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gaybatmanenthusiast · 11 months

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A KILLING HEARTBREAK (oneshot)

(billy loomis x gn! reader)

⋆★ word count : 1,275

⋆★ warnings : angst, severe sadness, mentions of death, idk what else to warn abt!!

⋆★ abt : reader and Billy are all lovey dovey, then it all goes down hill from there

⋆★ extra : n/a

You were a new student at Woodsboro High School, and you didn't really know anyone. You sat alone in the cafeteria when a group of students walked in. You recognized one of them as Billy Loomis, the most popular guy in school. Most girls talked about him so you picked up quick on that. He was surrounded by his friends, but he looked bored and uninterested in their conversation.

You couldn't help but stare at him. He was tall, with dark hair and dark brown eyes that you could get lost in. You had seen him around school before, but you had never talked to him. He was always surrounded by his friends, and you were far too shy to approach him.

But one day, you were walking home from school when you saw Billy sitting alone on a bench. He was staring at the ground, clearly lost in thought. You mustered up the courage to approach him. Thinking your head it was a bad idea once you got close enough.

"Hey, Billy," you said, trying to sound casual. you failed at that, you were obviously nervous.

He looked up at you, surprised. "Hey," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. eyes locked on yours.

You sat down next to him, and there was an awkward silence between you. You didn't know what to say, and he seemed to be lost in thought again.

After a few minutes, he spoke up. "I'm sorry if I seem out of it," he said. "I just have a lot on my mind."

You nodded, not knowing what else to say. But then he surprised you by opening up to you. He told you about his parents' divorce, and how he was struggling to deal with it. He talked about how he felt like he had to put on a brave face for his friends, but how he was really hurting inside.

You listened to him, and you could tell that he was relieved to have someone to talk to. You didn't judge him or try to fix his problems. You just listened and offered him a sympathetic ear.

From that day on, you and Billy became friends. You would often see him sitting alone on the bench, lost in thought, and you would sit down next to him. You would talk about anything and everything, and he would open up to you more and more.

Eventually, your friendship turned into something more. You would sneak away from school and spend hours talking in private. He would hold your hand and tell you how much he appreciated you. You would kiss under the stars, and he would tell you that he loved you.

You never would have guessed that the most popular guy in school would fall for you, but he did.

THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN HILL SO ⚠️

Skip to 13 months in the future, a month or so after your one year anniversary. Your relationship with Billy was going strong, and you were happy. But then, everything changed. People in your town started getting murdered, and the killer was still on the loose. You were scared, but you had Billy to protect you. He was strong and brave, and he promised to keep you safe.

But then, you found out that Billy was the killer. That night at the party, You weren’t supposed to be there, but you snuck over anyways later on because Tatum wanted you there. Little did you know that night was going to ruin you forever. You arrived late, the front door was locked and you knocked a couple of times no one answered. So you went around the back to get in the garage way, or the back door at-least. You saw Tatum hanging from the small doggie door, on the garage door. You’d let out the most piercing and raw scream, tears filling your eyes you couldn’t handle seeing her like this. You’d ran over to her trying to wake her up, it didn’t work you knew it wouldn’t but you had to try. After trying to regain your composure, it obviously didn’t work. You still tried though, but that image of her will always be ingrained into your brain.

Then the worry and hurt started to get worse, adrenaline building up. You knew Billy was at this party so you walked past Tatums body and went inside. It was a stupid idea but you weren’t thinking about your safety only his. You started to feel the tears coming again; the thoughts of Billy gone flooding your head. Then you heard it, as you reached the door. Sidney panicking over to Stu, then the ghostface voice “Surprise Sidney “.

The shock you felt couldn’t be described, then again it got worse. He and Billy then revealed that they were both the killer. You couldn’t handle it, this and Tatum you started sobbing hard. You got scared knowing how loud you were and that they definitely would have heard you; you started backing away from the garage door that lead into the house, then Billy came into the garage knife in hand, covered in blood.

You’d never felt so betrayed and hurt in your life, it was a gut wrenching discovery. At first you didn’t want to believe it, your Billy? your sweet Billy, the man you’ve spent the last 13 months with; laughing, bonding and most of all trusting each other. He had opened up to you let you in and you had done the same, you knew things were bad with him and his mental health. But you hadn’t thought he could have done such heinous acts. He had been working with his friend Stu to.. murder people. Your classmates. Your principal. You just couldn't believe that the person you loved was capable of such terrible things.

Billy tried to explain himself, but you couldn't listen. You blocked everything he said out, everything was a blur at this point. Your head feeling hazy and your mind going blank. You were too hurt, betrayed, tired, everything just happened so fast. You ran away from him, and you didn't look back. You ran so fast and so far, you didn’t even notice how far you had ran until you collapsed on the side of the road. You then called the police, you did it so fast you could barely comprehend that you did it.

You were traumatized by what had happened, even if it wasn’t directly at you the pain and guilt of being with a man so sinister. Him being so evil right under your nose and you didn’t even notice. You couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat, and you couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. You felt like your world had been turned upside down.

You tried to talk to your therapist about what had happened, but they didn't understand. They didn't know what it was like. They didn't know what it was like to be scared all the time. You felt like you were alone in the world, and you didn't know how to cope. You started having panic attacks, and you couldn't leave your house without feeling like all eyes were on you.

It took a long time for you to heal from what had happened. You went to therapy, and you talked to your family about your feelings. You slowly started to feel like yourself again. But you knew that you would never be the same. You would always carry the scars of what had happened with you. You would always wonder how you could have been so blind to Billy's true nature. You would always be scared of falling in love again.

#male reader #billy loomis #x male reader #billy loomis x male reader #scream #x reader #scream 1996 #writers on tumblr #billy loomis x m! reader #m!reader #gn!reader #billy loomis x female reader #billy loomis x gn! reader #billy loomis x f! reader

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whatstheoccasion · 2 years

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YOUVE GIVEN ME THE GO AHEAD FOR LAWS EARRINGS NOW i am sorry (not really) but consider this: law's daughter who wants to get her ears pierced as soon as she hits her teenage years bc she's been so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 over her dad's piercings since forever! law's lowk a very Dramatic parent in my opinion who would secretly never want his kid to feel an inch of pain (he is Protective) and tries to dissuade her from getting them done but she gets the same piercings anyways! after recovering from the initial shock (how could she, why did you let her etc etc.) he actually loves them bc theyre matching!!!!1!1 ++ i can imagine the daughter as a toddler fiddling with his earrings bc theyre Shiny and Gold (and she has her priorities straight at shiny and gold things) whenever she wants like he could be giving bepo death threats while she just crawls into his lap and begins tugging at them and the polar bears just laughing his goddamn ass off bc how can he take law seriously when he's this close to yelping like a toddler himself

((also u are VERY right abt the astrology stuff how 😭😭 and whys an aries moon scary .... i watched dressrosa ages ago ive forgotten n i need to catch up to wano though ive been spoiled with almost everything of note LMAO )) -- 😹

kitten anon my beloved I'M DEVASTATED 💔 THIS IS SO CUTE I DON'T EVEN WANT TO ADD MORE TO THIS!!

but i will. lmao

listen. law would throw a FIT over his daughter getting piercings. before actually being a dad, he thought he would be chill about most things, he's a goddamned pirate captain after all, and he knows most things don't need to be made such a big deal out of. he thought he'll be a cool dad who just shrugs over things like tattoos and piercings, but. BUT.

this is his daughter he's talking about!! his baby!! a chubby little thing who loved to chew on his clothes and babble out the word 'papa' and snatch his earrings just yesterday!! what do you mean he's not in control of her actions anymore? surely this means he won't be able to protect her?

he's a drama king but please understand he just doesn't want his family hurt– even by a tiny disinfected needle. he's brooding in the outside, face in a pout and dark aura coming out of him, hands on his sword while he scowls at his crew, "who the hell let this happen?", like they're at fault for not watching over her, his daughter uselessly trying to calm him down.

once he gets over it, though, his chest feels warmth all over. he was always so scared of fucking up his kid, turning them into an irreparable mess, but. his daughter loves him enough to go through a little bit of pain just to match with him, and it's that thought that makes him smile before bed at night, your knowing eyes twinkling with victory because you know he's not upset anymore.

he'll never tell her how much he appreciates it, because he doesn't want to condone to her doing things he considers dangerous without his approval, but the next day he'll bring her medicine for her to take care of them and tell her that they look, *cough*, *scowl*, "good."

it's honestly his fault to begin with, because as a child he used to buy her every cute thing that caught his eyes. strawberry earrings, bobby pins with polar bear stickers, fluffy pink hair ties. he also dedicated a certain amount of his free time to customize her clothes so the three of you would subtly match– he spoiled her in his own ways. so, give him a few more days and she'll see in her room new earrings, ones made costumed by law. if someone compliments her in public abt her new piercings and she points at law saying, "thanks, it's a matching set with my dad!!" he'll feel so warm, they might just catch him smiling before he calls her out for talking to strangers 💀

he'll have a talk with her to tell her that if she ever wants to do more piercings, that she should come to him. he knows his stuff and he cleans anything he uses. with him, she won't get sick or infected, and since it's seemingly impossible to control her, might as well get it done by someone who knows what they're doing. "next time just come to me for these things," he says, face as serious as ever. she squeaks and thanks him, hugging his stiff form, "even tattoos?!" she beams. law grimaces, "don’t push it."

#[ letter from: 😹 ]#[ answered ]#LOVE IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE #sundays r so busy for me fr. but i logged in on tumblr yesterday ALL DAY!!! to reread this #chubby law babygirl made my heart jump #dad!law #trafalgar law x reader #feel fre to gush abt any law thoughts you have friend #ALSO ASTROLOGY THINGY: idk i like kpop and all the idols with aries moon look intimidating!! 🤕

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lostmykeysie · 1 year

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hi keysie! i dnt use tumblr like at all but i recently just finished reading the horcrux hunt n the missing link and boy do i hve thoughts i need to share. listen, ur writing is absolutely phenomenal n i cannot stop thinking abt it morning, noon n night. the way u write the friendship between regulus n remus has me crying n laughing all at the same time. they care abt each other sm. it feels so real to me. i love them so so so much.

honestly, i wasnt sure how i felt abt the platonic kissing at first but as i read on i get it. the way u portray their dynamic it js fits so well. i literally adore the way they talk to each other n ive honestly hvent found any other works like it. im so glad they had each other during the war and everything.

some aspects of their friendship tht rlly hve my heart/stuck w me:

- the fact tht regulus starts questioning his view of everything bc remus came into his life !!

-n the fact he goes into the wolfsbane project (mostly?) bc of remus - THEIR NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER

-regulus (especially the 'You’ve got me tearing my hair out here Rom, I’m so worried.' letter) n lilys letters to remus during the december moon 😭😭

-the fact tht they share memories on the pensieve w each other js so tht the other cn understand their feelings. IT FEELS SO INTIMATE. its like when ure telling ur friend a problem tht u cnt quite change but u js need them to listen yk?

-"I think the Lupins were always meant to be a four piece set, and now we’ve finally got you." I ADORE THEM!! regulus n hopes relationship 💗💗💗

-when regulus was like how cld u sirius??? he thought u were the love of his life n u thought he was a traitor??? i cld kill u rn. me too reg me too.

speaking of wolfstar angst,, u wrote them so well!! my heart cracks little by little with every fight they hve in the camden flat but theyre doing sm better now in tml it makes me SO happy. the fight where remus leaves for his parents house yet still left pieces of himself in the flat BROKE ME.

the fact tht remus wnted to tell sirius n the others wht he was doing so bad but cldnt, n in the end he knew it was right not to bc of the rat. honestly, the way u decipt peter has me in shambles. bc like, he was ready to betray them frm THE START yk?? like he literally became animagi for remus n STILL tried to frame him. id feel violent as well.

and lily, oh gods lily. i love her so much. the fact tht she cried bc she realised she loved james n felt like she was losing a piece of herself bc she thought tht meant she didnt love alice anymore??? broke me once again. alice is one of my favourite characters and no matter how minor of a role she plays in any fic i still love her dearly. i, too, would be in love w her.

i also love tht lily n remus were still able to repair their friendship even w everything tht happened. i dont rmb wht happened to the polaroid, did lily take it w her?

the girls + dorcas n reg getaway!!! dorcas' face jewellery omg 💗💗 i also plan to get a few piercings to my face when i cn in the future :)

reg n lily hving a truce in muggle waitrose is so funny n endearing to me bc theyre hving a heart to heart while picking up cheese and like?? breadsticks 😭😭

oh well, this is getting quite long i think. my last point: jegulus!!

ill be honest i stumbled upon the missing link before the horcrux hunt bc i was looking for jegulus fics but after seeing reg n remus interact i HAD to go bck m read thh. no regrets, i enjoyed it dearly.

reg n james kissing n reg js being like nope nope im not gns process tht. BUT LIKE NOW THEYRE HOLDING HANDS !! honestly i love how reg treats harry, their interactions has my heart. if i were james n i saw reg n my son interacting, id already be a gooey puddle on the floor, james has quite the self control. tho considering it is physically impossible for it to happen, i think he has already metaphorically melted into a gooey puddle on the floor.

lastly the part where remus was talking abt how haz takes after all the four of them. one of my favourite moments honestly.

now this is quite a lot, so if u do end up reading all of this, thank u for writing thh n tml. 💗

sending lots of love x

hi darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all i just want to say this is the LONGEST ask i have ever had lmao i didn't even know you were allowed this many characters your power is unmatched xxx it's like you wrote me a lil story you're the best xxx

i love regus friendship and i can't even remember why i was like 'you know what i need to write about this' but i will NEVER write them as anything but bffs ever again i am obsessed with them i love them so much i'm so glad you do too xxx

i think the platonic kissing was a bit of a wild ride for us all and i think some folks were a bit worried it wouldn't come across as platonic because it feels like such a romantic thing but i think once we got used to it it just became *their thing* you know?? and i love it so so much i love them and they love each other i love their dynamic so much

i love your list of faves <3 i just love the concept of people having fave things and moments it makes me sooooo happy. i think our faves are quite similiar, reggie doing the wolfsbane trial defo for me. the first night they got drunk together in reggie's flat is also close to my heart<3 and of course reg seeing sirius for the first time in years and defending remus <3

the wolfstar angst hurts but it's also just... it's not *easy* to write but they just have so much angst they really have fought a war for their relationship and it's never been smooth sailing and i'm glad i didn't just throw them together happily ever after once the war was over because it just didn't feel real enough you know? BUT i feel like we've earned the fluff now and that is ALL we have now for these last four chapters it's fluff fluff smut and fluff and i can't wait <3 <3 it tastes so much sweeter now because of the angst you know

peter was a tough one because i feel like canon implies he's just a coward but that's just. not enough for me, you know? and he's canonically a hat stall so i just love the idea he's actually this menacing creature that is so selfish and self centred that as soon as he thought he wouldn't be on the winning side of the war and voldemort had more to give him he just dipped. like how you can forsake your best friends of ten years you have to be a horrid person and a coward just doesn't cover that for me!!!!! but a person driven by selfish motivation their whole life, loyal to only themselves???? yes please

i LOVE lily i love sapphic lily but i LOVE the idea of jily being best friends. lily is so mature, much more mature - emotionally too - than the rest of them, especially the boys. it is a bit heartbreaking to not only give her unrequited love for her best friend but then to kill alice.... such an ouch i wont lie. but i love her. and i'm really excited for her future in this series too, i didn't just want to shove her into a relationship like she's got trauma to get over healthily and a kid and everything she deserves a proper arc <3

lily did take the polaroid!!! she has it in a drawer at the moment but it won't stay there <3

dorcas is a legend and i love them they're such a fun character to write and i might be inspired enough to re-pierce my other nostril and get an eyebrow... i want a ring through my eyebrow soooo bad

i love reg and lily and they will only get closer <3 <3

omg me and you both. i feel like reg is accidentally great with kids and james potter is the daddiest daddy so of course if you're great with his kid he's gonna love you. that definitely sold reg for him i think. i also love him so much in this fic because i feel like he just *knows* how to deal with the black brothers. he's not pushing reg for anything despite being quite obviously his biggest fan and i love him for it i actually LOVE them. and i didn't expect to! this is my first jegulus fic and idk if i'll write them again outside of this universe/series but i love them so much i feel like they've come together so well and they complement each other and i LOVE THEM

i do love little harry and i cannot wait for harry to grow up with all four (and more) of them raising him. i will defo do follow up fics in this series without a doubt because i just have to for my own sake xxx

thanks so much for coming and writing me your own little story in my ask box hahahah sorry it took so long for me to get to it, i am chronically OFFline xxxxxx kisses xxxxxxx hope you enjoy the final few chapters !!!!!!!!!

#someone asked me a q #lovely wonderful babe #thanks for coming to see me it's especially lovely when a non tumblr person does i feel all flustered and blushin #the missing link #my response was a bit long so i stuck it under the cut sorry if this took over your dash folks!

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i-like-sparkly-things · 3 years

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Right in front of you

A Halstead!sister

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? Or being caught?"

Requested : Yes by @study-coffee-chicago : They found out she cheated on a test in high school...and Jay's the one who has to pick her up.

Warnings : angry!Jay (lots of it), alcohol, swearing, anxiety attacks

Note : I am so so so sorry this so longg 😭 I ended up so far away from the actual request kayela please don't block mee 😭 butt I've learned alot in writing abt active and passive voices and using more imagery Yayy!! I'm so glad that yall are ok with my grammar thank uu🥺

MASTERLIST HERE

The piles of homework and flashcards you needed to memorize had no end in sight, and now that Will was taking nightshifts along with his usual double shifts, and intelligence was tracking down an underground drug cartel, you spent most days alone, allowing your mind to engulf you.

Every time you sat down to study, you felt a striking pain in your chest. In mere seconds the air was sucked out of your lungs and you found yourself panting, desperate to get oxygen back into your body.

You would be surrounded by books and worksheets and you could swear the walls of your room were closing in towards you, trapping you in a sea of incomplete work.

You failed to follow the schedules and to do lists you had made for yourself. Staring at them, hoping the essays would write themselves.

All you needed, was a break. A moment to relax from anything and everything.

So when your best friend mentioned that her brother used to drink a little before he appeared for an exam, your mind was quick to catch on.

Last night you had borrowed a little bit of beer from Jay's stash of alcohol and took a few sips of it as you studied.

The more you drank, the less bitter it became. It was a weird, new sensation, but it worked nonetheless.

Except now, you were sitting in the girls bathroom at school, ramaging through your notes, trying to recollect what you had learned yesterday.

You saw what you had underlined and highlighted— names in pink and important dates in yellow—but your mind came up blank.

Flipping the pages you saw people in wigs, and castles burning to the ground —None of which you recognized.

A wave of anxiety rippled through you unable to comprehend your next thought —you were going to fail.

Your head was throbbing as you ran a hand down face, massaging your temples trying to calm yourself down.

You took out your water bottle that you had filled with beer and swallowed a few gulps, hoping that it would help you think straight.

You groaned, feeling the sting of alcohol at the back of your throat, popping some mints into your mouth, you ran towards the exam hall.

***

Your foot bounced on the polished wood floors as sweat pooled on your forehead.

You thought you were careful —only taking a peek from your friends answer sheet when Mrs.Ling's back was facing you.

Everything would have worked out if it wasn't for that kid sitting behind you. In a split second your teacher turned around, when he dropped his pen, to see you peering over your partner's desk.

Now you were sitting in the principles office praying that Jay wouldn't be the one picking you up.

You could already imagine his anger at you for pulling him away from his case, only to find you cheated.

Unfortunately luck was not on your side today.

You dare not look at Jay as he entered the office, letting out a huff as he sat down. You could feel the rage emitting him, tension filling the room, as he burned holes looking at you.

"I'll get straight to the point" Your principal started.

"Please" Jay growled, struggling to contain himself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, when he got the call saying that you had cheated on your midterms.

You and Will were alike,at least he thought so, both good at science and math but weak at geography and history. Nonetheless you continued to secure good grades for the most part.

"Y/n here, was caught cheating from a classmates answer sheet. Our teacher caught her red handed. I truly did not expect this from you. These midterms cost thirty percent of your grade..... "

Pretty soon his voice was muffled like he was getting farther and farther away from you. His figure swayed in front of you as you squinted your eyes to keep him in the center of your vision.

" You are suspended, Mrs halstead"

Your eyes widened , your body choosing the perfect time to bring out what little beer you had taken when you heard those words, letting the alcohol mix with the adrenaline.

"WHAT??!! " Damn, alcohol really bought out your courage as Jay stared at you in shock at your audacity.

"Y/n, your lucky I'm letting you retake the exam. That's only because you've had a clean record so far. I strongly suggest you start preparing early Ms. halstead" your principal said in a firm but monotone voice that left you speechless.

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

Oh god. Every now and then, the ground would sway beneath you, tiles shifting in your vision. But you counted your steps, carefully putting one foot in front of the other, not wanting Jay to find out what else you had done........ until now.

You tilted your head, only to be met with your brother's piercing stare but little did he know, now it made it infinitely harder to concentrate on your walking.

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? *Or being caught?*"

***

You rested your head on the seat as Jay entered the truck, flinching, when he slammed the door shut. Your pounding headache was getting worse by the minute, as your ears started to ring.

You blinked a few times squinting to focus on the road ahead of you but the fast-moving cars and the loud horns made you feel like your head was going to explode.

"Y/n," he addressed you, much calmer now.

You forced yourself to turn to your brother, who wore a confused expression.

But the moment he saw your deshelfed hair and your cracked lips, a wave of worry crashed over him. What the hell?

The truck came to a stop at a red light and Jay immediately scanned you over "Y/n?" he grabbed your chin, his jaw dropping, as he came face to face with reality.

"Are you drunk!!?" he barked , steam basically pouring out of his ears.

But your pleading eyes and empty silence gave him the answer he needed. "Are you kidding me??" he snarled as he slammed the steering wheel.

Oh God no. A blinding pain ripped through your head when Jay's palms made contact with the hard plastic. You winched turning your head away from your furious brother, letting out a whimper.

Jay's eyes widened at the sound, his heart breaking, realizing the pain you were in.

If he was going to be mad at you or at least punish you, you needed to be sober.

He stepped on the pedal as the light turned green taking a few breaths, trying to calm himself down.

With the vice lords reclaiming their territory and selling uncut fentanyl, bodies were dropping all over the city most of them being kids.

Kids..... your age.

Every kid at the morgue, just reminded him of you. He saw parents sobbing, begging for their kids to come back but Jay new better. They were never going to come home. Ever.

So he made it a priority to catch these ruthless creatures. He made it a priority over his sleep, over nine hours shifts and unknown to him, over spending time with you.

"Hey , hey" he whispered, not wanting to hurt you again, "We'll talk about this later ok? for now...... just..... it's ok..... I've got you" here reached out his hand, the other still on the steering wheel, to slowly rub your back as you tried to breath through the pain.

" I got you"

***

Jay wrapped a hand around you allowing you to hold onto him for support.

Silently, he deposited you on the couch, laying you down. He knew that he wasn't in any state to talk to you. He needed to clear his mind from his racing thoughts and rueful images of dying teenagers.

His phone rang, indicating that the district was awaiting him. "Here" he reluctantly shook your shoulders "Y/n, I need to go ok? Will will be here soon"

***

Almost half an hour had passed and you were waiting for Will to get out of the shower. You'd heard Jay explain everything to him over the phone.

You thought about how disappointed he would be.

Will —being the nerd he was— always helped you with your projects and gave you pop quizzes during breakfast, before your exams. He taught you how to organize flashcards just like he did in med school.

Even through your blurry thoughts, the image of Will's betrayed face and embarrassed eyes, knowing you cheated, lingered on your mind.

Your body was all over the place. Tiny noises echoing through your ear. Your muscles simultaneously aching and loose.

You were shivering as you tried to curl up into a ball. Your body trying to hold what little heat it had within itself.

But nothing stopped your tears.

You felt water drops make their way down your cheeks forming small splotches of water on the cushion you laid your head on.

And you didn't bother to wipe them away.

Will more or less was in the same state you were in. There was a multi-vehicle accident on the highway and victims were piling in the ED. He was running from one treatment room to the other, waiting to get back home and crash.

Will walked over to you with a huge glass of water and an advil, gently nudging you to sit up.

Your head still pounded, your eyes zoning in and out of the figure in front of you "Y/n, here drink the whole glass and take this" Will soothed, placing the glass and the pill in your hand "I—I'm sorry" You whispered, distracting yourself from Will's eyes.

Will knew he should be angry. Just like Jay was but he couldn't bring himself to blaming you, not until he had the full story anyway.

You looked so petite on the enormous couch, your legs folded on top of each other, arms shaking as you drowned the glass of water along with the Advil.

Your red puffy eyes and tear strained cheeks,were a contrast from your usual self. or he thinks. He's been pretty busy lately, so he's not too sure. " We'll talk about it later. I'm not angry. I promise"

He assured and was about to head to bed himself when you grabbed his wrist.

If he wasn't angry at you then maybe— just maybe—he would help you.

"Stay" You pleaded , the word falling from your lips just as easily as it had, many, many times before.

And just like before, you were met with Will's soft brown eyes filled with sympathy, ready to help. Ready—to be by your side.

He's slowly nodded climbing onto the couch, next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you nestled into him, laying your head on his chest.

You found some comfort as he embraced you, talking you under his arm and encompassing you in his warmth.

Holding on to him, you hoped that he would take your pain away, just like he did when you were little.

***

Will woke up to an uncomfortable feeling of something —or someone— tugging at his shirt.

He slowly opened his eyes allowing them to adjust to the light as he felt another a tug at his side. He looked over to you, but your eyes were shut, brimming with tears, your arm laid across his chest.

You were holding on to Will , using him as a lifeline, grounding you from the pain.

You felt a hand squeezing your own, stopping you from gripping the fabric "Y/n?" You opened your eyes to look up at will who had tears of his own, staring at the state you were in "it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here"

He encircles you, tighter than before, whispering soothing assurances into your hair.

***

With Will's help, the pain slowly subsides, allowing you access to your thoughts again.

You step out of the shower, into the living room and your eyes widen seeing Jay and Will sitting at the kitchen counter.

You didn't even hear Jay come in, but right now taking in his hardened glare, you didn't dare ask.

You knew what was coming and you didn't fight. You couldn't.

"So apparently we're cheating on our midterms now, huh?" Jay's calm voice made shivers run down your spine, starting to take rapid breaths.

"And apparently, someone thinks it's ok to steal alcohol from my stash" He gritted, never breaking I contact with you. "Do you think that's how the world works Y/n? DO YOU? BECAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING TEENAGER!!" He spat, his thoughts fuming towards your trembling body.

It was every dieing body flashing before his eyes, as the past months' agony slipped off his tongue.

"Jay" Will's voice was stern, giving a knowing look towards his younger brother and didn't bother to give Jay time to argue with him.

"Y/n, we need to know what's going on"

"With school, with tests with....... everything" he stated giving you a solemn look meaning every word he said, promising himself that he would do whatever it takes to figure out what had been going on.

You sucked in a breath weighing all your options. You didn't want them to think that you needed a babysitter or that you couldn't take care of yourself.

You knew that they had their own problems to worry about but you couldn't take it anymore.

You hated it.

The feeling of your lungs collapsing, struggling to find air for your body, your stress skyrocketing anytime you sat down to study, never getting any thing done.

All day long you would constantly tell yourself to do your work. Every spare second is spent in making a list of things you want to do but when it was time to actually do those things, your mind wandered and emptied.

You took another deep breath, looking up from your feet, your eyes meeting your brothers.

You spilled the past months events from how alone you were all the time and not being able to concentrate to how you ended up drunk at school and cheating on your midterms.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you your hands trembled. You stood crying in the middle of the room until you felt a pair of arms around you.

Will placed his hand at the nape of your neck as he stroked your back with the other "Breathe Y/n, just Breathe" He slowly pulled away leading you to the couch.

God, how he wished he could turn back time. Then he'd been more vigilant to notice the changes that had come over you.

You felt the couch dip on both sides but you intently studied your fingers, fumbling with the hem of your shirt and wiped the tears off your face. They were mad. No, they were furious. You knew it.

But for some reason, they weren't showing it. Maybe they were waiting-

"We're not mad"

You without your head around to look at Jay, furrowing your eyebrows in disbelief. Jay? Not mad? HA.

"but I am disappointed though, but that's only because you didn't tell us......

but stealing alcohol was bad too" he added, earning him a glare from Will.

"Y/n, what Jay means is— we could've helped with school . Homework . Tests . Anything, you name it. We will help" he assured, "But how do we know you need help, if you don't tell us?"

You sighed, taking in the weird turn of events that had happened before you. You had wasted all this time, trying to figure out all your problems out, when the answer was right in front of you.

A mountain of guilt now sat on Jay's shoulders, weighing down on him, pushing him deeper into a wormhole of 'if's'.

Maybe if he'd just been a little more careful, this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe if he'd stop and listen to you once in a while, this wouldn't have happened.

While trying to save kids out on the street, he forgot to care for the kid at home. You were his sister, and yet, here you are in front of him, barely keeping yourself together.

But that would change. Right here. *Right now.*

"Y/n," Jay started "If you would have told us how alone and stressed you were feeling.....I would've taken some time off... Maybe we'd watch a movie or something. All you had to do was ask...... And we'll get you the help you need, y/n. You good with that?" he questioned, his anger and frustration dissipating.

You saw your brother, the workaholic detective, wanting to put his job aside, for you .

You were more important to him, than his job—You realized.

" Yea... Yeah, I am"

Will stood up and got another advil with another glass of water. "and maybe you wouldn't end up drunk and cheating on your test" he smirked, crouching in front of you.

"God, I didn't think it would hurt this bad. I am never drinking again!" you smiled , as you drowned the pill.

"See now that's what I like to hear!!" Jay exclaimed, wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you into his chest. You squirmed, trying to get out of his grip, laughing, when you were joined by Will.

You know what? Maybe, things are going to be okay? Ya know?

__________________________

Read more of my fics here!!

Tagging : @girlandthemoon @herecomesthewriterwitch @megaliciab @meyocoko @alkadri-layal

#jay halstead #will halstead #chicago pd #chicago med #jay halstead x sister!reader #halstead sister #halstead sister imagine #jay halstead one shot #will halstead oneshot #halstead brothers

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buckybarnesthehotshot · 4 years

Text

v: i hate you but allie doesn’t (bucky barnes x reader)

i hate you but masterlist

summary: bucky and y/n can’t stand each other, but y/n needs help with her sister’s kids (enemies to lovers au)

word count: 1903

warnings: swearing, arguing, death, and this is not proofread

taglist is CLOSED

A/N: HOLY SHIT 730+ FOLLOWERS?!? My tumblr’s gonna surpass my personal insta and i’m honestly not mad abt it ily alll

“I can help you with that,” Bucky insisted as y/n pulled several plates from the cabinets under the counter. y/n gave him a questioning look, as though asking him why she was helping him, and he continued, “if you explain to me why you have a teenager and two kids in your apartment.”

“Touché, but it’s actually two teenagers, so ha! You were wrong about another thing,” y/n chuckled before her features softened as her gaze wandered to the closed acacia door down her hallway, “My nephew, Ethan is sulking in his room. Honestly, I can’t blame the kid,” y/n explained. With every word that spilled from her lips, Bucky found himself growing more and more curious over y/n’s current situation.

“How’d you end up with them all in your apartment?” Bucky questioned before adding a quick, “I’m not going to say no offense because that would be a lie, but you look really tired.”

“Gee, thanks. You sure know how to charm a lady,” y/n rolled her eyes, shoving the plates in Bucky’s hands.

“I was quite the ladies’ man back in my time,” Bucky winked, placing the plates on top of the place mats y/n had already set on the glass table.

“I almost forgot you were an old man,” y/n snickered, setting the silverware on the table with one hand and placing Allie in her highchair with the other arm.

“Didn’t your parents teach you to respect elders and learn to answer questions?” Bucky raised a brow, referencing his previous question.

“What question?” y/n spoke in confusion as she buckled Allie into the seat. The toddler giggled whilst slamming her palms against the plastic table. y/n made a note not to leave the bowl of baby food there.

“The one where I asked how you ended up having to take care of two kids and two teenagers,” Bucky chuckled awkwardly, watching y/n struggle to open a jar of baby food. Who knew it would take one jar of baby food to defeat one of SHIELD’s greatest agents?

Before y/n could reply, Bucky didn’t notice the kid from earlier, Jackson as he would soon learn, was seated at the table and responded for her, “Mommy’s on a trip with daddy and Livvy and Ethan are sad about it,” came his petite voice.

Bucky, knowing damn well “on a trip” was most likely a code for something he’d encountered quite a lot, gave y/n a look. She only responded with a sad smile as she poured the contents of the jar into a bowl.

“Jackson, tell Olivia and Ethan breakfast’s ready, please,” y/n requested, earning an eager nod from the boy before he jumped out his seat and rushed to his sister’s side.

Bucky approached y/n, looking for more answers regarding the kids. He knew this might have been the only opportunity he had to ask y/n without the kids—with the exception of Allie who could barely understand a thing—about what happened to the kids’ parents and what role she played in the kids’ lives.

“Please don’t tell me you killed their parents and took them in as your own. I think I saw a movie like that once. It was pretty fucked up,” Bucky chuckled but immediately stopped when he saw the way her face dropped at the mention of the kids’ parents.

“Their mom, she was my sister. I found out a few days ago she died in a car crash and the next thing I knew, the kids were being dumped on me,” y/n spoke, eager to finally explain her situation to somebody even if that somebody was Bucky, someone she clashed with more often than not.

“What about their dad? Surely, he should’ve been the one to deal with the kids,” Bucky questioned, his brows furrowing.

“I don’t know where that ass is right now or what he’s doing. That deadbeat killed my sister,” y/n growled, gripping tightly onto the marble counters. Bucky had no idea what to tell her. He’d never been in a situation where he had to comfort his teammate who not only lost their sister, but had to take custody of the kids too!

Due to Bucky’s inability to speak, and y/n having nothing else to say, they stood there in an awkward silence as y/n stacked pancakes onto the plates one-by-one and topping them with a big scoop of gelato.

Their mother used to make the best pancakes and top them off with gelato. She and Cassy got the exact recipe which really came in handy when Jackson asked for “Pancakes, please? The way mommy makes them” when y/n asked him what he wanted for breakfast.

After a few moments of silence, Ethan, Olivia, and Jackson joined them at the table, all silently pulling themselves a seat. Jackson didn’t know why, but whenever his big brother was in the room with his Auntie y/n, there was a somber mood cast upon the room as though there was a rule telling them not to utter a word.

Ethan sat at the farthest end of the table, Olivia took the seat parallel to y/n’s, while her little brother took the seat next to her. Bucky, not really knowing what to do, stood there awkwardly by the countertop before y/n motioned for him to take the seat next to him where she’d also set a plate of pancakes.

He took the seat next to her as the table fell into a state of silence while he ate away at his pancakes as y/n turned to Allie and fed her. He would never admit it to y/n, but her pancakes were beyond amazing. Never in a million years did he think to top ice cream with gelato or ice cream until that day.

“Auntie y/n, is he your husband?” Jackson was the first to break the silence as he stared curiously at Bucky.

“What makes you think that, buddy?” y/n chuckled awkwardly as Bucky kept his gaze to the plate of pancakes in front of him.

“Well, daddy always sits at the table beside mommy and he’s her—” Jackson tried to explain only to get cut off by his sister sobbing, “Livvy, you okay?”

“These pancakes taste just like mom’s! It’s the same fluffiness, same taste, and same brand of gelato for god’s sake!” she sobbed, shooting up from the table and staring down bitterly at the plate of pancakes in front of her.

“Damn it, Liv, she’s trying to replace mom, can’t you see?” Ethan snarled before turning to face y/n, “You will never be as good as mom ever was. Yes, these pancakes taste like hers, but you won’t replace her just because she’s dead and dad’s in prison!” he cried out before bolting down the hall and back to the room he was previously shutting herself in. Olivia’s features softened a little as she saw the look of hurt on y/n’s face,

“It’s okay, aunt y/n. I know you’re not trying to replace mom. He’ll come around,” Olivia tried to reassure y/n that through the sobs as she wrapped her arms around her. y/n just nodded slowly in response to the hug.

“God, I wish grandma and grandpa got custody of us instead!” Ethan’s voice boomed from the room as both Allie and Jackson began crying.

“Mommy’s dead and daddy’s going to jail?” Jackson cried, a broken expression on his face. y/n rushed to his side, wanting to lie to him and tell him Cassy was coming back, but she couldn’t. She was going to have to explain it all to Jackson some time; she just didn’t expect that time to be at 9:49 in the morning.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” y/n’s voice broke as she wrapped her arms around the crying boy. Bucky knew he couldn’t just sit there and watch the scene unfold. He knew he had to do something; anything! He hesitantly got up from his seat and moved to the highchair where the baby—Allie—was seated as he unbuckled the seatbelt keeping her on the chair as he hesitantly lifted her up with his flesh arm.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay. Your auntie y/n’s going to be here and your older siblings are going to be okay,” he whispered as he began cradling Allie against his chest. He didn’t know whether or not he was holding the baby right or if he should’ve been rocking her, but it worked. She calmed down as her cries turned to quiet babbles.

Bucky nearly panicked at how quickly she became quiet in fear that he’d knocked the toddler out. He held her out again to see if she was—well, alive. She smiled up at him, her big doe e/c eyes piercing into his baby blues. Bucky Barnes was never one to care for kids—not since he became the Winter Soldier—but this was different. A baby, who he was holding in his arm, smiled up at him as she reached for his metal arm? His heart melted at the sight.

“Otie?” she questioned him, her brows furrowing. He took a seat on the chair, not sure if he could trust himself with a baby while he stood up, before chuckling.

“I’m not your otie y/n, kid. She’s a little busy at the moment, but I’m her much better teammate, Bucky,” he smiled down at her.

“CKY!” she exclaimed excitedly, trying to jump up. He readjusted the way he carried her, seating her onto his lap while his hands—both metal and flesh—supported her weight to keep her from tipping over.

“Close enough, kid,” Bucky chuckled, “So, what’s your name?” Bucky didn’t think his morning would lead to this; witnessing y/n trying to console a kid while he talked to a one-year-old.

“Ayee!” she exclaimed, a wide smile on her face.

“Ayee?” Bucky questioned, raising a brow at her, making Allie laugh.

“A-yee,” Allie repeated slowly.

“Al-lie?” Bucky questioned, his brow still raised as Allie reached for his face, smacking her hands against his eyebrows.

“AYEE!” Allie exclaimed happily, clapping her hands to celebrate getting Bucky to correctly say her name.

“Allie, huh? Is that your name, kid?” Bucky questioned as Allie slammed her hands against his face excitedly.

“CKY!” she giggled as he continued making faces for the girl. Never in a million years did he think a baby would feel at ease with his present. He was learning new things that day, he shrugged.

“You can’t be Bucky, I’m Bucky” he chuckled as Allie found herself pulling against his beard.

“Cky!” Allie insisted.

“No, you’re Allie. I’m Bucky,” Bucky chuckled, poking at her squishy cheek.

“I Ayee, you Cky?” she repeated, a smile on her face.

“Exactly,” Bucky smiled.

“So, you’re Cky now, huh?” he turned to see y/n standing there, her nephew—whose sobbing was coming to an end—in her arms as she grinned at the sight of Bucky with her niece in his lap.

“Only because you stink at your job here too,” Bucky scoffed.

“Rude,” y/n mumbled to herself as she set Jackson down on his seat with a ‘you’re going to be okay, buddy’ as she picked Allie up from Bucky’s lap and set her back onto the highchair so she could continue feeding the toddler. As a matter of fact, Olivia’s sobbing even calmed down a bit as she downed the stack of pancakes her aunt prepared for her.

a/n: this chapter was brought to u by my gelato (my mom kinda got made because it was expensive but yknow a girls gotta treat herself) and me wanting ice cream

i hate you but taglist: @sarcastic-britt / @kmuir1 / @shower-me-with-roses / @justab-eautifulmess / @thomasthetankson / @x-abi-sharp-x / @intovert-gone-wild / @brittanymcsharry / @leaving-the-past-behind / @xoxabs88xox / @mylifeiscrazy0423 / @howliebucky / @i-cry-so-much / @witchything / @naimalove143 / @simplybarnes / @kseniiafirebrace / @buckybarnesishot310 /

Forever tags: @spatium-viatorem / @sxphiiwrld / @strangersstranger / @nerdy-bookworm-1998 / @cutie1365 / @valeriiaaass / @adorkably / @whatinthyworld /

MARVEL TAGLIST: @captainamerica-is-bae

BUCKY TAGLIST: @missmidnightxo / @tinymalscoffee / @howliebucky /

#bucky #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x teammate! reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes au #winter solider imagine #winter solider x you #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier imagine

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”

#harringrove #yikes writes #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #billy hargrove

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poisonepel · 4 years

Text

twst notes 🖋

uh so this is an unorganized/out-of-order mix of some of my thoughts abt twst so far + also things I’m just preserving bc I’m going to forget them otherwise💦 more will be added later probably!!

The nickname Grim & Yuu came up with for Malleus: Tsuno Taro (basically,, “John Horns”)

Just the fact that Deuce actually owns pink leopard print clothing??

Okay, Daijobu, Relax~!

Cater doesn’t like sweets…. Noted for our dates

Ace likes cherry pie and hamburgers

Grim → tuna, cheese omelets, grilled meat, and pudding

Deuce → omurice

Cater → lamb chops with diablo sauce

Ruggie’s averse reaction to Grim calling him “Deluxe Menchi Katsu Sandwich” bc it’s “delicious-sounding” ….. hits hard when u remember how Savanaclaw is related to that whole Circle of Life thing 😭

Is it just me or do the only really bitchy characters seem to be the background characters–

Yuu’s dialogue options are sometimes cute as shit or rlly fcking funny and uGH I love them

Words cannot describe how much I love all Ace/Deuce interactions too

Ace and Deuce only willing to help Yuu catch a truant Grim if Yuu promises to buy them food from the cafeteria (Ace wanted a chocolate croissant, Deuce wanted a caffe latte)

Deuce summoned his inner Bad Boy when those Heartslabyul bullies made him drop his egg cartons bc he thought those eggs had had chicks in them,, and started threatening them to apologize to the chicks they’d “murdered”…. then when Yuu explained nothing had died he spent like the whole time when everyone was making that marron tart having an identity crisis

When Trey explained that his secret ingredient in tarts is “oyster sauce,” and that all famous patisseries use it, I deadass spent like 5 min googling it to see if this was true 🤡 (it’s not) (he was kidding) (im dumb)

Then Riddle made his punishment tart with oyster sauce!!!!! I’m soft.

Riddle fixing Yuu’s tie for them had me feeling things 😳

Cater reassuring Yuu that he’d protect them if Jack tried to bite at them also had me feeling things 😳😳

Jack breaking into our dorm during his morning jog to make sure we wake up for the magift event??? 🙌 dreams do come true

Seriously tho Jack appeared on screen 1 time and suddenly I had plans to marry him, move out of the country, and have 38 babies

Crowley logic: hmmm several students have been getting mysteriously injured lately…. maybe I should have my singular non-magical (and therefore technically weakest) student investigate

Also Crowley logic: Students break his chandelier??? EXPELLED. But Leona takes part in a plan to KO all his potential magift rivals by sending Ruggie to go abracadabra them down the stairs, makes a deal with Azul to get some shady overpowering magic potion, has Ruggie drink said potion so he can send an entire crowd of people stampeding towards Malleus, then turns on Ruggie and almost breaks his arm, and finally gets so pissed off that he can’t be the best that he overblots ??? “I’ll just disqualify him from the tournament.” BOI—–

So what even was that black stone Grim ate?? That was the overblotted remains of Leona’s magical pen gem right?? So like does Leona not have a gem anymore?? But he must, right?? So wtf did Grim eat??

Malleus being all mysterious & edgy on his midnight walk outside the ramshackle dorm & Yuu’s internal thoughts after meeting him was like “god this place is just full of weirdos” 👏

Grim bringing Trey a get-well tuna can was rlly sweet lmao 😭💕

So, in terms of family:

Ace usually talks about his older brother and his grandma

Deuce rlly loves his mom

Cater seems to hate his older sister

Riddle has an intense kyoiku mom 🔪

Leona is iffy & jealous & resentful of his older brother, and annoyed by Cheka but I bet he’s actually soft for him

Neither of Epel’s parents could use magic, but his grandma and great-grandma were witches

Unique Magic

Riddle: Off with your Head! / 首をはねろ！

Cater: Split Card / 舞い散る手札 (Fluttering Hand of Cards)

Trey: Doodle Suit / 薔薇を塗ろう (Paint the Roses)

Leona: King’s Roar / 王者の咆哮

Ruggie: Laugh with Me /愚者の行進 (Parade of Fools)

Jack: Unleash Beast / 月夜を破る遠吠え (Moonlight-Piercing Howl)

Jade: Shock the Heart / かじりとる歯 (Gnawing Teeth)

Floyd: Bind the Heart / 巻きつく尾 (Coiling Tail)

Azul: It's A Deal / 黄金の契約書 (Golden Contract)

#rambles #twst spoilers

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italian-pastry · 3 years

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Rambling about the Family Tree

Here’s the Family Tree!

And under the cut is all my rambling about designs or whatever! (this ended up not being about designs too much. Hm)

OK WE NEED TO BE ORGANIZED HERE I’ll be going generation by generation, from left to right. Everyone will be here, just for organization sake. Of course, some people are more important than others, so be warned for long rambles (in generation 2 especially) OK LET’S GO

Generation 1: Iida Parents: Idk man. They don’t even have designs. They’re probably cool Enji: He doesn’t deserve to be drawn well :) That and he doesn’t deserve to meet his grandkids :)) Rei: She deserves to be pretty and be a cool grandma. Her grandkids adore her. Hisashi: This mans is kinda wildin’ in my universe. Whatever he’s up to, it’s not being Inko’s husband. Inko: Soft grandma!!!!! We love her and she loves her grandkids and husband. Toshinori: He deserves to retire and settle down and be happy with his family and be adored by his gandkids. Emiko’s Father: He and Yukie got married (and Yukie got pregnant with Emiko) almost right out of highschool. He expected Yukie to give up her career to care for Emiko, but that didn’t gel with Yukie, so she divorced him when Emiko was little. Idk where he is now. Yukie: We love her. I love her. She’s super sweet and super cool and super short and that’s all you need to know. She also looks a lot like Eijirou (or, at least I tried to make them look similar) Crimson Riot: I subscribe to the Dad-Crimson theory, so here we are. After Emiko started elementary school, Yukie tried to get her career back together, but after meeting and having a thing with Crimson Riot and getting pregnant with Eijirou, she gave it up to be able to care for her kids. Nadie: An American journalist who moved to Japan for work! She and Yukie met and got married when Eijirou was 9-10. She has 3 kids from her previous marriage (that ended in disaster). Christopher Skyline: (Yes, THE Christopher “Captain Celebrity” Skyline. We’re just ignoring the Vigilantes canon over here.) Nadie’s ex-husband and the father of Hanae, Etsuko, and Suzume. He was a serial cheater, and the kids was a desperate attempt made by Nadie to try to make him stick around. Sperm Donor: Just a sperm donor. Mitsuki: Still looks SUPER young. She doesn’t like it when her grandkids call her “Grandma” or anything like that because it makes her feel old. Masaru: Loves being called “Grandpa” or whatever by his grandkids. He loves them, and likes to visit them a lot. Mika: Still quiet and chill. We love her. Kyotoku: Still loud and fun. He’s a cool dude, and he got them smile lines Beru: Her head is weird. I’m sorry queen, but it freaked me out. Ganma: He freaked me out even more. He was my least favorite to draw. Sorry bro. Uraraka’s Parents: Her dad reminds me of my dad (vaguely). They don’t have names, but they’re cool. Also, Ochako was able to get them a nice house, so good for them. Shouta: Just go look at @nartothelar‘s Silver Fox AU that was my main inspiration. He a grumpy old man who only likes his kids and grandkids and family. Hizashi: Same thing as Shouto. I like to think that all of his hair has grayed, so his hair is like Platinum Blond now.

Ok! Gen 1 done, and it was mostly me rambling about Eijirou’s parents. Maybe one day I’ll dedicate a post to them.

Generation 2: Tenya: I had him grow his hair out because 1.) I thought it was cute and 2.) it represents him loosening up a lil’ after school. He wears contacts during Hero Work, but wears his glasses casually. Tensei: Literally just the same dude. He’s Tensei and he’s chill and he’s cool. Dabi: I gave him an eyebrow piercing and a fun new cut. (Fun fact: That’s his Fantasy AU fairstyle) Fuyumi: I hope her hair looks very Teacher-y and Motherly. I think she looks super cute. Natsuo: A simple dude. He finds a cut that works and sticks with it. Although I did give him sideburns and a lil’ touch of beard. Shouta: Instead of shaving his red side, he combs the white side over it. Also, I hc that in his left eye, he’s half blind. Izuku: Yikes. He got the wound early in his hero career. He went blind in his right eye, so he and Shouta together are like 1 and 1/4 blind. Emiko: Eijirou’s older half sister. I would say she’s Girlboss and Natsuo is Malewife, and I think that’s accurate - even if only a little. She’s a social service worker, and met Natsuo in college. I had an old design before, but I like this one A LOT more Eijirou: I am a simp for long hair Eijirou, so here we are. ALSO freckles!!!! I love freckley eijirou. Also stubly beard and cool new scar. He is very dad. Hanae: The chill little sister. Probably a lawyer or professor or something smart like that. Etsuko: The crazy sister. She works in the hero field! If as hero support or as an actual pro, idk yet! Suzume: The ex-crybaby sister. She’s prolly doing something fun and artsy. Also, HUGE demigirl vibes Kane: The energetic little brother! He has most certainly gone pro, since he’s like very early 20s now. Fun Fact!: He was 6 when Mieko was born, so a lot of people thought they were siblings. It only got worse when Akio rolled around. Katsuki: hehe Undercut Bakugou. Also, hearing aids! I put his eyebrow scar there so he and his hubby are matchy matchy. Actually, both of their scars are pretty matchy matchy.... huh. Also, I’m totally not saying he was invloved in the fight that gave Izuku his scar, definitely not. Mashirao: STOP SAYING HE’S PLAIN AND ORDINARY. HE’S BEAUTIFUL DAMMIT. Every time I draw him I think about how darn pretty he is and that he could be like a KPop star or smth Tooru: It’s tooru! Super fun lil’ lady. What a queen. Mina: Look at that kick-ass scar I gave her. It’s what she deserves. Although, that eye may be a lil fucked up. Ah well, at least it looks cool. Yuuga: LOOK AT HIS HAIR. I am so happy with how it turned out! He so pretty. He and Mina are DEFINATELY Girlboss and Malewife. Hado: Also a simple lady. Prolly also needed to stick to her brand of long hair. She still super pretty tho. Lowkey disappointed I didn’t give her the stereotypical Anime-Protag’s-Mom hairstyle Haya: Completely shaved her head, and got more piercings! Like, 100% more Punk Rock. Itsuka: FRECKLES FRECKLES FRECKLES. And short hair!!!!!! Sigh, I love her. Tetsutetsu: I tried to make him look like Ejirou, even if just the face structure. I like how his hair and scar turned out tho. What a lad. Mezo: What a cool dude! Got a sick nasty scar, but covers it with his hair. I think, even with a majority of his face covered, he is still very handsome Miya: She has a name now!!!!!! What an icon. She’s a Hero Costume Designer, and she has a spider mutation. Wolf Spider, specifically (I think). She is so adorable and spunky I love her. Momo: Short hair!!!!!!1!1!1!11! God, what a goddess. We love her so so so much. Also, she gets to have a cool scar, too Kyouka: While she’s in UA, she straightens her hair, but after she graduates, she doesn’t care abt it. Momo rlly likes it curly. She also has that thing going on where you shave all of ur head except for ur bangs (and the side thingies). Oh! And eyebrow piercing! Satsuki: Pretty! Also, I made sure that all the girls who would’ve been 6-7 during the current time all had ponytails now (Satsuki, Etsuko, and Eri) Samidare: He’s super cool, and I decided to give him long hair to make him cooler. Also, Demiboy vibes, anyone? Tsuyu: A queen!!!!!! I love her so much!!!!!!! When her hair is down, it reaches to her shoulder blades. Ochako: SHE LOOKS SO BADASS I AM SO HAPPY. Look at her, with those cool scars, and that cool hair! What a queen! Mirio: Classic Mirio! Tbh, idk if I’ll give Mirio his quirk back. Like a lot of the stuff in the recent arc I’ve ignored, soooo......... Tamaki: He has SO MUCH HAIR. It ridiculous. Since growing it out, he uses it to hide behind if it’s left down. So Mirio likes to do stuff with his hair and make it look cute. Nikko helps, too! Eri: A queen!!!!!!!!!! Idk if she’ll be a Pro Hero or doctor that specializes with pro heroes, but I want her to be happy and help people! Hitoshi: Hanta and Denki weaves flowers into his hair a la Rapunzel all the time. The braid is really loose and shitty a lot of the time tho. Ah well. Denki: Because I moved his black stripe to down the center of his hair, my little sister keeps calling Denki and Race Car. And I agree. He got those scars because he was able to train himself to really not fry his brain anymore, but that means if he overloads, his electricity escapes some other way, so through his ears and into his face. Hanta: That scar was very strategically places because I am a firm believe that Sero will uncannily resemble Shouta when he gets older. I hadn’t done a really good job at that tho....... hm.

Gen 2 is done!!!!!! It was my fave generation to draw UwU. I’m not sure what to say with Gen 3, since I’ve already talked about them a lot. Jeez, idk. I’ll think about something to ramble about later.

@questionableholidayreally Tozen rlly said “I am literally just vibing ;)”

#Long post #bnha #bnha fankids #bnha next gen #I still cannot get over the fact that I drew 84 faces #like #damn #If u have any questions or just wanna yell at me just slide on into those asks! I'm happy to answer!#Born And Raised #Mha Born And Raised

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furyfought · 3 years

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abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway . they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but.

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro.

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff.

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch.

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋." + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts.

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked..

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨.

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster.

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

#abernathyintro #omg arriving unfashionably late thirty yrs later. >.>#[vine vc] heeey.. . ..#nt rereading this. simply not strong enough. if there r errors then no there aren't<3

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kingneptunesthinninghead · 3 years

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How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

#surveys #survey

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sinkingwmyships · 4 years

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hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

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disaster-fruit · 4 years

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@portu-cale I had to delete the post with your ask bc it was huge and for some reason the “read more” wasnt working!

portu-cale-main asked:

“could you expand on pindorama? and maybe her relationship with brazil? i’m really intrigued by the character :o (but only if you want to ofc!!)”

alrightt, I’m gonna admit I’ve been VERY reluctant about taking about pindorama, for a few reasons, but mostly because it’s really hard to find trustworthy information that isn’t playing into the colonialist narrative that is still very present in our national identity as a whole (if you read a little abt indianismo…. That shit is still very present). And when it’s not that, is all very vague and talking about ~the natives~ as if they were just one big homogeneous group with not much of their own history.

I also don’t want to go too deep into to anything too dark or “angsty”, not to ignore those ugly parts of our history, but because I feel it would be very disrespectful to make those tragedies (which are still being carried out by our government) the center of any hetalia discussion. And well, I might fuck up and end up playing into everything I’m trying to avoid, and if this is in anyway offensive, just let me know and I’ll delete this post and go further educate myself.

This is also gonna be an even longer post than usual (its 3 pages long...), since it’s gonna need a lot of historical explanation even for my fellow Brazilians.

My main source here is chapter 6 of the book “1499: O Brasil Antes de Cabral”, by Reinaldo José Lopes.

Ok, let’s talk about the lady.

First things first, she old. She’s at least 3000 years old, probably older! She grew up in southwest Amazon (around modern Rondônia) with her nine siblings, and while some of them remained there, others started to expand their territories through the forest. All of them also had plenty of children. The way I see it, since there was no sort of political unity between the different tupi tribes, each had their own tan and were the children of ones like Pindorama and her siblings, that represented many different groups that, though politically separated, had strong cultural and linguistic similarities. It’s kinda like I see Mama Greece existing while Sparta, Athens and all those Ancient Greek cities existed too, but in a much larger scale. So Pindorama represents what would eventually be all the tupi and tupi-guarani groups in the coast, and of Pindorama’s children, most of them were also Guarani’s kids.

Pindorama and Guarani expanded to the southeast and the east coast together, always hating each other and fighting but also constantly having children together lol. Sisters? Enemy-lovers? Bitter exes? Frenemies with benefits? All of the above? I don’t know, but these two ladies had children pretty much all around the territory (what I’m referring to here is all the different Tupi-Guarani groups), and if you ask me, they otp.

Pindorama is, first and foremost, a warrior. The tupi were, in general, very belligerent groups, that had war as a major part of their culture, and that was in part what made them expand through such a wide territory even without any kind of centralized state or hierarchy. And they had a very different view of war compared the Europeans – war was not meant to completely eliminate their enemies or as means to access land and resources, but as part of a perpetual cycle of revenge that ennobled ones that participated in it - it was cultural more than material. So Pindorama was just constantly watching her children fight each other and she was like…. Good for Them. She was also constantly fighting someone (usually Guarani lol) and was really, really good at it.

Despite that, she was also inclined to trading and had a lot of good commercial relationships with many others, going as far west as the Andes! She was both a warrior and a businesswoman, so yeah, terrifying. She was a skilled river navigator – not as much as the Aruak, but still pretty good – which also helped both with the expansion and with trade. She’s an extrovert, who can talk in front of a lot of people easily and captivate whoever she met, while also scaring the shit out of them.

So yeah, that’s Pindorama. A warrior, a businesswoman, a mother, a rival-lover, she really did have it all. And when Portugal arrived, she at first assumed he was just another one to trade with – and that was it, for the first few decades. And when Brazil ~appeared~ there (in whatever way nations are born idk), she took him as another one of her many children, no really a surprise here either.

For some time, she raised Brazil, but she soon understood that kid was not like the others. First, he was not just her child or her child with Guarani, but apparently also the child of that dude that would come every once in a while from the sea (again I don’t know how nations know who are their parents or other’s parents since there’s really no biological birth going on…). And as time went by, she also started noticed more and more of her other children dying more and more every time, while Brazil kept growing stronger and healthier every day. She put two and two together – that child and his father were trouble, and not the good kind.

When it comes to her relationship with Brazil, it is complicated, to say the least. She was more present in his childhood that Portugal, she taught him her languages and stories and how to survive in that land, but she also never trusted him, and was hesitant to be around him. As the years passed, she learned it was safer for her and her other children (who are not really Brazil’s siblings btw) to just keep going deep into the forest and avoiding Brazil and Portugal whenever they could, but always fighting back when needed. When it came to the battles, she actually had advantages compared to Portugal at times – gunpowder in the 16th century was pretty shitty, while for example the tupinamba had arrows as long as 1.60m that could pierce through their armor. But fighting meant exposing the people to getting sick, and the moment they realized that, they started avoiding it more. Still, I think its plausible to say she probably tried to kill brazil and Portugal a few times.

As much as I like to joke about brazil having mommy issues, I really don’t want to blame her for being “a bad mom” when she really was just doing what she had to do to survive and resist and to protect her real family against an enemy she couldn’t defeat. Also, Brazil has a great deal of blame here. When he was a kid, it really was just Portugal who pushed Pindorama away and against him, but after independence he really failed to fix things when he had the power to. As I talked about in the last post a little bit, he tried to get close to her again, but not because he wanted to make things right, not because he was ready to listen to her and respect her, but because he wanted an identity for himself that was separated from port, and though he could find it in his mother. But he wasn’t listening to her for a moment or seeing her for who she was, he wasn’t trying to get to know her, it was all about himself (as it always was in the empire).

I think Pindorama, better than anyone, can see how Brazil and Portugal are similar in their worst traits, and she can also see through every single one of brazil’s warm smile in a way no one else really can. Not for a moment his talk of reconnecting with her fooled her. Needless to say his attempt to get close to her, completely misguided and selfish, didn’t made things any better between them.

To this day, there’s a lot of bitterness between the two. Pindorama (fairly) resents brazil for all that he and his father caused and his failing to recognize his own flaws and mistakes and works on them. Today, they still mostly avoid each other. They do have their tender moments, sometimes, but Brazil has a lot of growing up as a person to do if he ever wants to fix their relationship.

Well… this is very long. I apologize if I said anything offensive or played into any harmful stereotypes, and if I did, please let me know.

#hcs #ask #as much as i like my brazil angst and all that.... when it comes to pindorama i kinda just want to talk about the 2500 #years before that were she was just being a awesome warrior lady with her enemy girlfriend taking over the continent with their 40 children #is that too much to ask???

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judesaves · 4 years

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it’s the middle of the night, but i’ll just plop down and say hello anyways! this here is my star-of-his-high-school-hockey-team-but-not-his-ahl-team, formally big fish in a huge ass pond, still-kinda-under-the-oppressive-influence-of-his-evangelical-dad hockey playing Good Boi Jude.

judah ‘jude’ ames (casey cott) who works as a cashier at the armory. he’s from thunder bay, ontario and lives in east vale. they’re ardent and optimistic but can also be vacuous and prudish. sometimes, they’re known as the sanctimonious.

my bio is super long so i apologize in advance, but here’s all you need to know abt judie the prudie!

full name / nicknames: Judah Seth Ames / Jude, Judie, J, the Bae From Thunder Bay age / date of birth: 27 / July 30th, 1992 place of birth: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada previous residences / current residence: Sarnia, Ontario, Canada; Kitchener, Ontario, Canada; London, Ontario, Canada; Hershey, Pennsylvania; Chicago, Illinois; Des Moines, Iowa / Kingscrest, Colorado citizenship / ethnicity: Canadian (on a sports visa) / White (English, Danish, Dutch, German) religion: Lutheran socioeconomic status / political affiliation: Upper Class / Unaffiliated, but liberal leaning martial status: Single sexual & romantic orientation: heterosexual, hetero-romantic (he’s not questioned it, at the very least) education / occupation: high school graduate / cashier at The Armory

former teams / current team: Hershey Bears, Chicago Wolves, Iowa Wild / Kingscrest Knights position / shoots: Center / Right jersey number: #41 NHL draft: 79th overall, Washington Capitals professional playing career: 2010 – 2018

parents: Teresa Ames (mother), David Ames (father) siblings: Jared Ames (older brother by two years), Jacob Ames (younger brother by eleven years), Julianne Ames (younger sister by eleven years) offspring: none pets: family dog named Gretsky (German Shepherd), though he’s back in Thunder Bay

faceclaim: Casey Cott hair color / eye color: brown / pale green height / build: 5′11″ / athletic, muscular tattoos / piercings: none / none distinguishable features / scars: big lips, strong jawline / various bodily scars from hockey injuries over his lifetime dexterity: right handed known allergies: none visual impairment / hearing impairment: none / none nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use: no / no / socially

traits: confident, brawny, optimistic, playful, prudish, vacuous, arrogant, disapproving temperament: choleric alignment: lawful good enneagram: type one, the reformer mbti: ESTJ hogwarts house: gryffindor vice / virtue: pride / chastity likes / dislikes: hockey, the feeling of skates gliding on smooth ice, exercising, sleeping, cheesecake, snow, comedies, rules / montreal canadiens, partying, breaking his diet, the fear of never making it to the nhl, broccoli, phone calls from his father, westerns, soccer favorite media: to kill a mockingbird by harper lee (book), planes, trains, and automobiles (film), bob’s burgers (television show), tell her about it by billy joel (song) favorite color: blue

hockey has been a part of judah’s life for longer than he can remember. his first memories include the freezing solidness of the ice, the snug feeling of skates on his feet, the weight of a helmet upon his head. jude grew up believing he was born to play hockey, and really, he wasn’t wrong. a complete natural, despite hating it the first time his parents put him on the ice. a tantrum ensued, even though jared, his older brother and jude’s personal childhood hero, promised him it wasn’t scary and he was safe; he wanted to do everything jared did, but he wasn’t ready yet.

hockey wasn’t the only thing he was scared of. his father, david, taught his sons about hell before they were old enough to understand the concept. he taught them about sins. how fornication would damn you, how adultery would greet you with the devil, how doing anything wrong would leave you burning in hell forever. the list of things that were wrong to do, however, got longer and longer as his children grew, until doing anything but praying or playing a sport would condemn his soul. jude never heard his father say it, but he felt he was doing something wrong, something sinful when he cried and plopped down on the ice that day, begging for his brother to pick him up and bring him off the slippery ice.

his soul was saved after he turned five, when he got tired of watching jared play and wanted to join his older brother in the rink. the second time he laced up a pair of skates, at the tender age of five, jude fell in love. he finally fulfilled his purpose, or rather realized it. still so young, the local mini mite league not much more than toddlers standing around on the ice as the coaches uselessly tried to direct them on wobbly skates, little jude became fascinated with the sport. watching it constantly on the television, attending all of his older brother’s games, wearing all the leafs apparel his parents bought for him. their summers spent on roller blades playing with a toy goal set in the driveway, their winters spent freezing in the stands or skating on razor sharp blades.

as the minor leagues started raising up with age, so did the level of skills needed to play, and jude quickly proved to be a natural. the way he glided effortlessly, the way he turned on the hairpin edge of blades with ease, the way he listened and adhered to direction like a loyal solider. judah had memorized the rule book from front to back by the time he was nine, could spout off any definition or recall the minutiae details of a rule his own coaches had mostly forgotten, to the point of annoyance for his teammates and coaching staff. anyone could see that jude was going places, they could tell jude was going to make it.

but he wasn’t going to go as far as jared. jude paled in comparison to his older brother. for every rule he could recite like a sermon or puck he could hit squarely into the net, jared was faster, harder, stronger, better. he lived in jared’s shadow and what a well-lived in shadow it was. it didn’t matter how good jude was when jared was there, it didn’t matter if jude was a good player when jared was great… for a time.

the ames family added two more children, a pair of twins. jacob and julianne came into the world when jude and jared were eleven and fourteen respectively. even with two new babies in the house, the two older ames brothers were never distracted from their shared sport. their mother the focus of the childrearing, their father focused on rearing his two sons into hockey prodigies. loyal servants to the church of god and gretzky, the ames boys were good, they were righteous, they were perfect. perfect, how that word seemed to follow them. perfect, that was the ultimate praise from their father, when they followed the letter of jesus or their coaches. the fear of disappointing their father was the fear of going to hell. they had to be the best, they had to be perfect, they had to be righteous if they were going to make it.

the foundation of their perfect little family started to crack once jude was headed into peewee. the pressure from their father a fixture that had known for their entire lives, the pressure that kept them perfect, jared finally bent underneath that weight. his playing, while always more fast-paced and fierce than jude’s, got sloppier and less dignified. his hits were less than clean, his gloves dropped more than they didn’t, his pucks still landed in the goals but their passes to get there were dangerous. if that didn’t piss off their father enough, jared would stay out later, would go to parties on school nights, would refuse to go to church. i’m the bad one now, judie, so you don’t have to be, jared whispered to him once on a drive back from practice but jude didn’t understand what his brother meant.

jude was never in danger of being the bad one. the meek one, yes, the quiet one or the shy one, but he was never bad. his behavior, his playing, it was barely less than perfect. as jared’s star started to diminish (in their father’s eyes, at least, since jared only got more popular at school the more he partied), focus started to turn on jude. david’s focus, namely. david started taking jude out for hot chocolate after practices, ice cream parlors after winning a game. david wouldn’t let jude end up like jared, he wouldn’t let jude go down the same road of sin his older brother walked down. jared was still a good player, yes, or rather he still played well, but he wasn’t perfect anymore. jared was getting worse, jude was only getting better.

even if jared proclaimed that he was willingly taking the heat off of jude, a rift started to grow between the two. people were starting to praise jude more, talk about him more, talk about how good he was getting. the shadow that jude lived in was starting to shift, others were starting to notice him. judah ames, just a boy of fourteen, was the one the parents of his teammates would point out, the one they’d beg their children to hang out with in case his discipline and skill would rub off on them. his thoughts were only occupied with hockey, every dream he had was just reliving old games or planning for future ones. everything related to it, no matter if he was looking for a connection or not. hockey was the only personality he had.

who could blame him, though? with the way his father yelled from the stands, often yelling louder than the coach. with the way his father dropped him off promptly before practice began and picked up him not a second after it ended. as the reins on jared were forcibly loosened, the reins tightened on jude and david promised himself and god that he’d never let judah seth ames go. they moved across ontario with every minor team jared or judah joined, though they always considered thunder bay to be their home. as jude became more disciplined, more refined in his playing, jared got worse, got messier, to the point that he was considered the goon of their team. the two ames boys, once both considered perfect, once identified by the order of their birth, were now classified by good or bad, clean or dirty, pure or sinful.

seventeen, the year in every hockey player’s life that things start to change. the nhl just a dream for them, it becomes more realized as the draft starts to tick down and loom over them. jared, playing badly and antics getting more dramatic as their father focused more on jude, felt his dream slipping from him fast. the scouts eyes, once glued to him at every game they attended, drifted to his little brother now. not even old enough to drink, jared ames was quickly becoming a has-been, before he ever really was something. the boy everyone thought was going to make it didn’t even make it to the draft. jared ames quit playing hockey at the age of nineteen.

judah wouldn’t end up like that, though. david ames promised that to his son and any other parent in the stands that still bothered to listen to his ramblings. judah ames was going to make it. he was perfection, on the ice and off it. most boys, even boys on the same team, were interested in girls, lots even had girlfriends. jude was interested, but he wasn’t allowed to be. boys like that were sinful, they were wrong, they were bad. jude wasn’t allowed a girlfriend, wasn’t even really allowed a friend. everything in his life revolved around hockey, even church as david led prayers for victory before every game. there wasn’t time to think about girls, to think about anything else. even studying was secondary, his grades were only required to be strong enough to let him play every game; the only part of his life that didn’t require perfection.

while jared struggled underneath the pressure, jude endured it, even flourished underneath it. an amazing player, not just in the way he shot and hit and skated, but in his attention to detail and rules. some even said he’d be the next sidney crosby, but jude wouldn’t let himself get intimidated by the comparison. he was good, but he wasn’t that good. he wasn’t perfect, not yet. the comparison he hated was the one to his brother, the older boys on the team that had played with jared before his retirement called jude ‘the replacement’. he hated that word, replacement, even more than the word perfect. his father didn’t help, telling him how he’s so much better than jared ever was, how jude was going to be the one to make it all the way to the top, like it was guaranteed.

the time for jude’s draft started nearing quickly as he entered his senior year of high school. the pressure from his father and his coaches got heavier as the date neared, even his brother (now living in an apartment back in thunder bay) contributing to the worry and excitement. always a dream of his, to make it to the majors, jude finally felt the cracking his brother before him felt. calm and collected on the ice, jude only felt anxiety when he left it every night. his dreams, usually filled with scenes of play, now only showed him a future where he’d end up exactly like jared. he had to make it to the nhl, he needed to make it there, he needed to be good, he needed to be perfect.

the draft finally only days away, jude worked tirelessly in the rink to keep his mind off of it. what if he didn’t get picked? what if he ended up like jared, not even making it to the draft? what if he hated the team he got picked for? oh god, what if he was drafted to montreal! his worries not helped by his father that only ever wanted to talk about the draft, jude spent those last few days wishing he never laced up his skates again that one winter day when he was five.

the draft came in a bubble of excitement and fear. finally the one thing he’d been waiting for his whole life was here. feeling like his stomach was going to cave in on itself, he nearly missed it when his name was finally called. the hershey bears, the ahl affliate of the washington capitals. not exactly what he wanted, preferring something in canada, but not too far from home and not too warm. in the end, jude was just excited to play the sport he loves. he was excited to make it to the draft, unlike his older brother. he was excited to be one step closer to the nhl. most of all, he was excited to be away from his father.

the excitement didn’t last long, however. well, it didn’t last forever. traded from the bears after a year, jude ended up being traded to the chicago wolves at the age of twenty two, settling in for most of his career in the minors. he was still a great player, but the professional leagues are all filled with great players, and he was already beginning to feel like an adult among children when his new teammates after every draft seemed to be getting younger and younger. by the time he was twenty five, jude knew he would likely never make it to the nhl, but he refused to acknowledge it. his father half-held belief in his son, and half-berated him for not yet making his nhl debut; every time they needed a spot filled for a game or two, they called someone else up, and jude had to explain to his father why exactly he wasn’t the best on his team, why the coaches didn’t notice him like they should’ve. the love of the game only carried him so far, and the yearning to be on a major professional team slowly turned to bitter regret. he couldn’t wonder why the ahl wasn’t enough for his father, why it’s not perfect, when he’s convinced of the same.

jude knew that if he wasn’t going to make it by now, he’d never make it to the nhl. traded after a few good years with the wolves, jude moved to iowa and played with the wild for only a season before he decided it was time to retire professionally. he was a star that had diminished, he was just another good player on an okay team, and soon he wouldn’t even be remembered by anyone. deciding not to renew his one year contract with the wild, jude went back to thunder bay, and quickly regretted moving back in with his parents on two fronts: he missed hockey, and he did not miss his father’s rants.

while his father’s influence lessened from distance and time apart, it was back in full force once he was under their roof again. while he was no longer concerned about staying pure and righteous (partying with hockey players barely out of their teens tends to do that), the thoughts that he was wrong, dirty, sinful started to creep back in. he was not just dirty from the sin of the outside world, he was dirty, stained, a failure. jude was not perfect, never was. just another failure, like his brother jared before him, it was a different sensation to be jealous when he was moping on the couch and watching as his younger brother jacob gathered his equipment in his bag and their father lectured jake about his sloppy skating last practice. he has never missed the pressure from his father before, and he can only hope that jake doesn’t crack underneath the weight now that their father’s hopes and dreams are on him.

after six months of tolerating his father and drifting aimlessly, missing his sport and hating it at the same time, he began to wonder if it was too late to sign that contract with the wild again. he called his own coaches when he knew his father was at his brother’s practices, begged to be signed again, but they told him what they already knew: he was twenty six years old, practically geriatric. there likely wouldn’t be a professional team to sign him, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t still play his beloved (and loathed) sport, and maybe keep a bit of hope alive in his heart that he might, one day, still make it. everyone in the hockey community knows about kingscrest, colorado. it practically generated out ice sports stars as quickly as thunder bay did, and if there was any way he could possibly be scouted for one more final time, it was there. barely letting his parents in on his plan, lest they try to talk him out of it (or worse, support with oppressive enthusiasm), jude made his way to colorado, where he’s been for a year now.

joining the knights, jude’s a mature player, and any hopes of being noticed or signed to any sort of professional team (god, how much he hated being in the minors, only to be begging christ to let him back on any team, even laval rocket) are kept secret and close to his heart. as far as his teammates know, he’s just an old guy enjoying the ice, reliving his glory days and being a stickler for the rules just as he did in peewee. the desire for perfection is something that he still feels, even if he tries everything in his power to avoid his father’s calls—lest he have to hear his father’s thoughts on the political landscape of america, despite being canadian, but jude already knows he’s not perfect. he knows that this is the end of the line, so he should milk it for everything it’s worth, but the thought of the future is even scarier. once he’s too old to play, his many injuries over the years finally catching up with his body, what else is there to do? once hockey’s gone, what will jude have left?

he’s not perfect, he’s not righteous, he’s not the next gretzky or crosby. but he did make it, even if it was not the nhl. he made it farther than his father or his older brother ever did. he’s free from his father, living by himself and by his own rules, playing the game he’s loved for twenty two years. shouldn’t that be good enough for him? shouldn’t that be perfect?

like every hockey player ever, hockey’s all he talks about. all he thinks about, really. like... constantly. i mean constantly. he really doesn’t have much of a personality outside of it, but it’s not really his fault bc he was taught to be like that by his father.

speaking of his dad. phew. major dad issues for this kid. the voice in his head is his father’s, not his own. has a lot of weird shame about the most random things, and some not-so-random things.

isn’t a virgin, but he acts like one, because he doesn’t want to seem dirty and #sinful, but he’s also just weird and awkward around women... and guys too. just everyone.

sweet but angsty. has a lot of regrets, but doesn’t like to talk about it much. hates being one of the older guys on the team, but he put himself there, and it’s like either be old af or not be on the team at all. doesn’t want to end up like his brother that quit just to sell cars back in the bay.

not actively religious, but still seems like a conservative good ol’ boy because he wears sweaters tucked in WITH a belt. not as innocent as he seems, but still pretty innocent and a little weird. wasn’t homeschooled but kinda seems like he was?

an encyclopedia of hockey rules and super annoying about it. will tattletale on you to the refs if he sees you Being Naughty on the ice, no matter what team you’re on. he’s good to have around if you wanna get an opposing player into the penalty box because if you alert him to it, he’ll go snitch immediately. love my goody two shoes!!

a sales associate at the armory, like half of the team. thinks it may make him look better to the coaches, but also just needs a job. his dad will only pay half, that’s right HALF!!, of his rent so jude works to catch up with that and have very little money on the side. whatever, he still gets to skate, so he should be happy. right? right?!

somewhat dumb, just because he was never encouraged to be smart by his father, just an obedient follower and an obsessive hockey player. can do simple math, but ask him about algebra and he’ll just get annoyed and walk away.

wanted connections:

fellow teammates: jude plays for the knights, so gimme good friends and better enemies! people he’s competitive with, people he helps/mentors, people he straight up can’t stand or people that can’t stand him.

figure skating friends (and enemies): jude has never been the figure skating type, but he thinks its pretty cool that they can do spins and stuff. he respects the artistry, but still feels a sort of competitiveness with them just from the nature of being two ice sports. so give me friends that he can cheer on, enemies he can roll his eyes at, etc!

just friends in general: he’s a pretty sad boi and very earnest, so he needs someone to chat with! either it can be superficial or maybe they’re close confidants, up to you. :)

roommates: jude rents an apartment in east vale, and while he’s used to being such a canadian WASP, he’s somewhat cut off financially from his parents and needs someone around to help pay the bills. plus he gets lonely at night! can’t sleep in an empty house!!

ex-girlfriend(s): jude’s only been in town for a year and a few months, but that’s enough time to date around. likely this relationship didn’t work out because jude has a lot of hangups about relationships and shame, and his body/sex in general, but there are probably other factors such as that he’s really obsessive about hockey and actually really, really bitter deep down. 22+

#fro: intro #hold your horses honey. i’ve got coupons for the pringles. ( ooc. )#i didn't proofread this bc it's almost 4 am and i've been working on this for three hours lol #so i apologize for any typos!!

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years

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Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken.

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl.

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't.

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph!

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

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pirotehnist · 5 years

Text

Farmer's Market- Chapter 6!

(Ok so first of all tw for: needles, mentions of death, body horror but not too much, sedation, violence, uuh what was left,,, idk this dude scrathes his hands?? Bc hes in pain? And i also talk abt his veins? Dunno pals just,, heads up)

The following morning the weather seemed to change drastically. The sky had gone grey and the wind was blowing, and it certainly wasn't helping that Monday and Toby have been keeping their window open since 5 AM.

-Doesn't this city make you sad? Monday asked out of the blue.

-I don't… understand you. ‘Not only now. Most of the time.’ thought Toby.

-I mean, do you realise it's a graveyard? We're a graveyard and a freak show altogether.

Toby stayed silent.

-I died, you did so too, and the Lady, and Marlene, and the people I passed on the street. We're dead. And Mr. Griffin's invisible and Salvador keeps his own head in a jar.

-Would you rather he keep someone else's? Toby couldn't stop himself. It seemed that whenever Monday was in a mood he was in… the opposite one.

-It wouldn't make a difference to me, she shrugged. Who knows what kind of freaks lurk in the shadows of this town.

Monday got up and streched once again. She was a little bit taller than Toby. Outside of their room they could hear voices talking, but couldn't make out what was being discussed.

They had their schdule planned out for the day. Almost everyone wanted to go to the library. Except for Pica and Maisie, who were out for a stroll in the city. And, well, Salvador, who only got out of his room to go to the kitchen, put an empty bottle next to the trash can and get a bottle of water. With bags under his eyes big enough to store the contents of a small supermarket, he just shook his head at the possibility of joining the others.

-We gotta keep an eye on him today. Make sure he eats at least once and doesn't touch another drop of liquor, sighed the Lady.

As the weather worsened she had to borrow some warmer clothes, and unfortunately Salvador was the only one whose clothes fit on her. ‘Well, you can't be 6'3 in a house of 5'7s and not expect any throwbacks’ she thought.

She couldn't just waltz right in and take a sweater from his closet, as Griffin usually suggested, so she made her request as short as possible. Salvador didn't mind.

The only other one who needed something warmer was Toby, but he had more luck. A raincoat was simply borrowed from Griffin and he was done.

Speaking of Griffin, he had his head pressed against the coffee table, as he had been having a terrible headache. He managed to bury himself into a sweater that looked like it belonged to someone at least a foot taller, which was because it did. It hung weirdly on him, considering the fact that he had no discernable form once again.

-Griffin, sweetie, remarked the Lady, maybe you should get visible again. You scared the librarian real bad last time, remember?

The other got up, mumbling something about being dizzy. He seemed wobbly, and the Lady tried to help him as he went up the stairs, but he shook his head. For a minute or so the others stood in silence, unsure of wether or not they should speak. And then it happened. The lights were on, the TV was on, and then they started flickering. The wind was roaring, the house felt like it might collapse. And as a horrible, painful shriek was heard from upstairs, the Lady shot up and rushed up the stairs, with the others following.

Griffin's room. And in the doorway stood Salvador, calmly inspecting the scene.

The room was immaculate, electrical machinery and chemicals arranged on the desk. And on the floor, in the middle of it all, Griffin.

The shriek had turned into a choked sob. He was oscillating between visible and invisible, shaking from head to toe. The room reeked of rubbing alcohol. His veins were clearly visible, and it was a horrendous sight.

-I am going to die! he spat out, sobbing. Something's wrong, wrong, again!

He was clawing at the top of his own hands, so hard he drew blood. He pressed his forehead against the rug and seemed to throw up a bit.

Salvador dug frantically through his drawers, and unwrapped a syringe. He took out a small vial, containing a liquid. He pierced the top and drew from it.

Griffin looked up with wide, red eyes and seemed perhaps a bit soothed when he saw it.

-Where do I inject it? Salvador calmly asked him as he lowered to his eye level.

-Is this, the Meda, you- you know, Mezadol?

‘Midazolam’ whispered the Lady, elbowing Toby. No one made a sound.

Griffin shakily extended a pale, bony wrist. It was… almost transparent. You could clearly see veins and bones, but that was about it.

Salvador seemed oddly calm about the situation. He counted the seconds between each doze, and it must've taken about 2 minutes. Griffin seemed to calm down, and stopped shaking. In the meantime, he made Griffin drink from another bottle, which had a light blue tint.

-Thank you, he whispered softly.

Salvador picked him up and laid him on his bed. His face was ghastly white, and some parts of him were still invisible to different degrees.

Lady Alligator was the first to break the silence.

-What in the world just happened?

-I'll get back to that in a minute, Salvador barely managed to answer before he quickly made his way to the nearest sink, in the bathroom down the hall, and threw up. Perhaps he wasn't as calm as he seemed.

He practically collapsed on the nearest chair as soon as he came back, and let out a sigh. Griffin was already unconscious by now.

He then got a small pack of bandages and bandaids, applied a disinfectant and started patching up the other's hands.

-This happened before, he sighed. Only once. He walked me through the process. This thing does something to his blood. If I was too slow he could've died before I even got to him. His heart would've stopped and… that was it.

He took Griffin's hand and looked closely at the blue veins that seemed to be floating above his hand.

-The chemicals I gave him, with the blue tint, are there to somehow fixate him. They keep him in his current state. Although, he was fully visible when it last happened.

-It must've been because of how the power kept going on and off earlier, stated Adalana. I remember him telling me once about something to do with electricity, I don-

-Hold on! Spoke up Salvador. He. Told you? he squinted. I've known him for years and he spoke about it only once. You've known him for about a day.

The Lady's expression could only be described as ‘I shouldn't have said that.’

-Adalana, he pressed on. How long have you known him for?

-He… worked with me for a bit, she shrugged.

-How long?

-Aaaaabout a year? she grimaced. But you can't blame me! You know I keep my work private. He's a damn good physicist and was useful in some cases.

-‘‘Can't blame’’ you? I can! he shouted. He's my best friend. You're my best friend too, he groaned. And, you two? The hell!

-It was work! Why are you so worried? she mused. You're way too protective with him, let the man have a life! The worst that can happen is for him to get hypothermia, AGAIN! Adalana rolled her eyes. And you already know how to handle that one.

God those poor souls in the doorway, who felt like they were watching their parents argue with no idea why.

-Let's just… leave mom, dad and our unconscious weird uncle to themselves, sighed Marlene. Come on, let's go downstairs. I want coffee and don't know how to make it.

A few minutes later, down came the Lady.

-What 'appened? asked Toby.

-Well, one thing's for sure. He sure ain't coming with us. He almost collapsed while talking, so I tried to take him to his room. But nooo! Our dear Griffin might wake up disoriented and panic! So long story short I moved in an armchair from whichever room was closer and he's trying to sleep in that one.

-And? piped up Pygmalion. We're still going to the library or not?

-As soon as we're all ready.

Which they were, so all 5 people managed to fit into the Lady's car, with Monday having shotgun privileges. Mainly because she was quiet.

Salvador was woken up by the sound of the doorbell, and the very weak shake of a hand on his shoulder.

Griffin still felt a bit confused when he woke up. And dizzy. He looked down at his hands. Patches ranging in visibility. They looked quite sickening to him. And on an armchair next to his bed, Salvador. His head was still exposed, he had been way too busy to even remember putting it back in its jar. Was he upset by him? He surely hoped not. Oh, that would hurt quite a bit.

And then came the horrid sound of the doorbell, echoing through the house. It almost pained Griffin, who was still adjusting to lights and sounds. Without thinking, he reached forward and lightly shook Salvador by the arm. Even sitting up still seemed quite an effort to him.

-Vince, he whispered.

He wondered if it came out wrong. It seemed too friendly for their situation. Still, ‘‘Salvador’’ seemed too cold.

-Vincent, he repeated. The door. Wake up.

The other opened his eyes and stared at him intently. They made an interesting contrast with eachother. Red eyes and green ones, white and black hair-

But that's not what matters right now.

-How do you feel? asked Salvador.

-I'm ok. Not in pain anymore, so that's better.

-You've gotten careless with your transformation, Jack. This is serious. And one day it could kill you.

That also seemed an interesting choice of names to Griffin. Yes, Salvador had quite a variety of names to choose from for him. ‘‘Jackson Claude Griffin’’ he remembered Salvador repeating after him when they first met. First and last time he heard him say it. Salvador prefered something shorter. ‘‘Griffs’’, in public mostly. ‘‘Jack’’ was… it felt weird. It was for the serious moments. Aaaand he was overthinking things again.

But even if he wasn't, he still wouldn't have an answer to give to him.

Salvador got up, and went to answer the door.

-Don't get up, he ordered.

He walked across the yard. The air was pleasantly cool, and it felt quite nice. For the first few seconds, because afterwards it just felt cold.

He opened the small gate. But instead of a familiar face, there were-

Two masked shapes. Shit. The blow of a bat, and Slavador was out cold. Laughter.

-Let's drag 'im into the house, hissed the taller one. Rabbit mask, feminine voice.

-And if he's not alone? asked the one with the cat mask.

-Nothing violence or chloroform won't solve.

These two were clearly either careless or incompetent. Might have had something in the system. Two masked criminals, in broad daylight, who… rang the doorbell.

The first thing Griffin heard were loud voices, which were normal for the area. Might have been hooligans knocking something over. He was almost right. Poor guy only understood what was going on when it was too late.

Just as he went down the stairs and rested on the couch for a moment, Rabbit slammed the door behind her as Cat dragged Slavador into the room.

-Don't try something funny, she warned him. Know you're just an inconvenience for us.

Rabbit was headed for the kitchen, and lazily hummed a song as she worked on… something

Cat propped Salvador up on the couch. ‘Here's my chance’ thought Griffin. He had to do something. He tried to grab the feeble butter knife rested on the coffee table. Better than nothing. But before he could even get up-

A hand grabbed Griffin by the collar. The tip of something sharp and cold was rested on his back.

-Sit down.

Atta boy. Rabbit's back.

His mouth was covered by a damp rag

-Breathe in this. It'll be enough for us to have a talk with your friend right there, who's been napping for- she checked her watch -3 minutes. Musta' been a mean punch, you wouldn't want the same to happen to you.

‘Chloroform,’ thought Griffin as he finally remembered the name of the substance. ‘Oh for God's sa-’

#farmers market #chapter 6 #excerpts from my writing #my writing #writers #writer #writing #written #writblr #excerpt from a story i'll never write #excerpt from a book i'll never write #ocs

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