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badchoicesworld · 9 months

Note

hi again, i’m the guy who requested hobie x trans vigilante reader and i LOVED IT. the details felt so true to his character and all in all it was an amazing read. you’re definitely one of, if not my favorite spiderverse writer. (btw, your spidersona sounds very interesting.) so, as expected, i have another request for you!

if you’d like, will you do a hobie x masc reader where they’re in bands? of course, hobie would be a part of a punk group, but maybe reader is in a metal one? they keep running into each other at shows and people think they might not get along, but they instantly get comfortable around each other. it’d be cute if they wore the other’s merch and showed up to some gigs. thank you :)

hobie’s punk, you’re metal (band edition)

hobie brown x masc!reader

EYYYYYYY ANON

had me gripping my knee, tucking hair behind my ear and kicking my feet fr ily tysm - if you’re planning to keep coming back (more than welcome <3) feel free to give me some kinda name to call you ! claim an emoji if you’d like or give me some kinda alias if you’d like, or remain anon, completely up to you !!

anyway such a slay idea thank you so much !

i’m gonna have to be a little brief w details cause i know hobie’s band is completely different in the comics and i have no fuckin clue what’s going on w this hobie’s band, no clue if gwen’s the drummer or what so mans being BRIEF but as far as i’m aware hobie does all of his gigs as “spider-punk” so secret identity still stands. i’m not gonna call him that cause he doesn’t like the name, but you know what i’m tryna insinuate

i’m a guy who can listen to all types of music so i enjoyed indulging in punk and metal music to get a better feel for this, so thank you !

i tried to do research into style, music and history so i hope this is half decent lmao

also wanna stress that i know there’s a shit ton of political stuff when it comes to punk and metal scenes, i ain’t touching it and i want none of you to ask me about it

warnings: none

pairing: hobie brown x masc!reader

requests: OPEN actually begging for them im stuck in a car tomorrow

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

AIGHT ! so you twos both belong to bands that are pretty prominent in london, and if someone doesn’t know one then they’ll eventually learn about the other

you both like to perform at these smaller gigs instead of going mainstream, and it results in you two bumping shoulders every now and again

now, it’s impossible to miss hobie since he’s dressed as a punk spider-man

the same can apply to you if you choose to also have a secret identity lmao

but it’s on sight

it’s a common thing for people to think that punk and metal fans are like cats and dogs (an expression, animals are lovely.) for some fuckin reason

so naturally, both of your fans had always speculated the day that you crossed paths

what would you do ? fist fight ? poke hobie’s eyes out w the 🤘 gesture ? dear god will hobie swing his guitar at you ?!?!

no lmao

it’s like two old friends meeting, you guys have definitely heard of each other before but not yet met, so you’re both pretty psyched to see each other in the flesh !

it’s more like a “Ayy! my guy!” kinda thing instead of typical london stabbing

friendly hug, accidentally get impaled on a spike, that kinda thing

if your fans are sane they’re just kinda like “oh dope lmao” instead of “NOOOOOOOO” because who tf would

instead, opens doors to unlimited possibilities

friendly rivalry ? i think so

depending on what you play/your role in the band, you can get competitive for funsies

if you’re both guitarists you’ve got this ongoing joke about who’s the better one, shows are dope whenever you two are competing cause you go above and beyond for the sake of bragging rights

you win, metal takes a lot more out of a man (from the research i’ve done metal takes more “skill” in a literal sense, way more going on w the cords, correct me if i’m wrong)

hobie insists there are no losers, of course (he doesn’t believe in losing)

hella friendly banter, nudges, cutely whiplashing each other w water at shows whenever you spot the other in a crowd while they’re performing

collaboration ? possibly, imagine that shit

speculation of you two dating ? no because hobie doesn’t like labels

i’m gonna let u decide if hobie is the typa guy to kiss whoever else is on stage w him

back to secret identities for a little- aight so we all know hobie’s identity is a secret because he’s this spider-lad saving london, a conversation starter fr

in the events that you bring it up, he’ll probably just brush it off and tell you to focus on your scene, not in a mean condescending way but because he’d rather talk about music together since it’s his passion

depending on where your guys’ relationship goes determined if he’d reveal his secret identity to you or not, same applies to you if you have a secret identity

but i’ll leave that up to you

back to the gigs ! if you two ever spot each other in the crowds, it’s on sight

wether you recognise each other as your alter egos or secret identities, you will be either drowned by the end of the gig or mercilessly stared at

don’t think hobie would bring people up on stage unless you’re both performing, it can be a super awkward thing, other people might be uncomfortable and also favouritism aint his thing

wear each others merch, see what happens

you don’t have a secret identity and you wear it casually ? will likely catch the eyes of the media and words will spread

i cant actually imagine hobie having official merch, i think he’d like it more if his fans just made things so there’s not that whole “poser” stuff i’ve been seeing (again if i’m wrong and band shirts have significance other than sentimental value let me know)

punk is about diy, so he’d love his fans all the more if the “merch” he had was super unique diy stuff all hand made by his fans :]

so hobie either makes you merch, or you make your own ! he’ll probably make his own merch of you band, too

absolutely wears it to gigs, why wouldn’t he ? how fuckin punk is that ammarite

trade guitar picks, do it

you’re both real comfortable around each other, it’s an honest treat to cross paths whenever you’re both at a gig and if you guys become friends outside of it, that’s all the better

slaps stickers on your instruments case while walking by you, they have accumulated overtime

a lot of friendly call outs at the start or throughout shows, shit like “this one goes out to y/n, he ate my fuckin sandwich” before playing or probably banter along the lines of “refund his show and come to mine instead, it just makes sense” if your shows aren’t free

i expect you to do the same

you are each others worse nightmare

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

#across the spiderverse #headcanon #imagine #male reader #oneshot #spider man: across the spider verse #ask #hobie brown x male reader #hobie x reader #hobie brown #spider punk #hobie brown x masc!reader

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buoyant-breeze · 2 years

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when they are angry hcs

authors note ⊱ THESE ARENT DIRECTED @ READER BTW! so if ur like me and have trauma w people being aggressive or raising their voices or smth,,, fear not. this is not directed at their s/o or reader specifically!! INSTEAD, imagine comforting them when theyre angry and they just melt into ur arms a little ok??? ok awesome

characters ⊱ albedo, diluc, childe, kaeya

warnings ⊱ anger? i guess?

rating ⊱ sfw

diluc

he’s very slow to anger, and his expression is indecipherable enough that no one truly notices unless you know him: his fists clench a little tighter, his tone becomes a hint more clipped than usual, his eyebrows knit together into a harsh, intimidating line

mostly just gets frustrated and starts pacing, letting out very aggressive, deep sighs to try and calm himself (and only riling himself up again immediately after)

doesn’t pick fights, usually just walks away from situations or people that get him too worked up

however, if a person is committing an action that is entire immoral, or is a threat to those around them, or, it is directed at one of diluc’s loved ones, any sense of chivalry is gone

he’s on them like a wild animal, sneering through his teeth, and he doesn’t care about consequences

albedo

he isolates himself, becoming a little bitter about the situation, but keeping an air of mystery on how he feels if the perpetrator ever tried to confront him personally; he likes to pretend these things don’t get under his skin

has a distinctly less amount of patience than usual, however

might act a little colder if someone runs that very little patience too thin, to the point he could possibly even snap out or say something cruel

would mostly just prefer to be alone with his emotions at this time

lets out a lot of exasperated sighs if he thinks about it too much or if someone is pushing his buttons

childe

the most wrathful out of everyone here

lets out a lot of bitter, hollow laughs whenever he thinks about it

gets super tense, to the point he needs to work it out of his system, usually through some form of training, exercise, or battle; it gives him too much adrenaline and he’ll become very pent up and frustrated if it is left idle

might let out a growl through gritted teeth every now and then

clenches up his fists a lot and rolls his shoulders back, always with a very harsh grin and narrowed eyes

would definitely rile up anyone he doesn’t like when he’s angry, just to pick a fight or get his blood going

kaeya

if it’s with a person, he likes to just privately garner information about them, observing how they are feeling, and then basically picking apart their psyche in his head and laughing about it to himself while sipping some alcohol

he just thinks they’re sad and pathetic, really, and he revels in it

if it’s in battle, he gets a snarky grin and a wild look in his eyes, biting responses through harsh teeth and sneers

if it’s with a situation, or a set of circumstances, he just gets frustrated and annoyed, sneering a lot and having a disgruntled, revolted look on his face as he begrudgingly deals with it

his patience becomes a little thinner and he gets a little itchy with the sudden heat under his skin

most of the time he finds his anger to be funny, at first, like the person who’s poking at him is just a form of entertainment, a little fun. but then when it’s a bad day or a wrong move, it’s game over

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gothamslostboy · 1 year

Text

TLB Best Traits

David- LEADER

He’s king of the cave baby!

He’s able to reign in the boys

Just a smidge

Enough to keep them out of danger

He’s able to make the tough decisions so Dwayne, Paul, and Marko can live with a little less stress

Situations are manipulated to fit his best interest

So hopefully you’re on his good side

Marko- CREATIVE

It’s common to see ppl say Marko is a “gremlin” or sadistic

They’re right; he is

But the boy gets so inventive with life

His kills are probably entertaining to the boys

Bc How does he even come up with new methods after 100 years?? None of them know but it’s always a treat to them

His clothes, items, nest, almost everything he owns is over flowing with personality

He doesn’t cook often, cause of the whole vampire thing

But when he does it is the best thing you’ll ever taste

He probably loves decorating things for the ppl he cares about

Paul- CHARMING

He’s very easy to get along with

Most ppl fall in love with him after one conversation

This isn’t great for victims

But him and the boys love it

When you need to be cheered up Paul’s your guy

Even if you don’t tell him why you’re sad

He’ll find a way to make you smile

I feel like he unintentionally breaks up arguments in the cave sometimes

By doing something stupid or funny

It just ends and everyone relaxes

Star- SENSITIVE

She understands you’re feelings

Does her best to help

This is how the boys tricked her into drinking the blood btw

She said no at first, but took a swig after one look at how “sad” Paul was

Star learns really quickly what makes someone upset and the tells they have for different emotions

Thank god she’s nice bc Star could match David in manipulation if she wanted

She just knows how to make others feel any emotion after they’ve spent like 3 days together

Michael- HELPFUL

This boy will sell his own organs if it means the ppl he cares about are ok

Big or small, he’s gonna try to fix any problem you have

Even problems you don’t know you have

Michael is also a handy person

So if you break something, he’s the guy to go to

He’ll fix it and then buy/make you a meal in case you skipped one trying to find him

I love this idiot so much

Plz make more Michael fics I can’t find new ones

Dwayne- PROTECTIVE

He likes to look all stoic and intimidating in public bc he knows it scares threats away

He doesn’t like fist fights, but won’t hesitate if one of the pack is in danger

He’s emotionally protective too

He does all kinds of things to shield others from sadness/anger/etc.

He has bribed several pigeons to the cave bc he doesn’t want Marko to be upset when they die

Marko notices the difference but the effort and new pet softens the blow

Dwayne would stand near the person he sees as the most in need of protection any time strangers are around

Even if no one actually needs it

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niki-phoria · 1 year

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hi! i have a request for jay or sunghoon:)

i was thinking of a high school au where one of the boys are in the basketball team for their school. they have a rival school and jay/hoon also have a rival component (it can be someone from enha or txt) and they both want y/n🤭🤭 y/n can be close to both of them since they’re a reporter for their high school and have followed all their games since they report them

so basically i was thinking it ends where like jay/hoon win the game and they get the courage to confess from the rush of winning<3

just an idea i got, btw i loooove ur fics 😭😭

blonde mullet hoon >>>

pairing: basketball player!sunghoon x school reporter!gn!reader (they/them pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 1.7k

includes: high school au, poor basketball knowledge, i forgot what a dunk was and spent like five minutes googling it (is it even a dunk ??), blushy hoon, enha teasing hoon, txt cameos, chose beomgyu as hoon's rival but it's a good rivalry like they're friends they just play for different schools yk

a/n: choosing hoon for this bc this man will not let me live in peace /lh thank you so much for requesting !! it means so much that you enjoy my writing <33 this was such a cute idea, i hope you enjoy it :))

additional note: i used to be part of the yearbook club for a few years so i had to take pics of volleyball games so i have a little bit of experience with this i am aware that you don't scroll through cameras but i couldn't think of another word for it okay

requests open !! read my rules first

the referee blowing the whistle is your cue to prepare to start taking more pictures. you keep the camera close to your face, snapping multiple pictures at a time. beomgyu dribbles the ball, effortlessly guiding it along the floor as he runs to the other side of the court. he jumps, grabbing onto the rim and forcing it down through the net.

cheers erupt from the crowd behind you. you continue on, photographing his team rushing to where he is. they wrap their arms around each other, jumping in celebration. a small smile spreads across your face at the joy that radiates from all of them.

nearby, sunghoon sighs, leaning down on his hands. though his team lost the point, that’s not the reason why his lips quirk downwards into a slight frown. he leans forwards onto his hands, subtly looking at you through his fringe.

“it’s okay hyung,” sunoo says, patting his shoulder. he drops his voice, leaning in as if they’re strategizing. “talk to them after they finish. you know they always make time for you.”

sunghoon hopes the audience assumes his flushed face is from the game. their cheers quiet down when the referee blows the whistle again, announcing another round. sunoo squeezes his shoulder before he makes his way back to his own position.

sunghoon glances over at you again. this time you notice him, smiling and raising your fist in a small ‘fighting!’ gesture. he nods, leaning back onto his knees. he takes a deep breath, letting himself refocus completely on the game. everything else seems to fade away - the audience cheers, his coach yelling, the pressure from everywhere around him, even you and how nervous you make him. he lets the tension relax from his shoulders.

he isn’t park sunghoon, star basketball player constantly pinned against choi beomgyu who needs to live up to his reputation. he’s a teenage boy playing the sport he fell in love with secretly hoping it impresses the cute reporter standing at the other end of the court.

“sunghoon!” the ball feels light in his hands as jungwon passes it over. he dodges kai’s blocking attempt, running past yeonjun and taehyun as he jumps, shooting for the hoop. he scores.

the audience all but explodes. elation spreads through him as he pants. the referee holds her hands up, announcing their win. beside him, beomgyu holds out a hand. “congratulations,” he smiles.

sunghoon takes it, letting beomgyu pull him into a quick hug. “you too.” he quickly bows at soobin before his team swarms him, all of them trapped in a giant group hug. he laughs as they repeatedly pat his back and shoulders.

“good job everyone,” jungwon pants. “we all did well.”

“let’s get cleaned up,” heeseung smiles. “we could all use a shower.”

sunghoon looks over his shoulder to where you’re standing. beomgyu is leaning down to look at your camera as you scroll through the various photos you’ve taken during the night. little pangs of jealousy sting him. “i’ll be right there.”

he ignores the teasing “good luck” from jay, pushing his hair back as he makes his way over to you and beomgyu. beomgyu notices him first. “hey sunghoon.”

“hi hoon!” you perk up immediately, stepping towards him to wrap him into a hug. he wraps his arms around you, relishing in your touch. your actions ease some of the jealousy that still lingers. “great job out there today! you were incredible!”

sunghoon laughs, shaking his head. “thank you.”

“i was just showing beomgyu some of the photos from tonight, do you want to see?” he glances over at said boy, a silent question passing between them.

“you go ahead, i should get cleaned up anyways,” beomgyu smiles. “besides, it’ll be a long bus ride back home.”

“i’ll see you later, gyu,” you call as he leaves.

“see you hyung.” beomgyu gives him a small wink before he exits the gym.

now mostly alone with you, sunghoon leans over your shoulder as you scroll back through the variety of pictures from the night. he can recognize some of the moments from them - beomgyu’s dunk, him leaning down on his knees, his winning shot, beomgyu’s high five, and his team celebrating.

“i was thinking of using this one,” you murmur, moving back to a specific photo. it’s of sunghoon in mid-air during the winning shot of the night. even he has to admit that he looks good in the shot, even without editing. “mrs. lee wants the headline piece to be about the game tonight. i was hoping you could help me with basketball terms.”

“of course,” sunghoon smiles. he hadn’t realized how close you’re standing until you look over your shoulder at him. your back is nearly against his chest. he blushes, refocusing back on the camera in your hands. it feels intimate but neither of you move away. he clears his throat a little awkwardly. “are you coming to the game tomorrow night?”

“looks like it,” you sigh. “mrs. lee wants to assign me to sports.”

“and that’s… bad?” despite your disappointment at the idea, a small part of him is excited at the possibility of being able to spend more time with you.

“just not a huge fan of the screaming,” you shrug. “at least i’ll have you with me.”

sunghoon can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. he’s grateful that you don’t comment on how quickly his ears redden, though he’s sure you can tell. “yeah?”

“yeah,” you smile. “you make everything better.”

he’s saved from the embarrassment of his blush deepening further when the door swings open. “sunghoon,” his coach calls. “the showers are open if you’re ready.”

“yeah, yeah,” he nods before turning back to you. “so, i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“you’ll see me tomorrow,” you confirm.

the giddiness builds in sunghoon as he leaves for the showers, letting the cool water calm him down. he washes up quickly, rinsing the sweat from his body and hair before throwing on an old pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt he brought with him.

niki, jake, heeseung, and jungwon have already finished showering when he exits, rummaging through his bag to put his uniform away. “that was an awfully long talk with y/n,” niki says. “did you finally do it?”

sunghoon purses his lips, pretending to continue looking for something in his bag. “no.”

jake sits up, looking over at him. “really? you should. it’s really obvious they like you.”

“sunoo said that too,” he sighs, sitting down on the bench next to them. “do you really think so?”

“like jake said, it’s pretty obvious.” heeseung chuckles. “they flirt with you pretty much every time you guys interact.”

this makes him pause, looking over at his friends. “do you think they know i like them?”

“you look like a lovesick fool whenever they glance in your direction,” niki laughs. “i’m sure they know already.”

“ah,” he playfully swats at niki’s shoulder.

“i think you should confess, hyung.” jungwon says, setting his phone aside. “you guys would be cute together.”

sunghoon turns away, looking down at the ground. he lets their reassurances calm his nerves, thinking back on the interactions he’s had with you. all of the little things he brushed off as your friendly personality or shared experiences. with a final sigh, he nods. “alright. they asked for help with their report. i’ll ask them then.”

heeseung pats his shoulder again. “that’s my boy.”

sunghoon rolls his eyes, silently grateful for the push into finally telling you about how he feels.

sunghoon is standing on the court across from beomgyu with a ball in his hand again sooner than he thinks. he can see you snapping photos in the corner of his eye. the rest of the game hinges on this shot. the scoreboard on the wall shows a large white timer, slowly counting down. only 30 seconds left.

he takes a deep breath, willing his nerves to calm down. everything feels like it’s going too fast and too slow at the same time. suddenly all of the eyes on him are no longer friends and classmates. they don’t feel comforting and excited. they simply increase the pressure he feels all around him - like he’s drowning. like the air is slowly being stolen from his lungs.

“hoon!” your sweet voice breaks him out of his anxiety induced trance. he looks at you fully this time, eyes meeting yours. you raise your fist once again to cheer him on. “you can do it!”

sunghoon smiles, taking a deep breath. finally, he jumps, forcing the ball through the air towards the hoop. it spins as it bounces against the backboard before falling down through the net in a single fluid motion.

the audience cheers slowly come back to reality. he waits for the referee to blow his whistle, the timer letting out a loud ring to announce the end of the game. this time he doesn’t wait for his friends to swarm him or to congratulate the other team. he acts purely on instinct, running over to you and wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. you laugh, clinging onto his shoulders as he spins you around. he pulls back, looking down into your eyes. “i’m so in love with you.”

your smile grows even larger before the words register to him. before he can react himself you pull him down, so your foreheads touch. “can i kiss you?”

still somewhat in a trance, sunghoon nods. euphoria bursts through him when you finally lean up to press your lips against his in a sweet kiss. he brings a hand up to cup your cheek, coaxing you even closer and deepening it. you smile against his lips, pressing a final peck against them before pulling away.

you’re both panting by the end of it, smiling at each other. “can i call you mine?” sunghoon finally asks.

“i always have been.” unable to hide his excitement any longer, your - now boyfriend - pulls you into yet another kiss.

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biggestsimponhere · 1 year

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My beloved @kib-ble wanted a Joel bodyguard au so that’s what they’re gonna get.

Bodyguard!Joel miller x Famous!Reader AU, im sorry i couldn’t help but put a little angst between joel and ellie. it’s in my blood to make things sad. I’m also giving you famous friends from our world so don’t mind that. If you’re mad about being friends with them, idk, cry about it. (They aren’t bad people btw, just celebs i follow) I’m making you friends with the cast of the rookie. i don’t pay that much attention to celebrities but i like the rookie.

Warnings - TW! Sexual harassment/Assault (Someone grabs your ass unasked for but don’t worry joel will put him in his place) This is not tlou cannon it just has tlou characters if you don’t like it don’t read :) there are no zombies! TLOU CANNON LEVEL VIOLENCE (its really just a fist fight but yk) Sarah’s here too idgaf if she and ellie couldn’t be at the same time, don’t ask about ellie’s parents (fatal car accident 😔) (THIS IS WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OR INTENDED IT TO BE PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE OR IF YOU LIKE IT)

“You know you’re not meant to run away from the person protecting you?” A voice interrupted your silence. Not just any voice. His voice. “Well i wouldn’t have to run away if i could have five minutes to myself, miller” You replied standing up. “You know it’s for your safety right? We’re not just here to bother you” He said walking over to you. “Oh trust me i know, you only remind me everyday” You said rolling your eyes. “How did you even find me anyways?” You continued turning to him. “You’re not that hard to find princess” He remarked moving closer to you. “Come on, you’ve got a dinner to get to, and some creep was lurking out there with his camera” He said sliding his hand into yours to pull you out of the room you’d hidden away in.

“Why do I even have to go to this thing anyways” You said smiling at the feeling of his hand in yours. “Because it’s important, at least that’s what your manager said” He said continuing down the hall. “Stop here” He said letting go of your hand to grab the door. Your hand felt slightly colder without his warmth but you just shook it off. “Okay, no one’s there, move, quickly” He said ushering you out the door. Walking out the door you practically ran to the car with Joel trailing close behind. Once you were safely in the car Joel told the driver where to go. “So why do you spend all your time following me around, I mean i know it’s your job, but you hardly ever switch someone” You said turning to him.

He’s been your bodyguard for years and always seems to be around. “Well it’s my job like you said, and I only have one person to get back to” He said smiling slightly. Feeling a little dejected thinking he had a girlfriend you asked who. “Ellie. I’m like her guardian or whatever, I raised her, she lives with me in a small town, but she’s grown now, doesn’t need me hovering around her” He said looking out the window. “I’m sure she’ll always need you” You said smiling at him. “Yeah, i guess, but she spends a whole lot more time with her friends than she does me. I mean we don’t even go on walks anymore. It’s just ‘Bye Joel i’m going out with Dina and Jesse’. It’s like she doesn’t need me” He said a little dejectedly.

“Well she’s a teenager right? She needs her space and I’m sure if you just asked you could spend more time together” You said reaching over to pat his knee. You were about to remove your hand when he put his over yours and held it there. “Yeah i’m sure you’re right” He said smiling at you. That was a rarity. Joel Miller barely ever smiles so you feel pretty special when he throws one your way. After that the conversation died out but you still had your hand on his knee and his was still over yours. As the car rolled to a stop he looked down remembering your hand was there and he quickly removed his. He stepped out of the car and walked to your side to open the door.

“Miss y/l/n” He said grabbing your hand to help you out of the car. Much more professional than you two had been five minutes ago. There were photographers everywhere. They all kept shouting at you to look at them and you did your best to keep up. Eventually someone came outside and ushered you and Joel and your other guard Andrew inside. Once you were inside you were led to a table full of people you either knew or recognized. “Ahh y/n, you’re here!” Melissa cheered. “That i am!” You replied hugging here. “We wondered when we were gonna see you again.” Eric said smiling at you. You slid into your seat between the two and continued talking to all of them.

“Is he gonna keep staring at us like that?” Mekia asked looking over your shoulder. You turned around to see Joel glaring at the table but softening a bit when he caught your eye. You smiled at him and then turned back, “Joel’s always like that, but he won’t do anything unless one of you tries something” You said laughing. “He doesn’t seem like he’s always like that considering he smiled after you turned away” Nathan said raising an eyebrow at you. “Now he’s right back to glaring” Mekia said laughing. Soon the food arrived and you started eating. The whole point of this event was to make friends with other actors and actresses, but really mostly people just stuck by people they already knew.

“Are you gonna come dance with us?” Alyssa said after you’d all finished eating. “I suppose” You said pretending to be reluctant but smiling anyways. “Come on they opened the bar!” Melissa said grabbing your hand. “Well i’ll never say no to free alcohol” You said letting her pull you. After a few drinks (more like 5) you were still dancing with your friends. “Hey pretty lady” Some guy whispered in your ear as he came up behind you. This immediately caught Joel’s eye but he didn’t want to step in until it was a problem. Everything was fine, until it wasn’t. You had just silently moved away but he followed you. Once he grabbed your ass you pushed him away.

He stumbled back into a few people but came back almost immediately after he moved forward Joel was by your side. “I suggest you take a few steps back” He said pulling you behind him. “What’re you gonna do old man” The man said challenging him. Joel walked you back a little before swinging at the man. He stumbled back into the people behind him who took this opportunity to flee the dance floor leaving you, joel and the man standing in it. The man quickly threw a punch at joel which he caught and then punched the guy in the stomach. After that the man got the upperhand for a second and you were about to do something, anything but Melissa and Eric pulled you back.

“He’s okay, this what he was hired for” Melissa said to you as you continued watching them fight. Eventually after a solid punch Joel knocked the man out cold. You ran over to him grabbing his shoulders. “Fuck Joel, you’re insane, he could have killed you” You said gripping his jacket. “Probably not, but im okay, just a little sore and a few scratches” He said rubbing his hands up your arms. As you continued scolding joel security came to drag the other man out to some car to take him to the hospital. “A few scratches?! Your knuckles are bloody and scraped to hell” You said turning your attention to his hand. You were close to tears by this point.

He stopped your frantic search for more injuries by pulling you into his arms. “You hear that princess? M’hearts still beating” He whispered into your ear. You stood like that for a couple minutes before he spoke again. “Are you okay?” He said pulling you out of his chest. Of course he’s thinking of your comfort when he’s all scraped up. “Yeah, I’m okay now, let’s get you to the hospital” You said wiping your nose. “I don’t want to go to the hospital, i’ll just go home tommy and ellie can probably help me better anyways” He said shaking his head. “Joel you need to go to the hospital” You scolded him.

“Please, i don’t want to go to the hospital, just let me go home, please” He practically begged you. You’d never heard him sound like this let alone say please. “Yeah okay, but i’m coming with you” You grabbed his arm before walking over to your friends. “I’m gonna take him home, just didn’t want to leave without sayin goodbye” You said hugging your friends. Joel stood behind you while you said bye to your friends. He’s never been as fidgety as he is right now, something must be really bothering him. “Alright, let’s get you home yeah?” You said grabbing his good hand. He just nodded and wordlessly followed you out the door. Once you settled in the car and told the driver to take you to joel’s you rolled up the screen separating the back and the front.

“Joel” You said quietly unsure how to approach the problem. He hummed in response tilting his head towards you. “Are you okay?” The silence filled the car after that. You didn’t want to speak again until he said something. It took him a few minutes but he spoke again. “No, not really” He said grabbing onto your hand. You unbuckled and moved closer to him. Wrapping your arms around him you buried your face in his shoulder. Joel’s never been like this in all the years you’ve known him. You were about to speak again when you felt tears hit your chest and heard his shaky breathing. Instead of speaking you just held him tighter and let him cry into your chest.

“I’m sorry” He said finally pulling away from you. “Don’t apologize, you don’t ever have to apologize for your emotions” You said swiping his hair off his forehead. He nodded and pulled you into another hug, which you returned. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked quietly. “No, at least not right now” He said pulling away as the car rolled to a stop in front of joel’s. You slid out with him and stopped walking when he walked back over to the car. You didn’t hear what he said but shortly after the car pulled away leaving you both alone. “Come on, we gotta get you cleaned up” You held out your hands to him which he took. Once you both walked through the door Ellie sprung up from the couch.

She took in the both of you before speaking. “What the hell happened to you” She said scanning joel’s injuries. “It’s nothin” Joel brushed it off walking past her into the kitchen. You stood there awkwardly before joel called you into the kitchen. “I called tommy he should be here in a few minutes, would you like something to drink?” He said walking over to you. “No i’m alright” You smiled before sitting in a chair at the table. “Joel? Are you gonna tell me what happened or should i ask her?” Ellie said walking into the kitchen. “It was just a little fight, ellie i’m fine” He said brushing off her concern. “A little fight? You’re all scraped up, you haven’t had a fight in forever too” She said continuing to pester him.

You enjoyed watching the two of them interact. “Ellie i said it’s nothing” He said coming off a little harshly. She shrunk a little before stepping back. “I’m sorry kiddo, it was just a rough day” He said turning towards her. Then the door to the house opened and tommy walked in. “Joel, what the hell happened?” Tommy said walking into the kitchen. Once he stopped he spotted you. “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend?” He said turning back to joel. “Girlfriend?!” Sarah said running down the stairs. “She’s not my girlfriend, and what’re you doing here? Aren’t you meant to be at home with your family?” Joel said turning to her.

You were happy to just sit quietly and watch joel interact with the people he loves. “I told them i was gonna hang out with ellie for a little” She said brushing off his question. “Sorry to butt in but joel you’re still hurt” You said finally speaking. “Right” Tommy said reaching under the sink for the first aid kit. As tommy worked on cleaning joel in the living room, Sarah and Ellie moved to sit next to you. Joel had begrudgingly left you alone with them but not without warning them to behave. “Soooo, what’re your intentions with my dad” Sarah said first. “You can’t just ask her things like that” Ellie said cutting her off. “What do you mean?” You said finally.

“Are you together? Do you like him? Do you love him?” She said, the questions flowing out of her mouth rapidly. “No we’re not together” You we’re about to continue speaking when joel walked back in and cut you off. “Stop botherin her” He said stopping behind your chair. “We’re not bothering her, right?” Sarah said looking from her father to you. “They’re fine Joel, really.” You said looking up at him. “Did you send Drew away or is he gonna be back?” You said turning to fully face him. “He’s gone, you can stay here tonight” He said with full confidence. “But we don’t have a guest room” Ellie said looking up at him confused. “She can just sleep in my bed, i’ll sleep on the couch” Joel said sitting in the chair next to you.

“Hell no, after tonight your sleeping in your bed, i cant take that away from you” You said shaking your head. “Why don’t you just share the bed?” Sarah said looking between the two of you. “Yeah, I mean you’re both adults” Tommy said patting joel on the shoulder. “Are you okay with that?” Joel said nudging your foot with his. “Yeah, Yeah, we can handle it” You said trying not to sound to eager. “Sarah can you go to yours and grab her some clothes?” Joel turned to his daughter. “Sure!” She said standing up and leaving quickly. “Alright, i’ve gotta get back home before maria strings me up but i’ll be seeing you” Tommy said pointing to you as he left. “Can i go have a sleepover at Dina’s? I meant to ask you earlier but you weren’t home” Ellie said turning to Joel.

“Yeah go ahead” And with that Ellie got up and grabbed the bag she had apparently already packed and ran out the door. “Guess it’s just us then” Joel said chuckling awkwardly. You nodded and then the door opened again. “I only have pajama shorts, sorry, but she can borrow one of your shirts right dad?” Sarah said handing you the shorts. “Of course you can” Joel said slightly smiling. “Alright, gotta go” Sarah said turning back around and leaving. “Let’s go to bed” Joel said pulling you up and then walking you to the stairs. Once you two had reached his bedroom he walked in and pulled out a shirt for you. He handed it to you before turning around.

As you stated to take off your jewelry you remembered the zipper on the back of your dress. You tried to do it yourself but since you couldn’t even zip it yourself how did you expect to take it off. “Um, Joel?” You whispered into the room. “Yes?” He called back. “I, uh, i cant unzip it” You said too embarrassed to turn around. You heard footsteps move closer to you before stopping just behind you. You could feel his breath on your neck as he began to speak. “Do you need some help?” Your breath caught as you realized how close he is to you. You nodded and his hands moved to the zipper. His fingers brushing against your back sent sparks shooting through you.

“It’s unzipped” He said pulling you out of your thoughts. You realized he must have turned around again as you couldn’t hear his voice as clearly. You slid his shirt and the shorts on and turned back to face him. “You can look now” You said and he turned towards you. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you in his shirt and extremely small shorts. He can’t help but think sarah did that on purpose. You both climbed into bed, as you settled in you thought to yourself how you could get used to this. Family talks, His shirts, Sleeping next to him in bed. “Joel” You said slowly. He hummed turning to look at you.

“Would you hold me?” You asked quietly. He nodded and flipped the light off before settling in behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and smiled at the feeling of finally having you in his arms even if it isn’t when he’s with you. That would be a talk for another time. “Goodnight joel” You said rolling over to face him. “Goodnight sunshine” Joel said as you snuggled into his chest. Yeah you could get used to this. And so could he.

#joel miller x you #joel the last of us #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x Actress!Reader #pedro pascal #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #bodyguard!joel miller #bodyguard!joel miller x actress!reader

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vivaladicamillo · 1 year

Note

Okay so I don’t know why but I’m just so fixated this idea? I can imagine a female reader, being the first and only girl in the jackass crew and also being apart of wildboyz. Her, Chris, & Steve-O are all attached at the hips obviously and maybe one day after filming for Wildboyz they all go back to the hotel and clean up, have a big smoke sess and it just leads to these two tag teaming her while there all high as hell? (Which btw I feel like it’s very much a common occurrence 🤭 especially if they’re in like a poly relationship)

STEVEO/READER/CHRIS PONTIUS IMAGINE

im literally so obsessed with this idea, know that chris and steve-o were so close anyways it always makes me giggle. sorry i didnt get to do this sooner i have had a kidney stone and have been super sick bc of it, welp enjoy!! this is also my first ever like actual written out smut so sorry if its absolute shit but i have the writing skills of a idiot so….

WARNINGS: cursing, drinking, talks of drugs and alcohol, and smut

—————————————

ok so u, steve-o and chris have always been pretty close

yall all met through the first season of jackass

u were good friends with steph so she invited u to go watch her and the guys do stupid shit

and ofc u wanted to participate

so u go onto set looking around for her

instead u see two half naked men just chillin, standing around

after some first awkward glances u meet with steph and watch everything unfold

everyone was in the middle of a type of field with a huge loop that ppl were trying to ride with skate boards and bikes and shit

it was actually super cool

after a few hours of filming in the hot sun u pretty much were beat

u walk over to ur friend to tell her u think ur gonna head out for today

but little do u know the two guys from earlier are also friends with steph

so the four of yall get to talking

and u learn that the one man whos tan, in pretty good shape and is now wearing bunny ears and a flower bra is chris pontius, and the other bald man wearing a cheetah speedo is steve-o

they both invited u to join them to get ihop after the shoot

and just like that a trio was born

the three of u were always together

either just chillin, partying, or filming

u guys were never apart

u were the only one out of the three who actually had an apartment

so the two mostly (basically) lived at ur house

after the seasons of jackass ended steve-o and chris ended up doing a spin off called “wildboyz”

obviously u were still gonna be with them

u do hella cameos in wildboyz

u do all the shit that the guys are too pussy to do

swimming with alligators, sharks, bears rlly anything

also when steveo didnt wanna jump off the bridge with wings on, u def did

so lets set the scene

after doing some filming in australia, the crew and u three decide to go out on the town in melborne

just doing some bar hopping

eventually the crew gets tired and drunk and go off back to the hotel room

not the three american idiots tho

u steveo and pontius are just having a grand ol’ time drinking, goofing around and just having fun

it seems awesome

until pontius ends up fist fighting with some random guys which leads to steveo also getting involved

that gets everyone kicked out the bar

after some mumbling and complaining from the two u bring up a solution

“hey lets just go back to my room, i brought some weed we could go smoke or something..”

it was a absolute yes

who says no to weed?

the three of u go back to ur hotel room and smoke 2 whole joints together

yall were HIGHHHHH

the three of u guys were just in a cluster on the cheap ass hotel rug, giggling and cracking jokes till way into the night

the thing is, when ur high, u tend to get a little touchy

so little touches on chris’ chest while laughing here and accidently touching steveos thigh there

totally innocent touches

things start to get a little intense tho

longer eye contact from chris, steve-o trying to make u laugh more

and just like that steve-o has u in a bear hug, ur back to his chest while chris is next to u guys

after u calm urself down from having a giggle attack

u look over at chris

“have i ever told u, u have a pretty face y/n” chris says

u kinda had to stop in ur tracks a bit, only bc ur surprised

“yea, ur right chris, i also never say how good u smell dude, its like heavenly” steveo chimes in

u start to get a little nervous

yea u thought ur two friends were super hot but u werent gonna tell THEM that

“yea its probably because i actually shower, unlike u two” u giggle trying to ease the tension

“im serious y/n, ur actually gorgeous, ive just never told u like out loud in person before” chris says

ur face starts to turn bright red

“guys wha-“

“aweee chris ur making them blush” steve-o chuckles

at this point ur beat red, and a little sweaty

ur just baffled bc u know all abt the type of ppl chris and steve-o go for, you the last person u would ever think they would even come close to saying that stuff too

“hey, lets put a proposal on the table” steveo says, snaking his hand around ur waist

“its been a hell of a night, why dont we end this shit off right, chris? y/n? u down?”

“LIKE SEX?” u blurt out in ur intoxicated state causing the two guys to burst out laughing

“yes y/n, like sex” chris says

welp who knew this was gonna happen

ur two best friends wanting to fuck u??? like what?? how did this happen

i mean u were already in steveos lap, having his hand wrap around ur waist as his head rests on ur shoulder and chris on the opposite side of u playing with ur hair, curling it in between his fingers

“fuck it” u say, turning to chris

chris leans in and starts kissing u

eh well not kissing

more like very drunkly making out

steve-o starts kissing and licking on ur neck

all this is making ur face bright red

and tbh making u hella turned on

u eventually crawl out of steveos lap straddling chris

he runs his hand up ur shirt and up the small of ur back, steveo then helps chris take off ur shirt and ur bra

steveo then starts massaging ur breasts while whispering sweet nothings into ur ear

u pull away from the two

“guys i really think we shouldnt do this on the gross ass hotel room floor, the room comes with a bed for a reason” you say

the two look at eachother then look at u and nod

chris throws u over his shoulder while steveo runs ahead and plops down on the bed

chris then puts u on the bed, leaving u in ur jean shorts from ur guys night on the town

chris then unzips ur shorts and looks up at ur for permission

u nod and he starts kissing down ur stomach, taking off ur jeans and panties as he does

chris starts to eat u out while u push ur back into steve-o

u go to tangle ur fingers into chris’ hair

steveo quickly takes ur wrists into one hand

“awee come one sweetheart ur giving him all the attention” he chuckles

u turn to him, not even able to make out a word bc of how good chris is doing

who knew that he could eat pussy like THAT

u lock lips with steveo and u both moan into the the kiss

chris pulls away from u

he gets up and crawls onto the bed with u and steveo

damn good thing u got a king bed with ur room

u turn to straddle steveo, grinding against him as u do causing u both to groan

u pull away helping steve-o get his pants off

u look over at chris and hes already intensely watching u too, dick in hand

bc thats just how he rolls

u take steve-os cock out of his boxers, lick up his shaft then get on top of him

u put his tip at ur entrance and slowly sink down onto him

u both moan at the feeling

as u start to ride him, u turn to chris once again and hes slowly stroking his dick, once u really get a look at it u realize how big he is

“hm what? u like what u see sweetheart?” chris mumbles in between moans

u nod, still riding steveo, feeling urself slowly creep towards release

steveo then pulls u off him

“i feel like this isnt fair, i shouldnt have to keep ur gorgeous body all to myself, thats just selfish.” he beckons chris over

“turn around” steve-o says

u do as he says, chris now on the bed in front of you

“whats wrong darling? u look like u want something, dont be shy” chris says caressing ur cheek to make u look him in his eyes

god u couldnt get enough of his big beautiful eyes

“yes..” u say lowly

“what was that? i cant hear u?”

“yes chris, please.” u say glancing down at his dick

while this is all happening steve-o is just groping ur ass

“ohh u wanna suck me off dont u?” he rubs his thumb across ur bottom lip “ofc u can, anything for u”

u lean down to his dick, putting it in ur hand and giving it small licks here and there

as ur ass is up in the air, right in front of steveos face, he pushes himself back into u, fucking u from behind

u start to take all of chris into ur mouth, moaning as u feel steveos hand reach for ur clit

the room was just filled with moans, groans, and the sound of skin slapping, steve-o and chris just making intense eye contact the whole time

“ah fuck y/n just like that” chris mumbles as u take his whole length down ur throat, gagging

steveos thrusts start to speed up quicker and u feel like ur going to cum and minute now

u pull off chris’ dick with a pop, jerking him off in place of ur mouth

“shit, im-“

u dont get to finish ur sentence before u feel urself cum all over steveos cock

steveos fucks u through ur high, pulls out and cums on ur back

then a few minutes later chris came onto ur face

after the three of u have calmed down from ur highs, chris gets up and grabs a towel from the bathroom to clean u guys up

well mainly u

after u three all get into bed and fall asleep, u cuddling into chris’ chest and steveo spooning u from behind

“man we should do that more often” steveo says

and u guys sure did

after that night u three all kinda agreed to be a thing, u recommend a poly relationship which they didnt know much about but were completely down for

they both are in love with u (and lowkey eachother) so it was a win for everyone involved

———————————————————

ok hope yall enjoyed! as u can tell i cant take smut srsly at all ive never rlly written smut before at this detail level so i just kinda went with it, hope its not too bad. im also way to lazy atm to read over this for mistakes so ima just got with it, please keep recommending stuff for me to write! its very fun!

#jackass #jackass x reader #chris pontius x reader smut #chris pontius #chris pontius x reader #steveo x reader #steve o #steveo x reader smut

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training4theapocalypse · 8 months

Text

Finders Keepers Ch 13. (Cormac McLaggen x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: A little bit of dry humping hehe

Summary: McLaggen takes you to the D.A. Headquarters

A/N: I won't admit how much time I spent on AirBNB looking up lighthouses. This chapter is lots of build-up but I promise the payoff will be worth it.

Masterlist

Tag list: @countlambula, @ratsys, @aweidlich, @navs-bhat, @stainedpomegranatelips, @chiaraanatra, @xxvelvetxxxx, @ohnoitsrosie, @dracosisteer, @daisydark, @intense-sneezing, @lipstickandloveletters, @ichorai (let me know if you want removed at any point btw!)

Chapter 13: Dunkirk

Salty sea air breaches your lungs once more and with a sickening stab, you’re reminded of Azkaban.

But the air here is warmer. You feel sun on your skin.

There’s no sun in Azkaban.

You blink, trying to get your bearings.

“Just a little further,” says McLaggen gently, squeezing your hand. It’s always felt small in his. Now it feels almost frail.

You’re atop a barren cliff. The sea glitters calmly on the horizon as the bright sun threatens to lower itself into the waves. Seagulls call to each other as the wind whips your face - their yewling sounds like laughing. You almost want to laugh too. But you’re not sure if they’re laughing with you or at you. You feel filthy compared to your fresh, open surroundings.

You feel the patchy grass under your bare feet as you walk towards the cliff’s edge.

“Cormac, where…?”

“Nearly there.” He stops. “I’m Secret Keeper for our headquarters. The Seafarer’s Beacon.”

As soon as he says the name of the place, the ground vibrates. A large, white object cracks the surface of the ground a few hundred feet away and keeps growing and growing upwards. Debris tumbles as an old lighthouse emerges, sprouting from the cliff like a giant beanstalk. With a shuddering halt, it stops and you gaze up at it, the towering building gleaming in the sunlight.

You gape, open-mouthed. “How did you find this place?”

“It’s my Uncle Tiberius’s. He gave it to us to use while he’s off in Brunei hunting Re’em. But with everything going on, he’s decided to make himself scarce and stay there.”

“And it’s safe? I mean, the Ministry isn’t going to come looking for us here?”

“Oh, they’ll be looking alright. But it’s protected by the Fidelius Charm. Unless the Secret Keeper - me - tells you about it, it’s invisible, unplottable. Impenetrable.”

“Yeah, I remember from the…“ Your N.E.W.T.s seem like they were a decade ago. “The Charms exam…” You trail off.

“They’re expecting us. They’ll be… God, they’ll be so happy to see you. So happy it worked,” says McLaggen as you approach the arched driftwood door of the lighthouse. He pushes down on the iron handle and the door opens into a vast, circular kitchen.

There’s shrieking and screeches of wood on tile that makes you jump out of your skin. Instinctively you shrink behind McLaggen, hiding away from the noise, gripping onto the soft fabric of his knitted jumper until your knuckles turn white.

“Be cool, yeah?” scolds McLaggen softly and silence falls.

You peer tentatively around his large frame to see Cho Chang, Katie Bell and Leanne Coombes all on their feet around a large wooden table - staring at you, chairs discarded behind them.

“Hi,” says Cho quietly, smiling warmly.

Cho.

You feel your throat constrict when you meet her eyes. Don’t be stupid. You know you should be thrilled to see them. To see them alive. And to see Cho here especially. But all you feel is frightened - your body’s flight or fight response is making every muscle in your body seize up.

You look down at your fists full of McLaggen’s jumper. They’re covered in dirt and grime. You quickly let go, feeling embarrassed to even be clutching on his clean clothes.

“I’ll show you where our room is,” says McLaggen, taking your hand again and making a stern ‘quieten down’ gesture with his other to the group that reminds you viscerally of his dad.

A circular staircase spirals around the wall of the lighthouse, leading upward. As you ascend the stairs, you see rooms leading off to the sides - something that would look impossible from the outside. But you’ve been in the magical world long enough not to dwell too long on the weird quirks of wizarding architecture.

McLaggen leads you to the master bedroom near the top of the tower. It’s beautiful. Coral pink with little circular windows like on a ship. There’s another open door off to the side of the room and you can see the gleaming white tile of a bathroom.

“Your things are here,” McLaggen tells you. Your backpack is on the bed next to a folded white towel.

“The Ministry didn’t take them?”

He shakes his head. You feel the fluffy texture of the towel under your dirty fingernails. McLaggen picks up your bag and unnecessarily opens the bathroom door wider for you. He touches your shoulder as you pass. But before you can stop yourself, you cringe away without really meaning to.

He pulls back apologetically.

“Sorry. I’m… I just feel disgusting.”

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

You bring yourself to gaze up at him standing in the doorframe with his tousled hair and broad shoulders. Handsome as ever in the pink ambient light. Even if he looks more tired than you’ve ever seen him before, it’s ridiculous for him to call anyone else beautiful - not least you in your current state.

“Shut up, McLaggen.”

Unexpectedly, his face breaks into a wide, contagious smile that makes those gorgeous dimples appear - you can’t resist your mouth twisting into one too. You’re you. You’re still you. And he’s still him.

He gives you your backpack and you go to shut the door but pause, meeting his eyes again.

“Can you stay here?”

“Of course. Anything.”

Your throat tightens again so you just press the bathroom door shut. With a deep breath, you bring yourself to look in the mirror.

It’s worse than you’d pictured. Your eyes are deep hollows with dark circles underneath them. If McLaggen looked tired, you look positively haggard. Your hair is filthy, and unkempt. You try to run your hand through it to find your fingers halted by the tangles.

Unable to bear to look anymore, you turn on the shower, throw off your wretched Azkaban robes bitterly into the wastebin and step in. The water is warm. It might be the best sensation you’ve ever felt. You look down at your feet and with grim satisfaction, see the water turn murky. You turn up the heat until your skin feels raw. It’s like it’s heating you to your very bones. You’re not sure how long you stay there. Soapy suds of every colour make their way down the drain as one by one, you use every one of McLaggen’s Uncle’s fancy soaps and shampoos. Using a small nail brush, you scrub your fingernails, your toenails and, still feeling unsatisfied with how the memories of Azkaban linger on your skin, you scrub the rest of your skin inch by inch.

When you’re finally satisfied with your cleanliness, you find your clothes and toothbrush in your backpack and finish getting ready. Seeing yourself looking so tired and worn as you brush your teeth makes you want to cry. And when you think about crying you can’t stop the tears coming. You cry thinking about your parents. About the Holyhead Harpies. About Cho, Katie, Leanne and McLaggen hiding here. But most of all, you cry thinking about Eddie Carmichael.

You wonder if he’s still waiting for you to return, guessing what’s happened to you or if he’ll get news of your escape and wonder why nobody came for him too. You think about him looking out his cell window at the cold North Sea. You hope the German Shepherd visits him.

The German Shepherd.

You clutch the sides of the sink feeling dizzy. How could you have forgotten?

“McLaggen!” You shout urgently and he bursts through the bathroom door in a panic. You grab the front of his jumper, pleading. “McLaggen, the Patronus!”

“Yeah? What?”

“You need to send it!” You say frantically. “You need to send it right now to Eddie, please. Please, he’s alone. He needs it.”

His eyes widen in shock at your hysteria.

“Cormac - now. Please.”

“Yeah, I will. I’ll do it right now.”

He returns to the bedroom and waves his wand. The German Shepherd Patronus bursts from the tip and sits obediently.

“Go to Carmichael,” he tells it and waves his wand again. The Pantronus turns and with a leap disappears through the wall.

You breathe a sigh of relief and sit down on the bed, arms trembling as the sudden surge of panicked adrenaline leaves your body. “That’s… it?” you ask, feeling your heart rate coming back down to normal.

“I mean, it’s harder than it looks. But yeah... that’s it.”

With no idea where to begin, you lie back and stare at the round ceiling. The mattress feels soft under your aching back.

“Did you say this was ‘our’ room?” you ask.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he says quickly. “There’s lots of space. I can sleep somewhere else.”

“I don’t want to sleep alone ever again.”

McLaggen takes this as an invitation to join you on the bed. He finds your fingers resting on your stomach and laces his through them.

“Do you want to talk?”

“Not about Azkaban.” You turn your head to look at him. “Can you talk instead? Just… tell me what happened. From the start.”

“Well, I woke up and you were gone, obviously. I thought maybe you’d gone down for breakfast.”

You can picture it, McLaggen waking up and checking the guest room to find it hadn’t been slept in.

“My dad - “

“Was it planned?” The question on your lips that you’ve been holding right to your chest.

“No. I promise. We left the gate open so he never had time to get you out of there. He guessed that it was Thicknesse. So he just went along with it. To protect us.”

“To protect you,” you correct. “So he sacrificed me.”

“Yes.” He doesn’t deny it. “And whatever you want to say about him, say it. I’ve said it to him all already. You have no idea - no idea - how furious I was.”

Several rude names dance on the tip of your tongue but don’t say anything, you just look up at the ceiling.

“He never imagined you’d be sent to Azkaban. The legislation said they were supposed to just confiscate your wand. But with everything that happened with Cerys, she convinced her dad to push for the maximum sentence. So really, it’s my fault.”

“Cormac - “

“No, listen. It is. If I’d just kept my ego in check, left the pub and took you home we would never have been in this mess.”

“Cerys knew I was Muggleborn by that point,”

“But she had no reason to do anything about it until I attacked Flint.”

Cerys and Flint. You wonder if they had a good laugh when they saw your face all over the Daily Prophet.

“Anyway, after you were arrested, I had a big bust-up with my Dad and came here to cool off. Stay with my Uncle. It was pretty bad. We’re still not speaking.”

“But we just saw him?”

“Only because the plan made it necessary.” He continues, “So when I arrived my Uncle was packing up for Brunei. Tried to get me to come with. But I knew I had to stay - think of a way to get you out.”

You feel your chest swell a little. Deep down you always knew he was thinking about you. Even in your worst moments - a tiny part of you always knew.

“Uncle Tiberius gave me the keys and left, leaving me to do a lot of thinking. Until one day I was lying right here.” He lies back and stares at the ceiling with you, absently tracing circles with his fingers over the back of your hand. “And a Patronus came. A big white swan.”

“Whose?”

“It was Cho. I recognised it from the D.A. but I didn’t realise Patronuses could travel like that. I checked the window because I thought she must be outside. But then it spoke.”

“The Patronus spoke to you?”

“Yeah. And I recognised Cho’s voice. Said she, Katie and Leanne were safe and together and she asked if I knew about what happened to you. The problem was I had no idea how to reply. So I spent the next two weeks trying to figure out how the spell worked. But I was in pretty bad shape - not compared to your conditions, obviously!” He adds hastily, as if worried he’ll offend you.

“It’s okay. It’s not a competition. Though if it was I’d win,” you smile weakly.

“You would.” He squeezes your hand. “I was so sick with worry that I wasn’t able to cast a Patronus anymore. That is until one morning when I read in the Daily Prophet that three people had broken into the Ministry disguised as Ministry employees. And it got me thinking - what if I could use a Ministry employee to get into Azkaban?

“So finally, after so long, I had a happy thought. Happy enough to let me spend the rest of the day trying to send a Patronus long-distance with a message.”

“You never sent me a message,” you say, trying unsuccessfully to keep a note of accusation out of your voice.

“I had no idea what it was like in Azkaban. I didn’t know if you were being watched. Or who would hear it if I gave you information. I sent the first Patronus and then I checked the paper the next day. I thought if they suspected you of communicating with anyone outside they’d punish you. It was risky but…”

“It was worth it,” you reassure him, squeezing his hand. “Cormac, it saved my sanity, I’m sure of it. And Carmichael’s too.”

He nods. “So the same night I sent my Patronus to you, I sent one to Cho too. And we arranged for them to come here. We came up with a plan to get you out. A reason to get you back into the courtroom. And it had to be big enough for my dad himself to be involved.”

“You being held hostage by Dumbledore’s Army?”

“Yeah. I went back to mine and told my dad the plan. Nobody knew at the Ministry that my dad and I had fallen out. So the day I was meant to start work I just never turned up. And my dad played the distraught father extremely well. First, his son almost had his magic stolen, now he’d been kidnapped by Dumbledore's Army.”

“Why Dumbledore’s Army?”

“We knew Umbridge would be so incensed that we were back that she’d understand my dad wanting to drag you from Azkaban himself.”

What an awful, awful woman. Desperate to believe someone would take pleasure in another's misery as much as she would.

“Marietta told us about the D.A. sign-up sheet.”

“You’re in touch with Marietta?” Your heart leaps.

“Oh yeah. We’re desperate for her to come here but she knows she’s more useful on the inside.”

The inside. Marietta was playing her part so well that she had to watch her boyfriend being thrown into Azkaban with a straight face.

“Umbridge kept the D.A. sign-up sheet after all that time. You can imagine it was a bit of a shock for Marietta when she saw it.”

You imagine Marietta clearly in a lurid, pink office. In your head it’s identical to Umbridge’s office at Hogwarts, with fluffy kittens on decorative plates, their big, blue eyes watching as she rifled through drawers and found the cursed piece of parchment that scarred her for life.

“So we framed you… again. Marietta wrote your name on the paper.”

You nod. You had guessed that already.

“And then, well, I think you know the rest. My dad agreed to the plan - it was his idea to have me wipe his memory so that when they interrogate him he won’t know anything. And since your wand is gone, he said you could have his.”

“He did?” Your opinion of his dad softens slightly. It was extremely risky to have your memory modified. And his wand…

McLaggen nods. “Well, he can order a new one from overseas - Ollivander went missing too over the summer. Did you see him in Azkaban?”

You shake your head.

“Well, in that case, nobody knows where he is. And that brings us to here.”

You both lie quietly for a while staring at the ceiling as the sea laps gently against the cliffside - it’s peaceful, nothing like the waves crashing mercilessly against the rocks of Azkaban.

“What coast is that? Where even is ‘here’?”

“Do you want to see? There’s a good view from the top.”

The two of you get up and you follow McLaggen back out to the hallway. He points his wand and a step ladder drops down, leading to the top of the lighthouse.

“You first,” he says.

You raise your eyebrow.

“Not like that - it’s just steep.”

“Yeah, yeah…” You say and you take hold of the rungs.

“Well, I’m not complaining,” he says, watching your skirt disappear up and over onto the top floor.

When you get to your feet and see the view your breath hitches in your throat. You can’t remember the last time you saw this many colours. The sun has almost set completely by now. It gleams on the deep blue water, crimson light bouncing off the white cliffs.

“Is this… are we in Dover?”

McLaggen nods. “Yep, and that’s the English Channel.”

You look to the west and wonder if Carmichael is watching the sunset too.

“Why didn’t you pull Eddie out? I mean, I’m grateful you helped me. And I’m not blaming you. But his name was on the D.A. sheet too.”

“I know,” sighs McLaggen. “But I’ll say the same thing to you that I said to Marietta - if my dad had requested Umbridge to call both of you out for questioning, she would have sent more Ministry people to escort him. It would’ve been too difficult to pull off with both of you wandless.”

“Well, at least we’ve got a nice place to hide out while we think of a plan.”

McLaggen stays quiet.

“I mean, we’re getting Carmichael out too, right?”

He sighs heavily. “It was really the kind of plan that only works once.”

“Cormac, we need to do something.”

“I want to. But I’m all out of ideas. One breakout was nearly impossible but two? I don’t think it can be done.”

You chew your lip. If there was an obvious way to break someone out of Azkaban, you probably would have thought of it already.

McLaggen stands behind you as you look out to the horizon and slips his arms around your waist from behind. The way his warm body feels enveloped around you soothes you, making you feel safer than any protective enchantment.

He rests his chin on top of your head. “If you look over there -“ he points “- you can sometimes see France when it’s bright and clear.”

“It makes you forget how close it is, really. I’ve only ever seen it in old World War Two photos, y’know? All the little ships of Dunkirk going over.”

“The what?”

“You’ve never heard of Dunkirk?” You tilt your head up to look at him. “Oh, I’m not doing the story justice but basically, during the war, there were hundreds of thousands of British soldiers trapped on the beach at Dunkirk just… there.”

You point out to the East.

“The German Army was approaching from land, keeping them on the beach. And the water was too shallow for British destroyers to get near enough to rescue them. Big warships - do you know what they are?”

“A warship? Yeah, it’s pretty self-explanatory,” he grins.

“Right, sorry, anyway, all those soldiers were just stuck. So the Muggle Ministry put out a call for help to anyone who had a boat that could be used in shallow water. Loads of civilians turned up in canal boats, fishing boats, sailing boats - anyone and everyone who had a boat. Hundreds and hundreds of them went from England to France to start ferrying the soldiers back. Getting them all to safety.”

As you stand looking across the channel, you can picture all the little boats going out. The relief the soldiers must have felt when they saw help at last. The same overwhelming relief you felt when you saw you were standing in McLaggen’s parent’s house.

“That was brave of them.”

“Yeah.” You wipe your eye with the sleeve of your jumper. “Sorry, I keep welling up. I think I’m tired.”

“It’s a nice story. And you don’t need to keep apologising.”

McLaggen holds you tight against him while you watch the sun finally disappear into the sea. He kisses the top of your head. Your stomach grumbles.

“I’ve just realised I’m starving.”

“Do you want me to bring you some toast?”

Toast. It’s been so long since you thought about real food that you almost forgot about your favourite thing to eat. But he didn’t.

“I made sure we had plenty of bread for you coming back-”

The tiny gesture is the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard.

You turn and stop his train of thought with a kiss. You can’t help yourself. You link your arms around his neck and stand on your tiptoes to suck his bottom lip. He pulls you close by your hips, pressing his warm body into yours like a giant comfort blanket. When Cormac’s tongue enters your mouth, he does so tentatively, gently, as if worried he might be overstepping.

He isn’t.

His hands wander down the curve of your back and with more urgency than either of you had expected, you push him backwards to the cushioned window seat so you can straddle him.

Everything below your waist throbs. Burning, searing friction lights up your nerve endings as you sit on his lap. It’s the best feeling you’ve felt on your skin in two months.

You pause, pressing your forehead against his, lips barely touching and just breathing each others’ air. A sigh escapes your lips when feel his cock twitch under his jeans, pressing against your soaking-wet underwear.

He breathes deeply. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

“I thought that was just your wand in your pocket.”

He lets out an amused exhale and looks down between your bodies. “Sorry. You’ve barely been here two minutes. I shouldn’t -”

“You should.”

“Do you feel okay?” His eyes find yours again, full of concern.

“No,” you say truthfully. “But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to fuck me.” Your hands find his belt buckle and he takes a deep, steadying breath. “Didn’t you miss me?” You tease softly.

He cups your face and your working hands pause when you look at him. “I missed you, alright. But you were just crying thinking about boats.”

“I’m just - I’m scared something will happen and we won’t get to do this again.”

“We will. You’re safe here.” He brushes a strand of wet hair from your face. “We’re safe here.”

And you do feel safe here. With him. You kiss his neck, inhaling his heady scent that reminds you so vividly of that first Potions lesson with him. When you realised that you didn’t hate Cormac McLaggen. Not even a little bit.

Your hips push against his, chasing the friction of his cock against your clit. His hands grip the sides of your thighs, digging into your flesh and pulling you tight against him.

It feels like half of you has been missing. You never thought you’d feel his touch like this again.

There wasn’t a moment in Azkaban where you ever thought about sex. It was like the whole concept of sexuality disappeared into the void. In the dark, damp cell there were no sneaky thoughts of touching yourself or pleasant dreams of a romantic reunion with Cormac. Just emptiness. All-consuming, never-ending emptiness. At your lowest moments part of you thought you’d never deserve to feel like this again.

His grip loosens on you and you realise you’ve stopped moving your hips. It’s only when his lips meet the wet corner of your eye that you even register you’re crying.

“Hey… I think you need sleep. And food,” he murmurs in your ear.

You nod, pulling back to wipe your eyes again. His eyebrows raise a bit as he studies your tired face.

“Why don’t you go to bed and I’ll bring you something?”

It’s tempting. You’re, frankly, exhausted. But by McLaggen’s account, they’ve all spent the past few weeks holed up here cooking up a plan to get you out of Azkaban. The least you can do is show your face.

“It’s okay. I’ll come down with you. See the rest of them.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie, Leanne and Cho lift their heads up when they hear two sets of footsteps coming downstairs.

“Hi,” you say, slightly awkwardly after your last entrance but the way Cho looks at you makes you feel less nervous. She pats the chair beside her. Your best friend doesn’t need to ask how you’re doing. She just knows.

“Feeling better?” asks Katie with a sympathetic smile and you nod, not sure how to verbalise the mix up of emotions inside your head.

You sit beside Cho at the kitchen table and lean your head on her shoulder while McLaggen busies himself, making you toast.

“Is it just the four of you? Have you heard news from anywhere else?”

“Just us. We’ve had bits of news here and there. Oliver Wood and a couple of others are hiding out in Puddlemere,” says Katie. “The whole league’s been called off.”

“It has?” You brighten up a bit at this. For weeks you had been imagining Cerys leading the Holyhead Harpies to a gloating victory.

“Yeah - there were riots in the crowds when players started disappearing. Gone into hiding or worse.”

“What about any Ravenclaws?” You lift your head and ask Cho. “Any sign of them?”

“Last I heard Rodger Davies was still living in France, playing Quidditch for Lyon. Probably best he keeps it that way.”

“And Hufflepuff? What about Smith?” you ask Leanne.

You don’t fail to notice how McLaggen pauses buttering your toast briefly at the mention of Zacharias Smith so he can listen in.

“Nope, we’ve heard nothing,” says Leanne and he resumes. “Not even on Potterwatch.”

“Potterwatch?”

“Lee Jordan does this show on the Wizarding Wireless Network. It’s all underground, top secret so it’s pretty unpredictable trying to find out when it’s on but we still check the radio every night.”

“What about Potter, Weasley and Granger?”

“Well,” says McLaggen, pulling up a chair on your other side and placing the plate of toast in front of you. “We think they were responsible for the Ministry break-in but the Ministry don’t want to admit it.”

Your stomach growls again and you pick up the buttery toast gratefully. It smells like heaven. And it’s hot - the first hot food you’ve had in a long time.

“So what else have you been up to?” you ask and take a bite out of the corner.

“Aside from getting you out of Azkaban?” asks McLaggen with a wry smile. You squeeze his leg with your free hand apologetically. “Well, we stay inside the perimeter of the Fidelius Charm as much as we can. Leanne’s popped out once to the local muggle shop to get food but we’re careful not to use magic or draw attention to ourselves.”

“Cormac volunteered to go but was so blown away by paper money we thought it best that I went instead,” explains Leanne.

“It doesn’t make any sense. What’s the difference between that and a piece of parchment? And the shape of the coins? Muggle money is just plain weird.”

Muggles.

“Oh my god, my parents…” You almost drop your toast.

“It’s alright, they know you’re safe,” says Cho. “We sent them an owl.”

“An owl? Whose?”

“Yours. They sent you a letter when I was still at mine and we’ve been writing back and forth. They know the basics - that you were wrongfully arrested and we were trying to get you out. I didn’t want to frighten them with the details,” says McLaggen.

You nod. “Thank you.”

There’ll be plenty of time to tell them later. When all of this is over.

If it’s ever over.

You look around the vast, circular kitchen, wondering how long you’ll have to stay here. If there will ever be an end to this regime. And then your eyes find something you thought you’d never see again, in a pile by the back door.

“Is that my broom?” Your heart sings. More than losing your wand, you worried if you’d ever see your Cleansweep Eleven again.

“Yeah, I brought them with our stuff. We can’t fly too high or outside the boundary but I thought you might want it here.”

You recognise the singed tail of McLaggen’s Nimbus 2001 and notice Cho’s too. The other two must be Katie and Leanne’s. Suddenly you feel excitement bubbling in your stomach as an idea, a very stupid, reckless idea forms in your mind.

“Do you remember the mass breakout from Azkaban last year?” You clear your throat, trying to steady your voice. “How did You-Know-Who get all those Death Eaters out?”

“No idea,” says McLaggen. “And trust me, we’ve thought about it a lot. Azkaban is impossible to find. It’s unplottable.”

“Like here?”

“Not exactly. There are protective charms of some kind but there can’t be a Secret Keeper - too many people know about it. Too many employees going in and out.”

“Would it still be unplottable if you’d been inside it?”

They look at each other uncertainly.

“I’m not sure…” says Cho, thoughtfully. “I mean, Leanne, you were able to find your way back here after you left the boundary, right?”

“Yeah, it sprung right up,” says Leanne.

You feel your hands trembling so you put down your toast. “You three all went to Muggle primary schools, right?”

Leanne, Katie and Cho look at each other confused. They nod.

“What do you know about Dunkirk?”

Chapter 14: Preparations

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