the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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VTA AU NARI + LAMB DESIGNS! (+ DOODLE DUMP!!!)
Ppl who were interested in the auuu pspspsppspspsps (Is this au like my official introduction to the cotl fandom?)
Golly, I think in the end I am gonna keep the name- Suhddhjejfjejd
By the way! The lamb wore something different before they gave the crown away :> maybe I’ll eventually post that one too
Smoll Doodle dump under the cut :]
Vows to ash au: In which Narinder decides to bring a definitely not complaint lamb back to life after they were sacrificed a second time to help him deal with his siblings apparently not being dead dead + cult duties + he missed them terribly and the crown is slowly driving him insane. However, things don’t go as planned for the god of death since a certain someone didn’t exactly want to be alive again and in fact, would much prefer to go back to being dead, thank you. Chaos, angst and a ridiculous amount of miscommunication ensure!
What will happen? Will they get along enough to deal with this mess? Also what’s up with whole “The crown is as much of a blessing as it is a curse” thing?
All of that shall wait for now- cuz woe side characters be upon ye
Boy the birdie was so hard to draw
ANYWAYS!! These three are kids (not really kids anymore) that were born in the cult and almost raised entirely by the lamb (Dipal was entirely raised by them), reason why they are very very loyal to them. They were also turned into disciples some time before the lamb gave the crown back. They are very close with each other and the Lamb trusts them a lot. (These three are actually my in-game disciples who were born and raised in the cult almost entirely by the lamb)
WELP! That’s all for now. More doodles coming soon tho. As always, any questions are welcome (and encouraged, I like talking!) Hopefully I’ll be able to post some lore dumps or things of the such. Until theeeeeen!
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end result of the Evil Art Style Challenge! it's the deep dark :)
i asked my followers what traits they associate with my art and then had to try drawing without any of them (readmore for list)
thin smooth lineart -> no lineart
shiny highlights -> no shiny :(
3/4ths angle for faces -> straight on view
expressive eyes -> character is wearing goggles (i wasn’t really sure how to Not do this? it would be an interesting challenge to try to do this without hiding the eyes but i’d need more detail abt what ‘expressive’ means)
good hands -> only one hand is visible + it is a blob
clothing folds -> ok look i was trying not to put any folds on that cloak but looking at it now i think i did it anyway on accident. i was just trying to color it in i swear
minimalist background -> detailed background
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yuuta gets so squirmy when you suck his fingers . . it’s unlike any sensation he’s ever experienced before ; the way your tongue meticulously lavs his index, how your mouth latches onto the digit as you look up at him with those pretty eyes . . he swears he could get drunk off staring into your gaze — and when you start bobbing your head n moaning as if he's the best thing you've ever tasted, he can’t help but throw his head back and groan ; can’t help but buck his hips up because fuck, not only did you get him hard , but now he’s leaking . . help that poor boy :( he might just make a mess in his pants if you keep it up !
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