#truly can’t reach a consensus in my mind
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I still do it better
Obanai x Mitsuri x Fem! Reader
Sequel to I can do it better
Warnings: rough sex, face sitting, cunnilingus, come eating, unprotected sex, creampies, marking and bruising, degrading, praising, overstimulation, consensual restraining, spitting, biting, breast play, scissoring, group sex, threesome, idk man a lot is going on I’m not gonna lie lmfao
Note: here we go! The long awaited part two. Hope y’all enjoy & I apologize if it doesn’t meet your expectations… this is why I kinda hate sequels I can’t lie 😭
The paragraph lengths vary in size because I had to break them up. They were initially massive paragraphs and I know damn well nobody is gonna want to read all that… so I had to break them up a bit half-hazardously
Word count: 10.5k
Your fingers trailed along your thighs, the small crescent shape bruises were nearly faded. For some reason, that made you feel a bit sad. It had been nearly a week since your encounter with the love and serpent pillars and nearly everyday that had passed since had felt as if you weren’t even there. You pulled yourself from your daze, turning to test the warmth of the bath water that you had been waiting on. You set your robes to the side, letting your body sink into the water and relishing in it as if it were a warm embrace.
You flinched at your own thoughts, you had been feeling utterly touch starved. You were silently longing for their warm bed once again, the soft touch of Mitsuri at your back, the warm breath of Obanai fanning across your shoulder. What got you the most is that you were missing him just as much as you were missing her. Not a day had gone by that your mind didn’t linger on that night. You had initially been so scared of it, the rough treatment Obanai bestowed upon you, the way Mitsuri seemingly cheered him on.
Part of you was mortified that you had enjoyed it so thoroughly. Now, you were aching to be treated like that for a second time. You craved the taste of her arousal, the feeling of his hands on you. They had unintentionally ruined you. You sunk lower in the water, not stopping until it reached just below your nose. You couldn’t believe yourself, betrayed by your own thoughts several times while trying to go about your day to day life. You had no concept of how to bring it up again, the physical reminders left on your skin wouldn’t let you forget.
Yet, part of you was aching for more, not quite satisfied with the marks that remained. You wanted more, from both parties. But above all else, you wanted to prove your worth. You wanted to convince Obanai you were worthy of his cum. Your legs kicked in the water, eyes squeezing shut as you came to the conclusion that you’d simply be plagued with these thoughts until you did something about them. Laying alone in your bed after had been the worst part. Having to drag yourself from their warm home and back to your empty quiet one felt like a death sentence.
“You really don’t have to leave just yet.” Mitsuri was worrying around you, fixing your hair neatly after you refused the offer of a bath. You wanted to wash your skin yourself, not create some fantasy that you’d stay here forever. “I’m fine, really Mitsuri. I need to get back in case I’m summoned for a mission.” You waved her off, thanking her quietly after she finished your hair. “Are you sure? You really don’t want to stay longer? We wouldn’t mind.” Obanai didn’t interject, instead he remained quiet as he began wrapping his face once more on the far side of the room.
He had been awfully quiet since waking up, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like you were used to. “I appreciate the offer. I truly do. But I have to get back to my own home.” Your hands fidgeted in your lap, moving to stand with a slight limp. “You can’t even walk properly, please stay. Let us help you… it’s the least we could do.” You felt warmth spread across your face, especially since you caught Obanai chuckling softly. “Mitsuri please, if she wants to leave, let her leave.” You didn’t want to leave, but you knew if you stayed you’d fall in deep and never recover.
Little did you know the damage was already done. “Alright… but if you need us, you know where to find us.” Mitsuri’s hands fell to her kimono, fidgeting because she couldn’t quite figure out how to say goodbye. It was a one time thing, there were no strings attached from it. At least that’s what you told yourself as you bowed to them, stepping off their front porch and heading back the way you had come. It was a one time thing, nothing more. It repeated like a mantra as you limped back, face holding on to the embarrassed warmth as you tried your damn hardest to not look like you had just got your ass handed to you. “Damn him.”
You pushed yourself up, the bath water sloshing dangerously close to the edge. “What the hell am I going to do?” you whined to no one, your voice bouncing off the walls and right back at you. It felt like you were being taunted at this point, like the universe was waiting to see how long you would take to crack. You had to wonder what would happen if you just gave in. What if you just dragged your sorry ass back to their estate and begged for a second round… a rematch.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” you rubbed your face, trying your hardest to ignore the slow throb between your legs as your mind betrayed you yet again. “You’re a great stress reliever.” Obanai’s words lingered, probably a lot longer than they should have. The various things he had said to you felt as if they had been engraved on your skin. “Stay still and he’ll stop.” Mitsuri’s voice echoed softly, the gentle scrape of her nails on the back of your skull. Every time you close your eyes, you see them. “This has to be some sort of curse. Maybe Shinobu has something she could give me that will make me forget.”
Forget about the ache of wanting to people who would never want you back. You got out of the bath, not quite able to enjoy it the way you hoped you would be able to. The water ran off of you in rivets, the steam of the room was warm enough to not draw a shiver from you as you reached for a towel to dry yourself off. It was as if your body moved on autopilot, dressing yourself in one of your finer kimonos. It was a risky move, but you couldn’t keep going on like this without at least trying. Your fingers trailed along your face, head tilting left and right to make sure your hair looked alright.
You reached for your perfumed oils, dabbing a bit on your pulse points. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if putting on a bit of makeup would be too much. In the end you decided against it, you’d head out as you were. The worst that could happen would be rejection, then maybe you’d be able to move on. “It’s nearly 10pm, showing up at their home at this time will make me seem insane.” Yet, you were still stepping off your porch and into the moonlight, a clear destination in your mind. You sighed, knowing there was also the chance that neither of them may be home.
It was night after all, they could be patrolling their sectors and not be home till morning. Then, you’d feel like an absolute desperate idiot for doing this. Yet, the off chance that things would fall perfectly into place started propelling you further. The walk itself wasn’t a long one, you had come to find that you only lived about fifteen minutes from the two pillar’s estate. Thinking back on it, you only found your way home because of Mitsuri’s crow guiding you. How it knew your coordinates you’d never know, especially since Mitsuri had never been to your home. That, however, was a question for another day.
You steadied your breathing as the trees grew few and far between, eventually leading to the open space that their shared estate resides on. The estate itself was large, not as large as the butterfly estate but still quite spacious. A simple stone pathway leads up to the large roofed porch and double doors that would grant you entrance. You had to admire the amount of work Mitsuri put into her home, various wild flowers were planted along the pathway. You kept moving, slightly motivated by the various windows that held the light of glowing candles. It seems the two pillars were home, honestly it sent a chill of anxiety down your spine. Things had been so much easier when Mitsuri was the one initiating everything.
You stopped just before the small set of stairs leading up to the door, the quiet rustle of fabric making the hair on the back of your neck prickle. “Are you trying to scare the shit out of me, Obanai?” Your jaw clenched after speaking, a lame attempt at acting tough when in truth he’d scared the shit out of you. “Good to know you have some sort of spatial awareness.” He emerged from the shadows a moment later, still dressed in his corps uniform with Kaburamaru still sitting around his neck. You bit your tongue, scrunching your nose in disdain as he gave you a once over. “I noticed you as I was walking home, took a shortcut to beat you here.'' He looked almost smug about it, arms moving to cross his chest as he waited for you to say something.
“Oh so you’ve just finished patrolling for the night? I guess you’ll be of no use for what I came here for… Mitsuri’s home though, right?” You moved up the stairs, freezing when his arm shot out to prevent you from making it to the door. “That’s a sharp tongue for someone who’s trying to enter my house.” you glanced down at his arm before looking back up at him. “It’s the truth… I did come here for your girlfriend after all… not you.” You couldn’t see it, but you could just tell there was a shit eating grin creeping up his face. “You’re such a fucking liar.” you forced your expression to remain neutral, you knew you were a liar but you had hoped he wouldn’t see straight through you. “Don’t flatter yourself.” Kaburamaru hissed softly, reaching out to look at you better.
“Even Kaburamaru knows you’re full of shit.” Obanai’s hand moved to mockingly allow you entrance, pointing to the front door. “But if you’re so determined, go ahead and enter. I’m sure Mitsuri will be thrilled to see you.” There was a catch, you could tell by the glint in his eyes. There was something he knew that you didn’t. You stepped tentatively, pausing as your hand reached for the knob. “Go on, since you’re so desperate for her, there should be nothing holding you back.” The bite in his tone, everything you did that so much as pissed him off would only come around to bite you later.
That’s what it was, you realized quickly as you pushed on the knob and entered. He was observing your every move to use against you. “Obanai? That you?” Mitsuri’s voice echoed through the entryway, “Yeah, it’s me. We have a guest.” The rustle of cloth was followed by footsteps. “A guest?” Pink hair rounded the corner a moment later. Mitsuri’s hair was down, holding a faint wave from her three braids she typically wore. She was dressed in her sleepwear, the front of her kimono dangerously low and exposing her breasts. “I was just getting ready for bed. I didn't think we–Y/N!?”she stopped rubbing her eyes, blinking in surprise as she looked you over.
“Y-yeah, it’s me. If you were getting ready for bed then I can go…” You stopped mid-step backwards as Obanai’s hand grabbed your upper arm. “No! No it’s no trouble at all…I uhm…I assume…” Mitsuri’s face was steadily turning pink, apparently it was too obvious to everyone as to why you had hauled yourself over here. “She’s here for the reason you think, lovely. Seems she can’t stop thinking about you… though she claims to want nothing to do with me.” Obanai’s grip tightened, duo-tone eyes watching Mitsuri’s shift between the two of you.
“O-oh I see… well…” You could see the slight disappointment in her gaze, you wanted to turn and slap the serpent pillar for making you seem like a complete asshole. “That’s not true!” you swallowed your pride, even though it was literally the last thing you wanted to do. There was no point and no fun in any of this if Mitsuri was uncomfortable by the idea of you wanting nothing to do with her boyfriend. “Oh, It’s not?” Obanai jeered, he needed to hear you say it. “You’re such a dick, though I’m sure you know that…'' you glanced at Mitsuri, not able to hold Obanai’s gaze as you spoke.
“I-I came here because I can’t stop thinking about either of you. If you’re willing…I’d like to do it all again.” Heat flooded your body from head to toe, primarily in your ears. Neither spoke, for a moment you had to question if you’d crossed a line. “You would? Really?” Mitsuri’s eyes seemed to regain their sparkle, hands clasping excitedly in front of her. “Y-yes… if you’d have me… both of you.” Obanai should have known you’d turn into nothing more than a timid kitten when in Mitsuri’s presence. He couldn’t necessarily say he blamed you for it. As kind as she was, she was someone you didn’t want to upset or disappoint.
“Of course we’ll have you. Come along, let’s go upstairs, we can discuss more there.” Mitsuri’s hand reached for your own, Obanai’s grip letting you go as she dragged you towards the stairs. He stayed behind for a moment, watching Mitsuri practically hauled you up the stairs in her own haste. He had expected you to return a lot quicker than you did, for a moment he almost found himself impressed by your will to resist your desires. “Obanai?” Mitsuri’s voice pulled him from his daze, “Coming, I was just taking off my shoes.” his sandals were kicked off a moment later, Kaburamaru hissing softly. “Yes, I know. I’ll give you your dinner in a moment.”
“He’ll take a moment, he has to put Kaburamaru to bed. For now, make yourself comfortable.” The sleepiness the love pillar had felt was long since forgotten, replaced by a bubbling heat and shiver of excitement. There had been so many things she wanted to do, so many things that she had thought about doing since you had left that day. She had even considered going over to your estate only a few days after the fact to ask you if you’d like to do it all again. Obanai had convinced her otherwise, saying it was better if you came to them since they were the ones to go to you first.
He was certain you’d come back, though Mitsuri couldn’t really figure out why he was so sure of it. “You look beautiful.” Mitsuri smiled as she looked you over. “Oh-thank you… you look beautiful as well.” You hoped it looked effortless, as effortless as Mitsuri looked. Though something about the smile on her face told you she knew you had put a little bit of time into your appearance before coming over. “You’re so cute, y/n-chan. You’re trying so hard to not seem flustered but I see right through you.” She sauntered across the room, not stopping until she stood right before you. One motion and you knew she wanted you to open your legs, allowing her closer.
“You’re desperate aren’t you? It’s okay to admit it…” she reached to hold your face, holding you so you couldn’t look away from her. “… I am too.” “Y-you are?” You weren’t sure why you felt so vulnerable, part of you felt like you were a bother for coming over. “Of course I am, I’ve been thinking about you since you left last week. I wanted to go after you the moment you disappeared from our sight. I even had my crow follow you to make sure you got home alright.” Her thumb was brushing your cheek bone, green eyes scanning every inch of your features. “That so?” Your voice was just above a whisper, hoarse with desire. Her gentle reassurance quickly had your doubt melting away, replacing it with the desire that had driven you to this point.
“Of course it’s so.” Obanai was standing in the doorway, his haori discarded somewhere out of your sight. “Mitsuri…and I… were concerned about you. You left quickly after all, you never gave us a chance to discuss things with you.” “Discuss things…?” You glanced between the two pillars. “Yes, a lot happened, you know. And you were scurrying out the door… I should say limping out the door…” Mitsuri shot him a look, one that had him throwing his hands in his defense. “…anyways. I didn’t take it easy on you, then you were quick to leave after. Would have been nice if you stuck around to at least assure me you enjoyed yourself. I may treat you like a dick but I’m not heartless.” He stepped into the room, making his way to the vanity table Mitsuri had set up. “So, before we do anything… Did you enjoy yourself last time? Anything you’d like to do differently this time?” He began to unwrap his bandages, Mitsuri’s hands gently guided you back to looking at her. “Well, y/n? Did you enjoy yourself?”
“I… of course I did. I mean I was a bit overwhelmed at first but… I enjoyed it a lot. I… wouldn't have you do anything differently… honestly.” Your eyes squeezed shut as you uttered the last words, finally admitting to yourself more so than them that you did, in fact, enjoy the rough treatment. “That’s good to hear, though it would have been better to hear it a week ago.” Mitsuri let go of your cheek as Obanai spoke, stepping away from you with a small smile. Your head turned to look at the serpent pillar, face growing warm as you observed his unmasked face. Even in the dull glow of the candle light his scars stuck out. His eyebrows raised subtly, as if he was surprised to see you staring. You looked away quickly, chewing on your inner cheek in a failed attempt at not being embarrassed for getting caught.
“Well, if we’re all on the same page… why don’t we give it another go?” Mitsuri was shouldering off her kimono as she spoke, an innocent smile plastered to her face as her breasts spilled out of the top. There was something almost comical about the way both you and Obanai’s eyes zeroed in on her breasts, as if she were dangling candy in front of a baby. “Y-yeah… another go sounds good…” your skin prickled with desire, hands coming down to pull at the belt that kept your kimono in place. You stood a little quicker than you intended, the garment falling apart half hazardously as you tried to shoulder it off. “Eager… how cute.” Mitsuri was in front of you a moment later, helping you tug the garments off as Obanai observed quietly as he did before.
He loved to let Mitsuri take the lead, obediently waiting for her green light to do as he pleased. He didn’t mind it in the slightest, especially not when he was watching two women undress each other. His arms came to cross over his chest again, falling to lean back against the wall. You took the opportunity to close the distance, crashing your lips to Mitsuri’s and swallowing the noises of surprise she made. Your hands found her breasts easily, kneading the soft flesh for a moment before you moved closer, pressing your chest to hers. The noises of approval, her hands on your bare waist as your kimono fell in a heap on the floor, every motion causing your confidence to soar. “…bed.” It was breathless, saliva connecting your lips even after separating.
You let her go, dropping back to your spot on the edge of the bed. “Perfect… Now lay back.” You did as she asked, propping yourself on your elbows to watch her bend down to toss both of your kimonos to the side. “Obanai… you’ll do as I ask, right?” Your gaze shifted between the two, the smile on his face was enough to make your heart skip. “Of course.” It was almost effortless, as if the two had discussed things prior to your arrival. “Good.” Mitsuri was crawling onto the bed a moment later, arms and legs caging you in as she smiled down at you. “Lay back fully, no need for you to be up at all.” Again, you did as she instructed, completely enthralled by her and her closeness. “You did such a good job last time, eating me out and such…” you swallowed, eyes widening as your hazy brain began connecting the dots.
“I want you to do it again… just a different position this time. If that’s alright?” You blinked a few times, “you’re asking if it's alright to sit on my face?” You needed to hear her say it, not just imply it. Mitsuri’s face warmed considerably at your bluntness. “That’s exactly what I’m asking.” Yet she didn’t miss a beat. “Then, yes. Absolutely it’s alright.” There was no point in hiding your eagerness, not when your entire body seemed to throb with the desire to please her… and to please yourself. “Good girl…” the sudden praise sent a shiver through you, hands reaching to find purchase on her thighs as she crawled further up your body. “Real quick before we start… one tap on my thigh signals that you’re doing good when I ask. Two taps means you need to pause… three means you can’t breathe and need me to get up. Simple enough?”
This was a new side of Mitsuri, a side that took charge when Obanai wasn’t in the mix just yet. You loved it. “Yes, that’s simple enough.” You swore you heard Obanai chuckle at your obedience. Then again you couldn’t be annoyed when Mitsuri’s cunt was just inches from your face. “Alright then…” you swallowed again, watching as Mitsuri pushed herself up one last time. Plush thighs caged your head, Mitsuri’s cunt was hovering just above your face now. “Sit… please.” You begged softly, all too eager to feel her soft thighs squeeze your head. Mitsuri chuckled softly but lowered herself down just as you asked. Your tongue darted out immediately, licking fat stripes up her folds until they were slick with your saliva. Your nails dug into the soft plush of her thighs, dragging her down further as you lapped at her entrance.
The angle itself caused your nose to bump her clit every few passes, but created the perfect position to edge her for a while. Soft noises escaped the woman above you, her hips rocking ever so slight against your eager tongue. You drew the first moan from her when you tilted just enough to graze her clit with your tongue. Her warmth was intoxicating, making you feel warm all over as you licked and sucked at her cunt. Tentatively you prodded her entrance, collecting the taste of her arousal on your tongue as her head fell back. “You’re so good at this…” the feeling of her hands threading through your hair sent you into overdrive, tongue moving even quicker against her dripping cunt. The longer you worked on her the more prominent the throb between your own legs became.
“Spread your legs for me, please…” she moaned softly, hand reaching back to tap the flesh of your thigh. You spread them effortlessly and without hesitation, shivering as your cunt was revealed to the cooler air of the room. You were wet, embarrassingly so at this point. After only a few minutes of eating her out, you were dripping and needy. You weren’t quite sure what she was planning, considering she went back to gripping your hair and moaning praises as you worked. You nearly forgot about it after a minute, especially as Mitsuri’s first orgasm hit her at full speed. “O-oh fuck…” she yelped, hips jerking agaisnt your unrelenting tongue until she pulled herself up just a bit. You could catch your breath for a moment before tugging her desperately back down… she wasn’t going to deny you after all.
You tilted your chin upwards again, angling yourself to lick and suck at her already sensitive clit. Her whimpers and moans were all you could hear over the muffling of her thighs caging your head. When you felt something wet and warm on your own cunt, it came as a complete surprise. The noise that left you proved it, Mitsuri’s laughter following. “Don’t worry… it’s just Obanai.” You figured that much but the realization that his tongue was on your pussy was enough to freeze you up for a moment, mind drawing a blank. You tapped twice, shock causing you to need a moment so you could gasp for air. Mitsuri lifted herself, smiling down at you as Obanai’s hands gripped the flesh of your thighs, keeping them spread. “Don’t tell me you can’t handle this…” Obanai’s mouth was hovering your cunt, eyes trailing over your breasts and further up to taken in Mitsuri’s ass and back. “You caught her by surprise.”
Mitsuri spoke for you, rather likely the way your pupils seemed to dilate in response. Obanai made a noise of disinterest before lowering again, tongue slipping between your folds to prod at your clit. A shaky gasp left you, body feeling so warm you swore you’d melt into a puddle. You dragged Mitsuri back down, needing to feel her weight back on you. It was almost comforting in an odd way. You lapped at her cunt the best you could, a wet mess of your saliva and her arousal covered your chin. All the while Obanai was teasing your entrance with one finger, mouth suctioned to your aching clit. He was relentless, just like last time, not giving you any moment to adjust by starting off rough and fast.
You could already feel the familiar tension building, everything was too much, making you too sensitive. The moment he curled that one finger your thighs shook, but it wasn’t enough to push you over the edge. He knew that, which is why he kept doing it. The goosebumps that prickled your skin were a dead giveaway to him. So he didn’t adjust whatsoever, instead he dangled your orgasm right out of your reach. Every thrust of his finger had arousal dripping out of you, wetter and wetter as his saliva covered your cunt. You tried your best to keep up, the awkward angle making it a bit hard to do exactly what you wanted.
So, you tapped her thigh twice. “You okay?” She cooed softly, chest heaving as she had been just seconds away from coming a second time. “Yeah but…” you moaned as Obanai added a second finger, laughing softly at your reaction. “Can you turn around? Sit on my face the other direction.” It would be much easier for you if she could do that. “Oh? Sure…” Mitsuri moved herself around, locking eyes with Obanai as she did. He pulled away from your cunt, mouth and chin shining with your arousal. “Hey pretty.” You sucked in a breath, not used to the tender voice he was using with her.
Mitsuri giggled softly, moving backwards until she was hovering over your face again. Obanai watched, two fingers still knuckle deep and scissoring you open. You dragged Mitsuri down again, lips suction to her clit and sucking. “O-oh!” Mitsuri nearly fell forward, the new intensity bringing her right back to the brink of her second orgasm. “O-Obanai… can I?” His eyes shifted from her face to where your mouth was. After a second he connected the dots. “By all means, pretty.” You had no idea what was going on above and below you, too focused on getting her to cum a second time. Your chest seemed to freeze, breath sucked straight from your lungs as you felt Mitsuri’s body press to yours.
A second later you felt what was undeniably her tongue, not Obanai’s. The realization along with the sensation was almost dizzying. Obanai’s fingers resumed their normal pace as he watched Mitsuri eat you out instead of him. This time there was no edging, no teasing, Mitsuri was determined to bring you over the edge the same time you bought her over it. Which wouldn’t be hard at all considering how worked up you’d been due to Obanai’s stingy attitude. There was something incredibly lewd about the sight before him, maybe it was the sounds… no it was definitely the sounds… that were getting him the most.
Your pussy was squelching with each thrust of his fingers, walls suctioning to them as if you were trying to hold onto him. There were also the noises you were both making, the moans, the sound of wet tongues sliding along each other’s most sensitive parts… he cursed under his breath. His pants were far too tight, even though he had discarded his uniform top his skin was way too warm. He withdrew his fingers a moment later, placing his hand back on your other thigh to keep you spread. Your arousal smeared across your skin where his fingers gripped you, if you weren’t so occupied you would have complained about his withdrawal.
Obanai, however, had other plans. He watched Mitsuri for a moment longer before ducking his own head back down. The love pillar seemed a bit surprised as his head brushed hers, it only took a moment to understand what he was after. The angle was a bit awkward but he managed to fit his face down where Mitsuri couldn’t reach. While she was busy sucking on your clit, Obanai began fucking you with his tongue. Now your mind was really going hazy, your tongue’s eagerness halting all together as you simply forgot how to breathe. It was almost too much, too much warmth, too much stimulation… way too lewd for you to handle when Mitsuri was sitting snugly on your face.
You ached to see it, letting your imagination run wild with the ideas of what the two pillars looked like as they ate you out. Mitsuri took the initiative to begin rocking her hips against you, needing to reach her own release a second time. Especially since it was so close, she couldn’t let you leave her hanging again. Mitsuri’s gasp sent you spiraling, orgasm washing over you so intensely that you couldn’t help but cry out against her cunt as she came with you. After a few seconds, Mitsuri pushed herself off of you, falling to a heap right beside you on the bed. Obanai pulled away, taking the opportunity to stand and begin undoing the belt of his pants.
He looked over both of you, chests heaving as you tried to calm down. “Don’t tell me you’ve both worn yourselves out.” there was a small bit of relief as the restriction of his uniform fell off of him. He wiped his mouth of your arousal, watching as Mitsuri pushed herself up to look down at you. “S-still with us?” You nodded, hands rubbing your face to get rid of the shine. “Y-yeah… fuck.” Mitsuri smiled, different from her others, lazier. It sent your heart into a frenzy. “Do you wanna lay this way instead? It’ll be easier for what I want to do next.” You did as she asked, moving to lay on the bed regularly rather than sprawling across it.
“W-what exactly do you have in mind.” You had come to the conclusion that the two pillars must have discussed things at some point. Given the fact that Obanai wasn’t raising any questions, instead giving Mitsuri full reigns to do as she pleased for the time being. “Don’t worry, you get to relax for this. I’ll be doing all the work.” You let her move your legs, spreading them wide to reveal your cunt again. You watched her curiously, turning her body to hook one of your legs under her own. It took a moment but you quickly realized what she was doing yet again. “I-oh… I see…”
Your hands found purchase in their bedsheets, a terrible attempt at grounding yourself as Mitsuri slotted her cunt against yours. “I heard that this is supposed to be pretty fun.” She commented offhandedly, rocking her hips against yours. It was warm, slick enough that her hips gilded easily. Obanai studied you particularly closely, watching as you angled yourself better to aid Mitsuri. It was a bit addicting, watching the two of you fumble around. He would gladly let Mitsuri try all of the things she didn’t get to last time, but there was only so long he could wait before needing to put you back in your place.
The throbbing was only getting worse, but Obanai was a man of patience, he could resist his own temptation in order to really take it out on you. He’d never admit it to your face, but he’d been thinking about you just as often as Mitsuri had been. He was eagerly waiting for you to come crawling back, begging for more, just as Mitsuri hoped you would. Though she worded it far nicer than he ever could.
“Do you think she’s alright…” Mitsuri sighed, clinging to Obanai’s arm a moment later as you finally disappeared from their sight. “She’s fine, she’ll likely walk off the limp by the end of the day.” The dissatisfied sigh that left the woman beside him was enough for him to know that’s not what she meant. “You were really rough on her, I’ve never seen you act like that in the bedroom.” Obanai knew that was coming, though for the first time in a long time he didn’t feel like explaining himself on the matter.
“If she didn’t like it, she would have asked me to stop.” Silence fell between the two as they stood in the doorway of their estate. He really wished you hadn’t run off so quickly, there were far too many questions that they wanted answers to. “Should I go visit her tomorrow?” Obanai shook his head, taking a step back and pulling Mitsuri along with him as they entered their estate once more. “Leave her be for now. If she wants to, she’ll come back when she’s ready.” Mitsuri didn’t seem satisfied with that answer but decided to leave it alone.
“Mitsuri, you’ll have us here for hours at this rate.” Obanai was moving onto the bed, you realized that at some point he had discarded all of his clothing. You’d been much too busy with Mitsuri to even notice. “B-but… it’s so…” she huffed, the tingling remnants of an orgasm hovering just out of her reach. “It’s frustrating, that’s what it is.” He was moving behind her, hands trailing up her sides. “See, you’re even breaking a sweat, pretty girl.” His tone was enough to make you look away, for some reason it felt more intimate than the position you and Mitsuri were in.
“I-I’m so… close just give us a minute.” Mitsuri’s hips swiveled against yours quicker, whining softly as Obanai’s hands made it to her breasts. You glanced at her again, one hand reaching forward in hopes of her coming closer. She caught on, breaking away from her boyfriend to crash her lips to yours. For a moment, Obanai was reminded of the fact that this was likely still a competition in your eyes. Essentially being ignored for this long was finally getting on his nerves. He was more than willing to let Mitsuri have her fun, but your sly little tricks to keep Mitsuri away from him… he was at his wits end. “You’re not as subtle as you think.” You knew it was directed at you, that alone had you smiling into her hungry kiss.
Obanai clicked his tongue, moving to pull Mitsuri back towards him. “C’mon now, you’ve had your fun…” he cooed as she gasped, her third orgasm of the night hitting her as she fell into him. You were dazed, Obanai had pulled her away just before you were able to cum. “Remember what we talked about?” You watched them intently, pushing yourself up into a sitting position with your legs still tangled in her’s. “I-I Sorta do.” Obanai chuckled, motioning for Mitsuri to sit up by the pillows. “You’ll remember better in a minute.” He let her go, watching as she untangled herself from you.
With Mitsuri out of the way, you were left on full display for Obanai. Nothing was separating him from you now, especially as Mitsuri settled just behind you on the mattress. “I’d like to think that we’ve been lingering in your mind.” the comment had scrunching your nose, not quite seeing where he was taking this. “Tell me, have you touched yourself thinking about us?” your legs immediately wanted to snap shut as his eyes dragged over your glistening cunt. “I haven’t actually… couldn’t satisfy myself in the way you both did.” It tumbled past your lips despite your body’s natural reaction to shrink away.
Obanai seemed pleased with that answer, hand wrapping around the base of his neglected cock, finally giving it a small bit of attention. “Hmm? That’s just what I wanted to hear.” he chuckled softly, breathier than normal as he stroked himself slowly. “How pathetic you must have looked…felt…nothing but your fingers and it still did nothing for you.” He ruined you, so did Mitsuri. If you had the capacity to think of anything outside of the two of them at this given moment… You’d be wondering how you’d go on with your life after this came to an end. “Probably sounded pathetic too…” you weren’t sure what made you want to feed into his narrative, but the red coating his cheeks as he spoke to you made you want to see him crumble.
“Hmm? Why’s that?” Mitsuri spoke for you, hands coming up to run through your disheveled hair with her eyes locked on Obanai’s fist. “Couldn’t stop whining… it was frustrating you know… kept thinking about the two of you…” Obanai inhaled sharply, torn between wanting to put you in your place and ease your previous frustrations. Though he couldn’t understand why he was even torn in the first place… that was a thought for later. “Oh? I’d that’s the case why don’t you tell me how badly you want this.” He motioned to his cock, head tilting and eager to hear what you would say.
“Haven’t I given you enough? Or would you rather I fuck your girlfriend again to prove it?” Mitsuri suppressed a giggle, shifting herself so your head was in her lap. Leaning her weight on her free hand, she continued to stroke your hair. Obanai huffed out a humorless laugh, “You’re still a fucking pain.” You yelped as he suddenly grabbed your ankles, holding them as tightly. “Mitsuri, remember now?” Obanai’s tone changed as he spoke to her, purposely ignoring your wide eyes. “Yeah, I believe I do.” Her fingers left your hair, trailing down to your arm and stopping when she reached your wrist.
You glanced up at her, watching as she found herself a new position and reached for your other wrist. Now, she sat behind you, head on her lap and legs tucked neatly underneath herself. She brought your wrists together slowly, holding them in a gentle grip that you knew you wouldn’t be able to escape from even if you wanted to. “Good job.” Obanai cooed as he moved closer, shifting his grip from your ankles to your calves as he pushed your legs towards your chest. “Mitsuri wanted me to take it easier on you this time around, she’d like me to be gentle with you…” now, he fully pressed your legs to your chest, forcing you into an awkward position, one you couldn’t move from. “I told her no.”
You swallowed, being completely restrained sent a chill down your spine, the second orgasm you’d been denied of only moments prior was prickling your skin. That familiar throb returned, aching so deeply it was as if you never came in the first place. Obanai angled himself, pressing the dull head of his cock to your weeping entrance, no assistance needed. “You don’t mind, right? You like when I use you like a fuck toy… it’s why you came back, yeah?” You would say or agree to anything in that moment, especially with the way he was shallowly thrusting against you, teasing you by not entering at all.
“C’mon…I won’t do anything till you tell me I’m right…” he pressed his hips forward, the head of his cock splitting you open. You inhaled sharply, hands flexing in Mitsuri’s grasp as you sought for something to ground you. “Y-yes… fuck you… seriously… but yes. Use me… please just fucking—“ Obanai cut you off, pressing his hips forward and bottoming out immediately, watching intently as you squealed and squirmed from the sudden intrusion. Your eyes had squeezed shut, lips trembling as you tried to steady your breathing. You were wet enough that bottoming out within a second hadn’t hurt but the stretch had certainly taken your breath away.
“Ah, Obanai…” Mitsuri’s brows were creased with worry, easily switching both of your wrists to one hand so she could caress your cheek with the other. “She can take it.” He spoke through gritted teeth, heart thumping wildly as your walls spasmed and suctioned to him. Maybe he had neglected himself a little too much during you and Mitsuri’s foreplay. He could feel himself throbbing, threatening already to spill a load deep inside of you. It pissed him off to no end, especially since he had no intentions of cumming in you. He still didn’t think you were quite ready for that yet, he still didn’t think you deserved it. “Can you?” Mitsuri’s question caught both of you off guard, your eyes flying wide to stare up at Mitsuri before moving to stare at Obanai who was hovering over you.
“Oh? You’re picking up on her sharp tongue, aren’t you, pretty girl.” Obanai chuckled, though you could tell it was a bit strained. He hadn’t moved yet, the grip on your legs would likely leave bruises. It thrilled you. Mitsuri sighed, thumb still rubbing along your cheek as she gripped your wrists together. “Just seems like you’re trying not to cum, Obanai.” You didn’t think she had it in her, her voice had taken on a sultry undertone, different from the breathy whines she bestowed upon you. “Watch it…” he gritted out, face bright red as his eyes squeezed shut.
He hadn’t expected Mitsuri to defend you… though he couldn’t say that he didn’t enjoy seeing her do so. “Well? Is her pussy that good?” You swore you were dreaming, that’s what it is, you were dreaming right? You never would have thought Mitsuri was capable of talking in such a way. Obanai seemed a bit hesitant, as if she were testing him by asking. “I’m serious, it’s not like I have the ability to feel it the way you do…” it clicked, she was a bit envious. “I mean I know how good it feels from the outside… but inside… ahh I wish I could know! Tell me please, Obanai.”
For a moment your eyes locked, you and Obanai sharing the same look of disbelief as Mitsuri rambled on. It took him a moment to collect himself, he had gotten passed the point of nearly coming but now he needed to wrap his brain around everything Mitsuri had said. “I…uhm…good… it feels good.” He swallowed, looking up at Mitsuri through his lashes. “Ah that’s not good enough! Describe it to me…” she whined softly, the feeling making your entire body squirm. You needed him to move, if not you were convinced you’d lose your mind being stuffed so full while listening to them speak in such a way about you.
“It’s…shit… it’s warm…” it was a slow start, just as slow as he dragged his hips backwards before pushing in again. The fraction of a movement, barely there but enough to have you gritting your teeth. “C’mon Obanai… you can do better than that…” Mitsuri sighed “you could also do better if you moved.” She had a disappointing tone, as if upset Obanai wasn’t doing as she asked of him. That seemed to be enough to jumpstart his brain…and his hips… as he gasped. Legs still pressed to your chest, he used them for leverage as he pulled nearly all the way out before slamming back into you.
A loud, shaking moan slipped past your lips as he repeated the process, pistoning his hips until you couldn’t see straight. “I’m waiting…” she mewled softly, watching your face contorted in pleasure while Obanai seemed to be biting his tongue. “It’s…” he groaned as your walls suctioned and spasmed around him, your cunt was good, too good even, and it irked him to no end. Admitting that out loud just may kill him, but disappointing Mitsuri seemed like a far worse fate to face. “It’s good…fuck it’s so wet.”
You inhaled sharply, skin prickling with sweat as he spoke. Your pain was fully outweighed by the pleasure, though you were certain your body would be sore after. “It’s tight too, hot and wet and tight…soft…” his hips stuttered as he lost control over his words, taking only a moment before he found his rhythm again. “And it’s still undeserving of my cock.” He gritted out, looking you in the eye now without any embarrassment. “It’s the pussy of a little fucking whore.” The smile was strained, but it sent a shrill of arousal through your entire body, walls fluttering uncontrollably.
“Oh…” she cooed softly, urging him to keep going as your moans turned to cries. Tears burned your eyes, clit throbbing and neglected as he continued to pound into you. You couldn’t even figure out where the tears had come from, but that didn’t matter one bit. Not when Obanai’s pupils seemed to drown out the color of his eyes, completely enthralled by the wet streams running towards your temples. He wanted to see them streak your face, the same way they did when he shoved his cock so far down your throat… “What a little whore… mad that I won’t make you my cum dumpster?”
He chuckled, hips meeting your body particularly hard, dragging an unrestrained yelp from you. “Answer me or I won’t move.” Mitsuri was quietly hypnotized by the scene playing out right before her, cunt throbbing with needy desire. She couldn’t tell who she wanted to be more… Obanai was never this rough with her but she’d give anything to experience you the way he was right now.
“Obanai…” you whined softly, his own name coming from your lips caught him by surprise. “Please…” you didn’t even know what you were asking for, uttering the words in hope that he’d somehow decipher it. “Obanai… kiss her.” Mitsuri instructed softly, the tears leaking from your eyes never slowed. Obanai stopped for a minute, teasing you by only leaving half of his length inside.
“Kiss her? Why should I do that?” He hadn’t kissed you ever, not last time and you assumed he wouldn’t this time. “Because I want you to… I’m sure she wants you to… you want to.” Mitsuri’s face was flushed, pupils dilated and eyes filled with need. Obanai couldn’t say no when she looked like that. You watched him, chest heaving as you sniffled, waiting for him to act. Obanai shifted more of his weight onto you, hands gripping your legs so intensely you were certain there would be bruises for a while. His hips pushed into you again, just as his lips crashed to yours. It was sloppy, a mess of teeth and tongue.
You cried into the kiss, the new closeness allowed you the tiniest bit of friction for your aching clit. Each thrust had his hips slapping into yours, abdomen pressing to your lower half just as tightly. Obanai seemed to lose himself a bit, kissing you so deeply you forgot how to breathe. He parted a moment later, head ducking to bury itself in your neck as he bit down on the sensitive skin. You yelped, body flinching as his teeth threatened to break your skin. “There…” he pulled away, admiring the deep indents of his teeth.
Mitsuri watched as your lips met his again, the bed shaking with the force of his thrusts. She had to wonder how he was holding up so well, considering he was seconds away from falling apart after entering you. Though, maybe that offhand thought had jinxed him. Obanai’s thrusts turned sloppy, he was convinced he could last long enough to pull out of you right when the timing was right. It wouldn’t be that hard, he’s done it before.
Yet you continued to prove him wrong, walls tightening like a vice around his cock, pulling his orgasm straight through him. He gasped into your mouth, pure shock as he dragged his hips out of you, spurting the rest of his release on your cunt. Though, it had been too late, some of his cum had been released deep inside of you. His face was bright red, a look of shock on all three of your faces as his lips parted from yours. The room was quiet save for your ragged breathing, you couldn’t quite believe that he had messed up. Though it drew a cocky smile up your tired face, “I-I thought you weren’t gonna give me your cum… thought I wasn’t good enough…” you glanced up a Mitsuri, her eyes locked on your cum covered cunt.
Obanai couldn’t meet your eyes for a moment, he too was watching his own release slip out of your fluttering hole. “Mitsuri…” his voice was low, the grip on your legs finally loosening enough for you to relax them a bit. “Hmm?” She was hiding a smile, wishing he would have dumped the whole load in. “You’re going to fix this.” He moved away from you entirely, dick still twitching with need despite coming. “Fix it?” She let go of your wrists, watching as you managed to stretch while keeping your legs spread in order to not smear his cum. “Yes, you’re going to clean her up… with your mouth.” Obanai had made enough room for Mitsuri to take his place, hand wrapping around his cock tightly.
“And you’re going to make up for it.” You watched him motion towards his cock before meeting her eyes again. “You caused this, after all.” You blinked, watching Mitsuri move without hesitation, settling below you on her stomach, ass in the air for him. “H-how’d Mitsuri cause this?” You yelped as the pink haired woman dragged her nails over your thighs, hands kneading the squishy flesh before dragging you closer. “Doesn’t matter, but seeing that she’s complying so easily, she knows I’m right.” Mitsuri only chuckled, tongue licking up your thigh. You couldn’t complain, not when you still felt a cocky sense of pride over what happened.
Instead of cleaning you up like he instructed, Mitsuri used two fingers to collect the rest of his release. You gasped as she plunged both fingers inside, forcing more of his cum in you. Obanai watched with parted lips, hand coming to knead the flesh of Mitsuri’s ass before lining his cock up with her entrance. “She really is rubbing off on you, you’re usually so obedient.” Mitsuri hummed before moving her mouth to hover over your clit, looking at you with a small smile. “I’ve come to see why y/n finds it so fun to mess with you… you’re pretty hot when you’re mad and embarrassed.” Her mouth met your clit a moment later, tongue lapping at it.
Obanai scoffed, rosy blush on his cheeks as he pressed his hips forward. Even when mad, he still managed to take things easy on her. At least… easier than he did with you. Mitsuri’s stuttering breath had your head tilting back, the orgasm that had been dangled out of your reach that whole time was now in your grasp. Sloppy and uneven thrusts forced Mitsuri’s mouth against your cunt in various amounts of pressure. The tension in your gut building with each struggling suck and lick as Obanai’s hips met her ass with each thrust. “Gonna cum again?” He was seething, yet perfectly able to control himself when it came to Mitsuri.
“Fuck…yes…” you slurred out, walls twitching around her fingers as she messily plunged them in and out of you. You came crashing down around her, a loud breathless moan escaping your lips as your body arched off the mattress. Mitsuri whined, losing balance as your body moved away from her. Obanai watched both of you in fascination, yet he was not willing to let himself get distracted like he did before. That’s why he blamed Mitsuri, asking him to kiss you had fully thrown him off. He had become so engulfed in you that he didn’t even recognize the warning signs until he was already diving head first off of the cliff.
His hips moved in a hasty rhythm, the flesh of Mitsuri’s ass rippling each time he moved forward. It was addicting, just as addicting as to it fucked out expression as you tried to sit yourself up. “Don’t run off now…hah…I’m not done yet.” Obanai fixed you in place with a hard glare, your eyes immediately shifting down to the mumbling and drooling mess below you. Mitsuri was on the brink of another orgasm, at this point she had lost count of how many she had. The only thought ringing through her mind was how well both of you treated her. “Y/n… Obanai…” you it names left her in a struggling mantra, drunk off of both of your bodies.
“Come for me, pretty girl… I know you want to.” Sweat was dripping down his temple, abdomen going taut as he tried to hold himself back. He had other plans in mind, he refused to come until he was able to achieve them. You, on the other hand, moved forward, body feeling like gelatin as you moved towards him. Obanai’s eyebrow cocked, watching as you struggled to move to the opposite end of Mitsuri. You nearly collapsed into him, watching as the pink haired woman squashed her cheek into the mattress, no longer able to support herself.
“Here…come for us please…” your hand snaked lower, finding her clit and rubbing it quickly. Overstimulation nearly overpowered her pleasure as a high pitched shriek left her, her final orgasm ripping through her body as a gush of warm liquid splattered Obanai, your hand and the sheets below. “Holy shit…” you croaked as she fell limply against the mattress, pulling Obanai out of her in the process. “Fucking filthy…” Obanai sneered, as he looked at you. “Get on your knees.” He ordered a moment later, cock wet and shining from Mitsuri’s release.
You nearly fell off of the bed, knees hitting the wooden floor unceremoniously. You knew what was coming next, it sent a shrill of arousal through you as he got off of the bed with you. “Open your mouth… though from the looks of it you know what’s coming, don’t you? You little whore.” Your mouth parted, tongue sticking out as he grabbed your cheeks with his free hand. As excited as you were, you still clinched when a glob of his spit landed on your tongue. “Be a good little whore and swallow like you did last time.” You did, mouth shutting and reopening a moment later.
“Atta girl…” the praise nearly had you melting. Mitsuri watched from the mattress, too worn out to even lift her head, never mind moving to help you. Obanai, as ruthless as ever, shoved his cock down your throat in a similar fashion to last time. You choked, embarrassingly loud as tears burned your eyes again. He hit the back of your throat, hand grabbing a fistful of your hair to drag you along his length. The taste of bitter precum mixed with Mitsuri’s release, the force of his tugging making you see stars. Your hands scrambled to find his legs, nails scratching the delicate skin of his thighs as you tried to steady your breathing.
Your nose brushed his pubic bone, body tensing as he held you in place. You looked upwards through wet lashes, watching a smirk creep up his face. The scars on his cheeks only lengthened it, he reminded you of a snake. You had the urge to call him beautiful again, though it would be quite difficult to do so at the moment. You forced your jaw to relax, seeing that he had no intentions of pulling out just yet. “You’re such an addictive pain in the ass… I mean really.” He pulled your hair a little tighter, watching as tears slipped down your cheeks. Sick satisfaction bubbled in his gut as your eyes turned glossy.
He let you go a moment later, allowing you a second to breathe properly before shoving himself back down. “I’ve never met someone so infuriating…ha…yet so fucking intoxicating. To the point I actually miss your presence.” You made a noise of surprise, watching his head fall back as your throat vibrated. “T-that shocks you hmm? I figured it would…shit…ya know I’m really trying, Mitsuri.” His eyes shot over to her, her eyes lidded with sleep as she watched. “She was so persistent about me being nicer to you… easier…” his hips began thrusting back and forth, building in tempo slowly.
“I think you can take it though, I think you enjoy being used as a fuck toy.” He slammed his hips down, earning another harsh gag from you as drool dripped down your chin. Your tongue lathered the underside of his cock, throat constricting as you swallowed the best you could around him. It didn’t help the saliva running down your chin and neck, dribbling onto your chest as Obanai had his way with you. “Cmon now…” his hand hit your cheek a couple times, pulling your attention back to him. “You enjoy it, don’t you?” this time you hummed something similar to a yes, throat vibrating around him once again. He was going to cum, he knew he was, but he was torn.
Come down your throat or see how pathetic you look with your face covered in it. He was already familiar with the satisfaction that came with the ladder, seeing your face covered was all too appealing. Not willing to fuck up again, the hand in your hair tightened to keep you in place as he retreated from your mouth all together. “Be a good little bitch and keep your mouth open…tongue out.” You watched with blurry vision as he pumped himself with his free hand. Your saliva clung to him, allowing his fist to glide rapidly. “You got lucky.. Lucky that Mitsuri distracted me. This time…fuck… this time it’s my way.”
It took a few more pumps for Obanai to spill himself all over your face. Sticky white painted your mouth, chin, chest and even your cheeks. Eyes squeezing shut in fear of getting it where you’d prefer you didn’t. The sight itself was nothing short of filthy, paired with the shaking whines of the man fisting your hair, it was enough to make Mitsuri squirm, head turning to look away. Obanai let go once his orgasm had died down, nothing but labored breathing filled the room as you tried to collect your wits. “Are you alright?” Obanai’s voice was quiet, face flushed and sweaty as he dropped down to your level. You swallowed, “Y..yeah…a wet cloth would be nice though…”
“Of course… get on the bed and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back.” Mitsuri was pushing herself up, scooting to lay her head on one of the pillows. “Ahh y/n-chan, come lay beside me. You’re not running away from us again.” You pushed yourself up as Obanai disappeared from the room, making your way over to the bed and nearly collapsing onto the sheets. The only thing stopping you was the fear of making a mess… granted the sheets already needed to be changed due to Mitsuri. “Run away? I slept here last time too.” You chuckled softly as she rolled over. “Yes, but you still ran away the morning after. You’re not allowed to do that this time!”
“That so? How come.” you teased softly, trying to ignore the fluttering in your chest. “We have a lot to discuss, but I’m far too tired… you are too.” You opened your mouth but no words came out, “Mitsuri, you’re doing it again. You make it seem like we’re going to execute her or something. Don’t fill her head with useless worries or she’ll never fall asleep.” Obanai entered the room, wet cloth and new sheets in hand. He had also taken the time to throw on a kimono, as if trying to be modest after what you had just done. You let him clean your face, hands gentle as he wiped away his mess. It was probably the gentlest he’d ever touched you.
“Sorry…I guess that’s true.” Mitsuri slurred, already falling asleep. “G’night Mitsuri.” you laughed softly, eyes glancing over Obanai’s face. “We’ll change the bedding in the morning. You can bathe then as well, we have clothing you’d like if you’d allow us to wash the clothing you came in.” He was motioning you backwards, pulling a pillow to place under your head. “Oh… thank you…I don’t mean to be a nuisance.” he scoffed, shouldering off the clothing he had put on once again. “Stop saying things like that. We want you here, y/n.” You snorted, “You’ve called me a pain multiple times.” He climbed in beside you, the gentle snores signaling that Mitsuri had fallen asleep already.
“That’s because you are. But that’s not a bad thing… I assume you see me as a pain as well.” He sighed, settling comfortably on his back. “Oh absolutely… you’re just a bit insufferable… though I can’t say you don’t fuck me good.” You hummed, ignoring the burn in your cheeks as you shifted onto your side, back facing him. “Glad we’re on the same page… now get some sleep. Mitsuri and I have some things to talk about in the morning with you… so don’t try and run off like last time.” You huffed softly, muttering out a soft “fine” as sleep tugged at you. You could sleep easier when they were with you, warmth on each side, lulling you to sleep.
The third and final part of this little series will be I Always Do It Better
I plan on working on it and posting it hopefully some time this summer… definitely don’t intend on making y’all wait over a year again lmfao. I hope you enjoyed this part!! - May
#kny#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer imagines#demon slayer fanfic#demon slayer headcanons#demon slayer smut#hashira#demon slayer fluff#mitsuri x iguro#mitsuri x you#mitsuri x obanai#kanroji mitsuri#kimetsu mitsuri#mitsuri x y/n#mitsuri x obanai x reader#mitsuri smut#obanai smut#obanai x reader#obanai x y/n#obanai x you#kny smut#kny mitsuri#kny obanai#kny fanfic#xxsabitoxx’s work!
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'good for me' tighnari
you always saw something special in tighnari, which also meant you were willing to do anything for him. but what if your desires are reflected right back to you?
tags! praise, desk fucking, penetration, mutual pining, consensual, half clothed sex, self indulgent, my immature self ( i cant take this seriously 💀 ), female reader
tighnari scanned the papers with narrowed eyes, his mind taking in every word and data written onto the stack of research. you felt your heart beat nervously.
he smiled. “yep. these look good. thank you for always helping us out, y/n.”
you felt relief wash over your body as he organized the papers and placed them on his desk. “it’s really nothing, i’ll always be able to be at your assistance sir tighnari.” you said while returning his smile. his eyes soften. “i’m glad to hear that. you may go now.”
he watches as you left the hut, leaving just him and his thoughts; specifically, the image of your gentle smile followed by your sweet voice saying his name. it made him feel all giddy and sweet inside.
“tighnari…” the forest ranger mumbled out, playing your voice in his head like a broken record. his tail swished around in satisfaction.
i should continue offering these errands for her…
it was the third time tighnari has asked you to either run a personal request or pair up with him for patrols this week. you watched every step you took towards tighnaris hut with pots of various plants in your arms. you couldn’t help but wonder what caused him to always be searching for you throughout the day.
not that you really minded though. who wouldn’t resist being in the aid of the chief officer of the forest rangers ? he was truly everything good put into a single being. whether it was his intelligence or stern yet caring words that spoke out of his mouth, you always felt your admiration for him grow day by day.
perhaps something stronger than admiration was blooming as well.
as you knocked the door that led to his home, tighnari promptly opened it with his usual faint smile. you welcomed yourself in and sat on a chair next to him.
“you know y/n, you’re always doing such a great job with these requests. it’s truly a big help to have you here.” tighnari praised you diligently. he viewed the plants closely, his ears flickering in curiosity. you flushed at his compliment.
“once again, it’s my pleasure sir.”
“still, i’m very glad that you are able to volunteer your time for this. after all, you already work so hard as a member of the rangers.” he commented. you felt your cheeks growing hot, did you always feel this way when people praised you ?
you avert his gaze in hopes that it’ll make your anxiety leave. it simply continues to grow when he gently reaches over to remove something from your face with his gloved fingers.
“sorry- there was something on your face. it must’ve been from when you were outside.”
his touch made you feel so vulnerable, you realize. you can’t stop your heartbeat from running a literal marathon or the embarrassing feeling in between your legs.
the plants on the table are placed away to the side, and tighnari neatly shoved the papers away from your view. he seemed distracted, to your relief; just when you thought you were able to hide your nervousness from tighnari, he looks at you with a smile.
“did you know that most breeds of foxes can hear from 100 feet away ? which means that also applies to me, a human hybrid of a fennec fox. we also have heightened sense of smell-”
there was surely no way tighnari was lecturing you about his own breed while you sat there practically begging him to touch you. he continued his rant, but you were unable to focus. just as you were beginning to space out, tighnari leans closer to whisper something into your ear.
“which means i can hear your heart beating excessively fast right now…” he mumbles. “... and your scent is all that's filling my brain…”
you swear you're an embarrassed mess by now, his words going straight from your head to your stomach. you gently push him away in fear that you won’t hold yourself back any longer. “sir- you’re teasing me too much.”
“just call me tighnari from now.”
he’s gentle, but the starved glint glazing his eyes tell you otherwise. his fingers reached to tuck a strand of h/c hair to the back of your ear and he’s inching closer, his hot breath against the nape of your neck.
it was a blessing nobody was watching the scene unfold. the chief of the forest rangers, making such arousing actions towards their own pupil. anticipation is bubbling to the very tip of your chest.
“be obedient and listen to me, will you ?” he asks smoothly and you nod a little too quick for your own liking. he gestures you to get up, making you face the table. “are you sure you’re okay with this ?”
“yeah.” you heave out. that’s all the more tighnari needs to place one hand on your hips and the other on your back. he gently pushes you down to the table.
“then allow me…”
you were pressed against the desk, your back facing tighnari. his hands went up and down your clothed back before reaching over to undo your pants, playing with the hem of your underwear. you could feel a hard buldge pressing against the thin fabric that was starting to dampen.
as he started to suckle on your neck and you unconsciously began to grind your hips against his boner. his sharp canines dug into your skin, eliciting a small whine from your lips.
this felt all too real. your hot boss bending you over while you shamelessly rut yourself into him like it’s the best opportunity ever given to you. he’s growling back sinful moans, attempting to control himself.
“i’ve been watching you, and you’re always doing such a good job for me.” tighnari whispers into your ear. he quickly removes his gloves, fingers slowly stroking your drenched panties.
“tighnari please…”
he removes your underwear, the smell of your arousal feeding into his desires. it’s so addicting, he wishes that he could have you all to himself, the way you whined and blushed under his touch.
two fingers are slipped into your hole. in embarrassment, you attempt to hide your pleasured moans, the ranger chuckles in response. “don’t hold back from me. don’t you wanna be a good girl and show me how good it feels ?” he asks while fucking his fingers deep inside of you. “tell me, how long have you been waiting for this ? you always seemed so nervous around me, and it just makes me want you even more.” he confesses. you let out a lewd moan. “since forever- ah, tighnari-”
he’s awfully good at what he was doing. the way he curved his fingers that hit the spot had you rolling your eyes to the back of your head. his pace is perfect and before you know it, you feel a heat in your stomach reaching its climax.
“ah ! tighnari i’m gonna…” you can’t finish your words." he nibbles on your ears teasingly. “you’re gonna cum ?” you nod quickly before cumming all over his fingers while still being a panting mess. he hums in satisfaction.
“that’s a good girl. don’t worry, i’m not done with you yet.” you can hear him unbuckle his pants. you’re already a sweating mess, and the thought of tighnari ramming his cock into you made you even more flushed.
he presses his dick against you and you realize how big he was. hell, you didn’t even dare to look back to see if your assumption was true. “tighnari it’s so big. will it even fit ?” you mumble.
“don’t worry, i’m sure you can take it all.” he responds, kissing your neck eagerly. his words were just too sweet to resist, and before you know it, he’s got you twirled around his finger.
you suck in a deep breath as he slowly inserts himself inside your throbbing hole. he was gentle, making sure not to hurt you in any way. inch by inch, he settles inside your gummy walls; and he swears that the image of you looking like this is enough to get him cumming.
“that’s my pretty girl.”
the word ‘my’ go through your head, and his praises make you clench around him unconsciously, your walls gripping onto his dick. he groans, “fuck… you’re making me so close already.”
the thrusts start off slow and steady. his hands are secured on your hip as he begins to rut into you deeper and faster. you squirm. lewd sounds of his dick fucking you in and out echoes through the room; you swear his desk could break any moment.
“t-tighnari… it feels so good !”
he’s panting and moaning into your ear as pleasure vibrates from all over your body. despite the fact that your hips are clothed, you swore his grip would bloom red bruises over your waist. the rolling of his hips into yours made you starstruck.
his dick reaches the same spot that pleased you the most. your voice gets louder as he continues to fuck you in that soft spot. “ah ! right there !” your legs are shaking and your eyes are rolled back, mouth hung wide open with erotic sounds exiting your vocal chords.
sticky liquid coats his dick and dribbles down to the wooden ground. the sound is so sticky and the smell of sex is heavy in the room.
“come on, just a bit more, ‘m close too.” he’s practically begging you as he continues to fuck himself into you. the feeling was addicting, your walls so soft and tight, perfect, just the way he liked.
tighnari is quick to reach his own climax and pulls out with a wince, cum slicking your back, leaving a shiny finish to your shaking figure. he moves your h/c hair out of the way before placing gentle kisses on your nape. “truly, you’re too good for me.”
“you really are too good.”
#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin#genshin tighnari#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin oneshots#tighnari#tighnari x reader#genshin fluff#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#going feral
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Catharsis | Adrian Chase
this fic is race/ hair type/ body type neutral; why does that matter? If you feel I’ve overlooked something in regard to this, no matter how “small”, please let me know!
@stealsteels threatened to BEAT ME UP (real) if I didn't post this so I'm doing it.
(…in all seriousness, thank you for all of your encouragement, it truly means the world ♡)
word count | 5.1k (woof)
warnings/ notes | 18+, fluff/ smut; clit rubbing/ fingering, spanking, vibrators, kink discovery/ exploration, trusting and communicating with your partner (hot), service top Adrian, masochistic reader/ sadistic Adrian if you squint. I don't write piv :)
as noted, this contains spanking. It is of course fully consensual, something reader explicitly asks for and (most importantly) NOT a punishment, but I realize it still isn’t everyone's thing, so please be mindful.
also this is incredibly self indulgent and tbh maybe a little out of character, and turned out a lot fluffier and domestic that I intended.
ao3
minors/ ageless blogs please respect my wishes and do not interact with my work/ blog. I will block you :)
You hear him before you see him. A double shift at Fennel Fields followed by hours of shooting a bunch of appliances in the woods with Chris and he still careens into your apartment with all the intensity and finesse of a hurricane. The endless amount of energy he seemed to have was sometimes baffling, and while it was usually fun to have your own personal Energizer bunny around (especially in bed), sometimes you really envied it.
You especially envy it on days like today when you felt like you could barely drag yourself through a comparatively low stakes and low effort day.
That feeling doesn’t last long though, because as soon as he toes his shoes off (a task that takes significantly longer than it should because he refuses to untie his laces, insisting that it’s faster even though it clearly isn’t) and rounds the corner into the kitchen, he shoots you his signature smile and you instantly feel that warmth you only seem to feel around him.
Shoes successfully removed, he ambles over to where you stand in front of the stove, fanning yourself as you lower the heat of the burner. Strong arms instinctively find their way around your waist and he nuzzles into your side, dropping tiny kisses to your cheek. Said kisses are, of course, mostly a means of distraction so that he can reach around you to grab the spoon you'd been stirring with and stick the entire thing in his mouth, but it’s still cute enough to earn him a few kisses in return.
You return to stirring (with a new spoon), humming your replies as he launches into his recap of the day’s events. The recaps are rarely linear (sometimes they're not even coherent), so by now you’re used to the way he flip flops between how crazy the recoil from Chris' Desert Eagle was (“I mean yeah okay, I shot it without his permission, but holy shit babe that thing is crazy! Maybe I should get one. I mean when you think about it it’s actually kind of weird that we don’t have matching guns. Do you think he would think that was weird? If I got the same gun as him?”), to how he’d broken a guy's kneecaps after he'd caught him pushing his girlfriend into a wall in a dark alley, to how some other guy had actually proposed at Fennel Fields (“but don’t worry babe, when I propose it’ll be somewhere way nicer. Like at least Olive Garden or better.”)
The last bit earns him an eye roll and a nudge to the ribs, but you still can’t help the grin that pulls at your lips.
With dinner done, he finally disentangles himself from you to grab the plates and silverware and plops down in front of the tv. Tonight you’re finishing up the latest season of Barry (a show he finds hilarious, more for the gore than the actual comedy), but the second you take your seat next to him his arms immediately find their way around your middle.
“You know you can’t eat if you’re holding me, right?” you question, arching an eyebrow at him.
Undeterred, he pulls you even tighter, insisting that he “totally can though!”
“I’ve mastered the art. See, look,” He demonstrates said “mastery” by pulling you into his chest and bringing his plate around so that it sits on his open palm in front of you. He grins down at you, hopeful you’ll just ignore the high likelihood of pasta sauce spilling down your front with one wrong move. You pat his cheek and shake your head no, moving to separate your bodies. He pouts, truly pouts at you and once again find yourself unable to hide your smile.
“Okay okay, what about if you lay down on my chest and I put my plate on your back?”
“Then how would I eat?”
He ponders this for a second until you see another lightbulb go off.
“Okay, what about you sit in my lap and hold your plate and I-”
“I swear, if you suggest putting your plate on my head...”
“You didn’t let me finish!”
Another skeptical look before you sigh and motion for him to finish.
“...But yes I was going to say that.”
The way he seems to so desperately want this to work is perhaps a little annoying, but mostly very cute and endearing. Another eye roll makes it clear that his request is out of the question, and he’ll, for the time being, have to settle for eating like a normal person.
You turn your attention back to the screen just in time to see a guy's brains splatter as he gets shot in the head point blank. Despite the fact that you know about Adrian’s propensity for violence, it still gets to you and you wince. He pulls you tightly into his side, rubbing soothing circles into your shoulder and you settle into his touch, muttering your thanks into his sweatshirt and pressing a grateful peck to his chin. You sigh contentedly and press your face into his side and your eyes drift closed as you inhale his scent.
A bark of laughter jolts you awake. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, but sure enough when you look up the credits are rolling. You yawn and stretch, craning your neck to look up at him and he seems to immediately sense your stare. He smiles that smile, the one that’s sweet like his normal one but also not, doing absolutely nothing to hide the fact that he’s thinking about something not so sweet, and the proof of what he exactly he's thinking is now pressing up against you. You turn to face him fully, taking in his lopsided smile and the slight splotchy blush creeping over his neck and plant a small teasing kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Obviously this isn’t enough for him, and he leans over to gently grab the back of your neck and pulls you to him. The kiss is… kind of a lot, to be honest, but most things with Adrian are. Overeager as always he wastes no time licking along the seam of your mouth, asking for entry. You don't oblige him, not yet, opting to tease him instead as you nip his bottom lip.
You hug him closer, feeling the muscles in his back flex under your touch as he tilts your head to the side to suck at the skin of your neck. You move to straddle him but he's already getting impatient and makes a frustrated sound as he grips your thighs and pulls you the rest of the way into his lap. With you seated fully on top of him, he moves one hand to your hip to hold you solidly in place while the other snakes up under your shirt. Adrian is rarely smooth and tonight is no exception. His hands move over you as if he's unsure where to go or where to stop, touching you like it's the first time. They ghost over your stomach and up between your breasts before finally settling on your ass in a nice firm hold.
He finally frees your neck, laving sloppy kisses over your tender skin before pulling away completely. The momentary loss of contact is enough for you to come back to your senses and you push lightly against his chest.
“Hi.” Hi? You scoff at yourself. Great start.
You have no idea why you’re feeling so self-conscious all of a sudden, especially when he's looking at you like that.
The way he noticeably focuses when you have something to say, absorbing your every word is endearing but sometimes it also feels so intense. Especially now, when he’s sitting here, half hard underneath you, eyes growing wide and curious under his large frames.
You gather yourself and clear your throat.
“I uh, I actually wanted to talk about something. To ask you something, actually. I mean, we obviously don’t have to do it tonight, or do anything tonight. I mean I know you’ve had a really long day so I don’t want you to feel obligated to do it tonight, or at all even, if you don't want to. I don’t even know if it’s something you’d be interested in so, no pressure, obviously.”
You’re way too aware of the fact that you’re rambling, which is typically more of an Adrian thing than a you thing, but despite (or maybe because of) your awareness, you can’t seem to stop. The words just keep tumbling out, and now you’re getting flustered and a little bit annoyed with yourself, in large part because it's Adrian for Christ's sake. He's never judged you for your desires and you know it's not in his nature. Even now he just sits there, ignoring his own arousal, patiently waiting for you to get the words out, tracing comforting (albeit distracting) shapes against the tops of your thighs. In spite of all this you still struggle with simply just saying what you want– what you need. You take another breath.
"I want…"
You had what felt like the most supportive partner in the world, so why did this feel so fucking hard?
He nods, squeezing your sides, encouraging you to continue. “Tell me what you want. Tell me and I'll give it to you.”
"I, uh, I want you to spank me." You hold your breath, gauging his reaction carefully.
He immediately perks up at this and just like that, you’re at ease again. Not even a hint of the hesitation or confusion (or even worse, judgment or disgust) you’d dealt with the few times you’d brought it up with previous partners. Not even the well meaning (but kind of annoying) "I don't want to hurt you" you'd come to expect. Then again, this is Adrian, your Adrian, and now you’re wondering why you were even worried in the first place.
Then again, it wasn't like this was exactly a shocking revelation. Adrian already knew you liked some pain and he’d been more than happy to give you the occasional playful spank before, in and out of the bedroom. Even though what you're asking for now was much different, his reaction is a huge relief.
For his part, he sits there, fucking beaming at you. His eyes drift to your lips again, tongue sneaking out to lick his own as he leans in to nip at you this time. For a moment he lingers, like he can’t decide whether he wants to kiss you or move back down to your neck. He goes with the former, pulling you into a searing kiss. You don’t consider yourself the type to get easily flustered, but fuck if he isn’t literally taking your breath away right now. He pushes his tongue into your mouth, payback for earlier, and you gasp. His hand moves to cradle the back of your neck again, squeezing just the tiniest bit. You know he's barely using any of his strength and that knowledge makes you shudder.
“So, how do you want to do this?”
You laugh, “I um…” To be honest, you kind of hadn’t really put much thought into logistics and the kiss wasn't making it any easier to think.
You don’t have to flounder for too long though, because now that you’ve put the idea into his head, he’s running with it.
“Want me to bend you over the couch?”
Another thing most people don’t know about Adrian, and you’re thankful for this, is how… focused he can be. Especially when properly motivated.
“Or I could put you over my lap. Get you nice and relaxed and just… help get all the tension out. Would you like that? Hm?” Hia hands have drifted back to your ass and he pinches it now to emphasize his point, making you yelp.
You can tell how excited he’s getting both by the way he continues to ramble and by the way he’s started to absentmindedly rut up against you. You don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it because he’s still talking, seemingly completely unaware.
“Maybe we should get a paddle. I’d love to see your ass jiggle when I hit it with a paddle. Fuck, do you have one? Should we get one right now? Or a riding crop. Or- what are those things with all the tassels?”
“Adrian, do you really want to buy a flogger right now? Or do you want to take me to bed?"
“Right, right.” Without warning, he stands and you do your best to cling to him as he makes his way to your bedroom. From this position it’s harder to grind against him, but that doesn’t stop you from trying. You press your lips against the long column of his throat, moving up from his Adam’s apple to kiss behind his ear. You move back down and up again, repeating the action on the other side. He groans, deep and guttural and filthy, and you think it’s the loveliest sound you’ve ever heard.
“Stopstopstop, you’re distracting me!” He huffs, cutely, like he really has the audacity to be annoyed right now.
You grin into his neck, unable to stop yourself from softly nibbling his ear.
He places you down on the bed, crawling over you to kiss down your neck and you arch into him, hands sliding down his chest, toned muscles apparent despite the thick material of his sweatshirt, before reaching his waistband. You move to tug them down, desperate to feel him in your hands but he quickly grabs both your wrists and holds them above your head. He pulls back to look at you, smiling a very different smile now.
You try in vain to tug your wrists free, whining for him to let you go so you can touch him, but the look he fixes you with is enough to shut you up. Slowly, slowly he trails his free hand down your chest and slips it into your shorts, rubbing you over your panties.
You moan, clamping your thighs around his hand and grinding yourself into his touch, growing more and more desperate by the second. When he finally he relents and releases your hands you're panting, but you waste no time wrapping your arms around his neck and tangling your hands in his curls as he returns to your neck, kisses turning to bites.
He rucks your shirt all the way up and you lift so he can finish tugging it over your arms. You shiver, fully exposed to him now and he bends down to take one nipple in his mouth, alternating between gentle bites and sucks while circling the other with his thumb and you sigh dreamily, pushing up into his touch.
Your hand drifts back to the nape of his neck, absently dragging your nails up and down the back of his scalp, dark curls running through your fingers and he groans against your skin. You move for his pants again but he bites your nipple that much harder; a clear warning.
He releases your nipple and you think he's switching to the other one but he instead fixes you with another stern look. His voice is lower this time when he speaks.
“Are you gonna behave, or do I need to tie you up?”
You can’t help the shiver that runs through you, or the whimper that escapes your lips at his words.
As enticing as the offer is, you’re starting to get antsy. You nod your head and mutter your assent and he smirks, seemingly satisfied with your answer.
The look he gives you this time is much softer but it still makes your blood run hot, makes you feel like the electricity in your nerves is sparking just under your skin. You turn your head to the side and without missing a beat he grabs your chin lightly, guiding your gaze back to him.
Heat rushes up your neck to your cheeks, but you make yourself hold his gaze. His pupils are almost completely blown black now, cheeks ruddy and lips set in a firm line.
"I care about making you feel good.” The sincerity in his voice floods you with warmth.
“Are you gonna let me?”
You whimper, wishing he’d just go back to kissing you, but you know the question isn’t rhetorical.
“Yes, yes, please Adrian just- please”, you pant, stretching up, wordlessly begging him to kiss you again, to do something, but he doesn't relent. He just holds your gaze while you pout and squirm under him.
“Now, tell me what you want.”
You peer up at him, uncertain of what he means. “I told you, I want you-”
“No, tell me exactly what you want. Be specific. Do you… do you want me to punish you?” His voice quiets a bit at the end.
“No! No, I don’t. I don’t want it to be a punishment. I-I don’t know. I just… I do want it to hurt but... I more just want to not think, just for a while. Sorry, that’s not what you asked but-”
“No, no that’s good. That’s good.”
He finally lets go of your wrists and kneads the muscles in your shoulders. The warmth and pressure from his hands soothes your nerves and you sigh and smile up at him.
“Alright, get over my lap then.”
You scramble to obey, already dizzy with anticipation. You feel giddy with it, and despite your nerves you couldn't deny how badly you wanted this– wanted to feel his hands on you, wanted him to make you feel release only the way he could.
You splay yourself over his spread legs, head resting on the pillow you’d grabbed. Now that you’re unable to see what he’s doing, your mind starts to race. Your pulse quickens, and you start to get that familiar floaty feeling you get whenever he takes control and you get to let go.
He puts one hand on the small of your back and with the other he finally, mercifully, tugs at your waistband. You can feel just how hard he's gotten now as he presses into your hip, but he doesn’t move. Adrian isn't much for teasing but he makes no move to touch you, so you wiggle your hips in the hope that it’ll get him to do… something. He presses firmly on your lower back and you huff, but still yourself anyway. He slowly smooths over the muscles in your lower back, pressing deeper and deeper until you relax into his touch.
He moves lower, gripping the meat of your ass, kneading it softly, and you’re not sure if the gentle touches are genuine or if he’s trying to get you to let your guard down before he starts.
He unceremoniously spreads your legs, dipping his hand between your thighs before ghosting his fingers over your lips. He moves to circle your clit over your underwear and you moan into the pillow, bucking your hips back into his hand, searching for more of whatever he’s willing to give you.
You should’ve known better again, because as soon as you do, his hand comes down squarely against your ass. The pain isn’t so bad, but the sound is enough to make you jump.
"Oh." he says quietly, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "I see."
You're not sure exactly what he means by this but you don't have time to think about it too hard before he brings his hand down again, this time on the other cheek. He stops briefly and you move to turn and ask if that's all he intends to do, but you feel another stinging slap before you get the chance.
“You said you wanted it to hurt, right?” You mumble a "yes", high and breathy, into the pillow that’s smushed against your face.
"Then ask me nicely."
Fuck.
"Adrian, please, please, fucking- just - harder please."
The pace he sets now is unrelenting. You pretty quickly become aware of the fact that he's making sure there's no pattern for you to predict and the thought makes you even giddier.
One smack, and then another, the stinging pain hovering just on the edge of too much, dulling all of your other senses. You start to get that familiar hazy feeling, and you relax into it, welcome it, will it to take you over completely.
Left, left, left, right, left again, one sharp, followed by a few open handed ones to your thigh in quick succession. All the while he's rubbing small, tight circles against your clit with his other hand.
His fingers move to tease your entrance, rubbing small circles into you and like the slaps he's doling out they seem to have no predictable rhythm.
"I think… this is really unlocking something in me," he mutters, more to himself than to you.
You’d been so focused on what he was doing that you only now realize how embarrassingly loud your moans had been, but his comment draws something out of you. You’re whining and writhing against him, not even trying to look dignified at this point, the sensation verging on overwhelming but so so good.
Suddenly it’s gone, and you whine in protest. For a moment everything is still, and you realize for the first time how quickly your heart is beating.
“Still okay?”
You don’t think you can form words right now, but you groan an affirmative, hoping it gets your message across. Adrian gently tilts your chin so he can look into your eyes and confirm. “Yes?” he questions, and your heart warms at the way he asks, at the way he always wants to be certain. The way he's biting his lip also tells you you’re not the only one who's enjoying this.
You exhale sharply, forcing your brain and mouth to actually form words, making sure your "yes" is clear. He nods once in return and releases your chin, and you sigh as you sink into the pillow again. Once you're comfortable, he starts again.
"Good girl. Keep being good for me.”
The sharp stinging pain and the dull thudding of his open palm are starting to run together, all becoming one sensation. He grips the fat of your ass again with one hand, releases it and brings the other hand down. He repeats this a few more times; squeezing, releasing and then bringing his hand down quickly before the blood has the chance to rush back under your skin, gauging your reactions each time, cataloging every whimper, moan and twitch, every shudder, flinch and squeal and rewarding each in kind.
“You like that? You like it when I hurt you like this? You like my fingers rubbing your pretty little clit like this?”
With this he runs his fingers back through the slick between your legs, teasing a finger against your opening.
"Jesus, fuck, look at you. Is this all for me? Yeah? Answer me." You can’t help but whine at that, telling him "Yes, yes it's all for you, all for you Adrian!" hiccuping and helpless to do anything but feel him.
He continues, “I think I know what you want, but you know you have to use your words,” he chides. “Can you do that for me?”
“Yes, yes! Pleasepleaseplease” You’re nearly sobbing now, tears you hadn't even noticed before falling freely now.
“I think I have something you’ll like even better,” he says, and your heart leaps at the thought of what he could possibly have in mind. You move to turn to him, but a firm hand on your back keep you in place.
He draws his hand back and you brace yourself for the inevitable impact, but it doesn't come. You huff, knowing full well he's absolutely got the shittiest grin on his face but you refuse to turn around this time, refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing your annoyance. So the two of you just sit there, momentarily suspended, at the world’s tensest, horniest impasse. You, over his lap, your panties hanging off of your ankle, and him, with presumably one hand raised in the air and one tracing faint shapes into the skin of your inner thighs.
"You," he starts, taking a deliberate breathe like he's trying to compose himself, trying to stave off the arousal he's thus far been able to keep at bay. He’s still got his pants on, and the combination of that and you writhing and moaning on top of him is starting to become unbearable.
"You have no fucking idea what you do to me."
He sounds dangerous now, voice too measured and now the tension is really starting to get to you.
He’s moving on the bed, doing his best to not jostle you too much but you can still feel his hips and cock shift under you as he reaches over to the drawer on your side of the bed.
You hear him rifling through it, various objects clattering as he tosses them around. You use this time to ground yourself, taking a few deep breaths but they do little to stop the way your blood is still rushing under your skin. You have an idea of what he’s looking for, but you don’t dare turn around to confirm your suspicions.
Finally, the rustling stops and he chuckles triumphantly.
He’s quiet again. Suspiciously, unnervingly quiet. Adrian is so rarely quiet that when he is it's noticeable. He’s still lazily running his fingers between your thighs, purposefully avoiding your clit this time, despite the insistent roll of your hips. Like he’s got all the time in the fucking world.
You hear the telltale buzz of the Magic Wand behind you, but he doesn’t give you time to register it before he pushes the head right up against your clit. You cry out, the sensation immediately far too intense, but despite your struggle he continues to firmly hold you in place. You whine pathetically, the pressure and vibration too much too soon, and he eases up just a little so the vibrations are still strong, but not so overwhelming.
You keep squirming, you can’t help it, and he moves the toy from your clit. This time you chase it, now desperate for stimulation and he chuckles above you and spanks your ass again.
“Fuck!” You cry out, burying your face into the pillow again. You know how you probably look, completely fucked out, tears splilling freely from your eyes now as you sob ugly and way too loud sobs, but you can't think about that right now. You were close, so so close. You just needed that extra little push.
“You’re doing so well baby. Can you take a few more?” and he asks so sweetly you can't even think about saying no.
Adrian returns to rubbing the small of your back, his voice a little softer now. He knows the telltale signs of your impending orgasm, and he always knows how to get you over the edge.
You gasped an “uh-huh”, arching into his touch and this time he allows it and repositions the toy directly against your clit again. Despite his softer tone, his hand comes down again just as hard and unrelenting as before and you’re honestly glad he isn’t going softer now that he knows you’re close.
He turns the vibration up a little more and the extra stimulation is exactly what you need. You feel your body seize momentarily as you clench and shake and for a split second everything feels still before your orgasm crests and breaks over you.
You hold onto that feeling for as long as you can, letting the wave break and settle and feeling your brain go blissfully hazy.
You feel floaty, your body feeling absolutely spent, wrung out completely and everything in that moment feels so perfect.
Adrian slowly ghost gentle touches over your back and down over your ass and thighs. You feel something cool and sigh contentedly as he rubs lotion into your stinging flesh.
You work to steady your breathing, reveling in the feeling of his gentle touch and the sweet praises he mumbles.
He knows you sometimes get a little dizzy and fucked out after you cum, (loves it, really) so he waits for you to gather yourself. Once he finishes you roll onto your stomach.
You wouldn't blame him for being self satisfied or even cocky in this moment, but the smile he wears now is anything but. It's just warm and sweet, like him.
He grabs one of the small hand towels you keep in the bedside drawers and gently wipes you down, knowing how much you hate the feeling of sweat on your skin after and helps you pull a fresh pair of underwear and one of his oversized shirts on as you settle into his lap.
“Was it.. was it good for you? Was it too hard?” You hear the little bit of worry start to creep into his voice and you’re quick to reassure him.
“No, no not at all. It was perfect Adj. You know I would’ve stopped you if something was wrong.”
He visibly relaxes at this, and resumes running his fingers over your tender flesh, humming softly.
It’s quiet, and for a while the only sound you’re aware of is your breathing. When he speaks again, it’s like he’s already in the middle of a thought.
“But seriously. Whatever you need, you know I’m happy to do it for you. And you know how much I love taking care of you. I just always want to make sure I make you feel good, you know?”
You smile at his confession. “Yeah, I know. And thank you. Seriously."
You clear your throat. “It's just nice to have someone who cares, you know?”
He hums thoughtfully, still rubbing your skin gently.
"I know you care about me as a person, and I'm not saying you're the only one who does. I meant more, it's nice to have someone who cares about making me feel good. Not to say that other people were just using me for sex but… with you it's just,” you go quiet again. “It’s just different."
“So thank you. For… this. For not being weirded out by it, I mean. And for doing it, of course.”
You sit up so you can look him in the eye now and he pulls you into him fully, arms tight and secure. The last thing you're aware of before you drift off this time is his scent as he kisses your temple.
#adrian#adrian chase x reader#adrian chase x you#adrian chase smut#adrian chase fic#adrian chase imagine#vigilante smut#Vigilante#vigilante x reader#vigilante x you#m.txt#fics#writing#m.writing#adrian chase x black!reader#anyway if you saw me delete and repost this no you didn't#adrian chase
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Symbiosis
( yandere geto suguru x female reader )
It couldn’t be. He was a professional, someone like him wouldn’t make such an amateur mistake. He said it himself: he wanted to help you.
Dr. Geto becomes your lifeline.
content: yandere Geto, drug misuse & non-consensual drugging, dependency, past familial trauma, mental health issues, introspection, mentioned past overdose, medical malpractice. contains sensitive content. not a love story. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT — 5.5k words
notes: please keep it mind that my intention is not to romanticise or glorify these experiences, it is a personal narrative, so it's based on my experiences and feelings at the time. otherwise, I hope you enjoy the story and please, be kind. <3
divider by cafekitsune | cross-posted on ao3
You coasted through your life.
You moved on autopilot, you never questioned or thought about anything, and you had a routine you followed without deviation. You’d been in a state like this for as long as you could remember. You used to wonder how it all began. You used to feel hurt as you were thrown into a deep spiral when you realised that the joyous child you were was now a puppet on its cruel maker’s strings.
You wished you could have saved her.
You knew it was illogical to think that way. You can’t change a story that has already been inked and carved into permanence. Still, it didn’t stop your mind from wandering. Sometimes you’d think of what would’ve been if you could go back in time and save her from her father. If you could have escaped from your captor who saw you as collateral and not his child. Your grandmother used to believe that men were meant to lead and protect their families, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Was it protecting you when he’d forbidden you from reaching out to the outside world?
Was it protecting you when he’d lock you in his room, away from anything you could use to call for help?
You liked to insist that you didn’t care anymore. Maybe you were a liar. You’d been dishonest far too often in your life, after all. Maybe, in a fucked up spin on the story of Narcissus and his reflection, you fell for your own tricks. You liked to believe you didn’t care, but sometimes, you’d find yourself feeling like that child again—alone and afraid as he gave more love to his stepchildren than you.
You might not have known anything at six years old. He was still your father. But as much as you loved him, you needed to break out of the chains he placed on your life. When he fell asleep from all the drinking he did, you took your chance. Called the number you weren’t allowed to call, decided on where to meet her the next day. Pretended like everything was normal when he woke up. Your mother took you back to your real home from school, and just like that, you were finally free. He cared too much about his public image to start a fight in public. It was the luckiest you had ever been.
You ended up forgetting about it all. You were happy. You were home. You might have spent more time with another relative because your mother was always busy, but you were loved. You felt loved. At least, that was how you remembered it. You weren’t quite sure if your memory was truly failing or if passivity had just been present for all your life. Your memories were in vignettes, burnt and broken, a film reel that was cut and couldn’t be put together. You’d given up on trying to remember. You were fine with leaving yourself in the dark and you were fine with being oblivious. You wouldn’t know if your memories were real, but it didn’t matter anymore.
High school was a blur. You fell asleep, skipped class, and still managed to stay one of your class’ best students despite it all. It was all you could do, anyway. It was just another obstacle you had to get over. As soon as you left the graduation ceremony, you left everyone behind with your memories. The teachers, the staff, your ‘friends.’ You didn’t know them that well. You hadn’t been all too honest with them, just like you weren’t honest with your doctor. The pills he gave you helped—you knew they did. For once, you felt like you were back on earth. You needed the feeling to stay with you. You needed to feel alive, to be alive again.
You liked the moment of bliss you’d get when you came to, so much so that you’d taken it all to die with a smile, but death never came.
Instead, the white light you saw was from the fluorescence of the ceiling, and the angelic choir you wanted to hear was instead the slow beeps of your heart rate on the monitor. What the doctors were talking about over your half-unconscious form didn’t feel like words but nonsense. You couldn’t remember what the nurse said to you, either. All you knew was that in your trance, the state where you teetered on the line between life and death, you saw shadows in that hospital. You saw the ghost of your grandmother in the corner, watching as charcoal flowed down your throat and into your stomach. You felt your father’s indifferent gaze, the same one he had when you drifted too far from shore at the beach.
You heard your mother crying, felt her guilt as she went through the whirlwind you had inadvertently put her in. It was perhaps your biggest regret of all; not the taking of your happy pills, but letting her shed tears over you. Your grandmother used to tell you this was the greatest sin you could ever commit. That scared you enough to force yourself to be better. To be as normal as you could be, as normal as your mother would want you to be. You didn’t want her to cry anymore.
But strength was never your best suit.
Your regret turned into something worse—anger that you let them take your salvation away from you. You weren’t always an angry person. It was hard to get on your nerves that much, you thought. You’d like to think you were carefree (or careless?) and resilient, but the craving in your system and the need to feel something again was all you could think of. You wanted your control back.
You had to get it back. Now that you were on your own, thousands of miles away from home, you had more autonomy to do as you liked. There were no vigilant eyes on you, no more obstacles to overcome, and no more people you had to lie to.
Tempted as you were to resort to such tactics again, you did initially come to the medical centre for a harmless reason. You were running low, and going through another withdrawal episode wasn’t something you were particularly thrilled about. You only wanted—needed—to keep yourself functioning; this was just part of the conditions that came with it. You hated dealing with these things for too long, so begrudgingly, you booked an appointment just to get it over with. Then you could go back to whatever your life was this time.
That feeling of emptiness would continue to persist, fading from one day to another, but you would live. It wasn’t anything worth celebrating. It was just a duty you gave yourself. Even if you didn’t want to, you had to.
Your leg bounced up and down as you sat in the waiting room, idly watching the second hand of the clock tick little by little. It was quiet and surprisingly not too crowded like you assumed when you looked at the appointment times. Other students you didn’t recognise scrolled through their phones, waiting for their names to be called just like you were. You sighed into your face mask. You were bored out of your mind and nothing on your phone could fix that. You’d still zone out anyway.
You glanced down at the paper in your hand. The letters seemed to burn themselves into your eyes the more you read them. You didn’t have to print the appointment details, but you valued your routine and habits no matter how mundane they were. You liked doing things in order. It kept you sane, you thought.
You didn’t quite recognise the name Dr. Suguru Geto. You were to meet them in—you took a glance back at the clock—2 minutes but you were dreading it more than anything. It would be your first time meeting them and if things went well, they’d be someone you see regularly. Apprehension and annoyance simmered at the pit of your stomach. Sudden changes were something you hated, even more so the fact that you had to tell a stranger your history all over again. Suffocated couldn’t possibly be the only word to describe how you felt about it. It was their job to know and help you, you knew that, but you still hated having to muster up the words to talk about how you were mentally and physically.
You didn’t like how vulnerable and paranoid you felt every time you sat in a doctor’s office. Anyone could use your weaknesses against you at any moment. Walking on eggshells around everyone had become second nature to you, irritatingly. It wasn’t as if you wanted to; it was more of a reflex, an instinct. You learnt to hide behind a character you built for yourself and grew used to it. To break that down and expose yourself again wasn’t the easiest thing to do.
Your name was called. “Dr. Geto is ready to see you now. Please follow me.”
The nurse’s heels clicked against the polished floors and the low buzz of the air conditioning was all that accompanied you as you followed her down the hall. Even the air was dreary, and the anxiousness you were feeling only seemed to grow as you got closer to the doctor’s office. It was colder at the end of the hallway where you stood. The nurse gently opened the sliding door, catching the doctor’s attention with a soft lilt of their name.
“Thank you,” you muttered and shuffled past her, tentatively making your way to the chair that was across Dr. Geto’s desk. As the door slid shut, the doctor greeted you, his voice far too jovial for a situation that could be the worst thing to deal with.
“Good morning,” he said. “How can I help you today?”
You shifted in your seat, feeling oddly more uncomfortable under his gaze. “I need a new written prescription. The one I brought from home doesn’t work here.”
“Ah, you’re a foreign student?” He scanned over the paper you handed him, a low hum vibrating in the back of his throat. His lips tugged into a frown. “I don’t think we have this variation in our pharmacy. I’d have to prescribe you a different one entirely.”
“W-What do you mean?” The words came out of you before you could think. “It’s pretty common, isn’t it? I could just buy it from pharmacies at home. What do you mean you don’t have that here?”
Geto raised his eyebrows. It was only then did it occur that you’d spoken too much and might’ve just attracted some suspicion as to why you were here. You pretended not to see how his expression changed, staring down at the floor instead.
“I’m sorry for raising my voice,” you said quietly. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s fine. I understand your worries,” he replied, eyes crinkling as he smiled once again. “How do you feel about starting a different one?”
“But…” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You didn’t like how it felt being watched by him. It was like you were getting reprimanded for something, even if there was nothing in his visage that implied that at all.
“It won’t be that different. I can prescribe you something with a similar composition,” Dr. Geto explained. The way he spoke was soft and calm. It didn’t take too long for that to affect you, making the tension in your shoulders lift away and your fists unclench. “I assume you know enough about drugs, don’t you?”
You weren’t here for that reason. You just really needed a refill, you weren’t falling back, you weren’t—
“Yeah. Just enough,” you replied hesitantly. “I’ve been seeing psychiatrists and doctors for years, so I just picked it up from them. And I read a lot, so…”
It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. The answer seemed to placate the doctor enough for him to lean back and scribble something down on a piece of paper. The sound of the pen scratching against the surface felt more grating than usual. You thought it was all done, that he’d give you that damn paper and you could leave. But then he crossed his arms over his chest and stared you down, and you realised that wasn’t the case at all. Why was he holding this back from you? Why wasn’t he helping you? All he had to do was click a few buttons, hit print and send you on your way. Why wasn’t he doing any of it?
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything.”
“I have been telling you everything,” you argued, exasperated and flustered. You didn’t understand why he was being so pointed at you. You didn’t remember exactly what you just said to him either. It had always been that way. “Doctor, I just don’t want to go through withdrawals again. That’s it.”
He didn’t seem convinced. What made him change his mind so quickly?
“I want to help you,” he said, your name rolling off his tongue smoothly. “I can’t do that if you don’t help me, too.”
You didn’t like the way he was speaking to you. It reminded you of being back at that wooden house, hiding behind the door as you anticipated when your father’s patience would burst. You shook your head, trying to clear the thought away.
“I… would like it if we could wrap this up soon. I have another appointment in half an hour,” you lied, hoping it would strike some urgency in him and that he would just hurry up. “I’m already running late. I need to be on my way.”
Dr. Geto raised an eyebrow. “You’re avoiding my request.”
“I-I’m not!” you stammered. “Please, doctor, I only have two days left on that bottle. I’ll take whatever it was called that you talked about. I’ve always responded well to medication, it won’t be a danger to me.”
He didn’t respond, only continued to watch you as he absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the desk. The sound was overloading your senses—you felt cornered, you could hear the blood rush in your ears, you could hear ringing, and the taps of his fingers were making it worse.
Hunching over, dejected, you relented. “I was never really told what was wrong with me. They just gave me antidepressants and I never saw the psychiatrist again.”
“You said you met several, no?”
Did you?
“I won’t make assumptions about you,” he said, “but I’m not sure I can trust you with a month’s worth of pills. I’ll only give you a week’s worth of them, then we’ll have a follow-up next Saturday to see how you feel. ”
“I don’t know… Changing medications is scary.”
You cringed at how the confession came out of you so easily. Sometimes it felt like your mind and your body weren’t in tune with each other. There was a gap between the two and you could never manage to get it to close.
Suddenly, the stern demeanour melted away and the friendly doctor was back. His brows were no longer furrowed. His face relaxed as he leaned back against the chair and smiled at you.
“It’s only a bit stronger than what you used to take. There shouldn’t be a drastic change.” The printer whirred to life as it ejected a small piece of paper with words you didn’t really recognise on it. Medical jargon was one of the things you could never memorise well. “Alright. Come, I’ll lead you to the pharmacy.”
You blinked. “You don’t have other appointments?”
“We’re understaffed. It’s only me and two other colleagues working here.”
It didn’t answer your question, but the hope blooming in your chest took your mind off of it. You could finally leave this creepy clinic—well, you were exaggerating, you thought. The clinic was actually well-maintained and populated, but there was just something that felt a little off about this place. You decided you’d blame it on your nerves.
“Please wait here.”
You watched him move between the shelves with an air of familiarity and grace as he murmured something you couldn’t hear. He came back with a small pouch that was labelled with your name and the general details (you knew the gist, you’d done this for years) and placed it on the counter between him and you.
“Like I said, this is a bit stronger than what you used to take, so I want you to start by taking half a pill every morning first.” The pills didn’t look anything out of the ordinary. It was a small, standard white tablet with a line etched in the middle for easier splitting. You gingerly tucked it into your bag, instead rummaging through the mess to look for your wallet. Before you could take out a bill or two, he stopped you. “The university has that covered, remember?”
You blinked. “Oh, right. Yes. Thank you.”
“Come see me if you have a bad reaction to it.” He gave you another friendly smile. It was starting to grow on you. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as you thought he would be. You had a knack for being a bit paranoid, after all. It was just one of those days. You felt a bit bad for judging him so harshly before you even properly spoke to him. “That’s all. I’ll see you next week, same time.”
There was a sense of discomfort nagging you in the back of your mind, but you shook it off. You were prone to overthinking things; this was just one of them. Relieved, you thanked him again and left the clinic. The weather was nice today and you didn’t have overdue assignments. You could recharge for as long as you wanted to.
While you knew not to underestimate these little things, you also weren’t sure how effective taking only half of the pill would be. It wasn’t the first time being on a dosage that would gradually increase, but you were still guilty of constantly worrying if something would work out. You didn’t think you had anything left to turn to if it didn’t.
You’d just have to take Dr. Geto’s word for it.
—
You were never one to pay much attention to how you were doing.
It wasn’t that you didn’t care. Something like that was simply not on the forefront of your mind. You were more than accustomed to being in a perpetual state of lethargy. You didn’t think you ever had a time in your life when you weren’t tired. Despite that, you felt the changes in your behaviour and demeanour. It was hard not to.
In the first half of the week, you felt sluggish and ill, as if your immune system decided to go haywire with the hormones in your brain, but you quickly recovered. It was nothing a little caffeine couldn’t fix (or worsen, but you didn’t want to think about it). He wasn’t lying when he said the medicine was stronger. The side effects weren’t as bad as you assumed they’d be, which you were glad about. Your appetite died down a little, but that was fine. You didn’t eat regularly anyway. As the days passed, you felt less anxious. It was somewhat easier to concentrate and follow along with your professors, even if you remained easily distracted.
Still, it wasn’t enough.
You were never one to pay much attention to how you were doing, but you weren’t one to shy away from your impulses, either. A thought popped into your mind. If you could take only half of the pill well, surely it would be fine to take another for a minor boost? You had a presentation later in the afternoon. Embarrassing yourself in front of the whole class was not an option. Your mother was working overtime to keep you in this position. You couldn’t fail her.
But as you picked up the blister pack, you found that it was empty.
“What?” you breathed. He prescribed you enough for seven days. Where was the last one? Had you accidentally double-dosed without knowing it? You wouldn’t put it past yourself to do something like that. The presentation slipped out of your mind entirely as you seemed to move purely on instinct, tugging the drawers open to also find nothing. When you crouched, you couldn’t find anything under the bed. There wasn’t anything in your luggage. Not even the closet where you’d habitually keep your pills hidden.
Your breathing was getting faster. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears, overwhelming you in white noise as you paced back and forth, shaky sobs leaving your lips as you clutched your hair in a firm grip. Just where was it?
Did Dr. Geto forget to give you enough?
No. It couldn’t be. He was a professional, someone like him wouldn’t make such an amateur mistake. He said it himself: he wanted to help you. It made no sense why he would screw you over like this. This was on you, you thought. You were responsible for keeping them and taking them per instruction. A doctor wouldn’t make a mistake like this. Dr. Geto wouldn’t make a mistake like this.
Your nails dug into your palms as a broken wail escaped you. You needed it. You had an important class later, it was almost exam season—you needed to do well. Your eyes scanned the room once again. Your old ones had already run out; the new pills were your only option, but both of them were gone.
You cursed and harshly wiped away your tears with your sleeve. You were going to be late. You’d just have to run to the clinic as soon as your next class ended. That’s right, you echoed in your head, nodding frantically. That was all you had to do. You could do this, you could. This has happened before. You just needed to try to keep yourself together.
“I can do this,” you repeated to yourself. “I can. I can.”
Tugging your hood over your head, you grabbed your bag and hurried your way to class, trying to ignore the dull ache at your temples. You could take a painkiller later. For now, there was no time—you had to go.
Your breathing was going back to normal by the time you stepped inside the room with a couple of minutes left to spare. Though you weren’t the only one late, humiliation still washed over you. It felt like an omen. You somehow lost or accidentally double-dosed on your pills, you arrived past your self-designated time, and all eyes were on you. Things were all going downhill from here, you just knew it.
You meekly shuffled to the back of the class instead of taking a seat at your usual spot. Maybe the professor would be less likely to call on you that way. The student beside you smiled in greeting and moved his bag for you. You didn’t know his name, but he was nothing but friendly to you the whole semester. It was embarrassing, being in front of someone who recognised you while in such a pitiful state, but there was nothing you could do.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked. His brows furrowed, brown eyes looking at you in concern. “You wanna go to the infirmary? I mean, Fushiguro’s great at taking notes, we can just copy from him.”
You shook your head. “I’m fine. Just overslept.”
Thankfully, he seemed to buy it.
“Oh man, I totally get you. I actually ran here a bit before you did.” He patted your back, the action more awkward than it was comforting. Before he went back to chatting with his friends, he smiled at you. “Glad you’re okay.”
You returned the gesture. Though it didn’t quite reach your ears, he didn’t seem to notice or mind it that much. Luckily enough, the conversation ended there. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The last thing you needed was for anyone to see you in a state like this. It was better to stop it as soon as it happened.
“Today we’ll talk about transference…”
The voice of your professor eventually became muffled as the ringing in your ears grew louder. The headache was getting harder to ignore and you felt cold, your hands trembling under the desk as your mouth felt like it had just dried up. The world seemed like it was spinning and fading into a blur, and you swore you could hear the boy next to you call out in concern, but you felt heavy like you were falling—
You collapsed to the ground with a loud thud, raising gasps all around you as the boy next to you froze for a moment. You traversed between the light and the dark, barely registering the voices speaking over your weary body.
“—you’re the strongest out of all of us, Yuji, carry her!”
“Shit, yeah, okay—”
“—her friends? Take her to the doctor.”
Your bottom lip quivered, your hands loosely gripping the front of his shirt as he carried you in his arms, swiftly making his way across the campus. Tears sprung to your eyes as you blubbered, latching on to him to help keep you grounded. Nothing else was registering in your mind, only the cold and tremors that got worse the more you cried.
As your sniffles quietened down, you heard a familiar voice—the doctor—talking about something with someone while you felt yourself sink into a soft surface. Queasiness held you in its grasp, left your stomach churning. It dragged you deeper and deeper, distracting you from the sharp prick in the back of your hand before you fell into nothingness.
—
The fluorescent white light was unkind to your vision as you slowly blinked awake.
You felt… strange. Like you were floating. Like you weren’t in your own body. You felt weary, incredibly so, that just forcing yourself to sit up felt impossible. The world was coming back to clarity the longer you kept your eyes open. You were no longer in the lecture hall but in a doctor’s office. Your seatmate must have carried you here, you thought. You parted your lips to speak, tried to call out for anyone, but your voice wouldn’t come out.
You fell back against the pillow, your eyelids fluttering closed again. It wasn’t until the door slid open did you finally feel more alert, bottom lip quivering the moment Dr. Geto stepped in. How could he still smile at you after what you’d done? After you broke his trust?
He took a seat next to the bed you were on. You whimpered out his name, blindly reaching for him with what energy left you could muster. You wanted to apologise, to try to explain yourself, but instead—
“You didn’t give me enough,” you whispered, the rest of your words dissolving into soft and incoherent whines. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do or how you were supposed to feel. Anger? Regret? Ironically, emotions seemed like the least of your worries when he was right next to you. You stared at him, your eyes glazing over with tears. “‘m sorry.”
You barely felt a warm hand clasped on top of yours as he sighed deeply, taking a glance at the heart monitor by his side.
“It was my mistake,” he said. You shook your head weakly, a quiet no leaving your lips. “I’ve failed you as your doctor.”
“No,” you repeated in what you hoped was a more assertive tone. It felt useless to wish for something like that. Maybe you should just stop thinking overall and let whatever this was play out on its own. You were so tired, but slumber was falling out of your hands and replaced by a burden upon your shoulders, guilt. “No, doctor…”
You wanted to tell him it was your fault. That this was just another lapse of memory, just like the last time and the time before that. There was a sense of fear clouding your mind, a flash of a warning that disappeared as fast as it came. You felt like there was something you should tell him or even ask him, but you couldn’t think of what it was.
“You’ll be alright now,” Dr. Geto reassured you. “How are you feeling?”
You couldn’t answer.
Just why were you nervous? There was nothing wrong here. He took care of you while you were unconscious, made sure you’d survive. You mumbled something under your breath, tears building up at the corners of your eyes the more you tried to speak. Bringing your hands up to your face, you shake your head again, this time allowing yourself to cry freely.
He softly shushed you, gingerly urging you to look at him. You let out a choked sob as he pried your hands off your face, saying your name in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
“You’re okay now,” he said, “Don’t cry.”
You weren’t sure how long he comforted you. All you could do was cry and cry until there was nothing left, until all your sobs became sniffles and exhaustion crawled into your bones, finding a home in your being. A rustle of fabric and you were being lifted in his arms, your head dropping as you drifted in and out of consciousness.
“I’m cold,” you exhaled shakily, nestling closer to him in an instinctive search for warmth and comfort. “I wanna go home.”
You couldn’t hear what he said as you succumbed to fatigue, further and further away until you came to again. You’re not in the clinic this time but in someone else’s room on a softer, warmer bed. The haze you’re trapped in overpowers the warning alarms in your head, replacing them with a sense of longing for the doctor who’s been taking care of you so well. Your wish is granted as the mattress dips with someone’s weight. Dr. Geto sits at the side, gently clasping his hand over your thigh as he says your name, soft as the wind.
“I don’t…” you trail off. What were you going to ask him? Were you just anxious that he was gone? “Something… Something’s wrong.”
“Are you still feeling sick?”
“I don’t know.”
You turn on your side, bringing your legs to your chest as you curl deeper into the blankets. You glance up at him. He’s not wearing his doctor’s coat anymore. Is he going somewhere?
He gently brushes stray hairs off your face before cupping the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. When did you start crying? You don’t know why you still feel so tired, or why you keep forgetting things the moment you think of them. But maybe you don’t have to know. Maybe you just need to trust him and just fall.
There isn’t any strength left in your system. Briefly, you’re reminded of how this is just like when you were in the emergency room years ago, alone and confused and helpless. Still, you force yourself up and crawl to him before resting your head on his lap. Like he’s in tune with you, his fingers card through your hair, comforting and familiar. You don’t think you’ve felt that in years.
You’re in a daze and you’re starting to enjoy how it felt. You don’t have to think anymore. Don’t have to worry, don’t have to feel afraid. Still, you can’t help but call for him again, as if you were worried he’d disappear if you stopped looking at him.
“Doctor…”
“Suguru.”
“Suguru,” you echo. Something feels wrong. He’s your doctor. This isn’t the hospital or the clinic. You should get up and run, get away as far as you can, but it feels so good to be held by him. Your mother used to do the same thing until you fell asleep and got lost in a dream. Dr. Geto—no, Suguru—is warm. He loves you. He cares for you.
You don’t want it to end.
“I can’t do this without you.”
You stare into space, completely missing his smirk as he coos in reply, voice sweet like honey, “I know. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You promise?”
He urges you to sit up properly before handing you two pills and a glass of water, comfortingly patting the top of your head when you take them from him. Your body moves on its own, far too used to this routine—take the pills, take a sip, swallow. Your limbs feel like jelly as you slump against him, resting your head on his chest. Strong arms wrap themselves around your frame and hold you close to a steady heartbeat.
Soft whines and whimpers leave your lips without you realising it. He’s so warm, a stark difference to how cold his office is, and the longer he holds you, the more you feel like you’re drifting away, sinking deeper, deeper…
“I do.”
And you let yourself fall into the ocean’s depths.
#trauma dumping but make it fashion#all#getou suguru x reader#suguru getou x reader#geto suguru x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#cw drugs#cw drugging#cw hospital#cw overdose#cw kidnapping#cw dark content#from kiri's keyboard
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Birthday Request Event
"It's my birthday and I'll write what I want to \o/"
Gift Details ♥
Reader: AFAB!reader
Character: Portgas D. Ace
Kink: #19 Hypnosis
Prompt: #1 "Beg for it."
Gift Giver: @mungbean-aoi
Summary: Ace says he's learned how to hypnotize people from Thatch, and you're not buying it.
Content Notes: Really fluffy actually. This did not follow the prompt request as I would've liked, but I think it was still good. My apologies to Mung, I hope you still like it. ^_^;
This birthday party is 18+, consensual unless explicitly stated otherwise, and BYOB
“A… pocket watch?” You question as you watch Ace spin it in circles with his finger.
“Yup.” He grins. “Thatch taught me how to do it.”
“Hypnosis.” You sound completely unconvinced. “C’mon Ace, everyone knows it’s just like, an easy out for marks that are willing but don’t want to admit it.”
“Uh huh,” he intones, still grinning at you. “You’re just afraid it’ll work.” He goads you, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Or is there something under the surface you want to confess to me secretly?”
You try your best to keep any reaction off your face, pulling Ace’s hat into his face and pushing him away. “You wish.”
Ace chuckles. “C’mon, if you don’t have a deep dark secret longing for me, then you have nothing to worry about, right?” He teases, righting his hat. “I promise, we won’t leave this room. Anything embarrassing you do will stay between us.”
You consider things. If you didn’t acquiesce, Ace was liable to tease you about it in front of the crew. Worse, crewmates would be lining up to be hypnotized, just to prove how silly and fun it was. There wouldn’t be any cruelty in it – it was all in good fun when you ribbed one another, but…
“Swear to me, Portgas D. Ace.” You say, leveling a stern look at him. “On your little brother’s life, that you’ll tell me everything I did, and you won’t breathe a word of whatever happens to anyone else.” You emphasize certain words by poking him in the chest.
Ace takes off his hat and puts his hand on his heart. “I swear.” He replies seriously, giving you a grin after your expression softens.
“Alright then.” You sigh and sit down in front of him. “What do we do?”
“I’m going to start this sound dial so it’s recording, and you’re going to watch the pocket watch.” He says, letting it dangle in front of your eyes, swinging it lazily back and forth. You noticed flickers of light and realized that Ace was adding fire and sparks to the routine as the soft click of the sound dial barely registers in the back of your mind.
Ace’s voice takes on an even, steady cadence, and he talks to you about relaxing and trusting him. Not to worry, just breathe steadily, and keep your eyes on the watch. Don’t think about anything else, just that you’re safe and relaxed and –
All your worries and cares were gone. There was nothing to be concerned about, except answering the voice before you. It was a warm voice and you wanted nothing more than to please it.
“There we go.” Ace says with a smirk. “You with me (Y/N)?”
You nod almost numbly. “Yes, Ace.” Your voice is content and even and a little soft. Your eyes are unfocused, and you have no urge to move your body unless compelled by someone or something else.
“Are you feeling good?” He prompts.
You nod. “Safe.”
“Good, safe is good.” He reaches out to caress your cheek but stops short. You two hadn’t gone into great detail about just how much consent there was to be had. “What do you think of me, (Y/N)?” He asks, almost unintentionally.
“You’re… beautiful.” You say after a moment. You barely register Ace’s eyes going wide, and his face going red. Your unfocused eyes seemed to be looking at a memory as you continued. “The shape your freckles take when you smile, and the glint in your eyes when you’re truly happy. The warmth of your hand on my shoulder is more reassuring than anyone else’s, and even though I can’t ever seem to say it I -.”
“Wait! Wait!” Ace nearly yelps, putting his hands over your mouth. “Oh, by the seas, do not confess to me right now.” He mumbles to himself, his hands on your shoulders. He considers everything for a moment before leaning back and looking at you, fire flickering through his hair despite his efforts.
“Do you want me?” He questions.
“Yes.” You answer without hesitation.
“… Er… how do… you… want me?”
“Looming over me and in control, teasing me until I come undone underneath you, crying and gasping from pleasure, begging you to just rail me until I can’t walk.” You answer evenly. The flat tone in your voice somehow makes it more embarrassing to hear as far as Ace is concerned, but he’s nearly biting through his knuckle to keep from combusting in the middle of the room.
“That’s… explicit.” He admits.
“It has been a frustratingly recurring dream.” You admit flatly.
Ace puts his hands to his face and lets out a sigh. “I’m going to count back from three and snap my fingers and you’ll go back to yourself, understand?”
“Yes, Ace.”
“Three, two, one.” Ace snaps his fingers and watches as you visibly change back. Your eyes come into focus, your muscles tighten a little, and you look around in confusion.
“I really expected to find myself out on the deck or something,” you grumble, giving Ace a crooked smile for a second before you notice his disposition. “… what happened?”
Ace hands you the sound dial, dark eyes nearly looking into your soul. He doesn’t say anything, and just indicates the activation button before he sits back, giving you a little more space than he usually does. You give him an odd look before pressing play and letting the dial repeat what had happened.
What you had said.
What you had almost said.
When you admit the recurring dream you’d been having, you nearly drop the dial. Ace gets up and dims the cabin lights as the recording finishes. He stands as far away from you as he can, but even in the dim light you can see he’s nearly red to his shoulders despite the calm look on his face.
“You can leave, and… and I won’t say a thing about this ever again.” He says quietly. The idea of being further apart after this makes your heart twist, and you’re worried for a second that you’re going to cry, but Ace continues. “But… if you stay… I’ll do my best to make that dream come true.”
He’s looking down at you with a hopeful expression and a crooked smile. You’re not sure what face you’re making back at him, but he seems to take it as a positive because his smile grows. You feel the heat rush through you, and you hide your face in your hands for a moment.
“… stay.” You say quietly. “I… want to… stay.”
Ace grins, and you can feel the shiver slip sweetly down your back.
“Good,” he says, voice low. “I’ve always dreamed about this.”
#birthday request event#portgas d ace#x reader#reader insert#ace x reader#Dear Mungbean - I hope you appreciate this gift \o/#it didn't go where I had meant#so it's much cuter and fluffier#but it was just so easy and the words came really quick#so I really enjoyed doing it =D thank you for giving me something different to write <3#one piece drabble
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ummmm the blurb prompt "i dont think you'll last much longer, dont you?" with yuen pls fhshdhshdsh idk if that's taken or not yet but at least me say it thru the asks ><)
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), villain!fem!reader, fuck or die, coercion, dub con ( for usui ) and consensual turned noncon ( for reader ), rough sex, overstimulation to blackout mention, murder threats, all characters featured are aged 18+
𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3
“I truly hope all of that cock isn’t just for show,” you’d examined the man that stood before you, stripped of his garb, admired every ridge in his abdomen, every rolling hill of muscle in his arms and legs. and, you’d nearly swooned at the sight of his cock— it lay limp at the moment, kissing his right thigh, thick and long, with a sparse bed of silver hair at the sturdy base. but the real question wasn’t if his cock was big and beautiful— it was it the devout hostage could use it. “I’ve fucked enough religious men to know they flounder,” you waved your manicured nails in the air, flippantly smacking your crimson pout, “they cum much too soon. You are quite the specimen, but is that all you are?” he doesn’t answer you, his face neither hard nor gentle, but as flat and emotionless as a painting. you sigh, and stand, heels clicking as you saunter over to him, the visage of a lioness stalking a gazelle. you believed him to be weak, helpless ( a severe underestimation that you would pay for dearly ). you grab hold of his face, enjoying the feeling of the softness of his warm, fleshy cheek giving way to your sharpened claws, and he doesn’t so much as make a sound. however, his sharp eyes glowered at you. your voice drops to a sultry whisper. “If you can’t satiate me… your poor Revengers will all die. And I’ll start with the brat.”
you never expected how much you would come to regret provoking him.
“F—fuck!”
it was all you could muster— a broken word, never meant to cross such pure lips as the ones you were meant to possess, but you couldn’t bite your tongue. your nails bit and scrounged at the sheets, tearing at the fabric as your eyes roll back.
you couldn’t have expected his hips to be so powerful, so mechanic and precise in their thrusting. aside from his breathing getting ragged above you, he made little noise. a faint sigh of pleasure as your walls gripped him particularly tight, if the swollen head of his cock battered a nerve bundle, but that was it.
“S—slow down!”
but he wasn’t.
Usui had both of his hands on the mattress, his forearms scraping against your hips as he keeps himself firmly leveled behind you, the force of his rutting jostling you about underneath you. you could only hear your own screams, and the sound of your slick slapping against his taut, lower abdomen each time your body ricocheted back to smash your ass against him.
“I’ve already cum three times!” you reach underneath your own body, to slip your hand between your thighs and push your fingertips against his legs as he plowed into you, “You’re going to r-ruin my c—cunt!” you could feel your pussy drooling cum on to your wrist, and you mewled, eyelids fluttering. you couldn’t tell if all of the essence belonged to you.
if it didn’t, then Usui had already cum, too, but showed no signs of even slowing his brutal pace.
“Was I not meant to satisfy you, High Priestess?” Usui’s voice is surprisingly level, despite the ferocity at which he fucked you. his head drops, lips coasting along the shell of your ear as he whispers in a raspy breath, “You don’t seem satiated just yet. Your cunt still milks me, your back still arches to accept my pounding down on you.” your eyes roll back as he speak, head rolling against your shoulders, and jaw slack. helpless, little whimpers for mercy escape your swollen lips, in tandem with small, spit bubbles. “Your body still begs to be conquered like this, even if your mind says you can’t take another inch. Until you can no longer lift your ass up to meet the weight of my thrust, I don’t think you’re truly satisfied.” the sheer skill of Usui’s love was enough to send you over the edge, but now the relentless nature in which he keeps you there is too much for you to handle. the never ending plowing of his body into yours, and the way the thick tip of his cock seems to barrel through to assault your most sensitive clusters of raw nerves, has you swirling in an abyss of unbridled euphoria.
“Y—you— going to… r—ruin—“
each time your body sucks his cock in to the hilt, you spasm beneath him, fucked to your limit and beyond.
Usui seems neither overjoyed nor annoyed by your protests, but his pace doesn’t change, his body hunkering closer to your back, rubbing firm muscle against it. “I don’t think you’ll last much longer, will you? ” he asks; if he were trying to taunt you, you couldn’t tell. “Your pleasure has already overridden your mind, but it’s about to break your body, as well. You’re going to black out.” his voice was like a swaddle of warm, engulfing your cloudy mind, and you shake your head— losing your words completely. for the first time, you could hear the hint of amusement in his tone, as if there were a ghost of a smile on his lips as they formed the syllables he whispers in your ear, “There will come a time, my dear Priestess, that someone you’ve wronged will bite the gold for you. And I will force you to repent for all of your wicked acts. Remember that when your body goes limp beneath mine, and your vision darkens. I will kill you for this one day.”
#usui yuen#usui Yuen x reader#usui Yuen x you#usui Yuen smut#yuen usui#yuen usui x reader#yuen usui x you#yuen usui smut#revenger#revenger x reader#revenger anime#revenger x you#revenger smut
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hi there! so this is kinda related to your “a confession” imagine so if you don’t wanna do this request i totally understand!! but i was wondering if you would be down to write a hurt/comfort imagine with eddie? the reader has a fear of intimacy and vulnerability due to past trauma of being used by people. so when the reader and eddie are having a very soft and romantic moment, reader just kinda crumbles in front of him bc omg ???? someone is actually being gentle and loving with them and reader just can’t handle it, but eddie is super loving and patient with them, reminding the reader that they are safe with him and helps to ground the reader. just overall fluff at the end with caring eddie :)) thank you so much <3
dear anon!!! thank you sm for this request, i truly love writing soft eddie so this was a pleasure to write. soft eddie heals my heart, so i hope you enjoy
premise: when Eddie surprises the reader with a romantic stargazing date, reader can't help but to get overwhelmed at the intimate gesture
paring: Eddie Munson x reader
warnings: subtle mentions of rape and abusive relationships, panic attack, smoking, drinking (wine) (for the purpose of this, they are 21 +), some cursing, kissing
category: hurt/comfort, angst and fluff
word count: 3k
I decided to take the route of reader being in an abusive/non-consensual relationship so just wanted to give an extra tw for that. It’s not explicitly mentioned, but eluded to
trust and stargazing - eddie munson x reader
“Eddie can you please tell me where we’re going?” You begged from where you were sat in the passenger seat of Eddie’s van.
“No, I can’t. It wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew, now would it sweatheart?”
“Okay fine but is the blindfold necessary?” You asked, adjusting the makeshift blindfold tied snug around your head, which was actually Eddie’s black bandana. You couldn’t quite make out the terrain but the smooth road had turned to gravel, that you were sure of.
“Yes, completely necessary,” Eddie said, you couldn’t see him, but you knew he had a wide grin on his face just from the tone of his voice. You felt his hand reach over and grasp yours. “Just trust me babe.”
After a few more minutes you felt the van come to a stop as Eddie shifted into park. He opened his door and quickly made his way to your side, opening the door and grabbing your hand to help lead you out of the van.
“Okay, just keep holding my hand,” Eddie said as he led you away from the van. With your sight prohibited, you were overly aware of your other senses. You could feel a cool breeze, sending a shiver up your spine. You also heard a faint rustling sound - almost likle water. You guessed you were at some sort of body of water. The quarry? Maybe Lover’s Lake?
Eddie slowly came to a stop and went behind you to remove your blindfold. You could feel his gentle fingers, delicately undoing the knot. The sensation of his fingers in your hair sent another shiver up your spine. You hoped he didn’t notice.
“And here we are,” Eddie said, a non-egotistical pride in his voice as he stepped back beside you now.
You gasped, taking in the scene before you. You were right, you were at Lover’s Lake. A blanket was laid flat on the ground just off the shoreline. A few pillows from Eddie’s bed and his large blanket were strewn about, along with a bottle of wine, two glasses, a box from your favorite bakery from downtown, and a bouquet of pink roses mixed with baby’s breath, wrapped in an iridescent cellophane.
“Eddie you didn’t have to do all this,” you said, feeling your eyes begin to prick with tears.
Eddie knew you were having a rough week. You chalked it up to having a rough few days at work. Rude customers was all. But Eddie wasn’t so sure that was it. He didn’t want to push you or badger you. He wanted to plan a little date, something to cheer you up, to try and help you take your mind off of whatever was bothering you.
You and Eddie had been dating for just over a month. The relationship was fun and new and exciting. But also scary. You were still very shy around Eddie, straying away from his touches, tearing you eyes away from him if contact prolonged more than five seconds. Eddie assumed you were just shy and reserved, a common trait for anyone in a new relationship. However you knew the real reason, but you chose to push those nagging thoughts aside as you focused your attention back to your thoughtful boyfriend.
“I know,” Eddie said moving closer to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. “But you deserve it. I know you’ve had a tough week and I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you.”
You could have broken down with that sentence alone. No one had gone out of their way to so something to thoughtful like this for you before you.“Thank you Eddie, really,” you said as you picked up the bouquet to admire its beauty, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen. “This is so sweet.”
“C’mon, let’s sit down. We can drink this wine and eat these cookies and then we can stargaze. I may or may not have stolen Henderson’s telescope and it may or may not be in the back of my van right now.”
You let out a hearty laugh, plopping down next to Eddie as he poured the wine carefully into your glass. “He’s going to kill you when he realizes his telescope is missing.”
“Oh I know,” Eddie said, pouring his own glass of wine and taking a small sip.
You settled into a comfortable silence, listening as the soft waves of the lake crashed to the shore. It was a light and calming sound, one that comforted you as you tried to slow your heart. You told yourself it was just jitters, being on this romantic date with Eddie. It was jitters, nervous and excited and happy jitters.
“Hey, you okay, sweetheart?”
“Oh yeah, fine. Just listening to the lake.”
“It’s nice, huh?”
“Yeah real nice.”
Eddie knew you were distracted. He couldn’t be sure but he had a hunch that whatever was bothering you this week was still plaguing your mind now. He was still relatively new to this relationship thing. He wanted to be there but he didn’t exactly know how.
“C’mon, let’s look at the stars,” Eddie offered leaning back onto his elbows, encouraging you to lay next to him.
You were hesitant but also so eager to get closer to Eddie. You wanted nothing more than to feel his soft touches, his hands rest in yours, cool and calloused from years of playing guitar. You wanted to feel his heart beat against yours. You wanted to be closer to him but yet you hesitated. You wanted that more than anything but your mind would not afford you peace. Thoughts lingered in the back of your head. Bad thoughts. Thoughts of doubt. Doubt that you could trust Eddie. Doubt that he would take advantage of you. Doubt that he was just using you, buttering you up with wine and your favorite cookies and flowers just to get something more. To use and discard you, just like someone before.
But you knew that Eddie was not him, not your ex. You knew he was a soft and gentle soul who longed to take care of you. Eddie had been nothing but loving and supportive toward you since beginning your relationship. You trusted Eddie. Trusted him with your life, but there were parts of your brain. Deep and dark. Ugly and twisted and damaged parts of your brain that made you think otherwise.
But you ignored them as you immersed yourself into his presence, taking a small bit out of the sugar cookie. You ignored the way your gut lurched as you laid down and you rested your head on Eddie’s chest, as his hand wrapped across your shoulder, gently rubbing up and down your arm. This isn’t your ex. This is Eddie. You are safe.
“So how was your day Eds?” You asked, forcing your mind to distract itself. You wanted to submerge yourself in Eddie. He was so good for you. You knew all of your fears and anxieties would melt away if you just talked to him. Being around him made you better.
You were settled into him now. Resting you head on his chest, taking in his scent of cedar and stale cigarettes. And maybe something more. It was a scent that brought you immense comfort. Like home. Eddie wrapped his arm protectively around your shoulder now, rubbing up and down your arm.
“It was good,” He sighed in contentment. “I wrote a new song, I can’t wait to play it for you.”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” you beamed, over at him, for a moment before returning your gaze to the night sky. It was the perfect night to stargaze. There wasn’t a cloud in sight, and your were far away enough from town that the street lights didn’t outshine the stars.
“I missed you today. I hate being away from you.”
“I know,” you said. “I hate it too, babe. Thank you for this,” you said gesturing to the set up Eddie had organized.
“Of course, anything for my girl. Any chance I get to be with you makes me the happiest. Ever.”
Your eyes connected with Eddie's for a moment before his lips met yours softly. He was so gentle with you. He pulled you closer to him but with such precise care, as if you were made of glass and would break it he applied too much pressure. You could tase the wine on his lips and the faint reminisce of a cigarette he must have smoked before coming to pick you up. His tongue ran across your lips gently and you hummed at the sensation as your parted you lips, deepening the kiss. His hand had moved to your cheek now, grasping your face and rubbing your cheekbone softly with his thumb, occasionally brushing against your eyelashes. After another moment Eddie pulled away and you both sighed, slightly breathless.
He looked at you, his big brown doe eyes, filled with so much love and sincerity. He began by peppering your nose with a small peck, then moved down to your cheek and then your forehead, causing you to giggle as he left a trail of tiny kisses on your face.
“I love you, y/n,” he said, sounding somewhat breathless, you could feel his heart beating against you.
You felt yourself begin to crack. You really didn’t want to cry in front of Eddie. Not after he planned this entire date, not after he kissed you like that, with so much passion yet so gently and lovingly. Not after he has just said “I love you” for the first time. Yet you couldn’t stop yourself when your eyes filled with tears and you let out a small sob.
“Woah, h-hey, I’m sorry!” Eddie said, sitting you both up gently and putting some distance between you. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Shit I didn’t mean to freak you out by saying that so soon, its just -”
You cut Eddie off with another sob, “No, I love you too,” you said, voice taught with emotion.
Eddie looked horrified now. He wasn’t sure how you sobbing and saying “I love you” for the first time correlated, but he pushed those thoughts aside and scooted closer to you know. He wrapped a protective arm around you shoulder, rubbing your upper back softly.
“Why are you crying? Are you sure I didn’t hurt you or something?”
“No, no never.” You paused, taking a deep unsteady breath, trying to gather yourself. “Its just that - no one has ever been so gentle with me.” You cried, bringing your knees up to your chest and resting your head on them. “I’m not used to it,” you said, voice meek and barely audible, making Eddie’s heart feel like a piece was breaking off, crumbing to the bottom of his stomach.
“Honey please talk to me,” He said, large hand rubbing up and down you back now, “What’s got you saying that?”
Your upper lip trembled as you continued to bury you head into your knees. You gathered yourself, taking a deep breath, knowing that you were about to open up and tell Eddie the hard stuff.
“I dated a guy,” you said, looked up, pausing to wipe the stray tears that had made their way down to you chin.
“It was a while ago, like a year, year and a half,” you said wincing, not wanting to hurt Eddie by taking about your past relationship. “He uh … he wasn’t like you. He didn’t treat me the way you do.”
Eddies eyes widened as he listened to you, a park of his eyes growing dark as he spoke. “Did he hurt you, baby?” Eddie could almost feel his own eyes filling with tears at the sight of your distress.
You could only nod you head, unable to speak for a moment as more tears rushed from your eyes. “N-not physically. I mean sorta. He crossed some physical boundaries I had. He knew I wasn’t ready but he forced me-”
Now Eddie was the one cutting you off, “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it. I know, I get it.”
“Yeah,” it was all you could say. Letting out a harsh sob as Eddie pulled you tight into his chest.
“I”m so sorry,” he cooed, holding your head protectively against his chest as you cried. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
You cried, it was all you could do. You cried for the pain your ex had caused you. You cried for the way he made you fear being intimate and vulnerable. You cried because no one had ever been so caring as the way Eddie was caring for you right now. Holding you in his lap, slightly swaying back and forth, whispering softly into your ear, “I won’t hurt you, I won’t let that happen to you. You are so strong, y/n. So damn strong.”
You began to feel your breathing slipping from your control, your chest rising and falling rapidly from the sobs that were wracking your body. Fearing you had revealed too much, that you would scare Eddie away.
“Woah, hey breath, y/n. Just breathe, sweetheart.” Eddie took you hand and placed it on his chest. “Feel my heart. Try to follow my breathing, baby.” He inhaled a slow and deep breath and you tried your best to mimic it, but your lungs felt like they were on fire.
“I can’t,” You cried, chest heaving more rapidly now.
“Yes, yes you can, breathe. Just breathe,” Eddie said in an extraordinarily calming and even tone, still clasping your hand against his heart, his eyes looking deep into your soul.
You followed along as Eddie took another large inhale, this time you were able to follow him as he exhaled. You repeated the process a few times, gradually gaining your breath.
“I’m sorry,” you sighed, finally getting your breathing a back to normal.
“What, why would you have anything to be sorry for?”
“For all the times I’ve been emotionally blocked off. And all the times I have avoided being close with you - intimate with you,” you sputtered out, cheeks heating up with embarrassment.“It wasn’t you and it wasn’t because I don’t want to. Believe me. It was just the memories from him. My mind would take me back to a dark place and that scared me.”
“Sweetheart don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for, truly.”
“No I do, Eddie. I’m sorry for freaking out, I didn’t want that to happen but… But in my mind that could have gone very differently just now. But you were so gentle and soft with me. And, and I’m just not used to it. I’m damaged.”
“Hey. Stop that. None of that,” Eddie said, taking your face in both of his hands. “You are not damaged. None of this if your fault. It was that asshole, not you. Please believe that,” he spoke with sincerity, causing you to tear up again.
“I want you to know that you’re safe with me,” Eddie continued, still holding you. “Always. You don’t have to be sorry … about the intimacy. If you don’t want to then I don’t want to okay? I would never ever make you do something you don’t feel good about, alright? I always want you to feel comfortable around me. I’m sorry if bringing you here implied I wanted something more. I know Lover’s Lake has that reputation but I just wanted to take you somewhere nice quiet so we could just be with each other.”
“Okay,” you sighed, feeling as if invisible cinder blocks had been lifted from your shoulders. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, really. This is basic human decency, y/n. You deserve to be treated better than that. You deserve to be treated like a queen. Please, please trust me when I say that. That that’s how I want to treat you. I don’t want you for your body, I want you for your soul. That’s where the real connection is. Not that you’re not the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on, but you get my point.”
You nodded into his chest, hands going into the back of his long hair. You were running your hands through his curls, cheeks flushing, heart absolutely melting at the statement “I don’t deserve you,” You felt like you could cry again.
“No, don’t say that. I think we’re very deserving of each other.”
You only nodded, feeling at a loss for words.
“Hey why don’t we lay back down, the night is still young, we can stargaze,” Eddie suggested. “Unless you’d rather just go home, I wouldn’t blame you at all.”
“No I don’t want to go, I want to be here with you.”
“Okay, c’mere then,” Eddie said with a grin as he laid back down on the blanket, the pillows cradling his head as he pulled you close to him once more, draping the other larger, fluffier blanket on top of the two of you. You settled back into his chest, entangling your legs together, Eddie’s hand resting on the small of your back.
“This is what has been bothering this week, Eds,” You said, not wanting to rehash your emotions but just needing to get one last thing off your chest. “When I said I was having a hard week, it wasn’t because of work, it was because of my ex. I saw him. From a distance at the grocery store. He didn’t see me, but it brought back a lot of negative feelings. I sorta caved in on myself I guess. I just wanted to tell you.”
Eddie paused, thinking over your words for a moment before speaking. “I want to you know that if you ever need to talk, if anything is ever bothering you, I’m here. And I’m ready to listen. Or I’m ready to just sit in complete silence with you. I just want you to know that I'm here and that I love you. So much.”
“I love you too, Eddie. Thank you for this, for everything."
#stranger things#stranger things fic#stranger things 4 fic#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x reader fluff#eddie munson x reader angst#eddie munson x reader hurt/comfort#eddie munson#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fic
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Celebrating 2.7k followers 🎉
This little fun blog has been only a year old but there has been so much love and support with amazing likes, reblogs, and replies! Despite hectic schedule delays, unexpected changes in my life, and oftentimes just me being an airhead, this blog has reach a little over 2.7k followers which I’m incredibly grateful for!
As a celebration for this great milestone, I’m OPENING UP my request box and taking in requests for 27 hours
Starting Friday 7am PDT until Saturday 10am PDT, I will be taking in as many requests in that period. And no matter what, I will do my darndest to complete that before this year ends!
These are some tips and rules for requests. I try to be as open-minded as possible but I need to set my boundaries.
- Keep it to 4 characters per request
- As a personal rule, my posts only take up to 4 characters, so I don’t want to have to sacrifice a character if there’s more than 4 requested character. However, there is no rule to request the same trope but different characters
- My rules still applies
- On my pinned info post on my blog, I have a set of rules that includes tropes and topics I don’t write for or feel too limited in knowledge or experience to write properly. If you request something that breaks my rules, I would have to ignore it. I’m sorry but these are my boundaries.
- a quick rundown of no-nos: no teacher-student relationships, smut, hardcore yandere content (kidnapping, torturing, brainwashing, non-consensual acts, etc), and any topics that a Chinese cisfemale would not know much about experience-wise (race-related issues, specific gender experiences, disability-related issues, etc). The last one is me not being sure that I can truly write about a life that I can’t truly represent given who I am. I do not wish to step over the boundaries of others.
Those are my rules for this grand reopening of my request box. Any requests that comes in before Friday 7am or after Saturday 10am will unfortunately be ignored.
Thank you all for the support and love you’ve given me and I hope to do this again, perhaps for 30 hours next time 👀
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst scenarios#twst imagines#twisted wonderland imagines#2.7k event
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So I've been seeing a ton of submas art with the cool triangle pupils and I LOVE IT. Sometimes artists will make Emmet's white, and while I love that too bc DOPE character design, I always think "he does look a bit like he's blind."
So I guess my brain cooked up a new AU!
Blinding Radiance AU
After Ingo goes missing, Emmet does his very best to find leads. It doesn't take him too long to decide to turn to Arceus for help. Or to fistfight, he doesn't not care which. After months of trying, of being unstoppable in his research... He makes a breakthrough, somehow. Im still trying to think of how. Maybe some wild ultra beast and wormhole lore, maybe another legendary, but he finds his way to Arceus's personal realm.
Unfortunately, human eyes weren't meant to see that. Emmet is basically instantly blinded. Hence the white pupils. Arceus actually feels quite bad about this (since this is my Arceus and it actually does care about humanity and the Pokémon of the world, even if it can do surprisingly little)
As a consolation for inadvertently taking his sight, Arceus removes some of the memories of being blinded from Emmet... and leaves him with the knowledge that in a year's time, Ingo will come home.
Emmet is sent back to Gear Station, and his life continues. There is an OBVIOUS adjustment. Elesa helps a lot, but is so relieved that Emmet seems actually much more himself.
Emmet doesn't remember how he lost his sight. But he DOES remember speaking to Arceus and hearing that his brother will be back. Some people believe him. Elesa does because he speaks with such conviction about this, like he truly does KNOW something they do not. Most people who are close to Emmet believe him due to this.
The world at large is more skeptical. Some think he lost his mind a bit when he lost his sight. Buy most people are just glad he's healing and feels happy again. Maybe if he's wrong when the time comes, he'll have gained good coping mechanisms!
After adjusting, he does end up going back to work. Sure he can't drive the trains or direct them but he can still do his other boss duties and run double battles all the same! Everyone has him take it slow at first, it's a big adjustment! But he figures it out verrry quickly.
His galvantula becomes his seeing eye spider. It has six of them, it can spare two! It learns very quickly bc it's always been incredibly in tune with Emmet. Archeops and Eelektross were considered for the job, but neither really walks on the ground and thus might miss uneven footing and stuff like that. He also gets a white cane; I’ve read a few conflicting things via google (thaaaanks google really trust you for info) about color coding. Originally, I was going to have it be white with red stripes and line up with the pattern on Emmet’s coat when held upright to uphold his traffic cone vibes. But it seems that prooobably would mean he’s got hearing loss too, though some sites said ‘totally blind and/or deaf’ so I don’t actually know! Seems to also vary by country! So let’s just stick with white, at least that seems to have a consensus.
While Emmet doesn’t have hearing that functions any better than any other humans’, he’s used to listening for nuance. For using his ears rather than his eyes to pick up on his brother’s emotions. So he would be DAMN good at reading people. And his perception of touch is already somewhat heightened; time to use that to his advantage!
So yeah! Emmet gets along just fine! And he is happy, because he knows his brother is safe and will return to him. He just has to be patient.
...
Ingo does come home, just when Arceus said he would. Safe and sound, he’s deposited in Gear Station. He finds it strange, that he recognizes Emmet before Emmet recognizes him. He approaches, unable to form words around the lump in his throat, and his brother (because that is his twin brother!) doesn’t react...?
He only gets a reaction when he finally reaches him and hugs him, and even then it’s just a jolt. To Emmet, this is stress inducing. No one had done this to him because they KNEW not to... But then he hears the voice, and he can hardly dare hope...
“Ingo?” he asks, and it’s then that Ingo sees Emmet’s face and realizes that he can’t see. “Has it been a year? No, this can’t be real.” Even after hearing Arceus itself, Emmet did hold some doubts...
But all of that vanishes when Ingo takes Emmet’s hands in his and puts them on either side of his face. A moment, a bright recognition from Emmet, and then
“You are Ingo. No one else would have such a stupid hairstyle.”
And immediately as if on instinct “we are IDENTICAL!!”
Cue laughing and tears and the usual sibling squabbles. Emmet patting his brother’s hat and shoulders and discovering the rips in his uniform like “what did you do to your hat and coat?!” and just. General bullshittery!
I have no clue what would happen after that! They’d probably just go back to being the subway master duo, happy and good at their jobs lol
Whew that was a lot of typing. Take a sketch of Emmet in this AU that gave me a lot of trouble!!
#submas#submas angst#reunion#submas au#emmet#ingo#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#blinding radiance au#dunno where this came from!!#i just think it is sweet!#a wholesome au for the most part!!!#my cat tried to nap on my art while I was drawing that Emmet#nap on my ARM I meant#juice why#also plz let me know if anything is wholly inaccurate#i did a little research but not a ton since this isn't wicked fleshed out!!
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SO ANOTHER CHAI X KALE RAMBLE TURNED HALF DRABBLE I GUESS
Consensual half choking
Kale is bottom and he loves when Chai visits the office
You can kinda tell my mind went all over the place I guess but here just dunno enjoy?
❤️
insert evil laughing gif xD man can you just imagine Chai sauntering into Kale's office though.
Kale swallows thickly and watches him, his body is drawn to him, it's like an addiction, he wants to go to him, feel his warmth , his hands, but he stays seated, good and obedient.
He has nothing he can bribe Chai with to be there, Chai could and can leave any time he wants and that's what scares him and makes him feel completely wonderfully weak, in a way no one else ever has before.
He has to submit to this being, if it were anyone but Chai he’d obliterate them, but he’d seen what he could do, for all the times he called him a defect...he was...had been jealous. Kale had made so many complicated plans and still...he’d lost because Chai had always been to the point, made the best of what he had and made to admit Chai’s talent was natural... wonderful and unique...one of a kind.
Chai had told him he’d noticed the musical puns he’d been using specifically on him, a fleeting moment when he’d visited him in the prison Korsica was keeping Chai in at the time , Kale had blushed and tried to deny it at first until the idiot had told him he thought it was cute...they’s shared a kiss and he’d felt like someone with their first crush the way he’d turned from confident to bashful in matter a of moments under Chai’s watchful stare, the calls they’d already shared...
(NGL kinda wanna ramble write a prison cell ramble about these two)
He hadn’t aimed the robots lasers at Chai, he’d aimed them at Korsica.
Had he fired her for failing to keep Chai in place where he could reach him whenever he wanted, or had he been jealous she was so close to what was his? He figured Chai would survive, he seemed to have a knack for surviving the impossible...of course he called that night just to make sure.
Watching Chai move in closer he still couldn't believe that in that last moment as he'd been flying through the air, sure of what would be his end , despite all the flirting and the secret kisses , the hidden dark corners where desire had taken over them and they'd become one , hurried moments of passion he'd always seen one of them dying as if it was in inevitable truth...
But that day he'd felt something grab onto him and pull him back before Chai’s feet in a crumpled heap and before he’d passed out he’d heard Chai shouting at Peppermint.
‘You were just going to let him die...he’s your brother... he’s not perfect...you really think you’re better than him? You weren’t even gonna give him a chance to be better! I changed why can’t he?’
Finally...he thought as he passed out, someone cared about him.
It was still a marvel after everything that Chai had shown him mercy...he’d never told Chai that a part of him had been alright with the idea of dying so long as it’d been by Chai’s hand...his Rockstar truly had no idea how much he was committed to him even more so after that moment when the world had turned black and he’d awoken to find him sleeping by his bed side and holding his hand.
Kale couldn’t help but smile, god Chai always seem to sleep in the most uncomfortable positions.
Now here he was again waiting patiently for him, watching his every movement, that beat in his step...he remembered also the first time Chai had shown him a trick that nearly blew his mind...and knew he’d found the perfect drug.
Something called a beat thrust that he’d never fully understand but when Chai hit it perfectly his back would arch and legs would tighten around his lovers waist he’d torn through all the layers of clothing the first time Chai had pulled it off and cum embarrassingly early, while leaving scratches that thankfully hadn’t been deep along Chai’s back.
Now Chai was kneeling on his chair, one knee between his thighs and metal fingers playfully around his neck
Placing small lingering kisses along his cheek bone along his jaw and whispering against his ear
“You miss me baby?”
Kale had power, money, influences connections, good ones he’d made sure to change to be better after Chai had given him the chance to...and what made him so intoxicating was that Chai wasn’t interested in any of his power, the sole reason he was there was because of him, not for the name or all the treasures that could come with it, it was him and in that truth Kale knew he was Chai’s...and if anyone tried to take him away
...well he might just simply have to kill them... he could have his little group of friends...but there had been a few disappearances...sometimes he wondered if Chai knew...or was that level of idiot cute... nodding as Chai placed his thumb against his bottom lip he answered
“My world is nothing when you’re not in it Chai...you know that, can I kiss you?”
Chai smirked at the breathless voice of his partner and turned Kale’s head to look at him as he playfully booped his nose
“Magic word old man.”
“Please?”
Chai paused a moment and it was those moments Kale loved , those moments Chai made sure he was okay when he was in charge
“Not being too rough am I?”
“No...if you were I’d say that stupid word you made me promise to say.”
“Kale safe words are important.”
“Yes but I’m not saying it so a little rougher if you p-“
Chai’s confidence was back as he forced Kale harder against the chair so that his head tilted back.
“Bruises like last time gorgeous? People will be wondering why you’re wearing scarves in summer Vandelay.”
“None of their business...I want your marks...for the days you can’t be here...”
Kale ground out between clenched teeth, only to then bite his bottom lip , looking up at the younger man with pleading eyes, his hips shifting, eager to get some friction from the knee that was sat between his thighs.
Chai couldn’t help but smirk, looking him up and down slowly, thinking how good Kale looked when he allowed himself to be at his mercy. Leaning forward lips lingering just a breath away.
“Both hands later or just the one today?”
Kale whined trying to close the gap and kiss him only to feel Chai’s grip tighten and keep him in place.
“Just...one today.”
“Good boy, you know I like it when you communicate with me.”
Chai praised him and closed the gap, kissing him slow and steady, eyes closed , he’d missed his taste, the way Kale could grow so desperately hungry for him, feeling Kale’s teeth biting softly at his bottom lip, oh Vandelay was eager today. Pressing his fingers in just enough to mark him, just how he liked, how he wanted, easing enough to let him breathe when he needed to.
Sinking further into the kiss he moaned deeply as he felt those claws finding their way under his clothes and onto his hips, Chai was completely aware of the danger they held and the control Kale had over such power...it was a sin and yet divine all at once, he couldn’t believe how barely a year ago how unhappy they’d been only to find happiness in each other.
Kale thought about how close to death and almost taking over the world he’d been to now , it was almost unreal and dreamlike , if this was a dream he hoped never to wake and he fell repeatedly into Chai’s wants and desires without a fight, he was wanted for him and with that he would submit himself always and willingly to him.
Chai ended up ravishing Kale on his desk, all through a phone meeting, no video calls of course but Kale had to keep his composure, which had failed him in the end, Chai he made him come undone a whimpering mess over the surface of his desk, moaning his lovers name, knees together and the warmth of Chai’s human hand wrapped around his cock as his metal one pulled at his hair, he loved every second and the person on the phone had to pretend like nothing was happening because the meeting was too important to hang up on, breathless with seed dripping from his cock, splashes under the desk , he could feel Chai still in him, long after he’d pulled out, Chai fucked him with what felt like within an inch of his life and he LOVED it.
Here came his favourite part, the soft kisses and tender touches, the comfort that came after the roughness he asked for , the fond cooing and making a fuss of him, clean up and how they would snuggle in his giant office chair for hours until one of them fell asleep, they always made one promise in this that the other would never wake up alone, that a kiss goodbye would be given in a promise of always returning.
The world might know they were together but it was still fun to pretend they were sneaking around just like the first time Chai had ever talked dirty to him...and he'd realised the only way you could spell
Perfect was by spelling it D-e-f-e-c-t , for what was a world without flaws, with out it’s peculiarities? Boring ...that’s what it was and Chai was anything but.❤️
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Where The Dead Forget - Chapter 2
A Hades Patrochilles Canon Divergent Amnesia AU
Fandom: Hades (video game)
Pairing: Achilles/Patroclus (some background ThanZag, MegZag, OrphyEury, etc.)
Rating: M (Chapter 2 Content Warnings: non-explicit consensual sexual content; brief mentions of vomiting and suicidal ideation; violent imagery, particularly a section with imagery evocative of violent sexual assault; depictions of grief and depression just in general) Please check the AO3 tags for more info!
Chapters/Word Count: 2 of 18: 16,483 words (chapter 2: 8,206 words)
Summary: Patroclus drinks from the River Lethe and loses his memories of Achilles. Achilles attempts to woo him all over again, now with personal growth and wisdom on his side. But it turns out not to be so simple when the fame and reputation he acquired in life contrast with the man that he has become as well as the man that Patroclus always saw in him. (Chapter 2 Summary: Achilles & Patroclus’ last moments together. Achilles falls apart, then makes a decision, with a little help from friends.)
Excerpt:
Achilles reached for Patroclus’ face, cupping his cheeks with both hands, guiding his gaze toward his own. He spoke with all the tenderness and reverence he felt for his beloved companion.
“You are enough, Patroclus,” he said. “You always have been. You are the best of men, to my mind. And you are right…. So I will let you go in my guise to save our comrades. You have my blessing.” Achilles pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, as if to seal it.
Patroclus’ returning gaze seemed somber and distant, as though this was not truly what he meant by what he said. Yet his face was full of resignation. He had offered a compromise, and Achilles had accepted it. He nodded.
“There is just one more thing,” Achilles said. “Will you promise me something?”
“What is it?”
“I want you to come back as soon as the Trojans are in retreat… do not attempt to engage them in battle or go near the city… that is for I—for us, to do.” He flashed a grin. “We can’t have you winning the whole war without me, isn’t that so?”
Patroclus’ eyes still seemed distant. “I understand,” he said, his voice impassive. “Of course not.”
“Good. Come, then.”
Read the rest on AO3!
#patrochilles#hades fanfic#hades patrochilles#patroclus#achilles#patchilles#my fics#sorry for turning this tumblr into a fic bot#i keep meaning to reblog my likes but ahaha#anyways how about that hades ii#I’m so excited to meet melinoe#also I’m already imagining inappropriate scenarios with Apollo hadesgame#especially if they also involve achilles p hadesgame and patroclus m hadesgame
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Sunshine Chapter 44
Pairings: Zemo x You Bucky x You
Summary: Falling in love with a villain. This will start sweet and then go very dark.
Tags: Explicit. Mature. Not for minors. Dark. Angst. Knife play. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Self Harm . Vomiting. Nightmares. Sleepwalking. Torture. Smut. Broken Bones. Blood. Injury. Violence. Rough Sex. Rape. Kidnapping. Spanking. Unhealthy Relationships. Mental Health Issues. Anal Sex. Orgasm Delay. Fear. Blow Jobs. Sexual Violence. Suicide Attempt. Reference To Domestic Violence. Sleepwalking. Memory Loss. Gen Violence. Threats. Manipulation. Manipulative Relationship. Murder. Death. Loss Of Parents. Implied Alcohol Abuse. Threats Of Rape. Non Consensual Drug Use. Emotional Manipulation. Gaslighting.
I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here. I’m staring down myself, counting up the years. Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead. I think I’m moving but I go nowhere, I’ve become what I can’t be. Stop and stare, you start to wonder why you’re here not there. And you’d give anything to get what's fair, but fair isn’t what you really need. Lyrics owned by One Republic.
–
You felt as if you were being pulled up and away, dragged unwillingly. Your head swam as you reluctantly opened your eyes. Seeing a figure obscured by the blaring sun behind them, lungs being ripped open as the dust was ripped out of you in a red haze. Pushing weakly against the figure to stop the torment, only to feel them trembling, sobbing at the discovery of you.
Maria.
She really was your guardian angel, mistaking the ring behind her for the sun, when in fact it was the moon, shining behind her, a fitting halo. The light in the darkness. Before you could speak, form a coherent thought, the ground beneath you started to shudder and shift around you. You couldn’t get your bearings yet your limbs moved, feet planted on Victor which was so disrespectful, you wanted to reach down to him, but your body wouldn’t allow it, craning your head, it snapped back, looking up towards the sky. The only thought in your mind was the overwhelming urge to climb. To get out. Pushing Maria as the rubble churned, swirled around and rose up. Pulling yourself and Maria up and over the edge, you saw Wanda speaking to a member of the Dora Milaje.
“You can’t sense any life at all?”
“No.” Wanda answered easily, looking right at you. Another overwhelming command came over you, to keep moving, the force was so strong you immediately felt sick. Your legs started to move, but your eyes wouldn’t leave Wanda, she had warped reality so the warrior in front of her couldn’t see what was right in front of her.
“The shield?”
Wanda shook her head, moving her hand to itch her nose, sending the shield that was in her hand flying into the rubble, you watched in awe as it slipped under. Maria faltered next to you. Mechanically almost robotically you both stumbled towards the quin jet, you couldn’t say who was holding the other up. Both collapsing out of sheer exhaustion the moment the destination was reached. Maria’s hands were covered in cuts, bruises, from where she had dug you out, using your arms you attempted to drag yourself towards the front, to find something to clean her wounds. Maria’s breathing became erratic, choking on her own tears, hands failing to grab onto something to ground herself. You tried to speak, truly you did, but your voice couldn't be found, was it that you didn’t have the words to calm her? That you just didn’t have the strength? Wanda swept onto the jet, closing the door shut. Maria’s frantic eyes matched how disorientated you both felt, you took Wanda’s hand and pushed it onto Maria’s head. That only seemed to spur Maria’s panic on and it wasn’t helped by Wanda’s hesitation. Wanting to scream at them both Maria flopped into your arms, bandages floated through the air, wrapping themselves around Maria’s hands. Scarlet eyes met your blackened ones as the jet rose into the sky above everything else.
–
Even you had to admit you were surprised to not wake up in a white room with harsh fluorescent lighting. No consequences for your actions. Were you being forgiven? If you were anyone else you knew it would be a different story. That shock only lasted a moment as your hand instinctively ripped out the needle jabbed into the crook of your elbow. Jerking up you found yourself in a bed. A bed. The softness underneath you felt foreign, hell, laying down to sleep felt wrong. Looking up at the fluids that were being pumped into you, both bags scrawled with Maria’s handwriting. Saline and antibiotics. Flopping back into the bed, recognising the outlay of this particular room you turned expecting to see the collage of photographs adorning her walls. It was blank, empty, because that wasn’t the life you lived, that was another universe, far away. Victor. Your heart lurched, opening your eyes usually meant you were greeted with Victor’s, but he wasn’t here. He wouldn’t be ever again. You had done something awful, unforgivable, irredeemable. You left him behind, although you suspected you didn’t have much choice at the time, those overwhelming urges. Wanda, she forced both you and Maria to power through, when you could both barely function. Heaving yourself to your feet, you were relieved to find yourself in your clothes, caked in mud. Your cloak, sprinkled with dust. Maria left you exactly as you were. You were greeted with a bottle of water and burner phone, again clearly marked and a note telling you to stay in bed.
You were alone, no doombots zooming through the air, no D. The last time you were alone was your wedding night, the nights on the Raft, although you suspected you weren’t ever alone, that anyone was able to just walk into your room. You shrugged off the cloak, but you would never be free of Victor. He opened your eyes and mind to the reality of the world you ignored for so long. You didn't want to be free of him either. Here you were, alive and alone, anyone would expect you to feel something akin to freedom, grateful. You didn’t exactly feel either of those things.
Moving to the ensuite, just to wash the dried dirt from your face, you came across a contact lens case, another note asking you to try them. Maria knew you wouldn’t stay in bed. Quickly deciding on a shower first, you went to pull your t-shirt over your head, something stopped you, something was wrong. Holding your breath you waited for the tell tale signs of movement, for a sound, any sound. Nothing came, because the unease in your body was due to the light, having cleaned yourself for years in the dark, it took a while to realise what had got your back up. Collecting your cloak from the floor after you had removed the worst of the dirt, you wrapped it around your form. Yes it was filthy, but you didn’t exactly have many options, at least that’s what you told yourself, not that it gave you a small sense of comfort. Wiping the condensation from the mirror you flicked the light back on, you looked at your reflection, you wondered if anyone had ever looked as hollow as you did, as if there were nothing inside, a void, a black hole, just like your eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, staring at the black abyss you had to agree, festering away, swallowing all of the light. Slipping the lenses into your eyes, you took a quick glance at the mirror. You wished an emotion would stir within you. Oddly you didn’t feel as broken as you knew you should be, was this indifference? Apathy?
Leaving your temporary bedroom, paranoid you checked the locks on the door, though you could see that the security here was slightly more high tech that your average place. You wandered the empty apartment, wondering where Maria was, she didn’t leave a note detailing that. You stumbled into her ensuite looking for clues, coming across a small bathtub, you turned on the tap. You breathed in and out slowly as steam filled the air, adding in some bath salts that promised to aid aching muscles, you managed to smile at that, as if you could feel such a thing. You poured in a healthy amount of lavender bubble bath, which claimed to be calming. You almost laughed at that one.
After shutting off the light again, you slowly sunk your decrepit body into the water. Your body damaged beyond repair, the body that was never truly your own. You briefly wondered if this was how Bucky felt once he knew he was free, that his body and mind were his own again, if only you felt that. You recalled how happy you were when you took his pain. Was it this temporary for him? Did he regret it all as much? Of allowing everything to happen? Was the humiliation the same? Of everything that was done to him. The shame. The same shame that haunted Bucky, but no-one could take it away, not this time. You thought of the thousands of black widows walking around, all of the women who endured the red room, tortured, controlled. Nebula, Gamora, tormented by their own father, torn apart, they all survived longer than you. Three birthdays. Just three measly days.
You should feel happy, maybe you really did need the shots of endorphins. Victor made sure you were happiest when you used your powers. The pleasure, the glow, to try and make you as happy as he was with power coursing through him. You never quite reached his euphoria. There are so many words to describe your situation, yet you couldn’t find them. Was Victor's lesson that you belonged in a prison? Destined to be controlled in some way? Nothing more than a commodity to be passed around. Always wanted by others, not for who you were but what you could do, for your power, to never live on your own terms, or by your own rules. What was the most important lesson you should have taken from him? You couldn't ask. There was much to unpack, somehow you knew it would be short lived. Mainly because Maria loudly announced she was back before you heard the front door unlock. You weren’t hard to find, there were so many scents filling the air anyone else would have a headache. Ensuring the bubbles covered your form, you squinted against the light Maria turned back on.
“Where is Rebecca?” You asked softly, even though you both knew it was nothing short of a demand.
“Putnam-” Maria answered, there was no awe for your survival this time, just the underlying tone of caution. “About an hour away, if every other car disappeared." Maria huffed out something that was meant to be laughter, her attempt at a joke. You waited years for that location, and it was so easy, so simple to get it, now Victor wasn’t at your side. Prime real estate even you had to admit, the one place on earth Victor couldn’t find. New York. Coincidently close to many other enhanced individuals, Dr Strange, Spiderman and Bucky all close enough to subdue you, although you imagine Zemo would have used the word protection. Then Bucky moved in with Sarah and you were shipped to Louisiana.
“Must feel good to get that off.” Maria jerked her head down to your cloak. It didn’t you felt lost without it. When she moved to touch it, you flinched and she baulked.
“Sorry.” You said without heart, you could understand her being on edge, but the cloak was the only thing that was your’s, you didn’t want anyone to mess with it. At least you knew why you cared so little about your possessions, because you didn’t ever really have any, you knew not to get attached. Your parents hardly provided you with anything, leaving you alone, for days, sometimes weeks on end. You supposed you were meant to be their ticket to climbing the ranks of Hydra, but you didn’t bear the fruit they wanted, you failed them. Not that they liked you much before they abandoned you, a prerequisite of Hydra.
“You didn't try the contacts?” Maria asked, you unceremoniously slid them both out, dropping them into that water. No more hiding, a glaring visual of what remained, the one scar that could be seen by all, a reminder of the monster they created. And as much as you tried to believe that they all turned you into whatever it was you were now, you knew that wasn’t true. You knew in your heart, you formed the monstrosity that you had become.
“Did you find my brother?” You all but whispered. You assumed he must have had the same potential as you, given to Hydra before you were born, he didn’t make it. Your parents in their infinite wisdom decided to prepare you for what was to come. Hydra held off so you would survive. Maria’s horror hadn’t quite shifted from her face, by asking that one question you confirmed, that you remembered. You remembered it all. He was more than likely dumped in an unmarked grave, discarded. At the very least you could say this all ended with you. Rebecca wasn’t enhanced. Maria didn't seem to want to answer, which meant that no, he hadn’t been found, but then who had the time to scour earth for a body only you cared about.
“Do you have any bigger towels?” You asked, changing the subject, your fingers had pruned some time ago and as much as you wanted to put the cloak back on, you had to learn to live without it. That and you were clean, well as clean as you could ever feel. Maria shuffled back in with a few towels. Turning herself away from you, you waited to check she wasn’t going to turn around, closing your eyes wrapping the first towel around your shoulders, a second one around your waist, in an attempt to hide the gruesome sight underneath, Maria had placed some fresh clothing under a third towel. Maria turned back with her face as pale as a ghost, she saw something, reaching out to your leg, your hand flung out to stop her, gripping her wrist far too harshly, opening your hand just a moment later hearing her gasp. You didn’t know if you had developed an aversion to touch or if you longed for something kind, for something without an agenda. For someone to like you, not for your power, but for just who you are, or were. Her movement at least aided you in understanding what she got a glimpse of, not the metal fused into your skin, no, your other leg. A wall of honour, etched with the names of the men that laid their claim on you. Evidence of their crimes. Not that you needed the physical scars, the unseen ones ran deeper. You wouldn’t talk about it, you weren't sure any words would leave your mouth if you tried. You wouldn’t even allow yourself to think about it. It would take a lifetime to forget and then some.
“I’ll get the regeneration machine.” Maria nodded profusely and it was a sweet sentiment, if you didn’t loathe that machine, to you it was just another way to conceal reality. It came with its own limitations just like you, it only healed fresh wounds.
“You want to flay my skin?” You said dead pan. “All of it?” You dug a bit deeper. Maria pushed her lips together in an attempt to stifle whatever sound was going to come out. “Where have you been all day?” You raised the pitch of your voice attempting to distract her, you couldn’t deal with any upset, you didn't want to self flagellate, and this was dangerously toeing the line.
“Someone has to dig for your body.” Maria half laughed. She was making a show of still looking for you, so no one else would, they would come up empty handed and you assumed to stop Zemo specifically looking. You smiled gratefully at her and excused yourself to get dressed. You moved slowly across the room to peer down out of the window. Something as simple as a window, you could look out and see life. Know exactly where you were. Maria announced she was going to bed as she was exhausted, you lied and said you would after you changed the sheets and finished the fluids she insisted on, assuring her that you were just fine. The thought of sleep made you uneasy, your sleep had been chemically or magically induced and you slept upright. It was something you needed to work out, there was so much you needed to work out.
–
Leaning against the window frame you watched the city that doesn’t sleep, much like yourself. The beeping of horns, the police sirens, the laughter. Watching what you supposedly saved. There had been so many attacks on this city and yet its residents just didn’t seem to care. The sun flooded the streets below as people stumbled home, another new day and nothing felt different. When Maria woke you told her you did get a few hours rest in, despite there not being a single crease in your clothing which she would notice, to appease her you fumbled hooking yourself back up to the antibiotics, you used to have a personal assistant, that did these things for you. D wasn’t coming back either.
“Can we talk when I get back?” Maria asked hesitantly as she packed a bag, you nodded, knowing it wasn’t a conversation either of you were going to enjoy. Maria dawdled around, no doubt to see the dirty bed sheets, confirmation you hadn’t slept. You waved her goodbye but she still waited for you to finish the bottle of water before she left. After the antibiotics finished, you pulled the needle from your arm, sighing at yet another round of chemicals forced into you. Searching around you came across what you needed quickly. A hidden drawer with wads of cash. Taking a few bills without hesitation, something you would have never done before, you moved to Maria’s very modest closet, throwing on the first jacket you could find along with a hat. You grabbed the burner phone and stood at her front door. Stopping to consider if the door would even open for you. You would fully understand if it didn’t, but then knowing you couldn’t, would bring up all kinds of feelings you couldn’t face yet. Pulling the cap lower you pressed your hand to the panel and heard a click. You sucked in a breath and headed out of the door.
Not the wisest choice you ever had, but then what was? No choice you ever made led to anything remotely good. But you had to know, you had to be sure. You had been secluded for such a long time, you needed to know if you could be amongst people. Rush hour had passed, so it wasn’t as busy as it could be. Walking with your head down through the lobby, you expected Victor to be next to you, or to hear the metal of his armour clinking away, only to hear your own scurried foot steps. Stepping into the street only to have someone immediately brush your shoulder as they hurried past. Your body stiffened involuntarily. Victor would have their head, in fact if Victor were here, a path would be cleared for you. But these people had no idea what was walking amongst them, Victor made you feel invincible, but to the residents of New York you were nothing more than an obstacle. You weren’t spared a glance, let alone a second look, they had no interest in you whatsoever. Everyone had their own goal, coffee, work, fifth avenue, broadway.
You almost wanted someone to recognise you, just to see what would happen. Would they even know? Would they scream? Very few people had seen your face, that you knew of anyway. The sunglasses made everything dull, so the world wasn’t as bright as it could be. The coffee shop you and Maria lied about craving, shut down. The world had changed, everything had changed. It wasn’t long until you came across a small cafe. Ordering the coffee Hydra introduced you to, you took a seat outside.
You sat and watched for hours, the hope, the despair of people just living their lives. People rushing to work, picking up dry cleaning. Couples laughing, arguing, friends catching up, what looked like a first date. Children being asked to wait just one minute, dismissed, just as you had always been. The stress, the tiredness, sorrow in people's eyes. Everything you were once so blind to. You listened to the simplicity of people changing direction, ordering their own beverages, all these little actions, that the world was free to do. You traded Victor's life for a free world. It was a choice you would make a thousand times over, and you couldn't say with any certainty you would have the strength do it again, no one knew, no one cared, they didn't know what you gave up, how it felt to kill the man who saved your daughter, how it felt to be amongst people so fucking ungrateful. How it would haunt you forever and it was still what you wanted. Free will, freedom, something you weren't sure you ever had. The burner phone in your pocket vibrated and honestly you were surprised it took this long. You half expected Maria to show up here, with a full convey and an army of agents.
“Wher-”
You cut her off, giving her your exact location. After a wicked thought of telling her you ran off crossed your mind. You got up to order two coffees, resumed your position only to see Maria running towards the cafe as you were at the counter you pointed at the table. Maria’s eyes nearly fell out of her head at your actions, you carried the cups out and sat in the same chair, ignoring Maria who was still on her feet, obviously struggling with the fact you were out in public.
“Freedom.” You said bluntly referring to the scene around you and it did make Maria deflate slightly.
“You’re free now.”
You wanted to react to that, really you did. Instead you shot to your feet, and narrowed your eyes as Maria’s hand flew out to grab you, you gave her a withering glare. She made a point of looking at the innocent civilians around you both, not that she needed to, you had no intentions of running, or using your powers. As you sat back down you spoke under your breath. “Do not lie to me.” Maria wrung her hands and worriedly looked around. Rolling your shoulders you gestured to the chair, finally turning away from her as she relented and sat down. You wondered if you should tell Maria about the world where you both did everything together when two friends sat at the table behind you clearly in the middle of a shopping spree.
“Did you hear Dr Doom got killed in Wakanda?” One of the women exclaimed. Maria removed her own sunglasses and angled her body to face you.
“Aren’t you glad that sadistic bitch is gone too!”
You inclined your head with a smirk on your face, Maria looked poised to either drag you away or defend your honour, you gave her a very quiet no. Sadistic? You couldn't deny it, even the action alone, clutching your fingers inwards, drawing the pain inwards, wanting to take it on as your own. Perhaps you even needed pain to survive, it certainly seemed that way. The black that rested inside, and rest it would forever. Observing life, your years with Victor made you see that not everything is so black and white. You were supposed to be the light and your powers were the darkness. You wondered if you had been cursed, you were happy to remain cursed, as long as Rebecca never had to be.
You wondered if there were as many people here as with the Trevi foundation. If you could quiet your mind and concentrate as Victor taught you, to see the pain within. Your eyes fell to Maria, you didn’t want to see hers, to see what you had caused. That and you were sure Maria would run in terror if she thought for one moment, you were using your powers in any capacity, the nervous energy poured off her. Oh and the small fact that you doubted your mind would ever be quiet again, the questions you should have asked swirled inside, the lies you covered up, it was all so stupid, so naive. You didn't know your own mind anyway, didn't trust it, it lied to you. It made you susceptible, made you easier to manipulate, it was a mess, more broken than your body. You settled in your chair as the two women’s conversation moved onto some new TV series that they were both overjoyed with.
The air got cooler as the sun began to fade, Maria kept your coffee topped up, you thanked her each time, the only words spoken between you. You didn't know if you were avoiding the conversation she wanted to have. If you were slightly overjoyed that being outside wasn’t as hard as you thought it might be. If you knew that the moment you entered her apartment, the reality of your situation would set in. The coffee place showed no chance of closing, you had seen several staff handovers, the lunch rush, the after work rush and apparently the hordes of people just starting their day after that. Your entire body froze when a man ran past you, the running didn’t phase you no. The fact that he had a very distinct and very visual black aura did. You jumped up, chasing him, as he ran into oncoming traffic, dodging yellow taxis that screamed at you louder than Maria as you sprinted after him. Was it possible this man was like you? Seeing him in your sights you didn’t hesitate to tackle him to the ground. Scraping your knees and hands against the gravel, as he blubbered, unable to form anything close to a word he reached behind you, tipping your cap off your head. What was he trying to reach? Turning, seeing nothing of any consequence, no person coming towards him, no threat, no friends, no nothing. Brooklyn bridge.This man was in pain, unimaginable pain that he saw only one way out.
Maria reached you, holstering her gun at rapid speed, as you probably just gave her the fright of her life, you instructed her to call someone, anyone. Gripping onto him as tight as you could, thankfully allowed you to push the sunglasses back up your nose. Your heart thumped in your ears. Shushing him as he sobbed. You remained on the floor with him, holding on, as people complained around you. To think there was a point where you liked everyone and they couldn't be considerate for a minute? After a few hours of Maria getting him with the right people, she left her contact info for the man and you headed back.
–
You sat at the breakfast bar with the silence hanging between you. You tried to mask that, by setting out the containers of Chinese food Maria had picked up on the way back. Maria seemed restless, despite the fact you knew she was exhausted, she spent another day digging for your corpse and in just a few short hours, she would be back doing the same.
“What’s the plan here?” Maria asked casually, but her tone was full of accusation, she had a very trying day, but she was ready to have this out. A ridiculous question and a rhetorical one, just by her body language, you knew that she was fully aware of that. “That house is a prison. Zemo-”
You repressed the urge to roll your eyes, taking another fork full of noodles into your mouth. You let Maria ramble and rant about Zemo, as if this was all new information to you, so far all she mentioned was the barrage of threats, not exactly a solid crime. Chewing slowly, there was no rush, you let the fork rest on the side of your carton. You didn’t want to scare Maria, truly you didn’t, you were even used to your arguments with her, rising to the challenge over and over. You knew why Rebecca was there, because she was your daughter, the reason she lived a trapped existence, she could have a perfect life, if everyone didn't have to treat her like a ticking time bomb. Smirking at the thought of Maria’s feeble attempt at even trying to stop you, wiping your mouth with your sleeve you let your eyes rest on her unrepenting and soon after her speech started to slow, her hands stopped waving around, you were sure she even gulped.
“You’re keeping my daughter in a prison?” Watching Maria’s finger twitch, no doubt seeking out her weapon, your smile widened, unable to resist the opportunity to be passive aggressive you continued. “Why? Did she do something? Or is it what she might do? Or do you tell yourself it’s for her safety so you can sleep peacefully at night? ”
“Zemo- ”
“If he is as bad as you say he is, then why isn’t he at the Raft?” You deflected, knowing full well he would find a way out, with or without you. Maria listed many things off in her tirade, not everything though.
“He is an asset.” Maria mumbled meekly and you laughed, you had a inkling that is what you were supposed to be, They wanted your power just like Hydra, well everyone could go and fuck themselves. “I’ll get Rebecca,” Maria rushed out which only made you laugh harder, you pointed your fork to the door, telling her to go right ahead. You had seen Zemo’s reaction to losing both you and Rebecca.
“You expect me to go on the run, with a child who has never met me as we try to outrun Hydra and Zemo? In a world where I can’t show my face?” You scoffed.
“Fury, there’s a space station-”
Your eyes flicked back up to her and she flinched. “You want to exile me from the planet I just saved?” You couldn’t hide the contempt in your voice. Maria had no idea how many times you looked down on earth from the stars wishing you knew where Rebecca was. She could send you away, it wouldn’t take you long to escape and get back to earth.
“You can’t go back.” Maria tried again.
You sighed. If you were in Maria’s position you would say the same. “If I stayed there, Victor would never have found me, or Hydra. None of it would have happened if I just listened to-” You couldn’t say it. “Not even Victor found that house, it’s the safest place on earth.” Despite its owner. Hydra must believe you were dead like the rest of the world, but on the off chance you couldn’t go back to them either. Sooner or later Zemo was going to work out you weren't dead and he would come looking, wherever you were imprisoned, he would breach the walls to get to you. Bucky once told you that it wasn’t fair that you had to live this way, but you had to. Swallowing your pride and repeating the same phrase you had heard over and over. “That house, it’s where I belong.”
“Then you need training, real training, teach you to fight, defend yourself, to fly and Russian, we are all learning Russian.”
<”Victor already did that.”> You replied in Russian with raised eyebrows.
Maria recovered from that quickly. “Then fight with us? We can tell everyone what happened, we-”
“And put a target on Rebecca's back?” You said bluntly. My powers cannot be used for good. I was so close. You admitted to yourself. How you were on the precipice, balancing on a sword edge that could have gone either way. Not only did you sympathise with villains, you understood them, believed in their causes and could see their point of view. Now you knew that no, not everything should be forgiven and not everyone deserved a second chance. You certainly didn’t. As much as you wanted to blame everyone else solely for what happened, you couldn’t. Not wholly. It was everyone's fault and it wasn't anyone's fault. Everyone was culpable. Victor just took advantage of a volatile situation. You had been complicit in everything because you depended on someone else to live your life. You couldn't blame Hydra for what you became. That is what hurt the most. That if you looked back all of this it was your doing. Was it your sympathy for villains that made it so easy for Victor? You were complacent in it all, all of it and you were walking away free. You didn't deserve it. Is this what Bucky felt? At least he could say he was brainwashed. You weren't. It was you. It was all you. Sure you could argue, there was some level of coercion going on. At the very least Victor didn’t lie to you, fuck he didn’t need to, everyone else had done his job for him. Victor never hid anything, never lied, never manipulated, he even told you his plans for you. The man who never hurt you, who was never wrong and you killed him anyway. The man who protected you, just as everyone else had, they just did it wrong. Victor didn't forcibly take your powers, he wanted you to succumb to him, to surrender willingly, to have that choice. He even wanted your freedom, at least from Hydra, teaching you to fight multiple enemies at once, how to get out of being restrained, so you could confront them yourself. Victor didn't change your world view, he just helped you see how flawed your ideals were. Your infantile perspective of the world. You still wanted the world to be a better place but there was too much greed, too much poison, too much thirst for power. The picture perfect world could never be a reality, well not now Victor was gone. Victor had the same values as you, he just had a more permanent solution, so did you, in the end.
“I won’t hurt anyone.” You promised her. I’m just not going to help either. You couldn’t be part of that world anymore. To help the heroes meant you had to cause pain, for you it went hand in hand.
“What about Hydra?”
That was a fair question and yet you shook your head. As far as you were concerned you died and everyone in the world believed it. You were staying dead, especially to those animals. You also didn’t think free reign to kill was in anyone's best interests. Victor was an exception, and you still thought it shouldn’t have had to come down to you. “What’s the plan if Rebecca is like me?”
“We haven’t really decided anything. ”
Good. Knowing that no one would ever be deciding what to do with Rebecca if she turned out to be like you. Not a single soul, no one except her. And that was the hill you would die on, that no matter what happened, Rebecca would be choosing herself. No lies, no prisons, no manipulation. Maria finally sat down to eat her very cold food. You would kill every one of them if they tried to pull this shit with her. That was the only occasion you would ever be using your powers again, to protect her. You found yourself wanting to go back on the promise not to hurt anyone, instead you ground your teeth into the noodles. Maria did make a comment about feeling far more at ease now she knew you could use your powers to protect yourself, you weren't about to tell her that was a loophole.
Sleep still didn’t come. You listened to the sounds of the city and tried to form a game plan in your mind before going back. Fragments of ideas came into your mind, but nothing solid, nothing fully iron clad. You needed to talk it over with someone you trusted. You had snuffed out the life of that person and crushed your own soul in the process. The only thing you were certain of is that you couldn't allow yourself to be manipulated again. Maria walked into you standing at the same window, cup in hand, watching the world rotate. She stopped herself from making a comment, but the concern was there, she warned you before Fury arrived. Tension formed in your spine, no one was going to convince you otherwise. No matter how counterintuitive it was, you were going back. Fury strolled in and set a blow torch on the kitchen side. Maria sighed loudly in despair. You were surprised he was willing to help, even came up with a solution, just burn the names away from your body. Maria moved to collect it.
“Stand down, that’s an order.” Turning his attention back to you. “No hug?” You weren’t ready, he knew that, he almost cracked a smile. Removing his long black coat, he settled next to you, pouring himself a black coffee. “How are you holding up?” You shrugged, you weren’t sure, nothing seemed to be penetrating the surface. “You know Clint is retired now, living with his family.”
There are no happy endings. The loss of Natasha, sacrificing herself, you couldn’t imagine being put in that position. You heard that Clint referred to himself as a weapon to be used, you wholeheartedly agreed with that sentiment. The entire system was flawed; the fact Scott still had a criminal record was appalling enough. You couldn’t name a single person who had been given a happy ending, it just didn’t fit into this lifestyle. Fury pulled his phone out, quickly scanning a message, peering over his shoulder, he confirmed he had a team at the Castle.
“My Castle?” You didn’t even wait for confirmation, running to the door with them both on your tail, knocking your coffee flying, you sprinted to the roof, lifting the quinjet into the air without even checking if they were on board. You didn’t need to enter coordinates, you memorised the route back to your safe place a long time ago. Many questions came your way from Fury. You pushed the jet to its limits; your only reply was to get everyone out.
Barely touching down, you raced inside, through the holes in the walls that the team had blasted through, as if they were the same holes you had carved into your own heart. Entering the lab that held so many memories of yourself. The machines around you were flickering, they had been forced to life. Victor was the source of electricity here, now the machines themselves knew that he was gone. Your heart pulled again, being here without him felt wrong. Careful not to speak, you grabbed an external hard drive. As soon as you touched the keyboard, the machine roared into life, recognising you as an ally. You held your breath as you expected the doombots to rush out, pocketing the small device that presented itself to you. Maria turned away from the screen in disgust. A picture of your sleeping form safe inside your glass coffin, with Victor resting his forehead against it, you were thankful his back was turned to you. You plugged in the harddrive and searched for every video file you could. As none of these files were named but that wasn’t a concern, you checked within the data to check there hadn’t been any copies made and deleted them all. Then you extracted every last piece of data on Hydra Victor had, locations, jobs, anything.
“What does this do?” Fury poked at a machine in front of him with a bit too much confidence, you pretended that Fury wasn’t messing with the super serum, the same thing that destroyed this same lab long ago. You held onto Victor's lack of grief, how he just moved forward, that it didn’t matter to him that everything was destroyed. You nodded to yourself, trying to invoke the same feeling, pulling out the hard drive you indicated for them both to follow. You let them both step over the broken misshapen bricks first and hurried behind them. Taking one last lingering look at your glass cabinet, wishing you could rest peacefully just one more time, you pulled out the smaller shield with just a fragment of the anulux battery.
“Self destruct.” You pressed your thumb down on the device as the explosion rang behind you, shielding everyone from the blast. The Castle walls rumbled but stayed strong as you knew they would. Fury and Maria hit the deck, you didn’t even blink you knew Victor’s device would protect you. You were the only thing walking out of here, the last part of Victor’s legacy. Soulmate. You mind whispered. You had no idea where these machines were going and what someone would do with them. No one would and you couldn’t have someone else’s hands Victor’s things, it felt like they were digging inside his brain.
“I knew you were gonna pull some shit.” Fury sounded pissed. You held your hand out to pull him up and then Maria. You handed her the harddrive, she asked about the videos to use as evidence and you shook your head, they didn’t need to be viewed by anyone. You threw the small device into the flames. Walking directly to the jet you sat with your head in your hands, every last part of Victor was gone, you had to leave it all here, leave the Castle. You didn't notice when the jet took off, let alone when it landed, not until Fury spoke.
“Stay off my radar.”
You stood up, nose wrinkling at the smell of smoke in your hair, you wrapped one arm around him, reminding yourself that the reason you had him and Maria was because of your absolute point, the one moment that happened in every universe. Fury rescued you. “That’s the plan.” You answered, he chuckled lightly in your ear.
“You’re not that special. I got bigger fish to fry.”
–
As you already smelt like soot and smoke you elected to remove the names from your body once you got back, in the shower to try and keep the smell of burning flesh to one area. You opened and closed the window over and over, just because you could. As those names blistered and melted your skin, you knew you couldn't allow Hydra to be your problem anymore. You passed the buck to Maria, you knew Zemo would be making his own sordid plans for them too. You had to be cooperative, willing to be supervised, at least that is what you were telling yourself Zemo was going to be doing, anything else just wasn’t an option. Night was descending and although you weren't sure if you were tired your limbs certainly felt heavy. Using a towel to roughly dry your hair, you walked back into the kitchen seeking the leftovers from the Chinese after you had emptied your guts, only to come across Wanda and an extremely glib looking Maria standing just behind her. This was why Maria had been so silent at the Castle she had a contingency plan. You didn’t care what either of them had to say, the answer was no.
“Don’t you have a body to dig for?” You snarled at Maria.
“She is.” Wanda wiggled her fingers at you, which looked as if she dipped the very tips in black paint. From this far? You were pretty sure there wasn’t anything Wanda couldn't do. Wanda then went on to explain that ‘something’ happened, that a select few knew she was alive, she had put herself into hiding and that you had nothing to worry about as she needed express permission to use any of her powers.
“Express WHAT!” Screaming at Maria, this is exactly what they did to you. For what Westview? Wanda stood in between you and Maria, with her hands held up in surrender.
“I can help you, take your memories of Hydra away.” She blurted out.
“I lied, I am going to hurt someone.” You seethed. Wanda moved back pushing Maria further away from you. Wanda knew your rage wasn’t for her, it was for Maria. Maria didn’t just mean your memories of Hydra, she would take everything. To have your memories taken? To go back to square one? To let this happen all over? Maria had lost her fucking mind. Your emotions bubbled over, you couldn’t believe that anyone would seriously consider this after everything. Wanting to burn a hole through Wanda, just to see if Maria had any remorse on her face, you lunged only to be knocked back by a blast of red light.
–
Red pushed into your eyes, flowing through your skull, scarlet waves melted through your mind.
“What have you done?” You wheezed.
“Nothing, not yet.”
“Where are we?” You gasped, hearing the birds sing above the perfectly aligned rows and rows of trees. You could smell the crispness in the air. A calm settled over you, something with you resonated with Wanda, your powers, just like Zemo predicted.
“My mind. I don’t want to be inside yours.” She said sadly as cutters appeared in her hand, she plucked a branch and handed you an apple from her orchard. Holy shit. Wanda smirked as if she heard that. “Maria is being quite persistent,” Wanda grimaced. “I have put you to sleep.”
You sighed. “ She means well, she isn’t the enemy”.
“They are not your friends.” Wanda stated dryly. “They use us. Expect us to save them. Turn on us the moment we fail. They are all hypocrites.”
“What happened to you?”
“I lost my boys.” Wanda spoke so softly you barely heard her, but you already knew that, you knew that when you saw her back at the Raft, you knew about Westview then, this was more than that. That was devastating enough, you couldn’t imagine what havoc you would wreak if after all of this you discovered Rebecca wasn’t real, once again you found yourself marvelling at her strength. Wanda took the time to examine her fingertips, brushing the last remnants of black, as if they had almost faded, but wouldn’t quite disappear. A smile crossed her face that was proud, her eyebrows pulled together and her eyes glazed over. “You’re one step ahead of me, you already know you’re a monster.”
“You’re not a monster Wanda.”
“It's that kind of thinking that made it so easy for him to love you. You silenced Zemo's mind, with one touch, stopped his pain.” You couldn’t tell if you missed him or not, if you even did, parts of him. Speechless you didn’t have any answer to that, well you did, But you didn’t want to spend the rest of your life explaining everything that happened after Wanda shared a meal with you both back on the Raft. “All you ever wanted was to help people, you saved the world. Was it worth it?” You knew the world was worth saving, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to say yes. “No good deed goes unpunished.” Wanda closed her eyes as if she were honing in on something. “The guilt is going to eat them alive.”
Victor.
Your heart lurched again. In a way Victor died from guilt, from the guilt of knowing what he had done to you. Was Wanda suggesting everyone would die? Was that the real reason behind taking your memories? So you could start over, so everyone else could. A clean slate. Would you be better off not knowing? Going back blindly? Or better off knowing it all? You needed more time to figure all of this out.
“It's so peaceful here.”
“Its not real.”
–
Waking up slowly, gently to scarlet eyes, you felt genuinely well rested. A respite from your insomnia. Wanda stayed, kept you inside her tranquil garden, so your own mind couldn’t roam, couldn't bring any unnecessary thoughts to the surface. Rolling over so you could face Wanda properly you pondered if your forming plan would work. You wondered if Wanda could take Zemo's memories, trying not to feel slighted that he once requested this very thing in an attempt to manipulate you. Only to feel that quashed by the multiverse, you were with him in every world. Wanda smiled knowingly at you, another idea thwarted. There wasn’t any other way around this.
“If you ever need me-” You started.
“You have your own battles to fight.” She solemnly said, taking her leave.
It didn’t take long for Maria to return, looking haggard, dumping her bag down after another fruitless day of searching for a body that wasn’t there. She rubbed her swollen eyes, slightly pulled on her own hair, clutched her phone, looking up to the ceiling as if she could see through to the sky. She didn't need to feel guilty for her request, it was a very good idea. You wanted to relieve her of that anxiety until she spoke.
“Oeznik’s dying.”
The room spun and you gripped onto the kitchen counter. Your stomach cramped like it never had before. The air ripped from your lungs as a lump formed in your throat. You nodded tersely and tried to move to the door, you had to go back now, you had to see him. Taking a single step only to sink down to your knees. Maria dropped in front of you her lips were moving but you wouldn’t hear it. How could this happen? How was this fair? You had to keep a grip on your emotions, you couldn’t let anything worse happen. You tried to tell her you had to go back, you had to, right now. Finally making sense of her words, you understood Oeznik had been unwell for a while, he had a heart attack and was in a nearby hospital, it was too risky to go. Feeling that hitch in your breath you couldn’t accept it, you wouldn’t.
“Which hospital?”
–
Sitting at Oezniks bedside with the photostatic veil firmly over your face, cap secured on and ear piece in, you winced at every breath he took, the death rattle you heard about, you could hear it now, if you didn’t know better you would argue it hurt you more than it hurt Oeznik. Oeznik was your saviour, he warned you about Zemo, he tried to help you and somehow out of everyone out there, all of the people that did not deserve the oxygen they breathed his time had come. Maria gave up her goodbye with him, mainly because you were wearing her face. Not that that would stop Zemo, fucker recognised you with you face covered and in a full cloak. You knew he was on his way to collect Oeznik and take him home, probably drugged Oeznik up so he slept while he made arrangements.
“Maria?” Ozenik croaked. Tipping your hat up, you pulled the veil from your face. Oeznik's expression changed immediately, yet he didn’t look terrified like everyone else did, he was genuinely happy to see you. Oezniks eyes watered and you blinked rapidly against your own. He tried to speak again and you hushed him.
“Thank you.” You wished you had the time to thank him for every last little thing. Maria screeched into your ear. You bent down to place the last kisses on Oeznik’s cheeks. You smiled ignoring the commands from Maria, you wanted to rip out your own heart and give it to Oeznik to make him live on. Pushing the veil onto your face you forced yourself to walk away, safe in the knowledge that you didn’t have to tell Oeznik not to tell Zemo, you knew he wouldn’t. You knew he would keep your secrets.
“Rebecca is a treasure.” Oeznik choked over his own words, eyes brimming with adoration. His last words, used to comfort you. Opening the door just along from his, slipping past the coma patient you hoisted yourself up in the air vent, closing the grate behind you. Crawling out to meet Maria you just put one hand in front of the other, out onto the sidewalk you walked straight past her and you just kept walking, kept moving, pushing people out of your way. You got through all of this without someone you loved dying, there was no way it could last. You pounded the pavement for hours, trying to make sense of it all, it was so unfair. So unwarranted. You wished you didn’t hear the alert on Maria’s phone, wished you didn’t turn to see her face, because the moment you did, you knew. Ozenik was gone and the world didn’t stop, it didn’t mourn and it should, for the world to lose someone as amazing as Oeznik, the loss should be felt everywhere. Rebecca just lost one of the most important people in her life, just aged three. This had to be rock bottom, it had to be, only one thought filled your mind.
It was meant to be me.
–
You cracked open a beer for Maria before she returned. You had to keep your mind off Oeznik or your impending arrival home. You couldn't allow yourself to spiral, you had made it so far and you were so close to the end. To the goal, to being with Rebecca. Maria looked more stressed than you had ever seen her. But then she was contending with you and your stubbornness. Probably wondering if you were going to snap at any moment. Her phone rang, she didn’t answer it, instead she just stared at you, by that alone you knew who was calling. Might as well get this over with. You answered as Maria downed at least half of the bottle.
“Maria could you explain to me why I am arranging Oeznik’s funeral and not my wife’s?”
“I’m tired.” She answered flatly.
“Whilst that may be true, I cannot help but feel as if you are lying to me.” You and Maria locked eyes. Shit. “James and I will join you once we return from Sokovia.”
“I’ll find her, you don’t have to do this again.” Maria laced sympathy in her tone, pulling out your necklace from her bag, she held her hands out to you grimacing, knowing she had fucked up, that needed to go back. “When is the funeral?” Maria asked, fishing for information, the pitch of her tone went up and you knew you both had been had.
“Hmmm.” Zemo cooed. “I will locate her and bring her home.” He had never sounded so sure of anything in his life. Wincing at the feral undertone of his voice you waited and finally the screen went blank. You were pleased your heart hadn’t begun to race. You were going home alright, just Zemo wouldn’t be the one to do it. Safe with the knowledge he would be far away for a few days, you showed Maria what you had spent the day doing. Looking into any and all information about yourself that you could find. Hacking networks, breaking down firewalls and erasing it all. Every last snippet. You and Victor both tried to find Zemo’s, Bucky’s, Maria’s networks, you were stonewalled, every time. According to Ross, the guards at the Raft, you died shortly after being kidnapped. Everyone in Louisiana, well you died about three years ago. You removed that all too. To erase yourself from existence, so Hydra wouldn’t come looking, or the next Victor, who could use you for their own advantage.
“Project Sunshine?” Maria said confused, nursing her second beer. Just one page of data, but no one would have looked at it twice, an abandoned project. Amongst all the rest of the horrifying data that came from the Hydra dump and the other reason Victor didn’t use your nickname, he knew. It’s more than likely how Hydra found you. That shining personality of yours, even as a child and the unassuming woman you became. Who you needed to be, whatever happened from here. You weren't Hydra’s you would never be. Maria skimmed the data, looking up at you torn, she didn’t know what to say.
“The sun gives everything life, we can’t exist without it, but if you get too close...” You trailed off, you didn’t even sound sad, you weren’t. A nickname that wouldn’t evoke fear in anyone's hearts. Your light would draw them in, until they discovered the only thing you could bring them was pain. A perfect description and thus the perfect nickname. A direct contradiction and yet exactly what you were. Nudging your shoulder against Maria’s so she would drop the look of pity. “I am Sunshine.” You said emphasising your content at this discovery.
“You could take them all down.”
You knew that, you just didn’t think that being sent on a murder spree was the right direction to go in, Hydra would really have their weapon then. You had to be realistic, conscientious, this could all still go terribly wrong. In your mind, once Zemo had you within his grasp, Hydra would never get to you again, simply because you would never be let out again. You couldn’t get closure, having that privilege would only let the darkness within you thrive. Maria needed to hurt them, she burned for revenge, she watched all of this play out, she needed to see Hydra's demise, personally. Whereas you grieved for your life a long time ago. You could only imagine what Zemo and Bucky were planning, the desire to kill something, crawling under their skin. Reaching out you tucked her hair behind her ear, and although her eyes followed you closely, she didn’t flinch. You would never get used to anyone looking at you like that, like you should be feared. She reminded you so much of Mary, the one woman who promised to smuggle you out from Hydra, she held strong until the bitter end, they tortured her in front of you, leaving her corpse in your view, then Fury found you.
“Sorry.” You muttered, you were always free to reach out and touch Victor, you should ask permission, you knew better.
“No, it’s me, I’m not being fair to you.”
“You really want to talk about what’s not fair?” You shook your head with a smile and Maria laughed tiredly with you.
–
Feeling slightly ashamed that you had to drag Maria into this scheme, you both spent the next few days going over what you both knew about your soon to be home. Any security Maria put in place had been changed or upgraded. In between her trips to Wakanda, you both created your own firewalls, encryptions, removing every trace or mention of you from every corner of the internet. It would be as if you never existed. Except Shuri’s, neither of you could come up with a feasible reason to search through Wakana's networks freely, no matter what either of you tried, you couldn't get access. Maria asked some prying questions about Victor, which you answered openly, she was only interested in the crimes he committed, not who he was. She told you that Sam spent more time at the house than Bucky, but you didn’t expect any less from Sam. He would step up and be whoever he needed to be. You let her know that Hydra didn’t know about Rebecca, that Victor gave you his word. You both agreed you would never convince Zemo of that. Maria argued that Victor gave you to Hydra and he did, so your powers would grow, you told her about Sharon. Told her that Victor was never wrong about anything, the world loved him, even she was thankful for him, right up until the moment she knew he had you. You didn't tell her he saved Rebecca. She was getting more and more flustered trying to contradict you, to show you that Victor was evil. You weren’t exactly filling her with confidence, you didn’t have the best track record. This was going your way or no way at all, you reminded her of that with a glint in your eyes. You must have got under her skin because this was the time she decided to spring some news on you.
“Barnes and Zemo have been granted diplomatic immunity, to take down Hydra.”
“How convenient.” You replied sarcastically. Actual free reign, they were getting freedom, while you were about to be locked away again. You had some more bad news for her. “So….” you danced around it. “There is this Hydra agent, Louise, about twenty-”
“No, please don't-”
“Welcome to the world of doing things you don’t want to.”
–
Maria managed to convince you to take some sleeping pills, making a compelling case about resting as much as you could, while you could. Eyes opening to an unfamiliar room and a new companion in your bed, Maria opened her mouth and you brought your finger to your lips to quiet her. You just needed a moment to comprehend that this is where you were, in a soft bed, wrapped up warm, in a scenario so far away from everything you knew.
Gathering the last supplies, pulling on your dirt ridden clothes, smearing some over your face, you both headed out, swapping cars a few times along the way. Maria insisted, just in case Hydra were following, like those dumbasses could ever find this place. If Victor couldn’t then no one else can. Driving through the traffic at night as Maria let you sleep as long as you possibly could, all day in fact, your knees bobbed up and down, you told yourself it was excitement, you were finally going to meet your daughter. Rebecca came with Zemo and he could hold you in the basement forever, hold the possibility of seeing Rebecca over your head, you just had to hope he wouldn’t. On your way to the house you swore up and down you hated, that you would never return to, the place Victor promised he would get you to, a place you were sure Oeznik would have frog marched you straight out of, instead he had been laid to rest today. As one left your home a new one would enter. And now it was your only destination, only this time you would go in willingly, with the knowledge needed to survive. As Fury said, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Back into the belly of the beast, to the very last cage. Everything would be fake smiles and holding your face still, you would have to seek out some sort of solace. Rebecca. it would have to be. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You couldn’t allow yourself to be ensnared by Zemo again, you still remember what it was like to love him, like you had to apologise for it. You would be trapped again and as always Zemo would have what he wanted, he would have you.
“You sure about this?” Maria asked but it sounded as if she were begging you, to not to do this. What could Zemo do that Hydra hadn’t? The chances of him letting you out with less than zero. Letting anyone else but Bucky in, perhaps not even that. Maria could be unburdened of you, at the very least, this way she would know where you were.
“We have a back up plan.” You reminded her. Just cough and she would find a way to get you out, she was counting on seeing you again, you knew better, this was it. You didn't have the heart to tell her that. Maria pulled over the car to what looked like an empty field, you saw the way into Wakanda looks could be deceiving. Exiting the car, you jumped up and down, just to burn off some of the nervous energy. Or to gear yourself up for whatever lay ahead. You wished Victor were here, wished he was with you. Not that he would ever agree to this. Walking over to the driver’s side Maria head was on the wheel, you could see the soft trembles of her body.
“Just give me a minute.” She sniffled. This was more difficult for her, she felt as if she had a hand in it. Or maybe she did know that this was it. You would never see each other again. Your past always seemed to hurt her more than it did you. In letting you do this, she felt as if the cycle of hell would continue, not that she could have stopped you. You were getting back in that house come hell or high water. You grabbed the electromagnetic pulse, to knock out as much security as you both could and and paced around. This had to work, it just had to.
“You sure about this?” She asked again.
Instead of answering you started walking away from the car. Rebecca was in that house, that was all that mattered, anything beyond that, you would endure. You both walked along the road for a while only stopping when you both knew it was far enough. Far enough for the pulse to miss the car, for Maria to run and get out of here faster than Zemo could get out to investigate. Maria shook her head with watery eyes and forced herself to nod, but in her eyes was nothing but fear. You nodded back to her, trying to show that this was the right thing to do, that this was the only way. You dropped the electromagnetic pulse into her shaking hand and wondered if her heart was beating as fast as yours. Today of all day’s, the day you got to reclaim, to finally make the choice on what was happening. Maria pressed the button with a desperate sound, striking you hard in the head with the but of her gun. “Happy birthday.”
–
Your eyes flew open this time, pushing to sit up, you stared into your lap, seeing the embroidered, silk sheets knowing you were lying in the decadent bed of the master bedroom, a bedroom you once shared with Zemo. An undertone of must lingered in the air. A film of dust clung to the furniture. Which could only mean this room hadn’t been used recently, untouched. The gentlest squeeze on your hand elicited a gasp from your mouth. Eyes flicking up to Sam at the end of your bed, hand over mouth, eyes rounded, as if he were looking at a dead person. You moved your eyes to Bucky who was just a step closer with something that looked like a pained but friendly smile on his face, eyes as wide as Sam’s. Grimacing internally, you knew who had their hand intertwined with your own, you took a deep breath in, in an attempt to remain calm.
“Everything is going to be alright.” Zemo croaked out. No it won’t. You wanted to tear out your heart that tiny part of you that leapt at just the sound of his voice, his real voice, no memory, no alternate version, your Zemo. You made a display of darting your eyes around the room, frowning, putting a hand to the place you remember Maria’s gun slamming into you. Feeling the air shift, the calm before the storm. They were all waiting for you, you were pretty sure they weren’t expecting this, they could never have predicted this. You watched Sam shift his weight uncomfortably. Bucky’s eyes darted between you and Zemo, he might have just caught on. Finally turning to look into the sorrowful honey eyes of your enemy, of your husband, sitting at the edge of your bed, stroking his thumb back and forth across your knuckles. Holding his gaze you almost changed your mind, believed you could both work it all out. A soft whimper fell from your lips at the gravity of what you had done, stomach plummeting at the life you had returned to, the nightmare you would never wake from. Swallowing thickly against the heaving of your chest, you steeled your focus on Zemo, seeing the blank filter into his eyes, watching all and any hope die, you snatched your hand away, turning away so you didn’t have to watch the devastation you were about to cause, you let the shudder in your body flow out into your voice.
“Who are you?”
Next Part: https://www.tumblr.com/zemossunshine/710852659593330688/sunshine-chapter-45?source=share
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Black Clover ch332
Alrighty, so… I debated whether or not I wanted to start rambling on about Black Clover once the manga returned after its three month hiatus (which, unfortunately for me, began right as I decided to start and catch up with the anime and manga back in April) and after a couple weeks I finally decided, eh, why not? So despite it all being relatively fresh in my mind, I know for certain I don’t remember everything by heart due to the quick pace I consumed it all (even after rewatching/rereading most of it again during these past few months), so none of these posts are gonna be as detailed in regards to theories and character analysis compared to those I’ve done in the past during TPN’s final arc, but who cares. I’ve come to love BC very much so I’m gonna chat about it anyway.
First things first, the boys look so good! Yuno looks so nice in white, which is weird to me because I honestly wasn’t a fan of most of his previous magic knight attire. For the longest time my favorite outfit of his was when he first joined the Golden Dawn. It just felt more “Yuno,” I dunno. Probably just me not being a big fan of the whole squad outfits matching each other. The robes are one thing, but ya don’t gotta look identical down to the entire outfit, save for a couple color preferences with capes. But yeah all that aside, this one is my new favorite! I love the robe matching his eyes and the cuffs/collar of his shirt to his necklace. The whole outfit has a nice, not-too-busy color palette and I like that. Asta as well. I prefer this one much more than what he had after the previous time skip. I can only assume he’s got that new brown sleeve..? I don’t even know what to call it really.. just to cover up his permanently corrupted right arm. Dunno why he had to cover it up though, unless to just not draw so much attention to himself, as we learn pages later that not everyone trusts his devil powers still, despite his new proven innocence from the trial. The devil-binding mark is out in the open on his left wrist however, but I digress. Oh, and I’m just realizing now that Yuno has two little bags for both his clover & spade grimoire. Ah, the obvious things I notice once I finally decide to slow down.
But we can’t slow down. Nope. Because what do you mean a year and three months have passed since Spade?? What else happened after the war? So much could’ve happened since then.. would it be wrong for me to hope the anime (whenever it returns and reaches this point) gives us a little filler about all that? I dunno the general consensus regarding filler in BC, but I think the anime handled those episodes/arcs quite well. I was entertained at least, but I really just wanna know more! Aaahh, but our boy finally reaching such a high rank, I’m so proud of him! Truly deserves it after all his hard work. Also sorta kinda not surprised to see that Kaiser isn’t here? Granted he didn’t fight in Spade alongside the other captains, but whatever, not really important. I’m more surprised to see Yami without a cigarette in his mouth. How rare. Can’t say I dig the longer robe on him though.. or all the tiny clovers on Feugoleon’s shirt. And Nozel sweetie, I love you, but you do not need to add such large wings like that with your uniform too. Y’all don’t have to be so extra!
It’s so wholesome that Asta’s family were all invited to the ceremony too. They must be so proud and happy for him. Same with the few Black Bulls (& Mimosa) who were able to attend. I especially like how its those members who trained alongside him in the Heart Kingdom. Well, minus Luck and Charmy.. and Leo now that I remember correctly.. but we got Vanessa here instead! (i’ll never complain about seeing my favorite more)
We also learn Yuno was granted the grand magic knight title but Asta takes being one step behind him rather well. I’m sure he’ll catch up eventually. I do like seeing everyone mingling with each other; Yami going to chat with William, then Finral, Vanessa and her faithful glass of wine, and all the Hage residents at Asta’s table. A shame Charmy isn’t here to go crazy over the buffet, but I’m guessing she’s with the other Bulls who are currently out investigating some devil shenanigans. Probably. Overall it’s a very nice change from the first award ceremony Asta was invited to at least, back when he was looked down upon and attacked for having no magic and even Feugoleon and Nozel were arguing with each other. Yet here we are now all chatting together with Asta as the center of attention, for good reasons this time.
Speaking of captains, I’m quite intrigued about the possibilities we hear for who might be the next wizard king. Fuegoleon and Nozel I have no issue with, but Meroleona? I mean she’s strong, sure, an absolute powerhouse in fact, but I don’t think she would fancy being in charge like that anyway. Way too orderly for her wild tastes. I do wonder why William wasn’t mentioned however? He was always the top pick earlier in the series to be the next WK, but if I had to guess then perhaps he doesn’t feel like he deserves it due to his/Patry’s involvement during the Elf Reincarnation arc? Or he could just not want the new position. Who knows? Not me. If I had to choose though, I’d place my best on Fuegoleon over Nozel (which shocks even me because I adore the latter SO much more, I’m sorry!). I just feel as if he would fit that sort of position better for some reason. Not that it matters since..they all declined at the moment, but still fun to think about.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year and there was no progress regarding Charlotte’s feelings (though I guess that’s good for us considering we saw nothing during this last time skip and we certainly don’t wanna miss something like that!). Bless our boy Finral for reminding Yami since he clearly didn’t remember, or know anything about it actually. And I know I’m picking on almost everyone’s outfits/styles right now, but I still prefer Finral’s previous hairstyle (not the original but like, from royal knight exam to pre-heart kingdom time skip ya know?) I still like how it is now of course, love the green about it too. Perhaps I’m not used to this one just yet. He’s adorable either way! I love him!
Charlotte isn’t the only one dealing with romantic issues however. Seems our girls are as flustered as ever. How did they all handle these feelings for over a year? I’d probably go insane. Maybe they have.
I absolutely LOVE Secre interfering with their internal crisis and causing them to panic even more. She’s enjoying it all as much as I am. I wish she could give us a little smirk though, but her straight face is just so her. It works just as well.
And then to the real confession. Oh boy. Again, love the girl’s reactions. Also like..just look at how tall he’s gotten?? Sure he’s still short compared to people like Yuno and many others, but here our boy just looks so grown up I guess.
Not only looks that way, but he acts it too! He’s matured! He actually accepts Lily’s rejection and moves on from it just like he said he would. Then he recites his typical vow to become wizard king and Lily believes him, truly, for once too. Character growth for all!
And then all the happy feelings go away because the final boss has now appeared. Lowkey happy to see this man because of the similar appearance to Julius before he “died” from Patry, but also not because um, danger.
(this..went on longer than expected. i shall cut this here and post this separately from the other two chapters we currently have.)
#black clover#bc manga#chidoroki used chatter#me: yeah ill chat about it a little bit. also me: *rambling on about things that dont matter* okay so i also think that-
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good morning
bungou stray dogs | EXPLICIT | 1051 words
nakahara chuuya x (afab!) reader / oc
you give chuuya permission to go at it even when you’re still deep asleep. it’s a privilege he doesn’t let go to waste.
⚠ consensual somnophilia
“you can use me whatever way you want, chuuya.”
chuuya swallows. he feels greedy. insatiable. he feels like a king. his throat suddenly feels parched. he looks at you, waiting for you to change your mind.
but you don’t.
“you better not regret that in the morning,” he says, smirking and pressing a little kiss on the shell of your ear. his breath leaves you ticklish and you push him gently, fumbling around in the sheets until you’re cuddled.
“you never make me regret anything, chuuya,” you casually remind him.
-
the fact that chuuya wakes up with morning wood the morning after is nothing surprising.
not when he’d spent the entirety of last night squirming, thinking about you sleeping peacefully next to him. not when he can’t remember the dream but he knows, with the feeling he wakes up to on his chest, that it had been about the both of you. in some headspace a little bit more carnal.
like where he is right now.
chuuya never wakes up early, but today he doesn’t mind opening his eyes to the golden glow of the sunrise peeking over the yokohama horizon. next to him is you, the contours of your face illuminated by the rays of light, sleeping soundly.
the blanket has slipped off of your form throughout the night. your shirt’s ridden up just the littlest bit to reveal the smooth flesh of your stomach; and your shorts leave the rest of your legs up to chuuya’s view. mouth slightly open, you breathe peacefully in slumber as chuuya eyes you like a wolf hungry for meat.
you can use me whatever way you want, chuuya.
well, there’s no fun on going at it on his own, so he may as well make you feel good along the way.
besides, it seems like a great way to wake up.
sliding off his boxers so he can at least free himself of that constriction, he slides down the bed, careful not to wake you up. you don’t wake up that easy, so he knows he’ll be able to get as much as his heart desires done before you truly rouse out of sleep.
you groan just the littlest bit when chuuya slips off your shorts and your panties, but you stay unawake. chuuya takes this as a good sign as he gets himself in position between your legs.
he goes slowly, like he always does. slower than usual, even, to keep you far away from wakefulness. a trail of small kisses on the inside of your thigh, all the way until he reaches your cunt. pretty and waiting for him, a sight he think he’s never tire of.
and then it’s time for breakfast.
the touch of his lips against your clit leaves him reeling more than you. something about being able to adore you like this leaves him shaking somewhere deep inside. then it’s slow kisses down, the warmth emanating from your core undeniable as it washes over his face.
what a great morning it is.
chuuya hears your breath hitch as he swirls his tongue through your folds a few more times, adding to the wetness collecting there. when he peeks, you’re still out of it. good. he’s just getting started, he wouldn’t want you to wake up half-ready, would he?
your legs begin to shake on their own, as chuuya gently suckles over your clit to draw even more blood onto it. the pure vulnerability in the act of eating you out—together with the fact that you’re letting him do it while you’re asleep!—sends an innumerable amount of warm sparks shooting through chuuya’s belly.
would you get mad at him if he asks to do this every day?
chuuya alternates licking the expanse of your pussy and focusing on your clit, making sure to warm you up nice and ready for him. tiny kitten licks interspersed with broad strokes that wake up every sensitive nerve ending.
and then he feels it. your fingers gently massaging his scalp, tugging at his hair.
“is my princess finally awake?” he murmurs against your thigh. trailing kisses there but not where you want him because he’s a tease now that you’re (even the littlest bit) conscious. when your hips buck upward onto him, he laughs.
you make a sound of discontent as you groan, your voice still raspy with sleep. “chuuya���”
smirking, chuuya returns to his job of pleasing you with his mouth. this time, he adds momentum by thrusting his tongue into your already soaked hole, enjoying the way you squirm around him. your moans and sighs get louder with every little movement of his tongue, wordless sounds soon coming on to be tiny curses and the shape of his name.
“i’m close,” you say, desperately, as chuuya suckles on your clit once again. you reach down to tap his shoulder and when he looks up, you squeeze your hand into a fist. he reaches up to entangle his free hand around yours.
so you can hold on to him.
“i’ll make ya come with only my mouth, watch,” chuuya says with a self-assured grin. focusing on your hands around him, your voice echoing in the bedroom, how much they’re expressing how good he makes you feel, he continues to lap at your pussy like a man starved. focusing on the parts that make you scream, your hand tightens around his and your tug on his hair becomes tighter and more intense as chuuya doesn’t stop, refuses to stop, until he delivers.
your head lolls backward as the pressure builds. “chuuya, don’t stop, please, right there, i’m—”
with a hum against your sensitive flesh, his voice sweet and velvety, you feel the vibrations of i love you before the orgasm finally crashes onto you, shaking off any and all bits of sleep that may have clung onto your consciousness.
chuuya laughs, a low, seductive laugh that nearly sends you off again, as he lifts up from between your legs, leaning his head over his hand as he licks off the juices that are still stuck to his lips. “good morning to you, lovely.”
you pull chuuya up by his hand and steal a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. “good morning to you too, handsome. need some help?”
#nakahara chuuya#bungou stray dogs#chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya x reader#chuuya x you#bungou stray dogs imagines#bsd imagines#bsd x reader#💌 chuuya lovemail#rating:E#genre:wank#timeline:serious#i love this tbh i kind of popped off with this one
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𝟓 ༒ 𝔥𝔬𝔫𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯
⤷ dirty valentine m.list
⤷ complete bnha m.list
dabi / touya todoroki — daddy kink
a/n: it’s just pure filth. needy!rc & dabi being a dick daddy.
wc: 1.3k
tw: consensual somno, overstim, daddy kink (obvi)
It’s always a pleasure to see Dabi asleep.
Not in fitful naps filled with nightmares, murmured pleas, and sweat-soaked sheets—or the occasional post-battle concussion—but actually resting. He doesn’t get much sleep to begin with, and when he does there always seems to be a grimace attached, a tick of his jaw that makes your breath catch, worried for the safety of his subconscious mind.
But on rare occasions like tonight, you get a little glimpse of your boyfriend truly at peace. Chest rising and falling at an even pace, loose black hair tousled across the pillow, cheeks softly flushed. He looks content, for once, and it makes your heart soar.
It’s really too bad you’re as horny as you are.
Dabi always demands you wake him at the slightest of necessities, claims he’d much rather be buried inside your tight, wet cunt then fighting comatose demons. You should, given how often you’ve woken up to him tonguing it, licking and slurping you as though he’s parched and you’re a glass of water on the nightstand. It’d be a welcomed surprise, really, to turn the tables for once.
Still, you don’t want to be a bother, don’t want to be the needy little thing you always are for him. He deserves to be looked after too—and besides, the sight of him so tranquil is almost enough to quell your salacious thoughts. Almost. You can’t truly deny the slick dribbling down your thighs, the way he could have you satiated and fucked asleep with a few pumps of his wrist.
But maybe you can have the best of both worlds, take this rare chance to play caretaker while still getting yourself off.
So you begin your little mission, clambering over to where Dabi lays peacefully and snuggling up against him. Your actions are silent, completed with the utmost caution as to not risk rousing him. And his warm body welcomes you, stirring only to pull you closer.
When you’ve successfully wrapped a leg around his thigh, you test the waters by humping against it once, twice—softly at first—only focusing on your own pleasure when you’re certain he won’t awaken.
Soon, you’re rutting shamelessly, lost in the chase of your high, a hand clamped tightly over your mouth to stifle gasps and low moans. The friction of your clit against his rough thighs is pure bliss, the slick that drizzles across his skin only provoking you further.
What would Dabi say if he saw you like this? If he’s stirred into consciousness by your sharp inhales and the helpless little juts of your hips against him? It’s dirty, you’re dirty, for getting so worked up over his unconscious body. Knowing him, he’d probably–
“Enjoying yourself, princess?”
The sudden quip makes you jolt, shocking you out of your thoughts as you rush to feign innocence. It’s no use, of course; judging by the smirk on Dabi’s face, it seems he’s been watching you for quite some time.
“I- I was just–” You struggle to explain yourself, feeling heat blossom in your chest at being caught in such an obscene position.
“Well don’t stop on my account,” he tempts, voice dangerously gravely, low enough to make your gut tighten and your legs tremble. “Looks like you’re doin’ just fine on your own.”
You can see the smugness in his lidded eyes, the way he shifts himself up against the headboard, throwing his arms behind his head and repositioning you directly on his lap. All the while, he ignores the whimper you let out, the quiver of your bottom lip as you silently beg for him to touch you. This is a punishment, of course, a petty consequence of trying to fulfill your own needs when he’s right here.
So, what can you do except follow the command? You begin grinding against him again, eyes trained on the beautiful man in front of you. He doesn’t say a word, simply watches as you bounce pathetically, desperately attempting to regain the rhythm you had fallen into only moments ago.
But with his gaze glued to your body, it’s impossible. Now that he’s fully present, you can’t help but long for the rough graze of his fingers, for the feeling of being poked and prodded by the nimble digits that know every inch of your warm walls. And he knows good and well how badly you want him to reach out, to allow you to melt beneath his touch.
Finally fed up with your failure, you mumble a soft, ‘please help me,’ eyes trained anywhere but his own.
“What was that, baby?” Dabi presses a finger to your chin, lifting it so that you’re peering up at him once again. “Didn’t quite catch that.” The look he gives you should be illegal, all pointed teeth and hungry eyes, an amalgam of pure arrogance and satisfaction that even a hero wouldn’t dare challenge.
Your hands dart out to grab at his arm, still helplessly writhing against his heated skin, “P-please daddy, need you.”
Within seconds, you’re lifted, then placed with your knees on either side of his bare leg. Dabi doesn’t bother with flipping you around, seemingly content with watching you fall apart completely on display. One hand remains fastened behind his head, but the other finally moves towards you. His fingers ghost across your thighs, coating themselves in your juices while he inches to where you need him most.
“Poor little baby,” he hums, swiftly sinking two knuckles into your wet cunt, “can’t get yourself off without daddy’s help, yeah?”
The sudden stretch makes you keen into him, hands scrambling for purchase on his biceps. Dabi curls his fingers upwards, pressing against gummy walls at the spot that makes your stomach heavy and your eyes clench shut. In just a few seconds, you feel yourself far closer to paradise than your own ministrations ever got you.
Soon, time is lost on you. You’re unsure of when you reached your first peak, or how many times you’ve cum since, though Dabi’s lithe digits never let up. You’re still meeting his thrusts, rubbing your clit against his palm with every pump and whining incoherently.
The only thing you know, the only thing that truly matters in this moment, is the God in front of you—his touch, his smug grin, his incessant urging that ‘you can take it, princess,’—but your nerves are on fire. You’re unable to voice your concern, too stimulated to offer anything but pathetic squeals and cries of ‘daddy, daddy, daddy,’ over and over again.
“T-Too much– ah, s’ too much,” you sob between gasps, upper body dropping against his chest when you can no longer support yourself. Instead of stopping, it only makes Dabi press harder—but he allows you the simple reprieve of curling into him, moving his free arm to caress your sweat-soaked head.
“Been saying that for a while now,” he grunts, wincing when your fingernails dig into his pecks, “but your sloppy cunt’s still gushing all over me, yeah?”
“I- fuck, I-” You can’t help but stutter, babbling through fuzzy thoughts. Every single part of you begs for release—muscles aching, skin sheen with sweat and tight walls clenching on their own—but he’s right; your body still humps against his every thrust, sorry little movements that achieve nothing but making you beg and blubber louder.
“One more time, princess,” he coos, throbbing cock straining against your ass, “and we can sleep.” Somewhere in your hazy brain, you know he’s lying, know he’ll be wide awake for days to come.
Dabi never gets a good night’s sleep, but it’s fine; he’s always quite content fucking you unconscious.
#dabi#bnha smut#touya todoroki#dabi x reader#dabi x y/n#tw overstimulation#tw daddy kink#tw somnophilia
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Day 6: Hand Kink
Day 6 of Kinktober! Already almost a week in, huh… I figured I’d dip into the rich Japanese side of mythology this time. I hope this is an acceptable tribute… Find my Kinktober Masterlist here.
Warnings: Minors DNI, this is 18+ content ONLY. Trigger warnings for violence mentioned including physical assault, some family abuse dynamics, implied sexual assault (does not actually happen), and mild descriptions of death. Also sexual content including soft dom themes, PinV unprotected sex, entirely consensual.
Tags: Beast Youkai x reader, fox spirit x reader, exophilia, terato
Small Sun Showers
“It’s such a small thing, really.”
You slid the bag you’d brought into the hollow of the old tree. Avoiding the ropes strung around, you carefully sat on the rock next to the tree.
“I brought you some sweet buns, this time, with poppy seeds,” you said, ignoring the comment that had come from the dark hollow. “Since you said you missed some of the herbs.”
The sound of crinkling came from the hole, followed by the sounds of munching. “Attentive to me, as always, sweet one,” the disembodied voice cooed, though a moment later burning orange eyes stared at you from the darkness.
You studiously avoided the gaze, looking down at the grass under your feet. A sliver of shadow from the abandoned warehouse nearby fell over you, giving you some shade from the warm sun. As always, you didn’t respond to the epithets. You never did.
“How is the temple doing?” The voice asked.
“It’s fine,” you answered, almost automatically. “The festival is coming up soon, so everyone is excited.”
“And yet you do not, hmm?” The eyes tilted, as though the head had cocked at her curiously.
Your eyes slid away, more towards the forest beyond the tree. Unconsciously, your fingers tugged at the long sleeves you wore, despite the warm weather.
“I’m a little nervous,” you admitted. “As a Shrine Maiden, I’m supposed to be doing the Miko Kagura. I’ve been practicing, but…”
“You wear long sleeves again.” A hint of suspicion crept into the voice.
Despite yourself, you flinched. “I— I’m just-“
A low growl issued from the tree. “A spirit has been harassing you again, hasn’t it. Why haven’t you called an exorcist? Or told your Father, the Priest?”
You turned your head away. “It’s been contracted by someone else,” you admitted, voice thin. “I… can’t tell Papa.”
A pause. “Because it was bought at a high price.” A sneer laced the voice. “Then how do you plan to get rid of it? You can’t hold it off forever yourself. And it’s already injured you, hasn’t it.”
You shook your head. “I’ll find out a way. I can’t bother anyone else with it.” Your eyes slid closed, the bruises mottled up your arm throbbing.
“Or you could create a contract with something far more powerful,” came the slick purr. “If you’d only break the talisman, I would make a contract with you, sweet one.” The sealed beast offered, for not the first time.
“You are a beast youkai,” you answered, voice steady. “It is against your nature to bind yourself to anyone, much less become the guardian spirit of a small temple.” You reminded both him and yourself.
“Unless we have reason. Even the mightiest of beasts might be swayed by beauty such as yours.”
A bitter smile twisted your lips as you turned your face away. You? As if. The beast youkai only even spoke to you because you gave it food and paid attention to it out of your own loneliness, not because it somehow cared about you. You couldn’t bring yourself to really believe that.
With a soft sigh, you plucked at your sleeves. “What do you want me to bring you next time?”
But the voice stayed quiet for a moment. When it spoke again, something in its voice had changed. “Do you truly not believe me? I do not lie when I say that I would bind myself to you. I would never let you be injured. I would protect you, like your family cannot. I would hold you close,” the voice said, a dreamy tone in its voice, “and I would shower you with everything you deserve.”
You fought the tears that welled in your eyes as you abruptly stood, grabbing your bag. “If you don’t have any requests, I’ll just bring anything,” you interrupted, struggling to make sure your voice didn’t waver.
A sigh, so soft that you wondered if it were only the wind. “A meat bun.”
You nodded, then headed back down the hillside towards home. Reaching up, you angrily smeared your tears from your cheeks, breath hitching on your sobs.
You could never allow yourself to believe the words of a youkai, much less a powerful and dangerous one like him. No matter how sweet his words, how genuine they sounded… Everyone always lied to you. He would be no exception.
You tried to ignore the little part of you that wondered if maybe, just maybe, dying at the hands of the youkai would be better than continuing the misery of your life.
~
“Fouuuund youuuu.” A yawning mouth sprang from the darkness, black eyes fixed with crazed bloodlust on your body.
You dropped to the floor, scrambling across the hardwood to slide towards the doorway. Leaping back up, you ran for your life. Your breaths came fast and shallow as you blindly ran, tripping through the dark halls of the temple. Behind you, you could hear cackling laughter as its talons scrabbled after you.
You reached out your hand, then burst though the main doors, stumbling across the stones out front. Looking up, you froze.
An entire group of men stood in front of you, all staring at you with leering, jeering faces. The one in the front, the one your brain automatically assumed was the leader, stepped forwards.
“Well, well. Would you look at that.” He grinned, his eyes sliding over your shoulder.
Something grabbed your arm, wrenching you back. You stifled a cry, sinking your teeth into your lip as claws brutally dug into the bruises already all up your arm. The spirit held you, its tight grip almost unbearable.
“I guess the boy must really hate his family, huh?” the man sneered, hands in his pockets as he stared at you down his nose. Reaching out with his foot, he kicked at you like some sort of trash. “To think that he’d offer his own younger sister in exchange for his debts.”
Your heart sank. Of course. Your brother who had gotten into debt with the yakuza. Of course he’d offer you: the only girl, the precious little shrine maiden.
Sadly enough, it didn’t even surprise you. But at least now you figured out why the spirit had haunted you in particular so insistently, and how much trouble you were in. Which, you snorted bitterly to yourself, was a lot. Probably at risk of your life, at best.
A wild thought flashed through your head, desperate but somehow… insistent. Your eyes briefly scanned the crowd of men. You were smaller than most of them, and probably in better shape at this point. If you managed to get a brief head start, you weren’t too far away— enough to maybe be able to get there just fast enough. But you’d have to immobilize the spirit first, at least temporarily.
Thickly, you swallowed, closing your eyes and breathing in deeply. You had enough. Just enough for one— Your other hand landed on the spirit’s as your eyes flew open. The spirit let out a piercing shriek, letting go of you as the searing spiritual energy burst through your palm. You didn’t hesitate.
Breaking into a dead sprint, you headed straight for the hill behind the temple. Behind you, you could hear the angry shouts of the men as they started after you. You pushed yourself, ignoring it, taking as many shortcuts as you could, heart pounding in your ears as you gasped for air. Your legs were starting to ache, and you could hear them gaining on you; but the warehouse was in sight.
Skidding around the corner, you ran straight for the tree. Your hand reached for the talisman.
When the yakuza men caught up to you, they found you kneeling at the base of the tree, a shattered seal at your feet.
Tears streaked down your cheeks as you whispered into the hollow. “Please… if you help me, just this once… I’ll give you myself in exchange,” you promised weakly.
“It’s too late now, little girl,” the boss sneered, starting to step towards you. “You’re coming with us.”
But before he could say anything more or another move was made, a dark mist began to swirl around the area. Shouts of confusion arose as the mist covered everything, too dark to see through, almost too dark to even move in safely. A low, grating laugh spilled from the darkness, just as you felt yourself being lifted up.
Startled, you gasped softly and clung to the solidity you could feel under your fingers. Lips parted, you stared at the familiar orange eyes that slowly materialized in front of you. A wide, fanged grin split the darkness underneath the eyes; and slowly, a body started to emerge from the swirling dark mist.
“Well hello there, my sweet one,” the familiar voice cooed. Long, pitch black hair tied in a low ponytail framed a pale face. The beast youkai, one that you now recognized as a Fox, held you effortlessly in one arm, pulling you close to his chest. He towered above the ground, dwarfing you in every way possible. His entire hand curled around almost your entire thigh.
You swallowed. “H-hello,” you whispered tremulously, not even sure what to think at this point.
“You released me,” he murmured, his eyes fixed on you. He leaned forward, and his nose brushed against your cheek as a soft purr rumbled through his chest, reverberating down into you.
Your fingers clenched in his robe, surprise flittering through you that he wasn’t… leaving. Or killing you.
“My brave darling,” the youkai fairly gushed, nosing against you. “Now I can finally fulfill my promise to you.”
“Promise?” you repeated dumbly, mind whirling. What-?
He chuckled. “I told you, didn’t I? That I would contract with you, if you set me free. Protect you, cherish you as you should be.”
He’d actually meant it? What?
“I…” You stared up at his orange eyes, fixed on you intensely. Your breath stuck in your throat as the familiar ache of longing overcame you. Reminded you of your stupidity, falling in love with the beast youkai that you thought would never even glance at you if he were free.
“Of course I’ll do anything for you,” he purred, his tongue flicking out to briefly lick away the tear-streak on your cheek. “As if I would deny you when you offer me the one thing I truly desire more than anything else.” He grinned, eyes sparking. “You.”
And then his fingers tilted your chin up, and your eyes squeezed shut as his lips landed on yours. The kiss was warm and soft, surprisingly so. You could feel your spiritual energy gravitating towards him, could feel it wrapping around him, infusing him, as he made a contract binding him to you and your spiritual energy. He reluctantly let go of your lips, the dizzying kiss making your head spin as you gasped for breath.
“My name is Kaz, sweet one,” he murmured, orange eyes half-lidded in simmering contentment.
Unthinkingly, you repeated the name. “Kaz…”
His eyes glowed. “Now then. Why don’t we start with these filth?”
In the next moment, the mist cleared to reveal that everyone now stood in the empty warehouse. Kaz still held you in his arm, keeping you close against his chest as he stared at the yakuza men starting to reorient themselves.
The boss cursed, glaring at you and Kaz. “Hand her over,” he spat, bristling. “She’s ours.”
But Kaz only laughed, his teeth baring as feral glee glittered in his eyes. “Give you my precious shrine maiden?” he cackled. “Didn’t you ever consider the fact that she is in fact a shrine maiden at a temple, with her own powerful spiritual energy? Enough to make a contract with a powerful beast like me?” He licked his lips. “And your blood… smells wonderful.”
Some of the men started to look wary, clearly leery about the sheer size of Kaz, especially in comparison with you.
Kaz tilted his head toward you, just as he flicked his fingers. A soft sort of puffy cloud materialized beside him, and he gently set you on it. “Stay here while I get rid of these nuisances,” he said gently, his fingers brushing across your cheek. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” With one last sickeningly sweet smile, he turned towards the men. A sword materialized in his hand, practically the size of your entire body.
You looked away, bile rising in your throat. The blood drained from your face as you heard the men screaming, the sound of the carnage making you reach up to clap your hands over your ears. Though you were sure the men were far from innocent or deserving of mercy, the brutality of their deaths was undeniable. A high-pitched, inhuman shriek indicated that the spirit they’d contracted had also been shredded by Kaz.
It made you wonder. How powerful was Kaz, exactly-?
After another moment, you felt Kaz lift you up again in his arm. Eyes flying open, you grasped at his shoulders as he pulled you close against himself again. His other blood-spattered hand still held his sword, but his eyes were adoringly fixed on you.
Reaching up, you absently wiped away a tiny drop of blood off of his jaw. “Thank you,” you whispered. Despite yourself… you felt safe.
His eyes visibly lit up, and his grin widened as he gazed up at you. “Ah, my darling praises me!” You could swear his eyes had hearts in them. “Do I get a kiss?” His grin turned teasing.
You swallowed thickly. “I… I promised you myself if you helped me,” you said weakly. “It’s all I can really give you… besides my spiritual energy—“
Kaz leaned forwards, his face so close that you could almost feel his breath against your lips. “Be my bride,” he whispered, his voice a heady murmur.
You breath hitched. “K-Kaz?” Had you… heard him right-?
“You offered me yourself, darling,” he purred. “So, be my bride. I am contracted to you, aren’t I? So I will be an impertinent beast and ask the shrine maiden to be my bride without shame.”
You closed your eyes. “Okay,” you whispered.
He paused, as though he himself didn’t believe you’d agreed.
Because you both knew that as a youkai contracted to someone with spiritual energy, you had the power to entirely command him to do anything… and deny him anything. Yet here you were, agreeing to be his bride.
“Okay, Kaz,” you repeated, not meeting his eyes. You could feel the color splash across your face.
But in all honesty, it wasn’t as though you really had many other options. Kaz could promise you some sort of safety even against your own family, and his power was certainly enough to protect you against other youkai. It had taken one of the highest-complexity talismans to even seal him away in the first place, and you could already feel through the contract how powerful he was.
The idea of being his bride… wasn’t really disagreeable.
“Darling,” Kaz breathed. His lips gently slid against yours, the touch soothing and almost… grounding. “I’ll be a most devoted husband, I promise,” he murmured.
You closed your eyes and decided that you would try to believe.
The talisman had been such a small thing, really.
~
You smiled as you walked down the street, stretching your hand out to gather the raindrops that pattered down and pooled in your palm. The weather had been beautiful, but despite the warm sunshine and hardly a cloud being in the sky, it had still decided to rain.
Pausing in the middle of the empty sidewalk, you lifted your face and let the raindrops splash against your face in a cooling shower. You loved the rain, the way it seemed to wash away all your heavy worries and soothe the ragged edge in your soul.
A shadow fell over you, and you opened your eyes to see Kaz standing above you, smiling down at you. He leaned down and swept you up into his arm, one hand holding your thigh while the other wrapped around your waist. A startled laugh fell from your lips as you held onto his shoulders.
“Is my darling enjoying the fox wedding?” he cooed.
You flushed, just then realizing the common name for the burst of cloudless rain. You gave him a shy smile, then nodded.
He chuckled. “Should we celebrate, sweet one? I can give you a gift, if you like.” Between one breath and another, he’d shifted you both somewhere else.
You gasped, eyes widening as you saw that you were floating on a soft, wispy cloud, now deep in the forest on the outskirts of town. A place no other people were, where the rain pattered softly against the leaves of the trees and dripped to the undisturbed grasses below. Flowers bloomed beneath your cloudy carpet ride, and you leaned over to brush your fingers through the colorful blooms.
The cloud rose a little, coming to a stop and floating peacefully. Kaz pulled you into his lap, his hands wrapping around your entire waist. He smiled, watching your expressions as you looked around in delight.
“And what do you think of your wedding veil, my darling bride?” Kaz murmured, leaning down to brush his nose against your hair.
You looked down at the long, wispy cloud under you, and smiled. “It’s pretty. Thank you, Kaz.” You tilted your head back to smile at him.
His orange eyes flared, and he caught your lips in a burning kiss that seared through you like foxfire. Letting out a surprised squeak, you grasped his robe, fingers tangling in it for support as he pulled you closer, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. Your head spun as your eyes fluttered closed.
When he finally parted, you gasped a little for air, blinking dazedly. His hand gently slid up your waist and side, sliding to your back, pulling you flush against him. He pressed another kiss to your lips. You realized, with a burst of embarrassment, that the rain had entirely soaked your shirt, plastering it to your body and leaving rather little to the imagination.
“Darling, my darling,” Kaz murmured against your lips, “won’t you let me touch you?” His hands slid down your body, fingers caressing you sensually.
You bit your lip, heat staining your face. It wasn’t fair. He knew your weakness for his hands. His large, strong hands that held you close, admired your body with touch. His calloused, capable hands that protected you, defended you, worked for you.
You nodded shyly, peeking up at him. Your lips parted in a gasp as his hands slid under your shirt, starting to map out your skin. His tongue slid against yours in a soft kiss, almost distracting you from how his hands deftly explored your body.
It almost startled you when your back landed against the cloud, Kaz hovering above you with his hands wrapped around your waist. His robe slipped open, sliding down his shoulders as he observed you with burning eyes.
“So beautiful, darling,” he purred, his hands trailing down to your pants. “Can I touch? Please?”
Shyly, you nodded, one hand over your mouth as you let out a quiet whimper, chest heaving with breath. Kaz’s hands were so broad, so warm… handled you with such a reverent sort of gentility and softness that you couldn’t help but bask in it, melt into it.
A steady purr rumbled through his chest as he kissed his way down your jaw and neck, fingers sliding into your pants and underwear to pull them off. Sliding his hands under you, he pulled your body up against him, lips sliding across yours.
Your hands braced you against his chest as you gasped, feeling his cock land heavily against your stomach. It throbbed against you, but he quickly distracted you as one hand slid into your hair, pulling your head back. He pressed a kiss to your lips, his mouth hot against your skin.
“So tiny and sweet,” Kaz mumbled against your neck, his voice half-drunk. His fingers slid across your thigh wrapped around his waist, and he lowered his hips, pushing you into the plush softness of the cloud. Your mind started to fuzz, entirely focused on the way his hands grasped at you, somehow greedy and gentle all at once, and the way he handled you with that deft confidence yet tender infatuation.
“Kaz,” the moan left your lips before you could quite help it, your entire body humming at every brush of his fingers.
His answering hum was low and amused as he started to gently slide into you, making you gasp and arch. His cock slid into you without resistance. You’d gotten so wet just thanks to his soft touches and gentle attention. He murmured your name against your lips as he slid wholly into you, seating himself inside with a heavy breath.
You whimpered, biting your lip as you tried to somehow ground yourself. Everything had started to go fuzzy, especially as his hands wrapped entirely around your hips and pulled you down onto his cock, his grasp iron as he ground up into you.
His pace, once he started thrusting, stayed steady and almost agonizingly slow. But when you whined, he chuckled and slid his fingers between your lips instead. You let his lithe fingers gently play with your tongue, while his other hand kept you anchored to him.
You could feel the coil inside you steadily growing, getting tighter, closer to the edge. Everything felt so hazy and light, like the solidity of his body was the only real thing, the only think that mattered. Like his hands were the only things that kept you grounded, held you down, safe from drifting away.
“K-Kaz.” Your teary eyelids opened to gaze up at his face.
“Does this please you, my darling?” Kaz murmured, sliding his fingers out of your mouth and down to press against your clit.
“I— I love you.” Your fingers curled against his chest.
His orange eyes widened, then flooded with that pure, infatuated adoration. “I love you, my sweet darling,” he purred, kissing you. “And I am so entirely yours.”
The coil in your stomach snapped, your orgasm washing over you with a force that left you lightheaded and dizzy. The pleasure suffused your entire body until you were gasping, tears streaking down your cheeks as you whimpered.
You finally floated down from your high to the feeling of Kaz’s hands sweeping over you. He murmured soft endearments into your ear, pressing soft kisses to your skin. He pulsed inside you, but still kept his pace slow and steady as he fucked you through the aftershocks.
Wrapping your hands around his neck, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck. His hands clenched around your hips, and he let out a groan as he rested his head beside yours. You could tell that he was so close, his hips starting to stutter.
“You feel so lovely, so warm and tight and soft, darling,” Kaz groaned. “Please, can I—“
“It’s okay, Kaz,” you reassured sweetly, voice shy. “You can.”
He jerked one more time, sinking into you with a low groan. His entire body shuddered as he came, pouring into you as he gripped your thighs hard enough to leave fingerprints. For once, you didn’t mind the bruises.
Pulling back, he caught your lips in a deep kiss, mouth slanting over yours. He poured the love, the gratitude, the adoration between your lips until you felt as though you could drown in it.
“I will always protect you,” he promised against your lips.
And for once, you believed the promise.
It was such a small thing, really.
#elysiadjarinkinktober#elysiadjarin#my writing#mywriting#x reader#kinktober#fox spirit x reader#Youkai#japanese mythology#Youkai x reader#Exophilia#monster x human#nsft#smut#terato#monsterboyfriend#monsterlover#monsterfucker#x you
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