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star-girl69 · 4 months

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Your Girl

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

synopsis: late at night, you and clarisse get to know one another.

a/n: ykw i dont even know what i write anymore just enjoy it i truly just listen to the wind oh my god

Your Girl - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: im sorry im obsessed w the nightmare trope, friends to lovers MEYOW, HURT COMFORT, clarisse just wants to KISS, light tension, very light and fluffy tho…. not a lot of angst tbh, POSSESSIVE CLARISSE I SCREAMED, mutual pining YESSSSS, they’re in love but they don’t think the other could be in love w them, clarisse knows what she wants and sets out to get it, monsters- again it’s a drakon bc i’m evil, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of weapons, weed and smoking, substance abuse idk if it’s addiction my health teacher would be so disappointed, shotgunning weed, idk what’s happening honestly we’re all along for the ride, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

You don’t know where Clarisse gets it from, but she has good weed.

They’re these perfectly little rolled blunts, with some sort of amazing concoction inside- you can’t even be bothered to care that it’s bad for you. Not when it makes you feel so good, not when it makes everything else fade away.

So, that’s why you’re here now. Sitting in the woods, leaning against a rock covered in moss, staring up at the stars. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you’re just here next to each other. But tonight, you think you took one too many hits, so you’re feeling a little sentimental.

“I would fucking die without you, Clarisse.”

She snorts. “Yeah, probably.”

“No, no, not just like- because you’re so strong, and stuff, but because of this fucking weed. I can’t sleep without it, y’know.”

She hums.

“And, like, you need sleep to live, or else your brain will like eat itself, or something ridiculous. Did you know that?”

She looks at you, mouth curved into an unimpressed smile, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t, and I care so much. Thanks for telling me, leech.”

“That’s mean,” you huff.

“Then stop leeching off of me and stealing my weed.”

Clarisse always looks so pretty in the moonlight. You would never admit that to anyone, but in the dark when your head is all hazy- you know she’s pretty. She’s beautiful, if you’re being honest, but she’s also your dealer- you can’t risk upsetting her. But still, sometimes you’re not sure how she isn’t a daughter of Aphrodite.

But you know better than anyone else that she gets everything from Ares, like she’s a carbon copy of him.

She gets her precision, her strength, her tactical mind, her rolling storm of emotions from him.

Except, there’s a softness in her. Only here, in the moonlight. You don’t know if it’s you or the weed, but you like to think it’s you. You like to think that Clarisse likes you as much as you like her, not just tolerates you for your mediocre company.

She’s sitting with one foot planted onto the ground, hair pulled back all messy, her arm balancing on her knee. The joint is held out conveniently towards you, lazily in between her fingers, so you flip yourself onto your stomach and reach out with open lips.

She smiles and flips the joint around, placing it onto your lips. Your close your eyes and your mouth, breathing in deeply. Gods, does it taste horrible, but you love it too much.

You pull back and breathe out the smoke.

“You love me, and my weed-stealing tendencies.”

“Uh, yeah, okay,” she rolls her eyes.

—-

Clarisse probably trains more than any other demigod at camp. Thirty minutes after dinner, like clockwork, you can find her heading to the field where all the sparring dummies live.

Clarisse is probably your only true friend at camp. You stick to yourself for the most part, hang out with your siblings, but besides for that it’s Clarisse. And she’s the same way. She hangs out with her siblings, and then you. Of course- everyone at Camp knows her name and her ruthless reputation.

You’re unknown, she’s known. She’s the best fighter you’ve ever seen, you’re mediocre, compared to her. She helps you at every turn, you’re the one getting helped by her. She’s mean to everyone, and you’re kind to whoever happens upon you.

You force each other to bring out the other sides of yourself no one gets to see. Clarisse gets to be soft, you get to be loud and annoying. You’re friends, but you both get something out of it.

She’s your friend, your dealer, your savior.

If the first day you came to camp, running through the woods with a drakon hot on your heels and your mouth split open into a scream- maybe Clarisse and her siblings wouldn’t have turned around and noticed the drakon.

Of course, Clarisse was the one who actually killed it, and she was the one who hoisted you up from where you had collapsed, breathing heavily. She was the one who actually made sure you weren’t hurt while your satyr protector panicked about having to face the Cloven Council.

She was the one who found you in the middle of the night, that drakon hissing in your ear, she was the one who gave you the claw she had pried from it’s dead body, she was the one who told you it was dead and nothing could hurt you in Camp.

“Clarisse!” you call, running towards her. Most campers like to wind down after dinner, so the field is empty.

“Leech,” she says when you reach her, leaning her spear against a dummy and stretching her arms above her head.

You always come everyday. You ask her the same question.

“Do you have it?”

She digs under her armor, pulling out the small cloth containing the blunt. “You would probably go insane if I didn’t.”

You feel calmer just looking at it. You smile sheepishly up at her.

“You know I can’t sleep without it, Clarisse.”

She looks away, stuffing it back under her armor, against her stomach.

“Maybe you should try and skip one night.”

You scoff. “I don’t feel like pulling an all-nighter, Clarisse.”

She nods, but her face is riddled with concern. “Okay, angel,” she mutters, so low you can barely hear it. But you do. You hear her call you angel, and you turn away instead of slamming your lips into hers.

—-

After that first night, you slept with that claw tight into your hand. And it was fine. You still had the occasional nightmare, but every demigod had those. But the older you got, the more monsters you learned about, the more comfortable you got with being a demigod- the more the nightmares came. Knowing the drakon was dead didn’t help, and the nightmares got worse and worse until Clarisse found you again one night.

You had drifted apart from her. She had her life and you had hers, but ever since you’ve been bonded by the nights.

She wrapped her arms around you and let you cry, mumbling about how she was the strongest demigod at camp, and there was the barrier, and nothing would ever get through to you.

She was soft in that moment. And you could tell she regretted it, because she ignored you for the next few days until one of her siblings pushed you to the ground. She appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his shirt, yelling that if he ever touched you again, she’d fucking kill him.

While he sputtered and asked why she cared about some stupid weak girl, she helped you up and said: “She’s my girl.”

And since that day 3 months ago, you’ve always been her girl. Neither of you really knew what that meant, except you liked being around each other and you liked this transaction. Clarisse liked owning something. You liked belonging to someone.

That’s what this entire friendship is about- convenience.

So, that’s why Clarisse being concerned about you makes you feel weird. You care about Clarisse, she cares about you- but only enough that she doesn’t want to see you hurt by someone else. But who is she to stop you when you’re the one hurting yourself?

You arrive at the rock in the forest, fingers twisting together. Clarisse is already there, lighter and blunt set out on the ground, polishing her spear.

“Hey,” she says, looking down.

“Hi.”

You sit down, eager to get your hands on the weed and forget about the way Clarisse’s concern confuses you.

You stare at your shaking hand.

Gods, are you really that nervous?

Clarisse’s eyes are sharp, she notices everything, she processes it much faster than you can ever dream to. It’s why she’s so quick in battle. She’s a well oiled machine and you’re the one job she’s assigned to do- she knows you by heart after all these nights.

Her spear is pushed off her lap. “Why are you shaking?” she says, voice low and raspy, her hand cupping yours.

“Low blood sugar,” you lie. “I’ll grab a snack before I go to bed.”

She says nothing, but you watch her hesitate as she grabs the blunt and the lighter from the ground, you watch her hesitate again as she goes to light it. But she lights it, she sticks it in between her fingers and holds it out to you.

“C’mere,” she mutters, and you lean forward and let her place the blunt on your parted lips. You breathe in, only for a few seconds, and you could go for a lot longer.

“I wasn’t done,” you huff as she takes her own drag.

“My weed,” she shrugs. “I decide how much you get.”

“You’re a bitch.”

She laughs. She laughs and it makes your stomach twist in such a good way you can’t feel like this anymore, you can’t remember what she does to you, what she called you.

You reach out blindly for the blunt, biting your lip as you practically climb on top of her.

“Clarisse!” you yell, but she seems to find your desperation hilarious, holding the blunt out as far as she can. “I fucking hate you, oh my Gods.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” she says, pushing you off of her. You realize you’re laying on your stomach in between her legs, one hand planted to the ground around her leg, the other reaching out.

She leans back and takes another drag. You roll your eyes and move to attack her, but she’s too fast, sitting up and holding your hand down, her other hand grabbing your chin. She breathes out the smoke right into your lips that are parted in shock, smiling as you stare right into her amused eyes.

She leans back while you sit there stupidly on top of her, blowing out the smoke. “That- that’s- I hate you, did I mention that?”

“You did,” she muses. “But we both know you’re lying.”

You look at her, at her wide smile, at the look in her eyes. You want nothing more than to be her girl- her girl in the way that she’ll kiss your head, tell you about all the things you’ll never do, she’ll lay down with you in a bed of soft pillows. Her girl in the way the reason she’s soft in the moonlight isn’t the weed, it’s because of you. Her girl in the way you can run to her, the way you do now, but with the added connotation of love.

You grab the joint, and she lets you, watching intently as you breathe in and blow out the smoke. She has no right to be worried over you. Not when you’re the one making the choice to waste away your youth. And especially when you’re not her girl- not in the way you want to be.

—-

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” she hums.

You sit back against the rock. Normally, you would have been here 20 minutes ago.

You didn’t catch her after dinner, and you stayed firmly in your bed until it all got to be too much. You’re terrified of sleeping, of the nightmares that will come- but for some reason, the weed just puts you at such ease that you don’t have any nightmares.

You didn’t want to be near Clarisse tonight. Not after yesterday, not after the way she’s been making you feel, and the fact that you know she could never really like you. Why would she? You are the stupid weak girl who gets pushed over. You run from drakon’s and can’t even sleep because of nightmares.

Clarisse is fiercely protective of those she loves, but you’re too much work.

You wanted to go one night. One night without the weed, and prove to her and yourself that you don’t need it. You’re not that weak.

But you couldn’t.

You sit down, she looks at your tense shoulders and doesn’t tease you, just hands you the blunt. You mumble something of a thank you, looking up at the stars, shoulders relaxing after a few more breaths.

“I, uh, I tried to skip. Tonight, I mean. I tried not to come.” It’s embarrassing to admit this. You’re so scared of the nightmares that even if it’s a placebo effect, you come back to this clearing every night.

“But you couldn’t?” she asks.

“I couldn’t,” you affirm, staring at the ground.

“Well, you can’t just go cold turkey, dummy. You have to wean yourself off of it. Do you not remember, like, any of those nicotine patch ads?” she laughs. “You’ve got a good memory, you remember.”

“Shut up, meanie,” you mumble, raising the joint to your lips. She stops you.

“Ah-ah. Starts now. Make it a good one, ‘cause that’s your last, baby.”

“Fine,” you mumble, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. You breathe in for a long time, tempted to go a little longer, but Clarisse reaches over and pinches your cheek. “Okay!” you yell, throwing the joint back to her.

She laughs and raises it to her own lips, taking in another long drag before putting it out.

You look at her, silent question in the air. She shrugs.

“Been meaning to slow down for a while, why not do it together?”

“Yeah,” you hum, looking back towards the stars. “Oh, hey, Ares is out tonight.” She looks over.

“Yeah,” she muses. “Fuckin’ Ares.”

“It’s still beautiful,” you say, stars in your eyes. “You have to think about it the way mortals do. They don’t know the Gods put them up there- they think it’s just some random spotting of stars, they think they made patterns out of it. Isn’t that beautiful? To make patterns and people out of stars? To look for humanity where there is none?”

“I never thought about it like that,” Clarisse says.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” you ask. You can feel her eyes on you.

“Yeah,” she affirms. “Beautiful.”

—-

The next two weeks goes by the same. You don’t catch Clarisse after dinner, but you come every night, you smoke a little less, she teases you and gets closer to you. She gets bolder and bolder and you get shyer and shyer.

You still feel like too much. If she just lets you prove this to her and to yourself, the maybe you can lean against the rock with her and flirt back.

—-

You meet Clarisse by the rock. She’s still standing, waiting for you. She takes the last of the blunt you’ve been using for the last few days and lights it, taking one small drag before she flips it around and holds it out to you.

“C’mon,” she guides. “Not too much, I’ll stop you.”

You feel kind of like a baby as Clarisse puts the joint on her lips, fingertips against your face to steady her hand. You breathe in for just a second, tempted for more, but she takes it away. You look up at her, fingers twisted together.

“Clarisse, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

She leaves the blunt to blow out in the wind in the natural dip of the rock, your own little ashtray at the top. Of course, Clarisse will come and collect it the next morning- you don’t want to upset the nymphs and satyrs in the forest.

“It’s a good idea,” she affirms. “Don’t worry, okay?”

You’re scared. You remember being chased by the drakon even now, you remember it’s snarls, you remember it’s claws moving through the air. You remember your heart pumping in your ears, you remember the stones in your stomach that were supposed to be fear.

You feel like Kronos, but what you swallowed wouldn’t just sit idly inside of you- no, your fear would rip through your stomach and your skin and burst out of you in an explosion of blood, like some sick joke of a firework.

She grabs your wrists. Clarisse is soft, here, in the moonlight.

“Hey, it’s okay. I-I was thinking, I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay, but why don’t you sleep in my cabin?”

You shift on your feet. “Clar, no, I can’t ask you to do that. What if we get caught? And I-I- it’s embarrassing, what if your siblings see? What if they tell everyone?”

Clarisse rolls her eyes and tugs you closer from where you had subconsciously started to drift away.

“They already think we’re dating, anyways. Besides, Y/N, no one cares. Most of my siblings have secrets anyways,” she smiles.

“Wh- we’re dating? They think- why?”

Her face is deadpan. “‘Cause you’re my girl.”

You pull back. “Clarisse.”

“What?” she says, slightly incredulous. “You are. You’re about the only person I can tolerate at this camp. I hope you know that. I know I can be horrible, but really, I… care about you a lot.”

You look in her eyes. There’s no lies, no insincerity.

“I know, Clarisse. And I… I appreciate it so much. You’re, like, my only friend,” you smile.

She smiles back but it’s tight. “Friend, yeah.”

You put your arms around her neck and hug her. It’s the first time you’ve ever really hugged her, and her arms wrap tight around your waist. Her mouth presses against your hair. You let yourself be her girl in this moment.

Clarisse is your best friend. She cares about you. Of course she helps you with this. She’s your best friend. Of course you let her.

—-

You do follow Clarisse back to the Ares cabin, back to her bed- and she points to one of her siblings you can’t see in the dark, but there are two figures in the bed. She smiles and you stifle a laugh.

You know better than anyone else that big bad Ares kids are like a marshmallow on the inside. They act all tough, and they are pretty tough, but there’s a soft spot inside of them only unlocked by one person with the right key.

You notice her sibling has their arm around the other person. You wonder if Clarisse will wrap her arm around you like that too.

Clarisse climbs into her bed, opening the covers for you. The beds at Camp are twin sized, but you can fit two people on them if you’re close together. You don’t hesitate, not anymore, not when you have one chance to pretend you’re really hers.

You lay on your side, facing her, hands tucked up by your chest. Her eyes meet yours, she brushes her curls out of her face.

“Good?” she asks. You nod, breathing out.

“‘M fine,” you say.

She rubs your arm, cold from the dark night. “Just relax, okay? Just close your eyes, Y/N.”

You do, you close your eyes, but you’re so fucking terrified you can’t.

“Clarisse,” you breathe, a plead. For what, you don’t know. You want a million things from her in this moment. It’s not fair of you to ask her, you know this, but it doesn’t stop you from asking.

Your breath comes fast, your nails dig into your palms, but you keep your eyes screwed shut like sleep will just magically hit you like a train.

“It’s okay,” Clarisse says, firm. “Why are you so scared?” she whispers.

“They’re so real,” you whisper, your voice breaking.

“They’re not.”

She wraps her arms around you so tight you feel like she’s crushing you. But it keeps you in the moment. If you focus on the way her skin feels against yours, on the way her thumb brushes your shoulder blade, her fingertips scratching the back of your scalp.

If you focus, if you imagine all the thing you and her will never do, if you imagine being her girl, then you can fall asleep.

You dream of her lips pressing against your head, her voice in your ear, calling you her angel.

—-

You wake up, Clarisse still wrapped around you, and slowly detangle yourself. Drool pools at the corner of her lips, and you have to bite back a giggle as you slip out of the blankets and into the warm riding sun.

She looks just as pretty in the sunlight as she does in the moonlight. You feel like a lover slipping out of a bed of secrets. But you’re not. You’re just a friend slipping out of a bed of rumors.

She looks so peaceful, you can’t help but wonder if she always sleeps like this- or if having you next to her had the same effect on her sleep as it did to yours.

—-

There’s a loud knock at your cabin door.

There’s only you and a few of your siblings in here, putting the final touches on their outfits for the day, grabbing the last items they need. One of your younger siblings open the door, and you look around the pillars- maybe it’s a counselor doing some sort of inspection? You take a glance around your bunk- but it’s all clean.

Your eyes meet hers.

“Out,” she says, roughly. She looks at you so intently you almost wonder if she’s talking to you. But when you siblings stand there in shock, she looks away. “Well? I said get out, dummies.”

They exchange looks with you, but eventually shuffle out, not wanting to risk Clarisse and her wrath.

She shuts the door behind your last sibling.

“Being tough has it perks, huh?” she smiles, leaning against the door. Your shirt isn’t even pulled on properly, one of your bra straps is already falling down your shoulder from the act of putting your shirt on, and you’re staring at her with your mouth wide open.

She looks you up and down.

“C-Clarisse, what-?”

She walks over to you, frown etched onto her face.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“Oh,” you say. “I… I thought you would have wanted me gone-”

“Don’t care. If you’re going to sleep with me then you need to wake me up and tell me you’re leaving.”

She rolls her eyes at your confusion. She sits on your bed and then gestures animatedly for you to sit down.

“Did you not sleep well?” she fusses. “What’s up with you this morning?”

“I slept great, Clarisse, it’s just- why are you here?”

“To tell you that you can’t leave,” she deadpans. “I mean, you spend all night shaking in my arms, terrified, and then I wake up and you’re not there? I almost killed someone. You’re lucky I decided to check here first, Y/N.”

She laughs. She laughs like it’s so funny.

“Why?” you ask.

“‘Cause you’re my girl,” she shrugs. “And-”

“Clarisse, what does that mean?”

You know what you want. And you’re not dumb, but you’re the only friend Clarisse really has- what did you have to compare it to? You’ve been thinking about it in your head, rolling it around like a diamond- each side reflects something you want from her. Her love, her protection, her touch, her time, her.

She plays with her fingers. “It means… I like touching you. I like protecting you. I like being near you. I like your voice and your face.”

She stares at you blankly, like she’s recounting a grocery list, waiting for an affirmative “yes, I heard you.” But all you can do is stare in shock, trying to make your brain catch up with your heart- Clarisse likes your face. Clarisse feels the same way you do. You can be her girl, and you’re not too much for her, you’re not just friends.

“Oh, fuck it,” she mumbles. She places her hand on your face and pecks your lips. “That’s what it means, okay? I’m, like, embarrassingly in love with you, if you haven’t noticed.”

Clarisse is so blunt and forward it makes your head spin.

She stares into your eyes, searching them for something other than shock and confusion.

“Okay,” she says. Shuffling back. You can tell she’s hurt and embarrassed, but her face reveals nothing other than faux confidence and indifference. “I’ll go, I guess-”

“Bitch,” you mumble, slamming your lips onto hers.

It feels so overwhelmingly right and fills you with such a calmness that weed could never compare to. If you were dependent on the joints, then one taste and you’re addicted to Clarisse. She kisses you back with just as much ferocity, throwing your arms around her neck, trying to swallow you whole with her mouth as she grabs your neck with one hand, your face with the other.

It’s months of tension and wanting, lips touching through the passing of a joint, all of it coming down to this moment that feels so bad, so sinful- surely the Gods must frown upon loving someone this much. You would never pray to any of them again if it meant Clarisse would keep kissing you like this.

When she finally pulls back, you’re both smiling wide, leaning into her palm, hands playing with the curls at the base of her neck. You feel like a giddy school girl. You feel like a lover discovering something wildly new and unknown, promising to keep it secret, sealing it with a kiss of pure fire.

“That was such a mean way to confess to someone,” you say. “Just bitchy. Brass and blunt- harsh, even.”

“Shut up,” she mumbles, pressing her face against yours.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I know you’re a big softie who drools in her sleep.” She pulls away and glares at you.

“I don’t fucking drool, Y/N. You’re seeing things.”

You fake frown, bringing her closer to you. “Such a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.”

“My girlfriend?” she breathes, swollen lips parting like she’s aching to kiss you again.

“Your girlfriend,” you affirm, staring straight into her eyes.

You sunk more into becoming a demigod and all it got you was nightmares and a fear of sleeping. But the more you sunk into being her girl, the more you sunk into loving her and being loved.

You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from. Certainly not from her father. She didn’t learn to kiss your head from him. She didn’t learn how to hold you, how to call you hers, how to whisper in your ear from Ares.

You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from, but it’s good.

—-

SHOUTOUT TO clarisse “cause you’re my girl” la rue LOVE YOUR POSSESSIVE ASS!!!!!!!!

—-

clarisse when y/n smokes weed: oh so pretty……

clarisse when y/n can only fall asleep bc of her arms or her weed: my girl fr……..

clarisse when y/n: oh my wonderful perfect angel

—-

y/n: BITCH

clarisse: YOURE SO HOT FUCK

—-

where did clarisse get her weed from you may ask? me that’s where she got it from i ripped through the fabric of reality to give it to her to make this happen actually and you’re welcome

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish

@sincerely-silk

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

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ratsonastick · 4 months

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Aggressive Love

Clarisse La Rue x fem!reader

Clarisse has never been very good at showing her affection to her crushes, so when one day she crosses the line she starts to realize she needs to confess to a couple of things.

Warnings: None, boring plot

A/N - TAKING CHARACTER X READER REQUESTS!!!

Not long after you arrive at camp you meet the Ares girl. Clarisse La Rue was not ashamed to make her name known, but the way she did it did not sit well with you.

Luke was walking you around showing you the ropes and trying to find your special thing, when she walked by.

“Seems like you got yourself a new girl” Clarisse spoke with her arms crossed, stepping in front of the two of you with her siblings by her side.

“Be nice she’s new” Luke spoke up and the girl rolled her eyes.

For someone big on first introductions, Clarisse was not cutting it for you. Her attitude made you scrunch up your face in annoyance and that did not go unnoticed by anyone.

Clarisse simply looked you up and down before walking away “She is not someone you want to get in a fight with” Luke spoke pushing you along.

As the week passed you found yourself getting along alright. The Hermes cabin fits you well, even though it technically isn’t your cabin. And everyone seemed to like you.

Except for Clarisse.

Multiple people asked her why she hated you, and truthfully she didn’t even know why. You never even talked to her, but that face you gave her said it all (or at least that is what she kept telling herself)

You are quiet, often found walking around, practicing archery, or helping your friends. You were not disrupting people’s peace, or getting into fights and starting arguments, like her.

She told herself that the reason she didn’t like you was because of how you two are the complete opposites, and that she had a feeling being together would only end badly.

So to make herself feel even better, she started getting into small arguments with you, just to prove to others and herself that she was right.

The first time she did it, it was at the lake. She saw you sitting there alone, no one else around, and took the opportunity to approach you.

She had a scowl on her face as she stood in front of you, blocking your view.

“Having fun?” She asked, which only made you raise your gaze and shrug your shoulders “Yeah I guess why?”

She scoffed, quickly thinking of a lie “Luke has been looking for you all over, he needed your help and you let him down. I was right about you.” She mumbled the last part, shaking her head and looking off.

Hearing this, you became worried, not wanting to upset Luke anymore you got up and ran to find him.

When you did he looked at you with a confused look, and you only then found out it was all a lie.

The next couple of days, Clarisse would follow you around, throw things at you, and start small brawls which you would never really even participate in.

Then finally one day you had enough.

She had followed you into the woods, calling you names and once again bringing up the fact your godly parent hadn’t claimed you.

You finally stopped and looked at her “Why do you hate me?” You asked in a fed-up voice which caught her a bit off guard.

In any other argument you always sounded sarcastic, or like you were having fun with it. But this time she noticed that you genuinely seemed upset. Maybe it’s because she crossed a line, bringing up your godly parents.

“Answer me.” Your gentle voice got her attention once more and her mouth opened but quickly shut.

“I have done nothing to you and yet you hate me every day.” Clarisse furrowed her brows looking down at the ground.

A feeling of regret started in her stomach, and she watched as you walked off.

For the next week, she thought to herself, what she should do, or if she should even do anything.

Finally, she decided to go to Luke.

When she sat next to him and asked for his help, he let out a soft laugh, leaning back with his arms crossed. But then he noticed how serious she was, she didn't have a scowl on her face, or any sign of annoyance, just a straight expression.

“She hates me”

“Do you blame her?” Luke spoke, picking at his food and shoveling it in his mouth. Clarisse only frowned and looked as though she was about to leave. “If you aren't going to help me then I'm just gonna leave.”

“Sit down” he mumbled and she did.

“Why do you only now want to become her friend?” Luke asked with curiosity, his curly hair falling into his eyes and he stirred his peas around on his plate.

“I don't know,” Clarisse answered, her voice sounding softer than it usually does. “You like her don't you.” He spoke up as he turned his gaze to her. Clarisse seemed startled by what he was saying, maybe she did like her, and was just … afraid of what the others would say.

Luke didn't need an answer to know he was right. 2 years ago something just like this happened with her and a girl in the Hermes cabin, except Clarisse never did anything and the girl continued to think that she hated her.

“If I were you, I'd maybe start by apologizing to the girl and giving her something she likes,” Luke stated as he started to stand up from the table. “Like what?” Clarisse mumbled, her reaction time a bit slow, which was strange for the Ares girl.

“She told me she likes flowers, maybe go pick some.”

Clarisse hated flowers.

“Okay”

That night Clarisse got one of the Demeter kids to give her some flowers, and she marched over to your cabin.

She knew that each clear night you always sat outside, so seeing you sitting on the steps to your cabin was no surprise.

Except the boy next to you was.

She faltered for a moment, feeling even dorkier than before, her arms dropped to her side, the flowers slouching slightly.

But she kept going, “Scram” she shouted at the boy with a scowl on her face. The boy sighed stood up and mumbled “Night Y/n”

Clarisse took a moment to stare at you, how the moonlight made you so beautiful.

Then she locked in and stuck out the flowers for you. “Here” she spoke again with that same scowl on her face, you nervously reached up to grab the flowers and gave her a small smile “Thanks … but why”

Clarisse sat down next to you, at first your legs touched but she quickly moved over. “Because I've been a dick.” she sighed and looked over at you.

She memorized how pretty you looked in her head.

You let out a soft laugh and nodded your head “That's true … I’m surprised you are owning up to it.”

“Don't get used to it” she chuckled, which made you turn to look at her.

“A little birdie helped me realize something.” she spoke again after a moment of silence “Was it Luke?” you asked and she nodded her head “How do you know?”

“Because if anyone else tried to help you realize something they'd end up in the infirmary and everyone in camp would know,” you responded with a smile.

Clarisse nodded her head, gently biting onto her lip trying to suppress her smile. “Yeah I guess you’re right about that.” her head dipped down slightly as she looked at her hands.

“Luke helped me realize how much of an idiot I was.”

You smiled as you looked up from the flowers you had been trawling around in your hands. You hummed slightly and nodded your head in agreement to which she rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.

“I like you.” she mumbled finally, “Do you?” she hummed in response, and for a moment you swear you could see a faint blush on her face. “I've been told I'm an aggressive lover, I guess to some people it might be hard to know it’s affection I'm trying to show and not …”

“Hatred? Yeah, it would've probably been best to clarify that before throwing toilet paper at me.” You laughed softly which caused her to show more of a blush.

After a few seconds you nudged her shoulder “You’re lucky you're so pretty … or maybe I wouldn’t forgive you.”

She looked up at you with a small smile, your legs were touching slightly, but the two of you did not seem to care.

A piece of her hair fell in front of her face, and you were quick to brush it away.

If it was anyone else touching her, Clarisse was sure they'd already be dead, not only that she was sure that her father was probably groaning at how sappy they were behaving, but she couldn't care at the moment.

You kept your gaze connected with hers, and it didn't take long for Clarisse to act on her desires and kiss you softly.

A/N - y'all I don't know what I just wrote, and I know I didn't represent our girl right!!

#percy jackon and the olympians #clarisse la rue #x reader #luke castellan #percy jackson #wlw #wlw post

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emeraldspiral · 9 months

Text

I feel like we don't talk enough about how Gaz is also a victim of Membrane's neglect and how that affects her sibling rivalry with Dib.

Like, I think because Dib is the deuteragonist of the show and Gaz is a supporting character it's easier to focus on analyzing him and everything going on in his life that influences his maladjusted behavior. But not a lot of people talk as much about why Gaz is the way she is. Why are her main emotions apathy and anger? Why is she the only other kid at skool besides Dib and Zim with no friends to hang out with at lunch or recess? Why are her revenges against Dib over things like cereal and pizza so over-the-top? Why does she purposefully try to destroy all human life and then get mad when it doesn't work?

Some of Gaz's behaviors have a pretty clear-cut cause and effect. She and Dib don't get to spend much time with their dad, so she gets upset when Dib's actions threaten their time together. Dib is also selfish and inconsiderate of Gaz, frequently stealing her food or talking her ear off about stuff she doesn't care about and expecting her to take an interest while never asking about her hobbies.

But I think some of her hostility toward Dib and general sour attitude can also be explained by Membrane's unequal treatment.

I've seen elsewhere that some people think Membrane favors Gaz because she's his "normal" child. He actually respects her gaming hobby and doesn't treat it like a phase she needs to grow out of. He doesn't talk down to her or try to push her into giving up something she loves in order to win his approval. Where Dib is constantly arguing with his dad about the legitimacy of his version of science, he and Gaz seem to have an easy rapport free of that kind of tension.

But is Membrane's behavior toward Gaz really a sign of favoritism, or just a different form of neglect?

The main conflict between Dib and Membrane stems from Membrane wanting Dib to be his successor. In Chickenfoot he specifically calls Dib "the future of the Membrane Empire", against Dib's wishes. In Mopiness of Doom, he and Dib finally bond when Dib decides to temporarily give up paranormal science and assist him with "real science". And supposedly, part of Eric Trueheart's clone Dib concept was that Membrane engineered Dib specifically to carry on his legacy.

But all of this begs the question, where does Gaz fit into Membrane's grand designs? Is she just the spare? She's just as smart, if not smarter than Dib, but we never see any indication that Membrane's trying to push her toward a career in science the way he is with Dib. It's one thing for him to not be bothered about her gaming hobby because it's not "disreputable", but there's no indication that Gaz has anymore interest in becoming a "real" scientist than Dib. So does Membrane just assume that since she's never shown any other ambitions she'll just fall straight down the path that's already been laid out for her, or does he just not care what she does with her life because he's only focused on living vicariously through Dib?

We don't know exactly how Membrane views his kids, but it's easy to see how a little girl might come to some pretty negative conclusions about what her status is in her father's eyes. Even if it's not true, Gaz might very well believe that he favors Dib. That despite Dib rejecting the legacy she was never considered for, despite him constantly getting into trouble and being weird and annoying and embarrassing, and putting his stupid hobbies ahead of their family, their dad doesn't give up on him as a lost cause. Even when he has another perfectly good child who mostly behaves herself and stays out of trouble, would never try to upstage him or ruin an important moment for him, who appreciates what little time they have together and would never jeopardize it by running off to play with some stupid alien, and who's just as smart and capable and not a weirdo paranormal-obsessed freak, Membrane still wants Dib to be his successor and not her.

Not only does this add more layers to her contempt for Dib, it could also explain her apathy and misanthropy. If her dad doesn't care about her, why should she care about anything? If he isn't concerned with her future, why should she concern herself with anything other than the immediate gratification of video games and pizza? Her dad and her brother both think their work is so much more important than spending quality time with her or talking about anything other than their "important work" whenever they're together. They both think they're saving the world, but they're either too blindly optimistic or too egotistical to realize that the slack-jawed idiots populating the planet are beyond salvation. But maybe if there was no humanity left for them to save, no heroic ambitions to fulfill, they'd finally treat her like someone worth paying attention too.

#invader zim #gaz #gaz membrane #professor membrane #dib #dib membrane #gaz is just as messed up as dib #her trauma just expresses itself in different ways

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bambikisss · 8 months

Text

OHMAMI : K.HongJoong

🛵 : (mentioned)motorcyclist!HongJoong, badboy!HongJoong

📙 : After getting into a harsh argument with your boyfriend, things seem to get worse when the car breaks down, leaving you both stranded in the rain. So, not being to take it anymore, you call HongJoong to pick you and just drop you off at home. However, it seems he has other plans with you, tonight.

⚠ : mentions of vaping, slight cheating (if you don't take talking about breaking up as breaking up), unprotected sex

🎶 : OHMAMI - Chase Atlantic, Rude Boy - Rihanna, Deja Vu - Beyonce, Inception - ATEEZ

💕: Unprotected sex, vaping during sex (HJ does it once), complete bad boy HJ, passionate to rough, oral (m+f receiving), use of handcuffs, multiple orgsam (reader), taking a video/picture, biting, fingering

->Bambi's notes : I actually love this one so much, plus I love oreo HJ a lot lol. This may be one of my favorites.

(B/N = Boyfriend's name, HJ is just a shorter version of HongJoong.)

COMMENTS + REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED | ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

You always thought relationships should be easy. No, they should be. So why were you yelling at your boyfriend of 2 years in his old ass car on the side of the highway during a goddam rainstorm, when you should be home in bed?

"No, don't put this on me, B/N! All I asked you to do was block her number and you can't even do that! I asked you to do this almost two months ago and you're still texting her?!"

Oh, that's why- your boyfriend refused to cut off his previous fling. When you both started dating, you met her under the lie that she was his sister. You found that weird because, for the year you had known him before you both had begun dating, he had never mentioned any other siblings, nor did his parents. So imagine your surprise when you hear his phone buzzing in the middle of the night to see a text from her saying "I know we agreed to stop sleeping with each other, but I need you, tonight. The toys don't feel as good as you."

Now, when you first read it, you were in shock as Sweet Home Alabama blasted in your head. But, then you became rightfully upset. You thought about it all night until the next day, bringing it up with him during breakfast. And when you saw the color absolutely drain from his face, you knew he had some explaining to do. That's when he told you the truth: she was his friend and ex-fling. He had agreed to break it off when you and him began dating, but she seemed to think otherwise. You could remember how hard you gripped the spatula at his words, not being able to understand why he had not only lied to you, making you believe that she was your sister, but that she still thought it was alright to text you something like that.

After a few weeks of him apologizing, you told him that the only way you would get closure was for him to block her number. You thought that since she didn't respect his wishes to end it, then she wasn't a friend he should keep around. He agreed to do that for you.

No, he promised.

So when you saw her at the party you and your boyfriend were attending together, and noticed the way she seemed to look at him, you knew something was up. Your feeling then got worse when you noticed how often your boyfriend was on his phone and how much effort he put into keeping it from your view. Your feeling was then confirmed when you got in the car later and the bright message came onto the car's screen: I promise. Y/N won't know about us.

That now led to the argument you and your boyfriend were having on the side of a highway during heavy rain in his car. As your voices continued to rise, you knew that this conversation wouldn't be going anywhere. You needed to go home and just be away from him, and maybe drink some of your favorite wine. "You know what, B/N? Whatever. No, seriously whatever. Take me home." Your voice was almost deadpan and broken due to all the yelling that had just been happening. Your boyfriend sighed, flicking his wrist to turn the car in the ignition as he tried to turn the car on, mumbling his own "whatever." However, the car didn't turn on. He continued to try and turn it on, sighing when he noticed the E flashing on his dashboard.

You felt a spark of annoyance fill you once more as you realized that he didn't fucking put gas in the car like you had suggested he do for days. Sometimes, it felt like taking care of a child and talking to a wall. "Fuck. What are you going to do?" You didn't hide your annoyance in your voice as B/N rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone. Your eyes then instantly zoomed in on the name on the top of his messages. You then cursed when you noticed he was texting her to drop off some gas for the car, and then sending her his location. You felt your body heat up as you met his eyes. Out of all the people he knew, he chose her, the subject of the argument to come drop off gas?

"Really, her? You couldn't pick someone else?" You asked, crossing your arms as your boyfriend pinched his nose, mumbling a small "shut up, Y/N."

That was your last straw.

You took out your own phone, opening your own messages to click on your close friend, HongJoong. You'd be dammed if you saw his "sister", ex-fling, or whatever she actually was to him, and let her help you get home tonight. You'd find another way.

Your eyes zoomed in on the keyboard as you quickly typed out a quick SOS message and your location to HongJoong. Within a few moments, you were not only gifted with a read receipt but with a message saying "On my way." Good ole HongJoong- would drop anything to come help you.

"Who are you texting?" Your eyes narrow at your boyfriend, his question making you hot once more. You don't respond, choosing to scroll through social media till HongJoong got here. You hoped he would get here before the other woman got here.

Well, you seemed to be lucky tonight, because soon parked his black hellcat in front of your boyfriend's car, then texted you "here. come on, princess."

While you were gathering your things, your boyfriend narrowed his eyes at the car, looking at it through the rain before he realized who that car belonged to. You knew how your boyfriend felt about HongJoong, which also drove you to choose him to come pick you up. Your boyfriend and HJ didn't mix well- your boyfriend hated how HJ always seemed to have his arm wrapped around you, a smirk on his lips when he talked to you, or how he constantly used nicknames with you. HJ, on the other hand, thought your boyfriend was shady and annoying. You smirked as you grabbed your bag, only for your wrist to be grabbed by your boyfriend, his voice now tense as he spoke. "Really, him? You really couldn't wait for-"

"You told me to shut up. Take me leaving as me shutting up" you hissed, ripping your wrist from his grip as you made sure you had everything. Before you could open the car door, though, your boyfriend spoke one more time. "If you get in his car, we're breaking up."

Now, what kind of threat was that? You rolled your eyes before you opened the car door, allowing the rain to hit your body as you met your boyfriend's eyes for the last time that night. "Fine. We're done. Fuck you and have fun fucking your sister." And with that, you slammed the car door closed, making your way to HJ's warm car. When you sat down in the passenger seat, you were met with HJ wearing his signature black hoodie and ripped jeans. He had his half-blonde, half-black hair styled, rings over his fingers, and a fruit punch-flavored vape snug in one hand. When you met his eyes, you noticed his new eyebrow piercing that seemed to glint in the streetlights.

"So, do you want to tell me now or later why I'm picking you up on the side of the highway from your boyfriend's car?" He asked, smiling at you softly as picked up his vape, taking a deep breath of the flavored nicotine before rolling down his window, breathing out the smoke before returning his attention to you. You don't know how many times you had told him to stop vaping, but he always seemed to ignore your words, but respectfully- not vaping around you in closed areas, not pushing out the smoke in your direction, not taking you to the vape shop with him, etc. You always appreciated it, for some weird reason.

"No. Just take me home. It's a long story that I do not want to relive right now." HJ noticed the annoyance in your voice, chuckling before turning his car on, the expensive car revving to life before he simply said "whatever you say, princess"

~>~

"So, like I had told you a while ago, he was still talking to his "sister?" You rolled your eyes at the playful tone in HongJoong's voice as he drove, shaking his head as he approached a red light. When you had told him about the whole situation, you hoped he would comfort you first, then make fun of it. But, deep down, you knew better. "I thought I had made it pretty obvious that I didn't want him talking to her. Then he had the nerve to say that if I got in your car, then he would break up with me."

"Woah, Y/N. So it's over?" HongJoong turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow hopefully. You shook your head as you rested it against the window, watching as the remaining rain drops from the rain storm moved down his windshield. You knew it wasn't really over. He said that in the heat of the moment and you knew that this needed an actual conversation because you knew B/N. He always said something in an argument to leave you a sting of pain.

Your attention soon returned to the street signs as the car moved, your eyebrows furrowing as you realized that this isn't the way to your house, but to HongJoong's. When you mentioned it to him, he only chuckled before he said "Y/N, princess, come on. You really think I would let you go home where I know that you're going to down a bottle of wine by yourself and cry? Why would I, being the great friend that I am, let you do that? So, you're staying with me at my house. No exceptions." You tried to argue weakly with him, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to change his mind. You relaxed back in the seat, watching the familiar street signs move as he drove.

The car soon stopped in front of his garage, the lights on inside to show you that he instantly left when you sent him that text. That thought made you smile. "Hold on, princess." Before you could leave the car, you felt his hand wrap around your wrist, the same way your boyfriend's had, but only more gentle. You turned to meet his eyes as his fingers gently moved over the skin on your wrist, his eyes glimmering with something bad...almost naughty as he looked at you. "Even though I know you know this about me, just remember that I'm the type of man to take what someone says at face value...and since your little boyfriend, no ex, said that if you got in my car, it's over, and you got in my car..."

HongJoong let his words trail off as he lifted your wrist to his lips, pressing a small kiss to it before gently biting it with teeth, making you gasp softly. He smiled more against your wrist before he dropped your hand from his grasp, shooting you a wink before grabbing his vape and car keys, making his way inside. HongJoong had a thing for you for the longest time, it only growing when he saw you with B/N. He felt protective and almost territorial over you, not hesitating to wrap his arm over your shoulder or call you a variety of nicknames even though he knew you were taken. He knew that he could be a better man for you, no, that he was the better man for you. He just needed to see if you felt the same way.

You sat in shock in his car, noticing how slow he was putting his key into the door, as if he was waiting for you. You scrambled to grab your bag and phone before jogging up to join him at the front door, making him chuckle. "There you are, princess. I thought you were going to try and spend the whole night sleeping in my hellcat."

Your mind was still scrambled due to HongJoong's actions, not responding to his comment as you follow him into the house. You smiled at the familiar scent, along with the various motorcycle items on the kitchen counter, all polished. You smiled as you dragged one of your fingers along the helmet, smiling more at the reflection of you and HJ. "You know, you still haven't taken me on a ride on your prized motorcycle. You promised me for my birthday last year that you would" You laugh softly as he rolls his eyes, approaching you with his own smile as he moves to press his chest against yours, making you back up against the counter and helmet. "I rushed to go pick you up from your goddam boyfriend and this is how you treat me, Y/N? I'm offended" You bite your lip softly as one of his hands moved to your lower back, right above your ass as he whispers "plus, you can ride something else, tonight."

You didn't know where HongJoong suddenly obtained the confidence to say such things and touch you like this, but it made you almost dizzy. You had never felt that way for your boyfriend when he did this stuff to you, but HongJoong seemed to have your mind already fuzzy, all from a flirty joke and his touch alone. "Tell me, Y/N, have you ever thought about me when you're with B/N? Do you ever wish you were in my car or in my house when you were with him?" HongJoong raised an eyebrow as he spoke, his hand moving slowly up the small of your back as his fingers poke the under the your shirt, making you sigh. "Do you ever wish it was me touching you like that? Don't you wish you were in my bed, my lips all over you, making you feel so much better than your fucking ex?" You didn't have a response, but he knew. He had seen how your eyes linger on his lips when they're wrapped around his vape, how you get when he wraps his arm over your shoulder, how you seem to call him first when something happens so he can comfort you. You have female friends who could comfort you, but you always seem to want him first.

Your mind was dizzy, trying to remind you about B/N, but you couldn't. HJ had you in a trance...and he wasn't wrong.

You met him in a hungry kiss, running your hands through his hair as his hands move under your shirt, working on removing your bra. You gasped softly into the kiss as he skillfully removed your bra, pulling it from under your top before he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. The kiss seemed to become hotter as he began to walk you both to his bedroom, his groans coming through the kiss as you ground against him. Your eagerness only made him more horny, kicking open his bedroom door before he pressed you against the first wall he saw, your back now against one of his posters as he continued to kiss you, his tongue pushing into your mouth as his fingers push up your top.

"Fuck, Joong," You gasped as your breasts became exposed to the cold bedroom air, the nipples hardening as HongJoong tossed away the fabric. He smirked softly, glad that you're already saying his name. But, he has things to attend to.

Your eyes close as his lips wrap around one of your nipples, the other one getting pinched and rolled by one of his hands. Your legs seem to tighten around his waist, arching your back as his teeth seem to graze over your nipple before he switches, giving the other one the same treatment as he says "wouldn't want this other one to be jealous." You didn't care, running your hands through his hair as he slowly kissed down your breasts, licking along your stomach as he got onto his knees. You never thought you'd see him on his knees, but it did something for you. He roughly pulled down your pants, tossing them away haphazardly before he gripped your legs, placing them onto his shoulders as he looked up at you with hooded eyes.

"You know, I've always wondered if you have pretty panties. Based on all the bathing suits you've worn, it always made me hard to think that you had pretty little panties that could get ruined by your naughty pussy" You didn't have a chance to respond to his words as he pushed your underwear to the side, licking a long strip up your pussy slowly before going back to dive his tongue into you. Your back once again arched against the wall as he played with your folds, taking his time tasting and licking every crevice of you. You hummed against his face, rolling your hips against his face as he sped up.

"Good girl, baby." HongJoong gently pulls back from your pussy, spitting back into it before he sped up his movements, his mind filled with only thoughts of pleasing you, getting you off on his tongue right against his wall. You can't help but moan louder as he speeds up, one of his hands moving up your body to grip your neck as he moans loudly into your pussy, the vibrations pushing you closer to your orgsam. HongJoong smiles as he notices how much louder you've gotten, his tongue now curling and speeding up as he fucks you with his tongue. His eyes never left yours as he squeezed around your neck, his own moan getting louder as your eyes begin to roll back. "Come on baby. Cum for me." He lowly praised you as you came, his tongue only slowing down when you began to whine.

As you slowly come down from your high, you feel HongJoong move you from the wall to the bed, roughly dropping you onto the bed before he begins to strip himself. You turned your head to see him standing in front of you, completely naked with his hand wrapped around his thick cock, moving along his length slowly as he watched you. You could feel your mouth and body regain all of your energy as you watched him, a small moan leaving your lips as his thumb moved along his tip, gathering his precum before chuckling. You sat up on your knees as he moved to sit on the bed in front of you, his free hand gripping your jaw to make sure you met his eyes.

HongJoong had many fantasizes about you, but seeing you right now on your knees in front of him in his bedroom did something to him. He felt like he could cum right at the sight, but he wanted to wait.

His eyes continued to meet yours as his precum covered thumb moved to your lips, watching as you slowly opened your mouth to wrap around it, your tongue moving to meet it as you licked and sucked it clean. He couldn't help but smirk, his eyes darkening once more as his cock twitched.

"I knew it, Y/N. You're absolutely filthy." He chuckled, humming as he moved his thumb around your mouth before pulling it from your lips, smirking at the string of saliva you left connecting to his thumb. You nodded at his words, willing to agree to whatever he said in that moment. HongJoong chuckled at your nod, laying down on the bed with his head against your knees. You looked at him with confusion across your face as he grabbed his vape, your hands running through his hair as he slowly blows out the flavored air. At the feeling of your hands in his hair along with the rush from the vape, he couldn't help but close his eyes. It felt nice, despite the fact that you both were naked and horny still, this moment was something he had always wanted with you. But, his twitching dick needed to be attended to.

"Sit on my face."

The moment was quickly shattered at his words, your eyes widening as your hands stilled in his hair. He slowly opened his eyes to see your reaction, your wide eyes making him laugh. "Come on, Y/N, don't be so shocked. Who wouldn't want you to sit on their face?" You could feel your cheeks heat up, smacking his shoulder as he laughed more. His blunt words had you stunned, but the idea did make you wet once more.

"I've never done it before, though" You had wanted to with B/N, but the opportunity never came up as well sex with him was...bland. HongJoong hummed as he kissed your knee and thighs, shrugging before he looked up at you once more. "And? Who better to do it with than with me?" You gasped as he gripped your knees, spreading them open before his hands moved up your sides, pulling you closer to his body to almost crawl over him. You let him move you, placing your hands on the bed as they sat on either side of his legs. You couldn't help but notice his thick cock once more leaking precum as his hands move up your thighs and ass, gripping your flesh as he hummed. He spread you open before his hands gripped your hips, pulling you back so you could sit on his open mouth. At first, you tried to not fully sit down as you were scared of crushing him, but that only made him groan loudly in annoyance, his teeth meeting the inside of your thigh before roughly pulled you down onto his mouth.

Your head immediately fell back as his tongue eagerly moved around your pussy, his moans now louder. In this position, his tongue could go deeper into you, but he could also feel and grip your ass.

"Fuck, you taste so good. I knew someone as hot as you would have such a naughty pussy, Y/N." HongJoong gripped your hips more as his lips wrapped around your clit, chuckling when he felt your thighs shake. You felt like you couldn't sit up straight anymore, leaning forward so your hands were once again against the bed, your hips still making sure to press down again his mouth. Your moans got louder the deeper his tongue moved in you, his rings adding to the experience as he gripped your ass, spreading you open just the way he wanted. Your head soon turned to see his cock still leaking, you mouth watering once more as you thought of his taste you had on his thumb.

HJ felt you move, raising an eyebrow. "Y/N, why are you- oh my fucking god, baby"

His head fell back as you took him into your mouth, his mouth open as you licked along his length. He was going to ask you later on if you wanted to suck him off, but having you now in this position was just as good, if not better. He chuckled breathlessly as you shook your ass, reminding him of what he should be doing. He licked his lips before his focus returned, one of his hands coming down to smack your ass, moaning deeply with you as you moan around his cock, one of his fingers moving along your pussy before pushing into you. He tossed his head back again as you moaned louder around him, not hesitating to begin to fuck you with his finger while his other hand slowly moved up your back to your head, pushing you down around his cock before he began to fuck up into your throat, chuckling whenever you choked or gurgled around his cock.

"Don't act like you can't take this cock, Y/N. We both know you're a naughty girl," he tsked, his hand moving from your hair back to your ass as he gripped it, moving it so he could watch his finger enter and disappear in you only to reappear covered in your wet juices. You moaned loudly at his words, pressing your nose down against him as you held him in your throat for a few seconds, making him moan before smacking your ass again, a small "good girl" leaving his lips in praise before he added another finger into you, curling it.

You felt your second orgsam approach as he moved his fingers faster, his hand moving to grip your hair as he tugged you off his cock, wanting to hear you moan his name louder as his fingers plunged into you at a rough pace. With him repeatedly hitting your spot and with how hard he was gripping your hair, you knew your orgsam was going to hit fast and hard, just like how you both wanted.

"Joong, I'm so close, don't stop" you moaned, your own body moving back and forth to meet his fingers' movements, making him not only moan, but move even faster. He placed a small kiss and bite to your thigh as it began to shake, curling his fingers once more as you began to shake around them. He praised you as you came, his hand moving from your hair to smack your ass gently, moving his body so you could lay down against the bed. He licked his fingers as he watched you shake gently against the bed, feeling like you could fall asleep right there. But, the feeling of sleep went away when you felt his hands move up your body to your shoulders, the tip of his cock now pressing against your entrance.

"Don't fall asleep on my now, Y/N. I still haven't came yet, nor have you got to wet my cock." You gripped the sheets as you tried to sit up to try and explain that you couldn't move your legs, but he seemed to beat you to it. You rested your head against the bed as he stood up from the bed, walking out of the room. You rested against the bed as you tried to wonder what he was doing especially after what he had said. You had never came twice from someone, especially that hard and without them even using their cock. A part of you couldn't help but be excited at the idea of him fucking you though, especially with how thick it felt in your throat.

HJ soon returned to your sight, his naked body leaning against the doorway as he looked at you. You couldn't see his hands, but you noticed how his eyes slowly moved over your body, admiring it once more as his cock twitched again. He wanted to see it once more before he ruined you, knowing that when he was done having you cum all over his cock, you both were going to be too exhausted to do anything else.

"Tell me, baby, did B/N ever... experiment with you?" You raised an eyebrow at his words, shaking your head at his words. "No, it was always pretty vanilla, why?"

"Well, that's such a shame, isn't it? He should always be looking for new ways to pleasure you, make you scream his name, to make you cum the hardest, right?" You nodded at his words, making him smile. His smile looked mischievous and evil, his tongue coming out to lick along his bottom lip before he fully pushed open the bedroom door, showing a small grey digital camera in one hand and a pair of handcuffs in the other. He slowly approached the bed, his fingers playing with the handcuffs as his eyes locked in one yours. His eyes were dark- like you were being hunted.

"I wouldn't want you to forget about our night together, Y/N. I want you to hold any other man who you sleep with to my standards, princess." He tossed the items onto the bed before he gripped your jaw, pulling you close to him, his lips hovering right over yours. You couldn't help but lean in close to try and kiss him, but he quickly pulled back, chuckling at your pout before he shook his head. "No, no, baby. Let me set you up first, then we can maybe kiss"

"Well then, hurry up" HJ chuckled at your eagerness, despite just not being able to move a few minutes ago. But, nonetheless, he was here to please you.

He moved you so your hands were against the headboard, spreading your legs before he handcuffed your wrists together, then handcuffed them to the headboard. You looked down at your knees that sat pressed into his pillows before he pulled them back a bit, pressing his hand down against your lower back so you'd arch it. When he was satisfied with your position, he then reached down to grab the camera before leaning in to press his chest against your back, the tip of his cock against your pussy once more. He faced the camera towards you both, his lips moving to your ear as he whispered "a little before picture." He pressed a quick kiss to your ear before he clicked a button, the camera taking a picture of the two of you before he tossed it haphazardly onto the bed, his hands moving to grip your hips before he slowly pushed into you.

Your moans mixed in together as his cock stretched you out, your nails digging into the headboard as he his fingers dug into your hips. He slowly kissed up the back of your neck before biting down on your shoulder as his cock fully stretched you. He hummed at the feeling of your warm and wet walls around his cock, feeling you pulse around him before he slowly pulled back out, leaving just his tip in you before he grunted into your ear lowly "be loud, baby. Don't hold back."

Your nails dug more into the headboard as he roughly pushed back into your, his hips now snapping against your ass as you moaned loudly. Your jaw became slack as he fucked you, his loud moans mixing with yours as he smacked your ass. Your eyes had closed at the feeling, his hips beginning to slow down for a moment as he rolled his hips to meet your ass, moving deeper in you. Then, you heard it.

Click.

You bit your lip at the sound of the camera going off, turning your head back to see HJ holding the camera, taking a picture of your ass against his hips, your arched back, and now-

"Keep looking back here at me, baby" he too a picture of your face as he picked back up the pace, snapping a few of your reactions to his cock diving in you before he dropped the camera once more in favor of gripping your hips. You felt your body heat up once more, panting that you were about to cum again. HongJoong only chuckled deeply before he whispered in your ear "I don't fucking care, cum again for me baby. Come on, cream on my cock, I'm still going to fuck you till I fill you up with my cum"

You moaned loudly at his words, clamping down around him before you came, your body shivering at the feeling as he moaned. The cum ring began to form around his cock, making him have to rip his eyes from his cock before he gripped your breasts, pulling your body. You bit your lip as your back was now fully arched, your wrists still against the headboard while your legs were now against the bed, HJ now straddling them before as he panted, his hair now pressed against his sweat covered forehead.

"Now, I can fuck you deeper baby and push my cum nice and deep, just like you deserve" he smirked before he began to move his hips again, biting his lips as he listened to you moaning his name louder as his cock drilled into you, the new position allowing him to go as deep as he wanted. He leaned down to bite your shoulder, licking the area before his hand moved around your stomach, chuckling as he felt his cock through you. "You're so fucking filthy, Y/N. Be honest, you wanted this- you wanted me to come pick you up, take you my house, handcuff you to my bed, and fuck this naughty pussy just like this, didn't you?"

"Yes! Yes, I wanted you to" you moaned loudly, your mind now a mess as he moves even faster, chuckling against your neck before he grunts, roughly pushing all the way in you before he stops, making you whine. He gently shushes you before he leaned back to grab his phone, unlocking it before he pulls up his camera, setting it on the nightstand so it could see you and him both on the recording before he pressed start.

HongJoong was now panting, kissing your shoulder before he whispered in your ear "I'm about to fucking cum" you nodded, spreading your legs a bit more as he began to grind against your ass, his hands moving up your body to grip your breasts before he bit the shell of your ear, grunting deep in your ear "I'm going to fill you up, baby, but I want to hear you ask for it. Be loud enough so the camera can hear you baby. Be loud"

"Please give me your cum, HongJoong, give me all of it. Fill me up so much that it leaks out of my pussy, so then you have to fuck it back into me"

Your words cause HongJoong's brain to short circuit, his cock driving into you a rough yet pleasurable pace as he wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close to him he placed wet kisses against your shoulder, growling lowly that he was super close. That was your only warning before his hips pressed roughly and firmly against your ass, his dick twitching in your before his cum painted your walls, his moan echoing around the room as he panted against your shoulder. His eyes were shut for a bit before one of his hands moved over your handcuffed wrists, his hips once more moving in you, ignoring how the overstimulation felt for him, his other hand moving to play with your clit. You gasped, meeting his hips as you moved back, your ass slightly bouncing against them as you chased after your last orgsam. Your eyes began to flutter closed as you came, your body falling limp around his biceps.

"There we go, baby, I'll hold you together. I knew you could do make a mess all over my dick" You hummed at his words, feeling like you were beyond cloud nine. You both rested against one another for a bit before he slowly uncuffed you from the headboard, carefully laying you down on the bed. You felt like you were going to fall asleep, your eyes fighting to stay open as he slowly pulled out of you before going to grab a rag and clean you up. You breathed in his scent on his pillow, a small smile coming onto your face at the scent before jumping a bit at the feeling of the cloth.

"Don't move, princess. You body must be sore" he hummed, wiping all of his cum from your body before he rubbed your back, pressing a kiss down to the small of your back before he laid down behind you, gently spooning you. You smiled at his warm embrace, your eyes still fighting to stay open.

You were about to doze off when you felt his arms move, his hands grabbing his phone from the nightstand before he stopped the recording. He then saved it, checking the time before he turned off his phone. "What are you going to do with that recording, Joong?"

"Well, it depends on how you answer my question, baby," you looked back over your shoulder at him, his lips pressed against your shoulder as his hand rubbed your side. You couldn't help but admire him- the moonlight that came through his window made his eyebrow piercing glimmer, his eyes were now soft, and his oreo colored hair was now a mix due to your hands running through them. He didn't look like such a bad boy in this moment, just HongJoong.

He admired you too, smiling against your shoulder before he decided to bite the bullet. "So, is this a one off thing, or...are you going to break up with B/N and maybe see where things can go with us?"

You could see the nervousness develop in HJ's eyes- a look you've never seen, but one you that showed you he meant it, and that he was being vulnerable with you. You carefully turned in the bed to cup his cheeks, a small smile on your lips before you spoke. "You're the person who said you'd take what someone says at face value. He said that if I got in your car, than he was breaking up with me. Plus, I had told him to have fun fucking his "sister," too, so-"

"You said what?" HongJoong laughed, making you laugh as he held up his hand, high fiving you before he slowly intertwined your fingers, pressing a kiss to your hand and your wrist, pulling you close so your head was against his chest. You nodded, squeezing your hand with his before you continued. "So, I think things are over between me and B/N. And, I'd love to see where things go between you and me, Joong. But, you have to take me riding on your motorcycle like you promised"

HongJoong laughed at your words, pressing a small kiss to your forehead before he nodded. "Fine, tomorrow I'll take you out on the motorcycle, but that's only after a safety lesson. Then, we'll go out for dinner."

You agreed with his words, squeezing your hand with his once more before your eyes slowly closed, listening to his heartbeat as you both fell asleep in each other's embrace, listening to the rain outside.

#~bambi #ateez smut #ateez hongjoong #kim hongjoong #ateez hongjoong smut #hongjoong smut #ateez smau #ateez smut reactions #ateez x reader #ateez ff #ateez #ateez x reader smut #bambikisss #ateez hongjoong x reader

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ninaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa · 2 months

Text

I Miss You, I’m Sorry.

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 ! 𝗔𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘀𝗳

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: mentions of death/ loss, ilnesses, crying, fluff i guess?, angst.

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆:Charles has always seen you as his litte brother’s annoying best friend. What happens when you both grow up and he starts realizing things too late..

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿: the plot is of based off of Gracie Abrams’. song, I miss you, I’m sorry. It may be off but use your creativity. I don’t see the song as two exes missing each other in this story. I used it bc the lyrics are definitely relevant to multiple situations. Might be a multi chap, but i’ll try to keep it short for my own sanity.

enjoy!

———————

From the innocent age of three years old, Y/n and Arthur have been attached at the hip.

Literally.

When they started first grade, they were put in two different classes. Clearly very upset with it, they forced the eldest Leclerc sibling, Lorenzo, to super glue their pants together. They walked , or tripped, into the school grounds the next day, smiling proudly at each other and their questioning teachers.

Their mothers obviously thought it was adorable and played along. Thought the bond was beautiful and a gift. That said bond never died. The little things keeping it alive.

Like how Arthur would tell Y/n how smart she was every time she helped him with a math question.

Or how Y/n would always tell Arthur that he’d be a World Champion when he’d discovered that just like his older brother, took an intrest in racing.

Arthur would help Y/n tie her shoes and Y/n would fix Arthur’s hair before he went to talk to a girl.

Y/n would stay up late in a cold and busy garage waiting for Arthur to finish doing laps around the track, being proud of his result and effort, not actually caring where he ended up.

Arthur would sit with a crying Y/n, comforting her when her anxiety got the best of her. Her choice in men not helping, but he’d never blame or judge her for it.

Arthur was always there for Y/n to lean on and Y/n the same for Arthur.

And for a while their mothers schemed, waiting for the moment they got together.

That suspicion changed completely when the pair were four teen years old. It completely vanished that one day in April when Y/n’ s mother died. Sat in the hospital with tears in her blue eyes, Y/n takes in the news of her mother’s passing due to leukemia. Arthur, almost as broken as the girl next to him, took her in his arms as they both sobbed.

Pascal, although absolutely crushed, observed the two. No eye contact, no tight grip, just two people leaning on each other for support.

When the little girl’s name got called, she looked up with big eyes. Pascal watched as the brunette girl was taken into her other son’s arms. She payed attention to the way Y/n gripped onto Charles’ sweater and neck, or the way she looked up from her head’s position on his chest to look into his eyes.

And when they were walking back through the white hallways to the car, and Arthur said “You’ll always be my best friend Y/n, I might have a girlfriend, but i’ll never leave you.” Pascal got her confirmation that the two kids weren’t in love, well at least not with each other..

Arthur had his middle school girlfriend and Y/n had.. well, a crush on Charles. The middle Leclerc.

A big crush.

The crush blossomed, just like Arthur and Y/n’s friendship, from the small things.

The way Charles would only throw Y/n with a piece of food at the dinner table and nobody else. It was probably just him making fun of the one person who wouldn’t stand up for themself, but 10 year old Y/n obviously saw it as Charles’ way of showing his affection.

Years down the line she would still smile over the way Charles would hear Y/n crying to Arthur and then ask her if she needed anything the second she came into his view.

The way Y/n’s stomach would fill with butterflies as Charles smiled at her from the podium.

He would buy her, her favorite candy when they go on trips, knowing her blood sugar gets low quickly.

They would fight about the dumbest things, but then Y/n would try to flirt with him ten seconds later.

He would stay awake at night, waiting for Arthur and Y/n to come home after going to a party, his excuse always being that he was waiting to show Arthur something, that he didn’t know that the girl would be with him, but he knew. He always did.

Despite all of it, Charles wasn’t interested. Amused and slightly more egotistical? Yeah, sure. But teenage Charles definitely thought he was too old for the girl and in all honesty too cool.

As they got older and Y/n got more confident, she started to try connecting with Charles, never succeeding, as she got the same excuse every time. “I’m too old for you.”

And maybe he was, she was 16 and he was about to turn 19. His other excuse was that he was very busy with racing. Driving in Formula 2 and trying to get to Formula 1.

Despite it, Charles owned her heart through it all, he even broke it a few times.

—

It was a beautiful day in Monaco and Arthur had invited Y/n to join the Leclerc family on the ocean, sailing across the clear waters with their boat.

Arthur brought his new girlfriend, and Y/n thought they were perfect for each other, actually being the one to set them up.

Sitting at the very edge at the front of the boat, looking at the sun setting.

Pascal watched as her middle child left the steering wheel, calling Lorenzo from the deck to take over.

She watches with intent as he takes off his hoodie and walks to the girl she would call her own and sit next to her.

The woman could see Y/n scoff at his offer, but ultimately agree to taking the piece of clothing.

“How are you?” Y/n asks him, looking at the sunset.

“Good, finally signed the contract, now I just have to follow through with it.”

“Can’t believe you’re going to be in Formula 1 next year.” you almost scoff in disbelief at it all.

“You’ve made it, Charlie.”

He looks at her with that sentence, staring deeply into her eyes. The eyes he’s looked into so many times, each time they’re just as pretty.

He turns his head again, both of them sit in silence, their presence speaking for its self.

“You miss her?” Charles asks, breaking the silence with a question that caused a chill to grow up Y/n’s spine.

“Ever day.” She simply replied.

She turned her head slightly, to be met with Charles staring at her deeply.

Y/n laid her head on his shoulder, sighing out.

“I’m too old for you, you know and with my career taking off.. it’s never going to happen, Y/n.”

“Whatever you say, Charlie. We’ll see.”

“I’m being serious.” He takes a brief pause, stuttering like he’s trying to come up with an excuse after being caught doing something wrong. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Arthur would kill me.”

“Hm, he would, wouldn’t he?” Y/n smiles at the thought of her best friend.

Back to Formula one though..

When he got his seat with Alpha Romeo, the whole family was ecstatic. Everyone celebrating, despite finding out the tragic news that Hervé, the boys’ dad was once again ill.

A year later Charles joined Alpha Romeo, as a rookie for the 2017 season. Nearing the Baku Grand Prix, Y/n got woken up by banging on her bedroom door. Outside the door was a frantic looking Arthur, and by the tears welling up in his eyes, Y/n knew the inevitable had came. She comforted Arthur on the way to the hospital, her heart breaking for the boy. Once he calmed down and fell asleep on her shoulder, her dad driving, her head started racing. The only thing going through her mind being if Charles was okay.

When Charles heard the brunette girls’ choked up words to his mother he quickly turned around, once again in the hospital hallway, and immediately met her gaze.

“Charlie, I’m so sorry.” she said, her arms around his neck, his face buried into her hair. For some reason the second she was near he let it all out. All of the frustration, the sadness, the anger and the utter and deep rooted pain.

They went home, the girl joining. As everyone went to bed, Y/n insisted on falling asleep to the tv playing, as she didn’t like the silence filling up her mind. Leaving her space to think about Hervé or how Charles’ arm felt around her waist.

She tried to suppress her feelings day by day. But the second he looked at her with his beautiful eyes or smiled at her she crumbled and fell for her best friends brother all over again.

And just as she was about to fall asleep and stop thinking about him, he walks down the stairs, a suit case in his hand and a tired expression on his face. It could be because of the lack of sleep or the emotional drainage today has caused.

“You really going to get on a plane right now?” she question at his sanity. “Have to.” He replies bluntly. “At four in the morning?” Y/n question once again, a little softer, feeling sympathy for the, very clearly traumatized and exhausted boy in-front of her. “I’m a bit early, couldn’t sleep.” he sighs, falling onto the couch next to her, rubbing his eyes with his right hand, the left one resting on the couch behind her.

“Are you okay?” Y/n brakes the short silence, looking intently at him.

It was silent for about two minutes. That’s what the clock on the wall said. It felt like two hours.

“I have to be. Can’t afford to be distracted.”

“Charles, your father died, you’re allowed to be sad.” the girl said, shocked at his lack of emotion.

“It’s easier for everyone if i’m not, I had a good cry. Now I have to look after Mama’n.”

The brunette girl looks at him, slightly confused why it’s his job to look after his mother when he’s not the oldest, nor the only child.

He sighs once again, looking straight forward at the clock om the wall. “Lorenzo is married and expecting and Arthur’s not only focusing on his racing and getting to F2, but he’s also falling in love, you can hear it in the way the idiot talks about her.” Charles chuckles, slightly annoyed but happy for his brothers and their success. Oh, and how it made you love him even more.

“You deserve love too, Charlie.” Y/n says, looking intently at his reaction form her view of his side profile.

He looks at her. His gaze narrowed slightly and he shook his head as Y/n placed her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m serious, you deserve that support, you deserve to feel excited about seeing someone, you deserve to be comforted and happy and to have fun. You just have to let it in..” Y/n says, hinting at Charles that she was there, waiting for him.

He looks at her again, realizing immediately that they are very much closer than they were a few seconds ago.

“Y/n..” Charles says, looking down at her lips. He was tempted, very tempted. He was confused and sad and saw Y/n as a good distraction. Or at least that’s what he told himself. Y/n tried to make eye contact, but it was impossible when all he could look at was her lips.

So she did the next thing she could think of. She leaned in. Their lips brushed together, she hesitates as Charles looked like he wanted to say something more. “Y/n.. I” Still as close as they were, Y/n’s heart beat out of her chest, so loud she was convinced Charles could hear it. This was the moment she’s been waiting for. She’s been in love with Charles for more than half her life. The thought of him finally feeling the same made her head hurt and her mouth run dry.

“I can’t.”

Two words, those two words she knew she would remember forever, she does to this day, it’s stored in the old and dusty box in the corner of her mind marked with the initials C. L on it.

The next sentence she tried to solve for years and years, that was until she watched drive to survive, and although she got some clarity, it opened the cardboard box in the back of her mind and knocked it over, all the memories spilling out of the box and filling her mind. At that moment she would’ve chosen the silence over the taunting reminder of the childhood and teenage years spent with Charles Leclerc that kept her up that whole night.

One sentence and his closed off mannerism after that, that haunted her conscience, that house and made it so much harder to get over the Monegasque.

“I promised him, I’m sorry.”

Y/n watched the Monegasque take off with tears in her eyes and more than one crack in her heart.

“He’ll come around Y/n, give it the summer.” Said her best friend from the stairs. He sighs, rubbing over his face with a hand. Once again comforting his best friend over a guy treating her like shit. Only this time, he knew she wouldn’t be okay in the morning. He knew it would take a little time for Y/n to get over this one. He knew she’d still love Charles, no matter how good or bad they were to each other.

———————

Now many years later, Y/n is once again supposed to be with the Leclerc’s on a boat. Charles’ boat to be specific. She hasn’t talked, called or seen him since he left that morning, right after completely rejecting the girl.

Charles was excited.

You could even say he’s been waiting for this moment since he saw her skiing with her friends in December three years ago. Because the truth was, he has.

Charles would be lying right out of his ass if he said he didn’t miss his brother’s bestest of friends. She and Arthur were still extremely close, despite hearing that she took off for a few months after that night in the living room.

It’s been three and a half years since that, and Charles has regretted it ever since. He gets sick to his stomach thinking about it, thinking about hurting Y/n. Because deep down he cared more for her that he would admit.

It did make him focus more on racing. He put his all into it, trying to numb the pain of losing two people at the same time. He has then since signed for Ferarri and waited for the girls call. When it didn’t come he was disappointed to say the least, but understood her view. When drive to survive came out and explained how he promised his father that he got the seat to Ferarri, he thought the girl would understand his need to focus on only that, but when his phone never rang and he never heard her voice he knew she was gone, she was done chasing him. And that hurt him more than leaving in the first place, because he knew everything he knows would bring him back to them.

Bring him back to their arguments. To their laughs, their crys, screams, emotions.

Everything would bring him back to her.

“Y/n?” Charles hesitantly said through his phone, after practically tackling Arthur to get her new number.

“Charles. H-how did you get my number?” Y/n stutters, immediately knowing who’s voice it was through the phone. I mean, how would she not. She’s spent so much of her life imagining that voice utter three little words to her. Three words that didn’t break her heart but instead healed it. But she was older now, and those fantasies weren’t forgotten, but stored very much in the back of her mind in the infamous cardboard box.

“Uh, kind of fought my brother for it.” Charles muttered shamefully.

“Oh, uhm okay. Can I ask why?”

“I miss you, Y/n.” Charles replied almost immediately. Desperate for the girl’s attention.

“Charles.. I-.” She was cut off quickly. “Why aren’t you here? You said you’d be here. Maman is going insane with all the men, she needs you here.” Charles tries to convince her.

“I don’t know, Charles. It’s been a while.” Charles sighs at the absence of his nickname. “So come and we can catch up.” he continues.

“Please.”

It’s silent for a few seconds. It felt like minutes.

“Okay.” is the only thing Y/n says before hanging up. Charles still wanted to talk to her but he figured he could do that when she gets here.

“She’s coming !” Charles yells out to his family as he walks back up to them, sitting himself down on the white couch next to Lorenzo and across from the youngest Leclerc.

Pascal was obviously very happy, Lorenzo giving them all a surprised look. But Arthur, Arthur wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

“She’s not seventeen anymore, Charles. She doesn’t have a little crush on you anymore.” Arthur immediately shuts any wrong intentions down, not liking that Y/n agreed to come because his brother, who hurt her, asked her to.

“I know Arth. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried you idiot, but you should be if you even think about making a move on her or something.”

Arthur stands up and walks away, completely unappeased with this whole thing. Lorenzo follows.

“ He’s just looking out for his bestfriend, Cherie.” His mother reasons with a angry looking Charles. “I know, i’m just offended he’d think I would hurt her again, now that i’m older and more stable.”

“You still love her?” Pascal questions.

“What?” Charles looks so confused, you could’ve sworn he just saw a flying goat. “Ma cherie, you’re a very stubborn person, but you aren’t stupid.”

Charles stares at his mother, shocked at how well the woman knew him.

“Yes I do still love her.” Charles says, looking down at his feet, deflated by the fact that he couldn’t do anything about his feelings, knowing his brother would resent him and Y/n definitely didn’t trust or care for him anymore.

“I’m sorry, Charles.” Pascal says, standing up to go get another drink, kissing her son’s forehead on her way out.

•••••••••••••••••••••

𝗢𝗞𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝟭.

this is taking lot longer that I expected..

#charles #charles lecrelc #formula 1 #smut #art #fanfic #arthur leclerc #charles leclerc #lando norris #max verstappen #carlos sainz imagine #charles leclerc imagine #imagine #part 1

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2hightocare · 2 months

Text

LOVE WAGER! 02

Synopsis: The concept of love resurfaces as you both agree to center your psychology project on the premise that love is a choice. You propose an intriguing idea to Jungkook: he must exert every effort to make you fall in love with him within a month, to back up his belief.

Pairings: jungkook x fem!reader

Genre: college au. strangers to friends to lovers. angst/romantic comedy.

Warnings: mentions of divorce parents, neglectful parents, mentions of depression, banter, cussing, ex girlfriends, flashbacks, jungkook low key being super mean and discarding people’s feelings, jungkook hard-key depressed, implications of sex.

a/n: hai… this is so long overdue— exams month is coming and I had the biggest writers block fr but here’s my beloved babies. Song of the chapter— “love is embarrassing” by Olivia Rodrigo.

prev chapter! series masterlist!

Love.

Love is an intricate subject in its own right. Scientists elucidate it through the interplay of three cerebral chemicals: noradrenaline, dopamine, and phenylethylamine.

That's how Jungkook perceived love. He didn't subscribe to the notion of butterflies in the stomach or the fluttering heartbeat as justifications for love. To him, love was a scientific phenomenon, a complex emotion akin to sadness or jealousy-if he could evade such feelings, he would spare no effort.

But why did his stomach churn as if his organs were performing tiny somersaults whenever he gazed at you a tad too long? You were engrossed in the menu, pondering whether to get a burger or a slice of pizza.

Seated beautifully in your loose red Formula One shirt, Jungkook couldn't fathom how you managed to make that oversized shirt look so good.

Jungkook's eyes dropped to the ribbon in your hair, wondering why someone who was a full-on adult looked pretty, adorable even-with a red ribbon tied into a beautiful bow contrasting your skin and eyes. Your long eyelashes entranced him. He felt his stomach do something, a turn? Maybe his stomach was upset-he thought to himself.

Jungkook couldn't believe he found himself willingly sharing a table with you at the same dinner two years ago, he almost killed you at. He had moved to Emberhill U two years ago, ever since he moved out from his mom's house. Jungkook's life had gone to hell, which is exactly what his mind would tell him ever since his mom got a boyfriend. To make matters worse, he now had step-siblings.

He hated every bit of it. He wasn't jealous whatsoever.

It was the fact that his mom seemed to forget he even existed in the first place. Jungkook was hurt. He tried not to dwell or cry about it since he was a big boy-that's what he told himself now, pushing twenty-two, but still, part of his already broken heart shattered more.

How could your mom forget about her child? How could she not care about her only flesh and blood? He never told her that ever. Talking about his feelings with his mom was like talking to a brick wall that nothing could pass through. Plus, Jungkook wasn't good at communicating or talking about his feelings anyway. He found it embarrassing to lay yourself out there for someone to be able to discard you at any given moment.

Jungkook's dad wasn't any different as wellbeing too busy with work to even call him to ask his son if he was okay or how school is going. But the calls or text messages never came. Jungkook was used to it. It was his everyday. It was more shocking when he did call, but he wouldn't know what that would feel like since he never called ever since the divorce. Jungkook knew the divorce wasn't his fault whatsoever. His therapist—that his high school counselor made him go to—basically talked his ear off about how anything that happened wasn't his fault, but still, it felt like it was.

Ever since everything went down, his parents seemed to forget they had a child, who still needed them.

One advantage of his situation was the freedom to do as he pleased without his parents' interference. However, the downside was their lack of concern for his activities or just him in general. Jungkook was certain: if his parents didn't love him, who else in the world would? So, he didn't believe in love. When the two people meant to demonstrate unconditional love failed to do so, he doubted anyone else would. He would like to say that it didn't affect him and it's been years since everything, but deep down it still did.

Jungkook experiences a pang of guilt every time he looks at you. Perhaps it's the way he behaved when he first met you, the influence of the romantic comedy in your hands causing him to lash out at you.

Something about your ribbons makes him feel that you’re too innocent and naive for this world—part of him wants to shield you from its harsh realities, while another part wants to disillusion you about the cruelty of the world and the disparity between love in fairy tales and reality.

"Are you done daydreaming?" You say, interrupting his thoughts. Jungkook shakes his head, attempting to banish his thoughts before raising an eyebrow at your curious doe eyes. "I wasn't daydreaming," he states proudly, prompting a scoff from you, a grin tugging at Jungkook's lips.

"It was either daydreaming or checking me out since you were staring at me for a hot minute, but I decided otherwise since you have a girlfriend," you quip nonchalantly before calling the waiter to take your order.

"First of all, I don’t have a girlfriend, and second of all, what if I was checking you out?" Jungkook challenges. He didn’t know why he enjoyed getting on your nerves—any other person he would probably flip off and never give them the time of day, but instead, here he was with you doing the complete opposite.

"What happened to the girl from the dinner?" You question, your eyes finally meeting his brown ones. A glint of something passes over his eyes before disappearing as quickly as you saw it—so you thought maybe you had imagined it.

"Who?" Jungkook says, tilting his head to the side as he leans forward, his elbows propped on the table. "the one you mentioned to me two years ago? The one you discussed intimately," you mimic his voice. Jungkook's smile widens, amused by your jest.

"If you want to know so badly, we broke up—well, she broke up with me," Jungkook clicks his tongue, observing your expressions closely. He notices the creases of your forehead whenever you are thinking or the way you bite your lower lip to contain a smile that’s threatening to come out, each time Jungkook says something dumb.

"Oh, let me guess, she wanted love letters and sweet words whispered into her ear," you mock him, knowing he said that he didn’t need to do any of that to keep a girl. "You’re annoying, Ribbons," Jungkook shakes his head with a low soft chuckle.

You watch him pick up the menu and start scanning the items as you observe him. You notice how his jaw clenches momentarily before relaxing, his tongue poking on the inside of his cheek, making you wonder if you angered him—and if you did, maybe you should do it more often since he looked hot—

Record scratch.

Your mind was playing games with you the more you watched the raven-haired boy. The more you realized he was the epitome of the boy you imagined whenever you were reading a book, the dimples on his cheeks, the scar right above his cheekbone, and the mole underneath his bottom lip had you wanting to ask him for his whole life story.

He also looks like those cute love song playlists that had all your favorite songs in them, but you knew from the way he acts around you, it was definitely a hard no and maybe you were delusional after all. So you try hard to shove those ideas into the back of your brain as far as you could.

"I knew that you couldn’t keep a girlfriend," you shrug, prompting a gasp from him as he jokingly places a hand on his heart, as if you had just dealt him a mortal blow.

"Wow, YN doesn’t think I’m boyfriend material?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, shaking his head.

"You’re literally everything that's not boyfriend material," you throw your head back with a laugh, observing his widened eyes with amusement evident on his face. "Ouch," Jungkook scoffs dramatically.

"What makes you say I’m not boyfriend material?" he says, scanning the room for a waiter but finding none, before redirecting his attention to you.

"You don’t believe in love, that's one way to start," you point out, eliciting a hum of agreement from him. "What's that got to do with being a good boyfriend? I assure you that a good boyfriend isn’t necessarily head over heels in love," Jungkook says, as if imparting a valuable lesson, while your facial expression betrays you.

"The fuck? You literally hate everything related to love. Being a good boyfriend means doing cliche shit you hate doing so much, how could you possibly be boyfriend material?" you assert proudly, prompting an eye-roll from him.

"All that stuff is just superficial shit that everyone collectively agreed on. It’s just embarrassing how people put themselves go through all that just to make someone lik—“

"Love," you interject, earning yourself a glare from across the table.

"Like I was saying, I stand by the fact all those stupid romantic gestures are pointless. Society basically romanticized love and set up unrealistic expectations— everything just leads to heartbreak and disappointment," Jungkook continues, you watch how the hard expression on his face wavers to something more… sad, like he was talking from experience.

"Have you ever experienced love?" you inquire, not sure why since you guys weren’t even friends in the first place—the only reason you found yourself sitting with him willingly was because of psychology class.

"What?" Jungkook is caught off guard by the sudden question.

"Have you ever been in love?" you reiterate, observing his expression harden once more. "No, never, and I don’t plan to," Jungkook shrugs, going back to his usual cocky self in a blink of an eye, prompting yet another eye-roll from you, marking thirty-eighth.

You didn’t get the chance to reply since a waiter came to your table, apologizing for taking so long to get to us before taking our orders.

You and Jungkook decided on sharing a pizza, and you obviously ordered a coke, which got Jungkook joking about how he isn’t trying to make you choke again, which had the waiter shifting uncomfortably beside you both while Jungkook had an eating-shit grin on his face.

“That’s not what he meant!” You chuckled nervously, your face reddening, matching your shirt from how embarrassed you are.

“No, it’s okay, you don't have to explain,” the waiter said before excusing himself.

The moment the waiter was out of your line of vision, you turned your head to the boy who’s sucking in his lips, trying not to laugh.

“What the fuck was that?” You glared, your eyebrows scrunching. “What, you both just have a dirty mind,” Jungkook shrugged, the grin on his face making you shift in your chair.

Jungkook's aura was unlike anything you’d ever stumbled upon, and you hated it. It made you want to know more about him than you should, the way he carried himself and talked had you questioning why? He wasn’t so different from other boys you had met, besides the fact that he spoke his mind as if no one was around, not caring if he hurt your feelings or offended you. It was refreshing in some way, but it still made you want to pull your hair out.

“Alright… let’s change topics, Mr. Anti-Romantic,” you say, watching his smile widen.

“What?” You stared at him, trying to think what could possibly make him smile that much. You were sure your face would hurt if you possibly smiled that much.

“Nothing, I just find it extremely hot when you call me that, it turns me on,” Jungkook said, leaning forward.

Okay, that’s not exactly what you were imagining him saying. Your eyes widened momentarily, feeling your heartbeat rise. The smile not leaving his face had you feeling hot, as if the room temperature suddenly increased.

“Uh… so, project,” you blinked rapidly.

“Yeah, project,” Jungkook agreed, smile still on his face as he saw your cheeks flush with a reddish color.

“So, any ideas about what our project can be about?” You said, grabbing the hair tie around your wrist and using it to make a ponytail, taking the ribbons out before tying your hair.

Two small strands fell from your face, tempting Jungkook's fingers to reach out and tuck them behind your ear. He wanted to slap himself back to reality since he never in his life thought those thoughts, not even with Haneul, whom he dated for five months, setting a record. He still remembered the reason she gave him for breaking up. It was laughable.

“Jungkook, you don’t even look at me with love, and I know you said when we first met that it was only attraction, but I thought you would change over time the more we hung out,” Haneul whimpered, tears gathering around her eyes as Jungkook just stared at her, not knowing what to say. Because yes, he did tell her it was all attraction, and it’s still only attraction to this day for him.

“You don’t hold my hand or give me kisses, you don’t even give me flowers,” Haneul cried, her voice cracking with each word she said.

“I told you, I don’t do that stuff,” Jungkook said. He felt bad for her since he knew she deserved better, but he didn’t feel bad about not doing those things for her since he told her he wouldn’t and never would do them. And she agreed, so why was she crying about it now when she agreed to it five months ago?

“I know you did, but I thought you just… fuck, you haven’t even introduced me to your family,” a crack is heard from Jungkook's heart, but not for the girl in front of him crying her heart out, but for himself, because yeah, he had no family he could take a girl home to, since he had no home at all. He had a house, but it was as empty as he was.

“Haneul, I told you—“

“Yeah, that you will never do that! I get it, okay? I get it, but fuck, how can you not care? Do you not feel anything when it comes to me?” The girl wept more, which had Jungkook sighing.

“I like you, Haneul,” Jungkook replied. “I love you, Jungkook, can’t you tell…” she whispered, a choked sob leaving her lips as she looked up at the man who’s just standing in front of her like nothing.

“I’m sorry,” that's all Jungkook said… because what else could he say? It was either that or that he didn’t love her, but to not take it personally since he didn’t love anything?

So instead, he said the only thing he could muster without his voice cracking.

“Love,” Jungkook finally says, his statement catching you off guard, widening your eyes in surprise.

“Love? I thought you hated love,” you raise an eyebrow, perplexed by his sudden declaration.

“I do, but love is psychological. We can discuss how we, as humans, have the ability to choose whether we fall in love or not,” Jungkook articulates.

“That’s not how love works, Jungkook,” you retort, to which he responds with a disapproving nod. “It does, though,” Jungkook rebuts.

“It doesn’t. Love is not something we can choose and pick, it just happens,” you try to explain.

“You believe love just happens, but I disagree, respectfully,” Jungkook adds, causing you to tilt your head curiously, intrigued by his perspective. “I’ve held on for too long without being in love since I said I wouldn’t fall in love,” he concludes.

“That’s because you haven’t met anyone you actually want to try with… maybe you just haven’t met your soulmate,” you suggest, annoyance evident on Jungkook’s face the moment you mention the concept of soulmates.

“Soulmates don’t exist, ribbons,” Jungkook snickers.

“I beg to differ,” you cross your arms, adamant in your belief. “I don’t know what fantasy lovey-dovey world you live in, but soulmates are just made up,” Jungkook shrugs casually.

“Maybe you are right about the fact that you get to choose who you fall in love with since I know for a fact I would never fall in love with you,” you spitefully state.

Jungkook nods, feeling a bitter taste in his mouth that catches him off guard. Perhaps it was the fact that someone had just openly admitted they wouldn’t want to love him—reminding him of the kid he once was, desperately begging his parents to love him. But wasn’t this what he was trying to prove in the first place, that love was a choice? Then why did it hurt to hear you say those words out loud?

“Atta girl, finally got it huh,” Jungkook smirks, ignoring the pang of hurt in his chest. “Alright then, if we did do that for our project, let’s say we argued that love is a choice and it doesn’t happen. How do we prove that?” you question.

Silence fills the table as you both brainstorm ideas, trying to back up this argument.

“I got it,” you say, as if a light bulb just appeared on top of your head. Jungkook nods, encouraging you to continue.

“What if we spend a month with you doing absolutely everything to make me fall in love with you? And I mean do all that cliché, romantic shit I love that you hate so much. Since I know for a fact that I choose not to fall in love with you, we can discuss how, even if a person does everything right, you still get to choose who you love,” you explain carefully, ensuring he understands your proposal.

“It’s a good idea for the project; we could use ourselves to illustrate how we pick and choose who we love, like you said,” you try to convince him, giving him the benefit of the doubt after he convinced you of his beliefs. You knew you would never fall for him, even if he did everything you ever read in books and saw in movies.

“We can call it the Love Wager,” you finish, scanning his face as he contemplates the idea.

Jungkook’s mind races, unsure if he likes the idea or absolutely hates it. On one hand, it could earn him a good grade, given the strong rationale behind it, using yourselves as an experiment to support your argument. But on the other hand, the thought of spending a month doing everything he had vocally despised for the past five years gave him the heebie-jeebies.

“Alright then, the Love Wager operation starts,” Jungkook agrees instead, while you clap happily. “Oh my god yay, this might give me an A plus,” you celebrate, giggling as Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“It’s a long story; I just hate psychology,” you say, to which he nods in response.

“Well, we have a month together, so start explaining why you hate it so much,” Jungkook says nonchalantly, and before you could reply, the waiter hurriedly returns to your table, apologizing for the wait, mentioning the kitchen’s struggle with the influx of orders. But you keep your eyes on the boy in front of you, who looks at the waiter, reassuring him it’s okay.

The smell of fresh, hot pizza fills your nostrils as you finally snap out of your trance, looking down at the pizza the waiter is sliding onto the table, cautioning you both that it is extremely hot. The waiter continues to place all the food you ordered on the table before leaving with a bow.

“I’m starving, oh my god,” Jungkook moans as he picks up a slice of pizza and takes a bite, ignoring the steam.

“How is that not burning your tongue, oh my…” you begin to say, but you’re interrupted as you take a bite of your own slice, immediately regretting it as you burn your tongue. “Ah, ah, ha,” you drop the pizza onto your plate, sticking your tongue out and fanning your mouth with your hand. A small laugh escapes from Jungkook as you shoot him a snarky glare.

“He literally just told you it was hot, ribbons,” Jungkook says, grabbing a napkin from the container and reaching over to wipe some sauce off your lips and face. The fanning from your hand halts as you stare at his focused face, feeling yourself heat up again, but this time it’s not your mouth—it’s your cheeks.

“Why did you just do that?” you ask before you can stop yourself, as he sits back down properly. “I’m starting my boyfriend material journey, you know, since the project?” Jungkook says casually, taking another bite of pizza, watching you in surprise as you shockingly observe him not being fazed by the burning food in his mouth, chewing happily.

“Oh… we’re starting right now?” you gesture to the table between you both, indicating ‘right now’. “Yeah, we only have one month, let’s make it worth it,” he says, diving back into his food.

God, this month was definitely going to be a roller coaster.

💌taglist— @brune77e @cherryfragrancx @inlovewithharutoo @jcnggukie @vkjmjjk @seokjinspinkslipper @jayjahni @mxrecg @suciedad-divina @peterstarkchrishiddleston @aiiselle90210 @lovingkoalaface @httpjeonlicious @thekookiedealer @somehowukook @taiwan0618 @gwsjungkookie @chxrrybangtan @seokout @junecat18 @joonsanswer @ahgasegotarmy116recs @jkmylove97 @letjungcoook7 @skzthinker @whoa-jo @ziyaexe @kooloveys @sneezedonthebeat @parkinglot-nights @btsffreader92 @jjeonjjk7 (lmk if you wanna get taken off)

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saturnstrn · 2 months

Text

matt sturniolo hc’s !

matt sturniolo x reader

no warnings!

i lowk feel like he would be kinda dry in the talking stage

he’s kinda an awkward person so he would not know how to act

but besides that, the man is OBSESSED with you

okay but the way i see him an extroverted person

will definitely drive you anywhere you want to

BOY DOES NOT SAY NO TO YOU

“ i literally asked you to take me to target and you said no but when she asks it’s a yes?!” “ she has girlfriend priorities nick!”

“ do you want to go shopping with me today 🤗” boy will probably make a face but will still say yes

and if he does…. he’s in for a treat..

ITS FOR GOOD REASONS THOUGH

“ alr baby no more drinks let’s go” with a protective mom look on his face dragging you away

he’s such a mom to you

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET SICK BRO

he will bring you anything you need, and will YELL at you if you get up

“ why would you get up! sit back down your sick!”

okay but your lowk a mother to him too….

he secretly loves it but never will admit it..

bro tells EVERYONE he hates pet names and shit like that but folds when you call him baby

baby, sweetheart,my girl, babe, those are the few he calls you

SPEAKING OF MY GIRL

bro addresses you to other people like that

“ yeah my girl really likes those” “ my girl’s over there” “ oh yeah my girl is friends with her but” and so on

he follows you around like a lost puppy

especially at parties

ok now let’s talk about arguments…

i feel like you both would be stubborn people so arguments wouldn’t happen frequently but sometime often

OVER STUPID STUFF

he’ll never yell at you though

but he gets kinda mean and you have to put him in his place…

“ god you just like to start fights for zero reason huh? ” “ you started this fight matthew!!”

oh but once you pull out the full name… he KNOWS he’s screwed..

“ i’m sorry baby” he’ll say after kissing you

hes buy literally anything for you

princess treatment to the MAX.

he’s brought you flowers every since you guys started dating

hand on thigh during car rides

he’s not very into pda but behind close doors he’s all over you.

he’s likes things being one on ones

your relationship would be so soft launched

either it’s from ur insta photos dumps or his stories

either way, everyone knows ur dating

he’s so “ you’re beautiful “ than “ you’re fine” TRY AND DISAGREE WITH ME

he knows you’re an a good looking person so i feel like jealously isn’t really there

he would only get “ possessive” if he sees the other person making you uncomfortable

HIS FAMILY LOVESSSSS YOU

like they absolute adore you.

you have facetime calls with marylou every month to “ catch up” but in reality your just talking about matt

if you have siblings, your siblings + parents love him

every time he comes over for dinner, it ends in him and your dad bonding over anything.

your mom gets mad whenever you get upset at matt bye

“ don’t yell at him like that!” “yeah don’t yell at me like that”

he’s such a suck up bye

YOU GUYS ARE LOCKED TF IN

i will add more later !

#chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #mattsturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #matt x reader #matt sturniolo fluff #writing #𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐩𝐬⋆🎧✮⋆

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strawberryforks · 4 months

Text

whatever the hell we want // bellamy blake x reader

summary: reader didn’t care much for living, the eldest blake sibling made it worthwhile, even enjoyable

warnings: angst, suicidal thoughts/ideation, swearing

word count: 1908

a/n: this one is a bit heavy. i was having a bad day so i will apologize for turning the cutesy “how did bellamy and reader meet” request into this emotional abomination (sorry)

you probably should have been excited to be on the ground. it was that or being floated–tossed into a lock sealed door, trapped, and taunted with the faces of whatever loved ones chose to say goodbye (you didn’t have to worry about that, the only family you had, you met in lock up–your bio dad, marcus kane, was awful and on days that ended in ‘y’, you opted to pretend he didn’t exist) before another door would open and you’d be sucked out into space. the little oxygen in your lungs would tear them apart. what had sustained you for so long would then be your downfall. what you needed to breath would kill you.

you’d be so hot, so hot as your blood boiled and so hot as you died, staring out at the stars you loved so much. you were nineteen, the oldest prisoner to be alive and on the arc, but even kane’s powers had their limits. in three days you would be floated. three days until that would be your fate and still.

still.

when you woke up on that dropship you were pissed. it was the first thing you were mad about.

with a forever fuck-it attitude, you unbuckled your seat. floating around with a few others you ignored your best friend when she told you “sit back down, dumbass!” you cracked a grin and then the lights flickered.

while entering the new atmosphere something went wrong—something malfunctioned. maybe the shutes didn’t deploy or maybe you were just lucky but when the screaming started, you didn’t hear it for more than a few seconds because you were flung into one of the metal walls, just above the seats, and your vision spotted before going disappearing completely. sounds dulled, everything dulled. you were probably dying, you smiled because of that

when you landed, you woke up. that was the second thing you were mad about.

you were suspended in the air in some kind of fabric. It wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, not until you attempted to stretch your stiff limbs and found the material twisting. it spat you out on the ground and you made a noise. it bubbled from the back of your throat, expressing your obvious upset, you lifted your hand to touch your cheekbone–it was throbbing and you had the vague memory of your face slamming into the dropship wall. at fucking nineteen, you weren’t supposed to have to deal with any of this. you should’ve been floated a long damn time ago, would’ve like to have been too. you were the oldest prisoner on the ark, only alive because of who your daddy was. the daughter of marcus kane (you hate him as much as the next person) you’d been spared. he tended to get what he wanted.

where you lie, a boy does across from you on another makeshift bed. you lean over him, study him. He has some features you recognize. freckles and long eyelashes. you’re peering over him, observing, when those eyelashes lift and he’s blinking up at you. you scoot backwards not wanting to bang heads (yours was quite tender).

the hand that you have been absentmindedly feeling around your face with, came away with no blood coating, “i’m ocatavia’s brother, bellamy.” bellamy blake, okay. you’d heard of him and despite never meeting him before, the stories octavia had told you, mostly about how he protected her and made life under the floor less horrendous, you decided he was safe.

you glance at him, not all that hesitant. your best friend was a force and if she left you alone, in here, with him, he was trustworthy. your lips are pressed into a tight line. you don’t need to introduce yourself, he already knows. of course he does. you assure yourself he knows because you’re his little sister’s best friend and not because you’re kane’s daughter, the one who killed a man and got away scot free. you had a damn good reason but the ark’s justice system was lacking.

you tell yourself he isn’t judging you, he doesn’t look like he is, but you know you deserve to be judged so it’s a losing battle.

you glance down at your wrist and see it’s bare. the band that transmits your vitals to the ark is missing, and when you look at his wrist, you realise he isn’t wearing one either. “lost in the rough landing?” you ask, with a lilt to your voice.

his shoulders shake as he laughs a little. “something like that.”

you sit back up and climb back into your hammock. this time your hands are both out beside you to stabilise yourself. it’s quiet for a moment, the tent dark enough you know it’s night time. “why’d you take it?” you asked, unable to stop your curiosity.

“the ark hasn’t done anything for us. they sent us down here to die, because we’re expendable. in their eyes we’re just repaying them.”

oh. so your dad probably thinks you’re dead right now. that doesn’t unsettle you as much as it would the average person–actually you don’t mind it at all. let him learn what it means to fail, to lose, in some permanent way. let him face the brunt of the consequences his actions wrought for once. maybe this sentence would be the one to ruin him.

you stare at the pitch of the tent. are we on earth right now? is it safe? did the others survive? what happens now? your mind is flooded with questions.

“you think loudly.” bellamy informs.

“i’ve been out for awhile, huh?” in response, he nodded. “is it okay? is everyone okay?”

“they are. you almost weren’t though. that stunt you pulled? it was a whole different level of dumb.”

it’s peaceful until sunrise when the screaming starts. Guttural moans and groans echo from within the camp. “That’s jasper,” bellamy supplies while you’re rubbing your head, all but pleading with the ache to subside.

then octavia’s bursting through the tent flaps, “i knew i heard voices!” she pulls you outside with her and just… woah. everything is brighter. unlike the monotones on the ark there’s all kinds of colours. blue sky, green tress. they’re so green and so many different shades. light, dark, sage, evergreen. you’ve never seen anything so beautiful, other than your stars. you miss them, and looking up at the sky you can’t see them only clouds–white floating cotton that moves with the wind. you’re on earth and you don’t know if you belong here but in all fairness you didn’t belong on that spaceship either. the only place you thought might be a good fit for you was now miles upon miles away. a good thing, if you asked octavia.

the “whatever the hell we want” movement was one you supported quickly and joined even quicker. bellamy and his buddies at its forefront you figured, why not. you liked to fight, so thats what you did. you threw punches and received them and slaps to the face. It satiated you need to self destruct and would until bellamy or octavia intervened. you didn’t quite care for danger and took as many guard and patrol shifts as you could. you liked carrying a weapon, liked exploring, and hated being cooped up and confined.

you were walking away from the wall, alone this time, with no particular destination in mind. sometimes you brought octavia with you but she was busy talking and flirting (not in that particular order) her brother never liked when she joined in on your adventures so it was probably better that she wasn’t with you.

“not dragging my sister along with you this time?” a familiar voice chided. bellamy blake. speak of the devil and he shall appear.

you shrug your shoulders and continue walking. “not this time, no.”

“hey! come back. where the hell do you think you’re going.”

“i haven’t decided yet. maybe the river. maybe the caves. maybe, it’s none of your business,” you respond dryly, still walking ahead. his hand clamps down on your arm and he stops you from moving further, “what, bellamy? what?” his eyes, alight with fire, something you’ve seen in your best friend once or twice, full of curiosity, and understanding, meet your own. he gazes into your dead ones, takes a look at your blank expression and bends down. a hand grips the backs of your thighs and then he’s picking you up. you’re slung over his shoulder like you weigh nothing and had you not been so emotionally empty you would've been incredibly impressed. “what the hell bellamy? what are you doing?”

“whatever the hell i want, though, that? it doesn’t apply to you anymore, not when you don’t know what you want,”

“i do,” you argue.

“not when what you want isn’t anything good.” he fires back.

and that’s how you met bellamy blake. at first you hated him, hated how he drug you along wherever he went–patrol was nice but he would insist on bringing you everywhere, even on the most pointless errands. to do the most boring things. he made you drag logs to help reinforce the wall and sometimes he didn’t even help. prison warden or friend, who fucking knew?

but bellamy kept you busy. kept you distracted from the brewing storm in your head.

you got used to him. bellamy blake became your new normal and even made you smile a few times, usually when firelight was reflecting off of both of your cheeks as you roasted your dinner. the first time, you sat on a log beside him, your supper sitting inside of the flames, blackening. he went to grab the stick from you–probably guessing you were attempting to light yourself on fire, or that you’d begun to dissociate. you snatch the stick back. “it’s burning,” he warns, voice having a sharp edge.

“sorry if i would rather taste charcoal than two headed, six tailed, mutated squirrel.”

that night he held you. you let him.

close to his chest and away from any and all danger, you slept soundly and dreamlessly for the first time in years. the sleep–it helped with your mood, too.

bellamy held you again. he always liked to hold you—to have a hand in yours or resting on your shoulder. this time, the touch wasn’t comforting, to assure himself that you were real and not going anywhere. this time that physical touch was the only reason you weren’t going anywhere. his grip was tighter, thank god.

the grounders were coming an the only way to stop them or at least to slow them down was to blow up the bridge. you needed to place the bomb but everyone was terrified to let you go, bellamy especially. you did what you had to, sneaking away and setting it. you were scared–you didn’t know when it happened, when you started wanting to live, but it was a soul-deep change that you knew had something to do with the blake siblings. specifically bellamy, who’s companionship you hadn’t wanted but needed more than anything.

you placed the bomb on the bridge and detonated it, running as fast as you could as the moss covered stone crumbled behind you. the structural integrity was giving away and you were so close tot he edge but… you started to fall. you closed your eyes, pressed them shut as tightly as you could and then that hand was there.

bellamy’s. closed around your wrist and holding on for all he was worth. your heart beat so hard in your chest you had to look down to make sure you hadn’t been speared by a grounder, and that it wasn’t leaking out.

you loved him and you were so thankful he never listened to you. when you said you didn’t need him, when earlier, you shouted at him and told him not to follow you–it was a weak distraction but now, he pulled you back onto solid ground and wrapped you in his arms and you had no regrets. none at all. well… you had one, but it was easily rectified.

it was a struggle, pushing him away at the shoulders, holding him at arms length and seeing the worry on his face all over again. it was a struggle but when you stopped regretting things and dove back in, moulding your lips together in a passionate kiss, everything was better. bell’s hand palmed your cheek and pulled you impossibly closer as yours moved through his hair.

#the 100 #bellamy blake #octavia blake #marcus kane #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake x you #bellamy blake x y/n

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