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darealsaltysam · 3 months

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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT

below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this

oh my god okay okay where do i even start

opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up

watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok

this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!

i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis

arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie

but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.

i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.

the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this

OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD

jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed

the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH

all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!

once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it

the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that

okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT

FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER

stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET

just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT

when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.

the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd

GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.

dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.

and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell

speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing

what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah

special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast

WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL

the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS

a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!

anyway. back to the horrors.

i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP

i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me

chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!

SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING

TIMOTHEE

FUCKING

CHALAMET

listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.

he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing

paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting

like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different

what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!

also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg

when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us

also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore

have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her

okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive

chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much

THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL

THE WORMS

THE SENSE OF SCALE

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME

THE SOUND

EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL

the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell

every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis

gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3

the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall

i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell

i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO YALL

THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK

THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!

THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start

okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys

paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around

i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more

i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?

but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.

oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.

theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point

another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!

this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani

chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"

i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.

sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3

#dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #paul atreides #chani kynes #jessica atreides #feyd rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #rabban harkonnen #vladimir harkonnen #stilgar #alia atreides #irulan corrino #im so crazy im so feral holy shit #okay im going to bed now #its 1 am lmao #ive been writing these down for like 2 hours since i got back

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chaengluva · 3 months

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Massive Deal [1]

This is the full story version of Too much of a massive deal, it will be a few chapters!

Regina George x Fem!Reader: Part 1: 3.7k words including intro

Btw, if you think things are going to fast or what not, this is like 3 of my wattpad chapters in one, so i don’t have to do to many updates and theres not as many parts.

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Introduction

It was really unrealistic, I mean, having a crush on Regina George? When you told your best friend she said she wasn't surprised, It was almost the same reaction when you told her you were lesbian. You tell your best friend everything, she's the only person you truly trust in your friend group. Her name is Bella Christensen

You love all your friends but you were friends with Bella during elementary school, you told her you were lesbian and you haven't told your family yet, she's been a really good friend about it and hasn't said anything.

The worst part about having a crush on Regina George is being related to her best friend, Gretchen, you guys don't talk much because she is always with Regina, you just think it would be weird dating your sisters best friend.

Like the thought of Bella dating Gretchen makes you want to throw up inside.

You know this crush was just some silly teenager thing that will go away, you know she's not lesbian and most likely homophobic, so when you get into your senior year of high school you're plan for the year is to study hard (MOVE ON FROM REGINA GEORGE) and to have fun.

What will happen? Will Regina like You? Will people turn against each other?

“I fucking hate High School”

————————————————————————————

The sound of your loud alarm started to go off, waking you up instantly and you groaned, summer break goes way too quickly. You take all the energy inside you to move your hand and press the snooze button on your phone, wanting to sleep for some extra you close your eyes but then open again at the sound of your door opening, it was Gretchen, what the fuck is she doing up this early?

She made her way to your closet and started throwing your clothes everywhere, making a mess. "Gretchen! What are you doing?" Your sister rolls her eyes answering, "I'm looking for my white blouse, the one you wore on the last day of school." You get up out of bed and rush to your closet before she ruins anything else and searches through your doors, finally finding it. "Here it is." She smiles slightly, "Thanks sis." You smile and think about heading back to bed but you decide not to, you know if you went back in you would never get out again.

You looked through your closet, groaning seeing the limited choices, "Ugh! I have nothing to wear," You looked at the weather, wanting to dress appropriately for the weather. You see that it is quite warm, you sigh and leave your room, sneaking into your sister's room. She has a lot of good clothes.

You take a blue shirt and a white skirt, hoping that she doesn't notice you in her room. When you leave her room you bump into her, hiding the clothes you took behind your back (as if she hasn't already seen them) So she doesn't get mad, your sister sighs. "Fine, I'll do your makeup too."

She brings you into her bathroom and does a small natural look, and finding you a better outfit, you look at yourself in the mirror, "Damn, all the boys will be crushing on you." Gretchen says, applying a little more mascara, you hesitate but nod at her works, not wanting to tell her the truth.

"I'll add lip gloss after you eat." She smiles and the two of you go down stairs, greeting your mom before going to the kitchen to get some breakfast. Gretchen has some avocado toast and juice, while you just had some cereal.

The two of you sit on the table, she talks about how she is excited to start the year. It's crazy how different she can be at home compared to at school. Everyone in school knows that the two of you are related but you never sit with each other.

You thought about how you would move on from Regina, your best idea was to just ignore her at all costs, every time you see her you stare at her with heart eyes, but she will never dare to look back at you. You sigh deeply, lost in your thoughts, thinking about the first time you realised you liked Regina.

Flashback

You were sitting with Bella, it was the last first day of middle school, you decided to start the year by trying out for the cheer team, you were very nervous because you know that everyone sitting here as already tried out and made the team, you were the only, who was trying to do it for the first time.

They called your name, Bella cheered loudly, you giggled, getting up off the bench, you stood there nervously as the judges sighed a few things, you stood there awkwardly. They told you to start and you started to do your audition, you did a few tricks, after you were done you saw that there were smiles on their faces.

They all told you that they would be in contact, you nodded and walked back to your friend, she smiled brightly, giving you a big hug. "You did so well!" You smiled, hugging her back, you also felt like you did quite well.

The two of you walked out of the gym and walked into the change room so you could change out of your sweaty clothes, when you walked in, you gasped at the sight. Regina George standing there in her bra and tight leggings, you have never taken a close look at her body before, you must have been staring for a while because you had lost focus for everything else that was going on.

Bella waved her hand in front of your face to make you come back into reality. You jumped looking at her and she looked at you with a confused look, walking away she could change. Fuck, you were like every guy at the school, you had a crush on Regina George.

End of flashback

A similar situation was happening out, while you were thinking of this moment you were clearly spaced out, Gretchen shook your body to bring you back into reality. Damn, moving on from Regina will be harder than you think, she can still make you feel the same butterflies like she did in middle school.

"Regina is giving me a lift to school if you want to come." You thought that would be awkward as hell, you were honestly confused as to why Gretchen was asking you. You awkwardly laugh saying, "Oh.. It's okay, Bella is picking me up!" Gretchen nods, grabbing her purse, before walking out the door.

You grab your phone and call Bella, she answers instantly, "Hey! Y/n!" You smile at how happy she sounds, "Hey Bella, when will you be here?" You ask, only so you can know how long you have to get ready. "I'll be there in 10 minutes, " You rolled your eyes, Bella would always be late.

It was like Bella could hear you rolling your eyes, "What! My alarm didn't go off!" She defended, making up an excuse. You giggled, "Yeah sure, I'll see you soon." You say hanging up the phone, you look over and see that Gretchen didn't put her dishes away, being the better sister, you get up and put both yours and hers in the sink.

You go upstairs to brush your teeth and fix your hair, you put on both deodorant and perfume, you start to apply your lip gloss but you hear a car horn beeping which messes you up, and she doesn't stop. "Jesus Christ! Bella I'm coming!" You yell, as if she could hear you.

You grab your back and quickly rush outside the door, rushing into her car, you give Bella a massive hug, you don't feel her hug back which you find strange, you pull away and you see that she is looking at you with a glare, "What?"

"Y/n, you look like a fucking plastic."

Bella parked outside the school smiling happily at you. "So" Bella started, "When will I decorate my car park?" She asked, you smiled back, hitting her leg, "Soon." You smile, getting out of her car, waiting for her to come to your side so you could link arms and walk into school.

"I'm so annoyed we don't have many classes together," Bela groaned, leaning her head on her shoulder, smiling at you, you look into her eyes and smile at her, "Yeah but one class is better than none." You mention she nods, taking her head off her shoulder.

"I can't believe we have maths first." Bella groans, walking into homeroom sitting down on the table, you sat down on the table next to her, rolling your eyes at her, "At least we are in the same class first period." You mention but Bella jumps in, "I have PE right after!" You laugh at her, "That sucks, I have English."

You roll your eyes, throw your head on the desk, lie down until the bell rings, Bella laughs at you, "Jesus Christ, first day and you're already falling asleep in class?" You look up at her, glaring into her eyes, making her laugh more. "Don't try to be intimidating with me."

The bell finally rang, everyone was happy to be out of the homeroom, but not excited to start class. You and Bella decide to take the long way to get to class because the two of you really hate maths.

Luckily, maths class went quickly and now you were in English class, you didn't see anyone that you knew in the class so you decided to sit alone, on the table in the back. Soon after the class started Regina walked in, not even looking at the teacher or saying sorry for being late.

You looked around the class and noticed that the only available seat was next to you, so you moved your stuff without her asking, for the whole lesson you were breathing heavily while she didn't look your way once, she was actually just on her phone the whole lesson.

Probably texting her stupid boyfriend.

Finally, the class was over and it was time for the first break. You met up with Bella, who was sitting under a tree. Eventually, all your other friends join up, you were a bit sad that a few had moved schools, but the group was still close, it just wouldn't be the same.

"So how your guys' classes?." Jennie asks, smiling, you groan, "I have Regina In my English class." Everyone else groans, feeling bad for you but Bella smirks, hitting your shoulder, making sure to do it quickly so no one sees.

"I can't believe you're related to Gretchen." Charlie commented, giggling looking over at Jennie, you chuckled, nodding your head, "Yeah me too, but at the end of the day she is my sister and I love her." The two girls just roll their eyes, you look at Bella who gives you a sympathetic look, you just shake your head, you weren't bothered by them.

The four of you continue to talk, none of you notice Oliver Kim walking over to you. "Hey, Y/n, I was just wondering if you like to go out tonight." You look at Bella, still feeling slightly bad to reject some nice looking people. You open your mouth to answer, but you hear someone else talk. "She would love to!" Oliver smiles, "Great, I'll text you the details."

"Jennie!" You exclaim, "What! You have never been on a date with a guy! you deserve this." She says, rubbing your knee. You sighed knowing she was just trying to be a good friend and she doesn't know that you are lesbian, so you try your best not to get hurt by it.

The bell rang, everyone quickly gathered their stuff and rushed out to their class. You walked to your chemistry class, it sucked that it was on the opposite side of the school. You walk into the class and observe the people in the class, you see Janis sitting alone.

You weren't friends with Janis but you weren't enemies, you smiled, walking over, "Hey!" you say, she smiles, looking up at you, you smile back, "Can I sit here?" You ask, feeling a little nervous, she smiled at you, moving her stuff so you could sit down, you sat down smiling at her, taking your stuff out, she looked over at you and smiled.

You took notes on the lesson, It was around half way through the lesson, you felt Janis tap you on the shoulder, "What other classes are you in this year." She smiled at you, you smiled back at her, telling her what classes you were in, you were surprised and happy to find out that.

You put your attention back to the teacher, you wrote down a lot of notes because if you were being honest, you were scared for this year, so you wanted to do your best in the classes. At the end of class, you and Janis had art next, "Hey so, do you want to walk to art together."

You smile nodding, walking to art with her, you start to talk about what you guys did over the summer. You walk inside and you smile when you see Damien, you know Janis and Damien are close so you let Janis go off to be with him. "Damien! You know Y/n." She smiles, He smiles back, "Of course I do, she's beautiful!" He exclaims, you giggle, looking down slightly shy with the complement.

"Class, Listen up!" Everyone turns their heads to the teacher, she continues to speak once everyone is paying attention, "Today we will paint freestyle, you can paint whatever you want." You smile, go through the paint box grabbing what you need, you look up images on your laptop, to get some ideas on what you can paint.

You settle on a landscape of a flower field, you put on an apron because you know Gretchen would murder you. You started to work on the painting, making sure to stay very focused. Janis sees this as a perfect opportunity to talk to Damien.

She pulls him into the other side of the classroom, making sure that there is no way that you would be able to hear, leaning in close she opens her mouth to talk, "Girl, you're way too close!" Damien says, too loud for Janis' liking. She quickly shushes him, backs up slightly and whispers.

"I think I like y/n."

Damien looked at You then looked at Janis, "You.. Like her?" Janis nods quickly. Damien rolls her eyes. "She's like the straightest girl here." Damien exclaimed, Janis hit him on the shoulder. "Ow!" He said, grabbing his shoulder, Janis rolled her eyes at him saying, "It shouldn't hurt that bad.." He glares at her his arm didn't really hurt, he was just being dramatic. "Anyway, you can't assume someone's sexuality!" Janis said a little too loudly, grabbing the attention of a few people.

"Look, my point is that. She's really pretty." Janis smiles, looking at You as if she could get lost in your eyes, "You know she's related to Gretchen." Damien whispers, Janis looks back at him, rolling her eyes before saying, "So what? You literally date Regina's ex boyfriend." Damien hits Janis softly, not too hard to the point where it hurts, they go back to greet you, gasping at the amazing process.

"Wow! You did that all just now?" Janis exclaims happily, you nod but don't say anything back, you don't want to lose your focus on the artwork, Janis smiles behind you, admiring your focus in the artwork, you have no Idea how she is looking at you, but she is looking at you the same way you looked at Regina George in middle school, the time you realised you liked her.

You looked back and she looked away, making you smile brightly. The teacher says that the bell will ring soon so everyone should start to pack up. You signed, packing your things and cleaning the supplies. You waved goodbye to Janis and Damien, knowing you would see Janis in PE.

You head to the cafeteria, smiling when you see your best friend, you sit down on the table, sitting next to Bella, you decide to wait for the line to die down before getting food.

You smile at her but she doesn't smile back. You look at her confused. "What's up?" You ask, honestly confused. She pulls you close so no one else hears, "I'm saying this before they come, aren't you worried about that date with Oliver tonight?"

You sigh, you had forgotten about that. You're very self-conscious so texting him or bailing on him wasn't even an option, and Bella knew this. She tried to comfort you the best she could because she knew as soon as Charlie and Jennie would come over, they would not shut up about it.

You heard the two girls walk over and just like you and Bella guessed, they didn't shut up. "Oh my god! I can't believe you're going out with Oliver Kim!" Jennie said happily, "Yeah!" You say, trying your best to actually sound happy, you look over at the line and see that it's smaller now. "I'm going to get my lunch." Hoping up, you go and grab a tray and line up to get your lunch.

In the line you could feel someone's eyes on on, they were standing next to you and you couldn't make out who it was, you decided to glance to the side to see if you can make out who it is, you smile brightly when you see it is Janis, pay for your food then sit down, smiling at your friends, "How was your classes?" Charlie asks, looking at you, smiling, you say, "Good, we did painting in art already!" They all smile brightly.

Lunch goes by quickly and you have to rush to the change room to get in your PE clothes, when you get in the change room with Janis you gasp at the sight, it was like you were back in middle school again, Regina George was there, in her sports bra. She was in the same PE class as you.

You don't notice how long you are staring at her, a loud voice brings you back to reality, it was Janis this time. She pulled you to the side, a space where no one could see. "You were staring at Regina.." She says, with almost a hint of sadness in her voice, you shake your head, wanting to deny it. "I wasn't! I swear."

She rolls her eyes, "You were staring at her boobs!" She whispers, yells, you sigh, looking down at the floor. "Y/n?" She asks, making you look up. "Yeah?" You ask, wanting her to continue, "Are you.. Gay?" She asks and you stare at her in shock, "No, I'm not!" You exclaim, scarred that Bella might have told someone. "I think you might be.." She adds, which makes you more upset. "You have no right to tell me my sexuality."

You push past her and go to change into your PE clothes, not bothering to even look at her when you exit the change room, or on the field, the teacher asks everyone to get into two teams and you try your best to not be in the same team as Janis, but just your luck you ended up on her team, along with Regina and a few other people.

The teacher asked everyone to do soccer drills, you couldn't help but stare at Regina, she looked so hot in a high ponytail. Fuck, you're doing in again y/n. You brush yourself out of it this time, you focus on ignoring how pretty Regina looks and ignore Janis' many attempts to talk to you, the only thing you should focus on is worrying about the date tonight.

For a boy you don't even like, the gender you don't like.

You must have been lost in your thoughts because the next thing you remember is a ball being kicked to your stomach and you were clutching it, struggling to catch your breath, you look over and see to girls laughing, you don't know their names but you can tell that they are new and already don't like you. "Hey! Assholes!" You hear someone yell, but you can't make out who it is.

You feel someone grab your hand and sit you down, you look over and see Janis, she is holding your water bottle and allows you to drink some of her water. You look at her with sad eyes, "I'm sorry for being a bitch." Janis just giggles, "It's okay, I'm sorry for assuming anything." You smile, nodding your head, drinking the water that Janis gave you. God you're good at covering your sexuality up, it's become natural.

"Hey, you okay?" You look up and you're surprised to see Regina standing there asking if you are okay, you try your best to play it cool but she is wearing a white top and a black bra, you try your best not to stare so you just quickly answer, "Yeah, I'm okay now." She nods, running away to other people in the class, your eyes follow her, a smile slowly creeps up on your face. "Y/n." You hear Janis call out. You turn your head back to her, "Yeah?"

"Wanna hang out with Damien and I tonight? We are going to stay at mine and watch movies, I'll give you a lift to school!" You frown slightly, you want to go, but you have other plans, "Sorry I can't tonight." You can see that she looks sad, "But hey! If my plans end early! I'll join you guys!" Her facial expression changes and she smiles brightly, "Can't wait!"

————————————————————————————

Now this is gonna be a little confusing, let me know if you would like a page that has a list of all the main characters/oc’s because there are quite a few.

#regina george #regina x reader #regina george x reader #regina x fem!reader #regina george 2024 #janis imi'ike #janis imiike x reader #mean girls 2024 #reneé rapp #auli'i cravalho #mean girls #gxg #wlw #lesbian #fluff #angst #gretchen wieners #oc

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junjiie · 9 months

Text

해찬 ## 🗯️ ⠀ &THEAFTERPARTY..

IN WHICH ? ⠀ 🔌 ⠀ yn and donghyuck were friends who fooled around once or twice (or rather, far more than either of them wanted to admit) for fun, and that was that. things get a little complicated when the latter shows up back in the city and ends up catching feelings.

Ꮺ PAIRING ₁ ⠀ lee donghyuck x male!reader.

𑁤 GENRE ₂ ⠀ smau, non-idol au, (loose & not mentioned much) uni setting, written parts, fwbs to strangers to lovers, fluff, humour, and a little angst (??).

위험! — WARNINGS ₃ ⠀ swearing, kys jokes, implied sex & sexual references, suggestive jokes, sunwoo of tbz as yn’s fc!!!

⭔ FEATURING ₄ ⠀ mark, renjun, & jeno of nct, jake and heeseung of enha, jiung and keeho of p1h, and more various cameos!!

҂ TAGLIST ₅ ⠀ open! still a kind of #SmallCreator but yk. support small businesses ⭐️ and all that. u dont even know who haechan is but u still want to….. come on…. do it.. send an ask / reply / dm wtv 2be added ^ ^

JJ ₊ ⠀ this has been in my brain for SO long i have been prisoner to so many Haechan Thoughts 💭 its genuinely criminal. bias wrecker like no other ☹️��anw i cant decide for the life of me what i want the vibes to be like so if theres a whiplash inducing tone-shift between every chapter then i can only say sorry in advance. ppl on the perm taglist even if u dont stan nct i hope you will enjoy this mess!! LOVE U ALL (but i love karma a little bit more.. THIS IS ALL 4 U BSF EVER MUAHHH. ok gn im going to bed..)

profiles (･o･;) ⠀ 💣 ⠀ moneysexual wyd warriors

prelude. new york to seoul (written.)

one. chains of capitalism

two. thing-not-thing

three. knock knock

four. delaying the inevitable (written.)

five. slime (no glue) (no borax)

six. with quickness and haste

seven. chismosavirus

eight. took you long enough (written.)

nine. disappointed and ashamed

ten. girls night out

eleven. see you then

twelve. chocolate chips (written.)

thirteen. make yours match

fourteen. up to no good

fifteen. kun’s at 2

sixteen. coffee cake (written.)

seventeen. does he know?

eighteen. you won

nineteen. get in here

twenty. live-in-able (written.)

twenty one. or whatever

twenty two. hypocrisy

twenty three. freebies

twenty four. just a little (written.)

twenty five. as usual

twenty six. exile

twenty seven. -10 performance points

twenty eight. déjà vu

twenty nine. witch!!!

thirty. 🤦‍♂️ (end!)

taglist ## @wave2love @mins-fins @kimgyuuu @wtfhyuck (perm) &&& @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @kosmicbomb @222brainrot @haohyo @dinonuguaegi

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jeridandridge · 1 day

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For Lovers At Night part 5

My too much gene kicked in so there’s one more chapter of this fic coming. Enjoy!

The text puts a knife in her chest causing her to let out a sob, hand flying to her mouth to cover it. Getting up she walks with her phone in hand out the hall through the doors breaking down only when she’s outside. Letting the sob escape her throat she doesn’t care that it’s starting to drizzle. Taking several deep breaths she tries to stop crying long enough to call you. As the dial tone rings, Melissa feels like her heart is going to fly out of her chest and not in a good way.

“Hello?” A voice on the other end sighs.

“Hon, can we talk please? I need to talk to you.” Melissa’s voice wobbles as she speaks a mile a minute.

You’d never heard her sound like this, so small and unsure of herself in the time that you’ve known her.

“There’s a lot we have to talk about apparently.” You hum. “I need a bit of time, Melissa.”

“Time?” She asks quietly, “how much time?” She’s all but pleading with you at this point and she doesn’t care how she sounds. “I can’t lose you.” She whispers.

The line goes quiet for a moment until you speak again. “I need to gather my thoughts about everything. I think you owe me that much.”

“Okay,” Melissa takes a deep breath. “Just please don’t shut me out.”

“I’d never do that. I’m not an asshole, Melissa. I’m hurt and I need time. I’ll talk to you soon.”

The call ends and Melissa brings her hands to her face holding in a scream. In a matter of hours her entire life got flipped around in a way she never thought would happen. After a few more minutes outside Melissa breathes trying to calm herself to go back to her kids. Going back inside Abbott she cleans up her desk and tucks the card you sent into her purse before the tears start flowing again.

A couple blocks over you busy yourself cleaning up the store and bar in prep for the night ahead.

“you’ve been cleaning that same spot on the bar for ten minutes.” Your friend and colleague Jacob says coming up beside you.

“I’m- yeah,” you shake your head moving down the slab of granite. “My head is in the clouds.”

“And you don’t have that dopey lovesick smile on your face.” Jacob hums, “was it too soon for flowers?” He winces.

“Considering her husband posted on her Facebook for their anniversary last month, I’m gonna say yeah too soon,” You huff tossing the rag down with a sigh.

“Oh no,” Jacob lets out slow and full of pity.

“Don’t do that, dude. I dont need that right now okay? I need to get through this weekend and figure out what the hell to say to her.”

“How did this all happen?”

Looking at your friend with a sigh you slouch forward crossing your arms.

“I looked her up because she’s so mysterious ya know? I looked and she came up, still has old pictures of him and that damn post on her wall. I don’t know what to think at this point.” You shrug completely confused and hurt.

She definitely wasn’t lying about being with women before, that much you knew and the way she looked at you felt real. She looked at you like she loved you. Talking to her on the phone and hearing the sadness in her voice made you even more conflicted.

“You have feelings for her right?” He asks leaning against the bar.

“I’d be stupid not to wouldn’t I?” you scoff.

“Theres your answer. Hear her out and talk to her when you’re ready.” Jacob advises the only way he knows how.

Thinking about your friend’s words for the rest of the day, you go through the motions at work putting on your best fake smile as you greet and chat with customers. As you cater to your patrons your phone sits on your office desk buzzing with a text chain from Melissa you don’t see until much later.

When you get up to your apartment that night you get ready for bed shuffling over to the mattress feeling almost disgusted with yourself. You slept with a married woman and you had no idea if she was telling the truth or not about how she was treated by her husband. The post you saw online rubbed you the wrong way, you were still friends with enough people from your hometown to know what a bad relationship looks like yet you still didn’t know for sure.

Laying on your back you look at the ceiling with a sigh. Now or never, you grab your phone looking at the long string of texts you have from Melissa.

I know you said you needed time but I need you to know I meant everything I said to you. About my family, work, how I feel about you.

I know I fucked up and I’m so sorry. More sorry than you’ll ever know, Amore.

Please don’t push me away.

Dropping the phone onto your nightstand you turn over curling under your blankets wanting to sleep the day away. Only sleep doesn’t come. Tossing and turning with racing thoughts of the redhead you dissect every moment carefully from when you met up until you kissed her goodbye after your date and every single moment puts a ghost of a smile on your lips. Her still calling you ‘Amore’ in the texts made this even harder for you. Closing your eyes you listen to the raindrops hit your window and thunder rumble in the pitch dark.

At the same time, Melissa is overtired and wanting desperately to sleep but she can’t stop the tears or her thoughts from keeping her body awake. She’s never felt like this before in her entire adult life and she knows it’s her fault. She should have never lied in the first place and she sure as hell should have never let Kristen Marie put her on Facebook.

when Joe posted that message on her page it didn’t effect her, she already knew it was for the show he constantly put on for her family of being a good husband when they are all aware he is anything but. What she hadn’t known was he made it public, and now the thought of losing you and explaining everything to her family makes her chest ache.

The following day for you is strange. When you wake at your usual ten am, it takes everything in you not to grab your phone and send Melissa a good morning text as you’d come accustom to. Instead you lay there for a few minutes enjoying the sound of birds outside along with the usual traffic. Getting up and going about your morning proves difficult for you. Once ready for your day you check the time, realizing Melissa had her lunch break in less than two hours. Picking up the device with a sigh you send a quick message.

Can you meet me the cafe near Abbott during your lunch?

In a classroom not far away Melissa’s heart jumps when she sees her phone light up. Opening it immediately she feels hopeful reading the message, glad her students were in gym at that very moment. Not wanting to test her luck too much she replies with a simple yes I can then gets up practically jogging to Barbara’s classroom.

“Hey, I have to cancel our lunch plans today. She wants to meet at the cafe.” She can’t stop the smile from crossing her lips.

“Melissa, be careful with that woman.” Her best friend warns. “You still have to deal with all the legal proceedings with Joe and your mother.”

Melissa nods shoving her hands in her pockets. “I know, I know that. I just really need to see her Barb.” She shrugs with a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Barbara looks at her friend in astonishment. “You love this woman.” She comes to the realization. “Go on during lunch, you text me as soon as you get back here.” She points.

As Melissa’s break time approaches you walk the couple blocks to the cafe on the corner, wondering if you’d see her coming from the school from the window. Sitting there waiting you order a water trying to keep your cool while mindlessly scrolling on your phone. As you do you receive a text from Jacob.

Hear her out and remember she’s hurting too

Letting out a sigh you tuck the phone in your pocket. When you lift your head you’re met with the sound of the door chime and green eyes landing on you. Standing up at the table you don’t make a move, gesturing for Melissa to sit across from you.

“Hey,” you let out not breaking eye contact with the woman. Even dressed in her work clothes she was absolutely stunning. “You look as tired as I feel.

“Yeah,” Melissa takes a seat wanting so badly to hug you. “I didn’t really sleep.”

“That makes two of us,” you nod pushing one of the two coffees in front of you forward.

Melissa looks at you with a grateful not picking up the drink. Just how she likes it she thinks.

“So uh, I’ve never had to do this before.” You shrug not sure where to start.

“And I’m not good with the whole feelings thing.” Melissa adds playing with the corner of a napkin. “I know you owe me nothing, but let me explain everything?” She asks softly.

While you were upset, an explanation is exactly what you wanted. Nodding, you urge her to go on.

Taking a breath the redhead fiddles with the napkin between her fingers. “What I told you about him, everything is true. The cheating, the lying, the not caring, it’s all true. We were young and stupid when we got married, and he didn’t wanna miss out on being one of the guys.” She shrugs taking a breath.

“You’re not gonna tell me you two have kids are you?”

“No,” Melissa shakes her head immediately. “No kids, just an overbearing family on my side.” She chuckles. “In fact, my brother and cousins threatened to kill him after they found out he cheated on me the first time.”

Letting out a puff of laughter you shrug. “Can’t blame them. It’s the Italian-American way.”

Melissa ducks her head with a small smile, eyes going to the paper. “Yeah. And I ain’t saying I’m a saint, I cheated when I was a teenager but as an adult? Never did. My marriage started out fine, but a few years in he got sloppy with hiding it. I never cared enough to ask for a divorce because growing up my mother made a big deal about marriage but anyway,” She shrugs it off not wanting to get emotional. “I didn’t think any of it mattered and I wasn’t good enough for anyone else so why go through the hassle?”

Looking over the woman’s features you see a mixture of sadness and pleading in her eyes as she nibbles her bottom lip.

“What changed?” You ask quietly resting your hand on the table almost touching the redheads.

“you made me feel like a woman that was desirable and worth talking to.”

“Melissa, I can’t mess around with a married woman.” You sigh shaking your head. “I meant what I said in that card, I-“ before you can finish your sentence Melissa hits you with another bomb.

“I asked Joe for a divorce.”

Sitting stunned you just blink at her for a moment.

“He was there at the school when those flowers were delivered. Which are beautiful by the way.” The redhead gives a shy smile.

“Well fuck.” You sit back in shock taking in the information.

“Hon, It was the best thing that coulda happened to me, I finally told him how miserable I was and that’s what I needed to do,” Her eyes water, the dam about to break again as her voice turns to a whisper. “And you gave that to me even- even if that means I lose you.”

Extending your fingers you turn your hand, palm up to the redhead, your fingers entwining together a moment later. “You’re not gonna lose me, Mel. I just-“ you sigh, “I need to process everything and I bet you do too.” It had been a strange twenty four hours and you still couldn’t believe the woman you were in love with was still someone else’s wife.

Feeling the warmth and gentle squeeze from Melissa’s hand you lean forward slightly meeting her eyes. “Let’s take things slow, start over.” You suggest.

“I can do that.” The redhead nods. As long as she could keep you that’s all she cared about.

“Okay,” you give her a soft smile gently pulling away. The rest of your short time together comes easy, the awkwardness chipping away as you two sit and talk as you usually did.

Tapping the screen of her watch Melissa sighs knowing the forty five minutes she spent with you wasn’t long enough but would have to do for today.

“Back to the rugrats?” You ask knowing her lunch wasn’t very long.

“Yeah, Barb is getting ‘em from recess for me. I uh, thank you for talkin to me, hon.”

“I’d never ghost you or ignore you, Mel.” You shake your head leading her out the door of the cafe. “I really, really like you. I meant that. Now we can just pump the breaks a bit yeah? You and your family are going through a lot now.”

“Yeah,” Melissa lets out in a puff of laughter. “I can’t wait to be interrogated by my ma and Nana later at dinner.”

“In that case I’d say that’s punishment enough.” you chuckle putting your hands in your pockets, still a bit of space between you two as you stand there on the sidewalk. “Well, I’ll see you later, Mel.”

“Can- hon, can I have a hug?” She asks almost unsure of herself.

Unable to say no to the woman you step forward wrapping one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist in a warm embrace. Closing your eyes you take in the feel of her body, her signature smell, how her hands feel playing with the back of your jacket.

“Thank you, Amore.” She whispers, most definitely needing the loving touch as much as you did. The redhead pulls back first, giving you that shy smile that has just the corner of her lips up slightly.

“I’ll see you soon.” You assure her, knowing that you really couldn’t stay away from her long, especially now.

In the Schemmenti household a weekly dinner happens at Nanas house, and this week was no different except when Melissa pulls up with a large tray of ziti she only sees her parent’s car in the driveway. Coming into the house with the tray she smells food cooking and her nana talking, that was a good sign.

“Is a hit happening?” She pokes her head into the kitchen.

“My mia Cara!”

Maria Schemmenti crosses the kitchen going right to her granddaughter kissing her cheeks and taking the tray from her. “Come sit, food is almost done.”

Even though she’s up in years the oldest redhead that Melissa took after the most in looks and actions moves swiftly going back to her many dishes on the stove.

“Hey kiddo, you okay?” Johnny Schemmenti was a no nonsense guy, always ready to jump into action for his family especially his mini me Melissa. Sharing the same green eyes the two hug and Johnny places a kiss to his daughter’s head.

“Ya know what dad? I’m better than I’ve ever been.” She smiles moving to sit back down with her dad. “Ma looks pissed.” She says quietly watching the blonde woman move around the kitchen.

“Hi, ma.” The youngest redhead calls out getting no reaction from the woman.

“Melissa I will speak to you when I’m done helping your nana.”

“Caterina don’t give that girl the cold shoulder.” Nana points at her.

“That’s okay, Nana. I’m the only one here so apparently I’m in for an ambush. Did you put the hole in the backyard, Ma or is it somewhere else?”

Johnny has to bite back a laugh hiding his proud smirk with his beer bottle.

“Melissa this isn’t an ambush. I’m only wondering why you had to cause a scene instead of telling us you weren’t happy.”

“Mi stai prendendo per il culo,” Melissa huffs.

“Melissa Ann!” Caterina snaps.

“If this is how dinners gonna go tonight I’m outta here. I don’t need all this. Nana, dad, I’m sorry I’ll see you on Sunday.” She gets up kissing her dad’s cheek, grabbing her purse as she goes.

“Sit back down, Tesoro. Your mother means well but she ain’t going about it the right way.” Maria shoots her daughter in law a look that gets a huff from the blonde.

Melissa listens to her Nana, sitting back down next to her dad. Elbows on the table she covers her face with her hands taking a breath feeling like she’s a little kid that was caught and is now getting in trouble.

“Look you wanna know what happened? Joe cheated on me for years, did ya know that? That weekend the guys had the cops called on them and I had to sweet talk the cop? Yeah, they were ready to kill him. We done here now?” Melissa lets out with a challenging look to her mother.

That night almost ten years ago had been a rough one. A bunch of the cousins rented a house in the Poconos and the long weekend in the summer heat ended with Joe taking off on a four wheeler and Johnny Junior having his hand stitched up in the cabins kitchen after a drunk Joe made a joke about another woman he was seeing. Junior and the cousins scared him good, eventually the cops came ruining the weekend for Melissa.

“The boys knew this whole time?” Caterina asks quietly.

“Of course they did. So did Barb, and Nana.” She nods to her grandmother taking a breath.

Melissa’s mother looks at the oldest woman with an agape mouth.

“Mel, we want you to be happy. You happy with splitting from Joe?” Johnny asks his daughter.

“I can’t put into words how happy I am, pops.” She shrugs with a small smile.

“See, Cat? That’s all I need to know.” He nods to his wife, getting up to get the plates for the table.

“At your wedding I knew he was no good.” Maria shakes her head. “The negativity sheds off of him like his hair does.”

Melissa chuckles staying put as her parents move about the kitchen setting the table. As they do, Maria comes over kissing the top of her head.

“Mia Cara, when we’re done you make a plate and take it to your new friend. Give her a sneak peek of family dinners.”

The redhead looks at the matriarch of the family with a warm smile knowing her Nana would understand everything that Joe told the family.

As Melissa has dinner with her family you move around your apartment cleaning up and ordering groceries as you usually do on your days off. Seeing Melissa that afternoon was nice and you knew as soon as you saw her the anger you felt would lessen. You were upset but not so much with her. Now you were upset with her husband and how he treats her.

If her being free of him and the cage she felt trapped in meant you had to feel bad for those few hours from finding out to the moment you met up with her for lunch then so be it. You were tempted to text her an invite to come over for the night to decompress and talk more. As you leave your apartment and hop down the stairs to the alleyway out back to get rid of your garbage you see a car you do not recognize parked almost blocking the alley, and a man getting out of the car.

A man you recognize as Joe.

#abbott elementary #lisa ann walter #Melissa Schemmenti #Melissa Schemmenti x reader #lgbtq+ fiction

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dawnoftime22 · 3 months

Text

"...and it just did."

| W.M ( -> N.R)

Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 5

Chapter Warnings: A very emotionally packed chapter, relationship problems, cheating, arguing, anxiety, overthinking, andd...just be prepared.

Summary: The truth unfolds itself easily on a special day.

Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.

Word Count: 8.7k (...oops)

Category: Angst.

A/N: this chapter has been eeeeverywhere with me. I wrote it in the car, at work, in my bedroom, and even at a hotel room. but, I hope you all enjoy<3 it's a whole lot, so it was quite difficult to finish, but february's over and I have more free time again!

also theres a playlist for this series out now :] in case you need something to listen to while reading. be careful while scrolling the songs to avoid just bits of teensy spoilers<3

Series Playlist

| Started on 10/01/2024, 12:16 PM |

| Finished on 05/03/2024, 3:45 PM |

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

<- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

"What is there to say?"

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

You drag your feet across the wooden floorboards, making your way towards the kitchen. Here it is again, the same routine. But yet this time, you see a sticky note left on the marble counter, illuminated by a dim overhead lighting.

You furrow your eyebrows, but go over to read it anyway, the bright color a big difference to the white counter. 'might not be home until tomorrow,' was written on the piece of paper. Your heart didn't drop as much anymore. Your shoulders only droop a little, as if just a teensy bit more weight had been added.

A quiet breath leaves your mouth. Your hand picks up the sticky note and scraps it up within your palms, throwing it off to a nearby trashcan in the kitchen. Who else needed to read it anyway? It was only for you. Only for you.

You shook your head of the remaining thoughts you had of her, but she couldn't quite leave your mind at least once. Always there. Always lingering. As if you had been cursed. But in honest truth, the only curse you had upon you was the spell of love.

Today was a special day. Key word on the was. Some type of hope swirling in your heart maybe had you looking forward to this day, but all of it had just gone down along with the piece of paper in the trash. Your eyes also flicker to it once more, seeing the many other colored paper sitting scrunched up with the one from just now. At least she had the decency to still leave notes.

But, today was, of course...your birthday. And out of all the people, your favorite person was certainly not present. Maybe she had forgotten, you thought. Maybe she just didn't care enough this year...no, how could she?

You snap yourself out, having stared off at the sunlight shining in through the windows. You go to the fridge to see what was still in there. A bitten sandwich from last night, and some leftover chickens, but your lip forms a line and you close it, your hand dropping off to your pocket to retrieve your phone.

It was currently 9:45 AM, the digits frozen still on the same numbers until the full sixty seconds passes by. Your mind was in a haze, but your stomach was empty and it urged you to find some food. Were you just going to go out by yourself? Your body seemed to stop you from even going to the living room. Take-out was an option, but instead you simply laid your phone down on the counter, it making a small noise, the textures clashing.

You put your head in your hands, covering up your face and sliding your fingers across your skin, your palm cupping your own cheeks as a way to get a grip of yourself.

Your phone came up with a notification of your calendar, getting out with a reminder of your birthday. What great timing. You clear it off your screen and unlock your phone, roaming the apps.

Just as you were about to push yourself off the counter and grab the last of the food in the fridge, your screen changes without you touching anything. The contact name came up with...Carol?

Your face relaxes a bit and your thumb hesitantly goes to pick it up rather than tap on the red button, the ringing going away. The phone goes along with your hand when you put it against your ear.

"Hey Carol." You say casually, trying your best not to sound too questionable, as it wasn't usual that she'd call you. You hear some distinct voices whispering in the background of her side, one sounding like a young kid.

"Hey, just wanted to call and um...check in on you?" Her voice ended up sounding questionable instead, and your face goes into a confused reaction, although a smile growing on your lips. You let out a small chuckle, your eyes roaming the space of the room as you thought of your words.

"'Check in on me?' Come on, you rarely do that." Your hand goes to grab a nearby notebook that's been left on the counter, saved for recipes. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Maria reminded me and she and Monica got me to...call you." You assume she had a small pause in her sentence because she was looking over at the other two people in the room with her, which was who you had heard earlier.

"That's nice of her. And thank you." The pages of the book was soft against your hands, your fingers tracing and fiddling with some as you smiled softly at the thought of Maria scolding Carol for having forgotten.

"Well that, or, I would probably not have any pancakes for myself right about now." She says, her mouth nearly sounding like it was full. You'd guessed it was.

"Even though you were threatened to wish me, thank you." You add on, laughing gently as you did. There was a page you landed on in the notebook with a cookie recipe. One, specifically where you and Wanda had made together, having shared a wonderful memory that day.

You could feel your heart beat within your chest, the pace going quicker as your eyes looked over the words written on the paper that was accompanied with smiley faces and hearts here and there.

The smile on your face had definitely faltered. You take in a deep breath, letting it out once you let yourself close the book. Carol's voice snaps you back to reality, having remembered you were talking with her.

"I'm kidding, I would've called you up either way. Really though, how are you?" Your teeth sank down on your bottom lip, probably enough to puncture the skin or leave a small mark, but you let it go once you talked.

"I'm...fine. Other than sitting in my house alone not knowing what to do than sulk in bed or contemplating my life choices." With that answer, the blonde definitely knew something wasn't entirely right. She stays quiet for a while, perhaps thinking.

"Do you wanna go out and hang at the bar? We can do some karaoke if you want that as a birthday present." She offers, and the attempt makes you smile weakly. She never really knew what to do for your birthday, not being the type to do birthdays more than just a simple wish to them. But for you, she'd offer to hang out, which is what you love to do most of the time.

"Sorry, but I don't really feel like partying or anything right about now. Well, tempting, but, I just wanna relax." You say quietly, sliding the recipe book back to its original place.

"Okay, then..." Carol trails off as her mind tries to come up with some more ideas. You were about to think she was going to just hang up sooner or later, but then you hear her voice continue with a more interesting take.

"There's the mall." You raise your eyebrows. She couldn't see you with you being over the phone, but she just knew you were probably surprised. And you were.

"And what would we do there?" You ask, your mind unable to conjure up the slightest of an imagination of going to the mall with her in a casual situation.

"Well, we could grab some ice cream, buy some things, go to the arcade, go...I don't know." She suggests, just nearly giving up. She wasn't good at this type of stuff really, she's simply basing it off of the times she and Monica hangs out together. You could at least picture the straight line her mouth forms when she finished her sentence, and you had to resist a laugh.

"Ice cream does sound really good." Your mind opened a little with the simple thought of ice cream. Even though the comfort of your bed and the couch seemed nicer, it's not a lot of times she ends up inviting you to hang out like this anyway.

"The mall it is." The blonde says, and you can hear some clatter over the phone. She had finished her pancakes, you supposed.

"Am I driving or...?" You trail off, fiddling around with your fingers and sliding them against the marble counter, the coldness a difference to the sunlight coming from the window.

"I'll pick you up." You then hear the sound of keys, and you couldn't back out anymore. She was driving to your house to grab you, and it'd be impolite to cancel.

"Okay." You say under a breath, feeling heavier with every second that goes by. The guilt and anxiety was eating you up, but the date on the calendar just next to the recipe book had your mind getting out of the thoughts.

"I'll be there in 10. Please don't be glued to your bed when I arrive," She said, to which you let out a quiet chuckle. You couldn't really tell if it was in a stern way or a soft way, but it definitely pushed you a little more to get up and change your clothes.

"I won't. See you here." You say gently and the end tone sounds out, making you pull your phone away from your ear.

With that decided, you push yourself off the counter, slowly going off to the bedroom. The closet opens easily, revealing the same clothes you see every day. You shuffle through some of the hanged shirts, looking at what to wear.

Soon enough, you pull one out. It easily slides off, brushing against the many other shirts within the closet. Your eyes don't linger on the other ones that weren't yours, and you close the door after grabbing everything else.

Later on, you get finished up with changing your clothes, and now you were only waiting for Carol to arrive. There was something that prickled within your heart, like a roses stem with thorns, a worry that maybe she changed her mind and she actually didn't want to hang out with you. Maybe she was only doing it out of sympathy? But that can't be true. What about all the times she's driven you back home when you got a little too many drinks?

...You take a deep breath and turn away from the wall you were staring off into like it was the abyss. Instead your hands checked that you had everything on you, like your phone, keys, and your watch.

Then, the sound of a car pulling up at the front of the house made you look up, your eyes carefully watching the windows. You see a Nissan outside, and it was obvious it was Carol arriving.

Quickly, you got off the couch while your phone made sound, definitely a text message from her that she's arrived. You open the front door, going outside. Her blonde hair could be seen clearly through the car windows, confirming the person in your head.

You make your way to the car, opening the front passenger door. "Hey," you say gently, going in and and closing the door along with you.

"Hey." your greetings were simple, a usual thing to happen. Carol glanced at you while you buckled in, giving you a small smile before starting to slowly position the car back to the roads.

The car had some old soft rock playing, filling up the quietness. It also had you already moving just a little to the beats, staring out the window as she drove you both to the mall. She's always had good playlists. Sometimes you'd even have an urge to ask her to give you some of her cds.

"So, what are you aiming to steal my money for today?" She jokes after a song, her eyes focused on the roads. You let out a small chuckle, looking over to her.

"I'm not letting you spend your money on me for something that isn't a drink." You shake your head, fiddling around with your fingers in your lap. The blonde notices it when her eyes flicker over to you for a second before returning to the roads.

"It's your birthday, Y/N. You have to have a little fun. Let loose," she says, and you raise an eyebrow, turning your head to her. The last two words were new, at least when it comes out of her mouth.

"Maria's words, not mine." she quickly stated, making a smile grow on your face. You stop fiddling with your fingers and instead intertwine them with each other, your gaze going back to the window.

"Come on, any ideas?" The car stops at a red light, and she looks over to you. You stayed quiet in thought, although nothing much came up. She sees only the side of your head until you made your decision.

"We'll do yours," you say, having unable to think of anything. Your mind was clouded over. Honestly, a part of your body just wanted to lie in bed hopelessly the whole day, but something else pulled you.

"Then it's settled," she nods, the steering wheel turning with her hand as she made a right. You think over her words on the phone call earlier, 'Ice cream, buy some things, arcade', and you start to get just a bit more excited.

"Ice cream first?" You ask, looking to her with hope. She furrows her eyebrows and makes a face to you, and your lip forms a tight line, like a child asking for something and getting scared of the answer.

"Of course ice cream goes first." The car goes forwards once more, the light having turned green. You cheer quietly, and she gently shakes her head at your antics. At least she got you to release the emotional tension you had in your body. Even if just a little.

The rest of the car ride consisted of singing and dancing, the conversations being light. The weight on your shoulders got lifted up just a little bit more. When you were about to arrive and she was going to park, 'Please Mr. Postman' started playing and your face brightened at the intro.

She raised her eyebrows at your quick happiness at the simple song, but smiled and laughed at how fast you got into singing it. Really, it's always been a main song for whenever you hanged out, but it's been so long since she saw you sing it, she got surprised. Soon enough though, she sang with you, the two of you moving in your seats to the words.

When the song ends, she turns off the engine and both of you get out the car. The parking lot wasn't all that filled up, so it was a chance there weren't many people in the mall.

She puts on her cap and walks to the entrance with you behind her, the noise of crows and other birds made sound, echoing from somewhere afar as you made your way to the sliding doors.

The cold air of the mall quickly greeted you like a slap of reality in the face, like waking yourself up with a cold shower after laying in bed for too, too long. A way to make you feel more alive.

The ice cream shop wasn't far, and with how little amount of people were here, the two of you got to go to the counter right when you arrive to order your preferred flavour.

Your eyes watch the ice cream get put on the cone, and you do a little dance when your hand got ahold of it, while Carol was giving her money to the cashier of the total cost.

The cashier smiles at the two of you and says their 'thank you', making you smile back before turning around, Carol easily catching up with you from your slow walking.

The two of you walk and enjoy your ice cream, the coldness definitely making you more free feeling. There were clothing stores, shoe stores, little snack shops, and every other thing you could ever imagine. You passed by each one though, but you did point out some cool looking things here and there to Carol.

Soon enough, you come upon a pet shop and your eyes widen, your lips matching with a smile. You walk towards it, wanting to look at all the animals. Carol had to walk faster so she didn't lose you.

There were parrots, cats, dogs, hamsters, fishes, bunnies, and even some lizards. Your mouth was agape as you stared at some of them, but you walk over to the cats.

"Aw, look!" You point at an orange cat, who's sitting patiently with it's tail smoothly flicking back and forth as it watched people pass by.

Carol was looking at the dogs until you called, making her go over to you to see what you were melted at. As if you hadn't already from the other little animals.

"This one is so cute." You lean forward and capture the attention of the cat, making it stand up and walk closer to you.

Carol's head tilted slightly and her eyes squinted as she inspected the info of the cat. The name, the breed, the date and place of birth... "...Goose. Huh."

"I want to take it home." You blurt out as you let the cat follow your hand around, and its head moves here and there instead of its body. It was a playful cat, a paw going up here and there to reach out to you.

"You should get it if you love it that much." Carol says, with her usual deadpan voice that you honestly find amusing. Although, for this, your face turns deadpanned instead and you stare at her, making her raise your eyebrows at you. It was nearly a staredown.

"Danvers, I cannot take care of a cat...let alone myself." You gesture to the cat, and it looked at you questionably. Your shoulders slump a little at the last words of your sentence, and Carol frowns a little.

"I'm sure it'll be able to help you cope or something." Really, she was thinking in her head of surprising it to you as a birthday present for later tonight when she sends you home.

"Why don't you get it? I think Monica would go crazy." You glance back at her, and she purses her lips, staring at the cat. It was the most vibrant color of all the other cats.

"And Maria would go crazier." She said, turning to you for a second but then going back to the entrance of the shop instead, perhaps making her escape from you flipping the table to her.

"You can convince her." You say, the volume of your voice going up a little considering she's farther away. You take a quick glance back at the cat, hesitating to leave, but going away to catch up to the blonde.

"No, now, we are going to the arcade." You laugh when you hear her stern voice, although something in you knew she had a thought about getting it.

You looked around as you walked, seeing the arcade not far away now, the place lit up by machines and screens. But something caught your eye and made you look twice.

Were you dreaming? Well...having a nightmare? You felt like so. Your body definitely didn't react in a good way. Honestly, your heart felt like you were about to have a heart attack with how fast it was beating.

Carol's hat made shade for her face from the sun coming through the mall's glass roof as she walked. She stops along with you when she noticed, confusion filling her face at the sudden stop.

When she follows your eyes to where you were looking though, immediately her eyes widen and her face was in complete shock just as yours were.

A brunette, green eyes...green jacket...

It couldn't have been.

You look closer on the face, and it was. And her hand was not swinging by itself as she walked.

It wasn't with your hand either, because you were plenty of feet away from her.

It was with someone else. Something in the back of your mind felt like they were familiar, although you couldn't even dare focus on that.

Your whole day-- well, your whole world fell apart right then and there. Just like that.

You can feel your heart beating up to your ears, and it felt like time stopped. And not in the good way. Oh, you wish. You wish it was the time you saw her green eyes staring back at you and the whole world only felt like it held the two of you. But not anymore.

Maybe it was the numbing adrenaline rush of the shock coming through, but you take in a deep breath, ripping your gaze away. You couldn't bare to look at the sight anymore.

You clench your jaw, your hand gripping itself in a fist. Your eyes pooled with tears and Carol looked at you, her own misery at finding out the truth obvious on her face, although she was mostly worried about you.

"You know what? Maybe we can...do this another day." You say, trying your best to not let your voice shake entirely, but it did falter.

"You don't wanna--" She was about to suggest trying to distract yourself with the arcade, but at the same time, nothing could make you feel better after seeing such a thing.

"Just take me home." Your mouth moved quickly and you spoke quietly, your eyes flicking back to the spot where she was walking, but she was out of sights already.

You turn around and walk fast, not wanting to linger anymore. Carol walks with you. There was nothing said as you made your way out and to the car. The lovely sounds of the birds chirping now fell on deaf ears as your legs kept you moving.

The car door opens easily with the pull of your hand, and you get in, but you were careful to not slam the door. Carol gets in after you, and turns on the engine.

Her eyes go over to you. You already had your seatbelt on and had settled in your seat, staring out the window. She was about to say something, but she held her tongue, not wanting to make matters worse.

And what would anyone have to say in this anyway? Your lover left you, replaced you with someone else, and broke your heart. 'It will get better'? The only path to take was to go through the pain and that was it. Until you somehow get back up again.

The music starts up once more, and it didn't make you happy as much anymore. You couldn't even focus on it if you tried. You were trying to blink away the tears and ignore the way your throat was swelling up on the inside.

Carol drives you back home safely, keeping her eyes on you here and there. The ride was quiet other than the music, but it was obvious the tension was high.

There were questions unsaid, many going around in your head, but you didn't wanna trouble her with all of them, and she probably wouldn't know what to answer them with anyway.

Soon enough, you arrive back to your house, and you gently unbuckle your seatbelt. At the corner of your eyes, your tears were starting to seep out, just a little.

Carol makes sure she says something before she regrets just being silent, "Hey," she said quietly, and you look at her, your eyes shining with unshed tears. It was the softest you've heard her voice yet.

"I'm always here, if you need me," she says. She knows it won't be much, but it needed to get out of her head. You nod, and sniffle, trying your best to not cry just yet.

You don't say anything back. If you did, you would've broken right there. Instead, you pull on the car handle and open the door, getting out.

Carol watches you as you leave, and she makes sure you get into your house safely before getting out the driveway.

You close the front door of the house, locking it, and freezing in your tracks, taking in a sharp breath before letting it out as a sigh. You nearly hoped it didn't happen, that you would only do that and just wake up from sleeping right now.

But then you let out a sob and lean back on the closed door. You hide your face in your hands, closing your eyes as you started crying, and your chest wracks with broken sobs.

How could she do such a thing? Did she not love you? Were you simply not enough? Too much? You couldn't stop yourself with the questions roaming your head, overthinking everything as you go. The kindest soul with the warmest heart, now broken into a tiny million pieces just because someone couldn't talk about their feelings. Yet you seem to always find a way to blame yourself for every situation.

Sure, maybe even if she did talk to you, your heart would still break, but would it have felt like this? Would it have felt like your lungs were going to collapse from your cries?

You sniffle, and try your best to steady your breathing, but you couldn't, so you just let it do whatever it wants. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve, but the tears keep flowing, so it barely did much.

Fatiguely, with a heavy body, you made your way to the kitchen. You wanted to go to the bedroom, but it was so far, and everything in there would only make your head spin even more. The couch was a choice, but your eyes linger on that recipe book you had looked through this morning.

Your hand twitches to grab it, but you bite your tongue and instead grip the counter, letting yourself slide down on the kitchen floor. You clutch your legs and curl up. The grip your hands held with the fabric of your jeans were enough to probably rip them.

You still had hiccups leaving your mouth, tears leaving your eyes, and you were definitely about to sob once more. The kitchen tiles blurred from your vision getting clouded with tears.

Your hands clumsily reaches in your pocket to grab your phone, and you somehow made it to your homescreen.

The phone was set down on the floor, your hands shaking as your tears rolled down to your chin and dropped down to stain your shirt.

You look up, trying to gather yourself up, but of course you couldn't. Your body needed to let the emotions out, especially after such a situation.

For a few more long minutes, you sat helplessly on the kitchen floor, your breaths going with their own minds instead of your own. You take a few deep breaths, your legs splayed out in front of you before you sniffle and take one last deep breath.

You sat up a little more properly with the little energy you have, and slide your phone just a bit closer to yourself, your fingers gliding across the screen as you opened your calls app, and hovered your finger over the contact name.

You tap on it, trying your best to recollect yourself before she picks up. Your teeth bites down on your bottom lip, every tone of the calling sound making your heart beat faster.

It ends, and her voice comes through.

"Hello?" There's the soft voice. The gentle, soothing voice that lured you into falling in love.

"Wanda." Your voice nearly faltered, but it kept a little of it's stern tone. Your hand slid down to the kitchen floor, the texture keeping your emotions steady, at least enough for a couple minutes.

"Hey, what's up? Did you see my note?" She asks. She's been lying to your face all this time and you didn't even know it. How blind were you?

"Do you know what day it is today?" You ask, ignoring her own question. You sounded so calm in your own anger you honestly nearly even scared yourself.

"No...what?" She was confused, and you could imagine the innocent act of a face she made.

"It's my birthday." You put simply.

"Oh..." that was all that sounded on the phone, and you knew the call didn't get cut off. She just didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay Y/N, I...forgot." She says slowly, and it was obvious she was trying to tread her tracks carefully.

"I can come back tonight, I promise." You almost didn't want her to, but you needed to talk it out. You didn't say anything else, not wanting to talk about everything else over the phone.

"Goodbye, Wanda." You whisper, your voice breaking at the end. You were sure she noticed it, but you'd want her to anyway.

You ended the call, tapping on the red button. That wasn't the end of it yet, of course, but for now, your hand only rests on the floor, your body falling limp against the cabinet.

She calls, but you don't hear it. The phone rings, on, and on.

You clench your jaw, tears filling up in your eyes once more. Your hand weakly silences your phone, and for the next couple more minutes, you lay crying, until your throat was dry and your muscles ached from sitting on the floor.

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

The sun had gone down by now, and the moon came out of hiding.

You were no longer on the kitchen floor, but you were on the couch, curled up like a cat. You haven't done anything but cry ever since you got home. Only right now, your tears had dried, staining your cheeks

You hear the front door unlock, and you feel it coming, the moment you've been dreading.

The brunette appears from behind the door, closing it as she went in the house. Her eyes roamed the place, and eventually, it lands on you.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she realized you were still here. You let out a heavy sigh as you sat up properly.

She heard it. Even with the distance, the quietness of the room captured it. Her heart beated harder in her chest.

"Y/N, please, I'm sorry." She pleads as she makes her way to the couch, having carelessly kicked her shoes off, leaving one tilted on its side. You haven't even said anything yet, and you almost feel sorry yourself.

"Hey,"-- You were sitting right beside the armrest, so, she leans over and gently puts her hand on your cheek. --"I love you. I'm sorry."

You gently push away her hand, turning to look at her with your jaw clenching. She can see the anger in your eyes and it had her giving you a little space.

"Do you?" You say, your head moving slightly, and she notices the way the corner of your eyes seemed a little red. You weren't even looking at her. That was only the second part of the situation.

"Yes!" She says her eyebrows furrowed. She raises her hands in exaggeration before moving one up to her hair, sliding it back as she let out a breath. "...Why is that difficult to understand?"

"Well, maybe because you didn't even say anything when I said it to you just a few days ago!" Her mouth opens, and you assumed she was about to argue that she was drunk during that time, but she lets out a scoff, and that's even worse.

"You're pissed off about that too?" She seemed mad, and you nearly regret even blurting out the sentence.

You close your eyes with your hands, just wanting this to end even though it's just started and just barely scratched surface of what you need to talk about...or argue. You hoped it was the first one.

"Of course I am, Wanda! Where have you been?" You try your best to keep calm, but your voice was laced with anger. Hers though, was higher volume than yours.

"At work!" She walks around to the front of the couch, and you slide your hand down your face. Her face looked so believable, but you knew it wasn't the truth. You saw it with your own eyes.

"Bullshit." You whispered, looking at her with tired eyes. She gets confused and sits down on the couch, her eyes focused on you. You shift your position.

"What? I'm not ly--..." Her voice was a little high of a volume, and she doesn't finish her sentence when she hears you take in a shaky breath.

"...I...saw you." You said quietly, and Wanda, having been caught up in trying to make you believe her had to go quiet in thought of what exactly you mean.

She swallows down a lump in her throat, her eyes catching yours.

"Saw me?" She asked, her voice reducing down to almost the same volume as yours.

"You...were with someone else." You were shaking and your breath was trembling. You willed everything in your body not to sob while trying to get the rest of the sentences out. Her eyes widened at your words, and that was it.

"And I know it's not another person, because I saw your face." You point your finger to her, gently pushing on her chest with it to enunciate your words. Gently. You were never the type to lash out or be rough even when you were angry.

She goes quiet. Both pairs of your eyes were welling up with tears, that much was obvious. Any other words she's had before had died in her throat.

You see a tear rolling down her cheek from the side, and you held your hands back from wiping it off.

She looks at you, guilt swimming in her eyes, and she takes a shaky breath in before letting it go.

"...There's really..." She looks away from you, unable to even stare back at you. Your heart felt heavier than you knew it could.

"...nothing I could say or do to make you feel better." She said tearfully, her lips going down as she thought of her next words. She swallows her collected saliva again. That hit you like a million little glass pieces piercing through every part of your living, loving soul.

There really was not much she could reason with other than the fact that it had been true. She's fallen out of love with you, but even she didn't want to admit it.

"I've been with someone else. I...wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She admitted with her shoulders going up at her last words. There it was. The truth coming straight out of her mouth. Your lips nearly trembled, but your teeth sank down on it.

"How...long?" You ask, and you almost didn't want to know, but for the sake of closure, you urged on. She stays quiet, her own hands gripping the couch.

"How long, Wanda?" You pressed. Was it a month ago? It couldn't have been longer than that.

"Only after eight months of us moving here." It was before you even had your break. You made the math quickly in your head. You moved in a little more than a year ago, so it's been...six months?

You had been in this devouring hole for six months, and you hadn't even realized it. And she didn't tell you or break up with you. Instead she requested a break. No wonder your hope had died to sparks and to nothingness.

"What?" You whispered under your quivering breath, your head tilting in disbelief as your eyes spilled out in silent tears.

"Wanda." You say her name softly. She looked down in her lap as you let out another breath that nearly sounded like a sob. She sniffles, and you know the both of your hearts are breaking.

"Why?" You ask, although it was more of a thought from your head that spewed out unintentionally rather than a logical question. She couldn't answer. She didn't have an answer herself. It just happened. That's how it always is.

"...I thought you loved me." Your voice was small, as if speaking any louder would make the entire universe disappear in fear, just like your love had.

"I did! Or, I do!! I don't know!!!" She blurts out, not being able to decide which one. Her body had deflated at the high chance of losing you tonight.

"So you fell out of love with me completely?" Your eyes watch her carefully, and just for a vivid moment, she hesitantly, just barely nods.

"And you didn't think to just...break it off." You whisper, although it was more of a sentence to yourself. But she heard it anyway. It was obvious what you were pointing towards in your sentence. She sighs. She knows she's taken a step she couldn't take back.

Really, how can someone bring theirselves to having a full conversation about falling out of love? It's a difficult thing to do. Sure, you'd be heartbroken either way, or somehow you would have been able to work it out, but you supposed something else in you just wished you hadn't suffered all those months hoping for absolutely...nothing.

The two of you sit in the silence of what you'd think is death, not knowing what exactly to do with it all. The love you once had was gone. Or at least...hers.

Something spins around in your head. It's been spinning for ages since she had called to take a break, and you had hoped you never had to say it, but what else was there? You could start over, but this love had already started over before. Or had tried to. Technically it was both. This was the end of the road.

"...It's over." You whisper out into the room, and Wanda finally glanced up at you, her face full of heartbreak. Even though she probably saw it coming. You've seen that look before, and your stomach was about to collapse at even a second of it. You kept the eye contact though, needing to fully close this.

In a way, you searched her eyes, for some reason, still searching for anything that once was. But there wasn't anything but hopeless desperation.

"No...no please, I need you." She says, taking breaths in between as she cried. You hated seeing her like this. But you hated going in circles just as much.

"If you really did, then you wouldn't have done such a thing." She had nothing else to say to that. It had been your breaking point. You averted your gaze and stood up, hesitating for a moment, but eventually going off to the bedroom as she sat there in the consequences of her actions.

You walk into the room and close the door, locking it right after. You gently lean your head against the door, while silent tears freely move down your skin. The supply of water in your body was definitely infinite for today. A part of you wanted to laugh at the mere thought, and just to cope, but you were too tired to even do so.

You take in a breath, looking up to the ceiling as you felt your throat swell up, but you try your best to be quiet. You'd hate for her to hear you sob in the other room. She might be doing the same thing herself. You squeeze your eyes shut for a short time, wishing for it all to just stop.

And technically it's about to.

Gently, you push off the bedroom door and your legs take you to the front of your closet. The next move was obvious.

Your hands clenched theirselves as your eyes stare at the closet doors. You take a look around the room, taking in the space with your eyes lingering on some parts. The book Wanda hasn't finished reading. She stopped reading it ever since she started to disappear. You should have seen the signs.

The little teddy bear she got, the daisies you got her in the corner of the room, the DVDs she has in the TV stand, the music collection you have next to it.

You rip your gaze away and let your hands open the closet doors. A travel bag and a luggage bag was just under the hanged clothes, sitting within a compartment.

With trembling hands, you slide both out, putting them on the bed and unzipping them. It was the same bags you used to move into the house.

You grab some of the clothes you once shuffled through just earlier this morning, making sure to remember which ones are Wanda's, and not yours.

They were placed into the bags, and you stared at the folded shirts. They looked wrong. You throw your head back with a sigh, frustrated. The bed dips when you sat on it, the bags moving along just a little with it.

What are you thinking? The promise to stay, to fight through it all, it had all fallen apart. The one person you didn't leave after just a few months, and yet here you are. Packing. You let your body fall down completely on the mattress, legs dangling while you stared at the ceiling.

How many times have you stared up there? You don't even want to know. Before you lost all motivation and your emotions ran slow, you slowly prop yourself up to your arms and got back up. If you stopped now, you won't be gone in the morning.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, everything else you need and all the essentials. The last of it gets stored in the empty parts, and with the quiet sound of the zipper zipping, it was done.

With a relieved sigh that you could now simply lay on the pillows, your arms splayed out, your body giving up the last of its energy. You definitely couldn't get up anymore to do anything else.

This was the last night you were sleeping in this bed.

The crickets couldn't be any more louder with filling up the silence. You hated it. It felt too short, but all at the same time, it feels like it's gone on for too long.

Your vision faded into black as your mind stayed loud, up until it crept into your dreams. She slept on the couch that night.

In the morning, you woke up heavy and go through everything as if you didn't even sleep. Not even a cold shower helped you. Honestly, it might have just helped numbing the pain in your chest instead. You gather your items, gripping your bags tightly.

What if you just drop them and simply isolate yourself in the room? No. You shook your head, walking over to the door.

Your hand remains on the cold door knob for a short while, and you almost stay long enough to have it warmed up from your skin. It gets twisted though, and you open it.

If not for the sleeping figure on the couch, it would have been an empty room. You walk out to the front door with your eyes lingering on her.

Maybe her love was too good for you anyway. You just couldn't give her enough. Or too much. It didn't even make sense anymore. There was no in between your heart and mind could agree on. Even you didn't know what you were thinking.

Just as you click open the lock and went to open the front door, she slowly awakes. The shuffling makes you turn to look at her. You catch the realization and sadness in her eyes when you locked sights. Damn the loud clicks and creaking sounds of the doors.

"Where are you going?" She asks, but it was more of a question, than her wanting to stop you.

"Somewhere that isn't here." You say quietly, like a secret thats not meant to be said. She stares off into a space in the room, lost in thought.

"I really am sorry." You hold your breath a little longer, waiting for her to say something else. But she didn't.

There wasn't anything possible to heal the broken love you held. Maybe if she gave in, but her hands had been touched by someone else and her lips...perhaps had met another's.

"I love you." You whispered impulsively, although quiet and quick, it made sound to reach her ears nonetheless.

But yet, she was silent.

You stare at her for a second more, and few seconds too long to say you're determined in leaving. She wasn't looking at you.

You take a step to turn, and the door slides open with the pull of your hand.

You take another, then when you're outside and the door closes gently, the quietness of it all consumed you.

You check your belongings, you had your bags, your watch, your phone. You have everything except for her.

You check your last pocket, and in it were the keys to the house. You slide it off and it clinks, a familiar sound that you hated made your heart skip a beat every time you heard it.

You leave it off somewhere at the front of the house, and you hope you don't remember where you put it.

It all blurred together as you went to your car, turned on the engine and drove off. Of course you had a plan in mind. You've thought about it a hundred times, but you never thought you'd go with it.

The car arrives to a stop, near the place of your favorite cafe. But you aren't going out. You just needed to drive away from the house.

"Fuck." You cursed under your breath and slammed your fist on the steering wheel, and somehow your hand had slid down to the horn, making you bump into it and the car beeped loudly. You jumped, and looked around alertedly, but no one was there. The sidewalks were empty.

You relievedly let out the breath you were holding once you made sure you were in the clear. Thankfully, it wasn't lunchtime or the weekend.

"God," the word comes out under your breath as you shook your head. The thoughts in your head were harsh, and your shoulders slumped at it.

"How could I have ever possibly thought I was actually the one?" You whisper to yourself, staring at the logo of the car, still somehow shiny, just sitting there in between the controls even from how much you've driven the car.

You grip the steering wheel, but then you notice your arms being covered in a certain cloth. One all too familiar, one you chose in instinct in the morning. You look down on the sweatshirt you're wearing, and it was obvious. It was Wanda's.

You clench your jaw and your hands move to peel it off yourself, the sweatshirt turning into a jumbled up piece of clothing that was inside-out. You didn't even want to look at it, so you threw it to the backseats. You'll deal with it later.

Soon, you went to grab your phone, your hand shaking as you turned on your phone, trying your best to find a certain contact. You hold the device tighter, trying to stop the shaking. But you couldn't.

When you found it, you were hesitant to tap on it, your mind loud of everything bad that could happen. But it was Kate. You take in a shaky breath and tapped on the call button, exhaling your breath as you put your phone to your ear.

"Hello?" Her voice comes out gently. The kinder tone almost makes you let out a breath of relief. Your shoulders relax only a little though.

"Kate?" You ask in a whisper, fiddling a little with your steering wheel and tracing the round shape, the texture brushing the skin of your fingers.

"Hey, what's up?" It was still gentle, but there was a hint of concern in it. She can already tell something was wrong even though you barely said anything.

"Um...I..." Your breath was shaky, and she could hear it. On the other side of the phone, Kate was frowning, but she stayed quiet as she gave you time to get your words out.

You were nibbling your bottom lip as you thought about how to talk about your situation, and in the midst of the moment-- "...Wanda and I broke up," you spew out the words, your mouth not even caring to follow your mind anymore.

"What? What happened?" She was certainly shocked, and you look out the window, trying to distract yourself while at the same time speaking to Kate.

"She was with someone else," you say. The florist you once saw a few months ago came out of his store, greeting a customer outside. It was like you were watching a scene you were once in, in another person's view.

"Oh, shit." She swore out unintentionally, the surprise taking over her mouth. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, and you can imagine her blinking to get ahold of herself. It almost made you let out a soft chuckle.

"...I'm sorry, Y/N. God, I could never imagine Wanda would have done that." Kate said quietly. She adored your relationship together, that much was true, but she also saw the parts of Wanda that you wish weren't true. Yet this, this was an unexpected turn.

"...And since I left the house, I can't even sulk in bed or anything." You let out a gentle breath of a laugh, but it was more of a nervous one.

"I mean, I should've had a plan but-- we'd just keep seeing each other and it just...hurts." The florist had said goodbye to the customer who bought the flowers. He seemed happy as he rewrote some things on his little chalkboard. That man was definitely living his best life.

"Where are you gonna go?" She asks, and you go silent. You couldn't go to Carol's. You wouldn't. She's living with Maria and Monica and you probably wouldn't have a room to sleep other than in the living room on the couch. You wouldn't want to intrude on her living conditions anyway.

"I don't...really have anywhere to go to, so anywhere, I guess." You sink into your seat, looking down in your lap to stop staring at people. Kate was silent for a moment, and you're guessing she either didn't know what to say, or is thinking about something.

"My place is available to you if you want to come. You're always welcome here," she offers, and your eyes relax while your fingers fiddle with theirselves, thinking it over.

"...If that's okay with you. I mean, I don't want to intrude on anything--" You add on after quickly, but you get cut off by Kate.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I've missed having you hanging around. And I promise you, I have two forks and spoons now so we don't have to share one or get a plastic one from Mcdonald's that'll break after a few minutes." She jokes, and that actually made you laugh.

"Okay. Okay, thank you, Kate. I'll be there tomorrow." You sit up more properly, getting ready to drive to the airport. You hadn't visited her in a while, so you already had money ready.

"I will be there to pick you up. Okay? Do not get a cab," she says sternly, and you take in a big breath only to let it out as a small sigh.

"Kate," You say sternly back, wanting to protest and not burden her more. But she hums in disagreement. You know she cared about getting you safe and being the best friend she is, but your head was killing you.

"No. No, Y/N. I am not letting you cry in a cab awkwardly first thing you get out the airport." She argues softly, and you let your shoulders down in defeat. At your silence, she waits.

"I'll let you know when I land." You give in, your voice small.

"Okay, good." You can hear the relief in her voice, and your lip tugs up into the smallest smile

"See you, Kate." You were about to end the call, but she speaks up again.

"Hey."

"Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

"See you."

The call ends, and you start driving.

end of chapter 5.

Series Masterlist <- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

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taglist <3 - join here! :]

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#🥀 dawn’s collection #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagines #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff fic #undeserving of a love like yours #uoally

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1whore1gang · 7 months

Text

it's the little things 🤍

This is part 4!!

Read parts 1-3 HERE

Warnings: more angst, I'm so sorry BUT BUT BUT theres sickeningly sweet fluff at the end so bare with me ;), cussing, emotions, mentions of SA

I tried to make this one longer bc i feel like part 1 was so good and then 2 and 3 kinda flopped so heres me trying to write more than I usually do.

Also, I'm surprised no one has noticed a small writing detail I did last chapter regarding Price. I'll do it again in this chapter to see if anyone can catch on hehehehe :)

EDIT: not me saying I wanted to attempt to make this as long as part one when part one was 2,437 words and this one ended up 4,314 words....oops

Taglist: @gaymistakeboi @batw3nch @thedevillovesflowers @almightywdm @ghostslittlegf @sketchyfandomgirl @under-the-dirt @clear-your-mind-and-dream @darkangel4121 @vreselia @llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx

(sorry if i forgot anyone!!! please yell at me if I did!!)

"Stop that!" Your voice was almost begging as Soap kept grabbing at Ghost's little hoodie strings. Soap kept fighting with Ghost all day and you couldn't handle it anymore. You finally picked up Soap and put him alone in the playpen. "You're in time out."

He began to wail, making you shed tears of your own. You were exhausted from the three little boys. They'd been causing trouble lately and keeping you up all night this week.

Gaz looked up at you with a little toy car shoved halfway in his mouth, blinking innocently as Ghost continues to play with his blocks as he was before Soap grabbed him. "At least you two are giving me a break today." Soap continued to wail dramatically, not even crying, just wanting your attention.

Laswell had told you that he needed to learn that he's not the only one you take care of, so you sometimes have to leave him to cry it out on his own to teach him. She'd stopped by the other day to brief you on a new group of recruits.

She was definitely questioning why you of all people had your Captain's so-called 'nephews' and you had to think on your feet, but she didn't buy it.

"Tell me the truth, who's kids are these Y/N?" Her voice was in that motherly tone she had mastered with all of you.

"You wouldn't believe me." You said, trying to quiet Soap's crying, which led to her advice about letting him cry it out.

"If you're going to tell me they're yours, yeah I won't." She shook her head, becoming increasingly more annoyed with you.

"Promise you won't report me for drugs?"

"Depends."

You had told her everything about finding the boys like this, and she had to take some time to think it over until she noticed how Soap only plays with Ghost, and how Gaz keeps to himself and didn't cry once while she was there. She took a day before she texted you again telling you she was there if you needed any help.

That was 3 days ago, and you didn't want to bother her since she had taken over some of your duties since your hands were quite full.

You leaned against the foot of your bed as you finally heard Soap's cries die down, turning around to see he had tuckered himself out into a sleep. You took a couple of deep breaths, trying to dry your tears when you felt little hands on your feet.

You opened your eyes to see Gaz and Simon grabbing at your toes. They both sit down at your attention. You went to go move to see what they needed when Gaz gave you a goofy smile.

Smiling back, you swopped him up to your chest to rock him, almost thanking him for bringing a smile to your face. You heard the familiar little grunt from Simon as you looked at him.

His hand was just outstretched towards you with one of his little blocks, offering it to you. Laughing a little, you took it and noticed the letter on the block was your initial.

Your eyes went wide as you looked back at Simon. "You know...or do you?" The question was more for yourself than him. You knew Simon couldn't understand you, he was a baby, there's no way he could.

"Is this me?" You cooed, pointing to the block he gave you. He grunted in response. "There's no way." Was he actually coherent? Was your Simon in there, he just couldn't express properly? Or had little Simon heard your name enough times that he knew? You felt something wet on your neck and saw Gaz drooling, thanking the universe that two of the boys so far have gone down for a nap.

Setting him in the playpen, you return to Simon, wanting to see if there was any way you could find out if he was cognitively adult Simon. "Do you know what's going on?" Your voice was gentle and quiet. Watching adamantly, you waited for him to give you any reaction. "Simon?"

His wide eyes looked up at you, focused shifted from his toys. "Do you know?" He blinked a couple of times, then looked around the room. He grunted a couple of times before looking down at his blocks.

"Simon?" You said again sweetly. You watched as Simon's lip began to quiver as he looked over his blocks, he began to cry, grabbing at the blocks and then throwing one before beginning to cry. "Oh honey, I'm sorry."

He reached out for you and you picked him up, comforting him. "It's okay honey, I'm sorry." You could tell something had bothered him, but what?

He wasn't wailing or screaming, just a silent whine of a cry. Almost like he was sad or frustrated. "Are you mad at something?" You moved to where you could see his face, cradling him.

You watched his breathing catch in his chest at your question. You ran two of your fingers over his little chest, rubbing circles to calm him. "Breathe Simon, don't hold your breath on me. You're okay, work through the cry sweetheart."

Your touch immediately helped him take in a good sized breath. "That's it." You watched him slowly calm himself down as you shushed him and held him. "Did your blocks make you mad?"

He crawled out of your arms clumsily, the most movement you've seen from him. He threw another block, not aggressively or at anything, but at the ground. "Yeah? Do you not like your blocks?" You reached for another toy for him to play with but he grunted.

You snapped your attention back to him, "What's wrong? I wish you could tell me." You felt helpless. He clearly was distraught over something, and you had no way of knowing what was happening.

He stared down at his blocks again, breathing in huffs. He held one out to you after picking it out. It was a 'Y' block. "What does this mean? Does this mean you understand?" He grunts.

You feel tears sting your eyes. "You know..." He grunts again. "Oh my God!!" You pick him up and stare at him. You bring him to your chest in a small hug, teary eyed. "I'm gonna get you boys back to normal, I promise."

Some hours passed and you had attempted to get a sign out of Gaz or Soap to no avail. It seems as if Simon was the only one who was cognitive of what was going on, but you still were unsure of the extent of his knowledge and awareness.

It's been a week since you had seen the Captain, and as much as you told yourself you wanted to keep it that way, deep down you wanted the softness he had when the boys were were first found. At night, you'd catch yourself dreaming about the way he looked that evening he popped into your office to ask if you were hungry, or the way he speak quietly to you in the mornings knowing you were up late with one of the boys.

Laswell hasn't mention anything about him either but you didn't know if that was a personal choice, or if she actually had no information regarding him.

You wanted to know where he was. Not only did you miss the warmth he held when you two were handling this situation, but you missed his help. He would always let you sleep in or let you take a rest. He cooked and stepped up so you weren't overexerting yourself.

You missed the companionship.

You glanced over to the clock to see it was nearly midnight, but when you scanned the time stamp on your phone, you saw a message from your email.

It was from General Shephard. It was sent hours ago.

Dear Lieutenant L/N,

I am writing this to you to pass it on that the Private you sent to me regarding sexual harassment has been found innocent. There was no camera footage found after review and he has no background violations or any previous infarctions.

Best Regards,

General Shephard

You felt your heart sink in your chest. There's cameras all over the training room, how could they not see it? The familiar sting landed in your throat as your emotions took over you.

Innocent? After what he did? How could Shephard not see that?!

You felt like you were going to scream, the pain unbearable.

It made you think back to Dubai. The severity of that event would've landed that man in jail. The way you had bruises on your neck and hips from the harsh grip of his hands for weeks, the way you limped for days. You remember the cold stare of your Captain when you told him, the nonchalant "Brush it off."

You were crushed.

You had lost.

The sun shone through the windows of your room as you woke up, looking over to see Gaz and Ghost already up. You picked them up to change them and then situated them in holsters, one on your chest, one on your back.

You did the same with Soap and then placed him on your hip, taking them to the kitchen to feed them.

Taking a moment while the bottles warmed, you took in the sight of all three boys in their highchairs, drowsy. Their little eyelashes fluttering as they struggled to stay awake, babbling and cooing.

It made you take a step back and really breathe in the moment, this may be the only time in your life that you're able to have this motherly role, even if they aren't your kids.

The microwave beeped and you shook the bottles, handing each one to the littles, watching as the half-hazardly drank the bottles. You felt a joy spark in your chest, enjoying this time with them despite the trouble they cause.

And here you thought they were troublesome as adults. Jokes on you.

You sat down at the breakfast bar as you waited, your mind drifting to distant memories.

"Y/N!!!" You could hear Soap's voice as you fell to your knees clutching your shoulder in pain. Removing your hand, you saw the blood seeping into the cotton material of your uniform. The sounds of warfare around you felt muffled as the pain radiated through your body from the gunshot wound.

You leaned on your hand to steady yourself, trying to breathe through the pain as the sound of skidding sounded in your ears. Looking up, you saw Soap sliding over to you, firing to cover you. "Get on my back! We gotta get ya outta here lass!" You moved slowly, trying to stay off your right arm. You winced as you climbed onto his back, squeezing your legs to keep yourself up as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

He had carried you out of the fire into a safe house not too far away as he immediately performed first aid to your shoulder. You remember the way he remained calm when his face was in your eyeline, but you could watch his muscles tense as he worried about your state.

The memory made you smile. Soap was always there for you, like he had eyes in the back of his head. Anytime you got hurt out in the field, he was worrying himself sick. He cared so much, and had such a big heart of gold.

"How dare you?!" You laughed, slamming down your Uno cards.

Gaz taunted you as he celebrated his win. You two were in a tent on a mission trying to boost both of your morales. Uno was your favorite game, but he was too good at it for your own good. No matter how strategic you were, he would always win.

Gaz was like that at every game, the rest of the team dreading game nights. Once in awhile though, you'd catch him letting you win because he enjoyed seeing you rub it in everyone's faces. It brought him joy to see you smile, so if he had to take a loss, he would.

You heard a whine as Soap finished his bottle. The other two boys were still working on theirs, so you went to go wash out the empty one.

"Ghost! How copy?" Your voice was panicked as you frantically looked around Las Almas. You were completely separated from Soap and Ghost. Soap had ended up around two miles from you, but Ghost wouldn't come through the radio. It had you so anxious you were going to be sick.

"Soap, do you have visual on Ghost?"

"No," his voice was strained from his shot wound. "There's a church about halfway between us, let's meet there and regroup."

For the next hour and some, you and Soap worked together to find a church, and when you did, Soap was already there. You rushed to him, relief washing over you until you heard a familiar hum.

Turning around, you say Ghost. "Don't fucking scare me like that ever again!" You punched his chest. "I thought you were dead!" You were angry with him, trying to land a hard hit on him.

He grabbed his arms and wrapped them around his waist as he silently brought you into an embrace. You cried into his chest as he brushed his hand over your head, the other drawing shapes into your back. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easy." He let out.

"You scared me so bad, I thought I lost you." You said through sobs.

"You'll never lose me."

Once the boys were finished with their bottles, you washed everything out and put the boys in some fresh clothes. You had decided you were going to take them out as you needed more supplies.

Maybe you'd stop by a park on the far end of town so they could get some fresh air too.

And everything had gone according to plan while you were out.

You even stopped to get ice cream, giving the boys a bite or two each of your own cup.

The day was full of fun and laughter, the sun was bright and the boys were well-behaved.

When you arrived back to base, you opened your door and set your bags down and put the boys in their playpen when you heard someone clear their throat.

"Y/N..." You turned around to greet the person in your room.

"Laswell, what's wrong?" You saw the solemn look ridden on her face.

"It's John, we need to talk about him."

You had brought her into the kitchen of the compound, brewing some coffee as you both sat down. "I don't really wish to talk about him right now." You said as you scoot your chair in.

"I know what happened, he told me everything. But, there's something you need to know. I know where he is, and I'm worried about him." She looked at you, silently asking you to hear her out. "I know he's not your favorite person but-"

"He disregarded my sexual assault in Dubai and prevented me from reporting it and when I called him out, he walked out on me. On top on everything else he's done, of course he's not my favorite person, he never has been." You were already fired up.

"I know what he did. I found him yesterday in his office, passed out drunk. He had your file pulled up on his computer. When I finally got him up and had him sober up, he spilled everything. He was crying. John doesn't cry Y/N." Laswell was trying to get to you through your emotions. You weren't falling for that.

"Why would I give a shit?"

"I've never seen you this fired up over him, there's something you're not telling me." That motherly tone is back. Your mind went to his kind smile, the gentle look in his eyes.

"He let me in." Your voice was quiet.

"Excuse me?!"

"When I brought the boys to him, hoping to find some help or answers, he wasn't the man I've come to know through my time of service. He wasn't Captain Price anymore, I saw John. He was kind and warm and gentle. He was sweet to me and helped with the boys, always letting me rest. I saw his smile, and the look in his eyes was unlike anything I've seen before. I've had a glimpse and now I'll never see it again." You felt hot tears sting your cheeks.

"I wouldn't say that." Laswell shook her head. "There is so much you don't know about him dear, you should go talk to him."

"I can't even look at him after he walked out."

"Give him a chance to explain himself." Laswell put her hand on yours. "Let him tell you for himself."

Your eyes widened at the gesture. "Tell me what?"

"What's got him so in his head. Please." She begged you to go see your Captain in his office. After some convincing and more tears, you finally gave in, just to get her off of you.

Your footsteps were loud in your ears as you approached his door, knocking lightly. There was no response. You slowly turned the doorknob, entering the room, closing the door behind you.

You froze at the sight before you. There were files all over his desk, most of them with your name on it. Your Captain was sitting with his head in his hands. "Captain?" Your voice was meek.

His head shot up, wide eyes staring into you. You could see the bags under his eyes, his eyes red from crying. He had a bottle of bourbon on his desk, only a droplet or two left in it. "Laswell said you had something to tell me." You said, not wanting to make anymore eye contact.

He remained silent, the room thick with it. You heard him stand from his chair, but you remained with your gaze on your shoes. "I-" He began. "I won you the case."

That's when your head snapped up. "What?"

"The Dubai case. With that guy. I, uh, I filed everything together and he's being put in jail."

You were confused. "You're 3 years too late."

"It's taken me three years." His words cut you deep. "I went straight to Shephard and Laswell when we got back from the mission. I filed a case against him in your name."

You stood dumbfounded. "That doesn't explain the way you reacted, nor the way you walked out on me." You were still hurt. You couldn't forgive him.

"Understandable." He sniffled as he began to fiddle with the files on his desk. "There's no excuse for the way I reacted, but you do deserve an explanation." He cleared his throat and looked up at you. When you didn't say anything, he continued. "When you came to me about it, at first I didn't think anything of it. I had a lot of female soldiers doing that to me that trip just so they could get sent home early or get a fat check. I caught them lying and they'd immediately back down. My mind told me you were doing the same thing." He takes in a shaky breath. "That was until I came to find you one morning and caught you changing. You were putting your shirt on when I saw your bruising. It looked like you had been beaten, I watched your walls come up that day and I watched you cower into a shell of yourself. That's when I know you were telling the truth."

"Why didn't you say anything?" You spoke up.

He sighed and took a second to collect himself, on the verge of tears. "I knew the statistics of women winning these types of cases, especially with the lack of proof. I snuck pictures of you to document your marks, and I asked every soldier I could to find a witness. No one came forward. The case would've never won, and I knew that. That's why I never said anything to you, I couldn't stand to watch you feel the pain of not getting the justice you deserved. Shephard and Laswell told me how poor the evidence was, and the three of us spent years trying to dig up anything we could." He paused, pulling out a piece of paper. "6 months ago, a witness came forward. That put the case over the edge and we won. I found out this morning."

You scanned the paper, the woman was a victim of the same man, same situation. Reading over it, you related to every word. This woman won you the case. "So what's your reasoning behind you being an asshole the entire time I've worked with you? Even as a Lieutenant yourself, you were always an asshole to me."

Price sighs, then walks around his desk to face you. "I was angry. All these years, I've been angry. Before my promotion, when I met you, you were just a Sergeant. I watched you in the field and around the male soldiers and I felt angry. I knew you'd be a problem and I knew I'd have to deal with it."

"Then why did you invite me to join the 141?" You were confused.

"The anger only multiplied when your case came to be, I was angry at the thought you'd lose and the son of a bitch who hurt you would still be loose to hurt others. I've been angry with you all these years because I knew one of these days, I'd run the risk of losing my rank." Price took a step towards you. "I was angry at the thought of losing you."

You continued to stare at him in confusion. "What're you on about?"

"I would never be able to have you the way I want, it'd be frowned upon." Your eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" You took a step backwards as his hand cupped your face.

"You haunt me. Your smile, your eyes. The way you laugh from your chest. My dreams are littered with images of you, reminding me of what I can't have."

"Why can't you 'have me'? I'm on your squad?" You were oblivious to his insinuations, confused as could be.

"Because I could never ask you to love a man you hate."

His words shook you to your core. "I love you Y/N, I have since I found you out in that shack in the mountains abandoned by your unit. I love the way you effortlessly care for others, the way your perfume lingers in a room. As soon as I thought I had suppressed by feelings, you show up at my door with three children. Yes, they're our coworkers, but I couldn't help but see the big picture. I see the way you interact with them, the way you molded into this figure that had nothing but admiration and love. It was so different from the woman I know in the field, the woman behind the rank."

He was staring into your eyes when it all hit you.

The way you played images of him shirtless that one night you opened the door, his kind smile, his gentle eyes. The way you dreamed of him in the kitchen cooking for you.

You loved him too.

You glanced down to his lips and without another word, John pulled you into a kiss. Your lips molded into his, his kiss warm and passionate. He kissed you like he'd never get to again.

The kiss slowed down time, and all you could think of was his hands holding you tightly against him like you'd disappear if he let go.

"John..." You said as you backed away. "I love you too, I've missed you." He kissed you again before sliding his hand down to hold yours.

"Let's go home."

The ride was silent back to the compound, even as you both approached your room. Laswell left with a nod and a wink to you.

You thanked your lucky stars you listened to her.

All three boys looked up at John from the playpen, wide eyed. Gaz began to cry as John swooped him up and comforted him. "They missed you too. It was tough doing this alone."

"I'm so sorry I walked out, I should've told you then and there, stayed around."

"You're here now." You smiled up at him as he leaned in to plant yet another kiss to your lips. You giggled as you heard Gaz giggle and Soap and Ghost let out little babbles and flailed their arms in excitement. John chuckled too.

"Do you think they saw this coming?" He asked.

"Probably." You moved to go change into your pajamas, John doing the same. Coming out of his bathroom, you saw him shirtless and wearing his signature flannel pants. You took in a deep breath.

"Like the view? Cause, I'm loving mine. C'mere." John sat on the edge of his bed as his hands ran over your thighs. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping here? Or do you still want the couch?"

You thought for a moment. "Can I have one more night on the couch?"

"Whatever makes you feel at home." John smiled as he crawled back into bed, wishing you a goodnight.

You smiled back as you climbed under the blankets on the couch. As much as you wanted to sleep next to him, it was intimidating for you. You needed to muster up the courage to be that close to him like that.

For now, you were just happy you found your feelings for him and you learned how his behavior all these years was because he was fighting for your honor.

You had John back, and that's all you could ask for.

#captain price x reader #modern warefare 2 x reader #soap mactavish smut #soap mactavish x reader #tf141 x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #johnny mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick

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glassartpeasants · 2 months

Text

Run Rabbit Run .09

Yandere!Eustass Kidd x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of past abuse, pregnancy, implications of death,

A/N: So since theres gonna be a little more people in this chapter then usually so some people are gonna have the same colors but different size fonts to indicate a different persons talking. hope its not to confusing. The key to help for people with the same color is below

Chopper- small orange Nami- regular orange

music playlist

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10

~~~

“We’re here! Everyone assume positions and get ready to dock!” The sound of thunderous footsteps and Tashigi’s voice breaks through your nap. You rub your eyes as the sun shines through the windows of the bunk room.

“Wake up (Y/N)! We’re at Sabaody!” Tashigi’s voice once again cuts through the silence as she calls out to you from behind the door.

“Mmh, I’m up…just give me a second.” You stretch gently before gathering the strength to push yourself up. Breathing heavily, you manage to sit up, the purple turtleneck you wore slightly riding up before you pull it back down. You grab your hat from beside you and position it so that it keeps your hair in place and hides the scar along your face.

“Do you need help picking up your things?” The door opens as Tashigi peaks inside to check up on you.

“That’d be wonderful. I can’t really pick up things like that anymore, haha.” You watch her grab some things and hand them to you before she carries some things herself.

“There's no need to do that. I’m going to have to carry it after I get off the ship.”

“I’m using it as an excuse to just hang out with you for a little longer. Smoker might make me do something.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the slight pout on Tashigi’s face. Yet, you were happy you’d be able to talk to her as friends before you guys became ‘enemies.’ The thought made your heart bleed, but there was nothing you could do about it. Even if you were enemies outside, you’d always be friends in your soul.

The thought of not being woken up and seeing the smiling faces of G-5 marines made a small voice inside you tell you to stay. That you’ll miss them more then you think you would. It was like an earworm replaying the same song over and over again. But when you bite your tongue harshly, all those thoughts leave, and the voice telling you to return to the Straw Hats and that your almost home comes back. It’ll always be hard, never being able to talk to them peacefully ever again. But the memories will soothe the pain.

“Captain! We’’ve docked! We’re on tree 30!” One of the marines notifies Tashigi and you on th ebay that the ship was anchored. Thankfully, quite a bit away yet close enough to bay 41. While you weren’t looking forward to walking that far, it’d be worth it in teh end to see everyone.

“Here’s to hoping my shoes don’t get drenched in whatever makes those bubbles here.”

“It actually doesn’t! Truly weird stuff. Have you never been to Sabaody before?”

“I’ve been here but haven’t actually been on land. Just a quick sight as we passed by to head to the new world.”

“It’s a pretty place but also full of bad people. Bounty hunters, other pirates, and not to mention those disgusting Celestial dragons. Makes me sick.”

“Anyone sane would want to see those horrible people go down.”

Memories of the Celestial Dragons you encountered two years ago flood your mind as you hold back the urge to vomit everywhere. You remember a conversation you had with Killer months ago when you were still under Kidd’s lies. How he told you about how the Celestial Dragons mark their slaves by burning their symbol into their skin. Almost exactly like the jolly roger scarred into your own. Once again, though, you escaped your kidnapper's clutches. But there's so many people who’ll never be given the chance you’ve had. Never be able to see the sun as a free person.

‘No. Don’t dwell on that. Today’s supposed to be happy. Stop thinking about things you can’t control.’

“Well, this is it.” As soon as you were 20 feet from the ship, you and Tashigi stopped. Turning around to face the ship, you saw everyone gather to say goodbye, including Vice Admiral Smoker.

“So this is it, huh?”

“I guess so.” A little chuckle leaves your lips before it turns into tears. Despite trying your best to silence them, they continue to flow.

“I’m so thankful for all of you…You’ve always done so much for me, and there's nothing I can do to repay you. I’m going to miss you all so much.” You can feel Tashigi wrap her arms around you before starting to cry as well.

“Don’t leave (Y/N)! Stay with us!” The two of you held each other tight as tears continued to cry harder.

“I’m sorry! We can still be friends regardless of our sides!” Tears made your vision blurry as you held onto Tashigi for a little while longer before leaving her embrace. Walking up to Vice Admiral Smoker, you lower your head.

“Thank you for everything, Vice Admiral. I promise to protect the honor of G-5 and take down any pirate who dares speak ill of you. And I also promise that no civilian will be hurt by my hands.”

“They better not. Now, get out of here before I change my mind.” With a chuckle, you lift up your head and grab your things with Tashigi’s help.

“Oh, Tashigi, one more thing before I go. I have to ask you something.” With all the overthinking you’ve been doing, a scenario popped up in your head that you couldn’t help but ask her to be a part of.

“What is it?”

“If, by some chance, I do end up keeping the baby with me, and I happen to pass away, would you take care of them for me? Like a godmother or something?” Once again, you were wrapped up in Tashigi’s arms as she cried.

“I’m so honored! Of course, I will. Oh my god (Y/N), you're so sweet!” The two of you hug a little longer before separating. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you wave to the other marines, who wave back to you.

“Goodbye, everyone! I love you all!” With a final wave, you turn your back and make your way to the thousand sunny.

“Do you think she’ll be safe? I can’t help but worry.” Smoker watched as the captain of G-5 gently wiped her tears away. How a single pirate managed to worm her way into the hearts of G-5 will forever be a mystery to outsiders.

“She’ll be fine. As much as I’d like to arrest those Straw Hats right now, I’ll wait. We’ll definitely be seeing each other again. A pirate can only escape for so long.” Crossing his arms, he watches you walk away.

He’s never met someone like you in all his years on earth. Someone who’s been through hell twice yet still has kindness to give to a world that turned their back on her. How you’ve managed to pull through all these months was a miracle. So many nights, people were awakened to the sound of your cries from the night terrors you suffered, but no one said a word about it to him until a day ago. To suffer all that and still find a way to smile is a trait not many can say they have. It’s admirable.

“Let’s get ready to go back to the New World. Everyone get ready!”

“Yes, Vice Admiral!” Watching the Marines scatter helps Smoker ignore the sadness in his chest. Despite how he’d outwardly deny it, he’ll miss you. You can only hang out with someone for so long before they worm their way into your heart. And somehow, you managed to set up a place without meaning, too.

~~~

‘This place is much bigger than I remember. I hope I’m going the right way. Not like I can ask for directions.' You were trying to avoid the public eye yet not look suspicious, so you just kept your head down. With your hair covering your scar and your hat hiding your face, a slight sense of safety coursed through your veins. But not enough for you to ignore the wanted posters that had your face scattered everywhere. Even though there was so much noise around you, you still managed to catch your name being talked about.

“When the hell are the Marines going to catch her? Doesn’t she know the destruction and death she’s caused?!”

“She should just go back to Captain Kidd. Everyone would be safer and happier. She’s being selfish.” Those words make you stop in your tracks as a rage boils inside you. You know you promised Smoker that you wouldn’t lay a hand on a civilian, but how dare they call you that? They don’t know what you’ve been through. How can they tell you what you should do when they haven’t experienced anything you have?

“Let’s not forget she’s pregnant! The most infamous worst-gen pirate has a child! No doubt that child is going to be just like their dad!” Your knuckles turn white from how hard you were gripping your belongings. Every cell in yoru body begged for you to teach them a lesson. To tell people that they had no right to treat you the way they were. That if they went through what you went through, they wouldn’t be talking the way they were. You can feel your body shake in anger as they continue to talk.

‘I have to keep moving. I’m gonna do something I’ll regret if I don’t.’ Taking a deep breath, you begin to fast walk away from the two civilians. You’ve come too far to blow your cover now.

“300,000,00 berri’s if given to Captain Kidd, but only 100,000,000 if given to the Marines? Why would anyone turn her into the Marines if the price Kidd is asking is much higher?”

“Right?”

‘Just keep walking. Just keep walking.’ Water begins to appear at your tear line as you try to ignore the angry tears that threaten to spill. Your heart beats hard as you look at the ground, only sneaking glances at the trees to see that faithful 41.

“Please leave me alone! I’ll give you all my money. Just let me go!” A woman screaming caught your attention, making you scan your surroundings. When you turned your head to the right, down a dark alley, you saw a large masked man gripping a woman's wrist harshly. The scene triggered your own memory of being in her shoes.

“Please! Just let me go! I-I’ll give you all the money I have! Just let me go!” You try to pry his meaty hand off your wrist, but inside, you know it was pointless. It seemed your desperate attempt amused him.

“Now, why would I let something I caught fair and square go?” The way his eyes looked up and down your body made a shiver go down your spine.

“I could get a pretty penny selling you as a slave. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No! Someone help me!” You begged for someone to help her. The chances of your cover being blown would multiply if you jumped in. Yet, the more seconds that went by, the more your hope diminished. Images of that man two years ago, the day everything happened, popped into your head. The man begged for help, and all he wanted was to see his family, but no one did anything. All they did was ignore him as those horrible people arrived and killed him.

You couldn’t do anything then, but maybe now, you could.

Picking up your bags, you walk into the dark alley, your heart beating wildly. Looking up just enough to see the man’s chest, you crack your knuckles before speaking.

“Didn’t you hear her? Let her go.” The sounds of struggling stopped before a raspy laugh left the man.

“Your kidding me? A pregnant lady trying to jump in and help? What are you gonna do? Waddle over here and give birth on me?” His words only made you see red.

“I’m going to give you one more chance. Let her go, or else.” The familiar tingling in your fingertips reemerges as you wait for the man’s next move. Your fingers twitch as you can hear barely silent crackling.

“Oh, I’m so scared!” The man mocked you and seemingly gripped the woman's wrist harder.

“You're hurting me!” As those final words leave the woman’s mouth, you curl your fingers into claws before feeling the tingling get stronger and the crackling gets louder.

Light began filling the dark alley, flashing and flickering as the ball of pure electricity in your hand started forming. Each snap of electricity only made you pour more anger into your attack.

“A devil fruit user? Go figure. Just because you have some powers doesn’t change the fact that you're weak-” After deeming it has enough charge, you throw it straight for the masked man. You watch him try to dodge, only to have it hit him directly in the chest.

The woman manages to pull her wrist free from the man’s grip before running behind you. Both of you watch as the ball of electricity disperses and runs across his entire body. You watch him grab his chest before falling back and landing on the ground with a heavy thud. Without saying a word, you watch as the man spasms on the ground, trying to get a breath in.

“We need to go now.” With the woman nodding, you both quickly walk away from the alley and into the road. Having all your belongings in your hands, you feel slightly drained. Your lungs burn as your mouth goes dry. Sure, you’ve used your devil fruit powers on pirates while in G-5, but that stopped when you found out you were pregnant. So it’s been months since you’ve used it on anyone.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you anywhere else, right?”

“No. And yes, I’m okay.”

“Good.” Turning your back, you begin walking towards Grove 41 once again.

“Wait!”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you. I don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t come.”

“No problem. Just make sure you stop using back alleys and stay on public roads.”

“I will.” You watch the woman run in the opposite direction from you and take that as your cue to continue your original quest.

~~~

After walking for what felt like hours, the familiar smiling lion comes into view, and you feel your heart jump in your chest. Seeing the thousand sunny after being in the dark for so long felt like seeing a miracle happen before your eyes. A new-found energy bursts inside you as you start walking faster with a new vigor.

‘I’m here! I’m here!’ Holding your belongings with a crushing grip, you can feel a huge smile spread to your face. You could hear laughter the closer you got, and your heart felt as if it were going to explode!

Soon enough, you were close enough to where you were able to see a clear view of the crew. You try to speak, but nothing seems to come out. It felt like it was a dream. Even though you were speechless, your presence seemed to be enough as a familiar face called out to you.

“(Y/N)?!” You watch her run up to you along with the others.

“(Y/N)!”

Not even seconds pass before you're encased in a hug. The feeling of being near them was enough to have you start sobbing. Being surrounded by pure love and care but the people you owe your life to felt unreal. You’ve dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it is finally here, you don’t know where to start.

“You're okay! I was so worried about you!”

“Yeah, me too!”

“We all were,”

“I missed you all so much…I’m so happy!" Despite your limited ability, you try to hold everyone close to you. It’s been so long since you’ve been so happy that the feeling almost felt foreign.

“I can’t believe this is real. I was so afraid I’d never see you guys again!”

“Come on! Let’s go sit down now. I bet you're tired.” Through your tears, you nod as you let them take you aboard the Sunny. You notice a shiny substance covering it.

“What's that?”

“Oh! It’s the coating that’s going to help bring us down to Fishman Island!”

“Wonder if Franky enjoys having his ship covered in bubbles.” Laughter erupts through the tears. Having your shoes crunch against the grass of the safety has a wave of safety washing over you. Sitting on the bench connected to the mast pole, your able to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Robin and Nami sat next to you while almost everyone else sat on the grass.

“Where’s Luffy and Zoro?”

“They should be here soon. I swear if that moss head got lost.” You finally take off your hat as the sun is beating down harshly, making you sweat. With your hair finally being able to move, the strands that once hid the huge scar on your face disappeared. Leaving it for them all to see.

“Oh my god, what happened?! How did you get that scar?!” While you knew you shouldn’t have been surprised they’d notice it right away, it still managed to shock you. Maybe you just lived with it for so long that you’ve forgotten what you used to look like without it.

“This? Oh. I went face first into a corner of a crate.”

“Does it hurt? Here, let me check!” You watch as Chopper hops onto the bench before examining your face.

“How you are not blind is amazing, considering where it’s placed.” Feeling Chopper's little hooves on your face causes a small warmth to erupt in your chest.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. I’ve had it for a while. And it hasn’t caused any problems.”

“What about this one? There's a huge one on the back of your head.” You feel Robin's nimble fingers gently brush through your hair, her gentle touch reminding you of your mother. The sensation made you bite your lip as you choked back tears.

“Can you do that again, Robin? It felt nice.”

“Sure.” Her calm voice and touch made your eyes close as you tried to regain composure.

“(Y/N)?”

“Hm? Yes Robin?” A shiver goes down your spine as you feel her trace the scar.

“Did….Kidd do this to you?” Simply hearing his name makes tears finally slip down your cheeks, and some even onto Chopper's hooves. With your vision blurry, you close your eyes and nod. Even saying his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth.

‘God damnit. I should be crying tears of joy! Not sadness!’ You argued with yourself as you tried to pull yourself together. Gripping your pants, you dig your nails into the fabric.

“How about we change the subject? Umm—” A loud rumbling echoes around everyone, making you hold your stomach.

“Sorry. I haven’t eaten a snack or something.” With the adrenaline finally settling down, you realize how tired and hungry you were.

“Do we have supplies restocked?”

“Of course (Y/N)-swan!”

“That’s good. I’ll just go get something to eat real quick.” Just as you go to sit up, Nami sits you right back down.

“Sanji can get it. You’ve walked all the way here, so Sanji can whip you up something. Right, Sanji?” The stare-down Nami gave the cook made a giggle slip past your lips. You watch Sanji run so fast to the kitchen that dust almost flies behind him.

“Okay, the rest of you, except Chopper, scram.” Nobody moved for the first 20 seconds.

“SCRAM!” Everyone begins to run in different directions until only you, Nami, Robin, and Chopper are left.

“Okay, now that they’re all gone, we can talk about more important things.”

“More important things?” Nami puts her hand on your back, and Robin continues to gently comb through your hair. You watch her look down at your stomach before looking back up at you sympathetically.

“How are you holding up? Do you have any pain?”

“It’s okay. Not anything right now. I get migraines sometimes from the head injury and back pain, but that’s it. Just regular pregnancy things, I suppose.”

“Have you been eating properly and sleeping well? Taken a tumble or anything?”

“No. I’ve been stable on my feet. And almost all I do is eat and sleep.” Chopper lets out a sigh of relief.

“That’s good.”

“I do work out and exercise. Gotta keep myself strong, ya know?”

“We just don’t want you to overdo it. Pregnancy is no easy feat, so it's nice to hear that you're doing well.”

“How far along are you, do you know?”

“Six to seven months.” With Nami and Robin comforting you, it was easier to talk about the baby growing inside you. Yet the nagging thought in your head kept coming back.

“Do you think Luffy will let me stay a straw hat? Even after knowing that I’m pregnant?” You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you look at Nami and Robin.

“Of course! You’ll always be a straw hat!”

“No matter what!”

“Everything will be okay (Y/N).” You put your arms over Nami and Robin and hold them close. Chopper cuddles close and hugs you as well. Tears fall from your eyes, and you never want to let them go.

“I don’t know what to do, your guys. It feels like no matter what I choose, everything is the wrong decision.”

“If I give the baby up for adoption, there's a chance Kidd will find them or the marines will use them as bait. If I were to keep them, the Marines and Kidd still would be after us. All I want is for them to grow up happy and safe. Is that really too much to ask?”

“No. Not at all. No matter what you choose, we’ll stand beside you.”

“You’ll never have to be alone again.” You see Chopper jump up from the shared hug with a look of shock and wonder in his eyes.

“Chopper? Are you okay?” Everyone split from the hug and looked at Chopper in concern.

“I felt them kick me! When we were hugging, I felt them kick me in the face!” Normally, such words wouldn’t have a positive reaction, but this seems to be a different story. Nami and Robin seemed excited, too, at Chopper's confession.

“Really?! Aw!”

“They know were talking about them.” Robin smiled and giggled softly.

“Have you thought about names?”

“Not really. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl even.”

“Well, do you have names that you planned on naming your baby with (....)? Perhaps you can name the baby after them?” It’s been a while since you’ve heard your late fiance’s name—almost to the point that you’ve forgotten it with all the chaos that surrounded your life.

Kidd didn’t know your fiance's name, or you hope he didn’t. On one hand, you somewhat liked the idea. But at the same time, it’d be a constant reminder of the love you lost. You fear you might accidentally compare the baby to a person they’ve never met. And even though the baby was innocent, the fact it’d be the offspring of the man who took everything from you, having their name felt wrong and tainted.

“They deserve to be their own person, so I don’t think I’ll give the baby (....)’s name.” You rub your stomach subconsciously.

“What if they look like him? I know it’d still be my child, but…”

“Even if the baby looks exactly like Kidd, it doesn’t mean they’ll be like him. I bet one of my tangerine trees that they’ll be the exact opposite.” A chuckle leaves your lips as the ease Nami brings seems so natural.

“I’ll take you up on that offer.” You and Nami shake hands, and the sound of the kitchen door opening lets you know the food is finally done.

“After you're done eating, I'd like to give you a checkup to see if everything's healed alright.”

“Sounds good.”

~~~

After finishing your lunch, you head up to the infirmary. When you sat on the bed, you noticed just how out of breath you were. The stairs have been getting harder and harder each day. What used to be an easy task now felt like you were being asked to climb a mountain.

“You okay (Y/N)?” Holding a clipboard, you watch Chopper walk over to you and look at you in concern.

“Stairs are just getting a little harder, but it’ll be okay. So what's your first plan of action, doctor?” It was always so cute to see Chopper get all excited when called a doctor.

“Can I check out any wounds or scars that may have happened since we last saw each other? I’ve made scar cream that is supposed to help reduce the size and stiffness that comes with said scars.”

“Oh, okay. There’s…a lot. Just give me a second.” You begin to take off your sweater before placing it beside you. Chopper's eyes widen as he tries to focus on a single scar, but there's so much more than the last time he’s seen you. He doesn’t know where to start, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by staring.

“Is there any place you want me to check first?”

“I don’t know if there are any on my back, so you can check there.” you feel Chopper jump on the bed and start to inspect your back. The bra you wore gave the reindeer enough space to inspect your back. While it didn’t cover the scar you hated the most, you simply hid your chest with your hand.

“Not seeing much. Just small ones anyone could have." Chopper goes and grabs your left arm to check it out. You feel his hooves put pressure on the scars before stopping at your hand.

“Did you get shocked? What happened that caused all these small scars?” The realization that you haven't shown anyone your devil fruit powers yet shoots through your mind, and a small excitement courses through your veins.

“Chopper, can you let go of my arm real quick?” Chopper cocked his head before letting go. A big smile plasters on your face before you take a deep breath.

There were sizzling and cracking echos in the room as electricity started to form along your arm and slither around your scared skin. It gave off a flickering glow as you began to accumulate it in your hand.

“Woah! I didn’t know you had devil fruit powers! Why didn't you tell us earlier?”

“I only got them during the two-year separation. I’ve worked my ass off to have control like this. I’m probably not as strong as the rest of you guys, but I think this’ll help.” All your words seemed to go in through one ear and out the other as Chopper watched the electricity form into a ball in your hands.

“I’ve never seen an electricity logia type devil fruit. I didn’t even know there was one.”

“Well, here I am, haha.” Chopper laughs alongside you before he stops. You wonder why, but you soon figure it out when you follow his eye direction. Since he asked to see your arm, you left the branding scar open for him to see. The look of horror is present on his face.

“Oh my god, how did I not see this?!” Moving around to get a better look, Chopper stands next to you on the bed. Carefully moving his hoove near your chest, he stops.

“Is it okay if I check this out?” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nod.

“Yeah.” You feel Chopper place his hoove on the scar and watch as his eyebrows knit together.

“Unlike the other ones, this one is raised above the skin rather then indented.”

“Is that…a bad thing?”

“No. The one on your chest is a hypertrophic scar, it’s normal to scar like this on ones chest. The others are simply atrophic scars. They're all fine, but…”

“But?”

“I just can’t believe it. With this being in such a sensitive place, I can’t imagine the pain this caused.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t a fun recovery.” Tears gather in your eyes at the memory. There are a million memories you wish you could forget, and this just happened to be in your top five. Remembering Kidd’s approach with that heated metal pole speeds up your heart rate and constricts your chest. Your breath goes jagged as the tears start flowing.

“I look like a freak. Everywhere I look is a reminder of him. How can someone ever love me when all they see is a disfigured shell of a human.” You begin to cry into your hands as the room feels suffocating. Tears slip through your fingers and onto your tummy as you try to catch your breath.

“What have I done to deserve this? Everyone in my family is dead, and I don’t even have a home to go back to! My entire island was wiped out in a single afternoon, and there's only five people who survived to prove the island even existed in the first place! Why do they have to perish while I live?! What’s so great about me?!”

“What’s not great about you?” You and Chopper freeze and look at the infirmary door. There stood Luffy with a big smile on his face.

“Luffy?” Dropping your hands to your thighs, you look at him through your blurry vision.

“I was wondering where you were! But Usopp told me you were in here with Chopper and-” Luffy’s happy voice soon cuts off as he fully registers the state Kidd had reduced you to. You watch his eyes zero in on the branding before his expression darkens.

“Did he do that to you?” He points to the scar, and even though you try to sound tough, you hiccup out a ‘yes’ as you feel your body shake.

“I know it’s their Jolly Roger, but I promise I didn’t want it! Please don’t kick me out, Luffy! I—” You stop in your tracks when you feel something be placed on your head. Rubbing your eyes, you see the brim of Luffy’s straw hat in front of your face. You are at a loss for words as your heart beats in your ears.

“You're not going anywhere (Y/N). I’ll make sure he’ll never lay a hand on you ever again.”

“Cause I’m gonna kill that bastard for doing this to you.”

~~~

Sitting in his workshop, Kidd twirls a sharp scrap of metal between his fingers while looking at the wall. All the bounty posters for the straw hats are plastered on the wall, covered in holes from the number of knives and sharp scraps he’s thrown at them. Even seeing their faces makes rage course through Kidd’s veins.

His eyes zero in on the captains before he throws the metal scrap at the poster. It hilts the man on the poster right between the eyes. His poster is the most shredded. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have been taken and escaped in the first place.

It’s been six months since you left the Victoria Punk, and every second has been a waking nightmare for everyone. While their captain had always been a hothead, he’s been ten times worse ever since you left. The amount of blood on his hands could rival the devil’s—and to many, he was.

The Victoria Punk has become one of the most feared pirate ships currently sailing. When the Victoria's big jaws came into the sight of any other pirates or marines, all they could do was pray. They prayed that by some miracle, Eustass ‘Captain’ Kidd would take pity. Unfortunately, the New World was not known for its kindness, and neither was he.

There was even talk about naming him a new emperor of the sea.

While the title would help him on his path to becoming King of the Pirates, it meant nothing if he still couldn’t find you six months after the fact—couldn’t find you or his unborn child. He didn’t know how you were doing, how the pregnancy was progressing, or what the gender was. It didn’t matter much to him because, in the end, they’d make a great future ruler of the sea.

“Kidd!” Bursting open the workshop door stood the right-hand man of the Kidd pirates. He huffed and puffed, trying to regain his breath after running from across the other side of the ship.

Moving his eyes towards the man in teh doorway, Kidd responds before throwing another scrap metal at the posters.

“What is it Killer?” Walking up closer to the table, Killer slams down multiple papers and photos.

“What am I looking at?”

“I know who’s been harboring (Y/N).” Jumping from his seat, Kidd gets closer to what Killer was showing him.

“What?! Who?!”

“After looking through enough photos and newspaper, I’ve managed to pinpoint the marine squad that’s been hiding her.”

“Well?! Spill it!”

“Marine squad G-5. It’s occupied by Vice Admiral Smoker and Captain Tashigi. How many lower rank marines are on the ship, I don’t know but it can’t be anymore then twenty.” Gritting his teeth, Kidd looks at the pictures of each crew member.

“Next marine ship we see, keep a marine alive. We’ll use them to get G-5’s location.”

“And after we find them?”

“Kill every single one of them. I want that ship to paint the sea red.”

~~~

@rebeccawinters @iggy5055 @dairygrrl @childconnoisseur @menifire1092 @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @lovemesomefanfic846 @ryuv1i @carpinchootaku @misoxramen @pinkfoxmusic

#eustass captain kid x reader #eustass kid x reader #one piece x reader

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dilutedconfusion · 3 months

Text

A Moth to a Flame

Eustass Kid x F!Reader (Part 3)

UMMM SOOOO YA’LL ARE LIKE THE NICEST PEOPLE EVER. Kisses and hugs to everyone who gives a semi-shit about what I write. I wrote this BEHEMOTH of a chapter and I personally think plot wise its my best yet. So get out your forks and knifes cause we eatin good today!

Summary: Having just found out Kid is a super big time murder machine Y/N is left in shock whilst sitting at the bar. Kid and Y/N finally have a coherent and tangible conversation. Emotions arise but Kid is still a total grump. In a fit of stupidity and some grief Y/N does something that I would not advise doing if you’re not like a professional idiot or something.

Warnings: Gore, NSFW (nothing actually happen theres just some sweet innuendos and mentions of NSFW related things)

Word Count: 6.3K

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Tags: @st4rfevrr @archangelshavethetardis @likeeliterallywtf @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @tulipps-maehem (At this point, if you comment something I’m smacking ya right in the tag lists. If you don’t want that just tell me! I’m totes fine with it.)

Kid took a sip of his rum. The cool yet bitter liquid burned his throat and swirled in the deep parts of his gut. Leaning back against the pleather booth he let out a little sigh. His arm was still throbbing like a bitch. Another sign that a strong wave of phantom pain would soon be coming on. But he tried not to think about it. Hoping his brain would stop the onslaught of pain if he got it drunk enough.

Killer was sitting across from him. Using a straw to take periodic sips of his beer. They had been sitting here for a good bit but hadn’t talked too much. A comfortable silence sat between them as it usually did. Kid’s stump randomly twitching now and then though he kept his eyes closed as he tried oh-so desperately to relax.

Watching him quietly Killer noticed the small twitching movement of his partners arm. “Is it hurting again?” He asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible despite his worry.

Trying to hold himself back from being a total asshole, Kid spoke. Opening one eye and letting out a dry sigh. “I lost a fucking arm. What do you think?”

Was that the nicest reply? No. But if anyone other than Killer would have asked that question Kid would’ve just punched them. So he was getting off easy in Kid's terms.

Killer stayed quiet for a moment, grimacing under the space of his mask. “Well, you look a little strained. Is the liquor helping or making it worse?”

Kid finally opened both his eyes, leaning forward and putting an elbow up on the table in front of him. “Helping. Now quit pestering me about this shit.” Kid grabbed his glass and took another long chug of his rum. Finishing out the last bottle he had asked the bartender to make him.

Letting out a hearty burp he felt his torso sway a bit as he sat. He wasn’t drunk but he could feel that warm goopy feeling building up in his brain. Staring blankly at the rest of the vacant and dimly lit room. Listening quietly to the sounds of people in the front room of the bar. The waiter who had taken his order was working the bar itself so he knew she was going to take a while to make an extra round.

“Want me to go get ya some more? I’ll order some food so you don’t crash as hard later.” Killer murmured out, already slightly sliding to the left to get on his feet.

That made Kid's red-painted lips scrunch up, waving his hand at Killer to stop. “Get your ass back on that seat. I got it.” Kid let out a grunt and started sliding off the booth to a stand. His body swayed just slightly but he stood up normally. His huge fur coat lay discarded on the booth seat.

Kid turned towards it and picked it up. His body felt stiff like an old piece of wood. Nearly groaning at even the slightest movement and it annoyed the shit out of him. Feeling light-headed he swung his coat over his shoulders. It was a bit difficult considering the lack of an arm but Kid has since gotten used to it. Making sure that his stump was at least halfway hidden by the fur of his coat. The bandages and torn scars running along his chest were mostly hidden, though he couldn’t hide the fresh scars on his face.

“Ya know…you don’t need to hide it. They are proof that you made it through something shitty after all.” Killer whispered to Kid, knowing it was a sensitive spot on his poor Captain's mind.

Kid’s face stayed sharp and demeaning but Killer's words had gotten to him even if just a little. Letting out a huff of air he responded, “Ya don’t think I know that? I just want everything to heal a bit more. Then I’ll show it off.” With that Kid started walking away from the table, leaving Killer in his lonesome.

He bounded past the other booths. His boots hitting the wooden floor below loudly as he made his way to the other part of the building. The sounds of casual conversation floating towards him along with the satisfying sound of taps being drawn while the bartender siphoned out beer.

Walking up the two small steps that separated the rooms he could feel the air around him get just a tiny bit warmer. The low crackling fire tracing the room with a rich wooden scent and faint smoke. Walking up to the bar he paid no mind to those around him. Leaning up against the wood as another much stronger wave of pain shot up through his stump.

Shit. He thought, gritting his teeth. He would give anything to start rubbing his arm. Soothing the muscles trying to avert whatever pain would come next. But as that same waiter came up to him he had no choice but to deal with it.

She had that same polite smile on her face. Standing on the other side of the bar, her hands filling up beer glasses as she talked. “Run out? Sorry, I didn’t make a round back there. We’re pretty short-staffed right now. What can I get ya?”

“More of the same. And…some fried chicken.” Kid mumbled out, settling down onto the barstool nearest to him. The woman looked him over for a moment. Glancing at his stump and bandages for only a second. Her face turned a bit contorted in what Kid could only assume was disgust before brightening up once again.

Never seen a guy with some wounds eh? Kid thought, almost wanting to say that out loud. If he wasn’t so tired and beat up he would’ve.

Well in truth if he wasn’t in pain he'd be drinking his ass off and winning bar fights. But he was in pain, his throbbing stump a reminder of that.

“Sounds good. I can walk it back there when it’s ready.” She said in that same sweet customer service tone.

Kid just rolled his eyes at her. “I sat down. I’ll stay here and wait. Can’t go back expecting you to remember to bring the damn food.”

The bartender cringed a bit at that but remained neutral regardless. “Sounds good. Let me go get that started for you.” She said awkwardly. Walking away from Kid in a bit of a rush and heading towards what he supposed was the kitchen door.

Kid eyes watched her as she disappeared, letting out a soft tongue click in annoyance. Eventually, his eyes just started drifting. His right hand once again itching to rub his poor stump but he held back. He looked down the line of the barstools absentmindedly to take note of the few people littering the room.

However, something made his eyes pause. They hovered over a girl. She was sitting at the other end of the bar, holding up a newspaper and looking it over as if it were the most important thing in the world.

Wait a fucking minute. I’ve seen her before.

It’s not like he didn’t expect it to some extent but a part of him had already forgotten what a weird little stalker you were. He glanced over your body, seeing the same clothes, jacket, and satchel he’d seen earlier.

Damn, it is the same chick.

He just kept staring at you wondering exactly when you were going to notice him. Your eyes were so glued to the newspaper your damn nose was nearly shoved in it. Even though Kid didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, he couldn’t help but rub your face in your obvious fuck-up.

“So you really-”

“WAH!” Your body jerked randomly hearing that deep voice once again. The newspaper crinkled as your fingers dug into it. Your whole body turned towards Kid at the other end of the bar but leaned away as if he was diseased. “Goddamn it! Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“What the fuck?” Kid mumbled out, brow furrowed in confusion as he stared at your beet-red face. Soft eyelashes blinking over and over at him again as if you couldn’t tell if he was real or not.

“What do you mean what the fuck? You snuck up on me!” You yelled, voice faltering a tiny bit as you realized just how LOUD you were being. Covering your mouth with one hand to almost suppress the sheer adrenaline running through your veins.

You hadn’t expected to be talking to him, especially since he was the one to initiate it. The mortifying news about him on the paper mixed with his sudden appearance and this lunging feeling in your gut was a lot to handle.

Kid narrowed his eyes at you, face more bemused than annoyed by what an idiot you were being. “I didn’t fucking sneak up on you. I’ve been sitting here for like 5 minutes just starin’ at your ugly ass and you didn’t even notice me.” He turned the barstool a bit more towards you, leaning his good arm against the bar gingerly.

Taking your hand off your mouth you leaned forward towards him. The multiple chairs between the two of you made the distance of the conversation a bit awkward but that wasn’t going to stop you from being an asshole. “Well if my ass is so ugly, why were you staring?”

Kid's lip twitched at that, his cheeks almost daring to blush red but he held it back. He didn’t like that you had taken his insult in that way. But before he could let it affect him he let the first thing he thought of slip past his tongue.“Cause it's so damn horrific I couldn’t look away. Plus you might as well have been licking that newspaper by the way you were holding it. Following my order like a good little puppy eh?”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly, still holding onto the newspaper rather tightly in one hand. Looking down at it for a moment like you should be ashamed before frowning at him. Kid watched and bathed in your reaction, a condescending smile on his lips. It made you reel with anger. Wanting to slap that shit-eating grin off him until he was black and blue.

“I ain’t looking at this 'cause you told me to! I wanted to do this because you wouldn’t tell me who you are. Just so happens that I know who you are now and if my calculations are correct, you’re a total asshole and a lunatic. Though I probably didn’t need the newspaper to figure that first one out.” You told him, voice quiet enough so the whole bar didn’t hear but your tone was condescendingly lethal.

Again Kid just stared at you for a moment. If anyone else would’ve given him even one-quarter of a verbal punch that you just gave him they would’ve been dead on the ground. But he was tired and though he would never admit it, your comeback was good. Letting out a strong puff of air through his sharp nose to calm his urges he decided to take the argument in a different route. One that would give him the advantage over someone who had just a tiny bit of bite to them.

“I get it, sweetcheeks. You’re desperate to know me. To get my attention. Thought you could read up on me so you could handle the real thing easier but clearly you can’t.” Kid said, raising his hand in the air so ‘matter of factly’ though his tone was anything but serious. The glint of his teeth as he smiled and the way his low voice rumbled just made you angrier by the second.

A small tint of red rising on your cheeks out of pure embarrassment. Making mouth go agape for just a moment before you concocted a comeback.

“Q-Quit acting like you're the shit, you glorified puffball. I figured out who you are and if you’re anything like how this newspaper is portraying you in real life, then I should go get a pitchfork and a torch to exile your ass.” You flipped open the newspaper and pointed it towards him. Showing him the two pictures of him committing crimes aplenty.

Hearing you call him a puffball made Kids lack of eyebrows raise in confusion, wondering why in the hell you thought he looked like a puffball. You could see the gears in his head turning as he looked down at his chest to notice the large fur coat he was wearing. Yet still, after another second of mental debriefing, he put two and two together.

“Hey don’t fucking call me a puffball!” Kid said in a slight snarl, a tiny bit of red gracing his cheeks at your comparison. Leaning forward he eye’d the pictures you were holding up. “And I look great there so I don’t know what you’re getting at. They got all my best angles. Even a good picture of me back in my start-up.”

This time it was your turn to be confused, pointing sharply at the pictures of him and even raising out your arm so he could see it better. “So we're just going to ignore all the murder. Ya know, like right here and here and here.” You pointed at the dead crucified bodies hanging limply on their crosses. Blood and splattered guts dripped out of the slightly blue and cold-looking bodies.

Kid rolled his eyes, looking at you as if you’d just said the earth was flat. He rubbed his chin almost to feign boredom as he spoke. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

And with that, you smacked yourself in the face with your palm. Rubbing a hand over your temple and scrunching your face in a mesh of lines that represented pure annoyed disbelief. Taking a deep breath you responded, “Look, I ain’t your mommy and I ain’t going to tell you what you can and cannot do. But, this is my island. You do this shit here and don’t think you’ll be leaving with all your vital organs intact.”

“Well by the sounds of it maybe I should do just that. Give me some entertainment with a good little fight.” Kid immediately quipped back, his face returning to that patronizing smile you oh-so hated.

At this point, it felt like maybe you were talking to a wall. One that was so caught up in having an argument with you he didn’t want to take you seriously. “You are just a complete fucking menace aren’t you?” That was all you could say, almost dumbfounded by his stupidity.

“I am and the people dig it. Can’t say a little danger doesn’t get ‘em all hot and bothered.” He remarked, his shit-eating grin growing even wider as he tilted his head and leaned towards you a bit more. Your face just went completely flat. Void of all emotion except annoyance and the painstaking wish he had said anything but that.

“I love it when people lie through their teeth to my face.” You said so flat and lifeless a robot might as well have said it.

Kid's eyebrows scrunched up a tiny bit, not at all pleased he didn’t get the reaction out of you he wanted. He wasn’t flirting with you, or at least that's what he thought when he said it. In all honesty, Kid has the same flirting skills as goldfish. Just making bubbles and floating by expecting someone to get drawn in by how shiny his scales were. So when he said that he actually just wanted to see you embarrassed like you had made him feel. Little to say it was the first time he felt genuinely peeved by you.

“I ain’t lyin'. I’m a big-time pirate that’s big in more places than one. What more could someone want?” He clamored out, trying to lean into his more cocky attitude. Again his innuendo is less about stroking his ego and more about getting a reaction out of you. He didn’t need confirmation that his dick was big. But he wanted you to blush because he told you.

Your eyes twitched a bit when he said that. Not knowing exactly how to interpret why he was bragging to you and most definitely not taking it as flirting at all.

As if a cocky asshole like him would ever flirt with me, he just wants me to feel small and worthless doesn’t he?

Giving him a blank dead stare you spoke, “What more could a person want? Well…I don’t know, maybe literally anyone but you.”

Kid would never in a million fucking years admit it but that shit stung. He usually never lets people's opinions cloud his view of himself. They were nobody to him so why care?

Then why the fuck am I taking what she said seriously? He mulled over this thought for a moment feeling almost ashamed that he let anything you say get through his impenetrable skin.

But he beat himself out of that thought, scowling harder than ever before and clenching his one good hand until his knuckles turned white.

You noticed this despite the multiple barstools that took up the space between the two of you. Face once dead of emotion now alight in a wave of slight nervousness and even a bit of regret.

Why the fuck did I say that? To a murderer of all people? Do I want to get killed that badly?

Kid felt his stump throb in pain once again like a hammer cast in flames slamming into every single nerve. He grits his teeth hoping you didn’t notice before responding. “Like your opinion of me matters. Quit acting like you know me. You’re nothing compared to what I am.”

You watched him carefully, eyeing the way his muscles uncomfortably tensed underneath his fur coat. The slight sheen of sweat on his brow became a bit more noticeable in the low light. It made a strange feeling of guilt swirl deep in your core seeing him like that. He was a total douchebag but it felt wrong kicking him when he was down.

“I don’t know you but I’ve met people like you. More than I’d like to admit.” Your tone was soft as you spoke, not looking him in the eye as you held on to the newspaper in an almost delicate way. “I’m just saying I don’t trust you. And…if I’m right then I have every reason to be cautious. Reading this newspaper gives you a ‘I’ll kill everyone’ air.”

Kid watched you as you spoke. His amber eyes were sharp and clear as he noticed the change in tone. It didn’t bother him but in his opinion, it sounded like the most truthful thing you’ve said so far. “I don’t just kill everybody. I have some restraint ya know.”

“Well according to this newspaper, you kill pretty much anyone all the time. To the point that it's what you are known for. I mean, look at this headline, it says slaughtering right there.” You pointed to the headline once more, laying the newspaper flat on the bar before picking up your glass. The sight of rotting flesh in the pictures forcing your heart to lurch each time you even glance at it.

“Well, all of the people I kill fucking deserve it. Do you think I hand out mercy out of sympathy for worthless people? The motherfuckers get in my way so they deserve to be in the ground.”

Kid’s voice was harsh with conviction as he spoke. As if he's said this same thing nearly a thousand times. You took another quick sip of your daiquiri. Licking the sugar off your lips with a quick swipe before glancing back over at him.

“So…are you going to do that here? On this island? String me up by my belly and let my intestines slip out?” You asked him quietly, eyes boring into him with an intensity he hadn’t seen from you before. It felt raw and almost threatening. Like you were daring him to try because you knew he would lose.

He wanted to be annoyed and he wanted to punch you right in the jaw. Snap you out of whatever diluted sense of power you seemed to be feeling. But his stump was still soaring with pain. He was managing it sure but he knew if he started moving around too much he’d topple over. So instead he resorted to using his words, which was his least favorite thing to do. “Well…I’m thinking about it but…I’m not in the mood. It's too worthless to kill someone so weak. I have bigger fish to fry.”

Your eyes narrowed, reading into him for even a sliver of deception. You didn’t know what kind of man he was. Supposing he was a liar and cheat like most of the men who traveled the sea were. So you prodded him deeper, trying to find the root of his honesty. “Could your lack of motivation to kill me…have anything to do with those injuries of yours?”

You glanced at his stump and bandages running across his chest. The scabbed-over and healing scars on his face were still red and puffy from their recent affliction. Kid's eyes widened and he leaned back away from you ever so slightly. Hating the fact that you dare mention his injuries. Hating the fact that you thought they were making him weak. That they were holding him back.

That rage he had been holding in ever since it happened started to bubble up. The same rage that he felt for his crew members when they pitied him. The same rage he felt for himself. He had to look away, trying to regain himself. Control his overwhelming urges to not only split your face open but break every piece of furniture within ten feet of him.

He finally looked back at you, ready to scream his head off, “Don’t you dare-”, but he paused.

It was surprising to see your face like that.

It stopped him dead in his tracks, his once boiling rage now a soft simmer within only a second.

Kid didn’t know how to describe it. It was like you weren’t looking at him for who he was. For the scars he held. Those eyes of yours were looking at him for what he is. Deep somber orbs filled with nothing but…empathy?

No…that’s not the right word. It doesn’t feel…like it’s meant to be helpful or caring. Not an ounce of pity.

Familiarity. She knows how I feel.

Kid wasn’t good at reading people's emotions. He could barely understand his own emotions most of the time. So it was strange how he met you in the middle with just a glance.

Even though it didn’t last more than a few seconds.

“I have another pitcher of beer, a tall glass of rum, and that chicken you ordered.” Came the voice of the waiter. Walking through the swinging door with a large tray in hand carrying all the contents she mentioned.

Your face contorted to embarrassment as you watched the waiter stride up towards Kid. He had to force himself to look away from you, wanting to continue the conversation with you despite himself.

What the fuck has gotten into me?

Kid nearly rolled his eyes at himself. Feeling a pang of heat cross his cheeks he let out a grumbling cough to mask it. The waiter placed the tray carefully in front of Kid at the bar.

“Sorry for the wait but does everything look good?” She asked, sliding her body behind the bar and eyeing both Kid and you. Her eyes were bouncing between the two of you a bit, clearly wondering the origins of the tension floating in the air.

Oh god. She even knows I was researching him. You thought to yourself. Feeling like you’d been caught in the act of doing something reckless and stupid.

Kid stared down at the tray, his jaw tight as he let out a deep breath of air he’d been holding in. “It’s fine.” He grumbled, again that ache in his stump making his eye twitch.

Sliding his weight down onto the floor he stood up. His back cracked a bit as he rolled his shoulders trying to subside the ache. You watched him silently. Gliding your eyes gently across his wide shoulders. How the strong muscles there tensed and rolled as he moved. His smooth pale mounds of warm skin with bandages on every other inch lingering in your mind. His height was just as demeaning as you remember it though you still were a good ten feet away.

Always close enough to talk but not close enough to be considered next to him.

His hand tugged his coat around his shoulders a bit more, before he haphazardly tried to pick up the tray. His thick and lacquer-covered fingertips tried to dig under the tray without spilling anything. His one-handed skills at doing pretty much anything got in the way of even the simplest tasks of his life.

“You sure…you don’t need a little help?” The waiter softly asked. Watching Kid as she cleaned off the countertops with a rag.

“Say that again and don’t expect to be going home tonight with a tongue.” Kid spat back, his voice dripping with venom.

The waiter again nearly clammed up but backed off almost immediately. She was used to dealing with pirates but…this man was on a whole other level. Staying quiet and walking over towards your side of the bar instead.

She glanced at you but you didn’t pay much attention. Instead, you were trying to slyly watch as Kid finally wound his large hand underneath the tray. Holding it up easily on his palm at shoulder level before starting to walk away. Disappearing through a doorway without even a second glance towards you.

You let out a small displeased huff of air. At least expecting a glance or chance to continue that conversation. You felt like you were getting somewhere with that. Getting to know him a bit better. It was interesting beyond belief and if someone asked you if you’d rather stay at home in safety or talk to a scary pirate. Well…you would choose a scary pirate every time.

It felt nostalgic and it made your boring life more lively. That is until the waiter got in the way.

“You okay hun? He didn’t threaten you right?” She asked softly, giving you a sympathetic smile as she continued to wipe the bar.

You gave her a little quirk of a smile purely just for show. Not willing to give her a hard time for breaking up your conversation with that man. “Yeah, I’m fine. He did nothing wrong.”

“Well that I don’t believe. Seems to me like he's nothing but a walking pile of wrong.”

You stayed silent at first. Fiddling with your glass a tiny bit before finally picking it up to your lips and finishing the last of it off. Gulping it down and feeling the smooth taste of it run down to swirl in your gut.

“Well sometimes…a whole lotta wrong is just right.”

__________

No matter how much you wanted to, you couldn’t force yourself to stand up and walk into the back room of the bar. To go face that redhead again and his masked friend.

His name is not redhead, it's Kid. Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid. That thought dawned upon you as you thought over your conversation with him. You knew his name but hadn’t spoken it out loud even once. Even now his name stays within the confines of your mind. You had learned it while reading the newspaper along with the aforementioned Massacre Soldier, that blondie that’s with him.

Mulling over the idea of going and talking to them you tried to hype yourself up multiple times to gain the courage.

Come up with a catchy one-liner that would make you just a bit more likable. Maybe say nothing and sit down next to one of them like you own the place.

Assert dominance. Yeah….no.

You had no reason that wasn’t deathly embarrassing when explaining WHY you wanted to sit with them.

I’m just…bored, which would lead them to joke about my small, stupid, and uninteresting life. Maybe even lead Kid into bragging about how ‘important’ and ‘amazing’ he is compared to me.

Even thinking about that made your face sour. Rolling your eyes at nothing like you had just heard the worst joke imaginable.

I could…tell them that I have this strong gut feeling and it's dragging me towards them like a fish on a hook, which would lead to them being confused, taking it as flirting or calling me…ugh desperate.

That word crawled on your skin and sunk into your flesh. Like a tick taking root so one way or another you’d end up with Lyme disease or even worse, a bruised self-image.

You weren’t about to let that happen but this longing in your gut was almost incurable.

You even tried to calm down and look at your situation in a simpler light.

It’s just two men. Two pirates. You’ve dealt with pirates. You know how they work. You told yourself, hands feeling clammy as they gripped the edge of the bar. I already talked to one of them and it went…okay. Or maybe I’m just lying to myself and it went horribly.

You slouched in your chair and frowned. Nearly slamming your head down on the bar but you held back. Remembering you were indeed, still in public and if you wanted to wallow in your self-loathing you needed to go home for that.

I don’t need more people thinking I’m crazy.

You eventually stood up, walking to the point where you were just at the precipice of the doorway before panic struck you and you turned around just to walk straight out of the bar.

Red as a tomato and filled with shame you retreated into the night.

Did I even tell him my name?

You chewed your lips, the pleasant sounds of raindrops hitting the hood of your jacket and filling up your ears. It was a dark walk home. One that felt unmotivated to return home. You’d rather be out here, at night. The barren surroundings, whirring trees in the wind, and the rain pleasant yet cold. So you started meandering, walking as slow as you could despite the late hours.

Now and then the moon would peek through the clouds as if to say hello. A far-off lantern leaving a cool milky glow on your surroundings before being swallowed up by darkness once again.

Thank god my jacket is waterproof. You thought, watching the raindrops slip off the edge of your hood and in front of your face. It wasn’t a downpour just yet but it was not the best walking weather in most people's minds.

Yet even so you started making a detour.

What the fuck am I even doing?

At some point, while walking along the slightly muddy but managing trail to your home you made a hard 90-degree turn. Walking away from the direction of the little cabin your father had built when you were born, deep on the west side of the island.

It took about a half hour to walk through those woods to your house. Strong iron lanterns hung up on a few trees so you didn't get lost in the night. The animals are far too afraid to even step foot near your trail ever since your father claimed this portion of land.

So you were safe thankfully but what you weren’t safe from was yourself.

The trail you turned off onto led straight to the ocean. It was a bit muddier and more overgrown with thick roots and ferns but you have walked on this trial nearly half of your life. You knew it better than anyone because you were the one who made it.

Now and then you could hear the low rumble of lightning in the distance. Not too close but not entirely far off. The evergreens, birch and a few sparing oaks protecting you from the onslaught of the wind. As the wind cascaded through their branches it sounded like the raw howl of banshee. It creeped you out a bit but it was something you’ve heard before. This forest home even in the looming hours of the night.

Eventually, you breached the forest and reached the shoreline. The rain had died down a little, just a light pitter-patter against your jacket. The sand was wet but solid as you stepped down onto it. Your feet sunk in just a bit held against your weight regardless.

Looking out you noticed the ocean was in havoc. Waves nearly half your height would roll in and crash down like a bomb along the shore. The ocean tugged the water back in a greedy fashion as if it wanted to consume the land. Tall white-tipped waves stretching far out into the bay. The scent of salt, seaweed, and something oh-so comforting gliding in the space between you and the water.

Gosh if it's this bad here, I wonder what it’s like out on the open sea right now.

You looked down the shoreline, spotting the docks more towards the middle of the bay off to your left. There lay a few fishing ships, all bobbing up and down like pelicans in the water. But of course those weren’t the boats your eyes stayed glued to.

The contrast between those boats and the absolute behemoth that was the Kid Pirates ship was amazing. It was a good distance away, much bigger looking than it had originally been when you first spotted it. Squinting your eyes you could still make out a few shadows of people walking along its deck.

Your memory started floating into the forefront of your mind. Days on a deck like that. Nights spent harboring the seas as you tossed and turned in your bed. It felt like ages ago. That part of your life was now foreign to you the second the incident happened.

I wonder what he would’ve wanted for me.

Grief sunk deep into the root of your being. Covering the very base of who you are in a thick, oily, and dark substance. One that no matter how many times you tried to wash it off, it just wouldn’t go away.

“Goddamn it,” You muttered, trying to will yourself out of the feelings you held. You looked over at the sea once again, eyes trailing off towards your right. A long line of huge boulders stretched out into the waters. Built to elongate the bay and protect the land from bigger waves.

Without a thought, you walked towards it. The jetty calling your name as it has done a million times.

Climbing up onto the slick boulders you made sure to stay towards the shoreline side. The other side of the boulders, facing towards the open ocean, getting berated with large waves. You could barely hear yourself think with how loud it was. The light spritz of water landed on you periodically as you slowly and carefully traversed the boulders. Algae, kelp, starfish, and mussels littered around you. Wanting to trip you up whenever they could.

This is stupid, I can’t see shit. You thought, using your hands to steady yourself on any taller outcroppings of rock as your feet trembled underneath you. It wasn’t out of fear though, it was excitement. Excitement to do something dangerous. Excitement to try something so stupid.

Why am I like this? It’s cold and wet and I could fall into the ocean, get thrashed, and drown.

But you knew why you were like this. You knew exactly why and yet you still didn’t understand yourself. Feet moving without a thought. Your brain so focused on feeling something more than yourself that you don't care to stop.

At first, you didn’t even notice them. The pair of eyes watching you from a distance. Red-painted lips frowned in confusion as they eyed the familiar image of a girl seemingly trying to get herself killed.

In the cacophony of the waves and how they thrashed you heard another noise. A low deep whine of something in the distance. Your head perked up, blinking as if you had heard a ghost. As if the wind and waves were trying to talk to you. Thinking it was nothing you continued along until a second later you heard it again.

You looked out onto the sea towards your left, swallowing hard as you stared at the rocking waves just a few feet below you. You pressed your back up against a flat boulder at your side. Gripping onto it to keep your balance you finally glanced back at the shore.

What the-

An image of a man, a puffball-shaped man to be exact, standing at the edge of the shore right next to the jetty. You couldn’t make out his features but there was no denying who it was. His one intact arm waving and pointing toward something in your vicinity.

What the fuck?

The second you finished this thought something hit you.

Something dangerously cold and heavy enveloping you. Starting from the top of your head down to your toes. It burned your eyes as the cold sunk deep into your marrow.

Scraping your hands against the rock as you tried to stay upright, though the second it broke skin you were forced to let go. Your knees caving in under the insurmountable weight thrashed upon you.

One second you were standing and in the next you were getting sucked into the dark and desolate ocean below.

A/N: SHIT IS GETTING REAL YA’LL. BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING. I wrote this with my eyes comically wide the whole time. Sorry to leave ya’ll on like a cliffhanger but it makes for good story telling so have fun suffering. Quirky reminder but Kid can’t swim. So like….yeah shes fucked. I mean she did it to herself but still. RIP Y/N 🙏 or a least RIP until the next chapter.

#eustass kid #eustass kid x reader #eustasscaptainkid #kid pirates #killer one piece #massacre soldier killer #one piece #one piece eustass #one piece x reader #x reader

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agirlwithglam · 3 months

Text

how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl tips💗💋#vanilla self improvement⭐️#self love #it girl #girlblog #confidence #self improvement #self validation #self worth #self love guide #that girl #girlblogging #that girl tips #it girl tips #it girl energy #confidence guide #confidence tips

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m0llygunn · 11 months

Text

Strat and Jag (Eddie Munson x fem!reader)

01 / 02 / 03 Summary: Feelings realized, theres only one thing left to do, and that one thing is Eddie...

Warnings: 18+!, smut, mature language, oral (male and female receiving), p in v sex (unprotected), creampie, petnames, light angst, virginity loss, fumbly first time sex. Authors note: this is part 3! i have a few slice of life chapters after this but this is basically the end of the plot here. seeya! wc: 9k+

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Revival of the boy

By the time you’re ready, you’re sure Hellfire wouldn’t be done yet, but you’re too antsy to just sit around. You figured if you walk to the trailer park, you should be there by the time Eddie comes home.

Packaging up some of your desserts made out of pure nerves and stress, you set out a foot towards Forest Hills Trailer Park, and you don’t dare let yourself think about any of the outcomes. You would think yourself sick if you did.

When you got there, it was still a little early for him to be back. You have a key, but it doesn’t feel right to let yourself in, given the circumstances. Wayne usually works overnight on Fridays and he’s not here either, so you sit on the stairs with your container of chocolate chip cookies in your lap while the sun disappears behind the horizon.

It’s only another 15 minutes before you hear the rumbling of his van. And you swear it’s louder than it’s ever been until you realize that it’s your heart pounding in your chest, your ears roaring in nervousness.

Fuck.

You can’t even look up to see if Eddie spots you as he parks beside the trailer. Obviously he does, you’re on the stairs, but you are so… you can’t breathe. You can’t fucking breathe. Holy shit. Harrington was fucking right. Whatever the hell he said absolutely annihilated the dam that was holding back these feelings because with Eddie approaching you, your stomach is swirling, your heart is beating so fast you swear it could explode, and your lungs feel battered, breath stolen by the man who now stands before you.

“Hi.” You whisper when you finally work up the courage to look at him. Your heart sinks when you see how sad he looks.

“Hey, Strat.” He says, flashing you a sad smile.

“I- I brought you more um…” You trail off, suddenly forgetting what you even baked. You opt for pushing the container into his hands, standing up from the stairs. “These things.” You say, giving up on finding the right words.

“Cookies?” Eddie asks with a small forced smile as he pops the lid open to look.

“Mhm.” You hum, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Do… you want to come in?” Eddie asks tentatively.

“Yeah.” You agree quietly.

You turn, walking up the steps with Eddie behind you. Stepping to the side, he unlocks the door, motioning for you to go in first. As you walk in, his fingertips brush your side.

Butterflies. Butterflies. Butterflies.

You walk into the trailer. A place you’ve spent just as much time in as your own home, but suddenly, it’s so different. Suddenly, it’s nerve racking, and it makes you feel hot all over, and tingly, and absolutely ridden with butterflies.

You stand in his living room, feeling lost, not knowing what to do with yourself. Usually you’d high tail it to Eddie’s room, throwing yourself on his bed, but you don’t this time.

Eddie shuts the door before turning to you, looking nervous.

“Might as well sit. No point in me crying standing up.” He mumbles, voice barely audible.

“You crying?” You say confusedly.

“Yeah. You’re about to let me down, right? We’re just friends?” He huffs, as he sits in a corner of the couch. He’s presenting a sense of indifference but you know that’s just what he does when something is really getting to him and it makes your stomach sink.

You stand frozen in the middle of the living room. That’s what he thinks you’re here for?

“Listen, Strat. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been saying that shit, especially not with the guys. I get it. Just, can you rip it off like a bandaid, please.” He says, sitting up on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees as he drops his head in his hands. You don’t miss the way his voice shakes or the way his eyes glisten and it breaks your heart.

You slowly make your way to the couch, afraid that if Eddie looks up at you, you’ll lose any semblance of confidence.

The truth is, you’re so fucking scared. You’re sure about your feelings, but… this is so new for you. You're terrified.

You push the discarded container of cookies onto the other end of the couch and you sit in the middle, next to Eddie. Eddie shuffles but doesn’t lift his head.

“Fuck. I don’t know how I’m gonna do this, Strat. One week without you and I… I- I can’t go the rest of my life without you.” He’s crying. His voice is wavering and wet, and he’s crying real, deep sobs for you. “T-tell me I didn’t fuck this up, we can still be friend right?” He cries, body shaking next to you.

“Eddie.” You say softly, letting your hand find his back. It’s not the first time you’ve seen him cry, but this time breaks your heart the worst because you did it. These are tears for you. You made them.

“I’m so fucking s-sorry.” He says, breath hitching as he tries to soften his crying.

“Eddie. No. I-I’m… I-I—“ You start stuttering not knowing how to say what you want to say.

Eddie’s body quivers next to you. Under your hand you feel his back raising and falling in harsh, rapid breaths, but you can’t find the words. You don’t know how to say it. You don’t know how to revive Eddie from this. You feel like you’re drowning with him. Stuck in the middle of the ocean, the two of you, no help in sight.

Eddie’s shaking pauses, and his voice comes out small.

“We can’t be friends can we?”

And that’s what does it. It feels like the whole world stops spinning.

No. He’s right. You can’t be friends, not any more. Not the way you have been friends. Friendship isn’t a possibility anymore. It breaks you entirely and suddenly you have nothing to lose.

With all your force, you grab Eddie by his shoulders pulling him to face you.

As you see his tear stained cheeks you feel your own eyes start to burn. You see his red rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks and you feel your heart in your throat.

You have nothing to lose, you remind yourself. And with that thought, you grab him by the cheeks pulling him into you, crashing your lips into his.

You're overzealous, harshly knocking teeth before pulling back enough to feel only the softness of his lips against yours.

He’s unmoving, completely frozen while you move your lips against his. Just when you go to pull away, his hands meet your own cheeks, pulling you back.

He kisses you. Kisses you until all of the air leaves your lungs and you go dizzy, spinning in a world where you only know Eddie. A world where all that matters is that you love Eddie.

It’s like a breath of fresh air. A life jacket in the middle of the ocean finally keeping you a float. You’re not drowning anymore.

His lips are soft as they gently massage yours, working perfectly against you.

Back when you were 10 and Eddie was 11, and he tried to practice french kissing on you, his tongue was harsh and pokey. This time, he’s gentle and the hands on your cheeks coax your mouth open, not that you would need much convincing.

The comparison of 11 year old and 18 year old Eddie french kissing you makes you laugh, sputtering into the kiss, pulling away because you, without a doubt, just spit into his mouth.

“What’s… what’s funny?” He says, timidly and unsure. You take a deep breath trying to compose your laughter.

“Just, last time you kissed me like that… do you remember?” You say looking up at him. He still looks unsure but you see a sparkle in his eyes as his lips turn up at the memory.

“It was practice, okay?” He groans, the same attitude he had all those years ago rising to the surface.

“Are you sure you just didn’t want to kiss me?” You say, grinning, still feeling the swirling dizziness in your head.

“I did. Always do.” He answers, his gaze falling to his lap, avoiding your eyes. You bring your hands back up to his cheeks, making him look at you.

You pull him in for another kiss. A gentle kiss, tender and sweet, before you interrupt it with the harsh poke of your own tongue just like he did at 11. This time it’s his turn to pull away with a laugh.

“How’s that for practice?” You laugh, heart exploding as you watch the corners of his eyes crease and his dimples set with his laughter.

“I think you need more practice.” He states teasingly, eyes fluttering over you. He brings his fingers to your face, tucking hair behind your ears and your stomach twists like you’re on a roller coaster. You swallow harshly before clearing your throat.

“Should we play spin the bottle then?” You say, hoping to make his smile stay as long as possible.

“Fuck no. Remember, took me what? 25 spins for it to land on you.”

“27.” You correct, smiling at the memory. Eddie’s eyes stare deeply into yours, and you feel yourself purposefully falling into the deep golden brown that invites you in. You dive in head first without a thought, wanting to be with him in every way possible.

Your hands had fallen to your knees somewhere between your laughter, but you need to touch him. Inching forward on the couch, you scoot until he’s in reach and you let your hands find his shirt, grabbing it, willing him to come closer.

His eyes search yours and he complies. Knees knock harshly into each other as you both attempt to get closer, still sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, quietly.

You nod your head, pulling him by the fabric of his shirt fisted in your hands.

“Please, Eddie.” You whisper, as his lips ghost over yours and that’s enough to get him to close the distance.

Tender, gentle, sweet, Eddie. It’s not a harsh tongue jabbing into your mouth. It’s sweetness, and everything you didn’t know you were missing. It’s Eddie in a way you didn’t know you needed him.

Eddie’s hands respectfully stay on your cheeks, only dipping lower to hold you by the jaw as his mouth works against yours.

“Eddie.” You say against his lips, not bothering to pull away entirely.

You need more of him. More you didn’t know you needed, but now that you know, you can’t go another day without. But first, you have something important to say.

Eddie hums against your lips, lost in the kiss.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper before bringing your lips back to his but he pulls away entirely.

“Sorry?” He says, eyes looking panicked.

“No-no. I’m sorry for this week. I was just confused. I- I’m not letting you down- actually it’s the opposite.” You say starting to ramble as you try to ease his worry. His eyes relax before shifting into a look of disbelief.

“The opposite?” He says trying to hold back his smile.

“Yeah. I just… want to say sorry first.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I do. I’m sorry. I was angry at first because… it’s stupid but I thought you were ruining our friendship on purpose but then I realized… I was angry because you could say the things I wouldn't let myself even think about. I lied to myself for a long time, made excuses, stupid, stupid excuses for my feelings. And then hearing you just admit it like that… made it really hard to keep making excuses, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie says, thumb rubbing your cheek.

“No! You don’t get to be sorry.” You say smiling.

“I kind of do. I should have just said it to you. That was an awful way for you to find out. Just… ‘I love you’ then dice thrown at your feet? So fucking stupid. Then I froze when I should have gone after you.” He says, squeezing his eyes shut as he relives the memory.

“I needed time anyways… and don’t kill me but… I talked to Steve about everything.” You say quietly. His eyes flash open and his jaw drops comically but the way his eyes twinkle, you know he’s not mad. Him and Steve are friends but they do have their disagreements here and there. If you asked them if they were friends though, they’d both say no and probably scoff at the idea.

“Not Harrington.” He says with mirth.

“I know! Just, everyone was kind of giving me the cold shoulder or like badgering me, and Steve… was actually really, really helpful.” You say, raising your own eyebrows to convey just how shocking that is, even to you.

“Don’t tell me I have to thank Steve for you showing up here?” Eddie groans, smile still playing on his lips.

“I’m sorry! But if I didn’t talk to him, it probably would have taken me a few years to figure it out on my own.”

“I thought a week was bad, can’t imagine years of waiting for you.” Eddie laughs and your heart aches.

You pull him in for a quick peck before pulling away.

“Eddie, I love you.” You say finding his eyes. He looks at you once again in disbelief, eyes burrowing deep inside you to look for truth. “Like I really love you. As more… than a friend.” Eddie’s bottom lips jets out in a pout as he coos your name. His thumbs rub against your skin and you feel like you’re on the cusp of melting.

“I love you. More than a friend. I love you so much.” He whispers. Your stomach flips, fluttering ceaselessly, his words echo inside of you.

You love Eddie and he loves you.

You melt into him, finding his lips once more. Your bodies contort into one, him leaning back into the couch and you leaning forward into him, standing, and then bringing your knees to the couch, straddling him.

His hands fall from your cheeks, pulling you to sit right in his lap and you relish in the butterflies as they become your new best friends.

Your hands snake around Eddie’s neck, laying your chest flat against his, fingers weaving into the curls at the back of his neck.

His tongue works against yours, kiss turning heated, becoming a wet mess of tongue and teeth shared between the two of you.

“Eddie. Want you.” You mutter breathily as you pull away just enough to gasp for air, your lips reconnected immediately. Eddie groans into the kiss, hands gripping harshly on your hips, pulling you down into him. As he does this, you feel his length kick up, hardness starting to push against you.

You testingly grind down into him and Eddie's mouth stops moving against yours, instead, his throat feeding a high pitched whine directly into your mouth, immediately leaving you hungry for more.

You grind down again and Eddie’s mouth leaves yours in another whine, before he tucks his face into the crook of your neck, placing quick, chaste kisses.

His hands start to guide you by the hips, pulling your lower belly closer to his and you push down again, feeling the denim of his jeans shifting against your clit, making you moan in response too.

You continue the movement, feeling Eddie groan into the sensitive skin of your neck. With each shift, you feel your own heat pooling in your lower belly, and suddenly you’re chasing a high just within reach.

You start moving faster and you don’t notice how Eddie’s hands stop guiding you. You don’t notice his heavy panting against your neck. You don’t notice the tenseness in his muscles against yours. You don’t notice any of it as you blindly chase your own release. Not until his hands grip you harshly.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry but I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” He rushes out, pulling your hips away from his before shifting and taking a deep breath.

At the loss of contact you let out a whine but are quick to recover, shifting your weight to sit further back on his thighs.

“I have to tell you something.” He says, face turning bright red. “Remember I told you that I… hooked up with that girl before?”

“Yes?” You say, knowing where this is going.

“Well I lied.”

“I fucking knew it!” You say sitting up straighter, hitting Eddie on the chest. Eddie flushes, face turning red, ears turning a pretty shade of pink. “Eddie, it’s okay.” You say softly. “So… are you…?” He nods before you’re even done speaking.

“I… am a virgin.” He says sheepishly.

“Well I am too. You didn’t have to lie or be embarrassed.” You smile.

“I know, I just thought you were gonna catch onto the fact that the only girl I wanted was you, so when you asked if I hooked up with that girl, I just kind of… went with it.” He says dipping his head exasperatedly before pulling back up to look at you.

“You are so…” You trail off, grinning. “You are such a dork.”

“But you love me?” He says smiling.

“That I do. Love you a lot actually.”

“Fuck, I’ll never get used to hearing that. I love you too, Strat.” He says, pulling you in for a kiss.

You want him more than ever and you’re starting to get impatient, so you break apart the kiss.

“Eddie, can we go to your room? I don’t think Wayne would want us fucking on the couch.” Eddie blushes deep red again, the cute tint expanding across his cheeks to the top of his nose.

“Yeah. He wouldn’t like that.” He agrees, starting to stand, hiding his blush as he maneuvers up from the couch. When you go to step off him, his hands grasp your ass harshly, pulling you up with him, making a squeak erupt from your chest. You wrap your legs around his hips and he walks you back to his room, kicking the door open with his foot and shutting it just the same.

He lowers you down to his mattress before dropping you with a bounce and settling next to you. You sit up, grabbing at his shirt, pulling the hem. He helps you pull it up, lifting it over his head. Your hands run down the front of his chest before settling at the buckle of his belt, eyes shifting to the fullness at the crotch of his jeans, clearly hard and begging to be released.

You work at the belt before he takes over, quickly jiggling it undone. Pushing his hands away, you take over making him laugh. Undoing the rest of his pants, you bring your hands to the waistband, tugging them down before he starts to help you again. When they’re finally off, you grab at the band of his boxers but he stops you.

“You too. Don’t want to be naked by myself.” He says abashedly, making you laugh.

Your hands find the hem of your shirt before he takes over, tugging it free from your body. His eyes nervously meet yours and you nod giving him permission to look. His eyes roam your exposed torso, chest still covered but his eyes glue onto the spilling tops of your breasts.

“Want me to take it off?” You ask quietly. He nods but then shakes his head, quickly bringing his own arms around your body, fumbling with the closure. Slowly but surely he gets it undone, pulling away to watch as the material slips from your front, exposing your bare chest.

“You are so perfect.” He awes. His eyes drink you in hungrily. “Can I touch you?” He asks, his eyes flickering up to yours.

“Yes.”

He raises his hands and you don’t miss the tremor, in fact, you appreciate its presence because it means he’s just as nervous as you are.

His warm palms connect with your skin, with a gentle touch. He drags his hands down, his fingers passing over your nipples making you gasp. He looks up at you and you nod letting him know it was good.

More confidently this time, he rubs upward on your breasts, massaging them. He visibly pauses when he doesn’t get the same response from you and you can practically see his thoughts as he tries to figure out how to get you to make that sound again. Pulling his palms away, he lets his fingers ghost over just your nipples. When he pinches one gently, you exhale sharply, mewl spilling from your lips and he smiles.

“Can I use my mouth?” He asks, fingers continuing to pinch and roll your nipples.

“Uh-huh. Want you to.” You say between gasps. With your permission, Eddie dives forward, lips pressing around your right nipple, tongue poking out to swirl around it. You gasp, chest sinking and Eddie follows you before guiding you to lay down against the pillow.

“That feels really good.” You say and he moves to pay attention to your left nipple.

“Yeah? Making lots of pretty sounds.” He says before attaching his lips to you.

Your hands find the back of his head tugging his hair with every swirl of his tongue that sends shivers through your body. His hand trails down your stomach, stopping at the button of your jeans.

“Please” You whine, begging for more. Eddie groans against you, the vibrations making you whimper.

In a swift motion, he undoes the button before pulling away to take off your pants.

“This okay?” He asks, lowering the zipper, hands waiting at the waist of your jeans.

“Please.” You whine again, bringing your own hands to your chest, trying to recreate what he was doing but failing miserably. Eddie catches sight of you fondling your own breasts and gets distracted. “Eddie.”

“Sorry. You’re just so fucking beautiful. Fuck.” He groans, tearing his eyes away from your chest. Refocusing on his task.

He tugs your pants down, leaving you in your panties. He pauses and you can tell he’s mulling something over in his head.

“Can I try something?” He asks, fingers tickling your hips as he trails over the lace of your panties.

“Sounds scary.” You joke, smiling.

“No- just, want to eat you out. But, never done it before so…” he says, shrugging as his nervousness appears.

You swallow, contemplating.

“I don’t have to, but I want to try. And I know I’m gonna cum in 2 minutes and I want you to feel good too.” He says and it makes your heart squeeze at his sentiment.

“You can try but nobody’s ever done it to me before so I don’t know what you're supposed to do either.” You say smiling at him, which he returns.

“Can I?” He grins, tugging at the elastic of your panties before letting it snap it back against your skin.

“Ow, dick.” You say, even though it didn’t hurt. You don’t grant him a response instead you reach down, pulling at them yourself.

“Sorry, baby. Let me.” He says taking over. You heart fucking stops at his pet name. You’re always sweetheart, princess, darling, m’lady… a million other stupid names, but never baby.

You're caught in such a stump just by his words you don’t even realize he’s pulled off your underwear and is busy taking the sight of your pussy, but when you do, you squeeze your legs closed feeling embarrassed.

“No, no, baby. You’re so pretty. So perfect. Wanna see you.” He says, hands placed on your knees, not pulling your legs open just yet. “Wanna make you feel good. Gotta see you to do that.” He says, letting his thumbs stroke your kneecaps.

You exhale deeply before letting your legs fall open again.

“Fuck, look at you. Been dreaming of this.” Eddie groans.

“Dreaming?” You giggle.

“Oh yeah. Always had you keeping me up at night.” He mumbles, letting his hands rub higher on your thighs. “But you’re more perfect than I ever imagined. Look at you, all wet and glossy.” You lift your head, trying to see what he sees and he’s not wrong, your inner thighs are glistening from squeezing your thighs together, skin looking slick and shimmery between your legs.

“Touch me, Eddie.” You whisper, starting to feel impatient again.

He brings one hand to you, letting his thumb push between your folds. As he glides down, the pad of his finger brushes over your clit making you jump. He looks up at you, gauging your response before he does it again, softer this time, making you moan out.

Keeping your button under his thumb, making small circles, he shifts on the bed, lowering himself so his face is right in your cunt.

The speed of his thumb increases and you throw your head back against the pillow squeezing your eyes shut at the pleasure.

It abruptly stops before you're greeted with a much wetter, hotter feeling against you, swirling around your clit before sucking. You shoot your eyes open to see Eddie watching you with dark eyes from between your thighs.

“F-fuck.” You stutter when he sucks harshly.

“That good, baby?” He mumbles into you, not bothering to pull his mouth away from you.

“Uh-huh. Really good, Eddie.” You say, almost surprised.

You whine as he stops the swirling to lick a stripe up your core. His mouth lowers, tongue finding your hole and you hold your breath, unsure of the feeling until you feel his nose hit your clit, making your hips stutter. As they do, his tongue pushes in and out of you making you gasp, sucking in a breath.

“Again please.” You say. He lets his tongue fuck into you but it’s not as good. Without saying anything you bring your hand down, fingers finding your clit.

“Uh-uh. Tell me what you want, baby.” He says grabbing your hand. “Want to make you feel good. Need to tell me what you want so I know.” He says, consoling your whine.

“Want you to rub my clit too.” You whisper, trying not to be embarrassed.

“Good girl.” He says, before bringing his thumb back to you. You feel yourself clench at the words, feeling hotter under his praise. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything but he gives you exactly what you asked for.

He lets his tongue slip in and out of your while his thumb works against you making you moan and whimper.

“Want, want your tongue on-” You say, cutting off your own words with a gasp as his thumb starts to move quicker.

“Want my tongue where, baby?”

“Clit. Please.”

“That’s a good girl.” He chides, grinning up at you as he shifts upwards. The sound that comes from your mouth is close to a cry and completely unwarranted because he’s not even touching you.

“Like being my good girl?” Eddie asks cockily, laughing softly.

You almost want to flick him in the head but you can’t when his tongue connects with you again, sucking and lapping at you.

“Hmm? Are you my good girl?” He asks again.

“Y-yes. L-like being your good g-girl.” You say, hips starting to stutter and breath turning to pants.

“Gonna use my fingers too, is that okay?” He asks, pausing for your answer.

“Good, please, fingers.” You say squirming against the mattress for friction.

You feel his fingers run along your slit, gather wetness before one rests at your entrance. Sinking it in, he goes slow, bringing his mouth back to your clit at the same time. Once it’s fully inside you, he pulls back out, pushing in quicker. Although his finger is thicker than your own, one isn’t enough.

“More. Two.” You gasp, hoping he’ll understand your broken message.

He pulls out before introducing a second. This time, you feel a nice stretch that makes you grind your hips down into the mattress. Once he’s got them both into the knuckle, he shifts on the mattress, getting comfortable, but as he does, his fingers wiggle inside you, brushing a spot that feels absolutely divine, a spot you’ve never been able to reach on your own. As quickly as you feel it, it’s gone.

“Eddie. Do that again.” You say, breathiness put on pause at his accidental discovery.

“Do… what.” He says, confused since all he did was shift so he was laying flat on his stomach.

“You, like, wiggled.” You say showing him your own hand trying to demonstrate what it felt like. At your guidance he does it again and there it is, making your hips stutter.

“Oh.” Eddie says, sounding bewildered at how that one little movement causes waves in your body. He does it again this time focusing on the one area, and you gasp.

“Yeah. Right there.” You cry.

He does it again, this time exploratory, dragging his fingers out just enough to push them back in, keeping the curve in his fingers to find that spot.

“Y-yes. Again.” You whimper.

He continues this, a few more times watching your body arch and writhe at the little movement, until he brings his mouth back to you licking up and down on your clit with the tip of his tongue.

Your breathing turns heavy quickly and you start to feel like you're burning. Panting, your hands search for any purchase on Eddie, landing on his head. Fingers intertwining in his hair, you cry out moans as your belly grows impossible tight. He groans against you as you accidentally pull his hair, the vibrations only adding to your pleasure.

“You’re getting really tight.” He mumbles against you.

“G-gonna. Gonna cum, Eddie.” You cry.

“Cum for me, baby. Be a good girl. C’mon, doing so good.” He coaxes lowly.

You let go. Squeezing your eyes shut, you feel waves of ecstasy wash over you, seas of desire flooding over you, pent up oceans setting their tides free.

Your head goes dizzy in your euphoric daze, galaxies appearing against your eyelids. Just when you think you’re lost in the pleasure you hear Eddie’s voice.

“That’s it, beautiful girl. Doing so good for me.” And you follow his voice, letting him guide you back to earth.

Your hips are still stuttering at his movements, now feeling over sensitive.

“G-good. T-too much.” You stutter but Eddie gets the message, slowing his movements before pulling his fingers from you. Opening your eyes you watch him scissor his fingers in the air, eyes wide as he watches your slick stretch between them. Eddie catches your gaze before wiping his fingers on his boxers.

“That was so fucking hot, holy shit.” He says excitedly, eyes turning wide. “I want to do that so many more times. That was… you’re incredible.” He awes.

“Was really good for me too, Eds.” You say, still catching your breath. You use your remaining energy to reach forward, coaxing him to come to you. When he gets closer, your fingers rest at the waistband of his boxers.

“Oh. I um-“ He says embarrassedly and suddenly you notice the wet patch on his boxers. The material still tents around him slightly, but the wet patch is unmistakable.

“You came?” You ask.

“Well, that was just really hot a-and I got carried away but if you give me a minute I’m already half hard again.” He says quickly, words rushing out.

“Eddie, it’s okay. But if you want to keep going… I can help?” You offer, eyes motioning down to the semi tent in his boxers. He perks up before visibly trying to hide his excitement.

“Only if you want to.” He says shyly.

“I want to.” You smile at him before lifting yourself from the bed. “Okay, pretty boy. You lay here now and I’ll make you feel good.”

“You think I’m a pretty boy? Eddie laughs, complying with you as you position him how you want him.

“Eddie, I think you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever met. Handsome. Gorgeous. Hot. All of the attractive synonyms.” You laugh and Eddie’s cheek flush once again. “Let’s get these sticky things off you, huh?” You say winking at him, fingers playing with the waistband of his boxers. “That okay, big boy?” You tease. He does look big though, not that you have anything to compare him to.

Eddie clears his throat before hands reach for his boxers but you stop him with a tut.

“Nuh-uh. Tell me what you want, baby. You want these off?” You say, teasing him with the same tone he used. Even though it’s a tease, he goes rigid beneath you, nodding dumbly.

“Want these off, please.” He replies.

“Aw please? So polite of you to say please right before I’m about to suck your dick.” You say keeping the same tone. With your eyes on the waistband as you work the boxers down, you physically see his cock kick up at your words and he’s now longer half hard, he’s fully hard.

He lifts his hips for you and it’s enough to pull the fabric down. As the elastic passes down his hips, setting him free, his dick bobs against his lower belly, settling for you to gawk at.

Your eyes go wide. You’re sure he’s big. There’s no way he’s not. And the pearly shine glossing over him makes it look almost angelic, and you know it’s just a penis, but he looks so beautiful, so pretty and pink with a flushed tip. You gawk in awe, unnoticeing of the way Eddie blushes and squirms under your attention.

“You’re staring. Is it weird? What’s wrong?” Eddie says, hands shooting to cover himself.

“No-no.” You say holding his wrist. “Just, you look really big. Are you big? I’m not really sure but you look big?” You ramble, trying to explain yourself quickly. Eddie laughs, bringing a hand to his face wiping over his chin. He looks at your with a smirk.

“You didn’t believe me all those times I told you I had a big dick?” He laughs.

“Fuck no. You’re so full of shit all the time, how could I believe anything you say?” You laugh, swatting at him lightly.

“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s average size, so maybe you’re right.” He laughs softly.

“Average?” You say shocked. “But it’s so…” You trail off, finally holding him, your fingers barely wrapping all the way around him. “And you’re so pretty.” You say astounded.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Don’t call me pretty, then my dick pretty. That’s messed up.” He laughs.

“But it’s true.” You say pouting your lip out at him. “All of you is so so pretty.”

You tighten your fingers around him, watching his face. His mouth falls open slightly and you drag your hand up his sticky shaft, spreading his cum over him. It doesn’t feel as wet as you think it should so you lean over him, letting spit dribble from your lips landing right on the tip and he lets out a heavy breath.

“Baby, you’re gonna have about a minute before you have to stop or I’ll cum again. Just warning you.” Eddie says before sucking in a harsh breath.

“I’ll make my minute count then.” You laugh, before leaning forward lowering your mouth to him.

As your hands spread the spit over the shaft, you open your mouth enough to poke your tongue out, swirling over the tip, tasting the unfamiliar saltiness. You hum, before lowering yourself even more, taking the tip in your mouth, closing your lips around him. He whimpers immediately, without you doing as much as sucking.

You let your tongue swirl slightly before flattening it, lowering your mouth onto him. His hips jerk slightly and you hear a squeak come from him that makes you look up.

“Wanna hear you, Eddie.” You say when you clue in that he’a trying to be quiet.

“Feels really good.” He says breathily.

You take him in your mouth again, sinking your hands on his shaft in time with your mouth before coming back up and repeating. Eddie’s moans and whimpers fill the room and you can feel the throb between your legs, your neediness returning. You arch your back up, squeezing your thighs, trying to find any sort of relief.

You feel Eddie’s hand on your back, running up and down, making you shiver. He stops his movements, tugging you closer to him until his hand reaches under your torso, his fingers finding the slickness of your cunt before they’re rubbing against your clit making you push your ass further in the air.

You relish in your own pleasure before remembering that this is supposed to be for Eddie. You sink your mouth as far as it can go, pulling up quickly. You do it again, this time going further, nose almost brushing against the wispy hairs at his base.

“F-fuck.” Eddie groans, fingers pausing in their movements on your clit.

When you pull up from him, his hips rise with you, chasing your mouth before he settles back on the bed. You let your hands rub up and down his length, while you catch your breath.

You sink down into him again, letting him slide all the way into your throat. You hold it as he hums and whimpers, letting your hands sit at his base, accidentally adding pressure to his balls that makes him jerk up into your mouth. You gag as he hits deep in your throat, before instinctively swallowing around him. He moans loudly, whimpering turning in a chorus of expletives until he realizes what he just did.

“Sorry! Sorry! Didn’t mean to do that. Sorry!” He says, his hand cradling your face as you gasp for a breath of air.

“S’okay.” You reply, sitting up enough to get a clear view of him. “Kinda liked choking on your dick.” You say smiling, wiping the corners of your lips. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut before throwing his head back against the pillow.

“Fuuuck. Don’t say that, I’ll cum. I’m fragile.” He groans, sucking in a deep breath.

You watch him for a moment, the quick rise and fall of his chest making you smile. You didn’t know you needed Eddie like this, but seeing it, seeing him like this, you could never not have him like this ever again.

“Are you ready?” You ask.

“Ready.” He replies, sitting up quickly.

You switch spots with Eddie once again, with you laying flat on your back on the bed. Eddie hovers over you, figuring out where to situate himself.

“Oh fuck.” He says suddenly, his head meeting your chest as he shrinks into himself, hair tinkling you in the process.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, hands finding the sides of his head to pull him to look at you.

“‘Member that box of condoms Wayne bought?”

“Yeah?” You laugh.

“Well he bought it when we were like 15, so, like, obviously they were very old… they expired so I threw them out.” He says, embarrassment flashing in his eyes.

“Okay…” you say skeptically, not understanding exactly what he’s getting at.

“I don’t have any condoms.” He groans, hanging his head again.

“Oh.” You respond.

“Sorry.” Eddie starts rambling more apologies but you interrupt him.

“I never told you this— cause it was so embarrassing at the time, but…” You trail off, formulating your words in your head. Eddie looks up at you with narrowed eyes, trying to piece together your words. “…around the same time Wayne gave you the condoms, my mom also made me start taking birth control cause she was so sure that you were gonna get me pregnant.” You say, annoyed at the memory of your mom pestering you at 15 to ‘take the goddamn pill’ everyday.

“Seriously?” Eddie laughs.

“Yeah. She was so fucking annoying about it too. I almost told you about it but I was so embarrassed.” You say, scrunching your face at the memory.

“If you had told me I probably would have cum in my pants— shit especially at 15. If the wind blew the wrong way I was blowing my load.” He laughs, dimples deepening on his cheeks.

“Yeah cause that’s so different from now.” You tease, rolling your eyes.

“Trust me. Way different.” He laughs. “You know Wayne thought I’d get you pregnant too. ‘You get that girl pregnant, her dad will kill us both, boy.’ Eddie says, mocking Wayne’s drawl.

“My moms thing was ‘sometimes things just happen and it’s always good to be prepared’.” You say, pitching your voice up to mock your mom.

“Well she’s right. A few years ahead of her time, but your moms always been a smart cookie.” Eddie says, finger bopping your nose when you scrunch it.

“Okay, let’s stop talking about our parents this is so fucking weird.” You laugh, grabbing Eddie’s hand to stop him from poking at your face some more.

“Wait, just to be clear. You’re on the pill and…?” Eddie says, leading you to finish his thought.

“I mean, neither of us have done this before so we’re clean and like… yeah on the pill, so?”

“You want me to just.. stick it in… plain? Raw? Naked? Bareback?” Eddie says rotating through the words trying to find one that sounds good but failure is evident in the way he cringes at himself.

“Eddie. ‘Stick it in’ would ya?” You say mocking his choice of words, making him visibly regret them as he shakes his head.

He shuffles closer to you, on his knees between your thighs. He hooks his hands under your calves, pulling you closer and spreading you, making your stomach flip in anticipation.

You watch as he takes himself in his hand, stroking once before letting the head slide through your folds until it’s resting at your entrance.

“Wait, Eddie!” You say, when you feel him start to push in. He stops immediately, eyes shooting to you. “Sorry, just want you to hold my hand.” You say shyly, reaching your hand toward his free one.

“Of course, baby. I got you.” He says, squeezing your fingers in his palm.

With your hand in his, his other hand continues guiding himself into you, giving you a look to make sure it’s okay now. You nod your head, squeezing his hand, and he starts to push in.

It’s a stretch at first. A burning stretch that steals all the air from your lungs, making you squeeze Eddie’s hand harshly. His thumb rubs soothingly on the back of your hand as he offers sweet nothings but you drown them out, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Hey, baby?” He questions pulling you from your thoughts as he stills his slow push.

“Hmm?” You question, eyes opening to meet his.

“Doing okay?” He asks, eyes soft and voice gentle.

“Stings a bit.” You say trying to brush it off. It’s really not that bad, just uncomfortable.

“Want to stop?”

“No. Feels… less sting-y already, just keep going.” You encourage truthfully. Eddie watches you for another second searching for truth. You smile at him and he nods before he starts pushing his hips forward again agonizingly slow.

“Fuck.” He groans under his breath as his hips connect with yours, bottoming out inside of you. Your free hand finds his hip, holding him in place while you adjust.

“How’s it?” You ask, filling the silence in the room as you shift your hips to try and make it more comfortable.

“You’re so warm and wet. You feel so fucking good, holy shit.” Eddie babbles words coming from the tip of his tongue like he was bursting to say them, his eyes twinkling in the light as he looks at you. Your heart flutters at his sincerity. “And so fucking tight. You’re squeezing me so hard.” Eddie says, shutting his eyes in pleasure, drawing your attention to his bottom lip as he bites it harshly.

With your hand on his hip, you use it to pull yourself forward. The shifting draws his attention, looking at you curiously until you pucker your lips at him with a smile. Leaning down into you, he connects his lips with yours, kissing you tenderly. What really gets your attention is the way his moving makes his cock drag inside of you, making your toes curl at the sensation, moaning into Eddie’s mouth.

You tap his side, trying to get him to move, but he gets lost in the kiss, mouth moving against your fervently.

“Eddie, you can move, please.” You whine into his mouth.

“Yeah?” He responds, kissing you again before pulling away, cock shifting inside you again hitting that same spot he found earlier making your breath hitch.

You don’t respond to him, too busy searching for that feeling again, shifting your own hips against him, deflating with a ‘hmph’ when you can’t get it.

“Eddie.” You whine because he’s still not moving and when you look at him, he’s smiling at you with a shit faced grin. You furrow your brows at him, not impressed.

“Is my baby getting impatient? Hm?” Eddie coos and you sink your head into the pillow with a grunt, annoyed at his teasing.

“Eddie.” You warn.

“Oh. She’s real impatient, huh? What do I got to do to make you my good girl again?” He teases, hand dragging up the side of your leg.

“Fucking. Move.” You answer harshly, making Eddie laugh.

“You know, I always like it when you’re mean to me.” He says, making you blush.

“‘M not mean.” You say softly. Yeah… maybe you have a few choice words here and there but mean? Never…

“Mean. Violent too. Got lots of bruises from you over the years. But I liked it.” He says, voice faded into a low rumble, his hand rubbing your thigh all the way down to your hip.

“Please, Eddie.” You whine when his roaming hand sits on your lower belly, thumb grazing over your cunt.

“Gonna rub your little clit, okay? Want you to enjoy this before I blow my load embarrassingly quickly.” He whispers, the last part more meant for himself.

His thumb sinks into your folds, making your lower body jolt as he presses your button, easing up into little circles again making you sigh.

“Can you move please, Eddie. Really want you to move.” You say, voice coming out soft and whiny like a whimper.

“I know baby, just trying not to cum so quickly.”

“You can, don’t care, just want to feel you.” You say breathily as his hips pull back. Paired with his motions on your clit, the friction makes your stomach tense.

Eddie moves achingly slow, pulling all the way out before pushing back in. You anxiously await for him to hit that spot but it never comes. You can tell he’s looking for it too with the way his face contorts, gears turning in his head.

You cant your hips trying to shift and Eddie’s quick to help you, freeing both his hands from you, bringing them to the backs of your thighs. When he fumbles, folding you into yourself, pushing your knees up, that's when you feel it.

“Right there!” You say, hand shooting to rest on his hold on your leg.

“Yeah?” He asks, eyes on you.

“Yeah.” You gasp as he sits up straighter on his knees at this angle, cock pushing against that spot.

Once he rights himself, he pulls out, pushing in slowly, the head of cock dragging deliciously against that spot making you moan. He does it again, just as slowly, before he grows in confidence, starting to pick up the pace.

“Fuck. You feel so good, baby. Feels like you’re sucking me back in every time.” He groans, exhaling harshly as his balls hit against your ass with every thrust. He reaches for your free hand, pulling it to hold on to your knee. When you comply, he brings his hand back to your clit, rubbing quick little circles on you.

“E-Eddie.” You gasp, feeling the tightness in your stomach growing.

“Doing so good for me, missy. Being such a good girl letting me fuck you raw.” Eddie babbles with barely any coherency, his words traveling right to your core, pooling heat and adding intensity to your pleasure.

“F-feels so good Eddie. Y-your cock feels so good.” You babble, his thrusts punching the air from your lungs as his own neediness increases.

“Gotta cum for me baby. Won’t last. Know you can do it.” He pleads breathily, thumb increasing in speed against you making you cry out in pleasure.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you feel it coming.

“G-gonna-” You pant. Eddie hums in response knowing what you’re saying but you don’t have the chance to finish the sentiment because you’re shaking in pleasure, intensity hitting you like an 18-wheeler. Eddie speeds up, chasing his own high while you feel like you’re floating through time and space.

“Where- where?” He says panicked, but you suddenly don’t care about anything other than feeling him dragging in and out of you, his erratic rubbing of your clit elongating your high, bringing you impossibly higher.

Eddie grunts harshly, jolting inside of you as you feel a subtle warmth seeping into you, filling you up and it makes your stomach flip in excitement.

He continues his stuttering, hips jerking in and out of you, working himself through his orgasm and you open your eyes to see his face contorted in a pleasure that makes your belly tingle. His bangs are stuck to his forehead, cheeks flushed pink, a sheen of sweat covers his chest, and shit you thought he was pretty before but he looks absolutely ethereal like this.

His convulsing thrusts slow before he’s collapsing on top of you, pushing the air from your lungs in surprise.

You bring your hands to wrap around his neck, hugging him into you. Your fingers dance through his curls as he huffs into your skin.

“Sorry baby, didn’t mean to cum in you, I just panicked when you didn’t answer and then I swear to god I blacked out.” He says nervously.

“I liked it.” You say quietly. Eddie stirs on top of you but you hug his closer not wanting him to move.

“You liked it?” He questions.

“Yeah. Liked feeling you fill me up. Felt exciting.” You say nervously, not sure if that’s weird.

“You’re gonna make me hard again and I haven’t even pulled out.” He says and you laugh.

The both of you rest, catching your breath and relaxing into each other. The feeling of Eddie on you is surprisingly comfy despite how heavy he is, it’s a welcome weight on you after feeling so floaty.

You aren’t sure how long you both lay like that, but after what could have been minutes, hours, or days, Eddie kisses your chest where he lays, before shifting his hips, pulling from you. The drag out feels sore and you can’t help the whimper that escapes you.

“Sorry.” He mumbles, pushing himself up on his arms, moving up to press a kiss to your lips.

Eddie rolls to his side, landing on the bed beside you, arms pulling you by the waist closer to him. When you shift, you feel yourself leaking, eyes shooting wide at the odd sensation.

“Eddie, your cum— it’s coming out.” You say, starting to sit up.

“What?” He says dumbly before clueing in. “Oh, shit I’ll get something.” He says, gracelessly pushing you back down, hooking a leg over you to jump off his bed. You don’t notice, but when he stands, his eyes go to the floor, bending down to pick up a dirty shirt. He’s quick to return to the bed, moving between your legs.

“Oh, baby, you should see this.” Eddie says, eyes lighting up as he stares between your legs. “You look so pretty with my cum leaking out of you like that. Holy shit.” He says, completely mesmerized.

You sit up enough to catch a glimpse that makes your stomach flip. The ab strength needed to look is too much for your tired body so you flop back down on the bed, leaving Eddie to finish up his gawking.

He takes in the sight of you for a few more seconds before wiping you, making you hiss at the contact.

“Sore.” You say, eyes traveling down to watch what he’s doing and you realize that he’s using a shirt to clean you up, one that you’re positive was on his floor. “Eddie, are you seriously using a dirty shirt?” You say, voice coming out haughty and stern.

“Not the first time I cleaned up cum with this shirt, sweetheart.”

“Ew gross Eddie. I've worn that shirt before.” You shrill and Eddie smirks heavily. “You’re fucking sick, you know that?” You laugh.

“It was clean when you wore it and I didn't do it on purpose! You grabbed the shirt and what was I supposed to say? ‘Strat, get a new shirt, I used that one as a cum rag last week’” He mocks and you roll your eyes.

He throws the shirt back to the floor, carelessly flopping himself beside you again.

“Stay the night?” Eddie asks, cozying into you, kicking up the blanket from the foot of the bed to cover you both.

“Hm… one condition.” You say.

“What’s that?” Eddie smiles.

“Don’t call me ‘missy’ during sex ever again. That’s what Wayne calls me.” You say, grimacing in disgust at the thought.

“Oh gross, I didn’t even notice I said that.” Eddie cringes.

“Yeah, gross.” You affirm. “So it’s a deal?” You laugh.

“Absolutely.” He says, pulling you closer to him until you're pressed into his chest.

Your heart feels full. Eddie is your person through and through, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.

“I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you too, Strat.”

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#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic

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