Tumgik
#there’s been times my mom or my brother will be like remember shitty thing dad did and im like… kinda?but this is me words
starspaceace · 9 months
Text
being on vacation with my dad has reminded me why i went a period of time no contact with him like. my brother put it like he’s 50 and like a libertarian which is kinda cringe get a real opinion old man. i’m going to rant because i need to write shit down
i kinda need to rant a bit like. i went no contact for a while over an argument with my brother living with him and him treating my brother like shit while that was happening but honestly i haven’t gone more than a day with my dad since i was 16 because when i was 16 i could just drive myself back to my moms house instead of doing like the weekend visits and getting into arguments every weekend but im on a week vacation with them right now
my stepmom saw that i like don’t shave my legs and wear clothes from the mens section so she’s like ‘well if there’s anything you want to tell us we support you :)’ which is. kinda funny in itself assigned gay by hairy legs but im like ok easy opportunity i guess to go well is this a gender question? they know im gay but this is a different thing im like sure non binary im not like a man but woman isn’t right yknow and she’s like well we support you :) but she i guess she tells my dad? and since that he’s upped like the “well you’re always going to be dad’s little princess” like thats a thing he’s always done (which has been and would still be annoying as someone who still identified really female. my brother doesn’t get that treatment yknow?) but it feels more. bad. also my brother and his girlfriend call me carl as a nickname for carley and my dad was weird about that like ‘her name is carley! tell them to stop calling you carl’ and asked if i would change my name to something else. like. its just a nickname even if i would change my name it wouldn’t be to carl. carl is a fine nickname until im one of them they/thems? there was also some weird comment at one point about how everyone’s bisexual now (which? my brother is just a straight man so its not even like we’re both gay its literally just me) (should’ve picked an easier to nickname name all carley gets is carl sometimes) my brothers girlfriend is with us and put it well like my stepmom just enables my dad. idk
like i told my brother its so hard to misgender me but my dad’s managed to do it somehow. like i know i see myself nonbinary but im short and fat and my voice is feminine so im just going to be perceived female? i still use she/her pronouns so like. whatever. its a thing i’ve accepted about myself but as long as i feel good about myself generally it doesn’t matter. my brother said it didn’t seem like it’s purposefully malicious but its still. something. im not sure what kind of word im looking for it. i think its just disappointing. im just wondering if they’d be like this about me being gay if i actually was like. dating. if i was “/really/“ gay instead of theoretically gay or gone on a date with one girl once gay. but since im like here and queer! im not queer in an acceptable way anymore?
in related issues my dad has like a lot of opinions but like no fucking opinion at all on anything like ? all politicians are corrupt but also socialism is bad (not exact words but like. the gist. food stamps welfare etc etc ) vaguely racist ideas (ie easily deniable, not sure he even realizes the things he’s saying are such) and throwing out weird buzzwords. called the backseat of us in the car millennials when we’re pretty solid gen z (like does he not realize he’s? like 7 years older than the oldest millennial? not far from that man you’re gen x). like if you’re going to be conservative just commit instead of pretending you’re not
my brother has been really great to be with through this experience of dealing with our dad tho in both making fun of his opinions and my gender stuff. making sure he’s not misgendering me (like asked if id rather he said sibling, i think im still ok with sister. or like my pronouns) we’re funny about it tho he said if i changed my name it should be to wolfgang or maybe pull a power move and just change it to his name and we have to fight over it. been making me feel better about everything instead of being bummed out about everything.
anyways my brother was playing our beach playlist we made and he put on one mcr song we put on there and my stepmom was like well carley can have one song but this isn’t my cup of tea but we’ll listen to it for her and i texted my brother like damn i can’t even have my gay song. they also hated on international love by pit bull so maybe they’re just haters. it’s tuesday and we’re here until saturday morning and my dads birthday is tomorrow so here’s hoping to uh. nothing eventful. worst case we drove here seperately and leave :P
3 notes · View notes
nariism · 9 months
Text
come out and haunt me
pair. itoshi sae x ghost!reader
content: fluff, angst/comfort with a happy ending, reader is a ghost, platonic + romantic interactions, strangers to friends (to more?), slight pining
synopsis. sae is 13 years old when he moves to madrid. his temporary apartment is old and cheap, and worst of all it's haunted. but he finds your company better than nothing, even if you do tend to knock all of his belongings over.
wc. 5.7k
Tumblr media
You are dead.
As it comes to all mortal humans, you have died. You can't remember when, or how, or why— only that it is your duty to haunt this home, that you are abysmally cold, and that you are dead.
You don't know if you had any last words, what it was like to draw a breath, or how to stop feeling so cold. Cradling yourself somehow makes it worse. But you are dead, so what does it matter if you can't remember?
If you had aspirations and meaning in life, then you suppose you should try to find them in death, too. So you float around empty halls, deliberately bump into things just for the fun of it, and pretend that you aren't dead. It is purposeful enough.
There's a boy who lives with you.
You are dead, and he is alive, yet he seems completely unbothered by your loud, obnoxious presence.
Tumblr media
Sae feels more dead than alive.
He is 13 years old when he moves into his temporary home in Madrid. It's old and worn. It is all his parents could afford with Yen in a foreign country.
His new home is despairingly lonely. It makes the heart in his chest sink into the pit of his stomach. He misses Rin. His parents. Japan.
He should be thankful. He doesn't mean to be a brat. But the small apartment is cramped and cold and smells like mildew. He's allergic to something in the walls. His light buzzes horribly when it turns on.
And, well. The place is haunted.
Tumblr media
You are a ghost haunting an old, rickety apartment in Madrid.
You've never seen your reflection in the mirror, but you're pretty sure you look scary. There has been others before him— a young couple with a dog; a retired carpenter; a businessman complaining about how shitty work is over the phone. Each and every one of them have left you the same way: screaming, crying, colour drained from their faces and packing their suitcase before you could even say hello.
It's a little lonely, being a ghost. Sometimes you wish you came off a little friendlier. You have no ill intent, you're just bored. Bored and lonely and wishing to know why everyone thinks you're so terrifying.
The boy who lives with you is the first. He's the first to look you dead in the eyes and shrug you off. He's the first to fall asleep knowing your presence is watching. He's the first to leave out a bowl of warm, steaming rice for you even though he seems to know you can't physically eat it.
His company is silent, as is yours. It's better than nothing.
Tumblr media
Sae is 13 years and 5 months old when he tells Rin his apartment is haunted.
"A ghost? Seriously?" Rin sounds unimpressed even through the static of the phone call. Take it from the kid who watches horror movies in his spare time. Freak, Sae thinks.
"Seriously. I have a picture."
He can hear his brother pulling his phone away from his ear to look at the image he just sent. The call goes quiet for a moment, and then Rin is scoffing in the microphone again.
"Quit messing with me." The younger Itoshi sighs. "This isn't funny."
Rin is only 11. He lives at home with Mom and Dad. He's not alone right now, in a place where everyone speaks a jumbled language he can't decipher yet.
He doesn't understand that even if Sae isn't being haunted, he shouldn't crush his brother's hopes that someone, or something, is watching over him.
"I'm not," Sae deadpans.
"Yeah, okay, and what does this ghost do, then?" He still sounds skeptical.
"Mostly just knocks over my books and stuff."
From his couch, he watches you bristle in embarrassment and scurry away into the darkness of the hall.
Tumblr media
You are some sort of untethered soul, unsure of where your actual body rests. It could be 10 meters from this apartment. It could be in Antarctica, for all you know.
Okay, well, Antarctica is a bit of a reach, but you're certain that your body is somewhere. You wonder what kind of clothes you used to wear; what kind of music you used to listen to; what kind of hairstyle you used to prefer.
You wonder if these things are anything like Sae's.
He's all you have right now. It would be nice if you had some things in common. Maybe you could be friends, if he was ever going to acknowledge you to your face instead of gossiping to his brother.
You watch him quietly from the kitchen table, waiting for your bowl of rice. You must make some kind of face when he instead places a plate of eggs in front of you.
He almost laughs, you think. He hasn't shown any sort of emotion in response to you thus far, so it's hard to tell.
"Coaches told me I have to be stricter about my diet," he says out loud. It's the first words he has ever spoken to you. It's the first words anyone has ever spoken to you.
He eats his bland eggs silently after that remark, eyeing them disdainfully.
You have that in common, at least. You miss your warm bowl of rice.
Tumblr media
Sae thinks you are funny.
He's only ever known ghosts to be malicious, benevolent beings. Things stuck in purgatory with no way out, forced to wander the mortal plane and thus turning into baneful monsters. Watching spooky movies with Rin has ingrained this into him—  hardwired his brain into giving him goosebumps whenever you're around even though he knows you're harmless.
He has to wonder how anyone could ever find a ghost like you genuinely scary, with your avoidant eyes and that patience while you wait for breakfast.
He doesn't mind doing twice the amount of dishes. Not if it means he doesn't feel alone.
You do silly things, like shoving his belongings over when you want his attention, or sitting on the floor and blowing bone-chillingly cold air into his face when he's taking his midday nap.
He's discovered that your inconsistent corporeal interactions with the world are quite amusing.
"What's your name?" He asks one day over eggs that he's shoving around on his plate.
Silence. Of course.
"Don't have one?"
You shake your head, but really, you don't know. You can't remember.
Sae has never been the talkative type, but for some reason he just can't keep his mouth closed. Being a complete shut-in and not having anyone to talk to outside of his team would do that to him, he guesses. He's thankful that you at least don't seem to have a language barrier when he speaks Japanese.
"Should I name you?"
Your offended expression screams: What am I, a pet?
He just smiles, placing his fork down and observing you carefully. And the name he decides on dances at the tip of his tongue, sounds so sweet coming from his lips.
You can't help but think the name was meant for you, in life or in death.
Tumblr media
You like listening to Sae talk.
He has a voice smooth as silk, so charming and boyish. He's young, you think. He told you once that you also looked rather young, and asked you how old you were when you died.
Even if you had an answer for him, it's not like you could have told him.
Sae is famous for his age, you discover one night while watching television with him. You're sitting on the floor and he's on the couch. You cause the TV to frizzle and crack with static but he doesn't shoo you away. Maybe he finds your presence more valuable than the background noise of the screen.
He's in a recording, playing what he calls "football"— light blue uniform, eyes wide with adrenaline, sweat sticking to his forehead and a proud shine in his expression. He isn't smiling by any means (you've also discovered that he rarely does), but you can tell he's happy.
"I'm going to be the greatest striker," he says from the couch. He talks about his dreams a lot, which is apparently what he used to do with Rin, but you don't mind filling in that role temporarily. "I'm going to be the best in the entire world."
You don't know anything about football, but you believe him anyways.
Tumblr media
Sae is 14 years old when he gets his first contract payment.
This is his chance, he realizes, to move out of his shitty little apartment and into an actual livable home.
He has to consider if you'll feel lonely, if you even can feel lonely, and if you'll like hanging out with your next housemate, whoever it is that's unlucky enough to have a ghost befall them.
He's getting soft. If it were any other point in his life, Sae would have taken the chance to move out without hesitation. But you've been there for him since day one, kept him enough company — no matter how quiet — for him not to go literally insane.
You're the only thing he has in Madrid that he can come home to right now. You’re the only reason he even comes home at night instead of just sleeping in the locker rooms.
If not him, who else would feed you crappy bland eggs in the morning?
You, football, sleep. You, football, sleep. You, football, sleep. At some point, it became his routine.
"I was thinking of moving out."
Your head tilts to the side. You seem perplexed by his statement.
"Like, leaving. Leaving here."
You blink at him, head tilting the other way. There's a look in your eyes that tells him you understand. There's also a look that tells him it's not your first time being abandoned, left in this terribly lonely, smelly apartment.
"I can never tell what you're thinking," he huffs.
You're still for a moment, just staring at him as if you suddenly can't understand Japanese. But then you get up from the table, walk over to the container of dry rice that's been untouched for so long that it's gathering dust, and knock it over.
"Hey," he scolds sharply, chair screeching as he stands. "I have to clean that, you know?"
You start moving the spilled rice into place. He watches curiously as you sort dry rice into a pile. You don't know any Kanji, he isn't surprised. But you know enough to draw him a universally understood symbol.
When he peers over at the messy counter, he finds himself staring at a giant X. Stay, it means. Don't leave.
That night, when he knows you've retreated into the closet where you seemingly go to sleep, he crumples up the lease for his new place without signing and burns the paper.
It's because he needs to make you eggs tomorrow morning. Only he would know to do that.
Tumblr media
"Do ghosts ever have dreams?"
You raise your head from the edge of the bed. You've made it a new habit to protect him in his sleep, from what he can tell. Perching yourself on the floor beside the mattress and resting there, head in your arms, making his sheets cold.
You shake your head. Of course not, he internally smacks himself. What a ridiculous notion.
He rolls himself over onto his side, looking at you from under his duvet. "So when you sleep, you don't see anything?"
Another shake of the head. He isn't sure you're understanding him. There's another pause as he peers at you, and then he sighs, eyes sliding shut.
"Do ghosts ever have dreams?" He asks again, this time emphasizing his words in a different way and hoping you'll answer him the way he wants.
Your eyes shift away for a second, as if pondering. When you look back he's surprised to see that you look... bashful?
You point at him, then at yourself, then shy away again.
You. Me. Friends.
Sae feels silly that it makes his heart ache a little— the sadness carried in your face and a loneliness so powerful he feels it rattling in his own bones.
Well, the two of you have a lot more in common than he thought. How long had you been alone? Was that really all you ever dreamed of? Having a friend?
Suddenly, his doubts about his own dreams feel immeasurably small.
He reaches out to pat your head. His hand goes through you.
Tumblr media
Sae is 15 years old when he packs up his belongings for a flight to Japan.
"I'll be back," he promises with a small smile. You believe him. He doesn't lie to you.
You wait patiently at the door for him for two weeks, three days, and sixteen hours. When he comes home, he finds you sitting on the floor like you always do with your head in your knees and a sleepy expression on your face.
He seems colder. More withdrawn, for some reason.
"Miss me?" Sae asks, but he's not even looking at you. He makes his way over to the kitchen and dumps a cup of rice into the cooker, suitcase abandoned at the door unpacked.
You trail behind him curiously, watching him in confusion as he washes it in the sink. He pauses, finally glancing at you before reaching over and dumping a second cup of rice in.
"I stress eat. Don't tell my coach."
The words don't make much sense to you, but you nod anyways.
For the first time in months, he places a bowl of warm rice in front of you. You do as he does, say thanks for the food in your head even though you can't eat, and observe him. You both sit quietly in the dim light of the apartment, moonlight beaming through your single rickety window.
He only gets four bites in before he puts his head in his hands and sobs.
You've never seen someone cry so hard before. Usually, they only do it when they first catch a glimpse of you and flee in terror. You've never known it to be such a painful sound— like a bird singing for the sky but never finding it.
Sae sits there for a long time just crying to himself, not caring that your presence is still watching. It's not like you'd ever judge him or have the voice to speak this secret, anyways.
"Fuck—" he hiccups, wiping up his face. "—Sorry."
You look at him funny. He has no reason to apologize. He's just a kid. A 15 year old kid who needs to stress eat in the solitude of his lonely apartment right now. It makes your chest squeeze; an unfamiliar, horrible feeling that's completely new to you. You wonder if this is what all the anime he watches calls a heart.
By the time he finishes crying, his rice is cold. And when he looks up, his eyes widen. Your lips are trembling and you look like you want to shout at him, but you can't. You are dead. You're a ghost. You can't yell some sense into him, even if you tried.
In the pale moonlight shining into the room, he can see tears illuminated on your cheeks.
Tumblr media
Sae is 16 years old when he meets his first partner.
"They're nice," he reassures you as he slicks his bangs up with gel. You shake your head in disapproval and he rolls his eyes. You always liked his bangs down, thinks he looks better that way. "Well, I can't stay single forever."
You scowl at him and swivel on your heel to stubbornly deny his claims. He just laughs.
"You're seriously jealous?"
You shoot him a glare.
"If you really don't like them, you could always scare them away. You are a ghost, aren't you?" He reaches up to pat your head as he always does. And as always, his hand phases through you.
He turns around to fix his hair again, leaning into the mirror to see himself closer.
You're not sure if you even have human features. You can't see them in a reflection, anyways. Even if you did, you're sure they're pretty scary.
You glance at Sae in the reflection. He looks as good as ever, no longer a scrawny little 13 year old kid who eats rice for breakfast every morning. You wonder if his partner is pretty like he is.
He must notice the chill in the air grow ten times colder— a telling sign that your mood is dropping. He turns around to see what has happened, only to find you sulking.
"What?"
You pout, gesturing to the mirror. He looks to the vanity, then to you, and he shakes his head with an exasperated smile.
"I was wondering when you'd ask," he says as if this was a conversation he's been waiting for. And then he talks. Talks more than you've heard in a long time— since he came home from Japan, probably.
He's gotten meaner over the years. He was always a rude little kid, but being pushed around in football must have given him thicker skin and a sharper tongue. You've never known him to be a saint of a human, someone who speaks so eloquently in their descriptions. But here he is now, defying your every expectation like he always does.
He tells you what colour your hair is. Compares the shape of your head to a fruit you can't recall an image of. Gives you a detailed explanation of all your flaws and marks and why he thinks they're so perfect because it proves that you were indeed alive and human at some point.
"You're beautiful," he concludes casually, as if he's not turning the entire world on its head right now.
Silence fills the room as he waits for your response. You don't do anything but gawk at him, and he chuckles.
He doesn't show up to his date that night.
Tumblr media
"Your hair got longer," Sae points out one day while he's scrolling through his phone.
Your eyes flutter open from where your head rests on the coffee table. You hadn't even noticed. Can ghosts grow? 
"You know, I used to think you'd stay the same forever, but you've been growing up with me. It's cute."
Have you? Is it cute? Are you seriously so tethered to him that you've been unconsciously changing to match him?
Sae puts his phone down at your confusion. "Should I give you a birthday if you're going to grow up?"
You don't know what a birthday is. When he tries to explain it, you're even more perplexed. Ghosts don't have birthdays. They have... deathdays.
He puts a cake in front of you anyways and lets you blow out the candles.
Tumblr media
Sae is 17 years old when he gets the eviction notice.
Four years. Four long, hard, unbelievably painful years later, and he's finally being kicked out of his house.
13 year old Sae would have celebrated. All he feels now is despair.
He doesn't tell you. He can't. How can he explain that he won't wake up every morning at 6am sharp to make you eggs? That you won't have someone around who will tell you every little thing that's changed about you from the last day? That you won't be able to doodle him little incomprehensible blobs with dry rice anymore?
He shouldn't care so much. You're not chained to this Earth. You might just disappear once he leaves, inperceptable to anyone else. The thought makes him so sick that he throws up that night. He tells you he ate some bad food.
Sae doesn't want you to feel sad or lonely, but it's not like he can just become a squatter in this place. His dream is to play football, not be thrown into jail.
You wake up one morning, and he's gone.
There isn't a note. There isn't an explanation anywhere to be found. There isn't even a trace of evidence that Itoshi Sae ever lived here.
Well, except for the plate of eggs and bowl of rice sitting on the stove.
Tumblr media
You thought you would have been used to being alone by now. For some time, you were used to it. But that was many years ago.
You're not sure how long you've been haunting this apartment in Madrid, nor do you know how much time passes after Sae leaves. The world seems to come to a halt, actually. Without him, what fun is being a ghost?
Now you're just a lost soul like all the others. There isn't anything special about you. You're just the ghost that used to haunt Itoshi Sae and wake him up from his naps.
For the first time in years, you only know one thing. A singular fact that keeps you bound to this world: it's your duty to haunt this home. There is nothing else.
No one moves in after Sae leaves. No one new comes to be haunted. No one dares to set foot into this apartment. You remember that there were moments when life flickered inside of you, if even for just a fraction of your infinite time. The reason for that has abandoned you without explanation.
There's a knock on the door one day. You can't open it, and the person outside doesn't bother sticking around to see you phasing through the door to look around.
There's a birthday cake on the floor with candles that say '19' sticking out of it.
Only one human in the entire world would have deemed today to be your 19th birthday. He's nowhere to be seen.
Tumblr media
He moves back to Japan on his 21st birthday. Sae is having trouble remembering what you look like, despite seeing you in his dreams every night.
It's a terrible realization. So terrible that it makes him sob into his pillow at night when no one in the world is awake to hear his anguish.
Japan is lonelier than Madrid. He never thought it would happen, and he blames you entirely.
He doesn't have anyone waiting for him when he opens the door to his luxury penthouse apartment. He only washes one plate in the morning. He wakes up from his midday naps undisturbed and rested.
Sae misses you deeply. And he can't help but wonder if you feel the same.
Tumblr media
(You don't know what the yearning ache inside of you is. You don't know what to call it.
You miss him, too. You just can't put a name to the feeling.)
Tumblr media
He doesn't stop seeing you in wisps; little blurs in his peripheral that make his head turn fast as lightning. Wherever he looks, you're gone.
It's not fair that you're a ghost who both literally and figuratively haunts him. He'd like to move on in life and forget about those 4 miserable years he spent living in that damned apartment.
He can't. Sae is incapable of moving on from that place. The irony of it is that you actually can't move on from that place, for some reason.
He would give anything to have you haunting him again. It doesn't matter where in the world the two of you are, if you were together everything would be okay. He's impossibly lonely without you.
Tumblr media
You start to think that you're the selfish one.
The idea of leaving this terrible apartment in Madrid scares you to your very core— whatever soul is resting in your incorporeal body. It's not fair to place the blame entirely on Sae. Not when you're too wimpy to leave this place and find him.
Death is lonely without him.
One step forward, one day at a time. It's the advice Sae used to mutter to himself while getting ready in the morning.
One step forward, one day at a time. One step forward, one day at a time. And day by day, you're slowly inching closer to the door.
Tumblr media
Sae talks to Rin and all he can think about is your confused smiles and head tilts. He talks to his parents and all he can imagine is how cold the room would be if it were you. He talks to his fucking therapist and thinks that all of her shitty advice can't compare to your quiet understanding— that your tears of solidarity are the only thing that could make him feel better.
It's fucked up, really, that he can't move on. His body is in Japan going through the motions: playing football, being famous, being interviewed and going home to nothing. His heart is in Madrid. You took it with you and refuse to let go.
You're the closest thing to love he's ever felt, perhaps— his only friend in Spain. His only reason not to leave. A ghost from his childhood that protected him in his sleep and ate bland eggs for breakfast across the table from him every morning. A ghost that would sit on the floor and wait for him to come home every day. A ghost that kept him company when he had no one else.
He loves you. He doesn't. He needs you. He doesn't. He misses you. He doesn't. Whatever. What does it matter now?
Tumblr media
"So playing football has always been your dream?"
Sae stares blankly at the interviewer. He's reminded of a distant conversation: he is laying in bed looking at a ghost with a lump in his throat, and then he makes his first and only friend in Spain.
"Yes."
"And now that you're back in Japan, will you be playing for the national team?"
"I have no interest in playing on such a weak team." In other words, he has no reason to stay in Japan.
"So where will you go?"
Anywhere but here, he wants to say. In reality, he doesn't know where to go anymore if not to his old apartment in Spain. He just knows that he wants to come home to your sleepy face.
(That night, he makes two bowls of rice. He cries like he's 15 years old again and just ruined his relationship with his brother.)
Tumblr media
You've never been outside before.
You've heard about it, almost entirely from Sae but also from little snippets of anime he liked to watch. It's brighter than you imagined it to be, and warmer. You're not sure you've ever felt so warm before— it's hard to when you are a walking freezer.
There isn't anyone to tell you where to go. No one pays you any mind. You wonder if you even exist anymore outside of the small confines of that old apartment.
Something tells you that you do.
You don't know where to start looking. He could be all the way across the globe for all you know, though he did used to talk about his home country.
You have no map. You have no sense of direction. You have no one to ask for help. 
All you have is the soul caged within your ghostly body tugging in one direction, and wispy feet dragging your body along in response.
Tumblr media
Sae is 23 years old when he finally signs the contract to play for Japan, after months of being pestered by Rin about it.
His relationship with his brother is complicated. On one hand, he feels as though Rin will never truly forgive him for what he did when he was 15. On the other, he looks so ecstatic to be playing football together again that Sae wonders if their discourse was imaginary.
Japan is just a smidge less lonely with Rin in his life.
He wants to tell you all about it. That everything worked out and it's fine now. That you can stop weeping for him and to wipe up the tears that fall into nothing.
He counts the distance between you. Fourteen thousand kilometres separate him from telling you how he's living his new dream: playing football with his little brother again.
Fourteen thousand kilometers, ten years of needing you, and a reminder set on his phone to buy you a birthday cake again this year.
His heart aches.
Tumblr media
Japan is loud and busy and everyone is always in a hurry to get places.
You have to wonder if Sae really grew up in a city like this, and how he turned out so calm and unmovable. The street names are all in Kanji you can't read, but your soul tells you that you're going the right way, anyways.
There's a crowd gathering when your feet finally come to a halt. Lights flash and there are fancy looking people with microphones clamouring toward the center.
It's only a fraction of a second that your eyes meet, and then someone shoves him into the back of the car and they drive off.
He must be famous here, too.
Tumblr media
Sae is 24 years old tossing and turning in his bed, wondering if you were just a figment of his imagination or if you were truly standing there under a streetlamp watching him.
It wouldn't be the first time he dreamed you into existence; on some occasions you feel so real that he nearly reaches out to attempt to pat your head, like he always used to do when he was younger.
He goes back to that spot a couple hours later. The crowd is long gone and it's the dead of night— no one would be around to witness Itoshi Sae looking psychotic.
He doesn't find you in that spot. Instead, you're two blocks down and crouched in front of the window of a 24 hour shop. There's an ad for sparklers, and though you can't read the poster itself, the picture makes you stare with wide eyes.
He crouches down beside you as if 7 years of distance never existed between you.
"Do you want one?" He asks. You look at him in a strange way and his knees grow weak beneath him. You nod.
He comes out five minutes later with a few packs in his hand, walking away from you down the street to the park. You follow him quietly as if 7 years of distance never existed between you.
Sae holds one out, flicks the lighter in his pocket open and ignites the first sparkler. You watch it in fascination, ghostly form illuminated in warm orange and yellow light.
He smiles at you as if 7 years of distance never existed between you.
When the sparkler dies out, he lights another. And another. And another, until he's gone through all the packets he could afford with the Yen in his wallet right now.
As if 7 years of distance never existed between you, he reaches out to pat your head. His hand falls through you.
Tumblr media
You think Sae's new apartment is pretentious, but it's clean and open and doesn't smell like mildew.
It's hard to imagine what kind of purpose you had before him— all your memories are flooded with his hands and eyes and bangs and small smiles reserved for you. You think that the only reason you were ever materialized into the mortal plane was to haunt him, and only him. Itoshi Sae's permanent looming presence.
He doesn't seem to mind. In fact, you've noticed he's been smiling more lately since you started waiting for him to come home by the door.
Tumblr media
Sae is 25 years old when you fall asleep beside him in his bed.
You don't care that he's a kicker or a blanket hog in his sleep. It's not like either of those would affect you. He watches your sleeping face carefully, waiting to see if he would ever wake up from this blissful dream and be alone again.
But every time he wakes up, there you are.
You've grown since he left you in Madrid— you don't look like some lost little kid anymore, at least. He wonders if your souls are truly so intertwined that you would change alongside him, regardless of the distance.
Your eyes flutter open and his breath catches in his throat. You blink at him slowly in the pale moonlight, brows furrowed.
You point at him. Then yourself.
You. Me.
He nods in understanding.
Tumblr media
When he drops a plate of protein pancakes in front of you for breakfast, you look confused.
"Oh, sorry. Do you want rice?"
You shake your head. You don't care what's for breakfast, as long as you're sitting across from him while he eats it.
Tumblr media
"I'm going to be the world's best midfielder," he tells you one day. You're on the floor and he's on the couch, and it's like time had never even passed.
You don't know what that means, but it's his dream so it must be important. The most important thing in the world.
What you don't know is that it's not his entire dream. World's best midfielder doesn't mean a thing if he can't come home to tell you all about it.
Tumblr media
You are dead.
You're a ghost haunting Itoshi Sae— one that followed him from Madrid all the way to Japan. You don't remember how, or when, or why you died. You can't remember what your face looks like either, no matter how much Sae tries to describe it to you. 
You are dead. You're a ghost knocking over Sae's belongings to get his attention when you want it. You're the ghost curled up in bed with him even though he has to wear two layers to stay warm because of it. You're the ghost watching him rotate through different breakfasts that he says could never compare to a good old warm bowl of rice.
You are a ghost, and Itoshi Sae gave you a name. A birthday. A purpose greater than being a loud nuisance.
You are a ghost who likes to watch him light sparklers on his balcony. Who feels the things described only in the books he reads to you. Who learned to love somewhere along the way.
You are dead, and somehow alive at the same time.
(One day, Sae will be brave. One day, he will tell you he loves you. One day, he will thank you for waiting for him at the door when he comes home.)
Tumblr media
© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.
517 notes · View notes
coveredinsweetpea · 2 years
Text
hiding [eddie munson x reader]
Tumblr media
A/n: this is the first thing I've written in MONTHS so don't @ me!!! Idk where this came from, but this man brought me my inspiration back!!
Summary: Eddie sneaks in through your window while your parents are still home. Stuff happens. (SMUT-ish) 2.1k
Warnings: nothing major really. unprotected sex, a little bit of name calling, the risk of getting caught... it's a chill one :)
-
Over the sound of the water hitting the shower floor, you heard the door open, and sighed. "Jesus Christ, can't you kno- Eddie!?"
With a little devious smile on his pretty lips, he slipped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him without a sound, "Hi, baby"
"How did you get in here?" you asked, slightly enraged but still amused. You were still hidden behind the curtain, with only your head peeking out.
"Through your bedroom window, obviously"
"You can't do this, Eddie, my parents are at home!"
"You think I don't know that?" he shrugged, checking himself out in the foggy mirror. "I would've used the front door otherwise, you made me a key, remember?"
"For emergencies!"
"This is an emergency" Eddie grinned, gently tugging at the shower curtain, "I missed you"
"You're such an idiot, Eddie, if my-"
A swift knock on the door interrupted you. "Y/n?"
"Mom!?"
Your heart nearly stopped as Eddie's eyes threatened to fall out of the orbits.
"Honey, I need that hand lotion we got last week"
"Yeah, I think it's in my room" you lied, looking straight at the little container as it sat peacefully on the edge of the sink.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's in here. I saw it this morning"
"Wait! I'll give it to you in a minute"
"I can get it" she said, and time nearly stopped as you saw the door knob starting to turn.
Before you could even register what was going on, Eddie had jumped inside the bathtub. He was fully clothed, muddy boots included, standing one head taller than you as water poured down his head and body. 
You both just stood there, frozen, looking at one another and trying not to burst into laughter.
"Hun, me and dad are gonna go out tonight for a bit, ok?"
"Great, have fun!"
"And your brother is sleeping over at Tom's house, so you'll be on your own"
"That's ok" you said in hopes that she'd be done faster. 
Hearing your mother's words, Eddie was barely able to contain himself. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips to your ear. "Think of all the rooms I'm gonna fuck you in"
You didn't even get a chance to react before your mum continued speaking. "You know, this would've been a great opportunity for you to have a boy over"
"Mom!"
"What?" she exclaimed, trying to sound offended. "It's been a year, it's time you got over Steve, baby"
At this point, you didn't even dare look in Eddie's direction. "I am over Steve, mom, remember? I broke up with him"
"That's my girl" Eddie whispered, playing with a strand of your wet hair.
"I still don't understand why you did that, he was perfect for you" your mother continued.
"Yeah, yeah, maybe he was. I don't know, I don't care, I didn't like him like that anymore, now can you let me shower?"
"How about Jason? I met his mother at the grocery store, she seems like an amazing woman"
At that point, you thanked the lord for the shitty pipes and the loud water stream, because otherwise, your mother would've definitely heard the gagging noises Eddie made, and the little yelp he let out when you elbowed him in the stomach.
"I hate Jason, can you leave now? Please?"
"I just feel like you're missing out on things, honey. Before you know it you'll be on your own, working everyday, I don't want you to let these beautiful times pass by, that's all"
"Yes, mum, you're right. But how about we talk about this tomorrow, huh? We'll go out for a coffee or something"
"Sure, hun, whatever you say" she mumbled and then you heard her grab the knob. But the door didn't open. "Promise me you won't spend all night doing homework, ok? You spent more time at the library these past few weeks than I did throughout college"
You saw Eddie grin, and bend down to whisper to you, "Is that what you tell your parents when you come over?"
"Yeah, mhm" you answered them both. "No homework, I promise"
"Ok, baby. I left some money on your desk, order some food, ok? Mama loves you, bye baby!"
"Bye mom!"
"Jesus Christ!" Eddie exclaimed as soon as your mother had left the room. He pushed his wet hair back from his face, and started undressing himself. First, his beloved jean vest, then the leather jacket, the not-so-muddy-anymore boots and then his jeans.
"Eddie, I'm sorry to do this, baby, there's no way we're fucking in the shower"
It was like his whole world crashed on top of him. "What do you mean? Why not?"
"If you think I could get turned on right now, especially in this shower, after the discussion I had with my mom, you're mistaken"
"I bet I can change that," he grinned. 
"Not a chance, Eddie" you laughed, and pushed the curtain away. You were one foot out of the bathtub when he grabbed your waist and dragged you back in. "Eddie!"
"I just showered at home, I didn't get undressed for nothing, do you have any idea how difficult it is to put on wet jeans?"
"Jesus Christ, Eddie" 
"I'll have you screaming that" he chuckled, pinning you against the cold, marble wall. His lips immediately found yours, and as his tongue pushed inside your mouth, his feet parted your legs. 
"Eddie, no" you giggled, nudging him away.
"We're already here, we're already naked, I'm already hard. I don't see what's stopping us?"
"That's all it takes, huh? For you to be hard?"
Eddie raised an eyebrow, and without even a flinch, he pushed his middle finger inside your pussy, and the simple fact that it slipped right in proved his point. 
"Any arguments left?" he grinned, and pushed one more finger inside you.
You let your head fall forward to stifle your moans into his shoulder, as he kept a very steady pace against your core. 
"I hate you"
"Hate fucking isn't my forte, sweetheart, but we can work something out"
After that, Eddie didn't waste too much time working you up anymore. And he didn't really have to. He gave his cock a few pumps and aligned himself at your entrance, pushing his whole length in with one swift motion. 
A rather loud moan broke past your lips, but with the shower still running, you didn't bother to keep quiet. He did shush you however, in-between the kisses he peppered along the side of your neck. 
His thrusts were slow but deep, moving your body up and down against the wall as you held on to his shoulders. His fingers were digging holes into your hips, as a way to let out the pressure that was building inside of him. Eddie, unlike you, still tried to keep quiet.
"Fuck, ok, ok-" you panted, raking your nails across his scalp before grabbing hold of his roots, "Faster, please, go faster"
As if he didn't want to. The fact that he had been rock hard ever since he had climbed in through your window didn't help with pacing at all. Ever since he entered you, he was on the edge of bliss, but hell if he wasn't gonna have you come first. 
"Look at me, look at me, sweetheart" Eddie whispered, pulling away from you. Your eyes locked just as he picked up his pace, just slightly. 
You nodded yes, eyes ready to roll back when he brought his hand between your bodies and started rubbing at your clit. 
"Look into my eyes, baby, come on. Don't be like this"
"Yeah, fuck" you moaned, swallowed thickly and forced your head upright. 
His thumb worked you hard and fast, in a pattern he already knew so well. It took him about two weeks to learn what your body loved and craved, and he had been using it against you ever since. 
"Come on my cock, yeah? Come on, baby, I'm right here, let yourself go. That's my good girl, show me how good I can fuck you" 
And his whole plan would've worked. He knew what set you off, and only needed a few more moments in order to have you screaming his name. But another knock on the door interrupted him.
"Y/n, honey?" your mother's voice rang through the bathroom.
"Fuck-" you whispered, tears welled up in your eyes. "Yeah?"
"We're leaving, alright?"
"Ok, bye, mom!"
"Bye, hun!"
As soon as she left, both you and Eddie relaxed, not having moved one muscle ever since the knock. You expected him to pick up where he left off, but instead he didn't, he just watched you, his cock still buried deep inside your pussy. 
"What?"
Eddie licked his lips. "You little whore"
Your eyes widened in surprise, but the little smile that curled the corners of your lips betrayed your true emotions.
"What?"
Without any warning, Eddie pulled out and let you down. You were about to protest and cling to him like you always did when you wanted something, but he was faster. 
He spun you around to face the wall, and pressed himself against your back. "Think I didn't feel the way you clenched around my cock? Getting caught fucking the outcast made you like that? Hm?"
"Eddie!" you whined, trying to arch yourself back against his cock.
"I think you love the fact that your mom hates me. Don't you?"
He pressed his cock at your entrance and leaned closer to your ear. "Is that why you came and basically jumped me a few days ago at rehearsals? When I had to fuck you in the bathroom twice before you finally calmed down? Wasn't that just right after that article came out? Where everyone trash talked me? Accused me and my friends of all those horrible things?" 
"Fuck- fuck, ok, maybe!"
"Oh, I was wrong about you, sweetheart"
"Eddie!" you cried, "Please!"
"Please, what?" 
"Fuck me, please"
"I don't know..." he teased, and you couldn't take it anymore.
"Eddie!! Just please, please, just fuck me. I'm begging you, please"
"That's my good girl" he chuckled and kissed the side of your neck. "Was that so hard?"
You barely managed to shake your head before he entered you again. This time however, he didn't waste any more time. Balls deep from the very first thrust, he worked up a pace that had you almost crying out in pleasure in seconds. 
"Fuck, I'm close, Eddie"
"I know you are, baby" he said and wrapped his fingers in your hair. He pulled you up against your chest and held you tight as he continued to ram his cock into you. "Come for me, doll, come on"
And you did. Moments after, the orgasm washed over you like never before. Your body trembled and you felt exhausted, but he held you up, fucking himself into you until he was finished too. 
"Fuck-" Eddie breathed out, letting his weight fall against the wall right beside you. 
Suddenly feeling empty without him so tightly wrapped around your body, you pushed yourself up and moved over to lean against his chest as his cum leaked down your thighs.
With the remaining bits of energy inside his body, Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed the top of your head.
"I love you," you said.
"I love you, sweetheart"
Knowing very well this was only the beginning of a very long night, you and Eddie soon left the shower and headed downstairs to order food. You settled on a monstrous pizza with a little bit of everything before going into the kitchen to make some drinks. 
"You know what you said about my mom, about how I like the fact that she hates you?"
"Mhm" Eddie nodded as he poured vodka into your cup.
"You're right"
"Of course I am," he chuckled. "When have I ever been wrong?"
"I mean it! I wanna tell her about us!"
"I obviously don't wanna cause you any problems, doll, but I'm all for that"
"I'm gonna do it tomorrow, I'm done hiding you, I want everyone to know we're together"
With a ridiculously big smile on his lips, Eddie walked over to you, "You have no idea how happy that makes me"
"Hiding was fun though"
"I can think of stuff," Eddie laughed.
Like every time you hung out with Eddie, time flew right by. Before you knew it, the pizza had arrived and the drinks weren't even ready yet.
"I'll go get it, '' Eddie announced and sprinted out of the kitchen. 
You couldn't help but laugh at yourself, thinking of him wearing only his wet pair of underwear and your Pink Floyd t-shirt that didn't even get close to his ass as he opened the door.
"Um, Y/n?" Eddie yelled from the front door.
"Yeah?" you asked as you jogged over.
"I don't think you're gonna have to wait until tomorrow to tell your mom about us" he said just as your eyes landed on your half naked boyfriend who was standing next to your very pissed off mother.
"Fuck"
3K notes · View notes
grayson1996 · 17 days
Text
Just a little ficlet I thought up! ***
“I miss my mom.”
The admission was quiet, but Dick saw Jason’s head snap up from his phone, gaze indiscernible as he surveyed Dick. Probably trying to figure out what brought the confession on.
“Ok.” Jason said it like a statement, but Dick could hear the question in it.
“I miss how warm her body felt when she hugged me. I miss being able to bury my head into her stomach and breathe her in…. I miss breathing her in. I miss having a mom and knowing what it’s like to be loved by someone unconditionally. I miss growing and having her there to notice.” Dick got quiet a moment, a little unsure if he should continue sharing, but he felt the need to anyway. “Sometimes I miss being the youngest. My cousin was a few years older than me, all my friends at the circus were. Hell, even the Titans were. I miss being the one cared for. You know?”
Dick saw Jason set down his phone and turn to face Dick head on. After a moment Dick turned as well and matched his brother’s gaze. The confusion that was there making way to understanding.
“Yeah. I know what you mean.”
Dick felt himself relax slightly at the reassurance, closing his eyes he sunk deeper into his living room couch that the two were currently occupying.
“I miss wearing clothes that weren’t replaced as soon as they got holes. And I miss dishes made with cumin and cinnamon. And I miss my dad. God, I miss him so much. He was so calm Jay, he always smiled, he always knew that things were going to be ok, you know? He sang all the time, and no one sings here.” Dick felt his throat close at the realization, not even realizing all this was weighing on his heart until he let himself feel it. “No one sings here, and sometimes I forget about all them. It’s like my life is on auto-pilot and I just don’t think about it. But then I remember and it’s like my body is ripping itself open from the grief and I can’t... I can’t- just”.
Jason shifted in his seat, pulling Dick toward him as he started to get worked up. Breathes coming out quicker than intended. Dick let himself be manhandled into an awkward sideways hug. Unsure of where all this was coming from. For a moment it was quiet as Jason held him until his younger brother let out a heavy breath.
“Sometimes I miss my old apartment. Stupid, you know? The place was filled with water damage and mold and my Ma and I shared a shitty lumpy 20 year old mattress that should have been torched years ago…. But it still was mine, and now it’s gone.” Dick felt Jason shrug, arms still wrapped around him.  “I think what people forget is, that to be human is to find the good memories in bad. It’s how we go on. That’s why everyone says grief is a gift, it means you loved someone so much that you get to miss them.”
“That’s stupid.” Dick muttered defiantly, grinning slightly when Jason laughed. “Grief isn’t a gift, it’s the cost of getting to love.”
“Careful Dickie, your dangerously close to sounding cynical and that’s my shtick.”
“I didn’t say it was a cost I was unwilling to pay.” Dick pulled himself back, leaning onto the side of the couch to face Jason once more. “I just wish I had more time to save up before I had to cash in.”
 Jason nodded, leaning back himself, though still watching Dick with a careful eye.
“You don’t talk about this often.” Another statement, one Dick knew to be true. He never talked about his parents, not since his current family started to grow.
“Bruce never talked about his parents, for awhile I think I thought grief was locking away memories until they faded into existence. When I realized that wasn’t the case you guys were here and I didn’t want to bring them up in case you felt like… I don’t know… I didn’t love the family I had now?”
Jason stared at him dumbly for a moment.
“That’s the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever said Goldie and that’s including the time you tried to convince Wally, B was a vampire.” Dick snorted at the memory, which Jason smiled at. “Remembering what you lost doesn’t negate what you have, and the adage that time heals all wounds is misconstruing. It doesn’t mean the injury stops hurting, hell your fucked up knee acts up every time it so much as showers. Just because something isn’t actively gushing blood doesn’t mean its fine, doesn’t mean you don’t still need to take care of it.”
Dick let out a heavy breath, he had forgotten how intuitive Jason could be.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“Course I’m right, I’m the only one of you fuckers who consistently reads books without pictures in it.”
Dick pushed him roughly but without any heat, dodging the pillow Jason tried to lob at his face in retaliation. For a moment the two tussled, feeling younger than they had in a while. Only stopping when a wayward elbow sent Dick’s lamp thudding to the floor. Slightly out of breath Dick nudged Jason with his foot, the joviality making way for genuineness.
“Thank you. For letting me talk about them.”
Jason gave him a small smile, one without the useful veneer of snark.
“Anytime.”
78 notes · View notes
kpop---scenarios · 2 months
Text
Hidden Lies (1)
Tumblr media
Pairing: Unknown x Reader
Warning: Violence, Crime, Almost Assault
Word Count: 4.9k
A/N: This is a remake of Poisonous Lies. Some parts may be familiar, and that would be why. I hope you enjoy!! Let me know who you think she'll connect more with!
This morning you woke up, listening to the sounds of birds chirping, the sun shining through your window, and feeling like it was going to be a great day. 
“YN.” Your mom yells. It was too early and you were trying to wake up peacefully. “Y/N!” She calls out again, but this time it's more of a screech. 
You groan loudly, folding your pillow over your ears, wanting to enjoy a little bit of time without her yelling at you. The sound of her shrieking voice was coming closer every second, until it was practically right in your ear. 
Your eyes are still closed as you feel your blanket being ripped off your body, your mom cursing at you. 
“Wake the fuck up!” She yells. “Don't you hear me yelling for you? I have shit to do, I cannot keep waking you up in the mornings! damn, you're going to make us both late” 
You were 22 years old and you still live with your mother. This life you had was sad, although it was your fault. This technically was your choice. You had decided to drop out of school and go home to help your mom out after your dad was sentenced to 10 years in prison for a lengthy list of crimes, although well it wasn't his fault, it also was at the same time. 
Your father had lost his job, and instead of telling your mother and them trying to figure it out, he went and got a loan from some people involved in crime that he most definitely should have not gone to. He didn't think about the fact that he would have had to pay that money back, plus interest. And when the time came for them to collect he didn't have it. So he was recruited for odd jobs until he had paid everything back, he didn't get very far though. His last job ended up being a sting operation and he was charged with trafficking drugs, intent to sell, attempted kidnapping, attempted human trafficking and a few other things. He wouldn't tell them why he did it, he didn't want things to get any worse, even though you weren't sure if they could or not. It wasn't his finest moment, he was trying to help his family even if it was the worst way possible. He was a good man and a good dad. Your father was a man who would do anything for his family, especially to protect them, and that’s exactly why he did what he did and now he was suffering the consequences of his own actions. 
“I swear to god, YN.” Your mom yells as she grabs your arm, trying to pull you out of bed. “If you don't get your ass up in the next 30 seconds, I'm going to lose my mind! Your train leaves in 45 minutes and if you dont get ready and leave in 10 minutes then you're not going to be able to see your dad.” She sighs. “It’s his birthday, remember.”
Shit. You quickly bolt up in bed, scrambling to get out of your bed. You were rushing around your room grabbing whatever looked the cleanest on your floor before heading to your bathroom, slamming the door in the process. 
Your mom sighs loudly before she leaves your room so you can rush around and get ready. You knew it was hard for her, not having your dad around, and you were sometimes difficult but you were trying. You felt guilty, especially since she wasn't able to go on the visit today, her shitty boss wouldn't let her have the time off. It had only been a year since he’d been locked up and you, mom and your brother had faced some very hard times. The three of you have been barely surviving paying the bills, mortgage, car, gas, groceries as well as trying to pay back your dad's loan in cash, rather than jobs similar to what your dad did.
Your mom was working 2 jobs, you and your brother both working full time, and all your money went towards everything needing to be paid, rarely leaving you much of anything left over but the three of you made it work, you always figured it out. You would do whatever you needed to do. 
You're running down the stairs, trying to put your hair into a semi decent bun and forfeiting any makeup. 
“You ready?” Your mom asks, car keys in her hand. 
“Yeah, just let me grab my bag.” you breathe. You run into the kitchen, snatching your purse from the counter before you head back to the front door that's left wide open. You roll your eyes heading out the door, closing it behind you before sliding into the passenger seat of the car the three of you shared. 
Your mom doesn't say a word to you on the ride to the train station. You hold your train ticket in your hand as she pulls in front of the station. “Please tell him happy birthday from me and that I love him.” she whispers as you're getting out of the car. 
You give her a half smile. “I will mom.” You say, getting out of the car and closing the door. It doesn't take you long to navigate your way through the station, you’ve been making this trip a few times a month. You tried to see him as much as you could but between work, work and work, you never had a ton of time. You picked a seat on the train, setting your bag down in the seat beside you. You just made it on time, seconds later you were on your way and you couldn't wait to see your dad. 
You stood in line, waiting to have your bag checked and to go through the x-ray machine. When that was all clear you headed to the front desk, showing your ID and filling out paperwork before you could even go into the room and wait for him. You sit down, your stomach is twisting with nerves. You weren't sure why, this was like any other visit you had been on. 
“LN, YN.” You hear. “You can head in now.” the guard finishes, pointing towards a visitation room. The door buzzes open and you see your dad immediately, sitting in the back, in the middle of the room. His fingers were locked together with his head down. It felt like it had been forever since you had last seen him. “Dad.” you sniffle and his head shoots up, a smile spreads across his face so quickly as he stands up from his chair. You walk towards him, his arms are wide open, waiting to embrace you. You crash into his chest, wrapping your arms around him as he does you, holding you tightly. You missed his hugs, and the safeness you felt from him. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt safe.
You both let go, tears brimming in your eyes as you both sit down across from each other. 
“Happy birthday dad.” you smile. He reaches out to grab your hand, whispering a small thank you while his head hangs low. “Mom also wishes you a happy birthday, and she says that she loves you.” You tell him, but you knew he already knew that. 
“I know,” he smiles. “I'm assuming that she had to work today?” he asks. 
You nod your head. 
“She tried to get the time off but you know Dave, he’s a dick and wouldn't even let her have the morning off.” you tell him.
But again, you knew he already knew that. Dave and your dad had been friends for years, but after your dad was sentenced the man acted as if he never knew him and was never friends with him. Your eyes wander around the room, as if anything would be different since the last time you were here. Your dad begins telling you a story, something funny that had happened the other day. You were listening, but you couldn't help but let your eyes wander.
You looked out into the common room, as you were scanning the room, your eyes landed on someone. A man, a very handsome dark haired, angry looking man staring directly at you. You tried to look away from him, but it's like you were locked in with him. He was so captivating you honestly didn't even want to look away, but you do, not before he smiles at you slightly, giving you a small wink. 
You’re brought out of your trance by your dad clearing his throat before continuing on with his story. You catch the end of it, laughing along with him even though you didn't really hear the rest of it. “Tell me about everything. What’s going on with you? How is your brother?” he asks. Before you can answer the lights of the prison flicker, the alarm blares as the red siren lights up the room on beat with the alarms. 
“What’s happening?” you yell over the loud sounds. You were feeling a little panicked but before your dad could say anything you both hear yelling. You looked at the commotion in the common room, which was only separated from the visiting room by one large metal door. You glanced around, seeing the other visitors watching what was happening but no one was reacting to anything. 
“I'm sure the guards will get it sorted, fights break out all the time. No need to worry.” Your dad tells you, trying to reassure you. 
You couldn't help but worry. You watched as more and more fights were beginning to break out between prisoners, prisoners and guards. You watched in horror, as the prisoners seemingly took the guards down more easily then they should have been able too. Your eyes were darting to every window that you could see and watched guard after guard collapse, inmates grabbing the guns or batons, a cluster of inmates slamming guards into the windows, shaking what is supposed to be bullet proof glass. 
Seconds later a fight in the visiting room breaks out after an inmate bashes a guard's head against the table. You're panicking now, other visitors are screaming, leaving their tables trying to escape, some pounding on the door, begging the guards to let them out.
The inmates from the common room begin trying to shoot the windows, or trying to pry open the doors into the visiting room. 
The doors were buzzed open letting the guards from the front now rush in from one side to try and calm the situation but instead they let the inmates rush through the other doors into the room where you and your dad were. He had taken you to the corner of the room, standing in front of you to protect you. You peek out from behind him, the two of you watching in horror as blood and tears are spilled, the cries and pleas from visitors are yelled out as the inmates attack anyone in their way, including those who were just trying to visit their loved ones. 
Your heart is pounding so loud, you can hear it in your ears. You feel weak, light headed. Your adrenaline hasn't kicked in yet. Your stomach is churning at all of the blood. Your father grabs your hand pulling you with him through another open door, and hopefully to safety. As soon as the two of you make it into another room, you're confronted by three large men. 
“Look.” Your dad begins. “We don't want any trouble. I'm just trying to keep my daughter safe.”
The man in front smiles, but even his smile is terrifying. 
“What a good dad you are. But don't worry.” He says. “We'll take her from here. I'll personally keep her safe.” He finishes, licking his lips. 
“No thank you.” your dad says. “We're just going to go.” You grip onto your dads orange jumpsuit. 
“Dad.” You whisper. He can hear the fear in your voice. 
He runs forward, punching the man, pushing him into the two men behind him. “Run YN! Run!” He screams as the men grab him, taking him elsewhere. You try to run for the door but you're grabbed, pulled back and pushed against the wall. The man who had been talking to your father stood inches from your face. You could see the evil in his eyes as he eyed you up. You can feel his breath on your neck as he moves closer towards you.
You look both ways, trying to find your way to escape. There's only one other door besides the one you came through and you're pretty sure it's locked. Fear jolts through your body as you try and think of anything you could possibly say or do to get yourself out of this situation but you know that there is nothing you can do, except try and fight. 
“Get away from me!” you yell, putting your hands on his chest and pushing as hard as you can. 
"Don't fucking do that.” He snaps, shoving you against the wall. He raises his hand as he gets closer to you, his finger tracing your face. You squeeze your eyes shut, tears rolling down your cheeks and you let out a scream, as loud as you could. You switched between yelling "help me." And screaming, hoping someone would come for you. 
The man slaps his hand over your mouth, angrily. "Why would you do that, don't you like me?" He asks. "It's been a long fucking time since we've been this close to a woman." He chuckles. You can feel his body pressing against you. You try to focus on anything else, but all you can hear is the sound of him breathing and the screams and cries of the ones caught in the riot. 
Just as you were about to give up, you feel a release. You can no longer feel his body pressing against you, you can hear yelling much closer. You open your eyes and see a dark haired man, and a familiar other dark haired man pulling the men away from you. Within seconds the man who wanted to attack you was down on the floor, and the two men who saved you grabbed your hands, pulling you out of the room and away from the chaos. 
Where was your dad? Was he okay? 
The three of you ran down a hallway, the alarms are still blaring, you can just barely hear police sirens from outside. 
The two men had no idea where to go, everywhere you looked there was violence, inmates with weapons and minimal guards that were alive. 
"Hey!" You hear from down the hall. You all turn around and see the man that had you pinned against the wall. Anger suddenly fuels you, wondering where your dad was. 
“What did you do to my dad!?” You scream. The man stops walking, a grin spreads across his face. “Don't worry, he's just fine. Now you two.” He says, pointing to the two men who were still holding onto you. “You don't get to take what's not yours.” He frowns. “I want her back.” He yells down the hall. The two men who had taken your father appear behind him. 
“Fuck.” One says. they turn around, pulling you in a different direction. You were turning corner after corner until one of them found an unlocked door. He opens it, quickly pulling you inside before slamming it shut. Your body is shaking, you can't help but sob. You never in a million years expected today to turn out how it has. 
Both the men quickly jump into action, grabbing whatever heavy pieces of furniture they can find to shove against the door. You watch them, still feeling just pure shock. 
"I'm sorry." You whisper. You weren't even entirely sure what you were sorry about but it felt appropriate in the moment. 
They both stop covering the door, staring at you. “Sorry for what?” One asks. 
“I.. I'm not sure. But you're in this mess now because of me.” You sigh. 
“We're in this because we didn't want to see an innocent woman get taken advantage of by some fucked up men. You didn't start it.” He says. 
“What's your name?” The other asks. 
"Y/N." You sniffle. 
“I’m Wooyoung, and this is San.” 
“Nice to meet you both. And thank you. I truly don't know what would have happened if you guys didn't save me.” 
“It's nothing.” San says, giving you a half smile. He could not stop staring at you, just like when you were in the visiting room with your dad and he had caught your eye. 
Before you could say anything back, the knob to the door started to shake. There's pounding at the door, and that's when you hear it. 
“Y/N.” your dad calls. “Y/N please let me in. They're coming.” He cries. “Please.” 
You run to the door, trying your best to move everything they had put against the door. 
“Y/N stop.” Wooyoung yells, trying to pull you away. 
“Please!” You cry. “Please help me. That's my dad, we need to let him in.” 
San and Wooyoung loom at each other. They both know this is a bad idea but knew that there would be no chance of you letting up. 
“Whatever happens?” San says. Wooyoung nods his head. 
“Whatever happens.” 
The two men help you pull the large filing cabinet, desk and other heavy things away from the door. You unlock the deadbolt, ripping the door open, the smile on your face falling immediately. 
“I'm sorry Y/N. I'm so sorry.” He cries. He's pushed inside the room by the three men from before. He trips, falling to the floor with a thud. You wanted to go to him but the man has a gun now and it's pointed directly at you. 
“You two aren't very good at hiding.” He chuckles. 
“Eric, you don't have to do this.” Wooyoung says, his hands up as he inches towards you. 
“Fuck you, Woo. You'd be the fucking same if you were locked in the hole for months at a time.” Eric snaps. “And now I have a chance for something real and you two are trying to ruin it for me.” 
“I'm telling you not to fucking do this.” San snaps. He can see Eric eyeing you up, your dad laying on the floor, one of Eric's men's feet pinning him down. 
“You think I'm gonna listen to you?” Eric laughs. “Just enjoy the show.” He says, grabbing onto Your wrists. Wooyoung and San try to lurch forward but they're stopped by the other two, flashing their knives. Eric pushes you against the wall, pulling you back towards him. He pulls you to the ground, climbing on top of you, straddling you. The gun is still shoved in your face. You say nothing, tears just stream down your face. Your eyes dart in-between San and Wooyoung as you silently plead for one of them to do something. To help you. 
Eric rips open your shirt, exposing your bra. You look away, seeing Wooyoung and San nod towards each other. They both lunge for the men, knocking them down. Your dad scrambles to his feet taking over for San, as he runs for Eric, who was too in his own world with you to hear anything else. San tackles him, causing Eric to let go of the gun, it slides across the floor. Eric scrambles beneath San as he delivers hit after hit. 
“Everybody get on the fucking ground.” You hear. Smoke bombs thrown into the room. Guards in full tactical gear flood inside, guns at the ready. San gets off of Eric, all of them men laying on the floor. “Hands on your head.” They yell. 
You do as you're told. “We have a hostage located.” They go to you first, helping you up. You're coughing loudly as they guide you out of the room, into another one to be treated. They'd finally gotten everything settled down and started getting inmates back into their cells, or medical treatment. 
“You took a fucking hostage, the warden is deciding your punishment.” A guard snaps at Wooyoung and San as they escort them past the room you're in. You push the nurse away, running out of the room. 
“Wait!” You yell. “They didn't take me hostage. They saved me from him.” You say, pointing to Eric. “He tried to.. he tried to...” You cry. “They protected me from him and I'll forever be grateful.” you finish. You walk over to the two handcuffed men, wrapping your arms around both of them, until they're both escorted off. Both of them looking over their shoulders, giving you a smile and a wink. 
Once you were checked out by the nurse and cleared to go, you were led out to the front where your mom was waiting for you. You sobbed into her shoulder as she hugged you tightly, apologizing to you profusely. She grabbed your hand, pulling you out to the car. you look back at the prison as she drives away, silently thanking Wooyoung and San for saving you. You'd have to find some way to properly thank them sometime. 
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Your mom asks. 
“Dad and I were talking when fights broke out. Inmates were attacking guards and other inmates.” You sigh. “They opened the doors to the visitation room to let guards in but inmates rushed in.. one gut I guess had his sights set on me.” 
“Dad protected you right?” Your mom asks. 
“He tried. But there were 3 of them and one of him.. they took him away. And I was alone.” You look over at your mom, she has tears in her eyes as she listens to you. “But then two men rushed in and grabbed me, helped me escape. Took me to a room and barricaded the door.” 
“They didn't hurt you did they?” She whispers. 
“No mom, they didn't. Dad started banging on the door.. they helped me move everything and open the door but the bad guy was there with him, they pushed him in.. the guy tried to.. r..” you pause. Your mom looks horrified. “He didn't. Wooyoung and San tackled him and then the guards came in.” 
“That was extremely lucky that they were there for you.” She sighs. “I'm so sorry baby.” 
“It's not your fault mom. You didn't know that was going to happen.” You say. “No one could have predicted that would happen.” 
The rest of the way you drive home in silence. You really want to just go to bed. Luckily you didn't have to work today so you could do just that. As you walked in the house, your brother Jaehyun rushed to you, hugging you tightly. “I'm so glad you're okay.” He says, squeezes you even harder. 
“I won't be if you squeeze me anymore, you're gonna suffocate me.” You half chuckle, half panic. He lets you go, patting your back before heading back to the living room. 
“Do you want some lunch?” Your mom asks. You raise an eyebrow. You had assumed she would have had to go back to work. 
“Don't you have to go back to work?” You ask. She looks at the ground. 
“Uh, well.. Dave said if I left to go to you, I wouldn't have a job. It's not worth it if he won't let me go to my child who was in the middle of a prison riot. Don't worry, I'll find something else.” She smiles. 
Fuck Dave. You went up to your room, crawled in your bed and quickly fell asleep. The day was exhausting and you were still shook a week later. It was the week after the riot, and you had been answering everyone's questions about what happened, what it was like the guys who saved you. It was the talk of the town still but you were tired of talking about it. You were ready to forget about it now, which is why you agreed so fast when your friend Hwasa asked you to go out that night. There was a newish club that was apparently very exclusive and the two of you wanted in. You got ready in a hurry, doing your makeup and your hair the best you could. You slipped on your favorite club dress as well as shoes and headed for the front door. 
“I'm going out, bye!” You yell, slamming the door behind you. You run down the driveway heading to Hwasa's car. 
The drive to the club is long. When you finally see it, you're mesmerized. It's bigger than you imagined, the bright sign outside reads Ateez. You were so excited. The line was extremely long, and as you walked up to the bouncer he shooed you to the back of the line. It seemed like you were never going to get in. 
After about twenty minutes, you noticed a man staring at you that was walking the line, he walked past you, before backing up to look at you again. 
“L/N Y/N?” He asks, eyeing you up and down. 
“Yes?” You respond, staring at the handsome man. 
“Come with me.” He says, motioning for you and Hwasa to follow him. You and Hwasa look at each other, she shrugs her shoulders, following the man and dragging you along behind. He stops at the bouncer, pointing to you. “L/N Y/N. Add her to the list. VIP.” He finishes, bringing you both inside. What the hell did you do to get this sort of treatment? 
The two of you walk behind the man, following him really without any questions. You pass what looks like the main bar, the dance floor and head up some stairs. The rope is removed from the hook, letting the three of you into the VIP area. 
“You can stay here if you'd like. Your drinks are all on the house, whatever you'd like. If you need anything, my name is Mingi, don't hesitate to ask.” He says. 
“Um, I do have a question.” You say, slightly raising your hand. “How? Um, why? And um what?” You say. 
Mingi chuckles. “You helped my brothers out, by not adding time to their sentences. They both could have gotten a lot more time after that riot. But they didn't, because of you. So from now on, if you are in trouble or need anything, you have 8 men who will happily help you out.” He says. “Well 6 for now, until San and Woo get out.” 
“All I did was tell the truth.” You say.
“There's a lot of women out there who would have lied, knowing who those two are.” He says. 
 “Also, You're related to them?” You ask, ignoring what he said before. You were too busy trying to stop your mouth from hanging down. 
“Well.. in a sense.” He laughs. “Enjoy your night.” He finishes before leaving the room. 
“What the hell!” Hwasa shouts, heading over to your private bar. She orders multiple drinks and shots for each of you to be brought to your table. As you two sit there, listening to the music the DJ is playing, drinking and just having a good time you see five men walk into the room. They stop, staring at you. As they walk over they introduce themselves. 
“Y/N.” One smiles. “I'm Seonghwa, this is Yeosang, Yunho, Jongho and Hongjoong.” He says pointing to each extremely handsome man. 
“Nice to meet you.” You smile back, waving at them all while hiccuping in the process. 
“Thank you for what you did for Woo and San.” Seonghwa says. 
“Like I said to Mingi, I was just telling the truth. I didn't want them to get into trouble for saving me.” You explain. 
“If you need anything, and I mean anything, don't hesitate to call.” He says, sliding you a piece of paper. Written down are 8 phone numbers for you. This was honestly fucking surreal. Who knew this could happen for simply telling the truth? 
The men walk away and Hwasa stares at you in disbelief. “I almost wish it was me that day.” She laughs. “Let's go dance!” She says, trying to pull you up. 
“Let me just tidy these glasses.” You slur, stacking all the cups and shot glasses to bring back to the bartender. He laughs as you place them on the bar, and thanks you through his chuckles. 
You let Hwasa drag you down the stairs to the dance floor, immediately sliding her hands all over your body as you dance closely. The two of you always preferred to dance together, but sometimes if you were into it you'd dance with men.  This time you were too into dancing with Hwasa, you didn't want any men to disturb you. You turned around, grinding your ass into her as you looked around the club. You glanced up at the balcony and saw six men leaning on the railing, all their eyes staring directly at you. Why did you feel like your life was going to get a lot more interesting? 
41 notes · View notes
batmanisagatewaydrug · 7 months
Text
reading updates: october 2023
hi everybody!!! things (by which I mean everything) have been a little bit hectic lately (by which I mean it feels like everything is one fire 100% of the time), which I guess explains why I'm late posting this AND why I only finished four books in all of October.
I would be very sad about this if the number of books I read had any correlation to my value as a person, but luckily it doesn't! so I don't give a shit, I am literally just vibing and trying to have a good time reading my silly little stories. here's a book report about it.
what I've been reading:
The Goblin Emperor (Katherine Addison, 2014) - okay, so picture this: you're the fucking elf king's least favorite son. you're not a bastard, but he didn't love your mom and after she died he basically banished you to a miserable little estate in bumfuck nowhere with no one but your abusive older cousin for company. probably he was going to leave you out there forever and hope that you would die quietly so no one would ever have to remember you existed. (un)fortunately, your shitty dad and all of his male heirs just died in a blimp accident and now you're the emperor. GOOD LUCK. this book is political fantasy of the highest order, with loads of machinations and intrigue and chewy worldbuilding interspersed with genuinely sweet moments between characters as one very good boy befriends his way to power. blah blah empires are inherently evil, obviously yes but this is a made up empire with 0 real consequences and Maia is my little dude. the only way I could love him more would be if he'd just nutted up and kissed his boy secretary on the mouth.
Happy Hour (Marlowe Granados, 2020) - I kept seeing this book enthusiastically as kind of a light fizzy funtime celebrating being young and free and running around New York City with no plans, and man... that was not my experience! Isa and Gala are maybe the most stressful girls I've ever encountered in fiction: perpetually broke and hungry, absolutely lacking in direction or ambition, always ricocheting listlessly from one situation to another in search of a good time and mostly only discovering disappointment, I need these girlies to get their lives together for my sake as a reader. there's one scene in particular where Isa is crashing with some disgustingly wealthy friends at the beach and keeps getting callously dismissed while sweating profusely and trying to figure out how she's going to convince them to keep paying for her food and it was so visceral that I developed a second, worse anxiety disorder because of it. Granados' writing is stylish, to be sure, but drama was not worth it for me.
The Magpie Lord (KJ Charles, 2013) - this historical fantasy romance is quick, dynamic, and horny. I can't actually say that I'm particularly charmed by the quality of the writing, which is there to hurtle you at warp speed between scenes of homoeroticism and bald exposition about magic, but I do admire Charles' panache. the book opens on a rather gruesome scene of our protagonist, Lord Crane, attempting to slit his own wrist; it quickly becomes clear that this isn't because he's genuinely suicidal, but because he's been cursed by persons unknown in an attempt to drive him to ruin. enter Stephen Day, a magic practitioner who hated Crane's deceased father and brother but is determined to help him all the same. some plot happens, but also a lot of flirting and (spoilers) sex that comes with an actual power-up for Stephen due to the wonders of blood magic. a pulpy good-time all around, and short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome.
The Fervor (Alma Katsu, 2022) - The Fervor is a historical horror with a tantalizing premise: in the 1940s, Japanese demons begin to manifest inside of an Idaho internment camp for Japanese-Americans, adding a swirl of the supernatural to a situation that's already rife with mundane horrors. the actual execution is... lacking. Katsu's prose is blunt at best; when I call it "unsubtle" I don't mean the way some racist might mean when they inevitably go on a ramble about how Katsu beats her readers over the head with how racism is bad. racism is bad, duh, and it's hardly unrealistic to emphasize the fear and hatred that dogged the lives of Japanese-Americans during WW2. when I say this book is unsubtle I mean Katsu approaches each chapter like her readers have maybe forgotten everything they read leading up to that moment; you will be reminded frequently of characters' names, relationships, and straightforward motivations. and yet, somehow, the actual plot is still pretty murky. much is hinted at in the protagonist's past in Japan, then never actually elucidated, a main POV character falls clean out of the plot without resolution just before the climax, I still don't know what was up with those goddamn demon spiders. disappointing!
there was also one very specific, GLARING thing in the ending of The Fervor that I did not care for in the slightest, but that's tucked away on my Patreon in the monthly hater post. pay me if you want to hear about some CRAZY copaganda!
20 notes · View notes
stardewsnail · 1 year
Note
hi! can you please write how demetrius would react to maru being obvious in falling for a fem farmer? if you’re not comfortable with characterizing maru, you can do sebastian instead! i know she’s kind of hard to write for 🫶
Hello!
This spiraled into their family dynamic + Demetrius reacting to both options lol…So here are some general hc to get us started bc I love exploring family dynamics. I also have two awesome step (bonus) parents so I wanted to give Demetrius a little more nuance than just shitty step dad y'know? 
I also added in a lot of my own head canons regarding Sebastian bc that's my emo boy lol
Sebastian was immediately distrusting of Demetrius as he is super protective of his mom (when his dad dipped he assigned himself man of the house even though her was like 5 max) 
Demetrius just did NOT know what to do with him and it’s not that he dislikes Seb at all, it's that they can be agreeing and still be arguing 
they have VERY different communication styles. Demetrius figured they would have a better relationship when Sebastian was older but kids remember how they were treated and Demetrius realized too late he hadn’t put in the necessary work to have a good relationship as adults 
Demetrius wasn’t super eager to be a dad until Robin was pregnant with Maru and his entire world shifted and Sebastian noticed (as a small child he’s having very reasonable reactions let’s be clear)
Demetrius was over protective and favored his own daughter for sure but a lot of that had to do with pressuring Sebastian to be a good big brother and take care of Maru 
Ex: the kids are fighting and little sisters scratch so Sebastian pins her to the ground—Sebastian retaliating would FREAK Demetrius out even though Seb definitely didn’t actually hurt Maru and Robin would have to intervene and remind Demetrius to let them be siblings and fight it out (to be honest I just kinda hc Robin as a grown up Wendy from Gravity Falls with all those brothers I think she fears nothing) 
This is especially tough because Maru really wanted a relationship with Sebastian! And he wanted to be a good big brother but they were never really allowed to develop that due to Demetrius’s hovering and supervising their every interaction
They could have been such a dynamic duo and Seb is just as bright as Maru it makes me sad bro 
I think Demetrius doesn’t mean to be as much of a dick as he is but Sebastian never learned how to “speak Demetrius” and vice versa 
Doesn’t mean he’s a great step dad just that his intent is better than what the situation may seem
Maru being obvious about falling for fem!farmer, Demetrius POV
 Demetrius is sweating that’s his baby girl and he isn’t sure about this new farmer
Why did she leave her job in the city? Will she be able to provide for Maru? Will she treat Maru well and respect her? Will she get in the way of her bright future? (His only solace is that nobody is gonna accidentally get pregnant and that makes him much more chill) 
The first thing he notices is that Maru is just missing for hours at a time. He totally doesn’t keep tabs on her but hey, Pelican Town is pretty small and everyone knows everyone’s business 
She says she’s just helping out the farmer with some repairs and optimization, but he’s fairly certain the farmer couldn’t possibly have THAT many sprinklers to repair 
He’s heard Maru gushing to Robin about how sweet the farmer is and how strong she is—and that put him on edge but he figured it was just a harmless crush and Maru was too focused to ever become distracted like that (sure Jan)
Whenever he brings up the new farmer Maru goes pink and changes the topic 
The farmer is also friends with Sebastian, which results in Maru and her brother talking more and hanging out—which Demetrius knows is good but I feel like Sebastian stresses him out since they’re so different and he’s worried, as always, that Sebastian will negatively influence her 
It doesn’t help that the farmer doesn’t seem appropriately intimidated by him either. His whole little speech in the lab is met with an incredulous stare before the farmer bursts out laughing and says she’s not a teenage boy picking up Maru for prom
He has no idea how to respond to that tbh
Thankfully when Maru is back they don’t say anything…at least in front of him. Maru has a talk with him later but that has a good outcome even if he’s a little cowed. Robin was there to back up Maru
He thinks it’s all well and good until both Maru and the Farmer join Sebastian’s Dnd campaign (Maru plays an artificer don’t @ me) he thinks most fantasy/games are a waste of time so he is miffed but it’s not like he can tell Maru she’s not allowed to play (considering she’s over the age of 20) so he just sulks 
I feel like the biggest change other than the relationship with the farmer and Maru is the sibling relationship between Maru and Sebastian 
Maru likes sci-fi and fantasy and she’s finally old enough not to be so influenced by her dad and it turns out the two have a lot of common interests—he helps her with coding and she builds him a little wind up frog and they’re hanging out and she confides in Sebastian that she has a crush on the farmer and his response is just 
“Oh really?? Wow I’m simply shocked hm. Color me surprised. I couldn’t tell from the way you spend every minute of your day with her or talking about her. Tell me again about how they chopped wood soooooo efficiently and you totally weren’t just staring at their biceps—“ he’s cut off when she throws a pillow at him
so he’s been helping her and giving advice and honestly ships it bc the Farmer has been doing the exact same thing (visiting, talking about Maru, asking him about Maru, bringing Maru Little presents and surprises) and he thinks they’d be a good match 
Once farmer and Maru are together the Farmer gets a shovel talk that she very politely sits through trying really hard not to make eye contact with Robin because they’ll both burst out laughing. Maru and Seb are in the room next door with a cup to the wall each 
Sebastian being obvious about falling for fem!farmer, Demetrius POV
Okay this is a totally different vibe for obvious reasons 
To get in more with my hc for Sebastian’s history I think he went to college for a year but dropped out due to mental health and burn out and that’s how he ended up freelancing from the basement 
Demetrius gives me old school vibes of “everyone gets sad sometimes it’s fine” but Robin did threaten to leave him if he wasn’t better about Sebastian being depressed 
So he took a very scientific approach to mental health after that and the benefits of therapy and Sebastian got better and things got better but it’s hard for their relationship recover from esp bc it affected his marriage 
He tries to be helpful and encouraging but it’s very “Humans need x number of hugs per day” and no hugs y’feel? Like “you’ll feel better if you exercise” probably true but not helpful when you’re too depressed to brush your teeth ‘
He is worried about Sebastian and does care about his well being he’s just not good at expressing it and is kinda still trying to tough love him man to man 
Like he wants Sebastian to move out for his own good—“it’s not healthy for a young man his age to live in his moms basement” definitely coming off as a criticism tho like Demetrius choose your words better pls 
So when the pretty new farmer started coming around he was delighted—even if he assumed she was interested in Maru leading to an awkward conversation in the lab—he was actually really excited for Sebastian 
Maru is also friends with the farmer which only makes him think more highly of her because after their discussion he’s realized his daughter is a good judge of character 
Plus she needles Sebastian about it and when he’s snarky and in denial she’s like “Right so I won’t invite you to the Saloon on Friday when I’m meeting her…” 
At some point the teasing from her has them both running through the house yelling like their kids again with Maru booking it and Sebastian giving chase 
Give me sibling interactions I am begging you
Seeing how hard working the farmer was and how dedicated to the town she became, he liked her more and more and thought she could be a really good influence on Sebastian
If Sebastian and the farmer get together he’s very proud of Seb’s progress even if he doesn’t say much 
he has such a proud dad moment like hell yeah my boy got out of the basement look at him go I wasn’t sure he could do it and I was worried about him 
Like nobody wants to live their life in their moms basement y’know and nobody wants that for someone they care about but damn Demetrius could have a worse way of expressing that 
127 notes · View notes
sea-salted-wolverine · 8 months
Text
Do you ever have a moment where a passing recollection from childhood flutters through your brain, and you almost don't consider it until you realized that it was actually really fucking strange? And then you call your mom, and hesitatingly because you don't really trust your six-year-old imagination and memory, describe your version of events and ask for the perspective of someone who was an adult at the time, only to have her offer clarification that is perhaps a dozen times more bat shit than what you thought happened?
I was 6. I might have been 5. Maybe 7. I dont really know. It's not important. My brother is 4 years younger than me and he could walk and had teeth at the time. That is important.
We were regularly going to service at my grandmother's church. There was a children's area/playground/daycare thing that was offered as an alternative for sermons so no one had to deal with the loud fidgety babies. I think, like I said, I don't super trust my recollection.
There was a disagreement. I made someone cry. There was no hitting. We were asked to leave and then only showed up to church again after that on Easters and Christmas.
That's what I remember. Which isn't a huge deal until you think about how badly things had to go for an entire family to get kicked church. Semi permanently. So I asked about it several decades later.
Let it be said that I am an atheist not because I had some grand dramatic break up with God, but because there just was no religion at all in my life, certainly nothing that's stuck. This is why. It is also worth noting that this happened within like a month.
So first, the pastor/the reverend/someone in charge was embezzling money. How? Is that even possible? Fuck if I know. My grandmother did not go to church for the reverence or the religion, she went for the politics. She's the kind of woman who enjoys holding power over other people. She and Pop-pop were at elders at the church and had opinions about the misappropriation of funds. It gives me joy to conceptualize this in the tones of some gritty mafia movie so that's how it's gonna be. There was a titanic covert power struggle over the fiscal health of this suburban community church.
Dad actually did have a dramatic break up with the bad boyfriend that is God. How and where exactly this happened in the timeline is unclear.
Mom and Granny were both in the bell's choir. Singing and music and fun times. Also quite a bit of homophobia. This was the nineties and a different church down the road had announced they were open to having gay weddings. This resulted a fervor of gossip and unchristian remarks about awful degenerates burning in hell. Mom did not appreciate this and managed to create a schism throughout the choir, starting a cold war of dirty looks and sneers. Evidently the music took a turn for the shitty as well. To be clear, This was not a case of activism or allyship. This was a group of people who believed themselves to be superior for not being gay versus a group of people who believed themselves superior for not gossiping.
The day care thing, turned out to be a series of separate incidences. The first being when baby me having hyperfixated on Greek myths decided to info dump on my sister and inform her that the Greek gods were just stories and fake, just like jesus and the Christian God. This also resulted in some consternation from the adult who is supposed to be watching us and in theory guiding us towards a more godly life. Supposedly there was a serious talk with my parents after the fact. However there have been so many serious talks with my parents about my behavior and the things that come out of my mouth that they have in fact blurred together and even my mom has no idea what I did. It is worth noting that this probably did not help my dads Spiritual Questioning.
There were several other incidences but the culminating moment, the one that wound up with us walking out mid service to never return, started when my mother's 17 year old cat died fighting something in the Bush.
This cat was an outdoor cat and as a result kill a lot of things. Baby me had a very good idea of what dead animals looked like and everything that entailed. Baby me had also not really been formally introduced to the concept of heaven, which seems like an oversight on the part of some adult.
So at the day care thing we are all sitting in a circle, going around, and talking about sad things that have happened to this group of slightly older than toddlers so we will have something to pray about. There is another little girl whose cat has died.
I would like to think that the adult version of me would have handled this better.
The long and the short of it is, I informed everyone that heaven wasn't real, dead things stay dead forever, there isn't really such thing as a soul, especially not for cats. Just imagine the worst tone-deaf atheist asshole you know, except 6.
So, she started bawling. The adult that is meant to be in charge is just staring at me in horror. No one told him that he would have to explain the afterlife today. And they really didn't mention that he would be cross-examined by a critical six-year-old while another one sobs.
The conversation that followed had to be hilarious, but due to the foibles of my brain and the intervening decades, I do not remember it at all. A great loss for us all.
Remember how I said it was important that my baby brother has teeth at this point? While I am engaged in theological debate with an increasingly desperate Day care worker, my wonderful loving and loyal baby brother is told that I am a mean person. While this is arguably true, he also loves me. Significantly more than he loves common sense. Or manners. Or Jesus for that matter. His big sister is the best person in the world, actually.
Queue the fighting for my honor.
Yes, he started biting.
My sister is an empathetic cryer and is now also sobbing.
The poor daycare man has not convinced me that heaven exists, but he's now wondering if this is the threshold of hell. Someone goes to get mom or dad or granny or anyone who can do anything about the tiny heathens unleashed on the kiddy hour.
So, yeah. We never went back. Only my sister ever missed it. Next Sunday, Mom told us to go explore the abandoned gravel pit for an hour or so.
22 notes · View notes
sol-emers · 10 months
Text
Hii new story based off the TV show "Yellowjackets" if any of you would like to be tagged in the next parts please comment, and I own none of the gifs all rights go to them:) Also please give me feedback! I love to know if I made mistakes or if you giys think the story should go in a certain direction!
- sol ☀️
Tumblr media
Cornelia Street
Summary: A soccer team gets in a plane crash and stranded for 19 months. In team already full of secrets and drama what more could go down?
Warnings: mentions of drinking, alcohol, descriptions of gore, blood, mentions of sex, and a shitty relationships with parents (nothing physical)
Oc x multiple male, female characters
||
"So what do you think really happend out there?" 
1996
August wanted to be anywhere but here right now. 
It was early morning, two hours shy from when she had to be in a classroom- foot tapping, eyes rolling, and boredom already becoming something she was dreading. 
She flipped the fried eggs as her mom floated around the kitchen talking August and her siblings ear off about the next few days ahead. 
Nothing she and her siblings hadn't heard before. Their mom had a press conference in Tampa and was already anticipating leaving her children behind for some hot fuck to probably make some more. 
If there's anyone August hated it was her mother. 
Usually as she was the eldest it was up to her to make sure her siblings were fed and roofed while her mother was gone, but in two days time she was sure she'd be at nationals winning the trophy with her best friend Van right at her side. 
She couldn't wait. 
"Now remember Augustine, no party's, no boys, absolutely no mischief while I'm gone." 
She rolled her eyes, "that's nice and all mother, but it seems you've forgotten. Willa is in charge this week." 
Her mother could only pause, sighing prickly like she hadn't known her daughter was going out of town for the past week. 
"Fine. Willa you heard what I just said. Remember feed your brothers, your sister will leave you money on the table before she leaves, a vacation charge since she thinks she deserves to go on her trip." 
August sighed sharply, scraping the rest of the eggs roughly on to the plate before placing it in front of her baby brother. Messing with his curls before moving on to her other brother, giving him is food as well- kissing the side of his head. 
August and Willa served themselves, both having the smallest portion in comparison to their mother and brothers plates. 
The two made eye contact, a silent promise made to be kept while August would be gone.
They kept the stare until a loud honking echoed from the outside of the house, a yell making its way from the screen door.
"A! We're late hurry the fuck up!" 
August, avoiding her mother's glared scooped up the rest of her food. It being gone quick due to the urgency. Grabbing her bag sliding her books and pens inside and hopping to the door with one foot out of her shoe. 
"Bye loves, mom- don't wait up!" 
She yelled, running out the door to her smirking friend waiting impatiently for the brunette. 
"How are the kiddies?" Was the first thing Van asked as August climed through her car window (the door was sealed shut).
"They could be better-"
One leg through.
"Uh- if my mom wasn't such a bitch, drive."
As she got her other leg in. 
Van laughed and just sped off in her shitbox car she stole off her dad after he left.  
Van and August met when they were in elementary school, initially bonding on the fact that they both had shitty moms and shared love for music and soccer. 
After they had already become friends Van's dad left and August's died and the bond had been sealed forever.
Trauma can do that shit. 
Wouldn't they know it. 
"She still going on that trip?" 
"Yup." And she was not happy about it. The trip hadn't even been scheduled when her team had won their ticket to nationals, but as soon as August brought up the tickets to her mom it had been suddenly booked for months. 
Her mom hadn't wanted her to go. 
"What our lovely mothers dont realize is once we are gone were gone- like do they think we'll just always stick around?" 
Van had come up with the theory August's mom had scheduled the trip as a power move, a way to tell her even when the options right there- that'd she would never leave. 
Thank god for Willa. 
Willa was two years under August, a sophomore and August's first best friend. The two sisters are close and have already agreed to naming any future children after each other. Spouses be damned. 
August scoffed once more, leaning down into her bag taking out her journal and turning up their favorite band. Noting that they were almost at the camp grounds where the party was being held. Yes the party was in their honor but with the two of them being in student council it was their job to help set these things up. 
(It also helped the school didn't realize August had a fake ID and would usually booze these things up)
It's there fault for never having adult supervision at these things. 
Hours later and now in the locker room prepping for the pep rally, the girls were in better moods. Blasting music and brushing hair was what you'd see and hear if you even walked past the girls locker room door in the hallway. 
"here I go, here I go, here I go again! girls whats my weakness?" they all sang and shouted "men!" at the end.
Natalie and Lottie dancing around each other was all August could notice as she tried not to stare from her locker. 
Only joining in on the fun as Van grabbed her arms and started jumping like they were about to get in a fight- singing along practically screaming the lyrics in each other's faces. 
"i swear, I stared, my niece my witness, my brother had it goin on with something kind of. uh! wicked wicked had to kick it!"
Only letting go when it was clear they really didn't have the time to be fooling as the girls did face paint and tied up there sneakers. 
August adjusted her bangs one more time before closing her locker and migrating to the far left of the room, where she could now hear the conversation happening. 
"Well- hey at least you can wear it next year." Her best friend offered as comfort to the freshman pouting over prom. 
"You don't get it Van, cause nobody asked you." 
August raised her eyebrows at the white girls audacity and Van's non existent reaction. If it were her, she didn't give a damn that she was on her team why does she think it's any of her business? 
"Okay, your done." Van said nodding lightly at the freshman. Until she smiled and walked away like she didn't just drop a bitch bomb. 
Lottie waited by the door until she was gone, only letting out a "Jesus christ" at the display from minutes prior. 
While snorts and chuckles were let out in the locker room. Before the four girls, Van, Lottie, Tai, and August moved to check their reflection in the mirror. 
"Does someone wanna tell Kelly Kapowski
to maybe worry less about prom and maybe more about not fucking up nationals" 
"Oh come on" 
"She's right-" 
"I mean if she plays like she did at states."
"That's not going to happen." Tai said leaning back with her arms crossed, letting August come over and help wrap a silk scarf around her head like a headband. 
"Anyone see jackie?" 
"Right here." The girl in question said, leaving the coaches office smirking smug and she gestured to the gym doors. 
"Sounds like our cue gals" brushing past August's shoulder as she walked past. 
"Sound like our cue gals" August repeated, mocking the teams captain making brief eye contact with Nat on the way out to the gym, hearing the last of the boys team lame portion of the celebration.
August knew she was a bitch eighty percent of the time. She just had little energy for others bullshit and can almost always tell when someone's going to end up being a snake. And little miss Jackie Taylor had been on that list since day one.
Starting to run when Jackie did, number 10 Augstine Jones made her effort to bask in the praise while she had it. 
Smiling up at everyone at the bleachers feeling like she'd accomplished something, humming along in her head when she felt inspiration flooding towards her brain. 
As soon as they were excused she ran back to the locker room searching for a pen and her book, settling for a pencil and a sticky note she'd shove in later writing down sort rhyming lines.
She knew the lines were sad, but they were just as much poetic if anything. Which was pretty much her brand with everything these days. 
As the other girls rushed into the locker room, mostly prepping for the fact that now that the glory was over they had to practice for the next couple hours. 
A faint clearing of a throat got her attention and she turns to the left to see Taissa nudging her head out side staring at her with wide eyes. 
Taissa and August weren't close but the two had definitely established a bond. Being two of the very few black girls in their age group, plus their mutual connection and love for Van kept them friendly. 
August shoved the sticky note somewhere in her locker, closing it before jogging out the room where she discovered Tai, Nat, and Lottie waiting for her to join them. 
"Group meeting- now." Tai said leaning the other confused girls out the school.
"Sorry to burst your bubble there T but this isn't the team- it's like less than a portion of it." August said leaning up against a lamp post when they finally got outside.
Tai rolled her eyes and started her point. Talking about taking about Ally and how she would end up dragging down the team if they let her have the ball during nationals. 
Nat looked upset and kept glancing at August expecting the same reaction. 
Though all she would find was a contemplative face as she thought about what Taissa had brought up. 
"This is what we've worked for all season. Do you really wanna take that chance?" 
"Yeah" Nat said straighting up her shoulders, "because I'm not a fuckin asshole." 
"What are you guys talking about?" Shauna joined,
"Ally" lottie said nodding her head slightly.
"What about her?" 
"Did you black out at states? She totally choked-" 
"She's a freshman-" 
"Which is exactly why Tai has a point. She's a freshmen, she needs another year or so before being a varsity. I don't know what coach was thinking." 
"Exactly she's a liability." 
"So what do you want to do about it?" 
"She can't screw up if she doesn't get the ball." 
"You wanna freeze her out." Shauna concluded, as August raised her eyebrows expecting a better plan.
They were a team and while yes she was a liability it was a weaker move to just not use her at all. It shows that they aren't a team and that isn't what champions do. 
"At least we know what we're working with." Tai said looking for security in her team. 
Lottie and August stared at each other, "she kind of sucks but- I don't know." 
August shook her head, "I agree she definitely shouldn't be playing- but maybe we could convince coach to bench her or something. I mean we really don't need her and it's for a logical reason."
Technically they really didn't need Ally there. The Yellowjackets had a centerback and Ally was really there for back up, which Lottie wouldn't end up needing anyway. It was better to just bench her incase the girls did need her. 
"You need a logical reason because it's bullshit-" 
"Oh yeah? What's your plan?" 
"Play like a fucking team and win? Its worked so far." 
She shook her head- "everything works until it doesn't. And for the record, you smell like a wino, get your shit together" 
"Don't fuckin talk to her like that tai!" 
"Okay- now you shut up." Nat waved her hand in August's face. 
"You don't get to defend me after siding with her." She said, August rolling her eyes at the childness of it all. 
"And you know what- fuck this." She threw her hands up and just walked away- the other girls letting her. 
While August just sighed and followed after the blond who wasn't giving her the time of day. Eventually she followed Nat all the way to practice, where there was no opening to even talk to her. 
But August knew that. Coach was a grade a asshole- even with Coach Scott taking over for him today. There were strict rules when it came to practice starting. 
"Alright bring it in, take a knee ladies!" 
Coach Scott said as everyone kneeled around him in the grass. 
"What up state champs!" he yelled out as everyone cheered.
"Okay- so JV is gonna help us out with a little scrimmage today, uh Coach Martinez had to take care of a family thing, so JV your gonna grab a pinny from Misty and let's get started." Coach Scott said.
"uh excuse me Coach Scott? shouldnt we say a prayer first?" Laura Lee asked a hopeful but expectant expression on her face. 
He hesitated but shook his head tiredly, "Its just a scrimmage Laura Lee, but sure. Yeah knock yourself out. Everyone joined together reluctantly and listened as laura lee said some prayer, everyone said amen and then as soon as they could got to playing the game.
Shauna dribbles upfield, easily maneuvering around the JV defender. Allie races open on her left, but Shauna ignores her, opting for a trickier pass to Van. When Natalie darts in and kicks the ball. 
"Nat over here!" August said, but instead
she ignored her and passed the ball to Ally.
August just ignored the petty girl, continuing to run. Like she hadn't just been ignored. 
"Alright lets go varsity! Taissa wants to see you step it up and quite frankly that makes two of us! lets see some hustle!" Coach Scott said.
The game kept progressing, getting slightly heated though only a scrimmage. 
Shauna and Taissa continued on with the plan, dodging any attempt Ally made for the ball and it got to the point of Jackie and Van staring right at the two girls almost asking 'what the fuck?' 
August who'd walked away before Shauna and Taissa agreed on the plan. Had only recently caught on to the fact that they were in fact going through with it. 
She contemplated if she should or shouldn't- before she heard a sickening snap! 
Turning her head to Taissa and Ally she sees- well she doesn't quite know what she's looking at, is that bone? 
When she comes to the realization it is- August turns away immediately walking to the other side of the field trying to catch her breath in shock of what just happened, because previous to before the break she'd just been sprinting across the field. 
Only half registering her best friend to the side of her throwing up her guts, until she snapped out of it and grabbed on to Van's hair as the girl puked. 
Once Ally was taken by the ambulance, Coach Scott riding with her to the hospital the rest of the team walked back to the locker room in silence. 
A tense air floating around as the girls slowly got ready to head home for the night until the party later. 
Everyone's avoiding eye contact- really unsure about what they would even say if someone did open their mouth. 
Except Nat, who's very obviously glaring at Tai. Jackie is the one who breaks the silence. Her perky voice echoing in the room as she says "I know we're all worried about Allie. But I really think we need
to focus on the positive right now. It might not be as bad as it looks"
Nat scoffs shaking her head. 
"You could see her fucking bones, Jackie. I'm pretty sure it's exactly as bad as it looks."
"Oh God. I think I'm gonna puke again…" Van said, shaking her head regrettably, as August looked at her and hesitantly rubbed her back- hoping to give some sort of comfort. 
Jackie glares a Nat, taking a breath before continuing "I mean, we're still a team. And we still have each other. And…" 
She drifted off as August muttered "some team we are" shaking her head and looking to nat with an apologetic look. The guilt already rushing in, knowing she even just slightly agreed with the plan.
Jackie just turned to Shauna hoping for some backup- but really all she got was a tired look. 
Natalie just slams her locker shut. Done with this conversation and intense air. Leaving the locker room dramatically as Augustine not so discrete slowly inched up and followed after the girl. 
Hoping it looked like she just wanted to get out of there despite Van being her ride. 
(Though she wasn't really) 
Following Nat out into the hallway all the way till they made it to Nats car. August very quickly snatching the keys from her already knowing most likely she wasn't sober. 
They both got in and August started driving, the same tense air having followed all the way to the car. 
"So, are you going to stay mad at me forever?" 
Natalie sighed and turned to look out the window. "I'm- I'm not mad at you okay." 
"Okay? So why do I suddenly feel like I ripped up your favorite Montley Crue shirt?" August asked the fake blond teasingly.
That got Nat to loosen up a bit, "Oh please if anything it's your favorite shirt- with how often you steal it." 
"The day I stop wearing your clothes is the day we break up love." 
"Yeah well that's not happening anytime soon." She said, suddenly staring at August with her pouty lip jutted out like she was upset. 
August and Van had to be the queens of secret relationships. Though August definitely took the title for this one because hers remained a secret to her best friend. 
August and Natalie had almost always been foils in their day to day life. Pure opposites yet so alike at the same time, they clashed perfectly. 
They had years of unreleased sexual tension by homecoming of junior year, they were fucking by Christmas and in love by Valentines. 
The two had kept it a secret for their parents sake, with Nats dad and August's mom being on their backs constantly it was easier keeping those parts of themselves hidden away. 
The only one who even knew they were closer than just two teammates was Natalie's mom who just assumed they were close friends who had a lot of sleepovers. 
Van knows that there's someone in August's life she just never pushes for details. If anyone knows the backlash a secret coming out can have its her. 
So she goes with the flow dropping August off everyday and going home with Taissa, only knowing that her friends has a ride with someone who loves her. 
Speaking of a ride. August pulls over, face impassive as she stared at nothing. Nat knows better than to say anything, giving time and patience to the girl in front of her.
August's hands came up to Nats face, redirecting the girls focus to her. Cupping her cheeks and bringing their lips together. 
Although the annoyance for her girlfriend was still firmly in her chest, she would never fight August. Instead leaning further into the kiss. 
When they separated all August could think was, "You sure your not mad?" 
"No, more disappointed that you would've just let that happen." She said, grazing her hand up and down the brunettes cheek. 
Leaning closer, right up next to August's ear she whispers. "But I may know of a few ways you can make it up to me." She smirks leaning back on the leather seats, looking down at her girlfriends love shining through her eyes as clear as glass. 
"Well then I must not disappoint." 
||
Hope you guys liked it- please don't be a silent reader, and please let me know if you'd like to be tagged! Augustines face claim is young Tatyana Ali- in specifics her teenage Fresh prince of Belair era. Willa's face claim is young halle bailey:)
Thanks for reading, see you soon!
-sol
41 notes · View notes
Text
TSITP 2x05 - “Love Fool” : Jeremiah’s point of view
“- Conrad could have chosen his words better. But he’s not wrong. The truth hurts. All of it hurts.”
“- Our dad was never going to win a Father of the Year award. He was flawed, that’s for sure. But when it counted, he was there at the end. Conrad just couldn’t see it. He didn’t want to.”
“- Sometimes I hate myself for how long it took me to notice it. That invisible force between the two of them. I wanted to tell Conrad that he had no right, that he’d ignored Belly for all these years. But it wasn’t just up to Conrad. It was Belly’s choice, too. So I forced myself to let it go. There were more important things to worry about then, anyway.” 
“- Being around Belly this week has made me remember all over again. And my genius plan to stay pissed at her and keep her at arm’s length is a failure. So I just keep telling myself over and over, it’ll never be me. It’s always going to be Conrad.”
“- When she looks at me like this, I can almost let myself believe she sees me the way she used to see Conrad.” 
“- Does he know how badly I’ve wanted to take Belly’s hand like that? Would he care?”
“- I can remember the exact moment when everything changed. From the first moment I saw her last summer. She’d always been just Belly. A girl I’ve know my whole life, my friend. Except what I was feeling in that moment was so much stronger. I wanted to grab her and hold her and kiss the shit out of her. And the feeling never went away. But I wasn’t the only one. I tried to convince myself for a long time that they weren’t inevitable. That I had a chance. But it’s pretty clear to me now that I never actually did.”
“- I was annoyed with Conrad that day, with everything about him. He’d gotten to take Belly to her prom, and he’d acted like it was some big chore. If it had been me, I would have done it right. I wouldn’t have forgotten the corsage. I’d have given her the perfect night. (I was heartbroken).  - Conrad forgot Belly’s corsage? That’s shitty of him.  (...) - You always remember what makes Belly happy. You still have feelings for her.  (Susannah) - No, Mom. I got over that crush a long time ago.  - You never let anyone see you hurting. Yeah, well, sometimes I think you’re a little too good a being fine. (Susannah) - Well, isn’t that what everyone wants me to be?  - No. Not me. This is all my fault. I got so excited at the prospect of Belly being with one of my boys. It must have been so hard for you, seeing her with your brother. (Susannah) - I don’t want you have to worry about that, Mom. - Promise me. You and Conrad will never let anything come between you. You will always put each other first. (Susannah) - Mom, Con and I are fine. I promise. You don’t have to worry about that, okay? She chose him. They chose each other and I’m... - Her best friend (Shit not the thing to say). This is just the beginning of your story, Jere. And I can’t guarantee anyone’s feelings. Or promise that no one will get hurt. But the fun in life is figuring out where the rest of the story goes. Do you know what my graduation quote was? Amelia Earhart. “Adventure is worthwhile in itself.” Remember that. I adore you, sunshine boy. (Susanna)  - My day always loved Conrad better. But I had my mom. She was the only person who ever really saw me. Her and Belly.”
“- My whole life, it’s always been Conrad for Belly. But maybe... maybe, for the rest of the story, it could be me.” 
25 notes · View notes
Text
Spoilers
Random thoughts I had while reading TNC:
Weird lore in the ground. Huh.
Audrian also has that lore. Elsie stuff?
Damn! I've been imagining lore keepers taking on traits from their beasts since book 1, and now it's canon!
Fuck you Leopold. Good for you Cyril.
Field trip! Nice to meet all the high keepers, Hasu's mom having a dragonfly on her face is cool, but I don't like her by principle because it seems she's putting a lot of pressure on Hasu :(
Oh hi Zeeeenzi
ETHEL! MY BABY HOW I'VE MISSED YOU. WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER!?!
Blights are creepy. Also based on what was previously said I'm guessing that Yasha came from a town struck by them?
Hasu can already do lore surge? I mean that's cool, but seriously, why are they putting so much pressure on her?
Signature moves! Nice.
Oooh creepy tomb. So that's where "The Night Compass" comes in. Also I didn't mention it but I love Grusha.
Hydra snakes. Cool.
YASHA!!!!!!!!!
I just love all things Yasha :)
Damn! I remember someone predicting that Navryshta or however you spell her name is a mammoth frozen in ice, looks like you were right!
Bye Yasha... but Barclay still has his coat 😳
Oh the description of Barclay's blackened fingers was BRUTAL
It's nice to see Runa and Cyril becoming friends again.
I also like seeing Viola realize that her dad is kinda shitty, reminds of when I realized that about my mom. I still love my mom, but she's a little insufferable, and it's nice to see someone in fiction feeling the same way as me.
Also Barclay practicing with his new lore is so cute ☺️
The image of the glacier point was so clear, and it was really cool.
oh fuck no no no LEAVE RUNA ALONE YOU ASSHOLE
Bye Yasha... again... also Viola stabbed you in the shoulder? Damn!
HASU'S BONDED WITH A LEGENDERY BEAST?!? WHAT?!?
QUIST YOU FUCKING GENIUS, EDUCATE THE WHIMSICAL AND TELL NO ONE
GRUSHA!! Leave her alone Audrian you fucking asshole!
GRUSHA NOOOOOOO (but stabbing Audrian with the horn and RUNA'S move? Iconic)
YASHA NOOOOOOO
Runa's going to bond with a legendery beast? That's fucking awesome!
NAVRYSHTA NOOOOOOOOO
Leopold 😒
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT FUCK WHAT'S HAPPENING
HOLY SHIT THE WILDERLAND IS GOING WILD
THE FAMILY IS BREAKING UP? NOOOOO
HASU'S GREAT BEAST WOKE UP? WOOOOAAH
So overall I really liked the book, I liked the darker vibe and the greater violence, and the plot twist were cool. I have a few questions, such as: how did Navyrishta get trapped in the ice in the first place? Why was the horn plunged into the glacier at the north of the world? Why did it turn silver? And also I'm wondering what happened to Abel, since that was never explained. I hope that in future books we get more time with Ethel and maybe discover what happened. I'm also glad that Root got more screentime, because my biggest critique of books 2 and 3 is that they kinda didn't give him anything to do. Barclay and Zenzi kissing was nice, but I don't really see this turning into something serious more like a crush that will eventually go away and all that'll remain is friendship. I also enjoyed seeing Barclay getting better at lying, although I'm not sure how I feel about it being through Audrian. Speaking of which, Audrian is delusional. Fuck him. Can't wait for the next book!
11 notes · View notes
roseofcards90 · 9 months
Text
@fairyprince7 here is all the shit Apollo Justice has went through in the ace attorney series:
- loses his biological dad in a fire that was actually secretly an assassination attempt cover up thing to make it look like this guy killed his wife who was the queen of the country (also here is him reaching out to baby Apollo before he dies)
Tumblr media
- loses his mom because she thought he was dead from the fire along with her husband, so she remarries but then LOSES HER MEMORY after a fatal accident which leaves her unable to remember both her son and daughter when she meets them again later as an amnesiac so Apollo and Trucy are still not aware they’re siblings
look how pretty she looks btw
Tumblr media
- gets adopted by the guy previously mentioned above (his name is Dhurke) who goes into hiding and becomes a revolutionary, but is quickly sent back to his home country of AMERICA because his father figure thought it would be too dangerous for him to live in a country going through a war rn, so Apollo waits for him to return but he never comes back and is like :( (little did he know that the next time he meets Dhurke again he’s already fucking dead ✨)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
- his foster brother meets him again like years later in court and denies his past with him (because of a bunch of things ultimately it’s guilt but yeah) so he is forced to deal with his foster brother repeatedly throwing beads at him in court and telling him that he would be a stink bug in his next life
- his mentor (Kristoph) betrays him essentially and Apollo is really affected by this because he finds out that his mentor is a really shitty dude and this goes on to affecting him as an attorney in the next game, he also gets pretty shocked when he sees the guy he admired (Phoenix) as a defendant in court for murder
- loses his best friend (this guy here his name is Clay)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
because of an assassin who was like going around a space center kinda just killing people for no reason iirc??? 😭 and then this sets off a whole thing where Athena gets blamed for his death and Apollo goes all angsty and is like “I’m taking a leave of absence rn I can’t be an attorney because I’m convinced my other friend has killed my best friend and I’m completely disillusioned with the entire justice system rn”
Tumblr media
and this is when Kristoph’s lingering ideals come into play because Kristoph believed that “evidence was everything” in court and Apollo believes that Athena killed his friend because of said false evidence that was used to frame her (and this is actually a really cool thing but Apollo in game makes the same pose and says the same lines as Kristoph does in the previous game and it really alludes to how much impact he had as a mentor on Apollo and how much control he had on his ideals as an attorney)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But yeah Apollo has been through a bunch of shit over half of this was added in one single game btw
16 notes · View notes
crmsnmth-journal · 1 month
Text
4/15/2024 9:23 PM
My bedroom light is on right now, and it's bugging me, and I only now just remembered my glasses are sitting ontop of my ps4. The light I could ignore, but I've hit the delete button at least two times on every single word. Even the ones featuring only two letters. Dammit. There. Better. And I turned off my light. Today starts the summer hours for the alley. We are now no longer open Mondays and Tuesdays. I still have to go in on Monday mornings to do inventory and place the order. This takes me five minutes. Maybe ten if I need some extra stuff. I do most of it throughout Saturday nights. So my cab ride actually ends up costing me more then what I actually make in five minutes. My boss could easily do it, considering he lives a block away from the alley, but it is what it is. This is where I supplement my hours. Cleaning and maintence that I never have to time to do otherwise that I can finally get down. Deep cleaning the kitchen is my least favorite thing to do, but I'm not going to deny how great the satisfaction factor is. So that's what I do now, and remind myself of why I need to get out of there.
I had therapy today. It was kind of weird. Started off like normal, mostly me just whining for ten minutes about all the very small problems I actually have in my life. And then we ended up talking about my childhood. Which is odd. We've been down this road before. It's not a very fun road, and I don't even know how it came up today. But it did. And we once again went over how me, my middle brother and my youngest brother all had very different childhoods. And I forgave my parents already for what I was given. I don't blame them. They were young and stupid. Hell, I wasn't even supposed to exist (as sick as it sounds, my dad used to call me his favorite accident. You'd have to get our humor to find that funny and not as awful as it sounds). Both my parents were…we'll call them party people. They loved trees, and they loved booze, and they especially loved it when it snowed. Both of them had addiction issues, and wouldn't you know it, both me and my middle brother (same parents. my youngest brother has a different dad) both have addiction issues. My childhood was lonely and a lot of being yelled at or grounded to my room or just being told go away. my middle brother had both mom and dad doting over him up until the affair and drugs led to divorce. Then I raised him until I got the fuck out of the house, jumping between my shitty little town to the town I'll always consider my real hometown. And the youngest is exactly that. The youngest. The baby who can do no wrong. Each one of us had radically different childhoods, and it's interesting to see how we all turned out. It's weird to be as close to someone like either of them. Honestly, if we weren't related, I don't think any one of us would be friends…and I kind of wonder if that's normal. Would anyone actually be friends with their family members if they weren't related or grown up together? I'm not really sure most people would.
2 notes · View notes
winderlylandchime · 8 months
Note
(Lets all say a silent thank you to my cousin who suggested that I record him at major moments last week) 2/3And Brian said there’s nothing noble about being poor. (And my brother lost his mind. Im glad you gave me a heads up that you guys were wondering about this scene so i could film him) ‘Wait!!!!! hold up!!! Pause it! I’ve had thoughts about brian and money and *waves his hands while fast walking* stuff but I need my laptop! (he has over 20 google tabs opened with research about colleges in Pittsburgh that could do marketing degrees, how much it would cost and shit like that. One tab was also ‘how to learn to play violin in less than a week’ he said he wanted to see if its really that hard) Okay so! I’ve been thinking A LOT about this. So Mike said they were in the same school, remember? But Mike dropped out or something like that from college which to be fair, so did I and I think I’m doing fantastic, haters that go by the name mom and dad may disagree but I’m here for a fun time not to cure cancer, anyway back to Brian. Brian has this big fancy wearing suit type of job and he’s a partner remember? So that unfortunately demands a resume with big words on it like “college”. So Brian definitely went to college and he obviously worked his ass off since clearly him and Mike are nowhere near each other cash wise. I mean a loft like that? That he probably owns? At 30? Plus the suit wearing job? Yeah, he did a lot of work and probably even had straight As. Probably even in high school so he could get into college AND like how he keeps going at Justin for school? Remember him being impressed by his SATs and how he would make him study like crazy. Shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he even quizzed him during sex. Poor Justin for sure got a boner while taking a test. Wait im getting distracted! Anyway his *gags* dad also took money for him AND HE HAD IT FUCKING READY! He went to see him and he already had it ready! And just before his nephew said Brians sister says he doesnt give them any money which clearly not true to some level but clearly they saw him make money and they took it. And we both know that house was on fire! It was burning every day! This dude made it out alive but he most definitely got 3rd degree burns. So he for sure knew the only way out was to turn 18 and get into college far away and then never come back unless it’s for a funeral to make 100% sure that they are in in that box. So him saying there’s nothing noble about being poor is coming from a different place than what Justin is dealing with with that fucker. That dude is just a broke college student who got offered a deal that kinda sucks BUT he said it himself to Jen, his parents payed for shit, they supported him. Meanwhile Brian? Every single thing he has down to his drugs was bought by him. And i doubt he’d ever take anything from anyone because you know how shitty abusive parents are? They buy you a box of cereal once and then throw it in your face for 3 years straight. So he probably never got anything from his parents and if he did it came with a price *looks at paused Brian on tv and takes a deep breath* and probably some bruises too. So him saying and thinking that, is coming from a place of survival and “look what i did for myself” when everyone probably told him he’s never gonna be anything except maybe dead. And sure he clearly loves money and power since he’s even willing to work with that fucker but in some way can you blame him? He was powerless all his life. But if that would be Ethan who would say that? Now that’s different. It’s not exactly survival in the same sense *looks at me in worry* i fear, i lost the plot of the point..i will make it back but i need to think. *plays the episode again* ‘WHY WOULD THEY MAKE HIM JERK OFF TO RAGE?! No matter what he’s always gonna be obsessed with Brian. HE IS RUNNING WITH SPERM IN HIS CUP! RUN FORREST RUN. Is that really how this was done?’
WOW the character analysis from your brother… I personally think he’s spot on (I’ve given a lot of thought to Brian’s SES background and where he is financially and professionally at the start of the show… too much thought? Nah.) (Btw tell your brother some day that the fandom thinks Brian went to Carnegie Mellon - I love all his open tabs) And this is happening in parallel to Stockwell - Brian is clearly a take the money and who tf cares where it’s from because he had to be, he didn’t have any alternative. His advice makes perfect sense for him to have survived.
Cosign your brother’s analysis.
3 notes · View notes
ms-moonlight-inn · 10 months
Text
WIP Wednesday Thursday
Tagged by @lingy910y @energievie & @rayrayor to share a WIP.
So... y'all remember a little thing called "Four Hours' Absence"? Chapter 5 has been in the works for a very, very long time. It's about halfway done, but it's just kind of been sitting there waving hello at me every time I open my Drive.
One of the problems is that I love this storyline so much that I really don't want to end it. 🙈 Another problem is that this is the fic that I work on whenever I'm in a really shitty mood. The problem is that every time I've been in a bad mood lately, I have been working through my problems instead of disassociating and writing as a way to run away from my problems.
Good for me, bad for this fic. Now I'm kind of faced with the challenge of maintaining the original cadence and flavor of this storyline while at the same time not putting myself in that same negative space I used to be in when I started it. It's proven to be harder than I thought it would be. 😆
Anyway, enough excuses. Here's part of the opening scene. 💕
***
Four Hours' Absence —Chapter 5
Cash sighs, “Goddamn, she’s beautiful.”
“Will you put down the fucking binoculars you look like a stalker.” Fred bats at the big end of the binoculars successfully knocking them from Cash's hands. They bounce off his knobby knees, managing to whack Fred’s ankle before they finally hit the rowboat’s floor.
Bemused would be a good way to describe Gabe’s expression, Cash waits for the insult he knows is coming. “Look? Freakazoid has been pining after that poor girl all summer.”
“Fuck you, Gabe!” Cash retaliates. “We’re not all lucky enough to find a fuck boy the day after a break up in the middle of East Bum Fuck Nowhere.”
“Call my boyfriend a fuck boy one more time…”
“Gentlemen,” Fred interrupts, the picture of austere mediation, “I think we can all agree Church Boy ain’t no one’s fuck boy.”
“Not true. We’ve gotten into some shit. Would’a gotten into some more if it wasn't for Dads.”
For a moment, Cash forgets his blood vendetta with his brother and cousin long enough to get the scoop. “Oh? How did Dads ruin your sex life this time?”
He watches Gabriel dig in the cooler for a can of Dr. Pepper and the pack of sunflower seeds they ganked from Unkip. He draws out the suspense by taking a few sips of soda and swirling the can around before starting in on his story.
“Ah, nothing much. Just me having the keys to Pops’ truck, so Steve and I were gonna sneak in the back seat for a little…” He bounces his eyebrows so he doesn’t have to say that part out loud, Cash wants to vomit. “So, there we are. Me and Steve. Against the side of Pops’ truck. Kissing. Pawing. I finally managed to get the damn door open. Fling the fucking thing wide open. And guess what I see?”
“Uncles.” Fred deadpans.
“Exact-a-mondo. Dad and Pops in the backseat. Shirtless, ‘cause fuck my life. And they’re both staring at me like I did something wrong. Motherfuckers, you’ve got a whole bedroom for that!”
Cash makes a gagging sound.
Fred snatches the bag of sunflower seeds outta Gabe’s hand. “SO unfair. Can’t tell you how many times Mom and Dad have fucked up my life like that. I’m constantly walking in on them on the breakfast counter. Fuckers, I eat there!”
6 notes · View notes
I really don’t know why I had this specific headcanon. Maybe bc I was rereading the relationship between Sanji and his family. Plus on reddit I’ve seen an old post with someone saying „Apparently Oda said that if Sanji should die, Zoro would pick up his smoking habit to remember him“, dunno if this is true but now I’m imagining Zoro and Sanji sharing a cigarette. This story is canon-divergent and it’s also been quite some time since I read the WCI arc and my memory is shit, so bear with me. Also Zoro and Sanji are most likely slightly ooc lol. Anyway, this happened in my brain...
Tumblr media
Sanji knows it was a bad idea to go after his so-called family on his own, but he’d rather die while trying to stop them than seeing his friends get in danger. He can’t stand the presence of the man who fathered him, his stench makes him sick to his stomach. Judge has told him all kinds of fairytales about his future power and influence in the world, once Sanji got married to that daughter of Big Mom, and Sanji wishes he could settle things with his family once and for all, but he knows the time isn’t the best, so all he can do for now is listen to his father’s ridiculous fantasies and hope that his friends would be alright.
Of course, Judge tried to ask Sanji about his connection to the Strawhat pirates, which Sanji tried to dodge and give the least possible information about, stating he was only the ship’s chef and nothing else, and his father eyed him suspiciously. „We’ll see about that“, he said and left it at that for the moment, but not without gifting his son with an icy smile that let chills run down over Sanji’s spine.
The door to the throne room opens and Sanji watches his older brothers Ichiji and Niji drag a figure along with them.
„Look at the rat we’ve got here“, Ichiji announces proudly, throwing the man on the floor like a shopping bag. Sanji gulps. Those clothes, short green hair, arms tied behind his back. Goddammit, how could that happen?
„He fell off a tiny ship or whatever that was when we attacked it. These idiots were dumb enough to think they could cross our territorial waters without our permission. Thought he’d look familiar.“
„Does he?“ Judge asks, and Niji grabs the man by the scalp and lifts his head up. A soft sound, metal jingling against metal, from his left ear that was covered in blood, so was his temple, and of course – Sanji already knew who he was when the men entered the room. A figure impossible to mistake for someone else, once you met him, eyeing his opponents with a dark glare like an angered tiger in a cage.
Niji approaches Sanji and Judge with a stack of papers in his hand, briefly says „this one“ and hands the paper on top to his dad. Sanji stares in disbelief at the face that stares at his father’s, full of hatred.
„Ah, Roronoa Zoro“, Judge loudly announces. „The Pirate Hunter. Quite a bounty. I guess you know this guy?“ Judge nugdes Sanji with a grin, but the only response he gets is a frown that’s reserved for Zoro. How could you let yourself get captured?
„What are you doing here?“ Sanji asks his comrade without any emotions in his voice, although there are many of them he feels. The timing of this couldn’t be any worse, Sanji thinks darkly. Shitty marimo is gonna ruin everything. An eerie thought crawls into Sanji’s mind, but he manages to pause it for the moment.
„Guess I could ask you the same thing“, Zoro gives back, husky voice, almost growling, with a suggestive undertone Sanji doesn’t like at all. Zoro is mad. But not solemnly at the Vinsmoke family - first and foremost at Sanji. „Quite a mess you put me in, you dumb cook.“
Sanji bites back the remark that lingers on his tongue, while Judge openly laughs.
„Seems like you boys have something to discuss. I’m afraid there won’t be time for that. But I have quite a few things to talk about with you.“ Judge slowly walks towards Zoro who’s still forced to kneel on the ground.
„Do you?“, Zoro replies, sly grin on his face. „Why would I waste my time talking to a bastard like you?“
„Guess we have to introduce ourselves, father“, Ichiji says, and swings his leg to kick Zoro in the face and the swordsman‘s head jerks to the side and he roars in pain. Sanji flinches and is about to lunge forward to attack Ichiji, but Niji holds him firmly in place. Zoro grunts, blood runs from his nose, and he stares at Ichiji, his brows sunken dangerously low.
„You’re gonna pay for this“, Zoro growls with a deep voice, „for that hit and also for taking away my swords earlier. You don’t seem to know who’s in front of you either….!“
Ichiji grins disdainfully. „You are scum. You’re not worth the ground I’m walking on. You made the mistake of challenging the Vinsmoke family. You might have earned yourself a reputation, but it’s not even close to ours. And you will learn about our power.“
Zoro scans Ichiji’s face, then knits his brows, then looks over to Judge and lastly to Sanji. He grins. And then, he laughs.
„You’re the stupidest looking idiots I’ve ever come across, I don’t know how to take you seriously“, Zoro chuckles, and Sanji shakes his head, both as to acknowledge Zoro’s idiocy and as a warning sign he hopes Zoro sees, in order to tell him to keep his damn big mouth shut.
„You’re not afraid of anything, aren’t you?“, Judge asks Zoro quietly as he crouches down in front of him, and Zoro recovers from his laughing fit and looks directly into Judge’s eyes.
„No.“
„That’s your first mistake“, Judge says, „but based on my work experience I can tell that the inability to detect danger usually is one result of a general lack of intelligence, and you really don’t appear to be smart. Just loud and boisterous.“ Judge watches Zoro from the corner of his eyes, and it’s a bait Zoro all too easily swallows.
„Oh yeah? You guys really think you’re a match for me? And you claim to be the smart one between the two of us.“ Zoro ends with another arrogant, lopsided grin, one of his many trademarks, and Sanji exhales audibly, shaking his head because he damn well knows where this is gonna lead to. He knows that crazy bastard in front of his father inside and out, but the same applies to his father, and he witnesses two men who won’t back down and bow down to anyone standing face-to-face, and that strange feeling he can’t quite grasp crawls back into his head, and Sanji feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He’s gonna ruin everything.
Judge eyes him with a cold stare. „You’re gonna tell me everything I want to know about your crew. Where they are, why you are here, everything.“
„What if I don’t?“
Judge looks into Zoro’s face for a moment longer before he stands up again, and he doesn’t move a single muscle in his face as he kicks Zoro in the stomach, enhancing the boot of his raid suit with electricity, and Zoro screams, and Sanji forces himself to watch his comrade go through the agony his own father put him in. Zoro doubles over, groans repeatedly, and Sanji’s whole body shakes and trembles. Niji eyes him suspiciously, and Sanji reminds himself that he has to keep his composure - he told Judge that he doesn’t care about the Straw Hats, none of them.
Zoro coughs as Judge watches him, addressing him one last time with a cold, vicious voice that freezes the blood in Sanji’s veins.
„I’ll put you through hell.“
Zoro remains silent for once, but his dark, if not murderous expression tells Sanji what’s on the swordman’s mind.
Judge crosses his arms behind his back. „Your decision. You can be a traitor and live, or you can be a moron and die.“ He turns around now and locks eyes with Sanji as he walks back to him and Niji. Sanji returns his gaze, and he doesn’t hide the hatred and abhorrence in his eyes.
Just as Zoro inhales and opens his mouth for a retort, Sanji beats him to it. „You’re right, father“, he says loudly, and Judge comes to a halt right in front of him. „He is a stupid idiot. He’s proven to be an idiot time and time again. Never uses his brain, always excited to get in a fight. The only things he cares about are his swords and booze. You can’t expect much from a guy like that.“ Judge eyes Sanji closely, but Sanji holds his gaze. „He’s as illiterate and crude as you expect him to be. We never got along with each other from the day we’ve met. And I don’t intend to change that. He’s the dumb musclehead he looks like. He doesn’t know jack shit. So whatever it is you expect him to know, you can be sure he doesn’t have a clue about it. He’s useless.“
Sanji’s putting much at stake, he knows it. But he’s not gonna let Zoro grant preference to destroy his father, if the odds turned out to be in Zoro’s favor, absolutely fucking not… however, and Sanji’s sure of it, Zoro would be no match to Judge. Not only because Zoro lacks some vital information about the Vinsmokes in general, but also…
The blonde cook feels his heart beating in his chest, and he hopes he actually didn’t manoeuvre himself into a corner like he suspects he did.
If Vinsmoke Judge wasn’t such a large and impressive figure, Sanji would have been able to see Zoro steaming now, but Judge blocks his view on the swordsman. But he can very well hear Zoro yell „You son of a bitch!“, for which he earns a punch from Ichiji. Sanji tries to be calm and collected, and to emphasise his demeanor, he pulls out a cigarette and his lighter and starts to smoke. Niji lets go off him, and Sanji tries to calm down his shaking hands.
„Well, that brings me in some kind of inconvenience“, Judge muses. „I was hoping that my sons would bring me some big enough fish who could enlighten me, but you say otherwise. I guess I have to change my plans then.“ Judge turns around again, and Sanji exhales the breath he’s been holding.
His father walks over to Zoro again.
Fear. That’s what it is. Not uneasiness, not insecurity, not that anxious feeling you experience when you know something bad is likely going to happen. It’s fear. It’s a primal instinct, and Sanji grew to learn it, grew up with living with it, a long time ago.
Judge suddenly speaks up, and he startles Sanji.
„Pardon me, son, but I’m right to assume that, if you despise this man as much as you claim to, you don’t mind if we‘re going to torture him a little bit – just for the hell of it?“ Judge flashes Sanji a vicious grin, one of those that causes the chef’s blood to boil in his veins. „And it’s your decision if you tell me what I want to know instead, and then we’ll stop, or you just leave this roach to his demise and join us, we’re going to destroy the Strawhat pirates anyway. But be informed that, should you comply and sing, in order to stop the torturing, I’ll just count this as another sign of your weakness, as another proof that you’re a failure and an miserable excuse of a man. Because a real man doesn’t care about those who stand in his way, and a real man doesn’t back down. In some way-„ Judge grabs Zoro’s head now and forces him to look into the tyrants‘ face „-it’s a shame that we’re going to kill you piece by piece. A fierce brute like you would’ve fit in my army just fine. But, like I said, you’re not nearly smart enough for that.“
„You’re gonna regret the day we’ve met“, Zoro growls, before Judge gives him a hard push that shoves Zoro over the floor and Sanji watches Ichji and Niji taking a hold of Zoro again, dragging him out of the room while his crewmate throws insult after insult at them.
Sanji feels nauseous. Everything would have been under control, if Zoro wouldn’t have lost against his brothers. A knot forms in his stomach as he thinks about the rest of the crew, the ones who were travelling with Zoro and whose fate he doesn’t know about, as well as the others who stayed on Tottoland Island with Luffy. Sanji damn well knows how much his older brothers love to torture people who they think little of, and parts of his own childhood force their way back into his mind, and he smokes his cigarette quicker. His father’s laughter echoes in his head, a sound he hasn’t heard in such a long time, but which still feels horribly familiar.
Zoro‘s going to tell him a thing or two, once they’ve been able to escape the place, that’s for sure. Sanji feels that crippling fear again, that imminent sense of danger, as he thinks about the swordsman, the image of him after they’ve met Bartholomew Kuma on the Thriller Bark creeps back into his mind, how Zoro was standing there in his own blood only being alive by sheer willpower. Sanji wondered how Zoro was even standing on his own feet, and he wondered what it would take for him to collapse. He survived shit he should have died on for so many times. He is throws himself into life-threatening, suicidal situations without so much as batting an eye, reckless, careless, senseless, batshit crazy. The cook wipes a strand of his blonde hair out of his face, wondering if he’s gonna be present on the day when Zoro will finally meet his maker. But today’s not the day, and the place is not the place, and Vinsmoke Judge won’t be the last man in whose face Zoro would look and smile before he goes down.
„This is a waste of time“, Sanji murmurs, taking another drag from his cigarette. „I can’t believe y’all are dumb enough to fall for that moron‘s mockery. Guess you’re even dumber than him.“ Judge turns around to look at him. „It’s true“, Sanji shrugs. „That dumbass always wants to get in a fight. Whatever he gains from it, I don’t even wanna know. Shit probably turns him on or something.“ Judge chuckles while Sanji puts out the cigarette he’s been smoking down to its butt.
„You’re too soft“, Judge remarks with a voice that reminds Sanji of a meat grinder. „You don’t stand behind what you’re saying. You’re weak and pathetic and you obviously think I’m dumb. You didn’t really think I’d let go of that jerk because of your little act, did you?“ Judge bends down to get closer to his son’s face, and the latter presses his lips together in anger. „I know he won’t say anything“, Judge continues. „And you know that I just love to see him suffer. I want to see if you suffer then as well. Let’s say, seven days.“
„What?“
„Seven days. I’ll keep him tied up and torture him for seven days without food and water. If he survives and you don’t do anything to free him and really remain unimpressed by his treatment, I shall set him free. Not you, of course. You will have to stay here and marry Charlotte Pudding.“ Judge cups his hands behind his back and saunters in a circle around Sanji. „You get to see him once a day. And you will tell him to sing. You will tell him that if he gives us information, his suffering will end. If he refuses, he’ll have to wait until those seven days are over to be executed. Not that he’s going to make it that far.“
„But you said that you want me to-„
„Boy, boy, boy.“ Judge shakes his head slowly. „I can torture this guy all day long if I want. But you? You have to stay all pretty of course for the wedding! I’m curious, I have to say, what he thinks of you. He’s going to think you’re a traitor, and that you will talk, right? If he doesn’t think you’re rat already, for crawling back to your father on your knees.“
Sanji’s body shakes on its own account again, he’s fueled with rage. He wishes he could end his father’s life right here and now, and he seriously contemplates doing it. If that shitty marimo wouldn’t be held captive in the catacombs, he wouldn’t hesitate. But as things are now, it’s too risky. He needs more time. He needs a plan. As if he already hadn’t enough shit on his hands.
„I don’t think it’ll work, but I try“, Sanji says then. „But do I have your word that you’ll set him free when he talks?“
„Of course“, Judge grins, and he doesn’t even try to hide that he’s lying.
~~~
Sanji waits until Ichiji and Niji return from the catacombs. He grinds his teeth upon seeing their gloves and boots bloodied, upon them laughing and shouting, bragging about what they did.
„Did he say anything?“ Judge wants to know.
„Nah“, Niji replies. „Aside from a few insults and threats here and there. Took my right hook like a champ, though.“ He laughs. Sanji wants to rip his stupid laugh right off his fucking face.
„Give us two more days, three at most. He’ll beg uns on his knees to spare his life. If he’ll have remaining knee caps to kneel down on then, that is.“ Sanji hears the men roar with laughter, and he grinds his teeth harder to remind himself to stay in place, play along, and not to run downstairs immediately. He knows he’s still alive, and they want to have something to do for the remaining days. However, it gets harder to ignore the growing knot in his stomach and the dryness in his throat and the boiling blood in his veins. He waits for the brothers to calm down and find something else they can keep themselves occupied with, and then, with a growing sense of dread, he descends the stairs.
~~~
The hallway is dark and cold and humid. A few torches here and there prevent Sanji from wandering around in complete darkness. He walks until he sees a silhouette in one of the cells, sitting at the bars.
„Mosshead“, he greets the figure. „How stupid of you to let yourself get captured.“
Sanji sits down at the bars as well.
„You traveled into that bastard's territory alone and you have the audacity to call me stupid?“, the silhouette rasps, followed by a wheezy, weak laugh.
Sanji exhales. He’s not able to see Zoro properly due to how dark it is. „They roughed you up quite a bit, haven‘t they?“, he asks the swordsman.
A bit of silence, then: „Shut up. It’s nothing.“
Sanji reaches into the pocket of his vest to get his cigarettes. He uses the lighter and in the glim of light, he sees Zoro’s face: the swelling above his remaining eye, the bruises, the dried blood under his nose, how he sits there cross-legged in front of him, arms on his knees, back hunched. Sanji knows he’s worse than he claims to be. Yet, he says nothing, swallows the sudden feeling of anger, closes his eyes and lights the cigarette. When he closes the lid of his lighter, Zoro disappears into the shadows again.
Sanji takes a drag and inhales deeply. He needs a clear mind, for the both of them.
„Care to share with me?“
Zoro’s question startles Sanji a bit. He opens his eyes and tries to perceive Zoro’s face. After his eyesight adjusts to the darkness, he recognises Zoro staring at him.
„You mean… this?“ Sanji holds the cigarette higher and when he doesn’t get an answer, hesitatingly brings his hand closer to Zoro between two of the prison cell bars. He feels Zoro’s fingertips brush against his own as the sturdily built man takes the cigarette from Sanji’s lean fingers. Sanji watches in curiosity how Zoro brings the butt of the cigarette to his lips and takes a drag, and he fails to suppress the cough that fights its way up his throat. Sanji snickers.
„Damn it. That was embarrassing. I’m not used to this anymore“, Zoro croaks, his deep voice sounding even more husky than usual.
„You used to smoke?“ Sanji asks incredulously.
„Back then when I was growing up. Thought I’d be cool, but I actually hated it.“
Sanji was surprised to hear himself laughing softly with a hint of affection. Zoro hands the cigarette back to him.
„Turns out my old sensei hated it too, when he caught us one day.“
„Bushido is all about discipline, isn’t it? Did he kick you out?“
„Me? Nah.“
Sanji takes another drag and shakes his head slightly at how offended Zoro just sounded. That arrogant sack of shit. There’s no chance he’ll ever meet a man more full of himself than Roronoa Zoro, he thought.
„Typical Scorpio right there, aren’t we?“ Sanji mumbles.
„You believe in that bullshit?“
„So far much of it has proven to be true.“
Zoro snorts. „Whatever, curly brows.“
Sanji fumbles with the cigarette a bit before he reaches it back to Zoro. „Quite a welcome my family provided to you“, Sanji says while doing so. „They’re pretty shitty hosts. They should’ve lived on the Baratie. Zeff would’ve taught them some manners.“
Sanji looks down on the floor, ashamed, angry. He sees the cigarette glimmer from the corner of his eyes and hears Zoro exhale a moment later, a wave of smoke washing over his face.
„So what’s your plan, cook? You’re gonna let me rot here and marry your dumb little princess?“, Zoro asks with a crooked grin.
Sanji puffs. „Oh no no, that shit’s not working on me. You can stop being a provocative asshole. I’m gonna tell you everything you want to know.“
„I don’t give two shits about your family or that girl“, Zoro rumbles. „If you think you can earn my sympathy with a sob story of your upbringing, you should know me better.“
„I don’t want your sympathy“, Sanji snarls. „I just want this to be over with and help you escape, if not for you, then for the sake of the others.“
„And what is it you‘re going to do? With them?“
„They laid hands on one of my nakama, they gonna pay for this.“
Zoro sneers. „We’ll see about that. I don’t think you’d stand a chance. Those armours they wear seem to give them great power. They were holding back.“ Zoro takes another drag and Sanji tries to scan Zoro’s body for any more damage.
„What did they do to you?“ he asks then as he fails to see anything.
„Doesn’t matter“, Zoro simply replies as he gives back the cigarette.
„To me, it does. These absolute shitheads are my brothers. They‘ll reap what they sowed.“
„Revenge is a fool’s game“, Zoro calmly states. „If you get invested in revenge, you’re gonna lose your focus.“
„Yeah, I’m sorry I’m not a cold, unemotional bastard like you.“
Zoro watches Sanji taking another drag, but remains silent, and his blank expression makes Sanji indescribably angry.
„What the hell is going on with you?!“, he shouts. „You just sit there and don’t talk back to me. You just sit there and practically wait for them to come back and beat the living shit outta you! How‘s that supposed to help anyone?! You wanna die a hero? Go ahead then, just do it! I don’t even give a fuck! I can just go back upstairs then and tell them to rip you apart, if that’s what you want! You’re begging for it! I came here to see if you’re alright and to make plans how to get you outta here, but if that’s not what you’re interested in, I might as well not give a fuck about you then either!“ Sanji angrily takes another drag and waits impatiently until the nicotine kicks in.
„You’re so fucking stupid“, Zoro blares, and Sanji feels the sudden urge to punch him and under other circumstances, he would. With his fist, and that means something.
„I don’t think so“, Sanji growls through gritted teeth.
„You are. And also, you talk too much.“ Zoro reaches through the bars to snatch the cigarette from Sanji’s fingers. Sanji lets him do it, Zoro looks away and Sanji feels another emotion washing over him suddenly. He gulps, feeling the after-effects of what he just yelled into Zoro’s face, and maybe for the first time ever, asks himself if they still have to be this way, after every thing. He realises that Ichiji, Niji and Yonji aren’t the ones he should call his brothers.
Maybe, one day….
Sanji fumbles with the buttons of his sleeves. He needs to stop that spiral of violence before it’s too late, no matter for whom.
„I’m going to beg him to stop. I can’t just sit here and watch you getting hurt“, Sanji then says. „I’ll tell him what he wants to know.“
Zoro’s head snaps around to look at Sanji. „If you’re gonna do that, I’ll kick your ass the minute i get the chance to do it. You won’t say a single thing. We’re not going to put the others in danger.“
„They’re going to seriously hurt you. You don’t know my bro… these guys.“
Zoro doesn‘t miss the pained expression that slips through Sanji’s masquerade for a short moment.
He shrugs. „I don’t care. I can take it.“ He ponders for a moment to tell Sanji about what happened at Thriller Bark, but decides against it. „The longer I’m here, the longer I’ll drag the attention off the others who are still on the boat. These idiots won’t go after them as long as they got me to play with. If it helps to grant them enough time to reach Wano - fine by me. You worry about your own business. I can take care of myself just fine.“
Zoro takes a long pull before he returns the cigarette that’s almost finished. „Here. You can have the rest.“
Sanji shakes his head, thinking about Zoro willingly act as a distraction. „That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.“, he then says, accepting the cigarette. He watches it, rather than looking at his nakama, who always had a unique way of showing that he cares.
And so, Zoro smiles, almost genuinely this time. „Hey, if the both of us would be going to beat their asses, that would be unfair.“
That took Sanji by surprise, but he recovers quickly and agrees. „We’d stomp them into the ground, big time“, he laughs, until he notices that he let his guard down and he stares at Zoro to check if he noticed as well. Sanji can’t tell. He’s caught off guard by the intense gaze of his crewmate that comes along with a mismatching neutral expression which most likely actually carries more emotions than Zoro lets on. It’s his gaze, the way he looks at Sanji, for a moment. They usually don’t get the time to talk to each other like that, and if they do, they rather spend it on physical fights, bickering and hurling insults at each other. But there it is again, that inner voice inside of Sanji telling him that maybe it’s time to move on from their immature act. Maybe not ultimately, but on occasion. At this moment, he doesn’t feel like bickering. He feels the need to avenge his comrade, not because he was hurt, he apparently doesn’t even care – but because his so-called brothers and father laid their hands on him. Sanji suppresses the range of emotions, the absurd moments of his past, the multiple flashbacks that threaten their way back into his mind, memories he thought he’d forgotten about years ago, but he knows he’s been lying to himself all the time. There is no way he could ever forget what they have done to him, he can only continue to live in the best way possible. Their abusive behaviour damaged him permanently and he thought he knew how to avoid the triggers. Then, he watches Zoro, the prime example of an alpha male, and he wonders.
„You know, I really hated you, when he first met. And for quite a while after that“, Sanji confesses. „And now, I finally know why. Thing is, some people change and some don’t.“
„I have absolutely no idea what the fuck you’re talking about“, a confused Zoro gives back.
Sanji smiles to himself, kills the cigarette and stands up, wiping the dust off his pants.
„Do me a favor and refrain from dying, I can imagine they’d force me to clean up the mess and I really don’t wanna get rid of your stinking corpse.“ Sanji shoves his hands into his pockets, turns around and starts leaving.
„Oi, cook.“
Sanji stops, but doesn’t turn around.
„These guys. They hurt you back then, didn’t they.“
A ruthless, cold bastard, but not as cold and unemotional as he told him he was.
And the only thing Zoro hears from Sanji is the sound of his shoes on the ground, getting quieter with each step, and the swordsman lays down, with his hands behind his head, wondering if he could take the time for a little bit of revenge after all.
19 notes · View notes