i sat down to work on an assignment and ended up learning how to play chess

missionary where your hands are cuffed above you, and your lover is leaning over you with a possessive hand holding your jaw, their thrusts slow. every time he pulls out he watches your face curiously, and every time he pushes back in he smiles as it pulls a cry out of you. they've got a feral look in their eye as they ask you, "yeah? right there, baby? that feel good kitten?" and you just have to gasp and whimper and take it and

last one i promise(<—lie)

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Shadows and light ~

Vox won the hottest Hazbin Hotel character poll on twitter against Lucifer in the final round and I can't stop thinking about it I love my pathetic TV Girl he deserves it

I FEEL LIKE THERE IS A WEIGHT ON MY CHEST. I AM AFRAID. I AM SWEATING. WHY AM I SCARED?

Danny: *just chilling on the couch while being very still™️ at the Wayne Manor*

Clark: *comes to visit*

Clark: hey Bruce?

Bruce: yes?

Clark: why is there a dead child in your living room?

Bruce: what 0-0

Danny: oh shit

Danny: *starts up heartbeat* better?

Clark: *even more freaked out*

I want to sleep but...

sheets and pillow cases in dryer

have to remain awake so when mom is ready I can go with her to buy clothes and other stuff

anxiety won't let me sleep yet

Took a break from the requests to draw Harrow with piercings. I came across this amazing setup on the piercing subreddit and fell in love with the small nose chain <3

Initially it was supposed to be a small doodle but then I couldn't stop and now it's.. two colored pieces...

I'm still kinda figuring out how to draw her but slowly getting there.

mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing

Birthday boy 🎂

wait if he was a first year here and vil said he bulked up/grew bigger during the latest beanfest then...then what is this. is this not bulky enough what h..how big did he grow now that he's a third year..h-he grew bigger???? h-he gained more muscle now that he's older??? a-and he's still working out???? w-what do you mean wha..what i..i like...like he GREW BIGGER????????

BIGGER!??!??!??!?!!?!!??

You know it's really hard to follow a movie's plot when you can't recognize the main actor's faces

day twoe ah haha

makes a to do list. gets too stressed to start on it before it’s waaaaay to late (ohno!!)