Hey Tumblr Peeps😃👍When I 1st started watching My Hero Academia, in 1 hand there were characters I'm keen on and/or fascinated with, while in the other hand either I am (or was) just neutral with certain characters or it just took me time for them to grow on me or maybe both even if they did fascinate me (don't worry I'm saying it as a good thing😅)😃👍However, in this case, with this My Hero Academia character I'm writing about, I did became fascinated with him, while I guess, I kinda masked my fascination for him without knowing it, then I basically realized recently I did unconsciously repressed that I have been fascinated with him for sometime...🤔😅Anyways it's time to write about him now🐋

Why He Thinks You're Beautiful (Kugo Sakamata, aka Gang Orca x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Some Fluff, Light Hearted, Cuddles and Snuggles (In The End), Just The Mentioning Of Alcohol Warning (unless reader picks otherwise) ⚠️ (reader gets the option to pick non-alcoholic if reader chooses, if reader chooses to stick with alcohol then the reader can do so as well)

When you first became a pro hero, you decided to go on your first mission, which involved defeating a villain, who turned out to be (any villain of the reader's choice). You did have a little trouble fighting this villain, however you managed to defeat him/her/them after (s)he/they underestimated you. (S)he/they was wrong to even think that you're less capable, than you actually are, which definitely backfired on him/her/them.

The next day, you realized you defeating (any villain of the reader's choice) made it in the headlines of the news and it even became one of the most talked about things on the internet. Even when you were in the grocery store, all you can overhear everyone talk about is how heroic you are. There were even people who noticed you in the grocery store who want to chat with you and at times ask for an autograph. You basically become (accidentally) famous. As much as you enjoyed the fame and all, you didn't expect to be this famous that fast.

The next thing you know, you heard a voice saying, "So you must be, (Any Gender Reader Name). In this case congratulations on your battle against, (any villain of the reader's choice)", then you turned around and saw Gang Orca, as he continued, "Here. Let me introduce myself. My real name is Kugo Sakamata, however you can call me, Gang Orca. Nice to meet you.", as he offered you a handshake. You blushed from just looking at him, as you were shaking his hand, then you said, "Nice you meet you meet you too...Um... Mr. Orca... Sir...". While managing to hide his smirk (his hero gear (or suit) obviously, as part of it is his mask), as he goes, "I didn't mean to scare or make you nervous or anything. I just think you make a fine pro hero.", as he unconsciously flirted without showing, while he consciously is testing you, to see what you would say. You felt bad as you said, "Oh no. I wasn't scared or nervous or anything...I was just surprised...That's all...", as you unconsciously tried repressing you're blushing from just the sight of, Gang Orca. He's easy on you with your blushing, since he knows instantly that you are unconsciously masking the fact that you're atleast fascinated with him.

He then decided to ask you to meet him at a nightclub for later that night, so you accepted his invite, because (you letted him know that) you enjoyed the nightclub he asked you to meet him at and you somehow unconsciously liked him alot (without knowing this), even tough you were unconsciously were repressing that type of fascination for Gang Orca. Then after you accepted his offer, plenty of your fans came to you to meet you and stuff, while some of them are pro heroes themselves. That's when Orca told you, "See you later tonight then, (Any Gender Reader Name), then he winked at you (you didn't realize his winking meant a gentle flirtatious, thank you), as he found it cute seeing more of your new found fame, then left the isle to get himself cashed out before leaving the grocery store. Tough, wheather you have fame or no fame, he would be happy for you either way.

Later that night you went inside the nightclub you enjoyed, so much, which Gang Orca asked out to meet him there, then a few minutes later, he went inside the nightclub. You basically eyed at him, unconsciously, in a blushingly way. Gang Orca noticed you were unconsciously getting your enjoyment out of starring at him, in a like, like crushing fashion, so he decided to ask catching you off guard with a smirk on his face, "So, (Any Gender Reader Name). What do you think of my suit that I'm currently wearing tonight?", to test to see what you would say. "Well... Orca... Sir... You look... Really nice... In that suit of yours...", you answered not realizing you're blushing. He went to the barstool part of the nightclub, while he's motioning you to join him.

"Okay, (Any Gender Reader Name). Here's the thing. I'm willing to buy you a drink, if you like. Obviously you're allowed to pick alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages, so any beverage you like, considering I'm not crazy about booze much, however there's a catch on my end. Any drink, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, I will be picking the same exact drink out for me regardless of what drink you pick. So, I will obviously be drinking whatever you pick and I will still be paying for the drinks obviously.", Gang Orca mentioned, as he's letting you have all the options, you decided to pick the beverage of your choice, as he picked out the same for himself exact drink, as you picked for yourself. As time went by, you heard a song you have heard in the late 2000's that ended up (somehow) reminding you of, Gang Orca, the next thing you did was blush alot more than you did earlier today, then Gang Orca basically offered for you to dance with him (Reader gets choice on, if (s)he/they decide to dance or not. Either way he will still hang out with the reader either way and let's the reader decide), while you and Orca enjoyed the song that was playing at the time. He offered to take you to the hotel, which you accepted his invite as well.

So, after you and Gang Orca, finished your drinks (which he had the same exact drink you did), the both of you left the nightclub and since the hotel isn't far away from the nightclub at all, Gang Orca decided to carry you in his arms, as gentleman like, as possible. You were also surprisingly, comfortable being carried in both of his arms. Gang Orca noticed that look on your face, as your comfort delighted him alot. On your way and Gang Orca's way to the hotel, as he was carrying you he did talk to you alot.

"As you can see (Any Gender Reader), I really liked you alot, not because of you being famous from defeating (any villain of the reader's choice) yesterday and not just your looks. I'm not stalking you or anything, I promise on my life on this, however I should make myself clear that, eversince I first saw you in the grocery store earlier today, I have been watching you whenever I'm around you, your facial expressions, your blushes, you unconsciously being fascinated with me, your unconscious repression of your unconscious crush on me, you name it. I just find everything I noticed about you so cute.", Gang Orca said confessing how he felt, as you gave him a confused look on your face. Gang Orca continued his confession, as he said smiling, "You don't fully get it, I take it, (Any Gender Reader Name). I know we only met earlier today and earlier in the nightclub earlier tonight, however I just know there's something about your personality that I really love, so damn, much about you. I just can tell there's something about you that's just, so damn, amazing. And since I'm instantly in love with you, that's I ask before I plan and I let you have options of choices for what you decide on. You're not just cute, however because of your personality, I honestly think you're just, so damn beautiful, that I will not tolerate anyone saying one bad thing about you". You have began to realize what he meant and that made you very happy to hear all this now.

After you and Gang Orca got to the hotel (as he got finished carrying you, as well), you and Orca managed to book the same room, where the both of you will also be able to spend the night in the same hotel room as well. After you and Orca made it in the shared hotel room, as it turned out Orca definitely had been planning some surprises to spoil you with, after all. He spoiled you a few things that you might like and he even spoiled you with lots of nice clothing that might be to your liking. From what you're understanding about the clothes he got for you he seems to have great taste, when it comes to clothes.

Then he said, "I want to makesure you're not trying to be a "yes" person, when I ask you this, so be honest with me when I ask you this question, and be sure about this as well, (Any Gender Reader Name). I want to makesure I'm not pushing you into anything you don't want to do". The next thing he did was he asked, "So (Any Gender Reader Name), would you like to be my significant other.", then, he continued, "If it's a yes, then I would be happy. However if it a no, then we can be just as friends as well. I want you to makesure whatever you decide is something you want to do.". You thought carefully about it, then after you finish thinking about what Gang Orca asked you, you have made your final decision pertaining his question.

"Gang Orca, I have been thinking about what you asked me, and I also have been thinking about everything that happened today, especially all the times I have been around and every second of even seeing your face, every second of knowing you more, even with your personality, as well. For me, in your case Orca, it's not about your looks or what you spoil me with, it's actually about what's on the inside of you that's really won me over, infact you're the most thoughtful being who ever roamed the Earth. You're very thoughtful of me.", you explained to Gang Orca. Then you continued, "So, my honest answer is... Definitely yes, I will become your significant other, because just as much as you've proven in just one whole day and one whole night that you truly love me, I want to prove how much I love you as well, despite of the fact you see my love for you through me, before I did see that with myself. And, yes. I am sure I want to do this.". From hearing your reason on why you said, yes to, Gang Orca, he was surprised and more than happy hear about everything you just said.

After you and Orca finished your conversation with him, you decided to get changed into some pajamas that Gang Orca, bought for you (with the other clothes he got for you) inside the bathroom. The pajamas he got for you are (the description of the pajamas is for the reader's imagination, so ofcourse it will be the pajamas of the reader's choice), and these pajamas are becoming you favorite pajamas ever. Once you finished changing into your favorite pajamas, you noticed, Gang Orca has just got done getting into his night clothes, while his neck was uncovered. He definitely looked different without his suit covering his neck, while he was a little embarrassed that you immediately saw his uncovered neck, however you assured him that he's still handsome and that he's still the same Gang Orca, who you said yes to.

When you and Gang Orca finally decided to lay in the shared hotel bed to eventually sleep in, you both snuggled, cuddled, chatted, (and anything else to the reader's imagination, if the reader chooses to (optional). Otherwise,...), etc... A couple hours has passed where both you and Orca feel asleep, while holding eachother in the shared hotel bed. Next morning you and Gang Orca woke up next to each other, as it seems in one day and one night that the both of you have chemistry, are compatible, and are comfortable with eachother, also as if it felt like eternity in a good way.

The End

Anyways my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoyed this fanfic with non other than, Gang Orca in this same fanfic🐋Aside from the unconscious repression of my fascination for Gang Orca a while ago, I'm not really sure why I didn't write about him earlier, honestly. I did put some thought for this fanfic, including the name for this fanfic. The previous fanfic I did worked on I did accidentally forgot to name, which not naming my fanfics is very unlike of me to do, so I'm trying to avoid not naming my fanfics😅Back to talking about this Gang Orca fanfic, just incase, if I'm a little off topic... Anyways, aside from stopping the unconscious repression once I started to realized what was I unconsciously masking the fascination I have for him character wise, there were plenty of things aside from wanting the readers to have options with certain parts of this fanfic that brought inspiration (which this fanfic is no exception), there was 1 of the songs from the late 2000's (I think 2009, however I'm not 💯% sure, just incase of an accidental exaggeration😅) and listening to this particular song from that part of the decade quite often, recently and this particular song really had me decide on how I feel might fit this fanfic some, plus I figured this song might be part of Gang Orca's taste in music😃👍As for the clothing...🤔 Aside from him having good taste in clothing (my positive opinion), considering every1 has different taste in clothing including pajamas, I decided if I put pajamas as part of this fanfic I rather the reader decide to their imagination on pajamas of their choice, out of consideration that every1 had different preferences pertaining pajamas. My point is that, I feel it's more fun for the reader to get options on certain parts of the story, than for me to choose everything for the reader without letting them have the option. So I do plan on letting reader get options to their imagination in certain parts a little more often in future fanfics when writing them. Hopefully this Gang Orca, fanfic makes your day and/or night, my Tumblr Peeps🐋😃👍

730 days | song mingi

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst

word count: 2k

a/n: i personally hate this piece so much, it hits a little too close to home but i wrote it decently and its still cringy gah dayum & there's no part 2 because some things are better off this way

You were in a relationship with Mingi for 2 years now and today was your anniversary with him. Lately, you could never get to go out with him on your monthly anniversaries since he was always busy with work which you understood and didn't mind about. So, you were exhilarated that you finally got the chance to celebrate a special day with him today.

You got dressed pretty early and drove to his house because you knew that he would be late or forget that you both had a date planned out since he hasn't texted you all day long.

While you were driving to his place, you turned up the volume on the radio and drove silently. The memories of when you first met Mingi flooded into your mind as you drove by the familiar street.

You fell in love with Mingi the second you saw him at a distant friend's birthday party. He was avoiding people at the party so it wasn't that hard for you to start a small talk with him. That night was definitely one of the best nights you've had, Mingi didn't even hesitate talking to you, in fact even when everyone had left, you both were still chatting away without realising it was late night.

You let out a small laugh as you drove into the street that Mingi lives at when you thought about the day he confessed to you. You had been talking to him everyday for a few months now and there was a misunderstanding between the two of you which resulted in a fight. Mingi being the gentleman he is, came to your doorstep late at night apologising and also, confessed his feelings for you.

And ever since, things have been going amazing between the two of you. Or so, you thought.

You reached the place and parked your car in front of his porch, turning off the engine before you walked to his doorstep. You felt nervous, as if it was your first date with him. Your hand reached the doorbell and clicked on it.

"Coming!"

You took a few steps back, knowing that his tall figure would accidentally bump into you by accident if he was about to walk out. Within seconds, he opened the door and came out. The smell of his cologne immediately flooded your surroundings, making you flinch a little, followed by a loud sneeze.

He was in the middle of locking his house door when his head turned to your direction, "Everything alright?"

You nodded, rubbing your nose. You managed to steal a glance at him, he was clad in a pair of light blue jeans along with an oversized white shirt, a denim jacket over it. You, on the other hand, wore jeans as well and a flowy blouse with your hair let down.

"You look pretty," He commented, making you realise he was done locking his door. You smiled at his compliment and returned one to him, "You look handsome as well."

"Where do you wanna go?" He asked, holding your hand as you both started walking. Everytime Mingi touched you, it would make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This time, you didn't feel anything at all, not coming off as a surprise to you anymore.

"I don't know, I told you I didn't mind any place." You replied back.

"It's okay, it's better if you choose a place. I don't want to argue with you later about this." He said.

You looked at him with furrowed brows, wondering what he meant. Was he really going to argue with you before your date even started? That too, on your anniversary?

It took him a while to realise what came out of his mouth as he looked at you and tried to come up with an excuse. "I mean, I just don't want you to feel unhappy about it later."

You were obviously hurt from what he said earlier but you didn't want to show it to him, knowing that he would try to convince you to not feel this way. You hummed at his statement and looked at him, "Let's just go to McDonalds, I guess."

"McDonalds?"

"Didn't you tell me to choose a place?" You questioned him, starting to feel tired with his questions. You managed to catch him sigh and roll his eyes before he turned away, clenching his jaw.

Your relationship with Mingi was falling apart, that was for sure.

The first year together, everything was perfect and you had almost no arguments at all. You both went on dates a lot and took things up a notch. It felt like paradise whenever you were with him.

However in your second year, you felt like things started to lose its authenticity slowly. You began to argue with Mingi over the pettiest things and so did he. You've cried more during arguments with him than out of stress that now if you argued with him, you felt so numb and tired.

The relationship was getting toxic day by day.

"What's your problem now?" He finally asked, leaving a scar on your heart again with his blunt question.

"What's my problem?" You quivered, tears were starting to form in your eyes. You let go of Mingi's hand and asked him, "Why are you always arguing with me, Mingi?"

The look of fury turned into sorrow on Mingi's face as he heard your voice crack when you asked him that question. He knew that you had reached your point, you couldn't hold it in anymore. He had hurt your feelings to that point.

Yet, he didn't show any sign of pity towards you when he questioned you back. "Why are you like this? We've been fighting almost everyday."

You were on the verge of crying as tears collected in your eyes. "Why am I like this? Are you really asking me why I am like this? I've been trying my best to save our relationship every time it has been falling apart and you're asking me why am I like this? When are you going to realise that you have been screwing up our relationship, Mingi?"

He flinched at the mention of his name. You had never used his name before when you were together unless you were pissed or sometimes, jokingly. You had never used it when you were arguing as well. So it took him by surprise that his name left your mouth that day.

"Baby…"

Even him using pet names on you made you shiver, you knew it wasn't genuine anymore. He had stopped using pet names for weeks now, you didn't want to hear anything anymore. You looked at him in the eyes, hoping for him to tell you that it's okay and we would be alright. But he didn't.

Even though he put in more effort into your relationship compared to you, he was also the one hurting you the most that it was starting to drive you crazy. You loved him, you loved him with your whole heart and you didn't want to let him go. But in order for you to be alright again, you had to let him go.

Which resulted in you saying those words that you never expected yourself to say when you started dating Mingi.

"I think it's best for us to break up."

You both remained silent for a while, until you started sobbing and looked down. You hated this so much. You didn't want to show him that you were weak and vulnerable. You were at your lowest and you knew you couldn't hold it in anymore.

Mingi's hand reached to touch yours but you jerked away. "Please don't."

He immediately took his hand away and stood still in front of you. Seeing that he was quiet, you knew he was speechless and was thinking of what to say. You didn't want to look at him as well knowing that you would start to cry harder.

At the same time, you wanted him to ask you to stay. You wanted him to tell you that he was willing to fix things between the two of you. You wanted him to tell you that he loves you and he doesn't want you to leave him.

But he did nothing.

You didn't want to leave him, heck, it was stupid of you to even initiate the break up. but, you were not wrong. Mingi didn't even bother begging you to speak or wipe away your tears as he would.

You didn't want to assume things, perhaps he was hiding his pain as well as you did. Maybe it was going to take him some time to realise how fucked up the relationship was.

"Okay." He breathed out, a croak following along as he looked away.

You looked up at him, "Okay?"

"Yeah, let's break up." He said, making eye contact with you as you watched a tear roll down his cheek. You wanted to hold his cheek, wipe his tears and say that it was okay. You wanted to kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

But you didn't.

Instead, you started to cry. You covered your face with your hands as you cried in front of him. You didn't want to leave him, you knew very well you were still wrapped around his finger. You wanted to call him everyday, you wanted to text him good night and I love you everyday. You wanted to give him kisses every time he was sad after watching movies. But that wasn't going to happen.

You felt a pair of warm hands engulf you into a hug, hot tears dropping onto your blouse and Mingi held you tight for one last time. You dropped your hands and hugged him back, crying on his chest that you were starting to lose air.

You knew very well if you stayed in that position for a little longer, you would tell him that you were sorry and you would tell him to forget what you said. So, you pulled away from his hug. Mingi's eyes were red and puffy, he sniffed and looked up at the sky, holding back his tears.

You kissed him back for a brief second before he pulled away. His hand remained intact on your cheek, "It's okay Y/N, you don't have to apologise. I understand where you're coming from."

You couldn't help it. It broke you to see him in pain and you didn't want to see him in that situation ever. So, you opened your mouth to speak but Mingi stopped you by asking, "Can I kiss you one last time?"

Your eyes were glazed, you didn't know what to say. This was really it. This was happening for real and you had to accept it. You gave a subtle nod which led him to kiss you out of nowhere. You didn't move, you stood still as his kiss made you feel warm and content for one last time.

You looked down as he said that, shutting your eyes. You took a deep breath, telling yourself that it was okay and heartbreaks are normal. His hands took yours and he kissed them, before he talked to you.

"Just promise me that you won't give up on love because of what happened between us."

You had no words, you didn't even know what to say to him. You remained quiet for a while. He let go of your hands, "I love you Y/N, I always have and I always will. I'm sorry for hurting you all this while and not owning up to my mistake."

"I'm sorry too Mingi," Your voice croaked, you weren't able to tell the former cause it hurt too much in you to say it back.

"Just…" He paused, looking hesitant to continue his sentence. You could tell he wasn't going to continue his sentence knowing your answer, "Text me when you get back home."

After he said that, he walked back inside his house, leaving you alone at his porch - a crying mess. You got into your car and cried for a good 10 minutes. You wanted him to come out and kiss you, tell you to come inside and convince you to stay.

But you were both too egoistic for that. He knew you wouldn't bother his words, nor would you if he asked you to give him another chance. You looked up at his window, you saw his shadow through his sheer curtains and you could make out that he was crying as well.

No matter how much you loved him, you had to end your relationship before everything felt forced and fake. Before everything was merely a show. It was better to give your all in the relationship instead of giving only half or nothing.

So you drove back home.

hello! can i request "You didn't do anything wrong, there's nothing to apologize for" for any ship of your choosing? or any AU you want? i just really love how your writing flows, it's so cohesive-- don't take this the wrong way but like. i adore sitting down and actually analyzing your stuff structurally? seeing how it works and weaves together to make a whole just makes the shriveled up eng lit major inside me really happy.

w o o f this one ran away from me a little bit, it incorporates some Things I was thinking of re: forgiveness/webgott last month, and it's bit different than pure H/C but I hope you find something to like in it! Thank you for your lovely compliment~

Yes, it's webgott bc i am chained to The Rhythm

4. "You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing to apologize for."

He cleared the drawer once more, eyes scanning into its dark corners for any sign of a missed sock, undershirt, some hidden treasure that he had many years ago deemed worthy of being put in the back of the underwear drawer. Raising his brows, Joe shook his head at himself as he closed it resolutely, tossing his bounty into his pack and stuffing the top with the sack that contained his bathroom shit.

Even remembering the days he used to be able to leave the house with just his keys made him want to sigh like a goddamn cow in the summertime. Now he needs the bag, the car, and Web just to go across the bay.

Speak of the devil, Web padded into the bedroom with his usual September expression: weary, exhilarated, slightly frustrated. Wordlessly, he crossed past Joe to the bed and slumped face-first onto it with a groan.

“Done?” Joe questioned, zipping up the bag.

Making a soft grunt of a sound, Web curled his arms around his head. “Done,” he said, face mashed against the bed.

“Well, get to it,” Joe said, stepping over to land a light smack against Web’s ass and grinning at the outraged whine he got in response. “Don’t want to be late,” he tossed over his shoulder as he stepped back out to the hall, making for the kitchen.

Even out here he can hear the sound Web makes, somewhere between a groan and a sigh. “I’ve changed my mind!”

“No you didn’t!” Joe called back, grabbing the butter left on the counter and shoving it in the fridge, letting his eyes make one final sweep around the kitchen. “If you don’t show your reputation won’t ever recover.”

“Your mother loves me,” Web toned, and Joe couldn’t help a snicker as he moved through the hall back to the bedroom, where Web had at least moved to lay on his back, knees up. “She wouldn’t care, she’d probably let me move in with her if you ever kicked me out.”

Rolling his eyes, Joe stood at the food of the bed, arms folded. “Not with Yom Kippur, you’re not allowed to fuck around. She was happy you said you wanted to come, you don’t want to disappoint her.”

Heaving out a long breath, Web folded his hands behind his head, eyes lowered as he peered down at Joe. His knees tilted just so, his lips quirking, and Joe could see the fucking thought forming in his head before he had a chance to open his mouth.

“No.”

“We have time,” Web said, extending one leg to poke his toes into the left side of Joe’s stomach.

Clicking his tongue, he took hold of the other man’s ankle, giving it a soft pull and smiling in satisfaction as Web tried to pull it back to no avail. “If you think I’m going to miss my last fucking meal just to fuck you then you have another thing coming, alright?”

With a disgruntled twist of his lips Web pulled his leg in again, a little jerk that ushered Joe down onto the mattress as well. “You weren’t this dedicated last year,” he noted lightly, free of the reproach that might have accompanied the words if his family had said them.

Shaking his head, Joe decided to throw Web a bone and settled beside him, at least staying up on his elbows. “Different places,” he said simply.

Web looked up at him fondly, hand coming up to smooth over Joe’s hairline, sweeping it back and trailing behind his ear. “So, how will we spend tonight, then?” he asked quietly, eyes still following along where his hand moved. “If not in bed.”

Breath going slow with the contact, he tilted his head into the touch contentedly. “Well, tonight we’re going to eat like kings, Rach will probably be trying to get drunk in the pantry and hoping nobody notices, we’ll sleep in the attic, then tomorrow we spend a lot of fucking time at the synagogue.”

“And we don’t eat,” Web stated, assured.

“No eating, no drinking,” Joe nodded, brow furrowing at the sight of an eyelash on the other man’s cheek, reaching for it mindlessly.

Humming, Web closed his eyes to accommodate him. “Does this have a corresponding Catholic holiday I can retrofit in my mind?”

“I don’t know, you guys got a day where you feel really guilty about everything?” he asked, presenting the lash to Web balanced on the tip of his finger.

Blinking, Web frowned thoughtfully. “Birthdays.”

“Make your wish, you prick,” Joe grumbled, holding back his smile as Web grinned up at him, pausing momentarily before blowing the lash away into the room. Indulgently, he moved in closer, cupping the warmth of Web’s face in his palm and looking down on him with a feeling as close to serenity as he ever has here, in their bed, the sunlight coming in through their window.

Web returned his gaze, his own hand tracing along the back of Joe’s neck. “Do you confess?”

“Sure.”

“Alone?”

“All together,” he corrected, absently rubbing at the spot on Web’s cheek where he had plucked the lash. “You recite it, while you do this,” he said, shifting gently to bring his hand down to Web’s chest, knocking gently against him, just above his heart, with a loose fist.

Web watched his fist, a bemused smile growing over his lips. “Why?”

Settling his hand over the spot, Joe rubbed gently at him. “To punish your heart.”

Smile stilling over his face, Web absorbed his words with quiet interest, eyes floating down along Joe’s neck to the dark burrow of his chest where it pressed against the bed. “Isn’t the sinning hurt enough?”

Trust Web to try to loop him into a conversation about semantics of all fucking things. He must be more anxious to start his classes than Joe thought. “I don’t know,” he half-shrugged, eyes on his own hand over Web’s heart. “If you’re the sort who doesn’t like hurting people, maybe.”

Web nodded, accepting, smile turning more wistful, thoughtful “That’s nice, to be able to get it all out of the way at once.”

“What, you turned in a paper late?” Joe teased.

Flicking behind Joe's ear, Web looked up at him balefully, just a touch of that familiar humor at the edge of his mouth, like a dimple made of light. “I’d apologize to you, obviously.”

Huffing out a surprised laugh, Joe looked discerningly down at him. “You got something you want to tell me?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Web shook his head softly, hand curling around his neck once more and seeming to anchor him down even further, their faces close enough to see the earnest upset around the angles of the other man’s eyes. “You know.”

Web does this. Likes to see monsters where there are none, invent storm clouds heading for them, and it makes him behave like a child sometimes and a man others. He’s a contrarian, down even past his bones and into the dust of the universe that lived in his being, it is an unchangeable fact. Telling him that there’s nothing to worry about accomplished nothing at the best of times.

Not that it’s ever stopped him trying.

“You don’t have to apologize to me for a fucking thing,” Joe rebuked solidly, hand moving from Web’s heart to his head, fingers resting just north of the delicate point of his hairline. “Sincerely.”

“I do, I…” Web parried, eyes unyielding where they looked up into Joe’s, somehow free of the sort of conflict he contained when he started thinking he and Joe had different opinions. “I know that this isn’t easy, dealing with me. And you do,” he continued, and this close he can see the way his eyes are stuck on his lips, the thought filling him with affection. “And you’re amazing.”

Giving in, chest bowing in like the hull of a sinking ship, he caught Web’s lips with his own, a hot smack of a thing that stole his breath, gave it to Web, who in turn gave it back to him better, better. “You don’t have to apologize for living, doll,” he shook his head, their nose practically knocking. “That’s not the point.”

Web didn’t seem soothed by the kiss, still appearing occupied with some train of thought that sought to carry him off and away from Joe’s eyes. “I still think of it sometimes, you know.”

Joe frowned. “What?”

“That day,” Web said, as though it should be evident.

He has to pause and think. They’ve lived a lot of days together, not just these ones that they’ve spent in this apartment, but the ones they spent as voices over the phone, words on a page, men in uniforms hiding from each other like chameleons. How is he meant to know which day Web means from the thousands they’ve had?

Looking down, the blue of Web’s eyes reminds him absently of Austrian skies. Mountains.

Yes. He knows.

“I think sometimes I should apologize to you and never stop,” Web said gently, managing to keep hold of Joe’s eyes as they blinked back and forth and back and forth into the memory.

He hadn’t thought about that day in a long time. Which isn’t to say he never does, but it’s been a time. If he concentrates he can still feel the sun on his neck, the unnatural sweatiness of his palms, how his face had somehow felt cold, waxy. Picturing the house, the dark guts of it with the man inside squirming like half-digested meat, still fills him with the primal sort of rage that only visits him in his dreams. All around the periphery of the memory is Web, that day he had decided that whoever David Webster was he wanted no part of it.

“It’s in the past,” he excused weakly.

Web pulled in a short breath, face carefully open. “I know it is.”

“So let it be.”

Frown deepening, Web’s brought his eyes back down, and even this small departure felt like shrapnel. Joe combed through his hair, rubbing at his scalp, jostling him enough to win his eyes back. Web opened his mouth, struggling, before settling into the intention. “Do you still think about it?”

“Of course,” he said dully, voice still caught somewhere in his memory.

“Do you ever think I owe you an apology?” Web asked, voice quiet and eyes steady.

The question drops through him like rain. He’s thought of that day hundreds of times, thousands. When he lets his mind walk back up that hill, shining in the sun like the cover of the storybooks his mother would read to him, it isn’t Web he’s thinking of. He thinks of a forest of trees, of the way that one can become millions, and those millions become legion. That day had been about a lot of things, he hadn’t ever intended for Web to be one of them.

Web has apologized to him in too many ways to count. But this memory is deeper than they are, the kind of wound that might close over but will still carry a piece of metal, even smaller than a sliver, nestled inside of them both.

Web gives him grief, for better and for worse. But he gives him peace, too. That’s all the apology he wants.

His silence has drifted over the room like fog, but Web looks at him with the sort of clarity that only a few years ago made him feel like a bug on a pin, but now simply makes him feel known.

“I’ll punish my heart for forgiveness tomorrow,” Web said softly, smile turning up his lips, hand against Joe’s neck.

Huffing, Joe shook his head, taking up Web’s mouth once more, briefly. “You have it,” he rasped, kissing just the corner of his lips, and then the soft heat of his cheek. “You’ve had it.”

Web smiled into the kiss, leaning up to press a matching one to Joe’s own cheek. “Good.”

Swallowing, he followed Web back down, their faces close. “Will you accept mine?”

A disbelieving laugh rumbled up Web’s throat, his head giving a dismissive shake as he gave Joe’s neck a hard rub. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he criticized, eyes bright, cheeks flushed. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

But they haven’t always been that lucky. This sort of luck isn’t a permanent state of being.

“I don’t know,” he muttered, before pausing momentarily. “Let’s say you forgive me for the first sin I haven’t committed yet.”

Laughing, Web took his hand from Joe’s skin, holding it up beside them in some offering. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Joe confirmed, taking his hand, giving it one firm shake, enough to gather up Web’s laugh, before bringing it to his lips and laying a kiss across its back. “Now come on, let’s go.”

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D

I don’t need it

Wilhemina Venable x FemReader

Words: 2,8K

warning: eating disorders, angst i guess

A/N: I have no idea what this is but I needed to get out of my head. Please, please don’t read this if you think it could trigger you.

*Also, I read something similar on here but couldn’t find it, so if you know, pls tell me so that I could give them credit.

It wasn't enough. The truth was, it was never enough. No number ever seemed right anymore. Each morning you were afraid to weigh yourself, knowing it determined how your day was going to go. For the past few months, the only thing on your mind was weight loss and how you looked. You couldn't focus on anything else, you found it hard to be your positive self and most importantly, you were losing yourself.

You were losing yourself again.

You were not sure how many times this has already happened, but you knew what was going on. There was no reason to try to prevent it though, you felt like you needed to lose a few pounds anyway and saw no harm in doing it this way. Or more accurately, you chose not to see it.

“Y/N baby, I'm leaving” your girlfriend's voice coming from downstairs brought you back to reality. Not realising how long you've been analysing your body in the bathroom; you ran to the front door.

“Still in your pyjamas?” she said while giving you a half-smile. Wilhemina herself was looking as professional as ever, given that it was just 7 AM. She had her hair up, makeup on, and was wearing one of those purple fits that you loved on her. Each morning she amazed you by how good she looked. You leaned in to give her a goodbye-kiss which she gladly returned.

“Have a good day. Love you” you said while getting a hold of her one free hand. She gave it a light squeeze before saying “I made you coffee. I love you too.” And just like that, she was out of the door and you were alone. 

You stood at the doorway for a couple of seconds, deciding what to do today. You had a few online classes that day but they only took up half of the day, leaving the whole afternoon to yourself. 

You went into the kitchen to get your coffee, trying to be as quick as possible. You didn't like being there anymore, it made you feel anxious and guilty. Although, for the majority of your relationship with Mina it has been nothing but nice; you loved cooking dinners for her every day to make her relax and talk about what kind of day the both of you had had, you loved having slow Sunday mornings there. But none of that hasn't happened for quite a while now. Avoiding meals equalled constant lying; on the weekend you’d sleep in since your energy levels were constantly low, and most days you’d lie to get out of eating dinner. You would say that you had to study for a test, had an assignment due or simply that you had already eaten by the time Wilhemina got home.

All of these thoughts were flooding your mind from just standing in the room. You quickly grabbed the cup and left to go into your home office.

Your classes began at 8 and by the time noon arrived you were done for the day. You couldn’t focus on anything your lecturers were saying, which wasn’t uncommon, but this time it wasn’t just the fact that you were exhausted that kept you from paying attention. You kept thinking about how your relationship was slowly starting to fail. You and Mina were in love, but the truth is, your lies were undermining the trust between you two. Until your relapse, you had never lied to her and that’s why she knew that she could always count on you. But she started noticing how distant you were getting and how little time you wanted to spend with her; it hurt her, but she decided to just play along and pretend like everything was fine.

You were aware of all of this. You knew you needed to fix this but sadly enough, you didn’t know how to do that. There was no way you’d be willing to eat - the fear was too overwhelming for you. That’s why you decided to do the next best thing - a quick fix.

The first thing you came up with was a visit at work. There was a high risk of catching your girlfriend taking out her frustrations on one of her poor employees, but the only thing on your mind at that moment was making Wilhemina feel loved. You were mad at yourself for neglecting her because you knew that she deserved way better than that.

You got dressed and made your way to Kineros Robotics, stopping along the way at her favourite coffee shop. You had worked at the company a few years prior, so you knew most of the people by name and knew the place perfectly.

“Hey Jenny!” you greeted your former co-worker with a smile once you’ve made your way up to the front desk. “Y/N! What are you doing here?” she said while looking away from her computer. “Oh, I’m looking for a woman and thought she might be here. You may have seen her actually; long red hair, very kind, the same height as me… Does that ring any bells?”

“Was she wearing purple by any chance?” she asked jokingly.

“You know what? It is possible! How’d you know?” you answered and gave her a toothy smile.

“Try her office Y/N/N. But just a warning: she screamed at me today for letting in a delivery-guy, so she’s probably not in the best mood,” she said while pointing you in the direction.

You knew this was your fault; she does get snappier at work when she's worried about something. So, not only are you two miserable but others get screamed at more frequently. Maybe a quick fix wouldn’t be enough this time, but it was the best you could do for now.

You arrived at Mina’s office to find it empty so you hesitantly made your way down to the guys’ office. It didn’t take long for you to hear muffled voices, one of which belonged to the woman you were looking for, and you could tell that she was upset about something. Upon entering the room, you saw her; she had her back towards you and was supporting herself by the cane in her right hand. Just this image alone was enough to make your heart race. Jeff and Mutt were bending down to sniff what seemed like their daily dose of cocaine. There were also two girls sitting on a table near them, probably just random hookers the guys hired for the day.

“No, no, no, that’s not what I said. What I meant was, that you should watch your temper more” Mutt said loudly before turning around to start typing on his keyboard.

You saw Wilhemina tighten her grip on her cane, “Excuse me?” she said in a cold tone, clearly getting ready to argue.

Jeff stood up after attempting to clean the powder from his nose, “Come on babe. You know you could be nicer to the employees”.

“Shut up Jeff,” you said sternly, making all the heads turn in your direction. “You’re paying her to do all the work around here that you are too lazy to do yourselves, not to be nice to people.” You could see the surprise on Wilhemina's face, but it didn't take her long to regain her composure and protectively reach for your hand once you've reached her side.

Jeff smiled at you and said “Y/N! Long-time no see. Have you finally changed your mind?”

You haven’t seen the two idiots for a couple of months, almost making you forget how gross they were. You took a step forward and stated “I wouldn’t touch your slimy dick with a two-feet pole,” which made both of them laugh slightly. “I'm here to put you in your place since you obviously still need to be reminded,” you continued giving them a cocky smirk. You knew they would not budge, but it was a nostalgic way of entertainment.

“Wow, you don’t have to be so rude baby,” he said pretending to be offended, “Seems to me like Ms.Venable has a bad influence on you.”

Oh, it was on. You were ready to shoot another remark but were stopped by your girlfriend’s hand giving you a squeeze and lightly pulling you back.

“I would choose my next words carefully if I were you; you’re on very thin ice,” Mina said while staring at Jeff. She would normally avoid confrontation with them but her possessive side got the best of her in that moment. Softening her expression, she turned to face you, “Would you wait for me in my office? I need to sort some things out.”

You nodded and turned on your heel to leave. Hearing Jeff shout at you “The offer still stands!” made you turn once more and say truthfully “Hope your brain turns into mush soon, asshole.”

Once you were out of the door and far enough that nobody thought you could hear them anymore Mutt started the conversation, “Damn Ms.Venable, are you even feeding her?” which made a look of confusion appear on Wilhemina's face. “Now, what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with a hint of offence, trying to find an answer in the face of one of them. Since Jeff was the one who knew you the longest, he decided to explain, “Oh don’t tell me you haven’t noticed anything,” still seeing the puzzled look on his secretary’s face, he went on, “For fuck’s sake, don’t you live together? You must have noticed the weight loss, plus Y/N is never very subtle about this.”

That’s when it clicked and Wilhemina finally understood what Jeff was implying, “She's never subtle? This has happened before?”

She waited impatiently for an answer, hoping that all of this was just a sick joke; the other two exchanged a look of mutual understanding and Mutt finally said: “You should talk to her.”

You paced around the office trying to figure out what to do and how to fix this situation. You knew that Mina was hurt and probably even disappointed; you knew her instinct would be to build her walls up again and you were terrified she wouldn’t let you fully in again. Once you heard the sounds of her cane getting closer, you knew there was no preparing for this.

She entered the room with a somewhat disapproving expression on her face, which she successfully hid when you shot her a warm smile, waiting for her to sit in the chair while you leant on her table. Sitting down, she looked at the cup you were nervously playing with and narrowed her eyes at you. “I thought you might need cheering up today, so I got you your favourite,” you said while placing the coffee on her desk. And you could swear, at that exact moment, you saw love light up her eyes, and the slight smile she offered you gave you butterflies, just like the first time you saw her smile like that. The silence between you that followed made you play with your fingers anxiously but after a while, it was broken by Wilhemina's soft voice, “Well thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But that's not the only reason I stopped by. I've finished all my work for the week…” you traced off preparing yourself to say the latter part, which you'd much rather avoid, “So I thought that I could cook dinner for us tonight because I haven’t done that for a while now. And I wanted to ask you if there was anything you’d like.” At that point your heart was beating so fast you were sure she could hear it.

She could see how uncomfortable you were but wasn’t able to pinpoint the reason for your behaviour; she didn’t know whether it was due to your relationship hitting a rough patch or because Jeff and Mutt might have been right. Either way, she knew she’d find out tonight; playing it cool she kissed you on the cheek and told you that it was completely up to you.

Cooking the food was fine, calming even, but once it was done you realised that you actually had to eat it which caused you to panic. You tried to calm down but your eating disorder made that almost impossible. You sat at the table for what seemed like hours trying to come up with an excuse, eventually deciding to just drink wine and lie if you were to be questioned.

You were disturbed from your state by the door opening and your girlfriend coming into view. She locked eyes with you instantly. You could tell that she was exhausted, that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary after all, but there was more tonight. Wilhemina hasn’t been able to concentrate on anything else than you for the rest of the afternoon. She analysed the situation, her potential steps and their outcomes for the whole ride home. What scared her the most was the fact that in both scenarios, she was running a risk of losing you.  

You were both tense, expecting the other one to start a fight and unable to relax, so you only made small talk. You sat at the table with your glass of wine, playing with the food on your plate while watching Mina observe you closely. Then the tension got too much and she barked out, “Aren't you going to eat?” in a tone so cold, it reminded you of the times you worked for her. She held eye contact with you, almost daring you to lie to her. Almost daring you to start a fight that would break her heart. You quickly answered, saying that you ate right before she came so you were pretty full. Keeping your eyes on her face, you saw her expression change - she went from being irritated to being seemingly sad in a matter of seconds.

“Do you still love me?”

Once the question left her lips, there was no taking it back and it physically hurt you that she had to ask. It hurt to know that Wilhemina felt so abandoned by you, she actually thought you were going to leave her; and judging by the look in her eyes, she was ready for you to say “no”. Wasting no time, you answered, “Of course. Of course, I still love you, Mina.” hoping to sound genuine enough for her to believe you. You watched her closely, waiting for her reaction, but to your surprise, her feelings were shoved back down just as quickly as they surfaced.

She straightened her posture before stating, “Well, in that case, we need to talk.” You felt yourself freeze, knowing exactly what was about to go down.

“Have you been eating?” she asked, not letting you drift your eyes away from hers. You knew she’d catch on eventually and call you out, but you had hoped you had a little more time. With a confused expression on your face, you said, “What do you mean?”.

Wrong answer. Wilhemina was tired of your bullshit and you trying to hide it from her. Her face seemingly hardened as she explained, “I haven’t seen you have a meal in weeks. You’re always making excuses, saying you’re too busy to sit down with me. The two idiots even implied this isn’t the first time this has happened.”

You knew there was no point in pretending anymore, so not caring about the consequences anymore, you snapped, “Oh, so it took Jeff and Mutt telling you everything for you to notice? Good to know.” You got up to leave but the sudden sound of Mina’s cane hitting the floor made you stop in your tracks. “Sit your ass down,” she ordered through gritted teeth. Seeing how mad she was getting and how her knuckles whitened, you thought it was better to obey. Although Wilhemina liked establishing dominance, she very rarely raised her voice at you. But this was different, she was pissed that you refused to take care of yourself and she knew she had to be strict.

“Y/N, eat. Now,” she demanded in a stern tone. You were sitting down, fork in one hand and anxiously pulling the skin on your leg with the other. After a few minutes of silence, she reached for your hand under the table and with a pleading look in her eyes, she said softly, “Baby… please, try. For me.”

You couldn’t stand seeing her like this, so you hesitantly started to eat. You hated it, and the feeling of food in your stomach made you sick. Wilhemina rubbed slow circles on your hand in an attempt to calm you down. Despite her effort, tears started to fall down your cheeks about halfway through the meal, but you still managed to finish everything.

Seeing the plate finally empty caused you to sob uncontrollably. Mina approached you quickly and put her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. In between sobs, you whispered, “I hate you so much right now.” In response, she said, “Shhh, I know. I know,” while stroking your hair.

“You did good, little one.”

Sleepless Nights ( S.R )

summary: Reid and Y/N aren’t the most fond of each other. So what happens when they can’t sleep, have to share a bed, and be married.

pairing: Spencer Reid and female reader

a/n: AHH okay so here it is! It’s my first au so it’s probably not the best. But big thanks to @anepiphany! Ani baby none of this would be happening without you! Thank you for you tips and making me not go insane! Also pls tell me if I slept something wrong cuz like, your girl not the best when it comes to it. Also there will def be a loophole somewhere in my case and if you find one, just let it slide because life is filled with loopholes ❤️ also this is gonna be a two parter!

warnings: mentions of a case, little angst (like the smallest amount), fluff really though

remember to like and reblog!!

You were always the type of person that got along with everyone. And by everyone you meant everyone. You were a people pleaser, always changing your personality for someone. To the security guard, you were a sports junkie, always catching the latest games. To the guy who worked at the bookshop, you were the classical girl. And to the barista, you were the girl who was always late but always paid 3 dollars extra tip. But Dr. Spencer Reid was the only exception. 6’1 and standing tall. Mr. Eidetic Memory and 187 IQ but oh God how you cared for him. You loved him, you loved him more than all the moons in the galaxy. But him? He hated you, so naturally, you hated him too. As the saying goes, if you can't beat them, join them.

“Guys we got a new case,” Garcia says.

You walked into the room and sat to the seat closest to the front where Garcia would be since she was your best friend. Ironically that was the seat farthest from Reid.

“Okay, so this is Mira Normen and her husband John Normen. They had gotten married 2 months prior to their deaths. Mira was 25 years old and she was a teacher at the local middle school. John was 26 and he ran a local pet grooming business. As you can see, but not me for obvious reasons, they were both stabbed once in their chest and then once in their thigh. Mira was shot once in the heart and once in the head and John was shot twice in the heart and twice in the throat. The M.E. found a ring stuffed into both of their throats. And not the cheap kind, I mean a year's worth of salary for one of us.”

“Okay, so this guy’s rich,” You said.

“Yeah, no shit sherlock,” Reid said.

“Guys,” Hotch said in a stern voice “Garcia do we know anything else?”

“Yes actually. They were both last spotted at an event for rich people. So like something Rossi would go to.” She said, chuckling at the last part.

“You and I both know very well that I do not go to those kinds of events. I stay at home for god sakes.” Rossi says causing you and a couple of other people to chuckle.

“Why does this case sound so familiar?” JJ asks, breaking the chuckles.

“Well there was a case exactly like this a couple of years back if my memory is correct, which it always is. We tried to solve it but we just couldn't so it ended up as a cold case.” Reid said.

“And everythings the same?” JJ asked.

“Yep, everything. Well except the city.” Reid said.

“Great, well i think we got everything. Wheels up in 30.” Hotch says while getting up.

-------

You sat alone, like always. At first everyone was concerned, like they had done something, but they then soon realized that you just liked to be alone and this was really the only time.

“Okay, so I checked if anyone had moved in the years and I have 5 names. Thomas Maddison, Stephanie June, Eliza Honeycutt, Devi Paradise, and Klaus Hiller. And only one moved to our little town and that would be Miss Eliza Honeycutt.” Garcia said.

“Can you ch-” Morgan was saying but got cut off when she said

“Already did ‘Hot Chocolate’. Miss Eliza moved a total of 3 months after the case. Looks like it was due to a messy divorce. Her and Mr. Maddison had not been going strong for the last couple of months and it looks like they decided to call quits just before you guys came to town.”

“Can you-” Morgan started to say but then was again cut off by Garcia.

“Already got you babes. The address should be sent to your tablets.” Everyone was still looking at her, “that means look at your tablets.” She says while gesturing her hands making them look down.

“We got it babygirl,” Morgan said without being interrupted.

“Great! Now, this is the time I leave and let you amazing little people do your jobs!” And with that, she was out and so were you.

-------

It was 10 pm when you got to the hotel. You weren't exhausted but you definitely were not in the mood to solve a murder or multiple in this case. You all had checked in now was your favorite time of all choosing rooms. You never bunked with anyone unless Garcia, but that's if she ever came on a case. Emily and JJ were already gone, same with Hotch and Rossi. You were about to grab the key for the single room but Morgan got it before you.

“Sorry hot stuff, I need room alone this time.”

“What!? Why!?”

“I don't need to explain myself to you Y/N,” Moran says, and just like that he was gone.

You and Reid grabbed the keys without looking at each other and walked in the elevator. You both did not make any eye contact until you got into the room. There was only one bed. You immediately called room service but they said that there were no more rooms available so you two were stuck with that one.

“Okay, which one of us is gonna sleep on the floor?” you heard Reid say.

“Excuse me,?”

“You heard me.”

“Oh stop being such a baby Reid. We both know that if you don't sleep on a bed or something remotely similar you get all grumpy and get headaches all day. And if I don't sleep on a bed or something similar I get high on caffeine and get paranoid. So for the sake of the team, we are gonna sleep on the goddamn bed together!”

He didn't know you paid attention to him like that. Sure everyone knew that he would get grumpy, but headaches? No one, not even JJ. He didn't like to tell people about them fearing of being babied around even more than he already is. Although he did know that whenever you don't get enough sleep not only do you high on caffeine, but you have nightmares. You never told anyone except Garcia of course. He’d realized that you had nightmares after a group holiday to Rossi’s beach house, he heard you talking in your sleep and there were not good things being said.

“Okay geez fine whatever. Are you gonna go shower first, or am I”

“Me obviously,” you say while getting your clothes.

The water was hot when you got in, just how you like it. You started to soak your hair in the water needing to cool down a little and prepare yourself for the days ahead of you. All you could think about was sharing the same bed with him. With the guy, you're in love with but doesn’t know. And will never know.

After 30 minutes you got out of the shower and changed. You wore a pair of shorts and a loose flowy t-shirt which you had knotted after putting it on because it was too big. After you brushed your teeth, did your skincare, and brushed your hair.

“Finally, how long does it take?” You heard Reid say while you were walking out of the bathroom. He didn't look up until you sat on the bed turning the tv on.

“It takes 40 minutes Reid, it always takes 40 minutes. But you would never know because you've never had a girl stay over,”

“Oh, you're so funny aren't you,” he says in an annoyed way.

“Yeah, I am.” You said smirking while looking up expecting to see him annoyed but instead greeted with a small smile which was then washed away quickly by the sound of his voice.

“Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower now. Don't wait up.”

“ I won't, don't worry.” You say while he goes into the bathroom. You swear you saw him smile. It may have been small but it was there.

-------

“You waited for me.” You hear while turning off the tv. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. His hair was an absolute mess, and you could tell that he had to take a shower in not the hottest water.

“Ha, yeah no. You took like 10 minutes, did you think I was gonna fall asleep in 10 minutes.”

“Yeah well, that's what happens when you take up most of the hot water.”

“I'm sorry, you should have gone in the shower first.”

“You wanted to go into the shower first!”

“Okay and? Look, can we just go to bed or something? We have a long ass day ahead of us.”

You felt the bed dip and got chills all over. He didn't seem to notice, thankfully. You were cold, but not cold enough to want to layer up. You looked over and the time and it read 11:15. You tried to sleep, but you just couldn't. So again you looked over and read 11:39, and then it was 12:06. You felt like you were going insane.

“Why are you still up?” Reid said in a raspy voice while turning over to face you.

“Huh? Oh, um, I couldn't, can't sleep.”

“Ugh, fine come here.”

“What?” Before you could say anything he had wrapped his arm around you and forced you to nuzzle up against his chest. It actually felt pretty nice. You felt like you were on top of the world and that everything was going to be okay. You put your arm on him after processing what was happening. He then pulled you in closer and when you looked up at him you realized that he was knocked out, gone like a light in one of those horror movies. And before you realized it you were out too.

-------

“Y/L/N wake up,” is all you hear. The sun was barely out yet, so naturally, you just wanted to go back asleep.

“5 more minutes”

“Fine.” Although he didn't want to say anything or admit in this case. This was the best sleep that he’d gotten in a while. At first, he thought it was because of the way he slept but he then quickly realized that it was because of you. With your legs intertwined with his, one of your arms on his chest and the other in his hand. Your hair, so messy, yet so perfect at the same time and he would give anything to fall back asleep with you. He was in love. He was in love and was falling, falling harder than ever.

“Y/N, come on it's been 10 minutes. We need to go, get up.”

“What? Oh. Wait, fuck, what time is it?” You say in your very raspy yet airy morning voice.

“6:13, now we have to get ready or we will be late.”

You didn't want to get up, you really didn't. You wanted this moment to never end, but sadly time was not on your side for this one. “We never speak of last night, got it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Its agent.”

-------

“Miss Honeycutt, hi I’m Agent Y/L/N,” You say while sitting down for the interrogation.

“Hi yeah, why am I here?”

“Oh, no one’s told you yet?’

“Well yes the people who rudely (italicize) came into my home said something but I wasn’t really listening.”

“Oh okay then. You're here as a suspect for multiple murders.” Her face was in total and utter shock. “There has been a murder recently that connects to a murder that took place back a couple of years ago. You lived there when it had happened and then you moved. And now you’re here because a murder played out exactly that same way as the one that took place in the past.”

“Look, I have a valid reason for moving-”

“Divorce I know.”

“Yes, well you don’t know the reason.”

“Oh, and what would that be?”

“I was cheating on him, Thomas. He found out and then immediately filed for divorce.”

“Huh, is that so. Well, you kno-” You were cut off by the sound of the one and the only doctor himself.

“Y/L/N can I please speak to you.”

“Um yeah.” You walk outside of the interrogation room to face him. “What is it?”

“I don't think she did it. The way she’s reacting to all of this is way too natural to fake and she still hasn't called for a lawyer to be present. Normally in these types of situations the un-sub mostly always calls for a lawyer or anyone in that case.”

“I know, I know, I know. But she mentioned an ex-husband that could help us with this case.”

“So what you're just gonna “interrogate” her until she starts to talk about her former husband, or just talk about that and only that as a whole?”

“Yes, precisely.”

“You amaze me Y/N,” this was the first time he said your name in conversation naturally and not because he was forced to for an undercover assignment and shit. Well except for this morning but you can't decide if that was a small little fever dream or actual life so it doesn't count.

“And I you Spencer.” He noticed, oh he noticed and his heart practically burst from his chest because of the serotonin he got when you said his name. It was like every time you said his name an angel got its wings.

-------

“Hey Garcia, could you dig a little deeper on our little Thomas Maddison?” You ask her.

“Of course pumpkin. Okay so here's what I got. Thomas Maddison born May 30th leaving him to be a Gemini and you know how I feel about those. He moved from our fun little town too, well, um,-” was what she said before being cut off by Emily.

“What do you mean by ‘um’ Garcia?” She said with a puzzled expression.

“Well, ‘um’ means he disappeared from the face of Earth. Completely gone. No new dental records, no new home, I mean, not even a simple receipt. It’s like he just clicked ‘erase all’ after the divorce.”

“Is that even possible?” I ask.

“Well yes, but you have to literally become a new person for that to happen.”

“Garcia look into anything in his life that could possibly lead him to have hundreds of thousands of dollars,” Reid said.

“Okay, so it says here in one article that he owned a local jewelry store that got burned down around that time of the divorce. The local paper wrote it off as an accident but everyone thought he wanted to skip town after the divorce so he would just take all of the insurance money. Which I guess is kind of true. Um but anyway, yeah that’s really the only explanation. His parents didn't leave him that much money in the will, and he wasn't a drug dealer.”

“Okay, thanks hun! You've been of more help then you know. Call Hotch and everyone else in. I think we got the profile.” You said before ending the call.

* literally 5 or 6 minutes later *

“Okay, so the guy we’re looking for is very popular with the people. He always tries to make everything about himself. Your classic narcissist.” Hotch starts off with.

“This guy hates love though. He never brings up the topic and hates it when people bring it up. And although he hates love, he looks like the guy who could pick anyone he wanted, although he relatively picks on younger women.” JJ adds.

“Yes, and this guy is going to be a white caucasian male. Most likely in his late 20 or early 30s. And he is going to have wealth and will show it off as often as he can.” Emily says.

“Any questions” you heard Hotch ask.

“There’s an event tomorrow just like the one that Mira and John attended. Will he be there? And if so, do you think he will attack again? And if yes then what will do?” You see an officer asking.

“Well yes, we heard of that and already planned everything out. Tomorrow night Agent Y/L/N and DR.Reid will be attending the event.” Rossi said.

You were in complete shock, and frankly so was Reid. You guys never agreed to this, and as much as I love black tie events, they aren't really my cup of tea when there can possibly be a serial killer there. Not to mention the guy I fucking love more than anyone in the world would be there, with me (italicize). Like now I have to look badass and sexy (italicize) at the same time, although that wouldn't be that hard you thought to yourself.

“Guys, can Reid and I please talk to you all in private.” You give Rossi and Hotch very unobvious yet obvious death stares.

“Yeah, now please.” He says.

* again like 2 or 3 minutes later *

“Um hello, last time I never agreed to this and by the look on Reid’s face, neither did he.”

“Y/N you heard, our unsub likes younger women,” Derek says,

“Okay well then just send in Emily, or JJ, or both in that case.” You say in an angry tone.

“Oh baby, you think we're young? Were flattered but no. Sadly out of all of us, you look the youngest, and are the youngest.” JJ says while laughing along with Emily.

“And for you Reid, you out of most people should know that the murders happened between young lovers who got married. And Derek doesn’t call you pretty boy for nothing. Rossi says following JJs statement.

“We really aren't getting out of this one huh?” He asks.

“No. Now it's late so I want you all to get a good night's rest and be ready tomorrow. Reid and Y/L/N you guys can sleep in a little but you'll have to be ready by 4:30.” Hotch says. And with that, everyone goes back to their rooms.

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once” – John Green, The Fault in our Stars

Part two coming tomorrow!

I'll be holding on to you

Buddie

"I should have seen it, it was all so obvious Buck, so clear in front of me. It's you, it's always been you."

read on ao3

The second time Eddie opens his eyes, it only takes a few seconds for him to understand where he is. The sunlight coming in through the windows is much clearer than usual, but even so, it is impossible not to notice that he is in his room lying on the bed while staring at the ceiling. The small movement at his side makes Eddie turn around and he catches his breath when he sees who's there with him.

Because it's Buck, a Buck who obviously isn't wearing any clothes on top, leaving all the skin on his chest exposed, lying on his side with his face very close to Eddie. Buck, sleeping peacefully and so beautiful framed by the yellow and orange nuances of the sunlight.

Eddie lies on his side approaching, careful not to wake Buck, until his body is practically glued to Buck's. How many minutes is he there? Just watching Buck sleep?

"You are staring." Buck's husky voice awakens Eddie from his thoughts.

"I'm gazing."

"It's creepy."

"It's romantic."

Eddie sighs when he hears Buck chuckle before opening his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. Buck gets even closer, sinking his body against Eddie's who welcomes him by wrapping his arms around Buck's waist.

"Good Morning!"

Buck says almost in a whisper and Eddie can't even answer before receiving a soft, gentle kiss on the lips. The touch of Buck's fingers caressing his face makes Eddie tremble. The taste of Buck's lips is like coming home. It's perfect.

"You need to wake up Eddie."

"What? Buck, I'm already awake." Eddie responds smiling without understanding and wraps his arms tighter around Buck's waist.

"No Eddie, you need to wake up."

"Buck ... I don't understand."

"Christopher needs you." Buck has a sad look now and Eddie feels his heart sink with the sadness that Buck is feeling. "I need you. Please, Eddie."

"No! I don't understand, Buck, I'm here! I'm awake."

"Please, Eddie. Come home. We need you ... please."

Eddie despairs when he feels Buck's body being pulled away from him and as much as he tries, Eddie can't move, can't reach Buck. Eddie screams his name, asks, begs him to return ... and then the darkness embraces him again.

The third time Eddie opens his eyes, it's for a white room with low lighting and an intense smell of sanitizer, it doesn't take much more than a few seconds to know that he was in a hospital.

Because he had been hurt. Shot in the shoulder. Again. Excellent.

"Edmundo ?! Oh, sweetheart, you're awake!"

The soft, low voice comes into his ears, and immediately a face appears in front of Eddie's eyes. Ana. His girlfriend. Except that she is not the one he wants. He wants Buck and the warmth that warmed Eddie when he held him in his arms. He wants the light, sleepy smile early in the morning. He wants the kiss ... Buck's loving, perfect kiss.

"Buck !? Christopher!"

"They're outside. He's with Christopher ... I thought ... I thought it should be me here when you wake up."

"Buck ?!"

Eddie says again, his head still a little confused and unable to process everything she is saying, he just knows he wants Buck. Buck is the one who should be here, Buck is the one who should be the first person Eddie would see when he woke up, Buck and Christopher. They are the two most important people in Eddie's life, the two people he loved the most. God, everything was as clear as day now. Always there, exposed in his face so obvious that it is even comical. And suddenly he is no longer confused. His mind has never been clearer before.

"Edmundo, I don't understand ... why ..."

"I'm sorry, Ana. I never meant to hurt you. I swear to you that I really believed that the two of us were right for each other."

"You can't be serious right now. You can't tell me that you really ..."

"We're done, Ana. We should never have even started. I was blind to what was in front of me, and for that, I am so sorry."

"No! You are just confused. It must be the medications and ..."

"Ana, please don't! Don't do this to yourself. It's over. We're over."

"You will regret it. Edmundo. You will realize the mistake you are making and you will regret it."

"I would never regret choosing him, Ana."

Buck hates the hospital waiting room, all right, truth be told, he's always been on the other side of the door. Always the patient. But Buck definitely hates the hospital's waiting room. He had woken up practically with the sun, after almost reading an entire book to Christopher, the child finally managed to fall asleep and Buck refused to leave his side, so at some point he too fell asleep, sitting against the headboard. Chris was still scared and had clung to Buck, refusing to leave his lap even for an instant. So here was Buck, sitting on a chair in the waiting room, with Christopher in his lap hiding his face on Buck's chest while Carla read a book to try to distract him. He wanted to get in Eddie's room, he wanted to see Eddie. He wanted to take Chris to see his father. But Ana insisted that it should be her and Christopher to be there, and when Christopher refused to go with her, and clung more tightly to Buck. Well, the woman just twisted her angry face and walked away, heading towards Eddie's room without giving the slightest chance of anyone saying anything. That had been over an hour ago, and she hadn't left yet. This means that Eddie has not yet woken up, because Buck knows that Christopher would be the first person Eddie would ask to see, so Ana would leave for Christopher to enter. He would just have to wait.

And that was the problem, right?

Buck didn't want to wait.

"What do you think about going to eat something? Aren't you hungry, my love? I'm sure we can find something very tasty in the cafeteria."

Carla's voice awakens Buck from his thoughts and he twists his neck a little so he can look into Chris's eyes, who instead of answering just sought Buck's look.

"That's a great idea, isn't it Superman, you hardly ate your breakfast and I know you must be hungry."

"But ... Daddy ..."

"I will stay here. If he wakes up, I promise I will call you."

"Promise?"

"I promise, buddy."

Carla and Christopher have barely disappeared down the hall when Buck notices Ana coming towards her, her quick steps and red eyes make it clear that she is crying. He stands up worried, but she just looks at him furiously.

"I hope you are happy now."

Then she leaves, saying nothing more and leaving Buck more confused than ever. But whatever her problem was, Buck couldn't care less. He practically runs to the room where Eddie is, and when he walks through the door and sees him there, with his eyes open looking back at Buck, it's such an intense emotion that Buck can't help himself, he bites his lower lip hard and his vision blurs through tears.

"Hey."

"Hey? You almost die on me and everything you say is hey?" Buck lets out a choked laugh and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You know it wasn't my fault, right?"

"Do you mean different from the time you cut the line?"

"Oh come on Buck, don't do that."

Eddie smiles as he sees Buck roll his eyes, everything looks so much better now, so much simpler now. With Buck here. But it was always like that, wasn't it? Better, easier, brighter. Everything was always better with Buck around, damn it, Eddie had been stupid and blind. There, so close to him all this time.

"You scared me, Eddie," Buck murmurs in a broken voice. "I thought..."

"I know, I'm sorry." With a sigh he reaches for Buck's hand and intertwines their fingers, it feels good, a feeling of warmth that takes over his whole body. "But it's okay now. And I'm happy that you're here."

"Of course I'm here. I was outside waiting for Ana to leave, which by the way, she looked angry when she passed me."

"We're over."

"Oh ... I ... I'm sorry, Eddie. I can't believe she did this to you."

"She didn't. I did."

"I don't understand, I thought I liked her."

"I did, just not enough. She just wasn't the one. My heart didn't belong to her, it belongs to someone else." Eddie smiles, taking Buck's hand to his chest, right where his heart is so Buck can feel his heartbeat at his fingertips.

"Eddie ?!" Buck can't even breathe, his gaze going from Eddie's eyes to their hands.

"I should have seen it, it was all so obvious Buck, so clear in front of me. It's you, it's always been you."

"What are you saying?" Buck mumbles in a choked voice

"That I love you, I'm completely in love with you. And that I'm terrified that you don't feel the same, but I need to tell you. I need you to know that I dreamed of you, dreamed that you were on my side asking me to come back, that I was lost and confused, and that it was your voice that made me find my way back, to you and Christopher. Home, Buck, you and Chris are my home and I love you, I love you so much, and..."

"I love you too."

Buck says the words in a broken and sobbing voice and Eddie can no longer hold himself, he grabs Buck's neck and pulls him towards his lips. He tastes millions of times better than in the dream. Buck tastes like sunlight, strawberries, happiness, and all the good things in the universe. It's wonderful, perfect, and addictive and Eddie could spend all eternity kissing Buck. Eddie sighs loving the sensation of their tongues engaging in a slow and calm dance, exploring the territory, recognizing every little corner of their mouths without any hurry, because they know they will have all the time in the world.

The next few days at the hospital are terrible, Eddie hates every second and can't wait to go home. Christopher stayed with him on the first day, but due to the pandemic, Eddie convinced his son to stay safe at home, promising that they would talk at least twice through face time. Carla is a huge help and stays with Christopher while Buck is working or at the hospital keeping company with Eddie. But at night, Buck goes home to be with Christopher, and the three talks on his cell phone before the boy goes to sleep. The entire 118 family visits, taking turns to make sure Eddie always has someone by his side. It's good, the feeling of having so many people beside him. Eddie always knew that 118 was a big, close-knit family, but at times like this, he realizes how close everyone is.

A week later, he finally goes home. Buck picks him up at the hospital and when Eddie walks through the front door of his house he is met by all his friends, Pepa and Abuela. Balloons and a banner are hanging in his living room. He has a cake with the words: 'No more shoulders left to shoot' that makes Eddie laugh and Hen smile saying that the cake is red velvet.

"It bleeds when you cut it."

He doesn't really understand why it makes Buck laugh, it seems like a joke between the two of them, but Eddie doesn't care at the moment. His whole family is here, he can finally hug his son. They spend hours talking, eating, and laughing while the kids play around the house and then disappear to play video games in Christopher's room. That feeling of having found his place in the world is good, since Eddie decided to come to Los Angeles, his parents have done nothing but question Eddie and make him question himself. But here, surrounded by people he trusts and loves, he has never been more sure about his choice.

The conversation with Christopher is more than overdue, while he was in the hospital, Eddie knew that the boy wouldn't question Ana's absence, but now with Eddie at home, he knows that Christopher would find it strange that the woman disappeared, so after everyone's gone, leaving only him, Christopher and Buck at home. Eddie expects Buck to help his son get ready for bed and goes to the bedroom so they can talk. The conversation is, at the very least strange, Christopher accepts the break-up with Ana well and seems even relieved that his father is no longer dating her and Eddie feels like punching himself for really thinking that Ana was the best for his son. When he says he's dating Buck, Christopher's reaction changes and Eddie can feel his boyfriend freeze beside him. For a few seconds, Christopher looks at them both with narrowed eyes and a confused expression.

"Does that mean Buck is going to spend more time with us?"

"Well, yes, kiddo. He's going to be spending a lot of time with us now."

"Is he going to live here too?"

"No, Chris, I'm not going to live here with you, buddy."

"Maybe in the future, Chris," Eddie responds over Buck, looking quickly at his boyfriend who still looks frozen and doesn't even blink.

"You should move in with us, Buck. Everything's better when you're here. We can eat pancakes every morning."

Christopher says as if it is the most obvious and simple thing in the world, and when Eddie sighs more relieved asking if his son is okay with him and Buck being together, Christopher just laughs and throws himself on Buck's lap hugging him, then he reaches out for Eddie to join the hug.

"I knew Dad. Carla said people who love each other are connected by invisible strings, remember? I knew that one day you and Buck would be able to see the strings connecting you two."

After that everything is so ... simple. So simple that it sometimes scares Eddie.

He didn't know that a relationship could be like that, with Shannon he knew only two settings. Either they were fighting, or they were in bed having sex. With Ana, it was easy. There was no spark, and she always had to initiate any touch.

But with Buck, he knows a type of relationship that he doesn't even know existed. Nothing changes between them, but at the same time, everything seems to change. They still eat pizza and play video games with Christopher, or watch some animated movie that Chris chooses. Buck helps him with school activities and they talk about the books that Chris is reading for the School. They go to the park for Christopher to walk with his skate at times that they know it won't be crowded, Buck pushes the boy through the park practically alone since Eddie can't use his shoulder, but Eddie goes back recording every minute loving Christopher's and Buck's laugh

They still spend hours sitting on the couch talking about everything and anything, but now Eddie lies in Buck's arms sighing every time his boyfriend kisses his temple. Sometimes they simply laid there, not talking at all, just enjoying each other's company. Now when Christopher goes to Hen's house for a sleepover with Denny, the two of them just cook some homemade meal - well, Buck is going to cook and Eddie is just going to watch him because the last thing they need is an accident - so they will set the table in a romantic mood. Eddie will even light some candles and put on some soft music to play, it's the perfect romantic night for them. Sometimes they go out, it is rare that they choose to go out, it is safer to stay at home and they even prefer it. But when they go out, it is never for expensive and extravagant restaurants. No, because with Buck, Eddie doesn't have to pretend. Then they go to the Mexican food restaurant a few blocks from Buck's apartment, or the food truck for them to eat the best hot dog in LA, next to the park where they take Chris to skate. Sometimes they go to an Italian Cantina across town and have fun eating pasta and garlic bread and drinking grape juice since Eddie is still on medication for his shoulder. Now, when Buck spends the night, instead of sleeping on the couch, he sleeps in bed with Eddie and that makes it so much more wonderful. Eddie loved it, when in the morning, when everything was silent and the sun started to pass through the curtain and filled the room with a foggy golden-yellow glow, Eddie opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Buck, his blond hair with messy curls contrasting with the white pillow, admiring the sunlight reflected on it, setting it on fire. He heard Buck's steady rhythm of breathing and counted the almost invisible freckles he had on his shoulders, ran his finger almost without touching the mark above his eye, and fell in love with him again and again. Buck could feel he was being admired and then obviously he would eventually wake up with a beautiful smile as he would bite his lower lip, turn to Eddie and arch his back, stretching and saying good morning. They would kiss slowly for a few minutes, then take a shower together enjoying the hot spray of water, later Buck would make breakfast while Eddie woke Chris. The three of them would have breakfast together and Eddie couldn't imagine a more perfect life.

Almost two months pass when they decide to tell their friends that they are together, it is a barbecue at Athena and Bobby's house and the two arrive with their hands intertwined. Athena is the one who opens the door and she smiles in a way that says thousands of words and when they go down the stairs everyone looks at them for a few seconds

"Well, it was about damn time."

Hen's voice echoes and everyone starts laughing and congratulating them for being together. Chimney wrings his face and complains that they only told them about their dating today.

"Last week, guys, if you've told us last week I would have made some good money, thank you very much."

Eddie and Buck don't quite understand, but they don't care, they just sit on a bench in the garden and Eddie settles against his boyfriend's chest and Buck puts his arm over Eddie's shoulder, and then they embark on a conversation with Bobby that is next to them on the grid. The day is sunny, the children's laughter can be heard all over the house, everyone is having fun and Eddie can't help admiring his boyfriend when Maddie leaves Jee-Yun in his arms.

Days later when he tells Carla at his house, she looks at him with a wise smile.

"I'm glad you finally followed your heart, Eddie."

After his friends, it's time to finally tell his family. Abuela and Pepa are the first and they surprise Eddie. They just smile and show no surprise at the newness. Abuela just holds him by the face with both hands and kisses him on the forehead.

"Tardaste a ver lo que estabas frente a ti, Edito"

His parents manage to surprise him even more. Eddie expected the look of disapproval, he expected a palestra, where his parents would say all the ways Eddie was ruining his life and dragging Christopher with him. But instead, his mother smiles and asks to know more about the relationship, and Eddie tells them everything, he talks about how Buck is good for him and for Christopher, how he cares for them, how Christopher loves to have Buck in his life. His parents listen to everything and then say that they are happy for him and that they hope that the next time they talk on face time, they expect Buck to be with him so that they officially meet him as his boyfriend. When the call is over, Eddie can't help sobbing feeling that huge weight on his heart is gone, he is just grateful to be home alone.

The months drag on slowly after that, the physical therapy sessions are intense and Eddie hates every second of them. He is tired and in pain almost all the time. But Buck is always there, when he is not on a shift he goes to physical therapy with Eddie and participates in each exercise, helping and encouraging Eddie to remain strong and confident. When they go home, Buck always drags him into a nice, long hot shower, they lie down on the bed, and Buck massages Eddie's aching shoulder and back until he is so relaxed and dismounted that he simply passes out on the bed embarked in deep sleep that renews all his energies. It takes a long time, much longer than Eddie thought it would take, and definitely more than he would like it to take. But finally, he has a clean bill of health and can go back to the fire station. He is greeted with a party just like months ago at his house, they celebrate Eddie's return to work for a few minutes until the siren rings causing everyone to run to the truck. Eddie exhales when he feels the fire truck roam the streets of Los Angeles, enjoying the feeling of being back where he belonged. When Buck interlaces their fingers and looks at Eddie with a huge smile, happy to have his partner back, Eddie smiles even more.

Yes, he really was where he belongs.

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

Brutal (Dean Winchester x Reader)

✾ A/N: More Dean x reader content, but angst this time! Reposting because I had to edit a few things. Gif's credits on it.  Based on the song ‘from the dining table’.

✾ Summary: Unlike her boyfriend, Dean Winchester, the reader wasn’t raised as a hunter. At first, it seems like a hard but worth it job. Unfortunately, you didn't have in mind how brutal all of it could get.

✾ Words: 3k.

"YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF ANYMORE, DEAN!"

The discussion over a delicate subject at the dining table was blossoming into something bigger. (Y/N) was on her feet, shouting at her boyfriend with a shaking voice; a manner that was very uncommon. You were used to Dean being stubborn, and you were not behind him in this aspect which caused a few disagreements here and there. That certain argument, though, was definitive in every meaning of the word.

"I HAVE ALWAYS MADE IT FUCKING CLEAR WHAT THIS LIFE WAS, (Y/N)!" Dean snapped back, anger dripping from his words like venom. He was hurt. How could you say that he was becoming a cold-hearted person? You, of all people. "IF I DON'T KILL IT, IT KILLS ME! THIS ISN'T AN APPLE PIE LIFE, AND YOU KNEW IT WHEN YOU DECIDED TO STAY HERE!"

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT VAMPIRES OR POLTERGEISTS OR WENDIGOS, DEAN! FUCK!" Your usual efficiency with words was starting to tangle with desperation. Dean didn't even see the problem, for God's shake. How could you keep this up? "I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE! I SAW YOU KILL FIVE POSSESSED PEOPLE TODAY!"

"DEMONS!" He groaned and slapped the table. You jumped in surprise, making him regret getting out of control and coaxing a softer, calmer tone from his mouth. "I killed demons, not people."

"The demons were possessing them, and you killed them off without any regret. You didn't even take a minute to consider other options."

"What other options?" he questioned, obviously upset. What the hell were you doing? Becoming the devil's advocate all of sudden?

"Using the demon-killing knife to stab a non-vital part of their bodies? Maybe an exorcism?"

"None of those options would end the problem permanently. Do you have any idea how many sons of a bitch came back from hell to get Sam and me? It's them or us, (Y/N). And I will always choose us." Dean was aware that you weren't raised in this life like him and Sam, but this conversation was becoming frustrating and confusing. You were training to be like them. You went to hunts with them. You... You supported him. At least, you did last time he checked. "The human is long gone when they get possessed. Dying is the best thing that could happen to them after that."

You were supposed to be an easy case that turned out to be more complicated than previously expected, what meant both of them staying a little longer in the city, you catching feelings for Dean and vice-versa. After all you had seen, you knew that normal life was a long lost memory that you didn't wish to visit, leave alone live in. Hauntings, traveling across the country, having no banal responsibilities-- that seemed like the kind of dangerous fun you had been looking for your whole life. Then, you came with them. Killing things had never bothered you-- they weren't actually alive, for starts. Until you saw how cold Dean looked when he killed off possessed people-- the humans that were still in there somehow. And he kept doing it as if it were the only option. Of course, this job and violence walked side by side, but not unnecessary lethal choices. Dean certainly shared his portion of brutality, which wasn't tiny, but you would never picture your boyfriend as uncaring. Not until you watched five bodies piled up together, burning. What about the chance that those people should have gotten?

"Are you even listening to yourself, Dean? What if Sam had thought like that when you became a demon!?" Apprehensive, you tried to make him understand what was wrong.

Dean clenched his jaw before his answer came out, "Those are two different things, (Y/N). You know that."

"I..." You flinched, taking a deep breath and letting it out. You shut your eyes before opening them with a determinate glare, locking your gaze with his green one. "I can't. I said I would stand by you through anything, but I can't let this slide. Not like this."

"Because I killed a few demons?" The older Winchester grinned wryly. He was furious, scared by the possibility of you leaving him, and injured by your words. What else could a wounded animal do besides attacking? "I survived, (Y/N). I've killed many others, and I'm not fucking sorry for it. They had it coming. You knew that was my life, and you chose it. What are you going to do now? Play the coward? It's a dirty, fucked up job, but someone has to do it, and you knew that."

Offering a sad smile, you walked towards him and lifted your hand to claim his cheek only for him to pull away from you. Your heart ached, but you needed to do that. Stick to your morals and beliefs.

"I love you." And you did, you truly did. Unfortunately, blood was as normal as water in his mouth, and you couldn't help but remain nauseous after what you tasted. "But there is a better way. Maybe not perfect, but another decision. And if you can't see that, if you can't see why I find it wrong to just rush around with the knife in every situation--" Your voice almost broke. "Goodbye, Dean."

You turned around, passing away from the man you loved before another speech stopped you.

"I bet you regret leaving your home to run away with me now."

You didn't take two seconds to reply, and you desired that he could understand how hard it was for you too. "I would never regret you."

No ray of sunshine licked Dean's face to wake him up. Fortunately for the Winchesters' disorganized sleeping routine, the bunker prevented the sun from invading the window-- a perk of living almost under the land in a bunker.

Instead of a normal reason to emerge from his rest, Dean's eyes fluttered open from an annoying migraine. Perhaps he went a little too hard on the alcohol yesterday, but that was the last thing that mattered. Besides, even if it was an abnormal sensation, he wouldn't trade it for sake of 'drinking like a normal human being', as (Y/N) had teased him so many times before.

(Y/N).

It took two seconds after recovering consciousness to think about you.

“Where are you?” he said in a whisper, playing with himself to the silent walls. Dean laughed with his own brand of self-deprecation-- a learned cruelty to dilute the tug of his emotions before the eldest Winchester had to get up. He knew exactly where you resided and why you were there. He decided against feeding his masochism for once, not glancing at your side of the bed.

To face the light fixtures above him only made his current situation more depressing, just like the hints of paint that (Y/N) had once thrown there. Dean Winchester knew pain like no other; hell, purgatory, an emptied childhood, watching his mother seal a deal with a demon, living with the fact his father had gone to hell to save him, being right in front of Sammy when he died, all the bloody deaths he’d lived through again and again-- the list would go on. He could probably drown in an ocean of his deceased loved ones’ blood and swim there for hours until he reached its edge.

Most of the time, the life of a hunter was synonymous with tragedy.

Therefore, Dean was very experienced when it came to suffering. He even shared a last name with a rifle, for God’s sake. Destruction was stained in his bones. This time, it was a different kind of torment.

His heart had been broken before, sure. He wasn’t in his early twenties, neither was he a saint. Dean was aware that a break in relationships could be devastating.

But again, this time, it was different. (Y/N) had not only broke his heart. You ripped it out and threw it in the trash as you walked out the door without looking back. His trust was in your pockets, and the beliefs clinging to the divine sensation of your touch that left with you.

Dean Winchester was hopeless. Deciding not to mourn for a bit, he closed his eyes from the melancholy. It wasn't a hard job to fall asleep once more. People in his job were always heavy-eyed.

Forty minutes passed by the clock until the Winchester roused again. This moment felt missing without you snuggling up to him or kissing his neck between foolish giggles or even pushing him out of bed when you felt like playing the prankster.

There was no valid reason to remain where he was, glaring at a stupid ceiling that held nothing but an old light you installed together and memories. The yellow and blue paints still held firm where you’d spattered them, jumping in the bed together with your hands drenched in the colors from a gouache paint container just because you’d found the tins somewhere in the bunker. You and Dean became a tangled mess of greens, dirty with paint and kissing. How many sexual encounters happened here, he thought, glaring at this ceiling that looked like three-year-old Sammy’s art project.

The green-eyed man never thought he would feel nostalgic about a stupid ceiling. He had to get out of that room.

Finally raising from the mattress, Dean yawned as he padded towards the kitchen. He didn't mind checking what time it was, knowing he needed an alcoholic getaway. The Winchester sat down, sharing a bottle of Whiskey with his shadow. How distracting it was to make his throat burn when an unpleasant thought attempted to take control of his head.

If he had dared to look through the room, Dean would have noticed the clock's arrow pointing at 10:50 am.

By noon he was already drunk, which took a lot of effort since his tolerance to drinks was a bar high set. Dean groaned, displeased. The buzzy feeling of befuddlement hitting him certainly helped, but he could still affirm that he had never felt less cool. His body was starving for something that wasn't there anymore. Dean's feelings were all over the place, and he didn't have the energy to pick them up at this point.

"I can't believe you are drinking already." Sam sighed, making himself known by Dean in the kitchen. In response, all he got was his brother holding the glass up and drinking all of its bronze liquid. "It's barely noon, Dean. You-- Wait. Are you drunk?"

"Don't start, Sam." He groaned, holding his own cheeks with fingers as his hands slid down to his chin. The gesture was a habit of Dean's when he was fed up with something.

The younger one offered him an indignant glare, which was soon replaced by empathy and sorrow as he watched Dean. His brother was broken. (Y/N) running away from them had really taken him down. Part of Sam was hurt as well-- after all, you were his friend and confidant. But, in all ruthless honesty, he couldn't speak out and point fingers at you on that. Not about the whole situation, at all.

Yet, if Sam was feeling abandoned by his friend, he could only imagine what Dean would be experiencing. You had been a hint of happiness in the middle of misery and combat for Dean. It had been so long since Sammy saw his brother like that, so very long. Suddenly, it disappeared like smoke. And the worst part was that he understood your side. Deep down, the long-haired man knew Dean did, too.

Trying to knock sense back into his brother, or at least a bit of normality, Sam spoke, "You can go out and buy some whiskey. Your bottle was the last one."

"Yeah, right." His voice was impassive, almost serious for such casual conversation. He got up, going to the table to grab Baby's keys.

"Hey, Dean..." Dean turned around to face his brother. Sam’s expression was cautious, voice soft when he continued: "If you want to talk about it, I'm here. It could help."

"I'm pretty sure you heard the screaming yesterday, Sam," Dean replied dryly, an unsettlingly wry smile surfacing. His walls were up. It was an old defense mechanism. "There is nothing to talk about. She left. The sooner we can accept it, the sooner we can move on."

"Move on? You want to move on?" he questioned suspiciously, eyebrows arching to match his inquiry.

Dean didn't answer. He only picked up the keys.

"Dean--"

"Yeah, I think we are out of eggs, too," Dean interrupted. He didn't need to talk about it. Not now. "Whiskey and eggs, got it."

Any other remarks from Sam were ignored as he walked through the door, trotting in direction of his beloved Impala. An old song on one of his cassettes was the soundtrack to his five-minute ride to the nearest store.

Dean went searching for eggs and whiskey, adding a lemon pie that smelled better than himself-- not that it was difficult considering he hadn’t showered since yesterday. The store’s cashier swiped his credit card and offered a polite farewell that was replied with a nod. Everything seemed so normal in the most boring ways.

In the parking lot, a familiar face appeared for the first time in a year. It was Thomas-- a hunter that Dean, you, and Sam had come across during a job in New Mexico.

"Winchester!" The blue-eyed man smiled, making the scar near his lips more evident. Being thrown out of a window left marks sometimes. "It's been too long, dude."

"Cavill." His lips curved into a small smile as he greeted his friend. Laying his green eyes on him, Dean couldn't avoid noticing a familiar shirt. Fuck, he must be hallucinating or thinking too hard about foolish subjects. "Where have you been?"

"Burning bones, decapitating vamps. Same old, same old." Thomas waved his hand, banalizing the supernatural routine as if it were nothing but another Sunday. For them, this was true. "I saw (Y/N) yesterday. She seemed fine. Separate hunts to take different cases?"

His blood burned through an emotional fever in realization. It felt like the boil was intense enough to melt his bones if he remained in front of the other men for too long. Thomas had never been subtle about finding you attractive, and neither was his constant flirting when your cases collided. It didn't help that you and Dean weren't together back then, even though the tension was obvious for anyone. The Winchester gripped his grocery plastic bag harder, offering him a sarcastic smirk.

"Something like that." He reached the car door and pulled out his keys. The familiar red flannel, your meeting with him-- it was so obvious it was basically written all over his face, and sadly, Dean could read it well. Fuck, he wanted to drop his purchases and punch that smile off Thomas’ face. That man probably had more of what was once his. “Gotta go. See you around.”

Sliding in the car to leave this conversation before his treacherous mind could reach more detestable conclusions, Cavill answered, "If you need help, give me a call.''

Dean mumbled something but didn't care enough to give him anything beyond a nod while the Impala finally drove away from Thomas.

At that moment, he wished a bit harder that Ellen was still alive or that another bar like hers existed. The hunters’ bar was full of people who understood that death was a part of the job. Somewhere he could swallow barrels of alcohol, play darts and tell bloody stories about his world-- about the quintessential things he did to get despair out of his system to the point that he felt comfortable on his own skin again.

So, that was it? You didn't just leave him and Sam, but you also accused him with all certainty you had of being a cold killer, and then you slept with the first man who showed up? Who was also a fucking hunter? Why the fuck didn't you tell him how you felt sooner? He wasn't an angel-- he would be even more of an arrogant asshole than he already was if that was the case, but you knew it all along. He didn't deserve anything good in his life. He should've seen it coming.

Dean pursed his lips, deciding for another ride to a normal bar. Home and all the beautiful, tragic ghosts inside could haunt him later.

It didn't take him long to park near an establishment. For once, he noticed the strong grip he held on the steering wheel, knuckles strained whiter than usual. He let out a tired sigh, glaring at the entrance of the place before grabbing his phone.

No calls from you. No text messages from you. Just the feeling of being a thirteen-year-old boy again, just like when he was waiting for Mary to send him a sign that she was all right.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Dean put it back in his pocket and made his way to the bar. No 'welcome' board light was shining yet, and he doubts anyone but he and the owner would be there. Once he got in, two guys were sitting in a table far away, and a girl was entering the bathroom. The bartender stood behind the bar, watching some game on the small television the place provided.

"Whiskey. No ice." His words came out harsher than he expected. The guy didn't seem to notice or care, simply nodding his head and turning around go get his client's order. One more time, Dean took his phone and stared at it. There was nothing but a text from Sammy that he quickly replied to, frowning in disappointment. It was rare for you to be the first one to break after a fight, but that was more than a stupid argument. You had left. You had fucking left. And he was the only one to blame.

Such a miserable routine kept its course. Dean would drink, check his phone, and hurt himself with his own thoughts. The night came with lurking shadows, and he couldn't care less. It seemed like the ghosts had replaced the bunker for his company. He didn't want to believe you would come back because hoping and being destroyed again was too much to bear with right now. Dean couldn't even breathe properly at the thought that he would never, ever see touch you, tease you, or be with you again. You had him wrapped around your finger since the very first day until you cut your hand off and left him. You left. How could you have left? But then, how could you had stayed if you had it all in your mind before?

Someone sat beside him. Still, it didn't catch the Winchester's attention until he heard her voice. For a flash of a second, he thought it was you. Dean looked up instantly, only to find himself incredulous.

The woman in front of him looked so much like you. She could easily be mistaken for your sister. Hair, eyes, voice. Everything but the lips were so similar. The unknown girl kept her gaze on Dean despite his strange reaction to her. Repeating her former words, she asked, "What are you drinking? Seems good."

Yeah, she wasn't (Y/N). You could tell what he was drinking from miles away, just because you knew exactly what he enjoyed. In addition, you’d seen his preferences so much that you’d memorized it all without even trying.

She looked like you, though. A lot. The earlier jealousy mixed with a dangerous quantity of alcohol and anguish made his decision. Move on, just like he told Sam. You didn't call him. You weren't coming back. That was your choice. He had to shut up the little hopes in his mind.

Putting up his best sultry smirk, Dean pushed the glass on the table towards her as he answered: "You tell me."

Two hours later, he was tilting his head to the side, watching the woman in his sheets peacefully taking a nap after a long run. Her hand covered most of her face, pillow carpeted with her messy hair.

"Wake up, (Y--)" Dean restrained himself from finishing that sentence. He almost said your name. It was hard enough to keep the woman's name, which he had forgotten by now, on his tongue during sex-- he wasn't going to give in at the end of it. Clearing his throat, the hunter started waking her up again. He needed to go.

In any other point of his life, he would've considered that night a success. A hot girl was sleeping beside him after he had a great amount of old whiskey. Sammy sent a text about a new case, and he had pie waiting for him in the car. At any other moment, that would be enough to put him in a good mood all day. In any other age, that would be considered a good day. No one died, he had sex and food and was about to hunt a thing and blow whatever it was up.

But you hadn't called.

It was probably a good thing in a messed up way. It was tranquil. There was no arguing, no fighting, no hurting from either side. That kind of hurt was quite similar to being comfortable, in a tremendously distorted way that he didn't wish to feel, like not putting medicine on the wound and just allowing it to heal by itself-- yet, occasionally scratching it. The idea of a comfortable silence was so overrated. Dean would rather be screamed at by (Y/N) by now than whatever this option was.

The woman woke up and left a note with her phone as she abandoned the room. Crumbling the paper, he threw it away and touched his face. A deep breath was taken.

He had work to do.

Maybe one day you'll call me

and tell me that you’re sorry too 

But you never do

Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done? 

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on. 

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course). 

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth: 

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear. 

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection. 

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up. 

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably. 

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3 

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family. 

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing. 

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins. 

•••(Ａ ＢＴＳ Ｏｎｅ Ｓｈｏｔ Ｓｅｒｉｅｓ)•••

nσtє: thíѕ wσrk íѕ purєlч fíctíσnαl. thє fαctѕ ѕtαtєd hєrє mαч σr mαч nσt вє truє. plєαѕє dσ nσt tαkє σffєnѕє tσ ít. mαч cσntαín ѕlíght mєntíσnѕ σf dєαth αnd вlσσd. αlѕσ, wíll prσвαвlч єnd up вєíng ѕupєr lσng вut wσrth ít. чσu mαч prσcєєd.

Pairing: Werewolf Namjoon×Reader

ƤƛƦƬ ƬƜƠ: ƊЄƧƬƖƝЄƊ

(Kɪᴍ Nᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ-Wᴇʀᴇᴡᴏʟғ)

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ｏｎｅ

Ragged breathing and staggered footsteps. Blood stained clothes and the crunching of leaves. To say you were hurt and tired was an understatement. In all honesty, you were dying and you knew that. It had been hours since you were left alone in the dark forest as punishment for not being able to shoot a rabbit correctly. But how could you?

Wasn't it wrong to expect something like that from someone who loved the forest and all its inhabitants?

Nope, not in your house. Being the daughter of a rich man who was a member of the council, which was responsible for keeping the communities together, had its perks. But those perks meant nothing in comparison to the disadvantages that came with it. One of them being your inability to choose your life partner. That has to be the worst thing that a person could deal with. And before you knew it, you were already betrothed to Noah Silva, one of the officials who represented the humans at the council.

Noah was a kind man, or so you had thought until he told you one night that it was just a show. Your father was one of the six core members who sat on the council. Obviously, Noah wanted to be close to him and marrying you was just one way of doing that. He always behaved like a gentleman in front of your family but to you, he was a monster. A cold-hearted monster. If someone thought that werewolves were cold-hearted, they obviously hadn't met Noah. All the weeks since knowing your fiancé, you had tasted hell at it's finest. He had trapped you again and again just to let your father know that Noah was the only man who would ever be with you considering your irresponsible behaviour. One of those traps had made an unwanted appearance today when he left you in the forest all alone just because you couldn't shoot a rabbit with an arrow. Noah's whines and hissing while you cried and trembled further proved that he really didn't care. If anything, he enjoyed your suffering and it frightened you that you were meant to marry him in some months.

You yelped and fell against a tree, your clothed back rubbing against its rough bark. The dried tears on your cheeks made your face feel more grimy and dirty. You were sure that you had lost your way even after knowing the forest like the back of your hand. It was probably because of all the blood you were losing. You scowled at Noah, gritting your teeth at the memory of being thrown to the ground like trash when a pointed rock had cut through the skin on your upper arm. It was a rather deep wound and if you didn't find a way home then you would definitely bleed out. Or be eaten by the animals. Who knows.

The hopes that you had, of your father finding you had been lost hours ago, the realisation of Noah's nasty lies hitting you like a bullet. He probably told your father that you had run away or something. And knowing your father, he must be beyond angry at you. You sighed and looked up at the sky, relishing in the cool air that fanned your face.

Life was hard, that was a given. Even after being the perfect daughter, you didn't get any kind of love from your family. They all were just power hungry, neglecting you for whatever fortune was thrown their way. There had been times when you wanted to run away, leave behind the stupid family you had. Maybe you could have found someone who loved you for you.

You flinched suddenly as loud howls rang through the forest, your eyes darting to the moon which shone brightly in its entirety.

Full moon night.

Hunting night.

You widened your eyes and your throat ran dry. It was the hunting night for the werewolf community. Which meant you were definitely gonna die. It was a law that all humans were to stay in their houses during this night, and if any human failed to abide by the law then the werewolves were free to act however they see fit. Your worry was short-lived before it turned into full-fledged terror when you heard the sound of rustling from the bushes situated a few metres away from you. Sweat trickled down your forehead as you waited with bated breath, wanting nothing more than to run away. And there it was. Through the darkness and the shallow light of the moon falling on the bushes, emerged a beautiful brown wolf. Its eyes were almost golden, its fur shining and making you think about how smooth it must be. Even though it looked magnificent, you shivered on seeing the bared teeth, snarling at you as if it were ready to pounce. You whimpered and pushed yourself further up against the bark of the tree, slowly shaking your head and hoping that it would leave you alone.Just for a second, it seemed as though the wolf had heard your pleas, its eyes softening enough to make you think that maybe you weren't dying tonight. But it went away just as it came, a loud growl erupting from its throat before it pounced on you. You let out a loud scream and covered your face, not wanting to face your fate. If this is what dying felt like, then you certainly didn't mind cause there was absolutely no pain. It felt as if you hadn't even been touch-

Slowly taking away your hand from your face, you peered at the wolf whose face was now inches away from yours. Its eyes glaring at you with such intensity that you wanted to faint. As if on cue, your head began spinning and your vision became blurry. You stiffened as the werewolf sniffed your wound, your eyes fighting to stay open. If you were really passing out then maybe it was a good thing. The werewolf could eat you up without making you suffer, not like you wanted to live anyway. You found all your energy being drained away, your body falling limp and your eyes drooping slowly but you could still see the werewolf. You could still see its eyes widen. You could still see how sad it looked and you wondered why. If anything, you should have been dead by now. After all, you had broken the law and the werewolf could do whatever it wanted to do. As you closed your eyes and succumbed to the darkness, the last thing you heard was a whisper of your name. "Y/N....." ___________________________________________ You woke up to the feeling of someone touching your arm. You simply hummed and thought it was one of the maidens that worked in your house until a sharp pain shot through your arm. You jolted up with your eyes wide, gasping for air when you continued to feel the stinging in your arm.

"I knew it was too strong for a human."

A soft voice made you look to the side where a young woman sat, wearing a pair of thick rimmed glasses with a jar in one hand. You frowned and tilted your head, your eyes battling between the jar and her face until the realisation dawned on you. With wide eyes you glanced around the room, taking in a sharp breath on seeing all the unfamiliar colours and furnitures.

"Wh-where am I?" You asked, wincing at how dry your throat felt. The young woman grabbed a glass from the side table and handed it to you, noticing your hesitation on seeing the greenish liquid.

"It'll make you feel better, I promise." She smiled, making you nod. The genuineness in her eyes made it easier for you to believe her so you took the glass from her and brought it to your lips, your eyes fixed on her form.

As soon as the liquid touched your tongue, your eyes screwed shut and you spat it out, a number of coughs following after. "Guess that's not for humans either...." You heard her say as she grabbed the glass from you. What did that even mean? You continued to cough, gagging occasionally to get rid of the rotten taste left behind in your mouth. Eventually, a glass of water was handed to you and you gladly accepted it, gulping down everything all at once. With a sigh, you closed your eyes and rested your back on the headboard, feeling someone take the empty glass from you. Assuming that it was the same young lady, you opened your eyes and proceeded to say thank you until your eyes met his.

Kim Namjoon.

The alpha.

Fear struck you at lightning speed, your brain screaming at you to run away. But you didn't. You couldn't. It was as if his eyes were pinning you down. If anything, you felt smaller under his gaze. "Isla, I told you she's a human. What were you thinking?" He said in a stern voice, his eyes moving away from you. You let out a huge sigh of relief, internally, of course. You peered at the woman, feeling a little bad that she was probably never gonna hear the end of it but she did make you suffer.

"I have never treated a human. Can't really blame me, Joon." She replied, rolling her eyes while yours widened. Why was she talking to him like that?

You were always told that Kim Namjoon was sadistic and that he was beyond selfish. Whatever fit his needs had to be done, no matter the consequences that others might have to face. He was good looking, of course but you knew looks could be deceiving. You had experienced it all with Noah.

"I'll change her bandages, you can go."

You snapped out of your thoughts when you heard his voice, swallowing thickly when 'Isla' left you alone with him. Your heart started beating faster as he came and sat on the chair beside the bed, inspecting all the medicines and ointments that were laid out in front of him. You eyed his every move, preparing yourself to make a run for it in case he showed repulsive behaviour. "If I was gonna kill you, I would have done that when I saw you in the forest yesterday." He stated, as if reading your thoughts. Your eyes widened and you stared at him in amusement. Could werewolves read minds too?

"Ho-how do you know what I was thinking?" You asked, your voice laced with astonishment. Namjoon chuckled, shaking his head as he continued to look through all the medications. "Your expression, doll. It looks as if you've just been told about your execution." You almost blushed at his sentence, surprised at his use of the nickname. Nobody had ever called you that, or let alone any nickname. You took your time to take in Namjoon's appearance, coming to the conclusion that he looked like a God. A God who was supposedly bad. Whilst you were so busy checking him out, you failed to notice how he was already changing your bandage. A sudden sting to your wound made you hiss and you pulled your hand back. But Namjoon's grip on your forearm stopped you, his eyes shooting up to meet yours.

"It'll be over before you know it..." He said, his voice as gentle as a feather. You hesitantly gave up and let him treat your wound, occasionally hissing and flinching as he wrapped a new bandage around it.

It was strange but you certainly felt it. Just for a moment, it seemed as though your heart fluttered. As though you felt a spark when Kim Namjoon touched you. You knew it was different because you never felt this way with Noah.

Was it just gratefulness for a person who saved you?

Or was it your heart's way of saying that Noah is a mistake? You'll never know.

Namjoon stood up and proceeded towards leaving the room when you stopped him.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

Namjoon halted abruptly, not expecting this question at all. He swiftly turned on his heel to see a questioning frown on your face.

"Would you have preferred it that way?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

You glanced at your hands, scoffing at the irony. This was where you were supposed to shake your head vigorously and say that you were thankful for not being killed. But you couldn't bring yourself to do any of that. It made you beyond upset to think about your pathetic life. A life that you didn't have any control over.

"I guess that would have been better." You mumbled, quickly wiping away a tear that had escaped your eye.

Namjoon saw it. He saw the helpless look on your face. You looked defeated and it pained him to see you like that. You didn't deserve this. A girl of your status should be happy and boastful. But you seemed to be the complete opposite. Sad and quiet. Namjoon quickly walked back to you, sitting on the chair where he was sitting just a minute ago.

"Why were you out there on hunting night, Y/N?" He asked, determined to know why you were there. Your breath hitched on hearing his words, not knowing if you should tell him about your problems or not. Because obviously you will have to go back home, and if your father found out what you had done, then it was gonna be the end for you.

"I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about. I'm just as powerful as your father, you know." Namjoon answered, leaning closer to you. You knew he was right. Namjoon was also one of the six core members of the council. He represented all the werewolves and he was also the ultimate alpha. So he was actually a little more powerful than your father.

"I was left there as a p-punishment." You stated, clutching the sheets tightly. Namjoon raised his eyebrows, nodding at you to continue. You took a deep breath and decided to just let it all out.

"I failed to do something that my fiance wanted me to do so he left me there all alone. As punishment." You confessed, feeling all your anger piling up. You felt embarrassed for not being able to take a stand for yourself but in a society that didn't quite look at women as equals, it was hard for you to do anything.

Meanwhile, Namjoon thought this was absurd. No man had the right to treat any woman like that. And more over, you were his fiancee. He was supposed to treat you like a goddess.

"And who is this fiancé?" He asked, gritting his teeth but you didn't notice.

"Noah Silva." You mumbled.

Within seconds, Namjoon found himself fuming with anger. Noah Silva was a pathetic man. Namjoon knew him all too well. He had no respect for anyone and said whatever came to his mind. It was honestly a blessing that Noah wasn't one of the six core members. Cause if that happened, then the whole country would be a mess. There would be no sense of peace between the witches, the werewolves and the humans. It would be a chaos. Without a word, Namjoon stood up and left the room, leaving you confused. Maybe he thought you deserved it. Maybe he was exactly the Kim Namjoon that everyone thought him to be. It would be a while till you found out. ___________________________________________ You sighed and smoothed your dress, feeling good now that you were all cleaned up. Surprisingly, the dress fit you perfectly. As if it was made for you. It was dark green and reached your ankle. It was the type of dress that you had seen the richer people wearing. Of course, Kim Namjoon was rich. He had been on the council for a long time, unlike your father who acquired his position only a couple years ago. You wandered around the big mansion and adored the corridors, gaping at the beautiful walls. Your house was big too, but not as big as Namjoon's. You were trying to find your way to the dining room since Namjoon had asked you to join him for dinner.

The thought of seeing him again made you a little anxious but it also made you excited. Yes, it was a little weird when he just stormed out of your room after you told him who your fiancé was. Maybe they were sworn enemies? Well, too bad for you.

After a few more minutes, you managed to find the dining room, happily skipping towards the long table. You saw Namjoon seated at one end and slowly walked towards him, smiling at him when he saw you. You sat on the chair beside him, clearing your throat and mentally yelling at your heart to calm down.

"The dress suits you." Namjoon complimented, noticing the way your eyes widened momentarily. It was an adorable sight, he thought. You glanced down in your lap, hiding the blush that was creeping across your cheeks.

"Thank you." You mumbled, biting your lip harshly. This wasn't something you were used to. Nobody had ever complimented you in your entire life, no matter how hard you tried. Your family didn't even give you a second glance, let alone Noah. Truth be told, you felt good being in Namjoon's company. He made you feel like a woman, not a slave. Soon the food was served and you ate it all at a very impressive pace. Obviously, you were hungry.

"I forgot to ask, how long was I unconscious?" You asked, taking in the last bite. Namjoon looked up from his plate and narrowed his eyes, contemplating whether he should say it or not. But it had to be said.

"Four days."

You choked on your food and Namjoon quickly handed you a glass of water, rubbing your back soothingly. Once you had gulped it all down, Namjoon shook his head. "You okay?" He questioned, giving you concerned looks. You nodded slowly, getting lost in your own thoughts. It had been four days and no one had come looking for you? Wow, they really didn't care, did they?

"No one came looking for me?" You asked, praying for Namjoon to tell you that you were wrong but the guilty look in his eyes told you everything. You chuckled bitterly to yourself. Tragedy was the only way to describe your life.

Noticing how your mood changed, Namjoon decided to do something. He wasn't just gonna sit and watch you sulk around. He was the one who had to take care of you anyway.

"Come with me."

You looked up at Namjoon to find him leaving the dining room already. Hurriedly, you got out of your seat and followed him, wondering where he was taking you. You walked behind him, observing your surroundings curiously. You stepped out of his mansion, making your curiosity grow bigger and bigger.

"Where...."

Before you could complete your sentence, there it was. A small lake in the middle of a bunch of trees with flowers floating across it's surface. You gasped at the sight, marvelling at how the moonlight only made it prettier.

"No one knows about this place. It's like my personal....haven." Namjoon said, sitting on the grass surrounding the lake. You took a minute to admire the scenery, closing your eyes and feeling the cool air on your skin.

"It is stunning." You replied, smiling at the moon shining on you in all it's glory. Four days ago, this sight would have scared you but now, you felt so peaceful. Namjoon smiled slightly, taking pride in how happy you looked. Of course this was stunning. But for him, you were more stunning. For four days, you were the one who brought him a sense of calmness. Your face and the fact that you were alive kept him going. You were important to him. Too important.

"Do you believe in destiny, Y/N?" You turned your head to look at Namjoon, his eyes fixed on you. You clasped your hands behind you and moved closer to where he sat before sitting beside him. You pulled your knees up to your chest and hummed.

"I do. If it's meant to happen, it will happen." You answered, gazing at the night sky. Namjoon nodded, looking up at the stars.

"Do you know that my kind can know if someone's meant to be with us?" He asked again, making you frown in confusion. "As in, soulmates?" You raised an eyebrow as he nodded. You looked surprised before a smile graced your lips. "Have you found your mate?" You asked, getting excited at the thought. How interesting. Only if humans could know that too.

"I did. Four days ago." Namjoon answered, watching you intently. He didn't mean to break the news to you all of a sudden but he couldn't help himself. You were just so nice. He couldn't let you go back to your stupid fiance who didn't know how to take care of you.

You stared at him in confusion before it struck you.

Four days ago.

You met him.

"Are you serious?"

Namjoon couldn't judge from your expression if you liked this news or not. He couldn't tell how you felt. You just looked....lost?

"You can reject me if you want." He said, hoping that you don't listen to him. He already felt a strong bond with you. But obviously, it wasn't necessary that you felt it too. You could reject him and he would continue his life thinking about how his mate didn't want him.

"You won't hurt me like Noah, would you?" You asked, gazing at him with glossy eyes. The thought of being loved was making you feel overwhelmed. You knew Namjoon wasn't a bad person. He was better than your entire family. Why else would he have saved you and looked after you for four days? That was a long time, given the fact that lately the ties between the humans and the werewolves weren't as good as before. You somehow knew that Namjoon wasn't gonna hurt you. The spark you had felt earlier was a sign too. He was telling you nothing but the truth.

"Never." He answered and caressed your cheek, looking into your eyes as if they held all the stars. You felt beautiful in that moment. He made you feel beautiful.

"There's a ball tomorrow. It's a tradition and it's held every year. If you come, I'll know your answer. But if you don't...." Namjoon trailed off, looking away with sad eyes. He stood up and headed back into the mansion, leaving you to think this through. It had been only one day since you started talking to him. But you knew he was good. And if he really wanted to hurt you, he would have done it already. You sighed and closed your eyes. What should you do? Give him a chance? Or just go on living your terrible life?

Another billion years passed and I posted. It was too long so I split it into two chapters...I mean have you heard of people complaining about fic chapters being too long? So you gotta wait for a few days until I put the chapter two out. Comment if you wanna be added to the tag list!

(P.S Part 2 has been posted)

-XX

Taglist: @min-t-posts @vannilacake @andestea @bangtann-boys

An old headcanon of mine was that during the experiments Xehanort gave both Isa and Lea Keyblade inheritance ceremonies. To explain Lea's Keyblade and Isa's when he inevitably got one. I figured that if he was intending to turn them into vessels being able to wield would make them more useful in the clash. But for some reason in KH3 the Darknesses didn't have to be wielders but the Lights did.

When King Mickey stopped time, Young Xehanort began to move. Since he can control time, was he breaking the King’s spell?

Young Xehanort wasn’t using his own power at that time. The King’s magic was broken because Master Xehanort was assimilating with Young Xehanort. Only “Recusant Sigil” was added by Organization XIII.

It was when the figures started appearing in the thrones.

Indeed. Time was stopped just as Master Xehanort was materializing. So he moved his consciousness to Young Xehanort’s body. Reacting to this, King Mickey exclaimed, “Oh no. Are you…” Young Xehanort was holding a Keyblade that he originally wasn’t able to handle thanks to Master Xehanort’s power. Though the keychain on it is different, the Keyblade he takes out is Master Xehanort’s.

I see. Young Xehanort himself is still on the Destiny Islands and isn’t able to wield a Keyblade yet.

Right. Even when he appeared as an additional boss in Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep Final Mix, he wasn’t using a Keyblade.

Ya know, you raise a good point. But I’m not sure Xehanort would have even needed to perform an inheritance ceremony on his vessels. I think they automatically gain the ability to wield once they share a heart and consciousness with him. Young Xehanort could wield when Master Xehanort transferred his consciousness into him, even when he couldn’t have ordinarily.

But yeah, I had always figured that if you had a strong enough heart to be one of the Seekers of Darkness, you must have a strong enough heart to wield a Keyblade. I think all members of the New Organization XIII had the potential to wield, which is why they were able to be turned into vessels in the first place. (I’m not counting the reserve members who were only there for plot convenience). After all, Nomura said that only a strong heart is necessary, not whether it’s a good or bad heart. I think Isa definitely had the potential if he really was Subject X originally. The whole idea was that they were the sole subject who didn’t collapse.

Xigbar: Figures. If I had a Keyblade, it’d be different.

Sora: Like you’re actually worthy to use one.

Xigbar: Oh, I am worthy.

Sora: Whaddaya mean?

Xigbar: The old coot promised to bequeath me his. Why else do you think I would ever put up with all his nonsense?

Riku: It’d be wasted on you.

Xigbar: As if.

Larxene and Marluxia actually are Keybade wielders from the ancient past (though I personally doubt that was always their backstory). They had something that made them special to Xehanort, along with Luxord. I don’t think Xigbar’s words after he was defeated were originally supposed to have anything to do with Luxu. I think Braig truly knew that he had the potential.

Xigbar: All this altruism is giving me the warm and fuzzies. So the, does having a heart of light come with an extremely good insurance policy?

Sora: Just say what you mean.

Xigbar: Oh, but I did though. No good will ever come from putting other people first.

Herc: I was able to save Meg’s life because I was ready to risk my own.

Xibar: Because you’ve got friends in high places, you mean. Tricks like that don’t fly for your average joe.

Sora: What do you know? You weren’t even there! If you were, you’d admire Herc’s courage.

Xigbar: I don’t admire one guy leaping into danger if it means someone else might have to jump in to save him. You’re all just lining up to lose out. Dooming others to take the fall with ya. Oh, and you can spare me the usual party line. Yes, hearts are powerful when they’re connected. But if you put to much of that power in one place, some of those hearts might end up breaking. Still, Sora, that doesn’t mean you should change. Accept the power you’re given. Find the hearts joined to yours.

It’s the only reason why Braig even stuck around Xehanort, before he got retconned into Luxu. He just needed someone to perform the inheritance rite on him. That’s what his original deal with Xehanort was all about. I think Braig had a strong heart. He was able to retain a sense of self, even as a vessel.

I wonder if he was talking about T/A/V here. I think there was an important reason that Xigbar saw Xion’s face as Ventus. He is connected to Sora, has a heart of light, and is one of the hearts joined to Sora’s. Also after Olympus, Ven’s heart is stirred to save Aqua. She sacrificed herself for Terra.

Sora: I know the Keyblade didn’t choose me, and I don’t care. I’m proud to be a small part of something bigger–the people it did choose. My friends. They are my power!

Xigbar: Those are just words. You’ve lost. Fine. See where your power gets you here. Xemnas! He’s all yours.

Maybe that’s why Xigbar was so rattled by what Sora said here. Braig kinda sold his soul to the devil for power. But Sora was able to gain the ability to wield without having the inheritance ceremony performed on him. It made him feel like he took the dark path for nothing. I think Braig struggled the entire time with feelings of guilt over what he did. Terra, Aqua, and Ven were the first people he actually harmed. So, it makes sense he’d be haunted by Ven’s death glare and kill himself in the end.

Xemnas: However–through weakness of body…weakness of will…or weakness of trust–most of the original members we had chosen for the Organization were inadequate. Thus, naturally, they never had a chance to attain their goal. Yet, even this was to be expected.

Axel didn’t seem to be desirable as a vessel for whatever reason. He wasn’t retrieved like Isa and the others were. It just seemed like Xehanort never took a particular interest in him that way, like he did with Isa. Maybe Demyx, Xaldin, Zexion, Vexen, and Lexaeus didn’t have strong enough hearts in Xemnas’ view. I think Axel was a different case, though. He wasn’t defeated by Sora. He sacrificed himself for Sora. That puts him in a unique position regarding how Xemnas viewed him. And I think Xemnas always viewed Axel differently from the others. Lea had a very strong heart and was very strong mentally. I think Xemnas must have known that. Despite his lack of trust, he was kept around, unlike all the other traitors.

Xemnas: A heart is never lost for good. There may have been variances in our dispositions, but a number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement. Once born, the heart can also be nurtured. Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self. But understand, one can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes. And so I knew, even after we were divided into Heartless and Nobodies, it was just a temporary separation.

Xemnas was obviously talking about Axel here. He would definitely be the one that would first come to mind with the burgeoning replacement. I think Axel’s arc was entirely based on this idea. He lost his heart, and his relationship with Roxas and Xion was literally filling a huge void. So, Xemnas knew that Axel had a heart and maybe this is why he wasn’t ideal vessel material. He was too strong-willed and had too much sense of self. Vexen, too. I think he had a burgeoning replacement heart. I think Vexen was trying to help Sora before he was eliminated. Being in Castle Oblivion probably brought back memories for him, too. Like how when he was a human he cared about Ienzo more than anything. He felt remorse and tried to warn Sora. But in any case there’s a lot of evidence that Xemnas was fully aware that Axel had a heart.

Saïx: I passed on the message as you so desired. I told the young Sora to keep defeating the Heartless.

Xemnas: Good. Not only have you the power to inflict pain, you also have the power to plant seeds of doubt in one’s receptive heart. Sora will soon begin to doubt himself. It will cause him to hesitate and that hesitation will turn to anger. That anger will fuel him to get rid of his apprehension and move forward. He will pave the way for the future we desire.

Saïx: There’s something I’ve meant to ask.

Xemnas: About Axel? The poor fool. How long will he keep chasing the illusion of friendship, when he himself lacks emotion? Trying so hard to retrieve what he has lost, when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity.

This is a conversation solely between Xemnas and Saïx that was added in KH2FM+. No one else is present. And Xemnas has his hood up, which is kind of a cue for hidden meanings. Not to mention, what purpose did this scene serve if its only meaning was to show that Xemnas thinks Axel is a fool? That’s kind of obvious and doesn’t need its own new scene. Saïx lowered his head when Xemnas said he has the power to plant seeds of doubt in one’s receptive heart. I think Isa’s heart was reacting more now that Axel was gone.

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something.

Another reason I think this scene was about Axel’s relationship with Isa is because Axel was trying to chase an illusion of friendship with him. He was trying so hard to retrieve what he lost, though it never existed in the first place. Saïx is not Isa. Then Roxas and Xion showed up. Even without a heart and emotion (at the time), Axel still longed for friendship. And he chased Roxas so hard after he left because he filled the void of what he lost.

Xaldin: To hold something dear is to let it hold you. His heart is in thrall to it, don’t you see? And that, Roxas, is ample weakness.

Roxas: I’m not sure I follow.

Xaldin: Nor should you. You have no heart to love with. Come. We return.

Xemnas knew that Axel was a great candidate to regrow a heart. And his memories of the past were what he held most dear. I think Xemnas knew what would happen if he was sent to Castle Oblivion. It would awaken his sleeping memories, and nurture his heart. Then he could be used to find Ventus.

Axel: You’re sure things are better this way?

Saïx: I never expected you to question it. If you could save one of them…why would you choose the puppet? Or put it this way. Which would you rather suffer the loss of: some make-believe friendship, or a real one? Things are finally right again. Of course we’re better off this way. Xemnas is exasperated from all the “fixing” we’ve had to do. We have to set things right. There is simply too much on the line…Lea.

My theory is that Xemnas instructed Saïx to have that conversation with Axel.

Axel: But how do you know that? Everybody thinks they’re right…

Xion: This is right.

Axel: They’re gonna destroy you!

Xion: Please don’t hold back, Axel. Promise.

Axel: What’s your problem? You both…think you can do whatever you want. Well, I’m sick of it. Go on, you just keep running. But I’ll always be there to bring you back!

Xemnas was using Axel’s feelings for his own ends. He really was a pawn. Xemnas wanted Xion back because she was preventing Sora from waking up. He really needed her at that point. Saïx knew this. Xemnas knew Axel was already filled with doubt. If Saïx made him doubt even more, then that hesitation would turn to anger. And then he’d be more likely than ever to bring Xion back if she leaves again. It was the same reverse psychology Saïx used on Sora.

Saïx said things are finally right again. And Axel was angry about how everyone thinks they’re right. So, the plan did work. Xemnas was using Axel’s memories of the past and of Isa as a tool to manipulate him. To make him bring Xion back. His desire for friendship played right into Xemnas’ hands. I think Xemnas knew that Axel’s longing for friendship made him far more able to nurture a heart than most others.

Axel waited.

In the shadows of the spaces between, he waited for Sora… For Roxas.

“Traitor,” Saïx had called him. But his betrayal of Organization XIII wasn’t exactly a recent development, Axel thought with a bitter laugh.

Marluxia and Larxene conspired to steal Sora’s memories, trying to take possession of him. No one could predict what Roxas would become, the Nobody created in such an unusual manner, born in the moment when his somebody Sora became something that was not Sora. Well, no—it was possible that Xemnas had some idea. Perhaps Vexen when he tried to tell Sora about Twilight Town and those close to him. Or all six original members of the organization.

The organization could hardly be called that anyway—this ragtag bunch of Nobodies united only by their desire for hearts. It was only natural that conflicts would arise between the newcomers like Marluxia and the six founding members, what with all the quarrels among the half of them posted in Castle Oblivion.

Axel had only acted to keep Sora alive—to keep Roxas alive. But thinking back on it now, maybe all he’d done was to play right into Xemnas’s hands. Agony racked his body. Saïx had dealt him a mortal blow, or close enough.

“Hurry up, Sora…,” he muttered, lifting his face to the nonexistent sky.

Before he died in KH2, Axel suspected that he played into Xemnas’ hands. Xemnas knew that Marluxia and Larxene were traitors. He didn’t want Marluxia and Larxene to gain control of Sora. And neither did Vexen. Xemnas sent Axel to Castle Oblivion as the only person to handle the situation. He apparently knew that since Axel was growing so close to Roxas, he’d side with Sora.

Xemnas: It is clear that through his actions, however foolish they may have been, Axel has touched Sora’s heart. Perhaps HE will soon awaken.

Xemnas even thought that Axel had the power to wake Ventus. Axel faced his demise by trying to help Sora save Kairi. And Xemnas admits that touched Sora’s heart.  I also think Axel’s demise in KH2 was foreshadowing the final battle as well.

“Listen, Kairi! Trust me. I’m going to get you out!”

Behind him, the portal closed.

“What are you saying…? Vile traitor!” The great Claymore took shape at Saïx’s back.

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

I don’t think Sora or Xion were supposed to be there originally. Just Lea, Kairi, and Saïx. Even in KH2, Axel would rather disappear than kill his friend. I think the same would have been true in the final battle. Lea would have preferred death over actually killing Isa. He just wanted to save Kairi. Not that he actually could defeat him, though.

Axel let out a deep breath and leaped into the air as flames erupted around them.“…Pathetic!” The Claymore moved to block Axel’s strike, while Saïx himself didn’t even twitch.

This is a pretty overwhelming disadvantage, Axel thought. Well, I knew that before we started fighting. I can’t win against Saïx with my own strength.

Still, he refused to hesitate. He had to force this path open.

He wanted…to find hope—the hope that Sora and Riku had.

Saïx gave him a cruel grin. “You will lose everything!”

And then the Claymore pierced Axel’s chest.

Axel wanted to see Roxas again, but he felt bad about hurting Sora and Kairi. Saïx mortally wounded him while he was trying to save Kairi, and he used the last of his life to atone for what he did. He apologized to Sora for kidnapping her, then died. But he died with sadness and regret. Roxas went back to Sora and he was all alone.

I think it was similar with Lea and Isa’s final battle. Lea and Kairi wanted to rescue Isa, but they were outmatched by Saïx, especially in his Berserk state. I think they were both at their limit and there was nothing they thought they could do to win. Kairi was down. Lea was prepared to die in that moment, protecting Kairi, since things were already hopeless anyway. He didn’t even try to defend himself. He would have died with sadness and regret, just like he did in KH2. But just as soon as the Claymore would have pierced Lea’s chest yet again…Isa stopped. It would have been a victory for Lea’s heart and he would have been extremely happy. But then Xemnas shows up. And Lea is definitely no match for him.

Xigbar: The house is looking pretty empty, huh? I thought I’d get a little enjoyment watching Axel throw one last tantrum, but he went a lot quieter than I thought.

Luxord: Perhaps he was ready for it. Perhaps he put his existence on the line and won what he’d been longing for.

Xigbar: Wait a minute. How would that even be possible? We don’t exist, remember? What you’re saying goes against the laws of nature.

Luxord: Then perhaps he bet his NON-existence. Either way, he came out a winner. Oh, Axel. A grifter to the end.

Saïx: That’s absurd. He won nothing and is nothing. He couldn’t stand the emptiness of being without a heart, and that led to his demise. He was foolish and weak.

Xemnas: But…Weakness has the power to awaken that which is dormant.

But Lea acted differently when Xemnas launched his assault compared to earlier with Isa. Lea was prepared to go more quietly. He looked Isa in the eyes as when he was about to strike. But with Xemnas, he closed his eyes and had his head down. He was just as resigned to his fate in this scene, as he was at the end of KH2. He knew the odds were against him, but took a gamble and came to the battle anyway. He knew he wasn’t a Keyblade master and had little chance of beating Isa in a battle of strength. 

And he definitely didn’t have the strength to defeat Xemnas. But he had proof that Isa’s heart remembered him, and still cared for him. He put his existence on the line and won what he had been longing for. He came out a winner, and was ready for the end. He was foolish and weak. But his weakness had the power to awaken that which was dormant. Though Xemnas wasn’t anticipating it that time, obviously. For that scene, I think Isa’s heart being awakened made more sense and was foreshadowed FAR more than anything else.

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [Twix sees Janis and runs to her excitedly so he's just standing around awkwardly acting like what his little brother is saying/doing is the most interesting thing ever] Janis: [Hasn't noticed them 'cos running mode, until Twix nearly trips her up and she's like oh my fucking God, gives her begrudging love for as long as she can before she clearly has to like drag her back and then she tries to go but Twix follows so she's just stood there like well] Jimmy: keep her Jimmy: 💕 Janis: would but Janis: reckon the kids might miss her a bit Jimmy: does he look bothered? Jimmy: [Bobby isn't lol] Janis: miss her when she's gone Janis: [throws a stick for Twix so she's got something to do] Jimmy: used to that though Jimmy: [realises what he's said and is like awks but can't smoke in front of his brother so is just hands in pockets like WELL] Janis: [gives Bobby a sad kinda look but apart from that tactfully ignores, though does a lowkey doubletake when she sneaks a glance at Jim too] Janis: How's Ian? Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: obviously Jimmy: [but like touches his face without realising he's doing it & okay I'm giving him a fat lip so if they kiss again cos I'm evil] Janis: [looks away so she can bites her lip really hard 'cos deserves it] Janis: never disappoints Jimmy: I'll tell him you miss him Jimmy: [puts Bobby on a swing so he can push him & have something to do but is also a bit further away from her] Janis: please do Janis: unrequited is easier, so I've heard Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can't fuck that up, already hates me, see the appeal Janis: [goes and sits down on a bench slightly further away too but still in sight and is still throwing the stick for Twix and teaching her tricks etc] Jimmy: I'd love to tell you you're special, girl but he hates a lot of women so Jimmy: different girlfriend same main course when the bruises heal Janis: what could be better Janis: ain't special so don't gimme expectations to not meet, init Janis: she's onto something with this one at least Jimmy: & how #goals for him that the only girl he really loves is his daughter Jimmy: don't need to tell the fans it's debatable Janis: 💕 Janis: what a man Janis: [shaking her head angrily which he may or may not see up to you] Jimmy: he ain't smacked her yet so must be real 💕 Jimmy: save it for the sweet 16 Ian Janis: girl when it counts, we can hope Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: fave when it counts Jimmy: least like his least fave ex is all it takes Janis: get it Janis: Elizabeth I to your Edward VI Jimmy: take your word for that 'cause I don't Jimmy: get it Janis: you were made king when you were 9 just 'cos you're a lad and then you die at 15 and Cass is still considered one of the best rulers we've had Janis: there's another sister in there but she burnt a lot of Protestants and I won't give Cass that rep, bit dangerous 'round here Jimmy: alright, nerd Jimmy: [is trying not to lol even though she far away] Janis: soz you had TB you sickly child 🤷 Jimmy: I get it, you want me dead Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: [Bobby has moved to a climbing frame moment so he moves far enough away that he can 🚬 but obvs still keep an eye] Janis: nah Janis: just saying, might not be the 🚬 and I'd like to know if you were contagious Jimmy: you'd know Jimmy: [gives her a low key saucy look] Janis: 😳 Janis: [is that emoji good thing he probably can't see] Jimmy: you having one or 🚭 now? Janis: you offering? Janis: or just letting me know you hate me enough to light it now Jimmy: what was the question if it weren't that Jimmy: [but shakes the pack at her like hello?! cos cheeky] Janis: and you can't train Twix because??? Janis: [hesitates but comes over] Jimmy: don't wanna Jimmy: [gives her his which bit rude cos he's already started it & lights a new one for his self] Janis: poor baby Janis: [shakes her head like okay boy but still takes it] Jimmy: 💔 all around Jimmy: what would you do if I took your job, rich girl Jimmy: be bored to 💀 Janis: be nice Janis: don't reckon you're gonna give me that out though so Janis: [shrugs] Jimmy: you want out? Jimmy: 🐶💔 Janis: nah, not what I meant Jimmy: then what? Janis: 💀 Janis: but not gonna take poor Twix for a long walk to Beachy Head, don't worry Jimmy: I didn't lure you over here to murder you, dickhead Jimmy: threat of cancer or nowt Janis: gutted Janis: 💔 all around, you're right Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I get it, not looking for that slow death Jimmy: me either Janis: something like that Janis: how quick is quick, do you reckon Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: 👻 chat Janis: You did promise me a demi moore moment Jimmy: did I? Janis: think so Janis: maybe you just meant you'd cheat on me 'cos you're young and hot and on mtv, idk Jimmy: you know what I meant & I better not break it & your 💔 then I suppose Jimmy: [another lowkey saucy look] Janis: yeah? Janis: [looks back] Jimmy: gotta 💀 first though Jimmy: hang on, I'll step in front of a bus, if our fave driver is on I can really spread the 💔 about Janis: nah, always less of a promise, more of a threat but Janis: [finger guns at his head but with feeling, bitch] Janis: heart* Jimmy: [Bobby chooses that moment to lowkey fall off the climbing thing & like not serious but he's a little soft boy so has to go back & give him love] Janis: [takes several moments, offers Bobby some of her sports drink 'cos kids that age love anything that ain't a fruitshoot or water so he's buzzing] Jimmy: [big brother mode is activated so it's just cute & soft] Janis: How's Cass anyway? Jimmy: decent Jimmy: she's weird enough to like school Jimmy: or the break from him anyway Jimmy: [nods at Bobby but also clearly means Ian like] Janis: Fair enough Janis: not just your Da I miss, like Jimmy: she's been asking after you Jimmy: so mutual Jimmy: be 💔 she weren't here Janis: or she's playing the long game and is gonna come in swingin' Jimmy: maybe Janis: again, fair Jimmy: I didn't tell her you fucked off and 💔 me so Jimmy: probably should Janis: could Janis: or Jimmy: ? Janis: or you could not and let us be 💕 Janis: selfish 'til the end, me Jimmy: I told you, you can keep the dog Jimmy: you ain't having my sister Janis: worth a shot? Jimmy: she is less like hardwork now she's got a mate Janis: 👍 nice Janis: glad someone is living their best life Jimmy: as long as he is just a mate and she ain't 😍 for the lad Janis: cynic Jimmy: it's your fault Jimmy: you were meant to be a romantic Jimmy: tweeted it & everything Janis: sorry Janis: that tweet was fake, though, in my defence Jimmy: so was the sext but it still turned you on Janis: piss off Janis: [😳 again] Jimmy: are you? Janis: am I what? Jimmy: sorry Janis: yes Janis: of course I am Janis: I was sorry before I even did it, was during, definitely am now Jimmy: alright Jimmy: then I won't tell her about our real break up Janis: you can Janis: can do what you like Janis: I just, idk Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: I want Janis: [is looking at him casually not breathing here like] Jimmy: [is looking at her like !!! cos we all know what he wants] Jimmy: I want it not to have happened Janis: I can't un do it but we could Janis: it's our story, we can tell it how we want Janis: you know I didn't leave because of you, didn't want to leave you Jimmy: how do you wanna tell it? Jimmy: what happened Janis: I'm like you, I don't care what any of them think but it was like this Janis: I said things to Grace that I can't take back but then she said some things about me, about you and me, and then did what she did and then I was really scared I would actually hurt her and I don't mean like a slap, I mean I was terrified I would, I genuinely HAD to leave and that killed me because I didn't want to do that to you because I knew what it would do, that it would Janis: I'm so sorry Jimmy but I don't want to be that person, I don't wanna be like your Dad, really Jimmy: [hugs her really tightly because damn she needs it & Bobby joins in with a leg hug even though he don't know why & Twix is being cute] Jimmy: You're not Jimmy: You're Janis: [try not to cry, bitch 'cos love she hasn't felt since when?] Janis: I said really disgusting things, how could I turn around and tell you, I didn't want you to think of me like you think of him, but I was and it was so, it's shit being a bad person and knowing it, just shit Jimmy: [is just stroking her hair & being comforting because it's okay babe] Jimmy: what do you always say, nowt is unfixable Jimmy: you ain't gone & neither is she Janis: I don't know, some shit runs too deep Jimmy: she loves you though, I heard her say it enough when she was pissed Jimmy: & she's looked like shit the whole time you were gone Jimmy: I know you reckon she always cries but Janis: [does casual little sob lol 'cos his tact always, so in love bye] Janis: she said she's done Jimmy: I told you to piss off too but Janis: but? Jimmy: [kisses her which ouch cos the lip but he don't care] Janis: [kisses him back 'cos forgets herself but touches it so gently after] Janis: I'm so sorry Jimmy: me too Jimmy: it weren't just you Jimmy: I got scared when you were leaving so I had to make you, alright Jimmy: but don't Janis: I really did try not to fuck you up with it but Janis: I know I still did Jimmy: I am fucked up, that ain't your fault Jimmy: was before Jimmy: I don't want it to ruin this, but sometimes Janis: me too Janis: x3 Jimmy: you know how important you are to me Jimmy: so let's just Janis: can we Jimmy: we have to Jimmy: I can't do this without you Jimmy: be here Jimmy: be this dickhead Janis: [kisses him but avoiding the split expertly this time] Janis: you know I still mean what I said, don't you Jimmy: If I believed you were a virgin I can believe that Janis: [actually lols and nudges him like oi] Jimmy: [joins the lol] Jimmy: everything's shit Jimmy: except you Jimmy: that's what I know Janis: it's a cheek to ask but Janis: stay Janis: please Jimmy: [kisses her again & lowkey forgets it'll hurt him again cos so much love sorry bout it] Janis: you gotta be careful, boy Jimmy: I just Janis: me too Jimmy: I thought about you every second Janis: I should've text you, I didn't know what to do for the best Janis: nothing would make it better, for real Jimmy: I did but I didn't send 'em Jimmy: I Jimmy: it's better that I didn't Janis: don't worry, I imagined all the things you could say Janis: it was worse punishment to get nothing Jimmy: it weren't like Jimmy: it was just more about me Jimmy: & we said we aren't going that far back, yeah Janis: we don't have to, we're doing whatever we want, that's all Jimmy: well right now I have to go to the shop 'cause I promised our kid some sweets Jimmy: but if you wanna come with me then Janis: someone'll have to watch Twix, yeah? Jimmy: she is very badly trained Jimmy: 💔 Janis: slander Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: [Bobby & Twix are in front being cute so they can also be cute cos HANDHOLDING bitches] Janis: I missed you so much Jimmy: [kisses her again cos same but is more careful this time at least] Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: I need Jimmy: more of this Janis: [nods like boy same] Janis: take it your house is a bit of a no-go for me though Jimmy: bit rude of me to ask but can we take these two to yours with us Jimmy: I know its overrun with cats but Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck he is or when he'll be back Janis: Yeah, 'course Janis: the cats will either run or give her a smack so she does but either way, it's cool Jimmy: I'll set Bob up with some drawing to do or whatever Jimmy: he'll be alright Janis: there's loads to do at mine, my sisters have got kids so there's toys and shit about, someone will keep an eye whilst we're Janis: busy Jimmy: It's bad that all I can think about is how much I want you, instead of worrying about him, isn't it? Jimmy: but Jimmy: I do Jimmy: want you so much Janis: nah, 'cos he's gonna be fine Janis: and Janis: I need that Janis: we both do Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it just feels like forever Janis: I know Janis: especially since you kissed me Jimmy: you didn't forget about me, did you? Jimmy: 'cause if I have to remind you of everything I will but Jimmy: we're gonna need time Janis: How could I? Janis: as much as I really don't wanna turn that offer down Jimmy: I don't know just Jimmy: other lads Janis: oh Janis: guess that would make sense, where and how I'd been staying away, yeah? Jimmy: I'm not like Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: we were broken up Janis: no, it's alright, fair assumption Janis: I didn't though Janis: just one lad who brought me home but I didn't sleep with him Jimmy: bit rude that you never asked but I didn't either Jimmy: no lads caught my eye Janis: know who your 💘 belongs to that's why Janis: should get the tat, very manly Jimmy: Obviously I drunk dialed Barry every night Jimmy: that's just Jimmy: what a man's gotta do Janis: [is loling] Janis: exactly Janis: who could blame you? not me Jimmy: nor my ex, she's well fuming with him basically every second so Jimmy: well rid Janis: you didn't get her on the line, did you Janis: not that I'm bothered but awkward Jimmy: only so I could teach her how to keep a man Janis: not 💔 at all, you savage Jimmy: she did message me for real the other day Jimmy: that was weird Janis: yeah? Janis: if she asked for hair she's probably not making a shrine, soz to burst your bubble, babe Jimmy: 😂 Janis: was it actually alright though, baby daddy drama aside Jimmy: she was Jimmy: her usual self Jimmy: that's all we need to say Janis: [does the ooh damn sound] Janis: can't wait 'til you start describing me like that Janis: 💀 Jimmy: you're not a mess Jimmy: & you didn't break up with me long enough ago to have a kid with someone else Janis: well Janis: to the best of my knowledge, nah Jimmy: if you're pregnant by that lad who gave you a lift I'm gonna be so mad Jimmy: just so you know Janis: 'less his spunk is dead hardy and survivng on those crusty sheets I had to sit on Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Jimmy: welcome back Janis: ikr Janis: was magical Jimmy: #goals everywhere you go babe Janis: hard job but someone's gotta do it Janis: no way was I letting my brother pick me up, crying and having van flashbacks alone Jimmy: reminds me, are you gonna tell me who it is so I can beat the shit out of him or do I have to guess? Jimmy: you could've asked me Jimmy: I've offered to steal a car for you before, remember Janis: thankfully your paths will never cross 'cos he's that massive dickhead I told you about, remember Janis: also assumed being partners in crime was slightly out the window at the time so Jimmy: [makes the 😒 face IRL same Jimothy cos that lad's a delight, trust] Janis: don't look at me like that, I know Janis: needs must Jimmy: but did you really need to Jimmy: with that Janis: yeah, I'd ran out of cash, believe it or not Janis: can't use your card if you're serious Jimmy: [is pouty] Janis: Babe Janis: your lips are big enough right now, that's frankly obscence Janis: I told you, I didn't fuck him Jimmy: It's not that Jimmy: just Janis: I just weren't ready to see any of them Janis: to ask any of them for anything, that just ain't how I do Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It just scares me Jimmy: thinking about you being gone Jimmy: what could've happened Janis: [squeezes his hand tight] Janis: I'm well hard, despite what you've claimed, rudely, in the past Jimmy: if you have to go, take me with you, alright Jimmy: next time Janis: okay Janis: promise Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [nods his head in the direction of the approaching shop] Jimmy: want owt? Janis: aw get us some 🍬 too please Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [gives her a really good kiss before he goes cos who knows how long Bobby will keep him in there choosing] Janis: [says 'love you' instinctively but it's quiet 'cos soft and as he's going in so he could pretend to not hear] Jimmy: it's a fucking 🐘🐅🐆🐫 in here Jimmy: that's zoo in case you were Jimmy: know you can't pick emojis to save your life Janis: not all creatives like you babe 🙄 Janis: gimme a break Jimmy: you're having one with your 🐶💕 Janis: yes please shh we're having a lovely time Jimmy: she's been such a tiny dickhead Jimmy: tah for not taking her with you Janis: was that not what I was meant to be teaching her? 🤔 Janis: whoops Jimmy: 🥇 already Jimmy: at that Janis: nah, never beat the master, thank you very much Jimmy: so supportive babe 💕 Jimmy: nah she won't Jimmy: I'm 💪 Janis: awks when I meant me Janis: this type of misunderstanding is why safe words were invented Jimmy: I know what you meant Jimmy: always do, me Janis: oh yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: don't hate the idea of you getting me Jimmy: don't hate the idea of having you Jimmy: right now I really don't Janis: fuck Jimmy: tie the dog somewhere & come kiss me again before I 💀💀💀 Janis: [does 'cos whipped and when it's what's what you want it's what you want] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I don't wanna stop Jimmy: can't actually Janis: you Janis: you've gotta Janis: might be a zoo but don't reckon they're down for that kinda 🙈 business Jimmy: just gimme Jimmy: a sec Jimmy: more Janis: [does oh lads] Jimmy: you feel so Jimmy: stop me Janis: but Janis: I don't wanna Jimmy: but actually walk out Jimmy: 'cause I want Jimmy: & I'll do it if you don't Janis: [has Twix losing her shit so she can 'cos 100% looking at him like challenge accepted, gurl no] Jimmy: please go Janis: [is gone] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: can anyone pick us up 'cause if it takes forever to get to your house I'll Janis: can but ask Janis: won't go with the selfie approach this time, you'll be glad to know Jimmy: I'd rather you asked your hippie brother so we can go with that approach but Janis: I will Jimmy: 💕 Janis: he's about, also good with kids so a sound choice for babysitter Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Bob's was alright with him so must be Jimmy: he don't like anyone Janis: wonder where he gets that from Jimmy: not the 🐶 Jimmy: right slag she is Janis: 😱 Janis: it's called being friendly Jimmy: I can be friendly Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: did I tell you how much I missed you? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but say it again Janis: I missed you so bad, Jimmy Jimmy: you're gonna show me too, yeah Janis: 'course I am Janis: so much to make up for Jimmy: go with the selfie approach right now Jimmy: I'm gonna be in this shop forever Janis: poor boy Janis: dunno know sexy you think I can be just outside but Janis: 💪 okay Jimmy: it's not a challenge if anyone can do it Jimmy: impress me Janis: you're being really Janis: inspiring, right now Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: so come on Janis: [selfies] Jimmy: It's Jimmy: but you only win if I'm begging you to come back in Janis: 😖 Janis: hold on then Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: [has gone somewhere less public for a sec so she can go harder] Janis: better? Jimmy: I Janis: 😩 Janis: you're playing so hard to get today Jimmy: I just really want you to win Janis: give me a clue, please Janis: wwhat do you really want Jimmy: you don't need any clues to that Jimmy: you can do this Jimmy: you're my muse, remember Jimmy: you tell me what I want Janis: okay babe Janis: [sends him short video playing and saying how bad she wants him and missed him etc 'cos go hard or go home] Jimmy: that sent a fucking shiver through me Jimmy: your brother better be on his way or you better come back Jimmy: 'cause you win Jimmy: I'm Janis: 😍 good Janis: I'm happy Janis: so tell the kid to get a wriggle on 'cos he's about to pull up Jimmy: okay baby Jimmy: I'm happy to do anything you say right now Jimmy: fuck Janis: I don't know if I can handle waiting much longer so Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: [they come out] Janis: [get in this van kids] Jimmy: [puts the kid and the dog in the front with Iggy for distraction so they can be alone in the back] Janis: it's been way too long since we were alone Jimmy: I know Janis: it's been so fucking hard seeing you at School and not even being able to talk to you never mind Janis: e with you Janis: be* Jimmy: I promised to fuck you at school Jimmy: I will Janis: God, yeah? Janis: [gets on his lap] Jimmy: first thing Monday Jimmy: I swear Janis: [is kissing him all over] Jimmy: why did I wear so much Janis: you didn't know you'd be seeing me Janis: or we'd end up here Janis: we can make it happen Jimmy: but I was thinking about it Jimmy: I told you, I haven't stopped thinking about you Janis: [takes off his then her outerwear to make it a bit easier without being suspect] Janis: tell me again Janis: but more Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear & her name with it cos like obvs] Janis: [can't even help the sounds she just made] Jimmy: [kisses her so he don't also 'cause you don't need to get rumbled before you've begun kids] Janis: do you want me to go down or you or do you wanna just fuck, I can't decide Janis: I'm so Jimmy: I want everything Jimmy: but I want to be inside you more than anything else Jimmy: you're just Janis: we've got nothing but time Janis: we'll do everything but Janis: just fuck me right now, hard and fast Jimmy: just cum for me hard & fast Jimmy: I need to feel that Janis: how does it feel when I cum around you Janis: I know how good it is when you cum inside me but Ive always wondered Jimmy: like Jimmy: you love me Janis: I do love you Jimmy: it kills me every time you say that Janis: in a good way? Jimmy: in a way that I can't even describe Jimmy: I'm dying but I've never been more alive at the same time Jimmy: maybe Janis: I'll keep telling you, you're so fucking good with words Jimmy: or like I've got everything to lose but nowt 'cause I've got you & you're literally telling me I do Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just Janis: [kisses him so hard so she isn't just screaming ILY in his face] Jimmy: I really Jimmy: feel it too you know Janis: I know baby Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: you've got me Janis: I'm completely yours Jimmy: [is doing his thing where he's trying to pull her closer the whole time but there's no closer to get. I love this clingy boy] Janis: [hops on that dick 'cos here's how you can get closer] Jimmy: oh my god Jimmy: [puts music on but a different song cos we're making new mems here kids] Janis: good idea 'cos Janis: wow Janis: you feel so Janis: right Janis: inside me Jimmy: I literally don't wanna ever do this with anyone else Jimmy: that's what you feel like Janis: good Janis: just me Janis: [makes him look at her by holding his chin] Jimmy: [sexy eye contact ftw cos when you're not me you can do that] Janis: the way you look at me Jimmy: how do more people not? Jimmy: seriously Jimmy: you're so fucking beautiful I Janis: I don't want them to Janis: no one else could make me feel so much with just a look Jimmy: I don't want them to either Jimmy: 'cause you're my girlfriend Janis: [starts exaggerating every move she makes, making it deeper as well as being in time to the song] Janis: I am Jimmy: baby Jimmy: [has to bite his lip 'cause damn so be careful boy] Janis: no Janis: bite me instead Jimmy: [does because who could refuse] Janis: I do like it when you call me baby, how did you call that Jimmy: you liked it when I fake said it Jimmy: I could tell Janis: there's a lot of things I liked that we fake did Jimmy: me too Jimmy: but this is Janis: real Jimmy: & better Janis: so fucking good Jimmy: [is just being extra on any of her exposed skin casually] Janis: how does that feel Janis: it's that perfect spot between pain and fucking Janis: whatever you make me feel is called Jimmy: how do you taste so Jimmy: all of you Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I don't know all I know is I want you to fucking devour me so maybe that helps Jimmy: everyone's gonna know we're back together Jimmy: I've really Janis: good Janis: do more, I'm your girlfriend Jimmy: [does & harder cos dutiful boyfriend] Janis: Jimmy that feels Jimmy: say it Janis: like fucking heaven Jimmy: [keeps going cos what more do you need to hear honestly] Janis: [going harder, takes one of his hands and puts it where she needs it] Janis: make me cum for you Jimmy: [hopefully does or else awkward] Janis: [takes his fingers away when she's just about to and put them in her mouth to suck on so she doesn't scream when she cums on his cock] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: you should do that more Janis: which part Jimmy: the bit where nobody knew how loud you wanted to be Jimmy: it's gonna be really helpful at school Janis: okay, something to occupy my mouth Janis: noted Jimmy: me though Jimmy: I liked it Jimmy: don't just be putting random school supplies in there Janis: [lols which appaz feels really good js] Janis: okay, also noted Janis: 🤓 so studious Jimmy: also I really fucking like you Jimmy: note that down, nerd Janis: 😏 Janis: write it all over my schoolbooks, obvs Jimmy: my name better be on there Jimmy: are we #goals or not Janis: 'course Janis: anything artsier than that you'll have to do yourself Jimmy: I've already drawn you all over mine Jimmy: but if I can find the space, I'll draw you like you just were Jimmy: 'cause you're that nerd Janis: think you might get in some trouble for that Jimmy: I'm ready to get in trouble for you Jimmy: you know that Janis: I'm ready to do this for as long as we can Jimmy: I'm not stopping unless you beg me to Jimmy: & then its a maybe Janis: fuck me Jimmy: you heard me, I'm gonna Jimmy: if you don't need me to carry you into your house what are we even doing Janis: how are you so Janis: actually feel it almost again already it's not fair how good you are Jimmy: nah, how are you so Jimmy: I want you all the time Janis: it made me wanna die thinking we'd never again Janis: because not only do I love you but I still wanted you so bad too it was Jimmy: don't think about that, baby Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: [puts in the work so she won't] Janis: how does he not hear I Janis: even if I'm really good I'm so wet it's so loud Jimmy: I reckon we're gonna owe your brother more than petrol money again, girl Jimmy: at least he's really good at distracting mine Jimmy: not a chat I need to have right now Jimmy: when brother's & their girlfriend's really love each other Janis: [hides her face like she's embarrassed but really just dying] Janis: don't Jimmy: hey, look at me Jimmy: I love you Janis: [cums again whilst making all the eye contact 'cos] Jimmy: [whispers that he loves her again cos can't be tamed now apparently excuse you boy did I consent] Janis: [saying it back again and again 'til it lowkey doesn't make any sense] Jimmy: [and then all the snuggles after cos they are the softest & I can't deal with it] Janis: knew we'd be here too soon Jimmy: don't you want me to carry you in & get you out of all those clothes? Jimmy: properly Janis: were you always this Jimmy: what compliment are you trying to backhand, sweetheart Jimmy: bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i just really want that and i really missed you, is all Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: 'cause same, alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [does carry her in which makes Twix highkey] Janis: don't trip she's always doing that Jimmy: [has a really cute concentration face on] Janis: 🤤 Janis: baby Jimmy: ? Janis: you're so fucking  cute Janis: continue Jimmy: [continues but then has to put her down cos I ain't letting him carry her all through the house thank you boy you'll hurt yourself] Jimmy: Let me just sort Bob's out & I'll be back with you Janis: 👍 Janis: you know where to find me Jimmy: don't be taking everything off though Jimmy: I said I'd do it Janis: I 🤞 Janis: I want you to Jimmy: I totally read that as 🖕 for a sec Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😂 Janis: i'm being good, honest Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: 😈 you Janis: depends how long you have to be Jimmy: time me Jimmy: then you can decide Janis: if you're longer than Janis: 5 minutes Janis: i can be 😈? Jimmy: if that's the #mood Jimmy: not gonna argue Jimmy: can't with a # Janis: so goals always you Jimmy: you're so #blessed Janis: feel it Janis: still Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [actually is longer than 5 mins tho getting that shy kiddo sorted out but then appears leaning on her door frame like a nerd] Janis: [can't help but lol] Janis: hey handsome Jimmy: pissing yourself laughing ain't the reaction I expected Jimmy: did you get drunk in those few minutes, lightweight? Janis: maybe Janis: but only the fun kind Jimmy: without me Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you were longer than five, technically Janis: so can be as rude as I wanna Jimmy: so you had like a shot a minute? Jimmy: what a lad Janis: you wish Jimmy: not what I'm wishing Jimmy: but go on Janis: are you coming in to tell me all about it or what, nerd Jimmy: [comes in & kisses her] Jimmy: or what, I suppose Janis: [smiles happy af] Janis: I like it Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos her smile is rude] Janis: I really like having you as my boyfriend, you know Jimmy: I really like having you as my girlfriend, you know Jimmy: [takes off the first layer of whatever she's wearing & kisses her all over there so soft] Janis: [is playing with his hair and making all the contented noises she wants] Jimmy: [repeat for every layer, with the kisses getting less soft as we go, until there are none] Janis: [takes off his clothes a lot less soft and considered 'cos damn, her hands roaming all over his body again 'cos damn] Jimmy: [hot naked make out session they finally deserve for a while cos clothes are always a damn issue] Janis: why do you have to wear clothes Janis: it's rude Jimmy: so that you don't 💀💀💀 Janis: so considerate Janis: 💕 Janis: the rest of the world is probably mad at me but Jimmy: nah, I told you, selfish Jimmy: more use to me alive Jimmy: so I want you to stay like it Janis: always good to get it out there that you ain't a necrophile Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: that ain't all I want you for Jimmy: mostly but there's also the 🐶 Janis: 😂 soz Janis: your intentions are so pure Jimmy: they really ain't Jimmy: not right now Janis: should hope not Janis: [gestures at self] Janis: bit rude, like Jimmy was timed out 2 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 2 days ago Jimmy: [does a lil lol oh these nerds] Janis: you're so Janis: [can't even so is just letting her hands explain] Jimmy: [likewise cos likewise can't even] Janis: we're gonna do this for a while Janis: me and you Janis: right Jimmy: unless you're planning on kicking me out Jimmy: bit rude though Janis: really not what I've got in mind Jimmy: [is doing everything deliberately slowly in like a sexy lingering way cos same & they've got time bitch] Janis: [is enjoying] Janis: stay forever Jimmy: [is also obvs & promises out loud cos he's always doing that] Janis: [kisses and saying missed you again and again 'cos true] Jimmy: [all the kisses everywhere all the time because too in love & too cute] Janis: [use your imagination for however long they're allowed] Jimmy: [I'm giving them time they deserve it & also saying that Grace met Twix and Bobby during & it was cute when she came back to get/do whatever but is now gone again cos we don't need that awks rn] Janis: Miss you alreay Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause misses doing that already extra boy] Jimmy: but not to become your dad's 🥇 I'm so hungry though Janis: 😏 Janis: you actually want something though? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: gotta stay alive, don't we Janis: [takes his hand and takes him upstairs] Jimmy: [nearly gets tripped over by Twix as standard] Janis: awh, she's missed you too Janis: [gives Twix love 'cos obvs shameless fave] Jimmy: nah she wants me out of the way 🔪 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: plot of a shit movie that Janis: me like soz I don't see it, she's my bestie Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't reckon your brother'll be rushing to make it for the #clout Janis: made weirder Janis: and she has that #starquality Janis: 'gram fame gone to her head, thinks she's an actress Jimmy: & MOST importantly, I've got this face Jimmy: [grins] Janis: [fakes snapping pics like a nerd] Janis: so beautiful Jimmy: [actually does snap a pic of her though 'cause she is] Jimmy: I know Janis: [blush blush] Janis: think he's at work so you'll have to put up with me 💔 Janis: always leftovers though Janis: [gestures at fridge like go for it] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [gets his plate of food & is eating it but also gestures that she comes & sits on his lap cos fave thing] Janis: [does even though she's making faux complaints like 'you know it'd be easier to eat otherwise, yeah?' etc] Janis: 👍? Jimmy: [kisses her cos shh but also love you] Jimmy: what the fuck is it though? Jimmy: I can basically remember who you are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Empadão Janis: 'cos you're predictable and Northern Janis: chicken pie but make it extra [shrugs] Jimmy: [shakes his head but lols a little] Jimmy: say it for me then 'cause you ain't Jimmy: & I'm not learning any paddy lingo am I Janis: [does and any sides he probably has] Jimmy: [is shamelessly heart eyes about it not sorry it's hot thanks for coming through for your kids like that Caleb] Janis: [rolls her eyes but gives him a forehead kiss] Jimmy: [feeds her some of the food cos we all gotta eat babe] Janis: [someone walks in and then out again and she's so moody] Janis: wish I had my own place Jimmy: me too Jimmy: me or you Janis: and a car Jimmy: 👌 I'll steal my dad's stop begging 😏 Janis: as much fun as it'd be to leave it burnt out under some underpass Janis: don't wanna see ian on the bus soz Jimmy: [as if evoked by the mention of his name he rings wanting to know where Bobby is & Jimmy's like with me bitch cos you don't need details thank you] Janis: ✞ Janis: that was sinister Jimmy: have a word with your god please Jimmy: I should probably check on the boy though Jimmy: hold on Janis: yeah, see if they've fed him or what Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [is a while establishing his little bro is living his best life in the Cali gaff] Janis: [is seeing what kid appropriate shit they have anyway 'cos reckons he's probably picky] Jimmy: [brings this little legend into the kitchen & he's chatting SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING like who is he cos normally so shy & quiet] Janis: [is just smiling 'cos nice to see and gets him food he'd like and some shit to try] Jimmy: [Jimothy is also smiling cos he's eating it & not being a baby diva which he normally would] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: first my 🐶 then my sister & now him, yeah? Jimmy: #yourinfluencebabe Janis: 💁 Janis: take my credit and praise now please and thanks Jimmy: good 'cause you ain't getting no cash from me, rich girl Jimmy: jobless & closer to penniless every sec like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 😢 Janis: poor boy Janis: can't even make the most of it now school Jimmy: my own fault Jimmy: I really fucked that interview Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I didn't exactly help so Janis: you'll get the next one Jimmy: [kisses her cos shhh] Janis: back doing what you 💕 in no time Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you really want a smoothie Jimmy: calm down Janis: just don't want Doris to die on hunger strike, like Janis: needs a pot of tea and victoria sponge stat Jimmy: 💕👵 Jimmy: [actually starts making her a smoothie though cos in this kitchen I think so bitch] Janis: can forcibly remove the boy from the CG Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I can forcibly remove you from my work space if you're gonna kick off, girl Jimmy: 💪 Janis: 😂 Janis: not how I remember it but go off Jimmy: [playfight cos it's been so long] Janis: [so domestic 'scuse you fam] Jimmy: [turns into kisses cos he is so in love rn soz but not everybody] Janis: I love you Jimmy: it's gonna be a bit awkward now if you don't Jimmy: [but carries on making the smoothie cos love you too babe] Janis: anything to save from an awkward moment Jimmy: [touches one of the many lovebites he gave her earlier] Jimmy: yeah Janis: you Janis: [blushing, mad about it] Jimmy: me Jimmy: what? Janis: dickhead Janis: [but kisses] Jimmy: I love you too Janis: [has to go sit 'cos can't even deal] Jimmy: what are we doing tonight then Jimmy: out to flaunt it or it to make 'em wish we would Jimmy: in* Janis: we can go out as long as we don't go to any party they could be at Jimmy: easy Jimmy: you're gonna talk to Grace though? Janis: shh Jimmy: I'll set the 🐶 on you Jimmy: or the kid Janis: they both love me rn Janis: do your worst Jimmy: [beckons Bobby over & whispers to him like 'tell her she's gotta do what I say' but when he goes over to Janis he says 'you've gotta do what I say' cos cheeky] Janis: [lols and goes around doing whatever things a six year old can think of] Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: miss you already Janis: mr steal your girl Jimmy: [brings her her smoothie in a bit cos let's say they are in the garden with Twix playing] Jimmy: [but was a while cos he would have cleaned up & everything cos how he living] Jimmy: let's just find a pub we aren't banned from Jimmy: parties are bollocks Janis: [nods 'cos yeah] Janis: sounds good to me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: how do you do this Janis: actually knackering Jimmy: you've met my dad Jimmy: Bobby's a holiday compared to Ian Jimmy: [is giving the dog some 'begrudging' love we see you boy] Jimmy: you can just admit I wore you out, it's alright Janis: fair Janis: he's cute Janis: not Ian Janis: before you start Janis: 😒 because I will admit no such thing either, thank you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: drink your energy, baby Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [does 'cos loves a smoothie moment] Janis: tah Jimmy: alright? Janis: wasted on the old ladies, babe Jimmy: 👵💔 Jimmy: tweet it, girl Jimmy: Doris'll square up Janis: not afraid Janis: 🥊 Janis: get onboard or leave, bitch Jimmy: protect me then Janis: nah, she'll pine from a distance 💔 Janis: same bitch Jimmy: [kisses her cos shh but soft] Janis: how's it feel being so #wanted, babe? Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [asks her cos he's a nerd] Janis: [pushes him down so she can lay her head on his stomach and lay in the grass together] Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: well I need a pillow so hush Janis: just that worn out, yeah? Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I'm multi-talented Janis: [tickles his belly like shh but love] Jimmy: [is like oi & throws some grass at her like we all used to do at school but loves it really] Janis: [grass fight lmao mature] Jimmy: [but then he gets to play with her hair after cos grass in it so 😍 even though he lost] Janis: gonna be finding that forever now Jimmy: I'll get it 🏆 Jimmy: [blatant excuse to just keep playing with her hair for ages] Janis: 🐒 you Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: [doesn't stop though] Janis: like it Janis: [does] Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you like me Jimmy: always going on about it, you Jimmy: [but kisses her again cos same] Janis: you piss off Janis: 😶 Janis: never say it  now Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: [whispers 'baby please' in a saucy way cos cheeky] Janis: [gives him a stop it look 'cos kills her and sassily turns and gives Twix love] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: [kisses her neck and shoulder so much cos she turned away & he's being annoying] Janis: [can only stay strong for so long before turning back and giving him a long-ass kiss] Janis: kiss of life, you're welcome Jimmy: say it for me Janis: [does but whispers in his ear 'cos being extra enough poor Bobs lol] Jimmy: let's Jimmy: go back to your room Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: just Jimmy: help me up Janis: [helps this soft boy] Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: [actually is looking at her like that lowkey though] Janis: know just how to make me feel #wanted Jimmy: hang on, I ain't started yet Janis: 😏 Janis: promises promises Jimmy: well it weren't gonna be a warning Jimmy: told you, not trying to lure & murder you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: make me not 💔 about that, babe Jimmy: come on Janis: [skip ahead so they're in her room again don't need to be starting before ty] Jimmy: I've got no words left Jimmy: I just Janis: [takes her top off and is maintaining eye contact how they do] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like !! I can't even] Janis: [walks over to him deliberately slowly enjoy boy] Janis: take yours off Jimmy: [does & is also deliberately unf about it] Janis: [kissing down his body 'til she on her knees in front of him like hey] Jimmy: [you know this boy just dying okay damn] Janis: [painfully slow about unbuttoning etc] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK like he's so sassy but at the same time has literally stopped breathing so what's the truth Jimothy] Janis: [stops and looks up at him challengingly like 'you want me to stop?'] Jimmy: [looks back at her like girl you better not] Janis: [smirks like 'thought so' and finally, but suddenly, takes him fully into her mouth, moaning with it 'cos wants this as much] Jimmy: [thank god it's only Diego on this floor 'cause obvs he's also being loud & ridiculous about it] Janis: [back to teasing him 'cos gotta, just circling her tongue 'round and 'round and licking up and down like nbd] Jimmy: [is trying to be mad about but can't] Janis: you look really good from this angle Janis: just so you know Jimmy: 📷 me Jimmy: it's been ages since my last social media ban Janis: [lols but does 'cos he do and she wanna keep it so] Jimmy: [is obviously into the fact that she's gonna have that pic of him & makes it known whether he meant to or not] Janis: Get it Janis: nice to be the muse sometimes, yeah? Janis: [goes harder again 'cos poor boy] Jimmy: [says his 'yeah' out loud cos honestly] Janis: [is encouraged] Jimmy: [says her name a lot cos it'll encourage her more] Janis: [says similarly encouraging things back 'cos feeling it and imma let you finish boy] Jimmy: [is very much feeling it as we can imagine] Janis: we don't have time to Janis: do we? Jimmy: we'll make time Jimmy: 🥇 aren't we Janis: you Jimmy: you Jimmy: seriously Janis: [takes whatever she's got on her bottom off too and stands up] Janis: please then Jimmy: [never needs to be told twice so go off kids] Janis: [after snuggling wherever they landed 'cos we know lol] Jimmy: [his dad calls again cos that prick & he don't answer cos busy thank you but like he'd just keep ringing so eventually does] Jimmy: I gotta take this kid back Janis: 👍 Janis: want me to think of somewhere decent and meet you there or am I picking you up at 8 like the gentleman I am Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: do you want me to get lost? Jimmy: 'cause if not you gotta come find me Janis: 👌 Janis: true Janis: can't have a repeat of the cow incident Janis: tell Ian to put the shotgun away then Jimmy: meet me 'round the corner so I don't have to chat to him Jimmy: I reckon I can find my way that far alone Janis: believe in you, babe Janis: [kiss for 🍀] Jimmy: [another really long kiss for bye] Janis: [says ily 'cos she can bitch] Jimmy: [is 😳 & 😍] Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: actually 8 or was that a full pisstake? Janis: whenever you're ready, I'm still her avoiding hoes too so Janis: sooner the better Jimmy: once I get home won't be long Jimmy: just need to shower Jimmy: & make sure Cass is back Jimmy: 'cause he don't give a shit if she's alright or owt 🙄 Janis: 🙄 Janis: and here I was thinking you were father of the year Janis: tragic Jimmy: sort it out Ian Jimmy: you've let yourself down, Leprechaun town down & most importantly your son's missus Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: fully #teambobby now Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: reckoned you were only team 🐶 Janis: I'm very mysterious Janis: gotta keep you 🤔 Jimmy: I already know you chat shit Jimmy: it's alright Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 I get our fave bus bloke & can keep him 🤔 Janis: gonna know that kid ain't mine for sure Jimmy: got your freckles though Jimmy: #whatsthetruth Janis: 😂 Janis: you're a nerd Jimmy: I'm saying I don't know where else they came from, girl Jimmy: take the credit Janis: maybe if that didn't mean Janis: 🤢🤢 Ian Jimmy: I get it, but he might not be his dad Jimmy: my mum ain't around to ask Janis: you two look alike though Janis: either her DNA 💪 or he sadly is Jimmy: if you tell me I look like my dad I'm dumping you Janis: if you did, you wouldn't ave anyone to dump Jimmy: touche Janis: 👍 Janis: fancy Jimmy: sometimes we use big words in the north Janis: I know Janis: 🍀 to have heard your way with words, boy Jimmy: don't be trying to make me 😳 at the bus stop Janis: but you wanna look cute for your man Jimmy: but he thinks I'm so 😎💪 Jimmy: let me have this one thing, girl, come on Janis: I'm selfish though Janis: don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: don't act like you didn't know Janis: now who's trying to make who 😳 Jimmy: not trying but if you do 📷 it Janis: get you 😎💪 Janis: I'm so busy and important rn soz I can't Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: I'll just be busy missing you so much then Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: teach my sister a thing or two about a guilt trip, babe Janis: much better at it Jimmy: hang on, I'll hit her up Jimmy: since you're so busy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: shut up 🙄 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🎨 to do anyways can't let Bob outshine me 🏆 Janis: you are gonna have to up your game 'cos 🥇 that Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #sheusedtosaythataboutme Jimmy: #storytime Janis: 😏 Janis: collab with gracieguru but i never did 'bout her so lies, babes Jimmy: actually 💔 me that Jimmy: Grace come & console me, girl Janis: you're the worst Jimmy: 🥇 to the worst in how many minutes? Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: #goals Janis: i'm ingorning you and pretending i need to get ready Janis: good day Jimmy: now that's a collab with your sister Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: it don't take that long to stick on some lashes I ain't having it Jimmy: I'll hit my ex up for the #truth, Gracie, come on Janis: 🤢 Janis: she'd probably hit you with a #dontwastegoodlashesonabadguy but i ain't gonna waste my breath on that, no tah Jimmy: 😂 Janis: probably should shower though, only fair if you are Janis: #polite Jimmy: I don't care if you don't wanna Jimmy: It's the one place I can't hear my dad having a go at me though so I'm committed Janis: 👍 Janis: I feel it Janis: have to lock the door and some of these fuckers might still be banging to be let in but Janis: piss in the garden or hold it 😘 Jimmy: how many bathrooms have you got, rich girl? Jimmy: I know it ain't just the one Janis: 5 Janis: but at the worst, we had over double that in people so it's not as luxurious as it could be Janis: plus they just got boundary issues, you can tell Jimmy: I've met Grace, yeah Jimmy: tried to be sick on me one convo deep Janis: exactly Janis: and you didn't share a womb with her so Jimmy: but we're still a bathroom for 4 so I don't feel sorry for you Jimmy: 5 if my dad's feeling 💕 Janis: 🤷 Janis: damn Janis: all I needed you for Janis: bye, like Jimmy: stick some classic FM on babe, you'll be alright Jimmy: maybe go say hi to Pete Jimmy: I miss him so much 💔 Janis: same 💔 Janis: I need to know what he's doing with his life Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: OMG you should invite him out tonight, honey Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: #getyourman Janis: 😖 what if he don't remember me Janis: I'll straight up DIE Jimmy: babe you know you're unforgettable Janis: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: duh Janis: 💖 Janis: wanna get matching tattoos Jimmy: obvs! Jimmy: what do you wanna get? Jimmy: 🦋 or infinity symbol Janis: 🤔 Janis: such a hard decision Janis: all I know is I'm getting it on my ass Jimmy: I'm getting it on my wrist Jimmy: gotta Janis: 😬 Janis: #whenyourbestieisabasicbitch Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: soz babes but someone had to say it Janis: saving you from how much everyone would drag you Jimmy: 👌 I love you again Jimmy: tah babes Jimmy: 💖💖💖 Janis: 😘 wanna have a sleepover? Jimmy: I don't have to fake that enthusiasm Jimmy: I really do Janis: duh Janis: me too Janis: can't be too mad, no church and no school tomorrow so 👍😇 Jimmy: did you have a word with your god yet? Jimmy: maybe wait for a bit Janis: I ain't putting my sunday best on for you either Janis: be more blatant that you wanna change me Janis: 😭 Jimmy: as long as you've got your skirt on for Monday, I forgive you Jimmy: be that nice to me Jimmy: please Janis: I wanna because you're gonna be even nicer to me, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🤤 brb Jimmy: 😘 Janis: School's been so fucking shit without you Janis: more than normal Jimmy: you ain't even been there since the start Jimmy: it was Jimmy: it is but Janis: yeah that must've been Janis: sorry Jimmy: just Jimmy: if you're sick or something let me know Jimmy: 'cause I ain't going Janis: deal Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💪 immune system but don't tell the teachers 'cos love a sickie Jimmy: gimme an invite & I'll shut up Jimmy: maybe Janis: dunno if I wanna hang w a grass, boy Janis: 'less you gonna look after me Jimmy: you know it Janis: pretend i took more convincing Jimmy: that's what we'll say Jimmy: promise Janis: 👌 Janis: you're the best, actual Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: you're gonna make me 😳 for real Jimmy: stop Janis: soz, being annoying and I know it but Janis: I just Janis: I'm glad you're back Janis: I'm back, I guess Jimmy: it's not annoying Jimmy: you're Jimmy: doing your job as muse right now, I suppose Jimmy: & I'm glad Jimmy: but also Jimmy: you could be closer Jimmy: so I just Janis: I will be Janis: tonight Janis: whenever you want, I'm not going anywhere Jimmy: good Jimmy: stay Janis: you too Jimmy: alright Janis: alright that you will, yeah? Jimmy: I will Janis: good Janis: me too Jimmy: so where we going Jimmy: you sorted that yet Janis: keen 😉 Janis: sure Janis: I know lots of places Jimmy: you're keen Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: obvs Janis: pisshead, ain't I? Janis: not about you, mate Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: could be anyone, me Janis: mhmm Janis: #thathoelife Janis: how many lads did I fit into a week again? Jimmy: 100s Janis: that high, best to be vague Jimmy: sounds more impressive than 101 or 2 Jimmy: just a weird number that Janis: oh now it's not good enough Janis: get back out there asap Jimmy: nowt's as impressive as me having Mia round for a quiet night in Jimmy: ain't my fault Janis: know that ain't true Janis: be having 👻 chat rn Jimmy: it is, she's just a really horny mute & I'm that 💪 Janis: 🖕 Janis: go get eaten, Taylor Jimmy: can't, one night with me & she's a changed lass Janis: 🙄 Janis: made her all bark no bite? Janis: boring Jimmy: her being boring's nowt to do with me Janis: 👌 Janis: convenient Jimmy: nah really inconvenient Jimmy: hoping for a 🐍 & got a 🐛 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: not sorry for you, babe Jimmy: come on Jimmy: be 💔 for me Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: gimme at least 1 🎻 Janis: 🎺 Janis: how buzzin' I am you had a shit time Jimmy was timed out 36 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 36 hours ago Jimmy: add a 🍆 & you've got it Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: 😑 you aren't funny Jimmy: a bit Janis: a lot of a dickhead though Janis: have that Jimmy: don't matter Jimmy: you like it Janis: perhaps Jimmy: I won't say owt to anybody don't worry Jimmy: this 🎨 will do the job Janis: yeah? cool but save your words for me, romeo Jimmy: I love you, alright Janis: eurgh 😉 Janis: shut up love you too Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: shutting up now Janis: you on the bus yeah Janis: already bored without you Jimmy: [sends a selfie of him & Bob's with Twix sitting in his backpack] Janis: 😍 Jimmy: tried to shove the boy in too but he wouldn't go Jimmy: getting too big 🙄 Janis: 💔 Janis: get one for that Jimmy: gimme a 🎻 though Jimmy: we're dancing here Janis: 'course, nerds Janis: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: he needs to hurry up & grow so he can just come to the pub with us Jimmy: then a shower with you & I'd have been good to go Janis: really worried you were suggesting he get in the shower too but I'm with you Jimmy: make it weird, girl Jimmy: it's been a bit Jimmy: since you were Janis: 'scuse me, when was I weird? Jimmy: how far back we going on it babe Janis: 😱 Janis: just today, can't handle any more than that tah, so fragile Jimmy: today 🤔🤔? Jimmy: that'd be every second then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: so rude Janis: if I wasn't you would have had a way more boring time so appreciate, thanks 💕 Jimmy: I am Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: next job you get can they also give you boyfriend training Jimmy: I get it, trying to get outta that like you do with the 🐶 Janis: I think you'll find it's called delegating Jimmy: that sounds like a paddy excuse Jimmy: in the north we call it pissing about Janis: hmm, what makes you sure I'm up to the job with you if you also reckon I'm crap with the 🐶? Jimmy: if I answer that you're gonna 😳 again Jimmy: & anyway don't do that with questions, do I Janis: True enough Janis: gutting though it is Jimmy: you want me to chat or shut up? Jimmy: make your mind up like Janis: can't I have it both ways? #UGH #BOYS Jimmy: nightmare you Janis: I know 😘 Jimmy: what are you even doing right, layabout Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: now* Janis: thinking 'bout you, dickhead Janis: my god given right think you'll find Jimmy: don't say that if you're only taking the piss Jimmy: 'cause now I'm thinking about you thinking about me Jimmy: & Janis: I ain't Janis: you had to leave too soon Janis: I think about you a lot Jimmy: I'm about to take over this bus like I'm in a shit action flick & turn it around Jimmy: I Jimmy: I want you a lot Janis: hot 😂 Janis: your GTA fetish becomes more and more obvious Janis: but I still want you more so Jimmy: I told you, Ian hates women Jimmy: & he's such a hands on parent Jimmy: ain't my fault I been raised on those mean streets Janis: s'cool Janis: we can kill hookers together Jimmy: #truelove Jimmy: muscle him out of the father son bonding activity 🏆💪 love that Janis: just that bitch 🤷 Janis: nice of him to take on that one motherly role, usually the woman like you ain't good enough for my baby boy Janis: 10/10 Ian Jimmy: so clingy you Jimmy: well it's his fault I ain't got one, only fair Janis: can you blame me? look at you Janis: exactly Jimmy: 😍😍😍 I get it Jimmy: I told you, I'm a good boyfriend Janis: too good Jimmy: you need to deal with that Jimmy: 'cause I ain't stopping Janis: yeah, you want me to? Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: get used to me, girl Jimmy: I know I'm really 😎💪 but don't be intimidated Jimmy: you're alright too, for a girl Janis: never Janis: like how new you are Janis: know that's your #appeal Jimmy: fine I'll leave & come back so I'm the new boy again Jimmy: no need to beg Janis: you've already left, babe Janis: like the first time Jimmy: but maybe I gotta leave Leprechaun land Jimmy: bump up my #appeal Janis: no Jimmy: gotta get off this bus though Janis: I'll allow that Jimmy: 👌 Janis: any further than that you gotta gimme more warning so I can Jimmy: you can come with me Jimmy: you know Janis: where are we going? Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: you can come with me wherever Janis: you aren't bullshitting me Janis: swear Jimmy: I'm not Janis: Good Janis: we'll do it Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: easy then Janis: anywhere a long way from here Janis: got family in london and nyc though so certain neighbourhoods we'd have to avoid Jimmy: fine by me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: how long do dogs live 'cause it's been enough bollocks having her on this bus for a bit Janis: she could go for another 10-15 easy Janis: you gonna show up when I'm boring and married and be like pack your bags is it Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: see if you've forgot about me Jimmy: but if you've got kids they ain't coming Janis: soz darlings, deal's a deal Jimmy: just don't marry that lift lad, alright Janis: do my best Janis: obvs wanna be mrs pete but who knows what'll happen, babe Jimmy: I told you, I saw him first Janis: well he 👀s me Janis: 🥊 you for him Jimmy: any time any place Janis: my imaginary children's lives depend on it so Janis: stand no chance, boy Jimmy: you ain't having any you said Janis: who am I to deny the world how cute pete's offspring would be Janis: anyway, in this pretend scenario also married and boring, both of which ain't ever happening either so roll with it Jimmy: you could just let him have them with the one he's with now Jimmy: be smart about it Janis: doubt she's as cute as me Jimmy: but come on Jimmy: that body Jimmy: you're gonna ruin it Janis: have you seen my ma Janis: #geneticallyblessed Janis: he don't need to have 10 either Jimmy: give him twins Jimmy: you'd be about that Janis: 😑 Janis: horror movie where the ptsd kicks in and i have to murder one like not again Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: your brother would make that Janis: 🤞ask grace to be in it, lad Janis: she'll 😭 Jimmy: can she cry on cue or what the fuck is it Janis: nothing useful like that Janis: it's just her natural state of being Jimmy: I get it, she's allergic to Mia Jimmy: #same Janis: allergic to her own bullshit more like Janis: or her expensive mascara, awks Jimmy: can I use the excuse that I'm allergic to my dad's Jimmy: either his girlfriend's mascara or his bullshit, don't matter Jimmy: just gotta quarantine myself Janis: can I visit? Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: can't nurse myself Janis: not that I'm amazing at it Janis: kept forgetting about your poor lip Jimmy: who the fuck has entered this chat Jimmy: 'cause you ain't never admitted to being less than 🥇 at owt ever Janis: 😏 shh Janis: not my fault you looked 🥇 Jimmy: & I forget about it any time you touch me so Janis: I really missed you Janis: not done showing you Jimmy: I miss you now Jimmy: so don't be Janis: ain't Janis: between that and how sorry I am, got so much to show you Jimmy: you're so sorry, aren't you? Jimmy: me too Janis: yes Janis: why are you sorry, babe Jimmy: it was my fault too Jimmy: I've gotta do my bit to make it up to you Janis: nah Janis: not gonna complain about that though Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you'r Janis: e Jimmy: what do you wanna say, baby? Janis: fuck Janis: just Janis: tell me when you're home, I wanna shower with you Jimmy: not far now Janis: okay Jimmy: I finished my masterpiece for you Janis: do I get a preview? Jimmy: do you want one? Janis: yes Jimmy: [gets what she wants of course] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: dead good Jimmy: you can have it Jimmy: in case you feel like you can't stay Janis: I'm gonna, promise Janis: but thanks Janis: I want it Jimmy: if you do stick around maybe you'll inspire me to draw you how you look Jimmy: 'cause I can't Jimmy: you're just Janis: but I can feel how it felt Janis: idk Janis: don't come for me, not an art critic Jimmy: but you're the only one who I give a shit about Janis: it's good, you're good Janis: trust me Jimmy: you are Jimmy: & I do Janis: ruining my rep tho Janis: got me feeling some type of way Jimmy: that rep should be ruined Jimmy: it's bollocks Janis: go hard then, babe Janis: doing a pretty 💪 job, like Jimmy: & I'm home Jimmy: so let's do more Janis: thought you'd never ask Janis: felt like the longest bus journey ever Jimmy: it was Jimmy: let me just check Cass ain't been impregnated by her boy mate Jimmy: hang on Janis: eurgh babe Jimmy: I'm not gonna do a physical one Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: simple yeah or nah Janis: such a dad Janis: poor cass Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I weren't fucking when I was 12 Jimmy: won't kill her Janis: obviously but having this convo with you might Jimmy: I'll leave it for Ian, then she'll kill him Jimmy: job done Janis: exactly Janis: that's what parents, even shit ones, are for Jimmy: get in the shower Janis: damn Janis: not saying please now Jimmy: alright Jimmy: get in the shower please Janis: 👌 Janis: was going before you asked nicely Jimmy: & now I have what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna facetime Jimmy: do you? Janis: yes Janis: obviously Jimmy: then yeah, obviously Jimmy: go on Janis: [calls 'cos like my boo said phones are defs waterproof] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining his dad banging on the door cos in there forever lol] Janis: [suck it Ian, also later] Janis: lurking 'round your ends Janis: hurry up Jimmy: since you asked nicely Jimmy: [comes out with unlit 🚬 already in his mouth cos been with Bobby for an age but doesn't light up until he gets to where she is in case she wants one #whipped] Janis: [gives him a saucy 'that good?' look 'cos you know] Jimmy: [lols but is giving her a LOOK cos yes we know it was] Janis: [puts hands out like Oliver for a 🚬 'cos dork] Jimmy: [takes it out of his mouth & puts it in hers, lights it for her cos nice like that] Janis: [takes a drag then kisses him on the cheek] Jimmy: what's that for? Janis: 🚬 Janis: obvs Janis: and you know Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [fake cuffs him on the chin like shut up] Jimmy: [is all like oi & fake fighting her back like a cute nerd] Janis: don't get us kicked out 'fore we're even in, boy Janis: behave Jimmy: I'll screenshot that later when you're begging me not to Jimmy: even if it gets us kicked out Janis: psh Janis: please Jimmy: starting already look Janis: pisstake, you Janis: [walks faster but only a bit don't need that drama already] Jimmy: [pulls her back and kisses her cos he's that extra & hot & they can't kiss on facetime so] Jimmy: I'm what Jimmy: try again Janis: [casually can't breathe like boy] Janis: you're sucha pisstake, babe Jimmy joined the chat 31 hours ago Jimmy: [looks at her like 'excuse you, what' & then goes even harder kissing her again] Janis: [when you gotta stop but you don't wanna stop] Janis: okay, I like it though, you caught me Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [is smirking like] Janis: [nudges] Janis: bighead Jimmy: [nudges her back] Jimmy: you like it too though Jimmy: 😍 you Janis: err not a get out of jail free card to be the biggest dickhead you can be Janis: [is smiling tho] Jimmy: that sounds like a challenge to me, babe Jimmy: [is doing a cheeky grin back] Janis: what doesn't to you, boy Janis: tryna come for my 🥇 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: always saying it, me Janis: are you? 🤔 Janis: hold on think I've got the wrong lad here Jimmy: [kisses her like its a goodbye vibe cos nerd] Jimmy: on you go then Janis: 😖 Janis: but Janis: maybe I wanna stay Jimmy: [gives her a look like 'only maybe?' and a little make out session ensues] Janis: [says definitely 'cos] Jimmy: [says ILY out loud cos] Janis: [druuuuuuuuuunk in love says it back and more smooching you know focus lads] Jimmy: [let them just have some moments of being able to kiss and be alone but like then imagine someone walks past like aaaayyyy! how people do] Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🥊 Janis: weren't me Janis: not a ventriloquist Jimmy: not an idiot Jimmy: I meant beat the shit of him for us Jimmy: you and emojis Janis: risk this face? Janis: yours is already battered so Jimmy: don't you wanna twin with me? Jimmy: gutted 💔 Janis: don't ever use the T word ever again Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: you gonna smack me, girl Janis: don't be a twat Jimmy: how? Jimmy: I am what I am Janis: have to keep training you won't I Janis: [pats his head] Jimmy: good thing I ain't going nowhere then Jimmy: with your track record it'll take ages Jimmy: if ever Janis: actually rude Janis: gonna have her dancing on your grave like a showdog Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: pissing up the stone more like Jimmy: & she could do that now Janis: could she write FUCK U though Janis: I think not Janis: wait and see 👻 boy Jimmy: better hold my breath Jimmy: if you want me 💀 Janis: [puts her hand over his mouth then does that thing where you kiss it] Janis: 💕 rip Jimmy: what am I on about? don't need to do nowt me Jimmy: you kill me Jimmy: you're Janis: [looks at him all smug and smiley] Janis: you too Jimmy: [kisses her on that smug little face] Janis: now Janis: I got 2 plans Janis: depends if you really wanna see bus driver again or if you'd rather walk, promising I won't fuck off later and lose ya Jimmy: if you want me to get on that bus again you better have a fucking good plan Jimmy: for when we are & where we're going Janis: 😂 Janis: not as much hassle as a puppy and a six year old, so bit rude Janis: but we'll go with plan b Janis: keep walking, boyo Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't lemme get as pissed tonight, tah Jimmy: you? nah Jimmy: never have been since I've known you like Janis: funny Janis: should quit school become a full-time 🤡 you Jimmy: I'll get your sister's mates to do my makeup Jimmy: it's alright, pisshead Jimmy: I'll look after you Janis: need that 💰 obvs Jimmy: 🤑 Janis: can't be downgrading Janis: how am I gony pay for my ponies Jimmy: more importantly, how you gonna brag on the 'gram Janis: honestly Janis: keep it fresh and #goals Janis: though can ride the seclusion wave for a bit, I reckon Jimmy: yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: keep getting random bitches coming up to me telling me how 🍀 I am Janis: welcome for the ego boost Jimmy: bit rude that they ain't been since I asked you out Jimmy: sort it out, lasses Janis: 😂 oh soz, sure the fan club meets weekly Janis: dickhead Jimmy: you know you feel it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: [gives her another REALLY good kiss] Janis: 👑 of the club, me, yeah 😏 Janis: could say something nice about me, not telling you how to do your job or nothing but Jimmy: [whispers some nice things about her in her ear & does the lobe thing cos we just gotta] Janis: [😳 emoji] Jimmy: job done? Janis: not even close Janis: [more smooching] Jimmy: so is plan b just this? Jimmy: only asking, not complaining Janis: you wish Janis: keep walking, boy Jimmy: maybe I do, girl Jimmy: [keeps walking though] Janis: later Janis: sleepover, remember Jimmy: won't forget, don't worry Janis: good Janis: didn't buy face masks for nothing, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: keep it #goals Janis: they'd love that 🙄 Janis: so woke of you to drop all that manly man toxic masculinity, like Jimmy: I'll pick it up later when the fans need me to be jealous & fight a lad or whatever it's alright Jimmy: do & have it all, me Janis: is that so Jimmy: you don't reckon? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: just saying Janis: keep being a knobhead and only thing you'll be doing is yourself Janis: [winks and sashshays away] Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: you gonna wingman me at the pub to find a new girl to chat shit to Jimmy: or am I proper on my own to try my luck Janis: not a miracle worker, babe Janis: bore the pants off some bitch in your own time t Jimmy: 👌 got loads while I'm unemployed Janis: 😒 Janis: remember who helped get you fired Jimmy: how could I forget? Jimmy: I hope I get fired for that kinda conduct every time Janis: probably not the rep you want on your CV but Jimmy: 🤞 whatever girl I find tonight ain't too boring Jimmy: 'cause I'm gonna get a new job soon Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: I'm not kissing you Janis: [overacting faux huffy but is also lowkey jealous 'cos always] Jimmy: what are you gonna do then? Jimmy: make a 😒 face 'til we get there? Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 'cause overacting that he ain't bothered] Janis: make a 😒 face all the way home Janis: see where night takes me Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you know where the night's taking you Jimmy: [pulls her into his arms like, 'right here is where'] Janis: ['truce?'] Jimmy: [snuggles & then offers her the 🚬 cos that is a truce mood] Janis: [kissing and passing the 🚬 back and forth 'til it's finished 'cos kinda hot] Jimmy: [#goals actually am I right lads? then handholding cos they gotta keep walking or they'll never get there] Janis: oh fyi though Janis: can't bang me in this pub alright Jimmy: now you tell me Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know Janis: false pretenses much Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: we're not in there yet Jimmy: how long have I got Janis: 😂 shh Jimmy: not an answer that Janis: be 😇 baby Janis: this walk should not take this long as is Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: me too baby me too Janis: maybe in the bathroom if you're quiet Janis: which you never are 😏 Jimmy: which is your fault Janis: not my fault you're so Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: that is your fault Janis: [back at it again] Jimmy: [is loud rn as proof that it's your fault for being the #dream Janis] Janis: how are we ever gonna get anything done Janis: so distracting Jimmy: I don't wanna do anything else Jimmy: I don't care Janis: yeah Janis: feel it Janis: do you reckon those old couples that you think are dead boring 'cos they just stay in all the time are just like fucking 24/7 Janis: maybe that's the truth Jimmy: let me know when it's you & Pete 💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: if I can find the time Jimmy: yeah don't call me while he's still going at you Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 💔 or 🤤 Janis: 👀 you, perv Jimmy: 😂 Janis: so like you Janis: after all this time just to steal my man Jimmy: I reckoned you were gonna say how like me not to answer Janis: I mean, valid Janis: but your thirst for pete doesn't need to be explained Janis: so blatant Jimmy: don't say thirst when I met him at the CG Janis: mhmm, there's a fanfic title in there somewhere Janis: been easier to fake date him to put the girls off but the 💕 was too real Jimmy: why didn't I think of that? Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻 Jimmy: girl you gotta go, soz Jimmy: in my way Janis: 🥊 you for him duh Janis: or you want me to let you win again? 😉 Jimmy: if it means I get Pete Jimmy: go on Janis: no Janis: down to stand in the way of true love soz not soz Jimmy: like I said, nightmare you Janis: your worst, babe Jimmy: gotta be 🥇 always Jimmy: I get it Janis: mhmm Janis: just getting over how mad I am at Grace for popping out 1st Janis: if you wanna be my therapist about it Jimmy: how much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: tell me something I DON'T know already and I might give you something Jimmy: about you? Janis: that's what therapy is Janis: not a pub quiz 🤓 Jimmy: you're so in touch with yourself though Jimmy: don't reckon I can Janis: that's why I don't go motherfuckers Janis: no life-fixing realizations no dough Jimmy: just no cash my end Jimmy: gotta stay a mess Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 Janis: selfishly works for me Janis: don't go spending that first new paycheck on sorting your life alright Jimmy: alright Janis: stay fucked with me for a while Jimmy: [promises out loud cos always a thing now] Janis: [skip them there 'cos honestly] Jimmy: what you drinking then, lightweight? Janis: that thing we had first time Janis: forgot the name, not already pissed Jimmy: 👌 hang on Jimmy: [goes to get 'em] Janis: [checking out the booty also checking Fearghal won't embarrass her lmao] Jimmy: stop staring at me Jimmy: I can feel it Janis: but you 👌 Jimmy: am I okay or I look okay what are you chatting? Janis: 😂 Janis: you look it Janis: but I meant more than okay 'fore you get pouty Jimmy: how good did you mean Janis: got caught staring didn't I? Jimmy: 'bout the 🍺 that though Janis: 💉💉 need my fix Janis: you stupid, good thing you cute too Jimmy: should I have dropped 💊 in it Jimmy: soz Janis: 🤔 reckon you ain't meant to let the girl in on that, babe Jimmy: that's what I've been doing wrong Jimmy: tah babe Janis: keep it between you and the barman, like #ladsladslads Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's giving me the eye too Jimmy: where you brought me, girl? Janis: 😂 you mean you aren't used to it, with your mass-appeal? Jimmy: I didn't say I weren't about it Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: [is lowkey trying to not actually lol at the table] Jimmy: [brings the drinks over & kisses her on the cheek like she did to him earlier] Janis: [wipes it away like a child 'cos you know granddad be looking lmao] Janis: gimme gimme Jimmy was timed out 10 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 10 hours ago Jimmy: [looks at as if to say 'bit rude' cos she wiped the kiss away but doesn't say anything actually] Jimmy: just don't down this one, like Janis: 👍 alright, dad Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you told me not to let you get as drunk Janis: [footsie] Janis: you cute Jimmy: you Janis: when's your next interview then Jimmy: week away Janis: you'll get that one Jimmy: I gotta Janis: your da losing his shit yeah Janis: [touches his lip] Jimmy: [nods but then shrugs cos can't show how much you give a shit even though she knows how soft you are] Janis: ['prick' in reference to Ian obvs and dranks her drank letting him be quiet for a bit] Jimmy: [clinks his glass against hers cos he agrees & then likewise just having a little drink moment] Janis: and don't lie, you're missing making all those specific as fuck orders for all the basics Jimmy: busted Jimmy: you got me, girl Jimmy: 💔 bout the lack of frappes in my life right now me Janis: knew it Janis: can make me one if you like Janis: bit of roleplaying Jimmy: #truelove Janis: keeping the romance alive 'fore you really have to seek Mia out Janis: more chance of me drinking the shit we all see you, babe Jimmy: it'd be a way to get rid of her when I touch her & she crumbles to dust but Janis: know you're down to take that bullet for us all but no tah Janis: can't have her dying happy Jimmy: she'd only die happy if you took that honor for the team, babe Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [is loling so Indie can walk in like WHAT YOU LAUGHING BOUT] Jimmy: [& he's heart eyes cos she so cute when she's happy so Indie would also notice that like] Jimmy: [also we need to take a moment to appreciate how fucking good Indie would look cos would've come on a proper motorbike now she's old enough & has that same Janis style mood & is happy cos Drew not about & she's more grown etc so it'd be a mood & Jimmy would totally think she was fit] Janis: [after they've chatted for a bit 'cos don't outstay your welcome babe] Jimmy: [okay but imagine Jimmy actually chatting to Indie and Janis is like !!?? cos he's an antisocial sod who don't like nobody] Janis: ooh Janis: social 🦋 Janis: decided the tat for you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: you know Janis: so chatty Janis: can't take you anywhere 😏 Jimmy: she's your mate Jimmy: not gonna be a dickhead Janis: Suuuure Jimmy: [kicks her playfully cos she did footsie before] Jimmy: shut up Janis: see, don't wanna chat to me Janis: see myself out Janis: [kicks back also playful obvs] Jimmy: see yourself to the bar & get us more drinks Janis: such a charmer how could I refuse? Janis: [gets up] Janis: btw tho, can't ask her out or your breaking girl code, soz Jimmy: [blows her a kiss once she's up cos he's silly] Jimmy: I'm a lad, can do what I like 👌 Janis: [does fake daggers from the bar] Janis: nope Janis: she's basically my sister, not being grace about it Jimmy: It ain't my fault you've got loads of hot sisters Janis: 🖕 Janis: too bad you fucked up Janis: don't get to go for the set Jimmy: she can tell me I can't Jimmy: or that lad she's with could try Jimmy: maybe Janis: not gonna be a dickhead he says Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: to her Jimmy: you love it Janis: 😑 Janis: do I Jimmy: [gets up, walks over to her & kisses her cos yeah you do babe so excuse me granddad] Janis: [dies of 😳] Janis: you wanna be wearing this drink instead, like Jimmy: do you wanna get me out of these clothes Jimmy: 'cause you can just ask Jimmy: keep the 🍺 for drinking Janis: shut up Janis: god Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [back with the drinks] Janis: you're just Jimmy: [is just looking at her with an eyebrow raised like what? cos he ain't gonna reply cos she said shh & he's a nerd] Janis: you're testing me boy Janis: drink your drink Jimmy: [takes a sassy sip] Janis: Iggy said Bobby's welcome back any time, btw Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits Janis: think he had a good time, yeah? Jimmy: he ain't shut up about it Janis: awh Janis: takes after you Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm doing my best horny mute impression right now for you Janis: had noticed Janis: just savouring the moment Janis: [hehehe lizard] Jimmy: go on Jimmy: [drinks] Janis: [lets it continue for a bit] Janis: k miss you now Jimmy: okay, do something about it Janis: [kisses 'cos happened now hasn't it] Jimmy: so you love me again Jimmy: now what? Janis: you love me again Janis: then maybe 🚬 'cos they're being annoying Jimmy: [kisses her again much to Indie's delight] Janis: [drags him outside which doesn't look suspect at all lol k] Janis: soz Janis: she's a lot Jimmy: Grace is a lot Jimmy: she's Jimmy: 😎 Janis: [😒] Jimmy: what's that face for? Jimmy: I'm saying don't worry about it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: she's alright, like Janis: you gonna light up or nah Jimmy: you gonna be nice or nah Jimmy: [but does] Janis: [does shh finger to lips and takes it] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: you wanted me to shut up, then nah, now you do again Jimmy: bit rude Janis: told you was keeping it fresh Janis: [holds 🚬 out] Jimmy: [let them pass it between them for a bit] Janis: maybe we'll go somewhere else Jimmy: she's getting to you that much Jimmy: we can stay out here, you know Janis: nah it's just Janis: it don't matter Jimmy: if it does matter Jimmy: you can say it to me Janis: you'll reckon it's stupid and I already know it is Jimmy: [puts his arms around her cos love while shaking his head] Janis: it's just Janis: people reckoning they know me all the time Janis: gets on my nerves Jimmy: but you said she's basically your sister, yeah Jimmy: don't she know you a bit Jimmy: ? Janis: what's that count for Janis: grace is my actual sister and she don't know me fuck all Jimmy: but Grace is a one off in the opposite way that you're a one off, babe Janis: [shakes her head] Janis: nah Jimmy: none of 'em know you then Jimmy: that's what you're saying Janis: yeah Janis: you think your dad knows you? Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I don't want him to know me Janis: exactly Jimmy: you wanna go? Janis: dunno Janis: just give me a sec Jimmy: alright Janis: you go in Jimmy: but Jimmy: you're coming back Janis: I'm not gonna just fuck off Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [goes in] Janis: [has moment outside Jimmy: [is playing pool with Indie cos she would've asked him when he's standing around like a spare part] Janis: [comes back in like she's unphased now even though obvs not an issue we're resolving today is it lads, makes herself busy and gets drinks and goes loo etc] Jimmy: come take my shot Jimmy: she's beating me Janis: 👌 Janis: [does so lowkey buzzin he's not forgotten about her like oh girl] Jimmy: keep it 🥇 babe Jimmy: it's your fault I'm 🥈 right now Jimmy: distracting me by walking in like that Janis: we can pretend that's what it was, babe Janis: show me up too if not 😉 Jimmy: I'm pretending nowt Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: bit rude of you to look so fucking Janis: now who's being distracting Janis: tryna line up my shot here Janis: ['cos that is hot] Jimmy: falling on the sword ready for when you fuck it up Jimmy: #truelove Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you wish any girl here was making your efforts look better baby 💕 Jimmy: you wish I needed that Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Janis: 👑🍀 me Jimmy: prove it Janis: [duh] Jimmy: [is actually 😍😍😍 now cos looking hot & being impressive] Janis: [does bow 'cos nerd] Jimmy: [gestures that he wants her to take the next one as well cos loving it] Janis: know you gotta at least put my name on the 🏆 now too, right? Jimmy: you know that anyone can have 1 🍀 shot Jimmy: impress me first Janis: babe my 🍀y days were over when I met you, running on pure 💪 now Janis: [makes shot] Jimmy: [gives her a really hot kiss cos that says it all] Janis: you really like winning, yeah? Jimmy: I really like you Janis: feeling's mutual Janis: [kisses back 'cos soz fam deal] Jimmy: [takes & makes his shot easy cos feels great lbr] Janis: [does golf 👏 but actually like go baby] Jimmy: alright nerd Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: [but is really happy obvs] Janis: make me, dork Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: not when I can get you worked up instead Janis: okay, you aren't THAT good at pool, babe 😂 Jimmy: pool's nearly done with Jimmy: I ain't started with you yet though Janis: Jimmy Janis: [can't meet eyes 'cos distracted af help] Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: [cos we know what saying her name does] Janis: when Janis: where Jimmy: gimme a sec to beat your fake sister at pool Jimmy: but then Jimmy: anywhere Janis: if I really must Jimmy: think about where you're gonna take me Jimmy: have a plan Janis: okay Janis: kinda hard to think now but Jimmy: [finishes up the game but is giving her SO MANY sexy and lingering looks like damn] Jimmy: now Jimmy: where Janis: [outside somehwere idk does not matter as long as relatively secluded lol they've done worse] Janis: here Janis: here is fine Jimmy: here is perfect Janis: ['you'] Jimmy: [says it back how they do & then the most glorious of long kisses] Janis: sorr I was weird earlier Jimmy: you weren't Janis: bit Janis: but you didn't let me ruin it Jimmy: you're always a bit Jimmy: & I ain't ever letting you ruin nowt Jimmy: sorry if I was a massive dickhead Janis: you weren't Janis: seriously Janis: [more smooching] Jimmy: bit but Janis: i love it Jimmy: I love you Janis: that's never gonna not get me Jimmy: good Jimmy: I want it to feel like Jimmy: [hot & heavy make out session] Janis: good Janis: 'cos it feels exactly like Janis: [more] Jimmy: I just really want it to feel like Jimmy: [gets on his knees in the outdoors we all know why but boy HOW EXTRA like you just gonna do this here okay] Janis: fucking hell you're really gonna Janis: fuck Jimmy: [is gonna be that bitch & does] Janis: How does it feel better than the last time even I Jimmy: 'cause I want you even more than last time Jimmy: how do you Janis: this is all you, babe Janis: making me feel so Jimmy: you feel Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're just Janis: it's for you Janis: you've looked so good all evening it's so hard to stop myself Jimmy: don't stop Jimmy: I don't ever want you to Jimmy: [likewise doesn't stop what he's doing & is v dedicated rn] Janis: [you know it's getting loud] Janis: had to, remember I told you you couldn't fuck me in that pub Jimmy: 💔 that Jimmy: I've wanted to do this since you showed up by my house Janis: I can really fucking tell Jimmy: [goes harder just because] Janis: please don't stop Janis: ever Jimmy: [doesn't & actually keeps stepping it up cos there's the unspoken promise babe] Janis: [saying his name so much] Janis: don't care if people can hear Jimmy: [being loud his damn self cos hot] Janis: you like eating my pussy out, don't you? Janis: best boyfriend ever Jimmy: [says his yeahs & how much he does out loud cos honestly highkey about all of it] Janis: I wanna cum for you again Janis: lost track of how many times I've came for you today Jimmy: [does all his best moves to make her] Janis: baby? Jimmy: ? Janis: can I have a picture of you from this angle too? Janis: you look Jimmy: you don't need to ask Jimmy: take as many as you want Janis: [does 'cos damn] Jimmy: can you cum for me at least once more when I fuck you up against this wall until I cum inside you or are you gonna have to try & fake it? Janis: [the noise she makes] Janis: you know nothing about us is fake Janis: I want that so bad Janis: do it Jimmy: I want you so bad Jimmy: [does because doesn't even need to be told at this point] Janis: [puts hands flat on wall so her backs to him and her face is pressed against the bricks] Janis: hold my hands there so I can't stop Jimmy: [the noise he makes but obviously will] Janis: I really fucking love you Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & I Janis: I know Jimmy: [is just saying her name so much now oh how the tables have been flipped] Janis: I'm all yours, Jimmy, yours, fuck me right here Jimmy: [go off kids live your best life] Jimmy: keep being mine, okay Janis: I will, I am Janis: I mean it Janis: only you Jimmy: [is dying because who has ever been here for him this hard NOBODY BITCH] Janis: Oh God oh God, baby Jimmy: shit Jimmy: plan b was the best plan Janis: no chance of doing this in town Janis: or getting me to be so loud for you Jimmy: that's why I'd go anywhere with you Jimmy: this is Jimmy: you're Janis: I don't care where we are or what we're doing as long as you're there Janis: though obviously this is my favourite thing to do Jimmy: I'm gonna be there Jimmy: I have to Jimmy: I can't leave you Jimmy: won't fucking do it Janis: [turns her head to kiss him 'cos dead] Janis: I need you Jimmy: [kissing her back hardcore cos feelings bitch & also it just feels really epic so] Jimmy: I need you too Jimmy: I really fucking need you Janis: you've got me Janis: fill me up with your cum and see exactly how you've got me Jimmy: [amazing responses and sounds there 'cause damn, sorry anyone if you can hear any of this right now] Janis: You sound so hot, everyone must be so fucking jealous right now Jimmy: you do Jimmy: & they are Janis: I Janis: I can't get enough of you, ever Jimmy: baby I Jimmy: you're gonna make me Janis: [pushes back harder against his thrusts] Janis: I want it, baby Janis: I want your cum inside my pussy so bad Jimmy: say it Janis: [does, no pretending you didn't hear that passersby] Jimmy: [well that's the end of him 'cause how fucking goals do you wanna be good day] Janis: [turns 'round fully to give him a proper kiss] Jimmy: [hold him up girl he needs a moment after all that] Janis: [as soft as you can be standing against a wall in public] Jimmy: [stop 🚬 so much boy] Janis: [finds somewhere comfortable to sit him down and sit on his lap 'cos standard, arms around his neck and all the little kisses] Janis: you're the best Jimmy: you though Jimmy: I mean it Janis: I know Janis: I do too Jimmy: [snuggles & gentle kisses & hair loving upon for a bit cos soft mood] Janis: are you even real Janis: how do I get to Janis: with you Jimmy: well I ain't fake Jimmy: but I don't know Jimmy: we just Janis: just Janis: yeah Janis: [smiles] Jimmy: [takes a 📷 of her 'cause he can't even with how she looks right now or ever] Jimmy: look how beautiful you are Jimmy: bit rude to be honest Janis: you're just a very good photographer Janis: I think Jimmy: it's only 'cause I got a decent muse & subject Jimmy: look again Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [tells her how beautiful she is again, out loud this time with kisses in between each word like] Janis: you're making me weak for you again already Janis: give yourself the break, babe Jimmy: I don't want a break from you Jimmy: not again Janis: ['I promise'] Jimmy: [more soft kisses damn this boy gonna cry if he don't calm down] Janis: You're all for me, right? Jimmy: [nods & is 😍] Janis: Mine Janis: My baby Janis: [posessive smooching] Jimmy: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: you know Janis: you better not Janis: no one else can do what I can Jimmy: whatever any other girl is or has Jimmy: you are & do Jimmy: but more Jimmy: I knew that before I knew you Jimmy: it's why I noticed you Janis: [hiding in his chest 'cos overwhelmed] Jimmy: I wanted to see if it was real Jimmy: & it is Janis: [whispers 'I love you'] Jimmy: nobody sees this bit of you, do they Janis: [shakes her head] Jimmy: it keeps me together though Jimmy: which is weird 'cause it's the bit that's gentle & whispers & 😳 but Jimmy: I don't know, it's the strongest bit maybe Jimmy: I forgot I had it Janis: me too Janis: if you'd have asked me, I'd have thought I'd have hated you for it Janis: making me remember Janis: but I don't, I just love you so much Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I didn't want it Jimmy: sometimes I still don't want it in there Janis: yeah Janis: it's Janis: hard Janis: especially with other people around Jimmy: it just really fucking hurts being Jimmy: sometimes Jimmy: knowing things & not knowing things Janis: yeah Janis: having no way of asking Jimmy: can we even still get what we want if there's no Jimmy: it feels like only pieces of things Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but then you're here & everything Jimmy: so I don't know Jimmy: was I just looking in the wrong fucking place or Janis: I don't know either Janis: but this Janis: us Janis: feels better than nothing Janis: that I do know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: me too Janis: so can it be enough Janis: for now Jimmy: tell me we can get away from here Jimmy: all this shit Jimmy: & that's enough for ever Janis: we will Janis: we have to Jimmy: this right now Jimmy: that's more of an escape than I reckoned I'd get Jimmy: til 18 anyway Janis: I never did it properly Janis: leaving Janis: but now Janis: I do with you Janis: you're escape Jimmy: whatever else happens, I'll always give you that, alright Janis: alright Jimmy: there's so much I don't know how to say Jimmy: or if I should Jimmy: about before Janis: same so Janis: only if and when we want to Janis: not 'cos we have to or 'cos someone else says it or Janis: our rules Jimmy: [agrees out loud] Jimmy: Ian's a fucking bellend but he has a point about trying to move the fuck on, I suppose Jimmy: I don't want that shit to define me, I never asked for that Jimmy: for them to do it to me & make it all anyone knows about me Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I'm just Jimmy: It's like you said earlier about people reckoning they know you Jimmy: thinking about that Janis: That's like Janis: exactly what I meant Janis: you know ME better for not knowing that shit Janis: it just ruins everything Jimmy: I'm happy I know you Jimmy: give a shit about that bollocks Jimmy: getting in the way Janis: then that's all that matters Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it don't even matter that we're too sober for chatting like this Janis: I wont tell if you don't Jimmy: who would I? the 🐶 Janis: maybe Janis: she will bite your face off if you try and brag about what we just did though Jimmy: maybe she'd like me if I told her your secrets though the gossipy bitch Janis: 😱 turn her against me Jimmy: can I brag to Pete about my part of what we just did though? Jimmy: I really miss my man Janis: awh 💔 Janis: 'course Jimmy: I'll leave your name out Jimmy: Juliet who Janis: you would you sneaky bitch Janis: want all the glory Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: race you to CG to 💪 Jimmy: he don't live there, babe Jimmy: only the baby I abandoned in the back Jimmy: check his feed find out where he really is Janis: yes he does Janis: like teachers Jimmy: don't remind me of school Jimmy: i'm just gonna fuck you all day, alright Janis: please Janis: or I'll have to leave at lunch time Janis: not doing double maths Jimmy: soz if you get sore but less painful than the headache of sitting there learning that shit Janis: 🤤 I don't mind Janis: do what you gotta do Jimmy: don't say that & look at me like that Jimmy: fuck Janis: you know I mean it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I'll 💀💀💀 Janis: don't worry Janis: save it for Monday Janis: day of rest tomorrow 😴 Jimmy: at mine or yours? Janis: where do you wanna be Janis: I mean, lesser of two evils, doesn't really matter to me so Jimmy: do you need 🐶💕 more or less than you need Ian knocking about? Janis: less than I want him knocking you about, obvs Janis: I should probably keep my distance for a bit Jimmy: we'll stay at yours then Janis: if you wanna be back a decent time I can wake you Janis: should go for a run anyways Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: but Janis: surely he has sundays off anyway, right Jimmy: the only time basically Janis: not like you need bonding time Janis: so maybe Janis: stay Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you gonna make me go for a run with you if I do Janis: you think you can keep up? Janis: cute 😉 Jimmy: girl come on 💪🏆 Janis: okay then Janis: I am gonna make you Jimmy: challenge accepted, babe Janis: definitely an early night for you then, boy Jimmy: you better mean sleeping Jimmy: trying to tire me out before the run Jimmy: bit sneaky Janis: 😇 Janis: sleep on the sofa if you're that concerned Jimmy: no Janis: didn't think so Jimmy: mentally trying to psyche me out too, I get it Jimmy: but I'll sleep better with you Jimmy: so if you're gonna train me you gotta let me Janis: [so cute dies] Janis: okay Janis: see the logic Jimmy: 👍 Janis: do you wanna keep going though or go home or what forreal Jimmy: do you? Janis: you can't 'do you' when I gave you options Jimmy: why Jimmy: you know what I'm on about Janis: 'cos I wanna know what you wanna do Janis: why I asked you first Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what time are you waking me up? Janis: not that early Janis: 6 Janis: maybe 7 Jimmy: let's go back in for a bit then Janis: 👍

Hi, I sent the original ask about a Celibate Rey ending, I don't know what discourse came out of it, I didn't see it, but I wanted to clear the air. I didn't mean to come off dismissive of female romance/sexuality or of your ship in my ask. I understand it can be exhausting to defend your perspective over and over to people who don't want to listen, so I totally get if you thought I was baiting, though. I'm sorry for the trouble or stress this caused you.

Not asking to troll or continue the discourse, but if you don’t want to continue discussing this topic please delete this. But how can you see a valid Celibate-Rey endgame going? If IX were to end with Rey on her own and to some degree happy (Since this is Star Wars, the ending has to be at least slightly happy or hopeful) what kind of an ending would it be? If Kylo dies or survives, either/or.

Hey, no problem at all, and sorry for my snappish answer (hopefully you realized I was being part tongue-in-cheek, though). Admittedly the “better off alone/celibate” argument is something that cyclically resurfaces in other ships of mine, particularly Jaime/Brienne, which made me skittish on the whole thing, particularly when it’s tied to *female agency* buzzwords and the assumption that it’s the shippers who are arbitrarily trying to force a romance on the character, rather than it being part of the character’s canon narrative (not necessarily your case, but it’s such a popular argument against the J/B ship that I’ve developed particularly nasty anticorps for it)

So re: Celibate Jedi!Rey—

Is it a technically possible endgame for her? Totally.

Is it something I would personally be okay with and find satisfying? Well, yes, if:

a) it acknowledges and gives closure to Rey’s feelings for Ben, and viceversa. This includes admitting a degree of bittersweet in the happily ever after final picture.

Just considering the force bond alone without its romantic implications, Rey and Kylo, just the two of them, are connected on a deep intimate level. This is kind of a big deal, especially for Rey, whose familial bonds were suddenly and irrevocably severed when she was little, after which she was left completely alone with no chance to find her way back to her parents (ironically, now she has a magical tracking device in her head that allows her to communicate with another person even across galaxies. From completely alone, to never completely alone even in her own head. Big deal, indeed). 

Even if the bond is broken (because Kylo dies, or else) and no overtly romantic stuff happens between them, it will still leave a mark on Rey, an empty spot where something magical used to be that can only be partially filled with familial or “muggle” love and the purpose of a “lone” Jedi path. That she would bury Kylo (or watch him leave never to return) and immediately go to join the Resistance’s party original trilogy style as if nothing sad just happened doesn’t make a lot sense to me. In fact, it would infuriate me, as I hate when characters are written as if they had some emotion switch hidden somewhere that makes them go from sad to cheerful in the blink of an eye (and tbh TLJ, for all I liked it, already went dangerously close to that, with Rey’s jarring post-proposal cheerfulness on the Falcon during the whole Crait sequence, imo). 

So if they want to go that route, they need to be ready to tinge their happy ending with a little melancholy, otherwise I won’t find it realistic at all. This especially if Kylo dies, but also if he leaves or they are separated for whatever reason. (if Kylo lives, and redeems himself, and stays, I don’t see any reason why he and Rey should not be together, tbh. I mean it’s not like there’s still a Jedi order around dictating what Rey is or isn’t allowed to do. Like Palpatine was the Senate, she is the Jedi Order now, she can make new rules, lmao)

b) it avoids attaching moralistic implications to this choice (?) of celibacy (”that’s what I’m really meant for”, or “that’s how I’ll live my life to the fullest and be truly happy”, etc).

The figure of the Jedi in SW is, at the end of the day, a caregiver. A magical warrior/monk who essentially devotes their life to other people, denying any sort of personal ambition of satisfaction for himself (self-drive is closer to the Sith way). While the extent of this self-abnegation can be reframed and repackaged in a more “progressive” light (say Rey rebuilds a Jedi order with different rules, or just chooses a different way to be a Jedi, see above), the essence of caregiving and selflessness will probably remain untouched. It’s really funny to me that the people who want this endgame for Rey are the same one who get their panties in a twist at the thought of Rey being “reduced to an emotional caregiver” for Ben (paraphrasing some anti post I’ve read recently). The point is, Celibate!Jedi Rey wouldn’t be simply choosing friendship/family/a career over romance, she’d actually sacrifice her individual (in this case, romantic/sexual) desires in order to become a caregiver for an entire community. And this isn’t something I’d consider an especially subversive or /empowering/ endgame for a female character, quite the opposite, actually. The subtext here needs to be handed carefully, particularly if her endgame involves rebuilding some sort of Jedi school for gifted children: the risk of elevating her to a self-sacrificial virgin mother archetype would be pretty high. It can be done, and it can imply Rey will find happiness in this life, but without any sort of hamfisted *inspirational moral message for little girls*, if you know what I mean.

c) it doesn’t frame Rey’s choice not to be with Kylo specifically (if it is indeed a choice on her part and not something dictated by external forces, aka Kylo’s death or the Willabeth endgame, more on that later) in a moral(istic) perspective.

no “I can’t be with you because you have been mean to people, ewww” bullshit, thank you very much. This sounds like the ultimate anti wet dream, Rey rejecting Kylo because he’s awful, and I think we’re WAAAYYYY past it with all that happened in TLJ.

I hope this clarifies things a bit!

Another anon asked me to explain what I meant with the Willabeth endgame, and:

in POTC III Will Turner kills Davy Jones, so he has to take his place as the captain of the Flying Dutchman, which is a curse for life. He and Elizabeth (who are now married) spend a last day together on an island (during which it’s implied they fuck like rabbits and conceive a child, lmao), and then, at sunset, Will says goodbye, leaving the box containing his heart to Elizabeth, to whom he says, “will you keep it safe for me?”. It’s heartbreaking and a bit sadistic tbh but also incredibly romantic.

How does this apply to Reylo?

Well, Kylo could be 

sentenced to lifelong exile on a remote planet, or 

imprisoned for life, or 

going on exile on his own will, or 

leaving to form a new order of darksiders (or something) as he feels he has no place among the Good Guys and has Redeemed Himself But Not Really, or 

sentenced to death and then promptly freed by Rey, who urges him to leave never to return, for his own safety, or

in general, literally or metaphorically cursed to live an existence separated from Rey as a form of atonement alternative to death;

and Rey obviously can’t follow him, because she can’t and won’t abandon her place among the Resistance, and they both know this, but it doesn’t stop them for wanting each other and swearing they will wait for each other forever, cue pants-dropping emotional final goodbye scene which, while offering complete closure, leaves the possibility of a future reunion entirely possible.

Why do I think it’s a valid scenario?

it’s a good compromise between endgame Reylo and Celibate!Jedi Rey;

Kylo gets to Suffer ™, as y’all hope for;

an unwritten but very common and wise rule of storytelling (whether or not you agree with it) is that a couple who can’t be together NOW is more interesting than a couple who is Just Together and chillin’ on the sofa or something, so this endgame leaves things open enough to be further explored in hypothetical tie-in canon material (comics, novels, tv adaptations, maybe even a standalone Episode IX-bis in five or six years from now, WHO THE HELL KNOWS?);

the fanfictions would SKYROCKET; 

the force bond, if it still exists at that point, would be an INCREDIBLY convenient plot device;

Reylo Sex Island

end