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teaboot · 1 year

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Yo I haven't done it in forever so I forgot that working at a sex shop gives you superpowers

1. The We-Vibe Tango is a low frequency and fully waterproof rechargeable bullet vibrator that we used to sell for about $150. A new model came out about a year ago so it's on sale now online for $47. Can confirm that shipping is discreet and they have a really good warranty, just keep the packaging.

*(I'm not sponsored to say that and nobody is paying me rn, it's just a legit good deal.)

2. There are essentially three bases used for lube: Water, Oil, and Silicone. Oil breaks down any materials other than glass or metal, and Silicone breaks down Silicone toys and sometimes condoms. Water is safe for everything but tends to dry out, so people don't like it- but if you add water or spit, drying water-based lube will slick right back up.

3. If your water-based lube has given you any itching, tightening, or burning sensations, you probably have a chemical sensitivity. Obviously everyone has different preferences, but my number one recommendation is Water Slide- it's a super reasonable price compared to other lubes, it feels natural, it's incredibly gentle on the skin, and it doesn't stain sheets.

**(Again, I'm not being paid for this. By anyone. At all. I'm just sick of hearing people come in and tell me they don't use lube cause it hurts, or that they're using fucking coconut oil in their vagina. Please, God, don't put coconut oil in your vagina.)

4. A lot of massage oils use almond oil to suspend other ingredients, and warming products sometimes use cinnamon. Always, always, always check people's allergies.

5. You can buy toys off cheap sites if you want, just be wary of quality and ALWAYS read the product description. I personally wouldn't buy anything that isn't Silicone, stainless steel, or glass, because unlike jelly, plastic, "fantaflesh", and Silicon, (which is NOT Silicone!!!) They are non-porous, sterile, and don't melt in contact with each other. This means that as long as you clean them properly and don't use the wrong lubes, they will not hold bacteria or break down, which makes them safe for both you to reuse and your partner/s to share. (And to switch between front door/back door, so long as you wash before going back to front.)

6. Cotton and polyester bondage rope are cheap and great to practice with. Silk sounds fancy and is very strong but be advised that a lot of silk rope is "Silk(TM)", not actual silk. Read the product description. (I personally am reluctant to spend more than about $2 per foot for mass-produced synthetic rope, but could be persuaded to pay more for ACTUAL silk, nylon, handmade ropes, or especially attractive colors/patterns/textures.) You want your rope to be at least as thick as your thumb and layered to avoid lacerations, and taut (not stretchy) to be sure you're in control of how much pressure you're putting on.

7. Choking someone by pressing on the windpipe is painful and inefficient. If you want to, stay very, very light, as it's a very delicate area. If you want a head rush, press down on the sides of the windpipe, just below the corners of their lower jaw. You will feel a pulse there. That's the carotid artery. It carries oxygen to the brain. Pressing there will allow them to breathe, but will still "choke" the air going to their head. It's faster and painless. Only hold this for 3-4 seconds if you lack experience. It takes just under 15 seconds to make someone pass out from a blood choke, and after that you risk causing *permanent brain damage*. If your partner passes out, release pressure immediately and keep their airways clear. If you're the one being choked, know that your only warning will be spotty vision and a dizzy sensation. Communicate with your partner/s and for the love of God, do your research first. I'm not a doctor. Please God, please do your research.

8. Don't reduce blood flow to any part of the body for more than 20 minutes. This includes cock rings. Take a break for an hour between uses.

9. Most 'dick pills' are just a stimulant, a mild vasodilator, and a placebo. Usually mostly caffeine. They are not worth $20 apiece. Take a minute to meditate, have a hot shower, drink some black tea, have a coffee, go for a run, whatever- you'll get the same effect. And no, there is not a single ethical and legal sex shop in the country that can sell you viagra. You would have better luck on Facebook. Do not buy viagra on Facebook.

10. There are no "male toys" and "female toys". Your only limitations are safety and creativity. If youre sticking something into something else, just make sure everything is clean, not too big, not sharp or abrasive, and can be taken back out.

11. If something "goes missing" in your vagina and you panic, you muscles will tense up and it'll it'll harder to get back. Relax and stand up. Wait a minute. Chill. Calm down. Jump a couple times. There's nowhere for it to go and worst case scenario, I promise the emergency walk-in has seen something weirder or worse in the past hour or so.

12. You cannot return toys that you buy and don't like and I swear to God if you come into my store with an opened product and try to give it back I will lose my shit

13. Actually while I'm at it, people who work at sex shops are more often than not not sex workers and even if they were, it would still not be appropriate to flash or grope them or ask them "what they use", I will run you over in the fucking parking lot

#Sex education #Information #Body health #Not for work #Yes I will take questions please ask questions just let me know if u wanna be anon in the response

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thetragicallynerdy · 2 years

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saw your post on experiencing fandoms through mutuals and was wondering who your faves were of the fandoms you're not in 💜

oooooh great question anon!!

okay so for this excercise i am refusing to google any of the blorbos-in-law, because that makes it more fun!

Din Darjin (who I had to think very hard to remember his last name because I kept wanting to call him Din Dijon) and Baby Yoda - I haven't seen the Mandelorian (but it's on my list!!) but I adore this Tired Space Dad and his Weird Alien Force Child very very much!!! I want them to be together forever!! Even tho I know from aggregate information that they're not!!

Martin TMA - Okay so I actually have TMA blocked right now as a tag, because there's a whole it kind of hits some "hmmm that's not fun for my brain" type stuff, but I love Martin very much ;-; he looks very soft and I can choose to believe that he's happy with Jon and they make tea and have a cat together

LADY D - SHE'S SO BIG AND SO TALL AND SO SCARY AND I LOVE HER!! MISS VAMPIRE LADY YOU ARE THE BEST!!! (My hamster nearly got named Lady Minitrescue but I decided that I couldn't deal with explaining that she was named after a hot vampire lady from a game I hadn't even played over and over again)

The redheaded girl from the animated show I can't remember the name of - she's very hot!! And looks very gay!! And I think she fights?? And she's always covered in blood?? I don't know I don't go here I just love seeing her on my dash because she is very attractive

Everyone from the Mummy - so I still haven't seen the Mummy but Brendan Fraser and the lady who plays the lady are Very Hot and I love them?? They also seem kind of like smart dumbasses which makes me love them even more??? Also there are other people but I don't know who they are either but they are ALSO attractive and I love them. Seems like an A+++ movie.

Death - from Sandman, to be clear. She's not really on my dash all that much but I love her v much. Like would consider watching sandman just for her but it kind of feels like the sort of show I would probably not actually finish (sorry sandman mutuals).

Crowley and Aziraphale - Okay this is like, sort of blorbos in law who have been adopted, because I have by now actually read Good Omens, and have also seen Half The Show (have I mentioned I'm bad at watching tv???) but I love them very much even if I never properly finish it, they are good beans

I know there are more but I can't think of any right now - but I have SO many blorbos-in-law, it's ridiculous. Blorbos of my mutuals, I love u, and mutuals who show me the blorbos they love that I don't know, I love u too

Thank you anon, this was a very fun ask!!

#blorbos #blorbos in law #fandoms #ask #anon #rambling

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trickstersaint · 11 months

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I won't lie, I have little to no interest in poetry most of the time, but stumbling across your work via a friends blog has perhaps changed that. Especially your poems about being trans/nonbinary, there's something almost earthshattering about feeling recognized when I've been struggling time and again to answer questions of what being trans feels like to friends and family. I feel like I've only properly begun my journey of self-discovery, but already I find immense comfort in your work 💜

as someone who loves poetry very dearly i think it's SO important to acknowledge that it's not an art form that speaks to everybody, OR, for that matter, an art form that is very accessible when you aren't actively interested in or haven't been taught to work with it. However. the thing about poetry is that it's an incredibly broad term for a lot of art in a lot of different forms, and i'm a huge believer in finding the right poetry for someone, rather than forcing "classic" or popular poetry onto people and trying to get it to stick. i'm so honored to be your little gateway into possibly liking poetry and i hope you can find more that hit for you like mine do :)

the thing about writing poetry to me is that it's SO deeply cathartic. learning to express these things and putting them onto (metaphorical) paper is so healing and revealing and it's so fantastic to be able to share it with people. the reason i love it so much is because it's such an important form of expression to me, and then it can go out into the world and help to express some things for other people too. i'm really happy that you're finding yourself in little ways as you go along your journey: you're doing great, and you'll only discover more about yourself as you go. sending my heart and soul with you <3

to maybe get you a little interested in poetry! throw some poems at the wall and see if they stick! i am going to toss some poem recommendations over to you for your (possible) reading pleasure.

gravity by maura o'connor (sorry for the mommy blog link. it's the only place it's really available online) kind of ripped out my heart the first time i read it. it was a great moment of self-recognition for me: not in being trans, but in being a person with a current of gentleness under my skin that i worry other people can't see, a person clinging to love as if it were an answer, someone talking to god in the coffin my room has become... it's an incredibly personal poem, for me, which is always a funny thing to say when someone else wrote it, but that's the beauty of it, right? that moment of resonance. love it when poems do that.

keaton st. james (@boykeats) is a poet that i always recommend: if you're looking for trans poets, he's one of my favorites. really stylistically cool poems with a great rhythm to them. luminescence is a good one by him and rural boys watch the apocalypse will always be a favorite of mine.

i also love dante émile (@orpheuslament) forever and ever their work is so great. the second coming... oh gosh. y'know

i will ALWAYS recommend finding trans poets for a little bit of that visceral feeling of being Seen. it hits every time. sending love best of luck to you and i hope you have a great day :)

#ask #not poetry #bracken when he answers an ask with several unprompted paragraphs. sowwy #if you all want to read gravity with certainty of accuracy and ease of access i'll type it up from my physical copy of it :)#i have it in the outlaw bible of american poetry #which i bought because i happened to open it to that page. and read that poem.#and it stuck with me so much that i went back and bought the whole book for it. anyway

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wiredalienvampire · 1 year

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My Thoughts on Retinal Bloom!

I finally listened to Liz Lehmans new album after eagerly waiting for it for so long, I listened to it twice actually. And I'm gonna talk about what I thought about it because wow,I have a lot to say on this album.

To start off, I loved it,like I really really enjoyed listening to it. When Liz released magic hat early back in March (I think) I was immediately sold on their new project.

But what I noticed when listening to it and seeing what the album cover looked like,I knew this was going to be way more different from their past works, admittedly, I couldn't help but be conflicted about it after being so used to the synthpop/bedroom pop music they made, but I couldn't help but admire that they were going to be more aesthetically experimental with their music and I was on board none the less, also magic hat was a banger, and it was a new tsj album, you know I was gonna by hyped no matter what. I followed the release to retinal bloom so closely for a while, listening to the early releases of the songs of the album and reading the articles they premiered in.

And I honestly wished I pre-ordered the vinyl and cassette tapes,cause my excitement for the album was So worth it, hands down.

For starters, the world ethereal comes to mind when listening to this album, it has such a spacey and dreamy feel to it unlike any other tsj album which had a more child-like,nostalgic and zestful feel to it, Since Liz was going for a more psychedelic pop kind of direction with their album. And with this album also being said to be more personal, dealing with liz's struggles and their experiences with the real world, it also has a more darker and even dreadful tone, especially once you get to "forever in you" . I really like how the melodies are more mellow and melodic, like with how "riptide" has this fluid harmony to it that I can't properly describe. I also noticed that the lyrics are more poetic than their past works, usually they would be more of a combination of being metaphorical and literal, with Burn Pygmalion straight up having a narrative involving the relationship of Jeanie and Sylvia. It kinda makes alot of sense with the overall sound of retinal bloom being more abstract, and I really love that.

In terms of the songs,I have plenty of favorites, a few even stood out to me even.

Magic hat is just amazing, Uzumaki is really good, riptide is memorable, our murderous decent is a bop, forever in you is literally in my top 10 of favorite tsj songs of all time,liz has the voice of an angel, rage is weirdly comforting and retreat to celestial bodies... that.. that is the song that stood out to me most in RB, unlike every other song in the album, its only an instrumental, no lyrics, and it polarizes you and the song has a moody,noisy and even slightly depressing tone to it, and when combined with the rest of the album, it gives of this feeling of dread and lonliness, but in an oddly comforting way as the song slowly and quietly ends, its kind of my #1 favorite song in this album.

The few complaints I have (which are not much tbh) is that some songs feel like they go on for a little too long and while I do like pathogenesis, it is my least favorite, it's not a bad song by any means,it's a good song, but I feel like the melody can get a bit meandery in some parts.

But overall,i loved retinal bloom, its a genuinely great album and while I do perfer the older tsj albums,it's mainly due to preference and well I have listened to those albums so many times and got attached to them eeeeee. That aside, I'm would like to thank Liz lehman (and even Angel Marcloid)for making this lovely album, their work has meant so much to me and helped me go through the darkest moments of my life and if you haven't listened to retinal bloom yourself pls do.

TLDR: retinal bloom is a great album and I really wish I pre-ordered it and I'm upset at myself for not doing so sooner

#i know this post is probably incoherent but i didnt know how to properly organize my thoughts #the scary jokes #retinal bloom #*ramble txt #i didnt expect this to get so long i just wanted to ramble about music i like and made an essay oh dear-

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straighttohellbuddy · 1 year

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HELLO SO THAT FIC U POSTED???? CHANGED ME FOREVER. I relate to that other anon deeply my brain chemistry will never be the same. it frankly hasn't been the same since the fic was just snippets you posted abt once in a while and now it's posted and it's A 25K DELIGHT AND I JUST---- *SCREAMS**SQUEALS**CRIES*

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW PRESENT IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE FOREVER KQMCLWKFS I'm dying. reader is great her thing with Wilbur is great I am screaming and crying and Oh My God thank u for sharing it w us I am. /SCREAMING./

no but genuinely I've been grinning and letting out like. fickin SQUEALS for over an hour kqmflsjxkalck like I'm so glad and happy I got to read it istg. u have SUCH a way with words?????? and characterisation??????? and like. developing relationships hello????????? I am in shambles. every once in a while I return to ur writing bc it's just So Good and now I got to do it thru this fic I've been excited for for the last????? TWO YEARS I THINK. idk how long it's been but it's been A WHILE so thank u thank u thank u thank u not only did it live up to my expectations it also absolutely went over them. thank u genuinely you've made my past two years pretty much. for the last however long there hasn't been a week in which I haven't thought abt reader and Q's interaction (the snippet of ‘this is how it started the last time’) for at least an hour straight genuinely like. and haVING CONTEXT??????

anyway basically this is like a huge thing for me and I just thought I'd tell u that😭💕 like I hope u know your writing has been v important to me for a while, from what you love you devour to like. everything kinda but wylyd just struck a chord w me if that makes sense lmao and like. I would've totally gotten it if you'd lost interest but I'm glad u didn't and decided to share that absolutely amazing fic💕💕

(*25K*!!!! oh my god!!!!! I wasn't before either, but now I will literally never stop thinking abt it)

((THE GHOSTBUR STUFF WAS SO SWEET)) ((and heartbreaking in the most PERFECT manner)) ((and don't get me STARTED on Dream. and Q. and WILBUR OH MY GOD WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR-------))))))(and reader oh my god reader I will never shut up about reader)

I'm gonna rotate your message in my head like a microwave dish for the rest of my life I love you so much 💖💖💖 I've been meaning to answer this for days but I wanted to take the time to properly answer it because I'm going to ramble about this fuckin fic I hope you know!!

this fic means so so much to me and I'm so glad that I finally got it published, but also that I ended up publishing it like this, like I definitely could have added more but I think it would have ended up kind of bloated, and it's already such a huge fic 😅😅 the vignette style makes me feel like I'm getting snapshots of the important moments while still getting the sense of the reader having a life between scenes, and the rest of the dsmp plot still going on around them

I mean this so genuinely, WIPS are always In Progress, I never forget a fic, I still reread what I have of my Mafia!Corpse AU from 2019 and wonder what I should add next, same with the other like, 20 drafts I have. 😅😅 I hope they all get published eventually, but I feel very lucky to have come back to this and recognise that it's good enough to put out there ☺️☺️

but OKAY I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE READER'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME YELL !! im making this into it's own post because i literally wrote so much just talking about the reader and dream and i have so much to say about them and Q and WILBUR and i'll tag u xx i LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE THIS FIC IT STILL MAKES ME FERAL

#your local homosexual with no chill

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pollen · 2 years

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positive e/d/ recovery thoughts below the cut ft discussion of calories, exercise, and body image. numbers of calories are mentioned in the context of requirements and expenditure. please don't read if it's something that feels like it might be harmful to you at the moment

recently i've been like. seeing the progress of the last 4 months. i'm getting so solid and muscular, but a lot of it is quite distressing because of the loose skin i have from my weight loss, both for my dysmorphia and my general body image. and i'm really just getting to the point where i'm tired of stressing about food, especially because i know it's not something i want to do forever and instead i want to find sustainable balance in my exercise and food so i can live relatively worry-free while trusting my body and mind

and i know that to get the physique i want (because an aesthetic goal is still guiding my decisions about food and exercise, this is something that i don't know if i'll be ready to shake any time soon), i have to eat. and eat a lot. and the eating a lot will aid in looking leaner and i know this, like my body's still storing recovery weight because i was restricting for two years. the only way to recomp is to eat. so i've been doing research into how much i need for my height/weight/activity level even just to maintain, not even necessarily to gain muscle, and on all of the calculators i've used, my maintenance calories are above the 2000 mark. which is so normal but coming from a mindset of extreme, and i mean extreme, restriction? it feels like there's no way that could be true

but i exercise a lot. my performance lately has been so, so good. i'm so impressed with myself for how i'm handling both parts of my split. my endurance is incredible. i'm able to whip out sets of strength exercises that a year, two years ago, i never thought would be possible for me to do. on average, id wager my calorie expenditure for exercise alone is about 600 daily. of course i need to eat a lot to maintain my current weight

even my bmr sits at like 1500. that's just so bonkers. and i don't track my caloric intake exactly because it would probably not be great for me but i'd guess that i'm not even eating my bmr most days

and for the past week i've been making sure i get at least 42g of protein, which is half of my minimum for maintenance, and i feel so much less hungry. i think i'm at a place in my recovery where i'm confident that everything will balance out, and instead of seeing how little i can survive on, i'm so invested and motivated to see what would happen if i were to properly fuel my body

it's just been incredible. i haven't given into all of my hunger because i've been in a bit of a b/r cycle but i know from experience that on days where i am giving into my hunger, or when we go out for dinner and drinks, and i just eat whatever sounds good that nothing bad will happen at all. nothing at all. literally nothing will change. my anxiety around food is so much better. and i feel more at home in my body every day. and i feel stronger every day. and taking care of myself and making sure i get all of the energy and nutrients my body needs to continue performing at the level i feel best at is very strange after so long denying myself anything like this. idk. there's so much more room to negotiate than i thought. i have to clock in for work so post over but yeah idk! i'm just feeling good lately even though i have terrible terrible days still. just gotta trust the process y'know

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daythieving · 5 months

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log 221223

i've been so busy i haven't had time to journal. which is fine, not a lot has been bothering me recently. it was my girlfriend's birthday a few days ago which was super fun, i love her a lot and it was nice to see her so happy. i've given up on sobriety, which is pretty big, but honestly if anything it made me feel worse. which isn't really great within itself, but whatever. i tried. work's been killing me. my manager's always on my fucking ass. if anything i've honestly been too busy to really feel anything. i've been more mellow than outright sad these days, but at least it's kind of better. i kinda feel guilty all the time, and i'm not sure why or what about, but it's been weighing on me a lot. i get really avoidant with people because i'd rather not speak than try to have small talk. it's so stupid because usually this happens when i see someone i know out in public and i don't even know why i do it. not really much more to say about it. i've weirdly been missing scotland too lately, also not sure why. i think it's just that attachment to your homeland. i ache for the sea. living in a landlocked province blows so bad! i miss the atlantic and my uncle's house. it's making me super sad the more i think about it. i miss my grandmother's houses too. i was kept really far away from her when she passed away- not because of anything personal, just because of covid. i wasn't able to go to her funeral or go visit her before she passed away. it's really tough because she raised me growing up and there's a big open hole in my body where her home should be. we used to call her every sunday and now we just don't anymore. i never really got to process that correctly. it was worse seeing my mom grieving. i can't imagine what that's like, and i don't really want to. i never met my dad's mom, but we had a relative who was pretty much my grandmother on his side. i also didn't get to see her before she passed away. i sat in the car outside of the home she was in for hours by myself, because i might've stressed her out. i miss her backyard. it was gigantic. like, genuinely gigantic, with this huge courtyard and a path and big green bushes. why can't i go there anymore? i've never really experienced death properly. my papa passed away but that was a long time ago and i was too young to really understand. i mean, i knew it was sad and i missed him a lot but we'd been pretty distant anyhow. i don't remember what he sounds like. i'm scared i won't be able to remember what my nana sounds like one day. i'm scared i won't be able to remember what her attic smelled like, or all the trinkets she kept in her kitchen, or that her carpet was sage green. there was a berlin bear in the spare bedroom i slept in and there were clogs by the fireplace and the path at the front of her house was stony and covered in moss. what if i can't hold onto that forever? i miss her so much these days. she didn't see me graduate highschool and she won't see me graduate college. she'll never meet my wife and she won't ever read anything i'll write. what if i forget how to make a paper snake? i can't go back to her house. i won't ever go back to her house. isn't that unfair? i can still see her face but it doesn't look right when she smiles. why is it so difficult to see her smile again?

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televinita · 6 months

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Ten Random Books From My Physical TBR: Round 3

a.k.a. "a random number generator picks unread titles from my book catalog and I explain why I haven't read them"

(I just felt like playing again and saw this half-done in my drafts. still no cover images)

International Velvet - Bryan Forbes

Well, I have to read National Velvet first, don't I? (also I have just at this moment confirmed for the first time that this is a novelization of the movie, and was never actually a proper book sequel. Still wanna wait though since I assume it draws something from the original)

2. Forever Free: Elsa's Pride - Joy Adamson

For one thing, I've only read the first book in this trilogy of nonfiction about rewilding a lioness, and I probably need to reread that before I continue even to the second (and this is the third). Still, good stuff.

3. A Tale of Two Besties - Sophia Rossi

A young-end-of-YA novel about two incoming freshmen, 100% being saved for precisely when I want a bright, light-hearted story about high school freshmen. I've been in that mood before and it's harder than you'd think to find books that match. Publishers are mostly allergic to characters over 13 but under 16.

4. Moonrunner - Mark Thomasan

At this point I'm actually scared to read this Australian boy-plus-wild-horse book. I've owned its beautiful pristine self since 2010 or 2012, and it's been on my bookshelf in the original horse-book shelf all that time; my shelf will look wrong if I ever take it off but...what if I don't like it?? I mean, I'm sure I will...but what IF.

5. The Law of Loving Others - Kate Axelrod

I'm honestly not sure why I haven't read this yet; every time I pass it I'm like, oh yeah, that looks like a super-solid YA read, better than most of what I could find at the library these days...

6. Unwanted Girl - MK Schiller

Oh, this is a '23 acquisition and immediate albatross around my neck 'cause like, it's not going to be great, it's self-published, but because it's self-published I will never be able to read it again without buying it (for more than the $1 I already spent), and I am just intrigued enough by the way this summary pinged my brain with "solitary/reclusive writer-dude falls for his delivery girl, is drawn to help her when he learns she also wants to write a novel" (also there appears to be a bit of age difference, my immediate weakness). But it's gotta be cast properly, or the characters won't outweigh the writing. And so, we wait.

7. Elephant Bill - J.H. Williams

I read Bandoola in a college, which is a sequel to this; I'd like someday to read the original.

8. Sit! Stay! Speak! - Annie England Noblin

Woman inherits a house (and adopts a puppy), sold.

9. A Bird in the Hand and a Bear in the Bush - Judy Hughes

A 70s memoir of one of the earlier wildlife rescues, if I recall correctly.

10. Kessa - Steven Levenkron

Sequel to The Best Little Girl in the World, which I was obsessed with in my brief looking-for-(th)inspo days. I didn't know the sequel existed until I saw it a couple of years ago. I've lost most of my enchantment with the original and this looks meh, but curiosity compels.

#books on my tbr #cleaning out my drafts

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lovelystarks · 6 years

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I FORGOT TO READ OTHELLO

#o no #rip ill do it tomorrow when i have zero time because apparently gym is a class i cant keep dropping #still haven't done creative writing #or read my horror class shit #which i can do later because we're watching night of the living dead tomorrow so ????#also what is interactive media? idk but i need to by wednesday #posting abt homework is way better than doing it #i need to go do my homework now its 12:41 am which tbh isnt that bad considering ihavent slept normally in three months #it feels so much later #whats that michael jackson song where he's like annie are you ok #because thats stuck in my head #idk why i haven't listened to it in forever #BTW last semester my lit teacher was terrifying but now my IA teacher is worse like #she practically read and expanded on act 1 and 2 of othello for two hours BY MEMORY so fast i could barely take notes #also don't take a collage class because for some reason art teachers are elitist and must be avoided #im SORRY if i don't know how to GLUE THINGS PROPERLY i can barely READ #this is fun ill delete it tomorrow aka whenever i come on next because if i don't post itit doesnt feel like you're messaging a friend #if that makes sense #im also reading simon vs the homo sapiens agenda and its great but idk why but something is bugging me abt it and idk what it is #but a+#so far #im like halfway through #i should be writing this on my tumblr i made specificallly for books/school but i don't have anyone to ignore me there #like everyone does but not in the same way if that makes sense #it doesnt im finished goodbye time to write myself into embarrassment

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spencestyles · 3 years

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Instagram Girl (pt 2)

summary: you meet spencer’s team after finding out they’ve seen your instagram

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: none

words: 1k+

~~~~~~~~~~

y/u/n

liked by 5,823

you can't tell but our shoes are matching

comments

drreid: I told you to caption it "Matchy, matchy" but whatever, we're still cute.

penelope_meow: THIS IS SO CUTE I SHIP

y/u/n: @penelope _meow you must be one of Spencer's work friends, the technical analyst

"Spencer did your work friends find out about us?" you asked.

“They did, I guess our technical analyst-“

“Penelope,” you cut him off.

"Yes, Penelope, she saw that I commented on your picture, which I almost never do, and she looked at the post and then stalked your account," Spencer explained.

"Can I meet them now?" you asked, knowing yes would be your answer. Spencer never said no to you.

"There is a dinner at Rossi's tonight," Spencer said. "I was going to ditch it, but if you want to meet the team I can tell Dave we're coming."

"Yes we are going," you said. "I need to shower, I'll be out in like ten minutes."

In the BAU groupchat

y/n and I are coming to dinner tonight

Penelope: OMG FINALLY

Dave: Good! I made extra pasta!

Jennifer: I can't wait to meet her!

You walked out of the shower and saw Spencer smiling at his phone, "What are you smiling at?"

"My friends are excited to meet you," Spencer said.

"I'm feeling anxious," you said honestly. "What should I wear?"

"Wear that new black dress you got," Spencer said.

"Are you sure you want me to wear that?" You asked honestly. "I mean it is pretty scandalous for me to just be meeting your team."

"Derek has been making fun of me for being a virgin for years" Spencer explained. "I want them to know I have a sexy girlfriend that I sleep with nightly." You laughed and walked into your shared bedroom and changed. You walked out ready to leave.

"Spence, we should leave now," you said.

"Wow," Spencer began. "Maybe, you should change."

"Spencer Walter, I am not changing" you said. "I knew this was going to happen, I am not changing. Don't make a fool out of yourself. We are leaving." You were freaking out. You had never met Spencer's team and you knew they were going to be critical. They were his best friends.

You stepped out of Spencer car and looked at David's house, well mansion, "Wow."

"Just wait until you see whats on the inside," Spencer laughed. You walked up to the front of the house shaking. You were so nervous and Spencer also made you late. Spencer knocked on the door and you heard the noise from inside the house stop and people walking to the door. The door opened and six familiar people stood smiling at the door.

"Hello," Spencer said. "Team this is my girlfriend, y/n this is my team."

"Hi," you said softly as David took you inside.

"Can you guys not be so awkward, try not to scare her off. Jesus Christ," Spencer whisper-yelled at the team.

"Sorry Pretty Boy, but we are just excited to see Spencer's hot new girlfriend," Derek said.

"Don't call my girlfriend hot," Spencer said. "I know she is." Smirking, Spencer walked away to his girlfriend who was talking to Aaron and David.

"So y/n, Spencer told us you are a teacher," Aaron said.

"Yeah I'm an English teacher, I have a Phd in Literature," you responded.

"Spencer never told us you had a Phd," David said.

"I don't talk to many people about it, especially since I'm a high school English 9 teacher," you said quietly.

"Well, y/n, I have a seven year old, and he is not the best reader," Aaron began. "Maybe you could help him out."

"I would love to, but don't be too worried if he's not a strong reader, all kids read at different paces," you said feeling Spencer's arm around your waist. "Not everyone is Spencer Reid. I couldn't even read properly until I was nine, all the words were jumbled because I was so stressed about reading properly."

"Well lets eat," David said. "The pasta is going to get cold." You all walked over to the table sitting down. You sat between David and Spencer.

"So y/n," JJ began passing around a salad bowl. "How did you and Spencer meet?"

"Well we were guest lecturing at the same class," The team looked at you strangely. "Because of my background in literature, I helped sex crimes with a case that had to do with poetry." They nodded in understanding. "So we were lecturing and after the class we were talking because Spencer made this super silly joke about Romeo and Juliet, which thinking about it was a very strange dark humor. But I found it funny so I asked him to coffee and basically we talked about books and why a high school English teacher was helping the FBI." The team smiled.

"I'm glad he met you y/n," Derek said. "I haven't seen Pretty Boy this happy in a long time."

"Pretty boy?" you asked.

"It's a nickname I made up for him when he first joined the team," Derek said as the team snickered.

"So that must be why Spencer got super weirded out when I started calling him that," you said.

"No way, pretty girl calls pretty boy, pretty boy?" Penelope asked.

"Yes and no," you explained. "Now it is mainly a joke, but I do say it because it is very true." The team laughed while Spencer blushed profusely.

y/u/n

Liked by 5,759

finally got to meet spencer's work friends

comments

drreid: They love you almost as much as I do.

penelope_meow: YOU ARE AMAZING.

jenniferjareau: We need to have a girls night! SOON!

drreid

Liked by 102

pretty girl

comments

y/u/n: I love you

derek1118morgan: she almost may be prettier than you pretty boy

emily_prentiss: if you two ever end things let me know @y/u/n

y/u/n

Liked by 5,978

note to self: always let Jennifer Jareau pick out your outfits for brunch with the girls

comments

jenniferjareau: this fit >>>>

drreid: You look amazing as always

rossidave: Your Italian is showing

y/u/n

Liked by 6,423

spence finally got the guts

comments

drreid: Can't wait to spend forever and a day with you

aaronhotchnerBAU: Congratulations y/n, Jack and I are excited for you both

penelope_meow: You need to tell me all about it sunshine

jenniferjareau: Me too!

emily_prentiss: Me three!

y/u/n: Girls night tonight?

derek1118morgan: Congrats y/n, glad you said yes because I was hyping Spencer up all week

rossidave: Congratulations y/n, talk to me if you need help with planning the wedding. My back yard is a great and free space.

y/u/n

Liked by 6,003

this is the only photo from the bachlorette party that we have a decent amount of clothes on

comments

emily_prentiss: BEST NIGHT EVER

jenniferjareau: Never let me drink that much again

penelope_meow: I NEED to see those other pictures

derek1118morgan: So do I baby girl

drried: No you don't Derek

drreid: Hopefully it was your best last night out as a y/l/n

y/nreid

Liked by 6,543

happy

comments:

drreid: I love you

drreid: You looked absolutely beautiful today

#spencer reid #criminal minds one shot #criminal minds oneshot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x reader #arron hotchner #dad!spencer reid #spencer reid head cannon #spencer reid social media #social media #social media au

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polandspringz · 2 years

Note

Just wanted to drop here and say that I finished Lovely Complex and I am not saying it’s the superior og romcom anime but it is and i have never met a dumber couple and both of them are so dumb but I would die for them and in this essay I will-

GAHAHAH You had me scared for a minute because I read the "I am not saying-" and was like how but then I finished reading and YES IT IS!!!!

I first watched Lovely Complex back in 5th grade/2011ish, and it sounds corny but I actually remember the exact moment I saw it. My sister had an episode playing on her laptop while she straightened my hair the night before school, and I had watched anime before that, like Kimi Ni Todoke, Toradora, Kaichou wa Maid-sama, etc. but Lovely Complex was just different. It's actually the only anime I can say I've rewatched fully, at least five times. I know the entire soundtrack, I can mimic what the characters are about to do before they say/do it in an episode. I haven't done a full rewatch in a few years, but when I started to this month, I found that I still knew everything, and that's how deeply this series has been stuck in my brain, haha. (I forever think of the phrase "Bear Curry" and cry).

The anime covers so much per episode but yet somehow feels paced really well. Sure it moves fast, but the jokes are just as quick so it doesn't feel out of place. The way Koizumi and Otani's romance develops is done so well, I just love every story beat. The school festival, when she visits him while he's sick and the accidental kiss, her making him the snack for the basketball game and then falling asleep on his shoulder, THE FIREWORKS SCENE, the rush to the college exam, EVERYTHING. The only time I think the show dips is in the second cour when we have the love triangle going on with Koizumi's coworker because of a misunderstanding, but even in that drama I think some funny jokes come out of it (even if Otani is obviously hurt when he asks if she just goes after short guys).

It just makes me happy to see other people watch it is because the show is good. The biggest hurdles people have with getting into it I think is the comedy and the art style. The show is obviously very "loud" and although the jokes I feel are universal(?) I think it does have a very Japanese perspective on comedy, more slapstick- hell the whole show is built on the All Hanshin Kyoujin joke- which doesn't translate easily to beginners to anime. Also the art, although I love it, based on what my friends who failed to get into the show said, I think the reaction faces takes them too far out of the "pretty shoujo style" they like in romance anime. Which is part of why I really try to say that "I'll never drop/avoid a show because of the art style". I don't think its fair to discredit a great story just because you have stylistic preferences. Lovely Complex definitely leans more into the comedy than romance, which is why its art reflects that. The fashion in the show is also very Japanese 2000s, which I don't think a lot of people like either. Although for me, Risa deciding to become a stylist somewhat influenced me deciding to do fashion design at a young age.

I know for most people, their big three in early 2000s romance anime would probably be Kimi ni Todoke, Toradora, and then maybe Kamisama or Maid-sama as the third. However, I've always done my list with Lovely Complex in first place. It's somehow become very underrated in the present day anime community, and while it's definitely not a starter show (I have a whole separate essay just about how newcomers to anime from Tiktok are disliking shows because they're jumping into the new popular ones without being properly warmed up to them through older ones), it is one that I think everyone, especially if they like romance anime, should watch.

#i could write a better ACTUAL essay but i have 2 a c t u a l essays to submit by midnight tonight on fashion SO #this is what you get for now lol #sorry if u didnt want this to be a public response i just had many thoughts #lovely complex #lovecom #ask poland

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avewritesmr · 3 years

Note

hello hello, may i request an angsty seungcheol fic in which he’s the leader of a gang and reader’s a member and his boyfriend? the two get into an argument because cheol’s overworking himself and starts screaming at him (ib your reaction lol) and reader wants to cool off so he doesn’t say things he’ll regret and runs some errands? cheol is very regretful but he can’t go after him because of work... and then reader comes back bloody and bruised after running into a group from their rival gang? just lots of angst with some fluff please... sorry for this long ask lmao

Prompt: Mafia boss Seungcheol gets stressed and angry

Word count: 1721 words

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Male!Reader

Group: Seventeen

Genre: Angst, Fluff

A/N: I loved writing this so much mostly because I love writing Seungcheol so much, it took me forever to write and I am sorry for that I am also sorry that the writing just isn't that great but I hope you'll like it anonie 💖

"You need to give yourself a break Cheol, you haven't slept in days at this point, you won't be getting any more productive and your decision making process will be just flawed." y/n said desperately trying to get Seungcheol to get of his laptop and into bed.

Seungcheol froze in his work and then slammed his laptop shut getting up from his chair and turning to glare at y/n.

y/n flinched slightly at the look his boyfriend was giving him but tried his best to stay as calm as he could. Getting angry at this point wouldn't help anyone, even if Seungcheol could control his temper well on most days his self control wasn't as effective when he was sleep deprived.

"You think my decision making is flawed?" if it wasn't for the glare on Seungcheol's face and his tense shoulders y/n would have said the question was asked from a place of genuine concern.

"I don't think your decision making is flawed, I think someone exhausting themself with work and not getting any sleep makes their good decision making bad because they can't think as clearly." y/n replied softly trying to move closer to Seungcheol.

A hand shot out and held him back by his shoulder stopping his well intentioned desire to comfort Seungcheol.

Seungcheol's fingers were digging into y/n's shoulder almost painfully his head was bowed making the expression on his face impossible to read. If y/n wasn't worried before he was worried now.

"You don't respect my authority, you think just because I care about you enough to call you my boyfriend that you can undermine my authority and how we operate here." Seungcheol's voice was strained and thick the anger in his words clearly evident, y/n's breathe was becoming shallow as he listened to the words coming out of his boyfriend's mouth.

After a moment of silence y/n opened his mouth to reply but before he could say anything he was cut off by Seungcheol pushing him back and moving around him to head to the door.

"Don't think just because you're you that you get to undermine and disrespect me, I will punish you in the same ways that I punish everyone else here when they slack off, you aren't special." Seungcheol said before leaving the room letting the door slam behind him.

y/n felt tears pricking at the back of his eyes and he sank into the seat that Seungcheol had vacated. He took a few deep breathes rubbing his chest to try and alleviate the tightness that was beginning to grip at his lungs.

He knew realistically that every couple had their arguments and when emotions were high strung the people involved were bound to say things that they didn't really mean. Seungcheol was stressed dealing with rival gangs encroaching on his territory and a rising number of injuries among his members, he hadn't slept properly in weeks he wasn't thinking of what he was saying when he was saying it.

y/n sighed, it felt like he was just making excuses for Seungcheol's behavior when the reality of the situation was that he was trying to help his boyfriend and all he got was disrespected and his feelings hurt.

Letting another sigh fall from his lips he glanced at the time on his phone and decided to get ready to go out with a few of the others in a group to run a errands he had been putting off.

He had a sinking feeling in his stomach but chose to ignore it, this unease was probably just from the fight he had had with Seungcheol a minute ago.

To Seungcheol this was a statement, a threat to get more violent if he did not respond to requests for sit downs and negotiations with his rivals over territories.

Seungcheol sat back and waited on a list of the names of the members injured and the extent of their injuries. His response would have to be fitting of how the attack took place, he couldn't be rsh about this and as much as he hated to admit it y/n had been right in his reasoning that Seungcheol's decision making was being hampered by his lack of sleep or rest and the extensive amount of stress he was undertaking.

"I have the list of the injured and their injureies, there is something you should know though." Jeonghan had sat down in the seat opposite Seungchoel a file clasped firmly in his hands.

"I want to see the names first, then we can discuss other things." Seungcheol replied moving forward to take the file.

"No," Jeonghan had moved the file away his shoulders tense and jaw clenched, "this is important you need to listen to me."

Seungcheol frowned, was everyone today intent on breaking protocol and getting under his skin? He was sure that whatever it was it must have been very important however because Jeonghan very rarely ever broke protocol with Seungcheol.

He leveled the other male with a hard stare before leaning back in his chair to indicate that Jeonghan could talk.

Jeonghan took in a deep breathe placing the file down on the table before he started speaking, "One of the people who was attacked was y/n, he-"

Seungcheol felt his blood run cold when he heard the name uttered, he could see Jeonghan talking but couldn't hear him over the sound of pounding blood in his ears, in an instant he had moved from his chair to the door and was already making his way to the infirmary he hands clenched his footsteps fast. Jeonghan was following but Seungcheol payed him no mind as he re-played his last conversation with y/n in his mind like a broken cassette.

The guilt that hadn't set in before was carving a hole in his stomach now and his hands were shaking with fear, no matter what he pretended he could not pretend to be brave in a moment like this, in a moment when he didn't even know if the person he loved most in the world was severely injured because try as he might he couldn't follow any of the words Jeonghan was speaking to him.

When Seungcheol had walked into he stopped dead in his tracks unsure where he would find y/n, Jeonghan's reassuring hand came up to his elbow guiding him towards a private room at the back.

Jeonghan opened the door to the room guiding Seungcheol in and muttering something about waiting outside before he closed the door leaving Seungcheol trying to catch his breathe and control the tears he felt were coming.

Seungcheol stood staring at the pale figure of his boyfriend for what felt like an eternity before he slowly moved closer to the bed y/n was sleeping on. He let out a breathe he didn't realise he had been holding and lightly traced over a bandage on covering the left side of y/n's jaw.

Seungcheol sank into a chair next to the y/n's lifeless form and tried to hold back tears that were blurring his vision.

To think that this could have been worse, that he could have lost y/n after having been so awful to him. He could feel exhaustion from the last few days setting into his bones making his body ache in ways he didn't know had been possible.

Seungcheol took y/n's hand in his trying to be gentle, he was trying to think of ways he could make it up to y/n when the other woke up. He needed to apologise but there weren't enough words in the world he felt.

Words were too simple to express the deep sorrow he felt in his bones for having been so rude to his boyfriend, for disrespecting him and shunning him because his ego and pride were too great for his own good.

He sat there with y/n's hand pressed to his lips for longer than he could remember, anything that had taken priority in the last few days now a vague shadow at the back of his mind, all that mattered was this, making sure y/n would wake up and heal. To see the cuts gone from his face and the cast taken of his arm.

Seungcheol started when he felt y/n's hand move to lace his fingers with Seungcheol's.

He looked up to meet y/n's eyes and felt tears welling in his eyes anew. Seungcheol was out of his seat in an instant pressing soft kisses into y/n's hair, muttered apologies falling from his lips, mixed in with thanks to god and small sobs.

y/n's hand that held his seemed to squeeze tighter with each kiss and apology, had Seungcheol been more aware he would have noticed the tears that were escaping y/n's eyes.

Seungcheol only stopped when y/n's fingers unlaced from his and moved up to pull him in for a kiss.

Seungcheol could taste the salt from both their tears mixing on their lips. When he pulled away y/n was giving him a soft smile and Seungcheol sobbed harder than he had been earlier, sinking back into his chair and letting y/n run his fingers through his hair.

"I won't ever leave you." Seungcheol looked up as his tears started calming down, y/n's voice was strained and raw, "I will never leave you." he repeated himself.

Seungcheol took y/n's hand into his again pressing his lips to each finger in turn.

"I will stay with you forever, it will be us, for as long as you will let me."

Seungcheol swallowed the lump in his throat to reply the only way he knew how to reply.

"Forever." y/n was always better with words than he knew to be, "I am so sorry."

What had happened was forgiven, from now on they only had to heal.

A/N: IDK if anyone caught on but I recently read both the Iliad and The Song of Achilles, so there are ✨Patroclus/Achilles✨ vibes 🌈mixed in there towards the end, I honestly think I had too much fun writing this even though it is kind of shitty.

#kpop #kpop x male reader #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop x gender neutral reader #male reader #seventeen #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #seventeen x male reader #seventeen seungcheol #seungheol x male reader #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol angst

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aphrostarot · 3 years

Text

Future Self Pick a Pile

What does your future self have to say to you?

Remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Do not try and force it to fit. If you would like a personal reading I am currently offering free readings. Dm me if you are interested!

Pile One (Fuchsite):

Who are you currently?

The Chariot:

You are constantly striving to achieve your dreams. Constantly on the move, never stopping for anything. You are extremely strong-willed and fearless. Despite not yet fulfilling all your dreams, you are confident nonetheless.

What does your future self have to thank you for?

Temperance:

Since you are constantly striving for success, you don't have time to strive for happiness. You instead live a life of contentment. This is good. The degrees of happiness fluctuates, but contentment is a state of equilibrium, which means there is less risk of things going wrong. Your future self wants to thank you for this. Your constant state of equilibrium has helped you become who you are meant to be.

What does your future self want you to focus on?

Emperor:

Emperors are in charge, and they are surrounded by people who listen to what they have to say. Your future self says that you need to focus on taking charge and being in control. Your future self is showing me that you are in a position of authority and that you should practice being a boss now in order to improve your leadership skills for the future.

Page of Swords:

The Page of Swords is a signal that someone in your life does not have your best interest at heart. They are spying on you in order to feed the people who do not like you. Your future self wants you to pay attention to this, to concentrate on finding out who it is; if you know who it is then you can either try to free yourself from that person or fix the relationship. Note that this person does not have to be literally in your life; they can also be someone who follows you on social media.

What does your future self want you to cut out?

Ten of Pentacles:

From the energy I feel coming from you, I get the impression that you are a person who, yes, keeps moving toward their dreams of success, but you are also always changing what you view as successful. You never stop to realize that who you are right now is who your past self never dreamed you could be. You need to realize that your future self does not recommend this mindset. It's important to slow down and realize what you've accomplished.

Some advice your future self has for you:

Queen of Wands (reversed):

If the Queen of Wands is reversed, it indicates someone who is demanding, vengeful, jealous, selfish, and a bully. In your life, perhaps you know someone like this, and your future self wants you to let this person go since you know deep down that this person isn't healthy for you and shouldn't be in your life, so now's the time to do so. Some of you don't know who this person is, which means that your future self wants you to know that if you don't heed their advice, you will become this person.

Oracle:

Storm:

Every hurricane has an end, says this card. Your future self is telling you that you should maintain your equilibrium and not stress too much about whether you will succeed or not. If anything bad happens in the future, your future self wants you to know that you will get through anything that comes your way.

Shark:

In this card, the message is that you need to get out of this situation quickly. When you hold the mentality that you are constantly striving for success, you will never allow yourself to slow down and realize that where you are now is what your past self could never have imagined.

Pile Two (Amethyst):

Who are you currently?

Eight of Wands:

Currently, you are highly motivated to achieve your goals, and you aren't afraid of change. You are moving through life very quickly. Your motivation comes from your excitement about what lies ahead. Additionally, you may have noticed that your communication has been much better lately than it has been in the past. You're more motivated to write, post on social media, and respond to emails.

What does your future self have to thank you for?

Queen of Swords:

This Queen doesn’t let anyone walk all over them and everyone around them knows where they stand with them. Those are the qualities that define you. Being an advocate for yourself and making sure you are treated properly are two of your strengths. Your future self wants to thank you for that.

The Lovers:

Given that you know what kind of treatment you deserve, it makes sense that you love yourself. The most important thing is to love yourself. In your eyes, if no one likes you, then it is okay because you love yourself. Because you give yourself that kind of love, you know what kind of love you deserve. Your future self wants to also thank you for that.

What does your future self want you to focus on?

Ace of Cups:

Since you know what kind of love you deserve, you refuse to settle for less which is great, but you have reached a point in your life where you believe no one will ever be what you need, so you have stopped looking. Your future self wants you to start looking again because there is someone out there that will give you the love you deserve. According to the energy I'm receiving from them, you will find someone one day who makes you happy and loves you the way you deserve. They don’t want you to give up on love because you may miss out on this.

What does your future self want you to cut out?

The Sun:

Presently, you think that only you can make yourself happy, and that is not a healthy way to live. Let other people make you happy because that's what your future self wants. It is not necessary for you to be the only one in your life. It is okay to let others in.

The Well:

This goes along with The Sun. Taking care of yourself does not necessarily mean you're the only one doing it. It's okay to let other people into your life. It is okay to let other people care for you.

Some advice your future self has for you:

Eight of Cups:

Your future self wants you to let go of the idea that you only have you in your life and that is how it will always be. They want you to accept others into your life, accept love from others because others can give you the love you deserve it doesn’t have to always be you.

Two of Pentacles:

They want you to have a sense of balance in your life. Although you have been alone for so long and that is what makes you happy, there may still be a part of you that hopes someone will break through your walls and make you happy. The problem is that you never allow anyone into your life, so this never happens. According to your future self, you need to find balance, and the best way to do this is to slowly let people into your life.

Oracle:

Feast:

This card urges you to slow down and enjoy your life. You've been living life so fast and focusing on making yourself happy that you haven't realized how much you have accomplished. You are constantly on the move trying to fill the void that you do not realize how much you have accomplished for yourself. It is important to your future self that you slow down and acknowledge how far you have come.

Escapist:

This card's message is to come home to yourself. You have been running for so long trying to fill your void that you don't even realize where you are now. Take a break from that constant running and recognize that you don't have to fill that void constantly by running, but taking a break can fill it too.

Pile Three (Amazonite):

Who are you currently?

Five of Pentacles:

Currently, you are going through a very dark period. There have been many sudden losses for you, and this has made you very depressed. The last few months have been tough for you and you haven't felt like yourself because of it.

What does your future self have to thank you for?

Seven of Swords:

No matter what you've been through in your life, you've never let it stop you. No matter what happens, you continue to fight and stand your ground. As the card of betrayal, you may have had someone in your life who was not healthy for you, they did not treat you the way you deserved. Your future self wants to thank you for being so strong and overcoming all of your struggles.

What does your future self want you to focus on?

Knight of Wands:

The card of enthusiasm. Although your future self knows that you have endured a lot in your life, they say that now is not the time to give up hope because you will get through this. Your focus should be on finding enthusiasm for your life again, that's what they want.

What does your future self want you to cut out?

Seven of Wands:

The Seven of Wands is the card of fights. Someone in your life is causing you a lot of drama. You should cut this person out of your life, according to your future self. They say they are not healthy for you and that your life will be much better when they are not around.

Some advice your future self has for you:

The Sun:

It's time to find happiness again. The most important thing is to figure out what makes you happy right now and to allow yourself to feel that happiness because yes, you have been through a lot, but that doesn't mean you don't need happiness because you do.

Oracle:

Homeward:

This is the card that tells you to take yourself out on a date. To love yourself in the way that you deserve because you do deserve it. Take care of yourself right now. Do something that makes you happy. Do a self-care night, run a bath or shower, lather yourself up in some nice smelling lotion, and put some comfy clothes on. Watch a movie or tv show that you have always wanted to.

Sun:

The sun can always be painted back into your sky. It is up to you to discover and pursue your own happiness. It is not necessary to live in sadness forever. Remember that good mental health is a journey, not a destination. You can get through this, and there will always be things that make you happy. All you have to do is figure out what they are right now. Finding something new to make you happy will assist, it doesn't need to be what made you happy in the past.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot

Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

#tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a card #spirituality #divination #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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phonixa08 · 3 years

Text

A light in the Darkness

☾︎ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fantasy au, fluff, a lil bit of angst

☾︎ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Felix x reader

☾︎ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: slight mentions of murder

☾︎ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: As you made your way to your favourite place at night, just to enjoy the peaceful silence, you quickly realized that you weren't the only one with that plan.

☾︎ 𝐚/𝐧: This is my first attempt here on tumblr so I can't promise anything but I hope you enjoy either way!♡︎

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Stepping out of your house and into the night you breathed in the now slightly chilly air which was usually warm in the midst of day. Sneaking out in the middle of the night became a habit of yours. The night was just so peaceful compared to the busy streets at the light of day where everyone seemed to be chasing their time, the stress being visible on their faces. With the silence of the night and the stars twinkling above you, you felt at ease, like all the burdens just have been lifted off of your shoulders.

Sighing, you made your way to the place you always went to at night- a pond in the woods. It somehow holds a magical aura to you, the way the water glistened in the moonlight and the trees forming an almost perfect circle around it, it was your safe place.

Your figure wandered between the trees, the leaves and branches crunching beneath your feet with each step you took, as suddenly something made you stop in your tracks.

"𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑒𝑑, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝, 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒~"

Taken by surprise, you quickly hid behind the nearest tree, not wanting to be seen and startle them with your presence. What was this person doing here in the middle of the night? you thought, at which you smiled ironically coming to the realization that it was you, after all who always came to this place at ungodly hours. Deciding that you wanted to find out who's beautiful voice you just heard and because you couldn't hide here forever you carefully stepped out of your hideout but not without tripping over a branch, the noise being loud enough to signal the person that they weren't alone. Just great, I can't even walk properly without my face kissing the ground. "Who's there?" you heard a deep voice ask. Getting up from the ground and dusting off your jeans, you finally made your way to the pond.

Into your view came a boy around your age with blonde hair and dark eyes, his seemingly stiff posture loosened when he saw your "not - so-intimidating" silhouette approaching him. Even though you were a stranger, he could tell you meant no harm, let's just say this was his talent: reading people. In a way it was the same for you, not the reading people part, but you felt that you could somehow trust him. So you hoped your gut feeling wouldn't fail you, as you took a seat on the rock next to him. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on killing you." you joked, feeling the need to reassure him.

Although he had a sad look on his face, a small smile graced his prominent features as he eyed you. "I heard you singing, you know." you turned your gaze towards him. His eyes became bigger as a flash of embarrassment overcame his body. "I must've sounded so terrible, this is embarrassing." his words muffled because of his hands, covering his face. You on the other hand, looked at him, as if he grew another head "Are you kidding me? I hid behind that tree as an excuse to listen to your voice." Slowly he removed his hands from his face, looking at you in disbelief "Do you really mean it?" You gave him a small smile "I don't say what I don't mean. I really like your voice, I think it's unique, rare. It's deep but also very calming, like the sound of ocean waves." These words combined with the sincerity in your eyes made a blush creep up on the boy's cheeks. No one has ever heard him singing before, so this really meant a lot to him.

"I'm Felix." he held out his hand for you to shake. Smiling, you gently took it. "I'm Y/N." "So, what are you doing here if I may be so bold to ask?" he questioned. "The same as you, I suppose." Felix raised a brow "And that would be?" You shifted in your position, so your body would face him. "Running away from reality." You saw him turning his gaze towards the night sky. The moonlight highlighting his skin, making it glow and stand out from all the darkness around you. His freckles twinkling like the milion stars in the universe. He was beautiful, if you haven't realized it yet, you definitely did now. "Guess that makes two of us, huh." he whispered into the chilly air, letting out a sigh and you couldn't help but notice the broken tone in his voice. You stood up from the rock you've been sitting on and spread out a blanket that you stored in your backpack. As you laid down, you could feel Felix's eyes on you. "What are you doing?" a tint of amusement in his voice, as a smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. "Well, what does it look like? Might as well appreciate the stars when I'm outside." you deadpanned. Following your action, he laid down beside you. Turning your head, a grin appeared on your lips. A little company once in a while wasn't that bad.

After a while of just laying there and watching the stars shine in the darkness, your voice interrupted the calming silence. "I know I'm only a stranger you've just met and it's probably not my place to ask you that but... I've noticed the sadness in your eyes and something tells me that there's more to it. It's not something that can easily be fixed. So, if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you. But don't feel pressured, it's your choice after all." Felix debated if he should tell you what has been bothering him since he really couldn't make out how your reaction would be. This was a secret that needed to be kept as such and the boy was very aware of that. But he felt that he could trust you and honestly; he really wanted to get it off his chest. So, Felix sat up and took a deep breath "Promise me you won't freak out?" You just looked at him, confused as to why he would suspect that reaction from you but you gave him an assuring smile "I promise." The blonde stretched out his palm and after a few seconds you saw a pretty blue flame lighting up the darkness around you. It left you in awe and you couldn't believe what you were seeing.

There was a legend about an ancient folk called "Lumina", it's said they had special powers such as lighting up flames with their palms. They were superior in reading people-you could never fool them. The Lumina were an extremely peaceful folk, very empathic and loving, which made them stand out from the most people. Although you would think of these powers as a blessing, they were pretty much a curse. Other folks were jealous of the Lumina's perfection and used this, as a reason to murder them. That's why it's believed that the Lumina don't exist anymore.

Therefore, your amazement made itself visible on your face as you've realized that one of them was sitting right beside you. But instead of screaming out of shock, you slowly reached for his hand. "Can I? Is it gonna hurt me?" Felix quickly came out of his trance, stunned from your positive reaction. Shaking his head, he explained "No, it's only gonna hurt you, if I decide so." Touching the flame cautiously, you only felt warmth, it was truly intriguing. It warmed his heart, seeing how amazed you were. "You know, usually people are afraid of me and call me a monster if I show them my powers." You felt your heart shatter and looked him in the eyes, you could clearly see the pain in them. "Is that why you ran away?" you quietly asked. The boy nodded "It started when I turned 18. If I got too emotional my hands would form blue flames and hurt those around me, I had no control over it whatsoever. That's when I realized I wasn't normal, at first I thought something was terribly wrong with me. But after a lot of research-"" You've realized you're a Lumina." you ended his sentence.

With big eyes he stared at you "So you knew about them? There's almost no information, even in the internet." You nodded, a couple of hair strands falling out of place "Yes, but I love legends and this one is no different. So I've spent a lot of time doing research." You truly had the talent of surprising him, he has never met someone like you before. It sounded cliché, but right now, he thought you were one of a kind.

"Thank you for trusting me." you said. At which he only slyly grinned "Well, as a Lumina I can read people like an open book. Sooo-" you hit him on the shoulder. "You're a brat." The blonde fake winced and clutched his chest "Oww, right there." Before you could scoff at his antics, he quickly dropped his behavior, looking into your eyes and suddenly you felt numb under his gaze. "I also have to thank you." A few seconds passed before you spoke up, tilting your head. "For what, precisely?" He leaned in, his voice dropping a few octaves, whispering in your ear. "For being here."

Giving you one last glance, he stood up, dusting off his jeans, completely aware of the effect he had on you. "So, want to know more about my abilities or what?" Still in shock because of his duality, you blinked a few times as though by that your blush would go away.

Clearing your throat, you also stood up from the blanket, following him. "But only if I'll hear your singing afterwards." you pouted at him. "Whatever makes you happy." Felix responded while ruffling your hair.

#stray kids #felix lee #skz felix #oneshot #skz oneshots #fantasy #felix fluff #fluff oneshot #skz au #stray kids au #fanfiction #fanfic #fantasy au #fluff au #skz ff #stray kids ff #felix ff

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bmongmong · 3 years

Text

Chapter 10 - Change

Blue pill or red pill - Jungkook

Description: You're a young girl, who's a little bit introverted and afraid to be under everybody's eyes. You only have your best friend, but it's ok for you. You don't want to be popular and believe in minimal things. One day you meet a guy. Or two?

Jungkook x Reader

The imagines I used are not mine Credit to the owners

Jungkook's pov

It's been a few days now and I haven't seen y/n since the date night. I'm not mad at her. After all it's not the first time that my brother steals a girl from me. It actually happens all the time.

But this one was different. She made me feel some type of emotions, that I didn't even think they could exist.

That hurt me a lot. If she only would have told me.

Even now, I'm willing to listen to her. But I don't think I will believe her. It's not believing in her or no. I guess it's something else. But I don't know how to describe it.

It's really sad these days since y/n doesn't come to school and Rosé told me that she doesn't answer her text messages. She's planning on visiting her one of these days, without telling her. I think for now, is better this way. I think, it' would be too awkward if the two of us meet right away. We both need some time.

Honestly, I don't think I can face her.

Also my brother, Jungwook, seems different. Usually after stealing my girl, he would tease me for forever. But after that morning in class, when Rosé was that angry, he didn't do anything to me.

Perhaps because I don't leave my room when I'm at home and when I'm in class I'm always by myself in a corner, like the beginning of school.

I think Jungwook noticed that this time it was different, for every single one of us. In the past I've never really had feelings towards those girls. But this time I really fell in love with y/n. That's why it hurts more than ever.

I'm in my room now, and as I keep thinking about my life, I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in" I say.

I see Jungwook entering the room.

"You don't have to knock on the door. It's also your room" I say, now looking at the book I'm holding. I didn't even realize that for all this time I was reading a book, while thinking about all that mess.

"I prepared a sandwich. Here" my brother says putting that thing on my desk. And leaves right after, closing the door silently.

"What's wrong with him?" I question myself. He's strange. He's never done stuff for me. He also has never talked to me, if not for school stuff.

I slowly took the sandwich he made for me and look at what's inside, to see if he may poisoned it or not. It looks like a regular one, with a bit of salad, tuna and mayonnaise. I'm a bit hesitant at first, but eventually end up giving a big bite on it. it's actually good!

I smile a bit at my brother little present. I know it's only a sandwich, but it's actually the first gift I've ever received from him.

We don't hate each other. We just disagree with everything.

Another day has passed and now it's Thursday morning.

Y/n didn't show up at school today. Again. I think she won't come until next week at this point.

Now we're waiting for the teacher to come inside the classroom, but I start to feel a bit hot. I try to make some wind with my hands in front of my face, but I keep sweating. I suddenly choke on my spit and start coughing hard.

"Here" I hear Jungwook voice. I turn to face him and he's handing me a bottle of water. I quickly grab it and start drinking right away, to make myself calm down and be able to breath properly.

"T-Thanks..." I say surprised by his actions and hands the bottle back to him.

"you can keep it" he says, now looking at his notebook.

Everyone is looking at me and Jungwook shocked. My jaw drops. What? It's the first time ever he talked to me in front of our classmates. I guess everyone else is surprised about this, as I see their widened eyes and mouths opened.

I try not to think too much about this and keep doing the lesson.

As the class ends I feel someone calling my name:

"Jungkook, I didn't understand this part of the lesson. Can you explain it to me real quick?" it's Jungwook again. he doesn't look at me. His eyes are focused on his notes, in particular on a specific line at which he's pointing is finger at. I nod, but before explaining it to me, I look up worried, to see everyone looking at us again.

What's happening to him? Since when did he start studying?

Before leaving the classroom, I grip on Jimin's arm, hinting him that I needed to talk to him.

"Do you perhaps know what happened to my brother?" I ask a bit unsure of his possible answer.

"I honestly don't know Jungkook. Both me and Rosé were so shocked, when we saw his behavior today. I don't really know what got into him. But I guess it's better now, that he gives you some respect" he says patting my shoulder and leaves with his girlfriend.

Now I'm in my room, reviewing today's lesson, when...

"Jungkook!" I hear my brother screaming from downstairs "Come here please". Please? Did he really say 'please'? What is happening again.

As I make my way on the steps I see him on the couch, holding a pen and looking at a book, which is laying on his knees.

"Oh you're here!" he says enthusiastic "Come fast"

I quickly run to him and see him trying to solve a problem. As I look at the description, I notice that it's the homework that our professor gave to us. He's really doing homework?

"Did you hit your head or something?" I ask him confused.

"If you don't want to help me, you can go" he says to me. I slowly sit next to him and start explaining everything.

Once I'm done with my explanation, I hear him saying:

"Thanks brother" and going upstairs in our room. He's really strange. Not that I don't like this, but I think that there's some reason behind his behavior.

In a blink of an eye, it's Friday morning. I'm changing into my clothes and getting ready to go to school. After preparing all my stuff, I go downstairs to eat breakfast and I find Jungwook eating.

"I prepared some pancakes for both of us. Want some?" he asks me. I'm a bit hesitant but eventually end up sitting in front of him and trying the dish he prepared.

"It's really good!" I say widening my eyes and looking at him. And at that moment I freeze.

Is he really smiling at me? I mean, he smiled even before, but this time it's not one of his evil smiles or grins. I'm literally speechless. Did I really do something to him? I don't know if to be happy of afraid.

"Good, now I'll change into my clothes. I'll meet you at school" and with that he goes into his room.

I'm literally shocked.

Now I'm in class. It has already passed an hour and y/n hasn't shown up yet. This makes me feel sad a bit.

"Jungkook" I hear Rosé calling my name, so I turn to face her "I forgot to tell you that yesterday I went to y/n's house, to check on her" I can feel my eyes lighting up as I hear that name.

"How is she?" I ask a bit concerned.

"She seemed ok. She was wearing very baggy clothes. She said it was because she wanted to be comfortable around the house. But from her face I could notice that she lost a bit of weight. A part from, that she seemed fine"

I'm a bit revealed to hear that actually. I mean, after all I still love her. This feeling won't go away, but on the other hand I don't want to go back to her after knowing that she kissed my brother. Everybody says that it was Jungwook who first kissed her, but my brother didn't say so. After all there were only him and y/n at that moment, so anybody doesn't really know how things went. Except for Jungwook and y/n.

Who should I trust? My brother? The one who made my youth like hell? Or Y/n? the one who stole my heart and right after broke it, lying to me?

As I think about these questions, I notice that the professor is testing my brother on the problem I explained him yesterday. I don't know why, but I want him to get a good mark. As he writes on the white board, it seems that he got my explanation and that he understood the problem.

"Great Jungwook! Now you can go to you seat" says the professor after a while.

All eyes are glued on Jungwook, as he walks towards his chair and sits. I also look at him and I see him forming a kiss with his lips and looking at me.

What was that? Everybody are now looking at me, and I'm blushing really hard. Like what the hell? Am I really blushing because my brother just sent me a flying kiss? What is happening really.

Now I'm in my room, with my brother. I'm at my desk studying and he's laying down on his bed, watching some videos with his phone. I don't know why, but I really like this sensation. The fact that we're both in the same room and I don't have to be nervous.

"AHAHAHHAHAHHAH" I hear him laughing hard "JUNGKOOK COME HERE AHAHAHAH"

I turn around and see him holding his belly and crying with laughter. I stand up and sit next to him, but I feel his arm around my shoulder and he makes me lay next to him, still with his arm around me.

"Look!" he says smiling like crazy. He shows me a really funny video. As much as I try to hold in my laughter, I explode and laugh with him.

I feel so happy right now, it's the first time I laugh like this with my brother. I don't want this moment to end.

We ended up watching funny videos all day long and laughing together, him still with his arm around me.

By the end of the day I look at him and realize how much time we've wasted over some useless and random fights.

And that's how we ended our day: laughing like crazy and holding each other.

A couple of days has passed and now it's Monday morning. I spent the rest of the weekend having fun with my brother, watching funny videos and studying together. I still don't know why he's changed so drastically, but I don't want to know. I'm afraid that if I ask him, something bad will happen. So I'll leave things like this and enjoy these precious moments.

Another class just started everyone looks shocked as I ask Jungwook to go shopping with me today. And they freeze even more after they hear my brother saying yes to me.

After classes, we headed to buy some clothes right away. I asked Jungkook for some advices. I wanted to try some new styles.

Now I'm in the changing room trying on other clothes, when I hear my brother saying:

"Wow Jungkook. You have a really nice body!"

I turn around seeing him looking at my body and quickly cover my self in embarrassment, looking away blushing. He insists to see my body and once I give in, he keeps complimenting me more. He's talking about how good my abs look and about my pumped chest and arms. It's not that I do much, I just some random exercises when I'm alone.

"Great, now you have a whole new wardrobe!" Jungwook says holding a couple of bags full of new clothes.

"Jungwook" I say firmly "Why did you change all of a sudden? Not that I don't like the situation right now, but I'm really curious. Please be honest" as I ask him that question I see his big smile becoming small.

"It's just..." he says looking down "I just think that we had no reason to fight over stupid things" he the continues with a sweet smile. It doesn't seem like he's faking it or forcing it. It rather seems like it's the truth and that there's something else, but I don't want to ruin our relationship, so I won't ask until he's fully ready.

Now we're back home and I'm putting my new clothes in my closet. Jungwook is helping me and in the meantime and he's singing a sweet and romantic song. The words he's singing reminds me of y/n. It hurts a little. No, very much. It really hurts like hell.

Why do I still feel this way towards her, even after what she did to me? Or maybe she didn't mean to cause all of this chaos. She lied to me, I get it, but for some reason, I've already forgiven her. Unconsciously.

Me and my brother decided to watch a horror movie. We're not afraid of these kind of movies, but I have to be honest, we both really hate jump-scares. Speaking of that, one of that comes right after and we both jump in surprise.

I find him hugging me tight and I freeze, without knowing what to do. His head is now resting on my chest and his arms are around my body. after a couple of seconds he slowly looks up at me and we lock eyes. It's actually really awkward but funny at the same time. I burst out laughing.

"AHAHAHAHAHAH THE STRONG JUNGWOOK IS AFRAID OF A MISERABLE HORROR MOVIE" I say laughing and teasing him.

"That's not true!" he shouts back at me, making me flinch and become serious.

We're looking at each other. Him mad because of my teasing and me scared that I may ruined our relationship, until...

"Pff" I see him laughing a bit and then we both burst out laughing again and holding each other.

The days went by pretty fast and I really enjoyed my time with my brother. We really became close and talked about everything. Y/n didn't show up once and now I really miss her so much. I think this feelings towards her, will never go away. A part from that, things were going great, until Friday.

We're in class right now and I'm talking to Jungwook, explaining him another math problem.

"You need to do this, in order to solve it" I say.

"Ohh I see"

Now I'm used to everyone staring at us. I mean, as long as I'm happy with him, nothing else matters, right? I still think that there's something more behind his sudden change , but I don't really want to make him angry or sad, so I just stick with this and keep my doubt.

As the class ends, I start to think about y/n, again. maybe I should go and visit her. Or maybe she doesn't want to see me. Right. Wait, what? She's the one who lied to me, so it should be me the one that doesn't want to see her. But why do I feel this way? Is she really the right one for me?

I kept questioning myself the whole day, until 4 PM.

"Jungkook!" I hear my brother calling my name "I'm going to hang out with Jimin and Rosé. Do you want to come?" he says smiling brightly.

"No, I think I'll stay at home today. I'm really tired, I think I'll sleep a little"

"Oh..." I see him a bit sad "ok, make sure to rest well!" he then says, showing me a sweet smile.

He left, and now I'm alone in my room. I stayed in bed all day, thinking about my brother and y/n.

Now it's 8 PM and it's really dark outside. My brother will come home at any moment, so I'll prepare something to eat for both of us. I grab my phone and head downstairs. I open up the fridge and look what's inside. I see a bag with some steak in. As I take it in my hands, I remember the date with y/n and when I fed her a piece of the same steak. I smile a little at the memory, but then I feel a tear leaving my eyes. It keeps hurting even more than before. I really like her. No, I love her. Everything she does.

I hear my phone ringing and as I take it out I rub my eyes, making my tears disappear and then look at the screen. It's my brother.

"Jungkook, come to the hospital! Now!" he shouts. He seems out of breath, like if he ran.

"Why? What happened? Are you ok?" I ask really worried.

"I'm ok" he says and I sight in relief "But Y/n is not"

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