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roosterforme · 7 months

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The Younger Kind Part 32 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is used to feeling comfortable around you, so when he arrives home and things feel strained, he wants to understand why. The more you tell him about what has you so upset, the more he wants to try to fix everything. But you don't know if he can do anything to mend your confidence.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 5600 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Nat called and texted the next day to check in with you and Noah. It didn't matter how many times you lied and told her that you were just fine, she said she wanted to be sure. But you knew you were barely holding on, and the next two days without Bradley were going to be really hard.

Because now it wasn't just the USB drive. It was also your hand. And the broken glass. And the way Noah cried. You were currently curled up in Bradley's bed with Noah sound asleep in your arms, and you didn't even want to go to work tomorrow. Your hand was aching, and the gash looked terrible. Even though you had done your best with it, you knew you should have gone for stitches. But you also knew it was too late for that now.

After a moment of contemplation, you decided to keep Noah in bed with you for the night. You opened up your email one more time with the arrival instructions from Bradley even though you had them memorized. But you didn't want to mess this up.

When you got to work the next morning, while you were still trying to decide if you should report the break in, another layer of embarrassment was added. Dr. Kelly pulled you aside and glanced down at your hand as she said, "Would you like me to take a look at that?"

You'd done a pretty terrible job of bandaging it up on your own. "Sure," you said softly, and she unwrapped it and winced.

"This didn't happen at work, did it?"

"No," you replied quickly. "At home."

She met your eyes with startled ones. "This is a nasty, irregular cut. You live with your boyfriend, correct?" When you nodded, she added, "If there's any sort of issue with... violence at home, please know that you can always come to me."

Your jaw dropped open, and you gasped. "No! He's not even here, he's deployed! It was an accident!"

"Okay," she said right away. "I believe you. Let me get it cleaned up. It's looking angry, and you should have probably gone somewhere for stitches over the weekend."

Instead of responding, you silently followed her to one of the exam rooms where she carefully disinfected your palm and applied an adhesive that would work on your skin. "I can reapply it later this week for you."

"Thanks." As you got back to work, you were starting to think you should have reported the incident with the police. Panic rose inside you as you were instructed to prepare some vaccination syringes for the ten year old in exam room five.

Should you wait until Bradley got home on Wednesday? Should you call the police after work today? Your cut up hand was bad enough, but Noah could have been the one who got hurt. And you'd honestly never be able to forgive yourself if something happened to him. You had protected him from Meredith in the park, so why was this any different?

You rushed back to Bradley's house after work and ran inside, completely exasperated by his old man tendencies. You had to search for the list of phone numbers he gave you which would have been much better if he just saved them to your contacts in your phone.

Noah needed to be picked up in the next forty minutes, and you didn't know how long she would be in her office, but you tried to reach Tracy anyway. When you gave your name to her receptionist, you were shocked that he put you right through to Bradley's lawyer.

"I hope Bradley thanked you for me. The Red Bulls were very sweet of you."

You laughed at Tracy in spite of the fact that you felt like crying. "It's the least I could do." Then you took a deep breath and said, "I was wondering if there is any way you can help me? I don't want to end up with Bradley having to pay you if you give me advice over the phone or anything like that. But I think I need some help right now even though he should be back on Wednesday."

"Your boyfriend basically has me on retainer for you. What do you need?" Tracy asked.

"Retainer?" you asked. No, that couldn't be right.

"I was given explicit instructions to help you with anything you might call about. We're not going to worry about any billing, because he certainly wasn't worried, okay? What can I do for you?"

You sucked in a deep breath as you paced around the kitchen. You felt defeated. That damn USB drive was on top of the refrigerator. The coffee machine you could barely figure out how to use was on the counter. The list of phone numbers in Bradley's handwriting was on the table. So you walked out back and forced yourself to say, "I think Meredith broke into my rental which I had already moved out of. And I saw her at a gas station before that."

There was a long enough pause that you were about to repeat yourself, but then she said, "I think that if she did break into your rental, it was purely out of spite. Because I actually have some news about Meredith that I was waiting to tell Bradley. But I think you and I should have a conversation first, and then you should decide if you want to call the police."

---------------------------

Bradley just wanted to get off this aircraft carrier. He had one night left in this fucking bunk with Carl, and then he could go home to his cozy house and sweet son and your warm, welcoming body. Maybe you'd let him snuggle with you and Noah on the couch, and then after Noah's bedtime, he could take you to bed. He couldn't stop thinking about every single way he wanted to have you. And then he could fall asleep with you wrapped up in his arms and your soft breath on his skin.

He was almost getting hard just thinking about it. It had been a long time since he had someone to come home to, someone who was waiting just for him. He felt like he wanted to reward you for it. God, he wanted to give you everything. He had to tuck his hands up behind his head in his bunk and force himself to try to go to sleep. But he dreamed about your voice and your fingertips on his face.

The following day went quickly as they docked in the afternoon. Once he was able to text you, Bradley was pleased to see that you were more responsive.

I'm docked, Princess. We got in a little early, but I haven't deboarded yet. I know you're at work, but I can't wait to see you whenever you can come pick me up.

My Princess: I'll be there by four with Noah. We missed you so much!

When he was able to finally collect his things and start down the ramp, Bradley's heart was thudding in his ears. It wasn't four o'clock yet, and he knew he might have to wait for you to get there, but then he was pleasantly surprised. As he started walking along the fence to the parking lot, he spotted his Bronco in the last aisle. You had parked it away from everything and everything else, and that brought a smile to his face.

And then he saw you, carrying Noah and hurrying toward him in your new work scrubs that he hadn't even seen yet. A smile broke out on his face as he rushed to close the distance. "Noah! Princess!"

"Daddy!" Noah squealed with delight, practically jumping from your arms to his. Bradley wrapped Noah up in his right arm and kissed him all over his face, reaching for you at the same time with his free hand. "I love you, Bub. Did you have fun with Princess?"

But you hesitated. And when Bradley met your eyes, he was still reaching for you, but you were only very slowly stepping toward him. "Come here," he rasped, slipping his arm around your waist until you were snug at his side. "I love you." Those words seemed to do the trick as you melted against him, and your chin tipped up as you looked at him.

"I missed you so much," you told him, your voice soft and maybe a little sad? And Bradley kissed you hard and heady in front of everyone including Noah, letting his hand rest on the swell of your butt. He didn't care. You belonged with him. He wanted you there forever.

But even though you were clinging to his uniform shirt now and returning his kisses with a soft moan, he could tell you were holding back. He trailed a few kisses along your jaw back toward your ear and whispered, "I love you, Baby," and you shivered for him. But when he reached for your hand, he found it was bandaged up. And you looked at him with barely concealed frustration. He could just tell something was wrong.

"What happened?" he asked, repositioning Noah in his arm and letting his son's cheek rest on his shoulder. He kissed your fingers and ran his thumb along the bandage. "What's wrong with your hand?"

You tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let you. "Can we talk about it later? Tonight?"

"Yeah," he agreed, suddenly even more apprehensive. "We can."

"Great," you replied, leading the way to the Bronco with your fingers loosely tangled with his. And while Bradley walked with his lips pressed to his son's forehead and his duffle bag on his back, he was worried about you.

You were still quiet when the three of you pulled into the driveway and headed inside. "I have a lasagna ready to go in the oven," you told Bradley when he followed you into the kitchen. "Should we start doing your laundry?"

He laughed softly as he put Noah down in one of the chairs and dropped his bag to the floor. "Princess," he whispered, reaching for your soft cheek. "Baby, I don't care about my laundry. I don't even really care about dinner, but I love that you have something ready to go. I just want you to tell me what's bothering you."

He watched you swallow hard, and he thought he saw your eyes dart toward the top of the refrigerator. "Bradley," you muttered.

"You know I thought about you nonstop, right?" he whispered, remembering how it felt to have his fist connect with Carl's face as he made sure he got his polaroid back. "On repeat. I just wanted to be home." He kissed your lips over and over again, stroking your soft skin with his thumb. "So I'll take care of whatever has you upset. You know I will."

You just nodded and let your eyes flutter closed. And all you offered him was one word. "Later."

After dinner was eaten and cleaned up, Bradley spent some extra time giving Noah a bath. The tub was absolutely filled with toys, and Bradley ended up removing his soaking wet undershirt, kneeling on the floor in just his underwear and service khakis. "I missed you so much," he said, kissing his son over and over again. "But I know you had fun with Princess."

Noah held out a green duckie for Bradley to take before he said, "I want Princess to be my mommy."

Bradley met brown eyes that matched his, and he easily said, "I do too, Bub. She would be really good at it." You already were good at it. But something was wrong, and he needed to figure it out. The two of you weren't acting the way he had hoped you would after being apart for weeks. And now he was questioning whether or not you'd actually want to marry him someday.

It was late. Definitely after Noah's usual bedtime. He was yawning now, but Bradley had been so excited to see him, he let him stay up. With one more big yawn, Bradley scooped his son out of the tub with a towel and drained the water. Then he stopped in the living room where you were sitting on the couch, and he let Noah give you a goodnight kiss. And he leaned down and kissed your cheek as well. "I'll be back out in a minute. We'll talk."

"Okay," you said softly, and then Bradley was thankful that Noah was already falling asleep as soon as he was in bed. On his way back out to the living room, he stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of merlot and a bag of Skittles he had stashed away.

After he opened the bottle and took a sip, he met you in the living room. Your gaze took in his naked torso as you bit your lip, and when he handed you the wine with no glass, you took a sip from the bottle as well.

"Let's talk?" he asked, settling down next to you. He opened the bag of candy and patted his thigh. "And snuggle? I've been saving the wine and Skittles for our reunion, but you'll have to remind me which color goes best with merlot."

He could tell you were trying not to smile as you scooted across the couch and onto his lap while you sipped the wine. "Red, Daddy. Red Skittles pair with merlot."

"Yes," he rasped, kissing the side of your neck. "That's right. Now that I'm all yours again, just like I'm supposed to be, why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

You handed him the bottle in favor of the candy, and you crunched on a few pieces before you said, "I moved all of my stuff in. And I used your address for my new hire paperwork."

Bradley had to hold back a moan. That sounded so fucking perfect to him, he wanted to take you on the floor right now, right in the middle of the area rug. But instead he just tightened his arm around your waist. "Mmhmm, you know just want to say to make me happy. And you did so great with Noah. I knew you would be perfect, Princess."

But then you met his eyes and held up your bandaged hand. "I had to call Tracy on Monday," you said, and Bradley's heart dropped.

"Why?"

You pressed your lips together and looked down at the bottle of wine before taking it from his hand and drinking some more. "I saw Meredith at the gas station near Noah's daycare," you whispered, your voice soft and harsh.

"She broke the restraining order?" he growled. "What the fuck?"

"It was just a gas station," you replied quietly. "And I think she was already there when I pulled in." Bradley was about to rage, but then you kept going. "But then someone broke into my rental, and I cut my hand when Noah was with me. And it must have been Meredith, so I called Tracy, because you weren't here, and I wasn't sure what to do." When you took a deep breath there was a little sob with it that made Bradley clench with the need to protect you.

"Shit! I wish you didn't have to do this by yourself," he replied, heart skipping faster. "But I'm proud of you. What did Tracy say about Meredith?"

"She helped me file a police report, and they said they are looking for evidence, but my landlord is pissed off that the window is broken. He was supposed to have a new renter move in this week, and he's threatening me about paying for another month. He told me to fix the glass, but the police won't even let me. And you and I are supposed to go meet up with Tracy tomorrow." You hiccupped when you finished talking.

"Shh," Bradley said, setting the bottle down on the end table and pulling you to his body so your cheek came to rest on his chest. "Baby, I'll take care of it. But back up, and go slow. Did Meredith threaten you or Noah?"

You shrugged against his body, and Bradley focused on every single word you had to say about the gas station and your broken windowpane and the note that was left. And how the police and Tracy both agreed that there's probably not enough evidence to prove anything one way or the other. And then you seemed wrung out as a tear slid down your cheek when you said, "Tracy did tell me that Meredith was on trial for the fraud charges I brought up against her during the custody hearing. When I saw her at the gas station, she told me I ruined her life. And then my window was smashed, probably just because she's such a horrible bitch."

"Make sense," he mumbled against your hair. No wonder he had several unread emails from Tracy that he knew he still needed to go through. Shit. You'd dealt with an awful lot in his absence. He wondered if that meant Meredith was being sentenced. "And we have an appointment with Tracy tomorrow?"

"Yes," you whispered, curling up tighter against his body. "During my lunch break."

"Okay." He kissed your forehead and ran his hands up and down your back. "I'm still off tomorrow. I'll drop you off at work in the morning, and then I'll come back for you whenever you want. And we'll go talk to Tracy, and I promise you, I will take care of everything." You were practically shaking as he added, "Because you take care of us."

You were nodding as you finally looked up at him, and as angry as Bradley was about more bullshit from Meredith, you and Noah were safe. And Tracy would probably have more information for him tomorrow. But right now, you needed someone to take care of you for a minute. "I love you," he promised, considering how exhausted you looked. "Let's take a shower and get in bed?"

Whether you were nodding in agreement or because you were still shaky, Bradley wasn't sure. But he carried you into the bathroom and set you down gently as he turned the shower on. Once you were undressed he helped you in and carefully unwrapped the bandage on your hand. There was a jagged cut on your palm that made his heart lurch. "I'll clean it and rebandage it, Princess," he said, trying to hide the anger in his voice. You didn't deserve any of the shit you'd repeatedly gone through since you met him.

"Okay," you whispered, and as soon as he was out of his khakis and underwear, you were pulling him in with you. Bradley was helpless in his feelings for you. Very carefully, he took his time and washed you so you didn't irritate your cut further. And he let himself just enjoy the feel of your body against his as he gently held your hand.

When he turned the shower off, he wrapped you in a towel and carried you to the bedroom. Everything looked exactly as it should: your purple crown was on his bedpost, everything was tidy, and the bed looked inviting. But you still didn't look relaxed as he helped you into his gray sweatpants and a soft undershirt before bandaging your hand again.

"What will make you feel better?" he asked, pulling on clean underwear as you climbed into bed. "Tell me, and I'll do it. I just want you to know how much I missed you and how happy I am that you moved all your stuff in while I was away."

You peeled the blanket back on his side of the bed and whispered, "Snuggle with me?"

You looked so perfect and innocent, and Bradley slid in bed with you and collected you in his arms. "Come here, Baby. Let me tell you how much I love you."

----------------------------

You started to fall asleep in Bradley's arms while he rubbed small circles on your back through his undershirt which you were wearing. You had been on the brink of erupting into tears all night, and you hadn't even mentioned the USB drive. And now that he was home, you didn't know if you were strong enough to bring it up at all.

If he knew it was in that box in the attic, then you were going to make a fool of yourself. And if he forgot about its existence, he was going to think you were snooping through his things even though he gave you permission to use the attic. Either way, you weren't going to mention it, at least not yet.

There were too many other things to think about anyway. Like whether or not the police found anything in your rental. And how you were going to fix the window. And if Meredith was actually going to attempt something with you or Noah, or if she was just bitter that she might be facing jail time.

"Daddy," you whispered, and Bradley's arm tightened around you as he kissed the top of your head.

"Just sleep, Baby. I'll be right here."

As you dozed off, you realized you didn't have to be on full alert at the moment. For the first night in so long, you could just sleep and know he was with you and Noah. And then you were out.

Next thing you knew, it was light inside the bedroom, and Bradley was waking you up with gentle kisses on your face. You reached for him, and then his body weight was on top of you as he chuckled. "Baby, we'll be late."

"Good, I want to stay in bed all day," you whined, but soon you were dressed in your scrubs and making breakfast while Bradley got Noah ready for daycare. You hated the way you felt like you were holding back being as physical as you wanted to be with your boyfriend.

And then a flash of panic shot through you. He must have been expecting you to have sex with him last night, when instead you fell asleep as a bundle of nerves. You were still a bundle of nerves, but now you felt like crying as well. But he was acting so normal when he brought Noah into the kitchen to eat pancakes. "Just leave the mess in the sink, and I'll take care of it later," he said casually, reaching for your good hand to give you another kiss.

But you were thinking about the USB drive, and your meeting with Tracy and your job. And you barely kissed him back this time. "Okay," you agreed before picking at your breakfast.

Bradley looked concerned now, and he continued to look concerned a little later as he pulled into Noah's daycare parking lot. "I can take him in," you muttered, but he had already turned off the Bronco's engine.

"Let's go together," he replied, eyeing you skeptically as he climbed out to get Noah. And when you were walking in, side by side, Bradley asked, "Will you tell me what else is on your mind?"

You just shook your head, because you didn't want to get into this right now. But he took your hand anyway. And of course the same girl was working at the front desk with her clipboard.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw! Good morning!"

"Hi, Casey," he replied smoothly, his fingers laced with yours.

"How was your deployment? We really missed you here." She gave you some serious side eye, and you just knew she wished you weren't even around.

"It was fine," he replied, setting Noah down and kissing him. And then Noah turned to you for a hug before he walked back to the playroom. Then Bradley tugged you a little closer to him and wrapped his arm around you before signing the clipboard with the back of your body snug up against the front of his. He kissed your neck while Casey watched. "Let's go before you're late for work, Princess," he whispered next to your ear.

He handed the clipboard to Casey without even looking at her, and you were so mixed up inside, you wanted to scream. Five minutes ago, you were dreading the idea of being intimate with Bradley without showing him the USB drive first, and now you wanted to fuck him in the front seat of the Bronco.

"Listen," he said, voice stern as he pulled out into traffic and headed toward your medical complex. "Something is bugging you. I want you to be honest with me. After we talk to Tracy together, you and I are having a conversation later today. And by the end of that conversation, I want you and I to feel the way we are supposed to feel again. Because you moved all your stuff into the house, which I think is us officially taking the next step in our relationship. And I'm used to feeling comfortable when I'm with you. Okay?"

You pressed your lips together. There was no getting around it now. "Yes."

-----------------------------

"I really like Tracy and all, but I was hoping I'd never have to come here again," Bradley said as you and he rode the elevator up to her office.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, running your hands down the front of your now wrinkly scrubs. "It's probably my fault."

Bradley did a double take. "Your fault? How would this possibly be your fault, Baby?"

You sighed and exited the elevator, and Bradley just wanted you to look happy again. "Because I'm the one who mentioned all of Meredith's insider trading and shady deals in the first place."

"Hey," he said, leading you down the hallway with his hand at your back. "This is one hundred percent Meredith's fault. And the fraud charges were probably coming whether or not we said anything about it during the custody hearing."

Then Tracy's receptionist was waving the two of you past his desk without question, and Bradley thought that was either a very good or a very bad sign.

"Meredith is in custody," Tracy announced as soon as her office door was closed behind Bradley.

You gasped and said, "She's in prison."

"Yes. Now have a seat," she replied, pointing to the small conference table. "Because we have some things to discuss. Welcome home, Bradley." Then she set down a copy of Meredith's mugshot and arrest information.

"What a warm welcome," he muttered, skimming the paperwork. "She turned herself in?"

"She did," Tracy told him, taking the empty seat across the table and cracking open a Red Bull. "Probably broke the window at your place for fun as her last hurrah before turning herself in."

"Did the police find anything?" you asked her. "My landlord is so mad about the window."

Tracy just kind of shrugged. "Like I told you before, it's probably a lost cause. Nobody picked anything up on a doorbell camera, and it's impossible to tell exactly when it happened since you haven't actually been living there for a few months." You nodded, and then Tracy asked, "But if they do find evidence, would you like to press charges?"

"No," you replied immediately, and Bradley leaned in a little closer.

"Are you sure? We can absolutely press charges if you want to."

"Come on, Bradley," you said quietly, even though Tracy could still hear. "I don't want to cost you any more money. And I can't afford Tracy on my own."

You looked at him with pleading eyes, and he leaned in even closer to you. How many times had the two of you had this fucking conversation? Too many for him to keep track of, and it annoyed him every single time. "Look at me," he whispered when you started to turn away. As soon as you met his eyes again, he kissed you softly. But his voice was rough around the edges as he said, "I would defend you with my life. Why would my money be any different? Why is that the thing that is always too much for you?"

With a soft gasp, you gaped at him. "Your life?"

"Yes, of course," he said, brow furrowed. "So I really need you to stop making a fuss about everything else. Because it doesn't matter compared to you. Or compared to Noah. Or compared to us. And I'm getting pretty fucking sick of having this conversation over and over again with you."

"Bradley," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck. He chanced a glance at Tracy, but she was simply scrolling on her phone now. And he could hear tears in your voice as you said, "Money isn't as important as you either."

"Exactly," he growled, holding you tight. "Fuck, Princess... don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. But if you want to press charges, if there's even a reason to press charges, I will gladly pay for Tracy. She's expensive as hell, because she's very good."

"That's right," Tracy murmured, still scrolling.

You pulled away from him and kissed his scarred cheek a few times before you said, "Can I think about it? I mean, Meredith was probably just acting like a petty bitch because she could."

"We can wait for a police report," Tracy supplied, setting down her phone. "And I can get more information about Meredith as well."

You nodded and looked up at Bradley. "That's what I want to do."

"Then that's what we'll do," he agreed right away.

"Tracy, do you know when I'll be able to replace the window? My landlord is threatening me with another month of rent."

She just snorted. "Send me a copy of your lease agreement. I'll make him cry."

When the three of you stood, Bradley could tell you seemed more relaxed, and he kissed the now dry tears from your cheek. "How much do I owe you for today?" Bradley asked Tracy as he took your bandaged hand in his.

"No worries. I'll bill you."

"Worth every cent," Bradley told you once again as you rode the elevator back down.

You had your head resting on his chest as you pulled out your phone, and he could see your screen as you said, "Dr. Kelly texted me. She told me to just take the rest of the afternoon for myself."

"Do you want to head home?" he asked as you tucked your phone away again.

"Yeah, I'll make us lunch."

"Perfect," he replied. "And then we can talk."

And you seemed fine on the way home, changing radio stations in the Bonco and talking about how you hoped Meredith would have to serve the full fifteen years she was being threatened with. Bradley didn't really give much of a fuck about Meredith as long as you felt safe and happy. As long as things went back to normal for the three of you.

But as soon as you walked into the kitchen, you seemed apprehensive once again. He watched you carefully get some butter and cheese out of the refrigerator, claiming you were in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich. But then you tossed everything onto the counter and spun to face him.

"I can't take it any more, okay?" You were nearly shouting at him, fists clenched at your sides. Your pretty face was all pinched like you were in pain.

"What?" Bradley asked, rushing to you. "What's wrong?" And then he saw one rogue tear streak down your cheek. Something was making you cry again, and he needed to know what it was.

"She's so many things that I know are horrible, but she's also so many things that I wish I could be... but I'm just not." You took a deep breath and reached up on your tiptoes to take something down from the top of the refrigerator. "I just want to know why it's here, okay?" you asked him, your hands shaking as you reached out with a blue USB drive on your bandaged palm. "Just don't lie to me about why you have this, Bradley. I know it's a few years old, but I just don't understand why you had it in the attic with Noah's baby clothes."

He took it in his own hand, and it seemed familiar. When he looked up and met your eyes, you were crying and trying to swipe the tears away. "I'm confused..."

You pointed at his laptop which was charging on the table, and said, "Just tell me the truth," as you sobbed.

Bradley opened the computer and tried to keep a wary eye on you at the same time. But as soon as he inserted the USB drive and the folder automatically opened up, he heard you softly say, "I can't," before you rushed out of the room.

He was still baffled as he tapped on the video thumbnail. And then he wanted to throw the computer across the room. His blood ran cold as he remembered making this video. The details were hazy, but when he heard himself tell Meredith that he loved her, he wrenched the drive back out of the laptop and heard it clatter across the floor as he ran after you.

"Princess!"

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Fix it now, Daddy!! You better fix it! I hope you enjoy your babysitter story @beyondthesefourwalls and thank you @mak-32

PART 33

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butdaddyilovehim-hs · 8 months

Text

Tolerate It

Inspired by 'Tolerate It' by Taylor Swift :)

"I know my love should be celebrated... but you tolerate it."

Quite frankly, Y/N isn’t sure how much longer she can take this. It’s the second time this week Harry hasn’t been home for dinner and it’s only Wednesday. Y/N is normally fine looking after baby Elle by herself, she knows Harry has important things to do and people to meet and deals to close its just… lately he’s been different. More withdrawn, constantly at work and seemingly finding less and less time to spend with his wife and 6 month old daughter. That morning he had left in a whirlwind, pressing a quick, barely there kiss to her cheek before promising to be home for dinner at 7.

Y/N swirls what’s left in her wine glass as she glances over at the clock that reads 9:14. He’d be out for a while yet, she knew. Sighing, she puts his plate in the fridge, washing the dishes before getting ready for bed, popping into check on Elle. She smiles softly at the rise and fall of her daughter’s chest as she sleeps, leaning down and kissing her head then moving away from the crib and towards her own bedroom. It’s Y/N and Harry’s shared room but Y/N can’t remember the last time she actually woke up to Harry still in the room. Or the last time she fell asleep with him beside her.

Y/N intends to wait up for her husband but when her eyes flutter closed she can’t seem to stop them. They open after what only feels like minutes later when the bed dips on Harry’s side. She blinks sleepily, watching him slide into bed and prop himself up against the pillows, reading with his head low. She shuffles, catching his attention and when he meets her gaze, she smiles tiredly up at him.

“Hey. Thought you were going to be home for dinner?”

“Things got busy. Ate at the office.” He turns his attention back to the book he’s reading and Y/N’s smile droops.

“You could have called. I waited for you.”

Harry scoffs at her confession, rolling his eyes.

“Y/N I don’t have time to give you a call every time I’m going to be a bit late coming home. Get off my case, it’s fucking annoying.” His voice rises slightly in volume as he gets frustrated, but not loud enough to wake Elle in the next room.

“I’m not trying to be annoying H. I’m just saying that I missed you today and as your wife it would just be nice if you could let me know.” Y/N sighs, rolling over, her back to him as she tries to go back to sleep. Her breath hitches as she feels Harry come closer to her, kissing her shoulder before burying his face in her neck.

“Sorry my love, I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just really caught up lately.”

“I know you are.” Y/N tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as he sponges kisses on her neck, shoulders and then slowly down her arm.

“Tomorrow. Take Elle to my mum’s and I’ll be home around 5. Let’s make it a date night, just us.” At this, Y/N turns to face him, a small grin on her face.

“Yeah? Just us?”

“Just us bub. Promise I’ll be home in time and I’m all yours.”

Y/N believes him. So, she does what Harry says. Take’s Elle over to Anne’s around midday, the older woman over the moon to spend some extra time with her granddaughter. Around 2, her best friend makes a surprise visit to the house, finding Y/N slaving away in the kitchen.

“Are you cooking for 12?” Lucy laughs as Y/N rushes around putting finishing touches on what seems to be a ten course meal.

“No… just Harry and I. But I’m making all his favourites. I want tonight to be special for us. He’s been so busy with work lately.”

“What are you wearing?” Lucy smirks at Y/N who simply blushes.

“It’s on the bed.” She says referring to the lacy white lingerie set that Harry had bought her for their first anniversary. Lucy wolf whistles, causing Y/N to turn even redder.

“Lucky husband, that Harry of yours. Now hurry up and finish so we can have a glass of wine before he gets here and I have to go.”

Y/N grabs a bottle and the two women sit and chat for a few hours before Y/N realises it’s 10 to 5 and she needs to go and change. She kicks Lucy out as politely as possible before getting ready and waiting for Harry.

The clock ticks over to 5:00pm. Then 5:01pm. Then 5:20pm.

At 5:30pm, she calls. His phone is off.

At 6:00pm, she finishes a second bottle of wine, and then she calls again. His phone is still off.

At 6:17pm, Lucy sends her a link to an article and Y/N feels the sudden urge to throw up. Because the article is about Harry and the headline reads: Trouble in Paradise? Styles and Co CEO Harry Styles seen partying on a yacht with ex Kendall Jenner, just months after celebrating his third wedding anniversary and welcoming daughter Elle Styles.

The photos are incriminating. Kendall’s face in his neck, his hands around her waist. Kendall getting into a cab, leading Harry behind her.

Lucy calls. Y/N doesn’t answer.

At 8:15pm, Y/N picks herself up off the floor, goes upstairs, grabs a bag throws essential things inside for her and Elle and gets her keys.

That’s when the door opens and her husband walks, stumbles, through the front door.

“Sorry I’m late. Something smells good.” Harry’s words have a slight slur to them, she knows he’s been drinking but she can’t bring herself to care. He steps closer and she wrinkles her nose.

“You smell like her.” Y/N comments, willing herself not to cry.

“Who? Kendall?” Harry is suddenly ten times more alert, worry evident on his face.

“Nothing happened Y/N.” “Sure didn’t look like nothing. In fact the photos were… quite something.”

“Love… I don’t- I put her in a cab and she went home. It was supposed to be a quick meeting and then it turned into a yacht event and I know you wanted me home earlier but I-”

“This isn’t about me wanting you home earlier Harry. I wanted this night for us. Because we’re drifting apart and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“You’re being dramatic, I’ve just been busy.”

“You’ve been “busy” for 4 months Harry. Are you not in love with me anymore?” Y/N’s voice trembles but she holds his gaze. Harry feels his heart drop into the floor.

“…What?”

“Tell me it’s all in my head. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Y/N calm down. You’re acting insane, of course I love you.”

“Harry, you make me feel annoying when all I want is for you to love me back as much as I love you! You just sit there and you… you just tolerate me. And I don’t deserve that. I sit here in this stupid mansion you bought for us with our daughter who probably doesn’t even know that you’re her father because you’re never around. I just sit here and I wait with Elle. For you to come home to me, for you to tell me you need me as much as I need you. And I don’t think I can do it anymore.” She pushes past him to the garage and he grabs her wrist gently. “Y/N. Baby where are you going?”

“Bit late for the pet names H. Don’t you think?” She scoffs.

“I need space. Come find Elle and I if you think you’re going to be able to show up for us, because I don’t feel the need to explain to our daughter why she doesn’t have a fucking dad.”

Harry steps back, looking at her helplessly as her words cut him deep.

“Bye Harry.”

Read Part II here

Tags:

@lukesaprince @harryspirate @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @lilyrmason12 @styleslover-1994 @stylesfever @kathb59 @indierockgirrl @bxbyysstuff @gills-lounge

#harry styles #hslot #love on tour #harry styles au #harrystyles #harry styles fic #harry styles fics #harry styles smut #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles ceo

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chimcess · 21 days

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Waterlog || pjm (3)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 12.2k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: toxic relationship (not reader and jimin), arguments, cheating (not reader and jimin), talks about previous child abuse, anxiety attack, strong language, crying, emotional abuse (not reader and jimin), talks of bad parental relationships, abandonment issues, some PTSD, prescription medication use, mentions of depression and mental health, lots of angst in this one, finally making some progress though, age insecurity, mutual pining, lots of side character development in this one, they really are so sweet together, jimin just being the nicest boy in the world, so much PDA, physical touch is his love language 👀👀👀, writing this is so comforting even when its angsty lol, i think that's it, let me know if I missed something A/N: Hello hello. Probably my favorite chapter to date. Bad news is that I think this series might be a little longer than originally intended. My inability to just get to the point has things moving a little slow, but I'm trying my best. We'll have to see, though! Hope you enjoy reading :)

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Time went by quickly. Wednesday and Friday morning, Jimin and I met up to train for a few hours and then got breakfast together. When he asked if I wanted to work out with him in the evenings, I agreed. In the beginning, I had given him pointers, but after the second week came to a close, we had started exercising in silence. We spotted one another, made small talk, and went to dinner on the nights he did not go home to be with his parents. We got along and I was happy my overwhelming attraction to him had slowly calmed down.

I was still aware of his presence, the way he smelled, and how often he smiled and laughed, but I had grown used to seeing him walking around in barely anything at all. Hoseok called me a cougar whenever we had time to chat while Andy kept telling me to talk with Jimin about how I felt, but I had gotten very good at deflecting. Things were better and I was taking my wins whenever I could get them. Even if those wins meant I went home sexually frustrated and aching for someone to make it better.

Jimin was packing up for the night and I was getting ready to head out. He had plans with a large group of his friends, so I would have to figure out dinner by myself this time. He invited me but I politely declined. I could vaguely recall how rude his friends from that restaurant had been, and that one girl's mean glare. I had no interest in repeating that.

Giselle waved at me on her way out which I returned with a smile. She was a very sweet, college girl and getting to know her was fun. Her brother moved out here six years ago and was the only reason she left Memphis. In-State tuition and a rent-free bedroom was all it took to convince her to spend some quality time with her big brother and his dog, Lucky.

She and Sam were the closest, but I would often see her eating lunch with Megan when he was with a client. Everyone was making bets on when they would eventually hook up, but I was convinced that had already happened and they were keeping it a secret from the nosy staff.

"See you tomorrow," Yoongi called out from across the room, seemingly appearing out of thin air.

He was out of eyesight before I could reply.

"Bye Yoon," Giselle sing-songed anyway, shoving her ear buds in and leaving before the door could close behind Yoongi. "Night guys!"

As the young woman said, Yoongi and Megan were the two most important people to befriend. Not just for massages either. The both of them were hilarious and kept the back fridge stocked with our favorite snacks. On the mornings I did not have time to eat breakfast, Megan stopped and got me a muffin and coffee from her favorite cafe. If I needed someone to help me out in the pool, Yoongi was always happy to offer himself for the job. It was challenging for me to focus on my swimming when Jimin was around, and I would often come in early to get a quick work out in before he got here.

“You okay getting home?” Jimin asked.

We had come together tonight, and he had offered to drive us in his truck. I had grown very fond of the green machine, which Jimin affectionately called Fiona, and I jumped at the chance to get in his passenger seat. We were usually riding around in my car since it was better on gas.

“Yeah, I’m riding with Sam.”

Sam and I had grown close as well. He was super funny and always down to hang out with me if I showed up by myself. On the odd Sunday I felt like getting out of the house, I found myself at the gym with Sam. I was currently attempting to teach him how to swim and always filled in for Yoongi on the weekends.

Jimin nodded, “Good. See you this weekend?”

I smiled, “Can’t miss your big party.”

Jimin’s 24th birthday was on the 13th and his family liked to go big. Eloise was clearing out an entire section in their restaurant for all of us, and I had found myself teamed up with Taehyung to help with the planning. Na-Yeon put everything in his hands since she was not feeling up to the task this year. I only agreed to help when I realized just how overboard the snowboarder would go if no one was there to reel him back in. So far, I had placed the responsibility of decorating, music, and organizing the gift table on my shoulders. James had pulled me aside and thanked me when he found out. Apparently, he was also worried about Taehyung’s enthusiasm.

“It should be fun,” He nodded. “I’m going to head out.”

“See you tomorrow,” We had finally started coming 5 days a week. "We're working on your turns. Butterflies, too. Be prepared.”

He groaned, “You’re torturing me, coach.”

I laughed, “Is the baby upset?”

“Very,” He winked. My mouth went dry. Sometimes I felt silly for getting nervous around him, especially when I knew he flirted with everyone. I was not special. “See you Saturday.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled as I stared at his retreating back. “See you.”

Jimin’s birthday passed quietly. We had a great time and ate well. Taehyung got drunk enough to suggest karaoke once we cleared out the place for the night, and he and Na-yeon had all of us cracking up. I finally met Jungkook’s girlfriend, a pretty girl who did not talk very much, and I could feel the tension between the two of them. Jimin said that was just how they were and to ignore it.

After Jungkook successfully shoved Jimin's face into his cake, we opened presents. The boys got him tons of workout clothes and gear, Eloise bought him a new blender, and his parents both chipped in to get the new video game he had been talking about picking up.

I gifted him a bottle of his favorite cologne after Na-Yeon mentioned he was out. Jo Malone was the most distracting thing in my life right now, its scent clinging to the passenger side of my car most days and driving me insane if Jimin stood too close. Still, it was something I did not think I could part with now. Jimin was happy with the present and hugged me after opening it. I was positive I had this stupid grin on my face for the rest of the night.

By Halloween we were in the gym every day, save Sunday and the occasional Saturday when Jimin needed some time to rest. We both kept our word, our conversation at the restaurant we went to with Jungkook and Taehyung sticking better than I thought it would. Overtime he got more confident when asking for a break and I was a professional at picking up on his body language. We were a good team, and I was confident he would be in great shape for the Olympics.

It was mid-November now and Taehyung had finally gotten around to getting us together for the sushi date in Detroit. I had just gotten out of the shower when Jimin messaged he was going to come along. His mom had a rough Sunday and could not go to their usual dance class, so he had stayed with her instead. He looked worn out when he walked inside the pool room Monday morning so instead of training, I just sent him home. We were meeting back up on Wednesday to get back to work, but it seemed Jungkook’s nagging finally convinced him to come out with the rest of us.

My relationships with his friends had also started to improve. Taehyung had added me to their group chat a few weeks back and I had tried to keep up with them as often as I could remember to. It was not difficult. They text so often I had to silence notifications for the chat, but I had to admit they were really funny. Jungkook especially.

I was happy to spend time with everyone and getting out of the house sounded nice. Violet and Calvin were great, and I did enjoy eating dinner with them sometimes, but I would be lying if I said they would be my first choice to spend time with.

I had grown close enough with Taehyung during the partying planning that his bubbly, over the top personality had become more endearing than overwhelming. We had gone to lunch a few times together, his boldness only increasing with each meet up, and he could hold me hostage for hours if I let him. Milo was typically my saving grace, and Taehyung would leave with a wet kiss to my cheek and promises of the same time next week.

Tae: Y/N should pick you up

Jimin: Why???

Kookie: Your truck is ass

I chuckled and sent off a text of my own before going to my dresser to find something warm to wear.

Me: I don’t mind driving

Me: Don’t hate on the truck. I like it.

My phone chimed a few times but I ignored it for now. I knew I wanted to wear a pair of dark, navy jeans. It was freezing outside so a long sleeve was a must, but I could get away with just two layers. My hands found a mustard-yellow turtleneck and I smiled. I could wear my brown boots with it. Happy with my outfit, I checked on the chat.

Jimin: U sure?

Tae: The truck is GREEN

Tae: Already a crime

Kookie: It can’t go over 60

Darcy: omg stop blowing my phone up

Darcy: just ride with her dude

Jimin: Y/N?

I rolled my eyes. I hated when he did that. Jimin had the habit of double and triple checking in with someone. It was sweet but it also drove me insane. There was nothing more I disliked than repeating myself, especially if I already agreed to something.

Me: I’ll pick you up in 30, k?

Jimin: Thanks

Darcy: Was that so hard?

I frowned. So, Darcy was in a bad mood then. Shouldn't take it out on Jimin, I thought. Even if she was having a bad day, something that seemed to be a reoccurring theme with her, it doesn't mean she can just talk to people like that. Fighting the urge to give into my annoyance and call her out, I tossed my phone on my bed and made myself finish getting ready.

Walking into the living room, I went on a hunt for the jacket I wanted to wear. It was the same color as my leather boots with sherpa trim. It would tie everything together and, I hoped, would keep Taehyung from complaining too much about the “offensive” color of my shirt. He had a hard time accepting anything in the yellow or green family. Finding it on the sofa, I nodded and left it be. I would grab it on my way out.

It took me more time to get my hair figured out than anything, but once I gave up and did the same thing that I did every day, it worked itself. After that, I put on a little bit of makeup since I figured it would not take me very long. This was a casual outing with friends and the dim lights of the sushi place would give me some grace if things were not perfect. A nice base, simple eye look, and a layer of mascara already had me looking more awake than I had in months. After applying a layer of lip gloss and a misting of setting spray, I was out of the door, jacket keeping me warm, and purse tucked under my arm.

I drove in silence, like I always did, and pulled onto the curb of Jimin’s house. Sending a text to the chat, I waited for him to come out. I was a few minutes later than I said I would be, but Jimin found a way to be late for everything, so I did not feel that bad about it. Taehyung and Milo were already on leaving Ann Arbor, and Jungkook and Darcy riding with them. They would only beat us there by fifteen minutes or so, but I hoped he would hurry up and come outside. Taehyung worked hard for those reservations.

My phone vibrated and I stared at the little device in my cup holder. It was weird how my anxiety fluctuated on a daily basis. Back home, I could talk on the phone and hold a conversation behind the wheel, but ever since I came to Michigan it felt like I had taken three massive steps back. Taking a few deep breaths, I told myself that I was safe. I was parked, completely stationary, and no one was around. No traffic meant no accidents. Sucking in a harsh breath, I picked it up.

Jimin: Be out in a sec

Jimin: Just making sure mom is okay

He had not left his mother’s house in days. I was worried about Na-Yeon, but I had to believe that Jimin would tell me if something was seriously wrong with her. I had truly started to feel connected with the woman. We joked over dinner and I found myself helping her out more and more each time I came by. It would devastate me if she passed away without me knowing how bad it had gotten.

Me: Take your time

He came out only two minutes later. Wearing a heavy, black puffy jacket and tight pants, Jimin leisurely walked over and got into the car. His cologne hit me as soon as the door opened, and I bit my lip, trying to hide the deep inhale I took. Jo fucking Malone.

He smiled at me but otherwise kept quiet as I drove. He knew I had a difficult time behind the wheel and tried his best to keep conversation light. While I normally appreciated the sentiment, I did not want to make him sit in silence for 45 minutes. Opening and closing my mouth a few times, I struggled to come up with a good conversation topic.

We often bounced from idea to idea, mostly sticking to swimming and music, and I always found our little talks to be very insightful. Movies and tv shows had been fun to bond over, a small generational gap introducing us to shit we had never heard of before. There were so many things I could bring up, things that Jimin would jump at the idea to talk about. Still, I could not find my voice.

“So,” I started, awkwardly, trying to push past the blockade of anxiety. “Is this place as good as Tae says or is he going off on one of his rants again?”

Jimin chuckled softly. “It’s pretty good, but it’s still just sushi. Taehyung finds a way to make everything sound extravagant.”

We shared a quiet laugh.

“It was nice of him to invite me,” My hands gripped the wheel tighter. We were starting to approach more populated areas. “He didn’t have to do that.”

Jimin snorted childishly, the sound relaxing me ever so slightly. If there was one thing I hated was driving at night. I was lucky the snow had stopped falling yesterday afternoon and the roads were clear, but a part of me wished I had asked Jimin to drive.

Traffic in Saline was lighter than any town back in Colorado, and driving around was a breeze in comparison. At home, you were lucky if there was only one accident a day, but more times than not I had been stuck on the interstate for hours because of multiple car crashes. Michigan felt less hectic; safer. Not safe enough to let my guard down, but safe enough to listen to Jimin when he spoke.

“Taehyung is just that kind of guy.”

I nodded; eyes glued to the road. I wanted to say something and keep our conversation flowing, but the more cars around us the more I tuned him out. My eyes flickered between my rearview mirror, side mirrors, and windshield rapidly as I drove. Once we were out of Saline and on I-94, I loosened my grip on the wheel. We would not hit much traffic until we were closer to Detroit.

Jimin stayed quiet and looked out the window. I wanted to thank him for being so understanding, but I knew he would not want me to. I kept my thoughts to myself and focused on the road. Jimin began to hum an unfamiliar tune.

My hands were shaking when we pulled up to the restaurant. Traffic had gotten pretty bad coming into the city, but we had picked a good day to come out. Jimin hummed and sang underneath his breath for most of the car ride, and we had a few small sporadic conversations when I felt the knots in my stomach loosen for a few brief moments.

"It's been forever since I've come here," Jimin said to himself, going to unbuckle his seat belt. "It looks pretty filled up."

Bash was a sushi place across from Wayne State University's football field and was one Taehyung’s favorite restaurants. He bragged about how delicious their food was for weeks before finally wearing me down with the promise of picking up the tab. He made reservations for their omakase, or “chef’s choice,” and promised I would get his obsession.

When I talked to Megan about it, she had said it was an expensive meal, so I was going to try and force myself to enjoy it regardless of my own personal feelings. Jimin seemed to like it here, and we usually enjoyed a lot of the same foods, so it made me feel a bit better about things.

I had to park down the street and spotted Taehyung’s Mazda a few cars away. Instead of getting out, I took a few moments to gather my composure. Jimin sat beside me patiently. He had grown used to my traffic anxiety. We had driven together so many times now, and he had gotten a taste of the worst of it a handful of times.

He had only asked about it the first time we rode to the gym together, completely frazzled and unsure of himself as I hyperventilated in the driver's seat. My hands trembled violently as my palms sweat profusely, and I let myself shed a few tears once we were parked. He reached out, placing a hand on my back, and quietly asked me what was bothering me.

“Red light,” I managed to wheeze out. They were doing some construction on the main road and things started piling up. I had gotten stuck in the intersection for just a few seconds, but it was long enough to send me into a blind panic. “Anxiety. Sorry. Need a minute.”

He helped me calm down, calming down to help me through my panic attack. We played a game of I-Spy, Jimin picking out the most obvious shit and saying the most random things to point out in order to make me laugh. When I felt a little better, he got out of the car to help me get out. After that he kept quiet about my obvious driving discomforts, but stuck close just in case I needed the support, and always offered to drive.

“Ready?” He asked when I grabbed my phone out of the cup holder.

“Yeah.”

We walked inside and the hostess made light conversation while she walked us to the back. Taehyung's laugh could be heard from the other side of the room, and his bright blue hair and vibrant eyeshadow stuck out like a sore thumb in this place. Milo was dressed in all black, his arm draped around his fiancé's shoulder, and a smile on his face. Jungkook was beside him scrolling through his phone, but Darcy was nowhere in sight. Glancing at Jimin, he seemed exasperated.

“Trouble in paradise,” He murmured, leaning down so I could hear him. I had to imagine their relationship was very exhausting and took its toll on their friend group. I knew how much it sucked being caught between Tilly and Hobi back in the day. “Here we fucking go.”

Taehyung jumped out of the booth when he caught sight of us, his fluffy, white cropped top riding up, revealing even more of his tanned skin. The snowboarder wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled my hairline, showering me in compliments. Gold hoop earrings tapped my forehead, and his belly button ring was cold against my ribcage. He was happy to see me “dolled up” for once and forgave how ugly my shirt was since I looked “so cute.”

Milo gave me a slight wave, eyes never leaving Taehyung's bouncing body as he embraced Jimin, and Jungkook put his phone down to greet us. Darcy had gone to the bathroom and from the look on Milo’s face, Jimin’s was right about trouble in paradise. Whatever was going on, we were all about to fall witness. It made my stomach churn just thinking about it.

Our waitress brought a new pot of tea, asking us if we needed anything, before leaving with the promise of the first course coming out soon. Darcy almost slammed into the poor woman on her way back to our booth, her annoyed huff making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. When she sat down beside her boyfriend her entire body was rigged and face pulled together tightly. She did not spare us a glance as she sulked.

Darcy was a very beautiful girl and it made sense why Jungkook liked her so much. Tanned skin, green eyes, and black hair, the girl had one of those bodies most women would pay thousands of dollars for. Like Taehyung had said, she was a pleasant enough person, and we did not along well enough to hold a conversation, but there was no hiding the fact that Darcy was not a nice girl. In fact, I would venture to say she was very, very mean.

I saw it firsthand at Jimin’s birthday party. I had a moment where I felt myself panicking. Overwhelmed with all of the noise and people, I excused myself and called Andy to get my head back on straight. The women's restroom was tucked away in a small hallway and allowed me the space to shed a few tears. I was just starting to calm down, Andy's words of encouragement getting back to some sort of baseline, while I rubbed cold water on my neck. That was when I heard Jungkook on the other side of the door.

He was angry and when I told Andy I needed to go, I had every intention of going out there to talk to him, but another voice beat me to it. Darcy had been in a bad mood since she walked through the front door, her shitty attitude bringing down the party every time she opened her mouth. At first, I just brushed it off as an off night, something I could feel empathy towards, but then she opened her mouth and stopped those thoughts in their tracks.

The two of them were serial cheaters, and Jimin had alluded to that being their main issue when I asked about her attitude problem earlier that night. Eloise was the person who gave me the whole story and was not afraid to voice her dislike for the older girl. This was different from Milo, a guy who she clashed with due to their night and day personalities. Darcy had actively picked on and made fun of her growing up, and bullied her older sister while they were in school together.

Darcy, according to Eloise, started the back-and-forth cheating when they were in college. Instead of going their separate ways, something I doubt anyone would have blamed Jungkook for doing, he chose to get even. After fucking one of her sorority sisters, Jungkook made his way through the entire house within the span of three months. In retaliation, Darcy slept with a couple of guys from the NHL, something she still did to this day.

On the night of the party, she was still fuming over catching him with another woman a few days prior. Trapped in the bathroom and too afraid to let them know I could hear them; I suffered through five minutes of a couple’s quarrel I had no business being in the middle of. It was an eye opener for sure and made me avoid getting too close to either of them.

Darcy was very mean and spiteful, her words meant to cut him deeply with little care about how it would make him feel in the long run. She even brought up screwing one of his rivals to get back at him, something she had done on numerous occasions, and went as far as to compare the two men in bed. It helped to explain why Jungkook hated Jackson Wang so much.

Jungkook, despite how much I enjoyed him as an individual, was just as awful. He spent most of the argument defending his bad behavior by bringing up her own and took no accountability for his actions. He could have sex with all of Michigan and it would be justified because she cheated on him first. It was all very juvenile, and I tried my best to avoid them for the rest of the night.

“Bet they can’t go ten minutes without fighting,” Jimin mumbled in my ear.

I fought back a smile, leaning into his side. Physical touch was the swimmer’s love language and I had slowly grown accustomed to small touches here and there. So, it did not catch me off guard when his arm came around my shoulders, resting just above my head, hand gently brushing against my neck. The voice in my head often wished he would do it more often.

“She won’t start something before the food gets here,” I reasoned, stealing a look at the couple. Jungkook seemed fine, but from the look on Darcy’s face that might change soon. “I’ll say twenty.”

“What are we bargaining for?”

I laughed awkwardly, “Whatever you want.”

Taking a second to think, Jimin eyed the couple across the table. Taehyung and Milo were obviously extremely aware of the couple's awkward tension and tactfully ignored them, instead giggling about some inside joke. They were a very sweet pair. My weariness about Milo had dissipated over the last few weeks, but I could understand why he and Eloise could not get along.

Lou herself had admitted to being a bit of a stuck-up teenager back in the day, and Milo was the typical small-town stoner. They constantly butt heads when they were in high school, and just drifted apart with age. Taehyung and Jimin's friendship were the only reason they were in the same circle anymore, and the two just never spoke to avoid pressing buttons.

“I want to do something together,” Jimin finally said, I smiled, trying to ignore the snarky comments Darcy was making. The arguing was starting, and I felt my neck growing hot. Did they have to do this in public? “Get dinner or something.”

“We do that all the time,” I countered, half-heartedly paying attention to him.

“Denny’s doesn’t count," He mumbled.

The waitress finally came back with a large tray of sushi in her hand. That seemed to break up the argument momentarily, but Darcy did not seem pleased to be interrupted. Stuffing a large piece of ahi sashimi in my mouth, I sparked up a conversation with Taehyung to keep myself from having another meltdown. Beside him, Milo sent me a grateful look.

The rest of the table was silent, waiting for the fight to resume. Taehyung kept smiling painfully, but I could see the panic bubbling in his eyes, and for once I saw a small crack in his otherwise well-crafted facade.

“I didn’t mean just getting food,” Jimin finally continued when we hit a lull, and it took me a few seconds to remember what he was talking about. “I meant… going out.”

I looked at him, eyebrow raised. His cheeks were puffed with scallops and I wished we were alone. This was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of the others, especially if he was insinuating what I thought he was. I did not want to jump to conclusions, but I was sure he was asking me out on a date. Even if it made me feel jittery thinking about it, I had a difficult time finding the voice to say yes. Saying no felt just as impossible, though, and I wished he would have picked a better time to bring this up. Whatever the hell this was.

“What are you asking me?” I whispered, taking another piece of fish off my plate, sneaking a look at Taehyung and Milo.

They were too wrapped up in one another to being listening in on us. I did not even bother checking in with the other two. I knew for a fact they did not care about anybody else but themselves.

“You know,” He replied.

Dating was not off the table, and I was more than happy to indulge myself, but I was worried about crossing this invisible line I had drawn. What would people say if they found out? A coach and her trainee, and even worse, the older woman and her much younger man. I could see the headlines now and it made my palms sticky. That would not be a good look for either one of us, and I did not want our personal relationship to affect Jimin’s career.

Putting my chopsticks down, I leaned away from him. “Can we talk about this later?”

He nodded, meeting my eyes, and I was relieved to see he was not upset. I had seen him angry a few times now, and he wore it on his sleeve with pride. Jimin was not afraid of his emotions, something I found extremely attractive, and it was nice that all I could see right now was understanding. Whatever happened he would hear me out, and I had to hope he would be understanding. I just had to be sure I did not fuck anything up.

Across the table the bickering had started again. Our waitress brought out the rest of our meal, sans desert, and seemed happy we were enjoying the food. She eyed Darcy wearily and left our table in a hurry. I felt horrible for the wait staff who had come to our table. They were all getting the nastiest looks from the dark haired beauty.

“Do we really have to do this now?” Jungkook sighed, running a hand through his hair roughly. His face was red and expression tight. “In front of my friends, dude? Are you serious?”

I cleared my throat, grabbed my tea and took a long sip before sinking into the booth and praying no one could see me. Jimin’s arm dropped, and he squeezed my shoulder in comfort. I let myself melt under his touch. It always felt nice when his hands were on me, his warmth burning hot like a furnace even in below freezing temperatures. Taehyung’s eyes were bulging out of his head now, his bottom lip trembling as he tried his best to keep the conversation between the four of us light. He had stopped trying to include the other two.

“You two seem close,” He gritted, fakeness coming from him that I had never encountered before. “Glad you were able to sort that out.”

I looked over at Jimin and saw his cheeks had gone pink. So, Taehyung knew something I didn’t. It would make sense for the childhood best friend to get the scoop before the chick he’s known for two months, I had definitely vented to my friends on more than one occasion, and my curiosity was peaked.

“I'm working on it,” Jimin replied, taking a big gulp of water. “Thanks, Tae," He breathed, rolling his eyes.

I stifled a laugh. He was so cute when he was embarrassed. I made a mental note to ask Tae to explain what he meant when we had a chance to get lunch. I had a feeling the snowboarder would be more than happy to divulge that little piece of information.

“Talking about me to your friends?” I teased, trying my best to ignore the ever-growing argument across from me. The butterflies in my stomach were a helpful distraction. “Good things, I hope.”

He cracked a smile, face and neck flushed. “The best things.”

Such a flirt.

I bit my lip and looked away. Eating was a nice way to interrupt the electricity that was enveloping us, and I gorged myself on octopus and tuna. Whatever the hell these dishes were, I had to admit the sushi here was the best I had ever had. I would never doubt a recommendation from Taehyung again.

The conversation started flowing easily after that. Jungkook and Darcy were at a stalemate and were relatively quiet on their side of the booth. With the atmosphere lightening, Milo felt good enough to start telling us his latest work stories. He was a firefighter along with all three of his brothers. His father was promoted to chief about five years ago but was coming up to his retirement. The only one of his siblings to avoid the fireman fate was his baby sister, but had still managed to find a job at the station.

"You guys must be close," I laughed in disbelief.

“It’s the family business,” He joked. "Rosie is our new EMT."

Taehyung spoke excitedly about his upcoming competitions and was really hopeful he would win enough to qualify for the Olympics this year. Milo and Jimin both reassured him multiple times while I tried my best to keep up with everything he was talking about. I had very little knowledge of snowboarding, so I was having to constantly interrupt and ask for clarification. No one seemed to mind, and eventually Jungkook joined in to talk about his upcoming hockey games.

The Red Wings were having a good year, and he was proud of his team for working as hard as they did. As a goalie, he did not do a lot of skating, but his job was one of the hardest on the team. From what I knew after watching a few games on tv with Jimin's family, Jungkook was one of the best goalies in the NHL who was highly sought after. He had been offered millions to transfer to the New York Rangers, but out of loyalty he turned them down.

“I’ll take you to a few matches if you want,” Jimin offered. “Kook can get us tickets whenever.”

I smiled, “That sounds like fun.”

“Milo and I go all of the time so we can sit together,” Taehyung interjected, his shoulders relaxed for the first time since we got here.

Darcy was quiet and stayed on her phone. Jungkook was pretending she was not here, and it helped keep the arguing from starting again. I was not sure how long the truce would last, but I hoped they could hold it together long enough for us to finish eating.

“So Y/N,” Milo mused, taking a piece of fish from Taehyung’s plate. “Have you ever thought about competing again?”

I laughed nervously, “For a time, maybe. My injuries make it hard for me to swim the way I used to so I decided to keep it as a hobby.”

It was not a complete lie, but I knew I might be able to get back into competitions if I put in the time and effort. I hated the thought of being back in the spotlight, cameras shoved in my face, only to lose and give them more to talk about. I was still recovering from the trauma they inflicted on me after the accident. My leg injuries just gave me the perfect excuse to keep my distance.

He nodded, eyebrows knitted, “I didn’t know you had medical leave. What happened?”

Jimin tensed up beside me.

“I was in a car accident,” I replied. Talking about what happened did not bother me as much as it used to, and Milo seemed genuinely interested in the answer. “I had to get a full knee replacement on my left side, and a full hip replacement. I should have lost my leg, but the doctor on staff recognized me and brought up my profession.”

Milo whistled, giving me a sympathetic look. “Leg? You could have died.”

“Well,” I breathed, finishing off my last piece of fish. “I pulled through though, so it wasn’t all bad.” I fiddled with my shirt, pretending to smooth it down as I played it cool. "Anyway, I have nerve damage in my leg that makes me get really horrible cramps and twitching if I overwork my muscles. It sucks but coaching is really fun, so I can't complain."

Blatantly lying wasn't something I did often, but I truly hated reliving the months of physical therapy. Unable to walk or talk, I was stuck in that hospital bed for weeks and then got sent home to watch my closest friends wait on me hand-and-foot. When I wasn’t in physical therapy, I was with my SLP. When I wasn’t with her then I was in bed, crying into my pillow, and wishing I had never woken up. It was an extremely dark time in my life, one filled with chronic pain and overwhelming depression, and talking about it made me emotional.

“Anyway,” Taehyung sent his fiancé a pointed look. “Kookie’s next home game is in two weeks.”

Happy to be out of the spotlight, I began to talk with Jimin about changing our schedule around so we could attend the game. Taehyung was excited to get me some Red Wing merchandise, and Jungkook quickly began to boast about his prowess on the ice. Darcy scoffed beside him and I felt the group tense up.

“You’re so cocky, Ian,” She taunted, eyes glued to her phone. “I heard Avalanche was doing really well this season.”

I knew from the group chat that the Red Wings and the Colorado Avalanche had a long-standing rivalry. It had started all the way back in the mid-90’s and reached its peak in 2002. While the intensity had dissipated over the years, it had recently spiked up again due to Jungkook and Jackson Wang’s ongoing feud. The only reason Darcy would bring that up would be to piss her boyfriend off.

“Hm,” Jungkook smirked, chuckling darkly. “Who told you that?”

I held my breath, already guessing where this was going. The tension from earlier was thicker than ever as we fell silent. Darcy put her phone on the table, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and looked Jungkook in the face as she replied.

“Jackson.”

It was dead silent for a few seconds. Then, without waiting for a response, Darcy kept digging the knife in and twisting. She called him ugly, said he sucked in bed, brought up all of the ways Jackson was better than he was, and went as far as to bring up his father's affair. Jungkook could not get a word in as her silky voice dropped lower and lower, words cutting deeper and deeper, and eyes growing brighter as she watched his expression fall. I learned something tonight. Darcy enjoyed hurting Jungkook.

"Why are you doing this, dude?" Jungkook's voice was thick with emotion. "You're acting like a fucking child. It's embarrassing."

“Holy shit,” Milo groaned as their voices got louder. “Are they being forreal right now?”

“Babe,” Taehyung scolded, the forced smile still plastered on his face. “Language.”

“You weren’t embarrassed when you fucked that girl” Darcy screamed and I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably. “Why should I feel bad about airing out my dirty laundry? Everyone here knows how much of a whore I am anyway, isn’t that right, Ian?”

“Keep your voice down,” Jungkook hissed, eyes glassy. “You’re causing a scene.”

Taehyung and Milo looked as mortified as I felt, both of them staring at Darcy in horror. The entire restaurant had gone silent. Eyes were glued to our table as they argued. She shouted about him getting his dick sucked in their bed, and Jungkook was just angry she was acting like this in public. It was Jimin’s birthday all over again only this time they knew people were watching and did not care. Taehyung’s smile was finally gone and replaced by trembling lips and fidgeting hands.

“Take that shit outside,” Jimin cut in, voice cold and hard. Darcy glared daggers in our direction. “You’re going to get us kicked out.”

Darcy opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by the waitress coming back and demanding our party leave. Taehyung began to apologize profusely while Darcy stormed out of the restaurant, bumping into numerous people roughly without looking back. Jungkook was hot on her heels, breathing heavily, and eyes glossed over with unshed tears. She shouted that Jackson was outside and for Jungkook to go fuck himself. Jungkook didn’t reply but I knew he was not expecting the other man to be here. I sure the fuck wasn't.

An arm wrapped around my shoulders, “Hey, calm down. Breathe.”

I had not realized I had been holding my breath. Turning my head, I was taken aback by how close Jimin was. Our noses brushed together, his breath hot against my cheek, and I jerked away, heart racing. The butterflies were swarming now, and a shiver went down my spine. His arm dropped and I immediately missed its warmth. Flustered, I scooted out of the booth and kept my head hung low. I was so embarrassed, and I could hear Taehyung’s voice starting to wobble as he handed over some cash to the waitress for the trouble. No one was going home happy tonight.

“I’m so fucking pissed off,” Jimin grunted, keeping in step with me. Milo was attempting to get a now hysterical Taehyung calmed as they followed behind us. “I don’t know why Tae invites the two of them anywhere.”

I shook my head, “It’s not his fault. She needs to get some self-control, though. That was so rude and uncalled for, and for what?"

“They both owe him a fucking apology,” He sighed harshly.

The guests of honor were already in a very heated screaming match when we finally made it outside. Whatever had been brewing inside had clearly reached its peak, and neither one of them was willing to back down. Jimin’s arm was back around my shoulders as he tried his best to shelter me from the strong winds that were kicking up. Looking at Darcy and Jungkook all I could see were my parents and it caused me great discomfort. Maybe I should try to call my dad again and make sure he was alright? He rarely answered but at least it would cut some of the edge off of my anxiety.

“Why are you acting like this?” Jungkook shouted, pulling at his hair. “What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?”

“You!” Darcy shrieked. “You! You! YOU! You’re the problem. This is all your fault!”

Jungkook called her a crazy bitch and Darcy slapped him across the face before stomping off. A sleek red convertible was waiting for her on the curb, a well-groomed man behind the steering wheel. He smiled and waved at Jungkook before speeding off, Darcy already attaching her lips to his neck and not sparing any of us a second glance.

“What the fuck!” Taehyung shouted, sobbing and clinging to Milo.

I was surprised he was able to hold himself back for that long. He seemed hellbent on strangling Jungkook as soon as he was able. I stepped to the side watching a man I had never seen upset shove Jungkook backwards. Any resemblance of a smile was gone now, replaced with a snot-nosed, red eyed man with bared teeth. Jungkook stumbled, barely keeping his footing before shoving the other man back. Milo was quick to defend his fiancé, pushing Jungkook so hard he stumbled, fell on his ass, and cried out in pain.

Jimin’s arm gripped me tighter as he stared at the scene unfold in silence. His clenched jaw, however, told me how angry he was. I briefly wondered what he would be doing if he was not so focused on keeping me warm.

“That was so fucked up,” Taehyung cried, wiping his face roughly. “I told you both to keep that shit at home or don’t come!”

“She started it! It’s not my fault-”

“Dude,” Milo shook his head, wrapping his arms around Taehyung. “It doesn’t fucking matter. That’s your girl.”

As the three of them argued, I tried to decipher the look on Jimin’s face. He was angry, that was very apparent, and I felt my own anger finally start to rise. He had been dealing with so much shit and on his first night out in ages this happens? It was unfair and ridiculous, my frustration over the entire situation making me want to go over and push Jungkook around, too. However, I knew that was not the way to handle this. Truth was, he was not the only person to blame for how badly the night had ended. Darcy was the main instigator.

“Are you okay?” I asked Jimin, stepping away from his tight embrace. His arm was still around my shoulders with no sign of moving. “I’m sorry everything got so shitty.”

He nodded, face softening when he looked at me. “Just worried about Taehyung. He was really excited about tonight.”

The yelling was finally starting to calm down and I was happy that they were talking things out. I did not think I could handle the screaming for any longer. I had been a bundle of nerves since I left my house, and my fingers trembled at my sides. I could hear my mother’s voice echoing in my head, though I was positive it was distorted after so many years. Sometimes when her and dad fought, she would find me hiding in my closet and pull me out, hands leaving my skin tender from the harsh grip she had on my arms, before telling me to clean up the broken dishes from off the floor.

“Come here you little shit!”

She hated me; hated being a mother. I could remember how much I wished she would hold me like the other kids' moms held them but was too afraid to ask. One time I drew a picture of her at school and she never even looked at it. Instead, she smoked her cigarettes at the dinner table and watched Law and Order. If I really thought about it, she threw the drawing away. It was too dirty. Just like I was too dirty.

Mom had germaphobia and considered me one of the dirtiest things she had ever seen. I was not allowed in their bedroom because of it. Dad went along with it like he did everything else. When he wasn’t drinking, he was sleeping or in the garage. I hoped he was doing okay. Danielle seemed to be just as controlling as mom had been.

“Where’d you go?”

I startled, whipping around to find Jimin staring at me. His expression was gentle and calm, and I was suddenly aware of the harsh chill nipping at my wet cheeks. I had not noticed I was starting to cry. Strange. It had been a long time since those memories had been brought up.

“Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing my arm. “You looked lost.”

I nodded, quickly reaching up to pat the tears away. It was a good thing my mascara was smudge proof or else I might look even more pathetic. I am 31 now and it felt stupid to cry over things so far in the past. Things I had not had to deal with in well over 20 years. Dr.Wolfe would disagree with me, but she wasn't here.

“Yeah,” I nodded, voice thick. “Just zoned out for a second. Eyes must have dried out.”

It was a bad lie, but a lie he accepted. Squeezing my arm one last time, he finally moved away to give me a bit of breathing room. That was another thing that I always appreciated about the guy. He never overstayed his welcome, even if he wanted to. Taking a second to compose myself, I mindlessly fixed my hair and adjusted my clothes. Nervous habit.

“I think everyone’s heading home for the night,” Jimin said, nodding his head toward the other three men. “They seem cool. You ready to leave?”

I shrugged, “If you are.”

He nodded and walked over to the ground. I gave myself another moment to gather my thoughts. The worst of it was over and I doubted those memories would make themselves known again. With the screaming over it would not take long for my head to get itself straightened out. I might ask Jimin to drive us back, though. I was exhausted, and frankly, I did not think we would be safe if I was behind the wheel. Nothing worse than an anxious driver.

Jungkook was ashamed of their behavior tonight, and when I joined the others, he was quick to throw a million apologies in my direction. I accepted them all easily but knew it would take me a few days to fully forgive him. Tonight was a lot. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung privately and ask him not to invite the couple out with us. If I never had to see Darcy again it would make my stay that much easier.

“I think we’re going to go home,” Milo said once Jungkook walked away. He was planning on calling an Uber so Tae could have a bit of space. “My little flower is burned out for the night.”

I smiled sadly, “Are you sure? We can always try something else.”

Taehyung’s head snapped in my direction and I wanted to scoop him up in my arms. His face was puffy from crying and eyes still misty. He was quick to nod his head and reached out to take hold of my hands.

“You still want to hang out with me?” He whimpered.

I had only said it to cheer him up not thinking that he would actually go for the idea. I had never seen him so distraught before and Milo seemed convinced that he was over having fun. Stealing a look at the blonde, he gave me a grateful smile but otherwise kept a watchful eye on Taehyung.

“Of course I do,” I finally replied, squeezing his large hands. “Tonight wasn’t your fault.”

His lower lip started to wobble again and next thing I knew I was in a very tight, warm hug. Taehyung cried into the crook of my neck. He was worried I would not like him anymore because of the fight. I awkwardly hugged him back, hoping my calm reassurances would soothe him. We really needed to get from outside the front of this restaurant before they called the cops.

“It’s alright,” I said, trying to gently remove his arms from my waist. “We’re still friends, I promise.”

After another minute of crying, Taehyung was back in Milo’s arms. His face was red, and his nose was running, but the sobs had stopped. Jimin placed a hand on my lower back and started to bounce a few ideas off of Milo. It was late, but from the sound of things, our get together was not over. I could not say for certain if this was a good thing or not, I did need to have that talk with Jimin. If we were out too late there was no way for me to promise I would not pass out in the car.

“Uh,” Jimin thought for a second. “If we’re still hungry there’s Pie Sci and Woodbridge is right down the street. There's also that park a few blocks away."

I shrugged, “Whatever’s the best?” Looking at Taehyung, I made sure that he was feeling well enough to hang out. “I won’t be upset if you want to go home. It was a rough night for all of us.”

He sniffled and nodded. “I’m just really tired.”

Jimin and I said our goodbyes and I promised the blue haired boy I would call him in the morning to set up another meet up. He called it a group date, something neither Jimin nor I disagreed with, but it did make me feel queasy. Depending on how our conversation goes, we may never spend time together outside of training. I felt like I was going to vomit.

“Let me drive?” Jimin murmured as we parted ways with the couple.

I nodded, digging in my purse to find them. “Mind reader, I swear. Get out of my head, kid.”

He snickered, “Who says you weren’t in mine, granny”

The queasiness dissipated and I felt like I could breathe a little bit easier now. Being alone with Jimin had never felt this nerve wracking before, not even the first time we met, and it was hard to explain all of the thoughts and feelings going through my head. We were finally having the talk, but I had never imagined it going this way. Handing him the keys, I elbowed him in the ribs.

“Whoops,” I mocked. “You know me and my bad eyesight, kiddo.”

“Watch it,” He hissed, rubbing the spot. “Don’t want you breaking anything. You know you have frail bones.”

I laughed, “Don’t make me give you a knuckle sandwich, punk.”

Sliding into the passenger seat felt less daunting after the light hearted exchange. Still, my blood was pumping as Jimin clicked his seatbelt in place. I had no idea when the conversation would shift into murkier waters, but I needed to start thinking about what to say to him.

Denying my feelings would only make things worse, and I did not think the younger man would believe me. In fact, he would be offended that I thought he was dumb enough to get bamboozled in the first place. Lying did not seem like the right call anyway. My feelings were not something to feel ashamed about, but they were very frightening.

“When is later?”

I gasped, startled out of my thoughts. We had been driving for over ten minutes already. Time seemed to slip by when I was lost in my own head. Jimin apologized for scaring me but repeated the question once I reassured him that I was fine.

“Now,” I mumbled. “I guess later is now.”

Turning on the blinker, Jimin switched lanes smoothly. He was probably the best driver that I knew and always made sure to keep my little quirks in mind during our rides. He had even gotten used to leaving the radio off when I was around, something that I appreciated more than words could ever say. Recognizing that I was stalling, I cleared my throat and tried my best to get my jumbled thoughts across.

“As much as I would like to go on that date,” I started, voice weak, “I’m just a bit concerned with how that might affect our ability to work together.”

There we go, I thought to myself mentally patting myself on the back. That was not as hard as I thought it would be. Leaving out a few details would not hurt anybody, and it was the main cause of concern for me. My age was definitely up there, but I doubted Jimin would understand my perspective. To him I was just older, but to the rest of the world I was this cougar on the prowl for young men to help me relive my glory days. Even my own friends thought it was funny to make fun of the age gap.

“Is it only because of that?” Jimin pressed, his voice telling me that he was still reacting positively to whatever was coming out of my mouth. I was refusing to look at him, fearful that he would see through me. “Or is there something else bothering you?”

“W-w-well-” I stammered, “There is the media frenzy to think about. Sejin is already dealing with the press and your ‘out of character’ seclusion this season. Then there’s the age gap. I just-” I struggled to find the right words. Having let my insecurity slip out, I lost my flow and scrambled to get back on track. “Look, I haven’t done this whole dating thing in a really long time, and I don’t want that to get in the way of being a good coach. Ozzie put me in charge of you, and my reputation is on the line.”

I could hear my heart beating in my ears. Mouth dry and palms sweaty, I forced myself to look out of the window as I spoke. Anxiety had been something I dealt with for as long as I could remember, and it only got worse the older I got. My hands and fingers trembled in my lap as I tried to steady my breathing.

In all of the dreams I had about Jimin, and there had been quite a few at this point, this moment had never felt so real and raw. We were always in these picture perfect pieces of heaven, sunshine beaming down on us, and the words I desperately wanted to say fell from my lips with ease. It was simple and sweet, and yet profound and beautiful. I could wax poetics and put myself thoughts together so eloquently he had no choice but to say yes to me.

Reality was different. Here I was stumbling over my sentences and stuttering my way through words. Instead of taking his hand with mine, I was fidgeting with shaking fingers and desperately hoping he could not see just how uncomfortable I was. I knew he did. He always noticed. My heart was racing so fast I was afraid it would burst. Had he turned the heart up? It was boiling.

“I just want to know how you feel about me.”

“Hm?” I squeaked, unable to form any real words. My mouth was too dry.

“I’ve thought about all of the same shit,” Jimin continued, voice as smooth and calming as ever. “I don’t care about any of that. All I want to know is how you feel about me.”

“You know,” I replied, wheezing. Talking felt impossible. “You know.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

Taking in a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes shut and began the mental countdown. My therapist taught me the technique years ago and I always found it to be helpful. I did this a few times until I felt calm enough to open my eyes.

“Are you alright?” Jimin asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, finally feeling my heart rate slowing. “A little anxious.”

“Don’t be,” He placed a hand on my knee. “It’s just me.”

And he was right. It was just Jimin and I in my car, but that was also the reason I felt so suffocated. There was nowhere to run or hide in here, and if things went south I was stuck with him for half an hour. Trying not to let those pessimistic thoughts send me back into a panic, I began to mentally point out things in my car.

Air freshener. It's green. It smells like pine and lemons. I want a new scent. Jimin likes to buy this coconut and mango one that smells like candy. I will buy one like his. I love the smell.

I let out a heavy breath. Everything was fine. He was not upset. He just wanted to know how I felt about him. Nothing more nothing less. My heart was settling, and my fingers were no longer shaking.

“I like you,” I choked out, placing my hand over his. “But you already knew that.”

He gently laughed, flipping his hand up to intertwine our fingers.

“Yeah, you’re a terrible actress.”

I groaned, leaning my head against the window. As much as I tried kidding myself, there was absolutely no way he did not see the way I looked at him. I always knew when his flirting took on a more serious edge, like when he called me beautiful after seeing the scar on my leg for the first time, so it should not have been surprising that he picked up on a thing or two. Still, it did not make it any less embarrassing.

“How long have you known?” I asked, peeking at him through my lashes.

“I mean, I had a feeling when you first got to town, but I wasn’t completely sure until that first training day.”

He laughed at my embarrassed groan, holding my hand tighter. I knew I wasn't subtle enough. Poker face champion, my ass.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” He cooed. “You’ve been my dream girl since I was, like, 15.”

“That's not helping the age gap thing,” I tittered as I played with his fingers. Then, because I could not help myself. “Dream girl, huh?”

Picking up on the teasing tone in my voice, Jimin chortled.

“Okay, big head. Calm down.”

“Big head?” I guffawed, pulling my hand out of his grasp. “Who are you calling big head, shortstop?”

“You, big head,” Taking back my hand, Jimin pinned it down and kept a tight grip. “No take backs.”

I always loved it when Jimin was in a good mood. He was so playful and full of energy, and all signs of those dark days were in the deepest parts of his mind. It was impossible to keep myself from playing along which only served to egg him on.

“You never said yes or no.”

“Yes or no to what?” I questioned.

Jimin started rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

“To that date.”

Saying yes felt wrong, but saying no felt impossible. No matter what I said someone would be upset, and I had to decide who that would be: Jimin or America? I turned my own hand around this time and put my fingers through his. They fit together awkwardly, his hands just a bit too large, but I still found it perfect all the same.

“Do you have any ideas?”

His shiteating grin was contagious and a burst of butterflies began to flutter in my stomach. Hands clasped, Jimin started to list off all of the places we could go, but I was not fully listening. I had a date with this guy. I was going on a date with my trainee.

“What do you think?”

I blinked rapidly, hoping he could not tell that I had zoned out.

“You pick,” I breathed. “Surprise me.”

The rest of the drive back home was spent making small talk and discussing food preferences. Jimin was a dinner and a movie kind of guy, while I would rather do some sort of activity. What type of conversation could we have in a theater? Jimin seemed excited to plan out a fun night and I was just happy he was this into me. The feeling was most definitely mutual.

“Do you mind if I go to my house tonight? Mom needs some space and I know my dad is tired of having me breathing down their necks.”

I had yet to go over to his house. The days that we drove together were when he spent the evening with his parents. When Na-yeon and I talked about it, she was more upfront about her health situation than the men of the house. James spent most of his time taking care of his wife and their son enjoyed giving him a break every now and then. James would go on a fishing trip with his friends while Jimin stayed back to keep an eye on his mother.

“Is it closer to town?” I asked, nibbling on my lower lip.

I had yet to drive through downtown Ann Arbor. The Park house, and by proxy the Anderson’s, was a thirty minute drive from the bustling city. Nestled in the smaller town of Saline going towards Manchester, I had rarely had to leave the small town. This trip to Detroit was the farthest I had gone since arriving in Michigan, but I had a feeling the traffic in downtown Ann Arbor would be a bit much for me to drive through alone.

“Yeah,” I felt even more nervous by his nonchalant tone. “I used to live downtown, but I got tired of the noise. I bought my house in Eberwhite last summer, so there’s a little less foot traffic.”

“How’s the drive back to Saline?” Even I could hear the hesitation in my voice.

“Less than twenty,” Rubbing the back of my hand, his voice took on a sweeter tone. “We don’t have to. My truck’s at my parent’s place anyway.”

“Maybe some other time?” I forced myself to laugh, hoping to make the awkward tension leave. “Preferably when it’s not dark outside.”

I relaxed into my seat once I started seeing familiar landmarks. Saline was a very small town with a little over 2,000 residents, but downtown still had a way of attracting a relatively large crowd. Stoney Creek Brewery was packed and Jimin pointed out Sam’s car as we pass by.

“Looks like he came out with Otis and Skye,” He murmured.

Otis was another personal trainer at the gym, and Skye was responsible for marketing. They had been going out for a while now and made plan to move to Ann Arbor once Otis graduated from school. He was getting his masters in movement science at the University of Michigan. They had planned on moving out there when he graduated last year, but neither of them could find a job that could pay their bills. Otis was hoping the master’s would give him a competitive edge while Skye saved up enough money to start her own advertising firm.

“Think Gigi is with them?” I wondered.

“Probably not. She’s busy studying for an exam. I saw that she requested time off tomorrow and the day after, so I don’t think she has the time to go out for drinks.”

Giselle was getting her bachelor’s in dental hygiene at UM, and everytime I spoke to her she was swamped with work. I had no idea she needed to request time off, though. Must be an intense program.

“Did you ever go to college?” I asked Jimin.

He nodded, “I got my bachelor’s in psychology.”

Well, I had not been expecting that.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but I never went back to get my master’s,” We turned onto the long road that led to his parent’s house. “I might after the Olympics.”

It was interesting to hear about his goals post-swimming. I never had those. My entire life was going to be swimming, and then, once I could no longer compete, I was opening my own swim school. After a couple of years of coaching under my belt, the plan was to start training professional athletes until I could join the Olympic coaching team. The accident was a very traumatic and eye-opening experience for me, so most of those plans ended up getting changed and modified over the years.

“What about you?” Jimin asked, pulling up to the curb.

“I went through an accelerated program at UCCS. Just graduated with my Masters in Athletic Training back in April.”

Neither one of us seemed to be ready to break the bubble we created. Even if we were just talking about school, it felt too intimate to leave. Holding hands in my car was new and I was worried if I opened the car door all of this would turn out to be a dream. The date, the confession; all of it.

“I should get going,” Jimin sighed, still not moving his hand from mine. “It’s late and I have to drive home.”

I was the first one to move away. He was right. It was almost midnight and I had a really difficult time tonight. All of that yelling really took a toll on me. Jimin did not move until he heard the click of my seatbelt unfastening.

“See you tomorrow?” He asked when I rounded the car. Getting out of the car, he held the door open as I slid inside. “I know we were out later than we thought we’d be.”

I nodded, “We can have a late morning. 8:30 instead of 6.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

He closed my car door and jogged to his truck. It was parked in the driveway today. I pressed the button to roll my window down.

“Drive safe!” I called out.

Looking over his shoulder, Jimin grinned and threw a hand up. I watched him climb into Fiona and tried to keep myself from worrying too much. It was so dark outside and he could be exhausted behind the wheel. Who knows what could happen to him.

He caught me staring and waved at me again. I returned it with a small smile. The truck stopped for a second and his phone was his hand. My cell phone vibrated in the cupholder.

Jimin: I’ll be okay

Jimin: Text you when I get home, k?

Looking back at the truck, I found him already looking at me. I nodded my response. He smiled at me again, waved, before finally backing out of the driveway. I did not move until I could no longer see his truck in my rearview. My phone buzzed one more time.

Jimin: At the stop sign on Woodland and Ann Arbor-Saline

Jimin: Go home. I’m here. I’m fine.

I hesitated texting him back when I knew he was driving, but decided that I would just have to trust he would not open it until it was safe.

Me: Get out of my head, kid

Finally putting my car in drive, I threw my phone back in its spot and made the ten minute drive down the road to the Anderson house. All of the lights were off when I pulled up and I was as quiet as a mouse walking to the backyard.

I was beyond tired but still needed to get my nighttime routine done. Stripping out of my clothes, I turned on the shower and took off my makeup. Tonight wasn’t a wash night, so I was not in the shower for long. I heard my phone vibrating as I put on lotion and I quickly threw on a night shirt and went to my bedroom.

Jimin: Who says you aren’t in mine, meemaw

Jimin: I’m home now so you can get some sleep

Jimin: Night, geezer

I snorted. That was a new one. Crawling into bed, I got comfortable under my blankets and thought about a good comeback.

Me: Thank you

Me: Geezer? That’s such an geriatric thing to say, you whippersnapper

Jimin: LOL night 🫰🏼

Me: Night 🌜

I quick sent Taehyung a text to make sure he and Milo go home safely before putting my phone on the charger. Jungkook sent a text to our group chat an hour ago to let us know he was in his apartment back in Detroit. He was in Ann Arbor so often since Darcy lived out here, but he had bought a multi-million dollar home in Corktown when was first signed to the Red Wings in 2019. Milo was the one to reply to my text, signing his name at the bottom, since Taehyung passed out in the car on their way back home.

I took my medications and started up a game of solitaire while I waited for them to kick in. My psychologist had sent me to Michigan with a three month supply. I was planning my first trip back next week so I could see the boys in time for their first big competition of the season. While I was in town, I would pick up another three month supply. We were making the arrangements work as best as we could, and I was lucky I had a large group of people willing to support me during this transition.

Finally I felt the sleeping pills kicking in and I went to my white noise app. I hated falling asleep in silence and Emery had suggested the app while we were in a session. I paid for a yearly subscription and never regretted the fifty bucks. It had been a huge help in lulling me to bed.

Lights out and blankets wrapped snugly around my body, I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened. Jimin liked me back, asked me on a date, and told all of his friends about his infatuation with me before I even realized something else was going on. I was his dream girl. That put a lazy smile on my face. Then, I could no longer think about anything and was plunged into a dreamless sleep.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae @adventures-in-bookland

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softshrimpy · 6 months

Text

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Step 16: Vulnerability

Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

It's been a rough two weeks and I craved Larissa comfort. So enjoy! 🦐✨

Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond @gela123 @i-like-reading @hopelessly-sapphic @alder-saan @im-a-carnivorous-plant @weemssapphic @barbarasstar

(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)

Chapter 15

Cross Posted on AO3 Here

HWTAHP Masterlist

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Larissa was busy. Which was fine! And understandable considering all the antics Wednesday has been up to recently. Her dedication to finding the monster that had attacked you was sweet, a little insane, but sweet. However, the way in which she was trying to find it was…unorthodox to say the least.

She had asked you almost a hundred different questions about the night you were attacked, not that you remembered much of use anyway. All you could remember was that you were in the woods (how far from the school you didn’t know), you had been crying so hard you hadn’t heard anything and that Marilyn had showed up very shortly after you were attacked…

Which was bothering you for two reasons. One was that if she had been close enough to be there right after you were attacked, why didn’t the monster attack her? Wednesday had hypothesized(her term not yours) that the monster had probably gotten spooked by a second person. It still didn’t sit right with you though.

And the second reason was that you had barely seen Marilyn since you were brought back to Nevermore. She had popped in briefly when you were unpacking to say hi and say she was glad you were doing better and then all but disappeared off the face of the planet. You know the two of you weren’t all that close but you honestly thought you’d at least see her around a bit.

You knew her and Larissa were close, she had told you about the long chats over many glasses of wine and their morning coffees together. And the two of them hadn’t stopped hanging out, not until Larissa went into full crisis(Wednesday) management mode. And it’s not like you spent all your time holes up in your room (anymore, not that Vlad allowed it in the first place). And with all the fucking walking around the Nevermore campus you were doing you really did not understand why you hadn’t seen her at least once.

So you decided you would try and find her today. Partially because, yes, you were lonely. But also because you wanted to thank her properly for saving your life. So you set out to find the funky lil redhead, vowing to yourself that you would find her before the end of the day.

Surprisingly she was in the first place you checked; the greenhouse. This did make you wonder if you were imagining her avoiding you. She was on the phone when you entered. She seemed to be in the middle of a heated argument with someone, hand gesturing wildly as she whisper-yelled at whoever it was she was speaking with. You stood awkwardly at the door, trying to figure out if you should stay or go.

Before you can make a decision the phone call is over and she's angrily sighing and shaking her head. You knock on the closed door behind you, hoping to announce your presence properly before stepping further into the greenhouse. At the sound she turns, rather swiftly. The look on her face goes from proper anger to shock, then to something you can’t name before swinging back around to anger again. You don’t even have a moment to open your mouth before she storms over to you, poking your chest with her finger.

“You! You just- you had to- and now I- UGH!” She groans, tears gathering in her eyes.

“Marilyn…?” You mumble, staring at her, confused as fuck.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t know why I-“ she tries, stopping when her voice cracks.

She looks moments away from bursting into full-blown sobs. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears and her lower lip is trembling. She opens her mouth to speak again but you wrap your arms around her, enveloping the small woman in a hug. She does burst into tears then, hugging you back while burying her face in your neck. You pat her back, doing your best to soothe her.

She calms eventually, her cries dissolving into the occasional hiccup. She takes a step back from you, wiping at her eyes and letting out a shaky breath.

“Sorry..” she smiles, “I don’t-you shouldn’t have had to deal with that I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. Are you okay though?” You ask.

She nods and sniffs, shooting you what you assume is meant to be a reassuring smile. You smile back at her, squeezing her shoulders.

“I’m fine, I mean I will be fine. Sorry. Is there- can I do anything for you?” She offers.

“I actually just uh wanted to chat to you. And thank you properly for you know saving my life and all.”

“Really you shouldn’t thank me. It was the least I could do…” her face falls for a second before she smiles, “Is there anything else? Sorry, I’ve got uhm-I have to head into town to pick up a plant delivery.”

“Oh…oh no. It’s- no it’s cool! I’ll just- I’ll leave you to it then,” you murmur.

You say your goodbyes, feeling a bit better when Marilyn suggests you get coffee sometime. When you leave the greenhouse you stand dumbly for a bit, trying to figure out what to do now. You figure it would be best to go back to your room. Your mood can’t get that much worse just by vibing in your room.

———

Apparently, it could get worse. Much worse.

As it turns out dissociating in your room actually made you feel so much worse. You had ended up staring blankly at the really nice window you had while thinking back on all the ways life had gotten so fucked in the last few weeks. And then you ended up thinking about how your life had been fucked up the whole time. Which was a super fun little exercise to be doing before a physio session with Vlad.

And really Vlad was so sweet, really. So kind. However you felt like utter shit and he was making you do all these stupid, painful stretches that were making your scars and body ache. Which when combined with your already shit mental state leads to a rather terrible outburst.

“Come on kiddo just a few more of these,” he encourages you.

“I can’t.” You huff, wincing at the pain in your stomach.

“Sure you can kiddo. It’s just three more you got this-“

“No I fucking don’t! So can you just fucking let me breathe?!” You yell.

“Alright, let’s take a breath then-“

“No that’s not going to fucking help! Nothing is going to fucking help because things are just fucking fucked!” You end up kicking the nearest thing which just so happens to be a wall.

Which is how you end up sitting in the infirmary with a fucked foot and a dent in the wall you had taken your frustration out on. Turns out the vampire strength did not save your bones from being obliterated by concrete. The nurse had been very sweet, wrapping your foot and sending you on your way. Vlad had helped you back to your room, not asking any questions and leaving you with a simple ‘call if you need anything.’

And so you lay on your bed, frustrated and angry and hurt. You feel tears welling up in your eyes and get even more frustrated if that’s even possible. Part of you knows you’re just having a bad day, that these feelings will pass and you’ll be okay. But another, louder part of you says this is how things will always be.

That’s how Larissa finds you, laying on your back on your bed, foot wrapped in a lovely bandage, crying your eyes out. She silently takes off her heels, padding over to your bed and sitting herself next to you. She brushes some hair out of your face, smiling down at you.

“I hear you’re going around destroying property.” She hums.

“I’m sorry, I can- I can get it fixed and pay for the damage I-“

“Darling, I’m certain your toe suffered more damage than the wall. And even if you destroyed a wall you would never have to pay for it.” She reassured you, brushing the tears from your cheeks gently. “How’s your foot?”

“It’s fine, I was being ridiculous.” You grumble.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she frowns, “do you want to talk about it?”

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. You shrug, biting your lip as you sniffle.

“It’s fine I’m-I’ll be fine,” you croak.

“Talk to me darling,” she murmurs.

“I…” you try, not really sure where to start, “I don’t know I’m just…I just feel like- I just- everything is so overwhelming at the moment. I just- I feel like I’m drowning.”

Larissa taps your arm, gesturing for you to sit up. You do, a bit confused. You feel your heart melt when she shuffles behind you, pulling you to lie back against her. She wraps her arms around your stomach, squeezing you gently and pressing a kiss to the back of your head.

“Go on sweetheart,” she murmurs.

“I just-my whole life has been like flipped upside down. I mean I-I almost fucking died and-and then oh no wait I didn’t because it turns out I’m a vampire! Which is- I mean it’s really cool! And I’m not- I’m not upset or anything but…but my parents hid it from me my- my whole life and I-how am I supposed to feel about that? And my father is all high and mighty about it, pulling the ‘I was doing what was best for the family’ crap. And I can’t even fucking ask my mom about it because she’s-“

Your crying restarts in earnest then. You hide your face in your hands. Larissa holds you tighter, whispering soothing gentle words into your hair. She doesn’t ask any questions, simply holds you as you cry and reassures you that everything will be alright. It’s nice that you can just be with her, that she doesn’t expect anything from you. When you’ve calmed enough to speak again you continue.

“I can’t ask her about it because she’s dead. And she’s been dead for years and it still. I mean I went to therapy for it at the time. And I-it helped. But I-I keep wondering if- if she knew? If she- I mean she probably helped keep it a secret from me but…did she feel the way my dad does? Did she hate who I am too? Would she think I’m a monster?”

You sink further into Larissa’s embrace, grasping her hands with with of yours as you breathe shakily. She shuffles a bit, squeezing you again before she speaks.

“Your father is an idiot and a bastard for the way he treated you,” she whispers, “and I never knew your mother, so I won’t claim to know how she would feel. However, I do know you. And you are one of the kindest, most accepting, most lovely people I’ve ever met in my life. You’re always looking out for others, you’re always trying to help people. There’s nothing even remotely monstrous about you, my love.”

“You thought I was a monster though…” you mumble, bracing yourself for anger.

“I did,” she sighs shakily, resting her chin on your head, “and I-I can’t apologize enough for that. I need you to know that what I said, had nothing to do with who you are. I was-I took out my anger and fear on you. You’re not-there is absolutely nothing monstrous about you darling. And I will spend every moment of every day for the rest of my life trying to show you that.”

Your breath hitches at the sincerity in her voice. You awkwardly manoeuvre yourself to sit sideways between her legs, your foot preventing you from turning around completely. You stare up at her from where your head is resting against her arm, pouting and probably looking like a mess. But Larissa just smiles down at you, her face filled with so much love and adoration you feel the weight on your chest ease a little.

“I’m sorry-“ you start only to be interrupted when Larissa presses a finger to your lips.

“None of that now,” she chides, “you don’t need to apologize for feeling things. I’m so- I cannot express how much it means to me that you shared that with me. I know that one conversation isn’t going to solve your problems, but I promise I’ll be here for you whenever you need me. You know you can call me whenever you need alright?”

“But what if you’re busy I don’t want to bother you…”

“Nothing is more important than you darling.”

She says it with so much authority and sincerity that you genuinely forget how to breathe for a moment. She brushes a few more tears from your cheeks before kissing your forehead. It’s a bit awkward with the way you’re positioned. She chuckles at the noise of protest you let out when she adjusts the way she’s sitting.

“How about we go back to my quarters, get changed into more comfortable clothes and order some takeout? How does that sound darling?” She suggests.

“I-you don’t have to go through so much trouble for me Rissa.”

“I know I don’t. How about you let me anyway?” She grins.

Honestly, you don’t know what to say to that, and her cute grin makes your brain malfunction. So you nod up at her, your face flushing as she escorts you to her room.

And as you sit cuddled up to her later that evening, with her tracing abstract shapes on your arms, you truly feel like everything will be okay.

#htwahp #principal weems #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #wednesday #larissa x reader #principal weems x reader

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carixes · 5 months

Note

Hii, first of all I really like your work! Thank you for blessing us with TR content. I wanted to ask if I could request a Chifuyu x fem!reader, where the reader has a crush on him but is too shy to act on it. So she tries to get his attention by being very good at videogames, reading manga and doing cosplay and stuff. 👉🏻👈🏻 Thank you in advance if you do decide to write it. ^^ If not that's perfectly fine as well :) Have a nice day!

Hihi! Sorry for taking such a long time because my schedule has been a little messy recently but I hope you enjoy!!

You're cute

wc: 889

Chifuyu x fem! reader

How cute. You could often find yourself thinking about your seatmate in class. He had blond hair, one ear pierced and reminded you of a cat. It has been a couple of weeks since you were put into this class and that was definitely enough time for you to develop feelings for him. You loved everything about him from his beautiful name ‘Chifuyu’, all the way to his smile and the way he treats others. You cannot deny that you definitely like him but there was one problem, you were too shy to confess or even engage in conversation with him.

One day after school while you were walking home from school , you were chatting with your best friends, Hina and Emma. You were barely paying attention as your mind kept on wandering off to think about Chifuyu and how the breeze gently swished across his hair and ruffled it slightly, you found that cute. You managed to hear them talk about Hina’s boyfriend and Emma’s crush or something along those lines but you managed to catch one particular line that Emma said, “Hina-chan, why does Draken always blush and smile when I do things that he is interested in? Boys are so confusing……” Hina just giggled and tried to convince Emma that Draken liked her back but you just wondered, what if you try to pick up the things that Chifuyu takes interest in?

So from that day on, you take a few notes on what manga Chifuyu was reading under his desk during class and what games he was playing on his phone in between classes. For the next few weeks, you would be spending most of your time reading the mangas, watching the anime adaptations of them and getting good at the video games he plays.

Since you were too shy to approach Chifuyu, you would subtly hint at school by reading the manga in class or simply make a small reference to a video game character until Chifuyu takes notice and initiates a conversation.

While you were taking notes in a geography class on a wednesday morning, Chifuyu slid you a piece of paper and it read, “Hey, I saw you were reading one of my favourite mangas, would you like to meet me after class so we could talk?” You were exhilarated beyond words and you simply wrote down “I would love too!” on the piece of paper before sliding it back to him. You swore you could see him smiling in the corner of your eye, how cute. You definitely were too flushed and excited to focus on the rest of the class.

Right after class was a lunch break and since you usually eat in class, you just took out your bento box and started eating. Chifuyu then excitedly turned over and he started talking to you about the manga and asking for your thoughts. During most of the conversation you were just admiring his smile and excitement and It immediately boosted your mood.

Your interactions with him increased since then and you honestly grew closer to him over time. You would casually flirt with him by calling him cute and he will get so flustered and you just giggled at him. You two would spend your days after school either at gaming cafes playing video games or at his house watching anime. You were happy with either as you got to spend time with him and you were content with that but one day you would hear something you would never expect to hear.

As you and Chifuyu were sharing a manga and reading it together while you two skipped class on the rooftop of the school, Chifuyu mustered up all his courage and blurted out, “ Y/n-chan, I like you, will you go out with me?” The sudden confession caught you off guard as you always thought the feeling was one sided but watching his expression slowly turn into a frown, you say while blushing hard, “I would love too.”

While you watch his expression brighten up and you couldn’t help but say, “You look cute.” He blushes till his whole face turns red and you laugh. He leans in for a hug and the hug felt like it lasted for forever.

You were happy and he was happy but you couldn’t help but have a little guilt in your chest so you say, “I actually liked you way before and I picked up all your favourite things just for you to notice me so I hope you don’t just like me for that……But don’t get me wrong I still enjoy all of it and I genuinely was not pretending and-” Chifuyu cut you off with a kiss. Your eyes widen in shock at first but you relax yourself and melt into the kiss. It felt heavenly, his lips were soft and tasted a little bit like the chocolate that he was eating. You two parted shortly after and he looked at you with a soft smile as he said, “ I liked you since school started, just the way you looked so focused during class made me blush. I love you just the way you are.” You felt a sense of relief and your heart felt much lighter. You smiled and said “You’re so cute, I love you.”

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #chifuyu x reader #fanfic #matsuno chifuyu #x reader #chifuyu #fluff #just cute ngl #not my best work im sorry #fem!reader

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dankfarrikfifi · 2 months

Text

A Night in and a Day Out

Pt 4 of Some Version of You, 4.5k

WARNINGS: 18+ only, MDNI, explicit content, kissing, oral (f receiving), p in v, fingering, slight choking, discussions of rough sex, discussions of a safe word, let me know if I missed anything <3

A night in with Frankie and the boys, and some discussion of what you and Frankie like to do together.

It’s honestly startling how solidly Frankie has managed to cement himself in your life. It’s been two months since you met, and you’ve made a routine together already. Monday, Frankie stops by the coffee shop before his shift, and you share drinks between customers. Tuesday, you bring him lunch, sitting on the picnic bench behind the garage. Wednesday, you don’t always get to see each other much, your shifts often lining up perfectly to not give either of you an opening until late in the night. Thursday, you have breakfast at his house, taking a walk around the park in the morning before you both head off to your jobs. Friday was different from the rest of the week, being the only day you both consistently have off.

Since reaching adulthood, Fridays have always been reserved for writing, cooking, and having dinner with Will and Benny, every week without fail. You spend the day working on whatever idea had sprouted into your head earlier in the week, words falling out of your fingers with ease, and that night you and the boys take turns cooking. Then, Santi and Frankie joined the three of you, and you aren’t sure if you could handle going back. You and the four boys have created a bond, and soon you have a whole new world of traditions. But Friday never changed. This week, Frankie was hosting, and you were being his sous chef.

The evening was filled with the smell of your and Frankie’s cooking mixed with Will’s baking, while Benny and Santi set the table and made drinks. You all sit around the table, sharing stories of your week, and having the time of your lives. This was the wonder of Fridays, spending time with your closest friends. Friday nights, however, are for you and Frankie, and no one else. Once the table is clear, and the other boys have left for their own shenanigans, you and him have all the freedom you could need to appreciate each other, fully.

The two of you are sprawled out on the ground in front of the fireplace, a forgotten movie on the screen as you talk over it. You ask each other questions about your week and make plans for the future, all while your hands remain intertwined between you. Eventually you find yourself with your head on his stomach, gazing up at the underside of his chin while you chat. It’s then that he looks down at you, an almost shy smile on his face. You raise your eyebrow at him, encouraging him to say whatever it is on his mind.

“The other day, I asked you if I had been too rough,” he stumbles a bit on his words, and you know exactly where this is going, your heart starting to beat a bit harder, “You said you don’t mind when I am, I just, I wanted to ask you specifics.”

You flush, a warm heat settling in your cheeks as you try to avoid his gaze. He coaxes your face closer to his, noses almost touching when he continues talking.

“Let’s be clear, I am asking because I like it,” he clarifies, and you find it much easier to meet his eyes, “Like, really enjoy the idea of that. But I want to make sure you’re completely comfortable with anything we even consider doing.”

“Fuck Frankie, why are you the best guy ever?” You whisper, suddenly overwhelmed, but you try to focus as hard as possible, “I, uh, yea I really wanna try some stuff, and I don’t know I just like when you call the shots and take control, it’s hot.”

You barely have the last word out when his lips are pressing against yours, stealing your breath away as you try to keep up with his kiss. You suddenly find yourself underneath him, and you can hear him talking as he starts to strip you.

“Tell me what you like, baby,” he eases your shirt over your head and starts on the button of your jeans, “If you tell me I am happy to oblige, we do anything you don’t like and I will stop. Just pick a word.”

“Ok, um, red, that’s my word. Red means stop.”

“Good girl,” he hums, appreciating the view of you in nothing but a bra and underwear. “So, you like me calling the shots? What else, tell me, pretty girl.”

“I like when you kinda, I don’t know, manhandle me?” you struggle to find the right words as Frankie starts gliding his finger along the wet spot now forming in your panties. One look at his dark eyes encourages you to keep going, and suddenly you can’t stop talking, spilling every detail. “I want you to be rough, and not be mean but be firm? I just, I like not having to be in control, and I mean I’ll tell you when I don’t like something.”

When your voice trails away, he takes the opportunity to connect your lips again, and you soon find yourself completely naked, while he remains fully clothed, and you can barely contain your gasp when his fingers slide inside of you. He pulls back, taking in your facial expressions as you fall apart.

“Fuck Frankie, Frankie,” the words fall out of your lips like a prayer, like his name is the only thing that will bring you salvation, “God please, I-”

He cuts you off with a firm kiss, his fingers flexing inside of you to find that spot only he seems able to reach. You pant into his welcoming mouth, words suddenly very hard to find with the pads of his fingers relentless inside your aching body. Your hips squirm as you try to find some relief from the constant pressure. He pulls back enough to see your eyes, a hint of amusement in his own when he sees just how desperate you are.

“Yea, that feel good, pretty girl?” he grins, seemingly unaffected, at least to the extent that you are. Your head bobs up and down in agreement, and he can’t help it when he reaches out and grabs your chin between his finger and thumb. You instinctively tilt your head back, wanting more. He adjusts his grip, settling his hand under your jaw and cradling your soft throat. You enjoy the feeling of his calloused hand, large enough to span from one ear to the other. The whimper that leaves your lips when his hand tightens ever so slightly is enough for Frankie to know the answer to the question he is about to ask.

“How do you want it, sweetheart?” his tone is light, but you can still hear the strain in his voice, “Do you want it rough? Want me to fuck you ‘till you can’t take it anymore?”

You can’t be embarrassed by the moan that leaves your lips, by the resuming of your nodding despite his grip. How could you be embarrassed, when he’s reading your mind and saying everything you want him to say? He lets you nod for a few seconds, lets you babble about how much you want exactly that, before his attitude shifts just the slightest. You can see his eyes harden as his hand tightens on your throat, just enough to make you slip deeper into the headspace he wants you in.

“Here’s how this is gonna go, sweetie,” his voice is deeper than you’ve heard it before, “I’m gonna make you cum so many times you can’t think. You need me to stop, you say ‘red’ and we stop right away, got it?”

“Yes Frankie, fuck I need you so bad,” at your whispered pleas he grins, a feral thing that sets your body on fire, and his fingers start moving inside you again in an unforgiving pace. You whine, a high-pitched noise that spurs Frankie on in his efforts to get you to reach that peak. His thumb begins circling your clit, the perfect amount of pressure that shoves you right over the edge.

“That’s it baby,” he talks you through it, his voice a soothing anchor in the haze, “Fuck you look so pretty, such a good girl.”

He gives you a moment to catch your breath, his hands brushing against your thigh in calming circles. You catch his eye and grin, leaning up for a quick kiss. He complies immediately, and you can catch the curve of a smile on his lips as he pulls his fingers out of you. You can’t help the little whine that leaves your lips at the loss of his warmth.

“Shhh, be patient baby,” he teases, “That was only one, you’ll get more. Come on, get up.”

Frankie pulls you to your feet and you follow, collapsing into his chest when your shaking legs don’t want to hold your body upright. Neither of you hold back your laughter as he yanks you into his arms, your legs circling his hips while he carries you to his bedroom. He practically tosses you on the bed, making you giggle mindlessly as you bounce a bit on the mattress. You stare up at him, breathless, as he strips his shirt off, his hand traveling down to his belt buckle. You watch, captivated by his large hand undoing his belt before whipping it out of the loops of his jeans.

Grinning up at him, you reach forward to palm him through his jeans. He groans and savors the feeling of it before grabbing your wrist and yanking your hand away. He tuts at you, shaking his head and smiling broadly.

“Uh uh,” he teases while pulling his pants and boxers down in one move. You take his body in with hunger, lifting your hands up to pull him down to you. He goes happily and plants his hands on either side of your head, resting his weight on top of you. His nose bumps yours as he brings his lips to yours, pausing just before they meet. “You ready, pretty girl?”

Letting your enthusiasm talk for itself, you press your lips to his eagerly. He snakes his tongue in when you part them and you can’t help the loud moan that leaves you. He lets you run the show for just a moment before pulling away, sliding down your body and settling himself between your legs. He catches your eyes, grinning before he dives in.

“Holy shit, Frankie, oh my-” Your voice is cut off with a cry when he latches onto your clit with a harsh suck. He takes the opportunity to slide his middle finger inside your aching core, bending and searching. Your hips squirm uncontrollably at the intense pleasure he’s doling out, and the warm roll of his tongue from your dripping entrance to your clit breaks you. Head tipping back, you moan and gasp, basking in the feeling of his mouth continuing to work over you until it starts to turn overwhelming. “Frankie, fuck, I don’t know-”

“Yes you can,” he tilts his head while his thumb brushes your clit. Reflexively you reach for his wrist, but before you get even close his own hand has your arm, pressing it against your lower tummy. He holds it there and pulls your other arm to join it. Soon, you find yourself with his hand sealed around both of your wrists pinned to your body. “There, now I can take my time.”

You can’t keep looking at the smug look on his face, tilting your head back into the pillows. With your eyes closed you can hear him shifting on the bed while he presses two of his fingers into you this time, finding that spot immediately. You’re restless, yanking at his grip while his fingers fuck into you over and over again. The volume of your voice rises when he slips in one more finger, the final step to getting you prepped for him.

“You ready for me?” he teases, pulling his hand away from your center and briefly releasing your hands from your stomach. You nod rapidly, reaching up to pull him in for a kiss. He obliges and you barely notice him reaching over to grab a condom. He doesn’t let your lips part while he slides it on and lines himself up. In one push he’s sheathed inside of you, your overwhelmed gasp eclipsed by his deep grumble. He fits his face in the crook of your neck, panting and trying to compose himself at the feel of your warm walls clenching around him.

The longer he stays like that the more impatient you get. You start to roll your hips, encouraging him to move, when he pulls back to look at you. His one hand grips your hip tightly and the other slides up your arm, placing it at the top of the mattress. He does the same with your other arm before grabbing both your wrists in one hand, anchoring them to the bed. He rests his weight on them, and pulls back and punches his cock back into you, all while keeping you still with the hand on your hip. You cry out at the intensity of his thrusts as he makes room for himself in your body.

“Fuck, fuck you feel good,” Frankie groans, before composing himself and rising above you. He winks at you, a sly smile on his face, before he doubles his speed, pushing a strangled noise out of you. You try to pull your wrists down, seeking anything that will relieve the building pressure at the base of your spine. His grip only tightens, pulling a cry from your lips.

“Frankie, please touch me please,” you beg, and he immediately complies, letting go of your hip in favor of rolling his thumb over your clit. You can’t help the noise that falls from your lips, a little mewl that spurs him on. He slots his mouth against yours, swallowing your sounds as he continues to rain pleasure down on you.

“Fuck, god damn,” he’s moaning continuously, praises falling from his lips as you cum again, falling to pieces beneath him. “That’s it baby, come on, good girl.”

You’re breathless, writhing under his solid body as he doesn’t relent, chasing his own high. It’s just starting to get too much when he cums, shuddering above you and groaning. Frankie takes a moment before pulling out, savoring the feeling of your warm body. You lay there, limp on the bed as he gets rid of the condom. You stay put as he crawls back in bed with you, facing each other on your sides.

“How was that?” He asks, brushing a piece of hair out of your eyes. You grin at him, reaching up for a kiss before answering.

“Fucking amazing Frankie,” your voice is slightly hoarse when you respond, “You’re the best, thank you”

You’re starting to trail off, the need for sleep taking over your brain. He smiles, a soft thing that melts your heart, before laying on his back and pulling you into his chest. It’s less than five minutes before you’re asleep.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s barely light out when you wake up, the shortening days providing less sun this early. The sky is a stunning blue when you catch it through the window of Frankie’s bedroom. You stretch out on his chest, unsuccessfully trying not to wake him. He stirs beneath you, also stretching and looking at you with sleepy eyes.

“Morning,” he mumbles, still half asleep. You can’t help but smile at his boyish face in the morning, his now shaggy hair falling over his forehead. “Sleep okay?”

You nod at him before tucking your face into his throat, breathing in his aroma. His hand rubs aimlessly at your back, pulling you closer into his chest. You both know you should start your day soon, and yet the scene you currently occupy is so enchanting it’s difficult to pull away.

An hour later finds you in Frankie’s kitchen, sipping on some coffee as he makes pancakes. The domesticity of it is not lost on you, and the thought makes your heart beat just the slightest bit faster. You observe him as he moves around with ease, his hips swaying slightly to the music drifting in from the living room.

While eating, you make plans for the weekend. Frankie’s brother is coming into town on Sunday, so the two of you only really have today to spend with each other alone.

“Do you wanna meet him?” Frankie asks while you’re mid-bite. You look at him in confusion, eyebrows scrunched together with a mouth full of pancake. “My brother, Nick, do you wanna meet him?”

“Oh, uh yea! If you want me to, definitely!” You are well aware of how much Frankie values family, and it makes you a little mushy to realize he wants you to meet them. He beams at you, nodding his head a bit.

“Amazing, I can’t wait,” he responds, the smile not leaving his lips for a moment. You can’t help but return it, his positivity infectious. You finish the rest of your meal, legs tangled together under Frankie’s kitchen table. As you’re cleaning up, he bumps his hip against yours, gaining your attention. You respond by flicking water at his nose. He laughs, startled by your teasing, before talking.

”Wanna do something fun today?” He asks, as if you would say no to that. You affirm, nodding your head to tell him to continue talking. “Aquarium or zoo?”

”Hardest question anyone has ever asked me!” You laugh, pretending to ponder for a moment. “It’s not much longer we can be outside, let's go to the zoo.”

—————————————

Frankie takes you back to your place to get changed, your pajamas of his shirt and a pair of shorts not quite cutting it for a walk outside. You change quickly, stopping to say hi to a hungover Benny in the living room and grabbing an overnight bag. Before long, you and Frankie are walking hand in hand down the trail of the zoo. You’re having the time of your life, pointing at different animals and sharing snacks.

You’re waiting for Frankie to finish washing his hands when you feel your phone buzz. You fish it out of your purse and check who the incoming text is from. You get excited when you see it’s from your second older brother, Theo. You generally check in once a week but it’s been a bit since you’ve talked to him. Your excitement disappears when you see the content of the text.

“From mom” Theo writes, followed by a screenshot of a message he had received from your mom. Your stomach drops in anger when you see what she had written, “Asked your dad if you guys could be with me this Christmas, he said you guys have plans already :( asked if I could join and he said he’d rather not. It’s hard to remember we were married sometimes! Love you.”

You know for a fact that only Noah, your oldest brother, had plans with your dad this year, the rest of you had planned on surprising your mom. The idea that your dad had lied to your mom on your behalf was making you furious, and the fact that your mom was so used to it does as well. You were only eight when their relationship had finally crumbled, but you could still see how much it had broken your mother. She had truly been in love with your dad, though you never could understand why, and it seemed the feeling was not reciprocated from him.

You’re startled from your thoughts by Frankie sidling up to you, pressing a quick kiss against your cheek. Your mind is quickly filled with brighter thoughts brought on by the man next to you. You slip your phone away, no energy to respond at this moment. For now, you’re blissfully happy by just being with Frankie. Why change that?

The rest of the daylight is spent walking back to the car, a comfortable silence falling over you while Frankie navigates his way back to his house. Your eyes are a bit heavy, and you decide to milk it for all it’s worth when he pulls into the garage. You rest your head back, eyes closed as you pretend to sleep. You know you’re not being convincing when you hear his deep chuckle.

“Sleepy, baby?” you can feel his cheek nuzzle against your neck and you can't help the little giggle that you let out. You squirm away from the tickle of his newly grown scruff, but he follows you swiftly, undoing your seatbelt so he can push you flat against the bench of his truck. You gasp, a soft cry of his name swallowed by his lips as he presses them against yours. He pulls back a bit to tease you, “Want me to carry you in?”

You nod, head tilting back in mock sleep again. He scoops you up, reaching behind him to open the driver’s side door. He carries you in, your head resting against his shoulder and face tucked into his neck. You barely process the walk to his bedroom, too comfy in his arms to really care. Before long you’re sitting on the edge of Frankie’s bed, his smiling face staring up at you as he pulls your shoes off. The air around the two of you has electricity, a charge that holds a handful of promises.

You’re quiet as he slides off your pants, keeping his eyes on yours as he starts to rain kisses across your ankle, up your calf, and around your knee. He’s just reaching the point on your thigh that gets your breath sped up, when he switches over to your other leg. He repeats the motions, reaching that point before continuing up. Spreading your thighs apart with his hands, his breath starts to fan over your aching core, sending shivers down your spine.

“Frankie,” you whisper, a hand reaching down to tangle in his hair, “Please, I need you to touch me.”

He doesn’t respond, simply pushes slightly against your stomach to lay you on your back. You go willingly, spreading across the sheets and tilting your hips up to entice him. It seems to work, as it’s only seconds until he has your panties pulled to the side, his mouth devouring you. You start to squirm, the feelings overwhelming as he flicks his tongue over your clit with intense speed. His strong arm reaches up, banding against your waist to stop your movement as he uses the other hand to slip two fingers into you at once.

“Jesus Frankie, fuck,” you moan, unable to do anything but take what he’s giving you. Your head tilts back as he continues giving you immense waves of pleasure. “I’m gonna-”

Your moans are cut off when he slides in a third finger while also rolling his tongue against your clit, over and over again until fireworks explode behind your eyelids. You cry out, trying to pull away despite his grip on your waist as the pleasure becomes almost too much. He pulls away for just a moment to wink at you before diving right back in.

“Fuck! Frankie keep going, please keep-” You can’t keep talking as he does exactly what you ask, his mouth unrelenting on your aching center. He doesn’t let up until you’re practically screaming through your second orgasm, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. He finally pulls away, grinning at you in your overwhelmed state.

“You look so pretty when you cum, baby,” he coos at you, standing to get on the bed next to you. Resting against the headboard, Frankie pulls you up onto his lap. Despite the fact that you just came twice in a row, you can’t help but grind down onto his hard cock, pulling a moan from him. You reach down to yank off your sweater and he groans when he sees you didn’t bother with a bra. He buries his face in your chest, nipping and licking at your salty skin. You tilt your head back, giving him more room.

“Let me ride you, please,” you whimper into the air, and his answering groan is response enough. You help each other out of your remaining clothes. Before long, you’re sinking down onto him, gasps of pleasure tearing from both of your lips, as he feels so much bigger from this angle. You take a moment, struggling to adjust.

“Feel good, baby?” he smiles at you, brushing your hair away from your forehead and leaning up for a kiss. You oblige, whining into his mouth when he bucks his hips up into you. You take a moment to catch your breath before lifting up and dropping back down into his lap. It’s his turn to groan this time as you grind down, his cock seemingly taking up every inch of space inside of you.

You take your time, lifting up and dropping back down onto him as much as your muscles can handle. You’re getting close, thighs shaking with the effort of moving up and down. He can sense it, can feel your imminent release, and flips you over so that he’s now on top of you.

“This ok?” he pants, hips now working into you at new speeds. You nod happily, words escaping you as you’re now hurtled towards bliss. Your moans reach a peak as you break underneath him. “You feel so good, baby, such a good girl for me.”

You can tell he’s getting there too, his hips stuttering before he releases. He takes a second to compose himself, face buried in your neck as he catches his breath. He pulls back, ready to get you two ready for bed, when you grab his cheeks in your hands. He looks at you with a question on the tip of his tongue, one he doesn’t get to ask before you’re pressing your lips against his. He smiles against you, kissing back with as much fervor. You lay like that for a while as he softens inside of you.

“Fuck, Frankie, that was amazing,” you whisper, smiling softly at him. He returns it, pressing another kiss to your mouth before pulling out. You whimper a bit, missing the warmth of his body against yours. You don’t have to miss it for long as he quickly returns to the bed and gathers you up in his arms.

“Goodnight, pretty girl,” he presses a kiss against your temple, and it’s not long until you’re both out cold, satisfied and happy.

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal #frankie morales fanfiction #my writing #writing #frankie loml #pedro pascal fan fiction #some version of you #frankie

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missvelvetsstuff · 7 months

Text

Just A Number

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky at a party and the attraction is more than either one of them wants to resist.

Notes: Since most stories are younger readers I felt like having a more mature reader could be a nice change of pace. Especially since I'm creeping up on senior discounts and want to believe Bucky could fall in love with someone like me.

I try to keep my readers description vague but, as always, she's female, tall and this one is obviously 40+

Chapter 3

Warnings: swearing, angst

3 weeks later......

Y/N was happy with her new job, not 'I love it I'm staying forever' happy but it was a pleasant enough job and should be a good stepping stone. She had more education and experience than her manager but knew better than to show off so early in her employment.

It was Wednesday morning and she was on the train to work with Dawn when her newly issued StarkTech phone rang. She didn't recognize the number but it had a Stark prefix so figured she had better answer it.

"This is Y/N."

Happy Hogan identified himself then went into a rambling diatribe about unreliable employees making his life harder and told her to meet him in HR as soon as she arrived at work.

She agreed and shook her head when he hung up.

Dawn looked over at her "Who was that?"

Y/N looked at her "Happy Hogan. He was talking so fast I barely understood any of it but something about unreliable employees. Told me to meet him in HR as soon as I get to work."

Dawn smiled "That was fast. What it means is someone fucked up and you are getting their job. It should be at least a small step up and raise. I told you they wouldn't let you rot in PR, not with your experience."

Y/N's eyes grew wide "I hope it's not anything crazy. I can't work in marketing with you, I'm so not suited for that kind of work."

Dawn shook her head "Nah, my team is all good. I heard Pepper Potts-Stark has been having a rough time finding an adequate assistant. That's a tough gig but there's travel and more of those fancy parties."

Y/N felt her stomach drop "I don't know that I'm up for that, she's one of the most powerful women in the country."

Dawn sighed "No, she's one of the most powerful women in the world. You would rock that job. I'm keeping my fingers crossed."

Y/N sighed "Doesn't she work with the Avengers a lot? Being a grunt in PR is stealth but her assistant? What if I see....?"

Dawn scoffed "Honey, you know how I feel about that. You should call him. I haven't spoken to Sam in a minute but I can ask him if you want."

Y/N shook her head "No, Sissy, please. He's an Avenger. If he was really interested he could have found me by now."

Dawn slapped her lightly on the shoulder "You make me crazy. You snuck out while he slept, maybe he thinks your lack of interest is clear."

Their station was called and Y/N sighed in relief "Saved by the bell."

Dawn glared at her "This isn't over. Make sure you text me after you talk to Happy."

They walked quickly to the building and separated when Y/N exited the elevator on the 3rd floor and walked into the HR office.

Happy Hogan greeted her when she entered. "Miss Walker?"

She nodded in response and listened carefully as he told her why he needed to talk to her. Her heart raced as she listened to the responsibilities of the position he was offering. Dawn was right, it was Pepper who needed a new assistant.

She nervously accepted the job and had to fill out a mountains worth of paperwork including a very strict NDA since she would be at the side of the head of the company and potentially interacting with Avengers and SWORD agents.

Once everything was in order, Happy led her up to Peppers office on one of the top floors and introduced her to Pepper.

Pepper greeted her with a smile "I want to be clear before we start. I know this is a difficult job so I try to be flexible when I can but I need you to keep up with me and be my memory when I need you. You're expected to wear professional attire unless I tell you otherwise and behave in a professional manner at all times. We are in this building most of the time but there is some traveling so you will need a passport. You will have an expense account to use for work related items including clothing, to ensure you are able to get what you need and keep your focus on the work.

Do you think you're up for it?"

Y/N's mouth was dry and her palms were clammy, this was a great opportunity but also a high stress environment. She cleared her throat.

"Yes ma'am. Since the Snap I've done a variety of jobs that have similar requirements."

They spoke for a few minutes before Pepper nodded and gave her a black card "I think you'll be a good fit. Happy will take you to security to update your access. After that you can get your desk set up however makes you comfortable, within reason. I'm leaving for an event at my daughter's school so you can settle in, learn your way around this floor and all I need you to do is answer the phone. I'll see you bright and early at 8. I'll text you my coffee order to grab from the shop downstairs, they'll put it on my tab. Get one for yourself, too."

Y/N nodded "Yes ma'am. Enjoy your daughter."

Pepper smiled "Thank you. You have kids?"

She nodded "Yes but mine are grown so no cute holiday shows or anything. They grow up way too fast so be there when you can."

Y/N spent the rest of the day wandering around Peppers floor, impressed by the amenities which included a small bedroom, a closet full of clothes, a bathroom, a fully stocked kitchen and a hot tub. Not to mention an amazing view of the city.

She went to her old desk and moved all her belongings to the new one and answered a few calls until her shift ended.

She met Dawn on her way out and they went out for drinks to celebrate her new job.

That weekend they went shopping for work clothes. Most of what Y/N had was showing its age so they looked for new office clothes and a couple of cocktail dresses to have in case something came up. Plus a haircut and manicure.

She felt guilty for spending almost $500 right after starting but wanted to make sure she put forth the right image that Pepper wanted.

When Y/N showed up at work on Monday morning, Pepper gushed over her new 'do and clothes which helped assuage her guilt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was getting sick of chasing the damn Power Broker all over eastern Europe only to miss them every time. He was haunted by dreams of Y/N and the night they spent together.

Sam was getting sick of mopey, moody, angry Bucky but his nagging only made things worse and they bickered more than usual.

After 2 weeks Sam had enough "Look, man, I know you're pining over that woman but could you please keep your head in the game? Your constant distraction will get us both hurt. Put her aside and call when we get home."

Bucky scoffed "No one is getting hurt, stop being so dramatic. And I'm not pining over anything. It was one nite, one incredible nite, but that's it. I'm not going to chase down some woman who doesn't want me."

Sam shook his head "Then stop moping and help me get this job done."

Bucky shook his head "It's not my fault we can't find this power broker person. He's obviously good at hiding and has people scared to rat him out."

Sam groaned "Sharon told me we could find him here. With all the near misses we've had, I'm almost wondering if she's helping him. She spent a lot of time in Madripoor during the Blip, living on the wrong side of the law, maybe she got caught up with him?"

Bucky scoffed "Don't be stupid, Sam."

They went another 2 weeks like this without finding their prey before they packed up and headed for home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 weeks later

Y/N was getting along very well in her new job and Pepper was very pleased with her. It was a crazy job, hectic most days and occasionally slow but she was enjoying herself and learning all about Stark Industries and the business they did around the world.

They had already taken a 3 day trip to Spain and Y/N didn't think she would ever be able to stand flying commercial again. Not to mention the way Pepper was fawned over by every person they interacted with.

Today was Friday and when Y/N started work there was nothing going on until Pepper received a call from Bruce Banner. Five minutes after taking the call, Pepper buzzed her

"Grab your things, Bruce needs me to come up to the compound to check the status of his project. Be on the roof in 15. And cancel my meeting this afternoon."

Y/N felt her heart race and stomach drop. The Avengers compound. Pepper had mentioned it before and told her they would be going there on occasion but Y/N wasn't ready. She knew it was dumb, he lived in Brooklyn and wasn't there much so the odds of running into each other was slim. She hadn't told Pepper that she had met James, didn't seem important for a one night stand.

By the time she calmed her heart down she had to hurry to the roof before she was late. She climbed into the helicopter and strapped herself in.

Pepper was looking at her oddly "Are you ok? You seem a little stressed about going to the compound."

Y/N gave her the best smile she could muster and lied through her teeth "I'm fine, the helicopter makes me a little nervous but I'm alright."

Pepper nodded, unconvinced "Ok. I know I'm your boss but you can talk to me about non-work things. If you want, obviously you don't have to but you can trust me."

Y/N kept her grin up "I appreciate that, you've been a great boss. I don't want to burden you with my problems when you already have so much on your plate. It's it's fine. I'm fine." She stammered.

Pepper rubbed her arm "Well, I'm here if you need me."

They arrived at the compound and Y/N was relieved the conversation was interrupted because she felt herself weakening and almost spilled everything to Pepper.

Pepper filed it away to bring up another time and led the way to Bruce's lab.

Y/N stood quietly behind Pepper and Bruce as they spoke about some quantum thing she didnt understand but she kept notes of the entire conversation in case Pepper needed any of the info that was discussed.

When they were getting ready to leave they heard an announcement about an incoming jet and had to wait for it to land before the helicopter could leave.

Y/N was getting antsy and had that feeling in her stomach that something was coming and started hyperventilating, squeezing her eyes shut. She felt like she was in a tunnel before she felt Pepper gently take her hand, speaking softly. She opened her eyes and went along as Pepper deescalated her panic attack.

Pepper looked at her concerned "Are you alright? What happened?"

Y/N shook her head "I'm, yes, yes." Took a deep breath "No. I'm not alright." and proceeded to tell her about meeting James and every thought or feeling she had about him since. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it was my burden and you already have so much to deal with. A lovesick assistant shouldn't add to it, I'm supposed to help lighten your load not add to it."

Pepper scoffed softly "And you have done an amazing job of it. When I told you that you could talk to me it wasnt lip service. I meant it." She thought for a minute. "I could plan a party and you two could accidentally run into each other? Or something?"

Y/N chuckled "I don't think that's a good idea, he's obviously not interested. I don't want to force something."

Pepper smiled, like she caught the canary "You don't know that, he's a busy man. In fact the last I saw he's been overseas for awhile."

Her phone beeped "There's the pilot, that jet landed and we can go back to the Tower." they started walking towards the hangar.

Y/N smiled softly "Thanks for listening and not judging"

Pepper laughed "After my years with Tony, I've learned not to judge people for their lives."

When they entered the hangar Pepper was stopped by Sam Wilson who chatted for a minute and gave Y/N a too big smile when introduced. He made her nervous.

While they were talking to Sam, Y/N heard a voice she knew intimately coming from the jet that Sam had exited.

"You gonna help me with this equipment or stand there flirting with-" then she heard something heavy hit the ground.

Sam stepped aside but Y/N was looking at her own feet, afraid to see him, afraid to look until he spoke again "Y/N? Doll?"

She looked up nervously and felt her insides flutter and spin at how handsome he was, better than her memories, and her core heated up as she tried not to think about that nite.

She cleared her throat "Hi James."

@supraveng @cjand10 @440mxs-wife @kandis-mom

Chapter 4

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #just a number

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artsyunderstudy · 1 year

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WIP Wednesday

Hello! Thank you so much for tagging me this morning @forabeatofadrum @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ic3-que3n!!! Excited to go see what you've been working on.

I am finally home, been traveling for the past week and I really thought I would have done more writing, but I really haven't. I ended up binging a ton of books (FYI if you didn't see me crying about The Darkness Outside Us on insta, fucking hell man I've been losing my mind for the past 48 hours. READ IT.) and drawing a ton of art for Someone Wicked, which does feel like progress even though I really wanted to be done with chapter 4 by now.

I am also starting to think about actually writing something original. My like, life goal is to write an original illustrated adult novel, but I've always struggled with getting emotionally attached to my own ideas and characters. I think it's mostly just like, imposter syndrome, just feeling like I'm not ready to do something that's 100% me, because what if it's not good enough? What if it never is? But I've been thinking about this story for a while, and I think it has the potential to be really good. And it's something I really want to do, and owe it to myself to try. So maybe you'll start seeing me work on that, I dunno. Probably in the form of sketches on insta.

I'm letting it breathe a bit. I'm getting used to the idea of it existing.

Here's some Simon POV from Someone Wicked.

I insisted that Baz take off the rest of his clothes. His buttons kept scratching my bare skin, and he didn’t like the idea of me putting more clothes on, so it seemed the only reasonable option.

He’s on his back, hair wild and fanned out behind him on the pillow. I’m propped up on one elbow, hanging over him, one leg lazily slung between his thighs. He likes that whispery feeling of my fingertips over his skin, so I’m petting his waist, enjoying the way he shivers when I cross over his ribs. His warm, brown skin starts to bloom up with goosebumps, black hairs standing on end.

I look at his mouth, pink and swollen from kissing me. Eyes still a little puffy from crying.

I think about him being scared. And ashamed.

Tags under the cut!

@johnwgrey @captain-aralias @takitalks @bazzybelle @ileadacharmedlife @aristocratic-otter @urban-sith @basiltonbutliketheherb @letraspal @stardustasincocaine @palimpsessed @whatevertheweather @nightimedreamersworld @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @ionlydrinkhotwater @raenestee @erzbethluna @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ivelovedhimthroughworse @confused-bi-queer @moodandmist @sailorblossoms @yeonjunenby @bookish-bogwitch @shrekgogurt @thewholelemon @whogaveyoupermission @forabeatofadrum @martsonmars @thehoneyedhufflepuff @prettylightsbigcity @creepyspice @onepintobean @hushed-chorus @ebbpettier @stitchyqueer @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @orange-peony @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @theearlgreymage

#wip wednesday #snowbaz fic #artsyfic #someone wicked

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pattersplash99 · 1 year

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Super hero prompts! #1

Hero was so normal about this.

Hero was a very normal hero, with a very normal fan base and a very normal power and they could remain normal about this situation right here in front of them.

It... It wasn't exactly a surprise. Hero has always been incredibly capable, how else would they have sped through the training program and earning their license despite the suddenness of their choice?

(I mean... Having a "motivation" probably helped but even then it's still impressive.)

But back on topic. Hero has had a nice career of being a normal if skilled hero and they can remain normal in even the most chaotic situations.

They can be normal about this.

...

They can be! Don't give me that look.

They can be normal about this.

....

-Someone help why can't they be normal about this.

This is not how they thought this would go, they were expecting since sort of secret high tech lair and an epic confrontation! Not this.

Not a messy and cluttered one bedroom apartment and...

And Villain. Passed out on the couch.

They were... Concerned, let's go with, when they found them passed out in costume, window left open behind them. Hero had honestly only barely passed first aid with a makeup project done hurriedly in the last few weeks and they were not confident that would be reliable if Villain was injured.

Luckily, it seemed they were fine, if a little bruised. Just tired.

But that leaves Hero freaking out about how to react to this discovery.

Backtrack? How did I get here? Why did this happen?

Better then panicking they guess. Sure, let's do that.

Wait but did this start Wednesday or this Morning? Cause technically this all started with-

Focus, Hero! Focus. Relevant recaps only.

Hero was relatively skilled at tracking. Or- well maybe it's defined as locating? Idk, they're good at overanalyzing crumbs of information and finding guesses of people's locations. Wish they could say Hero training thought them but really it's a skill from childhood. Don't worry about it.

(They are not a clingy friend, don't listen to a word BFF says.)

Regardless, it's very handy for their career of choice. They're relatively freelance for a Hero so it's not like it's too time consuming and often it's led to many a capture. They even earned a small reputation.

But, you see, Hero's gotten themself a rival of sorts. Villain has been around a little longer then Hero and has forged a reputation of being sneaky and slippery. Hero want afraid to challenge that once they got through schooling and they've been a recurring encounter ever since.

But Hero has been bored lately. There's no big drug rings or fights in the street or anything.

So they thought they'd see if they could.

Find Villains lair, that is.

They narrowed it down to a few and was planning on leaving it at that but...

Unfortunately they have a best friend they share everything with.

(Yes this all started because of a dare. Wh- I'm not stubborn you're stubborn.)

Enough rambling. They just recapped everything and it still explains nothing.

Why is Villain using what's supposedly their CIVILIAN APARTMENT as a secret lair?! How has no one managed to catch them yet? All Hero had to do was walk in here! There wasn't even an alarm system.

Their eyes catch the closed door of the bedroom.

...A peek couldn't hurt, right?

Snooping around their rivals apartment seems like a much better thing to figure on then trying to figure out what to do. Everyone gets curious and after the mental tax this has been, they deserve the compensation.

It's normal to take time to sort out your thoughts. They're very much being normal about this.

(They ignore the tiny voice saying the normal reaction would have been alerting the hero corp to Villain's location. Or tying Villain up while they were vulnerable.)

They're being normal about this.

They open the door to a small and crowded room that clearly isn't big enough. Though whether that's the fault of the room or the immense collection of metal and electronic parts scattered around is anyone's guess.

The furniture's been shoved to one side, so as to have floor space for inventing. Hero hardly needs to take another glance around the room to realise that probably didn't last long, what with the unopened Ikea shelving box laid on the bed just as covered in parts as everywhere else.

It's a mess. Hero knew Villain had a knack for trinkets and inventions that were a little unorthodox, but they had kind of imagined a more impressive lab-

This is the lab. This mess of a room that's very floor is a walking hazard is where all of Villains crazy weapons are made.

Is this apartment really all Villain has to practice villainy in? This tiny, two-room and a bath room with the smallest shower known to man apartment that hardly fits one person?

They can't believe that the reason they became a hero is using this as their base of operations.

Hero makes a noise that's somewhere between a sigh and a groan. Curse BFF for daring them to actually check. How are they ever supposed to take Villain seriously again?

(This is why you don't suddenly change your entire plan for the future for the chance to interact more with someone cool. The more you learn the more that illusion wears off.)

This is not helping them with their effort to have normal thoughts.

They shut the door and return to the living room/kitchen/ main room so small it doesn't even have room for a dining table.

Their eyes drift to their rival, noting the fluffy hair escaping their hood. It's that brown-blonde color. You know, the one that's like blonde but if it was on a brown color scale? It tumbles from it's hiding place and obscures the side of Villains face, fluttering slightly with their slight exhales, catching on the edge of their mask. Villain shifts slightly, and Hero can feel their mask digging into their skin.

Hero grimaces in sympathy. They wonder for a moment why Villain didn't take their mask off, but honestly they're more grateful about that fact. This has been enough of a emotional rollercoaster, don't need to add unintentional exposure of someone's identity to that weight.

It's funny, what originally drew Hero to them was their sharp edges, how they never let their guard down and never grew cocky yet still had this air off confidence. And yet the sight in front of them can't be described as anything other then soft and vulnerable.

Hero doesn't mind it though.

(they're honestly unsure which side they like more.)

They pause, before an exasperated sigh escapes them.

So much for being normal about this.

They glare at Villain half-heartedly. Well, if they can't be normal about Villain, then Hero's decided they're going to be not normal in a way that could almost be normal if in different context.

They pull a blanket up over Villain, before looking at the counter.

Well, if no one else is going to do it, might as well tidy this place up.

Cleaning's always been a productive way to pass time anyway.

And what else are they supposed to do, take a seat and wait? No way.

#writing #heroes and villains #hero x villain #superhero #train of thought #writblr #snippet #how do tags work #i wrote something #wrote this instead of sleeping

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

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By: Ryan Burge

Published: May 7, 2023

I was born and raised Southern Baptist. Gave my life to Jesus at 15. Got baptized in a pair of white pajamas. Then, I went to a Free Methodist college. Got a job at an American Baptist Church and have been serving in the ABCUSA for more than twenty years. I will be elected to the Board of General Ministries for American Baptist denomination this summer.

My wife is Irish Catholic. We got married in St. Teresa of Avila in our hometown. My very Southern Baptist grandmother went to her grave not knowing that piece of information.

Both my boys have been raised in the Catholic church. They were baptized as infants, and both have had their First Communions. They go to PSR classes nearly every Sunday morning before coming to worship at my church. And our sons attend Wednesday night youth group at the local United Methodist Church.

We wanted them to be part of a religious community. They are active in three. I hope that one of those sticks.

I try to get to Mass with my family a few times a year. Usually on Holy Days of Obligation, and other important days like Ash Wednesday. I really do like a lot of aspects of the Catholic Church. They certainly have better architecture than the average non-denominational Protestant building. Plus, I don’t have to do anything when I go to Mass. I can just sit there and meditate on the scriptures and get lost in the rituals.

I think one of the reasons I like going to Mass is that it gives me something to compare my own church to. We worship the same God, are saved by the same Jesus, and read (mostly) the same Bible.

From a data standpoint, however, there’s a lot going on in the Catholic Church that’s worth unpacking.

But before we dig into that - let’s just start as broad as we can: What share of Americans identify as Catholic and has that changed over time?

The General Social Survey has been asking about religious affiliation for nearly five decades. Same question, basically the same response options. The results are pretty boring, to be honest. Between 1972 and 1990, the share of Americans who identify as Catholic did not budge - 26%. From 1990 through 2010, it barely shifted as well - maybe dropping a single percentage point.

But, from 2010 through 2021, the trend line begins to move. It’s pretty evident that the Catholic share has dropped below 25%. However, it’s hard to pinpoint the exact percentage. In both 2016 and 2018, the number was 23% and in 2021 it dropped to 21%. But that last figure may be impacted by a methodological issue that I discuss at length here.

Overall, though, that’s a pretty solid result. I’ve shared this graph in a few talks that I have given with Catholics in the audience, and they seem fairly pleased with this result. I mean, I don’t blame them. Between 1972 and 2010, the Catholic share dropped by a single percentage point. Not bad.

However, that’s not the entire story with American Catholicism. Not even close. Lots of Americans still identify as Catholics but how many of them actually come to a Mass on a regular basis? That’s where the narrative about the Catholic Church in the United States starts to change.

I calculated the share of four Christian groups that report attending services nearly every week or more over the last fifty years. I love a graph like this one because the point I am trying to make becomes crystal clear in the visualization: Mass attendance for Catholics has fallen off a cliff.

In the early 1970s, about half of Catholics were weekly attenders. Today, it’s about 25%. And no, that’s not a result of the pandemic. Attendance was already down to 26% in 2018 - long before the world had ever heard the word “COVID-19.”

Note, also that the share of evangelicals who attend weekly has noticeably risen over the last fifty years (up at least a dozen percentage points). Weekly attendance for both Black and Mainline Protestants has stayed relatively stable, as well.

I think what is happening in the latter two cases, at least, is that people who marginally attended decades ago now no longer identify as Protestant. That means the denominator has gotten smaller and only the truly committed are left in the fold. It isn’t a resurgence, it’s probably more like a concentration.

The burning question here is: why have Catholics seen their attendance decline so precipitously? There could be a million and one reasons for Catholic churches to be emptying out, just like their Protestant cousins. But I wanted to focus on just one today: politics. I am a political scientist, after all.

I calculated weekly attendance rates among Catholics, but I broke it down by political partisanship. I was hoping to see some type of narrative emerge. It’s surprising to note that even through the mid-1990s, a Catholic Democrat was just as likely to attend weekly Mass as a Republican Catholic.

The clear partisan gap in Mass attendance only began to open up around the election of George W. Bush. But the divide was a small one: only three percentage points. It’s continued to widen from there, though. From about 2010 onward, a Republican Catholic is about six percentage points more likely to attend Mass nearly every week compared to a Catholic Democrat.

That’s not what I would call a huge divide. And if you don’t focus on the gap and instead look at the trend line - Mass attendance among Republicans has dropped from 55%+ to below 30% now. It’s not like conservatives are holding the line while liberal Catholics are jumping ship in huge numbers.

I wanted to take one more look at this, so I pulled up the Cooperative Election Study to test a working hypothesis. Maybe the devout White Catholics are becoming more Republican, while the ones who never darken the church doors are moving more toward the Democrats. I was surprised with the result, to say the least.

First, look at the right-hand side of the graph. Among weekly attending White Catholics, there is little to report. In 2008, 57% were Republicans. In 2022, it was 59%. Certainly, no big shift there - just a lot of stability over the last fourteen years.

Now, look at the never or seldom Mass attenders. This is where things get very interesting. In 2008 and 2012, it’s pretty clear that this group was a point of strength for the Democrats. However, between 2012 and 2016 some pretty tectonic shifts were underway. Instead of the distribution being +15 for the Democrats, it now becomes an even mix (around 42% for both parties).

From that point forward, the composition of low attending White Catholics continued to tilt to the right. Look at 2022 - it’s basically a mirror image of 2008. Democrats were 50% - Republicans were 35% in 2008. Now they are the exact opposite of that.

I am not one to write myself out of a job - but it’s pretty hard to make a causal argument that theology is what pushed low attending White Catholics toward the GOP - because they weren’t in the pews to hear those arguments from the priests and bishops.

For now I will leave you with this thought: shouldn’t White people who report their religious attendance as seldom or never have the same view of politics regardless of how they answer a question about religious identity? You can probably guess that a non-attending Catholic is a bit distinct from a non-attending agnostic. I will explore just how big that divide is in a future post.

[ Via: https://archive.md/SPWF7 ]

More Good News.

#Ryan Burge #catholic church #catholic #roman catholic #catholicism #empty the pews #decline of religion #leaving religion #religion #rise of the nones #good news #the good news #religion is a mental illness

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lemoncrushh · 5 months

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a sad little life update...

hi friends. I know Tumblr isn't always the best place to post about personal shit, but I feel the need to let some things out, and if you wondered why I've been MIA...

a few weeks ago, I got fired from my job. it was a sucky job, I didn't really like it, but it was close to where I live and it had health insurance. I'd only been there since January. the ironic thing is it was a mental health treatment center. but the owner didn't give a shit about the mental health of his own employees. he just wanted to make money. I ended up sending a long email about how I felt working there and what I was unhappy with (I won't go into those details here). a week later the HR lady told me they were letting me go. not the boss. not my supervisor. nobody else talked to me.

in the meantime (actually the day before), I had reconnected through Facebook with an old high school boyfriend. we exchanged numbers and chatted every day. he had been going through his own shit, but had a new outlook on life, positivity and all that. so he told me he wanted to help me. he lives three hours from me, and he even offered to let me live with him and get a job there. so anyway, he invited me to come visit for a weekend, and I was so excited. although we both agreed not to have any expectations (just see how it goes), we flirted all the time. for the first time in a really long time, I was feeling happy.

when I got to his place, I didn't notice the change at first. but that night he pretty much rejected me. we kissed, but he said we shouldn't "do anything reckless." I was like what?? I let it go because I knew he was tired (he works nights and had been killing it all week). the next day, although he wasn't really standoffish, I kept getting the feeling he was entering the friend zone. that night, he rejected me again (gave me some lame friend excuse), and I cried my eyes out. the next morning he asked if we were okay, but I told him I didn't know. honestly, I couldn't even look at him knowing he didn't want me. so I left. I cried almost the whole way home.

he'd told me to text him when I got home, so I did. but he didn't reply. I kept texting him, but I got nothing. when I finally heard from him, he said he was "giving me space". I told him I didn't want space, I wanted to talk. I couldn't tell if he was angry at me for leaving, or at himself for rejecting me, but I think it's the latter. we had even had a discussion at his place about how I hate when guys ghost me. but that's exactly what he's doing. he told me he was "attracted to my heart and my mind", something about my potential. That was over a week ago. Last Wednesday is the last time I heard from him. I'd asked him what I could do to make things better. he said to let him finish his day and catch up on what I wrote. he has not texted me since, even though I've sent a few more messages.

I feel so pathetic. if it was just some random guy, I probably would have just shaken it off and moved on. but because we had history, and because he'd seemed so adamant (and excited) about helping me, I just feel so lost and confused. my heart hurts so bad. some days are worse than others. today was the worst because I went back and read some of our old conversations. how could he say those things and then take it all back?

when he knew me before, I barely weighed 100 pounds. I have gained another 80 since then. I told him I was fat. he argued I wasn't. but I think once he saw me in person he was disappointed. he was probably trying to let me down easy, hoping we could still be friends. but it ended up biting him in the ass because I got upset and called him on it. he's choosing to ignore me rather than admit the truth because then he'd be the asshole. that is the only explanation that makes any kind of sense to me.

anyway, sorry for the rambling. in the meantime, I'm still living at my ex's house, still trying to find a job. I'm still waiting for my bankruptcy to be filed (just a couple things left to do, but it's taking forever), and I have no money.

because of all this shit, I have had no motivation to do any writing, or even reading. I'm so sorry. I just can't even bring myself to think about it.

rejection seems to be following me everywhere. in my teens, I was always rejected by guys I liked because I was a virgin and they didn't wanna be my first. when I finally found someone, he rejected me a week later to go back to his ex. my own ex husband didn't wanna marry me at first. now that I'm older, men don't want me because of my age or my body. I get rejected for jobs because I don't have a four year degree or the experience they want or I'm too old. I've never been anyone's favorite. never been anyone's first choice.

I had really hoped this old boyfriend connection was kismet. that we had come full circle and were supposed to help each other (even though I never believed in that sort of thing before). I'm so heartbroken :(. it hurts.

#personal #read if you want

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slytherinshua · 1 year

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Yaaay! How about a fluff with Binnie in which he and his gf are spending a rainy day at home cooking, watching movies and cuddlying?🥺🥺

Heart Speed

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre and tags: fluff. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warnings: a kiss. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: bin x fem!reader. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ summary: everything in the request lol <;33^^ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ wc: 933. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ a/n: thank you so much for requesting again! mwah ilysm <33 and again sorry it took a bit of time for me to answer skdhgd but i finished it now!! hope you enjoy!!

The ringing of the doorbell was not what you were expecting on a Wednesday that you knew Bin was fully booked for. His hurried goodbyes this morning were a sure sign that the day would be spent in solitude.

But you didn’t mind that much. You understood his busy idol schedule, and weren’t demanding of attention or time spent together 24/7.

But you were also subconsciously realising that you two hadn’t spent more than an hour together in the past 2 weeks. At least not an hour while you were both awake. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a yearning for his affection.

So, when the doorbell rang, you couldn’t help the excitement filling your body as you went to answer it. Could his schedule possibly have gotten cancelled?

But disappointment set in as soon as you opened the door. Bin was not what was behind it, but a delivery box.

You sighed, still mustering a smile and picking up the box. Though the smile became more genuine upon opening it. Your new kitchen equipment had arrived. You had been looking forward to trying out new dishes for the entire week.

You decided that cooking in order to surprise Bin with a nice supper would be a good way to spend the afternoon. Especially with the weather getting more dreary all of a sudden.

Even though no rain had been forecasted for the day, it wasn’t uncommon for Seoul. And while you were putting on an apron and getting out ingredients, you heard a strike of thunder outside.

You turned on some music, and started cutting the vegetables to make a warm stew. On a day like this, You were sure Bin would appreciate a home cooked meal.

The thunderstorm continued to go on outside, while you made a cosy ambiance with music and cooking. The other ring of the doorbell went unnoticed by you. And the muttering of another person in the hallway.

“Is it that hard to get the attention of my girlfriend? Aish~ It smells good in here-”

You were startled when you looked up and met his eyes just outside the kitchen. His tall, muscular frame was leaning against the doorway, looking at you with shining eyes.

“You’re back?” You asked, your knife stopping midway in the air.

He laughed, “You didn’t answer the door.”

You looked away bashfully, “I didn’t know you were back…” You mumbled.

Your shy explanation only earned more laughter from your very smitten boyfriend.

“Cute~” He cooed, walking over to you. He took the knife from your hand, setting it down on the counter carefully before wrapping his arms around you.

“I missed this so much, my schedule has been eating up all my time.”

“Me too. Are you… I mean, if you need to leave soon again it’s not- But maybe…?” You were hesitant to even ask if he was free, as if he would be swept away again with another thing as soon as you thought he was free.

And so, you stopped yourself mid-sentence, resulting in a stuttered, jumbling of words that just barely got your original message across.

Bin giggled again, “Yes, baby. I’m free. Fully free for the rest of today. You have me all to yourself.”

“Really?!” You turned yourself around in his arms so you could look at him. Once you saw his small smile and the sincerity in his eyes, the biggest grin formed on your face. You wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could.

“I should go take a shower, I’m sweaty from practice.” He urged, but didn’t show any intention of leaving the hug.

“Let’s just stay like this for now.” You snuggled into his chest a bit more, everything else fading to the back of your mind.

“What do you want to do now that you have me all to yourself?” Bin whispered into your ear, slowly and teasingly.

You stepped back slightly, and hit him lightly on the chest. “Don’t you dare.”

You thought for a second, a smile growing on your face that didn’t go unnoticed by Bin.

“Why are you smiling?” He asked, subsequently smiling from your smile.

“How long do we have?”

“‘Til tomorrow at 7.” He was growing increasingly curious about your plan and you could tell.

“Home movie date? I just thought… I could finish this stew, and we could cuddle on the couch and watch that movie we’ve been wanting to check out.”

“Okay.” He nodded, liking the idea a lot since he was a bit exhausted anyway.

“Just get the blankets and I’ll get everything else.” You shooed him away to get the couch set up while you finished the stew and set it to simmer.

10 minutes later, you joined him on the couch, immediately snuggling up to him and resting your head on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat from where you were, and it made you giggle cause you heard it speed up.

“We’ve been dating for 2 years but your heart still beats faster when I’m close?” You asked teasingly, looking up at him just to his cheeks slightly pink as well.

“It does not!” He protested, “It’s just… I haven’t seen you in a while. I missed you like crazy.”

“Now you’re making my heart speed up.” You let out quietly.

“Really? But I thought we’ve been dating for 2 years.”

“Shut up.” You leaned up and pressed your lips to his, and you felt him smile through the kiss, before reaching to the back of your head to bring you closer.

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poisonousquinzel · 2 years

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Hey y'all, I really hate to be making a post like this, but in true 2020 2.0 fashion, life has been... rough.

I've been trying to get a job in my city since May, but I've been denied because of my health issues.

We also don't have a car. And our town is small so while we technically have a bus, it comes by near my house once per day and isn't reliable.

My mom can't work and my step dad's online work has been stretched dry recently so he's been making bare minimum for months.

I had been under the impression in the beginning of May that I would have the assistance of my parents in this, I've never done most of this before and they made it sound like my mom would help me.

However that wasn't really the case, personal stuff happened for them and I don't necessarily blame them for that, but then in June I got denied for a job because "I have too many health issues" and my step dad told me that we'd get back to it after my birthday. (Post 12th)

I've asked my step dad every morning when I wake up what we're going to do that day, because he had said he was going to be the one handling the job stuff when we started again.

And every day we've done whatever it is he said. We walked up to 7-11, turned in an application, looked up online jobs, etc.

We did the same on Wednesday and the only reason I didn't keep looking into more of them that afternoon was because I had a migraine. And when I have migraines they're not just headaches and they're not just migraines.

It's something I've been working through with my doctor about, because my previous long term doctor since childhood was completely incompetent at her job.

When I get migraines, it makes me nauseous. And being nauseated makes my heart slow down and I faint or collapse.

I can't sleep, it hurts to close my eyes or move them behind my eyelids. It feels like it's sparking against metal with every movement.

I've had to go to the hospital for it in the past when I collapsed into a pile of bags and was barely breathing, my previous doctor just... didn't look at the hospital's report on my visit. Like when I tell you in hindsight she really sucked, she really fucking sucked.

So, yeah, I slept a lot on Wednesday. I wasn't thrilled about it either.

And I told my step dad that I'd do all that stuff on Thursday.

My physical state was pretty visibly clear, I couldn't leave my extra darkened room without wearing sunglasses even though it was 8:30 at night.

But, then on Thursday instead I got into a really heated discussion with the two of them.

And... I am just very, very tired now.

I panic called my therapist 5 times in less than 10 minutes afterwards. It was a really bad day.

Thankfully I was able to get back to back emergency appointments with her and my doctor yesterday morning so dw emotionally wise. But I don't know how I'd be fairing if I hadn't been able to get those scheduled.

But Long Story Short:TLDR: we are a couple of weeks away from being on the streets.

Or in a shelter. We wouldn't be able to bring any of our cats. We would lose all of them.

I don't want to beg, but I suppose I am cause I'm terrified

We're behind on bills and next months are just around the corner, we've run out of local resources here that can help. I don't know all of the specifics, but I do know we're out of options.

If you're in a good financial situation and you feel like it, if you can, literally anything would help.

It'd mean the world. I don't want to end up on the streets or in a shelter, and I really don't want to lose my cats.

I can't.

They're the only thing keeping me going, so, please

PayPal •

[email protected]

Cashapp • $Poisonousquinzel

reblogs and signal boosting are also super appreciated!!

#signal boost #financial help #donations #rent assistance

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terresdebrume · 4 months

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The old fashioned try

Fandom: Band of Brothers Rating: Teen & up Warning: None Pairing: Bill Guarnere/Babe Heffron Length: 2 260 words.

Summary: Bill and Babe have a regular Thursday night meetup. It's the highlight of Bill's week, except when Babe sits at the table with the stress levels of a deer being hunted for sports.

Note: The other day @gamebird prompted me to write about my favorite character being under tremendous amounts of stress. This isn't quite that, but it's still only here because of the prompt, so thanks for that :) Hopefully, I'll manage to clean it up and edit it enough to crosspost to AO3 before the 31st, but if not it'll be my first fic of 2024 I guess x) Also, this is part of the same modern AU as the story centered on Ruth Liebgott, but you don't really need to have read that to read this.

There’s something wrong with Babe. Bill clocks it before he even sets a crutch in the diner. His first clue? It’s seven pm on the dot, the exact hour they’ve agreed to meet, and not only is Babe right there, he’s got a mostly-empty beer bottle right in front of him. Which means he’s not just on time: he was early. Bill frowns. Babe has many, many qualities in life, but God knows punctuality is not on the fucking list. So what the hell brought him in so soon?

Frowning harder, Bill steps away from the window. He makes his way to the front of the diner, swearing when his right crutch catches on an old chewing gum, but he doesn’t let it distract him for more than a moment. He’s got to figure out what the hell is going on with Babe. He’s sitting at their usual table, at least, but he’s barely paying attention to Doris and her jokes. Bill shoulders the door open without paying it the slightest bit of attention: at the table, Babe’s knee is bouncing so hard it’s threatening to shake the table. Babe’s hair is a mess, too, like he’s been running his hands through it. His usual pale face has gone pasty white, and his finger taps at the tabletop like he’s trying to use morse code.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

Bill maneuvers around some dicks hanging out between tables instead of sitting the fuck down, and feels his frown deepen when Babe fucking stands up as he notices him. Stands up—what the fuck is this, a business meal? Come the fuck on. Bill smiles anyway, because it’s Babe and their Thursday dinner is the fucking highlight of his week. Doesn’t mean he turns his eyes off. Or his brain for that matter. Babe’s palm is sweaty when he grips Bill’s hand. His hug jerky. Babe’s nervous, but what the fuck about is the question?

“How you doing?” Babe asks, a light frown hovering over his brow.

Bill answers, of course, and the conversation proceeds almost like it’s any other Thursday night…except Babe doesn’t fucking relax. He’s jittery and distracted, and the more Bill sees it the more tense he feels himself get in response. He can’t tell what it’s about, is the fucking thing. It’s not a new partner, for sure, or Babe would have spilled the beans already. Ditto: the return of the Doc. Babe and Gene parted on amicable terms last year, if Babe were back with the guy he wouldn’t need to be cautious about announcing it. So, Bill concludes as they discuss his and Babe’s weeks, this isn’t about Babe’s love life.

It’s not about family news, either. Bill had his Ma on the phone this morning, and his ma talks to Anne Heffron every Wednesday during book club. She’d have shared any important news. So, no sick Heffron, no sudden death, nothing like that. Besides, news like that would make Babe look sad, not like he’s about to vibrate off the goddamn couch! And yet the attitude just…persists. Babe jitters as he recounts a frankly uneventful week of essays and uninspiring classes. He taps his finger against the table, his glass, his plate, as he listens to Bill’s anecdotes from the VA. He runs his hands through his hair no less than four times—four times! —while they trade news about their group of friends.

It goes on past their opening beers, past the arrival and clearing of Babe’s red gravy pasta and Bill’s tomato pie, and past the moment Doris comes back to see if they want any dessert. And all the while Bill feels his heart speed up, feels the prickle of sweat under his armpits, the hair standing up at the back of his neck. It starts in a slow simmer, the heat of it rising, and rising, and rising steadily, until Bill snaps.

“Alright, spit it out, Babe.”

Babe’s eyes widen in doe-like surprise, and Bill would chuckle at the sight if he weren’t too busy panicking. It’s not good news, it’s not a death in the family, it’s probably not about Babe’s job—but’s enough to make him look like he’s preparing to be lined up against a wall or something, and not knowing the what’s what is giving Bill the worst fucking case of the jitters.

“Spit what out?” Babe retorts, looking even more caught out.

Bill kicks him under the table.

“What the fuck?” Babe hisses, switching from cornered to annoyed in less than a second. “What was that for?”

“Don’t give me that ‘spit what out’ bullshit,” Bill hisses right back, glaring into Babe’s eyes, “You’re shaking so much I could sit a gal on your leg and charge her for the joy ride, what the fuck is going on?”

“Nothing,” Babe says, and Bill kicks him again. “Ow! Fuck you!”

“Just fucking tell me what’s going on,” Bill demands, feeling his patience unravel at high speed. “You in trouble or something? Do I need to help you hide a body?”

“What? No!” Babe says, switching track again, from annoyance to clear indignation. “Of course you don’t need to help me hide a body! Jesus Christ!”

“Then what the fuck is it?”

Bill knows he’s flailing as he asks, hears the faint lisp creeping back into his voice, and could maybe be embarrassed about it, but isn’t. This is freaking Babe, okay? They’ve known each other since they were in diapers! Bill was there for Babe’s first communion, for his first girlfriend, his first heartbreak. He let Babe crash in his bedroom after he came out to his parents and they didn’t take it so good, the two of them watching vines under Bill’s blanket while his Ma went and gave Anne Heffron a stern talking-to about acceptance. Hell, Bill was right there for all of Babe’s story with Gene Roe, from their meeting in college to their amicable break up last year.

What the fuck could Babe be afraid to tell him of all fucking people? Babe can be nervous around his parents, or his brothers, or anybody else all he wants, that shit just happens, but around Bill? Unless—

“Did I do something?” Bill asks after a bit, his frown coming back full force.

“No!” Babe replies immediately. “No, you didn’t do nothing! It’s me, I’m just.”

Babe cuts himself off, and if Bill still had two legs he’d be fucking standing on them because what the fuck else, then? If it’s not something he did or said or—what the fuck is it? But Bill doesn’t have two legs, and getting to your feet on crutches is too slow to look suitably dramatic. And even if he did want to go for it anyway, he wouldn’t have the time to do it because Babe comes to some kind of conclusion in his head: with an explosive sigh, he swipes a hand through his hair and says:

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Careful with that, I hear it’s dangerous,” Bill says automatically.

It makes Babe snort, which brings a smile to Bill’s face. It’s nice, making Babe laugh. Or smile. It’s the best part of spending time with the guy, really. Not that now is the greatest time to indulge in the pastime, but still. At least it makes the tension in Babe’s shoulders loosen.

“Speak for yourself, oldhead,” he says, yelping when Bill swats at him.

Doris comes by with their ice creams and a wink for Babe, which he receives with the perennial embarrassment of one who had a very obvious childhood crush that didn’t go unnoticed. Bill waits for Doris to leave before he makes a kissy face at Babe, which has the unexpected effect of making flush like he’s just spent a hot day at the beach without sunscreen. Normally, the only thing the joke does is make him roll his eyes, and Babe feels himself pout in confusion.

“I’ve been thinking,” Babe repeats, still flushed, his eyes down on the table.

Then he clears his throat and looks back up at Bill with his chin raised, like he’s expecting some kind of argument. Bill has no such thing planned unless Babe doesn’t fucking say what’s on his mind right the fuck now, and he’s about to say as much when Babe finally manages:

“I think we should date.”

What?

“What?”

“I think we should date,” Babe repeats.

Oh good. For a second there, Bill thought he’d heard wrong. Which, to be fair, he doesn’t think he can be blamed for: he didn’t exactly come here expecting his best friend to ask him out! Not that it’s. It’s not. Uh. Bill blinks.

“Why?”

“Because I want to,” Babe says, his tone matter of fact despite the violent red of his ears.

That’s a compelling argument right there. A surprise, really, because Babe’s never really shown any leaning in that direction, but Bill is doing some mental math of his own and he’s not exactly finding any flaws with Babe’s reasoning on that one.

“Because I thought I was lying to my Ma when I told her I wasn’t interested in meeting anyone new, but now I don’t think I was.”

That’s…. Not to be mean to mama Heffron or anything! God knows she and her husband came a long way since Babe was sixteen and stressing out about being thrown out so bad he’d let Bill’s older siblings kick their ass in Overwatch. But the simple truth is that her main criterion for introducing anyone to her son is ‘are they a good Catholic’ which, really. Babe’s best friend is Bill. She should know better. So, yeah, it would have made sense for Babe to just say things to get her off his back.

The fact that he wasn’t—that he’s truly content with his life as is, with Bill as the main fixture of his social circle? Dating or not, that’s one hell of a flattering thing, really, and Bill feels his chest warm up from the inside out at the revelation. His mouth curves into a smile on its own accord. He’s not really interested in stopping it.

“And,” Babe adds after a beat, finger tapping away at the tabletop again, “because I think—I hope. I hope we can stay friends, even if it doesn’t work out.”

“Of course we will,” Bill retorts, indignation pushing out the warm affection from earlier. “The fuck kind of—I fucking told you, Babe. You and me, it’s for life, alright? We’ll still be shooting the shit in the nursing home, you’ll see.”

Babe grins, all traces of apprehension leaving his face, and Bill relaxes in response. ‘I hope we can stay friends’ what kind of fucking—of course they’ll stay friends. The only question left is whether they’ll be fucking married or happy exes by then! Sure, Bill didn’t exactly give it any thought before, but he is now. Giving it some thoughts. He’s giving it the thought that probably most things aren’t gonna change, really. They’ll still be thick as thieves and they’ll still be best friends, and depending on how this thing goes they’ll just add sex and living together and a dog in the mix. And frankly, out of the list, there’s two Bill would be okay to have with Babe even if they don’t make it romantically, so.

“Okay,” he says after a brief moment of silence.

This time, it’s Babe's turn to blink at him.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Bill confirms, grinning in the sharp way that makes Babe chuckle all on its own sometimes. “You’ve convinced me.”

“How romantic,” Babe mocks, rolling his eyes.

He’s grinning back, though, and the flush has moved from his ears to his cheeks—it looks good on him. It’s always looked good on him, the blush and the fucking twinkles in his eyes, and the grin that’s been pulling Bill’s eyes to his mouth for months, really, now that he thinks about it. And he hasn’t thought about it before, not consciously, but as it turns out it’s one of those things Bill knew without knowing he knew them. Like when Babe came out to him all those years ago: Bill hadn’t known but he wasn’t surprised, just like Babe hadn’t known about him but hadn’t been surprised either.

Hell, even Babe’s fucking banter—it’s new but it isn’t. Because alongside the abrupt thrill of a new step, something beautiful and exciting beginning, there’s also the familiarity and the comfort of Babe, and everything they already share. And so it’s with the same challenging grin as ever that Bill retorts:

“You want romantic? How about I walk you back right now and we see how we feel about kissing goodbye?”

Babe doesn’t even pretend to consider it, just straight up rolls his eyes:

“Fine. But next time, I want flowers.”

And it’s funny ‘cause see, here they are: haven’t even made a proper date out of the evening yet, and they’re already planning the second one. But what the hell, it’s Babe: date or not, if he wants flowers he’ll get flowers. So they leave their half melted ice creams on the table along with enough money for the bill and a generous tip, and they walk the two and a half blocks to Babe’s parents’ place. Bill bitches about his crutches the entire time, and Babe tells him he should stop being a baby and get a goddamn knee scooter already, and when they get to their destination they do try out kissing goodbye.

They like it alright.

#Band of Brothers #Babe Heffron #Bill Guarnere #Babe Heffron x Bill Guarnere #Harnere #BOB Fic #No idea if there's already a different ship name for these two but if not #Let's start it I guess #Matt writes #s: limo driver joe

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