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auroravictorium · 1 year

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lavender haze (k.b.)

Summary: when the reader is injured and kaz kills someone for them (oops), they come to a realization of their feelings.

Pairing(s): kaz brekker and reader Word Count: ~1.8k Warnings: mild violence (stabbing, mentions of gunshots, physical fighting), blood, mentions of death Genre: a bit of angst, but with a fluffy ending

Author's Note: this is part of the midnights saga (inspired by taylor swift's midnights ofc) but can be read as a oneshot or as part of the series once i've written more :)) send me requests for kaz if you so desire. only 54 days until season two of sab releases let's goooooo

“This was not the plan,” you shouted to Jesper, dodging a fist hurtling toward your face. Your muscles burned with exertion, and your skin ached with bruises from being shoved down the stairs by the targets who somehow knew you were coming. It wasn't your most graceful moment, getting pushed down hard, splintered wooden stairs. You landed at a guard's feet, to boot. An excellent start to what seemed like such an easy heist: get in, grab the rolled-up canvases of forged paintings and get out and back to the Slat before anyone could notice anything amiss.

"I think I know that," he snapped back, ripping his pistol from its holster and using it to bash his attacker in the head. The guard groaned and slumped to the wooden floor, dazed. Jesper took the chance to aim his pistol at the man trying to lock you in a chokehold. "Can you get him to stop moving?"

"I'm going to kill you if you shoot me," you snarled, bringing your knee to the man's gut and bashing his temple with your pistol. He crumpled, and you kicked the man's chest once he was on the ground. It seemed fair after shoving you down the stairs and possibly breaking your ribs. It ached horribly to breathe, and your wrist throbbed when you flexed it. Sprained, no doubt. There was no time to worry about that because another idiotic guard thundered down the stairs right toward you with two lackeys behind him.

Where were Inej, Kaz, and Nina?

You pulled the trigger on your pistol, taking a nonlethal shot at the first guard's thigh, sending him tumbling down the stairs with a shriek. See? That's how it feels, asshole.

Jesper handled the second one, and you went for the third, going for the arm this time. He howled in pain and clutched his arm, nearly tripping over his feet.

"Where's-?" you began, then your hair prickled on the back of your neck. Spinning around, you were greeted with a bash to the face. You collapsed to the ground, and your head hit the floor with an impact that rattled your teeth. You gasped for air, and black spots danced across your vision. The world spun too fast on its axis. Nothing was in focus. Distantly, Jesper shouted. You thought he was fighting the man who hit you.

Pain blossomed between your ribs, and you screamed. The world snapped sharply back into focus long enough to glimpse your attacker's face, concealed by a black scarf wrapped tightly around his head. His eyes were black as coal and filled with pure rage as he stabbed you, twisting the blade to inflict as much damage as possible.

You sobbed as he pulled the dagger free. Something sharp and metallic was bubbling in your throat, threatening to choke you. It bubbled out of your lips, painting them red and sliding down your cheek. The world around you disappeared, and you floated on nothing.

People talked, there was shouting, then more burning on your chest. Someone apologizing. A hand pressed between your ribs over your wound.

"No more," you thought you said. "Please."

You were dying. You could recognize that much.

As the chains of death fastened themselves around your wrists, cold metal biting your feverish skin, you thought of Kaz. His piercing blue eyes, how his coat looked against his pale skin, the way he brushed his fingers through his hair as he concocted heists. How he said your name so softly that you wondered if he felt the same way you did about him. Fluttery, light, hoping to give him a smile and have him smile back. All you wanted was a smile from Kaz, even if he didn't feel that same fluttering as your eyes caught.

Now you wouldn't even get that.

The world disappeared.

And then it came back.

You woke with dry lips and a pounding head. Your throat burned from a lack of water, and everything around you was blurry from unconsciousness.

You looked around at your room in the Slat. How did I get here? Shouldn't I be greeting the Saints now, not feeling like shit with water leaking from the roof onto my head?

Someone leaned forward in a creaky chair beside you, and you saw his cane before you saw him. He was sitting in a chair haphazardly shoved in the corner. It hadn't been there before you'd died, nor had Kaz. He'd never even been in your room before.

"Hi," you rasped. Internally, you winced. Hi? That's the best you could say? You died while thinking of him, and you can only muster 'hi?' Maybe you could be stabbed again and start this over.

Kaz looked you over, his face carefully arranged into a mask of neutrality. But his hair was greasy and falling into his eyes, and he had dark shadows under his eyes that made him look like he'd been punched in the face. "How are you feeling?" His voice was almost just as blank as his face. But underneath his words was.. concern. He was worried. About you.

Where the hell had you gone after you died? In what world did Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, show any emotion?

"Am I dead?" you asked him. You experimentally tried to sit up, but your chest screamed at you in pain, and Kaz's cane shot out. The tip pressed against the wall beside your bed, and you were blocked from getting up.

Kaz was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "What were you thinking? Why did you try to take all of them at once?"

"Jesper and I had it handled." Your throat throbbed, and Kaz seemed to realize that speaking was difficult. He held out a glass of water, and you lifted your head. Carefully, he tipped some of the liquid down your throat. You swallowed and sighed in relief.

"You nearly died," Kaz said. He placed the glass of water on the ground and stood, removing the cane from where it blocked you and thumping it against the floorboards. "It was reckless." His voice was lined with anger.

Anger sparked in your chest. "I woke up after being out for?"

"Three days," Kaz gritted out, whirling to face you. His eyes were ablaze, and you nearly shrunk under that look. It was so unlike him, usually so cold and stoic, that having that emotion directed at you was startling. But you didn't back down and forced yourself into a sitting position despite the searing pain and stiff bandages around your chest.

"Three days, and the first thing you do is decide to yell at me? I'm sorry I almost died, but I would appreciate it if you could wait to lecture me until I'm not about to keel over from pain."

His jaw flexed. He was furious. Much more than you realized. His eyes closed, and his chest expanded and contracted as he took a deep breath. "You nearly died," he said again. His voice was calmer now, and you found yourself softening. "When Inej and I found you nearly bleeding out while Jesper tried to stem the blood, I wanted to kill the person who did this to you." He inhaled again and turned his back to you.

He was silent for a few long moments. "Kaz?" you whispered. He was within your reach but felt so far away. Especially since he didn't like to be touched, and you didn't dare push that boundary to get his attention.

"I did," he admitted. "While Nina worked on you, Jesper and I followed him, and I killed him."

You didn't prompt him to continue this time. He so rarely shared his thoughts. You didn't want to ruin this.

"Killing him didn't keep you from nearly dying," he said quietly. "Your heart stopped. I thought I'd never..." The words died in his throat.

Your hand twitched with the urge to reach out to him. He was trying to say what he felt, but Kaz Brekker wasn't good with emotions. He hadn't been since he nearly drowned in the harbor.

"You said my name while you slept," he said roughly. He turned back to face her, his blue eyes on fire with something you struggled to identify immediately. Later, you recognized it as desperation.

He needed you to say it. He worked so hard to keep all his emotions beneath the surface that they refused to come to him when he called. He felt them all, burning beneath his skin, pleading to be shared, only to disappear when summoned.

You didn't struggle as intensely. "I thought of you when I was dying," you breathed. The words were quiet, shy. Almost ashamed that you hadn't thought of someone else, like your best friend from home. "I thought of you smiling."

Kaz nearly laughed out of sheer amazement. "You've never seen me smile."

Your cheeks flushed, and you looked down at your hands. "But I want to. And I thought I would die without seeing it at least once."

The room was so silent your ears almost started ringing. Then the floorboards creaked, and Kaz sat in the chair beside your bed again. You exhaled slowly, relieved that he didn't open the door and disappear. It was the worst-case scenario that had haunted your dreams. But he hadn't, and he was back beside you again. It was closer than you'd ever expected to be to him.

"Don't die on me again, and maybe you will see it," he said. He rested his cane against the wall and stretched out his legs. Behind his words was relief. You understood what he was trying to say and felt the same, and you were alive. He had the chance to say this to you. For the first time in a long time, Kaz found himself nearly thanking the Saints.

Your heart leaped into your throat as you looked over and met his eyes. A silent understanding passed between you, and his lip quirked up in the corners, ever-so-slightly. You smiled back and looked down at your hands.

You were on the precipice of something new. It was something you'd wanted for so long that you couldn't believe this was real.

"I'm still going to lecture you for almost dying," Kaz said, breaking the silence. He looked at you seriously, but a glimmer of something danced in his eyes. Despite the threat, you couldn't help but wheeze a quiet laugh.

"I expect nothing less, Boss."

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cyberstrm · 1 year

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exposure therapy

show!kaz brekker x gn!reader

cws: kaz's trauma but not explicit details, spicy making out (?)

"are you sure you want to do this?" you ask gently, your hands pressed against kaz's clothed chest. he was avoiding your gaze, breathing deeply, as if preparing for something unbearable. his dark eyes met yours, and he softened.

"yes, i'm sure."

you and kaz brekker's relationship was, for lack of a better term, complicated. trying to be intimate or romantic with someone who despised physical touch was difficult, but you truly loved kaz, and so was willing to put up with it in the short term. but kaz could see it bothered you, and had to admit even to himself that he craved your touch, so you both decided that the best way for him to get over it was to just do it in a safe environment until it felt okay for him.

you were sat on his lap behind his desk, your legs straddling his waist. kaz shakily removed his gloves, and tossed them aside. he looked raw, vulnerable, like an open wound.

"you ready?" you whispered, lifting your shirt up slightly to reveal the skin of your waist and hips. kaz stared hungrily for a few moments, before tentatively placing his fingertips on your skin. slowly, he added more, until his cool palms were pressed against you. he was breathing in a controlled manor, but you could tell it took effort. he moved his hands around smoothly, taking you in fully.

"y/n, i..." he began, his mouth dry. you wondered for a moment if he was going to back out.

"yes?" you asked.

he looked up at you again, a hunger in his eyes you'd not yet seen. "kiss me."

you blinked. you'd never kissed kaz brekker before. you'd wanted to, but he'd never condoned it. you supposed the exposure therapy was working.

you reached your hand up onto his cheek, and he leaned into your palm, his eyes fluttering close. you kissed him gently, your lips warm against his cold skin. he didn't kiss back at first, but slowly his mouth opened, and he took you in. his hands gripped your hips, pulling you further onto him. when you pulled away, you were blushing furiously.

"that's...that's enough, for today." kaz panted, removing his hands from your skin.

"o-okay." you replied drowsily. you lifted yourself from him and turned away, too flustered to face him. you heard him stand and reapply his gloves, before hearing the cane's tap on the floor, and the office door shutting behind you.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #shadow and bone #six of crows #netflix #x reader #x you #x gender neutral reader #x gn reader #kaz brekker x gn reader

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bulldog-butch · 1 month

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i need you all to know that if your family sucks you’re my cousin now. you’ll be joining me (tranmasc butch fagdyke), my bisexual transfemme older cousin, and my gnc fruity as hell younger cousin <3

#i have other cousins and two older sisters who are also cool but they’re all cishet #my cousin and i came out to each other at the same time lol #he’s only like six months younger #we both thought we were bi at the time #LOL #now we’re both just gender fucked homos #bork bork!

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lesbianprotector · 7 months

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i might get cancelled for this but i find it disrespectful when people don’t stand for the national anthem. personally i think it’s beautiful and i get goosebumps every time i hear "everyone thinks they know the story of dick turpin's highway glory but my past is far more gory, was no saint"

#THAT'S NOT GLAMOROUS THAT'S LAME!!!!!#mat as dick turpin is peak gender envy #horrible histories #six idiots #mathew baynton

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pansy2005 · 1 year

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jenny holzer + g. way #1 // original photo by brooke brzoska

#me art #gerard way #jenny holzer #i’m seeing like six things i want to change but i’m in the car and not at my computer so i’m letting it be #yknow what #gender #jenny&g

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crypticjackal13 · 1 year

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How about a prompt (one shot or head canon, your choice) for wukong and Macaque with a S/O (platonic) who is an introverted pacifist (most of the time) but if provoked can show a display of power rivaling the monkey king.

Funky!

SWK and Macaque x Introverted but scary!GN!reader (Platonic Headcanons!)

SWK - At first he's like "aw sweet person who likes hanging out with me :)" and he's absolutely adoring how nice you are. He's convinced you can do no wrong! But then you get provoked and it's a whole different story. He sees your abilities and he can't help but be a bit intimidated. He hesitates to ask you about it. If you talk to him about it first, he'll be more calm and probably more openly curious. But if he has to come to you, he'll be a little more cautious. He doesn't want another Macaque situation in any capacity, so he treats you as well as he's able to....he still thinks you're fun to be around though!

Macaque - he likes hanging out with you! You just get it. He's introverted too, but even on days where he's a little low on energy he's happy to make some time for you. He likes enjoying some quiet time with you, reading or listening to music. He's generally much nicer to you than others since he feels you two understand each other. When he has an opportunity to see what you're like when provoked, he can't help being a little fearful. After all he thought you were relatively harmless. This new side is a bit intriguing to him, but he knows now to keep himself in your good graces.

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk headcanon #lmk x reader #lego monkie kid headcanons #gender neutral y/n #macaque lmk #monkie kid macaque #monkie kid six eared macaque #six eared macaque x reader #lmk six eared macaque #monkie kid swk #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong lmk #monkie kid wukong #wukong x reader #macaque x reader #platonic headcanons

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catswashorrible · 8 months

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Fixing a Broken Wing. Kaz Brekker x GN!reader

Word count: 1419 Warnings: Minor injury description. A/N: Thought I'd start posting here as well as Ao3! Hope y'all like it. We need more gn fics. No pronouns or y/n are used for the reader! There aren't many physical descriptions either!

The frigid air was harsh on the looming city of Ketterdam. Nightfall broke on the horizon, and the tapping of a cane echoed from an open window. The usual ruckus of the Barrel was dimmed by the racing thoughts of a singular slimy bastard: Kaz Brekker.

You were an investment of his–A sly one from the Menagerie. Your silent nature and singing blades kept you labeled as an honorary Crow. You were sent on a venture for Heleen, but you were supposed to meet back with Kaz at dawn. Since dawn, Kaz had waited.

And waited.

An unfamiliar prickle ghosted the back of Kaz's neck as hours flew by without a whisper of you. You were never late–not for him. The corner of his lip curled into a humorless smirk. Was he so blind to have faith in Heleen to consider keeping you safe?

With impeccable timing, a soft thump came from inside his bedroom. The thumping was followed by a low croak; Kaz could've sworn you were just a large toad. You harnessed the rest of your strength to push yourself up, just enough to slump against the wall.

Kaz paced towards the bedroom, his familiar hobbled steps echoing on the wooden floors. "You're late. You better have a damned good reason for falling behind. I'd like my investments close at hand," His familiar rasp grumbled. As he approached the room, he let his eyes fixate on you. His eyes were like flint as he observed your physical state, his gaze flickering over all of your wounds with expert precision. Your tale had been a messy one, it seemed.

Silently, Kaz stalked toward you, kneeling to your level. He pressed the silver crow's skull of his cane to your chin, tilting your head lightly, cataloging each wound with a veteran's eye. Slashes, bruises, wounds - all painted a sordid story across your flesh. "Heleen?" He asked, nearly deadly silent.

You parted your cracked, bloodied lips to speak, but nothing came out. Your throat was rough and raw. You simply nodded, swallowing thickly as your eyes threatened to close. Luckily, Kaz's cane supported your chin. If your head began to lull, he would use it to angle it back up.

Kaz scowled. No one would hurt one of his own. He always made sure of it. "You survived. That's all that matters." Reaching into an inner pocket, he plucked a small vial from it. He held it to your cracked lips, his voice leaving no room for denial. "Drink. It will help your throat." And perhaps loosen your tongue enough for you to share more. Heleen could wait; his prized weapon came first.

You took in a shaky breath, parting your lips and tilting your head up. You drank the amber-tinted liquid, your face contorting into disgust as it hit your tongue. "Saints, boss, what the hell is that?" You groan, still holding the liquid in your mouth.

A ghost of amusement flickered in Kaz's eyes to see your disgusted reaction, fleeting as quickly as it came. "Effective medicine tastes of punishment," Kaz replied flatly in his salt-bitten rasp. "Consider it penance for troubling me with putting you back together. Now swallow." He uncorked a waterskin from his belt to wash away the bitter taste of ginger and cloves. He held it to your lips, tilting your chin up with his cane. His cold gaze studied your face with keen precision, filing each of your hurts.

Your heart pangs with guilt at Kaz's words. You swallowed the liquid begrudgingly. It stung your throat momentarily before a cooling sensation washed over the tender flesh. You made fleeting eye contact with him, and you swear you felt your stomach twist. "I went to meet with a client near the harbor... I think the old witch wanted to be rid of me," You hissed through bloodied teeth. "I should've known it was trouble. I could hear the rustling of Kruge." You met Kaz's eye again, and as he took a sharp breath in to speak, you blurt out: "Please don't send me back."

He listened to your story in chilling silence. Heleen was a traitorous worm in Kaz’s eyes. Ice ran through his veins as you murmured your broken tale, freezing over some long-forgotten well of mercy. When you finished, he opened his mouth to speak but froze when you interrupted him with a shaky plea. "You won't be," He whispered. The ghost of the broken boy gazed out at you through Kaz's eyes, understanding the unspoken between you two. "I wouldn't send you back if my life depended on it."

Kaz rose in one fluid motion, looming over you like the vengeful raven his reputation had painted. His cane slipped from beneath your chin, causing your head to drop slightly. He stalked over to the small sink across the room and filled a ceramic bowl with water. Gloved hands darted around, grabbing various rags and containers. He moved back to you slowly and silently, gingerly placing the items on the floor beside you. Then, he slipped off his coat and neatly laid it down on the railing of his bed frame. He knelt once more, quick hands soaking the rag.

The silence between the two of you was deafening. Kaz’s slow, shaking breaths would slice through it occasionally, putting your mind at ease. He wrung out the excess water from the cloth and, with a trembling hand, he pressed it to a wound on your forehead. His care for your well-being seemed to trump his fears about getting too close to you. You grunt quietly as he cleans your injuries, but he makes no attempt to be any gentler.

He put the cloth back in the water and rinsed out the crimson substance that’d once coated it. You couldn’t help but notice his encased fingertips never broke the water’s surface in the bowl – A trick he must’ve learned all these years. His dark hair fell over his forehead as he angled his head down to clean off the rag.

He drew a handkerchief from his vest pocket and lifted a small earthenware jar from the floor. In a swift motion, he unscrewed the top and set it on the ground before dipping the cloth into the contents – a soothing salve developed from hard-won experience to ease battered flesh. With a sharp breath, he leaned a bit closer, smearing the substance into your wound.

It stung … and stunk. Your nose scrunches as the scent burns your nostrils. “What is it with you and foul medicine?” You manage to grumble before he silences you with an icy glare through his eyelashes.

“Would you rather be infected?” Replied Kaz, arching an eyebrow at you.

“No.” You stare back at him.

“Figured,” He whispered, the corner of his lip tugging into what most would consider a lesser frown, and to you, a smile. “You’re no use to me damaged.”

Kaz’s hands soon lowered as he finished coating your wounds in the substance. He leaned back immediately and scanned over your face once more. He took in a slow breath before he stood once more. “I will leave these with you to work on any other areas my eyes can’t touch,” He murmured. “I will leave you the room.”

Your eyes follow his form as he stands and runs a hand through his hair. His dark eyes flicker over you with a softer expression now—something underlying. “Very well,” You murmur.

As he turns to exit the room, he pauses and calls your name.

You turn to meet his gaze once more. “Yes?”

“The Crows will carry your name as they do mine,” He rasped. “No force in this world will send you back against your will. You have my word.”

You felt your stomach twist at his words. Your chest was swelling with warmth, or perhaps you were bleeding internally. Your wall was breaking. It was dangerous.

“Thank you, Kaz.” His name rolled off your tongue so easily like honey dripping onto warm bread. You rarely used Kaz’s name – You always opted for ‘boss’ or ‘Brekker.’ At this moment, however, Kaz deserved to be Kaz.

Kaz’s upper lip twitched slightly as you spoke his name. He felt his breath catch in his throat, hearing the way it so easily slipped from your mouth. He tightened his hand around the silver crow handle of his cane. “Rest,” He murmured before he made his swift exit, leaving you alone in the warm lamplight of his bedroom.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #no y/n #six of crows #kaz brekker fanfic #hurt/comfort #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #grishaverse #fanfiction #touch aversion #i sniffled a bit writing this

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