#you don't even know how permanent the retirement is
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your desire
got inspired, so here's something for steven grant. because i love awkward autistic oscar isaac.
pairing: steven grant x gender neutral! reader
for vibes: "venus" by bananarama
you were in london for a phd program. you wanted to pursue a doctorate in art history and work with repatriation. after all, every place deserved their stuff back.
especially from the british museum.
you lived in a simple flat across from the sweetest man you've ever met: steven grant.
now, aside from how tired he was and the sometimes weird things you'd wake up to coming from his apartment, he was a good neighbor.
at one point, he even helped you unlocked your door after you had left your keys in the apartment. you rushed to get out of the apartment as fast as possible and came back near 1am without your keys.
"i didn't even know i could do that." is what he said when he successfully gets your door open. you were sure he was joking. he was being genuine.
the dating scene in london wasn't...well, the state of dating was bad in general. especially considering that half of the world literally disappeared and then came back, including your own brother. your father died thinking he was dead permanently, leaving you with a soft spot and a desire to pursue a fulfilling relationship.
why wait if you might die tomorrow? there was always another world ending event around the corner.
perhaps developing a crush on your attractive neighbor was not the way to go.
none of the people you went out with had steven's smile. had his curls. had his smile. had his nose. had his little information dumps that you adored.
but from the interactions you guys had, it seemed the destiny might be platonic. which hurt your soft, romantic heart.
you were about to retire for the night since you had class the next day. that's when you heard mumbling outside your door. peeking through the peephole, you can see the man looked downtrodden. he was holding some flowers and a box of chocolates.
you opening the door surprises him. he nearly jumps out of his skin. "(y/n)!"
"hey." you lean against the doorway and cross your arms over your chest. you were wearing some comfortable lounging clothes: a tank top and some fuzzy pants with hello kitty designs. "everything okay?"
"huh? yeah. i mean..." he purses his lips and sighs. "got stood up on a date." again.
you understood all too well. you lost count of how many dates you went on and they just didn't show up. not even a text to tell you they weren't coming, or to ask for a rain check. wasting your time. and being general dicks.
the state of dating was not it.
"i'm sorry. i'm sure there was a reason." perhaps there was. perhaps there wasn't. there was no point in thinking about it.
"yeah. well, good night!" even when upset, there was still a pep in his voice.
watching him pull out his keys made you feel...sad. you didn't want him to spend time alone.
"how about you come in for a cup of tea? that way you don't have to eat the chocolates alone."
steven turns around. there's a sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you, making you melt.
"i'd like that. a lot."
you move aside to let him in and close the door behind you. he removes his shoes, setting them on the side and you take his jacket to hang it up.
steven sits at one of the seats at the kitchen island, watching you pull out your kettle and fill it with water, before placing it on a burner. you adjusted the flame to a medium.
"you want some cake? i have some left. it's lavender lemon." you ask, pulling out two mugs. you love the way his face perks up. one of them was a mug from the gift shop with an egyptology theme.
"i think i'll be fine. but it's kind of you to offer."
"okay. what about tea?"
"do you have chamomile? kind of...basic but..." he would like a sleep aid.
you don't say anything. you just smile at him and grab the box from your cabinet. you place a bag in each much, discarding the proper trash. "so...you wanna talk about it?"
steven spends the next few minutes talking about his feelings. it felt good for him to unload and vent just a little bit. he held no ill will towards his date. just some frustration about how his romantic life has hit a brick wall. something was always getting in the way of him pursuing a relationship. something was always happening. he was always screwing up. perhaps he was the problem.
in the middle, your kettle was screeching. so you turned off the burner and poured it into the mugs, letting the tea steep.
you can't help but relate. with all the people who stood you up, you wonder if you are the problem. were you that unlovable, that undatable, that people can't even tell you they weren't coming?
steven stops talking when he notices the way you're looking at him: with intensity. you look like you want to tell him something. "what is it?"
"what? you can keep going."
"you want to say something. your lip is twitching." he gestures. he takes a sip of his tea.
"well...i don't know if..."
"go on. you can say it."
you take a sip of tea before looking at him. "it's not your fault. none of it is."
steven's smile is sad. "you don't have to say that."
"i mean it. steven...i know it feels like it is. hell, i relate a lot. sometimes it feels like you're the problem because no one else wants you. but it's not your fault. i think you're...pretty cool. and amazing."
he blinks slowly, almost like a cat. he's busy just looking at you, admiring your features. your beauty. and your warmth. not many people would invite people over just to vent.
"it's all good to vent. but i also think it's important to...think of it as redirection. like my dating life sucks but my studies are going well. and i'm going to be published."
"r-really?" he watches you walk over to the record and set your mug down. you look through the vinyls and pick one.
"yeah. academically too. so i get academic validation. which isn't everything, but it's certainly nice." it was important to get your work out there. you turn the player on, place the disk, and then drop the needle.
your body movies instinctively. you recognize the synth beat, picking up your mug and moving your hips. "this was my dad's. he really like british 80s synthpop." you turn to steven and take a sip of your tea.
he was trying his best not to stare, not to watch the way your hips moved. it was mesmerizing. he wasn't one for dancing. he was not the best at following a rhythm.
you dance over to him and gently take his hand. "come on steven."
"i don't think so." he sees your pout. "okay, okay."
he gets off the stool and lets you guide him to the middle of the room.
your hips move. your body is unchoreographed. you weren't really a dancer. but you can't help yourself. you spins a few times, bathing in the casualty of it all. and unknowingly bathing in steven's love filled gaze.
you look deep into his eyes. his soft brown eyes. and your eyes glance down to look at his lips. his soft looking kissable lips.
could you be bold? could you make a move? was it appropriate to make a move? you take a sip of her tea and sets the mug down. "steven..." you bites her lip as the music keeps playing.
"y-yes (y/n)?" he could feel his cheeks warm up. especially as you step closer. your bodies are nearly touching.
you gently cup his face with one hand and pull him by his waist so his body is against yours. you could feel your own body against his. it was quite arousing.
you leans forward and kiss him softly, pulling away for a second only to kiss him again.
"i like you." you mutter against his lips.
steven doesn't know what to do. he's hesitant. because you want him. and maybe he wants you. but do you really want him? was it just the heat of the tea? or the music?
"you...you like...me?" surely there were better men. better people.
your eyes soften. "yes. i do. i like you. i like you a lot steven." the music appears to fade to a soft lull. your heart beats in your ears. perhaps you made a mistake.
"i know this is sudden. and maybe it's inappropriate considering that...you just got stood up and i invited you in my home and it seems weird and terrible honestly. and if you don't like me back that's fine. you can just tell me and i'll stop and you can go..." you begin rambling nervously. your mouth runs faster than you could comprehend.
he has to set his mug of tea down.
you stop talking when he presses a finger against your lips. he feels how soft they are. and is tempted to trace your lips with his finger. "don't...don't you dare stop."
your lips curled into a smile and he removes his finger to kiss you. his hands rest on your hips, trying to bring your bodies closer.
a small moan escapes you, feeling him grind up against you. his kisses are fervent, as if he's trying to taste you.
your back hits the edge of the tv stand, causing you to giggle. you let him kiss you, parting your lips so his tongue slides in. they dance for what feels like an eternity.
you manage to pull away and turn around so he's against the tv stand. then you tug him along, heading straight for your bedroom.
#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#moon knight#steven grant#gender neutral reader#female reader#male reader#x reader#steven grant x reader#steven grant x you#steven grant x y/n#steven grant x gender neutral reader#fluff#somewhat steamy#use your imagination
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well i’m glad that’s over
#ramble.txt#//#so i gather i'm the only one feeling like this so let me explain myself#seb retiring changes nothing about how i feel about him?#he's just moving on to do other things#and i will keep writing fic about him#i don't understand!!#i mean i didn't really enjoy seeing him get 1 point after a crap strategy#i mean the 1 point is nice i suppose but the strategy was crap regardless and also it's just 1 point...#maybe this is like senna saying that quote about coming 2nd being the first of the losers#what does it matter#apart from the WCC lol oops am............#///#what i'm trying to say is that yknow he's not dead!!! but from the general reaction i feel like it's like#like. like he is gonna be just because he retired ksjnfgkjfngk#you don't even know how permanent the retirement is
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Lorelei — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Part II
1 2 3 4 5
Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.
"Can I hold her?" You dread the question. The way he asks it, the way he looks at you, the way you know he's going out of his comfort zone to come to your house, knowing you don't want him there.
"Sure." You put your pride aside, having the best interest of your baby in mind. The little girl is placed carefully in his arms, and it breaks your heart to see just how well she fits there, like a missing puzzle piece.
"She's so beautiful." He whispers, brown eyes fully focused on his daughter—his daughter. For someone who avoided the topic of family like the plague, the concept was still weird to even think about, despite the way the girl in his arms looked just like him when he was a baby, countless pictures hung around his house before they were permanently destroyed by his father in attempts to torment Mrs. Riley.
"What was that, Captain?" Simon crooned teasingly, leaning his head closer to the baby to try to understand the babbles that were slowly becoming more and more clear each passing week. Of course, she was still too young to talk, though the little girl loved babbling out at any given moment.
"She's lovely, isn't she? Shame she looks like you." Your words came out teasing for the first time ever since you saw him again, the banter in your previous friendship coming back for a second as he playfully glared down at you.
"Shame she acts like me too." He jested, the baby's mannerisms very reminiscent of his own. You poke your tongue out at him jokingly before looking back down at your daughter, the strings of your heart being pulled the more you stare at her. The little creature doesn't cry much, luckily, so you have all the time in the world to simply admire what you created— what you both created.
"Look at her tongue stickin' out." Simon pointed out to the baby's tiny tongue sticking out, a quiet laugh leaving his lips at the way she imitated you. You gently pinch her chubby cheek, planting a kiss on her forehead as a small laugh escapes you too. It's not hard for her to steal your heart, Simon noticed.
"Hush, darlin', daddy's busy flirtin' with mommy." He knows he's overstepping, but... it's worth the risk. He wants what you used to have back then, despite knowing he doesn't deserve it. He'll prove himself, Simon promised since the first time he saw you again.
"Just so you know, this—" You point between him, the baby, and you. "Doesn't mean we're together. Not a chance." You try to be stern, though you both can't deny the look in your eyes. Still, you resist, not wanting to be disappointed again. Simon leaving is an open wound that never healed.
"I know." He replied after a few seconds, not looking at you. His eyes were focused on the baby, holding her close to his chest as she cuddled up to him, quieting down from her babbling. He sat down on the couch, one of his fingers absent-mindedly running over the features of his daughter.
"I'm thinkin' of retiring within a year or two, once Makarov's dead." He starts hesitantly, not daring to look at you just yet.
"Do you think the three of us can be a family? I know I messed up, and I'm sorry." He finally looks up at you, though only for a short second before he's getting up again, gently putting the baby in her crib. He gives her a small plushie to cuddle, soft blanket wrapped over her tiny frame. He comes back to you, bare hands hesitantly reaching for yours before noticing you're about to recoil back. He doesn't blame you.
"I'll do anything." He swears, taking a step back to respect your personal space. You look away for a few seconds, arms crossed and a small frown on your lips. The thought of Simon leaving or dying is always there, eating at the back of your mind.
"You're retiring?" Is all you can ask, not bothering to hide the sheer curiosity and confusion. Simon has been a soldier since he was 18— it's all he knows. He has given up his entire life and family— why stop now?
"Yeah. Think it's time to slow down... actually live life a little, for once. I had to retire at some point, yeah?" It wasn't an easy choice at all. He has bled for the army countless times, lost his family because of it, lost so many allies he can't even count them in his head, yet the tiny girl was the one that made him realize enough is enough.
"Interesting." It's all you reply, eyes slightly narrowed as you look deep into his, seeking for any signs of hesitation or lying. You find none.
"I'm serious. I can be a father to her, and... a husband to you, if you let me. Just like you wanted." Just like you told him you wanted things to be. Just like he thought about before breaking up with you after 4 years.
"Don't have to give me an answer now, but I'm retirin' and that's final." He went to grab his backpack, pulling out a folder. He placed it in front of you gently before giving his sleeping daughter a soft kiss on the forehead, eyes fully focused on her as he memorized her features. It's gonna be a long time until he sees her again.
"I'm deploying in an hour." He mentioned, his back turned towards you as you read the papers. His will, updated to include your daughter. Previously, it was only you there.
"Not comin' back for a long while, unless things go well. If shit hits the fan..." He knows it's always a possibility when dealing with Makarov.
"You'll both have enough to live a good life." He was getting choked up. Not crying or tearing up, but uncomfortable enough that he was struggling to speak.
"Simon." You call out and he turns his head towards you, slight surprise in his features. It's the first time you call him Simon since he came back into your life— it used to be Ghost, much to his dismay, to place even more space between you. He never said anything about it.
"Something to keep your heart safe." You walk up to him, both of your hands holding one of his, placing a hard object in his palm. He looks down at it and his heart almost stops.
The ID bracelet your baby wore shortly after she was born. He nods his head once in acknowledgment, expression growing more determined as his fingers trace the outline of the plastic.
"Come back to her safe." Your hand hesitantly went to the back of his neck, pulling him closer until his forehead was against yours. He lets you, and you're both stuck looking deep into each other's eyes for what feels like forever.
"Come back to us." You plant a soft kiss to his forehead before letting go, basking in the slight sense of normalcy, ignoring your worthless pride for once. He leans down and returns the kiss to your forehead, nodding once. He stares down at you, memorizing your features the same way he did with your daughter before turning around and leaving, swearing to keep the silent promise with a newfound sense of determination.
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Taglist:
@skulfan1 @survivalshxt @ghostslittlegf
#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#simon riley#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon riley x y/n#ghost x f!reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#simon riley x you#dad!ghost#dad!simon riley#mw2 fanfic#mw2 fluff#simon ghost fluff#ghost fluff
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poisoned mercury | damned if i do ya (damned if i don't)
a/n: oooohhhh i love them bad. the slow burn is slow burning a little bit. btw the song is daylight by 5sos!
series masterlist | previous | next
v. damned if i do ya (damned if i don't) by all time low
all the progress luke thought he was making with you was thrown out the window after the concert. at first, he was glad to have some distance between you guys. he was dealing with sorting out what he felt for you. it was stupid, really, how he realized that you reminded him a lot of his childhood nickelodeon crush, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was more than that.
sure, you were a fucking headache sometimes, but he liked it. he liked you. he liked how you always tore him a new one, made him feel normal, like he wasn’t luke castellan – lead singer of poisoned mercury, he was just luke when he was with you. you asked him about his music, his life, but knew when to stop right before the conversation got too heavy because you understood him. you knew how he felt even when he didn’t say it.
maybe he’d just been around his bandmates too much, teenage boys with emotional iqs of a thumbtack, but you took one look at him and he knew that you understood what he was feeling. as great of a writer he was when it came to music, he was never good with expressing how he felt.
but now, it’s been weeks since you last talked to him, like really talked to him. whenever he’d see you in your smoke spot, he’d try to start a conversation, but you’d stuff your vape in your pocket and walk away before he could even say hi. you stopped going to the gym in the morning, often coming into the cabin after your workout during random times of the day, no longer following a set schedule. you rarely hung out with the boys, opting to retire into your room earlier than usual. you still joined clarisse during her counselor duties, but she stopped letting the boys tag along when luke was available as much as she used to. she’d offer an apologetic smile to luke and slip out an excuse why he couldn’t join for music lessons.
luke was tired of it. he didn’t know what went wrong, what he did wrong, to make you act so cold towards him. even when you didn’t know him yet, you were never like this. you always had a snide remark ready for him, but now, he was met with silence.
on the bright side, he at least had inspiration to write new songs.
he wandered into the cabin, thinking that it would be empty. clarisse was being held hostage at arts and crafts again. (she complained the whole morning about it until chris offered to join her so she wouldn’t be the only one covered in glitter this time.) the stolls were in the studio recording the instrumentals for the song luke showed them a few days ago. they’d asked him who the song was about, though he had a feeling they already knew. he wasn’t really trying to be secretive with the words. and you, luke could only wonder where you were.
he stopped in his tracks at the sound of mr. d’s voice in your room. your bedroom door was wide open and luke feared that you’d see him so he hid around the corner, back pressed against the wall.
“this is serious, kid,” mr. d yelled. “your teammate is pressing charges so i need the full story! i don’t care if you don’t want to talk about it. this can go on your record permanently.”
“so let it!” you screamed back. luke heard you pacing around your room, heavy steps against the cabin floors. “i don’t care.”
“i care! i’ve been pretty goddamn lenient when it comes to you, y/n, but this?” mr. d countered, veins on his neck bulging out as he raised his voice. luke had never seen him like this, “this is fucking serious. you need to tell me exactly what happened.”
“she was talking about you, okay?” you sobbed. you sat on your bed, hands buried in your open palms. “she said something about your addiction. i don’t fucking know how she found out, but she said something and i just lost it, dad. she was talking out her ass and i just needed her to shut up because she didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about.”
mr. d’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek. he gulped, not saying a word. your dad looked at the decorated wall of your bedroom, polaroids of you and your friends, your framed high school field hockey jersey, and the concert ticket from the first show he ever took you to. he looked down at the pink rug on your floor, unable to say anything.
you looked up at him, eyes brimmed with tears, “there, i told you. happy now?”
it wasn’t long before mr. d stormed out of the cabin. luke flinched as the door slammed shut behind him. he heard you sobbing in your bedroom and he contemplated approaching you. you were already mad at him, for a reason that he still didn’t know, so what the hell?
with a deep breath, luke emerged from the corner and walked towards your door. his knuckles softly knocked on the open door. you looked up at the noise, rubbing your eyes with your forearm. you chewed on your bottom lip, “not in the mood to argue, castellan.”
“not here to argue,” he stood under your door frame, leaning against the side. “i’m here to see if you’re okay.”
you had this habit of running away from things when you knew it had the power to hurt you. it wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but your fight or flight response was triggered every time you started catching feelings for someone. it didn’t happen often, you developing actual feelings for people. you developed crushes, sure, but not feelings.
you didn’t get googly-eyed and love-dumb with guys. you knew better– growing up with a dad who could quite literally transform people’s lives with a snap of his finger made you hyperaware of people’s intentions with you. but sometimes, you get blinded by the guy who sweeps you off your feet and you forget about it all.
after the concert, you couldn’t stop thinking about luke. you already knew what kind of person he actually was, kind, caring, talented, all of the above, but there was still a nagging voice in your head telling you: “what if this is all an act?” “what if this is his move? pretending to be a different guy from the tabloids just to get you to fall for him then break your heart like everyone else did?” so you fled. you ran away from luke.
clarisse caught onto you avoiding luke fairly quickly. she no longer saw you two walking into the cabin together in the early mornings when she was getting ready for the day. you started declining invitations to hang out at the activities center, stopped having time to help her with music lessons when the band was tagging along, and started hanging out with her in your room instead of the common space.
she asked you about it after a week of the same thing. you told her you just weren’t in the mood, lacked energy. you said a million excuses but she could see right through you. you and the lead singer weren’t really subtle with your longing glances.
you crossed your legs under you, pulling the blanket up to cover your legs. you moved over on your bed, tilting your head to let him inside. luke took his shoes off and closed the door behind him, sock-clad feet tapping against the wooden floors. he sat on the edge of your bed, playing with the stray thread on your blanket.
“you ever feel like your parents wish they had a different kid?” you whispered, “maybe a kid that wasn’t so difficult?”
“all the time,” luke replied, “every time my name is in the tabloids, i swear it takes years off my mom’s life.”
you laughed, sniffling, “you need to take it easy on your mom. she’s too good for this world.”
“that she is,” he leaned back on his elbows, resting his head on his shoulder. he tapped your leg under the blanket, “you know your dad loves you, right?”
“yeah,” you sighed, looking at luke. your makeup was smudged under your eyes and it took all his power not to lean over to wipe it away. you hunched your shoulders over when you spoke again, “just feels like sometimes i’m too much for him and i don’t know how to stop doing that.”
“i don’t think you should.”
it was the truth. you dealt in extremes. you were intense but it was only because you were passionate about things. he’d seen you practicing for hours, staying up late to help the younger kids with their projects even if it wasn’t your job, bossing people around to make sure that the camp activities were perfect. when you put your mind to something, luke knew there was no stopping you.
“so i’m guessing you heard that whole thing with my dad?”
“yeah,” luke rubbed the back of his neck. he looked at you, feeling caught that he’d been listening in on your private conversation. “i didn’t know anyone was in here when i walked in.”
“it’s fine,” you shrugged, “pretty sure the whole camp heard my dad yelling anyways.”
he laughed, “probably. i’d never seen him like that before. he’s usually so chill. it kinda caught me off guard.”
“me too.”
“it’s not as bad as when my mom yells at me though,” luke offered, trying to lighten the mood. he grinned when he saw your eyes brighten. you never did pass up the opportunity to have luke embarrass himself. if he could stop you from crying, he would lay out all his embarrassing stories in front of you for your listening pleasure. “the time she found out that me and trav got banned from wichita, like the whole city, she got so mad that the hotel we were staying at kicked us out because there were so many noise complaints. had to sleep on the bus. my back was killing me the entire time we were playing a show the next day.”
“what the fuck did you guys do that warranted a ban from the whole city?”
luke’s cheeks turned pink, “we mooned a cop car.”
you bursted into uncontrollable laughter, falling back on your pillows. luke watched you, laughing along at your reaction. you were crying again, but it was a good cry this time. luke thought you looked pretty like this; cheeks red, eyes shut as you tried to regain your composure, and smiling, all teeth and lips. he hadn’t seen it in a while and he wanted to take a picture of you right now just so he could always remember how you looked at this moment. he wasn’t sure if he could survive another few weeks without seeing it again.
luke nudged you as your laughter died down, “if shit goes down with your teammate, there will be three of us with a permanent record in this cabin.”
you smiled at him, sadly, voice returning to the hushed tone you used earlier, “you think my dad could forgive me for this?”
“don’t think anyone could hold a grudge against you even if they tried, five star,” luke placed a hand on your thigh covered by the blanket. he relished in the feeling of the hand you placed over his own. it felt intimate. “what does your mom think about all of this?”
“i dunno,” you played with the rings on his hand, twisting the silver metals on his fingers, “i haven’t talked to her about it yet. been avoiding her calls.”
“well, happy to know that i wasn’t the only one getting the silent treatment,” he teased, no bite to his voice. “shit, five star, even with your punishments, you still manage to not make me feel special.”
you squeezed his hand, a giggle escaping your lips, “shut up.”
luke looked at you, “you should probably talk to her soon.”
“i will,” you nodded, meeting his gaze, “soon.”
the two of you stayed there in silence, you playing with his rings and the bracelets on his arm. you were so enamored by the silver jewelry on his hand, twirling his rings to read each engraving, looking at each design, humming in appreciation. you looked at the camp half blood bracelet on his wrist, recognizing the beads on the string.
“i can’t believe you got a camp bracelet before i did this summer,” you huffed, admiring the beads. “i’ve been here longer than you and nobody made me one yet.”
“a little girl made it for me,” luke said, smiling at the memory. “i helped her with her with the production of the song for her summer project and she made it for me.”
“i didn’t know you also produced music.” luke castellan continued to surprise you.
“not well,” he replied. “just the basics, but i like to think i helped her out. annabeth— you know her? the kid with perfect pitch. fucking brilliant. smarter than i was at her age.”
“i love beth. i’m pretty sure she’s the smartest 12-year-old to ever exist,” your eyes twinkled, moving your index finger to his own, “what’s the story with this one?”
luke looked down at the ring you were touching. it was the silver ring he bought for himself using his first paycheck from their album sales. it cost him a pretty penny, but it was worth it. the font was tiny, but he memorized the words.
“aγάπη χωρίς πείσματα δεν έχει νοστιμάδα,” luke said, no doubt butchering the pronunciation. “it’s greek. my mom used to read greek proverbs to me as a child. i think she hoped i’d become the next great philosopher, but instead i became a musician. this phrase stuck with me.”
“what does it mean?”
“love without a bit of stubbornness isn’t tasteful,” he whispered, “it’s a little reminder to myself that even though i can be difficult as shit sometimes, i’m worth it.”
luke cleared his throat, “had a tough time when we first got big. i’m sure you’ve heard of some stories. there was a time when me and my mom didn’t talk much. i thought i knew what was best and i pushed her away. i was so stubborn, five star.”
“my dad left when i was a kid and for second, i thought i would lose my mom too,” he shook his head, the bitter taste of regret in his mouth as he recalled those memories. “im glad i didn’t. this ring reminds me that no matter how stubborn i am, i still deserve love, y’know? maybe it’s stupid, but sometimes i doubt it. mom always told me that love isn’t supposed to be easy, but it’s supposed to always be worth it– worth all the trouble, the stubbornness, the hurt, so this little phrase keeps me grounded in a weird way.”
“worth it to an extent,” you said. there was something hidden in your words like you were somehow asking him if you fell within the extent of it being worth it. it was in the look in your eye, doubt and worry that maybe you pushed it too far this time and you were no longer worth the fight.
“extent is subjective. i know my mom thinks i’m worth it. i know that no matter how much me and the stolls get into fights, our friendship is worth it. i know that even though me and chris grew up to be different people, our bond is worth it,” luke leaned in closer as if he was going to tell you a secret, something that stays between you and him, only allowed to be spoken within the walls of your room. “and you, five star–”
he couldn’t finish his sentence. his words got caught in his throat. he was afraid that if he kept talking, he wouldn’t be able to stop. he didn’t know if there was a universe out there where fighting for you wouldn’t be worth it. had you been thinking about him all this time you’d been apart? have your thoughts been plagued by the idea of him? all he could think of was you. all his songs were about you. it seemed like everything had been about you since he met you.
is it too much too soon to even say things like that? luke didn’t know where you stood, if you even felt the same way about him as he did about you. how evil must the world be to have you exist in his orbit but not allow him to fight for you?
the corner of your lips lifted a tiny bit and luke knew he didn’t need to say anything else. you understood.
luke wanted to stop you when you removed your hand from his, but he didn’t want to test his luck. you dug through the drawer by your bed, pulling out the familiar vape, “i could really go for a smoke right now but this stupid thing died.”
an idea popped into luke’s mind. he got up, motioning for you to do the same. you stayed seated on your bed, eyebrow raised in concern.
“come on,” luke sighed, playfully rolling his eyes when you still refused to get up. he held out his hand, looking down at you. “you trust me?”
you glanced at him then at his hand, deciding. it felt like a loaded question, like he was asking about something more than if you’d go with him to whatever adventure he had planned for the both of you. his heart hammered in his chest as he waited for your answer. you didn’t say anything to his question, unsure if you could rationalize your decision, but when you laced your fingers with his, luke didn’t let go of your hand until you were both out of the campgrounds.
#frances writes#poisoned mercury#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan fanfic#luke pjo#luke castellan#luke castellan pjo#luke castellan fic#luke castellan x yn#luke castellan x y/n#luke castellan x you#percy jackson#percy jackson fanfic#pjo fanfic
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✨00Q end of the year fic rec list ✨
(to commemorate the year of the lord 2023 when this ship came back to kick my ass)
the simplest of crimes by pdameron - fake marriage AU. my favorite 00Q fake married au just because the stakes are so low like they didn't have to do all that but the build up is so good.
come a lily, come a lilac by pdameron - florist!Q AU. this really got me giggling and twirling my hair.
James Bond Will Return by sorion - post-Spectre James comes back. a very charming character study.
as permanent as stone cathedrals by pdameron - pining Q. beautifully written with just the right amount of whump.
people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron - fake relationship but posh. i love whodunnits.
Hold Tight by orphan_account - Spectre fix-it. and fix it they did. also has my second favorite Q name.
lacunae (just the blood you owe) by finestkind - Q offers comfort as bond deals with grief. this fic honestly makes me ache, the way it handles friendship and grief and love UGH.
Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You) by Brihna - Spectre re-write where Q and James sleep before he goes off to Mexico. possibly my favorite Spectre fix-it, love emotional constipation and miscommunication.
Crossing the Bar by GwynDuLac - Q pulls bond out of retirement for an emergency mission. the best mission fic i have ever read hands down.
bloom on my skin, echo in my soul by Areiton - soulmate au. gorgeous writing.
if I couldn't be strong by SailorChibi - post-Spectre James is found abandoned in a hospital in a coma. i love how quietly vindictive Q is in this.
a bloodless coup by Ark - marathon sex. very vulnerable.
I Could've Been a Maths Teacher by Brihna - Q branch gets invaded. v good translation of the comic into prose.
I Don't Take Your Pleasure For Granted by Catchclaw - Q develops a crush. love me some pathetic Q.
I Won't Shiver, I Won't Shake by Only_1_Truth - Skyfall re-write, lots of Q whump. the hurt is so good but the comfort is even better. plus i love attack roombas.
Favours by dhampir72 - pining from Q's POV. fun fact: my gf once quoted a line of this fic to me and i knew immediately which fic she was reading, that's how much i've read this.
rain by Aniron84 - touch starved Q. god GOD, this fic!! there was a time in my life, i read this multiple times a day. the description of loneliness is so on point it always hurts.
Fidelity by marlowe_tops - Q seems to have picked up a stray. local idiot doesn’t know he’s in a relationship, struggles mentally
Indelible by enjolras_lexa - 5+1 of bond breaking into Q's apartment. quite gentle and funny.
A Hitch in the Holster by APrettySpy - Q is having A Time during a heat wave and like Q i'm not immune to the holster
when the world isn't fair by Mlle_Heloise - James rescues Q's holiday. warm and fluffy.
The Pros and Cons of Wayward Agents by Brihna - Q whump with a protective Bond. is it bad to be all teehee while reading someone beat someone else to unconsciousness
Best Dressed by HandsAcrossTheSea - PWP with kilts! really good p0rn and with bottom Bond to boot!
Through A New Lens: A Spectacular Love Story by christinefromsherwood - Q discovers he has a glasses kink, or does he? listen, i too am not immune to daniel craig in glasses so i can relate.
talk / listen by thestalwartheart - dirty talk. a masterclass in p0rn honestly, SO good.
The Inevitability of Time by dhampir72 - soulmate au. will never stop recommending this, it's so tragic and yet not?
#00Q#rec list#007#james bond#quartermaster#i did not expect to get obsessed with them again#but honestly#one of the highlights of my year#there's such good fic out there im always well fed#ive read all of these at least 10x each
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This is a very aimless ramble but. I am very middle of the road on the idea that Kaz could... Uhh, Retire, from the Barrel life. I'm not saying that he can't heal or whatever, (bc he can, will, and should, however long it takes), but I feel like removing him from Ketterdam specifically is like taking a frog from somewhere damp. He'll fucking die, put him back..... Like, I quite like a good few of the fics where like he dramatically fakes his death or has a whole second life running, or they go to Lij, or whatever, but I have to suspend my disbelief sometimes. There's a whole point about futurity here that I'm too tired to teaze out but... well, think of how many times Kaz says in CK that Ketterdam is 'his' city, and how he outright refuses to go to Ravka with them; and even after they've run out Pekka, which you might assume was what was keeping him there, he seems to just intend on experimentally creating and destroying, and making himself useful to and deserving of Inej. His future plans amount to 'fuck shit up' which maybe comes across as directionless, but also... Kaz likes stealing paintings and interfering with merch business and gathering blackmail. He didn't steal Van Eck's De Kappel because it would help him get revenge for Jordie, he stole it just to prove he could, and he seemed to find it rather funny to play dumb when Van Eck mentioned it. He has a lot of pride in the Dregs, as well, and I don't think he'd like to leave them in someone else's hands; he literally calls the Slat 'my house' when he orders Per Haskell out. So even though the removal of the revenge motivation might make him struggle for a while, I also find it hard to see him necessarily embarking on... a conventional and/or respectable life lmao. The dream he has during the firepox where he's looking through the farmhouse window at himself and Jordie, who won't let him in, says to me that he can never quite go back to who he was. Unconventional and disreputable... maybe more likely. (You know that SNL skit that's like. "My dad got me a pink gun. So there's a lot there." Yeah I can't help but think it would be like that 😭). But you're not getting him permanently out of Ketterdam, ever, imo. Retreating maybe a bit, actually leaving the Barrel life... Hm
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Collide (7)
Hi guys ♥
We come to the end of this series that I really enjoyed writing. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did and I thank again all those who took the time to comment or like the different chapters.
It was a big work and I'm kind of sad that it ends to be honest, but I think it's better to finish it this way :)
Enjoy ♥
TW : Kidnapping, hurt, angst, fear.
PART 1 I PART 2 I PART 3 I PART 4 I PART 5 I PART 6
______________________________________________________________
Your rehabilitation is going well, even if you find that the time is long to be completely honest. After four weeks you had the right to have your cast removed to make you put a splint, which has already helped you move a little better by yourself. After that you were able to start a rehabilitation, allowing you to quickly find the pitch. You miss playing football terribly and you don't know how you will do when you have to retire permanently. But you’d rather not think about it for now, focusing on the idea of playing again as soon as possible.
To pass the time during your rehabilitation, you started painting more than before. You are not tired enough to go to sleep after your workouts so you get tired using your concentration otherwise. You paint a bit of everything, without it being very precise. Landscapes, objects, memories of your childhood… You paint a bit of everything that goes through your head.
Leah likes to come and join you in your studio, apparently finding yourself with your long white shirt and painted hands particularly attractive. You’re not complaining, of course. You wouldn’t know why you feared Leah’s eyes on your painting until you really let her into your studio. Maybe because she knows a little about the subject and because what you paint is something you consider intimate. You never really let anyone see what you were painting. But again, Leah is different.
********
You come back from training, which you were able to participate in for the first time since your injury. Your leg is back as muscular as before and you managed to recover to play the last games of the season, including a very important England Cup final for the club.
You’re also at the same point with Chelsea to win the championship, which also means a lot to Arsenal. And for Leah, coming back on a double win would be something exceptional for her. And you hope that you and the team will be able to offer this to all of you. Your teammates are relieved to have you back and you are happy to be able to help them too. It's not yet a question of you going back to a game entirely from the beginning, but playing the joker of the second half suits you perfectly for the moment.
So you’re back from practice, lying on the couch in your living room watching Love Island. Alessia isn't with you tonight, stating that she intended to offer herself a good hot bath, certainly with a multitude of bath salt and candles.
You and Leah managed to sit on the couch, lying next to each other after dinner. Leah seems to be captivated by the screen but you are not really. Your gaze must weigh on her at least a minimum since she ends up turning her eyes on your face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" the blonde wonders.
"For nothing" you mumble by biting your lower lip.
Your fingers gently push back a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. This isn't really the truth, since you have an idea that has been in your head for some time and you don't know how to propose it to Leah. Your lie doesn’t work at all about Leah arching an eyebrow.
"Since when you try to lie to me?"
You laugh slowly, letting your fingers slide over her jaw. You may have seen her daily for months, but you doubt that you will ever tire of the perfection of her facial features. You hit her gently on the nose when she pretends to bite you though.
"If I offer you something and you find it too strange, you agree to act like you didn’t hear anything?"
Your question seems to surprise Leah, whose attention you now have. Her curious gaze scrutinizes you attentively.
"Is it something sexual?" she grins.
"No, you horny teenager boy" you laugh
"What is it then?"
You feel the curiosity in her voice too and you briefly wonder what she can think of before answering her. But when you open your mouth to offer her what you have in mind, you abruptly reverse.
"No nothing, forget it. It’s a bad idea"
You feel a little blushed and you hope that Leah will accept what you just said. But you also know perfectly well that it won’t.
"But tell me!" exclaims the blonde rising suddenly, almost throwing you on the ground.
"Leah!" you laugh-shout when you catch up to her size to stay on the couch.
"What is it? Tell me!"
To support her request, Leah sits on your stomach, thus preventing you from moving if ever the idea came to you to run away in the kitchen. And you have to admit that it came to mind for a few seconds.
"No" you answer smiling and shaking your head.
"You leave me no choice."
With an evil smile, Leah starts tickling your ribs, causing your uncontrollable laughter. You try to escape, but between her muscular strength and the loss of yours through laughter, you end up accepting the idea that you have no chance to escape.
"All right, all right! I’ll tell you."
Satisfied, Leah immediately stops her torture session and patiently waits for you to catch your breath to be able to answer her.
"I was wondering if you would accept that I make a portrait of you"
You see curiosity give way to surprise, then reflection on Leah’s face. You don’t do much portrait to be completely honest, you once made a replica of a wedding photo of your parents for their twentieth wedding anniversary and that’s it.
And a Raven portrait, but you’re not sure that matters.
"You want to paint me?" wonders Leah
"Only if you fully agree with that. You have the right to say it’s weird"
"I don’t think it’s weird"
Leah smiles at you and you immediately know that she means what she’s saying to you. She’s still sitting on your belly and you’re gently sliding your fingers down her legs, mechanically reshaping the scar from her surgery last year.
"Like a Titanic painting?"
"I imagined it with a little more clothes to be honest" you laugh softly. "But sincerely, how you feel most comfortable"
"That would be amazing" ended up answering Leah after a few seconds of reflection.
You smile at her and pull her against you, kissing her lips. When the pretty blonde lies on top of you and you turn your attention to the TV screen, you are in truth once again not focused at all on what is happening there. Your mind is already thinking about the canvas you are going to make and what you want to bring out on it.
********
When you can finally play an entire football game, Leah’s portrait is almost complete. What started out being a little intimidating quickly became a special moment between you. You feared at first that the way you represented her would not suit her. However, you have pushed this fear into a corner of your head since you will not allow Leah to see the canvas until it's finished. Despite her self-confidence, Leah seemed almost shy to you at first. It must be said that the look you put on her in those moments is different from the stolen looks you give her when you watch television, or when you admire her sleeping when you wake up before her.
But you have an excuse to admire her as much as you want now and you never get tired of it. The truth is, you’re almost disappointed that this is over. You loved spending hours looking for the perfect color mix for her eye or hair color. And having her with you in your painting studio also makes you happy.
Over time, Leah has become familiar with your lair and seems to enjoy spending time there too. When you tell her that you no longer need her and that she can go do something else, she often comes back to you with other things to do. To make her feel more comfortable than a simple chair, you bought an extra sofa despite Leah’s protests that it’s frankly not necessary.
The following Tuesday, after training, Leah goes to spend time with her family. Well, Amanda asked you to be here too, but you still want Leah to spend time alone with her family. So you go from time to time, but today Leah goes alone directly after training.
"I’m gonna miss you" says Leah, hugging you.
You may be exaggerating your goodbyes, but you don’t care. You enjoy your embrace, Leah’s arms around your waist while yours are around her neck. Just like you enjoy her kisses on your cheek, on your jaw and in your neck.
"I’m going to miss you too" you smile as you take her face in both hands to put a kiss on her lips.
"Oh God" whines Katie joining you at the exit "You will see you again in maximum four hours, don’t you think you’re a little too much?"
"Five if I beat them all" Leah smiled mischievously as she picked you up again, kissing you in the hollow of your neck.
You laugh when you hear Katie sigh desperately, then turn around when you hear the building door open again, probably in search of some moral support.
"Caitlin comes kiss your girlfriend to get her off my back, please" Leah says when she sees the Australian coming with Kyra and Steph.
"I’m not as needy as you are" Katie snorts
You see Caitlin rolling her eyes but approaching Katie who discreetly passes an arm around her waist to train her to her car. When you see Alessia finally arrive, you know that you will not be able to postpone your little separation very longer.
"Write to me when you arrive?" You ask Leah despite the fact that she does it every time.
"Sure" smiled Leah.
After a few kisses exchanged (Alessia must practically tear you from Leah’s arms), you find yourself in the Mercedes of the blonde in the direction of your building.
The ride is full of discussion, laughter and songs. With Less' promise of homemade pizzas, you know you’re going to have a great night. Lia is supposed to join you a little later to spend the evening with you, just like Manu.
"Shit, I left my phone in your car. Sorry, can I have your keys please?" you sigh when you come out of the garage.
If Leah had been with you you wouldn’t have cared, but this time it’s different. You take back the keys of Alessia’s car in the hands with an excuse smile and you go back quickly. After retrieving your phone, you return to the elevators and press the button on your floor by sending a message to Leah informing her that you have arrived home.
You take the time to put your bag in your apartment and grab a bottle of water in your fridge. You are filling the bowl with Raven’s croquettes when you hear the characteristic sound of something crashing into Alessia’s apartment, making you roll your eyes. This is clearly not the first time and probably the last.
"I don’t know if we’ll ever meet someone as clumsy as Auntie Less" you tell Raven.
The latter throws a reproach glance over her meal, without taking care to stop eating.
"I never said it took away her qualities" you answer by raising both hands in the air.
After two or three caresses, you get up to join Alessia in her apartment and probably help her to clean what has fallen. You just hope it’s not the jar of flour or tomato sauce she uses to make her pizzas.
"You alright Less?" you ask when entering your friend’s apartment.
But you freeze suddenly. It’s not Alessia who is in front of you, where she should be. It's not Alessia who is in the middle of the glass bricks of a mozzarella jar that
And it’s not Alessia looking at you with a dark smile, arms crossed over her chest.
It's Helena.
Your brain makes a short circuit for a few seconds, during which you watch her without moving. You don’t know what she’s doing here, how she found you and how she got into Alessia’s apartment. And what scares you even more is knowing exactly where Alessia is. That’s finally the first thing you can say. You know what she’s capable of, and that terrorizes you.
"Where’s Alessia?" you ask her, with your chaotic breathing
"After all these years without seeing me that’s all you have to say to me?" laughs coldly Helena.
You suppress a chill. Her bad and cold laugh reminds you of very bad memories, but you try not to let yourself be dragged there for the moment. You focus on the present and therefore on the health of one of the people who matters most to you right now.
"Where is Alessia?" you repeat, in a slightly louder voice.
"Don’t worry about her, she’s fine"
Her tone and voice are filled with disdain. When she starts to move, moving around the apartment looking around her, you feel like electric currents running through your body. Nothing to do with what Leah gives you, though.
Leah.
Finally, it’s a good thing the blonde is with her family right now. You don’t know what Helena wants from you, but it’s out of the question that your girlfriend crosses paths with your ex’s. The idea that Alessia had to do it makes you nauseous.
"So this is where you live now?"
You don’t answer anything, just watching her like milk on the fire. You know very well that when she seems calm, this is where she's the most dangerous. When she realizes that you will not answer her, Helena turns to you with an amused look.
"It’s true that you were much less talkative at the end of our relationship. I forgot"
"What do you want, Helena?" you ask coldly.
"Watch your tone, pretty girl" tsked Helena looking at you.
Unlike the last time you saw her, you supported her gaze when she stuck it in yours. It seemed to surprise her. But time passed and you grew and evolved. You changed, just like her. Her face is thinner and slender, purple circles give her two eyes steel color an impression of disturbing grandeur. She's still pretty tho, but has definitly nothing attractive to you.
"What do you want?" you say again.
Helena comes to position herself in front of you and even if your mind begs you to run away, you don't move. Not until I know what’s going on and especially what she did to Alessia.
"You? You didn’t come back to see if I lived in the same place for nothing, did you?"
You feel your stomach fall from several floors. You don't understand how she saw you, you were perfectly hidden that morning. She couldn’t see you from her house, let alone from the window where you saw her. Your face must be talking since Helena is laughing.
"Next time you come spying on me, do it wisely. The neighbor saw you hiding behind his car. He almost called the cops."
Helena laughs again and gets closer to you. You’re only a few inches apart now.
"Did you miss me?" she asks you with a mischievous smile.
"Not for a fucking second" you answer coldly.
Her smile fades as quickly as you slapped her and you see her look change. Seeing her so surprised is so surprising to you that you let your guard down. It doesn’t take more than that for Helena to jump at the chance, grabbing Alessia’s rolling pin to crush her with all her might on your skull, knocking you out instantly.
********
Your skull hurts when you try to open your eyes. You realize you’re lying on a cold floor and it’s dark. Your eyes need a few seconds to get used to the ambient darkness. Your hands are immobilized in your back, preventing you from helping you get up in the small room you are in. You quickly realize that it must be a small cellar somewhere. In front of you, Helena looks at you attentively, your phone in her hand.
"Drop it" you mumble as you roll on your back before sitting up.
"She’s pretty stubborn" Helena replies, ignoring you completely.
She turns your phone screen in your direction and you can see Leah’s ID. She’s trying to call you. If your gaze lingers for a few seconds on the photo you chose for her contact, you also manage to see the time it is. And it’s been at least five hours since you left her from the training ground. Lia and Manu are supposed to have arrived at your home as well and you sincerely hope that they were able to help Alessia.
When your screen turns black again, Helena gently rests it on the ground and puts her attention back on you.
"You continue to be a constant problem for me, it’s painful."
You don’t answer at that either. Not out of fear as was previously the case, but because you learned that ignorance is the best contempt. You don’t want to give Helena any more hold on you.
"Looks like you’ve made some friends. How all those people can be interested in someone like you?" laughs Helena, and this time you can’t support her gaze.
That’s kind of the question you constantly ask yourself in the background and probably where most of your insecurities come from. How can people care about you? Why did Ingrid choose to put herself in danger and get you out of that cursed house? Why did Laia and Leila automatically take you under their wing in Manchester? Why does Alessia also consider you a sister? Why do Manu, Lia, Katie, Kyra, Caitlin consider you a friend today?
By what miracle does Leah seem to be in love with you, too?
"You’re nothing and mean nothing. It was time I came to remind you, I think."
You answer nothing, your eyes stubbornly fixed on the ground at your feet, jay tightens. Your silence and lack of reaction seem to begin to annoy Helena.
"Look at me when I talk to you" spits Helena.
You hate to obey so quickly, but you automatically raise your gaze on her. But it allows you to realize that the mask of coldness that she used to keep is now cracked. She realizes that she no longer has the control as before and that gives you a little courage.
"You are mine. You belong to me."
The words she says are somewhat similar to those Leah can utter in your most intimate moments, but the intent behind it is completely different. Where there is only evil in Helena, behind those of Leah there is only love, devotion and admiration. Even if you don’t understand how and why you’re lucky enough to have a girl like Leah in your life, you realize right now that what Helena is telling you is wrong.
You have people who love and appreciate you. People who believe in you.
"And you know you won’t love anyone else as you love me"
Helena tries a poker game, but it only triggers a scornful laugh from you.
"I don’t even have enough interest in you to hate you anymore" you answer coldly.
The sound of the slap she gives you echoes in the little room. You should have expected it. The skin of your cheek burns after its blow and you know that she put all her strength into it.
"No one will be interested in you for ever as I will and you know it. Look! Even your precious girlfriend stopped trying to call you"
Helena grabs your phone and throws it in your direction. It comes straight to your head before it ricochets off your head and falls to the ground. You see the number of missed calls from Leah, but you find that it’s indeed been long minutes since she tried to contact you. You also received other calls from people you can’t see and the usual whatsapp notifications and different social networks you’re on. The only difference from usual is Lia’s missed calls.
"You didn’t listen to anything I told you. You keep strutting around on the football fields and chasing your stupid ball. You are ridiculous."
A new slap sounds in the room and you close your eyes under the impact. You pretty sure you will have bruises. You’re trying to get back on your feet, hoping that your muscles that are more developed than before will allow you to do better than all these years ago. Where you spent hours at the gym, Helena seems to have spent them lying on her bed using illegal substances.
But your attempt is quickly spotted by Helena, who doesn't hesitate to return you to the ground with a well placed kick. You crash violently against the ground, the pain leaving you groggy for a few seconds.
A loud sound makes you suddenly open your eyes and you fear for your life for a few seconds, but you finally understand that it's actually the door of the cellar that we tried to force. A split second later, it opens on the fly, letting in several armed people. Your first reaction, no doubt stupid, is to believe that they are Helena’s accomplices. But when they throw themselves at her, you realize that if they’re there, it’s to help you.
THey help you get up and free you from the bonds that held your hands before getting you out of the cellar. Honestly, you don’t understand what’s going on. When you get out of the building, you realize you’re not far from your building.
The night seems to have fallen for a long time and the headlights of the police cars illuminate the street at regular intervals. They take you to an ambulance and you let it happen, like a robot. However, you quickly come back to reality by hearing a voice you know well pronounce your name.
Leah.
You barely have time to turn around as you find yourself caught in her arms, her hair obstructing your field of vision and her perfume enveloping all your senses. When you close your eyes, you feel tears coming out of your eyes and soon your whole body is shaken with tears.
Whispering comforting words in your ear, Leah leads you to the ambulance without releasing you for a single second. And that’s exactly what you need, the way you hold onto her shirt could attest to that.
"Alessia" you manage to pronounce after a few minutes.
You’re sitting in the back of the ambulance, Leah at your side while the paramedics seem determined to examine you from head to toe despite your confirmation that you’re okay.
"She’s fine" Leah says "She’s shocked, but she’s fine. Lia and Manu finds her when they come to her apartment, she was in her bedroom. She's not hurt."
You nod, feeling your throat knotted again. Knowing what she went through this because of you gnaws at you from within.
"It’s my fault Lee. She came back because I was seen in her neighborhood in Oslo. You were right. I should never have gone."
"It’s not your fault" Leah replies, wiping one of your tears rolling down your cheeks
But you cannot tolerate that answer. You gently shake your head and shift a little to get away from her. You don’t deserve someone to comfort you after all the evil you brought tonight. Especially not someone like Leah. Someone who deserves better. It’s time you stopped being selfish.
"Y/N..."
Leah try to take you back against her, but you are interrupted by one of the nurses who comes back to you with different papers in his hands. Apparently you are fine, but they still want to keep you in the hospital under observation for the night. You will probably be visited by police officers to discuss what has just happened.
You nod, despite the fact that you are getting tired of hospitals.
"Are you coming with us?" the nurse asks Leah
"Yes" she answers automatically
"No" you answer at the same time
The look Leah gives you is so shocked that you can’t help but feel guilty. Like at the beginning of your relationship, you still have no desire to hurt or harm her.
"Alessia’s gonna need you" you’re vaguely mumbling as an explanation
"She has Lia and Manu with her and we called her parents"
Realizing the number of people involved in this story, you curl up and squeeze your palms against your eyes. When you feel Leah’s hand on your shoulder, you have once again the reflex to try to detach yourself from it. But Leah doesn't let you.
"Everybody’s gonna hate me" you mumble, before you start thinking out loud. "I’m gonna have to move from here, change places and stop football. The best thing is that I go back to Norway and I…"
"Y/N, shut up for mercy"
You oblige and freeze instantly when you hear Leah’s voice. With the help of her hands, she gently lifts you up and removes your hands in the same way from your eyes.
"I know what you’re doing. There’s no way you’re running away. Nobody’s going to hate you. You’re the victim in the story"
But you shake your head violently at this statement. You feel the ambulance start, the engine purring gently.
"Bullshit. If there’s a victim here, it’s Alessia. And you, because you should never have had to go through this. And Lia and Manu, who certainly freaked out too. And Alessia's family, god can you imagine their fear? It’s my fault that all this happened."
"No. It’s Helena’s fault."
You hate to hear Leah say that name and she knows it perfectly. If the nickname she had chosen was a little to dismiss the situation, he was nonetheless innocent. It was mostly to stop hearing that name that makes you nauseous.
"Everybody’s gonna know. Everybody’s gonna know and hate me" you say in a low voice.
"Nobody’s gonna hate you god Y/N" sighs Leah pushing you to sit next to you on the bed. "The only thing that’s gonna happen is that people who know about you will be worried about you because you’re important to their lives. Because they care about you. Because they love you."
You remain silent, carefully avoiding Leah’s gaze. You cannot imagine that she could be right to be completely honest, something terrible could have happened to Alessia for example. And if Leah had been with you, you wouldn’t even imagine what might have happened. The very idea terrifies you.
"I can’t let her get close to you" you end up answering.
"She can’t do it anymore. After what happened tonight, even if you decide for stupid reasons not to press charges, Alessia will."
Leah’s tone is a little abrupt and you can’t decently blame her for being a little bit angry. Alessia is one of your best friends, but you know that Leah and her are also very close. So you remain silent, letting yourself move as the road moves. You feel Leah’s gaze on you, but yours is stubbornly fixed on your hands.
"Hey"
Leah’s voice sounds again after a few minutes and surprises you in your thoughts. Forgetting your resolve until now, you mechanically turn your gaze on her.
"Believe it or not, you matter to a lot of people here"
You sigh softly and look away again, putting your eyes back on the landscape that passes by the small rear window of the ambulance.
"I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone. Especially not for people I love"
"There won’t be any more problems. She won’t make it this time."
Leah seems so confident and determined that you finally believe it a little. But Helena always seemed so untouchable that you still have a little trouble realizing that it’s possible. Except for Ingrid, no one ever suspected what she was doing to you. Leah knows now and you’ll probably have a lot of questions to ask her about how they found you.
"Hey" whispers Leah again.
You again silently raise your gaze on her and you note with surprise that it has softened a little since earlier.
"I do. I love you, I care for you and you mean the world to me"
You’re back in tears. Leah puts an arm around you and you let yourself go against her this time, unable to resist any longer the comfort that you know she is able to provide you.
"And I’ll tell you until you finally believe it, every day if you have to. Until you get sick of me."
"Never" you mumble, not really knowing if she heard you.
Plot twist: She heard you.
When you arrive at the hospital, you stubbornly refuse additional tests, repeating again and again that you are fine. You don’t even have a concussion as a result of the shock you received, which made you lose consciousness. You have a good bump, though, and some bruises. But you’re doing pretty well.
The most difficult moment is undoubtedly the interrogation of the police to whom you had to tell everything from A to Z. Despite your supplications, Leah was not allowed to stay with you and this obviously made things much more complicated to live or to relive.
The second moment was the call to your parents, informed by the justice of what had happened to you. To them too, you had to tell them some things but you silenced the worst things undoubtedly. They’ll probably resent you for a while for hiding such things from them, but not to the point of not wanting to talk to you. You had to stop your mother from jumping on the first plane to meet you.
Fortunately, the judicial inquiry and everything around it will be kept silent at your request and the general public will not learn what happened to you in the past and in recent days. The official story is that you and Alessia stumbled upon a group of particularly aggressive burglars. That’s quite plausible.
To get you home, Leah had to go home to pick up a car since she followed you here with the ambulance. After making sure you were okay, she finally left the hospital and you took the opportunity to call Ingrid, informed by your parents. You should also ask them not to say anything. For Ingrid, you know that you have no risk of this happening.
You just hung up with her when someone gently knocks on the door of your room and you look up at the door when you allow the person to enter. Your heart tightens a little when seeing that it's Alessia. She looks at you cautiously and on your side you don't dare to sketch the slightest movement, persuaded that she's terribly angry with you. And if it’s not her, it’ll probably be her family.
"Can I come in?" she asks you, almost timidly.
You silently nod for any answer. You watch her gently close the door behind her, looking in her behavior for the slightest sign of a potential dispute or reproach. Your eyes glide over herface, hands and body in search of wounds, but you find nothing.
If Leah saw you, she’d probably call you a fool.
"How are you feeling?"
Her question makes you blink and you feel a little stupid for not having asked it first. So you bite your lip briefly before returning it to her, without having replied.
"What about you?"
"I'm okay. I only have one bump."
You cross her eyes and you can easily detect the attention with which she looks at you.
"I'm -"
"Leah told me you expect me to yell at you or resent you. But it’s not what I think Y/N. It’s not your fault."
You sigh softly and shake your head negatively. You want people to stop telling you that, because you know that’s the case. You never should have gone back to her house that night, she never would have come back.
"Listen" continues Alessia as she sits on your bed "I know what you think but let me tell you what I think. It wasn’t very smart of you to go back to her house in Oslo, I agree with you, but at least now we know where she is and what she’s doing. She can’t hurt anyone anymore. She can never come back for you or seek to harm you in any way. You can feel safe now, because you are."
It’s hard to remain insensitive to such a speech, but you can’t find the words to answer Alessia. The blonde doesn't seem to hold it against you once again, since she addresses you a new smile.
"And for what it’s worth, you’re still my sis. And I love you."
Despite yourself, you can’t hold a little laugh and you reach out to her hoping to receive a hug. Alessia isn't begging to offer you one, almost crushing you in her arms.
"I’m so glad you’re okay" you whisper, briefly tightening your arms around her. "And thank you."
"What for?"
"Being you. To forgive me, to be there again and again."
"Again and again" she repeats before letting you go, smiling. "Now put on your shoes and jacket, Leah is waiting for us downstairs. Let's go to her before she accuse me to molesting you again."
********
There are finally only a few people at Arsenal who are aware of what really happened and it suits you very well. In addition to Leah, Alessia, Lia and Manu, you suffered the suspicious look of Katie who looked at you at length during your story. She didn’t ask any specific questions, but just told you that if you needed any help from the Irish mafia, she had contacts. You know that this is certainly not true (well, you hope) but you appreciate the message behind this statement.
You violently refused to rest for the next games, just like Alessia. You also asked Jonas to treat you as he would normally, according to your abilities of the moment and what you do during training. That puts you in the starting players for the final game for the England Cup, West Ham. And this time, you are both on the pitch against Alina and Jordan, who are also both lined up from the start of the game.
The players of the opposing team are not yet present in the corridor when you arrive and you imagine that it's for this reason that Leah lets herself grab your fingers with hers. This draws your questioning gaze to her and she simply smiles at you. You feel that she is trying not to choke you with her worry about what happened with Helena, but you appreciate her constant presence at your side. Since you are only between you and the others are discussing everything and nothing, you take the opportunity to let yourself go a little more against her.
"Stressed?" You ask Leah when she drops your fingers to put her arm around your waist.
"A little more than usual" confesses the blonde in a low voice.
"You will be exceptional, as always"
Leah pinches your ribs smiling maliciously, your little cry of surprise making turn almost all of your teammates. Some people laugh when they see you, and you chase Leah’s hand away by hitting her. Seeing that she is about to continue your hand game, Lia pretends to intervene between you smiling.
"That’s enough, behave yourself"
That’s when the West Ham players begin to arrive at your side and you let Leah spin you aroung by holding you by the shoulders to face the exit. That doesn’t stop you from taking one last amused look at her before focusing on the game. Well it was until Leah kiss your jaw.
Your face is impassive when you shake hands with Jordan and then with Alina. You feel a lot better in your shoes than the last time it happened and it really makes you happy.
You find yourself in front of the field, attacking, alongside Alessia. Leah is in the back with Katie and with Caitlin, Lia in midfield, Beth and Viv, it has become a bit of your basic structure. It works very well like that and Jonas probably didn't want to take risks and try last minute strategies. Maybe he keeps a card in his sleeve for the second half if something weird happens.
But it doesn’t happen. Alessia manages to score a goal in the twelfth minute and you put another one in the twenty-third. Katie scores the third on a free kick just before half-time and you have to hold back from jumping into the locker room. Jonas urges you to stay focused for the second half, reminding you that if you managed to score three in forty-five minutes, West Ham is quite capable of doing so as well. So it’s just as focused that you go back into the field, ready to fight.
You don’t know what instructions the coach gave to the West Ham players, but there is no doubt that he asked them to press you as high as possible on the court. During corners or free kicks it's suddenly Alina who is supposed to take you, which isn't necessarily to your liking. You suddenly push her hands back when she puts them on you several times, ending up attracting the attention of the referee who comes to ask you to calm down a little.
West Ham actually manages to score a goal soon after, but you score a second a few minutes later. And Kyra, back for Beth at halftime, seals your easy win just before the end of the game.
When you lift the cup, you can’t help but look at the joy on Leah’s face and then on your teammates. Your friends. No matter how much you think about it, you don’t remember being as happy in your life as you are at that moment.
You smile at Leah when she crosses your eyes, mimicking a silent "I love you" with your lips, to which she responds by sending you a kiss.
********
"Leah, where are we going?" you ask, laughing softly, the blonde making you walk with both hands on your eyes.
It almost makes you stumble several times, but Leah watches over you carefully and catches up with you every time.
"We’re almost there" the blonde promises.
And indeed, a few seconds later she releases your eyes, taking the time to put in front of you before resuming the speech.
"Don’t open your eyes yet" Leah said, taking your face in her hands "First of all, I want you to know that there is no obligation to anything. That it won’t change anything between us no matter what you say. And that I love you"
"You’re scaring me, Lee." You mumble, frown.
"You don’t need it" Leah smiles.
She puts a tender kiss on your lips before releasing you and stepping back a few steps.
"You can open your eyes now"
You comply and blink several times to recover to the ambient light. Leah dragged you here after training, you’re at St-Albans not far from the training center, but not far from where her parents live too. You know that Caitlin and Katie, Kyra and Lia lived not far from here too. The building in front of you is typically English. It's a semi-detached house whose building is protected by a barrier and various security. Some work has certainly been done recently because everything seems particularly clear.
"What are we doing here?" you ask while frowning.
Leah is scratching her throat, apparently a little stressed. The way she swings from her toes to her heels tells you how nervous she is.
"Move in with me. We practically live together already and I want to wake up with you every day. I want to fall asleep with you and be able to moan because Raven is clawing on my couch while that damn cat has a brand new cat tree. I want to be able to take care of you and protect you every day. I know it’s a big step, but I love you and I want to make my life with you. Say yes, please?"
"Of course, yes" you answer with a smile.
Truth is, she already had you in the first sentence, but hearing that pretty statement doesn’t hurt. A big smile appears on Leah’s face as she hurries to put her hands around your waist to lift you off the floor and offer you a hug. You can’t help but laugh and put your arms around her neck.
After a few kisses, Leah shows you around the house, pointing out that you have the right to refuse the place if it doesn't suit you. But it seems to be perfect. An underground garage, the ground floor is reserved for the kitchen, the open dining room and the living room which gives access to the large garden behind the house. There is also a bathroom. Upstairs, there is what Leah proposes to transform into your ensuite bedroom, a guest room, another bathroom and a room that she proposes to transform into your studio provided that you leave her a small corner to install her piano and desk.
"What do you think?" Leah anxiously asks as you walk down to the living room.
"I love it" you answer honestly with a big smile on your face.
Leah smiles and seems to relax when she hears your answer. She puts her hands on your hips when you snuggle up against her and put your lips on her cheek and neck.
"I’m surprised you chose a semi-detached house" you admit however between two kisses.
"Oh, the neighbor looks nice, I don’t think you’ll have any trouble getting along" smiled Leah, sliding her finger under your chin to put a kiss on your lips. "Come, I’ll introduce you"
She grabs your hand and brings you out of the house to go into the house attached to yours. Both have been redone recently and you appreciate the light color of the front and the orange cobblestones on the outside, giving a small impression of southern Europe despite being in St-Albans.
Leah knocks at the door and you stand slightly behind her, still clinging to her hand. But your curiosity gives way to surprise when the door opens to an Alessia Russo and her famous smile.
"What are you doing here?" you ask, confused. "Are you dating the neighbor?"
"No" laughs Alessia while Leah next to you laughs too. "I’m the neighbor"
It takes you a few seconds to figure out what that means. You look in turn at Leah, who has meanwhile entered the house to greet Alessia’s brother whom you had not yet noticed, and Alessia who continues to smile.
"Are you moving here?"
"I think. This house is buzzing and apparently the neighbors won’t be too annoying"
You just smile while Luca confirms by mentioning all the positive things he found in the house. You quickly understand that Alessia called on him to get a second look and make sure everything was in order, but you trust Leah completely in that regard. Instead of listening, you jump into Alessia’s arms and finally realize what it means. You would have been sad not to have her next to you to be completely honest, but this is even better than what you imagined.
"You didn’t expect to get rid of me like that?" whispers Alessia, smiling as you hugged.
You roll your eyes and just tighten her against you with your arms around her neck, before Leah joins your embrace, squeezing you both against her.
"You whisper sweet words to my girlfriend besides molesting her now, Russo?"
#woso x reader#woso imagine#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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Hey, what's up, hello, I'm Xel, I truly have Donald Duck levels of bad luck and yet I do not have the rage button that makes things work out if I throw a tantrum, which feels like yet another failure of media, what is the deal with this.
The deal is:
Temp job had to let me go instead of make me permanent because the economy scared the 5 people over 65 in that department out of feeling safe enough to retire
None of my applications are getting interviews and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Donald Duck tantrum did not assist me in this realm.
Holy shit seasonal depression I can't get out of bed like.... A Lot.
I have a convention to go to in February where I am selling art in the art show and where I will see many of my friends the only time per year.
I'm scared of everything haha wow 😬
I'm am an artist who just feels too upset and worried to art
I'm having trouble getting everything together and maybe will feel better with some level of stability? I need to do a lot of paperwork. It is proving hard. I have the Tumblr popular suspicions about my level of neurodivergance. (Fun story: I told members of my my family that I have thought in the last two years especially that I might have ADHD or Autism or something, and my cousin said, "Oh, honey *just the last two years?*" Obliterated.)
My abusive dad recently joined a cult and my grandmother thinks he'll try to contact me after 15 years and I'm fucking scared of him and that is Affecting Me in A Way boy howdy.
I do not have the money to pay rent even a little bit! I'm trying to get January and February taken care of maybe? So I can try to exist for this period of time and maybe not have a breakdown or get evicted or something?
Some real not awesome medical junk happening also because why not.
SO, I'm doing Tumblr's favorite thing and being a starving queer artist with brain worms who needs help. If you are interested in helping me out and making a donation to the "Why don't my Donald Duck tantrums solve my problems" fund, I would be Really Grateful.
I am on Ko-Fi, which is really just a funnel to PayPal, over here.
$2500 would keep me on solid ground. I'll try to keep a tally here in a read more along with a expenses tally if that would help you feel better about me! I know I've had to ask frequently in the last few months, so I understand thinking I'm full of it.
I have a commission to finish currently and a few buttons and things that need to be mailed. You could also ask for button and commission, but I am doing prep work for my part of the art show in mid February, so I'm not available until after then for that!
My grandfather used to do a Donald Duck impression that was really good and it convinced me that either he WAS Donald Duck or that old people all knew how to do this because they all talked like this in the era Donald Duck was from.
Here is Ko-Fi again. If there's something you'd like to see me post or unearth in atonement, let me know. If you'd like other places to aim your dead green American presidents, I can give you that too.
Thanks for reading and/or reblogging! Tell me how Donald Duck's freakouts impacted you. Take care of yourselves!
Rent is $710/month, so 1420 is January and February.
65 for the internet, 130
65 for car insurance, 130
65 for electric unless I can get the assistance plan up again, same 130
250 to survive at the con maybe?
Also just like food until i can get the foodstamps stuff sorted??
Gas???
Anyway, that's an idea of what and why, if that is helpful.
Jan 8:
We are at $460!
Thanks!
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Double the Love | Part Two
Double the Love masterlist
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x female civilian!OC
Word Count: 2.9k
Series warnings (may change between chapters): 18+, Minors DNI, angst, mentions of death, mentions of violence, mentions of poor mental health, injury description, eventual explicit sexual content, polyamory, M/M/F, FMC is bad at feelings
They finally meet
One year later...
The message comes out of the blue. The first time I've heard from John Price in a whole month, and it's a fucking text message.
I'm watching TV, curled up in a ball on the sofa next to my best friend and flatmate Winslow "Winnie" Sloane, when my phone pings. I think about ignoring it until I catch a glimpse of his name. It's an unspoken rule between the two of us - we never knowingly ignore one another. Obviously, he can't reply to my messages when he's on ops, but that's different - that's not wilful.
I pick it up without hesitation and take a look.
JOHN PRICE: Tali, I need a favour. It's urgent.
My heart drops.
TALIA KELLER: What's happened?
JOHN PRICE: Call me. I'll explain.
So, I do. I tap Winnie on the shoulder and rise up to my feet, shuffling off to my bedroom so I don't disturb her episode of Slow Horses. When I'm safely shut behind my bedroom door, I tap on the call button, dreading what's awaiting me on the other end of the line.
"John?" my voice is full of nerves as the call connects, echoing slightly around the room.
"God am I glad to hear your voice, Tali." He sounds haggard, his own voice tired and hollow. It's not hard to tell that he's fresh off an op. I can already imagine how drained he looks; can picture the dark circles shading his eyes and his scruffy too-long beard.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly brave, I try to talk him into leaving the service. I think about Alex and his death, and I hate that John still knowingly puts himself in harm's way day and night. He's the only serving soldier I know now - I never met any of the other members of their unit - and I desperately wish that he'll retire soon.
"How are you?" he follows up, voice puncturing through my thoughts.
"I'm okay. At home with Winnie. How's Marcella?"
A soft sigh leaves him at the mention of his long-suffering wife. I wonder if he's even had a chance to see her yet. "Last we spoke, she was perfectly fine. Misses you though. You need to come over for dinner soon."
An easy laugh leaves me. Winnie and John aren't the only ones who've been supporting me since Alex died. John's wife Marcie has been there every step of the way too, helping me through rough patches whenever John is away on deployments. And Winnie's never been anything but kind and understanding - it's not in her nature to be anything but.
"Soon," I mumble in agreement. There's a sound on the other end of the line in the background, a murmured snippet of conversation and a drawn-out groan followed by a soft shut up. "Not alone?"
"Got some company," John admits. "Speaking of... does Winslow still have that big trip coming up?"
My palms slick with sweat. Yes. Yes, she does.
Ever since her big promotion six months ago, Winnie's job now involves a lot more travelling than it used to. And - because of that - in three days' time, she'll be in France, starting a month-long assignment helping a struggling marketing firm in Paris.
And I'll be alone.
It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but I've always had this thing about being alone. It's part of the reason why I live with Winnie; why I've been seeing a therapist since I was sixteen; why I struggle to have normalcy. My current therapist thinks that it's a form of abandonment issues from being orphaned at a young age, which has led to my inability to maintain stable relationships. The therapist before that thought it was something completely different; that I seek to form attachments but wilfully don't, self-sabotaging and creating my own permanent sense of loneliness. But, my point is, I don't react anywhere near as badly to it as I did when I was a kid.
I still remember when I was fifteen and Alex left for his first deployment. I was still living with our maternal grandmother at the time, and I completely shut down. I holed up in my room for almost a whole month, refusing to speak and barely eating or sleeping. I could hardly function for worrying about him...
"Tali?"
I snap out of it. "Sorry. Yes."
"Could you... could I possibly bring some of my guys to your apartment? Just while Winslow is away. Our safehouse in the area has been taken out of action and we need somewhere to lay low for a little while."
My guys. The unit.
"What about your place?" My brow furrows. Surely Marcella wouldn't mind a few guests. She's calm and motherly and takes great pride in hosting. I'm sure she'd be in the element with them.
John clears his throat awkwardly. "Not an option. They don't know."
Ah. The brave, almighty Captain John Price still hasn't told his team that he's married. Typical.
I roll my eyes. "Okay. I hope you know that we're coming back to that later." A beat of silence passes. "How many people are we talking, John? Because it's a two-bedroom flat in London. It's spacious but it's hardly the Tardis."
He snorts out a dry laugh. "Only two. One of the lads is local so he's got family around here he can stay with. And there's some stuff I've got to get done, so I'll be hopping from base to base."
"Where are they going to sleep? Are they going to mind sharing a bed? Because the sofa is comfortable, but I know how you army guys are built..."
There's an awkward silence on Price's end as I hear him shifting around. It takes me a second to realise that he's covering his mouth against his phone's microphone. "Yeah... that's, um- that won't be an issue for them."
Oh.
Oh.
"Okay. Cool. I'll take them."
I wince. Why the fuck did I say cool? Of all the ways that I could respond and I choose that. Way to go, Tali.
"Are you sure that you're okay with this, Tali?" Price asks, his voice soft and encouraging. "If you aren’t, we can find something else-"
"Price, I'll take them in. Winnie leaves on Tuesday morning, so just have them swing by around then, okay?"
Favour asked and questions answered, we say our goodbyes and hang up. It takes me a second to gather my thoughts before padding back into the living room. The moment I step through the hallway, Winslow pauses the TV, angling her head up to look at me. A cloud of black curly hair frames her beautiful face, dark eyes wide and expectant. "Is John back home?"
I wince, getting ready to launch into an explanation. "Not quite."
Tuesday morning rolls around all too soon. By 9 a.m. I'm sitting cross-legged on the foot of Winnie's bed as she packs up her stuff. I can't help but feel a pang of anxiety strike deep in my chest.
"Are you sure that you're gonna be okay?" Winnie asks, almost like she can read my mind.
I meet her dark, knowing gaze and offer her a smile. "Winnie, I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about me. If I need anything, I can call Marcella."
She smiles, running a hand through her freshly braided hair. The pearls attached to some strands clink together softly. "Okay. Good. But you've got to call me once a week at least, okay?" Before I can reassure her that I will, she adds, "And you've got to text me every day."
"Winslow, I will. Stop stressing, please."
A moment of easy silence passes before the laughter starts. Both of us crack up, her eyes finding mine and holding my gaze.
Once we've both calmed down, I take a closer look at her cases. She's packing almost everything she owns. It's a sight that worries me, so I look away, deciding to look out of the window instead.
A loud, firm knock on the front door saves me just as Winnie is packing up her last suitcase. We exchange a look before I'm up on my feet, scrambling to answer it. I can't lie, I'm curious to meet John's friends. But I'm also sad. Because there's a strong possibility that they knew Alex too. That they were with him when he died.
When I open the door, there's two men standing in the hallway, just like John said there would be. The first has short brown hair styled into a mohawk, the sides cropped close to his scalp but the top and back left longer. He's broad-chested, muscular too; built like a grizzly bear. And, even though his complexion has a slightly pallid hue under the overhead lights, it's not hard to imagine that he's usually quite tan.
And then there's his friend. Standing next to the grizzly bear and at least half-a-foot taller than him, he has the expression of a man who wants to break me apart with his bare hands just to see what's inside. I fight to meet his intense gaze, taking catalogue of the features visible under the dark hood of his black sweatshirt. His eyes are hazel - I think - skin tanned from what I'd assume are long hours spent out in the sun, and I can't quite make out his hair colour. He's equally if not more muscular than his friendlier-looking counterpart. My eyes trail down to his mouth, drawn to the scar bisecting his bottom lip. It doesn't draw away from his attractiveness though; just adds to the sense of rugged charm that I'm getting from him.
Not that it should matter. It doesn't. They're here because they need help; not because they want to be ogled by a complete stranger.
"Are you John's friends?" I ask stupidly, as if they could be anyone else.
The grizzly bear nods. "Aye. And you are?"
Scottish. Nice. I've always loved the accent, but his is even better. There's a humour there; something uniquely his. It makes me want to keep him talking just so I can hear it more.
"Tali." I step back so that they can come inside. They hesitate for a second before following me into the living room, the tall, silent one closing the door behind him with a soft click. "Also John's friend."
The grizzly bear plops straight down onto the couch, stretching out with no hesitation and making himself at home. His arms drape over the backrest, a lazy grin forming on his lips as he watches me take a seat on my armchair. The tall one gives him a reprimanding look, hovering beside the window behind him. His light eyes are always alert; darting around the room like something's going to jump out at any second.
"You army?" he asks, expression wary. His voice is all gravel with a Manchester accent.
I offer him a small smile. "Nope." I don't think anyone could mistake me for a soldier. I'm small - short and slender - and skittish at the best of times. "So... what should I call you?"
Hazel eyes narrow at me. "Ghost."
The grizzly bear rolls his eyes dramatically, offering me a wide, disarming grin. It's blatantly obvious that he's overcompensating for him. "Callsign is Soap, but a pretty lass like you can call me Johnny."
My heart flutters.
It takes a second to remember what John had said on the phone. Sharing a bed won't be an issue for them. The awkward, implying tone he'd said it in. In other words, neither of them are meant for me.
Ghost eases away from the window to stand just behind the sofa, drawing closer to Johnny. Johnny, on the other hand, moves so that he's leaning forward, elbows braced on his knees as he cocks his head at me. "A friend of Captain Price, are ye?"
I nod softly. "Yes."
"Funny that," Ghost barks, tilting his head to one side. "He's never mentioned you." Thinly veiled suspicion drifts off of him in waves, and it makes me feel endlessly uncomfortable. His harsh gaze melts through my skin and bones, boring deep into my soul.
I shift in my seat. "He never mentioned either of you to me, so I don't think that counts for much."
Johnny lets out a loud laugh. "I think I'm gonna like ye, Tali. Not many people talk back to 'im."
It's in that moment - as I'm silently praying for the floor to open up and swallow me whole - that Winnie steps out of her room, suitcases in tow. She walks into the living room, depositing them by the front door before coming over to introduce herself, a sceptical look on her face.
She levels Ghost with an icy glare, not looking away from him as she asks me, "Everything all okay here, Tali?"
"Yeah, it's alright Winnie." I gesture to each of John's friends in turn. "Winnie, this is Johnny." He raises his hand and waves, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "And that is Ghost." I point to looming, ominous figure behind him.
"Ghost?" she repeats slowly. I nod. "Okay, well I'm leaving now. Tali, I love you and I'll miss you. Remember to call me." She bends at the waist to hug me, wrapping me up in her warm, vanilla-scented embrace. As she straightens, she glares at each of the men in turn. "And you two - don't give her any shit. If I find out you've made her feel uncomfortable even once, not even John will be able to save you. Got it?"
Johnny stares up at my friend, mystified. His blue eyes are bright as he nods. "Don't worry. We won't be any trouble."
Winnie turns back to face me. "Right, I've got to go or I'll miss my ride to the airport. I'll be back before you even know I'm gone, okay?"
"I know," I say, my voice soft. "I love you. Be safe and text me when you land."
With a nod, Winnie presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head then gets her last few bits together. And then she leaves. Leaving me alone with two complete strangers. Yay.
"So," I grumble, struggling against the urge to shy away from their intense gazes in the safety of my room, "do you want to see where you'll be staying?"
Later that night, the three of us gather in the living room to watch TV.
The guys didn't have much to unpack. They travelled light so I'm going to have to go shopping sometime soon to buy them some essentials; more clothes and toiletries. Definitely food too. If dinner tonight was any indication, they eat a lot.
I'm curled up in my armchair again, watching something that Johnny chose on Netflix. Every once and a while, I glance across at them. Ghost is sitting upright, legs stretched out in front of him. His legs are so long that his feet are tucked under the coffee table. And then there's Johnny. He's laying on his side on the sofa, his head resting on Ghost's muscular thighs. Every now and then, Ghost's hand runs down the length of Johnny's side, stroking him in soothing, rhythmic motions.
Looking at them, I can't help but feel a sense of longing. Jealousy that they're together and obviously quite happy. That they're comfortable enough around one another for these subconscious displays of affection.
I'll never have that. It's something that I've come to accept. I'm twenty-five now and I've never had a serious relationship. I don't even think I want one. For a period of time in my late teens, I thought that I might be aro-ace, but over time I've gathered that I do feel romantic and sexual attraction. It's just different.
The sad truth is that I don't trust anyone enough to believe that they'd stay with me. Love me. Make me feel safe enough for displays of casual affection. There would always be that looming sense of dread that they'd leave me sooner or later.
In my head, I've justified it. If I don't get into relationships, no one can leave me. Alex's death all but solidified that for me.
The rom-com Johnny picked out gets to a comedic scene - a naked beach fight - and he starts to chuckle. I join him and I swear even Ghost lets out a little snort. We're all laughing until...
"Fuck. Johnny, you're bleeding."
My heart crawls up into my throat. My eyes snap across to them, blatantly looking now. The white t-shirt Johnny is wearing is plastered to his side, a red patch seeping through the fabric, spreading across his ribs.
He sits upright, holding it with one large hand. "Ah fuck. Didn't get any on the sofa, did ah'?"
"Fuck the sofa," I splutter out in a panic. "Are you okay? Why are you bleeding? Should I call an ambulance?"
Johnny looks back at me with a quizzical expression while Ghost just sighs, standing up. He walks towards the bedrooms at an unhurried pace, stopping along the way to press a chaste kiss to Johnny's forehead, placing a loving hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, darling, I'll get the bag." Hazel eyes swing towards me, where I'm still panicking in my armchair. "His dressing just needs changing, and I'll check his stitches. He's fine, love."
I ease back into my seat, heat rushing to my cheeks. "Oh."
Ghost leaves the room, heading into my bedroom to get the aforementioned bag. I've decided to give them my room for the duration of their stay because it has an en-suite. It eliminates the risk of me accidentally stumbling in on them in the shared bathroom that doesn't have a working lock. Overall, it's safer for everyone that I'm staying in Winnie's room.
Feeling more than a little foolish for my outburst, I offer Johnny a weak smile. "I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight, Johnny."
"Ye sure?" he asks, blue eyes tinted with a hint of... something. Maybe disappointment? I don't know. "The movie isn't over yet. You seemed like ye were enjoying it." His brow furrows. "We could watch something else."
"I'm sure. It's fine; I'm just tired. We can watch another movie tomorrow night if you want."
His eyes light up at that. "Yeah, sounds perfect."
I'm back in Winnie's room by the time Ghost leaves mine. I can hear his footsteps padding down the hallway. Hear their muffled conversation and muted laughter.
As I fall asleep, I can't help but feel a different kind of loneliness. And, as I drift off, my heart aches for what Ghost and Johnny have.
a/n: guess who's back!
so Tali has finally met the boys :) sorry if this part is a little short, just wanted to get something out in time for christmas for you guys
- merry christmas and take care of yourselves, lapetitelapin
#cod#fanfic#ghoap x reader#ghost x reader x soap#simon “ghost” riley x reader#soap x reader#callofduty#cod fanfic#cod x reader#ghost x reader#female reader#romance#angst#poly#johnny mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny x reader x simon#double the love
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Saw some NICE Reverse Robins Art? And just? Eldest Blood Son Damian Wayne? All the gorgeous of BOTH his parents? A man who never felt his position threatened by these younger children? But still had that oldest sibling "they're talking my Father's love and attention AWAY from me" drama? Grew up. Lost his Tim.
Was BETRAYED by his maternal family, when they brought Tim BACK, mad from the pits, and never told him. The whole alt-timeline. Edgy Red Hood Tim. Red Bird Jason. Robin Dick.
But!
Multiverse shenanigans? Who is THIS?! It's a Cannon-adjacent Tim! He's HEROICALLY sacrificed himself by tackling the megalomaniac of the decade, into the Multiverse Destroying Portal BEFORE it could fully charge! While he, said maniac, held the control panel. Thereby shutting it down.
There had been no other way.
He had expected to be ripped to molecules.
But here he is, on the sort of Shitty Roofing that can only be Gotham infrastructure. So? No time to tremble in the face of near oblivion. Gotta beat this fuckers ass so hard his ANCESTORS rethink their life choices. Tim drags himself up. And makes Gotham proud.
Which is how Darkwing (Damian's edgy self chosen name he's now stuck with until his Father retires.) Finds him. Half dead and beating up a clear Supervillian, wearing Bat gear. Good enough for Damian. He'll get answers AFTER the scoundrel in imprisoned.
Only Tim passes the fuck out.
Wakes up, in the cave, to his own? But slightly different? Face. Two things jump out. One, that God awful skunk strip Jason was permanently stuck with after the pits (that he refuses to admit, is kinda sexy). And Two, either this Tim started Testosterone WAY earlier, somehow managed to keep to all his scheduled shots dispite Superhero Craziness, OR... this lucky bastard is Cis Gendered.
Unless maybe not?
Hey, Me, pronouns. (He/Him.) Nevermind! Bastard it is! Fuck you! Why do YOU get all the luck? I have to take shots! (I DIED.) OH, boo hoo, WE'VE ALL DIED! Ya'aint special! *Tim on Tim verbal violence intensifies*
No one can tell if... they are? Bonding? Or hate each other. Someone should stop them. Unfortunately, it has to be Bruce. Which is how they learn: No, actually, he DOESN'T know what universe he's from. It's never come up before and they don't have the technology. He expected to die.
It was a one way trip.
Now they have a New/Extra Tim. There are Tim Twins. One is An Angry Bad Boy. And the other? Strangely sexy. The competence kinks are developing by the minute.
Worse, for Damian? This Tim seems... almost? Baffled? By his politeness? Seems to expect violence and aggression? And become utterly FACINATED by him, once he realizes its not coming. Damian has never been the center of someone's attention like this. Had someone hang off his every word like this. It's breeding... Thoughts he shouldn't be having.
And RR!Tim is getting jealous. That's HIM. He should be interested in HIM. THEIR shared lives. Not Mr "ooooh look at meee, the Perfect Soooon". Other Tim should be... be like his TWIN. His BROTHER. HIS other half. His!
Bruce? Hates that he sees what could have been, in this Tim. Calm and collected. Not raging and destructive. A good Detective. A perfect Robin. Dedicated to The Mission. Not the unhealing, raging, wounded animal his son has become. He wants to protect this Tim. Hold him close. Cherish him. But he also loves HIS Tim. He feels so greedy.
And Jason? It's like the Red Bird he looked up to is BACK. Not the raging monster that swings between hating him and ignoring him. Even better! This Tim looks at HIM like he's some sort of miracle! So he plays up the spunky, the cute. Crawls into his lap and chats. Gets to hang out. Be the center of his world. He... he's in LOVE. Already formulating a long term plan. Gonna marry this Tim and have a house and kids and a dog! It'll be perfect.
Baby Dick? Robin? Was EXHAUSTED trying to hold everything together. Trying to pretend he didn't notice the tensions. Play the performance of "cute baby brother" to distract and defuse. Then this Timmy came! And FIXED everything. Took Dicks job like he'd been doing it for YEARS. Smiled so pretty and perfect. Told him he didn't have to pretend.
Like he KNEW Dick. Better then anyone else.
So maybe Dick goes... a little crazy. Follows him. Smells his stuff. Wants to crawl into his bed and DO things. But! He's not the only one! Everyone is going crazy! Timmy does that to people, he's decided. But it's okay. They're TIM'S people. So it's okay if they go crazy for him.
And really? It's just a matter of who's control breaks first. Because Tim adores them but doesn't think they'd be interested. Tim is situationally dense as bricks. They love him anyway.
-🐼🐼🐼
all of them intent on this tim not realizing the tim of their universe will never let them get dibs 😩
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sweet dreams
☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️
REQUEST
OMG CAN I REQUEST JYPAPI X READER WHERE THEYRE SO IN LOVE AND ITS ALL KISSY AND CUTE
genre: fluff, slight angst, hurt comfort (jyp rec.)
pov: 2nd person
description: sometimes, even the bravest man gets down
pairing: JYP x fem!reader
warnings: none
word count: 660
©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
"Oppa, what's wrong?" You question as your boyfriend walks in through the door of your shared apartment.
His head hangs low, dejected as he kicks off his shoes and joins you on the couch.
"Nothing," He mumbles as he throws his head back on the couch.
In all your years of dating him, you've never seen his confidence so low. Not even after his performance at the Blue Dragon Film Awards and everyone was clowning him. Not after his 2019 MAMA performance. And especially not after his TikTok challenges had gone viral for all the wrong reasons.
"Jinnie Oppa, I don't like it when you lie to me. Something's bothering you." You drop your phone beside you on the couch and begin comforting him by stroking his arm.
He rolls his head towards you, finally making eye contact with you for the first time since he came home. There's a twinkle in his eye that you've grown to love. Hell, it was the first thing you noticed about him. No matter how happy he is, his eyes will always sparkle like a diamond in the sky. He's not smiling now but somehow, you know that you're the reason why his diamonds are shining so bright.
He mirrors your position. His elbow rests on the back of the couch while his head sits in his hand. One leg is on the floor while the other one is tucked under him. Your knees touching. It's a simple touch, not even your skin is touching, yet it's enough to make your heart race.
"It's just," He lets out a deep sigh before sitting up properly. "I was at the company earlier and overheard some of the kids talking about me. Stray Kids specifically had a lot to say...That Seungmin...I know I play it off as some cool hyung who can tolerate what my idols do or say, but I'm still a person after all. It hurts."
"Oh, jagi, I'm sorry," You take the hand that's resting on his lap with your free hand, your thumb gently stroking the back of his hand. "My generation is just a bit different...we bully people out of love. They just love you so much, I'm pretty sure Seungmin loves you the most, the way he talks about you nonstop. Just look at how Stray Kids treat Chan. You know they don't hate him."
"I know but it's different. I'm their boss. Maybe they're right, I should retire..." His bottom lip sticks out slightly as he lets out a little huff of air from his nose.
"Ah, Jin-Young oppa, you're not that old. You're not even pushing 60 yet. And, the age system changed so you're actually younger than you were last year. I even heard they're saying that 52 is the new 30." You squeeze his hand, reassuring him.
"You're just saying that to make me feel better."
You quickly drop his hand and sit up a bit straighter. Before he can question your reaction, you position your other leg on the couch so you're sitting on both of them and cup his face in your hands. You stare deeply into his dark brown orbs. He furrows his eyebrows at you as you stroke his cheeks with the pads of your thumbs. His mouth slightly parts, ready to question you but you swiftly shut him up by crashing your lips into his. His lips are soft, you can feel the remnants of his chapstick transferring onto your lip. Strawberry, your favorite. You pull away slowly, still cupping his face. His eyes slowly flutter open, his eyes red as a single tear drop rolls down his face. "Park Jin-Young oppa, you shouldn't worry about what everyone else has to say about you. I love you and that's all that should matter."
"God, I love you Y/n, I don't deserve you," He whispers, his voice cracking as more tears form in his eyes.
"I love you too JYP oppa,"
—
Buy me a coffee?
—
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I keep thinking about a Roger who got his illness cured and raising Ace with Rouge and being retired after faking his death. Ace who is suddenly two years older than normal as they settle in Foosha in the East Blue with some mountain bandits nearby. They're out sailing when they stumble upon the Germa fleet and Sanji escaping to the orbit when Rouge goes and gets him before he makes it to the Orbit and gets back to the small ship they sail and twelve year old Ace is looking at the kid as Roger, who had babies on his ships, frowns at the shape the kid is in.
So they go back to Foosha and get Sanji situated and Ace really doesn't like the new kid taking up his parents time. He's acting like a toddler when a new baby comes home basically. Ace is pissed despite the kid having a lot of scars and Ace spends a lot of time in the jungle. So he spends even more time there. He eventually meets Luffy and Sabo and decides to go tell his parents he's living in the jungle since they have a new kid and he found brothers he actually likes.
Roger and Rouge know how hard it can be going from an only child situation to suddenly having a sibling but like, fuck Ace, look at the kid who is hiding? Also where did you find more more kids? Can we meet them? It's fine if you want to live in the jungle with them, but you all can also live here? It's fine?
Sanji feels bad and avoids Ace who is still absolutely a mama's boy so he spends most of his time with Roger. Ace brings home Sabo and Luffy to meet them but Sanji just stays in the other room. Turns out they're spending the night so Sanji climbs to the roof to sleep, it's nice to sleep outside in Foosha. Roger climbs up and sits with him and explains that sometimes forcing a situation doesn't work; a lesson he's learned the hard way. Roger pets Sanji's hair and holds him and apologizes for not knowing what to do but he knows in time Ace will come around. Sanji shrugs and says it's okay, he's used to not being wanted.
Roger feels his heart breaking because he knows the ways he's failed Shanks and Buggy. Knows how he fucked them up and nothing he'll do will ever fix it. Sanji who is small and has a permanent red ring around his neck that he and Rouge put lotion on every day. Sanji who is smaller than he should be and quieter and so well behaved unlike the noble boy Ace brought home. Not that Roger has room to judge because the kid spoke viciously about the government and nobles so it made sense and Luffy only talked about Shanks with them.
Garp shows up when Ace is out with Sabo and Luffy. Sanji is looking at the marine as Roger holds him and Rouge laughs and talks smack about Roger with Garp(we all know Rouge was above him okay? They know it too) and introduces him to Sanji. Garp asks them to keep an eye on Luffy and raise him for him and Dragon, which they agree to easily after everything he has done for them. Garp asks Sanji what he wants to be when he grows up and Sanji says a chef on the All Blue. Garp nods and says the Marines would be a good way to get there and Roger kicks the man out of his house and says to stop spreading propaganda. ASL, who happen to be walking up, cheer until Luffy realizes it's his grandpa and gets a fist of love which makes Rouge chase him with her staff.
Rouge tells ASL when she's done and after Garp leaves. She explains what he asked and how they won't stop them but they are there for them if they need them. Luffy asks if they really can stay there longer and Rouge is like 'Of course, the more the merrier!' and it's like a light bulb for Ace when his mom says that because she wanted more kids, Ace remembers wanting siblings when he was younger but nothing ever came of it.
Until Sanji came along. Sanji who was thin and wiry like Luffy. So Ace tries to do better by Sanji after that. Luffy and Sabo don't get it but they go along with it and grow to accept Sanji as another brother. Sanji becomes more open and free with them and of course the three of them fight over Sanji being their cook. Roger and Rouge laugh at the antics until the terminal fires and they lose Sabo. They comfort their children and they heal in time.
Ace still sets off at seventeen and then Sanji and Luffy set off together later. Everything is the same still. Like Rouge and Roger and them keep up with the papers and they know Ace is in the White Beard fleet and they've seen poor Sanji's poster. But then Ace disappears from the news and there was a buster call on Enies Lobby so now the former King and Queen of the Pirates are setting sail as fast as they can to go see what's going on when news of Ace's execution comes out so they head there and then Roger says while they're there they should get Buggy out of Impel Down so he can meet the others. Rouge screams and asks why he didn't mention Buggy was in Impel Down and Roger yells he absolutely did and said Garp did it.
They barely make it in time to Marineford to help save their son-is that Luffy? Rouge is screaming at the top men of the marines as Ace stares at them and Roger is yelling at Luffy and Buggy. Buggy is gaping at them as Luffy runs forward yelling 'mom' and 'dad' and makes the Impel Down escape team shake their heads before running into the fight. Once it's over, Ace and Luffy both taking life threatening punches and being shipped off and most of the battle field passed out from the sheer amount of haki Roger has let out and Shanks shows up and is there to end the war and pick up Buggy.
Rouge is dragging Roger by the ear after explaining everything to his brats and apologizing but says they need to find Luffy's crew and their other son and Shanks and Buggy keep asking how many kids they have and Roger says counting Shanks and Buggy he has six, one's dead though.
Also Roger and Rouge sending the crew off at Sabaody and Roger casually asking how it was training Luffy and if he checked in on Shanks and Buggy after everything. Rayleigh keeps trying to avoid the second question but Luffy went with Boa six months before. Rouge, terrifying Rouge who is glaring at Rayleigh demanding to know why he never checked in with them when that was Roger's technically last request to him and why would he let Luffy go with Boa. Rayleigh is pale. So fucking pale he looks like he's about to pass out as he stutters about Roger not being dead and lying. Roger gives him the most unimpressed look because that still doesn't cover not checking in on their brats and the punch he gets is well deserved.
#black leg sanji#monkey d. luffy#portgas d ace#vinsmoke sanji#buggy the clown#redhaired shanks#redhair shanks#gol d. roger#gol d roger#fire fist ace#revolutionary sabo#sabo one piece#portgas d rouge#gol!sanji#gol!luffy#gol!sabo#gol!ace#gol!asl+s#asl+s#roger x rouge#rouge x roger
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Holy Shit I Just Realized Something (toh finale spoilers and Badly Structured, Massively Long Rant up ahead)
when we first meet willow in early s1, she's in the abomination track and as we all know she is Struggling. abomination magic just doesn't come as naturally to her as plant magic, which is fine, but it isn't being addressed by the school.
soon enough she gets switched over to the plant track as she wishes- i don't remember the exact details of the episode, it's been a little while, but iirc principal bump shows up after willow covers the entire inside of the school in vines and basically goes "no, i'm not punishing you, instead i'm switching you to the plant track because you're clearly more skilled at this type of magic."
which none of us really thought about, right?? maybe some of us were like "hm, that was a bit abrupt" but we didn't think too much of it because we didn't have much of an idea of bump's character yet.
not much later, it's revealed that bump himself is a part of the abomination coven. (it's not exactly Discussed but his sigil is visible in some shots, like this one.) he is bound by sigil to be restricted to abomination magic and nothing else.
one slightly less relevant detail that i find interesting is how he doesn't Look like an abomination coven member, and so he seems a lot less invested in his status as an abomination witch. now you may be thinking: ferret, that's a moot point because 1. not every magic user is going to have their preferred type of magic/coven/track whatever implemented into their design and 2. princy b wears his Principal Robes every time we see him up until the finale, so it would be difficult to implement those details into his design anyway.
now, that second point is actually, uh. Fair. but as for the first point, allow me to explain
here are two prominent abomination coven members, darius deamonne and alador blight
both of them are pretty obviously abomination coven members right off the bat. darius, being a coven head, has a Shit ton of purple in his design to indicate this (and that's not even including his hair). with alador, this is toned down, but it's still obvious by the permanent abomination goo stains on his coat (and also by the fact that he apparently doesn't wash his hands after working on the abomatons /lhj). these two are specialists, in different ways, of course, but ultimately their skills lie in abomination magic, and neither of them have expressed a wish to try other types of magic at this point.
but here's the thing. as far as i can tell, bump is Not a specialist. while he is a skilled abomination witch, we rarely see him make use of the fact except for during fight scenes- he doesn't seem very invested in it. plus, when we see him during the epilogue, he's enjoying a new hobby, which is...
...plant care, much like willow! :)
(side note i love the holes in his hat for frewin's horns)
now, of course you could interpret this as bump simply discovering a New hobby between where wad left off & the epilogue. but to me, this says that all this time he was held back from his passion for plant care for multiple reasons, for example his job as the principal of hexside definitely put a strain on him in terms of how much time he could spend doing things for himself. but now that he's retired, and the coven system has been dismantled, he can spend more time doing things that bring him joy, just like many others in the epilogue.
this means that when he saw what willow was capable of back in s1, and transferred her to the plant track, he was really saying "i see you're struggling, and i won't let you go through what i went through by forcing you to go down a path that isn't yours." and god he means so much to me for that.
anyways end of rant, if you're here reading this i sincerely congratulate you for getting this far without passing away . i am very unnormal about hieronymus bump and it shows.
(also, PLSPLSLSS reblog this if you agree i spent like an hour here sitting here typing this all up on my phone at 1am AHDKDJFJE)
#toh#the owl house#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers#toh speculation#principal bump#principal bump toh#hieronymus bump#willow park#willow toh#alador blight#alador toh#darius deamonne#darius toh#only mentioned them briefly but why not tag them as well#anyways i love bump more than i can begin to express#ferret rambles#sorry this is mostly incoherent but tbf on me its past 1am on a school night and ive been sitting here brainrotting for over an hour
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Ikea, my sweet chili fry, hello to you, how is your day going?
Last night's update found me at like 4 am or so, and so I had to go to my stupid job to do stupid manual labor, which means I am ☀️hella sleep deprived☀️
Which got me thinking
We already know Johnny boy smells like a bit too much deodorant, but what is your headcannon for other guys on that topic?
-🗞️
Hiiiiiii! Sweet chili fry? That's a new one LMAO
My day is going well, wbu?
Manual labor, you say? 👀 now I have plenty of questions about you-
Nonetheless, I've actually HC'd this with my lovely @mothymunson and we came up with this
The 141 Boys' scents
Johnny MacTavish, as we've established, wears so much deodorant. If not Axe (aka Lynx In the UK) then some other one that makes people go 'Bloody Hell, did you shower in that?'. Like very... high school P.E. locker room vibes.
John Price wears some strong ass dad cologne, and his face always smells like aftershave and shaving cream (when it doesn't smell like cigars and whiskey).
Simon Riley wears nothing. He washes himself with unscented soap and unscented shampoo. (Apparently, it's a military thing, that a lot of PTSD vets don't like to have a 'scent' so that they don't attract attention to themselves for fear of being 'spotted' bc their mind is permanently on high alert even when they retire).
Kyle Garrick smells like coconut oil and lavender, the lavender coming from his clothes bc he has worn the same fabric softener for years thanks to his grandma.
#asks#🗞️ anon#it's a match! fic#headcanon#cod headcanons#141 headcanons#simon ghost riley#simon riley headcanons#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish headcanons#captain john price#john price headcanons#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick headcanons
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Slashers reaction to the nurse leaving? Like up a quits. Could be either they got fired or quit on their own? Maybe higher ups didn’t like how close they were with the slashers. I’m curious with how that would play out honestly-
It was a sunny Monday afternoon that you received your red letter.
You perfectly knew what it meant and didn't need to open it to know that your time was up..You let out a shaky sigh—forcing yourself not to cry. Liam was made aware of your imminent "end of contract" and knew there was nothing he could do about it. He could only wish you a happy retirement and provide you a car.
It was coming from upstairs and neither of you could disobey. You were sad to hear about the decision but—as agreed in your contract—you had to go. No member of staff was to stay in the hospital after receiving their red letter, and that included you.
You forced yourself to smile during dinner—the last one you would ever have with the slashers. But then, you asked Five and Michael to stay behind. They looked at each other with a slight frown—wondering if they had done something wrong. The other slashers left and when you were sure they wouldn't hear you—your smile fell. You took a deep inhale and turned towards Five and Michael who were now looking at you with worry in their eyes.
"Nurse Y/N...What's going on ?", Five asked and you held back your tears as you disclosed.
"Five. Michael. I...was asked to leave. Permanently. I'm leaving tomorrow morning and...I'll need you to keep an eye on the others for me, okay ?"
They both fell silent and their eyes betrayed shock and sorrow. Michael took a step forward and grabbed your hand to squeeze it lightly. It was not a question—more of a plea. He wanted you to stay. Your eyes watered at the gesture and you took a deep breath before looking up at the ceiling. You couldn't face their reactions, you couldn't let them see you cry.
"You don't need to do this, Y/N. Please. We can find a way. The slashers need you.", Five hesitated before adding, "I need you."
"Five...", you smiled tenderly at him before pressing your forehead against his. "It's alright. You'll be alright."
It sounded so pitiful—but you had learned to care for the slashers more than you'd care to admit. And maybe was it the reason you had been forced to resign. You wanted to stay—so badly. But, you finally pulled away and wiped the few tears that had managed to escape. There was nothing to be done. The hospital wasn't yours—and so you wouldn't be able to bargain. This was not something you could negotiate—it was terminal.
"The slashers will be confused at first—even angry at me. But, you need to understand that...I care about you. And you'll always have each other. I trust you to watch over them."
Five looked liked he wanted to say something—but reconsidered. Michael stared at you before wordlessly standing up and leaving. He didn't want to stay. It was too upsetting. But then, he looked back at Five who was still seated. Five didn't want to leave you yet.
Michael sat back down.
You smiled gratefully at him.
"I know it must be upsetting for the both of you. But, there is no one I would trust more with the slashers than the both of you."
Michael's knuckles tightened into fists at his sides. This felt too much like a goodbye. You had always been there for them, why would the hospital decide to get rid of you ? It didn't make any sense...
You noticed his reaction and gently placed your hands on top of his.
"Michael...It's okay. You've progressed so much. I'm so proud of you. So very proud. I know that you'll be alright."
You held back your tears and thought of all the things you had witnessed and experienced with them. All the good memories and the battles fought and won. St Louis was more than just your job, it had become your home.
It was hard to say goodbye—but you knew it was for the best. They'd learn to fend for themselves and adapt themselves to the world waiting for them outside. It didn't matter if it was with or without you.
You smiled and wordlessly stood up to leave. You had suitcases to prepare...
Outside :
"F*CK !", Jack cursed loudly before thrashing the room all the slashers has decided to eavesdrop on your conversation from. They clearly hadn't expected it and Jack was letting his anger get the best of him. Freddy was not far behind as he gritted his teeth and shouted.
"This is fuckin' stupid...Who the hell decided that ?!"
"Calm down, gentlemen.", Patricia instructed the two slashers before sitting down. But, Freddy only snarled.
"How are we supposed to fuckin' calm down ?! Haven't ya heard what they said ?! They' gonna make them leave !"
Patricia sent him such a dark glare that he finally indulged and sat back down while Patricia's mind was running all sorts of scenarios in her head. She knew all hell would break lose once you would be gone. And even though she didn't particularly care about the people who would die in the process—she did care about the Horde. And the Horde didn't want you gone. Hedwig was already crying inside and she could feel their whole body tensing up.
"I heard every single word, as we all did. But, if I could have five minutes of your attention. I may have a plan."
All the slashers seemed to converge their attention to her as she smiled and turned towards the clowns first.
"The Penny Brothers and the Jokers. How would you like to be working together ?"
"I would rather eat my own leg !", Pennywise growled out and Arthur huffed a mocking laugh.
"Go ahead. I would love to see you self-destruct."
Pennywise glared at Arthur, but he held his look with a small provocative smirk playing on his lips. However, it was Penny who suddenly spoke up.
"If it's for Y/N...We would try. But what do you expect us to do exactly ?"
Patricia giggled before she leaned forward—as if to share a secret.
"What you do best...cause chaos."
Pennywise frowned in incomprehension at her answer. What was she talking about ?
"So...your grand plan is for us to cause ruckus ? For what ? It's not going to get nurse Y/N to stay..."
Patricia seemed to be waiting for someone to ask the question as she answered.
"While you play...We are going to bring a very important letter to the head council tomorrow.", Patricia replied with a knowing smirk while turning towards Jack who frowned.
"Hum...You know we can't get in, right ?", he reminded her and Patricia nodded.
"Not without a key card. Yes. But this is why we have them...", she turned towards the door and smiled. "Come on in, Five. Michael."
After a few seconds, Five and Michael did enter. Their little chat with you had ended a little while ago and they had been listening since then. They seemed as defeated as the rest of the slashers, but didn't dare protest against Patricia's plan—as it was the only one they had.
"Five you will have but a few seconds to grab one of the security key cards while Jason and Freddy create a distraction for the guards. The Penny Brothers and the Jokers will cause chaos and murder whoever stands in their way. Jack. You will be writing that letter. I will then get the letter to the head council and make sure they understand that we do not appreciate their order. At all.", she continued and at the end, all the slashers seemed to agree. But, Pennywise did tssk as he gave a doubtful look to tee two other clowns.
"...You really expect us to work with those Jokers ? Come on. They are not trustworthy."
"And not very nice.", Penny added.
"Wow. Thanks, guys. Really heart-warming.", J mocked and Arthur gave them a disdainful side glance.
"Be reassured. We aren't that thrilled either."
"Enough.", Patricia chastised them before giving a warning look to both sides. "We only have one shot at this. And unless you really want Y/N to go—you will do as I say."
The clowns all seemed to be biting back their words as they glared at each other—but finally complied. They were doing this for you after all. Patricia smiled—satisfied. She then looked towards the very silent boys—Brahms and Vincent.
"You boys must make sure that Y/N stays in the building. They mustn't leave. At all costs. Can you do that ?"
Brahms and Vincent looked at each other before nodding in agreement. You wouldn't be leaving their sight...Patricia then noticed Bo leaned against the door—looking at everyone with calculating eyes. He perfectly knew what Patricia was doing. She was taking control and they both knew why...But, as he didn't have a plan—he had no choice but to stay silent.
"Mr. Sinclair...I was made aware that you tend to all the cars in the facility, is that correct ?", she said with a fake smile and Bo answered with one of his own.
"Yeah. I know my way aroun' an ol' four-wheel, why ?"
Patricia nodded before eyeing the cars parked in front of the compound.
"I need you to go downstairs and make sure none of them are operational by tomorrow. Our sweet nurse can't leave if they do not have a ride..."
Bo followed her gaze and finally smiled. The old hag wasn't wrong. The nearest town was miles away and the time they could call for anyone—they would be running this whole hospital. Of course, not long enough to take complete control—but just enough for the clowns to make the higher-ups understand that nurse Y/N had to stay. This could actually work. He tipped his cap at Patricia in agreement.
"Yes, ma'am. On it."
He then disappeared and Patricia smiled to herself before clapping her hands together.
"Let's go, children. It's show time."
All the slashers nodded in agreement—even the most stubborn ones. Patricia saw them scatter and prepare themselves. At the end, only Michael remained.
He was staring at her.
"Something to say, Michael ?", Patricia said and her cold eyes settled on him. There were several things Michael wanted to say...But, he remained silent. He could see right through her sweet glamor—she was bittersweet. He would listen to her now, but he wouldn't let her take control of the slashers. He took a step forward and reached out for her—but then noticed the slight shift in their eyes.
In a matter of seconds, another personality showed. Dennis sighed before pulling out his glasses and meticulously cleaning the lenses before walking right past Michael.
"We have a long day tomorrow, Mr. Myers. I would advise you to go get some rest."
It was no advice. It was a warning. Michael narrowed his eyes at the Horde until they were out of sight. He knew that many of the slashers weren't fooled, but easily influenced.
And whatever the Horde would ask after saving nurse Y/N ? It would be expensive.
He sighed and looked up at the ceiling where a spider was slowly weaving its web. He then turned around to leave. Tomorrow promised to be eventful...
The next morning :
"Y/N...Y/N ?!", Brahms called out for you—but you were nowhere to be seen. Both Brahms and Vincent started to panic. Had you lied on the time you were supposed to leave ?
Fortunately, you got out of the bathroom just at that moment and frowned at both slashers who were standing in front of the door.
"Brahms ? Vincent ? What are you doing here ?", you asked—but they didn't answer. You sighed and attempted to get to the door, but Brahms caught your wrist and shook his head.
"Y/N. Not leaving.", he articulated and your brow furrowed as you tried to pull out of his hold—but to no avail. That's when you heard them...the screams. And soon after, gunshots. Your eyes widened as you looked up at the two slashers who refused to meet your gaze.
"What is going on ?", you asked—but they ignored you. You gritted your teeth before demanding. "Brahms. Vincent. Get out of my way. Right now."
It was Vincent's time to shake his head and you could see how painful it was for the both of them to disobey—but they had to. Your eyes became serious as the screams and cries for help of your ex-colleagues became louder. You were technically still a nurse until the sunset. And you wouldn't stand here while the slashers threw away all the hard effort you had put in stopping them from making any more victims.
You stomped your foot authoratively and caught the attention of both Vincent and Brahms. You then tried to not let your voice waver as you ordered them to move aside.
"Brahms. Vincent. Let me see."
You had your serious face on and could see their determination start to decline. Finally, they obeyed and Brahms moved—followed suit by Vincent. But, before you got out, Brahms grabbed your hand and looked desperate as he uttered.
"Don't...look."
Don't look ? At what ? You opened the door ajar and glimpsed outside. What you found there made you freeze on the spot. Blood...So much blood. Bodies. Bullet holes. The Penny Brothers feasting on some guards while the Jokers were shooting the runners. It was a nightmarish sight.
You slowly closed the door and your whole body was trembling—but not in fear. You weren't afraid of them. You knew they would never hurt you...but in rage. You didn't know what the slashers were hoping to achieve—but that was slamming all of your efforts back into your face. And doing all this behind your back ?
You slowly closed the door and tried to smile before wordlessly walking to the bathroom. Brahms and Vincent followed you with their eyes—but didn't walk after you. You locked the door behind you before looking up at your bathroom window. As a slashers' nurse, you had planned for the eventuality that you would have to escape your own room if necessary and had hid a rope and a knife in your towel basket. You urgently got the rope out and wrapped it securely around you before attaching the other end to the toilet's base.
However, you then heard a persistent knocking at the door. You knew it was either Brahms or Vincent and that it was a matter of time before they entered. You quickly got out the window and started climbing down the wall. You ignored the dooming feeling creeping at the back of your neck and kept going—even though you could hear people being slaughtered inside. You blinked your tears away and your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door breaking.
You looked up and found Brahms and Vincent peering down at you from the window you had just escaped from. Vincent stayed and decided to go another way—but Brahms followed you. He grabbed the rope and started climbing down after you.
"Y/N !", he called for you and you could feel that the rope wouldn't hold you both for long.
"Brahms ! Don't follow me ! You will get hurt !"
But he stubbornly refused to let go and when the rope finally broke—you both fell. But— even though you thought you were falling to certain death—you felt two arms wrap around you.
"Y/N...", Brahms whispered before you both hit the ground. But, Brahms made sure to take most of the damage as you both rolled over. His arms caged you—but there was a softness in the way he had uttered your name that brought tears to your eyes. Brahms was one of the slashers that had taken his rehabilitation seriously. He had made tremendous effort and it was maybe the reason why he hadn't killed anyone today. The other slashers could feel it too. But, you were genuinely afraid as you didn't feel him move above you. You succeeded in worming yourself out of his embrace, but what you saw made your eyes grow wide in horror.
"Brahms !", you screamed and teared up as you tried to extract a tree branch that had pierced his abdomen. You finally succeeded in retrieving the piece of wood and you could see that Brahms' wound was already healing. You had little time and only kissed his forehead lovingly.
"I'm sorry, Brahms..."
You then ran to the nearest car and attempted to start it—but it sputtered and stopped completely. And no matter how many times you tried to get it to work—it wasn't moving. And then, you heard a tell-tale whistling and didn't even need to look out to know who it was. Bo walked at a slow pace towards your car—unhurriedly. He seemed almost peaceful—even though each step he took painted the road with red prints. He almost danced his way to you before leaning against the door of the car and almost comically knocked on the window.
"Ya were really about to go without sayin' goodbye, darlin' ?"
You took a deep breath before slowly turned your head towards him—only to be met with Bo's shit-eating grin. Of course. Of course he would mess up with your early retirement.
"Bo...I'm sorry. But, I have no choice.", you tried to explain—but Bo tsskd playfully.
"We're your patients. YOUR patients, nurse. No one else's. Ya the only reason we' here in this dump hole. Now, if they don' like it ? They can suck it."
He then leaned forward until you could see the insanity gleaming in his eyes. He forward to you and you shivered when he retrieved the keys of the car and made it look like a magic trick as he made it disappear. Your eyes widened as you tried to open the door and run to another car—but he slammed it shut with his foot.
"Bo...I can't stay.", you insisted—but he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Well—sh*t. Looks like we have no choice but kidnap ya then...ain't that right, boys ?"
And suddenly, you were surrounded. All the slashers were staring at you and you closed your eyes before resting your forehead against the cool material of the steering wheel—knowing it was over.
Freddy *smirks* : "Seems like it. Sure would be awful, wouldn't it ?"
Jason *nods in agreement before standing in front of the car*
Brahms *holds his hand* : "We're not letting you go, Y/N."
Jack *chuckles and shakes his head before lowering himself to face you* : "I've been spending the whole night writing a damn letter to the head council. They better change their mind before we decide to get rid of them. Would be a real shame..."
Penny *giggles mischievously behind him* : "SHAME !"
Pennywise *rolls his eyes* : "We literally caused a bloodbath for you."
'I didn't ask you to...I didn't ask for any of this.' You wanted to say—but kept your mouth shut. Your slashers had rescued you—not knowing that you didn't want to be rescued.
They hadn't learnt a single thing. It broke your heart. Maybe, it should had been for the best for you to leave after all ? You had tried to stay with your face held up high and a smile to boot—but it was because you believed they could change. You truly believed you could change them. But, the blood was warm on your face—a contrast with the blood frozen in your veins.
You loved them—you really did.
But, it was becoming harder and harder to ignore the dead bodies and all the families knocking at your door—asking what happened to their relative. It was becoming harder and harder to lie and say it was an unfortunate accident—or the risks of the job. Once back inside, you locked your bedroom door and slid down until your butt reached the floor and finally broke into tears. What were you supposed to do ? They would never let you leave. That was now a certainty now.
You were trapped. But, the worst part was ?
You didn't seem to mind as much as you should.
#fandoms#imagine#fanfic#pennywise 2017#pennywise 1990#slashers#michael myers#freddy krueger#the horde#jason voorhees#brahms heelshire#bo sinclair#vincent sinclair#jack torrance#slashers au
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Headcanons (at least somewhat supported by evidence from the show) about how Tech's death impacted the rest of the squad (because season 3 APPARENTLY HAD NO TIME to go into this)
Sorry, all, I'm still not over how Tech's death was handled in season 3 and I don't think I will be for a loooooooong time (if ever)
Actually I'm still trying to process the fact that they dared to kill him off but here we are
If the show won't clearly portray the deeper and lasting effects of his sacrifice then I will 😭
Hunter: officially decided to retire because he couldn't bear the thought of losing anyone else. When Shep talked to him about settling down in "Tipping Point," Hunter still seemed reluctant ("He's become an integral part of this community. You all have. Any chance you've reconsidered staying permanently?", says Shep; "For soldiers, putting down roots is an occupational hazard," Hunter responds); but as soon as Tech dies, Hunter is done ("It's time to put being soldiers behind us.") I'll even go so far as to propose that Hunter's decision to give up on recovering Crosshair and instead focus completely on finding Omega stemmed from his grief over Tech and the fact that Crosshair was associated at all (through no fault of his own, of course) with Tech's demise.
Wrecker: memorizes the plans because Tech is no longer around to help remind him, and steps up to offer counterpoints to Hunter's plans, just like Tech (and Echo) would have done (whereas before Wrecker tended to just agree with whatever point was made)
Crosshair: I don't think we really see him ever get over Tech's death. He is the first to return to the matter at hand when Tech is brought up (both in "The Return" and in "Juggernaut"); he never even spares a glance (that we see, at least) at the one memento left of his brother; the one time he mentions Tech, it's when he's trying to convince Hunter and Wrecker to let him go in on what would be a suicide mission. I'm inclined to believe the tremors either started or at least worsened when he learned what happened to Tech. I'm even more inclined to believe that the reason why he didn't throw Tech's death in Hunter's face in "The Return" was because Crosshair completely blames himself for it. (Even more reason for the show to display Crosshair's reaction/eventual acceptance of Tech's death, but I digress...)
Omega: aside from her innate compassionate nature, Tech is the primary reason why she chose to do everything she did all through season 3 - she took all his lessons to heart, and not just the piloting/tactical lessons.
And she always did.
Okay this one REALLY hurts but I'm including it anyway... 💔
And even when the odds seem overwhelming, she continues finding ways to counteract the malicious designs of people/entities like Mokko and the Empire.
(I know there's more, but I'm not prepared to do a full rewatch yet.)
#tbb#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#star wars#tbb season 3#tbb spoilers#my headcanons#i'm fine it's fine i'm fine#almost burst into tears at work today thinking about tech but seriously i'm fine#rip tech
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