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faeriekit · 4 months

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"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#free to a good home

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vinnybox · 2 years

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I imagine the family having some trouble with washing Talon!Dick’s wings cause they r just so biGGGG 😭 And when they dry it, it just puffs and FLOOFS up 💀 sjjsjsj

Anyways, goodluck with ur finalss! Im dealing with my last semester exam papers too 😭 Hope you pass <33

Thank you so much!! <3 aaa Good luck on your exams as well! Sending lots of good vibes and luck to you! Kick those exams ass!

They DEFINITELY have some trouble. His wings are large, and he doesn't quite like getting them wet if he can help it. Yes! Warm shower or bath is nice, but getting completely soaked while out patrolling? TERRIBLE situation to be in.

Dick does just fine on his own when he has to wash his wings, but if he misses a spot, his family can help point it out to him and help wash and blow-dry if Dick needs them to! And yes his wings gets all fluffy in the end DGSDHSD

Also have this video cause it makes me think of him :)

This idea DOES spark some different situations involving water and how Talon!Dick deals with them! 👀 I'll make a separate post on free time to discuss it.

Here's a doodle as well! Dick is grumpy here cause of Condiment King probably JDHSDH Look at what you've done, CK. Now he has to take an extra long shower so he doesn't smell like ketchup and mustards 😔 (A tiny part of him is still as dramatic as ever)

#Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Talon!Dick #Talon!Au #Batbros #DC ask #ask #ask vinny #doodle #headcanon #vinny rambles #fandom #DC #reddkass #I am running on tired juice #HSDJD I am so sleepy all the time holy shit #This ask gave me a tiny boost in energy tho <3 ty!

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discountedmuses · 1 year

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quiz: what soft romance cliche are you?

Brann (Talon!Au)

because i love you!

passionate; you are the heated moment of an argument. when the person you care for has done something outrageously stupid or dangerous. all of your pent up emotions that you've kept inside of you come bursting out: "beCAUSE I LOVE YOU!" how could they be so dense. how could YOU be so dense. you've loved each other this whole time. your love tends to be strong, and loud. sometimes it might be hard for you to express your feelings but you let people know that they are cared for. you're also hot. good for you.

Tagged by - @bluesunsdusk

Tagging - @vodon-doctor @healingbrews @xynchronicity and anyone else who wants to!

#dash games #tagged #brann #au #talon!au #oops #im a dumbass and tagged things wrong lol whoops #edited

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puppetmaster13u · 9 months

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DP x DC Crossover where Danny gets de-aged more towards his ghost-age and got adopted.

But he didn't exactly get adopted by a batfamily member, or even any hero, or a villain.

Honestly this Talon who just found a literal toddler that surfaced in a runoff of the Lazarus Pit is rather confused. Like on one hand should they be killing it?? But the idea of killing the strange tiny talon-sibling seems so viscerally wrong???

Welcome to having the first mental breakdown of many funky golden-eyed man that Danny thinks might be more feral than he is. Oh well, at least this person isn't a fruitloop and speaks in sort-of ghost speak? And sometimes more gold-eyed people appear to help care for him? Like they obviously don't know how to do so, but they're trying their best and honestly he's pretty self-sufficient. Ish.

The Court of Owls have no fuckin' clue where a good third of their Talons have disappeared to or why they can't call them back.

#dp x dc crossover #dc x dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #prompts #court of owls #COO Au #Talon #court of owls talons #undead babysitters and adopted family #the undead got to stick together man #is danny ghost king? a new god? simply a powerful protection spirit?#who knows

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long-live-astronerd-ghost-king · 6 months

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DPxDC. Talon Dick. Part 2 of Danny Fenton is a new master of The Court of Owls

~Hail, Emperor, those who are about to die salute you~

Danny was terrified when he got the body of Talon in his morgue. The Court of Owls was notorious for leaving no trace after work. But Talon, a young man only a few years older than him, did not look like a mindless killing machine at all. Of course, the first time he had a couple of stab wounds from his new acquaintance but after numerous assurances that his help would remain their little secret and that he would not inform his superiors that he had fucked up on the mission, Talon began to trust him a little. as one dead boy to another. In a few months, most of the Talons come to him for first aid, and of course he got attached to the guys. After all, Gotham is not Amity Park and without the other dead ones around Phantom felt a little lonely. It was nice to give these poor people a few quiet minutes. Danny’s assistant has warned him many times not to mess with the Court of Owls, but Danny are Phantom and from the first time he met one of them he was planning to lose his temper and beat the boys' bosses to free them.

Fenton was not prepared to lead the Court of Owls. Even if Danny got his education as a villain he never thought he’d work according to his profession. But leave a whole den? nest? of creatures turned into weapons he could not. Of course, the best choice after defeating the leaders of the Court would be to destroy the entire organization. But Danny couldn’t do that.

Talons were killers, means of intimidation, even if not of their own volition. They will be killed (again) or sent to prison for the rest of their lives. Talons needed safety and a good therapist, not all of this. Danny’s scared, and he doesn’t know how to take care of them, but the others won’t do it. People are afraid of everything different. They won’t care that these dead are just victims, they’ll only see monsters. He could be half-human, but now he has to think like a full ghost. Talons are dead like him. And they have been dehumanized, tortured, used. People can be cruel. To do the right thing, he has to protect them.

It was difficult for Danny to identify likes and dislikes of his new friends because they always had the same facial expression and were taught that they had no feelings. Bullshit. Danny’s parents also think ghosts have no emotions, but they just have wrong theories and do not manipulate them to make ghosts think the same. Well, maybe it’s because they don’t think ghosts can think at all, but still! So, Danny know that number three loves strawberry jam, and number five always steals some of his cereal, and number 11 always gets closer to the music column to enjoy the sound. And he also know that the Talons weren’t fully fed in their organization because they definitely have problems with their digestive system, and he is going to fix it. Vlad said that he had trouble taking human food for only a few months after the portal accident, and some of the Talons were dead for years and still use injecting nutrient solutions. When a Dead Man can’t have a couple of spoons of treats, well, that’s a crime.

He needs to find a way to consult with Frostbite and conduct a full-fledged health diagnostics for his 'minions'. And he needs to settle the paperwork so guys have a legitimate reason to live in the Infinite Realms.

~~~~~ Danny: Hey Jazz, I’m in trouble. When can you come to Gotham? This time I don’t mind hearing a little advice.

~~~~~

Even though Dr Fenton smelled like death and blood all the time, the smell was different. And this difference was enough that something dead inside them swore allegiance to this Owl at their will. Not that they had it, of course. Weapons don’t have free will. But at least pretending to be able to choose is nice.

The new Master was weird, but in a good way. Not that this Talon know more about what is good than any other Talon. Ah, Di- Talon had a headache. Anyway, serving him is right. They all feel it..And feelings matter!! Well, they are not supposed to have them too but… looks like the young owl didn’t mind.

Master was not angry at how Talon № 4 frowned when the master had to pull a bullet out of his shoulder, and he missed Talon's sweet laughter when it saw the battle of Signal and Spice King on TV. The only times he raised his voice to them were when they were trying to threaten people near the master. Looks like this owl wanted to instill fear on his own. Strange. Usually there was always an enemy of the court who had to be hunted down and destroyed.

~~~~~

Danny: See, when you kill people, you do not make it easy for me. First, I will need to examine the bodies and write the report of their death. Second, if their souls remain restless, they will become my problem again. No more trying to get the cashier to have a heart attack. He said they ran out of the product I needed, not that he’s cursing my family for the next millennium. No one wants to see any more angry ghosts in Gotham. Me after a 24-hour shift is enough, okay?

Talons were alarmed. So far the master had shown no signs that he might want to completely break one of the weapons. But what if this owl is planning on punishing them for all their mistakes at once when he’s really angry?

Talon is not supposed to show initiative or empathy. But Talon 12, who suffered an injury in the course of a mission with old owls, has not yet recovered. They inadvertently hid it when the leadership changed. 12 has not yet met Doctor Fenton, and they do not know whether the privileges of medical care are retained now when they belong to him. So far, the Master has been rather careless about their movements and a few of them have slipped away for a while to check on a fellow. They didn’t lie if they weren’t asked about another weapon, right? They shouldn’t be punished too severely when the Owl finds out. Talons were hoping that Doctor Fenton, who was not in a hurry to look at the document of the court, would allow them not to write off the damaged thing. № 12 was an old and experienced weapon and could train beginners even if it has only one hand now.

Well, that was the plan. Talons allowed themselves to become too careless. Terrible mistake. Even the Owl that is usually nice to them remains dangerous. They need to find a way to satisfy their young master. Young Owls always have anger issues, not that Talons can judge.

The youngest Talon shared information that he sometimes had flashbacks of a working red bird who always had a murderous expression until he got to the coffee pot fluid. And it's non-Talon past was never afraid of this bird. The chick could always be calmed with this dark liquid. Coffee is something that will return the master to the favorable mood!

Talons rejoiced at this remarkable discovery and decided to send one of them on a mission as soon as possible to get rid of the potential danger.

~~~~

Danny: Thanks for the coffee, man. Hey, you also took another drink, judging by the dollars in the check. I'm so proud of you! How it was? Good?

Talon thought for a second and nodded. Yes, it was good. He didn’t drink the drink himself but when a coffee shop employee wrote down his order with a trembling hand, a boy appeared in the door.

This boy, now almost a young man, he was from his memories. Another coffee was automatically added to the order.

On his way out, Talon walked up to the sleeping chick and gave a cup to him. Even without opening his eyes, the bat’s cub sniffed and sucked the drink. Dick chirped with delight and patted boy's head, ignoring the frozen people.

That's a true magic drink which is commanding the minds of the powerful of this world. Yes, it will help them for sure!

~~~~

Danny: See, Jazz, Dick’s making progress! He went to the coffee shop today. That’s great, isn’t it?

Jazz: First, don’t call him that, we’re still not sure that’s his name and not the way Owls used to insult him.

Danny: Hey, the fact that he hissed when you called him Richard proves nothing. I don’t like being called Daniel either, or, over my dead body, Dan. I have to call him something. They’re all Talons. What are your suggestions? Jazz: We’ll talk about this later. Now back to the coffee question. Danny, did you forget anything when you let Talon go for a walk? Danny: Which one? Jazz: Don’t play dumb! Did you open the news headlines today or not? This is serious! Danny: What? Shit...civilian clothes. I didn’t think he’d wear a combat suit for it. Jazz: Didn’t you give them outfits for everyday use? Danny: Yeah, I did! But they still wear their Halloween outfits. All the time. Look, it’s not my fault they take everything I say as an order. When I asked them to make the tea and our teapot broke, they broke into some guy’s house and stole it. Jazz: Which guy? Did you at least apologize? Danny: One of Hood’s goons. I’m pretty sure he’s already met Dick on patrol, 'cause the first thing he did called Jason and start crying about being followed. Lucky for him Red was at my house that night and went to calm goon down. But I swear to you, Dick was a little shit on purpose. Of all the apartments choose his? Nah, such coincidences do not exist.

Jazz: I could be happy that he’s getting more independent in his decision making but now I feel like I have to offer the poor guy a discount therapy course.

Damian: Drake, we need to talk. I know about your investigation. You suspect one of the Talons is our missing Grayson. I’m willing to provide some evidence in exchange for… Tim: I don’t suspect, I know that. Damian: What? Where from? Tim: Well, the quadruple somersault was a good hint. And the fact that the Red Hood ran from him through the streets screaming that he wouldn’t take lunch from a damn golden child is also a tip. Damian:...Not a word to my father until we know more, right? I don’t want my older brother thrown in Arkham. Tim: Agree. It’s not like he doesn’t have a memory problem. He wouldn’t have made Alfred worried if leaving was his choice. We need more information.

Meanwhile in Gotham, Alfred aka the only one batfam member with more than one functioning brain cell *on his way to his first grandson and future husband of his sweet angel Jason*.

Danny: Jazz, we need to clean this house right now. Jazz: Since when do you start spring cleaning? Danny: I don’t know how to explain, it’s not a ghost sense, it’s more an unexplained sense of danger. Where’s the vacuum cleaner?

~~~~~

Talon №5 stood in the knitting shop in thought. What color would the little mistress prefer? It should remain useful even if the Owl does not give them direct orders. Knitting a cute sweater for mistress Dani would be a good start. Yeah, that color’s gonna be perfect. And maybe it should stop holding those needles like a weapon, it makes the cashier nervous, and he wants to pay without saving a civilian from losing consciousness.

~~~~~

Danny became a little alarmed when Talon threw himself at the old man standing on the porch. To his surprise, the Briton readily embraced the bird, and Dick let him. Talons who stood behind Danny happily chirped. Making their youngest member happy things always meant something good.

Alfred: Gentlemen, good afternoon. I guess I should thank you all for taking care of my dear grandson. Would you let me come in for a cup of tea?

#dpxdc prompt #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #dpxdc au #talon dick grayson

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ky-landfill · 6 months

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speak not a whispered word of them

#Baby talon dick #dick grayson #duke thomas #damian wayne #reverse robin au #Zitka #tiny assassin #fic rec #birds and brothers and other assorted synonyms #AND #baby talon dick by iselsis

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hijacksecrets · 8 months

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Hiccup's no good very bad day.

@vindikaetion and i have been working nonstop on a Jumanji AU (which we're calling Maces and Talons cuz gotta have that show reference) since watching the OG one the other day hahaha we already have it all outlined and like. 15k words total LOL hyperfixation go brrrrr

#my art #hijack #my stuff #how to train your dragon #rise of the guardians #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #rotg jack frost #astrid hofferson #jumanji AU #Maces and Talons

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fandom-lover-extra · 9 months

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DC X DP Prompt: Talons

Okay, so you know how everyone talks about how Danny and Jason would recognize each other as members of the undead in a way?

Well, what about Talons? The Talons are basically undead assassins, so Danny would also recognize them. And maybe if you want to go with the idea that Danny is the Ghost King, the Talons might even feel more loyalty to Danny than the Court of Owls.

Or maybe it would leave them conflicted and confused. Maybe, with that confusion, it would give them a chance to fight back against the brainwashing of the Court of Owls and make their own decisions.

#dp x dc #dc universe #dp x dc crossover #dps fandom #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #court of owls #talons #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc au #ghost king danny #ghost king au

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r00tten · 4 months

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,,,doodle/art dump lol :3

Second images Raph belongs to that evil mf who I enjoy @pasteilian 😒

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sualne · 2 months

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gear 5 & sunbath

#one piece #op vamp au #my art #described in alt text #if you read the fic and go 'but he doesnt actually burn in the sun! why is there smoke here?' because it looked good/more interesting #i just love painting vamp luff. so happy with how his hands turned out in the first one. bb got talons yippee #imagine his eye scar is there in the second one

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allineedisonedream · 2 years

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Birdflash (villain but not really villain) AU

(can’t really think of a name so this will be it for now)

But yeah, some sketches and concept art for a birdflash AU idea I had some time ago

and some of my thoughts on the au if interested:)

-talon dick finding abused Wally (after Wally run away from home)

-talon dick kind of adopting/kidnapping Wally and bringing him to his lair that he build when he wants to get away from the court

-Wally and dick grew up together (wally refusing to go back home)

-dick talon

-Wally (vigilante I guess not sure yet)

-talon dick can talk but the court didn’t think its necessary for him to learn how to write or read so Wally teaches him

Also, I swear I had some sketches for a comic somewhere, but I can’t find them anymore.

If I do though I’m gonna try finishing them …

#birdflash #dick grayson #Wally West #dick grayson talon #birdflash villian au #one-dream art

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vinnybox · 2 years

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Okay, I really need to know: how do villains react to Talon!Dick? Joker, Penguin, Ivy, Riddler, Killer Croc, you know classic Gotham rogues who know him almost whole his life? And how does Dick react to them? Does he continue to fight crime after transformation and use his wings to hit bad guys during combat? What if some villain is allergic to feathers?

I hadnt thought that far ahead so it's not a solid idea yet but here's a lil brainstorming! Anyone feel free to add to this! Even in tags I'll read them :D I wouldn't mind learning more since my knowledge is quite surface level compared to how much comics and information there is out there. Sorry if this seems like nonsense DHSHDJ I just woke up-

I think a little after Dick's disappearance, they'll catch wind of Nightwing being missing eventually and maybe quite quickly too. Im sure some of the villains would even take the chance to taunt the fam about it and usually it does NOT end well for the villains cause the fam are on the look out for Nighwing. They’re worried, they’re tired, they’re trying, and they do not have time to deal with them trying to get under their skin. They just want him back.

Like you’ll for sure hear the classic, “Your little Blue Bird gone missing?”, “So I’ve heard that our dear Nightwing hasn’t been showing up as of late!” or anything along those. And Im sure the thugs talks about him to.

“Nightwing’s been gone for a long while. You think something happened?”

“Who cares? Less of the bats to worry about.“

“I dunno, man. I’d take Nightwing over Batman or any of the bat brats. One of the kid’s got a damn sword! And don’t even mention the Red Hood...”

“What about me?” (Jason)

“oH SHIT, RED HOOD-“

I think that in this AU Dick would eventually be back out to patrol and fight crime with the batfam again at some point!

IF a villain is allergic to feathers that would be absolutely hilrious actually DJSHGDHD LIKE IMAGINE YOU PLANNED OUT ALL THESE SCHEMES... and then a guy with wings shows up and your allergy acts out DHSHDJ I’d just give up and go home HDGSHD

ALSO ALSO? Slade, Deathstroke, whatever we wanna call him tbh DHSGDH. from what I remember, he is quite fixated on Dick/Nightwing so like, he might be some of the first few to notice Dick hasn’t been showing up. That’s definitely going to make him suspicious and curious on what might have happened to Nightwing.

When the villains see him again tho, Im sure they’re in for a rather big surprise tbh. Like imagine seeing this kid you fought with so often and pretty much watched him grow and change, and then suddenly he lost most of what you remembered about him and now has wings and eyes do some glowy shit and is a bit more stabby than you remembered.

Feel free to add onto this or correct anything!

#Dick Grayson #Talon!Dick #Talon!AU #ask #ask vinny #DC ask #headcanon #brainstorming #long answer #magicalus-godslayer #watch me make shit up and try to make sense of it asmr #VERY sorry in advance if smth is ooc or doesnt make sense #Im trying my best OUGHw #I'll have this AU figured out THOROUGHLY one day #sorry this took so long to answer as well DHGSDH #I tried to plan out how the answers be GDHSD

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watercloud7 · 2 months

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BATFAM PROMPT:

Feral Talon Dad Bruce Wayne AU

The bat kids are raised by a Cryptid zombie horror murder man who loves them very very much❤️

Bruce is sent to kill the Graysons by the court of Owls and kidnap their child to make him a Talon.

Dick witnesses the whole thing but because he’s so young in this AU like basically a toddler he’s terrified and when Bruce picks him up to take him back to the Owls Dick snuggles into him and sobs and screeches and he’s angry and confused and scared and tiny but This massive murder monster who killed his parents is the only comfort he has.

Dick is alone and he has no one. No one is coming to save him, no one is coming for him , his mama and daddy are gone and the only thing left is …. Whatever the hell this cryptid horror zombie is.

So Dick, takes his comfort where he can, which today comes in form of zombi does Bruce Wayne and that’s what it takes i guess.

Bruce breaks out of conditioning and vanishes into thin air with the kid. Only he doesn’t go back to the court.

Maybe this Bruce takes baby Grayson away and raises him as a feral murder baby.

They live secluded and away from anyone and anything. Maybe the mountains in Nanda parbat. They’re so discreet and good the league of assassins doesn’t even know their mountains are technically compromised.

Bruce raises Dick in complete secrecy. Literally like a wild child, Bruce occasionally travels to the town over to bring back toys and books and whatever he finds that he thinks would make Dick happy.

Dick sees and longs for peoples and connections and more. He loves Bruce but Bruce is basically like Ariel’s dad WORSE he’s basically mother gothel, he’s seen so many horrors and he’s so paranoid. He just wants his son to stay alive and away from any harm.

keeping Dixk locked away and safe from the Owls that mean him horrific torture and agony. Safe from the world, Safe with Daddy😭❤️.

SIGN LANGUAGE ENTHUSIAST BATFAM HEADCANON.

Bruce’s voice is … zombified and uncomfortable to use, so he teaches himself sign language and then teaches Dick. They invent their own dialect. Just for them😭

Dick gets big enough to want to see the world, to understand what happened, to find himself outside of his adopted eldritch Dad, and MAYBE! Make a damn friend like he’s been seeing in those picture books Bruce brings for him every week.

He “runs away” in a fit of teenage rebellion or whatever you wanna call it, after Dick gets caught sneaking into a village a couple kilometres from their Cosy little cave they like to call home.

Bruce is furious and terrified and he’s everything a scared father is after finding your kid missing from their room when they were supposed to be home hours ago.

Dick explodes in frustration and tears and off he goes.

He goes back to the beginning. To Gotham.

A half deadly Half sunshine all Feral Dick Grayson is roaming the world all alone when he stumbles across a considerably less feral

Less deadly Jason Todd.

Jay is an orphan and this weirdly affectionate clueless terror of a guy just imprinted on him

and won’t leave him alone.

I mean Scary bird boy is a stage 5 dumbass, zero bark, Zero bite 100% cuddles kinda guy.

(Seriously this dude has no concept of personal space and it’s bordering on infuriating) but Jason is like 99.9% sure he just saw him down crime alley snapping the resident rapists necks.

The men that call girls avoided and the police did isn’t care to arrest, so clearly bird boy is not a bad guy but he’s definitely not Harmless either.

Jason likes his style though.

Maybe the court of owls tries going after Jason or tries to kidnap Dick again.

Bruce finds them in the nick of time and slaughters every single one of the Owls once and for all.

Shenanigans ensue and they all bond.

Love love love. Bruce literally adopts him the minute he sees him.

Bruce and Dick teach Jay sign language.

Jason teaches Bruce and Dick how to read.

Jason loves his feral dad and brother.

MAYBE! Tim parents were Owls.

The rich wealthy elites of Gotham succumb to their nefarious ways in an ironic and cathartic end, survived by their heir Timothy Jackson Drake. Who up until now they had been grooming into becoming the next Owl man, he’s been trained to kill and torture and every other bad guy skills he needs to be their evil little successor.🫡

Bruce gets rid of them though.

WOMP WOMP.

Maybe after killing Timmy’s parents Bruce is just like…

Bruce: awwwwww this reminds me of how Dick’s surprise adoption went!

Tim:…. Bro you can’t just murder my parents and call this a surprise adoption.

Bruce: we can call this a kidnapping if you wanna keep it 💯 but either way you’re coming home with me

Tim: …. I ain’t even like em like that fr. Let me just pack a bag real quick.

The Drakes parenting was abhorrent so after Bruce kidnaps him ,Tim is viciously violent at first but after Bruce shows Tim patience and kindness.

Tim develops Stockholm syndrome like instantly and just latches onto Bruce like it’s the first instance of true love and care he’s ever felt.

Jason is actually the most normal and well

adjusted out of his Psychotic family. Ironically he’s the only one out of all of them that hasn’t killed someone lol.

Tim latches on violently to Dick & Jason, it’s adorable and scary and very creepy in a wholesome way. Tim absorbs any kind of attention like a sponge and has separation anxiety. He likes to watch them sleep and follow them every where they go like a puppy, only he does it in the shadows and takes candid pictures of them he collects religiously.

He’s a complete weirdo.

Dick finds him Absolutely delightful, he wants to gobble him all up and cuddle at every opportunity, he enables all Of his bad habits and Jason does his best to damage control and encourage Tim to dabble in more healthy hobbies and ways of showing affection but ultimately Dick Grayson remains undefeated as a bad influence.

Dick is a good big brother, so obviously he’s gotta participate in his baby brothers love language so Timmy can feel seen and appreciated.

So now Jason has TWO stalkers shadowing him everywhere he goes. 3 when Bruce is feeling sentimental.

Jason tolerates his families psychotic and feral behaviour because he loves them more then life itself and if anyone else said anything like that about them he’d snap their necks.

Jason shows his affection in normal ways like beating up peoples trying to start a fight with his brothers and cooking for them because they can’t cook to save their lives.

Sometimes Jason will wonder on how exactly Dixk survived all those years in that cave with an immortal Bruce who doesn’t need to eat.

(Bruce would catch wild animals and Dixk

Would eat the meat raw, sometimes he’d hold his blood soaked hand full of flesh out wanting to share with dad, but Bruce would just drag Dick closer to him and nudge him to keep eating his dinner)

Jason feels bad and bakes him sugary monstrosities included but not limited too:

Oreo chocolate chip maple soaked marshmallow pancakes.

Sour candy lucky charm jam filled donuts.

Triple Chocolate Nutella and peanut butter Reese cookies.

Jason is appropriately horrified at what he’s created every time.

But Dick tasted sugar for the first time and doesn’t know how to act.

The kids are living their best lives but Bruce Is SPIRALLING.

The more kids Bruce acquires the more stressed he gets.

There’s a really angsty scene where Bruce breaks down holding onto his kids and crying. He’s not a monster, he just wants these kids to be safe. He doesn’t wanna kill anymore, he doesn’t wanna hurt things anymore.

He wants to go home with his babies.

He wants to take all of them back to their busted creepy cave in nanda parbat.

But Dickie Isn’t a baby anymore, he wants his family close but he also wants MORE, he wants to be around people he wants to discover the world. Jason was born and raised in Gotham and Bruce can’t in good conscience rip his life apart like that.

And then there’s Timmy. Honestly the Tim is this AU is an unhinged obsessive gremlin, he just goes wherever his family wants to go, nothing else really matters to him but them.

And so Bruce decides to stay in Gotham and hides them all in an abandoned building. It’s kind of like a nest.

Bruce stashes his babies in a Makeshift safe house until he can figure out a way to make all this work.

Maybe Alfred finds their weird little makeshift Family when he stumbles into their safe house and manages not to get immediately killed.

Alfred is VERY worried about the state in which these kids are living.

He vows to lure them and their Dad to a safer better living arrangement.

Maybe Bruce gets severely hurt and the kids kidnap Alfred to patch Bruce up.

Alfred is appropriately horrified at the undead creature growling and hissing while he treats their mortally terminal wounds, but keeps as much composure as an ex-military general would about it.

Bruce like totally imprints on Alfred And like a cat, he drags each and every one of his kids into Alfred life for him to babysit and look after while Bruce goes out to do whatever zombie dads do.

Alfred has no choice in the matter and has effectively acquired spontaneous grandkids and a son.

Bruce: daddy?

Alfred: …. Boy do I look like-⁉️

They move in with Alfred basically over night.

Damian is either created Through the league of assassins who stole the courts strongest talon’s DNA (Bruce’s DNA) to recreate it. Or any other way I guess I donno? Maybe Talia and Bruce got jiggy with It at one point when they were in those mountains. PFFFF LOL GIVE ME IDEAS.

Gonna run with the first idea ?

Damian is created in a lab, Maybe the Drakes latest project was too recreate their greatest success which had been Talon!Bruce.

Tim revisits his parents lab randomly and discovers this. An abandoned lab and abandoned cryogenic chamber containing a baby.

Tim grabs the kids and runs back home.

Jason is exasperated and Alfred panics a bit cause…. Huh?!?!

Jason: Seriously guys? We can’t afford Another surprise adoption right now.

Alfred: do you mean a “kidnapping”

Jason: don’t be mean! It’s their love language 😡

Alfred: wonderful… is it safe to assume I’ll be raising yet another grandchild?

Jason: that’s the spirit, anyway we gotta find a much bigger apartment than this, it’s getting crowded.

Alfred: Ah, my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience caused by my oversight. It seems I should have anticipated my being abducted by a feral street urchin and his entourage of lethal pets. Quite the oversight on my part, I’ll begin apartment hunting right away sir.

Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian: *living their best life while Alfred tries to wrangle them out of shenanigans*

Anyways They take Damian in and he’s just as feral and eldritch horror as his daddy. He’s got his big brother’s trademark behaviours too!

Tim’s severely anti social mess , Dick’s creepy uncanny valley nature and Jason’s love for baking!

It’s so sweet how much he takes after his sibling and Bruce couldn’t be more proud of his litter of horror.

Alfred is honestly such a trooper through all this, salute the GOAT.

I wrote this on a whim! If y’all wanna hear more about this AU, if you want it written, let me know!

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