#the angst is about to be delicious though trust
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He's Not Yours
Pairing: Mafia!Jenson x Assistant!Reader
Rating: PG-17
Words: 3.2K
Warnings: Pregnancy, lying, angst, fluff, it's really just, yeah
Synopsis: One night changes your life, but one lie completely destroys it
Mafia Jenson: pt.1 Unattainable / pt.2 Slipping Through My Fingers
A/N: This was an idea @percervall and I talked about a long time ago and I’m finally writing it and yes this is part of the main story
With shaking hands, you try to read the test before you; you are unwilling to believe what the test says. The two little lines mock you, making you sick. Taking another deep breath, you grab your phone and dial the first person you can think of.
"I need you,"
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Lewis holds it as you sit on the couch, sobbing, trying to get control. You craved control, but instead, you've thrown your world into such uncontrollable chaos that your chest has tightened. Lewis takes an intense breath, blows out, puts the test down on the coffee table, and slowly bends to your height.
"Jenson?" He asks the question slowly like he knew asking you would set off a whole wave of tears. You flinch at his name, the flashes of drinks, laughter, his hands on your body, pulling delicious toe-curling orgasms out of you. And the way he felt inside you. Shaking your head, you nod it slowly, and Lewis groans. He wants to yell at you for finally getting with Jenson and being so reckless.
"Well, I know this isn't how you wanted to get with him, but Y/n." "He can never know," Lewis snaps his mouth shut, his eyes narrowing but softening when you look up at him. "Lewis, he can never know. Lewis, promise me, promise me you won't tell him." Lewis groans and hangs his head. Sighing, he pulls you into his arms as you cry into his chest. "I won't, I won't tell him."
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You finally calmed down enough to talk with Lewis about being pregnant. Pregnant, you couldn't believe it. Pregnant with Jenson's baby, it made a smile tug at your lips, but you had to shake your head as it would be extremely dangerous having his child. You loved Jenson, and he loved you, yet you two kept up this game of not being together. Jenson was the head of a Mafia group, and if his enemies learned he had a child, he'd have a weakness, a weakness that would end with either the child's death or his, and you knew you wouldn't survive either.
"I know you don't want to tell him, but you can't hide it," Lewis whispers, pouring you some juice, even though you'd really wish it was alcohol. "I'm not going to hide it, Lewis. Just tell him it's someone else's, baby," Lewis makes a disgruntled noise and sits down, shaking his head. "Y/n, I love you, but that would crush him. He loves you, and you two finally sleep together, and he has been chewing Fernando and I's ear off about how you two are finally coming together." The knife in your heart stabs deeper, tearing into the muscle with such force you choke on air.
"If people find out that this is his child, they'll target the child, and Jenson would," You take a deep breath as the tears gather in your eyes. "Jenson would rather die than let his child be harmed. I can't lose them both," You whimper, hanging your head in shame. "You're going to lose him if you tell him that you're carrying another man's baby." Lewis loves you, he'd kill for you, has killed for you, he'd die for you, but he wouldn't support you in this. Jenson has been his friend for years, and this would crush his dearest friend.
"You think I don't know that!" Your voice raises at the end, and you swallow back the bile burning your throat. "Lewis, just trust that I'm doing the right thing," Lewis has never seen you so broken. You were always this badass, tough woman who could cut a man down with one look. Hell, you've got Jenson Button down on his knees for you. "I don't think you're doing the right thing, but I'll be here for you, no matter what." Lewis moves, sitting down next to you and kissing your head.
"We have the gala tonight," you whisper, and Lewis groans, knowing Jenson will be all over you. You know, last gala, I snuck off with Sebastian, and we were gone for a while," you whisper, and Lewis goes tense next to you. "Don't, Jenson and Sebastian are close," You chuckle, sipping at the sweet drink in your hand. "Sebastian and I were engaged once." His jaw drops as you nod, having never revealed that fact. "I'm sorry, what? You were once engaged to Michael Schumacher's right-hand man, now the German Mafia's leader?" Lewis pulls back, and a wet chuckle gets past your lips.
"We were children, young, we met at university, and well, it was a whirlwind romance. We got so close to being married, but we both realized we didn't want this, so we stopped. Stayed good friends too," Lewis thinks over every interaction you've had with them, and you giggle, seeing the lightbulb go off. "Oh my god, that's how you got us to meet with them," you nod and start to laugh, feeling slightly lighter.
"Jesus," Lewis sinks into the couch as you nod. Where did you...could it be?" You stop him and shake your head no. "No, Sebastian... no, we didn't sleep together," you admit, and Lewis nods his head, not wanting to doubt you, but right now, he needs a little doubt. "Would Sebastian even agree to this?" Sipping on the juice is the only thing that does not make you nauseous. "Yes, he owes me." Lewis raises an eyebrow, and you lean back into his arms, his fingers digging into your neck muscles.
"Why does he owe you?" Lewis stops and shakes his head fast. "Actually, don't tell me, knowing you, it's probably something horrible." Your lip quirks up as you sigh and look at Lewis. "He's in love with Mark," "Oh yeah, he's in love with Mark," Lewis repeats, his eyes slowly growing wide as he lets the words sink in. "What, but Mark is," "Yep," You whisper sadly, remembering the night Sebastian sobbed in your arms about Mark and how he would never love him.
"Does Mark," "He suspects something, but that's why tonight I'll be stuck by his side. He'll get drunk and do something reckless," You whisper, Lewis nods and looks at the time. "We should get going," You nod, standing as you look down at the pregnancy test. "Oh god, I'm pregnant." Lewis laughs and pulls you into his chest, rubbing your arm, "Yeah, yeah, you are,"
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"Something is off," Lewis tenses next to Jenson as he stares at you and Sebastian. Lewis tries hard not to make eye contact, worried he'll spill everything to Jenson. "What, no, nothing is off," Lewis answers far too fast, but Jenson doesn't clock it, staring a hole into your head. "How do Sebastian and Y/n know each other?" Lewis swears his muscles will rip from how tight they are, and Mark questions the closeness between you and Sebastian.
Lewis wishes you could hear his thoughts as Sebastian puts an arm around your waist, and you lean into him. Lewis closes his eyes and sees Sebastian moving his hand lower and you inching closer. "Okay, I'm going to rip his hand off," Jenson slams his whiskey down, but Mark steps in. "Touch him, and I'll rip you apart." Jenson and Mark have a stare-down, Lewis panicking. "Stop it. They used to be engaged, so I'm sure there are still feelings there," Lewis blurts out, and he groans, knowing he just fucked up.
"What?" Jenson's sound makes Lewis's blood run cold as Fernando walks up and giggles. "Eh, love birds are leaving," Lewis wishes Fernando could read a room. Actually, he could. He was just feeding into it." Jenson's eyes turn pitch black as Sebastian grins and leads you out of the gala.
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"Congratulations," Sebastian whispers, and you smile, lying your head on his shoulder. "If anyone asks, can," "Of course, but you know I won't be in the baby's life; I'm going to be the cool uncle." You giggle, and he sighs, pulling you closer. "So, Jenson, you are having a baby." "No," Your voice is cold as you touch your stomach. "I'm having a baby, not Jenson. He was just a...a sperm donor." You spit and sigh as Sebastian stares at you with wide eyes. "Woah, alright, never mind. Noted, don't talk about Jenson." Sebastian whispers, and you groan, burying your face in your hands.
"Sorry, it's the fucking hormones, if the time is right, I'm 3 months pregnant." Sebastian hums and takes off his jacket, placing it on your shoulders. "It's okay, but I'm serious; you can say I'm the father, but I can't be involved; he's around too much." You understood why Sebastian stayed away. It was too painful for him to constantly see Mark and not be with him. "I understand." And you did. It was unbearable for you to be around Jenson, even more so now that you are pregnant.
"I could always move to Germany," You offer, and Sebastian chuckles and shakes his head no. "He'd follow you, and then rip me to shreds, and then just drag you back here." You nod your head, knowing that was all very true. "I'm glad I can call you my friend," Sebastian smirks and waves a hand over him. "Well, duh, I'm the better blonde." Giggling, you two stand up and walk back to the party; you shiver, feeling someone watching you.
Turning, you see a distraught Lewis, a confused Mark, a smug Fernando, and a furious Jenson. Sebastian notices and moves, placing a delicate kiss on your lips and shocking you. You can see Fernando and Lewis holding Jenson back. "I hope you're making the right decision." You smile, and Sebastian gives you one last kiss, leaving you in the shadows.
Walking over, you grab a drink, but Lewis quickly swaps them, and you nod. "What the fuck was that about?" Jenson growls, Mark even looking pissed, which has you thinking things over. "I was telling him some news," "Which is what? What could possibly have been your ex-fiance kissing you?" You whip your head to Lewis, who quickly looks away and whistles. "Nothing," Jenson tightens his hold on his glass and waves over the bartender. "Get her a real drink, please," "No, thank you," The guys stare at you, shocked; you always drink with them. "I can't drink," You whisper, unable to look them in the eyes.
The bartender's eyes sweep over you and smile. "Congrats." He walks off. Jenson stares, but then a smile starts to grow. "Are you?" "Yes! And it's Sebastian's okay, but he wants... just leave it alone." You whisper. A pen could drop with how silent it was around you. Lewis, I want to go home now," Lewis nods and gathers you in his arms, noticing how you are still wearing Sebastian's jacket.
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2 months later, 5 months pregnant
You stopped wearing your heels, and you hated it. Mark and Jenson kept towering over you, and you were annoyed with it. Since that night at the gala, Jenson hasn't said much to you, just small words here and there, but today, he asked you to come into the office early, so here you are, trying to figure out what he would want to say to you.
Knocking on the office door, you push it open and see Jenson sitting in the same position you left him last night. "Did you stay the night?" You ask, shocked at his disheveled state. "Are you pregnant with my baby?" The question throws you off, shock flashing through your features, but you quickly school your emotions and take a deep breath. "No, Jenson, it's not your baby." His face, once stoic, breaks as he takes a deep breath and looks away.
"There's...not even a chance?" He whispers, and you hate being pregnant at this moment because he's got your throat tightening without even touching you, eyes burning like fire has been thrown in them. "No," You choke on the word; clearing your throat, you roll your shoulders back and speak up. "No, there's not a chance." You repeat, and Jenson leans back, rubs his face, and nods. "Sebastian, he....he's going to be there for you, yes?" It wasn't really a question; it was more of a demand. "No, he wants nothing to do with the bug, baby." Jenson's face is cold, but then he cracks a smile.
"Bug?" You sigh. It was something you started calling the baby, and it just stuck. Lewis even bought the baby a little bug plushie. "Yes, it's something I called the baby," "That's cute," Jenson stands and walks over before settling on his couch and patting the empty side. You move and sit down, feeling your feet ache as you whine. "I'm not the father, but I want to help Y/n," You open your eyes and stare at him. The raw emotion on his face eats you alive, Jenson has always spoken about how much he's always wanted to be a father, and here he is, the father of your baby, and you're hiding that from him. Taking away the one thing he's truly wanted.
"Jenson, you don't have to," Jenson moves, his large hands wrapping around your ankles and lifting them to his lap, and slowly rub the soles of your feet. "Jenson, please, I'm doing this alone," You whisper and pull your feet in, knees tucked into your chest. Jenson stares at you, the rejection hurting, but he clears his throat. "So, I'm just your boss, and you're my assistant, and us fucking, us telling each other we loved one another, that never happened? Instead, you fucked, Sebastian, and now you're pregnant with his baby, not mine." Jenson snaps, standing up, and you flinch, his anger leaving just as quickly as it came.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm just," You don't know what comes over you, but you start to cry and hold your arms out to him, just wanting to feel his warmth and smell the whiskey and earth that clings to him. Jenson doesn't think twice and sits down, pulling you into his lap. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You repeat, sobbing into his chest. "It's okay, I'm here, I'm always here,"
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3 months later, 8 months pregnant
You don't know how it happened, but one day, you were living in your lovely apartment, and suddenly, you were living in Jenson's home, painting the nursery together. Now, you're lying in bed, wondering if you should talk to Jenson.
He wasn't his usual self; as your stomach grew, the more he refused to let you out of his sight, and you could tell he was slowly losing his mind. According to Lewis, he saw Sebastian not too long ago, and they both left the room with busted lips and black eyes. Jenson came stalking into the house, stormed past you, and locked himself up in his study hours ago. Unable to sleep, you throw the covers off and groan.
Your stomach was heavier and heavier by the day as your little bug was dropping, getting ready for you to give birth. Holding your stomach, you waddle to his study and knock on the door softly. "Jense, it's me." You push it open with ease and stop seeing him sitting at the desk, his head down and a bottle of whiskey half empty. "Jenson," You whisper, close the door, and walk farther into the study. "Jenson, love," You whisper, hating how you living here has made you two grow closer, scary close for you.
He looks up, and you hiss, seeing his eye and lip swollen. "That should be my baby; I wish it was my baby; I wish you were mine." He croaks, and you freeze, your hold on your stomach tightening. "Jense," "I would take such good care of you because I-.. because I love you." He whimpers, sounding so broken that you blink, and tears slide down your cheeks. Your chest aches; you knew he'd remember nothing in the morning. He was far too drunk to even correctly see if it was you in front of him and not some dream.
"Jenson, he is yours," you whisper, stepping forward and cupping his face, wiping the tears as his hands touch your stomach, staring at it. "Don't hurt me like that, baby. It's okay; I don't need to lie to protect my heart. Don't care. I will care for them no matter what. I will care for both of you," He slurs with a sad smile. That ache in your chest grows as you pull him up; he stumbles but stands upright and blinks slowly. "Let's go to bed, Jense." Jenson nods and follows after you. He stumbles occasionally, but you carefully lead him into the room, and he flops onto his bed.
"Go to sleep," You lean down and kiss his cheek, but he stops you, and you freeze, having never seen such vulnerability in someone before. "Stay, I'm, just stay," He begs, and you nod, not even thinking twice as you climb into the bed and sigh. Jenson's hand moves to your stomach, lying on it protectively. You flinch, feeling a little kick, and Jenson giggles. "Hey, little bug, I'm Jenson. I'm not your father, but I'll love you like one." You bite your bottom lip hard, trying not to sob as Jenson slips off into sleep, leaving you to sob quietly into the pillow.
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1 month later, Hospital
Jenson couldn't believe it; this tiny little human, the tiny bug, was finally here, in his arms. You slept soundly as Jenson refused to leave your side, and Lewis was picking out the perfect outfit to take him home in. "Should we do the bugs?" Jenson makes a face, and Lewis sighs as Jenson can't look away. The tiny bundle was tucked tight in his arms, staring up at Jenson. Jenson hated that the baby had Sebastian's eyes, these perfect little blues, with a little button nose and perfect lips.
"Here, dress him in this," Lewis says, holding out a pretty blue onesie, but Jenson shakes his head. He and the baby were doing skin-to-skin, and it felt like the perfect thing to do like the universe was frozen and nothing was wrong in the world. Jenson, you have to dress him." Lewis whispers, and Jenson finally looks away and groans, taking the onesie. "Ruining mine and bug's moment." "His name is Theodore, Theo for short." Jenson doesn't think it is possible, but he falls more in love with the little boy and his mother.
"Called Sebastian," Mark walks into the room and coos at the little blue eyes staring at him. Mark freezes and looks at Lewis with realization; Lewis slowly shakes his head no, and Mark looks at you, sleeping peacefully in the bed, and back at one of his dearest friends dressing the tiny human. "Yeah, what did he say? Does he even want to see his son?" Jenson asks in a cheery tone, but they can hear the anger in them.
Theo coos and yawns. Mark melts before shaking his head. "Um, he said, 'Oh, that's good,' and hung up." Jenson picks up little Theo and holds him close like any father would. "Fuck him," Lewis casts a glare, and Jenson doesn't see it too wrapped up in little Theo, who just stares right back at Jenson.
"Jenson," Lewis whispers; his close friend looks up with so much happiness and love that Lewis feels his heartbreak. Don't forget, he's not yours." Jenson's smile fades, blinking slowly as he looks back down at Theo and then at you. I know, but a man could dream." Jenson's voice breaks as he leans down, kissing Theo softly. "A man could dream," he whispers softly.
#f1#formula 1#f1 fandom#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 scenario#f1 x y/n#f1 fiction#f1 fanfiction#f1 fics#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fluff#f1 angst#mafia!f1#f1!mafia#mafia!jenson button#jenson button x reader#jenson button x you#jenson button f1#jenson button imagine#jenson button fluff#jenson button angst#jenson button oneshot#jenson button fic#jenson button fanfic#jenson button fanfiction
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something about fearne having had multiple asides trying to put together her part in this whole plot, watching her distress at the fact she was MADE for something by a very evil person and doesn't know what it is, all while her friends seem to not notice or bring it up
#im sad#im in my fearne protagonist niche this arc and yes im thriving but others dont seem to have the vision#the angst is about to be delicious though trust#fearne calloway#critical role
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Winter Soup // Mafia!Stucky x F!Reader
Summary: There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?
Requested by: @senjoritanana thank you so much, I hope you enjoy all the angst!
A/N: PSA I don't know the specifics of how poisons work and didn't want to risk it on my google history lmao so please ignore any inaccuracies. Please read the tags if you're affected by near death experiences, please proceed with caution and if I've missed any tags/warnings, please let me know!
Warnings/Tags: 18+ readers only, hints of smut, angst (LOTS BUCKLE UP), fluff, polyamory relationship, poisoning, blood and injury, anxiety, crying, begging, near death expierences, reader is injured, pain, emotional hurt/comfort, hospitalization, protective Steve Bucky and Sam, everyone needs a hug tbh
Words: 7.7k
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The warmer months were slowly starting to shift into winter and for some reason this year, the weather change was beginning to affect your health. You’d heard of the phrase ‘seasonal depression’ but you were convinced that it was due to the cooler weather that was making you feel this rubbish.
It had been happening for a week now, and some days you’d feel fine, normal in fact but then others your chest felt so tight as if an elephant was sitting on top of you, nausea, vertigo and heart palpations that would have you clutching your chest with fear you might explode. With each passing day, you would be praying for the summer months to return, especially as the snow and ice increased with intensity outside of your home.
You were fine for the most part, good days and bad; yes you might be getting worse with each passing day but you were adamant that the seasonal illness would pass. However, the frosty weather was also a minor blessing because it was your excuse to stay home and be a pretty housewife for Steve and Bucky. Being able to stay home made it easier to keep the illness to yourself as well, it was a busy time within the Rogers mafia and you didn’t need them wasting their time fretting over your wellness when they had a lot of other things to do. They had many international deals that were so close to being signed for and contracted that every waking hour was spent at the office, on phone calls, and emails, trying to talk to locals across the world to attend meetings on their behalf so the boys were thoroughly busy.
There were a few occasions you’d attended with them to the office if you were feeling particularly needy or lonely but it unnerved you to drive on the snow and ice so when you suggested that you might stay at home, Steve and Bucky offered no complaints.
At home at least you were able to mop about, trying to perk yourself up with movies, pyjamas and your favourite bowl of warm soup. Over the last few months, you’d been trying to improve your cooking skills, especially to impress Steve who usually cooked for three of you. This became more interesting as the colder months drew in over Brooklyn as this meant you could cook more homely, hearty foods such as soups and stews, especially as you had recipe suggestions from the newly hired grounds guard Rafael.
He’d been recommended by a friend of a friend for Steve to hire which was perfect timing because the last grounds guard had retired. There were a few occasions when he was the guard to bring the post to the front door from the front gate and you soon found he was enthusiastic and easy to talk to, even though he was a little bit older, which was how you found out he had previously been a chef and offered to give you recipe ideas. As winter drew in, Rafael began turning up when he knew you were by yourself to deliver some of his momma’s family recipe soups, hoping that the meal would perk you up which it did, they tasted so delicious that you were secretly hoping he would keep bringing them to you, especially as you continued to feel unwell.
“What is it today?”, you asked voice full of hope and trying to sound as upbeat as possible. Even though you were desperately holding onto the door handle as your head was spinning and scared you’d fall over.
“Potato and leek soup and they’re all grown in my back yard so hopefully you’ll love it even more than usual”, Rafael smiled as he handed over the container, his smile broad and causing the aged creases at the corner of his eyes to deepen.
Gleefully you accepted the soup, opening the lid slightly to smell the delicious meal, your stomach grumbling with hunger. Your appetite had reduced significantly over the last few days due to always feeling nauseous however it seemed the only thing that you could stomach was his delicious meals and therefore his arrival was always welcomed.
“Thank you so much! Please will you let me pay you this time? You’re being way too kind to me, always giving me free meals, you’re going above and beyond a usual guard”, you pleaded whilst also having to return holding onto the door handle as it felt like the ground was moving with your dizziness.
Rafael held up his hands and shook his head, taking a step back, “Absolutely not! Just wanted to give you something to make you feel better and make the fairies go away”.
The guard halted, a look of embarrassment passing out his features as he realised what he just said, especially as you asked, “Fairies?”
He awkwardly looked down at his shoes, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to explain, “Yeah it’s just something my momma use to say. If we were feeling unwell, it’s because the fairies had crept into our stomachs and were being naughty and making us ill and now I’ve said it out loud to another person I’ve realised how insane that sounds so I’m going to stop talking”.
You squeezed your lips together to try and contain your laughter but that lasted a moment before you were both laughing which only turned into you losing your balance against the door and swaying to keep yourself upright. The laughter died in Rafael’s eyes as he reached out to you, “Woah, you ok, Ma’am?”
Quickly brushing him off, you took a step back into your home, trying to ask nonchalantly about the situation, “Yeah sorry, probably just the fairies pushing me over”. Your joke didn’t seem to comfort him in any way as he continued to look uneased by your appearance.
Thankfully Rafael didn’t push the situation any further, seeing that you wanted to escape back into the comfort of your home, he took his step back with a simple smile. “Get back inside before you catch another cold from this snow. Eat the soup whilst it’s still warm and I’ll be back tomorrow to hear the verdict on the taste.”
“Thank you Rafael! Enjoy the rest of your day!”. You waved him off and rushed to slam the door, sliding down to the floor against the wood, losing all energy that you’d built that morning just for that one conversation. Ok yes, you were feeling sorry for yourself as you tried to catch your breath, heart pounding violently in your chest that it also echoed in your ears and your vision was still seeing double of everything.
However your stomach continued to gurgle with hunger so without wasting any more energy, you opened the lid and ate the entire contents then and there. Releasing a satisfied sigh at the delicious meal, you took another couple of minutes to gather your senses before dragging yourself over to the living room, collapsing onto your back on the couch and letting sleep take you into a dreamless realm.
A violent shake of your shoulders by a hard grip on your shoulder was what startled you awake as Sam’s voice then surrounded you as he shouted, “Hey! Wake up!”.
“I think this is the first time I’ve ever been close to hating you Sam Wilson”, you croaked before coughs shattered your chest, rocking your body as you tried to sit up and suck in any air between the painful coughs. Finally, you calmed down enough to collapse back against the decorative cushions of the couch and open your eyes to look at the three Sam’s that hovered over you. After a couple more blinks, they merged into one, very distressed-looking bodyguard, eyebrows knitted together and jaw muscle clenched harshly.
Sam reached towards your face, pressing against your cheek in concern, “Why didn’t you tell me you were ill?”
“What? I’m not ill, I’m just tired, can’t a girl nap around here?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, trying to look as relaxed as possible.
The man didn’t look convinced as he sat on the edge of the couch next to you. Releasing a heavy sigh which only twinged something in your chest that made you want to cough but you refrained from doing so as you emphasised, “Sam seriously, I’m fine”.
Sam gave you another serious glance, eyes hardening as he explained, “You didn’t sound fine, you were wheezing so hard in your sleep I thought you were going to stop breathing”.
There was no denying the panic that filled your heart and would explain the tightened feeling in your chest but you tried to not let the fear show on your face as you rolled your eyes, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.
“I appreciate your concern Sam, but I feel ok, I’m just tired, I was probably just sleeping in a weird position and look, no wheeze now!” Taking a deep breath to show there was no more noise coming from your chest, however, it didn’t seem to comfort him in any way.
“Yeah well you’re still looking peaky and why are you so tired all the time recently, you’re never usually like this”.
“It’s probably just the cold weather or something. If I start to feel unwell, you know I’d tell you. I’m a big baby when I’m ill, you’ll be the first to know”. Sam looked to be contemplating believing you and all you were silently begging for was that he didn’t call Steve and Bucky, they just didn’t need this stress right now. Even though it was in his contract to call them at any sign of injury or illness but as Sam looked at you, other than looking tired, you seemed to be fine and still joking with him. Finally, he gave you a simple nod and you couldn't hold back the thankful sigh. “Do you mind if I go back to sleep for a little while longer or do you need me for anything?”
“You’ve been sleeping a lot recently”, he stated his earlier point again.
“What, so I’m not allowed to nap now?” you teased him with a subtle smile, hoping to crack his worried exterior. It only half worked as he shook his head to himself, standing up and pulling the fluffy blanket that had been left behind you on the couch and throwing it over your body. Before you could even thank him though, sleep had stolen you back into its resting state.
Sleeping for a few more hours, Sam was nowhere to be seen but he usually liked to check the perimeter ever so often and speak to the other guards so you weren’t worried about his whereabouts. As you shuffled to the kitchen, you couldn’t tell if you felt any worse or better after all the sleeping, haven’t wasted another day feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to snap out of it by glancing through the refrigerator and cupboards and deciding to ssurpriseSteve and Bucky with a romantic meal.
The house was soon filled with delicious scents of sweet and savoury as you’d baked and were in the process of cooking their dinner. You were in your own little world and had only stumbled a handful of times with dizziness and the headache that was building was currently mild in comparison to others you had, it was fine you determined to yourself
Still lost in your own thoughts, you hadn’t even heard the front door open as you were suddenly enveloped by a muscular chest and arms, a smile aching your cheeks as you nuzzled back into Steve’s body. His lips danced over your cheek and down your neck as he held you close, the roughness of his beard comforting. “I didn’t hear you come in”, you commented, turning your head slightly to chase after his lips, sighing deeply in your chest as he held you tighter for a second, hands dipping beneath your shirt at your waist so that he could feel the warmth of your skin.
“I did shout”, he revealed whilst moving back to neck, not to kiss but just to smell you in, his body almost melting into the floor as he felt at home with the familiar scents. “I’ve missed you”, he whispered against your skin.
Goosebumps instantly flooded over your body as you shivered, turning in his arms to hug him properly, your fingers scratching through his hair that was beginning to curl at the ends where he’d allowed it to grow out over the winter months. “I’ve missed you too”, you whispered against his lips, lazily kissing and breathing each other in.
“Come with us tomorrow, I want you to be near me”, he admits with words that were making you cling to him harder.
You wanted to say yes and the word was on the tip of your tongue but then your thoughts drifted to the soup coming. “I’ve got a delivery coming that I can’t miss, I’m sorry”.
“The guards can get the delivery”, he counters.
“It’s fresh soup I want it whilst it’s hot”, an embarrassed smile finds its way to your lips as he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he just enjoyed the moment of the two of you being together.
“Soup? But we could order that to the office if you wanted it, you know that’s no issue”.
You pout dramatically, hanging off his neck as you whisper with a childish tone, “But it won’t be the soup that I’ve ordered and want”.
Steve rolls his eyes but you know he's being playful, he could never find a reason to be upset with you. Rolling back his shoulders, he stands back to his full height, opening his eyes to cup your cheek with his massive hand but this was when he took you in and a frown dawned on his face just like it had on Sam’s. “Are you feeling ok?” The hand on your cheek moved towards your forehead, expecting to feel a temperature but it felt normal.
“I feel great”, you say with as much cheer in your tone as possible, still holding onto his neck but mostly because another wave of dizziness had rushed through you and you needed some support to stay standing.
Steve didn’t seem convinced, “You just … look a little off”.
You playfully rolled your eyes, similar to how he had just done, “Wow thanks Steve”.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that”.
“I know, I’m joking, I’m fine - really, it's nothing to worry about”. He eyes you and doesn’t fall for your grin so you tried your next trick up your sleeve. Leaning on your tip toes whilst pulling his face closer, you whispered against his lips, “I love you, Stevie”.
The tension momentarily eased from his shoulders as his grip around you tightened, “I love you too”.
“Sorry to interrupt your love fest but I want my own loving”, Bucky broadly announced from the entrance of the kitchen where he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes however as you pulled back from Steve and he could finally see your face, the happiness seeped from his face. “Woah, what happened? Are you ok?”
You gave a frustrated huff, finally releasing Steve’s neck as you pointed in the direction of the decorated table. “Right, both of you go and sit down before I decide you don’t deserve any food for being mean”.
Steve shuffled away first as you continued to cook the food, Bucky looking ashamed as he came over and kissed your cheek but before he could pull away, you quickly captured his lips in a kiss to show you’d been playing before and weren’t upset.
“Why are there only two plates on the table?” Steve questioned as he took a seat.
Without looking over your shoulder at him, you casually answered, “I’ve already had mine, I wasn’t sure when you were both going to be home and I didn’t want to wait”. They both seemed to accept your lie and you happily sat with them as they ate, asking about how the deals were going. They both seemed to be agreed that they were sure to have contracts signed tomorrow and had even been able to pay off some of the international police so that shipping of the goods could occur. In truth, after the soup, you were not feeling at all remotely hungry and even the smell of the cooked food had turned your stomach over.
A couple of hours later, the three of you were preparing for bed. Steve is in the middle and you are to his right and Bucky is to his left. You and the mafia boss had been kissing deeply for a couple of minutes, his hands beneath your shirt, brushing against your breasts, rough fingertips peaking your nipples as you ground down on his thigh. You were soaked and he could feel the evidence of it as you weren’t wearing any underwear but the longer the touches and kisses went on for, the more you were feeling unwell.
As his teeth tugged on your bottom lip and he began to trail open-mouthed kisses over your jaw and down your throat, you noticed Bucky was doing the same thing but to Steve’s neck from behind. However, there were two Bucky’s instead of one as your vision swayed and it felt as if you were on a water bed with how unsteady you felt. The headache was close to a full-blown migraine as well now which only continued to make you feel nauseous so even though there was nothing more you wanted than to continue where this intimacy was leading but, for once, you had to stop it.
“Wait, just- just one moment”, you pushed against Steve's shoulders at the same time. The blonde's hold on you loosened as he moved his face back to look into your eyes but you’d closed them, trying to hide your face from him and Bucky who had also sat up further to check on you. “I just- sorry I’m tired and I… I’m not sure- sorry.. I don’t think-”.
Steve’s fingers tipped your chin up to look at him as he smiled softly down at you, “If you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to. If you’re tired then I’ll just hold you close, ok? Please don’t apologise for not wanting any of this”.
You relaxed in his arms, feeling grateful for him but also bad that you could feel how aroused he was against your stomach. “Thank you. I’m just feeling so tired today. Please don’t let me stop you both, continue without me, I just want to go to sleep”.
“You don’t have to give us reasons why you don’t want to do it, baby, we’ll do whatever you want to do. Me and Buck don’t have to fuck if you want to be held, I don’t want you thinking we’re neglecting you”.
Affection and love warmed your heart as you kissed Steve’s lips and then reached over his shoulder to kiss Bucky. “I love you both but seriously please continue, I like watching you both anyway so that’ll satisfy me enough if I’m not asleep by that point anyway”.
They both gave their love back to you with praises and pecks to your face before rolling away from you and beginning their exploration of each other's bodies. You watched with a smile on your face for a couple of moments and your core ached with need but as a burst of pain pounded through your temple, your eyes shut automatically to help ease the pain and from there, they never opened again as sleep took you soon after.
The next morning, your migraine had gone but your entire body felt weak and drained of any energy. Steve and Bucky took one look at you and determined that they’d be working from home, wishing to remain near you but they still needed the comfort of their home office upstairs whereas you remained downstairs, pretending to watch TV.
Somehow, you had continued to hide your seasonal illness, they just thought you still looked peaky. Today was the worst you’d felt so far, even having to use the wall as support whilst walking around the home, silently coughing into cushions so that the boys wouldn’t hear upstairs and this only increased the sharp pain shooting through your chest.
At lunchtime, Sam came over to visit and found you at the table in the kitchen, head lying against the table top as you dipped in and out of sleep. You were too tired to even pretend to joke and thankfully for once he didn’t pester you with being unwell, especially knowing Steve and Bucky were home, he assumed they had seen how bad you were so he just sat next to you at the table, easing his hand under your head so you had some comfort against the hard surface.
Soon after, Rafael knocked on the front door with your soup delivery. Usually h,e would stay at the door, never coming into your home but Sam insisted that he come out of the cold and deliver the soup to you in person.
“Yay!” you croaked, reaching out for the warm container, seeing the soup within and seeing that it was a deep red colour today, possibly tomato.
“I didn’t know you cooked, Rafael”, Sam noted, taking his seat next to yours once more as the new guard stayed standing at the head of the table. Other than Natasha, Sam was the lead of the security and guards and technically Rafael’s boss.
“Oh yeah, he used to be a chef”, you explained to Sam, whilst opening the lid of the container, smelling the delicious food and confirming your theory that it was tomato soup.
“Chef? I didn’t know you worked as a chef”, Sam remarked with a frown, eyeing Rafael with confusion as he’d been the one to complete the job interview and didn’t remember seeing chef on his CV.
Rafael casually shrugged his shoulders, looking somewhat tense at the questioning but still forced a smile to his face to please his boss. “I didn’t think it was relevant to the job, to be honest”.
“We’ll have to get you on the bbq when the weather perks up, maybe that’ll stop the arguments between Steve and Bucky”, Sam mused over the thought.
You tried to chuckle but the exhaustion had you slumping against the table as you mumbled, “I feel like shit”.
Sam tensed next to you, “Maybe we should call a doctor. You know, I’m surprised Steve and Bucky aren’t down here right now looking after you, do they even know how bad you’re feeling today?”
“Wait, they’re both here?” Rafael asked Sam but he ignored him, his focus solely on you.
Once again you’re too tired to think of an answer and shrug your shoulders, turning your head to look up at Rafael, “I think the fairies like me too much”.
“Fairies?”, Sam questions thinking that you’d become delirious.
You smile genuinely to Sam, reaching to tap his shoulder, “Inside joke Sam, keep up”.
There was no further discussion of fairies as more hacking coughs ripped through you. It took a couple of moments and Sam rushed to get you a glass of water before you slumped back against the table in exhaustion.
“Why don’t you have the soup and then see how you’re feeling later? Maybe the rest is all you need”, Rafael suggested, filling the silence with his voice.
You couldn’t see it but Sam gave his employee a scathing look, “Rest is all she’s been doing. I’m calling the doc and then I’m going upstairs to tell Steve and Bucky”.
“Aren’t they busy?” Rafael continued to question Sam. “I’ve heard they’ve got that deal coming up from Italy and France, they might appreciate it if you wait a little bit before calling Doctors”.
Sam’s voice was quiet and stern but you were too tired to notice. “That’s not common knowledge, how do you know that?”.
Massaging your temples with the pounding thuds that hadn’t stopped since your coughing fit, you decided that Rafael was right, usually sleep made you feel better. Reaching for the soup one more, you opened the container as you addressed your bodyguard, “he’s right Sam. I just need today for all the work stuff to be over and then I’ll call the doctor. The boys don’t need any distractions, especially today, one more day isn’t going to kill me”.
Sam didn’t look happy as you began to idly sip on the thick, delicious soup. As you thanked Rafael for the meal, Sam finally looked back to him, his frown deep and unmoving as he asked, “Don’t you have work to do?”
Rafael’s spine straightened, “Oh yeah, right. Sorry, sir” and with that, he left to return to work.
“You don’t have to be so bossy you know, he’s just trying to help”, you tried to reason with Sam.
However, your friend ignored you and moved to hold your hand to pull your attention away from the meal and towards him. “I’m giving you until the evening, wait no- if you get any worse before the evening, I am calling the Doc, no arguments, understand?”
“Yes sir”, you say with a little salute.
Finishing your soup, your boyfriends finally came downstairs and you attempted to straighten your posture and plaster a fake smile on your face. Bucky paused in the entryway, sniffing the air and asking, “What’s that smell, I know it's from somewhere but can’t put my finger on it”.
“Is it my soup?” you say, trying to stand up and act like the floor was spinning beneath you.
“No, it’s not that”, he pondered, still looking around and trying to smell whatever he recognised but couldn’t pick it up again. Steve and Bucky both walked past you, kissing the back of your head as you casually explained that you were going to lie down for a little bit. “Wait, let me come with you-”, Bucky started but you held out your hand to stop him.
“You’ve got a busy time at work and I’ve got Sammy boy here anyway so you two continue with your work and we’ll have a nice evening in, Ok?”
“Yes Ma’am”, he mutters before continuing to make his lunch. It wasn’t often that he listened to your instructions but both men were so busy and overwhelmed with work and the consequences that could come from it all that they were all over the place.
The next hour passed by slowly and you didn’t manage to sleep even for a moment because your symptoms were making you feel so awful. You were wheezing so bad that each breath felt like you were suffocating, your eyes began to roll with how much the room was spinning and a violent tremble rocked through your entire body, you didn’t feel right, something was wrong and it was beginning to scare you.
“Sam?” your voice was nothing more than a rasping whisper but he still was able to hear you from where he had been on the phone with the doctor from across the room, having noticed your deterioration in health. He was kneeling by your side in a couple of broad steps, the phone balancing between his cheek and shoulder as he rested a hand on your temple, feeling your spiked temperature. “I don’t feel good”, you admitted, voice full of terror before more coughs ruptured through your chest, leaving you struggling to breathe.
“Steve! Bucky get down here right now!”
“No… no, I just need to sleep”, the fear had disappeared from your voice as you wished for the exhaustion to take you completely, hoping that in sleep you wouldn't feel the pain destroying your insides.
“Hey! No! Don’t go t sleep, need you to stay awake for me, Doctor Banner is on his way but you can’t go to sleep”, Sam urgently tapped your face, rousing you from the sleep as Bucky had all but jumped down the entire flight of stairs at the shouting.
“What’s going on- What the fuck? Doll?” he replaced where Sam was so that he could continue to explain to the doctor what was happening.
“I’m just not feeling ok, it’s fine Bucky go back to work”, you were somewhat delirious, still not really opening your eyes but leaning into the coldness from Bucky’s hand as he cupped your face. Bucky looked to Sam for answers, his eyes bright and alert with fury and worry.
When Sam shrugged his shoulders, not having any answer as to why you were suddenly so unwell, Bucky quickly turned back to you and assessed your deteriorating health and noticed just how laboured your breathing had become. As he spoke, it was with surprising gentleness but still held authority, “I need you to take a deep breath for me, honey, I want you to try and fill your lungs with air”.
“I’m trying, it’s just seasonal illness, it’ll be ok”.
“What are you talking about?” Bucky asks, not letting go of your face but just moving in closer.
“It’s just seasonal”, your words began to slur as you became incoherent.
Steve finally descended the stairs with just as much purpose as Bucky as he demanded to know what was going on but Bucky couldn’t answer him as he continued to talk to you and keep you awake. “It’s not seasonal, you’re not breathing properly, it’s not-”. Bucky was leaning so close that he was able to smell your breath and he froze, it looked like he now wasn’t even breathing.
“What is it Bucky?” Steve demanded, kneeling next to him and reaching over to take your hand but also feel your pulse, which only made his own increase with worry.
Bucky leans closer and smells your mouth again, so close that you tried to move away as his nose nudged your lips. “What did you eat?” Bucky asked in a tone that forced your eyes to open with concern.
“Huh? Um just my soup”, you say whilst blinking quickly as he still wouldn’t come into focus.
“Soup? Where is it? Where’s the container?” before you could answer, he was on his feet and running into the kitchen as Steve continued to demand answers from his boyfriend, his hand now moving from your wrist to directly over your heart, continuing to count the beats.
Bucky cursed so violently that it actually made you shrink into the cushions but the movement only made you cough more and chest tighten as you struggled to breathe. He returned to the room, his face a deathly white and green shade as he uttered just one word: “Hemlock”.
There was just one brief second where not a body in the room breathed or even moved, one single second to process the poison that Bucky had spoken, the planet that he only knew about because of his time as the Winter Soldier and using it on his target. The poison that he could now smell on your breath, that originated from your container of soup.
It was Sam to speak first, Sam to snap the two men out of their frozen states as he gave the orders from Doctor Banner who had heard the word over the phone. “We need to get her to a hospital right now”.
Steve picked you up, and his entire body began to tremble with adrenaline and fear as no one even stopped to properly dress for the snow outside, only putting their shoes on before rushing to the car. Sam thankfully was able to use the adrenaline to remain headstrong as he climbed into the driver’s side of the car so that Steve and Bucky could both hold you in the back seats and try and keep you awake.
You were lying with your head in Steve’s lap with your body lying across Bucky’s as they clamped their arms around you as makeshift seatbelts. You had heard the word that Bucky had said and even though you knew what it was, you didn’t want to believe it, even as you continued to feel worse. “It’s not poison, it’s just soup”.
However, those words triggered something within your throat and once more you were coughing so hard that you thought you were going to vomit and cringed as metallic warmth filled your mouth and leaked out of the corner of your lips.
You slumped onto Steve and Bucky, head lulling back but Steve was quick to grab your face, tapping it and forcing you to stay awake, “Baby don’t go to sleep! Please stay awake for me! Stay with us, we’ll be at the hospital soon, I promise”.
You were scared, even though you were half-conscious, you were terrified now realising the severity of the situation, knowing that you were coughing up blood which was now soaking the front of Steve’s shirt and hearing how panicked your boyfriends were only made it worse. Through all the scary, dangerous times in your life, they always remained calm and in control but now they were both frantic and frightened.
As all three men continued to plead with you to stay awake, you forced yourself to open your eyes, only allowing yourself the luxury of blinking occasionally as you kept looking into Steve’s ocean-blue eyes. With his body and face so close to yours, you used him to ground you in the situation, trying to copy his breathing which had slowed since you’d opened your eyes; ignoring the pain from the breaths and resisting the urges to cough even though blood continued to fill your mouth.
“Am I going to die?” you whisper, not being able to ignore the questions now in the back of your mind anymore.
Steve’s breath hitched for a second before he tried to confidently whisper, “No, you’re not going to die”.
You didn’t believe him, especially as the trip to the hospital was delayed by the snow, every second feeling like it could be your worse, you didn’t want it to end like this.
“I love you.”
“You’re going to be ok, just keep looking at Steve, keep breathing”, Bucky pleaded, squeezing your freezing cold hand.
“Please, just say it back”, your voice was hardly audible anymore as your mouth was so full of blood.
“Stop talking and save your energy for when you’re feeling better”, Bucky tried to keep his composure but you knew he was close to snapping.
Your breaths were wet and laboured, wheezing so violently it rattled and echoed around the car but you still managed to plead, “Say it back-”.
“I love you, I love you so fucking much, please don’t leave me, baby”. Steve snapped first, his eyes were wide, fearful and yet beautiful with how stark the blue was as his eyes filled with tears, leaking down his cheek and into his beard.
You were thankful, for both of them, for everything and you wish you could have told them, wishing that you could have heard Bucky’s own declaration of love and adoration for you but the pounding of your heartbeat became so loud in your head that you couldn’t hear anything anymore.
But you continued to hold on, never once looking away from those pretty eyes of Steve’s as Sam finally screeched to a halt outside of the hospital. Once more, Steve carried you and there was a flurry of people in different coloured scrubs suddenly surrounding you as you were placed onto a cold bed.
One moment you were staring into Steve’s eyes and the next you were looking up at a stranger and the comfort you’d once felt, the thing that was grounding you to life was now gone and you couldn’t find him again, no matter how much you moved on the bed, even as the strangers poked and prodded at your body until you couldn’t deal with it anymore and finally closed your eyes.
Do you ever have those naps where you wake up and forget where you are, or what time or day it is? That was currently how you felt except the added sensation of floating encompassed your body as well. The only sort of normality felt throughout your body was a cool feminine hand stroking across your temple in a soothing, repetitive manner.
Your toes wiggled firstly and then your eyes behind your eyelids and even though you knew who was stroking your forehead, you still croakily asked, “Steve? Bucky?”
“It’s just me Sugar” Natasha sounded calm and peaceful as her fingers didn’t stop with their soothing motions. “The boys are going to be so pissed that you’re awake before they’ve got back”.
You huff and dared to open your eyes, grunting at the brightness of the room but thankfully your eyes adjusted and only one, still, Natasha smiled down at you. Seeing that you weren’t going to vomit or freak out, Natasha sat back in her chair, moving to hold onto your hand to give you some comfort. “You gave us a real scare”.
You thought back to everything that happened, some of it was a blur but most of it still played through your mind like a horror movie that you couldn’t look away from or escape. “Was I really poisoned?”
There was one thing that you appreciated about Natasha and that was her blunt honesty, not one to ever sugarcoat her words, “You were”.
“But… But how? I mean… the soup, Rafael, he wouldn’t-”. You stopped yourself talking, trying to envision all the interactions you’d had with him but only one thing repeated through your thoughts: Don’t trust anyone. That was one of the first rules Steve had taught you. “I don’t understand why? He seemed so nice to me, is his name even Rafael? Was everything a lie?”
“That’s what they’re just finding out. Apparently, the friend of a friend rouse was made up including his credentials, usually, our background checks are very thorough but he had some help to slip through the cracks”.
“Do you know what help he had? Who it was, I mean?”
Natasha for once seemed to think before she spoke which unnerved you, knowing that whoever’s name she spoke next wouldn’t be good news.
The monitor displaying your heartbeat began to beep as it increased with the dread that was settling through your body.
“All signs are currently pointing to Pierce”.
Your eyes closed as you tried to remember how to breathe. You knew about Alexander Pierce. Everyone did. He was ruthless and had plenty of finances and power to pay for his success but not only this, he had been one of the top employees of Hydra and usually in charge of the Winter Soldier. So yes, you all knew a lot about Alexander Pierce and his name was one to send fear through any of those involved in the Rogers mafia, even Steve.
As you opened your eyes again to look at Natasha, you could tell she wanted to tell you more but was holding the information to not panic you further but you needed to know. “Please just tell me whatever it is you’re not telling me”.
“We think he paid this guy to come and spy on Steve and Bbucky and it seems he put his sights on you. Specifically.. Because you’re their biggest weakness and it seemed like everyone knows that”.
Your face warmed with fear and anger, as fear prickled the corner of your eyes, “So what, now I’m not even safe in my own home?”
“That’s not-” Tasha began to lean forward in her seat but another voice cut her off.
“No, you weren’t safe in your own home”. Steve stood at your hospital room door, dressed casually in a black shirt and jeans, looking nothing out of the ordinary but his face was wrath of calm and anger. Your eyes snapped from him to Bucky who had looked just as serious but as your eyes connected with his, the hard lines of his face smoothed out into a weak smile.
The two of them step into the room as Natasha stands, informing everyone that she’d give us some space and guard the door.
You’re trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, to keep them from slipping and cascading down your cheeks, not wanting your boyfriends to feel any more guilt but as you took a deep breath in, a sob erupts through you and you can’t keep the emotions back anymore.
You attempted to hide your face with your hands, even with the added difficulty of having tubes and wires attached to the backs of your hands and the tips of your fingers. The realities of everything that had happened began to destroy any hope that you had. You’d nearly died, in your own home where you were supposed to be most safe.
Steve and Bucky sat on either side of your hospital bed, moving silently as they always did and with careful ease, gently took a hand each and pried them away from your face, stroking away any tears that continued to escape.
“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know… It’s a lot”, you tried to give reason for your crying, even though it was unnecessary. Bucky tilted your face towards him, his voice was so soft and caring that it nearly made you sob with how careful he was being with you, “Don’t apologise for crying, I tell you this all the time, Doll”.
You offered him a wet giggle, taking a few deep breaths before rambling on with your anxiety, “I bet I look like a right mess right now, I don’t even know how long I’ve been asleep for”.
They let you calm yourself down before Steve praises with his low captivating voice, “You always look beautiful, no matter how much snot is on your face”. He smiles as he manages to make you laugh before he turned serious, “It’s been 5 days, baby”.
Your face drops, “5… I’ve been asleep for 5 days?!”
“You passed out when we arrived and when they could finally stop the bleeding you-”
“Bleeding?” you questioned, remembering you were bleeding from the mouth but it didn’t seem like that much.
“The poison you’d ingested that day was a higher dose and caused internal bleeding. After they were able to stabilise you, they needed to detox you from the poison and make sure your body was healing so it was safe to keep you asleep”.
You tried to process everything that Steve had told you, it felt confusing for you to have been through so much and yet feel such little pain in your body.
As if reading your mind, Bucky once again captivated your attention as he asked, “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”
“No I’m not in any pain but I feel wrong like my body is floating in the water or something”.
“That might be due to the medications that they’ve got you on, they’re pretty strong Sweetheart”, his pet name helped to calm your disorientated mind, clinging on to the familiarity and focusing on the way both of their hands were holding yours and stroking tiny circles in your skin,
“Did you get the answers you wanted, from Rafael, or whatever his name is”.
Steve and Bucky shared a glance between each other but Steve decided to be the one to answer. “We got the answers, it was as Nat was explaining. Pierce wanted someone in the gang, spying and getting as close to us as possible and I guess they somehow managed to weasel their way in and tried to succeed with their plan to hit our weak spot”.
You took a deep breath to try and reduce the rising anxiety in the pit of your stomach before asking tentatively, “So what happens now? With Pierce I mean.”
“That’s a problem for another time, just need you to get better first”, Bucky interjected, lifting your hand to kiss the few fingers that were attached with clips or wires.
You tried to smile at him, wanting him to know how much you appreciate him but the feeling never met your eyes and this seemed to twist something in Steve and Bucky. Both of their demeanours changed, no longer were you looking at just your boyfriends but also the mafia boss and his second in command, mixing business with family.
Bucky began talking first, tone strong and husky, “This isn’t something we are taking likely. Sam’s already spent the last day and a half revisiting everyone’s past, making sure there are no other moles that have slipped through the cracks. No new faces are allowed anywhere near our home or you.”
As he spoke, you managed sure to nod your head and try to squeeze his hand in understanding. Steve shifted in his chair, capturing your attention as he continued the discussion. “You are safe and you should have been safe but we let you down, you were vulnerable when we weren’t there to protect you like we promised we would. We let you down, we broke our promise, we could understand if you didn’t want-”.
“Whatever you’re about to say you better forget about it right now”, you say sternly, heartbeat beginning to race on the monitor again as Steve’s mouth shut quickly with a snap. “The idea of being your weakness has always frightened me but, I could also be your greatest strength. I mean - Look at what you’ve been going just to protect the house, to protect me. I know you feel like you’ve let me down but I don’t feel let down in any way. Yes, of course, what’s happened is scary, especially in our home but I doubt it’ll ever happen again. They can try and tear us apart, they can try, but they won’t break us, they can’t break us. We have to remain on top ok? I always feel safe and trusted when I’,m with you both so please, don’t ever feel like I'm not because I am. I’ll always love you both, I’m not going anywhere”.
You sucked in air greedily after your short speech, the building emotions spilling freely everything you truly believed to the men beside you, not wishing for them to ever feel doubt for the relationship or how you felt.
Looking between them both, your heart sank as you noticed Bucky quickly wipe the corner of his eye. “I thought you said no more tears”, you spoke softly whilst trying to wipe away a stray tear.
“That’s before you decided to swoon me with your speech”, he quipped back, the light returning to his eyes once more as you laughed.
“I love you Bucky”.
“I love you, Doll”, standing from his chair, his metal hand stroked over the side of your face as he captured your lips with his, lingering for a few beautiful seconds before sitting back down.
Steve had lifted your hand during your speech and was kissing your palm and you reached out to stroke his beard, “I love you, Steve”.
He too stood, just as Bucky had but he kissed your forehead first, breathing you in for a moment before doing the same against your lips. “I love you too, so much baby”.
As Steve sat back down, your eyes began to feel heavy, all of the strong emotions exhausted you completely. “Will you both be here when I wake up? Not that I’m complaining about Natasha but she doesn’t spoon me like you both do”.
They both chuckle under their breath before Steve promises, “We aren’t going anywhere, sleep, Sweetheart”.
#stucky x reader#stucky smut#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers#stucky#bucky x reader#bucky smut#bucky#bucky barnes#marvel smut#mafia au#mafia stucky#mine*
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Cherry Flavored
Smut & Some Angst.
Paring: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw & Reader (call sign: Cherry)
Word count: 4 k
Summary: All that Rooster needed to do was let out some steam.
Authors note: I don’t even know how I came up with this but I hope you like it <3. If you guys have any ideas you would like me to right about I’m all open for some requests.
***
Rooster didn’t even notice his arms were feeling sore until he was in the showers. He could hear the mix of all of the other guys voices, and all of them came to the same conclusion. Maverick had kicked everyone’s ass.
Including him. Twice.
He was so mad at himself. He should’ve taken the damn shot.
And fucking Coyote flirting with you since the call back isn’t really letting him be at his fullest.
You always politely declined him. Politely as in you said no thank you and he took it as a try harder.
And every time it took everything in Rooster not to tell him off.
All of the whistles had made him turn his head towards the door. “If it ain’t Cherry and Phoenix” Hangman said when saw you walk in the room.
The collar of your shirt still had sweat around it and your suit was half way undone.
You were one of the two female pilots that were recalled to Top Gun. Most of the time you got treated as equals, but they were moments like this where the guys were just being stupid.
You lock eyes with Rooster. He doesn’t hold it for more than a couple of seconds. “Don’t worry lady’s, we are out of here”. Hangman says, you are actually grateful that they’ve respected your privacy. “Showers are all yours”.
He seems irritated and upset. You can’t do anything about it right now, not in front of everyone.
You started to fool around with him a couple a years ago. Sneaking around, just letting some steam off was the whole purpose of it.
It wasn’t your intention to grow feelings for him. You both stayed together for the holidays, neither of you had families to go back to, so you kept each other company.
Rooster sure wasn’t expecting to find himself asking for you to give him a chance.
But how couldn’t he. Rooster was crazy over you.
The decision to keep it a secret was mutual. You didn’t want to risk a transfer to a different unit. Truth is you guys were a good team in the air, and you couldn’t trust anybody else to not get you killed up there.
“Come on Rooster, don’t try to get lucky” Harvard patted him on the back before leaving the room, without of course giving you a last glance.
“Are you messing around with Rooster?” Phoenix asked with a smirk on her face once they were alone.
“What?” No, no, no, she doesn’t know. “I’m not messing around with nobody”.
“You don’t sound so sure” she teases.
“Oh shut up”.
You feel somewhat unsteady when you get the sensation that she isn’t joking around. Shit, Phoenix is like a sister to Bradley, of course she’s going to know when something is off about him.
“Coyote and Hangman would be terribly heartbroken” honestly starts feeling like she is trying to get something out of you. “I can’t blame you though”.
Hangman would never admit to it sober, but during a late night drunk conversation with Phoenix it had slipped his mouth how he saw you almost naked in the showers.
It was an accident, genuinely.
He wasn’t a pervert he had just been stupid enough to forget his keys under his spare shirt in his locker.
Now maybe he wasn’t a good team player but he was sure a gentleman, nobody but Phoenix knew about it.
The image of you getting undressed had been the only thing helping him get off for the next week or so. He never made a move on you in a serious type of manner; however, he would occasionally flirt when he got a little too cocky.
“Whatever”. You answer.
You ignore her comments and head to take a shower. The warm water felt delicious over your skin. The training today has been hard— embarrassing you would say. You are supposed to be the best of the best, and here comes this guy that took everyone down with little to no effort.
But the 200 push-ups under the California sun were the worst part of it all. You really don’t want to complain, because Rooster had to do double of that.
You make sure to get done before Phoenix is. You hurry to your small designated room before she asks more questions and you get too annoyed at her.
It’s an hour till midnight when you go to Rooster’s room. You decided it was better to give him some time to cool off before you checked up on him.
“Hey” he doesn’t say anything he just moves aside to make room for you to come in.
You watch him walk back and take a seat at the edge of his bed. His face is painted with exhaustion, he’s still upset for what you could tell.
Your hand drops on his shoulder when you sit next to him, trying to give him some sort of comfort. “It’s alright Rooster, he smoked everyone else out there”.
“He pulled my papers”.
“What? Maverick?” You knew he had a rattle going on with him but he never mentioned why.
“He pulled my application on the naval academy” his voice was a mix of gloom and anger. “Set me back four years”.
“What you did today, you could’ve got yourself kicked out” You know how he lets anger blind him. He’s just a guy that lets his emotions get the best of him.
“Don’t worry about it—“
“I am” You slightly raise your voice, You’re not going to sit there letting him pity himself. Bradley is a great pilot he just needs to loosen up a little. “You can’t leave us flying with Hangman”.
“I’m sorry” he finally looks at you, you feel the palm of his hand gently squeeze your inner thigh.
“I don’t want you to apologize to me, I just want you to prove him wrong”.
He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning in, pressing his lips sweetly against yours.
They stay still for a second and pulls back, pressing his forehead on your own. You know that no matter how much time goes by, he’ll always be breathtaking to you.
You are the one that decides to make the next move. Wanting to make him feel good, help him relax a little. You move your lips gradually over his without any intention at first.
Slowly as you deepen the kiss you straddle his lap, his fingers immediately dig in the skin of your hips holding you steady, knowing your next move.
He knows it’s a bad idea to fuck you in the dorm rooms, shit, Yale and Coyote were sleeping in the rooms next to his, maybe he wouldn’t mind finally putting and end to Coyote insistence on you, but he knew it wasn’t the place or time.
Your fingers slide into his golden hair when his tongue meets yours. He isn’t trying to get carried away but he can help to get rid of your shirt completely when your hand gets lost inside his boxers.
His hands are roaming from your waist to your breasts. He covers them with his hands, squeezing them softly earning a moan from you.
It’s all it took for him to return to his senses.
“Wait, wait, babe wait” he sounds rushed as he’s trying to catch his breath again. “We can’t, not here”.
“Just relax” You shushed him.
“They’re going to hear us”. He’s doing his best to be the nice guy and stop you, but he’s had a shitty day and the idea of intimacy with his girl, was sounding very good at the moment.
He’s looking at you with expectant eyes, that’s all you need for you to kneel in front of him and tug the waistband of his boxers.
“You just gotta make sure you're very quiet then”.
Once your hand is around his cock he lets out a shaky breath. You work your hand along his shaft and seconds later his hand is on top of your own, guiding the speed. “A little slower”. The breathes out.
You do as he says. Your thumb brushes against his tip a couple of times, gaining a sigh from him. God, you love the sounds he makes.
“Feeling better?” You let out a giggle with a soft smile.
“Fuck yes” he groans.
You wrap your lips on him without warning, he throws back his head, hissing and moaning your name in what sounded like a whisper.
His fingers get tangled in your hair carefully undoing the tie holding your ponytail up. He has always loved you with your hair down. But what he loves the most is when he can just take it in a fistful for himself to guide your movements.
“You always take me so good baby” he grunts.
Rooster looks down on you. His eyes trail to your arched back and those boy shorts that barely covered your ass, all he can think is how good it looks from where he’s at.
That sight alone makes him lose his mind in between gasps and groans. It’s always so difficult for him to maintain eye contact when you always look so perfect. And it’s all just for him.
He moans getting all caught up in the moment, you don’t even pay attention to the tears forming in the corner of your eyes when he hits the back of your throat.
Your tongue swirls around his tip and your hand works on whatever you mouth can’t reach. He hissed pushing the hair off your forehead. “Fuck”.
His eyes meet yours right before he’s about to cum. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth slightly opened. He pulls himself out and next thing you feel is the warm strings covering your cleavage.
It takes a moment for him to compose his breath, meanwhile you clean yourself with the towel sitting on the chair next to his bed.
He tucks himself back in his boxers. He shifts in his twin size bed, lifting his body on his elbows.
He gets lost looking at the cherry tattoo on your shoulder, the reason you earned your call sign. He lets out a smirk remembering the time you were drunk and complaining that you wanted your call sign to be Echo, not the stupid tattoo you got when you’d just turned 18.
“Hey…” he reaches out for you making you fall on his lap.
You know he wants to return the favor when he turns you under him and starts kissing you hard. Fingers start to play on the waistband of your shorts teasing you. But you're not falling for it.
His lips trail off down your neck where he nips on the skin of your collar bones. “Oh no Bradshaw, I have to go”.
He yanks his head up looking a little lost. He completely forgot he was the one trying to stop you all along.
“Come on, just stay for a little bit”.
You smile at his childish actions. You know if you stay in his room you're ending up getting tangled in his sheets and to be honest it hasn’t been long since you guys had sex.
Truth is you ended up fucking him in some random motel after his little preformance in the Hard Deck.
“Unless you want to explain to Cyclone, why was I in your room all night Lieutenant Bradshaw” He smiles playfully kissing your jaw and lastly he leaves a soft kiss on your lips.
“I think I’m good on that one”.
“I thought so too”
You leave before it gets any later than it already is.
You hope that’s enough to get him off his thoughts for a bit– and a better mood.
And it works for what you could tell. It was all going alright but when it was his turn to do the exercise Maverick wasn’t exactly too constructive about it.
The best way to describe today’s training was no other than a shit show.
Maverick and Rooster had put on one hell of a performance in front of everyone. But what tied it all together was Hangman’s comments on Rooster's dad. To be more specific how he passed flying with Maverick.
“Hey!”. You yell at Hangman before he turns the corner.
“Cherry” He sighs “Your pretty little face is becoming more annoying every–“ you slap him across his face, you’d like to say you stopped there but before he could steady himself you push him against the wall. “Ouch”.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” your voice comes out more broken than strong. “His problems aren’t for you to broadcast in front of everyone”.
“Is it getting too personal with Rooster?”. He sounds pretty cynical and that smile painted across his face only made you angrier. “Because I have to say I thought I was more of your type”.
“You’re such a fucking asshole Jake”.
“Lighten up Cherry, Jesus”. He winks not before looking at you up and down. “I’m feeling a little jealous”.
“I swear–“
“Guys just stop” Phoenix interrupted you both before the situation escalated.
As soon as she says that you’re on your way to Bradley’s dorm. Phoenix tries to stop you to try and calm the situación down but it honestly comes out as more annoying than helpful.
You’re only knocking a couple of times on his door before he opens it.
His suit is half way undone, the arms are wrapped around his waist and he’s still clearly mad about the whole situation.
His eyes don’t soften as they usually do when he looks at you. In fact his hand is wrapped around your arm pulling you into his room.
“I’m so fucking over this shit” He tells you before you could say anything. “What does he fucking want me to do?”.
“Rooster…” he lets you reach out for his shoulder. You don’t want to say anything, he can be a real hothead when he’s mad, and honestly he’s had enough for today.
“And Hangman, fuck–“ He’s clearly very frustrated, you get, he’s feeling cornered and embarrassed, damn he almost hit the guy in front of the whole group.
“I slapped him just minute ago” you say and he chuckles slightly, the last reaction you thought you’d get from him right.
You hand finds his squeezing it gently.
He allows himself to relax a little. It’s just you, it’s always alright when he's with you.
He joins your lips with his before he thinks too much about it. He presses your back against the wood of the door, taking you by surprise. It takes you a moment to respond and sync up with his pace.
His lips feel rough over yours– desperate would be a better way to describe it. But he’s hurt, you at least could attempt to try and talk to him.
“Hey, we should –“ His head shakes denying anything you’re trying to say to him. He quickly shuts you up by pressing his mouth onto yours, harder this time. His tongue finds its way inside your mouth and you can’t help but to moan into his. “Rooster”.
He wants a distraction. And to be honest you could use one too. There was no point in resisting him.
The way you kiss him is almost in unspoken agreement between both of you. Your hands immediately shoot to his hair and down his neck.
“I need you baby”. He whispers on your skin. Shit alright.
Your hands start to untie the arms of his suit pulling it all the way down.
He straightens you up and his lips are on your neck, he nips the skin from that area until he manages to get a whimper out of your mouth. He smiles trying to catch a breath.
You push him off until the back of his knees hits his bed. He falls into the mattress lifting himself with his elbows. He looks at you impatiently for your next move.
You have to say the part you love the most of fucking with Rooster is the constant fight of who’s in charge.
And honestly Bradley can’t get enough of it either. The only thing rolling on his mind is how hot you look trying to handle him.
And shit, you looked even better stripping in front of him right now.
His gaze doesn’t leave you a single time. It follows you undoing your boots but he’s most excited when you slowly start to unzip your suit.
He reaches out to you trying to help you finish the job but he only gets pushed back into the mattress.
“Not yet” there is a small grin forming on his face by watching you step out of your suit. His eyes trail from your legs to your face. You’d stop being shy and nervous around him from the first couple of times sleeping with him. Fuck, you weren’t fully undressed and there he was hard as rock inside of his boxers.
You crawl over him and he still doesn't dare to touch you, his eyes never leave your own. You could still perceive a hint of the scent of musk and vanilla on him. Your knees stop when they reach his lap and you settle right on top of his cock.
“You’re going to have to give me a little more than that sweetheart” You chuckle having fun with him. Your palm pushes his chest down, you slowly start grinding on him, having him hiss right away “There we go”. Rooster groans.
You finally feel his tight grip on your hips making your pace faster. His hands trail up your sides lifting your shirt all the way up your rib cage until it’s off your body. The palm of his hand slides from your bellybutton to your breast squeezing and kneading them.
“Shit” he chokes out. He pulls you down, meeting him in a messy kiss. “I want to fuck you so badly already”.
He quickly puts on one of the condoms in his night stand before his mind drifts anywhere else.
“That eager Bradshaw?” that’s all it takes for him to hook his hands on the back of your thighs. He lifted you without a problem and in a second he had your back against the wall.
“You have no idea” He grinds a couple of more times on you adjusting your thighs around his waist making sure he has you how he wants you. “Hold tight babe”.
He stretched his neck up to keep his lips against yours moaning against them as he slammed into you again.
You are the one that guides him inside you, having you both gasp at the new sensation. Almost right away he is pounding hard into you leaving no time for you to adjust to him.
You have to steady yourself on his shoulders when you feel him go deeper. He bites the skin of your collarbone softly passing the tip of his tongue over it. He's always careful not to leave any sort of marks on you but this time he didn’t even care.
He gripped your thighs tightly when you clenched around him as the tip of his cock kept brushing on your sweet spot.
“Holy fuck–“ you say breathlessly.
He knows that you guys aren’t loud enough for someone else to hear. But he can’t help to like the thought of you moaning his name for everyone to hear that you're his.
Your face hides in the crook of his neck leaving open mouth kisses along it, loving the sensation of his moans vibrating against his throat.
Your eyes glide down taking a look at where your bodies are joined. The pleasure building inside you starts to feel a little overwhelming, your thighs tense up and your forehead ends up resting over his “Rooster”. It comes out more like a plead than you intended and it drives him crazy.
“I know baby”. He whispers.
He jerks you up in a sudden move, his arm on your waist holding you tighter against him. He’s thrusting faster and harder than before. Your nails dig into the skin of his shoulder blades in an attempt to hold on to him as best as you can.
It almost feels as if he is pulling out completely as he slams as deep and hard as he can into you.
You got so lost into him that you almost didn’t realize that you were about to cum. “Are you almost there?” He asks and you can bring yourself to answer so the only response you can give him is a desperate whimper.
He pounds a few more times and it finally explodes on you. He’s kissing you to drown the moans you're making. And he keeps doing it while he’s finally coming. It hits him harder than he thought it would, he feels like he's melting into you.
You take a moment to look at him. You’re sure he’s the most handsome guy you’ve seen in your life. God, you’re so in love with him.
You stay with him until he falls asleep. He usually doesn’t sleep very well but his soft snoring filled the room not too long after.
You leave his room making sure to set his alarm for the morning.
It wasn’t late so seeing Maverick waiting outside your door didn’t surprise you that much.
“Lieutenant Metcalf” You felt he was angry. Part of you was glad he wasn’t disappointed.
You’ve known him for a long time, your grandfather was his instructor when he was in Top Gun. You’d occasionally check on him throughout the years but never were exactly close to him, not like he is– or was– with Rooster.
“Are you here to lecture me?” You weren’t intending to come out as defensive as you did.
“No, but it’s not that hard to put one and two together”. He’s still irritated from training and you can’t blame him. “I should kick one of you off the team” his arms were crossed over his chest.
The thing about Maverick is that you knew no matter how bad his ass was in the line he would always have the back of the people he loved.
“Are you?” He tried to ignore the obvious fact that you look like you just got fucked despite your efforts of trying to clean your self up.
“That’s up to you”. His voice got softer. “Get some rest Cherry”.
“Yes sir”.
Contrary to Rooster, you kept tossing and turning in the bed all night. Your mind just kept on wandering off to what could happen to Bradley and you once Maverick was out of the picture.
You really didn’t want to think of the possibility of not flying with him anymore.
Best thing for now is to keep your hands off each other and hope for the best.
That was until you were headed to the beach the very next day and the hickeys on your tits were very visible with the sports bra you were planning to wear.
You would’ve gotten away with the simple white shirt you used as your cover up if Coyote and Hangman hadn't decided to be funny and pulled you and Phoenix to the water making your shirt very see through.
“Damn Cherry, you should've told me I was being too hard last night”. Jake pointed out sarcastically at the now visible dark marks on your chest. “You know how much I hate putting on a show”.
“I bet you do Hangman” Rooster said, coming up towards you, helping you out of the water and draping his hawaiian shirt on your shoulders and wrapping one of his hands on your waist lifting you to his side.
He didn’t care that all eyes were on you guys, but shit, Cyclone didn’t have to show up right at that moment.
You knew you were fucked when he whispered to Maverick.
“What’s going on with those two?” He pointed out to both of you.
“They must be very competitive sir”.
#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster#rooster angst#rooster one shot#rooster smut#rooster top gun#top gun#top gun maverick
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Dating So Mun headcanons
(this is a long one)
Pairing: So Mun x civilian!fem!reader
Warnings: fluff, angst if you squint, suggestive?? idk, teeny tiny spoilers from avengers: endgame?? y’all will understand when you read this THIS TAKES PLACE IN S2 BUT ALL IS WELL
A/N: I finished tuc last episodes and I’m so sad bc my weekly dose of happiness is over:(( anyways I’m falling more and more inlove with So Mun and wrote this
OKAY SO
LET'S GET STARTED
So yall met at a food stall and bonded over food
You were a regular at one of the food stalls and really loved by the old lady running the stall
She always gives you samples of new dishes or free food
Even though you would argue with her and try giving her money but she wasn’t having it
ANYWAYS
So Mun had just finished dealing with a level one spirit
Not wanting to disturb the other counters about it as it was just a mere level one spirit and was really easy to deal with
And he decided to stop by the food stalls for a quick snack bc he was feeling hungry
You were at the food stall speaking happily with the old lady
As fate would have it, So Mun found himself at the same stall as you drawn to the mouthwatering aroma of the popular dish the old lady was selling
Your guys eyes met briefly and you two felt an instant connection
As if the universe had conspired to bring yall together
So Mun decided to be the first one to struck up a conversation and asked for your recommendation among the food options
And since you were a regular and you couldn’t pass on the opportunity of speaking to the incredibly handsome man with long luscious curly hair
You decided to share your favorite food/dishes with him
You guys ended up spending the evening chatting and sharing delicious food
And the rest is history
NOW LET'S START WITH YALLS RELATIONSHIP
So Mun’s top priority is your safety
Him being a counter is also the main reason of him being protective
And bc he is just protective over his loved ones
Like he will insist on walking you home no matter what
Picking you up from places
Him always walking on the side of the road
Always holding your hand
He’d always prioritize your safety and well-being
Going above and beyond to keep you out of harm’s way
So Mun wears his heart on his sleeve and is very verbal about his love
Always providing with words of reassurance and love
So Mun did not plan in any way how to tell you about his counter side
He knew he would get a warning from Yung but just couldn’t hold back and continue to lie to you
Like mans loves you too much and cannot physically lie to you too long
So it happened one day
So Mun had just got finished with a particularly hard mission with a level 3 spirit
And something in him just had to see you no matter what
Despite the other counters asking him where he is going
Or Ms. Chu asking to heal him before he leaves where ever he is going
So Mun didn’t listen he only had one thing on his mind and that was you
While you started noticing him disappearing at odd hours
And sometimes the only time you guys would have time to talk would be through late night facetime calls
Or him saying that something urgent came up
You were patient and didn’t want to force it out of him so you didn’t ask him much about him
Besides you trust So Mun to know that he would speak with you when the time comes
One day So Mun had showed up at your door with a cut on his lip, one on his cheek and blood on the side of mouth and forehead after the mission with the level 3 spirit
When you opened your apartment door So Mun just engulfed you in a tight hug
You could also feel something wet on your shoulder where So Mun had nuzzled his face
You came to the conclusion that he was crying
You just stood there rubbing his back and whispering ‘it’s okay’ or ‘I got you baby’ while waiting for him to calm down
When he did calm down you silently dragged him to your bathroom and sat him down on the toilet seat
You grabbed your supplies to clean his cuts while your hands were shaking from worry
You just silently cleaned his wounds
Having silence from So Mun was also concerning considering that he is a very talkative person
When you got done cleaning his wounds you crouched in front of him
“What happened, darling?” you asked in a gentle whisper
That’s when So Mun told you everything
Him being a counter
About the evil spirits
About the other counters
And how tonight’s mission was hard and that he felt like he had to see you instead of letting one of the counters heal him
He also mentioned how he would get a warning from ‘Yung’ for telling you this
You did scold him a bit about that
But he couldn’t hold it in anymore
Like he can never ever lie to you he loves you too much to do that
When he got done talking you just silently hugged him
Holding him close to your chest and pressing small kisses to his forehead
That’s how the rest of the night went
You comforting So Mun and him telling you more about him being a counter
And now you are even more worried and concerned about So Mun
Often waiting for his call or him when he is on mission’s
Now to be honest So Mun was kind of nervous about introducing you to the rest
They can be a bit… much sometimes
He wants everything to go smoothly
So Mun waited for the right moment to introduce you to the others
So he decides to tell the counters first
He casually drops the news when they are all having dinner together at the hideout
The moment the sentence i have a girlfriend leaves his mouth
It’s silence
Fucking silence even Jeok Bong is stunned
Before all hell breaks loose and everywhere is throwing questions at poor So Mun
“Girlfriend?” “When and how and how long!??” “How does he get a girlfriend before me!”
And when he tells them that you know about the counter part
MS CHU AND HANA GO OFF ON HIM
SCOLDING THE SHIT OUTTA HIM
But at the end they calm down and Ms Chu encourages So Mun to invite you over for dinner:))
So Mun playfully not threatens the other counters to act normal and not scare you off
When So Mun then mentioned to you about the counters wanting to meet you
You panic like what if they don't like you? What if they get mad that you know about them being counters?
You know that these people are important to So Mun
They are like his family and you want their approval
So you and So Mun agree on going to dinner and meeting the counters
Ms Chu wanted to make you her infamous and delicious noodles
At the start the vibe is slightly tense before Jang Mul breaks the silence with his booming voice
Ms Chu thinks you are very pretty, and sweet, and perfect for So Mun
Motak and Jeok Bong do not pass off the chance to tease the shit out of So Mun
While Hana has only one question:
“Why him??”
Obviously she’s joking
She’s already planning y'all's wedding in her head, and swears to protect you and So Mun more no matter what
So all of the counters adore you to put it plainly
After the dinner you come around for sleepovers with So Mun much more
Always being a part of game and movie nights with the other counters
And then end the night by cuddling and falling asleep with So Mun
So Mun’s determination and dedication in his counter duties would also translate into his relationship
If you ever face challenges or obstacles you can count on him to stand by your side and work tirelessly to overcome them
That being said he never ever let’s both of you go to bed angry after a fight even though yall dont have many of them
He cannot stand the fact of going to bed angst at you or knowing that you are angry at him
Dates with So Mun are always different
It can be a stroll in the park, cooking a meal together, movie night with lot’s of kissing as well, visiting an art gallery bc he loves art so much and you can listen to him talk for hours, late night snacks, bookstore dates, going to the amusement park, star gazing etc
Like dates with him are always so fun and loving
Bc this man uses all his love on these dates bc he just loves you so much.
So Mun has seen a lot of supernatural shit no he’d have a special appreciation for the ordinary, everyday moments you share together
Like a simple meal or a walk in the park would mean a lot to him
Speaking of art
This man has so many drawings of you
Any chance he gets he will draw you no matter what
He has so many sketches of you while you are doing different things
Bc he thinks you are so pretty
The prettiest in the whole world
The drawings can’t do justice to your beauty he insists
Movie nights with him are always fun
Like he is always down to have a marvel movie marathon with you
Cmon guy’s So Mun LOVES comics you cannot not tell me he doesn’t like marvel especially the comics
Will absolutely hold you in his arms and coo and comfort you when you sob at Tony and Natasha’s death while watching Avenger: Endgame
Like it hurts everytime
Trust me it does;((
So Mun is your biggest cheerleader in your life
Like mans is always there for you cheering you no matter what
So Mun might occasionally struggle with balancing his duties as a counter and his desire to spend time with you
There would be rare moments of conflict but he always prioritize you and your safety
WEARING HIS JACKETS!!!
(or wearing his clothes in general!!)
If you’re cold he is handing you his jacket
And since he already wears oversized ones they are even bigger on you no matter what
Like you see his closet and just snatch whatever you like
He doesn’t mind
He LOVES seeing you in his clothes
HE THINKS YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN THEM
LIKE HE SQUISHES AND PINCHES YOUR CHEEKS
AND COOS AT HOW ADORABLE YOU LOOK IN HIS CLOTHES
Physical touch is one of So Mun’s biggest love language
So he always has an arm around you
A hand on your thigh
Rubbing his thumb on your palm
Holding pinkies
ALSO
MAKEOUT SESSIONS!!
You guys have been caught more than once making out by the others
LIKe
THIS MAN LOVES KISSING YOU
NO MATTER WHAT
And he is damn good at it too
Cocky mf will smirk when he sees how flustered you get after a heated makeout session
Loves having you on his lap while kissing you
Also please tug/pull at his hair like he secretly loves it
THIS MAN DEFINITELY GROANS WHEN YOU TUG AT HIS HAIR
CURRENTLY KICKING MY FEET, GIGGLING, TWIRLING MY HAIRKSJDJSKSHDKJDK
Loves giving you hickies
Like he almost goes feral at seeing the mark that HE gave you on your neck
Mf will purposely give you one on an obvious place that you forget to cover up
And when the others see it they will be shocked
“Yah! You attacked the poor girl!”
“Your neck looks like it’s been mauled.”
But this cocky bastard isn’t fazed
Is fucking proud instead
ALSO
BEING THE MENACE HE IS
When there isn’t any place for you to sit in a setting or place
hE WILL SMIRK
FUCKING MAN SPREAD HIS LEGS
AND TAP HIS THIGH TO INDICATE THAT HE WANTS YOU TO SIT THERE
bro has too much rizz
LIKE IF YOU WALK PAST HIM AND HE FEELS LIKE IT HE WILL PULL YOU ONTO HIS LAP AND WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND YOUR WAIST AND LEAVE KISSES ON YOUR NECK
I'M CURRENTLY MALFUNCTIONING
Also here are some things that So Mun unintentionally does that you think is so attractive and it drives you crazy
When you are standing in the way of him
He will gently grip your waist and move you aside while softly whispering in your ear, “Excuse me, baby.”
LIKE AHHHSKDHDKSK IT JUST MAKES YOUR HEART EXPLODE
There is a noticeable height difference between you two and you find it so attractive when he slightly leans down bc he can’t hear you completely
It just makes you stutter for a moment and collect yourself
Also i feel like So Mun if the type of guy to wear gray sweatpants with either, a t shirt or a compression shirt
And that shit is so sexy
Like you can just sit and watch him in that attire train for hours
Definitely does it to tease you sometimes as well
You’ve met his grandparents and they love you sm
Especially his grandmother
She adores you
And you love her bc she is so genuinely kind hatred and sweet
“Munyoung has sent So Mun an gel to take care of him!”
You almost cried when she told you that
When you are having sleepovers with So Mun at the hideout and y'all can’t sleep you guys will just sit around in the kitchen and eat snacks
Like just sitting on the floor, your head on So Mun’s lap
His hand tangled in your hair and massaging your scalp
While eating snacks and just talking
Or sometimes when you two have too much energy yall will have a singing session
You guy’s would sing and jam out to Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift, or Chase Atalantic
Istg So Mun is so Lana Del Rey and Chase Atlantic coded idc what yall say
You stand in the boxing ring pretending to be the singer giving a performance
While So Mun is outside the ring cheering you on
Acting like your biggest fan he is anyways
And cheering on encouraging words
“Yeah! That’s my talented baby!”
“You’re doing so good!”
“My pretty girl!”
You guys have been yelled at and sent to your room more than twice by Hana
Who wakes up by the noise
You always carry around multiple hair ties on your wrist for So Mun
Bc you know that he sometimes get irritated when his hair gets in his face
So you either just tie his hair in a ponytail and kiss his forehead
Or he borrows the hair tie from you and presses a kiss to your lips
He treasures all of your hair ties
Like he was on the verge of tears when he once lost your hair tie on a mission
ANYWAYS here are some pet names So Mun calls you by:
Sweetheart: So Mun uses this classic term of endearment bc it’s simple and affectionate
Sunshine: So Mun might use this one bc you bring warmth and light to his life
Precious: He values the people he cares about deeply, and this pet name would show just how important you are to him
Beloved: So Mun is a sincere and devoted guy and he would want you to know how deeply he cares for you. “Beloved” would be a heartfelt way to express his affection
Dearest: This pet name simply emphasizes that you hold a special and dear place in his heart and it’s a reflection of his genuine feelings for you
In conclusion So Mun is the most loving, precious, loyal, sweet, and caring partner
We all need a So Mun in our lives.
Note: gifs, pictures, and header DOES NOT belong to me. CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS!! Feedback is appreciated.
#the uncanny counter#the uncanny counter season 2#the uncanny counter: counter punch#kdrama#so mun#the uncanny counter so mun#so mun the uncanny counter#so mun x reader#the uncanny counter x reader#jo byung gyu#jo byeong gyu#jo byung gyu x reader#jo byeong guy x reader#kdramaimagine#kdramaimagines#kdrama scenarios#kdramascenario#kdrama x reader#do hana#ga motak#jangmul#na jeok bong#ms chu
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never forgetting about you
->warnings: yandere themes, manipulation, angst, maybe this can be read without being yandere at all? Spoiler from the main story ending
-> request by anon! Hi 👋 I know I requested the same thing, but I forgot to add some details. Can you do a yandere sung jin woo where the reader is from the real world but falls in love with sung jin woo even though the reader knew that he was going to fall in love with who I forgot her name is so the reader gives him a yellow tulip flower ( which I think means love from one side ) and then the reader goes back to the real world and after some years sung jin woo brings the reader back and keeps them with him (sorry English isn't my first language :) anyway have a good day ♥︎~
->a/n: have a good day too anon! I loved writing this one since i never got a request like that before :) it was kinda of a challenge, but trust me that only made me more happier when I finished this. and I changed the flower, since i do know that yellow roses means friendship.
-> maybe this was all a dream, a really realistic one, yet you don’t seem to find a way to awake from it no matter what. you are living in a apartment in south korea, that’s fine and you can handle it, you are a grown up adult inside a teenager body who knows to take care of yourself… but the huge portal in front of your ‘home’ was what caught you off the guard.
-> the design was similar and didn’t took much time to realize you are inside the world of solo leveling, as much that sound exciting and a little weird, you felt something bad coming up. Could that be since you know how the story is going to end? Probably so, but it’s a dream so why not spend your short time here to met this new place?
-> you didn’t care if it a school day or not, you dressed in comfortable clothes, got your backpack and began walking around the streets while admiring every corner. Even with you being incapable to enter the portals for oblivious reasons, seeing such new environment is enough to make you wonder if this truly a dream, not to mention the delicious desserts that you brought during you little journey til sun dawn.
-> the next day, you got scared when you realize you still inside of this new world, where your new parents discovered you ditch class to walk around. That’s don’t sound well neither the grounding you received it from them, you felt bad with how worried they look and the many tears in their eyes, making you feeling so guilty about it. Such a great way to find out you are stuck in solo leveling forever.
-> getting used to this new life and world is actually fast? studying is now easier since you were a graduate in past life, your slowly gained your parents’ again and continue to have what you consider a normal life if you don’t count the many portals and hunter you saw in daily bases, since one of your parents is an A-rank healer and the other one works for the Korean Hunters Association, in which area? You never bothered to ask.
-> they are pretty busy with their job, yet they always made time to spend with you growing up and letting you choose what path in life you wish to have. Many people were somehow disappointed when you told that you have no desire to become a hunter like your parent, much to their happiness, knowing that you are save from dangerous situations and seeing you following your dreams to reach whatever is inside your mind.
-> what they don’t know is that your dreams ( as much it sound stupid ) is to meet the many characters you adore from the story. It don’t need to be a full interaction or get to met them and friend them, just to be near them already make you feel happier. However it didn’t took much time to met some of them as you expected.
->first you met no other than the chairman of the hunter’s association, Go Gumhee, who turned out to be a closer friend of one your parents, how much you wished to learned more about your family prior of this meeting. The old man was what you expected, someone kind and somehow fun to be around, not to mention he treats you as a family member and his wife enjoy your presence.
-> and when you grown up to leave school and to get a properly job, the old man offered one at his work, but you denied and decided to enroll in the university in order to get a degree for one of the courses there. Life going normal, yet one day you manage to met another character you love, the protagonist himself, Sung Jinwoo.
-> he is already taller and more mature by appearance, meaning the incident already happen and now he is in his way to become the strongest hunter of all times, that only make you even more excited to let him and that what you do in the first opportunity.
-> with the excuse to visit one your parents at work, you manage to met with the chairman and he introduced you to the most recent S-hunter of south korea. Honestly, you don’t know how you didn’t pass out nor asked for an autograph, could that be you were to shocked to believe in your eyes?
-> that moment happen so fast and of course, you expect to never met the protagonist again nor have a great importance in his life, regardless of being thrown inside of this world, you don’t have any special skill that make you different than most people, yet something manage to bring you two together as closer friends.
-> it was weird, to befriend the main protagonist who everyone wants to be closer, but you just got enough luck to be considered someone important in his life. Jinwoo even introduced you to his sister and mother, both who adore you in their life, not to mention the many dinners you had with them.
-> stupidly you were in love with Jinwoo, well who wouldn’t fall in love with a man like him? Gorgeous, cares about his family, good personality and an amazing cook? You did and so did —-. You can’t really blame her neither the many girls who fall over his charms, however you always knew you didn’t stood a chance with the person he is going to end with, the story is already finished when you got inside this world and you fear that you might be here one day.
-> in what seemed to be another day in your life, you gave Jinwoo a yellow rose to him before he left to another dungeon. His cheek went little red, mostly due the fact that none has ever gave him a flower, his sweet smile almost melt you immediately.
-> he thanked for such gift and left after hugging you while speaking how much your existence to him meant a lot and how he wishes to never loses you. Oh. that was weird, did something bad to Jinwoo to say something like this? Maybe, but your head is spinning so much that you can’t even think about that now.
-> the moment you stepped inside your apartment, you vision where fully black and you couldn’t hear anything nor feel when your body hit the cold ground. There is something holding you back from waking up and opening your eyes, but the sound and smell did help you recognize where you are. A hospital.
-> for what you thought to be ages, you finally open your eyes to confirm your suspicions. Laying down in a hospital bed and to make things even more crazier, you are back to the real world, not inside solo leveling. Was all of that a dream? It felt so real and you live there for years, but, according to the doctors, it was probably a dream since you were only in a coma for a few days.
-> you really don’t know what to do. was that all a dream? Those moment you had with yours parents from that world were fake? Like the people you interact there such the chairman, Jinah and even Jinwoo himself are nothing but part of your mind, still you keep those memories inside your heart, regardless of being real or not, you enjoyed every second at their side.
—
-> Jinwoo panicked when hearing the news from your parents. You just vanished from your apartment, your classmates nor coworkers saw for a few days and now you are considered missing.
-> how could that happen? you gave him that flower to him and disappear from earth, he told many of his shadow to search for you in all place of the world and yet, no sign of you anywhere. Just like you never existent at all, like you were part of their imagination, but the memories he and many others have means that you are real, just missing.
-> he desperate wants to look after you to find answer to why you vanish and where you are now, but with so many things happening right now. The monarchs are going to attack soon and he have to be there to stop them, Jinwoo has no other option than searching for you after the whole situation get solved.
-> and that he does, when he uses the cup of reincarnation, jinwoo spend years fighting the many the monarchs and monster send to defeat him, only to him being the victorious one. when he did return and began a normal life, he start looking for a way to look after you with the help of his shadow and that ‘person’ that has connections with the rulers.
-> his shadows didn’t find a trace of you and your parents even married in this new timeline, they didn’t have children, leaving bothering the rulers to know why your existence ceased and being scared, they told Jinwoo the true.
-> honestly, he never saw that coming, hearing that you are from another world and that you are back to your world almost broken him down in instant. He loves you and you left him so easily, is there any way to bring you back? Any way to use his power to make you stay at his side?
-> the rulers saw no other option than answering him and of course told him a way to bring you back with a relic of them, of course Jinwoo didn’t hesitate to bring you back to this world using the said object. And in minutes, you are back to this world, almost.
-> you exist now in this world, but you are laying down in a hospital bed in a coma that doctors fears that you won’t wake up soon. for what he knows, someone find you in a terrible state in their way to work and brought you to the closest hospital, where you are now staying. without any information about your identity or family, a doctor from the hospital and their significant other, a businessperson. those two were your parents originally in this world.
-> everything is going back together, except for you and him, Jinwoo feels that even you are back in this world, he feels empty and lonely. He can spend his time at your side, but can’t hear your sweet voice nor you laughs when he tells a stupid joke.. was this a mistake? Bringing you back in such state? Were you happier in your original world? He hopes to learn more about your true self when you finally wake up.
-> but for now, the doctors and your legal guardians wonder who is responsible for leaving so many gorgeous flowers in your room daily.
@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost
#yandere headcanon#yandere imagine#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere male#yandere manhwa#manhwa x reader#yandere solo leveling#solo leveling imagine#solo leveling x reader#sung jinwoo imagine#yandere sung jin woo#sung jin woo x reader
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Dream or Nightmare?
°☆• Part 2 of Illusions •☆°
Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader
Summary: Time passes - and Loki just can't forget you. What if he meets you again, but it doesn't turn out how he wished it would? Is there still hope for a happy end?
Warnings: angst - still quite a lot, but also fluff!
Word Count: 5,1k
a/n: I actually didn't plan to write a part 2, but well... Here we are - and I absolutely love it! 😊 Huge thanks to @hadesbabygurl and @smolvenger , who gave me the groundbreaking idea(s)! 😁
I hope this part makes y'all happy! 🧡
Tags:
@lady-rose-moon @huntress-artemiss @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @chennqingg @smolvenger @alexakeyloveloki @theaudacitytowrite @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @asgards-princess-of-mischief @eleniblue @vanilla-daydreaming @valencia-rou @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @bunny24sstuff @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovingchoices14 @linaax @mochie85 @goblingirlsarah @glitchquake (continuing in the comments)
Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist
Time was passing fast - as fast as it could tick by while being 'stuck' at the TVA.
A lot had happened.
Mobius and Loki became best friends, first and foremost. They learned to trust each other and how to work together. Ravonna Renslayer disappeared - only the Norns knew where to, and the 'Time Keepers' had been overthrown and were now replaced by a council - for which everybody who wanted could vote. All of the workers knew now, that they were variants. It was chaotic and messy at first, but Loki and Mobius offered them to get their memories back - which took an awful lot of time, but it was worth it. Friends found each other again, just like family members, couples, classmates - hel, even neighbours.
It was part of the compromise.
For the safety of the time line everybody must stay at the TVA. Time lines still had to be reset, because everybody realised that there were only two ways... Strict order or complete chaos. Sure, it was cruel and unfair, but life just wasn't.
Unlike before, though, variants didn't get pruned as before. They got a thoroughly detailed explanation what was happening and how thinks worked here. They got offered a job. A home to stay. A chance to reunite with other variants they might know. A new life.
And the concept worked.
"Are you still thinking about her?" Mobius' voice urged to Loki's ears, as they sat across from each other in their lunch break; eating a slice of cake for dessert. Well... Mobius ate it. Loki was more or less absent-mindedly poking around with a fork in the poor deliciousness. At Mobius' words, though, he stopped and looked up; being snapped out of his thoughts.
The god sighed; "I think about her every day, Mobius." shaking his head. "I can't forget. Neither the memories, nor what could've been. And especially not Y/N." Like so often, when Loki's brain put him through the torturous memories of what had happend quite a while ago, here, in the TVA, as Mobius threw him inside his very own sweet, cruel dream, tears started to form in his eyes.
Mobius' eyes softened. He felt for his friend and was truly sorry about this tragedy. "I know you can't - and I'm so sorry. I was the one who put you through this." Once again, Loki shook his head. "You couldn't know. Stop blaming yourself." "Says you."
That caused the faintest of smiles to dart over the god's face. It didn't last, though.
"Sometimes I wish I could forget, you know. Get rid of all the heartache and pain. Stop getting tortured, but..." He swallowed hard; trying to hold back the tears. "All I have left of her are my memories." In vain. A single tear was running down his cheek and dripping onto the wooden surface of the table. "But I'd rather die than losing my memories of Y/N. It's a curse. A doom loop."
Mobius sighed. "I wish I could help you... Bring her somehow to you, but... I can't." "I know, Mobius... I know..." Silence spread between the two men, but before Loki could fall deeper into the dark hole which was his own mind, the agent decided to get him - like so often out of it.
"Come on," he said; standing up. "Let's keep on working. Still got a lot to do." Loki agreed and stood up as well. They both cleaned up their place and left the cafeteria, in order to keep on working.
"I see you tomorrow." Loki nodded; giving his friend a faint smile and turned to walk away. "And hey!" The god stopped in his tracks; facing Mobius once more. "Don't think too much. I know it's hard, but... Try it, okay?" "Yeah..." "Good."
Loki's and Mobius' shift had actually ended over an hour ago, but the two worked a bit overtime; keeping Loki distracted and to get some more work done. Now, the god was on his way home, when suddenly B-15 appeared beside Loki.
"Loki."
He stopped; turning to talk to his friend. "Oh, hey B. You good?" She smiled; giving him a nod. "Sure. You, too?" The god faked a smile and nodded. "How's work going?" "Good, but, uh, I'm in a bit of a hurry and... Can you do me a favour?" Anything to distract myself. "Of course, sure. I've got time." Loki shrugged his shoulders and buried his hands in his brown work trousers. "What do you want me to do?"
B-15 held up her TemPad. "Can you bring this to the Repairs & Advancements department?" The god took the TemPad. "Sure. Um, where do I find the department? I think I've never been there."
After B-15 described Loki how he'd get to his next destination, she thanked her friend and left.
Loki headed down several hallways, before he stepped into the elevator; pressing the lowest button. It took the machine a whole while to get him on this very floor. It felt like an eternity for him - but ultimately, the familiar 'ding' tone echoed through the small space and the doors slid open. They revealed a long, high hallway with mint green cabinets lining the right side of the hallway. A lot of different things were stacked on said cabinets.
Loki gazed around; scanning his surroundings. It looked kind of... messy. Chaotic.
Hesitatingly, he stepped out of the elevator and walked cautiously down the hallway. Am I right here? He saw nobody else. Not a single soul. Sure, the lights were on; actually creating a bright and somehow cosy atmosphere, but... Nevertheless was this all a bit creepy. The god kept on walking, until he reached a room. That must be it. Hunter said the first room on the left.
He stepped inside. The room was big, high, utterly chaotic and yet organised. Big kind of racks lined the sidewalls; every shelf filled to the brim. In the middle was a huge oval-shaped counter with several things and stuff laying around on it. Most of them Loki even couldn't name. And whatever it was that hung from the ceiling, Loki had never seen something similar before.
Nobody was to be seen - or well... That's how it seemed. He stepped forward, until he reached the counter - on which stood written in big, black letters: Repairs & Advancements. Must be right, then.
"Hello?"
No answer.
"Hellooo?! Somebody here?!"
Again, Loki received no answer. He waited a few moments; let a few minutes pass - but nothing.
"Why would Hunter send me to this place, if nobody is even here?" Loki said out loud - more to himself; frowning. Shrugging his shoulders, he just placed the TemPad on the counter in front of him and turned to leave - only to completely freeze in motion mere seconds later.
"Wait, wait! I'm here, I'm here! Hello! Don't leave!" A female voice suddenly echoed through the big room; followed by some loud noises. Loki froze in place. He knew that voice. It was all too familiar to him. He didn't hear it in a painfully long time - only in his head; and he thought he'd never hear it again... You. It was your voice.
Loki felt like he was struck by lightning and hit by a truck at the same time. His mind and emotions were running wild. Was this... reality? Could this be true? Or was it again just a cruel illusion? Or by the Norns, did he go mad? Was it all just in his head?
He didn't dare to turn around. Too afraid to be disappointed and heartbroken again, but also curious at the same time; his heart already screaming at him to run to you.
"Apologies! I didn't have a visitor in, uhhh, was it 200 or 300 years... Anyways, please don't go! How can I help you?" There was your voice again. But closer. And Loki couldn't help himself, but to turn around. His head fighting a battle against his heart, which was already lost the moment he heard you call out for the first time.
So, he turned around, slowly; facing the counter once again. His breath hitched in his throat; eyes widening and jaw slacking. Every muscle in his body tensed, but also lost control at the same time.
There you stood, behind the counter with that beautiful kind smile on your face. Your hair was bound together in a messy bun with a few loose strands framing your face. You wore some kind of brown, beige and green overall and looked like a... mechanic?
Tears started to pool in the god's eyes.
"Y-Y/N?" He halfway sobbed; voice hoarse. "A-Are you... Are you real? I-Is this... r-real?"
You frowned; scrunched your nose in the cutest way possible. "I, uh, I think you confuse me with somebody else. My name is Ouroborus, not Y/N - but you can call me O.B."
Loki's facial expression derailed. It felt like getting Hulk-smashed full force - until realisation hit him. She doesn't remember... Of course, she doesn't remember! She's been brainwashed, just like the others.
Loki shook his head frantically, before making quick steps towards you. "No... Your name isn't Ouroborus - and you'll remember me in a few seconds, my love."
You frowned even more and absolutely didn't understand why that strange TVA worker suddenly touched your arm gently. He was gazing into your eyes like you meant the world to him - and you didn't know why. What is wrong with him and why is he so... desperate and shaken?
Shaking your head softly, you pulled your arm away; out of his gentle grasp. "I'm sorry, but, um... Do... Do we know each other?"
Loki's heart fell and shattered into a million pieces at the impact. She can't remember me... Why can't she remember me?! Still!
"W-What?" He breathed out; the tears starting to fall once again. "It can't be..." You could practically feel the desperation radiating off of him. "I-I don't understand, I... W-Why is it not working?"
You watched the strange man pace up and down; ruffling his wild raven curls. What a weird thing to happen... There you were, living your peaceful life, repairing several things the TVA workers send you, with nobody actually visiting you for hundreds of years and suddenly - out of the blue, there was this man and did... that? You honestly couldn't quite believe what was happening in front of your eyes, and yet you felt a wave of... sympathy for him. Compassion.
You got ripped from your thoughts, as you felt two warm, strong hands softly gripping the sides of your upper arms. You blinked, only to realise that the man was leaning over the counter; oceanic blue eyes seemingly staring straight into your soul.
"Y/N, please... Please tell me you can remember...."
He was so close that you were able to actually smell him. Leather; something fresh and fruity you couldn’t point out and a mix of sultry musk and charred wood.
You blinked; softly shaking your head.
"I-I don't, I-"
Loki dropped his hands abruptly with a frustrated, sad sigh and stepped back. His eyebrows slanted, as he lifted his hands to gesture at himself; fingertips literally digging themselves into the clothed flesh of his chest. "It's me, Y/N..."
So slowly, he was frightening you a bit. His sheer maniac frustration. He seemed to be obsessed... with you?
"Sir, I'm really sorry. I-I don't know what happened to you, or the person you are looking for, but I'm asking you to leave now. I'll take a look at that TemPad and send it back as soon as I repaired it."
Loki's body slumped; all hope leaving his body.
Days, weeks, months, years ago, you were so far and unreachable. Now you were so close suddenly, and yet still out of his reach. It wasn't fair.
Loki stumbled backwards, overwhelmed by the whole situation and your request for him to leave.
"I-I'm so sorry... So sorry..." The god mumbled, before literally turning on his heels and running; trying to escape the nightmare he had fallen into. Or was it a dream?
He ran to the elevator, pressing the button quickly; repeatedly - almost as if something was hunting him down. As soon as the doors shut close and the machinery started to move him upwards, Loki pressed himself against the brown wall; breathing heavily. He was completely beside himself; on the verge of losing his mind.
Did that just really happen?
Not knowing what to do, he absent-mindedly stumbled down the hallways of the TVA, until he landed on the doorstep of the little house of his best friend...
His fist hit the wooden door; begging for entrance. "Mobius..." And again. "Mobius, please... Open the door." No minute later, the grey-haired man with the moustache answered the god's pleas and opened up the door.
"Loki?" Mobius asked with a frown; still dressed in the familiar TVA shirt and trousers. His eyes settled on Loki. He saw the tears in his eyes... How puffy and red they were. He could tell that Loki was devastated and... traumatised? It alarmed the agent. He had never seen his friend like that before.
"What happened?!"
A single tear was running down the god's cheek. "She can't remember, Mobius. I-I tried to give her all the memories back, b-but she can't remember... It's not working!"
Loki's words confused Mobius. He hadn't a single clue what this was all about.
"Who, Loki? Who? What are you talking about?"
Loki stared aimlessly into distance; swallowing hard.
"Y/N..."
This confused the agent even more. And he was highly concerned; given the fact that his best friend seemed... disorientated and not quite himself...
Gently grabbing Loki by his shoulder, he urged him to step inside his house. "Come in." The god let himself get 'dragged' inside wordlessly; without any resistance. Mobius guided him to the kitchen; stopping in front of the small dining table and pulling back a chair. "Sit down, take a breath and tell me exactly what happend, okay?" Loki nodded; did what Mobius told him to do and sat down.
Loki needed a moment to sort his thoughts and process what he had just experienced - which wasn't quite easy...
"B-15... She- I met her on my way home after our shift. She asked me if I could bring her TemPad down to the Repairs & Advancements department a-and-" "The Repairs & Advancements department?" "Y-Yes?" Mobius shook his head; visibly trying to think. "I honestly don't know if I was ever down there... Perhaps... Perhaps not... And you went there?" Loki nodded; feeling his emotions get stuck in his throat again. "Yes. I-I found her, Mobius. She's there. S-She-" "Who? Who did you find?" The agent interrupted his friend.
Another tear rolled down the god's cheek; his heart rate picking up at the thought of you. "Y/N... My Y/N..." Mobius' eyes widened. "What?! Y/N? She's there? Here? In the TVA?" Loki nodded; a black curl falling into his face. "Yes, but... She... She can't remember, Mobius. I tried to give her back all the memories, but... It didn't work."
The agent frowned. "What do you mean it didn't work? It worked with everybody here. With every variant. And now you're telling me that Y/N is... immune to it?"
"Yes."
Mobius went silent; answered nothing, and strained Loki's patience with it.
"What am I going to do now, Mobius? I-I can't pretend this never happened. I can't just ignore her! This is the woman I love! My heart, body and soul are yearning for her! I-" "I know, I know," the agent interrupted his friend. "Take a deep breath. We're going to find a way, okay?" Loki nodded; followed his order.
"What if..." Mobius started; thinking. "What if it has something to do with your feelings for her? Could this change something in your magic? I mean... You don't have a past with every other variant here and barely know them, but Y/N is different." Loki shrugged his shoulders; still a bit overwhelmed. "I-I don't know... It shouldn't. After all, it worked with you and Hunter, too - and you are my friends. We do have a past."
Mobius sighed. "Point taken." Loki was right.
"Well, in that case... I currently can't think of another solution than making her fall in love with you again. Perhaps she remembers then."
Loki blinked. "Make her fall in love with me again? You mean... Woo her, take her out on dates and court her properly?" "Exactly."
The god swallowed hard. This was not how he hoped this would go, but what other choice did he have right now?
Loki needed a few days, until he set foot in the Repairs & Advancements department once again. His brain, but especially his heart had a hard time catching up with what was happening... You were constantly on his mind. All day long - and at night, he saw you in his dreams. It was even worse than before.
Now, he stepped cautiously down the lonely hallway towards you again, taking deep breaths. He decided to best start with an apology - and that was exactly what he wanted to do now.
"H-Hello?" Loki entered the big room. "O...Ouroborus?" It felt so wrong to call you by that name and not your real one. "I, uh, I came here to apologise! I didn't mean to scare you. It's just... I lost somebody who was very important to me and you reminded me of her." You suddenly appeared from behind the counter, smiling softly. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry you lost her. Sounds very hard to lose someone important..." The god swallowed again; noticing how hard it was to keep his feelings at bay and under control.
"It truly is. Again... My apologies." "You're forgiven-, uh... What's your name, actually?" You asked with a bubbly giggle. "Loki." "Well, then... You're forgiven, Loki." His name leaving your lips caused a shiver to run down his spine; butterflies running wild inside his belly.
"Thank you."
From that day on, Loki tried to spent as much time with you as possible, in order to test out Mobius' theory and hoping to make you fall in love with him again. He tried to be his funny, charming, mischievous self - but after a while he had the feeling, that he was not making any progress. He took you on 'date' after 'date' after 'date', but that was it. You'd always talk about work, colleagues and the TVA in general. It was not very often, that the conversations became a lot more personal. Loki really tried everything possible to woo you; always stayed positive and didn't give up hope, but the feeling he had was anything but good - and he should be proven right...
Being the gentleman Loki was, he always accompanied you home after each 'date' and made sure that you arrived safely - just like today.
You stopped in front of the small door, fishing out the keys of your handbag and turned the lock, before turning to face the man again. "Thank you, Loki," you said; giving him a soft smile; which he returned. "No need to thank me, dar- O.B. It's a privilege to accompany your date home." Your smile faltered a bit; almost impossible to see, but Loki caught it anyway. Did I say something wrong?
"Good night, Loki. Thanks for paying dinner." He gave you a court nod, "As I said... Privilege." and paused for a moment.
"Would you... Would you like to come over sometime next week? After work? I-I could cook something for us and we could enjoy the rest of the evening with a glass of wine on the sofa." Loki had never invited you to stay at his - until now, and therefore was he slightly nervous. He couldn't help himself. His heart forced him to make the next move; suffering already way too long. The vital organ felt like a decaying rose since you had re-entered the god's life...
Flowers need water to live - and your love was the water Loki's heart needed.
You swallowed hard; body tensing up visibly. Something shifted within your demeanour. He noticed.
"Loki, that... That's really very kind of you and a sweet idea..." Your words send his heart and hope skyrocketing. Could this be finally the moment I waited such a long time for? Like a fool blinded by love, he didn't notice the hesitant undertone in your voice.
"But, uhm... I'm really sorry to say that, 'cause you've been very generous and kind to me... Uhm... I know you try to impress me. And maybe you feel more than just friendship, but... I don't feel quite the same." You took a deep breath; your words felt like a painfully tight grip around the god's heart.
"You are very nice, but absolutely not the type of men I'm into. I, uh, don't want something romantically with you. Sorry..."
And his heart crumbled to dust underneath your hand; all hope came crashing down. Loki wanted to cry and scream from the agonising pain within his chest - but he didn't. Instead, he just nodded wordlessly. "I-I understand. Thank you for your honesty. Good night," he more or less rushed out, before he turned to quickly walk away, since the tears started to already form in his eyes. He had absolute no intention to break down right in front of you. He'd rather do that at home - and he did.
That night and the few nights which followed, the god more or less cried himself to sleep. The small spark of hope he had carried within his body was gone. Extinguished. Non-existent. Nothing was able to cheer him up. Neither his best friend, nor B-15 - who was shocked to learn that she had send her friend unknowingly back to the love of his life. The Norns knew they tried, but... In vain. Just like Hunter and Mobius had no solution for the memory problem...
Loki stopped visiting you. Took his distance; knowing very well that he couldn't just treat you like a friend.
Days turned into weeks, but it was the same like before... Loki couldn't forget you and especially his feelings for you. You seemed to follow him everywhere. He often dreamed of you. Almost every night. A thin line between torture and bliss - until one dream changed everything...
A young Loki came to stand beside his mother; the cape of his ceremonial armour gently billowing in the wind. "I can sense your happiness, son," Frigga started; turning her head to look at him. "I take it your attempts to woo Lady Y/N have been successful?"
Loki blushed in the deepest shades of red at his mother's words. "M-Mother, I, um, w-we..." The young prince stumbled over his own words, trying to explain himself, but the Queen only shook her head softly.
"No chance in denying, Loki. I saw the kiss you shared. And besides, I'm neither blind nor stupid. It was only a matter of time. But finally, we got that kiss." She winked - and Loki literally jumped up in his bed; wide awake. The dream triggered another memory, which had been locked deep down somewhere in his brain. His eyes widened.
A kiss...
Perhaps that was what it would take... A kiss.
Loki had remembered a bedtime story which his mother would tell him and Thor, back when they were small kids. Toddlers, perhaps even. The story was called 'Sleeping Beauty' - a Midgardian fairytale, in which a beautiful princess falls into a deep slumber due to an evil magic spell, and the only way to save her is, of course, true love. So, the handsome prince kisses her - and she awakes.
Isn't the TVA exactly the same somehow?
As stupid as it might sounded, Loki had to try. He'd try anything to get you back.
He jumped out of his bed; quickly slipping into his TVA clothes. A look on the watch told him, that he'd have to get up for work soon anyway, so he had some time to get to you, before his shift started. With a snap of his fingers was he ready to leave his small home; teeth brushed, raven locks tamed and body clean. Usually, he didn't use his seidr for this, but today...
Loki was almost running down the seemingly endless corridors of the TVA, before he reached the elevator and only a few moments later the Repairs & Advancements department. Confident and trusting in the brainwave he just had, the god strutted down the last hallway, separating him from you.
Entering the big, familiar room, he looked around; eyes searching you - and to his luck, he indeed found you. You were standing on the left, in front of the huge shelf, inspecting some... device. Not beating around the bush - and not losing any more precious time, he quickly stepped over to you.
You were deep in thoughts; focused on your work and task ahead. Once the approaching steps had gotten from your ears to your brain, it was already too late.
Being suddenly yanked into someone's arms caused a yelp to escape your lips. "Loki?!" You squeaked with eyes wide open; caught like a deer in the headlights. "What by the Timekeepers are you doing?! Let go of me! I told you I am not-"
The god had heard enough. Before you were able to protest more, he leaned in and captured your lips with his; pouring all his love for you in the kiss.
While Loki relished in the feeling of your soft lips after such a long time, you were shocked. Appalled. You told him he wasn't your type and yet he makes a move on you? How rude... You wanted to push him away and ask him what the fuck he thought he is doing.
You had already lifted your hands; ready to shove him away, when it happened... Your brain felt suddenly like it was about to explode; a dam on the verge of breaking - and it did. Memories exploded within your head like fireworks... Asgard. Your childhood. Your parents. The first time you saw Loki. The first words you exchanged. The beautiful friendship you had shared with him, which melted into your first kiss. You remembered. How he had made love to you for the first time. Every dance and laugh you shared. His proposal. Everything.
You felt relieved; free. It was like the fog in your brain had finally lifted and you could think clear again. You could finally see him.
Your heart threatened to burst from the sudden rush of happiness and love you felt. You had lost Loki, landed in the TVA, were forced to forget him - and suddenly... He was right in front of you.
But then you felt how Loki wanted to break the kiss again - something you couldn't allow him to do. Before he could part his lips from yours, you pulled him quickly back in; literally throwing yourself into his arms. Unbeknownst to you, flew the god's eyes open and widened to the size of plates at your movement. Surprised and shocked, he gave into the kiss; just enjoying the moment - until he had to take a breath.
Deep Y/E/C eyes gazed into his; a teary smile on your face. You slowly lifted your hands to cup his chiselled cheeks; feeling his skin underneath your fingertips after such a long time, sending shivers down your spine. "Loki..."
His name leaving your lips caused his heart to skip a beat, as realisation hit him.
"You remember me?"
You nodded quickly; running a hand gently through his raven curls.
Tears spilled from Loki's eyes like waterfalls as he lifted you up into his arms; spinning you in a circle. You yelped up in surprise, but giggled almost deliriously; wrapping your arms around his neck.
"At last, I finally have you back, my love. I'm so sorry it took me so long to find a way back to you, I should have-" You shook your head; shushing him. "Shhh, my prince. Not now. Don't blame yourself." You pressed your forehead against his. "We have a lot to catch up to, but... Let us enjoy this moment, please. Just... hold me. Let me feel your touch. I've been starving for way too long."
How could Loki possibly refuse your request? He smiled through his tears and wrapped you up securely in his arms; kissing you slow and tender.
"Hey, C-4, have you seen Lo- Oh my goodness. Am I dreaming?" Both, Mobius and the other TVA worker were staring at the end of the hallway. C-4 in confusion and Mobius in shock. "I, uh, don't know? What do you mean exactly, Mobi-" Clapping his fellow co-worker absent-mindedly on the shoulder; eyes fixated on what was happening in front of him, he moved on. "Thanks, C-4. I got this."
You and Loki walked towards Mobius; smiling brightly. Loki had slipped his fingers through yours, holding your hand tightly. Stopping halfway to wait for for his friend, the god couldn't help but to pull you into a gentle kiss, causing you to giggle.
"Loki?" Mobius asked; still not quite believing what his eyes saw. "Am I dreaming this? Is that..." He gestures towards you. Loki chuckled, nodding. "Y/N, yes... My Y/N." His friend smiled. "So... She can finally remember? She has her memories back?" He nodded again; feeling how a lump formed in his throat once more. Happy tears were ready to fall.
"Yes... Finally, she remembers." Loki turned to you. "Darling, this is Mobius. He's my best friend." You smiled at the man opposite of you, stretching out your hand. "Very happy to meet you, Mobius. I'd introduce myself, but I guess my man here did that already, so..." Mobius returned the smile; shaking your hand. "In all those years, the one thing he loved to talk about, was you. It was really sweet." You giggled at his words; seeing Loki blush.
"How did you get her to remember? I thought you couldn't?" Mobius asked, after swallowing the piece of cake. He had invited you to eat a slice of cake together, catching up a bit.
Both, you and Loki smiled lovingly at each other; hands still intertwined. You just couldn't leave your hands off of him - just like Loki couldn't leave his hands off of you. "Well..." You started. "He's my prince. And just like a prince, he kissed me awake." "Because I am your true love." "Just like I am yours."
Mobius' eyes widened. "What? Like in that fairytale? What was its name again?" "Sleeping Beauty," said Loki with a smile. "Yes! That's the one." His friend nodded.
"Exactly like that, Mobius. I kissed her awake - and now she's mine again."
#loki x reader#loki laufeyson#loki x female reader#loki x you#loki#tom hiddleston x reader#loki fanfiction#loki fluff#loki x y/n#loki laufeyson x reader
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Jason Todd Fics - September 2023
Fics I recommend with a focus on or POV of Jason Todd. Masterpost can be found here.
Key: Has a ship or romantic plot, unfinished, multi-chapter, one-shot
NOTE: some of these do require an AO3 Account to read.
Whisper Closely in My Ear by Kangarou
The words went in one ear, rattled around like bees, before ramming out the other. The doctor was sitting painfully close, only two feet away. The tone of voice implied he was talking louder, not quite a yell but something nearly there; it sounded like a whisper to Jason. So quiet, with every third word unintelligible, except for that first phrase: "Mr Wayne, I'm afraid you're profoundly deaf."
---
Jason is profoundly deaf. He learns to cope with it.
An AU in which Jason is deaf. This is one of my favorite Jason fics. I often find myself coming back to it. Its a great character study, introspective and has that delicious kind of hurt you just want to sit with for a while, with a helping dollop of comfort.
Children Will Listen by Parker Avenue
Jason Todd is good at extortion. He's what the adults call a snoop - nobody paid attention to the little kid with the big ears. Without even realizing, adults would hand him the keys to getting what he needed. Jason knew how to collect information, because adults found information valuable. And it was. It was free, easy to get, and easy to carry, so long as he kept his head clear and his facts straight. Jason had information Batman could use. He knew it. He had thought it over all day, sitting on that moldy couch, eating stale saltines. Batman would definitely be interested in the information Jason had.
Batman had become scary again, like the old stories Jason used to hear the goons in the area tell. Breaking bones, just barely keeping people alive. Batman didn’t kill, no, but sometimes? Sometimes living was worse, maybe.
Jason stayed crouched behind that dumpster, silent, because he simply couldn’t decide if Batman was far gone enough to make a kid wish he was dead.
(Jason Todd knows how to get what he wants, and Batman tries to lure him to safety.)
Okay I will admit, my biggest weakness is fics about street kid Jason. Slow adoption got me good. Anyways, this one isn't finished but I love the way the pacing takes its time. Co-parents Bruce and Selina is never a con either!
Stargazer by LemonadeGarden
Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died.
Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore.
This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.
I'm sure everyone and their mother has rec'd this fic, but I'm doing it anyways because I love it deeply. If you haven't read it, this is your sign!
Glow in the Dark Stars by essspressso (stylesmakethefight)
“I’m being serious, asshat,” Jason hisses, swatting his hands away from his face. “You have to tell me what year it is.”
Nightwing crosses his arms a little petulantly. “It’s 2017. Happy?”
Jason freezes, breath catching in his throat. 2017. Five years ago. He was…he was fifteen. “Shit,” he murmurs. He’s going to eviscerate Tim.
Or: Red Hood Jason and 15-year-old Jason swap timelines, landing one week before 15-year-old Jason is supposed to die.
Time travel trope + Jason Todd's tragic ass life = amazing fics. Feelings, prepare to be felt! LOTS of Angst. You might even shed a tear. Wonderful fic!
Too Much Fucking Salt by Pez_The_Platypus
A rural housewife instinctively understood the law of quantity into quality. Add a pinch of salt to a soup and it tasted better; add one pinch too many and you ruined the batch. Jason had been in limbo for a year and a half, trusting things would get better even though everything just seemed to be getting worse. It was something small that set him off, but really, it was an accumulation of a lot of things that led to this. He was going to kill the Joker.
A one shot, but a LONG one. This one is very sad, heavy, and bittersweet. Its not Bruce or Dick "bashing", it provides a pretty well rounded and human description of them, which is to say they are not angels. Still, if you love pondering the tragedy of Jason Todd and themes of coping with trauma and the inherent grating sensation of trying to heal, this is a great fic for you.
YOU MUST KNOW LIFE TO KNOW DECAY by orpheusaki
Bruce starts, eyes glaring down at the city and unwilling to look anywhere else, especially in Jason's direction, "You always… hated the rain."
Jason's breath gets caught in his throat.
(For as long as Jason can remember, it's always been raining.)
Jason angst and character study rooted in comic-accuracy. Great short read!
This Kind of Weather by r_astra
Jason’s at school when his mom dies, and that’s the only reason any of it happens. If he’d been home, if he’d been with her, he would’ve been in the wind before anyone else even knew. Even if they looked, no one ever would’ve found him. He’d have taken to the sewers if that’s what it took, man-eating crocodile guy and all.
Yes, another Jason Todd adoption fic, one in which he does not steal the tires. I have a type and I'm limiting myself to only 2 of the many I love. This one does not have much of a focus at all on the Bat-side of things, just a story of Jason finding a home, much older than in the comics.
A Straight Blade by Sparkypants
"What happened to your face?" Bruce asks, reaching his hand for Jason's jaw. "You're bleeding."
Jason bristles, cheeks turning pink. "I cut myself shaving." He says, and wipes at the cut with the cuff of his hoody.
Damian makes a clicking noise with his tongue, "I'm amazed you haven't taken your own head off." He snarks.
Jason shoves his chair away from the table, temper flaring. "Well it's not like anyone ever taught me, is it." He hisses.
He's five years late, but Bruce finally teaches Jason how to shave.
Quick one-shot with feelings. Great little read I often find myself revisiting.
Growing Like a Breeze by WhaleofaTime
April 27th isn't anyone's favorite date, but it's somehow worse than usual today when Bruce gets his car stolen.
It's nice of Red Hood to come to his rescue.
Nicer even that Jason keeps him company afterwards.
One of those fics that explains everything about why Jason and Bruce's dynamic and relationship is so magnetic to read about. They both suck at feelings and yet make me feel SO MUCH.
#Jason Todd#DC#batfam#dc comics#fic recs#I have a lot more but i think this is enough for one post#Sarah's Bullshit#this is way more fun than all the work I'm meant to be doing right now.#please enjoy! tell me if theres one you really like bc i am always down to yell about fics!
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HEARTLESS 💔 - PART NINETEEN
Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader
Summary: Jack needs to go on a mission and leave you and Wyatt at home; it hurts him but he needs to get the job done, at the same time you and your son prepare yourselves for Halloween 🎃
(This is the nineteenth chapter of my HEARTLESS 💔 series)
• PART ONE TO EIGHTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST
Warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst and overall no other warnings to avoid spoilers so you are on your own here besties
A/N: I missed our cowboy so much, my besties! As this is almost the end of our lovely story, we need to let him and sugar go with their happy ending, but of course there's still some Halloween treats going on. Also, kind of obvious but this chapter takes place on Halloween
5.8k words
If someone asked Wyatt exactly what a marriage was, he wouldn't be able to explain it properly, he didn't understand much about grown up stuff, it was boring and his little life of playing with animals and with his toys and eating his mommy's delicious food while being a cowboy with his daddy was way more important to him; however, Wyatt had watched enough cartoons to know that mommies and daddies lived together with their babies and his dad had told him that if his mommy accepted his surprise, then that would happen to them and he was excited about that.
Wyatt was so willing to have you and his daddy together for good, he took all the instructions Jack had given him seriously, because he wanted everything to be perfect for you, he wanted his mommy to be happy with his daddy after all, and for that, he would help Jack do whatever he needed, but luckily, his daddy's first instruction, apart from being completely silent about the beautiful, glowing ring, Wyatt was asked to act as normal as possible, so he could surprise you when the moment was right, and so was it that the next few days went by completely normal, you and Jack were going strong in your recent relationship as Wyatt was enjoying farm life more and more, and the very few times you actually had to go back to the city in order to pick up more clothes, check on your apartment and make sure everything was in order, your son was each time sadder and sadder to leave the ranch. He had everything he ever loved in there, a life with his mommy and daddy, animals, Silver Pony and Silver Star and the mere prospect of having to go back to the city scared him to death. He loved his home and his family and he had made up his little mind he wouldn't leave without a fight. Luckily to him, you also had no plans of returning to the city, as the weeks passed and your relationship progressed with Jack, you didn't see the need of returning permanently to the city. Of course it was still necessary to do so, eventually for some doctor appointments, shopping for new clothes and stuff like that, but if you were going to be honest with yourself, you also didn't see you and your son going back to a small, cramped apartment once you got used to that gorgeous ranch. It was beautiful, spacious and it had everything you needed; not to mention you had re-encountered love once more. Saying you weren't madly in love with that stupid cowboy would be a huge lie, it's not that you had ever fallen out of love with him, you hadn't, even during the worst time of your life and how cruel he'd been to you; you should have done it though, however, you simply couldn't. Even during the hard moments in which you burned with anger at the mere thought of what he'd done to you, that intense love was just there, underneath all. You had both dreamed and dreaded the moment Whiskey would walk back into your life not knowing what to do, and even if it was hard at first, then you were thankful it happened in a way you are able to see Jack really meant his feelings and you both couldn't fight the passion any longer, even if you still felt a paralyzing fear of being hurt, you decided to trust your man in your own terms: he had a chance, the only and final one, and in case he did anything to ruin that, then you and him would be history.
Luckily to you and Wyatt, Jack was nothing but the best and most caring boyfriend and father; all he wanted was to make sure you and your son were happy and well. He would spoil the two of you and do anything in his power so you would be next to him. He loved you more than anything in the world and his son was the most precious little thing he could ever ask for. He was taking care of his family like he should have from the beginning and there was no stopping him this time. That's why he went over his plan with Wyatt for several days, talking to his son and using his help to form an alliance in order to make you the best proposal he could think of. Yeah, you two had been engaged before your son's birth, but you didn't want it to be like that, especially because you both had come to an agreement of having a new beginning. So Jack kept your former engagement in a box and locked it in his closet, it was a pretty ring, but he still remembers coming home still feeling hot headed after the argument you two had over the revelation of your pregnancy. One of, if not the biggest regret he'd ever had in his life was definitely his reaction towards the news that changed both of your lives. He didn't know what to say or what to do after you broke the news to him, it was in fact, as if he had stopped processing facts for a while. However, when he finally realized what had happened it was as if something had broken inside of him, he felt as if he had lost the ground under his feet and above all, he felt betrayed, as if it didn't matter to you the family he had previously lost. Of course Jack knew that wasn't it, he knew he was severely mentally ill at the time and that was a reflection of it, and yet, he also knew he should have been a decent man for you and your son. But instead, he'd told you unspeakable things, he'd made you the vilest proposition someone could ever think of - for you to choose between him and your son - and he left you crying, on your own and went to a bar to get wasted.
When he came back home, all he found was the silence and emptiness he felt surrounded him and also around him. Your clothes, belongings, accessories, everything that made that home a little more yours than just his were gone, and the only proof you'd ever been there was the engagement ring you left on his pillow. You'd made your choice; you'd chosen your son.
So that was the whole reason why he thought it would be a nice idea to get you a new engagement ring, he had a feeling the previous ring carried a lot more negative meaning than the two of you would like to admit. Besides, he got to choose a brand new jewelry for you, not sparing any money - one of the greatest advantages of being a high profile Statesman employee after all. After gathering his son's help, Jack waited for the perfect moment, he was anxious and nervous, as he hadn't really planned on a specific scenario, instead, he tried to find a suitable time and place, feel in his heart when it should happen, preferably when Wyatt was also around, as your son showed great interest in it, being a supporter of the idea since the beginning.
It happened in the late afternoon, just a regular day of the week that ended up becoming one of the most special days of your life. You and your family had gone for a horse ride, Jack deciding - with your agreement - that Wyatt was already old enough to learn how to ride a horse, you three stopped by at the stables but the little boy went with Silver Star, which didn't stop her from trying to running and that lead your cowboy to use his lasso to stop her and your son from going too fast. On one hand you were a little scared, your heart racing from seeing your baby boy looking so big and independent from his parents, but also a huge wave of pride to see him becoming a cowboy just like his dad.
You'd made a basket with treats and sandwiches in order to have a picnic and the moment you three settled by the willow trees - one of your favorite places at his ranch - and Jack realized the sun was setting, creating the perfect atmosphere of laughter, happiness and a beautiful landscape. He winked and nodded at his son showing him it was time to propose to his mommy. Wyatt clapped his small hands in excitement and watched intently while the cowboy got on his knees in front of you, taking your hand and professing you love words. You knew what was happening, but at the same time it felt like you didn't, as your heart was racing so much and the tears simply couldn't stop clouding your vision. You held your breath the moment he showed you a brand new engagement ring, it was one of the most beautiful jewelry you'd ever seen in your life and there was no way you could ever say no to that.
The moment Jack finally asked you the question, proposing to you and you said yes, it was as if time had stopped and there were only the three of you in the world, your happy little family, you, your son and your future husband. You had said yes and that was how you were officially engaged to Jack Daniels once more.
•••
"Sugar, listen to me…" Jack placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer "it will be a short mission, in a few days I'll be back home, I ain't even looking towards any women, you know they don't compare to you. I've never been unfaithful to you and I ain't starting now sugar…"
You could see the honesty and pleading in his eyes and even if it was recomforting to be assured like that by him and acknowledge how dedicated he was to you, however, you would be over the moon if your concern was reduced to only a bunch of whores throwing themselves onto your man.
"Cowboy, it's not it, I mean, I know you're faithful and I'm also faithful to you, and I will always be… but I'm scared and worried. You remember what happened on your last mission… I don't want that to happen again, I mean, I don't even want to think of the slightest possibility of it, please. You have a family now, me and Wyatt, you are leaving us home, but we want you here with us" You used just about the same pleading eyes in order to convince your cowboy to stay, you couldn't place your finger exactly on why you were so anxious and needy, but if it were up to you, you'd use his lasso to keep him tied down to your bed, not letting him leave at all. You felt so vulnerable without even understanding why, but your biggest desire was to be held by him and assured he wouldn't move an inch away from you. He placed his hands on the side of your face and stroked your cheek so gently, affection and love pouring from him as he saw you looking so helpless at that moment. He leaned in for a kiss and smiled
"It will be fine, sugar. It will be just a few days as I said, I'll be alright, keep my ass safe… you know it's an emergency, that's why Champ called me, I will call you every day, and I'll make sure to keep you updated, I have a gorgeous family to come home to, and I ain't never let that go, now please, help me out because I can't have two sad puppy faces staring at me like that without breaking my heart" he pointed at Wyatt who pouted and looked at his daddy's bag. You felt emotional and didn't know exactly what to do, but you nodded, as your future husband needed help. He was the best damn agent that place had ever seen, of course he would come back home safely.
You wiped your tears and lowered yourself, picking up your son and snuggling him.
"Don't be upset my angel, daddy will be gone just for a little while, right daddy?!" You looked at him, who picked up the cue and nodded
"Yeah buddy, daddy will be away for a couple of days to work, but I need you to be a strong cowboy and take care of mama, can you do that for me?" Wyatt nodded reluctantly, his red eyes almost making the cowboy turn around and give up the idea of going to work. He couldn't though, otherwise he would've done it once for all. The cowboy couldn't resist the urge of wrapping his arms around his son, pulling him for a tight embrace.
"You know daddy loves you and mama more than anything in the world, right? It will be for a short while, and soon enough I'll be here for you, remember you wanted to go out trick or treating? Daddy promises he will be back before Halloween, okay?"
After Wyatt nodded, sighing but snuggling him and you also pulled him into a real needy and long hug, leaving home to go on a mission was definitely the hardest task that cowboy had done; he questioned himself if he was doing the right thing, after all, when he got suspended from Statesman, all he wanted to do was get back on the field and show them all he was still a top notch agent, the best they'd ever had and that he could handle any kind of situation, but once he saw how his family felt anxious and upset about him leaving, he felt tortured to go to work, he didn't have to, he had plenty of money and wouldn't need to work violent and dangerous job now he was settling down once more. Still, he felt like he owed that to Champ, even if he disappointed the older man with his bad conduct during the last mission, they still shared a very special bond - Jack was like the son Champ never had, and the younger cowboy envisioned the older one as a fatherly figure. No wonder why Jack ended up only in therapy after nearly sabotaging such a serious mission instead of going to prison. He hopped on his Bronco and drove to the headquarters, trying not to think much of his broken heart to be gone.
The first night was rough without your cowboy, even if Whiskey had called, and then he had video chatted and talked to both you and Wyatt, it was still so sad and lonely without him. Worse than the years you spent alone with your son, the absence of Jack now was depressing, after staying with him, living almost an endless honeymoon it was upsetting to say the least. That night, your sweet Wyatt snuggled closer to you in bed and you only fell asleep with your face buried deep into his curls.
What really changed your routine happened the morning after Jack left; it was as if you knew something was up but you couldn't actually get a hold of it, instead, you simply woke up with the worst wave of nausea you'd ever witnessed. It was odd, you hadn't had dinner the night before nor eaten anything suspicious, so the first thought that crossed your mind was immediately dismissed. You couldn't and you wouldn't.
As much as you tried to push aside those thoughts, they insisted on coming back whenever you got distracted, you tried your best keeping your mind busy, focusing on the son you actually had. So you and Wyatt spent most days together, playing, cooking and baking, even if the slightest food smell made you feel sick to your stomach and riding and petting the horses. You knew Halloween was approaching and Wyatt was excited to go trick-or-treating, as it was going to be the first ever Halloween his daddy would be a part of it and even if you two had actually to drive downtown to do it, as the ranches were too apart from each other, you still promised him you would carve the pumpkins with your son, and you sort of kept your promise, if it weren't for the fact the moment you began cutting open the pumpkins, the smell was enough to make your stomach twist and you had to rush to the bathroom, however, this time wasn't possible to hide it from your son, which caused Wyatt to run to you worriedly
"Are you okay mommy?" He asked you while placing his small hands on your back "can we call daddy please?"
You shook your head and smiled weakly at him
"No baby, mommy is fine, I just got a tummy bug, that's all" you assured him, even though you knew there was more to it and you simply just didn't want to admit it. You asked your son for a bottle of water from the fridge as you grabbed your phone and checked the app you used to keep your cycle in check and even if you knew the answer, a part of you was still so stubborn you couldn't bring yourself to believe it. Taking turns between checking your app and the calendar, you sighed and closed your eyes, letting yourself digest the information that your period was late.
There was a huge chance you were pregnant again.
You couldn't sleep at all that night, tossing and turning in bed and playing the most different scenarios in your head. Jack would be happy, wouldn't he? He was the one who was insisting on having a baby, but you also terrified yourself at the possibility that maybe, he was just trying to convince you to marry him. What if he changed his mind and panicked? What if he never came back from the mission? No, you shook your head and squinted your eyes, trying to physically keep your anxiety away from you. The very little you managed to doze off were filled with dreams about you and the cowboy getting into a huge fight and breaking up. That was something that couldn't happen, you knew your heart wouldn't take that kind of disappointment for a second time, and if he even threatened to walk away from you both, well, from you three, you would never see him again.
But a part of you desperately begged you to calm down and relax a little, maybe you weren't even pregnant, you couldn't say for sure without a test, and all of that could've been just a mind trick after panicking so much at the idea your body actually began reproducing that kind of symptoms. It wasn't the first time your period was that late and it could have been a stomach bug, after all you hadn't been eating well since your cowboy left you a week ago. There was still at least another one to come and the idea of actually buying yourself a pregnancy test was horrifying. However, since Wyatt started asking you to dress up as a zombie cowboy, you knew you would have to buy him some things such as fake bruises stickers and a costume hat, as you wouldn't risk ruining the beautiful and expensive stetson Jack had gifted your son. It would be the perfect excuse, you would do some Halloween shopping and also get yourself a test, everything would be just fine, you assured yourself, after all, you still had a small hope in your heart things were nothing but your mind playing tricks on you.
The next morning, while Wyatt went to get dressed as fast as he could so you both could go out and get him his costume, you watched yourself in the mirror. We're your breasts larger? You didn't know if they actually were or if you were under the wrong impression, if Whiskey had been there, he would be able to tell it immediately. In fact, he would probably be the first one to even notice it. Then you stared at your stomach, was it a little swollen or you were just getting paranoid? As you were lost in your thoughts with your blouse lifted you felt tiny hands on your tummy and looked down at Wyatt's smiley face staring at you
"You look so pretty, mommy!" He said happily and smiled big at you, his small arms wrapping around your waist as he rested his head against your womb and sighed deeply. He was an affectionate boy, but he had never done that before… Why start it now?
You stroked his curls very gently and lowered yourself to his level
"Do you think mommy looks different?" You asked
"No, just pretty" he shrugged happily and ran outside the bedroom.
•••
Another week had passed without any confirmation nor denial; you simply didn't have the guts to take that test and see for yourself if you were indeed pregnant or not. You talked to your cowboy every single night, and even if he thought it was odd you weren't up for some web sex with him, he didn't push it, as you simply lied by saying you were on your period. Whiskey could tell something was off, but he assumed it was just a combination of his absence and your tiredness. Besides, Wyatt was staying up later each night, so he could talk to his daddy which caused you both to behave yourselves.
You had taken Wyatt out for shopping, he'd bought as many Halloween things he wanted, you also bought some extra candy just in case some trick or treaters passes by the ranch, which you thought it wouldn't happen, but you didn't want to risk not having any and while your son was too distracted by the shampoo aisle - you'd asked him to pick the best shampoo to wash his hair - you grabbed your pregnancy tests. Tests. Because you wouldn't trust just one, so you decided three would be a decent enough number. It broke your heart to see how sweet Wyatt was the moment he spotted a mother shopping with her baby girl. The moment he saw her, he giggled and rushed to them "look mommy! A cute baby!!!" Wyatt had squealed just as you hid the tests under a bunch of other stuff you followed him, smiling at how sensitive your son was. You nodded and agreed with him, playing with his soft curls.
Not only that, after the episode, Wyatt spent the whole week asking you about babies. If you thought they were cute, if he was a nice baby, if you and his daddy had a baby would it be a normal baby or would it be a cowboy baby. In other circumstances, you would be very amused by his questions, but given what was going on, you felt extremely anxious about it. Perhaps that was the whole reason why you kept postponing the test for days; however, you knew Jack was about to come home any day now, and you needed to have an answer, it wasn't fair to you or him, not to mention he would see right through you and figure something was definitely wrong. So the day before Halloween, you made your son dinner - chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes and peas, his favorite - and played with him until he fell asleep. When you were sure you wouldn't be interrupted, you finally took courage, grabbed your tests and followed the instructions.
And the wait began.
And it felt like forever, until the whole three of them showed the lines indicating that indeed, you were pregnant.
You didn't react for several minutes, perhaps it was the shock, even if you deep down inside already knew you were expecting a baby. You were going to be a mom, again. You got pregnant by the man who abandoned you and your son once, would it go wrong this time? You didn't want to believe it, at the same time you were flooding with all kinds of anxious thoughts and feelings. You wish you could just curl up on the couch and fall asleep until you could come up with a solution to that situation, but Wyatt's fast steps drew your attention "mommy!!! Help me get dressed!!!" He giggled as he barged in his cowboy outfit, holding his fake blood and wound stickers. His excitement was so adorable, it made your heart warm at how cute he really was. You wrapped your arms tight around him, pulling him closer and snuggling your son. He was a little confused at your affection but giggled "help me mommy!" He asked as he couldn't wait to go out.
The moment you saw your son, your heart warmed and filled with love, he was so precious, the most important little thing in your life, and you'd just learned you were growing a new life inside of your womb, his baby brother or sister, you didn't know, but at that moment, only Wyatt mattered, the way he looked so excited, his little chocolate eyes glimmering you decided you would stop feeling sorry for yourself, you were a grown woman, you had been through a pregnancy once and you could do it a second time. No matter if your cowboy was going to step up or not, though you hoped really hard he would, you would focus on your son, making sure he had the Halloween he had waited for all along.
•••
Wyatt jumped excitedly, although he still held your hand and smiled big
"I got a lot of candies, mommy!!!" He giggled as you carried his bag which was indeed way heavier than what it could be considered healthy. His costume was adorable, a mix of zombie and a cowboy as he fit in perfectly with the other kids. You had driven downtown where all the people gathered and enjoyed the festive day, seeing how your life would be like for the following years. You knew Jack had no intentions of moving away, definitely not going to the city, which you also agreed. You liked that atmosphere, the small town kind of warmth, it was nice and you also remembered you would need to start looking for a new school for Wyatt. And not only that, you would need to care for a whole new baby, and Jack wasn't even there to calm you down. And that was when it hit you: he hadn't called you that night, even worse, he had promised you and Wyatt he would spend Halloween with you both, as a family, but instead, he had established no communication and a wave of anxiety and worry rushed through you as you began picturing the worst possible scenarios. The story of Jack nearly dying his last mission, the cruelty of the death he nearly faced still haunted you and you would be lying if you didn't wake up quite a few times at night after having a nightmare about losing your cowboy. You couldn't give into those horrible thoughts, not at that moment, your son was happy, you were spending a very nice time together and if it weren't for the fact a lasso wrapped around you and Wyatt, making you both stop dead in your tracks…
And a lasso?!
You and Wyatt exchanged confused looks before turning around and facing Whiskey's shit eating grin as he was in his fight position, lasso in hands and looking every bit of devilish handsome he always did. Damn, stupid pregnancy hormones.
"DADDY!!!" Wyatt's deafening squeal was enough for Whiskey to loosen the rope around you both as he opened his arms to receive his son's sweet hug. They had missed each other so much, he couldn't even believe he had actually had the guts to leave his family to go on a mission, but the important thing was that he was back, in time to spend one of his son's favorite holidays. He wrapped his arms around Wyatt and snuggled him, kissing the top of his head and ruffing his hair gently, loving his costume, and chuckling at the enthusiasm in which your son told his daddy every single little thing that happened the days he spent away. And then it was your turn to rush to your cowboy, being too emotional after everything that happened, including the mini internal meltdown you had at the mere fear he had died during the mission, you rushed to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. Your cowboy was finally back home, to you and your family, and you couldn't be happier as you needed him more than anything now.
Jack was so happy at the warm welcome he received from his family and he knew that was exactly what he wanted all along; he wanted to have a good reason to come back home to, and now he had it. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you for another kiss, he saw how beautiful you were, you were almost glowing and there was something different about you even if he couldn't actually tell what it was.
"I missed you sugar" he whispered against your lips and looked down as Wyatt kept tugging at his sleeve, wanting to spend some time with his daddy, after missing him desperately
"Come on daddy, let's trick or treat!" Wyatt begged with his cute puppy face, his energy restored to the fullest now he was surprised by the wave of excitement at the fact his father was there, for him and for his mommy.
•••
Jack had returned from his mission just about an hour before meeting his family, he thought of calling you and let you both know, but instead, he decided to surprise you and it couldn't have been better. He knew you two would be downtown, so it wasn't difficult to spot his family, but as much as he wanted to come closer, you were both walking fast at a reasonable distance from him, so the best idea that came to his mind was simply using his lasso on the two of you, which was both funny and cute, since you never saw it coming, but to him, the best part was when the two of you rushed to him, as if he'd been gone for months instead of just two weeks. It made his heart clench with love and affection, he was finally home, with his family and he cherished that like no other. The way they spent the rest of the evening walking around, getting Wyatt more candy, then they stopped by a small cute place to have some corn dogs and then the three of you headed home.
Wyatt only fell asleep after hours home, he had eaten some of his candy, while you figured what you'd do with the rest of it since it was way too much. Your cowboy had barely taken off his jacket and was already all over Wyatt, leaving you some time for yourself, in which you showered, and got ready for bed. You still didn't know how or when you'd break the news to him, but you felt your stomach twisting the moment you saw him walking towards you with a bottle of wine. You couldn't drink that, what were you supposed to say? Luckily to you, Jack hadn't insisted and even if he was a little suspicious, he didn't question you why you'd said you had a headache, though he seemed a little disappointed to miss you the opportunity to have a drink with you, he still kissed your lips gently and went to shower, needing the relaxation and the hot water pouring over his sore shoulders. He was so happy to be home, all he wanted was to finish his warm shower and get under the covers with his sugar, so he could relax and enjoy a moment of peace. Once he finished showering, he decided to shave, wanting his face to be smooth as possible in case his sugar decided to ride her cowboy. It didn't take him too long to finish, just a little trim on his mustache and he would be good to go. He didn't know exactly why he looked down, at the trash can, but for whatever reason he did it, and at first when he saw those boxes in it, he thought maybe they were antibiotic boxes, but that didn't make any sense, if either you or Wyatt got sick to the point of getting antibiotics you would've said something, so the cowboy squinted his eyes in order to take a better look at it and felt his heart skipping a beat the moment he realized it was indeed a pregnancy test.
In fact, it wasn't just a pregnancy test, there were quite a few boxes, which meant you really made sure to know whatever the result was. Now, it deeply saddened him to know why you hadn't said anything, you hadn't even mentioned the suspicions you had; and it also made sense why you were acting a little off. Jack shook his head and swallowed hard, he had desired to have a baby with you, another one, to give your son a baby brother and sister, and it hurt him to see you decided to be silent about it because he had hurt you way too many times. However, he couldn't simply shrug it off and pretend nothing had happened, he needed to talk things through and for that, he took the proof into his hands and went after you.
•••
When you heard Jack calling your name instead of 'sugar' you knew something was wrong. You swallowed hard, knowing something was up, just by the way he walked towards you. Your heart neatly dropped the moment you saw exactly what he was carrying. That was not how you wanted him to find out about things, you wish you had prepared him beforehand, talked to him or perhaps prepared him a cute surprise, you weren't sure, but you were so scared.
"Is this what I think it is? Are you really pregnant sugar?"
"I-I am so sorry Jack, I didn't mean to get pregnant, it was an accident, I didn't want to do that, please don't be mad and don't leave us, please" you begged but you were interrupted by the cowboy falling onto his knees in front of you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and with tears in his eyes, he lifted your shirt up only enough to see your belly. He placed an affectionate kiss to it and rested his head against it in complete silence. He didn't need to say anything else, he was hopelessly in love with the fact he was going to be a father again and this time he would do things right.
____
A/N: I hope you besties enjoyed this chapter, because the next one will be the end of this beautiful series 🥺❤️
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal imagine#agent whiskey#agent whiskey x reader#agent whiskey x you#agent whiskey x y/n#agent whiskey fanfiction#agent whiskey fanfic#agent whiskey imagine#jack daniels#jack daniels x reader#jack daniels x you#jack daniels x y/n#jack daniels fanfiction#jack daniels fanfic#jack daniels imagine#kingsman#kingsman fanfic#kingsman fanfiction
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everything is okay ; yujin zb1
synopsis ; reader had been feeling down the weather, with almost no motivation to keep moving forward. but a day with yujin made everything okay.
genre ; platonic !!, applied suicidal reader, best friends, baking together, yujin-is-actually-my-son-cause-look-at-him, slight angst but lots of fluff !!
pairings ; best friend!yujin x best friend!reader, mentions of gyuvin
word count ; 1.1k words
you stare at the different bowls of food all over your kitchen. your kitchen was a mess. dirty bowls, opened bags of flour and sugar, spoons and forks all over the place. and all because of one guy.
han yujin.
“seriously, what are you doing?” you asked, watching yujin attempt to bake endless amount of cookies. you have seen him cook before, and it has never ended well.
“baking, of course!” yujin grinned at you, before turning back to stir the batter that was turning into dough. he held out a spoonful of cookie dough to your mouth, wanting you to taste it. “try it.”
you push the spoon away. “i don’t want food poisoning.”
yujin gave you a mock-glare. “mean!” he chuckled, before he placed the cookie dough on the tray. after carefully spreading each dough apart, he placed it in the oven to cook.
he smiled at you while you rolled your eyes, pointing at the mess he made. “clean,” was all you said.
“how about no?”
“han yujin!”
“okay, okay! don’t kill me.”
you took a bite of the cookie, yujin staring at your face while watching you, looking for any reaction. was is good? was it delicious? did you feel a food poisoning coming along?
you took one small bite and glanced at him, before taking a huge bite. gosh, it was good. his baking skills have really improved.
yujin grinned at your reaction, grabbing a piece too. he wouldn’t be lying if he said he was only waiting for your reaction to see whether it tasted good or not. he did not trust his own ability.
“rate it on a scale of one to ten,” yujin asked with a mouthful of cookies.
“negative ten.”
yujin mock-gasped, putting a hand on his chest. “how dare you!”
you chuckled, shaking your head. “it would be eight, minus two points cause you made my kitchen a mess.”
yujin smiled softly at that comment. while you were stuffing down your face, he carefully watched your expression. he hoped that you were alright. or at least that he was making you feel better. he started noticing small different things about you, how you have slightly changed. and even though you have never said anything, yujin knew. but he wanted you to tell him, he did not want to ask for answers about the things that you weren’t ready to tell.
“what?” you asked, noticing that he was staring at you. yujin shook his head, waving away your question. “nothing,” he said before he put the now-empty plate away into the sink. he was about to suggest a movie to watch when his phone vibrated in his pocket.
he checked the message, coming from kim gyuvin.
‘my dog. you promised to watch her today’
yujin groaned. he had forgotten all about it. “i’m so sorry yn, gyuvin-“
you shook your head. “go. it’s okay.”
yujin gave you a sad smile, before hurrying off. you closed the door behind him, waving him off. as soon as your friend left, you slid down against the door, feeling exhausted.
yujin didn’t make you feel tired, that was clear. but you couldn’t stand having to lie to him anymore. you were not okay, you haven’t been for the past few months. and you didn’t want to lie to your best friend about it anymore. but you didn’t want to burden him either.
you went to the kitchen to clean up any other mess he have left, and quite frankly, there was none left. but you cleaned the countertops anyway. you always cleaned frantically if you were feeling down, it helps you get your mind away from things.
today was no different. even though you were grateful towards yujin for making cookies for you that day, it didn’t stop your thoughts.
you cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, before cleaning your already-neat room. you couldn’t let your mind spiral into different places. you only started the habit of cleaning because of yujin, ironically, because he left a mess of your house one day and you had to clean up after him.
but you had realised it helped with your thoughts so you continued. but also because of yujin. you wanted to push on because of him. you could never leave your best friend behind, right? he has helped you more than he would ever know.
you were about to clean your living room for the nth time when your phone dinged across the room. you picked it up, reading the contact. han yujin.
‘i’m outside your apartment :D’
another ding.
‘hurry up!! i’m pretty sure eumppappa wants to bite me’
you smiled softly, rolling your eyes before wearing your shoes, leaving your house. you sent a quick text before turning your phone off, seeing yujin standing outside your apartment building, his phone in one hand and the leash in another.
‘i’m gonna record her biting you’
he finally spotted you coming out of the lobby and smiled, handing you the leash.
“here,” he said. “she likes you better than me anyway.”
you rolled your eyes, taking the leash and the both of you started to walk eumppappa, going wherever she leads you. it was way past evening by now so the both of you were mindlessly walking around the park nearby.
while you both talk about useless topics, you catch yujin carefully looking at you every now and then. you raised an eyebrow at him. “what?”
he shook his head, ignoring your comment. “just wondering,” he mumbled, taking the leash from you. you look at him with a curious look. “spit it out,” you said.
yujin doesn’t say anything, but he pointed at something from a distance. “look! the fish-shaped buns! we should get some.”
before you could even protest, yujin ran over to the stall, buying two fish-shaped buns. you walked up to him before he hands you a bun. he took a bite of his own, nearly burning his mouth. “ouch!” he yelped, his mouth in flames.
you laughed a little too hard at that, and for a brief moment, you see. you see that everything is a little okay. yujin catching your reaction. he smiled to himself, so glad he made you laughed. he has always done it before, but that day was particularly special.
“what an idiot,” you mumbled, smiling softly as you take a bite too. a thought rushed into your mind, but yujin was complaining on how hot the bun was in front of you that it made you push the thought away momentarily.
maybe you won’t be alright all the time, maybe the thoughts won’t ever stop. but yujin made everything okay. even if it’s short, but you were alright. it’s brief, but you felt alright again whenever you were with him.
yujin’s existence itself have always reminded you that everything is okay.
© taeraemisu do not copy my works !
perm taglist ! (send an ask) ; @wtfhyuck
#taeraemisu#boys planet#zb1#zb1 imagines#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone#zb1 oneshots#zb1 scenarios#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 yujin#han yujin#yujin#han yujin x reader#yujin x reader#han yujin imagines#yujin imagines#zerobaseone yujin
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Never Say Goodbye - Part 7
Pairing: Dean x Female Reader
Summary: The first time you and Dean sensed each other’s thoughts and feelings, you were just kids. It would take years to realize that you both were bonded for life, and even longer to finally meet. [Soulmate AU] (Rated M for eventual scenes – 18+)
AN: This chapter’s rated M! Also, in the name of classic rock, song inspo for this chapter was “Victorious” by Chicago. (An oldie but forgotten goodie.)
Word Count: 5,200
Warnings: romantic smut (18+ only!), language, angst, hurt/comfort, hella fluff.
Part 7: First Touch
Dean struggled with the mangled state of the door before he was able to slip inside your bedroom. That would be the first thing he fixed tomorrow.
“At least no one’ll catch you by surprise,” he muttered. Once he was sure the door wasn’t going to fall and wake up the whole house, he turned and saw you.
You’d been waiting for him while sitting on your bed. Dean took you in, with your hair loose around your shoulders and wearing just a loose-fitting shirt that fell to your bare thighs.
The sight was enticing, but your face was so sad that it took him out of staring like an idiot.
You slid off the bed and started towards him. He met you in the middle and enveloped you in his arms. Feeling your hands clench into the back of his shirt, Dean pulled you in closer and pressed a kiss to the side of your head.
He wouldn’t tell you it was okay, because he knew it wasn’t. He’d certainly been there. You clung to him and spilled silent tears into his shirt while he stroked your hair, your back.
Eventually you pulled away, just enough to see his face. Your eyes still burned, but the tears had ebbed at least some.
“Thank you,” you said. And you meant it. You were grateful. He didn’t have to be this kind, or this patient with you.
For his part, Dean just wanted to do whatever he could to make this easier for you: seeing your mom again, learning about things that go bump in the night, and being stuck with someone like him as your soulmate.
But he also couldn’t help himself.
He leaned down, slowly enough to give you time to push him away if you wanted to. You didn’t though; your gaze lowered to his lips. So Dean gave in. He kissed you.
First it was just a gentle press of his lips against yours, testing the waters. Then he tested you again. You leaned up into the angle of his kiss, all but clinging to his arms. Your hand traveled up his toned arm and slid up the back of his neck, pulling him down to you.
But the kiss deepened when your tongue sought his for the first time. Then it became all-consuming. Dean’s brows furrowed as your fingers slipped pleasantly into his hair. He instinctively gripped your waist, the soft swell of your hips. All of your curves felt so good in his hands.
The deeper he allowed himself to go, the more he lost himself in your mouth, the quiet, needy sounds you made, the feeling of you brushing against his mind and making him feel like the blood in his veins were fucking on fire. He fought the instinct to push you up against the dresser and find out what other soft parts of your body fit so well against his.
Instead, he walked you back until he sunk down on the edge of the bed. You followed him and straddled his lap. Your bare thighs felt delicious friction against his jeans. Though for a moment, the kiss broke as you took his face in your hands.
You were both breathing hard as you finally let this moment hit you. Staring into the depths of his eyes, you saw everything you never thought you would see: desire, tenderness…
You wanted to trust him with yourself. You wanted this…but was it happening too fast?
Dean seemed to sense your indecision. His grip on your waist felt heavy, but comfortable. His forearms rested on your thighs.
“Want to slow down?” he asked. You sensed through the bond that he was hoping you’d say no. But he was waiting on you.
You stroked his cheek. “I want this, believe me. But I also want to get to know you.”
He let out a long breath.
“I’m sorry.” You frowned apologetically. You really weren’t trying to tease him.
He nodded and stroked your hip with his thumb. “It’s okay. I get it.”
After a moment, a slightly cheeky smile grew on your face. Maybe you could tease him just a little.
“Don’t you know?” you asked. “The best things in life come after some delayed gratification.”
He looked at you in surprise. You knew he remembered telling you exactly that a couple of days ago, when you first starting playing the “name game.”
Dean cracked a smile, then soon his whole body shook with laughter. You smiled as he pressed his forehead against your chest, and you tried not to giggle too hard at his expense. Instead, you carded your fingers through his hair.
“Ooh, you’re trouble,” he muttered.
You scoffed. “And you’re not?”
“Touché,” he said, and then gripped your hips a bit tighter. Before you knew it, he’d tumbled you both sideways onto the bed.
You squealed as you floundered, but you were able to right yourself on your side of the bed. You pillowed your arm beneath your head and faced Dean, who reluctantly copied your position.
He felt a bit like a teenage girl on a sleepover this way, but he supposed he could get over that. The sight of you all laid out next to him was all-too tempting to ignore. He smirked at you.
“What now?” he asked.
You thought for a moment. “Well…I kind of feel silly asking this. But you don’t have a string of girlfriends on your merry cross-country travels, do you?”
Dean chuckled. “No. You don’t gotta worry about anything like that.”
You shot him a narrow-eyed look.
“Hmm, I don’t know. You looked like you’ve broken a few hearts along the way.”
“A gentleman never tells,” he teased. But then he gave you a more gentle smile. “But seriously. I don’t play games. Not with this, at least. And I won’t do that with you. I’m not an asshole.”
You felt the sincerity of his words through the bond, and you actually believed him.
“Okay.” You nodded. “So, I know you and Sam were basically raised into this…supernatural extermination gig. But how did you get started? What was the first monster thing you had to get rid of?”
“Well, first of all, we call it hunting,” he said. “I basically gave you that exterminator thing ‘cause I was tired of your bad guesses, Columbo.”
Your lips pursed. “Oh really? First I’m Nancy Drew, now I’m Columbo?”
“Anyway, to answer your question,” Dean said, unable to stop a smile. “My first kill was a harpy.”
“What, from Greek mythology?” you asked. Your attention was piqued.
“Uh, yeah. You’ve heard of it?”
“Dean, my master’s is in Greek and Roman Studies.”
“Well, excuse me, Professor.”
You grinned and tapped his hand in excitement. “Anyway, continue. Harpies actually exist?”
“Oh yeah.” He snorted. “They’re ugly too. Some old-ass hags that steal poor suckers’ souls.”
“Ech.” You grimaced. He explained how you killed them, then the story of how his dad finally let him on the hunt with him.
When your questions continued, he listed off many of the creatures he’d encountered—with his dad, with Sam, or even on hunts he’d done solo, after his dad gave him the Impala and Sam was at Stanford.
That night, the two of you spent hours talking about everything and nothing. After the past couple of days you’d had, you should’ve been exhausted. And you probably were, but your mind was alive, thanks to Dean.
He told you more childhood antics he and Sam used to get up to at Bobby’s house (once they’d pranked his truck with a dead fish). He told you how he hadn’t seen the point of trying in high school, when all they did was move around from one town to the next. He’d learned enough to get by, and what he hadn’t learned in school, he’d taught himself.
He told you how one time he’d snuck away from his dad when they were in Miami. John had found him the next morning. Dean had been on the floor of some club and still drunk, with glitter up his nose and his wallet mysteriously empty. Dean hadn’t been to Miami since.
You told him about your thesis, “TV & Film: The Modern-Day Mythology of the Masses.” He told you the idea was awesome, and that your boss, Dr. Birch, was an asshole.
You argued why cake was superior to pie (a blasphemy, as far as Dean was concerned), and why Billy Joel deserved his place in the Rock Hall of Fame.
“And I’m sorry, the Rolling Stones are overrated,” you said. Dean was aghast.
“Oh, you better take that back,” he warned. “Those guys are ancient fucks, but they still rock hard. Hell, they practically invented rock as we know it.”
“Mick Jagger can’t sing!” you argued. “The songs are repetitive as hell—”
Dean had heard enough slander. He took a smaller pillow from your bed and lightly smacked you with it.
You made a sound of utter shock. “What are we, five?”
You threw it back at him and he laughed and smacked it away. But he wasn’t expecting your surprise attack—rolling onto him and pinning his hands to the bed. Dean was surprised; you were wilier than you looked.
You grinned down at him. “Nowhere to go, Winchester.”
His surprise melted into a smirk as he raised his brows at you.
“All right, you’ve got me. Now what’re you gonna do?” he challenged.
Your confidence wavered. Despite the fantastic bluff you were giving, you hadn’t had many opportunities to have a beautiful man in your bed. (Not to say there hadn’t been any, but this situation was…slightly different.)
While you were debating, Dean took advantage of your hesitation. He rolled his hands out of your grip, rolled you both over and pinned you down by your wrists, gentle but firm.
When your shock melted, you looked up at Dean with a blush and a smile.
“Impressive,” you remarked.
“Sweetheart, that ain’t the half of it,” he promised. You believed the playful heat in his eyes. You suddenly realized that the flare of desire you felt in the pit of your belly wasn’t just you. You were sensing his too.
So you leaned up and kissed him. It was like an answer to a craving, rich and decadent, and almost sinfully good.
He met your passion with his own, releasing your hands so he could hold you more securely. Your hand swept along his cheek and disappeared again into his hair. Soon his lips drew a sensuous path away from your lips and down your neck, and you sighed, letting him sweep your hair out of the way.
Your fingers dug a bit into his shoulder when his teeth grazed your skin, teasing, then playfully biting. He got the response he wanted with your sharp intake of breath. It was cliché, but you really felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest.
But you wanted to feel more of him. You pulled the back of his shirt up and helped him take it off, followed closely by his jeans.
“You were gonna sleep in these?” you asked with a laugh. He shrugged, grinning.
“Couldn’t find my fuzzy pajamas,” he quipped. He was apparently a boxer-briefs guy, which suited him very well, you thought, fitting him in all the right places. You started to lift up your own sleep shirt when Dean stopped you. You looked up at him in question, but he just gently guided you back down and delved in with his hands beneath the thin fabric of your shirt.
He started by revealing the top of your thighs and left hot kisses there. He bypassed your underwear (for now) to burn a teasing trail over each new part of your body he exposed, from your hip and across your stomach to the underside of your breasts. Meanwhile, your breathing became unsteady as you did your best to let him take his time.
Your hands fisted into the sheets, but when he got close enough to touch, you slid your hands along his shoulders. You gasped as he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples, then finally took your breasts in his hands. He kneaded and pressed wet, open kisses wherever he saw fit. You felt like you were being devoured.
When your shirt eventually came off, the onslaught continued. You welcomed the weight of his body on top of you and the feeling of skin against skin. Everywhere you touched was lean and firm and strong, every dip of muscle and the slope of his lower back. You wanted to explore it all and commit him to memory.
You felt his knee between your legs, and you tried to press down into the contact. Both of you felt how wet your core was already through your underwear.
Dean spared a second to catch his breath while he looked down at you. His gaze was intense, singularly focused on you.
“Is this what you want?” he asked. You’d put on the breaks before, so you were grateful that he was considering you, even now.
Even though a mere few hours of talking had only scratched the surface of wanting to know him, this felt right. Being with him felt right.
“Yeah,” you told him. You swiped your thumb affectionately across his chin. “I want you…and just to put it out there, I’m on birth control.”
Dean’s mouth quirked at an amused smile. He lowered down to give you another one of those searing kisses that made your toes curl. You continued to map out each other’s bodies with mouths and fingers, until Dean’s hooked into your underwear and lowered them down. Those talented fingers slipped between your folds and swiftly found what they were looking for, dipping inside your heated core with one finger first, then two. You were tight.
You shuddered against him and gripped his arms and shoulders like a lifeline. “Dean…”
“I’ve got you,” he promised. His thumb moved up and found your clit, making your breath catch and another tremble run through your body. It was one thing to take care of this yourself. It was another entirely to have someone give you pleasure. He stroked slow and long, circled and pressed, finding out what you responded to. Sometimes you gave him instructions, and he was excellent at following them. Dean was learning you, and he was a quick study.
He pulled your first release from you with a deep, trembling exhale and a moan into his ear. He was already painfully hard, but feeling you clench around his hand was almost too much. He swallowed the rest of your voice with a kiss. You held his face and gripped his hair, maybe a bit too tight, but he didn’t seem to mind.
You felt bereft when his fingers slid out of you, but you didn’t feel that way for long. Dean positioned himself more centered, and after kicking off your underwear you reached out to help him with his. Once he was just as naked as you, you actually blushed at the sight of him. Your eyes traveled down his body, until they stopped and grew a fraction wider.
Dear Lord…is it gonna fit?
His hand on your cheek broke you out of your thoughts. You met his grin and the glint of amusement in his eyes. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart. We’ll get there.”
Oh shit. You bit your lip. He definitely heard that thought.
You sensed he was about to make another quipping remark, but you soon distracted him with your hands smoothing up his thighs and taking his dick into your hands. His breath hitched, making you smile.
You caressed it a few times across its lengths, over its head, and softly on the underside. Dean pressed his forehead to your shoulder and let out a pleased hum as he fought to stay still. His knees were positioned on either side of your hips, and already his thighs were shaking at your touch. Eventually you put an end to both his delight and insanity.
“Okay, you ready?” you giggled and positioned him at your entrance. The beginnings of sweat were forming at his brow, more from restraint than exertion. He gave you a wry look through labored breaths.
“Oh, I was right. You’re fucking trouble,” Dean quipped. But he still stroked a gentle thumb across your cheek.
Together, you guided him inside you and it made both of you shudder. Neither of you realized it then, but there was a spiritual thread of energy in you and Dean that stuttered to life.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “You okay?”
You nodded, squeezing his arms. You looked up at him with a smile. “Yeah. I’ve got you.”
A huff of a laugh fell through his lips. Finally, he started to move out of you. You let out a gasp and a moan when he slid back in. He filled you so completely from the inside out, and you had a stray thought that this couldn’t be real.
Your nails bit into his skin on accident, making him hiss. A different gasp fell from your lips. “I’m sorry!”
He winked at you and gave a teasing squeeze of your thigh. “Don’t be. Biting and scratching are definitely allowed.”
From that point on, Dean started to set a steadier pace while you helped him reach deeper angles inside you. That thread began to grow, a warm and pulsing sensation that built and built, until it bloomed with heat that spread through your insides like a molten caress.
To say it took you by surprise was an understatement. Your mouth fell open in wordless shock as that wave continued to crash over you. This wasn’t purely physical. It was the bond—that energy coursing through you.
It wasn’t until it finally dissipated that you noticed Dean’s brows were furrowed, his eyes screwed shut and breathing hard, as if he were going through the same tidal wave as you had.
He released a shaky groan and opened his eyes. Sweat had collected over his brow and you swept some of it away with a smile. He returned it and slid out of you so he could move to your side, rolling onto his back. You both laid there in silence, catching your breath. That was intense as hell.
“Well, I could brag but…that’s damn well never happened before,” Dean remarked.
Your head turned towards him as you bit your lip. A giggle bubbled in your throat, and escaped.
He fought a smile, but your laughter was infectious. He covered his eyes with a hand.
So you rolled and leaned over him. You hesitated for just a moment, then you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, with purpose. Dean dropped his hand and kissed you back with a more hesitant tenderness, even though his guilt was setting in. He realized what he was doing, and it was exactly what he’d wanted to avoid.
Getting close to you. Because soon he was going to have to leave. He and Sam had a job to do, and no matter how much this meant to him (and it was a lot more than he was willing to admit), he couldn’t stop now. They had to find John, and kill the demon that killed their mother.
He just didn’t have the heart to tell you. Not yet, and not now…
You distracted him when you dropped a kiss onto his chest. Then your hands started to survey the canvas before you. Dean had to take a breath as your fingers drew delicate patterns over his skin, all while your mouth drifted lower and lower down his sternum.
“Where’re you goin’?” he asked, with a laugh when your fingers grazed his sides. He flinched, stifling a laugh, and gave you a warning look. “Hey.”
No tickling.
You gave a noncommittal hum that he felt on his skin. After your gaze briefly flicked up to his, you smiled and continued your downward exploration.
The truth was, you were an incurable early bird.
The next morning was no exception. Though you were still tired, your mind was already buzzing as soon as you noticed Dean sleeping next to you. You smiled at the fact that he was still here, that he looked more boyish in his sleep, and that he was snoring lightly.
You wanted to let him sleep, so when an idea occurred to you, you slipped out of bed. Once you were freshened up and changed into some acceptable pajama pants and a shirt, you crept downstairs and headed for the kitchen.
By the time you felt his presence through your soul bond, you were sipping a cup of coffee while you flipped a set of pancakes over the stove.
“Morning,” you heard his voice just next to your ear, deep and a bit gravely with sleep. The timbre of it caused a sweet tingle to run down your spine. You looked over your shoulder and grinned at his fuzzy bedhead. You raised a hand back to sort through his hair while his hands found the familiar curve of your waist.
“Morning, sleepy,” you replied, welcoming him with a kiss on the cheek.
Dean gave a deep hum instead of answering. He wasn’t totally awake yet. You pointed to the three waiting mugs next to the coffee pot.
“Coffee’s over there. Give me a few minutes and this’ll be ready.” You gestured to the pancakes with your spatula.
Instead of going for the coffee, he went for your neck, pressing his lips just below your ear. He inhaled and let his thumbs drag against your skin, beneath your shirt. It was distracting, to say the least.
“Looks good. Smells real good,” he said. You felt his lips move against your skin, and it made your face start to heat up. You tried to not be so affected by him (and not play into his game so you didn’t burn the food). You leaned over to grab some more cinnamon.
“I like to cook,” you admitted.
“A big plus for me,” he said. He didn’t mind cooking, but if those pancakes actually did taste as good as they smelled, then he’d won the lottery with you for sure.
“I also like to eat,” you informed him. Food was life, after all.
Dean smirked and purposefully ran his hands down over your hips and butt. Your skin heated up further as you remembered the way he touched you last night, the strength and the nimble talent in his hands.
“I like a girl that can keep up with me,” he said. Queue a soft slap to your ass.
You yelped indignantly. You had to be flushing scarlet by now; you weren’t used to being touched and appreciated by someone like Dean, who looked and carried himself like almost any woman’s wet dream.
“Excuse me, I’m trying to do something nice for you,” you said with a slightly nervous laugh. “You’re ruining my concentration here.”
“Oh, don’t mind me,” he said. Meanwhile, his hands slid back up under your shirt. His fingers teased the sides of your breasts, making your breath hitch. You found yourself leaning back against his chest and letting him ruin what little means of focus you had left. You even felt the shape of his smile as he trailed more warm kisses along your shoulder.
Then you both heard someone clear their throat.
Sam was in the kitchen doorway, smiling, but also awkward and hesitating. “Morning.”
Bobby wasn’t far behind him. He leveled one assessing look at you and Dean and sighed.
“Aw hell. Just don’t burn breakfast, ya idjits.”
You and Sam chatted all through breakfast—mostly about school experiences and books you both had read for various classes. Dean ate in relative silence, but he enjoyed seeing you two getting along.
Of course, the peace just couldn’t last.
“So,” Bobby asked you. “When do you plan to tell your dad about this?”
He gestured with a finger to you and Dean. You gave Dean a questioning look, but he just shrugged.
“Up to you,” he said. You sighed.
“Today,” you decided. “I’ll talk to him today.”
But that was like a splash of cold water for Dean. Because when he met Sam’s eyes across the table, he knew his brother was remembering the same thing: they had a job to do.
Dean followed you upstairs while you got ready for the day. Every step felt a bit more torturous.
“Would you come with me to talk to my dad?” you asked him while you gathered some clothes before your shower.
“Sure…but hey, I need to talk to you for a sec,” he said. He took your hand and guided you to sit down next to him on the edge of the bed. You were curious, and he felt a bit of your concern too.
There really was no easy way to say this…
“I need to leave soon,” said Dean. First, it was your shock. Then your confusion started to build.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. “It’s…for my job. There are some things I have to take care of.”
“How long?” you asked.
Dean sighed. “I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“Then try,” you pressed. Your voice hardened, and Dean sensed that you were getting suspicious.
“It could be a while—”
“Why?”
“…Look, Sam and I have been hunting something big. It’s been a thing in my family…well, pretty much since the beginning,” Dean tried to explain. He didn’t want you to have to know all the gorey specifics. Where the hell would he even begin?
But then you started to withdraw from him. You took your hand back and your gaze fell away.
“Maybe I should’ve seen this coming,” you said. “I just…”
You sighed and fought against the way your eyes burned. “I guess I was wrong about what this was.”
Dean felt the downwards spiral of your thoughts and frowned. A small alarm bell triggered in his mind as his spine tightened.
“Wait, what are you talking about?” he asked.
You looked over at him, both upset and disappointed. “We were together one night and now you’re leaving. You said you wouldn’t play me, but I guess you got me good. This was just a pit stop for you.”
Dean grabbed your hand again before you could get up and leave him. His frown deepened in frustration and anger.
“You’re not hearin’ me. That’s not what this this,” he denied.
“Then what am I supposed to think, Dean?” you snapped. “You’re trying to pull a hit and run on me!”
“Okay, stop. Hold on,” Dean said. He pulled you down from the metaphorical rafters with both hands grasping yours.
He hesitated, but at this point, he had no choice. If he didn’t tell you what was going on, he had a feeling he would lose whatever fragile trust he had built with you. And whatever you two were doing here would crumble into nothing.
Dean wanted you to be safe…but he also didn’t want you to hate him.
So he told you everything. Starting with the house fire when he was five, his mom’s death, the Yellow Eyed demon that killed her, his dad’s quest for vengeance, and now his recent disappearance. The demon had been eluding John Winchester for years, but now, he seemed to be finally getting close. Sam and Dean just needed to find their dad and help him kill it.
You took all of this in—first in silent contemplation and sadness for him, then in eagerness.
“Well, can I help in any way?” you asked. Dean was shaking his head before you even finished.
“No,” he said firmly. “The way you can help me is staying safe. You’ve got school to finish, a job. You’ve got a life here.”
You frowned, and it only deepened the more Dean spoke.
“To keep you that way, I’ve gotta go for now,” he said. “I just…may not be back for a while.”
With a sinking feeling of his own, he felt your emotions twist and battle for dominance: disappointment, anger, confusion, sadness…
“I don’t understand why it has to be like this,” you said. Tears pooled in your eyes, but you looked away from him again. It broke his heart, really. It also surprised him just how quickly you’d gotten under his skin. In a good way. In a real way…
But in this, he wouldn’t waver.
“Look…my mom wasn’t the only one,” Dean said. “This thing, this demon, it killed Sam’s girlfriend, Jess. Just a few months ago.”
That earned your attention with a shocked look. Your expression melted into sadness. “Oh my God. Was she his…?”
“No,” Dean shook his head. Jess hadn’t been Sam’s soulmate. “But…he’s wrecked. They’d dated through most of college.”
“How did she die?” you asked. Dean wished you hadn’t. He really didn’t want to go there, but you weren’t going to let it go. He didn’t need to sense your emotions to understand that obstinate look on your face.
“She was pinned to the ceiling and burned to death,” he said, “just like my mom.”
You covered a gasp behind your hand. Tears once again flooded in your eyes.
“I’m going to protect you,” Dean promised. He squeezed your hand, and you covered it with your free one.
“Okay, thank you,” you said. “But what about you? I’m worried about what you’re getting yourself into.”
“I can handle it,” he said. He had lived this life for a long time.
“And what if something happens to you?” you asked.
Dean didn’t have a good answer for you. Plenty enough had happened to him so far.
His heart sank when you slipped out of his grasp, got up, and left him alone in your bedroom.
You only allowed yourself to cry when you were by yourself in the shower. You already cared about Dean, a lot, and this was an intense first test of your relationship. If it even was a relationship.
More selfishly, you couldn’t help but think that you’d finally found what you wanted, and it was about to fly out of your reach. It’s not fair.
But that just brought you back to worrying about Dean. In fact, you were scared to death.
Keep it together, you tried to remind yourself. If you weren’t careful, Dean would feel all of your emotions and hear your thoughts. You didn’t want him to think you were this clinging, needy thing…
“Hey,” Dean called out. He was in the bathroom with you, and you hadn’t even sensed him coming this time.
“…Can I come in?” he asked.
Part of you wanted to refuse out of spite, but in the end, you just couldn’t do it. You pulled back the shower curtain and told him to come in.
He undressed and joined you in the shower. It was a bit cramped, but at the moment you didn’t care. He propped a finger beneath your chin and raised your face up to his. Then he kissed you.
It reminded you of that first one you shared last night—first just a brush of lips, then a deeper taste, and then an all-consuming kiss that had him pulling your naked body flush against his.
When your lips eventually parted from his, you pressed your forehead against his chest and couldn’t help crying.
You felt pitiful. It wasn’t like he was going off to war. You would see him again…you just didn’t know when.
“I’m sorry,” he said. His hold was comforting, and so were his heavy hands stroking your back. “This is what I was trying to avoid. But I’m not gonna put you in danger…I just can’t.”
You both heard and felt the emotion in his voice. After remembering everything he’d just told you about his past, your compassion for him grew.
So you looked up at him. “We…we’ll make it work.”
Dean hesitated, but then he nodded in agreement.
We’ll make it work.
AN: Sorry for all that angst at the end, but yay for finally getting spicy!~ Let me know what you think!
To keep reading: PART 8
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In the mood for...
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1. Hello, I’d like some jealousy wangxian recs please! No dark lwj or dark wwx tho, like just them drinking vinegar but “healthily” (in the sense that they don’t take it out on their so) thankssss :))
breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm (T, 27k, wangxian, modern, miscommunication, assumed cheating, 5+1 things) features lwj being jealous of a-yuan because he thinks wwx has a boyfriend
Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar by masked (T, 13k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Fluff, Humor, Time Travel, 5+1 Things, Jealous WWX, the Impeccable Trust between WangXian, POV Outsider)
A storm without a warning by Spodumene (E, 22k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern AU, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Masturbation, Eventual Smut, Pining, Denial, Drunkenness, Jealousy, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending)
Straight at the Sun by diamondbruise (E, 33k, WangXian, Canon Universe, no war though, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, Misunderstandings, First Time, Anal Sex, Miscommunication, Jealousy, in abundance, Happy Ending)
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2. ITMF... A fic like "Man on My Mind" and "For a Good Time, Call" , where wwx or lwj is a camboy or sex worker of some kind, and the other one gets obsessed.
Please no dom/sub/bdsm or abo/mpreg, anything else is ok.
(All Old Things are New Again series by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 59k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Modern AU, canon still happened, extreme post canon, Sugar Daddy, Kink Negotiation, gentle dom!LWJ, canonical levels of consent play, Modern Cultivators, cultivators can recognize important people from previous lives, vaguely, this started out as a cute sugar fantasy and got just incredibly horny very fast, blame LWJ) noticed this one has some d/s stuff so put in the brackets ~Mod L )
convergent boundaries by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 38k, WangXian, Modern AU, United States, Sex Cam Worker LWJ, Porn Star LWJ, LWJ has tentacles, Bottom LWJ, Fan WWX, Gentle Dominant WWX, Hints of Sugar Daddy WWX, Identity Porn, Financial Advisor LWJ, Former Tech Bro WWX, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Breathplay, Orgasm Delay, exhibitionist lwj, Exhibitionism, lwj FUCKS, Mentions of Vers and Switch Wangxian, Tentacles)
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3. hello!! for the next itmf, any fics about wwx's red ribbon? where did it come from? does he have a bunch of red ribbons? or is it an especial ribbon? did his mother gave him? his father? if it is a single special ribbon, how does post canon wwx copes with having lost his red ribbon to the corpses at the burial mounds? i have a lot of feelings about this ribbon. thank u for the attention <33
Red Ribbon by ElektraElentari (T, 6k, wangxian, major character death, canon compliant, Drabble Collection, Canonical Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Grief/Mourning, Suicide, Eventual Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Character Study, Angst with a Happy Ending)
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4. Hello! Does anyone have recs for pastry chef aus? Like coffee shop, but focus on sweets? Any ship! Cake please! Thank you thank you!
Wangxian Versus World: Bakery Style series by stiltonbasket (T, 12k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JC/WQ, SL/XXC, modern, Organized Crime, lotus sibs own a bakery, Lawyers au, firefighter nmj, Single Parents, married xuanli, Murder Mystery, Bakery and Coffee Shop, getting together, happy ending, adoption)
Bichen Bakery series by gusuvibes (E, 34k, wangxian, modern, bakery au, Pining, Getting Together, Baker LWJ, Nurse WWX, Zizhen in a STARRING ROLE, Bunnies With Bad Names, Elaborate Descriptions of Delicious Baked Goods, Frottage, Eventual Smut)
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5. Itmf fics with famous wwx and manager/bodyguard lwj!
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6. hi!! i was wondering if you had any recommendations for fics that are post canon and are just wangxian being domestic and cute!! thanks!! <33
❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff)
And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)
the lives of birds by bleuett (E, 15k, wangxian, post-canon, domestic fluff, gardens & gardening, humor, family feels, established relationship, anal sex, rimming, blowjobs)
small mercies by mellowflicker (E, 11k, wangxian, post-canon, fix-it, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Getting Together, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Switching)
beneath rose-colored clouds by RoseThorne (G, 327, WangXian, Rebirth, Symbolism, Gift Giving, Fluff, Post-Canon, POV Third Person, POV LWJ)
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7. Thank you for the good work! If possible, I’m in the mood for a fic where Wei Ying is taken to gusu for punishment—it could be something he agrees to to protect the Wens, could be something the sects agree on, could be something LWJ begs for instead of execution agter the siege. Preferably, no Dark!LWJ, just craving some angst where WWX and LWJ deal with him being confined to gusu as a prisoner.
not exactly a fic, but the comic series House of Gentians by @pakhnokh might fit
🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)
Torn Between This Life I Lead (And Where I Stand) by meicairoubingfan (kiradyn) (M, 4k, WangXian, Angst, Lies, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Imprisonment, WWX in Seclusion, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Implied Dubious Consent Due to Alcohol, emotional issues, WWX's Poor Coping Mechanisms, Self-Sacrificing WWX, POV WWX, Love/Hate, Referenced Wangxian (Song), Emotional Damage, Goodbye Sex, Suicide Notes, Calibrated For Maximum Emotional Pain, Gūsū Lán Sect Bashing, Gusu Lan Hypocrisy)
My Heart is a Cavern of Longing, Please come home? by LadyVamp (E, 39k, WIP, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Bitch WWX, Forced Marriage, Accidental Baby Acquisition, YLLZ WWX, Oblivious WWX, Canon - Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Forced Bonding, Forced Pregnancy, Depressed WWX, Sex In A Cave, Uncontrolled heats, JZX Lives, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Pining LWJ, Pining WWX, LSZ is a Ray of Sunshine, Child LJY, LJY is WangXian's son, alpha to omega, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnant WWX, Mpreg) If you dont mind reading omegaverse
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8. ITMF for guilty lan wangji @yupkook
Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending) link in #15
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9. hi! itmf for jealous wwx pre wangxian's relationship? maybe with a dash of possessiveness too 👀
A storm without a warning by Spodumene (E, 22k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern AU, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Masturbation, Eventual Smut, Pining, Denial, Drunkenness, Jealousy, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending) link in #1
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10. Hello! Please recommend fics with wei ying/lan zhan or both turned into babies/toddlers/kids and the other or their children or brothers take care of them. I have read all the classics like silver and gold, grow etc as much as I adore them please any thing new, I crave this genre. Canon or alternate please but not modern
Thank you @dramaqueenrolf
i carry your heart with me by lulu_kitty (G, 12k, wangxian, post-canon, established relationship, de-aging, fluff & angst)
sugar stains by lanjingyeet (T, 18k, wangxian, Kid Fic, General Shenanigans, Spirits, questionable parenting, junior trio on babysitting duty, Age Regression/De-Aging, Child WWX)
how do i forgive myself (for losing so much time) by thunderwear (M, 26k, wangxian, post-canon, Age Regression/De-Aging, Kid Fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Sharing a Bed, JC & WWX reconciliation, Fluff, Pining) LXC de-aged instead
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11. Hiiiiiiii 😊I absolutely love this blog 😍. It helps me so much when it comes to finding awesome fics!
Please can you recommend me some lengthy canon divergence fics that you love. I would love some where wangxian get together earlier and how it changes things or wwx leaving the jiang sect. Or even some with ylz wwx whos only soft on lwj. I wouldn't mind some a/b/o fics either.
Thank you so much 🌸
wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, wangxian, canon divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Canon-Typical Violence, Happy Ending, Noping Out Of Society With Your Boyfriend And Your 50 Wen Refugees: The Novel, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except Wen Ning But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts, [Podfic] Wide Enough and Wild by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))
the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (M, 38k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, set after the yiling date, Sick Child, the illness never gets worse than it is in the first 1000 words)
Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nostalgia, Subtly Assertive LWJ, very mild angst, Angst with a Happy Ending)
stay, fury, your wrist wrapped in silk by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 228k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ LWJ, LWJ loses his golden core, yiling wei sect, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Temporary Character Death, War Crimes, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Revenge, Protracted Sunshot Campaign, temporary impotence, growing intimacy)
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12. ITMF fics set during the CR study arc where WWX gives up on bugging LWJ, either because he takes it seriously when LWJ or JC tells him to cut it out, or his own (lack of) self-esteem causes him to worry that LWJ genuinely hates him, or whatever. And LWJ realising that wait no he doesn't actually want to be left alone. (Bonus if there's some angst where WWX throws himself into his studies as a distraction & becomes a model student & LWJ now has to listen to LQR praising him & saying how glad he is that whatever was distracting him before has stopped.) @thispatternismine
Of Bunnies and Sleeves and All Happy Things by moonwaif (G, 3k, wangxian, mutual pining)
Blooming You a Garden Inside Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 54k, WIP, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease, Angst, Happy Ending, Pain, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Sibling JC, One-Sided NingXian, Good Friends, POV Multiple, JC and WWX Talk About Feelings, JZX & WWX Friendship, Good Sibling LXC) maybe?
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13. for itmf, trans top lwj? with optional (strap) size queen wwx ❤️ modern or canon/cultivation solutions are both fine!
seized by desire by luckymarrow (E, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Yoga, Trans Male Character, Pining WWX, Dominant LWJ, Single Parent LWJ, Developing Relationship, Child LSZ, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Vaginal Fingering, Creampie, Penis In Vagina Sex, Cunnilingus)
when the skies can’t sleep by HappyPrince (E, 2k, wangxian, modern, PWP, Objectification, Humiliation, Name-Calling, Spanking, Crying During Sex, Non-Con/Rape Kink, Trans LWJ, Trans WWX, t4trope, harness, Strap-Ons, Rough Sex, Sadism)
High-quality monster cocks, for your pleasure and your lover’s! by biasto_bias (E, 3k, wangxian, modern, reincarnation, hybrids, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Trans Male LWJ, Bottom WWX, Sub WWX, Top LWJ, Dom LWJ, LWJ pov, Enthusiastic Consent, Consensual Non-Consent, Non-Con/Rape Kink, Painplay, Biting, canon-typical feminine self-description from wei wuxian, Rough Sex)
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14. Hi! For the next itmf… any fics with mini version of mdzs lovers? Like for example Wwx has a mini version of Lwj and Lwj has a mini version of Wwx. (Can be a soulmate indicator where once they reach a certain age, they will have a chibi/mini version of their soulmate)
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15. This is kind of a specific ITMF so please bear with me, but: I've read a few arranged marriage fics where Wangxian got off to a rough start, and they both were convinced the other was unhappy in the marriage, so they both tried to do what they thought the other wanted and it just ended up making things worse, like WWX making himself miserable by obsessively complying with the rules like a Good Lan Spouse(tm) and LWJ realizing WWX won't laugh or smile when he's around (excessive emotion is prohibited!) so he tries to stay away as much as possible so WWX can feel more comfortable, and they're just both feeling so guilty for not being what the other wants. It's my current favorite flavor of angst, so if anybody has anything with similar vibes, pretty please lay it on me.
💖 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Pining, slow burn, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, bottom LWJ)
Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending) the ultimate unhappy marriage angst fic
The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication) the arranged marriage bit takes a little while but oh the angst is so good when it comes
A Myriad of Blossoms by Itszero (E, 60k, wangxian, Bottom LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, YL WWX, Hurt LWJ, Cruel wwx, he's cruel until he's not, Protective WWX, Caring WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Dark WWX)
All that is solid melts into air by huxiyi (T, 18k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Growing Old Together, Breaking Up & Making Up, Post-Canon, Character Study, Getting Back Together)
To Bring You Back Within My Reach by ablaiseofglory (M, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, No dubious consent, Adopted Children, Kid Fic, A/B/O Dynamics, omega wwx, Alpha LWJ, Misunderstandings)
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16. #itmf I'm in the mood for a fic which deals with Wei Ying's three month long disappearance from Lan Zhan's point of view, about Lotus pier burning and Wei Ying missing and whatever rumors to the rumor that he fell into the Burial Mounds? If this is too specific, then Lan Zhan's POV on Wei Ying's three months in Burial Mounds (at any point of time in mdzs verse) would do as well @wutheringskies
trees long for peace but the wind will never cease by RoseThorne (G, 1k, WangXian, Angst, Fantasizing, Hero Complex, Yearning, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Love, Coping Mechanisms, Coping, POV Third Person, POV LWJ)
waiting, shivering by kornevable (T, 2k, JC & LWJ, Introspection, Missing Scene, background wangxian)
~*~
17. Hi! I was wondering if you’ve got any fics to recommend where lan wangji married into yunmeng jiang?
The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication) link in #15
~*~
If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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Hey I was wondering if you could do a fic with Negan who is addicted to the reader’s thighs and chest? 🥵🥵🥵
[Hey! I'm so sorry for the long wait, here's a little thing I wrote for your request. 🤤🔥]
Warnings: a bit of angst, smut, a bit of fluff, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, unprotected sex, a bit of cumplay
"Damn baby, I love you", Negan breathed against her neck, peppering her skin with hot kisses.
"Don't you lie to me, you're just desperate to fuck me, that's a difference", she answered a bit breathlessly, trying her best not to believe all those delicious words coming out of his glorious mouth.
"Why so sassy, Y/N? It's the fucking truth."
She pushed him away a bit to look into his eyes. She wanted to believe him, God forbid she wanted so desperately to be loved by him, but his mouth had spun lies in the past, how could she trust his words in a heated moment like this?
"How should I prove it to you?"
"Funny you're asking, maybe start with dumping your wives, then we can talk again about love."
She could see the desire in his eyes fogging over with anger, then, as fast as she had noticed it, it was gone again. He looked tired now, though somehow still adoring her scowling face.
"You know I can't do that, not now anyway. I need to keep that image up, need to lead those peoples. Now more than ever. But I do fucking love you, Y/N, believe it or not."
Her eyes drifted towards his lips, then up to his eyes again. She desperately needed to believe him, even if she had doubts about his words. In his gaze she could swear she saw what he truly felt and that his words were coming straight from the heart. So she sighed, taking his handsome face between her hands to press a kiss onto his lips.
He hummed approvingly, deepening the kiss while pushing her backwards onto her back.
"Let me at least make it up to you, I know how much you love my tongue", he spoke between kisses, his hands already busy with pushing her skirt up which she had solely put on for him.
"You're so full of yourself, Negan", she answered, but enjoyed how his fingers were tracing her thighs upwards.
"Oh darling, you soon will be fucking full of me too."
She wanted to respond to his foul and self-assured words, though his fingers possessively gripped the flesh of her thighs, pushing them apart to better settle between them.
"You have no fucking idea how much I love your thighs. So fleshy and mine." With his strong grip he was sure to leave tiny bruises, but Y/N couldn't care less.
With his signature smirk, he looked at her, before he again kissed the tender flesh of her neck, his hands travelling from her thighs towards her chest. He groped her breasts through her shirt, letting out a gluttoral sound.
"And your tits, they're out of this damn world. So round and also all mine."
Punctuating the last two words, he also pushed up her shirt, baring her breasts to his heated gaze because she had forgone a bra for a reason. His tongue was fast to close around one of her nipples, sucking it into his welcoming mouth.
The moans now leaving her were delicious sounds in his ears, so he continued his ministrations with her other one, switching between her breasts.
"Fuck, Negan", she groaned, feeling her panties dampen by the second. She wanted so desperately to feel him, the power he had over her made her feel dizzy.
"Yes, baby, I love the sounds you're making", he commented while making his way downwards, pushing her skirt as well as her underwear down her legs in one go.
"Yeah, let me see with what I'm working here." His hands parted her legs again, her bare pussy on full display.
"Fuck Y/N, so wet for me, need to taste you", were his words before he delved right in, licking a broad stripe from her entrace to her clit, hugging her thighs tightly on either side of his face.
"Shit", she exclaimed moaning, her hands immediately flying into his hair. He pleasured her like a god, eating her out passionately like he hadn't just tasted her a few days ago.
Her thighs trapped his head between them while her orgasm approached fast. He didn't even use his fingers, his tongue alone brought her to the brink. When she tipped over, she screamed his name, seeing stars.
"Mhm fuck, I just love it when you cum so hard you nearly crush me with those gorgeous thighs", he muttered breathlessly with his deep, sexy voice, biting her inner thigh playfully. His beard glistened with her juices, he looked utterly irresistible like this.
Negan kissed his way back up her body, helping her out of her shirt on his way which left her naked in front of him. Sitting back on his bed, he admired her body, biting his lip at all the dirty thoughts running through his head.
"Where are you going?" she asked when he stood up from the bed.
"Just taking off my clothes. Damn, you're so impatient."
Taking his time, he stripped in front of her while not once breaking eye contact. Despite her orgasm, Y/N was still hungry for Negan, so him undressing slowly felt like some kind of torture. She watched his cock springing free from its confines, all hard and ready for her. Licking her lips, she got up and onto her knees in front of him, intending to return the favor with her mouth obiently open, but Negan had other plans.
"Fuck, as tempting as that looks, gotta fuck that pussy now, I can't wait any longer."
He took her hand, helping her up, and guided her back towards the bed. But instead of pushing her onto it, he lay down himself, motioning for her to straddle him.
With a grin, Y/N followed him, sinking herself down as soon as she had crawled over him, a deep sigh leaving her mouth at the fullness she felt.
"Fuck, still so tight for me", Negan complimented, enjoying the feel of her velvet pussy around him and also the view. Her breasts moved with every determined bounce of her on top of him. His hands came up to them, kneading them lovingly.
"Fuck, you're so touchy today", Y/N commented, her hands finding a home on top of his while her movements never faltered.
"What can I say, I fucking love your tits." His touch got stronger, thumb and index finger of each hand twirling her nipples, a rich moan spilling from her lips. "I love how they feel, how they look. I love how you squirm for me when I touch them." He looked up at her, gifting her with the first deep thrust upwards. "And I sure as shit love how they look covered in my cum."
Y/N groaned at his dirty talk and movements under her, riding him faster to chase another orgasm which was building rather rapidly. "You feel so good."
Negan grinned at her, eyes fixed on her face. Over time he became a master at reading her body and he could see she was close. His hands left her breasts to find a home on her hips, helping her move above him, determined to bring her the most pleasure possible.
"Shit, harder, please", she uttered breathlessly and Negan delivered. He thrusted upwards a couple of times until the waves of bliss crashed over Y/N, leaving her a panting mess on top of him.
"Fuuucking hell", Negan groaned, still thrusting into her to prolong her pleasure. But he couldn't take it any longer, his own release building deep inside of him.
"Up", he uttered, helping her lift her body off of him. She collapsed next to him on the sheets, still panting helplessly, when he positioned himself next to her chest, stroking his cock with fast movements.
She watched him with hooded eyes while he came, roaring a litany of curses as his cum shot onto her chest, covering her breasts in pearls of white.
It took long moments for both of them to catch their breaths. Negan had collapsed next to her, laying on his side to better look at her.
"Damn, you look absolutely gorgeous with my cum on your tits."
She smiled at him lazily, her fingers dancing through his release, smearing it across her chest.
"I love how that feels." Her right index finger came up to her mouth to suck it clean. "And I love how you taste."
Negan nearly roared at her, wedging himself between her legs again and pinning her hands above her head.
"For fuck's sake, why do you always have to be such a fucking tease?"
"Because you love me for it."
"I definitely do. And you love me for all the naughty things I do to you."
She then smiled at him warmly, her fingers, still covered in his cum, stroking his cheeks, a gesture so absolutely filthy and sincere, it described their relationship perfectly.
"Yes I do. But I also love you for so much more."
---
Taglist: @murphslass @negans-attagirl @you-a-southpaw-doll @toxic-ink
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please do a smut where y/n is like an innocent catholic girl who has recently arrived at the cortez and has already caught the attention of james, one evening he invites her to his room for a dinner together and she ends up doing it for the first time with james who convinces her (ps i love your writing sm)
Eros
note: you are too kind for tacking on that compliment there ☺️ don't give me a big head nowwwww 🥰
warnings: anti-catholic stuff, sm*t, some pretty strange dirty talk, light bondage, corruption k!nk, reader not being entirely sober during s3x...
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James' POV
Dirty streets, these days, are graced by angels of white and gold. Pure, uncorrupted souls with soft skin and far-fetched dreams. I hadn't been able to see that until she arrived.
I used to think Los Angeles was teeming with dirty cretins and disgusting ne'er-do-wells. When Y/N checked into the Hotel Cortez, my worldview shifted.
A Los Angeles local, she found herself in my grasp after unknown circumstances left her 'stranded' in the city for the night. At least, that's what she told reception. Her silken hair reflected the dim light of the halls so beautifully as she walked to her room. She almost glowed in her white lace dress, made fairer with her gold jewelry.
I watched as she unlocked the door to suite 61. I was left entirely shocked when her body made a quarter turn, making clear the rosary hanging from her neck. The white beads hung so hauntingly from her fair neck. She wore no makeup. Her nails were bare. She was so clearly Catholic.
Oh, how I had such contempt for her god.
It should have been no surprise to me that the purest being I had ever seen was some religious zealot. But, nonetheless, I found myself utterly speechless, albeit all too tempted to aid her in straying from her 'god's' light.
I approached her as she sat at the bar in the lobby later on. She twisted strands of her hair in her fingers, nervously sipping some water out of a crystal glass.
'Why come to a bar to drink water?' I asked.
'Oh,' she spun around, startled by my sudden appearance. 'Hello, uh?'
'James Patrick March,' I announced, bowing slightly. 'And you are?'
'Uh, Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. And, um, I don't imbibe.'
'Ah, I see,' I replied. 'Well, you'll have no fun in this lobby then. Spirits are about the only thing worth seeing down here.' I looked around, feigning disgust.
'I just, uh, wanted some time away from the room...is all,' she stammered.
'Come to my suite, then, darling,' I purred, extending a hand. She thought for a moment, staring into my eyes with her big, petrified, innocent gaze. Instead of responding, she took my hand and hopped down from the bar stool.
+
'Oh my, what a wonderful suite you have,' she gasped, gaping at the luxury my space offered. 'I've never seen anything this nice.'
'Oh? And how's that?' I inquired, walking over to the bar to fix us both drinks. She sat down on one of the couches in the front room, feeling the velvet texture with both of her hands. When she placed her hands back in her lap, her lace dress rode up deliciously, exposing a great portion of her thighs. She worked quickly to smooth the fabric back over her soft skin.
'This is embarrassing, but in all honesty, I grew up pretty poor,' she explained. 'I just trust in God, though. I don't need much. I never have. Because all I need is God's love. And I know I have it.' I watched her face light up, smiling widely as she spoke nonsense. She twirled that blasted rosary in her dainty fingers.
'Do you wish god would bring you a life like mine?' I couldn't help but toy with her in this way. Her face shifted expressions so quickly, I almost didn't catch the desperation and angst in her eyes before she replaced it with a grin.
'No, sir,' she smiled. 'I trust in the plan He's laid out for me. I just do what I feel called to do.'
'So, god told you to come up here?' I countered. She cast her gaze down, not replying. I glided across the room to where she sat and handed her the drink I prepared.
'I-I don't imbib-'
'This drink is not alcohol, dearie. It's sweet,' I smirked, sipping from my own glass. She looked down into the glass of green-hued liquid and shifted it in her hands. 'I promise.' She brought the glass up to her lips and took a small taste.
'Ooh,' she hummed, 'it's like licorice.'
'I knew you'd like it, sweet girl,' I murmured.
Her next sip was much larger. We conversed until I was sure the absinthe had taken effect. I idly rubbed her back, my arm around her shoulders as we spoke. She relaxed into my touch in no time. Before long, I was caressing her thighs and making her purr like a kitten. I would have her in my grip in no time.
'Precious girl, what really brought you to the Hotel Cortez, hm?' I asked, breaking contact for just a moment.
'You want the real truth?' she slurred.
'Nothing but, dearest.'
'I ran away from home,' she explained. 'More like...I was cast out. My parents...they caught me with a boy from church this past spring.'
'Ah, I see,' I replied, trying to encourage her to go on.
'We were in my bedroom...I promise we weren't doing anything...just kissing...' she continued to slur. 'I wanted more...he was taking so long...but Dad opened the door before anything happened.'
'That's just too bad,' I cooed, stroking her silken hair. Her scent was intoxicating. Sugary sweet.
'I loved him...Dad said he would kill him if he saw him again,' she whispered. 'It hasn't been the same since...so I ran away...they weren't talking to me anymore. I-I sinned.'
'Ah, see, that is where you are wrong. Sin is not real,' I tutted. 'What you need to understand is that religion is a phase. It is not based in reality.'
'No, Mr. March-'
'Please, love, call me James,' I smirked. 'Your god is not watching you. He does not care about you. If he did, he would allow you the simple pleasures in life. Like spirits...'
I gestured to her glass.
'Sex...' I began peppering kisses on her neck. She shivered and moaned lightly.
'And freedom. You see, your belief in him is a passing phase. Passing phases wear you thin. You can only believe for so long...'
'I don't, I don't think that's right,' she breathed as my hand ran up her thigh.
'It is quite right, dear. I am nothing like the boy you loved in spring. I am nothing like your god,' I growled. 'I will let you have pleasure.'
'I want that,' she whined, my hand continuing to creep up to her soft, pure, untouched center.
'Yes, you do.' I took her relaxed body in my arms and carried her to the bedroom. Her white dress made her look so untainted against my dark silk sheets. It almost made me sad to remove it.
Once her dress was off, I twisted her rosary in my hand and pulled. The string popped. A couple of beads clattered to the ground. I used what was left of the necklace to tie her right hand to the bedpost. A leather strap from the drawer in the bedside table bound her left hand. She was so vulnerable. So willing.
'James,' she whined. 'Are you really real?'
I ran my hand from her calf all the way up to her soft tummy, watching the goosebumps rise on her skin. 'Very real,' I answered.
I removed my own clothing in a flash and crawled onto the bed, stooping my face down to meet hers. Her doe eyes looked up at me so beautifully. She was almost too delicious to drink in.
I entered her forcefully. She yelped loudly, her eyes widening at the feeling. Her walls tightened around me. I couldn't help but groan.
I kissed her as I pumped in and out of her. She didn't kiss back. Instead, she panted and whimpered into my mouth. I moved my attention to her breasts, peppering kisses all over. I took my time taking each of them in my mouth, swirling my tongue and making her back arch.
'Does this feel good?' I asked, still thrusting in and out of her warm cunt.
'Y-yes,' she panted.
'Nothing like what your god has made you feel, yes?'
'No, no, never,' she whimpered, her hips bucking.
'You were surrounded by insolent fools. Those Catholics. Jokers, happy-go xenophobe locals,' I growled. 'The men that wrung us all dry, the boys that poked your eye, the common fools. Your people.' I thrust harder and harder. She tried to move her arms but to no avail.
'James,' she moaned.
'Y/N,' I replied. 'Don’t you think we make a good pair?' Sweat began forming on my brow. My breathing became ragged. ' We could join forces like carousels and their horses, forever spinning 'round.'
'Yes!' she howled. I felt her hot fluids rush out of her. She was experiencing pure bliss. Her eyes screwed shut and her mouth hung open. I had no choice but to finish as well. I groaned lightly and removed myself from her. She lay there, breathing heavily.
'Come out of your shell and join us honey, we will sort you out,' I breathed, running my fingers through her hair. 'You belong here.'
+++
AHH sorry if this was too much for some of y'all, I really had to restrain myself. My OG ending had him killing her (as most of my JPM pics end hehehehehe). Thank u again for the request!
#evan peters x female reader#evan peters#evan peters fic#evan peters x reader#ahs#james patrick march#evan peters oneshot#james patrick march x you#james patrick march x reader#jpm#jpm x reader#ahs hotel
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Children of the Night Part 5 (Steddie X You)
Warnings: Vampire Daddy Eddie/ Sub Human Steve & Sub Human Fem Reader (Camboys and now cam girl :) ), SMUT, of the threesome variety (of course), lingerie (male and female), dirty talk, biting (obviously), grinding in sleep, FLUFF, they love each other <3.
ANGST, Eddie feeds from Y/N and Steve, he gets a bit too carried away with Y/N where Stevie has to step in, Eddie is a bit more forceful (passionate and possessive) in this chapter but they both keep him present so the vampire doesn't take over too much. These three talk about traumas. Steve mentions his dad finding out about him and Eddie and getting physical. Y/N talks about past abusive relationships (Domestic Abuse and Child Abuse triggers) very briefly though. Kinda cliff hanger ending :)
Word Count: 5337
Series here
Eddie silently takes in the hotel around him as Steve throws the bags of new clothes he bought with the money Dustin gave them onto the bed.
“Ok, now, uh, why don’t you go ahead and take a warm shower. When you get out we can crash and then get back on the road.” The man’s eyes scan his boyfriend’s as he continued to stand there in silent contemplation. “Do, um, is there anything you need?”
“Hungry.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I have no idea where to get you some more food. Maybe…maybe there’s a hospital nearby…or…” His honey-colored irises find his as he pauses for a moment. “You can feed from me till we find something.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Steve stepped forward and cupped his cheeks in hands. “And I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or die because you didn’t get to eat. I don’t…fully understand how this works, Eddie. I just don’t want to lose you again.”
The vampire’s gaze shifts to his partner’s neck and his mouth begins to salivate with need. Steve’s beautiful throat that he’s kissed and marked up so many times in the past looked so much more delicious now under his blackening eyes.
“I trust you, baby.”
As Eddie mewled at the man’s words, his arms extended out to pull him into his embrace and hold him tightly to his broad, cold chest. As the metalhead tenderly placed kisses along his flesh, Steve threaded his fingers through the man’s still wild hair as he ran his lips along his own neck and shoulders, breathing in Eddie’s smell that he missed so much.
Something almost predatorial over came Eddie as an animalistic need coursed through his veins. Practically throwing Steve back onto the bed, he sloppily pulled down their pants just enough to free what he wanted. Spitting into his hand, he stroked it along his length before lining himself up and sliding into the man underneath him.
Steve groaned loudly at the feeling of the person he loved and had missed so much stretching him out again. His eyes rolled back as Eddie thrust into him, his lips kissing along his neck, a gentle contradiction to how rough he was being between his legs.
His eyes shot back open when he felt something sharp pierce his skin as his fingers gripped Eddie’s hair tighter.
“Fuck, ho-honey what…what’s happening…”
Eddie growled in response, his palm clinging to Steve’s head just below his ear to hold him still. The man’s body tingled as he felt the blood draining from his body and fully caught fire as his boyfriend aggressively pounded into his sensitive spot bringing him hurtling towards the edge.
“FUCK! Baby, I-I…”
Your eyes opened right as Steve’s did as your orgasm washed over you. He grunted as his palm dug into your hips and his own stopped grinding against you as his spend hit your thigh. Eddie grumbled behind you, his own release hitting your lower back.
As you became more aware of the situation around you, your breathing began to steady.
After Steve’s initial panic had subsided, you three spent a quiet, calm evening in bed just holding each other with gentle touches. As daylight began to paint the sky, you had fallen asleep and into another memory. As it got more heated, they both had begun grinding against you in their sleep; Steve sliding his cock between your dripping folds allowing his shaft to rub along your clit as Eddie did the same with your ass.
“Fuck… I’m so…so sorry.”, Steve stammered as he scooted his body away from yours.
“Hey, hey, wait. It’s ok. I don’t mind.”, you comforted. “Plus, that one was really strong. I wonder if it’s because we’re both seeing it.”
Nodding, his head fell back against the pillow as he covered his eyes with his arm. You could still feel Eddie’s breath steadily breathing once again as he continued to sleep behind you.
“Wow, didn’t faze him at all.”, you giggle.
“Yeah, he’s always been a sexual deviant so I’m not surprised.”
“Oh, oh my. Steve Harrington, did you just make a joke?”, you teased lightly, smiling when you noticed a small grin paint his face. “Hey, I have an idea. How about when he wakes up we get out of the house and have some fun.”
Dropping his arm and turning his eyes to meet yours, his smile grows at the light he sees shimmering behind them.
“I’d like that.”
***
“This makes me think of Lost Boys.”, Eddie jests as he looks out into the ocean in front of him from the rock wall you three were sitting on. “All we need is some trashcan fires and we’re set.”
“Don’t forget a Cory or two.”, you laugh as you lick the ice cream cone in your hand. “Is anything from that movie factual?”
“Yes. Kiefer Sutherland is totally a vampire.”
Lightly smacking the long-haired boy’s arm, you grin as you lean on his shoulder.
“This was a good idea, Y/N. I’m glad you suggested it.”, Steve smiled as he took a sip of the soda he was holding before offering you some which you accepted eagerly.
“What DID make you suggest it? Did you guys have another dream?”
“You don’t know?”, you asked as Eddie shook his head. “No, I mean we did but I just thought we’ve been cooped up inside for a couple of weeks and quite frankly haven’t been on a date or anything. Not that I need one I just…I’m just saying…ok I’ll just stop talking.”
Both men chuckle when you stop babbling while Steve leans over to kiss the top of your head.
“Do you come to the pier a lot?”, he asked.
“Uh, not a lot. I had a foster family once bring us here but that was to get us out of the house so they could do something illegal. I, uh,…” When you paused they both turned their bodies to face you; Eddie crossing his legs while Steve still let one dangle over the side.
The vampire beside you could feel the struggle within you; that pain mixed with guilt and a bit of shame.
“Hey, you can tell us anything, ok? We want to know more about you but of course there’s no rush.”, he soothed as he tenderly reached out to pet your head.
“I, uh, ran away for a time and lived out here on the beach with another guy I knew. He actually got arrested right over there.”, you announce as you point past Steve towards another end of the area. “He beat the shit out of some guy and stole his wallet. Cops found me when they came looking for him but thankfully my mom had finally reappeared from whatever bender she had been on so I got to go home.”
They didn’t miss the sarcasm in your tone especially Eddie who felt your pain worsen at the memory.
“Did that guy hurt you?”, Steve asked causing the vampire to growl in his throat when you nodded.
“Sorry.”, he mumbled. “I don’t like the idea of someone hurting you…either of you.”
“Hm. Well, my dad was just an emotional dick.”, the pretty boy replied in a lighthearted tone that you both knew was fake. “I mean, minus the fucking the freak incident.”
“The fucking the freak incident?”
“Remember how I told you about those rumors that spread in our tiny town about me ‘fucking the freak’?” When you nodded he continued. “When my father heard them, he confronted me and I told him the truth. He threatened to cut me off and I told him I didn’t care. I told him that I loved Eddie and I wasn’t going to leave him.”
Steve softly grinned at his boyfriend who did the same as he reached across you to caress his face.
“In response, my dad punched me and threw me out of the house. I showed up at Eddie’s trailer and Wayne took me in.” A question passed through your mind that he saw through your eyes before you turned your head away and pressed your lips together. “Because I was at the Hawkins High Championship Game.”
Both you and the metalhead’s gaze shifted towards him at his response.
“You were wondering why if I lived with him, why wasn’t I there when Chrissy died, right? Yeah… Mr. Nerd here had a club meeting with his friends where they played D&D together while I went to the game. Afterwards, he went home while I hung out with one of our friends and ended up crashing at her place. The next morning, we went to work and that’s when I found out what happened.”
Eddie heavily sighed as he glared at Steve but it wasn’t in anger…
“Steve Harrington, how many times do I have to tell you what happened wasn’t your fault? No, don’t argue with me.”, he scolds as the other boy starts to defend. “I can feel your guilt. It’s actually very interesting to me how guilty you both feel about things that aren’t your fault.”
“You never felt that way?”
Steve’s eyes widen in playful mocking as the vampire hangs his head and growls. It wasn’t the many angry rumbles you had heard from him but more like faux annoyance of being caught. You’d be lying if you didn’t say you found it kind of cute.
“I did but I did the thing I felt guilty about.”
“You didn’t kill her, Eddie.”
“Yeah but I left her there. I should have stayed with her till the cops came. I shouldn’t have let my uncle see her like that.”
“But then you would have gotten arrested.”, you added trying to help ease his own pain.
“Maybe… doesn’t matter much now though.” He softly smiles in your direction as he reaches out to touch your face. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go walk around a bit more.”
****
Stopping suddenly, you block their path causing them to run into your back.
“Woah, Y/N. You okay, honey?”, Steve asks as he lets go of Eddie’s hand to check on you.
“Yeah, I just…can we go in here?”
Above your head was a bright colored red neon sign that read “The Naughty Corner” with an arrow that pointed towards a front door that windows on either side were blocked by curtains.
“Of course.”, he grins as he takes your own hand and tugs you in as the metalhead trails behind with a small smile as he watches you both.
As you entered the building, on the other side of the display windows where mannequins dressed in very skimpy lingerie for both men and women. Along the walls and aisles were a plethora of sex toys, outfits, erotic novels, and everything else in between.
“My ex wasn’t very…open minded with this kind of stuff.”
“Is there something in particular you wanted to look at?”, Steve inquired, following your finger when you point towards the teddies and nighties.
“What does Eddie like?”
“He’s really into anything red or black for sure.”, he smirks as his eyes scan over the inventory in front of him.
“And what about you?”
“Um…”, he grins as he chuckles nervously.
“Yeah, Steve, what about you?”, Eddie teases as he wraps you in his arms and you lean against his chest.
“I mean, I like anything really especially if it’s on you.”
A little aw sound escapes your lips and the vampire behind you grins softly when he feels your energy light up at Steve’s compliment.
“What about this here? It has a matching set for a guy and a girl.” Reaching for the black teddy, you display it for him against your body as a heavy sigh of pleasure escapes his lips.
“Oh pretty girl. He likes that one a lot…so do I.”, Eddie whispers in your ear as he lowers his grip to your hips and pulls you flush against him making you lick your lips when you feel his cock press against your ass.
“What about this for him?”, you ask as you hold up the sheer underwear against the other boy’s waist.
“We’ve never…I’ve never…worn anything like that before.”, Steve stutters, trying to control the growing need to take you right here in the store.
“Would you want to?” Your eyes lock with his as they flutter while the vampire’s hands roam along any part of your exposed skin he can find. “I thought…maybe…the next time you stream…I can join and we should be matching. I mean…since we’re both Eddie’s.”
The human boy’s eyes flick towards his boyfriend’s silently asking for permission before the vampire nods. With a wide grin, he kisses your cheek before taking the garments and heading for the counter.
“This is the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time. You calm his mind.”, Eddie reveals tenderly kissing your shoulder. “Even before I changed, he was always on edge; prepared for anything that could happen in our town.”
“With everything you both have told me so far, I’m not surprised. What about you? Do I calm your mind? I’ve honestly never seen you smile as much as you have since I’ve been staying with you.”
The metalhead blinks a couple of times, kissing your body once more before gradually guiding you towards the counter Steve was waiting by.
“You do. You always have. When he and I would talk about you and I could feel you… there was a love there I couldn’t explain so I didn’t. I think… I think I always felt you. When we first got here I remember feeling so protective. I thought it was just over Steve but holding him tightly to me never removed that fear or urge like something was wrong.”
“Then I saw your name pop up on our feed… I told Steve I wanted to talk to InnocentLittleMina.”, he grins when he hears you giggle. “More than anything I wanted to see if he felt something to and he did. Oh, sweetheart, boy did he ever especially when he saw your beautiful face.”
Eddie’s hands suddenly held you tighter to his chest as his tone deepened.
“I felt that protective urge again a few days later and then we saw your face… your lip was busted. I knew. I knew that fucker was hurting you. You said you fell but I knew. My mother used to say shit like that when people would ask what happened to her…” He closed his eyes as he exhaled trying to control himself and only calming when he felt your lips kiss his cheek.
“I wanted to come get you.”, Eddie whispered. “Steve begged me not to. He thought our life would be worse for you.”
“I can understand that to but I’m here now and I’m safe with you two. Right, Daddy?”, you murmur into his ear just as the other man finishes paying.
“That’s right, princess. You’re safe with us.”
##############
“Are you sure you want to do this?”, Steve asks as you both sit on the end of the bed waiting for Eddie to come back from the kitchen.
“Yes, I’m sure. I trust you both.”
“Holy shit.”, the vampire sighs when his eyes land on you both in your lingerie.
Your black teddy was made of the same sheer material as Steve’s but unlike his crotch area, yours was covered. Your breasts were visible under the garment as it hung perfectly from your shoulders. The boy beside you was vulnerable from head to toe with his cock easily seen under the lingerie style underwear you guys had bought, threatening to fall out fabric that was barely big enough to hold him.
“What do you think, Daddy? Do you like it?”, you beamed as you stood to allow him a better view. As Steve did the same, something in Eddie’s demeanor changed as his jaw tightened and his palm adjusted the growing bulge in his pants. “Eddie?”
“I don’t think we should stream tonight.”, he growled, fangs barred whether he was aware of it or not you weren’t sure.
“Eddie, we have to. It’s been a few days plus you need to eat something.”, Steve countered.
“N-No. You are mine. No one should get to see you two like this.”
“Baby—”
“MINE!”, he snarled as his eyes blackened.
Steve pushed you behind him knowing this is what he feared when it came to you; seeing the vampire take over. You don’t know why but he didn’t scare you like this. Maybe it’s because you had seen much scarier things in humans your entire life.
“Y/N, no—“, the human boy warned as you came around him and slowly moved towards the vampire in front of you.
“Everything’s ok, baby. Can…Can you bring Daddy back to us so we can play and feed you?”
“Daddy is right here and you…are…mine.”
“I am, baby. I’ve always been yours remember? Me and Steve. Can you feel us? Can you feel how much we want to please you, Daddy?”
Eddie’s head ticked to the side as his eyes closed and his breathing picked up.
“It’s ok.” Carefully, your hands reached out and he didn’t move when they landed on his shoulders. Gliding them down his arms, you captured his palms in yours and placed them on your sides. “It’s alright, honey. I trust you.”
Glancing towards Steve, your head gestured towards the computer and he quickly ran that way, pressing a button as the cameras came to life.
“Come on, Dracula. It’s time to eat.”
Leading him slowly towards the bed, you sat him down on the side and fell to your knees. Steve watched you cautiously, prepared should he need to step in as you unbuckled the vampire’s pants and slid them down his legs.
“May I suck your cock, please?”
Without saying a word, he nodded his head, groaning when your tongue darted out to lick his slit.
“Come here, Renfield. We need you to.”, you coo causing Steve to shakily sigh as he came to sit beside Eddie.
Taking your lead, he reaches for his boyfriend’s hand and places it on his bulge as he leans in close to the other man’s ear.
“We are yours, honey. Come back to us and take what belongs to you.”
Eddie mewled as he turned to kiss the boy’s lips as you fully descended his length, taking him as far back as you could and then some. When the vampire opened his eyes again, Steve smiles when chocolate-colored irises were reflecting back.
“I’m sorry.”, he whispered. “You both looked so sexy. I just…”
“Lost your mind for a second?”, his partner chuckles.
“Something like that.”, he grins. “Fuck. Come here, baby.” Lifting under your arms, he pulls you on to his lap and kisses your lips. “How about I make it up to you, my good boy.”, he cooed as you continued to kiss down his jawline to his neck. “Do you want to fuck Daddy, sweetheart?”
Eddie’s grin grew when he felt Steve’s dick get harder against his hand.
“Yes, sir. Please.”
“Ok, give me a second.” A giddy giggle leaves you as the vampire takes you fully in his arms and spins around till your back is flat on the bed. Gentle kisses land on your forehead till they find their way to the shell of your ear. “I’m sorry if I scared you, princess.”
“You don’t scare me.”
Kissing your cheek, you feel one of Eddie’s arms rest near your head as the other reaches between your bodies before guiding his cock into your core.
“Fuck, baby girl. So fucking wet already.”, he whines, thrusting slowly into you and allowing you to feel every inch him sliding along your walls. As he groans, you peered over his shoulder, watching as Steve tossed the bottle of lube behind him, and gradually pushed it into his boyfriend’s hole with his fingers.
“Does that feel good, Daddy?”, you whisper as you lean up to kiss his lips.
“So good. My good boy knows how to use his hands.”, he smiles cheekily.
After a few quick pumps, you watch their faces intently as Steve slides into the man in front of him.
“Jesus fucking Christ. Are you fucking kidding me?”, Eddie whimpers as he falls flat on top of you.
“Are you ok?”, you ask, kissing his shoulder when you feel him nod.
“You both feel—shit—so fucking amazing.” Thrusting his hips forward, you groan and the other boy soon follows as the vampire pulls back, pushing into him.
Steve’s soft palms hold your legs open as he steadily picks up his pace causing Eddie to do the same. The metalhead was completely lost in you both, keeping his head beside yours for fear of losing control.
“Go-Go ahead, Daddy. Take what you need.” You can’t help but be startled when he shakes his head. “Baby—”
“Don’t…wanna…hurt…you…”, he hissed through gritted teeth.
“Eddie.”, you whisper low enough so only he can hear. “I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me—mmm—I know. Please, Daddy. I want you to feed from me. I lo-love you.”
When his fangs grazed your skin, he hesitated only for a second before puncturing your flesh and draining your blood. Your fingers clung to his hair while Steve gripped his hips as your eyes rolled shut and he thrust his cock harder into your cunt.
Eddie took over, slamming deep into you, and abusing your g spot over and over while roughing coming back onto his boyfriend’s length at a much faster rhythm.
Your orgasm hit you like a fright train as you screamed and shuddered underneath him.
Something was wrong.
As you began coming down from your high, the room began to spin. He was draining you too quickly.
“R-Ren-Renfield…”, you slurred as you tried to reach for the man’s hand.
His concerned eyes shot your way and he hastily leaned over Eddie’s back, gripping his jaw in his fingers, and pried him off your neck. With hazy vision, you scanned the vampire’s face as his mouth fell open, fangs still bared, and blood tripping down his chin.
The last thing you remember is hearing them grunt and feeling warmth release into your core before everything went black.
############
“Steve? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Steve, baby, wake up!”
The human boy groaned as he rolled to his side and nuzzled his face into the palm that was on his cheek.
“You scared the hell out of me! I thought I killed you.”
Steve’s eyes fully snapped open as he took in his surroundings. They were still in the hotel and still in bed with Eddie now straddling his waist, both hands cupping his face.
“What happened?”
“You passed out after you came. I thought maybe I took too much blood or…”
Shaking his head, he sat up and wrapped his arms around the vampire’s waist which frightened him a bit more. Steve could be clingy after sex but right now he seemed more vulnerable.
“Daddy, I’m hungry.”
“Hey look at me. We’re not playing right now. Are you ok?”
Again, he nodded before falling back against the pillow.
“I should leave. I’m going to end up getting you killed and I won’t allow that.”
As Eddie rose to his feet, Steve fumbled over his own as he did the same and blocked the door with his slightly limp frame.
“Don’t you dare leave me again, Edward Munson!”, he cried. “I already died the day I lost you. Do you really think you accidently draining me too much or some other fucking asshole coming after us is going to be any worse?!”
Steve collapsed to his knees and circled his arms around his boyfriend as he began to sob. Eddie sat beside him and collected the man in his arms, holding him tightly to his chest.
“And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.”
The vampire softly grins when he hears his partner lightly chuckle at his singing.
“When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.”
“Y/N!? Wake up, honey. Come on now.”
“She’s dreaming so she’s not dead.”
Steve flashes him a quizzical look as a tear falls down Eddie’s face before he hears you groan.
“Thank God. Are you alright? What happened? Here try and eat something.”, he coos as he hands you a small bag of cookies.
Nibbling on the treat he gives you, your gaze shifts to the vampire’s glassy eyes.
“It’s ok, Eddie.”
“It’s not but I know you two are going to disagree so…”, he responds sarcastically.
“I agree with Steve. After everything I’ve been through nothing you do could be any worse. I’m not afraid of—”
Eddie laughs, cutting you off as he stands and turns to face you both.
“You should be! I’m not a good guy, sweetheart. Not anymore and even he knows that.”, he shouts as he points to his boyfriend. “These are the risks of loving me. Steve was right. We never should have brought you here. Just…get dressed and he’ll take you home.”
“No.”
His brown eyes narrowed down at you as he squared his shoulders.
“Say that again, little girl. Because I don’t think I heard you right.”
“I said no.”
“Eddie—”
“Sit. DOWN.”, he commanded in a deep voice that Steve immediately listened to. As soon as he turned his attention back to you, your palm collided with his cheek. Because you were weak after him feeding from you it wasn’t very hard but it was enough for him to rear his head back and have his now black eyes penetrating yours.
“Eddie, my entire life has been loaded with bad people…especially guys.” You knew he couldn’t see your memories like you could with his but he could feel them. Concentrating hard, you ran through all the worst relationships you had in your life knowing he’d feel them and your emotions. He flinched, cringing away from you as he felt all your fear, pain, and devastation course through his veins. “I know you’re a good guy because everything you just felt… I’ve never felt that with you or Steve. When I say I trust you, I mean it. I’ve met monsters and you aren’t one.”
Becoming dizzy again, you started to fall but Eddie hastily caught you and placed you on the bed. The wind blew around you both before he returned with a bottle of water, delicately holding the back of your head as you tipped it back and allowed the liquid to fall into your mouth.
Once you finish, you lean your head onto Steve’s shoulder and in the blink of an eye the metalhead is gone.
"Are you alright, honey?”
“Yeah, just heavy.”
“Finish eating this here and then I’ll clean you up so you can go to sleep.” His eyes follow your own as they look towards the door. “Yeah, that’s not new for him. That particular argument we’ve had a few times especially when he accidently goes too far. He’ll be ok though, baby. I promise.”
Once you finish the bag of treats, Steve takes you into his arms and brings you to bathroom. His beautiful honey orbs focus on the task at hand making you smile as you watch him work.
“Y/N? May I ask you something? What did you ‘show’ him?”
“Monsters.”, you sigh. “My mom screaming at me while she was drunk calling me a whore at 10. My boyfriend I mentioned from the beach burning me with cigarettes because I ‘wasn’t listening’. John hurting me before Eddie saved me…”
Steve’s fingers gently caress your cheek before leaning forward to softly kiss your lips. Once you both were clean, he wrapped you up in one of the metalhead’s shirts making you beam.
“Hellfire?”
“His nerdy D&D club in high school.”, he answered, laying you under the covers and crawling in beside you. “Y/N, if anyone understands what you’ve been through it’s him. Eddie’s dad was awful. Of course, he’s nothing like him but I think when he slips like this he feels he’s living up to the Munson name. I told him that’s not true but, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, he’s stubborn. Maybe now that you’re here…maybe he’ll finally start believing it.”
Curling up into his chest, you both wrapped your arms around each other as you fell asleep. A little before dawn, you stirred to a familiar wind whipping through your hair. The bed behind you dipped and you listened to what sounded like someone sucking their thumb before the appendage carefully ran along the wound on your neck.
Any ache or pain you had been experiencing from his bite suddenly disappeared and his thumb was replaced with his hand delicately petting your head, moving your hair away from your face.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”, Eddie whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry. This will never happen again. I promise I’ll be more careful. I…I hate the vampire so much sometimes. When he pushes forward…he’s so hard to reign in. You both deserve so much better. I promise I’ll do whatever I can, baby.”
After lifting Steve’s arm and pulling it over his waist as well, the metalhead pressed his body against yours, grinning when you intertwined your fingers with his and brought his hand closer to your chest.
############
“Uh, boys?” Hearing the concern in your tone, Steve grabbed a chair and placed it beside where you were sitting at the computer. “We may have a problem.”
“Oh, fun.”, Eddie teases as he stands behind you both with his arms crossed.
“I’m not quite sure how to say this so I’m just going to. Your site is gone.”
“What do you mean our site is gone?”
“I mean, I came over here to look at things and do my job but when I went to your site it’s not coming up.” They carefully watched as your fingers flew across the keyboard in front of you. “I did some research to see if maybe there was an outage or something and…”
You pull up an article with a grainy video pasted near the top and press play.
“While we are still unable to find the exact source of the feed from these people known only as ‘Dracula’ and ‘Renfield’, we were able to intercept their traffic this morning and remove the site from the internet.”
“Is this permanent?”, a reporter asked.
“Uh, no. I imagine that it won’t be hard for them to get up and running again but now that we know how to remove them I’m sure we can find them and do it again.”
“Find them virtually right? Because you still don’t have a lock on their identities?”, another reporter cut in.
“That is correct. We do, however, have a whole team working to find them. While the footage isn’t 100% clear, we’re working on ways to grab anything we can to pinpoint who they are so we can stop this sadistic material once and for all.”
“Oh, Harrington, they have a team.”
“Eddie, stop. This is serious. Shit… if I had known about this I wouldn’t have let you stream with us last night, Y/N.”
“I moderate your site to, Steve. Depending on what they’re looking for they can probably find my footprints in your system.”
“Nerd.”
You giggle at the metalhead’s joke but the other boy wasn’t amused, concentrating hard on the monitor in front of him.
“Do you think Henderson is free?”
“Even if he’s not you know he’ll come here to help.”
“Who is this?”, you ask.
“Our friend. Ok, he’ll be asleep right now but I’ll call him in the morning before he heads to school.”
Eddie smiles as he sits on Steve’s lap and obnoxiously ruffles his hair.
“We’ll be fine, babe. You worry to much. He’s taken care of us for two years; he’ll do it again.”
################
@chelebelletx @mandyjo8719 @nailbatanddungeon
#steddie x reader#steddie fluff#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie fanfic#eddie stranger things#steve fanfic#steve smut#steve stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#stranger things#fan fiction#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steve fluff#dom!eddie munson#sub steve harrington#sub reader#vampire eddie munson#vampire eddie x reader#vampire eddie x steve#camboy steddie#stranger things au
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NEW ROMANTICS || PARK SEONGHWA PT.2
Pt1 | Pt2 | Pt3
Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst
Pairing: Seonghwa x Fem Reader
Word Count: 2.7K
Tags/warnings: Strangers to lovers AU, Readers name is Julie, Trauma concerning parents/fights/abandonment/alcohol, anxiety, starting a new life, lack of self-love, making out, seonghwa has a massive thing for her boobs, fingering, squirting, dirty talk, blowjob, throatfucking, family death
Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @wh0re4yunsangho @vesvosmozhno
ENJOY!
Lola was right, it was time to give it a try again. Maybe he would be your romeo, so what did you have to lose? You found yourself standing in front of his house, hesistant to ring the doorbell. You sighed deeply but then finally rang it.
Seonghwa opened the door and smiled widely, dressed in a linnen shirt and classy slacks he looked like a perfect summer snack. He had asked you to come to his place for pasta and wine and you were happy to agree. There was still no literal confirmation but Priya had assured you that these meetings were all very date-like. ''Hi, beautiful,'' he smiled as he welcomed you into his house. You smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. ''Hey Romeo,'' you said without thinking. He laughed loudly, ''Romeo? I kinda like that. Because you're Juliette.'' ''That's kinda stating the obvious, but yes,'' you laughed, ''Lola came up with that, my sister.'' He nodded, ''Yeah, I remember her name.''
Soon enough you were seated at the dining table eating delicious pasta that Seonghwa made himself. He seemed to be an amazing chef which works in your favor because you sure as hell sucked at it.
Somehow you landed on the topics of relationships and it did not take long before you got to the topic of your ex being in bed with your best friend. ''So, that is how I ended up with severe... trust issues when it comes to relationships. But I'm getting help, I'm talking about it,'' you sighed. Seonghwa listened intently as he drank his wine. ''What a jerk... I don't understand how people can hurt the ones they love so much...'' ''Right,'' you nodded.
''So,'' you spoke to shift the conversation, ''How's the dating scene here? There are a lot of young people, you must've had quite a few girlfriends.'' Seonghwa shook his head, to your surprise. ''No,'' he stated after swallowing his pasta, ''Well, the dating scene is very wild indeed around here, but I've never had a girlfriend before.'' Even though you were the one asking, his confession felt sudden.
''Really?'' You asked. ''Truly. It's on me, though, I'm the problem.'' You frowned. ''How come? You're so kind and you've got beauty to die for... What is the problem?'' You ask, taking the glass of wine in your hand and drinking from it. ''I struggle with self-love so... I self-sabotage before I can even really give myself to the person I'm dating. So I always cut it off early... I don't think I deserve love so I won't let myself have it.''
It was silent for a moment, and then Seonghwa realized what he just said. Panic showed in his eyes and he nearly suffocated in the wine he just sipped. ''No. No, wait, I'm trying to break the curse I put upon myself. I do not want to cut this off. That's not what I am planning on doing. Fuck,'' he cursed. ''It's okay... I understand, Seonghwa,'' you said, placing your hand on top of his. Some sort of electricity or spark ran through the two of you and he seemed to feel it too because his eyes softened for you.
You figured not everything is what it seems. Sometimes people seem happy and they seem to not have any issues but that's not true. Everyone has issues of their own, be it with family, friends, the world or themselves. This was a good lesson for you not to judge by someone's happy, bright cover, because this can be a cover-up of the sadness inside the other.
''What's not to love, Seonghwa? You're beautiful, and you're beautiful on the inside as well, you have been really making me feel better... You deserve to feel better too. Everyone deserves love, so you do too.'' Seonghwa struggled to hold in the tears welling up in his eyes. ''I just... Want to fix it. I want to fix myself. I want to be able to look at myself and think I'm worthy of love. That I deserve someone taking care of me.''
''Let me take care of you, then,'' you whispered. You looked into each others' eyes once again and before you knew it he leaned over the table and reached for your face. Cupping your cheek in his hand he passionately kissed you, a silent tear rolling from the outer corner of his eye. Your hands ran through his hair as you deepened the kiss, slowly standing up without breaking it off. You slowly got on the table, sitting on your knees as Seonghwa was still standing before you. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you moaned into his mouth when his hands roamed your ass, squeezing it slightly.
Seonghwa broke off the kiss and kissed your neck before lifting you off the table. Your legs wrapped around his waist and you kissed him again when he pushed you against the wall. He was stronger than you expected, but to be fair he had told you he's trying to work out more often to become stronger. Hard work clearly pays off.
You soon reached his bedroom and your dress was pushed up, his hair was disheveled, hands roaming over each others' bodies as you laid on top of him. Your lips plump and his hands cupping your breasts as you sat on his lap. You whimpered softly when he pulled the top of your dress and your bra down together. He sat up and grazed his lips against the soft skin of your bare breasts. Seonghwa's long tongue escaped his mouth and it swirled around your right nipple. He then slowly and gently bit down on the sensitive nub, making you whine his name and making your pussy throb.
''You are so beautiful, my Julie,'' he whispered. The look of him sucking on your tits right beneath you was astonishing and breathtaking at the same time. ''Seonghwa,'' you moaned, throwing your head back. His hand slipped under the skirt of your dress and into your delicate panties. He rubbed his fingers over your folds, wet and slick with arousal. Two of his fingers slid through your folds and halted when you hissed at the feeling of his fingertips brushing alongside your clit.
Seonghwa circled his fingers on your clit as he kept sucking and licking your breasts. ''Fuckin' goddess,'' he cursed as he heard you moan his name as he picked up the pace. ''Oh God,'' you moaned once more, ''I'm yours, Hwa, please make me yours, wanna feel you tonight, wanna feel you all night, please,'' you begged him, even though you know you wouldn't have to. He would give you whatever you wanted in a heartbeat. ''Of course my love, I got you, I'll make you feel so good and treat you so well, I've got you.''
His two fingers slid into your awaiting hole that sucked them right in. Immediately you clenched around him and he smirked as he kept latching onto your chest. ''Please,'' you moaned. ''What is it, precious?'' he asked as he moved his fingers deeper inside you. They were so long and he just needed the right instructions to hit the right spots hidden inside you.
You lifted the dress over your body and discarded the bra as well, showing your body as you slightly leaned back. ''Move faster, harder,'' you moaned. Seonghwa nodded and obeyed, thrusting his fingers into your cunt at a faster pace. The sounds of your squelching wetness were like fuel to his flame.
''Curl them a little, j-just slightly to- Oh!'' You cried out. Seonghwa listened carefully to your voice and bodylanguage and was quick to pick up on what you want. Even though he never had a real girlfriend he was surely skilled enough on this. Your breathing picked up and your chest heaved up and down as you felt your orgasm come closer. ''Gonna come on my fingers for me, aren't you? Go ahead, Julie, Baby, Come for me, give it to me, my fuckin' angel,'' he cursed underneath his breath.
With a single thrust you felt yourself coming undone, a shock waving through you. Your arousal gushed out of you and leaked all over Seonghwa's hands and lap. Your body shook and shivered as Seonghwa rode you through your orgasm. You slowly calmed down and looked at the mess you made of him, but Seonghwa didn't mind. A big smirk was plastered on his face.
You got off him and gave him the time to undress fully. He was a bit shy about taking his underwear off at first but when you reassured him he'd be fine he pulled it down, showing off his rigid cock. Your mouth watered and you told him to sit on the edge of the bed. You got on your knees in front of him and you parted his legs. You licked a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, where you swirled your tongue around it, gathering some of the pre-cum that was leaking from it.
You took more into your mouth and started to bob your head up and down, but so teasingly slow that Seonghwa felt he would go insane at any given moment now. ''Please,'' he whined softly, bucking his hips up slightly. You opened your mouth wider for him and you encouraged him to buck his hips up again. Nervously he did so, hitting the back of your throat. When you didn't pull away he did it again and again, until he was fucking your throat, hearing you moaning and choking around his dick. ''H-Holy fuck, Jules... Oh my God,'' he moaned as he got rougher with it. His hands ran through his hair and his head was thrown back, which was truly a sight to behold. Sadly he stopped himself before he could cum.
Seonghwa guided you back onto the bed and laid you down. ''Was that okay?'' he asked inbetween neck-kisses. ''Yes, very much,'' you assured him, before you let him continue. ''Wanna be inside you so bad, Julie,'' he moaned as his cock rutted against your thigh. ''Then put it in, fuck me, Hwa,'' you spoke. Your eyes locked again and you nodded, spreading your legs for him and giving him a perfect view of your soaking cunt. ''Raw? I have condoms though.'' You shook your head and wrapped your hand around his cock to slowly guide it into your hole. You whimpered when he pushed it in, the stretch stinging you.
He slowly rocked into you, slowly pulling out and pushing in again. When he picked up the pace your eyes rolled back and moans spilled out. ''S-Seonghwa, fuck, please, fuck me harder, fuck me harder,'' you cried out. Make me forget, you almost said.
His thrusts never faltered or got weak, they stayed steady until you told him you were getting close. He had embraced you, holding you so tight and he grinded into you so deeply it caused friction on your clit. You felt yourself tense up and then release with a loud moan. Seonghwa was quick to pull out and he came over your pelvis. He panted softly before licking his own cum off your body. ''Hwa,'' you called out softly. He laid next to you and held you close. Your eyes went shut when you laid your head on his chest, taking deep breaths. It had been so long since you gave yourself to someone like this. But he was worth it, wasn't he?
•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•
It's been about two weeks since you and Seonghwa have been sleeping together and there hasn't been a day you haven't had sex with him yet. Every single day you showed up at his door again and it would be only a matter of time before you're back in his bed, riding his cock until you couldn't anymore.
Honestly, you were afraid to talk to him. Because if you started talking it'd mean talking about how your father abandoned his family to start a new one and it'd also mean talking about your alcoholic mother failing her rehab. When you joked about it to your friends they looked rather worried than amused. ''Julie, babe, this isn't a very good sign. You haven't told him any personal stuff? Anything?'' Mona asks. ''Well... No. He'd find out I'm fucked up. We're doing fine right now.''
Mimi sighed. ''Julie, one day that will explode. You can't just keep on having sex 24/7 and leave it at that. That's not a relationship. Plus, he told you about something he struggled with, right? Why can't you talk to him about stuff? Believe me, if you bottle stuff up too long you'll burst, I've been there.''
You sighed and finished your cup of coffee. ''I just don't know how to talk and not lose someone.'' ''Well, you will not lose us over it, why don't you share your story with us? We can all share our stories, right?'' Priya said, to which all the girls agreed. Here goes nothing then.
•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•⑅♡⑅•
Talking to the girls had helped you more than you thought it would. ''Duh,'' Lola had said to you, who had been telling you to open up more since forever. She suggested you take him on a date and have a calm and relaxed conversation with him.
So now you were walking hand in hand with Seonghwa as you made your way to the beach. Seonghwa's hand slightly squeezed yours a little more as he stepped foot into the sand, but you did not think much of it. You laid down a big blanket and sat down on it. It was very quiet at the beach, which was usually strange for a July evening, but there was a festival going on in town so that's where everyone was now. You and Seonghwa both did not really care for it though, so you could have your date without being bothered.
Seonghwa shifted a lot while he was sitting down, trying to find a comfortable spot. ''Have you been well? Did you eat?'' you smiled. ''Yeah,'' he answered. You were taken aback by his short answer, but decided you should not think much of it. You pulled two bottles of soda and a bag of chips out of your bag and put them on the blanket so he could start on those anytime he wanted to. But he wasn't truly here, somehow. He wasn't present, he just stared into the sea. Your heart sank a little, thinking he must be disappointed you're not giving him sex right now, or maybe he's bored of you? You shook your head and just put on some soft music to relax yourself.
You tried to talk to him but Seonghwa didn't say much, even when he was telling you a story he was far less enthusiastic or detailed as he usually is. It must be you. He must be tired of you by now, or he doesn't like the date. What are you doing wrong? You hated it but tears welled in your eyes and when Seonghwa noticed his expression softened. ''Julie..? Hey... Why are you... Don't cry, please,'' he whispered as he wiped a tear from your cheek. It didn't help because the tears kept on pouring.
''What am I doing wrong?'' you sniffled. ''What? You are not doing anything wrong, darling, why would you think that?'' You looked at him and frowned. ''Why would I think that? Well maybe because you've been acting like you're annoyed, irritated and unbothered the entire night. Cutting me off, short responses, awkward bodylanguage. If I'm being annoying or I'm doing something bad please just tell me because I can't deal with you acting like-''
''I'm sorry.''
You shut up and looked him in the eyes as tears continued to fall down your cheek. ''It's not you, darling, it's me. And it is this place.'' This place? ''I thought I'd show you a place I love. I... I really love the sea and the beach because it's the only place my family had true happiness. It's where I feel calm and... Where I can be me...'' you spoke softly.
''I appreciate that... you wanted to show me a part of you. But this place is the scenery of the darkest day in my life.'' ''You're not gonna tell me your dog drowned here, right?'' you said, throwing in a little dark humor, but it wasn't the right time because Seonghwa looked you dead in the eye.
''No,'' he spoke, while looking back at the sea, ''It's my sister.''
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