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postmodernbeliever · 2 months

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fox mulder nsfw alphabet (for female/feminine readers)

an a-z of what's it's like to be loved by fox mulder in allllll the ways you wish you could be.

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i’ve never made one of these before so i followed another post’s example! a lot of this is chubby-girl friendly but also works for any body type. also, i got carried away so enjoy how long this is LOL. <3

my ao3 | word count: 3,537

content tags: smut smut smut SO MUCH SMUT, dom fox mulder, soft fox mulder, nsfw alphabet challenge, lots of kinks but i don't wanna spoil you gotta read it :), mentions of period/period blood, cross-posted on ao3

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a: aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he is sweet. like, really sweet. he loves to be gentle, to tell you how pretty you are and how good you did for him, praising you up and down and giving you lots of slow, adoring kisses. he also tends to get a bit bashful, because even if he just fucked you senseless you still give him butterflies; so often he hides his face in the crook of your neck or lays on your stomach, and talks quietly, like he’s shy. all his guards are down, and he is wholly dependent and doting on you.

actionwise, he cleans you up and helps you into some clean pajamas, but he usually leaves you bottom-less because you tend to be sensitive and the feeling of fabric between your legs can be an overload on your senses. but he covers you however he can, and he combs through your hair, gets you water, helps you get comfortable in bed. he’s so gentle it’s straight-up dreamy.

b: body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself, fox likes his hands. he knows they’re pretty big, considering he’s a bit tall, and he thinks they look strong, but he takes more pride in them also being soft. he has some callouses, but the pads of his fingers are smooth. and when he met you, you told him how nice they looked and felt, and that won him over.

on you, he can’t pick between your love handles/waist and thighs. he loves to squeeze where you have the most skin, and both of those places are where your body curves. he loves your softer edges, and because his hands are big, he can grab a lot more of you. he also loves how you react to him touching you in these places- you’re sensitive there, and you shiver when he drags his fingers across you or grips you hard. your reaction plays a big part in favoriting those spots. (bonus: he loves your hands too, because they’re smaller than his and caress his face softly… and scratch up his back. we'll get to that later.)

c: cum (anything to do with cum)

you actually tease him about this a lot, because he gets really eager sometimes and can’t hold it in. he’s developed a routine where he takes his time with you and draws your pleasure out as long as he can because he knows the second he starts actually fucking you, he won’t last long; and he is so much more interested in letting you be the one who receives, he gets off on stringing you out. also, it takes you a while to cum, so his pleasure-driven role is that much more important to him, because he will not stop until you do. and he loves when you finally cum way more than when he does. he likes to taste you, and make you taste yourself when he kisses you with coated lips.

d: dirty secret

the night of the first day he met you, he had an insanely vivid wet dream about you. even having been with you intimately plenty of times now, he gets nervous to bring it up, because when you’re not around, he still draws on that dream to get off to. it's kind of his guilty pleasure. in it, you drag him into his office at work and let him eat you out on his desk, all over his files and papers. you were in a pleated schoolgirl skirt, and you kept it on for him to tug at. one day he’ll tell you (probably) and buy you a skirt, just so he can have the real thing.

e: experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

the majority of his experience comes from all the porn he’s watched. despite his drive, he was always the one to take it slow with past girlfriends, and either they didn’t stick around long enough to wait for him, or when he did sleep with them, he didn’t have enough practice to make it how they wanted it. but he paid attention to how girls like to be touched and fantasized about being good at those parts. when he met you, you were even more inexperienced than him, so everything he did was like heaven to you, and he only gets better each time. he feels lucky to have you to learn with because you’re patient and you love everything he does, so he doesn’t feel pressure.

f: favorite position

fox is somewhat old-fashioned. he loves missionary because it’s simple, and he can kiss you more that way, and it’s easy to be gentle or rough depending on what you both want. he also likes standing missionary for the same reason, particularly for times when you want him to be rougher. but the freaky part of him likes these because he wants to watch you surrender, to see all of you beneath him, powerless, as he brings you to climax. he wants to see your eyes haze over, how you struggle to speak while he pins you down. that way, you’re all his.

fox also really loves cowgirl, because he can still see all of you that way, but when you’re feeling particularly eager he likes letting you do the work. you’re still submissive even on top, because he needs to guide your hips and tell you to keep moving. he likes cowgirl even more when you ride him while he’s upright, like against the headboard or in a chair, because you bury your face in his neck as you work, and he loves being so close to you. plus, it took you little to no time to figure out exactly how to ride him right. and because he cums so fast most of the time, you usually ride him through his overstimulation, which puts him out of commission for the night. he can get obsessive about how good that one feels.

g: goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

he can be, because he’s naturally got a goofy streak. but unless you’re feeling giggly or playful, he just falls into that mode of being soft and dominant, talking dirty, and trying to fluster you.

h: hair (how well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

he keeps it trim just for hygiene, but you expressed a lack of concern for that, especially since you don’t always keep yourself trim either. it can be tedious to always be clean-shaven (and he doesn’t mind if you’re a little hairy, just like you don’t care if he is.) but, he does not touch his chest hair, because you are vehement that he keeps it.

i: intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

god, he is so intimate that it can leave you blushing for days after the fact. he does nothing but kiss and nip and lick, mouth and hands always on you; always whispering pretty things in your ears, dirty and gentle about how good you feel and smell and sound, about how pretty you look when he’s inside you. and innocent things, too. he tells you how pretty your tummy is, and your collarbones, every little part of your body gets admired. he tells you about how he loves your laugh and your smile, and how he's so lucky to have you all to himself. he takes every chance to make you feel cherished and important. he tells you how in love he is over and over like a mantra so that by the time he’s got you in the clouds, all you can think is he loves me, he loves me, he loves me…

j: jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he jacks off fairly often, but only because he’s usually thinking of you. if you’re not around or he’s away on a case, he gets needy and takes matters into his own hands, because he can’t help his dirty mind. he’s done it everywhere- his office, the work bathroom, in just about every room in his house. and, though he’d probably never admit it to you, he likes to hold your clothes sometimes when he does, because the smell of your perfume drives him crazy. he always takes something of yours when he goes away, just in case.

k: kink (one or more of their kinks)

okay, he’s got a few, but mainly because they’re kinks based on how you act or what he wants for you. so we’ll start with the kinks surrounding your pleasure:

obvious by now, praise. he loooves to praise. he’s crazy about you and how you make him feel, both emotionally and physically; he’s protective and loving, and he prizes you. he would make you cum just with words if he could. he adores pet names and anything he can call you, he will- princess, sweetheart, darling, honey, love, all of it. especially good girl, his personal favorite. he wants you to feel like the most special girl in the world because, to him, you are.

fox loves begging. he likes it for him, he likes to beg you for more, but he prefers when you beg. there’s something about watching you need him, and how your voice gets high-pitched and disgustingly lewd as you tell him what you want him to do. he loves being in control.

daddy!subspace. there are times when fox gets a little too into it, and you fall into a subspace. he loves this, especially yours, because you mix his name up with daddy, and every freudian instinct in his brain fires like crazy. he loves when you call him daddy, because that opens the praise door nice and wide, and he loves helping you come down after, because you get so flushed and nervous and you’re simply adorable when you need help speaking and asking for what you want.

now, fox’s personal kinks still have to do with you, but they're out of his own selfishness:

belly bulges. it’s no surprise because he’s so possessive, but something inside him snaps than when he takes your hand and presses it against the pudge of your tummy, where you can feel his cock poking against your walls. he loves being just big enough to fill you, and he loves how you go cross-eyed every time he does this, too- it’s just as hot for you as it is for him.

hands. he loves your hands and he wants them on him always, scratching him, marking his body with little red lines. they’re just small enough to make him feel big, and he loves your painted nails, too. he loves it when you pull on his shirt or his belt loops. he loves when you press them all over his face and chest because you don’t know what to do with them. he also loves to use his hands on you, to wrap softly around your neck and wrists, to pin your hips down, to push inside you; he has a penchant for sticking his thumbs in your mouth while he fucks you, too, because you always suck them like it’s your job. but there’s nothing like your hands on him.

here’s the big one: your period. fox likes making you a pillow princess, but he’s a monster when it comes to your period. you were worried when he said he didn’t mind the blood, but that first time he ate you during your time of the month was otherworldly. he loves the extra sensitivity you have, because it takes little to nothing to get you screaming, and some dark part of him loves to smear your blood all across his mouth and his chin. he loves to kiss you with those lips, leaving bloody prints up your stomach and chest, all over your neck and mouth. he craves the mess, the taboo nature of it all, and he loves how it’s a way of gently defiling you; mixing your blood with his spit, with his cum, it makes you his and him yours. maybe there’s a screw loose on his part, but if cannibalism didn’t mean you’d die, he’d fucking eat you whole. he even likes the taste. like i said, obsessive- but it’s kind of hot, isn't it?

l: location (favorite places to do the do)

honestly, anywhere. just the fact that you want him is good enough. he’s gotten you off in restaurant bathrooms, and at family homes during holidays when you just needed him and couldn’t wait. but he is partial to his couch or his bed because he likes having you all to himself in his own space.

m: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

acting stupid. he loves when you ask him to explain things to you, even if you understand on your own, because he likes teaching you; he also gets all hot and bothered when you pout or frown, or bat your eyelashes innocently, saying “can you start at the beginning?” or “can you go a little slower for me?”. because he knows you’re smart and the slight frustration of you acting like you’re not mixed with the need to pamper you gets him going like crazy.

saying his name. if you call him fox, or sometimes foxie, he’s just about ready to fall to his knees. nobody calls him fox, so to hear you say it isn’t just intimate and special, but it’s also so sexy. you say it so many ways, but when you want him, he’s never liked the sound of it more.

his biggest motivation is your neediness. it seems that when you get going, you never want to stop. you want him to keep kissing, keep touching, keep licking, whatever it is you want more, and when you finish you want to start all over again because you get drunk on him- and that could keep fox going until he dies. he wants to give you everything you want, even if you never return the favor. he likes being yours to use.

n: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

fox does not like to degrade you, which might be odd for a guy who’s so controlling and protective, but it’s not in his nature. he loves you. he cherishes you. he couldn’t tell you you’re dirty, or you’re a slut, or any of the terms that might get other people off, because he doesn’t believe them. he thinks you’re perfect, an angel, so good, and he only wants to remind you of those. he wants you to feel loved.

he also won’t hurt you. certain things he’ll do, like he’ll choke you or pin your wrists down, but he won’t be overly rough and he won’t leave bruises or make it hurt. you don’t fight back, so he doesn’t need to be anything other than assertive.

o: oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he prefers giving 100%. he likes it when you give him head because he likes seeing your pretty eyes look up at him, but he cums too fast to enjoy you doing it- plus, he can’t hear your noises when your mouth is full. he’d much rather just fuck you if he’s going to receive any pleasure. and god, is he good at it.

p: pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he’s slow until he gets inside you. typically he likes to take his time on you, but when he starts fucking you, it starts to feel so good and you sound so pretty that he loses a little control and starts being rough. that part usually takes the shortest amount of time but it feels fantastic because he goes fast.

q: quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

if you two are going to have a quickie, it’s going to be because you’re extremely horny in a place where he can’t take his time, and he simply can’t resist relieving you. but he really likes to be alone with you and go slow, draw it out as long as he can, and take good care of you. he wants sex to be special, he doesn’t want you to ever feel like it’s just a means to an end. sex is about love for him, not just a way to get his fix.

r: risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

fox is willing to try anything, but you both are a bit vanilla, in that sense. you only need him to feel good, and he doesn’t want to restrain you from being able to move and moan and touch him. most of the experimenting is verbal- he likes to push how far he can tease, and how much he can say to get you there. the trend seems to be that the dirtier he talks, the more pleasure you feel, and he wants to max you out.

s: stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he’s gotten better at lasting, but he can’t draw it out too long. he has a hard time stopping himself. but he can go a few rounds without getting tired or spending it all because of how eager he is to keep touching you, which is nice. that’s why he spends his time on you, because you can last longer, and he doesn’t need much.

t: toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

fox doesn’t have any toys. he is more than okay with you having them because if he’s not around, he can’t expect you to wait for him if you really need a release, and sometimes your hands aren’t enough. if he’s away on a case, sometimes he’ll call at night and talk you through it over the phone, so he at least has a little part in it. but he likes to be the one and only thing you can get it from when he’s with you, and so do you.

u: unfair (how much they like to tease)

oh, he loves to tease. he loves to talk and talk and talk, so much that sometimes you have to ask him to shut up and go faster. he wants to see you completely flustered from just his words, and honestly, he can get you halfway there on conversation alone. he knows just what to say, and how to say it, and it can be torturous, but you love it. and physically he teases, too, because he favors stringing you out. it can feel unfair at times, but you like it too much to care.

v: volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

he has two sides. most of the time, he’s quiet, low, gruff; he grunts, he moans, sometimes growls if he’s really feeling possessive. but when he’s close, it turns into the most adorable whining. right in your ear, too. he pants and stammers, and easily gets overwhelmed. it’s not too high-pitched, but it’s needy and uncontrollable, and it sounds so, so pretty.

w: wild card (random headcanon)

fox never kisses and tells. he doesn’t have many friends, but if anybody tries to inquire into his sex life, he won’t say a word. he wants to keep it all to himself, and he refuses to let anyone know a thing about you or how you act when you’re intimate with him. he respects your privacy and he doesn’t want anyone else thinking about you in that way. he also knows he has something special with you- sex with you is really emotional and involved for him, and he doesn’t want to just air out his love to other people.

x: x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

(oh myyy, am i blushing.) a bit thick, and give or take maybe six, six and a half inches hard- no, give. he’s big. it’s veiny, especially when he’s overstimulated. and it’s curved up a bit at the tip- which is a pretty shade of pink, by the way. cute, just like him.

y: yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

anytime, any place. he always wants you. he can keep it under control of course- he gets through every day just fine. but he’s always thinking about you, and even when it’s innocent, he yearns to be with you and make you feel good. his dick loves you almost as much as his heart does.

z: zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

for a guy who can’t sleep, fox gets pretty tired after, but he can stay up way longer than you can. usually, you need some aftercare, and you fall asleep shortly after, and he likes to stay awake to watch you sleep because your blush lasts and your skin is still hot. he loves to admire you for a while when you’re not watching. he also gets hungry after, so he usually stays up to eat something, and then he’ll crawl back into bed and pull your sleepy body in close.

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this actually put me through hell to write because i want him so bad it’s driving me insane. hope you enjoyed, you little freaks. gonna go think about that period kink now.

#Spotify #fox mulder #x files #spooky mulder #the x files #fox mulder x reader #fox mulder x you #soft fox mulder #fox mulder x reader fluff #fox mulder fluff #fox mulder smut #alphabet challenge

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sasster · 3 months

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Getaway

Don’t know how we got here, but! Here we are. If you see typos, no you didn’t. [Doc]

—

Dreams, for those who have them, are an unappreciated gift. Because the prophet does not possess the ability to conjure his own, ironic as that might be all things considered, he must stick to rooting in the minds of others so that he may steal theirs. This way he can, for a moment, drift off into a sweet fantasy and leave the headache of the waking world behind him. Heaven knows he has had no shortage of headaches recently; Mettling Roatuses, handsy fathers, and whiny bratty godlings included.

The process is a simple one, Cylion need only enter a sort of meditation, push away his own thoughts, and allow the constant vibrations of the unconscious minds that surround him to cross the threshold of his own consciousness. The ones he has made a visit to in the past buzz at a higher frequency in an attempt to lull him into the security of a familiar mind, when he chooses to reach beyond them, he finds the tentative hum of dreamers that have not had the pleasure of hosting him. In times of boredom, he would follow that thread as far as it went and test the outer limits of his dream hopping and mending.

Neither business nor boredom brought him here, though, so he lays in his bed and chews on the decision of where to go while his mind begins to flood with the hopes, aspirations, dread, and regret of the people around him. Mostly followers, he thinks, and the last thing he wants to waste his freetime on is Nymira’s following fawning over her.

He has had quite enough of fawning over Nymira these days. Ugh, the thought is nearly enough to throw his focus off altogether. Thankfully, he doesn’t get to dwell on that idea for too long before something interesting draws his attention. A mind that he visited in the past but has not seen in some time reveals itself to him.

In practicing to be the perfect prophet for the mutant dreamer, Cylion had become very good at picking out whose thoughts he would find himself swimming in. Magical to an observer, but to him it is as much a science as picking up color coded folders and knowing which one is math and which one is history. Only a moron could mistake the psyche of someone like Somnia for, say, Nymira.

Motivations change the flavor, experience influences the color.

The mind that reaches out to him vibrates at a frequency not dissimilar to his own fathers. A vile mind, steeped in the sort of cruelty that is somehow mindless let calculated at the same time. Such a mind that a more timid man might want to keep it miles away, but Cylion’s curiosity is only piqued; Minds do not just drop off of the grid once he has mingled with them, barring death, and they certainly do not crop back up out of nowhere either.

Something tells him he knows exactly who it belongs to even before he starts to dig into it.

“I wonder what the devil dreams of.” He muses to himself, which is the same as speaking out loud when in this state.

The rest of the vibrating bubbles of consciousness melt away in sync with the bed as he negotiates communication with the mind of his new subject, he has no intention of fabricating so he allows the scene to wash over him. The ceiling is replaced by the thick canopy of a forest, it brings along with it the smell of wet earth. Towering trees crowd his vision, save for a path that leads down to a clearing meant for a large building. Nearby running water completes the scene and it is all draped in a thick curtain of melancholy.

One man’s longing is another man’s relaxation, it seems.

Cylion finds his legs and sets off down the path towards the clearing, the satisfying crunch of leaves under his feet is more clear to him than anything he’d stumbled in on a whim before.

At the clearing he finds the purple blood, unmoving and staring wordlessly out in front of him. When the dreamer is certain that his visitor is within earshot, he speaks.

“He dreams of home.” Persep answers his question, turning to face him on the approach. “Or what is left of it.”

Not entirely surprised to see the man, but somehow put off by the sight of him without his face paint and stitches, as though he’d expected the man to dream himself in that state, Cylion raises both of his eyebrows. Then his lips quirk into a smile.

“Are you trying to get sympathy from me?” He comes to stand directly beside him. “That’s rich.”

“I am only answering your question. You’re visiting me, after all. What are you running from, Holy One?”

Cylion makes a face that causes Persep to flash him with a quick grin.

“Not so holy then? It’s rare that you imagine yourself without the flower these days. Isn’t it part of the holy look?”

The yellow blood sucks his teeth and rolls his eyes while Persep, ever the lucid dreamer, materializes a replica sunflower in his hand. Cylion digs the tip of his toes into the earth mindlessly.

“This divinity shit is so frustrating.”

“Imagine the real thing. It’s a bitch.”

“Hard pass.”

Persep lets out a bark of a laugh, turning the flower over in his hands. “Cowardice earns you nothing.”

“Courage burns your hive down?”

“Something like that. You didn’t answer my question.”

“Hm?”

“What are you running from that you’ve found your solace with the devil?” He asks again, humored.

Cylion heaves out a sigh and drops to sit with his legs crossed, staring at the space where the puppet master’s home used to live and admiring the detail of the fire singed grass.

“I don’t know. Everything?”

#coko writes sometimes #cylion #persep #long post

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twopoppies · 2 years

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Hi!! What are your personal favourite fics ever ? And could u do a list of your fav deleted fics? I think I really just need new fics to read Haha Xx

Oh, I love that question. Okay, I already have a list of Favorite Fics, but here are my fave deleted ones:

Into The Blue by Zarah5 (E, 117K) honestly, I love all of this author’s fics, but I think this is my favorite of theirs. Louis as a flirty scuba instructor? Newly single Harry who just wants a fling? Boys living on other sides of the world who only have a few weeks together? Heartbreak. Hot af smut. OT5 friendship. Please….give me all that shit.

Pull Me Under by zarah5 (E, 140K) One of the very first fics I read when I came into this fandom…and I’ve read it multiple times since. Zarah’s fics hold up every time. This one has it all, great pacing, ot5 friendship, banter, super sexy smut, etc etc. Plus, Louis being super jealous of Harry’s best friend.

to hell with romancing by bottomlinsons (E, 8K) This is worth reading for Harry’s internal monologue alone. This is just a funny fic that morphs into a sweet and really sexy one.

Dream Awake by protagonist_m (M, 31K) beautifully written, this one pulled me in and I got lost in the story so deeply. It’s one of those fics that really deserved a wider audience.

pretty in pink by hereforlou (E, 6K) I love this author’s writing and they give suck a realistic portrait of an established relationship in this one: Harry is whiny and needy. Louis is indulgent and loving. The whole thing is very sexy.

into joy i’m sailing by hereforlou (E, 5K) This fic is so tender and soft and sexy. The whole idea behind the fic was just something that felt very real and so fully realized.

This is cheating, but I honestly love so many of hereforlou’s fics, so here are all the ones I have.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA!

Good Enough to Eat by objectlesson (E, 7K) This author always does such a good job with depicting young, queer love and the way their characters experience the overwhelm of realizing they’re not straight, realizing the’ve met their Person, pining, and giving in. I love a lot of their fics, but I think this is my favorite of them. However, I highly recommend looking through all of them.

as he that sleeps here swims by Acavall (M, 23K) This was one of the very first fics I read in the fandom way back in 2013. It’s sweet and charming and a little melancholy (happy ending of course). Harry’s a ghost, there’s a little magic involved, and there’s a sweet 8K epilogue, as well.

In Vogue by otpforever (M, 121K) This one is just….so much. The intensity of the characters, the crazy hot smut (oh god, the window scene), the FASHION, the angst (I had to take a walk around the block after reading it), the epic love story between two men who could rule the world if they could just figure their shit out. Loved it.

like a boomerang by youwill (M, 48K) Very loosely based on the movie Groundhog’s Day (essentially just the concept of reliving a day over and over), this fic is delightful and charming and really worth a read.

Take Care Down By The Water by shyserious (M, 37K) Not quite mermaids, but oh my goodness I loved this fic. Magical realism, mythical creatures, dreamy/moody atmosphere, beautiful writing.

Where Your Heart Is by tvshow_addict (E, 154K) One of my all-time favorite fics and an absolute must read IMO. Chock full of hurt/comfort (both emotionally and physically), this fic is so moving and so beautiful and will take you on an emotional roller coaster ride from start to finish.

The Road Less Travelled by freetheankles E, 98K) Also known as “the lumberjack fic”, this fic is an instant classic. The author makes widowed Louis’ pain and depression so real and so moving. The characters are three-dimensional and complex and the well written sexual tension is finally relieved with super hot smut.

You Always Make Me Smile by champagneboyband (E, 60K, WIP) Yes, it’s a WIP. I’m listing it because the hope that someday it will be updated gives me the will to live. But also because even as a WIP this fic has everything I love. The characters are multi-faceted, the sexual chemistry is off the charts, the background story is complex enough to give the story numerous possibilities for angst and everything else. WHY MUST IT REMAIN A WIP???

something so precious about this by champagneboyband (E, 4K) this is just endearing and awkward and so well written. I love how much you get a sense of their connection and their inexperience and how much they care for each other in just a few thousand words.

I have lots more that I haven’t read, but of the ones I have, these are my faves. You can also check my DELETED FICS tag for more or search my blog for an author’s name. If someone has asked for their fics, it will be tagged.

#deleted fics #my favorite deleted fics #my fic rec #Larry fic rec

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makesometime · 8 months

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A little dialogue happens if you pass the insight check on Astarion (to see if he means the flattery or not) and I just love the idea of Tav knowing that Astarion is lying out of his ass and still flirts back, thinking it's just his thing.

(I have been avoiding a lot of Astarion’s scenes because I didn’t progress the romance past the first scene on my first playthrough so I’ve kept this more free-form. It's also... not entirely happy, but I hope you enjoy it regardless!)

(G/T rated - gn!Tav, flirting, references to sex but nothing too lascivious)

Walking through the wilderness with Astarion at their back makes them feel safer than by rights they should. With every new thing they see they look forward to getting back to camp, to hear his witticisms and return to their bedroll with his voice echoing through their mind.

Tonight is no different.

He’s filled their thoughts with such pretty words, lately, plying them with clever images and temptation. He looks at them like he knows quite how much it’s affecting them, and gods they don’t know how they feel about that.

When they make their way to stand in front of him once everyone else has gone to sleep, Astarion favours them with one of those precise looks.

“Good evening.” He says, dipping forward into a slight bow, his arms spread out in welcome. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Nothing more than other nights,” Tav says, crossing their arms. “You usually make it worth my while.”

He laughs, snatching up a bottle of wine from beside the mirror. When he turns back, they think they spot a flicker of something else in his expression, something he is a moment too slow to hide.

“I’ve been dreaming of you.” He says. “Do you know how devastating your presence is for my concentration?”

“Ah, that would make my heartbeat quicken if it weren’t for one simple fact - you don’t sleep.” They say, taking the bottle when he rolls his eyes and holds it out. They take a deep swig and offer it back, his quick hands snatching it up and taking his own slow drink.

His eyes never drift from theirs.

“And to think, this is the closest our lips have come to touching in a tenday.” He sighs, uses his tongue to catch up a stray droplet in a move so lascivious they wonder who such a move might have worked on in the past. “One day, perhaps, you might steal away with me again.”

“There’s nothing stopping you asking.” They murmur. “If you’re so keen to spend that much time with me. I certainly wouldn’t object.”

He doesn’t speak, for a moment. Long enough that they almost start to worry. It’s just fun, isn’t it? Their first time together was one of the only times they’d felt like themself since the Nautiloid, and he’d seemingly had just as lovely a time.

What if… no. They’re overthinking again. This is all just a game, a fun little diversion. Astarion likes to flirt and so do they.

“Perhaps when we’re free of the Underdark, darling.” He simpers. “There’s nothing quite like the open sky above our lovemaking, the feel of the moon shining down. Here is rather… cramped.”

It feels like a dismissal, but he’s wrapped it up in a metaphorical bow so pretty that they smile and nod.

“Truly, it would be a shame to miss out on seeing you in all your glory.”

Whatever hesitation, whatever concern, fades away behind a sweet little smile. Astarion coos, offering them the wine once more.

“Take it, darling. Retreat to your little tent and dream about how good I’ll make you feel when we next have the chance.”

They wrap their fingers around the neck of the bottle before he can entirely remove his, the coolness of his skin still a little unsettling beneath their own. With a smirk, he draws his hand away slowly, caressing the back of their fingers with a quick little flourish.

“Only if you’ll dream of me too.”

“Oh darling, you are forgetful.” Astarion chuckles, his red eyes flashing fiercely. “I don’t sleep.”

#astarion #astarion x tav #tav x astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #ask fic

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superbattrash · 1 year

Text

I finally saw the infamous 6th episode and let me tell you. WORTH IT

Sandy ep6

The entire reason I started watching this show, let’s gooooo

Oh if depression had a face

Niiiiice. I’m liking you better and better these days, sandy

Franklin noticed the hottie, that’s what

Oh my god he’s answering like a child would

Glaring at a child, nice

Oh my god are we finally seeing more of his actual feelings??

Powerful, maybe, but you’re also sad. You had a purpose. Oh sorry, “quest”, excuse my lacking language

Oh honey. You instantly put those walls back up, it’s so clear in the narrowing of the eyes and the “you asked” like you didn’t wanna share in the first place. Like you didn’t need to share. Well that’s awfully relatable 🥲

Oh she is tearing him a new one, nice going lady. I like her

Lord he is. Such a sulky brother.

Ohhh no. “Soon”, that can’t be good if this girlie is an endless

Oh she’s so sweet, I love her??? Sandy, you need to lighten up.

SHE MADE HIM SMIIIILE. or yaknow. Dream equivalent of smiling

Death. Of course she is. Of course Death is kind and nice.

OH WAIT I FORGOT. THEY WANTED HER, NOT HIM. oh noooo, do you have to tell her? Maybe she’ll feel bad :(

She. She knew. She KNEW???? Damn

Oh nooo, why do we have to see the awful unfair deaths 😭😭

Okay their banter is super cute, not gonna lie

Oh god no, is she taking the baby???? It hasn’t even lived yet :(

You exist for the humans? Huh. Alright. Makes sense

Aw man THAT soon?? Poor Franklin

There’s the smiling!!!! Oh. I thought you did good, Morph, next time will be better <3

LORD THAT HAIR

his “are you serious” face is so good

So THIS is Hob, okay

Oh he’s a little bet of theirs, that’s nice

YOU wanna talk to a human?? This will be interesting

The hair is growing on me, he looks softer somehow and IS THAT A REAL SMILE, nice

He really loves living, doesn’t he? And it’s the little things. Okay, I like him, Hob’s officially on the fav list

Oh no, this hair is worse

He’s got a family!!!! Awwww :’)

Will. Is- is that Shakespeare?? Ohhh, you’re so interested in this guy, just because he said something about dreams, huh? You little baby boy, aw, you found yourself a duckling

Is that jealousy I spot in your eyes Hobby?

Oh wow. That is uh. Some hair, sandy, very Lordly of you.

So this is a bad 100 year for you. Oh no, the family 🥺 That’s so depressing, you have such a hard life. Do you still want to live, baby?

Oh wow, that is crazy.

First sign of trouble is already here, love. That can’t be Death, can it?

Listen to him, Hob. Slaves, really? Yuck

You haven’t introduced yourself in 400 years?? Damn, morph, that’s kinda rude

What an eye roll 😂😂😂

“You look worse”, perfection I tell you

He doesn’t talk to assholes, lady. Oh WHAT. I forgot about Jo. That’s why I recognized her face.

Oh, Hob 👁️ I see you

The sand thing is creepy, babe, but it’s okay this time, you did good

Ohhhhh, is that flirting I hear, boys? And THAT IS WORRY, I SEE YOU, SANDY

….does he look good in this hat or am I just getting used to his face?

Oh god no, don’t make me feel so sorry for a person who won’t be here for long

Because you’re in love, right

Oh, sorry, that’s not the reason? Huh

Friendship. Well that’s a start

Oh COME ON. Stop glaring, he’s totally right, you idiot

WAIT NO THIS IS THE LAST TIME THEY SEE EACH OTHER BECAUSE HE GOT TRAPPED NOOOOOO FUCK THAT IS SAD

oh poor Hob, you think he got angry and didn’t wanna be boyfriends anymore :(

Don’t blame yourself, baby, you were right!! Oh you poor man :/

WHAT!!! NO!!!! BUY THE PLACE, BUY IT!!!!

Oh no. Oh noooo, it’s not even a place anymore :( please tell me he’s there, please please please

Oh that smile 🥺🥺🥺

HE CALLED HIM A FRIEND OH MY GOD AM I CRYING?????? and a REAL SMILE TOO, KILL ME

oh they’re desire?? WAIT THEY’RE THE BAD GUY??? Damn son

10/10, would watch 7 seasons of this episode alone

#mish watches sandman #holy shit #okay I see where we’re all coming from ok #I see you

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pretendfan · 11 days

Text

{ Liquid Dreams }

(This is my first Workaholics fic, if anyone reads this I will be so happy, because the story is ridiculous and their fandom isn’t on here, helloooooo anyone, but I love these dudes so much, rewatching the show has landed me here so enjoy…this is also posted on AO3)

Gen:

Anders Holmvik/Blake Henderson/Adam DeMamp

Story:

(What happens when you add dem boyz and a pile of old Cosmopolitan magazines?)

(This story answers that question and more…)

♥️5K♥️

WARNINGS 18 PLUS : mentions of cranking it, drug use, drinking alcohol, let’s talk about sex, bro humour, swearing aplenty, very much like an episode of the show, the dudes learn somethings, Adam is misogynistic, Blake is a babe, Anders is such a dad…

“I can’t help you there dude you are just gonna have to decide for yourself.” Adam DeMamp explains with a shrug as he roller blades confidently in the street, next to his best bud who was biting his bottom lip deep in thought.

“Yeah but what if the pills actually work and they make my hog bigger?” Blake Henderson questions whilst performing a quick spin, as if to prove his point that the subscription was a really fucking good idea.

“It definitely wouldn’t be able to fit in those pants of yours, because why are they so tight you need to really give your balls some breathing room!” Adam declares loudly skating ahead whilst holding his arms high above his head.

“My boxers are loose enough but that isn’t the question, what I’m asking-“

“Is if pills to enlarge your dick will work or better yet you can just get a pump and we can share it!” Adam stops suddenly and Blake almost crashes into him, but breaks just in time for the battered cart that he was pulling along, to bash pretty hard against his leg.

“I love you dude truly, but neither you or Anders would ever use my dick pump if I bought one-“

“That’s just selfish-“

“Dude, where the hell is this garden stuff you saw that was free to take?” Blake cuts off Adam before he starts to whine, because soon the tantrums would begin and it was too early for any of that bullshit.

“Just along here bro calm down-“

“I haven’t had my red bull yet dude so I’m still tired.” Blake groans at the same time that he notices Adam pulling an uninterested face in return.

“Oh, I’m sorry that I rushed into your room and excitedly told you all about the incredible treasures that I had found!” Adam retorts whilst throwing his hands back up in the air in exasperation.

“No, you just jumped on my bed Adam and punched me until I woke up, also interrupting my pretty sweet dream-“

“We can’t all dream like you Blake, are we not men of action?” Adam cuts off his friend with a confident smirk.

“My dream was very important actually involving Nickelodeon slime, the bright green kind and one of my favourites Lacey Jams.” Blake informs Adam who of course isn’t listening as he sets off again on his blades.

“Cool story bro.” Adam chants as they both avoid a passing car, the driver rewarding them with a weird look but neither of them cared.

“We are allowed to blade on the street sir!” Blake announces waving at the guy who just continues to drive ahead, whilst Adam flips him the bird.

“Stupid drivers-“ Begins Adam but then he suddenly points ahead and shouts “There’s the treasure!”

Blake follows his roommate and stops in front of a house which was of course way tidier than theirs, with tall dark green bushes out front that framed the house, completed perfectly by the pile of old crap sitting next to the curb.

“Dude, this is junk-“

“Yeah, but it’s all ours Blake!” Adam cheers cutting off his curly haired friend, who gives him a disbelieving look right back.

“How are we getting all this back to the house? Shouldn’t we have asked Ders to help us.” Blake questions still not fully awake because he was tired and of course horny, but Adam had ruined his chances of waking up in a good mood.

“Blake, that’s why you’ve got that cart dude are you even on board with this-“

“I don’t even know what day it is.” Blake mutters whilst brushing his mess of hair back with both hands.

“Come on, let’s go! It will only take a couple of trips and look haven’t you seen the inflatables?” Adam questions with a faux shocked voice.

“I bet they are all busted-“

“Dude, stop being a buzz kill” snaps Adam literally stamping one of his feet, which almost causes him to fall flat on his ass but Blake grabs his arm to save him.

“I just wanted a few more minutes alone in bed-“

“To jerk it? Is this all because you haven’t had any hand fun yet, come on Blake I’ve done it three times already.” Jokes Adam with loud laugh.

“How the hell could I when you fucking woke me up?” Blake questions beyond frustrated right now as he asks “Can we just get this done because Ders is gonna start wondering where the hell we are.”

“Just promise me that as soon as we’re finished you go take a shower and treat yourself, use some of Anders lotion in the bathroom.” Adam smiles happily at Blake who grins back equally amused.

“You mean the green bottle-“

“Yeah, do you use it as well then?” Adam asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Dude, I’ve had to replace it-“

“No shit!” Laughs Adam as he bends down to pick up a deflated palm tree, complete with muddy grime on it, but throwing it in their pool would clean it up of course.

“Let’s not tell Ders about that though-“

“Of course not, bro code or some shit.” Adam cuts off Blake with a firm nod adding “Now grab some damn stuff and let’s go!”

“It is a really nice lotion though.” Chuckles back Blake as he picks up a patio umbrella, with a large palm tree design on it clearly these people liked a theme.

In the end it takes the pair over two hours to get all the stuff, with Ders saying he wouldn’t help them he was clearly too busy and the pair of course needing a blunt break, because Blake had been verging on battering Adam with one of the garden chairs they had taken.

Finally with all the treasures out the back as Adam called them, Blake however just saw it as junk but a beat up plastic grey box held a degree of interest, yet right now all he really cared about was finally taking a shower.

It had actually been fun to skate back and forth, well once the weed had kicked in he felt better for a while, until Adam had started talking about a pool party that they should totally have next weekend.

Which sounded dope but from previous experience it was always a sausage fest, and all Blake wanted to see were chicks in bikini’s for once, the thought makes a warm heat spread across his stomach.

Noticing Adam saluting him with a beer from the kitchen Blake nods with a cheeky smirk, as he heads into the bathroom whilst trying to decide, what scenario to use in his head first because he was a guy who liked a storyline after all.

“Don’t be too long in there!” Anders states when he hears the bathroom door lock, glancing back at Adam who has a funny look on his face.

“Give the dude a break he hasn’t cranked it yet today-“

“But hadn’t we all agreed that the shower was off limits?” Cuts in Anders in a warning tone.

“Sure, but you can’t tell me that you don’t pay extra special attention to your little guy in the shower!” Adam retorts with a snort like an amused warthog.

“Of course I fucking do that’s why my favourite lotion is in there-“

“Is that the one in the green bottle?” Adam asks innocently but fails as a grin spreads across his face.

“Please tell me you don’t-“

“I bet Blake is using it right now.” Adam cuts off Ders whilst grabbing another beer from the fridge beside him.

“Is nothing sacred in this house?” Snaps Anders who walks out of the kitchen angrily.

“I also use your laptop Ders.” Adam mutters to himself with a chuckle, because they didn’t hide anything here, and his tall roommate had all the important passwords.

It is late afternoon when the guys regroup again with Adam having set up the junk out in the yard, the lawn chairs and umbrella out alongside various inflatables which included a pizza and pink dolphin, all of which were half blown up in the pool.

“How romantic.” Anders deadpans as he steps out into the yard, noticing the dented metal table and blue plastic kid’s pool, which Adam had half filled with snacks.

“I like to wine and dine, before I sixty nine dude you know this.” Adam chirps happily as he sits down at the edge of the pool, shirtless of course dipping his toes into the warm water.

“When ever have you-“

“Ugh I feel so much better after that nap, because I was definitely sleepy after my shower!” Blake announces cutting off whatever Ders had been saying with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, let’s hope I have some fucking body lotion left-“

“Adam, you told on me?” Blake questions whilst trying to not look caught out when clearly he already was.

“Wait a sec-“

“Neither of you can ever go near my lotion again.” Anders states with a stern look as his eyes scan, from stupid Adam to Blake who was pulling a ridiculous face.

“Now that’s all cleared up, permission to join the party now dudes?” Blake asks with a smile as Adam holds a thumb up, and Ders mutters something about going to grab some beers.

“Permission granted, now let’s play a few slam dunks over the pool before the pizza gets here!” Adam demands whilst spinning round to get out of the pool, only to slip and fall back in sideways which makes Blake laugh loudly.

“Zero points for that dismount dude!” Blake yells at the same time that Adam raises his head above water spluttering all the while.

“All part of my plan, because if there were any chicks here right now they would all jump in and rescue me.” Adam shouts and coughs as he doggy paddles to the edge of the pool.

“Sure buddy-“

“Ready for some beers dudes?” Cuts in Anders reappearing with a large red cooler, placing it down on top of the plastic grey box, beside the palm tree umbrella.

Before anyone can reply there is a crash and the box breaks, causing the cooler to tip but Anders grabs it before the contents is spilled, although he wasn’t really looking because something else had suddenly caught his eye.

“What broke-“

“Guys, we’ve hit jackpot!” Anders announces cutting off Blake as he bends down to pick up a magazine, turning it round to show the guys who glance at one another awkwardly.

“Want some fashion tips Ders?” Adam questions with a scoff as his friend sighs, whilst Ders continues to wave the copy of Cosmopolitan excitedly in his hand.

“No wait, don’t they have like these sex quizzes in those things?” Blake asks out loud causing Adam to slow clap and Anders to flip the magazine open.

“Ten ways to impress your man-“

“Erm, I’m not into that dude.” Adam shakes his head firmly noticing the look on Blake’s face.

“But we can learn what women would do to us, if we ever met any and managed to actually bring them back here.” Blake states sarcastically the thought bumming him out momentarily.

“This could help us then!” Anders demands closing the magazine gently, like he didn’t want to leave sticky finger prints on any of the pages.

“Yeah to jerk off later to-“

“That’s a given, but for now we could learn something from these shiny magazines.” Anders states looking down to see more in the broken box, alongside an empty bottle of wine, also a photocopied picture of what looked like bridesmaids.

“Well I get first dibs because it’s my treasure after all!” Adam informs them both with an ached eyebrow and a challenging look on his face.

“Dude I helped you.” Blake reminds him lamely.

“Stop guys! Let’s just sit here and start looking there seems to be a whole bunch of them, and a picture of some random bridesmaids.” Anders nods with an excited smile on his face.

“I call dibs on the bridesmaids!” Blake raises a hand excitedly whilst Adam rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but for now let’s crack open a few beers and take a couple of quizzes.” Ders smirks as he takes a seat, on one of the old lawn chairs, praying silently that it won’t break on him.

“We are definitely not telling anyone about this-“

“Of course not dude, now shut up and sit down!” Blake informs Adam as they sit down on a chair and the cooler separately, grabbing a magazine each from the messy pile on the floor.

Silence fills the backyard as the guys look at their magazines, each with their own mixed thoughts until eventually the door bell rings, and finally Blake looks away in time to catch the pizza dude.

Hurrying back in Blake dumps the pizza on top of the cooler, taking a seat on the floor instead as he watches Ders lift up the box lid and they all dive in, still silent neither of them glancing at one another just lost in the pages under their noses.

“Oh there are so many hot women in these magazines-“

“Fully clothes sadly.” Adam cuts off Blake as dusk starts settling in, and he quickly looking up to pour out some beer in honour of his loss.

“Yeah, but check out some of the sex pages they have a lot of toys.” Anders nods with a smirk, glancing at his friends who chuckle back like awkward teenagers.

“My flesh-light is way better than any rabbit toy!” Adam announces as he reads something and then asks “Hey, where is the clitoris?”

“It’s not anywhere near the butthole, that’s all I know!” Jokes Blake with a soft giggle, brushing some mangled hair behind one of his ears.

“It’s at the top-“

“Dude I know that I was just joking!” Laughs Blake whilst wiping an imaginary tear from his right eye.

“Are you sure-“

“Dammit I know ok!” Blake snaps causing Adam to hit him on the head with a rolled up magazine.

“You need to get laid.” Jokes Anders whilst Adam cheers and nods in agreement.

“Yeah well, so do you two!” Blake chokes back with a dark look on his face, as he chugs down the rest of his beer.

“No offence but you could sure use some help closing Blake, so maybe there is something in one of these damn cosmos.” Adam states with a fake smile attached to his lame sentiment.

“Again, take your own advice dude.” Blake retorts whilst poking his tongue out at his friend.

“Now guys-“

“I’m going to kill you!” Screams Adam cutting off whatever Ders was about to say, as he proceeds to dramatically launch himself at Blake who was already on the floor.

“Dude, get off me!” Blake yells whilst trying to push Adam off him, as the pair roll around freakishly close to the pool fighting like idiots.

“I’m not getting involved.” Anders informs them diplomatically.

Seconds later Blake pushes Adam into the pool, but he manages to grab onto Blake’s tee shirt and they both fall in together, a warm breeze moving the page that Ders was reading as he tries to ignore the chaos.

“I’m pissed now!” Blake declares getting out of the pool, taking off his tee shirt which makes Anders look up and Adam scoff as he splashes around in the water.

“Dude put your tee shirt back on.” Adam sighes with a shake of his head.

“Jealous Adam are we?” Blake smirks as he holds his arms up high above his head, a move that he knew showed off his sleek frame and muscles.

“Of you?” Questions Adam with a hysterical laugh like he had just understood the world’s funniest punchline.

“You’ve even got those damn Usher lines Blake!” Ders cries out loudly pointing a finger at him almost accusingly.

“And with that I’m heading to the roof-“

“Come back here and fight!” Adam shouts splashing water again as Ders dives to save the magazines.

“Let him cool off, you just need to stop attacking the dude.” Anders tells Adam in a serious voice, which makes him think he sounds like his dad causing Ders to shudder.

“He started it-“

“Dude enough, now tell me about this pool party idea, and then I will show you the swimsuit issue!” Anders cheers causing Adam to rush out of the pool excitedly.

“Holding out as always Ders?” Adam asks with a pointed look.

“Dude you have to see it!” Anders smirks smugly because he would definitely be taking the magazine to his room later.

Blake meanwhile is drying off with one of the towels on the roof, hopefully it was Adam’s one but they borrow a lot of each other’s stuff, so it was hard to determine who owned what nowadays.

Tying the hair band from his wrist Blake puts his wet hair into a low ponytail, just so it’s out of his face as he closes his eyes, and tries to listen to what his roommates were talking about.

Blake was self conscious about a lot of things especially seeing how good looking his bros were, sure he gave back as good as he got some days, but right now he felt annoyed mostly at himself and the fact that he wanted another beer.

Also a hit on his bong that was currently sat untouched downstairs wouldn’t hurt either, but he was up here now on the roof and wanted to prove a point, unsure what exactly but Blake was hella pissed that his friends kept taking shots at him.

“We should go and see him.” Anders looks up on the roof a while later, to see that Blake was still up there, he was surprised the dude hadn’t gone to his room to sulk.

“Blake’s fine-“

“I think that we need to help him meet someone.” Anders cuts off Adam stating the truth because Blake was pretty inexperienced, but it wasn’t as if him or Adam were rocking high numbers either.

“Dude needs a makeover!” Adam cries waving a page at Ders from his magazine.

“You need to reign it in-“

“No hear me out, we tidy up the dudes hair and face moustache, then perhaps add some clear mascara bring out the blue in his eyes.” Adam states eyes firmly on the page he was reading from, not noticing the look that Ders was giving him right now.

“Blake’s just shy-“

“Crazy awkward around chicks!” Adam bellows with a laugh which makes Anders throw his magazine at him.

“I can hear you dudes.” Blake shouts down in a deep voice, wishing himself that he had just gone back to his bedroom and crashed out instead.

Anders grabs the cooler whilst Adam silently picks up some of the Cosmos , and they both make their way up to the roof quickly, it was time for a dude summit to talk some real shit.

Blake watches as they both struggle to get up to the roof, he could offer to help with the cooler but instead he stays put in his seat, until his conscious gets the better of him and he silently snatches said item from Ders hand.

“Thanks dude.” Anders says with a nod as he sits down on a lawn chair with a sigh.

“Here.” Adam opens the cooler and pulls out a fresh beer, handing it over to Blake who silently accepts the peace offering.

“Sorry we went too far this time and-“

“You’ve done a lot worse before than this.” Blake cuts off Ders with a closed off look but not without adding “I guess we all can push each other to the limits sometimes.”

“Yeah like that time you cut the brake wires on Ders car -“

“That was you?!” Anders snaps at Blake who tries and fails to look innocent.

“That was back when I was heavily watching the timeless movie that is “Speed” all the time.” Blake shrugs with a smile.

“Yeah but isn’t that movie about a bomb on a bus and they can’t go over a certain speed limit?” Adam asks with a confused look on his face.

“Well yeah but I had tried to place a fake bomb on the Vo’ but just ended up accidentally cutting the stupid wire.” Blake tells Adam whilst avoiding the daggers that were coming from Ders eyes.

“You need to grow up-“

“Dude you were playing along too it was the time we had taken the last of the Adderall, and you were the Dennis Hopper character!” Blake reminds Adam with an arched eyebrow and a smirk.

“Pop quiz, hot shot.” Adam quotes in a voice sounding similar to the aforementioned actor.

“I think you owe me some money dude because I had to take the car to the garage-“

“I can’t afford anything.” Blake cuts off Ders hurriedly.

“I was joking, but don’t ever mess with my damn car again!” Anders laughs but there is still a warning tone in his voice.

“We all mess with one another, that’s what bros do but me and Ders have decided that what we should do now is help you!” Adam shouts excitedly, wobbling in his seat a little but he steadies himself quickly.

“Help me, with what?” Blake asks cautiously because both his dudes were giving him a manic look.

“Meet a real-life chick and close-“

“Oh, like you both have extensive knowledge on this!” Cuts off Blake making a noise in his throat to prove a point.

“Well these magazines might help-“

“I think that you both need to be cut off dudes .” Blake begins with a wide eyed look that disappears as he says quietly “What could those things possibly say that would help me?”

“Let’s take a look!” Ders announces sensing the dip in the mood as he picks up a magazine and flips it open hurriedly.

“Another beer-“

“Here, listen to this!” Anders cuts off Adam as he hold up a page and reads out loud “ What women really want, and it’s not what you think.”

“First of all guys are more intelligent than girls that is a fact!” Adam shouts loudly and then takes it home by saying “ Girls lie they say that they will call you and then you’re speaking to a pizza place.”

“I’m sorry that happened-“

“Ain’t no thang!” Adam cuts off Ders as he then elaborates “ I met another chick that night at said pizza place and we made out in her car.”

“Nice dude.” Blake nods with a grin at his best friend.

“See Blake, that’s your problem right there-“

“I thought we were being nice to one another again?” Begins Blake cutting off Anders as he quips that “Those magazines are making you bitchy as hell man.”

“Blake, you need to grow a pair dude!” Adam chimes in which makes Ders clap in agreement.

“I told you guys that I was a late bloomer-“

“No, not that! What I mean is set your sights on someone and go for it dude.” Ders states in a sage voice, the kind that usually works in a chaotic moment.

“Did you learn that from the glossy you’re holding? Because that’s bad advice dude.” Adam tuts at Anders who rolls his eyes right back.

“So what advice do you have then?” Blake asks Adam finishing his beer and burping loudly as he chucks the empty can behind him.

“It’s so easy.” Adam begins eyes flitting between his two friends as he wriggle his eyebrows and says “ Two words, pool party.”

“Well that’s four words-“

“Stop being a nerd!” Adam snaps at Blake who looks down at the magazines and grudgingly picks one up.

“Nerds are soon to be the next big thing, so stop being a loser Adam.” Blake retorts eyes glancing the pages, until he stops at the swim suit section.

“Enjoy dude.” Winks Anders pulling an excited face.

From here on out the night rides on with Blake studying the swimsuits his bong resting between this feet, Adam asking Anders questions about an anal sex quiz, and the leftover beers growing warm because the cooler lid had been left open.

Anders cannot believe how much he is learning right now, sure the porn he watches religiously keeps him in the know, but these pages offered a fresh perspective and it was making his denim pants tighten as a result.

Meanwhile Adam is wondering to himself if he could wear more pink would it suit his hair colour, or maybe purple could help illuminate his brown eyes bring out the colour of his lips, fuck now he was debating whether he could pull off shorts.

Glancing up at his two friends, who were far to immersed in their own reading material to notice, Blake rolls his eyes because tonight has been weird with a capital W and normally he rolled for times like this.

But things had gotten personal and unless he mentions the idea of a girlfriend out loud, he hated being frogmarched into a conversation about his inability to date, because news flash he knew first hand but times might soon be a changing.

Not sure how out yet but Blake needed to be more confident, maybe he could fake it and show the world that he meant business, all he wanted was to finally lose is cherry because he had been dumped many times before he even had a chance.

“Hey guys, do you think I have an apple or an hourglass figure?” Adam questions breaking into the silence with serious question in real time.

Anders literally drops the magazine from his hands, whilst Blake shapes his fingers into a rectangle frame placing them up to his face, so he can check out Adam who is obviously waiting for an answer.

“What is happening right now?” Anders questions with a confused look on his face.

“I was just asking a question-“

“Well those shapes are referring to women’s bodies and not dudes, so I think it’s time that we should step away from these things.” Anders states cutting off Adam as he knocks the magazine from his hands.

“Yet we still have some many unanswered questions Ders.” Blake replies sarcastically which makes Adam nod in the affirmative.

“You two are beyond help-“

“And you need to lighten up dude!” Adam talks over Anders with a grin, as the guys make the awkward descent from the roof.

“Someone has to be a grown up.” Ders retorts in a tired tone.

“Sucks to be you bro!” Blake chants until he almost slips down the last bit of trellis, grabbing onto Adam’s shoulders so he didn’t croak it.

“I disagree-“

“Just know that I’m doing fine bro.” Blake announces almost believing it himself, as he not so subtly picks up a magazine from the floor near the pool.

“We all are dude, but just that know my stock is the highest!” Adam states firmly almost standing on Blake’s foot, as he dips down to also grab some reading material for his bedtime

“Have you hit your head again?” Ders asks Adam in a shocked voice as he explains “ I feel like I’m the top gun round here.”

“He’s a real life Tom Cruise over there!” Blake announces in a loud voice.

“Clearly he’s too tall to be Cruise-“

“We all know that I’m Bradley Cooper.” Anders cuts off Adam whilst closing the palm tree umbrella, at the same time locating the magazine he needed to help him sleep.

“Yeah if you’re in the dark perhaps.” Adam retorts which makes Blake splutter out a laugh, and Ders glare at them both as they all make their way finally back inside the house.

“Well this has all been a blast but I’m off to bed now.” Blake announces with a fake yawn despite it being earlier than usual, he tucks aforementioned magazine under his arm with an awkward smile plastered across his face.

“Yeah it’s been such a long day.” Nods Anders picking up his tie from the messy coffee table, wrapping it around his book with a nod.

“Time to go crank it hard dudes.” Adam declares with an overzealous wink, leaning past Blake to grab the box of tissues from the small diner table by the wall.

“There is this new oil that I have been meaning to try.” Anders smirks back at Adam who nods happily.

“Man, you ought to come see my set up someday I’ve got lube for days bro!” Adam states with a chuckle glancing at Blake who looks visibly embarrassed.

“Don’t be shy dude!” Adam nudges Blake hard with his hip as he explains “We all do it bro, and I’ve definitely heard you.”

“Yeah well you’re not exactly quiet either Adam.” Blake retorts with a smile stating “ I like to wear my headphones and set the scene, add some candles and never ever rush.”

“Sounds really romantic Blake.” Anders rolls his eyes at Adam with an unattractive snort.

“They don’t call me a ladies man for nothing-“

“That’s because they don’t dude.” Adam cuts off Blake as he pats him hard on the back adding “You need to be more like me, all the DeMamp men are very sexual.”

“I guess you’re the odd one out then right Adam?” Anders cracks making Blake laugh loudly whilst brushing some curly hair from his face.

“I rocked the world of those four and half girls at college, I bet I’m all they still think about.” Adam retorts in a sulky voice which makes Blake pat his friend on the shoulder.

“Half a girl-“

“Don’t ask!” Cuts in Blake raising both of his hands in front of Anders face, whilst Adam shrugs and mutters something that no one can make out.

“On that note then, I’m off to bed.” Anders nods as he starts to walk to his room.

“Don’t start crying again dude like you did last time!” Adam laughs loudly as he follows suit to his room, almost dropping his box of tissues in the process.

“That was only because you put on Matchbox twenty!” Anders retorts making Blake shake his head with a playful chuckle.

“Need I remind you that the song “Push” is fucking classic!” Blake states placing a hand on one of his hips at the same time.

“Thats true.” Begins Anders who then reminds his friend “But please don’t go burning the house down with your candles dude.”

“Not after last time-“

“Dude, what did you do?!” Cuts in Anders ignoring the look on Blake’s face as he gets to his bedroom door.

The three of the stop outside together smiles and nods aplenty, as they bring the night to an early close.

“Good humping boys!” Blake states with a cheeky smirk.

“Night guys.” Anders nods with a crinkle in his eyes.

“If you hear me screaming, don’t come a knocking!” Adam declares hopping up in the air to hit the top of the door frame with a flourish.

With that three doors simultaneously open and close, whilst one is locked and another changes their mind leaving it ajar, then moments later the opening chords to an O - Town song begins to play through the last door.

LETS GET WEIRD…

#workaholics #workaholics tv #blake henderson #anders holmvik #whx #adam demamp #let’s get weird #fan fics #gotta be fresh #this story is ridiculous #where is the fandom

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reality-maybe · 2 years

Text

Hey real quick, imagine your f/o waking you up with kisses and cuddles.

They knew you needed to wake up but didn’t want disturb you so they did it in the softest way they could think of

They lay on the bed facing you as you’re still sleeping. It starts out with them brushing any stray hairs you may have out of your face while also caressing your cheekbones with their thumb

They scoot closer towards your body and drape an arm over you, warm fingers traveling their way up to the nape of your neck, attempting to stimulate you

They lean in and first press a feather light kiss to your forehead and pause to see if that does anything. If that doesn’t make you stir, they lean back in, ghosting small kisses over you eyelids, nose, and cheekbones.

their warm hand traveled down your sleeping form until they’re absentmindedly drawing gentle patterns into the exposed areas of your hips and sides where your sleepwear had ridden up ever so slightly

You’d be dreaming about whatever when You’re roused by a distant yet familiar feel of something coaxing out of your restful state as it repeatedly but gently pressed into what feels like your forehead, cheeks, and jaw

The intrusion wasn’t an unwelcome one though. You inhale deeply and subconsciously move towards the source of those tender touches. You had yet to see what was giving you such attention, but you had an inking as to what or who it was. Regardless, the feeling made you feel warm and safe.

They were busy peppering tiny kisses against your jawline when they hear you stir and feel your rousing body shift. They dip their head into the crook of your neck just for a second, inhaling your scent, savoring the moment of sweet comfort, and smile softly against your neck as you begin to wake

you open your eyes with effort, making what your partner would later call a cute little startup noise, and immediately your vision filled with the familiar prominence of what you make out to be a nose in front of eyes rivaling the most precious gemstones. You’re still only half aware of what’s going on, but you could recognize those eyes anywhere.

Your full body reflexively stretches while your still in their arms, and they take the opportunity to wind their secure arms around you and shift against you, pulling you closer to their body, now fully snuggled up against them

Your brain cleared of the sleepy fog enough to press back against them and smile lazily. You shift again slightly and rest your head against their neck and collarbone, before leaning up to nuzzle your nose against their jaw affectionately, finishing off the sweet action with a kiss to their chin

you manage to rasp out a “good morning”voice more grainy than you’d like it to be, an indicator that you really were in a deep sleep

Your heart fluttered as they chuckled and hugged you just a little tighter for a moment, endeared by your sleepy state. They say it back to you, voice laced with fondness, raising an arm to cup your cheek and stroke your hair.

They lean over you to kiss you softly, lips moulding against theirs perfectly, and you feel them draw you in even closer, as if even the smallest space between you both could drive a fissure between you. But all you felt in the kiss was a glowing love for your f/o and hummed into the kiss, bliss overtaking you

You arch your neck a little as they card their fingers through your hair and against your scalp in a gentle massage. The action felt so nice that you could’ve closed your eyes and fallen right back asleep. But your f/o is here, why conjure a dream in sleep when your dream was right in front of you, embracing you, loving you

You both stay like that for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s company and companionship, absentmindedly leaving sweet touches and kisses on each other, warmth radiating in their wake. If you both didn’t get up soon, you’d both be put behind schedule, but there was nothing too pressing to do that day. Sometimes, mornings like these were all you both needed.

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jungkxook · 4 years

Text

—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad.

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?”

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.��

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly.

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you.

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

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necros-writing-stuff · 3 years

Note

Oooo, can you imagine multiple alphas are after an omega PC? It's going to be chaos. They probably be waiting for when PC's heat struck to claim them. But, who will get PC first? Are they beyond kidnapping PC to make sure PC is theirs? *whisper* can u include all the alpha LIs?

Ooo boy this is just the game on hard mode 100% allure.

Decided not to include Black Wolf and Great Hawk - just couldn't think of how they would be different than usual.

NSFW below (tw for kidnapping, noncon)

Alex

The moment you arrive on that farm Alex wants you claimed.

That sweet omega scent calls out to them and they know they have to give you the job.

Still acts kind, still tries to butter you up so you'll like them more.

Uses helping you with more strenuous work as an excuse to rub the scent over you.

But if you come to work one day smelling like another alpha? Alex isn't going to be happy.

Might start a wresting match, just some 'innocent' rough play, so they can rub themselves all over you again.

Offers to let you stay at the cottage from that point on. You're turning a profit now! No need to worry about school or work or whatever it is in that town that keeps you going back!

If you accept then all is well. Alex can move you in and start claiming you fully.

If not, you might have to watch your drinks. Alex has plenty of drugs that can kick you into your heat, have you begging to be taken one way or another.

You'll be their woman/man eventually. Patience pays off, that's one thing Alex has learned with being a farmer. The more love and care you put into a new crop or animal, the better the results. Mating you won't be any different.

Wants to spend heats with you. Wants to breed you, work on the farm while you rest, then come back inside the nest and breed you more.

Very warm, comforting scent. Reminds you of summer afternoons, with a picnic.

Avery

You have to be marked by them if you're in an arrangement.

Initially takes you on because they're sick of being asked when they're getting mated, when they're settling down and having kids, aren't you sick of working so hard?

You're the perfect little distraction. With you around, their peers stop being so invasive.

You have to behave in a certain manner though, you have to behave as Avery's true omega. Its what they pay you for.

So who is this alpha you're walking home with? All bright eyes and laughter?

Avery drags you into their car, sight going red when that alpha hugs you. People are watching, they don't care, not in this moment.

Locks the doors and drives into an alleyway, not listening to your distressed cries.

Pins you down in the backseat and marks you while they fuck you silly. What kind of a slut are you that you just let alphas touch you so casually?

No amount of apologies are going to stop them taking you. What about Avery's reputation, you ungrateful whore? Have you forgotten your place?

If Avery needs to take you home and chain you up to be a house-spouse they will. Its very unlikely, they're more obliged to cut you off and blacklist you, but its possible.

Okay with you spending heats alone, due to their busy schedule.

Scent is complimented by expensive aftershaves/perfumes in a way that let's everyone know exactly what Avery's social standing is. It commands respect.

Eden

You're not getting off the leash. It's far too risky, you'll just have to follow Eden around forever now.

Knows when you've been touching others, spanks you for it and then ruins you till you forget anyone else exists.

Doesn't matter who it is or what context.

Has proven they're perfectly okay with hunting you down wherever you run off to and dragging you back.

People are terrified of Eden, no matter how much you struggle to get away from their grip, the most you'll get is someone yelling out to leave you alone.

Pretty much only death is going to stop Eden claiming you.

Very okay with hurting any rivals. If Eden comes into town to find you with a schoolmate, Avery, or if they treck out into the farmlands and find you with Alex, Eden could get trigger happy.

Drags you back home after, noone gets to see you vulnerable apart from Eden.

No more school. No more worrying about your orphan friend, no more money or debt. Just stay at home. Where you belong.

Never ever let's your bites fade. They're always red raw and fresh. Eden will take time to rub salve into the wound to calm it, but they'll never relent when it comes to marking. Even if it's just you two out here.

No walks by yourself in the woods. Those wolves find you too tasty, what if they take you away?

Natural and overpowering scent. A little sweaty by midday, but after a bath it's very earthy and fresh. Has plenty of blockers on hand to use when hunting. You're not allowed them.

Kylar

The school trio is where shit gets messy as all hell- because they're the ones most likely to run into each other vying for your attention.

Kylar will protect you from afar, with their blow darts.

Constantly appearing out of nowhere and dragging you away from Robin or Whitney. Even if you just walk past one of the others in the hallways at school Kylar knows and will cling to you so desperately.

That line in the park where they tell you they know if you've been thinking of others? Yeah well it has more weight to it now than ever.

Gives you their clothes to wear, if they'll fit. If not, then they take every chance to break into your room and put their scent everywhere - especially your pillow so it can cover you in your sleep. Maybe you'll dream of them, like they dream of you.

More likely to pull knives when you're close to your heat, also more likely to come at Whitney rather than letting you drag them away from a fight.

And when I say go at Whitney, I mean jumping on their back and fighting like a feral animal.

Panics if they pick up a scent that isn't Robin or Whitney. What do you mean there's even more people to worry about? Where have you been sneaking off to without them knowing? Is that where you're spending your heats?

Speaking if heats, will go hysterical if you spend it alone, never mind with others. You're meant to spend it with Kylar, you're meant to let them breed you.

The most prepared to whisk you away at a moments notice once their jealousy hits its peak.

Going to breed you as soon as you're tied up in their basement, going to mate you and mark you up.

Has a sharp scent. Can be a little stale at times, but its not unpleasant. A little citrus-y.

Robin

A lower confidence Robin might let someone else take you, thinking they don't deserve to be your alpha - maybe there's others out there who can take care of you.

Sits rather dejected at lunch when Kylar barges into your conversation to kiss you in front of them.

Looks away when Whitney cops a feel against the lockers.

A high confidence Robin is more likely to say something about it, but they still respect your autonomy.

It's your choice at the end of the day, Robin just hopes you choose them.

Not gonna kidnap or noncon you over it. Prefers that you willingly give yourself- it means more to them, proves how real it is that you crawl into their lap rather than being pulled into Whitney's.

Very gentle during heats. Will try to hold off cumming until you do, to make sure you're taken care of and not in pain. Might stand guard for you if you decide to go it alone, but is scared they'll give into temptation and barge your door down.

Will scent you when you ask. Its a very soothing, clean scent. Not too overpowering or demanding, not too subtle. Just nice.

Whitney

Oh no.

You thought you'd suffered humiliation before? Well now there's competition you'll see something fierce.

Constantly marking you. Constantly scenting, cumming on your face and rubbing the liquids in so you'll be very obviously claimed for all to see.

Will grab you in the middle of a conversation just to make out with you in front of your friend - especially if its Robin.

If you're talking to Kylar? Same thing only they'll ask their friends to grab the freak so they can't get violent.

Obviously fuck you in public when they can, but even Whitney knows how dangerous it could be to do that when you're in heat.

Whitney is strong, but the chance of some ridiculously strong alpha pulling them off of you and claiming you instead drives them insane.

You can go heats alone. Just don't spend them with anyone else.

Gloats when you ask them to take care of your heat. Yeah, of course you want them, who else would do a good job?

Another one who likes you in their clothes.

Surprisingly fresh scent. It's accompanied by smoke and the occasional alcohol, but naturally Whitney is actually rather clean to smell. It definitely turns heads.

#degrees of lewdity alex #degrees of lewdity kylar #degrees of lewdity eden #degrees of lewdity whitney #degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity avery #spill your guts #anonymous #tw noncon

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plush-rabbit · 3 years

Text

Doting Over Atsuhiro Sako

Request: speaking of the darling [Mr. Compress] , would you mind doing for him the same 'taking care of' hcs like you did for shigaraki a while ago? so i'd just like to draw a nice bath for him and maybe massage some conditioner into his curls, make them extra soft and fluffy just the way we like them <3 oooh and maybe add one of those glitter bath bombs, have you ever tried one? makes it look like you're bathing in a magical potion, 100% would recommend ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖✧*。and he can repay the kindness by telling me a nice bedtime story in his wonderful voice, i feel like Atsuhiro would make such a good story teller

A/N: I wanna take care of him, like please, let me wash their hair and kiss their face (this applies to everyone in the league)

While the League is capable of living on their own under strenuous circumstances, and as such, they’re quick to adapt. However, despite how they may seem more than capable enough, Atsuhiro still frets over them. He may not be the eldest, but he does find it in himself to look out for the others. In all the time that he’s spent around them, he’s grown fond of them, considering them family and wanting to make sure that their goals are reached. The life that he lives isn’t easy, there’s bloodshed and secrecy, but it’s the life he chose and he wouldn’t trade it for any other.

The League has finally finished transitioning into the Paranormal Liberation Front, every wish and whims of theirs met. However, with every good thing that there is, there are also setbacks. It’s been a gruelling week where he’s had to learn how to properly lead a task force. No matter what, it’s the will of his allies and he is happy to follow them, happy to make the dreams of his and his allies come into fruition. The entire week he’s been drained, his eyes holding heavy bags under his eyes and his smile much more weary than usual. He lays beside you, resting his arm across your chest. It’s heavy, dead weight on you, as he asks you to wake him up early the next day, promptly closing his eyes and falling asleep.

You can tell that the weight of responsibilities and the amount of people that have merged within the two organizations. He’s overstimulated by all the new tasks and people. While he may be a showman, he wants the attention, he wants the admirers but being stuck around people, he isn’t entirely fond of that. Especially not when he was thrown into the situation after being beaten black and blue by the same people who now respect him. You know that he needs rest, and who better to provide it than you. You don’t want anything extravagant for him, not when he’s obviously tired and just wants to lie in bed. You want a day to take care of him properly, but for now, a night with him is the best bet you’ll get.

A bit stubborn, he refuses to admit that he’s tired. He has things to do and the sooner he finishes it, the sooner everything can go back to normal. But even his stubbornness has its limits. When you come to him, grabbing his hands and sliding them upwards to his biceps, he leans into your touch, with a small smile gracing his lips and a small hum in the back of his throat. It takes a bit of convincing to have him put off his duties for the evening, but when you cup his face and rub your hand from his cheek to cup the back of his head, he’s more than willing to listen to whatever you have to say as long as it means that you don’t stray away from him. He lowers himself, his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, pulling you close to him and resting his head on your shoulder. You can feel his breath start to deepen, soft puffs of warm air that tickle your neck and when you call his name, he replies with a lazy hum. He’ll pull himself with a groan, wanting nothing more than to just rest with you.

He listens to the shower run, the door muffling the noise and he can hear you close the cupboards inside. When you step out, a thin veil of steam follows, and his body cries out to step into the shower. He looks towards you, his head jerking over and you nod. It’s nothing more than a proper shower and you stand carefully away from him, your arms outstretched and covered in iridescent soap bubbles. While he’s a bit disappointed at you not having joined him properly in the shower, he won’t lie about how nice it feels for your hands to scratch his scalp. It’s a feeling he soon won’t forget- the way that your hands feel, the way that you tell him to close his eyes and how you’re so careful to not let soap run past his brows. He adores the weight of your hands, how your fingers slip between his hair and untangle him, the feeling of having you to himself for a moment where the warm water runs down his back and soothes his tense body.

A dark robe covers his body, catching at the water that slips down his body while his hair drips onto the mat as he watches you fill the tub. A smile plays on his lips, his eyes catching a glance of himself in the mirror that slowly defogs, and despite the bags still being present, they seem less heavy, the dark blue that contrasted against his skin is now pale; a warm glow returning to him, his cheeks dusted with hints of a light red. When he returns his attention, you gesture for him to get into the tub. His lips press against your nose in a thankful kiss, letting his lips that are still wet, leave their mark against you. The water rises with his weight, his head leaned against a cushion and eyes drifting to look up at you. The water soon turns into a swirling mix of blue and pink, thin, white strips that break apart the colors and touch his skin. He gives out a silent breath of a laugh, his hand reaching from under the water to cup it in his hands. The colorful water drips out of his palm, bubbles form and pop in seconds and when he turns around, the door closes behind you.

Out of the water, he feels much lighter, his hand tracing under an eye, a frown at his lips. With a clearer mind than before, he takes notice of his appearance. It’s no wonder that you worried for him. He runs a hand through his hair, grimacing as cold water drips onto his nose. He exits the bathroom, his eyes scanning the room until they fall on you. He clears his throat and you hurry over to him, handing his clothes and making a teasing comment about how he had spent so long, that you were starting to get worried. He can only nudge you with his elbow, holding the clothes tight to his body. He sits on the bed, a towel draped over his shoulders and his back hunched as you massage oil into his hair. You scrunch at his hair, and he wishes that you’ll finish faster, only so he could lie beside you. He can feel his fatigue starting to catch up to him,

Once finished, he lies on the bed, the sleeve of his residual limb pushed until it scrunches up at his shoulder. His breath hitches in his throat, his eyes closed tightly until colors and inorganic shapes start to take form behind his eyelids. The compression bandage is snug around him, your hands kneading into his skin. He lets out a shaky breath, his chest tingling and heart beating, blood rushing to his ears as you coo softly. His body is on pins and needles as your hand flutters away from his limb, coming to rest on his back and press deep in between his shoulder blades. He hisses out, muttering a word of reassurance when you ask if he’s fine. His muscles are tense, his body and mind on high alert that you’re beside him, your hands busy as they flutter around him, pressing and massaging at every sore spot that you can find.

Carefully, he shifts, rolling onto his stomach and grinning at you, his smile crooked and arm bent over his eyes. When you creep beside him, he peeks at you through his shaded vision. Your presence is enough for him to decide that it’s an invitation to rest between your legs, his head on your chest and his arm gripping onto the side of your shirt. The silence is sweet, and the only thing to break it is the sound of your beating heart, echoing in his ears like a lullaby that won’t end. He presses himself deeper into you, nuzzling until he can’t go any deeper. Your hand ghosts down his neck, your fingertips leaving his body pricking with just your touch, even through the thin layer of clothes where you end up resting your hand.

At the end of the night, when the moon is high in the skin, a pearly light that shines upon everyone and shines between the gap in the curtains, he switches positions with a groan. He appreciates you letting him rest on you, but for now, it’s time to return the favor when you protest and tell him it wasn’t a favor but more a gift. It doesn’t make a difference to him, he only shakes it off and tells you to come close to him. Sleep has already begun to claim him, his eyes blinking rapidly until you lay beside him, his arm curling around you and chin grazing over the top of your head. Atsuhiro’s words are quiet, broken between yawns, and even so, they’re still captivating. You cling to every word, your hand sliding to rest on his chest and like how your heart echoed into his ear, his beats against your palm. He talks quietly, and soon, his words fall into a whisper that you are unable to hear. You pull away from him, your eyes falling onto the sleeping man whose hand slides down your back and claws at the covers, patting aimlessly until he finds your hand. The corner of his lips twitch into a fleeting smile. You grab the blanket and cover the both of you and he seems to sink deeper into the bed, his legs stretching out until they bump into yours.

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summerfruit-tea · 3 years

Text

When you’re having a nightmare about them

Characters: Nanami, Gojo x gn reader

Warning: none

WC: almost 700 for each

you open eyes, feeling heavy headache, you heard something “ Thank God you are alive ” that voice was similar, you turned your head to face him, he was behind you “go..goj” You were interrupted by a slap in the face, it was strong enough to leave a mark on your face. A chuckle escaped from the man in front of you, but you wasn’t his interest, it was Gojo.

“well, we’ll finally get rid of you” Shocked by what you heard, you wondered what’s happening when he spoke again, “There will be no stronger user of jujutsu after today”Not sure about what’s going on, but at this point you’re terrified. What have you done?are they going to kill your boyfriend in front of you? Gojo removed his eye cover and looks at you “I’m sorry that you’re here because of me“ your eyes widen, your breath got heavier, not knowing what to answer. A powerful light emitted from the weapon in the masked man's hand in front of you. You shut your eyes hard, scared of what will happen, when you felt an extremely high pressure that forced you to wake up.

You jumped from your sleep, making the man behind you jump too. He asked you worryingly about what happened, his hand tried to reach yours but you slapped it away.

surprise was evident on his features, You covered your face with your hands and tried to take a few breaths to calm down, Gojo kept watching you, not sure if there’s something that he can do. After a few breaths, and when you finally calmed down, you slowly turned to Gojo. Concern was clearly visible on his face. His hand reached you, he placed it on your face, gently lifting it to let you look at him “baby, was it a nightmare?”You didn't answer for a few seconds, when you answered in a low voice, “Yes.” Soon a tear fell from your eyes, he moved his thumb to wipe it. He placed a kiss on your forehead and smiled “Don't worry, I'm here.” He said, Pulling you closer to his chest

All you thought was that you aren’t going to hug him back, but your arms were wrapped around him involuntarily. You didn't know what you were supposed to do, you don't want to hug him but at the same time you don't want to let him go. Tears began to fall more and more from you ,he patted your head and spoke again “Baby calm down, it's just a nightmare. I'm right here, by your side” you moved away, having a weird feeling, it was a mixture of anger and sadness you yelled “You're the problem,you keep worrying me. And you have nothing else to relieve me other than telling me that you are the strongest... What if You met someone who is stronger than you? I don’t want to lose you” tears still falling from you. Gojo looked at you in confusion, thinking about everything happened in the past few days, and how he had three missions in this week.

“y/n” his voice was serious. you didn’t answer, ignoring him. He didn't finish his sentence, but called you again. You looked at him, You've never seen his face so serious

“I know I'm not good at comforting, but I promised you that I wouldn't die and you are the main reason for this. I won't allow myself to lose or be the cause of your sadness one day“

He held your hand and place it on his chest, "Don't make me feel guilty about something that won’t happen." Your eyes didn’t left his, “I just can't imagine my life without you” you said, holding him with your other hand tightly as if he’ll go anywhere “I love you so much I don’t want to see you hurt”

“I love you too” He kissed your hand, his arms held you to his chest trying to calm you, until your crying has finally subsided.

You both laid down, your head still against his chest. His fingers in your hair, whispering sweet nothings in your ears helping you to sleep.

After a few minutes, he called you. Responding him with a hum,he told you that he’ll be taking a vacation just for you. You smiled softly, nuzzling into him when he kissed your head and spoke softly “sleep well”.

The atmosphere was scary, it was all dark and humid. As you continue your steps, the sounds of screaming gets closer and closer when you found a guy standing, covered in blood and surrounded by curses and dead bodies. He slowly turned to face you, when you recognized him. “N-nanami?” You were confused if it was really him or not when he warned “If you don't get away from here, your fate will be the same as theirs”.

Slow steps approaching you, for some reason you aren’t moving. He repeated, in a lower tone “If you don't get away from here, your fate will be the same as theirs” slowly rising his blood covered weapon, he held your hand and placed his sword on it “Na-nanami please… stop” you said as a tear fell from your eye. He slowly plunged the knife inside your wrist while you felt the lack of oxygen from the intensity of fear, suddenly everything was black and you can’t breath.

You woke up sweating, Breathing fast. You turned your head to see your boyfriend sleeping. Even though you know he would never hurt you, and that its just a nightmare you just can’t ignore it and get back to sleep. Hastily moveing the blanket, you got out of the bed. You sat on the couch in the living room, holding your knees to your chest, Convincing yourself just a dream. Nanami is the best man you’ve ever met, Seeing how dangerous his work is and how sometimes he’s fatigued and injured when he’s back home frightens you.

You was deep in thoughts when you suddenly heard his sleepy voice “y/n? What happened?” You immediately tried to sit properly, not sure what to tell him. Your grip on your pants got hard “I … I just- felt hot” you said, not even facing him, he sighed as he got closer and crouched in front of you. His fingers caressed your hand, you flinched a bit when he touched the place he was about to cut in your dream. He asked you again in a kind tone “darling, is there’s something wrong?” You couldn’t hold yourself at this point as you started to cry unconsciously. Nanami was confused, not sure what is he supposed to do. He raised his hand, gently wiping the tears rolling down your cheeks “I don’t know what happened but please don’t cry” his hand cupped your face. Nanamis thumb caressed your face, he asked you softly “ If there’s anything that’s bothering you please tell me, I might help you” he brought your hand to his lips, kissing your palm.

you slightly pushed yourself forward, placing your head on his neck and wrapping your arms around him. His arms were immediately around you, he kissed your shoulder while slowly rubbing your back, soothing you “I’m sorry to wake you, It was just a bad dream”

“I see, You don’t have to be sorry” he placed another kiss behind your ear “do you want to talk about it?” You Wasn’t sure whether to tell him or not, But your thought was that telling him might relieve you “it was about you” you said in low voice that was barely audible “hmm? What’s wrong with me?” you told him what your dream was, and that you’re worried about him, wanting to know if his work as a Jujutsu Sorcerer was going well. Nanami fingers ran though your hair before he pushes you a little to meet your face. His hands tucked your hair behind your ears, then moved to your face once more to wipe those tears falling from your eyes “It’s just a dream, honey. The real me is here. I’m really sorry you're worried about me, I'm perfectly fine as long as you're here with me, I feel so happy and so lucky to have you” his smile was so warm, it made you smile back. Nanami asked you if you wanted to drink water or something else before you go back to bed, but you nodded with no.

Lying back on bed, Nanami's hand reached yours. This wasn't enough for you. You felt like you wanted more of him. Lifting yourself up to get near him, you laid your head on his chest. He chuckled, pulled your body closer to his and whispered “goodnight love”.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk x you #jjk fic #jjk nanami #jjk gojo #jjk x reader #nanami kento #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami x reader #gojo satoru #gojo saturo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x gender neutral reader

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five-rivers · 3 years

Text

Changeling Chapter 1

A DP Fae Au fic. I've been promising you this for so long XD. I can hardly believe I'm finally delivering, even if it's only one chapter for now.

Chapter 1: In the Beginning, There Was an Offer

They studied legends. According to those legends, today, Beltane, was a time of renewal, of birth, of fertility.

It was not supposed to be… this. Their dreams weren’t supposed to be crushed today. Not under this sun, not under these blue skies and among softly blooming flowers.

This kind of news should have come with rain. It should have come with storms.

Maddie wiped tears out of her eyes and Jack patted her on the back. The air smelled sweet and dusty at the same time. The bench was uncomfortable.

“We could try adoption,” said Jack. He sounded shocked, too. Drained. His voice was pulled taught over a great hollowness. “Lots of people adopt. We can- can do some good in the world, maybe.”

Maddie sniffed and cried harder. She’d wanted her own children, and Jack knew it. Adoption was all very well and good, but at this point the suggestion felt like some consolation prize, and she felt terrible for even thinking it was, because Jack was right, it could be a good thing, and…

She wanted children. Her own children.

“Excuse me, I believe I can help.”

There was something about how he said that, about how the voice wound and slipped through her ears that had Maddie’s head snapping up. The man who stood to the side of the bench wore a long coat with a deep hood. Symbols, symbols that Maddie had spent hours, days, weeks, researching were stitched into the fabric. His eyes glittered in the shadows. The fingers of his hands, clasped in front of him, were too long, their coloring faintly lavender, as if they had been dipped in ink and retained the stain even after they’d been washed clean.

This was not a human.

“How?” asked Maddie, feeling hope drip back into her limbs even as Jack tensed behind her. “How can you help?”

“We shouldn’t have done that,” said Jack as they drove home. “We really shouldn’t have done that. Maddie, they’re evil, there’s always a catch and it’ll always be looking for a way to push us into it.”

“The catch is in the open,” said Maddie, leaning back against the seat of the car and closing her eyes. “It isn’t as if it’s in the fine print and we’re going to stumble into it. We have one, and then I get my tubes tied, or you get snipped, and we go on with our lives.”

“What if we have twins? Triplets? Maddie, we should have talked about this.”

“There wasn’t any time,” Maddie said defensively. “I had to decide right away.”

“What are we going to do if we have twins, Maddie?”

Maddie bit her lip, her eyes opening without her full permission as she thought. “We know how to deal with things like him.”

The car jerked just a little to the right as Jack failed to suppress his flinch. “Do you remember our work on motivations? On why they take artists, musicians, children?” he asked. He forged on without waiting for an answer. “Creative sterility, we called it. For this one to be able to cure sterility, he has to be powerful. I don’t think nails in pockets and inside-out clothing is going to stop him.”

Such protections were hit and miss to begin with. One faerie might hate bread, another might love it. The sound of bells would drive off one, and another would wear them in their hair. Even cold iron was no guarantee against them.

“We’ll have to find something better, then,” she said, firmly.

Maddie laughed. Not a twin. A single child showed on the ultrasound monitor. A girl. A beautiful baby girl. Perfect.

On the other side of the bed, Jack sunk into a chair, obviously relieved. “She’s healthy?” he asked the OB/GYN.

“Completely,” she said. “This is quite the miracle the two of you put together here.” She shook her head. “We must have gotten something wrong during our examination. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am to have put you through all that, and I won’t blame you if you wanted to find a new doctor.”

“It’s fine,” said Maddie, patting the woman’s arm. “It happens.” Yes, being approached by a powerful fae just ‘happened.’ “The important thing now is to make sure there aren’t any complications.”

They made sure Jazz was born on a Sunday, with two middle names, one of which Maddie made sure to forget. They scheduled her baptism for as early a date as possible, even though both Jack and Maddie were as lapsed as it was possible to be.

Precautions.

Jack had his surgery only a month later.

They were safe. They had won.

The family of three snuggled together on the couch. Well, Jazz snuggled inasmuch as a newborn was able. They watched TV.

“Jack, dear,” said Maddie, roused to awareness by a news story about a rising young businessman. “Is that our Vlad?”

Jack blinked at the screen. “I think you’re right,” said Jack. “I haven’t seen him since college. I don’t think we’ve talked to him since college.” He frowned. “Did something happen? The three of us used to be so close… He was the only one in the whole folklore department that would put up with our theories, do you remember?”

“I don’t know,” said Maddie, trying to remember. “It was like he was there one day, gone the next.”

“Do you think he’ll mind us getting back in touch?”

“Only one way to find out.”

(As it turned out, Vlad did not particularly care to get back in touch.)

Jazz was not a normal child.

She saw too much. She understood too much. Her teeth grew in early. She learned how to get the milk out of the fridge at about the same time she learned how to walk. Her eyes were too large, even for her age. She didn’t start talking until she was almost two, and when she did, it was in complete sentences. She took to responsibility like a duck to water. No, she demanded responsibility, from waking up the family in the morning to answering the door. She loved rules and games, and the rules of games.

But they had never raised a child before. Perhaps this was simply how they were. Perhaps this was within the expected variety of humanity.

Most importantly, Jazz was theirs. Completely.

Maddie was not terribly concerned when her period missed a few days, or even when it was late by a week. But when it started pushing two…

She bought a test.

It came back positive.

Danny’s birth was different from Jazz’s in almost every particular. Instead of being infused with a sense of joy, proceedings were overshadowed by dread. Jazz had been born in a hospital. Danny would be born at home, behind every ward and protection Jack and Maddie could conceive of. The midwife they hired was more than used to odd belief systems and threw a few of her own traditions in as well.

It couldn’t hurt.

It didn’t help.

After the birth, Maddie held Danny in her arms. He’d been born in a caul, which had been slightly alarming, even though Maddie had known that it was a thing that happened regularly, and that, by most accounts, it was lucky.

He was such a tiny little thing. Smaller than Jazz. Which made sense, he was a little premature.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” she promised him, whispering into the silky, wispy curls on top of his head.

Someone knocked on the door. Maddie jerked her head up, even though the front door wasn’t at all visible from the basement. Jack flinched hard enough to drop the towels he was holding. The midwife froze.

“Hospitality,” croaked Maddie. Those rules were always humanity’s first defense against the uncanny. Don’t want something in your house? In your life? Don’t invite it in.

Although, she had arguably already invited in the fae they were worried about. Hence all the other contingencies.

The knock came again. And again, louder.

Jack let out a sigh of relief. “It can’t get in,” he murmured. Then he smiled, broad and bright. “We just have to wait it out.”

Maddie nodded, tears in her eyes. The knocking continued. This was far from ideal, obviously, but she’d been half expecting the fae to simply rip through the wards like tissue paper.

Perhaps the theory that more powerful fae were more bound by custom, more vulnerable to their weaknesses, held water? She and Jack had always dismissed it as fanciful, but they’d never been able to gather evidence before.

Then, a sound that made her heart stop.

“I’ll get it!” called Jazz, childish voice muffled by distance and the obstacle of the floors above. She’d been told not to answer the door when Danny was being born, to wait patiently in her room, but for all her unusual maturity, she was only three.

Faster than she’d ever seen him move, Jack bolted for the stairs, pushing aside several pieces of furniture and medical equipment in his haste. He took the stairs four at a time and nearly taking the door off the hinges.

He wasn’t fast enough.

“Who are you, mister?”

“Me?” said a voice Maddie had prayed against ever hearing again. “I am your uncle, my dear. Did your parents not tell you about me?”

Jazz tipped her head to one side and stared up at the man, making her eyes extra big. She knew it made a lot of people uncomfortable when she looked at them like that, so she treated it as a kind of test.

The man smiled, kind and patient. He was kind of funny looking, but in a good way.

“No,” she said finally. “Are you Mommy’s brother or Daddy’s brother?”

“Ah, you already know about uncles, then. I was worried I’d have to explain. May I come in? I would like to greet your little brother, as your parents promised I could. I have gifts for both of you.”

Jazz liked gifts. “Okay,” she said. “But I dunno if Danny’s been born yet. Mommy said it can take a while. And I dunno if he can have gifts, yet. He’s gonna be really little. That’s what all my books say, and also the internet.”

“Jazz! Don’t!”

Jazz turned to see her Daddy skid around the corner, just as her uncle stepped across the threshold.

“Not quite on time, I fear,” said uncle. “Young Jazz has already let me in.” He patted Jazz on the head. She ducked away and stuck her tongue out, like she always did when Daddy did that. “Having greeted my niece, I would like to see my nephew.”

The fae did walk past the rest of the wards as if they weren’t even there. It didn’t even break them, just ignored them. Some of them he even commented on, as if approving.

He gazed down at Danny with his otherworldly eyes. The midwife had retreated to the corner of the room, refusing to look at what was happening. Jack had attempted to attack the fae with his bare hands, only to be pushed away with something approaching gentleness by an invisible wall. Maddie didn’t know where Jazz was. Upstairs, somewhere, hopefully.

“So beautiful,” the fae said, brushing Danny’s forehead with his off-color fingers. Faster than Maddie could react, he had a pair of scissors in his hand and was cutting off a lock of hair. “A lovely child.” The lock of Danny’s hair disappeared into the fae’s coat.

If Maddie didn’t know better, she’d call the expression on the fae’s face love. But she did know better. Love was as incomprehensible to the fae as fae laws were to humans, so she’d call it by its true name: avarice.

She tightened her grip on Danny, as if she could keep the fae from plucking him from her arms.

“Not now,” said the fae, after another moment. “Soon, I should think.” It ran a hand over Danny’s head. “Soon.” The fae looked up, meeting Maddie’s eyes. “I will return,” he said, “in one year.”

“For what?” demanded Maddie, unwilling to get her hopes up.

The fae blinked slowly. “For his birthday.” He tilted his head. “To determine whether or not he is ready. Perhaps, also, to visit my niece.”

“You stay away from Jazz!” snarled Maddie. “You have no claim on her.”

The fae merely shrugged, then smiled, slyly. “She does, however, have a claim on me. I promised her gifts, before your husband whisked her away.”

“Gifts,” repeated Maddie, hoarsely.

“For the sister of my child, yes,” said the fae, voice and face as calm and even as ever. “Would you ask me to forswear myself?”

“Then,” said Maddie, “you can leave them here, with us.”

“You will give them to her?”

“Yes,” said Maddie, through her teeth. She did not say how long she would let Jazz be in the presence of these ‘gifts.’

“Very well, then,” said the fae, pulling a number of boxes out from beneath his coat. “One year. Be prepared.”

And, with that, the fae faded from view, as if he had been an illusion all along.

Danny was still with them. Their son was still with them. Still theirs.

“One year,” she said, breathless. “Only one year.”

“One whole year,” corrected Jack, rushing to her side. “You’ll see, Maddie. Next time, that fae won’t know what hit him!”

“One whole year,” echoed Maddie, weakly.

“One year to prepare,” said Jack. “Look what we did with half that time! We’re Fentons! We can do it!”

“We can do it,” breathed Maddie. “One year. We’ll be ready.”

Jack nodded, firmly. “We’ll be ready.”

#danny phantom #dannymay #dannymay 2021 #dannymay 2021 day 30: fantasy #fae au #changeling #dp fae au

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ellewords · 3 years

Note

his smile is colder than you remember. or maybe it’s his eyes. his once vibrantly warm brown eyes now look a little dead.

“tooru, hi!” you chirp nervously, looking around the large cafe like there might be more people to recognize while you grip the hot cup of tea in your hands tightly despite the way it was beginning to burn your palms through the sturdy paper. “when... when did you get back from argentina?”

he doesn’t respond at first, gaze penetrating your face, and you can’t tell if he’s trying to take in your aged features or make you uncomfortable. you figure it’s the latter when you start to squirm and only then does he look satisfied enough to speak.

“i’m just visiting for a few weeks. needed a break. how have you been?” he asks kindly, but something in his tone is just a little bit off. strained even.

“i’ve been... i’ve been good, actually,” you mutter, huffing a tiny laugh as you realize that it feels true for once. “just got my dream job, so things are probably going to get hectic pretty soon, but i’m excited, you know? it’s what i’ve been working for for years.”

oikawa looks like he wants to smile—a real, genuine smile where the corners of his eyes wrinkle slightly and his cheeks flush a pretty pink from how wide it is and his face eases up just a tiny bit—but he hesitates, biting his lip instead.

“that’s amazing, (y/n),” he says, and try as he might, he can’t hide the affection coating his words. “i’m so proud of you. we, we should celebrate. i know you must’ve worked hard for it, so let me treat you.”

your cheeks warm at the offer, nodding happily. maybe things aren’t as tense as you thought.

“that would be great! how long are you here for? we should make sure it isn’t too close to your leaving day so you don’t stress—“

“babe!” a voice calls suddenly, and you perk up immediately at its familiarity.

you turn in search of the person, and you can’t help the grin you shoot them. you wave frantically before holding up a finger to indicate that you would be just a few minutes more. they nod in understanding, and you watch as they point in the direction of a corner where you can see your things and theirs lying on top of a booth. making sure you see, they wait until you nod in confirmation, smiling one more time, before they head in the direction of the table.

your smile shrinks slightly as they walk away, but the fondness doesn’t. shaking your head as if to rearrange your thoughts, you turn back to oikawa.

his eyes are dead again, but they aren’t looking at you anymore. instead, they follow your partner as they move through the crowd of people in the cafe. then he scoffs softly, and he returns your gaze.

“so you really did it, huh?” there’s a bite in the way he says it, and you gasp softly at his change in demeanor.

it reminds you of the bitter, insecure boy you met in middle school. the boy you saw wandering the halls with a fake air around him, one of confidence and power. the boy who looked like he would crack if you stared at him too long, if you bothered to try to get to know him more than he allowed. the boy he was around you before you fell in love.

“did what?” you ask cautiously.

he scoffs again, and now his lips are pulled back in that domineering, sugary sweet grin he developed in high school. you hate that grin.

“you moved on.”

and it hits you like an icicle to the heart, the coldness of his voice.

“yeah. isn’t that,” you trail off before starting again. “you told me to, tooru, so i did. what’s wrong with that?”

you want to throw your tea when he scoffs once again, like you’re stupid for not understanding why he’s acting so weird.

“there’s nothing wrong with that,” he says. “it’s just funny, is all. weren’t you the one who said you would never let go?”

the cup in your hand caves slightly as your grip squeezes tighter around it. the liquid inside splashes over the edge just a little, and you hiss when it lands on your thumb.

“that... that was a long time ago. before you left,” you say, and you hate that it sounds like you’re trying to justify some wrongdoing because you haven’t done anything wrong.

“i know. i just figured you’d actually stick to it. i, i just, i guess i should have known you wouldn’t stick around.”

the cup crushes in your hand, but this time, you don’t feel the sting of the tea meeting your skin. your mind races too much.

he’s doing that thing he used to do in high school, you realize, when he was hurt but didn’t want to confront it. the thing where he would say things, things he didn’t mean, so that he could hurt you in the same way he was hurting. the thing he didn’t always realize he was doing. he just desperately wanted to be the one with the upper hand, and as much as he cared about people, he cared about protecting himself more.

you’d fallen victim to that thing a number of times back then when you knew that he needed the support to get through it. he just needed someone to care enough to help him. you could understand him then. but now...

now you didn’t understand him at all.

“no,” you spit out, and he jumps at the way the cup crumbles in your hands, and he jumps again when he hears the frustration in your voice.

“no, you don’t get to be mad at me when you’re the one who decided to leave. i was willing to come with you and support you and stay by your side, but it was you that told me not to. and still! still, i said i would wait for you, until you were ready to have me again, but there were no calls, no messages, no letters, no nothing!

“and i saw you, on your socials! you looked happy. happier than you ever did here. you looked so happy, and you looked like, like, you looked like you had moved on. from japan, from the past, from... from me... so yeah, i figured it was time i did the same, because if you were happy, than i was happy. that’s all i ever wanted for you, tooru, and you were, so it seemed fitting that i let go.

“but i refuse to be made to feel bad when this is what you said you wanted from me! i spent months wondering if i made the right choice when i let you get on that plane all alone, if there was more that i could have done to make you realize how much i cared, and supported you, and loved you! and i’ve finally realized that i did enough! that we just weren’t meant to be. i moved on because you did. because i was ready to.

“so no, tooru, you don’t get to be upset about how everything played out. you don’t get to be upset with me.”

your chest is heaving by the time you’re finished. it almost hurts to breathe, but you don’t have time to think about that because the noise of the cafe surges back into your ears. you look around, suddenly embarrassed about your outburst, but you’re relieved to see that no one is focused on your words. they’re all frantic about your hands and the tea that spilled to the floor, steam still floating up from the puddle that formed at your feet.

except oikawa. his cheeks are that pretty pink you used to love, and his mouth is opening and closing like a fish. he’s staring at you with those same dead eyes, but for a second, you think you see something flicker in them. he opens his mouth, this time looking like he’s going to say something, but before he has the chance, another distressed voice cuts in.

“oh my gosh, love, your hands!” your partner yelps, suddenly by your side, fumbling clumsily as they throw your things over their shoulder so they can tend to you. “oh gosh, um, excuse me, can you grab some of those napkins for us, please?”

they’re talking to oikawa, who seems to blink out of his daze just then before grabbing a handful of napkins to give them.

your partner taps the napkins across your hands desperately, and they’re holding you so gently and with so much care that you finally feel the burn of the fallen tea. thankfully, the burn isn’t anything too serious, but the skin throbs visibly and aches slightly. your eyes water. they notice.

“hey, no, it’s alright, okay? look at me, love. i’ll get you another one, okay, but first i need to make sure you’re okay,” they mutter to you, eyes darting across your face with worry.

you sniffle, shaking your head instantly, and then you lean heavily into their side. you’re tired and your eyes hurt and your chest feels so tight, and you just want to go home. it’s almost as if they can read your mind because before you can utter the words, they’re mumbling into your hair that they’ll make you some at home instead. they start to guide you to the exit; with every step away from the scene you had made, you feel lighter.

you had loved tooru, all those years ago, and you had wanted him to come back for so long. you’d hoped that one day he would wake up and realize how much you yearned to be with him, or that he should call you just to see how you were. you’d hoped that he would realize he still felt the same way you did. but you could only put up with so much, after being left in the dark for so long, after dreaming for so long, after being disappointed for so long. you realized that now.

you were happy now, even if it wasn’t by his side.

oikawa can see it, the happiness that follows the two of you out the door. he longs for it, but he doesn’t move in pursuit of it. instead, when the two of you are finally out of sight, oikawa allows another scoff to fall past his lips, but this time, tears fall from his eyes as well.

-💛

— from elle ! this was pure pain but in the best possible way ?? like wow 💛anon you are absolutely amazing and talented please this made my heart actually ache oh gosh ;-; you are so so good i don’t think words are enough to describe you aaaaa !! anyways for my addition (under the cut as always), i decided to do a lil flashback before oikawa decided to come back. i was v intrigued by oikawa leaving reader in the dark so this scenario stemmed from that. idk if this will help, but i listened to taylor swift’s i almost do on repeat while writing

notes / warnings : timeskip!oikawa x gn!reader, scenario, angst, wc: ~1k (perhaps my longest margins entry ??)

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Twenty-seven.

You’ve reached out to him twenty-seven times today. This included calls, text messages, and voice memos.

They were always sweet; always checking up on him, asking how he is, if he’s getting along with his new team, if practice was tiring, if he was taking care of himself. You always thought of him first, put him above yourself. Oikawa knows it shouldn’t be that way, but the small, selfish part of himself couldn’t help but love it. Him being oceans away didn’t seem to change that.

The front door shuts just as his phone lights up, your name appearing on the lock screen. The heart by your name taunts him, reminding him of what once was. Oikawa’s eyes scan over your text message, tears pricking at the corners. He’s unsure if it’s from the brightness of the screen contrasting with the darkness of his apartment, or your words. Possibly both.

[ y/n <3 : it’s getting late over there, i hope you’re getting some rest. take care… ]

Oikawa bites his lip, closing out the notification as soon as he finished reading, immediately regretting it. His lock screen is still a picture of the two of you, mocking him. But if he shut his eyes tight enough, he could almost imagine it.

The pale blue sky, the sun shining down on the two of you, the cool breeze blowing through his hair, the smile that spread across your face, the faint pink flush on his features, his arm around your shoulders, the way you leaned into his touch. Your presence is warmth, your eyes brought him comfort, your hand resting on his cheek gave him peace.

His phone pings again, snapping Oikawa out of his trance. Another message.

[ y/n <3 : i love you. ]

Twenty-nine.

Twenty-nine calls, texts, and voice messages. You’ve reached out to him twenty-nine times today. Yesterday you reached out to him thirty-five times. Last week it was at fifty.

But Oikawa Tooru didn’t answer a single one.

A sigh leaves him, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He doesn’t bother turning the lights on, the quiet sounds of his shoes hitting the wooden floor fill the room. Oikawa’s steps are slow, like each one physically pained him to take. Nighttime was always the hardest to bear, the most difficult to resist. It’s when the temptation to call you is at its peak.

Oikawa stands in front of his living room window, hands in his pockets. The view of the city never failed to take his breath away; bright lights from the buildings that towered over the hundreds of people on the street, their nights only beginning as they hopped from one bar to another. Practice was too much today, his body beaten and bruised from the long hours of setting, receiving, blocking, and serving. There’s a strain in his muscles that he can’t shake off, and if it weren’t for that he would have been part of the city nightlife too.

Nights are the hardest. He doesn’t have volleyball or his teammates to keep him occupied. He’s not dancing his heart out with strangers who vaguely recognize him, music blaring in his ears, taking pictures to post on social media the very next day. Night are the hardest because his mind always leads him to you.

Midnight for him meant that it was midday for you. Have you eaten yet? How is work treating you? Are you getting along with your coworkers? …did you think of him like he always thought of you? Questions that he could have the answers to within a few seconds; all he had to do was reach for his phone, look for your name — the only one with a heart next to it, and press the call button.

Instead, Oikawa reads through your texts. The ones where you ask him how he’s doing, the ones where you quickly summarize your day, the ones where you tell him you love him. His heart flutters before it aches, the grip on his phone tightening.

His heart has always belonged to you, Oikawa knew it from the very day you met. He knew it when he confessed. He knew it when he asked you to be his. He knew it as you went on dates, as you celebrated anniversaries. He knew it through every fight, in every kiss. He knew it when he got on the plane that took him miles away from you.

Oikawa also knew you deserved better than him. He knew you deserved someone present; someone who could be there with you, physically. Clearly, he can’t be the one to do that anymore. This is for you. At the end of it all, what he’s doing is for you. Maybe it would make everything easier. You’d think he’d move on. You’d hate him. It’s for the best, right?

He hopes he’s wrong, but Oikawa persists anyways.

Out of sight, out of mind. Isn’t that how the saying goes?

It was much more difficult than Oikawa thought it would be; after all, you’re probably just as stubborn and persistent as he is. His phone lights up, signalling a new text.

[ y/n <3 : i really hope you’re okay, tooru. ]

This makes thirty.

He bites the inside of his cheek, a futile attempt to stop the tears that streamed down his face. A choked up noise leaves the back of his throat, surprising himself. He could have ended both his and your pain, all he had to do was type out a reply.

But the flurry of contradicting emotions stop him from doing so. Oikawa wants you to live your life, to move on, to forget him, to be happy without him. At the same time, he wanted you to wait for him, with open arms and that smile he loved.

His fingers move on their own, slowly but surely, as quiet sobs raked through his entire body.

[ i’m always going to love you. ]

Oikawa almost sends it. But he doesn’t.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

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#I gotta stop hurting my baby sigh #I almost do really provided my soundtrack for this #...I bet you think I either moved on or hate you...bc each time you reach out there's no reply <//3 #written on the margins 🔖#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #oikawa imagines #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #🎐 — 💛anon! <3

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