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bbno$ and Charlie "BigMoist" Cr1tikal collab was not on my bingo card but damn if the vibes aren't immaculate
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is it too much to expect? that i would name the stars for you?
A/N: 1151 words. No Love Interest specified, but he/him pronouns for the L/I. No pronouns specified for the reader. This came to me very suddenly and I’m not quite sure what it is. Part imagine, part meta, part think piece about the nature of rpf x reader imagines. It’s a love letter to the genre, it’s a love letter to the poet Richard Siken, who’s quotes I’ve taken and sprinkled throughout, it’s love letter to you. I don’t remember when I started writing x reader fics, all I remember was that I needed to feel loved, and I put out my work in case someone else needed to feel loved too. (also this was definitely written and posted within a single hour)
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You find him in a coffee shop.
You find him through your screen.
You find he’s been your best friend this whole time.
You find him through a series of crazy random happenstances.
Over and over again you find him, and you love him. You learn to love him each time, from friendship, from hatred, maybe you’ve loved him all along, maybe in this new world, all you focus on is a moment, is a feeling, is the undeniable truth that is your love for each other. 
Sometimes he breaks your heart. Sometimes he can’t say the words you want to hear until the very last minute. Sometimes you spend so long denying your feelings that the words feel alien on your tongue.
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.
But you’ll find him again, and love him again, and suspend your disbelief, mould your self perception to fit this universe, to fit this character that he loves back, because they’re almost you, or similar enough that it’s not jarring, and you let yourself be taken along for the ride. 
You know that he loves you like he loves everyone who needs to feel it enough to be reading it, to be sharing it; a piece of understanding and comfort that you know is both yours and the world’s, but it’s okay. Loving them doesn’t mean he loves you any less, so you come back, time and again, and can hear him say it every time; I love you. 
You love him, yes, though in each universe you love the idea of him that’s been so lovingly handcrafted by the writers who love him too. This love is a shared experience; this love is something you need or want in the moment you’re searching for it. It’s not wrong to need love. It’s not wrong to want love. 
The enormity of my desire disgusts me. 
Because this world isn’t built from an authority, this world is built from love, from passion, from people just like you, and people are so self critical, so worried that people like them will not do the things they love justice. But you trust the writer. You let yourself fall in love, you let yourself be loved. Maybe you keep your mouth shut about it, maybe they won’t understand the rush of suspending your disbelief, believing, if only for a moment, that the people you look up to might see you as an equal, might see you as a something they could love too. 
Wish fullfilment comes in all forms; don’t be afraid to wish to be in love. I’ll tell you a secret; I wish it too.
I made this place for you. A place for to love me. If this isn’t a kingdom then I don’t know what is.
I’m overwhelmed with love, with desire, with the need to script a world in which the person who gives me comfort will comfort me specifically; will comfort you specifically. Worlds of words sprawl in my mind, over and over I see new ways to hear the words I need to hear; more than anything I want to share those worlds with you. What good is understanding that in another universe, he’ll love me, if I can’t show you that in that universe, and so many more, he’ll love you too. We are pack animals, scrambling and searching for love, for a safe place to store our heart, our feelings, so I will write worlds where you can feel human, and feel loved, and feel powerful in equal measure.
I will write worlds where you are the star, where you are the object of desire, where he loves you, because each universe comes with an understanding, comes with a tweaked version of you, dear reader, so that you may find new things to relate to, new ways to fall in love, with him, with yourself. That rush of first love over and over again; that safety of a secure kind of love that comes from years of hard work, because sometimes you need that warmth without the build up, so I’ll give it to you for free. Here, I hand craft these worlds for you, so I suppose in my own way, I love you too.
Here is the part where everyone was happy all the time and we were all               forgiven -
And you’ll fall in love with more than just him, because these worlds are populated by friends and found family who you will grow to love too, because your life does not depend on romantic love, because you are worthy of more than just romantic love, you are worthy of a circle of people who understand you. Find allies in your idols time and time again, each universe has a new way to connect to them.
The worlds I write may not always be kind, for the world itself is not always kind, but the people who matter will love you, will understand you, and you’ll hold your own against the world because you are strong. 
You deserve love. You deserve a world where you can see as the object of desire by those you find desirable. I’ll write them for you; I’ll write my fantasies, let them become my legacy, and hope you understand the love I’m trying to put into words.
You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I say or love me back.
But please be kind to him, to the real him, be respectful; he has given comfort and given love, and given inspiration for all these worlds in which I can envision a version of him loving me, of loving you. 
Be kind to him, because I cannot imagine how terrifying, how overwhelming it would be to have a world that loves you, but that doesn’t respect, at least in part, that you are not the version that can love them all in return, in the way they deserve. He can appreciate us, so please, let’s appreciate him for who he is, and love the versions of him, the whole universes writers have been inspired to create just so he can love us in the way we deserve.
In the mean time, here; I know it’s not a lot, but I think it’s what you deserve. It’s the world. It’s his love. I made it just for you.
Who am I? I’m just a writer. I write things down. I walk through your dreams and invent the future.
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straighttohellbuddy · 13 days
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"Hello I'm ..... 50????" part 2 electric boogaloo indeed
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straighttohellbuddy · 19 days
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bruce and some little birds
part 2
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straighttohellbuddy · 21 days
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straighttohellbuddy · 21 days
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mr beast just cured me from being dead but he hates how i turned out so they didn't even upload the video about it
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straighttohellbuddy · 22 days
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How come no one’s talking about how Jerma came out?
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straighttohellbuddy · 25 days
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two years later and BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPIN MEAT is still the funniest thing that’s ever happened
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straighttohellbuddy · 28 days
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anyways something about when fall out boy said "Seems like the whole damn world went and lost its mind / And all my childhood heroes have fallen off or died"
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straighttohellbuddy · 29 days
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my fics are and always will be based on the (as is becoming more and more apparently aware) often fictionalised versions of themselves that content creators choose to share with the world, and remember - say it with me everyone - "Respectfully (or disrespectfully as the case may be) We Do Not Actually Fucking Know That Man."
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straighttohellbuddy · 29 days
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straighttohellbuddy · 1 month
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so if you don’t know what shifting is, a quick explanation is that it’s the idea that the multiverse exists and that you can transport your soul into a multiverse where your favorite characters are real. It’s a whole thing and was hugely popular on TikTok in 2020+2021.
Anyway I am Not judging anyone or even about to comment on shifting in itself.
But there’s also a concept that you can “script” the universe you shift to and even pick your appearance while you’re there.
And in late 2021 I posted a cosplay video that got a fair amount of views and people kept tagging each other in the comments and saying stuff like “I’m faceclaiming her for next time I shift.”
Which I swear did not bother me I was like okay you funky kids.
But two people specifically started taking about using my face when they shift universes to date Draco Malfoy. And I was like man. Don’t use my face to kiss Draco Malfoy. Im begging you.
I didn’t actually say that in the comments mind you I just let them be.
So anyway a few months ago someone posted a video discussing that they were one of the main shifting influencers and they faked everything and they were just lucid dreaming the entire time. So as you can imagine, shifters were very upset to hear this
I made a single comment about this situation. Maybe two sentences. And people are. Very angry.
And now for months I keep getting comments on my TikToks that I’m too ugly to date Draco Malfoy. This is considered the ultimate insult to them, I believe.
“Trust me. Nobody wants that face dating Draco.”
They’re also mostly running K-Pop fancam accounts and I’m trying to figure out the Draco Malfoy K-Pop link but so far I’ve got nothing.
Idk where I’m going with this I just felt like other people should know that I’m currently K-Pop Draco Malfoy’s number 1 enemy.
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straighttohellbuddy · 1 month
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straighttohellbuddy · 1 month
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I've rewound this 5 times just to watch murphs reactions
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straighttohellbuddy · 1 month
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really strange how you can be almost at peace with something that happened to you but it will continue to be a defining moment of your life for the rest of your life. you wont think about it much anymore but in a conversation about a film someone will mention the year it was released and you’ll think to yourself, “that was before it happened” and you’ll see an old photo and think how strange it is to have existed before it happened and somehow it’s like living a life in two acts
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straighttohellbuddy · 1 month
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enamored lately with an asmr channel i stumbled upon on youtube that’s literally just a sweet korean lady pretending to give her enormous ragdoll cat (who she pretends is a famous and wealthy cat actress) extravagant spa treatments that are wildly, wildly overpriced (because the cat is rich)
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straighttohellbuddy · 2 months
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