#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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How do you feel about the desensitization social media has about tragedy and how this affects our brains? I’ve studied media and communication and I’m super passionate about this topic.
The other day I was scrolling on Youtube shorts, and I saw a girl post a video about the air quality in new york due to the wildfires in Canada. The video was satire/comedy and she sped her video up while prancing around lip singing to yellow by coldplay or something. (Side note: why do people even find these sped up videos funny? They’re annoying)
I’m just wondering if you have an opinion on how desensitized people have become. Like at first glance I was like Oh that’s a bit funny! And then I caught myself and was like hang on this really happened as is currently affecting others… that’s horrible. I’ll scroll on my snapchat news and see murder case / true crime headings reading like fun little blurbs. And people do their makeup and profit off other peoples trauma for views like they’re professionals doing it and it’s so insulting. The list really goes ON.
Do you think some studies will start coming out soon about how our empathy levels are incredibly low or even developing our brains differently because of social media’s impact on empathy and being desensitized to so many things?
Sorry for the loaded question! I’m curious to see what you think.
Thank you for this question because I've been thinking about it for like, three days straight. At first I was inclined to be like, "well, no, I think the internet is fine and our worries about empathy are just a moral panic that we see with every new technology that's developed." And then I was inclined to be like, "people have definitely become less empathetic lately, and the internet is probably a big part of that." But I think the reality is that the internet is kind of neutral. More than anything, the internet is a tool that acts to magnify and intensify the way people already are. Some people use the internet to become more aware of other people and understand their unique situations; other people use it to be trolls.
The first thing I want to talk about here is the idea that people used to be more empathetic in the past. I just don't know if that's actually true. Blood sports- games in which people are violent towards one another on purpose as a form of entertainment- have existed for most of human history. Gladiator combat in Ancient Rome is a relatively popular example of this, and often ended in the death of a gladiator. Boxing is a sport that has historically been popular and continues to be popular to this day, despite the fact that it's just two people violently attacking one another. Lynchings used to be public spectacles, where the attendants often treated these as festive events, with food, family photos, and souvenirs. I don't know that I believe we were really more empathetic in the past at all. I think we've actually really improved on the "you can't torture, maim, or kill other people or animals for entertainment" front, especially since those types of things are generally banned from social media.
And like I was saying before, I do genuinely think that the internet can foster greater understanding and empathy towards marginalized groups. I know the struggles of all sorts of groups that I might never encounter in real life. I know how to be polite to people from a variety of different cultures that I might never experience. I've been posed with some really challenging philosophical questions through the content I've been exposed to online. I'm hearing the narratives of marginalized groups that I may have never otherwise heard, and I'm hearing it in their own words. That's incredibly valuable, and I think people who have grown up in the internet age don't fully appreciate how historically rare that actually is. Up until now, history has been written by the victors, the powerful, the oppressors. Now that narrative is democratized and widely available. That's huge in terms of its ability to build empathy and understanding if we choose to be open to it.
But, that same democratization can create problems. The first is that there's not really a distinction between in-group and out-group content anymore. It used to be that there was kind of a sense of, "well, I can say that about my own [group/family/situation] to people who understand, but you can't say that, because you're not part of it and you don't get it." People create content with their in-group in mind, but it often "breaches containment"- it's seen by people who aren't in that in-group. People who are living in New York and making jokes about the air quality situation in New York are usually making those jokes for other people in New York who are in their same situation. They're trying to lighten the mood of something scary. But the people who are seeing it aren't necessarily in New York; they're all over the world, and the context and emotional intention of that joke is kind of lost. There's an implicit assumption in these videos that you're starting from a place of understanding how horrible it is because you're living it, but that's often not true of the actual viewers. In your case, you saw a funny video and thought it was funny. If you had seen a serious video about the same situation, you probably would have been like, "oh shit, this is serious. I hope the people are okay." It's not necessarily a lack of empathy here but a lack of shared context in the way the information is being presented (or something like that?)
That brings us to problem two, which is compassion fatigue. More than ever before in history, we are constantly aware of every bad thing that has happened everywhere in the world, every single day. It used to be that you would get the newspaper and it would be focused mostly on local news, with some national headlines and a couple international headlines that were really important. The information we had about bad things that were happening were mostly things we could do something about. But now, that's not really the case, right? Today, I know that the Jenin refugee camp suffered massive damage following the Israeli army's biggest assault there in 20 years. I know the Palestinians fear that the situation will escalate. I know that Allison Mack, who ran the Nxivm cult, was released from prison after serving just two years of her sentence. I know that a suspect in a Philadelphia shooting was charged with the murder of five people, and that a Canadian man is facing terrorism charges over far-right videos, and that Japan has announced a controversial plan to release treated waste water from the Fukushima nuclear plant, and that Senegal has been facing a crisis because their President, Macky Sall, was threatening not to step down after the end of his second term, and that France is protesting police violence because a police officer shot and killed a French-Algerian teenager. And I can't do anything about any of this. I just know about it, and I have to care about it because I know about it.
And we've created this weird ecosystem online where everyone feels like they need to issue a PR type statement about whatever sociopolitical thing the internet cares about in the moment to show that they're a good person who is informed, even if they don't have a significant following and aren't impacted by the issue at hand. All of us are doing a weird kind of brand management for a brand that's just our own self, and we're managing it for the sake of our friends and family because we feel like we have to. And any time a person with a significant following does publish one of those statements, inevitably there are people badgering them about why they haven't spoken on the issue that they care about that's happening in their country. I just don't think that we as people have the emotional capacity to process that much information or care about that many things, especially when they're situations that we can't really do anything about, and especially when that situation will be replaced with something new within a few days. I think that's one of the reasons so many people feel helpless and disempowered right now. There's too much to fix but no real way for us to do it, especially in the time scale the internet provides.
So in this sense, I don't think that we're lacking empathy so much as we're required to be so empathetic that we've exhausted our capacity for it. There are more demands put upon us to be empathetic than ever before, and so we reach those moments of compassion fatigue more than ever before.
The other thing that I think is worth talking about here is the way in which the internet prioritizes extremes. The goal of algorithms is generally to get people to stay on the website longer, and the easiest way to do that is by getting them to feel a strong emotion. That's why clickbait works. It's also why the internet is invested in creating so much outrage. And the easiest way to continue getting people to feel outraged is to show them increasingly outrageous things, whether or not they're true. The internet kind of got 4chanified- like teenagers on 4chan, social media algorithms and article headline writers are trying to out-do one another by recommending or posting the most outrageous thing they can in order to capture the attention economy.
This is the part that concerns me the most with regards to the internet in general. Famously, Facebook’s negligence facilitated the genocide of Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar after its algorithms amplified hate speech and Facebook failed to remove the inflammatory posts. Outrage = views = money for Facebook = more outrage bait being pushed = in the most extreme cases, genocide. And also, outrage = views = money for Facebook = more outrage bait being pushed = Donald Trump getting elected in the US. Outrage = views = money for Facebook = more outrage bait being pushed = people believing misinformation about medicine. And I think that creates a kind of interesting dynamic when it comes to empathy. Because in some sense, these people are very empathetic- they're outraged because of their empathy. They read a (fake) story about a child being victimized by a pediophilic trans teacher (or whatever) and panic because they have empathy for the children that they believe were victims. They're anti-immigration because they have empathy for the people who (they believe are) losing their jobs to immigrants. In the case of the Rohingya genocide, the Buddhist majority in Myanmar had empathy for the individuals that they believed were victimized by the Rohingya for their religious beliefs. These people were all wrong, but they're not lacking empathy. They're making a decision that an outside group isn't worthy of empathy because they've committed such heinous crimes. And that's a tale as old as time; just ask anyone who's Jewish.
I think what we need to be worried about is the ways in which the internet, and especially social media, can platform and expedite that process on a level that hasn't really been seen before. After the 2016 election, I used to really believe that we just needed to sit down with people across the aisle and have a civil, empathetic, rational conversation about the issues. But now I think that if that was ever possible, the time for it has passed. Misinformation, disinformation, and sensationalized information have become so rampant online that there's not really any way to have those discussions anymore because there's no way to agree on what is and isn't true. And unless we change something really quickly, that problem is just going to get worse with the advent of deepfake technologies and AI bots.
I feel like I've said a lot here but I haven't really come to any conclusions... but those are some of my thoughts, at least. I guess maybe it's that humans have always kind of sucked at being empathetic to people who are part of an out-group, but now we're just doing it on a global scale and reacting to threats that are (perceived to be) larger than ever before? Maybe it's that we should focus on strengthening and bettering our local communities as much as possible, and contributing on a global scale when we can? Maybe it's that media literacy is important, and we should always interact with news articles critically, even if they seem like they're a credible source?
#InternetEmpathy#VirtualNarratives#EmpathyThroughTechnology#DigitalDemocratization#SharedContextChallenge#CompassionFatigue#InformationOverload#OnlineOutrage#AttentionEconomy#SocialMediaImpacts#media literacy#cultural criticism#cultural critique
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I said it was slightly problematic at worst, but that’s because it is. You’re completely neglecting to look at what Lily actually did. She made a few jokes at the expense of weebs, which is a mockery of anime fans, not Japanese people. She made a remark about how it was weird to call ramen noodles as such, since that’s really no different than calling something like rigatoni “rigotani” instead of just “noodles”. She supposedly read and liked a book with racist stuff in it, but that’s not something with any evidence to it. To say what she actually did was racist or even bad could only come from arriving at a conclusion before seeing what actually happened.
I said that “at worst” statement before any evidence of her fetishizing black women was brought in, and I’m writing this before any evidence was brought in because it doesn’t actually exist. However I am sorry that I didn’t clarify I wasn’t talking about her supposedly fetishizing black women in that statement, I should’ve clarified more. Unlike their other accusations, saying Lily’s fetishizing black women is an extreme and broad accusation and to take them at their word without any actual quotes or clips or any actual reason to believe Lily did anything wrong would be immoral. What they gave wasn’t evidence, it was a testimony that doesn’t come close to aligning with reality. If Lily actually was fetishizing black women I’d completely agree, but she isn’t.
I don’t dismiss the proof unless it’s completely incongruous with reality. Saying someone did a thing isn’t evidence, it’s a statement that should be followed by evidence. Also I already knew about most of what she was talking about, and those which I didn’t are things I looked for proof on and asked for actual proof on. Given that whenever I did ask for actual proof they said “find it yourself” (which you can’t because the proof isn’t real), I’d say it was justified for me to not always take them at their word.
Finally, I should add one extremely important addendum. In her video on internet stalking, she mentions she’s been involved in some horrible takes in the past and holds nothing against people who remain angry with her because of them. Speaking as a non binary person myself, I found it alienating when she said “non binary people are, by their very definition interesting, and you (Rebecca Sugar) managed to make that boring.” since it treated enby identities as this fascinating and alien thing rather than just a normal thing people can be. I’m not angry with her about that, but I certainly wouldn’t blame anyone who was angry at things she’s actually said and done. Lily’s said some bad things, I’m not denying that, but what happened here had nothing to do with anything Lily actually said. It had to do with people wanting her to be the bad guy and finding every excuse to paint her as such. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, and she deserves better than the rumors so many people propagate.
LO is a predator with multiple allegations of sexual misconduct that include, but it's not limited to:
-catfishing in order to coerce someone into sexual activity under false pretenses.
-getting nudes of a person without their informed consent.
-threatening to publish revenge porn.
-openly cheating an ex.
-pushing against the boundaries of her ex to do sexual art for her.
-taking advantage of a mentally ill disabled artist to make more sexual art of her.
-make a whole smear campaign about said artist when they came out about the situation.
-flashing on YouTube not one, not two, but three times. the first time wasn't even age restricted. the last time MO joined in.
-try to expose herself in front of a friend who didn't want that.
-seeking to invite a fan into her house to have sexual relations during a stream.
-not tagging lewd or NSFW content on her blog, where she knows minors follow her because they tell her, only after a lot of people asking her over and over to do so.
-sexualizing Ace characters specifically with non human creatures.
-sexualize shows meants for children with no warning, tagging or age restriction.
-expose her audience constantly to her incest fetish without warning.
-treating black women as "exotic zoo animals" and then dismiss it entirely in order to pain herself as the victim of the black people who expressed those feelings.
i'm sure there's more but this is what i thought off the top of my head.
if this was just one person i'be skeptical. but not when two of them have been presenting screenshots of what they went through with LO for years now, having zero previous relationship between each other, and the other LO is desperate to smear with a new awful claim that contradicts everything she said before, wishing death upon her in public.
i can't on good conscience chalked it up to a coincidence. not after seeing myself the way LO constantly crosses boundaries, abuses her audience and dismisses even the most valid complaint about her attitude with the ease of someone that is used to make excuses for themselves. you might feel comfortable dismissing entirely such claims without bothering to do proper research. i'm not.
if you came to know about LO and think the only reason we have these blogs is because of her bad takes and that you're going to help her defending her ignorant remarks, you'll be severely dissapointed and she won't appreciate whatever is that you're attempting here.
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anyways there are two types of kaeluc shippers:
1. the problematic ones, obviously, who ship it because they like incest and do in fact consider them brothers but hide behind the idea that they aren't related by blood to deflect criticism
2. the ones that don't consider them brothers, and view them more as close childhood friends. kaeya was "adopted" rather late to be truly considered a "brother" in the blood sense, related or not. family? yeah of course. he was taken in by diluc's dad as if he was a son- but friends are just chosen family, aren't they?
honestly, a lot of the discourse about this reminds me of sheith. i was a mega sheith shipper and we would get so much hate from immature tweens and teens who make everything unnecessarily sexual and problematic because they're on the internet unsupervised and exposing themselves to questionable content from questionable sources before they've developed the ability to understand these terms themselves, and so they latch on to whatever idea they see first and if it's a hateful one, then that'll be it until they grow up and start building a sense for these concepts themselves with a cummulative, better informed definition. this happens at different ages for everyone, but one thing for sure is that people on the internet are really stupid sometimes. people like things to be black and white, because they think it's easier, and they're scared of being wrong, so they impose strict worldviews on everything, disregarding every other person's experiences to put theirs on top. but that's not how the universe works. people see and experience things differently from one another, so you could be equally wrong as you are right about something somewhere.
looking into kaeluc more, i recognized some of the sheith shipper struggles in the kaeluc shipper struggles, and realized i was judging kaeluc shippers unfairly. i hated the idea of kaeluc right off the bat even before looking into it cuz i heard "brother" and envisioned a situation where kaeya was adopted as a baby and thus would truly have been raised alongside diluc as a brother, never having known different. i doubt i'm the only one who thought that.
but it turns out that's not what happened.
kaeya was already his own person by the time he was taken in, and had memories of another father and another family. no matter how close he may have grown to crepus and diluc, he has clear, indisputable memories of other family before them. yes, crepus became his "adoptive" father. but that doesn't mean he ever truly viewed diluc as a brother in a familial way, and vise versa. they were "sworn brothers," whatever the hell that meant to them. it could be; hell yeah you are my brother and i am reluctantly related to you the way i would be a blood brother, or; i feel very close to you, we've shared many experiences together and you've seen sides of me that typically only family would see.
it is well within the realm of possibility, and not even weird, that kaeya and diluc could have had romantic feelings for each other at some point. it would be no different than crushing on the boy next door. just because they eat dinner together and sleep in the same house doesn't mean they're automatically related. residential and family law would get super weird if shared tenanacy meant you became immediate family.
my first crush was at the age of like 4 years old and i still remember it well. it was silly, but it was innocent. kids love each other all the time, and no, it isn't weird to talk about or acknowledge that. you can't just throw around loaded terms like "pedo" every time someone discusses children. respect them the way you do other human beings and recognize that kids have feelings. and they're allowed to have feelings. it's not weird, it's just fact. it's our job as adults to help kids with their feelings and to understand them- and we can't do that if we pretend they don't exist in the first place.
and as far as kaeluc goes, they were like 11 /12! we don't know the exact age but this is the estimation since kaeya was old enough to accept a secret and serious mission.
do you remember being that age? it was fucking wild. i was hormonal as fuck. i developed crushes on anyone who treated me like a person for one brief second cuz most other people were mean, and bullies. i had a new crush everyday and honestly that was so valid. it's not like i was harassing people, i just let other the presence of nice and cute people make parts of my day a better time.
proximity and a smile is all it takes at that age. any age, really.
so basically, shipping kaeluc doesn't automatically make you an immoral person, because, as is fact, they aren't brothers by blood, opening up the concept of their brotherhood to interpretation. they were already growing individuals at the time they met and lived together.
so yeah, some kaeluc shippers are fucked up and gross but others really aren't at all. some just genuinely respect their relationship, and see two men that have a beautiful bond.
i didn't think of it that way until i came across this kaeluc fanart that just really stuck with me. it wasn't sexual at all. just tender, and sweet. the artist really captured this idea of two men that care a lot about each other despite their complicated history. it didn't feel like i was looking at something that should be wrong. it looked like a worried partner kissing the other goodbye before a dangerous mission. it looked just like any other romantic relationship where someone is at risk of dying everyday they go to work.
so i gave them a chance, and looked more into it.
and now, i've really warmed up to the kaeluc ship if i take the perspective i did with sheith: they aren't at all related, they're friends who happened to grow up together and could be seen or described as brothers but really it's up for debate because no one version currently has any more validity than the other.
it's all pedantics, and we could argue this forever cuz unfortunately, we don't really have a way of determining to what degree they are "brothers" since they don't call each other that anymore, and there has been conflict surrounding the translation of the term that has been used in the first place.
the only way we'd know is by talking to them. but they're fictional characters.
and we're allowed to headcanon things about fictional characters.
you could be right or wrong and we might never know for sure. it's not like i can sit kaeya down and be like "how do you really feel about diluc?" or do the same with diluc.
one thing for sure is that they do care about each other, all the fighting aside.
and that's sweet, and it shouldn't be punishable by death to see that caring as romantic because it very well could be.
we really don't know
if any more clarity comes out i'll be paying attention to it but as of now, i no longer have any qualms with kaeluc as a ship in its own right
reallllllly excited for the diluc event tho!!! i just adore his new skin!!!!
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Ik Mis Je
We both know that it won’t work out right now- the fact that we still have ambitions to be tempered, thirsts to be quenched, and hunger to be fed. Also, these oceans and continents that stand between us, then your unfinished business- whatever they are that fit within that term.
But it also doesn’t change the fact that my heart longs for something more, you said that I deserve way better than you- I probably do- but you also set these standards so high that I don’t think I can find someone else that can top you. I keep holding on to our words, that we will definitely see each other- which we absolutely will. But also, it urges me to do something that’s not should be done, cannot be done, in my timeline.
My already dying wish to travel and study abroad, I got it all planned, which is to actually do it accordingly to the way it should be. Logically, I know that- but now I feel like I think about these plans more than I should while I also cannot change the fact that it takes time, that now is not the time. It tests my patience, while I was the master of it until all hell broke loose, until I let myself dived into this.
We still talk through this advanced technology that I have been exposed since my teenage years. But for the first time in many years, I am actually acknowledging it, how it exists to lessen the urge to think that every thing was just a fever dream through the memories that I captured and our conversations each day. It is crazy that I just do that now, while of course there are many instances where I cannot imagine how to live even years before I was born- without internet and every thing. But this time, the gratitude makes no sense.
Perhaps it’s because you mean more than I would like to admit, or maybe it’s just my attachment issue that got me feeling like this (it is the combination of the two). The gratitude now just makes sense as I am writing this part, I will take anything if it means that we still have these intense exchanges.
But also, something that has been bugging me, when my friend said that I should find someone while I laid all my plans to her (of course that plan doesn’t involve any romantical aspect). Regardless, with or without significant other, I will have to move on at certain points. Yes, we kinda jokingly promised to each other that we will marry, and my denial-naive self prays that he keeps his words to not to be in a relationship and focus on pursuing his dreams. But then again, he never said no to situationships- that’s a possibility. At this moment, he is not mine and I am not his (I still stubbornly pray that one day it will be the case). So, maybe one day I will be okay again and come to full terms with this, to have no strings attached- despite of the possibility of us in the future (which is the future’s business).
I will relearn to know myself- to be okay with my own company again after months of living in peace until he came.
I cannot say that I love him, the feeling is genuine, I feel sayang yes (lol sayang meaning love but it differs from cinta so it is not love- Yet?). We will meet sooner than we both expect and the circumstances will be better than it is right now.
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I've been debating making this because this is definitely not what my blog is known for and I was worried that people wouldn't want to see it, but with the amount of shit im seeing on twitter it's compelled me to make this because I'm so frustrated.
I feel like I could make 100 posts about 'Cancel Culture' and it wouldn't be enough, so I'm just going to focus on what caused me to write this tonight - the Tommy situation. *Warning for a VERY long post below*
To be clear, Tommy has been in 'hot water' on twitter for the past couple weeks, roughly starting with the KSI collaboration where he made a joke about dream stans.
Last week, when the SBI 'exposing account' got made and twitter hyped it up, someone made a Tommy account and made a thread of things he needed to be '''educated''' on: https://twitter.com/idktommyinnit/status/1379158964148002821?s=20
I'll let you read it for yourself (and come to your own conclusion) but to me.... half of this stuff does not require a twitter thread? Breaking it down accusation by accusation:
1) 'The Mexican accent' - the clips show he is clearly only doing it when copying big Q (who famously exaggerates his own accent) and there is zero malicious intent (Big Q is also IN the 3 clips mentioned in the thread, and obviously didn't tell Tommy it was offensive). There's debates in the comments from people who think it is offensive and people who don't, so I'm not trying to pick a side. To avoid accidentally offending anyone, maybe it is best for him to stop, but the way twitter acts as if he was purposefully doing this to offend people is just not true.
2- 'Making a slave joke' - Even saying that feels wrong, because it suggests Tommy is doing something awful. Instead, they are referring to the 'bit' that Tommy, Techno, Tubbo and Ant were involved in, when Tommy and Techno took Tubbo and Ant as their slave. People are taking this vod and using it to accuse Tommy of being insensitive to Black people, but I think people are just assuming the worst. Slavery existed long before the transatlantic slave trade and still exists today. This is a role-play server - Tommy 'forced' Ant to work for him and used the word slave, which to me is exactly what was happening? People 'murder' others on the SMP, people 'kidnap' on the SMP, people are 'terrorists' on the SMP, and all happen without issue. To add, Ant is a WHITE man. Tommy taking a WHITE man as a slave is not something uber problematic.
3- 'His reply to Techno's 'murder is bad' tweet'. - I get people saying that Techno's initial tweet was insensitive, but saying Tommy's agreement to this from almost over a year ago is something notable and worth addressing is just super nitpicky and is clearly only in there to pad out the thread. It also makes me wonder what other CC's interacted with it and if THEY should be cancelled too (according to twitter).
4 - 'The saying slurs' tweet / jokes about 'whats the worst word you know' - This one I can kinda see how people might not like it. However, it's clearly a 'poke' at his friends, making them seem like bad people. To me, its in the same vein as 'Tubbo is a Tory' or when Tubbo shoots back that 'Tommy is a Nigel Farage fan'. They're obviously not, but its making fun of your friends by saying they are, and mockingly making them out out to be bad people.
5- 'Covid jokes' - People are taking jokes he made about him 'having covid' and saying he shouldn't joke about this, even going as far to linking it to asian hate crimes. I don't even know how to explain that that this is just? not a 'cancellable offence'? I'm sorry but if I hear anyone in my family coughing I make a little joke that 'they better not have covid' and I know other people do. I have someone in my family who is extremely vulnerable to Covid and if they caught it, would quite literally die, but I can understand that jokes like these are harmless. The whole internet had a running joke that we were in a 'panoramic' or 'Panera' or 'insert any word that sounds like pandemic.
This thread got a lot of attention and anything he tweeted afterwards was spammed with the link and there were so many people upset that he hadn't addressed it. I saw so many people say how 'upset' and 'disappointed' they were in him.
Going on to today, this happened: https://twitter.com/khasiid/status/1380611890104139776?s=20
I get it, it looks bad. But for context (which the tweet doesn't give), the reply was only up for less than a minute. It was obvious to me, even BEFORE Tommy addressed it in his stream (clip here: https://twitter.com/cowrpse/status/1380640046202593283?s=20 ) that it was a mistake. In the clip, he clearly acknowledges his mistake and seems embarrassed. To me, this situation should just be laid to rest because a mistake does not need this much attention, but twitter disagrees.
In case it wasn't obvious by now, the tide is turning against Tommy and people are less willing to ignore genuine mistakes and assume the worst.
Today, during his birthday stream people were clearly already waiting for him to mess up. Around half way through, he started saying 'finna' out of context and Tubbo joined in. This led to tons of tweets telling him he was misusing AAVE, and while there were plenty of people willing to be patient and educate, there were also people seeing this as an example of him being a 'bad person' and someone who should be 'without a platform'. I think people forget that not everyone has the same internet upbringing as they do. In general, I think its noted that the misuse of AAVE is something that has just recently been brought to attention. I learned about it through tiktok and stan twitter, and I don't think it's unimaginable that a British 17 year old boy (who is not active on either) has never heard of 'African American Vernacular English'.
Just for a fuller picture, today has also brought about another 'criticism' that I just had to address.
1) 'Tommy made a KKK joke' - Like the 'slavery' point, saying this is extremely misleading. It makes people think the worst. Here's the clip: https://twitter.com/ghostburz/status/1380673589612011522?s=20
Here, Tommy and Tubbo are both joking about Tubbo's 'bit' of naming his alt streams 'aaaaaaaaaa', 'bbbbbbb', 'cccccc', etc and how it would've been bad if it was 'kkkkkkkk' (for obvious reasons). That is literally it. It is a less than 20 second clip. Acknowledging that people woulda thought about the 'KKK' is not him 'not understanding Black issues', its a throwaway joke about the obvious.
Lastly, someone on twitter has made a tommyinnit (address asap) doc - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tZEZtBzikS-EYYkssfFtwVOoFqOwCK0zhStLe6H1wCc/edit
I've basically already covered everything in this document, but I wanted to mention how extremely 'guilt trippy' the whole thing is. I struggled to come up with the perfect word for the situation, and I am open to hearing other peoples opinion, but as I have mentioned none of these things Tommy has been accused of were done with malicious intent, and some I believe don't even need addressed at all.
'slavery is a source of astronomical trauma for black people, and isn’t something to be taken lightly if you’re to look into the horrors of the slave trade."
and "Oftentimes they are the last words we hear before we die and it really is not Tommy’s place to joke about words that affect us so negatively."
Are extremely emotional words for a 17-year-old boy to hear on his birthday, for stuff that I believe has been taken out of context and blown out of proportion.
I really feel bad for him, because such a large proportion of twitter (which ofc is the loudest side of the fanbase) is angry at him and is demanding (as the document says) ''either a stream or twitter thread/twitlonger to addressing this' and 'a long and serious apology instead of a short statement pre-stream'.
We all know how twitter works, and unless his apology is perfect (which to me means apologising for stuff that he should't have to, as explained in the thread), twitter will continue with this weird hyper focus on everything he does, and it's not going to end well.
Twitter's mentality of 'putting everything this person has done that could ever be considered problematic' into one neat little thread is so unhelpful and counter intuitive. I got overwhelmed reading some of the stuff people were saying about him, I can't imagine how he feels.
I feel like I have more to say but at risk of writing an essay longer than my actual work I have to do, I'm going to end here.
#this was incredibly cathartic to write#turns out im not just a c! Tommy apologist LMAO#tommyinnit#dream smp#tommyinnit neg#tommyinnit critical#tommyinnit crit#Tommy crit#Tommy neg#twitter neg#cancel culture#mcyt crit#mcytwt crit
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How do I know if I'm being gaslit? What does that mean?
If you are experiencing “gaslighting”, it means that someone is intentionally trying to make you feel like you are irrational and insane. They will try to convince you that you can’t trust your own judgement, even about things that you experienced firsthand. The internet tends to use the term ‘gaslighting’ to describe any kind of lying or arguing, but it’s a lot more complicated than that - when you are being gaslit, it means someone is going out of their way to make you feel like you’re the crazy one who causes all the conflict in the relationship when in reality, it’s the other way around. A person who lies about liking your new haircut or starts an argument with you about whose turn it is to do the dishes is probably not gaslighting you - gaslighting is intentional, repeated, and specifically aimed at undermining your sanity and emotional stability. It is a pattern of abuse, and by definition, it can be very difficult to recognize and escape from.
Examples of gaslighting include things like:
Insisting that things did not happen the way you remember them, even if you have proof. Maybe you and the abuser had an argument over WhatsApp yesterday, and they called you a slur. You definitely remember that this happened, because it was devastating for you, and you took screenshots in case they deleted the message. But when you confront the other person about what they said, they flat-out deny that it ever happened - in fact, they have no idea where this is coming from, and they feel insulted that you would accuse them of such a horrible thing. They didn’t do that. They’ve never done that. In fact, there was no argument. You made the whole thing up in your head. It doesn’t matter that you have screenshots - they don’t want to see them, because they know that you are totally misunderstanding what’s in them, just like you always do. When you’re being gaslit, the gaslighter doesn’t care about reality. They will flat-out deny what happened and create a new version of events that puts them in a better light, and they’ll insist that you are the one with the faulty memory for not remembering it that way. Even with evidence right in front of their faces, they’ll stick to their guns and say that you are completely inventing things.
Constantly insisting that you overreact and blow things out of proportion. Maybe you saw a notification on your partner’s phone the other day, and you realize that they’ve been texting other people on a dating app. You are obviously very upset about the situation, and you aren’t sure if you even want to stay in the relationship. But instead of apologizing, your partner begins to get angry with you for how upset you are - they insist that you are blowing this completely out of proportion, that you’re being a huge drama queen, that you’re being manipulative and attention-seeking, and that it’s completely insane for you to be upset. Any time you are upset with the other person for genuinely hurting or harming you in some way, they flip everything around - all of a sudden, the conversation becomes focused on how unstable and dramatic you are, and the abuser’s wrongdoing is totally forgotten. The abuser paints a consistent picture of you as someone who freaks out over absolutely nothing and completely overreacts.
Playing up your existing mental illness or insisting that you are mentally ill. Your abuser sees signs of mental illness in everything you do. If you have a history of mental illness, they’ll insist that it’s coming back - if you don’t have a history of mental illness, they’ll invent a new mental illness for you out of whole cloth. Did you get upset because your partner screamed at you? That’s not normal, you’re having huge mood swings and you’re definitely bipolar. Did you stick up for yourself when your partner was trying to control you? That’s definitely not normal, you’re acting just like this person they knew who had severe BPD. Whenever you are upset about the way you’re being treated or just refusing to be controlled, your abuser will play the mental illness card - suddenly, they are the hard-worn, loving caretaker and you are the very sick person who refuses to let them help you. Sometimes, when you are getting especially angry about your partner’s mistreatment, they may flip a switch and go from yelling at you to acting like your caretaker in an instant - they’ll start pleading with you to get help, offering to drive you to the hospital, and begging you to understand that you aren’t well and that they’re just so worried about you. The point, of course, is to completely undermine you as a person; they want you to believe that you are seriously mentally ill and incapable of understanding what’s real and what isn’t.
Positioning themselves as the innocent “victim” in the relationship, even when they are the one mistreating you. To an outside observer, you are the one constantly being terrorized by someone who criticizes and controls you. But your gaslighter doesn’t want you to see it that way - according to them, they are the innocent victim who has to tiptoe around your constant unpredictable mood swings. They’ll claim that they try so hard to help you and avoid setting you off, but you’re just so unreasonable - they may even claim that you are the one abusing them. Any time you fight back, stand up for yourself or have a negative reaction to their abuse, they will find a way to frame things so that your response is the real issue, and not the abuse that provoked it. If they pinned you against a wall and you pushed them off you to get away, they will flip the narrative on you - they’ll swear up and down that they were just gently trying to keep you from hurting yourself when you violently attacked them. Somehow, every confrontation you have about your partner’s bad behaviour turns into you apologizing and feeling bad, even when you went into the conversation being pretty sure that you did nothing wrong.
Intentionally turning friends and loved ones against you. A gaslighter will sometimes try to recruit your friends and family to “their” side, turning them against you. They will tell your loved ones all about your supposed mood swings, “mental health issues” and how difficult you are being, in an effort to win sympathy and destroy your credibility. The idea is that when you turn to your friends to say “my partner freaked out on me over something small last night”, they’ll respond with “mmmm, your partner already told us this story and they gave a very different version of what happened. It sounds like you’re leaving a lot out to make yourself sound better. Your partner says you’ve been acting weird lately, what’s going on with you?” It’s much easier to warp someone’s perception of reality if you can convince their friends and family to reinforce the fake reality that you’ve created.
Dramatically misrepresenting your motives. A gaslighter will find ways to “prove” that you’re the kind of person they say you are, regardless of what you do. Even if you do something nice for them, they can find ways to twist things to suit their narrative. Did you buy them an expensive birthday present because you care about them? You’re clearly being manipulative and trying to bribe them somehow. Did you clean the whole house for them because you wanted them to be able to enjoy coming home to a clean living space? Nonsense, this was clearly you being passive-aggressive and trying to shame them for not being as clean as you. Your actions end up not mattering - no matter how hard you to try to prove that you aren’t the difficult, terrible person that your gaslighter says you are, they will always find ways to misrepresent your motives and lie about your intentions so they can turn your innocent behaviour into whatever they want it to be.
Being gaslighted is an immensely stressful experience - it’s designed to make you feel crazy, and if you’re subjected to it for a long time, that’s exactly what will happen. It’s unbelievably stressful to be in a position where you feel like you cannot trust your own mind or make rational decisions. And when that stress inevitably starts to affect your mental health, that becomes further evidence that your abuser is correct and that you’re the crazy one. It can be extraordinarily difficult for a victim of long-term gaslighting to escape from their situation, because they genuinely start to believe that they are the problem in the relationship and that they’re lucky anyone will put up with them.
If you suspect you are being gaslit, there are some things you can do to recognize the issue and break free from it:
Keep meticulous records. Write down the details of conversations and arguments as soon as they happen. Record fights with the audio recorder on your phone. Take and save screenshots of important conversations. Save voicemails. Keep a diary with dates and times of events. Nobody has perfect recall, but if your partner’s version of events consistently doesn’t match your hard evidence in a major way, that’s a pretty good sign that they are twisting the truth to suit their needs.
Talk to a neutral third party. Talk to someone outside the relationship that your partner doesn’t have access to - this could be a friend, a coworker, a neighbour, anyone that you feel you can trust. Turn to an internet group or forum if you have to. Show them the evidence you’ve collected or talk to them about what’s happening, and get a neutral perspective. People who have not been exposed to your gaslighter’s charms will be able to tell you pretty quickly that your situation is not normal.
Think about your past relationships. Have any of your past relationships followed the same patterns as your current one? Has anyone in your past made similar complaints about you? If your last relationship didn’t have these kinds of issues, there’s a good chance that the new person in your life is the problem - not you.
Trust your gut. If you get the sense that something isn’t quite right, don’t ignore those feelings. Remember, you don’t actually have to be certain that you’re being gaslighted to justify leaving the relationship - if your relationship frequently causes you stress and anxiety or makes you feel like you can’t be yourself, something is seriously wrong and it may be time to go.
It’s also a good idea to talk to a mental health professional or a domestic abuse expert if you suspect you are being gaslighted - they are experts at helping your recognize it and come up with strategies to have healthier relationships in the future.
Hope this answers your question!
MM
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Real Friends
Valkyrae & Reader (Male)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: SMAU, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Following an accidental and not very consensual face reveal, Y/N’s dealing the sudden shift of the spotlight on him even more than it was before. Being the big deal he is on social media, the internet has every right to be freaking out. Luckily, he’s got a friend to help him cope with it all.
Requested by @iawaythrown Hii! Thank you so much for your request! I’m so sorry for how long it has taken me to complete your request and post it but here it finally is. I’ve never written a SMAU before so this isn’t the classic SMAU format but I still hope you’ll enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤
Imagine you end a toxic relationship of almost a year and go to bed feeling like a ton of bricks has been lifted off you, like you can finally breathe properly and like you’re finally getting a taste of freedom. The very freedom you chose to lose by getting in the toxic relationship in the first place. Of course, I didn’t know it was toxic at the time, probably cause it wasn’t, but it gradually turned into a nightmare.
A nightmare that keeps haunting me even after I thought I had put an end to it.
Apparently, that was wishful thinking cause I woke up this morning to find an unbelievable number of notifications and messages from friends, family and my manager and associates. Being in the music industry as a faceless creator, I keep my circle tight and it only consists of people I can trust so to see them all freaking out at me at once, even the most level-headed ones, freaked me out too. Quickly, I opened the first notification I reflexively tapped on and it opened a post in which someone had tagged me.
A picture taken of me while I was asleep, no doubt one taken by my ex. That being said, I think we can all have a guess at who posted it in the first place. I didn’t listen to my manager when he told me to not allow anyone I trust 1000% into my inner circle. I was foolish and at the peak of my career, feeling on top of the world and feeling invincible which was rare for me. I’ve always been insecure about many things in my life, growing up with a lot of judgy people made me be that way. Not to mention that I didn’t want to be the victim of the internet’s racism either. People turn a blind eye most of the time, but it’s still there, it still exists and looms over all social media platforms, disturbing people’s peace left and right.
You see, I didn’t want people to have an opinion of my art based on my appearance or associations with other creators. I’m pretty good friends with many content creators, especially in the gaming industry, but I’ve never wanted to be put in a box as one of the many friends of someone famous. I made a name for myself without anyone knowing who I am exactly.
And now they all know because of this photo that my ex sent to float down the rivers of hungry social media:
Damn am I gonna get an earful from my manager or what. It’s still rater early though and I’m really not about to deal with this drama on a caffeine-free brain so if there are any calls, emails or messages that need answering - and yes, there are PLENTY of them - they’ll all have to wait until I feel like dealing with them. I’m glad I don’t have to keep up this unbothered charade at home since I live alone cause I seriously don’t feel ok with this. I mean, I could probably report it, but what use would that be when my brand now has a face and a huge chunk of my privacy has already surfaced against my will.
As I sit in my kitchen, sipping my coffee, I finally gather the nerve to at least scroll through the notifications that I’ve received. Fans reaching out, relatives, friends, pissed off people that are there just to exist and try to disturb my peaceful existence but all they’re gonna get is a hard DELETE from me. I have offers on top of offers for modeling pending, waiting on my response. I’ve never considered it, being a faceless creator and all, but my manager will definitely want to milk some cash from this too. That thought makes me sigh in defeat.
I have no one to blame but myself for trusting my ex. No one made me do it, no one made me let them in, but I still did, fucking myself over insanely. Just like they’ve now fucked me over.
Amongst the sea of notifications and yet to be opened messages, one in particular stands out and makes me do a double take. It’s a message from my friend Rae - Valkyrae, as she’s known online. She’s one of those gamer friends I mentioned earlier, probably the one I’m closest with. Her and I talk on the regular so seeing a message from her in my inbox is nothing unusual so I wonder why that was the one that stuck out to me. Regardless, that’s the only one I feel like opening and replying to at the moment.
V ~ Hey Y/N, you doing ok? This all must be really hard on you so don’t feel obligated to reply. Do so when you can or want to. I’m here if you wanna talk
Of course Rae would be the one to know how I truly feel in a situation like this. I can act and cover up all I want but she knows exactly what’s underneath the surface of my façade. That third eye friends have for each other, it’s incredible.
Me ~ Doing ok. Wasn’t expecting to wake up to this but now that millions of people know what I look like it feels oddly bittersweet, you know? Like I don’t have to go out of my way to hide anymore but I’m also gonna miss that privacy I had while I was a phantom
Me ~ On the upside: people want me to be a model now XD
My message goes to Seen almost write away, the Typing icon appearing shortly after the messages were read. I wait for Rae’s reply, sipping my slowly cooling coffee with little interest due to how invested I am in our conversation. If there’s a person who can make light of this situation, it’s Rae, no doubt about it.
V ~ I know what you mean. It’s not gonna be easy to adjust to but you will get used to it eventually. I’m sure you’ll even grow to like it. Promise you, it’s not that scary to be exposed, there’s literal millions of people who support you wholeheartedly :)
V ~ Us, your friends, are here too! Never forget that, we’ve always got your back, Y/N!
V ~ Oh and you really should be a model! Whoever’s saying that has got the right idea. Maybe don’t fear this new change, but embrace it! Take this new turn in your life confidently. Sure, it was out of the blue, but do you really want the person who exposed you to feel the satisfaction of bringing you down? That doesn’t sound like you at all tbh
The epiphany strikes me as soon as Rae’s words sink in as I read them. She’s 100% right. The last thing I want is for my ex to think they’ve won. I refuse to give them the pleasure of tasting victory on the expense of my mental health and career progress. In fact, imma show them just how much they benefited me. But first...
Me ~ Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this eye-opener
Me ~ I owe you one <3
I sure as hell owe her one, but for now I have other battles to win.
Rifling through my gallery, I find one more recent picture and without a shred of doubt or hesitation, I go straight to Instagram to post it.
~ “Since y’all were curious...And since y’all wanna see me model, you’re welcome” ~
Within seconds likes and comments start flowing in like a riptide, taking over my phone that, despite being charged all night, is already at half of its battery life.
I refresh the page with the post to look at the new comments that have come through, all supportive and complimenting me, some are real thirsty and some are incredibly kind. And even in that sea, her comment still sticks out to me, making me grin like an idiot.
“That’s what I was talking about! Work it, Y/N!“
#valkyrae#valkyrae x reader#valkyrae x y/n#valky#rae x reader#rae#valkyrae imagine#valkyrae fanfic#valkyrae fanfiction#valkyrae smau#smau#rae x y/n#rae fanfic#rae fic#rae fanfiction#among us#amigops#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#fandom#fan#social media au#requests open#x reader#request#reader
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Hi :) Are you following the zheng shuang scandal? Would you say that her career is pretty much over now? The rate the news has been unfolding is so crazy to me. It’s only been 3-4 days. Was wondering if the gov would handle her matters personally.
Hello Anon! Yes, I’ve followed the news about the actress, primarily because it offers insight on how the current administration deals with stars exhibiting what it deems as “immoral” behaviour. As of today (2021/01/26), it’s difficult to imagine her career will survive at all. While she isn’t the first to be categorised as a “bad-history entertainer” (劣迹藝人), she’s the first to be explicitly banned by the National Radio and Television Administration (NRTA; 國家廣播電視總局), the department that controls—and censors—content of all radio, television, satellite, and Internet broadcasts in the country. Before, the NRTA didn’t publicise the names of the entertainers the government no longer wishes to see, which allows a possibility for reversal in a few year’s time if the “bad-history” wasn’t too damaging, and production companies are willing to take a risk and produce shows with the entertainers that may be difficult to pass the censorship board. But with such a high profile announcement, the government’s stance is unlikely to turn around in a foreseeable future.
Hmm. Let’s backpedal a little to get everyone on track. Before, I’ve shared some info re: the censoring of books, of audiovisual media. What if the government decides to “cancel” an entertainer instead? How does it do it? What are the standards?
The actress’s downfall is a (sad) example.
I shall skip names, the gossipy elements. Whether she made mistakes or not, no one deserves having their private matters exposed and sensationalised like this; no one should have to undergo such a humiliating, public trial. Essentially, the heart of the story goes as follows: the actress, a romantic-lead type who has been popular for several years, secretly got married. On 2021/01/18, her estranged husband claimed on Weibo that the couple had two children using US-based surrogate mothers, and the actress had abandoned the children in the US under his care. Meanwhile, his friend provided an audio from approximately the 7th month of the surrogate pregnancies, at which time the marriage was already falling apart. In the audio, the actress expressed dismay that abortion was no longer possible; her family talked about abandoning the newborns at the hospital or giving them up for adoption.
The next day (2021/01/19), the actress responded. She didn’t deny the existence of her surrogate children and claimed that she had been extorted. More importantly, she said the following:
“身為藝人我深知我國疫情的防控與重視。** 在中國國土之上我沒有違背國家的指示，在境外我也更是尊重一切的法律法規。”
“Being an artist, I deeply understand the attention my country (China) has placed on controlling the epidemic. On China’s soil, I didn’t do anything that violates the directives by the government. Outside the country, I’ve been even more respectful of all laws and regulations.”
This apparently hit a nerve of the administration. On the same day (2021/01/19), the Communist Party’s Central Political and Legal Affairs Commission (CPLAC; 中央政法委) — one of the most powerful commissions that oversees the entire legal enforcement system of the government — published an opinion piece , in which it said:
但[女星姓名]的回应，却通篇强调自己没有违法，丝毫没有任何悔过、道歉的意思。…
But the response of (name of the actress) insists that she didn’t violate any laws, doesn’t show a hint of remorse, regret…
要知道，在我国代孕行为是被明确禁止的。… 作为中国公民，因为代孕在中国被禁止，就钻法律空子就跑去美国，这绝不是遵纪守法。…
It should be known, that in our country, surrogacy is explicitly prohibited … as a PRC (People’s Republic of China) citizen, to use a legislative loophole and go to the US due to the ban of surrogacy in China is absolutely not obeying the law…
要知道，没有营养的炒作带不来长久流量。公众人物的魅力，来自其高尚的职业操守、良好的社会形象、文质兼美的优秀作品，而不是疯疯癫癫、任性胡闹、缺爱卖惨的“人设”。作为公众人物，几度疯狂游走在法律边缘，把这样错乱的世界观、价值观、人生观，置于众目睽睽之下，贻害世风，这绝不是无辜！
It should be known, that hype devoid of significance will not bring in traffic (click rates). The charisma of public figures comes from their noble professionalism, good social image, high quality works in character and content, and not from “personalities” rooting in craziness, petulance, mischief, the selling of one’s lack-of-love and misfortunes. As a public figure, to wildly roam at the edge of the law, to place such wrong and chaotic world views, values and life perspectives in the public eye, to cause harm to the morals of society — that is definitely not innocence!
Things to note here:
1) The CPLAC reacting within a day of the actress’s statement ~ unlikely enough time for teasing out / verifying the facts or truth of the matter.
2) The implication that Chinese citizens must follow Chinese laws, even when they’re overseas. (What about, for example, same-sex marriages?)
3) These words that, IMO, bordered on insult: “craziness, petulance, mischief, the selling of one’s lack-of-love and misfortunes”.
The actress’s career was hanging by a thread with this opinion piece. State-controlled agencies chimed in, many of which echoing CPLAC’s stance that surrogacy is explicitly prohibited in China. By night time of 2021/01/19, rumours abounded that multiple media companies had already listed the actress as a “bad-history entertainer” and would be shelving all her works and cancelling all her scheduled appearances. Prada terminated her endorsement.
The final drop of the hammer happened a day later, in the evening of 2021/01/20. The NRTA issued a statement that explicitly named the actress and contained the following lines:
代孕不是私事，与法不合，有违社会主义公德。…
Surrogacy isn’t a private matter. It doesn’t agree with the law, violates the civility of socialism…
从事广播电视和网络视听的演艺人员尤其是知名艺人，作为公众人物，有很大的社会影响力和示范作用，应当自觉践行行业自律准则，严格律己修身，严私德，讲大德，守公德。
Artists who work in TV and web audiovisual productions, especially famous entertainers, have significant social influence and demonstrative roles as public figures. They should be conscious about the self-discipline required for their industry, be strict in their behaviour and personal virtues, speak of great kindness and defend civility.
行业主管部门的相关政策要求是明确的，严格的。广大人民群众不愿意、不接受、也不允许丑闻劣迹者污染我们的社会公德和公序良俗。
Policies regarding the management of the industry is clear and strict. The public does not want, does not accept, does not allow those with scandals and poor history pollute the civility, the good order and customs of our society.
我们不会为丑闻劣迹者提供发声露脸的机会和平台，一如既往，坚决为广大人民群众提供健康向上荧屏声频。
We will not supply opportunities and platforms for those with scandals and poor history to sound their opinions, to show their faces. Just as before, we are determined to provide audiovisual content that is healthy above all.
And just like this, less than 72 hours after the estranged husband posted on his Weibo, the actress’s career is over. The NRTA, which has The Say on who and what get exposure time on screen, has spoken. The actress had no way of self-defence. Her 11 million followers on Weibo didn’t get to decide whether she’d stay or she’d go.
This is a brutal punishment but for what, exactly? Some netizens have whispered while the others shout their condemnations ~ but I thought…. surrogacy isn’t illegal?
And they’re correct: surrogacy isn’t explicitly outlawed in China, despite what CPLAC and other state agencies has claimed. In 2001, the Ministry of Health banned medical institutions and health care workers from "practicing any form of surrogate technology". However, no laws have ever passed that prohibit individuals from commissioning or providing surrogacy services—especially when the services are overseas.
The actress, therefore, wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t do anything that violates the directives by the government on China’s soil. Her “crime” of using surrogate mothers was, at worst, a legally grey area. For years, China has had a booming, semi-underground surrogacy market, their client base including older parents who wish to have another child after the country relaxed its birth limit (the so-called “one-child policy”) in 2015, infertile couples, and to a lesser extent, the LGBT+ community. Blued, China’s most popular gay social networking/dating app, has offered overseas surrogate services for several years that connect their clients with US-based surrogates. It pulled the services after the actress’s incident.
But all that doesn’t matter. People in China understands this: the law book is there, but those in power at the moment always have the final word ~ and that word doesn’t have to match the legal codes, or the previous final words of their predecessors. As for the moral outcry re: the actress having wished to abort / give up her unborn children, it’s worth mentioning abortion has long been used to to enforce the country’s decades-long birth limit policies, and forced, violent late-term abortions were not unheard of. Many people in China are also aware of that.
But again, it doesn’t matter.
I’ve described the government’s reactions in detail because they put in words the expectations it has of its entertainers. Entertainers in China are expected to not only obey the laws, but also have proper world views, (moral) values and life perspectives (collectively called 三觀, literally, “three views”) as defined by the government. The state has also made clear that such expectations grow with the fame of the entertainers.
Entertainers at the top of the c-ent industry, especially the idol types with many young fans, are therefore expected to get things right. These opinion pieces are reminders that the administration keeps a close eye on them, can “cancel” them with a few words if they fail.
The term for “canceling” an entertainer is 封殺 (literally, “seal and kill”).
The actress isn’t the first to be “cancelled” by the government. The first time the NRTA issued a directive regarding “poor-history entertainers” (劣迹藝人) was in 2014, which essentially called for shutting out any entertainer with a history of bad behaviours. It demanded all production companies, TV stations, online media companies and theatres to stop producing / broadcasting audiovisual content with these people, citing that TV and film media should be used for “spreading the progressive culture of socialism and promoting socialist core values” (”传播社会主义先进文化、弘扬社会主义核心价值观”). As these entertainers will no longer be exposed to an audience, these directives effectively kill the career of most who are affected.
What makes up the “poor-history” of “poor-history entertainers” then?
- The 2014 edition named drug use and prostitution (including hiring a prostitute) specifically.
- The 2018 edition, an announcement made by a top NRTA official, stated that audiovisual programmes should adhere to the “Four Never-Use” guidelines when inviting guests for their shows. Those guidelines were vague but for the last line: “In addition, the NRTA explicitly requests that programmes should not use entertainers with tattoos; (those associated with) hip-hop culture, sub-cultures (non-mainstream cultures), decadent cultures.” (”另外，总局明确要求节目中纹身艺人、嘻哈文化、亚文化（非主流文化）、丧文化（颓废文化）不用。”)
Some may be asking: wait … hip-hop?
Yes.
It was believed that hip-hop artists were targeted due to a scandal at the time, in which (another) well-known actress had an extra-marital affair with a rapper. Analysis of the rapper’s lyrics found sexism and suggestions of drug use (the rapper later apologised and claimed his “core values” had been distorted due to influence from “black music”.)
As this guideline hasn’t been retracted under any formal capacity, it can still be used to axe any show, shut out any entertainer.
If you’re wondering about SDOC, for example, this again illustrates the need for some … mind-reading skills to navigate life in China. A good way to achieve that without superpowers is to have the right connections to higher-ups, who can offer hints on what can get away at the moment and what cannot (this is true not only for c-ent, but for most business practices in the country; building 關係 guanxi— literally, “relationship”— is a must for those who wants a piece of the Chinese market).
- In 2020, NRTA expanded the “no exposure” rule to live-stream shows on the internet as well as on- and offline charity events, where previously “cancelled” artists had started to find jobs in to make a living. While that notice didn’t further elaborate on what makes “bad history”, the accompanying article in People’s Daily (The State-controlled Newspaper) went into more details. In addition to drug use and prostitution specified in 2014, the article named tax evasion; lying about education levels; *suspected* (涉嫌) extramarital affairs, domestic violence and inappropriate speech.
It’s worth emphasising that many of these activities are not illegal. “Suspected” also means these activities do not have to have happened ~ it’s the impression that they’ve happened that counts. Hence, back to the actress who had surrogate children, not only did it not matter whether surrogacy is actually illegal, it didn’t matter whether the leaked audio was real or taken out of context, or that the babies didn’t end up being aborted / adopted. The article once again stresses that private matters are no longer private for entertainers who are in the public eye as social influencers, and these directives on “poor-history entertainers” — colloquially called “封殺令”, with 封殺 meaning the “seal-and-kill” and 令 meaning command (as in Chen Qing Ling 陳情令) — are there to set the standards, the bottom-line for c-ent. It did call for more specifics in future directives: more guidance on what makes “bad history”, the ways these entertainers can redeem themselves. As of today, however, such specifics have not been provided. As a result, to avoid crossing the NRTA, the media has ended up “overachieving” in certain cases, wiping out the screen time of entertainers who only have a remote chance of being viewed as having “bad history” to play it safe. Last October, for example, a young singer was briefly edited out of all his recorded shows because his parents (not him) was revealed to be deadbeats owing millions in debt.
And so, without a known way out yet, “bad-history” entertainers such as the actress will likely remain “sealed and killed” for a long time. Entertainers recently caught with extramarital affairs ~ a relatively minor “offence” ~ have been missing on screen for 2-3 years, and the heavy-handed treatment by the government this time is likely to put a pause on any companies considering using these people again. Even if they’re finally allowed some degree of comeback, their career prime will be over and and their NRTA “sentence” will likely follow them everywhere they go, which makes their getting face time in any high-profile (high-investment) projects unlikely. Those who must work to make their ends meet will probably end up like so many entertainers who never made it big, or are at the very tail end of their career ~ drifting from city to city singing in local clubs, getting paid poorly and harassed by rude customers...
===
** A side note: In case anyone wonders why she brought up COVID, it’s a similar idea as Gg apologising for “佔用了一些社會公共資源” “occupying social resources” in his first team post after 227 (2020/03/01). For an authoritarian regime that has placed the most attention on maintaining social stability (ie. quelling dissent), disrupting the government’s narrative re: current events and potentially reversing the overall tone the administration is trying to reach in public discourse can be a greater offence than any actual “wrongdoing”. 227, as an incident, was guilty of that.
(And I’m bringing this up because I find this relevant to the safety asks I have in my inbox. Arguments among fans do not themselves render Gg and Dd unsafe, but can become a significant issue if they “occupy social resources”, disrupt the government’s narratives and/or its political machinery in some ways. IMO, 227 took a dangerous turn not because the fans were arguing over a piece of fanfic, but because a group of fans took over the reporting machinery intended to rat out dissidents. It was a mistake that I hope no fans ~ regardless of who they support ~ will repeat again.)
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Coming Out | Sarah Reese
Prompt #1 from Nova’s pride 2021 list
Word count: 2224
***
Sarah always felt like maybe she just wasn’t right. There must be something wrong because she never seemed to fit in. With her absent mother and her father who left as soon as he had the chance, she somehow felt alienated in her own home. Back in public school she never had many friends and always spent her free time with her nose in a book. Popular girls turned their nose up at her comfy clothes and unruly curls, claiming she didn’t put enough effort into her look. As she grew up, her social skills never really felt like they improved, instead Sarah would just mirror the actions of those around her in hopes that they would accept it. Yet she still went through high school being called a freak and being called out for “copying” everyone. It never made sense to Sarah, how people could make friends and converse so easily. She felt like she would sound so cliche whenever she thought about it, stating that she never fit in with the other girls, but it was true.
Sarah knew about her bisexuality from a young age, that was no secret to her. She read the term in a mental health book of all places, while she was hidden in a nook of the middle school library. It was common sense to her, of course she liked more than one gender; who didn’t? She would come to learn that sexuality was a bit more complex than that, though it would take a bit more research. It felt so black and white in Sarah’s mind but a lot of people didn’t agree with it, so she let her sexuality remain a secret for a while.
Still, she had her fair share of crushes on girls and boys in almost every stage of her life. One casual girlfriend in her undergraduate program was still the only real experience Sarah had though; until Joey at least. Neither relationship went very far, either due to Sarah’s confusion with all things social or the lack of spark there. She was so busy with school and work, and her partners in both situations just didn’t feel a connection after some time. Joey was an odd one in particular and Sarah wasn’t sure if it had been more of a him thing or her inexperience that ended it. It was weird and the end didn’t hurt as much as it maybe should have.
Her autism diagnosis was not a shock to her, though it had been to her mom. The week of her 16th birthday, Sarah had made a doctor's appointment and asked to be screened. It was the first time she could make medical decisions on her own and she wanted to know already, even though deep down she had a logical hunch. Years of research and even self-screening through countless medical journals had told Sarah she was probably autistic, so she wasn’t too surprised when she got an official diagnosis less than two years later. It was sensical to her really, the way she thought and felt and acted was so different to everyone else, and an actual label made her feel so seen. This was part of why she didn’t fit in, it wasn’t her fault it was the inaccessibility of normal life that made things so much harder. Her mother didn’t agree, she hated the idea of having a neurodivergent daughter; though she would never say it. Instead any mention of autism was ignored and Sarah’s needs were not accommodated until the day she moved out. It was how life at home had always been, as unfortunate as it happened to be.
There was something else Sarah should have seen coming, with her knowledge that she wasn’t the same as everyone else. Autism often came with a disconnect between the definition of gender and one’s identity and Sarah was no exception, since social constructs almost always went over Sarah’s head. She never felt right calling herself a girl and her brain always had a half second protest whenever she ticked the “female” box on any form. Still, she tried not to think about it too much. She didn’t feel like a boy either, she knew that for certain, so that was that.
It was, in fact, not that. As she got older and the internet queer community expanded, Sarah was exposed to more research and experiences of others in her shoes. Genders outside the binary existed, it was made clear to her, and pronouns were not restricted to those assigned at birth. It was a whole new realm of possibility and it scared Sarah more than she was happy to admit. She wasn’t a girl and she knew it, yet she also wasn’t not a girl. It was so confusing, which is why the thought was almost always pushed to the back of the mind, hidden away to worry about another day.
Curiosity got the better of her one day, though, after reading a forum about neopronouns. Someone was talking about their experience using she/they pronouns, stating that it helped them relate to her identity way more than birth assigned pronouns ever had alone. The poster had noted that they always felt detached from femininity and it was almost as if they were culturally female yet mentally out of the binary. It was that comparison that clicked with Sarah and she couldn’t stop herself from testing the theory.
“Sarah uses she/they pronouns,” she stated tentatively, “Their name is Sarah and she uses she/they pronouns…”
The instant gratification shocked her a bit, unsure of why it felt so right to say such a sentence. A few minutes passed as she sat in silence in front of the laptop, mulling it over. Something about the dual pronouns felt freeing, the idea of not being bound to just the ones she was so used to using. Maybe it would be okay to try them out for a while… just to see if it stuck and still felt as validating as it did alone in her living room.
Telling someone was the next step, though, to see if they were actually comfortable with these pronouns being used about her. Sarah was apprehensive, it would be scary to ask someone to use something different, especially after all these years at Med. Still, she had no reason to fear her friends and colleagues, they should be able to accept Sarah’s wishes.
It took a couple weeks before they were ready to bring it up, after a lot more self reflection and some serious deliberation. She thought this felt right, using new pronouns like this. They weren’t too sure if non-binary was the right label for her, but it didn’t matter in that moment. One step at a time was enough and really there was all the time in the world. So one day while a group of them were at April’s apartment for dinner, Sarah decided to speak up during a lull in conversation.
“Um… Can I ask you all something?”
Eyes were on them in a second, with a chorus of nods and agreement following almost immediately. She trusted everyone there, it was only April, Noah, Natalie, and Connor. Connor had brought Doctor Bekker too but Ava had always been nice enough to Sarah so she wasn’t worried. Besides, the rumour was that Ava wasn’t straight, if Sarah chose to listen to gossip, so she of all people should understand.
“What’s up, Sarah?”
Smiling shyly at Noah, who had looked at her curiously when he spoke, they nodded slowly before starting, “Uh… well I have done a lot of thinking lately… I want to try using she/they pronouns. So I want to ask you all to use both sets of pronouns for me.”
The silence scared her at first, instant regret setting in. Sarah wasn’t sure if that was bad or not, especially with the confusion on Nat’s face. Surprisingly enough it was Ava who broke the silence and Sarah caught the sharp nudge to Connor’s ribs that the surgeon gave before speaking.
“Okay, will do. Thank you for trusting us with that, Sarah, especially me since I know we don’t speak often.”
It was the nonchalant words from the blonde that helped them relax a bit, looking at Ava in silent thanks. She glanced at the rest of them shyly, hoping the worry knitting her brow together wasn’t too apparent.
“Um,” Natalie’s interjection was the most feared, though Sarah hated to admit it. It’s not that Nat couldn’t be trusted, she was just a little new to things out of the cisgendered-heteronormative binary and it made Sarah worried she wouldn’t be immediately accepting.
“What exactly does that mean?”
Sarah stifled a sigh of relief, an explanation was understandable and not the worst answer, “So basically I am comfortable with both she/her pronouns like you use but also they/them pronouns in the singular sense. With me you can use them interchangeably, I just like both as opposed to just she/her. I don’t... completely identify as female, I guess you could say.”
“Oh!” Noah nodded, “Like ‘Sarah said she was going to the lab, they will be back soon’?”
Sarah smiled at his excitement to understand, “Exactly like that.”
“It might be hard to adjust at first…”
“But we will still try,” April added to Natalie’s words with a pointed look, “Thank you for telling us, Sarah. We will do whatever you need to feel comfortable.”
“Reese?” When Sarah looked across the table at Connor he continued, “These two sets of pronouns, do you want us to use both at the hospital or just the ones everyone knows you as?”
“Oh yeah,” Ava agreed, “Don’t want to out the resident before they’re comfortable.”
Hearing someone else use “they” while referring to Sarah made them inexplicably happy, unable to stop the little happy hand flap she often tried to mask as she looked at Ava again. The surgeon seemed to notice the grateful glance and she nodded, a charming smile on her lips. Somehow it helped that Ava wasn’t close to her, maybe because her quick acceptance made the whole situation feel safer.
“Um, maybe just keep it between all of us at first,” Sarah answered slowly, “I’m gonna tell Maggie and Doctor Charles eventually, Ethan and Will too, but I want to give it some time before everyone else knows.”
“Got it,” Connor agreed and raised the glass of whatever alcohol he had brought with him, “Cheers to Reese’s self discovery, then.”
That made quite a few of them laugh, especially Sarah, because it eased the tension. It was still a bit weird for them, she knew that it would be an adjustment, yet no one had stormed out or gotten upset so it was a win in their book. It might take some more explanation for some time and some gentle correction, from what she knew, but it was a good start. When the conversation drifted back to lighter matters, talk of work and jokes about other things, it felt like a weight had been lifted off Sarah’s shoulders. It wasn’t perfect but they felt accepted for the most part, which helped.
When April hugged them before everyone left for home, Sarah just thanked her quietly. It went without saying that arguably her closest work friend accepted them wholeheartedly and they would probably talk about it again one on one. April just hugged Sarah a bit tighter, a reassuring murmur that things would be just fine reaching Sarah’s ears.
It was a clear night when they stepped out of the apartment complex, stopping to admire the stars for a moment before heading to her car. A call of her name had Sarah turning, though, and a familiar blonde was hurrying to catch up with her.
“Sarah, hey,” Ava’s friendly smile was visible thanks to the street lights, “I just wanted to tell you I’m proud of you for doing that. I don’t know if anyone has said it to you but I know how hard coming out can be, even as an adult. If you ever need to talk to anyone, I’m around, okay?”
“I-” Sarah felt her cheeks redden a little and they were grateful for the dim lighting that may have hid it a bit, “Thank you, doctor Bekker, that means a lot.”
“Please, call me Ava,” she laughed a little before glancing behind them, “I need to drive Connor home before he tries to walk, I’ll see you at work maybe?”
Sarah pursed their lips, stifling a laugh herself as she watched the other surgeon, clearly more than tipsy, hovering behind them looking lost, “See you then.”
“We can maybe get coffee some day,” Ava added nonchalantly as she turned to walk away, “Bye, Sarah.”
Sarah was left hovering by her car, the blush having returned to settle on her face. Once again their social skills evaded them, wondering if that was an allusion to a date or if Ava was simply being friendly. Either way, the immediate acceptance and friendly gesture from the supposedly cold and competitive surgeon was enough to make her giddy, shocked with how easily things went over. Not only did Sarah successfully come out to half her friends, but they may have made a new one in the process. It wouldn’t always be easy, she knew that, yet this was a situation that they decided to count as a good experience; all things considered.
It made her feel like maybe there had never been anything wrong with them at all. They were Sarah, that’s all, and in that moment maybe she was more than enough for the right people.
#am i projecting?#i guess we’ll never know#:]#anyway#I wasn’t going to make reesker happen but my little gay brain said it’s pride month#<3#the pronoun thing was hard because I wanted to use she/they from the start but that would have spoiled the build up#i hope i did this justice#she/they sarah rights babey#sarah reese#this is so bad and so unedited <3#but it’s also the most I’ve written in weeks
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Luz SMASH!! (Just Kidding!) An Owl House AU Idea!
Hello all, this here is an AU Crossover Idea for, you guessed it, the Owl House! This idea crosses the Marvel Universe with that of the Owl House, helped by the fact that both are run through Disney, it isn’t a full on crossover, as only specific elements are supposed to be relevant. Now, on to the background information and premise! Everybody clap your hands!!
First off, in the Marvel Universe, Gamma Radiation, the highest known form of radiation and incredibly deadly besides, comes in a third variant that possesses Mutagenic properties, causing Superpower bestowing mutations in those exposed to it, and live that is. This third form is the emissions of an ancient existence known as “The One Below All,” a malevolent mindless monstrosity that sits below all of existence, and is the gestalt of all hate, pain, negativity, and suffering, as well as the physical embodiment of the concept of destruction itself. For all that The One Below All is dangerous, it lacks both a mind and a personality of its own, needing sufficiently malevolent and outright evil individuals to act as hosts for it and give it a mind and personality to work with.
But I’m getting sidetracked. One of the big themes of The One Below All is that those who wield powers from his Radiation, known as Gamma Mutates, are incapable of truly using their powers for good. I call bull on that. Destruction isn’t evil, it just IS, nor can The One Below All decide how those who wield his power decide to use it, and while certainly some have chosen the path of wickedness, others have counted themselves among the most powerful of heroes, such as the Hulk himself! As I see it, destruction and creation are intrinsically linked; for something to be created, their must be room for it to inhabit, ergo, something must be destroyed. The power of the Gamma Mutates is the power to create Change, whether for good or evil is irrelevant. So, I thought, why not give the power of a Gamma Mutate to someone already known as a harbringer of change, chaos, and destruction of the prior status quo. I’m talking about Luz Noceda ya’ll!!
Luz's Home Earth is a variant of the Marvel Earth, minus the Mutants who are one world down the metaphysical scale, and she's well acquainted with the unusual, the bizarre, and the super, if only due to TV and the Internet filling her in. This version of Luz has always had her head in the clouds, being slightly off-put by how little the Supernatural events going on in the world touch her home town. (After gaining her abilities she gets a little more appreciation of why that sleepiness is usually a good thin)
Luz gained her Gamma Mutate abilities due to her mother, Camila, helping with a Gamma Radiation-based clinical trial years prior. For the longest time, Luz's latent abilities lied dormant, only emerging when she enters the Isles, and gradually at that, only becoming noticeable when she tries to free the prisoners in the Conformatorium and actually making slight headway before her arms give out. Luz's Gamma Mutate abilities manifest, at first, as a form of absorption and emission, allowing her to take in energy and emit it as her own, with a Gamma Charging twist. The big issue is two-fold, in that Luz both has very poor control over the ability and cannot reliably absorb or emit at will just yet, and she also personally dislikes her powers, as she feels they undermine her dream, as well as her goal, of being a Witch, often looking for excuses not to use them or practice with them.
When she finally manages to get over her hang-ups, Luz also discovers that she has the power to temporarily convert others into Gamma Mutates themselves by emitting raw Mutagenic Gamma Radiation directly into their bodies. By temporarily, I mean it lasts from around a minute to an hour, depending on how strenuous their activity is, and she has no control how their Mutate Status will manifest in the slightest. Her absorption ability only works in the form of directed energy, such as a flame, light, or electricity, things of that nature; she absolutely CANNOT absorb another person's energy directly from their body, and trying to do so causes her body to emit large amounts of Gamma uncontrollably as a result.
Her distinctive signature trait that marks her as a Gamma Mutate, that is to say the Green coloration the vast majority of Gammas typically have in some form, manifests in her skin and hair, but does so in an odd way, fluctuating in response to her energy stores, causing her to become more green in color the more overall energy she has absorbed into her body so far, and fading back to normal the less she does. Because she can absorb Light as an energy source, Luz always has a slightly green tint to her skin and hair, even when at her absolute lowest energy store, but most people can't actually tell, only being able to note that something is off about her appearance but can't figure out WHAT it is.
Luz’s powers have a REALLY bad habit of kicking in at literally the worst possible moment, such as releasing a sudden burst of energy out of nowhere when she or her friends need to be stealthy, or accidentally absorbing a very much needed spell cast by Eda or one of the others when they are in a pickle.
Like in Canon, Luz lies to her Mami about going to Camp, but makes a better effort of staying in contact with her in a more meaningful capacity than just passing emojis at her. She also reveals the fact that she is a Gamma Mutate to Camila, in the hopes of gaining an explanation as to HOW she’s one, as well as any advice she can give on keeping herself or others safe.
Other MU elements are most definitely present, for one thing, do to some of the chaotic events resulting in conflict between known heroes, magic is a known force on her Earth, so Luz KNOWS magic is possible, she just doesn't know how, and her mother has been adamant about her not trying to learn on her own, mostly out of concern for her safety. I would say that Eda is familiar with Doctor Strange and other Earth-born Magic users, and may even have some practice with their methods, if only to stick it to Belos and only in the form of Cantrips and the like, as well as being more familiar overall with Earth and Human Culture, as opposed to her just above baseline knowledge that most Boiling Islanders have canonically. She's still not totally savvy, but she's heads and shoulders above her Canon self, in that she genuinely knows what the things she's selling actually are, but still sells them as random garbage anyhow just because the weird and insane explanations she gives are more likely to get her sweet, sweet profits! Eda, in addition to her Con-Woman gig, was tasked by the Magical Orders of Earth to monitor and intercede with Magical Matters on the Isles as price for allowing to keep her portal and her scams running, as well as charged with keeping the Portal as far from Belos' grubby mitts as she can.
If you all have any questions, comments, or anything, feel free to let me know!
#the owl house#owl house au#Luz SMASH (Not Really) AU#marvel#marvel comics#hulk#gamma mutate#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#camila noceda
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The Aftermath of Fanfiction Authors with Reba Interview
Before You Read the Interview
I contacted Reba after she posted a Reddit thread titled “When a fic becomes too popular and the author deletes their account and/or work. Explained.” on a throwaway account. We discussed details of the interview during December over email, then started the interview in January. This interview is not associated with a project and is its own independent work. Reba has chosen to remain anonymous.
She provides insight on potential reasons to why fanfiction authors abandon their work from the perspective of a fanfiction reader. She also answered general fandom questions and questions about herself so readers could understand her background.
Charmedseoul is a BTS-focused anonymous historian who documents fandom history using Fanlore. If you would like to be interviewed to help document perspectives in fandom, please contact her on Twitter @charmedseoul or on Tumblr @charmedseoull.
Parts of this interview have been edited with links to Fanlore and Wikipedia pages for understanding. Any information in [brackets] serves for further clarity for readers and elaboration of information.
Now presenting the interview with Reba, long-time fanfiction reader and participant in fandom:
When did you first join fandom culture?
I joined fandom culture in 2014. I feel like fandoms really peaked during this time. [Presence of SuperWhoLock and other Tumblr specific fandoms.]
What fandoms are you in? How have your experiences in them been?
I will be honest and say fandom culture isn’t for me- so I can’t say I’m active in any fandoms (I’m just a silent consumer) but growing up I was a fan of music artists mostly; Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande… I loved the IT 2017 movie adaptation for a long time (I still do), and early 2020 is when I got into BLACKPINK, then BTS. My experience with all of these has been good, and maybe that’s because I don’t see any of the drama and arguments online- but I don’t regret any of my past interests because they all made me happy at one point in time.
What do you like about fandoms?
What I like about fandoms is how happy it can make an individual; getting excited for a new music video, smiling at behind the scenes photos… it can bring someone a little joy if they are having a bad day.
What do you dislike about fandoms?
I don’t like stan culture at all; fandom drama, arguing on twitter with strangers to defend an artist who doesn’t even know you… it all seems toxic. While I'm sure healthy stanning does exist, I don't think it's easy to achieve at all.
How long have you been an ARMY? What are your opinions about the fandom? How has your experience in the fandom been?
I became an ARMY in early 2020 when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, so only a year. I really do like the fandom; ARMY is the only fandom I’ve seen where there are so many fans worldwide of all different ages, and that just shows how BTS and their music really is for everyone. There is so much BTS content that there’s never a dull day, so my experience in the fandom has been enjoyable!
Did you ever leave ARMY and take a break then come back?
I’ve never left ARMY, that being said, I’m a newbie and haven’t been here for long.
When did you first start reading fanfiction?
I have been exposed to fanfiction since 2014, but I wasn’t in any fandom back then and started reading fanfiction in 2017.
What do you think the purpose behind fanfiction is?
We mostly read for entertainment but there is definitely a purpose to fanfiction, as for all art. Fanfiction is a great thing for both reader and writers, it can be an outlet for many people, a way to experience things that you don't have a chance to experience in your own life. It also can be a good base ground for people who want to start writing, or for someone who finds reading huge paperback novels difficult. Fanfiction is so easily accessible, you can pull up a story to read or share your work at the press of a button.
As you’ve read fanfiction over the years, do you feel like anything about fanfiction has changed?
Yes! Fanfiction is taken a lot more seriously now, people who write fanfiction treat it like an actual novel with plotting and editing- the quality of fanfiction in general is a lot better. Fandom ships have also changed; when I was a teenager Harry Styles fanfictions were crazy popular, now the fanfics that seem to be more popular are BTS! So that just shows when music evolves, pretty much everything else does too.
As a reader, how do you view authors?
I'm always amazed by fanfic authors because they practically write whole novels for free. Writing can be such a personal thing, and it does take talent; there is a story the author wants to convey, and when a story is told in a beautiful way, it leaves a lasting impact on the reader. I’m sure that must be a euphoric feeling for the author- it means they told their story, and they did it well.
Do you think many other readers share the same view as you?
No, not at all. There are readers out there who don’t really think about the time and effort authors put into their stories. I’ve seen readers expect so much, and criticise something so little. It’s sad- people should be able to write whatever they want, writing is supposed to encourage creativity. Authors shouldn’t have to fear backlash for doing just that. Being creative.
Why do you think so many authors delete/orphan their work after it gains popularity?
When a story gains popularity- it attracts good and bad attention alike. Unfortunately the negative affects us a lot more, it’s just human nature. While authors do put their work out there, I don’t think they are ever prepared for their stories to become so popular. I am sure it is overwhelming and that’s why authors feel the need to distance themselves from it all and delete/orphan their work.
What stories prompted you to start thinking about why authors delete/orphan their works?
I read a story called mixtape (IT movie) and I was around long enough to see chapters be uploaded each week. I also saw the struggles the author went through when their fanfic began to rise in popularity, which eventually led to the story being completely deleted from the internet. So I thought this could have been a one-off since I hadn’t read many fanfictions. I then moved onto BTS fanfiction and decided to read the most talked about ones first, only to see a lot of them were by orphaned accounts (so not just a one-off occurrence!). House of Cards by sugamins was the one that got me thinking, I thought “why would somebody not want to be associated with this amazing writing?!” That’s when I began to do some research and stumbled across your interview with the author!
How do you think backlash for a work harms an authors mental health?
An immense amount of feedback, positive or negative, can take a toll on one person. A lot of authors can be reserved people and they write because they are passionate, as an outlet or just a hobby. So when their work does receive backlash it can be very upsetting- it could make them doubt their reasons and capabilities and affect an author so much they might stop writing all together.
How do you think some authors manage their mental health and not delete a work?
This is a hard question because everyone deals with backlash differently. I know some authors who are not bothered by backlash and they choose to ignore it and move on with their day, and then there are other authors who are more anxious and have to put a lot of measures in place to protect their mental health; from your interview with sugamins they explain how they didn’t want to destroy their work, just distance themselves from it, so that’s always an option.
Taking time away from social media and getting enough rest, it is important to not neglect your well-being. Finding a way to cope when you feel low; animals tend to ground me and improve my mental health- they are loving and don’t judge you for who you are. Maybe you cope by talking with friends, or listening to your favourite song. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps.
At what point with mental health do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?
I think an author starts to consider deleting/orphaning their work when it completely consumes them. It is not healthy to be fixated on something that is no longer bringing you happiness, you need to let it go. If you are an author reading this, just know you are not your feedback, it doesn’t define your existence, okay? Fanfiction should add to your life, not take away from it.
Why do you think some readers invade an authors privacy?
Sometimes, people care more about the author than the work they have created. So when a fanfic has deeply touched a reader and helped them through so much, they want to reach out in any way and tell them so- this can be invasive if the reader is not careful about their approach.
How do you think authors manage this privacy invasion?
Stopping it before it happens; not using your real name, having a separate account for writing, don’t link social media accounts in your works etc. If privacy has already been compromised and a reader is making the author uncomfortable, then disabling comments on their works, making a new social media or changing their accounts to private would be smart. Just knowing how to keep safe online.
At what point with privacy invasion do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?
When you are at risk of being doxed. I think when readers are going as far as finding authors’ personal accounts and messaging their friends- anything along those lines is scary and the reader is going from a supporter to an intrusive stranger real fast.
Why do you think anonymity is important for fanfiction writing?
When your full name is attached to everything you do, people have a very easy way to get back to you. This is why authors keep an anonymous profile, and it is important readers respect that. Most authors don’t want their family, friends, employer etc to see that sort of stuff. It is completely okay to remain professional and keep fanfiction writing separate from personal life.
Do you think fanfiction writing should stay free? Do you think authors should be paid for their work?
I do think fanfiction writing should stay free on the sites they originate from (AO3 for example). However, if the author wants to take their work elsewhere to earn money then I don’t see an issue in that. I am glad you mention copyright law with fanfiction in particular because the author of mixtape (the fanfiction I mentioned earlier) tried to self publish their work while keeping canon names, the author tried to justify it as a parody work and everyone was so concerned that they reported the book until it got removed. I have seen stories on Wattpad become published books to purchase, however, the names had been changed to original characters- I think this seems like a much more logical move to avoid any legal repercussions.
As a reader, how has an author’s work connected with you personally?
I have had works connect with me on a personal level, one in particular is Somebody To Love by LOVERVMINS (orphaned). My standards are impossibly high after reading that fanfic and I don’t think I will ever come across something so beautiful again. Somebody To Love is a taekook fic that was uploaded to AO3 in 2019, the author ended up deleting all their works but thankfully left this particular story up. I was immediately captured by the incredible writing and unique plot; the story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway… I apologise in advance for how long this summary (with spoilers) is, but I think my thoughts are proof of how this story has connected with me so much!
(Spoilers for Somebody to Love by LOVERVMINS. Please feel free to scroll to the next bolded question to avoid spoilers.)
In this story, Taehyung is a successful lawyer while Jungkook is just a student, despite the difference in status and wealth, they are intrigued by one another from the very start. After meeting Taehyung, Jungkook is left feeling confused about himself, the internalised homophobia is strong to begin with but as the chapters progress Jungkook goes from someone who is afraid of society and what people may think, to strong and outspoken. Taehyung plays a fundamental part in this, because if Jungkook were to never meet Taehyung, he wouldn’t have realised who he really was, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to discover his sexuality and fall in love in a time where it was so unaccepting. Taehyung is bold and confident on the surface, giving little regard for anybody other than himself, but his concern for others soon changes after he meets Jungkook, he becomes a better man. He could have had his heart desires- but Taehyung was no longer selfish from those few months he spent with Jungkook, so he stayed with his wife to be a good father.
Taehyung makes Jungkook promise him he will find somebody to love (hence the title), and he does, Jungkook finds somebody to love and he is happy- Taehyung finds this out when they unexpectedly meet a few years later, this is the final time Jungkook and Taehyung see each other… but knowing Jungkook is happy, leaves Taehyung happy.
There are different kinds of love, some last forever, and some just for a chapter of your life. It is clear Jungkook was Taehyung’s forever. And I don’t think Jungkook’s love for Taehyung ever went away, he just found another kind of love like he had promised. Jungkook had to live his life; he couldn’t wait for Taehyung, to leave his marriage in the unforeseeable future, or watch him raise his kids from afar, this shows that even if society were accepting, their circumstances were too far gone- if only they met sooner, or in another life. It makes you imagine a world where they could have been together, it makes you think beyond the story even when it’s ended.
It has been a month or two since I read LOVERVMINS work, and I still feel a pang in my chest every time I think of Taehyung’s letter for Jungkook in the epilogue.
Why do you think others think they have the right to know an authors personal information?
I think in this day and age, everything about a person is on show, so people just expect that sort of information from you. Authors appreciate feedback- but they don't know the reader, their family or what they do for fun. Vice versa. You only see a small glimpse into the authors life, and the stuff you see is what they feel comfortable enough to show. That should be enough.
Do you consider writing an art form?
I do consider writing an art form. Writing is like painting an image in the readers mind. I think it is better than visual art because when you are reading a story, not everyone is going to envision the exact same thing, it is up to the imagination. I think that is what makes it so beautiful- we all collectively love a story, yet, we somehow interpret it differently.
Why do you think Archive of Our Own is the ideal platform for fanfiction writing?
I think Archive of Our Own is ideal for fanfiction writing because they give you many options with your work so you are comfortable- it is easy to remove comments, delete an account, or orphan works while keeping your account etc. It is important authors get control of what happens to their work if they want to leave and go in a different direction.
Do you think other fanfiction writing platforms like Fanfiction.net and Wattpad are ideal or lacking?
I think Wattpad is ideal for younger audiences; it’s more visual with book covers and the layout in general is more appealing, I also feel like the stories on there are targeted for pre-teens. When I first got into fanfiction, I did start on Wattpad because it was easier to navigate. I look back now though and do think it is lacking in terms of quality, a lot of the stories are written for shock value and don’t really make much sense because of that. It is hard to find a story on Wattpad that ticks all the boxes (but not impossible). Wattpad also had a breach with data last summer and everyone’s emails got pwned so that made a lot of people move to AO3. I have never used Fanfiction.net so unfortunately I can’t speak for that one. Overall, AO3 has much more content, you can find a story with ease once you know how to use the site.
How has fanfiction writing affected the people in your personal life?
How did you find out that your sister is writing fanfiction?
My sister wrote a Harry Styles fanfic in 2014 which gathered around half a million reads on Wattpad, she got comments from people telling her how much her fanfic has impacted their lives pretty much every day. My sister and I are close and we share the same friends, I noticed when we would have sleepovers she was always on her phone and never paid attention to the movies we were watching. I think all the numbers did affect her for a moment and it wasn’t until my sister started her exams that she realised she had to put her concentration into those to pass, that’s how she came to the decision to delete the story. I asked her recently if she regrets deleting it and she told me she doesn’t at all, she now looks back and doesn’t think her writing was good back then. So I think that shows authors do know what they’re doing and what is best for them in the long run.
My sister had a one direction fan account on Instagram that had 100k+ followers (insane!), she was always open with her interests and I found out she started writing fanfiction through that account.
What personal reasons do you think authors have for deleting/orphaning works?
The list is endless; maybe the author wrote the story in a bad time in their life and they want to delete it because it reminds them of that time, they could have left the fandom, or they simply do not like their story anymore- they grew up and know they can do so much better. It is okay for an author to grow apart from their work, it shows they are growing as a person too.
Why do you think authors get backlash from writing dark themes?
I think authors receive backlash from writing dark themes because it can be triggering for some and can bring up unpleasant memories.
What do you think are the responsibilities of an author when writing dark themes?
A safe bet would be to tag anything relating to abuse (physical, emotional, etc), mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, suicide, etc), graphic violence and rape/sexual assault. That’s what comes to mind. And if a trigger occurs only in a certain chapter, then having an additional warning in the chapter notes would be helpful.
What do you think are the responsibilities of a reader when reading dark themes?
If dark subjects are included in the tags, don’t read the story if it could trigger you. It is as simple as that. People decide to read the fanfic then get mad at the author for triggering them. I am not trying to insult anybody who has triggers, maybe they read a story and their specific trigger was never mentioned in the additional tags… this is what the ‘chose not to archive warnings’ box is for, with this option, it is handled in AO3’s FAQ that major tags are not necessary. In shirt, this means there may be triggering content in the fic that is not disclosed by the author. Plus, there is usually a pop up banner before you click on a story which reads ‘this work could have adult content. if you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content’. There are so many warnings, you can’t miss them. It is a case of reading at your own risk, you can’t blame the author if you do not like the result.
Do you think authors are facing too much pressure from readers about what themes they write?
I do think authors face unnecessary pressure with the themes they write; they are put on such a pedestal that when they write something that isn’t what the audience want, they receive a lot of negative criticism. Authors, no matter what themes you are writing, there is no need to worry if you are writing for yourself and putting out the content you set out to create.
Why do you think authors write dark themes?
Dark themes are simply an exploration of difficult emotions along with unpleasant events or consequences. Authors write dark themes because it serves a narrative purpose. And authors don’t have to be ‘dark’ people or experience all of these unsettling things to write such content.
Why do you think readers read dark themes?
Dark themes are not for everyone, I personally don’t think there are enough dark works out there. I read dark themes because it interests me more, I want to know how the characters are going to cope with the consequences, or heal from the trauma. Other readers might prefer dark themes for the graphic content, this is fine too. Fictional violence is not real- we all know this, so there is no reason to be terrified.
Why do you think so many authors want to have their work get popular?
People may disagree, but I think it has a lot to do with validation. Subconsciously, authors want people to like their work- a rise in popularity means readers are seeing the authors work, and hopefully taking enjoyment from it. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you realise validation does not equal self-worth. There are people out there who write and do not gain much attention, but that doesn’t stop them from posting their work anyway.
Do you think a work’s popularity is important?
I personally don’t. I read a range of fanfictions- some are super popular, others are not. It is the content I am more interested in, not how many hits/views it has.
Should we judge authors for deleting/orphaning their work?
Not at all! I am sure authors have thought long and hard before coming to their decision.
How should we view situations where authors delete/orphan their work?
For a reader, it can be upsetting when authors delete/orphan their work, especially if there is no possibility of reading that story again. However, we need to show compassion and view the situation from the authors perspective; gaining popularity on a fanfic isn't as pleasant as it might seem, it is much more complicated than that. A lot of feedback, both good and bad, can be overwhelming. Mental health is important, and if that means distancing yourself from something so popular, then it must be done. Privacy can be compromised, people in your real life might find out you write these stories and not be accepting, or readers become invasive which is a scary situation to be in. And a mixture of personal reasons, people are allowed to grow and change and want to distance themselves from things they are no longer proud of.
What do you think authors should be aware of in case their work does get popular?
This is a good question… I think authors need to be aware that with good feedback, also comes bad feedback. You cannot please every single person on this earth, but that is not your job- so do not take it personally.
Do you have any last messages to readers of this interview?
I want to thank you in particular, Charm. This interview is probably the coolest thing I’ll ever get to do for the BTS fandom and I’m so grateful that our paths crossed so we could create this interview together. You are such a kind soul and it has been a pleasure from start to finish.
For the authors reading this interview; I am just a reader, but I do understand how it can be hard for you to continue on when you are going through so many struggles readers don’t get to see. Just know you are appreciated, and you are supported no matter what you decide to do with your works in the future. Having popular works shouldn’t feel like a burden, there are blessings hidden in there- you have made readers feel a rollercoaster of emotions with your talent, you are able to engage with readers around the world, and you have created a beautiful story from nothing… you did that!
For the silent readers like myself: let the authors of your favourite work know how much you loved it (in a respectful way) before it is too late! I so wish I had the chance to tell the author of Somebody To Love how their story broke my heart then healed it again. Treasure the fanfictions you love because they very well could be gone tomorrow!
Thank you for reading this interview. Further below are reminders and information about this interview and Charmedseoul’s Fanlore projects.
Reba has chosen to remain anonymous. No social media or information about her will be released publicly.
This interview was conducted through email from January 31, 2021 to February 1, 2021 with Reba’s consent and protections under Fanlore’s Identity Protection policies and the posting website’s privacy policies. Unauthorized reposting of this interview is forbidden.
Due to the casual nature of this interview, repost of this interview is strictly prohibited. Linking and sharing is appreciated. Translation and unauthorized repost of this interview is forbidden.
Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.
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WHAT WILL JIMIN POST ON JK'S BIRTHDAY 2020?
Interesting question. I get why my Askbox is flooded with it. May thirteen was a disappointment. Most Jikookers were looking forward to a reinforcement of a long established Jikook tradition- well everyone except me and a couple others I think. Y'all don't be paying attention. Lol
Jikook are complex beings and like any complex organism they learn to adapt to situations and surroundings. They are predictable in that way but also they are not. It's paradoxical, I know.
If you paid any attention to what was going on from late March through to June you'd have known there was little to no likelihood May 13 was gonna happen.
And if it had happened, it would have taken on a whole new meaning at least to some of us. But hey, 5/8 right? Sure. Jimin smart. We stan a Bigbrain.
Anywho, tomorrow is not about Jimin or Jikook or any ship. It's about JK. It's about celebrating the gift of life that he is. For all the times he's been hated on, this is the only day out of 365 days that we as a fandom get to put our differences aside and come together to show our love and appreciation for him- I hope.
I don't see why Jimin wouldn't do the same for him. Especially since it's been a long established tradition not just for Jikook but for all the members.
They all celebrate eachother's birthday to varying degrees but at the bare minimum they wish each other a happy birthday. That's the norm.
All the other members will wish JK a happy birthday and that includes Jimim. If you understand why people celebrate others birthday you'll understand this is not complicated at all. So it's not a question of will Jimin post tomorrow.
Jimin is a very kind, thoughtful and a loving person. It would be weird of him not to wish his fellow bandmate a happy birthday on his birthday. He would. He should. Rest assured.
But I understand that what y'all are asking me as far as Jikook is concerned and shipping goes is whether Jimin would do something extraordinary for JK this year like he did last year, what he would do and whether he would post about it.
Even though I am certain he will post, I can't tell you what that post is going to be, I'm an alien not Jesus you know?
What I can speculate on is whether or not Jimin would make another grand gesture like that of last year. Which is what this post is going to be about.
The answer to that question is not as simple as yes he would or no he wouldn't. Personally, I expect him to do something a little bit out of the ordinary or coded this year. I'll explain in a bit.
To be clear, I don't expect a repeat of last year or anything of the magnitude of last year at all as much as that would make me uWu so hard. Although... what if he pulls a 360 on us and propose to Jk on his birthday?what? I'm speaking it into existence!
What Jimin did last year was an exception not the norm. You don't fly half way across the world just because. To me that was a grand grand gesture in the history of JK's birthdays and I don't expect a repeat of it unless the circumstances that lead to that moment repeats its self.
The circumstances being that they were broke up and he was trying to fix things. Cough, cough.
JK's birthday last year was an Echo of Manila. A general consensus among Jikookers, is that JK had been mad because Jimin was choosing to spend time with Taemin on the eve of his birthday hence why he had had posted that song knowing full well Jimin would see it as a way to guilt trip Jimin.
If that is right, then Jimin flying over to be with Jk would be a huge statement.
2015 and 2019 are the years that have stood out to me most, birthday wise: Jimin saying he wanted to give JK a kiss on his 18th birthday and him flying from Paris to South K to be with JK on his birthday.
If you've ever heard Jimin talk about money, he is prudent and wise about money. I mean rather than spend millions on a luxury apartment he chose to buy an investment property instead. He is a Libra, I wouldn't expect anything less.
On his vacation trips, he's known to share cost of expenses with the friends he travels with if he's traveling with them. I won't call him frugal though, thoughtful and selective is more like it.
So when he does something of this nature, it's not nothing. He was making a statement period. He was proving something to someone- if you say Army I'll smack the back of your head. Lol
JK. He was proving something to JK. It's always been JK- so help me lord if you say it's Fanservice! It is not. It wasn't for Fanservice.
I've seen people around corners of the internet saying he didn't have to post his Paris video if he was going to go see JK anyway to celebrate with him. That the whole video message thing on Twitter seemed very much private.
I agree with the part about the video seeming private. It seemed personal to me. But it also seemed like the point of that video was to let JK know his location at the time to perhaps throw him off the surprise he had planned for later.
People have argued JM was just pulling a 'prank' on JK with that whole Paris trip to begin with. They were on a hiatus, they had been together prior to JM leaving for France a few days to JK's birthday so it doesn't make sense that they would be broken up at that time period and it doesn't make sense that Jimin will leave for Paris and fly back home only to leave again so it must be a prank.
... Sure. Valid point. However, I don't see Jimin being reckless with money or honestly that shallow. If that was a prank that was an expensive one.
And yes, Jimin didn't have to go on the trip. It wasn't business. It was leisure. I can see how that would be confusing to JK especially when it seemed JM was choosing to spend time with someone, be somewhere else rather than with him on his birthday- yet again. Coughing in Manila.
But sure, I can see how that would be the best 'prank' surprise for JK. Shaking my head. I don't think that was all that was happening with Jikook around that time as I have hinted at several times across my blog posts.
Jikook were broke up around that time, that trip was a grand gesture, Jimin's way to make up with Jk let him know he's learned his lessons. His friends are important but JK comes first. The lightning struck twice for JM and he got a second chance to redeem himself- the definition of GRAND gesture.
If you are a Kpop enthusiast you would also know about the political climate in S.K around that time frame and how it was impacting the Kpop world in general. Certain Boy Bands were under investigation for certain 'offences' I don't want to get into.
On August 11th, one member of such said boy band was arrested- allegedly. I don't know what it had to do with BTS or whether it had anything to do with them at all and I'm not insinuating anything but I just found that impromptu hiatus in August a bit suspicious giving everything else that was going on in S.K.
If 'people' were looking into Kpop boybands then I am certain BTS was on top of that list just because they are the biggest boyband and have been a target of haters for years.
Needless to say, I do not think they were gonna find anything at all on the boys if in deed they had looked but if the boys had a secret- like say two of their members being in the LGBTQ plus community then I assume that secret was bound to be found out?
It is why I believe the boys were asked to lay low in August and that Jikook specifically had been asked by BigHit to tone things down while they navigated the muddy mess of public scrutiny- in my opinion.
I also find it a bit interesting that both of Jikook later that same month and period would be involved in a scandal involving women- But feel free to draw your own conclusions on that however you please. This is just mine: I think that move was straight out of the PR books. Classic Olivia Pope-esque move. Lol
I know some people think it is in the best interest of Jikook to hide their relationship if they are real and that Jikook want to hide their relationship: I disagree.
Just based on my own observation, I don't think they enjoy hiding at all. Especially JK. Well, he did say he didn't want to hide anymore in GCF Saipan didn't he? Can't argue with that.
But also, out of the two, JK is the one who seems the most grounded and sure about their relationship. This is seen best in moments where they've almost been caught. JK's been the least bothered or throw off. Almost as if he doesn't mind if people find out about them.
For instance, when BTS exposed JK for sneaking into Jimin's bed Jimin looked terrified as fuck. He pointed to JK, almost throwing him under the bus but for someone behind the camera asking him to chill, Jimin would have freaked out of his mind.
Then we have that infamous moment when Jimin and JK walked into JK's room and spotted the camera. The look on JM's face said it all. But JK seemed pretty chill about it to me.
Now these moments are relevant because JM was caught unaware. They were both caught off guard and so their reactions were instinctive. By instinct Jimin freaked out which says to me he is afraid to be exposed or outed perhaps because he isn't ready to come out- yet. While JK's reaction on the other says to me he doesn't mind at all if people found out about them which could be because he is ready to come out.
I know what you are thinking and no. That time in the track when they were caught taking photos- JK looked more like he didn't appreciate the invasion of his privacy rather then terrified he was caught. They were on set and so they knew there were cameras roaming around and anyone could stumble on them. They were both consciously self aware of their environment which is why JM was able to make a quick comeback.
I can go on and on about this about this topic but the post is already getting too long.
My point is, Jikook don't like to hide. When you are in love you want the whole world to know. And so often, they fluctuate between wanting to keep their relationship a secret for the sake of their careers and wanting to declare and openly claim eachother.
Keeping their relationship a secret is bound to be stressful on them physically and emotionally. Just because they don't like to be outed don't mean they enjoy hiding.
Their secret is not theirs alone to tell. They have people whose careers depend on them. Their secret is inextricably linked with five other people. People whose careers could end instantly if their secret so much as came out accidentally or even by design.
I don't think either of them is selfish enough to risk that. Not even in the name of love. And this is especially true for Jimin the way I see it. As for JK..... I don't think he gives a shit. Bless him.
This doesn't mean, however, that they don't enjoy teetering the line. It's part of the thrill that fuels their passions- when they get to play at being caught and exposed or just the mere thought they are out smarting the public- fucking exhibitionist!
Jokes aside, I believe there is a sense of comfort and security they get from knowing there are thousands of people out there who enjoy and celebrate their love as openly as they would want to and they live openly vicariously through us.
Our support and acceptance means so much to them. Which is why often you find them reaching out to us.
Being told to lay low even if it's for their own interests would get on their nerves especially for a rebel like JK and Jimin knew this hence why that public display of his affection for Jk on Twitter.
Thus, I do I think JM would make another gesture similar to what he did last year but whatever gesture of he does make one would be unique in it's own way from last year's and would be more of an assurance of his love for JK and a prove to Army that they are fine just because i think they have both been through a lot this year just as he said in the dynamite MV reaction VLive which was rudely sabotaged by Tae.
Jimin seemed like he wanted to have a 'public' moment with JK as explained in my previous post on the Dynamite Reaction Vlive. And given as that moment was interrupted, I expect him to try that again. Whatever message he wanted to deliver it seemed more intended for JK as much as us their supporters.
He has been pretty active on social media lately in the days leading up to JK's birthday. He seems to be gearing up for something. He ain't slick.
So yea, part of me hopes and expect him to do something nice, to make a statement similar to last year's but I cannot ignore also that there's been a lot of eyes and attention on Jikook a lot lately. More so than usual.
Posting something of that nature would single them out and only escalate the situation especially if it is something that makes them both stand out from the others.
For context, I am talking about the heat they recieved as a result of the Dynamite MV. That heat is drenched in homophobia and they and BigHit could care shit about that as I explained in my previous post but you have to understand it can have a negative impact on their mental health.
I mean, NamJoon is constantly being paired with JK a lot lately. It's almost as if he is keeping an eye on Him constantly if you know what I mean. Tae has also been keeping an eye on Jikook, outing Jikook's schemes and shenanigans before they happen like in that Dynamite MV Reaction VLive where he asked JK not to look into the camera during Jimin's solo commentary.
It's understandable. Their interest is as stake too. If Jikook go down, they are going down too. It's daisy.
What I'm saying is, Jikook is being monitored and it would be daring of Jimin to do something as grand for JK openly like that.
But who knows. If it's gonna make JK happy because they've both been through a lot this half of the year then JM would definitely definitely do it. He is defiant like that and he can be a bit of a dare devil when it comes to proving his stance to Jk. He wouldn't hesitate for a second. I love that about him.
Mad respect for him if he does. Mad mad respect for him if he does. But if he doesn't you'd all know why.
In conclusion, I'm saying I'm expecting something more than a happy birthday text from Jimin this year. I'm expecting something more meaningful, deep, coded and uniquely Jikook.
If it happens to be a proposal Ayla you can have all my shmoney! Lol
Signed,
GOLDY
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Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.
Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.
The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.
Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.
With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.
The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.
I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.
Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!!
The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.
I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.
Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home
The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.
Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.
Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.
The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.
Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.
Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.
The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.
Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.
Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!
#cosmic entity's art#minecraft#mob talker mod#mc creeper#mc zombie#mc skeleton#mc spider#mc blaze#mc enderman#character design
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Bigger than before! A larger neural net tries to write fanfiction
I’ve done several experiments with GPT-2, a neural net that OpenAI trained on millions of pages from the internet. OpenAI has been releasing the neural net in stages, with the second-biggest model, 774M, just recently released. I decided to put it through its paces. Last week’s experiment, where I generated new XFL team names? Merely a warmup challenge. This week’s task is fanfiction.
Unlike the experiments where I trained neural nets from scratch on Harry Potter fanfiction summaries, I didn’t do any special training of 774M, just used talktotransformer.com to prompt it with the opening line of a scene. To up the challenge (and to make it more interesting), each of the prompts (in bold) introduces a new crossover or puts a character in a situation that hopefully it hasn’t already seen too often in online fanfic.
Hermione pushed frantically at the controls of the spaceship.
"We have to take this ship out of service!" she shouted, pushing the controls.
Harry Potter stepped forward, his face contorted, and pointed his wand at the controls and the ship.
"Fire! Fizzle! Burn!"
The control fires suddenly started being foggled by the magic, the ship starting to rise up from the ground and then it was off.
verdict: impressive! knows this is the Harry Potter universe, displays a basic understanding of what spaceships and wands do, and even makes a convincing attempt at magic incantations.
Kylo Ren glared at Han Solo from his bedroom doorway. His hair was completely white and his eyes were black.
The young smuggler took a breath and turned his head to face Kylo Ren. His eyes were focused on Han. Kylo Ren was very tall (at least 6′11″) and extremely muscular. His face was covered in a large beard. From his voice, it seemed like Kylo Ren was not his real father and he was the illegitimate one. Kylo Ren was very smart and was able to use the Force to his advantage. In the same way, Han Solo was always talking to other people and was not even aware of his own existence. He had never been exposed to the light side nor the dark side as it were. Because of how well Kylo Ren could communicate with the dark side of the Force, he was able to manipulate Han when he was feeling down. Han, himself, was a Jedi Knight who would learn the dark side first.
verdict: was this written by Kylo Ren? The AI definitely knows this is supposed to be Star Wars fanfic, but it doesn’t always seem to know exactly who the characters are. The fact that it DOES stick with the same characters for even this long is impressive.
Darth Vader glowered at the cupcake batter, spoon in hand. Lumpy, lumpy... why was the batter always so lumpy? Ahhh... why was he always being so... why was he even here in the first place?!
"You're the one with the chocolate, kid," said the voice. All around him, there was a flurry of people moving their heads in the hopes of finding one who could help them in the dark, to no avail. The cupcake batter was too thin and the butter too thick. Too thin, yet too thick... too thick!
"Why is the butter so thin?!" cried one of the few that didn't seem to have noticed, and this was no help, for the cake batter was so thick it was almost un-cakey (and just looking at it made me want to break all of the cake into tiny pieces). "Why aren't there any pieces in the pan!"
"And no crumbs falling out. There's too many layers!"
verdict: most text-generating neural nets would have drifted in focus by now. But 774M is still here, thinking of new ways that cakes can go wrong. Speaking of cakes…
Mary Berry's Victoria Sandwich Cake
Ingredients:
225 g (8 oz) softened butter
225 g (8 oz) caster sugar
4 large eggs
225 g (8 oz) self-raising flour
2 level tsp baking powder
2 x 20cm (8in) greased and lined sandwich tins
How to make:
Combine the butter, sugar and flour in a large mixing bowl. In a separate medium bowl, mix the eggs with the self-raising flour and water just until combined. Sift in the water, the icing toffee and the vanilla extract. Chill for 30 minutes. Once chilled, fold the dry mix into the wet mixture, beating well after each fold. Roll out the dough into a 14cm (5in) circle, trimming the centre to create a triangle. Cut out the triangles from the center but leave some space around the base for the filling. Cut 3 triangles each from the edges. Brush the triangles with buttercream. Roll each of the triangles again into a circle, making sure not to wrap completely around the base. Cut into 12 triangles again. Brush the triangles with buttercream again. Roll each one into a 3.5cm (1in)(6.3cm) circle. Cut into 12 more triangles and brush with buttercream. Roll each one into a circle again, making sure not to wrap completely around the base. Cut into 12 more triangles and brush with buttercream. Fold one over the other. Brush with buttercream. Fold one over the other. Brush with buttercream. Cut each triangle into 3 triangles, brush with buttercream and trim one last triangle. Cut three lengths of the triangle in half, brush with buttercream and trim one more triangle. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into 1 more segment. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into 3 segments. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into 1 more segment. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into a full length. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into a final segment. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into 1 more segment. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into a final segment. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles into a final segment. Brush with buttercream and trim the triangles…
verdict: the neural net will not be winning the Great British Bakeoff Technical Challenge anytime soon. i would like to see a video of this recipe being made. The next prompt is a preview of the subject of my next blog post.
Harry threw down his crochet hooks in frustration. The hat just wouldn't turn out properly, no matter how hard he tried. Harry wasn't sure how much longer he would keep up the habit.
Forcing his thoughts back into the present, Harry sighed and pulled the hat off his head. He was glad that the hat was so small, because he knew he wouldn't be able to wear it for the length of time he had planned.
He looked around his house for something to wear. He found a thin woolen jacket and pulled it over his head. Although still not nearly the long enough to cover his ears, it would be enough. He took his shoes off and placed them in his shoe box. He could wear his socks now, they hadn't grown out of hand. He threw on his glasses and went outside.
verdict: I didn’t specify that this is Harry Potter, so fair enough. While sticking creditably with the theme of items of clothing, the AI displays a perhaps shaky grasp of just how they work.
Subscribers get bonus content: I generated more of these than would fit in this blog post. It’s kind of hard to stop, actually.
My book You Look Like a Thing and I Love You is now available for preorder! It comes out November 5.
Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s
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F, G, O, P, Y for those fandom questions (and two free to choose letters)
Thank youuuuu!
(Fandom-Related Questions)
F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it?
Gonna actually say Ace Attorney.
In theory, it’s rare for me to ever actually leave a fandom. In theory, I try to just collect them over time and always try to keep on top of ALL of them - but it’s an impractical approach despite being one I try to aspire to. In practice, I do inevitably “fall out” of fandoms, only to ultimately pick them back up again later or “catch up”, even if that happens several years down the line. I always try to keep some vague awareness or cycle back unless my opinions have changed enough to warrant not picking the fandom(s)/work back up again.
All that said, my answer to this is “Ace Attorney” because it’s the one fandom I don’t think I ever really left or ‘fell out of’ ever since I joined. The fandom is so huge and not only is it always producing new content no matter how slow-going things are, but there’s a seemingly endless backlog of pre-existing content to “catch up” on (I mean I joined like fifteen years after the first game had been released!). I joined around six years ago at this point and still going strong, and it’s just so populated with stuff compared to other way smaller fandoms of mine - and stuff that I’m actually interested in mind you, a rare instance where I’m invested in sooo many main characters and core cast! I don’t think any other fandom I joined earlier than that really counts because I think all pre-existing fandoms have encountered instances of me ‘falling out’ of them accidentally - sometimes because of Ace Attorney and the attention it demanded.
Even with fandoms I never truly stopped keeping tabs on, it still feels like I wasn’t actually In the fandom for a given duration of time because the tabs I was keeping were halfhearted efforts and it still didn’t have my actual proper attention.
G: What was your first fandom?
I think my first proper fandom was actually WordGirl, talking in terms of like, the internet, fandom involvement, interactions, etc. Naturally there were fictional medias I was already obsessed with prior to that point, prior to becoming active on the internet, but WordGirl was truly my first proper fandom experience.
The first media I was really into I think might’ve been the Simpsons, but that was before I was an internet user and before I had any inkling of what fandom was or that it even existed. Kung Fu Panda is the same - I was obsessed with Kung Fu Panda when the movie was first released and had NO IDEA that fandom Existed, so I just suffered in isolated, obsessed silence, LOL, and it wasn’t until like three years later it even occurred to me that “hey, wait, maybe people on the internet ALSO like that movie and - gasp! - formed a community around it?!”. So yeah, WordGirl was the first.
O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of?
Every Time You Go Away reminds me of Narumitsu trilogy-era angst tbh.
P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).
AU where Edgeworth suffers severe brain damage as a result of the DL-6 incident to the extent that he loses all his memories and.... ahem.... emotions. He becomes a “phantom” of sorts. I’ve been tossing that one around in my brain for a while.
The interesting thing is, though, that imo phantom!Edgeworth in this AU would never actually harm anyone or really commit crimes if he could help it. Despite lack of identity and memories, and despite the emotionlessness, there’s still enough Edgeworth left in him that he can’t bring himself to. Like, even completely emotionless, he still has a bit of an unshakeable uppity moral code that he sticks to, even if he couldn’t necessarily explain why. It’s so deeply-ingrained in him that not even losing his emotions can shake it. So he’s definitely not the “phantom” of UR-1 or anything in this au. I still can’t see Edgeworth committing murder ;) and the juxtaposition there is half the fun. Taking attributes of the phantom but then combining it with someone who nonetheless Refuses To Kill.
Y: A fandom you’re in but have no ships from.
I’m not actually a huge shipper, like the ships I get into, I REALLY get into, but it often hasn’t been my main focus, or any ships I do have are sooo minor as to be negligible, OR it’s me going “the fandom’s interpretation is cute/has potential, but I don’t actively dig it in canon”. So there’s plenty of fandoms where I don’t consider myself to have any ships for, like Kung Fu Panda (if we discount “Crane and that one girl from a bonus short that we never saw again might have had potential but otherwise I never think about them”, lol).
Two free-to-choose letters, let’s see...
B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
Langworth! I never considered it, when I was first exposed to it my reaction was “what why how” and I just didn’t get it, but then after a while I did. Tumblr user wendyoldbags and seeing them mention they love it is what got me thinking about it. It went from “well... shippers are gonna ship!” to “wait hold on that actually is interesting to consider and a fun perspective to look at their dynamic from”.
C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can’t.
Brumsy (Brainy/Clumsy; smurfs). I’ve tried but I just can’t get into it. There’s one interpretation I came up with to make it Work in my mind, but even then, it’s just not something I’m going to actively seek out.
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