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matchascara · 9 months

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CAMBOY SCARAMOUCHE

- IN WHICH: you find out the snarky purple haired boy in your class isn't as much as of a nobody as you thought he was.

contents: NSFW!! slight bdsm, mentions/use of sex toys

₊✮⸜ ༘⋆

he was the loner in class that spoke to nobody. headphones always on, blasting music that others who sat next to to him said to be j-rock. his aura was silent, cold and mysterious. the only quirk he showed to the public was his doodling habit in class. nobody really knew anything about him, besides his name.

scaramouche.

no matter how many times the blonde haired girl would invite him to parties, or hangouts, he'd never show. she'd pester him endlessly during lectures, only to be met with either complete silence followed by an eyeroll, or, if she's lucky, a scuff and a "stop bothering me." sometimes he'd switch it up and say, "go find something better to do with your free time."

yoimiya was defeated, and you never really quite knew how to help her. "try again tommorow." youd reassure, but, tommorows success was never gaurenteed

so with this, you couldn't believe your eyes when this same quite, snarky, and anti social boy has no problem lewdly showing off his body to thousands of people online--

as a camboy.

and a very popular one at that. always receiving the most gifts, subs, and views each live, he easily kept his place in the top 10 of the main screen leaderboard. his gap moe is what drew you in. his online persona was sexy, and alluring, yet he managed to keep his mysterious aura from his real life personality.

so you became a regular at this site, secretly watching him every other night at 11:30. you watched as he would undress himself on stream, slowly letting his lanky, pale fingers teasingly run along his ab lines until he reached down to rub his cock that throbbed through his jeans, "50 more gifts and i'll stroke it for you. 100 and i'll moan your name. please hurry, i really want to come to you guys." he teased, biting his lip in anticipation.

you don't know why you did it. but you did. with a small fright of hesitation you sent 100 gifts under a lesser known name of yours, your middle name.

with the sound alert going off, it gave scara the ok to lean back in his chair, open his legs and to start unzipping his jeans. "good girl (m/n)" he slurred.

"but i have a surprise for you all today." he pulled out a cum stopper from his desk and bit his lower lip in pain as he inserted it into himself. but his attempts to conceal was in vain and a faint gasp followed by a soft "fuck-" managed to escape his lips.

"you have to tell me when to cum. i'm under your control tonight."

you continued to watch as he then stroked his cock up and down, starting off slow before speeding up the pace as he leaned back with one arm over his eyes moaning and humming your name. "f-fuck, it feels so good. you feel s-so good. i can't-"

and when his soft moans turned into sensual whins, begging for you to let him cum, you wanted to do more than just watch.

you followed scara in his movements, taking off your shorts to play with your aching clit as you listened to him cry your name, he wanted so desperately to come, but you weren't going to let that happen. not yet.

you watched his mouth hang open out of pleasure as he continued to beg for you to let him cum. "please. please, let me- let me cum for you."

"keep it quiet." you sent with 50 gifts.

he bit his lip to seal off any more words, using his free hand to lean over and grip his desk, causing his shoulders to tense up.

you hated how you enjoyed it. how you enjoyed watching your classmate who's usually so silent, and reserved suddenly become a vocal, moaning mess as he pleaded with you to let him cum. and he has no idea it's you. he has no idea you'd see him tommorow sitting by himself in the back corner.

he had no idea you knew his dirty little secret. but part of you wish he did, because you so wanted the fingers that would pleasure you to be his own. just thinking about it made you release your final breath of moans as you finished on your white bedsheets. you sighed. the fun was over.

"cum for me."

scara finally leaned back on his chair upon hearing the noise alert, removing the cum stopper from his cock that throbbed in his hand. he let out a melodic moan, almost a scream as he finally came. it shot up upon his chest, which would drip down onto his lower stomach

he took deep breaths as he did nothing but bury his face in his hands, letting the thousands of viewers watch the breathless, whining mess you made of him. gifts were being spammed, subs were being increased and the live chat had nothing but praise.

he was definitely way more popular than you initially thought.

"next week i'll have a special guest with me." he finally managed to spur.

exiting the stream, you closed the laptop shut. the words "special guest" lingered in your head as you cleaned yourself up to get ready to bed.

but that night was a sleepless one, as all you wanted was to hear scara's whins taint your ears just once more.

#genshin fanfic #genshin smut #genshin x reader #scaramouche smut #scaramouche #wanderer #wanderer smut #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 6 months

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up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

#Lee says #transphobia m

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thesamoanqueen · 2 months

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Onlyfans

Raiting: 18+

Warnings: smut.

A/N: this one-shot showed up in my mind because of John Cena and me thinking impossible possibilities.

He usually bring it with him all the time, but at home he paid no attention. He had left it on the table to go and do something when the first notification had arrived. Y/N hadn't even looked up from her laptop, too busy with the program sent from Stamford the previous evening and which she was reviewing as always before sending it back to the office. Two minutes had passed and another notification had arrived. Roman hadn't shown up then either, but when the third had been followed by a fourth, Y/N had held out her hand with a sigh. She didn't want to pry, she didn't even want to know, she justs cared about making that sound stop to work in peace and let Roman know of whoever had that urgency to talk to him.

What had appeared on the screen, however, had made her put the laptop aside without thinking twice, pushing her to get up and find out what the hell was that stuff.

She couldn't believe her eyes, it was crazy.

When she found him, he was busy with a box full of old fitness equipments, smile ready as soon as she came into his sight.

- Hey gorgeous – he greeted her and Y/N stopped to look at him, her perfect handsome man.

- Is there something you want to tell me? – she asked, holding back to give him a chance.

Roman froze completely, his gaze serious, back straight.

- whats up? – she heard him ask, pretending he didn’t know or maybe not knowing for real, Y/N at that point was not sure anymore.

- I don't know, should I?! – she immediately echoed him, refusing to prolong that game to place his phone in front of him, the message he had received still open.

Leaving aside what were their habits as a couple, habits that had never displeased either of them as far as she knew, they had established from the first moment they would discuss everything, to be open-minded and fair with their feelings. They had been on a verge of a breakup because of an unspoken nonsense, they had learned from the past and since that moment there had been nothing they hadn't shared, bad moods, doubts, problems, fears. She trusted him, she wasn't obsessed with knowing what, where or who he was with, not even knowing what revolved around him and was proposed to him before, it had never even crossed her mind. She had chosen a man, a good real man, one who wanted a family, with no fear about serious relationship and without warning now she found out an Onlyfans notification on his phone? At home? While she was there working?!

- I didn't mean to watch, there could be anything in there, whatever, but here Ro? For real? and honestly If you have a reason or not, I thought we were better than this- she said, unable to hold back any longer and immediately saw his expression change, an amused smile replacing his worried expression.

- Babygirl, slow down. We got no problem, there's nothing in there I want, trust me. I don't care about that stuff, its shit, I’d never do it when I’ve you – he winked, trying to pull her into a hug, but more he laughed more she tensed.

- ‘kay then what?!

- You know, John did it, an account… boys at work were joking, saying that I should make one too. Locker room chatter, bullshit, sometimes they still get me involved.

Surprised, she looked at him speechless, turmoil quickly slipping away, while his information created a strangely valid picture in her mind about possibilities.

John was a funny dude, strange at times and that stunt had actually made the news. She had seen some clips online, nothing R-rated as one might imagine, but she hadn't connected the two things. And she had never even thought that someone might have thought of doing it, even though she knew of Roman's fame among the fans, rumors, fantasies and the whole package on the most unlikely platforms. In some way it was her job to know what people thought about wwe’s top guy and she played with it to for promotion.

- A real onlyfans – she repeated flatly, staring at him and he gave her one of his billion dollar smiles.

- I'm quite successful, it might work – he joked and she reflexively batted her eyelashes, unable to control herself because yes, he was damn right.

People went absolutely crazy for a few well planted cameras shots, a couple of hits not so family friendly in his ring promos and that salt and pepper in his beard, a video or an entire onlyfans account would not have been simply successful, would have unleashed the apocalypse into the wrestling community. During the production phase, behind the scenes, she too had relied on certain shots, specific set-ups, because she knew they would work. There were things that she too was obsessed with despite having him as her in real life partner. If Roman would have really decided to do it, something direct, focused, if he didn't hold back…

The thought made her turn around, going back without another word.

-Y/N – Roman called her, trying to hold her, but she didn't let him do it, quickly marching towards the front door closet where she kept her purse always ready.

She knew Roman had followed her, sensing heavy footsteps behind her as she walked through the house, but when she finally started to reach for what she needed, his hand tightened around her wrist, physically stopping her from doing anything. He gave her a deadly serious look, his gaze dark as she broke free.

- Y/N it was a bad joke, ain’t gonna happen, don't take it that far – he reasoned, standing there as if no one could move him, searching her eyes.

Those brown eyes that would have made anyone's knees tremble, that had made her tremble too an infinite number of times and for the most absurd reasons, at the right times and not, everywhere, always, from the first moment, without exceptions and that now she saw slowly widen, confused, as she handed him what she had taken out of her jacquemus.

-Here – she offered, her personal credit card ready.

Roman stared at it stunned and Y/N knew she had caught him off guard, because that card never left her purse if he was around, he didn't like when it happened even though she was proudly independent he liked to play the role of her provider. With a deep breath, seeing him froze, she decided to take out the second one, adding it to the first and moving closer to slip them into his pocket.

- Let’s say you can have both, but the show is exclusive – she specified, as if they were really in a negotiation and at that last hint she felt him suddenly explode into laughter.

He throw his head back, perfect teeth showing, eyes crinkling, making every inch of his chiseled face smile.

- Someone woke up possessive – he pinched her when he was finally able to speak again and Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, letting him have that little win.

He didn’t like if someone was too close to her, if someone stared in a way or another, when they hadn't yet been in an official relationship Y/N had witnessed scenes of pure testosterone that would have made anyone run and even today he showed no signs of loosening his grip. She had found the notification of a site notoriously inclined towards certain ratings, messages with it, she hadn't worked entirely on her imagination, but were clearly details his ego ignored, too happy to have caught her.

-If your intention is to keep laughing, I'll take them back – she stopped him, stretching out her hand again to retrieve them, but as soon as she took them off, Roman grabbed her wrist.

- For you the show is free, just ask ma'am

His voice was velvetly soft, as was the touch of his thumb stroking her caramel skin. With eyes fixed on hers, she couldn't hold back a smile, seeing Roman return it immediately when he pushed her against the door.

- Then show me sir – she whispered and he twisted his head, making her giggle before lifting her up.

With legs wrapped around his hips, he carried her to the couch to place her between cushions like a precious thing, a rebellious lock hanging out of the bun. He stood there waiting, hands placed next to her, but deliberately not where he should, his whole body close, but not close enough and for a moment Y/N did nothing but admire him.

He was a charming man, the kind of man who captured attention even without anything special or fancy, he made her hands itch and her stomach flutter like the first time she had touched him and she had no longer been able to let him go. It wasn't just the appearance, but rather his attitude, his attentions, they were a drug, they were addictive and the idea of having them all to herself, having him when out there people would do anything to have a crumb of what she had, it made her feel special, in charge.

-You're playing a dangerous game – he warned her, eyes hovering over her full lips.

-Im pretty sure I can handle it – she replied, her breathing slowing as she saw him bend more.

-I know exactly what you can handle babygirl – he touched her with his nose, with that lock and Y/N felt the taste of him on her, even if Roman had kept himself at a sufficient distance not to kiss her.

From the couch, Y/N watched as he straightened up and grabbed the hem of his tank to pull it up. Her eyes went hopelessly down his body, looking in religious silence at every inch of his torso, as he undressed with unnatural calm. She watched the abs pop out even without oil to accentuate them, broad pecs, dark tattoo that stood out against tanned skin, those lines that she drew with her fingers whenever she could. And then the arms, bent to pass the shirt beyond his neck to which she used to cling, those arms that she scratched as if her very life depended on them, capable of hurting and carrying her around effortlessly, shaped by years of practice and dedication. Her pulse racing, she saw him turn to put away his shirt, showing her his broad back, his sculpted shoulders as he rolled them back to face her and let his hair down. She watched Roman run his long fingers through the messy locks, trying to fix them during that impromptu striptease in the living room, in broad daylight and anything could have happened, someone even broke into the house and Y/N would not have flinched, focused as she was on him.

He was slow, unnerving. What she would do quickly, throwing everything away, he did in slow motion, to push her desire, make her savor everything, drive her completly crazy. Every gesture seemed to require effort, every action was like a ritual, a video wouldn't have done him justice, he was directing a movie and she was the spectator unable to distract herself while his fingers loosened the knot of his shorts to make them hang on the hips. Enraptured, she followed his usually hidden v, focusing on the portion of skin he was revealing and that left no doubt about what was down there. Concentrated, she clenched her legs without hiding, heartbeat racing as he fill the space between them, a dangerous intense shadow on his eyes that made Y/N hold her breath.

- Why you so silent now sweetheart? – he asked, stopping a step away from her, looking down and Y/N raised her head, body tingling as she felt him tower above her.

-Im ejoying it… no words needed – she breathed innocently, reaching out a hand tentatively and Roman bent over once again following the wandering of fingers playing with his lace, tongue running on his lips.

- Hmm no, I think we need a reaction… feedbacks you know, for that onlyfans stuff

His voice, breathing caused another series of shocks through her, the desire to crash her mouth against him, suffocate in one of their kisses, feel his big hands ravaging her now almost unbearable. Roman locked her wrist once more, his grip hard enough to make Y/N throb where she was probably already a mess, preventing her from exploring more than she should, eyes going back into hers, digging, guiding her where he wanted, only where he let them.

-Its good – she admitted without rebelling, unable to concentrate on anything than those two brown pools that seemed to swallow her.

- Just that? – he asked, pinching her face with his hair and Y/N tilted her head, intercepting the trajectory of his lips with greed.

-More than good – she mewed, leaning forward and feeling him guide her to his erection, never breaking eye contact, avid more than ever on having her undivided attention.

- Not enough for me

Under her fingers, Y/N felt his boner awake, hard and she risked something more, a more intense touch, hoping to convince Roman to let her do something, but it lasted just a moment and he pushed her away, standing up straight again to do it himself. Y/N knew what to expect, she knew what Roman was hiding, and yet when he lowered his pants enough to release his erection and took it into his hand, Y/N couldn't hold back a gasp to the mere sigh of his delicious flesh. She saw him so proud, spit obscenely and his smile quickly turn into an arrogant grin enjoying his attentions in front of her who was now struggling to stay still.

Was the kind of show she was sure many people would sell their souls along with their houses for and that even her, despite knowing Roman's abilities, couldn't say was immune. She wasn't immune at all honestly and when he curled his mouth, carried away by the increasing euphoria, eyes still fixed on her, letting go an excited growl, Y/N jumped on her knees.

-Gawd com’here– she moaned sulkily before crashing her lips on him and Roman laughed at her kissing, his hand finally leaving his now tense erection to keep himself balanced.

-That's a feedback – he approved, watching her quickly undress beneath him.

And Y/N might have replied but her body was begging her to put an end to that game, get some relief and before Roman could decide otherwise just for playing around, she pulled him better on top, wedging his brawny body between her thighs. With one hand on his dark locks and the other feeling his cock, she slowly bit his lip asking with pleading eyes and he pushed himself into her palm, tongue ready to invade her mouth. She moaned against him, letting him move his hips, enveloped in the heat of him, in that tantalizing smell of his skin, lost in the exquisite taste of his mouth, until she heard Roman growl and only then she guided him where wanted. None had touched her, neither him nor herself and yet she felt him slip between her juicy folds with ease, in a feral curse that made her cry and pushed him to bite her neck. Holding her hip he enstablished a pace to fuck her opposite of his striptease, messy, rough, domineering, every thrust crushed her down, nailing her mercilessly and making her sweatin agony.

Sometimes she felt like she was a toy in his hands, but she liked that kind of treatment, more when they had already wasted enough time with other games and the thought of someone else wanting that attention was still in the back of her head. She ran her nails down his forearms, marking him, holding on with ragged breath, gasping with mouth open, as he grunted into the crook of her neck, sinking into her dripping pussy in a concert of obscene sounds. And in the throes of her ecstacy, Y/N made her hands roam over his massive back, over his strong neck, even over his ass contracted in the effort to pound her wildly.

She felt a well known fire building suddenly in the bottom of her belly, uncontrollably, like a wave of pure bliss when Roman pushed himself deeper, lifting without mercy her thigh over his shoulder to get a better angle, his balls slapping against her soft skin and she squirmed crying in pleasure. His grip became more possessive, almost to prevent her from run, even though she was now just a weeping mess, folds pulsing and gripping around his dick, heat growing for what was now a marvelous attack until the delirium reached her head.

- R-Roo… ple-aase…

- Ssh come for me… let it go, you wanted it cmon good girl -

One stroke and another, on that sweet lovely spot, his skin rubbing against her hot clit and Y/N closed her eyes, curling beneath him, her mind white, blank and ì mouth open without a sound to leave her soul. She felt him leave a sweaty kiss on her cheek, continue tenaciously to prolong her sensation and also lift her other leg, aiming it in a shameful, vulgar position to conquer his climax now. Stunned by her orgasm, she watched him with passionate eyes, his expression focused, body tense and furious in the last effort and Y/N placed her forehead against his, holding him in place, tightening with a sob around his cock, folds trembling. With all his weight pinning her down, he willingly went for a couple of thrusts, deep, rough, his breathing more and more heavy until it was enough for him too and Y/N pulled him against her neck, feeling every muscle of his thick body tense and his cock twitching until it fills her up.

As always, he got stuck inside her, refusing to come out until he stopped jerking, hands gripping her soft hips tenaciously to keep her in place and only when nothing was left anymore, he freed her, collapsing though against the couch headboard to pull her against him in a sweaty hug, while they caught both their breath. They probably should have rushed to take a shower, but Y/N wasn't in a hurry and he didn't seem to be either, leaving a trail of kisses on her shoulder.

- I was thinking… - she began, sore but with her fingers tracing his arm anyway.

- Gimme ten minutes and we'll do another live

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zhounauts · 6 months

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lowkey ; n.riki

inspired by lowkey by NIKI // nishimura riki x f!reader

warnings: not proof read, cursing, secret relationship (?)

wonder what I'll do when the cops come through, and the whiskey's run out

you had told yourself that you’d stay for an hour at most, yet it was past eleven and your promises to study for your chemistry test were long forgotten as you slam shot after shot.

“YEAHHHHHHHHH!” hanni and danielle scream, just as drunk as you are. you giggle, snuggling closer to your best friends and swaying around like an idiot. music pounds in your ears, and the heat radiating from all the people in the room keep you warm. as you drunkly float around the room, someone passes you a shot that you down quickly. the alcohol burns your throat, and you crinkle your face, slightly disgusted.

as the burn fades, a moment of clarity happens and suddenly you’re very much sober. not only that, but in this moment of clarity, you spot who might just be the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen.

'Cause I've been lookin' at you since half past two Wanna take this downtown? This liquid courage got me way too honest

“who is that?” you ask hanni, pointing at the boy. your drunk friend squints, before descending into a fit of giggles.

“idunno-” she slurs not paying any attention and grabbing another drink. you stare at the boy, and suddenly your sobriety clears and the alcohol clouds your judgement.

“i’ll be back,” you say, without a thought making your way across the room, confidence buzzing through your system. you slow down as you get closer to him, squinting in the dim lighting of the party to try to make out if you recognize him or not. you come to a stop in front of him, and he meets your eyes. you offer him an eye-crinkling smile.

“hey, i’m yn,”

“riki,”

no one's gotta know, just us and the moon 'til the sun starts wakin’

midnight runs to seven eleven, not-so-quiet facetime calls under the covers, and late night playground meet ups were the times where you and riki could fully show your relationship.

no more of the secret looks, lingering gazes, and secret signals that the two of you sent to each other in the hallways at school. so as you lay wrapped up in your weighted blanket, watching through yoru phone screen as riki plays splatoon on his nintendo switch.

“you winning?”

“no dammit! i just died!” riki exclaims, “ughhhhh,”

“aw it’s okay, i still believe in you,”

“i’ve had enough,” he huffs, setting his nintendo switch down, “what are you up to?”

“admiring you,” you wink, sending him stupid finger guns which make him blech.

“i just shuddered,”

“harassment rizz,”

“chronically online,”

“you put up with me still,”

“you know i’ll always put up with you,”

up's the only direction I see as long as we keep this low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low-key (ah, ah, ah, ah)

“hey i gotta use the bathroom,” you tell your friends.

“want us to come?”

“no!” you say a little bit too quickly, you clear your throat, “no no it’s fine, i need to shit honestly,” you lie.

“we did not need to know that,” danielle deadpans.

“yes you did,” you answer quickly, glancing down at your phone screen.

hey come quick

all the guys left already

“i’ll be back before the game starts!” you exclaim hurriedly, dashing from the stands. your phone rings as you run, and you pick it up.

“hey, where you at?”

“on the way rik, i’m not built for long distance running,” he laughs into the phone.

“i’m in that small storage room next to the locker room so there’s an even smaller chance no one will see us,”

“smart as always,” you smile into the phone, “i’m coming in,”

“alright, see you,” he says, the phone call drops as you eagerly make your way through the silent hallway.

“locker room. . .” you mutter to yourself, looking for the door.

“BOO!”

”AHH!” you scream, riki smothers your scream and gives you a boyish grin as he pulls you into the small room.

“holy shit riki!”

“wuss,”

“your wuss,”

“thats right,” he says, pulling you in for a hug.

“good luck on the game, you got this,”

“mm,” he mumbles, “i always got it,”

Take a shot, take a chance, take my hand, boy Tension so intense like an asteroid Be discreet, gotta dodge all the tabloids

“yn?”

“hanni?” you answer your phone groggily.

“oops, did we wake you up from your nap?”

“yeah” you answer, “what do you need?”

“danielle and i are outside doofus, let us in,”

“what?”

“don’t tell us you forgot about halloweekend!”

“oh shit,” you say, “hold up give me a second! fuck—”

“don’t you have a spare key? we can just—”

“NO!” you exclaim, “just wait let me get dressed!”

“yn are—” you hang up the phone, and quickly toss it aside to shake riki awake.

“riki! riki!”

“whathappened?” he mumbles.

“danielle and hanni are coming over. over as in they’re outside right now,” riki’s up in an instant, shooting up from his sprawled position on your bed.

“what?”

“you can slip out the window that's in the bathroom,” you quickly say, “it leads to the back,” he nods quickly following you out.

“i’ll see you later riki,”

“call me,” he mouths, before slipping out the window.

Let's not think too much, there ain't no problems So long as we keep this Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low-key

“do you like what we have?”

“what?” you ask, “what do you mean by that riki?”

“i mean,” he scratches his head, “i was talking to jake today and he said that girls don’t like lowkey relationships like ours. i mean— i just don’t want you to feel like i’m keeping you hidden,”

“riki of course not,” you answer quickly, “ i like what we have and i like this whole lowkey thing. i like that we don’t have expectations or pressure form other people, i like that it’s really just us in this relationship,” riki smiles, and he presses a kiss to your temple.

“i like it to, and i think i might love you,”

“you think?”

“nah, i’m sure,”

Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low-key

a/n

ngl this is the first time i've written in months, this isn't proof read AT ALL i just wanted to post something cuz my account is well uhm, dying!!

pls lmk how this is!

taglist @soobincantswim @k-films

#✰✰✰ zhounauts #k-films #ni ki x reader #ni ki #ni ki fluff #ni ki scenarios #enhypen #nishimura riki #niki x reader #riki nishimura x reader #nishimura niki x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fanfiction #enha x reader #enha fluff #engene #enha imagines #enha #Spotify

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basketballanonsblog · 4 months

Text

A Bouquet For My Love

This is set after Goodnight and Goodbye in the Jihyo x military!reader AU

I'm sorry this feels rushed 😪 but there will be more for this AU in the future

Synopsis: After almost two years, it was time to try and win your ex-girlfriend back

-x-

"Damn girl, you didn't waste any time."

It didn't take long before news of Jihyo being in a relationship to reach social media once Twice's dating ban was lifted.

The leader was thankful for the members' support, but...

"What about y/n unnie?" Tzuyu asked.

There's that.

"The right thing to do is to tell her, before she finds out online."

They had a point.

"Our breakup was amicable. I'm sure she'll handle the news well. Besides, it's not like she waited for me, right?"

No one commented on how it sounded like she was trying to persuade herself.

-x-

You darted around the house as quickly as you could, not even bothering to talk to your brother.

"Y/n! Slow down, we just got back from overseas, maybe you should rest."

You've been away for eight months, and in that time, all you could think about was your ex-girlfriend.

"There's no time. I need to see Jihyo to try and win her back."

Min-jun recalled how you were after the breakup. You drew back into your shell, the spark in your eyes dampened.

But the spark returned.

"Wish me luck!" And just like that, you were out the door.

"Good luck."

He brushed off the sinking feeling in his chest.

-x-

You made your way through the market, flowers in hand. It was surprisingly devoid of people, but it made it less time-consuming to go through. It was your last stop before heading to her apartment.

Turns out you didn't need to go far to see her again. She was holding someone else's hand, and her laughter that once made your heart skip a beat, now made it ache.

Jihyo finally noticed you standing there with a bouquet of her favourite flowers.

"Y/n..." Your knees almost gave out there and then.

You put on a smile as the man introduced himself, even though you knew who he was.

It was awkward and painful.

"My brother asked me to pick up flowers for his girlfriend." No one asked, but you felt compelled to give a reason why you had them.

Jihyo didn't believe you. She almost asked if you wanted to catch up, but the hurt in your eyes stopped her.

She did wait for me.

The guilt became almost unbearable as she watched you walk away.

That's the second time she didn't ask you to stay.

-x-

You became a mess at the bar. You cried while looking on the internet, at the various outlets reporting the official news of Jihyo dating Kang Daniel.

"Y/n you idiot! You should've moved on. She probably thinks you're a fool for waiting." You began a cycle of drinking and demeaning thoughts.

It didn't take long for company to find you. A woman convinced you to loosen up from your sad state.

Even going as far as pulling you up to dance. She laughed at your clumsy moves and impulsively kissed you.

You were immediately taken aback, but you didn't oppose the display of affection. You kissed her back, and it got hot and heavy real fast.

"Wanna get out of here? No strings attached." That's all it took for your hesitance to vanish as you exited the bar.

With the alcohol and lust going through your veins, the bouquet laid where you left it, forgotten.

Merry Christmas again, guys! 🎉

#twice x reader #jihyo #jihyo x reader #twice fic

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britcision · 5 months

Note

this is not in regards to any laws being introduced and i say this as a queer person who was a victim of csa - do you earnestly believe websites putting their foot down when it comes to child pornography and content fetishizing horrifying abuse like rape and incest will lead to "censorship" of innocent queer content? do you believe that with your entire chest? do you not see how you are inherently correlating fetishization of abuse with content of gay people existing? and mind you, i am not talking about content that merely explores these themes, but if you jump to try and include exploration of the effects of abuse in graphic detail with content pedophiles make to get off at the thought of a child being molested and then share so other pedophiles can do the same, what does that say about you? why do you feel the need to mock victims and make straw man arguments no adult actually makes about fiction, and then thusly you are targeting the poorly formed opinions of children who are clearly hurt and terrified to mock them for not fully understanding how to properly articulate what they wish to express? do you not see how none of this helps anyone. you are probably a victim yourself, i know, don't get me wrong. i am just trying to make a point. even if you don't understand, or look within yourself, it doesn't really matter to me. i'm gonna block you and move on because i have better things to do than try to genuinely convince a person with their ao3 username in bio about how they have malformed opinions over the internet lmao.

Because the people who are pushing this law to “protect children” are literally the same ones who are getting gay books banned from schools and getting teachers fired for talking about their home lives should they dare to be queer

Because back when FOSTA/SESTA was passed with almost identical hype about “protecting children”, the only thing that happened was porn bans and queer content being deleted or buried. Including images of two men/women holding hands

Because studies have been done for decades, and these kinds of laws have never, ever, made anyone even remotely more safe; all they do is make tagging a legal liability for companies, meaning you cannot meaningfully filter out fan content that might trigger you

Because putting the onus on internet providers or hosts does not catch, slow, or even hinder the people actually abusing children - it just means that anyone who wants a queer content creator removed can just spam report all their work as csa

Because I actually care about children, and have done the research rather than just believing every single cry I hear of “for the children” - the tagline of every racist and queerphobic piece of legislation since before anyone alive today was born

Because pointing out that “queer content is all pedophilia” is an argument these people will immediately use to destroy queer content is not corroborating that opinion; it’s basic pattern recognition, and pretending that it is anything else is a suppression tactic to stop people from calling out that bullshit

If you actually care about children and want them to be safe, stop knee jerk reacting and start actually thinking. The data’s all a Google away, the studies have been done, and anyone who was even remotely engaged when SESTA/FOSTA passed should have noticed just what that legislation actually did

We have seen these kinds of bills before. We saw what happened immediately after. Criminologists around the world have studied the results: children are not safer. And I care more about that than buzzwords and temper tantrums online

But go off about “poorly formed opinions” defending the exact same game plan that happened literally a decade ago like no one has ever heard of history. Makes you look real noble, totally disguises your judgemental hissy fit as Brave Justice Warrior

#it’s almost like google is free #and you should do research before randomly backing something

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taffywabbit · 4 months

Text

some people were concerned about my joke in this earlier post regarding "putting tape on the fan", so let me just clarify what happened there lol

(this is kind of another computer storytime post, but it's longer and not really a joke like the other one, so i will put it behind a Read More for those who are curious)

ok so basically my computer started making this HORRIBLE screeching squealing noise intermittently back in October. it scared the hell out of me so badly that i just IMMEDIATELY turned off my computer because i thought that shit was about to catch fire. this happened multiple times and i couldn't figure out what was causing it and i just decided to leave my computer off for the rest of the night and open it up in the morning when i could get a second opinion from one of my techy roommates. but then it was just... fine? for a couple days? and i was like oh phew everything's ok i guess! that was really weird!

of course the noise started again, and i determined that it was coming from back end of my liquid CPU cooler, so for the first time ever, i figured out how to open up the side panel of my case and made sure everything was free of dust (it was fine) and there were no loose wires or components brushing up against the fans (also fine). then i took the top off to see if there were any loose screws where the cooler attached to it, and there weren't, but there WAS an inexplicably bent filament in the heatsink

and i was like oh shit! i wonder if that's causing some kind of air resistance sound or something and that's what i've been hearing! so i very very carefully bent it back into shape with a small screwdriver and then closed everything back up and tested it. it did not help. in hindsight it was kinda dumb of me to assume that would have anything to do with the issue, but oh well, i learned lots of things about computers throughout this process

anyways i looked inside the case with a flashlight WHILE it was running and pretty much immediately realized that the problem was very obviously one of the 3 fans on the CPU cooler that was stalling. it only started screeching when it tried to get up to higher speeds, but it was still slowing down/stopping every few seconds and creating a lot of vibration, which was something i COULD deal with while trying to get my work done, but it was distracting and made me really really anxious.

my phone's mic is always really quiet for some reason but you can still see/hear what was going on in there:

i think this was around the point in the process where i looked into fan control software, because i realized they didn't seem to be dynamically adjusting to my PC's resource usage or temperature and were instead just running full blast all the time. (it got SO much quieter after i did that. i can't believe i just dealt with hurricane winds under my desk for a year without questioning it lmao). it was AFTER i slowed their default running speed down a bit that i was able to see the problem more clearly and took this video.

i installed FanControl in the hopes that it would give me some kind of option to JUST turn off that one fan and leave the other two running, because obviously that fan isn't contributing anything to keeping things cool anyways so i may as well just shut it off and avoid further damage to the motors (and further squealing), right? well unfortunately the whole CPU cooler is treated as a single fan on the software end of things, so whatever i do to one fan, i do to all of them. it was still worthwhile to set up FanControl but it didn't solve my issue.

so THEN i did some digging, and according to some forums online it sounded like these 3 fans might at least be wired separately? or daisy-chained off of one set of wires via metal contacts on their sides? either way, it sounded like it'd be possible to just detach and remove the faulty fan until i could replace it, temporarily solving the issue. i figured out how to open up my PC even MORE than before and accessed the rear side where all the cables are kept. this is where i ran into a wall again re: my lack of expertise and confidence with this stuff.

looking at the back of the motherboard, this is what i was greeted with:

the part that's circled at the top is where the cables from all 3 fans (turned out they DID each have their own separate cables) were bundled together into two groups and fed into the back, behind the motherboard. the ones that run across the top to the left are bundled up back here and then feed back through to the front and connect o the motherboard, and the ones running down the right side go to the power supply in the bottom of the case (which i quickly found to be inaccessible because it was protected on both sides by solid metal plates that i couldn't figure out how to remove without breaking anything). in both cases, regardless of whether i could access the actual ports to disconnect them, it was nearly impossible to figure out which cables corresponded to which fan from this vantage point.

after spending a few minutes quietly coming to terms with the fact that i was WAY over my head and not equipped to carry out this particular solution, i closed the computer back up and went online to look for more possible solutions. i didn't find anything, but a piece of info i DID consistently come across throughout this whole process is that computer fans are typically very low-torque (so that they stop easily if anything obstructs them, to prevent damage to wires or anything like that). talking to a few friends about it, i decided i might have the temporary solution i needed.

this is where the tape finally comes in! i used scotch tape and just kinda... folded it around one of the fan blades and attached it to the outside of the fan casing, like a leash.

then, very very fearfully, i turned the PC back on and watched to see what happened, ready to cut the power if needed. but it worked, more or less! it would pull, meet resistance, immediately stop, and wait a moment before trying again. the important thing is that it couldn't get up to speed and it wasn't making noise. so i turned it off again, redid the tape (i don't have a pic of it but i did a much better job of securing it from multiple angles so it was 100% immobile), and it was good to go!

not a pretty or ideal solution, but my computer doesn't make funny noises anymore and still isn't having any temperature issues. if there was anything to actually attach it to then i might use a zip-tie or something instead, but this has been working fine for 2 months and will continue to work for the foreseeable future, or at least until i move and have computer-savvy friends living nearby who can help me remove and replace the fan/cooler.

anyways yeah after going through all of this chronologically, this is DEFINITELY why my computer sometimes turns red and evil and wants to kill me lmao

#buny text #storytime

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canirove · 2 years

Text

Red & Blue | Chapter 40

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“It has started” I say when I feel a drop on my nose. “Do you think we’ll make it back to the house?”

“There is nothing like trying” Mason says, grabbing my hand and starting to run.

My mother had warned us that it was going to rain, that they had said it on the news. But we didn’t believe her since the sky was completely blue, and went out for a run around the Portuguese town where we are staying this summer.

We had been out for 15 minutes when the first clouds showed up, but we didn’t care. And half way through our route, the sky was almost completely black, the thunder starting to be heard closer and closer.

After 5 minutes of running back home, it was pouring with rain, and it was just Mason and I out in the street. The two idiots who didn’t believe the weather forecast.

“I think that if we go through the park, we’ll save some time” Mason shouts, trying to make me hear him over the rain.

But did we cross the park the way normal people do, following the cemented paths? No, we didn’t. We crossed through the grass. The very wet and slippery grass. And we were going downhill.

“Mason, slow down!” I say, still holding his hand and feeling my sneakers slipping.

“Almost there!” he shouts.

“Mason!” I say, feeling my right foot slip away. I grab his arm to try not fall, but it has the opposite effect, and I make us both fall and roll down the small hill.

“Are you ok?” he asks me once he manages to stop us.

“Yes, nothing feels broken. But I think I’ll have some interesting bruises tomorrow. You?”

“Same.”

“We must look ridiculous” I say, starting to laugh. It still is raining, and we both are completely wet and definitely covered in grass and mud, lying in the middle of a park, Mason on top of me.

“I think we look very gracious and elegant” he says with a big smile.

“We definitely do, yes” I say before we both start laughing our asses off.

“Stop, Mason. My tummy hurts.”

“I didn’t start!” he complains, still laughing.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask when we finally manage to reduce our laughs to just a giggle.

“Marry me” he suddenly blurts out, his thumb caressing my cheek.

“What?”

“Marry me. This time for real, properly. With all our friends and family, Nora as our flower girl. Or our rings girl, whatever you prefer. And you can get to wear a princess dress if that’s what you also want, and…”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. I will marry you, Mason. Properly this time.”

“Ok” he chuckles. “We are getting married.”

“We are getting married” I repeat before kissing him, the rain still falling around us.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Oh, dear Lord. What happened to you two?” Mason’s mother asks when she us walk into the house.

“The storm caught us” he shrugs.

“And why does it look like you were doing God knows what on the mud?”

“We were running through the park and we fell” I say.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, just a bit bruised. Oh, and engaged” Mason says with a big smile.

“I beg your pardon?” my mum screams from somewhere before running to where we are.

“You didn’t tell us anything!” his mum says.

“Yeah, well…” he replies, scratching his head. “I wasn’t planning on doing it today.”

“Is there a ring? Where is it?” my mum asks, grabbing my hand.

“There is no ring.”

“What?” both our mum’s say at the same time.

“I told you I wasn’t thinking about doing it today” Mason shrugs. “But there is a ring. Back home.”

“There is?” I ask him. We had been talking about having a proper wedding one day, even checked some venues online and rings I liked. But I had no idea he had actually bought one.

“I saw it one day out shopping with Chilly, it was like one you liked, and I bought it. But I didn’t know when I was going to use it.”

“I…” I mutter.

“Why do you two look like you were fighting in the mud?” Mason’s dad asks from behind our mums.

“Oh, they weren’t fighting, love” Mason’s mum says. “They were celebrating that your son proposed, and she said yes.”

“You did? Finally!” he says, coming to hug us but stopping when he realizes that we look even worse than he thought.

“I think that before we celebrate, you both need a bath” my mum says.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. Shall we, fiancé?” I ask Mason.

“After you, fiancée” he says with that smile I adore.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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linddzz · 2 years

Text

I've been having some Thoughts on how the push to vote in the past has given people the wrong idea of what voting can accomplish but also why it's still something you should do. I'm not gonna try to convince people who are ideologically against voting (though I have some raised eyebrow Opinions on people who stick to ideology over actionable results/goals set in reality that I'm probably gonna end up ranting about here) but I WILL push back against the people who seem to want everyone else to also not vote and get all high and mighty at any mention of voting.

Some basic facts right off the bat;

1) Voting ON ITS OWN will not stop a fascist state

2) Voting will not Fix Everything

3) If you ever approach voting as only going for who you Believe In you will be disappointed. Politicians are not your friends. They are not heroes. I don't even think 99.8% of them are good people. Ideological Purity and politics don't mesh in reality.

4) Our system sucks. It is flawed. You can't change that by voting. You also won't change it by NOT voting and being smug online about it.

5) Voting Is Step 1. It is the LEAST you can do for civic change.

Bold on the last bit for a reason! You can not change the system from within the system, but voting is not the same as say, becoming a cop thinking you can change the entire institution by being "one of the good ones." A vote does not lock you into the system. You can vote and then go flip a cop car over and spray paint a confederate statue. You can vote and then join a co-op for community improvement.

So why vote if it won't fix shit?

Well for one thing it should be noted that there's a REASON Republicans are putting a lot of focus into make it harder for you to vote. If that doesn't set off a little ding then idk what does.

Anyway my view of voting is something I said for the 2020 election; it's a tourniquet. A tourniquet will not heal a wound. If you ONLY use a tourniquet without any other actions you just delay the inevitable, but the tourniquet is the Step One to give you more time to take those actions.

Voting won't stop a slide into fascism but it can help put breaks on. Things suck and haven't gotten better but you can't convince me it wouldn't be so much worse if Trump won in 2020. There would be MORE hyper conservative judges being put in place, erosion of rites would be happening WAY faster. You vote to slow the bleeding down even slightly so you have less of a battle than you would otherwise.

As soon as you stop thinking of voting as "this is how I will make a difference by voting for who I believe in and like" and think of it as harm reduction you can get way more strategic about it. An example from my red state is how a lot of leftists handled the primaries. There's no way someone even left of center or moderate is going to win here. It just won't happen! So for the primaries a LOT of left leaning people changed their voting registration to Republican to vote for the least awful guy.

They were all awful. All of them are harmful. But ONE was an open supporter of Q-anon endorsed by Trump and his goons. A lot of votes went to the one who still had shit views but at LEAST said Biden won the election and made wishy washy noises on abortion (as opposed to loudly yelling about banning all abortion and birth control. It's understood he will still likely vote against birth control, but he also seems to care about appealing to moderates so you can push back at him more). He may switch later but there's less of a chance of that guy going full throttle on overturning voting rights, and it was understood that guy would be less of an uphill battle than the other one. That guy won. I know other people in deep red states doing the same thing.

This also is a state to state thing. Here you can change party affiliation for the primaries then change again for the main election, which is what everyone is doing because we accepted that we'll probably end up with that shithead but we're still going to vote against him because we want it to be clear that there IS opposition here.

There's also local elections which are SUPER important. Every left community outreach org I've talked with or read up on pushes local voting and they're probably accomplishing more than the average online leftist arguing The Ideal Revolution. We GOT here because the right wing is VERY good at mobilizing a voting base and they have spent DECADES purposely starting from the local level up. Q-anon and openly white supremacist groups are targeting city councils, school boards, all that.

Go to ballotpedia.org, look at everything down the ticket. Then look up that person's social media. See who they're friends with. See what they were posting about two years ago. Look at who follows them and who they surround themselves with.

It's boring. It also often just takes me a few hours or less in an afternoon to look it up and vote down the ballot. The president really is the LEAST important part of the vote except for how they can shape their party direction (moreso for Republicans than Democrats. Republicans tend to fall in line with whoever their Top Man is. Because they're fascist adjacent at best and outright fascist at worst.)

Also most importantly for a lot of you lefties (especially younger ones):

Ideology and Reality are often not compatible. Do not trust that a great Revolution will overturn everything and Fix It because a lot of problems are rooted in the cultural, not political. Revolutions more often than not end in such massive death and upheaval that a fascist power just comes in and promises order anyway. Also even if you DO pull off a revolution, the moderates and neolibs and conservatives will still be here. People will still be complicated and won't fit into ideology. And I think it's pretty substantial that so far I only see a whole lot of talk about how the system needs to be torn down but not what could realistically take it's place. People have been trying to make a perfect system of government since we started living in tribal groups bigger than a village. An ideology is good for an aspiration and basis "if I could have my ideal what would that look like?" but reality will almost never fit that ideal, and you have to be able to learn how to not throw out "slightly better" because it isn't perfect.

I am not a politician or political scientist. I'm not a sociologist. I do not know how to "fix it." I don't think anyone solidly does. But I know that just saying "the system sucks I won't participate" doesn't change the system, and could cause greater harm to those who are in more danger from it than me. I hold my nose and vote based on the approach of harm reduction (even a TINY reduction of harm is a reduction). I expect all politicians to be rat bastards, I try to help my community and friends and work towards what I actually want from that level up. The vote is the base layer.

(anyway Robert Evans on Behind the Bastards recently put it really well. He's a half feral anarchist bastard Man who also believes voting can't fix the system or even change much, but he said he still votes because "voting won't cause more harm and there's ALWAYS a chance that I'm wrong about what it can accomplish." Basically if he's wrong and voting DOES make a slight difference, then he is causing harm by not doing it.)

#also im trying to emphasize Republican vs Conservative #bc i ideologically disagree with conservative politics on almost all levels #but i also know people who consider themselves conservative and like. arent terrible fascists.#hey also NEOLIBS ARE ANNOYING AND CAN BE A ROAD BLOCK OFTEN BUT YELLING AT THEM AND BEING SUPERIOR DOESNT CHANGE MINDS #OH MY GOD LEFTISTS NEED TO BE BETTER AT MARKETING AND OUTREACH #YES ABOLISH COPS SHOULD BE THE GOAL BUT IT ISNT REALISTIC RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE COUNTRY IS FUCKING SOAKED #SOAKED I TELL YOU. IN A CULTURE OF SEEING COPS AS HEROES. EVEN IF ITS HEROES IN A BAD INSTITUTION.#BROOKLYN 99 STARTED FROM PEOPLE WITH THE IDEA THAT YOU COULD HAVE GOOD COPS #YOU CAN NOT SELL THE MAJORITY ON 'ABOLISH THE POLICE' RIGHT AWAY #if you see people trying to make it a better sell by describing a system of reallocating funds to social work to reduce the load on police #and you go UM BUT THERE SHOULD BE NO POLICE SO DIE #you help nothing! you arent making that moderate neolib go 'wow theyre right!'#im YELLING OVER THIS SO MANY OF YOU FUCKS PUT IDEOLOGY OVER REALITY #THE MAJORITY OF THE COUNTRY IS MODERATE. THAT IS REALITY. IT NEEDS TO BE ACCOUNTED FOR WHEN FIGURING OUT WHAT CAN ACTUALLY BE ACCOMPLISHED

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dimensions-multiverses-universes · 8 months

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I wasn’t easy for me to be a Muslim and to be LGBT….and a life of confusion….

My name is Inaaya Mukhtar age 12 in a half when in was 5 way long ago I had everything I had Mom and Dad I had my family even friends soon in was getting but I was getting older things took a turn for me…when started everything changed for the world and I thought because it was all to do with us for what we done…but soon in was going to go to term 5 but Covid started and everyone change later on and people were dying there was no hope until they had a cure but soon when we met our families and friends and it was scary coming after lock down and kids in my age didn’t want to do the work or anything anymore and it was that changed it was my mother changed she never reached or helped that much not even hygiene I had to take a shower once a week cause she said so disgusting right? And brush my teeth day or night, and I never do homework since idk I was still 8 or something but I do it now, and she was always on her phone calls to other men even know we were Muslim and this was a bad sign and call for that matter, so later on she started go well a bit more mean towards me she tormented me for about 5 or 4 years and I had disorder eating problems and I went skinny and dark and pale skin and darker eyes and was still confused didn’t speak much until one day I saw tumblr and I was like I liked that fav fandom and so I asked my dad for permission he said yes so he done it I was like yay so I explored around tumblr and they always made me feel better even my online friends and one day I was still but i posted my irl pics of myself and I showed my mum by mistake and she told my dad and I was in trouble….so I stopped doing….and they’re were haters out there we’re cyber bullying and I also I had problems ready since I had deslyxia or whatever but I was still pronouncing word by word since I was slow learner at the time I also couldn’t put conditioner on my hair since my mum didn’t want me too but I do it now, And sooner I had trauma since my mum used to always traumatised me that badly and I always had deep depression and I had suffered a lot of pain and sooner or later we went to squdi Arabia and I thought we had a good time but my mum said she wanted to do Umrah but Nooooo she went shopping instead and I didn’t tell anyone about this but my mum blamed me for watching “P0rn stuff online” even know it was her… I was demonstrating I was scared but we went to Arabia and my mum and dad had a argument of a life time I was really traumatised cause my mom threatened my dad and throwed a chair at him also hit his head or leg or arm it could’ve been anything! But my said to me you should’ve recorded it in the first place on iPad then we will get proof of evidence, but yeah that’s what happened so my uncle and my grandparents came in but before that my mum banged her head on the door like she was mental, and so they were talking in Urdu and my mom was acting like a karen saying that he hit me! Even know my dad trying to protect himself since you were the one tortured us for years! And she said there’s a bruise even know there’s nothing there so she looked at me and she said ask inaaya she saw who done it I mentally scarred for life and I did not say anything everybody left the room except me and my mum she said to me why did I not say anything and I got my bag and was about open the door and she was like u want me to move back to Pakistan and i was like IF YOU WANT! So I slammed the door and you know what my auntie said to me that I couldn’t believe that actually happened my mum was nearly cheating on my dad and she also kidnapped my grandma and they said she crossed the limit so…and me and Amity Blight are the same person, that’s pt1 for yeah are you sure you want pt2 be honest there’s more to this story then you will ever know of…we will get to the LGBT part soon I’ll promise you guys…

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hollowthatfollowssme · 2 months

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✩｡:*•.❁ Welcome To My Blog❁.•*:｡✩

About Me HW: 182-lbs

CW:120-lbs

UGW: 105-lbs

I am 26 y/o college graduate who works full-time. Was recovered for a while but relapsed in 2021 after hitting HW. I am getting married this Spring to the love of my life. I am Gluten Intolerant and have a very sensitive stomach. I love K-pop, fashion, early 2000s TV, cooking, fitness, smoking weed, and anything related to online tea. Absolutely obsessed with trying new diet soda flavors. I have been disordered since the age of 15 and have gone through ana, mia, and BED over the years Proudly Self Harm free since 2018!

What's the Point of This Blog?

When I relapsed in 2021, I discovered pro-ana forums for the first time and I learned that there is a sub-section of proana that is actually pro-harm reduction. I resonated with it because I am not ready for help nor is it an option without losing my job and everything I worked hard for. I feel like I have no choice but to manage my symptoms and reduce the harm to my health the best I can on my own, and I am FAR from being the only person with an ED who feels like this. Many of us have a lot to lose if we seek treatment and that very fact prevents us from seeking help. The next best thing we can do for ourselves is change how we see and interact with disordered thoughts. Instead of starving yourself because you want to disappear what if you tried to slowly and steadily lose weight so that you can do something you always denied yourself, something that you always told yourself you weigh too much to do? I know from experience, that losing weight quick and dirty only makes you feel worse and DOESN'T LAST once you start to eat normally again. Sustainable lifestyle changes are the only way to prevent loose skin, stay on track with a bingeing problem, and keep your metabolism and hormones from going out of wack, (reducing the negative symptoms and long-term health effects of ED.) If you don't believe it's possible, I have lost over 60+lbs while struggling with Bingeing over the course 18 months and have maintained that loss for about 1 year with absolutely no period regain. I went from a US dress size 14 to a size 6 and in the last year that I have stayed 120lbs, I now fit into a size 4 from body recomposition.

How Did You Do It?

1. Address negative thoughts when you can, when you say sweeping statements like "I always mess up" or "Everyone hates me" Challenge those thoughts with facts. Is that really true or does it just feel that way in the moment? Be honest with yourself, not dalulu. Motivation is always coming and going and you can't rely on self-hate to keep you on your diet, people who hate themselves rarely take good care of themselves and stay on track.

2. You don't have to eat low res to lose weight, instead create a proper and sustainable calorie deficit. Use this link to find your BMR and look at the activity level to see how many calories you really burn in a day, most anas underestimate this number. Whatever that BMR number is, subtract 500 calories, this will give you the amount you can eat and still lose 1 lb per week! 3500cals of deficit = 1 lb of loss. 1 lb per week sounds slow but having consistent loss week after week is so healing for someone who has alot of ups and downs emotionally from weight fluxs. If that sounds like you, give slower loss a shot! 3. Stop punishing yourself and find things that you enjoy instead. If you are taking away food to punish yourself or using increased exercise to punish yourself, you are actively sabotaging the only things that help you with weight loss. If you use those things as punishments, you are less likely to want to do them AT ALL. It's so important to find an enjoyable exercise that you look forward to and that relieves stress. Exercise is there to help you maintain your health/weight and using it as a punishment takes all the joy away from it and makes it into a chore you dread and avoid. Instead of taking away food, focus on buying higher quality food in smaller portions, you will find it tastes better and you look forward to planning your meals around those ingredients. 4. Eat high volume low calorie whole foods. Alot of packaged "health" food is just as bad as junk food, they just put a trendy-looking design on the package and the word "natural" slapped on it. before you buy or eat anything you need to be looking at the label on the back. If you want to feel more satisfied with your meals, try to get at least 60g of protein a day and avoid food that is calorically dense especially when you don't have access to a food scale. Try to eat more foods that contain one ingredient and when eating a full meal, try to fill your plate with 2 large servings of vegetables, one serving of protein, and one small serving of a grain or starchy vegetable. This ratio of food helps you feel full and keeps the calories low! If you have any more questions feel free to use my inbox! If you need help to reduce harm and feel like you are beyond helping yourself, please get help from a trusted loved one. Your well-being is worth more than what ever trouble you might get in asking for help. Nothing you did could ever warrant or make you deserve to not live. You are worthy of love and good health and I hope this helps you get a step closer to that.

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butterfirefly · 11 months

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2. Eight Years Ago

“So let me get this straight,” Yoojin began as he stared at his brother over their dining table, his breakfast lying forgotten before him. Well, no. Not forgotten. He was actually contemplating on upending his bowl of cereal over his dear little brother’s head—maybe dousing him with milk would shock some sense into him. “You want to prove to the world that EOs exist. By turning yourself into one.”

Yoohyun had the gall to continue spreading butter onto his toast in slow, rhythmic motions, utterly composed in the face of his older brother’s rising temper. Yoojin itched to whack him with his spoon.

“I’m not gonna stay dead for long, hyung. It’ll only be for a little while; just until you resuscitate me.”

“Oh, I will now, will I?” Yoojin asked sweetly, sarcasm dripping off his words like poisoned honey. “And what makes you think I’ll even let your heart stop beating in the first place? Tell me honestly, Yoohyun-ah,” he said, leaning in close to his infuriatingly serene brother. “Are you high?”

That got him to look up from his toast. “I’m not on drugs, hyung.”

“Then why are you spouting nonsense?”

“I’m not,” Yoohyun said with a frown.

“You finally found a scientific journal about them then?” Yoojin asked sarcastically—they both knew there was no such thing.

Yoohyun clenched his jaw. “An online forum. But this one’s the real deal, hyung. The people there are not some crazy theorists living in their parents’ basements or whatever else you think they are.”

“And how do you know that? Did they give proof? Documents? A video of them succeeding in turning themselves into EOs perhaps?”

“No, but there are—”

“So you’re telling me,” Yoojin ruthlessly interrupted. “You want to try turning yourself into an EO by following instructions you might as well have found on Wikihow? Instructions on how to commit suicide? Get real, Yoohyun-ah!”

“Don’t you want to prove that we were telling the truth?!” Yoohyun exploded, surprising Yoojin with the heat of his words. “That we weren’t just making something up to rationalize what happened because we couldn’t accept reality? That Mom and Dad really were killed by someone with superpowers, and not by some freak accident? Don’t you want justice for them?”

Yoojin was entirely unmoved. “Heck no! Not if it meant endangering yourself. Nothing is ever worth that risk. You’re not suggesting to use other test subjects, Yoohyun-ah—it’s your life you want to put on the line here, and that’s not gonna happen,” Yoojin said with finality. “I forbid it.”

“So, what?” Yoohyun challenged. “You’re saying I should just use someone else and test it out on them?”

Yoojin scoffed. “Of course, not. That’s called attempted murder, baby bro, or outright murder if you fail—which you most likely will—and I’m not too keen on losing you to jail, either.”

Yoojin met Yoohyun’s glare head-on, uncaring that the knuckles of his hand holding the butter knife was steadily turning white—calling him that while acting condescending was sure to incite his docile brother’s elusive anger, but he knew without a doubt that Yoohyun would first saw his hand off before he’d ever raise it against him. Not wanting to rile him up any further, Yoojin sat back against his chair and spoke softly but firmly.

“You know what I think? I think you should forget about other people. Who cares if they believe we made it up? They’re nothing to you and me. And if you really want justice for our beloved parents who took such good care of us—” Yoojin ignored the twinge in his chest when he saw Yoohyun flinch. “I’ll find that freak for you and kill him myself.”

Yoohyun searched his eyes for something—honesty? Resolve? Both were very much present, and Yoojin was only too willing to lay them bare for his brother to peruse—then looked down on his plate without another word. The two sat in tense silence for the rest of the morning till Yoojin was forced to get ready for his class that started earlier than Yoohyun’s, leaving Yoohyun stewing at the dining table. Just before stepping outside their apartment, Yoojin called out to him and waited till Yoohyun was looking at him before he spoke.

“And just so we’re clear, Yoohyun-ah,” he said solemnly, letting him know with his tone that he meant every word. “You do anything to yourself and I’ll do it to me, too. See you after school.”

Note: in case anyone's unfamiliar with the Villains series which this is based off of, ExtraOrdinaries or EOs are humans who have superpowers but are basically the embodiment of the meme "died and came back wrong". Pretty much every single one of them is a sociopath to some degree, much like S-classes.

Next chapter

#can you tell I like moon!yoojin? because I like moon!yoojin very much.#as for yoohyun: I seem to like giving him a different personality till SomethingTM happens that turns him closer to his canon self #bff writes #sclassvicious

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louisisalarrie · 3 months

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People are saying Louis has a grace period where he can’t do/say anything - meaning contracts I guess - but he is saying something. He’s saying he’s not with Harry. Surely if he was under any kind of NDA he wouldn’t be able to comment at all??

I’m not an anti. I would love the boys to be together. I’m just suspicious of Louis’ random out bursts where he does seem p*ssed off at Larry. I mean if he really loves him, wouldn’t he just say nothing? If I were Harry, I think i’d be a bit insulted if my boyfriend continued to make public denials (and referred to it as childish conspiracies) whilst I kept quiet.

Also, is Louis annoyed at Larry in terms of being linked to Harry OR is it more related to the insinuation that Freddie isn’t his and he’s not really denying ever being with Harry?

I know this is a contentious topic but I wanted to ask. No judgement either way from me!

Heya anon! I’m gonna break this down a bit.

Louis’ online presence has been very yikes since the first Bullshit tweet. You could see the moment his Twitter started being controlled in one direction, with how different his content became, interacting with the boys (Harry) slowed right down, and his typing style and tone changed. Social media accounts, particular for influential people with a large following, are ran by PR folks on their team. It means the artist can have a more hands off approach, and doesn’t have to worry about posting marketing content at certain deadlines etc., and it’s the easiest reach to get news spread fast. Now, in terms of how much control an artist has over their accounts, differs depending on their contract with their team.

One Direction were the biggest of the big. And when you have 5 teenage boys with huge accounts, it’s pretty safe to say they didn’t want one of them accidentally posting something incriminating towards themselves, the band, or their team, so, they would’ve had very little freedom on their social media when they hit the big point of their career a bit down the track. However, control is not entirely taken over, as the artist still needs to look authentic. They need to connect with fans, get them engaged, and tweet them back. Then, they get trending on Twitter and that’s a win for them, obviously.

So this kind of social media handover is specified in their initial contract, with subcontracts specifying exactly what and how the PR team and the artist will use it. The artist might need to personally post at least 3 times a week across platforms, for example: one tweet replying to a fan, one promo tweet for their music, and one Instagram post/story that ties into whatever the narrative/promo is at that moment, and the contract might be more lax during the months where there isn’t anything to be marketed. Other than that, the team will take care of everything else. That’s their job after all, to market the artist!

So, what’s the best way to dispel rumours about a conspiracy theory when the people in question struggle to talk about the theory on camera? A tweet, of course! It goes straight out to the fans, spreads like wildfire, gets their name trending, and screenshots go straight to the media. The artist doesn’t wanna deal with the inevitable backlash and chaos that ensues after a tweet like that, so, the PR folks say “let’s try and get them to stop talking about larry, by talking about larry…” which makes 0 sense right? If larry isn’t real, they could just leave it alone. Hell, larry aren’t the only pairing in the world, and plenty of other people who have had theories about them like this have just… never commented. Even when they had a big fanbase of people like larries, who believe that they are in a stunt relationship/have been hiding a relationship with another famous person, they’ve just left it alone.

If you have a watch of the Four Hangout interview, where they are all asked if there are any rumours they’d like to deny, Louis and Harry are dead silent. That was the time to do it.

So I think maybe your question leaves out the contracts and closeting of larry, as you’ve said Harry would be pissed that his man has kept denying their relationship to the public (it has been far and few between, though). I would be too, but he’s not doing it on his own accord. the boys, and many other artists in the industry, have been victims of closeting/het pushes. Even just basic PR stunt relationships, that straight people have, are for marketing purposes. There are narratives in place so these artists keep their name in the media, keep looking attainable to a fanbase with young woman fawning over them, and keep selling records/movies whatever it might be. I won’t go deep into Louis and Harry’s stunt relationships and narratives, but it’s very obvious they’ve been victim to them.

So, two birds one stone, right? Deny a relationship that your fanbase has a theory on, on Twitter so there’s proof and it reaches those fanbases fast, while encouraging the stunt narrative the public sees of you, ticking the boxes above. It’s a quick Band-Aid for now, because the longer they don’t say anything, the easier it is for people to assume they’re together. So a little tweet here and there helps. And, unfortunately, Louis has always been the one in the firing line of denials.

Even in the early days of Larry, back in 1d, I think Harry only did one denial on his own, with niall and Liam. H+L did a couple together, and then @Louis_Tomlinson took the reins. Every larry denial on camera was hilarious, poorly responded to, and was laughed at by the fandom. It didn’t jolt us whatsoever, but when you can’t see the person behind the tweet, it is meant to cause a bit more doubt for us. Did he post this on his own accord? Was it PR? It’s not as easy as looking at their body language and seeing them stutter in a video, and that was the point of moving the denials off camera.

These “ask me anything” tweeting sprees that happen, are for the sole purpose of pushing narratives. Louis ticks off a couple of things on his list each time he does one, which are: talk about F, get rid of larry rumours by talking about larry rumours (it’s an absolute joke, the way they do that hahaha), and promo some new music. He also replies to fans about football and other stuff, but that’s because he always has to keep it as authentic as possible. And he does like talking to us, he just has a couple of obligations during this.

In terms of F and bbg, I believe that’s a stunt so I don’t think Louis is mad about people not believing it, so I can’t comment on that, unfortunately!

Now, NDAs. This term is thrown around A LOT in this fandom, and the actual way one works can get lost in translation through misinformation and overuse of contractual language that confuses folks who don’t have a deeper knowledge of entertainment law and the entertainment industry. NDAs are not a one page contract that states a couple of things that you can’t do, and you just scribble a signature. They are big documents that are overlooked by several lawyers and adjusted/assessed/edited over a long period of time, depending on the importance of why someone needs to sign one. There are already basic drafts for fans/crew who see something they shouldn’t see etc., but they are edited to be specific as possible to that situation, so there are no blurred lines. There are no mistakes. No loopholes. Everyone around the boys has signed one, which I’ve discussed a little bit about before.

When it comes to keeping a relationship under wraps from the public, both parties need to sign a separate copy, often times of the exact same document. But, NDAs are different to other PR and marketing contractual Agreements. NDAs say “hey, don’t talk about this thing or any other of these things! It can’t be leaked! If you do, there will be huge consequences and you’ve broken the contract and we will take all your money and sue you and you’ll never have a career again!”, while marketing and PR Agreements are “hey, so people are talking about you being in a secret relationship, and you’ve signed an NDA so you can’t say you are in one, so we’re gonna give you a fake relationship to help keep things quieter and hopefully dispel the beliefs (which will make it easier for you to not say anything if people leave the topic alone!!) and we can get some good marketing in and grow the band yada yada yada”. Which, they thought would work, but we’re still here haha. So the two can be mutually exclusive for artists like Harry and Louis, but their team will obviously just sign an NDA.

So, my advice is, don’t take everything at face value. Louis wouldn’t want to lose any fans, regardless of what they believe in. And same with Harry. They just have different narratives to appeal to different demographics.

#anon #answered #sorry this is all over the shop #bbg

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weirdcultstuff · 1 year

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It’s like my skin has hardened around me now. If I focus on the bills, on my work, on lunch, on going for a walk, on watching a scary movie, on not thinking about it all, then I’m fine. I used to be hyper vigilant, couldn’t sit with my back to a door, couldn’t talk to men, had to wear this one specific hoodie and hat if I left the house. I felt strong joy often, and intense pain and shame and grief.

I’m not like that anymore. Now I’m a normal automaton. I feel good for a few hours at least, most days. Mornings are good usually, about ten am maybe? When I’m right in the thick of things at work. I’m having trouble sleeping again, I’ll wake up at midnight, then three am, then four thirty, then five. When my alarm goes off at six I’m not awake, it’s like I’m lazy and don’t want to get up but I also just don’t care that I want to stay in bed, so I don’t. I get up, get dressed, drink water, go to work.

I worry about normal things, and it is worry. I feel that anxious feeling in my chest when I think about bills, my career, fixing the car, going to the doctor. It’s like a micro dose of dread every few hours. I try not to think about it. And mostly I’m fine. I can think to myself, “my heart rate sped up, it’s probably the coffee. Just wait it out. Play a different podcast, take some breaths, it’ll pass.” And it does.

I get angry now, which is frickin weird. I have a short temper, not on the outside-I don’t act angry, I’m not mean to my coworkers or anything, but I feel anger in my head every few days when something happens that really slows me down or gets in my way, annoys me. My vision does that little skippy thing and I always want to roll my eyes at myself for being such a child about things.

And the rest of the time I’m fine. Normal. I’m not depressed. I eat my vegetables, I watch shows with my girlfriend, I go to work every single day except the weekends and on the weekends I rest and do chores around the house.

I worry about my parents now, they’re getting older. I can see it in their texts in the family chat. More health issues, more mishaps. My grandparents are getting too old, maybe I’ll never see them again? I teared up just typing that. Mostly I don’t think about them all, and that’s very intentional. I’ll sob cry if I do, and it won’t stop for a long time. It never resolves, I don’t feel better afterwards, I’ve done the therapy things and I’ve written it out and I’ve tried just crying until I wear out but those things don’t work. There’s no way to fix it, so I just don’t go there. I text them back about once a week, and that’s about it. Just send cropped photos of my life. Here’s some food I ate, here’s a picture of a tree, what’s the weather like there? (Please don’t die.)

Enough thinking about that.

Mostly I’m very normal now. It’s weird when I run into people who are Christian or one of my siblings says something super fundamentalist Christian online. It’s like, “oh yeah, people still believe that stuff. They actually believe it, it’s not just a story or a game. Weird.” And then I feel disconnected from them. I used to feel connected, like I understood where they were coming from and could relate to them even if I was somewhere else. Now I just feel somewhere else. I’m like, “that’s weird of you to praise god that you didn’t get more hurt than you just did. Also very weird to be talking seriously about having children before you’re even twenty. But okay. Couldn’t be me lol.” But like it was me once, I was like that. It just doesn’t feel like it anymore. If I go there in my mind, I probably won’t function anymore. And functioning is all there is, in the end. So I function.

I’m always functioning and it feels like each day is just a repeat. It’s fall though, time passes. Wild. Anyway, this whole post looks kind of bleak but I promise most of the time I don’t feel bleak. Most of the time I feel good, some of the time I feel anxious, every few days I get impatient over something which makes me feel angry, and occasionally I have a crying spell because I think too much about my family. That’s pretty much all that happens. And I’ve been doing a lot of listening to horror podcasts and not texting my friends back. So that’s fun.

#also like I’m normal but not normal like my coworkers and stuff #they’ll be laughing and joking about stuff and I don’t connect #I’m there to work and also their conversations are shallow and full of references I either don’t get or don’t care about #I don’t care about scooby doo or that you just learned the basics about Russian politics #it’s not bad and I’m glad they’re having a good time it’s just eh #I don’t connect much with anyone anymore #there’s no time and no energy for that #and I don’t know my star sign or the right jokes about cartoons so idk what to tell ya

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