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loveronlineee · 2 years

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The Metalhead and the Material Girl (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Masterlist All Parts

Eddie Munson x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: none

Synopsis: When a super fem new girl joins Eddie’s class he thinks he’s got her all figured out, but he soon finds out that the popular kids aren’t the only ones who judge people’s first appearances

Y/N notes: none

Okay I don’t usually do writers notes but I gotta say thanks to these four: @carolinaflicker @iamsiriuss @hauntingtherosebush @lindsey3300 for helping me out on the lil bit of D&D stuff I mentioned. Some of you guys had slightly different answers for me so if I’m still wrong let me know! (And other D&D playing peeps)

Wanna be on the Eddie Munson tag list? Look here!

Wanna request something? Look here!

“I’m Y/N L/N. I transferred here from California for my senior year. I like pop music, fashion and hanging out with my friends. And I hope I can become friends with all of you!”

Pretty. Bubbly. Probably a bit of an airhead. The popular kids will scoop her up in a heartbeat. Eddie thought to himself looking up at the new girl. I wonder how long it’ll take for her to be just like everyone else.

The teacher pointed at the empty seat on the metal head’s right, giving the boy a stern look.

“Y/N I’m gonna seat you next to Eddie here at the front so you can help me keep an eye on him.” Eddie grinned and gave the teacher a wink.

Okaaaay here we go. Eddie thought to himself, leaning back in his chair. What kind of popular girl is this one gonna be? Disgusted by me? Weirded out? Just plain old pretend I don’t exist?

“Hi, Eddie was it?” The new girl asked with the biggest most genuine smile Eddie had ever seen. Her face was enough to melt away any built up hate he had accumulated from every harsh comment thrown at him throughout the years.

“Uh yeah Eddie. Eddie Munson.” He couldn’t help the smile appearing on his own face. This girl was a ball of sunshine.

“Nice to meet you Eddie.” He watched as she took out her things from her bag and set them out on the table. Everything was either pink, glittery or had a cute little character on it. She wrote the date on a new page in her notebook, doodling little stars around the numbers.

The teacher came over and placed a piece of paper on Y/N’s desk.

“This is your time table with your classes. Don’t be afraid to ask someone for help.”

“Oh thank you!” Y/N chirped before beginning to read through it. “Hey Eddie, what classes do we have together?” She tilted the paper towards him. Eddie leaned over and skimmed the page.

“Oh wow most of them. We got all the same ones today in fact.”

“Do you mind if I just stuck with you then?”

“Y-Yeah. Yeah that’s cool.” Eddie wasn’t in fact planning on going to all his classes today, like most days, but he couldn’t pass up the chance to get to know this girl more. He spent the morning walking Y/N to all her classes, pointing out other parts of the school she’ll need to know. He revelled in the looks the other students were giving him when they saw them together. The resident freak with a mystery bombshell.

Lunch came around and Y/N followed Eddie to the lunch hall.

“Hey I’ve been meaning to ask you… what’s on your shirt? Is it a band?” Y/N asked.

“It’s my club.”

“Oh cool! You run a club? What’s it about?” Eddie smiled at her as they reached his table of friends.

“A little game called D&D.” He turned to them and gestured to the new girl. “Gentlemen, this is Y/N.”

The boys all looked at her slack jawed, unable to think of anything to say. Luckily, Y/N had enough social skills for the whole table.

“It’s nice to meet you all! I started here today, Eddie’s been showing me around.” She explained as Eddie pulled out the chair in between his and Dustin’s and letting her sit down. He sat in his own chair at the head of the table just observing his friends trying to process this girl being here.

“You’ve been with Eddie…” Mike started asking very slowly, like he was waiting for the pin to drop. “…since this morning?”

“Yeah he’s been really helpful.” Y/N smiled at the younger student. “So are you two freshmen?”

Y/N continued chatting with Mike and Dustin. Eddie looked behind them at the popular kids who were eyeing him suspiciously. The cheerleaders all glaring and whispering to each other. “Eddie!” The metal head looked back at Y/N.

“Yeah?”

“So all these guys are in your club?” She gestured at the group. “You were gonna tell me about D&D earlier, what’s the game about?” Y/N asked, genuinely interested. Eddie grinned. He stood up like he was presenting to a class. Everyone sat up, hands neatly rested on the table, going along with the joke.

“D&D, or Dungeons and Dragons, is a fantasy table-top roleplaying game that only a select few at this school truly appreciate.” Eddie used theatrical hand motions as he described the game, putting one foot on his chair to add to the dramatic effect. “It is a game of teamwork, decision making, and the luck of the dice.”

He gave Dustin a small nod which prompted the boy to take a heavy book out of his bag and put it in front of Y/N. The Dungeons and Dragons Handbook. She began flicking through it, taking in as much as she could. She gasped.

“Can I be a fairy???” Eddie chuckled at her enthusiasm. He sat back down and shuffled his chair closer to hers.

“I’m sure I could homebrew something for you. Either that or you could be an elfen princess? If you just want that pretty ethereal girl look.” Eddie paused. “That… you’ve already got.” He looked back down at his hands, a little hesitant of his last line, before looking back up. Y/N was smiling at the compliment, easing Eddie’s nerves.

“Hey!” Two cheerleaders had approached the table, one calling out to Eddie with annoyance in her voice. “Why don’t you just stick with the freaks?” Eddie leaned away from Y/N and looked to the popular girls.

They turned to Y/N, who seemed a little confused. “You can come and sit with us instead.” One of them said, like she was doing the new girl a favour. Y/N looked over at Eddie. He kept his face the same, not wanting to influence her decision.

Of course he wanted her to stay, but he just couldn’t deal with the guilt of depriving Y/N of having an actual enjoyable high school experience. It didn’t matter how pretty she was, if she was hanging out with the freaks then she was gonna get bullied.

“Oh uh okay then.” Y/N replied apprehensively, slowly getting up. “I-I’ll be back in a minute.” She said as she was dragged away by the cheerleaders. Eddie pursed his lips together in a saddening smile.

“Suuuuuuuure you will.” He said just as Y/N got out of earshot. He looked around at the guys. “And that my friends, concludes the story of the time we almost got a hot chick to play D&D.” The group mumbled and chuckled, going back to their lunch, clearly no where nearly as affected as Eddie.

He knew this was inevitable. With who Y/N was and who he was. But a part of him, a small part of him wanted to believe that she’d stay. For him. That she wouldn’t get poisoned by the ideologies of the social hierarchy. But that was just wishful thinking. He looked back down at the table.

At least it was nice while it lasted.

“Sorry bout that.” Eddie looked back up to see Y/N again. “So I can be an elf princess?”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“…why are you here?”

“I did say I’d only be gone a minute.” She smiled. Eddie stared at her, unable to speak. His head slowly turned to the popular kids. They looked even more surprised than him.

“W-What about them?” He gestured.

“What about them?” Y/N asked, confused.

“Aren’t you gonna hang out with them?”

“They don’t seem like people I’d want to hang out with.”

“They don’t?”

“Do I look like a bully to you?” She joked. “So, elf princess? Yes?” Eddie’s smile retuned to his face.

“Yeah. Yeah definitely a princess.”

Tag list: @Mikinyi @justaproudslytherpuff @angelicjinwoo @k12baby @spiderman-berries @ruhro7 @justanotherhappyidiot @dontcallmesavvy @kenzi-woycehoski

#eddie munson #reader x Eddie Munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #st eddie munson #stranger things season four #stranger things x reader #stranger things season 4 #stranger things #reader x stranger things #stranger things imagine

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sophiethewitch1 · 3 months

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What We Want - Chpt. 5 - Meet The Adams Family

In Which A Romantic Breaks The Universe

(Yandere!batboys x f!reader) 18+ MDNI!

SUMMARY

Another lonely birthday, another empty year. You miss your family. You're late for your bills and rent, and even then, you got robbed last Tuesday.

Still, you buy yourself a cupcake, because you need it. I mean, hey. What's dessert for if not to get over cheating boyfriends and dead relatives?

As you blow out the candle, watching the clock switch from 11:59 pm to midnight of the next day, you make a wish.

And because the world doesn't like to make much sense, it comes true. Your life is suddenly flipped on a dime, and you're stuck trying to catch up with it. Fantasy becomes reality. You're a Wayne now, apparently. Or you used to be. You're loved, you're rich, you're talented and powerful.

Well, sort of. Careful what you wish for, right?

(TRIGGER WARNINGS AND MASTERLIST HERE)

PREV - NEXT

The first thing you’d done when you woke up, still somehow in the Wayne manor, was pull out not-your phone and check the date. When it tells you that you are not, in fact, in some weird version of a time loop, you feel some measure of relief. The second thing you do is look your own damn name up on Google. There were over 3 million results. You have a Wikipedia page. If that hadn’t made you want to gag, the press from last night had you bumbling your way into the ensuite bathroom and puking into the toilet.

It’s still sitting on the bathroom floor, nauseous and achy and sweaty, your mouth washed out but still tasting foul, that you continue your research.

It’s just as you had suspected, your family was dead. Still dead. Well, shit. In the light of day, you supposed that made more sense. That there was no real reason to assume otherwise. You hadn’t for most of yesterday, but as soon as you’d thought that maybe there was a chance, your hopes had been dashed. Which was good, rip the bandaid off and all.

It was good. Things were good. They were fine, you were fine. You really wish you were a better liar.

Again you wash your mouth out. Root around the cabinets for some medical-grade mouthwash, do it again, and then you throw yourself into the shower. Again. You notice the soap smells like whoever’s clothes you stole. Refreshing and awakening, that mint and earth again. You think you can detect something floral in it too. It’s still masculine, but…

Wow, you are such a freak! You put down the fucking soap and manage to resist the urge to slam your head into the tiles. Your headache was bad enough already.

When you leave the bathroom, you glance at the door, and then down at your towel. Guess you’re stealing some more apparel. You find a Superman shirt, give it a judging glance, and then pick out a black T-shirt with ‘The Beatles’ across the front, and some sweatpants. You have to roll up the pant legs so you don’t trip and fall flat on your face.

One hand scrolling through Twitter and TikTok and Reddit and every single piece of social media you could find, getting the people’s source of news and you get the high overlords’ one when you turn on the huge TV attached to the wall. The remote kind of confuses you at first, but you manage to find the good ol’ Gotham news channel.

Immediately, you’re greeted by your miserable mascara-streaked face. You turn the TV off. You take a deep breath. Turn it back on. Luckily it’s not just you getting your private moment of trauma blasted open in the media. Your party had been filled with Gotham’s elite, after all. You weren’t the only rich idiot left crying by the side of the road.

You weren’t the only one who had to suffer. There had been twenty-eight casualties, in total. A small amount, considering the man behind the deaths. The Joker wasn’t known for his cleanliness. You tell yourself that, and yet still, you can’t make them just numbers. They’d been standing right next to you, after all. All in the same boat, all waiting for the axe to swing, secretly hoping you’re the one who lives to the next day. Only one of the party guests had been shot, and that’s because you think they’d personally pissed off the Joker. That’s what Twitter says, anyway. There were multiple video recordings of the altercation, and it didn’t look like he’d been the smartest banana in the bunch. The TV is a lot sweeter on the dead soul.

You feel sorry for all the dead. You still don’t think this rich heir should be the face you see, though. When you check his name, you find several forgotten assault cases. Assault, rape, just like that disappearing bastard had tried to do to you. That female janitor you’d seen shot had done more for this city than that guy ever had.

Did her family know? Did she have a family? Someone to mourn her? You’d never thought about that before. How many people out there wouldn’t have anyone to even remember them?

It’s none of your business, in the end.

After a whiles more research, you switch the TV off and tuck your cracked phone into the sweatpants. You know where your mother’s grave is, on the west side of the estate. Wikipedia knew all, which was now kind of creepy to you as it knew all about you as well. Really, you couldn’t believe it. Your mother, buried with the Waynes? You’d always thought she should find someone new, someone who’d appreciate her, unlike your father who had dipped as soon as Sam was born.

You couldn’t even remember the guy. Still, you remembered that he’d smelled bad and made your Mum do everything, and was just generally all around the worst choice for a husband.

But, Jesus Christ, Bruce Wayne? Absolute insanity. You had no idea how the two of them would’ve even met. Let alone fall in love and get married. Your mother was one of the loveliest women on earth but… they had absolutely nothing in common, other than having troublesome kids. And you hadn’t seen her getting lovey-dovey with the other PTA mums.

You walk out of the room you’ve borrowed and into the hallway. In the light of day, the Wayne manor is much less creepy, and you can find it in yourself to appreciate the antique space. Warm sunlight falls over dark oak furniture, illuminating your bare feet as you walk along the Persian rug. Your fingers trail along all the tiny little decorations, some annoying part of you demanding you leave traces of yourself behind. Your fingerprints dirty an old clock, a golden candelabra, a lamp and a tiny spinning globe.

You might’ve gotten lost in a place this huge if you couldn’t hear people’s voices floating down the halls. They were too far away for you to be able to tell what they were saying, but you could still hear them. They’re to the west, so you’re definitely going to have to go past them.

You follow the voices and eventually come to a stop in a hallway. You can smell food. Good, real food. The type that makes your instant-ramen-powered body salivate. The people are in the kitchen, right around the corner. You duck your head and quickly sneak past the mostly closed doorway. On the other side, you pause, your curious self unable to leave just yet.

“She needs help,” Bruce says, and you mentally curse. Balls. You didn’t want to hear this. You guess this was instant karma for snooping. Maybe they weren’t talking about you?

Why did that sound very unlikely…

“She went through a lot last night,” he continues, which, well, yes, you did go through a lot, “And he said that she saw a woman get shot right in front of her. It makes sense if she doesn’t want to talk yet.”

He? Who’s he? Who ratted you out? Wait, dumb question, the four other witnesses who saw the janitor get shot. You were still pretty sure the Waynes weren’t supposed to know that, but everybody knew those GCPD pigs were always just a dollar away from whatever you wanted them to do. It’s not surprising that the Waynes know details only the police should know at the moment.

…It is a bit disappointing, though. You chose to have hope in them, that they’d gotten that information legally. Your fatal obsession with the Waynes wasn’t going to disappear after one miserable party. You wished it would.

“She was acting strange before that,” Timothy Jackson Drake’s smooth voice drifts from the kitchen. You were still a little starry-eyed over him, which was… bad, you think. It’d definitely make whatever relationship the two of you had been forced into a whole lot more difficult. It did not need to be any more difficult.

“Are you accusing her of something?” Bruce Thomas Wayne’s voice is gravelly in comparison, angry, maybe. Also, ‘accusing’? What could he even be accusing you of? It was pretty obvious you weren’t capable of anything nefarious, you were far too stupid for that. You were a plastic bag drifting along the Gotham river, barely able to affect which direction you flowed in.

“God no. And I definitely wouldn’t do it with her listening, that’d be rude.”

Your breath hitches, and you push off from the wall. Busted, damn. Your face feels unbelievably hot. As you leave, you can hear Mr Wayne scolding his adopted son. You walk until you can’t hear their voices anymore, and then a little further, finding an exit door.

You stumble out onto a stone staircase, probably a servants’ one in the olden days. You move down it, hand gripping the railing. You’re barely conscious of where you’re going. There’s a path that leads away from the stone manor and further into the estate, and you follow it. When you spot a small gated area, with stone obelisks and angel statues, you veer off the path and onto the grass.

Hissing out a breath, it’s only now you realise you went outside without any shoes on. Your toes curl in the cold, wet grass. It’s a miserable feeling, and you want to walk right back inside. And then you think about the awkward conversation waiting for you, take a breath and keep going. The gates swing open easily under your hand, the golden embossed ‘W’ glinting in the light.

A guardian angel stands before you. Its stone face is disapproving, glaring down at you from above. ‘Interloper,’ it calls you, but you move past it without pausing. It’s pretty obvious which graves are the new ones and which are the old ones. They’re all clean and well-kept, but the ones to the left have dates going back hundreds of years, and the ones to the right only decades. Your eyes follow the rows of graves. Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne…

Your breath whistles out of you, nearly muffled by the grey morning wind.

And your mother. She has a different last name, now another Wayne. Your siblings don’t, which makes sense. You’re surprised to find many of your extended family also in this graveyard. Your grandmother. Your uncle and aunt. A few of your cousins.

It’s cold this morning, and you’re out here with only a thin T-shirt on. Shivering, you rub your palms against your bare arms. It doesn’t do much. Still, you don’t want to go inside yet. Instead, you crouch in front of Sam’s grave, eyes reading the tiny epitaph. It’s not the one you wrote.

‘Beloved Son and Brother.’

Simple, clean-cut, formal… unfamiliar, you suppose. Yours had been much more flowery, ‘All the colour in the world is gone without you’. It was a bit silly, but you’d never said you were a poet. You’d just known you’d wanted something that represented them, if poorly.

Sam was a beloved son and brother. But that wasn’t who he chose to be. He liked colours. He’d change his favourite every other day, so he liked everything rainbow. It made it easier to choose which one he’d like next, he said. You were always buying him more and more coloured pencils because he’d wear them all down to the tips, he dyed the cat a bright red headache, much to your mother’s horror, and considered it his personal job to make every single birthday, christmas, and easter card. He’d paint on the walls in washable markers, and you’d often been the one to volunteer to help him get it all down. In school, he always had the best art project out of the entire class, even if you were slightly biased.

He was a colourful kid. He wasn’t… a plain grey tombstone. Nothing to help remember him, because you were always losing more and more of their precious memories.

The others had similarly impersonal graves. Just what they were, not who. Mother, sister. Nothing that spoke of how they’d lived their lives, what the world had lost when they’d died. It was… you didn’t think it was right. It was a disaster, really. Even when you’d had to rely on the Wanye Foundation donations, you’d managed a better resting place than this.

You suppose you’d never gotten them into the Wayne family’s personal graveyard, though. That was a bit of an upgrade, you guess.

“You need to come back inside. You’re worrying my father.”

“Jesus Christ!” you shriek, leaping backward. Your foot catches on one of the cobblestones, and you end up tipping back farther than you mean to, your ass bruising against the ground. You bump another gravestone, and there’s a horrible moment where it gives a little and you think it’s going to knock over.

It doesn’t. A shining miracle on your day.

From your slightly wet seat on the ground, you look up, finding one such Damian Al Ghul-Wayne. His towering height is the first thing you notice, second his stunning emerald green eyes. Both were incredibly shocking in their own ways, but his height really was almost dizzying. Perfect brown skin and a stylish 'long on the top, short on the sides’ black haircut, paired with the sort of face some European model might have, all come together to make sure you feel as pathetic as possible. His posh-looking outfit doesn’t help.

Neither does the fact he just watches you. He doesn’t even pretend to bend over to help you up. Which you’re sort of grateful for, honestly. It’d just make you more embarrassed. You didn’t know if you could hold the hand of your celebrity crush and… well, be normal. Pretend to be normal. You weren’t doing a very good job of it anyway.

You have to wonder, which was the worst introduction? The drunk, the bloody, or the one where you fell on your ass? God, you really are screwing this all the way up. You wonder how you’re inevitably going to make it even worse. There’s a part of you that desperately doesn’t want to meet any of the other Waynes, even as another part of you is screaming that it needs to.

If they knew they had a fangirl in their graveyard, you’re sure they’d kick you out. That was why you were lying about everything, not because you had intimacy issues.

Stop thinking, you idiot! You’re only making things more difficult for yourself with all your worrying and fretting. And maybe you should get off the ground, you looked stupid. You push to your feet, wiping your dirtied hands on the sweats.

He still doesn’t say anything when you stand, still just staring at you. His open staring is far too intimidating, so you scrounge for something to say.

“Your father? You- Is he alright?” you stammer over your words, giving Damian Wayne an awkward smile. He doesn’t return it, instead canting his head towards one of the windows.

You look toward where Damian Wayne gestured to, find nothing but an empty window frame, and then back to the ridiculously tall man. You swear, the guy had grown like a bean pole. He had to be something ridiculous, like 6’5, or maybe more. You were fairly certain you’d been taller than him at twelve, or thirteen, whenever it was he was first introduced to the world as Damian Wayne. Now, now… not so much.

“There’s nobody in there?” you ask, like you’re questioning your sanity. You are.

“My father’s shy,” He says, coolly shrugging one shoulder.

What. Bruce Wayne? Shy? Was he joking or something?

Damian Wayne stares down at you with narrowed green eyes, and dark brows in a harsh frown. His arms are crossed over his rich kid sweater, shiny black shoes tapping against the cobbles. That’s not the face of someone who makes jokes, you think.

You swallow, mind whirring as you try desperately to fix this conversation, “Right. Okay. I’ll… I’ll come back inside, then. Sorry for bothering you guys.”

He keeps staring at you. He doesn’t seem bothered.

“Sorry for bothering him?” you correct.

Damian gives one slow, cat-like blink of his eyes, and then turns with a tsk and walks away. It takes you a moment to realise you’re meant to follow him. It takes you even longer to actually catch up with him because he’s so fucking tall.

On TV he didn’t look this tall. You feel kind of betrayed, which is weird.

As you’re walking along, getting closer back to the manor, a stick or something pokes you in the foot. You curse, grabbing your foot. Thankfully you don’t start bleeding or something. You’d already be tracking dirt all over the inside of the impeccable space, you didn’t want to bring blood in as well. It takes a moment for you to realise the sound of Damian’s footsteps crunching in the grass has stopped, and you glance up.

He’s staring right at you again. He looks even less impressed with you, raising an eyebrow and mouth ticking downward. You put your foot down and tuck your hands behind your back in a very obvious anxious display.

“You went outside not wearing any shoes?” Damian Wayne asks, incredulous.

“I was… yeah, I forgot to,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. Not your best moment, but you weren’t really having any of those today. Or yesterday. Or the day before. Maybe you should stop thinking about that, actually.

“That’s disgusting,” The young Wayne sneers, and then turns and gives you his shoulder.

You think your heart maybe cracks a little. Well, they do say to never meet your idols. Maybe whoever wrote that quote had you in mind specifically, because now you were in… this situation. Ex-step-sister. If that was a thing. Your Wikipedia page said that you said that a lot, very insistent that you had absolutely nothing to do with the Waynes.

…It didn’t really look like you had nothing to do with the Waynes, from an outsider's perspective. Which obviously didn’t make any sense, since you were… you. You were not an outsider, not anymore.

This was too complicated. You needed a coffee. With like, so much sugar it’ll make you bounce from the walls.

Damian strides up the side entrance’s staircase and through the door, leaving it open for you to follow through. You hesitate at the doorway, looking over your shoulder to the graveyard. The statue calls you names in the distance, and although you feel like a stranger who doesn’t belong here, you manage to step back into the house.

You force yourself to walk through the hallway and into the kitchen, fists clenched tight at your side and your shoulders bunched up to your ears. Bruce Thomas Wayne, Timothy Jackson Drake, and the butler from earlier. Damian Al Ghul Wayne steps around the trio, picking some drink from the counter and moving to sit at the dining table at the edge of the room. There’s an open book on the table that he starts flicking through, and well, apparently that’s the end of your first conversation with the youngest Wayne.

You did… well, alright might be pushing it. You're still going to say you did alright.

Tim Drake gives you a sweet smile, catching your attention. The silky raven hair of his heart-shaped fringe falls over his beautiful, pale face, and for a moment there you totally forget that he’d called you out earlier like that. Which was just, such an odd thing to do. His hand lifts to scratch at the buzz cut under the floppy strands of hair. The movement mesmerises you. You look away from his sky blue eyes, very quickly realising they’re robbing you of the few remaining brain cells you have. And you need those, damn it. Especially because you’d already made the decision to hide from all your problems like a baby. Negative, negative…

“How’re you doing today?” Tim asks you, giving you a friendly greeting. It’s a welcome olive branch.

“I’m good,” you lie like you breathe, eyes glancing around the space. Bruce Wayne has his phone out and a mug of coffee in his hands. He sips from the cup, his focus swallowed by the tiny screen. You glance back over to Damian Wayne. Huh, it really does run in the family.

Your neck prickles, and you glance back at Tim again. You get a brief vision of his tired, unsmiling expression, and then it’s back to the angelic and gentle smile. You smile back at him, a wretched, awful twisting of the lips that you hope doesn’t look like a grimace.

Tim’s smile turns into a grin. It’s really too pretty and makes you shift in your seat uncomfortably. Damn it all, look away!

“Would you like some breakfast, young miss? I’m afraid we’ve run out of pancakes, but I’d be happy to make some more for you,” the butler says in an awfully familiar British accent. You think you know this person, but you can not remember from where. Shit. Your memory was bad on the best of days, much less after… after an event like last night.

Anyway, the food from earlier had been pancakes. Despite the delicious scent, you really didn’t want to make him make any more food for you. You felt like you were intruding as it was.

“Do you have any toast, or… cereal?” you suggest instead, wondering if rich people even bother with cereal. The butler chuckles, and you think, ‘Oh, yeah, probably not’.

“We have both, miss. Master Grayson has a particular fondness for cereal, in fact,” he informs you, which, oh, cool. You did in fact know that, you stalker you. You’d totally forgotten about that weird fact or the weird fact that you knew that weird fact. Dick Grayson has an Instagram where he posts reviews of different cereals, which of course you have notifications on for.

“It’s more of an obsession,” Tim says, resting his palm in his hand as he… continues to stare at you. Nobody else thinks his ogling is strange, so you try to ignore it as well. Try is the choice word.

“I like cereal too. It’s normal,” you say in defence of Dick, a natural and instinctual urge.

And apparently, the fact that you like cereal is fucking shocking, judging from the open-mouth looks the group gives you. Oh no, you’re supposed to hate him, right? You’re supposed to hate them all, actually. What had you called him on your phone? Something about being annoying and a dickhead?

Swallowing your inner scream, you move around the counter and towards the cupboards. Whatever, they’ll have to deal with this new and improved version of you, which didn’t despise everyone in the room. Along with being a terrible liar, you were also pretty bad at keeping secrets.

You don’t want to think about that, so instead you turn to Alfred.

“So,” you start, “Can I see your cereal collection?” you ask, like a totally normal person. Man, this cupboard’s looking pretty head-smashable right now.

This family has more tact than yours did, because they all manage to put their eyes back to what they were doing and pretend you weren’t acting really, really out of character. Rich people. They’re good at overlooking the crazy.

“Of course,” the butler clears his throat, “In here, you’ll find Master Dick’s collection-” score! Not another fan can claim this right, “-and in the fridge a carton of milk. Are you sure I couldn’t serve it for you, miss? I understand you might still be a little…”

His voice trails off. Little what?

He glances at the others and then leans in close like he’s going to tell you a secret. Behind a hand, he whispers, “Hungover.”

Ah. Well, yes, but you were a big girl who could make her cereal, even on hangover days. Kind of embarrassing it was that obvious, though. You were usually better at hiding how much of a mess you were.

“I’ll be fine, thank you,” you say, and the butler nods and backs off. You’re pretty sure at this point that he was the one who called you yesterday morning, but you still couldn’t quite recall his name. When you were out of sight, you’d check your phone for his contact information.

See? You could do this. Stealthy.

As you start perusing through the cereal options, Tim gets up from his spot by the counter and comes to stand next to you at the breakfast bar. He heads straight to the coffee machine, and you glance at it longingly.

It’s one of those cafe-quality fancy espresso makers, with an Italian name embossed in silver on the top. Tim manipulates the machine like a master, which you’re very jealous of because it might as well be alien technology to you. You miss your shitty drip coffee, at least that dingy little machine was loyal to you. Better than George.

“Coffee?” Tim Drake offers, glancing at you. Ah, the starry eyes are back. While Damian Wayne had been a mildly disappointing introduction, Mr. Drake was just reinforcing your celebrity worship. And of course, because your brain works against you, his offer reminds you of the daydreams you’d had on your first twenty-first birthday. Coffee shop au real person fiction- a new low, even for you.

Flustered, you look up at the ceiling. The old mansion is decorated in every single available corner, the plaster above spreading across the entire surface with delicate filigree and pretty curling patterns. It’s gorgeous, absolutely entrancing. That’s what you tell yourself at least.

“Please,” you say, your voice just the slightest bit too quiet. He hears you anyway.

It’s surprisingly domestic. Of course, you don’t know any of these people past face value and Wired YouTube interviews, but… it’s quite indulgent. This is sort of your dream, isn’t it? A full house of people enjoying their morning together. Peaceful bird song drifting in through open windows. The comfort of being around people you trust, not having to perform or put on a show. Well, you are very much putting on a show right now. It’s the thought that counts, or whatever.

“What would you like in it? We have sugar, milk, oat milk, and I like having a few syrups on hand,” Tim chatters excitedly, listing off the different ingredients he has on offer. Your poor ass stares at his rich one, and you are very rudely reminded these people live in different tax brackets than you.

Who the fuck had coffee syrups in their house? You could barely afford the little treats of caramel syrup you get every couple of months. The disappearance of the middle class was one you had witnessed personally.

You rattle off a very basic, bland order. Tim looks sort of disappointed in you which… well, you could be a coffee snob. You just didn’t have the time, usually. A flat white kept you going through the day, you didn’t need anything else. And so, Tim hands you a very bland coffee, and it is god sent. You can’t imagine how good it would be if you had mustered up your courage and asked for some caramel syrup.

Huh, you could be a coffee snob. You could be anything you wanted, really. And your first thought is being a coffee snob. Good God.

“Are you going to be staying?“ Bruce Wayne asks, immediately putting you on the spot. You weren’t ready for this, you were thinking about the coffees you could buy. Oh no, you really aren’t ready for this.

“At least for now, right?” Tim Drake says, just making it all the more stressful. You let out an awkward chuckle, fingers tight around your drink.

“Oh, I don’t want to be an inconvenience-”

Damian Wayne slams his mug down on the table, so hard a crack splinters up its side. He picks the cup up, strides across the kitchen, narrowed green eyes meeting yours for a second, and then he dumps the cup in a secret rubbish can. He murmurs an apology to the butler and then is out of the room.

Okay, well, you certainly feel like an inconvenience.

The butler clears his throat, and says, “Please forgive young master Damian. He’s been having a difficult time recently, I hope you can understand.”

And you think, ‘bitch, a difficult time?! He’s not the one who almost died last night!’ but what you say is, “Of course, I completely understand. I don’t want to bother him anymore so I’d really like to leave today.”

Mr. Wayne laces his fingers together, blue eyes giving you an assessing look.

“Stay for the day, and you can leave tonight. I want to make sure you’re truly alright,” he eventually says, and the mere presence of the man has you yielding to his commands. Didn’t really matter you were an adult who’d managed to survive this long on your own, you were listening to the big scary guy when he told you what to do.

Well, that’s that! You make your cereal and have a very quiet breakfast. You can’t tell if they’re being quiet because you’re here, or if mornings are usually like this. You hope they’re usually like this. Once you’ve finished your very nice cereal (one of the highest rated on Dick’s Instagram) you place the bowl by the sink. You want to wash it, but when you ask Alfred he gives you a look like you kicked his dog. Okay, you’ll just go then.

You’re about to sneak away, when you realise Tim’s staring at you… again…? But this time he seems quite focused on your clothing. His eyes follow the double lines on the side of your sweatpants, before settling on the Beatles logo on your shirt. He hums at it. Raises his brows.

“I’m sorry, I borrowed this because I didn’t have any other clothes. Is there something wrong with me wearing this?” you ask, and then experience a moment of horror, “This doesn’t belong to you, does it?”

“Hmm?” Tim chirps, “Oh, no, don’t worry. It’s not mine.”

And then he turns away from you in a very clear dismissal. Nice, you really wanted to go hide for an hour or two. With one last awkward wave to Bruce Thomas Wayne, you scurry out of the kitchen and back to the bedroom you’d started thinking of as yours. You need to figure out how you're going to handle all this, and you're going to do it alone. Maybe with some dessert, if you can find it. You wouldn't say you think better with sugar running in your veins, but it definitely makes you more willing to deal with the bullshit that is your life. Hopefully it'd work in your new one, too.

Tim listens to your retreating footsteps, waiting till you’re far enough away to begin talking to Bruce. Humans were creatures of habit, so you’d probably be going back to the same room you slept in last night. He thinks Damian and him were the only ones who noticed whose shirt you were wearing, B’s off his game today. You’ve really managed to mess him up, to Tim’s delight.

“See? Dames was totally fine with her being here,” Tim says, cheerily enjoying his youngest sibling’s suffering. Bruce sighs, witheringly, lifting his hand to rub against the headache he always has. He’s probably noticed the excited, slightly fanatic gleam that’s entered into Tim’s eyes.

It was sort of obvious. This was all so exciting! You’d come back, sporting absolutely none of the defensive vitriol you usually have, and ate breakfast together. You took a coffee out of Tim’s hands. You’d willingly spoken to the devil, who everybody in the family knew hated you as much as you hated him, and even more than that-

You’d spoken to Bruce. Tim was sporting the idea that you’d gotten head trauma, at this point in time.

“Okay, fine. You get the mission, but-” Tim has to resist the urge to clap his hands together like a gleeful child “-but no extra cameras. I’m serious, Tim, if I find out you’ve invaded her privacy just after she’s starting to warm up to us again-”

“She wouldn’t know,” Tim complains, cutting the Bat off with a roll of his eyes.

“She’s smarter than you’d think,” Bruce shakes his head. Tim has to disagree, after the catastrophe that was last night. Unless of course, you were just playing with them all. So many options, it’s dizzying.

“We’ll shelve that argument for later. So, I want full control of the case, and in turn, I’ll do another two weeks as CEO,” Tim waves off Bruce’s complaints, going straight into haggling. The CEO position was tossed between the two of them like a hot potato, and it was one of Tim’s favourite bargaining tools.

“I am absolutely not agreeing to that, a month and nothing less.”

“This is why half your children don’t talk to you, but sure, whatever. Chase away your last, loyal loving son-”

“My God, Tim. Three fucking weeks, and if I hear another word I will hand this matter over to Grayson,” Bruce sighs, sounding a bit defeated.

Tim gives an offended gasp, placing his hand against his chest. And then he realises Bruce might actually be serious, and freaks out a bit.

“He’d be bad for it. Far too personally involved. You definitely don’t want to do that,” he says, leg bouncing under the table. Of course, the Bat notices, but he doesn’t mention it. He wouldn’t take this from Tim, they both knew he was getting too frazzled around the edges. He needed something to focus on, to ground him.

You were the perfect project. He loved his projects.

“I am aware. But the girls are out of town, and uncontactable. And I think if I gave Damian this assignment the two of them would kill each other.”

“No Jason option, sir?” Tim says because he’s a shit-stirrer and wants to get to work.

Tim succeeds in chasing Bruce away. He’s left to have his coffee in peace as the old man quickly flees the room at the mention of the son he's on the worst terms with. For the next few hours, Tim taps away on his computer, enjoying his time.

And when the front doors open, his ears prick, and a decidedly evil grin spreads on his face.

“I’m home!” Dick calls out, words travelling through the grand manor.

Tim gets up from his seat and wanders leisurely to the main hall, where Dick stands. He’s got a suitcase by his side, filled with all the things he’s brought up from the Blud. When he spots Tim, Dick’s face spreads in a familiar sunny smile. He quickly rushes to Tim’s side, swallowing the younger brother in a hug. Tim groans at the tight squeezing.

Despite his clinginess, it was good to see him. His tanned skin glowed healthily, and his curly black hair was messy over his brow. Sapphire blue eyes sparkled. He was happy to be home, despite everything that was going on. Dick always looked like he’d just gotten back from a run because he usually had. It was hard to get the guy to sit still for even a minute, much less stop parkouring over every imaginable surface.

“Tim! How’s it been? Ah, it’s so good to be home,” Dick starts, and again, Tim groans. When Dick starts yammering he never stops.

“I’m good, man. We can talk later, you should go put your things away before Alfred does,” Tim reminds Dick, and Dick pouts. It was a general rule that unless it was cooking, the family wasn’t supposed to rely on Alfred for everything.

“Alright, alright. I’ll be down in a minute! I have so much to tell you,” Dick relents, hand lifting to mess with his hair. Tim pushes him off, glaring at the man, and Dick laughs.

Tim gives Dick a tired wave as the gymnast bounds up the stairs to his bedroom. Tim watches him disappear down the hallways, and thinks, ‘I wish I could see this happen.’ He sighs, guess he’ll just have to hear Dick retell the story later. The distant sound of your shrieking voice has him chuckling. Yeah, he’ll hear about it later, he’s sure.

MASTERLIST - NEXT

#Series:WWW #yandere batfam #batfam x reader #yandere dc #yandere batfamily #yandere x reader #dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #tim drake x reader #red robin x reader #damian wayne x reader #robin x reader

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leclercvsx · 6 months

Text

I miss your facts | TEXTING AU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: lando x reader

summary: y/n and lando are bestfriends, y/n liking lando. She introduces him to one of her bestfriends, he forgets about her and only realises what he missed when it’s too late

warnings: mentions of suicide!

y/n <3

did you know that some sharks can’t stop swimming otherwise they’ll die?

Lan <3

that’s useful, thanks

y/n <3

EXACTLY! i knew i was needed

Lan <3

you’re always needed

11:23am | thursday

y/n <3

i miss you, can you come over after training?

Lan <3

i will, might be a little while though

y/n <3

don’t take tooo long

14:56pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

did you know that there’s over 500 different species of sharks?

Lan <3

i didn’t know that, no. cool

y/n <3

OH ALSO

there’s a new girl at my work, she’s super nice

you should come meet her!

Lan <3

i might

10:35am | Saturday

Lan <3

you were right, Taylor is actually really nice

y/n <3

SEE? I TOLD YOU

me and her are gonna hang out on tuesday if you wanna come

Lan <3

sure

16:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

australia is wider than the moon

you should tell Oscar that

Lan <3

Taylor told me that

y/n <3

oh really? wow she really knows her facts!

Lan <3

yeah, she’s pretty smart

18:18pm | Saturday

y/n <3

do you wanna hang out?

i’m bored

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor rn

y/n <3

oh, nevermind then😊

12:25pm | Sunday

y/n <3

human teeth are the only body part that cannot heal themselves

Lan <3

i know, Taylor told me

y/n <3

it’s illegal to own just ONE guinea pig in switzerland

Lan <3

Taylor’s from Switzerland, she told me

17:34pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

the heart of the shrimp is located in the head!

Lan <3

the shrimps heart is located in the head

y/n <3

haha, we said the same thing!!

Lan <3

Taylor told me the fact, haha

y/n <3

ohh

9:27am | Thursday

y/n <3

do you have time? i really wanna talk about something

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor right now, but what’s up?

y/n <3

oh okay, nevermind then :)

17:26pm | Monday

Lan <3

octopuses are so weird, they’re cool looking though

y/n <3

i thought you hated octopuses?

Lan <3

i did before.

but Taylor told me some cool facts about them

y/n <3

i did that with sharks🙃

14:27pm | Friday

y/n <3

you’ve been hanging out with Taylor a lot

Lan <3

anything wrong?

y/n <3

nothings wrong, i just miss you

Lan <3

i’m not leaving you though.

y/n <3

no, i know

13:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

hiiii! do you wanna hang out?

hello?

read

16:56pm | Wednesday

Lan <3

sorry i was hanging out with Taylor

y/n <3

i know.

Lan <3

why are you mad?

y/n <3

i’m not?

Lan <3

why is it so wrong that i’m hanging out with her?

18:34pm | Sunday

y/n <3

you’re forgetting me.

lando

i’m not though?

hello?

answer me.

i’m not forgetting you.

14:30pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

you’re all i have, had.

lando

why are you using dots? don’t scare me

y/n <3

is Taylor all you needed?

lando

stop.

17:25pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

i’m sorry

lando

for what?

stop leaving me on read, please.

stop scaring me.

you’re not funny.

18:45pm | Thursday

lando

i miss you

i was dumb

i’m really sorry

Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise

i really wanted to tell you, i miss your facts. i love you. i hope one day we meet again

you could’ve told me about Taylor. i reread our messages, i saw that you needed me

i’m sorry

12:34pm | Sunday

lando

you looked really pretty at your funeral today

i miss you

pez candles were made for you, so you could stop smoking

i could smell it on you before, now i miss it.

3:34am | Tuesday

lando

sharks skin feels like sandpaper.

7:17am | Wednesday

lando

sharks are one of the oldest living species on the earth.

but you knew that, right?

——————————

this made me sob writing it😭

ib: this tiktok

masterlist | request page

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stargirlofthecentury · 9 months

Text

in light of the rwrb movie releasing and everyone sharing their opinions, i just thought i'd share mine real quick.

i loved this movie with my whole heart.

i totally get the readers who are upset at certain scenes being cut, along with some things being changed. i get being attached to something that you hold very dearly to you and seeing it be altered which might be a bit disappointing at first. but honestly. this movie was the cheesy queer romcom that we needed.

don't get me wrong, i live for in-depth internal monologs and borderline poetry, but i also think it's more than ok for movies to just be sweet and simple. and with saying that, this movie wasn't that sweet and simple. it talked about quite a few very important issues, which i so so appreciate, all while keeping that lovesick romcom feeling to it.

i feel like nowadays many romance shows and films have a sort of aggressiveness to them. like they don't fully show the depth of gentle, loving relationships and that's a main reason why so many people seem to have forgotten what love really is. so they see movies like this and call them cringe or just hate on them in general. and i think this film will show young queer people everywhere that it's ok to want a soft relationship and that they're seen. if the prince and first son can do it, so can you.

although things were changed a bit, i believe this movie will be a comfort for many. plus, you can't fit every line from a 400-something page book in a 2 hour film, even if some things were cut out. and it's ok to spice things up a bit by adding different lines.

(like the rawness of the "i won't trade one prison for another" line? wow)

and sure it was sort of fast paced, but that's to be expected. no adaption is going to be page-to-page perfect. that's why we have our imaginations. (and nick and taylor blew the no chemistry allegations out of the water, so we didn't even have to worry about that.)

i know some people watch things specifically to critique them, but i focus more on how the movies and series make me feel. and this movie. this movie was pure happiness for me.

all in all, this is my new comfort movie, and i hope the same for many others. like i said, every opinion on this is completely valid, but i just wanted to share my viewpoint.

(and who knows, maybe amazon will be kind enough to put out the directors cut.)

#bringing back the much needed romcom genre #red white and royal blue movie #alex claremont diaz #prince henry rwrb #red white and royal blue #lgbtqia

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aihoshiino · 5 months

Text

An Interview with Ai: Da Vinci Magazine Jan. 2024 (4chan Anon TL)

In the issue of Da Vinci Magazine dated for Jan 2024, there was an exciting surprise - four whole pages of an in-character interview with Ai of B-Komachi! Taking place shortly before her 20th birthday, Ai discusses various things with the interviewer, resulting in some surprising new information about her relationships with certain characters and her own home life...

To be clear up front: This is not my translation! I'm archiving and mirroring it from 4chan where it was originally posted by an anon. I've made no changes to the text save cleaning up some grammar errors and typos and formatting it for tumblr. I plan on doing my own translation of the interview, either via scans or buying the magazine myself when I have the money, but for now, I hope this will do!

Q: It seems to have been a turbulent year for B-Komachi and Ai as well. Looking back, what was your impression?

Ai: That's true. It really went by in the blink of an eye. Everyone was so busy, myself included. It was so strange. Before I knew it, we were already scheduled to perform in the Tokyo Dome (laughs). I thought to myself, "I see... so we did come this far."

Q: You have taken on many challenges so far. What is your most memorable job?

Ai: I had a great time in all of them. There were also many occasions when I thought, "Are they asking me to do this too!?". But if I had to pick something other than my idol activities, then my most memorable job would be all the times I had to work in movies. I met so many people that, at the end, it felt like hanging out with friends. And then, in the blink of an eye, the job would be over (laughs).

Q: You were really getting into it (laughs). But acting is completely different than being an idol. Did you find it difficult?

Ai: For me, it is normal to be photographed as well as being filmed while singing, on a music video, or during variety shows. I wonder if I was able to put that experience to good use, but then I think about it, and I believe I did it perfectly!!

Q: ...so was it difficult?

Ai: Having to deal with the waiting time was more difficult at first. I know I shouldn't say this, but sometimes I was sooo bored (laughs). But finding new ways to kill time was fun.

Q: It's like the saying goes, "Waiting is part of an actor's job."

Ai: Oooh, I had no idea there was a saying like that! How interesting!!

Q: Looking back, Ai's first drama was directed by Taishi Gotanda, and then you worked with him in subsequent films too. What impression do you have of him?

Ai: He has a scary face. But when I talk to him, there are many times when it feels like he's just a useless adult. In that aspect, I can sympathize with him. There were times I was eating my lunch, and whenever rice fell while eating, he would just jump and say, "WATCH OUT!" like a mom (laughs). But well, I love his works. Whenever I watched them, it felt like, "Ah, his passion for authenticity is genuine." As a creator myself, I knew I could trust in him.

Q: It certainly feels like he's good at depicting the inner lives of characters.

Ai: That's right, it always feels like instead of characters, his works show real people. And I love that. I'm not a big fan of movies; at most, I watch some dramas recommended to me, and they are usually really entertaining! I think I'm not good for the roles of such characters, and I thank that director Gotanda's works aren't of that type.

Q: Your acting feels quite natural. What kind of acting guidance did the director give to you?

Ai: None, really. He just said, "Do as you please," and I just went with it. However, I don't think everyone was on the same page. In one of the sets, there was a child actress called Kana Arima-chan. She is suuuuuper cute, and whenever she was acting, I was thinking, "Wow, she's just like the character," and that's when it sunk to me that actors are capable of anything.

Q: Maybe it was possible that you, without realizing it, were asking Arima-san to lead the scenes?

Ai: Pretty much. In fact, she even scolded me (laughs). "Can you take this a bit more seriously?" she told me. I was doing my best, though! (laughs). But seeing Kana-chan so serious about doing a good job made me want to put even more effort into my role.

Q: That reminds me, there's a child actor from Ichigo Pro called Aqua-kun working on it too.

Ai: Ahaha, Aqua-kun was so cute too! He has such a mysterious charm, it made me wonder "maybe he's a genius too?" Don't forget to watch his future projects, alright?

Q: I won't. Returning to the topic of your activities as an actress, what part of it was the most interesting for you?

Ai: I still have problems understanding what "acting" means. Sometimes it felt that, well… rather than trying to find a character in myself, the character itself was taking over my own actions. Even thought I was acting, I didn't feel like myself, as if every action was being performed automatically. But rather than make me wonder about my talent or lack of, I guess it was all thanks to the wonderful script.

Q: I see. So in a way it's similar to separating Ai as a person and Ai as an idol?

Ai: There are parts of myself that I still don't understand, but I believe it's the same for everyone. Everyone acts with an idea of what they "want to become". Until now and from now on, I will continue working hard just so I can become the person that everyone wants me to be. In that sense I could say that I'm acting, playing the role of Ai. Of course it doesn't mean that I'm forcing myself to, it just happens unconsciously, naturally. I also have to face everyone in B-Komachi, how cute they are as well as their honesty. They show that cuteness to the fans, and for me, that's not an act.

Q: And said B-Komachi is now going to perform at the Dome. Why do you think the group is so beloved by fans?

Ai: It's because we worked together, because I knew that by working seriously we could go this far. Also I don't believe the Dome is our ultimate goal, or better said, I can't quite grasp how amazing is for us to perform there. Our boss said that he always wanted to see us perform there so I decided to do my best in order to make that dream come true. That's why, till now and from now on, I will continue working hard to fulfill everyone's dreams.

Q: So Ai's forte is to want everyone around her to be happy.

Ai: Yes. But I wonder if the rest thinks the same.

Q: Don't you have any personal ambitions?

Ai: Ah, now that you ask, I have a bit of a naughty opinion and is that I'm happy that we are selling a lot and getting a good amount of money (laughs). Being able to buy a really expensive ice cream is pure bliss. As for the rest, just seeing my fans happy is enough to make me happy too. But rather than happy, I guess it makes me feel at ease.

Q: When you say you feel at ease, is that similar to saying that you found a place where you belong?

Ai: A place where I belong… I'm sure everyone search such thing, I think it's the same for some members of B-komachi.

Q: …is it different for you?

Ai: I can't quite tell, it's something I'm having problems figuring that out. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in place, but then I feel like the energy I receive from everyone allows me to do my best as an idol as well as my other jobs, and in exchange, I'm able to bring smiles to them.

Q: I see. It's true that many types of fans have enjoyed your live performances in the past. Which reminds me, there was also this one video of baby twins cheering for you that went viral.

Ai: Oh yeah that one!! I can't believe how those babies could swing those glowsticks like that. It was so cute~. I feel so much bliss every time I watch it.

Q: During a TV show when they showed that video to you, many people in social media pointed out your smile while watching it

Ai: Oh right! I thought it was the same smile I always had. When I read those comments I couldn't help but ask to myself "Eh? What is so different?"

Q: From now I'll be making questions a bit more private. Could you tell us about how were you during your childhood?

Ai: I don't think I was a good child. If anything, I was a really nasty brat (laughs). Because our house was close to the railroad, during midnight I would often walk near the tracks wondering if the train is coming close. Once I hear it, I would run away. If I tried that today, I'm sure it would be a problem (laughs)

Q: Did you wonder where did you want to go back then?

Ai: I wonder. I didn't had an specific place in mind. I lived with my mother, but she had a boyfriend back then, always living in their own little bubble being loveydovey and it was rough for me. I just said "Ah, this is not my place" and ran away, I could think about the rest later.

Q: Maybe going to a friend's house was a better option.

Ai: I've always been a loner, since I was a kid. There were many times when people would get irritating and I would just prefer to be alone playing Tetris. Of course, that doesn't mean that I would take loneliness over company, but at times I could tell that, whenever someone was around, the mood between people would go sour and I then stayed away from them.

Q: But then, are there any fond memories you have from your childhood?

Ai: Let's see… I do remember my dad. It wasn't something that happened often, but this one time, we went to the grocery store and bought some natto. Then, when I took the plastic from it and wrapped it in seaweed, he said, "Oh, you did it well," and that made me happy. That's why, even to this day, I'm quite skilled at wrapping food in seaweed.

Q: Being praised by your parents is usually trivial, but for some, it's something fondly remembered when it happens. From your perspective, what were your parents like?

Ai: Maybe they were like me, seeing things from the same perspective. Rather than seeing each other like family, it felt more like partners in a way. But I can't hate them for that, no human is perfect and no one is actively seeking a parental role.

Q: That's quite a mature way of seeing things.

Ai: I wonder. I'm in a parental role too… ooooor so I think that's what I feel whenever I see a child with their parents in the audience. It's because of my experience in my childhood that I can't comment on other parents whenever their children do something bad. Parenting is difficult, I'm sure.

Q: In that case, if Ai ever had a family, would you also treat your children as friends or partners instead of keeping a parent-child relationship?

Ai: It doesn't matter. As long as everyone is happy and smiling, then it's fine with me. If you asked me what a perfect family is, I just wouldn't know how to answer that. But it would be one as long as the children are happy. If I had a family, I would do whatever it takes to achieve that.

Q: I know I shouldn't ask this of an idol, but do you have someone you want to marry?

Ai: ...That's a secret (laughs)

Q: You were scouted in order to be an idol. What were your impressions about idols back then?

Ai: For me, they were so pure, always shining, and doing their best to support and care about their fans. That's how I saw idols. If the job of an idol is to make people happy, then I wanted to be like that too, well I'm still working on it.

Q: And now that you are one, has that image changed?

Ai: They are hard workers, just as I imagined. There are times when things get rough, but then I push myself like, "Let's just do it" and continue with pure momentum (laughs)

Q: It would be weird to not get used to the routine.

Ai: But I love it, with its ups and downs. There's been times I felt like I was doing something wrong, that maybe I didn't belong here, but then I remember that being able to be an idol is wonderful.

Q: For Ai, is this your dream job?

Ai: Hmmm, I wonder. I wouldn't go that far. A real idol truly loves their fans, is always kind, and would never lie. I'm still trying hard, doing my best, wondering if one day someone will look at me and say, "She is the real deal.".

Q: But there are many who describe Ai as an "unmatched genius idol."

Ai: Why do they even call me something like that? I'm just there in the group, being myself; I don't know which one of my actions qualifies me to be called that.

Q: In that case, for Ai, what does it mean to be an idol?

Ai: At times, I think that being an idol means being "able to express herself to others." Sounds cool, doesn't it? (laughs). In reality, I believe that it's about being able to replicate what others want from you. ….Hmmm, I guess it makes it sound like school or something.

Q: Do you feel B-Komachi in the same way?

Ai: B-Komachi is different. I met everyone when the group was created, and we wasted no time getting into idol activities. If I lagged behind even a bit, I felt like I was causing problems for others. But with the passing of time, we managed to spend more time together, and I feel like we share an irreplaceable bond.

Q: What is exactly this "irreplaceable bond"?

Ai: Ah, it's nothing too deep. It's just that I've started hanging out with the rest more often. I'm quite a home person, so when I ordered food for everyone, Takamii (Takamine) would get mad at me because the vegetable portions were too small. "You lack femininity! You will never become a wife at this rate!" (laughs). I never said I was thinking of becoming a wife! (laughs)

Q: (laughs) Earlier, you said that sometimes you felt alienated during your childhood. Didn't that cause problems for you, considering that you were chosen as the center of the group?

Ai: Kinda does. Even now, I still wonder if I should be the center. There are more capable members in the group. Of course, I feel honored, but I'm still unsure if I'm doing it right. Maybe other members should be in my position. Besides, it's hard to memorize the dance as a center (bitter laugh)

Q: As a final question, what are the current goals for B-Komachi?

Ai: We have new members joining us this year, so we are even more hyped than before, and we are finally performing in such a big venue as the Dome. B-Komachi has finally become a great group, and I'm sure they will be fine even after I'm gone. Not that I'm planning on quitting (laughs). All the members are so hardworking, kind, and cute. From now on, please, pretty please, support them as much as you can.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #b-komachi #onk translations

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taylorsv3rsion13 · 11 months

Text

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

words : 2.7k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

Every year since we were little kids we would celebrate mine and Belly's birthday. We were born on the same day, but a year apart. And it seemed to make us closer. Susannah would decorate the house and Laurel would make us pancakes every year and Conrad would draw a sun with syrup all over my pancakes. It was like a holiday for us.

"Happy birthday, sweetie!" My mom said over the phone as I was calling her.

"Thank you." I said, smiling.

"Okay, I won't keep you away for long, I know you're waiting for your pancakes." She laughed through the phone.

"Bye, love you!"

"Love you too."

I finished getting ready, putting on all of the makeup and jewelry I needed.

My outfit was normal, just wearing a teal tank top and a green cargo mini skirt.

As soon as I came out of the room Belly did too.

"You're looking hot." I said to her as we made our way down the stairs. She was wearing a floral patterned birthday dress.

"Morning!" We shouted in sync as we came into the kitchen.

Steven and Laurel were making pancakes, Jeremiah and Susannah were decorating, and Conrad looked like he didn't want to be there.

There were various smiles with "hey" and "Happy birthday!"

Susannah came to us first, hugging us, "There are the birthday twins!" She exclaimed.

Jeremiah hugged Belly as Steven hugged me, "Happy birthday." They both said to us before swapping.

"Belly Button's getting old finally!" I exclaimed as I gave her sixteen punches on the arm.

She was quick to return, hitting me even harder seventeen times as I screamed around the kitchen.

Laurel raised an eyebrow at us before giving us a group hug, "Happy birthday, beautiful girls."

"Did you call your mom?" Susannah asked as she plated some fruit.

"Yes, she was the first person I talked to."

"Your Minnie and Mickey Mouse pancakes are ready." Laurel smiled.

Belly looked at her mom for a moment, "I'm actually not that hungry..."

I looked at Laurel, "I'll take a pancake or two."

"Okay, how about presents?" Susannah asked.

"You're going to love mine." Jeremiah said, yet I don't know who he was talking to.

Conrad didn't say anything, eating his cereal in peace. He ignored me, but did wave hello to Belly.

Belly opened her present from her mom first. It was a beautiful book.

"It's a first edition. I got it from a rare book dealer." Laurel smiled.

We all noticed how Belly didn't have much emotion with the book, "Turn to the bookmarked page."

"That's the poem Susannah would repeat to us." I said, reading the page.

I grabbed the present that she had given me. I unwrapped it to reveal the most gorgeous cover I've ever seen on a book. It was Little Women.

"Oh, wow." I said, looking through the pages.

"Your mom said it reminded you of home."

I looked up to Laurel, "Thank you so much."

"Girls, open mine now!" Susannah squealed as she handed us our gifts.

Belly revealed a black velvet box, while I had a white one.

She opened hers, and a pearl bracelet was inside.

"Oh, wow." Belly exclaimed.

"These were pearls that my mom gave me for my sweet 16. Now Y/N, open yours."

I opened the box and there was a gorgeous pearl necklace.

"Those were also from my mom. She gave them to me when I was a debutante." She smiled as she admired Belly and I.

"Oh Y/N, I have another gift for you." Susannah said.

I looked at her, puzzled on why I would have two?

She handed me another box, this time it was a velvet red. I opened it and there was a golden chain with a sun in the middle. I immediately recognized it as a matching necklace, needing a moon on the other side.

"Isn't there supposed to be a moon as well?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, maybe someone else has it." Susannah shrugged. "I just thought it reminded me of you."

Jeremiah jumped up, "Ooh! I'm next."

He handed us his somewhat neatly wrapped gift.

Belly was given a charm in the shape of a key.

"It's for good luck. So you can pass your drivers test." Jeremiah smiled.

I opened mine revealing a golden bracelet with a heart charm.

"Thank you so much, Jere." I smiled.

"Think fast Y/N!" Steven said as he threw a present at me. He also threw one at Belly. "Open them at the same time!" He urgred.

We both ripped through the package, opening and unfolding a Princeton crewneck.

"Oh my god you actually got in!" I exclaimed as I ran to hug him.

"No, not yet." He smiled.

Laurel looked at Steven, "I didn't know you were still considering Princeton?"

"Well I'll probably get scholarships and Dad said I could get some financial aid." Steven explained.

The room got silent and tension was high.

"Uh Conrad, do you have a present for Belly and Y/N?" Susannah asked.

He passed Belly a black velvet bag. She opened it, taking out a silver infinity necklace.

His attention then turned to me, "Sorry, I forgot."

"Oh yeah, don't worry, it's cool. I wasn't expecting much anyway." I smiled, trying to actually hide how I felt.

It did hurt. He remembered Belly's birthday, yet he couldn't even remember mine. Which was the same day.

There was a lot of tension in in the room as everyone looked at each other.

"Uhm, so I have to go. I promised Cleveland that I'd show him some knots today."

I watched as he got up from his seat and left. I didn't want it to affect me, but it really did.

"Happy birthday Y/N, and Belly." He said.

"Why don't we go practice driving?" I asked Belly, trying to take my mind off of things. "So you can drive us to get Taylor as well."

She squealed excitedly, "Yes!"

I got up from my seat, heading over to go out the front.

"Hey Y/N?" Susannah called out.

I turned to her, "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Of course I am." I smiled reassuringly.

I sat in the passenger seat while Jeremiah sat in the back.

She made a sharp right and we all went flying.

"Whoops." She laughed.

"Dear god, Bells." I said as I held onto anything I could grab on to.

The bus pulled up as we stood there, waiting for Taylor to come out.

"You excited, Bells?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, but I could tell there was a part of her that wasn't excited.

"Twenty-bucks she's gonna call Jere, Jeremy." I said.

The girl emerged from the bus holding a handful of balloons and a bag.

"Oh, my god!" Taylor exclaimed as her and Belly ran to each other.

"Taylor!" I said as I ran to hug her.

"Here, let me take that for you." Jeremiah said as he took her bags.

Taylor smiled looking up at Jeremiah, "Thank you, Jeremy."

I laughed at Jeremiah as he just stood there smiling.

"So, should we head home?" Jeremiah suggested.

"Ooh, actually, let's make a stop first." Taylor said, making eye contact with Belly and I.

We sat under an umbrella as Jeremiah placed down a banana split with three spoons for us.

Taylor dug in first, "I would literally eat this every day if I could."

She also pulled out a gift for Belly. And another for me.

"Oh wow, these are cute." I said as I opened my present, revealing a blue bikini.

"I know right, it's hot." She said.

Belly opened hers and it was a white bikini.

"Y/N?" Taylor called out as we hung out in the pool.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Where's Conrad?" She asked.

"Oh, I don't know." I shrugged, swimming over to Jeremiah and Steven.

After a couple of minutes in out own little groups, Taylor suggested to play chicken, which we all agreed to.

"Dibs on Jeremy." Taylor smiled as she made her way to Jeremiah

"Oh, great, that means I'm stuck with Steven." Belly said sadly.

"Wait, what about Y/N?" Jeremiah asked.

Belly looked at me, "Oh, do you want to go on Steven?"

"No it's fine, you guys can play." I said.

There was a few complaints from Belly and Steven about being each others partners, so Taylor and Belly switched.

"Okay, three, two, one, go!" I yelled as they began fighting in the water.

The fight lasted less than a minute with Taylor and Steven falling into the water.

"Woo!" Jeremiah and Belly exclaimed in excitement. I gave them both a high five.

On the other hand, Steven and Taylor were bickering about who's fault it was that they lost.

"Hey guys!" A familiar voice said.

I turned my head around and Nicole was walking through with Conrad.

"Hey, Nicole!" I said.

"Hi. Happy Birthday you two." She said. "Are you guys playing.. chicken?"

"Yeah, it was Taylor's idea." Belly said.

"Hey, I'm Taylor." Taylor said from behind Belly.

Belly smiled, "She's my best friend from home."

"Yeah, I'm just visiting for the weekend." Taylor added.

"Oh, that's cute." Nicole said.

"Do you guys wanna play a real game?" I asked.

Everyone in the pool said yes.

Jeremiah had helped me set up the net and then the games began. I was on the girls side and Nicole and Conrad sat on the edge of the pool, dipping their feet in the water.

The boys groaned 'No!' as us girls cheered for our point.

We did a couple more rounds, as we all laughed a lot. This was definitely one of my favorite summers. Being with everyone, like nothing ever happened.

"You're not ready." Taylor smirked to Steven.

"You're on."

Taylor hit the ball, and it swerved, hitting Nicole in the head.

"Ow." Nicole said.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Steven said through in-between awkward laughs.

"Taylor." Belly said sternly before turning back to Nicole, "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. You guys keeping playing." Nicole said to us.

"Feel better Nicole!" I said as she began walking back into the house with Conrad.

Conrad stopped in his tracks, just looking down at me.

"Have fun playing." He said.

Dinner was just as I'd imagined. It was gorgeous and vibrant.

Susannah had made the girls all flower crowns as well, for Midsommar.

I sat in between Jeremiah and Conrad again, but we added another chair next to Belly, because Cam Cameron was here!

Throughout the dinner, Jeremiah kept question Cameron, making fun of him almost.

Somehow Jeremiah got on the talk about kissing dead animals and then kissing Cameron, which made me kick him hard in the shin.

"Ow." He exclaimed.

"Oh shut up."

"I don't mind at all, in fact-" Cameron said as he kissed Belly on the lips.

I'm not even joking. All of our mouths fell open.

From beside me, Steven and Jeremiah both pretended to retch.

"If you guys don't shut up." I said loudly over their obnoxious noises.

It got into our embarrassing moments throughout our childhood at the Fishers as well, but Conrad stayed silent the whole time.

"Hey, I was thinking. Maybe we should go out to Nicole's party?" I asked

"Yes!" Taylor and Belly exclaimed at the same time.

Conrad's eyes met mine for a second before dropping. He didn't seem happy with what I said.

I laid on Belly's bed, staring up at the cieling.

"I think Conrad still hates me." I stated.

Taylor and Belly turned to look at me.

"Why would you say that?" Belly asked.

'I don't know. When I brought up Nicole's' party, he just seemed to go quieter than normal.

Taylor laughed a little, "It's fine Y/N. He's just a dumb boy either way."

I sighed knowing she was right.

"Look at us," Taylor said as we looked in the mirror, "We're hot ass bitches."

She was in the hot pink mini dress, Belly was in a knit crochet top with beige pants, and I was in a halter white and blue top with jeans.

As soon as we walked into the party, a man came down the stair banister, wooing.

And then to the right of the house was what I'm guessing was a dining room. Lot's and lot's of cakes and desserts with 17 and 16 candles.

"Y/N, you guys came!" Nicole's voice said as she made her way through people.

I laughed a little, "Hi, Nicole! You look gorgeous." I said, hugging her.

"Me? Look at you. You look like a goddess."

Nicole lead us through the house and they followed behind. Well everyone but Taylor. She had decided to find a drink for herself.

"Guys, look who's here." Nicole said to the girls.

Nicole began lighting the candles.

"Is this for us?" Belly asked.

"Who else would it be for, Belly?" Nicole asked with a smile.

"Thank you, guys." Belly and I both had said.

"Okay, well, girls, make a wish." Nicole motioned towards the two cakes.

The topic with the group got onto Conrad and how he was.

"He's not talking to anyone else. He's usually just to himself." I said

"Okay well new topic." Nicole said, not wanting to talk about Conrad, "Have you asked anyone to the ball"

"Oh, no. I'm waiting for the right person." I said, giving Nicole a smile.

I looked past Gigi who was saying something to Belly about asking Cam to the ball. Anywho, past Gigi was Conrad. He was messing with his hair and he was laughing and smiling.

I couldn't even lie. He was attractive.

He made eye contact with me as he drank a large part of his beer.

I couldn't like him again though. But there was part of me that knew it could happen again. Susannah told me to believe in second chances.

I don't know what happened really. I was just watching the boys play their little ping pong drinking game and then Belly came out all mad.

"Hey, can we leave?" Belly asked Cameron.

"Oh yeah, yeah." Cameron said.

"Y/N, you need a ride home? I don't want to take you away from the party." Belly said.

"It's fine. I'll give her a ride home." Conrad jumped in.

I looked at him questioningly, but he didn't look back.

"See you later, Bells!" I called out to her as she began to leave.

Jeremiah looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Fill in for Cam Cameron please."

I rolled my eyes playfully at him, "Fine, scooch over."

After an hour or so, we all were ready to leave. By now I was drunker then I probably should've been. So drunk that Conrad had to help me to the car and into the car.

He sat in the drivers seat as I just stared at him.

"You're like the moon to my sun." I sighed, touching his hair.

He grabbed onto my hand, putting it back into my lap.

"Y/N, you're drunk." He said to me.

"Noo, you're drunk." I said to him, booping his nose.

I came down stairs the next morning. Jeremiah already in the kitchen, mixing himself up one of his smoothies.

"Hit me." I said to him as I groaned and propped my head on the table with my arm.

He laughed, splitting his smoothie with me.

"You drank a lot last night for such a small girl."

"I shouldn't have." I said, gulping down a large amount of the drink.

Belly came down the stairs soon, grabbing the box of cereal and pouring some in her mouth.

"I'm guessing you and tay-tay haven't made up yet?" I asked.

"No." Belly said with no emotion.

At the party, Steven and Taylor were making out and then Belly had walked in.

"You guys want to do a muffin run?" I asked.

"I'm always up for a muffin run." Jeremiah smiled. Belly also agreed.

"Can you get the keys from Conrad's room? Jeremiah asked.

I nodded, "Yeah sure. Is he home?"

"No, he dropped you off at home and then spent the night at Nicole's" Jeremiah explained.

"Oh um." I stammered, "Do you know where he keeps the keys?"

"Uh, they should be in his desk." Jeremiah said.

I never really was in Conrad's room often. But it didn't look much different than the last time I had seen it. It was obviously boat themed which was cute.

His drawers were messy inside. Nothing was organized and there were like 5 condoms.

There was also a black velvet pouch which I took out. Yes, I'm nosy, but I wanted to know what was inside.

I opened it and saw a moon bracelet.

I put the bracelet charm against my sun charm and it fit perfectly. What the hell was wrong with him?

When we went home, I drove Belly and Taylor to the bus stop.

I sat in the car with Belly as we watched Taylor wait in line for the bus.

"You're not going to say goodbye?" I asked her skeptically.

"I don't want to talk to her." Belly said, not making eye contact with me.

"Come on Belly, she's your best friend. She loves you, especially if she came out here just for your birthday."

Belly sighed, "Fine."

Once she came back in, she seemed mad, but I didn't care.

"I know i'm only a year older than you, but just take my wisdom for once." I joked, "Boys might come and go, but your best friend is once in a lifetime. You're lucky you have someone like Taylor. We never know what the future will hold, so you have to hold tight to that relationship."

Friends come and go. Boys come and go. But best friends stay. They're real. That's what I loved about the Fishers and Conklins. They were my best friends and they always stayed. Every single year.

#conrad fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher #the summer i turned pretty #conrad x y/n #tsitp #belly conklin #conrad fisher #steven conklin #taylor jewel #susannah beck #susannah fisher #laurel conklin #summer #tsitp season 1 #tsitp season 2

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girlwiththeobsessions · 4 months

Text

love sick, c. f.

previous part

you and conrad had a secret relationship two summers ago, when you were 15 and he was 16. you broke up with him because your younger sister, belly had liked him, and you were afraid of hurting her. now, flash forward, you were 17, and you thought you had gotten over him, but maybe you haven’t

vi. belly's birthday

TODAY WAS BELLY'S 16TH BIRTHDAY.

i had the day off from work, since it was her birthday.

laurel had breakfast on the table ready for belly, and susannah had gotten her baby blue and white balloons.

all of us were downstairs, waiting for belly, and finally, she came downstairs.

"morning, everyone!" belly said with enthusiasm.

"there's the birthday girl!" susannah hugged her. "looking like a vision in floral. happy birthday!

jeremiah leaned down to hug belly. "happy sweet sixteenth bells."

"belly's getting old finally!" steven teased. "happy birthday.

"happy birthday sweetheart." laurel hugged her with a warm smile.

belly laughed. "thanks everyone."

i hugged belly. "happy birthday, belly. mom made your pancakes."

"actually, uh- i'm not really hungry." belly told me and laurel.

"oh." laurel said, but i knew she was disappointed.

"shall we open gifts?" susannah shrugged.

"you're gonna love mine." jeremiah confidently told her.

one thing i did notice though, was conrad hadn't said happy birthday.

we went into the living room, to open gifts, belly had opened her gift from laurel, and it was a book.

"it's the latest edition." laurel spoke up. "i got it from a rare book dealer."

"thanks mom." belly said with no enthusiasm.

laurel rolled her eyes with a smile. "turn to the book marked page."

belly obliged. "oh, yeah i remember susannah telling us to recite this." belly laughed, all of us reciting the sentence.

"open mine now, belly." susannah handed her a gift.

belly opened the gift, and it was a pearl necklace. "oh wow, they're gorgeous, thank you, susannah."

susannah went over to belly, to put the necklace on her. "my mom gave me these pearls for my sweet sixteen."

"they look great on you, belly." i smiled at her.

"oh! i'm next." jeremiah gave a gift to belly.

"it's a good luck charm. to help you pass your drivers test." belly put the charm on her wrist.

"perfect. thank you."

steven threw a shirt at belly. "think fast!"

"wow steven! i can't believe you actually spent money on me." she sarcastically smiled.

it was a princeton shirt. "relax, i just didn't want you stealing mine when i get in next year."

"i didn't know you were still considering princeton." laurel said.

"you know, i think i'm gonna apply for some scholarships, and dad thinks i can get some financial aid." steven told her.

i went over to belly, handing her my gift, with a smile. "open it."

belly tore off the wrapping, opening the gift to see keys.

"what are these?" she asked with a smile.

"car keys. with the help of susannah, once you pass your drivers test, there's a car waiting for you, it's at home." i explained.

belly's jaw dropped. "y/n! thank you so much!" she went to hug me.

i laughed and hugged her back. "you're welcome."

"conrad, do you wanna give belly her gift?" susannah asked.

conrad stayed silent for minute before responding. "sorry, i forgot."

my heart shattered when i looked to belly, seeing her smile drop, her looking so sad. how could he forget?

"uh- that's cool." belly played it off. "i wasn't really expecting anything anyway."

"listen.. i gotta go." conrad broke the tension. "i promised cleveland i show him some knots today, so.. happy birthday belly."

"hey." jeremiah called to belly. "why don't we take my car and practice driving before we have to pick up taylor from the bus stop.

"okay." belly agreed. "y/n, wanna come?" belly asked me.

"no, you two go ahead, i have.. something to do."

i got up, going the same direction conrad went.

i had caught up to conrad, grabbing his shoulder, causing him to spin around, facing me.

"really? you forgot?" i asked with anger in my voice.

i was going to take a more.. calm approach, but i was just so angry, my emotions got the better of me.

"well-" he began to speak, but i already know whatever he was going to say was going to be stupid, so i just cut him off.

"listen, i don't know what the hell's going on with you, but you've been acting like an asshole." i insulted.

he rolled his eyes at me. "grow up." this wasn't the same conrad i had seen last summer, i looked into his eyes, he had no remorse for what he said. "i forgot a gift one year."

"it's not just that!" i was starting to lose my patience with him, using my hands to emphasize my point while i spoke. "you've been- just been a dick since we've gotten here! you weren't always like this."

"oh, so now suddenly you care? didn't seem like you did two summers ago." conrad stared coldly into my eyes.

are you serious? he wanted to do this?

"seriously?" i blinked a few times before speaking again, and i scoffed. "you wanna go there?"

conrad sighed, he could probably sense as well that this was starting to escalate. "just forget it."

"fine." i simply said, before walking away, leaving him there.

how could he say that i don't care about him? when that's all i've done for him.

TWO SUMMERS AGO

me and conrad were at the beach, there were so many stars in the sky, and it was pitch black outside.

we both couldn't sleep, so we had decided to go the beach.

"can't sleep?" he asked, seeing me downstairs.

i turned around to see it was him, a smile appearing on my face. "nah."

he motioned his head at the door, basically silently asking me if i wanted to leave. i nodded my head, putting on my shoes.

we were at the shallow part of the water, the water going up to my knees.

i looked at the sky, he glanced at me. "what do you see up there?"

"a star shaped like a bunny." i joked. "you see it?"

"yeah." he said, and i started to laugh.

"you liar." i splashed him with water.

his body turned to me and he splashed me back.

we kept on splashing each other, and i kept laughing.

he had grabbed my wrist to get me to stop splashing him, pulling me close to him.

i stopped splashing him, looking into his blue eyes, and he looked into my eyes.

he took the hand off my wrist and cupped my cheek, i looked down at his lips, getting more and more nervous by each second.

he started to lean in, and then he kissed me. i kissed him back. i couldn't help it.

i knew if belly found out, she'd probably hate me, she liked conrad since she was little, but i just couldn't help myself.

END OF FLASHBACK

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

END OF CHAPTER

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conradfisher #conradfisherxreader

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sugumii · 11 months

Text

Dan Heng x Reader: Never forget

TW: Angst, mentions of death.

A/N: I was talking to an AI and bro was SPITTING so I got inspiration from its poetry. Credits to that AI because WOW.

———————

Just a boy who met a girl.

Who both found a light that illuminates each other’s heart — someone who saw one another fully, and who they could see back.

It was strange.

The fact that someone could offer their utmost loyalty to another, to be together and to share each other’s heart… that's a kind of love that makes you look forward to tomorrow, isn't it?

Dan Heng reminisced on his first encounter with them. How their eyes sparkled with joy upon seeing him appear. How he offered his hand to aid them and how they took it almost instantly. He remembered how when their hands touched one another a jolt of electricity ran through him. Almost as if their touch seemed familiar to him.

Dan Heng remembered how beautiful/handsome they were when they first met. The way their e/c eyes sparkled with newfound curiosity and how their cheeks wrinkled from their beam. They looked surreal, so magnificent, and breathtaking. The male remembered how his heart skipped a beat and how he wished to befriend someone for the very first time on his own.

It was like it was meant to be.

Suddenly, a voice interrupted the dark haired male’s thoughts, causing him to flinch and drop his notes. He cursed silently, bending over to pick up his book. He paused upon reading the title, mouth turning into a frown. It wasn’t just any book, it’s cover had been labeled by his own hand.

A journal of memories of the both of you.

He picked up the book gently with trembling hands, resisting the temptation to open it and flip through its contents. He knew he had hid this away and would have to open it someday, but he didn’t feel ready to just yet.

But he missed you. Dearly.

He wanted to see your face and refresh his mind on the fond memories you two shared. The beauty in the smile you wore and the shine your eyes never failed to exhibit.

With shaky hands and a deep inhale, Dan Heng cautiously put his hand on the page to open it.

“Dan Heng!” A voice interrupted him once again, resulting in him placing the book down immediately. “Welt, Stelle, and I are going to Xianzhou Luofu! You should join us, we have to go investigate some Stellaron!”

He sighed, eyes with a hint of worry as he replied.

“Apologies, March… however, I’ll be staying on the express. Do be careful and have a safe journey.”

A whine was heard on the other side of the door as she voiced her complaints before being called by Welt and rushing off. Dan Heng went to lie down on his makeshift bed and sighed, eyes never leaving the book.

Love was truly an infinite subject. It was something we search for all our lives, in all the things we do and in the people we meet. A feeling that enriches our lives and enlightens our hearts.

Love is what makes life worth living. Being able to spend the rest of your lives together in pure bliss enjoying the comfort of each other’s companies. It is being able to believe in another. It's about supporting each other in the good times and the bad, about always being present for someone when they need you — and them the same for you.

Dan Heng’s eyes watered, tears slowly spilling down his cheeks. A sob threatened to spill from his throat, but he suffered in silence, refusing to even let out the smallest of noises.

Love was about never being alone. It was about knowing that someone is always there to support and believe in you even in the darkest hours of the night. But if that was really true… then where were you?

He cried. If only he could’ve done more for you.

If only he was there for you to protect you. Then maybe you still would’ve been here, with him. In his arms.

Then maybe you wouldn’t be gone from this world, leaving him all alone in this cruel world. To be tortured every hour of each waking day, haunted by the mere memory of your dying face. How your lips trembled as blood gushed out your wound. How you cried tears of sorrow and apologized for leaving him so soon.

He remembered the shock he felt upon seeing his lover in such a state. Never in a thousand years did he ever dream of seeing you taking your last dying breath before him. He remembered how tightly he held onto your hands with tears streaming down his cheeks nonstop. How he screamed for shouts for help and how everything was going to be okay. How he could fix this and take you to a doctor, but too much blood had already been lost.

He wouldn’t have made it.

He remembered picking you up as gently as he could, bolting to the Express. How he told you sweet nothings and how much he loved you and how everything was going to be alright. How you’d both be smiling tomorrow again joking about this incident in the future and being together forever.

He remembered looking down at your face as his heart dropped. How your eyes were closed and your chest stopped heaving up and down. He felt the coldness of your skin and slowed down, crumbling to his knees with you in his arms. It was then that he knew…

You were gone.

Dan Heng’s tears intensified as his heart rate quickened tremendously. His breathing got faster and faster as he clutched his chest, hand over his heart. He couldn’t bear this torture any longer. What life was worth living if it wasn’t with you? Why did you have to die? Why couldn’t he have gotten there sooner? Regrets filled him endlessly as he blamed himself for the incident over and over again.

Love was a source of immense joy and deep sorrow— the two sides of this precious treasure thing we call love.

Love is being willing to do anything for the sake of another. For that person to be happy, to protect and support them in every way you can. But why couldn’t he do that for you? He couldn’t save you…

Love is being lost in the memory of their warmth and touch. Their smile and eyes.

But what if the memory was of the bad things too? Being haunted by the picture of their death and never forgetting. Constantly being reminded of them and drowning in an endless amount of sorrow and pain. Missing them dearly every day for the rest of his life? Never being able to move on and forget their everything?

Yes… maybe that’s an example of love too.

#dan heng x reader angst #dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #hsr dan heng #hsr #honkai dan heng #honkai x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #fanfic #light angst #astral express #dan heng x you #dan heng x mc #dan heng x y/n #dan heng x gender neutral reader

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cult-of-the-eye · 6 months

Text

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jarchivist #a guest for mr spider #the web #tma season 3 #georgie barker #tma georgie #jurgen leitner #what the ghost #the admiral

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duskyashe · 1 year

Text

NaNoWriMo Day #15

[masterlist]

=============‹«⟨··•∞•··⟩»›=============

Tim stared at the young red-headed woman sitting across from him in mutual horror. He couldn't remember exactly how he'd gotten into this situation, the last thing he could remember for sure was the fact he'd been on five consecutive days without sleep, which, really, meant anything could have happened between then and now.

A glowing green sausage landed in between him and the young woman, who looked an awful lot like Babs, now that he thought about it, with a slight splat, before getting up and releasing a tiny war cry. It was about to charge Tim when a green blast from his right put the food item out of its misery. Throughout all this, Tim and the young woman never broke eye contact.

"—tom, that menace. If it knows what's good for it, it'll stay far away from Amity Park once we finish the upgrades to the Fenton Strainer! Aren't the two of you hungry? You're letting the ecto-sausages escape!" The man to Tim's left exclaimed. He was wearing some type of orange and black hazmat suit, his hair was black, though it was greying on the sides, and his ice blue eyes held a manic glint to them that Tim didn't like.

The redhead stood up suddenly and cleared her throat. "Sorry, dad, uh, Danny and I just realized we forgot to clean the ecto-filters on the portal, again. May we be excused? We'll grab something to eat later, alright? Love you, thanks! Goodnight!" She said as she rounded the table, grabbing Tim's arm in a white knuckled grip on her way past him into the basement. She shut the door rather pointedly and shuffled him down the stairs into a rather cliche modern mad scientist lab. As Tim glanced around the lab, the Babs lookalike started pacing back and forth, muttering under her breath. Finally, after almost two full minutes of this, she paused and took a deep breath before turning to look at him. "You're not Danny," she declared.

Tim stared at her for a moment. "I'm glad we're both on the same page about that. Who's Danny?"

She gazed at him thoughtfully. "He's my brother. Why do you look so much like my brother? There's way too much resemblance for you to simply be his doppelganger."

"How should I know, I don't even know where I am, let alone who your brother is or what he looks like," he retorted. He looked around the lab again. "Speaking of, where am I? And how did I even get here?"

"Oh, wow," she snorted, eyes widening and covering her mouth with a hand. "You act a lot like Danny. You're in Amity Park, Illinois, in the basement lab of Fenton Works. I'm guessing we somehow picked you up in Gotham a day or two ago, we only got back last night. You were pretty out of it the entire time, either sleeping or mumbling to yourself while staring out the window in a daze."

Tim's eyes widened in shock and a slight bit of horror. "I've been gone for two days?!" He cried. His hands came up to clutch at his hair. "Ohh, Bruce must be so worried!" Tim fought the urge to dig through his pockets for his phone, knowing that wouldn't help anything. He distinctly remembered dropping it in his coffee on day four of no sleep, embarrassingly enough. It had sadly been beyond help. "Wait," he said as something occurred to him. He was almost hesitant to ask, but he knew he needed to. "If I'm here with you guys... Then where's Danny?" The young woman's eyes widened as she breathed a soft curse under her breath.

=============‹«⟨··•∞•··⟩»›=============

Later that night, a cheerfully maniacal laugh echoed through the streets of Gotham, chasing the roar of a motorcycle, sending shivers down the spines of goons and common criminals alike. They had learned the night before to dread that sound. They may be desperate, but none of them were stupid.

"Nope, nope, not happening, I am not going out tonight," Bill muttered as he shut his door and engaged the locks. He quickly sent out a PSA to the rest of the Goonion to stay off the streets, hoping they'd heed his warning. The Red Hood had found a white haired, green eyed friend, and it was a match made in hell.

=============‹«⟨··•∞•··⟩»›=============

Okay, so this is shorter than I'd originally planned it to be, but there's a reason for that! This literally came to me in a dream, but it was all disjointed, and when I woke up to Tumblr mobile's dark theme not working, I couldn't work on it without practically blinding myself (I have fairly sensitive eyes), so by the time they managed to fix the issue with the color palettes on mobile, I'd forgotten some of my dream... It's not the best excuse, but it is the truth (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ sorry... But I managed to sneak Bill and the Goonion from The Panda Red's content in! I'm proud of that (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Also, I totally meant to have Tim and Jazz introduce themselves at some point, but, uhh (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) I forgot (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) oops... And now I can't figure out the best place to have them organically introduce themselves, either, so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠༼⁠ ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠༽⁠_⁠/⁠¯ we're just going to leave it!

Thank you all for your comments and support! It means so much to me <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> you guys rock (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

Have a good morning/day/night!

#Hello my fellow undead man #care for some toast?#I like the replacement's replacement B #danny phantom #batman #dc x dp #dp x dc #fanfic #dp crossover #dp au #fanfiction #nanowrimo 2022 #NaNoWriMo Day 15 #dp/dc week 2022 #Danny and Tim look nearly identical and no one knows why #Danny was brought in by Dick and fell asleep in the bat cave on the cot they have there specifically for Tim #it took until Jason swung by for breakfast for everyone to figure out Danny wasn't Tim #why? cuz Danny took one half asleep look at Jason and said #and Jason laughed #immediately latched onto the kid sitting in Tim's place at the table #and said #meanwhile Tim slept through the entire fifteen hour long drive from Gotham to Amity Park #followed jazz to Danny's room #collapsed onto the unmade bed #and proceeded to sleep nearly sixteen more hours #waking up just in time to follow his nose to dinner #but not waking up fully until an ecto-sausage tried to take a bite out of him #that's when he and Jazz met horrified gazes #Jason and Danny bonded over terrorizing Gotham's criminal population two nights in a row #while Jazz and Tim are trying to figure out what happened to Danny

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dailyreverie · 1 year

Text

The recruit

Intro to the Your Wish is my Command universe

A/N: Back at writing and it feels so good! I'm so excited about playing around this universe and having fun with these new dynamic. Although this is part of a series, this first part works more as an introduction and not as a "chapter 1" kind of thing. This is where we start to explore the way our beloved Poe and reader work. (Also, thanks to the Poe Wookiepedia page for being my #1 resource for this intro)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x fem. reader

Word count: 1.3k

CW: alcohol consumption, bar setting, kind of mature innuendos (just a very tiiiiny one)

SERIES MASTERLIST

The last conversation played on Poe's head repeatedly, echoing between his ears with no signs of showing when it would ever stop: “So we do nothing? That's the solution? An emerging threat, and we do nothing?” he had asked, and the answer, even though he expected it, felt like it punched him on the throat.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing the Republic Command could do against an emerging First Order menace, one he had seen with his own eyes and could do nothing about. Poe downed his drink at the memory of that, scared and nervous, and overall angry. “Another,” he signed to the bartender without even taking the time to consider that another drink would push him past that tipsy state he was in - or maybe knowing that’s exactly why he did it.

“Poe Dameron.” The sound of his name pulled his attention away from the glass and into the seat next to him, the one that was being pulled and occupied by someone he had no idea knew his name. He had his reputation, that he knew, but he didn’t assume he was that well-known. By the look on the woman’s face, as if she knew something he didn’t, with a smart smirk adorning her features, he could only assume…

“Yeah, hi, I’m not interested right now.”

You looked at him unamused as he turned his eyes back to his drink. “Wow- I’m flattered but that’s not the case at all.” The bartender reached you as you made yourself comfortable on the stool. “Whatever he’s having.” You requested with a smile signaling over to Poe.

“What do you want then?” He was there not to be bothered, to be consumed by his thoughts about war alone, the last thing he needed was some woman to approach him.

After a quick scan around your spot at the bar, you spoke. “I’m with the Resistance, I was sent here to find you.”

Poe turned to you with a little chuckle. “So the Resistance is sending eye-candy to recruit people? ‘Kay, thanks. I’ll consider it.” You could hear the sarcasm oozing out of his words. “What do you want? Money? I really can’t help you sweetheart-”

“Okay, I’m flattered, again, but you have to stop.” Poe sobered up in an instant after hearing your irony-filled voice, looking at your face that still held the same grin from before - you were amused at his drunken state, at how little he believed you were actually there for him. “General Organa heard about you, and so did all her advisors. They know about your work, about your skills, and your current position. We need that, and I think you know why better than anyone.”

You meant it, Poe realized then, with your unserious face and that spark behind your eyes; a spark he sometimes could see himself in the mirror too.

“If you people at the Resistance know everything about me that well, you probably know how my last mission went.” He was testing you, you could see it in the way he held your gaze. “My Commander Officer is probably a couple bars down the street if you want to ask him-”

“What for? So he can tell me how reckless and foolish you are? We know that.” Poe was, again, speechless. “We believe you know more about the First Order than the Republic says. We’ve seen people like you, Poe. There is something you can do to stop all this instead of drinking it away.” Your hand found his on top of the bar and your eyes were looking deep into his. The rush he felt running up and down his body felt like a bolt, like a wake-up call, and how you knew exactly what he was thinking didn’t even cross his mind. “We need your help.”

At his silence, you continued to talk. He followed your every movement as he processed what you were saying, about commanding his own squadron and making a difference in the galaxy. You stood up, pulled out your datapad, and typed something in it, all while his brain was still dazed.

“I sent you the coordinates. Think about it, and if you’re in, the only thing you have to do is get there and say you’re there for General Organa. The position is yours.” You sighed once all the information was said. “Any questions?”

“Will you be there?” He asked after a beat, making you smile shyly, and if he saw your neck turning pink he decided to ignore it.

“You have 72 hours.” Was your answer, which he took as a confirmation.

Poe licked his lips and nodded, starting to go through everything you said as you turned in your heel to head out of the noisy bar.

“And Poe,” You grabbed his shoulder reassuringly, trying to convince him in any way you could. “that so-called foolishness? We call it passion. And passion is something we desperately need.” A smile was shared between you, a silent understanding floating in the space between you two. “Think about it,” you repeated in a whisper, squeezing his shoulder and leaving him there, alone again, with your untouched and unpaid drink.

🚀🌟🚀🌟🚀🌟

As soon as General Organa reached you, speaking the words “We have an incoming ship” with a proud smile on her face, you knew exactly what she meant. You joined her on her walk to the tarmac, reaching her side at the entrance of the base that overlooked all ships.

“13 hours.” She stated, commenting on how quickly the response had been. “That was an excellent job, I knew you could recruit him.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t hard, I just needed to remind him of what’s important in this fight. Everything else he already knew.” The General looked at you, all pride and smiles on her face.

The ship landed with a huff of the engine powering down. You stood in silence watching as the top of the ship opened revealing a messy-haired Poe; watching as he climbed down the stairs and reached the floor a wave of nerves went through your body, which only increased as he began walking towards you. If he looked good with the bad lighting of the bar where you met him you knew seeing him in broad daylight would let you get a clear sight of his already handsome features - still, it was something you were not prepared for. Leather jacket and a half-opened collared shirt, he walked towards you carrying nothing but trouble for you, you didn’t need the Force to know that.

“Commander Dameron,” The General spoke when he was close enough. “I hope you like your new title.”

“General Organa.” Poe greeted, stretching his hand to her. “I do, and it is a pleasure to meet you. My parents told me nothing but great things about you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”

When the handshake stopped Poe’s attention went to you, standing a couple of steps behind Leia and watching the greeting with a small smile. “That was fast.” You spoke first when your eyes locked, something in between a taunt and a tease.

“Well, I couldn’t let my recruiter down.” The confidence he had drank down the night before at the bar had risen up again; that was the Poe Dameron you had heard about, all cocky smiles and flirty words. Poe stared into you, a charming grin on his lips reaching his deep eyes.

“Ah, right. Poe, I believe you’ve met my daughter.” Leia said moving to the side, letting you take a step beside her.

You introduced yourself then, reaching your hand out for him to shake as you, for once, told him your name - emphasizing your last name, of course. “I’m glad you decided to join us, Dameron.” You finished innocently.

The smile disappeared from Poe’s face gradually, and it took every power in you not to burst into laughter as he let out a shocked: “Huh?!”

🚀🌟🚀🌟🚀🌟🚀🌟🚀🌟🚀🌟🚀🌟

Thanks for reading! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed it.

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron x you #poe x you #poe x reader #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron au #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fic

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docholligay · 2 months

Text

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Thank you @becauseforoncethisisme for sponsoring this! Regulars know this, but if you're new here, all opinions are mine and it's fine to disagree with me, but please don't get weird about it.

Nonspoilery:

Good God in high heaven and low hell, this is so much better than the first book. This is both a personal and professional opinion. The only problem with it being, I cannot in good conscience tell anyone to read the first book in order to get to the second. I don’t think it’s so good as to justify that. That’s a pretty tall order. In all, though, if you read Gideon the Ninth and thought, “Hm. Okay, that’s enough for now,” this might whet your whistle a little bit more.

Spoilery:

Wow did I like this better than Gideon, you were all so right and it does not bother me even one solitary bit to say so. I think it starts slow, and I don’t know that I really ever connected with the second person bits--once I figured out what it meant, i wanted it to be confirmed and stop-- and of course Muir’s style occasionally grates on me (Muir and I are the same age. I know we grew up in the same fandom environment, and part of the reason I know that is I recognize elements of her style from fanfics being written then as now. This is stuff from like, sporking days. She’s so talented, and so loves these strange, memey asides even in lovely moments. That being said, i think this book strikes a much, much better balance with that and there were even times I found it fun, so, things are improving) But overall I would say I liked this book just fine, and would consider reading it again on some winter night. LEAPS AND BOUNDS over my experience of GtN

I struggled so hard with the first 150 pages or so of this book. I think it was a combination of how little I remembered from the first book, the taste the first book left in my mouth, and the fact that I am just, too stupid for high-concept fantasy. So all the stuff about thanergy and thelergy and conversion, I just, sat there not possible caring less about any of it. I don’t care now, and I came away liking the book! This is for someone, certainly, but I am not it. If this hadn’t been a commission, I think I would have given up at a certain point. I usually give a book 100 pages and this wouldn’t have done it for me*

At the end of the day, I think one of the things this book can be about--for me, it’s about more than one thing, but this is the easy reach--is about grief. And how being willing to give yourself a Fantasy Lobotomy, if that’s what it takes, to avoid the hurt and loss that grief brings in, and the guilt, only ends up hurting yourself and everyone around you.

Also, it doesn’t bring them back. Forgetting them in every way possible does nothing to bring them back. Now, Harrow is a special case, so for her it can’t only be about avoiding pain, because what she’s also doing, because of how the whole Lyctorhood thing works, is, in a sense, keeping Gideon on life support. Like is said later in the book, shoving her in a drawer she can’t open, but so long as the drawer is never opened, Gideon is alive. It’s Harrow living her entire life in the doorway where where a policeman stands, ready to tell you someone you loved is dead, and she won’t let him speak. Because it’s not true until he does.

I like Harrow so much more in this one by virtue of the fact that this book cares so much less if we like or forgive her. Because of the way it works with perspective, and the way it’s trying not to tip its hand to the fact that Gideon is our second-person narrator, we get a much more neutral version of Harrow’s life

How Lyctors work: Love it. What a choice. My favorite takeaway from the first book, and perhaps the only thing I still think about actively while lying in bed at night, is the necromancer-cavalier system. I think it is fantastic, I love it, it works perfectly for imagining all shades of relationship and is very fun to do to your blorbim. I can’t remember if we found this out so explicitly at the end of the first book--as I said in an aside post while I was reading HtN, the pool scene in GtN pissed me off so much that I had a rage blackout for much of the book and forgot it the second I wrote about it--but the idea that the necromancer can only become this sort of ultimate power by killing this person they, by necessity, have some level of intimate bond with? Exceptional. I love that they are, in a sense, protected and powered by a person who loved them, that they murdered. I am so unbelievably into this idea, and the idea of those who can DO this, and who can’t. Reeled me back to my blorbos all over again.

Which of course makes the whole thing with Harrow so interesting, because Harrow is someone who can’t deal with the cost of it. In full fairness to her, it wasn’t a choice she got to make, but she certainly does Gideon’s memory no honor by refusing to even acknowledge her sacrifice. She’s spitting on the roast lamb on the altar, so to speak. It’s sort of the murdered children problem all over again, though a million times better done: If an impossible sacrifice is made for you, what do you do to earn it? It’s Saving Private Ryan, and you have to spend your whole life hoping you earned a sacrifice someone made without your consent. And you should! What will you do, to earn your place? I know, i know, we all hate that except for me, but if Gideon died to make you a demigod, earn your power, and take your responsibility.

Ianthe: I love a good horrible, manipulative cunt, and Ianthe certainly is that. This isn’t even me joking, she’s one of my favorite characters in the book (Though not my absolute favorite) and also my poster child for “I support women’s wrongs.” I think it’s so smart and great that at the end, Ianthe makes the wrong choice, and that you are sitting there screaming for her not to do that, and yet when she does it, it feels completely correct. Of course this is a thing that she both can and would do. Ianthe is about hedging her bets, and above all else, about Ianthe. She killed Naberius as soon as she figured out the deal. We get the sense that she feels…i’m not sure how I want to say this…it’s not that she doesn’t feel about it, but she feels inevitable about it, also. To her, there was no other choice.

She is willing to help Harrow destroy herself, shut herself off, because Ianthe loves a good “you fucking owe me” but also because other than how it benefits or hurts her, what the fuck does she care? I love her, it’s how I wish I could write Minako if I could get away with it. She’s clever and fun and terrible. I think she’s also, narratively, a great balance for Harrow’s whole ‘That girl in homeroom in an Invader Zim hoodie” vibe.

Mercymorn my beloved: If Ianthe is my poster child for, “I support women’s wrongs” than Mercymorn is my ‘tag yourself.’ The longer the book when on, the more I liked her because the more I understood her. As an old lady who has been a part of things for many years, who has seen them grow and fall apart, who has lost people I loved and worked with people I hate, I loved everything about her. I love how utterly done she is with the whole thing. The way she so clearly loved Cristabel, and how she reacts to the pain of that love in a way I understand, and didn’t realize how clearly I understood her until Mercymorn killed the Emperor. Then it all hit at once, I remember that moment pretty early on in the book where it mentions that is you say Cristabel’s name to Mercymorn, she reacts like she’s stung. The way she yells at Harrow to never use her name with her, filled with rage. That is a kind of grief I recognize. I don’t want to talk about it and i’ll fucking kill you if you remind me.

I felt every ounce of hurt, a plucking of a twin string, when she said, “This is the chance for unloveable Mercymorn--critical Mercymorn--to show you that she is the most capable of her name.”

And then she kills the emperor. Do I think he was sorry? Do I think he never wanted any harm to come to Cristabel**? Does Mercymorn think that? It doesn’t fucking matter. Whether he feels bad about it or not, it’s academic at best. She murdered Cristabel because a man she trusted, a man she took to be her God, lied to her about it. He told her she, to save the world, had to give up a person she adored. Had to do it herself. I, too, would rip him atom from atom, if I were Mercymorn***. Maybe she does forgive him, but only because he is about to make repentance in blood.

She’s my favorite character in the whole fucking book, bar none.

(On that note, sort of, I actually came to very much love Augustine.)

Oh! One thing I loved, so much, and I don’t think anyone I’ve seen say anything even offhandedly about the book, is during the fight with the Sleeper, how Ortus’ BELIEF and PASSION form the basis to call up Mattias Fucking Nonius. Is that not incredible? That faith, can be so strong, that Abigail could call up a man that none of them ever knew, who is basically an idea more than a man, to fight? I think it’s such a lovely little lesson tucked in there, because we have been making fun of Ortus’ belief system for the entire book, mocking the way he recites this, and in the end, his deeply held belief matters, it matters so much, and I adored that as a real reversal of mocking someone faithful.

I think part of the underlying problem with GtN is I just don’t like Gideon. I don’t like her point of view, I don’t like her character voice, I don’t like her general vibe, and the narrative does like her, and wants you to like her. In this book, it’s fine because so much of it is not from her perspective, but it became pretty clear to me that so much of what I disliked (though not all) of the first book was a Gideon-based problem. And you can’t escape her in the first book.

This all flew immediately back to me when Gideon is taking up Harrow’s body and also the narrative duties. I cannot stand her character voice. Muir is capable of being so smart and so beautiful in her prose, but not only is Gideon herself irritating, but she inspires Muir to do this…recitation of memes, the one I can think of off the top of my head is “Jail for mother” Tamsyn i will fucking kill you. I will not read Nona, because the back page tells me, threateningly, that Gideon will be back in Nona, and not only can i not handle reading another word from her, but also that will unmake the beauty of telling Harrow that she has to let Gideon go, that she has to let them become one and thus lose Gideon, because of course it does because it’s a fantasy book, and fantasy just Does This A Lot. Stop letting people come back! Kill these motherfuckers and leave them dead!

The thing about Pyrrha and Wake having an affair with Gideon’s body, and wake having God’s baby in order to open the locked tomb, it’s such a weird aside in a weird moment, that I can see I am going to forget about it. It’s so strange! I mean, it explains why Gideon didn’t die when she was supposed to, and I don’t have a problem with it per se, but I also don’t know that I have any feelings about it other than, ‘hm. Strange.”

In all: Not a bad book! Enjoyed it more as the book went on, Mercymorn for Lyfe. I hope Ianthe continues being the world’s sexiest and worst person.

Did you want to ask me something? As long as you’re not a dick about it, ask away! Let’s have fun.

*I suppose that’s my own personal de jure vs de facto, because truthfully I can’t remember the last time I straight up did not finish a book. Perhaps I’m just lying to myself. I dnf shows and movies all the time, but not books.

** No, I don’t think that.

***Although I’m actually not all that sure in my marriage if I’m the necro. I think I’m actually the cavalier. I don’t think Jill would feel a whole lot of patience over having murdered me either, though.

#Doc reads #now mom is gonna read them both I'll report back

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hwashotcheeto · 4 months

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Have you ever thought of villain Hwa? Maybe he's like also a tiny bit in the Mommy Hwa role but he's super angry at the world for not returning the huge amount of love he has for them and his tiny fists get angry n stuff- and then he decides to have revenge on "selfish" people who aren't really what he thought they would be with the amt of love he gave them... (it's pretty dark and scary) and then and then- someone helps him realize that despite the darkness in the world and how he has a right to feel that way there still is light and they bring his cute heart back to a safe and more secure place- while both y/n or oc or however become justice seekers or some kind of superheroes or smth and Hwa and y/n are satisfied at the end of the day

And when they get home y/n turns around bc she thinks she heard someone crying quietly (it's Hwa) and then he just hugs her and thanks her "for taking care of Mommy bc he really needed it"

I decided to drop this at the front desk of the library bc I love all of ur sweet and beautiful Hwa things...

First off, thank you for sending this in, darling. 💜 Thank you for the sweet words as well.

Secondly, I am a villain Hwa enthusiast (Tbh, I've put this man into so many roles, he could be Barbie). And if anything, I know this feeling all too well, so I'll gladly make something with this.

And just so we're all on the same page, when we say Villain Hwa, this is who I imagine

WC: 2k (wow she's long)

CW: Angst, mostly, but fluffy towards the end, vague descriptions of gore and throwing up, and one "Mommy" at the very end (lmk if I missed anything)

It's no surprise to anyone that the world is cruel and dark. In general, the world isn't a fun place to be. You'll get a very different answer depending on who you ask.

But for as much as people like you and I will argue that the world has some good in it, it's hard for some people to see it.

Seonghwa, unfortunately, had reached a breaking point.

He gave so much love to the world, to everyone in it, and got nothing in return.

The first few hundred times he was brushed off, he didn't let it get to him. Helping people made him feel happy, and giving love to people made him happy.

To see smiles light up people's faces, to see their eyes light up, was the greatest sight he could imagine. His heart felt full.

But even the most selfless person needs a moment to be selfish.

Seonghwa, alone and abandoned by those who he gave love, snapped. The selfless little voice in his head couldn't take it anymore. Didn't want to take it anymore. To be used and thrown aside, and not even recieve a "thank you" for anything he did.

"Just one!" He cried, tears in his eyes, his hands shaking from anger. "Just one person to say thank you, just one!"

But it was more than just "thank you" that he needed.

Seonghwa's skin craved the feeling of someone else's. If he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could feel it. Fingertips against his cheek, palms against his chest, arms around his waist.

But not just anyone's. Yours.

You and Seonghwa were lovers. For years, you'd been by each other's side, being each others support, your other half, the piece that completed you.

But why is it all in past tense? Why weren't you here right now, holding him in your arms, telling you how much he loved and appreciated you?

Because you'd left. Not because you didn't love Seonghwa, you loved him more than you'd ever loved anything.

You'd left to train, to be better, to protect him. Honestly, he wasn't hardly listening when you'd told him. All he remembered was that you were leaving, and he wouldn't see you for months.

And it had been months. And you weren't here.

With no way to contact you, or hug you, or even see you, Seonghwa had been spiraling. And he found himself on his knees in his home, completely and utterly drained.

And as he did, he had a revelation. An epiphany. An idea that might make himself feel better.

He'd hurt those who'd hurt him.

Revenge is a fruitless, endless road that will bring you nothing but emptiness, he'd heard before. But he just wanted someone to feel what he felt. To feel what it felt like to be weak, drained, used up, spent.

To make everyone who was so selfish to abuse his kindness suffer.

And never hurt anyone ever again.

Was your departure the catalyst for Seonghwa's shift? No. But it definitely didn't help.

You were standing beside your chief as you looked at the mutilated body of a young man. You were silent and pale as you tried to keep your food in your stomach.

But a breeze pushed the smell of rot into your nose, and it all came up before you could stop it.

"Go sit down, rookie," your chief gruffly said to you, to which you agreed with a nod, trying to wipe your mouth and prevent a second wave from rising up.

You stumbled away from the scene and spit up the rest of the disgusting mixture of bile and breakfast. Months of training don't prepare you for how to not lose your stomach at the sight of gore and the smell of decomposition.

"You'll get used to it," one of the detectives said as you spit into the street. The taste made your stomach churn all over again. You looked at him, and he offered a sympathetic half smile. "If it makes you feel any better, I threw up my first time too."

You nodded and leaned against the building, then slid down onto the ground, hugging your legs.

You'd insisted you could handle this, and it turns out, you can't. You'd left your life, your home, your boyfriend, for this. Because you believed you could do this, and wanted to be useful.

You were starting to see it less and less as the days went on, especially with this.

Your chief came over and made you stand back up, despite still feeling sensitive and nauseous. You tried to focus on what he was telling you, and putting the pieces to the scene and making sense of the details, but it was all foggy.

Until he mentioned something that made you perk up.

"A witness said they heard the name 'Seonghwa,' but it's not the victim's name. There's a high possibility that's our suspect."

Seonghwa?!

Your sweet, loving, charitable, selfless, goofy boyfriend? The boyfriend who cleaned so intensely, you could see your reflection in any surface? The boyfriend who'd cuddle you every night and make sure you fell asleep comfortably?

Seonghwa couldn't have been the one to murder and mutilate a man.

Much less someone you thought he considered a friend.

It couldn't be him.

It couldn't be...

Five unsolved murders later, you were losing your mind.

Five, FIVE, in one MONTH. And they were all tied to Seonghwa. They were all killed the same way, torn apart the same way, left in a mess the same way.

How could this be the same man you loved?! How could he have done this?! What had happened, why was he going after all of his friends?!

Your numerous calls to him hadn't worked, your desperate attempts to catch him hadn't worked either.

Honestly, you weren't sure if you wanted to find him in this state. If he was tearing apart his friends, would you be a victim too?

There was no discernable motive anyone could find, so it was a possibility that plagued your mind for the weeks he was out there.

You slept with your gun in your bedside table. It pained you to even think about hurting the man you loved.

But you had to protect yourself. You wouldn't turn into a number. A victim.

It turns out that keeping the gun beside you was a good move. But not because you were the target.

It was raining. No, storming. Thunder claps and lightening had kept you awake, alongside the paranoia and fear.

Amidst all that, you heard screaming outside your bedroom window. Living in the city, it wasn't anything new, but this was different. Running, then footsteps, then more screaming. A sound of someone being tackled. A struggle.

You shot up out of bed and grabbed your gun, hastily pulling on a mismatched outfit of clothes before you threw open your apartment window and looked into the alleyway below.

Just as you'd feared, it was him. Seonghwa, your love, your world, had someone pinned to the ground underneath him. You recognized him, he was another one of Seonghwa's friends. He already had blood on his face from an injury you couldn't see.

Your heart was pounding so hard, it could've exploded. You climbed out of your window and onto the fire escape before you screamed:

"SEONGHWA, STOP!"

To your surprise, he did. He stopped and whipped his head around, looking up at you. And despite the position he was in, he smiled so big when he saw you.

"Love! I mis-"

"PARK SEONGHWA, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" You screamed again, starting to run as carefully as you could down the slippery fire escape. His face and heart dropped, but he couldn't be surprised.

As you made your way down to the ground, his would be victim had escaped. And as he ran off, you saw the Seonghwa that had been doing all this.

Dead, dark eyes stared him down as he left. He had a blade in his hand, his shaking hands. His was face twisted into an anger you'd never seen. Not anger, rage. It scared you, it terrified you.

How could this be the man you'd left behind all those months ago?

Seonghwa looked at you, and the monster of rage disappeared. His eyes were bright, his face was soft. He put the blade away as he properly turned to you.

But neither of you said anything. You had too many words to say to him. He had no way to explain himself.

More than anything, you wanted to hug him. You wanted to tell him you still loved him, you missed him, you wanted to go home with him. But now you knew their was this angry, evil dark side of him.

You didn't know if you felt safe with him.

So you asked the one question that'd been in your mind since this started:

"Why?"

And Seonghwa opened his mouth to answer you, but nothing came out. He started thinking, then closed his mouth.

A few seconds later, he burst into sobs and dropped to his knees, covering his face with his hands.

What had he done? What had he become? He wasn't anything like he wanted to be. A murderer. Vengeful.

Selfish.

His selflessness wasn't appreciated by this world, by the people in it. He'd hated it, hated those who took him and used him, who made the world seem so much darker and crueler than he'd ever seen.

And what did he do? He made it worse. He took lives. Hurt people. Hurt himself.

It was true. Revenge is a fruitless, endless road that will bring you nothing but emptiness.

You knelt in front of him and pulled Seonghwa's hands away from his face. He stared at the ground, still sobbing.

"I was tired," he finally rasped out.

"Tired?" You said, exasperated. You felt anger start to bubble up inside you. "All this because you were tired? All this murder and-"

"I was tired of being used!" Seonghwa sobbed, gripping onto his own jacket.

The rain was coming down harder now. Buckets of water were pouring over the both of you, your clothes completely soaked through.

"I did so much SO MUCH, and I never got anything! No one told me if they appreciated me, if they loved me, if they even liked me!"

Seonghwa was shaking now, his words coming out as broken gasps and sobs.

"I gave so much love! So much love to selfish people who wasted it! Just once, I wanted someone to tell me I was good, that I was okay, to prove the world wasn't such an awful, cruel, disgusting-"

You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him tighter than you'd ever hugged him. Seonghwa didn't skip a beat, he hugged you back and cried into your neck.

The love he'd been begging for was here. The touch he'd been craving. And oh, it felt better than he could've ever imagined.

"You are good, Seonghwa," you whispered. "You are good, you are kind, you are loving." You choked back your own tears as you spoke.

You hated the world for what it had turned your boyfriend into. Your sweet and selfless boyfriend had become a monster.

And it could've all been prevented from a hug. A simple recognition that he was loved. Wanted. Needed.

"I love you, Seonghwa," you whispered.

He hugged you tighter and bawled like a baby.

The world cried with you both. Buckets of rain, drenching you both, thunder shaking the buildings and lightening showing flashes of the sun in the night.

It could've been hours that you were in each other's arms, on the ground in the alley. It could've been days. Time wasn't important.

But you both knew you had to run. You abandoned your training for him. You saw what he'd become without you.

As you stepped back into Seonghwa's house, he hugged you tight again, from the back, nuzzling into your rain soaked skin.

"Thank you," he whimpered. "Thank you...for taking care of me."

You turned around in his arms and held his face with both your hands. Seonghwa's eyes were as you remembered them. Big, round, soft, gentle. They held the moon and stars in them.

You wiped the tears and rain off his cheeks. "Anything for you, Mommy."

Oof, that was a lot. I felt a lot of myself in that, I've been feeling underappreciated lately too.

I hope this wasn't too far off from what you wanted, @peppermintlattelover, I tried to stay in-line with the prompt as best I could. The more I wrote, the more I liked where it was going, but I hope you like it too.

With that being said, thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

#ateez #seonghwa #ateez ff #seonghwa ff #angst #fluff #ateez fanfic #seonghwa fanfic

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