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#suddenly ur pulled away from ur only other support in the world
bonescribes · 1 year
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satan has ruined me im thinking so hard abt yuki's second trc verse
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winterrrnight · 11 months
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heyyy babe congrats on 100! i'm gonna request prompt 9 with drew <33 (also gonna be flooding ur inbox with celly asks so be prepared)
heyyy b! thank you so much darling <33 your love and support means the whole world to me ❤️ I hope you like this and is up to your expectations 💝
the storm
PAIRING: drew starkey x gn!reader
SUMMARY: drew finds you on the sidewalk crying your eyes out under a storm because you found out your partner cheated on you.
WARNINGS: cheating (not by drew), fluff + ignore any little grammatical/spelling errors!
EDITH SPEAKS: I think this specific plot could've been so good with Rafe, but I think it's pretty good with Drew too!! I hope you all like it :)
PROMPT REQUESTED: "let's go home, you're freezing, and i wouldn't want you catching a cold."
100 followers celebration || navigation
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You pulled your legs in closer to your chest, the rain still falling heavily which creates a sense of coldness around you. The tears keep on falling down your face and at this point you don't even know if all the water on your face is from the tears or the raindrops.
All your clothes soaking wet, your hair dripping with water and tears constantly streaming down your face, you're crouched on the sidewalk. It's nearing 10 pm at night, and the forecast this morning warned about a heavy thunderstorm tonight, but here you are, right out in the oncoming storm, all because your lover broke your heart.
Well, your ex-lover.
You were on your way to their home, so excited because you made their favorite cookies. But the shock you experienced when you opened the door to their room and saw a naked body alongside theirs under the sheets is indescribable. Your legs gave up underneath you and you fell on the floor, all the voices of the world shunned out. You gave your entire heart and so much more to this relationship and what did you get in return?
You got cheated on.
You didn't let them explain despite their pleadings, you ignored them, pushed them away and ran away from that place. The horrible, horrible place which you had started to call home.
You ran, ran as if your life depended on it. Your mind stopped working and you had no idea where you were headed. You were just running, only wanting to get away as far as possible. Eventually, you got so tired of running, you dropped down on the sidewalk, the streams of your tears never stopping.
A streak of lightning flashes across the sky and soon enough a crack of thunder is heard in the distance. You look up at the sky with your glassy eyes, the momentary lighting making your eyes shine.
You suddenly hear another rumble, but this time, it isn't the thunder. It belongs to a bike.
You look up to see none other than Drew approaching you on his bike.
Just as he spots you, he hurriedly turns off his bike, gets off and rushes to you. His hands reach out for your cold hands and sobbing body.
"Oh my god," he whispers looking at your state. His arms wrap tightly around you and pull you flush against him, and you cannot help but cry out even louder in his embrace.
"It's okay, you're okay," he mumbles in your ear, squeezing you tightly and resting his head on the top of your head, as you freely let your tears fall against his shirt.
He doesn't know what happened to you that has got you sobbing right under a storm, but he does know that he will not spare who did this to you.
"D-drew," you stutter, slowly pulling away from his chest and looking up at his face with your blotchy, red eyes.
"Yes?" He asks you, his eyebrows stitched together with sorry.
You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, before more tears make their way down your face and you swing your arms around Drew's neck, pulling him closer to you. The more you think about it, the more it hurts.
Drew holds you close to himself, rubbing your back as he feels your skin so cold against his. When he gently pulls you back and puts his hands on your arms, he feels the goosebumps arising at your skin.
"You're so cold," he says, rubbing his hands up and down your arms to create friction to help you warm up. A strong gust of wind blows, making you shiver and your teeth start to chatter.
Drew quickly gets his jacket off and puts it around you. "Let's go home, you're freezing, and I wouldn't want you catching a cold." He says, looking in your eyes. All you are able to give as a response is a nod of your head. He then takes your hands in his and pulls you up from the sidewalk, leading you to his bike.
He helps you sit behind him on the bike, and instinctively you wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head against his back. The jacket has already filled you with warmth, stopping goosebumps from rising on your skin and your teeth from chattering.
Drew takes off with you ever so close to him, determined to show you how perfect of a life you can live without them being there.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @ragingsammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @vianwrites
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moonndust · 1 year
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gonna put out my honest thoughts about my current progress in fire emblem engage bc i need to talk about how silly this game is
i’m only at chapter 7-8 btw and i’ve already spoiled myself half of the plot
i couldn’t choose between f!alear or m!alear bc their designs were.. something. i chose f!alear for my first run since i did the “same ingame gender as irl gender” thing (and it was an entire tradition for me at some point).
didn’t even reach chapter 6 and f!alear’s design was too much for me. i liked seeing her in a ponytail tho but i was not gonne be patient enough to change her class JUST for the ponytail. like girlie ik ur the divine dragon n shit but atleast try to not get your long ass hair pulled midway in battle.
and wtf is your armor??? you have individual boob cups for what?? your entire outfit does not look an ounce comfortable and yet you still slept in that shit. the short ass skirt too?? the stocking things??? there are like 10 design atrocities and i could even name more (and that’s just on a scale of practicality)
made a new save file and chose m!alear bc i was getting tired of f!alear’s entire armor outfit. ngl i preferred playing as m!alear bc he felt a lot more comfortable playing as an mc. but his entire victorian child fit wasn’t the best but it was more practical than the boob cups.
still mad there’s no unisex mcs.
anyways the prologue was kinda funny. our ass just wakes up and suddenly the world is in shambles bc some salty ass kingdom made sombron become the second coming of jesus christ.
queen lumera only had like.. 2 seconds of screentime until the ultimate mentor/parent death trope scene bc dead parental figures are a must for fire emblem mcs (unless ur sigurd and become the dead parent)
the firene siblings appeared. albert is precious and céline is lowkey on thin ice because of that damned outfit. like maybe wear something more practical in battle other than easy hair pulling and frilly dress?? (i know i can change her class but i’m a lazy bum). im still currently trying to know my way around albert’s skill set but he’s a good unit atm.
the twins are splendid little creatures. clanne got too many mvps and is still on the mvp streak ever since i paired him with celica (i abused warp ragnarok too many times). framme is just there for moral support and actual healing support.
vander’s lvl 1 grandpa ass was actually doing decent damage comapred to lvl 6 alear. you don’t know how many times vander had to come in clutch when alear was 3 hp away from evaporating.
i paired albert w/ sigurd and clanne w/ celica. that shit was game changing. i revoked céline’s emblem privileges for no reason. i just gave celica to clanne since he technically did more damage. he is like low tier but he’s my biggest carry atm. how the turns have tabled.
i changed alcryst’s class to tireur d’élite the second i got his lvl 10 ass. i’m pretty sure he might be my strongest unit atm (lvl wise).
idk who i should pair micaiah with so i just let her stay with yunaka. i never rlly used micaiah’s abilities for healing but i only used her to widen yunaka’s range w/ magic if she needed to chip in some damage to an enemy.
i always get tired at like the 7th turn in every battle and I just abuse celica’s warp ragnarok to beat up that one enemy to win the battle. somehow clanne still deals big damage w/o the engage boosts.
listen i have no clue what they fed the stewards but i am now afraid of them with my every being.
jean and anna r just there. jean doesn’t do shit bc i alr have framme. ik that jean might be decently better than framme but i don’t want his lvl 1 ass dying every single time. anna is a pretty good backup for chain attacks actually. but everytime i see her i get reminded of her commander version from heroes (bc it was my first fe game)
i spent the good majority of my bond fragments on arena emblem bonds w/ my current lineup bc i gotta get those big boi skills n shit. i also watched my units kill each other bc ig that’s a thing now. (i witnessed alcryst beat the shit out of céline)
sommie is a silly little fart.
still waiting on the day i get lucina’s emblem. i want to witness a gang fight.
outside of all the cutscenes, the game has the animation budget of 2 dollars.
i feel like i should make a seperate post on fe13 design atrocities and impracticalities (im bad at character design)
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donutloverxo · 3 years
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NO BUT LIKE CONCEPT: SMUT HC where mob!steve comes back from a rough night that leaves him very much outta it and ur the only one who can help him ... in more ways than one
Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.
I'm making this a drabble cause I can't work with HCs. Thank you❤ Warmings -explicit sexual content, dom Steve, daddy kink, spanking, blood and wounds, bullets. Dividers by @whimsicalrogers
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You put some distance between your poor ear and your phone upon hearing your friends loud screech, excited since she saw your Instagram post of your new engagement ring.
"It is so beautiful! And so unconventional and unique too!"
"Mm-hm," you hummed, applying a second coat of your fiery red nail paint, to make it more intense, you just knew it'd look amazing against Steve's pale skin, he absolutely loved it when you scratched him and were a bit rough with him.
You never gave him any pointers on what kind of engagement ring you'd like, only thing that was a bit too obvious - which you never actually needed to say - was that you loved shiny things. So he has gotten you a ring with a huge sapphire ruby and tiny sparkly diamonds adorning the band. It was everything you needed and more.
"Makes sense because our relationship is anything but conventional." Where he had never directly said that his job involved a few things that were kind of, sort of, illegal but you weren't an idiot, it didn't take you long to figure out.
You knew he was important and rich when he asked you out, not just because he wore fancy clothes, but the way he carried himself, tall and proud and an aura that dominated any room he was in, two bodyguards always around him, and when you both started getting serious he assigned Peter, who was sort of an intern or newbie from what you gathered, to always escort you places and take care of you.
Maybe it wasn't exactly the most rational thing to do - marrying someone who was as feared as he was respected - but all you knew was that he was a good man and you had faith in him, so you stayed away from that part of his life.
"You must be planning the wedding now," she beamed over the phone.
You scoffed, blowing on your fingers, "No, he's always at work these days. It's so annoying, if it doesn't change then I'm leaving and taking the ring with me."
You looked at it sparkling on your finger, it was too beautiful to part with. Besides it became yours as soon as he gave it to you.
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"You're late, but there's nothing new about that," you puffed out your cheeks, hands crosses under your chest, as he loosened his tie and worked on taking off his shoes. He had been coming home past midnight for the last month, enough was enough!
"Doll," he groaned, looking at you and ready to tell you off and ask for some space, but then he saw you. In a satin babydoll that barely covered you, with lace trimmings that did nothing to hide your soft nipples, your toes and nails painted just the color he liked, and you were wearing those ridiculous fluffy slippers with bunny ears that he had grown to love.
His mouth opened and then shut like a damn goldfish, forgetting what he was about to tell you.
"Steven," you furrowed your brows.
He knew he was in trouble as soon as you called out his full name. "Yeah?"
"When are we going to discuss the wedding?"
"I'm sorry, doll, work has been hectic these days. But soon."
"Soon? Soon doesn't do it for me," jutting your hip and leaning against the door to your walk in closet, "I need an exact date."
"I can't give it to you right now, puppy," his jaw clenching as you rolled your eyes, "Watch yourself, sweetheart. I had a long day, you don't wanna get on my bad side today."
"You shouldn't have put a rock on it if you didn't intend on marrying me," rolling your eyes extra hard just to get on his nerves.
"I do want to marry you. But right now... you're sort of making me have second thoughts."
He regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. Because you looked about ready to smack him.
"Fine then. I guess I'll leave and go live with my mother from now on. She would be happy for sure, she isn't too thrilled about our engage - " you stopped your rant as soon as you noticed crimson seeping through his crisp white undershirt as he took off his coat.
Your eyes as wide as saucers, your heart beating fast and hard in your chest and you could feel your eyes getting watery. You weren't handing out empty threats, you were definitely serious about leaving. Just to remind Steve of just how much he loves you.
It wouldn't be the first time. You had done it once before, when you went back to live at your apartment because he yelled at you for going out with your girlfriends without Peter. You didn't need a babysitter, especially not one who was several years younger than you. You had gathered up your things from Steve's penthouse and went home with a heavy heart. You loved him with all your heart, but there was no way you could make it work with someone who was that controlling and mean to you.
But he came to you, literally got on his knees to apologize and to beg for you to take him back. He even made you give up your apartment and got you a bigger house for you both to live in. Just so you couldn't take off ever again.
"Steve... your bleeding..." you said as you held back a sob. Any anger you had towards him was now gone.
"Oh, shit," he looked down to his side, "Must've ruptured the stitch or something..."
You walked over to him, holding onto his waist and looking up at him, trying not to look at his wound. You weren't that squimish around blood, it rarely ever bothered you, but this was your Stevie, and he was hurt. "What happened?"
"Its... It's nothing, doll. It was an accident."
"Yeah, I guess you slipped and fell on a bullet," you huffed.
"No, the bullet barely grazed me. And you know I don't like talking about those things with you."
"Why? I'm not stupid or weak, I have a right to know."
"Of course, not, puppy. You're my sweet, strong, smart girl," he cooed, bending a bit to peck your lips and then groaning. "Gotta, be careful with this," he said as your fingers worked on unbuttoning his shirt.
"If I'm so strong and smart then tell me what happened," you asked as you pushed his shirt off his shoulders. You didn't stop to marvel at his huge and perfect body like you always do, you looked at the fresh batch on stitches right over his hips.
"No, puppy. You're too good for that world, too good for me," he groaned as he sat down on the little pink couch he had put in the closet for you. Since you spent hours trying to pick outfits, he didn't want you standing too long and hurting your feet.
"Fine then don't tell me," you whimpered, rubbing your tears off with the back of your hand.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay. I'm right here, not going anywhere," he tried to pull you into his lap, usually he wouldn't even have to ask for you sit on it, but right now you were pulling away and refusing for some reason, "C'mere, doll," he almost whined. Not used to being told no by you anymore than you were by him.
"No, I don't wanna hurt you," you hiccuped, as your sobs started to calm down.
"You wouldn't. You could never hurt me. C'mere I wanna cuddle you and make you feel better," he tried to pull you into him again but you just shook your head.
"I should be the one making you better. Not the other way around. But I don't know how to..." you swayed from side to side, suddenly ashamed of your brash behavior from earlier. "I'm sorry, I was being such a brat earlier."
"It's okay, puppy. I forgive you. You were right, we need to fix a date and find a venue and get you a pretty dress. I wanna see you in one of those poffy gowns, like a princess."
"That's called a ballgown," you said proudly, having done your research now. You knew all about the styles of the gowns, sleeves, necklines, colors and everything. "And you're not going to be involved in dress shopping process. Grooms aren't supposed to see the dress before the wedding it's bad luck."
He hummed at that, a bit disappointed but he would eventually see it, and then take it off, so it wasn't a huge loss. "Yes, you're right. But, let's not forget, you were a bad girl."
You gasped incredulously, "Well, you were being a bad fiance!" Which earned you a swift smack to your backside, making you yelp and fall forward, holding onto his shoulders for support.
"I didn't mind you calling me out for that. I want you to be honest with me and tell me everything. But you threatened to leave me, again."
You pouted. Offended for being called out so blatantly. Yeah you always made empty threats, packed up your bags just for show, whenever you didn't get your way. Never considering his feelings when yours were hurt.
"Sorry," you mumbled.
"I forgive you. I know you didn't mean it. But I'll have to teach you your lesson. Just so you know better next time."
You nodded your head, which made him spank you once more, "Yes, daddy!"
"Good. How many do you think you deserve?"
"Um... Fifteen. Ten for threatening to leave, and five for giving you attitude."
"See, you're so smart. I'll punish you tomorrow though. I'm tired right now," he groaned as he sat back against the couch, squeezing your hips and admiring your figure, showing through the thin material of your nightie.
"Um, daddy?"
"Yes, angel?"
"Is there anyway I can make you feel better right now?"
"Yeah, you can give me a kiss. You didn't give me one this morning when I left, or when I came back."
"Okay, I'll kiss you. But I also wanted to do more..." you murmured, your face burned hot as you realised that Steve was going to make you say what you wanted to do.
"Like what?"
"Like, take your cock down my throat. Would that make you feel better? I'll try and be careful about your stitches." Truth be told you missed being intimate with him, you needed it as much as he did.
"It definitely would make me feel better. But I want to have you close to me," he stroked the inside of your thighs, hands dangerously close to your cunt, "Why don't you, come ride my cock. Just like I taught you, hm?"
"But - what if I hurt you..." you whined. But he wasn't having any of it, rolling your panties down your legs.
"You wouldn't, puppy, come on we'll be careful. Be quick."
You gave him a meek nod, unzipping him with shaky fingers, giving his glorious cock a couple of pumps before straddling his lap. You made sure to not put any pressure on his lap. Lining his cock up to your pussy with your hands wrapped around his neck, you slowly sanked down on him.
First giving him a nice and thorough kiss to make him for not kissing him goodbye or welcome home like you always do. "I feel so full," you say against his lips.
He hummed, squeezing your ass, "I was made for you, angel. As you were for me." He slid the straps of your nightie down your arms, exposing your breasts to him. He made sure to shower them with all his lips, sucking, kissing and biting and pulling with his mouth. You were making the sweetest of noises, trying to keep your moans in as he helped you bounce on his cock by holding onto your hips.
"You're doing so good. Being such a good girl for me. My sweet, best girl," he cooed, kissing your forehead, he knew how you were still vulnerable to be on top.
"Am I making you feel better, daddy?" you sniffled, his cock hiting you in all the right places, making it impossible for you to keep going and hold off your climax.
"I'm all better already, thanks to you, puppy."
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idontblushsrry · 3 years
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Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons
A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.
(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)
Word Count:  1943
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This dork-
He is so sweet and kind and considerate 
But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass
You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts
You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America
The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten
Like your skin was glowing??? how???
And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too
And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft
((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))
But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao
Will do literally anything you ask
You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal
Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you
Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America
To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly
He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works
Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together
Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like 
“We should totally do that” 
And you were like “Bet”
Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning
“???What happened?”
“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”
Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on
How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle
Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons
Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”
(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)
“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”
“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”
So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’
For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more
And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man 
During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’
Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’
Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.
You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’
“Can I come in baby?”
You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door
When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color
You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”
You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping
He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you
And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship
Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship
Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other
Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship. 
He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together
He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick
If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist
Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence
Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you
Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts
Like all of them
Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him
Speaking of dates, good luck
Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring
But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him
Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone
((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))
He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker
He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through
You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo
Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth
But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.
Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times
But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent
When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb
When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start
“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance
“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.
You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs
“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.
You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.
He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it 
You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building
You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack
When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him
However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi
You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight
You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died 
It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped
You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.
You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade
Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you
You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground
The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense
Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn
He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies
The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad
Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list
You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist
Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down 
“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”
When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind
‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.
364 notes · View notes
petri808 · 3 years
Note
hiii i am absolutely obsessed with ur drabbles could u please do nalu #4 and #39 pls🥺
“Walk out that door and we’re through” + “Please come home, I miss you”
This was tough cause the questions could trigger a story similar to this one I also did for these prompt asks round. But I think I can make it different enough, albeit angst hell 😅 here we go! It’s a little rushed but longer then I expected for a ficlet lol
“Lucy,” Natsu knocked at the office door, “it’s time to go.”
“Where?” She answered without looking up.
“Levy’s birthday party.”
“Oh!” Lucy sat up in her desk chair and turned her body to face her husband. “Right! I forgot. Um, shucks, but I’m on a writing high right now and I can’t stop— tell her I’ll make it up to her, will ya?”
She always says that… Natsu sighed, “yeah, sure…”
Levy Redfox was Lucy’s childhood best friend and while the woman was also his friend, it just didn’t sit well with Natsu that she’d choose writing over the woman. But this had been an ongoing issue lately... Don’t get him wrong, he fully supported his wife’s career as an author, especially now that it’s really starting to take off. The issue was it had consumed her at the expense of everyone around her.
He knocked on their friends door, answered by Levy herself.
“Natsu!” Levy hugged the man excitedly, but when she noticed he was alone, frowned a tad. “Again, huh?”
“I’m sorry, Levy,” Natsu’s shoulders slumped. “Lucy’s in a,” he made quotation marks in the air, “‘writing high,’ and said she’ll make it up to you.”
“Well, I’m glad you came,” the woman smiled despite the sadness hiding behind her eyes.
All of their closest friends were in attendance and spent the evening talking, eating, and playing a few fun birthday games. It distracted him to some extent, but as the night wore down and the other guests had all left, Natsu, his best friend Gray Fullbuster, Levy, and her husband Gajeel sat around in the living room talking about the elephant in the room. Lucy.
“I’ve tried talking to her,” Levy said quietly, “but, I try not to make it sound too harsh.”
“Maybe that’s exactly what you need to do babe,” Gajeel chimed in. “Be blunt.”
“Yeah, I’m like you,” Natsu agreed with Levy. “It’s not easy to bring it up cause she’s oblivious about it.”
“But it’s hurting your marriage man!” Gray looked at Natsu. “And your friendship,” he switched to Levy. “I’m with Gajeel. If you aren’t honest with her, it’s not gonna get better.”
“Think I don’t know that?!” Natsu spat back. “Think I enjoy being the only one in that house in pain?! I don’t, but—” his voice cracked, “I’m worried I’ll push her away if I say something.”
“She’s already pushing you away dude. Do you still love her?”
“Of course, I do,” Natsu sighed. “I love her more than anything, but apparently it’s not enough… we haven’t even… you know, I can’t remember the last time.”
“Wow… Then you really gotta tell her. All of it,” Gray coaxed.
Levy who’d sat quietly through the back and forth, chimed in quietly. “Gray’s right. You should tell her, when you go home, just tell her how you’re feeling. And whatever happens, happens. We can just hope for the best.”
“You know you’ll be the first to hear from her if I do,” Natsu pointed out.
“I know. But… it’s time I come clean too.”
Natsu slumped back onto the couch and let out a depressed exhale. “And you,” he looked to Gray. “You know if it goes wrong I’ll be showing up at your door.”
“My couch has your name on it.”
“Gee, thanks.”
That had to be the longest drive home Natsu had ever taken, even though it was really just 10 minutes. He was a physical person by nature and never been very good at expressing his feelings in words. Words were his wife’s domain. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but his biggest fear was saying things wrong. With his hand on the doorknob, Natsu took one last breath and opened the door to her office. He knew before entering, Lucy was still working by the clacks of the keyboard and interrupting would immediately cause friction. But he couldn’t wait anymore.
“I’m home,” Natsu called out… with no response. He sighed and spoke more sternly. “Lucy. I’m home.”
“Oh, welcome home,” she finally responded. “How was the party?”
He knew it was an empty question, because she never even looked up or stopped typing and it meant she wasn’t really listening. “Lucy… we need to talk.”
“I’m kinda busy Natsu.”
“I know, but you’re always busy Lucy. That’s part of the problem.” The moment the last word came out, Natsu knew instantly he’d picked the wrong one. Crap.
Lucy stopped typing, turned off the screen and shut the laptop. “Problem?” She turned the chair around with her eyes narrowed in a focused glare. “What do you mean, problem?”
“Lucy,” he ran a hand down his face, “I don’t want to fight, but we need to talk— there’s a lot we need to talk about.”
“Like what?” She crossed her arms. “What is so important that you need to mess with my job?”
There it was.
“I’m not trying to do that,” he sighed. “You know how proud I am of your career. But, it feels as if you’re choosing your career over everything else in your life. Me, your friends, we’re all just being pushed aside—”
“Are you kidding me?!” Lucy shot out of her chair shaking in anger. “I am not doing any of that! I’m not pushing anyone away! Y-You’re the one who’s acting selfish trying to tell me I’m not giving you enough attention! And don’t you bring Levy into this! If this was bothering her she’d tell me!”
“It does bother her! But she’s afraid of getting,” he gestured with his hands up and down at Lucy, “this reaction! Is it selfish to want to spend some time with my own wife?!” Natsu growled. “We never spend time together anymore! You’re just always hunched over that damn computer!”
“I’m doing my job!” Lucy shrieked. “I have deadlines to meet! This story ain’t gonna write itself! Research ain’t gonna materialize on its own! It’s a lot of work!”
“Lucy,” Natsu pinched his brows together, trying hard to stop from snapping further as well as to control the tears building in his eyes. “I love you, more than anything in this world, but I don’t know what happened to the woman I’d married. The old Lucy wouldn’t abandon her loved ones like this.”
“You’re just mad because I’m successful now.”
“That’s bullshit! And you know it! No job is worth losing the people you care about, and if you can’t understand that, then, I don’t know what else to say!”
“Then I guess there isn’t anything more to say,” she spat back.
“I guess not.” Natsu answered softly, turned and left the room.
He’d already assumed confronting Lucy about her precious career would not end well, and he was right. Staying would only cause more trouble. So, he quietly packed a suitcase to go to Gray’s house, making sure to bring anything he’d need because he had no idea how long he’d stay there. He’d said his peace; it really was all in Lucy’s hands now.
Back in her office, Lucy dropped back down into her chair as the full weight of what just transpired hit her like a ton of bricks. She cradled her face in her hands as the anger that had fueled her response suddenly mixed with sadness. Tears flowed free. Did that really just happen?! She could hear Natsu moving around in the bedroom, the opening of drawers, the closet, the zipping sound of the suitcase, each and every step driving a knife deeper and deeper. How dare he tell her to stop writing! This was her dream! Her livelihood! Why couldn’t he just support her instead of acting like a child who wasn’t getting attention!
When she heard Natsu walking towards the front door area, Lucy raced out of the room to confront him one last time.
“Walk out that door and we’re through!” She screamed. “Do you hear me? We’re through!”
Natsu ignored her words knowing it was the anger talking… hoping it was just the emotions fueling her rage. “I’ll be at Gray’s,” he simply responded with a hint of sadness in his tone. “You should really think long and hard about this Lucy, because if not, you’ll lose a lot more than you realize.” And with that, he closed the front door behind him.
Lucy crumpled to the ground and wailed— raged, banging the floor with her fists as the sobbing overtook her. She truly could not understand what brought this on. Hadn’t she been a good wife?! Faithful! Hard working! What more did he want?! All she was doing was trying to make it in the cut-throat world of publishing. Does he not understand how hard it is to make it in that world?! She pulled her phone from her pocket and started to dial Levy’s phone number. But just as she got to the last two numbers, she stopped. It was already 1 am, and it would be rude to wake her friend up. Lucy sniffled and hung her head in shame before dragging herself back towards the bedroom. She’ll just call in the morning.
When Levy answered the phone, Lucy was slightly taken aback by the response. Not a hello, just a, ‘I wondered when you’d call.’ Evidently the woman was expecting it, but she was too tired to let it add to her problems. She hadn’t slept much after Natsu left— no surprise. She was still angry, but also confused, sad, and just mentally drained of life. Her friend agreed to come over in a bit, so Lucy dragged herself into the shower hoping it would make her feel better.
“Wow, you don’t look good,” Levy remarked at her friend.
“Hi to you too,” Lucy mumbled as she moved to the side to let her friend in. “Who would after a fight?”
Once settled on the couch, Levy went straight to the point before Lucy could even begin. “I already know what this is about. I know Natsu’s side, so start with yours.”
“Wow— okay, well—” Lucy pulled her legs up and tucked them underneath her body in a protective mode. “He tried to tell me to stop writing and I thought that was bullshit,” she said bluntly.
Levy’s brow raised. “Is that exactly what he said? To stop writing?”
“W-Well no, but that what he implied!”
“What did he say exactly?”
Lucy looked away, a scowl growing on her face and to hide the renewed moisture in her eyes. “He said I’m pushing everyone away.”
“And you don’t agree?”
“No! I’m not choosing my career over everyone! It’s ridiculous to even imply that I would!”
“Lu, do you still love your husband?”
“Of course, I love him!”
“Are you sure he knows you still love him?”
“I—” Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and sunk further into the couch mumbling. “I don’t see why he wouldn’t.”
“I can tell you, he doesn’t. Lu, you’ve pushed all of us away.”
“So, you’re taking his side?!”
“No. I’m giving you reality. You’ve been wrapped up in your fictional world so much that you’ve forgotten this one and the real people in it.”
“I—” Lucy turned away to hide the tears slowly starting to trickle down her face. “I never meant to…”
“I know…” Levy placed a hand on her friends leg. “Lu, we all know. He knows, but he’s hurting and it’s in your power to fix this.”
“But how?! I can’t just stop writing. I have deadlines and— you know, its a lot of work to put a story together.”
“You have to find a balance. Right?” Levy coaxed. “You have to take breaks. You have to relax sometimes. Natsu’s not asking you to stop, and he knows there will be times you really can’t stop. But it can’t be all the time, and right now it’s all the time.”
“I know…”
“Girl when was the last time you…” Levy wiggled her brows and grinned. “You know.”
Lucy blushed. “Too long.”
“Well?!” Levy laughed. “Are you finally getting our point?”
“Yeah,” Lucy sighed. “I got tunneled vision.”
Levy leaned in, adding pressured from the hand on Lucy’s leg and a softening in her voice. “And it put your marriage in jeopardy. But it’s not too late to fix it.”
The tears exploded from Lucy. “I told him… when he left, I-I told him don’t come back.” She buried her face in her hands as the sobbing took control. “I-I was screaming at him… so angry, I just lost it and—”
Levy pulled Lucy into a hug. “Shhh,” she held tight. “I’m sure he knew you didn’t mean it. Shh, it’s okay. Sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we’re mad. But you can still get him back, I’m certain of it.”
“H-how?!” Lucy sobbed into Levy’s shoulder. “He’s gotta be so mad at me!”
“Hun, Natsu’s more sad then mad. He needs to feel like you still love him.” Levy pulled away and cupped Lucy’s cheeks, staring, searching the woman’s eyes. “Can you tell him you love him?”
“I can tell him I love him,” Lucy sniffled.
“Then go tell him that!” She hugged her friend. “You’ll be okay Lu, you two are meant to last.”
“Thanks, Levy.”
“He’s at Gray’s right? Want me to drive you?”
“If you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” Levy smiled. “Now clean up a bit, I’ll wait in the car.”
The whole ride over to Gray’s house was the most nerve wracking experience in Lucy’s life. As she sat there huddled in Levy’s passenger seat, all the ways she could ever apologize tried to funnel through her head. She was a writer, and yet for the first time in a long time, all the words dried up or mashed together like a broken verse. Levy did her best to keep Lucy calm, reminding her that it’s all about being honest— just let your heart do the talking for once and not her head.
“You got this,” Levy patted Lucy’s shoulder before she exited the vehicle.
Lucy sure hoped she did. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Seconds ticked by and with each chime, all the weight and worry crept closer to sending her over. He was mad. Too mad. He probably won’t answer…
Finally someone did. “You came?” Natsu’s voice was soft and low, his eyes still bloodshot and worn.
“I came,” Lucy hung her head in shame. “I’m sorry— F-For everything, Natsu please come home, I miss you. I love you more than my job, and I’m gonna make it up to you.”
“You always say that Lucy…”
Ouch. Straight through her heart. The tears broke free again as her knees weakened, causing her to fall against him. Natsu caught her, and she clung to him, gripped to his shirt. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please come home! I love you! Natsu please come home! I can change! I promise I’ll change!”
That’s when she felt his hold truly tighten around her body and his head come to rest against her own. Lucy sobbed harder from the acceptance, pouring her heart in her words. “I love you… I love you so much, I’m so sorry….”
Natsu cradled her head and closed his eyes, voice soft with an upbeat to its tone. “Now there’s the woman I married.”
He held Lucy tightly until her sobbing slowed, eventually pulling away just enough to wipe the tear trails away. “Shall we go home now?”
Lucy nodded. “Please….”
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hello ! if ur requests are currently open, can i get headcanons / scenario of inarizakis manager having a celeb crush (like finn wolfhard, louis partridge ALSO if u can, can u please make the celeb crush louis patridge ? im kinda desperate for sum louis x reader scenarios lawl) and they let them simp for him cuz it's just a crush right ? right, what they don't know is that manager-chan has made some attempts for him (their celeb crush) to notice them and they have successfully made him notice them bc manager chan is such a charm, so what will be their reactions if they see manager chan holding hands with the celeb crush that they didn't worry ab ? thank u in advance if u do it ! but it's fine if ur requests aren't open,, i just didn't see any posts ab ur requests being closed hehe also sorry if i did this wrong 😭 this is my first time requesting sumthn 😭😭
Louis Patridge x Inarizaki manager
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Oh my goshhh hi bb. I'm so glad I was your first :D (yes, initially, requests were closed, unfortunately) but this was literally such a good one, I couldn't resist writing it. (I'm in love with Louis Patridge too, bubs)
Also, just a tip (if you're gonna request on anon, make sure you follow me, or have my profile saved because tumblr doesn't give you a notification when I've answered you 🥺🥺)
🦋; Inarizaki manager (reader) x Louis Patridge (celeb crush) x Inarizaki vbc ,, triggers: none!!
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“Guys. DID YOU WATCH ENOLA HOLMES?” your breathless face was red due to fact that you've ran a long way, obviously to tell them this.
Atsumu and Osamu nodded in unison, “Yea, that Millie Bobbi Brown chick acted prett' well”
Suna rolled his eyes. “Hated it. Only watched it for Superman, though.”
Kita shrugged, walked up to you, and shook his head as he smoothed your hair down (the stray curls obviously came undone as you were running). “I don't watch fictious movies, y/n-san. Was it good?”
Eyes sparkling, you nodded. “It was more than good. Besides, that actor, Louis Patridge? The guy who plays Lord Tewkesbury? I think I'm in love with him.” a dream-like look glazed over your eyes as you stared at your phone wallpaper wistfully.
Suddenly, the bell rang, jolting you back to reality. “Oh that's right, I need to go to class now.”, and with that, you left six very stunned boys in the gym.
“I wonder what'll be of her crush on that' actor?” asked Atsumu with a smirk. Don't be fooled though, behind the easygoing exterior, he was the most concerned of the lot (and the most jealous).
“Yer' overthinking it. They live oceans apart, and he plays movies on the big screen.” drawled Osamu.
“Yeah, I'm sure one of us still has more chance with her than him, she's actually met us, after all.” chirped Akagi, with a positive note. He was determined to win you over, and a celeb crush didn't deter him in any way.
Suna nodded, whilst Kita and Aran exchanged looks. “It's important to be supportive of her though. Albeit it being merely a schoolgirl crush, this could mean a lot to her.” said Kita, and his tone invited no further disagreement.
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Back at home that evening, thoughts of the handsome brown haired boy could not leave your mind, and you logged onto Instagram, hoping to see if he had posted any updates.
He had, and it was a selfie of himself, with his tousled hair in all its "I-just-got-out-of-bed" glory. Damn, this man was sexy.
Smiling, you typed out a comment. “No offense, but if being adorable was a crime, you'd have fine written all over you ˃ᴗ˂ ”. Yes, it was dorky, and cheesy all in one. But why not? He might not ever read it anyways, as your comment got swept underneath the hundreds of others that came after it.
Sighing, you settled down to study, with thoughts about the comment and Louis pushed out of your mind.
Meanwhile, as Louis scrolled through his comments, a single one caught his eye. She used a pickup line (how adorable) which caused his cheeks to redden. Tentatively, he surveyed her profile, before feeling the familiar sensation of having a crush, wash over him.
She was gorgeous, and although he knew he shouldn't stalk random pretty girls over the internet, he couldn't help himself. Her pictures showed her to be the manager of a club of some sort, and she was almost always posing with a teammate. A male, teammate.
But damn, that smile. Even if he felt a small pit of unfounded jealousy at the guys, her smile was enough to distract him from anything.
His fingers hovered over the "follow back" button, before he finally gave in to temptation by following her, commenting, and putting his phone away quickly, suddenly feeling like a schoolboy all over again.
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That morning, before school, you could barely believe the notifications waiting for you on your phone.
"louispatridge_ is following you"
"louispatridge_ commented: nah, if anyone's fine, it's gotta be you ˃ᴗ˂ "
Of course, after having seven mini panic attacks, and fawning over him, you set out to tell your boys at the volleyball club the good news.
And all you could think about on the way there was how Louis Patridge somehow noticed you. It was unbelievable, and somehow turned your insides to jelly.
As soon as you reached the gym, you flung yourself on Atsumu, engulfing him in a hug. “Guys I'm so happy” you managed to choke out.
Atsumu obviously enjoyed holding you, and he gently wrapped his arms around you to feel your heart beating quickly
“To what do we owe the pleasure of seeing you this early, y/n?” joked Aran.
Wordlessly, you dug into your pocket and pulled out your phone. “He thinks I'm fine. Fine means hot right? I mean, I used it meaning hot. Because he is hot. And he thinks the same of me, that's gotta be good? And the emoticon. He used the same one, he's so cu—”
But you were interrupted out of your whisper-babble by the boys' shocked faces. He noticed her? This fast? “I'm so happy for you, y/n” said Akagi cheerfully, but internally he was demotivated and sad at the prospect of you dating the young star.
Suna looked at you thoughtfully and ruffled your hair. “That's my girl. She's just as amazing and capable as those girls on the silver screen.” and although it pained him to say this, he just wanted to share your happiness.
The twins were withdrawn, and Kita congratulated you, whilst obviously feeling a bit regretful for dismissing it as a "schoolgirl crush".
In general, the boys were upset, but not surprised. If you had them all collectively whipped for you, why not a movie star?
After kissing Suna's cheek and waving the rest of the boys off, you skipped all the way to homeroom, excited to share the news with your friends.
Silence followed your absence as Aran shrugged. “So are we gonna acknowledge the elephant in the room?”
Atsumu pouted and glared at them all. “Why did he have to notice her? Was it her profile picture? I've always asked her to change it, she looks way too attractive.”
Osamu nodded and jutted his bottom lip. “I mean, we think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and apparently other guys do too.”
“Oh God make it stop” whispered Suna. “I wish she'd just stay ours. I don't mind competing with you guys, I'm obviously better, but that actor dude? No chance.”
“We'll be supportive” reaffirmed Kita. “Above all, she's out friend and we do not own her. If this makes her happy, we won't ruin it.”. Akagi and Aran were quiet.
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Ever since that day, you and Louis have been slowly but steadily growing closer and falling harder for each other.
He tried his luck by texting you, and although you were shy and tentative at first, getting to know the real him was refreshing.
And you really did like him. He was intelligent, adorable, and realistic. The two of you spent your time from dusk till' dawn talking, whether on call or on text.
And no one could deny the blossoming chemistry between yourself and Louis. He was a gentleman in every way, and his honeyed words stuck in your heart, finding its way to be replayed every time you felt down.
The boys slowly saw you drifting away. And when you weren't, it was always "Louis this—" or “Louis said—” and frankly their hearts couldn't take it anymore. It was time to give up, and love you as a friend instead.
But immersed in his attention you barely even noticed.
One day, Louis called you as you were heading home after practice. “y/n! Love, guess what?”
“aw bubs, just tell me. I hate guessing. Mostly because I suck at it.”
You could hear him chuckle on the other side of the line as he softly whispered “I'm coming to Japan on the ninth!”
“Wait, Louis. Today's the ninth.”
“I know. So are you gonna come to that bubble tea place you won't shut up about, or must I come get you?”
“You're joking”
“I'm not. I've wanted to surprise you, and I swear it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Which includes getting kicked by a horse on set, but nevermind about that, y/n, I want to see you, so get your arse here.”
“Coming, Lord Tewkesbury”
“I might have a kink.”
You blushed bright red at his words. “shut up oh my gosh, I'll be there.”
Louis ended the call with a small smile on his face. He knew how easily flustered you were with him and he loved it. It was just another thing on the list of all the reasons why Louis Patridge adored you to hell and back.
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The whole way to the shop, your heart was pounding. So you'd finally get to meet the guy you've been dreaming about ever since you laid eyes on him in a movie.
Ever since those late night phone calls and early morning texts made your heart race and eyes sparkle with wonder.
You were finally meeting him.
The familiar sweet smell of the tea washed over you, and a familiar face waited for you at the entrance. His brown eyes looked gorgeous in the sun and his hair was tousled exactly the way you once saw in a selfie.
Wasting no time, you ran to him, pulling him to a hug. He laughed and caught you in his arms, holding you closer as your legs wrapped around his waist. No words were exchanged, just touches. There were too many words said already.
After pulling away, he gently stroked his thumb through your features. Tucking a strand aside, ruffling your hair. His hands ached to touch you, and now, finally, he could.
“You're such a dork.” was all you could whisper, afraid speaking loudly would break the spell.
“Your dork. All yours.”
“Louis!” your voice went an octave higher as the familiar warm sensation came over your cheeks, painting them a delicate pink.
“Oh God, I've always wanted to see you blush. How can you be so adorable?? Oh God.”
You whined in protest, but frankly, you were too happy to be around him to care much at all.
Tipping your chin to face him, Louis Patridge did the one thing he dreamt of doing, ever since he stalked through your Instagram profile one fateful morning.
He kissed you.
And wouldn't you know it? You kissed him back. It was warm, comforting, and everything you thought it'd be.
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Meanwhile, the boys had finished cleaning up the gym, and started heading home.
“Hey guys, do you wanna go grab some bubble tea?” asked Aran. The prospect of food, or sweet things always cheered up the boys, and after a day of particularly grueling practice, it was no surprise they agreed at once.
You however, were comfortably nestled next to Louis as you swapped stories. Your hands never left each other, though. He kept stroking your palm, just to remind himself you were here, right next to him.
“So how's the volleyball club, Mrs. manager?”
“Mrs? Do I look like I'm married?” to which Louis responded with a shrug and wink.
Coincidentally, the Inarizaki boys entered the shop at that very moment, freezing in their tracks after seeing you in a booth with Louis.
“Psst. Guys. Loverboy's here.”
“Should we say hello?”
“I might cry if they kiss” whimpered Akagi.
“We need to say hello, it's the right thing to do.” said Kita sensibly, as he walked up to the two of you. “Hello y/n-san, Louis-san.” said Kita with a slight nod.
Happily, you rose from your seat and hugged the captain, thanking him for saying hi, as you introduced him to Louis.
Soon, the other boys came around and one by one, introduced themselves as well. Honestly speaking, they were jealous. How could they possibly get over someone like you? Someone as spectacular and beautiful as you? But when they saw you face shining with radiance as you smiled at Louis, and the way his hands never left yours, they understood.
And they wanted you to be happy. That was the most important thing, above all else for the both of them.
“I love you, manager-chan.”
245 notes · View notes
ghoulciifer · 4 years
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hi! if you’re not overwhelmed with anything else can you write headcanons of kirishima,bakugo and shinsou with a s/o whos quirk side effects is being dizzy and tired
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hc: Kirishima, Bakugo, and Shinsou with an S/O whose quirk has side effects of being dizzy/tired.
tw: none
tags: comfort, fluff
notes: hi bby, i am not overwhelmed by any means LOL my blog is still very small and i get an ask once in a blue moon but that’s my fault for not posting enough content ouchie. but ty for requesting!!! as always i really appreciate it when you guys let me know what content you want, and my inbox is always open to requests. n e ways, i hope you enjoy this n ily
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» so i think it is abundantly clear that kirishima is an absolute sweetheart, the BESt boy
» which means it’s no surprise that he’s super supportive and conscious of how your quirk affects you n your body
» when he saw you overuse your quirk for the first time during an extra long training session for the agency you both worked for (before you two started dating), he damn near passed out himself
» bby boy RAN to your side and held you up by your shoulders, leaning down to meet your drooping eyes, his own blown wide open in concern
» “y/n??? you okay??? did something happen??? are you hurt??? do i need to-“
» he’s just a golden retriever istg
» but once your head finally started clearing up you assured him that you’re fine, it’s just a side effect of your quirk
» and you could practically see the worry leaving his body as he visibly relaxed, his hold on you loosening just a bit but never going away (bc he’s lowkey still worried)
» if you’re feeling embarrassed bc of it he’ll reassure you that it happens, you’re still badass and he admires you AWE
» now that you two are together and have been with each other for a while, he knows what to expect and how to handle the situation when it occurs
» knows your limits and when you’ve met them, instantly at your side to support your frail body, bringing you water or a snack for the fatigue so you can build your energy up, supportive boyfie things
» “Do you want the granola bar or the yogurt??? Or I can cut up some fruit!!! I have juice and an extra water bottle and-“
» always tells you how great of a job you’re doing, regardless if you’re upset or not because he just likes to remind you
» i wasn’t lying when i said he is the SWEETEST boy
» he also doesn’t really know if it helps but he always hums while he’s rubbing your back, pushing your head to his chest or shoulder after sitting you down to recuperate
» little does he know that it actually kinda does bc hearing the vibrations through his strong chest really keep you grounded
» wow you are a simp for this dude it’s ok me too uwu
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» now this firecracker
» he wouldn’t show his initial concern as expressive as kiri would, but he would definitely panic internally on the same level (if not more tbh, fuckin’ tsundere)
» you two are sparring for shits and giggles, right
» and as you expected he already told you beforehand that he will NOT go easy on your just bc you’re his s/o maybe a lil’ tho bc ur cute
» plus he’s never seen you in combat before because you try to keep heroing out of the relationship so you can just focus on each other when you’re together (this friendly fight is the ONLY exception)
» what you didn’t account for was just how much energy he was making you use, it literally felt like you whole body was going to give out by the end of the match
» you were so close to pinning him down when your body suddenly collapsed and you passed out from fatigue
» he didn’t go into full on panic mode but he definitely went wide eyes and eyed you for a bit before kneeling beside you (boy KNOWS he didn’t fuckin’ kill you, he has control believe it or not)
» and internally he’s all ASHSGSJAFSK WHAT
» so he cautiously pulls you into his arms from the ground and into his chest, arms wrapped around your frame to give you support for when you regain consciousness, calling your name a few times to speed up the process
» he also holds you like this so he knows your breathing (again, he knows he didn’t kill you but just to be sure??)
» when you wake up finally he asks if you’re alright, voice much softer than usual so he doesn’t make the ache in your head worse
» you shyly tell him about the side effects of your quirk upon request and he grunts in response, still cradling your head to his chest with a thumb lightly rubbing against your spine
» “...well damn babe, you’re strong as hell for holding out that long. I thought that fight was never going to fuckin’ end.”
» that’s just his special way of telling you he’s impressed w your abilities and limits, uwu
» now he makes a point to ask if you had any dizzy spells or moments of fatigue during the day when you come home from patrol, just to make sure you were still feeling okay (bc he wouldn’t be opposed to holding you again)
» never admits it but he’s the one who sneaks an extra energy bar in your work duffel before you leave for the day c:
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» i might go overboard on this one because shinsou is my BOI, i love this lil’ sleepy head so fn much
» and one of the main reasons why is bc he’s very caring and understanding n will show you that if you’re close enough to him
» which you are bc you’re his s/o, duh lucky bitch >:(
» you got to see this side of him first hand when he saw how your quirk affects you when you push a lil’ too hard
» you were at home, hanging out with your fav boy after a particularly hard day at work, shinsou rubbing your legs that were draped over his lap affectionately
» he could tell you were exhausted but he just figured it was from all the hero work, my guy is v familiar with that feeling
» he did notice you were much quieter than normal bc usually the vacant air was filled with you talking about your day, laughing at his witty jokes, making fun of your mutual friends’ decisions to post certain things on social media i’m lookin’ at you denki
» but again, he just pinned it on your experience with work today so he just sat there massaging your shins while you rested
» eventually you had the impending pressure of needing to pee press uncomfortably on your bladder and the longer you ignored it, the more you realized how close you were to pissing yourself
» so you hoisted yourself off the couch with a groan and the second you stood up, you immediately saw stars and it felt like the world around you was turning at mach fuckin’ 20
» Shinsou (being the perceptive bean he is) immediately had hands around your waist the second you began to sway and reach for anything around you to stabilize, that thing being his arm
» “Woah, woah, woah, easy... you okay, baby?”
» You couldn’t see (yk bc you were literally about to fall over) but the way his brows furrowed upward and his eyes glazing with concern would’ve made your heart go doki doki
» You squeezed your fingers against your temples and kept your eyes closed while you assured him you were fine, it happens, you just overexerted yourself with your quirk today
» He helped you lean against the side of the couch and rubbed your shoulders, standing on his knee on the cushions behind you, muttering sweet things in between your slow inhale and exhale exercises
» tried to sit you down again but you still had to peE
» “Do I need to walk you to the bathroom? Hold your hand while you go?”
» “You are NOT holding my hand while I pee, ‘Toshi.”
» You were ok after a while and successfully made your bathroom trip, but that day he made a mental note to keep an eye out for the signs he wrote off earlier
» On those days he always offers you massages, a cute lil’ cuddle sesh, snacks, even urges you to sit in his lap so he can play with YOUR hair for once boy is selfish when it comes to head scratches
» And will proceed to whisper sweet nothings into your ear during all of the above <3
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Prelude - Awaiting
The Masters witness the rising of a seemingly unbreakable wall. Surely, with this -- they find themselves prepared for what lay just beyond.
A Saber watches from beyond -- knowing a rebellion is close.
The crown does not so easily fall.
...The cave's lights slowly faded. Within the fires that spread across the ground, the Wicker Man fell -- and the blue Caster smiled. "...Nice work. That's your Noble Phantasm." "...My..?" The Shielder's eyes widened, lowering her shield as the Caster waved in the rest of our group. Kagekiyo proved to be the first there, followed shortly after by Olga Marie -- then, our other Caster, who ran in as best he could. "What was its name?! Mash, did you remember?" Olga naturally wasted not a moment before peppering Mash with questions, the latter taking a step back to get a bit of breathing room so she could even think of a response. "I-I don't know! I don't really have any idea what my Noble Phantasm's name is, but..." "--Then why not give it a name?" The blue Caster cut in, tapping Olga lightly on the head with his staff. Plonk. "If it means the same to you, it'll probably work," he continued, "though probably not as well as it could be." "A name..." The young girl glanced to one side, furrowing her brow in thought. Olga opened her mouth, but was interrupted just as quickly with another plonk. "...Why not... Lord Chaldeas? If I'm going to be protecting Chaldea, then..." "Lord Chaldeas it is." The blue Caster pulled his staff back with a smile, the bottom making impact with the ground beneath. "With what I just saw, we might just stand a chance. If we keep down this tunnel, we should be free to get to Saber. She's been standing there for some time, now -- my bet's that she's still there." Ritsuka gritted their teeth, but only nodded to the Caster. "Mash -- let's go. Stay on guard, too. We don't know what's going to happen." "Right, Senpai." Taking the initiative, Mash moved just in front of Ritsuka -- the latter taking my arm and pulling me beside them, with Kagekiyo following suit. "Cadence, stay behind Mash." "I was already planning on it, rest assured." My answer seemed to be enough to placate the Master, their shoulders relaxing. "...So, we just keep going through this tunnel?" "Yeah. We're too far away for Saber to notice us, so we got lucky with this safe ground. Just keep a gentle step, and we'll be fine." ...After that, a period of silence overwhelmed us, as we followed the blue Caster's lead. One foot in front of the other -- on a path down to this 'Saber.' A being so strong that everyone around her would fear her -- a being that made even someone like Ritsuka doubt themselves in an instant. I'd have wondered, 'what kind of person is this Saber?' -- --but the beam fired down the cave, tearing the Caster to shreds before our eyes, answered the question in a moment. -- 'They're approaching.' A new ally. Allies, to the Caster. 'I thought they'd have died in the mess of Shadow Servants.' Allies do that to you. They keep you alive. The blade in my hands ground itself into the dust-covered dirt beneath me. I spin it carefully with my hand -- to relieve the stress. 'They're smarter than I took them for. No wonder they're a Caster.' And no doubt they'd be looking for me. For the one who helps hold this world together. But when would they arrive -- would they ever arrive?' [Yes.] The voice. The voice resounding in my head. It reads to me of stories I had never yet heard of. It reads to me a kingdom I have never yet heard of. A perfect world, that comes only with the incineration of humanity. Of black stars that hang in the heavens, where the shadows of men's thoughts lengthen in the afternoon. [Eleven o'clock. You will strike true, the most important of them all.] Their voice, like a horrible ringing in my head, yet every word was clear and succinct. 'I understand.' A better kingdom awaited, if I fired this blow. My blade, risen to the stars, and my voice, spilling from my throat. 'Iron hammer of the hollow king. Turnover/Reverse/Overturn/Change the aurora.' A black light, the opposite, sucked it all in. My eyes settled upon the tunnel. 'Swallow the light -- Promised blade of victory, Excalibur Morgan!' -- Could anything have remained from a strike like that?
A shimmering blue wall was arisen, blocking off the remnants of the dark, all-consuming beam that had just previous threatened to devour us all. But the blue Caster -- ... ...Within the fires, the orange-red lights around us, even the remaining bloodstain couldn't be seen at all. All that remained, the wooden staff the man used, was broken -- ashed, charred, turned a sharp black and shattered into four separate pieces. As the blue light faded, I took care to collect these pieces -- ...Rather, my body. Even trying to pull myself back, respecting what remained, my body moved on its own, and picked up the leftover top of the staff. As it were, I were choking. The smoke, the smell of charred corpse and boiling blood as golden light enveloped and dispersed what remained, had me only moments away from falling to my knees and suffocating. There was no romantics to it -- hardly even a last word. The Caster was simply gone -- evaporated. Erased from this tunnel as though he were never there to begin with. I found myself only stopped by a hand upon my shoulder -- turning around, I found the eyes of another Master staring back at me. Panicked footsteps could be heard about me, but not something I could understand, or listen to. Mildly widened eyes, their body shaking -- but the soft smile remaining. "...It'll be okay, Cadence. He's a Servant -- he's not dead." ... ...They pushed me forwards past it. Past the Caster -- what remained. "...Just don't think about it. Keep moving. If we stop for too long, we're going to be dead, too."
'Keep moving.' I found my mind repeating those words -- latching onto them. The blood on the ground-- 'Keep moving.' --The piece of his staff, rattling in my pocket-- 'Keep moving.' ...That was all I could do. Claws wrapped around my throat, and every second I spent not walking was a second they could wrap fully around my throat -- and cause my legs to crumple, and my eyes to shut. 'Keep moving.' Surely, my cheeks were growing damp again. My eyes felt as though they were burning in the heat -- my teeth gritting. "Keep moving." Encouragement, whispered in my ear -- and, suddenly, another hand on my shoulder. ... Even not looking over to see who was there, the grip on my shoulder was firm -- stronger than Ritsuka's previous. Kagekiyo, surely, was there -- even if they would hardly care of my struggle, being a Genji-killer, they still remained. ...One step, in front of the other. One step, in front of the other, until the environment cleared. Before us -- a blonde woman, in a stark black dress. Red streaks laced the blade she held in one hand, and the mask covering her face, her eyes. She spoke not a word, only stepping forward. Raising her blade, yelling something loud yet inconceivable -- but suddenly, slamming her blade down, and being blocked by -- "Genji. Your orders, Master." The woman's blade struggled, caught between the blades of the Avenger -- forcibly pushing upwards, to catch the knight off balance, only to have their next strike blocked by the woman. The chaos, the flurry, was sudden and immediate -- and yet again, I found myself knowing that any order to retreat would be promptly and succinctly ignored. And yet, could we retreat? We had nowhere to return to, not until this woman -- and whatever lay after -- were defeated. We had nowhere to hide, for that beam she fired would reduce us to ashes, like the Caster before us. Behind us was nothing but death. In front of us lay death, with a light of hope behind it. ...The Caster wanted her gone. "...Master." The words of the Avenger broke my train of thought. "Do you want to get revenge on the Genji, Master?" '...And what other choice would I have?' 'What other choice would I have but to fight?' There was something, running through my veins. Placing it was impossible -- it was more, further, than fear. The beast clasped its claws around my neck, pulled down as hard as it could, but there was no longer anywhere to fall. It was either I lay down and die -- or make the Caster's work worth it, short though it was, and fight. ...My ring, settled on my finger, shimmered at once -- draining something of me. The blade the Saber blocked so eloquently, now made them begin to shake -- made their defences begin to fail. "...If this is the Genji, then they won't live through this. Avenger -- fight! Ritsuka, provide backup by any means necessary!" My eyes moved to the Master beside me, who widened their eyes as they looked into mine -- before grinning, and stepping forward, Mash running forward in tow. Behind her, the Caster we had remaining shook off some droplets from his head, and stepped forward -- raising his hands, clapping them together. "Master! I... I can provide backup support, but I'm going to need a moment! Please protect me!" The young boy called out to Ritsuka, who gasped slightly -- but, their gaze toughening, they nodded and glanced to me. "You heard the kid." "Right!" At the scene of the fight, the Saber's defence broke -- the woman jumping backwards to avoid the frantic, crazed slices of Kagekiyo before her. "--Entering combat!" But one wrong step to the right led the Saber directly into the path of Mash, whose shield proved a small bit more difficult to block thanks to its blunt force. The Shielder, giving all of her strength, leapt forward and swiped leftwards with the broad end of her shield, sending the Saber flying backwards; landing on her feet only by miracle, steadying herself with a hand.
Kagekiyo, in turn, leapt to the left, then directly forwards -- with a slash forwards, only blocked barely by the Saber's blade, she used the other to strike at the Saber's good arm. "--?!" Yet, swordplay only proved so useful when the Saber was willing to punch you directly in the face. Sending the Avenger back some distance, Mash ran in only just in time to shield them from a forward slash courtesy of the Saber. Yet, each noticed they were now listening to a chant. "There once was a couple whose child's name meant 'limitless life--'" The Avenger's blade faltered, a moment, but Mash's defence gave her enough time to recover. "Lasting twenty billion years, blessed by the sea, the fish--" "A chant. So this is your plan." The Saber changed courses -- setting eyes on the child, running towards them. Yet, the Avenger blocked their advance with another onslaught, their face stained with a wide and crazed grin. "If we can't beat you fairly, Genji, we will have to improvise. Given your attack on the man before, that's only fair." "And in the waters, or the clouds, or in the wind--" "You may try, fool." Blades clashed, came together, came apart -- one blackened blade, deflecting and clashing against two thin curved blades, the snarls of Avenger and Saber alike clouding the air about as the Shielder positioned herself in front of the Caster. "--with a home where there is food and a place to sleep--" The three clashing blades came apart, the Avenger now beginning to laugh, as the Saber gritted her teeth. The Avenger before her knew full well what would occur if the Saber had any breathing room -- that beam would destroy them all. And yet-- "Iron hammer of the hollow king. Overturn the aurora." ...She would try, anyways. But wasn't that what Kagekiyo could fight best? For Kagekiyo would never die. "...The everyday, now, is simply a dream." "--and the energy of the Yabukouji, with longetivity like King Shuuringan of Paipo--" The temperature spiked -- a buzzing, eternally hearable in my head. As though something were being supplanted for something else -- a backdoor opening in my mind. Yet, too, the light itself began to shake, as Saber rose her blade. "...Yes -- everything in this world, all the Genji reaches, must burn!" "--and longetivity like his wife, Guurindai, and their children Ponpokopii and Ponpokonaa's--" The temperature rises. There's a screaming in my head. There's two suns -- two suns setting behind the lakes-- "After all this time, I finally have my shot!" "SWALLOW THE LIGHT!" "--Long lived fortune!" ...
...Everyone could hear the buzzing in their minds. I knew it from the looks in their eyes -- their halted breaths. All around us froze -- the temperature, threatening to boil us alive, the light itself flickering, being consumed. But the boy remained. "...Do you want to know my name?" ...There's a screaming in my mind -- their minds. 'Listen.' 'Listen.'
'Listen.'
'Listen.'
"So be it." The young boy approached the Saber, calmly -- past the fire, the sure temperatures of Kagekiyo's blade, and past the shield of Mash that kept us all safe. "...My name is Jugemu. To be specific..." "Jugemu-Jugemu Goko-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonaa-no Chokyuumei-no Chosuke." 'Listen.' 'Listen.' 'Speak.' "Jugemu-Jugemu Goko-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonaa-no Chokyuumei-no Chosuke..?!" The words fell out of Saber's mouth before she could think -- the light suddenly shaking, and faltering, and coming to an end. 'Listen.' My very muscles halted. I could barely even will myself to breathe beyond a quiet, quiet breath. 'His name..? J--' 'Speak.' His name-- Suddenly, I found this urge. This urge deep within me. A spike drilling a hole into my head. I could hear it, burrowing deep into my mind. Like a drill, like a syringe, to extract my brain itself.
'Speak.'
With each repetition of the screaming voice's command, it grew harder to ignore. And the words came tumbling out. "Jugemu-Jugemu Goko-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonaa-no Chokyuumei-no Chosuke..?! That's your true name..?!" I screamed it without meaning to. I covered my mouth -- I tried to -- but my body no longer responded. "That's who we summoned..?! We summoned Jugemu-Jugemu Goko-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonaa-no Chokyuumei-no Chosuke..?!" Ritsuka fell, faltered, their words sputtering out as though it were a chant. Their eyes shuddered where they stood, their mouth twitching as though withholding some horrible scream.
'Listen.' The Saber, however, became the first to scream. She fell to her knees - she tried to -- but it was hardly enough. "This... This... This Jugemu-Jugemu Goko-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonaa-no Chokyuumei-no Chosuke..?! You..! I know you, you..!" The child grinned -- his eyes widening, gaze sharpening, before he broke into laughter. A mist formed around his feet, as he placed a hand to the face of the Avenger. "You..! Avenger, who knows my tale. Finish off this maddened woman." 'Listen.' The Avenger only responded with a grin -- stepping forward, as though their muscles now returned to normal in a moment. "...Yes... After all this time, as I was saying -- I finally have my shot." Their mask cracked, and shattered -- and the 'Kagekiyo' separated. Thousands of them, surrounding the Saber. Perhaps the Saber had already broken, her mind already endlessly repeating the name of the Caster. Perhaps there was a tiny, tiny bit of sanity that remained in the dead eyes, the kneeling physique, of the Saber whose body broke -- and whose mind seemed destroyed. But, unable to speak -- all she could now do was listen.
"Shogyomujo -- Joshahissui!"
And in that moment-- --a technique most indescribable, a Servant whose powers were impossible to understand-- --nothing could have prepared the Saber to survive the strike that followed the madness.
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yelenasdog · 3 years
Text
hurricane (brian may x fem reader)
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request by the wonderful @speciallyred w prompts 45 and 58 from this prompt list! i was super nervous to write this bc i love her writing but i hope u enjoy!!
genre: per request of anna, angsty! but it ends w some fluff to mend ur broken heart hehe
summary: he’s never home, and neither is she. he can’t communicate, and she just wants to be loved.
words: 1.5k this was supposed to b a drabble OOPS
warnings: crying, sadness, mentions of marriage+kids, mentions and accusations of cheating, i think that’s it but as always, lmk if i missed any!
a/n: ok so a. y/n wasn’t used so if u wanted this do bri x some other female or oc that would work, and b. i also didn’t use anything that would keep this from being able to be read as a gwil!bri fic :) mwah (also i just realized this but this could totally be a song fic for i want love by elton john ok bye luv u)
 ⭑ 🎸
It was deathly silent in the spacious former home of Brian and his beloved, that had now been reduced to only a house. The ticking of the grandfather clock he had insisted that they had to have when they moved in could be heard ringing out and echoing, pestering the girl to no end.
It was always quiet in their house, even when they fought. There was never a rushed bustle of children you had to get out the door to school, and not even a cat or dog to create a disruptive chaos as they ran about, muddy paws leaving marks on the floor.
There would be the occasional record playing lowly, the notes floating about the house, and sometimes if she couldn’t sleep, she would have Bri play her a soft tune on his old acoustic, his voice having no issue bringing her to rest.
But even now, during one of the most heart wrenching fights that the pair had gone through, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop on the hardwood flooring.
As Brian was a soft and gentle man, never yelling or raising his voice in the slightest. He wasn’t mean or cruel, in fact, his entire aura calmed her to no end, which is why she supposed she hated this so much.
She scanned with careful eyes over his silhouette, watching as stray curls rustled from the draft coming in from the open window, goosebumps raising on both of their exposed arms.
“What are you looking at?”
“Just you, Bri.”
He rolled his eyes from where he sat on the white sofa, moving his fist under his chin. A scoff fell from his rosy lips as he turned his head to look out the window, not actually paying any mind to the green hills, a light frost covering the entire landscape.
“So are you just going to ignore me?”
“I’m not ignoring you.”
A salty tear rolled down her face, the incoming breeze hitting her dampened face. She inhaled sharply, her chilled skin becoming slimy and cold to the touch.
Brian wouldn’t know that, though, he hadn’t touched her in days. Weeks, even.
She had wanted to say that his words were malicious, with venom dripping from his tone, like some sort of acid was coating his vocal cords.
But they weren’t. His voice never raised a damn octave, staying completely neutral. And it was driving her mad.
“Then what is this, Brian?”
“I’m collecting my thoughts.”
She laughed, the sound lacking its usual melodic intonation that the guitarist adored so much. He was the reasoning behind the dry chuckle, that much he knew, and he hated it. God, how he despised it. But, he would never let it show. How could he, when he was the initiator of the (extremely childish, now that he thought over it) conflict to begin with? He knew his accusation was emptier than the large building they resided in, and he knew that the results would be horrendous.
But jealousy was an ugly green parasite that had rooted itself in Brian May’s heart, slowly consuming him from the inside out. It was like a devil that rested on his left shoulder, insisting that she was unfaithful, taking advantage of his extended leaves. He foolishly acted on the devil’s words, which led to where they were now.
“Well, how long do you need to ‘collect your thoughts’?” She folded her leg under her opposite thigh, leaning towards him, the distance of only a few feet feeling like worlds away to her broken heart. She would always be drawn to him like some sort of magnet, no matter how badly he hurt her.
“I’m not sure, would you like me to do so elsewhere?”
A beat passed.
“Why, so you can go shag someone else, just like I apparently have been?”
Again, silence.
“You were gone for 3 hours every night on every Tuesday the past month-“
“You kept track? You’re out of your damn mind.” She raised her voice, sitting up, suddenly enraged with his obsessive distrust rather than saddened.
“That’s not important-“
“What’s important is that you’re gone on tour for 10 times as long as that, leaving me here completely alone to my own devices! I trust you enough to believe that you remain mine while you’re away, but for some unknown reason, you can’t manage to think the same about me.”
His flippancy on the issue at hand agitated her (or his lack thereof in general, she supposed) to no end. She wanted him to scream and cry, to throw something, to loudly shout, to shed fury fueled tears as she had. She knew it was wrong, but quite frankly she didn’t care.
He tried to speak up for himself, stuttering out something about how he did in fact trust her, but all to no avail. She would have none of it, not now.
“What’s important, Brian, is that every Tuesday, I’m staying 3 hours after work to try to make it so that I don’t have to rely on you for money, because I don’t want you to think even for a moment I’m with you just because you’re some incredibly famous rockstar who happens to be loaded!”
She was standing now, although she couldn't quite remember bringing her body from the comforts of the soft chair by the mantle to her feet. The roaring fire beside her had died down into a flurry of golden embers, heat still radiating from the pile of charred logs, Brian failing to provide even a fraction of the same warmth.
“Because I love you, and as of late, I’m starting to wonder if you love me too.”
He stood, walking over to where she was in a timely manner, his long legs carrying him quickly. Her breath hitched at their sudden proximity, her surprise only growing when he gripped his hands on either side of her face, pulling her forward and capturing her lips in a long awaited union.
She loathed that her stiff figure was melting into him faster than she would like to admit, and she even more, she loathed the fact she knew she always would.
He was able to taste her tears that hadn’t ceased to roll down her face, the bitter droplets seeping onto the tip of his tongue. He pulled away, his right hand caressing her cheekbone while his forehead rested upon hers. His bottom lip quivered, a wave of emotions hitting him like a hurricane in full force.
His eyes become glassy, and all at once, tears flood his eyesight, pouring down his flushed features. He looked down, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. The bawling didn’t stop as he had hoped, though, it just slowed, the liquid dropping onto her shirt.
“I love you, I love you so much that it hurts. And ’m sorry, I’m so incredibly sorry, darling.”
She smiled softly, lightly massaging the top of his scalp, his locks growing frizzy.
“I know. But it’s just so hard- It seems everyone is getting married, and settling down. Hell, even Fred has his cats.”
They both laughed, and she chewed her bottom lip, a habit of hers that Bri had picked up on in the time he’d known her.
“I just get lonely, Bri, and it feels like you never let me know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. That’s all, honest to God.”
They moved to sit down, and he pulled closer than they had been in ages.
“I’ll support you in any way shape or form, no matter what, yeah?”
She simply nodded, leaning onto his shoulder.
“Yeah. I know.”
Raising his eyebrows, he cocked his head, choosing his next words carefully.
“And if you’re serious about, y’know, having a family and ‘settling down’ and everything, I’ll do it.”
She met his eyes, her smile growing wider.
“Really?”
He hummed, nodding his head. “I love you, and this house is far too quiet.”
She giggled, tossing her arms around his neck and throwing herself on him.
“I must say I agree.”
After the grins had retreated into soft smiles, and the two had come to a much more stolid point, she sat up, patting her lap.
Brian understood immediately, laying his tired head down and allowing her to play with his hair. She moved her hands to oh so lightly trace the crook of his nose and the bags under his eyes (from the late nights he spent performing, wishing he was in the exact position he was in now), the ticklish feeling making him nuzzle into her hand with a whine.
She couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful boy beneath her, as even with all the work that there was to be done between them, she felt confident that he was in it for the long haul.
🦔⭑ 🎸
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me @ u for reading that
ty for reading, like and rb if u wanna :) go drink some water and eat some protein if u can!
as always, xx hj <3
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myelocin · 4 years
Text
Diver | Miya Atsumu
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Synopsis: For you, decisions have always resulted in one, then two, then twenty steps back from the jump you know you want to take, but never find the courage to do so. Miya Atsumu was one of those decisions, and it baffles you how he makes the edge seem so inviting.
Characters: Miya Atsumu, You
Warnings/Tags/Genre: Self reflection, Slice of Life, Fluff (atsumu is cute lmao), Mentions of sitting on a cliff, Friendship w Bo!!  Pining!Atsumu, hard to get reader when irl ur just confused , more sky references are surprised? no
WC: 4.6k+
a/n: this was purely based on my desire to explore atsumu and the y/n i headcanon’s character more. this is also to those who struggle to decide which risks are actually worth taking.  (atm this is not edited bc im just gonna do that tomorrow lol)
playlist: Hello by Elijah Who
++note: please click keep reading bc whole thing is posted!
-
You remember standing at the edge of the cliff and thinking about how big and beautiful the world looked at age seven. You think back to the words your grandfather tells you when he sits on the ground next to you and begins to tell the familiar tale of the boy who lived life too scared to leap. You don’t think it was a true story; some elements changed every other time the same story was retold but you listened with rapt attention either way.
Every summer when you visited your grandfather in that little house by the cliff hours away from the rush the city brought, more than half of your days were spent sitting by the edge watching the clouds chase and envelop one another. You’d watch as the blue moved into gold, then orange, then red, then back to blue—and finally dive into black. There was never a day where the chase looked exactly the same.
At nine, you still thought the world looked too vast and beautiful and now you think it was because there was still so much you didn’t know. At sixteen, you remembered seeing more streaks of pink along the horizon in the distance but when you look back at the photos now—it was still really just swirls of red and kisses of orange. Maybe that was the summer you first felt love, because the world you saw in those days were through the rose colored lenses that only you wore.
When your grandfather would ask you why you preferred to sit out by the edge instead of run in the field with the kids you knew nearby you only shrugged and said you didn’t want to miss the stories in the sky later that day. Some days, he’d sit next to you and you’d listen to the story of the boy who never leaped again, but during the last few years of his life when he became too frail for the world, he’d only ruffle your hair and go back inside the house.
There wasn’t a particular reason either; no dramatics that told a heartfelt backstory towards your infatuation with the sky, or a long spill about how you love letting the sounds of the waves crashing silence your thoughts—it was quite the opposite, really. Even when your first love told you it wasn’t working out and you spent the entire evening and the next crying over a story ended, you still sat and watched the colors changing with the expression of wonder that stayed constant since you were a child.
“I still care for you,” you remember him saying and his voice clear in your head doesn’t fight over the sounds of the waves crashing on jagged boulders below.
“—we’re just not meant for each other,” he says again but you don’t feel the need to look away from the sky because the sun’s beginning to dip into the horizon and the violets are starting to paint swirls in the sky.
“I don’t think I ever loved you, (y/n),” you hear along with the cry of a seagull somewhere on your left but you only let out the sigh you’ve held in when the show is over and the black curtains cover the sky. You remember closing your eyes to try to search for that twinge of pain you always read about when your first love is over. But, when you breathe in, you only hear the water below roar. When you breathe out, you hear your grandfather’s call from the house behind you.
That night when you stood up to leave, you dusted the dirt off of your pants and stepped closer to the edge; you weren’t going to jump but you wanted to step into that line of uncertainty to feel that rush.
The feeling you always get when you’re tipping your seat back and you let your fingers graze off of the table you’re supporting yourself with—and you’re dipping into the territory of whether you’ll fall forward or backward. Whether the fall either ways could mean good, or bad.
“Can’t we work this out?” is what you knew you wanted to try to say in the moment he turned his back. And then the first step towards him became one, then two, then three—before your hand stopped short of grabbing his shoulder because you realize you don’t want to say it.
Maybe because you were sixteen and the chemistry test you had to take next period was a more important thought than this, or maybe because this was the kind of puppy love where it as quick as it started—so you didn’t want to tarnish the final chapters with an ugly fight. But, really, you began to think, as your hand curled back into a fist and you watched him with dry eyes turn the corner and disappear, you just don’t have a reason to want to work it out.
So then as the bell rang, you turned to take a step that went from one, to two, to three, four—and then eventually six steps back.
Six steps away from the edge where you let yourself be dangled by uncertainty.
-
The strange part is you don’t remember what began shifting afterwards; when you lost sight of the horizon you spent years losing yet finding yourself in all at once.
After that night, for the years that led up to now it felt like there was never a balance when it came the climax of your decision making. Every time the atmosphere tensed and you feel your gut twist with the pressure of the outcome, your brain is suddenly creating loopholes to mend the situation and your body is already in motion—every single time moving one, to two, to twenty steps away from the drop. That way, you could rock your heels to the side or tip the back of your chair as far back as possible without the need to pull back because you know the steady ground would always break your fall.
You weren’t sure if you necessarily enjoyed it but the cliff by your grandfather’s house doesn’t look the same anymore. This time, you’re sitting in a chair on the porch, a heavy distance away from the pull of gravity down below. Because it’s safe, you reason, but the horizon from your spot doesn’t look quite the same. Peering at the strokes of colors in the 6pm sky through cracks in the porch’s rooftop makes the world feel so little.  You hear the sound of the TV running inside the house instead of the water roaring below and you know it isn’t the same.
But when the sun peeks in finality before diving the world into dark, you stand at the edge of the porch like you did at the edge of the cliff so many times before.
One foot hovering over the ground below and you know your balance is tipping, but you don’t feel anything. There isn’t a hitch in your breath and the feeling of weightlessness and heaviness simultaneously nipping at your skin.
You sigh in blankness as you thrust your body forward and let yourself dive. Before you even leap you already feel the ground beneath your feet.
The ground is only two feet below you. 
-
In your mid-twenties, Miya Atsumu came into your life in a whirlwind of laughter and expressions.
He wasn’t really that spectacular. Sure, Atsumu could twirl a pencil like the honor roll kids as well as he could land a service ace, but that was kind of it.
How the two of you became close friends was always a wonder to you as well. You knew his twin brother—Osamu, after frequenting his onigiri shop every day for lunch, but your interactions with him were mostly limited to the “hi”, “how are you”, “thanks”, and “goodbye”.
Atsumu was, well, interesting to talk to because of all the expressions that substituted some verbal cues in the conversation.
It took getting to know him for about a year and joining him in the last minute road trips he pulled with you to realize how much Atsumu embodied uncertainty.
He was like the push and the pull of the wind when you’re standing at that edge again. Like somewhere between the moments of unfiltered fear from plunging down into the ocean you know you can’t swim in, and that step back of reasoning that tells you a two more steps further means two more steps safer.
He was neither of those, but at the same time, made you feel the magnitude of both simultaneously. Atsumu, to you, was the cliff, the rocking wind, the steady ground, and the plunge below.
And it was frustrating because you couldn’t read him at all.
-
When he asked you one day if you wanted to join him for dinner, this time, just the two of you while the apples of his cheek blushed a visible shade of red despite the dimmed lighting of the sky—you felt your gut churn in uncertainty.
For a while you’ve felt he wanted to push the boundaries of your friendship into a territory more unknown to the both of you, but you thought it would just stop at the experimental prodding. You weren’t blind. You felt how his eyes would trail your profile when he thought your attention was too engrossed in a book, knew that the unmarked box of chocolates were from him because he wasn’t subtle in hiding the special instructions written on the bottom of the box. You saw the triumphant spark in his eye when you told him the gift he gave you on your birthday was exactly what you wanted even if he just shrugged and said he guessed lucky.
And that’s the thing—Atsumu was painfully obvious. He wasn’t explicit about his intentions—he was just obvious; you know he wasn’t dumb enough to leave all these hints and expect you to still not know so that frustrated you even further. Did he want you to find out? Did you want to find out?
“Do ya think you wanna get some dinner tonight?” he quips beside you, “—just us two?” he adds, finishing awkwardly as you two come to a halt in front of the train station.
You think about his offer; you really do. The feeling in your gut doesn’t go away and your left foot is subconsciously rocking backwards. One step back.
“Maybe next time,” you hear yourself say. Atsumu’s deflating in front of you and his right hand rests on the back of his head while he shoves the left into the pocket of his jeans.
Two steps, “I’d love to—“ you continue, “but I may miss the last train and I don’t really wanna take a taxi tonight.”
Atsumu’s nodding his head saying, “Of course! Of course. Yeah, definitely. Next time!” And in a way you’re thankful he doesn’t mention the fact that he could always drive you back instead of letting you take a taxi.
Three steps, as you wave at him from the top steps of the station’s exit.
Four steps, “For sure next time!” you call out as he waves at your retreating figure with a smile. Neither of you really have faith on when next time will be, nor were sure if either of you believed it in the first place.
It’s when the train doors close and you’re holding on the railing where it dawns on you that you just took about 20 more steps back.
-
Two weeks after Atsumu’s offer of a dinner date was when Bokuto comes to you to say that he understands why you rejected the offer.
“You and him are just too different from each other,” he says like he made a profound discovery and not like he’s commenting on your love life.
“Aren’t opposites supposed to attract?” you ask.
“Not all the time,” Bokuto answers almost immediately and you nod your head choosing to not expand on the topic while your mind begins to whirl at his words.
On the bright side, you were glad neither you nor Atsumu spoke much about it. The days where you’d spend the afternoons with the team until practice ended, if nobody wanted to catch dinner the two of you would eventually just part ways at the train station he walked you to every night.
“I could always drive you home, ya know, I’m a good driver,” he says when you search through your bag for your PASMO card.
“I live in the opposite way you’re going, ‘Tsumu,” you laugh, albeit still appreciative at his offer.
“I know,” he replies and rattles his keys in his hands.
You’re still digging through your bag as you look for the card you know you must have left at home before you finally sigh and look at him looking at you holding out his keys.
“C’mon, (Y/n), I won’t speed I swear!” Atsumu laughs as he leads the way to the parking lot.
-
A few more weeks pass and you’re glad no one mentions the fact that you follow Atsumu into the parking lot every time practice ends. The day after he drove you home for the first time, you flashed the PASMO card you made sure to have with you this time and told him thank you for dropping you off the day before. He only rolled his eyes as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you in the car with him.
In hindsight, you could have said no and waved him off like usual, but your feet were matching the steps in his before you could even process what you were doing. He just drove you home, made small talk, and asked about your days most of the time—so all in all it was pleasant.
And you lived in the west side of town so drive always meant that the both of you had a front seat view to the sky’s art show. One thing you noticed (and appreciated) about Atsumu was the duality in his focus.
First hand, you’ve seen up close the intensity of his focus during his serves. The air would whip itself into a deafening silence at the drop of his hand and his eyes steeled over as fast as the sounds came to a halt—it was eerie, almost. In the way that sent chills down your spine and admiration bubble in the pits of your stomach. Then, as quick as the ball slams on the spot of the ground he aimed towards—the yell of triumph he’d express and the smile that would break into his face would overflow from his whole being. Like exhaling shakily after a sharp intake of breath—Atsumu was everything intense.
But, Atsumu, you think as you peek at him looking at the skies in front of him, was also serene. The kind of focus that pulled you in all the right ways. Like the gentle teacher you had from elementary who would coax you softly to focus sounding out the words in the passage you had trouble pronouncing. His hands were steady on the wheel, at 10 and 2 and the car would slowly come to a stop at every red light instead of the sharp lurch your body moves into when you press the brake a little too harshly. He only sometimes put music in the car—he told you he prefers to have your voice as company instead of hearing about the weather from the radio.
It surprised you, but at this point Atsumu brought nothing in your life but surprises. Then again, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing—you were just used to feeling the ground before you fell so his uncertainty was still very much of an unmarked territory for you.
-
“Is it something about me?” he asked when the two of you exited the car and stood outside the entrance to your apartment building.
You know what he’s talking about, but you opt to stay silent and look at him with your head tilted instead because you already feel the urge to take one step back.
He’s still looking at you even as the passing moments are stretching into an awkward silence so he sighs and shoves his hands back in his pockets—something he does when he’s nervous, you noticed—and waved you off when you opened your mouth to try to retaliate. You’re thankful because you aren’t exactly sure what it was you were going to say anyway.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” he says as he turns.
“See ya tomorrow?”
He waits for you to nod and wave a goodbye at him, which he first smiles at, before he starts the car and drives away.
-
His question “doesn’t keep you up at night,” is what you try to convince yourself when it’s 2:05 am on a Tuesday night and all you’ve done so far is toss and turn in bed. To prove your own point, you’ve sat up and turned the bedside lamp on while you scroll through some unopened emails on your laptop.
Halfway into retyping the same email you know you’ve been staring at for the past hour, Atsumu’s contact photo chimes in your phone in the form of a text message.
“you up?” it reads from the notification bar and you automatically shut your laptop close, turn off the lamp, and throw your covers over your head.
“No,” you reply out loud and you internally groan because of how ridiculous you’re being.
Your thoughts from the night before still remain in your head as you’re sitting on the bench beside the court later that afternoon as you type away at your laptop. It’s still the same email you never replied to last night, but you try to ignore that. You also ignore the fact that you’ve kept count of how many times the ball slammed on the opposite side of the net when Atsumu practiced his serves.
You don’t notice it when Bokuto takes a seat next to you and looks over your shoulder at the email you’re not even halfway through typing.
“That’s the same email opened since this morning,” he points out and you groan before turning to face and quickly shush him.
He’s laughing when he takes a seat next to you.
“You know,” he begins, “I think you’re just scared to feel something for Atsumu.”
You close your laptop—the draft of your email unsaved, like it had any coherent content anyway.
“Bo, you’re being silly,” you reply knocking your shoulder against his in laughter.
“You’re avoiding the conversation, (y/n),” he laughs back and you wave him off towards the court in laughter when the coach calls for him.  He stretches when he stands back up and tells you, “We’ll talk about this later because I think you need it,” before jogging off to the other side of the gym.
Inwardly, you heave another sigh, because this was one of the times where Bokuto’s being more serious. You had to give him credit—the duality in his personality and harsh line when he switched from jesting to seriousness was impressive. Bokuto Koutarou wasn’t smart in many aspects of the domestic parts of life—he didn’t understand taxes, or why you needed to change the oil often, but he had a way of looking through the layers people build around themselves.
At first, it caught you off guard because two weeks after you met you had only been sitting outside a convenience store watching him lick the melted parts of his ice cream on his hands when he suddenly turns to you and says, “(Y/n), I wish you would take risks more. You’re too cautious.”
He never brought it up again, but every time he chose to tell you something—it was always something you knew, never acknowledged, but needed to hear.
So when Atsumu waves at you and shouts that he’ll just shower and be out in thirty minutes, you ignore the urge to step back, and smile at him instead.
You’re thinking about Bokuto’s words again as you listen to Atsumu yell something at Sakusa from inside the locker room.
You’re too different from each other.
You suppose there are differences, especially in the way you address your friends—Atsumu’s not afraid to clap your back while he laughs while you choose to keep your hands to yourself. He’s not afraid to let his intentions be known while you try to wrestle with your thoughts every time you’re shifting closer to the edge.
You could always walk away, you tell yourself every day, but every day you also choose to not do that. You know day by day and sunset after sunset you watch with Atsumu you’re nearing that edge again—and you want nothing more than take twenty more steps back but each day he offers you a new joke that you genuinely laugh at you know it’s a couple centimetres closer to where you’re afraid of going.
Bokuto’s right, you’re different from each other, but you know deep down that you’re alike in so many ways. When Atsumu talks about what he wants to do accomplish in life outside of volleyball, he talks with such a childish wonder in the certainty of the tone of his voice. At times, he was stubborn to the core—just like you were, and you realize that would clash between the both of you some day but Atsumu smiling as he’s jogging towards you has you realizing that you don’t really mind at all.
“Ready to go?” he asks and you could only nod as you follow him out the door.
Bokuto’s looking at you and giving you a thumbs up which you nervously return with a smile of your own.
During the car ride back home, you’re thankful that Atsumu chooses to flip on the radio this time; you didn’t plan on telling much of a story, and your thoughts are too jumbled up with everything for you to even settle with small talk.
“You good?” he asks, then looks over at you at the red light. You nod yes and shift the bag sitting in your lap.
“The sky looks pretty today,” you begin, “—the sunset today looks like the ones I grew up seeing when I was a kid at my grandfather’s by the coast.”
Atsumu hums, but it’s still heard over the low volume of the car’s radio, “You should take me to see one day.”
Your gut churns and you curse yourself when you habitually chose to stay silent.
“I don’t mean it like I’m inviting myself there, (Y/n)—“
“It’s okay, you should visit with me next time,” you reply then turn to watch his expression shift from flustered to surprise from his profile. You’re watching him with baited breath and your heart thumping can almost be heard when the radio dips into a silence in the commercial.
The light switches to green and Atsumu eases his foot off of the break as the car slowly gains momentum before he’s nodding his head and saying a soft, “Yeah. Sure. Totally.”
It’s quite uncharacteristic for him to be so muted with his replies, but you suppose these are one of the similarities you’re discovering you have with Atsumu. He’s confident and barks out his comments when his emotions are running high, but at the moment you know the both of you are tiptoeing around that line of uncertainty at the moment.
When his pointer figure taps the steering wheel in an unknown rhythm, a nervous habit of his, you feel yourself slightly relax. The difference this time from that hallway breakup you had when you were sixteen was both of you were at the same page. That boy who said he didn’t love you let the certainty in his intentions be known in the way you could already anticipate the long term ending for. There was nothing more to be uncovered—and you didn’t find the push to dive down for more.
This, with Atsumu, was a different story. You had curiosity with the unclarity. You craved to unravel his truth. 
Truthfully, every decision you’ve made so far had you already seeing the outcome—that’s why you’ve only felt like you were only jumping to a ground two or three feet under you.
With Atsumu, you’ve come to realize that he personified the edge. At the same time, he was the push and the pull of the wind when you’re balancing yourself between curiosity and reason. You know the frustration you feel when you can’t read him comes from the fact that you’re only seeing him from the surface. You see licks of who he is with every slam of the ball and every spark in his eye. 
But just when you feel that knot in your stomach, you allow reason to cloud your desire to jump into the blurred lines of variability— Every. Single. Time.
And it frustrates you because twenty steps back have become too comfortable for you to try to leave. You hated it, but you knew what was waiting for you every time, so you learned to find the comfort in it.
The truth is, you’ve always had the curiosity towards what it felt like to plunge. Like the story your grandfather would tell you—it ended with the boy dying by the edge he never found the curiosity to jump in, surrounded by the questions that ultimately died with him. It was a pitiful end, and up till now you believe the entire story could have been avoided. You know you’re always thinking about the dive and what comes with it, but never found quite the push that’d lead you to want to throw your body forward and seek.
You know Bokuto always had a point in the passing comments he tells you when you least expect it. Bokuto presented them to you in forms of declarations not even in questions.
The sky in front of you is the same sky you stood under when you dangled your feet over the edge, fearless, years ago. Atsumu feels like the push and pull of the wind, and the tug of gravity under your soles when he looks at you as you stand in front of your apartment building.
You’re not in the cliff side this time but you see the horizon you forgot you loved when Atsumu shoves his hands in his pockets and offers you a smile.
You hear the cry of the waves below and the call of the seagulls to your left when Atsumu says, “About earlier, you don’t have to worry about it—I was just jokin.”
“You’re scared to feel something for Atsumu,” you hear Bokuto tell you when you itch to take a step back, then, “I wish you’d take more risks.”
“I wanna take the risk,” you say out loud and Atsumu looks at you quizzically, before softening his eyes when he realizes what you’re trying to say.
And you could almost laugh because of course he understands what you mean. Atsumu knew more than he let on and you could laugh again at the mirroring of your personalities. It was opposite and identical at the same time: identical like the both of you understanding each other’s metaphors without explanation, and opposite in the way he always addresses them while you do, well, the opposite of that.
“I wanna jump,” you say even if it doesn’t make sense because you’re confident the message will reach him all the same.
Atsumu’s beaming and you think it looks like the sun that’s looked at you from the horizon for years. When he takes your hands in his, you inhale yet feel breathless because the balls of your feet feel weightless and your body is leaning forward.
And when the clouds in the sky blend with the painting and Atsumu leans forward, you let gravity take you—
Then, you’re diving.
-
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ghost-in-the-stalls · 3 years
Note
What are ur tilda hcs?
Okay im finally gonna answer this!! Thank you so much for asking!!! I love receiving asks and I love sharing my headcanons. Sorry again it's so late ❤❤❤
This isn't gonna be nearly as well worded and eloquent as I originally planned. The first time I wrote it it basically became a drabble about her life. And then I lost that whole draft. Lmao
I just don't have it in me to recreate that whole thing again but I still wanna share my headcanons about her because I do have a lot!
I also wanna say this is in no way to like... excuse her behavior or try and redeem her. She was a terrible person. But people aren't born terrible. And I like taking 2 dimensional fictional women and making them make sense. So this isn't to excuse but instead to explain? I guess?
cw for all the shit you expect with the minyards by now, but specifically drug addiction and statutory rape. Also this is LONG so its going under a cut.
So first of all, I imagine her and Luther as being half siblings. Their father was a preacher or something- someone with a big role in their church's community and a big reputation of being a reliable, wise, holy man.
When Luther was maybe around 3 years old, there was this teenage girl in the congregation who would often come to Mr. Hemmick for advice, guidance, comfort, etc. She didn't quite fit in in school, wasn't great at academics and struggled to keep up with her siblings achievements, and was overall going through a lot of the turmoil thats unfortunately common for teenagers.
So she, like many people in the congregation, went to Mr Hemmick for guidance and ended up seeing a lot of him. She felt listened to and believed in with him. She felt like he treated her as more mature than the way her family treated her. She trusted him. He abused that.
If you asked her at the time, she would have said it was consensual between them. But she was 16. And when she became pregnant, he turned on her REAL fast lemme tell you. He made her promise not to tell anyone that he was the father, and he only told his wife. And of course, when he told his wife, he talked at length about how this 16 year old girl tempted him to sin; how he regretted it and only hoped she could learn to truly find God.
So he took the child in upon being born as a way to "attone" for what he'd done, but the whole community (not knowing he was the father) just saw it as an act of good will. And of course he'd tout off a lot in his sermons about how he'd be able to give the baby a much better, holier lifestyle than a teenager who turned her back on god by having sex.
So he and his wife end up raising Tilda from birth, but they make sure she knows from the beginning the circumstances of her birth. They drill it into her that her mother was a dirty sinner and that she herself is tainted as a result. She is raised always feeling like she needs to be twice as good to even be considered half as good as her brother in her parents eyes.
Naturally, she stops trying pretty early. In middle school, I imaging her being one of those bullies. The really nasty ones who get violent at their victims for even looking at them wrong. Idk about anyone else, but in my schools growing up the fights between the girls were always way bloodier than the ones between the guys. And I imagine those as the types of fights she got in- especially when one of her victims decides to stand up for themselves by throwing her own baggage back in her face.
By high school, she was thoroughly committed to the role of problem child. She would do everything she could to upset her family and get herself into shit. She'd do drugs, skip classes, show up to school drunk, stay out late, etc. In addition to all this, she would purposefully find whatever guy seemed like the most trouble and take him home. Whether this was the school drug dealer, a boy who got expelled for some rough shit, or college boys who caught her eye at parties.
So she's basically dug this hole for herself where she's committed to actually being the child of sin that her family has always seen her as anyway. The few people who tried to reach out to her wouldn't get far. She would push and push at them to see how far she could stretch their patience (to see how long it took them to give up on her like everyone else).
She even had one teacher who never did give up on her. But she outright told Tilda that she can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Those words would ring in Tildas ears for years to come, even if she never found it in herself to put the concept into action.
So eventually she'd graduate- just barely because she rarely put in effort in school- and she'd be left to suddenly have to find a place in the world when she previously never even thought she'd have a future. She started batting heads with her family even more (which no one thought was possible at that point) but it became less antagonistic on her end. She was still a shit stirrer, don't get me wrong. But she was getting tired. The fights were less about her being intentionally aggrevating and aggressive and more about her continuously being unable to live up to their expectations.
Luther already had a promising job as a cop at this point, meanwhile she was still living at home and bouncing between jobs that barely kept her afloat and boyfriends that barely made her feel worth something. She'd gotten into drugs in high school, and the habit only got worse now that she was out. It was the only thing that made her feel something other than misery or numbness. She could lose herself in the drugs and the boyfriends and the late nights out. She would come home to see her parents less and less and would speak to them only when absolutely necessary.
Eventually Mr. Hemmick died fairly young (heart attack or something equally as tragic. Whatever I dont care about him enough to pick the details) and his wife followed soon after by suicide. The house was left to Luther, who moved back in immediately and said there'd be changes in the household. He basically told Tilda to quit the drugs and go back to church if she wanted to stay in the house. He also had other rules like keeping a job, dumping her current boyfriend, giving her a curfew, etc.
So she left. She took her shitty beat up car an ex had fixed up for her and headed to California. A friend from high school lived out that way, so that's where she headed.
During this period in her life the drugs got a lot worse. This is also when she realized that she had become addicted. Mainly this is because, even after being away from her family and having freedom, she was still miserable. She didn't know how to get through a day sober. The constant variation between numbness and misery was too much to bare, but she wasn't ready to help herself. She wasn't ready to commit to her own healing and health.
She was in and out of therapy and rehab as quickly as she'd change jobs and partners. She wouldn't commit, and as soon as she had an out she'd take it. Had to miss an appointment for scheduling? Didn't make it back to the shelter in time to claim her bed for the night? Forgot to call back one of the few people who tried to reach out? No going back.
This is my main thing with Tilda. She was a shitty person who had a shitty life. But she never found the strength and commitment in herself to put in the work to be better. She instead let herself fall further and further down the hole because it was easier than pulling herself out. Because part of her still believed deep down that she had succeeded in living up to her birthright- that she wasn't deserving of ever healing or being better.
It was in one of these rehab facilities that she met the twins' father (and this part is absolutely inspired by Luke and Joey from the haunting of hill house). He was a guy with a similar past to hers- always sure he was meant to be bad so he committed to the role and never learned to commit to anything else. The difference between them, though, was that he was ready to get better.
They became fast friends and leaned on one another a bit while in rehab. She didn't see him as anything other than a friend, but he unfortunately became set on this idea that they would heal and move forward together. She knew he had feelings for her and enabled him (she didn't love him back but had never actually felt cared for like this before). He believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, which was a lot. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up being more committed to her healing than she was. When she eventually started spiraling again, all other feelings for him were overshadowed by the part of her that just saw an opportunity.
She took advantage of him. She slept with him, took his money while he was sleeping, and bailed to get high and never see him again. Now I'm not gonna say she was just a devil who entered this poor man's life. He saw her more as a potential for an ideal life than a person. He was more in love with the dream he had of them getting better and starting a life together than he was actually in love with her and who she was as a person. Bad match all around.
So she never saw or heard from him again. When she found out she was pregnant, she went home to Luther and his wife and son. She didn't tell him right away that she was pregnant. Instead, she pretended she was just finally ready to commit to God and turn her life around. She played the part alright for a while, went to church with them and got sober and everything, but tried to leave and move into a women's shelter when she started showing. Luther found out and brought her home.
At first he was actually super supportive- mainly because he just genuinely thought she wanted to find God and stop "living in sin". But when she finally told him she didn't plan to keep the child, he turned on her.
We know the story from there. Personally I think the night that she stole the money and ran as her point of no return. Years down the line, when she knew she was being a terrible mother and person, she'd remember that night. And she'd think to herself how this is who she was always meant to be. How she doesnt deserve to be any better than how she is. And she'd dig the hole deeper.
-----
So yeah thats my take on Tilda Minyard. Sorry it was so long. I like the idea of giving depth and complexity to female characters- even the bad guys and the ones I don't like. I have a similar lengthy life concept for Mary Hatford as well, but it isn’t nearly as long. If anyone is curious lol
Thanks again for asking!
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ve1vetyoongi · 4 years
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heart of gold (blades of ice) | ksj
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Pairing: Seokjin x Reader
Genre: fluff, smut, angst.
Au: christmas!au, figure skater!oc, hockey player!seokjin
Word count: 20k
Summary: After a fall during figure skating practice dashes your dreams of competing at nationals, you vow to hang up your skates for good. That is until you cross paths with Kim Seokjin, captain of the ice hockey team, who is determined to get you back out on the rink and melt the ice in your heart.
Warnings: unprotected penetrative sex (don’t risk it protect ur biscuit kids), fingering, nipple play, handjobs, fluffy smut, mentions of panic/anxiety, cavity inducing fluff, all the cheesy Christmas cliches we know and love and also probably a number of terrible skating/ice hockey inaccuracies pls forgive me lol i tried.
Disclaimer: although some parts of this fic take place when the characters are teenagers, all smut takes place when they are legal, consenting adults!
A/N: hello 🥺 it’s been a while but i finally finished writing this fic for @jamaisjoons’ 12 days of bangtan collab! (link to be added bc tumblr sucks) I had so much fun writing something fluffy for a change (although there’s some angst in there too for all you sadists who ask me for more of that) and it really got me into the Christmas spirit this year so i rlly hope it can do the same for you 🥺🎄 a big merry Christmas to all of you guys, thank you for being here with me through 2019 and pls don’t forget to check out all the other amazing collab fics!! all the love hehe ~ 💞
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You spot your best friend Seulgi sat on the bleachers immediately. Her red hair stands out like a sore thumb against the white glare of the campus ice rink.
It's mid November and the cold wind that whispers over your skin as you watch skaters glide past on the ice paints the tip of your nose a rosy pink, even with a scarf wrapped tightly around it. Seulgi doesn't seem bothered by the temperature, wearing nothing but a pale blue bodysuit and tights all while stuffing her feet into a pair of polished ice skates nonchalantly as you climb the steps.
Seulgi doesn't even have to look up to know it's you when you slump down beside her. You've been best friends since the age of five and she would recognise the frustrated sigh you let out beside her in an instant.
"What are you doing here?" Her voice quips, chastising enough to finally pull your eyes away from the rink. You don't respond, stubbornly slinging your chapped hands into your coat pocket and avoiding her gaze until you feel a gentle hand on your arm. "I thought you said you weren't going to torture yourself anymore, Y/N."
You finally turn to look at her. There's a flick of silver liner on her lids that sparkles like tiny snowflakes against her dark lashes. She looks like she belongs in one of those figure skating magazines you used to ponder over as a kid. Like she belongs here, belongs on the ice.
You belonged here too, once. Before the accident.
The accident. 
The accident that destroyed your dreams of competing as a professional skater. The one that every single competitive figure skater at the rink whispers about in the locker rooms when you aren't around. The accident that turned the looks of astonishment and wonder you used to receive as you whirled around the ice into nothing but half smiles and pity as you now stand beside it.
Seulgi is looking at you like that right now, her puckered bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she searches your face for any sign of brokenness. You focus on steadying the rise and fall of your breath, letting the ache that seems to permanently stab at your chest these days whenever you're reminded of just how much you miss skating float away with the wisps of condensation that leave your lips with every exhale of chilly air.
"Trying to stay away was worse," You shrug. "I like being close to the ice."
"That's what you said last week before you had a panic attack after I slipped in the middle of my routine," Seulgi crosses her arms over her chest. "What if it happens again?"
"I'm feeling better, really." You manage to look her in the eyes, attempting to sound as convincingly sincere as possible.
"Fine. But don't make me say I told you so." She tucks your hair behind your ear before she's distracted again. "Hey, don't look now but Jimin's heading this way!" Seulgi squeals, fixing her hair hurriedly. 
She crosses and uncrosses her legs before settling into a position she deems natural and alluring, though it just makes her look stiff. "Do I look okay?"
You let out a puff of laughter. Seulgi has been head over heels for Jimin for as long as you can remember. You disapprove for the most part since Jimin has a reputation for being a world renowned ass but what with her being the most envied figure skater at the rink after winning a gold medal at nationals and him being the top ranked ice hockey player on campus, it only seemed like a matter of time before they would "team up". And Seulgi seems determined to make it happen before the year is out.
You follow her gaze to where the ice hockey team are clambering out of the locker rooms, hoots of laughter echoing through the rink as they push and pull each other playfully in their wobbly skates.
Sure enough, it's Park Jimin who interrupts your inner dialogue as he skates over to the barrier, waving up at Seulgi who grabs you by the hand and pulls you down to rink beside her despite your grumbling. Moral support, she says.
"Seulgi!" His skates crunch against the ice as he swings to a perfect stop. "What's up?"
"Not much! This is my best friend, Y/N. I don't think you guys have met before—"
"I know who she is." Jimin looks you up and down. "Skater right?"
"Ex-skater." You correct him.
"Oh that's right." There's a glint in his eyes as he pretends to pout, tugging on his collar like he wants you to think he made a mistake. Everyone around here knows about the accident so it's hardly believable. Jimin knows that you don't like him. Is he trying to get under your skin? "Whoops."
"Anyway..." Seulgi swiftly interrupts the strangely tense staring contest going down between you and Jimin, hand curling around your forearm like she's afraid you might jump him or something.
Jimin's eyes snap back to Seulgi. "So, I've been meaning to ask. Would you be able to get free tickets for me and the guys for the Christmas party at the rink next week?"
You roll your eyes. So that's why he suddenly decided to come over here to talk to Seulgi. Jimin was known for picking up girls with his sweet bargaining talk and empty promises and dropping them when they no longer had anything to offer, and this seemed like another one of his tricks — after all, everyone knows that Seulgi's dad owns the town's biggest ice rink and that tickets for the annual Christmas parade are like gold dust to get your hands on.
Jimin flashes Seulgi one of his trademark pearly grins and you can see her panties practically drop as she nods eagerly, even despite the condescending look you give. Don't do it. You try to send the words with your brain waves or something but apparently thirteen years of friendship isn't strong enough to break down the barrier of Park Jimin infatuation.
"Of course! I'll add you to the guest list!"
You slap a palm to your forehead.
"Great! I guess you could call it a date..."
Jimin's sweet talking becomes too cavity inducing to bare so you resort to resting your chin in your palm and watching the hockey team play instead.
You've seen them practice here hundreds of times so it's no wonder the brand new player sat at the edge of the ice, doing up his skates alone in a number 33 jersey, stands out to you instantly.
The whistle blows and the game starts and you gasp when you see how easily and languidly he glides across the ice. "Who is that?"
Jimin follows your gaze, resting his elbows on the edge of the rink just in time to watch the mystery player slide past his opponent before sending the hockey puck flying into the net with an easy precision. His teammates skid to sharp stops, jaws hanging open in disbelief at his skill as they fumble to congratulate him with loud thwacks to the back of his jersey.
"Who is that?" Seulgi's mouth is open in disbelief as Number 33 just brushes his team off with a humble nod, as if the attention makes him bashful, and skates to the centre of the rink to maintain his starting position for the second round.
"Him?" Jimin rolls his eyes. "That's the new captain. Can't remember his name. Don't care, honestly. Said he moved here from downtown or something, I don't know, but everyone acts as if he's an ice hockey prodigy or something."
"He's good." You jump in. "I've never seen someone make a goal that easy before."
"I just don't understand why coach chose him to be captain instead of me." Jimin murmurs under his breath, though you still catch the disdain in his voice as Number 33 makes yet another goal. "There's only one scholarship up for grabs and it has to be mine."
The funny feeling is back in your stomach again as the game finally comes to an end and the guy in the number 33 jersey disappears into the locker room. You just can't put your finger on it. Why are you so drawn to this random guy?
"Earth to Y/N? Hello?" Seulgi waves a hand in front of your face and you notice the blush on her cheeks as Jimin jogs away. "Critique my salchow jumps while I practice?"
You nod and Seulgi disappears onto the ice, taking her starting position before the music plays and she glides across the ice with ease. But you barely even feel the pang in your chest like usual as you watch her perform a routine you know you could do a million times better because you're too focused on the name that echoes through the arena as the guy in the number 33 jersey emerges from the locker room, helmet in hand now as he shakes free his head of dark brown hair.
"Kim Seokjin!"
Suddenly everything becomes clear.
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5 years ago.
Adrenaline runs hot in your veins as you tip toe onto the rink.
Seulgi's dad always let you be the first to break the fresh ice in. There's nothing you love more than the first crunch of your blades against the blanket of undisturbed frost, how the coolness of the ice hits your chapped skin as you gain speed, skates gliding on autopilot like they're following the map of patterns every spin leaves behind in the mosaic of ice.
Here it's easy to forget. All that matters is focus and balance and fingertips skimming ice. Reminding yourself to push further, to embrace the dizzy feeling of flying. Getting lost in the speed and the adrenaline and the goddamn burn in your quads as you close your eyes and spin and spin, arms poised like you might take flight at any second. Like you're one with the ice.
And when the determined sweat on your brow freezes and the blisters from your rental skates gets too much, you glide to the edge of the rink and drape yourself over the barrier with a triumphant smile. Your body aches and even though you shiver there's a warmth in your chest.
Freedom. And you can never get enough.
You don't realise your gasping for breath until a nervous cough pops your bubble of serenity and you're reminded you're at the ice rink and your shift is about to start and there's a strange guy in a fur hood and mittens peering up at you with wide eyes.
What the...?
"Can I help you?" You ask.
An awkward silence stretches out as the guy stares at you quizzically for a second, eyes dragging from your skates up to your face. You see him swallow thickly when he meets your gaze.
"Me?" He glances to the left and then to the right, cheeks flushing a deep shade of red when he finds the rink otherwise derelict. "Oh, uh...I was walking by just now and I saw you and—"
"If you wanna skate you need to buy a ticket." You hoist yourself off the rink, clomping across the heavy rubber carpet towards the ticket booth in your skates like you're on a pair of wobbly stilts.
He thrusts his hands into his pockets and trails a few steps behind you, eyes trained to the ground as you lift the hatch and slip behind the cash register. "Right. I knew that."
"What size do you need?" You call over your shoulder.
"Huh?"
He's a couple feet shorter than you and his forehead barely pokes over the counter of the booth but you can still sense the confusion in his voice. It takes all your strength to bite back a smile. "Your shoe size? For your skates?"
"Oh — right! Uh, 12 please." The guy scratches the back of his neck bashfully as you hand him a pair of freshly sharpened rental skates. His hand shoots out a little too eagerly, mitten covered fingers just barely brushing yours, the touch enough to send a jolt through your entire body like you'd just touched something icy cold. You pause, your own cheeks heating up now as the fur hood hugging his ears falls down to reveal a mop of messy brown hair and a pair of gentle eyes that won't quite meet yours.
You cough, eager to gloss over the awkward moment quickly. "First time here, huh?"
The embarrassed chuckle he lets out is endearing. "Yup. Is it that obvious?"
"Kinda." A smile finds your lips as he slips off one of his sneakers and fiddles with the laces of the ice skates clumsily. "So what brings you here?"
His foot finally slides into the boot. He smiles triumphantly. "I want to learn how to do what you did."
You quirk a brow. "Me?"
"Yeah. Just now, when you were skating. It was awesome. Like you were flying or something." He swallows. "I hope you don't mind that I watched, you can tell me if it's totally creepy-"
You cut off his nervous rambling with a chuckle. "It's fine, really." It's your turn to avert your eyes now. "Besides, I'm not awesome. But thanks."
You watch the professional figure skaters that frequent the rink to practice every week with their perfected turns and toe loop jumps and hand sewn leotards that glimmer in the rink's reflection. They are poised and disciplined, floating across the rink like their skates never quite touch the surface. You are nothing like them. And you never will be.
"Are you kidding?" The guy all but splutters. "You're the best skater I've ever seen!"
"And how many other skaters have you seen?"
"Zero." His eyes glint cheekily. "But I'm sure none of them could top you, skater girl.”
You practically choke at that, face flushing a deep red as you bump into a rack of ice skating brochures before panicking and dropping to your knees out of sight behind the booth.
Way to seem natural! What had gotten into you? Idiot.
You squeeze your eyes shut, pinching your inner arm like you might wake up from a crazy dream and this whole embarrassing-yourself-in-front-of-cute-boy malarkey would disappear with it. Alas, when your eyes open you find that you are very much awake and brochures cover the booth of the floor.
Luckily, he doesn't notice; he's already getting to his feet shakily, whitened knuckles gripping the side of the booth as he tries to find his balance. You remember how it felt the first time you wore a pair of skates. How the edges dug into your ankles and every step felt like you were on a tight rope. Now they felt natural.
"Woah!" His first steps are like watching a baby deer, arms outstretched as he desperately tries to maintain his dignity and stop from face planting before he even gets out on the ice. "This is harder than I thought..."
You slowly get up from your knees, a coy smile finding your mouth as you peer over the counter. The new customers were always the best to spy on; you and Seulgi spend hours back here behind this very booth spluttering over hot cocoa at the people who always seem to fall on their asses as soon as they touch the ice. If she was here right now she'd probably say something about how he was ticking every first skater cliche box possible.
Frantic windmill arms? Check. Nervous muttering? Check. The balance of a penguin in high heels? Triple check.
You rest your chin in your palm, biting back your amusement when he staggers over to the edge of the rink and tentatively takes his first step onto the ice. His skate immediately slides out from beneath him and his knuckles turn white around his grip on the barrier as he struggles to pull himself back upright, glancing side to side bashfully to check if anyone spotted his screw up.
"I meant to do that..." He grunts, taking a deep breath as he moves closer to the ice again. This time, his first step is successful and after a few almost mishaps he seems to finally get the hang of it, pushing his weight back and forth so that he moves — albeit shakily — across the rink, gaining speed by the second. He punches the air triumphantly, letting out a long hoot of elation.
"Look I'm doing it! — wait...ah!" Despair flashes across his features when he realises his body is headed straight towards the barrier at full speed. "How do I stop?!" He cries, legs scrambling to find their balance.
"Oh no..." You wince, covering your eyes. "This can't end well."
It's too late to help him now and all you can do is wince and watch in horror as he crashes onto the ice in a pile of clumsy limbs with a grunt.
"Ouch!"
You count the seconds that he's down, waiting for the moment his head pops up over the barrier. Ten seconds. Then twenty. Thirty, and still no sign of his dazed face or choppy bangs.
Oh no.
Before you can think better of it you are clambering over to the rink and gliding across the ice to where he lays on his back, eyes shut.
He's not...he can't be...is he?
"Are you okay?" You prod him with the toe of your skate. No response. Panic courses through your veins as you fall to your knees and shake him by the shoulders. "Oh my god, please wake up!"
A lazy smile appears on his face, words a little slurred. "I'm fine! I'm fine!"
You lean back into your heels with a sigh of relief as he scrambles onto his elbows and brushes the ice chips from the back of his coat.
"That was..."
"Dangerous." You deadpan.
"Amazing!" He breathes, pure wonder lighting up his face. "I want to go again!"
Your mouth hangs open as he tries to scramble to his feet awkwardly and without success, his skates sliding out from beneath him again. He grabs at the scarf strung around your neck to try and save himself, only he ends up just pulling you down with him into a heap on the ice.
"See! Dangerous." You tut, rolling your eyes as you feel the wet ice soak into the back of your jeans. Nice, now you would have to walk around looking like you pissed your pants for the rest of the day.
He pouts, blowing a frustrated puff of air from the corner of his mouth to dislodge the bangs that fell messily across his eyes in the scuffle. "You made it look so easy! How do you do it without falling on your ass?"
You snort. "You don't. If you wanna learn to skate you're gonna have to embrace having a cold ass once in a while. Skating is about being able to pick yourself back up again each time you fall." You rub the small of your back with a frown. "Even if it bruises."
You get to your feet and reach out a hand for him to take, pulling him up after you. When he finally finds his balance you grab him by the elbow to glide over to the safety of the edge of the rink where he can't be a liability to himself. He lets out a breath of relief when his fingers grasp the barrier.
"Aren't you scared to fall?" He puffs, wiping the sweat that has formed on his brow despite the chill in the air from the ice.
"Terrified." You grin when he glances up at you through his bangs, eyebrow quirked. "But that's part of the fun."
"Teach me." He says suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Teach me how to skate." He clasps his hands together, eyes full and round. "Properly! Like you. Please?"
You let out a sigh. You barely even know this kid. For all you knew he could be a crazy person!
But something about the way his eyes shine when he lifts his hands from the barrier and manages to keep his balance makes you hesitate. You recognise the flushing smile on his face, can imagine the warm feeling of triumph thawing his chest.
Passion.
How could you say no?
"Fine. Meet me here every day at 3. And don't be late."
"Deal." He holds out a mittened hand for you to shake. "My name is Seokjin, by the way. What's yours, skater girl?"
"Y/N." You say when you take his warm hand in yours. "Nice to meet you."
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Three o clock becomes your favourite time of day.
Seokjin is like a snow storm in a cup. True to his word, every day when the clock ticks over to 3PM he comes flying into the rink in a flurry of cheesy smiles and dad jokes.
And even though you make fun of the bundles of scarves up to his eyes (that his mom made him wear, as he likes to remind you begrudgingly) and roll your eyes every time he trips over his own skates or bruises his knees or falls on his ass, you can't deny the fact that you're starting to enjoy having him around.
You're not the only one who loves his company. Everyone at the rink is talking about the guy with the bowl cut who is showing so much potential. Probably because Seokjin is much better than you at making friends, instantly becoming well liked in the skating community for his humour and his up and coming skating skills. You hate to admit it but when Seokjin smiles and flirts with the pretty figure skaters from Seulgi's class it makes you burn with jealousy, especially when they titter at his stupid jokes like they're the peak of comedy.
But when Seokjin sees you tying your skates and watching from afar he always turns down their offers to buy him coffee and bounds over to you like a puppy, ready to launch into a recount of some anime he watched last night or one of the advanced skating jumps he wants you to teach him despite barely being able to keep his balance on the ice.
And that's why Seokjin makes you feel like you belong here just as much as everyone else. Because he sees you when no one else does. Because you finally have something that is all your own.
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"What's up, skater girl?" Seokjin shoots you a set of finger guns when you look up from the skating magazine in your lap before he leaps over the ticket booth counter. "No customers today?"
You shake your head. Sunday's were always slow days at the rink. That's why you liked these shifts. It's peaceful just being alone with the ice.
"Guess you could say we're totally ice-olated! Get it?" He cackles as he pulls out a pair of white skates from his backpack. His parents bought them for him as an early Christmas present. They are much nicer than your scuffed rental ones and you tuck your feet under the chair so that he can't see them while he ties up his laces.
You chatter absentmindedly as you make your way to the rink as usual. It's only been a few months of lessons but Seokjin doesn't even flinch now when his blades touch the ice, immediately taking off around the rink as fast as he can to blow off some steam before skidding to a stop in a flurry of ice chips when you flash him an amused grin.
"I can never get enough of this feeling." He spins in demonstration, the ends of his hair fluttering up in the breeze that whips around him. "Can we keep learning the routine today? I think I almost got it perfect last time."
"Sure." Seokjin had begged you for weeks to teach him a figure skating routine so you showed him one of the easy ones you saw the beginner skaters perform sometimes. He was getting pretty good now, rarely falling on his butt or missing a step like before. The concentration on his face as he copies your demonstrations and the triumphant grin that replaces it when he finally gets a jump right fills you with a sense of pride.
You're about to skate over to the boom box and hit play on some music so you can go over the routine when the door busts open and in walks Seulgi's figure skating class. You instantly fill with dread as their eyes land on you, scrutinising, and you feel a heat rise in your cheeks.
"Hey Seokjin!" One of them calls — Jennie, you think her name is — as she drapes herself over the barrier seductively. "Why don't you come over here and show us what you're made of? Without your, uh, friend"
"Sorry Jennie, I'm kinda busy right now." He shouts back. "Maybe some other time."
A weird combination of envy and sadness rises inside  you. "Just go." You mutter. "They can teach you a lot more than I can. I don't care."
Lies. You care so much the words taste sour leaving your mouth but you're sure the way Seokjin wistfully gazes towards the pretty girl with fluttering eyelashes who throws her sheet of black hair over her shoulder invitingly tells you all you need to know.
You sting with inferiority. You are just a rookie after all. A nobody. Why would Seokjin want to hang out with you?
With an awkward pout you take off and start skating in circles absentmindedly. It acts as a pleasant distraction, lets you breathe a little bit. Another pair of skates scrape somewhere behind you and then Seokjin's shoulder brushes up against yours. You push harder and faster but he's good now and keeps up with you easily, even as you both start panting with exertion.
"Why don't you take skating classes here like them?" He asks suddenly. "I know it bothers you. You spend so much time skating, don't you wanna do it for real?"
Seokjin's question takes you by so much surprise that you forget your balance and before you can react you're sat in a heap of limbs on the ice. You hide behind your hair when you hear the figure skating team tittering with laughter, amused that however hard you try you will never be able to skate like them.
"Because I'm not like them." You mumble. "I don't have supportive parents like you and I don't have the talent they do." Seokjin says nothing and you wait for him to leave you for Jennie instead but he just stays rooted to the spot. "Why don't you just get proper lessons if your parents can afford it? Why do you keep coming back here everyday to me?"
Seokjin doesn't respond. The next thing you know, there's a loud crash and he's throwing himself forcefully onto his butt on the ice beside you. "Whoops!" He says, putting on a show for the skaters to hear. They immediately stop laughing when he sends them a stern look.
"Because I like you." Seokjin whispers, but only loud enough for you to hear this time, making a point of rubbing his back like the fall hurt to make you laugh. "Not them."
He offers you a hand and you both scramble to your feet. The smile on your face hurts your cheeks but you can't bring yourself to let it go. And as Seokjin spins you around until your giddy and your teeth start to chatter you forget about the skaters and the inferiority and fill with nothing but belonging.
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"You're getting better." You tell Seokjin as you skate hand in hand over to the edge of the ice. "In a couple of weeks you'll be able to skate without me supervising."
He smirks. "I know."
"How humble." You punch his shoulder but he barely flinches, just chuckles when you nearly lose your balance again and he has to grab you under the elbows to keep you upright. "Woah!"
When you look up you're practically nose to nose with him. His breath is warm when it tickles your cheek and you feel yourself go slack in his grip. Seokjin's eyes are filled with stars as they dip down to your mouth and then back up to your eyes.
It hits you how much you want him to kiss you. How much you want to kiss him. Although he seems to have other ideas...
"Hey, I almost forgot!" He pulls away and you let out a shaky breath, scuffing the toe of your skate against the carpet bashfully. Seokjin's face lights up as he fumbles around in his big coat pockets. "I got you something for Christmas. Close your eyes."
"Huh?"
He's practically jumping from foot to foot with excitement now. "Just do it!"
You oblige with a fond shake of your head, squeezing your eyes shut, heart fluttering when Seokjin presses something cold and smooth into the palm of your hand.
When you uncurl your fingers you find a delicate Christmas ornament in your palm that is shaped like a pearly white ice skate. The tiny boot is tied up with red and white candy cane laces and the silver glitter on the blade sparkles in the low light.
"Oh Seokjin..." You gasp, turning it around in your fingers. "It's so pretty."
"Do you like it?" Seokjin asks anxiously, searching your face, a grin appearing on his lips to match your own when you nod eagerly.
"I love it!"
"I thought of you as soon as I saw it." He scratches the back of his neck, suddenly shy. "Now you can think of me when you see it, too."
You slide Seokjin's gift into your pocket, walking beside him in a comfortable silence towards the exit. "See you here again tomorrow?"
Seokjin's hand falters on the door handle, something close to pain crossing his features. You wait for him to answer your question but he never does. Instead you're being pulled into a tight hug, his arms squeezing you so tightly you start to feel light headed. At least that's what you tell yourself. It can't be the way his warm breath flutters against your neck, right?"
"Thank you. For everything." He murmurs into your hair. "For being you."
Your arms wrap around his back instinctively. "All of a sudden?"
"Just remember that, okay?" He flashes you a final small smile before his warm embrace is gone and he's out the door and being whisked away with the flurry of snow that has begun to fall.
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Seokjin doesn't come back the next day. Or the day after that. Even when a week passes by with no sign of him you still find your head snapping up each time the door opens or you see the flash of a red scarf.
"He's not coming, Y/N." Seulgi sighs, pushing your legs down from where you balance on the windowsill with your forehead pressed to the glass to make room for her own body to squeeze in beside you. "My dad says his family left town last week, remember?"
You keep your eyes glued to the path outside. If you focus hard enough you can almost see him barging through the door like he always does, making his unruly presence known by calling out some irritatingly unfunny dad joke that still managed to somehow make you laugh when he cracked himself up. Or grabbing your hands and swinging you around on the ice until you're both panting and laughing and teary eyed at the same time but you don't care because you're together.
And if you close your eyes you can still remember how it felt when he wrapped you up in his arms before he left and you wonder if anything he ever said meant anything at all.
Fresh snow has started to fall and just like that the boot prints he left behind are covered up, like they never even existed. Like he never even existed.
You bite your lip. "How could he leave without telling me first?"
"Oh Y/N." Seulgi rubs your shoulder. "I'm sure he had his reasons."
"Whatever." You jump down from the window, slinging your hands in your pockets only to feel your heart pang when your fingers brush up against the Christmas decoration Seokjin gave you.
You dangle the string from your finger, admiring the way it sparkles and glints when it hits the light, even when your eyes start to fog up with tears that just won't seem to disappear no matter how hard you try to rub them away.
And with that you drop it into a stray box of Christmas decorations and it's like Seokjin really is gone for good now.
"Y/N?" Seulgi's dad pokes his head into the ticket booth. You have to wipe your cheeks with your sleeve quickly, mustering up the closest thing to a watery smile as you can. "I was thinking about your Christmas gift. How would you like some skating lessons with Seulgi. I watched you today and I think you're really talented. Let's not waste it, hm?"
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Present day.
"So you're telling me the kid with the weird hair is back?" Seulgi asks, though you can only see her eyes peering over the top of the cardboard box filled with Christmas decorations that she lugs out of the storage closet. Her dad asked you to decorate the huge tree that looks like it belongs out in a forest instead of in front of the ice rink, which is how you find yourself balanced precariously on a wooden ladder trying and failing to lasso tinsel over the furthermost branches.
"He doesn't have weird hair." You say through gritted teeth as the ladder wobbles and you miss the branch once again. "And his name is Seokjin, Seulgi."
"Same difference." Seulgi barely puffs before her foot slips and the box is sent flying to the ground in a wince worthy crash of jingling bells and cracking glass that bursts all over the carpet. "Oh shit! These were my grandmas! My dad is gonna kill me...hey, can you rescue the survivors while I go get something to clean up this mess?"
"Sure."
"Don't start on the lights without me!"
Seulgi disappears into the back and you breathe a sigh of relief when you hop down the ladder and your feet touch the ground again.
It takes all your strength to heave the box onto a nearby table, frowning when you open the flaps to find nothing but a pile of sparkling crushed glass where Seulgi's grandma's prized ornaments should have been. Rolling up your sleeves, you begin to remove the salvageable ones, pausing when your fingers curl around a familiar shape.
When you open your palm it reveals a small silver ice skate with candy-cane laces hanging from a dainty silver string.
Seokjin's gift. How did it get here?
God, you really are hung up on this guy, huh? Wherever you go these days reminders of him seem to follow. Without figure skating to distract you, you have fallen back into your old missing-Kim-Seokjin ways and you can't help but scowl at your own weakness for some guy who just up and left without a single word five years ago.
"Hello?" A voice deeper than Seulgi's echoes through the rink, followed by a gust of chilly wind and the slamming of the entrance doors. "Are you open?"
Is that...
"Seokjin?"
His name leaves your lips as a whisper but the shrill sound of the ornament falling from your shock slackened fingers and shattering into a million pieces alerts him of your presence.
Shit. Seulgi is gonna kill you.
You bend to your knees, desperately trying to reassemble the smashed shards but failing miserably.
"It's ruined." You have to bite your lip to stop angry tears from sliding down your cheeks as you stare down at the miserable pile of broken glass. All that is left of a happy memory gone forever.
A pair of boots stop in front of you and when you lift your head you're met with a familiar pair of gentle brown eyes staring down at you in concern.
"Skater girl?"
He's back. Kim Seokjin is back. And he's here!
In your surprise you accidentally squeeze the glass between your fingers too hard, hissing when you feel a sharp scrape against your palm. "Ow!"
"Hey, watch out! You're bleeding."
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The last place you expected to find yourself today was cradling your cut hand behind the ticket booth while Kim Seokjin of all people rummages beneath the counter for the first aid kit. It's almost as if he never left with how easily he shrugs off his coat and gets to work.
"You still keep it down here, right?" You nod and he lets out a little ta da when his head re-emerges behind a box filled with bandages and antiseptic. "I remember from all the times I fell out on the ice and you had to patch me up."
When he sits down on the stool opposite you it's like you're experiencing a severe case of dejavu. He looks exactly the same as he always did yet somehow completely different; his shoulders are broader than you remember them and it looks like he started gelling his hair back, exposing his forehead. Your eyes can't help the way they trace the curve of his jaw, sharper now, and the ice hockey shoulder pads that protrude from beneath his winter coat.
One thing is the same though. The way he takes your wrist gently into his lap and begins to wind a strip of bandage around it with caution, glancing up at you every now and again to check it isn't too tight or too painful. He always was the kind and patient one after all.
"There." He says when he's finished, thumb running across your wrist just barely before you take back your arm sheepishly, still avoiding eye contact. "You should really be more careful. You won't be able to train with an injured hand."
You wince at the mention of figure skating. Of course Seokjin hadn't heard about the accident yet — he was living in a different town when it happened. But that didn't make it any less painful.
Seokjin frowns when he sees your face, mistakenly reaching for your hand again. "Does it still hurt?"
You take a sudden step back and his hand falls to his side. "No. It's fine." You grab your bag with your good arm and swing it over your shoulder. "Thanks for this but I gotta go."
A hand curls around your arm, pinning you in place before you can even take a step. When you turn begrudgingly Seokjin is biting his lip. "Did I say something wrong?"
A sigh escapes you and Seokjin reluctantly lets you go when you shake your arm free of his grip, finally taking a deep breath to fill your lungs with enough courage to look him in the eye.
"You didn't say anything at all. That's the whole problem, Jin." His mouth hangs open and he starts to stutter something but you put up a finger and he stops, retreating back into his seat like a scolded puppy. "You just left! Without even telling me where you were going! And now you're back here?"
"Y/N listen—"
"Why? Why are you back Seokjin?" The way your voice wavers makes his eyes widen.
He scratches the back of his neck almost remorsefully, avoiding the real question and your eyes. "I...I transferred. I applied for a ice hockey scholarship to play here. I was actually hoping I'd find you here, to see if maybe you wanted to go skating again sometime or something..."
"Listen, I don't skate anymore okay?" You scoff, turning on your heels and marching towards the exit. "So don't bother coming back."
Just then Seulgi reappears from the back. "Y/N? I found some more decorations — oh."
The last thing you hear is her voice calling your name before you march right out of the rink and get as far away from Seokjin and the memories and the longing and the hurt as possible.
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November has already rolled into December by the time you see Seokjin again.
Seulgi's family's ice rink is bustling with locals in scarves and wooly hats, alive with a buzz of excitement that mingles with the cheesy Christmas tunes playing overhead and the smell of hot cocoa from the concessions stand as the town eagerly awaits the beginning of the annual Christmas parade, of which the rink is the central attraction.
The rink is decorated to the nines and you can't deny it looks breathtaking; you aren't a total grinch after all. You're almost sure that you've woken up in some kind of alternate winter wonderland, like you're a character in one of those decorative snow globes they sell at the mall and the whole place could be picked up and shaken until the air fills with Christmas spirit like the first flakes of snow on a winter's morning.
Except nothing about working the ticket booth feels even remotely festive. Your cheeks have started to hurt from all the polite smiling at even the rudest of customers and the sly side eyes and grimaces you and Seulgi throw at each other every time you see another kid fall over and need first aid and there's fake snow in your hair and tinsel stuck to your shoe.
You've just slumped into a heap on the stool behind the counter after dealing with a particularly lumpy case of motion sickness from one of the parents begrudgingly skating like baby deers behind their children when you spot Jimin and the rest of the hockey team elbowing through the crowd to the ticket booth.
You can't help but roll your eyes when you see the pair of dark shades balanced on the bridge of his nose that just look silly with his winter coat and the smug smile on his face as he barges to the front of the queue and rings the bell on the counter like a man possessed.
"Can I help you?" You ask nonchalantly, inspecting your nails.
Jimin turns up his nose. "Is Seulgi around."
You shake your head. A lie. She's just in the back taking her gingerbread cookies out of the oven so she can hand them out to the children while they are still warm.
"No. You've got me. How many tickets?"
"We're on the guest list, actually." Jimin purrs. "Seulgi said so herself."
You pick up the clipboard on the counter and pretend to scan the guest list, pushing your bottom lip out mockingly as you shrug your shoulders. "Sorry. Doesn't look like you are. Now that'll be ten dollars each or I'm gonna have to ask you to leave—"
"Pfft, let me see that." Jimin reaches over the counter and tries to snatch the clipboard from your grasp but you just end up in a childish game of tug of war. With a scoff he suddenly let's go and wipes his hand on his jacket with a scowl, looking you up and down with gritted teeth. "What is your goddamn problem, Y/N? Would it kill you to be nice to me for once?"
"Me? Nice to you?" You let out an exasperated sigh, fists clenching as Jimin's entourage begin to look nervous, some backing up and others tugging him by the arm to back down which he only shakes off, eyes never leaving yours like he's daring you to look away first. "You are my problem, Park Jimin. You think you can come in here and use Seulgi? Well you'll have to cross me first—"
"Did someone call me?" Seulgi's sugary laughter rounds the corner before she does, confusion crossing her features when she sees Jimin's tense jaw and the murder in your eyes. Not exactly Christmas spirit, is it?
"Let's ask Seulgi herself about the guest list, shall we?" Jimin's face lights up with his signature smile that has Seulgi heating up in a blush and you mentally face palming as you reluctantly hand over the clipboard and watch Seulgi zero in on the PARK JIMIN she wrote in her own curly scrawl, the 'i's dotted with tiny hearts.
"Yep, you guys can go on through." She says with a grin, seemingly too blind with love to see the I told you so look Jimin sends your way.
"Seulgi are you really gonna—"
"I knew I could count on you Seulgi," Jimin drawls. "How about we go skating together?"
Yup. That's it. Your best friend has been taken over by the love bug and nothing you say now will bring her to her senses as she nods eagerly and begins ticking each member of the hockey team off her list.
"...Kim Taehyung...Jung Hoseok and last but not least, Kim Seokjin!"
Hold up...
When you stupidly snap your eyes up they instantly meet the very pair you've been trying to avoid. Seokjin's.
There he is in all his glory, tall enough these days to see over the counter. The smile on his face fades when he notices you too.
"Y/N? Hello?" Seulgi snaps you back out of your Kim Seokjin induced trance, blushing when you realise you must have been staring and that's probably why he's fiddling with his coat zipper and avoiding your gaze. "Can you handle the ticket booth for a bit while I go for a skate?"
All reservations are wiped from your mind and you have to swallow hard before any words come out that aren't oh my god or Seokjin. "Y-yeah, sure."
"Great!" She swings over the counter. You stare at your feet, face uncomfortably hot under Seokjin's gaze. Seulgi takes Jimin's elbow. "See you later!"
"Have f-fun." You manage to mumble, relief flooding your chest when Jimin and his entourage become smaller and smaller before disappearing amongst the indistinguishable hustle and bustle.
Your breath catches when you finally lift your gaze and find Seokjin still stood frozen in the same spot, opening and closing his mouth awkwardly like he wants to say something but doesn't quite know how.
I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave. I don't think you're a freak like everyone else just because of your accident.
You can imagine so many different combinations of words leaving his lips except the ones that he finally croaks aren't quite what you're expecting. "Uh, I need to rent some skates. I forgot to bring my ones..."
Oh.
A few awkward seconds pass until you realise he's waiting patiently for you to do your job and get him the freaking skates instead of standing open mouthed like some kind of frozen ice sculpture that doesn't know how to function, and you turn a little too abruptly, eager to hide the heat in your cheeks and nearly knocking the whole rack of rental skates down in your haste.
God! Why do you always embarrass yourself in front of him?
"I need a size—"
"12. I know." Your voice sounds small as you turn back around and hand him a pair of black skates, freshly sharpened just like how you knew he liked them. Or used to like them anyway. "I remember."
Something close to pain briefly flashes over his face and there's another silence that feels deafening despite the screams and cheers of skaters a few meters away that fill the atmosphere.
He coughs when his hand brushes yours as he reaches to take the ice skates and you feel your eyes widen when an electric current runs up your arm and settles in the left side of your chest with a funny pang. His eyes slowly meet yours, soft and gentle and filled with stars just like you remember them. Your heart starts beating so fast you're sure everyone at the rink can hear it now.
You can almost hear your words from the other day echoing in his head. Don't bother coming back.
And when he rips his gaze away from yours, the warmth of his fingers disappearing with it as he turns on his heels and starts to walk away without so much as a goodbye, you realise just how much you didn't mean them. How glad you are that he's back here, at the rink, like old times, like you've always silently hoped he would be despite never admitting it to yourself until now.
That's why you can't help yourself when you swing your body over the counter and jog after him, with a call of, "Hey, Seokjin, wait up!"
He stops abruptly at the sound of his name and you almost crash into the back of him, grateful for the arm that shoots out and catches you before you can stumble over your own feet.
"Woah, be careful. You coulda got hurt—"
His arm is still around your waist when you start mumbling incoherently, out of breath and desperate to get the truth off your chest in this sudden burst of bravery before you chicken out and retreat to the bubble of timidity you've found yourself in since the accident.
"Listen, I'm really sorry about the other day I was just kinda surprised to see you again and I lashed out." He cocks an eyebrow when you finish, before you're spluttering, "Good surprised! It's, uh, good to see you again is what I'm trying to say — really good to see you."
There's another silence that feels immeasurable and you feel hot embarrassment caress your face as you scan Seokjin's features for any sign that he's going to push you away or tease you for being such an idiot that still likes him even after he left you and—
Then he's laughing. Deep chuckles vibrating against your cheek as he pulls you into a bear hug and you're smushed up against his chest and breathing in his woody cologne until you're laughing with relief too.
"It's good to see you too, Y/N." He says when he finally lets you go and maybe he's just cold but you're sure there's a trace of a blush on his own nose as he shoves his hands deep into his pockets like he can't trust them not to reach out and grab you again. "Really good."
"Hey Kim Seokjin, stop flirting and get your ass over here stat!"
Seokjin's eyes roll in unison with your own when none other than Park Jimin's voice ruins the moment. When you both turn and find him leaning over the barrier of the ice rink, beckoning Seokjin with a single finger, you cant help but snort at the exasperated sigh that leaves the boy beside you.
"Will he ever give me a break?" Seokjin mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose and mouthing sorry as he nods his head to signal for you to join him. Jimin offers you both a salute in greeting.
"Captain," Jimin practically snarls around the word, contempt evident in his voice despite the grin plastered to his face. It only grows when he turns his attention to you. "And sweet little figure skating champion Y/N — oh wait!" He must see the way your face drops because he can't conceal the laughter that bubbles up next. "Whoops. Did I say something wrong?"
Seokjin looks between you and Jimin with confusion which quickly turns to concern when he sees the way your fists have started to shake. His hand falls to the small of your back and you briefly feel all your anger rinse away.
"Lets just go, Y/N—"
Jimin seems to have other ideas. "Hey Seokjin! Did you hear about Y/N's little...accident?" He calls. You stiffen and Seokjin finally meets Jimin's gaze head on, somewhat curious. "It happened right here on this very rink. The day before nationals, right princess?" Jimin waits for you to nod before he continues. "I'm sure she can fill you in on what happened while you two flirt like school girls. Maybe then you'll understand why she feels the need to make everyone around her miserable. Because her injuries healed but she's still broken."
A gasp comes from somewhere behind Jimin and you instantly recognise it as belonging to Seulgi who has just skated into the middle of the battle ground. She's not the only one who looks surprised — a couple members of the hockey team flash you sympathetic looks. It drives you crazy. You hate being their goddamn reason to throw a pity party.
"Even after my accident I can still skate better than you ever will Park," You spit. "And don't you forget it."
Jimin's eyes glint with something dark and you swallow thickly. Oh no.
"Then how about you prove it to all of us, huh?" He smirks when you just gape at him, the implications of his words sending a chill down your spine. Jimin pretends to tap the non existent watch on his wrist when you stay rooted in place with wide eyes."We haven't got all day. You gonna get your skates or what?"
Get your skates on. Right now?
"Okay." You wince at how timid your voice sounds, not even able to enjoy the surprise on Jimin's face because of the fear tightening like a coil in your stomach as you let your feet carry you over to the rack of rental skates.
When you reach for your favourite pair — your old favourite pair — you find your hands are shaking uncontrollably. They don't stop even as you somehow manage to slip them onto your feet and clomp back over to the edge of the rink where Jimin waits with a cheshire grin and Seokjin and Seulgi rush forward to stop you from taking another step as soon as they see the way your breathing has quickened and your practically gasping for air now. When did it get so hot in here?
"Y/N I really don't think this is a good idea, you don't have to—" Seulgi starts, but you brush her off, determined to prove Jimin wrong.
Sure, it has been nearly a year since you last got on the ice without falling into a panic attack. Sure, your heart is racing so fast at the thought of the blades beneath your feet touching the frozen surface you can feel it in your throat. Sure, you still let yourself cry sometimes when it's late and Seulgi's fast asleep and you wake up from a dream where you're skating and you're free and then the icy bitterness of reality sets in and you remember that's all gone now.
But you're not broken right? You can't be.
No. I'm not broken.
You grit your teeth. "I can do it."
I'm not broken.
Your knuckles whiten with how hard you're gripping the barrier as you drag your feet closer to the edge of the ice.
"Then what are you waiting for?"
I'm not broken.
Your vision starts to blur into a swirl of Christmas lights and ice skates and Park Jimin's stupid grin.
You squeeze your eyes shut as the tip of your blade touches the ice and then—
"Stop!"
An arm curls around your waist and pulls you back. You let out a sigh of relief. It's Seokjin and he's holding you upright now as you clutch your chest and try to breathe, determined to stop angry tears from slipping down your cheeks.
You're broken. Utterly and completely. Jimin was right.
"Back off, Park." Seokjin barks and you're aware of how Jimin is clutching his stomach, laughter spilling from his lips as Seulgi stares on nervously.
"Why? Because you know I'm gonna steal your scholarship at the Christmas Eve game?"
Seokjin scoffs. "Because you're being kind of an ass right now. Come on, Y/N, grab your coat."
"Why?" You manage to splutter, still needing Seokjin's support as he pulls you behind him to the locker rooms.
"We're getting out of here."
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The sky has faded to a deep blue-black when you push out of the ice rink into the chilly winter evening beside Seokjin.
You pull your coat tighter around your chin, unsure if the way your limbs shiver is because of the December weather or the fear still lingering in the pit of your stomach.
Seokjin's presence beside you is comforting. It brings you back to reality somewhat. He doesn't mention the earlier tension between you, just flashes you a small smile instead. "Come on. Let's get warmed up."
The Christmas lights strung between lamp posts above your heads provide a subtle glow that makes his eyes softly gleam as he offers you a glove covered hand just like he used to, all those years ago before he left. With a shy glance you slide your hand into his, cheeks burning, but grateful for the feeling of Seokjin squeezing your hand reassuringly, grounding you like lead to a balloon.
Maybe you would regret it tomorrow when you remember that this wasn't going to last and he was inevitably going to leave you again. But old habits die hard and you can't resist the natural feeling of mutual comfort that settles between you like a warm hug from nostalgia.
Seokjin pulls you behind him to join the throng of people in woollen scarves and fuzzy earmuffs making their towards the annual Christmas market your town always throws to celebrate the holidays. The entire street is alive with joyous laughter and twinkling lights, the smell of freshly baked mince pies mixed with pine wreaths soothing you instantly.
Seokjin buys you both a cup of steaming mulled wine from one of the cozy market stalls with thatched roofs playing tinny Christmas tunes. You take it from him graciously, thankful for the fuzzy warmth it provides as you breathe in the festive aroma.
You walk together in a comfortable silence, enjoying the way Seokjin's arm brushes against yours sometimes and how he always blushes when it does. He keeps looking at you like he wants to say something but doesn't know how, resorting to sipping the hot liquid he cradles between his palms instead as if to stop the words from tumbling out without permission.
You're about to tease him for it, ask him to spit it out, whatever it is, or forever hold his peace — but then you see it.
Across the street sits a quaint shop with a SANTA STOP HERE sign on the door. It's decorated just as festively as the rest and would have blended in to the picturesque scene had it not been for the thing on display which catches your eye.
Before you know it you are wandering up to the window with wide eyes, breath fogging up the glass as you take in the pair of pearly white ice skates glaring at you from behind your own reflection. They're tied up neatly with a red bow inside the store's display and they seem to sparkle beneath the twinkling Christmas decorations like they're covered in thousands of tiny snow flakes. The sight nearly takes your breath away.
You can almost hear the way the blades would scrape the ice just the way you liked it, how the cold air would make your eyes water as they carried you around the rink. How the satin interior would never rub your toes and the fur trim would hug your ankles just right.
A pair of skates like these were supposed to belong to one of the pretty professional figure skaters you could never quite keep up with when you were on the ice, routines so rehearsed they could be free styling to the inexperienced eye, silver laces complimenting their daintily sequinned bodysuits.
Not someone who only has plain bodices and rental skates and wears ugly burns on their knees from hitting the ice too hard. Not someone like you.
Besides, you promised yourself you would never pick up another pair of skates again. What is the point in dreaming?
"So..." Seokjin starts, blowing at the steam swirling from his paper cup. "What happened back there? You seemed kinda freaked out."
You freeze. Seokjin shifts. "You miss skating huh?"
You drop your eyes to the liquid in your cup. Were you that easy to read? Or did Seokjin just remember you better than you realised?
"Mhm." It comes out a little choked but you force a smile, hoping he'll believe it even if it doesn't quite meet your eyes. "But I'm a law major now. Don't have a ton of time for competing anymore."
It isn't a complete lie. You are a law major now, much to the pride of your family who always thought skating was a waste of time anyway.
But becoming a lawyer isn't your dream. It was your back up plan. Because your dream of being a competitive skater will never come true now and you had to accept it somehow. Throwing yourself into classes and deadlines seemed like the best way to keep your mind occupied, even if it doesn't make you forget your troubles in the same way skating used to.
"Sounds boring."
You shrug. "Sometimes."
Seokjin narrows his eyes. "But I know you, remember? The Y/N I knew always had time for skating. Did...did something really happen?"
You bite your lip, glassy tears fogging up your vision. God, you told yourself long ago to stop crying every time someone brought up the accident. When you wipe at your eyes harshly with the back of your hand you hear Seokjin suck in a nervous breath.
"You don't have to tell me, I'm sorry for bringing it up—"
"No! No it's okay." You shake your head with a loud sniff. "It's me, not you. It happened a few days before I was due to leave for nationals. I was practicing at the rink with Seulgi like usual and the next thing I know I'm lying in a hospital bed with my leg in a cast." You sigh, a twinge of pain running up your leg as you remember the stiff feeling of the cast. "I don't even remember what happened, not really. Seulgi said I hit my head pretty hard. Haven't been out on the ice since."
"I'm sorry." Seokjin's eyes soften and his hand hovers over yours like he wants to comfort you but doesn't know how. "I can't imagine not being able to skate, I think I'd...I think I'd go crazy."
You shrug. "You get used to it after a while." A lie. "It doesn't matter anyway." Another lie. "Besides, it's not like I can't skate, my leg healed just like they said it would. I'm just..."
"Scared." Seokjin finishes. You feel a flush of embarrassment rush to your cheeks as you nod carefully. You've never told anyone this. Not even Seulgi. But something tells you Seokjin would understand.
"I want to skate again so badly. Like with every bone in my body badly. But every time I even get near the ice I just...freeze up like I did earlier at the rink." Your head falls into your palms, self condemnation evident in the spiteful laugh you afford to your own weakness. "Ugh you must think I suck so bad."
A group of carollers stroll by merrily and you're grateful that their rendition of Silent Night catches Seokjin's attention and covers up your embarrassingly loud sniffle.
"I don't think you suck." Seokjin says eventually, blowing on his hands to warm them up. "It's natural to be scared, especially after something like that. A wise person once taught me that even the best skaters are terrified to fall. It's part of the fun."
You flash him a small smile. The accident still feels raw though and you're eager to change the subject swiftly.
"What about you? Any grand plans for the future?"
Seokjin scratches the back of his neck bashfully. He never did like being boastful. "Took a year out so I could practice playing ice hockey. You've heard about the Christmas Eve game right? The scholarship board is gonna be there.
"Who would've thought that the Kim Seokjin, worst skater in town, would end up being captain of the team?"
He punches your shoulder playfully. "Hey! I wasn't that bad."
"You don't remember falling on your ass every time I tried to show you how to skate?"
Seokjin rolls his eyes. "Well a wise person once told me that being a real skater means being able to pick yourself up each time you fall." He rubs his chin playfully. "And something about getting a cold ass."
You scoff, somehow embarrassed that Seokjin had remembered the words you spoke all those years ago. Embarrassed at how weak you have become since then. "She sounds like an idiot."
"A wise idiot."
You shake your head fondly. Seokjin's laugh is warm and it makes you feel all fuzzy, like just for a moment the cavity in your chest is full. You realise then just how much you missed it. How much you missed him.
When you drag your attention away from the skates on display, your wandering eyes catch a glimpse of the Christmas fairground in the shop window's reflection. You let out a gasp, tipping your head back to look up at the giant ferris wheel that lights up with a million different rainbow colours like a firework against the dark blanket of night.
"You wanna go for a ride?" Seokjin asks, looking somewhat amused.
"Can we?" You're fully aware of just how childlike you must sound right know but the gleeful glint in Seokjin's eyes puts you at ease instantly, a smile lighting up his features that is brighter than all the Christmas lights around you. It's enough to make your stomach do somersaults.
You furrow your brows when Seokjin suddenly takes off into a run, scarf trailing behind him in the wind. "Last one there has to pay for our tickets!"
"What? Hey!"
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Before you know it you're climbing into one of the tiny ferris wheel cubicles after begrudgingly paying for both of your tickets, the space between you and Seokjin so slim your knees touch. The ride feels shakier than it looked from the ground and you let out a shriek as it stutters to life, the cubicle rocking back and forth lightly as you begin to raise into the air.
Seokjin appears startled. "What's wrong?"
You weren't expecting the ride to go this high. Perhaps your crippling fear of heights would have been a good thing to mention before you got on.
"Falling." You manage to choke, hands gripping the safety pole so tight your knuckles turn white. "Scared of falling."
"Hey. C'mere." A mitten covered hand engulfs your own. It feels familiar, comforting. Your breathing instantly slows when Seokjin squeezes your fingers tightly. "I won't let you fall."
"Promise?" You whisper, still not convinced as you watch the people on the ground below get smaller and smaller.
"Promise." Seokjin chuckles. "Hey! Look!"
You manage to lift your gaze to where Seokjin's finger points, all fear melting away like snow when you lay eyes on the view of the town stretching out before you like tiny pieces of a toy village. The location gives you a perfect view of the giant Christmas tree that has been set up in town, decked with golden tinsel and shiny baubles alongside the thin layer of frosty snow that glimmers on rooftops and church steeples like a thousand stars.
"Woah." A gasp leaves you involuntarily. "It looks so..."
"Beautiful." Seokjin finishes your sentence with a smile but when you turn you find him staring straight at you. A blush caresses his cheeks. He coughs bashfully and you're reminded of the younger, shyer Seokjin you used to teach to skate at the ice rink.
The Ferris wheel comes to a halt when your cubicle reaches the very top. You smush your nose against the safety glass. If you squint you can just about make out the ice rink in the distance, along with an abundance of skaters gliding serenely across the ice. For a moment your heart leaps and you long to be down there, flying and spinning beside them, but then you remember the accident and you sink back with a frown.
Seokjin's velvety tone beside you brings you back down. "It's because of you, y'know."
"Huh?" You blink.
"You're the reason I started skating in the first place. I'd never be captain if you weren't such a good teacher."
You snort lightly. "If I'm such a good teacher how come I can't even skate anymore myself?"
Seokjin's smile is pitying but determined. He holds out his hand as if he wants you to shake it and you furrow your brows in confusion.
"Do you trust me?"
"Yeah...why?" Suddenly the cubicle starts moving back down and you are thrown into a less than graceful heap directly into Seokjin's lap. "Oh!"
"Woah there..." Seokjin's arms curl around your torso instantly, bigger and stronger than you remembered them being. You're hit with the scent of his laundry detergent and the lightly minty whisper of his breath across your cheek when you turn and find yourself nose to nose with him. "Be careful, skater girl."
A flush caresses your cheeks and this time it's not because of the cold. "I trust you!" You rush.
"Promise?" His breath is warm when it ghosts across your lips.
"Promise."
He just stares at you for a few seconds before you realise you're pressed so close to his chest that he can probably feel the way your heart is beating faster than one of those mechanical Little Drummer Boy decorations.
You cough and slide off his lap into the space beside him, muttering a few awkward sorry's and instantly missing his warmth when your fingers curl around the cold metal pole instead.
Seokjin's grin doesn't leave his face until you're both safely on the ground again and it only grows when you let him slide his hand into yours after he lifts you free from the death trap of a Ferris wheel and your boots collide with the sweet, sweet tarmac.
"Good. Because I have an idea."
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"Remind me," Seokjin grunts as he hoists himself over the college campus gate, the locks and chains holding them together rattling under his weight before his feet land neatly on the other side. "Is trespassing illegal, little miss law student?"
"Very." You follow his previous actions, nimbly climbing the railings before letting Seokjin lift you to the ground on the other side. "Why are we here, anyway?"
His breath is visible against the darkening night as he pulls a key from his pocket, dangling it in front of your face teasingly. "Being team captain has some...perks."
"Perks? What kind of perks — Seokjin, wait up!" Before he can answer your question, he's already flattened himself against the brick wall with a sly smirk, looking both ways before sliding around the corner like a shitty MI5 agent. You stay put, arms crossed stubbornly, before Seokjin's arm appears from the dark mouth of the corner and drags you behind him with a yelp.
"Just trust me, okay?" Seokjin starts with a smile, but not before his face is draining of colour and he's lowering his voice to a harsh whisper. "Shit! I forgot about the cameras..."
"Cameras?" You squeak, following his gaze up towards the CCTV camera pointed toward the entrance a few feet away, like it's a predator waiting to catch its prey. "Seokjin! We can't get caught, you could lose your chance at a scholarship and I could get kicked out and—"
"Chill, we've got this. I've done this hundreds of times!" Seokjin's eyes flit to the ground when you raise an eyebrow at him. "Just, you know, to practice and stuff. Not with other girls or anything. Not that there are other girls! Just you. Because you're the only girl that I ever — never mind..."
A few moments pass in silence as you just blink at him  while he scratches the back of his neck. Watching him toe the dirt with his shoe sheepishly has a small smile growing on your face and all your inhibitions get thrown to the wind as quickly as your heart has started to race.
"I trust you." Seokjin looks up hopefully. "Let's do it."
He practically punches the air at your unreserved participation. "Here. Put this on." He yanks the green winter hat off his head, revealing his cutely dishevelled hat hair, and pulls the fabric down over your head roughly.
"Hey! Watch it. I can't see!"
He just laughs, thumbs pushing back the material to reveal your eyes, the fond curve of his lips coming into view when your vision adjusts. His hand pats the bobble on the end of the hat amusedly, like he's satisfied with his work. You pout. "What? It looks cute. Now come on, keep your head down and no one will ever know it's us."
You shoot a final wide eyed glance at the camera. You had already lost one dream and you couldn't afford to lose another. And if you lost it because of your own stupidity...
To your surprise, Seokjin's mitten covered hand slides into yours and its the feeling of his big palm enveloping your own that brings you back down. Something about the way he squeezes gently is comforting and fills you with a warmth that makes the December night feel a lot less chilly.
Seokjin smiles when you squeeze back. "Ready?"
"Ready."
And then, before you can change your mind, your feet are following Seokjin's as you run together in a fit of giggles past the cameras towards a back campus entrance, a funny feeling of elation fizzing through your veins as Seokjin swaps the hand he's holding so that he can use his dominant one to fiddle with the key in the lock.
"Remind me again, little miss law student." After a few tense heartbeats, the door swings open, and Seokjin flashes you a mischievous grin. "Is stealing the ice hockey coach's key so you can sneak in to the ice rink after dark illegal?"
Your eyes widen as he disappears into the dark entrance. "Very illeg- woah!"
Before you can protest, Seokjin's arms wrap around your waist, dragging you inside with him. Your hands curl around his neck automatically when he swings you around and around until you're both dizzy and spluttering with laughter in the darkness.
"Seokjin! Stop! Where are we?" You murmur into his hair when he finally sets you down on your feet, chests flush together as he backs up so that your shoulder blades press against the wall.
"Can I ask you something?" He whispers, suddenly serious. Your eyes have barely adjusted to the low light but you can tell his lips are inches from yours and you shiver when his warm breath tickles your nose.
Your hand instinctively reaches out to brush away the bangs covering his eyes, breath catching in your throat when Seokjin's brown pupils bore into your own, close enough to see the frost on his dark lashes.
"Of course," You manage to squeak, suddenly aware of how you've been holding your breath. "What is it?"
Did you miss me as much as I missed you? Can I kiss you?
You squeeze your eyes shut when his lips brush your forehead. He smells of minty shampoo and you're sure your heart is beating so fast it's going to escape from your chest any second. If you just lean up a little, place a hand on his shoulder and stand on your tippy toes...
"Why shouldn't you tell jokes while ice skating?" He whispers against your skin. His voice sounds hoarser than before and you notice the way his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows hard. Is he trying as hard as you are not to kiss him?
"Enlighten me." You breathe.
He keeps drawing ever closer and you pucker your lips...
"Because the ice might crack up."
Your eyes snap open just as he finishes leaning in, reaching over your shoulder to flick a switch that has the whole room lighting up before you.
Oh.
You're briefly disappointed until your eyes finally adjust, and you can't help but gasp at the sight akin to a winter wonderland before you. Strings of Christmas lights are suspended carefully over the familiar campus ice rink you know and love, glimmering like multicoloured snowflakes in the ice's reflection. The bleachers are lined with frosted Christmas trees flashing with silver tinsel and baubles that glint like river-light against the night.
You bite your lip but that doesn't stop elated laughter from escaping you, throwing your arms around Seokjin's neck, his own deep chuckle joining in when he staggers and barely keeps his balance.
"I've missed you." You say when you finally come down and you're both just staring at each other giddily now.
"Even the dad jokes?" The nod into his neck in confirmation makes Seokjin punch the air, though his laugh suddenly trails off and he starts to wring his hands nervously a moment later. "You might regret saying that when I tell you why we're here..."
"Seokjin?"
He flashes you a sheepish smile.
"Surprise! I'm gonna teach you how to skate again!"
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"Absolutely not!"
"Come on, you said you trusted me remember?" You feel the colour drain from your face, Seokjin's fingers tightening around your wrist when you try to back step. "I can tell how much you miss it, don't you wanna be able to perform again?"
The memory of how it felt to glide around the ice is enough to make you shiver, a longing settling in your stomach for the cheers of the crowd as you land a perfect jump mingling with your skates scraping the ice.
For the feeling of being free again. That's what you miss more than anything in the world.
"I do." You bite your lip. "But..."
"But?"
"But I'm broken, Seokjin! Just like Jimin said."
"Hey. Look at me." Seokjin whispers when you turn away, probably able to see the glassiness of your eyes as his forefinger bumps beneath your chin. "You're not broken, okay? You're just scared."
You hug your torso. "Well duh. What if something happens? What if I fall again but this time my injuries don't heal? Or worse what if you fall—?"
Seokjin squeezes your shoulders gently and you realise that you're rambling. You trail off when you find him smiling at you reassuringly. "Listen. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. It's completely up to you. But if you do decide to start skating again, I promise I'll be there to pick you back up when you fall okay? Just like you did with me."
A sudden confidence grips you. Freedom feels so close again you could touch it. Who better to experience it with than Seokjin?
"Okay. Let's do it. I want to skate again."
Before you know it you're sat on the bleachers, sliding your feet into a pair of skates Seokjin retrieved from the lost and found closet. Your shaky fingers pause when they find the laces. Seokjin's warmth appears beside you.
"You okay?"
He's frowning and you realise your teeth are chattering with nerves. "Mhm. Just cold."
"You can be honest with me, you know." Seokjin gets to his knees and gently swats away your hands from your skates, his own fingers deftly stringing the laces. "I know this must be hard for you."
"I'm just nervous." You swallow.
"I'll be by your side the entire time." Seokjin assures. "And if you even come close to falling I'll catch you. I'm not captain of the team for nothing right?"
You snort and kick him with the toe of your skate teasingly. Seokjin's tongue pokes out of the corner of his chapped lips as he concentrates on tying your laces into a neat bow, glancing up at you to check they're tight enough and flushing when he meets your gaze head on. It's endearing and gets your heart racing, and not just with anticipation or nerves any more.
"Promise?" Your voice shakes.
His hand covers yours in your lap. It's mitten covered and warm against your frost bitten skin. "Promise." He scratches his neck. "But if you want to back out at any time just tell me and we can forget this ever happened—"
"No!" You quip, squeezing his shoulder. "I want to do this. With you."
Seokjin flashes you a smile and offers you his elbow. "Then what are we waiting for?"
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Panic rises like bile in your throat as you get closer and closer to the the rink.
"No, no, no." You freeze up. "I can't!"
"You can." Seokjin insists, wrapping an arm around your waist as he guides you to the very edge. "Just don't think about it too much."
Don't think about it? How can you not think about it when your heart is beating a million miles an hour and your vision is blurring and you feel like you're going to pass out every time your body tells you to run run run as far away from the danger as possible?
"Look." Seokjin uses the barrier to lift himself onto the ice, sliding his feet back and forth to convince you. "I'm okay, right? Haven't fallen yet."
"Yet." You swallow, gripping the barrier to keep your balance even though you're still stood on solid ground.
"I won't." He offers you a hand. "Now come on. It's your turn."
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You'll be fine if you just stand on the ice right? Baby steps.
Your palm slides into his and before you can change your mind you're launching yourself forward, eyes squeezed shut as you simply glide straight ahead into Seokjin's open arms. Relief washes over you when he holds you tight and you're safe again, one eye opening carefully to check you're really balancing on the ice and not a pile of limbs on the ground.
"See! That wasn't so bad right?" You shake your head. "Now you just gotta remember how to move..."
Your eyes widen. "Seokjin, I think this is enough for today—"
"Wait!" Seokjin fiddles with the zipper of his pocket to retrieve his phone, removing one of his gloves so he can tap at the screen. "We can't do this without music."
A few seconds later Seokjin is pressing play on a slow track he has downloaded on his phone and sliding one of his earbuds into your ear, the other into his own. You recognise it instantly as it's the same one you used to perform to when he begged you to teach him a routine five years ago. He grabs you by the arm again and smiles, big and bright. "Perfect. Ready?"
You're squeezing Seokjin's hand so tight you're sure the circulation to his fingers must be cutting off but he doesn't say anything, just keeps his other hand protectively at the small of your back as you slowly start to slacken your vice like grip on the barrier.
To your surprise, your feet move without you telling them too, naturally gliding along the slippery surface as if they've never been away from it. Muscle memory, you figure, as you find yourself beginning to gain some speed.
"I'm doing it!" You pant, relief washing over you as the breeze hits your face. "I can't believe I'm doing it!"
Your eyes are glued to Seokjin's skates, focusing hard on moving your own in time with his every step. You feel his chuckle vibrate through you and you don't even have to look up to know his eyes are shining.
"See? I knew you could."
The music humming through the headphones reaches its pivotal moment and you've done this routine so many times you know what move comes next. A one foot spin.
A bout of fear ripples through you again but Seokjin's right there to soothe you when he sees your eyes widening as he starts to twirl you around. "Just let go!"
"Let go." You repeat to yourself, finally taking your fingers away from the barrier as you lift one skate from the ice and begin to spin and spin and spin until the cold wind burns your skin and you're so dizzy you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You don't even notice the music has stopped until you come to a shaky standstill. You're gasping for breath and Seokjin is just staring at you, mouth open.
"Damn. I forgot how good you are."
"Shut up." You're grinning now, elation coursing through every fibre of your being. "Let's go again! — ah!"
All the spinning messed with your vision and it feels like everything goes into slow motion as your legs crumble beneath your weight and your body collides with the cold ice. All you can hear is your heart, pumping into overdrive with fear as you close your eyes and brace for the pain in your leg to begin.
Except confusion settles in the pit of your stomach when it never does. You wriggle you're toes, relieved that they seem to still work and then you're sitting up in a daze.
Seokjin's face appears over yours, eyes filled with fear as he pulls your head into his lap. "Are you hurt? I'm so sorry Y/N, I never should have brought you here, this was a bad idea—"
Exhilarated laughter interrupts his concerned rambling and before you know it you're clutching your stomach and wiping happy tears from your eyes.
You're not broken! You're. Not. Broken. And for the first time since the accident you feel free again, like all the anger and hurt and sadness inside you just melted away to nothing.
"Huh? Did you hit your head?" He asks confused, coughing bashfully when you throw your arms tightly around his neck.
"Thank you! For bringing me here. Can we go again?"
Seokjin helps you to your feet but stops you from getting ahead of yourself. "I think this was enough for today but how about we agree to meet here again tomorrow at say...3PM?"
You reach out a now steady hand for him to shake. "Deal."
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The next few weeks fly by when you have skating with Seokjin to look forward to every day.
As time goes by you start to regain your confidence, the panic that used to paralyse you whenever you set foot on the ice dissipating whenever Seokjin was around to reassure you.
You feel lighter than ever, like you're on top of the world. It's like everything is falling into place again. You have your skating back but more importantly you have Seokjin. And just being with him is like you're going at full speed on the ice, adrenaline and freedom coursing through you even when you're stood still.
It's like time stops when you're together just you and him and the ice, and that's how Seokjin finds himself running across campus in his ice hockey gear, late for practice again.
"So much for being a 'good captain.' Seokjin doesn't even turn up and he gets a college scholarship?" Park Jimin rolls his eyes at Jennie who is perched on his knee. Since Seulgi cut things off with him after his little show at the parade they've been pretty cosy, mostly because of their shared hatred for you and Seokjin respectively. "It's all that girl's fault."
"Who? Y/N?" Jennie says. "Ugh, I know. She's so full of it. I swear she thinks she's some pro skater or something."
"I mean, she is pretty good." Jimin confesses, stroking Jennie's thigh when she furrows her brows, smiling meekly. "But you're better, obviously."
"I don't know." She murmurs with a huff. "I was kinda glad when she stopped skating, y'know, because it meant that I was top of the league again. If she starts competing again..."
Jimin's eyes suddenly brighten with an idea. "Then we only have one option."
"What?"
"For me to become captain and for you to stay at the top, we gotta finish them once and for all."
"I like your thinking." Jennie purrs, but not before Seokjin runs into the campus locker rooms, out of breath as he fastens his ice hockey helmet around his chin.
"Sorry I'm late! I promise it won't happen—"
"Again?" Jimin scoffs, gesturing around at the rest of the team who are packing up their things. "Dude, you missed the whole of practice. We couldn't wait any longer so we had to start without you. Without our captain."
Seokjin throws his duffel bag into his locker, slamming the door shut a little too harshly. "And I said I'm sorry." A hush falls over the room, all eyes landing on the pair locked in a stare out. "I'll go practice now to make up for it, okay?"
He's hardly through the door when he hears Jimin snicker under his breath to Jennie. "This is why I'm telling coach he shoulda made me captain."
Seokjin freezes. "What did you say, Park?"
Jimin lets out a deep chuckle, standing up and squaring his shoulders though he's still a couple feet shorter than Seokjin. "I said that you're a shitty captain and I'm gonna take your place and your scholarship at the game on Christmas Eve."
"With your technique?" Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose. "Tell me a funnier joke, Jimin."
"The only joke is your pathetic excuse for a skater girlfriend," Jennie spits, appearing behind Jimin and wrapping her arm around his waist in solidarity. "Maybe if you spent more time with your actual team instead of teaching that lost cause to ice skate you wouldn't feel so threatened."
"I'm not threatened." Seokjin clenches his fists. "...and she's not my girlfriend."
"Then prove it."
The contours of his face harden, jaw tense and shaking with a desire to set Park Jimin well and truly straight clouding his rationality as words he doesn't mean come flying out of his mouth before he can think better of it.
"Y/N means nothing to me, okay? I'm just teaching her to skate again because I feel bad about her accident." A finger pokes Jimin's chest harshly. Jennie seems startled. "And you're right. Maybe it is getting in the way of my focus. But guess what? From now on I'm only gonna be focused on beating your ass at the game on Christmas Eve and taking the scholarship that belongs to me."
"What?" A small voice sounds somewhere behind him and when Seokjin turns he finds you stood clutching the red scarf he left behind at the rink.
He can tell by the paleness of your face and the way your lip quivers that you heard everything. And before he can reach for you and explain, you're fleeing from the rink in a flood of angry tears for ever letting Seokjin melt the ice in your heart, even for a second.
"Y/N! Please wait!" Seokjin tugs at his hair exasperatedly, turning back to Jimin who is clapping with a dark smile.
"Looks like you have a choice to make, Seokjin."
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"Go away, Seulgi." You grumble as your blanket cocoon is ripped away from your body. You hear the footsteps of your best friend patter across the carpet to the window, the light that floods into the room when she rips open the drapes making you groan. "It's too bright."
"Come on, time to get up!" You yelp when a perfectly manicured hand wraps around your ankle, dragging you away from the warmth and comfort of the body-shaped dent in your mattress. "This situation officially requires an intervention! And as your best friend I am taking it upon myself to get your ass out of bed."
It's been almost a week since you last saw Seokjin. Almost a week since he crushed your heart like glass and stamped on the shattered remains and threw them into the garbage disposal when you found out you were just his charity case and nothing more.
And more importantly, it's been almost a week since you realised just how real your feelings were for him. Are for him.
After a small struggle Seulgi wins, despite how erratically you kick your legs in a bid to break free from her grip, and you end up landing with a thud in a pile of blankets and throw cushions on the floor. You rub your eyes with a sigh. "An intervention?"
"Yeah. It's been, like, a whole week since I've seen you leave this room Y/N. I have skating practice in half an hour and you're coming with."
Seulgi gets down cross legged, shuffling up beside you and pulling the blanket over both of your laps. When you finally blink at her blearily for the first time you see her flame-like hair has been scraped back into a tight ponytail and she's wearing a matching mesh skating outfit, clearly ready for practice.
"Thanks but no thanks." You snort. "As much as that sounds thrilling I'm good here."
Seulgi shakes her head and prods your shoulder, sing song voice hardening into a lecture. "You can't hibernate forever, Y/N."
"Can too." Your fingers find a loose thread in the throw cushion in your lap, picking at it mercilessly to avoid looking your best friend in the face for fear that she would see through your facade. "I like hibernating. It's fun."
"Fun?" Seulgi rolls her eyes. A few seconds pass before she lets out a gentle sigh, her voice softening. "Listen...have you spoken to Seokjin yet—"
You wince. Just the mention of Seokjin makes your heart pang.
"No." Your voice wavers. "And I'm not planning on it. How can I after what happened?" Finally allowing yourself to talk about it feels good and before you know it you're burying your head in your hands and letting everything go. "God, I'm so embarrassed, Seulgi."
"Oh, Y/N." Her hand rubs your back soothingly. "What really happened between you two? Why did you run?"
You swallow hard. "I just...got scared."
"Of skating again? You seemed to be doing better since you started training with Seokjin..."
"No. I was scared of..."
"Your feelings for him?"
You pause, unable to help the small smile that creeps onto your lips even despite the warm tears that have started to roll unceremoniously down your cheeks.
"How do you always manage to read my mind?"
"I'm your best friend remember?" Seulgi draws a line between your foreheads before she wraps her arms around your waist and lays her head on your shoulder. You squeeze her back, silently thanking her for being there when you need her. "Besides, it's not like you've been hiding it. Whenever he's around you go all heart eyes for him." She grimaces. "I'm starting to see why you used to complain about me and Jimin so much."
"Do not!" You grumble, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks when she shoots you an are you serious? look. "Okay fine, lets say theoretically I am all heart eyes for him? What's the point in even admitting it when everything is messed up now, anyway? He said it himself. He never felt the same way about me."
"Well, theoretically, I would tell you to just talk to him. Bottling up your feelings isn't gonna change anything. Besides, I think you still have a chance at making things right. I've seen him waiting around outside the rink after hours. For you."
You avert your eyes. Seokjin? Waiting outside the rink? For you?
"He was probably just passing by or something." You grumble with a shake of your head.
"Everyday this week?" She raises an eyebrow. "Seokjin is good for you, Y/N. You've been different since he turned up...good different. Back to the Y/N we all know and love."
"If you love me so much why won't you let me sleep for a little while longer?"
"Please, you know it's just because I need my honorary wingwoman back. Kim Taehyung is coming by the rink tonight." It's your turn to raise an eyebrow. Seulgi laughs. "Okay maybe it's because I love you a little bit. I think getting back to normal and being at the rink will lift your spirits. Whaddya say?"
You roll your eyes but Seulgi doesn't miss the curve of your lips. "Fine."
She claps her hands gleefully, jumping to her feet and rummaging through your closet. She throws a Christmas sweater at your head. "I'll be waiting in the car!" She skips out of the room, humming the tune of a vaguely recognisable Christmas song beneath her breath. You shake your head fondly when wisps of her red hair poke back around the doorframe a moment later. "Oh, and don't forget to dress warm. There's gonna be a blizzard tonight, remember?"
A few minutes later you're sat in front of your mirror, brushing the frizz out of your hair in a bid to look somewhat presentable when Seulgi knocks on your door again. You roll your eyes. She's always impatient.
"Uhh, Y/N?"
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" You yell, grabbing your coat. "Hang on!"
"There's someone here to see you."
Your bag drops to the carpet with a thump when you round the corner and see him stood on the doorstep.
"Seokjin?"
Well, you can't see much of him because he's wrapped head to toe in snow gear and he has a huge box in his arms with a red bow on top and there's snow all over his coat but seeing him again makes your chest constrict none the less.
Seulgi still has her fingers on the door handle and she's looking between the pair of you with wide eyes as you just stare long and hard. "Well, I guess I'll leave you two to it then." She sings, but it sounds squeaky and forced as she wraps a scarf around her neck, ready to face the blizzard outside. "Y/N, you know where I am if you need me."
You manage to get out a nod and then Seulgi is awkwardly shuffling around Seokjin who is blocking the doorway and seems to have forgotten how to use his feet.
It's not until the cold air from outside starts to permeate the cosy warmth from your crackling fire place that you realise Seokjin is really here — and he's still standing outside in the goddamn blizzard like he wants to become a human snowman.
His voice brings you back down with a jolt.
"Can I come inside?"
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Slanted shadows cascade across Seokjin's face as he peers through the blinds. The street outside is buried beneath a blanket of snow, and even from where you sit with your chin in your palm on the back of the couch you can see an icy flurry of flakes falling from the sky like frozen jewels beneath the glow of the street lights.
"Doesn't look like anyone's gonna be driving anywhere tonight." Seokjin murmurs. "This blizzard seems pretty severe."
You raise your eyebrow with a sigh. First Seokjin turns up on your doorstep unannounced, teeth chattering and covered in snow, and now he's gonna have to spend the night here? With you?
Seulgi sent you a text to let you know she was going to be staying with Taehyung for the night (wolf whistle) and follows up with some flirty emojis and a comment about enjoying your alone time with Seokjin which you can't see happening anytime soon what with the thick tension that sits heavy in the air.
Yeah, this could not get any more awkward, right?
Wrong.
"Thank you for the dry clothes." Seokjin gestures to the much-too-small hoodie that stretches across his torso and the jogging pants that barely reach his calves. The biggest items of clothing you could find in the clean laundry basket to replace his snow-sodden tshirt and jeans that had become transparent in some places by the time you invited him inside. If the situation weren't so tense you'd find it funny. "I thought you were gonna leave me out there all night and let me freeze to death for a minute."
You don't laugh, just keep your eyes on the dark swirls of hot cocoa you stir in two steaming mugs. He flashes you an awkward too soon? smile when you hand the largest mug to him, watching as he takes a grateful sip and sighs when it warms his insides.
A few seconds of silence pass interrupted only by the crackle of the blazing fire that creates orange flickering shadows over the contours of his face while you curl up on the opposite end of the couch beneath the patchwork blanket Seulgi bought you last December.
Finally you let out a sigh, looking at him properly for the first time. He seems worn around the edges, eyes ringed a little red as he fiddles with his fingers awkwardly. There's a pang in your chest.
"Why are you here, Jin?" The waver in your voice makes Seokjin's eyes soften at the corners. "I thought we were over. Whatever we were..."
"I wanted to talk to you."
You raise an eyebrow. "Couldn't you have waited until after the blizzard passed?"
"I needed to talk to you. To tell you the truth."
The truth. Did he really drive all the way over here just to rub it in that you meant nothing to him?
"What?" You scoff bitterly. "That you never really liked me? That I was just a joke to you this whole time?"
"No!" Seokjin reaches for you, some of his hot cocoa sloshing onto his pants in the process. He retracts his hand when you flinch. "That I'm a shitty, selfish idiot who got too caught up in his own drama to see what mattered most."
You dig your fingernails into your palm and promise yourself not to cry. "Then what about those things you said to Jennie, huh? Explain that."
"The scholarship." He tugs at a hangnail with his teeth, eyes filled with remorse. "When you saw me talking to Jimin that day he was trying to make me mad. He told me that if I kept skating with you..."
Suddenly it all makes sense. A wave of relief and realisation washes over you. It feels like your heart stutters back to life and you suck in a shaky breath.
"He'd tell the coach you weren't committed and get you kicked off the team." Seokjin nods and you instantly feel guilty that you didn't hear his side of the story before, fury towards Jimin burning up in your veins as you shake your fists. "That asshole! He's been mad this whole time that you got made captain instead of him and now he wants to ruin your chance at a scholarship? I have every mind to kick him in his tiny, useless—"
"I'm the asshole, Y/N." Seokjin tears you out of your rage as he leans forward and buries his face in his hands, shoulders quivering. "I let him get in my head and make me say things I didn't mean when I don't even care about the scholarship if..."
Your mouth is suddenly dry. "If what?"
He runs a hand through his hair carefully, finally lifting his gaze to lock with yours. "If I can't have you."
It's like you've been punched in he stomach but in the best way and you want to jump for joy or squeal like a goddamn school girl but all you can do is sit there with your mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.
"But now I've lost you again and this time it's for good and I'm so so sorry—"
Before you can think better of it you're planting your hands on Seokjin's broad shoulders, throwing your leg over his lap and crashing your lips together.
"Mmf!" It takes a couple seconds for Seokjin to catch up but when he does he lets out a tiny gasp, chest melting against yours as his lips finally move in sync with your own. "Oh."
The way he sighs into your mouth is like he's been waiting forever for this and you feel a similar sense of satisfaction, finally able to curb the craving for him that has been aching inside you for Seokjin for as long as you can remember.
"You haven't lost me." You pant when you bring yourself to break away for a breath. "And you're not an asshole. You've been working towards this scholarship for years so—"
It's his turn to cut you off now, Seokjin's fingers hooking beneath your chin and tilting your head towards him so that he can press his lips against yours in a tentative kiss, swallowing your words in transit.
It's slow and languid, the way he slots his plump bottom lip between yours, making you melt instantly. His cheeks feel warm and soft in your hands as you cup them, the action feeling somehow just as natural as the warmth blossoming in your chest when Seokjin moves his lips against your own with an impossible tenderness.
"I missed you so much." Your eyes are still squeezed shut when he places a peck to the tip of your nose, tucking a stray hair behind your ear as he forces you to look at him by bumping your chin playfully. "I'm sorry."
You pull him closer to you, so close you're sure he can feel the way your heart is beating like a drum. "Don't be. Just kick Jimin's ass at the game tomorrow, okay?"
"I can do that."
He smirks, leaning in for another kiss but hissing when his crotch brushes your thigh a little too directly that has a warmth pulsing between your legs when you feel the big problem he seems to be trying to hide.
You gasp. "Are you...?"
"Maybe..." A groan passes his lips and he tips his head back bashfully, unable to curb his smile when you start giggling into the crook of his neck. "What? I've been imagining this moment for years."
"Then hurry up and kiss me again, idiot."
This time the kiss is hungrier, tongue and teeth tangling together as his hands tighten in your hair. He tastes like hot cocoa and you can't help but groan when his tongue languidly brushes against yours, hips starting to press down into his teasingly.
"Need more, need you — oh!"
"A-are you sure? I'm good just kissing if you don't wanna..."
"No! I want to." You promise. "I trust you."
"Good." Seokjin's lips murmur next to your ear as his fingers dig into the underneath of your thighs, the hardness in his pants pressing against your stomach as he gets to his feet and you throw your legs around his waist with a squeal. "Because I don't think I could handle a whole night here with you like this." Seokjin's teeth pull at your bottom lip and you open your mouth to groan but Seokjin's eyes flutter closed and he ends up staggering straight into the elaborately arranged Christmas tree that Seulgi spent hours decorating. "Shit!"
You both freeze, staring at the mess of tinsel and lights scattered across the ground before you're shrugging your shoulders with a whoops! and guiding Seokjin to your bedroom as he chuckles beneath you. The decorations can be cleaned up later but you need Seokjin now.
Throw cushions soften the blow as you're dropped onto the bed and Seokjin crawls over you, parting your legs with his knee and wasting no time in attacking your neck with his lips. He smirks against your collar bone when you shiver as his hands creep up the hem of your sweater and you rotate your hips impatiently against his thigh, desperate for some relief from the throbbing ache in your heat.
"Can I?" You nod and he wastes no time lifting the garment over your head and you reach behind to unclasp your bra, a shaky breath leaving Seokjin when his eyes roam across your bare breasts, sitting back against his heels to drink in every inch of skin.
"You're beautiful." A heat rises in your cheeks when he attaches his lips to your hardened nipple, lavving his tongue over the bud, a groan tumbling from his chest when you tangle your hands in his hair and arch your back, desperate for more.
"Please." You whimper, hands feeling for the waistband of his sweats when he comes up for air with a pop. "Wanna feel you."
The rise and fall of his chest quickens when your warm palm grasps him over the fabric, pads of his fingers tightening around your thigh when you sit up so you can slip your hand into his boxers, letting out a moan of your own when your fingers finally wrap around the girth of him.
He's hot and hard and heavy in your palm and your heart skips a beat when your thumb spreads the bead of precum leaking from his tip down his shaft, the slick movement of your hand as you begin to stroke him increasingly faster making his head fall into the crook of your neck.
"F-fuck Y/N." He bucks up into your fist and you smirk. "F-feels so good. Been imagining this."
"Me too." You confess, giggling when he grabs your wrist and flips you over so he can press you into the mattress again. "Can't believe this is happening."
"Me either." His fingertips run down your sides tentatively, hooking beneath the band of your jeans which are quickly stripped away and thrown across the room with a grin. He stops when he gets to your panties though, glancing up through his dark lashes, eyes ever gentle and filled with a combination of lust and fondness that you know you'll never be able to get enough of. "Are you sure?"
Your heart thumps with anticipation as you nod, pulling him down to connect your lips. "I'm sure." And with your confirmation Seokjin is dragging the lacy fabric down your bare legs slowly until they join the rest of your clothes on the floor.
Seokjin's eyes dip between your legs when you part them shyly, an involuntary oh my god slipping past his lips when he sees how your folds glisten with wetness, palm coming between your legs so you can grind your neglected clit against the heel of it while he slips a finger into your tight heat.
"Oh!" The intrusion makes you writhe, on one hand grateful for some relief but on the other ever more eager to feel fuller. The pads of his fingers drag against your walls deliciously and the pressure on your clit is just right and you feel your climax steadily build between your legs. "Wait!"
Seokjin pauses and you take advantage of his momentary confusion by flipping him onto his back, bracing your hands on his chest. "Wanna make you feel good too."
"H-how..." Seokjin starts, but then your hand is wrapping around his cock and lining the tip up with your entrance before sinking down to the hilt with a soft exhale that mingles with Seokjin's. "Fuck."
It takes a couple seconds for you to adjust to the size of him and you rest your cheek on his chest, listening to the way his heart beats uncontrollably. His fingers stroke your hair and you feel so overwhelmed with warmth that you're sure of it now; you're in love with Kim Seokjin.
"Ready?" His nod is eager and when you start to move your hips his head throws back into the pillows and you can see the way his adams apple bobs every time his cock nearly falls out of your heat before your slamming back down again in a steady rhythm.
Eventually you feel the coil in your belly start to tighten again, eyes rolling back as you lose yourself to the feeling of his cock hitting your sweet spot with every thrust and you're a mess of whimpers and breathy moans. Seokjin's big palms come up to cup your ass, holding you steady so he can pound his own hips up to meet your movements at an even faster pace than before.
"Seokjin!" You cry, bracing yourself with a hand on the wall behind the bed. The angle has your clit grinding against his pubic bone with every upward thrust and before you know it you're shuddering and reaching your high, vision turning black as you feel your walls tighten impossibly hard around Seokjin, the action enough to have him falling over the edge with you.
A few seconds pass where your pants of satisfaction just mingle together before Seokjin is cupping your face and whispering the three words you've always wanted to hear against your lips.
"I love you." He croaks, the sincerity in his voice making the corners of your lips turn up. And in that moment you feel the last pieces of your heart flutter into his hands and you know you are undeniably, irrevocably, forever and always his.
Seokjin suddenly flips you onto your back, leaving a series of playful kisses all over your face, each punctuated by a sillier "I love you!" until you're pushing him away by the chest and snuggling up into his side instead, head on his arm where you feel so safe and warm you never want to leave.
"Can I ask you something?" You whisper shyly. He nods, eyes falling shut as he plays with your hair contentedly.
"Why did you leave without telling me before?"
Seokjin brushes your noses together. "Because I knew I wouldn't be able to leave if you told me not to go."
You smile up at him, thumb tracing his jaw fondly. "You cheesy idiot."
Realisation flashes across his face. "Wait! I forgot about the cheesiest thing yet." You groan when he throws the covers off, assaulting you with a blast of cold air as he pulls his pants back on and disappears back into the living room. His head pokes around the doorframe cheekily, something hidden behind his back as he stalks back over to the bed, eyes glinting. "I got you something."
You furrow your brows when he produces the large box from earlier, now able to read your own name scrawled across the gift tag in his messy handwriting.
"Surprise!" He holds it out for you to take. "I wanted to wait until Christmas but now feels like the right time to give it to you."
Your fingers shake with excitement as they carefully untie the ribbon and remove the lid, revealing an abundance of pink tissue paper surrounding a pair of the most beautiful ice skates you have ever seen. The very same ice skates you remember seeing in that shop display at the Christmas market all those weeks ago, except the laces have been swapped out for a pair of candy-cane coloured ones, just like the miniature ornament he once gave you has been brought to life.
"Seokjin." Tears well in the corners of your eyes as you turn them over in your hands in pure disbelief. "They're really mine?"
He nods, scratching the back of his neck anxiously. "Do you like them?"
"I love them." You assure him, scrambling to your knees so you can plant your hands on his shoulders and kiss him hard and slow. "But I love you more."
His face heats up a rosy red and he pulls you into his chest to avoid the evidence (and the cheesy grin appearing on his face.)
"Impossible."
“Wait!” You sit up suddenly with a pout. “But I didn’t get you anything.”
Seokjin just laughs. “You’re the best Christmas gift I coulda asked for.”
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It's Christmas Eve and you're sat in the bleachers, eyes glued to the number 33 jersey moving swiftly around a group of defence men on the ice below.
Through the unruly cheers of the crowd you can hear the faint throb of your own heartbeat pulsing in your chest, breathing rigid as the game gets tense — there's one minute left, the score is 2:2, and the opposition is pretty good for a college team — but you know Seokjin is better and you cross your fingers tightly as you see him steal the puck.
With a sharp flick of his wrist he launches the black puck into the air. It spins a few times before it slams into the net and the crowd around you erupts into a frenzy. Your heart beats with pride as his team mates lift him onto their shoulders, punching the air and thumping his back in elated congratulations. Even the scholarship board who you can see sat in the front row seem impressed, nodding their heads and scribbling furiously in their notebooks.
Kim Seokjin! Kim Seokjin! Kim Seokjin!
Seokjin lands back on his feet and then he's ripping off his helmet, cupping his forehead, and squinting up through the harsh reflection of the ice at the bleachers, scanning every single face until his eyes land on yours and a giant grin tugs at the corners of his lips. Suddenly it's as if everyone around you disappears and it's just you and him against the world.
But the moment is interrupted when Seokjin is suddenly knocked off his feet by another body moving at full speed. Park Jimin. You know it's him because you can see his hard eyes peering out from between the bars of his helmet as he throws his hockey stick down on the ice and angrily swings himself over the barrier so he can storm out of the rink.
A cacophony of gasps sound around you. The whistle blows. Seokjin is flat against the ice. Your heart starts to pound.
"Come on Seokjin. Get up. Please get up." You cross your fingers behind your back, brushing away the searing fear that runs hot in your veins telling you to run, that he's injured beyond repair. "Get up!"
And then, he gets up.
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Before Seokjin can reach the edge of the rink you're running down the bleachers, pushing through the crowd to get to him. He's breathing heavily when he pulls off his helmet but that doesn't stop the beaming smile that appears on his face when he sees you coming his way.
"You're an idiot!" You whisper into his neck when you crash into him full force. His arms curl around your back, legs wobbling in his skates as he tries to find his balance and prevent you both from falling. "You could have gotten hurt! Or worse!"
"But I didn't, did I?" Seokjin cocks an eyebrow. "Not even gonna congratulate your boyfriend on his smashing win?"
Seokjin chuckles when you shake your head and hit his chest with a pout that desperately wants to turn into a smile. His eyes soften when they meet yours and you instinctively unwind your scarf and drape it around his neck when his teeth start to chatter.
You finally give in to the way the corners of your mouth tug. "Just shut up and kiss me already."
"Gladly." Seokjin chuckles, pulling your face into his hands and planting his lips on yours.
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1K notes · View notes
derireo · 4 years
Note
Bro what if,,, winter troupe cuddling/napping together headcanons😳??????
bro ,,, ur absolutely right . . . i'm getting Heated just thinkin bout it 😳 (accidentally let female reader insert slip in tasuku's,, i almost hc he fears women)
Winter Troupe Cuddle/Nap Headcanons:
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Hisoka is already out like a light in either scenario, so there's not much to go on about. And He May Not Look Like It .... but he is big spoon. This ain't even a joke
How he cuddles depends on the environment. In bed, he's obviously going to cuddle from behind, arms curled tight around the waist with his chin either tucked atop the head or nose buried in the hair.
His legs go wild though, u never know what to expect. Either he wraps his legs around your hips like he's holding a large body pillow, or they're tangled with yours.
Napping on sofa? Flat out laid across the whole thing. He's dead to the world. He won't budge if you lay right on top of him, but an arm will definitely wrap around your shoulders to keep you there. The other members are pissed off tho.
They can sit on the floor.
Speaking of the floor, it's his favourite spot to lay down. He either curls up like a cat or lays in a position that looks like he's getting ready to be put in a casket. Either one is capable of startling the other members.
In his curled up position, he likes to hold hands. It doesn't have to be both, but he Has to Hold a Hand or a marshmallow bag – pls. It's not a comfortable position if you've ever laid down on the floor like that with no cushion, so the warmth of a hand is very comforting and will make him fall asleep like Babpy.
He doesn't talk much when cuddling or napping (duh, fucc . . .) but he does babble at times, depending on his dream.
He doesn't kiss either, but he is super affectionate anyways, if you consider him burying his face in your neck or hair counts. His hands don't wander though too! He is such a good kid!
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Homare... Oh Homare...
He's a big spoon! But dis bitch don't even know what he doin!
Napping is like something that doesn't exist in his vocabulary so when he's suddenly asked if he could nap with you, at first he says No. Sorry,,, poems and all hahaha . . .
But he comes around not too long after. Writing poems is exhausting guys!!!
I think he likes cuddling face to face. It gives him inspiration cause he likes to stare at things that are pretty and breathtaking plus this position definitely gives his heart some ooey gooey goodness feelings.
Cuddling only happens in the bed. He doesn't understand how it works outside of it, Don't Push Him it's Improper...
His arms cradle you almost like a baby, with one arm wrapped around your back and the other supporting your neck, fingers gently brushing through the soft hair at the back of your head.
He lets you fall asleep first most of the time and uses part of his nap time to admire the features of your face, every so often brushing his fingers along the bridge of your nose or your brow bones. Words just pop in his head when he does this, and they're always used when describing you. They're included in his next poem.
Cuddling and napping has actually improved some of his writing to the point that even Tasuku is patient to listen sometimes.
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Speaking of Tasuku; Talk about Big Big Beefy Spoon hahaha , .,, he is so handsome.... im whipped
He's one of those people that are like "women don't exist". I'm so close to calling him an incel, no experience with women whatsoever don't let the canon story tell u otherwise.
Surprisingly enough tho, he's awesome to cuddle with. Those big muscles he's always workin on can actually do something for once.
He doesn't nap a lot, only after an intense afternoon jog does he rest. But he needs to take a shower so that happens first.
So that means he smells good,, EXTREMELY good during cuddles... and his body is warm so it's even better.
He naps on his back, with his arms crossed underneath his head, ankles crossed over the other. It's such a relaxing position for him as it stretches the muscles in his arms and it releases the strain in his back.
You can easily swoop in and latch yourself onto his side. He won't do much to complain and will rather peek an eye open to see who it is. Once he knows it's you, an arm will escape from under his head and coil around your shoulders to pull you in much closer.
He gets flustered when you slip your hand under his shirt to rest on his abdomen, but he's so warm and ur widdle fingers are cold :(
He kisses the top of your head when you both wake up an hour or so later and affectionately rubs your squishy cheek with his thumb when you don't get up right away.
Cuddling outside of the bedroom is very limited, but when it happens,,, it is so intimate that it has even Sakyo eyeing you two,,, Pretty sure there were gagging noises at some point when you were casually sitting on his lap while eating lunch.
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Tsumugi!!!!! Oh my Babey!!!!!
He is little spoon most of the time, but he Can and Will hold you when he is feeling confident about it.
He actually talks a lot while cuddling, mostly about his interests, his family, or childhood memories shared with Tasuku. But this is when he's big spoon.
He likes it face to face, but gets flustered easily so he prefers spooning most of the time. Whispering into your about something is always so fun because he can see your ears get red even though his are heating up too.
His arms are tight around your waist at first, but they eventually loosen as he gets sleepier and sleepier, until he falls asleep while talking about something his grandma taught him when he was younger.
When he's the small spoon though, he's knocked out like a light. He gets pretty tired considering he works late hours with tutoring and tending the flowers, so when he asks to be held, it's just so that he can get all the rest he needs to talk about his day with you the next morning.
Cuddling face to face is so embarrassing!!!! But he super duper likes it because he loves watching your eyelashes flutter or your smile get wider whenever he says something funny.
His fingers sometimes accidentally trail into questionable territory (like under ur shirt) because he's rubbing your back as you both talk and he flushes and apologises even if you don't notice.
He loves to give you back hugs outside of the bedroom, but doesn't let it escalate much!
Really, he is so soft. 100/10 would recommend.
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And here comes: King of Cuddling. Azuma Yukishiro. He's the most versatile of the bunch, and almost always manages to make cuddling inappropriate with you because he loves how your body feels beneath his fingers.
He almost teases you the first time you ask to cuddle, but eventually says yes. But what's worse,,, he brings u to his room. . . so u don't know what's gonna happen
Again, he's versatile so he can be the big spoon, small spoon, or he can be big macho man and lay down with you like how Tasuku does.
His Job was Literally This so most of the time he waits for you to tell him about your day and nods along in interest and hums at the most appropriate times.
His eyes are very ... intense. They stare at you so sweetly that it leaves you speechless, and it causes Azuma to laugh.
"Such a cute bunny." He'd coo and brush some hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear.
His hands would be awfully touchy, trailing down your arm or waist while the other would be playing with your hair or caressing your face. And if he felt like if, he'd slip his hand underneath your shirt and scratch his nails along your back, or even teasingly dip his fingers into your shorts before pinching your waist.
If you're finished talking, he'll gently ask if you're ready to nap now and will cradle your head to his chest, lips kissing your crown as he held you with his fingers buried in your hair.
The occasional nights where he has a nightmare, he almost silently asks you if you could hold him, and nearly melts in your arms when you do.
He quietly laughs wetly against your skin when you copy the actions he does to you, soothingly dragging your palm against his arm while your lips are pressed to the top of his head. He thanks you, genuinely, and responds by kissing your throat.
And then you both fall asleep to the sound of your breaths going along in tandem.
Cuddling outside of the bedroom is also quite rare for him, but when's feeling playful he'll somehow trick or coax you into sitting on his lap
Or sometimes when you're working on a puzzle or colouring book together and sitting on the floor, he'll slowly make his way to your side, shuffling ever so close
Eventually you succumb to the warmth that's at your side and rest against him, and he'll smile secretly and comb his fingers through your hair.
290 notes · View notes
10boys · 4 years
Text
MLQC:Kissing/make-out
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*how they like their mouth action
Victor Kissing:
-Victor doesnt do “small pecks”, if your lips are on his he simply cannot just take a “peck”
-Even short kisses are deep and invading, his lips know exactly how to manipulate against yours
-He’ll kiss you where and when he wants and only where and when he wants
-He of course won’t oblige to a request from you
-But you rarely want to give him that satisfaction, he knows if he teases you with almost kisses you’ll start to whine which is what he wants
-His urge usually arises from admiring your face (canon bc of like...all his cards lol), the sunlight hits your eyes perfectly making them a glistening shade lighter, a sunkissed glow making your features appear softer. Your bright eyes accompanied by your long lashes shoot his way , catching him in his trance. He grins as a small blush creeps to his cheeks , knowing he’s seemingly been caught.
-Your tongue quickly made a lap over your lips, drawing his attention downward. Before you had time to wittily joke on him like he does you, his lips are pressed to yours.
-His kisses are deep. they’re possessive. they’re full of all the words he doesn’t say and all emotions he doesn’t show
-Saucy victor loves making you stick your tongue out so he can slowly lick and suck it ;)
-He doesnt think much about it, he just goes in.
- Favorite place to kiss is your lips and ear. He lovesss when you hug him with your head snuggled in his chest, it makes it easy for him nuzzle into your hair and leave small kisses and nibs on ur ear tips
-Loves being kissed on his chest (as tall as you can reach) and back on his shoulder mussels
-Keeps his hand in your hair for his comfort
-Definitely holds your jaw while he sucks
Lucien:
-Lucien loves to give you surprise kisses!
-You two are having one of your guys’ usual library dates
-You’ve been aimlessly wondering through the shelves for a while, collecting interesting finds as you go. After retrieving around 3 or 4 books you venture back to find lucien whos proudly holding down the fort (your guys’ fav spot)
-He leans aginst his seat leasurly holding a wide book infront of him, covering his face from view
-You set down your books and pull out the seat near him, beginning to pry the book away from his face
-“ You can’t see that badly? Did you bring your gla-“
-Suddenly he tugged your face closer to share his behind the book, creating a sensual secret space only occupied by the two of you
-His lavender eyes shares hypnotizing relaxation through with you, his soft smile sent your cheeks a blaze after realizing how near they were to your own. He took a moment sending suductive messages with his eyes, always so full of passion and interest. You watched his delicate eye lashes lower as his lips puckered.
-You instinctively copy his actions, closing the gap.
-Luciens favorite place to kiss is either your fingers or peppered kisses across your face
-Opposite of Victor, sultry lucien likes sticking his tongue out for you to lick and suck ;)
-He’s not afraid of pda, loves leaving kissing on your neck and ears when queued up for a new restaurant or in the line to get coffee
-He loves to build the moment up for your kisses too, sometimes he’ll just stare at your lips bluntly while caressing your face. Being under this intense analyzation brings heat to your cheeks as you try not to grin bashfully, he can’t help to lick his lips, you can only imagine what he’s thinking...
Gavin:
-Gavin gives u uwu kisses
-Usually kisses you when he thinks you’re doing something cute to hide his blushing face
-So yeah you get alottt of kisses
-Its usually a “grabs your whole face and mushes his agaisnt yours” type kiss. Butterfly kisses mixed with full-face
-Loves kissing your hand cause it makes him feel like your gentleman
-Loves getting kisses on his forhead and scars
-Sultry gavin loves getting kisses on his chest and nipples ;)
-He also likes to suck fingers ;)
- You were on your bed taking some last-minute notes off your laptop. Gavins head would usually be laying on your thigh at times like this, making it a bit difficult to focus and write
-Which is exactly why he’s across the room on the couch watching TV until you’re finished. He likes looking through the silly things you watch on Hulu and Youtube. You turn your head and catch a glimps of him, body leasurly laid across your sofa with one airm raised to support his head. The odd position causes his shirt to lift, showing his extremely toned V line.
-The view causes you to bite your lip as a malicious thought arises
-“Wahh~ Officer Gavin~ theirs a bug ~ come kill it ~ save me ~”
-He rolls from his previous position on the couch to foot of your bed.
-“Where? I dont see it”
-“Right there!!” you excitedly point to a corner across you, seemingly containing nothing
-He turns inspecting the area, beginning to confront you about its location
-“It just went under that box !! ewww get it”
-You watch as he bends over, searching between and under for said “spider” , but all you’re seatching for is the heart to stop him
-His shirt swings sways and rises as he bends and straightens out, his muscles tighten everytime he reaches while his thighs thicken with every squat
-“Baby im really not seeing it-” he begins before catching you in the middle of your daze. Your eyes are fixed on him but not his face, nor the so-called spider he was looking for
“You think you’re funny” he replies with a smile as he makes his way to the bed crawling on from the foot
-You playfully tease and squeeze his face, admiring his obedience
-He cups his hand over yours, eyes dazzling over a tinge of pink as you two share this loving and intimate moment. You poke a few silly kissy faces making him laugh, inching closer to close the gap. Your smiling faces press against each other, happiness is all you are with him.
Kiro:
-Wants the most kisses
-Or more properly, verbally and physically requests them the most
-Wake up kiss , good night kiss, ily kiss, you’re cute kiss, thank you kiss, I’ve just been stairing at you for 5 minutes kiss, convincing you not to leave kiss, jealous kiss, and many more
-He doesnt necessarily build up a moment every time either
-Ofc he stares lovingly into ur eyes with a sweet grin and blushy cheeks before he dives in intimately
-But most the time he just dives in wheneverr, He likes seeing you suprised and blushy over him. While you’re preparing a meal or finishing documents he’ll just run up to plant one on u, accompanied by a super hero kiro squeeze
-Loves to give cheek and face-mush kisses
-Loves to receive lip, face and eye kisses
-Loves kisses down his spine, when your attention is on him
-Honestly, sultry kiro will kiss and suck along the way to any and every area
-Give him a surprise lip kiss to unlock ‘weird’ kiro
-You sat across him watching as the food 10x bigger than his mouth goes down with ease, goku is that you?
-It seems he’s caught onto your intrigue, his bubbly blue eyes meet yours as a cheeky grin appears
-“Mmm this is so good! Here, try some!” He extends a cream puff twords you encouraging a bite
-You lower his hand as a respectable “no thank you” guesture, his half aten puff sadly falls back go the plate
-Although he’s easily the cutest boy in the world with squirrel stuffed cheeks, his messy left over just didn’t seem apatizing enough
-You reach out for a fresh puff and get swatted away just as quickly , you raise your gaze to kiros brows in a mighty furrow
-“And what was wrong with my puff?!?!” he exclaims pretending to be overwhelmed with offense. You giggle at his child-like energy and pettyness as you use the swatted hand to squeeze his puff-full cheeks.
-“Nothings wrong ! You were just enjoying them so well i wanted my own” you lie. He’s cute, but he’s no fool. His eyes pour into you, somehow letting you know he’s not biting that foney excuse. He smiles to himself although a lightbulb went off that only shined on him.
-“Of course not chip princess! Whats mine-” he begins placing a puff in his mouth
-“Is yours”. He closes his eyes and leans across the table, his lips wet and pink around the pale colored puff are inviting. His eyelashes cast a soft shadow on his cheeks , which seem to always have the slightest ting of pink when infront of you. His blonde locks shine like diamonds in the corner of the dimely-lit restaurant , you swear there are no circumstances that could make this man anything but beautiful.
-His eyes open, wet and dark as he pleads silently for you to finish the minastration. He knows how to charm you , and his cute ass is making it work, but not this time.
-You lean over the table taking the puff from his mouth, swiflty replacing it with a bold, blunt, but gentle kiss.
-A faint noise escapes his mouth at the sudden gesture, his now wide eyes find yours only inches away. The tips of his ears blush red before he pulls away.
“You’re bold miss chips ! If you thought i tasted better, why didn’t you just say so?”
.....x
Hi its been so long i missed writing :,) I have more shorter blurbs in the drafts so i should have more out soon !! Also requests are open ! Ty - myk
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hrina · 5 years
Text
Gone Cold
PAIRING: Harry/Y/N RATING: M for Maybe don’t read this if ur under 18 :-) WORD COUNT: 6.4k REQUESTED: nope, i was just inspired for once
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hi everyone. this one-shot is angsty, smutty, and fluffy, and is loosely based on the following prompt from this list:
listen i know i can’t just show up at your apartment at six in the morning but i need coffee and no one makes it like you do
i worked really hard on this piece and i’m pretty happy with how it turned out. with that being said, sending in any feedback and/or reactions you have would mean the absolute world to me, and it provides significant motivation in terms of continuing to write. i know people usually skip over the little author’s note at the beginning, but if you’ve taken the time to read this, i really appreciate you. 
special thanks to @gucciwoodnymph for agreeing to beta and for being so supportive. i love you tans 💕💕
enjoy :-)
[masterlist] [let me know your thoughts]
~*~
Harry’s in the middle of a very exciting, albeit incongruous, dream. He’s in a car chase, hounded by a frighteningly large black SUV, and for some odd reason, he hasn’t been caught despite the measly little golf cart that he’s driving. He’s not quite sure why he’s being pursued, or why the sky is a shade of hot pink, or why he’s only wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else. He whips his head to the side when he feels a tap on his shoulder and comes face-to-face with his sister. She grins at him and opens her mouth to say something, but the only thing that escapes is a noise eerily similar to the ringing of a doorbell.
Harry furrows his brows, and Gemma mimics his expression, utterly confused. Her lips part as she tries to speak again, but that same sound blares out. Her eyes widen in terror and her hands fly to grip her throat. Her mouth opens in what Harry presumes to be a scream, but all he hears is a frantic ringing, the noises blurring together in a steady crescendo.
And then his eyes snap open, and—as though pulled by an invisible string—he sits upright in his bed. He places a palm over his heaving chest, his gaze flitting around his bedroom; there’s a faint grey light spilling in from the window, making it a bit easier to see. Harry chances a glance at the clock on his bedside table; it’s six in the morning.
The sound of the doorbell startles him, and for a moment, he’s afraid that he’s still trapped in that peculiar dream. But then he realizes that the noise is real, and there’s actually someone standing outside on his porch.
Who the fuck would need him at this time?
Rubbing his eyes, Harry stumbles out of bed. He doesn’t bother looking for a pair of pants, opting instead to pull on a plain white t-shirt and tug his briefs down so that they cover a bit more of his thighs. He curses when his shoulder bumps against the wall, not yet awake enough to maintain his balance.
He staggers down the hall, his feet carrying him in choppy, haphazard movements. His sleepy eyes wander to the side, and he stops in his tracks when they land on the door standing slightly ajar a few feet away. He must’ve forgotten to close it properly last night.
Harry approaches the room carefully, as though afraid that it’s haunted. He grips the doorknob with white knuckles, his throat suddenly extremely dry. His eyelids flutter as he tries his best to look everywhere except inside, but the effort proves to be fruitless. The pastel green of the walls draws his gaze almost automatically; from there, he’s a goner.
Through the small opening of the door, he studies the emptiness of the room. Soft, patterned curtains still hang from the window, speckled with a print of stars and teddy bears and crescent moons. A small dresser is shoved off to the side, half-assembled (or rather, disassembled—he’d been working on taking it apart last night). Pressed against the far wall stands a crib, still fully set up. A mobile hovers overtop, tiny stuffed elephants and giraffes and lions hanging from the clips.  Harry hasn’t yet found the strength to even touch it. He thinks that he’d rather set his house aflame.
Swallowing heavily, he closes the door. A beat of silence passes as he stares up at the ceiling, exhaling softly and blinking furiously against the threat of tears.
The doorbell rings again, twice in a row, and the moment is gone. Harry groans, raking his fingers through his hair.
“I’m comin’, for fuck’s sake!”
Once he reaches the front entrance, he grumbles as he undoes the lock and wraps his fist around the knob. He pulls the door open, squinting his eyes when the first dim rays of the sun pierce his face. The blood running through his veins suddenly goes cold.
“Hi.” You’re chewing nervously on your bottom lip and wringing your hands at your sides, like you’re not quite sure what to do with them. Your hair is pinned up in a professional-looking bun, though a single strand seems to have escaped the strict style and has fallen down along the side of your face.
You’re wearing a pair of black dress pants and a baby blue blouse tucked beneath a navy cardigan. The straps of your purse are nestled in the crook of your elbow, and a pair of matching sapphire flats adorn your feet.
And even though you aren’t pregnant anymore, you’re glowing.
Harry watches as your eyes fall from his face and scan over his body for a quick moment. You look away immediately when you register that he’s only in a t-shirt and underwear.
“Good morning,” he replies, the surprise evident in his voice. You shoot him an uneasy smile, trying to mask your anxiety.
“I’m sorry it’s so early,” you say, shaking your head. “I—I was going to head into work an hour ahead of schedule, but I couldn’t get my coffee to taste good, so I kind of just skipped out on it. And then I was about to fall asleep at the wheel because I didn’t have any caffeine in me, and your place was on the way, so I just…”
You’re flustered, Harry can tell. He looks at you with piercing eyes, watching the way you curl up into yourself as each word leaves your mouth. You’re regretting your decision now, it would appear.
“You…,” Harry begins, his brows knitting together. “You want me to make you a cup of coffee?”
You refuse to meet his eyes, and your shoulders vibrate with a weak shrug.
“Nobody makes it like you,” you say meekly, your lips warping into an embarrassed grimace. A warm feeling erupts in Harry’s chest, fanning out and saturating his body with more efficiency than that of the sunbeams peeking over the horizon. He clears his throat, trying to find his voice.
“Come on in.”
~*~
With you sat at the island in his kitchen, Harry bustles around the room, reaching for mugs and a pot and spoons. He’s awake now, anyway; he might as well make enough coffee for two.
He plugs in the machine and rips open a packet of coffee grounds, pouring the entirety of it into a simple white filter. Out of the corner of his eye, he chances a glance at you.
You’re sitting on one of the higher stools, your purse resting on the seat to your left. Your elbows are against the counter, forearms hidden by the cardigan that you’d refused to take off. You’re staring at your clasped hands, thumbs twiddling apprehensively as you fiddle with the rings circling around your fingers. Everything about your position is tense, from the tautness of your shoulders to the rigidity of your neck and the rigor of your spine.
It’s a massive difference from how you used to be when you’d sat in that exact same spot months ago. Then, your smile was infectious, and you would flop all over his kitchen without a care in the world. Harry’s eyes fall to the smooth surface of the counter; despite his best efforts, the memory of him fucking you over the marble emerges in screaming colour. He squeezes his eyes shut, willing the image out of his mind.
“So,” Harry starts, his voice still painfully scratchy from sleep. “How’ve you been?”
You sit up straight. “Good. I, um…I ended up getting the promotion.”
“No way.” Harry looks at you as he finishes preparing the coffee; his grin is nothing but genuine. “That’s great. Congratulations.”
Your lips curl up into a small smile. “Thank you. How about you?”
“I’m alright,” he replies, shrugging. “Same shit, different day, right?”
“Right.”
The conversation tapers off into silence. Harry’s eyes are drawn to how you bite your bottom lip, and though he knows that he’s been staring for far too long, he can’t help it. He eventually tears his gaze away, focussing on the steady drip of coffee into the pot and clenching his jaw at the sight. Why the fuck is it still empty?
“My mum came by the other day,” he says suddenly. He’s fully aware that talking about his mother may not be the best tactic out there, but he can’t stand the awkward quiet hanging in the air. “She asked about you.”
You swallow heavily, trying to keep your voice level. “Oh…what did you say?”
“Said you were doing well,” Harry hums, playing idly with the spoons lying on the counter. The metal clangs when they bump against each other, ringing out loudly in the stillness of the room. “She misses you.”
Your smile is sad. “I miss her, too.”
“Think she likes you more than she likes me, to be honest.” Harry chuckles softly. “Always asks me how I was able to let you go.”
You don’t reply.
Harry peeks over at you, studying your pursed lips and hard eyes. He’s crossed a line, and he knows it. Your fingers begin to fidget again, and your expression gives nothing away. It’s the same countenance you’d worn when the two of you had agreed to end things. Tears had fallen and lips had been kissed. Hands had been grasped and shoulders had trembled with the ugliest sobs imaginable. But still—Harry had watched you walk out of his life, and you’d both turned away without witnessing how the other had looked back.
“Sorry,” Harry says quietly, itching at his nose with two fingers. “I shouldn’t’ve—”
“It’s okay,” you cut him off. He thinks that that’s the end of it, but then you sigh softly and push back from the counter. The legs of the stool creak faintly against the kitchen tiles. “I should go.”
“What?” he blurts, his eyes widening. He watches in bewilderment as you reach for your purse and shoulder it without a second thought. Your gaze is fixated on the floor as you begin to make your way to the front entrance, but Harry’s legs seem to move of their own accord, and then he’s suddenly in front of you, blocking your way.
“What’re you doing?” he asks, breathless. “I—I’m making coffee.”
You press your mouth into a line, but the way your chin wobbles doesn’t go unnoticed.
“H,” you murmur, unable to muster a stronger tone. “Let me go.”
The intimate nickname catches him by surprise. You’re the only one who’s ever called him that. He hasn’t been addressed in such a way for months, and hearing it spill from your lips now breaks something inside of him.
“No,” he tells you firmly. “I can’t do that. Not—not again.”
“Shut up,” you scoff, and the snarky bite of your voice has him taking his tongue between his teeth. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“How so?” he asks, his nostrils flaring.
“You…,” you begin, but then quickly trail off when you discover that you can’t find the right words. You glare at him and make a frustrated noise in the back of your throat, eyes ignited with a fire that he hasn’t been privy to in so long; he’s missed it.
“Don’t do this,” Harry pleads. He risks reaching out to you, half-expecting you to step away; his heart somersaults in his chest when you don’t. His fingers twirl around that one strand of hair that hangs in front of your face, and he tenderly tucks it behind your ear. You gulp when his knuckles brush against your cheek.
“Don’t leave,” he breathes, closing his eyes for a brief moment. “Please.”
“What am I supposed to do?” you ask weakly, tears gathering in your eyes. “It hurts. Being around you hurts.”
“I know.” He nods, trying to keep his own emotions from overwhelming him. “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”
The two of you are in the cruellest of predicaments. How is it possible to be so utterly in love with someone, even though their mere existence serves as an aching reminder of pain? The two of you had been in shambles after the incident. You couldn’t walk through the aisle filled with packaged pregnancy tests at the pharmacy. Harry was unable to look at the section reserved for babies in every clothing outlet. The hurt had been fresh. It had ripped your relationship apart.
“I miss you,” you choke out. “I miss you, but it’s still—what am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know,” Harry whispers sadly, shaking his head. “But, please. Let’s figure this out together, yeah? Don’t leave.”
He’s got your face cradled in his hands now, and you’re really, truly looking at him for the first time since he’d opened that damned door. Your fingers wrap around his wrists, and you give him a curt, nervous nod. Harry exhales in relief, his shoulders lowering as the tension melts away. His eyes flutter closed again, but then snap open suddenly when he feels you lean up and press a quick peck to the corner of his mouth.
His brows shoot up, and his lips part slightly in shock. His skin is burning; the spot where you’d kissed him is practically aflame. Your eyes hold an array of emotions: fear, anxiety, regret, panic. You release his wrists from your grasp, stepping back.
“I’m sorry,” you say quickly; the words blend together with how fast they exit your mouth. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to—”
Harry cuts you off as quickly as physically possible, closing the distance between the two of you in a single stride and clapping his palm against the back of your neck. A soft gasp escapes you, but the noise is swiftly silenced when he affixes your lips to his.
A watery sob resonates in the back of your throat as you drop your purse and hook your arms beneath his, your fingers scrabbling for purchase against his back. Harry groans quietly when you grip handfuls of his t-shirt in tight fists and press your bodies together. Your lips move frantically, kissing and sucking with the most obscene and frenzied sounds that he’s ever heard. He melts into you, one hand messing up your hair while the other circles around your waist to keep you close.
It proves difficult to pull back from you, but he knows that he has to when he feels your tears smearing onto his cheeks. He rests his forehead against yours, lowering his arm slightly so that he can wipe away the wet trails with his thumb.
“Are you okay?” he breathes, gazing at you with worried eyes.
“Yeah.” Your voice is thick. “Where…where do we go from here?”
You’re the one posing the question, yet as soon as you do, you’re attacking his lips again with short, hard kisses. Harry fights to inhale between each loud smack of your mouth to his, but he’s really not complaining.
“I don’t know,” he manages to get out between kisses. You seal your lips together and resume your previous ministrations. He grips your face with both of his hands, his palms large enough to cover the entirety of your jaw. When you break apart for air, he asks, “Do you want to stop?”
“No.”
“Me neither.”
And with that, he kisses you again. You moan into his mouth when he guides you back against the counter, and you hop up onto the smooth surface when he moulds his fingers to fit around the curve of your thighs. Harry pushes the mugs and spoons out of the way, the action hurried yet careful to avoid any breakage. You giggle at his prudence; he smiles.
“What?” he asks.
You shake your head. “Nothing.”
He leans in and reattaches his lips to yours, his fingers finding the collar of your cardigan and slowly easing the fabric down your shoulders. You help him, flinging the material away once it’s been fully removed. Harry begins to toy with the buttons on your blouse, and you push your chest out in encouragement, nodding silently.
He begins kissing your neck as he undoes the first clasp, savouring the taste of your skin. It’s been so long since he’s touched you. He can feel your breasts heaving with every breath you take, and the thought of you wanting him just as badly as he wants you has his cock growing stiff in his briefs. You sigh happily when he latches onto a particularly sensitive spot beneath your ear, your fingers snaking up to tangle in his hair.
“Shit,” you mutter. Harry chuckles, assuming that you’d cursed at the sensation of his lips against your throat. But then you’re pushing him back slightly, placing one hand over your heart and reaching around with the other to tug your phone from your back pocket. You check the time and swear softly. Your eyes are apologetic when you look back up at him.
“I—I have to go to work.”
He shakes his head, ducking back down to nip at your collarbone. “Call in sick.”
“I can’t!” you moan, tilting your head back to allow him better access. But even as you protest, you’re unlocking the device and pulling up your assistant’s contact information. You pull away, placing a firm hand on Harry’s shoulder to keep him at a distance. He pouts, but when you fix him with a stern glare, his expression melts into a smug smirk.
“Give me a minute,” you tell him before dialling the number. You grunt as you spin yourself around on the counter, falling back so that your head dangles from one edge and your knees from the other.
Harry stares at you with wide, amused eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”
“If my head’s upside down, it’ll make my voice sound more nasally!” you hiss as the phone rings. “I need to sound like I’m fucking congested.”
His shoulders shake in silent laughter; he watches with adoring eyes as you clear your throat when your assistant answers the phone.
“Lena?” you ask, and Harry is shocked to find that you were right—you do sound significantly unwell. “Hey, good morning. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it in today. I woke up feeling really shitty…”
He’s ashamed to admit that he tunes out the rest of your sentence, his mind wandering to far more vulgar places. He studies the straining of your neck, the rapid rising and falling of your chest, the way your toes curl as you lie straight through your teeth. Your lips cling tightly to every word leaving your mouth. Knowing that it’s all just a trifling invention to stay where you are (and to keep doing what you’re doing) makes Harry’s stomach swoop dangerously low with lust.
You lift your head, observing him carefully as he rounds the corner of the counter and places his palms on your thighs. He can hear your assistant—Lena—babbling through the phone, her voice clamorous yet choppy on the other end of the line. Harry pays her no attention, opting instead to undo the few remaining buttons on your blouse and separate the offending material. He inhales deeply when the rest of your torso becomes exposed to the cool air of his kitchen.
“What are you doing?” you whisper, pulling the device away from your ear and throwing your hand over the microphone.
Harry cocks an eyebrow, offering up a shrug as his reply. Your stomach twitches when he splays his hands flat against your hips and then hooks his fingers into the waistband of your trousers. You shoot him a warning glare, but he just smirks.
“What? Oh, sorry,” you rush out and pretend to cough, bringing the phone back to your ear. “You were cutting out a bit; could you repeat that?”
Harry’s shoulders vibrate with a low chuckle. He doesn’t miss the way your thighs press together at the sound. His nimble fingers find the clasp of your pants, and he pops it open easily. You begin to squirm when he plays with your zipper, pulling it down and then back up before doing it all over again. He knows that he’s being a tease, but he can’t help it. He’d forgotten how amusing it is to watch you melt into a puddle.
Your free hand shoots down to grip his wrist when he begins tugging your trousers down your hips. He peers up at you through his eyelashes, trying to repress the arrogant smile that threatens to make itself known. Your eyes are wide, and you shake your head furiously. Harry abandons his attempt to conceal his glee, a wide grin splitting across his face as he yanks himself free from your grasp. Before you can pull away, he traps your arm against the counter, snickering at the change in dynamic.
You gulp when he leans up and drapes his body over yours. He plants a silent, chaste kiss to your lips before placing his mouth at the ear that isn’t currently pressed against the screen of your phone. His command is soft, but it makes you shiver, nonetheless.
“Don’t move.”
You have to flatten your lips together forcefully to contain the whimper that bubbles up in your throat. Harry’s laugh is completely silent, but his dark eyes tell you everything you need to know. He inches back down your torso, directing his gaze to where your pants sit lopsided on your lower-half.
“So beautiful,” he murmurs, littering kisses over your stomach. You inhale sharply when he takes a patch of skin between his teeth and bites down gently.
In a matter of seconds, he’s got the fabric at your ankles. You’re still on the line with Lena, growing impatient with her incessant prattling.
“Okay, that’s fine,” you affirm. She says something else, and you nod reflexively. “Yeah, if I’m feeling better, I will. Thank you, take care.”
As soon as the call ends, you slap your phone down onto the counter with a bit more force than was probably intended. A loud groan leaves your lips, and you crane your neck so that you can glare daggers at the man standing between your legs.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” you promise. Harry cackles.
“Why? I thought it was fun.”
He grins as you kick your trousers off completely, hearing them fall to the floor in an airy heap. He nudges them out of the way with his foot, one of his hands creeping up your body so that he can cup your left breast over your bra. You sigh when his palm gives a soft squeeze.
“I missed this,” Harry whispers, but the confession is weak. He’s not quite sure if he should have said it.
His worries are mollified, however, when you hum in agreement and reach out for him. His chest tightens significantly as you lace your fingers together, bringing your clasped hands up so that you can pamper his knuckles with dozens of kisses. A lump forms in his throat, but he pays it no attention. Instead, he pulls you up into a sitting position and fastens your lips to his.
“Mm…help me take this off,” you mumble against his mouth, angling your shoulders backward. Harry grips the collar of your blouse and tugs the thin fabric down your arms, balling it up and tossing it away without a second thought.
“Hey!” you laugh. Your teeth bump against his chin when you grin. “Don’t wrinkle it!”
“Chill out,” he tells you, amusement evident in his tone. “I can get you something of mine to wear.”
“D’you—oh,” you moan softly when he ducks down to pepper kisses along the column of your throat. “Do you still have that blue button-up? The one with the stars on it?”
“’Course.”
“I’ll take that one.”
Harry chuckles at your playful claim. “I see why you got that promotion,” he tells you, his hot breath fanning out onto the underside of your jaw. “Quite the bossy little thing, you are.”
“Shut up and get your shirt off,” you scoff, a crooked smile spreading over your lips.
He laughs quietly into your neck. “I rest my case.”
Despite the light ribbing, though, he does as you ask. It takes everything in him to suppress a smile when he watches you gaze at his bare body in awe. Your touch trails against the dozens of tattoos on his torso and arms. Your hands slide down his narrow hips, ghosting over the slight pudge of skin right above the waistband of his briefs. A shiver rockets down his spine when you delicately slip your fingertips beneath the elastic.
“Is this okay?” you inquire softly, glancing up at him from beneath your eyelashes. Harry nods frantically and gulps. His gaze falls to the thin lace trim that flanks the cups of your baby pink bra. He’s never seen this one before—it must be new.
“Did you just get this recently?” he asks, his thumbs running along the underwire.  He doubts that the question will ruin whatever mood has been built up; you’re standing—or rather, sitting—before him in your undergarments, with your hair spilling out of your bun and your fingers inches away from his cock. He doesn’t know if he’s ever been more turned on than he is right in this moment.
“A few weeks ago.” You nod, peering up at him shyly. “You like it?”
“Love it,” he corrects. “You know how I feel about this colour.”
Your smile is bashful when you tuck your chin against your chest. “Does that mean that you want me to leave it on?”
“Fuck, no.”
You laugh. “That’s what I thought.”
In an instant, he’s removed your bra and attached his lips to one of your nipples. You sigh gently, your head falling back as your fingers braid through his hair. You scratch your nails against his scalp delicately, and the sensation only spurs him on. He nibbles at your skin; a faint giggle tumbles off your tongue.
“What—oh, that feels nice,” you murmur. “What do you wanna do?”
Harry pulls off your chest with a wet smacking sound, licking his lips in anticipation. “What do you wanna do?” he replies, deliberately skirting around your inquiry.
“I asked you first.”
He snickers.
“’F we’re being honest here,” he starts, scratching sheepishly at the back of his neck. “I really just want to make you cum on my tongue.”
You balk at the vulgarity of his sentence. Harry beams haughtily, sweeping his palms down your hips. An obvious shudder wracks your body when he begins fiddling with the hem of your panties. His dimples pop when you gulp violently and give him a terse nod.
“Yeah. Okay,” is all you say, mainly because far more eloquent words have somehow managed to escape you.
“Brilliant.” Harry smirks and watches as you bristle beneath his gaze.
Less than a second later, his knees come into contact with the kitchen tiles. He groans weakly, reaching to his right and snatching up the mat that usually sits on the floor right next to the sink. You laugh when he arranges the fluffy rug beneath him, and once he’s satisfied with its positioning, he shoots you a cheeky smile.
“All good now,” he announces. You fix him with a tender smile as your fingers comb his hair away from his forehead.
“Lovely,” you whisper. Harry feels your muscles tense when he begins trailing kisses up the length of your thigh. His fingers hook into your underwear.
“Lift up for me, darling,” he says, his teeth catching ever-so-slightly against your skin. You exhale shakily and press your hands flat against the counter for leverage. When your bottom rises up from the marble, Harry works quickly to tug your panties down your legs. He flings them away without wavering.
“Christ,” he mumbles, mostly to himself. He sets his elbows onto the counter, helping you spread your thighs for him. Your scent floods his senses as you bare yourself to him entirely; growling lowly, he buries his face between your legs.
“Oh, God,” you squeak, both of your hands latching onto his hair. You tug on the curls as he flicks his tongue feverishly against your clit, remembering exactly how much he likes the dull, thrumming itch of pain. True to your recollection, Harry groans appreciatively against your cunt.
He shoves himself even further into you, and you know that once he’s done, his chin and nose will be just as shiny as his lips. He eats you out like you’re his last meal, like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted this badly. Your toes curl when you feel his lips sponge hot, wet kisses down your slit.
“Fuck,” you sigh, your eyes fluttering shut. “I forgot how good you were at this.”
Harry chuckles. The vibration shoots across your clit and sends electrical surges ricocheting through your veins. You moan softly, but he doesn’t respond, too engrossed in the taste spilling from the apex of your thighs.
He’s not sure how long the two of you stay like that, with his knees on the ground and his mouth on your heat and your fingers in his hair. Despite the fluffy mat below him, his legs begin to grow sore, but he blocks out the ache and commits himself to making you feel good. Your muscles keep twitching beneath his fingers and your stomach heaves gently; you’re close.
He wants you to cum.
“I’m gonna,” you breathe, and only then does Harry realize that he’d spoken the desire out loud. When your words sink in, he doubles his efforts, his lips sucking your clit into his mouth with a newfound sense of passion. A loud, lewd moan tumbles from your lips, and then you’re cumming, your thighs clenching against the sides of his head and your hips bucking up from the counter.
“Beautiful,” Harry mutters, pressing his lips to your stomach. “So fucking beautiful.”
You whimper.
He stands with a groan, his knees pricking with spindles of pain. They’ll probably bruise a bit later, but he really can’t find it in himself to care. His hand snakes down beneath the elastic of his briefs, and he sighs in relief when he makes a fist around his hard cock. You push yourself up onto your elbows, gazing at him with glassy, distant eyes.
“Cum on me,” you plead hoarsely.
“Fuck.” Harry’s head tips back in disbelief. “Yeah? You want that?”
“Please.”
You sit up, wrestling his underwear down his thighs. He hisses when you intentionally scrape your nails along his skin, and his dick twitches in his hand. He pumps himself quickly, his cheeks growing warm when he realizes that he’s not going to last long. There’s a knot forming in the pit of his stomach, and the way you’re begging for him is sending him hurtling toward his release.
As though you can read his thoughts, you slip off of the counter and drop to your knees. Harry bites back a smirk at the reversal of roles. You peer up at him sultrily and knead your own breasts, tempting him as your thumbs skirt over your nipples.
“Cum on them,” you say quietly. “Please, H.”
The nickname—that fucking nickname—is what does him in.
“Bloody Christ.”
His groan is long, drawn-out, and guttural. A shaky exhale leaves his mouth as he watches ropes of his seed dribble down onto your chest. You press your breasts together while the speed of his hand slows. Harry’s eyes nearly roll into the back of his head when you dip a fingertip into the mess on your skin and tuck it into your mouth.
“C’mere,” he orders breathlessly.
His hands grip your elbows as he pulls you up. He doesn’t let you get a single word in before sealing his lips to yours. He licks into you, tasting himself on your tongue. Your hands sweep up his shoulders and neck, trembling profusely.
Disregarding the mess of clothing on the floor, the two of you stumble upstairs and into the shower. Harry tests the temperature of the water with one hand; the other stays locked firmly with yours, fingers intertwined. A small part of him is afraid that if he lets go, you’ll disappear.
Beneath the spray of the shower, he watches as you wash yourself. You take extra care around your face (removing your makeup) and your cleavage (rubbing off his cum). Harry stands against the far wall, the cool tiles of the stall pressing against his back. He’s staring at you intensely, trying to memorize every detail of your body. When you finally open your eyes and glance at him, a timid smile spreads across your lips.
“What?” you ask, curling into yourself.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “’M just…admiring you.”
Your throat bobs violently as you swallow. Reaching for his wrist, you tug him beneath the water and chuckle when his hair flattens against his head. The entire time, Harry’s gaze never strays from your face.
“I missed you,” you both say at the same time.
Your eyes widen, and then a shy laugh spills out of your mouth. Harry cups your face with both hands; you look up at him with twinkling eyes and push his wet hair from his forehead with gentle fingers.
“I missed you,” he repeats, staring at you earnestly. “So much.”
You nod in response. Somehow, the brief action is able to convey more than spoken dialogue ever could. Harry chews on his bottom lip, pondering whether he should utter the other three words on the tip of his tongue. After a few milliseconds, he decides against it. He’s not sure how you would react, and he doesn’t want to lose you—not again.
It’s not worth the risk.
The two of you eventually exit the shower, sporting wet eyelashes and pruned fingertips. Wordlessly, Harry wraps a towel around you, pecking your cheek lovingly. He’s about to step back, but then your fingers are on his jaw, guiding him in for a proper kiss. You sigh against his lips.
He wants nothing more than to stay in this moment for the rest of his life.
Back downstairs, he adjusts the towel around his hips and finally pours coffee into the pair of mugs that he’d pulled from the cupboard an hour ago. He prepares it the way you like before offering it to you. Your fingers wrap around the handle daintily, and you both take a sip at the same time.
“Sorry.” Harry grimaces after he swallows. “It’s gone a bit cold.”
“Mm.” You press your lips together and shake your head. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” You pause before adding, “It’s kind of symbolic, no?”
His brows knit together. “What?” he asks, before it dawns on him. The creases on his forehead deepen. “Like…us?”
You nod, hiding your smirk behind the rim of your mug. Harry’s expression softens when he realizes that you’re only teasing. You lean over the counter, but the towel draped around your body comes loose, and you squeak in surprise when it slips down your chest. He grins.
“Can always just take it off, you know,” Harry informs you, shrugging. “It might be more convenient.”
“Care to test that theory?” you reply, cocking an eyebrow. He sets his mug down and raises his hands in surrender, stepping back before pulling at the material on his waist. It falls to the floor, and your gaze instinctively drops to his pelvis. You look away quickly, evidently flustered.
“Your turn.” Harry’s smile is insufferably cheeky, but he can’t help it.
“I’m alright, thanks,” you say, taking another sip of your coffee.
“I don’t think so.” He shakes his head, rounding the corner of the counter and reaching out for you.
“H!” you squeal, nearly tripping over yourself as you stumble backward. “Stop!”
He catches you easily, though, wrapping his arms around you and gripping fistfuls of your towel. With one quick flourish of his fingers, you’re completely naked. The coffee in your mug sloshes dangerously, nearly spilling onto the kitchen tiles.
“I hate you!” you say, laughter lacing your voice. Harry joins in, giggling to himself.
“No, you don’t,” he says, his palms finding your hips. He holds onto you cautiously, careful not to jostle the hand holding your cup. He leans in, and your eyes flutter shut in anticipation of a kiss. Your nose crinkles up in surprise when you feel his lips land on one of your eyelids, planting a silky, barely-there kiss. He switches over to the other side and does the same thing, his chest swelling with warmth when you release a wobbly breath.
“I don’t,” you agree gently. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
Harry’s heartbeat stutters beneath his ribs. Though your words are quiet, the insinuation is painfully loud; he watches your face fall when it all sinks in.
“Me too,” he says quickly, squeezing your waist in reassurance. You stare up at him gratefully. The moment is charged with unspoken sentences and tacit feelings, but neither of you submit an explanation.
Harry offers up a small smile, hoping to drain some of the tension from the air.
“See?” he prompts, shrugging. “We haven’t gone cold. Not yet.”
“‘Not yet’?” you echo, smirking good-naturedly. “When do you suppose that’s gonna happen, then?”
“Maybe in a few decades.” He plays along and pretends to think over his answer. “When we’re old and grey and we can’t stop bickering.” He chuckles. “And we’re sitting on a porch swing and you’re knitting and I’m reading the paper and we’re waiting for our grandkids to pull into the driveway for tea.”
At the mention of grandchildren, your eyes well up with tears. Because grandchildren will have to come from children. And children will come from you—both of you.
“What d’you think?” Harry murmurs. Your gazes lock.
“I think—,” you swallow heavily, blinking rapidly to keep your emotions controlled. Harry watches you with sober eyes, trying to deduce your response from your expression alone. You shoot him a watery smile, reaching up and caressing his jaw with your free hand.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” you say softly, stroking your thumb along his cheek. “A few decades—we can go cold, then.”
~*~
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