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#we didn’t even get any songs from him this week which I get but still 😭
chaosinstigator · 9 months
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i can’t believe i have to go through another race weekend without danny
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brookheimer · 1 year
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#again this is all my fault i had a week to do this i just can’t seem to do any work unless the deadline is within like . 24 hours#otherwise i can’t get myself to focus or care#thanks brain.#the film one will be easy though i can bullshit it bc my profs give out B+ as the highest grade apparently so i should stop writing A papers#for them and just get the same grade for less work . unfortunately i love writing papers (even though i hate it) and can never actually#like phone in a paper like even when i try to i end ip getting into it by the end#i’m so bad at just being like yeah let’s write a B paper. i canyyyyttttyt ! which is so annoying bc i’ll get a B in this class anyways bc#it’s 300 ppl and they don’t read the papers they just give everyone a B+ so WHY DO I BOTHER#praying that for the first time in my life i write a mid paper on purpose and it takes an hour or so#then i can focus the next 12 hours on the paper i both want and need to do well on#well maybe not NEED like i’d prob get an A in the class if i got a B+ or even a B maybe on the final#but it’s my last class ever (transferring😬) with my favorite professor in the world . i have never gotten below an A- from him on a paper#and that was only in my first class w him like i’ve gotten all As since so i NEEEEED to go out w a bang. seriously. i like him too much not#to!!! it’s also a topic i’m rly interested in except also i still don’t actually know my thesis. i just have 20 pages of brainstorming and#research. don’t know what i’m doing w it yet tho#agggggghh#so mad at myself — went to bed at 7 FUCKING PM by accident bc i hadn’t slept in 40 hours and forgot to set an alarm for like 6 to try and#make up for all the work i didn’t do yesterday so now here we r. aaaagggggggh#sorry for the personal vent in the tags but this is my blog i can vent if i want to (to the tune of that one song)#i’m actually insane why am i subjecting myself to this. and even worse why am i (ADHD#depression insane) transferring to one of the like 20 schools in america that’s more academically demanding than the one i’m at rn. why am#i making things worse for myself.#except blah blah blah not really i’m fine academically and honestly except for finals (which is always just a procrastination issue w me)#cld provably use smth a little more demanding at times like i need classes hard enough to actually convince my brain that i need to do yhe#readings lolll like i genuinely always Want to do them bc they’re things i am honestly super interested in i just a) am so bad at focusing#and b) am Disturbingly good at bullshitting like i typically am one of the most talkative ppl in classes despite doing 1/2 or less of the#readings.. and like not even to get a participation grade. just bc i can skim it and immediately have things to say ab it#that’s why i won a like national award in high school for a paper on a book i didn’t actually read😬 except i had WANTED! to read it!#that’s the issue like. if u know u can bullshit something how do u get ur adhd brain to get the message that u actually want to read it#raAaagh ok personal rambling over o know it’s prob annoying bc like i Do do well in school n i am grateful i just wish i was healthier ab it
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theoreticslut · 2 years
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「 jealousy, jealously 」
eddie munson x henderson!fem reader
summary: you were a part of hellfire long before your brother and his friends got to high school, yet they fit right into the club while you get pushed aside. 
requested: no
word count: 6.4k
warnings: light angst, jealousy, brief arguing/raised voices, lots of fluff, kissing, fake gagging, few curse words
a/n: i apparently can’t write short fics for eddie, but i don’t think anyone is complaining about it. plus, i think the fics are freaking adorable & i’m highkey kinda proud of them. so i hope you continue enjoying them, as i’ve got plenty of ideas for him with more coming daily. if you’ve got an idea you’d like done (for eddie or any other st character) feel free to send it my way & i’ll give it a go. also, i couldn’t think of a better title than this, but the actual fic has no purposeful inpsiration from the olivia rodrigo song. i hope you enjoy it regardless! Xx
Part 2 out now!
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You groan as you see your brother and his friends make their way through the cafeteria towards you. Knowing it was their first day of high school, you had no doubt they’d try to sit with you. It’s not that you don’t want them to, but you’re terrified that they’ll embarrass you in front of your long-standing crush and dungeon master.
It had been a few months into your freshman year of high school when the small group of friends you’d found yourself in started ranting about how weird and creepy the Hellfire club - and their leader, Eddie Munson - was. You didn’t quite hold the same opinions, though, since you’d been playing the game for a few years by then. In fact, you had only recently given it up when the friend you played with moved towns.
It was during one of your free periods when their ranting became a bit annoying to you. You had started correcting and fact-checking them, forgetting that Eddie shared the study hall with you. You never even gave it a thought that he could hear the four of you talking until he stopped you at your locker after that period - the day, luckily, being over.
He wanted to know how you knew so much about the game which is when you admitted you had played. Of course that knowledge completely floored him. 
When he was able to pull himself back together, though, he offered for you to join them at lunch the following day to meet the group and see if you wanted to become their newest member. You agreed, and within the week found yourself a permanent part of hellfire with your own shirt and everything.
It’s been two and a half years since then and you were still a part of the group, happily devoting your Thursday evenings to play the game. Within these past couple years and all the Thursdays you’ve spent in his presence, though, you found yourself falling hard for Eddie.
It’s nearly impossible not to when he’s so charismatic and funny. Not to mention how kind, passionate, and beautiful he is. You’d swear he was a fucking angel, regardless of the image he tries to portray.
“Y/n! Can we sit here with you? Please?” You hear your brother almost beg, catching your attention as your heart starts to race.
You’ve never mentioned to the group that you have a younger brother, especially not a younger brother that also plays D&D. You knew they’d want to be introduced to him, and you fear that he'd slowly come to replace you in the group.
“Who’re these kids?” Eddie questions, hands clasped in front of his face as he looks between you and the three younger boys standing behind you.
“Uh, Dustin, here, is my brother.” You start, nodding towards him as he smiles.
“A-and these are his friends, Mike and Lucas.” 
“A young Henderson…hmm? Tell me, do you guys play?” Eddie asks the three boys, catching them off guard, their mouths opening and closing as they figure out how to answer.
“They do. They’ve been playing for a few years.” You answer for them, motioning for them to just sit down.
“Thank you.” Mike and Lucas mouth, having sat on the same side of the table as you with Dustin.
You sigh, smiling lightly as you nod to them. Of course you don’t want to upset Eddie, but you’re also not going to leave your brother and his friends to fend for themselves.
Wanting to move on, you take a bite of your lunch, hoping that Eddie leaves the topic of the boys joining you alone. Having known him for three years, though, you should know that he can’t.
“You’ve never mentioned having a brother, Henderson.” He comments, and you can practically feel his eyes on you as you stare at your food.
“The topic never really came up.” 
“Not even when I’ve mentioned wanting to find new members?” He lightly smirks, curious as to why you’d keep such a thing secret. 
Surely you realize how great having a brother that plays D&D is? Within the year most of you will be graduating, and he needs someone to pass the dungeon master title on to. Your younger brother and his friends just starting high school couldn’t be a better option.
“Figured you’d find him and his friends soon enough anyways.” you comment, still not looking up to the curly-haired adonis.
“Hmm, well they’ve saved me the work of searching them out by coming over here. Welcome to hellfire, boys.” 
“Wait, you’re just letting them join?” Gareth questions.
“Yeah. You’ve seen Henderson play. If they know her then they’ve got to be good.” Eddie smiles, making your cheeks flush.
“They’re good, but not on my account.” You mumble.
“Nonsense. Still can’t believe you wouldn’t tell us about them before now, though.” 
“How come you haven’t, y/n? I mean, you talk about them all the time.” Dustin asks, before taking a bite of his food. 
At his statement, the rest of the group seem to perk up, curious to know what you say about each of them. 
“I do not. I’ve only mentioned the club a few times.” You huff, feeling your cheeks heat up a bit more.
“Only a few times to mom and I, but I hear you on the phone with your friend talking about them every week.”
“First off, why’re you even listening to me on the phone? Secondly, the only reason I talk about the club is because I’m updating her on my life.” 
“Got a rather boring life then.” Dustin quips and you simply gawk at him, not believing him right now as a few surprised chuckles leave the rest of the boys.
“Shut up and eat, Dustin. No one asked for your input.” 
You watch him shrug before turning to Mike and Lucas while you stick to staring at your food, feeling the group's eyes on you. It’s bad enough you’re the only girl in the group, you didn’t need them to know you talk about them on a weekly basis.
Little do you realize that Eddie can’t help but find himself smiling at this new side of you. He’s been intrigued by you ever since he first heard you correcting your friends back in your freshman year. He couldn’t believe that such a beautiful girl would play the game he loved.
Of course, after watching you play and just spending time with you during lunch, he’s found himself crushing on you, even if you still remained a bit of a mystery to him. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you of his feelings, though. Not once in the three years he’s known you.
Hearing that you talk about the club, though, makes his heart race. You really enjoy their company so much that you’d talk about them to a friend? It’s insane to him, and yet it makes him feel giddy. He can’t help but wonder what you’ve said - about the club or about him.
~.~
“Lauren, I’m telling you! For as long as I’ve been a part of the club, my brother joins and suddenly that’s all they care about. They all like my brother and his friends better than me.” You sigh, turning onto your back as you stare at the ceiling.
“I highly doubt that, y/n. I’m sure it’s just that your brother and his friends are still new.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Laur. I mean, it’s not like I really bring anything to the group.”
“Y/n, you’re the only girl.”
“That doesn’t mean anything though.” You almost whine. 
You hate to admit it, but you’ve been feeling left out of the club ever since your brother and his friends joined a few months ago. You had the feeling that this would happen, even though you hoped it wouldn’t.
It’s not like you really bring anything to the group, though, now that you’ve introduced Dustin, Lucas, and Mike to the club. Your character isn’t super powerful or helpful or anything. You’re not the best roller. You’re just there...seemingly wasting space.
“Pretty sure it does. I mean, the way you’ve talked about…what’s his name, Eddie?”
“What about him?”
“The way you’ve talked about him, it sounds like he likes you.”
“No. No, he doesn’t. I’m sure of that. He barely talks to me.” You sigh, rolling over onto your stomach as you bury your head into the pillows.
“Y/n, hon, boys are terrible at talking to the girls they like!” Lauren laughs, and you know she’s shaking her head at you.
“Not Eddie. He usually can’t stop flirting, and yet he doesn’t flirt with me. I don’t even think he’s ever actually called me by my name, Laur. I’m just...Henderson to him.”
“Maybe you make him nervous.”
“Me? Make him nervous? Laur, you’ve lost your mind!” You scoff, knowing you could never make a guy nervous. 
Guys don’t even notice you, for crying out loud. How can you make them nervous?
“I don’t make guys nervous. Guys don’t even notice me, Laur. I’m not you.”
“Okay, now you’re just being down on yourself and I’m not going to have that. If this Eddie guy can’t see how fucking amazing you are, then he just doesn’t deserve you. Alright?”
“Not alright. I want him to like me. Like, a lot.” You pout.
“I’m telling you he does. If I’m wrong then I’ll drive myself down there and let you have free go at me. How’s that?”
“You know I’d never do that to you, but I’m telling you that you’re wrong.”
“Sure, I like him, but I know it’s never going to happen.” You sigh, twirling the cord as you stare at your bedspread, still laying on your stomach.
“What’s never going to happen?” You hear Dustin ask, making you jump and drop the phone.
“Dustin, get out of my room!”
“But it’s time to go! We’re going to be late if we don’t leave, y/n, and I don’t want to upset Eddie by being late.” He rambles, and all you can do is roll your eyes.
“Fine. Go get in the car. I’ll be right down.”
“Don’t forget that we’re picking up Mike and Lucas. And don’t forget your folder!”
“I won’t. Now go.” You groan, rolling back onto your stomach and grabbing the phone.
“I’m sorry, Laur. I’ve got to go.” 
“Time to go see your man, huh?” She teases and you roll your eyes, attempting to fight back a blush.
“He’s not my man. Never will be. I’ll call you later, though, okay?” 
“You better! Love you.”
With a ‘love you’ of your own you hang up the phone and roll off of your bed. Grabbing your backpack and a sweater, you slip your shoes on before grabbing your keys and leaving the room.
You really kind of hope tonight’s game goes by quickly, not wanting to be in Eddie’s presence longer than necessary.
~.~
Eddie can’t help but frown as he watches you tonight. He’s been noticing how you’ve been seeming more and more down, almost seeming to pull into yourself and away from the group this past month.
You’ve been quiet lately, which isn’t terribly out of character for you, but it seems different than normal. You don’t quite have that same brightness to you that Eddie’s come to look forward to each day.
“Henderson, is everything alright?”
At his voice you’re pulled from your thoughts, turning to look at the beautiful, curly-haired man that makes your heart race and palms sweat.
“Mhm. Fine.” You hum, nodding and sending a small smile in his direction.
“You’re sure?”
“Mhm.”
As you hum, you turn your attention back to your clasped hands on the table as you zone back out to Dustin and the rest of the group chattering around you.
“Little Henderson, is something up with your sister?” you hear Eddie question as he turns his attention to your brother. 
“Unbelievable.” You huff, shaking your head and crossing your arms as you slump back in your chair.
“Excuse me?” 
“Nothing. Never mind.” You mumble, staring at the table in front of you as you chew on the inside of your cheek.
All you did was zone out for a moment. You don’t understand why he’d have to ask Dustin what’s wrong when that’s all you did. It’s not like he’s ever actually taken notice of your emotions before to know that something is wrong.
“I think she’s upset about a guy.” Dustin speaks up after a moment and you can’t help but scowl at him, brows furrowed in shocked anger.
“A guy?” Eddie questions, almost seeming surprised.
“Yeah.” 
“It’s not about a guy, Dustin. Maybe try keeping your head out of my business.” You retort, jaw tensing in anger.
“But you were saying something about liking someone and how it’s not going to happen.”
“And I told you to stop listening in on me when I’m on the phone.” 
“Then what’s wrong?” Dustin questions, seeming like he genuinely wants to know which irritates you slightly. Why does he have to be so caring when you’re trying to be angry with him?
“Doesn’t matter.” you state, wanting the conversation to be over.
“Yes, it does.”
“If I wanted to tell you, Dustin, I would. Just leave it.” 
“G-guys, can we…can we get playing again?” You hear Mike stutter out and you let out a deep breath.
“Yeah. Sorry for getting off topic. Let’s play.”
“Are you going to be alright to play?” Eddie questions, looking you over, seemingly studying your body language.
He’s never seen you upset before, and he can’t help but wonder what’s going on. It’s not like you to be angry and short with others. Not when he’s always seen you as the happy, upbeat one of the group. 
Could it be a guy like Dustin suggested? Or is it just that you’re not feeling well? Either way he can’t help but want to know.
“I’ll be fine. Let’s just get this going again.” you answer, not bothering to look at anyone but rather as the table and your hands. 
“Henderson-“ Eddie starts, but you quickly cut him off, taking him by surprise at the sheer frustration coming from you.
“Do you not want me playing right now? I said I’ll be fine. Believe me, will you?” 
“Alright. Where were we?”
You let out a breath as you all slowly get back to the game, although you can feel the tenseness of the air still lingering. Attempting to ignore it, you force yourself to focus on what Eddie and everyone else is saying, hoping to god the campaign isn’t much longer.
~.~
Taking your seat at the lunch table, you feel Gareth and Jeff’s eyes on you. It’s like they’re not sure how to talk to you, almost afraid that you’re still as touchy as you were last night during the game.
“I’m not going to bite your heads off, you know.” You comment, not bothering to look up at them as you shove a forkful of food into your mouth.
“You’re sure?” Gareth questions, eyes wider than normal as he still seems cautious.
“Mhm. I just wasn’t feeling great last night.”
“Okay. You’ve just…never been like this.” He states and you know he’s not wrong. Ever since you first joined the club you’ve been quiet and almost demure, not wanting to create any issues. 
You shrug, acknowledging his statement, but leave it unanswered. There’s not really anything to say to that. Not when the entire reason for your irritation is kind of embarrassing and childish.
The two of them don’t seem to mind though, going back to talking amongst themselves as you eat in silence, waiting for everyone else to join the table.
It’s not like anything really changes once everyone is there. They all chat amongst themselves while you keep to yourself, only giving short replies when talked to. You simply eat in silence as you let yourself fall into your thoughts, not wanting to make the atmosphere tense like you had last night.
No one seems to mind, though. At least you don’t think they do. Not until Eddie slides into the empty desk next to yours in your shared study hall at the end of the day.
“Hey, Henderson.” He greets, voice lowered so as to not get yelled at by the teacher or to potentially get on your bad side.
“Hey.” 
“What’s…what’s going on lately?”
“What do y’mean?”
“You’ve been quieter than usual. Not as happy either.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about Eddie.” You mumble, not wanting to share what’s been going on.
“No? See, I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. Something’s bothering you.” 
“So what if there is? I’m not telling you unless I want to.” 
At your reply, Eddie simply sighs, and you can’t help but feel a little rude. It’s not like he’s done anything, it’s just your stupid thoughts and feelings getting in the way.
“Alright then. I’m not going to push for an answer. I just...I need to know that whatever it is won’t be interfering with the campaign.” 
“It won’t be. Not from here on out.”
“Here on out?”
“I’m quitting the club. Been thinking about it for a while now.” You admit, watching his face fall at your words.
“Henderson-“
“It’s y/n, Eddie.“
As the words leave your lips, the bell rings to signal that the day is finally over. Without hesitating a second, you’re up from your seat and walking away, leaving Eddie confused and scrambling to catch up to you.
“Y/n?” He calls, chasing you from the classroom and towards the doors, not caring that he needed to stop at his locker.
You see Dustin, Lucas, and Mike waiting by the trash can at the edge of the parking lot, and you sigh. You really can’t wait to get home.
“Y/n?! What’s brought this on? Why do you wanna leave the club?” Eddie calls as he continues to follow you towards the parking lot.
“You’re leaving hellfire?” Dustin questions, him and the other two boys having heard Eddie.
“Just get in the car, Dustin.”
“But you’re leaving hellfire?! You can’t just do that!” 
“Exactly! Why’re you trying to leave?” Eddie questions, panting lightly as he finally catches up to you at your car.
“I’m not trying to leave, Eddie. I am leaving. I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. Sorry.”
“No. You can’t just leave. We haven’t finished the campaign yet.”
“You’ll figure out how to continue it without me, I’m sure.”
Of course he’d just be upset about the game getting messed up and not about you actually leaving. Why would he care when he’s still got Little Henderson there? 
“I’ll return my shirt next week.” You state, moving to get into the car.
“Th-that’s not necessary. Hold onto the shirt. Keep it for memory’s sake, I mean.”
“If that’s what you want.” 
Eddie nods, watching you, seeming as if he wants to say something else but he can’t bring himself to.
“Is that everything?” You question, wanting nothing more than to leave.
“Yeah...Yeah, I guess. I’ll see you around?” 
“Yeah. See you around. Come on now, Dustin.”
“You two need rides?” You question Mike and Lucas, almost seeming to ignore Eddie as you get in the car. They shake their heads and you nod, closing your door as you wait for Dustin to do the same.
Soon as he does, you’re putting the car in reverse and backing out as you had already started it. You really didn’t want to be there any longer than you already had been.
As you pull out of the parking lot, though, you can feel Dustin wanting to ask questions, but he seems scared to anger you, so he stays quiet. His questions simply swirling around his head, instead.
~.~
“Wait, you did what now?!” Lauren questions, almost screaming into the receiver.
“I quit the club. I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t.”
“But you enjoyed it.”
“I enjoyed it when I hadn’t been shoved to the background. I enjoyed it when I actually felt like a part of the club.” 
“So talk to them? You don’t just quit something because it stopped being fun.”
“I think that’s precisely what you do when a club stops being fun, Laur. Besides, it’s not like they miss me.” You huff, pulling your feet towards your body as you lay on your stomach, softly kicking them in the air.
It’s been just about a month since you quit the club, and while it saddens you a little, you’ve also felt the tiniest bit of relief. You don’t have to try so hard to keep your crush on Eddie hidden anymore. You don’t have to spend every lunch period listening to the guys talk about whatever it is they do while you sit to the side. You don’t have to feel like the outcast in the group of outcasts. 
Sure you miss playing the game, but it’s not the end of the world. You’ve found other things to keep yourself preoccupied. Mostly just listening to music and doing your homework, but you’ve found yourself picking up art as a hobby as the days dragged on, slowly starting to fill and old sketchbook you’ve had lying around.
~.~
“It’s still so weird that y/n isn’t here.” Gareth comments as the boys watch you sit at a different table once again. They don’t know why, but they keep hoping this has just been some kind of nightmare and that any day you’ll actually sit back down with them. It just doesn’t make sense why you’d leave them all so abruptly. 
“Yeah. It is.” Jeff agrees, sighing as they see a smile form on your face with a laugh falling out right after. It’s been way too long since any of them have seen you like this, and it kind of hurts.
“She still wears her shirt a lot.” Dustin informs, looking at the older boys - Eddie included - as they watch you.
“She does?” Eddie questions, the bit of knowledge somehow lifting him up a little.
He hated hearing you say you were quitting, and he hated it even more when Monday came around the week after and you didn’t sit with them. Nearly three years you had sat by his side and suddenly you weren’t there anymore. It felt beyond wrong, but he didn’t know what to do to fix it, if there even was anything that he could do.
“Yeah. She seems to wear it all the time now. I’m honestly not sure when the last time was that she didn’t wear it.”
Eddie nods, smiling lightly at the thought. He can’t help but wonder if there’s anything different he could have done to keep you from leaving. Was it something he had said? Or done? Was it just him?
“She’s been acting weird since she left. I heard her on the phone the other day-“
“You really should stop that, Dustin.” Eddie pipes up, but the younger boy doesn’t seem to hear.
“She said something about how she couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine after mentioning to her friend that she quit.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve never known her to pretend about anything. I don’t know what she was talking about.”
“Because then she said something about enjoying the club when she felt like a part of it? She’s always been a part of it though.” Dustin continues, frowning as he eats his food.
He may not understand what you were talking about, but Eddie has a sinking feeling that he does. He really hopes he’s wrong though. 
He doesn’t want to admit that he was giving your brother and his friends more attention than he’s ever really gave you. It’s not that they’re better than you in any way, honestly. It’s just that they’re boys. 
He’s always hesitated in giving you attention during meetings or at lunch, because he didn’t want anyone to catch onto the crush he has on you. He was afraid that if Gareth or Jeff knew he liked you, that it’d make the atmosphere awkward. 
Even by keeping you at a distance, though, the two guys picked up on Eddie’s crush. It’s not in his character to be quiet or reserved in the slightest, so when they noticed how he constrained himself in conversation with you, they knew something was up.
Still, Eddie could never allow himself to act the same way with you like he does with Gareth and Jeff, and now your brother and his friends. He wanted you to like him, so he kept himself from being sarcastic and outspoken with you. Hearing Dustin talk though, Eddie has the suspicion that his plan may have backfired.
“Your sister still picks you up from the meetings, doesn’t she?” Eddie questions, already planning out what he wants to say to you when he can get you aside for a moment.
“No. Nancy’s been dropping me off or I’ve just been riding my bike.” 
“I’ll be driving you home tonight then.” 
“O-okay?!”
Eddie chuckles lightly at Dustin’s excitement, but he never takes his eyes off of you across the cafeteria. He needs to talk to you, and he’s hoping that tonight he can do just that.
~.~
“You know it ain’t easy, running out of thrills. You know it ain’t easy when you don’t know what you want.” 
You hum, laying on your bed as you listen to the drums, guitar, and vocals of Europe fill your room.
“What do you want?” You question, mirroring the song, your foot tapping against your bedspread as you close your eyes.
“Woah-oh-oh, you want to rock now, rock the night, ‘til early in the morning light. Rock now, rock the night.”
“Woah-oh, woah-oh, yeah!” You sing, smiling lightly. 
It’s been awhile since you’ve been able to just relax and enjoy listening to your music without worrying about homework or being late to hellfire. One of the plus sides of quitting the club - you finally get time just for yourself.
Hearing a knock on your door, you hum loud enough to acknowledge whoever is at the door.
“y/n? You’ve got a visitor.” Dustin calls, gently opening your door.
“Who?” You question, sitting up on your bed, nodding as Eddie comes into view behind Dustin.
“Oh…hi.”
“Hi. I-is it alright if I come in?” He questions, pausing in your doorway.
“Yeah, I guess so.” 
As he makes his way inside, you situate yourself in your bed so you’re comfortably sitting up.
“Do you…” 
At Eddie’s voice, you look up to see him questioning you about your door, going to close it before swinging it open.
“You can close it if you want. I don’t care.” 
He nods, softly shoving the door to close it, not quite giving it enough force to close all the way so there’s a little crack left open.
“So what’re you doing here?” You question him, watching him as he looks around, seeming a bit out of place with your soft white walls and contradicting decor.
While he may fit into the plethora of rock band posters covering your walls and the many records and cassettes you’ve got laying around, he doesn’t fit in with the florals and stuffed animals you’ve got elsewhere in your room.
“I, uh, I was hoping we could talk.”
“About what?”
You can’t help but chuckle as he spots the bralette hanging out of your dresser, you having been too lazy to tuck it back in earlier, and seems to pale in horror. For seeming so confident and cocky, he sure doesn’t look it being in a girl’s room.
“You can sit, you know.” You offer, motioning to the chair you’ve got in the corner of your room.
“Yeah, okay.” He mumbles, taking a few steps over towards the chair before sitting on the edge of the seat.
You watch as he takes in your room, fidgeting with his hands and rings as he does so. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he was nervous to be here.
“What did you want to talk about?”
“Uh, well, w-we really miss you being in the club. G-gareth, Jeff, and I. I mean, s-so do the younger ones, but…”
“But you three miss me more?” You question, eyebrow cocking in disbelief.
“Well, yeah…yeah.”
“Okay.” You deadpan, not sure what he wants in reply to that. It’s nice to hear that they miss you, but it doesn’t really change anything.
A brief moment passes where you watch Eddie, waiting for him to say something else. Taking in his mannerisms and body language, you can’t remember a time when Eddie’s ever looked so nervous and unsure of himself.
“D-dustin was saying you felt left out? Of the club?” Eddie clarifies, drawing up just enough courage to look at you.
“He was listening to me on the phone again, wasn’t he?” 
“Y-yeah. I tried telling him to stop, but I don’t think he heard me.” he sighs, chuckling lightly in nerves as you shake your head.
“I don’t think he’ll ever stop, if I’m honest. He’ll be traumatized one day or another I’m sure.” You laugh, shaking your head at the thought as you smile.
“It’s true though? You…you felt left out?”
“Yeah. It’s dumb, I know, but you guys took so easily to Dustin, Lucas, and Mike.”
“I get it, they’re great kids, and they play D&D…but it’s like they didn’t even have to try to fit into the group.” You sigh, knowing it’s about time you share at least part of the problem.
“No. No, it’s not dumb. I’m sorry we made you - I made you - feel that way.” Eddie sighs, catching your line of sight in his, wanting you to realize how sincere he’s being.
He never wanted to make you feel left out, it’s just his stupid feelings that got in the way.
“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyways.” 
“It does matter, though. We’d - I’d - really like you to join the group again. It’s not the same without you there, y/n.”
“I’m sorry. I just, I really don’t think joining again would be good, though.” You admit, knowing that if you joined again you’d still just be upset that nothing will ever come from your crush on him.
“How come? I-is there something else that’s been bothering you about the club? I want you to feel welcome.”
“No. No, It’s nothing about the club, Eddie. There’s just a lot of things going on personally that’d make it hard.”
“That guy issue?”
“What?”
“Is it anything to do with that guy issue Dustin mentioned?” Eddie questions, and you can’t help but gawk at him.
“Does he not like you playing or something?”
“What? No.” you answer, shaking your head incredulously, wondering how Eddie got it into his head that you’d ever be wanted by someone. Has he never actually watched how other guys interact with you?
“Then what is it? Why won’t you come back to the club?”
“It doesn’t matter. I just...can’t. It’s better if I let you guys enjoy it yourselves.”
“It’s not better, though. We all want you back, y/n.”
“I’m sorry.” You sigh, not knowing what else you can say. 
A moment passes where neither of you say anything and you start to think that maybe you’re done talking. Before you can say anything of the sort though, Eddie’s asking a question.
“Tell me, is there anything I can do? Anything that would make you want to come back?”
“No…no, there’s nothing you could do, eddie, I promise y-“
“There must be.” He argues, wanting nothing more than to find something he can do to get you to come back. 
He misses you more than he thought possible, and he just needs there to be something - anything - he can do.
“There’s not, though.”
“How come?”
“What?”
“How come there’s nothing I can do? Are you just that dead set on not coming back? Even though we all miss you?”
“If I could, trust me that I would join the group again. I just, I can’t right now, Eddie. I’m sor-“
“Why can’t you?”
“Because…because of you.” You sigh, fed up with him pushing for an answer.
“Me?”
“You, Eddie. I can’t come back because of you. Because if I did then I’d just get all upset again because my heart is dumb and doesn’t know how to listen.” 
“What do you mean?”
You sigh, taking a deep breath as you look at him. You can’t seriously be getting ready to tell him this, but you are. You don’t see any other option right now.
“I like you, Eddie.” You sigh, fidgeting with your fingers.
“I like you, but you don’t like me. I mean, it’s obvious between you never talking to me or looking at me and how you’ve always called me Hender-“
You gasp, moaning lightly as you get cut off by a pair of lips on yours. Eddie was kissing you to shut you up.
At the realization you can’t help but panic, not understanding why he’d do this when he doesn’t like you. 
“Eddie!” 
“Fuck! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just, you were rambling and saying I didn’t like you but I do! I do. I like y-“
It’s his turn to gasp and groan into the kiss as you pull him to your lips, one hand tightly grasped in the front of his shirt while the other drapes around his shoulders, holding him close to you.
As he realizes what’s happening, he relaxes into the kiss, his one hand coming up to caress your cheek as the other holds himself up on the bed.
It’s not until you’re both out of breath and gasping for air do you actually pull away from each other, your hand relaxing against his chest as he lowers his from your cheek.
“Woah.” He sighs, trying to catch his breath as he chuckles lightly, studying your face.
“Yeah.” You murmur, ghosting your fingers over your lips as if trying to remember if that actually just happened.
“Uhm, so I like you. If-if that wasn’t obvious.” He stutters and you chuckle, smiling at the curly-haired dork.
“I like you too.”
“I’m sorry I pushed you away. Made you feel left out when I was just too nervous to admit I liked you.”
“I’m sorry I got all moody and quit the club because I was jealous of my brother instead of just telling you how I felt.”
“So…does this mean you’ll come back?” He asks, hopeful, as he kneels in front of you.
“You’ll stop treating me differently?”
“Mhm. Trust me when I say there’ll be no pushing you away after that.” 
“Mm. Don’t be treating me specially either just because we kissed.” you lightly chuckle, cocking a brow as you chew on your lip to hold back the smile wanting to light up your face.
“Can I treat you differently if I ask you to be my girlfriend?” he questions, a wide, goofy smile filling his face as he looks at you.
A smile grows on your face at his sheer happiness, drawing a light chuckle from you as you reply to his question.
“Not during game play. We don’t wanna be unfair to the guys, do we?”
“Mm, you’re right. If I promise to not treat you specially during gameplay then will you be my girlfriend?” he asks, really wanting to hear you say yes. He’s only liked you for nearly three years, frequently imagining you as his girlfriend the entire time.
“I would really love for you to be my girlfriend, and I your boyfriend. It just. It sounds really nice.” 
“You ramble a lot. You know that?” You giggle, tucking some hair behind his ear as a blush dusts over his cheeks.
“Is that a good thing?”
“Sometimes.” You smile, biting your lip to keep from kissing him again.
“So…?”
“If you promise not to treat me specially during the game, then I’d love to be your girlfriend, Eddie.”
“Yeah?” He questions, as if he doesn’t believe that you’d agree.
“Yeah.”
With the word out of your mouth, his lips find yours again, pulling a chuckle from your body as he slowly lowers himself on top of you, pinning you against your mattress as he kisses you, one hand cupping your cheek as the other rests on your waist.
“Did you-ew!” You hear Dustin call from your doorway, fake gagging as he sees Eddie on top of you, effectively startling the man back into kneeling at the end of your bed.
“Did we what, dustin?” You ask, leaning around Eddie’s body to look at your brother still standing at your doorway, one hand plastered over his eyes.
“I wanted to see if you two had figured things out, but it seems like you did.”
“Yeah, we did, little henderson. Your sister is coming back to the club.” Eddie shares, smiling at you as he situates himself on the bed beside you, Dustin uncovering his eyes in excitement at the exact same time.
“Can you please get off of my sister?” he begs, shielding his eyes again as eddie places a soft kiss to your lips in his own happiness of you coming back to the club.
“But I like being close to my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?! You’re dating my sister?!” Dustin exclaims, a look of pure shock and disgust on his face.
“Is there a problem with it, Dustin?” You question, watching your brother almost seeming to pout.
“I guess not. Just…don’t be gross when I’m around. Please?”
“We’ll try not to be.” Eddie states, smiling at you as Dustin nods, giving a small okay before leaving the two of you alone.
As the door closes, Eddie’s looking back at you, both of you chuckling.
“Guess you were right in saying he’d be traumatized one day.” He chuckles, leaning down to give you another kiss, never realizing just how amazing it’d feel to have your lips on his.
You can’t help but smile into it, enjoying the feel of his body on yours. You’ve only been imaging this moment for nearly four years. You’ve got to say that nothing you imagined could ever live up to the reality, though. Kissing Eddie is like a little slice of heaven, you swear.
It certainly took you long enough to get here, but now that you’re here, you don’t ever want to go back.
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steveseddie · 1 month
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go for it
steddie | rating: t | cw: none | wc: 4,6k | tags: eddie and steve have a crush, they finally do something about it, the hellfire club is there whoops, first kiss, getting together
for my stficbingo: “This is a dictatorship and I’m in charge!”
click here to read on ao3
***
“You drag yourselves out of the tunnels and find what seems to be a friendly tavern in the woods,” Eddie narrates in a low voice, his eyes sweeping over everyone sitting at the Harrington dining table. They’re all at the edge of their seats, collectively holding their breath, looking suitably daunted yet excited as they brace themselves for some other twist in the story. “The innkeeper welcomes you with warm food and offers you a place to stay. She assures you that you’re safe.” 
He pauses for dramatic effect. Watches as Henderson bites his knuckles, Wheeler squeezes his eyes shut, Jeff covers his face with his hands-
“Tonight you get to rest,” he finishes with a flourish of his hand and the party sighs in relief. 
“Thank God!” Gareth says, slumping back on his chair and wiping his brow where beads of sweat started gathering during the final moments of the campaign. “I thought we wouldn’t make it.” 
“Holy shit, me too,” Sinclair agrees, shaking his head in disbelief. He’d been one bad die roll away from dying by the time they finally defeated the goblins that attacked them out of nowhere. “That was brutal!” 
“It was fucking awesome!” Henderson says with a squeaky laugh and everyone around the table heartily agrees.  
Eddie grins widely, resting his chin on one hand and doing a flourish with the other one in lieu of a bow. “Glad it pleased you, Master Nog.” 
The kid flashes him a toothy smile and then he and the rest of the party start discussing tonight’s campaign- the best moments, the ones where they thought they would all die, their predictions for what will happen next week. 
They’re so caught up in their conversation that they don’t notice when Eddie slips away from the table.
The Harrington house is easy to get lost in, bigger than any house Eddie has ever been to. Even after weeks of being friends with Steve and coming over for movie nights and pool parties, Eddie isn’t sure he’s seen all of it. He knows there’s a third garage somewhere and he’s only been to one of the three guest bedrooms and that was back on the first night he slept over. 
(Since then, he and Steve realized that they sleep better when they have company and Eddie never saw the inside of that or any of the other guest rooms again, sharing Steve’s bed with him whenever he spends the night instead.)
Eddie has been to Harrington kitchen plenty of times though, so he makes his way there easily. 
As he gets further away from his friends and their noise, Eddie’s ears pick up on the music coming from the Harrington kitchen, which further guides him in the right direction. He belatedly recognizes the song as part of the mixtape he made for Steve a couple of days ago in an attempt to improve his music taste. When he gave it to him, Steve eyed it warily (“It’s real music, Stevie, not a rabid animal, it won’t bite you!”) before shoving it into his car’s glove compartment. He didn’t bring it up since then and Eddie assumed he forgot about it. Knowing that Steve didn’t forget and he’s actually listening to it now fills Eddie’s stomach with butterflies. 
Those butterflies flutter pathetically when he finally reaches the kitchen and finds Steve doing the dishes. 
He’s standing in front of the sink, his hips moving with the music (not heavy metal but some soft rock that Eddie thought might be more Steve’s style while still being cool) and there’s a flowery apron tied around his waist which matches the rubber gloves he’s wearing. Both were a gag gift from the kids, Steve told Eddie the first time he saw him wearing them, one that actually turned out to be quite useful and now he wears them often. 
For a moment, Eddie lingers at the kitchen doorway, giving himself a few seconds to stare at Steve, filing away how he looks for later when he’s daydreaming embarrassingly domestic fantasies of a life with Steve. Then he raps his knuckles twice on the door frame to get his attention. 
(Eddie knows better than to sneak up on him now. The one time he did Steve had him pinned against a wall before Eddie could even realize what was happening. He thought it was hot more than anything, but Steve had been mortified. He spent the rest of the night apologizing and acting like a kicked puppy around him. He didn’t relax until Eddie reminded him that the first time they met, Eddie did the same thing, only he also held a broken bottle to Steve’s throat. So now they were more than even.)
Steve’s head whips around at the sound and his face lights up when he sees Eddie leaning against the door frame. 
“Hey!” Steve says, grinning like he’s delighted to see Eddie. Like he missed him, like he didn’t see him less than forty minutes ago when they all took a break to have dinner. “You finished early tonight.” 
Glancing at the clock on top of the fridge, Eddie realizes that Steve is right. “I figured they had enough for one night,” Eddie says, stepping into the kitchen and joining Steve by the sink. “Usually the brats would throw a fit, but I think they were actually glad this time.”  
“That bad?” Steve asks with a snort.
“Wheeler rolled four nat ones in a row, Steve, four!” Eddie says, dancing in and out of Steve’s space until Steve hip-checks him out of the way with a chuckle. 
“Four, huh?” 
“Mhm, the odds weren’t in their favor tonight.” 
“Well, it was nice of you to let them off the hook for once, Mr. Dungeon Master,” Steve says, crinkly eyes meeting Eddie’s momentarily before looking down at the sink and picking up another plate. 
“I’m always nice, Stevie,” Eddie says, leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest.
Steve gives him a bitchy face. “Dude, I’m pretty sure I heard you threaten to chop off Dougie’s hand.” 
“That was the goblin, not me!” Eddie protests, wagging his finger in front of Steve’s face. “Who Jeff killed shortly after, so who’s the one that isn’t nice here?” 
“Right,” Steve deadpans. He takes off the rubber gloves after rinsing the last plate and picks up a dish towel to start drying. “You can always get your revenge next week I guess.” 
“Oh I will, Stevie. I will,” he says, grinning manically. Oh the things he has planned. Eddie hops on top of the counter, right next to where Steve stands as he dries plates and glasses and everything else he used to make the most delicious lasagna for the party. His feet dangle from the counter and he lightly nudges Steve with one. “Hey, thanks for letting us play here. And for dinner.”
“You know you don’t have to thank me every time, right Eds?” Steve says with an exaggerated sigh, but his annoyance is downplayed by his playful smile. The lopsided one that makes Eddie want to kiss him stupid. 
After Spring Break, Principal Higgins was quick to shut down Hellfire once and for all, leaving the party with no place to hold their campaigns. Eddie wasn’t surprised but like everyone else, he was pretty fucking bummed about it. No one in their party had enough space at their house to host their campaigns, and the only two that did, Wheeler and Sinclair, failed to convince their parents to let them use their basement for their alleged satanic cult gatherings. 
But just when they thought their club was done for, Steve swooped in like the knight in shining armor that he is and offered up his house, which is why for the last couple of weeks they’ve been gathering at the Harrington residence where Steve not only hosts their campaigns and puts up with the noise and the mess they leave behind, but he also cooks or buys them dinner every week and makes sure to stock up his fridge with each of their favorite drinks, even indulging in Gareth’s weird obsession with Bubble Up soda because he is unreal and the nicest fucking guy Eddie knows. 
So Eddie can’t not thank him every time. Contrary to what people might believe, he has manners. He also likes the pretty pink flush that covers Steve’s cheeks whenever he does it.
“Hm, I think I do,” he says, nudging Steve’s leg again. “Hellfire would be over if it wasn’t for you, sweetheart.” 
“And what a tragedy that would be,” Steve jokes but aha! There it is- that pretty pink blush. 
“Hey! I know for a fact that you don’t hate it as much as you pretend to,” Eddie says, shaking his finger in a reproachful manner. “You sat through the whole session last time and didn’t even yawn once!” 
Last week, Dustin begged and pleaded so that Steve would sit and watch their campaign instead of retreating to the kitchen or his bedroom. Steve held his ground admirably until Eddie joined in on Dustin’s pleas, batting his eyelashes and pouting exaggeratedly until he caved, sighing in defeat and sitting down next to Eddie. He didn’t expect Steve to make it through the whole thing, but he did and while he did look a little confused at times and complained that there was way too much math involved, he also seemed to actually enjoy himself. 
Steve shifts from one foot to the other and bites his lip. “Yeah, I guess, but that’s because I was watching you the whole time,” he shyly says.
Eddie blinks. “Me?” He remembers Steve’s eyes on him while he led the campaign, but he didn’t think much of it then. But now Steve’s shy admission that he enjoyed himself because he was watching Eddie makes his heart stutter in his chest. 
Flushing deeper, Steve keeps his eyes on the glass that he’s drying, not meeting Eddie’s gaze as he says, “Yeah, you, uh. You’re very good at doing those voices and you know, drawing people into your stories. It’s, um, fascinating.” 
Fascinating. No one’s ever used that word to describe Eddie before. He can’t help the way his breath catches when Steve Harrington of all people calls him that. 
“Oh. Well, thanks,” he stammers out, feeling his own cheeks match Steve’s flush. “And here I thought you were going to say I’m just pretty to look at,” he adds with a slightly shaky laugh.
And that’s what he expects Steve to do- laugh it off. Instead, he finally meets Eddie’s eyes and says, “Well, that too.” 
Eddie’s jaw drops. Holy shit. 
Steve does laugh then but not because it was a joke. He laughs at Eddie’s reaction which consists of him gaping like a fish because Steve Harrington just called him fascinating and pretty. 
And it’s not that Steve hasn’t given him compliments before or hasn’t flirted with him before. He plays along most of the time- sometimes with a playful smirk and sometimes with that baffled puppy look that Eddie saw for the first time after calling him “big boy”.
The thing is he’s never flirted like this- shyly, without a hint of a joke. And it’s- 
Well, it’s a lot. 
But if Eddie learned anything after Spring Break is to roll with whatever the universe throws at him, which in this case isn’t an army of hell bats or an apocalypse, but Steve Harrington finally, maybe, possibly making a move. Something that Eddie has been waiting for after weeks of the two of them dancing around each other. 
He couldn’t see it at first, or rather he refused to, afraid to get his hopes up only for his heart to break when he turned out to be wrong. But there are things that not even his cynical eyes can ignore. The way Steve gravitates towards Eddie in any group setting or the way Eddie catches him staring when he thinks he isn’t looking like last week when they went swimming at the quarry and Eddie took off his shirt or like two weeks ago when Eddie tied his hair up to keep it off his face while he played his guitar. Or the way Steve’s eyes seem to dart to Eddie’s lips constantly when he talks and the way he can’t go more than a day without seeing him before he’s knocking on Eddie’s door to spend time with him.
It would be slightly easier to ignore all of this if it wasn’t for the fact that Eddie acts the same way when it comes to Steve. And Eddie is halfway in love with the guy, so. It makes him wonder. 
But despite all of this, Eddie still hasn’t made a move. Steve either. Until now maybe. 
Eddie clears his throat, finally finding his words. “Well, as entertaining as it must’ve been to watch me.” He grins. “You’ll have more fun if you actually play with us. Maybe next time I can finally convince you to join.”
Hazel eyes narrow at him. “If I play, will you threaten to cut off my hand too?”  
“Nah, I promise to go easy on you since it’s your first time.” He winks and Steve’s eyes widen, the blush from before making a wonderful return. 
“I- I haven’t said yes-”
“Yet.” 
Steve huffs. “What makes you so sure that you can convince me?” He asks with an arched eyebrow. “The kids have tried and failed and you know how relentless they are.”
“Yeah, but I can be very persuasive.” He gestures at himself with a hand flourish. “You know, as a cult leader and all.”
Steve hums. “Of course.” He leans his hip against the counter, only an inch away from Eddie’s thigh.
“There’s gotta be something I can do to convince you,” Eddie says, moving his thigh until it touches Steve’s hip. “Something I can give you in exchange. To make it worth your while.”
Steve’s eyes immediately dart down to Eddie’s lips. Eddie’s stomach swoops. There it is.
“You’re right,” Steve says, and in one quick movement, he pushes himself away from the counter and moves to stand between Eddie’s legs. Holy fuck. “There’s one thing.”
Anticipation bubbles up in Eddie’s stomach. “Yeah? What- what is it?” He asks with a suddenly dry throat. 
Steve ducks his head, glancing at Eddie through his eyelashes. “A kiss from the Dungeon Master?” He asks in a shy whisper. 
Eddie stares at him for a second, lips parted in surprise because goddamn shitting fuck. Then-
“Not the goblin?” He asks in his stupid goblin voice. Like a fucking loser.
As soon as he blurts it out he slaps a hand against his face. “Fucking Christ, I can’t believe I just did that. That was so lame. I’m just fucking nervous, sorry.” 
Steve wraps his fingers around Eddie’s wrist, lowering his hand. His eyes are sparkling with fondness. “Don’t be, it’s cute,” he says with a soft chuckle. 
A nearly hysterical giggle bubbles up in Eddie’s throat but it abruptly cuts off when Steve places his hands on Eddie’s thigh and leans in. 
“Eddie.”
“Yeah?” 
“Are you gonna give me that kiss or what?” Steve asks oh so sweetly.
And Eddie doesn’t waste a moment after that, he finally goes for it. He cups Steve’s cheeks and tugs his face closer, pressing their mouths together, feeling his chest explode with warmth as he thinks finally and pinch me and holy fucking shit. 
The kiss is sweet and slow. It starts a little tentative, just lips slotting together, Steve’s bottom lip fitting perfectly between Eddie’s. But then something shifts- Steve’s hands settle on Eddie’s waist, his thumbs digging into his hip bones while Eddie’s fingers find their way to Steve’s hair, scratching at his scalp, tangling with the soft strands, tugging on them. The last one makes Steve’s mouth fall open in a gasp, just enough for Eddie to press in, catching Steve’s lower lip between his teeth and biting down hard enough to earn himself a small whine. Then he lets it go, easing his tongue across Steve’s lip and licking into his mouth. 
He loses track of anything else that happens when Steve’s own tongue licks into his mouth in return. 
After a while the kiss softens again, turning into something slow and tender until it comes to a natural stop, once they can’t ignore the need to breathe anymore. 
Steve pulls back but Eddie doesn’t let him go far, keeping a firm hold on the lapels of his dorky polo shirt. “Definitely worth my while but-” 
Eddie cocks an eyebrow. “But?” 
“But,” Steve says, his red, wet, well-kissed lips stretching into a wicked grin. “I think I’m gonna need more convincing.”
Eddie grins back. “Oh, I think that can be arranged.”
He tugs Steve closer again and he comes willingly, sighing happily when their lips slot together once more. God, Eddie is so fucked. They’ve kissed once and he’s already addicted to kissing Steve. He’s convinced that he could stay like this forever, lazily making out with him on his kitchen counter, tongues exploring, hands wandering.
And he probably would’ve- if a shrill voice didn’t make them jump apart. 
“What the hell is going on here!” Dustin yells.
Steve whirls around so fast he almost faceplants on his kitchen floor and Eddie jumps back and hits his head against one of the upper cupboards.
He lets out a string of creative curses as he rubs the back of his head, seeing black spots when he opens his eyes. Despite those, he can still see the whole party standing in the kitchen doorway, staring at them with expressions ranging from utter shock (Sinclair and Henderson) to disgust (Wheeler) to smugness (Jeff, Gareth, Dougie, and weirdly enough, Erica). 
“Uh,” Steve says dumbly as he tries to find his words, but there’s no lying their way out of this one and they both know it. They were just caught with their tongues down each other’s throats and Eddie’s hands on Steve’s ass. 
“Well?” Dustin prompts in a bitchy tone.
“I was, uh, convincing Steve to join D&D next week,” Eddie says, which is, technically, the truth. 
Gareth snorts, raising an eyebrow. “With your tongue?” 
Eddie gives a gleeful laugh. “As a matter of fact, yes.” 
“Eddie,” Steve hisses, flushing to the tips of his ears. 
“That’s gross!” Wheeler cries, his face scrunching up which is rich coming from him, Eddie thinks, considering he saw him sucking face with El more times than he would’ve liked in the short time she was in Hawkins after everything. So he knows Wheeler has nothing against kissing and it makes him wonder if he might have something against Eddie kissing a boy, or boys kissing boys in general and Eddie loves the kid, he loves all of them but he will sit him down for some tough love if he happens to not be okay with-
There’s a slapping sound as Erica smacks him upside the head.
“Ouch!”
“Not cool, butthead,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Wheeler. “Boys can kiss boys too.”
The corner of Eddie’s mouth tugs up in a smile. Just like that, she’s currently his favorite. 
“What?” Wheeler asks, rubbing the back of his head. “I know that. I don’t care that Eddie wants to kiss guys, I care that he wants to kiss Steve!”
“Hey!” Steve protests with an affronted frown.  
“Eddie is cool and Steve is so lame! And he’s my sister’s ex!” He says with extra snark. 
Eddie can’t help it, he bursts out laughing. Steve’s head snaps in his direction, his offended expression now directed at him. “Sorry, sorry,” he says between giggles. He clears his throat and gives Wheeler a stern face. It’s a much different scolding than the one he thought he would be giving him just a few moments ago and he’s grateful for that. “Steve isn’t lame. Yes, his music taste is shit and he owns more polo shirts than an 80-year-old-” 
“Dude, are you defending me or helping Mike insult me?” Steve mumbles with a pout. 
“But!” Eddie says, ignoring him. “He’s also badass and he’s saved your sorry asses multiple times and he’s nice enough to let you pipsqueaks eat his food and trash his house every week and he’s hot as fuck, so. Show some respect, Wheeler.”
Mike’s face scrunches up. “What does Steve being hot have to do with anything? Ew!”
But before Eddie can reply to that, Dustin takes a step forward, looking between the two. “So this is a thing now? Are you guys a thing?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at them.
Steve and Eddie exchange a look, both of them trying to communicate the same thing- do you want to be a thing? Steve gives him a sheepish smile and a nod, and in response, Eddie wraps his arms and legs around him, essentially hanging off of Steve’s back like a koala and trapping him against the counter. “Yes, Henderson. We are, as you so eloquently put it, a thing.”
Eddie expects more outrage, but Dustin nods solemnly. “Okay, cool. Just- no flirting at the D&D table. And no kissing!” There are nods and noises of agreement from the rest of the party. 
Eddie lets out an indignant squeak. “Excuse me, this is a dictatorship and I’m in charge! And the Dungeon Master decides that there will be kissing, butthead,” he announces, and then to prove a point, he smacks a sloppy kiss against Steve’s cheek. 
There’s a lot of groaning and whining and fake-gagging. 
“Dude, it’s like watching my parents kiss,” Sinclair says and Henderson nods, rubbing at his eyes like it physically hurt him to see Eddie kiss Steve. 
Eddie rolls his eyes- and they call him dramatic.
“Fine, fine, no kissing,” he says and sees Steve pout out of the corner of his eye. “But I won’t be deprived of the joy of flirting with one Sir Stephen.” 
Steve leans back against Eddie’s chest, twisting his neck to arch an eyebrow at him. “Sir Stephen?”  
“I’ve been working on your character sheet for weeks,” Eddie says with a grin. And it’s true, he had the feeling that he would be able to convince Steve to play and he wanted to be ready. If he’d known a kiss was all it took to do it, he would’ve done it much sooner. 
“That’s presumptuous of you,” Steve mumbles, but there’s a smile teasing at his lips. Eddie shrugs, nuzzling his face against Steve’s shoulder. 
“Fine!” Dustin groans, reminding Eddie that he and Steve aren’t alone. “As long as you stay in character.” 
Eddie grins wickedly, already looking forward to flirting with Steve through all his characters, even the goblin. 
“Anyway,” Jeff says, clapping his hands on Dustin’s shoulders. “We were on our way out. We would offer to take the kiddos home, but Dougie’s piece of shit car won’t fit them all.” Dougie protests with a “Hey!” that they all ignore. 
Usually, Eddie doesn’t mind driving the kids around, but right now, a part of him does wish that he could stay a little longer with Steve. The other part can’t wait to get home so he can scream into a pillow. 
“Nah, I got it. Gentleman, lady, grab your things, we’ll head out in a second,” he says, making shooing motions with his hands. 
Sinclair rolls his eyes. “He just wants more time to make out with Steve,” he mutters as they all start to pile out of the kitchen. 
“Correct, Sinclair!”
He and Wheeler make gagging noises, earning a shove from Erica as she follows them. Yeah, she’s definitely his favorite. 
Henderson lingers on the doorway. 
“Any other rules you wish to impose on us, Master Nog?” Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow. 
Dustin shakes his head, curls bouncing. “No, I’m just- I’m happy for you. Both of you.”
Eddie blinks. “Oh,” he exhales softly, touched by the kid’s words. 
“Thanks, Henderson,” Steve says, and he sounds touched too. 
“Yeah, thanks, kid.” 
“And I love you both, but if you get divorced, I will pick sides.” And with one final narrow-eyed look, he turns on his heels and leaves.
“Which side?” Eddie asks, but the little shit pretends he doesn’t hear him. “Henderson! Which side?” His shoulders slump. “Brat.”
“Too bad we’re never gonna find out,” Steve says, turning around to face Eddie without dislodging his arms or legs that are still wrapped around him.
Eddie’s heart stutters in his chest. “Never? That’s presumptuous of you,” he says, echoing his words from before. 
Steve shrugs. “I just know I don’t plan to break up with you- or divorce you like the kid said.” 
Oh yeah, Eddie definitely needs a pillow to scream into right about now. “Um, yeah, me neither, so I guess we’re stuck together.”
Steve nods with a dopey smile. “And we’ll never know who Dustin would’ve picked.” 
There’s a short silence. 
Then, “He would’ve picked me,” they both say at the same time. 
Steve squawks. “Me!”
“No, me!” 
“I’ve known him longer!”
“He thinks I’m cooler!” 
And so on until Eddie gets tired of arguing and shuts Steve up with a kiss. Before they can deepen it though, they’re once again interrupted by the kids. 
“Eddie!” Dustin yells. 
“Stop sucking face and let’s go!” Wheeler adds and Eddie can’t see him, but he knows his nose is scrunched up in disgust. 
“We’re gonna be late!” Sinclair adds, urgently, and Erica mhm’s in agreement. 
Eddie throws his head back with a groan. “Jesus H. Christ! They’re so annoying.” 
“They are,” Steve chuckles, brushing their noses together. “Hey, you wanna come over tomorrow? We can work on that character thing together. Just you and me.” 
Eddie’s eyes widen, lips parted in awe. Steve and D&D? There must be hearts in his eyes right now or bursting out of him like he’s a cartoon. “You’re offering to do nerdy shit with me? God, you’re a dream, Jesus Christ!” He says, hands coming up to cup either side of Steve’s face and peppering kisses all over it- his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, and finally, his lips. 
Steve giggles. “So, that’s a yes?” 
“I’ll be here,” Eddie says with a grin. 
Steve wraps his arms around his neck. “And since the kids won’t be there I expect there to be kissing and flirting.”
Eddie inches closer, smirking. “Hm, you can count on it, sweetheart.” 
This time they don’t even get to kiss before the kids are yelling again, this time in unison. “Eddie!”
Eddie lets go of Steve’s waist and slaps his hands against his face. “Motherfucker!” He groans. Then louder, “I’m coming!” 
Steve shakes his head with a laugh as Eddie hops down from the counter.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Eddie tells him. 
Steve gives him another dopey smile- or rather the same one since it hasn’t left his face at all. “Can’t wait.”
Eddie sweeps in for a quick kiss, one that the kids can’t interrupt, marveling for a second at the fact that he can simply do that now. Then with a final tug to Steve’s flowery apron, he skips out of the kitchen, turning around at the doorway to look at Steve one last time. He’s leaning against the counter, smile firmly plastered on his face and looking at Eddie like- 
Well, exactly like Eddie is looking at him. Lovestruck, he thinks comes close to describing it. And ain’t that something. 
He gives Eddie one of those little finger waves, and in return, Eddie blows him a kiss. Steve’s cheeks turning pink is the last thing he sees before he leaves the kitchen and joins the kids in the living room. 
“Okay, shitheads!” He says, clapping his hands together to get their attention. “Which one of you am I sending home walking?”
417 notes · View notes
anadiasmount · 5 months
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what we started - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: based on this request! while you expected it, you didn’t anticipated it for it to hurt this much. when you’re at you’re lowest is it possible for him to lift you back up? to continue his promise of his underlying love for you? even though he's your brother's best friend?
wc: 4.2k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa🗣️: HAIII!! missed you all! hope everyone spent their breaks and or holidays well spent! here’s a brothers bsf trope fic just bc 🤭 jealous jude and slightly possesive if you squint. bold+italics are lyrics from cool about it by boygenious! i hope you enjoy!🤍
you let out a breath of fresh air, more than thankful to finally get out for winter break. It was a long semester, and don't get started on finals week. you felt like your head would explode any second if you didn't get home in the next hour. no more studying and notes for the next two weeks, just finally getting to sleep in and relax. 
the trip home was easy and quick to your surprise, giving you a chance to get some snacks along the way so you could eat while watching a movie later on. you blocked out any noise from outside, listening to the song cool about it by boygenious which played loudly on your phone, was it a good idea even though your head hurt? yes, yes it was. 
your eyebrows squinted at the amount of cars parked in the driveway and sidewalk. quickly realizing that your brother's friends and yours were here. you groan inwardly, finally thinking you had a moment of peace but were proven wrong. as much as you loved them, and still a certain individual, you wanted to be alone for the night. just you and your stuffed animals. 
before opening the door, a sudden wave of nervousness arrived upon you. your body was telling you to go inside and greet everyone, but then again your head spoke differently and decided to make you overthink. as you reached for the knob you pulled your hand back, was he here? the man you'd avoided since he broke up with you three months ago? 
jude. he was all you thought about despite it hurting. he was a forbidden man you couldn't date, made clear by your brother especially. yet that didn't stop you from going to him. to start a relationship that soon went south. not even a year you lasted together. it was all too complicated for you and him. the man you once snuck into your room so you could spend time with, could now be standing inside the door in front of you. 
with much bravery and courage, and a little pep talk you unlocked the door and felt the warm air rush upon you. you quickly turned to the rack and took off your scarf and long trench coat, fixing the material so you could avoid the cheers and greetings from your friends behind you. you wiped your hands on your jeans smiling and waving at everyone. 
“y/n! you made it!” your friend spoke as she rushed over and almost tumbled you to the ground. “yes i’m here, finally out for the break,” you let out hugging her tight as you still avoided the other faces. you looked around and saw everyone, your heart beating quicker as you locked eyes with familiar brown ones. the ones that taunted your dreams and in real life. 
the unwanted memories of when you were together, the first night at the bar where he’d seen you after so long, the sneaking around to avoid getting caught but added a thrill, the late-night kisses mixed with ice cream, going to his home to see his family, and that night he cut things off, leaving you speechless and thinking you were the reason for it. your chest tightened at the familiar memories, blinking away the tears and thoughts of the things that once happened. 
met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool. and make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos. ask you easy questions about work and school.
you looked away rapidly, but jude's gaze followed you to where you were now seated on the couch, unable to look away. despite it being only three months, you looked so pretty and beautiful to him, your hair slightly longer than last time, still his y/n. your brother's little sister that he grew up along with. the one he teased and made fun of till he realized that was no longer the case. maturing was realizing that all along it was you that brought out the best in him. 
you spoke quietly among with the girls, discussing future plans for the new year, going shopping, to dinner, maybe travel somewhere, and go clubbing to find you a man, your friends words not yours, to which jude clenched his jaw tight. he didn't care if it was only three months, it still bothered him to hear you speak of any man that wasn't him. 
jude kept eavesdropping at your conversation with everyone, even though he was playing video games with your brother. “we're so glad you are here! We missed you so much it felt like ages the last time we saw you, since you're either busy with school or alone in your room,” your friend said which made you giggle nervously and play with your charm bracelet. 
jude kept quiet but kept sideyeing to see your every move. he knew you didn't feel comfortable, and slightly anxious at the amount of people surrounding you that kept asking you questions. if you were together still, he would have pulled you away from everyone making an excuse to be alone. but that wasn't the case anymore and here he was listening to your quiet and shy voice. “we just ordered pizza and wings. will you be joining us?” ask your friend. 
“uhm not tonight. i have plans made already with a uni lad, to go out for celebratory drinks, and i promised him i would go,” you said making your friend let out a small protest, but then gasp. “is he the guy you were telling me about? tall and wavy hair? the finance student?” your other friend asked in a small whisper, to which you nodded slowly and looked away embarrassed. 
jude smiled painfully, leaning back onto the couch, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, then biting the inside of his lip. he was having a hard time controlling his facial expressions, eyes digging holes into you, anger and jealousy washed upon him, fighting the urge to call you out. although he had no right to talk as he knew he had done the same and hung out with other girls. yet jude still felt hurt, sick to his stomach picturing a different man in your life, the urge to scream, to punch a wall, or maybe himself to knock sense into him. 
i'm trying to be cool about it. feelin' like an absolute fool about it. wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it. tellin' myself i can always do without it. knowin' that it probably isn't true. 
you had to lie on the spot, having to accept jax’s invite for drinks. you could no longer stand looking or being in the same room as him. having to feel his eyes on you every minute that passed by. you felt like crying, it was still fairly new to you, but you couldn't even tell your friends because they didn't know about you or jude. You thought you were safe, that you could've handled it, but your body was continuing to process the break up, to hear and see about the girls he hung out with, that looked nothing like you. 
you tried to forget, to forget him for the sake of your brother and friend group. however seeing him thrive in another country surrounded by the support you craved angered you. you knew part of the breakup was your fault, for failing to communicate, to be there for him. but what about those times you needed him and he wasn't there? even from the start the signs were there, you just let yourself get involved to finally be happy, to have him, to love him. 
but i'm trying to forget about it. feelin' like i'm breaking a sweat about it. wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it. tellin' myself one day i'll forget about it. knowin' that it probably isn't true. 
after grabbing a quick drink from the kitchen you walked upstairs to your room, quickly glancing at jude who had a foul scowl on his face, cold eyes, and grim mouth. you debated whether you should go or stay here. your thumb hesitated to text jax and let him know you were going. yet again your body was speaking and letting you know it wouldn't be a good idea. 
you felt so out of place and not yourself, the shock of seeing jude still running through your head. you took a seat on the small bench at the end of your bed, head in your hands as you tried to control your breathing and tears that wanted to release. you let out a small gasp at a knock at your door, standing up and wipe away the one tear that let out, being faced with the man you wanted to avoid. 
“y/n…” jude's voice was gentle and soft as he said your name, closing the door and locking it. you ignored him, your hands rubbing your arms as you felt locked in. the world went quiet when he was with you, just the two of you longing for each other. “y/n look at me baby…” his voice rasped out as he walked close to you, but you walked back to create a distance. you painfully laugh and glance up, the lights suddenly dim. “you shouldn't be here, collin can walk in at any minute,” you remark. 
and now i have to act like i can't read your mind. i ask you how you're doing and i let you lie. but we don't have to talk about it. 
“i don’t care. let him walk in.” 
“jude-”
“i wanna talk, please? i know this feels strange, trust me i feel the same, but it's what we need,” jude says in a relaxed manner, making you mad at the audacity he had to demand things. “no it's what you need. trust me i'm fine, more than okay at where we currently stand,” you say smiling angrily. jude cocked his head to the side, becoming slightly agitated. “really? you wanna do this? i'm not okay where we stand, if anything i want to fix this, us, for the sake of our friends,” he spits out. 
“you want to come in here, and “try” to fix things for our friends?” you quote with your fingers and scoff, “that's the only thing that ever mattered to you! what everyone thinks, your friends, family, your fans, it's all you care about,” you said loudly, running a hand along your forehead and massaging your temples feeling your headache come back. 
“seriously, you wanna bring that up right now?” he looked away laughing, before bringing his attention back to you. you rolled your eyes at his attitude, shaking your head and playing with your charm bracelet once again. this was another reason probably, the constant arguments that you had together that made it not work. “you wanted to talk, so yeah i did bring that up.”
“fine let's talk about jack? or was it jax? the finance student you're going out with tonight? how do you want me to be cool about it? how would your brother feel if i told him?” jude crossed his arms, waiting for you to answer as a few moments of silence passed by. “you're being unreasonable. what does that have to do with our friends?” you asked with a face plastered with confusion.
“for starters, he's going to be around us if you date him,” your eyes widened at his words lips pursing open but continued to listen to him. “i think collin would love to know about this as well. and i wanna know who he is. who is this jax?” jude asked carefully furrowing his brows in a questioning manner, but it made you clench your jaw and swallow the hurtful words that wanted to be spilled. 
i'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning. tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing. even though we know it isn't true. 
“you have no right to ask me anything anymore? you broke up with me remember?” you pointed at yourself as you walked closer to him. “i get what i did wasn’t what you expected but do you really want me to sit here and tell you it doesn’t hurt to see you hook up with different girls? it’s a date jude. a date.” 
you grabbed your jacket and sighed in disbelief. you wanted to leave as soon as possible, you loved your friends but right now you wanted to be far from jude. even three months after breaking up, it felt freshly new to see him again. it ripped open the old scars and you weren’t used to it. before you could leave, jude stopped you by the door. 
“it’s not fair. i used to beg to get your attention, for you to talk to me! all i asked was to talk! a minute out your day, to tell me how you felt to hear your voice! you think it doesn’t hurt me? to see you move on? to hear from our friends, not from you, OUR friends, that you’re going on a date?” jude spit out with fury, and now you were becoming afraid that your friends downstairs would hear you guys. especially collin. 
“we didn’t work jude! you said so yourself that night. you didn’t give me a chance for me to explain myself! you thought of you and only you! i’m sorry i couldn’t give you what you wanted, i tried i did! but you were never there!” you said loudly, the bubble in your throat increasing by the second. 
“you never gave me the chance. you always had the mindset my brother would find out about us, and that’s the only thing that mattered to you! we couldn’t go out, and when we tried it was always an excuse for each of us. we weren’t meant to be,” you said without of breath, your heart now beating faster. 
“so now it’s my fault?” jude scoffed in disbelief, and threw his hands in the air desperately. 
“you’re being ridiculous,” you threw your head back in annoyance, “i'm trying to tell you how i feel about it all. it's what you're asking right? for me to be open with you even though it's too late? we both know jude, i don’t know why you keep wasting your time with me. like you said that night, to you i will always be collin’s little sister,” you say, your voice breaking. jude felt like he would break, to see you crying again, he wanted to take it all back, that night back, and fight for you harder. 
“y/n-”
“you’ll never understand what’s its like. to not be able to have your voice heard? to be that child that’s just there? to have so many people come over but greet you because they feel forced to. is that why you dated me, because you felt sorry for me?” you asked, jude immediately shaking his head. 
a knock came from the door, you and jude quickly glanced at each other worried, “i’m sorry to disturb, but collin came back from outside and he’s asking for you jude,” your friend said with a low voice, giving you a small smile reassuring you she wouldn't say anything about what she heard. “don’t worry, we were just finished, he’s all yours jude,” you said sarcastically, then walked down the stairs as jude chased you after you. 
there was still so much to be said, and he didn't want you to leave thinking he was only with you because of that. it wasn’t true, he was with you because he loved you. not because you were his little sister or because he felt sorry for you, but because for once in his life he finally found someone who brought more happiness to him than anyone else could. 
“maybe it's for the best,” your friend spoke quietly to him, patting a hand on his shoulder. jude watched you walk out again from his life, this time you weren't standing alone, but instead with a man who could probably give you all you deserved. although he still refused to lay on these terms, no matter who you were with, a part of you will always be linked to him. 
“jude hurry up man! the game is starting soon!,” he was forced out of his thoughts, sending a false smile to your oblivious brother. collin had no idea of the two of you, and never suspected anything which made jude’s guilt rise even more. even after repeatedly saying you were off limits, something about you couldn't keep jude away. he knew it was wrong, to fall for his best mate's sister, but why did it feel so right? like you were the person destined to meet jude?
you wouldn’t even give jax a chance even if he was the last man on earth. despite being the perfect match for you, something inside you always loved jude. you had two boyfriends before jude, and the each taught you something. at the early stages with jude, it felt careless, two rebel teens chasing for love. but you wanted security, and you struggled to communicate that, pushing him away because you could never fully speak it or let it be known. 
the so-called date went fine, but your mind kept tracing back to seeing jude after three months, him in your room, his tearful eyes watching you leave to be here with jax. it pained you to see him hurt again because of you again. you also knew it wasn't right to lead jax on, to be here so you could escape the curly-headed man that was probably still at your home. 
jax did understand though, a man can always sense when a woman isn't interested, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable or forced. after a long shared night filled with laughter and deep talks, he kissed your cheek and wished you the best of luck. “If you need anything, please dont hesitate to reach out, okay?” he gave you knowing eyes, making you laugh an nod. 
“thank you once again! be safe! and let me know when you are home!” you waved him goodbye and unlocked the door to your home for the second time that evening. it was around eleven pm, the cars that once filled your driveway were gone. you sighed comfortably at the house being silent, thankful the living room was cleaned, and the kitchen besides the dishes. 
you still weren't sleepy, as you were used to being up at this time to review material for your classes. you quickly washed them, and also dried a set of laundry to be fixed in the morning. you went upstairs and took a quick shower with hot water to soothe the aching muscles and headache. after changing into a silk camisole, you get startled by the doorbell. You tuck yourself into the covers like a little kid, reaching for your phone as it buzzed. 
open the door for me. i'm outside. 
you let out a deep breath, quickly slipping downstairs and opening the door letting jude in who was now wearing a full black nike tracksuit. your eyes stared into his intently, feeling your pulse race just by looking at his handsome features. “you’re back again?” you asked quietly walking back upstairs, jude following behind. 
“we didn’t get to finish talking. i didn't want to go back to spain the way were,” he replied closing the door and walked over to where you were sat, on the small bench by your bed. you stared at the ground, as jude rubbed his hand on your thigh in a comfort manner. he let out a deep sigh that made you lean your head on his shoulder.  
“it wasn’t true. i didn’t date you because i felt sorry for you. i fell over heels for the woman who once in my life loved me for who i was, and gave me the chance to be who i am without caring. i know it seemed like i cared about others, but all i wanted was to protect you from the harm they could do to us. but in the end it was us who caused it,” jude joked which made you let out a stifled small laugh. 
“i'm sorry y/n. for what i said to you that night and those past times. if i could take it all back i would. you didn't deserve that, and it hurts me because i'm the reason for it, “ jude said painfully, he struggled to find the words. you pulled back from his shoulder, walking around to sit yourself on his lap, to wipe the tear that escaped his pretty brown eyes. he had been crying before coming here, his eyes sunken and bloodshot red. “don’t cry jude…”
“do you still love me?” he asked unsurely, biting his lip. he looked up almost taking your silence as a painful answer, but was rewarded with you nodding. “so so much, i can’t not stop loving you and its scary because we both live different worlds. those times where you just wanted a small answer and i couldn't give it to you? i'm sorry for making you feel like that, for not making you feel wanted, i thought… i thought…” you sniffled and broke into a small sob, tears coming down your cold cheeks. 
“hey, hey, hey, shh baby it's okay… just take deep breaths… it's just me and you okay?” jude gabbed your hands and kissed them gently, “don't blame just yourself, we both faulted our breakup, it wasn't meant to be then, but now that we learned from that we can avoid it,” he said with a small sad smile. 
“when you left again, everything felt unexplored and out of place. i sat by my window and lingered for you to come back, like those times you snuck in here… i took lengthier ways to school to avoid the areas we once walked by. i even ate those stupid gummy worms you love so much,” you said sniffling and laughing. “i can’t do that anymore, because i want you back jude. every second that passed by without you, it hurt me. it still does knowing it feels like were strangers again.”
jude's eyes went wild at your admission, “i get that part of it was because i couldn't communicate, and i'm working on that. you just have to trust me and give me some time, it all felt so rushed and sudden, and i thought you cared about them and not me at times,” you finally said after waiting almost a year to say. 
“i will always care about you. when i left that night i knew i made a mistake. i felt like an idiot because i know you struggled at times to say what you wanted. and i know i only thought of me but i promise it isnt going to be like that anymore, baby. as long as we can work and talk it out, that's what matters most to us right?” you nodded to his question. 
“no more caring about what they think. as long as were both happy and in love, it will keep me sane. that day will come, but when times right,” jude continued referring to telling your friends and brother. “i hope you know i don't regret a single thing of it, for falling in love with you despite you being my best friend's sister,” he smirked. “good because at the end of the day, knowing its forbidden, it feels right being with you like this. here alone where it's just us…” you say shyly. 
“my shy girl still hasn't changed has she? still so shy that she can't even look at me properly when i’m trying to admire her beauty,” jude teased you which made you shake your head. “although she wasn't so shy when she left for jack? or was it jax?” jude frowned. “he’s nothing, just an excuse for me to not see you…” you smiled evilly as you confessed. 
“so nothing’s going on with you and jack? or jax was it?” he asked teasingly, making you smack his shoulder playfully. “no now stop i before it does become something serious,” you warn him to which he gives you a taken-at-back look. “not while you’re still mine baby… always have been and always will be. let jack or jax know that, ” jude said seriously, kissing your jawline. 
you sunk into his warm embrace, feeling at home and safe in his arms. “who would’ve thought i’d be with my brother's best friend huh?” you say feeling his warm soft lips trace from your jaw to your lips. “definitely not me,” jude said shaking his head no, paying attention to the small shiver you released as he kissed your pulse. you had to hold back the small moan that wanted to release at his next words and movements. 
“kiss me y/n. exactly how you want and need.” 
597 notes · View notes
blue-jisungs · 5 months
Note
Hii! I hope you're having a nice day or night I would like to request Skz reacting to their idol!s/o performing on MAMA Awards with a very cool and dark concept with their own group, something similar to Itzy's 2021 Mama performance or (G)I-DLE's MMA 2022 performance? Ty!!!
s/o performing on MAMA with dark concept ♡
author's note. thank u for the req!! i hope u like the outcome ^^ i tried my best, i added some like,, solo stage moments??
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┆彡 CHAN [ 찬 ]
so so so soooo proud
staring at you in awe all the time like,, with all due respect to your members – he’s mesmerized
not only by your beauty, duh but your outfit is something that he just can’t help but stare
he’s extremely proud because he knew how nervous you were before the performance
but oh dude when you drop a diss at mama
the kids look at him in shock but he didn’t know either
the mischievous look in your eye makes him even more mesmerized
after the performance chan mentions it, not to make people suspect anything
"the performances were really, really good. personally, i enjoyed the dark ones"
mhm we all know which specific one !!
┆彡 MINHO [ 민호 ]
minho is as anxious as you — it’s first time performing such a dark concept and you’re going to have a solo in it
he knew it since he helped you practice
hence why he’s nervous. not to get him wrong, he knows you’ll slay but it’s a hard dance break
he gets chills the second you enter the stage, a powerful walk along your members
the performance is smooth-sailing and then there’s time for your solo
and keeping it short: you destroyed the stage
minho couldn’t be more proud, especially that you were on everyone’s lips in the industry even weeks after mama
┆彡 CHANGBIN [ 창빈 ]
mf can’t sit still in one place when he knows it’s your turn perform
his members have to calm him down 😭
you wouldn’t tell him what’s the concept – only that it’s dark and cool concept
he mouths the lyrics of the song, amazed by the stage and outfits
he’s kind of disappointed when it’s over and light go out
but then boom, suddenly there’s a light shining on you and your leader
changbin frowns, not sure what’s happening – and suddenly you have a solo stage, performing a quite sexy dance to tease your next album 🫣
(the members have to tug his clothes to remind him to close his mouth)
┆彡 HYUNJIN [ 현진 ]
he’s more excited than you 😭
asks you to send pics of your outfit and makes up and everything !!
absolutely stunned once you enter the stage w your members, dark and elegant suits on
he was sure that you told him everything mhmm
but when suddenly your members run up to you and seem to rip your clothes, he lets out a loud gasp (drawing attention from the idols nearby)
and suddenly there’s a reveal of gold shimmering dress underneath, your maknae putting a crown on your head
he’s so so confused but loves it, his inner artist is buzzing with excitement how to capture that on canvas once he’s home
and he grabs onto chan with tight grip when you hint the next album name, pointing at the crown
be ready to have a lecture ehh didn’t you spoil anything!! why he didn’t know!! and how proud he is<3
┆彡 JISUNG [ 지성 ]
flustered babyyyyy >.<
he thought it’s a cute concept because your latest album was lovey-dovey
but his mouth falls agape as soon as a mysterious melody reaches his ears and two of your members come in, dressed head to toe in black elegant outfits
he noticed there’s a ?? small podium ?? but didn’t pay any attention to it once you joined your members on stage, also dressed in a mind-blowing dark dress with silver jewelry
you performed one of your popular songs and then three of your members had a cute solo stage, a dance break with a song from your newest album
but the music got cut and the light focused on you, smokey makeup and… fake blood on your face?
you jumped from the podium (like that one wony stage hehe) and your members formed a regular ending position with screens hinting that’s a beginning of new era
dude was speechless and for a moment forgot he’s an idol,, fanboying over his cool n badass gf ^^
(all the fansites thought its adorable meanwhile his member were giggling at him hehe)
┆彡 FELIX [ 필릭스 ]
woah there do you want him (and your fans) dead??
you haven’t spoiled anything to him and now he’s shocked, flustered, amused, amazed and all the other things at once ;; his brain is going 28202729 km per hour like!!
because goddamn you look so hot in such concept…!
and when you start rapping at your solo stage, throwing a snarky comment at mama there and here
felix is just blushing and giggling like a teenage girl,, but also he’s kind of feeling intimidated by your sudden powerful aura
not that he minds tho~
will fight the haters of ur performance if he sees any, literally defending you like a lioness defends her cubs (on anon accs tho lol)
┆彡 SEUNGMIN [ 승민 ]
to be honest your performance is the only reason why he’s at mama …
he knew how excited you were abt it, saying it’s gonna tease your next comeback
so naturally, he was intrigued
but he wasn’t expecting that
you literally owned the stage,, all of your members too ofc
but there was just something so fresh seeing you in a dark concept with smokey makeup,, kicking a prop chair and loosening your tie…
he was stunned!!!
and seungmin couldn’t help but feel the overflowing sense of pride that it’s his girl right here, catching everyone’s attention
( especially after you cursed in a part of a song that was supposed to be censored )
┆彡 JEONGIN [ 정인 ]
this man almost made you spoil the whole performance for him 😭😭
he’s just as excited as you are, buzzing with excitement
he was even squeezing chan’s hand once you entered the stage
everything was so enchanting – the rock version of your newest song, the mysterious background, dark and elegant outfits
when suddenly a backup dancer handed you a guitar
and you had an electric guitar solo, the accessories you had shimmering in the light
literally everyone was focused at you and your skills, jeongin staring in awe and mouth hanging open
( he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that “that’s my gf y’all!!” but sadly he couldn’t !!!? <\\3 )
after the solo you joined your members in finishing the choreography,,, he even missed the big spoiler for the next album that your main rapper did in the choreo
bc he was so so focused at you,, he could see how proud you were
and so was he!! expect a lot of kisses n praises after the performance!!
masterlist <3
taglist. @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @litepowee ,, @ocean-minho ,, @lessthanpast ,, @s-e-s-a-I-e-n-e ,, @fire-08
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joelmillersmunch · 2 months
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harvest moon (joel miller x reader)
Summary: Joel Miller can't keep his eyes off of you. And damn, that ass is nice.
Ratings/Warnings: Fluff, some cussing, ass staring. Mostly just Joel Miller being in love and Tommy Miller being a little shit. Age gap, but both reader and Joel are grown adults (like reader is 30s Joel is early 50s) Joel has some anxiety, but nothing too descriptive. Canon divergence. I hope that's everything!
Word count: 845
A/N: I was listening to Harvest Moon by Neil Young the other day and thought to myself, "Joel Miller Joel Miller Joel Miller Joel Miller Joel Miller." Yeah, you get the gist. This was in my drafts from a few weeks ago and so I thought I would finish it. I hope you like it! Just something short and sweet. :) Imagine this gif but as Joel Miller and his beautiful greying hair....
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“Darlin’, you know I don’t wanna do this either, but we gotta,” Joel says, a slightly annoyed gruff in his voice. It’s not like he’s annoyed with you, but he’s getting tired of pleading to get this show on the road. He hears you call back something from upstairs and he rolls his eyes, shuffling his way to the bathroom in which you’re currently occupying. 
“Joel,” You start when he enters through the door. “I don’t mind going, and you know that. What I mind is you not tellin’ me till twenty minutes ago!” You say with a scowl. Your eyes lock through the mirror and he softens.
“”M sorry, sweet girl. Tommy didn’t tell me till we were leaving work today. I had about as much of a heads up as you did,” He says. You can tell he’s sorry, so with a soft huff you turn to face him.
“Well, he can’t be mad if we’re a few minutes late then. I’ll be done shortly, honey. Please stop stressing,” You say, giving him a soft kiss to his cheek. And just like that, everything was okay again. He needed you to remind him that everything is okay. I mean, the world is still ending, but everything is okay. Ellie and Tommy are safe. You are safe. He can’t ask for much more than that. He’s been having some anxiety issues lately, but you’ve been his saving grace. You make everything okay. With a nod, he leaves you in the bathroom alone. Sure enough, you emerge from the bathroom just a few minutes later ready to go. You grab your coats and make your way over to the bar.
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Joel can’t keep his eyes off of you. All night he’s been staring you down from a seat at the bar, lightly sipping a beer. You’ve been dancing all evening with your friends..and Tommy. It was per his request for his birthday. “One dance, please. It’ll be so fun!” The younger brother pleads. You laugh and roll your eyes at him. He looks charming in his get up paired with a handsome cowboy hat on top of his head. He’s always been fond of you, but you always laugh it off and tell him to find someone his own age. He’d usually laugh and tell you to do the same, being that Joel is quite a few years older than you. Joel would usually mumble something and pout as you and Tommy continued to poke fun at Joel’s expense. You all know that Tommy’s crush isn’t serious, so you agree and follow your brother in law to the floor. 
The song changes as the two of you find a spot, and a lively dance song starts. Joel watches the two of you from the bar. God, your ass looks so good in those jeans. They fit perfectly, sculpting your hips and figure so well that he can’t help but swoon over you. He watches as you and Tommy hold hands, swinging in circles like two teenagers. Tommy places the cowboy hat on your head and gives a loud, “YEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW,” across the bar. Joel laughs as you buckle over in a fit of giggles. Joel stands up, finishes his beer and slowly makes his way to you as the song comes to an end. 
“Alright, give her back to me.” He says playfully, but you know part of him is serious. Tommy laughs and gives you a pat on your arm.
“Thanks, darlin’. If you get tired of my brother any time soon, you know where to find me.” He says and shuffles away laughing. Joel rolls his eyes and pulls you closer. The next song begins, the simple guitar strum taking him back to a simpler time. Harvest Moon by Neil Young plays overhead softly, and the two of you begin to sway along. 
“That fuckin’ guy, I swear,” He says and you can’t help but laugh at him. He stares down at you, confused as to what you’re making such a fuss about. “What are you lookin’ at?” He asks. 
“You are such a silly man, Joel Miller,” You say and smile at him. You grab the back of his neck to pull his face closer to yours. “There ain’t no man better than you. I want you. I am yours.” You say, and you take the cowboy hat from your head and place it on his. He chuckles and pulls you even closer, savoring the moment. 
Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I’m still in love with you
On this harvest moon
He leans down, cowboy hat slipping down his head, and gives you a slow kiss. The harmonica and guitar sing in the background. Everything feels perfect. 
“My girl, I love you,” He says. He feels you smile against his lips, never taking yours away. “I love you, too.”
Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I’m still in love with you
On this harvest moon
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A/N: dividers by @saradika-graphics thanks so much!!
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januaryembrs · 1 month
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I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE | Marc Spector x reader
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Request: @happyhauntt says - okay i am BEGGING for a fic based on the song 'forest fire' by brighton (be warned that shit HURTS) but i fully cannot decide between poe dameron, steven/marc or spencer reid so i am giving you full creative direction and i look forward to getting my heart ripped out!!
Description: Marc had always carried her with him, since they were small kids playing pirates in the yard, before things got messed up by grown up feelings and burdens. It's not until he sees her twenty years later, he realises he should have saved her.
length: 3.9k
Warnings: Heavy warnings for childhood / domestic abuse/neglect (both from Marc and also reader has a neglectful father) warnings for alcohol, the cave scene, drowning, death etc. you asked for angst, so I served!
authors note: sorry this took so damn long, today isn't even my day off and I have been too exhausted to even look at my computer, but I hope you like it!
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Before Randall was too little to be part of his adventures, Marc used to play on his own in the yard. 
Usually that entailed kicking a football at the wooden fence that lined their garden, trying to knock it off his chest when it would come bouncing back the way he’d seen the professionals do it, even if it had led to three milk teeth coming loose already. 
But there weren’t kids on his street to play with, at least that’s what he thought until the one day he kicked his ball a little too high and watched it fly right over the top of the fence, bouncing into the neighbour's yard, a soft “ouch” meeting his ears. 
In minutes, a little head appeared over the wall, beady eyes frowning down at him, and he realised it was a girl around his age, maybe a little younger. 
“Did you lose this?” She held up his soccer ball he was worried he was going to have to kiss goodbye to forever, the small digits of her other hand holding onto the fence tightly. 
“Yeah! Sorry, I didn’t mean to kick it so high,” Marc said, and with no more explanation than that, she threw it over to his side of the partition, and her tiny head disappeared back below the fence line. 
He felt stunned. He knew there were moving boxes over that way a couple weeks ago, but as far as he could see there was only a man living there on his own, a scowl on his face most days. Marc had seen him shouting at the other kids on his block to stop riding their bikes in front of his house because it ‘upset the dog’, though Marc had yet to see for himself this canine friend he was speaking about. 
But there was a girl living there! A real life girl who spoke to him; granted he had lobbed a heavy soccer ball at her, from what her distaste told him, and he wondered if perhaps, despite the grumpy look on her face he realised mirrored the man he’d seen living there, that she might like to even make friends with her neighbour. 
“Wait!” He yelled, running up to the fence where she had slipped away from him, grabbing on to the top and pulling himself up to the point he was on his very tippy toes and he could only just about see her yard. 
The grass was unkempt, which was odd because Marc’s own dad cut the grass every fortnight, and there were planks of wood with nails sticking out of them strewn across the side of the shed she had used to pull herself up with. He fought the urge to cringe in disgust, because there, looking up at him from where she was making a daisy chain in the long, dry grass, alone in a pink plaid shorts and a white, dirt stained top, was the girl. 
“Do you want to play?” Marc asked, his foot nearly slipping under him where he was trying to rest it on the wood to take a closer look, “I have tennis, or swing ball we could play?” 
She looked interested at the mop of curly, black hair for a moment, before she looked back at the house that he had still yet to see any sign of a dog. 
“I’m not sure my dad would like it…” She said cautiously, almost whispering to him, picking the soil under her nails. 
“My mom could come around and get you, she could talk to him,” He offered, because this was when his mother was still mom and not Wendy. 
Before she had yet to flip his world entirely upside down with her cruel hands and vicious tongue. Before Steven. 
She seemed unsure, biting her bottom lip and stroking her arms like she was giving herself a cuddle. But she nodded, looking up at him, and he tried to hide just how excited he was to finally have someone to play with. 
“I’m Marc,” He said, grinning at her, his tongue poking between the space where his adult teeth were only just growing back in. 
She told him her name back, and it was the first time he understood what a crush was. 
“Marc, I’m not sure we should be doing this,” She said, grabbing his hand so tight he thought his heart might explode. 
“It’s okay, we come here all the time, don’t we, RoRo?” He reassured, looking back to where Randall, now a few years older and big enough to play with them, held onto the side of the cave, his own face nervous. 
“All the time!” The little boy echoed, because Marc knew he had a bit of a thing for her as well, because she was older and cool and smelled like a field of flowers and he hated seeming like he was scared, even though he was. 
He was just a kid. 
They were just kids. 
And being kids, they stumbled into danger without realising it, not even when the rain started coming down outside torrentially and they had to pause their game of pirates to run for cover. They hadn’t expected, in their childish excitement to continue the adventure, that the water would start pooling into the cave; that it would fill up like a basin, whether they were in there or not, and it wasn’t until the screaming started that they realised they were in the kind of danger that required an adult. 
Marc was the first one to get out, his hair soaked, his heart racing, and he used a grown up word he heard his dad use sometimes because he could have sworn they were both right behind him. 
And if that had been true, then where were they? 
He called her name, debated going back in there himself to see where they had gone, then he yelled for RoRo, because she didn’t seem to be answering. 
And there was only silence, except a clap of thunder overhead that said the rain was going to get worse; was not going to stop for hours. 
Which was when he ran to get his dad. 
By the time Elias got there, his glasses wet and steamed, his thick thatch of curls too similar to Marc’s soaked through, all he could see was a head of hair peeking out of the mouth of the cave, and his heart sank. 
He dragged her out of the dark water, arms under her shoulders as he rolled her on her front and started patting her back, trying to get her to spit some of the water out, because her face was ice and her skin was soaked and her playsuit was ripped from where she’d snagged it on the rocks. 
Marc remembered crying into his hands, gaze flicking back to the cave to see if RoRo was right behind her, if he was just waiting to be pulled out as she had been. 
But there was nothing. Nothing but rain water and moss and those damn rocks he’d been gripping onto not an hour earlier. 
His heart leapt when she spluttered finally, after his dad had thrown her over his knee and taken to giving her a one handed heimlich right between her shoulder blades. She spat the water out, her body shivering immediately, eyes bleary as they looked around as if she expected to still be in that dark hole in the wall, and Elias set her down on the grass to go look for his youngest son. 
“Stay with her, Marc,” He barked, uncharacteristically sharp for him though Marc guessed it was fear, and took off towards the cave again. Marc pulled her into his arms, and it was only then they started wailing together. 
They sat there for an hour when the rescue team finally arrived, a medical team with warm hands and even warmer blankets ushering them to the safety of the back of an ambulance, and the last thing Marc remembered for that horrible day was sitting on the stretcher with her pressed against his side, trembling under the reflective wrap they’d been tucked in that made them look like baked potatoes, wishing he had never suggested they go in that damn cave. 
“You’re leaving?” She said, her lip quivering, her eyes lined with tears. They sat on his bed, his duffel bag already packed, his acceptance letter burning daggers into his head from his nightstand, “Military? Marc, just think about this for a minute-”
“I have thought about it. I’m not some dumb kid making rash decisions, I want this,” Except he didn’t, not really. What he meant to say was he wanted to leave, to run away and never come back, but the idea of never seeing her again was too difficult to think about. 
She thought about it for a moment, and he held her hand when he saw her face really start to crumble then. “If you go, I’ll have no one left. You’re all I have,”
He didn’t hide the fact he saw how nervous she was when Marc would pick her up from her house and her father would see her out the door, a nasty, inebriated glare in his eyes at the Specter boy. He saw all the times she would tiptoe around the floorboards, the way he knew too well, as if she was scared of what would happen if she took up too much space, made too much noise. Or when his mother had been kind, way back before any of this had happened, and had fussed over her pretty hair, had piled food on her plate because Wendy said she needed the goodness, she had locked up entirely and looked at his mother as if she was an alien. 
Even now, when they were both seventeen, nearly adults in the grand scheme of things, he knew her father was cruel. 
“I’m sorry,” He said honestly, and he felt his own throat clogging up with real emotion he only ever let himself show when he was with her, “When I get a place of my own, I’ll come back here, and we can pack your bags together, and we can live far away from all of this,” 
And it sounded like he was spinning her a fantasy; which he was. She felt like an idiot for believing him, for flashing him a small smile and leaning her forehead to his which was the closest they ever got to admitting how they really felt about each other. 
He wanted to kiss her then, before he left to start his new life, one where they could be happy together, and he made a promise to himself that when he came back for her that would be the first thing he would do. 
He could see it now; he would be in some kind of flashy car with the top rolled down, a man grown from the regime and fitness they would teach him in the army and she would come running to him like an angel parting the clouds, like a dream that was finally within reach, and he would kiss her then, so hard it would make up for the time they had lost, the time they had grieved together, it might even make up for that day she nearly died because of him. 
So he left her, that fantasy of coming back to her keeping him going in the months of training, during roll call and exams and the small, clinical portions they would serve him in the military. 
But that day never came. Somewhere between losing himself to the alter that had formed and led a full life separately to his, between hiding Steven from the ugly truth and becoming a mercenary after dropping from the army, he tucked the dream away as a what if, and he didn’t return back to that house where his mother had caused so much hell. 
Not until the second day of her shiva, that was. 
-
“Marc?” He forgot how sweet his name sounded from her lips, and he hated to admit it in the middle of his drunken state, but he’d wished he’d never heard it again in his entire life. 
Because the second his front door opened, and a woman in a long black dress, heels and lace gloves stared back at him with a face that looked similar to a girl he once knew, only a notch between her brows that said she had done nothing but frown for twenty years, he wished he had never seen her again. 
She was beautiful, more beautiful than he ever gave her credit for, yet she looked tired. Sunken. Like she had wept and screamed alongside all the frowning. 
“Marc,” She said it more determined this time, pacing down the stairs to his home, her footsteps rushed and worried, “Are you okay?,” 
He knew he must look like a mess. He hadn’t stopped crying for three days since he got the first phone call from his father in almost two decades, since he’d learned his mother had passed, and he was already a bottle of whiskey deep by the time he’d stepped out the cab onto the street he grew up on. 
He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought she would be there. He guessed she would be far away from this place, just like he had been, in a mansion with a 401k and a dog and a neurosurgeon for a husband. She had always deserved it. 
But here she was, grabbing the bottle out of his hand gently, rubbing a hand over his shoulder like not a day had gone by that they hadn’t seen one another, and it didn’t take him much convincing at all to pull her into a hug he had needed since the day he left. 
“My mum’s dead,” Marc said, sounding like a little boy again when he wept into her neck, squeezing her body to his, and he felt her rubbing his back soothingly. 
“I know, Marc, I’m so sorry,” She hummed, and she smelled like a fancy floral perfume he couldn’t afford to give her before, “I know you must be feeling complicated,”
He nodded, because he couldn’t have put it better himself. He felt complicated. 
“I missed you,” She said, like it was a confession, and he cried harder, his face burying into the crook of her shoulder. 
“I missed you too,” 
“How’s Steven? Is he still around?” She asked, pulling him away to root through her pocket for the pack of tissues she’d kept handy for the day. He took a deep breath, rubbing his sleeved arm over his face to dry it even the slightest. He could feel his cheeks sopping wet from where he had sobbed in the back of the cab like a madman all the way here. 
But she was still fussing over him, and she looked just as pretty as he had remembered her, sitting on his bed that day, if not only a little more tired under her eyes.
Ofcourse she had known about Steven. How else was he supposed to explain the times they would be playing boyfriend-girlfriend together and he would become a different person. 
Sometimes Steven would remember her too, because it didn’t matter to her who he was, she was his best friend either way. He remembered a girl who smelled like summer, sitting on the swings and eating ice lollies together, taking it in turns to push each other, blue tongued and happy. 
“Yeah, sometimes,” He replied quietly, as she handed him the tissues, “He misses you, too,” 
She smiled at him with her lips pressed tightly.
“I take it you’re not coming in?” She said in a careful tone, and he shook his head quickly. 
“No- I just can’t,” He said, tears welling up in his eyes in seconds, and she wrapped him in another hug immediately, soothing his hurt as fast as it had bubbled back up.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to,” She hummed, stroking down his back gently, and he hugged her tightly as if she was the only thing keeping him together. 
He opened his mouth to speak when his front door opened again, and he worried for a second that it was Elias. 
Instead, he saw a girl no older than five emerge in a cute, poofy dress that met her knees, her hair tucked into a neat braid, lace gloves matching her own as she lingered at the doorway. 
And perhaps the thing that struck him the quickest; she was the damn near double of the girl he’d hit in the head with his soccer ball in that very yard. 
“Mommy,” The girl said in a gentle coo, her eyes empathetic as she met his gaze, more empathetic than he knew children could feel. But, he supposed, if she was her daughter then it didn’t surprise him in the slightest. 
His best friend turned, her face smoothing out into something peaceful when she saw her little girl, and he knew then she was born to be a mother. Nothing like his own, nothing like Wendy, and he cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. 
She was a mother. 
“Yes, baby?” She said, half stepping towards her child as the girl stumbled down the first step towards them, and she was quick to swoop her into her grasp and onto her hip. 
“I need to use the bathroom,” The girl said shyly, peeking a glance at him over her mum’s shoulder, and she waved at him with tiny fingers. 
He waved back, even if the sight of her had dumped a bucket of cold water all over his body. 
“Alright, baby. Just wait in the foyer, I’ll come take you in just a second, I’m just speaking to my friend right now,” She said, stroking over the back of the girl’s hair softly, and kissing her chubby cheek. “Is that okay?”
She nodded, and her mum kissed her once more, plopping her back on the top step to direct her back into the house. And they were alone again. 
She looked at him guiltily, stepping back towards him as she fiddled with her sleeves nervously, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t get childcare and I don’t really know anyone in state anymore-”
“No, it-it’s fine,” He stammered, feeling her watching him for his reaction carefully, “What’s her name?” 
“Dalilah,” She replied, rubbing hands up her arms to calm herself. 
“Where’s her dad?” Marc asked, hoping he didn’t sound bitter, but the whiskey made it sound like a bite. 
She shrugged, “He wanted the cars and the house when we split; I wanted her,” She said calmly, like it wasn’t one bomb after another to be dropped on him. 
He knew nothing about her life. He had tried to run away from that promise he’d made her for twenty years, because he knew he would never be good enough for her; that he could never give her the happiness she deserved, even before he had become the Moon Knight. 
At his core, he would rot her, ruin her. He would destroy her.
And yet hearing it was just the two of them alone, he felt like he could take out the piece of shit who ran out on them barehanded and go home to sleep next to her soundly.  
He felt like perhaps, as much grief and anguish as returning back to that house had caused him, perhaps this was his second chance. His chance to be what she needed, to be something good.
He would be so good to them. He would give them everything if she asked. 
“I’m not really in town much, especially with my dad still around,” She said, gesturing to where her yard still stood, full of junk and a dog that had supposedly been kicking strong for two decades, “But I would love to see you again. Lila has school most days so you’re free to come over any day of the week if you want it to be just us; I work at home,” She scribbled an address about two hours away down on a piece of paper, along with her phone number, handing it to his distraught face with a sad smile, somewhat hopeful he would take the olive branch she was shaking his way. 
He took it with a nod, his bottom lip still trembling before he bit it hard enough to force it to stop. He would love to see her, if he would even allow himself something good. If he would just let go of the resentment for everything that reminded him of that time, he could see the two of them healing one another slowly, but surely. 
She could fix him. And he could fix her. The way it had always been with them. 
“Yeah, I’d love that,” Marc said softly, allowing her to grab him tightly one more time, “I really did miss you,” 
She laughed, not properly more like a sad breath out, squeezing him to her, “I loved you so much. I never let you go, you know that?” 
He tried not to sob, almost holding her so maddeningly hard she couldn’t ever leave. 
But he had to let go eventually, and he watched her walk back up the stairs to where his family mourned, her face glinting with something hopeful, holding a flashlight out to him where he was walking around in the dark blindly.
He tried to smile back, though he knew it wouldn’t be the same, wouldn't be truly untouched by the grief he wallowed in. 
And by the time he got back to his hotel room, alone, even more drunk, Khonshu had another job for him that would whisk him away for two weeks. But he kept her number, the piece of paper gripped in his hand tight, like he was determined to keep his promise this time around.
He dialled her number exactly fifteen days later, his body aching, his nose bloodied, but something lighter in his chest at the prospect of seeing her again. The light in his dark, the girl on the swings he’d once pretended to marry during their game of house (the rings had been tiny daisy chains she’d woven together just that morning, their officiant was Randall who could barely ride a bike let alone remember the vows he was supposed to say.) 
Only when the phone got put through, a different woman answered, and the light flickered back out into something cold and dark and vengeful. 
“Oh, oh god, you haven’t heard?” He swallowed thickly, “She was hit by a drunk driver last week picking Lila up from school,” The woman, her cousin, explained, her voice teary and solemn, and he didn’t doubt she’d had to make a thousand of these calls the past few days, “They said it was quick, and Lila went fast so she wasn’t in any pain- and she was only in the ambulance for ten minutes before her heart stopped so she wasn’t hurting long either-” 
But he put the phone down, his eyes wide, his body numb, his chest empty and lonely. 
Because the very last bit of good in him was gone; because everything he touched was cursed and tainted from the offset. 
It took what felt like twenty cups of whiskey for him to black out that night, he knew sleep would evade him, he knew not to even bother trying. And Jake Lockely woke up for him, something mean and hateful in the black of his eyes. 
He didn’t care who, but someone was going to pay for his cielo being taken from them. 
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feelbokkie · 28 days
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i'll be here for you
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☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️
genre: sick fic, angst
pov: 2nd person
description: Seungmin can tell instantly from your voice that something is wrong, so he drops everything to take care of you.
pairing: bf!seungmin x gn!reader
warnings: hospitals, swearing, mentioning of food and eating, open ending, talking about weight, reference to death
word count: 3,054
a/n: allow me to be self indulgent and dramatic and over exaggerate for a moment.
©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
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Mong, mong. Mong, mong. 
You sluggishly pull your phone out of your pocket, sitting as you do so. You let out a long, shaky sigh before plastering on a smile and answering the phone. You’re not sure why. It’s not like he can see your face through the phone. But maybe smiling will trick the rest of your body into thinking everything is okay.
“My Seungminnie!” You cheer into the phone, your face winces in pain from the sudden movement.
“Hi Y/n,” You can picture the small smile that’s slowly creeping onto his face vividly. “Did you just get home?”
“No,” you lean your back against your headrest. “I got home earlier than I thought I would. I read the end time on my schedule wrong.”
You can hear the chaos in the background. Changbin’s voice booms over everyone as he yells about something to do with Minho and Hyunjin. You can make out Felix’s faint laughter too. “You should’ve called me.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt practice. If I called you, you would have worried. How’s dance practice?”
“Hmm, Minho hyung has glared at Chan hyung twice, put Hyunjin in a headlock, and threatened all of us with various cooking styles about six times. He’s going to be sending me to you as soup.”
“Soupmin doesn’t sound too bad. Tell him to send side dishes,”
“Speaking of which, did you have a good lunch today?”
“I did,” You lie. “What about you? Did Minho let you eat or is he punishing you guys for not picking up the choreography?”
“We nailed 2 songs so he treated us. I had kimchi-jjigae!”
“You’re going to turn into kimchi-jjigae at this rate. You had it almost every day this week.”
“You just said you’d like Soupmin! ...Ugh, hyung, get off,” you hear a loud slap and some more laughter through the phone. The background laughter and chatter quickly becomes distant. “Sorry, Chan hyung lives in my bubble. What did you have for lunch?”
Click!
You assume that Seungmin had enough of whatever is going on in the practice room and left to talk to you somewhere peaceful. “Just some leftovers... I had some rice from dinner a couple of days ago so I make kimchi fried rice with some chicken.”
Seungmin is quiet on the other end for a second, “What did you really have?”
“I just told you,” You sit up, shifting your phone to your other hand and pressing it against your ear again.
“You’re hiding something. A couple of days ago you said you had pasta. What did you have for lunch today?”
“Kimchi—“ You double down.
Seungmin lets out a loud sigh, “This is a silly thing to lie about. You know that, right?”
“I’m not—“ You pause as the pain in your stomach reminds you that it's still there. “Fine, I just had some soda for lunch.”
“That’s all?”
“I told you, I wasn’t working as long as I thought—“
“You’re not eating properly and I can tell by your voice that you aren’t sleeping properly... Are you sick?”
“Probably,” You give up. When Seungmin has his mind set on something, it's difficult to argue with him.
“What do you mean ‘probably?’”
You bite your lower lip and run your free hand through your hair. “It’s nothing,”
“What’s going on?” It's subtle, the way his voice wavers with worry. If you weren't tuned into most of his habits, you would have missed it.
“Seungmin—“ You try to say calmly, wincing in pain as you lean back down against your headrest.
“Don’t try to lie or play it off. Something is wrong,” His voice raises an octave. You're not sure you can remember the last time he even slightly raised his voice at you. Even in a joking manner.
“…Fine." You squeeze your eyes shut, your current position only worsening your pain. "I just haven’t been feeling well lately.”
“What do you mean?”
You pause, contemplating how much you actually want to tell him right now. “My stomach gets upset. It’s fine though, probably just a bug.”
“And it’s causing you to not eat or sleep?”
“It only hurts after I eat. Well, it hurts in general now but if I eat it hurts a lot. Except for pho for some reason. But I can’t eat that all day every day,” You try to sound light and calm so that he doesn't worry more than he already is.
“You said 'now.' How long has it been hurting?”
“A while,” You mumble, playing with the hem of your shirt.
There's more movement in the background. You hear a faint scoff before you hear Seungmin huff as he presses the phone to his ear again.
“Have you gone to your doctor?”
“I called. They can’t see me until next month. But they said they’ll call me if a closer appointment comes.”
“Urgent care?” He suggests.
“They’ll just have me sit in the waiting room for hours and then spend 5 minutes with me before prescribing me antibiotics. Which is good and all but I know that's going to do fuck all if I can't even eat with the pills.”
“If it’s that bad, they’ll prescribe you something else.”
“Unlikely,”
You can practically hear the gears turning in Seungmin's head on the other end while he tries to come up with another solution for you. You're almost certain he's come up with all the same solutions that you have, none with promising enough results.
“What about the emergency room?" He tries again.
“For a stomach bug?” You chuckle, holding your stomach to attempt to control the apparent throbbing your stomach.
“A stomach bug wouldn't last that long. And you're not eating or sleeping. I don't know what else to do." His voice cracks. He's not trying to mask the panic in his voice for your sake anymore. He sounds as scared as you feel inside.
You squeeze your eyes shut again and rub your free hand over it. "Let's say I agree with you taking me to the emergency room. We'll still be there for hours--"
"I'm a pro idol. Plus my mom is a doctor,"
You've never known Seungmin to abuse his privilege as an idol, even at times when he should have. Especially when he should have. The fact that he's even insinuating that he'll use that part of his life if it'll help you is both heartwarming and intimidating.
"Don't involve your mom in this--Look, it's fine. I'm fine."
"It's not--" You hear Seungmin mumble a string of swear words that you're not sure you've heard him utter before.
"Seungmin? Hello?"
The background noise starts up again. This time, you hear Jisung scream singing loudly in the background as Hyunjin laughs. You hear some rustling in the background and finally a zipper. You pick up Chan's concerned voice, low and deep as chaos ensues in the background. You hear Seungmin tell him that he has to go, 'a family emergency' he explains. And then you hear Minho's soft voice as the noise in the background dies down. And then more rustling and zippers before the faint yet familiar jingling of keys.
"Seungmin!" You call out again, hoping he can hear you now that the room is quieter.
You hear a faint, 'one second' from Seungmin before he clears his throat, "I'll be there in about 20 minutes. Get your stuff ready."
Click
He hangs up before you can even try to argue with him that he doesn't need to leave practice to check on you. You let out a long shakey breath as you toss your phone on the bed and let yourself slump over from frustration.
***
"I can't believe you called your mom," You mutter under your breath.
Your arms rest firmly across your chest as you sit up on the examination bed in the emergency room. Seungmin sits at the foot of the bed, watching your every move. Like you would try to bolt if his eyes left you for even a second. You've thought about it.
"If you saw how pale you looked, you would have done the same thing. What did you want me to do?"
He looks so unlike himself. This is the first time you've seen him so disheveled, even after a dance practice. His usually neat hair points in all different directions from him running his hands through it. His windbreaker is zipped all the way up to hide his wrinkly, sweaty t-shirt. His face is darker than it normally is, showcasing whatever is running through his mind.
"Not call your mom!" You whisper. The emergency room beds don't offer you much privacy, only a curtain separating you from other beds. There's been a man screaming in pain in one of the makeshift rooms since you walked in. "I told you specifically not to,"
The sterile stench and bright lights from the room are starting to make your head spin. You feel bad taking up a bed when you know some people need to be examined more than you.
"I'm sorry but if you saw me in the state you're in, trust me, you would be calling anyone who could help. You lost a lot of weight too. I don't think I can even pinch your cheeks without it hurting you."
"You're overreacting," You scoff, rolling your eyes.
"You look like a sickly Victorian child,"
"Seung--"
Swoosh
Seungmin quietly gets up from his spot on the bed and stands next to you, resting his hand on your shoulder. Your doctor from earlier walks back in, nurse behind him this time. Her forced smile does nothing to distract from the dark bags under her eyes. You can tell how exhausted she is just by looking at her. She looks how your brain feels.
"I just finished talking with my attending. We both agree that you may have an ulcer. However, we cannot be sure without further testing. You have a few options but we recommend..."
You started to zone out, relieved that their first suspicion is an ulcer and not something more serious. An ulcer is treatable and the fatality rate is relatively low, based on what you read when you first started feeling sick.
"...admit you."
"Excuse me?" You tilt your head to the side, confused about what you just heard. You feel Seungmin's grip on your shoulder tightens, nails practically digging into your shoulder.
"Like I said, we do have a few other concerns so we believe it's best to admit you while we run a few more tests to be certain." The doctor repeats.
"But you just said that it's most likely an ulcer." You uncross your arms, your hand instinctively reacting for Seungmin. He grabs your hand with his free hand, refusing to let go of your shoulder.
"Yes, but some of the symptoms you're experiencing also align with other ailments so we would like to admit you for a couple of days while we do thorough tests," she explains, flipping through the papers on her clipboard.
You turn to Seungmin, whose face is clamped shut and eyes are fixed on the doctor. He's been doing well, keeping his composure for your sake, but now he looks as pale as you probably do. You try to focus your breathing so that maybe, just maybe, your heart will stop threatening to pound out of your chest. If it does, however, you're in the perfect place.
Seungmin's hand slides down from your shoulder to your back, rubbing soothing circles as he continues to talk to the doctor. You can't hear what he and the doctor are talking about, your ears are acutely aware of the swooshing of the blood from your heart.
You wanted it to be nothing. It's one of the main reasons why you put it off so long, playing it off as common stomach issues so you wouldn't have to go to the doctors and have them find something wrong with you. But it's inevitable now. There is something.
"It'll be okay," Seungmin whispers. Normally, you can read him like a book, but right now, you can't tell if he's reassuring you or himself.
~~~
You stare at the words on your phone, absorbing none of them as music plays loudly from Seungmin's headphones. You can't even register what song is playing right now, your mind too full with thousands of thoughts plaguing every quiet second you have.
Seungmin left you his headphones and phone charger before he left to get you some things from home. He stayed a while, being a quiet yet comforting presence while you got admitted. He sat, holding your hand as a nurse drew your blood, humming softly to distract you for a little bit.
He didn't want to leave. Not at first, but the two of you quickly realized that you couldn't ask anyone to get what you needed from your apartment. Seungmin has the only remaining key and you argued that it would be too much to ask one of the boys to come to the hospital to pick it up, get what you need from your room, and then come back to the hospital. So Seungmin went himself.
You were put into a private room, which you know is probably Seungmin's doing, but right now, you would prefer to be in a shared room. Just for the comfort of knowing that you're not the only person in the room.
Hot tears roll down your face, as your mind plays all the worse possible scenarios like a movie. You can't skip it, each scene is worse than the first, stressing you out more. You rest your head on the TV tray, trying to get your body to stop shaking and the images from popping into your head.
"Y/n?" You feel the cool air rushing to your ears and Seungmin's panicked voice, "What's wrong? Are you in pain?"
He sets down the bags in the chair next to your bed and tries to get you to lift your head so he can see your face.
"N-no. I mean, yeah it hurts, but that's not why I'm crying." You whimper, lifting your head and looking at Seungmin through tears.
You can't see it, how red and swollen Seungmin's eyes are. Even if you did, you know he'd tell you a little white lie about allergies. You hate how this is affecting him. It's one of the reasons why you didn't tell him in the first place. Because you knew he wouldn't be able to do anything to help, no matter how much he wanted to. You don't even want to think how badly he'll suffer if it's something serious.
"It's okay to be scared," Seungmin whispers. The remainder of the sentence lingers in the air between the two of you. Unspoken but understood.
It's okay to be scared. I am too.
"What if it's something serious? And I waited too long and,"
Another unfinished sentence that doesn't need to be completed for the two of you to understand, this one heavier than the last. Its weight quickly soaking up all the oxygen and light in the room, making it hard to breathe. Or maybe it's whatever has been slowly killing you from the inside finally putting you out of your misery.
"Maybe it's a parasite," Seungmin suggests, his normally steady voice breaking. You finally look up to face your boyfriend. You're bet with the top of his head as he's turned away from you, looking at the ceiling. His hair is neater than it was before, still slightly wet. He's now wearing a light grey hoodie with matching sweatpants.
"That's disgusting," You sniffle, a smile smile appearing on your face.
Seungmin, still not looking at you, lets out a loud and long sigh. "But you're smiling, right?"
"Because you're an idiot,"
"A smile is a smile. I'll take it."
Seungmin tilts his head down and rubs his sleeve-covered hands over his face before turning his attention to you. His eyes are glassy and red. Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach at the sight of him.
"It'll be okay," You whisper, taking Seungmin's hand in yours. It's more for your comfort than his.
"Whatever it is, I'll be here. Okay?" Seungmin says loudly, squeezing your hand tightly. "So lay your burdens on me,"
"I can't ask you to do that. You're getting ready for a comeback--"
"You think I would be able to focus on that if you're...if something is wrong with you?"
"I've seen you seen you separate Kim Seungmin the idol from Kim Seungmin my boyfriend."
"Yeah, when we're having a fight or something. But not for things like this. I already talked to Chan hyung. I didn't tell him everything, but he understands that you need me right now."
"Seungmin..." Your voice falters, any argument you could think of dies in your throat.
But he's right, you do need him. You've been shouldering the burden of your pain alone for too long, you're not sure how much longer you can last. He was gone for one hour and you completely fell apart. And that was just at the thought that it might be something serious.
"I have to call my parents," You breathe, calming down a little bit.
"I can help you with that," Seungmin replies softly.
"And I need to let my boss know I can't come in."
"I'll help with that too,"
"...But right now, I kinda just want to lay down with you,"
"I can do that too," Seungmin gently climbs into the hospital bed next to you, carefully watching the IV in your hand.
Once he's settled, he pulls your head down onto his chest. You freeze for a moment. It's not usual for Seungmin to initiate physical contact like this. Especially when a nurse can walk in at any moment. But the slight tremble of his body and the pounding in his chest let you know that he probably needs this more than you, so you relax into his touch.
"I love you, Y/n," He mumbles out, just like he did the first time he said it.
"I love you too, Seungmin," You breathe into his chest, gripping the fabric of his hoodie.
"I'm here," He says loudly this time. "It'll be okay,"
"I know,"
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st4rgzer · 4 months
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something stupid (matt sturniolo)
summary: fic based on the song "something stupid" by Frank Sinatra!!
genre: fluff
cw!: swearing, kissing
a/n: i’ve been having a rough week so far and i just haven’t been writing much, i hope you enjoy this<3
"and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like, i love you"
The soft gleam of candles illuminates entirely the small bar, accentuating his features, softening them at the same time. You feel entranced, dazed as both of you exchange the same lovesick look, infatuated by one another.
You break the moment, clearing your throat, instantly regretting it, cursing your awkwardness for getting in the way of you both.
"um…we should get going, right?" You coughed, looking away timidly. It seems that the moment things start getting serious, real, you sabotage your happiness, it happened more than often.
Matt looks slightly confused, but he’s still gripping onto the small moment shared a few seconds ago, he smiles to himself.
"yeah, it is getting late" He checks the time, sighing, not wanting this date to come to an end, cursing time for going so quickly. He still wanted to hang on to any more time he could share alongside you.
"would you want to maybe get some ice cream?" He makes up on the spot, stumbling over his words slightly, trying to disguise his eager nervousness with a grin, making him seem cocky, even if you could see right through him.
"sure! should we- should we go now?" you cringed over your stupid question, trying not to seem to eager to expand the time together.
He smiled in relief. You grabbed your jacket and pushed your chair in. The check had already been paid, by a very insistent Matt, of course.
Both of you exited the restaurant, exchanging shy smiles. Matt interlocked hands with you, nervously, trying not to seem very forward.
The bright neon ice cream shop sign contrasted with the darkness of the night, easily distinguishable. You ordered a cherry cone and Matt, vanilla and chocolate swirl.
You and Matt stayed in silence for a while, taking in the admirable view of the stars, that were especially beautiful that night, maybe it was just you but, they shined particularly brighter.
"do you like the ice cream?" Matt asked, furrowing his brows at the stupid attempt to break the silence, wishing now that he had said something better.
"yes! do you wanna try?, here, it’s really really good" You smiled, offering your cone to him, he handed you his cone in exchange.
His face scrunched up in disgust, quickly trying to hide it from you.
"its- really good!…" He sounded very unconvincing, you burst out laughing at him trying to convince you that he actually liked it, which was oddly sweet, you admired his efforts.
"how do you not like it?!" you said between laughs, looking at him in shock, a smile wide on your face, same as him.
"i- guess i don’t like cherry?" he smiled, laughing as well, a pink tint coming up to his cheeks, he thanked the darkness right now.
"well i don’t like your vanilla-chocolate swirl" You said defiantly, handing him back his cone, he laughed, shaking his head at your childish remarks.
Time passed, and both of your ice creams were in the trash. You tucked your hands in your pockets, the wind picking up slightly.
In this moment, the both of you were stood in the middle of a vacant street, the shine of the lamp post taking you back to the bar, remembering how much you loved seeing this in this lighting.
Your perfume infatuated him, in the right way. It made him want to be closer to you. There was such a subtle breeze, swerving his hair to the side slightly.
"i love you" He blurts out, widening his eyes at the realization to what he had said.
"i-" You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, still processing the sentence in your head.
"shit- sorry, i- i didn’t think before saying, fuck- i’m sorry for spoiling this, i-" He tried to redeem himself, an evident sorry look on his face.
Instead of saying anything, you closed the little space in between you, lacing your lips together, softly. He slowly eased into the kiss, cupping your cheeks with his hands, pressing closer- if that was even possible. You both pulled apart to breathe, Matt looked at you, his mouth slightly agape, enamored.
"I love you too, stupid" You laughed, softly uttering the words, gently stroking his cheek, running your finger over the light stubble of his jaw.
A weight fell off his shoulders, relieved that you weren’t taken back, terrified of the thought of scaring you off.
Your arms draped over his shoulders, and placed a small kiss on his cheek, making the grin on his face all the more wider. He had forgotten about the time, that being the least of his worries. He could die happily right now.
Then of course, it was spoiled, Matts phone rang, making you jolt slightly.
"im going to kill Nick." He sighed, already missing the feeling of your arms on him, knowing the night was coming to an end.
You smile to yourself, grateful for Matt’s stupidity, "i love you" was the perfect thing to say, even if it didn’t seem like it.
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pennyellee · 9 months
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CHAPTER IV - ustulation
LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU
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pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au
summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.
Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.
chapter warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of God, blood, incision wound, fictive mafia clan traditions, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, mentions of death, overwhelming, violence, threats, intimate encounter, kissing
beta read by @chaoticpuff17
word count: 5,6K
disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.
m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III GAME OF GO CHAPTER V
ustulation (n.) a burning lust
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In the hidden embrace of a secluded mountain valley, a village of hanoks stirred to life on a tranquil winter's morning. The air was crisp, a symphony of silence. The Song of the Dead toned down for some time.
The dawn’s gentle light bathed the valley, wisps of mist from the frost-kissed earth, adding an ethereal veil to the scenery she watched carefully from the closed window.
The majestic mountains, ancient pines and stoic rocks stood as sentinels of the valley's serenity. She could see them from this side of the house. Y/N sighed, holding a cup of tea in her two small hands, warming herself up on this chilly morning.
“Is something bothering you, my love?”
Yoongi had tried his hardest the past month to get under her skin. There were times when he thought perhaps, she would welcome him into her heart one day. However, her repeated escape attempts made him think otherwise. He was giving her the space she needed with carefulness in every action he took. The young leader knew well that she wouldn't be able to escape while they resided here, in the core of the village. That did not stop her though.
As if nature herself wished to bestow a gift upon him, the first snowflakes began to descend from the heavens just as they were returning from that unfortunate, eventful day in Seoul. The snowflakes floated gently, even now, like fragile dreams.
“Are you feeling well? You spent a lot of time in the snow yesterday.” He murmured after she didn’t grant him an answer to his previous question. They had to postpone the wedding as the snow and frost reigned, making it unsafe to pass through the tunnels. The passage was being cleared by workers for more than a week now. Time seemed to stand still as they absorbed the grace that enveloped their world.
“I feel fine,” she muttered back, not even looking his way at the table.
“I’ve been good to you, haven’t I?” He asked, demanding to speak to her.
“After all the stunts you pulled, you’re still free to roam around without anyone guarding you. Not speaking of the fact that I’m letting you sleep alone—” he was going on rumble.
The young leader is patient, but he longed for her more than ever. The fact that they’re still not newlyweds, and he cannot show love to every inch of her body, make her swell with his child, was frustrating him beyond repair. She had let her guard down once and allowed him to take the chance and kiss her on the cheek, startling her yet again.
“—you’re so blinded,” she said suddenly, turning back to face him.
“Excuse me?” said he, very surprised.
“You go on about how you’re good to me, how this is God’s doing, and that I should be grateful—” she threw her hands in the air, frustrated by his demanding nature.
While the leader thought he was granting her the time she needed, Y/N felt more and more anxious every day. Her heart is still itching to be free, yet she cannot stop thinking about what her selfishness would cause if she indeed managed to escape.
“Well maybe if you didn’t run every time, I tried to show you affection, I wouldn't have to remind you of all this.” He spat angrily, smashing the chopsticks on the table, standing up.
“I’m patient—” said he, getting closer to her standing form by the large windows. “—but I swear to God, you’ll disobey me again, and that’s where my hospitality ends, Y/N.”
“I just—” she stammered, making him stop in his attempt to close the distance between them. “I’m scared,” she whimpered. Y/N didn’t know why these words came out of her, nor why there were tears. All she felt was exhaustion.
The scarred leader’s expression softened. Is she finally confiding herself to him, opening up?
“My love…” He approached her, taking the cup from her shaking hands, putting it aside and lastly taking her face into his hands, his thumbs wiping her tears away.
“I can make you happy. You just have to let me in.” He whispered, moving his face closer to hers. Y/N knows they will cross the boundary sooner or later. The winter is making it impossible for her to both run away and survive. Should Y/N listen to her mother’s words and let him make her his queen? The older female’s proclamation circled her mind at night while listening to the cracking of wood in the fireplace.
“Please let me in, dove.” He pleaded again, his eyes filled with sincerity and longing.
And once she nodded her head in approval, he didn’t hesitate to press his lips softly against hers. Time stood still, and the world around them faded into a blur of insignificance. Their hearts pounded in sync for a brief moment. She felt a warmth she couldn't admit, even to herself. Y/N wanted to hate him so much. Despite her inner conflict, she could sense the unspoken longings from his side, his desire to deepen the kiss carefully without overwhelming her. He wished to never let her go and feared that she would vanish in his hold. His lips were tender and tentative, like the brush of a butterfly's wings upon a fragile petal. Y/N knows he is holding himself back. The kiss was addictive, momentarily lifting the burden from her chest.
As he went to slide his hands on the swell of her heart-shaped bottom, a sudden cough interrupted the intimate moment. Y/N quickly pulled away, feeling shame and embarrassment wash over her caused by the sudden intrusion. She stole a single glance at the man standing by the door, grinning mischievously. Her cheeks turned crimson as she felt shy and exposed, but the young leader kept holding her in his embrace, not letting her go so soon after their first shared kiss.
Smiling like a teenager, he said: “What’s going on Hoseok-shi.” Y/N could imagine he is smiling widely as she had observed when she apologised to him for hitting his head with the stone. He waved it off quickly stating ‘I would be a fool to not forgive my new sister.’ She pretended not to be affected by his words, but it made the man she was to marry smile even more mischievously.
“I need to speak to you, and Y/N should get ready for Hyung’s wedding,” Hoseok said, his eyes gleaming with some secret knowledge.
Y/N exchanged a puzzled glance with Hoseok before nodding and extracting herself from the young leader's embrace, her cheeks still flushed from the kiss. Uncertainty hung in the air as Yoongi let Y/N go and walk away, admiring her graceful figure.
“What?” Yoongi asked, turning his attention to his trusted friend, who wore a smirk that hinted at hidden amusement.
“Nothing,” Hoseok replied, still smiling under his nose.
“Shall we?” Yoongi said, collecting himself and walking towards his brother.
“You won’t fancy what news I bring, brother.”
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Silk banners fluttered in the breeze, announcing the joyous union to all who ventured near. The bride, a vision of grace and elegance, is adorned in a hanbok of flowing silk and intricate embroidery.
The groom, dressed in the timeless attire of a traditional hanbok, stood tall and resolute. His eyes fixed unwaveringly upon his beloved, as though she embodied the very essence of his being — a force that fuelled his heart.
Amidst the enchanting spectacle of celebration, the weight of tradition resonated with each uttered word.
The outside picture portrayed the unbreakable bonds of family and the beauty of two souls finding solace in one another. Y/N, however, couldn’t help but have a feeling that the poor girl the doctor was marrying did not find herself at the altar because of true love but fearful coercion. It reminded her of her circumstances — a pawn in a larger scheme.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow upon the snow-covered land, Y/N sat beside her to-be husband, observing his unusual joy. Accordingly. Today, one of his brothers was finally taking a wife and his bride in a momentary vulnerability that had allowed him to share a tender kiss with her, amplifying his joy to an even greater extent.
Her ears perked up once she heard the celebration of the union before her. She couldn't resist side-eyeing the other brothers she had encountered over the past month, and her gaze locked with Kim Namjoon, Kkangpae’s right-hand man.
Y/N remembers Kim Namjoon. His piercing, cold gaze bore into her soul, especially so during one of her escape attempts, when he forcefully brought her back to the main house, reprimanding her for disobedience.
‘I can either give up my life to save you or I can be your enemy Y/N.’ Namjoon had warned her on a night when she sought solace near the fireplace in Yoongi's office, wrapped in blankets to warm herself even more. She was rarely allowed in this sacred room unless her actions demanded attention.
That night, Yoongi was dealing with business matters. He came back to the main house to her shivering and crying form. It is breaking his heart every time he sees her in such a state but simultaneously, he wishes she would cross the border of submissiveness and obey him.
Y/N ignored his warning just yesterday when she attempted to run away again. Hence, the gaze. If she was afraid of his next steps, she wouldn’t let him decipher that.
She snapped out of her mind as Yoongi rose from his seat, taking her hand to help her up. Y/N looked at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. He gently nudged her behind him, positioning himself as a protective shield. She looked around her, seeing that everyone else was still seated. Their looks show emotions —excitement, joy, and pride.
Her confusion heightened when Yoongi began unbuttoning her fur coat that was hiding her long red qipao, and panic swelled within her.
"What are you doing?!” She whispered in distress.
“Behave.” He whispered back to her, leaving the coat open revealing her breasts and tummy.
Leaving her standing close to him, he held her hand tightly, as if afraid she might flee at any moment. Y/N noticed that Namjoon's attention had shifted to Seokjin's new bride. The bride's trembling form approached them, and Y/N observed the gleaming knife in Seokjin's hand, quickly realizing what was about to happen.
It whispered promises of power, of secrets that could be revealed with a single stroke, but it also carried the weight of consequences and a toll on the bearer's conscience. As the girl's hand was carefully sliced with the knife, Y/N couldn't help but empathize with her pain. Her father had a similar tradition; however, women weren’t involved; she was still left in the dark about her role in all this.
The girl then knelt, extending her bloodied hand toward the leader, reciting her pledge of loyalty to Kkangpae Min. Yoongi covered her hand with his other one, acknowledging her devotion and signaling for her to continue with the moving tradition.
The leader then used his left hand to guide Y/N forward, leaving her yet again puzzled and bewildered. A moment later, she gasped with shock as she felt the girl's bloodied hand touch her lower belly. Yoongi held her firmly in place, preventing any instinctual step back.
"I, with my blood, pledge my loyalty to you, Min Buin. Blessed be the fruit of your future legacy, Kkangpae Min," the girl recited, her words carrying both reverence and a touch of melancholy. The significance of the moment and the responsibility it bestowed upon Y/N left her grappling with a maelstrom of emotions.
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“Well you handled that well,” a voice came from behind her, and Y/N turned to find Namjoon standing there, watching her by the fireplace in Yoongi's office. She had been curious when he would approach her, knowing that Yoongi had gone to check if the tunnels were passable.
Y/N couldn't quite discern the tone of Namjoon's remark—whether it held irony or genuine praise. Such was the enigmatic nature of this man.
“I suppose,” she muttered, hugging herself for comfort.
“I personally thought you’d slap her hand off. Such an act would undoubtedly stir up trouble,” said he as he settled down in one of the armchairs.
Her mind replayed the events of the pledge, and she confessed truthfully, “I was too shocked to do so.” The new bride's pledge of loyalty to her and her empty womb had caught her off guard, leaving her uneasy.
“Your father is not demanding newcomers to pledge loyalty?” He asked, curious about their inner circle practices. She smirked, sensing his attempt to pry.
“Yes, but not to my mother,” she revealed.
“You hold an important position within our ranks,” the right-hand man noted. “And that, my dear, is why we are having this little conversation.” Y/N looked up, finding him extending a glass filled with what she presumed to be rice wine or soju.
“I genuinely want to be your friend Y/N—” he said while passing the glass to her. “But you’re very hard to please, princess,” he exclaimed.
“By ‘wanting to be my friend’, you mean the part when you threaten me again,” she retorted with a scoff, alluding to his past warnings.
“That is a necessary evil,” he conceded. “But on a serious note, Y/N,” he drew closer, taking a seat slightly further away to grant her personal space, “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” she asked, feeling dumbfounded by his question.
"Is life here truly so terrible that all you can think of is escape?" he sighed, genuinely curious about her state of mind.
“Not all I can think of—” she began, trying to defend herself.
"Oh, so you did not attempt to escape just a day ago, and two days before that, and so on," he interjected, pointing out her recent attempts.
“What do you want to hear from me Namjoon?” she countered, feeling the pressure of his questioning.
“Hoseok hyung overheard your conversation,” he finally gave away the one piece of information he sought to address “What are you afraid of?”
Y/N gazed into the dancing flames, his words echoing in her mind. Memories of the recent kiss with Yoongi and the ensuing events flooded her thoughts. She felt her spirit on the brink of collapse, her attempts to escape repeatedly thwarted, causing harm to others in the process. Y/N was exhausted.
“I suppose I expected my life to take a different trajectory than this,” she admitted, reflecting on her circumstances.
“I can assure you that this will be the best that ever happened to you—” Namjoon insisted, trying to be reassuring.
“And that, Namjoon, is where my disbelief lies,” she interrupted him, peering straight into his eyes. He sighed, running a hand across his face, expressing a sense of frustration mixed with genuine concern.
“You didn’t give it a chance!” He raised his voice, unable to hide his emotions. He wanted this clan to function as it did for countless years and what’s more, he wanted his hyung to be happy.
“I’m going to ask you once again, and I want the truth,” he implored, trying to get to the heart of the matter. “What are you so scared of?”
Y/N decided to remain silent, knowing that her response would likely incite further frustration from him. "Is it sex?" he suddenly asked, shocking her with his explicitness. "Are you scared to be punished for your sins?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” she returned his rage, denying his accusation.
“Am I?” he continued probing.
“Yes, Namjoon! You are! You think I’m this shallow?!” she lashed out.
“No, but all you let us see is the shallow version of you. Apart from this morning,” he declared, referring to a rare moment of vulnerability she had shown.
“And it wasn’t meant for anybody to hear nor see that,” she snapped back at him.
“I understand your reasoning, Y/N. But we’re your family now, you don’t have to shield yourself against us,” he pleaded, hoping to break down her walls.
“He loves you, Y/N,” Namjoon continued, trying to make her see the sincerity in Yoongi's feelings.
“That’s very hard to believe too.” She remarked, still sceptical, looking right through his eyes. He took a deep breath, lifting his hand to touch his face.
“Alright, let’s make a deal,” he proposed, catching her by surprise and piquing her interest.
“About?” She asked, curiously.
“Give it a year,” said the right-hand man. By making a deal with her, he is going behind the back of his leader and, even more importantly — his dearest friend. Nevertheless, he felt obligated to do this for him.
"If you're still 'scared' of whatever you say you are, and this is not the life you'll be comfortable living, I'll personally see to it that you'll be transported to America," he promised, leaving her momentarily speechless.
“What is the catch?” Y/N wasn't naive. She knew there must be some ulterior motive.
"You'll stop being a flight risk. If you attempt to run again, the deal is off, and I will personally eliminate each person foolish enough to aid you since your arrival—one by one, ending with your cousin," he stated, laying out the condition.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she absorbed his chilling words. Her mind raced as she contemplated her choices. "That's the only condition?" she asked, ensuring she understood the terms before giving her answer.
"Well, naturally, I expect you to genuinely give it a chance, meaning that you will accept Hyung as your husband, leader, and lover," he emphasized the last noun, urging her to take his words seriously. Y/N stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts together.
“This is a one time offer Y/N. I won’t be this generous again,” he added. She struggled to read him, but she couldn’t. Namjoon was well known for being unpredictable — a quality that made him a perfect fit as the right-hand man. No one could ever say with certainty what his next move would be.
“Fine,” she finally relented, her voice barely a whisper. Namjoon extended his hand, sealing the deal with a firm shake. He leaned in closer to Y/N.
“I trust that you’ll be on your best behaviour from now on.” He whispered to her. There were so many emotions in her eyes right now that she was working hard to process. She barely nodded and averted her gaze down. Y/N couldn’t bear to look into his intimidating eyes no more.
“Very well,” he murmured, his gaze still fixed on her. “The tunnels have been cleared, and the wedding will take place this week." He told her.
Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the mention of the impending wedding. She was praying that perhaps she has more time to think of what to do with her situation. According to Seokjin, who came to visit and spent some time on occasion with her when his leader could not, the tunnels wouldn’t be cleared out until the end of December, giving her another month in total.
“Brother!” exclaimed Namjoon suddenly, breaking her train of thought. Y/N followed his gaze to the sliding door, where Yoongi stood, undoing the cufflinks of his shirt, the suit jacket already gone. "I was just telling Y/N the good news," Namjoon smiled at him.
Throughout this month, Y/N observed the strong brotherhood among Yoongi's most trusted and closest men. The deepest connection Yoongi shared was undoubtedly with Namjoon, which explained why he was the right-hand man.
Yoongi displayed a particularly protective nature towards his younger brothers. She had yet to meet Jungkook, the youngest, who had been recently assigned as captain of the front unit, as she overheard. On the other hand, Jimin was more involved in the open, managing the front business and whatever lay beneath it. The Chosen Hotel was highly popular among Koreans but was eagerly open to international guests too. Y/N suspected that the true core of the business was settled elsewhere, and she was eager to uncover it.
Seokjin, recently married, primarily served as the inner family's doctor. However, the Min clan also faced a shortage of actual medical staff like, so he had to run between the sanctuary, as she had learnt this place was called, and a front hospital.
Taehyung remained a mystery to her, despite seeing him in family pictures and hearing Yoongi mention him occasionally. He was supposed to represent the law in Yoongi's business dealings, ensuring the safety and legitimacy of their operations, including the handling of illegal earnings. Therefore, Taehyung is the safety pin of this organization. Whomever fucks up, he is there to defend them.
And lastly, Hoseok, a surprising contrast of joy and darkness. Y/N was taken aback that such a buoyant personality could be involved in such sinister activities. He was the arsonist who also took care of assassinations. Additionally, the clan engaged in money laundering, and Hoseok was responsible for collecting debts, often involuntarily.
Her eyes swelled with tears she was refusing to let out. Yoongi’s eyes met Y/N's, and she could see a mixture of concern and worry flicker across his face. A silent understanding passed between them, and they knew that they would need to have a private conversation later.
“Well, it seems you two need more privacy,” said Namjoon while he was collecting himself from the cushion he was sitting on.
“Did Tae call?” Yoongi asked before Namjoon could leave. “He did before Hyung’s wedding, to send his good wishes and—” he gazed over to Y/N who was carefully listening to their conversation, hanging on every word.
“—and?” Yoongi asked as he unbuttoned his shirt, a sight she had seen far too often for her liking. He was not shy with her; he could easily undress before her without a second thought. His attempts to walk in on her while she was changing didn't go unnoticed either, though she made sure to show her displeasure by throwing vases at him to keep him out.
Only now did Y/N remember the glass of alcoholic beverage that Namjoon had offered her, remaining untouched in her hands. She decided to take a sip, trying to ease her nerves before the conversation she was dreading.
“—and everything went well, as expected,” said Namjoon observing her as she downed the burning soju.
“Send telegraph to Wang and other families. We’re leaving for Chosen in two hours.” Y/N straightened herself, eyes wide open in disbelief.
“W-what do you mean in two hours?” She stammered. It was just past eight when she gazed at the clock on the wall. That would mean they'd depart at ten and arrive in Seoul around midnight.
"—I thought they just cleared the way. Why are we—" Yoongi cut her off abruptly. "I am waiting no more," he said firmly, locking his gaze with hers, leaving her in shock once again.
"On your way, please inform the maids to pack, and I want the cabin ready," Yoongi instructed Namjoon, who memorised every task with a sense of responsibility, seemingly disregarding Y/N's shattered spirit in the wake of this sudden rush.
“Can we at least talk about it?!” she raised her voice, causing the two men to stop in their tracks. They exchanged knowing looks, making it clear that this was non-negotiable. Yoongi clicked his tongue, biting his cheeks from inside, then turned to face his fiancée with a deceptive sweetness in his tone.
"Of course, my love," he said.
He nodded to Namjoon, who immediately took off, glancing at Y/N with a silent reminder to behave.
“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked nonchalantly as if this were a perfectly normal scenario.
“I don’t know, do you think this is right?” Y/N kept her tone tense, signalling her discontent.
“Nothing is more right than this,” he answered, pouring himself a drink while taking her empty glass and refilling it with soju.
"Yoongi—" she began to protest, but he didn't let her speak further, having heard her excuses countless times.
“No Y/N. I’m not negotiating this time. We’re getting married tomorrow afternoon and that’s final,” he stated sternly.
"You could at least wait a day! Do you think everyone will just jump because you said it's happening right now? And more importantly, let me mentally prepare for it?!” Her frustration grew, and she gestured wildly, almost knocking over the refilled glass that Yoongi handed her.
“They are already in town. The telegraph is just a confirmation that it will happen tomorrow.” Her distress and panic were understandable; she had believed she had more time than a few hours.
“And you didn’t think of telling me first?!” she raised her voice even higher. That she was in distress and panic was very understandable. Y/N thought she had more time than a few hours.
“No, because you were finally letting me in—” said he, downing the contents of his glass in one go.
“You knew this would happen for a month, and you would have had more time to prepare yourself if running away fifteen hundred times a day wouldn’t be on your mind,” he fired back, raising his voice at her, and immediately asserting dominance.
"I'm getting very tired of this. One step forward and ten million miles back, damn it!" he cursed, slamming the glass down on his desk in frustration. The tension in the room was palpable, and Y/N felt her heart sinking as she realized that her hopes of a slower pace for their relationship had been shattered.
“I have a very easy solution to that—” she said, raising herself to stand up to him.
“—Let me go,” she emphasized every single word, her frustration boiling over, and momentarily forgetting about her deal with Namjoon.
Her emotions were running high, and she went to pull the ring off to prove her point, but he forcefully grabbed her right hand, stopping her in her tracks. Anger filled his eyes as he crossed his other hand, grabbed her by the back of her neck, and crashed his lips onto hers, pressing their bodies against the nearest wall. He didn't give her a chance to catch her breath as he passionately bruised her lips.
He let go of her hand once he was sure she wouldn't resist. With his now free hand, he lifted her leg, wrapping it around his waist, squeezing her ass cheek, making her yelp and by that creating an opening to slip his tongue into her mouth. Y/N had no idea how long their intimate encounter lasted, but she could feel her head spinning from the lack of oxygen. Just as she managed to stop his other hand from slipping under her dress, aiming for her pulsing heat, he parted from her, both of them breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry. I got carried away,” he apologised, his eyes fixed on her now swollen lips. Y/N was taken aback, her head still spinning, and she couldn't think straight. He had such a powerful effect on her, and this aspect of life was entirely new to her, having been kept away from such experiences.
"I wish, —" he started, nibbling at her lower lip while he continued to speak, "—you would acknowledge my love for you." Yoongi kissed her again, not giving her a chance to recover or speak up, moaning softly into her lips.
"We are too close. I will never give you up.” he declared, wiping her tears away gently.
“I can’t have you running though—” he leaned into lavish attention on her neck, placing butterfly kisses up to her jaw and stopping at her lips again—
"I'll overlook this lapse of senses if you keep up this good behaviour, my love, but the next time you disobey me, I won't only discipline you; someone will lose their head.”
She trembled against him, feeling lost, scared, and vulnerable. Her breath hitched as she tried to speak up. Yoongi was beyond himself for getting her into this state where she didn’t dare to oppose his words and stopped fighting him. If she won’t let him in willingly, he will force her to open up to him.
“I told you to not take that ring off your finger ever again.” She remembers the words he uttered to her in the garden where he proposed to her. That she agreed still feels surreal to her. Running got her nowhere, but she still had a selfish feeling inside her that he was bluffing and wouldn’t dare to seriously hurt anybody.
“Now be a good girl and apologise for disobeying me.” He tightened his grip at her waist, finally staring right into her teary eyes. Y/N felt lost, scared and vulnerable. Her lips were trembling, and her breath hitched again once she opened her mouth to speak.
“Shhh, it’s okay baby, just say it.” He cooed, lifting his hand to caress her cheek gently.
“I-I am sorry,” she finally sobbed. If there was one thing the scarred boy excelled at, it was getting his way. He smiled at her, pleased with her response.
He smiled at her. “That’s more like it, baby.”
Y/N longed to curl up in her small apartment, where she resided while studying at college. She desperately wished she could turn back time.
“I have something for you,” he said suddenly, looking for any sign of curiosity from her. Yoongi stepped away to his desk, leaving her pressed against the wall, hesitant to move an inch. He opened one of his drawers and pulled out an envelope. Y/N couldn't make out the handwriting, but her eyes widened as she recognised it.
“Your aunt entrusted me with this letter when we came to the conclusion that you should be mine one day,” he said, holding the envelope in his hands. Y/N desperately wished that the answer and a solution to her fears would be contained in that envelope. She was mulling over the platform of this match-making her aunt orchestrated.
Wang Xiaoqing very much upheld the meaning of her name in the time she lived. Blessed with intelligence. And she was a fearless mafia wife who brought pride to her late husband. There are other intriguing things about Y/N’s beloved auntie. Xiaoqing is by far the only member in her large family tree that married for love. Y/N admired her aunt and, perhaps, seeing that it was possible to marry for love, made her blindly believe she could also have the freedom to choose her partner.
She dreamt of a little house in the woods, not far from a lake or a small town. Growing some goods in the garden, by night sitting near the fireplace, the love of her life holding her. She would work in a nearby hospital, or study overseas to become a doctor were all part of her fever dream. She knew it was unlikely to come true, given her family's ties to the syndicate.
But she could least dream about it. For a moment, when she was on the ferry to Jeju Island, she thought she would make it. Y/N knew the risk she was taking once she entrusted her well-being to Chan-yeol. She knew his role was insignificant and not a threat to any syndicate and it wouldn’t certainly attract Yakuza, but she was also aware that he could have been the only one to send her to the far land. She believed that God chose this path for her instead of being an arm jewel to some Yakuza brute.
Reality snapped her back from her swirling thoughts as he put the envelope back in the drawer.
“W-what are you doing?” she asked, taking a step forward.
“I will give it to you—” he promised “and tell you everything you want to know—” locking the drawer with a key.
“—After you’ll walk the aisle to me, without any of your misfits,” he finished his sentence.
"To strengthen your cooperation for tomorrow, I'm having your cousin and her husband at gunpoint during the ceremony," he added, making her scream in protest.
"I won't do anything stupid," she pleaded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Just let them be, please. They have little son, Yoongi.”
“I know, that’s why they are the perfect bargain to make you obedient. If this doesn't work, you still have other family members—," Y/N couldn't bear it any longer; she closed the distance between them, standing just inches away from him.
“If you would love me—” she started but before she could finish, he grabbed her waist and pulled her even closer, pressing his body against hers. She could feel his torso and lower body. He bowed down next to her ear.
“I’ll stop this necessary coercion when you’ll learn your place, my love.”
Yoongi loved making her squirm and overwhelm her. He was basking in the effect he had on her. The fact that she will be his wife in less than twelve hours was a source of satisfaction for him.
“You were my woman for a long time now, and you will be my woman till death do us apart.”
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I N T E R L O G U E
“—And you’re certain that the man is on his way to Seoul.” The leader inquired of his trusted friend and partner, seated in the quiet confines of his home office.
“Yes,” Hoseok affirmed with a nod.
"Is there any additional information that I need to be aware of?” Yoongi's voice carried a hint of tension, his teeth gritted in anger.
"As of now, there's nothing more to report," the younger male replied, keeping the conversation concise.
“Do you want me to eliminate him?” Hoseok offered, waiting for his leader's command.
“Not just yet, I was hoping to have the pleasure myself.”
to be continued
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author’s note: so here we are at chapter IV!! ♥ Thank you all so much for for sticking around chummers ♥ They kissed and much moreee!!! We'll see what we'll happen next. I hereby promise to post the chapter sooner than the end of Semptember, or I hope so xD Tho I have some wips to write and if I'll finish some then I'll post something new too ♥
Massive shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta another chapter!
Love you!!!!
Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥
keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.
let's be friends chummers ♥
lots of love,
𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊
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atlabeth · 3 months
Text
she's like the wind
knight!luke masterlist
pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader
summary: you and luke get a reality check.
a/n: ive been on the hurricane train lately but knight!luke still has me in a chokehold lol so here's a lil blurb for you all! based off of this request; title from the patrick swayze song bc are you kidding me "just a fool to believe i am anything she needs" UGH you're everything she needs it's just that neither of you know it yet
wc: 1.8k
warning(s): angst lol! discussions of arranged marriages, luke is sad, princess is sad and a little mean bc she goes into princess mode, they both place their duty above their feelings </3
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okay sooooo
last time we left off you and Luke had a nice lil moonlight dance in your room after you both had to get through a ball 
and things have been pretty good since then! nothing is awkward between the two of you (sometimes being oblivious towards the depth of your feelings is a good thing) and you’re back to joking around w each other all the time
but you’re the princess and things can never be easy for you. Your whole day (and not to be dramatic but basically your whole life) is ruined by a private meeting with your parents. 
It’s marriage. obviously it’s marriage. 
Your kingdom needs allies at a moment like this and marriage is the easiest way to do it so. like. the sooner the better princess!!! 
and like you KNEW it was coming. You knew there was really no way to avoid it. that doesn’t mean you naively hoped you could. 
But it’s one thing for a prince to court you at a ball for the night and forget him as soon as you get home. 
It’s another thing entirely for that prince and his parents to visit your kingdom and stay for a week. which is exactly what’s going to happen. 
During that meeting, your parents tell you that the prince of the kingdom that held the last ball (the one that both sets of parents want you to marry, the one that gave you a tour, the one that is the most boring man alive) and his parents will be staying in the castle
And while your parents will be talking with his, trying to secure an alliance for any kind of protection, they’ve encouraged you to spend time with him, make him feel welcome, forge a bond, make him like you. 
“Why?” you ask. You know the answer, you know what they’re implying, but you want them to say it out loud. You want them to resign you to this fate themselves. 
“Because if all goes well, he will be courting you within the month,” your father says, and yeah, it does make you feel worse now that he’s blatantly said it. you didn’t really know what your plan was there. 
“It is the best decision for all of us, darling,” your mother says. 
You fight them over it. obviously. but it’s no good, and you leave the room absolutely fuming. 
Thankfully, Luke is busy training, because you don’t think that you could explain this to him right now. 
But you don’t tell him even when he later accompanies you to the library. Or when he asks you how your day went. Or when he asks in five different ways if you’re okay. 
Luke knows something is off almost immediately when he meets up with you again because 1. he knows you. 2. you won’t look him in the eye 3. HE KNOWS YOU BFFR
but he doesn’t push it, and you’re eternally thankful. 
Why, you may ask? Because you don’t want to talk to Luke about this kind of thing. 
Why, you may ask again? Because you’re in love with him and don’t know it yet. 
But because you don’t know it yet, you just feel weird talking about stuff like that with him. Even thinking about it around him. It was bad enough when Luke had to accompany you and the prince around the past week—you can’t imagine Luke being around when you’re trying to charm this guy. 
He’s going to find out eventually, namely when said prince arrives in the castle, but you just can not bring yourself to tell him. 
Thankfully, you don’t have to! Because he’s one of the kingsguard and one of the first things they do that next morning is discuss security for the incoming royal family. And even though Luke figures it all out pretty quickly, he figures it out even quicker with the immediate gossip through the servants and maids. 
And listen. 
He knows his place. He knows he’s a knight, he knows he’s your knight, and he knows that his duty is to keep you safe no matter what. He knows just as well as you do that you would be married off eventually, but just like you, he chose to naively ignore that fact for as long as he can. 
And it’s not just you that he has a promise to—when he asked your father to let him be your personal guard, he swore himself to your protection and to stay away from you in that regard. Luke lied and said he would never think of it, but he’s had a thing for you since you were kids. 
Luke guesses he thought he would get over it as he grew, but he’s only fallen harder for you with the years. He’s got himself stuck between a rock and a hard place and he’s got no one to blame but himself. 
But he feels like his teeth are going to crack with how hard he clenches his jaw during the entire meeting. It was difficult enough maintaining his front while the prince showed you around the castle—Luke doesn’t know how he’s going to survive your parents’ most open attempt at arranging marriage thus far. 
At least he has a reason to go see you right after. He is your guard, after all. 
The bigger problem is the correct timing. Luke can tell that you’re upset the instant he’s in your proximity, and he doesn’t want to upset you further in his quest for answers. 
But near the end of the day, when he’s escorted you back to your room after dinner and you’re beginning to take off your jewelry, he finally speaks up. 
“Princess,” Luke said, standing in the doorway, “may I have a word?” 
Your body tensed and your hands stopped on the clasp of a bracelet. You knew what was coming, but you nodded nonetheless. You didn’t know if you would be able to speak with the dryness of your throat. 
You heard the door close behind you, and you busied yourself taking off the rest of your jewelry as Luke began. 
“I’ve heard the royal family of Birchmund is visiting,” he said. 
You wet your lips and swallowed, trying to alleviate the cotton in your mouth. “You’re correct.” 
“And I’ve heard… other things,” he continued. “Of their prince. And you.” 
You closed your jewelry box with a bit too much force. “The decision of my parents.” 
“I figured.” Luke cleared his throat, and you still couldn’t stand to look at him. “What… what is going to happen?” 
“Luke,” you started, “I don’t want to talk about this with you.” 
“Please, princess,” he said. “I… merely want to know what to expect. If you are to be accompanying him most of the week, I’ll have to adjust my own schedule.” 
You bit down hard on the inside of your cheek, steeling yourself before you finally turned around to face him. “My parents want me to get him on our side, Luke. It will be easier to forge an alliance if we have a good relationship, and it will be easier to—” You paused, closing your eyes for a moment before you finished. “To negotiate a marriage if he already likes me.” 
And Luke just stared at you. You didn’t know what he wanted from you, why he wanted to hear you say it. Probably the same reason you wanted to hear your parents say it—to know it was truly real. 
“You don’t want this,” Luke said. His voice was quieter, but his posture hadn’t changed. Always a knight. 
“What I want doesn’t matter,” you said. 
“You’re a person too,” he insisted. “You deserve to go after what you want.” 
“I am a princess before I am a person.” You turned back around and started removing your jewelry again—you needed something to focus on. “I want what is necessary for my kingdom.” 
“Princess.” Luke sounded a little desperate, now. “This— it’s so formal. This isn’t how we talk to each other. We’re friends above everything.” 
Your skin burned where his fingers brushed over your neck, where he held you while you danced. Luke was your closest friend, but— but you couldn’t. You couldn’t have him so close and yearn for so much that you can never have, while the prince you might have to marry stood on your other side. 
“Maybe my priorities have been wrong.” You planted your hands on your vanity to prevent them from shaking. “What I want doesn’t matter. If I can prevent a war by offering my hand, it is my duty to do so.” 
“We…” you swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head. “We cannot keep doing this. It would be an embarrassment to any prince for his betrothed to be so attached to her knight.” 
“We’re friends,” Luke insisted. “We always have been. No prince that desires your hand could understand even the slightest bit of what we’ve been through together.” 
“No,” you agreed. “But that means little in the scheme of everything else.” 
Luke’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. “This can’t possibly make you happy.” 
“What I want doesn’t matter,” you repeated, stronger this time. “This kingdom matters more than— than my childish desires. They depend on us for their protection, and I owe it to each and every one of my people to do all I can to ensure that protection.” 
“Princess—” Luke started, because you both knew what you were referring to, but you held up a hand and it stopped him in his tracks. 
“You are my knight,” you said. “And I am your princess. Eventually, I will be queen. My parents have told me I need to look to the future, to stop with silly trifles before they become more.” 
“It’s more than that,” he said quietly. “You’re my best friend. You’re the reason I’m standing here today.” 
“You act as if your duty is to die for me,” you continued. “But your duty is to keep me safe. And this is how I stay safe—by following the word of my parents and securing it myself.” 
“So this is your solution,” Luke attempted. “To try and ruin our friendship in the name of a marriage you don’t want.” 
“You may retire for the night, Sir Castellan,” you said, and your words rang hollow. “I’d like to be alone.” 
He stared at you, dark eyes indecipherable, but he nodded and moved to the door. Before he shut it, his gaze met yours again. 
“You may not care about what you want,” Luke said quietly. “But I do. And my loyalty is to you, princess. Not your parents. And certainly no prince.” 
Then he bowed, and he closed the door quietly behind him. 
but that night, when you settle into your silken sheets and luke takes his place in the barracks, you think of each other as you fall asleep and you dream of each other once you are.
the ties between you are not so easily broken. 
307 notes · View notes
writingwithciara · 3 months
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He Never Will ~Jack Hughes~
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summary: jack loves his best friend and only wants to protect her from the worlds shittiest boyfriend
word count: 3.6k
pairing: jack hughes x reader, reader x shitty boyfriend
notes: based off the song by alexander stewart (my birthday twin 💕). i've recently become obsessed with this song & haven't put anything out for jack yet so i figured i'd write this for him [TW: toxic relationship with abuse]
masterlist
jack was in love with his best friend. it was cliche and he knew it but he didn’t care. the only thing he cared about was making sure she didn’t find out.
her boyfriend could tell though. he saw the way jack looked at y/n & he hated hearing him talk about her to other people as if he was the one dating her.
it was like a game to hunter though. well, more of a test really.
he had suspicions that y/n was into jack so every once in a while, he would pick a fight with her just to see if she ran crying to jack. and most of the time, she did.
when she didn’t run to her best friend, she would run to his brother or the captain of his hockey team. but to hunter, it didn't matter who she ran to. The point was that she ran to another guy and he didn't like it.
but she always went back to him, no matter how bad he treated her and jack hated that. he knew she deserved better and he wanted to be the one she chose. jack wanted her to stay on one of the many nights she ran to him.
but she never did.
if he don't know what he's got now, he never will
it was the night before jack was supposed to head up to toronto for the all-star game when y/n came back to his place.
the tears were pouring down her face as jack let her into his apartment without a word. he could never bring himself to say i told you so, especially not when she was in such a vulnerable state.
a few minutes of silence passed as they sat on the end of his bed before jack spoke up.
"so what happened tonight?"
"i don't even really know. i got home from work and he was in the middle of trashing my apartment. he said something about me not being faithful to him, which is total bullshit. and i know we have our fights and shit on a daily basis, and that's alright. but tonight felt different. like if i had stayed any longer, maybe he would've hit me or something."
jack looked at her face for any sign of a mark, fearing that she may have been hiding something from him. but there was nothing so he let it slide.
"i'm gonna take you home and i want you to pack a bag as quickly as you possibly can."
"why?" she wiped her eyes and looked at jack.
"you're coming with me to toronto."
"are you nuts? that's only going to make this worse, jack."
"i'm going to be gone for a week and there's no way in hell that i'm leaving you alone with him for that long with no guarantee of safety."
"i'll still have nico. and luke even."
"please just do this for me? i'm worried about leaving you with hunter. i swear the kid's just begging to get his ass beat."
"jack, if i promise to go with you to toronto, will you promise to try to get along with hunter when we get back?"
"y/n, i've already tried. he's a lost cause honestly."
"can we not have this conversation again? i'm tired of hearing it." y/n sighed with frustration and stood up. she began to pace around jack's room.
"until you see how much better you are than hunter, i'm gonna keep bringing it up. and the fact that you've heard it more than once should be enough to tell you something!" jack raised his voice but regretted it immediately when y/n started to cry. "please just listen to me okay? look, i care about you and i only want what's best for you. i'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything. i'm sorry if i upset you." jack pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back as she sobbed.
y/n cried for a good 10 minutes before she finally spoke again.
"i'm not upset with you, jack. i could never be. i'm upset with myself because i know i shouldn't be with someone like hunter but i love him so much and i can't just walk away from that." she looked up at jack and smiled when he wiped her tears away. "please don't hate me for staying with him."
"i could never ever hate you. i hope you know that." he rubbed her back soothingly. "and although i don't support you staying with him, i'm always here if you need me and i'm never ever leaving your side, okay?"
"okay." y/n nodded with a shy smile.
"so, will you please come to toronto with me?"
jack and y/n ended up meeting up with luke and nico before the boys took y/n back o her apartment to get her stuff. luckily for them, hunter was nowhere to be found.
y/n packed a bag quickly and left a little note for hunter. jack didn't agree with that idea, fearing hunter would come find her and do something terrible. but luke and nico assured him that y/n would be safe with them while at the game.
the 4 of them got in the car and were on the plane in no time. y/n took the window seat and jack sat next to her.
"what's going on in your mind?"
"part of me just...i don't know...i feel a little bad for hunter. maybe he's only like this because he didn't get a whole lot of positive attention growing up."
"don't feel bad for that piece of shit, y/n. he doesn't deserve you. and his lack of positive attention is no excuse for the way he treats you. i really hope you understand that someday." jack sighed and changed the topic.
for the rest of the flight, nico did most of the talking while luke did everything he could to keep a smile on y/n's face, even if it was only a small one. he accepted it either way.
when they got to the hotel they were staying at, the lady at the front desk gave them 2 keys. jack handed one to y/n and the group went up to their rooms. y/n wasn't a fan of being alone but at least the boys were just next door if she needed them.
the first night in toronto was not great. y/n woke up from a nightmare screaming and she couldn't bring herself to stop crying. jack heard her scream and was in her room in seconds. his heart broke when he saw the state she was in so he stayed with her for the next two nights.
on draft day, y/n was sitting with nico and luke as they watched the event unfold. she excused herself to use the bathroom and while she was gone, her phone buzzed in her seat.
it was a series of texts from hunter. nico and luke took it upon themselves to respond.
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the two boys shared a look before y/n returned. she noticed their weird behavior and raised an eyebrow.
"you weirdos doing alright?"
"yeah. never better." nico lied and turned his attention back to the draft.
"hunter texted you while you were in the bathroom and we answered him."
"luke!" nico shot his teammate a look before looking over at y/n beside him.
"what did you guys do that for?" y/n opened her phone and went through the messages. "i could've handled it, you guys."
"we're all tired of him treating you like you mean nothing to him. that's not how you deserve to be treated." luke sighed.
"we're sorry, y/n." nico sighed. "we just love you so much."
"i'm not sorry."
"luke!" nico shot him another glare and rolled his eyes.
"i'm sorry, okay? but it had to be said. y/n deserves better than what she has and if you guys want to tell me different, then go right ahead. but we all know the truth." luke sighed. y/n placed her hand on his shoulder and hugged him.
"i know you guys are looking out for me, and i love you for it. so much." y/n looked over at nico. "can you guys let jack know that i'm gonna head back to new jersey before hunter gets here? i need to go pack my stuff."
"are you leaving him?"
"yeah." she stood up and sighed. "i don't know where i'm gonna go though."
"crash at jack's. you know he won't mind."
"yeah because he's in love with her." luke chuckled, earning another glare and a wide-eyed expression from y/n.
"that's supposed to be a secret, luke."
"oh, my bad. i thought she knew."
"that's a conversation for another day. i got something to focus on right now. but i won't forget you told me." y/n kissed luke's head and gave nico a hug before heading back to the hotel to pack. she left a note for jack because she knew the boys would forget to tell him.
when everything was done, y/n found herself back on the plane to new jersey.
the flight wasn't long but it gave her some time to think about what luke told her. she was shocke but everything was hitting her all at once.
had jack always felt this way?
when the plane landed, y/n got in the first cab she could find and headed to her apartment. as the car approached the building, y/n was suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread. she didn't want to end up running into hunter on the off chance he hadn't actually gone to toronto.
she slowly unlocked the front door and made her way inside. when there was no sign of hunter, y/n let out a sigh of relief before making her way to the bedroom.
she grabbed her suitcase and started throwing all her clothes into it. unfortunately, she only made it through half her clothes before she heard the door open and close. she tried to hide the fact that she was leaving but hunter entered the room before she could do anything.
"why would you feel the need to lie about where you were going?"
"you wouldn't have let me go support my best friends, hunter. i had no other choice. lying was my only option. plus i needed a damn break."
"what could you have possibly needed a break from?"
"from you. you're constantly keeping track of my whereabouts and you won't let me spend any time with my friends. the only time i get to see jack is whenever you start some pointless argument and drive me away for a night. it's getting to the point where i need to put my own mental health above everything."
"what the fuck are you trying to say?"
"i'm leaving, hunter. this is too much." y/n went to grab her bag but hunter gripped her wrist firmly.
"you're not going anywhere."
"let me go!"
"you're not going anywhere." he repeated, this time with emphasis on each word.
"i swear to god, if you don't let me go, i'll-"
"you'll what? call jack to come rescue you like always? well you can't. he's in toronto and i-"
at this point, y/n was tired of him and his comments about jack. she reached for the nearest object and swung it at his arm. hunter released his grip on her and before he could grab her again, she grabbed her suitcase and used it to keep some distance between them.
"i'll be back for my other stuff later."
"whatever, bitch."
y/n rolled her eyes and hurried out of the apartment. when she got in her car, she broke down and facetimed jack.
he picked up with a smile but it disappeared when he saw her tears.
"what happened? why did you go back to jersey?"
"i thought hunter was gonna be in toronto...and i figured i'd take that opportunity to come home and pack my stuff & leave the apartment. but he came home and...." y/n began to sob harder. "he hurt me, jack. hs grabbed my arm and it hurts so much. i don't know why i'm calling you when there's nothing you can do about it now."
"bullshit. i'm getting on the next flight home and i'm going to kick that douchebag's ass."
"jack, you're a captain of an all star team. you can't leave. quinn needs you there."
"but you need me there more." jack moved around the hotel room to pack his bag. "besides, quinn has elias and if he really needs another hughes, luke is here too. plus, i can't even compete in the all-star game so there's really no point in me being here."
"but this is important to you, jack."
"y/n, you are more important than any hockey game, all-star or not. you are my best friend and i'm going to be there for you when you need me to be." he looked at his laptop. "i'll be home in about 5 hours, okay?"
"okay." y/n sniffled and wiped her eyes. "is it alright if i-"
"of course you can stay with me. you don't even have to ask." jack smiled softly at the girl on his screen. "want me to stay on the phone with you?"
"please? i mean, if you don't mind." y/n propped her phone in the holder and began driving to jack's apartment.
"anything for you. you know that." jack kept y/n on the phone while he knocked on luke and nico's door. luke answered and smiled at his brother.
"hey. what's up?"
"i'm heading home. y/n needs me."
"just how in love with her are you?" luke smirked, not even realizing that y/n's face was on jack's screen and she could hear everything.
"dude, she's on the phone." jack's eyes darted down to his phone and back to luke's, whose eyes only widened when he realized.
"cat's out of the bag. oops." luke went to shut the door. "good luck, jack."
luke shut the door completely and jack looked back at his phone.
"for the record, luke is an idiot and i wouldn't listen to anything he says ever."
"never do." y/n smiled. jack returned the smile and couldn't help but stare at her as he headed down to the lobby to hail a cab.
"i won't be able to talk to you while i'm on the flight but i'll call you when i land, okay?"
"okay." y/n pulled into the parking lot of jack's building and got out. as she made her way into the apartment, part of her felt relieved. it felt like she was home.
"alright. the flight is boarding but i'll make sure to call you when i land. help yourself to anything in the apartment. there's some bath bombs and bubble bath at the back of my closet in case you want to take a nice, relaxing bath."
"thanks again, jack. for everything. i really appreciate you. have a safe flight."
"i will. love you."
"love you too." y/n smiled and hung up. she made her way into jack's room and pulled the bath stuff out from his closet. she ran the water for her bath and put on some calming music while also lighting a few candles. she put the cotton candy bath bomb in the water and when it was filled, she got in.
she hadn't even been paying attention to the time when jack got home. he stumbled in through the door with a busted lip and a shiny black eye.
"jesus christ. what the hell happened to you?"
"i'm sorry. i know you don't like it when i get violent off the ice, but i had to stop at hunter's before i came home. he hurt you so i hurt him. tit for tat i guess."
"how bad did you hurt him?"
"pretty bad. he's like 10 times worse than me right now."
"you didn't have to do that for me, jack." y/n looked at the cut on his lip. "now let's go clean up your lip and see if we can do something about that eye." y/n grabbed his hand and brought him to the bathroom. she sat him on the edge of the tub and grabbed a rag from the bin, running it under some warm water.
jack watched her every move intently, afraid that if he looked away, she would fade into a memory.
y/n wiped the dried blood from his face and started looking through her own bag for something to heal the black eye faster.
"you know, i don't hate it when you get violent off the ice, especially when it's to defend me. kinda think it's hot that you would put yourself in the way of violence if you're protecting me." she applied a cream to his left eye and placed a gentle kiss just below the bruise. when she pulled away from his face, she made eye contact with him. "i love you but can you please stop getting into fights?"
"thought you found it hot when i did." jack smirked.
"i do. but i also don't like seeing you get hurt." y/n ran her hands through his hair slowly while his hands held her waist. he tugged her closer and hugged her tightly.
"you're truly a blessing and i hate that hunter could never realize what he had."
"hopefully he realizes what he had now that he's lost it."
"you would never go back to him again, would you?" jack moved his had from his resting spot on her stomach and looked up at her.
"and leave you? no chance in hell will that ever happen." y/n knelt down to be at eye level with him.
there was something about the way he was looking at her that made her feel like they were alone in the world.
jack looked at her and he swore his heart began to beat faster. her gaze was focused on his lips and she tried to look away but she couldn't.
when jack's thumb reached up to draw delicate circles on her cheek, she knew she was screwed.
for years she was telling herself that she didn't have feelings for jack but here they were now, in the bathroom, sharing an intimate moment.
the feelings hit her hard and before she knew it, she was pulling jack in for a gentle kiss. when she tried to pull away, jack held her cheeks and poured everything into the kiss.
by the time the kiss ended, they were both out of breath and their faces were red. jack had a playful smirk on his face as he admired y/n's features.
"you are so incredibly beautiful, y/n. can't believe hunter would treat you so badly."
"how about we stop talking about that asshole & instead focus on this?" she gestured between them and smirked. "i love you and i'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."
"i'm sorry i never told you how i felt." jack continued to hold onto her face while y/n held his arms. "in case it's not obvious now, i do actually love you. but how could i not? i mean you are the most incredible human being & definitely the most precious person i've ever known. you are perfect in every way and i will spend the rest of my life showing you how you deserve to be loved. i-if that's alright with you."
"you are all i want and all i need jack. forever and always, since forever." she wrapped her pinky around his and smiled. a simple gesture that's been part of their lives since they were 9 but they loved it because it meant more to them than anyone could ever know.
taglist: @worldlxvlys @fearfam69691
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sunflower-lilac42 · 5 months
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✧ 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 | connor bedard ♔
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summary: y/n surprises her boyfriend at his first game where he scores an overtime winner
warnings: surprises
notes: connor! connor! connor! that goal was so amazing last night, my dad and i were lowkey freaking out about it and his post game interview omg. i love him so much. fuck everyone who hates chicgao because no matter what we stay loyal to our teams even if they do all suck. it was nice to take a break from writing fics about songs but I kinda miss it but I think I'm still gonna do a few without songs or at least ones for the nhl x ts. let me know what you guys want to see next!
nhl masterlist | main masterlist
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Y/n sat anxiously in her seat, biting her nails and her leg bouncing as she watched the game. This wasn’t the first overtime that Connor had been a part of, it also wasn’t the second. The Hawks had been to overtime 4 times, including tonight, in the whole season, losing only one. Yet, this was the first time she was present for one, well actually any game.
Being at school it was hard to form and support her boyfriend but with the break being here she finally came to watch him. He didn’t know, which made this all the more exciting for her.
Janelle sat next to her, just as anxious as the girl, as Milana cheered for her dad. They watched and moved their eyes simultaneously for three minutes until they stopped in the Hawks’ zone. 
Tito skated to center ice before swinging back around and passing the puck to Lukas. Lukas waited patiently until his teammate was near and swiftly passed it to Connor.
Y/n prayed silently as he took the puck, easily skating through guys down the ice, getting close enough on the Jets’ side, shooting it, and making it into the goal. 
Janelle and y/n stood up cheering, the younger of the two naturally being more excited. She clapped as everyone surrounded the rookie and she held a smile on her face.
Watching his interview she couldn’t help but tear up a little because just earlier Connor had called her and talked about how he felt he wasn’t contributing much to the team. They had known each other for so long and she always stood by him so being here, knowing that he just proved his own words wrong, felt great to her.
Janelle took her daughter and y/n outside as the girl felt she was suffocating from the number of people that were still in the UC. They waited for their partners to come out, making small talk about how school was going.
They could hear the slight chatter from behind them, turning around to see the team slowly start to file out of the arena. Tito walked out with Murphy and Seth, noticing the two standing there, “They’ll be out soon.”
They both nodded and expressed their gratitude watching them walk off. It wasn’t long before Nick was walking out with Connor, talking about something that was probably hockey-related. Nick looked up and saw his wife and y/n standing there, stopping and nudging the boy, “Hey.”
Connor looked up from his phone looking at his teammate, “What?” 
He gestured to his right and Connor looked that way, “Oh my-”
He wasted no time in dropping his bag and running to his girlfriend, easily picking her up and swinging her around. She let out a loud laugh, wrapping her arms around him, hitting him so she could be put down, “Put me down, psycho.”
Connor placed her down and leaned his forehead against her own, “I can’t believe you’re here.”
Nick took his family off to the side to let the two teenagers have their moment. Y/n placed her hands on Connor’s cheek, holding his face, “I’m so proud of you.”
Connor blushed and stayed silently, not knowing what to say. She gave him a look, “Connor, come on. Be proud of yourself.”
He nodded, “I am. But I’m also still in shock that you’re here.” She kissed him and he kissed back, “Best believe it Con because I’m here and I’m coming on your roadie with you.”
“No fucking way.”
“Yes way, school is closed for another week so, my family and I decided to fly down to Dallas and then I think my friends and I will go out East with you.” Connor couldn’t stop bouncing on his feet, even pulling away to jump.
Nick and Janelle walked over, Milana following excitedly behind them, “You guys want to go out to celebrate.” Y/n nodded her head enthusiastically and the five of them headed off to go out for dinner.
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𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you
@dancerbailey3 | @if-my-heart-bleeds | @sarawinson78 | @pucks-goals-penalties | @privatemythss | @5secondsofonedirection222 | @piavettel33 | @bohemianrapshawty | @mikayladavis | @hockeyboysarehot | @Whoopwhoop123
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343 notes · View notes
ressjeon · 1 year
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endearing | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
summary: you're just worried when your loud housemate suddenly goes quiet after serenading you for hours
rating: pg13 | word count: 1.3k
genre/au: housemates!au, romance?, fluff (lmao who's this), they're just fRiEnDs 🤭
warnings/content: just alcohol consumption, they're sweet ig 🥰
a/n: yk i’m supposed to be on break (literally on midterm season) but here we are. also i haven’t written a purely SFW drabble for a very long time so please bear with me i just love him sm. huge thank you to my phone's voice feature lol, i'd never finished this in a few hours with how slow i usually am.
companion song: more than friends by becky g 💖
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You’re scrolling through your phone when you notice that the whole house has suddenly turned quiet.
You couldn’t be that you’re fixated on your phone that you didn’t notice your housemate has ended his karaoke session because you swear the living room was still loud just a few minutes ago. Jungkook, one of your housemates, has been singing his heart out since past 1 AM today. Not that you mind it really, because you’re a night owl, just like him. You love it when he does his live streams because he usually does karaoke sessions in each of them no matter what he was doing at first.
Jungkook’s one of the popular students on your campus and has a huge following on his IG account, which he uses mainly for everything, no matter how random they are. He deletes his pictures often though when he feels like changing his feed. You’re hoping that he just archived them because he’s quite talented at photography. However, he does frequent lives on IG in return since people tune in when he goes live anyway, filled with comments from either his group of friends or his admirers.
It’s been a while since you heard Jungkook singing. He has a very beautiful voice that even though he doesn’t remember the lyrics for most of the songs that he sang, he still sounded so good to anyone who’s listening. Your other housemates are still not back from their reading week vacation, giving Jungkook the only time when he could be as loud as he can in the house without disturbing anybody. He’s aware that you stay up like him and listen to him when he’s singing, relieved that out of your housemates, it’s you who remained with him. Both of you are the only ones who didn’t go anywhere because of your packed schedules.
Tonight, as diverse as his playlist is, you still feel like he’s serenading you with most of his song choices. Those songs are on your playlist too, which he knew since you’ve shared each other’s links before. So now you’re going to let yourself be deluded, humming along to the songs while you’re getting your tasks done. When the music stopped, you thought he was just taking breaks, so you didn’t think much of it. Jungkook usually creates small noises after he’s done, cleaning up the living room and kitchen before going back to his room.
But it’s suddenly quiet. Did he fall asleep already? Should you check, but then why would you? Jungkook sleeps anywhere at any time unlike you, but you’ve always been paranoid. The lazy part of you wants to close your eyes and fall asleep already, but the other part wants to go down and check. It’s just normal right just in case? Besides, it’s also part of your responsibility as a housemate.
It’s the least you could do for Jungkook because he took care of you many times when you come home drunk from house parties at 5 AM. He even took as much as helping you by being there while you let everything out, offering you a glass of water and making sure you remove your makeup before tucking you into your bed after. He cooks you noodle soup in the morning too in case you get hangovers, which you thankfully don't but your heart somersaults every time with how thoughtful he is.
So despite how comfy your bed is right now, you forced yourself to get up and pushed away your comforter before going down to the living room to check.
And your guts were right because you see Jungkook sleeping soundly on his stomach by the couch with a lighted-scented candle on the table in front of him. The light from the candle allows you to see his handsome face clearly, with flushed cheeks and slightly puckered lips as he sleeps in his arms. He looks adorable, wearing a black crewneck in sweater paws, obscuring his colourful sleeve from your eyes. His cute snores crack a small smile on your face as you approach his sleeping figure, carefully taking the remote from his hands. Sure, he’s a deep sleeper, but you didn’t want to wake him up because it’s already 4 AM and you’re a bit sleepy too.
You then turn off the TV and unplugged the mood lamp that he designed for one of his classes. It’s so pretty, and he brings it out in the living room once in a while, especially when he’s doing his live streams. You also just noticed the half-filled beer mug on the table, taking it with you to the kitchen where you’ve put it back on the ref before deciding to look for spare blankets for him. You couldn’t find any though, so you just opted for his room, which is surprisingly wide open.
Jungkook stays in the room on the first floor, so he frequents the living room when he’s not gaming or doing schoolwork. Entering his room, you grabbed his blanket at once, fighting the urge to nuzzle it, given how good Jungkook usually smells when you hug him. You went back to the living room and put the blanket over him, pushing away a strand of his hair from his closed eyes before tucking it behind his ears. His hair had gotten longer and curly, so fluffy too that you’d been expressing how you love this look on him. Jungkook smiles when you do, letting you ruffle his hair more.
He stirs a bit, causing you to go rigid and worried that you woke him up. You don’t move until you were sure that he’s fully sleeping. And though he might not hear it, you still wish him a quiet good night before eyeing the candle. You love the smell of it but for safety reasons, you blow out and retreat upstairs to your room.
.
The footsteps padding in the hallway woke you up from your deep slumber, being the sensitive sleeper you are. You’re wondering how Jungkook’s awake at this hour and why he’s up here, reluctantly rising from your bed before opening the door. There you watch him scurrying back to the stairs wrapped in his blankets looking like a deer caught in the headlights when he hears you.
“Jungkook? why are you awake? do you need something? it’s still early” you asked him sleepily while rubbing your eyes.
“um, i woke up and i-uh” he couldn’t look you in the eye, the nervousness evident in his voice. “you can’t sleep?” you yawn, yearning to go back to your comfy bed but you just wanna talk to him more. 
Jungkook shakes his head. “i just wanna say thank you for earlier and uh-sorry for waking you up” he grins apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck.
“oh Kook, that’s nothing compared to what you’ve done more for me” you smile at him, truly grateful for his existence in your life. Hold, you’re sleep deprived to be having these thoughts right now but Jungkook just looks so endearing in your eyes despite how sleepy you still are. 
Damn, you really should sleep more.
He’s oddly looking at you fondly so you mimic him, both of you waiting who will back down first. Jungkook looks like he wants to say something more, tongue poking around his lip ring with that doe eyes of his. You smile at him, urging him to continue. He’s back to being shy around you these days for some reason but you don’t wanna pry, just want him to be comfortable as much as possible. 
“i’m still sleepy so i’m going back to my room” you can see him retracting so you approach him, a knowing smile already plastered on your face. “do you wanna cuddle? i think we’ll fit in my bed” his nervous eyes were replaced with excitement, following you to your room.
You didn’t even get to lie down on your bed properly when he tackles you, spurring a hearty giggle out of you with him matching you. “what?” he hugs you right away, mumbling something against your skin as he snuggles his head on the crook of your neck. Your hands automatically card through his luscious hair until you hear his breathing slow down, and his cute snores occurring once again. 
Guess you’ll never know what all these are for until he wakes.
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e/n: i'm testing many things from this so hope it's wholesome enough lmao (i tried). have a lovely week everyone!
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doobea · 8 months
Text
DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE
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synopsis: Being a college student sucks. Having a crush on your best friend also sucks. Your best friend having a crush on your other best friend is . . . kinda the worst. In which, Reo is hopelessly in love with you but you’re hard crushing on Nagi.
-> MASTERLIST.
contents: reo centric, second lead syndrome feat. fem!reader & reo, heavy narration, also in an au where bluelock never happened LOL, starts from past -> present day, mentions of unrequited confessions, country farmgirl!reader -> stem major in college, insert anime cliche of riverbanks and convos about falling in love, kinda proofed word count: 4K (HUH??) a/n: i wrote this while listening to shoujo openings - lets try and find a song suited for these two (eventual) lovebirds, shall we? 'mini-series' my ass idk why the first chap came out so long??? whoops.
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SUMMER TRIANGLE -> next.
Reo can’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with you. 
He thinks it starts all the way back when you first transferred to Hakuho during his second year. 
You were a quiet country girl whose parents had just moved to the big city all due to your father’s new job. And it was painfully obvious that it was your first time experiencing anything remotely ‘fancy’ when you came to school the first day. At the time, you were still wearing your old high school uniform, saying something about shipping getting delayed. Your skirt came almost all the way down to your ankles, your sweater vest had loose threads sticking around the edges, and your shirt still carried its creased marks. 
To anyone in that school, you looked like an eyesore. Whispers about your family’s net worth, your relationship with the school’s faculty, and whether or not you cheated your way through the entrance exam began circulating.
From the moment you stepped inside the class, Reo knew you would get hell from the nation’s young elites. Reo thought by the end of the first quarter you would’ve dropped out and transferred to another school. 
The first few months were rough, from what he observed. No one wanted to partner up with you for group projects, students would try to misplace your assignments, harsh messages were marred onto your desk earlier mornings before you arrived, and your gym clothes always went missing. But you stayed awfully silent, didn’t complain much, and quickly made yourself known to be the “weird, quiet farm girl”. Reo thinks everyone left you alone after you managed to score top ten in the class during finals week, despite the harassment. Still, even after all of that, no one bothered talking to you like normal and moved on to the next hot topic as if you were a dying trend. 
Reo didn’t get the chance to talk to you much that year but, safe to say, he was pleasantly surprised to see you again the following semester. Instead of sitting all the way in the back of the classroom, you were seated by the windows. And the empty desk next to you? It was his.
Carefully, Reo placed his bag down on his desk, trying his best not to disturb whatever book you’re currently nose-deep in, and cleared his throat.
“Hi, I’m Reo Mikage,” he introduced himself and was taken aback when you stared at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. He figured it was because he was one of the first to genuinely say anything to you without any malicious intent behind his words.
As you softly mumbled back your name, the gentle cadence as it escaped your lips, coupled with the swift turn of your head towards the window, Reo couldn't help but be enthralled by how soft your features looked in the sunlight. You’ve always kept your appearances simple, trying to not shine too much otherwise the other students would start talking again but, for some reason, all of that made Reo drawn to you more.
While you were deskmates, the two of you didn’t talk much outside of classroom-related topics. And it was always him starting the conversations, not that he minded. Him being close friends with Nagi, who was also a social outcast, made Reo slightly more curious about you ever since the new semester started. But you kept your distance, for obvious reasons. So, after a while, he reached out to you only out of necessity. 
Fast forward two months and Reo is found slipping a party invitation on your desk. Well, not specifically yours, but everyone’s desks. Word of his father’s business migration with another classmate’s family company spread like wildfire before journalists had the chance to write up a meaningless article and Reo was forcefully instructed to invite his entire class to celebrate for the occasion. 
So he did. 
And, of course, everyone and their parents decided to show up. There were a few students that he didn’t recognize, probably snuck in through bribery or faked the invitation — not that he ultimately cared. There were more than a handful of mothers who had proudly flaunted themselves at his father and more than a dozen other student’s fathers trying to network with Reo. 
At seventeen, Reo told himself that this was something he should’ve gotten used to by now, but it honestly felt horribly embarrassing every time. Reo blocked out the comments about the lack of ‘fancier food’ and ‘decor’ in his own home and retreated upstairs to his bedroom with Nagi trailing not far from behind.
“How long do you think they’re staying for?”
“Hm?” Nagi briefly looked up from his phone, eyes focusing on Reo’s perplexed expressions as he lay in bed. The male shifts around in Reo’s office chair and taps away at his device with a shrug in response. “Dunno, when the food and drinks run out maybe?”
Reo ran a hand through his hair, brows furrowing more as sounds from outside gradually grew louder. “This always ends up happening and I don’t understand why can’t he find a reception hall to throw this.” He paused, listened closely to the voices and conversations, and scoffed. “Do you know what they’re saying right now, Nagi?”
“Ah,” Nagi frowned as a deflated noise emitted from his phone, indicating he lost a match. He went into another queue and bounced his leg against the floor in waiting. “No, what are they saying out there?”
“That they think I’ll be together with Rika by the end of this year.” Reo launched his body upright at the thought, lips pursed tightly. 
Again, Nagi doesn’t bother looking up. He just landed in a new match. “That heiress? Doesn’t seem like your type.”
“Since when do you know anything about types, Nagi?” Reo was half expecting Nagi to say something dumb relating to those terrible romance novel games that he sometimes plays. 
The other male shrugged again, eyes flicking up this time. “Just doesn’t seem like it, that’s all.”
“You—”
The conversation abruptly ended with a single swing of the door. The door frame nearly collided with Nagi's face, accompanied by a high-pitched yelp. Reo had invited the whole class, but this was one of the people he hadn’t really expected to show up.
You were almost unrecognizable. Hair straightened, over blushed cheeks, a lipstick color that was too mature on you. The dress you wore hugged awkwardly to your sides and the height from your heels seemed to be too tall for you to maneuver around. From one glance, he knew you were uncomfortable.
You clung to the door handle, attempting to steady yourself, evident signs of mortification settling in. “S-Sorry, I was looking for the bathroom.”
Those words almost sounded foreign to Reo. The only times you’ve spoken to him were in curt, stoic sentences either about math or science assignments. He’d never seen you this flustered or worked up before. 
Reo snapped out of his inner thoughts when Nagi decided to roll out from behind the door frame with a hand over his nose. Nagi looked unphased, but the familiar dull sound from his phone proved otherwise. 
“Made me lose another round,” Nagi said simply and Reo watched as you fidgetted around, almost appearing self-cautious now. 
“I’m sorry?” Was all you said in response. 
Reo was about to hop out of bed, the bathroom directions loaded on his tongue, until a herd of footsteps followed by loud giggles was ascending the stairs. “Wait, close the door; I don’t want anyone coming in here.” The last thing he wanted was his classmates messing around with his personal belongings.
You appeared even more bewildered. “Um, I still need to—”
“He has a bathroom in his room, don’t worry,” Nagi interjected.
You were quick to believed Nagi's words and shut the door before heads peeked from the staircase. Reo shot his friend a questioning look as you shuffle your way to his bathroom and Nagi merely shrugged once again. Reo found himself thinking, finding that his plan of hiding away had just gotten a whole lot more complicated and awkward with you being in the picture. They both stayed quiet until you walked out, eyes facing everywhere but the two of them.
Reo's voice jolted you back to reality. “Sorry if this sounds rude but why are you here?” Okay, no matter how he would've phrased it, it did sound rude.
You didn't seem to mind it, probably already used to the harsh treatment. “My parents saw the invitation and got excited. They bought all these things for me last minute and dropped me off. I only said yes to coming because they were worried I wasn’t making any friends.” You explained, your steady nonchalant tone masking a layer of vulnerability.
Reo felt vaguely guilty at the response. Maybe he should've skipped your desk altogether? No, that would've been borderline bullying, he thought. Still, you shouldn't have been pressured to go.
“Did you want to hang out here instead?” Nagi casually offered up as if it was his house too. “We’re avoiding everyone else.”
“Nagi—!”
“What?” Nagi blinked at Reo in confusion, cocking his head slightly. “It’s written all over your face.”
He doesn't even know what expression he's making right now. All that Reo hoped was that you don't end up saying anything weird the next day. Not that he assumed you would be the type but, judging from how his guests acted earlier, he felt safer keeping his guard up.
There was a momentary pause, and then you gave a small nod, eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and relief. “Only if you’re fine with it.”
"Shouldn't matter to us," Nagi answered.
Reo considers this particular moment to be the turning point in your close friendship. It was his party, but almost everyone attending seemed to have forgotten his whereabouts soon after he disappeared.
At first, he was hesitant to talk about his thoughts or just about anything really, but Nagi didn't seem to care. As you and Nagi engaged in a somewhat awkward conversation about video games – or rather, Nagi half-scolding you for making him lose – Reo, after finally getting tired of listening, spent the remainder of the time venting about the various students and teachers at school.
That was nearly two years ago.
As the first year of college draws to a close, the three of you, on a spontaneous whim, decided to host a modest celebration in Reo and Nagi's shared apartment, only sending out invites to a handful of your close classmates.
You arrive about two hours before everyone else with the cake and drinks in hand, letting the door shut behind you as you rush into the kitchen. Nagi’s sitting on the countertop in the corner, attempting his best to unravel some of the cheesy party decorations that you insisted on getting, and Reo is pouring a weird red jello shot mixture into tiny plastic cups in the living room. 
The three of you haven’t realized just how busy everything would be after starting college. Hangouts would only be frequent maybe once or twice a week, but everyone’s schedule was all over the place. You had your three-hour labs, Reo signed up to become Treasurer and President for two student organizations, and Nagi pretty much slept all day as soon he came back from lectures. Now, with this year finally coming to an end, Reo is finally looking forward to spending more time with everyone with summer nearing. 
“Do we really need this many streamers?” Nagi is sighing as he swings his legs back and forth.
He managed to string a couple of them into long-wrapped strands but gave up halfway. There’s a bag of animal headbands next to him, so he fiddles with them next, claiming a bear-themed one for himself.
You set down the items on the counter and waltz over to his side, immediately fishing through the bag for your own pair. “We do and—,” Reo watches your lips upturn right as you reach over to Nagi, adjusting his headband and fixing his hair in the process. “—the bear suits you well.”
Nagi hums in thought and leans into your touch, seemingly unaware of your flustered state. “Think so?”
“I—uh yeah, you’re like a big bear sometimes…”
He helps you dig through the bag and pulls out a headband with cat ears. Without hesitation, Nagi tucks your hair back slightly and carefully places it onto your head. A satisfied faint smile makes its way onto his face. “It looks cute on you.”
Reo almost spills the remanding liquid all over the coffee table from the scene and breaks away from the before it evolves into something more. He hears you trying to say something back, maybe a ‘thank you’ or a compliment, but it comes out as incoherent noises and soft mumbles. And, although tonight is supposed to be reserved for a well deserved celebration, Reo can’t help but to think he doesn’t even feel like he belongs in his own apartment right now. 
“What do you think, Reo?” Nagi calls out.
“What do you mean?”
“Doesn’t she look cute in them?”
Reo pours the last bits of the liquid into the cups and glances over. It takes everything in him to not turn the slightest shade of red because you look do look ridiculously cute in that headband.
He sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry. “Looks the same to me.”
You roll your eyes and blow one back. “I was gonna assign you the bunny eared one but now you’re getting the rat.”
Reo chooses to not say anything back, not that it really mattered. He gets up and places the empty pitcher into the sink and focuses his attention to the dining room. The table is a bit messy, cluttered with stacks of his business textbooks and your forgotten stationary supplies. He has food catered that’ll be arriving within the next hour, so he spends this time cleaning and setting up the area.
Their dining room goes vastly unused with how often Reo and Nagi eat out. Because of this, Reo settled with a small table tucked in the kitchen corner that’s mainly used as a storage area rather than eating—so it’s kind of nice seeing it finally being used for its intended purpose.
It’s you, him, Nagi, Chigiri, Isagi, and Bachira that eventually congregate around the area. Before the party, Reo tells his friends not to bring any gifts or extra food, but they show up with them anyway. Chigiri brings over a really good sushi bake while Isagi and Bachira gift Reo a shitty Ouija board for whatever reason and… well the party is actually pretty nice. 
Way different from all the other stuffy parties Reo grew up with and he thinks this might be the only party where he’s surrounded by people he cares about. No serious conversations about the family business or his future plans, just really lame attempts to call out whatever spirits Bachira thinks lives in their outdated fireplace.
“That was fun,” You say quietly after everyone else leaves. 
The apartment is a little bit messy, even though Isagi did most of the heavy-duty cleanup. There are still some dishes piled up in the sink and confetti peppered all over the living area but Reo will procrastinate on that for tonight.
He’s sprawled on the couch, head thrown back as he melts his entire body weight onto the furniture, tired and socially drained for the night. He only looks to the side when you plop down in the tiny empty space next to him, face deep in thought and cheeks warm. Reo knows that look. He’s seen it maybe over a hundred times at this point. 
It’s about Nagi Seishiro.
“I think I’m gonna do it tonight.” You’re whispering into his ear and Reo picks up on the sweet, subtle perfume laced around your neck. It seems like you had just applied it moments before coming over. 
He forces a smile and glosses over a fake veil of excitement. “Oh, finally? You’re not going to chicken out like the last couple of times?” 
You smack his arm, cheeks puffed out. “I’m not! I’m taking your advice for once. Better now than never, you know?”
“Yeah,” Reo says, maybe a bit too fast.
His mind is racing, along with the drumming in his chest, because you’re not joking around this time. The look in your eyes tells him that you’re serious and he feels really confused. Reo has been encouraging you since high school to get with Nagi and, now that you’re actually following through, he doesn’t know what to make of it. 
Maybe it’s his ego, pride, or just plain possessiveness that’s driving him mad. But he knows better than to wish anything but happiness for his two best friends. Nagi, although more introverted and aloof, has become more open whenever you’re around and you two do make a good couple—at least that’s what Reo convinces himself.  
He finds himself dozing off against the balcony railing outside on the apartment’s porch while you go off to find Nagi in his room. Reo scans the area, taking in the dim orange lights from the street lamps on campus and the warm inviting late spring breeze. It’s a decent distraction.
The college campus is really nice, an old one, with lots of mature trees, and stretches of green between the buildings, all connected with little cobblestone walkways. It’s almost like stepping back in time because Tokyo is a large, sprawling city. Reo decides he likes it. It’s way different from his past life, very jarring from his lavish big, but empty, mansion with butlers and maids alike, his old home was so different than this new, slower-paced way of life. 
Reo’s over himself when hears the porch door slide from behind him, he doesn’t need to turn around to know that it’s you. And, judging from the way your body flops against the railing, he concludes that it didn’t go well. It’s strange, he thought Nagi would’ve reciprocated the feelings back at least a little bit. Reo makes a mental note to privately ask his friend about it later.
He avoids your gaze and continues to stare at the city skyline in the distance, waiting for you to say the first word. 
After a while, you sigh. “Do you… do you think he’ll be uncomfortable around me?”
Reo feels his heart stuttering in his chest. “Of course not,” He answers quickly and relaxes when he sees the frown on your features slowly disappearing. “Nagi’s not the type to easily throw away a good friendship.” Reo knows that by heart.
You groan and bury your face into your palms, shrinking more into your oversized campus hoodie. “I’m so dumb, Reo…” Your voice comes out muffled and strained. “I should’ve never said anything.”
Reo wrestles with the thought that he’s an asshole for thinking quite the opposite. On one hand, he's relieved that you got rejected, but on the other hand, witnessing your heart break doesn't make things any easier for him. He’s still your friend at the end of the day.
He refrains the urge to extend his arms, grab your shoulders, and draw you into the warmth of his chest. Suppressing the desire to run his fingers through your hair, tenderly massage your scalp, and whisper that everything will be okay—that he's by your side. Instead, Reo opts for a laugh, presenting you with his credit card. “Let’s set him aside for a moment and concentrate on you.”
You peer up from your sleeves, immediately widening your eyes in disbelief and then shooting him a half-glare. “I’m not gonna be spending your money, Reo. You can’t fix a broken heart with that.”
“Yeah,” Reo softly agrees, face crescent fallen briefly before recovering. He shuffles towards you, just close enough so that your shoulders touch. “But I know where we can go.”
Your eyes sparkle at the idea, already knowing the exact location Reo is mentioning. There’s a quaint riverbank not too far from the campus and high school, the one that you would always go to whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed or upset. Reo knows that it reminds you of home, the countryside, and listening to the steady streams helps calm your nerves.
With Nagi likely cooped up in his room, the two of you sneak out of the apartment, and the night air wraps around you both like a comforting blanket.
By the time you two arrive at the riverbank, you find a comfortable spot to lie down near the top of the hill. Reo joins next to you, the cool grass beneath him contrasting with the warmth of his body. Slowly, the heaviness that lingered from earlier begins to dissipate.
Reo lies on his side, the night enveloping the two of you in a cocoon of solitude. His voice, gentle and warm, breaks the silence, "Hey," he faintly calls out your name. Patiently, he waits until your body turns to mirror his, until you're just inches away, and the distant sounds of passing cars fade into the background.
It annoys him how clueless you are, how you’re able to be physically bold and unapologetically yourself when around him but, when it comes to Nagi, you turn into a stuttering, blushing mess. He selfishly wishes to have that all to himself. “Why don’t you fall in love with me instead?”
Reo watches your eyes widen, mirroring the same motions you did when he first introduced himself to you, and your body reacts first before you’re able to construct words. You kick him, admittedly harder than he would’ve liked, followed by an immediate apology.
“That was a joke, right? Like a really, really, really bad joke?”
Pretending not to feel the pang in his chest, Reo rubs his shin and forces a chuckle, his arm thrown over his face to conceal any hint of redness that might betray him in the night. “Yeah, thought it would cheer you up somehow,” he lamely replies.
The sound of your huff and shuffling suggests you turned away, likely out of annoyance. Reo senses a momentary pause, and he thinks you might be on the verge of tears again until you murmur, “Love is so complicated.”
A twitch courses through him and he swallows hard against a lump in his throat before joining the conversation, “People do a lot of things when they’re in love. You confessing to Nagi tonight was out of love.”
“Yeah, I just wished it was easy to… I guess, understand.”
“Love happens randomly and doesn’t need reasons. If love was easy to understand then most of our world’s problems would go away.”
“Have you ever been in love, Reo?”
"I have," he answers truthfully. As you shuffle some more, he peeks from under his arm to find your face wide, brimming with curiosity. Reo sets his arm aside and smirks. "What makes you think I’m gonna tell you?"
You’re toying with the hem of your hoodie, looking like you’re about to jump to your feet. “Because I just got my heart broken tonight and I feel like maybe the least you can do is tell me who you like?” 
“Let me think,” Reo fake ponders for a few seconds and then shakes his head. “Nah, don’t think so.”
You kick him again, this time very softly. “You’re no fun,” you whine, but there’s something so sincere to it that Reo’s heart aches again. “Can you at least tell me when you fell in love?”
His laugh comes out weak and hoarse, feeling the sudden need to look away but he doesn’t. Reo stares straight into your eyes because he knows that no matter how hard he tries, you’ll never get it unless he spells it out for you. “I became aware of it when I was sitting next to them.”
You start laughing, as he expected, but it's lighthearted and innocent. Reo doesn't feel insulted—at least not yet. “It was love at first sight?”
He's definitely a tomato right now, he can feel it in his face. “More like first interaction...” Reo mumbles out, now facing the river.
“Well, whoever they are, they're lucky to have someone like you crushing over them.”
“Yeah, I guess they are lucky.”
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TAGLIST - OPEN
@celestair @kitorin @popponn @yoisami @anurst @katsukiiishoe @yuzurins @vitaniangel-blog @kunikame @miwafei @astruoise @faeroow @wooasecret @limerence-lu @jaynawayna
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