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my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction · 9 months

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Infected

Miguel O'Hara X F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info

Summary: An accident at one of Alchemax’s labs has led to Miguel being briefly contaminated with cA1m - a prototype drug that is meant to calm animals. However it seems to have a very different effect in humans.

A/N: A massive thank you to @midgardian-witch for reading the beginning of this (catching a hilarious typo), making some excellent suggestions, and reassuring me that I hadn’t just lost my mind completely (yet).

Reader doesn’t know Miguel’s spiderman.

Warnings: dubious consent - it’s basically a sex pollen fic, blood, hair pulling (can I write a fic without an Oscar Isaac character getting their hair pulled?), so much cum, hand job, oral (both m and f receiving), things get a little rough, face fucking, cum eating, biting, scratching, p in v sex, typos, please let me know if I’ve missed a warning!

Word Count: 5433

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“It’s mainly preliminary.” You said with a smile. “You weren’t in the room, but the filtration system links four of the labs.”

You check over Miguel’s notes, so far, he didn’t have any symptoms.

There had been an ‘accident’ in Lab B2, an accident that was being rapidly looked into. Lab B1, and B4 had been empty, but Miguel had been in B3.

Miguel was currently in a rapidly repurposed testing room, sitting on the bed with his shirt rolled up his forearms. His specific request for somewhere with reinforced walls, doors and windows had been… unusual. But he was a big guy, couldn’t hurt to be too careful.

“How are the others doing?” He asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

“Okay,” you nodded. There had been eight people in Lab B2 when the container had broken. Two people, like Miguel, weren’t showing any symptoms.

The chemical compound, nicknamed cA1m, while liquid in its storage unit, turned to a gas at above zero degrees. Luckily it also denatured quickly, and there was a good chance that those who still weren’t showing symptoms were unaffected.

The chemical’s intention was for a more humane way to calm wild animals and livestock during veterinary checks. That way the animal in question didn’t need potentially dangerous anaesthetic for basic to mild level medical care.

It also wore off in 24 hours.

However, it still needed some work. And while early tests had gone well, apparently it did not have the desired effect in humans.

Four of the six infected had gone feral, absolutely crazy with rage, trying to kill and destroy everything and everyone within their reach.

Luckily no one had been severely injured before they had been tranquilised.

The other two were different, they had… other urges.

“Have you found any links as to why Doctor Guerrero and Doctor Vaughan didn’t react like the others?” Miguel asks. His voice was calm and controlled, like it always was. Politely interested, like he was listening to a presentation about your latest control data.

“Well, I have an idea. Though I haven’t fully proven it yet.”

He tilted his head to the side in a silent question. The action was endearing, it made your heart flutter and heat rise to your skin. And you hated it so, so much.

You smiled quickly and looked down, trying to cover the fact you’d been staring at him for a second too long.

“So,” you continued, drawing the word out a little to give you a pause of breathing room. “Both Guerrero and Vaughan are in relationships, both of them wanted to,” you pause for a moment, trying to find the most professional way to phrase it. “get to their partners. Unlike the others they also had a massively increased level of oxytocin.”

“Your theory is that that cA1m causes a berserk level of rage unless the subject is in love?” There was the smallest smirk on his lips.

It sounded stupid when he put it like that.

“Well… yes.” You fold your arms. “Look, Miguel,” he grinned when you said his name and you fought, and lost, the urge to smile back. “I’ve had fourteen hours and six people to base this off, plus three who are showing no symptoms. Give me a break, yeah?”

He held up his hands playfully. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You gave me a look.”

“What look?” He teased.

“I know you want to be trying to figure this out yourself, but you’re the one who insisted on not being allowed any breakable, or expensive, equipment while you’re in here.”

He smiled. “It’s true.” His gaze was heavy, crushing almost.

You shook your head and turned to the side table. “Anyway, are you gonna let me draw some blood or what?”

He nodded and held his arm out to you.

You know why you had been ‘nominated’ (begged) to be the one to see Miguel. He wasn’t the easiest CEO to work for in the sense that he was both physically and mentally intimidating, but what usually threw most people was that he was quiet, tended to watch and listen.

And he had a bit of resting bitch face.

But he was actually pretty pleasant to talk to when you got to know him.

You brushed your arm against his as you moved to get your equipment. Miguel audibly gasped.

A flash of worry pinched at your mind, you turned to look at him. “You okay?”

Miguel nodded; he was staring straight ahead at the wall. Obviously in distress.

“Miguel?” This wasn’t the same as those who had suddenly developed into a full-blown rage, but still you couldn’t help the sense of apprehension that crawled along your skin. You glanced at the sedative on the side table and shook your head.

“Miguel?” You spoke again, a little softer and moved a step closer towards him.

He shuddered at your voice, screwing his eyes up tightly. Sweat was beading on his forehead, heat rolling off him in waves.

“Miguel, I’m gonna-”

He moved faster than you could comprehend, one second he was sitting on the bed and the next he was looming over you, his hands clenched tightly around your biceps, and forcing you back.

You yelped as he pressed you into the wall, grabbing hold of his forearms.

His eyes were dark and wild, brimming with a terrifying energy.

“Miguel, wh-”

He crashed his lips into yours, swallowing down your words and slipping his tongue into your mouth frantically. It took you a fragment of a second to react, surprise freezing your limbs solid.

Miguel took your delay to his advantage, pushing his knee between your legs and pressing close. Not leaving a fraction of space between you as he devoured your mouth. Stealing your breath and igniting heat along your veins.

“Miguel,” you managed to push him back, the heels of your hands in his chest. This was the cA1m affecting him, it was the only explanation. Maybe the filtration system had diluted the chemical and caused a delayed reaction. “You need to-”

He snarled, his eyes pinpoint focused on you as he leaned forward and kissed you, hard. All tongue and sharp teeth as he wrapped his fingers around the back of your neck and gripped your thigh bruisingly tight, hitching it high on his hip.

You’d had dreams like this, fantasies, where he pinned you to the wall and kissed you until you couldn’t breathe. But you couldn’t do this, you couldn’t take advantage of him like this-

There was a sharp pinch of pain as Miguel sank his teeth into your bottom lip. You let out a small squeak of surprise, pulling away from him. And raised your hand to your mouth, your fingers coming back red.

Miguel, however, seemed unphased as he trailed kisses along your neck, smearing your blood along your skin. He ground his hips into yours, rocking back and forth and- oh god, he was big, just like the rest of him.

“Miguel, you need to,” you swallowed down a whimper as he sucked at your pulse point, just managing to resist the urge to hold him closer, to run your hands through his hair. “It’s the cA1m, you’re not thinking straight.”

He murmured something into your neck, his mouth not leaving your skin far enough for the words to be intelligible.

“Miguel-” You gasped as he nipped at your throat, not enough to break the skin this time.

Heat was burning from his skin, scorching into your body like you were too close to a flame.

You grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking his head back a fraction too forcefully. You thought the brief pain might snap him out of it, give him a second of clarity. But as his chin tilted upwards, exposing his neck, he let out a long groan, his eyes squeezed shut.

It went straight to your core, your thighs clenching at the sound.

“Need you so bad, shit,” he rocked against you harder, pressing his length right up against your centre. “Always need you, you don’t understand,” he moaned and buried his head back into your neck, despite your grip on his hair, and sucked a love bite into your skin.

This time you couldn’t resist the urge. You sunk your fingers deeper, scratching your nails along his scalp and pulled him closer, pushing his face in your neck.

Miguel groaned appreciatively, digging his sharp nails into your shoulders. He nipped just below your ear, the keen, yet sweet little sting of pain blended with the slow and steady roll of his hips was simply tortuous. Almost enough to make you lose all common sense.

Almost.

You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t do this, you just couldn’t do this.

“Miguel-”

He whined as you said his name.

And you had to bite your lips together in order to hold onto your fading self respect.

“On the table,” you swallowed, trying to get your words out quickly, “there’s a sedative. It’ll help, it’ll-”

“You’ll help, being near you helps.” He mumbles, the words barely audible. He snakes his fingers along your ribs, just teasing the hem of your shirt.

“We just need to-oh!”

Miguel grabs hold of your shirt and pulls, ripping it open, buttons pinging off and going flying. Honestly, there’s less resistance from the material than you expected.

And then he's everywhere, his face buried in your chest, kissing the tops of your breasts as his fingers pinch at your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra.

You can't stop the moan of surprise that escapes your lips as you arch into his touch.

You had to stop this, now. Before he did something you'd very much enjoy and he'd very much regret.

"Fuck," you hiss under your breath and act quickly, trying not to overthink and get yourself caught up.

Maybe if he… had some relief you could grab the sedative in the afterglow. Hell, maybe he wouldn't even need the sedative if he came once.

Before you can lose your nerve you quickly unbuckled his trousers and managed to squeeze your hand under the material despite Miguel's frenzied mind trying to keep the physical space separating you both to a minimum.

He gasps as you touch him, letting out a choked sob that your brain was already committing to memory and filing under 'for use later'.

The velvety soft skin was rock hard and burning hot against your hand. So big that you couldn't even get your fingers fully round his girth.

"Please." He muttered, pressing his forehead against yours, his hands resting tightly on your waist.

His eyes were screwed shut, his mouth slightly open and when you moved your hand, the smallest upwards movement. He let out the sweetest sigh.

You bite your lip and wince as you catch the broken skin, but it doesn’t stop you from tracing your thumb over the tip of him, smearing precome along the head. You were trying to be quick, methodical, clinical, as you began to stroke him, setting an even pace. This was just a problem to solve. You should not be enjoying this.

But every glide of your hand, every touch, made Miguel gasp and moan as if it was the first time he’d ever experienced such sensations, made him bite his lip with his sharp (had they always been that sharp?) teeth, and it was intoxicating.

He pistoned his hips into your touch, thrusting faster and faster, and practically growling as he grew closer to his release.

You couldn’t help but watch him, enraptured, as heat pooled in your lower stomach, your own need growing. But this wasn’t about you.

Still, you couldn’t help yourself rocking back and forth against his leg ever so slightly to just take the edge off.

Miguel grunted, his eyes rolling back in his head, and there was a sharp pinch of pain as he tightened his grip on your waist, his nails digging in much harder than they surely should have been able to.

He swore under his breath as he cums, twitching under your touch, and coating your hand and stomach with his release.

There’s so much of it, far more than there should be as he cums and cums, gasping for air. Another side effect of the cA1m - perhaps you’d be annoyed as his release soaks into your ruined shirt if the sight of him reaching his peak wasn’t exhilarating.

You let go of him quickly, managing to disentangle yourself from him, despite Miguel low, exhausted whine of protest.

God, how were you going to get a new shirt without running into someone? And, you realised, probably a new pair of trousers too. Miguel’s spend had run down and soaked into the left side.

You grabbed the sedative from the side table. Your mind already racing, it wasn’t Miguel’s fault but would he remember? Would he be awkward with you now? Would your little chats and jokes stop? You swallowed down a pang of fear and turned. Now wasn’t the time for what ifs you-

Miguel grabbed your arms and you squeaked in surprise. How could he move so silently? His eyes were dark, hooded with lust, his trousers just hanging from his hips and… well, obviously so much for the idea that him cumming once would be enough.

“I need you.” He growled, his voice so low that you almost felt light headed. “I know you want me too, I can smell it.” He leaned forward scraping his teeth over your pulse point, and for a shameful moment you let yourself get caught up again, allowed yourself to revel in the sensation for the smallest second.

While he was distracted you pushed the needle into his upper arm, through his shirt, and injected the sedative.

It shouldn't take long.

He growled, pulling his mouth away from your neck to stare dangerously into your eyes.

You swallowed. A spike of fear dug into the base of your skull, some ancient urge telling you to run.

“It’s okay,” you said soothingly, unsure if you were really talking to Miguel or yourself. “It’s just the sedative.” You pulled the needle out of his arm. “You’ll be fine, let’s lay you down so-”

He kissed you hungrily, harsh and demanding as he forced his tongue into your mouth.

You allowed yourself to kiss him back the smallest amount as you waited for the sedative to work.

And waited… And waited…

Oh, no, just no, this wasn’t right, this couldn’t be right. There was more than enough in the injection to knock him out and yet he didn’t show any signs of slowing down.

Okay, so, this definitely wasn’t how it went with the others.

You side step, trying to twist past him and break his hold all in one movement. Maybe you could get to the door, maybe you could do… something. Your mind raced, there had to be a way to fix this, to help him, to be useful.

The side step didn’t work, Miguel’s grip was too tight, and you stumbled, skidding around and to your knees. The edge of the bed thumped into your back.

You gasp, gulp and stare up at him. That spike of fear dragging itself down your spine.

He growls and moves closer, his length bobbing and perfectly at your eye level. His gaze is dark and desperate, his bottom lip pinched between his teeth. You could see his pulse thundering in his neck, echoing along the length of his dick.

Rapid heartbeat was one of the side effects all the others had experienced, the sedative being the only thing that had managed to return it to a normaler level.

Maybe there was only one way you could be useful.

Miguel shifts his weight, preparing to move, but you lean forward first and run your tongue along the length of him.

A deep moan rumbles in his chest as you touch him, a gasp of breath. The sound floods heat to your core.

You wrap your lips around the tip, grabbing hold of his hips to pull him closer as you swallow as much of him as you can. You bob your head, encouraging him to move with you and there is a moment where you can feel the tension in his muscles, the strain in his thighs as he tries to hold back, to keep himself in check.

It doesn’t last long.

He snarls and thrusts forward, snapping his hips and nearly choking you. You splutter, trying to breathe through your nose but Miguel doesn’t give you a second to recover. He pushes forward, the back of your head slamming against the edge of the bed as he plunges deeper and deeper into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat with ease and still not even half way in.

Your grip on his hips tightens and you don’t know if you’re trying to pull him away or urging him on.

It burns, the size of him makes your jaw ache, tears roll down the sides of your cheeks from the force of his relentless thrusts.

His hands dig into the mattress by the side of you head, tearing into the fabric as he pounds into you, fucking your mouth with everything he’s got.

He groans, “yes, baby, yes,” his voice low and barely distinguishable as words.

You do your best to just hold on, to breathe and take as much as you can. The sounds of his moans filling your ears and mind, and god, how you wished you didn’t have a gag reflex and could take him deeper.

He keeps ramming into your mouth, snapping his hips against you with a frenzied energy and you push against his lower back, silently begging him to keep going.

Your neck throbs from discomfort, bruising forming where the skin is repeatedly hitting against the hard outline of the bed frame. Your knees burn from where they continuously rub against the floor with every buck and thrust.

Miguel lets out a short, animalistic cry as he cums down your throat suddenly. You moan against him, trying to swallow all of it but there’s just so, so much. It spills out of the side of your mouth and down your chin despite your best efforts.

He leans forward, breathing hard, his cock still in your mouth. And for a second you think this is it, the sedative will take hold or maybe this mindless lust has come to an end.

But he’s still hard when he pulls himself out of your mouth, his eyes still glazed over with the same madness when he looks down at you. He runs his hand over your chin, the pads of his fingers slightly sharp, and collects some of his spend that hasn’t trickled down your neck and onto your torn shirt and bra. Another item of clothing you’d need to change.

He smears his cum along your cheek, the movement possessive, like he was marking his territory.

There’s a pause, the lull in the eye of the storm before he pulls you up from the ground with a shocking display of strength, moving as if you were no heavier than a glass of water he was eager to drink down.

You can’t help the little yelp of surprise that escapes you as he practically throws you onto the bed, your back hitting the mattress and momentarily knocking the air out of your lungs.

But then he’s on top of you, pressing himself firmly between your legs as he growls and snaps his teeth close to your neck. He bites at your throat, hard enough to break the skin and you cry out as the pain quickly disappears into pleasure.

Your mewls only make his actions more frenzied as he tears your clothes completely off you with a speed that makes your head spin, before removing his own. The material rips so easily, as if he used a blade.

He runs his tongue along your chest, messily cleaning up the cum he’d spilt along you just moments before.

“Miguel-” You try to start, but then his mouth is back on yours, tasting like salt and iron as he drinks down your words to leave you breathless.

You gasp as he breaks away, trailing sloppy kisses down your body, his fingers running over your skin and leaving scratches. He bites your hip partially deeply and you keen, arching up into him as he moans.

“Your so fucking sweet.” He mutters before kissing lower and lower and, oh god. You nearly scream as his lips wrap around your clit and he sucks hard. Pleasure coils tight in your belly as a new wave of wetness leaks out and soaks into the torn up sheets beneath you.

His fingers dig into your thighs as he pushes his face into you, only breaking away so that he can lick through your folds hungrily, devouring you like a starving animal.

“Miguel!” You whine, letting out a series of high pitch moans that sound alien even to your own ears.

He sucks your clit once more, his teeth just grazing across it before he snarls and pulls away, pushing the back of your thighs and pressing them against your chest with a crushing strength.

You struggle to take a breath, barely filling your lungs before he’s thrusting into you with a guttural groan and a sharp snap of his hips.

The size of him hurts, it’s too much, too fast and you gasp in pain. You clench your jaw, your eyes screwing up as your hands fly to his shoulders, trying to push him back even though you know it’s no use against his strength.

But he stops instantly, stilling his movements.

You stare up at him in surprise. His eyes are still dark but there’s something else there, something pushing through that lust haze.

“Pain?” He whispers, sounding the most like his old self that he has since this ordeal began.

You swallow and nod, tears building at the corners of your eyes.

He slowly loosens his grip around your thighs, letting go shakily as if it is taking a lot of self control to do so. And while he doesn’t pull out, he doesn’t thrust in deeper either.

Carefully, he manoeuvres your legs down onto the bed either side of him, watching your face for any sign of increased discomfort. It’s only then that he looks down to where you’re joined, completely split open with only a quarter of his length inside.

He groans lows and you brace yourself for a brutal thrust that never comes. Instead he keeps his hips still as he slowly trails his sharp nails down your stomach, teasing the very edge of your clit before pressing his thumb against it fully.

A small moan escapes you and you clench down instinctively. Miguel hums in approval and starts to slowly circle the bundle of nerves, the touch light and soft as he just borders on the edge of losing control.

The pain starts to dissipate quickly, replaced with a steady continuous build of that deep need from before. You start to squirm. The pressure of his thumb isn’t enough and you rock your hips ever so slightly, your breathing hitching in your throat.

"More?" He whispers.

You nod your head rapidly.

“Thank god.” Miguel sighs, the words mumbled like a prayer almost too quietly for you to hear, and lets some of his weakening control slip.

Slowly he pushes further in, the tension shaking in his thighs as he fights with every instinct to pound you into the mattress and turn you into a crying mess beneath him.

He keeps circling your clit, groaning as feels a fresh wave of wetness leaking out of you.

You moan, grabbing hold of his shoulders. But this time you pull him towards you, urging him deeper. God, he’s big. Already it’s like you can feel him in your throat.

The stretch burns, but it’s good, it feels right. Like he is going to reach a whole new devastating part of you. Make you cum so hard that he’ll ruin any other sexual partner for good.

You hook your left leg on his hip and squeeze your calf over his lower back, encouraging him closer, deeper. While you plant your right foot firmly against the bed to rock up against him.

Miguel groans, his eyes closed. His movements on your clit falter as he slides further in.

There’s a sharp pain in your hip where his left hand holds you tight, his nails (it had to be his nails) dug in so deep that they broke your skin.

You let out a soft whine, clenching around his girth as he presses up against you perfectly and still pushes further in. The pleasure in your stomach tightening and starting to completely overwhelm all other thoughts, urging you to just chase your release.

Tears prick again at the corners of your eyes, a soft emotion beating hard in your chest. And you can’t help yourself, you grab hold of the back of Miguel’s neck, pulling him down towards you and arching up at the same time to kiss him hungrily.

He moans into your mouth, pushing back against you and forcing you into the mattress. His hips snap forward, finally sheathing himself completely in your tight, wet heat.

For a moment it’s like you can’t breathe, so completely full that not even air can enter.

Miguel stills, giving you a moment to adjust as he licks into your mouth and groans as your walls squeeze around his length. His pubis bone presses firmly against your clit, and you can feel the echo of his racing heart beat along his skin.

He breaks the kiss to breathe hard, his eyes closed and forehead pressed against yours. “I can’t… I need to…”

“Please,” you answer desperately, kissing him softly as you start to rock your hips ever so slightly.

Miguel lets out a whine, his eyebrows pinched together in bliss and the expression alone is nearly enough to make you cum on the spot.

“Can’t stop,” he mutters and you're not even sure if he’s aware of what he’s saying anymore as he grabs your wrists in either of his hands and pins them to the bed. “Feels so…” He ruts into you, pulling out so that just the tip of his cock stays inside before slamming back into you. “Fuck. So. Fucking. Tight.”

You wail under him as pleasure runs up your spine and down your legs as he punctuates every thrust with an upwards rock of his hips, continuously rubbing against your clit and pressing the head of his length to that perfect spot inside.

“So. Fucking. Wet.” He growls. His nails are slicing into your wrists, but you don’t care. Can’t care, you’ve lost all ability to feel anything but the glide of his cock and the heady build of your orgasm.

“So. Mine.” He growls and bites down hard on your neck. You cry out, the brutal pace of his hips only increasing, bringing you closer and closer and-

You gasp, his name catching in your throat as you finally cum. Every muscle shaking as it crashes over you in waves.

Miguel tears his mouth away from your neck, blood shining on his lips as he watches you come undone. He moans, his thrusts not faltering for a second.

“That’s it, cum all over me,” he glances down for a moment watching himself disappearing into you, amazed at how well you’re taking him, how tightly your walls are griping him, trying to milk him for all he’s worth. “Squeezing me so tight, oh shit-”

He cums loudly, still pistoning in and out of you as he fills you up with his release. There’s still so much of it, some leaks out, spilling out of your abused hole and sticking to your thighs.

You breathe deeply, your mind foggy from how hard you came. Your legs ache from being stretched so wide, your pussy throbs from overstimulation.

Miguel doesn’t stop, still rock hard and trusting. Pushing his cum deeper into you.

“Miguel,” you whine, your throat raw.

“I can’t-” he bites his lip, “I can’t stop, I need to, fuck, please, I need to-”

You kiss his neck, biting harder than you normally would at his jugular. He whines, the sound going straight to your core. Heat starts to build again.

“Keep going,” you mutter against his skin. “Keep going as long as you need to.”

You wake up sore and sticky. Aching and in pain. Even the slightest movement brings out an array of discomfort. Every muscle throbs, like you had done a year's worth of exercise in one day, and all the bites and scratches sting as you shift, the scrapes making you feel like someone had tossed you naked into a bush of brambles and thorns.

It takes you a moment to remember where you are, the tiredness in your bones trying to coax you back to sleep.

“I’m sorry.”

Miguel’s voice makes you jump. He’s still close to you, laying on his side with his chest pressed up against your back. One arm around your waist. There’s tension there, you know he wants to move away but is scared to move at the same time.

His cock is pressed against your backside, soft and sated.

You turn to look at him, too tired to worry about your nakedness. Besides, he had seen plenty of it anyway.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

He scoffs. His mouth pressed into a thin line as he looks down.

It’s only then as you turn around completely to look at him that you see tears in his eyes. “Miguel?”

You softly touch his cheek but he flinches away from you. The action spikes through your heart. He can’t even look at you now.

“I’ve got everything to be sorry for, I, I took advantage of you, I rap-”

“No, no, no, no,” you can’t help but touch him again, putting your hand back on his cheek and rubbing your thumb soothingly across his skin.

This time he leans into it, letting out the smallest, shaky breath.

“You were infected, Miguel, you couldn’t control yourself. I don’t know how much you remember but the sedative didn’t work, and your heart rate was just, I mean, it was crazy high. And, if anything, I was the one that took advantage of you and-”

His eyes snap open. “You? You took advantage of me?” He says disbelievingly. “Look at you.” He touches the bite marks on your neck gently.

You give him a little smile. “I don’t mind.”

He breathes out another shaky breath, but there’s a hint of a smile. “You don’t mind?”

You shake your head. “Happy to help.”

He chuckles a little at that and nods as he runs a hand through his hair.

There’s a pause, a silence that you can’t stand.

“I guess I was wrong.”

Miguel frowns a little, confused.

“My theory, about people having that reaction if they’re in love, I mean.”

There’s a pause, the only sound a little gulp as Miguel swallows. Something passes over his face for a second, a faint trace of heat rising to his skin.

Oh. Maybe you weren’t wrong.

“Miguel?”

He breathes deeply, looking down. “I-”

You don’t give him a chance to finish, letting your adrenaline overwhelm you as you quickly lean forward and press your lips to his. Hoping against hope that you weren’t misreading the situation.

He’s caught by surprise for a moment, but moans happily and softly kisses you back as his arm wraps around you and pulls you close.

The kiss is slow and gentle, languid and sweet. It makes your stomach drop like you were falling from a great height. His embrace the only thing keeping you safe.

He runs his tongue over your bottom lip lightly, careful of the cuts, but licks into your mouth hungrily the second you part your lips. It’s not the same lustful need from before, this is deeper, sharper and desperate in a different way. As if after devouring your body he now needed to devour your soul.

He kisses you again, lightly before you both pull back for a second. He grins at you, a little shyly and you smile as you stroke his cheek.

“You weren’t wrong.” He muttered.

You frown and shake your head, confused.

He chuckles and kisses you again. “Your theory about love.”

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @solobagginses @romanarose @saturn-rings-writes

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ecoamerica · 24 days

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youtube

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ma1dita · 1 month

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🐥 a lil something for jason grace? just yk him meeting hephaestus!reader for the first time at camp half blood and she's this bubbly girl who befriends everyone cuz that's just how she is and like she offers everyone solutions to material problems like aphrodite kids with vanity mirrors that light up on their own, apollo kids with medical kits that look small outside but has TONS of storage, demeter kids with self watering pots, etc

reader gives him a welcome gift (leo and piper too), a compact watch sword thingy like percy's and jason's like new to this bcs all his life he's been treated like a prince in waiting, a leader most of the time and he hasn't had anyone do something for him cuz its usually him doing things

ooh and a lil bit of leo valdez teasing him bcs of him blushing when she's around cuz reader is his sister basically, same dad and all

Thank you and happy bday again!

🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

jason grace x hephaestus!reader

a/n: this was so cute but pls lmk if i got his character right...i had to reference my irl pjo bestie for this i love this boy

wc: 766

Jason Grace thinks you talk too much.

And too fast. It’s one of the first things he noticed about Camp Half-Blood weirdly enough, besides the nagging feeling that he didn’t belong there. There wasn’t so much as a day where he wouldn’t see you whizzing past campers offering to tinker items to make their lives easier, and he could barely keep up—which says a lot for a boy raised to be a soldier.

It was like you set everything alight, and the flames you left in your midst could not be tamed; everyone was enamored by you, and admittedly, so was he. The son of Jupiter was sure his brain had short-circuited along with everything else going on but all of his worries were dashed when you presented him with a wristwatch shield.

Jason blinks slowly.

“Are you listening? Do you like it? I can change the finish on it or scrap it completely if you don’t think it’s cool, or maybe it's too big? Let me see your wrist—Jace?”

You wave your hand in his face before grabbing his arm, encircling his wrist with the metal links to make sure your creation fits him comfortably.

Too torn between the predicament of being raised by fucking wolves and training for a war that no one knows the start date of, Jason Grace has not had too much time to acquaint himself with the matters of the heart. So in his eyes, this poor sweetheart thought your welcome gift was the equivalent of a marriage proposal, or something like that…

Your half-sibling Leo thought this was hilarious of course, his teasing grin stoking the fire in the pit of Jason’s stomach when he asked to see it. The blond boy was gentle with your gift, shaking his head at the notion that it meant anything, that you were just kind to everyone, and nothing about it whatsoever makes him special.

Okay buddy…

So of course when you came to confront him about Leo’s taunting that had reached all of the inhabitants of cabin 9 (and the armory, and the counselors, and even Chiron and Mr. D—the biggest gossips of Camp Half-Blood), Jason Grace, a boy who usually has his shit together, was reduced to the phenomenon of being an embarrassed teenager with a crush.

You were standing a little too close for his liking and even if he towered over you, the blaze in your eyes could incite fear in the gods.

“Just because I'm nice and do things for you doesn’t mean that I like you, Jason Grace,” you say adamantly as you cross your arms over your chest. He notices the smudge of soot on your cheekbone, and thinks it looks quite pretty against your complexion.

“Of course.”

“I gave you the wristwatch shield as a welcome gift,” you say next, to which he nods since it’s a fact.

“Of course, I didn’t mea—”

“I mean you’re always protecting others, so I thought someone should protect you for a change,” you mutter, watching him scratch the nape of his neck as your smile spreads like gasoline touched by a lit match. He can’t help but embrace the burn (His serious demeanor is broken by the smile on his face, so big that it almost hurts).

“But you are right, I do like you. Suppose we’ll have to do something about that.”

Thinking hard about the confession that left your mouth, you look like you’re working through a methodical problem to solve— finding the missing piece to a puzzle instead of making the son of Jupiter's face heat up like a thousand suns. He reckons there’s an ambush inside of him as something starts to work harder than usual, not his brain overridden by battle tactics and that of survival— but his heart, beating fast like a well oiled machine (and more importantly like a normal teenage boy).

Jason reaches out to rub the soot away from your cheek, but when you pull him in by the collar of his shirt to kiss him, he finds himself to be stained by you all the same.

#jo's 23rd birthday bash ⋆｡°✩#jason grace x reader #pjo x reader #hoo x reader #jason grace fluff #made by ma1dita ♥︎#heroes of olympus x reader #for my gn babies (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

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forbidden-sunlight · 8 months

Text

yandere!dark schneider with shinobu!reader headcanons

Warnings: obsessive behavior, isekai!au, manga spoilers, dubious consent, aged up!reader (reader is in early twenties), Lucien and Yoko are 17-18 years old, violence, and blood.

There may also be possible triggers in this story.

If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please hit the 'back' button on your device or computer and read something much more pleasant than a possible series of unfortunate events.

Hey guys, welcome to these headcanons, featuring the handsome, arrogant wizard Dark Schneider of the Netflix's anime series Bastard!! Heavy Metal, Dark Fantasy and the character!reader who is Shinobi Kocho from the beloved world of Demon Slayer aka Kimetsu no Yaiba! :)

Special thanks to @anniespostssworld for helping me bounce back ideas and scenarios that would work best for these headcanons, so this dedicated to them and to all of the other fellow Bastard!! fans.

If you haven't seen either of these shows, I highly recommend them as to me, they are well worth watching and give me a good laugh after a particularly long day at work. Please bear in mind that Bastard!! might not be suited for everyone and does have some moments that may not be ideal for photosensitive viewers.

If you would like to see a fluffier version of these headcanons, I will leave a link to them here.

If you'd like me to write more for the Bastard!! world just let me know in a comment or message.

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and let's dive into this world of heavy metal rock, magic, and utter mayhem :)

Although you will never get used to being dressed up like this, the dark leathers that were strapped across your body protected you from the chilly morning air.

Draped in colors ranging from chocolate brown to soft tan, your legs were covered by dark pants and knee-high buckled boots. The upper half of this outfit consisted of a double-layered tunic that was lighter shade than the top layer, an onyx-dyed vest, with an iron breastplate. The sleeves were usually pushed up to your elbows, keeping your hands free to work uninhibitedly, though when working with herbs or chemicals, your fingers would be protected by a pair of dark gloves. Pinned to the back of your head was a butterfly-shaped barrette. Hanging around your neck was a frayed reminder of the life you once had; the tattered remains of your sister’s white butterfly patterned haori, that still carried the scent of wisteria and the longing to be wrapped up in Kanae’s arms just one more time.

It was hard to believe today marked the five-year anniversary since your arrival in the kingdom of Meta-llicana. Here in this world, you were not the Insect Hashira who had died in battle against Douma but an apothecary who worked under the royal family. You navigated through the intricate spider-web of the aristocracy and politics who stared at you in contempt or envy for being a ‘self made commoner’ with a polite smile and wave of your hand. When there was silence in the castle, you read yellowed scrolls and brittle-paged texts alike over candlelight, trying to expand on your pharmaceutical knowledge in this world with what you currently knew as the primary healer of the Demon Slayer Corps.

Those nerves of steel were exceptionally helpful when a plague swept over this country from the West and you were arguing with stubborn medical practitioners who believed they were more knowledgeable and experienced than you were to handle the situation simply because of your age and gender.

Ah, it took a lot of self control to refrain yourself from snapping their necks and hiding their bodies~.

And all of these events occurred within just two years. My, my!

Between attending to patients and self-studying, you found a blacksmith in town who was willing to take a look at your broken ninichirin blade. Although the pieces were kept together inside a lacquered box that would cost a years’ salary for a farmer, the places you had gone to previously were either booked for the next several months, or did not want to do business with an outsider. He took one look at it and asked you to give him five gold coins, and he’ll fix it in one week. An expensive fee, but you did not see the harm in giving him a chance; after all, he was willingly to give you a chance, so that must mean something in this world, did it not?

Within the promised time frame, not only had he repaired your sword by melting magic stones mined from the nearby mountains and forging it into the existing blade but he had also thrown in a scabbard made from shimmering red dragon scales; light as a feather, but extremely durable and fireproof. That was how you made your fourth acquaintance in this world.

The first three were High Priest Geo and his two children, Yoko and Lucien, who had found you wandering the outskirts of the kingdom and nursed you back to health.

If Meta-llicana were to fall into the clutches of the Dark Rebel Army, you could put your life on the line to protect them. Although….was it odd that an eighteen-year-old young man like Lucien Renlen was much shorter than you, or how he still came to the palace before dawn arrived just to help you collect herbs in the forest behind the palace, a sacred area that was only accessible to very few people outside of the royal family?

Yoko kept teasing you that he finally had a crush on a pretty girl who worked in the palace, but you weren’t amused. You might still be considered much younger than twenty-three because you were still shorter than most of the tall, regal ladies in the palace, Lucien should seek out other girls than the ones he only socializes with. However, you weren’t his caretaker and had no control over his life as Yoko seemingly had as his surrogate sister and a temporary guardian when her father was away from the country.

‘[First Name]!”

Blinking, you looked away from the basket of herbs by your feet and glanced over your shoulder to see Lucien running towards you, red-faced and smiling….holding a fistful of poison ivy instead of the lily of the valley that you asked him to look for since the flowers on your desk were starting to dry up.

You never would have realized that this simple, innocent boy whom you adored was the reincarnation of humanity’s most evil wizard: Dark Schneider.

The dark sorcerer Osborn attacked Meta-llicana with an army of hobgoblins, werewolves, ogres, and many other monsters. His objective was to remove the kingdom’s sacred magic that sealed away the power of the demon god Anthrasax, no matter the cost. But you nor the knights who were the last line of the castle’s defense would allow such an evil to be reawakened again.

It had been a good thing that you resumed training in secret as soon as your sword had been fixed. Let others think that the blade strapped to your hip was just for show. After all, there is no better opportunity to reveal your skills than a smoky battlefield~.

To your mild surprise Bon Jovia, the captain of the knights, did not reprimand nor mock you as you landed gracefully on the blood-soaked ground, incapacitating a frothing werewolf with the Butterfly Dance: Caprice, Illusionary Light. Instead, he thanked you for saving him and his men before pleading for your assistance with keeping the oncoming hordes from getting on the drawbridge. You smiled, saying you were more than happy to oblige…just be aware that you might cause just a little bit of damage to the castle if things get a little tough.

He nodded and barked orders at the men under his command to cover any incoming attacks aimed at you so that you could focus on the bigger, more powerful monsters. Between their formations and Insect Breathing, the creatures did not get on the drawbridge…and yet that son of bitch Osborn managed to get inside the castle through a secret entrance that only the royal family and the priests knew about.

You felt an ache in the back of your throat. Yoko and Lucien were in the castle, hiding from the madness and now these bastards were coming for them and Princess Sheila. Cursing under your breath, you darted down the flight of underground stairs, brandishing your sword and ignoring the shouting from behind. But as you continued to veer from left to right, following only your instinct and the light of the torches wedged into the stone walls, you heard footsteps behind you. Ara, ara, It seems like you weren’t going into the fight alone, after all.

One of the knights that was certainly not the captain eventually caught up with you and took the lead, guiding you and the others straight to the statue of the fertility goddess beneath the chapel. But just when the knight carefully and slowly pushed it to the right, there was a sudden scream. He wanted to close it in case there was an enemy close by, but you were not allowing that to happen. Instead, you persuaded him to move the statue just enough to see what was going on.

And as it turned out, staying hidden was the best choice; because instead of the royal family, or your precious friends being killed by demons, the demons were being slaughtered by a very powerful, and a very naked man with white hair screaming odd words in an extremely loud voice.

Damned!

Shumega…megadeath

Sodom!

Your eyes widened in shock as torrents of hellfire and lightning erupted from the man’s palms, eliminating the ogres and other demons in a single blow. Although he destroyed them…that bastard had the nerve to eliminate Osborn with a Venom spell, roasting the son of a bitch when you wanted to make him suffer with a vial of an experimental poison hidden in your pocket.

The knight bursted to the surface when the threat had been eliminated, his comrades following close behind to check on the priests and the royal family. You immediately went to Yoko’s side, pulling her to you and pointing your sword at the mysterious man possessing bushy brows and sharp blue irises who couldn’t keep his hands off of your friend. You smiled at him.

“Ara, ara, you’re quite familiar with Yoko…but I must ask that you refrain yourself from being too familiar with her, unless,” You lowered your blade to his balls. “You’d like for me to permanently remove a part of your anatomy?”

The man stared at you with fear and arousal dancing in those wild blue irises, his hands instinctively covering his precious cargo. Yoko tugged on the frayed edges of your haori.

“D-Don’t do that, [First Name]! That’s Lucien! Dark Schneider is Lucien!”

You blinked in shock, the smile on your face slowly falling away as you absorbed Yoko’s words. Lucien, the sweet young man….Lucien Renlen was the second identity of the dark wizard, Dark Schneider? There were two identities sharing the same body? What?!

This….this was too much. Crocodile tears threatened to prick the corner of your eyes. How in heaven’s name did this even happen? Why does such a cliche troupe always occur in shounen manga? Wait, why are you thinking like this?! You thought, reluctantly sheathing your blade back into its inky scabbard at your hip.

Amidst the chaos and confusion, Yoko noticed Dark Schneider leaving the chapel and went after him.

You wanted to follow her…but there were people here who needed medical attention, whether you liked it or not. Your oath to help those in need kept you from protecting your friend from a potentially dangerous bastard. You just prayed Yoko knew what she was doing. You knew she was strong…but did she have enough magic to protect herself from a capricious man like Dark Schneider? You shook your head, and began tending to one of knights who had been in here protecting the others.

As it turned out, she didn’t need much protection from Dark Schneider because she had returned less than an hour later to the chapel with Lucien draped in armor and dark clothes twice in size, staring at you in confusion and happiness.

Yoko’s abbreviated version of events went something like this: To release Dark Scneider, a virgin maiden’s kiss and the recital of a spell called Accept were the requirements. Yoko fulfilled at the behest of the priests, even when three of them had been the ones to leak the blueprints of the castle to Osborn in exchange for their loyalty to the Dark Rebel Army so long as they were spared from the slaughter. But they were the ones that Osborn killed first before he ordered his ogres to attack Princess Sheila and her father, the king of Meta-llicana.

Dark Schneider got rid of them because he owed a debt to Yoko, tried to leave so he could begin his plans for world domination, but when he gave her a farewell kiss, the dark wizard ended up being sealed up inside Lucien again.

Well…not what you were expecting, but you were glad that she and Lucien had come back to Meta-llicana unscathed. You had hoped that this would be the first and only time you would cross paths with Dark Schneider.

Unfortunately, not even a month after Osborn’s assault, another general from the Dark Rebel Army came barrelling through the kingdom with a five-headed hydra. And this time, Yoko did not want to relieve the embarrassment of watching everyone kiss her adopted little brother again. Nor did she want to release Dark Schneider in fear that he would try to kill her father now that he had returned home from his journey in another land.

Geo had been the one who sealed Dark Schneider inside Lucien as soon as he was reborn, when the war fifteen years ago ended with the wizard’s loss against the deceased crown prince and the older brother of Princess Sheila, Lars Ul Meta-llicana.

The High Priest scoffed. “It’s a kiss. Stop overreacting.”

“Are you really gonna talk to your own daughter that way?!” Yoko shrieked in the king’s audience chamber as the priests began to panic at the thought that their city, their Meta-llicana, will truly fall into the hands of the Dark Rebel Army unless Dark Schneider was reawakened. You frowned slightly. Geo did raise a valid point in his spiel about the demon god and the Hydra Wizards were, according to some reading you had done on them after the Osborne incident, able to adapt to spells unique to monsters and their summoners. And if you were honest with yourself, which you were….you doubted that you could rally some troops again to help combat this fiend.

The Hydra is infamous not only for having multiple heads and being able to breathe fire. Its scales were just as durable as a dragon’s, which means that your blade could very well break before it could slice through an artery.

You smiled through the unease piling up in the back of your throat when you raised your hand. “I’ll do it.” You said. “I’ll perform the ceremony in Yoko’s place. You just need a virgin who knows white magic, yes? I can do some, if only to accelerate healing and create small barriers.” It was true. You had learned a little magic since coming to this world, but you preferred not to use it that often because overexertion can take a toll on the human body. You honestly did not think you could even do such a feat until you unintentionally used it to heal a scrape on Lucien’s knee a year ago.

Geo blinked, brows furrowing. “Are you sure?”

You nodded. “Mm. It is as you say, a kiss is just a kiss…with the exception of Princess Sheila’s case. If she were to perform the spell instead, then it would be seen as a sign that she takes Lucien as a husband. A kiss in the royal family cannot be given out unless it is in the sacred name of marriage. Or am I wrong, High Priest?”

He shook his head. “You are correct. And we cannot waste time with honor nor matters of purity when the enemy is closing in. Follow my instructions, and we will awaken Dark Schneider.”

You bowed your head. “As you wish.”

Yoko tried to protest, saying it wasn’t right for you to take on this burden when she is a high priestess-in-training and more qualified to do the Accept spell, but you shook your head.

“Ara, ara, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just a kiss. If that is the price to save this kingdom and to protect your honor, then I will do so. Everything will be alright.” You smiled. “Trust me, Yoko.”

You then knelt in front of Lucien, smiling still as you asked him to come sit with you on the carpeted floor. The boy, bless him, followed your instructions without question and blinked, glancing back at Yoko for a brief moment before he refocusing his attention onto you. You reached forward and placed your palm over his own, which rested on his right knee. “Don’t worry, Lucien. Just relax and close your eyes for me, okay?”

He nodded, his face flushing slightly as he followed your request. Geo stood behind you, reciting the words slowly as you leaned forward, cupping Lucien’s cheek with your other hand.

“Accept this. In the name of Ino Mata, our beloved goddess of beauty, let this seal be broken.”

With the last syllable spoken, you gently pressed your mouth against the vessel of Dark Schneider’s.

A torrent of white lightning and black-blue miasma suddenly surrounded Lucien. The seal was broken. The bastard was waking up again to be used as a shield against the enemies of Meta-llicana's ….even when no one has the right to control a living thing, animal or person.

But when you pulled away, scrambling to put some distance between yourself and the wizard as the transformation began, you were tugged back towards him, your mouth colliding against his again. Fangs and tongue ran along your lips, begging to explore it. You tried to get away, yet your feeble strength did nothing to save you when Dark Schneider bit your bottom lip hard enough to draw droplets of blood and a pained gasp.

This single moment granted the bastard an opportunity to kiss you senseless, making it last as possible before he pulled away. A string of saliva had been created from this unholy union, the only evidence that the kiss even happened. However, Dark Schneider swallowed its remains in a single gulp, and swiped his rancid tongue over your mouth one more, cleaning up the mess he made as he grinned down at you.

“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” He purred.

You wanted to punch this son of a bitch. You wanted to cut off his testicles and stuff them in a jar so that he could never reproduce. You wanted him gone, and your Lucien back. Yet why is it…that when this bastard gazes at you, there is an urge to run away and never look back?

That is because from this very moment, you are all that Dark Schneider will want and ever need in the world. When you kissed him, you made him realize as both Lucien Renlen and Dark Schneider that you were the one he really loves, not Yoko. The Great Priest’s daughter might have treated him well over these past fifteen years, but Yoko did not treat his wounds or sneak candy into his pocket with a secretive smile. No matter how much he complained, you were there. You were always there for him.

Now, he will never let you out of his sight. He will cherish and treat you with the respect you had deserved for all you had done for this kingdom, to these ungrateful assholes. And once he has conquered the world, he will make you his queen and the bearer of his children.

No matter where you go or where you try to hide, he will always find you.

Taglist:

@cassanderasblog

@anniespostssworld

@currentlyinhell

@xoxo-shy

@denisered252

@justamegafan

@mitra555

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year

Text

Butterfly III

a/n Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reads and who interacts. Means so much! Let this be a little birthday gift from me to you!!

summary: When Joel thinks that his life is over his little butterfly sends him a new reason to stay alive. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to love but when you are the meaning of love itself how can he not fall.

Chapter I and II can be found on my blog. Tumblr ain't letting me add links to posts.

warnings: mention of vomiting, past trauma, pats accidents, forceful substance use.

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"Do I add this as well?", Ellie asked, picking up yet another can and showing it to you. You turned slightly towards her, but your eyes didn't even seem to meet the thing she was holding as you hummed. "Good, although I thought you would chase me for this one around the kitchen as well," Ellie chirped, teasing, but nothing happened. When you had just stepped into the house from the garage, the smile you had on your face seemed to hide the hurt almost completely, yet the more time passed, the more your face grew darker.

Ellie shifted awkwardly, not sure if she was supposed to comfort you now or if it was better to just let it be. She had seen you upset with Joel only once before, and even that didn't compare to this. The first time you brought her to your apartment in QZ, you had talked Joel's head off. Talked, not shouted. And your eyes didn't look so lifeless. Ellie wondered if you even knew that you were still holding onto canned ravioli and a tiny knife as you stared ahead.

The girl shivered slightly, stepping closer to you and reaching for the knife, muttering something about a sticky surface. "Ah, yes, sorry," you said as you turned to hand her the blade, your gaze falling to the floor. Ellie wanted to speak up again, maybe with a joke even, but you quickly ran your hands through your hair. "Would you be good on your own for a bit? I'll… go to the bathroom, and then I'll finish this," you muttered after taking a deep breath in. Ellie nodded quickly, stepping out of your way, but as you moved to walk past her, she caught your hand. "Everything is okay, right?", the girl asked quietly, and you once again bit the inside of your cheek but managed to pull a cold smile on your face as you cupped her cheek gently, making her smile at you in return.

Locking the door behind you, you slowly slid down the door. Cold tiles hitting your palms. The voice inside your head kept screaming at you to keep going. To not let this hurt you, but how could it not? You loved that old fucker. You loved him so much, and because of that, you chose to give him space and not tell him anything. No emotional attachments - Joel had warned you the first time you two crossed the line from being two broken people sharing an apartment to something way more.

In the beginning, you told yourself that the attraction that suddenly blossomed in your chest was simply the aftermath of being touch-starved for so long. That it was nothing but an orgasmic illusion. A pink fluffy cloud, that would eventually dissolve into grey nothingness. But there was something more. In those moments when Joel would slip up. Where the comfort you brought him would be enough to make him forget that he was supposed to not care for a minute.

"What are you doing, woman?", the apartment was dark, only the street lights casting yellow shadows across the place. You curved your hips, moving your hands to the side as you twirled like a snake. A bottle of hard liquor in your hand. "Dancing," you mumbled, brushing your hands over your body as Joel continued to watch you from the bed. "There's no music," he said coldly. "Use your imagination. Oh right, it's rusted; gears don't turn anymore," you chittered back, taking a sip from the bottle in your hands. You both had a successful day. A huge pile of ration cards lay on the kitchen table. That was a big victory nowadays. Meaning that starvation won't be knocking on your doors any time soon.

"At least put something on; it's cold here," Joel said bitterly, yet a gleam of concern was there. You could sense it. "Look at you giving a fuck, Joel," you cooed at him, stepping closer to that bed as he motioned for you to hand him the glass bottle. "I don't, but you'll get sick, and then good luck getting better," you just roll your eyes at his words. You watched Joel take a sip, his arm muscles flexing as he brought the bottle closer to his lips. You were so caught up in him that you didn't even notice when Joel caught you by the hand and dragged you on top of him. With a shriek, you let him carefully flop you onto the bed before he towered over you, wrapping a blanket that covered his body over your body instead.

You let out a playful giggle. Even in the dim light, you could see Joel's sidelong grin. "You're way too beautiful for your own good," he muttered quietly, studying your face, fingers carefully tracing the side of your jaw. "Did Mr. I have no feelings, just call me beautiful?", you said teasingly after letting out a gasp. Joel only gave you a side eye, but the smile was there. Evidently there. No one could convince you otherwise. "Sorry, meant unbearable," you moved to hit his chest, but Joel grabbed your wrist and kissed you along the pattern of the butterflies.

A hand came up to quickly cover your mouth as a sob slipped past your lips. You knew that the sensible thing to do was turn on the faucet and let the water absorb the sounds of your cries, but you couldn't. Couldn't find the strength to get up. Couldn't find the strength to care. You were fragile. Always have been. Just having someone like Joel by your side made you childishly believe that you could concur the world. Now your only hope was that the bathroom was far away and that the sound would not reach the ears of anyone who might be inside.

But it was not, and the moment the pained cries echoed through the house, Ellie's head snapped towards the bathroom. A cold shiver ran down her back. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to react. Ellie never had a family. Parents. She had never seen one in action. It was truly stupid, but there were moments where she found herself imagining that you two were her parents. It was a weird family, honestly, but Ellie had heard other kids say that their fathers were always the cold ones. She knew clinging to either of you was dangerous. People leave. They leave all the time. They especially abandon her. Another cry echoed, and Ellie quickly took off.

Joel hasn't moved. Standing in the middle of the garage and murdering the only victim he had—the wall that towered in front of him. Did he regret it? Yes. Was he going to apologize? No. There were many moments in your ten years together where he knew he should have said those words. Where he should have said sorry. But you had clicked back together as if nothing had happened. If you let it slide, he did as well. Joel's main excuse was that this was not a normal world. There were no longer the same rules that applied. But he knew deep down that before all of this nonsense happened. Before Sarah died. He would have never allowed himself to treat a woman like that. That was not how he was raised. Not how he would have allowed Sarah to be treated.

Joel stepped outside. The sun warmed his skin, but his heart was nothing but an ice block. He stopped by the door, fidgeting with the handle like a kid who had gotten in trouble and was afraid to own up to what he had done. Now more than ever, Joel wished he had stayed in the garage. The exact moment his eyes fell on Ellie, who was sitting under the table with her hands covering her ears, pressing so hard that her skin was practically turning white. Bottom lip quivering. Joel instantly moved closer to her, but not even a step later halted when he heard the weeping.

A shiver ran down Joel's back. That kind of shiver made the ends of your fingers tingle. That kind of shiver made your skin feel wet and clammy. He had disappointed you before. Made you snarl at him. But never cry. Joel expected tears from you often, especially at the beginning of your days together. But even if a slight gleam of tears would hurt your eyes, you would never, ever have had a single tear roll down your cheek. His heart twisted at the sound.

Stepping closer to the table, Joel reached for Ellie. The girl jumped at the sudden touch, not expecting it since her eyes had been closed and her ears were covered. Joel was glad he had pressed his other palm to the top of her head, expecting her to threat and jump up in the process. His actions shielded her from banging her head on the table. "Go upstairs, close the door," Joel said firmly after he drew Ellie from under the table. Once Ellie was on her feet, Joel paid her no mind as he strode towards the bathroom door. He fidgeted and brushed his fingers against one another as he contemplated his next move. This was a breaking point neither of you had reached before. Joel knew you needed him. You needed him to shoot anyone who might attack you. He needed you to protect him as well. Needed your calculated brain. Needed your medical knowledge.

You felt like you couldn't breathe. The tightness in your chest seemed to only grow. Your initial hope that letting out the frustration in tears would help was not enough. Not enough now that Joel has ripped open all the wounds that you have been carefully patching up for years. "Open the door", a sob broke down in your throat at the sound of a sharp voice. Followed by a harsh banging on the door. Your cries were silent. Gulping air as you tried to ease your breathing. "I won't repeat myself," "Get fucked, Joel!", you yelled back, standing up carefully and leaning onto the sink.

You were afraid to open your eyes and see how pudgy they were. But you did. And here it was: a scared, lonely, abandoned woman. One who always needed protection. At least, that's what every man you met told you. A no one. "Fucking, Y/N, open up, or I'll break the doors," Joel's voice echoed again, but you paid it no mind. You didn't need him. You didn't need anyone. You had survived on your own. Blinking your eyes, you looked up again. But now, instead of you, it was Ellie's reflection that you saw. Instead of you, it was her. Her being torn piece by piece. No, you couldn't allow that to happen. You backed away quickly, forgetting the shelves behind as your body collided with them, sending different products, bottles, and random trinkets falling to the floor.

Joel's mind went numb at the sound of that. "Y/N, Y/N," he yelled frantically, as he pushed his body against the door. Slamming his shoulder onto the wooden surface. He had been in a position like this before, and it was more than enough to awaken the same fears. You knew each other's history. Well, at least the biggest chunks of it. Nobody ever truly puts themselves on display. It required too much.

Joel will never forget the evening he arrived home earlier than he was supposed to, and may all powers above be praised for it. The doors were broken, and Joel pulled his gun out in an instant. The apartment was a mess. Drops of blood covered the floor. Bootprints were all around the place, but the room now seemed quiet. Joel rounded the corner, noticing the light coming from the bathroom. He would have shouted your name, but in case someone was still there, it was better to approach them in silence.

Yet no one was there; it was only you. You were lying on the ground. There were shredded pieces of broken glass everywhere, and there was way too much blood. "Y/n ", Joel let go of the gun as he kneeled to you, turning your body so you would be on your back. Your forehead had a big cut, and there were tiny bits of glass glistening up there as well. But it was the pale, almost blueish color of your skin that worried Joel the most. You were somewhat conscious, yet it was easy to see that something other than the beating had happened here. You muttered something under your breath. But Joel shook his head as he leaned closer to you, "A what? What is it?", he questioned again, hoping you had enough strength to guide him. "P-p-pi-ll-s", you breathe out, hands messily knocking the empty bottle on your side. Terror rushed through Joel. Someone must have forced-fed you those. A whole bottom, if not more. As he moved towards the toilet, Joel picked you up, pulling your body against his. "Open up," he said frantically, not waiting for you to respond or follow through with his orders as Joel shoved his fingers down your throat. You let out a loud gag before all of your stomach content came up.

Joel held onto your the whole time. One hand pushes back your hair, the other loosely wrapped around your jaw. Yet even minutes after you vomited, he wasn't satisfied with the amount of content that left your body, "Come on, you need to get it out of your system, love." You tried to fight his fingers, which once again inched towards your lips, but you simply did not have enough strength.

That night, Joel finalized the thought that you couldn't love him. And if you did, he wouldn't allow it. Because the second-most important person in his life was on the verge of dying. He was almost too late. Joel couldn't afford to lose you. Couldn't be the reason you were in danger. He couldn't be the reason someone might point a gun your way. No, even if he wanted nothing more than to allow himself to be yours, he couldn't. The price was too high.

The door cracked in two, and Joel showed his hand through the hole, fidgeting with the lock from inside. He practically fell into the bathroom, frantically looking for you. Memories were still swirling around. Still imposing that same old threat. You just stood there holding onto the wall, watching the broken pieces beneath you. Jole stepped through it all, even if you reached out your hand to stop him. Not wanting him to injure himself while striding on all of the sharp objects. But Joel didn't care. Catching your face between his hands while watching you. Breathing heavily and watching you. You were here. You were alive. Joel's hands moved to examine your body, but you pushed his hands away.

His pleading eyes met yours. You knew he needed this. That's how he chased his demons away. But who was going to chase yours? Your hands came in contact with his chest. A light shove. Then another one. Then your hands formed into fists as you hit his chest. Joel did nothing. He just stood there, letting you do what you wanted. What you needed to do. "Fight back your shit," you spat at him, hitting him again but he was doing nothing. Angry tears fell from your eyes. Slipping down your flushed cheeks. "Fucking, Joel," you cried out, taking his shirt between your fingers and tugging, but he just watched you. You let out yet another cry, legs bucking as the last ounce of frustration seeped from your body.

Joel's arms were right there immediately. Holding you up and closer to him. Even if you tried to push away, Joel only held you tighter. Pressing your head closer to his chest as you shook. His eyes looked up at the ceiling in the hope of keeping his own tears from falling. "It's unfair", you crocked out, "I know, I know, love, and it's all on me", Joel said calmly. God knew he didn't want to let go of you. Ever. "I care about you," he whispered slowly, even though he knew this wasn't the time. This would only make it worse. You snorted, slowly pushing away from him, "Do you, now, do you?". Joel nodded almost shyly as if he wasn't believing himself. "Really? Cause it looks to me that you care only when it's fitting for you", crossing your hands over your chest, you stepped away from him, Joel let out a frustrated sigh.

"You don't know half the stuff", he followed you out of the bathroom, "Yes, the usual. You don't know. You don't understand. You haven't lived. Anything else?" You twirled your hand in the air, heading towards the stairs. That's when you noticed Ellie. Big, glistening eyes staring at you. She was trembling. Your face fell, especially when you heard Joel grumbling right behind you. When he came into view, you raised your hand firmly, "We won't be doing this in front of Ellie; she heard enough." Joel's cold features returned as he gaped at the girl. "She's irrelevant", "She's a child. Would you do this in front of Sarah?" The words slipped out of your mouth, and you knew straight away that this was not the way to go about this. Poking and stabbing each other in the most painful places was a low behavior at most.

"You selfish bitch", Joel stepped closer to you as you move away, back hitting the wall. "You're walking on a really thin ice", his finger was angrily pointing at you, but once he got in a couple of steps distance from you, Ellie slipped right in front of you. The knife she was fidgeting with earlier on was now pointed right at Joel.

It was easy to see she found Joel's behavior threatening, but… Your fingers slipped up Ellie's hand, gently holding onto her wrist, making her lower the blade. "He would never harm any of us, bug," you said softly, your eyes moving back to Joel, who just stood there frozen. "El, sweetheart, Joel would never lift a hand", you pulled her closer to your chest, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "You…", she muttered", "You stay away because I don't care about you just as much you don't care about me", Ellie's words were trembly, but her now angry eyes pierced right through Joel. He said nothing. Watching Ellie for a moment before turning around and leaving with a harsh slam on the door.

Joel returned way past midnight. In the dark, quickly opened the first can he found. Not bothering to warm it up as he forced it down. The fact that Joel knew that Sarah would be shaking her head at him now only made the tension worse. Joel ran a hand over his face, putting pressure on the throbbing temples. You would hate your old guy, wouldn't you? - he thought to himself, looking at the broken watch on his wrist.

Joel wasn't surprised when he didn't find you in your shared bed. That for him, however, meant cold sheets, a restless night, and more thoughts that only you seemed to keep at bay. He crept towards Ellie's room. Pushing the handle as quietly as possible as he opened the door. The nightlight he had made last night was giving him a clear vision of the room. You had both of your arms wrapped around the girl. Spooning Ellie as she clung to your arms as if the whole world depended on you. Both of you looked peaceful. Joel draped another blanket over both of your legs. Kissing the three of his middle fingers before pressing them to your forehead. Not daring to lean in to kiss you.

He didn't allow himself to watch you even for a moment. Instantly turning to check the window before stepping into the hallway. Joel didn't close the door fully. He needed to be able to hear in case something happened. Sinking on the edge of the bed, he found himself wondering if he should just sit outside the room you two were in instead. Most importantly, he blamed himself for giving in to the desire to touch the butterfly. He should have admired you from afar. Now even if all was fair in love and war, Joel had lost them both, and now there was nowhere he could hide. Now he'll have to pay the price, and it was going to be a big one.

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller the last of us #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine

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agentwhiskeysdarlin · 1 year

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Reunited

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: TLOU typical violence, mentions of injury, pain medication use, outbreak night events (from readers pov), sorry to the Joel and Tess shippers out there, Sarah’s death, angst but fluff

Word Count: 4k

Author’s Notes: FINALLY BACK!!! This writers block didn’t last nowhere near as long as the last one and it feels good to be typing this right now. I do think in the future I will intentionally take January off to reset and rest my brain. I hope everyone has been well!! This is my first ever Joel fic so please be nice!! Thanks to @clint-aww-no-barton as always! With a new wave of fans coming in if you want to be added (or removed) from my taglist please please let me know!!

ao3 link

The world was so broken. It had been like this for 20 years now, but every single time you moved outside of the walls of a city it hit you all over again. You panted as you moved one foot in front of the other, pain shooting up your left leg with each step. Boston was now maybe a mile away in front of you. You paused, taking it in, before making yourself keep moving. Finally you were in view of guards who came rushing to you, guns drawn as usual.

“I’m not sick,” your voice betrayed you as you raised your arms.

“Any exposed injuries?!” One guard yelled from the distance they kept.

“No,” you spoke shaking your head with your word. “I think my left leg is broken somewhere. I’m not sure. I just know it hurts like hell.”

The guards came to you then, calmly, which was not something you experienced often. You knew all the normal procedures that came next, but you couldn’t care less, you just wanted off your feet. They took you to a room once you crossed the walls, patted you down and scanned you, green shining back into the dim room.

“Well, looks like you’re not sick. I’ll get someone to look at that leg.” One of the guards spoke with a sweeter tone than most.

“Thank you,” your words came out soft and full of exhaustion.

Water and a sandwich was shoved into your hands, which you devoured. The moment you took your last sip of water, a man walked in who was definitely a doctor.

“What did you do to it?” He spoke softly as he moved your leg slightly.

You let out a scream at the pain that shot through you, the guard in the room jumping.

“Do that again and I’ll kick you in the face,” you spoke through gritted teeth.

“I do have to do my job,” he snapped back eyeing you with a sharp look.

“I did it after I left the last place I was at. I was being chased by infected and tripped. I was in pain but I had to get up and keep going.”

“Well good news is, it’s not broken but you do have a severe strain, maybe even torn ligaments. I’m going to wrap it up but once you get into a room I want you off it.”

“Yeah like that’s going to happen. We don’t have the luxury of things like resting anymore.”

“You do and will.”

You rolled your eyes but braced yourself as he started to wrap your leg. Your knuckles turned white and you swore you were going to break your teeth as you clenched them through the pain.

“Come on I’ll take you to the apartment building you’ll be staying in,” the guard who had been keeping watch since you got here started to help you from the table.

“Easy easy.”

You wrapped your arm around her and she held you tight against her as the two of you started to walk slowly and carefully. You were mostly silent as she walked you through the city. It all looked the same as the other cities you had lived, in just different faces. Eyes watched you, people paused as you passed by. A new person was in their midst and she was being helped by a guard. Finally the two of you came to the building and slowly made your way up the stairs inside.

“I need a minute,” you panted as you backed yourself up against a wall just inside.

You rested your head back on the wall and closed your eyes, trying to calm your breathing and pounding heart rate. The pain still coursing through you had only slightly subsided thanks to the wrap now on it. You were going to have to find out how to get pain medication around here and soon.

“You think you can move again?” The guard spoke and with your eyes still closed you nodded your head.

The next few moments seemed to move in slow motion. Your eyes opened and before you could even push yourself off the wall you saw him. There was no mistaking him even after all these years. You felt tears spring into your eyes almost too shocked to speak.

“Joel?”

His name came out softer than you wanted but he still stopped dead in his tracks and then turned to you. You could see the hardness like armor around him but his face went from tensed to shocked. His eyes met yours and you could tell he couldn’t find his words. So many emotions came crashing over you and you wanted to fall to the ground, you wanted to cry but more than anything you wanted his arms wrapped around you. To be sure he was real. You pushed yourself off the wall and the two of you stood there for too long just looking at each other. No doubt he was thinking the same as you. Were you dreaming? You knew you weren’t. This was real. After all this time you had found your way back to each other just as you promised that night.

*outbreak night*

You had driven straight to their house. You didn’t even fully have the car in park before you were out of it and running towards it. The neighborhood was already in an uproar, along with the rest of the city and it seemed nightfall was making things worse. You noticed the door open and stopped short, slowly making your way inside.

“Joel?! Sarah?!” You yelled their names but got no responses.

You gulped, feeling your stomach fall, but no you wouldn’t believe the worst, not yet. Then it felt like everything happened at once. You heard a scream, turning and taking off back out of the house in time to see Sarah stunned into stillness as her neighbor went rabid. Just before she lunged at Sarah, before you could jump to her rescue, Tommy’s truck came crashing onto the curb, both men were out and Joel had killed the woman. Everyone seemed to freeze in that moment realizing what was happening was real.

“You killed her…” Sarah let out a sob and Joel was to her in second.

“I know baby girl. I’m so sorry but I had to,” he breathed and then he looked at you. “Are you okay?”

All you could do was nod. Your heart was racing and you could feel the panic creeping up. You looked at Sarah and pushed it down then glanced back at Joel. The two of you communicated silently, that there would be a time to have your own moments later. What mattered now was getting somewhere safe.

“Both of you get in. We gotta go,” Joel spoke suddenly and you all made for the truck.

You slid into the backseat with Sarah who whimpered slightly as she grabbed your arm.

“Hey it’s going to be okay kiddo. Buckle up,” you nodded at the seatbelt on her side.

She buckled and so did you before you had grabbed on to each other once again. You tried to keep her calm as Tommy flew through the streets. Him and Joel kept going back and forth about where to go, which way would be better. Everything seemed a blur. A burning house to your left, a family pleading for help on your right. Every car in Texas on the highway that was your way out. Across a field with a sharp turn only to be met with military. Another jerk to the right and you were heading straight for the city. You could see the flames already licking the sky in the distance. You had no idea what was going to happen or where you were going to go. You held Sarah with a harder grip as Tommy flew into the city. Everything was pure chaos. Other cars flew around you along with people running from other people who seemed to be crazed. They were attacking people, killing then. And then ,moments later the dead got up and took off after more. You watched in pure shock and fear until your head flew forward with a sudden stop.

“Tommy back up!! Back up!!”

Joel was yelling. Tommy was yelling back. Sarah was speaking over them and you sat in silence. You looked behind you as Tommy flew in reverse and was met with a sight that finally made the entire thing click. Airplanes were falling from the sky, they came closer and closer to the ground until one hit and the entire world seemed to explode. You grabbed Sarah moments before something hit the truck and the world went black.

“(Y/N).”

The simple word snapped you back to reality. You gazed into Joel’s eyes and then you were moving to each other. He pulled you into his arms and you wrapped yours tightly around his neck. You buried your face in his shoulder, taking in the familiar scent of him. The tears ran down your face even with you trying so hard to hold them back.

“I can’t believe this,” he spoke softly in your ear. “I…I didn’t…”

“Think I’d ever see you again? I know,” you smiled, with a chuckle of disbelief as you stood back.

His hands came up to your cheeks and his brown eyes searched your face over before making their way down your body. Then he snapped back up and his eyes went to the guard who still stood there, watching the entire thing.

“I’ve got her from here. Thank you,” Joel spoke softly and he had you picked up bridal style in seconds.

“Thank you,” you spoke softly to the guard as she handed your key over. With a soft smile she simply gave you a nod before leaving.

Joel carried you up a few flights of stairs and then gently set you down keeping your weight on him. He dug out a key and unlocked the door and the two you stepped into, what you assumed, was his apartment.

“Let’s get you propped up on the couch and I’ll get you some water and some medicine.”

“You have pain meds?”

“I got plenty of pain meds,” he smirked as he eyed you and carefully lowered you to the couch.

You leaned back letting out a sigh with a slight smile at him. He picked up a pillow and sat it under your leg, earning a hiss from you.

“I’m sorry,” his words were soft.

“It’s okay,” you watched him.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him as he moved around the apartment. You had waited for this moment for years. You had lost hope too many times to count, thinking he had to be dead or the world was still just too big to find him. When he came back to you his eyes met yours and he smirked his eyebrows pulling together.

“What is it?”

“I just…I never thought I’d find you again. I’m not missing a moment,” you spoke as you took the water and pills from him.

“I…I still can’t really believe you are here. I have to be honest I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. What happened after we…”

“Got separated?” A simple nod from him, as he sat on the coffee table across from you and took your hand. “I’ll be honest I don’t want to talk about that right now. I just…I just need to be. I just need to be with you. I need to know for sure you’re not going to disappear on me again.”

The two of you let out an understanding sigh and Joel nodded. “I understand. We will talk more later.”

He brushed a piece of your hair back behind your ear and his fingers trailed down your cheek gently. Tears welled in your eyes and you forced them to not fall. The two of you just sat there, looking at each other until keys were turning in his lock. You looked from the door, back to him in question.

“We have a lot to talk about. Just…it’s okay.” He rushed the words out, panic clear on his face.

Then a woman was walking through the door. She stopped just inside her eyes glancing from you to Joel and back. Silence filled the room and dread filled you. He had moved on. He had found someone else and now you…you had came all this way for nothing.

“Is this (Y/N)?” She seemed to smile just slightly, the corners of her mouth turning up.

How did she know your name?

“It is. Uh, this is Tess,” he spoke his hand rubbing the back of his neck, a nervous tick of his.

“Can we talk Joel?” She spoke before you could even utter a word.

Joel simply nodded and walked behind her into the hallway. You knew you were going to hear every word they said and it made your stomach turn.

“Tess I…she just showed up.”

“Joel don’t it’s okay. I knew this day could always come. It’s always been her and it always will be. Let her stay with you and I’ll take her apartment.”

“Tess…”

“Joel you know I’m right. This…this was two lonely people keeping each other from falling apart. You still talk about her, you still call her name in your sleep. I know you still love her I can see it all over your face. It’s okay. We can still work together, but I understand. If it would have been….” She broke off for a second. “I know you would do the same thing.”

Silence once again and you held your breath.

“You’re right. I…I can’t turn her away. I…”

“I know,” Tess spoke and you heard her kiss him whether on the lips or cheek you had no idea, but even in the moment it still made your stomach drop.

The door opened and the two of them stepped back into the room. You didn’t realize until that moment that you had tears falling down your face.

“I’m sorry,” your voice broke as it whispered the words to the both of them.

“There is nothing for you to be sorry about.” Tess spoke to you and then she took your apartment key, that was sitting on the coffee table, and she was out the door.

It shut behind her and you watched the door for a long moment before you looked at Joel. You didn’t stop the sob that broke from you and your hand covered your mouth. You had just came in and ruined everything he had. You felt sick.

“I am so sorry Joel,” you spoke through the tears.

He physically seemed to fall apart. Tears sprung in his eyes and he was down on his knees by the couch taking your face in his hands.

“No no my sweet girl. There is nothing at all you need to feel sorry about. She was right. We were just keeping each other afloat and she knew if you ever came back to me that it wouldn’t be a decision. It has and always will be you. My love for you has never stopped. I just lost hope.”

The he brought you to his lips and the two of you kissed. You melted into him and nothing else mattered anymore. You were with the man you loved finally. He pulled away, his forehead resting on yours as he wiped away the tears that had fallen.

“Let’s get washed up and I’ll fix us some dinner and then we can get to bed.”

“Sounds perfect,” you only whispered the words too afraid to really speak.

You had no idea how two people separated for so long could simply fall back into line with each other, but it was easy for Joel and yourself. He had washed himself while you rested and then helped you to wash up. He had changed you into some of his clothes, promising to get you some more the next day. Then he fixed food for the two of you while you sat at his small table watching him. You both exchanged mellow stories of your time apart over the meal. Even with the events of the day it felt comfortable, familiar, normal. He helped you to bed and the two of you curled together on the mattress. He pulled you to him kissing the top of your head.

“You want to talk about what happened now?” He spoke after a few moments of silence.

You knew how it felt to wonder what had happened. You revisited that night entirely too often. Trying to figure out exactly what went wrong but the answer was simple. Everything had gone wrong. You had thought you were going to get out, up until the wreck.

*outbreak night*

Your hearing came back first. Everything was muffled but the chaos was still rampant. You could barely hear your name being spoken by more than one person and then Sarah’s name. It was being repeated like a record player and finally you pushed the darkness of unconsciousness away and your eyes fluttered open. You were upside down, asphalt under your back and Tommy’s truck trapping you underneath it. You started to slowly move your limbs making sure nothing was broken. Your arm sent a shooting pain through you and you grit your teeth. At least it wasn’t your legs. You pushed yourself one armed out from under the truck meeting Joel and Sarah on the same side.

“Can you walk baby girl?”

You turned to Joel and Sarah and you glanced over them both. Joel was scratched up, blood coming from various places but all together he looked fine enough. Sarah on the other hand clearly had a twisted ankle. You grimaced at the sight, trying to move your arm. It wasn’t broke or at least not fully but you didn’t bother to keep pushing it. Sarah answered Joel with a no and he had her in his arms in a second. He turned to you glancing you over.

“I’m fine. I think my arm is fucked but I’m okay.”

Joel nodded and then turned to Tommy. Then in a second an ambulance came flying by wrecking Tommy’s truck further and separating the three of you from him.

“I’m alright! Go! I’ll catch up with you!”

“Tommy…”

“Go!”

Without another word the three of you turned and heading down the alley you had been trapped in. You stopped dead in your tracks when the sight in front of you opened up. Joel was next to you looking on in horror. A man was eating another and you gulped before he looked up. His body contorted strangely and then he was up.

“Run,” Joel spoke simply and you took off into a restaurant.

You flew through the place as fast as your legs could carry you, Joel and the sick man behind you. You flew through the place to a field on the other side of the city. Then there was gunfire and the man fell to the ground dead. You paused seeing a solider standing there his weapon lowered. Joel stopped beside you. Joel thanked him and then things seemed to move in slow motion. He spoke into his radio and your stomach fell to your feet. He seemed to argue with someone on the other side, mentioned a child and a woman. He wasn’t winning whatever that argument was and it was clear in his final words. You backed up and Joel glanced at you in confusion but then he seemed to freeze completely as the man brought his gun back up. You had no idea what happened in the next few moments. There was gunfire, you scattered falling to the ground and then there was Tommy in the distance, the solider dead. You slowly got up testing and checking your body. You hadn’t been shot and you let out a breath. You took off toward Joel and that’s when you heard him scream.

“Tommy help me!”

Sarah. No. You stopped just in front of Tommy. Joel held her and she didn’t look back at you. Her eyes were closed. She was gone. You fell to the ground, a sob ripping from you. And then you were crawling to him. You wrapped your arms around the back side of her. Joel and yourself held her as you both cried. Your heart had shattered. A part of you gone. A part of the man you loved gone. You were going to be sick. You turned quickly losing the contents of your stomach into the grass.

“We have to go.” Tommy spoke slowly.

You glanced at him knowing how right he was. You stayed too much longer and you would be dead.

“Joel…Joel he’s right. We have to go. I’m so sorry. I know okay, I know. But they will kill us all if we don’t move.”

You crawled back to Joel and he looked at you, so broken. You pushed away another sob trying to gather yourself for him. One of you had to be strong and in this moment you knew it had to be you. Joel lowered Sarah gently and looked at her. He kissed her forehead and whispered something to her before he gently laid her on the ground. You watched on helplessly. The three of you turned to each other for a moment before you started to once again move.

“Well you know we went to that one town where all that salvage was…”

“Trust me I recall clearly.”

Now you could laugh a bit about it, but at the time you had been so scared. The two of you had gone to look for supplies and a whole pack of infected had found you. The two of you got separated and could never find each other. You remember going your separate ways to try and take care of the infected from each end. The last words Joel had spoken to you were that he would find you. He never did. You had gone running to find him and at first you had thought he was dead. You had checked every single last body in the area before you ducked into a building. You had slipped into a panic attack giving yourself a moment to grieve, to think of what to do next and then you made yourself move.

“I made it out of Kentucky by the end of the week. I stayed in Ohio for several years. I lost hope. I lost myself for a long time. I self isolated and just tried to make it through. Then one day it was like this weird spark sent me forward and I felt more alive that I had in awhile. One morning I woke up and I just left. There was something there that was pulling me here. Now I know…it was you.”

You looked up at him catching his brown eyes already watching you.

“I thought I had lost you forever. I kept pushing, hoping one day I would find you again. That I would fulfill that promise. I felt like a failure because I never held it up.”

“Joel…”

“I got here and I did the same thing you did. I shut down and grieved you. Then one day I got up and made myself move on. I thought I was dreaming when I heard your voice say my name.”

“Let’s make a promise to each other,” you sat up gently looking down at him, his fingers brushing at your arm gently.

“Alright,” he smiled, actually smiled, a sight you had not seen in so long.

“Let’s promise to stay together till the end of time. Let’s promise to never ever get separated again.”

“That is a promise I was already planning on keeping.”

Joel’s smile widened and your own grew on your face before he pulled you down, connecting his lips to yours.

Tagged: @jimmythegirl @arcadianempress @discogrrl @immundusspiritu @someplace-darker @thisis-theway @ohpedromypedro @scribbledghost @fioccodineveautunnale @princess-and-pedro @phoenixhalliwell @littlevodka @all-hallows-evie @mack4676 @perropascal @audreyshepbvrn @mswarriorbabe80 @kaqua @novemberrain221

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal fic

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specialagentlokitty · 3 months

Text

Negan x reader - celebrations

Hello! I see u asked for some requests. Perhaps celebrating a birthday with Negan when everyone else forgot because they all were busy? Thanks in advance! - @happygirl-0408 💜

You didn’t have long to work, you had been doing this all day, but between sneaking around from the other savours, to trying to gather everything you needed it was hard.

But you were nearly done, maybe it wasn’t the best, you didn’t exactly have all the perfect ingredients but you had the basics.

You quickly rushed from your room to the other one, setting down the plate as carefully as possible.

Pulling out a box of matches, you set them down next to it, along with a very old and slightly broken box.

Again, it wasn’t the best, but it worked.

You quickly ran out room as you heard on your walkie that Negan and a few others had come back, and you made your way back into your own room.

You began to wash everything, drying and putting all the dishes away back where they had come from.

Sitting in your chair, you kicked your feet up on the table, turning your TV on.

You weren’t sure if it was going to be linked back to you, but you were doing your do everything you could to make sure it seemed like you hadn’t left the room all day.

You weren’t sure how he was going to react, if you were sure that he was going to be happy, you would’ve done it in person, but you didn’t want to be there if it pissed him off.

You grabbed your iPod and put your headphones in, picking up a book so you didn’t have to listen to the chatter on the walkie.

You hummed along to the music, happily enjoying the peace that you had.

You were lost in your own world, you didn’t hear the knocking at your door, the calling of your name on the walkie, or the fact that your door was even opened.

“Do you think it’s funny to be ignoring everybody?” Negan snapped.

He stopped, finding you in the chair, reading peacefully.

You had music playing that loudly that he could hear it from the door.

Stepping further in, he closed it, leaning against it as he just watched you with a little smirk on his lips.

You were known as the more ruthless of his saviours, you had no quarrels in killing, or taking what you needed.

You ran a small but strong crew, and though you were ruthless you were always merciful to those that deserved it.

You were humming softly along to the song, not noticing he was there.

Negan looked around, picking up a bouncy ball you had on your desk, he tossed it on the floor, watching as it bounced back up, hitting your arm.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” You hissed.

You slammed the book closed, taking your earphones out as you snapped your gaze to him.

Quickly you got up, getting down on your knee.

“Shit Negan I’m so sorry, I.. I didn’t know it was you.”

“Stand up.”

You quickly did as the man said, and he walked around your room, inspecting a few things that he came across.

“What did you do all day?”

“I uh… huh?” You asked confused.

“Well, we’ve been out all day. You’ve been inside, what did you do the whole time we were gone?”

You furrowed your brows a little in confusion.

“Not much, I slept, rested like the doctor told me.”

He hummed a little bit.

“But you didn’t go see the good doctor now did you (Y/N), not today.”

“I didn’t see the point in wasting time, he said just rest and it’ll heal fine.”

Negan walked over and you let him, not moving as he took your wrist, rolling up your shirt to see the dirtied and bloodied bandage.

You were cut by Michonne while protecting Negan, and it went pretty deep, you were lucky you still had an arm.

“You lying little fucker, you haven’t been to him in a long while.” Negan said lowly.

You tried to pull your arm back but he wouldn’t let you, he unwrapped the bandage, letting it fall to the floor.

“You tell me the truth this time, how did you rip your stitches, and who fixed them?”

You sighed heavily.

“I ripped them trying to shoot my gun, target practice. Went absolutely shit by the way, I didn’t hit one can. I fixed them, well, attempted to, I’m also not the best medic out there.”

“Doctor, now.” He growled.

“Negan it’s fine.”

The look he gave you made you quickly rush over to the door, heading down to medical so you could get your stitches fixed.

Negan stood next to you, watching carefully, tapping Lucille against the floor and it made you nervous.

You didn’t like it when he just watched, because you couldn’t figure out what he was thinking.

“Right, this time don’t try shooting until I give you the all clear, and you must see me daily or that will get infected.”

You sighed.

“Fine.”

You pushed yourself from the bed, making your way to the door, hands stuffed inside your pockets.

Negan followed after you, whistling slightly.

“Happy now?” You grumbled.

He carried on whistling, walking in front of you to make you stop.

“Follow me.”

He tapped Lucille on his shoulder, and that made your nerves pick even more, but you kept a poker face, not showing it.

You noticed where he was taking you, and you said nothing.

Negan swung the door to his room and gestured in so you walked in.

He walked in and closed the door, standing in front of him.

“Any idea how those got there?”

“No sir.”

Negan sighed heavily.

“Are we really going to go through this whole lying thing again (Y/N)? You know I don’t like it when you lie to me.”

Negan pulled a sheet of paper out his pocket, showing your name, your number and what you had taken.

“Crap…”

“So it was you!” Negan smirked.

You sighed, running a hand over your hair and you nodded.

“Yeah, okay, it was me. I didn’t know if you would be pissed or not so I just left it there for you.”

“Why?”

“Cause I remember you saying your birthday was around this time, everybody knows, everybody else seemed to have forgotten. Nobody deserves to have their own birthday forgotten Negan, especially not now.”

Negan nodded his head, setting Lucille down and he walked over to the table.

He pulled a chair out for you, letting you sit down first before he sat down as well.

“If we’re gonna do this we’re doin’ it right, that means you gotta sing.”

“Oh no, hell nah. I ain’t singing.”

“It’s my birthday, you have to sing.”

You narrowed your eyes at him a little which made him grin a little wider.

“You weasel.” You said.

“Ah, ah, remember who you’re speaking to honey, I’m still your leader.”

You stick your middle finger up at him and took the matches so you could light the candle next to the cake.

“I couldn’t find any good ones, and I didn’t want to ruin your cake with this one.”

“Just sing, let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.”

Negan leant back in his chair, smirking from ear to ear as you began to sing happy birthday to him, and when you were finished he blew out the candle.

Then he laughed.

“Shit, if I knew you were really gonna sing I would’ve gotten a camera.”

“You mean I didn’t have to?”

“Nah, I just wanted to see if you would.”

You stuck your middle finger up at him again.

“I’ll get you back for this, now open the present.”

He chuckled, grabbing the box he took the lid off it, he reached inside and pulled out a small wooden figure.

He carefully examined it, then pulled out the other item which was some barbed wire.

“I noticed Lucille was looking a little chipped, thought you could use some spare in case.”

He hummed, setting it down, and he picked up the wooden figure again.

“This me?”

“Yup. Took a long freaking time too.”

Negan smirked, leaning forward a little.

“Aw, so you think about me (Y/N)?” He teased.

You swore at him again, leaning back in your chair.

You didn’t say anything else to him, he got up, walking over somewhere and he came back.

He put a fork into cake, trying a little.

“Damn, this is good.”

“Thanks, I used to be a baker.”

Negan put the fork back into the cake, holding his hand under it and he walked over, holding it out to you.

You looked at him confused, but you knew he wasn’t going to back away so you opened your mouth, letting him feed you some of the cake.

You hummed a little, shrugging your shoulders.

“Not the best I’ve made but it’s decent.”

Negan set the fork down, holding his hand out, and you took your so he could pull you up.

He placed a hand on the side of your neck, running his thumb along your jaw.

He leant down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and he smiled softly at you.

“Thank you, really. I mean it.”

“You’re welcome… asshole…”

“Oh you’re really pushing it now, you know that?”

You grinned a little up at Negan.

“You wouldn’t do shit, you’d miss me too much. I’m the only entertainment in this crap fest.”

“Yeah, damn right you are hot shot.”

You sat back down and he smirked at you, sitting down as he carefully watched you.

Negan picked up the sculpture you had made for him, looking at every small intricate detail you had carved in the wood.

He could tell you took time and dedication to make it, adding everything from the detail in his jacket to the barbed wire on the bat.

Carefully setting it on the table, he glanced back at you as you watched something on his tv.

He hadn’t celebrated his birthday in so long, sometimes he’d forget that it was a thing, it was easy to do in these times.

But you didn’t.

Out of everybody, it was you that remembered him mentioning it in a drunk night meeting.

You had been preparing this, planning this for months, and it solidified his reasoning for trusting you.

You were his right hand for a reason, he would put his very life in his hands knowing you would keep it safe.

He turned to the tv.

“When’s your birthday?”

You looked at him before turning back to the Tv, resting your hand on the table.

“(Y/B/D). I don’t celebrate though.”

Negan nodded his head, copying what you did with your hand, and he pat yours a couple of times.

“Well, sucks for you I guess, we’re celebrating this year.”

#the walking dead x y/n #the walking dead x you #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead #twd #twd x y/n #twd x you #twd x reader #twd imagine #Negan smith #Negan smith x reader #negan smith x you #negan smith x y/n #Negan smith imagine

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simpcityy · 4 months

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I'm Not Her Pt.6 (Father Miguel O’Hara x Teen! Daughter Reader)

Summary: Miguel O’Hara is your biological father but it’s not great being his daughter when he’s hooked in the past still.

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters. This short One-Shot has made it into a series! Read part one, two, three and four please to understand the prompt better. (Linked Below) This chapter is full on Miguel's POV.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: Use of female pronouns, Use of (Y/N), angst, Father Miguel, overall, it’s just sad for now. Other dimensional Miguel… cursing, maybe consider yandere behavior from other dimensional Miguel ...Uhhh...angst... I think that is all for now.

Notes: So, this is the LAST chapter, thank you so much for those who commented to form ideas! I love you all! Also, I am working on a new series from Baldur's gate 3 with a certain Vampire Spawn, first part is out so please check that out.

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6

Chaos was happening around in the apartment, variant Miguel chases you, blocking each time you try to run to the front door. “ Te lo prometo (Y/N)” he says, being on the other side of the coffee table as you stand on the other end trying to decide which way to run. “I’ll be the father you always wanted; I already proved you before you found out. Piensa en lo feliz que estabas!” He exclaims. You only shook your head, “ No! I…you…it can’t happen!” You ran to the right only for him to tackle you down. “ Solo escucha!” he roars, hugging you tightly, not letting you go despite how much you try to push away. “Let me go!” You tear up feeling so conflicted, he had a point, you were so happy. Able to spend time with this variant thinking it was your dad. It would be nice to experience this every day for the rest of your life…but no, deep down…you knew it was wrong. Even if that dimension (Y/N) is long dead, it felt so wrong, as if you were taking her father, especially his grief for her. “No!” You yelled before gasping as a web gets shot at his face, breaking his hold on you.

You were feeling overwhelmed, you felt weak how can you be part of the Spider Society when you can’t fight this variant, was it because he looked just like your father, your mind was telling you it’s not him, you can inflict some punches on him but your heart was being blinded how identical he looked as your real father. You look at his eyes, they hold so much regret, you wonder, does your real father feel the same way now that you’re in this situation. “ I am not your (Y/N)” You whisper before kicking him off you with all your strength which surprised you. That’s right, this variant isn’t the same as your father. This Miguel was just a normal guy, no spider powers, you can’t hurt him. Quickly getting up, you looked at him “ Please…you have to go back. You don’t belong here.” You whispered. “ Soon everyone will be here and they will hurt you…in a hero type way but still…it’s going to hurt…and I don’t know what they’ll do once they have you captured.” “No, I have given up everything to be back with you…I need to make up for everything.” He whispers looking at you with a broken look, “ I don’t care what they do to me.”

Miguel looks around the apartment, seeing items on the ground or broken. There was no sign of you or the other Miguel. “(Y/N)!” He yells calling out to you. He walks into your room, seeing if there are any signs of you. He felt as if the universe was taunting him, feeling the same overwhelmed emotions on the day he lost Gabriella. “Lyla!” He calls out before looking over to see Peter walk over a note on his hand. “Here…it’s for you.” He hands him the note that Miguel knew was yours. The same handwriting as the cards you would give him on his Birthday before stopping. The day you stopped giving him cards, was the day you slowly distance yourself from him. The day you stopped trying to salvage the father and daughter relationship. He grabbed the note, his eyes scanning it over quickly.

“I know you might be wondering where I am. You don’t have to worry, I am safe and have no reason to go find me. I decided that it’s better if I go with this variant and no, he is not holding a knife to my neck as I write this. This is my decision and no one else. The day you left…I was too young to understand why but as I grew up, slowly I was learning the truth…the painful truth. This other version of you…was speaking the truth…that I deserve better…that I should be selfish for once. You had no idea how badly I wanted to run away each birthday…celebrating alone or with the others which I thank them…but I always wanted you…I want my father…there’s a part of me…the little girl in me wanting and reaching for your love…but everyone has their limits as you told me before. I reached my limit and I decided to think of myself…my health…my happiness…dad…As much as the other variant wants me to hate you… I will still love you…no matter how shitty you are. You are my dad but for once…I am letting this inner child have what I wanted, a father. I fixed my watch, so I won’t glitch in the other dimension and took off my location. This is goodbye…I finally came to the conclusion that I’ll never be her…you see me as Gabriella sometimes but it’s time you learn…I’m not her.”

Miguel only stood quiet before slowly sitting on the ground gripping the paper. He makes his holographic suit turn off his mask. He looks up at the frames you had hung on your wall. He reaches over to your nightstand pulling off one frame you had. He held the photo of you close. Peter stood at the door, watching Miguel before walking into the living room to report Jess what happened. He flinched hearing Miguel tearing things down cursing out in Spanish before hearing the man sobbed. He looks down, knowing it must be painful to lose a kid. He knew he would feel the same if anything happened to Mayday, but he knows this pain is much stronger since Miguel once again lost another kid.

You look out through the city of this new dimension, looking at people being passed as you ride the bus. Feeling a warm hand on your shoulder, you look up seeing the variant Miguel smile “Don’t worry, it might be different, but I’ll be here to guide you.” He smiles. You only nod looking out the window again before down at your watch. Biting your lip, trying to hold in your tears. A part of you felt guilty but you didn’t want a repeat of the same empty feeling. You only lean your head into Variant Miguel shoulder while he holds you close, rubbing your back as you weep silently on the bus.

'I’m not her and she’s not me.' You thought, always wanting him to see that but you gave up on waiting. You could only hope this new life would heal you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author Notes: SOOO I know and I'm sorry if the ending isn't what you were thinking. maybe...maybe we could make a sequel...depends on if you all want it. Also again, I started a little Astarion x Fem!Reader so please check that out if you are a Baldur's Gate 3 fan. Thank you all so much for the support!

Spanish Translation: 1. Te lo prometo: I promise you 2. Piensa en lo feliz que estabas!: Think about how happy you were! 3. Solo escucha!: Just listen!

Taglist: @perfectprofessorloverapricot @otaku-degenarate @strbyallycow @zeyzeys-stuff @moonshine147 @dhadiirah @ghibliwatcher @certified-kaeya-kinnie @luvsvnlqt-things @lunamhm565i @sangdium45 @lazyotakuofficial @ihateuguys @pinkeroppi @lady-necromancer @ayanokomu @coralineyouareinterribledanger @idcalol @punnylilac @ace-spades-1 @marxo5 @reiko69 @itadorismedicalstudent @bontensbabygirl @Simpthe3rd @fluffyart5000 @blkmystery @ariparri @i-d-k-f-r @champomiel @oooof-ifellforyou @jannajuju @staple-your-mouth @atanukileaf @namtaeh @estella-satn @darlin-collins @acebalikkanaplease @luvers-checks @arrozyfrijoles23 @sigynxlokiwifelover @millerworld @perilous-pasta @tired-writer04 @marit332 @kiyomi-uchiha777 @zoeyserpentluck @marcswife21 @mushy-mushroom04 @jjayaaa @idoltrine @daughterofthequeen @filthybunny420

#across the spiderverse fic #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara fic #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x fem!reader #father figure miguel ohara #miguel ohara x platonic reader

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zchnlswrld · 10 months

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HAECHAN’S BROKEN MELODY: AUTOPILOT

NCT DREAM’S BROKEN MELODIES

“Ah! There she is!” Hyunji, a girl you share English class with, shouts loud enough for most of the people in the hallway to hear, you’ve never spoken to her so you frown in confusion when she calls out your entry. No one had ever really looked at you besides when people had accidentally knocked your belongings out of your hands before quickly helping you pick them up or when Jocks had asked you for help studying (it ended up being you doing their homework and handing it in for them) so they could stay in their sport.

Hyunji let’s put a laugh as if you had said the funniest joke ever heard. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me?!” Your frown deepens as other students join in her laughing. “You’re kidding me, right?!” She continues to laugh, lightly hitting her friends who are also laughing with her. “Stalking our top guy? What’s next? You’re sleeping with him?”

Your eyes widen. Your senses heighten. All the colour drains from your face. “What?” You say, more to yourself than Hyunji but her laughing calms and she provides you an explanation.

She takes a deep breath and composes herself, a smile still present on her face. “You don’t need to pretend, we saw the pictures he took and the ones 23 and 42 took separately. You aren’t sneaky!” She starts to laugh again.

You drop your head down and walk through the hall as fast as you could, you would usually put your books in your locker but this time you wouldn’t risk it. Any questioning would make you cry or scream or both. The amount of eyes on you made you feel so small, like you shouldn’t be here. The sound of laughing made your ears ring.

How could any of this happen? Where did this rumour even spring from? This baseless rumour. Your grip on the books in your hands made your knuckles turn white.

The pace of your walking stayed the same as you made your way into the classroom, all eyes were on your but you kept your eyes set on your desk trying to tune everything out. The books you had landed hard on your desk and caused your peers to look away from you.

Everyone and everything stayed tuned out and turned away until the end of your lesson. Of course there was the odd whisper here and there but it was quickly put to an end when you met eyes with the people talking.

The bell rang, taking you out of your daze. You picked up your bag and placed it on your lap. Opening the zip you looked down at the keychain linked to it. A brown teddy bear in a sitting position with a red heart in the middle of its torso, it had a orange outline with and orange chain. Silently you ripped it off and stuffed it in your pocket, ready to return it whenever you saw that traitor next.

Your thoughts are interrupted by your teacher. “Y/N, could you stay behi-”

“I’m fine, thank you though.” You blankly reply, swinging your bag over your shoulder and making your way to the cafeteria.

The staring and whispering continued. The confidence you had built up in the classroom gradually disappeared as the noises got louder. The rumours had developed over a couple of hours and they were making you out to be crazy.

Slowly your walking comes to a halt and you turn around. You lifted your head up, eyes wandering to each person trying to recognise their faces and figure out if they know you or Haechan or have even spoken to you. Their beady eyes staring right back and still talking

“Who even said anything?” You said quietly however the talking continued, everything continued as if you weren’t there besides the fact they were talking about you. Doubting anyone heard you, you turned on your heel and continued to where you were going.

If he wasn’t in the cafeteria then you weren’t sure where he would be but even if he wasn’t there you could at least confront Chenle, who was constantly brutally honest with you, or Mark, who would tell you where Haechan was.

One voice could be heard over everyone else’s in the hall. Giggles and mumbles could be heard here and there but that one voice stuck out. The one voice that sung you to sleep. The one voice that told you you were beautiful, you were loved. It was like honey, it was addictive. Instead of telling you how much he loved you he was telling lies.

“And honestly I don’t know what’s wr-” Once again, everyone was looking at you and it was starting to get unbearable. Your breathing increased and you looked down to your pocket to retrieve the keychain your partner had originally gifted to you. Staring at it you considered pocketing it once more just to remind you that he did love you once. You know he did, he would have had to because you know him. Although you don’t know this new him you knew who he was. More than anything he was respectful, that’s why it took you so long to be together which is why this all stung a little more than it should.

Taking a deep breath you walk over to the table people were crowding. “Take it.” You say sticking your hand out to Haechan, the keychain placed in the middle of your palm. He stared at you and the gift, he went back and forth for a few moments before he took it. You retract your hand before he even gets a chance to grab it and say anything to you. “It was nice.” Lips in a thin line you nod at him, tears building up in your eyes.

“I’ll… I’ll leave you alone now. I’m sorry if you felt that I was being weird with you or even stalking. You won’t see me from now on.” Haechan stood up from his seat at the table, he couldn’t break his façade but he couldn’t see you cry. Not because of him. Not again. “I’ll go now.”

“Y/N.” You hear someone call, probably Jaemin going by the stern voice, but you ignore it and find a way out. Before you’re even out of the hall you can hear Haechan pick up where he left off.

Jaemin tailed behind you as you navigated the crowded halls. The stares, the voices, the laughing and the lies made you feel sick. Your heart dropped and there was a hole in your stomach. The tears you had held in originally began to fall. There was no going back now. You needed to please

“Look, it was me.” He races behind you. “We argued, he called me a loser, I called him a coward, he said he wasn’t and that he could prove it, I put the pictures on the school board and Jeno cropped Haechan out of his and posted them. I really didn’t think he would do this.” He tried to explain not even knowing I’d you’re listening to him or not. He doesn’t blame you if you aren’t but he so badly wants you to. As he talked he crashed into other students, not even apologising, too focused to getting through to you.

You push the entrance door open and taking your open out of your pocket. “I know it’s all my fault.” He finally caught up and stood next to you, slightly out of breath.

Wiping your tears and nose you finally replied to him. “Doesn’t matter. He lied. He could have owned up to it but he didn’t. Now I look worse than I already did and he looks so cool.” You let out a sarcastic laugh.

Jaemin check his pockets, presumably for a tissue but doesn’t find one and opts to use his sleeve to wipe your tears. The shirt material was soft and comforting, something you wanted to feel since Hyunji mentioned the rumours.

“I can call Haechan over… maybe talking it out with him will help, hm?” He offers ever so softly, moving his hand from your face to your shoulder closest to him and giving it a comforting pat.

“This isn’t how it should be Jaemin. You’re here with me, trying to make me feel better, when you should be in there.” You gesture back to the school. “I just want to go home.” Pushing off his hand you place each of your own on your backpack straps and time to him.

You turn to face him, “It was really nice meeting you Jaemin.” Smiling at him through tears you explain further when you see him frown in confusion much like you had earlier. “If people find out that I didn’t get the scholarship because I was smart and because Haechan’s parents think I’m nice it’s game over. We’ve been hiding us for over a year and he’s already spinning lies. I’m not doing it, I can’t.”

He reaches his hand out to you but you move back. “It was a shame we met this way because I think you’re a lovely guy. See you whenever, 42.” He steps forward to try and catch your arm but you had already turned away heading out the school’s campus.

“Let me in, please!” You hear a voice shout, followed with a bang on your front door. Once again you ignore it and continue to cut vegetables, it goes through one ear and out the other. You’ve heard enough from him today.

When you came home you headed straight upstairs, flying past your parents who didn’t have time to question you. They gave each other an understanding look assuming you weren’t feeling it today before continuing as they were, packing to go back to work after their lunch break.

Slamming your bedroom door after you, you look around the space. He was everywhere. The large teddy bear on your bed, photos of the two of you, his clothes he left from previous nights with his excuse being that he’ll be back soon so it would be a waste of energy taking them, you even had the matching pyjamas he got the pair of you out on your bed ready in case he wanted to stay tonight because he usually did on a Wednesday night.

You move to the desk in the corner of your room, as you sit down a picture of him stares back at you. It was your 3rd date, one he insisted you go on. A picnic in the hills. He went out and got a picnic blanket as well as made all the food himself, he needed to prove how serious he was about you and if doing everything himself proved that he would do it. Your previous dates had been fancy food at his house made by his chef but you told him you had to see Donghyuck, not Haechan, on your next date or you wouldn’t even entertain the thought of being with him.

The sky was clear and the sun was a warm yellow, it landed on his face perfectly as it highlighted his honey like skin while also showing each mole perfectly. It was a natural photo too, he was talking about Star Wars while looking off into the distance. With his eyes away you pulled your phone up from your lap and took the photo. He didn’t even know about it until a few months later when you first let him in your room and he saw it placed neatly on the desk.

You glare at the photo in the frame and pull it down so you couldn’t see it anymore, you’re sure the glass smashed. Glass being the least of your worried you opened your phone to check the school’s notice board, there it all was. Jaemin’s post.

Pictures of you either at Haechan’s house or where Haechan had been. Most of them having him cropped out to make it look like you’re trailing him. Some of the photos were ones he had taken himself, you know because he would send them to you and tell you how pretty you looked. The pictures were followed with one caption, ‘Haechan knows Y/N, hm?’

Choi Hyunji replied: I knew she was strange! She completely blew me off when we first spoke!

Kim Ara replied: Loads of people like him but going this far? Come on!

Lee Jeno replied: Here’s more >> [3 Attachments]

Yoo Jimin replied: Saw Ara reply, didn’t she do the same in middle school?

Han Bomin replied: She used to watch our practice, I know she was waiting for me because of tutoring but she probably used the time to see him.

Kim Doyoung replied: Stalker! Haechan said he’d tell us as lunch, come join!!!!!!

You scrunched your nose rethinking the comments on the bulletin post, completely ignoring the fist still pounding on your front door. “I won’t be more than five minutes, just let me explain!” The man on the other side continued to beg.

Calmly you placed down the knife and pushed the cutting board back. You exit the kitchen and stand behind the door.

“Who is it?” You ask, you know who it is.

“Haechan.” The door opens and he sees you there in all your beauty. Even with bloodshot eyes and a red face you were still so beautiful to him, so beautiful he could kiss you right then and there.

“It’s me, please just let me in.” He asks once more.

“Sorry, I don’t know a Haechan. You might have the wrong house.” You give a small smile before closing the door.

Not wanting to lose his only chance he places his foot in the way to make you open it once more. Thinking on his feet he replies “What about a Donghyuck? Do you know a Donghyuck?”

You think for a moment before responding. “I did, once.” You stare at him, expecting a fast and witty response however you get nothing.

He clears his throat after a moment, he was going to have to play your game. “I have a message to pass on, from Donghyuck.”

He moves his foot out from the door and stands up straight.

“He thinks you’re it for him, that there’s no one else he’d rather be with. He’s sorry that he made you cry today and he’s sorry you’ve cried because of him before. He behaved that way because he thought of his reputation first which I have since beat him up for.” He hears you giggle and takes this as a good sign and carry’s on. “He thought you wouldn’t understand what it’s like being where he is and that you would hurt him, but you’re so in love with him that we both know you wouldn’t do that to him.”

Tears well up in your eyes, he wants to punch himself for making you sad again. “He’s sorry he lied. After talking to his other friend Jaemin he came to the conclusion that you’re the best thing that ever happened to him and he now knows that what he did has made you have second thoughts about even being here and for that he apologises. He couldn’t come here because he is a coward, Donghyuck is a coward.”

Silence falls over both of you as he looks at you lovingly while you stare longingly into the distance. Your hand falls from the door handle and you put both of them together.

“I didn’t think Donghyuck would ever hurt my feelings. He was so special to me. He was it for me as well, we were supposed to be together forever. I constantly ran after him even though I knew I would get hurt. Now I have.” Haechan steps in the doorway and wipes your now falling tears. “I’ve never been so hurt before, I thought he loved me you know.”

You finally meet his eyes and he wishes you didn’t. What had he done? The pain in your eyes made his heart wrench and his body physically hurt, he could only imagine how you were feeling right now.

“I thought I had someone that made me feel special, after all the years of people pushing me away I thought Donghyuck would make me feel like the most special person on the planet.” You take his hands off your face carefully and hold them in your own. The look in your eyes is too much for the boy across from you and he pulls you in for a hug.

He begins to stroke your hair while the other arm rests on your waist, pulling you into him. You do the same, circling both on your arms around his waist as you silently cry. “I know he loves you and all he wants is for you to feel that special.” He tries to soothe your cries.

“No he doesn’t. He embarrassed me, he lied about me, he hurt me Haechan.” You grip the back of his shirt, unsure as to why but you did it regardless. “He doesn’t know what it’s like to be poked fun at, he doesn’t have to deal with that and then he makes up lies about me to make it worse.”

You sob loudly and it squeezes his heart more. “Did you tell him people poked fun at you?” How much were you keeping from him?

“No, he wouldn’t do anything about it anyway. He couldn’t.” No, he could, he just wouldn’t and he knew that.

“It was all too good to be true, I should have said no from the start.” Haechan’s stroking slows and eventually comes to a halt upon realising what you meant. You had made him work so hard because you weren’t sure if he was serious and now you wished you said no. It was almost like you knew he would end up hurting you and that made him want to cry himself.

He lets go of you and you do the same, his own tears had began to well up on his eyes, his nose was turning red which was a clear sign he was going to cry. “What? You mean that?” He manages to get out.

“I don’t know him anymore. He’s not… Donghyuck, he’s just Haechan. I don’t like Haechan, I like Donghyuck. Haechan thinks he’s a hot shot, Donghyuck thinks he should be the little spoon regardless of how tall he is.” You sniffle a laugh and then wipe your hands on your pyjama bottoms.

“I think you should go, Haechan.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I think I should stay.”

“I don’t like you Haechan, I told you that.”

“I love you.”

The room is silent again and he walks past you, shutting the front door behind himself.

“Whether you think I’m Haechan or Donghyuck, that doesn’t matter, I love you.”

“Then why did you lie?” Ouch. He can’t come back from that because it’s the truth. “Hearing you and everyone lie about me and the way I am made me feel physically sick.”

“Y/N lo-”

“You don’t get to come here and say that you love me after the things you said today. If you were as serious about me as you say you are you wouldn’t have.”

“But I am!” He turns to you and points at you. “I love you! More than I love myself and every single day I think about what I’m supposed to do when people find out about us! I swore to Jaemin I would say something and I didn’t, ok?!”

You push his hand away and turn away from him “I didn’t ask if you loved me or what you would do when people find out about us, I asked why you lied?”

He quietly walks towards you and hugs you from behind, placing a kiss on the top of your head then your temple then your cheek and resting his chin on your shoulder. It’s a sweet action with good intentions only however the situation makes it far from sweet, it makes it apologetic and pitiful.

He leans his head to the side to lean against your own. “I have no excuse and for that I’m sorry.” You nod, not trusting your words. “I have no excuse for the way I behaved today, I don’t ever want to hurt you and you know that.” He presses a kiss onto your shoulder and stays there.

“Can we not see each other anymore? Please? It’s not just today and you know that. We aren’t good for each other right now, my love.” He lets you go as his hands fall and you turn around to face him once again. Placing both of your hands on his cheeks you bring him in and place a soft hiss on his forehead, it lasts for a while and Haechan think this may be your last.

He brings hands to rest on your wrists, still looking at you with so much love.

“You hurt me in so many ways, but today just the most. I hope you can understand where this is coming from.” He silently nods. “I’ll see you around in a few days or so, you’ll know I’m safe like you used to. I just can’t put myself through this anymore, you know that.”

“Just because I’m not fighting now doesn’t mean I won’t be, I’ll keep fighting and waiting.” He responds determined.

“You should go before my parents get back, I need to make them dinner.” Haechan shakes his head and holds onto you tightly.

If he stayed any longer he’d only hurt you more than he already had over the past few months and especially today. “It’ll all be the same, we just won’t see each other outside of school. You really have to go now though, Hyuck.”

There is was. Hyuck. He so badly wanted you to call him that tonight but not now.

Finally, he nods. You let go of his cheeks and he lets go of your wrists. The pair of you stare at each other for what seems like hours just trying to understand how the other person feels but you just can’t, too consumed in your own hurt. Maybe it was better if you didn’t understand each other right now, that way you wouldn’t have to live with knowing why he lied or why you left him.

Haechan hesitantly walks back to the front door and he remembers his first time coming through it, how happy you were to finally be allowed to have him at your house. He wants to smile at the memory but he can’t, he’ll never know if he’ll come back through it and that hurts him more than anything else. He wanted to build a home with you the way your parents did but the thought of never knowing if you’ll be waiting for him in that home makes this all sting a bit more.

“I love you too.” You whisper. He turns around to see you right behind him. “You said you love me, I love you too.” He kisses the crown of your head before quickly making his exit, the door shutting with a soft click behind him.

Immediately he hears you sob and he stops on your porch to collect himself. Every time he had broken himself you would spend hours trying to put each piece back together and hold it in place however he couldn’t do the same with you. He was the one chipping off pieces overtime and now you’re ere left with barely anything. Now he had to go and find them, bring them back to you and hold it all together himself because if he doesn’t he’s not sure what he’ll do.

Taglist (reply to masterlist post to join): @sukistrawberry @lovesuhng @shwizhies @niinjo @renjunoya @carelessshootanonymous @hyuckissed @funkygoose @fymine @asteriaskingdom

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siconetribal · 27 days

Text

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 8

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning: Epiphanies, violence, crime fighting, and staffing issues

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

Sorry about the delay, I wasn't sure on where to go with the story for some time, and health problems started popping up more and more. Things are still hectic, but hopefully manageable.

Personal matters aside, I hope you all continue to enjoy. Thank you for all your support always.

A big shout-out to my friend who is a manager of a facility much like Citlalli. How you handle the various incidents that you do with such grace is inspiring.

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, here is a link to the other parts:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

It was moments like these that reminded him of the benefits of wearing his red helmet. The contents of his head remained intact and inside his skull at all times..

Holy shit, she was the barista at the counter! Red Hood quickly got back up onto his feet, bobbing to dodge a hook before grabbing the bigger guy's sleeve, yanking the guy forward to grab his head. A sickening crunch followed by a cry of pain was satisfaction to the vigilante’s ears. The lumbering giant fell to his knees, holding his face. “It wasn’t that bad,” he scoffed, waiting for his opponent to get back up. The clang of metal was all he heard before watching the crook fall face-first into the pavement. “Now that, that would be pretty bad.” He shrugged, looking up at Nightwing. “You know I had him, right?”

“Is that what you call being plowed into a brick wall? I swear, the lingo of the youth these days.” The elder Robin ran a gloved hand through his hair, looking down at the unconscious bodies littered around. “Two, four, I think that’s all of them.” He nudged his foot into the one on his right, watching the body roll over.

“Looks like it. Now we just gotta wrap ‘em up and drop ‘em off for the cops.” Red Hood motioned towards the street with his head. “I guess today wasn’t a total waste.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Dammit, I can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner! This could’ve all been nicely packed and solved, stupid, stupid, stupid! He berated himself as they dragged the culprits to one of the nearby working lamp posts, tying them up. Clearly finding some Jane Doe of Gotham was not as easy as he thought, especially when he looked right at her and failed to realize it. His pride as a detective was bruised to a point that he was not sure if it would ever be restored. No way in hell I’m telling Grayson about that, I’ll really never hear the end of it. He glared at the guy with the broken nose. Once again, he was grateful that he wore a red helmet instead of a domino mask. His red cheeks and peeved expression was hidden to all except for himself as the two wrapped up for the evening.

Y/N lay crumpled and slouched on the old sofa of their apartment, exhausted and defeated. How many weeks had it been since all this started? How many more were left? She had just paid the first installment of the bill, a glorious moment, until she saw the damage to her bank account.

Life’s not fair, I get it, but this is cruel and unusual! She sighed for the umpteenth time, sinking into the old cushions a little deeper. He had to have noticed her, there was no way her attempts at anonymity were successful. Not to mention, he literally caught me falling! Ah, then there’s the stroke of genius Cici had. Really, a victim of Joker laughing gas? Now he’s really going to think I’m insane and refuse to pay! Then again, maybe he’ll pity me enough and actually pay? He did leave a sizable tip between the two of us. She forced herself to sit up straight and crossed her legs.

“No, get it together! You need to talk to him and explain the situation. I’m sure we can come to a reasonable conclusion through proper discourse! We’re both adults, and he clearly has a savior/hero complex because he did help me at the bar. I’m sure he can be reasoned with when he’s not inebriated or asking a billion questions.” She nodded to herself. “The real issue is how do I find him and prove I’m not some nut case?” Her pursed lips slid side to side as she tried to figure out a method to meet up with him again.

Citlalli had suggested she just turn up at Wayne manor or Wayne Enterprises. It was a tempting option, but with her luck, Y/N had a feeling she was going to be labeled as the new arm candy of the billionaire playboy and that was nothing but trouble. The last thing either of them needed was a horde of paparazzi hounding them or breaking into their rickety apartment and potentially breaking whatever they got their hands on.

Was Bruce Wayne handsome? Yes, there was no denying that. But handsome hardly scratched the “worth it” surface. Just look at where she was stuck now thanks to one of his adopted children. No, good looks did not make things worth it, like Citlalli always said. It only made matters worse. “And triple-y so when a Wayne was involved.” She muttered. “What if he never returns to the coffee shop? It’s been a whole month since then and nada!” She threw her hands up in frustration and slouched on the couch once more. “Doesn’t help that Arkham_Knight has been MIA, too! None of the quests are as fun without him. But he did say he’s going to be out of town or something about no gaming access. I wonder if kicking Wonder Boy’s butt is still on the table if he knew who he was.” It was so very tempting to just give in to the siren call, but she knew better than that. For starters, it would ruin the dynamic between the two of them and one or both of them would end up in jail for attacking a trust fund kid like him.

Her thoughts were broken by the clatter of her phone vibrating on the coffee table. Grabbing the device, she hit the green button on the outdated device. “Hey Cici, what’s up?”

“Hey chica, where are you right now?”

“At the apartment, sprouting on the couch like a potato, why?”

“Can you help me out, pretty please?” Y/N could hear the batting of her lashes through the phone.

“Hmmm, I dunno, I do have a pretty tight schedule between germination, wallowing in my financial crater, and staring out into the darkness.” Y/N tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear as she made her way into the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Oh, woe is you, so busy.” Citlalli scoffed. “Anyway, I really need your help! I just got word that Ryan had asked Stacy to cover his shift and she agreed. Neither of them confirmed that he would be taking up her shift today, and he's saying that he asked her but never agreed to pick up from her. Yes, it's stupid, and I’m going to have to sit these over privileged brats down and explain to them how swapping shifts work again. But, that's not the point! I need someone in today and I thought you may want to pick up some hours to save up faster. Are you able to?”

“Yeah, ok, I’ll head in. Thanks for the chance, I really appreciate it. You don’t worry your little curly head about this and just enjoy the weekend away with your family. Send me any open shifts, and I’ll cover where I can, cool?”

“Miha, you’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much!” Citllali quickly dissolved into heaps of praises and prayers in Spanish out of sheer relief before she finally hung up the call and texted the information.

Another Saturday night shift left unmanned because why would they honor the hours they said they'd work? Not like I can complain though, I’m hitting overtime now and that means more money for me to get these payments over with. She made her way down the narrow hallway to her bedroom, quickly getting changed into a simple black tee and jeans, with the café apron tucked away into her backpack as she locked up behind herself.

The shift had started out busy, the store filled with students and professionals burning the night oil fueled by caffeine and pastries. But as the hours slowly ticked by, the number of in-store customers dwindled down alongside the drive-thru patrons. The moon was now up in place of the sun, and no one really dared to be out too late in this part of Gotham. Only the foolish and desperate, like herself, remained at work because the company insisted on a 24-hour shop to help spruce the town.

Did she want to be out here at night? No. Was being at home in the apartment alone any better? No. At least there was surveillance here. Any trouble that could happen would be recording, and she would be safe, sort of. Shrugging off self-preservation, Y/N began to sweep the floors to pass the time. It was better than standing at the counter waiting for no one to come in. It was another dead night, nothing serious was going to happen.

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e-dubbc11 · 10 months

Text

Songbird

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Ah, let’s see…in this part, none really I don’t think.

Word Count: 3.3k-ish

Summary: Part 1 of 3 (maybe 4, if you guys like longer fics, it will be 3) You live in the same building as the “Penthouse Playboy” as you call him. He eavesdrops on you singing in the stairwell and is immediately smitten but you rebuff his charms. It goes back and forth between Reader and Billy's POV. The two songs used in this chapter are Paint It, Black by Ciara and Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman by Bryan Adams

A/N: Based off this ask from my lovely Lily @munsonownsmyass

Okay, a little idea for you 🩷 We know Billy is charming and could get any woman he wants. But... what if he one night meets a woman who doesn't swoon? Someone who doesn't fall for his smooth talking or handsome looks? Of course she's interested (who wouldn't be?), but she's a tough nut to crack. Billy is instantly intrigued and wants to win her over.

I had the idea of a singer reader for awhile now and I thought combined with this ask, it sounded like a perfect combination so I hope you enjoy this and I do have a playlist that goes along with this, it's linked with the series masterlist.

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

The sky appeared heavy with the promise of a storm that had not yet broken. Would it be rain or would it be snow? It was difficult to tell on this cold afternoon in November, walking home from work.

Everyone on the sidewalk rushed past you and desperately wanted to get indoors before the sky opened up. They didn’t care if they bumped into you or if they knocked your purse off of your shoulder…THEY had to get inside before the rain or snow melted them into the sidewalk next to you. It was an amusing scenario to think about.

Walking in the rain and snow never bothered you. It soothed you, helped to calm you down after a rough day. You did want to get home soon to practice for tomorrow night but you didn’t rush, you took your time walking home, stopping to look in storefront windows and coffee shops.

You could smell the delicious roasted nuts from the vendors on the street from a block away, a baby crying in a stroller coming toward you, and a couple arguing as they drank their coffee walking ahead of you.

Those were just some of the sights and sounds the city produced on a daily basis and on your walk home every day, they were all different. No two days were the same, it kept you on your toes.

A cold droplet landed on the tip of your nose. As you looked around, there were little white flakes floating down, surrounding you as you watched them hit the ground and instantly disappear.

The ground was still a little warm for the snowflakes to stick to the sidewalk but they sparkled like a carpet of diamonds on the patches of grass and the bare tree branches as you continued your walk past the park toward your apartment building.

When you walked inside, you saw him standing in front of the mailboxes. His nickname was “The Penthouse Playboy.” You had no idea what his actual name was so that’s the nickname you came up with for him. He was always bringing home different women, no one steady.

Sure, he was incredibly handsome, an impeccable dresser, and he had a smile that could melt your insides but you knew his type. You knew it a little too well, you dated plenty like him and they were all the same…handsome, charming, and could smooth talk the pants right off of you.

You decided to hang back a little before checking your mail.

He’s made eyes at you a couple of times, those endless dark eyes that looked like two wells of black ink. You could definitely lose yourself in those eyes but you were immune to his charms.

You’d always give him a polite smile but that was it. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to the women he brought home, they were as dumb as a box of rocks but they were very beautiful.

Finally, he headed for the elevators and you could get your mail without an awkward encounter. After checking the mail, you headed up to your not-the-penthouse apartment but it was perfect for you. Changing out of your work clothes, you were trying to remember your set list for tomorrow night.

Your little singing hobby actually turned into a regular weekend gig with a few of your friends. There were a few small intimate clubs that booked you and your band on a semi-regular basis. It wasn’t every weekend but you really were having a lot of fun.

You had always been a little shy when it came to showing off your talent but each time you performed, it became easier. Finding a good place to practice was always a challenge. You didn’t want to bother your neighbors so you never really practiced inside your apartment other than the occasional shower concert.

Your favorite place to practice was actually in the stairwell. It was out of the way, you didn’t really bother anyone and hardly ever ran into anyone while you were out there.

But on your walk home, you had an idea.

Instead of practicing on the same floor as your apartment, you would go up to the top. You thought maybe there’s less of a chance of running into anyone on the top floor. Penthouse Playboy always took the elevator anyway, he wasn’t walking down all of those stairs.

It sounded like a perfect plan.

Billy

It was almost time for you to leave and meet Agent Madani for a drink. After adjusting the cufflinks on your shirt, you added an extra spritz of cologne before putting on your jacket and locking up.

Removing the key from the door lock, you noticed how quiet it was at the top. No one else to wait for the elevator with, it was just you. It was lonely sometimes but you didn’t do relationships, they were a weakness. The company you kept was sporadic and in a matter of hours, they were gone and you’d never see them again. You liked it that way.

You had awhile to wait before the elevator stopped at the top and that’s when you heard her. The melody was coming from the stairwell and it was…beautiful. You needed to find out who she was so you crept closer to the door to see if you could see her face. The dull ache in your chest caught you off guard, it was incessant.

As you inched closer, you finally recognized the song but it was slowed down. It was a version you had never heard before.

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colors anymore, I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black

With flowers and my love both never to come back

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away

Like a newborn baby, it just happens every day

Paralyzed in place, you stood in silence listening to her. You made sure to stay away from the window of the door so she couldn’t see you and she finally turned so you could see her face, her beautiful face to go along with her beautiful voice. You’ve seen her many times before, getting her mail, talking in the lobby with the neighbors or helping them with their groceries.

She was the only woman that didn’t fall apart at your feet when you would smile at her and was completely immune to your charms. You knew deep down that she was probably too good for you.

Madani was a tough egg to crack too but not like your little songbird here, she liked to play hardball. She would ignore you most times while getting her mail, you’d steal glances at her in an elevator full of people but she never looked back.

That feeling of vulnerability would take over when you would see her but you didn’t like feeling that way. You were used to being in control but seeing her took you out of the driver’s seat and threw you into the trunk.

It was difficult to keep this new feeling you were experiencing under control, you were a marine, a soldier…you were always composed and unemotional. Emotions will get you killed and you were definitely in the line of fire after listening to her sing.

Her hypnotic voice had made you late for drinks. You were never late for anything. She was like a siren enticing a sailor. Your little songbird wasn’t just a mission anymore, these feelings she had stirred up inside of you were something that maybe you could give into for the first time in your life, but will she let you?

You

Sound check went well, it felt good, and you were ready for tonight. Your makeup, hair and outfit were perfect. The club was intimate and the dim lights were a welcome sight as opposed to the bright fluorescent ones in the stairwell in your apartment building.

The stairs outside the penthouse were a perfect place to practice, you didn’t see a single person and you weren’t interrupted at all but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched as you sang but that couldn’t be, could it? But you forgot all about it as it got closer to show time.

There were a lot of familiar faces in the crowd tonight, a lot of the same people came to see you sing each time you performed. You didn’t want to call them “groupies” but let’s face it, they were groupies. They’d sit at the front tables, bring you flowers and hang on your every word.

And you thought getting cat called walking by a construction site was bad, these guys didn’t let up for almost the entire show. The club actually provided you with some security so they couldn’t come near you which you were thankful for.

But you had a sinking feeling, tonight was going to be an interesting one.

Billy

This was the second night in a row you had met Dinah out for drinks, you could tell she wanted to sleep with you by the way she would lean into you as she sipped her drink or brush up against you when she excused herself to go to the restroom. You knew she was using you for something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on yet.

Walking in the crisp autumn air next to her, you were trying to listen as she talked and talked and that’s when you heard it. Paint It, Black…slowed down just like your songbird had been singing it. The music was coming from up ahead, from a club called Berlin.

You turned to Dinah. “Let’s go in here for a drink.”

She looked at you confused. “I thought we were goin’ back to my place.”

“Well, I wanna have a drink here first.” You said, walking ahead of her. And however a sure thing she was, she wasn’t what you desired anymore. She wanted you but you wanted another and when you looked up at that stage, you swore your heart skipped a beat.

It WAS her.

She looked even more beautiful than when you saw her in the stairwell. The way she held the audience's gaze and captivated them with her voice, you stopped dead in your tracks. Her voice gave you goosebumps.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black

I see my red door I must have it painted black

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts

It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

She performed like she was born to do it. The microphone was a part of her hand, she held it so naturally and interacted with the audience with just a couple of glances and smiles in their direction.

They loved her.

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue

I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the setting sun

My love will laugh with me before the morning comes

She glanced over to the side of the stage where you were standing with Dinah and her face froze for the briefest of seconds before going back to her performance. She obviously was not expecting to see you there and you could feel Dinah burning a hole in the back of your head because you were ignoring her.

She kept trying to get your attention but you wanted to listen to her finish the song because you weren’t able to the night before.

I wanna see it painted, painted black

Black as night, black as coal

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colors any more, I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm...

She made eye contact with you again, you made sure to clap louder than anyone else in that room, and the slightest of smiles stretched across her face as she bit down on her bottom lip to try and keep you from seeing.

At that point, you couldn’t deny it anymore. You were smitten and determined to make her yours.

You

As you started to sing your next song, you looked over to your left again, through the stage lights there was no mistaking that it was definitely your Penthouse Playboy. He was still there and he had a date with him…and why wouldn’t he?

She was beautiful, dark hair, deep brown eyes and glowing tan skin, but her eyes quickly narrowed when she saw the way he was looking at you.

Clearly, he wanted your attention but you were determined not to give it to him no matter how handsome he was, no matter how loud he clapped for you and no matter how many times he flashed that perfect smile at you.

Trading cash for a table close to the stage, he sat down with his date. Of course he sat down closest to you and instantly became one of your “groupies.” He hung on your every word and paid zero attention to his date, no matter how hard she flirted with him. She removed her jacket to reveal a silk camisole underneath, with lace detail decorating the top. Surely that would grab his attention…but it didn’t.

To really love a woman

To understand her, you gotta know her deep inside

Hear every thought, see every dream

And give her wings when she wants to fly

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms

You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman, you tell her that she's really wanted

When you love a woman, you tell her that she's the one

'Cause she needs somebody, to tell her that it's gonna last forever

So, tell me have you ever really, really, really, ever loved a woman? Yeah

Your Penthouse Playboy was staring at you like you had hung the stars in the sky, looking at you in a way you’ve never seen him look at any of the women he brought home before. Apparently you had a knack for being in the lobby at the same time he was when he would bring a “date” home with him.

You made sure to show your regular admirers more attention than him, before taking your break for the evening. The members of the band always took their break outside where you preferred to stay on your stool which is when your smooth talker made his move toward the stage.

Security stopped him before he could get too close but you were kind of intrigued as to what he had to say to you.

“It’s alright, Nick. You can let him through.” You said, sitting down at the edge of the stage with your feet dangling off.

With a concerned look on his face, Nick said “You sure, y/n? I’ve never seen this one before.”

Your Penthouse Playboy scoffed at being called “this one” which made you smile a little too hard.

“No, really it’s ok. He lives in my building.” You said. “Or should I say, I live in HIS building. He looks down at all the peasants under him that DON’T live in the penthouse.” You said with a slightly wicked grin.

You could tell that comment got under his skin a little.

Nick was glaring at Penthouse Playboy as he walked back over to the other side of the stage and left you alone with your new admirer. He was trying his hardest to charm you just with his smile but this wasn’t your first rodeo. His type was all the same and you’ve fallen for it one too many times.

“You, uh…have a really beautiful voice.” He said, leaning in closer to you.

“Thank you.” You said indifferently and took a sip of your water. “What made you descend from on high to come mingle with the common folk?”

“I was walking by and heard you singing.” He said with a tough expression, matching your indifference.

You glanced in back of him at his date sitting by herself at the table.

“I don’t think your date appreciates you talking to me.” You said.

His lips curled back from his teeth as he said “Well right now, I don’t care what she thinks. And right now, I wanna talk to YOU.”

“Oh and you always do what you want, right?” You asked. Sarcasm dripping from your voice and inching even closer to him so you were both breathing the same air.

“Yeah…I do.” He said. “I apologize for never introducing myself before now but you do tend to ignore me when we cross paths…Billy Russo.” With such a short distance in between the two of you, he didn’t have to extend his hand very much for you to shake it.

You finally knew his actual name.

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you Billy Russo. I’m y/f/n y/l/n.” You said in a harsh whisper.

Billy turned around to glance at his date, she had a scorching glare on her face and he licked his bottom lip as he turned back to face you. The space in between your bodies seemed smaller and his warm breath brushed against your eyelids.

His voice was full of confidence as he said “I’d really love to take you out sometime.”

Shocked that he would have the audacity to ask you out while on a date with another woman, it was another level of confidence or just egotistical, maybe a bit of both.

“I bet you would, Mr. Russo. And you have a lot of balls to ask me out while on a date with someone else. She looks like she wants to spit venom in my face, by the way.” You said.

Motioning for him to come closer so you could whisper in his ear, your hand snaked around the back of his head as you ran your fingers through his ebony colored hair.

“And…you’re gonna have to work a little harder than that, my Penthouse Playboy.” You said sharply, your lip pulled back over clenched teeth and adding a slight tug on his hair before pulling away.

Billy raised his eyebrows at you. “Penthouse Playboy, huh?”

“I didn’t know your name before tonight so I just referred to you as the Penthouse Playboy.” You said with a genuine smile this time.

“Is there something I could do to get you to change that nickname?” He asked.

There was a slight bitterness to your voice as you told him “Like I said, Mr. Russo…you’re gonna have to work a little harder than that. I’m not like the little bimbos you typically bring home.”

You watched as Billy’s date pushed herself away from the table and stormed out of the club, trying to make as much noise as possible on her way out, just as your band members made their way back to the stage.

Pointing to Billy’s empty table, you said to him. “Looks like your date had enough.”

“I guess she did.” He replied, not phased at all.

“Well I do have a set to finish, so you’ll have to excuse me.”

Billy turned to walk away in defeat.

Your expression softened just a little as you said “And Billy?”

He turned back around to face you.

“I’m sorry I ruined your date. I hope you’ll stay for the rest of the set anyway.”

He flashed you that perfect smile again. “You didn’t ruin anything, my little songbird. I’d love to stay. Besides…I have to earn that new nickname, don’t I.”

And with a wink, he headed back to his table and patiently waited to hear what you were going to sing next.

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

#billy russo x reader #billy russo #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #billy russo fluff #billy russo fanfiction

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cutecurly-hair · 6 months

Text

Hearts Unleashed (Part 3)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 3,106

During Mr. Ajayi's art lesson, the classroom buzzed with the sounds of brushes sweeping across canvases, pencils sketching on paper, and the potter's wheel humming away. I eagerly joined in, excited to dive into the creative process.

Throughout the lesson, Elle and I exchanged glances here and there, silently sharing our thoughts on the techniques Mr. Ajayi was imparting. It felt like we were quickly becoming art buddies.

As the class continued, Mr. Ajayi came over to my easel to check out my work. His encouraging smile and helpful feedback inspired me to push my artistic boundaries further. I could now see why Charlie had praised him as one of the great teachers.

The class passed quickly, and I found it pretty interesting overall. When the bell rang, everyone jumped out of their seats, excited for lunch. I, on the other hand, wasn't exactly thrilled about it because I still hadn't gotten used to the foreign food.

"Hey, have you seen Charlie?" Ellie asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I realized then that I hadn't spotted Charlie in class, which started to make me worry.

"You know, now that you mention it, I didn't see him in class at all, and he was even late for his first class today," I replied. Ellie's expression turned from curiosity to concern, and she frowned.

"Never mind," Ellie quickly changed the subject, her frown disappearing, replaced by a smile. "Anyway, let's hurry up and grab some lunch before it gets too crowded." She linked arms with me, and we walked past the cafeteria, heading for the courtyard.

Ellie led me to a table where two guys were sitting. One was engrossed in a book, and the other seemed lost in thought, staring into the distance. As we approached, the guy lost in thought finally looked up and let out a sigh of relief.

"Finally, you're here. I just grabbed your apple juice," he said but then stopped in his tracks, looking surprised when he saw me. Ellie couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

"Thanks, Tao. I was really thirsty in class this morning," Ellie said as she opened her apple juice and took a sip. For a moment, unsure whether to introduce myself or remain quiet. The guy who had been immersed in his book looked up at me with a friendly grin and introduced himself, saying, "Hey, I'm Isaac."

I returned his smile somewhat bashfully, relieved that someone had broken the ice. I nodded toward the familiar book in his hand and asked, "Is that by any chance 'Dune' by Frank Herbert? I read almost half of the series back in middle school, but life got in the way, and I never got around to finishing it in my free time."

Isaac's face lit up at the mention of the book, and he eagerly confirmed, "Yes, it is! I started it about a week ago, and I'm really enjoying it so far. But it feels like I've only scratched the surface, and I've got a long way to go."

His excitement was palpable, from the sparkle in his eyes to the way he cradled the book delicately, ensuring he didn't damage the spine. It was clear he was a true bookworm. I chuckled and replied, "Well, you're ahead of me. I barely finished the second book."

Isaac laughed, saying, "I hope I can keep going. I've got a mountain of books to get through," as he glanced helplessly at the pages he had left. I chimed in, "You've got quite a journey ahead of you. Just wait until they get to the part where they—"

Before I could continue, Isaac hastily covered his ears, shaking his head vigorously to avoid any spoilers. Ellie joined in the laughter and assured him, "Don't worry, Isaac, Y/N won't spoil anything."

Then, a guy in a beanie chimed in, saying, "So, you're the American girl everyone's been talking about," giving me an inquisitive once-over. It seemed like news of my presence had spread throughout the entire school.

I scratched my ear nervously and said, "Yeah, I just moved here about a week ago. It's pretty surprising how the news has spread so quickly."

The guy I figured was Tao responded, "Gossip tends to travel fast these days, especially since we merged schools."

That raised my eyebrows, and I asked, "Merged schools? Are you saying this used to be an all-boys school?"

Isaac chimed in, nodding, "Yup, we recently merged with Harvey Greene because the school had a bad fire over the summer."

I nodded in understanding, saying, "Ah, I see. That explains why all the guys were giving me those curious looks when I first walked in."

Ellie glanced at me knowingly and added, "I'm sure that's not the only reason they were looking at you." I waved her off, not quite catching her drift. I was about to respond when I finally spotted Charlie entering the courtyard. He scanned the field until his eyes settled on our table, and he started walking over.

He smiled at us while he put his backpack down, Ellie quickly intervened “Where have you been, I feel like I haven't seen you all day” Charlie smiled sheepishly “Sorry, I had some stuff to do before class started,” he simply explained but we can tell that we were not buying it, I especially was not buying it. Being late and missing a class on the first day of school definitely doesn't add up. But seeing Charlie’s presence he definitely looks a lot happier than before I saw him this morning. So, something most definitely has happened.

“Where have you been, I hear that you missed two classes,” Tao explained looking for an explanation. But Charlie couldn’t help but laugh “I only missed one class for you information, and I talked with Mr. Ajayi a few minutes ago so everything is fine now,” Charlie explained as he gave us reassuring eyes.

His cheeks were a little flushed as well as his rosy lips, and he does seem to be in better spirits, so I decided to let it go, for now. “Well, that is settled, can we please talk about Mr. Farouk unibrow grown more over the summer,” Charlie announced.

There was a pause for a moment until we busted out giggling. “I am so glad someone else said it” Ellie joined, covering her hand over her mouth. Tao busted down laughing, almost falling off the bench.

I could help but ask “Wait, he has a unibrow for so long?” you question everyone said in unison.

“Yes!”

I laughed right then and there.

___________

As the days went on, I became closer and closer to Charlie and his little friend group. My mom was definitely shocked that I had a friend group so fast, but I can tell that she was kind of glad that I found a group. And even for myself I am happy that I found a group that I have in common with. Ellie has been giving me some major fashion tips that I didn't even know I needed. Since we have the same hair texture, she’s even been teaching me some new hair styles. She is even teaching me how to braid my own since I can't braid for my life.

Issac even got me back to reading, surprisingly enough he made me read this book called ‘Pride and Prejudice’ which I am a couple chapters in, and I already love it so far. But with Tao…I can tell he doesn't like me very much, even at school whenever he sees me down the hall, he just avoids me like the plague, even his energy just gives off “stay away from me” vibes. I asked Charlie about this, but he just said Tao just takes a while to get used to new people, which I believe is total bullshit, but I decided to drop it.

It was a new day, and things were off to a rocky start. I finally found a student who could point me in the direction of the film department, which is located on the other side of the school in a dimly lit classroom. But just my luck, I discovered a notice on the door, explaining that it was temporarily closed due to the teacher being on maternity leave, and they needed time to find a replacement.

Feeling frustrated, I knew I couldn't share this news with my mom; she'd likely force me to join a sports team. I'd given running with Charlie a try in the morning, and let's just say it didn't go well. As I navigated the crowded hallways filled with students in their Truham uniforms, my day took an unexpected turn when I spotted a familiar face. His charming smile lit up his face, and his blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

"Hi," he greeted with warmth.

"Hi," I replied, a smile forming on my lips. Feeling a bit better despite my initial frustration.

We found ourselves just standing in the hallway, exchanging uncertain glances. Then, Nick broke the silence with a stammer, "Are you going that way?"

I replied with a touch of disappointment, "I'm heading to Math, unfortunately."

He smiled sheepishly, "Same," and we started walking together down the hall.

As I glanced at his notepad, I couldn't believe my eyes. "Are you actually doing homework while walking to class?"

Nick chuckled, seemingly surprised at himself, "I might be." He marked an answer that was clearly incorrect. I couldn't help but be amazed and teased him, "Well, that's certainly a choice."

He laughed, "It makes me sound way cooler than I actually am," he looked at the paper confusingly and scribbled another wrong answer. I couldn't resist poking fun, "You know what would be even cooler? Getting the answers right."

Nick did a double-take, "Huh? Are you saying that I got it wrong? I could have sworn I picked the right one." He scrutinized his paper closely.

Shaking my head, I confirmed, "Yeah, no, you completely butchered the last two problems, and if I let you continue, there will be no coming back."

Nick seemed taken aback, "No way. I double-checked the last one, even went over it with a classmate."

I offered to help, "Do you want me to do it for you?" It was practically insisting at this point.

He declined firmly, "No, I'm good. I got it from here."

I persisted, "Are you sure? I can just tell you the answers."

Nick looked at me knowingly, a smirk forming on his lips, "Then I won't learn. I can't take shortcuts like some people.”

He was one of the most stubborn guys I'd ever met, and normally, I would have just let it go. But something inside me made me want to keep trying, and I couldn't help but be charmed by his determination. It made me admire him some type of way.

Without thinking, my hand inched towards Nick's notebook. "If you're stuck, I can just..." I started, attempting to seize the notebook, but he resisted, a playful smile tugging at his lips.

"Let me just..." he said, struggling to hold back a laugh, all the while my fingers grasped onto the pages.

Nick couldn't help but chuckle, "Get off," he gasped, and inadvertently left a small, blue ink scribble on my hand. I was taken aback, staring at the ink mark. "Did you really just—"

Before I could finish my sentence, Nick swiftly took my hand and, with a deft motion, turned the ink blot into a smiling face. "Better."

I tried to ignore the warmth of his hand enveloping my cold one. His touch was both rough and gentle, creating a unique sensation. I couldn't help but smile at the little drawing he'd made. "Maybe."

We gazed at each other for a brief moment, and then we carried on walking. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something about these small moments with him always gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling that seems to settle in the pit of my stomach. I decided to block it out for now.

Walking down the hallway I see a familiar face; they gave me and Nick a smile and I waved back, while passing each other in the hall. Nick seemed to notice the interaction. "Oh, you finally meet Ben?" he asked.

You furrowed your brow, "Is that his name? He seems nice, he helped me out this morning, with finally finding the Film department,"

Nick nodded "Sorry I couldn't be much help, but I am glad you finally found it!" he said.

"Yeah, but the department is temporarily closed since they can't find a teacher," you responded sadly. Nick noticed, my demeaner changed so quickly.

"Well, you can always join the rugby team to keep you occupied" he teased. You gaped at him; you can obviously tell that he was joking but you appreciate him on trying to lift you spirts.

I let out a mock gasp, feigning disbelief. "Rugby? Seriously? I'd be flattened within the first five minutes!" I chuckled, shaking my head. "But hey, maybe I could be the secret weapon. No one would see me coming!"

Nick joined in the laughter, and his smile was like a ray of sunshine. "True, true. You'd be the ultimate underdog. Surprise attack all the way!"

I couldn't help but smile back. These moments with Nick had a way of brightening my day.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

I sat down at the bench, letting out a sigh of relief, glad to have a break from my never-ending classes. "Sorry, I'm a bit late. What's the topic?" I asked.

Charlie's face turned sad as he responded, "We were just talking about how much Mr. Reed is a transphobe," The frustration in his voice was pretty clear.

Tao joined in, looking a bit annoyed as he held onto the table's edge. "Mr. Reed is still refusing to call her Elle." he grumbled, with a deep frown. "I can tell that it has been affecting Elle a little bit, but I can tell that she doesn't want to talk about it."

Elle approached the table, her smile as bright as ever, and grabbed an apple juice. "Hey, guys, what's going on?" she asked, excited to catch up. We exchanged looks, not quite sure where to begin.

Isaac decided to start the conversation. "We were chatting about this year's prom and what the theme might be," he mentioned, sounding a bit hesitant. Elle's eyes lit up with excitement. "Funny, I was thinking about that too!"

The talk at the table picked up pace as we shared ideas about the possible prom themes and what to wear. I'd never been to a prom before and didn't fully get why people were so into it, but my friends' enthusiasm made me curious. Amidst all the chatting, I found my attention wandering to the distant sounds coming from the field.

My gaze couldn't help but gravitate toward none other than Nick Nelson. I couldn't quite fathom why I kept running into him at school. Sure, we share a class, but there was something intriguing about him that I struggled to put into words.

As I watched him dash around the field, fully immersed in a game, I couldn't help but find it rather endearing. A soft smile crept onto my face, and I instinctively reached into my backpack to retrieve my camera. I snapped a quick photo; there was something so precious about witnessing someone carefree and joyful.

Tao, who caught me in the act, looked in my direction and remarked, "Isn't that Nick Nelson?" The entire table fell silent, hanging on my response.

Charlie chimed in confidently, "He sits next to her in our form." He seemed to wonder if that piece of information was helpful at all.

I decided to play dumb, asking innocently, "Who?"

"He looks like a golden retriever." Charlie said breathlessly, looking out into the field, he was clearly impressed by Nick's athleticism. As I watched Nick skillfully handle the soccer ball, that warm, fuzzy feeling swelled in my stomach, and my heart raced.

"Yeah, he really does," I responded breathlessly, my emotions getting the best of me. Tao raised an eyebrow and turned to me, teasing, "I can't believe you've been sitting next to the rugby king, Nick Nelson."

"He plays rugby?" I blurted out, my shock evident as all the hints from our past conversations fell into place. The image of his broad shoulders and strong arms suddenly made sense. I shook my head, refusing to let my thoughts dive too deeply into that rabbit hole.

"Yeah, he's been on the team since freshman year. What do you guys' even chat about every morning?" Tao asked, his tone betraying his surprise.

"We talk," I responded defensively, sensing Tao's skepticism. Feeling the need to justify our interactions.

He arched an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "About what?"

The memory of Nick's pen exploding, leaving him with ink-stained hands and a desperate look for help, flashed through my mind. I couldn't help but laugh at him as he tried to scrub the stubborn blue ink away. "It's not coming off!" he had panicked, and I had playfully teased, "So, does this mean you're going to be blue forever?" We both shared a laugh, and he looked at his comically stained hands, saying, "It looks like I'm wearing blue gloves!" I couldn't resist adding, "Hey, I think it looks good on you. It brings out your eyes," though I wasn't entirely joking. Our shared laughter continued as we reminisced about that amusing incident.

I chuckled at the memory.

"Well, all I'm saying is, be careful," Tao advised.

I frowned, not quite getting it. "What? Why?"

Tao widened his eyes in disbelief. "Why? Just look at them," he exclaimed, nodding in the direction of Nick on the field. "He's the star player of the rugby team and hangs out with those rowdy, obnoxious Year 11 guys," he continued, a touch of disgust in his voice.

"Those are similar to the guys who bullied Charlie last year," he added, lowering his voice as he glanced at Charlie with a sympathetic look. The shock rippled across my face, leaving me momentarily speechless.

Charlie, noticing my reaction, reassured Tao, "I'm over that now, and from what I've seen, Nick is nothing like those bullies," he said, seeking confirmation from me.

I nodded. "Nick... He's different, he's nice," I said, pausing, unsure of what more to say.

Tao rolled his eyes, adopting a mocking tone, "I bet he's a completely different person when he's with his bro-dude friends," eliciting a laugh from Isaac. Sensing the shift in the mood, Ellie wisely decided to change the subject.

The day flew by, and before I knew it, I had finished all my classes. I was pleasantly surprised that I'd managed to get some homework done. Charlie and I walked out of the classroom together, and the air was getting colder by the second, even though the sun was still shining.

"I don't know how you're not freezing. I've got goosebumps," I commented, hugging my coat tightly around my body. Charlie chuckled in response.

"I'm not the one wearing a skirt. And just because I don't show it doesn't mean I'm not cold," he teased, strolling along. I rolled my eyes, thinking I might need to switch to pants for a few days until the weather improved.

"Hey, did you happen to get the answer sheet for math class today?" I asked, realizing that I had forgotten to complete the last set of problems.

We walked out of the school, and I waited for Charlie's response. However, he suddenly stopped walking, a look of surprise and confusion on his face. Concerned, I stopped alongside him, trying to figure out what had caught his attention.

His expression was a mix of shock and confusion. As I followed his gaze, I saw Nick Nelson, the familiar blond boy, laughing outside the school gates. I couldn't help but notice how his smile seemed to brighten in the sunlight, and I found myself getting lost in the sight. I scolded myself mentally; I needed to stop doing this to myself. But there was something about Nick that drew my attention.

Regrettably, my view of him was blocked by a couple more interested in their makeout session than their surroundings. I couldn't quite understand why Nick had this effect on me, and it bothered me. I let out an internal sigh, ready to move on.

"You ready to go, Charlie?" I asked, feeling defeated as I looked up at my friend. His expression had changed from shock to one of sadness, with a hard line forming across his lips.

Charlie simply replied, "Let's go."

Part 4 Link: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/735988308863221760/hearts-unleashed-part-3?source=share

#kit connor #black reader #nick nelson x reader #black!fem!reader #heartstopper #nick nelson x y/n #nick nelson fanfic #nick nelson x fem!reader #nick nelson x blackreader #charlie spring #kit connor x reader #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper fandom #heartstopper fanfic

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chronic-ghost · 10 months

Text

title: nose as long as a telephone wire

rating: M (just for language)

pairing: javier peña x f!reader

word count: 4412

summary: you get too caught up in a phone call with your favorite DEA agent and accidentally let slip something very personal.

warnings: light angst, language, mentions of the cartel, mentions of drinking, obnoxious intros, comedy? i think i’m funny, part of a series but you can read alone

a/n: song lyrics come from Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce, and the last ones come from Tom Waits’ Yesterday is Here. Hope the anon who requested the series likes this - sequel to Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

🤍Series Masterlist | Previous | Next🤍AO3 Link 🤍Masterlist

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

A girl walks into a poker hall in Florida.

She joins the game.

She wins. Everyone asks, ‘well, how’d that happen?’

Girl says, ‘I got magic powers that tell me when you’re lying.’

Wide-eyed, they all ask, ‘really?’

She says, ‘yep, and now you owe me fifty grand.’

They all laugh and easily hand over the money.

And then they try to kill her.

Okay, sorry, that one isn’t all that funny.

What about this one?

A girl walks into a diner in Texas at two in the morning.

She’s scared, tired, and hungry. She solves most of these problems by ordering the biggest burger on the menu and pouring five shots of Crown Royal in her milkshake. And because she’s a lie detector and a lightweight, it all goes straight to her head.

She starts to tell the guy next to her about her little situation in the poker hall. Guy’s nice, sympathetic, asks enough follow up questions to make him appear interested.

And then he goes and lies to her.

Girl says, ‘please don’t kill me, sir!’

And the guy says, in a gruff and very serious voice, ‘I’m not gonna kill you, I’m DEA.’

Oh, and, like, this guy is smokin’ hot. Like just come off the grill hot. Like you pick him up and you burn your fingers – ay, caliente! Like danger and sex all wrapped up into one. Oof, Mama Mia and the rest of the cast in Greece, y’know what I’m saying?

So, DEA agent wants to help.

They flirt, they fight, and just as it seems, this one thing is going well, this only bright light in her life may actually hold a candle, she knows what she has to do.

She TASERS his ass. And all six feet of hotness drops, like a sack of potatoes.

Girl drives off, knowing he’s better off without her.

. . . oh, you were expecting a punchline?

Sorry, folks, this ain’t that kinda story. That girl just ain’t that kind of girl.

Truth is . . .

Funny little word, truth. It’s implicit that truth and trust come in the same bag. When you tell someone you trust them, you expect them to tell you the truth. Is it possible to have one without the other? If the truth is what we believe it to be, then how fragile is our trust?

If you taser someone and leave them literally by the side of the road, what have you broken? Their trust or their understanding about the truth of who you are?

But what about –

“Okay, that’s enough philosophizing to my ten-year-old. I gotta get her ready for school then I gotta vacuum this rug before the day rush. Scoot.” Maria knocks your boots off the end of the bright red couch in the lobby of the Motel 6 on route 22 and you grin sheepishly up at her.

“Aw, c’mon, Mare, this is good for the kid. She’s learning so much.” You glance over at Maria’s daughter, Rio, ready to have her defend your proselytizing – when you meet her heated and leveled glare. You’ve never seen such a small child radiate such annoyance.

“Your jokes suck.”

With a scowl, she stomps to her feet and lets her mother lead her off down the hall to one of the other empty hotel rooms, glaring at you over her shoulder.

You wave a hand to her as you go, smiling flatly. “Thank you, Mare! I owe you one! And thank you so much, little girl, I’ll be here all week.” You dig into your coat pocket and pull out your half-way empty packet of smokes. “Everyone’s a friggin’ critic.”

“Hey, you there! You can’t be smoking in here!”

Birdie, another maid whom you promised to stay out of her way if she kept your “hideout” in one of the second floor empty rooms a secret, snaps at you over the counter. The hotel phone at the front desk rings and she answers it with one hand as she shoos you off. “Go on, take it outside!”

Groaning, your body aching from the toll of driving forty-eight hours straight, you stand up, the unlit smoke between your lips. “Alright, alright, I’m going. Might die before I get there, but I’m going.”

But the other maid barks at you again, asking your name.

“Monologue McQueen, that’s you, right?” She has the red handle pressed against her shoulder. “You’ve got a phone call.”

The toll of outrunning the law and the cartel had taken its turn on Baby as well and the call is no doubt the mechanic calling with an update. You could have kissed Maria all over her face when she let you in at midnight and slipped you a key to a room at the end of the complex. She did owe you one after you proved her brother didn’t kill his boss – but that’s a story for another time.

“Just send it up to my room, alright, Birdie? I’ll take it there. Thank you.”

You trudge out of the hotel lobby in the bright Colorado sunlight and take a deep breath. Colorado is markedly different from Texas. More mountains. More green. Less roads . . . and even less mouth-watering DEA agents.

You stretch till you hear something crack and you shake out your head. Things had been going pretty well since Texas too. Made some money here and there – legally this time. You still hadn’t decided what to do with the fifty grand in your trunk (which had since been removed while Baby went to the doctor’s) but having it nearby was nice. A parachute if things got bad – or worse-r than they had been. But, counting no more run-ins with any government men or better yet, a complete lack of presence from the cartel – it seemed like everything that had happened since Florida was finally fading into the background.

You light the cigarette as you bounce up the concrete steps. Using Maria’s master key, you let yourself into the small dark room that looked heaven-sent after days on the road. Dark wood paneled walls, orange carpet, a lime-green tiled bathroom, a rug that could make you dizzy if you stared at it for too long. Perfect. And you can smoke all you want. You breathe out into the low sunlit room and smoke wavered white then gray as it swam through the shadows.

Sighing and realizing you should probably eat soon if you were going to pick up Baby, you toss off your jacket onto the bed. There’s a blinking red light over the phone as you pick up the receiver and sit down on the mattress.

“Yellow.” You slip your cigarette into the ashtray and wait.

“Hey there,” the deep masculine voice drawls, “it’s Baby Cow Eyes. How’ve ya been?”

Either your knees buckled or the mattress dropped you but you hit the ground with a thump.

“What was that?”

Eyes level with the window, the glass covered by a gauzy white curtain, you inch down to the floor, one vertebrae at a time, the plastic phone shoved tightly against your ear. You think you can hear him breathing on the other line but that might be your own frantic panting. Shitshitshit.

“Nothing,” you mutter. If you can get underneath the window, he might pass your room by. “Nothing at all.”

“Why are you whispering? I’m not literally in the room.”

The phone cradled by your shoulder, you slither, one arm at a time along that nauseating carpet, as far as the cord will allow. This is perfectly normal behavior for an adult woman.

“And what room would that be?” You breathe, softly. “Huh, Agent Pena?” You think you see a flutter of movement on the other side of the window and you jerk back against the door, toes clenched, eyes shut, and bottom lip bitten to the point of pain.

“I don’t know.”

Your eyes pop open. “What?”

The bastard actually laughs.

“If you know what hotel I’m at,” you hiss, jerking the curtain to the side from your protected corner to peer out into the open hallway, “why aren’t you kicking down doors and swinging around that big, thick badge?”

“Why do you think?” You think you can hear the chunk of a gas pump turning off.

“Psychological warfare. You’re gonna nuke the motel from space. Who knows?

You had to drop off Baby at the mechanics and one of his crew gave you a ride back to the motel. That was this morning and since then, not another car had pulled into the motel’s parking lot. Crouching on your knees, you spare a glance into the parking lot below. Still empty.

Over the phone, Javi’s sigh is garbled. “That sounds like a lot of work, sweetheart.”

Your fingers tightened around the plastic. “But you are coming for me, right?”

He inhales and, in the space, you hear the car door slam shut. “That’s right.”

You put the receiver against your chest and, as silent as a church mouse, you mouth:

F U C K

“You still there?” The vibrations are muffled in your shirt.

“Where are you?” you ask, shoving the phone back against your ear. You scan the parking lot one more time just in case of a surprise attack. “At least do the sporting thing and give me a head start.”

Javi huffs over the rumble of the engine as it overturns. “Oh, hell no. You got your one and only head start two days ago. When you tased me.”

“Okay, see, you sound mad about that. My concern about psychological warfare doesn’t seem so crazy now, does it?”

“I’m not mad.” You could almost picture the frown, dark eyebrows drawn in, glaring at the phone like it had personally offended him.

You grimace. “How’s your face?”

There’s a pause, as if he wasn’t expecting that question.

“It’s fine. Had worse,” he grumbles. “Barely even feel it any more.”

“When you growl like that, it makes me feel like you’re still mad.”

“I’m not –,” He cuts himself off and you grin. If you were keeping a tally, which you definitely weren’t, then you just got a little tick next to Javi’s zero. “What are you doing out in Colorado?”

“This feels like entrapment.”

“I’ve got about eight hours ahead of me,” he sighs and you can see his broad fingers tighten over the steering wheel. “This isn’t entrapment, it’s conversation.”

Eight hours. That gave you enough time to get Baby back and . . .

Unless he is . . .

F U U U U CK

See, there’s one little problem with your gift and the government goon is toeing dangerously close to finding it out. Shitdumb, bad fucking luck.

“A conversation, huh?” You rub your forehead with your fingers. This is going to end so badly. “Alright. You start. How did you find me?”

“Mhmm, I was hoping we’d play twenty questions.”

You pull back and stare at the holes in the receiver. Was he flirting with you?

But he continues, “After I came to and found my phone shattered, another thoughtful parting gift from you, I think it was safe to say you were spooked. Route 22 was the closest highway. Giving your headstart, I had a guess where you might be.”

“So, what, you started calling all the motels along route 22?”

“You mentioned you liked places with pools. Started with those first.”

Parts of that night were very clear in your mind – the way he looked at you at the counter, the way he chuckled, his hands on you when he hauled you off the back of Baby’s hood.

When he said you were smart, funny, resourceful.

However, there were other things that were decidedly not as clear.

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did. You talked about pools when you held me hostage for an hour relaying your life’s story.”

You scowl and stand up, uneasily convinced he wasn’t about to burst your door down. You loop the cord through your fingers. “I said I stayed in places with pools because they needed a maid, not because I liked going there.”

Again, Javi laughs, deep and relaxed, and the world flares brightly for a minute.

“Sweetheart, you and I both know there isn’t a goddamn thing on this earth that could make you do something you didn’t want to do.”

For a second you could see it. Clear in your mind. Bright, gold sunlight. Open road, warm desert sand, the roar of Baby’s engine –

– his hand over your knee and he laughs –

“You know, I don’t think I ever said sorry about your face.” You swallow, sitting back on the bed and taking up your cigarette again. You take three long puffs in the silence, appreciative that there is quiet to steady your nerves. The room smells like clean cotton and ash. “And . . . I’m sorry for tasing you. You were nothing but nice to me and I . . . I shouldn’t have done that.”

Leather squeaks as if he’s adjusting in his seat, the engine humming over the line.

“I got close to a woman with a history of cutting and running. You wouldn’t be alive right now if you weren’t a little bit . . . shifty.”

Despite his familiar teasing, you glance at the window, fearing something else scarier than your DEA shadow. From the beginning, he said he wasn’t going to hurt you or kill you and he hadn’t lied about that.

It had been too long since you felt the barbs of that night in Florida but now you can feel them prickle under your skin.

“S-s-shifty, huh?” You can’t fight the sting in the back of your throat. You wrap an arm over your waist and clutch the phone tighter. “The way you say it, it sounds like a compliment.”

“It is.”

“So you’re not mad about your face?”

He sighs and you swear you can hear his teeth grinding.

“I’m not mad about my face, I’m mad you got the drop on me, alright? Shoulda seen that comin’ a mile away.”

You scoff. “Hey, pal, that shit’s original. No one expects the secret taser.”

“How many of those do you have?”

“Why? Planning on making them standard issue?”

“No, sweetheart, we have actual guns for that. I just need to know how many to search for.”

“And give up my one defense? Now that wouldn’t be very shifty of me.”

He chuckles again, the sound pulling a smile from you. “Smart, babygirl, smart.”

With the cigarette between your fingers, you kick off your boots and they land with two loud thuds.

“What was that? Sounds like you’re moving.”

“Darn, you caught me.” You lean back, your spine propped up by the scratchy pillows, your feet stretched out in front of you. With the hum of Javi’s car, as tinny and distant as it might be, you can almost picture yourself in the seat next to him. He’d have the windows down, enjoying the air in the late afternoon. Maybe the radio is on. And he's bad, bad Leroy Brown

The baddest man in the whole damn town. You flex your toes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your arm, your thigh. “I’m sneaking out the back right now. I’m hunkering down and slipping into the night.”

“Ah, I’ve been thinking of all the ways I can say this to you: bullshit. It’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Try again.”

Your heart squeezes, but in a good way, like you’ve swallowed bubbles and they’re making your lungs all jittery.

You glance at the empty spot next to you, looking for his jeans, his wide hands.

“You’ve been thinking about me?” It’s breathless, surprised. You don’t mean to sound so pleased. You realize the cigarette has been burning untouched and is in danger of collapsing. Cursing to yourself, you reach over and tap it out.

“Just how to be one step ahead of you, sweetheart.” His words slow you down. The half-smoked cigarette, burnt and ashen, tumbles from your fingers as you let it fall into the ashtray. You pull your legs up to your chest.

“But things are getting serious out in Florida, in Bogota,” he continues, the teasing lilt from his voice gone. “We really need your testimony. Could save a lot of people’s lives.”

You watch his sunglasses slip down over his nose, just enough to catch yours and really stick in the knife. The engine roars as he guns the gas.

“Javi,” you begin slowly. “I’ve made a lot of enemies. Not just in the cartel. I mean, those are probably the baddest, but I can’t show my face in certain places. You can’t protect me every second of every day.”

“What makes you think I can’t?”

He won’t look at you now and you stare blankly. How many times were you going to hurt this man?

“You couldn’t see me coming, for one.”

“Ouch.”

You grimace, eyes squeezing shut. “I’m sorry, Javi, I–,”

“You’re right.” He visibly swallows, and he switches his grip on the steering wheel. “I broke your trust.”

You try to smile to comfort him, but know he wouldn’t appreciate your pity. You pick at the torn thread on your jeans. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t trust anyone.”

“Well, I guess for someone who – how did you phrase it? ‘Gives trouble a little wink and blows a kiss as you drive by’ – you’ve got to be a little paranoid.”

Your mouth falls open and he smirks, his aviators back high on his face.

“I did not say that.”

“You definitely did, sweetheart. From your lips to my ears. Gotta make up for the fact that I got accused of not listening last time.”

His hand is on the gear shift. The light hair on the back of his wrist and forearm glows in the late evening sun. You think about what it would be like to touch it.

“How’s Steve, by the way?”

Javi snorts and rolls his eyes. “That dumbass? He’s fine. Been duck hunting while on leave. Goddamn Deliverance shit.”

“An activity he shares with Mrs. Steve, I’m assuming?”

“Nah, Connie’s too good for that. Too good for him, as I like to remind him.”

“What’s he like? What’s Connie like?”

He pauses, thoughtful. “Connie likes cats. Blonde. They both are. He’s a good agent. They’ve got a little girl, actually. Adopted her, in Bogota.”

“That’s nice. They sound like good people.”

“They are. Steve’s lucky to have her.”

The car slows, the ringing warning of an oncoming train has him stop before a long stretch of railroad tracks. He taps the wheel with his fingers. The wind comes in and ruffles his hair. He’s handsome in a way that is almost overwhelming. Like you wouldn’t know what to do if he actually looks at you with intention.

The train roars as it passes, the blinking red lights like cosmic stars across his face. You pick at lint on your sock because he can’t be blamed for it, and you should try and make nice. So you open your mouth and ask,

“So is Mrs. Javi still planning on taking me out by the kneecaps? I’ll give her at least two free shots.”

He makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a groan. He adjusts on the seat and cracks his neck.

“Oh, yeah, you really got Mrs. Javi all worked up.”

“Then send her my regards. How should I fill out the card with her flowers?”

There is silence on the other end. The train whistles and the lights flash. The car rumbles from the force of the train, the weight of gravity. The heavy sun is hovering just above the horizon, going red against the mountains. Like a cracked chicken egg with a smear of blood.

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.”

You sit up higher on the bed and cross your arms.

“What do you mean?”

Javi glances from the train, to you, the red lights hiding any blush on his cheeks. He frowns.

“I’m– I’m not married. That . . . was a lie. There’s no one waiting for–,”

Fuck. Fuck fuck shit. Of all the ways for him to find out. Goddamn it. You lean forward onto your knees, groaning, as you wait for it to sink in. He twists in his seat to you, rabid delight on his face.

“Hang on a fuckin’ second, you’re telling me that little trick of yours doesn’t work over the phone?”

You shake your head. Why, why did you bring up the wife? That’s, like, rule number one.

“Sorry to disappoint,” you sigh, admitting defeat, and pick at your socks. “Over the phone just isn’t as good as the real thing.”

He laughs in disbelief. There might be some red in his cheeks after all. “Uh, yeah. I’d have to agree with that.”

He sits back in his seat, mouth agape, as the last of the train cars rumble through. The ticking of the warning signs slows and the barrier raises. Javi distractedly puts the car into drive and it shudders as it goes over the tracks.

“So what other limitations do you have?”

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. “I’ve never put it to the test. As far as I can remember, it only ever makes me money or gets me into trouble.”

“Really? You’ve never been curious.”

“People like me aren’t afford the luxury of being curious.” You glance out the window, at the darkening farmland rushing by. “We just hope to get by. See one day after the next.”

“I know what that’s like,” he murmurs. “Now knowing if you’ll make till sunrise. It’s a bad way to live.”

“Yeah,” you agree, eyes shut. “It is.” His spine is straight, gaze forward, but his knuckles around the wheel are white. Sunlight is fading fast. “How’d you live with it?”

“Didn’t. Not well, at least. Dealt with the worst of it by drinking. Met with people I shouldn’t have.”

Your stomach clenches as you try and decipher his meaning. People, being other agents, the cartel itself, or even women –

There’s no one waiting for me, he was going to say.

“It’s lonely,” you say. You see him nod in the silence.

You bite the inside of your inner lip. “You don’t have to agree with me, you know? I really can’t tell if you’re lying or not right now, so you –,”

You don’t have to pretend to care.

“I’m not lying,” he soothes. You wonder if he could be this kind in person. “Someone once told me starting off a conversation with a lie is not a good way to make a friend.”

You smile out of the corner of your mouth. “That’s good advice. You should keep her around, whoever said that.”

“I’m trying.”

You can feel the shake of the car over the road. Twilight has come, purple and heavy, drawing shadows where there used to be light. Javi takes off his sunglasses and drops them in the clutch of his front shirt, but in the faint light you can’t quite see his eyes.

“I did watch Dr. Pole,” he offers, “had to see what all the fuss was about.”

“You liar.”

He laughs and his fingers bump your knee. “Just making sure.”

You want to stay here with him, but you know you can’t. You squeeze your eyes shut and open them to the dark, warm hotel room.

“Javi, I – I have to go.”

“I know,” he says, his voice running thin through the phone line. You twist away from the headboard, your feet touching the orange carpet. The street lights outside your window have come on, leeching the color from your room. It feels sterile now, less welcoming. Another moment of peace, gone. Another location burned. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You huff a laugh, in spite of yourself. “That’s not the comfort you think it is.”

The car hums, swallowing up anything he might have said.

“But there is something I wanted to say, before you go. Before you tased me, which was a one time thing by the way, I, uh, actually had a nice time with you. I wouldn’t call it a barrel full of monkeys, but . . . you, uh, surprised me.”

You can almost picture the way he curls around the plastic handle, broad shoulders folding in on themselves as if to make his joy as small as possible. Protect it from prying eyes.

“Of course, you did. Chocolate waterslide and all that.”

You can feel his smile, even if you can’t see it. You slide your shoes back on, and gather up your jacket. It wouldn’t take you that long to walk to the mechanics and you remember seeing a diner on the drive back this morning. You wondered if they’d let you sleep for a few hours in a booth.

“Oh, uh, just one more thing,” you say, the cord around your fingers. “You still haven’t told me your real name. At the diner, you said it was Javi, but that’s just a nickname, right? What’s your name?”

“You gonna frame me for murder or something?”

“Or something, sure.”

“My name’s Javier. Javier Peña.”

“Nice to meet you, Javier.”

“Call me Javi.”

You don’t really know how to end it, can’t really speak with the knot in your throat, so you click the receiver back into its cradle. You hope he won’t think you’re rude for not saying goodbye.

The mountain air has turned cool without the sun, night curling around the motel like a lazy black cat. You lock the door behind you and leave the key on the doorframe, with a note inside on the bedside table thanking Maria for her kindness and explaining why you’re leaving.

There are still no cars in the parking lot, but the light to the lobby is on behind the closed curtains. You wonder if the maids are playing poker in there.

You begin to whistle, the canvas bag with fifty thousand dollars in cash slung over your shoulder, as you walk down the road, gravel crunching beneath your feet, wondering where he’s going to eat tonight, what music he might like, and if anything he said today was true. You whistle and listen for the sound of his engine.

And the road is out before me

And the moon is shining bright

What I want you to remember

As I disappear tonight

Today is gray skies

Tomorrow is tears

You'll have to wait

Till yesterday is here

#javier peña #javier peña x y/n #javier pena x y/n #javier pena one shot #javier pena fic #narcos #javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x you #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters

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torashisama · 6 months

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WoT 207 ''Daes Dae'mar'': A detailed theory-analysis

DISCLAIMER :

This explanation is a detailed one. It is a deep dive into the season taking into account the point of view of all the relevant protagonists and antagonists of the game of houses that took place in Cairhien before our eyes in S2E07.Therefore, It's seemingly endless. If you don't enjoy reading or simply does not want to take the time to read, listen and watch all of it. You can check the following links to find the initial (shorter and less detailed, also outdated but still relevant) version of this explanation:

FOREWORD :

Excuse any eye piercing mistakes I might make or clunky phrasings you might notice, I'm French and ADHD's a bitch.

I've seen a lot of confusion about how Lan figured out about Moiraine. So, I analysed his POV throughout the season and those of the relevant characters in all of this so that it's clear for everyone as understanding part 1 is the central and fundmental part of this theory. It would be best for everyone, if there was no confusion.

PS: THE SCENES ARE IN HYPERLINKS FORMS BECAUSE I CAN'T PUT MOST THAN 1 VID PER POST, also forget about the backlinks. I forgot that the url would change if I went back to the different scenes after posting so that it'll stay like this but they won't work. ( no even sure they'll be necessary, i added them in case it was, so it'ss not an issue)

Let's theorise now, shall we ?

Part 1. Lan's and other relevant characters point of views throughout the season

E01 : A taste of Solitude

Here, his point of view is not important as it's mostly about how the bond being severed for the last 6 months affected him. What we can still point out from this episode is that at the beginning, Moiraine finally understands what the broken piece of Cuendillar at the Eye of The World meant. She understand thanks to the poem that was written on the back of the one that Bayle had, that all this time Ishamael was freed not defeated.

And that, at the end, when she first tried to leave without Lan, they ended up getting hurt and almost dying then getting rescued from the Fades who were following Bayle Domon by Verin and Tomas. ( (educated guess thanks to E08)Lanfear used him to get to Mo trough the fades, Moiraine was supposed to die before she had the chance to intervene.)

E02 : Strangers and Friends

After the Fades attack, Moiraine and Lan have been healed.

She's cold and leaving for the "docks", Verin tells her that Adeleas and her will accompany her and suggests that she goes to the White Tower first. She agrees. Later, at night, seated around a campfire listening to Verin, Adeleas and Tomas reminisce about their youth, Lan and Moiraine gets to do the same and remembers the first time they met each other. Sometime after, it's time for them to say goodbye and go their separate ways. Lan, while Moiraine is distracted, searches her saddle in which he finds a worn out piece of paper that is laced into what appears to be a thin thread of leather, before he can take a look at it, Moiraine comes back and he hides his findings in his cloak. They talk.

"I should have sensed the Fades were coming. I should have… I'm sorry. "

"Do you know when I actually decided you'd be my Warder?"

[…]

"You'll go to the Tower and I'll continue alone."

[…]

"We didn't defeat the Dark One, we set his strongest lieutenant free. The Forsaken are 3000 years old. They're the strongest channelers that ever lived, and Ishamael may be waking the others. What they can do with the One Power make the Aes Sedai look like tavern magicians conjuring birds from their sleeves. I mean, he cut me off with a flick of his wrist."

"But it takes eight Aes Sedai to cut someone off. Alone, he couldn't, no matter how…"

"You have no conception of the power they wield. "

"Well, then tell me.You and I walk this path together. […]"

"We've never walked this path together. You've never seen the forest for the trees because I have never shown it to you."

"You can't push me away."

"Rand's alive."

"No. You said he was dead."

"You assumed."

[…]

"I took an oath to defend you. "

"And without the bond, you're unable to fulfil that oath."

"I'm still your Warder.""

"No, you failed me.""

[…]

"I am not letting you walk away from me again."

"I know. Alanna will see you to the Tower. I'll have her take your bond by force if I must."

Lan from his last conversation with Moiraine before Siuan, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon becomes relevant factors learns that :

He had been chosen as her warder because she thought "he'll ultimately will be fine if I die"

She wants to leaves him behind again

They did not defeat the Dark One at the Eye but only made things worse by releasing his strongest lieutenant, a forsaken: Ishamael a.k.a Ishy.

Ishamael is most likely than not on a quest to release the other ones.

The forsaken are so much more stronger than the Aes Sedai that the difference is hilarious to think about.

Ishy apparently stilled her by himself.

Mo's betrayed his trust for the last 6 months by lying the Aes Sedai way ( purposefully misleading him) about Rand's death.

She thinks that he failed her and isn't her warder anymore.

She never thought of him as her equal.

She'd betray his trust again by letting Alanna take his bond by force (violate him) so that he'd let her leave alone on her suicide mission.

E03: What Might Be

This episode is unusable as Lan only appears as a part of Nynaeve's trial in the arches. However, we can still count the day or days passing in this episode to try and know how long it's been since Moiraine and Lan have been separated.

I've found that it's only been a day since they left each other by the end of episode 3.

E04: Daughter of the Night

When we first see Lan again since he's been forced to leave with Alanna, He's already been 2 days and 1 night away from Moiraine. This episode will be the 3rd day and 2nd night.

During the day, he's with Alanna and instead of heading straight back for the Tower they pay a visit to Alanna's family.

He eats with them ( lunch ) then he leaves the table to go take a piss, he expected Maksim or Ihvon as before but this time it's Alanna that came to see him. They talk.

[…]

"a warm memory. Something worth living for. And at that point… "

"So we're going to skip all of that.,I don't think you're gonna kill yourself. Your bond wasn't ripped from you. She took it. So have you decided what you're going to do now?"

"Have I worn out my welcome? "

"The three of us, we are going back to the Tower tomorrow. Will you come with us?"

[…]

"I wish you could've known Moiraine before. "

"Before what? "

"Something happened to her. About years ago now. A year or two before she bonded you. One day she was simply… changed. The way water becomes ice, and you look at it and wonder how it was ever water before. "

"Was she happier, then?"

"I don't know. I don't know if she's ever been happy. "

Later during the day, in the afternoon, he talks with Maksim.

[…]

"Moiraine has left the bond masked for… the last six months or so."

"I thought I was the only Warder who could go that long. When Alanna first bonded me, it was miserable for everyone. I didn't like having an audience in my head, and she didn't like the show. So, the three of us talked it through, and we decided that she would mask her bond with me. Except in battle. And bed."

"Does the Tower know about this? "

"Have you ever known a marriage that is exactly the same as another? I know the others will tell you…you can't go back to Moiraine. But I'm proof that you can. If you want to."

And finally, at night he talks with Ihvon.

[…]

"It's something she said. You keep saying it to yourself over and over. A thousand cuts for her one. People don't understand that we quiet ones… are quiet because the conversation's always… playing out in our own heads."

"She said that, all these years… Mm…she never considered me an equal. "

"Of course not. We are not their equals, Lan. We're not supposed to be. An Aes Sedai can… call down lightning, raise mountains. The rest of the world only sees their power. We see their weakness. We remind them that they are not gods."

"I wouldn't think that… Alanna needed a reminder."

"Yeah, well, she knows we want the same thing as her. "

"What's that? "

"The triumph of the Light over the Dark. And dessert after. "

"What about Moiraine? What does she want? "

"Maybe that's the problem. I don't think I know anymore. "

While they're talking, Maksim who was meditating with them but left them alone before they started talking, found the old and worn out piece of paper that Lan previously took from Moiraine. He shows it to Alanna, who reads it and immediately understand what it could mean about Lan and maybe Moiraine too. Is he a dark friend ? Are they dark friends ? Later during the night, while Lan is asleep, Ihvon joins them and they talk it out, outside the house, Ihvon then reads it and they figure out that it's a prophecy in the Old Tongue about a forsaken, specifically about the Daughter of the Night, Lanfear. They're not sure of what to think yet, but they now suspect Lan.

E05: Damane

In this episode we do not follow Lan, Alanna, Ihvon or Maksim. There's is no point of view for them while they're travelling together but we can add 2 nights and a day to the counter. It's been 4 days and 4 nights away from Moiraine and as many days and nights spent with Alanna and her warders for Lan. However, we do get Verin's point of view.

After just arriving at the Tower, she asked after Nynaeve and Egwene but it turned out that they were nowhere to be found. Not in their rooms, not doing chores or in class and somehow, it was the same for the Daughter-heir of Andor, Elayne. They seemed to have disappeared so she went to see Sheriam Sedai, the current Mistress of Novices to try and understand where they could have vanished.

[…]

"Why, Verin Sedai. I was unaware you'd be visiting us."

[…]

"Uh, what can I do for you, Sister?"

"I was hoping to have a word with two of the girls in your care, Egwene al'Vere and Nynaeve al'Meara. Do you know where I might find them?"

"Uh, they are likely busy doing their chores. "

"In fact, they aren't. Nor are they in their class, nor in their rooms. And, um, also the Daughter-Heir of Andor is nowhere to be found."

"Is it possible they may have left Tower grounds?"

"The Daughter-Heir? It's worth taking a look, don't you think? "

"Oh. Uh… Oh, goodness, yes. Here it is. A visit to Elayne's home in Caemlyn. The three were signed out just the other day."

"That seems worth remembering. "

"It is. I, um…I don't know how it slipped my mind, frankly."

"It's quite unusual".

"That it is."

[…]

"Oh, yeah, I have another question for you. I was in the library asking after a book, Meditations on the Kindling Flame? Oh, yes, I've been meaning to return it. It's in my room, actually. Do you need it? Just for a short passage on the Amyrlin Tetsuan, uh… if you could. "

Verin went to the library before going to Sheriam and asks Nomy and Yassica about the "new very powerful Novices".

We don't actually see this happening, but since she went to the tower knowing about Moiraine's adopted kids and particularly about Rand, she must have wanted to meet them as opposed to being able to meet the Dragon Reborn himself ( being bothered by her insatiable curiosity again). She learns that they are nowhere to be found, knowing what link they might have with the Dragon Reborn, she finds suspicious that just after Moiraine got attacked by 3 Fades and went looking for the Dragon Reborn, again, that her girls would appear to have left tower grounds with no one knowing about their departure. With these information in mind, before going to see Sheriam, she takes some precaution to ensure that she discovers the whole truth if for some reason Sheriam was not revealing it all. Knowing all of this, we can deduce that she had the following course of action:

Go to the Library and asks her fellow trusted brown sisters about the girls, after she tells her that it seems like they're not in the tower anymore, She asks them to help if she suspects that Sheriam, might not be telling her the whole truth during their talk.

ask about a book she borrowed and did not return yet, so that they can use it's mention as a signal and use it as a diversion (Meditation on the Kindling Flame).

Look for Ny, Eggy and Elayne

Ask and look around for them

Go to Sheriam and ask about the girls disappearance and determine whether it would be wise to use the backup plan.

Signal to Yassica that they're following the plan, that their conversation is coming to an end and that they'll soon get out of her study.

Distract Sheriam long enough so that Yassica retrieves all of the supposedly useful information.

Meet Yassica to talk about her findings.

Get the names of every Aes Sedai who left the tower in the last few days because it seems that a weave of compulsion was used on Sheriam (so Black Ajah).

Get the prophecies about the DR for Moiraine ? (not sure that she ever did)

Liandrin cross examination

Liandrin successfully fails

[…]

"I, um, I thought you were in Jurene hunting a young man suspected of channeling. "

"Luckily it was nothing."

"Hmm. "

"But… I did… bring back some white asparagus. If you'd like some. It's a delicacy from the village. You can only… "

"Procure them there and only at this time of year. "

"Yes."

[…]

"That's strange. Novices shouldn't be allowed to… "

"Well, they've, uh… they've gone to a name day ceremony in Caemlyn. "

"I'd heard on the road back that a royal envoy going to Caemlyn was attacked south of here. "

"By whom?"

"Uh, a soldier at the inn. He said it was… bandits or Whitecloaks. But if the girls were with them… Come, we must talk to the Keeper immediately. Those girls are worth more than gold itself. Hurry."

Even though her suspicions about Liandrin are at an all time high, I think that she did go with her to go "talk to the Keeper". It's the last time we see her before Cairhien.

E06: Eyes Without Pity

It's been 4 days and 4 nights, Moiraine got to Rand the night before and finally separated him from Lanfear. Defeated and her plans for the Dragon Reborn interrupted.

MOIRANE AND RAND

[…]

Lanfear: "But, if you actually want to work with me… I have one condition. "

Moiraine: "What did she say?"

"I have to go."

"Where? Did she tell you where… "

"No. Away from you. That was her condition. If she sees us together again, she'll kill you".

Lanfear, goes to Liandrin who she's been prying on in the World of Dreams. They talk.

[…]

"Ishamael said he'd freed you, but I…"

"Tell me, why do you work for him? For Ishamael? You hate men. With one exception, it seems."

[…]

"Men hurt us… betray us, and still, we love them. You swore your oaths to keep him alive, but this is not life. "

"I know. "

"He's holding you back. The last tie to the girl you used to be. The girl who was beaten and starved, and forced to marry before she bled. "

"I know. "

"And that's why I'm here, to do what you can't. A gift only one woman can give to another."

[…]

"You swore your oaths to the Dark, not to Ishamael. You cannot take them back. It's impossible. But there are many paths to walk through the night."

(optional but recommended) : Torashi's thoughts about Lanfear and Liandrin

Liandrin ends up switching sides at the end of this conversation. She will now aid Lanfear, not Ishy and Lanfear gives her the task of killing Moiraine (it's the 2nd assassination attempt). She needs to get rid of her but can't kill her herself because she wants Rand to trust her and believe in her and her cause.

Meanwhile, Moiraine is in Cairhien with Rand and at some point she attempts to write a letter in response to her "Dearest Siuan" to update her on the situation and finally tell her the truth about being stilled but she can't. At least, not yet. Only, she did not expect Lan to overtake her.

Lan's point of view (during night 4)

It's night, Lan, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon are travelling. We don't know where exactly they're going but we can expect them to be going towards the Tower as it was what was planned. All this time spent with them, Lan has been pondering on the idea, that, maybe, Moiraine, really is not stilled but something else. He does not know what but he needs to at least dissipate his doubts. On the other side, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon still suspects Lan of being a Dark Friend. During their trip, they purposefully choose to stop at a Forsaken temple to observe his behavior and judge him. Lan having these doubts in the back of his mind, wants to get to the Amyrlin seat, Siuan Sanche, who happens to be Moiraine's secret wife. He needs more information on the forsaken and needs to know where to find Siuan, so that she can help him dissipate his doubts ( he understands the old tongue- he understood what Ihvon meant by "Blood calls blood") and help him find how to help Moiraine.

Alanna : "Here's as good a place to stop as any. I'm dying for some tea."

Lan: "This is a temple to the Forsaken. Interesting choice."

Maksim: "Shelter's shelter. "

Lan: "We'll need the Amyrlin's permission for me to return to the Tower. Moiraine's banishment applies to me until our bond is formally removed from Tower records."

Alanna: "The Amyrlin won't be back for another few days yet. She's returning from a visit to Caemlyn."

Lan: "Forsaken. Do you believe they had powers the Aes Sedai have lost? Weaves this Age has forgotten?"

Ihvon: "They were the generals of the Dark One's army. The things they did, our Aes Sedai would never even consider."

Alanna: "What you're willing to do changes depending on what you're faced with."

[sometime later Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon are supposed to be distracted, having fun in their tent. Lan attempts to leave but they were watching him all along. He's cornerded by Ihvon and Maksim then trapped in the One Power by Alanna.]

Maksim : "It's rude to leave while your friends are sleeping."

Ihvon: "Ruder still to use your weapon against them."

Lan: "I don't want to fight you. "

Maksim: Rejection's a relatively new experience. You'll have to forgive me for asking, but… where are you going, old friend?

Lan : That is my business.

[…]

Alanna: "The Amyrlin did not banish you from Tar Valon. You know that. You wanted me to tell you where she is. Why?"

Lan: "I need to find her."

Alanna: "What do you want from Siuan Sanche ?"

Alanna: "You will tell us the truth, al'Lan Mandragoran. We will kill you were you stand if you don't."

Lan: "We found the Dragon Reborn."

[Lan goes to Siuan to tell her the truth about her wife, so that she can help him check whether he was right to doubt a forsaken's ability to still someone alone and help her.]

It's the last time we see them before the new day starts. They had all night to talk to each other, research (if needed) and come up with a plan.

DURING DAY 5

-MORNING

Lan is preventing Rand from leaving to go to Falme, alone, without Moiraine. He's accompanied by Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon.

Moiraine sends Jonas to give a letter to a trusted sister of hers of the Blue Ajah so that she can "get it where it needs to go" (To Siuan I suppose). She apologises to Barthy and he hugs her, they're interrupted by Anvaere.

"The Amyrlin Seat is here, in Cairhien, with 14 Aes Sedai, and she's demanded an audience with you."

Liandrin's in Cairhien, thanks to her, we know that Siuan summoned them without disclosing why.

"The last time the Amyrlin Seat called 14 sisters to meet with her in Cairhien, we installed a new king on the Sun Throne."

"Well, maybe this Amyrlin is a little more frivolous daughter."

"Hmm. "

"We'll have to wait and see."

In this part, we learned that :

Lan was suspicious from the moment that he learned how Moiraine got stilled by Ishy.

He doubted what his next step should be and thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, he knew that he had to get back and COULD go back to Moiraine.

He needed to get to Siuan before so that she could help him get back to Moraine and check whether he could have been right or not about her not being stilled.

He told Alanna about Rand and never disclosed that Moiraine could not channel or that Siuan and her were working together or that they are lovers.

He went to see Siuan, they talked and planned an intervention to save Moiraine from herself.

Lanfear used Domon to get to Moiraine trough the fades to kill her before she could do anything about Rand. (educated guess when informed by E08)

Lanfear rallied Liandrin to her cause and tasked her to take care of Moiraine for her. (educated guess when informed by E08)

Verin now knows about the dragon and is going to the Tower to look for prophecies about the dragon for Moiraine.

Verin suspected Liandrin of being Black Ajah and of being able to use the weave of compulsion and left with her to "go see the keeper"

Siuan, Lan, Alanna, Ihvon and Maksim went to Cairhien

Siuan summoned 14 Aes Sedai there but did not disclose the reason why and demanded an audience with Moiraine

Lan prevented Rand from leaving without Moiraine for Falme accompanied by Alanna, Ihvon and Maksim.

Part 2. Liuan : Their off screen talk

Thanks to part 1, we can be assured that Siuan was the one who showed up at Cairhien and not the Amyrlin Seat. It was about Moiraine not the mission or Rand. They were secondary motives and afterthoughts. All that mattered when she saw Lan, was Moiraine. It would have been five days since she answered to Moiraine from their previous letter and she still did not have an answer, so she was already worried. In E06, when Moiraine attempts to write to Siuan before Barthy interrups her. It either was the first letter from E01 or a follow up one that Siuan sent out of worry. Lan showing up alone, probably was horrifying. As for Lan, is sole purpose and worry from the night Moiraine got "stilled" and they lost their bond was to help Moiraine, support her, be close to her again. Basically as he said:

Moiraine: "I don't know what you think you'll gain from this."

Lan: "Hopefully, everything we've lost."

Now onto the talk.

credit: @aflawedfashion

What we can deduce from E07 and the previous episodes we just deep dived into is that Lan told her more than she had just been stilled. He confirms that he went to Siuan doubtful near the end of episode 7 when he says :

"It never made sense to me, Moiraine. What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off, which means… "

scene

He just told her what he tried to say from E02 (except this time he knows what it is if not stilling and how to fix it), but she wouldn't listen to him.

scene

So, between Liuan this is what he must have said:

Siuan, At the eye of the world, Moiraine actually fought a forsaken, he was not defeated.

She was mistaken, a few days ago she realised that we released him. We were wrong, we,lost at the eye of the world.

She's lost her ability to touch the source but she said that Ishamael stilled her alone. I don't think she's been stilled, Verin Sedai said that most stilled women ended up dying and that her behavior was not aligning with what's usually expected. After she told me that he stilled her alone I strongly doubted that she really was, I thought maybe it was something else, I told her but she brushed me off. Are they really that strong ? Can a forsaken really still someone alone ?

She's been casting me out for the last six months so I only learned about all of it 4 nights ago when she left me behind to go find Rand. He wasn't with us, she let me assume he died and let him leave.

She forced me to stay back with Alanna Sedai and her warders by threatening me of letting her take my bond by force. They were to take me back to the tower but before Moiraine left me I took a poem she had in her saddle, it was about Lanfear. Ishamael released her, Alanna Sedai found it and cornered me earlier as I was trying to get to you to confront me about it. She wouldn't let me go, she thought that I was to harm you and a dark friend, she was ready to kill me so I had to tell her about the dragon reborn so that she'd let me go.

Lan told her and knew everything she needed to know to be able to help her wife as she's always been doing. Only, this time, Moiraine would have to stay out of the loop. She's emotionally unstable and is not in a place where she could allow herself to think of such a possibility anymore, giving her hope for no reason wouldn't make for anything good.

optional but recommended : Thoughts about why Liuan decided to keep Moiraine out of the loop

We now wonder, what did they plan ?

Part 3. Liuan : The Plan

Before diving into this part, we need to know what might have happened between them beside their talk.

What can we deduce happened ?

Lan tells her everything and Siuan comes up with the plan and tells him what he'll have to do and they'll obviously use Rand as a pretext (well, Siuan will).

(I used to think that she could have not know as soon as he'd tell her since Moiraine herself did not think that a Forsaken wouldn't be able to do that but after further research and taking into account the fact that Lan immediately suspected it and that Moiraine judgement was clouded by her emotions, I now think that Siuan knew as soon as he told her. Anyway, whether she needed to check or not they had their plan which was not about the dragon in case you forgot but about Moiraine.)

Now, onto the discussed plan:

Siuan explains :

Lan you'll :

Get the boy, try to make him understand that he'll be fine but do not tell him the truth, we can't trust that he won't talk to Moiraine or that nobody will spy on you. I'll meet him and try and do the same and use our meeting as my main motive for coming to Cairhien, also, we'll need him to unshield her as I can't see Saidin (men half of the One power).

You'll check with Logain to know if we were right about her being shielded, we have to be sure before attempting anything.

Check if she ever wanted to kill herself if you have the chance.

Everything may not go as planned so be ready not to reveal that there's more than me meeting the boy and follow along with whatever I do.

This is what you'll have to do to un-shield her if we were right

If we get attacked you'll take her there. This will be our escape route in case we ever need it.

As for Alanna and her warders they'll be on the look out.

Most importantly, keep her safe, be careful and stand by her.

Siuan

I'll

Summon 14 Aes sedais and take them with me to Cairhien since we have 2 Forsaken on the loose trying to get him, they'll be useful in case we get attacked.

Meet and talk to Moiraine and distract her from what you'll be doing.

Meet the boy and try to make him understand that i'm on his side.

Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon

Look out for the Forsaken

Alert

Backup

Goals

The goal is to help Moiraine and that is it, probably discuss their next course of action regarding the plan since she might be stilled (which she can do with no problem since she doesn't know for sure that she isn't). As i've stated before, Rand and the mission in this case were the after thoughts as it is Siuan that decided to go to Cairhien and not the Amyrlin Seat.

Moiraine: "Siuan said you were leaving. Where were you going? "

(While they're the same person, they are not the same characters, Siuan isn't the Amyrlin Seat and the Amyrlin Seat is not Siuan but only a part of her, I thought the show made it clear enough but I'm reminding you all again anyway as i've seen that a lot (even other theorist and siuaraine shippers) seems to think that Siuan really went to Cairhien to take Rand away from Mo, cage him and stuff as if they did not show us that it simply was not how it worked between them and that she simply was not her position at all. Most misunderstood and underappreciated character sincerely (those who voted Hopper, i'm looking at y'all). Anyway, SHE IS NOT THE AMYRLIN SEAT AND THE AMYRLIN SEAT IS NOT SIUAN BUT ONLY A PART OF HER.)

So, Siuan shielding and putting Rand in a cell was improvised as he was leaving without Moiraine knowing and she needed him to be around anyway.

Daes dae'Mar : The Game of Houses, Liuan's plan put into practice

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Siuaraine meeting in the Sun Palace

Goals :

Meet and talk to Moiraine and distract her from what Lan will be doing.

Use meeting Rand as her main motive for coming to Cairhien.

[MOIRAINE] Mother. [SIUAN] Leave us, Daughter. She's no threat to me. [LEANE] I'll be right outside, Mother. [SIUAN] Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you'd been stilled? Six months of letters, Moiraine. And not one word about this…this violation. [MOIRAINE] Well, what else did Lan tell you?

[MOIRAINE] That you threatened to let Alanna take his bond without his permission. You know he told her. That you found the Dragon. (half truth and deflection, she knew about the forsaken and talks about it later,)

[MOIRAINE] Why are you here, Siuan?

[SIUAN] I've let you carry this burden for years, love. You've given everything for it. From here on out, I row beside you. ( half truth, because she also was there to help Lan check her powers)

Moiraine: [SCOFFS] (not convinced)[gets hypnotised by Siuan's touch]

[SIUAN] It's time I met Rand al'Thor. (deflection)

scene

Lan takes Rand and prepare him to meet Siuan

Goals:

Prepare him to meet Siuan :

make him understand without telling him the truth that Siuan is on his side. Even though she's the Amyrlin. ( for the reason mentioned before but also, it's Cairhien)

[LAN] Tuck in your shirt. [RAND] What does the Amyrlin Seat want from me? Is this a trial? I saw what she did to the last man who called himself Dragon. (scared) [LAN] Is that why you ran from the Eye of the World? Why you hid here? (wonders why he left and questions if it was because he was afraid about sharing Logain's fate) [RAND] I left to protect the people I love. (angrily answers, offended by the assumption) [LAN] Don't be so selfish. You were born to protect this world. Every person in it. Not just the ones you love. (reminds him of his responsabilities as the Dragon Reborn)

Listen to me. The Amyrlin's a smart woman. She's a good woman. (reassures him about Siuan) And she comes from humbler beginnings than you. (she's not what she seems) [RAND] Does Moiraine know you're doing this? (asks about the only Aes Sedai he kind of trust) [LAN] There's one rule above all others for being a man. Whatever comes, you face it on your feet. ( ignores and teach him what his answer should be to the fear he's currently feeling)

Put this on. Give me your blade.

Heron Dips the Wing. You've been learning sword forms. (proud uncle moment) [RAND] I've learned a couple of things. [LAN] Keep the sword. (let him keep his sword as he is still stressed)

If the Amyrlin's afraid of you, it won't be for a sword. (build his confidence up)

If you're going to use one of the forms, use Cat Crosses the Courtyard, keep your back straight, every muscle loose. As if hung from a wire at the top of your head. (teaching moment)

Go. The Amyrlin waits.

scene

Siuan meets Rand while Mo'an are talking

[RAND] As you've summoned me, Mother, so I've come. I stand ready. [SIUAN] Do you now, boy? Lan has prepared you, I see. What else did he tell you? [RAND] That you aren't exactly what you seem. [SIUAN] Most people are not. In this world, it is wise to guard your truths, but not us. Not today. (she won't lie, since she can't but she's going to aes sedai her way out of his questions not to reveal blatlantly that she's on his side) I have questions for you. Answer truthfully.

[LATER]

[RAND] And then what? [SIUAN] You say you've been careful. How many times have you channeled? [RAND] Not many. Not deliberately. [SIUAN] You will continue to channel, as sure as roe makes fish. You can't help it. And if you don't learn to control it, you won't live long enough to go mad. (INFODUMP) [RAND] What kind of a choice is that? (when did she give him a choice exactly, please ?), (ignored question) Dying or going mad and killing everyone I love? (ignored) What if I'm tired of being a spoke in the Wheel? (acknowledged) [SIUAN] You're not a spoke, boy. You are the water that turns the Wheel itself or dashes it to pieces. (answers)

Do you know what Tower law says the Amyrlin must do if she finds the Dragon Reborn? (question and attemps at making him understand) [RAND] Gentle him? [SIUAN] Gentle him? No. How do you fight the Dark One without the One Power?

Some of my Red daughters would want that, I suppose, but… (beware of the reds basically) we are meant to cage you. (teaching, infodumping)

Keep you shielded, channeling only when we want, what we want. And when we go to fight the Last Battle, you will be the greatest weapon in our arsenal. But not our general.

This is not a conversation. (yes it is) You already made your decision. (indeed, 20 years ago dumbass) You made it before you ever met me. (how do you know? she made it looking in your other mom eyes the day you were born and ruined their retirement plans, BEHAVE RAND)

I won't live in your cage. (did she say SHE, would cage you or that the Amyrlin was MEANT to cage you ? she infodumped, you stupid boy)

(she had no other choice but to shield him as he was getting hostile, then Mother got mad, i can't blame her I would have too (actually I did), because how can you be so dense, mistaken and dumb, like why would you think you'd be able to do anything against the Amyrlin Seat, when you know nothing about channeling- je souffle (I sigh), je souffle, je souffle. Il fatigue(he tires).)

scene

Six months you've known what you are, and… you've learned nothing.

Six months! Huh?

She taught you nothing. (she's mad, and it takes a lot to get her to snap according to New spring so leave my girl alone, Mo took the decision alone, said nothing and did teach him nothing also from an objective stand point, she's not necessarily talking about chanelling. She's been over their whole discussion since he pulled a Nynaeve while asking about being tired of being a spoke or whatever )

A single Aes Sedai can handle you like baitfish. ( just an astute and accurate observation made with an iconic fish metaphor)

[SIGHS] (me too)

We would've been so much better off if you were a girl. (i'm sorry not sorry to the men who got butt hurt by this comment but she's right, had it been possible it would have been so much better and it's an objective truth, she basically stated a fact so get over it)

scene

Mo'an talk during Rand and Siuan are talking

Goals:

Check if she ever wanted to kill herself ( symptoms of stilling basically)

Do not to reveal that there's more than Siuan meeting Rand

[MOIRAINE] I don't know what you think you'll gain from this. [LAN] Hopefully, everything we've lost. [MOIRAINE] Leave. I have nothing to say to you. [LAN] I have a question for you. And I hope someday you'll forgive me for asking it. ( a single question huh ?)

After you were stilled by Ishamael, has there been a time… in all these months when you thought about ending it? [MOIRAINE] killing myself?

I read the Tower records. (keep that in mind,take a mental or physical note.) There have only been two women in history who were cut off who didn't. Most did it within the year. [MOIRAINE] No, I didn't. (Rand & Moiraine getting offended by Lan's perfectly reasonable and logical assumption)

Not for one second.

Because I know that protecting Rand, guiding him, that is the only thing that matters. More than me, more than you. More than anything. [LAN] That's what I thought. (happy Lan)

[MOIRAINE] And this whole thing you're doing with Siuan, it puts all of it… the Last Battle,the fate of the world… in jeopardy. (Yes, it's true but do I need to remind her "when have ever followed the rules?" or simply that these two never let her not take care of herself? WHY DID SHE EVEN EXPECT THEM TO CARE ABOUT THE WORLD IF SHE WASN'T FINE ? SUCH A DEPRESSED LOVABLE AND ANNOYING PUFFERFISH).

I apologise for my lack of professionalism,

It will definitely happen again though,you've been warned.

What isn't she telling me? (was not convinced by Siuan earlier, just hypnotised)

You have to trust someone at some point, Moiraine. You can't do this by yourself. You can't. And if it's not going to be me… then I thought it might at least be her. (deflect)

scene

Siuaraine, Mo'an, Liuan fight (+ red haired misbehaving toddler)

Goal:

distract Moiraine so that Lan can do his thing

improvised: shield rand and prevent him from leaving, as he's shown that he's ready to be hostile and harm, he's caged and to be kept shielded by Leane who knows nothing but that she has to shield him.

[SIUAN] Let them through. [MOIRAINE] Release him, Siuan. ( Mo, you don't even know what he did) Now. [SIUAN] No. We tried our way, Moiraine. -> true

And we nearly lost everything. -> true

The Tower's laws have stood for , 3000 years.-> infodumb

It's time we obeyed them. -> it was time from the moment they became accepted, it was already time in their hut when Moiraine was asking when did they EVER followed these rules. [LAN ] This is not what we agreed to. (true but he also remembered that bro was leaving alone when he found him and will stay quiet and follow along from now on)

[MOIRAINE] The Reds will gentle him.

[SIUAN] Not while I hold the Seat. -> true, even if she really wanted to follow the rules, she wouldn't let them.

[MOIRAINE] The Tower is filled with your enemies. -> true, she knows

You're this sure of your power? -> true, and siuan stays quiet because she can't Aes sedai her way out of this one

We each had a task, Siuan.

I was to find the Dragon Reborn. You were to get the Tower ready to support him. Or have you forgotten that day? -> something here snapped in her brain people, Moiraine angered her with this one and she loses her temper ( which is, AGAIN, hard to do according to New spring in case I needed to remind you)

[SIUAN]

Of course I have not forgotten.

But you were supposed to be with him, ready to shield him if he starts to go mad.

Yet here you are, stilled. (still isn't sure and it's what it appears to be so she can say it, and she is pissed)

You can't control him. -> true

You can't guide him. -> true

Can you imagine, Moiraine, if one of the Forsaken got their hands on him? (she gave herself away there, remember in the first meeting when I referenced this ? )

He's no more ready now than he was before you found him. -> true

You left the fate of the world to chance… -> true, she let him leave at the eye when she was not sure of what the fight they just "won" meant + she never told her that he left because she couldn't tell her why she let him leave and there was no other reason than she couldn't protect him anymore from the dark and himself and it was best if he laid low + it meant that telling, and admitting that she'd never touch the source again could be delayed

… for your pride. -> so yes but for those not agreeing with her statement there, we do not care, she just need to believe something to be able to say it. IT DOES NOT MATTER.

Tomorrow, when Queen Galldrian returns, we shall announce him as Dragon here in Cairhien… with Sisters by our side to show he is under our control. -> he's supposed to leave with Moiraine as soon as she's unshielded if they were right, no one knows about Rand but them and those who learned about it this season and it's one of the possible choice they could have made by actually having a conversation about what to do if Moiraine hadn't come in there after Lan told her to trust, ordering Siuan around, wanting to hear nothing else, when she didn't even know why he was shielded (he deserved the time out sincerely.)

Prepare him for what is to come.

I think she was saying this to both of them, and it had a double meaning.

Lan: Still on board, even though things got heated carry on with the plan, just lost my temper. ( would explain why the camera shows him and not Moiraine even though the whole conversation had been only between Siuaraine)

Mo and us: yeah i'm apparently ditching the plan we sacrificed 20 years for, and the one I came up with Lan, last night, without a discussion, just because i'm pissed after I told you her earlier that I was there to support you her. Yes, that is right, this is what is happening.

scene

Since there had been no objection, no attempt at bargaining or anything, just plain old silence. Siuan thought Moiraine had dropped the ball. She let her be, and Moiraine chose to stay with Rand. ( good because she'll still be distracted even though they're mad at each other right now) Had Moiraine been imprisoned too, she wouldn't have been allowed to be in the same cell, and Siuan would have disclosed that she had been stilled to Leane but she did not. Siuan trusted her, still, even though they just had a fight about their kid and knew that she had been Aes sedaying her way out of transparency for months. So,to her everything was mostly going according to plan but then Rand happened and introduced another player to the game that was currently unfolding before our innocent, untrained eyes and unaware minds.

House Lanfear- Al'Thor

Goals:

Get rid of Moiraine

Get Rand to Falme alone

[RAND] What is happening to me? [MOIRAINE] You've been shielded from the One Power. [RAND] Um… it feels… [MOIRAINE] As if you've lost everything you ever were and everything you could possibly be. Don't worry, it's temporary. She has to channel to keep the shield in place, but when it drops, you'll feel yourself again. [MOIRAINE] Siuan said you were leaving. (off-screen first meeting)

Where were you going? [RAND] Falme. Egwene is there. Ishamael has her. [MOIRAINE] Lanfear showed you this in the dream world? [RAND] I know they want me to go there. But why Falme, of all places? [MOIRAINE] The Dragon is supposed to proclaim himself there. "Bannered 'cross the sky in fire." [RAND] They want everyone to know who I am before they try to kill me. If they need me in Falme, then they certainly don't want me being held prisoner by the Amyrlin Seat.

He happened, and Moiraine broke Siuan's trust there once again by indulging in it.

As Justine Juel Gillmer( S1E06 and S2E07 writer) pointed out and explained : Moiraine feels like she lost Rand to Lanfear, operates without a clear path to follow for the first time and is all alone. She focuses only on Rand, nothing else matters (as i've pointed before myself too, during Mo'an's talk). (in the bonus)

So, she does nothing else than what she felt she could do : She stays by his side and tries to win him back. She says nothing,let him and indulges in his tendency to call on Lanfear (the dark) for help, thinking that she would be able to outsmart her even though she knows that she wouldn't have been able to see their interaction in the world of dreams, she trust Rand to give her all of the information that she'd need to know if something was wrong and Rand ends up asking Lanfear. A fair price to pay to gain some of his trust back: trusting each other and only one another and further harming the trust Lanfear made sure they would build while she was away and unaware. Without realising it, she built trust in one of her relationship, while harming one of hers too.

She breaks the trust that Siuan chose to still have in her, even though she knew that she was not in the right head space right now because of the shield, by actually trying to escape when she had dropped the ball earlier.

scene

Meanwhile, Liandrin is working on fulfilling the mission she has been given by Lanfear in episode 6. […]

[LIANDRIN] I remember her at that age. You have the look of her, you know. [BARTHANES] Why are you here, Aes Sedai? [LIANDRIN] To deliver an order. (from Lanfear) [BARTHY] What does our master ask of me? ( he assumed it was from Ishy or the DO) [LIANDRIN] Remove her from the board. [BARTHY] She is my aunt. [LIANDRIN] Exactly. Even she will be unprepared for this. Do it today. She's being held in a cell in the palace. (Lanfear or you got this one wrong Liandrin, she's in there voluntarily.)Oh. And if your mother suspects anything… take care of her, too.

scene

Meanwhile House Lanfear-Al'Thor,

[LANFEAR] You didn't even make it out of the city. ( she knew already) [RAND] I need your help. I'm in a cell in the Sun Palace. The Amyrlin's holding me. [LANFEAR] I know. [RAND] Can you get me out? [LANFEAR] Hmm. Isn't Moiraine with you? Surely she could do something. [RAND] Maybe she will. Maybe I won't need you. [LANFEAR] Oh, I do like it when you try to manipulate me. [RAND] Can you get me out or not, Lanfear?

scene

On the other side,

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Goals:

check with Logain to know if they were right about her being shielded, They have to be sure before attempting anything.

Alanna and her warders will be on the look out.

[ALANNA] Through there. What did he say? Does the Daughter of the Night walk in our world? [MAKSIM] Forsaken. Dragon Reborn. I miss the farm, Alanna. I even miss your cousins. [ALANNA] Come now. Did you expect we would fight the Last Battle against an army of kittens?

[LOGAIN] I would offer you a match, but.. stones is a gentleman's game. Tell your master that I'm still waiting for her to keep her promise. Or you can just run me through with your blade now, save her the trouble. [LAN] I can do better than that. You can see male weaves. What do you see when you look at Moiraine? [LOGAIN] A desperate, lonely woman who has given her life to a cause… beyond her understanding. [LAN] A half a year in an asylum, and you're a madman still. [LOGAIN] Madness is expecting a straight answer from the man you helped lock away. There are weaves on her. From a man. Thousands of strands pulled together, held in place, but nothing being channeled into them. [LAN] How is that possible? [LOGAIN] I don't know, it's just like…

scene

House Lanfear-Al'Thor

[PEOPLE SCREAMING IN BADASS LANFEAR ANNOUNCING HER ARRIVAL]

Meanwhile House Sanche- Mandragoran,

[ALANNA] There's a fIre. In the Foregate. [LOGAIN] The key. [LAN] You think I've forgotten what you did to Kerene and Stepin? You will get this key when they take you back to the White Tower. There are two Brown Sisters that are desperate to study a man who can channel.

[LAN] Go. (to Moiraine) [LANFEAR] 3000 years pass and I'm back to this.

scene

And another player comes in, unexpectedly,

House Damodred

Goals:

Save Moiraine

Save the name of House Damodred

Save herself

Get yourself absolutely adored by the Fandom in one action

[BARTHANES] You're sure my aunt's alone? [SERVANT] As you asked, my lord. And a sedative in her tea. She should be asleep already. [BARTHY]] Good. [SERVANT] Would you like me to open it, Your Grace? [ANVAERE] I didn't think you would do it. [BARTHY] Mother. No. No! No! No. [ANVAERE] Why? In Light's name, why? [BARTHANES] I did it for us. I did it for you, Mother. For our family name. Why do you think that we've risen so far so fast, Mother? I am to be king. And you would throw it all away for what? For-for her? Mother, Moiraine doesn't care about you. She trust no one. She cares about no one. She… She will leave this place, and she will not give us a second thought. [ANVAERE] I know. But there are two things my sister understands better than anyone. The difference between right and wrong, and how much harder it is sometimes to do what is right. [BARTHY] Mother. Mother, please. Mother, please. You can't tell the queen. You can't tell anybody. [BADASS, HEROIC ANVAERE] I already have. [CRYING BARTHY] Mother. Mother. Mother! No! Mother! Mother!

scene

House Lanfear-Al'thor

Goals:

release Rand while Lanfear's being the perfect diversion

give him the map leading to the Waygate.

[VERIN] The city's burning. The Amyrlin requires your strength to protect Cairhien. [LEANE] I've been told to watch the boy. [VERIN] This is an order, Leane Sedai. (from Liandrin or Lanfear?) I'll take his shield. [LEANE] Don't let her get close to you. (still doesn't know Mo is "stilled") [MOIRAINE] You are very clever with your words, Sister. (did not realise that she couldn't have known she'd need help) [VERIN] The Dragon Reborn. I'd say you've spent long enough in Cairhien, wouldn't you?

There's a Waygate hidden in the city. (how did she know she'd need to plan for this from the morning she arrived in Cairhien ? Lanfear or Liandrin but really just Lanfear has if not herself she'd give the order trough Liandrin) [MOIRAINE] That's just a rumor. [VERIN] With a grain of truth. An Ogier Stedding once stood in the inner city center. Cairhien families built right over it. Here. [VERIN] Where will you take him? [MOIRAINE] Falme. Toman Head. [VERIN] "Above Toman's Head shall he proclaim himself bannered 'cross the sky in fire." ( here's the reason you might be looking for if not for compulsion by Liandrin when she followed her to "go see the keeper") You plan to have him declare himself the Dragon Reborn. The Wheel weaves.

scene

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Goals:

If we get attacked you'll take her there. This will be our escape route in case we ever need it.

Alanna: Backup

[LAN] Good work. We'll take him from here to the Waygate. ( did not take the map or hear them speak, Verin and Thomas followed as he had the same destination than the one they had planned for Rand) Just make sure that we're not followed. [ALANNA] You're not alone in this any longer, Sister. But you need to hurry. This city is not safe. I hope you're worth this, boy. Light be with you. [LAN] Let's go.

sceane

Meanwhile, Siuan isn't worried about the dragon reborn being protected by a single abled Aes Sedai when she knows that it probably is one of the Forsaken, she carries out her duty as Aes Sedai and Amyrlin Seat with the utmost calm. She even seemed bored of it for a second. Then again, in the utmost calm and collected manner, she sees the only Aes Sedai supposed to be shielding the boy and doesn't pannick and order that they rush there and find him, NO, she calmly ask who's shielding her son and it's only when she hears Verin's name that she's not okay anymore, suddenly she needs time to process what she just heard and then leave in a rush.

[SIUAN] Link with me. [LEANE] I'm here, Mother. [SIUAN] Who's shielding the boy? [LEANE] Verin Sedai. You… you sent her. [SIUAN] Lead your Sisters and heal the injured. That boy must not leave the city. -> something is wrong I have enemies I did not expect and doubts to clear he mustn't leave before they are cleared. [EXHALES]

All the while, Lan is still oblivious that something is wrong and is just following the plan.

[LAN] It should be somewhere. There. (did not use the map) [MOIRAINE] You'll have to channel into it. Split it open with sheer force if you have to. [LAN] No, he won't. You're going to open it. [MOIRAINE] Just do it. [LAN] Look at Moiraine. With the Source. [MOIRAINE] Lan. [LAN] Not just your eyes. What do you see? [MOIRAINE] Don't. [RAND] It looks like a knot tied together. [MOIRAINE] That's im… It's impossible. (see, this woman really wouldn't allow herself to even think about it, Rand tells her he see them, yet she won't believe it)

[LAN INFODUMPING BECAUSE MOIRAINE IS STILL BEING STUBBORN ABOUT HER "STILLING"] There's a story from the Age of Legends about the Foresaken's powers… a skill that's been lost for thousands of years… to tie off weaves and leave them in place. It never made sense to me, Moiraine. (reminder that it is proof he went to Siuan with doubts about this) What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off, which means…

[MOIRAINE] It can be removed. (finally) [LAN] Yes. [RAND] What do I need to do? [LAN] You don't have the skill to untie this knot. You'll have to cut it. [MOIRAINE] I trust you. [LAN] Go on. Cut through it. [MOIRAINE] I feel it. I feel it. Thank you. Thank you. [LAN] I am sorry it took me so long to do my duty.( it took you 4 day and nights but go off king)

scene

House Sanche-Madragoran + House Lanfear-Al'Thor

Siuan arrives, shields Rand as he was super dense and leave Lan alone.

[LAN] Stop! No!

Siuan yeets Lan to the side, she does not have the time to explains and maybe he lied to her too.

[SIUAN] Close the Waygate, Moiraine. Now. -> she needs a proof You lied to me about being stilled. -> the aes sedai way obvi

[MOIRAINE not suprised to see her as she knew they were hiding something from her, and she must have her coming with her Siuan tingle.] No. I cannot. -> ok cool you didn't but you know she doesn't literally mean lie -.- I've been more truthful with you than anyone else. -> this just means that she told her the truth more than to anyone else, not that she told her all of it. Moiraine speaking in codes is tiring sometimes.

[SIUAN reminds her, in an attempt to convice Moiraine to close the Waygate herself. ]

We failed, Moiraine. -> They did fail together At the Eye of the World, you failed. -> She did fail at the eye. The stakes are too high to fail again. -> stating facts

Close the Waygate. -> she asked

[MOIRAINE being the bratty bottom that she is] also where was she going ? SO dramatic i swear, she turns around and start walking to the Waygate as if Siuan was just going to unshield Rand and let her leave because she said no) No. [SIUAN] I don't want to force you.-> but I need and have to know.

You swore to obey me on the Oath Rod. An unbreakable oath, bound by the One Power. -> Moiraine knows , she knows she voices it because she doesn't want to have to use it, feels cornered and is trying to convince and brace herself for whatever will come of it if Moiraine ends up forcing her to use it. A real betrayal or she just violated her wife because of this damned Mission. Both, horrific for her.

Siuan… -> surely Moiraine understood after hearing this what was really going on for Siuan. She doesn't know if she can trust her anymore. For Siuan, surely Moiraine understood why she insisted so much and was ready to do what she never even though about as a possibility or as something that was anything but just wrong ( throwback to Lan's bond in the first suiaraine meeting)

Close it. -> this one feels like she's desperate at this point for her to close it there, not the same intonation at all, she's bracing herself for what is coming. No more feelings, no more asking, no more plea, no more bargaining, she has too know before it's too late, she orders. Even though, that's the intent she puts behind the intonation we can still see it on her face, hear it in her voice, see it in her eyes and in the way she moves.

[SOFTLY] Siuan… -> this one must have felt like a ruse, the same way Moiraine first rejected Siuan's touch because she knew what would happen. The facade would break into pieces and she'd give in. Here, Moiraine softly calling her name, almost like she's begging, after she's been warned, after her herself showed how much she just needed her to at least close it did not feel like something she could allow herself to hear so she cuts her off and the rest is history.

Moiraine Damodred… [MOIRAINE] No, if you have ever loved me, don't do this. [SIUAN] … I command you… … to close the Waygate.

House Lanfer-Al'Thor

[MOIRAINE surprised to even see Lanfear as she thought she escaped having to deal with her, when Verin freed her. I believe that she pieces things together here, not all of it but just enough to understand what she couldn't believe happened to her from Siuan, the last person she'd think would ever do this to her just the moment before she arrived, they did not talk but she understood]

Lanfear.

[LANFEAR LAUGHS]

[MOIRAINE] She's too strong, Siuan. Don't. No. [LANFEAR] I told you the next time I saw you two together, I'd kll her. [RAND] You're not going to touch her. Not if you want my help.

[LANFEAR] Every day you grow more like Lews.

Lucky for you, a broken Amyrlin is more useful to me than a dead one.

[SIUAN] Moiraine, please. (go)

[LAN] Moiraine, please. (come)

Highly recommend you watch this scene in particular

Conclusion

All along Daes Dae'Mar was being played, and we failed to realise that in the current game of the houses we were witnessing, there were 4 houses.

House Lanfear-Al'thor

Lanfear

Verin

Tomas

Rand

Liandrin

Barthanes

House Damodred

Moiraine

Anvaere Damodred (unknowingly)

Siuan

Lan

Alanna, Ihvon & Maksim

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Siuan

Lan

Moiraine Damodred (unknowingly)

Alanna, Ihvon & Maksim

House of The Dragon

Goals: different for each person but utltimately related the Dragon.

Rand Al'thor : leave Cairhien, to go to Falme to free Egwene

Moiraine Damodred : Help Rand, avoid Lanfear.

Siuan Sanche : Help Moiraine, Protect her and Rand from the Forsaken

Al'Lan Mandragoran : Help Moiraine, Protect her from the Forsaken and secondarily Rand.

Alanna Mosvani : Help the dragon reborn/ Moiraine

Ihvon : Help Alanna, the dragon reborn/Moiraine

Maksim : Help Alanna, the dragon reborn/Moiraine

Verin Mathwin : Help fulfill the prophecy

Tomas: Help and assist Verin

The Daugther of the night, Lanfear : Seperate Moiraine and Rand, Kill her, Get Rand to Falme

Liandrin Guirale : Kill Moiraine, Help Lanfear

Barthanes Damodred (unkowingly) : Help his house regain it's lost glory

4 houses playing against each other and for each other at the same time. What went wrong ? Everything. Who won ? No one. What was left of what was before ? Nothing.

I wanted to be a little dramatic. On a more serious note, they all lost and won something, except for Barthanes.So that is all.

To sum it all up, everything that went down with Siuan and Moiraine was genuine and real, Lan and her had a plan all along, everything was going fine until the other players of this game of houses started to place their pawns on the board to try and win the game. In the end, as they were all playing for each other and against each other at the same time no one really won.

On the first board,

Moiraine regained her powers, but still has to deal with Lanfear, Siuan is hurt and in a precarious position for both herself and their mission because she did not listen to Lan and trusted her.

Lan regained Moiraine's trust but Lanfear is still a threat and Siuan.

Rand is still manipulated and a pawn in someone else's game, no matter how much he thought he wasn't anymore because of Lanfear.

Siuan is heart broken that she had to do this to Moiraine, even though her plan still worked and Moiraine regained her powers which is a win but then again did she really win, when she's lying on the floor, hurt and surrounded by enemies, even in the tower, where she was supposed to be at her safest and strongest ?

Lanfear gets Rand but Moiraine isn't dead and she even have to deal with Lan now, as she said in E08, they're dead weight.

On the second board,

Liandrin being Black Ajah is known because of Elayne, Eggy and Nynaeve but now, even Anvaere.

Verin is black ajah and known ( or least suspected to be) because of Siuan (thanks to Leane), because she knows Verin couldn't have known about her plan to help Moiraine or known that she'd ever need to escape. Tomas goes with Verin.

Alanna and Maksim seems to have lost Ihvon.

Thank you for reading, answering the poll, carefully listening and watching. Leave a comment and tell me what you think about this theory-analysis of episode 7. I'd love to hear your opinions, answer your questions etc…

Well, it is finally over.

Onto the next one now,

Here..."Daes dae'Mar theory-analysis : What has been proved so far ?"

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