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ambrosiagoldfish · 3 months

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Can you write more Adam fics plz there so freaking good

Benefit of the Doubt PT.2

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff to Angst to comfort, General Adam TW’s, Reader lowkey-highkey has a complex about being loved, Panic attack (I’m not even sure if this is correct term or not), Adam is afraid of heights (makes sense in story) This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader (Y/n is once again not used lol)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Request Box: Open

Word count: 3136

A/N: Hi! I’d like to Thank you all for the love and support on Part 1! It means a lot that you all enjoyed it as I loved writing it! I’d also like to apologize for this being a week late, I honestly had 0 idea on how to start this one and then a bunch of stuff in my life happened, so it was a mess.

So as an apology I tried to make this one longer than the first! (I seemed to go a little overboard but it’s fine)

Anyways I hope you all enjoy part 2 to ‘Benefit of the doubt’ and as always, if you do, please tell me if want another part in replies/requests/DM’s!

Proofread but of course could have missed something

Tags: @tired-of-life-86

To think love could feel this good.

You were made for it, to give it, receive it… You’ve waited your entire existence for this love, This closeness. It doesn’t even feel real now, even as you’re walking down the golden lined streets of heaven with his arm wrapped around you, all while you’ve been showing him around. The best places to eat, entertainment, or just a nice park. You made sure to show him all of it.

He kept his wings tucked to his sides, the gold contrasting with the white of his robe. The feathers at first glance looked sharp, but now, being so close to him, you could see each of them individually and how soft they must be.

“Hey Sweetcheeks, my eyes are up here”

You jump slightly “Sorry… Adam.” You avert your eyes away from him and focus them in front of you.

Adam laughed “I didn’t say you had to fuxkin’ to stop”

His wings truly were beautiful. It was hard to keep your eyes off them. Adam had only got to heaven recently, it made you wonder if he had the chance to use them yet. You remember when you were first created, wings took forever to get used to. You crashed and fell so many times before you figured out how to use them

Properly.

“Ok seriously, you keep staring, what the fxck is up with you?”

“It’s nothing, just…. Have you tried out your wings yet?”

“Uh, yeah totally, they’re rad as hell” Adam’s voice drifted off, the LED eyes of his mask looking away from you as you both walked. Was he… lying? Why would he lie?

You quickly walked in front of Adam, leaving his warm embrace, gently you took his hands as your wings picked you off the ground. The gust of wind with each flap softly blew around you.

“Well, come on, it will be faster than walking.” Your voice was soft and airy. Slowly, so very slowly, you lifted yourself higher from the ground, Adam’s hands locked firmly in yours, as he was pulled with you in the air.

“W-Wait a- shit- Wait a- motherfuxking second“ Adam yelled strand after strand of curses as you both lifted further and further into the air. His body flailed and his legs kicked against nothing. You pull him to you, his arms quickly snake around your waist, holding on for his dear After-life.

“Adam… did you lie to me?” Your voice was still so soft, so calm, so sweet.

“Fuck- yes I lied, I’m sorry, so put me the fuck down you crazy asshole-“ Vulgar as ever, his voice had fear in it, the LED eyes were forced shut and his grip around you was getting tighter and tighter.

Your arms wrapped around Adam’s head as you laid back, letting The wind breeze from the air pull and push you along its path with your wings soaring through the clouds..

“Adam, it’s ok, I promise you’re fine, all you have to do is open your eyes.”

You pet the back of his neck trying to sooth him which seemed to work after a few seconds. Adam didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to open his eyes. But the longer he kept them close, the more you would whisper soft words of encouragement to him. Eventually, his eyes slowly but surely opened.

“See? There is nothing to be scared of. I’ve got you.”

You hold him closer in your embrace. Adam looked below, the white vastness of heaven’s clouds beneath you both felt unreal, but as amazing a sight it was, Adam’s grip on you didn’t loosen.

“So… I’m guessing you don’t know how to fly yet?” You laugh a little, rubbing a spot on his back, just between his wings comfortingly.

Adam huffed and looked away “oh! I couldn’t fxcking see that!”

You held him close to you. The embrace seemed never ending, and you loved every second of it. Feeling the warmth of his plump body next to you was like a dream come true.

“Here let me just…”

You moved your hands slowly down his arms, caressing the soft flesh as they moved to eventually be at his hands behind you. You began to leisurely undo the grip he had around you.

“What do you think you're doing-“

“Shhh, relax, just trust me, ok?”

With each finger being removed from you, the grip lessened bit by bit, until eventually his hands were fully in yours. Your face leaned closer to his,

“Come on, just give your wings a good flap, trust me.”

“Ugh…. Fine but I swear to god if you let go-“

“I won’t.” Your voice was firm, yet still remained reassuring.

Adam didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t want to. But what other choice did he have? He gruffs and extends his wings from his body. The wind brushed and tickled at his feathers. The way the light hit them caused a glare of gold to be cast from them, enveloping you both. Then, he gave two hard flaps of his wings, he lifted up slightly before quickly falling back to where he was.

“There you go! Now keep doing that.”

Adam continued, his wings slowly pushing him up and up before being sent back down when he stopped. This repeated for a few minutes until he finally got a grip on it. The entire time, you were laughing. Pure unadulterated laughs of joy.

Truly, to think love could feel this good?

“See? You're a natural!”

“Of course I am! I’m the Original Dick, obviously I’d… be good at this… flying… shit.” With all the parading he was doing he kept forgetting to use his wings causing him to fall. ‘A natural’ may have been an overstatement on your part, but hey? At least he hasn’t fallen flat on his face yet!

Gently, you led him through air, giving him reassurance every few feet you flew, never letting go. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. Before you knew it a brisk orange sunset encased you both with its hue. That’s when you realized just how long you both had been flying.

“You must be tired with sightseeing all day… I think it’s time we go home and rest, yeah?”

“Home?” Adam’s voice sounded for a moment genuinely confused. Had he not been told he’d have a place to live in heaven? As much respect you had for Sera, you’ll have to file a complaint to avoid this with future souls.

You gripped his hand and opened your wings letting the wind lead you through the clouds and above the city. The angels below look like ants at the height you both were. It was peaceful, the flight back home. But it did seem… off? So… quiet? You couldn’t put it together, at least not at the moment, But Adam hadn’t spoken a word since you both left.

Adam, while yes, he was initially confused, it made sense to him, why wouldn’t heaven have a place for its people, a place for each of them to relax, to feel safe, happy, at home.

Home was such a weird word for Adam. Has he ever felt like a place was his ‘home’? The closest thing to it was the Garden of Eden but even that proved to be anything but a home for him. Ever since that snake entered his garden.

No. He can’t think about that now. He doesn’t want to have to think about that again. But oh-do thoughts love to worm their way back into your mind when you least want them to. He’s snaps out of his thoughts when your voice picks up

“Ok, we’re here! Just get yourself settled in and I’ll go make us something to eat. I didn't really know what food you’d like so I mainly just have junk food… I hope that's ok.”

Adam nods his head nonchalantly

You smile, waking him over to the small, plush couch in the living room and handing him a blanket and some pillows. Telling him to wait a second as you fetch some food, leaving him alone.

Adam thought your house seemed welcoming enough, ‘well… our house’ Adam thought. The living room was dark aside from a few luminous lights around the room as well as the small blue gleam from the windows from the night sky.

The couch was comfortable and the pillows just as much. And the blanket you gave him was soft and warm. This really was heaven, huh?

His thoughts are, once again, interrupted by your voice, “Ok here we go, I’ve got snacks and some soda” you say, handing him some of the many food you ravaged from your fridge and sitting beside him, wrapping yourself in the shared blanket.

Grabbing the remote lying next to you, you flick on the TV flipping through the channel before ending on a cheesy sitcom, you keep the volume low wanting to enjoy any conversation with Adam. Except… he never started one. So that’s what felt off.

The entire time you flew back home, got snacks and found something to watch. He hadn't said a word. You may not have known him long but even you had already picked up that he was an advid talker in a conversation.

“Is… everything ok Adam?” You whispered, not want to scare him with your random words.

“What kind of question is that, I’m fxcking fine… I’m fine.” His voice trailed off at the end almost getting as quiet as yours.

“Are you sure cause-“

“I said I’m fuxking fine!” His voice roared through the dark room. Gritty and callous, but you could tell it was meant to hide something. Something he didn’t want you to see.

“I’m sorry…” you paused. What did you want to say from here? What could you say? You took a deep breath and tried to continue. “I… I know I said this earlier… when Sera left.”

Adam’s LED mask looked away from you half shut eyes and a frown forming a scowl on it, but still he let you continue.

“But I’m going to say it again anyways cause… I mean it. I’m really happy to have you here. To finally have you home” you place your arm around Adam’s back rubbing it soothingly as let your head slowly lax onto him, gently cuddling close to him.

That word again… home. That’s all he could think about ever since he first heard you say it. Why? Why couldn’t he get it out of his head? His breathing was becoming unsteady with each new thought and image his brain made. Lilith and Eve, they were made to be apart of his home, for him to be apart of their homes. So why? Why did it end that way?

Suddenly Adam leap from the couch as fast as he could, the shear force knocking you to the other side of the couch, sending the food to scatter and drinks to spill to the floor.

“Adam!?” Your voice was frightened at the sudden movement. Adam looked just as frightened as you, at least from what you could tell through the LED mask. He suddenly began running, where? he didn’t know, the rooms in the house looked the same. But all he knew is that he needed to be away from you. You followed quickly behind him and pleaded for him to tell you what was wrong, but eventually he ran into a room and locked the door.

He looked around, already out of breath. He was in a bathroom. He felt his knees give out under him as he tried to slowly sit down by the tub. His breath heavy, it was hard to breathe, this stupid mask. He needed it off. But just as he went to do so,

*rattle rattle rattle*

The doorknob began to move followed by frantic knocking on the door.

“Adam! Are you ok?!” Your voice pleaded through the wood of the door.

“Fuxk- I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that shit” his voice cracked a few times followed by a strand of curses leaving his lips.

Home. The word repeated like a mantra in his head. Like it was mocking him. Was he not meant to have a place he called a home? To have someone to return to, who would tell him “welcome back!” Without even being told to?

Lilith hated him, Eve betrayed and hurt him like no one else before, ever. They were made to be with him, one was literally made to be his other half. The garden, his home, was taken from him because of something, someone he couldn’t control. it all comes back to him. That albino snake in the grass.

Lucifer, ‘The dreamer’… was this some sort of game to him? To toy with his emotions, treat him like some kind of plaything to mess with, to screw over? What kind of life was it? To have every opportunity and opening be broken down by him, And Adam being powerless to stop it?

“Adam! Please open the door!” Your voice was even more frantic now, knocking every few seconds before it quickly quieted down. Your body slumped against the door.

“Adam… I’m sorry if I hurt you or… or if I was going too fast… I didn't mean to… I’m so sorry…” your breath hitched with tears.

And then there was you.

You have been nothing but kind to him since you met him. You showed him around heaven, taught him how to fly and welcomed him home without having being told to. You were so different. So, so very different. Adam figure that out a while ago now. But in reality, it’s exactly why he was terrified.

To have someone who loves him so... unconditionally.

*click*

The sound of the door unlocking drew your attention and was followed by it slowly opening from Adam on the other side, still on the floor.

“Adam!” Your voice was low, already tired from crying. You crawled your way toward him before stopping in front of him, tears still falling from your face, “I’m sorry Adam, I’m sorry-“ you were cut off by a quick movement.

Warmth enveloped you, clouding your senses as a soft weight laid onto you. Arms wrapped their way around you in an embrace.

“Shit- it's not your fault, it was never your fault…” Adam’s voice was surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his regular tone. Sincerity evident with each word. All you could do was hide into his large frame and cry at the words.

Adam was never good at comforting people. He himself was never comforted, so the concept was more than a bit foreign to him. But even still, he tried. Slowly he helped you both up from the bathroom floor and made your way back to the couch.

The floor was covered in the discarded food you both left behind. The spilled soda is now dried and sticky. Crumbs everywhere.

“Here.. let me get a mop and broom-“

“No just sit down, I’ll clean up the shit I made” you lay down on the couch and watched as Adam swept and mopped the mess from the floor. The entire time the silence hung in the air by a thread. Neither of you wanting to be the one to snap the string and speak.

Finally Adam got done cleaning the mess and made his way to the couch. He sat down and gestured for you to come closer. Crawling over to him, he wrapped the blanket around you both allowing you to snuggle into him.

“Do…” your voice barely audible “Do you want to talk about it?”

Adam looked hesitant but nodded.

“You know about everything, right? About… what all happened in Eden?

You nod against his chest content on listening.

“When… When Lilith left me, I thought I didn't care as much as I did. I thought she was a bitch and that was that. And it didn’t help that as soon as she left, I got Eve…”

He paused

“Then, when I found out about that shit between Eve and Lucifer… I didn’t care then either, but I didn’t understand why…” his voice hitched “but when I ate that damn apple… I realized how hurt I should have been. All the concepts of right and wrong, good and evil, learning all of it through that fruit, I realized one shitty truth… that the one I loved betrayed me.”

You hugged him tighter softly, your hands caressed his stomach as some form of comfort before he continued.

“For the same person- Both of them for that snake…”

“Adam… I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“And that’s why… I’m scared. Scared that I will fuxk up again and get… attached to you. Because every. single. time. He ruins it. And I don't want to see that happen with you.”

Your heart ached for him, the saddening look of his LED mask as he talked only furthered your emotions. Slowly your hands made their way to his face, he looks at you confused, your fingertips crept under the mask before his hand shot up and held your wrist slightly, carefully not holding it too tight.

“Sorry fuck- I’m.. I’m not ready.”

You smile and nod understanding “Adam. I love you… with all of my heart. And I would never do what those two done to you. “

Adam thought for a moment deciding what to say.

“Promise?” was all he could think of, his voice, mind, and body were all too tired to speak more about it.

You slowly remove your hands from his mask, instead taking one of his hands into yours.

“I promise, I would never betray you, let alone talk to that man” ever-so lightly, a soft golden glow burned between yours and Adam’s hands, the gold flame was warm and comforting to both of you as it rose and grew in strength.

From the flame, a string wrapped and warped itself around both yours and Adam’s pinky fingers. The string tightened and loosened as it moved, before finally melting away leaving only two solid gold rings behind, One on Adam’s finger and the other on yours.

“What the hell was that?” Adam’s voice was filled with bewilderment

“A deal- or I guess a promise. In this case”

“Shit, You didn’t have to do that-“ this time it was your turn to interrupt him. You bring Adam’s hand to your lips, and give a kiss on his newly formed ring before lying down and cuddling into Adam.

“I know.”

For once in his life, Adam felt at ease with love. How easy it was to fall for you.

Is this what home feels like?

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kremlin · 9 months

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"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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dailyhatsune · 2 months

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hi! not exactly a request but i do wanna ask, whats your process when you're rendering more paint like art? (if that makes sense, English isnt my first language so apologies hdskhsjdbd) i really love how you use the colors and im curious how you do it :0

i’ve been meaning to answer this one for a while so here’s how i painted miku in today’s post (put under the read more because yeah prepare for a long post

i’d also like to preface this by saying that i never follow a set way of doing things, so in terms of what my personal process is like, these are only broad strokes of what i do! sometimes i’ll combine or skip parts entirely, depending on how i feel. also, this is not a tutorial, just how i do things, so please don’t treat it like one :’D this will read like the ‘how to draw an owl’ picture if you do

first, like every artist, i sketch. more specifically, i’m getting an idea of what i want to paint later on. this could be how a scene is set up or in this case, how a character is posed. here i’m not concerned about details or getting everything perfectly, i’m only planning how the thing will be composed. maybe a lot of canvas size changing, or adjusting what miku’s doing (note how busted miku’s right hand looks from all the transforming!) however, i still have to be concerned with how clear the sketch will be to future me, because the sketch won’t be any good if i can’t read what miku’s doing

after that, i lay down a flat gray under the sketch, mainly focusing on giving miku a clear silhouette. this is also a good time to make adjustments to the composition on the fly if i suddenly feel like something can be improved upon, like shortening miku’s left arm from the sketch!

after painting a flat silhouette, i start shading in grayscale, focusing only on lighting. i usually do it in two passes, one for the lightest and darkest tones i’ll use (not black and white) and then a second for midtones to blend them better with the base gray but i forgot to screenshot the result of the first pass 🗿 nevertheless, here is where i can start adding some amount of details. i’m not including any extra accessories yet, just focusing on the base design of the outfit and the character herself (for anyone wanting to draw characters from That Gacha Game, this is how i personally make the process more bearable for myself.) i still use the dark gray to separate where certain details (like the facial features and fingers) begin and end, mainly to make colouring more bearable later.

now here’s where i get the Good Colours. it’s a cheat lol. i put a gradient map layer over the grayscale painting so that there’s a little bit of color to start. some gradient maps can be applied as is, some need the layer settings adjusted to make it look good. this one, for example, is a (free) gradient map set from the csp assets store that needs you to set the layer opacity to 20% and to set the blending mode to color to achieve this result. in general, i tend to pick which gradient map i want to use based on vibes, or basically whether i want the work to be warmer or cooler, colour-wise. but this does do quite a bit of lifting for the colors in my stuff.

and then, finally, i add the colours. i add flat base colours in an overlay layer. at this stage, i’ve made the character silhouette clear enough that i don’t need to refer to the sketch anymore for what miku looks like. also, the gradient map layer does its magic by making the shading a bit more vibrant than it would’ve been without it. after that i paint over with a new layer to add details like the lace.

and then i put some extra shading on top. basically this is where the ‘better lighting’ happens. again, this isn’t a tutorial, so i’m not here to say what each part of the lighting is, but i’ve labeled which layers do which job. in other works where the lighting within a scene is more defined (from a window, from a small crack in the walls, etc) the glow dodge layer may be more opaque and sharper, but since this isn’t a work with that, the lighting was applied using an airbrush. the linear burn layer is also there to make the whole thing darker so the glow dodge doesn’t end up oversaturating miku. i also usually match the lights to the vibe i want, and use a complementary color for the shadows. so here you can see i have warm colors on the glow dodge layer, but light purple on both the linear burn and multiply layer.

and that’s it for the character—here’s a gif showing how each layer adds to miku! (sorry it’s so toasty)

as for the background, depending on the complexity, it may go through a similar process, or if i can settle with flat image backgrounds, i just go for that. it’s ok to use external image materials. i didn’t have a background in mind for this miku in specific, so i got some default csp materials and threw together something

and that’s about a rough overview of what my process for more finished works looks like! again, art is a fluid process so i never specifically stick to certain steps all the time, and you shouldn’t either. i can probably answer why i’d pick this colour over another in one particular work, but it’s something that kinda has to be learned on a grander scale. i think everyone can already feel what colors work with what atmosphere or what setting, even if they can’t immediately explain why. colors and composition do take some level of experimentation to find what works best!

#hatsune miku #vocaloid #piapro studio #doodle #ask #partypoizzon

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unbidden-yidden · 1 year

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There's this dynamic I've seen replicated across numerous different identities, where people from the same identity group who have suffered greatly over that identity end up in conflict with those who have suffered less and also talk freely about the joy that identity has given them.

The people who have suffered a lot tend to find the joy expressed by the latter group extremely grating at best and offensive at worst. This often then leads to identity policing and the creation of artificial barriers that are unsupported by reality. If you have not suffered THIS much, then you aren't really [X]. Or, perhaps, the latter group is told that while they might technically be [X], they need to stop talking and 'prioritize' (aka stop talking, but nicer) the former group. This is also often categorized as 'privilege,' which actually makes 0 sense.

Meanwhile, the latter group frequently has complete failures of empathy or perspective, and often do not make space for the former group to talk about how [X] identity has hurt them, how they have suffered due to it, and how they don't necessarily emphasize it or particularly want to 'find joy' in it. There is often a complete lack of recognition of trauma the former group has experienced, and this lack of recognition can be especially painful coming from people who are ostensibly in the same group.

We have GOT to start acknowledging that both experiences are legitimate and finding ways to talk about our various experiences without hurting each other.

Some suggestions I might make are:

If you're in the former category, please try to access therapy or support groups to address your (completely legitimate) trauma. As someone who has *been* that person, life is so much better when you are happy for people finding joy, even in something that hurt you, rather than, what, exactly? Wishing they experienced the same pain? If it was really that bad, why would you wish that on anyone? Especially someone like you?

Stop categorizing intra-group dynamics as privilege, as if that marginalized identity could be a privilege. Instead, consider using other terms to discuss the spectrum of experience that don't erase other people's trauma.

Stop denying the trauma of others. Try to get some perspective on things, and look at the facts objectively. This is what is intended by the original "prioritize [X] with [Y] experience" framing, even if it has been twisted in shitty ways. Bad discourse doesn't change what happened.

And as someone who has also been in the latter group - look. There's a time and a place. For example, I love being Jewish. My life has gotten way better since becoming Jewish, even in spite of everything else that's going on. But Yom HaShoah isn't the day for me to express that. That would be tactless, tasteless, and insensitive. That's instead a great day for me to be quiet and supportive of Jews who lost family. There are plenty of other days for me celebrate my love of Judaism and for the Jewish people (like Shavuot!)

Anyway, nuance is good, infighting is bad, and valuing and respecting people's varied experiences can only help us. Exclusion and disrespect only hurts us and helps the people who want us silenced, hidden, erased, bullied into conformity and/or killed.

#'is this about --"#most likely yes #I have seen this in all of my major identities and watched similar discourse float by in other identities

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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months

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What do you think, what traits or something else are tadc cast looking for in a partner?

TADC cast and what they want in a partner!

Obviously, since this is likely taking place in the digital world, i probably wont do much in terms of physical real world looks!

I'll probably do a small segment for them, before they got stuck in the real world but thats a maybe :0 I write these little notes before I write the request! So!! Wild card!!!

CAINE:

Ooo okay so caine is interesting because like. He has never had feelings before, so he doesn't exactly know what he wants!

He wants a confident and bold partner! Wait no... but shy and sweet ones are nice... oh ho ho he wants a partner who's tall, to hold him!.. but.. short partners are nice for cuddling... he wants a partner who takes the lead, sometimes its nice to let someone take charge! But... caine is programmed to be in charge...

Hmm...

I think it's safe to say that Caine may not have a specific type, the fact that his S/O was able to win him over is enough and hes going to love em til the day his code breaks down

..does code break down? Admittedly the admin is DUMB when it comes to tech stuff....

POMNI:

Okok it's no secret that pomni is hard for me to write... and this request is no exception

With that being said, I think pomni would be interested in our favorite

The goth gf/j

Well I say that jokingly, but I think pomni would be into tall strong alt people who just radiate cool energy

I can also see her being into dorks too, oddly enough.. maybe it's because I don't see pomni as being especially.. "out there", even before the circus.. could be attraction via being able to relate

RAGATHA:

Hands down ragatha wants a soft and sweet partner who can take care of her. Ragatha spends so much of her time trying to keep everyone optimistic and hopeful, that sometimes she needs someone to do the same for her, you know? That doesnt mean she isnt going to return the favor.. no no it's in her nature to be optimistic, but it would be nice to be taken care of once in a while..!

JAX:

Jax wants someone who can shrug off jokes.... now is this mostly because hes an asshole who is going to not spare you from his pranks? Maybe! Even better if you also like doing some practical joking here and there

However, as I write more and more jax stuff... I can't help but form what his type may be, or finding a personality that compliments his well. Dont get me wrong I love the idea of jax having a trickster partner; however I also love the idea of jax with a partner who doesnt take no bullshit! Love that, so much. Jax with a partner who can turn his prank back on him and keep him in line

KINGER:

His wife/j

No but kinger gravitates towards people who are very compassionate and patient... but also a little fierce! Naturally, since kinger is so... you know, I think he needs someone who can tell him what to do, and can be able to reel him back down when he gets too stuck in his head.. or too out of his head, even

ZOOBLE:

Zooble wants someone who's not too high energy... which makes sense, since zooble themselves is very over it and low energy. Perhaps they also would want someone who isnt too pushy, or "in your face".. its easier for zooble to list what they dont want rather than what they do want..

Perhaps they could do well with a tall goth gf/j.....

..../hj

I think before they entered the digital circus, they liked taller people. Cant tell you why, I just think they like taller people!

GANGLE:

Said this several times but gangle used to play monster dating sims or something before they got stuck in the circus. So her taste in people is a little... all over the place....

Dating sims aside, I think gangle wants someone who can step up and protect her. Physically and emotionally. Its no secret that gangle is sensitive...

Also I think she likes strong people

Quick someone draw this as gangle and reader

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #Caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

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svndaysaweek · 1 year

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Aftermath — {Feat. Kazuha}

1.8k words

A/N: After math is science. Hope y'all like this one too,, Also thanks to everyone for 200 followers and big big support on e^(iπ)+1=0!! I hope I've improved a little. Inclined words are scientific terms so google it if look unfamiliar!!(Certainly will help you understand this)

Tag: Science (?), Loving sex, creampie

******

The ride's finally over. Even before you turn the car off she eagerly hops off. Kazuha opens the door for you.

"Zuha–Owff!"

Now she hops on your arms.

You are suddenly burdened with her body, but not the weight. As if she is violating the law of universal gravitation. Although you weigh her much more than the Earth you two are stepping on—in fact Kazuha isn't—this time Earth just lets her go.

"Carry me inside,"

That famous position—arms around your neck, both legs on your arms, face right in front of yours—and that cliché progress, which is to carry the girl inside and then make love. You follow just that, but with a kiss it's clicheic no more.

You were wrong then, to allege that Kazuha violates the law of universal gravity. You are now pulled into an absorbing kiss, like the light and a black hole, like an apple and the Earth. A kiss that does nothing less than force your eyes shut.

Almost blindly you open the main door to enter her house.

"Which one?"

You detach from the kiss and gaspingly ask her.

"First,"

Inertia—Newton's first law. There's no turning back from here. Even if there's extrinsic force it's from Kazuha, and it only adds positive acceleration to you.

You open the first door you see as told, carry Kazuha to the bed and toss her onto it. Accelerated, you hastily take your shirt off. Kazuha successfully gets rid of your pants and boxers while you take your bare torso out.

A supernova itself—a breathtaking explosion to leave the core only. Kazuha takes her own clothes off, to leave the cruelty of her body only. As she brings her hands behind her back to unclasp her bra, you stop it.

"Let me,"

Chest unlocked.

Without anything to hinder the observation, you now get an immaculate visual on the pulsar. Heat beaming in tandem with her heartbeat is the clue notifying you of her anticipation.

Then the formation of a black hole—your hands are driven wildly toward those breasts. This close to her beautiful mounds, time doesn't make sense. You touch eternity, immortality, permanency, to tip yourself over the event horizon, into oblivion.

Her hot breath steams your face up, and you feel the ultimate need to devour her tits. The inclination to Kazuha's breasts is far above scientific explanation.

It's a lunar globe, you would say, faced with how her spit-glistening tits reflect the dim moonlight. Not so big, not too small. One in your mouth, another grabbed firmly by your hand. You thoroughly clean them both by dirtying them with your saliva, which is flooding with your instinctive intention full of filth.

"Baby, I need you down here."

Kazuha takes your hand softly down to her hot crotch. Her both pairs of lips have their energy right on you. You kneel on the floor to find her gushing core. Kazuha eyes you approval with her lower lip tucked in by her teeth.

Newton's third law—action and reaction. Your tongue presses on her third nub to draw such a raw response. An agonizingly addictive taste blesses your nerves, as Kazuha makes a wild reaction to the electric action you take. She pulls you in and she is definitely being pulled in, too.

Even the slightest actions of your tongue make her reactions go crazy. Her squirming even almost feels like struggle not to reach the wanted high—or the opposite.

"Fuck, baby just like that…It's so good,"

Like the Moon orbiting around the Earth. Like the Earth rotating around the Sun. Your tongue draws an imperfect circle around the very centre of her system. Not too far, not too close—you've found the Goldilocks Zone on her clit.

And as you remember, Goldilocks Zone is where liquid water can exist–

"Haa, I-I'm cumming…!"

Kazuha herself proves it, as she proudly waters your face with her cum. Ironically it tastes fatal. You lap up the remnant of her godly liquid, readying to truly fuck her.

You detach your mouth from her pussy and raise your hand to wipe your mouth but, no.

"Give me a taste,"

She holds your arm from going further and calls you in for a kiss, a wet one. Kazuha needily licks over your mouth with a long, low, satisfied moan, which turns you on too much to let her continue.

So you challenge her.

"Mmm…"

During the kiss you bring your dick to her waiting pussy and rub it on her entrance, collecting the wetness needed. Kazuha's arms slowly lock behind your neck, simultaneously with her legs around your hips.

She bites your lower lip, pleading you to push inside her.

"Mmm–!"

As you smoothly push in your cock, her animalistic response hits back.

Kazuha's entire body is becoming an undeniable proof that Earth is round: Her tongue curls inside your mouth, around yours. Her back arcs upward to form a sexy curve you can't unsee. Just like what Magellan did, you could wrap your arms around her body.

There's only space for you to fill up, but you are pulling back—same reason why Mars retrograde occurs, how heliocentrism was invented. Nothing in the universe works straight, not even light. Things curl, get absorbed, go back, and those are the most basic, the most natural things to happen, even when written rules carry straightness only.

(Besides, to such a perfection of a body, who wouldn't dare to break the rules?)

You gradually up the pace of your pistoning, in the second time of asking—Newton's second law: F=ma. With your accelerated, massive cock making love inside Kazuha, she is forced to cum.

And you've experienced it so, so many times. Tachyon flies slower than you, as you travel back to every night you shared with Kazuha. You are fucking her until time runs backwards, not giving even the slightest bit of fuck to the theory of relativity—actually, you are giving all the fuck to Kazuha right now.

Oh, Be A Fine Girl, Kiss Me. Kazuha's lips always remind you of this phrase. You can't just let them stay idle. She already came once so the main sequence starts now. Like protons undergoing nuclear fission, you two in bed are tangled, synthesized, fused into one—into a totally new individual.

"Come on, baby. You need to cum, too."

Your body that once was over Kazuha's is now reversed and under hers, but again, you feel no weight at all. Like she is the light itself.

With almost no mass, she feels light—maybe that's why it was named that. That however, is not the only reason you compare Kazuha to the light.

The horny side of Kazuha, sexy, hot, wet and curvy. That's a wave. The lovely side of Kazuha, on the other hand, cozy, comfy, cheerful and straight. That's a particle, a photon. The duality you love, you adore. Whenever you notice the deviant changes in her eyes in bed it enlightens you, makes you wonder what her real nature is—that's what even Einstein wouldn't be able to discover, of course.

"God, Zuha… You–"

You bring your hands to her ass to start your thrusts, but then Kazuha stops you by pressing your arms down on the bed.

"Let me."

Hypnotized, you let your arms down in compliance with her direction. She then puts her hands on your heaving chest, readying herself to start riding you.

"I can feel your heart,"

You too. Your head is thumping loudly at your heartbeat, as if your brains are now working as another blood pump. And Kazuha raises its rate so easily.

"How does it feel?"

You ask, putting your hands softly on hers, on your chest.

"I don't know,"

The last thing you see is Kazuha's divine smile, before your eyes are forced shut by her sudden tightness descending to the base of your cock.

You feel her fingers dig into your chest as she gradually accelerates the speed of her ride.

"You, maybe."

You smile and look at her. What a cheesy girl, you think to yourself. And at the same time the lust-filled look on her face is so cute—opposed to what's going on down there.

"Baby…"

Kazuha breathes out her word then halts.

"Go ahead,"

You give her the knowing smile.

"I love you."

Yes. Love. Love is the only correct word to be spoken right now.

Because, as always, you feel how wonderful, how powerful it is. Within just a night you've witnessed so many examples of how easily love ignores laws of physics like they're nothing.

After saying that she never loses eye contact with you as she almost hazardously rides you out. Her tightness is fatal, fatal enough to vitalize your throbbing dick inside.

"I'm close, Zuha… Keep going,"

She knows you are. You try to sit up to kiss her but her arms sternly deny it.

Let me make you cum, her eyes tell you.

You can just stay there, let me serve you, her lips whisper.

Let me pay your love back, Kazuha's love speaks for itself.

You can even hear it, as your ears go numb. You see the ecstasy itself, as your eyes slam shut. You breathe loving words out, as you stop breathing.

"Zuha, I'm cumming…!"

You grab on her ass and begin to pour your seed into her.

"Go on, baby. You deserve it."

Kazuha doesn't stop grinding on you for a little more until you ease down completely. She then climbs down and lies beside you.

That is when you again admire her presence. Her black hair, dark enough to absorb any light except herself. Her blushed face and even redder lips perfecting the angelic façade of hers. Her perky breasts heaving up and down to indicate the intensity of the love between you two. Her toned, tight abs, wet crotch and both silky legs that are on yours.

How did I even end up next to this girl?

She deserves much more love than I can possibly give her.

"Zuha, I–"

Lack of strength out of the aftermath haze blocks you.

"Go ahead,"

This time she throws a knowing smile back to you.

You can only laugh at this moment. Kazuha being such a perfect partner, you can't help but say–

"I love you, Zuha."

Beside her is the best place on the planet, you could proudly announce.

You look at her in awe, and she turns her head to you with a grin.

"What, wanna go for another round?"

#kpop male reader #kpop x male reader #kpop smut #kazuha smut #le sserafim smut

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ephemii · 1 month

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okay let me ramble here because i need to be a nerd about scarabia for a minute-

as an egyptian, im naturally gonna be very biased (and excited) when seeing characters with arabian origins because a) it pulls out my scrutinizing side in seeing whether or not the creator of said character did their homework on the cultures and nuances and b) it makes it easier for me to relate to said character, making me love them even more!!

so i wanna talk about kalim and jamil for a quick second!!

Slight book 4 spoilers under the cut!!

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

here im actually gonna focus on their names! i love their names a whole lot, because,

🌺 while jamil [jah-meel] ((the "a" in Jah is pronounced like the "a" in cat)) is a pretty generic name when it comes to media diversity, it's still a very nice and "refreshing" name, as i call it. also, it's the masculine adjective of "pretty/handsome/nice" and.... they're not wrong lol

🌺 as for kalim al-asim, his name is actually quite interesting! firstly, kalim [kah-leem] ((same withe the "a" as jamil)) means "speaker/interlocutor" in the arabic hyperbolic verb-adjective system— as in, when someone does [verb] a lot or is described to be excessively/wholly [adjective]. (although that isn't to say the verb or adjective, in the sense of "excessive" is bad! i.e the person could be (excessively/wholly) a liar "kaddhaab" OR (excessively/wholly) generous "kareem") so I feel like that fits his character a whole lot, actually. very bubbly and sociable!

🌺 the second half of his name, al-asim, is also very interesting. in the game, there's a little bit of misinformation on what "al" in an arabic name would mean. in the game it's explained that "al" would mean "son of" or "of the family" which... isn't really true, actually. instead, when wanting to refer to someone as "son of" you would say "bin" or "ibn"— kalim bin asim. also, that is to say, it's kind of an old system of naming, but scarabia is inspired by the ye-olde vibes of arabia in aladdin, so it's fine lol

🌺 so then, the "al" in his name, in this sense, is actually something a lot simpler! "al" in arabic is like the prefix "the"! So for example, someone could be named mohamed al-sayyaad —> mohamed the sayyaad (meaning mohamed the fisherman!) in which case, it can be used as an overall family name, but it doesn't really mean "of the family sayyaad".

nowww, when seeing what the adjective "asim" means, it has me scratching my head a bit because his name could actually have three possible meanings! :0

🌺✨ asim as in [ah-seem] ((once again, same with the "a")): أسيم

when أسيم is broken down to its fundamental components, it gives several meanings, notably; "goes on to order something" (which fits very, very well)

OR: "directs his sight/gaze to..." (which... also fits.....given jamil's signature magic 👀)

it can also be interpreted as someone who has authority.

🌺✨ a second meaning for [ah-seem]/[qah-seem]:((قسيم)) in this case, the "a" in "qah" would be like the "a" in water. also, if you're wondering about the "q" I'm just writing it in the exact way it would be written and pronounced in proper arabic if it were to BE that word/meaning specifically, as i know in-game his name is written as "Asim"... but to clarify, in egyptian arabic it's not necessary to pronounce the "q" when it's at the beginning of a word or name, so we just pronounce it as "a".... again, I'm writing this in my perspective, an egyptian :)

which means, literally, "the share"... why i feel like this interpretation is especially significant, though, is because "the share" here, in arabic, would actually refer to someone's destiny or fortune!

in this case, that the destiny of kalim and jamil is master to his servant, respectively, vice versa.... in that, that was how their fortune played out; that was what destiny has written for them in terms of their relationship— something that jamil can do nothing about, the hopelessness of it leaving him to harbor resentment for his inability to change his own fate. which, as we saw in book 4.... 👀 (this one is just SO. GOOD. OOF.)

🌺✨ and lastly asim as in [aah-sim]/[qaah/sim] : قاسم

which, in the case of (قاسم) would mean distributor/divider literally, and more specifically, someone who gives, who is able to share. and given kalim's overly generous personality and tendencies, it's very much fitting!

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #jamil viper #kalim al asim #ツイスト #ツイステッドワンダーランド

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accio-victuuri · 26 days

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follow up clowning related to gg’s weibo post from here. a reminder first that i don’t think everything has to mean something and most of the time what they post is just plain and simple. we are clowns, so we will speculate but that doesn’t mean we have to find some candy for every content they post before we can enjoy & appreciate it. for example, we also think that the reason GG is doing these solar terms right now, while he is filming LoZ is in the synopsis of the drama, his character is the son of the “director of the Imperial Observatory of the Great Yong Kingdom” , that’s the english translation. but the key here in the original text is this word: 钦天监 [qīn tiān jiàn].

what is it? thank you to good old baidu for always having the answer:

Qin Tianjian is the signature of an official whose function is to observe celestial phenomena, calculate solar terms, and formulate calendars.

calculating solar terms. so that could be the connection he is hinting at that is somehow significant to the character he is playing. makes sense right?

this is not me washing anyone’s candy. i’m only laying out alternative explanations cause that’s how i do things. lol. the addition i have seen going around is kadian related and i’m not a kadian girlie so i was blocking it out when i first saw it. 😅😅😅

okay, now let’s go to the cpn. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the post he made is his 1085th on weibo. oh what a good number, like a mashup between their birthdays. and the kadian that was used 191919. which means still still still. or you can concentrate on the repeated use of the number 999 ( In Chinese, nine is pronounced jiu, which also means “long lasting.” As the highest single digit, it represents the maximum level of mortal happiness, longevity, and good luck. A perfect ten is reserved for the gods. Case in point: in respect to the Heavens, the Forbidden City in Beijing has 9999.5 rooms, just short of a flawless 10,000. )

who is saying still too? forever with who? wang yibo. based on my first post about it, his use of that word 谷雨 that also came up in LTS lyrics.

another coincidence is that in the song itself, the word comes up in the 0:19 mark. 👀

commemorating the anniversary of when he followed yibo on weibo, 4/20/2018 so he posted on the eve of that day. maybe he is celebrating something else that only the two of them know and it’s not necessarily something as mundane as following a person on weibo. who knows. however, it’s on the bxg calendar so we are marking that down as a possible reason. 📝

i love this explanation tho, that goes back to that actual day years ago and what happened. it was the 5th day of filming CQL and they did not have scenes together, so why did he pay attention and followed him? he was filming the scene in the burial mounds, WWX was drunk and reminiscing about when he first met LWJ. WWX misses LWJ cause he is not there. Was XZ also missing WYB that time? to the point that he went to his weibo account and followed him?

it’s not a secret that XZ prefers it when WYB is there, not only to act with, but just there for him. plus this level of attachment on the 5th day of filming is not surprising when it comes to them.

finally, the imagery of the rain when it comes to them is one that holds some meaning. much like how we fixate on the stars and moon. photos below to show some of those relations to the rain. ☔️

and that lrlg conversation they had that went:

XZ: "I'm waiting for you"

WYB: "I'll come and have dinner with you when it rains”

XZ: "Tomorrow's meal"

WYB: "Then tomorrow"

before we end, i’ll add this quote that seems to fit the whole subject of rain:

"Because it rains so often, many important things in life seem to have happened in the rain. Those memories are now uncovered and still feel wet. Even if they dry, they are like a book soaked in water, with ripples on the paper that are difficult to calm down."

sources aside from the ones directly linked: one / two / three / four 💛

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 month

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what's the one harry potter pairing u like that u mentioned in the tags of your hinny post?

Anonymous: Can I ask who that minor character you ship with Harry is? For some absurd reason my mind jumped to Stan Shunpike lol but it's probably not him.... Or is it?

Okay, so this is kind of a funny story. Like, my pipeline through hp pairings was a weird one. Like, I used to read a lot of Harry pairings, still do on occasion (some make more sense than others). None of them were ones I would point at and say: "that should've happened in the books"

One day, I was innocently writing a fic (canon divergence of GoF), and it was just for me, for funnsies, never posted it anywhere and not planning to. And I planned to pair Harry with someone there (honestly, I don't remember who because I didn't write the plan down) but when writing, Harry ended up with a different character. And it was so strange to me because that never happened.

Like, how do you write a ship accidentally?

But I did. I wrote Harry into a ship by accident. So I went back to the books to try and figure out why the hell would my subconscious decide that's the way to go.

I'll also preface it by all this being my subjective opinion and I do read other Harry ships in fics, this one just quickly became my favorite to write (and the only one I write). Also, I don't actually think this is a pairing that should've happened in the books, it's place is in fic and that's where I like it.

So, the character I accidentally shipped with Harry is... *drumroll*

Stan Shunpike!

Not really, it's:

Theodore Nott

Now, you might look at the name and go: "Who the fuck is that?"

And you'll be correct. Theo has 0 speaking lines in the entire book series. His name appears twice. He, himself, as a person, only appeared on page, like, 3 times in the background. The scene that gives the most information about him is other characters talking about him. He isn't even present.

That being said, I'm very good at extrapolating a lot of information from very little evidence. So allow me, to walk you through who is Theodore Nott and why I ship him with Harry.

Basic Information

So, let's start with the most basic overview before I pull out the quotes and go any deeper.

We know Theo is a Slytherin student in Harry's year. So he likely shares a dorm with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Theo's father is both at the graveyard at the end of GoF and in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, so we know he is a Death Eater. We also know Thoe's father was one of the first and closest Death Eaters to Voldemort, who waited for him during his interview with Dumbledore in 1967:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed...”

(HBP, page 444)

We also know the Nott family is "as pure-blooded as the Malfoys" according to JKR in an interview. We also know Theo's great-grandfather (maybe? the family relation isn't clear), Cantankerus Nott, is suspected to be the one who wrote the Pure-Blood Dictionary, the book that coined the term "Sacred 28" and made that list (which the Nott family are on).

The name Nott is potentially to be derived from the name Nótt, which is the personification of the night in Norse Mythology. So it has been theorized the Nott family have a Nordic origin. Possible, but it doesn't really matter for this post.

What does, is that he comes from a dark, Death Eater, blood-purist family similar to the Malfoys. Even so, Theo never took the Dark Mark and never joined Voldemort in the books.

Now, that we have the basic information out of the way, let's look at Theodore as a person.

All the details I could gather from the books

Alright, now we get to the fun part. That is, me going through all the relevant scenes that mention Theodore Nott and actually creating a character psychoanalysis out of basically nothing.

So, the quotes aren't organized in a particular order. I'm just going to explain Theo and then explain why all this makes me ship him with Harry.

“Well, I pity Slughorn’s taste. Maybe he’s going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn’t heard I’m on the train, or —” “I wouldn’t bank on an invitation,” said Zabini. “He asked me about Nott’s father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he’d been caught at the Ministry he didn’t look happy, and Nott didn’t get an invitation, did he? I don’t think Slughorn’s interested in Death Eaters.” Malfoy looked angry, but forced out a singularly humorless laugh.

(HBP, page 150)

This is a part of the conversation between Draco, Pansy, and Blaise, Harry overhears when he is hiding in their compartment at the beginning of HBP. I have a few things to note regarding this scene.

Firstly, throughout this conversation, Pansy, Blaise, and Draco all call each other by their first name. This shows closeness, they are all friendly and familiar enough to use their first names with each other. Theo, though, is referred to as "Nott" by all three in the compartment.

He doesn't actually sit in their compartment which is in itself a sign about how he isn't really friendly with Draco's group. Considering the group is most of his year from his house, Theo is likely very lonely, and it will be apparent from other scenes I bring up later.

Secondly, Theo's father is in Azkaban. We know Draco is bothered about his own father's predicament. He mentions it to Harry and bothers him over it, Theo doesn't though. Theo doesn't seem to be bothered by Harry or his father's incarceration.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the relationship between Theo and his father is not a good one.

(I know some fics like to have Lucius be abusive towards Draco, for some reason. But the books really don't back this up. Lucius loves Draco and Draco adores his father)

Theo, though, Theo seems to be the one with a very strained relationship with his father. Strained enough that he isn't bothered the man is in Azkaban. What I'm saying is that Theo's father likely abuses or mistreats him in some capacity.

If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle’s reactions. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library, together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked around at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment, and Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: He had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters

(OotP, page 583)

This is a scene at the end of OotP after Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Theo's fathers were caught at the ministry and sent to Azkaban because they are Death Eaters. There are a few important notes about this scene.

The first, Hermione knows Theo, while Harry and Ron don't really. This means she likely knows him from the classes she takes and Harry and Ron don't — Arithmancy and/or Ancient Runes.

The second, he is sitting with other Death Eater children, but I don't think it's by choice. I mentioned in the previous quote how he isn't close to Draco and his crew. He sits with them here mostly because he doesn't have another choice. Theo doesn't seem to really have any friends, so he sits with the closest people he has to friends — kids he has known since he was young because their fathers were in the same circle.

The other note about this is that Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco are all mentioned as being threatening and malicious towards Harry because they don't like that their fathers are in Azkaban. Theo, though, Theo doesn't threaten Harry, he isn't part of their whisperings. As I mentioned above, he's likely happy his father is in Azkaban.

A pair of blank, white, shining eyes were growing larger through the gloom and a moment later the dragonish face, neck, and then skeletal body of a great, black, winged horse emerged from the darkness. It looked around at the class for a few seconds, swishing its long black tail, then bowed its head and began to tear flesh from the dead cow with its pointed fangs. A great wave of relief broke over Harry. Here at last was proof that he had not imagined these creatures, that they were real: Hagrid knew about them too. He looked eagerly at Ron, but Ron was still staring around into the trees and after a few seconds he whispered, “Why doesn’t Hagrid call again?” Most of the rest of the class were wearing expressions as confused and nervously expectant as Ron’s and were still gazing everywhere but at the horse standing feet from them. There were only two other people who seemed to be able to see them: a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face, and Neville, whose eyes were following the swishing progress of the long black tail.

(OotP, page 445)

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”

(OotP, page 446)

The stringy Slytherin boy mentioned here is Theo. This scene proves that:

He takes Care of Magical Creatures

He saw someone die

Let's explore the second one for a moment. The fact Theo can see Thestrals means he watched someone die and was old enough to comprehend what he was seeing. We also know Theo's mother is dead. So it's likely the person he watched die was his mother.

I also want to draw attention to Theo's distaste towards Thestrals. He could likely see them carrying the carriages every year since 2nd year, it's not his first time seeing them. But it doesn't stop his displeasure with their sight from showing. Which says something about him. It means he likely recalls his mother and her death whenever he looks at the Thestrals. and these are memories Theo rather not experience.

We don't know how his mother died, but I'd hazard a guess it wasn't natural. After all, wizards have long life spans, they are more durable to illness and injury, and don't usually die from accidents unless very extreme or magical. And there was no epidemic of dragonpox (a disease that does tend to kill wizards) in the time since 1980 and the books. So, she was more likely killed at some point between 1985(ish) and 1991.

“No, I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” Harry saw Malfoy lean close to Nott and whisper something; both of them sniggered, but Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her.

(HBP, pages 185-186)

First, Theo is an O student in potions since he is in the potions NEWT class, and was probably meant to be there even if Snape was the teacher.

Second, again, Theo doesn't really have friends. He sits next to Draco as the only other Slytherin in the class. Also, they share the circumstances of being sons of Death Eaters currently in Azkaban. Although both of them seem to deal with it quite differently.

Third, Theo joins Draco in making fun of Hermione's blood status, but he does not initiate it. Considering the environment he was raised in and is in, it makes sense he would make fun of it. Whether he's a blood-purist or not, he would want to keep his image considering he doesn't have many allies. Hanging out with Draco is survival, not friendship. They aren't even on a first-name basis with each other.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes,” he said, nodding gravely at Malfoy and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. . . .

(HBP, page 186)

The final quote I have about Theo is from the same potions class as above. Both he and Draco are portrayed here as underestimating amortentia and its potential damage. It makes sense for their upbringing in the Wizarding World, which has no real laws or regulations regarding love potions that are seen as harmless fun more often than not.

I'll add Theo likely didn't witness a healthy romantic relationship. Considering his father is a Death Eater who is likely abusive and may or may not have killed his mother. With this as his reference to a marriage, it's clear why he'd look down on love and love potions.

Why I think Theo and Harry have potential

Okay, so now that we know who Theodore Nott is, let's talk about why I ship him with Harry.

I think Harry, in general, would get along best with a clever partner with the ability to be ruthless (Slytherins or Ron fall into this category). Because Harry isn't some golden savior; he casts unforgivables, and is very willing to poison Umbridge or Crocio Snape if he could get away with it. He needs a partner that won't be horrified by these thoughts.

Also, Theo literally never speaks on page. Even when spoken to, his reactions are silent. I think this quiet and no need to talk, the ability to be comfortable in silence, is something that would be comfortable for Harry. Harry in the books finds himself annoyed with Ron and Hermione's constant banter on occasion, so I think it fits well.

Theo would also be comfortable around Harry without a need to play a certain part. Because Harry wouldn't care about that. He would honestly rather Theo forgo the pure-blood Slytherin act.

I feel like Harry and Theo, have a good potential to understand each other. Theo lost his mother and likely experiences abuse from his father. It makes them very likely to trauma bond over their crap life and shared experience. Two out of three only ones who could see the Thestrals in the entire class.

The other thing I feel they could connect over is being lonely. Harry spent all his childhood until Hogwarts basically being on his own. Theo stayed on his own. Draco at least has his parents, he has other students he's closer to, not that he shares everything with them, but he has some support network. Theo has none. And this is something Harry knows well.

Theo, I think, wouldn't expect anything specific from Harry. He doesn't even interact with him, not to mock him, and not to idolize him, he doesn't care at all. And we know how much Harry appreciates being thought of as Harry and not as the Boy-Who-Lived. Theo would allow Harry to be himself without some mold he wants him to fit in.

The fact Theo never becomes a Death Eater, even though he was in Draco's year and his father was a Death Eater before Lucius (and in better standing than Lucius with Voldemort) is so interesting. It's somewhat surprising Theo wasn't marked. It means he didn't want to be. It means that Theo Nott didn't want to torture and kill muggleborns or blood traitors, or anyone really. And he didn't want to swear his allegiance to Voldemort. This is just a fascinating fact to me and something I enjoy considering. What life experience made him come to that conclusion? Was it just his dislike of his father that pushed him away? Could he have been another Sirius Black (Gryffindor in a Slytherin family) under slightly different circumstances? I mean, Voldemort likely wouldn't force him to become a Death Eater, but would his father? I don't know what at all went down there, but I like that potential story.

We also know he wasn't part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad, even though some minor Slytherins were mentioned to be part of it. He just seems to be an actually decent guy (I don't care what Cursed Child says about him, I know he's there but I avoided almost anything to do with Cursed Child so I barely know the plot).

Finally, this is a character Harry doesn't have as much drama to get over with. Yes, sometimes I want to read overcoming drama between characters before it becomes a romance, but sometimes I want something chiller than that. And Theo is a really chill, safe, Slytherin option for Harry.

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #hollowedtheory #hollowedheadcanon #hp #hp thoughts #harry james potter #asks #anon asks #anonymous #theodore nott #theo nott #nottpott

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astrosky33 · 1 year

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐀𝐂 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄

I wanted to talk about Ariana and Mac’s relationship because I truly do feel like they were soulmates and had a karmic bond. I used to be so obsessed with their relationship they just seemed so in love and had such an amazing bond it was so cute. It was heartbreaking when Mac passed

Their Composite Chart has always been something that fascinated me because they have so many placements that make so much sense and indicate a karmic bond

I didn’t know if people would be mad that I posted about this considering Ariana is happily married but I am in no way trying to be negative. I’ve had this in my drafts for a while but just finally wanted to post it

Saturn in the 1st house (Chart Ruler)

This placement indicates a karmic bond and long term relationship. This is because Saturn represents longevity and the 1st house represents the relationship as a whole in Composite Charts/main themes

Pisces Venus

Venus is exalted in Pisces bringing positive and strong energies to this area of life in the relationship (romance, harmony, and pleasure)

Moon at 0°

0° is a critical degree showing new energies that haven’t yet been discovered. Some astrologers say that the Moon represents our soul meaning in this life it could’ve been part of their soul contract to go through these karmic experiences in order to learn something. Especially since the Moon is in the 8th house and the 8th house represents major transformations

Scorpio Midheaven

Mac’s death was very public and Ariana was unfortunately blamed for it and received a lot of hate. This could be because Scorpio is ruled by Pluto (Pluto represents death) and it’s traditionally ruled by Mars (Mars can represent hate). Their Mars and Pluto are both in the 10th house as well which represents public perception and fame

Mars sextile Vertex (orb 0.04°)

Often this aspect will be in Composite Charts of karmic relationships

Mercury in the 9th house

This can indicate laughing a lot together and just going on lots of fun adventures with each other which they did

Venus in the 2nd house

They sang together and had a very popular song called “The Way”. Venus represents harmonies and the 2nd house represents your singing voice. This also indicates a very loving relationship since Venus represents the love we show to each other in Composite and the 2nd house represents stability, self worth, and sensuality

Regulus in the 7th house

This is the reason their relationship got so much attention and was so publicized. Their Sun and Uranus are also at 17° which is a fame degree

Juno Asteroid aspecting Midheaven

Indicates the public viewing you as a cute/loving couple that’s very committed to one another

Lova Asteroid aspecting the Sun

Indicates a romantic relationship happening

3rd house ruler in the 10th house

They posted a lot on social media and were very popular on Instagram. The 3rd house represents social media and the 10th house represents fame

》 If you want me to read more couples Composite Charts or even Synastry then comment below

𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗬

𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

𝗦𝗨𝗕 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗢𝗡

#astro community #astrology #zodiac #astro placements #astrology tumblr #astro chart #birth chart #composite chart #asteroid astrology #mars #mars astrology #ariana grande #mac miller #ariana and Mac #mac miller and ariana grande #the way #love astrology #romance astrology

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bugsbenefit · 1 year

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seeing a "Mike is completely oblivious to his feelings and doesn't know he's in love with Will" take float on my dash from the wild and... i'm sorry i hate this interpretations so much. everyone can see things differently, but Mike having no clue of his own feelings makes absolutely no sense with what we see on screen to me. none

if this is ranty ignore little old me, i just need to complain today lmao

not only does Mike pause to look at Will's lips multiple times, which you could maybe argue he just doesn't realize anymore (doubtful since it's not something he's always done, it only started in s3 which is less than a full year away from s4 canonically)

there's also the whole fact that nothing else of his s4 conflict would make sense anymore. if Mike didn't know he didn't love El, what was he worried about telling her then, that she wouldn't like the truth of? it can't be that he loves her because he knows she would like that. Mike has to consciously be aware of something he knows he should tell El, but can't, because he's scared of how she'll take it

the same also goes for the sbp scene where Mike looks back at Will, shocked or conflicted, because Will is pushing him to confess to El. the initial shock would be inappropriate if Mike was already planning to tell El he loved her anyways and had no idea he actually loved Will

it also means that Mike didn't intentionally lie during the monologue with is almost more egregious because we saw Mike talk to the other's about sending El to Pennhurst with 0 concerns. he didn't know El overheard that so it might be something he thinks El could believe. but he himself would remember that he didn't "fall in love with her that moment", saying otherwise just makes Mike look like the dumbest, most unaware character in the whole show by far. not even just the show, it would probably make him one of the most oblivious characters out of Any show i can think of right now actually

it would also make no sense why we're completely barred from Mike's inner feelings during the monologue. if Mike genuinely believed what he was saying we'd be allowed to know his thoughts, since they wouldn't spoil anything yet. but alas, not only does Finn keep his lips sealed, even the rough drafts from three years ago skip over his internal feelings or thoughts completely which is extremely unusual for an emotional monologue of this importance and magnitude

everything else aside, the idea that Mike would just. not realize. he's queer and in love with his best friend is kind of bizarre to me. it really plays into the fanon version of Mike who is inhumanly oblivious and stupid. because canon Mike is actually not that bad with feelings, he can articulate himself if he wants to and he can pick up on and explain complex emotions he himself feels all the way back in s1. saying that Mike is genuinely too oblivious to realize his feelings isn't at all in line with his canon characterization

and besides it not making sense for his character. it's also a nonsensical choice from a writers perspective. if Mike would genuinely be unaware of his feelings for Will and his queerness; Byler would be rushed. i'm excited for Byler as much as the next person but this would be a horrible way to go about it. because s5 would then need to include:

Mike realizing he's not in love with El

Mike realizing he's queer

Mike dealing with the consequences of being queer in the 80s/coming to terms with said queerness to the point he feels comfortable acting on it

Mike realizing he's in love with Will

Mike and El finally breaking up

Mike and Will confessing to each other and getting together

that is an absurd amount of things to cram into a single seasons and essentially a character 180 in 8ish episodes. and all these points also need space and time to breathe to sit well with the audience. having Mike realize he's not in love with El and realize he's in love with Will would need a significant pause in between to feel good for the audience, but there's only so much time left. that will feel rushed no matter how well you write it. if they just revealed Mike being queer and in love with Will to the audience while having him already be aware of it we'd skip steps 1-4 on this list. the audience getting new information and recontextualizing things that already happened takes significantly less time than having a character go through the realizations first hand since that takes more development time

at this point, there's no way to write Mike realizing he's queer from scratch well with only one season left. there just isn't. especially with the amount of plot we need to cover in s5, the action, and all the other characters that need solid endings. opening a whole new can of worms for Mike is counterproductive. last seasons close character arcs, they don't kick new one's up that would take forever to properly flesh out

the thing that just really bothers me about this whole, "Mike doesn't know yet, he's oblivious" narrative, besides making little sense from a writer's pov and directly contradicting his canon character. is also that most takes just read extremely belittling. because a lot of people who say this seem to be aware that there won't be time to properly explore Mike's character or feelings like this. and they're fine with it because Mike will just be "Will's boyfriend", and only Will needs to come to terms with his queerness, Mike doesn't need an arc. and it's weird. the idea that Mike will have his whole queer realization in s5 hinges on the fact that Mike's character isn't important enough to get a fully fleshed out arc/time to naturally move from point A to point B, and that he'll just go from one relationship to the next with no problems

#byler #mike wheeler #i'm sorry live and let live everyone can do what they want with the show #but from a canon perspective the idea that Mike just /doesn't know/ is so insane to me #i genuinely hate it so much and i keep seeing it around lmao

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mus-xpart-a · 3 months

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Biology in Evangelion: Angel blood is blue, so why is Tabris’ red? - A theory

To start this off:

This is about the original series + EoE, so any Lore or Explanations added or changed by the rebuilds is not acknowledged.

This heavily relies on my interpretation, which does slightly alter the meanings of certain terms

My knowledge on biology ends at 8th grade so I’m sorry if any of this is painfully wrong / explained very poorly.

I have never had any training when it comes to writing in english so this is all over the place and has many grammar errors

Introduction

The other day I thinking about the difference between lilim / human and the seed of Adam. Specifically their blood. Beings of Adam (angels) have blue blood and beings of Lilith (humans/Lilim) have red blood.

Sooo… why does Kaworu / Tabris have red blood? We know he has red blood because of his eyes (red eyes are when there is no pigment and the light reflects the blood cells), and after unit 1 squishes him and is being cleaned off we see her hand is covered in RED blood. (Like I said earlier this is just about the original series & EoE, but I find it important to note that there is no ignoring the fact that his blood is VERY red in the rebuilds as well)

Tabris is of Adam, shouldn’t his blood be blue? If his blood is red, does that mean he’s less of an Angel? Is he really an Angel at all? I thought about these questions for far too long, and actually got quite frustrated at some points due to what seemed to be inconsistencies, until I realised it all makes sense.

Tabris does not have the biology of an angel, but that doesnt change the fact that he is one. Why is that?

What is an Angel?

Before I get too into it, I want to define what an Angel is in Evangelion. What an angel is, is defined by the characters in the show without knowing the big picture. The definition being the 15 children of Adam are Angels. In my interpretation an Angel is any and every being directly related to Adam. So Lilith isn’t an angel, and its offspring and clones aren’t either. They are Humans / Lilim. As an example following this logic, Evangelion Unit 1 (clone of Lilith) and all Lilim (offspring of Lilith) are not angels, and Adams children (Sachiel, Ramiel, Sandalphon etc) as well as Unit 0 and Unit 2 (clones of Adam) are.

I am very aware that Lilith is referred to as an Angel (specifically as the second Angel), but that is only because, like I said earlier, the characters that defined what an angel is didn’t really have the big picture in mind, nor did they have much information to go off of. Lilith isn’t of Adam, so it doesn’t make sense for it to be called an Angel. The humans found it after finding Adam, so they just assumed they are the same.

About clones

We know clones inherit the biology of their source body, even if the clone itself isn’t a 1to1 copy. So for example Rei is a clone of a Lilim (Yui), so her blood is red. As seen in her eyes and the bandages covering her many many injuries throughout the series are stained red. There’s no denying it, reis blood is red. This makes sense.

And this isn’t just for Humans / Lilim, it also applies to beings of Adam. We see this with unit 2 (a clone of Adam) in her fight with Zeruel and in EoE when she fights the mass produced Evas that her blood is also the lovely shade of blue associated with angels. (Note: To my knowledge we never see unit 0s blood, but if anyone has some scenes from the original series where we do see her bleed, let me know).

The blue blood is not something unique to Unit 2. We never see Adam bleed, however we do see that his offspring (not clones, but still related) do in fact have blue blood. Unit 1s fight with Sachiel in the second episode shows and confirms this best. This is why angels are “Pattern Blue”. It’s for their blue blood type.

Clone "genetics"

(We get a bit more into my personal interpretations here, but bear with me.)

Everything related to Lilith has red blood and everything related to Adam has blue blood.

…Right? Well, not always.

An example of this not always being completely being true is the same example I used earlier. Unit 2. Unit 2 is also related to Lilith.

Yes, she is a clone of Adam, but her soul is from Asuka’s mom, a Lilim. Unit 2 in my opinion is better described as being related to Lilith because of her soul. Who you are is determined by your soul and not necessarily your body.

So, she is related to Lilith and Adam simultaneously. But is better described as of Lilith despite being biologically of Adam.

So Clones biology is determined by the source BODY and not the biology of the original souls host, despite the souls source being better used to describe who / what the person or being is.

Where am I going with this?

Personally I believe that Kaworu is also clone of a Lilim. Which is why he can pass as human, and looks so similar to Rei. Both having red eyes, pale skin, light hair, a thinner body, and looking rather sickly. Now, I do not know if this is canon or not, but if it isn’t ever outright stated it’s pretty heavily implied in my opinion.

Tabris says that Rei is “like him”. And he isn’t referring to the fact he’s an Angel, because Rei isn’t an angel. She has Liliths soul. Lilith isn’t an angel. But she also isn’t really Lilith. Yes, she is the Vessel for its soul but they are still referred to as different beings. Just like how Kaworu is the vessel for Adams soul, but Tabris and Adam are seen as seperate beings, seperate Angels even.

So, he must be referring to the fact that they are both clones of Lilim housing the souls of other beings, Lilith and Adam respectively.

Who Tabris is a clone of is a mystery. I personally like the theory that it’s Dr. Katsuragi (Misatos dad) but in the end it’s irrelevant. What’s relevant is that he is a clone of a Lilim. And like i determined earlier, clones inherit their biology from the source of the body, and not the biology of what originally housed their soul.

In conclusion:

Despite his soul being (of) Adam and being an angel, due to the fact that he is a clone of a Lilim, Tabris’ blood is red, and not Blue.

#let me know your thoughts!!#i have been writing this for weeks #she/her for the Evas because fuck you its my analysis and i do what i want #“Who you are is determined by your soul and not necessarily your body. ” or maybe im just trans lmao #evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #kaworu nagisa #rei ayanami #media analysis #nge

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plasticflwrs · 4 months

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★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ DISCOGRAPHY — Under the cut, you will find an IN DEPTH look into the career of South Korea's favorite idol band, Plastic Flowers. Beginning in 2016, they would rebrand after failing to make a profit in 2017 and find true success with TEETH in 2020, just a few months before their 16 month hiatus would begin. In 2022, they came back stronger than ever with I'M ALIVE and have consistently topped the music charts since. They are known for their promotional style which revolves around a spring and fall release each other, amounting to about 16 releases across singles, minis, their three full studio albums. Despite their constant stream of releases, the quality never suffers despite being completely self-produced since all five members are now involved in the writing process.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ TRIGGER WARNINGS — Death of a parent, descriptive mention of eating disorders + treatment ( 2021 section ). If this piece is too triggering, please DM and I can give you a summary of what happens!

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2016 !

Compared to their underground counterparts, idol bands have been relatively successful in the past as seen with FNC's trio of FT Island, CNBLUE, and N.Flying along with JYP's newest venture, Day6. However, Plastic Flowers would fall under the radar due to the influx of third generation groups debuting between 2014 and 2016 with all three of the major companies debuting at least one new group during that time. Plastic Flowers would debut as four members with SALEM, DAL, JIHUN, and GWYN on May 15, 2016 with the lead single SCARED from their single album LET ME GO. While the two songs were praised by music critics, it failed to reach the general public. Along with their other single album, it would sell 46 copies total within the year and has never been reprinted. Original copies of the album are priced very high on second-hand selling websites and no "real fans" currently own a copy. LET ME GO and MENTALISM were even taken off of all major streaming platforms until fans demanded for it's return in 2022.

MV VIEWS: 1.2 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

In their debut, Plastic Flowers explores themes of fear and insecurity through the song SCARED. The lyrics suggest hesitant to approach someone and an inability to express oneself freely, with most fans interpreting this to relate to Salem's original group THE BIG GLOOM, which she left the year prior. The phrase why are you scared? repeats throughout the song and highlights a sense of frustration with the fear and reluctance in their relationship, despite attempts to change. The narrator yearns for reassurance and validation, seeking comfort in the hope that their fears and uncertainties will fade away.

This line-up would release their second and final single album MENTALISM in November of 2016 with the title track MOUSE. This would be a continuation of their previous release, in terms of themes and inability to perform well on music charts. Though Mouse is beloved by fans now, it made no noise in 2016 and remains their worst performing single of all time, selling even worse than their debut single. Mentalism marked their first attempts at performing at small venues like bars and other restaurants, however, due to Oliver's age, they were often denied by the promotional teams. They would return to busking and posting covers in hopes of gaining more fans. At the end of 2016, it was announced by Superbloom Media would be placed on INDEFINITE HIATUS as they evaluated where to go forward. DAL and JIHUN would leave not long after, moving to larger companies and debuting in traditional idol groups instead.

MV VIEWS: 3.9 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0.

In 2024, MOUSE is often compared to their later b-side BRAND NEW CITY from their 2023 album OHIO IMPROMPTU. Both discuss the sense of dread from being in one's prime and dreading what comes later. Mouse is described as what happens after the narrator of Brand New City moves and realizes that they need to find a way to survive, that simply moving was not enough to change their feelings and create happiness. The narrator vows to "find love / and find a way to survive here", giving them a new sense of hope for the remaining time that they have and will move on from the silence.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2017 !

In September 2017, Plastic Flowers would return with an almost completely new lineup composed of SALEM, JUNYEONG, MINGHUI, SERIN, and OLIVER. Oliver would drop his initial stage name, Gwyn, during this rebrand for an unknown reason, though he still uses it to produce for other groups. They would release ROCKSTAR from the album SOCIAL REJECTS to limited success. They would sell 99 copies of their third single album, doubling the previous records set by LET ME GO and MENTALISM. Superbloom Media would also shift their promotional style in favor of the more traditional idol route, getting them performances on Music Bank and The Show for three weeks.

MV VIEWS: 3.4 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0.

ROCKSTAR moves away from their traditional melancholic sound for more critiques of the social landscape. Rockstar explores themes of frustration and defiance in the face of judgement and control from others. They are seen as a suspect, watched closely, and labeled as a hopeless murder by those around them. Similar to their other tracks, this is believed to have been written after the conflict with The Big Gloom and is Salem's take on it. Those around the narrator continuously reject and oppose them, leading to a growing sense of resentment with the world around them. The chorus emphasizes the narrator's resolve to stay true to themselves because they believe they are doing nothing wrong. This song would be revisited in 2024 and a re-recording with new pianist Oh Deurim would be included in their third studio album RUTHLESS ROCKSTARS as a b-side.

With a small but mighty fanbase under their belt, Plastic Flowers would return in December 2017 with their first mini-album NORTH STAR, which had five songs including the title track FREEDOM. This release would double their catalogue and allow for slow growth across the next few years. THE BIG GLOOM, composed of the four original members, would also release their newest album over Soundcloud that same day, leading to tensions amongst new and old fans as the debate of what Salem should have done returned. Rather than alienating the old fans, they went back to their old sound to prove that nothing has changed and Plastic Flowers will only be a better version of her previous band. NORTH STAR was promoted similarly to their previous single album with performances on all major South Korean music shows and even an appearance on The After School Club to connect with international fans.

MV VIEWS: 6.7 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

FREEDOM returns to their original sound with the themes of liberation and desire to break from societal constraints from ROCKSTAR still following them. Freedom opens with lyrics expressing uncertainty about what to sing about, overwhelmed by the abundance of refrain in the world and emphasizes their understanding of the path that they have chosen. The narrator proclaims that they have finally found their own way and the metaphor of cutting the moon and devouring the night suggests a rebellious mindset, choosing to defy expectations and live freely. Freedom encourages fans to let go of the norm and find their own path, breaking from societal expectations for their own happiness.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2018 !

2018 would cement Superbloom's promotional style for Plastic Flowers as they release an album in the spring and fall, the seasons in which they have found the band to be most popular in. The first release of 2018 was HIGHER & HIGHER, their second mini-album with the lead single LET'S GET LOST. This release continued their momentum forward and there was nothing out of the ordinary during this era. They were slowly being included in more variety shows, as seen by their joint appearance with Day6 on Weekly Idol and their first invitations to a major award show with the Golden Disc Awards and Seoul Music Awards. They were not nominated or even performed, but their photos from the red carpet got people talking about the unknown group.

MV VIEWS: 5.7 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

By now, Plastic Flowers had also shown what their lyrical concept would be as they created another song about escaping hardships of life and embarking on a journey of self-discovery. The narrator has a desire to let go of the past and leave behind anything that feels uncertain in LET'S GET LOST. The verses encourages themselves and their companions to leave behind their negative experiences as they "open the curtains" and lock the door behind them. Later lines capture the excitement of encountering new experiences and embracing the unknown, showing their growth away from the past that seemed to follow them and rising above.

LOVE ME? would be the last Plastic Flowers album fully written and produced solely by SALEM and Superbloom's in-house production team. All of the members were growing interested in producing their own music, especially the two youngest members—Serin and Oliver. They had submitted drafts to Superbloom for Love Me?, however they were not chosen. Interviews this era were a bit tense because of this and Salem wanting to keep her creative control over the group. Superbloom would also give Plastic Flowers their first reality show, FLOWER SHOWERS, which followed them around and tried to show fans the "real" members.

MV VIEWS: 6.3 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

TWENTY-ONE revolves around the themes of heartbreak, disappointment, and the realization that a once-special relationship has come to an end. The lyrics depict the emotions of someone who believed their relationship was unique and meaningful, only to discover that their partner does not feel the same. This is famously thought to be about former bandmate YING SHUHANG, more commonly known by his stage name IRUM. Throughout high school and much of their career together, they dated and broke up around the same time Salem left to join Superbloom Media. Through this song, she is coming to terms with the relationship being over after asking "why don't you adore me?" over and over again. She uses the concept of sleep and going to be bed to bury the past and move on from the relationship, showing that she would be ready to move on once she wakes up.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2019 !

Plastic Flowers would release HYPOCREEP in March 2019, right before OLIVER was set to appear on the new survival talent competition show SUPERBAND, produced by JTBC. Despite the sound change, Hypocreep was met with positive reaction from fans and is their first mini-album to sell over 1,000 copies in the first month. It is often seen as a turning point for the band as their releases following would follow a similar sound and is the first song to credit another band member besides Salem, that being OLIVER. This would be the first of a long partnership between the two that would eventually fizzle out during their 2022 hiatus. Hypocreep is also one of the most popular songs for other idols and bands to cover given the technical requirements of each instrument.

MV VIEWS: 7.4 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

HYPOCREEP expresses frustration towards people who are hypocritical and fake, particularly those who are thirsty for drama and attention on the internet. The singer identifies as a "hypocreep," which is a term they use to describe themselves as a different breed of person who is hyper and freaky. The singer acknowledges that they may be seen as strange or abnormal to others, but they do not care because those same people secretly wish they could be like the singer.

While Hypocreep opened the door for other members writing, THE CHAIN would be the first time another member would sing on a Plastic Flowers track. The Chain is a duet between Salem and Oliver and would mark the beginning for a lead singer change. It was under the direction of Kim Yuchan, a first generation soloist, and he advised the change since Oliver was well liked by the general public after Superband. THE CHAIN still remains a fan favorite song and would give the band their first award show nomination on Show! Music Core, much to the band's surprise. Most of the members recall this era as the first time they actually felt loved by the audience and could see people singing along.

MV VIEWS: 10.2 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 1.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

The main message of THE CHAIN is that relationships can be enduring, even if they have difficulties. The first verse describes the struggles of having a relationship and feeling powerless to their partner's actions. They discuss the idea that a love can endure even in these moments of darkness, as the lover is trying to tell the other that they would never break the chain that binds them together. There is a strong guitar and bass solo--played by SALEM and OLIVER--that represents the strong connection between them that won't be broken so easily. The end is a plea to stay together, to keep the chain together, and not run into the shadows away from each other.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2020 !

Fans of Plastic Flowers fall into two camps for their 2020 releases: either loving it or hating everything it stands for. Due to it's "inappropriate lyrics" FOR YOUR LOVE was banned by all the major South Korean music shows and would be promoted in a series of live concerts instead. They would instead promote READY TO FLY as their title track for this era, saving the performances of For Your Love for their smaller performances. Not long after the conclusion of For Your Love's promotions, Superbloom Media would confirm SALEM and OLIVER's relationhip, which had begun at the end of the year prior. This would be another reason why people did not like the song as it showed their relationship was taking away from making songs about important topics, not just each other.

MV VIEWS: 29.2 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. Banned.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. Banned.

FOR YOUR LOVE talks about the desire to please and satisfy someone in a romantic relationship. The lyrics in the verses describe the singer's intent to be the first thing on the person's mind and engage in sexual activity with them. The chorus reinforces the theme of doing anything for the person they love. The bridge highlights the singer's willingness to give everything they have to their partner and the importance of communication in the relationship. The outro repeats the sentiment that the singer is willing to do anything for their partner's love.

TEETH, and it's accompanying album LOVESICKNESS, continues with the themes from FOR YOUR LOVE. Unlike the previous song, it was actually allowed on music shows and was loved by their fanbase for the aesthetics that came with it. Due to the show going semi-viral on TWITTER thanks to a tweet by a poppy asking "what business Plastic Flowers had releasing" the song, LOVESICKNESS sold over 10,000 copies by the end of the year. This would also be the final time they were promote prior to their 16 month hiatus, making it special to their fans. Teeth would later become a sleeper hit by going viral once again and entering the top 10 on the Circle Chart after being used on an OST.

MV VIEWS: 229.6 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 3.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

The major themes of TEETH relate to toxic and tumultuous relationships, with the lyrics depicting the ups and downs of being someone that can be both loving and hurtful. Written completely by OLIVER, many fans have begun to debate the real meaning of the song as it relates to his former relationship with Salem. In TEETH, the protagonist realizes that the person they are with is full of contradictions as they compare their lover to a pair of teeth. The lover's heart is described as having teeth, meaning that while they may talk sweetly, they can also hurt and bite. The relationship is very complicated, in which both parties are hurting each other but can't let go with the narrator realizing that they are losing themself by the end of the song and maybe even the relationship.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2021 !

The GOODNIGHT era was spent dreading what would come next for Plastic Flowers. It was obvious that the members were losing steam as shown by their smaller performances and the constant cancellation of their performances at their bar, Cheeky's. The release of 403 only made that worse as they went back to the melancholic sound and promotions outside of music shows were cut short. In fear of losing the band, Poppies made sure that it sold well, achieving a record-breaking 14,000 copies in the first month alone and securing them more music show nominations. However, it seemed that nothing they were doing was enough as Plastic Flowers slowly slipped away from the public eye.

MV VIEWS: 122.9 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 3.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

403 focuses on liberation and moving forward from a difficult past. In the verses, detachment and release from pain and regret is encouraged alongside the image of taking off one's shoes and lying on the floor as an escape. The narrator wants the listener to forget about the past and focus on the possibilities of the future, becoming an active participant in their life rather than remaining passive. There is a reoccurring theme of breaking free as shown through the lyrics "get up in the morning" and "get out of deception", indicating the need to rise above negative situations and leave them behind. It suggests that nothing valuable can be obtained by staying where they are currently and encourages them to let go and move on.

Despite GOODNIGHT selling well, Plastic Flowers were put on an unofficial hiatus two months after it's initial release. Superbloom would be intentionally vague about the details behind the scenes to keep everything under wraps, however, sasaengs exposed the truth. Not only were they on hiatus to "fight burnout", but Oliver had returned to his hometown of Boston after the death of his father and Jiyeon had been checked into an eating disorder treatment by their manager, Cheon Garam. During this time, Salem and Oliver would also BREAK UP, creating a new tension within the band. The band's social media—both company owned and personal—would go completely dormant from March 2021 to April 2022, leaving many to believe that the group would never return and would be lost just before they achieved stardom.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2022 !

Just when most fans began to lose hope for Plastic Flowers to comeback, Superbloom did the unthinkable: dropping a new set of teasers for a full album called INTERNET BLUES. During this time, it was also revealed that MINGHUI had left the band and was replaced by Timefighter contestant OH DEURIM, who had failed to make it into the debut line-up by one place. According to Minghui, he left on good terms with the members but could no longer handle the idol life anymore. Despite how protective poppies are, they surprisingly welcomed Deurim with open arms and wanted to see what she could bring to the table. INTERNET BLUES would be released on May 5, 2022 with the title track I'M ALIVE, which secured them their FIRST WIN and first NOMINATION at a major award show after selling 100,000 copies.

MV VIEWS: 392.9 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 8.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 2.

I'M ALIVE is an uplifting song that talks about the feeling of overcoming challenges and persevering through tough times. They promise that even in the midst of uncertainty and darkness, the singer declares that they will keep themselves alive. The chorus serves as a mantra of sorts as the singer repeatedly affirms that they are alive and won't give up. The idea of "highlight" suggests that even in the bleakest moments of life, one can find something beautiful to hold onto. The bridge encourages listeners to keep searching, keep breathing, and keep alive. It's a call to action to hold onto life and never give up.

Plastic Flowers would return to their original promotional schedule with the release of PSYCHO, the title track for their first studio album, CALL ME CRAZY that November. The studio album was celebrated by all fans as it finally meant that Plastic Flowers were confirming that they were here to stay despite their earlier issues. The members looked so much more alive this era and they even held their first FAN SIGN, which went as well as expected. The members had fun with their fans, but hated the constant requests for cuteness or prying into their personal relationships. They would hold their own formal CONCERT, with over three thousand people in attendance.

MV VIEWS: 323.4 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 9.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 3.

PSYCHO explores themes of obsession and dependency in a relationship. The lyrics depict a protagonist who is deeply infatuated with someone to the point of being obsessed, as represented by the repeated phrase "I can't stop thinking about you." The protagonist seeks answers and validation from a doctor, indicating a desperation for a solution to their intense emotions. They recognize their own exaggerated behavior, acknowledging that they may appear crazy or "psycho" to others. The chorus reinforces the protagonist's obsession, stating that they cannot live a day without thinking about this person. It conveys a sense of dependency and the idea that the protagonist's life revolves entirely around the object of their affection.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2023 !

Coming into 2023, Poppies were promised many exciting things from the band. In March, Oliver's solo BURNOUT SYNDROME with the lead single STARTING LINE would be released to overwhelming success, cementing his popularity with the general public and showing everyone that he was here to stay. Though fans were happy for him, the same could not be said for his bandmates as SALEM and JUNYEONG began a smear campaign that lasted throughout the entire promotional period. Oliver would ignore any questions about the situation and chose to move on from it instead, celebrating his own achievements rather than focusing on those around him. In June, the band would come back as five to release LOVE AND WAR with the lead single of the same name, which became their best selling record at that point at just under 1 million copies.

MV VIEWS: 748.3 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 10.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 7.

WAR tells the story of a broken relationship, in which the narrator realizes there isn't much to save if they cannot stop fighting. They are beginning to realize there isn't much to save and they have lost their love for each other, leading towards a state of emptiness or insignificance. The song's title WAR comes from the lyric "war of attrition without benefit", highlight that this war between the lovers is doing nothing to help with their current problems. The narrator wants to call a ceasefire, but it seems that their relationship's end if inevitable. Written by Oliver, many fans believe that this song was written about the end of his relationship with Salem, which has never been confirmed or denied by Oliver or Superbloom Media.

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