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shrimpmandan · 1 year

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do you mean you feel alienated around self diagnosed autistic people? (aka 99% of the online autistic community) because if so I completely agree. I'm not sure if you have access to it but I go to public therapy for disabled adulta (if you're over 18) and in my group there is a bunch of autistic/adhd people. we usually talk about medication, funny stories about therapy and experiences with growing up autistic and such. it's pretty relieving, and completely different from speaking to autistic people online, which just feels like talking to neurotypicals

No I feel alienated around autistic people. And people in general. It's for a lot of reasons tbh, not JUST being autistic, but I've definitely have had grievances with the autistic community online for some time now. This is because there's this prevalent idea that what does or doesn't work for one autistic person must be true for every autistic person, which inevitably leads to alienation. I'm considered weird and offputting even by the standards of other autistic people. This isn't an uncommon experience for me.

Also, part of my alienation comes from the general politics of the online autistic community. I call myself Asperger's and high-functioning, which while I totally get why other people don't call themselves that, it's just kinda what I grew up with and what works for me. Also being trans on top of that, and hearing so many autistic people talk about how they personally don't understand gender, whereas I didn't have much of an issue with it (I view it through a strictly neuroscientific lens; I don't do well with metaphors and vague feelings). Being told I can't say "retarded" even though I've been CALLED retarded, not to mention directly threatened (I was nearly shot lmao) over being autistic. A mixture of oppression olympics among autists, and also 'higher-functioning' autistic people speaking over 'lower-functioning' autistic people. My stims also don't get represented much (I don't really flap, I've always been more of a rocker/bouncer/vocal stimmer) and I don't fit into the "good autist" role that a lot of people-- both neurodivergent and neurotypical-- want out of me. All this to not even mention how I get alienated for my other forms of neurodivergence, with people in general being extremely ableist towards those with OCD and dissociative disorders.

All I'm saying is it's not self-diagnosed autists who make my life harder. Not when me and most of my family has had to resort to self-diagnosis due to doctors not listening to us or just a simple inability to even see a doctor due to a lack of money and time. Actually, most of the people I click with are the self-diagnosed "I think I might be neurodivergent" people-- whether that's autism, ADHD, or some other various neurodivergence. The self-diagnosed people are my immediate family, as well as my friends who had to figure out they're neurodivergent because nobody else told them, or gaslit them over it. We're pro-selfdx here, and honestly therapy is the least of my concerns right now, at least when it comes to autism. I don't need therapy for being autistic. I don't need therapy to teach me how to be normal. I need therapy to teach me how to live. Y'know, tackling my ACTUALLY problematic disorders, like my severe OCD and CPTSD and what I believe to be some form of OSDD. ADHD... yeah I just need meds for that, it is what it is. But I've been in therapy SEVERAL times for my autism, with people who were supposedly specialized in it, and even they didn't really know what to do with me. So shrug lmao.

For the record I am professionally diagnosed with autism. I'm actually self-diagnosed with most of the other mental health issues I occasionally talk about here (ADHD, OCD, OSDD, et cetera). I'd LOVE to get diagnosed but we're just not in a financial situation where we can rn. I don't like throwing self-diagnosed people under the bus-- more often than not they're just trying to understand themselves and genuinely don't have the ability to access proper resources. I don't really think of the cringe "faking disorders for attention and spreading misinformation" people when I hear about self-diagnosis, personally. I think about people who have been gaslit and told either that they're weird/bad children their whole lives, or even the reverse where they're told they're gifted, before they begin to struggle and then are promptly abandoned. I went through the latter more than the former.

#anon #asks #tw r slur #this is all okay to reblog btw I'm fine with being open about my mental health #I could've been a lot meaner in this response I have some fucking choice words but tl;dr #I'm pro-self diagnosis. I wasn't bitching about self-diagnosed people. You can't thrust this onto some nebulous boogeyman.#And I don't like when people do that with my personal posts and take them as some way of validating their own opinion.#I don't like other autistic people. Other autistic people have been ableist and alienating towards me. Many of which were diagnosed.#And I don't like other people *period* because I have various other mental illnesses both related and unrelated to the trauma of growing up #in neurotypical society.#Okay? ok

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dykementality · 1 year

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i have said this before but the closest thing flint would have to a job in a modern au would be random one time manual labor gigs because he is a jittery retiree and a professional stimmer. his job is husband and chopper of wood

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nepenthendline · 3 years

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A Characterisation/Writing Guide - Autism and ADHD

Hi everyone! This post is going to be a guide on how to accurately write characters with Autism and ADHD. I have been so many works where Autism and ADHD have been terribly written - using so many stereotypes and just nonsense that has nothing to do with neurodivergences, so I hope this helps educate writers and give them more confidence to write such characters.

For reference, I have Autism and ADHD, as well as many friends with either, therefore this information is coming directly from a neurodivergent.

This guide will be split into three parts: characterisation in both Autism and ADHD, Autism chracterisation and ADHD characterisation. This being because Autism and ADHD, while two different disorders, do have some overlaps.

TERMS:

Neurodivergent - describes those differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal

Neurotypical - describes those who are considered normal and do not differ in mental or neurological function

NOTE - Not everyone is the same. Everyone is different and will act and feel in different ways, this is simply an overview of how Autism and ADHD typically can be characterised

MUTUAL CHARACTERISATION OF AUTISM AND ADHD:

As mentioned before, both Autism and ADHD do have overlapping traits that can make them look similar at times, although it is important to remember they are two very different disorders.

Autism and ADHD are NOT mental illnesses or learning disabilities. They are neurological disorders that people are born with, and cannot be treated or cured. Neurodivergents can learn techniques to help manage their difficulties, however. It is important to note that while these are not mental illnesses, it is very common for neurodivergents to have mental illnesses (particularly anxiety or depression) or struggle with learning as a result of their difficulties.

MASKING:

Masking is a technique that neurodivergents develop in order to act or speak in a way that is ‘socially acceptable’ or neurotypical by observing and replicating neurotypicals in different situations. This includes subjects such as not stimming/keeping still, not saying particular things, following social cues, speaking with specific tones at specific times and so on.

Not every neurodivergent will mask but most do. Everyone does this to a different extent; some mask 24/7 to the point where you would barely be able to recognise any ‘abnormal’ traits, whereas others only mask in more serious or professional situations and let loose around friends or family. It is up to you as the writer to decide how your character will mask, however there tend to be some trends. For example, those with high-function Autism (especially girls) are much better maskers than low-functioning Autism (especially boys).

Masking is exhausting; it takes a lot of effort to, essentially, act as a completely different person for the entire day. This does not mean that neurodivergents are two-faced in any aspect however. Neurodivergents simply tweak their existing personalities to ‘fit in’ with the people or situation.

Masking in writing:

It is quite difficult to write masking as the person is essentially just acting like ‘normal’. However, there are some things you can include that help demonstrate masking:

Adapted stims* that are much smaller and undetectable than a person’s usual stims, such as fiddling with their fingers or edge of their sleeve, looking around often or slight movements such as swaying or playing with jewellery they are wearing

Speaking more or less than usual and with much more changes in their pitch and tone

Slight cracks in a character’s masking, such as stimming when others aren’t looking, not holding eye-contact when speaking, face or tone falling flat at points

*Stims will be explained in the next section

STIMMING:

Stimming refers to self-stimulating, repetitive behaviours that are done to often calm a person down when in stress, or to show high levels of emotion such as happiness. Both neurodivergents and neurotypicals stim, however there are some difference.

The most common examples of stims are bouncing your leg when sitting in a chair, clicking your pen repeatedly or tapping on a table, which are things that most people have done at some point. The difference is that neurodivergents have a lot less control over their stims, and they tend to be much ‘bigger’, louder, distracting or harmful. It is also much more difficult for a neurodivergent to stop or ‘hold in’ their stims, causing more stress and agitation. Some people have small stims like fiddling with their hands, others have much bigger stims like waving their arms around, and some have harmful stims such as scratching or banging their head against a wall.

Stimming in writing:

If you are ever asked to write about how a character would help someone else/a reader with their stimming, please never ever write about the character stopping the other person/reader. This is extremely harmful for the stimming character and projects a view that stimming is bad or ‘naughty’, and many people have faced trauma over being forced to stopped stimming as it is seen as disrespectful or distracting. Stimming is often one of the only ways neurodivergents can clearly express their emotions. If you stop a stim, the person will simply stim in another way. Instead, try these ways:

Stim toys that the character can use, these are often small and discrete, and can allow the character to stim without harmful, loud or large movements

Distracting the character with something else, possibly an activity, something to hold, or audio/visual distractions

Reassure the character that these stims are ok and they are safe to do around other characters

Take notice of the situation the character is in, why are they stimming? Are they anxious? Are they excited? It is better to prevent the situation in the case of stress rather than try and stop the person from stimming, and allow the character to stim when feeling happy

In romantic situations, allowing the character to stim with their partner shows high levels of trust and acceptance, and it is also comforting for the stimming character to often use aspects of their partner to stim, such as playing with their partner’s fingers or hair

Exercise is a great way of helping those who stim often to release pent up energy

Stimmers can trigger other stimmers, so if you have two stimmers in a room together, chances are they will stim together, getting louder and bigger than usual

SENSORY SENSITIVTY:

Both those with Autism and/or ADHD tend to struggle with sensory sensitivity. This describes how people are easily affected by sensory input (sight, sound, taste, touch and smell). Most cases of sensory sensitivity end in distress, fear, panic and overload, however there are some people who feel comforted by high levels of sensory input. When people deal with too much sensory input, they often go into a ‘meltdown’. This is different for everyone, but often includes irritability, panic, shutting themselves off from others, extreme stimming and a feeling of being severely overwhelmed. Some people cannot speak at all during these episodes. while others may shout or make noises. They are often mistaken for tantrums, bad behaviour or just being grumpy. Young people tend to have much more active meltdowns, such as shouting, stimming, running off etc, however older people (especially girls) then to be more quiet, shut off and unable to continue speaking or doing tasks. That being said, everyone is different and anyone can have a different meltdown.

Sensory sensitivity in writing:

The best way to describe sensory sensitivity in writing is relating it to pain or panic. Often those with low tolerance to sensory input describe loud noises, for example, as physical pain in their head, or certain materials as making them feel faint or nauseous.

Sensory sensitivity relates to any sense, so some people may be terrified of certain noises, feel panicked by certain smells or feelings or feel sick/vomit from certain tastes - please understand the severity of this for some people

Neurodivergents often find techniques to help them with this, such as wearing noise cancelling headphones or playing music or audio to distract them

The best way to help someone during a meltdown is to help them out of the situation and leave them to decompress. This might include letting them sit in a dark room for a while, laying in silence or touching an item/smelling something that brings them comfort

Describing a meltdown for a character can often be similarly written like a panic attack, and often meltdowns can lead to panic attacks for some people, such as an increased heart rate, sweating, crying, hyperventilating/heavy breathing etc.

Struggling to write sensory overload? Try and think how you would feel if you had 30 different voices screaming at you at once, with bright lights and super itchy clothing. Really panicked, scared and overwhelmed right?

Those who are sensitive to sensory input often hear/feel/smell/see things much louder/easier/more extreme than others, so while something may be quiet to one person, it seems really loud to another

HABITS AND COMPLUSIONS

Neurodivergences come with a lot of habits and compulsions, somewhat similar to traits of OCD. These are things such as having to have particular routines, having to carry certain items with them at all times (mine are my BTS water bottle and earphones lol). Without fulfilling these habits, compulsions and comfort items, a person can become extremely stressed, panicked and overloaded.

Habits and compulsions in writing:

Writing these can go from very subtle to extreme, it could be that someone has to get ready in the morning in a particular order, eat their food in a certain way/order or follow a particular route to get somewhere

The odd thing is that neurodivergents are actually pretty bad at developing habits, a neurodivergent could do the same thing over and over every single day, but completely forget to do it one day and never do it again

When writing for characters, some characters may be able to mask their distress when their habits/compulsions are not fulfilled, however others can not do so at all, but either way this sends the character into feeling of panic and distress

A character may develop certain habits/compulsions for different reasons, it could be from experiences, completely random, comforting senses or familiarity and fear

For example when walking into my nearest town I have to walk a very specific route on a specific side of the road or I freak out, this is because it’s what I’m used to and I struggle to deal with change

Speaking of change, a character can be written as anxious or irritated when plans are changed

SPECIAL INTERESTS/HYPER-FIXATIONS:

Probably my favourite topic - neurodivergents often develop special interests and hyper-fixations. These relate to specific subjects or activities that a person will learn about or engage in with extreme focus and dedication. Some common examples are trains and butterflies, where a person will learn and memorise every type of train, or every type of butterfly to exist, and how different trains work or the life cycles of butterflies. This can be of any topic though, as a child my personal special interest was Ancient Egypt and I spent all of my free time learning about the history. As I’ve gotten older, this has changed and my hyper-fixations have been mostly BTS and Haikyuu (with some short ones in between).

Special interests/hyper-fixations in writing:

Info-dumping! Characters with special interests can often be written with moments of info-dumping, where they will talk about their special interest for a long period of time to someone else. They are often very excited, talk quickly and possibly even seem a little frantic when trying to explain their interest - this is something they have little control over and tend to talk for too long or at inappropriate times

Stereotypes are often written in special interests, particularly the example I gave about trains - not every neurodivergent likes trains, please be creative when thinking about what special interest your character may have, if they have one at all

A character may have one long-standing special interest that they’ve been learning about for many years, or they can flutter between multiple hyper-fixations in the span of a few days

Hyper-fiaxtions can affect a character in ways such as forgetting to eat or sleep, forgetting to do other commitments or becoming extremely upset, stressed or unmotivated when that interest is no longer doable (such as if a TV series ends)

Some characters may be embarrassed about their interests, whereas others will happily info-dump with no concerns

FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Both Autism and ADHD can cause difficulties in making and keeping friendships or relationships. This is often due to struggles in communication, forgetting to speak to people, getting bored of social interaction, getting overwhelmed and feeling too ‘different’ from everyone else. Some people, however, can make friends every easily, particularly more extroverted and confident types. Autistics in particular tend to have small groups of friends that they feel truly comfortable with, and may struggle to understand why a person needs other friends/ a large group. This can lead to feelings of ejectment or jealously. A neurodivergent will often struggle to know how a person feels about them without being directly told, and will need frequent reassurance that this feeling is continuous.

AUTISM CHARACTERISATIONS

Talking too much or very little - about 40% of people with Autism are mute, meaning they cannot speak. Characters could also be selectively mute, meaning they can only speak in situations they are comfortable with, or certain people

Autism is a communication disorder, majorly affecting a person’s ability to communicate and understand socialisation. Here is how to characterise Autism:

NOTE - I have used functioning labels here as, personally, I prefer to use them and is more often used where I am from, however some people prefer not to, please keep this in mind

Speaking out of turn - this is either because they do not understand the social cue of waiting until someone else has finished to talk, or because they will forget what is on their mind if they don’t say it immediately

Taking jokes or words literally - this can cause character’s to become distressed when they do not understand a joke, or end up doing a task that was not meant to happen because they took a conversation literally. This also include having difficulty understanding figures of speech such as ‘it’s raining cats and dogs’

Having difficulty understanding the rules of social interactions - this covers a range of things, from struggling to know what to say when speaking to a cashier at a store, to not knowing what to say in certain situations. An example of this is if someone said ‘hi, my name is ....”, the social cue is to respond with ‘hello, it’s nice to meet you, my name is ...”, however those with Autism tend not to understand this and may reply with something else. In my experiences, I often panic and say ‘thank you’ instead, despite this not being the ‘correct’ reply

Expressing the wrong emotions - Autism makes it very difficult to understand emotions, either from others or expressing them yourself. While others immediately know a smile means someone is happy, this is not something that is easy to understand in Autism. An autistic person may laugh or smile during negative situations, or look upset or mad in happy situations as they are either unaware of how they are carrying their body language, or simply do not know what body language fits with what emotion

Difficulty understanding emotion of others - whether it be verbal or non-verbal, it can be very difficult for those with Autism to understand what others are feeling and can often jump to the wrong conclusions

Using the wrong tone of voice or having a ‘robotic’ tone - For the same reason as the last point, those with Autism tend to either sound robotic at times, or use the wrong tone in the wrong situations, such as sounding angry when they are not, however they are often unaware of this when it happens. This also means they tend to be more blunt and literal in their own speech

Not understanding hints - those with Autism often need to be spoken to very directly as they struggle to understand hints or ‘read between the lines’. This could be anywhere from not understanding hints of romantic feelings, to someone mentioning that the trash is getting too full (as a hint that it needs to be taken out)

Difficulty with focus and following lists - this is an overlap with ADHD however the reasoning is often different, autistic people are often perfectionists, so if you give them a list of things to remember, they will focus so hard on remembering the first thing correctly that they forget the rest. Difficulty to focus is often due to a lack of interest in the topic

Attention to detail and ‘all or nothing’ - Autistic people are great at paying attention to small details and often focus on that more than the big picture. They are also very ‘all or nothing’ with how they delegate their focus, if they are interested in something they will put their entire energy and focus into it until its perfect, if they aren’t interested? They probably wont do it at all, this often means that some Autistic people struggle academically because they don’t feel interested in the topics, and therefore have no motivation to do the work

Great at following rules and instructions - despite being bad at lists, Autistic people tend to be good at following rules, this is because they are often black and white, literal and easy to understand, they like structure!

Increased skills and abilities - those with autism are often more creative and intelligent in a wide variety of skills that neurotypicals, in fact to be diagnosed with high-functioning autism, you must have a higher-than-average IQ. Unfortunately the stereotype is that Autistics are dumb or stupid - this is not the case at all

Boys vs girls - everyone is different, however boys and girls tend to act very differently. Boys tend to be more extroverted and loud and particularly struggle with understanding emotions or talking in turn. Girls tend to be more introverted, quiet and can mask much better, but struggle more when knowing if it is acceptable to speak

No empathy? - this is what people often relate to Autism, however this is inaccurate. People with Autism can and do feel empathy, however it tends to be slightly different. For example, if a neurotypical told another neurotypical about a bad situation they went through, the other person would often reply with ‘I’m sorry that happened to you, I hope you feel better soon”. A neurodivergent, however, would often reply like this, “something similar happened to me once.....”. This often comes across rude to neurotypicals, however it is much easier for a neurodivergent to relate the person’s feeling to their own experiences, and share comfort by letting the person know they are not alone

Difficulty with eye contact - good body language often explains that eye contact is key, however this is extremely difficulty for neurodivergents

Forgetfulness - to be honest I don’t know why this is, autistics are just really forgetful. You need to repeatedly tell them to do something or they wont do it

Planning - autistics often need and enjoy planning their schedule. They find comfort in knowing exactly when, where and how things are happening and with who

Shyness and introverted? - many autistics will be shy, introverted and struggle with social anxiety, but this is not the case for everyone. A person can be autistic and be super confident, loud and extroverted - it is a stereotype that being autistic makes you shy and quiet

REMEMBER - AUTISM IS A SPECTRUM DISORDER MEANING PEOPLE CAN RANGE FROM MILD TO SEVERE TRAITS, NOT EVERYONE WILL HAVE EVERY SINGLE TRAIT

AUTISM STEREOTYPES:

Everyone likes trains

They are rude and blunt

They are stupid/unintelligent

They cannot understand rules

They cannot feel empathy

They are quiet and shy

They are disruptive

AD(H)D CHARACTERISATION

ADHD is a condition that affects the focus and attention of a person. Here’s how to characterise someone with ADHD:

Not everyone is hyperactive - firstly, the ‘hyperactive’ part of ADHD doesn’t often mean physically hyperactive, but a person can have ADD where they do not show hyperactive traits

Difficulty focusing - this is much more than just not being able to focus, there are many reasons as to why this is, including getting distracted easily (by external sources or their own thoughts). finding it difficult to understand social interactions, feeling overwhelmed

Hyperfocusing - on the flip side, ADHD can cause people to hyperfocus on certain things, where it takes all their time and energy and they forget to do other things such as eat or sleep

Difficulty with eye contact - good body language often explains that eye contact is key, however this is extremely difficulty for neurodivergents

Difficulties controlling emotions and mood swings - this is often comes out in anger and frustration. This can be for various reasons: they are frustrated that they cannot focus like others, a lack of motivation, get easily stressed and insecurity

Restlessness - this is often seen as being always ‘on the go’, they need to be busy at all times doing different activities. In writing this can be shown as excessive talking, fidgeting, getting bored easily or taking risks

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - this is an emotional response to rejection or criticism which often looks like insecurity and anxiety. This could be real rejection, or perceived rejection, for example someone saying they are too busy to hang out may trigger an emotional response of rejection, low mood and anxiety in someone with ADHD. This can also lead to anger or panic, and causes people to become ‘people pleasers’ or not try at all

Poor organisation - the opposite of Autism where those with ADHD struggle with planning, organising, misplacing items and keeping things tidy. It is difficult to understand priorities, separate relevant and irrelevant information and time management. Those with ADHD often begin tasks and do not finish them due to restlessness, distractions or feeling overwhelmed by the task

Difficulties starting tasks - ADHD can make it very difficult to begin tasks as they feel too overwhelming, difficult or take too much focus. Breaking down tasks into smaller sections can help this a lot

Forgetfullness - out of sight, out of mind is often the case with ADHD, and so things like post-it notes and reminders can help people remember things they need to do

Multiple thoughts at once - neurotypicals tend to only have one thought/idea in their head at a time, however those with ADHD often juggle multiple thoughts which can lead to distraction and frustration

‘All or nothing’ - Those with ADHD tend to be ‘all or nothing’ with how they delegate their focus, if they are interested in something they will put their entire energy and focus into it until its perfect, if they aren’t interested? They probably wont do it at all, this often means that those with ADHD may struggle academically because they don’t feel interested in the topics. Unlike Autism, they tend not to focus well with repetitive tasks as this lacks simulation

Medication - unlike Autism, ADHD can be helped with stimulant medication that allows them to focus a bit better. This is not a cure as ADHD cannot be cured, however it can be beneficial to some to help manage their struggles

Acting without thinking and being impulsive - to find some stimulation, those with ADHD may act without thinking of their consequences, or can engage in risky behaviour as other avenues may seem boring, please note this is not the case for everyone, and these ‘risks’ may be very mild like trying a new flavour of ice cream. They can act impulsively too and struggle to wait their turn

Communication difficulties - while ADHD is not a communication disorder, it can have affects on communication such as talking out of turn, starting conversations at the wrong times, being insensitive to particular topics or getting too distracted to focus on the conversation

Need reminders to take care of themselves - due to a mix of hyperfocusing and not focusing well, those with ADHD may often forget to do things such as eat, drink, sleep or shower

Quite easy to get their attention - when someone with ADHD is daydreaming, getting distracted or not focusing, it can be as simple as giving them a tap or a smile to bring their attention back to the matter at hand, even if these needs to be done multiple times

Rewarding behaviour - this technique works well as rewarding good behaviour releases dopamine, which is the hormone often lacked in those with ADHD, this allows people to connect activities and behaviours with positive feelings and are more likely to do it again in the future

ADHD STEROTYPES:

ADHD is ‘diet’ Autism

Those with ADHD cannot sit still

They are disruptive

Everyone with ADHD is hyperactive, loud and extroverted

#autism #asd #adhd #writing #neurodivergent #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyū!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #Fanfiction

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collabwithmyself · 3 years

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While stalking your blog, I have been beginning to question if I should see a doctor about have adhd... Then I looked more into it and now I'm almost positive I have it. But I don't know what to do with this information.

You should definitely see a doctor if you can! They can get you professionally diagnosed, which means access to medication and medical advice that can make your life easier. I also suggest looking into coping mechanisms for symptoms like rejection sensitive dysphoria and consequence blindness, as well as ways to safely stim if you're a stimmer. Some blogs centering around ADHD I personally find helpful that you can check out are @adhd-alien and @thatadhdmood!

#tiredlizard52 #collab answers

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stimtoybox · 6 years

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do you have any suggestions for stim toys for someone who's very hands on but suffers from chronic wrist pain? i love tangles and such but it hurts to fiddle with after a while

It would be embarrassing for me if I can’t help you here, as someone with chronic thumb/finger/wrist pain who prefers to stim with hand-held/manipulative fidgets. (Are you my long-suffering soul twin, anon?) There are options, I promise you. It may take a little experimentation to build the kit and find the method that best suits your needs, and you may not be able to use toys as freely as you like, but you will be able to stim.

I have a lot to say on this subject, so I’m going to spread it over two posts. I’m going to start with a little pain education, based on my lived experience–eight years with chronic hand/wrist/finger pain. I don’t see it talked about much in ND and stim communities, but given the risk of stimmers developing RSI injuries, it should be more common a discussion. Skip this part if you don’t need it; in the second post (tomorrow) I’ll talk about the toys in my kit and how I use them.

Also, I’m tailoring this towards stimmers with chronic pain, but I believe all behaviours here–in terms of diversity of stim kit and alternating toys–are best practice stimming for every stimmer. Stimming, particularly of the fidgeting and manipulative sort, is work. It’s exercise–you’re moving the same sets of muscles over and over. Just as you should stand up and walk away from the computer every hour, and take breaks from school or work, you should break up your stimming in the same way. I honestly think it’s extremely dangerous to not see this discussed, especially on therapeutic/toy vendor sites. It isn’t safe to use a Tangle Jr for five hours straight. It just isn’t.

Following these principles, even you don’t have chronic pain, will help stop you developing chronic pain from RSI injuries. Anon and I can tell you that stimming with chronic hand pain is the worst, particularly because it doesn’t just stop you from stimming–it stops you from a heap of other things society takes for granted. I’m talking everything from signing your name on a form to pouring a glass of water. I start my day in pain because I can’t hold a light plastic cereal bowl without my wrist aching; imagine having to stim on top of that!

For any stimmer for whom stimming is a chronic pain trigger while also being a fundamental necessity, I absolutely and unequivocally recommend getting the biggest, broadest, most-diverse stim kit your wallet will allow you. This is not a situation where you try and pick the most-used toys or be economical about the space your kit takes up. Get all the different toys, anon, because having different toys that I can use in different ways to cycle through is instrumental in my being able to stim in the least amount of pain. For stimmers like us, it’s not just a bit of fun in showing off all our different toys online or changes in sensory experience–it’s a pain management technique. Switching, regularly and frequently, allows me to keep using the Tangles I love.

(It’s why I do like to explore cheap eBay and K-Mart options, to try and make it a bit easier to have a large kit.)

When you have collectetd all the toys, keep them in a big basket or box, something you can keep at your side (at least inside the house or your own backyard). Even when travelling, make sure you’ve got few different toys on your person. Having them right there is for me the biggest difference in overcoming the tendency to grab one toy and stick to it.

This is to make it as easy as as possible for you to switch, frequently and regularly, between different types of toys. Toys harder to cycle through like kinetic sand and slime spend more time in my hands, but most other toys get used for minutes in the single digit, sometimes only seconds, before the switch. If you need to set alarms on your phone to get you in the habit of switching toys, or ask someone to remind you, do it. This habit is hard to build but so worth the effort.

You may have had this sort of pain education already in terms of pacing and breaking up activity, but the goal is to switch toys before pain flares/increases if possible, not after. You may have varying baseline periods of toy use before pain starts/worsens, but this is another thing to track if you can–how long you can use any given toy, pain-free/in less pain, before pain starts. Then only use the toy for half that amount before switching. Depending on the nature of your pain, you can gradually start to extend how long you use each toy for, rather like exercising–I can use a Tangle Jr for much longer now than I could with my first Tangle. (Only being able to use this fabulous toy for thirty seconds at a shot was heartbreaking to start with. Now I can get up to several minutes.) But when starting, the trick is to develop a rhythm that keeps you well short of provoking pain flares/worsening your pain.

The main goal with switching is using the toys you love alternated with gentler ones so you can vary the movements you make. Swapping a Tangle Jr for a Twiddle if you use them same way won’t help you, so you need a diverse kit for this sort of stimming. I say this because not using a Tangle is not possible for me. I can not use a Fidget Cube reasonably easily–another pain trigger for me–but a Tangle is my favourite stim. I need it. So for me it’s about keeping the stim toys I love but alternating them with ones kinder to my hands–particularly other toys that allow me to rest my hands.

In my case, it’s gripping, twisting and firm pressing movements that trigger my pain. Brushing, rolling and stroking movements are less likely to do so. Depending on the nature/cause of your pain, this might not be the case for you, so I recommend thinking about how you’re moving your toys when the pain flares/worsens. For me this is less difficult because I’ve relearnt stimming after my chronic pain was well and truly established–I’m not sure I could observe my triggers in the same way if the pain came after my stimming habits were established. Try as much as possible, because it may be that you can use some pain-causing toys in ways that don’t trigger your pain or take longer to do so. (I’ve learnt that I can use a Tangle for longer, for example, if I don’t twist it hard.) It’ll also help you more effectively choose the toys you should be rotating through.

Lastly, make sure to give yourself no-hand-use breaks. Stomp your feet, breathe in something scented, go for a walk, do other stretches or exercises, kick a ball, lie under a weighted blanket, watch stimmy GIFs or videos, whatever works for you. Just don’t use your hands at all. Even five minutes every hour of no-hand-use can and will make a difference.

To summarise: when fidget stimming with chronic hand/wrist/finger pain, make sure your stim toy kit is as broad as possible, develop a sense of how long you can pain-free use each toy for, switch between toys well before that pain-free use ends, and pay attention to the kinds of movements that trigger your pain. While this is a necessity with pain, all of this is important and useful for any other stimmer, because you should be taking regular breaks and alternating high-movement toys with low-movement or different-movement toys.

I’m aware, anon, that you may not need anything I’ve spoke about above, because it’s very much Pain 101. (And oh does it get tiresome to have pain professionals talk to you as though you never thought to implement the obvious.) I’m using your ask as another opportunity to get on my soapbox about this subject because I think it’s a conversation in need of having, but if you don’t need this, please skip this post and wait for me to start on toy recommendations. I’ve got another post in the queue for tomorrow!

#anon #ask #discussion post #not a toy #stimming discussion #stim toy how to #chronic pain discussion #stimming and chronic pain #long post #very long post #stimtoybox #stimming safety #stim toy safety #mod chatter

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venty-times17 · 6 years

Text

An Updated BYF

Hello and welcome to my page! All I ask is for you to read this little spiel I’ve concocted before you follow me. This includes some stuff about myself on a personal level alone with some page guidelines.

About Me

I go by CHARLIE

I use any pronouns, but I prefer SHE/HER.

I am ASEXUAL and currently in a relationship.

I am very open to converse with you when needed. MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

I am professionally diagnosed with MODERATE MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, A SEVERE PANIC DISORDER, POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, and SHOW TRAITS OF OCD.

I am self diagnosed with BORDERLINE OR DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER (unsure which).

My self diagnosis list is updated when I feel strongly after much research that I have this thing.

I suffer with chronic pain in my knees and hips along with IBS and chronic migraines.

I also have fainting/dizzy spells.

I am a big photography and art person. Feel free to inbox me and ask for my art account.

I love purple aesthetic and get really excited when people send it to me!!

Sunflowers? Also an aesthetic. Please.

I have verbal and motor tics due to how severe my anxiety is.

I am an active stimmer.

I’m learning five(5) languages currently(Korean, Japanese, German, French, and ASL).

I’m learning how to play guitar.

I LOVE OVERWATCH!

On a more depressing note, I have endured sexual assault on more than one occasion, stalking, physical and emotional/verbal abuse. Please bring these topics up with extreme caution.

BYF

Please no NSFW blogs. You will be blocked.

No racial/discriminatory slurs at all on my account.

This is a safe space but I rarely use TWs because this is my venting place. If you NEED a TW let me know.

If you think you know me personally PLEASE do not give out my blog to people and ask before you follow me.

#actuallybpd #actuallyptsd #bpd #actuallyocd #actuallydependent #actuallymentallyill #actuallyborderline #borderline personality disorder #depression #ptsd #mental illness #actually mdd #byf #about me

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pkmntrainergreyze · 7 years

Text

Hitman for Hire (Gerard Way Imagine)

A/n: Thanks for the notes you guys. I’m sorry this was late, I realized just now that this imagine wasn’t posted in months now ;-;

(Okay I’ll stop with the ;-; ‘emoji’)

I’m not sure if I could update more, since examinations near. Wish me luck guys, algebra is killing me.

Anyways, Enjoy

————————————-

“Agent Way you’re not supposed to do that…” I felt the words trailed off before I heard a loud bang! coming from the now cold lifeless business man. He was corrupted to begin with anyways, just in it for the taxes of the nation. Agent Way smirked “Who cares?”, the ‘a’ in the word 'cares’ dragged longer. How immature can this excuse of a man- no, a hitman get?

“We’re supposed to eliminate him by a stab-” He placed his right index finges in my mouth, his mouth formed an 'o’. “Shhh” rolling my eyes, I placed my pistol back in the bag with a groan. “Agent Dun will be as done as his name, don’t you feel bad for him? He hacked the cameras just for us to properly elimate him?” I want to ask do you have any conscience at all? but I guess not.

It’s his turn to roll his eyes. He placed his hand in his waist and dang, He’s so slim after all the years of working out in the agency huh? “We can always fake his death, Agent (L/n)” does he actually think that reassured me?

He’s always the laziest man on the job- going for his pistol. I wish he would just pay attention to the files.

Every man avoids to be his partner- even Agent Toro! The most patient one in our organization. He is so notorious for this behavior. Although he’s the most brutal one at the group, I mean, one time he killed twenty men with just a sharpie, stabbed a man with just a toothbrush, instant death, he’s not exactly the most obedient one.

“We?” I scoffed, avoiding his dependent gaze. He poked the dead man and took it as a sign of death. He can’t make me do stuff! What is he? My boss? All I remember is that Mr. U’s our boss.

He didn’t seem to listen. He grabbed the nearest ballpoint pen out there and blood spurted out even more, scattering down the carpet.

“If you have your DNA there I swear…”

“Shush! I have my gloves ya know?”

“And a hair net?”

“What kind of f*cking hitman wears a hairnet?” He retorted, his glare practically sent to my direction. Well, it was a stupid question but I just tried to bulge his strong built confidence.

I mean, he has long greasy hair that looks badas-

Nope! Avoid those thoughts! You are a hitman (Y/n) (L/n)! A hitman! No relationships!

Gerard’s hair strands flew from when he blew it, his hands found it’s way to tie down the man, a bit too tight to make it seem like it was long there. The bloody ballpoint pen and gloves was already disposed in a ziplock bag.

“Let’s go?” He asked while walking out the door. I grumbled lightly when he kissed my cheek before he left, so I couldn’t help it, I hate how this man makes me feel a bit too odd.

After a bit of traveling- okay, maybe not a bit, but we traveled passing by five cities. Entering our office once more. Mr. U stood there, stimmering, his feet tapping wild like constant raindrops and his face as red as tomatoes.

“Agent Way and Agent (L/n)!”

Crap, this is why I hate working with him. Why did I have wake up late that day? I could have been partnered with Agent Iero.

I mean, it’s always fun and games with Agent Iero.

His hand clenched to the metal bar as the boss spoke. Fumbling to make his voice clear as he took a step forward, stumbling on his way in front of the door. I sighed and walked in a straight body and a chin up head. Remaining professional is always part of the job, one wrong move means one wrong bullet down your skull.

Mr. U, the man with his forehead as large as his name, which is pretty darn known around this world, he’s the sh*t, and even a bigger one when he’s mad, he is right now, unfortunately in front of me.

“Gerard…” His voice vibrated slightly and Agent Way stiffened. Mr. U would always use an agent’s real first name to threaten them, and now I’m witnessing the hundredth time he’s spoken his.“We do not play around in this job…” Agent Way slightly smiled.

“And (Y/n) you swore to take care of him” His eyes as peirce as an iron sword I laughed nervously. “I know Mr. U but Agent Way here-” I sent Agent Way the same dirty look.

“Doesn’t like to follow orders”

“Well” Mr. U smirked, arms crossed before we walked towards us. “this room doesn’t have to be dirtier and redder than this, isn’t that right?” he tapped and held one of of shoulders, it hurts, he grips it too tight, but I knew I deserve it. “Agents?”

“Y-Yes sir!”

“Yes sir”

“Good” He sat back to his comfortable, probably five star, seat, his elbows on the chair’s arm and his feet crossed in the glass table. “I have another mission for the two of you, don’t f*ck it up” he tossed files beside his feet, with a picture of a bald man attached to it.

“Make sure to follow what’s written” I think that was mostly directed to Way. “I think that is your specialty Agent Way” He grabbed the file with interest and flipped the pages.

Korse (Name Unknown)

Age: 51

Description: Rumored to be a big drug lord in town. Corrupt. He had finished mastering law. He lost his mother at a young age.

Prefered cause of death by the client: “Kill him with a shot in the right temple, I heard he’s going to go to a comic convention next Tuesday, wear killjoy outfits. There are no CCTVs in the building yet, it is brand new, I beg you, kill him for me, I’ll pay a bank full.”

Agent Way smirked, I didn’t read all the details, I just skimmed to the important ones. You see, I don’t like killing people with no wrong deeds, that’s probably the reason why Mr. U preferred if I handle the job.

“Agent Stumph and Agent Wentz will join you on eliminating the target, are you up for it?” Mr. U asked after removing his legs on the table and his closed fists replaced the position.

“I want to do this alone with Agent (L/n) if you don’t mind? Oh, and I want the Party Poison costume” I stared at disbelief. No way in hell, okay, wrong statement, Way better stay in hell.

“I’ll have a rearrangement” Mr. U looked at my direction. “Is there any request?”

Knowing Mr. U, he wouldn’t let me change his mind, I shook my head.

Looks like I’ll have a long night with Agent Way-or should I say, Party Poison. More like a night alone, and an elimination happening single-handedly.

—————–

We arrived in the God forsaken place, it was a pretty lit party, I think, well it won’t be lit without cocaine on the carpet now wouldn’t it? I stared at the floor in disgust. Looks like there will be blood on the dance floor.

And no, this was not the place me and “Party” was supposed to go, someone (you-know-who) got us lost like mad cats.

Did I also told you I’m wearing (KJ/n) costume? It so happens to be Party Poison’s love interest, courtesy to Agent Way and Agent Iero for encouraging Mr. U to do this.

I groaned lightly, I do like the costume, it wasn’t so bad, but the party near- or I hope was near the comic convention, got Agent Way’s attention, that punk.

“Way we have to go!” I yelled to bury my voice into the music, careful not to call him agent out of the office, but Agent Way stuck his tongue out “You’re not my mother!”

Great, I’m babysitting a hitman.

I rolled my eyes, guess I have to do everything like I said. So much for undercover.

My combat boots found it’s way to the building with no help. I really needed the help I could get from asking strangers earlier so I did. God, I wish Agent Way let Agent Stumph and Wentz to join instead of leaving us two on the mission, he would have guided me there with my headset and Agent Wentz would have given me my gun (that Mr. U likes to get from me- he’s not exactly giving me the permission to use it)

But no- I traveled alone, kudos to Party Poison. Gee, I sound salty.

I found myself silently judging the people- more like couples who wore a matching Party Poison and (KJ/n) shirts, disgusting honestly.

“A lot of people sure like the two of them huh?”

“Yep, it’s a trend people get into, mostly couples” I jumped when I heard the familiar voice, Mikey smiled. It’s Agent Way’s brother. Trust me, he’s hundred percent better than his own brother.

He wore this red jacket-thingy I couldn’t describe and a yellow shirt with some kind of slashed pattern in it-don’t ask me, I’m not a fashionista, I’m an assassin, a hitman if you prefer.

“Heard my brother’s off smoking, I had to fill in” Agent Mikey Way said. “But… I’m not in the job to kill, I’m just here to make sure you’d carry out the deed, I’m not exactly assigned to do other things than watch and help, so is Agent Iero and Toro”

Dang it.

“Nah, that’s okay really kiddo” he smiled- which was rare, consider it an achievement.

I found Agent Iero in costume as well, I think the name of the man he’s playing is Fun Ghoul, from the posters and constant chattering about it. “He’s so hot! He looks exactly like the character”

I swear I almost snorted when I heard the group of teenagers, ahh their thoughts scares me.

Agent Toro was still left unnoticed, nice job Toro. He held a walkie-talkie in hand, I simply raised an eyebrow in confusion but he didn’t saw me.

“Target on your right” I heard his voice spoke, out of the blue I suddenly felt my palm on my neck. I didn’t realize Agent Way- the other way, was smart enough to put a voice chip there without me knowing.

I looked to the right, seeing Korse walk pass a few tables and stopped to a woman with straight black hair that seems to ve wearing a white coat. His face looked blank as a sheet of paper, but I knew with just the right amount of pencil, I could tell what was once written in the pages.

I pretended to play cool, the usual. I placed my elbows in the table and stared at the dishes served, pretending to be interested in plain broccoli. I saw him move out and I did the same.

“He’s heading to the bathroom” Agent Toro spoke once more and Agent Iero leaned on the wall, while the flock admired his look.

“Omg! He looks exactly like the ray of sunshine Jet Star!”

“Let’s take a picture!”

“Sh*t” I giggled when his curse was sfill transmitted to the device.

I headed exactly where the bald man was up in, luckily it was not the men’s room, just the sink between the two doors. He opened up the faucet and the water ran. I tilted my head and peaked in to the mirror in his front.

Only to see him with a small smirk. “Hello Agent (L/n)”

I pulled out my gun and removed the safety, he laughed. “Well well, quite the aggressive one aren’t you?” I scoffed. He sounds like Agent Gerard Way

“Why are you alone to do the deed? Isn’t your admirer supposed to be here with you?” I rolled my eyes at his pathetic words. Pathetic.

He’s probably off to f*ck stoned girls. He’s useless!

But for some reason… It hurts.

I diverted my attention back at the man. “Who are you really?” his smirk only grew inches wider, he didn’t spoke.

“I am your father”

Is he high?

I rolled my eyes, it felt like the hundredth time this week. I smiled at his weakly. “Enough bullsh*t Korse”

He looked a bit down, his confident smile dropped he raised his head at me.

I pulled the trigger

Nothing happened, like a Magikarp using splash. No bullets came out. “Sh*t”

I’m so doomed, with no patrol to guide my way out of this hell of a scene. Korse just shook his head, leaning at the sink in disappointment. Guess the disappointment, sinked in? Why am I making puns now? I hate doing that.

And I’d hate dying right now.

He pulled out a pistol in his pockets, it flashed in the light, it’s metallic view is breathtaking, literally now that I’m about to emerge back to hell, where I came from.

Bang!

I opened my once deeply closed eyes and saw blood stains on the white tiles, on top of it was supposedly my murderer. I looked up and saw oh who else can it be?

Gerard f*cking Way.

He smirked as he rolled Korse’s head with his shoes.

He shot him in the right temple. Instant death. He ran his fingers in his own greasy hair, he raised his chin a bit, like an alpha showing some dominance, this time over some corpse, which is Korse.

“Hey babe” I scoffed once more.

“After going out, leaving me all alone in this you say Hey babe?” I spat in disgust. He laughed, a hand behind his neck. “You have my brother and Agent Toro with you or maybe…” He went closer, he leaned in, towering my form (-trying to). He placed a finger on my chin and raised it “You just preferred to be with me?”

I bitterly scoffed, how dare he?

But deep inside, I was worried the whole time, there are always this voices wondering if he was alright out there in the party, if he knew what he was doing, if he actually still care about me and our plans on the elimination …. Up until now, I still don’t know the answers to those questions.

“In your dreams Way” I almost forgot to reply his narcissistic comment. “Let’s go, Mr. U will kill us if we don’t head back to the base, anyways, where did you came from when you suddenly burst out of nowhere?” I askes while walking out the empty halls with the man in my tail.

“Bathroom windows, duh” He answered, hands on his waist, his now red dyed hair still sticking out of his face.

I didn’t realize his hands snaked to my waist, I felt my face heat up a bit, cursing myself silently, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“So, (KJ/n)?” His voice sounded so suave, and his eyes seems to be lazily relaxed. “Yes 'Party’?” I questioned with air quotation marks.

“Let’s finally get married, I hate dealing with Fun Ghoul all the time!” He whined, I laughed a bit. He could be an actor from this, I heard that comic would be turned into a TV show on Netflix, he should probably play on that role.

“You should play as Party Poison in that future TV show, I heard they’re still looking for an actor” His eyes lit up, it felt like it was sparkling our like pixie dust when I voiced out my thoughts. “You think?”

“Yeah” I placed my gun back in the bag, since we’re near the crowd. His innocent eyes turned back to his signature look.

“But….” He pursed his lips as we walk a few steps. “If I became Party Poison’s actor you have to be (KJ/n), my dime piece wife” he emphasized on the 'my’

I laughed nervously, is he planning on something again? I swear if he persuaded the boss to make me marry him it wouldn’t be that bad

Wait what?

Nope! No relationships!

…Right?

He remained smiling, it haunts me so badly, I wish I could scream out. I shook my head and continued to walk pass him.

But why does it seem so genuine?

I brushed away the thought. No way!

“In your dreams Way?” I threw profanities at myself for making it sound like a question. It only made the man even more cockier. He snickered and pulled me closer. “Let’s take a picture” he mysteriously pulled out a clean phone from his pocket, he opened his camera app and placed the phone up.

Let me tell you, this is just one of million unforgettable events I have with Gerard Way.

The light flashed, capturing out his reckless moment, and my small comical frown

Gerard Way, the only man who ruins my plans.

But for some reason, he took the bullet for me.

#gerard way #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance imagine

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stimtoybox · 6 years

Photo

[image description: two boxes of Daiso paper clay, sitting on a circular red and green watermelon slice pillow. The box on the viewer’s left is white with the English text “soft clay” below a circular cut out showing the white clay inside; a grey circle contains the Japanese kanji character for “white”, shiro, and the English text. A blue cloud decorates the centre top of the box. The box on the right as a red cloud at the top, a circle-cut out showing red clay, and a red colour block under the “soft clay” text. A black rectangle contains the Japanese kanji character for “red”, aka, and the English text.]

Daiso Paper Clay - Daiso, $2.80 AUD.

This one is an FYI for any Aussie makers of slime: Daiso stores are finally stocking their paper clay! I was in the Highpoint (Footscray) store today and saw, the first time, a whole display of the paper clay in the stationery aisle.

(Daiso paper clay--commonly referred to as “Daiso clay” in YouTube tutorials--is used by many to make thicker slimes, like butter slime. Since the other common alternative, Crayola’s Model Magic, is difficult to affordably source here, having access to the Daiso version is important. I’ve been longing to get my hands on some to try it out.)

This is available in various colours--red, black, green, blue, white and brown.

Please note that while I was in store I saw a woman buy twenty boxes while discussing her intent to use it for slime making, and I saw a group of girls squeal and rush over to the aisle for the same reasons. The white was already sold out after my first walk-through the store. For this reason, I have no idea how long the clay will last or if indeed there’s any left to buy. Given how quickly the section was depleted just after I grabbed my few boxes, I really have no idea how accessible this is going to be for stimmers if professional slime makers are buying it up.

I have to say that this clay, unopened, is amazing to squish in the packaging. It feels like squishing a somewhat-softer block icing or fondant. I’m very tempted to keep a small piece in a ziplock bag and use it just for squishing...

#stim toy mods #Daiso #Australia #photo #text #DIY #DIY components #slime #butter slime #daiso paper clay #informative #mod K.A.#long post

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stimtoybox · 7 years

Video

youtube

[image description: a lighter-skinned right hand wearing glossy nail polish, each nail a different colour: yellow, fuschia, pink, blue, green. A picture of a bottle of Elmer’s school glue, with an orange and blue Elmer’s label, is placed so the orange screw cap is resting over the top of the blue nail. A white-with-black-handdrawn-outline arrow points towards the tip of the glue bottle. The photo takes place on a background of a wire-spine ruled notebook, the lines and spine highlighted with yellow.]

DIYs / Life Hacks Video - Karina Garcia

I’m posting this for the first DIY - instructions on tinting white PVA/school glue with food colouring to make safe, peel-off nail polish.

I know we’ve discussed peel-off nail polish before, for people wishing a safe picking-and-peeling replacement stim, but the professional polish is very expensive, far too expensive for most stimmers. This alternative probably isn’t as durable, but it looks like a lot of fun and should be safe and affordable for most of us. The DIY approach should give more colour options than is available in children’s peel off polish ranges, too.

I did note that some colour remained on her nails when the glue peeled away, and I don’t know how long that staining lasts for. It won’t be permanent because it’s food colouring, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Advisory: as said in the video, because this tutorial uses PVA, it isn’t waterproof. I’d also be sure to use non-toxic glue; many craft glues are not safe for applying directly to skin.

Video has loud background music and auto-generated closed captions in English.

#replacement stims #sensory hacks and tricks #BFRB discussion #DIY #tutorial #video #moving #link #loud #captioned #category: picking and peeling #Karina Garcia #mod K.A.

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stimtoybox · 7 years

Text

I just spent the last half an hour rolling the gear-and-ball roll side of my fidget cube up and down my cheeks, chin and lips. The roller ball gives me the same feeling of putting on deodorant or roller-style lip gloss without the gross gunk of said deodorant or gloss, and I didn’t realise how much I like the ball sensation before I had a fidget toy that provides it! When I’m not doing that, I’m pushing the switch side with my lips by holding the cube against my face. I can rock the cube from side to side and I like the shift in pressure on the switch against my lips plus the faint clicking sound. A sound I get to feel as much as hear! In fact, I’m surprised by just how much I’ve started to like the fidget cube, a toy I didn’t connect with, now I’m stimming with it this way.

None of this is a conscious decision: I just found myself with a fidget cube pressed against my lips in the same way that I often find myself with a Tangle looped around my ear.

Yet ... I don’t know of any professional dialogue about fidget cubes that talks about rolling the ball over one’s lips. I don’t know of any dialogue, not written by stimming folks in the ND community, that comes close to mentioning how it is that I’m stimming with it. In fact, few enough pieces by even ND stimmers talk about using the cube this way: reviews still tend to focus on how the toy works in the hands, not the face.

People, especially NT people, talk about stim toys as though they give us the ability to sit in the classroom and, especially for folks with developmental disabilities, act less neurodivergent, not more. As though they’re a redirection of all our unwanted movements to a behaviour that’s easier for other people to accept and tolerate, and that’s true. It’s a big part of why toys are important, in fact. It is absolutely safer to twist a Tangle Jr in my hands than it is to rock from side to side at the bus stop. It is absolutely safer to stim with a fidget cube in my hands than it is to flap my hands or walk on my tiptoes. Yet the more I explore and regain stimming, the more I find myself stimming in ways that telegraph, not disguise, my autism - even with these supposedly-disguising toys. Stims that are wildly and joyously sensory-seeking for parts of the body we’re not expected to constantly touch. Stims that are confronting, unexpected, defiantly neuroatypical ... and part of my own natural movement and expression. Stims that are, for me, autistic. Stims that are, for everyone here, their own fabulous flavour of neurodiversity.

I want this space to be a safe space for conversations, sometimes, about stim toys that don’t necessarily make us more acceptable to neurotypical eyes. I want this space to be a space space for conversations, sometimes, about stim toys that that don’t disguise. I don’t want anyone to have to hide how they use a toy (although please keep discussions safe for work/family friendly) for fear that they use it in the wrong way. I don’t want anyone to have to edit these movements out of the stories they tell about themselves.

I want people to talk about their sensory-seeking and how they use stim toys to do it, because I don’t want a world where fidget cubes are only accepted if we’re quietly clicking buttons with our fingers.

I want a world where fidget cubes are accepted, by NT and ND folks alike, when we sit in the classroom and roll the gears over our forehead and cheeks.

I want my neurodiversity, my autism, accepted. All of it.

- Mod K.A.

#actuallyautistic #discussion post #stimming discussion #not a toy #text #off topic #personal #mod K.A.#neurodiversity discussion #long post #autism focus #autism discussion

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stimtoybox · 7 years

Note

Are solid color tangles real? They are only 1 color.

Yes and no, depending on the seller. They can be real and they can be fake. As far as I’m aware, the only currently in-print real single-colour Tangles are the metallics and the red sample Tangle Jr Fuzzy, but there are absolutely still older single colour Tangles floating about. Additionally, there’s all the promotional companies that have some licensing deal with Tangle Creations. I don’t know if they’re made in the same warehouse as branded stock or it’s something akin to the deal Zuru made with Antsy Labs, but most of the companies I checked out here in Australia (unfortunately, nobody offered free samples) made a point of now saying their promotional Tangles are real, not imitation.

(That Stimtastic’s Tangle Jrs were reportedly more fragile makes me think it’s more akin to the Zuru situation, and those promotional Tangles aren’t made by Tangle Creations, hence differing quality whilst not being knock-offs because licensing. But I do not know for sure; I’m just engaging in my usual wild conjecture because I find this interesting. I could be incredibly wrong.)

That’s why I said there are exceptions to all my how to pick a fake rules, because all of them do have exceptions, and it can be confusing.

As a general rule, the seller will indicate to you if an item is real or not.

So. Say you see a fabulous single-colour Tangle on a site - somewhere like eBay or Amazon. Awesome. First thing to do is see who’s selling it - the eBay seller or the third-party retailer on Amazon. What you’re looking for is the name of a known seller of old and out of print branded product, like Star Magic, The Learning Shop, Toys For Hands or Tink n’ Stink. These stores, as far as I’m aware, don’t sell fakes: they’re educational, game or OT stores/companies with a reputation to uphold. Their descriptions will often give you information about what they sell in good, clear English. They’ll be stocking other items that have good descriptions, appropriate pricing and professional stock photos - if everything else they’re selling looks real, and everything is priced consistently for that item, chances are high their single-coloured Tangles are real as well.

I’ll note that descriptions may or may not reference Tangle Creations, but if they do, that’s also a good sign of real stock. Photos with the item packaged (which the imitations can’t show because that crosses even more copyright lines) and showing the Tangle Creations logos and design is also another good sign of real/branded stock.

(Many sellers overprice, of course, but if the pricing is consistent for that seller’s storefront, overpricing isn’t indicative of anything to worry about, save for your own wallet.)

If you don’t know if the seller is a reputable dealer or not, and the seller’s storefront and description doesn’t give you enough information, Google. (I could complain here about how eBay doesn’t let you link to a third-party website on your profile.) You’ll quickly find if it’s the eBay or Amazon storefront of a reputable third-party store. This post discusses the signs of a reputable online dealer, if you need help in evaluating a website.

I’d be pretty safe in considering anything on Wish or AliExpress fake, no matter its colour. On Amazon, most things are real. eBay is trickiest, so I’d be checking price, the stock photos for any sign of gaps between the links, the product description (for good, well-written, informative descriptions) and the seller.

I’ll note that with fidget cubes, this is thrown out the window. Don’t use this post for knock-off fidget cubes! A great many stim toy and OT stores are selling fake fidget cubes under a variety of brand names, and for some reason there doesn’t seem to be any need to keep to branded product. (For this reason, if you’re after real fidget cubes, look to see if the descriptions contain reference to Zuru, Antsy Labs or both.) For Tangles, though, and most other toys that aren’t spinners (the patent on spinners was released) I haven’t yet seen a reputable dealer sell imitation product (and there’s many good copyright reasons for this, especially if they’re based in Western countries with firm copyright laws) because there’s no licensing associated with the imitation Tangles. So that, for me, would be the best and firmest indication.

(I’ll mention here, of course, that knock-off Tangles are absolutely as imitation as the fidget cube, are design theft, and are taking money from the creator. No judgement on this point, of course; we need to do what suits our situation as stimmers, and I don’t want anyone on this blog shaming anyone else for their purchasing choices. I’ve bought several fakes, as you know, but I also make sure to buy and keep buying a few real Tangles between them. I know not everyone can do that. But they are theft in the same way the fidget cubes and many other cheap knock-offs are theft.)

I hope that helps you some, anon. Unfortunately, it isn’t a simple, clear-cut answer, but checking out the seller usually gives you a good indication of real or fake.

- Mod K.A.

#stim toy #stim toys #ask #text #purchasing information #purchasing discussion #discussion post #category: Tangle information #Tangle #Tangle Jr #knock off Tangle Jr #informative #anon #mod K.A.#long post #very long post

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