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#stop being ashamed or timid
space-blue · 11 months
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I'm still upset about the amount of notes on that one popular Arcane post that reveals a tendency from self taught artists to be shameful of their use of references, or to avoid them. So please check this out:
It's a blog post by Tommy Arnold, the artist who illustrated the omnibus version of the popular Murderbot series. And in it, he walks you through how he prepares his illustrations, beginning with a sketch :
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Then taking his own reference images of himself and friends :
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And banging up compositions, sometimes patchworking limbs from different shots :
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Final result, which is, you know, a paid, professional illustration in a printed omnibus :
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USE FUCKING REFERENCES.
References are professional tools. Also read the whole blog post it's enlightening.
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rose-pearls · 4 months
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Healing one cut at a time
Summary : Clarisse first goes to the med bay because she is forced by one of her siblings but the following times are just to see the daughter of Apollo again.
Requests are open!
Main Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989
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“I told you; I am fine!”, you can hear someone grumble from behind you but you turn back to the twelve-year-old girl in front of you that had fallen and twisted her ankle.
“And I am telling you that you should just go to make sure it is fine,” as you turn around to find what the squabbling is all about, you find Clarisse and one of her brothers glaring at each other.
You couldn’t help but swallow hard at the sight of Clarisse, she had her hair down after capture the flag, and somehow still looked beautiful after running around for three hours.
Clearing your throat, you smiled awkwardly at the two Ares children who looked surprised at your sudden appearance.
“How can I help you?”, you ask softly, after a few seconds of awkward silence. Clarisse seems struck as she watches you with wide eyes, her brother has a smirk as he turns back to you.
“Right, this one was hurt during capture the flag and although it doesn’t look too bad, we just wanted to be sure.”, he says, and you can see Clarisse coming back to herself at her brother’s words.
“You wanted to be sure,” she says with a scowl on her lips, and even then, you can’t stop thinking that she looks stunning.
“Well let’s just make sure, we never know,” you tell them before nodding towards the small bed in the corner.
She doesn’t look so hurt, so you’re surprised to see a cut in her leg, probably done by a sword but she doesn’t look affected at all.
“The good news is that it doesn’t look too deep so I just need to disinfect it and it will be all new after that,” you tell the two as you look over the cut.
As you look up from the wound you see a wide-eyed Clarisse staring back at you, rosy cheeks and owlish brown eyes making your stomach flutter.
“Great!”, you hear suddenly as her brother claps in his hands making the both of you jump in surprise.
“I’ll go get the product.”, you quickly whisper, feeling slightly embarrassed at having been caught looking at the girl.
You can hear the both of them arguing, particularly Clarisse scowling her brother, while he seems far too happy to be in the med bay.
“Someone needs to push you,” you hear him say before you arrive and the both of them turn to you, their conversation suddenly over.
“Hope I’m not interrupting,” you can’t help but say and the both of them shake their heads in disagreement.
“You didn’t!”, her brother says, and you nod slowly before taking the product and softly taking Clarisse leg in your hand.
“This might hurt a little,” you warn her even though you know that the girl will probably not show any type of weakness.
You whisper a few words under your breath as you pass the product on her cut and after a moment it starts healing itself.
“There you go, all new,” you say, and Clarisse seems a bit disappointed at the sight.
“Right, thank you I guess.”, she says after clearing her throat.
“Thank you for the help! We better get going,” he says before taking Clarisse with him, the girl looking back one last time with a timid smile, one that you would’ve never thought you would see Clarisse wearing. 
--
She was being stupid, she knew it, hell her whole cabin knew it too, but she just couldn’t stop going to see you at the med bay. She would use every excuse possible, hoping to catch a glimpse of you and you sweet smile.
“Clarisse, what happened this time?”, she hears you ask, your voice like music to her ears.
“My idiot of a brother didn’t watch where he was throwing his arrow,” she says, feeling slightly ashamed of the fact that she had been here every day until you smile at her warmly.
“Come sit down, I’ll look over it,” she does as is said and can’t help but feel a little excited at the prospect of you taking care of her. 
She didn’t want to feel weak, and the way she felt weak at your touch made her scared, but she couldn’t help coming back and having your whole attention solely focused on her. Her father would probably be telling her that she was weak but when you would talk with her softly, as to not disturb the sleeping children, she couldn’t help but forget all about him.
“You’re beautiful,” she realizes she has said the words before she can think not to say them. There is a loud silence, as you look at her slightly in shock, like a fish out of water.
You open your mouth to say something but before she let’s you have the opportunity to respond she fled the scene. Her face is hot with shame and embarrassment at her slip up, already making a plan at how to best escape the situation, and you specifically. That is until she feels a hand on her arm, making her turn around to face you.
You look slightly breathless from having ran after her, but you still look as beautiful as the first day she had seen you. She had fallen for you the moment she saw you; her siblings had quickly caught onto her crush and as much as they teased her, they would often tell her in the quiet of the night that she should go for it, go for the little sunshine that she could have. 
“You often leave a conversation without letting the other person answer?”, she hears you say, making her look at you in surprise.
“Guess I didn’t know how you would react,” she can’t help but say as she looks into your sad eyes.
“Well, maybe if you had stayed a bit longer you could have heard my response,” you say with a soft smile.
“What is that?”, the curiosity is killing her, but she also feels scared for the first time in a long time. 
“That I think that you are beautiful, probably a thousand more times than me,” she hears you say, and she suddenly feels breathless at your words but can’t help but disagree with a scoff.
“Please, you are the most beautiful woman, even Aphrodite herself would be jealous of your beauty,” the words are filled with passion, a passion that she usually only held for fighting and capture the flag. The surprise in your eyes make her feel suddenly shy, but as you get closer to her, she gets a whiff of your perfume making her relax slightly.
“That is probably not true but thank you,” you whisper, now closer to her than you have been before, but she still scoffs as she hears you disagree with her previous statement.
She gets ready to argue but before she can start, she feels your lips against hers, and for a moment she can’t think. Her stomach is bursting with butterflies and the smell of you is all around her.
Just as she feels you stopping the kiss, she wraps her hands around your cheeks, bringing you into a passionate kiss, hoping to make you understand everything she feels for you.
“You drive me crazy, sunshine,” she whispers, breathless, after the most dizzying kiss and she wants to kiss you again until she has no air in her lungs.
Your small giggle makes her smile and peck your lips softly.
“Who knew you could be so sweet La Rue,” she hears you whisper teasingly against her lips, and she can’t help but roll her eyes at your words.
“Only for you. Better keep this to yourself because it could ruin my reputation,” she says, a small warning in her voice but you just nod in agreement.
“We should go back to the med bay to look at that cut of yours,” she hears you say, a worried tone coating your words.
“Don’t worry beautiful, I’m fine. The only thing I need right know is you close to me and kisses,” she says as she brings you even closer by the waist, with a smirk as she sees you blushing.
“That can be arranged,” you whisper against her lips before she brings you back into another mind-blowing kiss.
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matryosika · 4 months
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Mark; Power Dynamic and Other Analysis
Wordcount: 1,065 words Includes: Silly little headcanons Genre: Smut, 18+ Author’s note: This is purely based on my imagination and the vibes I get from him. You may or may not agree with me, and that’s completely okay —this is only me free associating for a thousand words straight. Please enjoy whatever this is, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me! Credits: MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune !
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First things first, I sense that Mark loves to be in control. 
With that being said, I honestly don't picture him as a hard dominant. He might not even care about roles, anyway, but he is naturally leaning towards the dominant side. 
He is really playful with the role, though. Mark is such a tease, and really creates an environment in which you can feel comfortable. He takes it upon himself to reassure you in every step of the fucking way —if he feels like you’re shying away from him, he would do anything just to bring you back to him.
For instance, I feel like one of his priorities in bed is to make sure you feel comfortable exposing yourself to him. I can really see him being into body worshiping and might even kneel in front of you and kiss your body from head to toe, whispering sweet nothings while asking all the right questions: "do you like it when I kiss you like this?, "does it feel good?", "do you want me touch you here?", and so on.
Despite the natural dominance I see in him, I do feel like he can get needier and more desperate than you, and he is not really ashamed of expressing it. This man is whiny, might even beg you to let him please you. And it's good that he is very talkative, because I just know his voice gets deeper and raspier in sexual contexts. At the same time, he is not really that loud; it's all whispers and murmurs, half of his words are muffled because he just has to have his lips attached to your skin and flesh. 
But when I say he is talkative, I mean it. The type to curse under his breath, and even start rambling about how much he loves you and how good you're making him feel. At one point he stops making any sense, because he is no longer thinking with his head but his dick. 
Mark might seem shy and collected at first, but I feel like the most he progresses into a sexual encounter, the less timid and more primal he becomes. 
But even then, I don't picture him as someone who might enjoy degrading or humiliating you, and certain practices like impact play might be a big no for him. I feel like he could try if you asked him to, but I don't think he would enjoy it just for the sake of slapping or spanking you. If he does enjoy it, it's probably out of ego —the fact that you're trusting him enough to ask him such things, and that you're enjoying them.
But, willingly, I don't think Mark would ever inflict pain on you like that.
Overstimulation and denial, however, are a whole other topic for him. He doesn't mind hurting you a little if he knows you can take it, and that it can become pleasure in exchange for a little pain —the way he proves your loyalty is through how good you're at following his orders and how willing you're to leave your pleasure aside, or endure a little pain, just because he asked you to. 
Mark is a hopeless romantic, and that translates into sex as a somewhat possessive partner. He is only yours, as long as you prove to him that you're only his. He is going to love you passionately if only you can do the same for him; he never hesitates when it comes to you, and he expects you to be the same when it comes to him. 
Because of this passion and intensity, I think he is very much the jealous type. Get jealous easily, and might act a little bit impulsive on it. Also, he isn't afraid of bringing said topics with you —if something bothers him, he will tell you without beating around the bush. It may conflict him, and he might get shy when talking to you about whatever it was that upsetted him, but he never keeps such things for himself.
That's kind of relevant because I think the possessive, jealous part of him really makes an appearance in bed —he wants to hear you say how you belong to him, and him only; how your body it's only his to touch and kiss, how you don't want anyone else but him.
Mark wants everything there is of you —your mind, heart and body. 
And that's why sex is always so intense; not necessarily rough, but emotionally I feel like he brings a shit ton of vulnerability and he needs you to do the same. Sex with him it's always so fucking intimate, and it can get really filthy because trust is one of the most important things for him —he doesn't care about the mess, as long as it is your mess (with this I mean like certain fluids or things one might find disgusting, but to him they really aren’t). 
He might be an experimentalist; he is willing to try everything at least once before deciding if he is into it or not. He’s also pretty good at communicating and putting his thoughts and emotions into words, so that gives me the impression that he is really in touch with himself and his preferences. 
So, going back to the power dynamic bit, I don't see Mark willingly and fully submitting to you. Although I said he might not even care about those sorts of roles, I feel like he is the most comfortable with being in charge of your pleasure and his. For some it might be a burden, but not for him —he leans towards dominance naturally, not to assert it but because he likes it.
Mark is always gentle, but in the midst of things I really believe he can manhandle you unintentionally. He might squeeze your hands a bit too harshly, or grip your hips a bit too rough; not to hurt you, but because he loses his mind in between. He gets so drunk on you and your body, that he just forgets the whole world surrounding him but you.
To wrap things up, I must say he is a fucking great kisser. I do see him as someone who kisses sloppily, but in a "I definitely know what I'm doing" kind of way. He bites, and uses tongue, and just makes sure to kiss you deeply until your mouth is full of him. Mark either places his hands on each side of your face or takes you by your waist to press his body against yours.
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vilegores · 3 months
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𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋. ♡
simon “ghost” riley x fem!reader
warnings: adult content(18+), feminine terms used (princess, she/her pronouns, etc.), mutual masturbation, inexperienced!reader, corruption kink, praise kink, slight daddy kink, phone sex, overstimulation.
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simon loves the fact that you're innocent.
he thrives in knowing that you're such a naïve thing when it comes to the awareness of what goes on inside the bedroom.
it delights him at the thought of teaching you the things you've been deprived of; it was nasty of him and it's taking everything in his power to constrain himself.
so when you suddenly facetiming him at two in the morning, asking how to touch yourself, his brain just went haywire at the filth that filled his mind.
"how are you feeling right now, baby?" he questions, voice low and raspy as he tried to contain such impurities from spilling out of his mouth, his dick starting to stir against the tight fabric of his boxers.
you whine softly on the other side of the phone; too ashamed that you came up to him with such erotic questions, "i feel like—" you stop mid-way, taking a deep breath in, "—like i want to be touched." you answered truthfully, knowing better than to lie to him.
"does my angel want to touch herself?" he asks, tongue jutting out to wet his lips, now palming himself to soothe it's aching needs. "use your words, pretty girl."
the change in his demeanor, despite it being behind the cellphone screen caused you to fall into quick submission, “y-yes, simon, please.” your words causing your cheeks to glow a rosy pink at the realization that you have never even done it yourself. you looked away from his piercing gaze, voice soft and timid, “but i’ve never done it before”
those words were enough to make simon cream in his boxers from the euphoria he was feeling that you were, indeed, such an innocent being at his mercy. but he knew he had to take it slow, to pace things just so he wouldn’t overwhelm you with the activities he would love to do to you.
“then i can help you out, princess.” he says softly, shifting in his position so his back was against the headboard of his hotel bedroom.
his dark orbs blown with lust as he catches your uncertainty through the screen, tongue poking against the inside of his cheek. “do you want me to help you out, doll?” he asks, wanting to hear you say that you wanted to do this with him.
you nod, nipping at your bottom lip as you look back at him, his disheveled state making the unknown ache in the middle of your legs intensify. “yes, simon. please,” you ask once more, cheeks flaring up at the unusual way of begging.
“prompt your camera somewhere on the bed, daddy wants to see you.” simon orders, his tone quiet yet firm. his eyes were glued to the screen as he watched you shift the camera for a bit until you had it prompted against a small pile of pillows, your body in full view for the camera.
catching a glimpse of you in his shirt made him throw his head back, a groan escaping his lips. “are you wearing anything underneath? take it all off.”
easily complying, you stripped off from his clothes only to reveal that you were completely naked underneath, earning another satisfied hum from the male. his voice was octave lower, “open up for me.” as he watched you with an intense stare, motioning you to open up your legs for him.
you spread your legs wide open, your soaking cunt glistening and in full view in the camera just for him. you can hear him mumble a string of curses mixed with praises from the sight, “show me what you know, princess.” you followed, a single hand snaking down as a single digit swipes your slit gently, eyes closing at the foreign pleasure.
simon was in heaven seeing you touch yourself, “go on, doll. just like that.” was all that he managed to say, taking his cock out of his boxers as he slowly started to pump himself, his thumb circling around his tip to catch some of the pre-cum that coated it.
you then stumble upon your aching clit, rubbing circles on the bud gently as waves of pleasure roll out your mouth, your back arching lightly as your legs tremble to stay wide open. “keep those legs open, pretty girl. daddy wants to see everything you’re doing.” his voice was low, soft grunts of his own pleasure ringing in your ear.
“i want to see everything that you’re going to do once i get home tomorrow.”
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cannedbeefaroni · 7 months
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okok giving incel!edward his first blowjob, hed be so overstimulated n he cums so quickly, he just can’t help himself !!
fuck it i'm thinking about this carnally
(gender/sex neutral reader)
it wouldn't matter that he's creepy and sweaty and awkward, you'd need him. he's so jaded he can't even react appropriately to your advances, he just goes quiet and timid, acting as if you're just toying with him. he's so scared of being picked apart: being seen for the perverted freak he is. your first act of intimacy with him was simply laying your head in his lap, which horrified him. so suddenly he was sharing body heat with another person for what felt like the first time in his life. it wasn't intrusive or malicious. your touch was inviting and safe.
so soft. he couldn't think of anything else besides how soft you were. how gentle and sweet you were with him despite how grotesque he had become. his legs were shaking at the thought as his fingers gripped your hair at the scruff of your neck, not knowing what "gentle" even meant, but needing to hold you. his heart stops, hearing you whimper at his grip on you, worried he's done something horribly wrong. though he expects you to pull away, you bury your face into his lap, feeling how his cock hardens in excitement from such simple touches. He doesn’t know if you’re even aware of what you’re doing, until your mouth brushes up over his clothed cock.
It might be way too forward, but he starts quickly undoing his belt with shaky hands. As he unbuttons his pants, yanking them down, he notices you mouth agape as you pull back, staring as he shyly pulls his hard cock out of his boxers.
Yeah? This what you want? he asks, trying to have an air of dominance in his tone, but ultimately sounding as if he’s pleading for you, but you don’t mind, as you wrap your fingers around his dick, replacing his hand with yours.
He’s freaking out internally, fully aware of the fact that you’re the first person to ever touch him like this. Suddenly, he worries if he smells, or if he was being too forward in exposing himself to you. Wincing, he whines as you grip his cock especially tightly. He throws his head back, ashamed in knowing he shouldn’t like this type of pain. His stomach does a backflip as your mouth hangs open, drawing your tongue out as you tease the tip of his cock.
He feels disgusted, as every part of his body knows his dick is repulsive. That probably no one deserved to see it, let alone put their mouth on it. It twitched and throbbed from the gentle torture. As your lips wrap around his tip, something consumes him, and he grabs your hair, thrusting deep into your mouth on instinct. As you gag, he lets go, horrified. He apologizes profusely, knowing he just ruined everything, but he’s shocked when you grab his hand, guiding it back to your hair, as you push your head back down on his cock.
Please, please, please, please, please, he whispers through sharp breaths.
it makes him want to cry: the way you swallow him hole. devouring him as if it gets you off as it does him. he can't look you in the eyes as you stare up at him as if what you were doing was innocent. you pushed him deep into your throat, reaching his base. he gasps loudly, throwing his head back as he thrusts hard. after only a few slow pumps, he's already exploding for you. he freaks out, pulling his cock out, but it's too late, as he accidentally cums all over your face. his orgasm is so intense, it almost hurts. even after it spurting across your face, his tip is still leaking as he grips his cock tightly.
I'm so sorry, he sobs, feeling the shame settle in.
please, hold me, you whine as you pull your head back up to his level. he holds you are your waist tightly, as you crawl into his lap. you wipe your face with the back of your hand before feeling him inching closer. with a shove, his lips press against yours in an attempted kiss. you accept it, kissing him back.
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crucialplayer · 10 months
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How to piss off/annoy each zodiac sign
!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.
Virgo. Draw attention just for the sake of it. Deliberately skew the facts and don’t pause to let them correct you - you are a powerhouse and nothing can stop you from saying the most dumb shit ever. Remember to do it unapologetically too.
Capricorn. Be unemployed. Don’t be ashamed of it. Imply that life without a purpose and a goal is just as valid. Express no will in achieving things and present it as something not only reasonable but admirable. 
Taurus. Anything ugly will do. Considering that they are picky as fuck almost everything is ugly to them. Make them put in effort, burden them with some kind of task. Make them move when they don’t want to. 
Sagittarius. Tell them they are wrong. Say something like «yeah but it’s just your personal experience not a fact». Invite them to a party full of monogamous judgmental married couples with kids. 
Leo. Don't compliment them esp when they’ve visibly put a ton of care into their fit. try to Be louder than them. Compare them to someone they don’t like. Be the one person in the room that doesn't give them attenti- oh wait that’ll actually make them fall for u nevermind. 
Aries. Be indecisive or timid. If you are in a group setting slow everyone down by requiring some form of emotional support. Tell them they are not capable of something. 
Cancer. Deprive them of comfort. Be pushy or rude unprovoked. Make plans with them that are nearly impossible to cancel. Don't let them rant about something that has upset them. 
Pisces. Don’t let them sprint off immediately when faced with minor inconvenience. Give them realistic feedback when they are sharing their dreams and plans with you (might cause a minor heart attack. be careful). Any kind of office-job-like task will also do. 
Scorpio. Insinuate that they are flaky. Keep the mood light-hearted. Bring up the topic of open relationships. Be the one that is faster to start talking to that one shy and mysterious person in the room. 
Gemini. When they are telling a story, ask them to be specific and precise with the dates/names/circumstances. Talk to them for some time and then test how well they’ve listened to you. Show no signs of being impressed by them. 
Aquarius. Trap them in perpetual small talk. Talk about the pick me phenomenon in their presence. At a party invite someone who has more piercings than them. Make everyone talk about that one super popular TV show.
Libra. Give them only Yes or No as answer options. Ruin the flow of a conversation. Be very radical with your opinions. Make them choose a side in an argument. Dress as tacky as you can (and flex it).
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another-lost-mc · 11 months
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I have this feeling that Levi (perv that he is) actually has a pretty bad cuckhold and voyeurism kink with MC. He's ashamed of it and thinks he's so gross for liking to watch his brothers fuck MC (which feeds into his canon degradation fetish) but after he tries it once he can't make hhimself stop.
I think the only caveat would be that he would only do it with MC's permission and in secret (i.e. over shared footage or in a closet or something). If he's actually in the room, the jealousy gets a lot more pronounced and he can't enjoy it as much.
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…I was going to shelve this until after the 2k event, but then I started making dinner and kept thinking about it—Levi watching MC with one of his brothers, inviting them to his room afterwards and—damn it, Anon, you win. Enjoy whatever this is. 🥴
[LEVIATHAN x gn!Reader, 0.4k words, NSFW, CW: mentions of voyeurism, fingering, dirty talk, light dom/sub dynamics, pet names]
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Your dripping-wet hole squelched obscenely as Levi thrust two of his fingers inside. His touch was exploratory and timid, and you sighed appreciatively at the sensation of being filled by his thick fingers.
“You’re so-you’re so wet,” his voice warbled, tinged with awe and envy. He stared as he thrusted his fingers in and out of your body at a lazy pace, and his eyes lingered on the slick dribbling out of you that was from—that wasn’t his.
“Mm, you asked me not to clean up so I came straight away,” you teased him with a cheeky smile. You watched his throat bob when he swallowed. “You like it when they get me all messy for you, don’t you, baby?”
He nodded almost excitedly, even though his eyes darted only briefly to yours before flicking back down to your greedy hole clenching around his fingers, like you still weren't satisfied even after one of his brothers fucked you senseless.
His cheeks were flushed from embarrassment and desire, but he licked his chapped lips as anticipation grew heavy between you. Whatever pleasure he derived from watching his brothers fuck you outweighed the bitterness lurking deep inside him. Now he had a chance to be with you too, to try and pump you full and claim you for himself like they did.
His other hand was laced with yours and resting on your lower belly. When you squeezed your fingers around his, he glanced up and looked at you curiously.
“Do you want to come inside me too?” you asked him, biting your lip demurely to entice him even further.
“Can I?” He sounded so hopeful, so eager to please you. You knew his cock was achingly hard where it was still trapped in the confines of his boxer briefs, and you nodded.
He pulled his fingers from your body carefully, and you couldn’t help the soft groan that escaped you from the loss. You rolled over onto your hands and knees, lowering your chest to the floor so your ass was raised high in the air. You glanced at him over hour shoulder and grinned when his horns and tail emerged. His gaze lingered on the empty hole between your thighs, just begging to be filled again, by him.
“Come on, Levi,” you murmured thickly and wiggled your hips invitingly, your dark eyes mirroring the lust pooling in his own, “fuck me.”
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obey me! masterlist
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doctorcanon · 5 months
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A little obsessed with the potential brotherly dynamic between The Captain and Mask. I know there are lots of other characters from the series in HW but hear me out okay?
Imagine being The Captain:
You take the strangest kid under your wing during the war. He's mostly unobtrusive. Mature for his age, quiet, but generally churlish. Can barely read (ill explain this HC one day) but fights like a demon and is clearly immensely troubled but doesn't know how to express himself.
You eventually connect over a shared burden and become rather attached to the kid. You're the only one he actually speaks to. Moreover, people have started calling you "the twins" even though he much younger than you. You teach him practical things like improving his reading, clothes mending and social graces. He teaches you about the natural world, herbalism and orienteering. You even give him a nickname "Mask" that he reluctantly answers to. But as the war wears on and the battles get harder, the boy has to rely on his masks more and more. Save for the one he calls Oni. He says its his failsafe and mentions nothing else.
Until one day, during the penultimate battle, you and your battalion are overwhelmed. Grievously injured, you call for Mask to get to safety. The next thing you remember is hearing "dont worry, captain, I'll protect you, i promise." Then flashes of a hulking demon laying waste to the battlefield with a helix shaped sword. You also remember a great and terrible silence and the sensation of being carried.
When you wake, Zelda informs you that the battle has been won but Mask along with several others, are missing. Even when the war is won and over, you search that battlefield, all surrounding areas and lists of the dead for any sign of Mask. You find nothing and eventually your duties as Captain must be seen to.
Three years later, you follow up on reports of an aberration found around the area Mask disappeared. The portal drops you unceremoniously into a Hyrule you don't recognize. You meet 8 others just like you, all named Link, each bearing the Mark of Destiny and honestly kinda sick of all this shit. The Oldest One - face heavily scarred and blind in one eye - holds your gaze for a little too long. When you ask him about it, he only apologizes awkwardly.
Needing some space during a particularly raucous night, you decide to check up on your party's resident Old Man who just so happens to be reorganizing his things. And you see it: Oni, the Fierce Deity; the War God that nearly won them the war but not the little boy who carried it.
"Where did you get this? Who gave it to you?" You ask. When he doesn't give you an answer, you insist. "That mask is one of a kind, and only one person I know had it, what happened to him."
The silence that follows is so thick, not even the Master Sword could cut it. The Old Man - Time, they call him - is taller than the rest of them, but his stature is bent by bone deep weariness. The scars on his face pull his features in different directions, the bridge of his nose is split, the remains of his empty eye socket droop painfully without his eye patch, the left corner of his mouth peel back to show more of his teeth - two of which are missing. But his remaining eye - bright, alert and unnervingly blue - pleads with him and the realization dawns on him before Time turns away, almost timid but mostly ashamed.
"He kept fighting, Captain. He kept fighting until he couldn't anymore and kept going. Until..."
You embrace him before you can stop yourself. He's just as surprised as you are. But he doesn't throw you off or scold you. Instead, he sinks into the hug with a long, shuddering sigh of relief. He's so tall now, he nearly bowls you over. Then quietly, through tears Captain can't see, he says
"I'm sorry...I thought you be disappointed." Your heart that was frantically picking up the piece just a moment ago breaks all over again. You can still hear that little boy buried in somewhere the gruff baritone you've grown accustomed to. Something bittersweet festers inside you, a melange of emotions you can't possibly unpack in this moment. But not one of them is disappointment. You pull away, taking him by the shoulders and giving him a little shake.
"You are so much more than I could've ever imagined. Whatever you've done, you survived and I couldn't be more proud."
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no-phrogs-in-hats · 5 months
Note
Heyyy :)
I'd love to read lesso with never student r (platonic) cause I just love the dynamic
I was thinking maybe about r being very hard working but tends to overwork themselves cause they want to make lesso proud and as much as lesso loves a hard working student she sees how much this affects r health so she steps in
Have a nice day!
Take a Break
Lady Lesso x Platonic!reader
Warnings: none
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In Lesso’s words you were, “The only competent student she had that year.” You had never received such a complement and your need for academic validation was beaming.
However, in this class, just weeks before the final exam, your head was currency on your desk. Drool was forming in the corner of your mouth just as the loud bang of Lesso’s cane hit the desk.
You jolted out of your doze, heart racing as you wiped your mouth on your sleeve. “Sorry,” you mumbled before sitting up straight.
“You may have the highest grade in this class,” she said, “but I’d recommend paying attention. Your exam is worth half your grade and this is an important subject in our review.”
Your stomach dropped at the thought of disappointing her. You craved her validation. You needed it to breathe. You lived for it. What were you without her validation?
“Right. Sorry.”
When the bell rang an hour later, Lesso stopped you before you got to the door. “I need to speak with you.”
Your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment as a group of girls giggled, glancing at you and mumbling, “Ooo, they’re in trouble.”
When Lesso sat down at her desk, you stood in front of her, timid and practically shaking. She cleared her throat and clasped her hands, resting them on the desk. “You have never fallen asleep in my class.”
“I know!” you said frantically. “I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again! I promi–”
She sighed before interrupting you, “Stop.”
“What?”
“Stop talking.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“Sor–Yes Ma’am.”
She scratched just above her eyebrow as she thought about what to say. “I don’t usually take concern in my students’...problems. I can tell you’re ambitious, As I said, you have the highest grade. You’ve turned in every homework assignment early, every essay at least a week early, and have received top marks on every test and exam. However,” she sighed, “it is blatantly obvious that it is taking a toll on your health.”
“Lady Lesso, I swear–”
“I know you didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said, “and that’s why I’m talking to you about this. You’re always awake and alert and answering every question I ask. So, why did you fall asleep today?”
“Um…” You didn’t want to answer. Part of you felt ashamed, convinced you disappointed her. “I was…um…I just went to bed late.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
“...I was studying,” you sighed, finally caving into her pressure.
She pursed her lips, groaning internally. “The exam isn’t for another two weeks. Y–”
“I know, I know!” you cried. “But…I just…” You tried not to tell her. You tried to swallow the word vomit, but it was no use. “I just want to impress you and make you proud!”
Lesso let out a scoff. “Oh, sweetheart,” she chimed, “have you seen your classmates? You’re the only one who received an A on your essay about torture methods at the beginning of the year. After that, I knew you’d be the top student.” She stood up from her desk and walked you to the door. “Now, here’s what I want you to do. You’re not attending any classes tomorrow.” Your mouth opened in protest but she cut you off, “No protests! I won’t have you work yourself to death just for my praise.”
When Lesso opened the door, you trudged over.
“I’ll excuse you for any work you miss tomorrow and I’ll send notes to your other teachers to do the same,” she continued. “Alright?”
Before you left, you sighed. “Okay.”
“Good,” she said simply. “And if I get word that you’re in any class…well, I’ll think of something.”
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sweet-lover-girl · 1 year
Text
Take care of yourself, Honey.
Soooo one last thing before I slither back to the shadows, I got sick last night because I forgot to eat so I wrote about it…this is super short and sweet!
Sweet fluff with some angst(?) (reader gets sick but not like sick sick, just an upset empty stomach), lots of nicknames being used here as well! Reader is mentioned to having a stutter
———
You start to cough as you place your hand over your mouth to try and silence it, bending over as you heave. Abby was rubbing your back as you continue to cough, your whole body trembling as you felt a wave of nausea rush over you.
“Baby what’s going on?” Abby asked as she kneeled down in front of you as you leaned forward. You just shake your head and clench your eyes shut. You knew what was wrong, but you also knew Abby would get your ass for not eating again - you honestly rather get sick then her be mad at you.
“Sweet girl, please talk to me, what’s going on— why are you so sick all of a sudden?”
Your shoulders slump as you sigh, dropping your hand from your mouth to place it over your tummy once you stop heaving, looking at the ground as you answer her. “I-I don’t know—well I know why I’m sick I just-“
“Hey,” Abby grabbed your chin and made you look at her. She had a calm, slightly concerned look on her face. “Take it easy love.” Her way of telling you to think about your words so your don’t stutter as much - she knew your stutter made you mad and embarrassed.
You sigh and look down at the floor— ashamed before you even told her what was wrong.
You mumble out a few words and Abby has to lean towards you to try and hear better. “What baby?” You start to fidget with your hands, picking at your nails and the skin around them, making Abby grab your hands and she places gentle kisses on your knuckles, you smile at her; making her grin as she looked up at you with a twinkle in her eye.
She continues to do this all the way up your arm, placing soft and sweet kisses anywhere she could reach until she made it to your shoulder, she stood up and leaned down to kiss your forehead before leaning back to look down at you,“Now, what’s wrong.” She demanded you tell her.
You bite your lip,”I’m sorry..” you mumble once more and hide your face - by leaning up against her breasts. Abby shakes her head and places her hand on top of your head, resting it there as her other hand grabbed yours to make you stop picking at the raw skin.
“I didn’t eat anything today..”
“Fuck baby,” she cursed, but not at you.
“Is that why your dry heaving?” She asked.
You nod and kept your head on her chest— still trying to stay hidden, you knew she got upset when your forgot to take care of yourself, especially when it was hurting you and making you sick, like now.
“Okay, we need to get you some food.” Abby muttered out as she gently pulled away from you and walked over to grab her boots and put them back on. You look up at her with wide eyes, but she just got back from patrol. You shake your head and quickly stood up making your stomach turn, making you wince.
“Abs, you just got back from patrol, come sleep, I’ll go get food for us both.” You offer, feeling really guilty for making her do more work and having to leave the room again.
“It’s okay Baby, I still need to talk to Isaac anyways.” Abby said without looking at you.
You hum and look down at your fingers, picking at them once more, making your fingers sting from pain. Abby watches as your demeanor falls and you look like your gonna cry, so she slowly walks up to your timid form. She gently grabs your hands and you look up at her with tears in your eyes. Abby sighs, she hates seeing you sad. She lifts her hand up to cup your cheek.
“What’s wrong love?” She asked running her thumb over the swell of your cheek.
You sniffle and huddle up close to her, she smiles and wraps her arms around you, waiting for you to answer.
“I just feel bad..”
“About?” Abby questioned.
“You just got back from patrol and now you’re taking care of me, having to do more work—“
“Hey.” She said sharply making you flinch a little.
She sighs and hugs you even closer,”Taking care of my sweet girl is not a form of work, I love taking care of you, I just need you to also take care of yourself when I’m not here, okay?” She whispered in your ear. You nod and clench her shirt in your fist.
“I will, I promise.” You say.
She hums and runs her hand up and down your back before saying,”I know you will, I just need you to take care of yourself, Honey.” And places a kiss in your forehead.
“Now let’s get you some food, okay?” She says, pulling you towards the door with a smile, making you smile back at her.
———
For the sake of keeping this short, I didn’t add the whole I usually can’t eat when I’m sick. Anyways I hope y’all like it!
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gabessquishytum · 7 months
Note
It’s been like two months and I’m still thinking about that one inmate Dream/ guard Hob idea where Dream becomes obsessed with Hob and eventually makes his move, getting another guard to lock Hob in his cell with him for some quality time.
After their night together, when the same guard shows up to let Hob out, hob is sore and ashamed but has never come so many times in a row. Dream helps him back into his clothes and kisses him deeply and sweetly against the bars of his cell.
Hob immediately calls in sick for the next two weeks. In that time, he thinks about asking to transfer. He thinks about quitting and running away, changing his name, starting a new life. He doesn’t do any of it.
Instead he has sleeps poorly and wakes up hard and aching and afraid. He jumps at every shadow. He buys his first dildo and tries to recreate the things Dream made him feel. But he can’t quite do it.
Eventually…Hob returns to his job. When he walks by Dream’s cell he tries not to stop…but Dream calls his name, full of concern. If hob didn’t know better, he’d think it was love.
Dream asks if he was sick, if he is feeling better. Hob can’t quite look at him as he says yes.
Dream knows he is lying. He steps up against the bars, anger starting to build in his eyes. How could his darling lie to him? After they shared such a special night? Maybe Hob isn’t special. Maybe he’s just like the others.
Hob hurries on and Dream has an absolute melt down. He trashes his cell. He shreds his pillows and his sheets that no longer smell like Hob anyway.
For days he sulks with rage.
Until. One night Hob stops outside his cell. He breaks down and tells Dream he hasn’t been able to satisfy himself since his night with Dream. And all Dream’s rage fades away. Now he understands. His poor darling. He invites Hob to come back inside. Hob puts his hand on the keys…but backs out at the last minute. He just stares at Dream, eyes desperate and anguished. He tells Dream he can’t. Hob flees again.
But now Dream is elated. This is proof that Hob does love him after all! He’s just afraid of how much he feels.
And maybe if Hob is still too timid to come to him…maybe Dream will just have to break out and go to Hob himself.
The unhinged dominant Dream vibes are so good in this au, I love it.
Poor Hob. The thing is, he's the only person who can really handle Dream properly (without Dream getting extremely violent). So whenever something needs to be done with Dream, guess who gets sent in to do it? Hob. And of course he can't say no because then it might come out that he slept with a prisoner, and that's a major violation and would get him fired. The only one who knows what happened is the other corrupt guard, and Hob is absolutely avoiding him at all costs. He has to get on with his job.
The problem is, he sees Dream all the time and he can't stop thinking about him. About their night together and how it felt so good despite also feeling so wrong. And now Dream knows that Hob can't stop thinking about him and somehow it's even worse! Now he truly won't give up his quest to be reunited with his darling.
Every time Hob walks by, or comes in to inspect the cell, Dream tells his that its ok to be shy. He understands! Hob is overwhelmed by his feelings; it's totally normal. Dream feels the same, only he's braver. He doesn't mind being the brave one though. He starts giving Hob handmade gifts, and sneaking up to kiss him when he can get away with it. Hob doesn't stop him. In fact, he even relaxes a bit. Dream is being so much more docile, actually... perhaps he's chilled out a bit. Perhaps everything will be ok.
And then one day the morning staff arrive to find the night shift works dead or incapacitated, and Dream’s cell empty. Hob doesn't show up to work that day, nor does he answer his phone. The search for Hob and the manhunt for Dream begin simultaneously and becomes very clear that the two things are connected.
Across the country in a small motel room, Hob finds himself handcuffed to the bed (for his own safety apparently) with Dream pressed up against him, murmuring sweet words of love. His heart is racing, and his body has rediscovered all of those satisfied feelings that he hasn't had since his first time with Dream. Of course, none of this is going to end well... but Dream is moving down the bed and nuzzling against the front of Hob’s underwear, looking up at him with big soft eyes... and Hob suddenly forgets all of his rational thoughts. Dream has fucked him up for good.
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absolutebl · 1 year
Text
This Week in BL - OMG PLEASE STOP SINGING
May 2023 Wk 2 
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Step By Step (Thai Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 4 of 10 (MDL still says 12, but Gaga still says 10) - Jeng trying to improve himself so awkwardly is kinda sweet. I love that Bruce it here & queer! Yay! Chot is my favorite but Pat is my spirit animal, I always sniff people’s bath products. Jeng looking at Pat in the suit = hello, future husband. The irony of Pat running around trying to find Jeng’s weakness, when it’s clearly him. Also WASH YOUR HANDS & NO SINGING. 
La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - still loving this one, enjoyed seeing the seme’s side of the meat cute. The miscommunication seems properly vested (although we may be manipulated by the visuals into thinking it’s kissing when it isn’t). But so far I am all in. Also killer chemistry with the leads already. My catnip. BUT... NO SINGING! 
Our Skyy 2 (Vise Versa) eps 7-8 - Each day of the month is a BL trope? That jives. The kid was a fun plot twist - if he had been real and not a lie. I chortled a lot and all the domesticity was nice, but I wasn’t surprised when it was all Pluen lying again. Once a liar, always a liar. Could Jimmy please play a better character next time? Also. NO SINGING. 6/10
Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 eps - Amnesia just makes me feel like we backslid and all the previous work of watching 9 eps is for naught. And it was WORK with this show. At least it only lasted one episode, but still, they’re gonna use it to continue the rift? Sigh. 
A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 11 of 12 - As much as I dislike these characters being constantly betrayed by the narrative, I really do love Cher. A sunshine sweetheart who is actually a decent honest human, who’s not ashamed of his love or his personality, it’s really rare and admirable on screen. I have to give B&B props for this character, if nothing else. And there is nothing else. This was possibly one of the stupidest episode 11 dooms ever fielded. And I do not say that lightly.
The Promise (Thai Weds YT & WeTV) ep 8 of 10 - This show has got to stop dwelling on the separation, every time they do it it just makes Phu look worse. I legitimately didn’t think that was possible. I LOVE Party so much. Not only is he a good friend, and probably an excellent boyfriend, he’s a great businessman. Khun is lovely too. Happy to have him win Nan’s heart. Really, anyone but Phu. Also Nan = an ace who collects hotties everywhere he goes? Props baby. 
House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - Very soap - kinda creepy, too long pauses, bloated cast, and utter confusion. Odd. The captions are insane, one name can (and will) be spelled 3 different ways. It’s a VAST cast and I can only really identify 3 characters: 1. the actor with the (beard?) gf who’s a suspiciously militant ally, 2. The oldest actor in the house with dark traumatic past, 3. The adorable evil femme who needles everyone. I might drop this show, I’m only really still watching bc it’s the only BL airing on Monday. Also: NO SINGING
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I’ve been waiting for this chapter. It’s one of my favorites from the manga. 
Love Mate (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 3-4 of 8 - Aggressive flirting or stalking? These 2 give Lovely Writer vibes. Honestly, I never thought Korea would go so very old school yaoi. Also went quickly to a high heat place I wasn’t expecting (but Japan would). 50% for a sex scene is very gay but wild for a KBL. If this were Strongberry it would’ve ended on this episode and I would’ve been fine with it. Now what? 4 eps of boyfriends? That’s cool but what is this crazy surreal BL world I am living in?
Happy Merry Ending (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 5-6 of 8 - Honestly, Korea, does it always have to be a love triangle? Always? Anygay, timid tsundere & confident sunshine is an interesting match. They’re sweet together, almost kindly. I like the calm ache of this pair. At first I thought it would be too much like Love Mate, but they’re completely different. I really want someone to punch the CEO ex, oh goodie! Battle of the hyungs. 
Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) - very in line with the my cat boyfriend tradition but honestly how can any human look like that? He truly myst be a cat. 
The Day I Loved You (Pinoy YouTube) eps 4-5 of 10 - It’s cute. They’re cute. Truth comes out when locked in a bathroom. Yay a new pinoy BL I actually like for a change. It’s been a LONG time. However BOOO for the doomy  “I want to be remembered, are you dying”. But a nicely dramatic midpoint. 
Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - How can he be so completely unaware of how in love he is? Ah well, I suppose we aren’t yet half way through and it’s one of THOSE JBLs. In yaoi half the time you are husbands before you even confess you like the other person. 
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It is unfair for a real live human to be this beautiful. We talking Hunjin-level unfair. WTF Vietnam? Why you gotta broadside us like this? 
It’s Airing But ...
Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi) - saving to binge if the end is solid.
Venus in the Sky (Sat YouTube) pilot/tester?) 0 of 10 - not entirely sure what’s up with this one distribution-wise, but the pilot was classic university-set pulp. I hope it happens because the leads are cute with good chemsitry and I thought it was fun. However, this pilot holds together as its own little short too.
Stormy Honeymoon (Vietnam)
My Story (Pinoy Sat YouTube) ep 4 of 10 - I bounced.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Star Struck (Korea iQIYI) ostensibly starts Thursday but icky is being janky about it, so we shall see - A boy has had a crush on his childhood friend for a long time. Stars Zuho (Kpop SF9 - noted good egg) opposite rookie actor Kim In Sung (the one with the crush).
Happy Merry Ending and Boss & Babe both end. Be My Favorite will be taking the GMMTV Fridgay time slot. 
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Coming in May 2023:
5/26 Be My Favorite prev title: You Are My Favorite (Thai YouTube) Adapted JittiRain y-novel (2gether, FUTS, ToL, Vice Versa) one of those “rewrite the past to change the future.” Stars Krist (SOTUS) + Fluke Gawin (DBK, Not Me). Expect this to be v low heat, full of LIES and manipulation. 
5/27 The Luminous Solution (Thai ????) 10 eps - Thana is having trouble at work and in his relationship. He can't seem to catch a break. So he makes a wish to change everything. The wish has a price.
5/27 Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan) - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS (but that has never stopped Japan before) and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I ?????  (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)
* At least I never have to tell Japan to stop singing. Small mercies. 
2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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House of Cards. I like this character. I don’t have any idea who he is or why he’s so militant of an ally but I still like him. 
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I LOVE HIM SO MUCH JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. (Vice Versa’s Our Skyy eps) 
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Preach, sweetheart.
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Yes, please and thank you. (Both Boss & Babe) 
(last week)
Current Kpop earworm? ONEUS - ERASE ME, I like the concept (suits! corset! kinky!) and it’s catchy enough
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Text
Little Favors
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Title: Little Favors
Word Count: I lost count
Warnings: !EXTREME FLUFF AHEAD! Y'all don't even get it. So much fluff. The only warning I can come up with is a use of the slut word and a couple innuendos because Kol. Oh, also, canon is whatever I want it to be.
Summary: You know what? Adventures in Babysitting. That's all you need to know. Let's see if you guys can spot all the places where the reader almost becomes aware of the supernatural! || Kol Mikaelson x reader || Here lies my Masterlist ||
A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone so here's this surprise fic in celebration of this account reaching 300 followers. Thanks to everyone who's supported me!
✨STORY BEGINS BELOW✨
"Hey, do you wanna come over for a bit?"
You sent the text and bit your lip, hoping against hope that he'd say yes. Seconds later, your phone chirped with a reply. 
"Do you even have to ask?"
A relieved smile spread across your lips.
"Yeah, still do. Thanks tho."
"See you soon, love."
You raised a brow at that.
"How soon exactly?"
His response was almost instant.
"Very."
Your head snapped up as the doorbell rang through your house. How was he always doing that? If you didn't know better, you'd think your friend was the Flash or something. Peeling yourself off the couch, you wandered over to the front door and threw it open. There, standing on your front porch, putting away his earbuds was the most handsome boy alive - or at least within the tiny town of Mystic Falls. You leaned your head on the door and lifted a brow.
"So what's your excuse this time?" You asked, suppressing a smirk. Kol just chuckled, dragging a hand through his slightly damp hair. Good heavens, he was hot when he did that. The sight set off a round of butterflies in your stomach. 
Kol Mikaelson had moved into town with his family about two months earlier. He was a senior at your high school, along with his younger sister, Rebekah. They were Irish twins or something - you didn't quite know the specifics. Of course, in a town as tiny as yours, Kol and his family quickly became the talk of the town and despite not being one for drama, even you could admit that there was plenty to talk about. The family was English, and wealthy and all of them were outrageously attractive. Honestly, your first thought about them had been something along the lines of: "What kind of wacky Twilight crap is this?" It was so weird and, as ashamed as you were to admit it, you had avoided the new kids at first.
Such a course of action had been extremely difficult, primarily because you shared four classes with Kol and he'd been seated next to you in all of them. What are the odds, right? But, wait, it gets worse! Every day, when you say down, Kol would greet you with a smile and attempt to start a conversation. With dark hair, amber eyes, and a square jaw - not to mention that crooked smirk - the guy was so gorgeous, you didn't even know what to do. Intimidated by his status, his good looks, and his excellent sense of humor, you just tried your best to pretend he didn't exist.
Well, it hadn't taken him long to get fed up with that act. So one day you'd walked in to see a note sitting on your desk. It was addressed to you and written in perfect cursive, because of course his handwriting had to be impeccable too. The note read: "Dearest Y/N, I'm sorry I exist. If there's anything else I've done to offend you, then you have my sincerest apologies. Now, will you please stop acting like you've seen me commit murder? I'd really appreciate it. Your neighbor, Kol." Unable to contain your laughter, you'd started a timid conversation with Kol and the two of you had hit it off pretty quickly after that.
You'd learned that Kol and his sister were simply two really nice kids just doing their best to fit in at a new school, nothing more than that. As you got to know him a little better, it surprised you that Kol desired you to be his friend. He was intelligent, talented, and beyond attractive - one of those instant popular kid types - he could have been friends with anyone, yet he chose you. No one ever chose you. Ever. You had spent your high school carrier being invisible, and you were good at it! So when the most attractive guy in the twelfth grade started hanging out with you, people started paying attention and rumors got rolling pretty quickly.
Were you dating Kol Mikaelson? That was the question everyone at school was trying to answer. To be perfectly honest, you had no idea. He'd asked you to hang out a few times at different places around town, but he'd never labeled it as an actual date. And sure, he flirted with you quite a bit but that boy flirted with just about everything with a heartbeat! As far as you were aware, he only liked you as a friend which was exactly why you were trying hard to hide your nerves right now.
"I know it's crazy, but I swear I was right around the corner when you texted," He said.
You narrowed your eyes. "Doing what, exactly?"
"Just walking." He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "Trying to clear my head."
"Really?" You scoffed. "In the snow?"
He rolled his eyes. "It's barely snowing, but yes."
You hummed. "Right…"
"It's the truth, love," Kol said. He rubbed his eyes.
"Uh, huh."
"I'm being completely honest!"
"You better be," You said, grinning. "Otherwise, the only sane conclusion I can come up with is that you're stalking me."
"As gorgeous as you are darling, that's not the case." Kol snickered and stepped forward, leaning his weight against the door frame. He crossed his arms, looking down at you with those droopy, amber puppy-dog eyes that you'd been in love with for as long as you'd known him.
You swallowed thickly. That position perfectly accentuated his lithe body, for a high schooler, the guy was insanely well built. Ugh! And those eyes! Those eyes made you want to throw yourself at him or disappear and you didn't know which one.
"Well, good. 'Cuz that would be creepy," You replied a little quietly. Kol hummed and nodded.
"So…" He trailed off and leaned closer almost conspiratorially. "Do I get to ask why you invited me over to your house on a Friday night?"
You tugged on a loose strand of hair, twisting it around your finger. "I mean, you are kinda the only friend I've got…" The only other person you'd consider a friend was Matt Donovan and the two of you really weren't close.
"I know." He smirked. Oh, he really wasn't making this easy on you.
"So I thought I might ask for your help?"
Kol wet his lips and tilted his head innocently. Geez, he was so much taller than you. "With what, exactly?" He asked.
You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. "W-well my parents aren't home and-"
His brows shot up and he blinked. "I don't believe this…" A slow impish grin spread across Kol's face and he leaned closer, eyes raking your body as he loomed over you. "Y/N, are you propositioning me?"
If you had been drinking water, you would have done a spit take. You felt like your whole body was blushing and you might as well have looked at Medusa for how still your limbs became. "N-no! Uh… I-I-I… um…" What were you even supposed to say to that? Why did he have to be so attractive?! It really wasn't fair!
"Are you sure?" He asked, stepping that much closer. "Because I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." You thought you saw Kol glance down at your lips, but you must have been imagining things. 
You twisted the fabric of your shirt between your fingers, struggling to find something intelligent to say. "That-that's not… I mean, that's not what I-" You sighed. "This would be a lot easier to explain if you came inside." You opened the door wide so he could come in, but he hesitated.
Kol raised a brow, almost surprised. "You want me to come in?" 
"Yeah," You mumbled. "Is that a problem?"
"Not at all." He shoved himself off the door frame and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. You stepped back a good four feet, trying to dispel some of the tension. He glanced over his shoulder, gesturing at the coat rack behind him. "Mind if I-"
"Yeah, sure."
He shot you a little smile and stripped his jacket off before hanging it on the coat rack. He must have noticed your bare feet because he took off his shoes too, kicking them next to the door. Then he turned back to you and cocked his head. 
"So, your parents aren't home…" He started.
"Nope." You shook your head. You couldn't seem to stop blushing. What was your problem?
Kol nodded, rubbing his lower lip with his thumb. "It's just you and me then?" He asked, taking a step closer to you again. His eyes were slightly hooded and there was something in them that you'd never seen before. It was… admiring, bordering on hungry. 
You shot him a nervous smile. "Well… not exactly…"
His brows drew together and he lifted his head a little. "What do you mean? Who else is here?" His voice was calm enough but he seemed almost suspicious. You didn't have time to wonder why.
"Meow, Meow!" 
The high-pitched whine came from just behind you and his eyes flew wide. You smiled sheepishly and slid one step to the side. The boy dropped his gaze down to your feet. Sitting on the floor, poised exactly like a little kitten, was your baby sister. The two stared at each other for a moment before Kol threw his head back and laughed. It was a vibrant, sincere sound, full of light-hearted mirth. He doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees. Clearly, he found this situation rather humorous. 
"I'm sorry…" You hissed, biting your lip.
Kol waved a hand. "Don't be! It's completely fine." He tilted his head and knelt to be closer to the little girl's height. "Hey there, little one! How are you?"
"Meow! Meow!" Your baby sister responded. 
You nodded and shrugged. "This is my baby sister. Her name's Nora and she's a two and a half year old menace to society."
Kol snorted. "I don't know about that, darling. She looks pretty harmless to me." He waved at the little girl and she recoiled, hiding behind your leg.
"Meow, meow! Meow, meow!" She said, pretending to tremble. This was her newest little game. 
You sighed. "She's also a cat."
"Ah! I see," The boy hummed, keeping his eyes fixed on the little girl. He must have known she wanted the attention. "Is your big sister right? Are you a kitten?"
Nora nodded. "Meow, meow!"
"Oh, alright then. So, if you're a little kitten, then you'll probably want to sniff my hand so we can become best friends. Isn't that right?" He held his hand out as one does for a cat or dog. You raised a brow as you watched your baby sister crawl over to him. She sat up when she reached his hand and grabbed it, bumping her nose against his knuckle. Then she flipped it over and rubbed his palm against her cheek. He chuckled. "Hello, Nora."
"Purrr. Purrr." She said.
Kol grinned. "Awww! You're a cute little kitty-cat! Aren't you?" He scratched her chin a little bit before scooping her up so he could stand. 
"Careful," You warned. "She'll lick you too."
The instant you spoke, Nora stuck her little tongue out and licked his cheek. He blinked and you pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning. Much to your surprise, Kol didn't so much as frown. He just laughed, shrugging.
"Still better than, Henrik!" He concluded, wiping his face with the edge of his sleeve. You regarded him questioningly and he nodded, explaining. "Henrik was my youngest sibling. When he was this young, he was convinced he was a wolf cub. He would bite your legs, he would bite your fingers, and he would bite your face - it stopped being cute rather quickly."
You snickered, relaxing a bit. "Is Henrik much younger than you?" You wondered.
Kol's face fell and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no, actually… Henrik, um… He-he passed away some time ago," He said.
"Oh." You whispered, fixing your eyes on your feet. You were such an idiot! "I-I'm really sorry, Kol. That was a stupid thing to ask."
He shook his head. "No, it wasn't. I wouldn't have raised the topic if I couldn't handle the questions it was bound to insight."
Wow... He was really well spoken… His voice sounded like a snowfall: gentle, playful, and pure.
You blinked. "O-oh, okay. Um, well I'm sorry I asked you over here then."
The boy sent you a quizzical look. "Why?"
"I mean, it's not for fun," You pointed out, scuffing your toe against the floor. "My parents left me in charge but this time I just need a little bit of help entertaining and wrangling them…"
Kol tilted his head as Nora cuddled up against his shoulder. "Them?" He asked. Your sheepish smile doubled in intensity and you let go of a nervous chuckle. 
"Y/N! WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THE PIZZA GUY?!" A shrill voice pierced the air from one of the upstairs rooms. You flinched and Kol's face filled with understanding.
"Ah…" He nodded. "So, there's two of them…"
"Unfortunately…" You sighed, then took a deep breath. "I'M NOT FLIRTING AND HE'S NOT THE PIZZA GUY! NOW, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" The boy in front of you flinched and you sent him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Kol. She's eleven and I swear this is the only way to communicate with her."
"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, Y/N!" Your sister screamed down.
Kol glanced up there and huffed a laugh.
You sighed again. "I am so, so sorry."
"No, no, darling, it's fine. Seriously, stop apologizing!" He said. "You just shocked me is all. I guess I figured that screaming at one another was only the default language in dysfunctional families like mine."
The relief that flooded your body was palpable. "Really?"
"Of course," He assured you. "In fact, watch this." He shifted a hand to cover Nora's ear - the one that wasn't tucked into his shoulder - and looked up. "ACTUALLY, SHE IS THE BOSS OF YOU, UNTIL YOUR PARENTS GET HOME! SUCKS TO BE YOU, LOVE!  SO WHY DON'T YOU QUIT WAILING LIKE A BANSHEE AND COME SAY HI!" He finished shouting and shot you a wink.
You smirked, crossing your arms. "That was impressive." 
"Thank you."
A moment later a petite H/C girl came bounding down the stairs. She swung her weight around the banister and stopped right in front of Kol, staring up at him with scrutiny. She put her hands on her hips and spun to face you.
"Is this the boyfriend you wish you had?" She demanded.
You slid your tongue over your teeth, reminding yourself of all the reasons you shouldn't deck a child. "Ainsley," You addressed with a razor-sharp smile. "This is my friend Kol. He's gonna help me take care of you and Nora tonight."
Ainsley shot him a dirty look and turned to you. "I don't need another babysitter, I've already got you."
"Well that's a shame, because I'm not leaving for the whole night," Kol said, smirking. "And I'm afraid you got it wrong, sweetheart." He gestured to you. "See, she's the girlfriend I wish I had."
You flushed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear - it was a nervous tick. Ainsley spun back to face him.
"You talk funny," She declared. 
"Ég get talað fyndnara," He told her with a smug smile. The foreign syllables rolled off his tongue effortlessly - almost like he'd been born speaking them. What language was that? The rough sound of it made your stomach attempt gymnastics.
Whatever it was, it made Ainsley giggle. "You're weird!" She said.
"Why thank you, love." He held onto Nora and dipped into a flourishing bow for her and she laughed again, clapping.
"Wanna come see my dinosaurs?" She asked him, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "They're in my room!"
The enthusiastic gasp he made for her was very convincing as he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh, wow. I would love to come see your dinosaurs, Ainsley. But is it okay if I talk to your sister for just a second first?"
"Okay." She shrugged. "I'll go get 'em ready!" 
"Alright! You go do that and I'll be right up," He said. Ainsley squealed with glee and rushed back upstairs again. You watched her go for a moment before turning back to Kol.
"That was actually amazing," You marveled, staring at him with wide eyes.
He shrugged. "That was nothing, I-"
"No, no. You don't understand," You cut him off. "Ainsley hates everyone."
"Everyone?"
"Everyone!" You stressed. "She's at that stage where she knows everything about everything all the time so when she doesn't know someone she hates them and if they're in on her act, she hates them. In other words-"
"She hates everyone," He finished, nodding. "Bekah did the same thing, except she never grew out of it."
"I pity you."
"You should." Kol flashed you a grin and adjusted Nora in his arms. She made that little purr noise of hers and nuzzled him. He shrugged. "What can I say? The ladies love me."
You huffed a laugh and shook your head, focusing on the floor. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to," You said quietly.
The boy frowned. "What are you talking about, darling?"
"Well, I just-" You'd definitely made this seem like something it wasn't. Would he be mad? "I-I mean, you're not like… disappointed, are you?"
"Disappointed?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Darling, I get to avoid my family and spend time with a beautiful girl. Why on earth would I be disappointed?"
Because for a second there you acted like you wanted me…
You pushed that thought away and shrugged, rubbing your arm. "I don't know… I-I thought-
"Woah, woah, sorry to cut you off, love. But what happened to your hand?" He demanded. You hardly blinked and Kol had somehow crossed the room. He was standing right in front of you, only inches away. You jumped as he reached to take your hand. "Easy! Easy now! I just want to look at it," He said. You bit your lip as Kol gently took your hand.
He trailed his fingertips over the reddened, burned skin, just barely skimming over the marks. Pain flared up in each one despite his best efforts and you hissed, snatching your hand away. 
"Darling, what happened?" He pressed, a little more urgently. "Did someone do this to you?" Something flashed in his eyes, something more than the usual mirth or amusement he offered you. It was intense yet soft.
"No, I, uh… I burned myself making muffins," You admitted. "It's fine. I'll be fine."
"This is why you wanted my help, isn't it?" He asked, the way he regarded you made you pretty sure he doubted your tough facade. "Because it hurts more than you let on?"
You sighed. "I didn't treat it right originally and now it's coming back to haunt me," You confirmed.
"I see." Kol raised your injured hand to his lips and pressed a feather-light kiss to one of the few unburned areas. "Tell you what, I'll help you with your sisters - entertain them, and get them to bed - then I'll help you dress and wrap that properly, alright?" He offered.
You shook your head, trying to laugh his kindness off. "You don't have to do that."
"I know," He responded. "But I'm going to anyway." Then he leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead, shooting you a smug and very knowing smirk before turning and climbing the stairs after Ainsley. "Alright! Let's see those dinosaurs!"
You followed him up and pointed the way to Ainsley's room. She sat there on the floor surrounded by dozens of tiny dinosaur figurines no bigger than an inch. Kol knelt next to her, carefully avoiding crushing any of them. 
"Wow, these are exquisite, darling," He said, picking one up to examine it. "The details are stunning. Where did you get them?"
Ainsley beamed. "I made them!"
Kol shook his head. "Nah."
The girl frowned. "I made them out of clay," She insisted. 
"No, you didn't."
"I did so!"
"You did not! There's no way you made these, they're just too fantastic," He teased, shooting you a wink while your sister wasn't looking. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at his antics. 
"I'm not lying!" Your sister rounded on you. "Y/N, tell Kol I'm not lying!" She demanded.
He turned to you expectantly and you shrugged. "She's not lying."
Kol's surprise was extremely convincing, even to you. "I can't believe this! Ainsley, darling, your work is fantastic!"
The little girl smirked and glanced back at you, waggling her brows as if she'd won some sort of competition. You took a deep breath, running your tongue over your teeth.
"Ainsley, are you gonna tell him all their names?" You prompted. You didn't miss the grimace that flashed across Kol's face at your words. There were so many little dinosaurs, that naming all of them would take a while. 
"Not all of 'em." Ainsley shook her head. "Just my faves."
"You do that," You encouraged with mock enthusiasm. Kol shot you a look that reminded you a bit of a captive being made to walk the plank and you just smirked.
The girl picked up each one to introduce them individually. "This one's Diplodocus, this one's Deinonychus, this one's Ankylosaurus, this one's Baryonyx, this one's Compsognathus, this one's Archaeopteryx, this one's Dilophosaurus, this one's Coelophysis, and this one's a T-Rex!" She announced with pride.
"Ah, I see." Kol took that last figurine from her, inspecting it. "Now, I can't say that I'm familiar with most of those names you listed, but I do know this one. In fact, I went to go see the first skeleton of one ever found in a museum a while back!"
"Wow!" Ainsley gasped. "How big was it?"
"Colossal!" He exclaimed. "I think one could eat you in one bite. Om nom nom!" He reached up and chased Ainsley with the figurine she'd given him.
"Ah no! I don't wanna be eaten!"
"Too bad, love. The T-Rex has other plans."
"Oh." She dropped to the ground and started twitching. "Bleh! I'm dead."
Kol laughed and glanced back at you, grinning wide. "So, now that this one's dead, Y/N, when do I get to see your bedroom?" His tone was perfectly innocent but the expression he wore was anything but. His eyes skimmed over your figure and you realized you were wearing your slightly revealing pajama shorts. You knew you were blushing and he seemed excessively pleased with himself as you struggled to find something to say.
"Hey! I'm not really dead," Ainsley complained. "I was just pretending!"
Kol winked at you and turned back with an incredulous expression. "Really? Oh wow, that was extremely convincing. You should become an actor."
"Maybe I will!" Ainsley grinned, picking herself up off the floor. "Oh, and you can keep that by the way."
"I can keep this?" He affirmed, holding the T-Rex figure. Ainsley nodded. "Thank you! What an honor, lovely. I will cherish this gift for all my days." He stood and ruffled the little girl's hair in a casual gesture, but Ainsley didn't seem to like it very much. She recoiled from his touch like she'd been burned, jumping back and slapping his hand away with a yelp. She drew away from him, wrapping her arms around herself.
"Y-you're cold," She hissed, regarding him with a suddenly distrustful glare. 
Kol was quick to back off. His brows drew together and he raised his hands non-threateningly. Confusion swam in his deep brown eyes. "Am I?" He wondered. He held his hand out to you.
You didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. His hands were soft and you supposed they were a little cool, but not cold. Not odd. A thin scar bisected his palm diagonally and you wondered where he'd gotten it. You shook your head. "Ainsley, what's wrong?"
"He's cold!" She insisted. "Don't you feel it?"
You shrugged. "He feels fine to me and Nora seems pretty chill." The toddler was still sitting cozy in Kol's arms, meowing happily. "Maybe you're coming down with something?" You suggested. 
She just crossed her arms and huffed, glaring at Kol. You glanced at him and he shrugged, scratching his neck. The atmosphere in that room was incredibly awkward for a solid minute before you cleared your throat. 
"Who wants to play a game?" You asked, desperate to clear the tension. One could have cut it with a knife. 
Kol raised his hand. "I'm up for it! Ainsley?"
She scowled. "Do I have to?"
You sent her another sharp, forceful smile. "Heck yeah, you do, sunshine."
The little girl lifted a brow in challenge, putting her hands on her hips. "What's in it for me?" She demanded.
"Ah yes, the negotiator," Kol snickered. You sent him a scathing look and he quickly tried to cover his laughter with a cough.
"We can watch a movie after," You decided, turning your attention back to your sister. She hummed and pretended to inspect her fingernails - you were pretty sure she'd seen that on TV somewhere. Annoying as she was, that little brat was going places. "I'll let you pick?" You offered.
She flicked her eyes up to yours. "Emperor's New Groove?"
"Whatever you want," You sighed, rubbing your temple with your good hand. Kol was still trying ridiculously hard not to laugh.
"What about your hand, Y/N?" Ainsley asked, grinning like a satisfied Cheshire cat. "How will you play with us?"
You glanced down at the flaming red and pink marks that crisscrossed your fingers and palm, stretching up to your wrist. They stung and burned on their own, moving just made them worse. You frowned. "I guess I'll just have to watch you guys play."
"Oh, that's too bad." She didn't mean that one bit and you had to lean back against the door frame to keep yourself from throttling her. Ainsley shot you one last devilish smirk before rounding on Kol. "Do you know how to play Gin?"
"As a matter of fact, I do," He said, smiling amusedly. "Is that what you'd like to play?"
She nodded vigorously and swiped a deck of cards off her bedside table. "I'm gonna kick your butt!" She giggled.
"Is that so?" He hummed, shooting you a grin. You sent him a thankful one in return.
Nora sat up against his shoulder. "What about me? I wanna play!" She whined.
"But if course!" Kol exclaimed. "You're going to be on my team and help me beat your sister." 
Nora gasped and nodded. "Meow! Meow!" She chirped. Kol chuckled and kissed her forehead lightly. 
"There's a sweet little kitten."
"Why don't we go downstairs so you guys can play at the table?" You offered before they got anything started.
"That sounds like an excellent idea," He agreed. You shoved off the door frame and started for the stairs, glancing back to see Kol reach for your sister's hand. "Come on, Ainsley. I won't bite." She hesitantly took it and you turned back before he could see the smile that spread across your face.
Thirty minutes and eight rounds of Gin later and Kol seemed to be regretting his decision to play with your little sister.
"How?!" He demanded after her eighth consecutive win. "How is this possible? How are you rigging the deck when I'm the one shuffling?"
"Told you I was gonna kick your butt," Ainsley said smugly, leaning back in her chair.
"This shouldn't be statistically possible," He muttered. In his lap, Nora stood up and "pawed" at his chest, meowing in pity.
"Statistic probability does not apply when Ainsley desires to win a card game," You supplied, ruffling your sister's hair as you stood.
"It's uncanny," He agreed, nodding. You weren't aware of Kol's eyes lingering on you as you stretched, reaching your arms over your head. Wandering over to the pantry, you opted to search for a snack the four of you could enjoy during the movie.
"Say, Ainsley darling, have you ever played Poker?" Kol asked as soon as your back was turned.
"Kol!" You warned.
"Sorry, darling!" He called back. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Wanna learn?"
You snorted and spun around on your heel. "Kol Mikaelson, you are not going to teach my little sister to play Poker!" You lectured, trying your best to contain your laughter.
"She'd be a bloody prodigy, love!" He defended. He too was struggling to keep a straight face.
"Uh, huh. A prodigy with a gambling addiction."
"A gambling addiction? With me as her mentor? Inconceivable."
"The image of you mentoring anyone terrifies me to my very core," You deadpanned. "Ainsley, go put something on and if Kol ever tries to teach you anything, run for the hills."
"Got it," She replied, hopping out of her seat and running off towards the living room.
Kol leaned against the counter, folding his arms as he watched you search for some junk food. You selected ice cream - holding the frozen tub felt glorious on your burns. His eyes never left you for a second and the faint smile he wore never faltered. You stood on your toes to reach for some bowls off the top shelf and felt your cheeks burn under his undivided attention. Setting the bowls on the counter, you took a breath in an attempt to settle the butterflies that were using your stomach as a bloody airport. If you turned to face him, you knew you'd lose your ability to speak, so you feigned nonchalance.
"You're staring," You pointed out in hardly more than a whisper. 
Kol hummed. "Am I?" 
"You are." You nodded, trying to keep your pitch from rising. "What is it back there that's got you so interested?"
You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Definitely not your legs."
His comment lit your cheeks on fire and you buried your face in your hands. Why did he have to be such a cheeky bastard?! 
You turned back to face him, biting your lip and crossing your arms over your chest. "You just can't stop yourself from making those sorts of comments, can you?" 
Kol grinned. "I don't exactly try," He said.
"Of course, you don't." You sighed, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "And I assume you just shamelessly flirt with all your friends."
He shrugged. "Pretty much."
"Good policy." 
Especially if your intention is to keep this socially awkward bundle of anxiety guessing every second of the day…
You smiled thinly and turned back to start scooping ice cream into the bowls. You gripped the ice cream scoop in your good hand and tried to transfer some of the surgery goodness but only succeeded in pushing the tub around on the counter. The burns on your left hand flared with pain as you absentmindedly attempted to use it and you whimpered, biting your lip to keep from crying. A frustrated growl escaped you as you glared at the frozen treat. 
Kol's hand wrapped around yours, gently lifting the scoop from your grasp. "Let me help you out, love," He coaxed. His voice was as soft as snow - the kind you make angels in. 
You sighed. "I can scoop ice cream, Kol. I'm not a complete invalid," You insisted.
"I know," Kol hummed. He swept your hair over your shoulder and ran a hand down your arm. His touch felt like lightning across your skin. "But you are in a lot of pain."
You glanced at the burns covering your hand. They stung and seared constantly. "Yeah…"
"Then move over and let me help you," He pressed, leaning on the counter next to you. He stared you down and you tried your best to stay strong but those soft amber eyes drilled into yours and you lost.
"Fine!" You relented, backing off. He smirked and took over. 
"So how's the hand holding up?" Kol asked. He paused and cleared his throat. "Still the same or getting-" He cut himself off with another cough. "- getting worse?"
Your brows pulled together and you frowned. "Pretty much the same," You answered. He nodded, coughing into his sleeve a few more times. You blinked, starting to worry. "You good?" Kol sent you a thumbs up but kept on coughing. You reached up to touch his shoulder and he flinched away from you. "Kol?" You moved around to face him but he doubled over, coughing more frantically. You couldn't see his face. Was he in pain? What were you supposed to do? 
"I-I'm fine." He waved you off, straightening back up after a moment. His voice was strained and he looked extremely uncomfortable. "I'm alright."
"You don't look fine," You said.
"I-I just…" He trailed off.
"Kol?" He didn't respond.
For a moment, he just stood there, watching you. Kol tilted his head to the side slowly. His brows were furrowed but his eyes were far away and there was something in them. You didn't know exactly what it was, but it made your skin crawl. You didn't like it. He swallowed thickly, wetting his lips. His hands were wrapped around the counter's edge and his knuckles were white. Was he having a seizure or something? What was his problem? He took a shuffling step backward, blinking rapidly. 
"KOL!" You snapped your fingers in front of his face and he jumped.
"Yeah? What-what is it?" He shook his head as if trying to clear something away.
You stared at him with wide eyes. "Do I need to call 911?" You demanded, voice rising. 
"No." He shook his head. "No, it's just a-a dry throat… I'm fine. I-I can handle it."
Why did he sound like he was trying to convince himself?
You raised a brow. "You sure? 'Cuz I did not pass my CPR class…"
Kol huffed a laugh, smiling wryly though you didn't get the joke. "Yeah, I'm fine. Can we just… Can we open a window or something?"
"Uh, huh… sure." You nodded slowly, giving him a last once over to be safe. You edged over to the window above the kitchen sink and shoved it open. The air outside was freezing from the snowstorm but you could hear Kol's sigh of relief. He muttered something under his breath.
"Heilagt helvíti, ég er of svangur í þetta…"
It was that language again, the same one he'd spoken earlier. You weren't sure how you knew but you were positive of it. The way it rolled off his tongue was too natural to be something learned. It had to be a native language… But wasn't he from England?
You wandered back over to him again, more than a little worried. "You're absolutely positive you're okay?" You asked, placing a gentle hand on his arm.
He nodded and maybe you were reading too much into it but his smile seemed oddly tight, almost forced. "Of course, I am."
You bit your lip, rocking back and forth on your heels for a moment. "Do you want something to drink?" You offered.
His eyes flicked towards you for a split second. He clenched his jaw, nodding. "That would be nice. Thank you." He cleared his throat again, rubbing at his eyes.
You drummed your fingers on the countertop before grabbing a cup from the cabinet and moving to the fridge. You opened it up and glanced over the contents. "So, we got milk, orange juice, grape juice that tastes like wine, grape juice that tastes like grape juice, apple juice that Nora may or may not have attempted to chug out out the bottle, or - the good ole' family favorite - water," You listed. "What do you wanna have?"
You weren't prepared for his response. It was so quiet - hardly a whisper - and you were certain you weren't meant to hear it.
"You."
Your whole body tensed and you blushed like mad. 
"W-what was that?" You called over your shoulder. Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around.
"I said milk is fine," He spoke up a little louder.
He lies…
Or maybe you were just going insane.
You ran your tongue over your teeth, trying in vain to calm your rapid heart rate. "Okay." You pulled the gallon of milk out of the fridge and kicked the door shut with your foot. 
"I'll put this away," Kol said once he was done with the ice cream. 
"Thanks." Yeah, your heart rate wasn't slowing down any time soon.
"Not a problem, darling." He brushed past you to tuck the ice cream away.
Once you finished pouring the milk, you turned to pass it to him. "Here's some-" The words got caught in your throat. He was standing a lot closer than you'd expected, watching you with a smirk that set your cheeks on fire. You snapped your mouth shut and just shoved the glass towards him.
"Thank you, darling." Kol took it from you, which was a relief because your hands were trembling so viciously you might have dropped it at any second. He leaned back against the counter, looking as perfect as ever and you dropped your eyes to your feet. "Are you alright, love?"
You shrugged. "Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"
"You seem rather agitated tonight - stressed," He observed.
"Well, I did burn my hand."
Kol frowned. "No, I don't think that's it."
You swallowed, your throat was suddenly as dry as a desert. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the hottest boy in a one-hundred-mile radius is standing in my kitchen drinking milk. You thought. Perhaps it would be best to tell the truth, he always seemed to know when you were lying.
"I mean, it's just that you're the best friend I've had since kindergarten," You blurted out. 
Kol raised a brow. "I am?"
You nodded. "You are. A-and I'm kinda freaking out, because we don't even know each other crazy super well and yet, here you are, at my house, helping me take care of my borderline insane sisters." You let go of a breathy laugh, though it sounded rather forced. "I know you'd probably rather be, like, anyplace else but I didn't have anybody else to call and I just want you to know how grateful I am that you came."
You hadn't realized before that exact moment that you'd never really seen Kol smile. You'd thought you'd seen it, but those glimpses had never been the real thing. When Kol smiled - really smiled - it took your breath away. It was bright and warm, the kind of smile that makes everyone else smile too.
"You don't have to thank me," He claimed with a slight shake of his head. "But I do think I know how you can repay me…"
You crossed your arms over your chest. "And how is that?"
He shrugged. "Say it again."
"Say what again?"
"That I'm your best friend."
"Really?"
He nodded enthusiastically. "I've never been anybody's best friend before."
You rolled your eyes. "I don't believe that for a second. You must have had loads of friends before you moved here."
"Not really, actually. I annoy people."
"Well, you don't annoy me. Most times."
"So that makes me your best friend?" He pressed.
You opened your mouth to say the words he so desperately wanted to hear but someone cut you off.
"WHAT'S TAKING YOU GUYS SO LONG?" Ainsley shouted from the living room.
Kol's response was immediate - premeditated even - as if he'd been waiting for her to say those words. "LEAVE US ALONE! WE'RE MAKING OUT!" He yelled back, grinning like a maniac when Ainsley started gagging obnoxiously.
You smacked your forehead and sighed. "You're gonna get me in so much trouble… and we didn't even do anything!"
"What are friends for?" He shrugged. 
"Best friends," You corrected.
"Right." He smirked. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he guided you towards the living room. You stiffened at his touch. Oy vey, you were so obvious, but you couldn't help it! Kol leaned down to your ear as you reached the living room. "Relax, darling. It's just me."
That was the problem.
"Ooh! Ice cream!" Ainsley cheered. Nora, who had been sitting on the floor, looked up from pretending to lick her arm… at least you hoped she was pretending. Both girls hopped up to take the treat.
Kol held the bowls out of their reach. "Ah! What do we say?" He asked.
"Please?" Ainsley begged with her best doe-eyes.
"Very good, darling." He passed her the ice cream. "Nora?"
The little girl reached up. "Gimmie!" She demanded.
Kol glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and you just shrugged. "I don't know where she learned that, but it wasn't me!"
He looked back down at the toddler. "I'm sort of tempted to give it to her, because that's a very assertive attitude."
"And that's bad parenting."
"He's not my dad!" Nora said. "Now gimmie!"
"You have to say please, kitten," Kol insisted.
"Gimmie it please!"
"There it is," He said.
"Now!" She commanded.
"Alright, alright!" He lowered the bowl into her greedy little hands and she squealed in delight. His gaze shifted from the toddler to you and back again. "That one's going places," He announced.
You rolled your eyes. "Tell me about it." You sat down on the couch as Ainsley started the movie and Kol moved to sit beside you. Stretching his arms and legs as he settled in, his arm just so happened to wrap around your shoulders. You smirked.
"Smooth."
"I know." He winked.
About halfway through the movie, the doorbell rang. You had no clue who it could have been as your parents weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow. Both you and Kol got up to answer it and you waved a hand.
"It's okay, I've got it," You said.
"Well I'm coming with you." You shot him a questioning look. He shrugged easily. "There are some serious creeps out there, darling. I just want you to be safe."
“Takes one to know one,” You teased, walking backward towards the door.
“Exactly,” He replied. Then his expression sobered just a little bit under the dim light of your foyer. Kol’s humor was usually arrogant or self-deprecating in one way or another but that expression told you that there was something underneath that. That boy was by no means insecure, but ego and pride aren't the same as self-esteem. His honest opinion of himself wasn’t a positive one. You didn’t like seeing that.
“I don’t know how you do it.” You rolled your eyes, chuckling. Your tone was easy because you’d never been too great with people. You always said the wrong thing when you tried to be genuine, so you favored humor instead. "How can you manage to be so egotistical while also being self-loathing, and yet secretly kind all at the same time? You’re like some wacky combination of Emperor Kuzco and Shrek."
“Oh is that what you think?” He said, shoving your shoulder playfully. Kol scrunched up his face. "I was a perfectly nice guy and they ruined my life for no reason!" He quoted in a perfect imitation of Kuzco's American accent from the movie. That sound made you uncomfortable for some odd reason.
You squirmed a little. “Okay, first that was excellent. Second, never do that again please."
“Aww! Thank you, Y/N/N. It’s always good to be appreciated,” He continued in that American accent. 
“Ewww. Staaaahhhp!” You complained with a feigned gag.
“Stop what?” He poked you in the ribs.
You jumped out of his reach, smacking his hand away. "That!"
"I have no clue what you're talking about." He cheekily grinned. Ugh! It was so cute… but the accent was still terrifying.
"That voice!"
"What? Does my impression of a stupid American bother you?" It was even more unsettling when he was insulting Americans while talking like one. He skipped ahead of you, blocking your way to the door and you laughed.
"Yes! It's gross, you're not meant to be American."
"Would you prefer Français?" He asked, switching accents. "May I offer you a baguette? Perhaps a croissant?"
You snorted. "That's worse, and culturally insensitive!" You pointed out.
"Italiano?" He waggled his eyebrows, smirking as he swapped accents again. "Rome is an impressive city."
"Ugh! No!" You cringed. The doorbell rang a second time followed by a few incessant knocks. "I know! I'm coming, keep your pants on!" You called at the door. It was only a few feet away, but Kol was blocking you.
"Wha' 'bout Sco'ish?" The boy swapped again. "Sco'ish is a'plen'y o' fun. When a true bloody Scott gets a'talkin', ya' can't even tell what them's a sayin'. I mean, is moose loose in the hoose or are ya' wantin' to go'in grabb'a bagg'a chips, pal?"
You blinked, completely clueless as to what he'd just said. "What?" You cackled, shaking your head. He spoke so rapidly, and none of his words even sounded like words. "How are you doing that?"
Kol shrugged. "Eh, I've traveled. Picking up accents is a… hobby of sorts,” He said, reverting back to his natural silk-like speech.
You narrowed your eyes, quirking a brow. "Kol?"
He hummed, tilting his head innocently. "Yes?"
"Are you stalling?"
"Nah...'Course not." His smile thinned almost invisibly. 
"Cool. Now, will you let me get to the door please?" You asked, crossing your arms.
Kol swept his tongue over his lower lip, watching you for just a moment. His expression was something soft with a twinge of fear - or at least you thought that’s what you saw, He replaced it with a smirk before you had a chance to remember it. “As you wish,” He muttered, finally moving out of your way.
“Thanks,” You said as you moved past him. You couldn't see why he was trying to stall you. Maybe this was a byproduct of having lived in such big cities as he had. Crime rates were high in places like London, Moscow, Paris, or New Orleans. You'd never had to worry about that, nothing bad ever happened in Mystic Falls. You found it sort of sweet that he was so worried though, standing directly behind you like a bodyguard as you looked through the window at who was outside. You smiled. "You can relax, man. It's just Matt."
Yet, he didn't relax. When you twisted the knob, Kol quickly wound his arm around your waist, swiftly pulling you into his side. You blushed furiously, cracking the door open just slightly to keep the warmth inside. The snowstorm had gotten significantly worse.
Matt Donovan stood on the doorstep, hands shoved in his pockets against the cold as he shivered. He didn't have the money to afford a good coat to keep him warm, but he smiled at you with more warmth than anyone else in town ever had - aside from Kol of course. He was friendly but the two of you just weren't close. The blond had only ever been your friend out of proximity. In a town as small as Mystic Falls, it's a little hard not to get to know your neighbors from across the street.
"Hey, Y/N!" His teeth were chattering violently.
"Hey, Matt! Move it or lose it 'cuz I'm closing this door," You stated dryly. Opening the front door just wide enough for him to slip inside, you slammed it shut again as soon as he was in the clear.  Kol's grip on your waist tightened as Matt stepped over the threshold and you bit your lip, pretending not to notice.
“Oh, hallelujah, it’s warm in here!” The blond-haired quarterback relaxed almost immediately once inside, closing his eyes and sighing. "You're an actual angel, Y/N/N," He said.
"Naturally, but what's the reason this time?" You smirked.
He groaned. "My payment was late by one day and the electric company shut my heat off."
You hissed in genuine sympathy. "Geez, sorry dude. That sucks."
"Tell me about it," He huffed. Matt opened his eyes and smiled at you. Then his gaze shifted to Kol and he startled, taking a step back as his eyes flew wide. "What the- Kol?" He sputtered.
Kol waved. "Hey there, mate."
Matt's face drained of color and you blinked, glancing between them. Weird.
"Y/N, what's he doing here?" Matt questioned. His tone was icier than the storm outside.
"Indentured servitude," Kol replied easily. You huffed a laugh.
"I lured him here under false pretenses and roped into doing my bidding," You explained, smirking. "Why?"
Matt's eyes remained glued to Kol. "No reason." Yeah, there was definitely a reason all right. A tense silence lingered in the air for a moment.
"So… Did you need something, Matty?" You wondered, rocking back and forth on your heels.
He blinked and shifted his attention back to you. "Yeah, no, um… yeah." He shrugged, gesturing vaguely. "I was just wondering if I could borrow your, uh, phone charger. Mine kinda… broke."
"Of course!" You chirped. "I'll go get it while you wait here, yeah?" 
"Yeah." Matt's eyes drifted back to Kol as you were speaking. You glanced back at Kol but his expression was carefully, perfectly, unreadable. What was that about?
"Okay… Right." 
Kol's arm around your waist was rigid but you tapped his hand twice and he let go. His fingers traced along your back as you moved away, pressing firmly into your skin. His hands were still cool.
You tried to shake the odd behavior off but couldn't help listening in on their conversation as you climbed the stairs.
"Speaking of things that break, how's the hand doing?" Kol asked casually. "I heard that was quite the injury you had a while back. Multiple contusions, eh? Nasty business that. Especially for a… quarterback was it?"
"Nah, I'm fine." Matt waved his hand, though his voice was oddly tense. "It wasn't as bad as it looked. Actually, I'm more interested in Y/N's hand. What happened there?"
Kol laughed, but you knew it wasn't genuine. "Ah, yes. That was a little misadventure in the noble profession that is baking, believe it or not."
"Wow, that's crazy," Matt said flatly. 'Yeah, I-I don't believe it."
"Don't you?"
"Nah."
Satisfied that their conversation seemed somewhat normal - aside from the obviously forced civility of it - you ducked into your room and retrieved your extra phone charger. You also grabbed a blanket from your hall closet because you knew Matt didn't have enough. Then you went back down the stairs. 
Your two friends were right where you'd left them. Matt was glaring daggers and Kol's smile looked a bit more like a jaguar bearing its teeth than it did an actual human expression of happiness. The animosity simmering between them was thick enough to warrant a Dr. Suess book.
"Here ya' go, Matty," You said, dropping the items into his arms. "Phone charger and a blanket because Virginia law is stupid!"
There was relief that he didn't want to show when he smiled at you. "No, no. Y/N you don't have to give me this, just the charger is more than enough."
"Well, you might as well save your breath 'cuz I'm not taking it back." You smirked.
"You're a lifesaver." He chuckled.
You winked. "I know."
He sent you a grateful smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Well, uh, thanks. Have a - have a nice night." 
"We will," Kol chimed in.
You almost missed the scowl that flickered across Matt's face, it was there for a second and gone the next. Then he turned and opened the door. You held it open as he stepped out, Kol trailing your steps like a shadow. His arm wound itself securely around your waist again, squeezing lightly for a moment. The gentle pressure made you dizzy, but it was gone just as quickly - you must have imagined it. 
"I guess I'll see you later," Matt said with a small wave. You flashed him a smile.
"See ya." You expected him to just go, and he moved to leave, but he stopped. Just as you were closing the door.
"Y/N!" He called out at the last second. 
You cracked the door open just enough to enable conversation. Kol's fingertips pressed in at your waist just slightly more - almost possessively… but that was just ridiculous. Right? You shook the thought away.
"Yeah?"
The blond's eyes flicked to Kol one last time before landing on yours. There was something in them, it was desperate but reserved. Like there was something he was begging you to understand. But he didn't tell you what it was. He just said:
"Stay safe." 
You nodded. "O'course." 
Then he turned his collar up against the wind and stalked away through the snow. You thought you saw him shake his head as you closed the door. How odd.
You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until the door clicked shut and you released it, leaning your head against the wood. 
"That was so weird," You mused, just trying to make sense of it. "What's his problem, am I right?" You huffed breathily. Kol just shrugged.
"I haven't the faintest," He replied, shaking his head. "Vicious small town paranoia perhaps?"
"Maybe, I guess." You shook your head, baffled. "But Matt's usually just nice to everyone." You stood there, worrying your lip as you tried to puzzle it out to no avail. Your friend pulled you away from the door and your thoughts a moment later.
"Really?" Kol's arm around your waist dropped lower, his hand resting like a ghost's on your hip as he accompanied you back towards the living room. "That's the strangest thing. He's always just seemed to hate me. I don't even know what I did!"
"Huh. Weird." You gave up on trying to figure it out and shrugged. Returning to your place on the couch to continue the movie, Kol once again took up the spot next to you but he didn't let go. He leaned back and took you with him, holding you close as he guided you to lay across his chest. You were hesitant to curl up with him. What if you were misinterpreting this? Your fears were quickly swept away, however, when you felt him tug your body closer.
"What are you, a stiff?" He chuckled, tucking your head under his chin. "I want you to lay down, love. Now, come here." He dragged you closer and this time you went with him, letting yourself get comfortable. Kol pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your hair and you shivered.
Holy crap, this was a cuddle.
Kol was cuddling you. 
Your cheeks flared unreasonably warm and you prayed for him not to notice your heart racing faster than a rabbit's. He probably would, you could certainly feel it. 
"What's this for?" You wondered, trying not to let your voice tremble. You thought you did rather well.
"Mmm. You're warm," Kol mumbled into your hair blissfully, curling himself around you a little. 
"Well I have other blankets, you know," You pointed out, snickering. The boy's hand found your good one and tangled your fingers together.
"True," He acknowledged. "But none of them would be near as effective."
"How do you figure?" 
He shrugged a little, rubbing circles into the back of your hand with his thumb. "Well, the average human's standard body temperature is ninety-eight degrees and there's two of us. Add that together and that makes one hundred and ninety-six degrees. Simple!"
You snorted. "Yeah, well I'm ninety-eight percent sure that's not how that works."
"Of course that's how it works!" He scoffed. 
"You guys are gross," Ainsley muttered, shaking her head.
"Meow, meow!" Nora climbed up onto Kol's lap and curled up into a little ball, clearly not at all bothered.
"Plus a cat," Kol added. "That makes two hundred and ninety-four degrees."
"You're full of it," You sighed.
"Oh absolutely."
By the time the movie was over, Nora was fast asleep and Ainsley was well on her way there. Kol, you were pretty sure, was two and a half sheets to the wind himself and, if you were being completely honest, you too could feel the figurative wall approaching fast. Yet, you didn't want to move. You were beyond comfortable just where you were. Too bad your absolutely platonic cuddle puddle couldn’t last.
You knew this crush on him was stupid. You knew that.
You weren't a fool. Kol was your closest friend and you knew his reputation better than anyone. The boy was a troublemaker and a notorious flirt - a well-warranted reputation. The number of girls you knew he'd slept with was too high to count, not to mention all the others you had no clue about because you weren't exactly what one might call in the loop. Sure, all those other girls were complete sluts anyway, but that wasn't the point.
The point was, that wasn't you.
You may have been a nobody, but at least you had no delusions about becoming something more - someone popular. You didn't want attention and you didn't need it. Especially not from a hundred or so underage wannabes with self-esteem issues. No thanks! 
You weren't going to throw your dignity away just because Kol or any other boy wanted something. You were worth more than that and you knew it. You weren’t going to lower your boundaries for anyone and you knew Kol knew that already.
So why did he put up with you at all?
See, that was the question that had you doubting. You meant nothing to anyone. No one would care if he screwed you over - doing so wouldn't bring him any sort of sick praise or status, though he didn’t seem to crave those things like every other high schooler did. So why make the effort to talk to you? Why would he go out of his way to help you tonight if he didn't care at least a little bit?
This was all so confusing. You didn't want to think about it anymore.
"Look at that, bedtime," You announced quietly. Kol stirred underneath you and you sat up, raising a brow as he rubbed at his eyes.
"I wasn't sleeping," He claimed, jabbing a finger at you. 
You snickered. "Yeah, yeah… just resting your eyes, right?"
"Exactly." He grinned. You rolled your eyes and detangled yourself from the boy's arms, much to his disappointment.
"You know who's not resting her eyes though…" You trailed off, tapping Ainsley on the shoulder. She slapped your hand away drowsily. 
"Iss' not bedtime… I’m-I'm not tired," She protested, slurring.
"Liar." You smirked. "Come on, you gotta get up so you can go to bed."
"I'll sleep here," She argued.
"No, you'll sleep in your bed."
"Too late."
You grimaced and Kol spoke up from behind you, tapping Ainsley's leg.
"Come now, love," He urged. "Don't make me carry you."
She shook her head. "You can't carry me, I'm a big girl."
"I can and I will," He warned.
You sighed. "Kol, don't. You'll hurt yourself."
"Oh, how wrong you are, darling," He whispered into your ear. You blinked, startled by his sudden proximity.
He settled his hand on your back and rubbed a few comforting circles before slowly, experimentally, sliding it lower. His fingertips danced along your spine, down to the base where he stopped.
Kol lifted his hand away and adjusted his grip on Nora who he had already scooped up. Holding her in one arm, he bent down and used his shoulder to hoist Ainsley up too. She naturally wrapped her arms and legs around him like a little Koala so that probably made things easier. Though it made it no less surprising to you as he began climbing the stairs a minute later with little to no effort. Together, Ainsley and Nora must have weighed about a hundred pounds and Kol wasn’t an athlete as far as you knew. So where the hell was he pulling that kind of strength from? You shut your gaping mouth and followed after them.
You arrived on the second floor just in time to watch Kol tuck Ainsley into her bed, covering her with a few extra blankets in light of the winter storm. Nora hadn't woken despite being moved and she was quickly tucked in a well. 
"Meow, meow," She mumbled.
You offered Kol a smile from your position in the hallway and he just rolled his eyes, turning out their lights as he shut their bedroom door.
"That was adorable," You voiced under your breath. 
"I bet," He hummed. "Your turn, darling. Let's go fix that hand."
You groaned. You'd been dreading this the whole night. What if treating your burns made them hurt worse? Wouldn't they just go away on their own after a while?
"What if I changed my mind about that?" You tried, lamely attempting to hide your burned mess of a hand behind your back. 
He shot you a very pointed smile. "Not an option, sweet thing. Now, where do you keep your first aid kit?"
"My bathroom," You sighed, pointing. 
"Thank you." He placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you along though you didn't exactly fight him. You just complained more than anything.
"My body, my choice right?" You huffed, walking through your bedroom doorway and immediately turning to enter the bathroom. 
"In any other scenario, absolutely." The boy smirked, closing the door. "Unfortunately this is not any other scenario and you will take care of your body even if I have to do it for you."  
You huffed and rolled your eyes. Using your good hand, you hoisted yourself up to sit on the counter. "This is gonna hurt, isn't it?" You asked wearily, watching him search for the first aid kit.
"Just a little bit," He assured, pulling the kit out of the towel closet. He opened it up and started rummaging through the thing.
“You lie.” You deadpanned.
“Indeed,” He hissed, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Just trying to ease your nerves, love.”
"I think this is a violation," You grumbled.
“Well, in that case, shame on me," He replied cheerfully. The boy grabbed a spray of some kind out of the kit and held it in one hand, offering the other to you. "Might want to hold onto something for this next bit."
You were in no way prepared for the pain that came next. Kol sprayed the chemical solution on your arm and you bit back a scream. The burns stung. Your eyes welled with tears and you kicked your legs out, nearly crushing the poor guy's hand in your grip. He tried his best to keep you calm, muttering encouragement the whole time while you verged on hysteria.
"Kol? Kol, that hurts! Please don't do that, it hurts!" You hated letting anyone see you cry, but this was the most pain you'd endured in years. "Kol, please? Please, it hurts so bad. Just stop. Kol please stop!" You sobbed quietly. 
From the expression on your friend's face, you would have thought that hearing your pleas hurt him as much as your burns hurt you. He looked guiltier than you'd ever felt.
"Shhhhhh, shhhhhh. Darling, it's alright," He soothed. "I'm almost done. Just a few more seconds, love. You're doing so well." His voice was shaking. You blinked away tears but they seemed incessant on falling. "There, that part's finished," He breathed what felt like an eternity later.
You choked down another sob and focused on your breathing. The scorching sting in your arm began to fade bit by bit as Kol pulled out bottles of aloe and antibiotics. He sighed deeply, unable to meet your eyes.
"I'm just trying to help you," He said quietly. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain."
You nodded, slightly more rational now. "If not you then it would have been someone else later and that probably would have hurt worse," You reasoned. Your smile was tight but genuine. "I'm kinda glad it was you. I probably would have Spartan kicked anyone else."
"I'm honored," He snickered. Kol grew quiet as he shifted his attention to gently applying the aloe and antibiotic onto each of the burn marks. He was very careful and extraordinarily gentle as he wrapped the area in bandages. 
"Where'd you learn how to do this?" You wondered, watching him with fascination.
The boy smirked, shrugging. "I was a dumb kid," He admitted. "Got hurt a lot." He secured the outermost layer with a few hooks and sighed. "There, almost as beautiful as you."
You rolled your eyes. "Kol Mikaelson, are you flirting with me or yourself?" You demanded, feeling uncharacteristically bold.
"Definitely you." The boy's lips twitched up into a crooked smile, as he leaned against the counter next to you. “I have been for quite awhile. Would’ve thought you’d notice.”
You blushed, bowing your head to avoid his amber eyes. "Believe me, I’ve noticed…” You hesitated, forcing a laugh. “I’ve watched you flirt with everyone."
"I know; yet, no matter what I try, I just keep on running back to you. It’s the strangest thing. Anyone else and I’ve never looked back or looked twice. But when it’s you, I can’t seem to stop myself… and I don’t think I want to.”
Your lips pressed into a thin line and you shook your head. “Kol, d-don’t do that. Please? Don’t make me sound like… like…”
He tilted his head. “Like what?”
“Like…I-I don’t know!  Like something I’m not!” You scowled.
“Like special?”
You froze. Suddenly you didn't feel so bold anymore. He was so close to you, hardly an inch away. Your throat felt too dry to talk. 
“Yeah.” You looked up, nodding. “I don’t like liars, I-I can’t stand a liar, Kol. So just-just stop, okay? This here, w-what you’re doing right now, it-it isn’t funny.”
The boy frowned. “No, darling, I’m not-”
“Not what?” You interrupted. “Not trying to chat me up? Make me feel all special just because my parents aren’t home and you think that means I’ll make some sort of exception for you? Well, the answer is no. I guess this is what I get for choosing the wrong friends.” You tried to hop off the counter, but Kol stepped closer to you, positioning himself to stand between your legs.
“That’s not what this is,” He said. Kol leaned closer, resting his hands atop the counter on either side of you. “Darling, I’m not trying to hurt you.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to fight off the blush invading your cheeks. “Right. As if there’s any other reason someone like you would ever acknowlage someone like me. I’ve never qualified as special in my entire life.”
"I don't think that's true," He murmured, sweeping your hair over to one shoulder. "I tend to avoid ordinary people." 
"Then why are you here?" You demanded in a dry, derelict whisper. 
His brows pulled together and he frowned slightly, but it wasn't directed at you. "There's… a lot of reasons, I think," He said. "I-I'm not all that good at telling the truth, especially when that truth envolves… well… me. But-" His voice trailed off and he swallowed thickly, seeming almost pained.
"What?"
His lips twitched up into a nervous smile as he glanced away. “You mean more to me than anyone else becasue when I’m around you I don’t feel alone. I feel at peace. My world has been crashing down around me for as long as I can remember and I’ve always been running, or hiding, or fighting for my life. But when I’m around you and you’re happy, you-you smile at me and I can pretend that-that I’m normal and that everything’s alright.” He bowed his head, smiling thinly. “I’ve always hated depending on anyone for anything, but when I’m holding you, things calm down. Its quiet wherever you are and I can just live in that moment, where the only thing you ask of me is the very thing I want.” Kol looked up at you through his lashes and you could never resist those soft amber eyes. “Why would I seek the company of anyone else when I know you’re the only one who’s ever sought mine? Darling, it’s not your body that I want… well, it is but-” He cut himself off with a sigh and a slight laugh. “What I’m trying to say is, I want you. I want you because you’re my best friend and I want more.”
You blinked. You hadn't been prepared for a full blown confession… and that one didn't sound very platonic. He had you trapped between his arms and you couldn't run even if you wanted to. But why would you? You would never run from him.
You bit your lip, there was no going back to anything if you asked what your heart wanted to know. "So, y-you really like me? As, you know, more than a friend?" Your command of the English language was legendary.
Kol grinned. "What more would you have me do? Propose?" He laughed. "Or would you prefer I just make out with you right this very second?" 
Blushing deeply, you cleared your throat and twisted your fingers together nervously. "It's not my fault… I mean, when you're a senior in highschool who's never been asked on a date, you learn to ignore anything that might be considered a hint," You admitted. "'Cuz it just never is."
"I see…" His voice trailed off. Kol paused for a moment and you felt your cheeks color as his eyes skimmed down your figure. He made a slight movement towards you but stopped and met your eyes. "May I?" He asked in a much softer tone. The playful gleam you usually found in his eyes was replaced by something much softer. It was soft like cotton; yet there was something hungry there too.
"What?" Your voice was hardly more than a whisper. 
"May I touch you?" He clarified. 
Maybe he was lying. Maybe he only wanted you for your body. Maybe he would throw you away once he realized you wouldn't give in to him like any other girl. Maybe he just wanted to use you.
But if any of that were true, he wouldn't have been there for you when you needed him. 
You smiled softly. "Yeah." He smiled.
Keeping his eyes on your face to watch for the first sign of your discomfort, he settled his hands on your waist. When he moved them, he did so slowly - achingly slowly - smoothing them tentatively, hesitantly, over your hips then lower to your bare upper thighs. You should have worn longer shorts, but you didn't object. You didn't do anything. You didn't know what to do. 
Your heart was racing and you couldn't breathe properly. 
"Do you like that?" He hummed. His lips were at your ear and you were hyper-focused on him but your brain refused to believe it.
In one swift movement, he dragged you in close - dizzyingly close - pulling you into his chest. The boy leaned down and rested his head on your shoulder, nudging his nose against your throat lightly, almost teasingly but you got the feeling that there was more to it than that. His touch felt like snow before the cold sinks in. The pressure of his fingers on your skin set your senses on fire as Kol squeezed your thighs in a gentle, precise grip. Your eyes fluttered closed. He traced his hands over your sides - up and then back down - and then Kol squeezed again. The boy's fingertips dug into the flesh of your thighs and you couldn't help the soft moan that escaped your lips. His touch felt… good. Like aloe on a burn. Yet, addicting like the rush of adrenaline. 
You nodded. "Is this real?"
His grip on your thighs tightened and he leaned in closer, skimming his lips over your throat. "Exactly how obvious do I have to make my intentions before you believe them to be genuine?" He whispered, almost pained.
"Pretty freaking obvious, apparently," You laughed. 
Then you felt it - a tiny feather-like pressure, soft and sweet against your pulse. Your breath hitched and Kol pressed his lips against your throat again - his kiss was sweeter than candy and you wanted more. You shivered and felt his lips twist into a smirk at your reaction. His nose nudged at your throat he took a deep breath, humming contentedly as he pushed a stray lock of hair out of your face.
He pulled back and captured your lips in a soft, adoring kiss. His hand slipped beneath your shirt, setting fire to your skin though his hands seemed colder than they had been a few hours ago - almost unnaturally cold. Kol broke away from your lips, smiling blissfully for a moment. When he came back again, he slid his tongue along your lower lip, asking sweetly. You granted him his request and holy criminy that boy was an insanely good kisser. Every time you flinched at something he did, he would squeeze your waist tenderly, reassuring you that he would never hurt you.
He didn't stop. With each kiss, the boy's lips lingered on your neck, savoring the sensation. "You, darling, smell divine," Kol whispered the words between kisses as though they were something he wasn't meant to tell you. After a few more sweet pecks, Kol opened his mouth and kissed you a little harder. The boy moaned a little and his mouth moved against your neck, harsher, needier. He tugged on your waist, drawing you deliciously against him and you couldn't help but gasp when you felt the tentative sweep of that boy's tongue glide along your skin. Kol shuddered and clinched your thighs; you took it he liked what he tasted.
Never.
"How's that for a hint?" He asked smugly. 
"Pretty good," You laughed, taking a moment to catch your breath. Kol pressed a kiss to your temple and pulled away. "Wait-"
"Nora's crying," He informed you.
Your face fell.
"Of course she is."
Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln @r13mar @rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99 @railingsofsorrow @apolloroid @thatweirdoleigh @misswe03 @eat-cake @felinegrate Hey, if your name isn't on here and you requested to be tagged, send me a DM to let me know! Tumblr wouldn't let me tag some people and I'm really sorry about that...
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queen-of-bel · 1 year
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Throwing together all of my Fuuta thoughts/theories into one post now that Backdraft has been out for a couple days and I’ve watched it probably no less than 800 times by now.
Before I hop into the murder, I want to point out a few things about Fuuta’s personality that are important to understand. The first is about his family life. He implies that his mother left him and his father, saying that he doesn’t remember much about his mother since his parents divorced. He then goes on to insult his father, calling him a “weak, pathetic fogey”. He also seems to be pretty lonely in real life, as he’s always shown alone in Bring It On.
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Both this loneliness and his dislike of showing weakness drives what I believe to be his desire to have a bold outward persona— an idealized self that is a brave leader who enacts justice and defends the weak. In both Bring It On and Backdraft, we see this concept of Fuuta having two senses of self.
In Backdraft, after Fuuta reflects on his guilty vote, he sees another, more confident version of himself approaching his victim, Killcheroy.
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Another thing to consider is that in Bring It On, the knight version of Fuuta has certain physical characteristics changed. In real life, Fuuta is really short (165 cm/5’4), wears baggy clothes, and covers most of his face with a mask. However, his knight version is clearly just as tall, if not taller, than his peers, wears tight-fitting armor, and his face is completely unobstructed.
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Fuuta wants us to believe that he’s fearless, that he jumps into these situations with nothing but courage in his heart and at the end of the day, he’s a hero. But in reality, he's a timid, cowardly person and he knows it.
In Backdraft, we see that he has trouble keeping up his "brave defender of justice" persona, with his lip quivering before eventually grinning.
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I think that this persona can help explain the order of the prisoners that we see in Backdraft. It seems to be that the closer the prisoner is to Fuuta, the higher his opinion is of them, or perhaps it signifies how comfortable he is with them.
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It makes sense that Haruka is right next to Fuuta, as Fuuta has said from the beginning that he feels he needs to look out for Haruka since Haruka is younger. If we look at who the last prisoners are, Kotoko is at the end (for obvious reasons), but Kazui is even further past Kotoko.
It may seem odd that the man who stopped the woman from nearly murdering Fuuta would be last on the list, but given how much Fuuta hates being perceived as weak, I think that he just genuinely feels ashamed around Kazui. It’s nothing against Kazui specifically, but all of a sudden Fuuta has become the very person he hates— “weak and pathetic”. Kazui has seen him in his most vulnerable state, and that’s just something that Fuuta cannot stand.
Speaking of this lineup, I think it’s also interesting that Muu is so close to him, especially considering that there haven’t been many Muu/Fuuta interactions in Milgram so far. That being said, Muu was a victim of extreme bullying, and Fuuta views himself as a defender of justice, so it’s reasonable to assume that Muu is someone Fuuta sympathizes with.
This leads me to the million dollar question that everyone is dying to know. What exactly did Killcheroy do?
I made a post about this recently, but tldr; I think Killcheroy was posting pictures of someone without their permission with the intent of bullying/harassing them. Killcheroy keeps bringing up these loopholes as to why it’s okay for her to post the photo, but the fact that she needs to bring up these loopholes means that this picture really shouldn’t be on the internet in the first place, and she knows it.
Fuuta is also very harsh towards Killcheroy, saying that she’s not going to get off easy just because she’s a middle school student. When you consider that the last person Fuuta went after was a sexual harasser, it makes me think that Killcheroy is engaging in some really bad behavior, and bullying seems like just the thing that would provoke such a strong response from Fuuta.
This is also where Fuuta starts really fucking up.
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I believe that Fuuta decided to do the classic “eye for an eye” route, and posted a picture of the girl’s house online. We see in Bring It On that he says it was easy to figure out where she lives, and in Undercover, we see him taking a photo of a house.
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In Backdraft as well, when he spray paints over the cartoon of Killcheroy, he leaves her face visible for everyone to see. I think this signifies him doxxing her in a way that he hasn’t done before with other people he’s gone after in the past.
Killcheroy leaned pretty heavily on the “it’s just a picture!” excuse, so I think that’s probably how Fuuta justified posting the picture of her house.
It’s also worth noting that the amount of paint Fuuta used for Killcheroy in Backdraft is significantly less than the amount of paint he used for the other people, which means that Fuuta may have… gone easy on Killcheroy? I really think he just wanted her to see what it felt like when people post personal pictures without consent, but didn’t think anything much would come from it, which is why he immediately walks away without looking back, as he did with the other paintings.
What he didn’t expect was the amount of people who would join in.
This is another reason I think Killcheroy was a bully. Bullying is one of the worst things that a child can do, and people always love when a bully gets what’s coming to them. It would explain why the internet descended so quickly onto Killcheroy and vilified her. As soon as we see people ganging on Killcheroy, we immediately see Fuuta becoming scared of what he’s done.
Now everyone is harassing this young girl who did something bad, but she didn’t deserve to get this much hate from so many strangers. He begins questioning his actions, as we can see with the lyrics changing from “burn, burn!” to “burn, burn?”
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Unfortunately for Fuuta, things are about to get much worse.
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We see Killcheroy choking before eventually crumbling away, signifying her death. However, I don’t think that she took her own life. The main reason I believe this is because when we see Fuuta’s murder reenacted with Es, Es’ shoes are still on, implying that Killcheroy did not commit suicide (unlike Mahiru’s and Kazui’s victims, both of whom have Es’ shoes removed during the reenactment).
What I think happened instead is that someone physically went to Killcheroy’s house, and set it ablaze, either intentionally or accidentally. We have a lot of fire/burning symbolism all throughout Fuuta’s trials that just hasn’t been accounted for yet, and if Killcheroy didn’t kill herself, then her dying in a house fire makes the most sense.
One more thing I want to touch on is how Fuuta views his own involvement in Killcheroy’s death. While he hasn’t completely come around to the idea that he caused it, he is certainly less adamant than he was in the first trial. On the website for his S2 voice lines, he actually says “I’m not guilty… I think.”
This is a stark contrast to his S1 voice lines where he says
“Murderer? That’s not my fault. That’s not me. I didn’t kill someone. Right? Isn’t that right?”
This question to Es is repeated in his first voice drama:
“That’s stupid. I haven’t killed anyone. I didn’t kill anyone. … I didn’t. I … didn’t, right?”
Instead of looking to Es to validate his “innocence”, as he was in the first trial, Fuuta is now tackling his denial in a way we never have seen him do before. It’s no longer about Es viewing Fuuta as guilty or not. It’s Fuuta himself openly challening his view that he’s innocent. It’s a small step, but it is a step in the right direction.
He also says in the S2 voice lines: “What I did could have had absolutely nothing to do with that person’s death - you don’t know!”
Again, this isn’t a complete admission of guilt, but by saying “could have”, it implies that he’s aware there is a chance that his actions led to someone’s death, and he no longer is saying it’s impossible that he’s killed someone.
Another thing I find interesting is the “moribound” line in Backdraft. In the Chinese translation, it actually was translated to something along the lines of “I was involved in death”, with the “I” part explicitly stated. If this translation is accurate, then this would mark the first time Fuuta admits he’s involved with Killcheroy’s death, even though he still is denying any fault in it.
I really hope Fuuta is voted to be forgiven overall. He did something really stupid, but it wasn’t malicious. He started showing fear and guilt the moment that people started piling on Killcheroy, proving that he didn’t just feel bad once he learned someone died. Even the official Milgram website says that he’s a timid but good person. I still think he deserved the first unforgivable vote, but he’s ultimately still a salvageable person.
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JON SNOW DAY 1: THE HUMBLE CHAMPION 🌟
Jon has various scenes where he defends/ lifts up the spirits of his best friend, Sam. Some of the most memorable occur on the first book. On AGOT Jon befriends the lonely Sam and shows his empathy towards the newcomer’s struggles and also he defends him first from Ser Alliser Thorne and afterwards  from Rast as well. Later on, he even goes to Maester Aemon in the middle of the night to make sure that his friend will also be promoted to a black brother (as Sam truly deserves).
On this meta, I decided to write about a rather overlooked scene. One that   happens at the beggining of the second book, on Jon’s first chapter. It’s right before the expendition beyond the Wall begins. It is decided that Sam will also join the Night’s Watch’s mission beyond the Wall,  and Jon- being his observant self-  knows that he’s friend is ill suited for this quest:
The gods play cruel jests, Jon thought. Pyp and Toad, all a lather to be a part of the great ranging, were to remain at Castle Black. It was Samwell Tarly, the self-proclaimed coward, grossly fat, timid, and near as bad a rider as he was with a sword, who must face the haunted forest  
However he tries plenty of times to comfort his friend and keeps telling him that he will be alright on their journey beyond the Wall.
First, he reassures Sam that they will definetely return from their mission:
"If we return . . ."
"The Old Bear is taking two hundred seasoned men, three-quarters of them rangers. Qhorin Halfhand will be bringing another hundred brothers from the Shadow Tower. You'll be as safe as if you were back in your lord father's castle at Horn Hill."  
Then, he reminds Sam of his role to their mission:
The Old Bear was taking two cages of ravens, so they might send back word as they went. Maester Aemon was blind and far too frail to ride with them, so his steward must go in his place. "We need you for the ravens, Sam. And someone has to help me keep Grenn humble."  
However, Sam being Sam, he counters back his pessimistic opinion. Jon doesn’t tell his friend to stop being afraid but instead empathizes with him:
Sam, you said the words. You're a brother of the Night's Watch now."
"A brother of the Night's Watch shouldn't be so scared."
"We're all scared. We'd be fools if we weren't."  
Jon even shares his father’s wisdom with his friend in order to calm him. And according to Ned Stark’s saying Sam shouldn’t feel ashamed that he’s scared.
"There's no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it. Come, I'll help you gather up the maps."  
Please note, that Jon told Sam the truth when he said that they are all scared. Jon himself was still haunted in his dreams by Others. What I find really telling of Jon’s kind soul is that he decided not to burden his friend with his own fears because he knew that would make Sam feel worst. Instead, he comforts Sam, prioritizing his friend’s feelings over his own:
Too many rangers had been lost the past two years, even Benjen Stark, Jon's uncle. They had found two of his uncle's men in the wood, slain, but the corpses had risen in the chill of night. Jon's burnt fingers twitched as he remembered. He still saw the wight in his dreams, dead Othor with the burning blue eyes and the cold black hands, but that was the last thing Sam needed to be reminded of.  
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Only the Strong Survive Ch. 6
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Series Summary: Lexie Weston is in a terrible, abusive marriage. In her mind and soul, she feels like she has no way out that won't result in her death. But something changes in her life to make her take the risk. Can she rely on Sheriff Beau Arlen to protect her like he said he would, or will this risk lead to ruin?
Pairings: Beau Arlen x OFC (eventual)
Series Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut, Angst, Fluff throughout. A pretty slow burn, TW: Abusive marriage, Domestic abuse will be talked about throughout. Chapter warnings will be more specific
Word Count: 3,348
Chapter Summary: Y/N is starting to realize some exciting and scary truths.
Chapter Warnings: Not many in this chapter. Brief mentions of abusive relationships, and hard times.
A/N: So, this next chapter took almost an entire year to get out to those of you who've been enjoying this series. I apologize profusely, and can only blame it on my cruel muses, who stalled this story in my brain. But I'm very grateful to those of you who said kind things about the story and said you were looking forward to the rest. It's encouraging to have people say they want to hear more. (In a friendly, kind way, of course.) So thank you, and I don't think the next chapter will take another whole year. (Like six months, tops. 😜 JK! JK!)
Hope you enjoy Ch. 6!
P.S. This song features in the chapter - To Make You Feel My Love and I've linked the version I was imagining here. (Minus the cheering crowd, and with a singer I love EVEN more than Garth Brooks.)
The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @saradika
Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists
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Lexi stood in front of the full length mirror and shook her head at her reflection for the dozenth time that day. She felt ridiculous.
“Ooh, you look so cute!”
Cicely Travis was beaming as she came up behind Lexi to squeeze her shoulders. The young, tall, brash, and outspoken woman had become a good friend to Lexi in the months that she’d been staying at Haven House. She was a decade younger than Lexi, but seemed to have lived four lifetimes in her mere quarter century of life. 
The women had shared some of their hardships with each other, but certainly not all, so Lexi only knew that Cicely had run away from home at thirteen to get away from her mom’s boyfriend, and that she’d spent some of the years since as a sex worker. It was one of the things she’d told Lexi right away. 
“I was a hooker and a stripper.” Cicely had told her out of the blue on only their second meeting. When Lexi had just blinked at her for a moment, Cicely had explained. “I’m not any more, but I like to tell people that right off, so that there’s no misunderstandings or issues down the road. I did what I did, and I’m not ashamed, so, if that’s gonna stop you being a friend, then I wanna know that now. You know, save us both time.”
Lexi had just shaken her head and shrugged. “I don’t care.” She’d said honestly. “We all survive and exist the best we can. Sucks being a woman sometimes.”
Cicely had snorted. “Damn right, sister.”
Since then the women had bonded over some shared hardships and the general shittiness of most of the men they’d known. Cicely had also been there for her as Lexi had proceeded through four more court dates over the last two months.
She hadn’t been asked to speak again, thank god, but the judge insisted on all her written and recorded accounts being read into the record. So four times she’d had to sit in the courtroom and listen to Marsha read out her words describing the abuse, or else listen to her own timid voice coming through a tinny recording as she recounted years worth of trauma. 
And every time, after getting a ride home from Beau complete with his encouragement that everything was going to work out, she went to Cicely’s room to commiserate about the day and to admit just how scared she was. She never wanted to admit her fears to Beau because she didn’t want to burden him more than she already had. But also, she didn't want him to think she was just this scared, trembling thing. 
He’d called her a warrior, and she wanted him to keep believing that.
But Cicely would listen, and then trash Simon and the judge and Simon’s lawyer endlessly. It felt very therapeutic to Lexi, and Cicely often made her laugh with her slightly crude, but always hilarious sense of humor. 
She was the perfect kind of friend for Lexi; someone non-judgmental, who was so brash and loud, and talkative, that it became impossible for Lexi to stay quiet and shy. Cicely just pulled her along in the conversation no matter what.
Now the younger woman smoothed down the back of the blue polyester robe that Lexi wore, before stepping in front of her to beam at her. 
“This is so stupid.” Lexi said for the hundredth time that day. “I look like the world’s oldest high school graduate.” She rolled her eyes.
Cicely shook her head. “Nah, don’t be silly.” She pulled the graduation robe tight across Lexi’s baby bump. “You look more like a knocked up teenager.”
Lexi couldn’t help snorting out a laugh. She slapped Cicely’s hands away and let the gown fall back loose.
“Seriously,” Lexi continued, “I can’t believe they're putting on this whole thing. It feels like a bit much for passing a GED test.”
As she finished and before Cicely could respond she looked into the mirror and saw Beau and Jenny saunter into the tent.
“Oh my god!” Lexi cried as she spun around to face them. “What are you doing here?”
They both smiled and Jenny gave her a hug. “We’re here to celebrate you graduating, of course.” She answered as she stepped back beside Beau.
Lexi felt her cheeks go crimson. “Oh, for pete’s sake, I’m not graduating.” She shook her head. “I passed a test.”
“Lexi, this is a big deal. You should be proud of your accomplishments.” Beau argued while Jenny nodded.
Cicely gently bumped Lexi in the shoulder with her own. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her all day. We deserve to be celebrated!” She turned her head towards Lexi. “You listen to this beautiful man when he tells you things. He’s obviously very wise.”
Beau gave a mock bow. “Thank you, thank you.” He turned to Jenny and tapped a finger against his temple. “See, what have I been telling you? Wisdom.”
Jenny rolled her eyes and continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “Seriously, Lexi, this is definitely worth celebrating. And to that end, the station is hosting a little graduation party for everyone this evening. Six o’clock, at Beau’s trailer. The land is beautiful, and there will be a huge bonfire to ward off the chill, and amazing BBQ and drinks.” She smiled at Lexi. “And sparkling cider for those of us who can’t partake.”
Beau looked at Lexi, understanding in his gaze as he obviously caught the trepidation in her expression. “There will also be more than a dozen cops there, so you’ll all be very safe.”
Lexi was amazed sometimes how easily Beau understood her. He seemed to read her mind at times, and he always knew just what to say to make her feel better, or feel safe. It made her happy and nervous at the same time. She could feel the way her heart was responding to him, could feel the way her body responded to him too. 
When he was close to her, she always wanted to lean in to him, always wanted his arms around her. She remembered the way it had felt to give him an innocent kiss on the cheek, and now when she looked at him, she was uncomfortably aware of his mouth and how she'd been mere inches away from feeling his lips under hers.
At one of her most recent doctor’s appointments, the doctor had informed her that many women notice an increased libido during the second trimester, and warned her to make sure if she had sex to use a condom as being pregnant didn’t stop her from getting an STI.
Lexi had blushed, but told the doctor there was no chance of that. But she was blaming the increased libido for why her heart raced, and butterflies flew wildly in her belly every time Beau was near. 
She didn’t know very much about sex outside of her marriage. She’d slept with three guys before Simon, and none of them had been exactly earth shattering. Of course, sex with Simon had started out as nothing special and turned into a nightmare. Thankfully in the last few years of their marriage, he hadn’t been much interested in her, and he had very little ability to get it up, so she’d at least been granted that small mercy.
So, this was the first time she’d ever felt this kind of strong attraction to someone. It was slightly overwhelming, so she was definitely blaming it on the hormones racing through her blood while also trying desperately to ignore it altogether.
Jenny gave them final details about the after party and then she and Beau hugged Lexi and Cicely quickly before going to take their place in the high school gym that was hosting their small graduation ceremony. 
After they were gone, Cicely whistled slowly. “Je-sus CHRIST, that man is fine!”
Lexi choked slightly on her laughter. “Cicely!”
The other woman gave her a look. “You telling me you don’t think so?”
Lexi shrugged. “That’s not the point. He’s our friend. He’s been very kind to me.”
Cicely frowned at her. “So? That makes him LESS attractive?”
Lexi rolled her eyes. “I just mean, I don’t wanna talk about him like that.”
Cicely snorted. “There’s nothing wrong with appreciating beauty where you see it. I’m telling you, if I thought I had a chance in hell of pulling him away, I would be all OVER that man.”
Lexi felt her heart plummet. “Pull him away? I thought…” She cleared her throat. “I thought he was divorced. I didn’t realize he was with someone.”
Cicely looked at her like she was nuts. “You can not possibly be that obtuse.”
Lexi frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Cicely rolled her eyes. “What am I…? Girl, that man is so far gone for you it’s almost pathetic.”
Lexi’s eyes grew huge. “What are you talking about? Are you crazy? He’s not interested in me like that. He’s just a kind person. He’s a friend.”
Cicely gave her a deadpan stare and Lexi waved at her dismissively. “You’re crazy.” She said again.
Her friend shook her head. “Lexi, seriously. Beau is kind and friendly to me. He’s kind and friendly to his co-workers, to Sarah, to the other women here. But it’s not the same. When he looks at you, his face gets all…gooey.”
Lexi snorted out a laugh. “Gooey? Beau Arlen is not gooey about me.”
Their conversation was interrupted when Sarah poked her head into the room. “Okay, ladies - showtime! Everyone out in the hall to line up.”
Lexi smoothed down her gown and moved towards the door, but Cicely held her back a moment. “Okay, just pay attention tonight, at the Barbeque. If you pay attention, I know you’ll see it. And I say when you see it, baby, jump on it.”
Lexi shook her head and followed Cicely out the door. Her friend was wrong, imagining things. She knew it. Beau didn’t think of her as anything but a friend and someone he was trying to keep safe. 
That was all…right?
***
The women and their children were shuttled over from the high school to Beau’s in a rented school bus, and when they all arrived - the party started.
Beau’s land was very beautiful, Lexi thought. It was situated in a valley with a stunning view of the mountains all around. When they arrived around six o’clock, the mid-March sun was already sinking in the west, being swallowed up by the peaks in the distance. It was a perfect night, though, slightly warmer than usual, with no wind, and a huge bonfire to throw off plenty of heat.
The kids all immediately started a game of tag in the field, and left their moms to chat and mingle with each other, the deputies, and the Haven House staff in attendance. The atmosphere was jovial and celebratory, and despite herself, Lexi began to feel excited and proud. 
Not long after her arrival, she met Beau at the grill. He was laughing and joking with everyone, proclaiming he was king of the grill. As she watched him tease Deputy Poppernak, she shook her head at Cicely. She was crazy, Beau was this way with everyone. 
But then he spotted her standing in the crowd and his face did…change. She didn’t know that she’d call it gooey. But his eyes definitely lit up, and he left his precious grill to come up and give her a hug.
“Lexi, you looked so great up on that stage! Congratulations!”
She hugged him back, closing her eyes and trying to get Cicely’s words out of her head while also trying to ignore the way Beau’s strong arms felt locked around her. She inhaled his cologne and the butterflies were back. He pulled out of the embrace and she smiled at the ground.
“Thanks, it was a really nice ceremony.”
“Congratulations.” Said a voice from behind her and Lexi turned to see a teenage girl walking up to stand beside Beau. “How hot are those polyester robes? I want to dress accordingly when I graduate next year.”
Beau chuckled. “Lexi, this is my daughter, Emily. Em, this is Lexi Weston.”
Lexi shook her head as she took Emily’s outstretched hand. “It’s Howard again, actually.” She looked at Beau. “Marsha is helping me with the paperwork to change back to my maiden name.”
He nodded and smiled softly. “That’s great.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Howard.” Emily said politely.
“No, please, it’s really just Lexi. And it’s so nice to meet you too. You know your dad talks about you all the time.”
“Oh my god, how boring for you.” Emily said with a pained smile and an elbow to her dad’s ribs.
Lexi laughed lightly. “No, I like his Emily stories, he’s helping me prepare.” She explained with a hand on her baby bump. In the last couple of weeks it had become an honest to goodness bump, obvious unless she was wearing something flowy. The t-shirt she and leggings she wore now did nothing to conceal it. 
“Oh, good.” Emily said with a grin. “I love when he tells baby stories about me. It’s not embarrassing at all.”
Lexi laughed, and Emily reached up to kiss her dad’s cheek. “I’m gonna go organize the kids into lines to make s’mores.” She looked back at Lexi. “Congrats again.”
She bounded away and started the kid round-up. Lexi smiled and moved to stand beside Beau and watch. “She’s really great. So smart and capable.” She said as she watched the young girl effortlessly get the kids in line, and enlist the deputies to haul the s'mores making ingredients over to the bonfire.
Beau’s smile was all pride. “Yeah, she’s pretty incredible.”
Their attention was wrenched back to the barbeque as Poppernak called to Beau. “Hey boss, as king of the grill, you might wanna come figure out where all this black smoke is coming from!”
***
A couple of hours later most of the people had gravitated to sit around the big bonfire where it was warmest. There were dozens of chairs set around it, and lots of blankets to share.
Cicely and Lexi were almost in each other’s laps, curled up on a big adirondack chair under a thick wool blanket. They were very toasty, and Lexi was loving the peace and contentment she felt as she just listened to the soft rise and fall of conversations around her, the laughter that would break out occasionally, the sleepy voices of little ones in their moms’ arms, and the sharp crackling of the sweet smelling wood as it burned.
A couple of seats away Beau was leaning towards Cassie and talking animatedly with his hands. She couldn’t make out his exact words, but she liked to watch his expressions; he was so animated she could almost guess at the conversation.
He said something to make Cassie laugh and then he looked up and caught Lexi’s eye. His smile turned soft and he winked at her. “Comfy over there?” He asked a bit louder.
Lexi nodded happily. “Very.”
“Good.” His smile lingered a moment before his attention was snagged by Emily.
Cicely pinched Lexi lightly and cleared her throat. “Goo-ey.” She whispered conspiratorially.
Lexi slapped her friend’s thigh under the blanket. “Stop it.”
Cicely hummed noncommittally. “Whatever.”
When Lexi looked back at Beau he was shaking his head at Emily who was trying to pass him a guitar. Other people around the fire seemed to notice at the same time and they quieted down to listen. 
“No, god.” Beau was saying with an embarrassed laugh. “I’m not gonna subject these lovely people to my singing.”
His deputies all started egging him on too, but he was shaking his head, adamantly refusing to take the guitar from his daughter. Finally she pleaded with him.
“Please, you used to sing all the time.”
“Yeah, to make you go to sleep. Pretty sure you’d just pretend to make me stop.”
Emily pouted at him. “No, I loved listening to you. Come on.” She paused. “You haven’t picked up a guitar since…since before you left Dallas.”
A look shifted over Beau’s face that Lexi couldn’t interpret. He seemed sad, but also wary. He sighed. “Em -” 
“Please!” She interrupted him. 
With an even deeper sigh he finally took the guitar from her. His audience clapped and he shook his head, clearly embarrassed. “Oh god. What am I supposed to sing?” He asked his daughter, slightly desperate sounding. 
“Sing that one you used to sing.”
Beau lifted his hand in exasperation. “What one I used to sing.”
“The ‘love’ one…the…make you feel the love.”
“Make you feel my love?” Cassie clarified and Emily nodded. “Ooh, I love that song!”
Beau was obviously still very reluctant, but he settled the guitar on his lap and strummed a few chords before adjusting the tuning pegs to his liking. Finally he cleared his throat and shook his head as he looked out at the now silent audience staring at him.
“Oh boy.” He said quietly and everyone chuckled. “Sorry.” He said with a shake of his head.
Then he began plucking at the strings and a warm melody surrounded them all. When Beau began singing there was a collective intake of breath, clear surprise on everyone’s faces. His voice was warm and full, melodic and emotive. In short, it was beautiful.
When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I would offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love
He watched Emily as he sang the words and Lexi knew he meant every word he sang to her. He looked around the circle with a slightly sheepish smile as he strummed out the melody between verses, but his eye caught Lexi’s again as he began the second verse, and it was as though something kept their gazes locked as he sang. Lexi couldn’t have looked away if her life depended on it.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one to dry your tears I would hold you for a million years To make you feel my love
He strummed his way into the first bridge and then looked down at the ground before looking back at the rest of his audience as he began singing the bridge. Even though he wasn’t staring at her anymore, Lexi could feel every word he sang as though it was only the two of them there and he was singing it right to her.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met There’s no doubt in my mind where you belong
Cause I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue And I'd go crawling down the avenue There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea And down the highway of regret The winds of change are blowing wild and free Oh, but you ain't seen nothing like me yet
The last verse he sang slowly, plucking the strings gently, and there was no doubt that he’d cast a kind of enchantment over the whole group.
Cause there ain’t nothing that I wouldn't do Go to the ends of the Earth for you Make you happy, make your dreams come true To make you feel my love
The last note echoed into the evening air and there was a moment of peaceful quiet before everyone started clapping and talking at once. Several deputies got up to slap Beau on the back, and everyone was shouting disbelief and praise. 
For his part, Beau turned very red, and thrust the guitar back into Emily’s hands before wrapping one arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, and kissing the top of her head.
Beside her Cicely sighed deeply and repeated herself to Lexi. “Gooey.” She said, but her tone was definitely saying, “I told you so.”
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