#true story
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Me: I have a headache.
WebMD: And it'll be your last.
#true story#they always scared us#headache#webmd#internet Doctors#based on true story#feelings#emotions#dumblr
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if only i wasn’t such a depressed, suicidal, anxious, anorexic, autistic mess with big emotions, severe abandonment issues and trust issues </3 but that’s too much to ask ig😒
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It doesn't look like much but it tastes ah-mah-zing! Roasted Artichoke and Preserved Lemon pasta from the book, Anything's Pastable.
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Me: Okay, it's time for bed.
Tumblr: Wait don't go. You can hit people for free.
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The Barbie movie reminded me about how when I was little my parents were upset that I kept making my Barbie dolls kiss, so they bought me a Ken doll. The next day they found me having a funeral for poor Ken in the garden, he had died of tuberculosis. All the Barbies were in attendance and I buried him under our rose bush. The Barbies were too poor to afford a headstone (it was 1875) so I didn’t mark where the grave was and I never could find him again. He’s probably still there.
#barbie movie#barbie#feminism#ken#ken doll#i’m just ken#my writing#true story#ryan gosling#barbie dolls#greta gerwig#margot robbie#oppenheimer#barbenheimer#if you ever find a Ken doll wrapped in toilet paper that’s mine sorry
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if there's a condition called impulsive anthropomorphizing then I have it
#comic#comics#comic art#relatable comic#original comic#web comic#webcomic#humor#humorous#funny comic#cute comic#wholesome comic#comic writing#comic strip#true story#shower thoughts#funny thoughts#random thoughts#late night thoughts#deep thoughts#inane ramblings#illustration#storyboard
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The other day when I was volunteering at the library, I was shelving books when a little kid came up to me and just stared at me before asking “Are you a girl?”
Me: “uh… no, I’m not a girl.”
Kid: “are you a boy?”
Me: “Well, no, actually-“
Kid (looking at me with wide eyes): “Are you a *fairy*?!?”
Me (leaning down and speaking in a whisper): “Yes, but sshh, don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”
Then the kid just looked up at me with wide eyes before their face broke into a huge smile and they nodded enthusiastically.
That interaction made my entire frickin day.
Also apparently I’m a fairy now.
#wholesome#trans#transgender#agender#nonbinary#kids can be so frickin wholesome#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#true story
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His mother got duped by a man who claimed to love her—so he headed to Nigeria to find the con artist who broke her heart.
The Romance Scammer on My Sofa. The latest incredible true story from The Atavist.
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Did this at a party once
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From my pov, every woman's love language revolves around not needing to ask.
#mine#words#quotes#original quote#dark academia#spilled words#spilled thoughts#dark aesthetic#book quotes#text#words words words#dark acadamia aesthetic#women#true words#life#relationship#relatable#truth#true story
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What do you call a sick eagle?
illegal.
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i cant believe "whose a good girl" got her out of bed lmao
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When the right person hugs you it's medicine.
#personal#feelings#emotions#hug#medicine#thoughtful#true words#right person#true story#facts#words#chipsy
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We had the most egregiously evil little pony horse when I was growing up. I know everyone says that. Ponies are one of the animals that truly understand how to commit crimes but she was really deeply atrocious. One time she tried to murder me. Her name was Fancy.
I feel I should slightly explain here. See, my parents bought two acres with a house and a barn and pasturage and went “We’re farmers now!” They had absolutely no idea what they were doing. And at a certain point along that journey my mom got her hands on a horse. Technically she was half pony half horse so she was this weird middle size.
Fancy belonged to a friend of hers and he showed her how to saddle Fancy. And that was it. That was all we knew about this horse. So my mom brings her home and saddles her and we decide to go for a ride on this new creature in our lives. But Fancy, being the savvy bitch she was, was far too canny for our dumb asses.
Her maiden ride went to my older brother and ended rather abruptly when the saddle slid completely sideways and my brother toppled off her, miraculously unharmed but unwilling to ever try again. This made me like Fancy somewhat, because I hated my brother.
Those familiar with horse trickery would have caught her ruse but Fancy had deliberately held her breath to make the saddle seem tight enough. But in stride she let the breath out, the saddle loosened, and my brother came toppling down. She planned that fuckup.
I was a bit more game, being a dedicated horse girl. I wanted to succeed where my loathsome brother had failed. Keep in mind: none of us had ever ridden. We had no idea what we were doing, and in the only defense I’ll ever make of that hoofed demon it was probably not pleasant to have a human flopping on her back like a sack of potatoes. But I paraded around in a circle until she scraped my leg against a fence post. I lasted longer than my brother but had to admit riding an animal radiating malice at you is not comfortable.
We didn’t really ride Fancy much after that. She was a decorative aspect to the fields. Sometimes I’d sit on her bare back while she was eating. Every so often she’d buck me off for assuming familiarity with her.
But Fany's coup de grâce took several months. Most of the pasturage had electric fence running along it to keep the livestock from testing the fences or getting a taste for freedom. My parents were constantly moving fence posts and reallocating land to different purposes which is how one of the major gates ended up with electric fence running over top. During a move the wire got left up from the last border and now it was strung over what should have been an open passage.
I was taking a ride on Fancy, living in a fantasy that I had any idea what I was doing. My mom was out working in the yard, and as she passed through she left the gate open, forgetting the wire hazard. You know who didn't forget?
Fancy.
She beelined for the open gate and I realized a second too late what her plan was. I hauled back on the reins with all my strength but she powered through, charging at the wire. If I'd caught on sooner I could have tipped forward and probably cleared it.
It was roughly chest height. But she was too savvy, keeping a slow pace right up until the passage, and I didn't have time to react. The thought of getting electrocuted sent me down into a terrified backward limbo, desperately trying to flatten myself along her back.
It almost worked. But instead the wire caught under my chin, pressing back into my neck like a garrote. The only good news was that the wire wasn't live, but I was still in terrible danger. I squealed and wiggled and managed to twist my neck enough that the wire scraped over my face instead of pressing deeper. Once we were through Fancy stopped and turned to regard me, disappointed that her assassination had failed. My neck was bleeding but my head remained attached.
My mother was absolutely terrified and I was pretty shaken myself. We unsaddled Fancy for the last time, as full on murder was a bit more than I was willing to bear for the sake of pretending to be a fantasy hero on an epic journey. My neck still has a faint scar from her homicidal tendencies.
Fancy got to remain a decorative horse for many years after that, free of our attempts to ride her. Her last torment was when my mother decided to try to breed her to achieve an animal that was less interested in murder.
But Fancy, true to form, brutally attacked the stallion sent to service her, even when hopped up on horny hormones. There would be no foals from Fancy, and her saga ended when we sold her to another unlucky soul.
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girls rule.
#nothing like seeing a cool stranger nail it immediately after watching three dudes in a row biff it entirely. made us go absolutely feral#ren faire#renfaire#renaissance faire#renaissance festival#comic#comics#web comic#webcomic#original comic#comic art#true story#humor#women supporting women#girls rule
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