From "The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Deer" - it's on Amazon and also YouTube for free.

PROGRESS UPDATE: Picking up a project again after taking months off is...I don't recommend it. You have to rediscover the original spirit and rhythm of a book, an album, a movie, etc., and many days were wasted. I very literally wrote "DEAD BOOK" a week ago in my notebook because I lost it and couldn't find it again. I already had an idea to write something new that I knew would make money, and when you're trans, you need A LOT of that.

But then, I remembered something. When I trashed my first attempt at a novel two years ago, the itch came back. It's this itch I have to paint something I have seen that I've heard no one speak of. That itch never truly went away and never will (while I'm sober anyways). Last year, I was brainstorming ideas with a friend for metaphors to tell the trans experience, and we weren't coming up with shit. It wasn't months and months later it suddenly came to me at the time I least expected it.

This really is my best chance to tell the tale. It's about drinking, lots of drinking, and the inability to love. When you're disillusioned with the idea of love, you try to get it elsewhere. You may become a workaholic, alcoholic, get addicted to gambling, try to learn as many foreign languages as you can, read all the classics in literature, or you may just have Futuruma playing infinitely in the background somewhere.

When you can't love or make love, it becomes very hard to connect with others. Loneliness leads to disconnection. And disconnection leads to connecting with the only thing you know and understand. And when you're at your lowest, you'll connect with what harms you.

That's what I want to paint, our connection to things, even though what we ultimately desire is a connection with our truest selves so that we may finally be able to connect with others.

From "The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Deer" - it's on Amazon and also YouTube for free.

PROGRESS UPDATE: Picking up a project again after taking months off is...I don't recommend it. You have to rediscover the original spirit and rhythm of a book, an album, a movie, etc., and many days were wasted. I very literally wrote "DEAD BOOK" a week ago in my notebook because I lost it and couldn't find it again. I already had an idea to write something new that I knew would make money, and when you're trans, you need A LOT of that.

But then, I remembered something. When I trashed my first attempt at a novel two years ago, the itch came back. It's this itch I have to paint something I have seen that I've heard no one speak of. That itch never truly went away and never will (while I'm sober anyways). Last year, I was brainstorming ideas with a friend for metaphors to tell the trans experience, and we weren't coming up with shit. It wasn't months and months later it suddenly came to me at the time I least expected it.

This really is my best chance to tell the tale. It's about drinking, lots of drinking, and the inability to love. When you're disillusioned with the idea of love, you try to get it elsewhere. You may become a workaholic, alcoholic, get addicted to gambling, try to learn as many foreign languages as you can, read all the classics in literature, or you may just have Futuruma playing infinitely in the background somewhere.

When you can't love or make love, it becomes very hard to connect with others. Loneliness leads to disconnection. And disconnection leads to connecting with the only thing you know and understand. And when you're at your lowest, you'll connect with what harms you.

That's what I want to paint, our connection to things, even though what we ultimately desire is a connection with our truest selves so that we may finally be able to connect with others.

The other day when I was volunteering at the library, I was shelving books when a little kid came up to me and just stared at me before asking “Are you a girl?”

Me: “uh… no, I’m not a girl.”

Kid: “are you a boy?”

Me: “Well, no, actually-“

Kid (looking at me with wide eyes): “Are you a *fairy*?!?”

Me (leaning down and speaking in a whisper): “Yes, but sshh, don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”

Then the kid just looked up at me with wide eyes before their face broke into a huge smile and they nodded enthusiastically.

That interaction made my entire frickin day. Also apparently I’m a fairy now.

One day...

Star Stroll ⭐✨🌟

Just my usual obsession with translucent dresses haha

From "The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Deer"

It's on Amazon and also YouTube for free if you would like to read before you buy.

Soooo after finishing my big three month media tour with this book with three weeks of rest (sort of like what Tommy is about to do here), I finally got back to work on writing my novella. This one is to be another year long grind. It needs so much work if it's going to make sense to anyone besides me.

I can't say too much about it just yet, but it uses one long metaphor to tell my trans story just like my children's book. It will be much more in depth this time, so it requires metaphors on top of metaphors to make everything work. Without them, telling the story plainly will just not hit.

The only hint I can give right now is that it involves a lot of alcohol.

Wow. I should hire this person to illustrate my next book.

Art by Davood Moghaddami

Window wings, fragile panes

Shield me from the dark

Warm me with your spark

~~~

Full resolution images and painting videos on Patreon

Part of my glass wings series

The ink bottle lying on your desk... begins to crawl away..???

I want a home mostly just to welcome people into it. There will be bowls of candy for guests, and the cookie jar is full. I’ll always say “I was just about to make a coffee/tea/cocoa, would you like one?” when somebody walks in. There’s lemonade and iced tea made fresh on hot days. Once it hits That Hour and they start saying they really should be going, I’ll remind them that the futon is always open, and I’m making cinnamon rolls tomorrow. There’s champagne and sparkling juice hidden on a high shelf just in case somebody announces their engagement or their pregnancy or their new job while they’re here. There is an extra chair in the living room, at the table, and on the deck, and it’s for you. I want to be able to say “if you’re ever in trouble, come to me.”

Backyard birdies!! :D

New reaction pic for y'all to be used when you get into an argument about trans healthcare and your opponent starts talking about the 0.8% or whatever or trans people who regret transitioning

My book is now available for all bookstores and libraries to order! Ask your local book place to order a copy for you.

Find "The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Deer" on Amazon, or see the full story and illustrations for free on YouTube. Buy it ONLY if you like it.

are you queer/ trans? i'm doing an assignment on queer media and wanted to include your book in it but i didn't wanna jump to any conclusions :w

I am trans, yes. Just ask if you need anything else.