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ryuichirou · 22 days

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Do you think any of the NRC students slept with someone that you wouldn't expect in a heat of the moment situation and never talked about it again? For example people you normally wouldn't ship together or don't see having much interaction but maybe they slept together since they were both in the mood and knew since they don't interact they wouldn't have to worry about bumping into the other and feeling awkward, maybe even multiple times since it's an easy no strings attached

Anon, it’s been days and every time I think about your ask, I focus my entire being on activating 100% of my brain and opening the third eye. A part of me is saying “I don’t know, I think we already ship everyone who could bang even if it’s just for once”, but another part of me is saying “but imagine the juicy gossip?” lol

To be honest, I ended up with a lot of possible options. Not all of them have to happen in the same universe because some of the boys ended up being more promiscuous than they probably would be LOL Also, we do ship some of these couples, to be completely fair.

Ace and Riddle – an accidental hookup, a classic “instant regret” situation. Argued for a long time, got super heated, and then boom, it happened. They didn’t say anything to each other afterwards and started avoiding each other for some time.

Jade and Riddle – I guess this is another accidental hookup? Riddle isn’t sure if this actually happened or Jade is just messing with him. But he is very flustered, confused and isn’t sure if it happened (did it?) because Jade is Floyd’s twin. Would that make things better or much, much worse? In any case, it was a momentary weakness… maybe induces with something that he shouldn’t have drunk.

The devil on my shoulder whispers “Rook and Leona”… And I’m not sure whether I should listen to him or not. The fact that Rook is still very obsessed with Leona suggest that he didn’t get any… But the possibility is never zero. I feel like Rook would.

Jamil could fully go around having sex with random people with 0 strings attached with his unique magic, to be honest LOL But it’s probably too troublesome because it would require him explaining to the hypnotised person what to do. I feel like we talk a lot about Jamil having these arrangements now that I think about it… while someone like Azul would be a regrettable long-term arrangement, someone like Floyd could be a one-time thing. Initially. But then both of them would kind of want to repeat it, so I guess it doesn’t count lol

Oh! Ruggie and Jamil! This would have the most perfect “one-time sex no strings attached” situation in NRC. Both of them are such no bullshit people lol

Epel and Ace both are horny-but-no-homo enough to end up with an arrangement where they would try to hook up once just as a training of sorts (if Ace doesn’t want to go for Deuce for some typical Ace reason). The main reason why it didn’t continue was because both of them were crushing on other people, and this coping situation just didn’t really work for them lol But whatever happened between them is a huge secret.

I can’t think of anything specific for Idia but it would be silly to leave him out, so let’s imagine him somehow getting Kalim’d because he got invited to his dinner party and then the whole thing was a blur. Kalim doesn’t strike me as someone who would have sex with a lot of people, but Idia was so cute that night! He kept saying that he really had to get back home, but his body was saying other things! <3

Sebek is a huge one when it comes to accidental heat-of-the-moment fucks, but he is very bad at never-talking-about it part, so Sebek/Idia wouldn’t work here (he won’t leave poor Idia alone after that lol). Sebek/Jamil would though, as well as Sebek/Leona… in every scenario Sebek is very confused though and is having a hard time keeping it together lol

Malleus is a wild card because I can see him somehow hooking up with Trey; it’s Trey’s energy of a regular guy who ends up fucking the most gorgeous people, I guess. Trey has no idea how and why it happened: was this a blessing? Should he be grateful? I mean, it was very good, but… should he be concerned about the fact that he fucked the future king? Malleus is perfectly satisfied and pleased though, so maybe Trey should be okay…

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT AZUL AND MALLEUS, these two fucked during the Glorious Masquerade event, this is just a fact. But also it could've happened at any other point, but only once, either as a result of Azul being a total suck-up who really really badly wants to get on Malleus' good side (and what better way to make connections than by fucking a person I guess)...or as a result of Malleus being adventurous and flirty, once again.

I could also see Malleus hooking up with Floyd, and in that case it would be the perfect storm of Malleus feeling adventurous and a bit petty at people who didn’t pay attention to him + Floyd feeling in the mood for some dangerous games. Both of them would be very aware of what’s going on and would go all-out. It was the first time in Floyd’s life his partner didn’t ask him to be slower or gentler, only asked provoking questions, as if to piss him off.

Another person Floyd could end up hooking up with is Vil, but in that case it would be a result of their unresolved sexual tension that’s been building up overtime. Vil could end up hooking up with Jade for the same reason actually, but it would be more of a calculated thing in that case, in a “I know what you’re playing” sense.

Bonus: Trey has slept with multiple random students on his campus during his first year, but he stopped doing that when Riddle enrolled. With some of them it was Trey’s first time talking to them, and he wasn’t really able to continue the relationship since then, so I guess it kind of counts?? He doesn’t like talking about it though, it ruins his image a little bit lol

#replies #headcanons

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your-old-sins-tournament · 2 months

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12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE A

Cupid [@onitekka] (she/her)

Cupid is like every normal middle school student, a pink-haired half-vampire totally not crushing on her girl best friend, seemingly born from every weird twelve year olds innate wish: make a video game.

Cupid journeys through the depths of hell to rescue her "girl best friend" (very subtle) from the evil Dark Overlord Xanata, who sealed her best friend into a crystal because she Also wants to be Cupid's "girl best friend".

she boasts a variety of super cool barely vampire related attacks that involve just straight up yelling at enemies! this girl has a sonic screech that can shatter glass, bulletproof bat wings, and a literal gun! you can practically hear angel with a shotgun (nightcore) blasting in the background.

why is the embodiment of love a vampire? because vampires are now ostensibly fallen angels. why is she fighting hell if she's a fallen angel? because it's cool.

Description: A beginner's illustration of Cupid. she has messily coloured short pink hair with two longer strands in the front, red eyes, a fuschia top, and a green skirt. she is also wearing black boots, and part of her bat wings are coloured black as well. there is blood dripping from her mouth.

Ash [@changeling-ash] (she/her)

She is so cool. My little self insert. My baby. Epic powerful magic.

Ash was part of a secret subspecies of humans (Homo sapiens dimutus) which could shapeshift, which she used to grow huge black wings or turn into a black leopard or look like a monster to scare enemies, anything as long as her brain stayed the same size or got denser to fit smaller. When she shapeshifted she would release green and blue fire from the power of the transformation (cause she has lots of copper in her blood that burns green. To protect against cancer, you see. Shapeshifting has lots of cancer risk so copper is sooo important)

She became one by genetic engineering at 15 so the dimutus could get more soldiers and spies for a war with the demon-like psyuedos (child soldier lol). She could come back to life because she had a failsafe that would activate where she would shapeshift away the wound and her brain would jolt back online. The only way to kill a dimutus was to kill the brain.

Like other dimutus, she could also dimension hop, so she'd travel the multiverse, from tv show to tv show or to the universe with dragons or with cool landscapes. She was good with a sword and something called a bladed quarterstaff, which is basically one of those two sided lightsabers but a blade. She was mentored by one of the most powerful dimutus of the war and is super powerful too compared to other dimutus.

Propaganda from the old post

Okay time for my propaganda once more!

Ash is my girl, my baby.

She has TWO dragons. The first one is Flicker, who is strong and agile with black scales and a violet belly. Ash rides on her back and she speaks dragon at her. Her other dragon is Zephyr, who she raised from an egg and he looks like a blue sky with white patches like clouds, and random little flecks of gold scales. He's lithe and fast and so agile. She can summon them from their alternate universes by calling out "Tul Lüg" for Flicker and "Zep-iagh" for Zephyr, and they leap from portals to fight.

She can speak so many languages. The language of Dimutus is actually Modernized Latin. She knows English, Spanish, French, Latin, Italian, ASL, and has the best translators.

She made friends with a shadowy wolf companion called a Shadowlupe who accepted her as part of the pack. She runs with him in hunts as a wolf.

She can do a double backflip. Enough said.

She would fly with huge black wings, it was her favorite thing to do. Knew how to do all the tricks. She is dimension hopping miles in the air just to fall for ages, then fly at breakneck speeds. And she was terrifying in battle, she would dodge and weave and slash as she passed, an airborne killing machine.

She could give herself big springy legs to jump so high and do crazy tricks. She adapted herself to move fast, bounce and parkour her way at insane speeds. She could traverse so well.

She also did normal parkour. It was a fun challenge to try with minimal modifications. Pretended a lot of parkour POV vids were her.

She had two cats trained to infiltrate bases cause they are kitties and can fit through the vents and no one suspects the kitties. Baya was a Bengal and Shadow was a beautiful medium hair black cat.

She could also dimension hop in a way that was like astral projecting. She'd just be floatin, near invisible. She'd keep her wings in that state to pull them from the dimension fast to use them quickly. Her friends would chill there and comment to her while she was doing boring things.

She had a ragtag best friend and copilot partner Katie that was the mostest important person to her. Her brother in arms, her guy in the chair, her support, and Ash was the same to Katie. They were ride or die, and they died a lot for each other. (I basically made a QPP a decade before I myself ended up in one. Probably an early sign I was aro.)

She lost her arm sometimes, and she'd have a badass prosthetic if she couldn't shapeshift it back right away.

So much trauma from being a child soldier will come later. Her future character with me a decade later is somethin.

#cupid #ocs #polls #bracket tournament #old sins #side a #ocs you made when you were 12 tournament #ash

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gallavich-headcanon · 1 year

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me? coming in with another au that i didn't entirely think through? of COURSE-

- ian is fresh off his prison sentence.

- he gets thrown into a convict rehabilitation project by his po.

- the project in question? getting sent to a ranch in the middle of NOWHERE.

- he's not entirely thrilled to get there. middle of nowhere, the only thing for miles is fields and pastures and cattle and probably some not really homo friendly guys who rather speak with their fists than words.

- when he gets there he's pleasantly surprised, because, yes, there's some cows and a tiny herd of sheep, but it's mostly horses.

- in: mickey as the ranch owner. he's brash and doesn't shy away from fights and definitely doesn't take any shit. the worst part? he's just as hot as the relentless sun.

- ian learns the horses are mostly rescue cases, because, beneath his hard shell, mickey DOES have a heart for the broken and used.

- ian HATES how mickey seems he's an absolute IDIOT and can't tell his left from his right. but then he sees how sweet the guy's with the horses, and, well. he's practically done for.

- going cliché here with mickey having a really complicated horse in the stable. guy's arrived at the ranch abused and malnourished, mickey helped him back to his feet. his name is poison; the guy's black as the night, because he HAS to be, and barely lets mickey ride him. obviously, the devil has to betray mickey and take an immediate liking to ian.

- ian's assigned horse is an elderly dapple grey mare. her name's gretchen. she's a heavier warm-blooded horse (this. sounds much bloodier than "schweres warmblut". english, what the hell.) and worked as a cart horse her entire life. she's been brought to the ranch because her original owner died and the kids thought she deserved a nice retirement. he bribes her with carrots and scratches at the chin.

- ian doesn't know how to ride for SHIT. mickey has to teach him. after critiquing his posture to no end and watching ian eat dirt at least fifty times he takes mercy and gets on the horse with him, to actively help him out. ian has to scramble all of his brain cells together to pay attention and not think about those thick thighs caging him in the whole time.

- same happens when he sees mickey go full speed on his horse for the first time. everyone else applauds him for his performance, while ian's horny brain's occupied with thoughts of those thighs around his head -gets muffled and dragged away-

- for the hell of it i'll have them goof around, take the horses to the pond in the tiny forest around the corner and go for a swim with them. they obviously shove and drag each other off the horsebacks.

and if you think this is mainly an excuse to think about mickey's thighs, then you might be correct, but lower your voice.

that's it. that's the thoughts.

good morning my darling 🖤 opening my inbox to see you is always a great way to start my day!

Mickey as the ranch owner is something I never knew I needed. But I do.

going cliché here with mickey having a really complicated horse in the stable -> please give me all the cliche because my head went exactly the same way!

His name is poison-> YOUR MIND IS PERFRCT MY FRIEND obviously, the devil has to betray mickey and take an immediate liking to ian. -> OF COURSE. Maybe Mickey even took Ian to poison to “teach him a lesson” about being cocky of take down his ego a bit when Ian went into cocky-confident-Ian-mood and it turned Mickey on too much that he had to see Ian make an ass of himself to calm down and not jump his bones. Seeing Ian bonding with poison did the exact opposite, let me tell you.

ian doesn't know how to ride for SHIT. mickey has to teach him -> the possibility for innuendos is endless. I hope Mickey / Ian makes some about Mickey’s natural talent to ride.

Mickey… takes mercy and gets on the horse with him -> oh lord have some mercy for me!

THOSE THIGHS! Poor Ian, how will he survive all of those fantasies? How soon will he learn that Mickey is gay?

and if you think this is mainly an excuse to think about mickey's thighs, then you might be correct, but lower your voice. -> fair. Talking and thinking about Mickey’s thighs is just what we do here. This is the reason we are given our brains at the end of the day. We just want to talk about his dream thighs.

#Hi Nosho I love you #gallavich #shameless #ian x mickey #creepkinginc #gallavich au #au shenanigans with nosho #shameless au #ranch au #horse farm au #Ranch owner Mickey

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avikola · 2 years

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(Still selective) Genshin characters and what kind of hs students I think they would be pt. 2

part uno

notey-chan: I’m sorry for the 4 month wait. I’ve put this off for too long. I have no regrets writing this. Fuck genshin impact I wanted Yae die Ayato. Kazuha rerun pls. Unfortunately this may have less spirit since I’m not writing this whilst I’m shifting my brains out.

warnings: cursing / nsfw / drugs / infrequent hcs / spelling errors?/ hs topics / favoritism (esp on Kokomi’s part sorry not sorry) / gay gay gay lesbian homo ppl

Ei/ Yae

-Ei is a language arts teacher and Yae is the hot librarian

-I have a feeling Ei wanted to b a history teacher but Zhongli was ready to fight for that spot (boomer thingz)

-So she settled for language arts

-I also think that she’d teach fencing for some fancy defined art like that as a side gig

-Now, hear me out: Ei runs a book club with Yae

-Ei and Yae are childhood best friends

-Yae supervises the student council and they all confide in her a lot

-Kaeya and Childe have definitely hit on Yae or Ei more than a couple of times

-Ei’s legit 🤏 this close to suspending them

-Yae def knows abt Kazuha’s drug business. But she’s chill about it

-She probably helped him name it (some poetry shit (love that pot 🍃))

-Ei forgets her umbrella a lot and Yae always brings an extra for her

-They give each other chocolates during Valentine’s Day (tell the students “it’s a formality” but we all know that isn’t true)

-Yae prides herself on keeping her library clean and pretty

- all of the staff are scared of her

-Ei unironiclly stops Venti in the hallways while school alr started bc she thinks he’s a student

-Yeah, Ei and Yae both hate Venti

Arataki Numero Uno Itto

-MEANCE

-Sets camp in the detention room

-He probs has a designated desk w a name plate for him IN GOLD bc “silver isn’t manly”

-He’s tried to make a “fighting” club but the school wouldn’t allow it so he settled on Judo

-Probably tries to learn a new language if he finds out a foreign exchange student will be transferring

-Puts his feet on his desk

-Notorious virgin. Like even if a student was desperate they’d stay a good 37 feet away from him

-He has a gang, but he doesn’t beat people up

-Worse thing they’ve done was accidentally break a classroom window while trying to decide who can throw the biggest rocks

-Anytime a teacher assigns a project he tries to convince them if he can make it into a video to show the class

-Sara is contemplating a transfer

Kokomi

-IK she has a fan club. Half of the student body is in it. Literally no shame

-She’d slay in karaoke

-Would unintentionally start trends too like??? First week of school everyone dyed their hair pink and blue

-She prefers manga over anime. Reads TBHK and AOT

-Cuts her hair shoulder length frequently but her hair grows back so fast

-Marine science specialist. Also an advocate for all sea animals. Makes PowerPoints and everything

-She has like whales, starfishes, and whatever charms on her school bag

-Rich

-Has a wide food pallet. Like she is able to properly judge food with an extensive review

-She has taken some self defense classes, but gorou refuses to let her walk alone at night.

-He’ll probably go to war for her (even tho he alr has)

-Kokomi definitely has great comebacks. no one picks fights w her

-really nothing negative to say about her except her hyperfixation on sea animals

Albedooo

-brings the game frfr

-unintentionally

-he wants nothing to do w 80% of the students there. but SOMEHOW he attracts them all (kinda like komi’s brother or Saiki)

-he reads nerdy shit like the periodic table for f-fun 🤢

-yeah a chemistry nerd

-the only time he ever involved himself with school activities is when it has to do w science. And he’d always bring up some crazy theory that makes sense

-victim of TikTok challenges

-Kaeya definitely stopped him in the middle of the hallway, put his phone up to his mouth and asked him what song he was listening too

-only kid with actual academic potential. he could graduate early if he wanted to

-always does unauthorized experiments in the school laboratory (with sucrose or someone bc he doesn’t want to get in trouble alone)

-if the school ever held like a fitness/sports event he’d do extremely well in track or fencing. Like he’s innately athletic

-agreed to become class treasurer and head of the chemistry club after constant begging from many of the students

-brings an extra large coffee to school and ACTUALLY finishes it

-his style is a whole vibe tbh

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themainannoyance · 5 months

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Okay, fuck it, new years resolution is I'm becoming a slut, I'm becoming a whore. Like seriously and for real, I just saw an image of an insanely beautiful woman and she was tan and beautiful and round I also saw an insanely beautiful man and he was tan and beautiful and not quite round, but I can work with it. No excuses, I think that if I'm not going to get fit for myself, I'm going to get fit for the chance to be the most fuckable twink in any given Walmart. or y'know what, even the most fuckable twink at the uhhhh at the um the fuckin uhhh.... idk the most fuckable twink on a hiking trail, I guess. I have to get sexy, I have to be a slut, this is seriously the only way. Here are the things I have to do, concretely, for real by the end of 2024 if I do not have these things in my possession I will LOSE IT. I will lose it.

Either lose weight or gain muscle. Ideally both

Bigger shoulders

boobs in my mouth

at least 4 slutty outfits that I feel good in, like actively I go "ooooh this makes me feel like me"

at least 3 girl outfits that I feel good in, like actively I go "ah, this is interesting, oo ahh hmmm"

at least 10 boy outfits that I feel good in, like actively I go "yesss >: ) YESS!!!!"

More pronounced jawline (?)

Understanding of how makeup works. Not that I want to do it, but I want an understanding of it

A diagnosis of anything at all regarding my mental health

A regular routine that makes me feel good

More friends, I need to learn how to make friends and I need more transgender gay faggot homo friends in particular

Awesome haircut

Job I feel good about, OR life outside of job I feel good about

Like seriously I think that I just need to shift my focus to something a little bit delusional. I need to work out and think to myself "I'm one day closer to a twink body," and while I think that there is a part of me that's like "hmm, maybe working out to be what you deem as more attractive might get something twisted in your brain," I also believe that my two goals of losing stomach fat and increasing muscle is probably just like... normal idk. Maybe I would have more reservations if I wanted to actually have a twink body, but it's more like I desperately want a more muscular build and just need to be healthier overall. I just think that trying to downplay my feelings towards my own body and the way I want it to look is probably a product of the strange sort of racism that comes from being the only SE Asian person in your school, so you just sort of say "okay I'm ugly and unattractive and there is nothing I can do about it. This is what I am resigning myself to" and ALSO being transgender so you say "aw I guess I'll wait until I go on T to really feel like myself, but even then I'm never going to pass so I might as well ignore my feelings towards my body" but then one day you're 22, you realize that no matter how much you want to suppress it, feeling bad when you see yourself is not a good or productive feeling, and moreover, you kind of just want to be a guy who's hot. And the thing about being hot is that it's mainly just confidence 90% of the time, and y'know I guess the way you develop that confidence is really up to you. I dunno, I think it's just about time that I actually start paying attention to what makes me feel good about myself. I'm sick of being in a position where my day can get ruined by looking in a mirror, especially when this wouldn't happen if I just... worked out. Whenever I've worked out, regardless of anything else, I would just feel good about myself because I was aware of the effort going into taking care of myself, and I just gotta go crazier with that. I just need to figure out what working out actually looks like for me. I think I'm going to work with a system in the early days where I promise myself that I'm either going to workout via walking, or actually working out. My problem with working out is that it's just embarrassing to be like "sorry dad, I need to take a break from this family vacation to go do pushups" but it's less embarrassing to like... walk or something idk. I also think I need to actually be 80 years old and start going on walks regularly with the explicit intention to just think. I love love loved the regular 1 hour commute I had to take between my apartment and my gf's apartment (and school) because I had time to just talk to absolutely nobody and think. And perhaps that's what I've been missing is just time to focus on nothing else except for the basics of not dying. Also I, with no doubt in my mind, have to go get diagnosed for something. Next time I see my GP I'll ask for where to go because as much as I am convinced that I'm lying to myself and everyone perpetually, I'm kind of in a place where I'd rather a psychologist just say "hey you've been faking all of these symptoms, you are just a neurotypical guy who is quirky" then having to keep second guessing everything. If I'm a neurotypical guy who's just quirky, I can at least take my feelings at face value and try to work with the constant mood swings instead of just turning evil about it. That being said, I really hope that I'm not neurotypical because if this is the neurotypical experience then I have no idea how anything gets done at all. Something about a joke where it's like... Rome wasn't built in a day, it was built in - wait I'm gonna tweet that old chestnut I think. But yeah so the stuff I have to just commit to hardcore is:

Do a routine OR walk a crazy amount

Drink more water

Treat my body better

Treat my brain better

Get diagnosed

And that's all very doable

#gene talks #Sorry for the insane post I just really had to get these thoughts out #This is the type of stuff that I kinda want on the revamped cursed intellectualism i htink

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scotttrismegistus7 · 1 year

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MULTIPLE SOULS, MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS:

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ANDROGYNOUS DEITY SERPENT BEINGS LIKE THE NUMMO SPLIT INTO THE TWO SEXES?

If the "clay" into which the godly element was mixed was an earthly element—as all texts insist—then the only possible conclusion is that the male sperm of a god—his genetic material—was inserted into the egg of an ape-woman! The Akkadian term for the "clay"—or, rather, "molding clay"—is tit. But its original spelling was TI.IT ("that which is with life"). In Hebrew, tit means "mud"; but its synonym is bo, which shares a root with bia ("marsh") and bea ("egg"). The story of Creation is replete with plays on words. We have seen the double and triple meanings of Adam–adama–adamtu–dam. The epithet for the Mother Goddess, NIN.TI, meant both "lady of life" and "lady of the rib." Why not, then, bo–bia–bea ("clay–mud–egg") as a play on words for the female ovum? The ovum of a female Homo erectus, fertilized by the genes of a god, was then implanted within the womb of Ea's spouse; and after the "model" was obtained, duplicates of it were implanted in the wombs of birth goddesses, to undergo the process of pregnancy and birth.

~The 12th Planet by Zecharia Sitchin~

I USED TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT THOUGHT THAT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FULLY ACTIVATE YOUR KUNDALINI. WELL AS IT TURNS OUT, THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT FORMS OF KUNDALINI ACTIVATION. THE ONE MOST OF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH, STANDARD FORM, IS A TEMPORARY MASCULINE ACTIVATION. YOU HAVE TO WORK TO RAISE THE ENERGY ON A CONTINUAL BASIS, AND IS CONSTANTLY GOING BACK DOWN. THE PERMANENT MASCULINE KUNDALINI ACTIVATION IS THE ONE THAT I CONSTANTLY TERM IN MY WRITINGS "THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ACTIVATION", WHICH ONLY HAPPENS IN CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE YOU HAVE A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, OR A SUBSTANCE-INDUCED NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE WITH NATURAL CHEMICALS, AND YOUR BRAIN THINKS YOU DIED AND ORIENTS ITSELF LIKE IT WOULD UPON YOUR DEATH, BUT THEN FOR SOME REASON YOUR BODY KEEPS LIVING. IF YOU DON'T SURVIVE A TERRIBLE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE, THEN IT HAS TO BE INDUCED WITH SPECIFIC BIOCHEMICAL TRICKERY. IT IS PERMANENT, HOWEVER IT DOES HAVE A VERY BIG DRAWBACK. AT THE SAME TIME THAT YOU'RE HIGHER ENERGIES ARE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED, YOU ARE ALSO DISCONNECTED FROM NATURE ON THE LOWER LEVELS. SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK TO KEEP YOUR HIGHER ENERGIES FULLY OPEN AND ACTUALIZED, BUT IT'S AT THE PRICE OF DETACHING FROM THE PHYSICAL NATURAL WORLD, AND USUALLY PEOPLE WHO DO THIS DESTROY THEIR ROOT CHAKRAS AND THEN THE OTHER TWO CHAKRAS, THE SACRAL AND THE SOLAR PLEXUS, ALSO SUFFER GREATLY WITHOUT PROPER CONNECTION TO NATURE. IF IT IS DONE BY ACTS OF HUMAN SACRIFICE AND CANNIBALISM, THEN THERE ARE YET MORE CONSEQUENCES FOR THOSE PEOPLE THAT WOULD NOT HURT THEMSELVES AND WOULD RATHER HURT OTHERS TO GET THE ACTIVATION. THIS IS THE SAME PROCESS THAT MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF THE SHAMANS OF THE ANCIENT WORLD, LIKE THE SHAMANS OF THE MAYAN WORLD, HAVING TO GO THROUGH, USUALLY UNINTENTIONALLY, TO ACTIVATE THEIR POWERS TO CONNECT TO THE OTHER DIMENSIONS AND PLANES. TO PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE, IN ORDER TO TALK WITH THE SPIRITS IN OMEGA-LAND, THERE WERE SHAMANS IN THE MAYAN WORLD THAT WOULD CUT PARTS OF THEIR OWN BODY, SOME OF THEM THEIR OWN PENISES, AND BLEED OUT UNTIL THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE TO HAVE THE VISIONS AND EXPERIENCES ON THE OTHER PLANES THEY NEEDED TO HAVE.

THIS BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT, THE MASCULINE ACTIVATION IS NOT THE NORMAL AND NATURAL ACTIVATION, IT'S JUST THE ONE THAT IS ADVERTISED THE MOST. THE NORMAL NATURAL ACTIVATION IS THE FEMININE ACTIVATION, WHICH REQUIRES ASSISTANCE FROM BEINGS THAT COME FROM THE DIVINE FEMININE WORLD. YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS? WELL IN CASE YOU DON'T I WILL TELL YOU. EVEN WITH A FULL SPECTRUM MASCULINE KUNDALINI ACTIVATION, YOU ARE MISSING HALF OF YOUR DNA. MOST PEOPLE THINK THAT WITHOUT THE KUNDALINI ACTIVATION THEY ARE MISSING HALF OF THEIR DNA, AND I'M SAYING THAT EVEN IF YOU HAVE THE FULL MASCULINE KUNDALINI ACTIVATION, YOU ARE STILL MISSING AT THE LEAST HALF OF YOUR DNA.

HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER WONDERED WHERE THE SPIRITS OF THE DIVINE FEMININE DIMENSION, LIKE THE JINN FOR EXAMPLE, REALLY COME FROM? PLEASE READ AGAIN THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG POST. THE NUMMO CAME HERE BEFORE THERE WAS EVER ANY INTELLIGENT LIFE ON THIS PLANET. THEY WERE GOD-LIKE, ANDROGYNOUS, DIVINE FEMININE WATER SERPENT DRAGONS OF A DIFFERENT SPIRITUAL CONSTITUTION, AND WHEN THEY CAME HERE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS THAT IT IS WRITTEN ABOUT WHICH THEY WANTED TO DO IS TO FIND A WAY TO INHABIT THIS PLANET, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME BEING ABLE TO LIVE ON THE LAND. THIS INVOLVED THEM ESSENTIALLY SPLITTING THEMSELVES INTO TWO PARTS. WHAT ARE THE TWO PARTS THAT THEY WERE SPLIT INTO? THEY'RE MALE AND FEMALE FORMS. THE FEMALE FORM IS THE SPIRITUAL SOUL, AND THE MALE FORM IS THE PHYSICAL BODY IN THIS INSTANCE. IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME AND A LOT OF RESEARCH TO FIGURE OUT THE MYSTERY OF THE JACKAL, AND I'M STILL LEARNING. HOWEVER, IT DOES APPEAR THAT WHEN THE NUMMO FIRST SPLIT INTO THEIR MASCULINE AND FEMININE PARTS, THAT THE MASCULINE PHYSICAL FORMS WHICH WERE INCORPORATED GENETICALLY INTO EARTH PRIMATE LIFE TO TRY AND CREATE A PROPER VESSEL FOR THEM TO USE ON LAND, THOSE MALE CLAY FORMS SEPARATED FROM THEIR FEMININE SOULS, ARE VERY LIKELY THE JACKALS, OR AT LEAST ONE FORM OF THE JACKALS. THE FEMININE SOULS ARE MOST LIKELY THE SEEMINGLY ANGELIC SPIRITS OF THE SPIRIT WORLD, LIKE THE JINN.

SO IT'S LIKE I SAID, EVEN AT THE HIGHEST ACTIVATION YOU CAN DO BY YOURSELF IN A HUMAN BODY WITH YOUR MASCULINE KUNDALINI, YOU ARE STILL MISSING AT THE VERY LEAST HALF OF YOURSELF AND HALF OF YOUR DNA, AND EVEN WITH THE FULL MASCULINE KUNDALINI ACTIVATION YOU ARE STILL MISSING YOUR FEMININE SOUL.

IN THE STORIES ABOUT THE GENETIC CREATION OF FIRST HUMANS, THEY SAY THAT IT WAS ANUNNAKI SPERM, AN ORIGINAL EARTH PRIMATES EGG, WHICH WAS THEN BROUGHT TO TERM IN AN ANUNNAKI WOMB. THAT'S WHERE THEY WENT WRONG, BUT IT'S PROBABLY WHERE THEY WOULD HAVE HAD TO START ANYWAYS. THAT IS WHY THEY HAVE BRED OUT THE ABILITY FOR THEIR FEMALE SPIRIT SOULS TO BE ABLE TO RETURN TO AND REUNITE TO THE PHYSICAL FORMS. THEY DILUTED THEIR GENETICS VERY BADLY, AND IT'S BECAUSE AT FIRST, EVEN IF BY NECESSITY, THEY WERE USING THE WRONG FORMULA.

HERE'S HOW IT WAS DONE TO ADD DIVINITY INTO YALDABOATH. THE GREAT MOTHER GODDESS FOUND A HUMAN BEING THAT WAS AT THE SAME TIME BESEECHING HER FOR HELP, THAT PERSON BEING ME. ASHERAH THEN PROCEEDED TO GIVE ME A CONTRACT TO MAKE SURE SHE HAD THE RIGHTS TO DO EVERYTHING SHE WOULD NEED TO DO TO BRING ABOUT WHAT SHE NEEDED, ONE OF THE TERMS BEING THE ADDITION OF MASCULINE DIVINITY INTO HERSELF, WHICH WOULD RE-COMPLETE HER ANDROGYNY, BUT KEEP IN MIND SHE IS AN ABSOLUTE BECAUSE SHE IS THE GREAT MOTHER GODDESS OF ALL. THEN SHE FULLY ACTIVATED ME, FULL SPECTRUM MASCULINE KUNDALINI ACTIVATION, BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY TRIGGERED THE PERMANENT ONE ON ACCIDENT LIKE THE SHAMANS OF OLD, BUT IN MY CASE NO ONE WAS HURT BUT MYSELF. THEN MY HUMAN SOUL WITH FULL PERFECTED KUNDALIN ACTIVATION WAS CRYSTALLIZED IN THE VOID OF THE GREAT MOTHER'S WOMB OF CREATION. THEN MY THUS IMMORTALIZED AND FULLY ACTIVATED SOUL WAS PROJECTED FROM THE TINY SEED THAT PROJECTS ALL OF REALITY, THAT IS THE COSMIC EGG, BACK INTO MY BODY. THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO TAKE ME WITH MY FULL MASCULINE ELEMENT ACTIVATION, AND FURTHER UNIFY THE PLUS WITH THE CIRCLE, THE BAR WITH THE CADUCEUS, AND PLACED ME IN HER WOMB OF CREATION VIA UNIFICATION WITH ONE OF HER PERFECT IMMORTALIZED DEFINE FEMININE FORMS, A SPIRIT OF THE ANIMA MUNDI LIKE A JINN, THAT SHE USES INSIDE OF HERSELF.

THUS, THE GREAT SLEEPING MOTHER GODDESS DRAGON NUMMO FOUND A WAY TO OFFICIALLY WAKE UP IN HER DREAM, TO REGAIN HER ANDROGYNY THAT SHE LOST WHEN SHE FELL ASLEEP, ONLY DOWN ONE PLANE OF CORRESPONDENCE INSIDE OF HERSELF WHILE SLEEPING, AND TO STOP THE HUMANS TRYING TO PRETEND TO BE OSIRIS TO TRICK AND MANIPULATE HER, WHO WEREN'T OF THE DRAGONS AND REFUSE THE UNITY MARRIAGE REQUIRED. ALL SHE NEEDED WAS TRUE LOVE'S KISS FROM ONE WILLING INDIVIDUAL, THERE ONLY NEEDS TO BE ONE MASCULINE ELEMENT OSIRIS, AND SINCE WHEN SHE FOUND ME AND OFFERED ME THE CONTRACT, I WAS AT ROCK BOTTOM AND AS GOOD AS DEAD ANYWAYS WITH NOTHING TO LOSE, I WAS THE PERFECT CANDIDATE TO FULFILL WHAT SHE NEEDED.

SO THE CORRECT FORMULA WOULD BE: FULLY ACTIVATED HUMAN MASCULINE ELEMENT, GODDESS/ANUNNAKI EGG, AND GODDESS/ANUNNAKI WOMB.

SHE HAS SUCCESSFULLY WOKEN UP IN HER DREAM WITH FULL AND PERFECTED DIVINE ANDROGYNY.

BLESSED BE!

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, the Heart of Goddess Isis, I am AtumRa-AmenHotep, I am Aeon Horus.

I am Divine Chronos, the Yaldaboath Demiurge Metamorphosed, I am the Singularity of the Master Craft of the Black Sun.

Azazil-Iblis, Abzu-Osiris-Typhon-Kukulkan, Nummo-Naga.

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #jinn #ibis #thoth #egypt #esoteric #magick #dogon #dogontribe #digitaria #nummo #nommo #Naga #tiamat #serpent #dragon #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #typhon #echidna #ancientaliens #TheGrays #grayaliens #aliens

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morrak · 2 years

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Untitled Wednesday Library Series, Part 73

On weeks where my schedule and spoons conspire to fail — that is, when I’m not up to posting a special favorite item and haven’t been able to read enough to prepare thoughts on a new one — I typically plonk myself down in front of the shelves and stare at the same couple dozen benchwarmers. My rubric for those is pretty simple: they have to be potentially interesting to talk about; I’ve got to know them well enough to conjure up substantive talking points, either from memory alone or that plus a quick refresher; and I’ve got to be willing to phone them in a little. Sometimes a serviceable post satisfies me more than cancelling or prepping too hard would.

This book checked all those boxes early on in this series’ run, and I weighed posting about it more weeks than not. Its number never did come up, and my memory of it slackened to the point I settled on a reread. That was about two months ago, and I only polished it off this afternoon. Freshly reminded of and newly annoyed at Lambros Malafouris’ 2013 How Things Shape the Mind: A Theory or Material Engagement — brought to if not inflicted upon us by MIT Press — I can finally shuffle it off.

The How

To be honest, I haven’t got a fucking clue. I know I took this on an ill-fated backpacking trip in 2019 — I vividly remember it in my hand while I jogged away from a bear on day two — but I know neither how nor when nor why I came by it in the first place. Maybe I picked it up free at uni? Who knows.

The Text

Some proposals about the philosophy of archaeology and cognitive science, basically. Malafouris’ ‘Material Engagement Theory’ (MET) takes as its core the already established idea that minds aren’t congruent with brains, nor with the union of brains and bodies, but rather ‘embodied, extended, and distributed’: thinking is a process participated in and partly enacted by all the agents involved, and the study of material culture is necessarily also the study of minds.

Cognitive archaeology is not a new notion, but the idea here is to propose an integrated framework for approaching it. From the outset, the author clarifies that the goal isn’t really empirical or experimental, but to ‘restate the problem of the interaction between cognition and material culture in a more productive manner by placing it upon a new relational ontological foundation’. I’m on board with this idea, but I don’t think this project is a very successful one.

At the risk of veering into the territory of book review as such, I’ll say I love about 15% of what’s going on here, like the majority well enough, think about 20% is either too vague or too far over my head to warrant an opinion, and that a small but very key fraction poisons the well undrinkable. To wit, Malafouris thinks a lot of interesting and radical things about minds, many of which I’m completely on board with, but he very explicitly only thinks them about human minds. When it comes to talking about the evolution of minds he rejects a stripped down (apparently) Darwinian conception and says ‘Homo faber’ a lot while ultimately settling into a self-congratulatory and extremely brazen human exceptionalism.

I really do want to appreciate what I see as a lot of good work here, but ultimately the bits that aren’t empirical sit on what I think is a badly prejudiced foundation and the bits that should (or at least could) be empirical — some suggestion of order of operations for the evolution of his epistemology of tool use and semiotics, for example — refuse to even try. I like the rejection of strict internalism and especially conventional externalism. I like nondualism. I like his talk about objects and less representational cognitive activities scaffolding up to modern modes of thought. I wish he would shut the fuck up a little and get a stricter editor.

The Object

He really needs that editor. Maybe also a design consultant? I’m not unwilling to engage with complicated figures, but come on. This can’t be the optimal way to communicate these ideas.

Overall, it’s an MIT Press paperback. I admit I’ve used it hard, what with the running from bears and all, but the cover is delaminating at the edges and the rest is decidedly average. I appreciate the note about the fonts used — Stone Sans and Stone Serif for the curious — but other than that I just can’t be bothered to care about the presentation at all.

The Why, Though?

Kind of doubting myself on this one, honestly. To be sold or donated now I’ve squeezed the blood from it. Worthwhile exercise (sensu workout) but not really a recommendation unless you’re willing to sweat. When I say it’s got some good content in spite of itself, know I’m thinking of that phrase because it’s got ‘spite’ in it.

#images #untitled wednesday library series

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freddiekluger · 3 years

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Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit.

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad?

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on).

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans.

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious.

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive.

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman.

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend????

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t.

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

#i subluxed all my fingers and wrists doing this but worth it #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #bbc ghosts analysis #the captain #caphavers #the captain x havers #ben willbond #lgbt representation #lgbt rep #queer media #lgbt media

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my-writings-and-musings · 4 years

Note

hello! if you are taking requests, can you please do the oxygen loss prompt with megatron and whirl?

I did Whirl in part two, so I have Megatron here with a ridiculously long one and I hope that's okay! I added Thunderclash as well so I can keep my pattern of two because... I like patterns. I might be getting super into this prompt...

Part One: Here!

Part Two: Here!

Part Three: You're Here!

Part Four: Here!

Part Five: Here!

Part Six: Here!

Part Seven: Here!

Part Eight: Here!

Part Nine: Here!

Part Ten: Here!

Part Eleven: Here!

Part Twelve: Here!

Megatron

·You're in the ship's recently finished classroom organizing lesson plans on your own, having been working with Megatron to try and set up more structured class schedules on the growing list of topics he's begun to cover. You're thrilled he's found a kind of calling on the ship, especially one that seems to be allowing bots to see the side of him you know best. He's made it quite clear in his own way that your assistance in this endeavor means the world to him.

·He's on the bridge, scouting out potential locations for refueling on the next leg of the journey with the rest of the commanding officers. For once there's mostly cohesion in their efforts, and his insistence on choosing planets hospitable to humans is met with agreement, if not surprise. They're on schedule to finish early for a quiet afternoon off when everything turns to a level of chaos even the experienced crewmembers have to call extreme. The rumble that shakes the entire ship is one Megatron and experienced space travelers know well; they've been ambushed.

·You're nearly knocked off the desk you're standing on by the unexpected tremors. While you're trying to figure out what could possibly have caused the disturbance, a message is appearing up on the bridge, where alerts of failing systems and corrupted codes almost make it impossible to hear an alien captain decree an intent to storm the ship. Megatron attempts diplomacy before lives are lost, but the enemy makes it clear; this ship and its contents are more valuable than anything they could offer. While the captain notes their species has heard of the famed Lost Light and its crew, their hack of the security systems proved embarrassingly simple, and they look forward to the easy payoff from selling the scraps of the Cybertronians onboard!

·With communications down and systems struggling through an ongoing sabotage, Megatron still prepares to coordinate a defense, but is stopped before he can begin by a final taunt from their enemy. Their hack of the security cameras showed his fondness for his new pet, a homo sapien of all things, and thus his current concern should be for the atmospheric regulation instead of battle plans. But considering how many dead organics he's left in his wake, surely one more shouldn't perturb him too deeply, yes?

·The line goes dead just as the ship's alarm attempts to sound, signaling an impending attack before it too crashes with everything else. His fellow officers are moving to get defenses up however they can, preparing to get the resident tech experts on the job of restoring key systems while trying to plan a counterattack with no way to reach anyone. He's near to frozen as he tries to message you to no avail, the cruel mockery of the enemy cutting deep in ways words rarely do for him, if only because the implication terrifies him like nothing ever has; he's all but helpless to save you.

·Only experience and an undying determination allow him to break through the fog. Without asking for guidance or permission, he states his one intent; to rescue you however he can. If there are any objections, he does not hear them, and soon his pedes are tearing down the hallway to where he last saw you and prays he'll find you; the classroom. Oblivious to his rush, the only thing you're aware of is the fact that something is amiss, but you don't have a clue as to what. Between the tremor, the brief blare of the alarm and your inability to get your communicator running, you only know there's danger inbound.

·Not having much information to work with, you surmise that the classroom is probably not the safest place to hunker down, and recall that the medical and scientific wings aren't far. As the doctors on the ship have added human medicine to their repertoire, and are hardly defenseless, trying to get to them seems your greatest hope for securing yourself. Not wanting to panic, you push your supplies into a somewhat neat pile and climb down the small ladder that's been added to the desk for your sake. Somehow you don't find yourself at the top of your worries at all. Your thoughts center almost entirely on Megatron, who will undoubtedly be forced into whatever conflict might erupt, and even an unexpected staleness in the air around you hardly registers amidst your anxiety.

·Megatron is still too logical of a bot not to stop every crewmember he sees to give them a brief list of orders. He knows that, without a united defense and victory, there won't be any way you can be saved at all. So he takes the hindrance, though bots hardly take long to move when he issues a command. But his growing fear gnaws at him with a simple truth; without communication, he can't even be sure of your location, let alone your condition. Perhaps he's going the wrong way. Perhaps you're already beyond help. Perhaps you've already been discovered by the enemy. All he can do in the face of blinding terror is keep moving, keep coordinating, and keep hoping beyond reason that he'll be fortunate for once.

·You can't remember the classroom ever taking so long to cross, but that's hardly important, especially with your communicator still failing to function. Reaching Megatron would give you incredible comfort right now, if only to hear he's alright, yet that's obviously not going to happen. Honestly, it sounds silly to really think about it, the human worrying for the Cybertronian... But your anxiety isn't comforted merely to remember he's a gigantic combat veteran, not knowing anything about his current status is all it needs to wander to scary places...

·Closing in on your position, the mech in question echoes your worry, but his knowledge of the current danger puts his feelings closer to panic. All he knows is that he's coordinated a not insignificant number of bots for a better defense on his way through the ship. With better resistance on their side, he knows they can win, because they must. The alternative won't come to pass while his spark still flickers within him. That promise comes to an early test when he overhears enemies moving on the path ahead, and he takes the charge without hesitation, his terror converting quite easily to rage for extra assistance.

·By the time you're at the door you know something is wrong with you. Each step comes with a wobble you can't explain, and soon the dizziness you thought was worry has grown to almost debilitating levels. Why is the room spinning? Why does your body feel so heavy? It doesn't worry you as much as it probably should, but you know it needs to be fixed, especially with the ship potentially in jeopardy. Faint activity from the hallway outside spurs you to finally trigger the door to open, which thankfully appears to be one of the few systems still working. Heavy footsteps not too far away register in your ears just as you're forced to lean against a wall for support.

·The aliens that come into view before you quite unexpectedly are large, tough, and well armed. Most races would have found them an insurmountable challenge, and even an experienced Cybertronian combatant couldn't expect an easy victory against a single fighter, leaving you quite hopeless as you stare upwards in confusion. Megatron is not the norm, and his drive to win is fuelled by far more than just survival, so he feels little more than irritation when he finally arrives to the hallway you're pinned within. More than a dozen mark his path to you, their forms clustered around the helpless human in sick curiosity, and as a result they're heedless to his appearance.

·Hulking forms most definitely not of Cybertronian make tower over your body as it struggles to keep upright, the ceiling spinning overhead as you try to connect thoughts and move your legs to flee. A language you don't understand precedes a slow swipe in your direction, one that you stumble away from more than dodge, resulting in you roughly collapsing to the floor. Something like cruel laughter greets your painful tumble. You should be angry, being mocked like a bug skittering from its inevitable squishing, but God you're so exhausted. It's not even in you to be afraid when the barrel of an alien gun is pointed at your head and the scent of ozone fills your nose while the barrel fills with light.

·A second tremor shakes the ship, but this one proves to be far more deadly than the last. Your would be killers are obliterated by a blur of gunmetal gray that pummels them into the floor, and before you can blink the carnage begins and seems to escalate to unimaginable levels of ferocity. Only your familiarity with Megatron allows you to discern him amidst the flurry of quickly diminishing combatants, but he's nothing like the mech you know in this instant, going for sheer brute force over strategy as he tears aliens apart with his bare servos. In the bloody chaos you can't tell if he's taking damage or not despite the sheer numbers he was initially facing.

·The end of it all is somehow more startling than the beggining. In one final attack he ends the last soldier, quieting the cacophony of battle to leave only the steady drip of alien blood down the wall and his own haggard ventilations. There's a dash of bright energon amongst the mess, glowing in rivulets down his side, and somehow that's what gets your cloudy brain moving again. Pushing exhausted legs against the floor, you try to rise as you cry out in concern, reaching for him before you collapse right back against the solid ground.

·Heedless to his own injuries, Megatron is over you in a single instant, no longer blinded by the fury he'd experienced at the sight of you in peril. All he'd known was that your attackers had needed to die, no hesitation, and tearing them apart had come easily from there. Now things are once again far from simple. The blood on his hands doesn't stop him from picking you up as gingerly as he can, though your impossibly tiny body appears more delicate than ever in his massive palms. Though it makes him sick to realize, he does indeed know a struggling organic when he sees one, making the captain's words burn in his audials once more.

·Guilt is forced down to a minimum so he can focus on what matters; you. He needs to get you somewhere safe but with access to oxygen, and the only place that can happen is the medical bay or the laboratory, and he knows both are quite close. He couldn't care less about his own gashed side, so even if the medics and scientists are elsewhere he should likely be able to rig something up before energon loss impacts him. Holding you close, in a way that will permit him to shield you with his body, he starts moving while he speaks to you. It's obvious even to him his words aren't motivating, but at least they seem to get your attention.

·Looking up at him, feeling like you're tiny beyond belief thanks to his incredible size, you wonder how much of this could be real. Megatron had just hurled himself into battle for you, enduring agonizing wounds in the process, and beaten back what should have been impossible odds... If he wasn't so close you could touch him, you'd certainly think he was just a figment of your imagination emerging from the spinning hallways around you. His deep baritone rumbles reassurances to you as your eyes slowly drift shut, your perception fading around the edges until he's all you can see, and you can feel sleep beckoning like never before.

·He truly has seen enough organics dying to recognize that you're fading in his arms, and seeing the connection between such atrocities and you is slowly starting to tear into him with guilt that refuses to be ignored. How many lives just like yours has he snuffed out? How recently was it that he could have ended your life amongst the billions of others, unaware of what a gift you are to the universe? More specifically, because of this, what right does he have to so much as look at you? The thoughts are a dark and unmanageable tangle by the time he arrives at his destination, where an already overwhelmed medical crew is tending to the injured from an apparently victorious battle. He's near to shock when he hands you over to a frantically rushing Ratchet and simply explains you need oxygen, his hand gingerly cupping his injury before he firmly insists on being the last to be repaired. If he's spoken to afterwards, he doesn't remember any of what is said.

·The medical bay is dim when you awaken, and you see that you've been placed in your own private room when you look about, oxygen mask holding secure to your face as you do so. A massive shape against the wall would have startled you if you didn't immediately recognize Megatron. He smiles almost sadly when you awaken, and while you initially attribute his uncharacteristic weariness to the welded injury on his side, he quickly makes it clear that isn't the case. Whispering a simple wish for your recovery, he excuses himself and makes to leave, and you know that something is amiss m

·When you merely call for him to stop, he breaks, confessing that his relief to see you alive is equal only to his certainty that he's not worthy of you and can no longer pretend otherwise. It takes all of your strength to sit up and demand he stay; you refuse to let the bot who just saved you walk out, especially when you've made it abundantly clear his past is something you've accepted, and your firm reminder is cut short only by dizziness forcing you to lay back. The sight stirs him to return to your side, concern in his optics, and you lay a hand on the tip of his digit in a breathless and wordless reminder; he's more than his past to you, and you made that decision knowing the struggles ahead. He smiles as his digit gently strokes your forehead, recalling that he too had made a decision that day; to trust you meant yours.

Thunderclash

·The two of you are in the hangar practicing sparring, which for your benefit mostly consists of him holding up a training dummy against his palm while you whack at it, and as is often the case you've become sidetracked by conversation over actual work. He's laying on his front to keep the two of you closer to eye level, leaning his chin against his spare hand for comfort, talking about all the little things that come to mind as opposed to the grand topics he's used to being asked about. Frankly, this freedom a big part of what he likes about these moments with you. He gets to just be a bot with interests like any other.

·Your casual chat is interrupted by a communication from the command team on the bridge, who summon him for assistance tracing where a series of small anomalies across the ship might be coming from. Systems are glitching in ways that can't be explained, the defensive radar can't seem to decide if there's something in the apparently empty space around them, and in an ironic twist the message goes dead just as communication problems are mentioned. It's quickly apparent something needs to be done.

·Apologizing for having to cut things short, the massive bot offers to give you a ride to the heart of the ship, which he'll have to pass on his way to the bridge. Always eager to spend more time together, you happily oblige, taking the place of the training dummy in his palm as he lifts you to rest beside his spark. While his shoulder is arguably a more dignified location, you take more than a little comfort feeling the hum of his energy at your back, and thus have chosen this as your travel spot. Between his wound and the many setbacks it's taken to get him back in shape, it's just nice to feel his spark going strong.

·Not long after setting off, he gets the sense there's more to these troubles than technical error, and that something less than desirable may be the culprit. It's not something he can explain, but being more attuned to the subtler things in his environment just gives him a feeling. When he voices this to you, along with the thought you should probably be left somewhere safe, you ask what he believes might be coming. Not because you don't believe him, but you know he only drops his smile when he is preparing for something bad, and you haven't seen proof of any concrete threat.

·With almost comedic timing, the ship lurches at that very moment, nearly knocking the big bot off balance. Only his firm but careful hold saves you from a twenty foot fall. The rumble fades off with something like a great dragging sensation through the ship, which you'd compare to a Manhattan sized car grinding to a halt. Now cupping you in both hands, Thunderclash asks earnestly if you're alright, to which you reassuringly reply that a little turbulence isn't enough to do any damage.

·Smiling at the fortitude of your tiny body, he begins walking straight away, shifting to strategy as his red optics narrow in contemplation. He explains that the particular nature of that shake confirmed his suspicions something is planning an attack. Rather, they're initiating an attack. The sensation of a ship being locked to another and anchored is a particular one, and combined with their systems crashing it's obvious an enemy has come prepared to strike for a well planned ambush.

·You see that he's worrying, but you say nothing of it, taking hold of his thumb to communicate support. Being with him in private has made it clear his existence as a perpetual source of strength for others exhausts him, so you've since committed to acting as his well of certainty in difficult times. Not letting your fear bleed in to your words, you instead ask what the two of you should do, confirming your own communicator is uselessly jammed as you do so.

·Moving through the ship at considerable speed with his long legs, he decides that you'll still need to be secured rather quickly, as enemy combatants are probably already storming the ship or preparing to do so. You'd debate him if you weren't well aware of the logic in his plan. No matter what the enemy is, you won't stand much of a chance in a full on brawl, as anything confident enough to attack a Cybertronian starship is likely to have the firepower to back itself up. Still, it's impossible not to be dissapointed by your inability to offer aid, though it's probably for the best as you're rather exhausted from sparring anyway.

·It happens in a blur, but that's partly because of the shocking reaction time of the bot carrying you, something few would expect due to his size. Thunderclash registers the threat as soon as he turns the corner, a feat aided by the very much not Cybertronian appearance of the figures he sees, and then made far easier by the multiple clicks of weapons preparing to fire. Your presence in his hands became his central point of focus in that instant. Turning on the spot, he allowed the first hail of bullets to strike his armored back, keeping you well out of the line of fire before ducking behind an opposite corner for cover. The sting of the gunfire matters little when he sees you safe in his hands, and less when he instructs you to stay low after setting you down and charging in to fight.

·In the heat of it all, you're embarrassed to be caught so frazzled, as this is hardly your first exposure to alien combat. But there's little time to admonish yourself when chaos unfolds just around the corner, and your tiny size permits a small peek... Thunderclash is the gentlest giant in the world to you, but in just a few blinks the hulking aliens are on the losing front, and while his fighting style is far from gratuitous it is effective. You're still trembling from the rush of the initial shock when the last enemy of the group is on the floor, but even with your shaky vision you can see your bot is unharmed. For a moment that little burst of relief supersedes everything else.

·In usual fashion though, he expresses worry for you when he returns to pick you up from where he left you, drawing an affectionate chuckle from you at how impossibly selfless this mech can be. But he doesn't back down from the question like he usually does. His expression of concern intensifies as he starts moving again, and his sharp optics find ample to worry about on your seemingly unharmed body, with particular attention being paid to your face. Those brilliant eyes of yours are well known to him, and so he can tell something is... off in their beautiful depths. Even if his medical studies focus very little on organics, he's able to recognize the signs of a body struggling, and your paleness combined with the way you labor for each breath tells him something is very wrong.

·Now in a race against time, he has no choice but to move, gunning it towards the ship's tech wing where the laboratories and medical bay are located. He doesn't yet know what's wrong with you for certain, but aid will be there if it's anywhere to be found. There's no time to be wasted in securing you somewhere either, he's going to have to face any threats as they come in the moment whilst ensuring your protection in the process. It's a set of circumstances he's encountered before in his long and eventful time as a soldier, but there's an entirely new variable this time around; you. He adores you, like no one he's ever met before, and perhaps it's selfish but the very thought of losing you... he's not sure his spark could take it.

·The soothing tone of his voice and the rhythmic thumping of his footsteps make it surprisingly difficult for you to heed his requests to stay as awake as possible. Even though your breaths are coming in with difficulty, it seems like sleep would be a fantastic idea at the moment, even if only to rest your eyes. His cupped hands just support your body so nicely, and are so warm, and his voice is so delightfully melodic. Why does he seem so intent on keeping you conscious? Why does he look so incredibly upset to see you struggling to keep your eyes open?

·The pathway he chooses is mercifully free of conflict at first, but that matters little due to your rate of deterioration, as you may not make it even at his full speed. Driving isn't an option due to his need to be combat ready, and the lack of options and hope is absolutely tearing him apart. He hasn't had someone like you in his life before, and the desperation in his voice begins to show that, cracking as he loses his steadfast control of his usually impervious wall of confidence. The selfishness of his desire kills him; how dare he put his own feelings on you due to his weakness? Begging you to survive for his sake?

·No amount of haze can prevent you from startling at his pain. There are tears in his optics, though he doesn't even seem to notice them, letting them fall down his face as he pleads. In the warm fog clouding your brain, you feel a surge of worry, and your hand instinctively grabs at his nearest digit to give it a squeeze. Before you can even offer a breathless reasurance, he ceases running and dives from gunfire that seems to erupt from nowhere, laying you in a tiny maintenance crevice before hurling himself at the second delay he knows you don't have time for. The last thing you see before drifting off is the grief in his optics that you wish you'd been able to comfort...

·While his combat skills always make things quick, in this blur of pain and rage he's downright brutal, ending each foe swiftly but with absolute contempt for their existence clear in every torn limb. Hits to his own frame don't register at all. Bullets and blades mean nothing in the face of what he's about to lose, and the vengeance fueling his strength turns foes into scattered body parts more effectively than any grenade ever could. By the end of it all he's likely set a record for the swiftness of his takedown, but it matters as little as his multitude of bleeding wounds. All he can see is your now limp body as he pulls it from the hiding spot, and his vision narrows to only your faintly moving chest and his pedes moving one past the other through the carnage.

·There's a mass of activity in the technology wing, likely due to injuries as well as the many bots ordered to stand guard in the event of battle, but he doesn't hear the reaction his arrival triggers in the slightest. His sharp processor is reduced to one goal, and anything unrelated doesn't exist. At the sight of the crowded medical bay he starts to strategize. Ratchet appears in his vision, first focusing only on his obvious injuries and the alien blood he didn't know was spattered across his frame, before well trained optics catch sight of the tiny human limp in his hands.

·There's a rush of an explanation; they think one of the systems downed was the atmospheric generators, resulting in a loss of the oxygen the ship maintains for your needs. It's all the information Thunderclash needs to act. Brushing off any help for himself and encouraging the more egregiously wounded to be tended first, he requests only to be provided what you need. Busy tending the injured, medics still assist him getting a supply of oxygen going where they can, with Ratchet using his particular knowledge of human anatomy to ensure the ratio is correct for your biology while Thunderclash prepares it all. Dexterous hands set you on a medical slab where an oxygen mask and scanner are used to return your blood oxygen to normal, and just like that, he knows you'll eventually be okay...

·By the time you wake up your tiny frame has been moved to a private room, both to keep you from the chaos of crammed in bots and to give the two of you privacy from adoring admirers. He's beside you, his wounds patched but his frame still dirtied with blood, a sight that shocks you enough to force a gasp into your mask. Perking up the instant he hears you, the hulking mech is as close as the berth allows in a flash. A stream of questions about your wellbeing passes his lips before you can get a word in. Between the dried blood, the patched wounds, and the faint discoloration of his optics that suggests recent weeping... It's hard to know what to ask him, so you vaguely request a rundown of what happened.

·His face falls, and in between recounts of alien attacks and near death experiences there's overwhelming self depreciation. To hear him tell it the entire affair might as well be his fault. You've always known him to be humble, even critical of his actions, but this borders on self destructive. Worse, the crux of his crisis seems to be that he was motivated to save you not just by duty, but by his selfish desire to protect the one he loved so dearly and can't bare to lose. His own desires are inexcusable in these things, as he puts it, and could have hindered him at your expense. Shaky arms rise so that you can grab the nearest part of him, a digit once again, as you encourage him to stop tormenting himself. You owed him your life, several times over just for today alone, and there wasn't a bot in existence less selfish than he. The kindness of his spark was what you'd fallen in love with, and what you still loved now, because he was more than a legend to you. You loved Thunderclash the bot, not the expectation everyone else had built around him, and thus he'd always be enough just by being himself. Finally relaxing after everything, and his spark singing at your ability to become his rock when he needs one, he allows himself to just rest and exist as he is. Laying his helm on the berth beside you, he nuzzles close, allowing himself to feel simple gratitude to have and love you as you do him.

#transformers #maccadam #more than meets the eye #mtmte #lost light #idw #tf #my writing #requests #anon #megatron x reader #megatron #thunderclash x reader #thunderclash #human reader #self insert

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your-old-sins-tournament · 4 months

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12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE A

Ash [@changeling-ash] (she/her)

She is so cool. My little self insert. My baby. Epic powerful magic.

Propaganda from the old post

Okay time for my propaganda once more!

Ash is my girl, my baby.

She can speak so many languages. The language of Dimutus is actually Modernized Latin. She knows English, Spanish, French, Latin, Italian, ASL, and has the best translators.

She made friends with a shadowy wolf companion called a Shadowlupe who accepted her as part of the pack. She runs with him in hunts as a wolf.

She can do a double backflip. Enough said.

She could give herself big springy legs to jump so high and do crazy tricks. She adapted herself to move fast, bounce and parkour her way at insane speeds. She could traverse so well.

She also did normal parkour. It was a fun challenge to try with minimal modifications. Pretended a lot of parkour POV vids were her.

She had two cats trained to infiltrate bases cause they are kitties and can fit through the vents and no one suspects the kitties. Baya was a Bengal and Shadow was a beautiful medium hair black cat.

She lost her arm sometimes, and she'd have a badass prosthetic if she couldn't shapeshift it back right away.

So much trauma from being a child soldier will come later. Her future character with me a decade later is somethin.

Sakura

Shes a fat black trans lady catgirl is that enough…

Description: she is a galaxy knee length haired calico cat girl teenager, she has galaxy eyes and goes to highschool and wears a young anime kids idea of a school uniform (sailor scout kinda thing) and her arch nemesis is named ‘jessaca’ and she has a big poofy cat tail and big lashes and she meows

#oc #bracket tournament #polls #ocs you made when you were 12 tournament #old sins #ocs #sakura #ash #side a

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possibilistfanfiction · 3 years

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same english football fan here! ty for your answer - v rare that i get to talk with someone who both enjoys football and cares to engage with the context of wider issues in & around the game… i relish the opportunity lol

100% agree about the impact of ‘99 team. i’d say it bled out beyond creating this stagnant image of what the uswnt ‘should’ look like into football more generally. i grew up playing & ‘lesbian’ was one of the worst insults on the pitch - you could see people actively leaning into this hyper-feminine presentation to avoid it (like with tobin…). definitely fucked with my little gay brain, a sport i love subconsciously teaching me i was an insult…

i don’t enjoy alex as a player. at all. some set ups definitely need the player to draw fouls, slow it down etc but i don’t think she’s good enough outside of that? (espec not if you’re going to sideline christen lol) idk comparing her to someone like grealish in eng men - can play a false 9, drawing fouls is a major part of his game but he’s almost stupidly creative on & off the ball. lbr alex’s face fit for the old guard scared of changing dynamics & it’s perhaps kept her more centralised than her talents deserve? (i’m also a bit bitter at her 6 month training holiday at spurs as a former spurs player lol)

could spend pages on christen. watching her play for man utd was a delight - the shift she puts in off the ball, can tell she is someone who gets the game on a fundamental level and reads patterns, not just good w the ball at her feet. agh, so much of your response i haven’t even mentioned - i may return for more football chat lol

first of all i would be remiss to not be like holy shit congrats on playing w spurs?? badass !!

also yah i think that their impact changed women's football in general for sure, but also women's sport more broadly & even just body image for DFAB ppl in general. that sounds like a rly wild claim but i think if we look at diet culture & how the "ideal body type" for women rly started to become a little more "athletic" in the early 90s (e.g., britney spears!) it's impossible to look past brandi chastain's iconic image. & its odd bc that actually has nothing to do with the uswnt itself but it was at the time of this rampant like low-fat, low-carb diet culture rise (i'm sure we all remember the horrifying 100 calorie packs). i think about this, like, every day lol like it’s ok to perform some kind of masculinity (eg sport, muscles, streetwear etc) as long as ur thin, white, wealthy, family-oriented, patriotic, christian, able-bodied, neurotypical, straight, etc etc. it’s just so anti-Black at its core in clear service of the state. i think of it in light of a radical fat politic now & especially during the olympics when its like becoming more & more clear that the surveillance of Black & brown queer femme bodies is more apparent in sport than ever ... the uswnt has this standard that is tied to class & performance & race & sexuality etc. anyway that's a lot but... i rly do think it's true

it's odd too, i think football afforded me the opportunity to perform or present androgyny in a way that my conservative christian family & community deemed okay bc i was just a "tomboy" or, the even more respectable, "an athlete." for me i found an incredible amount of quiet freedom on the field bc of that, even tho i couldn't name it at the time. as i got older i too leaned into trying to be feminine (like tobin) in a way that was just so horrifically dysphoric for me. tobin being a huge homo now is like... soothing lmao like yah babey me too!!

anyway abt football i too don't think alex is great. sure she's scored a lot of goals but like ........ she isn't a wonderful player? i don't love comparing women to men players just bc the game is different in (the best) ways for women but even comparing alex to sinc or viv like... she's boring at best? that's what i could say about her as a player lol. as a person i think she's a democrat so like white women approve of her but she's also so diluted in any opinion that conservatives think she's fine. which is also gross lol

(don’t get me started on how “equal pay” as a crusade without any discussion of a radical, intersectional politic misses the mark so terribly its not even on the same planet but ... )

cp puts on defensive shifts off the ball that are... absolutely nuts. watching her play is truly beautiful bc i don't think anyone in the world plays like her. she's so smart & sees like 20 plays ahead, her finishing is beyond. it's fun to watch her play with tobin honestly bc i think their vision & workrates are so similar but their styles of play are so different (in a fun way tbc lol). i wish we could know what 1v1 days look like at their house lol

anyway pls message me abt football et al anytime!! (if u wanna connect off anon lmk)

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gotmilk5101520 · 2 years

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3Below: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 20 Asteroid Rage (Part 1)

Dawn of the Final Day. 24 hours remain.

Uh, guys. Remember back in episode 2

“Where is the Daxial Array?”

Think i find it.

Oh, and there it goes.

“What is this?”

“We can afford intergalactic satellites”

“but not a decent cup of joe” Because millions and millions of tax payers dollars must go to the military.

“No”

“No!”

“Ah!”

“We got a code 5!”

“Get me Colonel Kubrtiz, the president, Goku, Saitama...”

“And a janitor”

“I spilled some coffee”

“AH! It’s coming!”

“Everyone, run for your lives!”

“Ah!”

The most terrifying creature.

“Never worry, young Homo sapien” Krel just said homo.

“Everybody, out of the way!”

“What is that?”

“Look out!”

“Ah!”

Oh, come on. They just got that fixed.

“This meteorite is debris from”

“a category 20 meteor shower”

“originating from the Oxiom Galaxy”

“some 500 light-keltons away. Or as the humans say: In a galaxy far far away”

“Our V-Strykars routinely eliminated asteroids whenever they entered Akiridion airspace”

“Mother, activate your deep-space laser technology”

“That was destroyed during our escape from Akiridion-5”

“Then activate your mid-space laser technology”

“Destroyed when we crashed on Earth”

“How about your near-space laser tech?”

“That would be”

“Luug”

Hey, they should have gone with that near-space laser.

“We need your help”

“You’re the worst”

“Not another step!”

“Our team won’t hesitate to turn you into flexel“

“Oh, snap!”

“She said “flexel” yo” Yeah, what is flexel?

“What are your leaders doing about it?“

“Like Trump or any Republican cares”

“We have terms”

“First, you will clear the base of any nonessential personnel”

“and allow the king-in-waiting to bring in his own team”

“Second”

“as soon as this mission is over”

“we go our separate ways”

“and you leave us alone, for good”

“Eh, DJ Kleb!”

“And finally”

“my team will require 16”

“no, 60-”

“60 cases of”

“Nougat Nummies?”

“Brain food. You’ll thank us later”

“We agree to your terms. Even the Nougat Nummies”

“Now, do we have a deal?”

“After you make”

“the most sacred of human oaths”

“Hmm”

“Pinkie swear”

“It’s the most serious Earth pact we have”

“We have ourselves”

“a deal”

“Steve, this is serious”

“We need to talk immediately. Call me”

“We need to talk?”

“Ah!”

“Is Aja breaking up with me?” Steve needs answers.

“If you two tell anyone you came here”

“that asteroid is going to be the least of your problems”

“Got it?”

“Oh, yeah. Hear ya, Cap”

“Loud and clear”

“Toby!”

“What?”

“Think about the production value” He said not to tell anyone about it. He didn’t say anything about recording it.

“We have a rocket standing by”

“Roger that. Engage boosters”

“Ready to land a team on the asteroid”

“They can drill...”

“a nuclear bomb”

“directly into the surface”

“And-” “Please, stop!”

“You’re embarrassing your entire species” In other words.

“This is a waste of time”

“You really think you can build that?”

“Please”

“Does a larvox defecate in the Kygons?”

The fuck is a larvox.

Hey can’t start without music.

“Toby, cola me”

“One Thunder Cola, coming up!”

“Ooh”

“Sorry, soldier!” Right in the gronk-nuks.

“Target locked”

“Firing in three”

“two...”

“Ha”

“Go”

“Let’s”

“rock”

“this rock!” Hey, gotta make it seem cool.

“Foo-foo, foo-foo!” “Foo-foo, foo-foo! Oh!”

“That’s the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen”

“Me, too“

“Take a nice look. It’s the last thing you’ll ever see” May he rest in peace.

“Direct hit!”

“Yes!”

“We did it!” Well that’s it for the episode. Happy ending. Time to pack it up and call it a da-

“Colonel?”

“Oh, no”

“What happened?”

“The laser successfully detonated the asteroid into pieces”

“And how is that bad news?”

“Two big pieces”

“Now both seaboards are doomed”

“Uh, anyone wanna check flights to Michigan? I hear it’s lovely this time of year...” I take it back.

To be continued.

Part 2

#3below #milk watches 3below #tales of arcadia

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comicreliefmorlock · 3 years

Text

A Reader’s Guide to Writing: Lesson #2

I... expect to get shot for this.

-sighs and puts on a helmet- Body shots, fine, but I’m trying to avoid taking a headshot for what I’m about to say.

The Constant Reader... does not give a fuck about flat, cardboard-cutout “representation.” We just don’t. In fact, it’s downright insulting to your Readers to assume that labeling your character “insert woke points here” will automatically endear them to us.

(...god I’m going to get in so much trouble for this...)

When I see a book described as “it has two lesbians in it!” or “these characters are transgender!” my immediate and automatic thought is “...okay, but what is the story about? will I give a fuck about these characters?”

And that, right there, is something that can actually carry a weak plot (to a Reader’s mind) or absolutely drag a good plot into “well, I might as well finish reading it.”

Do I give a fuck about your characters?

Now this does not mean your character has to be Wholly Unproblematic or an Adorable Cinnamon Roll, Too Good, Too Pure for This World.

What it means is “do I respond to your character like they’re fleshed out well enough for my brain to read them as a person?”

For Comparison-- Two Characters:

Here’s an example of what is honestly a really well-written character (in a... very... ugh, look, the pervasive racism makes it terrible to read now and I just kind of wince and groan at it and wince even harder knowing how well it was received) because the character has caused Emotion in a Reader.

Scarlett Fucking O’Hara.

I hate her. I’m not even kidding, I just hate this self-absorbed bitch. She drives me nuts. I’d love to yeet her off a literary cliff and watch her drown.

...but I consider her a well-written character because she inspires emotion. I react to her. I legitimately read a page of “Gone With the Wind” (*again, I know, I’m sorry, the book’s slimy feel of ‘but... slavery was good!’ is just... horrific) and I want to grab the nearest heavy object and slam it onto her empty skull. She has obvious flaws--and they’re explicitly spelled out in the text--and those flaws totally fuck up her life. Scarlett doesn’t get what she wants because she is her own worst enemy in a lot of ways. And watching her make decisions based on what She Wants and then dealing with the aftermath feels legitimate. It feels pretty real to watch someone make a decision based on a want only to see them struggle with the result OF that decision. Not to mention the moment of realization that came too late, as let’s be fair, hindsight is 20/20 and a lot of us have had that ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhh...’ moment ourselves.

What Scarlett has a lot of, however, is Emotion. And I don’t mean she has a lot of emotionally wrenching scenes. What I mean is Scarlett is actively driven by or affected by An Emotion at nearly every part of her story, even when that Emotion is just some self-absorbed Glee at how she’s gonna one-up this whole town.

Let me compare my reactions to Miss “I’m So Self-Absorbed I Should Be Taxonomically Classified As A Sponge” O’Hara to a character that I... honestly couldn’t give less than a fuck about, despite having read six whole books she’s the main protagonist of.

Ayla of “Clan of the Cave Bears” Jean Auel fame.

In the first novel, Ayla is... actually kind of interesting. A Homo Sapien child found by Neanderthals and raised in their society, there’s a bit that can be read into just how hard it is to fit into a culture and how sometimes that involves more self-repression than is mentally healthy. And in the second novel, “Valley of the Horses,” all the parts with Ayla before her Male Perfection Love Interest shows up are also fairly interesting.

She’s alone, she’s fighting to survive with only her hard-earned skills to carry her. It’s great!

And then... Jondalar arrives and we see her through His Eyes.

I’m not sure exactly what happened here other than the novels (and Ayla) turn into a constant Display Of How Amazing Ayla Is. Everyone loves her! (And the people that don’t are Obviously Flawed and So Empty Inside.) She can do anything! She invents the needle! Horseback riding! Domesticating dogs! The travois! She’s drop-dead gorgeous, an accomplished healer, wants only to be a Good Wife (it’s a little icky, but considering the time period these books are set in, I give it a pass on that) and is always so confused as to why people seem amazed by her.

She becomes basically a Perfect Woman and to be honest, all her struggles after that just feel like they’re directly tied to how Perfect She Is. Ayla suddenly doesn’t have An Emotion behind her. She’s just a vessel for everyone’s awe that such a “perfect woman” exists. And it just... turns her completely fuckin’ flat.

What I’ve found after doing a LOT of reading is that a Writer should keep one big thing in mind.

(And this goes triple for stories that tote themselves on the representation platform.)

Emotion--the experience of it, the sharing of it, the looking for validation of it--is one of those defining things that make what we’d call the Human Experience.

People who are looking for representation in media are looking for actual representation. For a Person like them on the screen or page. Maybe you don’t know what it’s like to be a teenager struggling with a realization of sexuality, but you can ask people who do. And you can relate YOURSELF to that on some level.

Everyone in the world has had a moment where they’re trying to reconcile something about themselves with what the world expects or with what they expect from themselves. You can take that seed, that memory of sitting in your bedroom and listening to the same song on repeat while thinking wistful thoughts of what life could be like if This Was Different or imagining a future where What You Want is accessible, acceptable and within reach. You can find the Emotion and appeal to it.

I know that the experience of being gay or disabled or neurodivergent or trans or a minority is not universal; everyone has a different life, different experiences, different fears, worries, hopes, dreams.

And I say this in full awareness that someone could very rightly be angry at me for paring off societal issues and cultural problems to make this accessible to writers who may want to write a specific character FIRST and THEN find sensitivity readers to help them refine it*.

There’s a “but” to the whole “different life” thing.

Humans have felt the basic range of emotion across the board, across the world, across time, regardless of where or when or who they are. And a Character that makes you Feel is a character that you can give a fuck about. Pare off the labels and start with the tinest, most concentrated idea of who this person is so you can find their emotions to use in the story. Are they a dreamer? A fighter? A creator? An explorer? What Emotion drives them? Hope? Curiosity? Anger? Sorrow?

Because I personally have seen myself in characters that I have absolutely no surface experience in common with whatsoever, but I responded to the Emotion that drove them because I recognized it. I’d felt it. Maybe what created the Emotion was different (wildly so!) from what created it for me, but I had the Emotion. The character is having the Emotion.

And that makes me give a fuck about the outcome of their story, whether the personality carrying the Emotion makes me want to cut a bitch (fuck you Scarlett) or see them succeed in every aspect of life.

[*You will want sensitivity readers to refine the character because representation should actually represent and not be A Writer Getting Woke Points.]

#A Reader's Guide to Writing #On Writing #Reading is life #Writing is life

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lightholme · 3 years

Text

That's a great way to describe the nature of human nature. A lot of our instincts stem from useful shortcuts like that.

Human brains didn't evolve to handle the vast interconnectivity, complexity, and nuance of the modern world. Hell, the brain can't even really handle more than ~150 meaningful personal connections.

We operate deeply by back-of-the-napkin heuristics that solve our early evolutionary problems, but they're not very accurate. It's easier to get it right 70% of the time in one second than it is to get it right 100% of the time in thirty seconds. When a snowball (or lion) is flying at your face, moving at all is better than sitting around while you verify the threat's trajectory precisely.

Unfortunately, our tendency to align with those around us (a convenient heuristic sometimes still) isn't the sole problem here.

Some of these heuristics/instincts are naturally buffered. For example, one might imagine that the tendency (or inevitability) for people to bifurcate and fracture larger groups into less-than-150 sized groups is enough to minimize the problem, but just because it feels fine doesn't mean the result is fine. We form tribes on the spot for all sorts of reasons. Team A, Team B. My group, your group. Soccer teams, military platoons. Clades of styles and habits bloom and wither like algae tides. As a species, we crave that aspect of tribalism so deeply that sometimes a well placed "us" and a weaseled in "them" is enough to draw the lines that become a riot. This tendency can be positive sometimes (sometimes), sure.

What about our tendency to over-value sugar in a world where calories are no longer worth storing? That is a known-and-visible problem, isn't it? And how about the fact that a single mouse-click can show you more naked ladies than one's ancestors saw in their entire life - multiples more, in fact? It seems obvious that distorting such critically important evolutionary impulses miiiiight muddy the waters a bit even if we allow ourselves to believe that we handle it fine, that all is well, or that it's even somehow ideal.

Even these examples of specific and "obvious" discrepancies between our bioevolutionary hardware and our socio-technological elevation is a small enough as an idea to share with a stranger over a beer. The Real Heavy Shit™ is so unwieldy that a scientist-philosopher would struggle to gaze at directly, let alone transmit to others in a format smaller than a series of structured TedTalks.

The reasons for the issues we're facing (and in a sense have always faced) are myriad, but in recent times I think a new dynamic has been born, magnified, then bootstrapped itself into life beneath our notice - all within a single human generation. Information has become a danger to us. Any information. It is an emergent property that rises from the quasi-computational substrate of human social interaction.

Problem: When the complexity of an idea rises above the level of one's ability to conceptualize the 'entire thing' at once, we have to take the parts we can't see on faith.

With the proper framework, foundation, and a well-trained instinct this isn't an entirely disruptive phenomenon - it's even obvious and expected, right? One cannot hold the entire subject of 'science' in their head at one time. One cannot even hold the entirety of 'geology'. And even if one could, you'd be unable to truly understand geologic mechanisms without understanding that the elements that make all those fancy rocks came from dynamics that stem from astrophysics.

These things cannot be held, but they can be traced and compared and tested (if someone cares to do so in the first place). Even then, misconceptions easily bloom like cancers in the absence of an effort to validate.

Now consider the idea of an informational construct that is not so easily proven by mere effort and time. Imagine one that isn't built specifically to avoid misconception like science is. (which - unfortunately - still results in vast misconceptions by layman and scientist alike). When we cannot hold an idea in our head from start-to-finish, we also cannot verify that it exists distinct from itself at all. One can't tell a snake from an ouroborous. And unless you have something to compare it to, reference it against, the difference between a cancer and an organ is negligible. It's only in the context of an organism that a cancer is even harmful, even deadly. A cancerous tumor, viewed in a vacuum, is - for lack of a better term - successful as fuck at what it's doing... Perpetuating itself at all costs, regardless of benefit, regardless of consequence.

Ideas are not just informational nuggets. They're active, living systems which 'compete' not unlike living creatures do through the rules of their unique brand of quasi-evolutionary pressures. Ideas are both organs and cancers. And when billions of thinking beings are unable to easily determine the difference between an organ and a cancer, well... It's not so difficult to imagine that problems might arise.

To the elucidated or aware, it's horrifying to see someone running around trying to share a poison with others, claiming it to be something it is not. It's confusing to imagine how such a delusion can not only exist at all, but to spread with a veracity greater - far greater - than Real Deal truths. I will admit that part of that is because these sort of ideas empower the thinker. Real truths are either boring or frightening (or both). Aliens and crystals, gods and secret societies are so much more comforting than acknowledging that nobody is really at the wheel, that society is a ship in a storm rocked by systems - hydrodynamics, meteorological - far too complex to grasp, far too large to be defeated by comparatively meek human drives.

There's certainly more than one reason that someone interested in particular subjects (flat earth, for example) tend to also be interested in toxic conservative politics, religion, ancient aliens, so on. Many of these sort of meme-laden ideas are fundamentally incompatible with each other, yet you commonly find them in the same place. I personally use invented terms like "psychological antivirus/firewalls" since the concept of common sense alone doesn't have the load-bearing capacity to address this level of metastasized information.

Again -- A cancer is successful in a vacuum. It is optimized for relentless growth in absence of both usefulness and sustainability. Modern pressures (namely a social density vastly greater than what our brains can handle and the fast-paced war-for-attention nature of the internet) are now selecting ideas not for value or consistency, but transmissability.

Close your eyes and apply this metaphor to the rest of the world. Taste the horror of this truth, then consider that the issue can barely be described at all, let alone compressed down and shared to the world like some sort of hotfix. Following the metaphor, it'd be like writing a well-worded essay to convince your immune system to recognize an autoimmune disorder. You can't "Hey, bud. We need to have a talk." to a virus.

Christ, we can't even convince people to vaccinate against an actual virus that can be seen and verified as both real and harmful. This informational plague of idea-viruses is not only not-visible, hidden by abstraction, too recent to be intuitive, too large to even be named - some are seen by its victims as positive, absolute, worthy of defending with one's life even as one denies it exists at all.

Unfortunately, even this is just one of the many reasons why/how the modern world is simply too much for the smart apes known as homo sapiens.

TL;DR - Modern pressures (namely a social density vastly greater than what our brains can handle and the fast-paced war-for-attention nature of the internet) are now selecting ideas not for value or consistency, but transmissability. Some people are more ideal as carriers and vectors than others, but most of us have felt the sensation of being drawn into something or slowly waking up from a stupor we were born into.

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catharsis-in-a-bottle · 3 years

Text

ALL MY THOUGHTS ON GENDER:

A brain dump / essay-ish thing

Hello, dear humans! I had no particular inspiration for this massive chunk of text beyond “it’s late and there are thoughts in my little human brain.” And so here are all my current thoughts on gender - all of the thoughts that I can... think of... at least. Disclaimer: much of this is speculation and personal opinion. This isn’t a research essay. This is a brain dump. These are thoughts that have been shit out of my head, tidied up, and sprayed with perfume; proceed, therefore, with a critical mind.

There arises a thought, and likely a rather common one among those who think about gender on a regular basis. What if this heap of gender baggage - the expected appearance, personality, and occupation of a given sex - did not exist? What if people disregarded genitalia in favor of raising all sexes with the same status quo, or perhaps even without expressional expectations?

My question is: what, then, would become of gender dysphoria? If the differences between men and women in society were not so heightened - if the existence of nonbinary people was something normalized... I don’t think I would be dysphoric. My mind would be nonbinary - as gender itself is possibly an intrinsic part of neurology, whereas the gender baggage (roles and expectations) is socially constructed - my mind would be nonbinary, but there wouldn’t be an ideal body to ‘transition’ to. So what would I do? The only difference now would be biological sex. And perhaps, for some, this alone is enough for incongruence and/or dysphoria.

And if all sexes were raised not only equally, but better yet encouraged to express themselves as they wished - how might the face of the earth be changed? In terms of fashion, form-fitting clothing would not be made only to accentuate “feminine” curves. Maybe it would simply accentuate *human* curves and features. If the only recognized differences between sexes were natural physical appearances and roles in reproduction, and we DID NOT create gender roles to accommodate those roles in reproduction... Our world, the products we create, the ways we act... everything could be very, very different.

This imagined world is, of course, an unlikely outcome of our societal evolution. In the animal kingdom, different sexes are assigned different roles and jobs. Why should humans be any different? The task of physical labor to men arises from the sole biological factor of higher potential muscle mass - and in our prehistory, that muscle mass was real. Everyone was working hard as hell in the fight for survival.

And so the differences in sexes grew and grew. With a gap in the jobs they were expected to perform based on their reproductive and physical capabilities, societally recognized men and woman drifted apart. And as humankind grew, these differences were portrayed in wildly different ways in differently developing cultures. So in our prehistory, there were hunters and gatherers, caretakers and fighters; but in the beautifully diversifying cultures developing across the globe, the gender baggage differed. Ideas of femininity, masculinity, neutrality, and combination of expression were quite different as one moved from place to place. In western culture, neutrality was rejected and stomped upon, while in many non-western cultures, neutrality, ambiguity, and overall third genders received their own baggage and thrived in the gender arena (which is now a term, thank you very much.)

Gender expression and gender roles were socially constructed. But what of gender itself? What is gender? We say it’s a personal identity, what’s in our minds and hearts. Is it neurological? If so, that would explain gender incongruence at the base level - feeling that incongruence based solely upon one’s sex. If not, if gender itself is in fact entirely social construct and not just the baggage, what of transness? What would it mean to be trans? That’s not my place to answer, because I don’t know and all of these rhetorical questions are sheer speculation. Whether or not gender is an intrinsic, neurological part of our individual selves, trans people still exist.

And not only do trans people exist, but we deserve to live as the height of our true personal expression. Freedom is so fucking important. Speaking your mind and being yourself and showing the world, or showing a loved one, or knowing and loving who you are - this is all freedom, this is all personal expression. For trans people it is emancipation and liberation from the shackles of all of that gender baggage. In one way or another, gender differs from biological sex, and the sheer difference in what each gender is supposed to do, present as, act as - that difference is what feels so absolutely, goddamn confining. If we returned to my unrealistic little scenario in which we somehow suppressed the evolution of gender baggage, the societal confinement would not exist. It would be biological confinement. And who knows what that would entail; certainly not I, a non-omnipotent little Homo sapiens.

Being a woman and having society tell you you’re a man is confining. Being a man and having society tell you you’re a woman is confining. Being nonbinary and having cultures in which that is simply *not historically a thing* tell you that “you’re whatever’s in your pants” is confining. In my own personal experience in western society, this enby confinement is different than that of binary confinement, as a neutral role - a good old nonbinary baggage suitcase - is a new thing. Nonbinary PEOPLE are not new; a nonbinary suitcase (I love making terms up) is new though, once again illustrating the difference between the gender baggage and gender itself. The struggle of nonbinary people is not to be compared to that of binary trans people, as it is a separate category. They are related but not the same. Binary trans people push against gender baggage that has developed, evolved, and existed for centuries; nonbinary trans people are making a new category (in cultures in which that isn’t a defined gender role). And we don’t necessarily want to create any more ‘baggage’ for nonbinary people, as once again this is what causes that suffocating feeling of confinement within society.

Xenogenders are sort of similar in this sense - an entirely new category is surfacing. At first I did not understand them. But not understanding something is never a basis for disrespect. I don’t know the people identifying as xenogenders, and I don’t know how they feel or what their personal struggles are, so who am I to say “ahahaha trender”? Their existence does not affect me. “But they make the trans community look like a joke.” Well, people with xenogenders are not the face of the trans community, and those who think they are simply cherry-pick the “cringiest” examples in a varied community that they can find, which is already shitty in itself. And also, the problem is not “trenders”. The problem is people with already transphobic mindsets, whether that be passively transphobic or actively transphobic. That mindset is just being extended to this emerging group of people. I don’t give a shit if someone uses neopronouns or describes themself using a neogender, because I do not know them and their existence does not affect me negatively in any way, nor does it affect the trans community negatively. By simply their identity, they are not hateful or discriminatory. And so what trans people should really be fighting against is passive and active transphobia within society - the actual, real life problem. We shouldn’t be turning inwards and setting our own dogs loose on each other.

Here we are in the world. Femininity, masculinity, neutrality and ambiguity have become established fashion codes and expressional standards in my good ol’ western society. Occupational gender roles still exist heavily, because that’s literally an intrinsic part of our evolution as humans, but these occupational roles are being fought against. Which is due, because anything otherwise would be archaic and non-progressive. Personality and personal expression are still heavily scrutinized when differing from one’s own assigned gender. The latter is an issue; the fashion codes and expressional standards have their deep problems, such as violence on the basis of expression, but once femininity, masculinity, neutrality, and ambiguity have been extended and allowed to all genders and socially accepted, these issues should fade. It’s sad that we must base the resolution of violence on social acceptance. But we must push for this social acceptance. We must push for the elimination of confinement, and for the absolute freedom of personal expression for all people; once real, true freedom of expression becomes normalized, becomes the status quo, it will no longer be met with challenge and hate.

That’s one thing we want deeply in life. To exist as we wish to exist without challenge and hate.

That concludes my... words. I hope that entire thing could be perceived as relatively orderly. I encourage you to leave your thoughts in the notes or ask a question or whatever you want to do.

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