#this is why i ONLY go out with a specific group of people. they know the drill
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𓈒𓏸 𖦹 best friends brother ⸝⸝ 🥂 .ᐟ ׄ ׅ ྀ
𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 𖦹 ׅ ࣪ dom!chris x bfb!reader , enemies 2 lovers & best friends brother!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𖦹 ׅ ࣪ smut, oral!fem, fingering, nicknames; (baby, mama/ma, good girl, etc!), p in v, protected sex.
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𖦹 ׅ ࣪ sydney has been best friends with nick since she could remember. her and chris have always found eachother attractive but have had a hatred against eachother for ages. what happens when someone can’t keep his hands off syd at a party?
authors note; i hate this but i needed to post.
purple; nick
blue; matt
orange; chris
pink; sydney
green; madison (beer)
“okay bitch, you ready to go!?” nick says as he fixes his tie from around his neck, looking over at sydney. the corners of her lips turn up as she gives him a nod. “yup! let’s go, i am ready to get drunkkk!”
the pair walks down the stairs to matt and chris, sydney going over to the couch and grabbing her purse with only lipgloss in it.
chris carefully watches her every move, taking in the outfit the girl is wearing. he wishes he could be the one taking it off her tonight, but he knows he could never. she’s just nicks best friend.
sydney took notice of chris looking at her and gave herself a slight smirk. she’s always thought of chris in ways no one should think of their best friends brother, but who cares? cause surely she doesn’t.
“hey chris,” sydney mumbles to him as she walks past him, walking out of the sturniolo’s house. chris just nods his head in her direction as he puts his hands in his pockets and follows her to the car.
sydney sits next to nick in the back as she plugs her phone in to connect to the aux. “no mrs.swift and we’re good, alright syd?” matt says to her as she nods in response.
the group was going to their friend, madison’s, house for a party she was throwing for her new album.
it only took a few minutes to get there since the sturniolo’s live not to far from the girl. sydney was the first one to quickly get out the car and walk up to the front door, giving a polite knock.
madison opens the door with a huge smile, “heyyy syd!! it’s been so long girl oh my gosh? come on in!” she says as madison opens the door wider for the girl.
the rest follow behind her as they go in separate directions, from the dance floor to the drink stand. chris doesn’t stay to far from sydney tho, not for any specific reasons of course..?
sydney quickly gets to the dance floor, random people surrounding her as the song “moth to a flame” blasts through her ears.
a random boy walks over to sydney, running his hands over her body as he grinds against her in a dancing manner slowly. as chris see’s this, his grip on his drink tightens.
who is this man? and why is his hands on MY woman?
before any bad thoughts could enter chris’s mind, his feet move him towards the pair, pushing past anyone or anything that’s in his way.
“sydney? what’s going on over here baby?” chris says as his hands wander to his waist, shooting the guy a look.
“what— why are you call-“ before she could finish her scentence, chris’s lips hit hers. the boy quickly walks away as chris’s hands roam all over her body.
a whimper passes her lips which makes chris’s tounge enter her mouth. before anything gets to heated though, she quickly backs away as her eye meet his. “what was..” sydney says as she catches her breathe, “what was that for?” she finishes.
“i don’t like how that boy had his hands all over you. he can’t do that. you’re my girl, not his.” chris admits as his lips ghost over hers.
“let’s go somewhere else, alright?” he whispers against her lips as he grabs her hand and pulls her to madison’s guest bedroom.
sydney feels her back get pressed up against the door as a click fills the room, indicating the doors locked. wasting no time, chris smashes his plump lips against hers.
teeth clashing and wet noises fill the room as their lips move against eachother for was feels like hours. “let me take this off you, yeah?” chris says as his fingers hook in the loop of her denim skirt. sydney nods as he swiftly takes them down.
“fuck chris..” sydney quietly whispers as his head dips between her thighs. chris kitten licks her core through her panties as his hands run up and down her thighs. “don’t stop, please,” she whispers as chris nods against her.
“i don’t think i could stop even if i wanted to syd,” chris whispers as he rips her panties off with his teeth, going right into her clit. a loud groan escapes sydney’s lips which makes chris put 2 fingers into her mouth.
chris’s tongue pushes into her as he sloppily places wet kisses against her core. he slowly slides his fingers out which caused a pop from sydney’s lips.
he places the 2 fingers into her as he slowly pushes them in and out of her. “ohhh fuck chris!” she moans a little louder than the last time, her chest rising up and down. “just like that..” she whimpers out.
“fuck mama, so good. always so good for me,” chris praises as he looks up at her, his fingers knuckle deep in her. sydney tries to contain eye contact but as she reaches her high, she quickly looks away.
“if you don’t keep eye contact i’m gonna stop, alright ma?” chris tells her which makes sydney quickly look at him. “o..okay,” she breathes out as chris smirks to himself.
“atta girl,” he whispers as he plunges his fingers in her at a faster pace. sydney’s legs begin to shake, “close.. close!” she screams out as her legs begin shaking faster this time. “let it out baby, cum all over my fingers.” he tells her.
sydneys chest slows down as she lets out on his fingers. chris sticks his fingers in his mouth as he tastes her on his tongue. “oh fuck chris..” she breathes out as she catches her breath.
chris begins to take his pants off with his underwear as he lets his hard cock out his pants. “jesus..” she whispers to herself as she looks at it. how’s it gonna fit?
“don’t worry baby, you can take it,” chris tells her as he grabs the condom from his back pocket and putting it on. “why do you—“ sydney begins asking but gets off when she feels chris thrust into her.
“oh FUCK,” sydney moans out as her hands go to chris’s hair, tugging and pulling on it. his pace fastens as he leans down to place a kiss against her throat.
the room is filled with skin slapping noises as moans from both of them. “i’m so close baby..” chris whimpers out as his hands move to her throat as he thrusts harder into her.
sydney’s lips part as she’s a sweating, moaning mess. “gonna cum chris, gonna cum!” she moans out loudly as she realeses all over chris’s cock.
chris lets out not to late after her, pulling out and tieing the condom up. he throws it into a piece of toilet paper and puts it in the trash can next to them.
“that was—“ chris whispers out as he puts his full attention right back onto sydney. “yeah..” she replies back as she puts her clothes back on, not bothering to get cleaned up.
“don’t think this is the last time we’re doing that. i hope you know you’re mine. you’ve been mine syd,” chris says as he leans against her ear, placing a kiss behind it.
“trust me chris, i wouldn’t let it be,”
#𓈒𓏸 𖦹 ireland ⸝⸝ 🍍.ᐟ ׄ ׅ ྀ#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#chrissturniolo smut#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#nathan doe#nick sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#nate doe#nathan doe smut#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic
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Have you had any ✨Ghost Experiences✨ in Scotland yet? Meet any new ghosts???
Ohhhh plenty, but far too many to list without going off on a ramble haha
We’ve done many overnights in castles and old buildings up and down the UK with a team of investigators which has led to really neat experiences, some of them absolutely poignant. I think my favourite interaction has been with a sweetheart of a young seaman called William aboard the RRS Discovery docked in Dundee, also the best K2 session I’ve ever had was there. But yeah, various castles, historic buildings, manors, prisons, etc with some really fascinating results.
I do like how it’s also putting the mediumship to the test which is something I still don’t really like bringing up in general to people but I have apparently shocked investigators/employees at these places with describing events, people, and other things with detail that is not even public or only known privately by people who frequent that location. Nearly all locations I’ve never been to and make a point not to read up on them before I go, which makes these instances more compelling? I often don’t even know the significance of what I’m (sheepishly) describing only to be told I just described a specific thing that happened in a room when there’s no way I could know about said thing. One of the best instances of this was on the RRS Discovery when trailing behind the group in the lower decks, I stopped suddenly. It felt as though something SMACKED very hard and very sudden right where I was standing, someone had lost their life in this very spot. I thought with the boilers around perhaps someone had been hit somehow and died or maybe fallen from the above platform and hit their head on the metal below but was told there were no known records of someone dying in that room and that the platforms didn’t exist at the time. I was perplexed by this as I was 100% sure something had happened there but I just ignored it, maybe I was wrong. We get up to the top deck finally and are told about a boy who, in 1901, tragically fell from the crows nest and died. The investigator and I suddenly realised I had been standing directly below the spot he would have hit on the upper deck when he fell. Another would be a nice young man I’d encountered at a private castle who seemed to be wearing some sort of chainmail and white tunic, followed me around for most of the night, and at one point I picked up on a story about a strange looking gold disc with all these markings on it on the alter in the chapel which he immediately told me not to ask about and refused to elaborate more, I had no idea why he was so adamant about this. I later learned after enquiry the castle historians have documented the place being used by the Templars and it’s a private fact at this location that the Templars have buried artefacts beneath the castle they are working to recover… most notably, beneath the chapel. I’d be talking for ages if I described the other occurrences, but that’s one I’ll always remember!
All and all, I do actually recommend doing it, even if you don’t believe in the stuff, because you get entire historic locations basically all to yourself, at night, which is cooler. I once sat for nearly an hour in a 200 year old jail on the floor, in the dark, at 2 AM, just chilling. On free roam while everyone is usually at base, I’ve been able to explore places by myself, in the dark, opening doors to rooms not even shown to us, panning my torch to old paintings and artefacts in basements to attics and bedrooms and so much more. I’ve sat alone in century old ships and played sea shanties which echoed hauntingly down the passageways. Sprawled out in the pews of medieval chapels in the pitch dark, wandered dark castle corridors alone, sometimes I’ll sing out old songs and just listen to it drift out through the halls and rooms. You feel like some character in a novel, it’s quite a liminal space! Like all these places where so many other people came before you, where people lived and died, sometimes even right where you’re sitting, and you’re able to lay out on the stones in the dark with it all and just feel connected to it yk?
Anyway that still ended up being a ramble HAHA so yeah! I recommend it for both believers and those less inclined because at the end of the day, you’ve basically got several hours of private access to historical locations, at night, no tourists, and sometimes to places the public isn’t allowed at all, and hey maybe something Strange will happen while you’re alone in the darkness.
#can I just say too there is something so hauntingly beautiful about the alone time on my free roams#like usually these places get locked up at night or you’re limited by opening hours and tight your schedules and roped off areas#but when I’m alone on these things you get near unrestricted access in some of these places#and you’re just alone in the quiet where some people used to laugh or lost their lives#like I cannot explain how—even in a non paranormal way—you feel a new connection to the past#without the distractions of the day and ropes and time and tourists and noise#it’s just you and everything that has come before you#and you’re like wow we are all humans in this together huh#asks#paranormal#long post
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Did you see the video of the answer? Did it change your opinion at all?
I did, and I'm not sure why you think it would? Here for anyone that hadn't seen it [X].
Both the transcripts and the video made it clear he was trying to be very careful about his phrasing. He still very pointedly changes away from the characterization of it being a confession. He still uses clearly platonic terms of friendship to refer to Dean's feelings about Castiel several times over. Not only that, but he consistently characterizes the angel as part of the larger group of people that are important to Dean - "one of" and "people" - rather than the kind of solo importance some people are desperately trying to ignore his plural word choices to interpret into what he said. I think it's also very clear from where his statement was going before and after the person yelling "subtext" got him off track, that Castiel's statement of feelings was what was "clear text" rather than "subtext" - not the ship. The statement he was in the middle of was that the feelings between them after that scene were understood and therefore did not need to be addressed or talked about in any way. You know, the scene where Castiel rambles about love he knows he can't have and Dean just stares at him like he was slapped in the face with a week old fish. Again, if Dean actually did feel the same (whether that's romantic lurve or I'd totally revolve my life around you and die for you love) despite all previous canon and everything Jensen has ever said on the subject, including all of this? That would very much require a resolution and something being said to contradict the part about it not being have-able, and trying to weasel around the specific words to imply otherwise is so obviously bonkers I just can't even. Like, hellers themselves obviously know this or they wouldn't have been whining for literal years now about how TW and any revival HAD TO give them a resolution to that scene where Dean reciprocated.
Personally I think Misha's final speech as Castiel was an embarrassingly transparent, disingenuous, insincere cash grab that came out of nowhere to betray the character's entire previous story to bait shippers while leaving it ambiguous enough to ignore for the rest of the audience. But from the start, Jensen has treated it as sincere and praised Misha's emotional investment. Whether he really buys into that or just realizes the optics would be terrible to criticize an interpretation of supposed representation so many people are invested in? I mean, personally I thought the video made his description of the scene sound a lot more rote, like 'yeah yeah, whatever' than the transcripts did. But that is pure interpretation, not words he actually said, so YMMV, and obviously I am very biased on that subject.
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arc 8 ottosuba and mutually assured destruction (devotion)
basically i wanna talk about this again but more Specifically bc they are gonna fuck each other over so fucking bad. like this is the most disastrous combo of all time. you got natsuki subaru who has rbd AND a suicide pill in his fucking mouth that he can use at any time AND he will die as many times as it takes to save Anyone he cares about. and then you pair him with otto suwen, aka a devoted little freak whos willing to let entire countries and millions of people, including people subaru cares about, die to save subaru. and otto has died for subaru twice now and will gladly do so again on top of that. they are the absolute worst combo of all time bc natsuki "ill save you no matter how many times i die" subaru and otto "i would let anyone and anything die to save you" suwen are inevitably going to come into conflict. otto wont let subaru die at any cost but subaru having rbd means that hes gonna win no matter what. hes gonna get what he wants. hes gonna die and theres nothing otto can do to stop it. and even if otto does stop subaru, its a lose lose bc either subaru dies and uses the info he got to beat otto next time, or subaru and otto end up having more fights with each other anyway, or otto does end up stopping subaru in some way (example: otto wanting louis to die) and subaru gets pissed at him over it, or all the otto permadeath flags end up being real and otto dies permanently and subarus gonna be destroyed and i bet ottos still gonna be like "i told you we shouldve left vollachia when we had the chance" on his literal deathbed bc him permadying proves his literal point this whole arc. and subaru can save otto all he wants but if otto ever figures out this hurts subaru in any way ottos never going to get over it. hes gonna be upset and pissed forever. there is no winning with these two. their devotion is violent and theyve literally found their match in each other. bc their devotion strips the other person of their own free will and choice in the manner bc they keep saying "no. i have to save you no matter what, even if you get upset at what im doing and even if i do all of this behind your back without ever telling you." and if they keep being stubborn theyre just gonna end up dragging each other down - which is the exact opposite of their goals to save each other. they are likely going to kill each other by the end of this, metaphorically or not. and its going to be because of love. do you understand. how do you save someone who wants to save you first. how do you save someone whos devoted themselves to you, body and soul, in the most violent way possible.
also if otto manages to read the tome once its restored... he's gonna figure out rbd.
#rezero#otto suwen#natsuki subaru#arc 8 spoilers#yes i KNOW another ottosuba post but i need u to know this ok. their devotion is so so bad its like theyre looking in a mirror. they found#another person thats just as insane as they are about this. not that the other people subarus close with Arent capable of being like this#but ottos like. the person thats Readily going out of his way to be insane about it. does that make sense. this is what roswaal was telling#otto about. opposing emisuba is a toxin. its gonna kill him. we're already seeing the beginnings of this bc we Know ottos a hypocritical#ass who wants to sacrifice anything for subarus sake but of course subarus not allowed to do the same for him. except subaru wouldnt like#otto doing this and then subaru sacrifices himself for otto bc subaru would do that for all of his loved ones. its a CYCLE its a LOOP...#i have many thoughts on what would happen if only otto specifically figured out rbd but i suppose i could leave that for another post.#bc its one thing if otto finds out abt rbd with a group of people. its another thing if only HE finds out bc then hes gonna handle it#differently. make whole plans. etc etc.#also YES otto of course wants and Will comfort subaru whenever he can but theres no denying he will be upset and pissed about rbd. not just#bc subarus reckless but also bc its Unfair to subaru to have such a horrifying power. but also otto knows that power is why subarus still#here. its complicated.
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i already dont respond well to guys when i go out but i swear i getso nasty when im drinking and dancing with my friends and a guy tries to approach me. like there is NOTHING that will kill a vibe faster for me
#if im drunk i will just stop moving and start glaring until my friends say 'shes not interested sorry' for me bc. no#unreasonable? absolutely. not going to stop though#this is why i ONLY go out with a specific group of people. they know the drill
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT
hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.
while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.
i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously
lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU.
unfortunately i will also have to decline.
the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.
sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.
this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.
but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.
regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?
without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.
to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?
so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’
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trojan war tumblr simulator
🌊 is-the-sea-wine-dark-today
YOU BET IT IS
#the wine dark sea!!!!!!!!!!!! #wine dark sea #wine dark sea posting
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✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo follow
why is achilles the only demigod who's Like That? like he's my boy but u don't see memnon or aeneas or sarpedon acting like him on the reg. why is he so maladjusted? like specifically? I saw his mother once and was so terrified by the sight of a goddess I flung myself to the ground and hid my face in the dirt til she left but I still don't think that accounts for it idk
🏘️ nobody1020
it's blonde man syndrome hope this helps
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⚔️ sonoftydeus
opening my askbox so that we can discuss strategies on taking troy!
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anonymous asked: we should all go home :)
⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:
FUCK OFF AGAMEMNON I WANT REAL SUGGESTIONS
50 notes
nobody1020 asked: do u like..... horses
⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:
odysseus do I even wanna know where this is going
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⌛ isthetrojanwaroveryet?
year 9, day 234: still no....
#all our admins keep DYING
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‼️ trojan-confessions follow
I think my wife might be sending me anon hate :/ keep getting asks like 'hope u die on the battlefield tomorrow silly slag' and 'menelaus should have curbstomped you' and in her big tapestry of warriors she made me look stupid
🐴 horsetaminghector follow
lmaooo is this paris??
🔮 cryinglikecassandra follow
kinda think helen should send MORE anon hate idk
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❓ myrmidons-confessions
I was the one who wrote the achilles/agamemnon 100k slowburn enemies to lovers rpf and put it on the group chat but now patroclus is calling me 'agachilles boy' and laughing about it and asking if I can proofread his mock bardic epic where all his dogs are heroes and killing people, so I fear I've made a mistake. I also can't look achilles in the eye anymore... but honestly I've never seen proof he can read so I might be safe
❓ myrmidons-confessions
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👑 kingofmycenae
👍🏻 ajaxthegreat
achilles is DEAD and ur posting CRAB RAVE?????
🏘️ nobody1020
I think that's why he's posting it ngl
300 notes
😹 deiphobus42069
imagine being the achaeans and your best warrior gets killed by PARIS, after everyone else had awesome deaths at the hands of sarpedon or hector or memnon... like that's literally so embarassing I just know achilles is fucking fuming down in hades rn. I bet the achaeans are gonna put around that paris was guided by apollo, or that paris happened to hit his only weak spot..... anything 2 try and make it less cringe.... lol lol we're popping the biggest bottles tonight. hope helen's there
🐆 leopardskiniscool
???????????????
#I mean. yeah. but also. #deiphobus wtf I thought we were chill
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#hope everyone can be normal about the outcome!!! :)
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🧑🏻 randotrojansoldier-deactivated-8578543
so excited to go back onto the field of battle tomorrow! sure hope I don't encounter any of the big-name heroes
🗣️ homer follow
I hope you don't too! I'm sure you'll do great!
🐎 antilochussss
not the direct address????
✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo
direct address got him :(
3000 notes
💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow
fuck my job so much I hope that this wooden horse tribute to the gods turns out to have some guys inside or something just so I can DO something rather than standing here like a twat with my spear
💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow
by ares this can't be happening
345 notes
⚔️ sonoftydeus reblogged menelauskingofsparta
do NOT order achilles from shein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#oh yeah #I was stuck with temu achilles in the trojan horse for six hours #and by hour two agamemnon had suggested killing and eating him #and odysseus was threatening to 'send him to meet his father' #and it's not even like there's any kleos in killing priam!!! #anti neoptolemus #neoptolemus defenders dni #vent tags
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#taking a break from my actual academic essay about the iliad to make this terrible terrible post#I don't think there's any proof everyone hated neoptolemus. BUT.#but if I'd been at troy for 10 years and achilles' fuckass teenage son pulled up with the bloodlust of an xl bully I'd have been. displeased#iliad#the iliad#trojan war#achilles#ajax#odysseus#homer#epic cycle#unreality#tumblr simulator#greek mythology#my post
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Not proud to be here.
--
Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.
The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.
It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.
Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.
And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"
Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.
--
On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.
#my art#lgbtq+#lgbtqia#queer#aromantic#aro#aromantic asexual#aroace#aspec#social commentary#aro tag#eyestrain#<- idk?#kissing#long post#aphobia#arophobia#vent art
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"Did you know?"
SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member! reader
genre: angst, hurt/comfort
wc: ~4,500
cw: slight violence, swearing, reader has to go to the hospital
summary: some online rumors cause turmoil within the group, and it seems the members’ concerns were certainly not without reason
A/N: Here's another angsty 9th member fic for you guys, hope you enjoy! My requests are still open, so if you have any ideas, feel free to send them in!
Likes/reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!
Part 2 | Happy Scrolling! | Masterlist
Today was the first date of your North American tour, landing you guys in the beautiful city of Los Angeles, California. Your managers allowed you the morning to explore the city, given you had constant security. They made you specifically promise to abide by these rules, as you had a habit of sneaking off to see fans on your own. What can you say? Security could be annoying, and your fans were always the sweetest.
This little habit of yours not only made management anxious, but also your members. They knew you could be innocent and credulous when it came to other people, always wanting to believe there was good in everyone. While this may be true, people's best intentions sometimes went out the window when confronted with their favorite Kpop idols.
"Ok, first the art museum for Hyunjin, then Griffith Park, and then the nice breakfast cafe down the street from the venue. Anything else?" Chan reads off your planned itinerary, glancing upwards at you guys.
"Yea, I said I wanted to go to the Santa Monica Pier. They have the cutest attractions there," you say, repeating yourself for what felt like the hundredth time that day. You were the only one wanting to go, all the other members not wanting to risk getting sick on fair food and carnival rides before the concert.
"Yes, and I already acknowledged the fact that we will not be going there today. And we, includes you, meaning you will also not be sneaking off to go by yourself," Chan pointedly looks to you, raising an eyebrow in challenge.
"What makes you think I'd ever do that?" you give him a cheeky smile, tilting your head ever so slightly.
"Don't look at me like that. You know exactly why I'd think that."
You drop your innocent act, giving him a bored look in return.
Chan gets notified that the vans have arrived, so you all pack up your things and head to the hotel elevator. The boys roughhouse in the hallway, Seungmin almost tackling Jeongin to the ground. This is quickly stopped by Minho, reminding them they can't get hurt before the concert tonight. They roll their eyes at him but oblige.
Leaving the hotel, you all jump in the cars, embarking on the short drive to the art museum. Your van consists of Seungmin and Felix sitting in the middle set of seats, while you're squished in the back between Chan and Minho. The air is weirdly tense and quiet, everyone seemingly too occupied with their phones. Besides Chan describing the itinerary this morning, everyone has been quiet all day.
You feel Chan's watchful gaze slide to your screen, and you pull away, leaning towards Minho. "Do you mind?" you sass.
"I do actually. What are you looking at on there, any cute boys?"
"Give me a break, we have a dating ban," you scoff, turning your phone back off and sliding it into your crossbody bag.
You continue to sit in silence until you arrive, not wanting to deal with Chan's wandering eyes on your Instagram feed.
Finally arriving at the art museum, everyone piles out of the vans. Fans line the sidewalk, and a grin spreads across your face. You step out of line quickly, wanting to go over to a particularly young fan. She looks around 8 or 9, and she has a poster of you in hand with a black Sharpie. What's the harm in giving this young girl a quick signature?
Within your first few steps, your arm is aggressively pulled backwards, and you stumble into Minho. He gives you a stern look, and you know, especially with this many people around, not to question him. You fall back in line, looking back to give the young girl a sympathetic smile as you're guided the rest of the way into the museum.
You guys walk through the entrance of the museum, officially out of sight from all the fans. Minho gives you another pointed look, finally releasing your arm from his grasp. "We told you, no funny business today. Tonight's important, and we need you in one piece for it."
Your eyes widen at his tone of voice, not appreciating the seriousness behind it. You know you tend to break some rules here and there, but it's always light-hearted. You'd never intentionally put yourself or anyone else in danger.
You guys explore the museum exhibits in peace, security doing an excellent job of keeping the fans outside. You, not having much of an interest in art, spend most of your time watching Hyunjin and the way he admires the artwork. He really is an artist at heart, and you love the way he can appreciate each individual piece.
While staring at Hyunjin, who's admiring an intensely beautiful painting of a riverbed with flowers, you suddenly feel eyes on you. You quickly spin around to be met with the stares of Felix, Jisung, and Jeongin. They quickly look away, busying themselves looking at the statues next to them.
You give them a squinted look, walking over to them. "What is wrong with you guys today? Why is everyone acting so funny?" you confront them, furrowing your brows.
Jisung stumbles over his words, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Felix jumps in, giving Jisung a strange look, "We were just talking about how beautiful you look today." He comes over to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
You don't stay there long, removing his arm from around you and walking away. "Weird," you mutter to yourself.
You guys finish up in the museum shortly after. Piling back into the cars, you're once again stuck between Minho and Chan. This time, however, Chan keeps constant conversation with you. He rambles on about the concert that night, what he had for dinner last night, practically anything to keep his mouth moving. While this is still strange behavior, you prefer this to radio silence.
Arriving at Griffith Park, you guys make your way up the hill terrain. All the guys want to take pictures, planning to post them to Instagram later that week. You think the perfect spot for pictures would be the Hollywood sign, so you start to make your way towards it.
You don't think to alert anyone, as it's within eyesight, and you prefer to take your own pictures, anyway. You came prepared, bringing your tripod in your backpack.
Before you make it very far, only walking about 25 feet away from the group, you hear your name being yelled. You turn back around, seeing an angry Minho storming towards you.
"What'd we say about going off on your own? Why are you being so difficult today?" he asks, his voice rising with every word he spits at you.
You don't know what's gotten everyone's panties in a bunch today, but you've just about had enough. The atmosphere has been tense all day, and you're officially sick of it.
"Why is everyone being so tense today? Gosh, I'm only going up to the sign!" You throw your arm behind, motioning to the spot only about 50 feet away from where you and Minho stand.
"No, you will not be going up there, especially not by yourself. Stay with the rest of the group and stop being stubborn!" Minho's overly-critical eyes stare you down. He steps toward you, grabbing you by the elbow for the second time that day.
You wretch yourself away from him. "I've had enough with being man-handled today. I'm done! I'm going to wait in the van. Have fun without me!" you yell at him, stalking off towards the parking lot.
You see everyone had stopped what they were doing upon hearing the loud yells, and they're all watching you as you hurriedly make your way back to the vans. Your face flushes, embarrassment taking over your features.
You pull on the door to the van, realizing it's locked. You stomp your foot and whip around, finding everyone still staring at you with varying expressions. "Someone please unlock this door before I have a mental breakdown," you beg, feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack taking over your body.
The driver, just feet away sitting on a bench, searches for the keys in his jacket, finally unlocking the door for you. You climb in, slamming the door behind you.
You stumble over the front row of seats, laying down in the back away from the concerned gazes of your members and the rest of the staff. Your chest feels constricted, the air in your lungs feeling limited in supply. Tears stream down your face at the unwanted advances of an anxiety attack.
The fight with Minho paired with the building tension all day, along with the nerves for tonight's concert mixed into a deadly concoction in your brain, all too much for you to handle.
You're not left alone with your thoughts for long, the door to the van opening only minutes later. Hyunjin crawls in, shutting the door behind him.
"Hey, hey, shhh. It's ok, everything will be ok," he coos, rubbing your back. He's squeezed himself down in between the middle row of seats, his elbows resting on the armrests beside him.
"I'm sick of today," tears slide down you cheeks, your voice audibly shaking. "Everyone is being so distant and mean. What'd I do?"
"No honey, you didn't do anything. Everyone's just a little stressed for tonight. There's been some stuff circulating around online putting everyone on edge, but it'll all be fine," he reassures you, trying to roll you onto your other side so he can see your face. Your mind is too pre-occupied to register his words, letting them travel in one ear and out the other.
You allow him to turn you around, uncomfortably shifting in the small space. Your glossy eyes meet his, and he's quick to wrap you up into a tight hug, your own arms squished against his chest.
"Everyone's finishing up out there, then we're going to head to the venue a little earlier than planned. Does that sound ok?" he asks, affectionately running his fingers through your hair.
"Yea," you sniffle, pressing your face firmly into his shoulder. "I don't want to sit by Minho. Please don't make me," you cry harder at the thought.
"Alright, alright, shhh. You're only working yourself up more. You know we have to stay in our assigned vehicles, but I'm sure Seungmin and Felix will switch spots with him and Chan."
After a few more minutes of consoling from Hyunjin, everyone else has finished their photoshoots. Hyunjin leaves, but not before giving you another firm squeeze. Seungmin and Felix pile into the van first, both of them coming to sit beside you. You telepathically thank Hyunjin for asking them in passing.
Felix rests a comforting hand on your knee throughout the ride to the venue. Chan and Minho are silent, completely engrossed in their phones once again.
Once at the venue, you stay far from Minho, not wanting to deal with his negativity. You notice the security is amped up a bit compared to last tour, guards standing at every door leading to your dressing rooms. You figure it's because your band has gotten so much bigger, the Stay Family always growing exponentially.
In your dressing room, Felix occupies the chair by the mirror, your stylists brushing shades of brown and pink across his eyelids. Changbin stands nearby, the hair stylist just finishing up with a couple extra spurts of hairspray. You lay on the couch while you wait, playing Among Us with Jeongin and Hyunjin who reside in the other dressing room.
Changbin and Felix offered to go with you to your dressing room, and you gladly accepted their offer. You explained to them you didn't necessarily want to be alone; you just didn't want to be by Minho.
The stylists start to work on you once they're done with the boys. They finish your hair and makeup just in time for soundcheck, applying some last minute powder to your nose before sending you off to the stage.
Rehearsals go by smoothly. You and Minho are able to put your issues behind you for now. Your fans are so important to you, and the last thing you want to do is ruin their night because of some petty argument.
Management sends you off to the dressing rooms once again, satisfied with the quality of the soundcheck. You follow your members off stage before departing down a separate hallway in search of the bathroom.
You walk for another few seconds, taking a few random turns before your met with the door to the ladies' restroom. You do your business and take your time getting back to the dressing room as you guys don't go on for another hour. The venue your playing is beautiful, so you take a slight detour, admiring all the nice architecture.
You're startled from your peaceful thoughts once again by a furious Minho. "I cannot believe you'd go off on your own again. After all we've told you today, how could you possibly think that's ok?" he throws his hands up in disbelief, his tone snarky.
"I had to use the restroom! You guys have never had a problem with me walking around the venues by myself, why now? You have been up my ass all day. Leave me the hell alone for awhile." You push him out of the way, ramming his shoulder with your own in the tight hallway.
"Do you think this is fun for me, huh? Yelling at you all day long? Did you ever stop to think for one second that there may be something bigger going on here?" His voice sounds exhausted, leaving you slightly concerned because you still have hours of performing to do. However, your anger gets the best of you, and your concern gets pushed deep below the surface.
"Well, I'm sorry that I can't read your damn mind. If there's something bigger going on, then why hasn't anyone told me? I'm a big girl, not some toddler. I am a part of this group the same as everyone else, so why are things being kept from me?"
Minho starts to speak, but you immediately cut him off, not wanting to hear the lame excuses you're sure he's come up with. "You know what, I don't even wanna hear it. My mental health has went to shit today because of you, and if I wanna be able to perform in 30 minutes, I need to be away from you. We can talk about this later," you finish, rushing off to your dressing room, leaving Minho standing alone in the hallway.
Everyone seems to have deemed your dressing room the hangout spot until the concert officially begins, as all the other boys have gathered around, making themselves comfortable amongst the laid out furniture in the room.
You all make conversation, laughing at Changbin's cringey jokes; you're happy for the distraction, allowing your mind to wander from the fight you had with Minho.
10 minutes before you go on, management comes to fetch you to get ready, providing you all with in-ears and microphones.
Your pre-performance jitters have made themselves known, but you've been doing this long enough that you can turn that nervous energy into excitement.
5 minutes before you go on, you and the boys gather in a circle. Chan leads, knowing exactly how to get everyone hype before going on.
You're all standing now just outside of view from the fans on the side of the stage, waiting for your cue from management. Once they give it, you all make your way out onto the stage, relishing in the sounds of the screaming Stay that form the crowd.
All is going smoothly as you finish your center part during the bridge of Lalala, and you make your way to the side of the stage, waiting for the part in the song where you re-enter the choreo. With all your attenton focused on the performance, you fail to notice the commotion coming from the crowd just a few feet from you.
Your attention is pulled away from the performance when you're tackled from behind. You scream in agony and fear, having landed painfully on your wrist. If the snap you felt is anything to go by, it's definitely broken. However, this isn't your main concern at the moment. You open your eyes, and they’re immediately drawn to the shiny pocket knife the man has in his hand. He's quick to slash a small cut into your forearm before he is aggressively pushed off of you. Your attacker is taken down by security; they immediately throw a pair of handcuffs on him, taking him off stage.
The crowd has broke out into panicked cries, all of Stay wondering what happened and if you're ok.
Your members are quick to rush over to you, abandoning the remainder of the Lalala choreo. While it's felt like an eternity since you were tackled, it really only took security a few seconds to get the situation under control, and only a few more seconds for your members to surround you.
"What hurts?" Chan panics, crouching down beside you.
"My wrist," you sob, totally overwhelmed from all the commotion. The crowd is still roaring and your wrist throbbing like crazy. The cut on your arm is no comparison to the pain radiating from your wrist.
"Alright, let's move her off stage," a paramedic pushes through the barricade your members have formed around you and helps you stand to your feet. You quickly move off stage, wanting to get out of the crowd's view as soon as possible.
Once off to the side, one paramedic inspects your wrist, gently grasping your forearm to hold you steady, while another wraps the cut on your other arm.
"It definitely looks broken. We should get you to the hospital to get it X-rayed and possibly casted," he explains.
Minho steps up next to you, your earlier arguments swept from your mind. "I'll go with her. You guys finish up here. Probably should cut the setlist short anyway; we're already behind schedule."
You follow behind the paramedics, them leading you outside to the ambulance. Minho walks beside you, providing you familiarity in this uncomfortable situation.
The ride to the hospital is silent except for the beeping of the machines the paramedics have you connected to. Minho holds your unbroken hand the whole ride, your disagreements on the backburner for the moment.
The more time that passes, the sorer your body becomes. Your arms feel heavy, and your back feels like it was beaten with a hammer. You realize you've probably been in shock this whole time, and the attacker did more damage than you originally thought.
You finally find yourself in a hospital room, Minho pulling the chair up beside you.
"Well," the doctor says, pulling your X-ray up onto the screen, "This cut doesn't require stitches, just keep it bandaged and medicated. We'll give you a Tetanus shot for it, though, since it was done with a knife. As for your wrist, it's definitely broken. The good news, though, is that it doesn't look like it will require surgery. What color cast do you want?"
You're expression appears dazed to Minho and the doctor, your mind completely preoccupied. "Black," you mumble, just loud enough for him to hear you.
The doctor nods his head, disappearing from the room to retrieve the supplies to apply your cast and the shot.
You look to Minho, finally feeling like you have processed everything that's happened. "What the hell happened? How did that guy get past security, and with a knife especially?"
"Honestly, we're not sure. Management and security are reviewing the camera footage now. We were trying to be cautious; there was so much extra security tonight. It should've been impossible for anyone to get to you."
You process his words, a realization forming in your mind. "Did you guys know something about this beforehand?" Your eyebrows furrow. If they knew something, they for sure would have told you, too, right? "Is this what you were talking about in the hallway before the concert?"
"Y/N," he sighs, giving you a look full of remorse.
"No. I don't want any bullshit," you snap, "Did you or did you not know something was wrong before the concert? Is that why you have been giving me a hard time all day?" You start to put the puzzle pieces together, the day replaying in your head.
The overprotectiveness, the extra security, them not wanting you to go on your phone- they knew.
Minho looks to the ground, his shoulders slumping. "Look, we find out about some rumors going around online this morning, but-"
"Get out," you say, your voice tense.
His head snaps up, his remorseful eyes meeting your fiery ones. "What?"
"I said, Get. Out." Your unbroken hand aggressively points to the door.
"I'm not leaving you here alone. Let's just talk about this-"
"You had all day to talk to me about this, but now that I'm injured and traumatized you want to talk about it?" Your incredibly angry, and your words are filled with venom. "Get out, get out, get out!"
"Do you really think it's the best idea to be by yourself right now?" His eyes are filled with sorrow, his hands in dire need to reach out to you.
"If you don't leave right now, I will scream."
His watchful gaze rests on you for a couple seconds, before he finally gives in, rising to his feet. He walks toward the door. "We'll send a car to come get you when you're ready. There's security out here waiting, and your manager is out in the hall. I'll see you when you get back to the hotel."
He disappears out the door, once again leaving you alone with your thoughts. How dare they not tell you? There are threats going around online about you, and you're the last one they tell? In what world does that make any sense?
The doctor comes back in the room just a few minutes later. He's quick with putting your cast on, and he sends you on your way, requesting you stop by the front desk to sign a few documents before you go.
You follow him out the door, meeting up with your manager and security right outside the room.
After signing the paperwork, your manager leads you outside to the car that has been called for you.
Fans must've found out which hotel they took to you, and the outside of the hotel is flooded with Stay. Normally, you'd be ecstatic to see so many of them. However, you're exhausted and hurt, so you bring your hood over your head and stare at the ground, thankful for the security that surrounds you.
You climb in the back of the car, your manager following suit. "Why was I not informed about the threats online?" you question, your eyebrows furrowing in anger.
"The concert was going to go on no matter what, so we figured it'd be easier to get you out there if you didn't know about them."
Your jaw drops at her statement. "That is not fair, how can you just assume that? I had a right to know about this," you argue.
"This isn't really up for discussion. It's the way we chose to handle it, and that's that."
You're in disbelief at her careless attitude. "How did the guys find out about it then?"
"Nosy little shits," she laughs, but you're not sure how she's finding any humor in this situation. "They saw them online themselves. We practically had to threaten their contracts to get them not to tell you."
Your heart constricts at this new information. Emotions flood your system, and you're suddenly feeling incredibly guilty for your interaction with Minho in the hospital room. All the arguments between the two of you flood your mind, and remorse rushes your body.
They have just been trying to keep you safe all day. Trying to keep you off your phone, not letting you wander by yourself, the whispers behind your back. It all makes sense now. And you realize you've been a royal bitch all day to the wrong people.
You turn to look out the window for the remainder of the drive, knowing it's useless to argue with your manager. What she says goes. This doesn't mean you're not angry with her and the rest of management, though. This conversation needs to be had in a professional setting, not in the backseat of a car when you're by yourself.
Once you arrive at the hotel, your quick to jump out of the car, wanting to be away from your careless manager. However, you stand directly outside the door, patiently waiting for security to escort you to your room.
They walk you all the way up to your shared room with Seungmin, and you're not surprised to find all of them waiting for you when you open the door.
They're conversations halt, all eyes snapping to you. You walk in and set your bag down on the bed. Your eyes well up with tears for what feels like the hundredth time that day. "I'm so sorry," you cry, afraid to meet their concerned gazes. "Today has just been so overwhelming, and my manager sucks, and my back hurts, and I have been so rude to you guys all day-," your words are cut short by another sob wracking through your sore body. You sniffle some more, bringing your sleeve up to wipe at your face. "Min, I'm so sorry for kicking you out. I should've just listened to what you had to say. I'm such a horrible person."
All the guys are quick to stand, not wanting you to rile yourself up anymore. Hyunjin comes over to you first, gently guiding you to sit on the bed. Everyone else follows, all of you now gathered on the queen sized bed. "Listen," Minho starts, comforting you, "Absolutely none of this is your fault, you hear?" He pulls you down next to him, his arm coming up around your shoulders. "Today has been an awful day, and you don't need to work yourself up about how you treated us."
"Yea, but-"
"No buts, you need to rest. We are not mad at you."
"Not one bit. We love you so much, and we're so sorry you had to go through that. Are you ok? How's your wrist?" Chan asks from the edge of the bed, placing a comforting hand on your ankle.
"It hurts, but the doctor gave me some painkillers to take for the next few days. My cut didn't need stitches, but I have to keep it bandaged until it heals," you explain, your words coming out steadier than before.
Your cries eventually calm down, leaving you sniffling every now and again. Felix notices you've calmed down, and he nudges your leg, opening his arms for you. You crawl into them, relaxing into his calm and comforting embrace. The rest of them are quick to follow, creating one big group hug.
You know this situation is certainly not over. I'm sure you guys will press charges, and you'll probably have to release a statement of some kind. It seems that management and you guys have come to a silent agreement to deal with everything in the morning, and you couldn’t be more grateful for it.
~ ~ ~
Part 2
#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz oneshots#stray kids imagines#stray kids oneshot#skz imagines#skz ninth member#skz 9th member#stray kids ninth member#stray kids 9th member#skz angst#stray kids angst#stray kids hurt/comfort#skz hurt/comfort#part 1/2
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I can just imagine fujo neet reader practicing different sex position with rin to make sure she gets the proportions right.
✮ tags ; fem!reader, sexual tension, rin's pov, RIN IS KIND OF MEAN TO HER BUT HE WANTS HER SO BAD FDKJJS, reader is a fujoshi and bl mangaka, pre-relationship, they work together, part of a ficverse i haven't written yet Sorry, ONE JOKE ABOUT RIN WANTING TO OFF HIMSELF, SUPER SUGGESTIVE LOL 18+
✮ wc ; 3.5k (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!)
✮ a/n ; i had to do this for my sanity. i promise i will write them a proper fic with them i promise.
You never text Rin.
Not really. Not first at least. It's a new... friendship. Kind of. Sort of. Most of your communication thus far has been through meetings and random in-person chance encounters. Outside of that, Rin will call you since it's faster. If you do "text", it's mostly through twitter DM's.
There's a discord server your fans run, and you pop in there often enough. He's had the invitation extended but declined unilaterally, since he'd rather not see himself fucking Isagi anymore than he already has in his short, miserable career.
It surprised him this morning, seeing your message flash across the top of his screen. Asking, specifically, for him to come over and help you with something related to the new manga you were writing. He had it in his right mind to decline, but after learning it wasn't a doujin for him, he semi-reluctantly agreed.
Rin doesn't know when exactly your relationship to him grew this...comfortable. Inviting him over to your house, begging him for favors, not wincing every time he talks to you. Rin isn't an extrovert but compared to you he's a social butterfly. And your aversion to people in general, Rin thought, would prevent you from doing anything more than squeak at him forever just like you did when he met you.
(Though nothing in his life has been normal since your arrival in it. He's not sure why you would remain unchanged when he certainly hasn't.)
He doesn't know what to feel when you ask him for a favor, and he doesn't know what force of nature compels him to go. If it's morbid curiosity or annoyance or something else even worse.
It was compelling enough to take the train all the way out to Machida - an hour long trip from his own place. His manager hounded him to take you something, so he has a bag of ginseng energy drinks and snacks with him as a gift. He took the bus with his mask on, and then walked all the way to your building.
Your apartment is tucked somewhere classically suburban - attached at the far end of a residential street and behind concrete support beams for a highway just overhead. Cherry blossom trees and other shades of white flowers grow around it in thick patches, making the entrance hard to find. Rin would've had trouble if you didn’t give him details on exactly where to go.
It's an older building, stone walls worn and grass-stained from age. At the gate are groups of old people talking amongst each other as they sort through recycling and trash. All visor hats and sunspots, they fawn over Rin for a long while before he goes in and interrogates him with questions. None of them know him, which is relieving. It quickly graduates to them asking who he's there to visit, if he has a girlfriend or not.
All of them ooh and aah when he mentions your name, say something about being relieved she's found a man so handsome and that Rin should marry you because even though you're a little strange you're a good girl. Rin does not have the time nor energy to correct them - only nods and bows his head and leaves.
On the elevator ride up to your floor, he can't help but think repeatedly that this isn't the kind of place he'd expect you to live. He thought it'd be out in the middle of nowhere, maybe in a damp and broken building.
But this is a nice place with nice people, vibrant and colorful. Totally opposite from what he considers your personality.
Suitable or not, Rin manages to make it to your floor without a hitch.
He finds you, then, as he'd expect. Down a long hall, behind an unassuming white door. When you open it, you're a mess. Your hair completely unkempt, face greasy, a wild look in your eyes and complete surprise in your expression as if you didn't invite him over. You do, however, manage to invite him in without stuttering or stumbling over your words foolishly like you did the first time you spoke to him.
Another surprise is how... clean your living room is. It's lived in but he was expecting more mess in there. Your bedroom is in a similar state, undoubtedly messy but not terrible. Your NEET tendencies finally end up showing when you drag Rin into your office where you draw your manga.
It's not dirty but it's cluttered. There's a pull out sofa on one wall, with a blanket and pillow littered about and pages upon pages of paper sheets with scrapped panels about the floor. One wall has a bunch of post-its with several notes in both English and Japanese, and another has tacked up pieces of art. Both yours and other peoples. He chooses to ignore the ones of him and Isagi, The walls themselves are cream colored and uninteresting and the wood floors are slippery. At the far end of the room is a spread of desks, a PC set-up and a professional looking tablet among various art supplies in stacked boxes.
It's this room you bring Rin into without explaining yourself at all, mumbling and muttering as you give him a place to sit and go back to your work for fifteen silent minutes.
When you're finally finished doing whatever the fuck you were doing, you turn yourself back towards Rin. Bluelight glasses fall down the bridge of your nose as you swivel around in your chair - your sweatpants half pulled up your leg with the other pulled down. You're wearing fuzzy socks with Naruto characters on them.
You stare at him, pulling your glasses off and rubbing your eyes - dark circles under them.
"Uhm," Your voice is clipped and thick with exhaustion. "You came."
Rin deadpans. "You asked me to come."
"I thought you'd say no."
He did too. He doesn't respond back. You chew your lips, already anxious and Rin resists the urge to say something about it.
"Okay. Uhm. Please don't get mad," You start with and then explain, looking away. Your hands pull your sleeves over your palms. "So. Like. For my new series, I'm finally getting to the sex scene but I've never drawn characters with an intense height difference like this. And I need... new reference photos.... and uhm," You rub your feet together on your chair where you sit "Well our height differences and size is the exact one my characters have. So."
Rin stares at you. "So?"
"SoIwaswonderingifyou'dtakereferenceimagesforsexpositionswithme,"
Rin feels his jaw lock. "Slower."
You frown and look away, tucking your chin with embarrassment. "I was uhm, like, wondering if you'd take... take the uhm, sex position reference photos with me, please."
"What?"
You clasp your hands together, immediately prostrating yourself by throwing yourself down the ground. He flinches back, wondering if you're gonna hold onto his leg next.
"Please, please help me. You're the exact height of my seme and you uhm have similar builds and he's doing the most of the legwork. The poses are a little bit hard but I want them to look good or Minami-san will eat me and I'm scared of her, please help me."
"Who is Minami-san?"
You sniffle, on the verge of tears just thinking about it. "My editor. She used to be my fan. She's scary. Please, Rin-kun, please."
"What the hell did you do before?"
You frown at him, big wet puppy-dog eyes.
"It was hard. Sometimes I'd pose with my big stuffed animals and make up the proportions. Oh and usually watched porn and stuff. Sometimes I'd get lucky with stockphotos. But I don’t get the angle exactly right unless I have good references."
Rin wonders if anything you have ever said has processed in your mind before saying it. He doubts it for some reason.
"So," Rin pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes the image of you humping your stuffed animals out of his head. "You're asking me to.. pose with you?"
You nod and chew your lip. "Please, I promise I'd never ask you for this if I wasn't s-scared of Minami-san! Please?"
"I should make you pay me for this," He sneers. You flinch back and close your eyes.
"I'm sorry." You whine wetly, but then open your eyes again anyway. "Please help me."
Rin doesn't know why he helps you. Maybe you're just too pathetic for him to ignore. Maybe he's a masochist. Maybe inhaling the same air as Bachira last week turned him stupid.
He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Fine."
__
If Rin didn't believe you before when you told him you make your own references, he'd definitely believe you after you take him to your bedroom.
Your bed is in the center of your room, instead of being pushed against a wall. Large stuffed animals laid in one corner. On both sides of the room, are makeshift digital camera stands and remote-controlled lighting among another remote for said cameras. There's about 4-6 angles from what you explained to Rin, and a few adjustable lights. It's an elaborate set-up and takes the kind of dedication Rin can only imagine a hardcore fujoshi freak like yourself thinking up.
All of this to mostly draw porn of him and his rival. He tries not to think about it too hard because he thinks it's going to give him an aneurysm. Rin sits at the edge of your bed as you adjust each of the cameras individually.
"What do you do if it's not on a bed?"
You flinch like you aren't expecting him to talk. "Uhm. I either simulate as best I can o-or move my things and bed around. It's why I moved my desk to my office."
Rin stares at you. "You take it seriously."
You nod meekly. "Producing high-quality doujin is what made me money, so I have to work hard. Being poor is tough."
If Rin didn't find you so unbearable he might find that awe-inspiring in his own fucked up way.
"Okay. Everything is set-up. Now for the poses," You say, suddenly sparking back to life. Rin sits and watches. "They're having sex on a public beach so the bed and the way the seme sort of sinks into the sand will be good... I think the bridge one is the one we'll do first."
"The bridge?"
You nod, talking in short sentences. But Rin can tell this is where you're comfortable, doing things for this... hobby. Your usual constant embarrassment and shame seem to disappear when it comes to it. It's fascinating like a car crash. "Uhm. You have to stand on your knees and then, I'll lay on my back and arch my back up to meet your... y'know. It'll emphasize the height difference."
Rin stares at you agape. You take the remote control for your cameras in your hands and look at him expectantly.
Rin doesn't know whats wrong with him. Why the hell did he agree to this?
"Do you want me to take my jacket off?"
You nod, surprised. He shrugs the thing off of his shoulders and tosses it onto the floor.
Rin, per your instruction, gets into the position in the middle of the bed. He stands on his knees waiting for you. You join him a minute after, squinting at your phone screen beforehand. He isn't sure what he's expecting as a result of your ask, but he sure is shocked when he finds you placing your feet flat on the bed next to his knees and pushing yourself up for your crotch to meet his.
He knows that’s what you said but your shamelessness proves to be… shocking.
He tries not to let it show. His jaw ticks. His face feels warm but his expression remains neutral all the same. You shift and adjust and don't seem concerned at all - like it doesn't occur to you that this is in any way socially unacceptable. Or it's unfathomable Rin would take advantage of this. That this is weird, or could be interpreted in less than innocent ways. Rin knows you're so out of touch that it probably isn't. That this is, to you, just considered a favor which is partially why he even agrees.
But you're mid-brushing up against his bulge. The angle of your back forms a triangle, your arms laid flat at your sides as you squirm and push. And your expression shifts, deep in thought.
"Uhm, like, would you mind p-putting your hands on my hips? Kind of squeezing tight like it's," You flush this time, but Rin harbors doubt it's about him. "Like it feels good I guess? Like hard, and stuff so you can see the indent."
He's so astonished, he does it on autopilot. Neutral and even. He lets his hands grab your hips and holds tight just as you ask. Your long, loose sweatshirt falls down revealing the soft skin of your tummy. He can see the tops of your underwear, the thin cotton kind that come in 6-packs with a single bow in the middle in a grey color.
You don't seem to care about it. Rin shouldn't either, but his body does seem to care. His brain does. Something is happening in his gut. Anger maybe. Some cheap, frustrated desire to make fun of you.
Instead the words he's been wanting to ask since you proposed this tumble out of his mouth. He stares at you.
"Is this the first time someone's done this with you?"
You jump with a start, but remain in position. You take the pictures first, six clicks in a row before answering.
"H-huh? Why-why are you asking that?"
He doesn't know. Really. And he knows how it sounds. Rin doesn't say anything and you fold under the immense pressure of his gaze.
"S-stop staring," You say, and take a few more pictures, lowering your back just a little but still staying up right. "And no. No one tall enough or with the right physique."
There is another gnawing question, another burning curiosity. He makes his voice as even and unaffected and apathetic as he can. As mean as possible.
"Have you ever even had sex?"
Your eyes blow wide, but you seem to fall for the persona of apathy, curious boredom and cruelty. Worse, you seem a little used to it. You squirm this time and Rin holds you firmly in place. Your voice is small.
"Uhm, like, once I guess. I-it was with a guy, I didn't really date him but he seemed interested in me and I didn't think I'd ever have the opportunity again s-so I did it and I didn't uhm, it wasn't very good or anything." You reply, and he can feel your toes curl in your socks next to him and his brain feels like it'll melt from out of his ears. "Sorry, I don't-don't think you care about that, just uhm, felt like I should explain."
"Yeah," Rin feels dizzy. "Do you need another pose?"
You blink and then nod. "Yeah! Another one kind of like this, but with the legs like uhm, on your chest and my feet closer to your head. With you leaned back a little. Does that make sense? The butterfly position, I think."
Rin swallows something at the back of throat.
He nods, pulling you into position so easily he can heard you gasp. Your legs straighten against his clothed chest, and your sweatshirt falls far enough to let him see your bra. A fabric sports kind, a little worn - just the logo visible. He doesn't say anything about it, your feet resting near his neck. You make a little soft noise.
"This feels a little difficult to be in. Poor uke. Sorry if this one is kind of weird, but can you put your hands, I dunno, on my ass, I guess? I know that's probably too much but I think it'll be a good detail, so please? I'll pay you"
Rin stares at you, teeth gritting so hard he feels the back of his skull throb. "Fine."
Rin, per your request, puts his hands on your ass. It's easy enough, and he doesn't hold too tight. But it's too intimate, too stupidly fucking intimate, and he can feel you. You're hardly paying attention, caught up in your own head with whatever else. Rin is paying too much attention. Like how your sweatpants aren't thick enough to cover the outline of your frumpy cotton panties and how your soft all over. He's going to kill someone. Maybe himself.
Six more clicks and a little noise of satisfaction.
"Okay!!! I think these will turn out so great, and I can use them later too. Just one more. I have a lot of refs for this position, but uhm - I want to see if I can get the proportions correct, so if you'd please lay down," You tell him with such genuine excitement he can't find it in himself to say anything horribly cruel. "I'll be doing most of the work this time. I just-just need to see how uke will compare..."
You mutter something to yourself as Rin lets you down and lays himself down on your bed. You sit next to him for a long while, squinting at your phone. Rin stares at you as you. Wonders if he's gone completely insane, and tries to ignore the doom of the impending hard-on cozying itself in his pants.
Unceremoniously, you find yourself perching over Rin's lap. Not bothering to give him any pretense, it's the one thing about today that's really getting him.
"Oh, I need my hands for this," You give him the remote and stare down at him wide-eyed, over his lap. This has to be hell. "Could you take the photos this time?"
He closes his eyes and counts to ten and wonders if a concussion has made him insane. "Hm."
You brighten and Rin feels his chest go tight. "Thanks!"
Rin just nods, his mouth drying as you start to move and pose. A picture with your hands next to his head, and anothe r where you're sat up - your hands at your sides. Rin obediently takes pictures when you ask, his entire body tensing every single time you move.
"Okay, last one," You say. This time, you put your hands on his chest. Just the one. You must have something specific in your head that you're wanting to recreate. You bend down close, looking down at him as you do - your other hand clenched.
Rin looks up at you. He should not be thinking about you in any way. He's looking at the way your lips curve and plump and at your bare skin and your dark circles and your stupid licensed anime hoodie. He just gapes at you in confusion and mystique. He's around so many weirdos. It's not like there's anything special about you. You’re just another freak who makes porn of him. Plenty of people do that.
A loser and an idiot with no sense of self-preservation. There's nothing special about this, but Rin hasn’t been able to convince himself of that.
You stare down at him.
"Take a picture?"
Rin looks at you. Studies your expression. You seem like you're thinking. It's the only oppurtunity he has to pry.
"Did you want to ask something?" He says first. “You’re not hard to read.”
You startle, then nod. Your hand is on his chest. It's warm, and smaller than his.
"Oh, I-I guess I was wondering about what you asked me earlier. And uhm, like, I don't know. If you ever did anything. Your relationships aren't in the media and fans speculate but," You fall flat on your words. "I guess I was just curious."
Rin hates this question. It's why he never answers it. Why he hates being called a hearthrob, always too shallow and too personal for his taste.
"Nothing long term or serious. It was most for physical relief." Rin says, almost on autopilot. “Not that’d you know what that’s like.”
Your eyes widen. Rin feels his hands twitch, watching your expression finally grown conscious of him. Lust spreads through you like honey and Rin can see it in how you look. You squirm in his lap. He's not usually so aggressive, not usually one to care about sex in any important way. Not one to brag about something so unbelievably inane and trivial.
But it's bothering him, just how much he's fighting the urge to pin you down and fuck you. You of all people. It's not like him. Rough sex is whatever, but it's bothering him how little any of it seems to register in your head anymore like it once did. You could barely breathe the first time you met.
He doesn't know why he cares that you don’t anymore. He doesn’t give a shit about anything related to you
But the thought nothing seems to bother you anymore bothers him.
"Oh... I see. That's uhm, interesting. I b-bet you have a lot more experience than me. Maybe it'd be a good thing to keep you around for that kind of refernce too," You joke.
Rin lets his hand slip up to your hips without asking, not bothering to hide it anymore. His head feels with nothing but stupid useless thoughts. Thoughts of fucking you in your old, worn clothes and stained shirts and comfortable cotton underwear. Thoughts of your hands clutching at his shoulder all weepy with desire and need and stupidity - your big wide eyes bleary and sensitive. It's cruel how relentlessly he thinks about taking advantage of all your differences. Of how unathletic and awkward and unused to everything you are.
It's horrible just how much he's staving off his own arousal about it. Maybe you're strange habits are infecting him, making him strange too strange. All Rin can think about uselessly is how easily he could put you in your place. Fix you in some strange way. You’d be his to fix and you’d cry and weep and want to run away. Rin wouldn’t let you, keep you pinned and caged like an animal.
His throat feels tight. What is fucking wrong with him today?
Is he that pent up? He stares at you, and gets some passing feeling that there is more to it than that. He closes his eyes.
"Whatever," He says, letting go. You don't seem to notice it again, how thick his voice is getting "Are you almost done?"
You nod and smile. "Yes. Thank you."
Rin feels his heart tug and seethes. “You're welcome."
#return to sender#writing tag#fujoverse#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#bllk x reader#bluelock x reader#THIS IS KIND OF COOKING ME TO DEATRH IM?
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✎ᝰ BAKUGOU KATSUKI ; — bakugou hates feeling jealous. but you make it worthwhile.
࿄ ! warnings — f!reader. absolutely none. sfw. / note. katsuki is a cutie patootie.
jealous bakugou is something else. he doesn’t think he’s all that possessive of you at all - he doesn’t care if your outfit is skimpy or if you have guy friends. bakugou regards himself as very secure in his relationship with you.
until he hears what guys have to say about you. then he gets a little crazy.
it’s an open day where he’s helping a group of lackies and hero interns with integrating into his agency and it’s pretty innocent at first. kiri and deku are doing most of the heavy lifting with talking with the prospective sidekicks and heroes (katsuki is very content with the extras he has already). he’s already kind of distracted by seeing you this morning - you offered to lift a hand and do some extra work around his agency for today due to the unusual amount of people scoping his place out and why would he pass on an offer to see you around his agency all day?
unfortunately for katsuki, it means that he’s being increasingly more distant than he usually is and the interns can feel the disgusted energy emitting from every fibre in his body. it’s not like he’s trying to hide it though - what a waste to have you come to his workplace and only catch glimpses of your hair and your scent.
“kacch- dynamight? what do you look for in a sidekick who wants to potentially join this agency,” asks izuku, pulling his friend out of his thoughts. katsuki looks at the crowd of young, probably high school kids and they basically cower under his gaze. he recognises a few of them from other, unimportant events he can’t seem to specifically recall. god, he wants to bite back at them but he shrugs in annoyance.
“don’t piss me off and do as you’re told. simple as but it seems like you lot would still f-”, deku quickly interjects katsuki and yells out, “okay! let’s take a quick 10 minute break! just have a look around and we’re free if you have any questions you want to ask!”
ᝰᝰᝰᝰᝰ
“what is with you today, kacchan? you’re more… insolent than usual,” asks izuku slowly, watching the expression on his blond’s face meld into a face of indifference.
“maybe it’s the fact that i don’t care about these idiots who’re just making a goddamn mess of the place. i don’t need more extras to fuck shit up f’me,” bakugou grumbles. kirishima pats his moody friends on the back and goes to speak when-
“well at least the rumours about dynamight are true. that guy is a fucking mood killer,” says some guy standing in the corner of the reception area, who looks to be a sidekick and is accompanied by other unknown up and coming ‘extras’ as Katsuki woukd put it.
“tell me about it. the guys here fucking suck. for once, i’m wishing that we were stuck with the female pros instead. have you seen uravity? she’s sexier in real life,” pipes up some other guy and the rest holler and hoot.
the three pros look at each other, with bakugou looking at kirishima and deku with knowing, smug eyes.
“i’m just going to interrupt their conversation-” says kirishima, attempting to walk over until another lackey pipes up.
“but have you seen y/h/n? what a woman. shame she’s not in her hero suit. what i would do for a woman like that,” grunts some pathetic looking guy. he’s spindly and limp and looks akin to a wet noodle.
it doesn’t stop katsuki from seething though.
kirishima and izuku slowly turn to look at their friend - who’s practically steaming in his hero uniform. all katsuki can see is red and violence - which isn’t really unlike from what he normally sees but it’s different this time. this time it’s about you.
he sees the group of gross, teenage boys point to where you’re standing: you’re leaning over the receptionist desk and just from the behind can katsuki appreciate how beautiful you are. you’re wearing a short black turtleneck dress with orange accents (you told him that you wanted to wear his colours to his agency) and in any other setting would katsuki run his hands over you and compliment and kiss you till you were shying away from him.
bakugou knew that you got unwanted attention, regardless if he was standing by you like a rabid guard dog - you were gorgeous and you knew that. he also knew that you could hold your own against a hoard of horny teenage losers and you would never look twice at them when you had him. still, that logic went out the window when he could see the same group of kids leering and pointing at where your thighs met the bottom of your dress and he wanted to kill them.
kirishima got wind of this just by looking at the blond’s expression, “please don’t blow up the place - they’re just dumb kids! think about how hard we worked for this agency,” pleads kirishima.
“he’s too far gone,” izuku sadly laments as they watch bakugou stride on over to you and ignore both the men’s pleas and bargains. he aggressively pushes past the disgusting collective of eyes and they break apart in shock at his intrusion through them.
you’re, however, too enamoured in your conversation with his assistant and mina- you’re looking at a pinterest board and he wants to bite you for being so cute in front of everyone. it makes him even angrier that those extras would ever think that you would give them more than a side eye and a polite wave.
you feel katsuki before you see him - his uniform-clad arm holds your waist between the desk as he slots himself into your conversation.
“so what’s this about? whatcha talking about?” katsuki asks and mina and his assistant giggle at his intrusion while you roll your eyes and turn yourself sideways to look at him.
“i would tell you but mina and akako might kill me,” you tell your boyfriend, resting a manicured hand on his chest. akako, bakugou’s assistant, laughs and nods her head:
“sorry, dynamight, our conversations are sacred. might i add your timetable tells me that you’re due to take the interns on a practice patrol in less than… 20 minutes?”
katsuki narrows his eyes at this and you chastise akako for poking at him, “leave him alone! i want him here,” before resting a hand on his stubbled jaw and scratching at his face. katsuki’s eyes close at the sensation and he opens them to take a good look at your face. the stupid kids are still a embittering thought in the back of his mind and in any given situation, he would never do this. but sometimes bakugou’s heart goes against his common sense and this was one of those times.
he leans down to slots his lips over yours and presses a gloved hand into the small of your back and you smile into the kiss while a few “awwhs,” emit in the background. bakugou opens an eye slightly to see in his peripheral vision that the gaggle of the limp-faced sidekicks are looking at him in a mixture of shock and fear and embarrassment. he also sees kirishima and izuku grab them up to guide them out of the room.
when you break from the kiss to brush at the hair on the nape of his head, he mumbles, “have i told you how much i love that dress on you?”
you giggle a little and lean up to kiss the corner of his mouth, “a few times. but you can keep telling me if you want. ‘s not like i’ll get tired of hearing it,” you whisper to him and it’s like you’re the only people in the room. he’ll tell you about what spurned this on another day. in the meanwhile, he bask in your attention until he has to go and entertain those useless jerks. it’s not like he’s going to employ any of them.
bakugou would say this is a mission accomplished in his book. yeah, he’s a little jealous and possessive. but with the way you look at him, he finds himself caring less and less about what others have to say about you.
doesn’t mean he won’t try knock them in the side of their head if the time calls for it.
࿄ ! — all rights reserved © moominsuki. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.
#katsuki is so cute when he’s jealous i love him#bakugo x reader#not proofread at all mb y’all#bakugo x y/n#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki fluff#bakugou x reader#i like writing now if you guys couldn’t tell#bakugou katsuki#༝˚૮ .♡ katsuki.#✎𓂃stamped: (my hero academia)。°˖⌕
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Music Moods
Word Count: 604
Includes: FLUFF, Spencer explaining how he can tell readers mood off what music she's listening to (Prompt from this challenge from @imagining-in-the-margins)
You were on the jet with the rest of the team, reading one of the many novels you packed in your go-bag while listening to the Smiths with your headphones.
Or at least thats what they saw, what you were actually contemplating was giving up on your book and staring out the window for the rest of the flight. Usually you'd use Spencer as your personal pillow but he looked busy so you tried your best not to interrupt him.
In fact, you dutifully turned your head towards him, just to enjoy how he talked, which was always using hand gestures.
He however was talking about you, though you'd never be the wiser with your music blasting so loud everyone could hear it slightly.
It wasn't anything bad of course he was only discussing what he found helped to determine your moods.
It had been Derek that asked initially, "Spence why aren't you sitting with Y/n? Trouble in paradise?"
To which spencer responded, "Actually, I find that by paying attention to what artist y/n listens to I can easily determine in what radius to her she'd like me."
"That can't be real." Emily was suspicious.
Rossi however...was familiar with how relationships went about.
"I believe it may have been...my first wife, she had this thing about how she wore here hair, up meant she was going to be more extroverted and down meant not to talk to her too much...or was it the other way around?"
"Gee I wonder what went wrong there." Derek grinned,
You tried your best to follow who was talking, but it was all reading lips and you were too lazy to reach your phone across the table to pause your music.
Spencer continued to explain and your gaze landed on him, "No, he's right, whether or not we realize it, many of us do things out habit, its our subconcious essentially communicating with the rest of the world, for instance, Y/n will listen to more 80's groups or artists like The Smiths, David Bowie and Queen when she's feeling more introverted and independent. As when we go out together she's more likely to put on more recent artists like Lana Del Rey and Lizzo because she's feeling extroverted."
Even Hotch was invested now, "But how do you know she just doesn't want to hear a specific song, written by one or the other?"
"Well I also like to take into account the beat and message of the songs, one of her favorite songs is 'Losing My Religion' by R.E.M and though the group was founded in the late 80's this specific song is more up-beat and has, like most 80's songs more of an 'all or nothing' message."
JJ spoke up now, "But what if its her favorite song? I mean like you said it is, so how do you know she doesn't just want to hear it, bad or good mood?"
Your eyes followed back to him as He smiled at the challenge, "People will gravitate more to songs that express their emotions, and often will shy away from playing a favorite of theirs as to not ruin the euphoric feeling they get when hearing the song with that of a gloomy memory."
The last question you did hear though, as you finally paused your music and could hear Emily try one last time, raising an eyebrow at what you could only assume was Spencer's consistent rants.
"And when you can't hear her music, how do you determine her mood?"
He looked to you then, catching your gaze and wiggling his fingers like a magician.
"Boyfriend instincts."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#dr spencer reid#spencer reid Criminal Minds#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fancfiction#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#fluff#Smut#Criminal Minds#Criminal Minds Fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#cm fandom#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid fanfiction#dr reid#dr spencer reid x reader#spencer x reader#please please let these tags work tumblr im begging#junipers-archive#mentioningmargins
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ COME BACK TO ME(PLEASE ) kim minji x reader
↳ warnings this takes place during ditto era, minji is down bad, 6th member reader
minji stood frozen, her gaze locked on the ethereal girl as she glided past without stopping. every movement seemed choreographed, every step a graceful dance. time seemed to slow as minji drank in the girl's beauty—a beauty so unique, it made minji question her own perception of the word beauty.
it was the kind of beauty that transcended mere physical appearance, captivating minji’s senses and leaving her speechless and then that specific feeling started creeping upon minji.
regret.
the feeling of realizing you messed up the best thing that could ever happen to you.
yeah, that’s what she was feeling right now.
"oh no, don't give me that look," minji turned to hanni, who shot her a scolding glance. "you broke up with her, bro. don’t act all heartbroken just because your ego got in the way."
minji’s shoulders sagged under Hanni's sharp gaze, her expression a mix of regret and frustration. "I know, I know," she muttered, “she’s just so pretty.”
minji couldn't fathom why their ceo thought it was a stroke of genius to add yn to the group after pitting her and yn against each other the entire time. It felt like a cruel joke, especially considering the rule of having only "five people" for debut for the group only to suddenly change course and introduce yn months after their debut dropped. the decision felt like a slap in the face.
like everything she did was for nothing, like letting yn go was for nothing, being an asshole was all for nothing.
“she is.” hanni responded with no remorse, not even flinching at minji’s glare, “and I don’t know what you were thinking.” she says rubbing salt into the wound causing minji to groan and throw her head back.
"I don't know what I was thinking either," minji whispered to herself, the weight of her own words echoing in the quiet of the room.
with a heavy sigh, she pushed herself up from the couch, a weariness settling over her like a heavy blanket. "I'm gonna go lay down," she muttered as she trudged away, her steps heavy with the burden of her thoughts.
"don’t forget we're all meeting back in the living room in an hour to watch ditto drop!" hanni’s voice called after minji, her words giving a burst of energy that clashed with minji’s mood. but minji was already disappearing down the hallway, her groan serving as a half-hearted response to hanni’s reminder.
minji kept her gaze fixed on the floor as she made her way down the hall to her room, lost in her thoughts and oblivious to the figure approaching that makes their way down to opposite side of the hall with a bag of caramel popcorn in their hands, with a sudden collision, their bodies collided, eliciting a yelp from both parties involved.
startled , minji looked up, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes met yn’s. time seemed to stand still as they locked gazes, minji momentarily forgetting how to breathe in the presence of the girl.
while the girl stuffs an handful the popcorn she already had in her hand in her mouth while clutching the bag in her other.
minji observed yn’s awkward attempt to slowly chew the sweet popcorn, her mind racing faster than her mouth could keep up. "you're still obsessed with caramel popcorn?" she blurted out, the words tumbling from her lips before she could fully process them.
yn’s eyes flicked up to meet minji’s, a hint of sheepishness coloring her expression as she swallowed the popcorn. "yeah," she admitted but immediately hardening up, “that doesn’t matter though, since nothing about me matters.” she responds quoting the older girls words causing minji to cringe.
“yn-“
"I really don't want to hear it," yn interjected quietly, cutting off minji’s attempt to speak. "you said what you had to say already," she added, her tone tinged with a hint of vulnerability before turning and walking down the hall.
minji hand instinctively reached out as if to stop her, but she hesitated, the weight of yn’s words settling heavily in her chest. With a resigned sigh, minji let her hand fall back to her side, watching silently as yn disappeared from view, the distance between them feeling wider than ever before.
she felt the weight in her chest get heavier as she turned around and headed to her room, being around yn has been so hard, the more she interacts with the girl the more she feels like she’s going to explode in tears.
minji lets herself sink into her bed and closes her eyes letting her guilty tears fall, she pulls her blanket over her and lets sleep slowly take over.
and just as she closes her eyes she opens them, when she feels an excited hyein open the door of the room, minji looks at the time, it’s been an hour since she fell asleep.
“minji unnie, get up!”the younger yells, “we have two minutes.” she says before running out the room
minji stares at the ceiling before letting out a sigh and dragging herself out of her bed, she makes her way out her room and she immediately here’s the loud noises of her members.
despite her reluctance, minji knew she couldn't stay holed up in her room forever. with a resigned sigh, she squared her shoulders and began to make her way towards the source of the commotion, steeling herself for whatever awaited her on the other side.
as soon as she walks into the living room she’s met with danielle’s of hurry’s.
minji can’t help but smile at the girls contagious excitement, but that smile immediately disappears when she sees that only spot open is the one beside yn who hasn’t looked up from her bowl of caramel popcorn since minji entered the room.
taking a deep breath to steel herself, minji forced a shaky smile and approached the couch, taking the seat beside yn.
the air between them felt charged with tension, a silent barrier that seemed to loom larger with each passing moment. despite her best efforts to ignore it, minji couldn't shake that feeling she got in her chest around yn.
she opened her mouth to whisper a greeting but was cut off by the greeting and of the other girls as the countdown started.
she played with her fingers as the screams got louder when the music video started, she couldn’t help but smile at the music video, especially the scenes where it was just her and yn, she remembers how nervous she was when the director told her that her and yn will have multiple parts alone together, the filming was so awkward but seeing how nice it tuned out made her warm inside.
feeling a gentle nudge, minji turned to look at yn, who had her eyes fixed on the music video playing on the screen. furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, minji followed yn’s gaze down to the bowl of caramel popcorn nestled between them.
A soft smile tugged at the corners of minji’s lips as she realized yn’s subtle invitation to share the snack.
minji reached out and scooped up a handful of the sweet and salty treat, the warmth of yn’s gesture washing over her like a comforting embrace.
as she popped a kernel into her mouth, minji couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope flicker within her, a silent reassurance that perhaps, despite the distance that had grown between them, there was still a chance for reconciliation.
once the music video finished all the girls got up, they all agreed to make cookies after watching the music video, minji watched as they made their way around the corner to the kitchen, their conversation buzzing about the music video.
hanni shot minji an encouraging look before nodding to yn who still at bedside minji with her face in her phone probably texting her family members about the music video, she then turned the corner and made her way to the kitchen like the rest of the girls.
minji swallowed nervously, the lump in her throat betraying the turmoil of emotions swirling within her. "Um, yn?" she began tentatively, her voice barely above a whisper amidst the din of the room.
yn finally tore her gaze away from the screen of her phone, turning to look at minji with a raised eyebrow, a silent question lingering in her eyes. the weight of their unspoken tension hung heavy in the air, casting a palpable unease over their interaction.
minji took a deep breath, summoning the courage to voice the words that had been weighing on her mind. "I... I just wanted to say... I'm sorry," she stammered, her voice trembling with the raw vulnerability of her confession. "For everything."
"I... I don't know what I was thinking," minji continued, her voice cracking with emotion. "the pressure of debuting was just so high, and the fact that it was either me or you getting kicked out of the lineup made everything worse." She paused, her words hanging heavy in the air as she struggled to articulate the depth of her remorse.
"I let my fear and insecurity cloud my judgment," minji confessed, her gaze dropping to her hands as she fidgeted nervously with her fingers.
“But that's no excuse for how I treated you. You didn't deserve that, and I'm truly sorry for hurting you, I don’t even know how I even thought of hurting someone I love so much, I need you to know that ever since that day all I’ve wanted was you back.”
the weight of her confession hung between them, the silence stretching taut with the unspoken hope for forgiveness. minji heart pounded in her chest, her pulse echoing in her ears as she waited with bated breath for yn’s response.
"the pressure was pretty high, huh?" yn echoed softly, her tone tinged with a mixture of understanding and resignation. she sighed, her gaze flickering briefly to the bustling activity in the other room before returning to minji’s troubled expression.
"I get it," yn admitted, her voice carrying a weight of shared experience. "we were all under immense pressure, and it's easy to let it get the best of us." she reached out, laying a gentle hand on minji arm, a silent gesture of solidarity. "but that doesn't excuse what happened between us."
there was a quiet intensity in yn’s gaze as she locked eyes with minji, a silent plea for honesty and accountability. "I appreciate your apology," she said softly, her words carrying a note of sincerity. "but apologies alone won't mend what's broken.”
minji felt her chest sink and it was obvious that yn could see it in her eyes, “I do see us together minji I really do, but let’s do this slowly.”
minji nodded, her throat tight with unspoken words. despite the ache of longing that pulsed within her, she knew that yn was right. rebuilding what they once had would take time and patience, a delicate process that couldn't be rushed.
"Okay," minji murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "I understand, I’ll do anything to fix this, I’m kinda obsessed with you.”
yn laughed and pressed a soft kiss to minji’s cheek, “yeah, it’s obvious.” obvious she teases before getting up from the couch and reaching out her hand towards minji, “lets go help with the cookies.”
minji couldn’t contain the smile that broke out on her face as she interlocked her hand with yn’s letting the girl drag her towards the kitchen.
she looks at yn and is completely mesmerized and just like always her mouth is faster than her mind, “you looked amazing in the music video, best way to make your official debut.”
“oh, shut up.”
#minji#kim minji#minji x reader#kim minji x reader#new jeans#new jeans x reader#minji new jeans#girl group imagines
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okay so what we’re not going to do is villainize shoko.
jjk 261 spoilers, thoughts, and a brief analysis of shoko. (and touching on some sashisu stuff. more specifically the sash part.)
i see a lot of people bashing her for not having a reaction to the body swapping plan and that satoru was like ‘i’m mostly surprised shoko didn’t object’ SO. here’s what i’ve got to say.
shoko didn’t object because she was fully under the belief that satoru was going to win. that it wasn’t going to happen. it was literally the worst worst worst WORST case scenario. she had SO MUCH faith in satoru.
let’s rewind back to the shibuya arc. what we knew about shoko at that time regarding her use of cigarettes was that she had quit five years (iirc) prior to those events. her smoking habits literally revolve around satoru’s wellbeing.
mind you this was after she and yaga learned satoru had been sealed. she heard the news and immediately began smoking. why? because shoko is a person who masks her emotions and she does it well. she’s not the type of woman to break down in tears. she’s going to hide it and instead light up a cigarette.
we saw this with her interaction with suguru. she acted very nonchalant about his defection and the massacre he committed on the village and his parents. but when we fast forward ten years and go to jjk0, it’s made abundantly clear that she still cares about him. during the meeting where yaga declares they’re going to kill suguru — i’m pretty sure his words were ‘exorcise the curse that is geto suguru’ or something along those lines — shoko leaves. she flat out walks out. and during the night parade of 100 demons, we have a moment where see the most emotion out of shoko that we have for the majority of the series. she’s angry. she’s hurt. she has these thoughts of something along the lines of like ‘you sure made a mess for us’ regarding suguru. and it’s especially prominent because it’s the first time we’ve ever seen her like this and only time. the closest we get to seeing that again is during the sukuna fight.
she literally cares so much but she’s just emotionally constipated and doesn’t know how to show it 😭 it’s an issue both she and satoru have. they deflect. they mask. they move on and yet the carry it with them somewhere deep inside them.
so we go back forward to satoru and sukuna’s fight. where we do see emotion from shoko but what’s most important to note is the panels she’s in. when they focus on her, she’s either smoking a cigarette, lighting a cigarette up, or we see her surrounded by cigarette butts.
we see her genuinely fearful at this point. she had full confidence that satoru was going to win. that’s why she said ‘do what you want’ and didn’t object. because in her mind, it wouldn’t happen.
it’s very important to remember that sashisu, whether you see it in a romantic or platonic way, was a group that cared so fucking deeply for one another. their bonds were deep. their love for their found family was deep. it’s part of the reason why suguru defected in the end. which i can get it into but not at this time. but at the end of the day, sashisu had ass communication skills and failed to properly understand one another.
and that seems to continue on with the satoshoko side of that, which was left after suguru left. and after he died.
also, it’s really important to remember that shoko is not like satoru and suguru. she’s a healer. that’s it. that’s all she does. she doesn’t get to fight or be on the front lines like they do. she’s the one who gets to wait behind and wait until the damage is done to do her job. she’s been doing this since she was (probably) 15, maybe even younger since we don’t know her backstory. she’s going to be emotionally detached. also, keep in mind this page:
specifically her first piece of dialogue. ‘it’s more like we have to do it.’
and that’s the bottom line.
whew. this was rough. shoko ieiri you will always be loved by me.
#jujutsu kaisen#shoko ieiri#gojo satoru#geto suguru#sashisu#satoshoko#satosho#sugushoko#if you guys don’t understand shoko#you can just say that#but don’t villainize her#there’s inevitably going to be an aftermath#and we’ll see what happens then.#jjk 261#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#sabé is gnawing at the bars of their enclosure
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Where Did the Time Go?
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: You decide not to drink during game night, which leads to an interesting conversation with Bucky.
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: Light angst, tension, friends reconnecting, unrequited feelings (or so you think), slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning)
Previous Part of AU: We'll Always be Friends
A/N: More Dreamboat and Butterfly from my Reconnect AU! ❤️ Beta read by @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
You weren’t sure what exactly happened between dinner and now, but you decided that the fun game night wouldn’t include drinking. You hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since your meal. Even then, you were pretty sure you didn’t have much. Sharon brought out a bottle of wine before everyone finished eating and you took a sip of your glass out of obligation. If she noticed you didn’t finish your glass, she didn’t say anything, which you appreciated.
But you should’ve known that Bucky would catch on.
“Not drinking tonight, huh?” He asked as he took a seat beside you on the couch. Steve and Sam set up a game table and were already a couple of drinks in. So were Sharon and Natasha. You weren’t worried about them though. They could hold their liquor.
But can I hold my tongue if I drink? Or am I using that as an excuse?
“Not tonight,” you replied, holding up your cup of water. “Sticking with water.”
“You’re acting like we need a designated driver when we’re not going anywhere,” he joked, throwing his arm around behind the cushion, the same way he had at the dinner table. “Afraid I’ll kick your ass in Mario Kart if you get a little tipsy?” He asked, grinning when you smiled. “We can have a tournament? Just the two of us?”
“Hey, one of us might need to go on a liquor or snack run. You never know,” you said, setting your water on the table before you sank into the couch. “And it isn’t exactly a tournament if only two people are playing, is it?”
“It can be. We make our own rules,” he smiled as he moved a little closer. “Remember the time we had a tournament? We went to that shady looking liquor store after Sam spilled the last bottle of rum. The guy behind the counter had a bunch of clown masks.”
You laughed a little. How could you forget? “Yes! We had to open the living room window so we could breathe. And the cashier was actually a sweet guy, but you glued yourself to my side before that because you were certain the guy had bad intentions,” you said. Bucky and his protective streak made you feel important.
Until you weren’t.
Bucky must’ve noticed the change in your demeanor since he stopped chuckling. “Seriously though. Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?”
“I feel fine. I just don’t need to drink tonight,” you said, touched that he showed concern for you before a weird expression crossed his face. “What? Do I have something in my teeth?”
“No. You’re, um,” he tapped a finger on his knee as he tried to find the words. “There isn’t a specific reason you aren’t, is there? You're not…” he trailed off, but his eyes drifted long enough to your torso to fill in the blank.
You never understood the expression about eyes widening to the size of saucers until you experienced it just then. “Are you asking if I’m pregnant?” You whispered, careful not to speak any louder than that. The last thing you needed was the group questioning why Bucky asked such a question. “If so, the answer is NO.”
The sigh of relief Bucky let out, you weren’t sure what to make of it. “Sorry. I'm sorry. You don’t owe me an explanation for why you aren’t drinking. I just. I don't know why my mind went there.”
You couldn’t exactly tell him you're worried about getting plastered and revealing how you felt about him. Drunk confessions worked for some, but you didn’t think the odds were in your favor. “I still can’t believe you asked that,” you half teased, pointing at your stomach. “Not to mention, I haven’t been laid in ages. So, unless it happens via immaculate conception, that’s never going to be the case.”
The odd expression was back on Bucky’s face. What was his deal? “When was the last time you went on a date?” He asked with more interest than you expected.
“Months ago. Minimum,” you said, looking up at the ceiling as you tried to recall the exact day. “His name was Nick. We went on a few dates and he was nice enough, but he ended up getting serious with someone else. Haven’t gone on another date since.”
The clench in Bucky’s jaw almost made you smile. He had no reason to look so upset on your behalf. “I’m sorry. It’s his loss.”
“Don’t be. I’m kind of used to it,” you said with a nonchalant shrug.
“What the hell does that mean?” He asked, facing you on the couch and blocking the view of your friends at the table. “What exactly are you used to?”
Why does he sound upset? It's not like I’m not his girl.
“It means I’m used to guys not picking me,” you said honestly. As much as it hurt to think that way, saying it didn’t hurt as badly. “Think about it, Bucky. In all the time you’ve known me, when have guys ever flocked to me? When have you ever seen a guy take a chance on me when Natasha and Sharon were there? They haven’t and that’s just the way it is.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re perfect. And maybe people do see you, but you don’t see them,” he argued, quickly closing his mouth when he saw your expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”
“No, I think that’s exactly what you meant,” you said, sitting up to put some distance between the two of you as hurt filled his eyes. “I see just fine, thanks, but please enlighten me. Who saw me? Who did I overlook? I’d love an example.”
There was no reason to get so defensive, but did he understand how you felt? People gravitated toward Bucky and your friends. They always had. You, on the other hand, were on the outside of the house looking in. It was tiring to be the one knocking on the door.
“What about your old friend, TJ? You’re telling me he didn’t see you?” He asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. It wasn’t a tone you heard from him before. It didn't suit him.
“TJ?” You asked, confusion written all over your face that you couldn’t fake if you tried. “TJ Hammond? My old family friend? Um, no, he definitely doesn’t see me.”
Not even close.
“He stayed at your place after Steve’s party,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he avoided your gaze. “Bet he couldn’t wait to see you. Probably went over the second you got back from the trip.”
Wait, is he jealous? What the hell?
You laughed a little, unable to help yourself when he raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, he did stay at my place for a bit after Steve’s birthday bash a couple of years ago. He had an issue with his boyfriend.”
Bucky did a double take, which would’ve been humorous if not for the stricken look on his face. “Boyfriend?”
“Yeah. The guy he dated at the time was a HUGE asshole and they had a falling out. His parents refused to let him go back home, so he stayed with me. And I couldn’t kick him out. He needed a friend,” you said, your brows pinching when you recalled how TJ cried on your sofa. It was a heartbreaking sight. “He has a new boyfriend now who treats him well and he couldn’t be happier. And I couldn’t be happier for him.”
Bucky blinked a few times. “So, you two. You never…?”
“TJ and I? No. Never dated, hooked up, anything,” you smiled with a shake of your head. “We adore each other, but in a brother and sister kind of way. I mean, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Even if I did find him attractive, nothing ever would’ve happened. You, Steve, Sam, you guys are much more his type.”
Bucky didn’t say anything, his face a bit pale. You worried for a second that he was going to get sick. “I thought you two hooked up,” he said more to himself than to you.
Where the hell did he get that impression?
“No, we didn't and we never will,” you said again before something he said dawned on you. “Wait, how did you know he stayed at my place? He asked me not to tell anyone where he was and I respected his wishes.”
Going through the dates again in your head, it wasn’t long after TJ stayed with you that Bucky brought Dot around as his new girlfriend. You knew you lost your chance to admit your feelings because he had someone by his side. Someone who wasn’t you.
“Come with me,” Bucky said, taking your hand and pulling you up from the couch before you had a chance to argue. It was hard to keep up with his long strides and he didn’t look back when Steve called after the two of you.
“What’s going on?” You asked as he pulled you outside and slammed the door. You watched as he took a few breaths, like he was trying to steady himself. “Talk to me, please.”
“I wasted two years,” he whispered, tilting his head to look at the sky. “Two fucking years.”
What is he talking about?
“I don’t understand,” you said.
“I made a huge mistake and I regret it,” he said, squeezing your hand as he faced you. “And I can't go the rest of this week without telling you. I wasted enough time.”
“Tell me what? Bucky, what did you do?”
And can we come back from it?
That literary edging. I'm sorry! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes#best friend!bucky barnes#best friend!bucky barnes x reader#dreamboat and butterfly#reconnect au#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x female reader#sebastian stan x you#james buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes x reader#sebastian stan
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