#they are either too young or the wrong gender- if you're not a woman in her 30s it's not for you? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aberrant-angel · 24 days

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can i ask you to elaborate on what being ageless means? to you? i think it's really interesting (and i don't want to rely on google info i think it will be wrong) (i'm a little this is very genuine)

thank you for the question!

i think age shares a lot of similarities with gender/sex, which is something you'll get absolutely dogpiled for saying in the wrong company, but it's true. people mistakenly conflate chronological measurements of how much time has passed since you were born with the role you're expected to fulfill based on your perceived age, how you're supposed to talk, how you're supposed to dress, how people will expect your mind to work, etc. just like you are assigned a gender you are expected to perform, you are also expected to behaviourally and aesthetically perform your age as a role.

also just like with biological sex there's a bunch of weird essentialist pseudoscience surrounding age, for example the pervasive myth of "brain development" (often used as a justification for denying rights to younger people) like how people will claim your brain isn't fully finished until you're 25. it's all nonsense and has been repeatedly disproven.

for me, i don't really feel like i fit in with "adults", i don't really feel like i fit in with "kids", i don't feel "old" or "young" consistently, i don't feel like i slot neatly into anywhere on the range of ages you're supposed to be. i'm "mature" about some things and "childish" about others. sometimes i feel younger, sometimes i feel older, often i don't feel like any age at all and more like some kind of creature detached from human ideas of age. like, it's funny to call an animal "little boy" or "old woman" or that kind of thing, right? because there's an absurdity to it, because of course animals don't have a concept of age like that, just like they don't have a concept of gender in the way humans do either. it's largely a social construct, even if people are uncomfortable openly acknowledging that.

how i feel about my age all depends on context and my mental state. i've heard other people express similar sentiments to me, although they're usually scared to explicitly use a label like "ageless" (or "transage" or "chronosian" or any similar terms,) but neurodivergency, dissociative conditions, plurality, and trauma, (among other things,) seems to often play a role in it. the main thing that actually separates people by age is how much experience they have had the possibility to collect over the course of their life, but i don't even remember most of mine. did i ever really "grow up" in a normal way then? it's complicated. (kind of a tangent but people casually use phrases like "growing up too fast" or having "childlike development" etc. in a psychological context but then suddenly when someone acknowledges such things as a genuine part of their own experience, it's looked down on. very interesting!)

think about it like this: would people that don't know my age treat me differently if they knew i was 17? or if they knew i just lied in the previous sentence and i'm actually 25? or if it was revealed that all of these are wrong and my real age is 50? should it matter? i'm still the same person regardless. i just don't want to be constrained by other people's perceptions on me. like if someone treats me like an equal, or exposes me to "mature" topics, or thinks of me as knowledgeable, or any of these other things people do that are often based on a person's perceived age, that should actually be based on who i really am as a person and not something as abstracted as how many times the earth has rotated around the sun since i was born. (people make fun of astrology but still believe in age as a real thing lmao)

sorry for this massive half-coherent ramble but i have a lot of thoughts about it that i've never really sat down and laid out like this, i'm sure by the time i hit "post" on this i'll have thought of even more to add... anyway to anyone who says "you just don't want to identify with your age because you want to abuse kids" i'll say they sound exactly like the same people who tell me the reason i don't identify with my assigned gender is because i want to assault women in female-only spaces. i shouldn't have to defend my identity from bad-faith interpretations of it. (not that you're doing that anon, you were very nice and respectful, but i know some people will read all this and think that way) (also funny of them to automatically assume i'm not chronologically a "kid" lol. some people who experience age differently are legally minors)

#asks

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yanderes-galore · 11 months

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oooh can you write a yandere concept for the Huntress (dbd)?

Decided to merge the two to get two requests done due to her acting similar in the two situations. Takes place pre-fog.

Yandere! The Huntress (Anna) Concept

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Kidnapping, Dubious relationship, Violence, Murder, Animalistic behavior, Forced companionship, Restraints, Vomit mention, Gore, Clingy behavior, Overprotective behavior, Blood, Possessive behavior, Stockholm syndrome, Delusional behavior.

When it comes to Anna I feel she doesn't entirely know the difference between platonic and romantic feelings.

Think about it, she's lived isolated out in the woods without people at a young age.

When she still had her mother she only had her mother so she most likely doesn't know how couples work.

Which means her yandere obsession is most likely always dubious.

This is why she acts the same no matter her yandere type.

Her darling would have to educate her on the difference... and I highly doubt you're doing that willingly.

For the most part Anna has one goal when she sees her darling, regardless on if it's before the fog or after.

She wants to take you in and care for you.

Part of what drives her yandere tendencies is her motherly nature.

In her backstory, Anna is shown to be a relentless hunter yet also yearned to take care of others.

How the obsession starts is most likely with her stalking you.

Anna's presence is unnerving, even when stalking her prey she hums an eerie tune.

Anna could be an "obsession at first sight" yandere.

The moment you're in her sights she doesn't stop hunting you.

I like to imagine Anna as very animal-like.

She's a predator, one who knows how to hunt like an animal.

With her time in the forest she's learned how to hunt from the wildlife around her and the teaching from her mother.

I can see her hiding behind trees while stalking her darling, the bunny mask hiding her true intentions.

Anna could stalk you for a long time.

The huntress likes to watch you...

You aren't like other prey.

Anna has killed humans before, that isn't very new to her.

If you came into her territory with others around you then she'll most likely target those people first.

By the time you realize you are being watched it's already too late when it comes to her.

All you can hear is screaming.

Anna doesn't see murder as wrong.

She just sees killing humans as hunting.

In fact she doesn't see most of her obsession as wrong.

That doesn't make her innocent, however.

There's no slowly easing you into her obsession either.

When you meet Anna, it's disturbing.

Screams echo through the trees and blood is splattered on the ground.

When you come across the remains of your friends there's no doubt you panic, bile threatening to dribble past your lips at the grisly sight.

Anna likes to play around with the corpses.

Or maybe she mutilated these ones for a specific reason?

The bodies are gouged and you can see organs within the pooling blood.

You quickly come to the realization this is no animal.

Then... Anna steps into view.

Her hatchets are covered in blood, in fact, she herself is covered head to toe in blood.

The blood of your friends...

Quite soon, maybe even the blood of you.

You two just stare at each other when you finally meet.

You look like a scared animal... she looks like an apex predator.

Then... the masked woman crouches before pouncing

You think your life is coming to an end when she pins you to the ground, restraining you.

You think she's going to bury one of her sharp axes into you.

She never does.

Instead... the huntress hums.

It's a tune that's meant to be soothing most likely.

But it comes off as creepy.

It's like this murderer is trying to soothe you.

She is.

After all... it's been awhile since she had company in her cabin.

All the rest died....

So, yes, this is how you both first meet.

Your entire group is butchered and Anna restrains you in her cabin.

Anna's obsession is immediate.

She is a yandere who is quick to cling to her darling.

Once she captures you she treats you like some sort of doll or child.

For some reason she has a very nurturing nature.

You'd think as a killer Anna is sadistic.

Surprisingly, not really.

During the hunt she may be a bit playful and sadistic with prey, but not with her darling.

She never intends to harm her darling on purpose when she has them.

If the restraints are too tight, tell her.

If you aren't careful she may accidentally suffocate you with the ropes-

Anna really doesn't know any better but that does not excuse her behavior.

It's unknown if she sees you as your own person.

She treats you like you're helpless and need her to survive.

In the situation she put you in... that's close to the truth.

Anna is a killer who really gives into being and animal with her desires.

She hunts for you and brings home various prey.

She needs to feed her baby, right?

Anna will also find gifts to give you on her little "expeditions".

It's most likely a stolen trinket of some sort that she stole from a human she's killed.

Anna is always wearing some sort of animal mask around you.

It's not always a rabbit, sometimes it's another animal of some sort.

Anna likes physical affection the most when it comes to her darling.

She likes to wrap herself around you and hum.

She is comforted by your warmth and hopes she comforts you too.

She doesn't.

At night Anna may move her darling in a way for her to spoon them.

It's a protective position and she likes that it makes you secure in her arms.

Anna is very protective of her darling.

You could make the argument that she's possessive, too, like an animal defending their territory.

Everything about her screams animal.

From the brutal way she hunts prey to the way she nuzzles into your hand when you touch her face...

It's hard to see her as human like you.

Your rescue is a feat that's nearly impossible.

If humans get too close to her cabin then Anna is already dealing with them.

Being an expert at hunting and stalking, all she has to do is throw one hatchet...

Then the deed is done.

If someone puts up a fight you can hear her growls as she defends her territory.

She'd protect you in her cabin with every ounce of her being.

There's a good chance you will either give into stockholm syndrome or die due to poor living conditions.

Two unsettling outcomes... but they are the most likely.

Anna might be able to be tolerable if you taught her.

She's a bit naive and doesn't understand human relationships much.

Any type of them.

Anna actually listens rather intently when you tell her knowledge.

She likes to learn from you.

Although she is much more of a... hands on learner?

If you developed stockholm syndrome and reciprocate Anna's affection, she's ecstatic.

Anna loves that you care for her as she does you!

Soon, you might not even need the restraints!

If you ever died, Anna would mourn.

She'd mourn for a long time...

That is until a new human target arrives...

Then her obsession starts anew... it's a never-ending cycle of infatuation for Anna.

#yandere dead by daylight #yandere dbd #yandere the huntress #yandere dbd the huntress #yandere dbd huntress

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incorrect-web-novels · 5 months

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It's making me slightly insane how some ppl are seemingly trying to "correct" the idea that Mianmian was discriminated against for being a woman when she questioned the prevailing narrative that Wei Wuxian was killing indiscriminately.

Suddenly, someone sneered, "You can stop arguing. We don't want to hear the comments of someone who has other motives."

The woman's face flushed. She raised her voice, "Explain things. What do you mean I have other motives?"

The person replied, "There's no need for me to say anything. You know, deep down, and we know too. You fell for him back in the cave of the Xuanwu just because he flirted with you? You're still arguing for him, calling white black no matter how irrational it is. Ha, women will always be women."

- Exiled Rebels, Recklessness (2)

"Who does she think she is... leaving as she pleases? Who cares? What's she doing this to prove?"

Soon, some began to agree, "Women will always be women. They quit just after you say a few harsh words. She'll definitely come back on her own, a couple of days later."

"There's no doubt. After all, she finally managed to turn from the daughter of a servant to a disciple, haha..."

- Exiled Rebels, Recklessness (2)

This is right after Lan Wangji directly contradicts Jin Guangshan's version of Wei Wuxian's confrontation at the banquet in search of Wen Ning & is awkwardly brushed off:

Suddenly, an indifferent voice spoke up, "No."

Jin GuangShan was in the middle of his fabrication. Hearing this, he paused in surprise, turning along with the crowd to see who it was.

Lan WangJi sat with his back straight, speaking in a tone of absolute tranquility, "I did not hear Wei Ying say this. I did not hear him express the slightest disrespect towards Sect Leader Jiang either."

Lan WangJi rarely spoke when he was outside. Even when they debated cultivation techniques during Discussion Conferences, he only answered when others questioned or challenged him. With utmost concision, he overcame, without fault, the lengthy arguments of others. Apart from this, he almost never spoke up. And thus, when Jin GuangShan was interrupted by him, he experienced a far greater shock than annoyance. But after all, his fabrication was exposed right in front of so many. He felt a bit awkward.

The good thing was that, not long after he felt awkward, Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, "Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can't remember them either."

His memory could only be equal to Lan WangJi's, if not better. As soon as he heard it, Nie MingJue knew that he was fibbing on purpose, frowning slightly

Jin GuangShan followed the transition, "That's right. Anyhow, his attitude has always been arrogant."

- Exiled Rebels, Recklessness (2)

The focus of this scene is the double standards between a male heir to a prominent sect and a female disciple born from a servant - gender and social class. It is more than clear that Wei Wuxian and Mianmian are being looked down upon for "stepping out of line" due to their lineage (as well as Mianmian for her gender).

Like, there are other factors at play in this scene, and I'm a big fan of alternative interpretations, but it's not wrong to say Mianmian is being a fucking badass in this scene by questioning and rebuking bigots, even if there's no real "reckoning" or retribution for said bigots. It was one of - if not the - most memorable scenes for me, and it’s driving me a little nuts seeing ppl trying to "Um, Actually" it

#not a quote #mdzs #mianmian #luo qingyang #meta #mdzs meta #I get characterization and scenes wrong all the time so no hate really meant #and I do see how this can be interpreted as a more tragic scene than a girlboss scene #but I'm not wrong lol. also it was very brave so I do consider her a girlboss in a bad situation. maybe just not that word idk #idk what the common consensus on this scene is tbh. but if I don't talk about it I might scream #my posts #sexism #misogyny #social classism #<-idk what the exact word is #discourse

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autisticlee · 5 months

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i've noticed that there's always a lot of discourse about trying on labels like for sexuality and gender for example. people saying if you dont know, don't claim am identity. people complaining about people using labels lying and being fakes. complaining when someone changes their lable/identity.

you even see it in conservatives who whine and cry about gender and sexuality saying stuff like "you can't know that yet/you're too young/what if it changes/you can't just decide now and change later" and seeing queer people say the same things can be super discouraging and alienating.

because the thing is, humans do change. It's a natural phenomenon we can't do anything about. it's perfectly ok to feel one way now and then realize you feel differently later on. it can be because life experiences changed who you, or you realize/discover something, or etc.

also, how will someone know who/what they are without trying things out to see what fits? to see what feels right? not everyone just KNOWS who they are or what they want or how they feel automatically. telling people they can't experiment to see what works does nothing but alienate them and make them feel even more lost and alone.

i know it's a bit more of a touchy and difficult subject and im debating adding it in, but I see a similar discourse for example in the autistic community where people try to gatekeep the identity for only "officially diagnosed" people. (I was trying to think of something else that's not only gender/sexuality because my whole point should apply to more than just queer identities but this is all I could think of atm) i've seen it in other communities as well (mental or physical illnesses and disabilities and stuff for example) you have to relate to an identity basically, in order to bring it to a doctor. usually a doctor won't just say "oh you have this!" on their own; you have to tell the doctor "I think I have this" and sometimes it takes you years of research to figure out things yourself (because we all know doctors can be useless at times) by that point, if someone is putting that much time into a thing, there less chance of them faking it. if they think they have a disorder like DID but don't, then they still need help. but there shouldn't be so much aggression towards people who get evaluated or reevaluated and realize they were wrong. it's actually ok to be wrong and correct yourself later, contrary to popular belief. 1 or 19 or even 100 people being wrong doesn't mean we should let that reflect on *everyone* and let people with ill intent call everyone a "faker"

even if it turns out you were wrong, there's no real harm in trying on things until you reach a final conclusion. it's other people's opnions and reactions to it that are the harmful part.

[imagine if you had to guess what clothes and shoes would fit you, look good on you, and feel good without trying them on, you have to decide on one only, and then you have to keep wearing only those clothes and shoes after that and can never change out of them. that's so silly, right?]

sometimes you have to make guesses about your identity first and get confirmation later. sometimes you guess that you are a cishet man and date a cishet woman and realize a few years into the relationship that you are actually a trans lesbian. It's perfectly fine and normal to change after some time! we all need to not gatekeep and instead support each other. accept each other either way.

if someone feels they are trans for years and transitions and then realizes they are actually nonbinary and maybe slides into a more androgynous state or even stops transition or detransitions, don't call them fake! if someone is aroace and then starts dating, realizing they felt that way due to trauma in the past but were able to heal from it, don't call then a fraud! if a lesbian falls in love with a man and realizes she's actually bi, don't say she lied or tricked you!

yes, I know that there's often stigmas and stereotypes about changing. the whole "it's just a phase" thing for example. or accusing people of "following a trend." and the whole fact that the phobes always try to force their harmful belief that these identities are a "choice" and "choosing" them is wrong. change can mimic "a choice," but change does not always equal choice! someone changing does NOT always mean they are choosing something different. many times in life change isn't a choice!!! the fact that reflects poorly on the lables/communities by those who already have a bias against them is what needs change.

but that's the thing. that's precisely what i'm saying. we need to break down those stigmas around change. so what if it's a "phase" ???? why can't someone have an experience for a short time and then change it later due to whatever reason or circumstances? why can't someone try something out and then realize it's not right later on? why do we have to decide on a label or identity for life while still trying to figure out who we are? why is someone naturally changing or realizing something about themselves considered lying and fake? why do we let other people's bad opinions create stigmas and stereotypes around everything and then let that dictate everything we do? instead of gatekeeping and hurting potential new community members, why can't we break down those stereotypes and stigmas instead? instead of shaming people who try out your lables, why not shame and demonize the people that throw stereotypes and stigmas at you just because someone else is trying to figure out who they are still????? why let haters dictate how you treat others?

choose the right battles. fight the right people.

#lee rambles #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer #what do i tag this as???? too many words. brain tired from words and cant think of tags now #maybe those few will be fine for now #i hope this ramble made sense. it was hard to put into words. so not sure if it came across correctly or not #took forever to write. dont feel like proofreading. apologies for any typos or mistakes

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waterfall-ambience · 9 months

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You're too kind! I love hearing you talk about stuff, especially with Perpetua! xD

I was reading through Act 2 and the part in chapter seventeen was too cute, they are such dorks! Love their friendship! :]

If It's okay I want to ask some questions not from the prompt, feel free to ignore this if you don't want to because this will be a lot coming from me...

With Avery when did he know he was trans and how did he struggle with his gender? I know in the doc you wrote about him using they/them for a period and then going by he/him. In terms of gender and identity, how's Perpetua about it world-wise? (Hopefully, I worded that right I just mean in a worldbuilding sense if the place is accepting about people's identity and orientation though considering its literal captain is bi, I'd say yes? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Question about Cap Luna and Damien, is there anything they do similarity-wise with habits and mannerisms? Also if anyone compared the two to each other, how would they react?

Hehe thank you for your kind message! I'm so glad Perpetua, in the form it's currently in, managed to bring at least one person some amount of joy :] Please, feel free to ask me any questions, give comments, feedback- anything! :D

Yeah, Perpetua is quite accepting of people’s identities! It’s been that way for most of its history, especially compared to the ‘outside world’. That’s not to say it never had any work to do or boundaries to push, but the guiding principles of being accepting and kind to others has served it well in the long-term.

(This was mostly a thing that emerged from Luna’s leadership and the circumstances that led to it. Edward was ambition and power before all else- Perpetua would’ve been very different had he remained as captain.)

With Avery, I imagine that he started feeling uncomfortable with the idea of growing up into a woman around the time he was going to hit/just hit puberty (so like, 8-9). Minerva hit puberty at around that age, so she was already preparing to give him the Talk about growing up and what that means. Other people started noticing that he was getting taller, but all-around he was getting more comments of how he was going to grow into ‘a fine young lady’ and he didn't know how to feel about it.

At the time, he was already considered to be ‘a bit of a tomboy’ but he hadn’t thought much about it. As far as anyone was concerned, he was just a little girl who liked swords and knights and ninjas and stuff. Minerva just assumed his discomfort was from a general fear of growing up, and she assured him that there wasn’t anything wrong with not doing ‘girly’ things.

He didn’t know how to resolve this for a while. After talking about his anxieties to his mother, some of Perpetua’s doctors and queer members, the Tan’s decided course of action was to give Avery puberty blockers until he was prepared to go through with it, with the option of giving him HRT once he’s older if he turned out to be trans. Perpetua was a safe space to experiment with gender identity, and with its resources, social and medical transition could be easy enough.

Avery spent some time as a GNC girl (‘maybe I’m just a tomboy!’, effectively changing nothing) and a nonbinary kid (‘maybe I like being seen as something else?’) until eventually realising that he just liked being seen as a boy. This was around the time Chapter 2 took place, though he didn’t start using he/him until a bit after the reading scene.

In regards to the medical transition side of things, I’m honestly not sure where Avery would be in the current arc. I want to say that he’s either just started HRT or will start in the next year or two. Perpetua plays by different rules than our world in that it’s much smaller + Avery can bypass the bureaucratic aspects of the modern healthcare system + transphobia is nowhere near as prevalent. However, from a meta perspective, there’s not a lot of information on starting HRT before the age of 16 (if anyone could link me to a study I would love to read it!), so I’m keeping that part ambiguous for now.

Similar Habits between Luna and Damien:

With these two, I don’t actually have a written-out list of habits that they share. Part of this is because despite what they believe, Damien isn’t really a clone of Luna. He was, at some point, now he’s much closer to being a copy of Augustin.

I try to treat them more like foils or parallel characters rather than extensions of each other. Because of drastic differences in age & circumstances, most of the similarities between them are more internal & personality-based than anything else (they’re kind, introspective, tend to blame themselves for things, feel their emotions very strongly, etc.).

From the habits and mannerisms that they do share, a lot of it is quite minor. They’re liable to pace back and forth / leg bounce when they’re nervous, they sit up straight around other people and hardly ever break eye contact in conversation. They roll their eyes like 🔄 rather than ↕️. When they find something they like (eg a product, an ice cream flavour, a specific way of doing things), they will stick to it, and are unlikely to try something different. They would listen to the same song / 2-3 songs on repeat for hours. They regularly crack their fingers, bathe every day, and have a tendency to smile whenever they’re uncomfortable.

However, since comparisons between both of them are inevitable, Luna’s reactions are rooted in a personal ‘goal’ to not get defensive about stuff. He’ll take the information calmly, perhaps laugh it off, ask for clarification and evaluate any new information + introspection before accepting/ politely rejecting the comment.

With Damien, his overall reactions aren’t too different, but he’s not great at remaining stoic so you WILL see it on his face. He probably won’t take offence (or, if he does, he plays it more as a joke), but he’s definitely going to internalise it for a while regardless if it’s a positive or negative comment.

#asks #globeland perpetua #sorry this took a while but ily ily ily #beams hearts at you <3 <3 <3 <3

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balkanradfem · 2 years

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Thought I'd bring this here instead of derailing the herbal discussion. XD I’ve honestly never been too attractive by either “woman in her 30s” or “man in his 50s” standards, but I’ve actually kind of made that my thing. I’m a teacher, and female beauty standards in Korea are pretty insane. So me being unashamedly fat, aging, and ugly out here is a bit of a revolutionary concept for the little girls that I’ve taught. “What’s so wrong about being ugly? Does it make me a bad person? No. Am I going to JAAAAAIIIIILLLL for being ugly? No. It just means I have all of that time in the morning to sleep instead of fighting with hair and makeup. I hate makeup anyway."

The little girls appreciate this. The little boys suddenly realize just how much work it takes to be a “proper” woman in Korea and start to rethink their roles in that system. I once almost had a riot of 2nd graders break out when I showed the girls how my very un-feminist (insert eyeroll here because HOW ARE TRADITIONALY FEMININE SKILLS UNFEMINIST WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL) sewing skills put pockets in my skirts... and the boys learned that most of those floofy dresses the girls wore didn't have those. They were horrified that something they had taken so much for granted was denied their friends, based entirely on gender. They were also upset that their fathers had made fun of women for carrying purses around when they didn't have any other way to carry things.

At that age, a lot of the patriarchal bullshit hasn't quite taken hold yet, and I work hard to get them to question it all. Maybe in 20 years or so things will be better for women here, you know?

Welcome to my inbox!

I have nothing but respect for choosing to rest, rejoice and live rather than to worry about appearance! I would not think a woman who is unashamedly fat or daring to be a certain age ugly, but I understand that in this social environment, it's considered revolutionary to dare to do that and not be sorry. I love it so much what you did, you showed those impressionable girls there's more options than one, there's more ways to live than by conforming and sacrificing your time and energy for the sake of looking decorative.

I'm also really sorry the standards in your country are so rigid and unforgiving of female freedom, it must be jarring for any woman who lives there to be subjected to such unnatural and freedom-taking practices, you must be like a breath of fresh air to anyone who's being suffocated by the propaganda.

Everyone thinks feminine skills are silly but they actually make useful things happen! You're teaching awesome things to these kids, and I'm sure they will benefit from it their entire lives, and questioning the system so young will make them strong. I really hope things do get better, keep fighting, and we'll do the same!

Can't wait to be powerful like you are :)

#radical feminism #forced standards #korean feminism #feminism #female standards of beauty #women standing up to the system #women being free

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genderqueerdykes · 1 year

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Hey - sorry if this is weirdly personal (on my end, that is!) but I’m a nonbinary trans masc individual. I’m an adult, I work and pay rent and get exhausted with property management companies when they won’t fix my broken heating system. I came out to my mother when I was 12-13 - although since I wasn’t online and didn’t have many friends who were either I didn’t know about the term nonbinary - and told her I ‘didn’t feel like I was a girl.’

I’m wanting to come out. Getting mis gendered everyday sucks, not being seen sucks and so much is outside my realm of control that this one little thing, to tell people ‘Actually I’m not a woman at all, here’s my pronouns and name thanks’ is the dream. It’s something I can conceivably do! Except I feel old. I feel old and on top of that I feel like I would lose a lot of my connections both personally and professionally. My unofficial job is doing video game and animation voice acting. The only people to whom I’m out irl are my cousin and one of the animators I work with. They’re lovely but they’re only two people. Lately my problems with gender have increased exponentially and the only gender therapist in my COUNTY said ‘Yes young women tend to distance themselves from their womanhood when they’ve been mistreated by men’ (I’m paraphrasing but I also don’t wanna be triggering, if you understand). And she wouldn’t help me. I don’t know what to do or if I should do anything at all! Technically I know there’s no wrong age to come out, but it feels like the more years I stay in the closet the harder it’s gonna be when I do - and I really want to, it’s chewing me up. I’m scared, I suppose, especially since I don’t “look” nonbinary/trans masc (according to my image issues and quite a few younger people I’ve met in the community who say I’ve got it easy since nobody knows I’m trans). I don’t know, I’m already rambling on enough. Do you have any advice, anything at all? I’ll take it. If not, totally get it, it’s a long winded message.

Either way, have a lovely evening and enjoy yourself. Cheers!

damn dude... i get a lot of messages like this and they really speak to me, because i was once a closeted transmasc nonbinary person from a very small rural area (the town i was born in/the towns i lived in afterward were all around 1,000 people in terms of population) itching and trying so hard to come out but not knowing where to start or what to do

i wanted to say that i'm very sorry that it's so hard for you to come out, especially considering that your job involves your voice. that must be so difficult. i was trying to get into voice acting before i transitioned and people were trying so hard to get me to record lines before i started T and it was causing so much dysphoria. i understand how hard that must be

this might sound really weird, but hear me out. if you aren't sure if you can socially transition, if you're not comfortable coming out to a group of friends or family or whatever yet, come out to yourself. whenever you're alone, do gender affirming things. do things in your spare time that allow you to be who you are. come out to any online friends that you have and be yourself with them, too, and be aggressive about using the correct name, identity and pronouns. i know coming out online isn't the same, but it helps when you are very adamant with it.

become comfortable with being your real self first. then you can show the people in your life who you really are. it'll be easier if you're confident when you come out. coming out as nonbinary is never easy, but if you have a good footing in who you are, and are referring to yourself by the correct name, pronouns, and presenting how you like, it'll be easy to imprint that on to others with confidence

i'd say try to find ANY queer peers in your area that you can. ANY within your age range, try to see if you can find a gay/straight, pride, or lgbt alliance, or see if there is a transgender resource center, or other transgender center. colleges will usually have some type of queer pride group and queer resources. if you are of the appropriate age, you can try to see if there are trans and drag events at local gay bars and work your way up from there. you may even have to reach out to neighboring bigger cities or even other states. i ended up moving across the country before i could have access to hormones and whatnot, to a much bigger city with a larger population.

my heart goes out to you, i hope you're able to find a way to transition that's comfortable and safe for you, that allows you to do what you need to do to achieve your happiness. if you need to take a break from your current line of work, i support that, but i also support not wanting to. you do need to do what's right for you in the end, whatever that means. i hope you can be a happier version of you, and let the world know who you are safely, and at a pace that works for you and your situation. take care, stay safe, hope to hear from you again!

#asks #answers #dysphoria #transphobia #terf rhetoric #radfem rhetoric

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mizuwolf7 · 1 year

Text

How do you tell people that being trans isn't a choice you made all at once, even if it looks that way from the outside, it's a culmination of hundreds of tiny realizations over the course of a lifetime?

It's being eight years old and convincing your friends to call you Sam until their dad catches wind of it and makes them stop. You don't know why it's such a big deal. You just think the name Sam is cool.

It's being eleven and seeing a picture of a woman with a pixie cut and realizing for the first time that women can have short hair. You ask your mom if you can get yours cut like that and she says that you might want to wait a while to make sure you actually want it that short. You go progressively shorter and shorter every haircut. You have a pixie cut by the time you're thirteen.

It's being twelve and hearing your name out of your teachers mouth makes your skin crawl and something in your stomach do a slimy flipping thing and you're not sure why. You don't ever mention it, but it never goes away.

It's being thirteen and wearing a t-shirt and basketball shorts and the old man at the tiny whole foods store goes on and on about how much you look like his grandson. You don't know why this makes you so happy, but your mom seems to think it's funny, so it must not be too awful a thing to happen.

It's being fourteen and suddenly you have boobs and you've gone up two pant sizes, seemingly overnight, and you stand in your room trying to physically push your hips back in because this is *wrong.* You start wearing jackets all the time and you don't know why. Later, you get out of the shower and pull a towel tight across your chest and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and suddenly the boobs are gone and you look like yourself again. You make plans to make a company when you're older that sells boob squishers because surely everyone else feels this way and you can't believe they haven't been invented yet. Congrats on reinventing binders.

It's being fifteen and becoming obsessed with personality tests and you find one once that's called "what gender is your brain" and feeling vindicated when it says you have a male brain. You take twenty others just to be sure.

At this point, you've never heard the word transgender. You know that people who transition from one gender to another exist, but you've never seen or talked to one. You just think you're kinda weird.

At sixteen your best friend starts making attack helicopter jokes. He doesn't really know what it's about, he just found it online somewhere and thought it was funny. You unironically laugh along because you don't get it either. Identifying as something else is a cool concept, though, as silly as the jokes seem.

At seventeen you hear about trans people properly for the first time. You hear about their relationship to their own gender and the struggles they go through to live as themselves. You're impressed and intrigued, you find these people admirable for their strength, but you're not one of them. You would've known, right?

At eighteen you read a story from the point of view of a trans person, written by a trans person who is pulling from their own experiences. You find yourself reflected in the main character, parallels with things from your childhood that you had always thought were just you being a little weird. The story describes dysphoria and you recognize it as the squirmy, crawling feeling you get sometimes when your clothes fit just a little too well or a stranger calls you young lady.

You didn't tell anyone about any of this, it was all just you being a little weird, so there was nothing to tell. From the outside, it looks like you heard the word trans and suddenly decided that that's what you are. You tell your parents and they say "how do you know?" and "that can't be right, there would've been signs." The problem is that there *were* signs, it's just that neither of you knew how to read them. There was a whole collection of moments that you remember where you would've said "I think I'm trans" if you'd had the vocabulary. There are probably hundreds more that you don't remember, little things that don't mean much individually, but all together paint a pretty clear picture.

#trans #transgender #lgbtq+#lgbt #ftm #nonbinary #enby #nb #ive been trying to figure out if im nonbinary or a transman #ive been identifying as nonbinary for awhile now #specifically agender #but ive noticed myself leaning a bit more transmasc recently

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female-malice · 11 months

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[There is no GNC gene. But there is internalized misogyny. You are not different from other women. The things you feel are the things most women feel. The older you get, the more women you meet, the more you'll realize that.]

I'm the original anon you wrote that response to btw, mentioning it since others already started responding.

i don't think anyone is born with a blank slate personality at all. the idea that it's only socialization that affects how you turn out was discredited a long time ago. there's too much human variety.

a gnc gene, in my eyes, would make you more sensitive to socialization from the opposite sex; explaining why there's tomboys and effeminate guys (is there a word for that?) who are being told off for behavior they can't control as toddlers and very young teens already. + it would make you more prone to certain behaviors over others. why would that even be strange?

things like clothes, or fashion, etc aren't related to that. you can dress every kid the same, and you'll still notice which ones act differently.

i don't know why you're trying to paint me as having all of these misogynistic views either. i never mentioned "shonen anime" or "hysterical and helpless." i've been with gender conforming women and i've never seen them in that way. i also never said i'm "better", nor am i insisting that i can't relate to other women.

and you didn't answer my question btw: why else did i grow up a tomboy then? why are some guys so incredibly effeminate as little children? why does this gay guy i used to be in middle school with "walk like a woman" when he was closeted and trying to make damn sure no one on the basketball team knew?

i've met plenty of women. i'm sure i'll meet even more as i grow older, but i highly doubt i'll suddenly find out that they were all secretly gender nonconforming or something. i don't get why it's wrong for there to be differences between all of us.

Infants do not have any inclinations whatsoever towards one gender role or another. Infants have years of arbitrary behavior that is perceived as gendered behavior by gender socialized adults. And then when infants become children, they become socialized as well. All gender socialization is about heterosexual courtship. Literally all of it. And that's why gay kids don't pick up on it. It's not because we're genetically masculine or genetically feminine. We're just not heterosexual. So we don't pay attention to heterosexual patterns the way heterosexual children do. Straight people are the ones who are more invested in gendered cultural expectations.

Also, read @toddstool reply:

"anon, gender roles are based on heterosexuality and male supremacy. kids pick up on adult behavior very quickly, and are also forced into socialization quickly. of course most homosexual child isn't going to conform to it perfectly because by their nature it doesn't make sense. a lesbian child doesn't want or need to be attractive and submissive to men. gay male children don't care about "strong masculinity" and dominating women." (x)

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sparrow-orion-writes · 10 months

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In line with the marriage ask, can we talk about 1 (family), 3 (right/rite of passage) and 6(burial)? :0

~ M <3

What is considered a normal family unit in your culture(s)?

So first we'll look at Ari, Eli, Alicia and Neptune's: their upbringing very much followed a nuclear family structure, a man and a woman, and their children. In April's culture, there's no family structure really, they follow the whole "it takes a village" ideology, everyone helps each other out, there's no-one looking down at someone having multiple sexual or romantic partners - the only real taboo relates to incest and older people with younger people. In Ember's, it was common for two people regardless of gender to be together, and that might or might not include children. There were very high miscarriage, abortion and infertlity rates where Ember grew up and many young women die during childbirth. This is generally due to a complete lack of healthcare - paid for or not. In Edward's, it was a nice mixture between April and Ari's culture - there's a lot of support from others and needing support isn't at all looked down upon, and most couples usually have one child. It's more common for a man and woman but not necessarily shunned in the society if the couple were two men or two women, or neither men nor women.

3. What does a right of passage look like in your culture(s)?

So I think Ari/Eli/Tune/Alicia's culture might be the only one with a strict rite of passage to be honest. Before I explain the rite of passage I have to explain The Void. So the Sight-Void is a building that acts as a vacuum, it is manmade but the people of Sight see it as a sort of communication method. What it does is it acts as a complete sensory deprivation chamber, but it also gives the illusion that you're unable to breathe. In the panic, you're supposed to be able to talk to their goddess. They use these primal moments of utter depersonalisation and panic to determine their own fates - their most primal thoughts are supposed to reveal their true desires. On their 13th birthday the boys go in the void, but the women are horrendously mystfied and it's determined they need more time as they are inherently more spiritual and can have a deeper understanding and connection to the goddess - so they go in at 16. That's their transition to adulthood. In April's culture, probably the first time they accidentally get high on the wrong shrooms. It doesn't mean anything, it's just funny and it's a "yep now you've had the full experience of Poison," moment. In Edward's culture, again, it's not a fixed thing, but probably the first time they drink alcohol, and that usually happens around 15.

6. What customs surround death and burial? Are the people of your culture(s) even buried?

Cremation is most common, however, here's some interesting ones I've got: - In Sight (Eli, Ari, Alicia, Neptune), people have a funeral for their loved one and are offered a period of absence from work for up to three months to mourn. Eli doesn't take this in Neon Glow because he gets too restless and wants to be working to take his mind off things. -In Poison (April), people are cremated and their ashes are planted with seeds for new life to grow from them. -In Sun (Edward), their funerals are a celebration of the life the person has lived, and usually lasts all day, there is a mourning ceremony, before people take turns in sharing stories from their loved ones life, they then sit around a bonfire and share food, before the body is either buried and cremated. In the evening they write the time of the sunset into the gravestone, because that is believed to be the time their souls pass on into the next life. There is then a celebration to mark this passing.

#I really just made Edward's culture really bright and happy and supportive #and then Ari's is like everything sucks #neon glow #ask game answers #wbw

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attonitos-gloria · 1 year

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What's your favorite tyrion relationship/dynamic?

aaaaah the latest to answer things ever! sorry for this and thank you for the ask!

hah. every single interaction tyrion has is perfect. but i'll nail it down to three, am i allowed?!

Tyrion/Penny. Tyrion/Penny. Tyrion/Penny. Not romantically. Just. Oh my God. Penny trying to kill him when she first meets him and then befriending him and Tyrion projecting all his internalized ableism on her, and trying to make her into a cynical and not making it because she is too sweet....... cannot cope with this relationship. I love grumpy and dark guy/sunshine girl relationships so much? They fit into a trope that has almost been reinvented here; Tyrion is older, he tries to protect her, they are on the road together... they are great foils to each other, and a nice parallel to Jaime/Brienne, too. I'm just very grateful that George gave us Penny. If someone happens to her I don't know what I'll do. I want to grow a full garden for her. Deep in his heart Tyrion wants it too, I just know it.

Tyrion/Cersei/Jaime. The tragedy! The Gender of it all! If you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will be always an angry man in your house! This is by far and large the best sibling dynamics in ASOIAF. I will not be taking questions at this time.

Tyrion/Sansa. And listen. LISTEN. I need to write a disclaimer here and a long essay. This ship is not my OTP in a romantic sense, necessarily. I have a lot of fun writing fluff for them, but that is not even my favorite version of this pairing. It's not the romance that draws me to them; canonically, they don't have romantic feelings for each other, and I think they won't ever have.

It's the marriage that draws me. I think we live in a world where it comes as granted, given and obvious that marriage is a sort of reward that lovers earn for their passion, for falling in love. Nothing wrong with that; I married a person of my choosing, a person I fell in love with. Nothing against courtly romance in ASOIAF, either. But I think, in Westeros, the relationships that touch me, that rip me off from my core, are about a certain kind of loyalty? About a permanence, about things that linger and remain. A stubbornness, if you will.

It's like Elizabeth and Phillip in The Americans - the marriage is bigger than the romance. Marriage in ASOIAF can mean many things. It means power, it means abuse, it means peace and security, it means love for some. And I think, in Sansa's and Tyrion's case, it means mostly abuse; it means War. The marriage is a plan to seize the North. Period. There's no way around it. Everyone knows, including both of them. But I admire the way they have turned it into protection, into a sort of harbor? Tyrion marries Sansa after they are both utterly humiliated before the court and then he spends the rest of their short marriage leaving her alone, because that's what she needs from him. They are so lonely in this marriage. They are an absence in each other's life. It's so painful to read. I think a lot about how Sansa thinks she will never marry for love:

Tyrell or Lannister, it makes no matter, it's not me they want, only my claim. "You are kind, my lord," she said, defeated. "I am a ward of the throne and my duty is to marry as the king commands."

He studied her with his mismatched eyes.

"I know I am not the sort of husband young girls dream of, Sansa," he said softly, "but neither am I Joffrey."

and Tyrion, one chapter later:

I want her, he realized. I want Winterfell, yes, but I want her as well, child or woman or whatever she is. I want to comfort her. I want to hear her laugh. I want her to come to me willingly, to bring me her joys and her sorrows and her lust. His mouth twisted in a bitter smile. Yes, and I want to be tall as Jaime and as strong as Ser Gregor the Mountain too, for all the bloody good it does.

What is it that they are longing for? Each other? Hardly; they long for a real marriage. Tyrion projects these wishes onto Sansa simply because Sansa is the wife he was given. But they can’t have it with each other. He knows it, and Sansa doesn’t even consider Tyrion might be able to love her. Why would she? She is literally a hostage for Tywin to have a claim on Winterfell. Tyrion himself says that he did not ask to marry her.

Most of Sansa's observations about Tyrion are about how not there he is most of the time. When he is, she is anxious and scared of saying/doing the wrong thing, or afraid because she doesn’t know what is it that he wants from her, since he never consummated the marriage anyway. Most of Tyrion's observation about Sansa are about how much she is not the person he wanted, because Tyrion is, at his core, a wife guy without a wife, and now he has one, and she is 1) a child and 2) a hostage and 3) afraid of him for 193128 reasons. He looks at her searching for Tysha and he doesn’t find her because Sansa is NOT translucent. She is a solid person! Covered in a thick armor of courtesy who refuses to personificate his wishes and fantasies! Tysha was warm and caring, Sansa is coldly lady-like and polite; Tysha wanted him, Sansa jumps out of their marriage bed at the first chance and is disgusted by him; Tysha was in love with him, Sansa is scared of him.

It's all so pathetic, it's so miserable, and so sad, and overall divorce-coded, and still:

"A marriage..." Her throat tightened. She did not want to wed again, not now, perhaps not ever. "I do not... I cannot marry. Father, I..." Alayne looked to the door, to make certain it was closed. "I am married," she whispered. "You know."

and then:

Littlefinger smiled. "Widowhood will become you, Sansa."

The thought made her tummy flutter. She might never need to share a bed with Tyrion again. That was what she'd wanted... wasn't it?

and also:

I will tell my aunt that I don't want to marry Robert. Not even the High Septon himself could declare a woman married if she refused to say the vows. She wasn't a beggar, no matter what her aunt said. She was thirteen, a woman flowered and wed, the heir to Winterfell. Sansa felt sorry for her little cousin sometimes, but she could not imagine ever wanting to be his wife. I would sooner be married to Tyrion again.

and then:

"I never meant… I never kissed a boy before, but … I only thought, what if we drown, and I… I…"

"It was sweet," lied Tyrion, "but I am married. She was with me at the feast, you may remember her. Lady Sansa."

and also this:

"Did Sansa Stark do it, then?" Lord Tyrell demanded.

I would have, if I'd been her. Yet wherever Sansa was and whatever her part in this might have been, she remained his wife. He had wrapped the cloak of his protection about her shoulders, though he'd had to stand on a fool's back to do it. "The gods killed Joffrey. He choked on his pigeon pie."

I am fascinated by this, because, anon: they hate their marriage! They loathe it!!!!! They don't hate each other, they actually care in their own way, but none of them wanted to be there! They just pull the Marriage Card out of their sleeves when there's something worse happening because at least they left each other be, at least there was an implicit accord that this - a sort of island of peace - they could grant each other! It's not good but it's the best they can do and they do it; they are not in love but they are LOYAL to each other. Sansa doesn't want Tyrion to suffer or to die; Tyrion doesn't want Sansa to take the blame for Joff's murder, even though she looks suspicious and even though it might cost him his life. Sansa relies on Tyrion for her protection, she trusts he will not hurt her, she thinks back on him, basically, as the man who tried to protect her, the man who didn’t bed her, didn’t harm her when he could. I think this is the only explanation for the fact she touches him (literally touches him, outside the context of marriage bed: Sansa reaches out to hold his hand, clutches his arm on a whim when she’s upset. Tyrion is a Reliable Person for her, and that is not something that Sansa can say about most people). Tyrion feels sad for her, for her family; he wishes he could soothe it, he can’t feel any joy in the victory of his family because he knows it comes at the expenses of his wife. They do care! They are alone but they are alone together; there’s trust and kindness there. And this kindness serves nothing, absolutely nothing, it doesn’t fix anything, it doesn’t change their situation, it doesn’t help them to communicate to each other, it doesn’t make them talk. It’s not a bridge, it’s not a way for Tyrion to try to win her heart or her attention; this kindness is pointless and meaningless and this is why it breaks my heart.

There’s something about being kind with no expectation of reward or results that just makes me go absolutely feral. And there’s something about married people holding onto their wedding vows, miles away, that makes me just *bites fist*

my God. I love them very much. I think they are each other's keepers in a very layered, interesting way and the way George wrote them, honestly? I think they contain multitudes. They could be friends, siblings, family. They could be allies, partners, each other’s advisors. They could be enemies. They could be lovers. They most definitely could be either bitterly divorced or bitterly married. *shrugs* and this is nice because whatever comes in the next books, I’ll be fine. They don’t need to be happy with children! I just need to read them in Situations, you know?

(Sorry this got long <3 this is what happens when people drop Tyrion asks in my inbox!!!!)

#king of my heart #ask me stuff #i'm not even going to put this in the sansa x tyrion tag #but yes. george ruined my life.

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bearsinpotatosacks · 2 years

Text

Dawn of a New Day

On a simple morning after the mission, Natasha mentioning going to pride causes a spiral that makes Maverick realise a few things about Goose and Carole.

Words: 3307

Demiboy Goose and Fanboy, Demigirl Carole. Fanboy uses he/they pronouns in this. Also mentions goose x slider.

Late morning had set in around the hangar. Most of the crew, both teams, were milling around either fixing things, staring at things or continuing their mario kart tournament from their last day off.

Phoenix rolled her eyes as Rooster beat Hangman for the fifth time in a row. Hangman collapsed against the sofa in mock anger, or real anger, they weren't sure. She raised her eyebrows and got up, announcing something to the group.

"Did you know San Diego Pride is next weekend?" She looked down at her phone again. "We could get the time off? I haven't been to pride in ages."

Bob, who'd managed to make himself invisible to the group again, said, "I've never been to pride," he placed his hands over his ears. "Too loud."

"We could go," she suggested. "All of us? With earplugs in."

The group pondered it, checked their calendars and began to plan. Bob seemed more up to the idea when Phoenix assured that she would stay at the sides with him for however long he wanted to.

Mav emerged from his trailer with a fresh cup of coffee. They'd stayed up late educating him about video games. They all managed to still be up bright and early but his old bones needed a little time to recover.

"You kids have fun," he said, having overheard them.

Rooster placed down his controller and turned to Mav. He had the same look Goose would give him whenever he did something stupid. It gave him shivers.

"You're coming with us, you know that right?"

He placed down his coffee. They were all looking at him expectantly. But he didn't want to impede on their time to experience their lives. He'd had his youth and didn’t want to take up time they couldn't get back. However, that could also be his excuse for feeling apprehensive about having a family again.

"You don't want me there," he laughed.

"Yeah, we do," Phoenix said.

The room got hotter. He was never open about this kind of stuff, not with anyone but Goose, Carole, Ice and Slider. He knew he'd have to tell Penny eventually and he knew she’d be fully on board with his bisexuality. But his sentimental nature stayed true even when it came to his sexuality, the prejudice of the Navy in the eighties still clung to him like smoke.

"Even if you're just there as an ally, I've seen plenty of people there giving dad hugs to people whose parents didn't accept them," She said. "You really should come, Mav."

"What's an ally, again?"

The group laughed. Was he really that out of touch? When he was young there were two options, three at a stretch. Now there were so many words for things. He loved that, loved that people could find themselves and feel the warm embrace of validation. But he didn't even know where to start. Perhaps this was his chance.

"Someone who's not LGBT but is supportive,"

"Shouldn't that just be everyone?"

More laughter from the group.

Hangman spoke up, "Yeah, but people don't like to hear that."

He hummed and took a sip of his coffee. Times had changed so much. He felt like a dinosaur.

"Okay, I'll go, but I'll need your educating before we do, I don't want to say the wrong thing and hurt someone,"

Their faces went soft. The group shuffled and collected around him. Their eyes bored into his head. He took a long sip of his coffee and settled his gaze between Phoenix and Rooster.

"What do you know?"

"Well, there's gay, when you like the same gender as you, there's lesbian, which is when a woman likes another woman," he stopped himself. "But I saw something about that being just not men liking women, so I'm not sure?"

No comments. That had to be a good sign.

"I know the term bisexual well, I would do, I've known I am bisexual since 1980." He looked at Rooster. "So did your parents."

He opened and closed his mouth. Mav knew Rooster had history with Hangman, and something with Phoenix. But given their long break from each other, he didn't feel it was right to ask about that department yet.

"I always knew mum liked Dolores O'Riordan from the Cranberries a little too much to just admire her singing," Rooster joked.

Mav continued, "I know that people can not identify as what they were given when they were born," he scanned the room. "And that's called transgender, right?"

Collective nods gave him a glowy feeling.

"But that's it." He added.

"Well, you know the iconic letters," Phoenix said. "But there's some things you missed."

She shuffled forward. Phoenix took the lead often. She had a calm atmosphere but was also stern when the time called for it.

She explained more terms to him, with others pitching in with their own takes or explaining more themselves. He found that Hangman was pansexual, that Halo was a lesbian, that Phoenix was asexual, and his suspicions about Rooster being bisexual were confirmed.

Mav had finished his coffee. The group lay around on the various rugs as he got his head around all the new information.

"And there's more than one gender?"

More agreement. His head was spinning with all the new information but he wouldn't have it any other way. He saw how their faces lit up the more questions he asked, the more he understood and encouraged.

"Well, society makes man and woman so separate, it only makes sense that there's a lot of things in between," Fanboy explained. "Kind of like cheese."

Finally, their attention drew away from Maverick. Payback shuffled to Fanboy with a cocked eyebrow.

"Cheese?"

"Yeah, there's mozzarella on one end, and halloumi on the other but there's a load in between and some that aren't even between, they're their own thing and some are similar in flavour to halloumi but are also close to mozzarella in a different way, you know?"

Payback was the only one to reply, "Have I been hanging around you too much or did that make perfect sense?"

Phoenix laughed and collapsed backwards, leaning on Bob's legs, "No that does make sense."

"I would know, I think I'm the only person under the non binary spectrum here,"

"So that's what the in-between is called?"

Fanboy nodded, "Yeah, I identify as a demiboy."

"Demiboy?"

"Yeah, I only partially identify as a guy, sometimes I feel like something else entirely," his voice went quiet. "It took me a while to figure it out but I got there."

Mav tried to listen but the sound of his pounding heart filled his ears. Everything went distant as he was transported thirty-seven years into the past. His head began to swim. They all sounded far away.

"Mav?"

It was Rooster. He looked at him and saw Goose. His voice was so similar.

"Mav? You okay?"

He took a few deep breaths. They all looked so concerned.

"I didn't know there was a word for it," he mumbled.

Rooster approached him slowly, laying a hand on his shoulder with care, "Did we help you figure something out?"

He shook his head. He met Rooster's eyes but all he could see was Goose. Goose's quivering lip and tears, his uncomfort when Admirals told him to man up or at the culture of hyper-masculinity he was surrounded by at all times, the comfort he found in Carole's arms.

"Not me, your dad."

Rooster stepped back a few steps. His concern changed to shock. Should he be telling him this at all?

"There wasn't a word for it back then, I mean, we felt rare for all being bisexual," he looked at his lap. "I had some bad experiences just because of that, girls not wanting to be with me because I'd been with guys, guys not wanting to be with me because I'd been with girls,"

"But your dad, well apart from admitting he had a thing with Slider back in high school-"

Rooster was even more shocked. Someone spat out their drink, it was Bob.

"Wasn't he Admiral Kazansky's backseater?" Bob exclaimed.

"Uncle Slider?"

Mav scratched the back of his head. He seemed to be admitting too many things for one conversation.

"They both ran track in high school, both had their sights on being Naval Aviators, I think at one point he planned to be Slider's RIO, before they both became RIOs themselves." He decided to just admit everything, Bradley always wanted to know his dad, this was part of him. "They were horny teenagers in southern America in the seventies, they didn't have a lot of options and wanted to explore things."

He gulped, probably needing another coffee, or something stronger.

"Anyway, your dad had his own struggles he was dealing with," he then added. "Your mum too."

Rooster mouthed the words 'my mum' as Mav carried on. He sat down next to the sofa. They were all looking up at him like children wanting a story.

"I should do this properly, give me a second,"

He hurried off to where he kept all his memorabilia of the past. Deep in a box somewhere was a polaroid he was looking to find. And after a few minutes, he found it.

Returning to his seat, he stroked their young faces. Carole wore one of Mav’s white t-shirts, his aviation jacket and sunglasses with his cocky grin on her face. Mav wore one of Goose's obnoxiously bright shirts with a fake moustache to boot. And Goose wore a red floral, strappy dress with white tennis shoes on, holding Bradley in a pumpkin outfit close to his chest.

"It was Halloween, 1982, you were almost 4 months old," he said, looking at Bradley. "We managed to get the time off to visit your mum in Texas and decided to take you trick or treating, although with you still being breastfed, I don't know how much of the candy you could’ve actually eaten."

A laugh rippled through the small crowd.

"And we decided to go as each other, Carole was me, I was Goose, and Goose was your mother,"

He gave him the polaroid. For a moment, he took in his expression as he gazed at the faces he'd probably started to forget, he had and he hated it.

"Of course you were in the obligatory baby pumpkin outfit,"

Hangman snatched the photo from him, "Wow, you really pulled off that pumpkin well, Rooster, you still got it?"

Rooster gave him a deadpan laugh and yanked the photo out of his hand. He handed it to the rest of the group and looked at Mav to carry on.

"Anyway, your dad got some comments, with it being Texas in the eighties, people gave him looks and told him he was a guy and shouldn't be wearing a dress, of course he just said back that he wasn’t a guy," he gazed into the middle distance. "I guess I should've known it wasn't just a joke."

Bob handed the picture back to him. He looked back at Goose. There was a look of satisfaction on his face, like he was happy to have an excuse not to behave like the macho guy the Navy expected him to be. He should've realised sooner. So many what ifs.

"Then, a few days later, Goose had gone for a shower but it had been way too long, so Carole and I went to check up on him." He clutched the wrinkled photo tighter in his hand. "He'd been acting off for a few days, he almost didn't go to church, which he never did"

"And we walk in and he's holding the same dress he wore for Halloween in front of him, when he saw us he immediately dropped it like it was on fire, looked like we'd caught him with a dead body or something,"

He remembered the look of absolute shock on his face. Guilt flushed high on his cheeks. He hadn't been able to meet their eyes nor look at himself in the mirror.

"Carole made some joke, something like 'Halloween ended a few days ago', but immediately took it back when she saw how heartbroken he looked. She asked him what was wrong, comforting him and encouraging him to tell us but it was like there was a mental block stopping him,"

He could see how Carole caressed his arms and face now. Their love was so strong. It always broke his heart to think about.

"He started apologising, said it wouldn't happen again and that we should all forget about it but we both insisted he talk about it," he said. "We made sure he knew we weren't judging or hated him, we just wanted to understand"

"So he started to cry as he talked about how he realised he sometimes didn't feel like a guy but didn't want to be a woman either. He always put it down to growing up in the seventies where men had thick chest hair and low buttoned shirts and were really sexual when he had pale blond hair all over and liked his shirts buttoned up a lot more than all the big heart throbs did."

Fanboy had shuffled closer now. His eyes glimmered with understanding. They looked entranced by Goose's story, his face glowing but also slightly sad in a way that could only come from feeling the same feelings as Goose had.

"And then when that didn’t work, he said he explained it to himself as navy guys being all defined abs, strong jaws, high cheekbones, you were expected to be thick with muscle and have so much testosterone they could smell it on you,"

He scanned the room. How times had changed. Yes, most of them were muscular but there was less of a stigma now. And when his eyes landed on Phoenix, he smiled.

"But he met me, and Cougar and Merlin and so many others that also didn't fit the mold and he sorta ran out of excuses,"

That Halloween had been magical. They had a home together, at last, and were getting to do normal things together. It meant so much to Maverick. He couldn’t put it into words but those days with Goose and Carole had made him know what a home felt like.

"We asked him what he meant, what he felt like if it wasn't just him being insecure with his masculinity," he looked at Fanboy again. "He said that some days he felt like a guy, but others he just didn't. He didn't feel strong or cold or durable or protective enough to be a guy."

Fanboy nodded, "I get what he was on about, sometimes things just feel soupy, like one day you're solid like ice, but there are days when you feel like water when everyone's telling you that there's only ice and water vapour, but there's no one there to explain it to."

Maverick smiled at him. He often wished Goose was here with him, even as a ghost. Because he knew he'd have that wonderful smile of his on his face upon hearing that what he felt was real.

"That does sound like what he was trying to say," he said. "By this point, things had calmed down, Goose felt a little bit less like talking down an anxious dog and more like having a normal conversation again.".

He closed his eyes, "If I remember correctly we'd sat down by this point, he was telling us how there were some days when naval life really grated on him. Every time he got told to man up or that he wasn’t manly enough or got called a pussy for not being hyper-masculine like he was expected to made him want to be sick and tear his skin off." He sighed. "I don't know how he survived it sometimes."

He opened his eyes again and turned his gaze to Carole.

"Then your mum decided to surprise us too."

Rooster's face had settled into shock, he must have appreciated him mentioning it before. He didn't know how much he knew about his parents, how close he felt or how much he missed them. They'd fallen so out of touch that he sometimes felt that he didn't know him at all.

"She went all shy and bashful and started talking about how she felt the same but in terms of being a woman, how even when she was pregnant with you-" he met eyes with Rooster again. "She didn't feel entirely like a woman, she just didn't think about it a lot, thought it was insecurities but hearing what Goose said made her realise that she wasn't just kidding herself."

He could see Carole in Rooster's face. He may look like his dad but he behaved in a weird combination of himself and his mum. When he was irritated, his nose scrunched like hers. His eyes glimmered with her sparkle, he saw her in his smile and could feel her ghost in his hugs. She’d raised him so well.

"But from there, we were stumped, we had no idea if there was a word for what they were feeling." He gestured vaguely outwards. "I think they were just glad to know they weren't making it up."

Just as Fanboy went to speak up, Mav thought of something else from that night. He felt sick when he realised his memories were fading. He was glad that Goose and Carole took so many photos when they were alive.

"But then Goose says that the only way he could put it into words was 'I feel more goose than guy', so that's what we went with, more goose than guy, more goose than gal," he said.

His smile returned, "I know it sounds stupid but it worked, because Goose couldn't be open about those feelings ok deployments and Carole knew the dangers living in Texas brought."

The group laughed too. He looked at Fanboy again. They were the only one with the same heartbroken understanding that Carole had when Goose opened up about his feelings to her. Maverick always tried to but knew he couldn't understand the intricacies of gender that they had.

"Well, it sounds like Carole was a demigirl," Fanboy said. "But you can't really say because-"

"We can't ask them."

The mood soured again. Maverick sighed. There was so much he wanted Goose and Carole to know about.

"But they'd be happy to know it’s a thing," he mulled. "I'll have to tell them next time I'm in Texas."

He bowed his head. The others rustled around him. The conversation felt over, it had been harder than he thought it would be, but Fanboy spoke up again.

"Well, there's been non binary people for centuries," he shifted his gaze between Rooster and Maverick. "They're not alone, never were."

Rooster breathed a thank you. His eyes were full of tears.

"They would've liked you," Maverick said to Fanboy.

He scanned the room, noticing their forlorn faces, "They would've liked all of you."

He held back a sob. In moments like this, not the quiet ones in the middle of the night, but the warm ones, he truly felt the ache of their loss. He could live without them, he’d had to, but he still wanted them back. Sometimes he wished he could see ghosts.

Snapping out of his trance, he noticed Rooster approaching him. He jiggled him by the shoulder.

"Come on, old man, enough sadness," he let himself be pulled to the sofa. "You're playing against me in this mario kart tournament."

Maverick chuckled and dropped the pictures he held in his hand. Yet, Goose and Carole's faces stayed eternally happy. Both happy in the comfort of truly being able to express who they were.

I've had this idea for a while and am so glad to get it finished. I hope I portrayed demigenders right, I did do some research beforehand but am not a demigender. I really liked the line "clung to him like smoke". I hope you enjoyed this!

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thee-crimson-witch · 3 years

Text

Unordinary

Jean + Reader

!!! This is just a reminder that this is gender neutral, even though I say that all are female, this can work for anyone else because nothing is truly specified through my writing. If I make a noticeable mistake hinting at a gender, you can let me know or if you are ok with ignoring it, that's fine too. Reader is 18+

Request: Hello! Would you be able to write Jean x reader who is an ordinary citizen and thinks Jean will never notice them? Tysm!

Fluff

Freedom.

It was one of your favorite words, the way it rolled off of your tongue, softly flowing with the wind.

Dandelions.

Of course they were flowers, Flora always told you so, they were your favorite kind. The way the little small white seedlings would blow away with the smallest breeze.

Jean.

Oh Jean.

Wait Jean?

You shook your head, coming down back to earth from your little daydream as you lay in the soft grass by the tree at Windrise. Nothing to bother you or hinder your happiness. Blessings of the Anemo Archon. But suddenly the Acting Grand Master trampled your thoughts.

As always, it was routine to think about her. But you knew she wouldn't even know who you were, admiring the knight from a distance. It hurt, but what could you do? People like Ellin worked hard to become knights because they also looked up to her, but what did you do, laze around all day beside a tree?

As if on cue, you looked towards the city, breathing out softly. This stupid Cryo vision of yours could be put to use, sometimes you wondered why were you even chosen in the first place. You knew it was because of what you did to protect 3 kids from getting attacked by Ruin Guards. You led the playing wanderers to a safe place, suddenly when you were about to leave the hiding spot, a vision appeared on the ground beneath you.

The story to this day amazed all but you, it's not as good as other stories of earned visions, you thought to yourself. The one thing you used it for since you got it when you were 13 was to cool your pillow on a hot night, selfish. Either way, you did nothing with it. Did you even desire to be a knight? Sort of, you weren't about to take of a spot in the knights for your own selfish gain of Jean's attention.

You made the choice to go to the city to see Ellin, for someone as young as her, she's so inspiring with how much she works hard, you could do the same. At her age, you were still whining about how hard school was.

You walk, your legs about to give out at how exhausted you were from the previous night when you couldn't get any rest. You thought you were seeing things, but a figure was in front of you suddenly, belonging to a woman. "Are you ok?" You recognized the voice, you had heard her speaking before. "Master Jean?" You asked. "You seem a bit tired, trust me, I know." She put a hand on your shoulder, butterflies flooded your tummy.

"I didn't sleep last night.." You squinted your eyes. "I fell asleep at the tree." A sweet giggle left Jean's lips. "I'm, uh, Y/N." You introduced yourself with a slight smile. "I know, I've heard, you're quite the story within the knights' headquarters. They speak of the great Y/N who saved 2 kids from a dangerous Ruin Guard at only 13. Pretty noteworthy if you ask me, Klee talks about Big sibling Y/N all the time too, such a shame we haven't met before." Her smile was beautiful, a light blush splaying on her soft cheeks. You were shocked, she noticed someone like you?

All you've ever done was walk the streets of Mondstadt, go to work in Springvale as a seller for your father, and repeat. What's so cool about you? "I was going to the big tree actually, then I stumbled into you, but how about I accompany you on your journey, hm? Where are you heading?" All of her talking, it's making you short-circuit. "U-um, I was heading to the city." You finally spoke.

"Ok, well back to the city it is, I'll make a trip here later. So much more leisurely time than usual, I wouldn't mind spending it with you."

You both begin the walk. You look over at her, just soaking in how beautiful she was up close. "What do you do for a living Y/N?" She suddenly asked, you scratch the back of your head. "I, uh, sell food with my father in Springvale." "Huh, and all of this time I had failed to notice. Mondstadt is quite the small community, everyone seems to know each other and get along quite well." She stops for a moment, picking up a dandelion that wasn't fully bloomed into its yellow state to play around with it.

"I take walks through Springvale as well, mostly to patrol, but I know Draff is alright without me. But to think I haven't met you." Suddenly she blew on the dandelion, watching the white pieces fly with the wind. "I'm kind of a rare sight to see, I stay away from attention mostly, it goes wrong sometimes, seeing that I am a vision holder." You fiddled with your fingers, "Ever thought of becoming a knight?" She suggested. Bogus! Not someone like you, you lacked basic fighting skills.

"I mean, you have the courage to become one, and besides, wouldn't it be nice to work alongside me?"

#jean x reader #genshin impact #genshin jean #jean gunnhildr #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact jean #request #anon reply #anon

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sigynpenniman · 3 years

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Julian Bashir Playlist Time!!

Apple Music playlist (if you're a heathen and subscribe to apple music like me) here

I know that there's plenty of people making playlists, but I really feel like this is an under-utilized brand of fan content. Instead of attempting to create a list of songs that Julian would listen to, or a playlist of songs which were all lyrically directly applicable (though there certainly some of those in here) regardless of genre, I tried to create something which captured, above all, his vibes instead, by choosing songs that balance at least somewhat relevant lyrical content with the energy or feel that I associate with the character. What it means matters, but not as much as how it makes you feel. That said, I signed up for apple music and read a TON of those overwrought iTunes store album review descriptions while I was making this, so I have a whole lot to say about all my choices here. In depth explanation of my symbolism and methodology behind each song under the keep reading. (I love tumblr. I want to write 1,000 words of analysis about why I picked songs to represent Julian Bashir and some of you are gonna read it. This is where I get to pretend to be one of those iTunes music writers. I feel joy.)

Good Morning - Two Door Cinema Club TDCC's Gameshow is high on my favorite albums of all time list for nebulous reasons I myself don't really understand. It was this album, though not this song (but one that will pop up later) that actually inspired me to make this playlist to begin with, as for some reason, from the color scheme of the album cover, to the overall vibe, to the ever-present references to illness, injury, surgery and healers in the lyrics, the whole thing feels inescapably Julian to me. And with an opening like I'm a sinner/I'm the victim/I'm an alien when I'm myself/I'm a healer/I'm a fixer/I'm a present danger to my health/I'm so strong/Doing what I'm supposed to do/ There's something wrong/With somebody like me, it's hard NOT to think about Julian when you hear this song, and I can't think of a better way to start this off.

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood I think there's a joke somewhere about bisexual people all liking Sweater Weather, and yeah, I resemble that remark. Sweater Weather is just good. You'll notice there's a sort of chill-indie-alt-electronic thing going here, and that is very much the vibe I'm sticking with. Sweater Weather slots in beautifully, both sonically and thematically. As the singer looks to warm and protect the person he's with from the cold, you can't help but feel a loving coziness coming off of this one. It always makes me feel cozy, at least, so it's here.

Gooey - Glass Animals I have nothing to analyze here because the artists themselves have said that the lyrics of this song have no meaning, they're just meant to capture a vibe, and capture it they do. Close your eyes and ride the vibes of this one. The energy is right, I love it, it belongs here.

Blue - Mika I could probably write a couple hundred words on Blue alone, in any context. This might be my beloved Mika's magnum Opus. Opening the song with the inherently counterintuitive lyric Blue is a feminine color, Mika manages to pack it ALL into this 3 minute song: questions about gender; concepts of sadness, joy, and their intersections; of the perception of melancholy as a flaw and loving people despite, or maybe because of, those "flaws" and anything else about them; a powerful first person reassurance that made me start weeping in my car the first time I heard it; just the phrase "why are humans cruel to you." And oh boy, ARE there questions of gender. Why is blue NOT considered a feminine color? Is that a good thing, a bad thing? In 3 minutes of artful poetry, Mika manages to wrap up sadness, love, joy, pain, the feminine that exists within the masculine and the masculine that exists within the feminine, in the simple color of blue and then, in one lyric, validates it all. And on a much simpler and more obvious note, this is in fact all a philosophic musing on the symbolic meaning of the color we see Julian wearing almost all the time (when he's not in uniform, almost all his civvies are also shades of blue.) I feel like this is one of those songs that's hard to analyze because it does what music and poetry does best - communicate something that cannot be communicated any other way. With these broad themes of loving others around the things they can't love about themselves, you can decide for yourself if this one is coming FROM Julian or directed AT him, either works. I find myself struggling for exactly the words to explain this one, but listen to it; you'll understand.

Little Dark Age - MGMT Another choice with no obvious lyrical relevance, but the tonal fit was just too good to pass up. The vibes pass.

The City - The 1975 This song is one of several present because it leans on medical symbolism to get its point across, though I would be lying if I said I fully understood what that point was. But the entire second verse, apparently about the song's subject suffering from some kind of illness and reassuring him that the next one's the M.D./You'll be feeling just fine, seems somehow to transmit the discomfort of illness directly to the listener. I don't know how or why, but the effectiveness of the empathy the second half of this song elicits, in me at least, puts it squarely in the "odd medical vibes" category.

Surgery - Two Door Cinema Club THIS is the song that inspired this whole playlist, mostly because of its title and general vibe. Another example (of many) of medical/anatomical references in this album (another of the songs is called Fever, etc), this song just feels like Julian to me.

The Other Side Of Paradise - Glass Animals I really like Glass Animals. That is probably becoming obvious. Aside from its delightfully cohesive vibes, this song opens with what's simultaneously the slyest and most brazen gay lyric I have heard on the radio recently, as the male singer says When I was young and stupid my love left to be a rock and roll star/HE told me... The song seems to be about a man whose male lover left him in pursuit of fame and fortune, and eventually ends up with a woman, leaving the singer behind. It's got simultaneously subtle and obvious gay themes, it's got confused love affairs, it's got so much bisexual energy. I cannot think of anything that could be more Julian.

Sit Next To Me - Foster The People Kind of like Sweater Weather, this whole song is built around a rather cute and sweet "sit next to me," and you can't help but feel a bit warm and cozy when you listen to it. I think it pairs with sweater weather well, and slides in with the rest of the picks very nicely.

Nothing Better - The Postal Service (the original band of the lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie) Another example of heavy surgical symbolism, the very first lyric of this song is Will someone please call a surgeon. This is actually a duet, and the singers speak of their real hearts to represent their emotional ones. Something about Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures always gets me and always will. And it vibes good. It vibes so, so good.

&Run - Sir Sly Sir Sly's &Run is my favorite song for driving too fast. It does an amazing job of musical onomatopoeia, talking about running while making you want to run. It's a song about running out of plans and running as far as you can instead, which is all very "I'm illegal by definition so I went to the farthest possible reaches of space." And like everything else here, it just feels good. It's also one of the only highlights here that I can actually see Julian listening to.

Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine It's no coincidence that it seems like most of us who are invested in Julian Bashir are some flavor of genderqueer, be it trans, nonbinary, questioning, or something else entirely - the man's got a Gender with a capital G, and there's a whole lot going on in there. Between the words that were written for him on the page, and the words that were actually spoken, and the way he carries himself, Julian always seems caught between the white, western, and frequently toxic masculinity that the writers often seemed to want to imbue him with, and the very different, racially and culturally distinct masculinity Sid actually brought. But there's an undeniable element of the feminine in Julian too, at least by a traditional definition. The presence of this part of him at all, much less the fact that, in-universe, it's the more traditionally "feminine" parts of himself - the caregiving and nurturing aspects - that Julian seems proudest of or to like most about himself, is a large part of what makes his character so interesting, at least to me. So there was no way I was getting out of this without acknowledging that somehow, and I can't think of a better way to acknowledge a complicated relationship with the feminine side of one's own gender than with this world's own Celtic divine feminine, Florence Welch. I can't think of any better artist, at least that I know of, to represent femininity as a nonspecific ethereal goddess-concept. I basically spun the wheel of Florence here, as anything would have worked, but Cosmic Love felt very appropriate for a character who does in fact live in space. There could even be some Garashir in here, I think.

Dream Sweet In Sea Major - ミラクルミュージカル, or Miracle Musical, a sister act made up of members of Tally Hall I also couldn't leave off without acknowledging Julian's affection for classic lounge music, especially since it's the only thing about his taste in music that we actually know. But instead of tacking on some rat pack, instead I'm polishing this off with the incredibly chaotic and somehow also perfectly cohesive and calm Dream Sweet in Sea Major. It's got all of the vibes of a lounge singer but gone completely off the rails, which just seems perfect somehow. And it's also a very nice feeling to be left with, so it seems only right to put it at the end.

and if you've read all of this, I love you. Y'all didn't know I was this into music did you. but I am. oh boy. I AM.

#julian bashir #playlists #Spotify

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i-may-be · 2 years

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Hi if match ups are still available can I request a romantic one for the mcu and percy Jackson please. I'm a bisexual women that uses she/her pronouns with honestly no preference for either gender.

I'm 5'2 with shoulder length blonde hair and green eyes. I honestly dont have a set style, like one day I'll be wearing all black and the next I'll be wearing the brightest colours known to man, I do however prefer baggy clothes like large hoodies/t shirts and sweatpants and I wear glasses.

I have social anxiety so I'm very quiet before you get to know me but once you do I'm very sarcastic and playful. I'm a bit of a scatterbrain and am constantly forgetting things, I'm also very clumsy (I once broke three glasses and a plate within 2 weeks) and stubborn. I've been described as carefree and a freespirit by people who know me and as a very laid back person.

I like to cook/bake which I learned from my grandmother who was a professional chef before she retired, I like to watch crime documentaries as I find them very interesting but hate horror movies. I also read a lot of books mostly psychological thriller and mystery I also like to draw sometimes but not always and I want to either study to be a nurse or psychologist. I like to take care of people and help them although I don't always know how as I'm very awkward and blunt which means I can sometimes say the wrong thing but I don't mean to.

I don't like: winter time,ice, arrogance, being mean to others for no reason, nuts, and cliche cheesy romance movies.

Honestly I get attracted to either the very sarcastic and snarky character or the very soft/energetic character that wouldn't say anything bad about you ever.

thank you for choosing this blog for your matchup <3

PERCY JACKSON ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Drew Tanaka

HOW YOU MET

At camp! You both knew each other by name for years and were on relatively good terms. You mostly knew about her because she knew a lot of gossip, she really did like to talk. (spoilers for the last olympian) She really changed after Silena's death and was appointed head of cabin, she was almost cynical for a good while there.

You two definitely did not get along at first, since you really disliked her arrogance, so it was a real enemies(ok probably more rivals) to lovers scenario, but I feel like she was comforted by that somehow???

Like she became strangely comfortable around you, you're first heart to heart together was when you were both alone and she kind of just poored her heart out it was wild.

But after that you were like ok she's not entirely horrible, she's doing her best to blah blah blah I'm not about to spoil my own hcs to you nonono.

Anyway, in summary you both knew each other since you were young but only grew closer years and years and years later.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Ngl I have thought through everything this woman has done since her introduction so literally everything she says/does is really reall delibrate. Looking at you both it's like looking at a delibrate and cunning character and a wet cat, and she loves the wet cat in you :)

Ok I went on a rampage there but in summary, every gift and place she picks for you two to hang out is very specifc to you and memories she wants to share with you!! Though she can obviously slip up with how she words things, her constant priority is still always you!!!

She is your memory, she will remember everything for you. If you need to be reminded of something, she'll remind you right on time. You need someone to revise notes with you? Everything is easier to memorise with Drew by your side! She is vv good at making things easier to remember, I don't know how to explain it she just has that affect.

She is so whipped for you it should be illegal. Like you could do the most mundane or decently human thing and she's like "you are my sunshinebabygloriusstarladygoddess-" I feel like I should add on that she has the cutest nicknames for you, specilised to you too, like how annabeth and percy have seaweed brain and wise girl, Drew would have something similar for you <3

HANGING OUT

Ma'am is an absolute lotta true crime(penelope scott) vibes type of gal. She probably has strong opinions about known and lesser know murderers. She gets so cute when talking about it cause she's like "!!! and you won't believe this!!!" and she's just becomes so comfortable and enthusiastic I love her.

Her reading books and then telling you all about her reviews of them is just!!! Also if you recommend a book to her she will make comments on it as she goes through it, kinda like she's reacting like to a tv show to you, if that makes sense, live tweeting or smth might sound more familiar. Anyway she loves sharing her theories, reviews and just talk about books ingeneral!!!

She would love to take you out shopping!! The type of person to show her love primarily through gift giving, so please let her buy you things. She would buy them behind your back otherwise, she's too stubborn to just give up without getting you the gift. She's so awkward about it though, in a way she only gets around you. You make her feel some typa way yk?

I feel like she would enjoy showing off her clothes and makeup to you and just sharing it with you. She's passionate about it, she's even considering it as a career option, she wants to show you her cool lil things and then learn about yours in part!!! Sharing interests it everything, with either her rambling on or you rambling on, both are good.

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Thor

HOW YOU MET

You met post Thor: Ragnorok Thor to be clear. Anyway you were traveling through New Asgard on a lil field trip when everyone got snapped back. Due to the commotion, things shut down for a while so you were stuck in New Asgard for a while.

Up to this point it was basically urban legend type stories you had learnt about Thor. I mean, a god from space? Sounds awfully convenient in this economy.

I just juked you out that's not when you first met. You both met on your second visit to New Asgard when you visited friends you had made during the blip incident.

So you both met, and Thor was still recovering from literally everything but he is recovering and he is gettig his found family yadayada.

You both have a minimum conversation as he says farewell to the mutual friend that you had came to meet and he's all like "farewell, fair maiden, until we meet again" on you swoon bc Chris Hemsworth amirite. ANYWAY you both do meet again after he comes back to visit after schenagians with the gotg gang(the movie hasnt come out idk what's going on)

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

He is the counter weight of clumsiness, because he is also clumsy and two negatives make a positive right? Anyway, what I'm saying is that when you're clumsy, you'll have some comically helpful scene where Thor catches it accidentally and then he just looks up like "I got you pretty lady ;)" expect it's a lot less smooth.

Golden Retriver!!! He can make you comfortable in 0.00001 seconds or less. He is such a supportive guy, even if he may have no idea what he's supporting because god moment, but he is here for you!!! He probably talks to Bruce about how he can learn stuff faster to catch up with what you're saying.

You'll be happy to find out that this man also hates horror movies, BUT he did read Twilight bc Tony convinced him it was supposed to be a masterpiece. Please give him better recommendations he is in too deep it isnt ok nor fun for anyone.

I'm going to be entirely honest, please be patient with him, your humor flies over his head half of the time. He's still adjusting, but one thing he IS familiar with is sarcasm. I think he finds sarcastic people really comforting and cool, and he thinks you're the most comforting and coolest of them all.

HANGING OUT

He likes to tell his lil stories about Asgard and Loki and yadayada mr.i-am-so-cool-and-accomplished. Either way please listen to him!! He is so excited to have someone listen to his stories with any level of enthusiasm. I feel like in Thor: Ragnorok and after he's grown to realise that people express interest differently and now he's aware of that with you!!! Also every other thing will remind him of a story so prepare for anecdotes.

He likes to bake. He likes to bake earth recipes along with the occasional surprise asgard time recipe!!! He doesn't measure to your skill though, as he sometimes gets impatient when baking alone and juts, yeah. But baking with you is like youre both in your own world and time doesnt exist <3

He is a summer boy who likes to frolick in sunflower fields and have picnics. Cottagecore lifestyle with no cottagecore style. what im trying to say is life is simple, baking, picnics, chickens, I don't know. On that note, I DO know that Thor does really like chickens.

Friends!! He is a sociable guy who likes to talk and be with people. You know his friends, he knows yourselfs. You both go out for dinners, go shopping and see movies together. He's definitely a blessing on anyone's social life I'm telling you.

#if you're not sold on drew I will MAKE SURE you are sold on drew this is a threat #anyway #i do have a lot of hcs and stufff for drew cause I hyperfixated on her #a lot of it is just interpertations but if you want I am always free to talk to!!#haydens matchups!!!#mcu matchups #marvel mcu #thor #mcu thor #pjo #pjo fandom #pjo matchup #drew tanaka #matchups #mcu matchup #percy jackson matchups

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