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holdmytesseract · 2 days

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I... I-I... WHAT? 😭

Nothing mattered to you anymore. You were willing to die in her place if it meant saving Loki. You only hoped she didn’t bullshit you all. Only Sylvie would manage to make YOUR sacrifice worthless.

AHHHH! 😱

She made no sounds, no gasps, no cries of revenge. Her eyes didn’t even widen in surprise. As Loki cradled you in his arms while you wept, Sylvie’s face fell only slightly. She looked almost dignified and resigned as she was sucked out into the time vortex, gone from sight before anything could be done to fetch her.

Fuck. F U C K.

The Time Lord’s face fell as his hearts broke. You could hear him speak the words that you knew he only said when all chances of a happy ending were lost:

I can literally hear those words and I am downright crying. 😭

Goooods, please tell me there's still a way out of this. 😭

"Time & the Trickster" a Loki/Doctor Who crossover

Chapter 14: Sylvie's Choice

It's your stubbornness against Sylvie's to determine who will fix the timelines and sit on the golden throne. Who's will is stronger? A single, difficult choice will decide everyone's fate.

CHAPTER WARNING (18+): Reader is in peril, violence

Previous Chapter · Next Chapter MASTERLIST

Sylvie gave an incredulous look, as if to say “you’re kidding, right?”

Loki looked at you and The Doctor, who were taking up exaggerated, almost heroic positions upon bursting in. Hey, it wasn’t easy to avoid getting caught up in the adventure with The Doctor next to you. Even in this most precarious moment, he brought out the thrill of it. His energy was infectious.

You looked pretty hot. Loki took note.

Smiling, you laughed. “You didn’t expect me to be so pissed off, did you?”

Your adversary blinked. “I never expected anything less.”

“Good. So you know better. Now drop your stone before I drop your ass!”

“I’ve made my stand!” barked Sylvie.

“Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” said The Doctor. He and Loki moved together to get in between the two of you, Loki facing you and The Doctor turning to Sylvie. “We can figure this out, Sylvie, but we don’t need this to become violent!”

“How so? You all want me to give up an entire lifetime of running, hiding, and fighting,” she bemoaned. “After all this time…trying to prove myself…”

She lowered the hand that held her dagger, dropping it at her feet. She wasn’t surrendering, you could see she was beginning to run through her life as it began flashing before her eyes.

“...you never saw me as anything but the bad girl,” she said with genuine woe. You were not moved, but of course Loki was, to your dismay.

“We’re all misunderstood. It’s one of the things that binds us together as Lokis,” he said, both Loki and The Doctor moving around so he could address her while The Doctor began whispering to you.

“I will open the basin, but don't look inside. I can’t promise your brain won’t melt,” he instructed, the gross visual making you cringe. “You need to either find an opening for Loki to toss his, or trick Sylvie into throwing hers.”

“I won’t go,” Sylvie said again. “No. I owe nothing to any of you.”

The TARDIS shook. You yelped in surprise. Yes, you fucking do! you thought.

“Sylvie, a true Loki adapts! You’ve done some astounding things with what you were given, but when a Loki is beaten, if there is nothing else to be done…they think. They strategize! They don’t run at the fire with flying fists. When there is nothing more to be done, a Loki accepts the Fates’ answer.”

His speech melted your heart. You knew this version of him was never imprisoned in his father’s dungeons or fought the Dark Elves, and the only reason Loki needed to escape with Thor from Sakaar was due to a stupid hitchhiking mistake they’d made many eons ago as youths. Yet both times, Loki had proven himself a full Prince and a full warrior. Sylvie would have turned over Jane Foster. She would have never helped Thor escape. It was unfair that it was this difficult to ensure his happy ending. If reality were fair and equal, Sylvie would already be ensnared in the Tree of Life. Perhaps there was a timeline where it was so.

“Then do it yourself!” Sylvie replied. “Accept your fate!”

“We’re both Loki! It belongs to both of us!”

You made sure Sylvie’s shitty stone was in your fingers, ready to press into her hand. The Doctor motioned to you silently that he was going to make a break for the basin. You nodded. He quickly turned around and began working his charismatic magic over the Asgardians.

“Well, us Lokis need to stick together right? And from where I stand, we’re all about to get crushed under the weight of a collapsing timeline down here, so let’s move things along, shall we?”

He bolted over to the vortex basin, shoving his fingers under the crack and yanking with all of his strength. You ran over to help him when it looked like he wasn’t able to do so on his own, but once he grounded his feet, it wasn’t so difficult to open the time vortex.

The room was instantly flooded with bright yellow light coming from the beacon in the middle.

“Loki, move!” You demanded, darting under his arm and throwing yourself at Sylvie. Loki made an attempt to hold you back, but you slipped right through him, lunging at her and knocking her to the floor.

The two of you wrestled on the ground, neither of you having any sort of form. As a result, you were two people fighting, just trying to pin the other one down. Sylvie kept flailing, her arms and hands moving too quickly for you to have access to her skin to press against the stone.

You felt a painful blow just under your ribs as Sylvie got in a good kick, which sent you rolling across the floor several feet, near the foot of the vortex basin. The Doctor stepped back to keep out of your way. Scrambling to your feet, you and Sylvie ran at each other again, but the pain in your side was sharp, and you realized that her hit was going to make it more difficult for you to overpower her.

“Loki! Help me!” you cried.

You heard a laugh. It was actually Loki from behind you. He held the brighter stone in the handkerchief, posed to use it as a slingshot. “Did you all forget for a moment that I had one too? We do tend to complicate things a bit, don’t we?”

Sylvie’s face fell as Loki fired. The beaming green stone made a clear arc over your heads. Sylvie, who was somewhat petite compared to even you, tried to reach for it, missing widely. It moved in slow motion; your eyes traced it by the comet-tail-like streak it left as it fell behind Sylvie and into the vortex.

The TARDIS lurched, then took a big, healthy deep breath. The Doctor grinned joyously, his ship fully alive again. “She’s starting to move toward the DVD!”

“TVA!” shouted Loki.

“Remember: do not look into the time vortex! I have to get to the console! I’ll be back once I make sure we’re locked onto the coordinates!” The Doctor fled the room at top-speed, which for his tall, limber frame was quite fast.

Sylvie, beaten and realizing that she had very few cards left in her hand, attacked you.

“STOP! Sylvie, NO!” Loki implored as she attempted to hurl herself onto your back. You’d adjusted your center of balance, and the sudden added weight toppled you both, you landing on top of her. In the moment, your animalistic defenses took over. You no longer could identify who she was or what she was hoping to accomplish, You needed to survive. You needed to keep her at bay long enough for you to reach your destination.

The dagger wasn’t on her person, so Sylvie relied on her strength to attempt to subdue you. Your pent-up rage was your biggest weapon, and it gave you the adrenaline to keep going. You threw yourself off of Sylvie, kicking her stomach with your toe. It had only some effect. She was harder than you thought.

On your feet, Sylvie got up and lunged for your throat without missing a beat. You moved out of the way so that she missed your neck, but she latched onto your arm instead, pulling you toward the bright, open basin. It was all you could do to avoid looking inside.

The momentum Sylvie brought with her charge threw you back against the basin rim. Loki was finally able to find an opening in an attempt to get between the two of you, but just as he dove forward, the most violent lurch yet happened.

You were suddenly aware of the sensation of tumbling as both you and your attacker tumbled over the side of the rim. Your heart nearly exploded in an immediate surge of adrenaline, which thankfully gave you the quick reflexes to grab onto the side. Sylvie had also managed to grapple the rail with both hands.

The ship wouldn’t stop shaking. There was no way Loki could pull you both back before one of you fell. You knew what had to happen.

You looked resentfully at Sylvie. You mumbled in a voice that only you could hear, “I so would have loved to mount your head over my mantle, Sylvie. Fuck you. Fuck you forever.”

Finally making peace, you lifted your head, beginning to feel your palms grease over with nervous sweat. It was time to say goodbye. You were surprised at how resigned you felt. It was, after all, for Loki’s sake. Who better to die for?

Loki leaned over the basin, looking back and forth between you and Sylvie to avoid looking directly into the vortex. The quandary was not lost on him. He looked almost ready to die himself at the impossible choice before him.

“SAVE HER!” you shouted. “WITHOUT HER YOU’LL NEVER BE FREE!”

Nothing mattered to you anymore. You were willing to die in her place if it meant saving Loki. You only hoped she didn’t bullshit you all. Only Sylvie would manage to make YOUR sacrifice worthless.

“It’s okay, Loki,” you said, the tears being pulled from your eyes into the chasm under you. “I mean it. Let me go.”

Just then, the TARDIS lurched again, and the gravity within the room shifted enough that yours and Sylvie’s grips were both ripped away from the rim at the same time, leaving you both hovering for a final, terminal moment as Loki made his choice.

He threw the upper half of his body over the side just in time to snatch your hands back, keeping you from falling away. Using every desperate ounce of his superior strength, he hoisted you back over to relative safety as Sylvie went into freefall.

The TARDIS’ shivers and quakes stopped, and it began careening as it normally would on any given adventure. The Doctor had made his way back to the console and was steering the ship successfully, putting it into autopilot so that it would continue to follow the time stone back to the TVA.

The basin slammed shut as the time machine stabilized. Once you realized what had happened, you pulled yourself out of Loki’s arms, hysterical. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?” you shrieked, slapping him hard across his cheek.

He brought a hand up to the reddening skin on his face. You punched him twice in each shoulder. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCKING IDIOT?!”

He gripped your shoulders so tightly you could move, only look into his eyes for his answer. “Without you I’ll never be free.”

Your jaw dropped. He tapped the tarot pendant still around your neck after all these weeks. “I could have had a free man’s life with her…but I can only have hope with you, my star.”

You grunted, not having any of it. Loki allowed you to continue hitting him as you let out all of your rage. Sylvie had died, and yet she had somehow still won. Without her around to absorb your blows, there was only one who could.

“I hate you! I hate you!” you screamed, continuing to lose yourself to grief as Loki sat before you, graciously accepting every blow. “I fucking hate you! You’re so stupid, Loki!”

The Doctor pranced back into the chamber, unaware of anything that had happened since Loki cast the stone into the vortex.

“We should be there in about ten minutes! Everything seems to be moving now--”

He stopped suddenly, understanding what had just transpired the moment he saw Loki rocking you back and forth as your sobs were reaching a zenith. It was all your doomed love could do to offer his arms for you to bury your face in. He turned his head toward The Doctor, silently telling him everything.

The Time Lord’s face fell as his hearts broke. You could hear him speak the words that you knew he only said when all chances of a happy ending were lost:

“Oh Loki….I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.”

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @kkdvkyya @red-shirt-mania @misschris1412 @salvinaa @marygoddessofmischief @spiderstyles04 @fireflymoonwitch @mochie85 @loz-3 @lcolumbia1988 @lokilurker @eleniblue @gruftiela @starkzdaughter @mrsbarnes-avenger @thedistractedagglomeration @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @holdmytesseract @itsthattimedarling @wolfsmom1 @scully2u @shinisenko @mischief2sarawr @ririsutty73 @lulubelle814 @meg81589 @gloriuspurposeposts @theonetruepotato87 @linllewellyn @wistfulclueless @etherealkistar @tinydancer40 @hardtravelerwizard-blog @fangirlofmanysstuff @krabog @soulpiercing @archivelaurarps @banjo-bastard

#loki #mcu loki #loki fanfiction #loki x reader

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holdmytesseract · 2 days

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Greetings, bestie. In anticipation for The Tortured Poets Department coming, what is/are the song/s you're most excited/anxious to hear? 👀🫡

Henlo, bestie! 🤗

Ooo, that's a very good question... I'm definitely SUPER excited! 😍

I think I'm most excited for The Alchemy, Guilty as Sin? and Down Bad.

Most anxious... Probably So Long, London and I Can Do It With a Broken Heart.

What about you, bestie? 🤗

#taylor swift #taylornation #swifties #taylor asks #the tortured poets department

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holdmytesseract · 2 days

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Everybody go read this! @mochie85 deserves all the love and support! 💚 And her writing is phenomenal! 🥰

House of Cards

These Wicked Games Collections | Complete Masterlist

Summary: You and Loki finally confront each other about your feelings and what went wrong. Suggested Song: "Fantasy" by The Driver Era Word Count: 2.9K Pairing: Loki x Female Reader Warnings: Smut. Dominating/Controlling Loki, Angry sex, rough sex.

Loki’s room was dark and humid. Thick waves of moisture rolled to you from his en suite, bringing with it the scent of his soap and aftershave. He must have taken a shower moments before movie night, you mused to yourself.

As the latch on his door clicked closed, the fireplace roared to life startling you. The heat from the fire only made his scent grow deep and heady. Warm yellow light canvased the room. You followed the flicker of the flames as your eyes took in Loki’s private chambers.

There you were…alone in his room. His sanctuary. A rare opportunity to sneak around and find out more about the intimidating god of mischief. Nothing had changed since that fateful night when you challenged him to Blackjack. That following morning, you were too hurt and busy trying to get out of the mortifying situation you walked yourself into to appreciate anything else.

His desk sat in the middle of the room, facing his bed. A house of cards was meticulously crafted on top— an elaborate pyramid of angles and shapes. Some cards, magically teetering on their corners. You had forgotten your deck that night, in a hurry to leave and lick your wounds from Loki’s casual opinion of your relationship with each other.

You reached out to take one— a discarded card lying on the bottom layer. You focused on the filigree and the cherub on the back cover, greeting you back.

“I thought I told you to wait for me on my bed?” His deep voice froze your movements, squeezing the air from your lungs. You turned quickly to find Loki, already closing the final steps to you.

“Loki, I-” He didn’t let you finish as he seized your lips and invaded your senses once again. His fingers laced themselves in your hair. His other hand pulled your shirt off from behind, popping your buttons, and exposing your breasts that were already spilling over your bra from his groping earlier.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, hoping to melt with him. You needed him closer. You needed his every being to get reacquainted with you. God, it's been so long.

His kiss was never-ending. He didn’t let you catch your breath, stealing your mouth every time you moved to inhale. His lips were so ravenous and demanding that it almost hurt. “…Loki…” you whined.

At long last, his fingers pulled your hair and brought your face up to meet his eyes. “You never do as you’re told, do you, darling? You never listen. Always worried about letting people inside.” His fist in your hair got tighter. His breath was hot and sweet; trying to hold back an emotion you had yet to work out. “Is that why you perfected your poker face? To hide the lies underneath?”

“What lies?!” you asked insulted and slightly afraid. “You lied to me! You used me just to play some game! Toying with me! Just entertainment for the night!” You tried to push him back, but his body was hard and unyielding. You pounded on his chest, trying to get away. But he trapped you in his arms and he wouldn’t let you go.

“You don’t listen! I have already told you, and yet you still pay no heed to my words! Do you even know how the last two weeks have been for me?” he said with a cold glare. “Torture! The moment you walked out of my bed, I started doubting myself. I started doubting you! I never thought you of all people would play me for a game like you do with your cards and tricks.”

He was furious! You had no idea how this would go, where Loki was going with his discourse. You knew Loki would never hurt you intentionally, but the look in his eyes was undoubtedly anger and pain. Not knowing terrified you and it also sent a thrill down your spine.

You had hurt him. You can see that now. He was affected as much as you were that night. You could see it in the unshed glimmer in his eyes. “You do care about me,” you realized.

“And what made you think I didn’t?” he demanded. His hold on you tightened. To be in his arms and to know that he was holding back so much of his godly strength. It hurt to almost breathe in his presence. But that was nothing compared to the guilt you felt inside. It hurt to know that you had assumed the worst of him and failed to communicate what you wanted. That you had missed out on two glorious weeks of being with him.

“You said you liked playing games. The way everything unfolded…I- I didn’t know what to think. I had no idea you even looked at me that way! And in mere hours I was splayed like a toy for you in your bed, Loki! What was I supposed to think?! How was I to know that I wasn’t just another conquest for you? That your confession was true?” you yelled back at him.

“Does this feel untrue to you!” he bucked his hips to yours, pushing you against his desk. You let out a carnal moan as you felt the length of him rub against your awaiting clit- throbbing to feel more of him, to be closer to him. The pyramid shook slightly behind you but remained standing. “Perhaps, you need a little reminder…” he growled as he kissed your lips boldly.

Blurring colors started to form and solidify in your head. Memories took shape as if they were tangible moving pictures.

~Loki growled. His fervor and desire ruling all rational thought. “I love that you’re intelligent,” he said as he flattened out his tongue and lapped the juices flowing from your cunt. “…Loki…” “I love how clever you are.” He said giving your sensitive clit a soft kiss. “I love how you’re willing to play my games.” He laughed as he kissed his way up your stomach. He knelt up on the bed, towering over your lustful figure beneath him. His eyes were wild taking in your heavy breathing, your glowing skin, and how utterly besotted you were when you looked at him. Your eyes were hooded and pleading, missing his tongue. Your mouth was open, ready to beg him to continue. “And by the Norns, you look absolutely sinful laying on my bed the way you are now.” He lined his hard cock at your entrance and slammed his way inside your tight folds.~

You felt him thrust towards your aching cunt, as if he was reliving the memory himself. The heavy force of his illusion pushed you back into reality. The house of cards gave way and fell behind you in one fell swoosh.

“You love me,” you whispered to yourself. Tears brimmed your lids as you looked at the truth in his eyes. The realization was heavy and thick; along with the guilt of invalidating his feelings.

Loki closed his eyes as he leaned in to rest his head on yours. He took a deep breath, relieved you had finally understood what he was trying to convey. Your fingers brushed through his silken hair, pulling him closer. Your lips apologized for you as you assailed his beautiful face with kisses. Softly, one after another. His fervid cheeks. His troubled eyes. His sharp chin. He felt each kiss as a prayer of penance asking for his forgiveness.

Your velvet lips turned into passionate kisses the more you held him. Loki returned your fervor with as much desire, if not more. How long has he waited for this? Dreamt of this? Wondering if he’d ever get the chance to kiss you again like this.

He had already granted you his pardon- earlier tonight when you had confessed that you imagined kissing him instead of Rogers. Perhaps even earlier than that, when you sat down on his lap and acknowledged his presence, finally, after weeks of disaffection. You had his forgiveness, but not his mercy.

“Loki, I need you. Please,” you begged. You started to unbutton his shirt, your fingernails nicking and scratching at his creamy skin in haste. “Make love to me,” you whined, wanting to compensate for lost time.

He licked his lips and savored your words. “Oh no, pet,” he chuckled darkly. “Only good girls get made love to...” Loki pushed your shoulders down, laying you on his desk. Your eyes widened in shock as your hair flowed around you, weaving with the cards of the fallen castle. He pulled your legs forward, bringing your hips flushed with his hard cock. “…Bad girls get fucked!”

You took a sharp intake of air as his words rattled your nerves. You heard the zip of his pants as his hands held you down on his desk. He nudged the wet gusset of your panties aside and guided the tip of his cock at your entrance. You moaned shamelessly when you felt him inside you for the first time in weeks.

He let out a shaky breath as he dragged himself up and down through your wet lips. Slowly teasing you, making you squirm with need. “…please…” you said so quietly you thought it was in your head. “…please, Loki…”

He gave into your cries. Into your begging; and thrust quickly inside you. You let out a vulgar moan at the sheer length of him filling you completely. Your knees squeezed around his hips as you tried to slow his assault. Your nails dug into the soft wood of his desk trying to hold on. “Stop resisting, my love. I thought this was what you wanted?” he grunted.

Your hands gripped his wrist that was holding down your shoulder. He gathered your skirt around your waist and used it as leverage to thrust deeper into you. “Just a little bit deeper…fuck…When I’m…when I’m done with you…I’ll make sure…you can’t walk in the morning…” he vowed. “So, you won’t leave my bed like you did that day.” His rage was palpable and cloying.

“…Loki…” you whined. But that only made him go harder. Faster.

You held the edge of the desk above you, trying to meet his passionate thrust with your own. Strands of your hair fell off to the sides. Your back arched, and you could feel the cards stick to the sweat of your skin.

“You like this, don’t you? Look how wet you are for me.” He watched as your sweet cum coated his shaft, making him groan. You could feel it dripping from you with each hard thrust of his cock. “Do you like it rough?”

“…fuck, Loki…please…”

“You’re enjoying this too much.” His hand moved from your shoulder up to your throat. He grabbed your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, “Next time, I’ll just fuck you in front of the team. So, they can see what a begging mess you become for me.”

And he was right. You are a mess. And you are enjoying this too much. You had always prided yourself in being a tough and independent person. But when it comes to Loki, you didn’t hesitate to be cuffed and barred. You didn’t fight it when he chased you. You wanted him to catch you. You wanted his dominance.

Loki bent to hover over you, pinning your hips down to his hard desk. “You are not to leave me. Ever. Do you understand?” his breath came out labored and grunting. “You can storm out angry. You can yell, scream, and fight. Hell, I prefer it. But you are never to leave without returning and talking about it afterward. Is that clear?” He thrust deep to mark his point. You moaned loudly into the stifling air. Your fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“Say it!” he thrust again, demanding an answer.

“yesyesyes…please Loki…I’m a-about to…” you squeezed tighter around him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Come on then. Give it to me.” He demanded in your ear. You wrapped your ankles around his waist, keeping him locked to you. Loki stood back up, taking your wrist ad holding them down against his desk. You were trapped in between his corded arms. All you could see was the beautiful face of a god unraveling above you. His slanted brows and his gritted teeth, his deep voice grunting at the feel of your warmth around him.

You could feel the tight pull of his shaft against your walls when he dragged himself out and plunged back in. “Fuck baby, that’s it. Tighter. Come on.”

Your legs shook and you screamed his name one last time. Your orgasm pulses inside you, making every single part of you sensitive and euphoric. Loki followed soon after. His hips jutted forward with each grunt and spill of his climax inside you.

Loki bent over you again. He caged your head between his arms and kissed you softly on your swollen lips. Your hands roamed his back, feeling his powerful muscles contort and contract as he moaned above you. Your nails would scratch on his smooth skin whenever his cock twitched inside you. “Loki.”

Without breaking your kiss, he scooped you up from his desk and walked over to his bed. “…such a good girl for me, darling…” he whispered on your skin. “…taking me all in like that. Good fucking girl...” Your throat was hoarse and stung too much to answer anything above a sigh. His plush blankets welcomed you as he laid you down on top. “…and do you know what good girls get?”

You bit your lip to stop from giggling. Loki lined himself up with your entrance once again and pushed slowly. Your giggles turned into moans as he continued his rhythmic thrust against your heat.

“Look at me, darling,” he asked so sweetly. Your furrowed eyes caught his. “I love you,” he murmured. “I should’ve said it from the very beginning.” He continued at a tantric pace, keeping his stare at yours. You tightened around him and you got a more genuine feel for him. Every vein, every inch, pulling your moans from your lips and leaving you with nothing but the sensation of his love and adoration for you.

He looked deep into your eyes, and you could tell that he was close again. “I love you too,” you whispered. Loki let go. At the same time, your body releases itself into a climax. One of the strongest, and most powerful, ones you’ve ever felt.

His body sunk on top of yours. He was finally letting go of the weight and worry that he held these past weeks. And you welcomed it by holding him tighter against you.

You woke up the next morning, tender and stinging. The tiniest movement of your hips shot an aching soreness throughout your body. And you smiled. Your mind reeled at the memories of last night. After your shared confessions, Loki took you again in the shower, then on the floor, and then in the shower again. He fucked you in every conceivable space in his room. And then he would make love to every inch of your body afterward.

“Can you walk?” his voice was low and gravelly. The dredges of sleep have yet to release him from their grasp.

“Well, good morning to you too.” You playfully pushed him aside, pretending to be insulted. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a morning kiss.

“Good morning, my love…” he said with adoration. “…Can you walk?” he repeated. You rolled your eyes at him, smiling. You knew the answer before you even attempted to sit up and try to get off his bed.

Your hips felt out of place. Your thighs burned and screamed at being used again so soon after last night. And your feet could barely hold you up threatening to slip. “No, I can’t. Are you happy?”

Loki scooped you up making you yelp and grab hold of his shoulders. “Tremendously, so.” He said kissing you heatedly on your lips.

Nat sat in the conference room, reading Tony’s mission briefing from the night before. The rest of the team returned early last night and decided to join in on the movie. No one had noticed that you and Laufeyson were missing until Thor asked where his brother was. “They were both very tired. I think they might’ve gone to bed early,” Nat smirked.

And now, here she was watching the two of you come out of the bedroom hallways. A sudden giggle escapes from your lips. She looked over the paper and witnessed Laufeyson carrying you into the kitchen bridal style. “Put me down! I can walk now you know,” you whispered into his ear.

“Oh, darling. We both know I’m too good for that to wear off so quickly.”

“You pompous ass!”

“Yes, one that has your scratch marks all over it!” He gave you a quick peck on the lips, followed by his signature devious smirk. Loki pulled out one of the chairs and sat down with you on top of his lap.

Oh, this oughta be good! Nat neglected the rest of her work on the table and made her way over to the two of you. Loki had conjured a muffin and some coffee for you. While you sat on his lap feeding him grapes like he was Dionysus himself.

“You know, when I dared you to sit on his lap, I meant for the length of the movie,” Nat said coming up from behind you and sitting across the table. “Not indefinitely.”

“Your lovely friend here has been incapacitated, Agent Romanoff.” Loki smiled, nuzzling his nose against the smell of his shampoo in your hair. “I’m afraid she’ll need assistance from here on out. For the foreseeable future.”

“Stop it!” you chided him.

“Make me,” he teased.

⬅️ Truth or Dare | Hide and Seek (Coming Soon) ➡️

A/N: I guess I wasn't ready to let go of these two yet. This series wasn't supposed to have any major angst or plot. It was just supposed to be a collection of these two characters playing random "adult" games. So, I will try to get back to that thought and update whenever I think of something for them to do 😉.

🏷️ @emarich7 @michelleleewise @coldnique @psychospore @lokisgoodgirl @silverfire475 @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @tallseaweed @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee @melsunshine @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @cjand10 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @chrisevansmaindish @capswife @dangertoozmanykids101

#Loki #Loki x reader #Loki x female reader #Loki smut

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holdmytesseract · 3 days

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Writing Update

Hey, guys! I just wanted to give y'all a short update, 'cause, well... Work is REALLY kicking my ass at the moment. I have barely time for anything in my life besides working, sleeping, and eating. I hate it, but I can't change it at the moment.

Therefore, I also don't have much time to write... Apologies to @gruftiela @simping-for-marvel @asgards-princess-of-mischief @drlucichen @queenoffiresign88 for not writing your Campfire Sleepover requests yet. Please know that they aren't forgotten. I'm trying. 🧡

A few Campfire Sleepover drabbles are already written and saved in my drafts; ready to be posted. Your requests @jiyascepter @muddyorbsblr @mandywholock1980 @captain-camille and one of a sweet nonny. I'll try my best to post them soon. 🫡🧡

Also, I still have quite a few stories up my sleeve, which I can post, so you will definitely have enough to read. 🤗

The Baby Fever wedding is also written and currently waiting to be edited. 🥰

I hope y'all can understand this. 🧡

Tagging some peeps... @mochie85 @smolvenger @lokisgoodgirl @anukulee @chennqingg @glitchquake @hisredheadedgoddess28 @loz-3 @eleniblue @goblingirlsarah @crimson25 @icytrickster17 @lokidbadguy @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lovingchoices14 @huntedmusicgardenn @km-ffluv @salvinaa @lcolumbia1988 @lou12346789 @jaidenhawke @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @buttercupcookies-blog @multifandom-worlds @jennyggggrrr @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @lokiforever @lokischambermaid @aagn360 @lady-rose-moon @irishhappiness @totsnotlynn +++

#writing update #personal stuff?#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki

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holdmytesseract · 3 days

Text

I'M SO SORRY, BESTIE, BUT ALSO THANK YOU! 🥺🧡

Yeah, I thought it was about time for some Baby Fever angst. Thank you! But I'm definitely going to return to the fluff! 🥺

@smolvenger

A Stroke Of Fate

☆ The Baby Fever AU ☆

Loki x Y/N

Summary: Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. You and Loki learn that in a very hard way. A path you are forced to walk on, which puts your love, relationship and even marriage to the test.

Warnings: 18+! MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! Angst, grief, sadness, loss, fights, mentions of injuries, pregnancy/pregnancy loss! trauma, misunderstandings, inappropriate touching - no rape, but it goes in that direction, violence? fluff! tiny bit of suggestive smut - blink and you'll miss it. Tell me if I missed something!

Word Count: 6k

a/n: This is most likely the saddest thing I have ever written - and it hurt me to the very core to do this to Y/N and Loki, but I had to. The idea was in my head for a long time. I fully blame 'Stay' by Rihanna and Mikky Echo.

Also, this isn't just another Baby Fever fic... This takes their story into a new direction - kind of...

Baby Fever Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist °☆• Masterlist

divider by @fictive-sl0th <3

Loki’s eyes widened in realisation; jaw slacking. He wasn't able to move a single muscle. All he could do was stare. Stare at the tiny, seemingly plain object laying inside his big palms.

Millions of thoughts ran through his head at lightning speed. The god's heart pounded violently against his ribcage. He tried to focus, but he couldn't. Too overwhelmed by the various emotions coursing through his veins.

But at last, he felt how the happiness finally took the upper hand and overweighed everything.

Tears started to pool in his oceanic blues; clouding his vision. And with the first tears falling from the corner of his eyes, Loki sunk to his knees on the bathroom floor; clutching the small object tightly against his chest; crying.

All he wanted was to get a towel from the little cabinet underneath the sink to clean up the mess two-year-old baby Narfi had made with his sippy cup - and now he was holding the future in his hands. Literally.

Loki had anticipated a lot... But certainly not to find a positive pregnancy test. Obviously, your pregnancy test; hidden in between the towels.

"Rogers!" Loki called after Cap, before he could step inside the elevator. The blond man's eyes lifted and landed on the god, who was literally jogging down the long hallway, with little Narfi on his arm.

"Have... Have you seen my wife?" He asked; tears still pricking his eyes. Steve raised an eyebrow and thoroughly scanned the prince's features. "Is everything alright, Laufeyson?" Loki nodded quickly; causing his raven locks to gently bounce against his shoulders. "More than alright, Rogers. Now have you seen my wife?" "Um, yes, I- I think she's in the training room, testing her new combat suit. At least that's what Y/N said earlier when we-" Loki slapped Steve's shoulder; interrupted him. "Thank you, Rogers." The god smiled at Steve and rushed past him; quickly pressing the button on the elevator.

Before the soldier could react, the metallic doors shut close in front of him.

Loki could barely contain his excitement. Something the little man on his arm noticed as well...

Narfi looked at his father with big ruby eyes. Sure, he didn't understand the situation, but the boy also didn't have to yet. He was still so young. Lifting a little blue hand, Narfi touched his father's cheek; feeling a tear against his tiny fingers. "Daddy?"

Loki smiled at his son. He adjusted the two-year-old on his arm and turned his head; kissing his palm and blew a raspberry against the skin - which caused Narfi to giggle and Loki to smile even wider. "Let's go, see mommy, yes?" He run his free hand through Narfi's short black curls; still fighting the tears. "See mama?" The god nodded; chuckling. "Yes, little man."

With a ding arrived the elevator on the 5th floor and the doors slid open. Loki stepped out and let Narfi stand on his own small two feet. Then the god squatted down and quickly fixed the boy's jumper. Today he wore the beige one with the dinosaurs on it - gifted to him by his uncle Scott. Narfi's forest green sweatpants needed adjustment, too, since they were still a little too big. After that was done, he stood up again and took Narfi by his hand. "Come one, buddy."

Together, they rounded the corner and entered the training room - well, rather small hall. It had everything an Avenger needed to prepare and train for missions.

Loki’s eyes immediately searched for you - and they found you quickly. You were standing on a mat; doing some stretches, launches and small jumps. Testing your new combat suit - like Steve said. If it weren't for all the Serotonin and Oxytocin coursing through his veins, he'd probably ravish you right then and there. Anyways, he was happy that no one was around...

Narfi was the one to announce your men's arrival. As soon as he saw you, he squealed out and ran as fast as his little legs carried him towards you.

"Mama!"

You immediately turned at the call of your child; seeing Narfi and Loki. You smiled and squatted down; ready to catch the boy. "Mama!" "Hey, sweetie!" You hugged him close and pressed a lingering kiss on his cheek. "Are you and daddy visiting me?" Your son nodded. "Uh.Huh." "Ohh, that's great." You ruffled his hair and stood up again to greet Loki.

"Hey, babe." You smiled and wrapped your arms around your husband's neck. "Hello, love." He placed his hands on your hips; pulling you closer. That was the moment you saw tears glistening in his eyes. He cried... You were of course immediately worried; your brows slanting. "Loki, why are you crying? What is-" He interrupted you with his lips on yours; kissing you with all the love he possessed for you.

Only Narfi's little tuck on his sweatpants was able to break the kiss. "Daddy! Narfi pway ball?" Both, yours and Loki's gaze followed Narfi's pointing. Loki chuckled; realising that the blue softball the boy always played with when he was with you or Loki laid only a few meters away from him. "Sure, buddy, go play."

Narfi ran away; giggling and started to kick the ball across the floor.

"Loki, what is it? You are crying, what's the matter?" Your husband smiled; thumbs tracing over your clothed hips. "I love your new suit." You couldn't help but smile as well, but still quite a bit confused. "Thank you, I... I thought it was time for a new one." "It fits you, my love. You look absolutely ravishing, if I might say so." You bit your lip; noticing the naughty, mischievous glint in his blue eyes. "Ahh, I see..." You giggled and pulled him into another kiss; not forgetting to cast an eye on your son now and then.

With a soft pop ended Loki the kiss - still smiling like a Cheshire cat. "But... You won't need this suit very much longer, right?" He whispered, and you could see how another tear rolled down his cheek.

And suddenly it fell like scales from your eyes. Your brain had quickly connected the dots.

You swallowed. "You... You found the-" "Pregnancy test, yes." Loki finished your sentence with a small sob. "B-But how? I thought I hid it so well..." The god chuckled; shaking his head. A tear dropped from his chin on his sweater. "Not good enough, my love. Narfi spilled water over the table with his sippy cup a-and I needed a towel, so..." You face-palmed yourself. "So you looked in the cupboard underneath the sink, of course. Silly me..." You giggled along Loki, who pulled you closer again.

"I assume you planned to surprise me. I apologise for ruining it." You shook your head; playing with the curls on the nape of his neck. "Indeed yes, but it's okay. It's been a surprise for you nevertheless..." Your husband shook his head - still in disbelief and with silent tears running down his cheeks. "I can't believe that this little joke of ours turned into reality so quick." "Well... I have been asking for it and challenged you, so..." A deep chuckle rumbled through Loki's chest. "Never challenge a half Frost Giant in spring to such things." "Yup, lesson learned," you giggled.

Your husband wrapped you up in a big hug then; holding you close, while you kissed his tears away. "No, honestly, darling... This is great," he whispered; gazing deeply into his eyes. Loki was positively radiating happiness - you could feel it. You nodded. "It is."

He kissed you once again; soft lips melting against yours.

You and Loki sat down on one of the benches then, which lined the wall beside the entrance; watching Narfi play and burn off energy. You had placed a hand on his thigh - which Loki had now wrapped up in his bigger hand.

"When did you take the test, love? And do you know how far along you are? I tried to figure it out myself, but we do way too much love making to do so." A snort, followed by a laugh slipped past your lips and you slapped his thigh. "Loki!" "What?" He asked; smiling mischievously and shrugged his shoulders. "It's the truth, is it not?" You just giggled, but nodded.

He wasn't wrong, after all.

"I took the test three days ago, but I have absolute no idea how far along I am. I'm gonna call my gynaecologist tomorrow and make an appointment." You smiled and squeezed his hand. "You could accompany me..." Loki gazed into your eyes and tuck a loose strand behind your ear. "I'd love to."

Just a few days later, you had your appointment at your gynaecologist's. Loki accompanied you. Ella was at school and Narfi with his auntie Nat. A white lie needed to be told to your best friend, since you didn't want to shout the good news from the rooftops yet.

The pregnancy test you took didn't lie to you. You were, in fact, pregnant again. Five weeks, said your gynaecologist, so it was new, fresh and vulnerable. You and Loki decided to tell it nobody yet. Not a single soul. Not even Frigga. And it turned out to be the right decision, because what happened only three weeks later was something you never thought would happen. At least to you...

"Are you sure you don't want to join us?" You asked Loki, while you stood in front of the mirror. The god was leaning against the wall of the bathroom behind you. He had his hair tied up into a bun and his hands buried in the pockets of his sweatpants. "No, thank you, darling. I'd rather stay here with the kids." You giggled and caught his gaze in the mirror. "Does that mean you prefer Ella's tea party over a night out?"

Loki couldn't help but smirk, "Oh, definitely." and join your laughter.

"Alright..." You started; lastly applying some perfume to complete your look. "I'll be going now." You turned to face your husband. Placing both hands on his chest, you leaned in to kiss him.

Loki nodded; pulling you closer by the belt around your waist. "Take care, alright? Please, by the love of the Norns, look after yourself and the little bean, yes?" You rubbed your palms across his pecs. "Of course, my love. I promise." You kissed him again and then left the bathroom. "And no alcohol!" You heard Loki calling after you. "I know, babe!" You giggled.

After you bid your goodbye to Ella and Narfi; giving them both a big smooch on the cheek, you met up with Nat and Jane to go out for a, well... small girl's night out.

The actual plan was to do a 'couple night's out' - but none of the boys wanted to join in and Pepper and Jane didn't have time in the end as well. Therefore it was just you, Nat and Wanda.

"No Loki?" asked Jane as you walked out of the building. "Nope... He preferred Ella's tea party." That had the three of you giggling. "Understandable," threw Nat in. "Ella's tea parties are the best."

You and the girls headed for your favourite bar; talked, danced and definitely had fun. It seemed like a perfect night. At that point, you not waisted one thought that it could turn some way somehow sour...

But it did. In the worst way possible. A harmless night, which turned into a nightmare.

Shaky hands reached for your mobile. It was almost midnight. You had danced around this for minutes now; not conjuring enough bravery to call him. By now you've tried about a million times - failing.

So, once more you took a deep breath, squeezed your red and teary eyes shut and swallowed the lump in your throat. Your finger hovered above the green button beside your husband's contact.

I have to, I have to, I need to, I want to, you repeated within your head like a mantra, now or never - and finally tapped on the button.

His phone rang. One, two, three, four, a fifth time. You already were on the verge of hanging up when a sleep filled voice croaked out: "Darling?"

On every other day you'd have found Loki's sleepy voice drop-dead sexy... Not today.

"L-Loki?" You heard a bit of a rustling on the other end. "M here, my love, 'm here," he said huskily; "Wha' is it?" audibly trying to wake up. You swallowed hard. "I-I..." You had to cut off your own sentence, in order to hold back the tears - unsuccessfully. A small sob slipped past your quivering lips. Something the god on the other end picked up. It didn't slip his notice.

He immediately sat up and switched on the lamp above his bedside table; wide awake all of a sudden. "Y/N, what's wrong?"

"I... I am at t-the h-hospital."

Loki's eyes widened instantly in shock and fear; his heartbeat skyrocketing. "I beg your pardon; you are where?" You swallowed again; feeling the tears run down your cheeks. "The h-hospital."

Loki was already jumping out of bed.

"What?! Why?! By the Norns, what happened?! Are you hurt?!"

You wanted to scream.

"T-There was... was an incident at the b-bar and-" Loki was already slipping inside a white shirt; hastily buttoning it up and totally forgetting about his magical abilities at that moment. All he could think about was you... And his unborn child.

"I'm coming, love! I'm on my way, I-" "No," you interrupted your husband; causing him to stop dead in his movements - frowning.

"Stay w-with the kids, okay? You..." Fresh tears ran down your cheeks. "You can't leave them a-alone." "But..." Loki threw immediately in; blinded by his fear and worry about the woman he loved; about to just act headless. "Please, Loki, please," you pleaded. "Natasha is going t-to take me home. I-I just wanted to... To tell you."

Your words confused Loki. She can leave the hospital already? "B-But, love, what-" You couldn't take this anymore. You didn't have the strength to talk to him further - and you'd need all your remaining power to keep up the façade later in front of your best friend. "I'll tell you later, I p-promise," you managed to somehow choke out...

...and hung up.

Natasha and you had returned to the Avengers compound about an hour later. Now you were standing in front of the door to your family's apartment. You were exhausted. So utterly exhausted. All your power spent on crying and pretending everything was alright. All you wanted was to break down and cry yourself to sleep - but you had to talk to your husband first...

Unlocking the door, you stepped inside the dark apartment. Mostly dark apartment. The only light source came from the living room. He was waiting for you. Of course he was waiting for you.

You could already picture it in your head. He'd walk up and down in the room; worried and afraid - like a caged and hurt animal.

You took a deep breath; gathered all your leftover strength and made your way into the living room.

Loki was indeed walking up and down the room, but currently had his back to you and a hand in his messy curls. You swallowed.

"Loki..."

The soft, almost inaudible call of his name attracted his attention. He swiftly turned around; facing you. Worry was written all over his face. Your husband's eyes widened, "Y/N!" before he literally ran over to you. His big palms landed on the sides of your upper arms and his oceanic, tear stained blues wandered up and down your body; searching for injuries. "What happened?! What is wrong?! How are you feeling?!" The god's mind was racing - already. And you'd make it worse.

Tears pooled in your eyes again, just at the mere thought of what you were going to tell him.

"At... At the bar, there was an... an incident and-" While you spoke, his palms had wandered down your arms and to your hands. He lifted them gently and wanted to kiss your knuckles, as a frown formed on his forehead. "Y/N, what..." Loki interrupted you; thumbs brushing over the bruises on your wrists. "What is this? Tell me what happened, please. Right now."

You swallowed again, nodding. "There was a-a man. He... He had his eyes on me the whole evening. I could feel it. He was watching me. Just me. Not N-Nat or Wanda. Me." You could already see how Loki's jaw tightened. Anger was taking over his system already. "At s-some point I had to go to the ladies. He... He followed me. He said that he had cast an... an eye on me and that he would like to..." You cut off your own sentence. Not that you needed to finish it. Loki knew what you were going to say. "I refused, of course. T-Tried to stay polite and leave, but... He didn't let me. He... He trapped me inside the ladies, caged me against the wall." That's where the bruises come from, Loki thought. "I fought against it - against him. He was so strong."

Loki felt like he could burst because of the anger and fear running through his veins. "Please tell me he didn't..."

You knew what he wanted to say and quickly shook your head. "N-No, I headbutted him, t-then kicked him in the balls a-and perhaps even broke his nose." A relieved breath left your husbands lips. "That's my girl."

"He fled then, but..." Loki’s face hardened again. "But what?" Deep down the god knew there must have happened something else. Unless Natasha and Wanda wouldn't have taken you to the hospital.

"He... He had slammed my head against the wall, which resulted in a small cut and-" "There's more?!" You could already hear in his voice that he was furious once more. You knew that he'd love to find that guy right now and do terrible, awful things to him.

You nodded once more. "When he grabbed me, I... I tried to fight against him a-and escape. I almost made it, but then he..." You had to swallow down the lump in your throat and suppress the tears. "He kneed me in the s-stomach to prevent me from e-escaping."

Your husband's mind was way too clouded with anger and fear. He couldn't think clearly, and therefore was unable to connect the dots. Norse curse words spluttered from his lips and his eyes darkened. Threat his family and you'll bring out the darkest side of him - you knew that.

"I'll find him, my love." "Loki." You spoke in a weak voice, trying to get through to him. "I'll find him and then I'll kill him." "Loki." "Slowly and intimately." "Loki, please." "I'll make him pay for what he did to you and-" You couldn't take it any longer. You had to tell him.

"Loki, I lost the baby."

Your sentence cut through the air like his daggers through skin. Loki's mouth clapped shut and a very unpleasant silence spread in the living room. He needed a second to process your words. You just stared at him; silent tears running down your cheeks and dripping on your blouse, as you watched Loki fall apart in front of you.

"W-What?" He croaked out; seemingly still unable to grasp this.

"I... I lost our baby."

He started to shake his head. "No, that's... It can't be. Everything was alright!" "I know," you sobbed. "But I was at the hospital... They checked. The incident caused the m-miscarriage." You stepped closer and reached for his hands. Loki blinked; tears escaping the corner of his eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry."

You wanted to hug your husband; catch him mid-falling and preferably crash on the hard ground of reality together with him - but he took a step back. "No, no, no, no..." His hands suddenly dropped yours. Without his touch, you had never felt more cold and lonely.

"Loki, what-" "This is your fault." He suddenly exclaimed; driving an invisible dagger straight through your heart. "It's your fault, Y/N and you know it. I told you! I told you to stay and not go in the first place! I told you to take it easy this early in the pregnancy!" He ran both his hands over his face and tugged frustratingly at his raven curls, while you just stood there; frozen. You didn't know what was happening.

"We almost lost Narfi, because you explicitly wanted to accompany me to that stupid charity event and now?! Now exactly that happened, of what I've always been afraid of! Of what I've always warned you! But no... You just didn't want to listen!"

You were still staring at him, mouth agape. This wasn't real, you thought. I must be dreaming.

"M-My... My fault?" You croaked out; feeling like you were going to fall apart. "Yes!" Loki hissed. "You heard what I said, did you not?!" Sure, you understood that this was equally as hard and sad as it was for you. You understood the cocktail of emotions which must be brewing inside of him, but that... That was unacceptable. You hoped he'd catch you, be there for you, grieve together with you... But certainly not that he'd blame you.

"How can you blame me for this? I didn't kick myself in the gut, did I? Besides, you could've just accompanied me! Perhaps all of this would've never happened, but no, Mr. Laufeyson didn't want to!" You felt how anger rose within you as well. It was just too much.

"Me?!" Loki hissed; pressing his pointer finger in the muscle on his chest. "Oh, I'm the one to blame now?! Sure... It's easy to blame me - for everyone! Just blame the former war criminal. Just blame the untrustworthy god. Just blame the monster from another realm - and all your problems are solved!" He laughed bitterly; shaking his head.

"That's... That's not what I meant - and you know it!" Your husband cocked his head. "Oh no? It's not? Enlighten me then, Y/N!"

You sighed. "Look... I understand your worries. I really do, but I can't just sit on the sofa 24/7 and not move a muscle, just because I'm pregnant! That's not how it works!"

Loki snorted. "Well, it should! As you can see, everything else is apparently not working!" You shook your head; stepped closer to Loki. "We... We just lost our baby... Shouldn't we... Shouldn't we grieve toge-" The god interrupted you, tears streaming down his face. "Yes, and I'm not the one to blame." With those words he brushed past you, "I will be sleeping on the sofa tonight." and left you behind; feeling more cold and lonely than you ever did in your whole life before...

The loss of the new life growing within you and the fight you and Loki had that night caused a wide rift to appear between the two of you. It split your relationship apart. Everything else would be a lie.

You felt how he grew cold and distant. Just like you did. The once perfectly harmonic, loving and desiring bond cracked.

Sure, there had always been fights, misunderstandings and disagreements - totally normal things. But this... This was different.

...and you just didn't know how to stop your marriage from falling apart...

Whenever you tried to speak with him about the topic, he'd immediately steered the conversation into a different direction. Hence, he talked less to you in general. No deep conversations anymore, no love declarations - nothing.

The communication lacked, just like the physical touch. You'd get a kiss from time to time, yes, but nothing more. Barely cuddles, no long, intimate kisses and certainly no sex.

It hurt you. To the core - but the sad thing about it all was, that you actually hadn't a single reason to complain, because you weren't better. You gave him just as little as he gave you. It was a mutual thing - and at some point didn't go unnoticed anymore...

"Y/N."

"Y/N, hey."

Natasha's voice urged to your ears, but didn’t reach your brain. All you did was staring ahead; totally lost in thoughts. Only when you felt her touch on your shoulder was your best friend able to get through to you.

"Babes, your glass in flowing over." You snapped your head down at her words; eyes widening. "Shit, shit, shit." You hastily turned off the tap, while Nat helped you to dry the outside of the glass, so you could wipe your hands on a kitchen towel.

"Thanks, Nat." You took the glass, "I-I've been a bit lost in thoughts." and gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I saw that," the Widow pointed out and crossed her arms over her chest, before she leaned against the bar counter across from you.

"Okay, babes... We definitely need to talk." You swallowed; frowning. "Talk? W-Why?"

Nat scoffed. "Oh, please stop that, Y/N... You can't fool me. Perhaps the others around us, but not me. Something's off. I can tell. You've been so absent-minded lately. Always in thoughts and very quiet. Your smile doesn't reach your eyes either - and..." She gave you an intense look. "... the most worrying thing... You behave differently around Loki. More distant. Colder. Less touchy." Her eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong between you two? And no, don't tell me it has just been a small fight, because this goes already on for at least two weeks. I saw it. So, don't even try to shit me, girl."

You swallowed again. That was clearly an order. You already knew that you weren’t going to lie yourself out of this situation, but... Did you even want that? Perhaps it was good to finally get this off your chest...

So, you nodded; nervously fumbling with your hands. "You... You are right. But, please can we talk about this in private?" Her eyes widened. "It is that bad?" You took a deep breath; nodding again."I'm afraid, yes."

Natasha nodded; rubbing your upper arm in a reassuring manner. "Let's head over to mine. Bruce is in the lab."

You followed your best friend to her apartment and only five minutes later sat down on her sofa; Nat following. "He didn't cheat on you, did he? Because if this fucker did, I'm going to cut off his ba-" "He didn't," you immediately interrupted her. "Loki never would. I know that. You know that." The red-haired beauty looked you straight in the eyes. "What did he do then?"

You swallowed. Memories of that night four weeks back started to flood your brain and causing you to hold back the tears.

"Remember that night where... Where we were at that bar? You, Wanda and I? And that incident with that strange man? You, taking me to the hospital afterwards?" The spy nodded; "Of course, yes." listening to you patiently. "I told you it was about the cut on the back of my head - and that was the truth, but... There was also something else..." You had to take a deep breath.

No one besides Loki had known about the pregnancy... Until now.

"He kneed me in the stomach - which wouldn't have been that much of a problem, but in my case it was, because I..." Your best friend's eyes widened. She was smart and therefore seemingly already had connected the dots. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Nat's eyes dropped to your stomach, before they lifted to face you again. "Are you...? Again?"

You nodded. "Pregnant, yes. I-I was pregnant again." Those words still hurt you more than you thought. You lowered your head; feeling a few silent tears running down your cheek.

"No... You... Oh my gosh..." Natasha gasped; immediately reached for your hand. "You're telling me that this wanker caused you to have a... miscarriage?" "Yes."

"Shit, I'm so sorry, babes. Gods, that's horrible. Come here." Your best friend hugged you tightly against her chest; just letting you cry for a while.

"And... Loki?" You snivelled. "Well, that's the point... I told him afterwards. We kinda had a fight and... He blamed me, I blamed him and ever since we didn't properly talk. We are drifting more and more apart. What had happened, split our relationship. We are losing each other - and it kills me." "Why didn't you talk with him then?" You swallowed; shaking your head.

"Because I feel like the rift between us is already too big. I won't make the jump." Nat squeezed your hand. "But you gotta try, babes. You love that man, right? He's your soulmate. The love of your life. Your baby daddy." You nodded. "Yes, I... I do. With all my heart." "See? You gotta try. But remember... It takes two to tango."

Her last words roamed through your head even several hours after the conversation. Perhaps it was really both your faults... You took a deep breath. You and Loki had to save this ship from sinking - at all costs. You didn't want to lose him. Never.

"Daddy?" Loki looked up at Ella. She was seated on the sofa backrest above him; legs dangling over his shoulders, as she was braiding several plaits into his long raven locks.

"Yes, princess?"

"You love mommy, right?"

The god's eyebrows slanted. "Of course, princess. Why are you asking?" The little girl shrugged her shoulders. "Because you and mommy don't have private time anymore."

Loki swallowed; realisation hitting him like a truck – completely out of the blue. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "Sometimes, we have little time for this, you know?" "Oh... Okay." Ella paused and Loki hoped that she'd just drop that topic know.

She did. Almost.

"Is mommy happy?" Ella dropped the next question, while small hands worked through another strand of her father's hair.

Again, Loki had to swallow - hard. "Y-Yes, I think so, why?" Yes, it was a lie. But he couldn't tell his eight-year-old daughter that you just lost her baby sibling, could he?

"But why is mommy crying so often then?"

Ella's next words hit Loki even harder. It felt like his heart was jumping over the edge of a cliff; free falling and shattering into a million pieces.

"W-What?" He croaked out; mouth falling agape.

"I see and hear mommy cry a lot."

Loki wanted to scream from the top of his lungs. You had shut him out - of course you did. After all he said why wouldn't you? You had every reason to banish him.

He blamed you; acted headless and stupid. He pushed you away when you needed him most. He fucked it up - real bad this time.

"I'm a fool..." Loki mumbled underneath his breath to himself. "I'm such a fool..."

"What did you say, daddy?" His daughter's innocent voice cut through the air once again. "Nothing, princess..." Loki answered; shaking his head. "I'm going to talk to mommy, okay?" Blue eyes looked up to meet his identical ones. "Will you make her feel better?" A breathless laugh escaped the gods lips; tears dripping down his chin. "Yes, princess... By the Norns, yes."

Loki watched you move through the kitchen from the hallway. He had just tucked the kids in and was finally able to talk with you. The conversation was long due.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped closer; feeling his heart hammering against his chest. He was so nervous. So afraid. What if you couldn't forgive him? What if he was going to lose you?

"Y/N?" The god called out your name softly. "Yes?" Your voice was cold. Distant.

A shiver ran down his spine.

"Darling, we... We need to talk... Please."

You froze in your movement; back towards your husband.

"Why? When I tried to talk to you a few weeks ago, you blocked me." Loki swallowed hard; Adam's apple bobbing within his throat. "I-I know, but... I see clearly now." He cautiously approached you. "I am so sorry, my love. I know now that I really fucked it up. I was- am such a fool. Norns, I don't know what has gotten into me. I... I just... saw red. Blaming you for the loss of our baby is the worst thing I ever did in my whole life." Tears pooled in his eyes, as you turned to face him.

"I pushed you away when you needed me the most. I should've been there for you. I should've supported you and help you through this, but no... I did the exact opposite." Loki paused for a moment; trying desperately to control his tears.

"I know what I did is unacceptable and I can't expect you to forgive me, but..." The god felt how his knees started to buckle. The weight of the possibility that you weren’t going to forgive him or even worse... Leave him, was hitting him full force. All his strength left his body and he fell down on his knees in front of you. "I-I'm begging you for forgiveness. Please, my love, please... I beg of you. Please don't leave me. I couldn't take it, I-" The lump in his throat cut off his sentence. All he could do was cry.

You witnessed the scenes in front of you; heart shattering.

"Loki..." Your soft, almost angelic voice urged to his ears. "Loki, I... I would never, ever - not in my wildest dreams leave you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I never could, I... I love you."

Blue eyes looked up at you in disbelief. "W-What? You... You forgive m-me?" You nodded; feeling tears build up in your eyes as well. You couldn't help but lower your hands and cup your husband's tear stained cheeks; feeling his soft skin underneath your palm. "Of course, my love."

Loki blinked. "Why? I treated you so bad. Something I swore I'd never do and yet I did... I blamed you for... For something which was entirely my fault."

You frowned. "Your fault? Why would this be your fault?" You wiped away another tear with your thumb. "It isn't, Loki. When it's somebody's fault, it's mine. You were right. It is my fault. I should've been more careful." "No..." Loki shook his head quickly. "No, Y/N, stop that right now, please... Don't blame yourself. I should've protected you better... And the baby, I... I failed."

You feared that your heart was going to stop beating right then and there. It hurt. Seeing Loki like that destroyed you. "No, Loki..." You sobbed and sunk to the floor as well; immediately embracing him. "We both failed, but... It happened. We can't change the past. We have to live with it." You felt Loki nod against your shoulder. "I-I know."

You squeezed him tightly against your body, just like Loki frantically tried to hold on to you. Finally, you felt better again. Since weeks. You had missed the comforting touch of your husband. It was all you ever wanted and needed. Just like he did.

You almost physically felt how the rift between you got smaller and smaller with each passing minute.

You had found each other again.

Neither of you knew how much time had passed. An hour? Two? More? But it also didn't matter. Not right now, not here. You were still embracing each other; your hand gently running through his long curls. "We're going to make this, okay? Together. Like everything before." Another nod from Loki. He was overwhelmed by all the emotions running through his veins. "Yes."

And you did.

Sure, what had happened didn't fail to leave marks on both you and Loki; a deep scar carved into your heart and soul - but it also didn't fail to make your bond stronger. Even if it did not seem like it at first.

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