sunday mornings always taunt me
they remind me of the life i wanted
and how i am still not an inch close to it
they scream in horror with how i've lived
so far, nothing has gone to plan at all
i am still stuck at mom's
and every day it gets darker
i see myself in the mirror
and the girl i used to know is nonexistent
at this point i am not expecting much
other than just to breathe and hope it wasn't all
for nothing
all this hurt sunday mornings bring has to mean
something
maybe i am not there yet for a reason
maybe i am supposed to stay still for a season
that girl in the mirror
will soon love sunday mornings
but for now
she will sit this one out
and hope for the next one
to be better, somehow
- nick <3
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Cool, cool, all day that Sunday in July
when we were young and did not look into the abyss,
Anne Sexton, from the furies (the fury of sundays) in "the complete poems of Anne Sexton"
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A Cup of Tea
Would it seem presumptuous, perhaps impertinent,
of me to invite you for a cup of tea on a sunny Sunday
morning at a small shop on a well- trafficked street?
And, if you were to agree would you question me,
over that cup of tea, or before, as to why I wish
your company on a sunny Sunday morning?
I might answer, before that cup of tea, that your interests
interest me, and given what I see, you seem quite shy (and
I have heard this is true) and I think you might be more
inclined to reply over a cup of pekoe brew on a safe and
sunny well-trafficked street on a Sunday morning.
And, what would the object be, you might ask, of meeting
over a cup of tea and what would a pertinent question be?
The why and why not of what you know and what you do,
the who and why and what of you cannot all be explained
over a cup of tea on a sunny Sunday morning, but a small
answer, say a cupful, with one who takes pleasure in
interesting conversation with one who seems interesting
is all the question and answer needed on a sunny Sunday
morning and a cup of tea.
by Robert Manchester
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Sea Fever
I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking.
I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.
I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.
- John Masefield
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I've forgotten how to friend
I've forgotten how to friend
How to share and be shared with
Now I'm here, starting again
And I've got so much friend to give
But I don't know where I should put it
Don't know how, who with, or when
I've lost the skill to do it
I've forgotten how to friend
When I was younger it was easy
I could be friends with anyone
Just a round of introductions
And then straight on with the fun
Open hearts and open minds
Sincerely social, no pretend
But now those days are all behind
As I've forgotten how to friend
Now there are rules you're meant to follow
Certain things that you can't say
Interactions feel so hollow
As you fake being ok
Don't tell them that you're lonely
Dont be desperate, don't offend
Don't let them know you need them
Or that they'd be your only friend
Be cool, be smart, be charming
But don't talk about yourself
Don't be awkward or disarming
Leave your ego on the shelf
Make sure you have some things in common
And when the conversation ends
Don't be pushy, just be calm and
Act like you DO know how to friend
You have to put in effort
It won't just happen on its own
The contradiction makes my head hurt
How do you make new friends alone?
You can't just tell them that you like them
You must meet up, get on, and then
Agree unspoken that it's mutual, and hope
THEY'VE not forgotten how to friend
I've grown so tired of the pretence
Don't want to play this silly game
I want to make new friends and keep them
Call my purpose by it's name
And not apologize for trying
This is me, and to that end
I'm not hiding and not lying
I'm rediscovering how to friend.
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Snippet Sunday
today was busy day with chores, taking care of friend's cat, and stream. but, it's still sunday! i made it on time. go me!
thanks for the tag, @fangbangerghoul! i'd have prolly forgotten.
imma doing something different today. i'm putting up a snippet of an original poem i wrote years ago. i've been trying to get back into the habit of writing poetry. bits of poems float through my head all the time. i'd like to publish them somewhere, but i'm not sure where. my understanding is that ao3 isn't the right place. if anyone has any ideas, besides tumblr, LMK.
so, here's a bit of poem i wrote a long time ago. some mature themes, but nothing explicit? metaphors are fun.
...amber eyes, the color of
a winter fire
slowly eating away
at the logs like they
were the most delicious
pussy they’d ever tasted
I listen to the wind rustle
the leaves of the big oak tree
outside your window
drinking in the taste of your
kisses and the scent
of your heated skin
I taste the salt and the burning
on my tongue as my chest
feels as if it’s made
of helium to float up
like a demented balloon
but the demons are still there
stomping their little feet to
get my attention
I thought the salt was from sweat
but I’m under the bed again waiting
for the hand to strike and claw to drag me
into the darkness where
I’ll never leave...
(I walk up to the priest
"this is my body
this is my blood"
my tiny hands out
cupped like a baby
bird’s mouth and
i see blood and flesh
coming apart between my legs
"What did i do wrong this time?"
waking silently
trying to be invisible
choosing my words like
choosing a diamond
thinking they are the hardest things
to protect me from shattering
with the next blow)
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“Sunday is gloomy, the hours are slumberless Dearest of shadows I live with are numberless Little white flowers will never awaken you,
Not where the dark coach of sorrow has taken you,
Angels have no thought of ever returning you Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?”
— Gloomy Sunday, a Billie Holiday Cover By: Björk (2010)
Björk's 'Gloomy Sunday' tribute to Alexander McQueen which she performed at his memorial.
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