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tiptapricot · 8 months

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MK ship dynamic hcs continued with marcjake!

They start out with a lot of animosity when meeting. Marc has a lot of trepidation and deep seated fears and judgements about there being parts he didn’t know about, about not being as “in control” as he thought he was, and Jake has his own frustrations about how things in the past have been handled, and the things him and Marc disagree on when it comes to their shared wellbeing. The overlap of those feelings causes a lot of friction, and a lot more arguments during the immediate time post Jake reveal

They’re two guys used to bottling up their emotions, to focusing on an end goal and not including themself in the forefront of that, and that means communication is a bitch

Steven tries his best to get in the middle of them, but there’s still several months of headaches, and days full of shouting in their head, and people not being around when they need to be. It’s tough

Jake is the one that ends up breaking the tension. Him and Marc are butting heads again, over something small that’s grown into something larger, and Jake snaps at him. “You’re not fucking alone in this, Spector.”

Marc quiets for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you aren’t the only one that’s gone through this shit. I was there too. I pulled our ass out of that house, I pulled our ass out of the military when you were running straight into fire, and I pulled our ass out of Cairo. It’s not just you. It never has been. So I get it, yeah? It can really suck, to have to keep going, to have to cover yourself up, to keep track of everything, but you get over it and get in line. I’ve had to.”

It’s not really the way he meant to say it, but once it’s out there’s no going back. Marc slips away, leaving a ruffling of anger and something heavy right beneath their sternum, and Jake throws his hands up and gets back to whatever they were doing

It’s over the next week that the interaction really settles in

It changes something for Marc, in how he sees Jake. He can’t unhear what was said, can’t shake the tactile push of Jake’s words. It was so fucking familiar, the feelings in them, and he—Dammit

Steven talked once, about recognition of the self through the other, but this… Marc doesn’t want this. This isn’t what it’s supposed to be like

It’s hard not to notice, afterwards, the way Jake doesn’t snap at him for why he’s doing something, but what he’s doing as a result (like he knows, like he’s been through this himself)

It’s hard not to notice the way his presence is always felt with a heaviness in their hands and around their shoulders, an ache in the joints, making everything feel more worn

It’s hard not to notice that when he’s mad he hasn’t been listened to, mad that he’s been alone, that he knows why it happened

It’s a terrible thing, for Marc to realize how alike they are

It makes it hard to hold onto his anger. Instead of an obstacle, and enemy, a Someone to shove away so the world can be simpler, Jake becomes a synchronized step, old footprints Marc knows the rhythm to

He’s pissed about it anyway, though

Jake doesn’t comment, when Marc stops pushing back and trying to draw answers out of him, and just hovers. Just watches

Jake’s in the flat one night after being out serving Khonshu, sitting in their kitchen with his gloved knuckles pressed into a small bowl of ice, when Marc settles forward. Their neck tingles and the world blurs a bit, and Jake hisses when Marc helps register more of the pain

“Can you go?” Jake asks through gritted teeth.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Why are you still wearing gloves?”

“Ice burn isn’t great, Spector.” And cold, bloody, wetness is one of the last things Jake wants to subject his fingers to

There’s something like a sigh and then the world thins as Marc pushes through him, shouldering Jake to the side. He lets him, too tired to push back

Marc stares for a moment after the switch, and then peels off the gloves, wincing at the tug on their badly split knuckles. “Clean first,” he mutters. “Then ice.”

He takes them to the bathroom and rinses their hands, working gentler than he usually does. Maybe because he thinks Jake will snip at him if he’s too rough, or maybe just because he’s always been better at being careful with others than himself

Marc does the alcohol rub too, the little strips of gauze, the band aids. Then he swipes a dishcloth from the kitchen and a bag of peas from the freezer, and settles on the couch, coolness seeping over their fingertips

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Together they stare up at the ceiling, a bitter acceptance settling deep and hesitant somewhere in the quiet

They don’t end up talking much more, after that. Not in full Words and Voice conversations, at least

When they do it’s usually from the fallout of something building, from the difficulty of Working through feelings, or knowing How to

They continue to get frustrated, continue to miss the mark on assumptions and bottle things up.

Marc fronts for most of a mission for Khonshu once, when they’ve been dosed with some toxin that throws their brain out of wack, and Jake simmers angrily for a week before Marc realizes it was his recklessness got Jake pissed

In turn, Marc constantly gets annoyed at Jake’s clothes being left around the flat or his shoes tracking dirt in the door, and it bursts into a rather long trail of back and forth notes in their phone about how to share their space and what their cleanliness boundaries are

Keeping up Work and Home and Hobbies and Moon Knight is a lot. Jake is busy, Marc is busy, Steven is busy, and collectively they are tired, so clear talking doesn’t happen all the time. But…

There’s another aspect to what settles that’s… different

Sometimes the lack of Words isn’t the silent treatment, or a volcano building pressure. Sometimes it’s just… that they don’t need to

Jake gets when Marc is tense and snappy the morning after a nightmare. Marc knows what it’s like to crash after a bad mission and to wake up with their body sore and hardly wanting to move. They both know what it’s like to stare at the numbers on their phone and wish it felt good to call them

They get each other, as much as Marc may loathe to admit it at first. They both understand what it’s like to lose themselves in protecting others, to squirrel feelings away where they won’t hurt, to hide. It’s something different than they can get with other people or with Steven. Not better, just different

They both try to say the quiet part through actions, to Show whatever kind of appreciation has grown instead of Admitting it. They do little things, passively, with the other in mind. Just because they know better, of course, or because it makes their life easier. It doesn’t mean much in the big scheme, really

Jake begins casually checking that Marc eats a varied diet, that he’s getting himself good food and not sacrificing flavor for efficiency (or allowing Steven to snack without getting any actual meals in). That shifts into getting him to get fancy takeout now and then (whether by Jake ordering it himself or by Marc finding a menu and a number left on the counter), to allow Marc little pleasures that are his and to find enjoyment without being afraid

Marc does his own little upkeep. When he’s annoyed at clothes being left around, he folds them, and at some point it becomes a relaxing routine instead of a pointed move. He sets Jake’s shoes by the door, and puts the coffee pot on when he feels the slow, slushy shift of him coming towards front after a night of something tiring. Marc gets the car washed, and dusts the vents, and swaps out the air freshener when it goes stale, and buys new pocket tissues.

They never discuss it beyond passing comments (“Is this the right place?” “Best on the South Side.” or “You wrinkled my tie, Marc.”). Discussing it would be too far. Discussing it would be something different.

In times they meet in headspace, when Jake emerges from his locked up corners of the inner world, they mostly do things in parallel play

Jake fiddles with the old cab he has in there, the one that always needs some kind of repairs, and Marc will sit quietly and pretend he’s not flipping through old NASA magazines they still have memorized from childhood

Jake strikes up a conversation about that once. (“You still into space?” “You still into driving?” Jake laughs loud and Marc cracks a grin. He’s tugged forward to a Mars exhibit at Steven’s old work a few days later)

The arguments that pop up get shorter. The miscommunication gets a bit better. The flames lull to embers, and it takes both of them time to admit that means there’s warmth there now

Wasn’t it meant to be rotten work? All of this. Especially to the other, especially if it was them.

Because it isn’t

Marc thinks it’s nice to make jokes in Spanish again, and to have rock and jazz and Latin pop stuck in his head on bus rides

Jake can admit that seeing Marc smile gives him way more of a kick than getting him to swear, and that having someone there to keep him company on late nights is better than a lonely parking lot

None of that means the bite goes away, that the struggle to fit edge to edge ever smooths, but at the same time…

At the same time there are distant hands to care for bruised knuckles, and a leather anchor to cling to during flashbacks, and someone else to say “I know right?” when memories resurface that make the floor shake.

There’s a camaraderie there, in their mutual weariness, in their shared fear of failing to protect the people they love, and their history of fighting and surviving

And sure, they both get that after a point, but… well shit, it wasn’t meant to feel like this

Marc isn’t meant to find himself fiddling with Jake’s gloves, only to lean down and rest his cheek on the leather. Jake isn’t meant to smile a bit wider and feel a warm heat in his throat when Marc’s close to front. They aren’t meant to have silent, parallel activity turn into hips side by side as one of them tells a story, and then into hands brushing together, and into the muted touch of holding.

But fuck if it isn’t nice, if it doesn’t feel good, and safe, and sweet

Neither of them know how to say it. They pinch and gripe and snap, but Love is not a word they know how to say. It’s so sappy

Not that they need to. Not that they’ve ever really had to Say the things that matter. It comes through anyway

There are weary cuddles, looks that pass meaning easily because they’ve seen the same one on their own face in the mirror, reassurances, strong hands and safe corners of headspace when the world outside is too loud

Marc leaves unfinished tic tac toe boards and messages in morse code in Jake’s jacket pockets. Jake gets him an in-box Blast Off from eBay for Chanukah one year. They make a Google doc to argue over sports

One afternoon, Marc’s helping get food ready for Shabbat (at Steven’s insistence for them to actually rest and focus for a weekend) when he’s hit with a thick wave of dissociation. Nothing happens for a bit. No thoughts, just the untethered movement of a chest and eyes staring down, and then the hand reaches up, and the hand presses against lips. A little flash of red and green and deep brown bloom behind Marc’s eyes, and when his hand settles down again, brushed with a kiss of wetness, he huffs slightly, smiling

Jake keeps Marc floating. He tugs him up by his collar and says You aren’t allowed to drown, it will get better. You do not get to give up.

Marc gives Jake a place to stand. He straightens his hat and looks him dead in the eyes and knows him for it. You don’t get to disappear. You don’t get to be overshadowed by this weight.

And within all of it there is something gentle, something that stems from having been through the same type of wars, and being a safe understanding place for the other to retreat to

They’re dual hands holding the same mug of sweet coffee. The “Got onions. Check freezer for ice cream.” in their notes and the “Jake, did you tape the game?” sticky noted onto the front door. They’re warm kisses pressed against temples and curls and facial hair waiting to be shaved (Not a chance, Spector, let me have this one). They are a pause, and rolled up sleeves, and thumbs rubbing absentmindedly on the chafed impression of watch bands and glovelines

(JakeSteven)

#marcjake #jakemarc #which order is it…#moon knight #moon knight 2022 #marc spector #jake lockley #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is headcanoning again

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david-talks-sw · 8 months

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Dooku didn't leave because of the Jedi.

At least, if you're going by George Lucas' word.

In deleted scenes of Attack of the Clones, when we learn about Dooku's departure and his values, there's no mention of the Jedi or "the Jedi Order as an institution".

And every time Lucas refers to Dooku's disenchantment and reason for falling, he doesn't mention the Jedi.

"When you realize that Dooku is Darth Tyranus, it explains what Darth Sidious did after Darth Maul was killed: he seduced a Jedi who had become disenchanted with the Republic. He preyed on that disenchantment and converted him to the dark side, which is also a setup for what happens with Anakin." - Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of Attack of the Clones, 2002

"[Dooku is] one of the few Jedi who became disenchanted with the Republic and left the order and he is leading a separatist movement." - Vanity Fair, 2002

"I wanted a more sophisticated kind of villain. Dooku’s disenchantment with the corruption in the Empire is actually valid. It’s all valid. So, Chris plays it as, 'Is he really a villain or is he just someone who is disenchanted and trying to make things right?'" - Starlog Magazine #300, 2002

He probably meant the Republic/Senate in that last one, but you get the point. And you're seeing the pattern, right?

Dooku's problem isn't the Jedi, it's the Republic.

He's become disenchanted with a system that - according to Lucas' prologue in the 2004 book Shatterpoint - worked for 1,000 years...

"For a thousand years, the Old Republic prospered and grew under the wise rule of the Senate and the protection of the venerable Jedi Knights."

... but has been rendered ineffective because of 1) senators becoming corrupt and 2) corporations gaining political power.

"But as often happens when wealth and power grow beyond all reasonable proportion, an evil fueled by greed arose. The massive organs of commerce mushroomed in power, the Senate became corrupt, and an ambitious named Palpatine was voted Supreme Chancellor."

That's the message Dooku runs on, when he rallies the systems to form the Separatist Alliance.

"By promising an alternative to the corruption and greed that was rotting the Republic from within, Dooku was able to persuade thousands of star systems to secede from the Republic."

The Jedi aren't really a factor in his decision to leave.

Why would they be? Their political status isn't very high, they're virtually powerless, as illustrated by the film's narrative and stated repeatedly by Lucas.

On the contrary, as we already established in this post, Lucas full-on confirmed that Dooku actually carries the sympathies of most of the Jedi. Again:

Most Jedi agree with Dooku, ideologically.

As far as the Jedi are concerned, the politicians are effing up the Republic, and it sucks because the Jedi see this but aren't allowed to interfere in the political process. They have to resort to looking for loopholes in their mandates to actually get stuff done.

That's what that whole "she's a politician" scene is meant to hint at. In the commentary of Attack of the Clones, Lucas uses a similar turn of phrase as he does with Dooku.

"[This scene gives us] a chance to talk a little bit about politics and the Jedi’s disenchantment with the political process, due to the corruption and the ineffectiveness of the Senate." - Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

Considering all this, it becomes clear that the intended narrative surrounding Dooku's decision to leave the Order is not:

"The Jedi are dogmatic and asleep at the wheel except for Dooku, who is ahead of the curb and sees the system is flawed, so he left."

It's actually:

"ALL Jedi see the system is flawed, Dooku's the only Jedi who decided to take it a step further and leave the Order so he can try to get into politics himself and change things."

That's why they hesitate to accuse him of murder.

That's why in an earlier draft of the Attack of the Clones script, by the end of the second act, Mace STILL has his doubts that Dooku would sign a treaty with the Trade Federation to attack the Republic.

As far as the Jedi are concerned, Dooku is out there fighting the good fight, making noise because whenever they try to protest it falls on deaf ears... until his betrayal on Geonosis.

After all, let's not get it twisted: the Dooku we're introduced to in the films and The Clone Wars, isn't really just Dooku anymore.

He's Darth Tyranus.

A point Lucas makes sure to highlight in his Shatterpoint prologue:

"Unbeknownst to most of his followers, Dooku was himself a Dark Lord of the Sith, acting in collusion with his master, Darth Sidious, who, over the years, had struck an unholy alliance with the greater forces of commerce and their private droid armies."

It's not about doing the selfless thing for Dooku, anymore. He's knowingly part of the problem.

He's all about ambition, now. His personal goals are things like overthrowing Sidious and becoming the most powerful Jedi.

"[Anakin's] ambition and his dialogue here is the same as Dooku’s. He says “I will become more powerful than every Jedi.” And you’ll hear later on Dooku will say “I have become more powerful than any Jedi.” [...] It is possible for a Jedi to want to become more powerful, and control things." - Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

"If you put two Sith together, they try to get others to join them to get rid of the other Sith. [When revealing the truth to Obi-Wan], Dooku's ambition is really to get rid of Darth Sidious. He's trying to get Obi-Wan's assistance in that and help in that, so that he and Obi-Wan could overthrow Sidious and take over." - Attack of the Clones, Commentary Track 2, 2002

Y'know? Selfish things.

Dooku - like all other Sith, and like the very corporations and Senators he had sworn to destroy - is consumed by his own greed.

#also functionally-speaking Dooku being a Jedi is done to highlight the ambiguity throughout the investigation on whether or not this is #a scorned ex-Jedi or a straight-up bad guy... you're never sure until the end of AOTC. That and Dooku being a former Jedi shows that #even someone who was once selfless and dutiful can crave power and be selfish #which sets up a precedent for Anakin - who's already struggling with being a selfless Jedi - when HE falls to the Dark Side #Dooku being a former Jedi isn't a plot point meant to narratively criticise of the Order... it's meant to hint at Anakin's downfall.#dooku #george lucas #star wars #attack of the clones #long post #collection of quotes

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