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linguisticparadox · 9 hours
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Dracula Daily Prep: Gather Your Paprikash!
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It's that time of year again. Even as we speak, Jonathan Harker has departed for Transylvania, and the unhallowed halls of Castle Dracula. And as he makes his way towards that foreboding country, he will encounter a singular, most enticing of dishes: Paprika Hendl, or as we might know it better, Chicken Paprikash!
This traditional Central European dish explodes in popularity each May as we all gather around our virtual mess hall to enjoy the spirit of this most influential of gothic novels. Perhaps you yourself are considering throwing together a pot this year? Well, if you are, let this be your guide.
So, first, let's discuss the most important of the ingredients here: authentic hungarian paprika. Now, the recipe I first used last year called only for Sweet Paprika, but I personally found that version to be a little bland. I'm remedying this by adding some Hot Paprika as well. However, this is just my personal experimentation. Hungarian Hot Paprika can in fact be very hot, so if you're not comfortable with anything too spicy, feel free to opt only for the Sweet Paprika.
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(Both of these I had to order online.)
Next, is another very important addition. As youre gathering your basic cornerstones of cooking (namely yellow onion, roma tomato, and garlic for this recipe) you may find yourself passing up on something that could vastly improve your dish. I'm talking, of course, about Hungarian Wax Peppers. These peppers range in heat, from meak and mild to slightly hotter than you'd average jalapeño. As per instruction, you should only use one. But on my end, I found the single pepper to be a little underwhelming, and I had trouble picking out it's flavor. So, this year, I'll be using two of them.
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I got these from Central Market, an upmarket gorcer on Westheimer. They're a cousin of HEB, and you can find one or two in every major city in Texas. If you're elsewhere, try an alternative like Whole Foods, or try to find a European or International food market in your area.
Next, let's talk chicken. You can't have Chicken Paprkiash without the chicken, after all.
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You're going to want to go with dark meat cuts for this. Traditionally the dish would use a mix of legs and thighs. Personally, I suggest using only the thighs, which you'll want to get bone-in and skin-on. The thigh provides a flater surface for browning than the leg, as well as more meat.
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(A note on food safety, raw chicken will usually only last 2-3 days in the fridge. So you'll want to grab that fairly close to the day you're actually cooking this. If not, you can do what I'll be doing, and sticking it in the freezer until about 24 hours before I start cooking.)
So, as you gather your meat, produce, and spice you're probably asking yourself, "what on Earth am I going to be eating this with?" And the answer to that is spaetzle! A popular dumpling present in lots of Central European cooking, this is exactly what you need to tie this all together.
Now, while you should be able to find some in the international isle of most major grocers, you might also have to visit an international food store, or perhaps something more upmarket. If none of these options work, then there are a variety of other side dishes that work just as well. Egg noodles are a very popular choice, and in my very American attempt last year, I found that mashed potatoes work especially well.
Now that you've got all these things together, you're very nearly done. All that's left is the thickener. Paprikash is thickened using a blend of flour, heavy whipping cream, and sour cream. We'll get onto preparing this mixture in my post on actually cooking the paprikash, but until then, acquiring them should be a cake walk at any place food items are sold.
Now that will conclude the actual grocery list for just the Paprikash itself, but I do have one more pointer on how to really liven up this meal. Now, if you're under 21 or if perhaps you take after our dear, depraved, beloathed Count
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Then you can skip this next bit. As a wine professional myself, I find that a well paired glass can add a tremendous flare to nearly any already great dinner. In the case of something like Chicken Paprkiash, and keeping with the Central European theme, I could hardly think of a better match than a good German Pinot Noir, also known as a Spatburgunder. Pinot from Germany typically has a very light body and a refreshing acidity that plays very well with the rich and creamy sauce of Chicken Paprikash. The palate of earth and red fruit should always pair nicely with the smoke of the paprika, as well as being a general good partner for any chicken. I myself am going with this 2020 Rheingou from August Kesseler.
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And with that, we are done! Hit those checkout isles and make sure to get home before dark. Terrible things have sway over the world once the sun has gone down. So if the crowd does keep you locked up until nightfall, make sure to graciously accept any crucifixes given to you by kindly, elderly grandmothers and inn keepers. But whatever you do, make sure to pop in on Friday, when I'll be sharing a step by step guide on taking these ingredients and turning them into a dinner that will make our good friend Jonathan go red as a fire truck!
Happy Dracula Week everybody!
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linguisticparadox · 9 hours
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linguisticparadox · 9 hours
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As a wheelchair user I'm trying to reframe my language for "being in the way."
"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."
It's a small change, but to me it feels as if I'm redirecting blame from myself to the people that made these places inaccessible in the first place. I don't want people to just think that they're helping me, I want them to think that they're making up for someone else's wrongdoing. I want them to remember every time I've needed help as something someone else caused.
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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Instead of making fun of people who do things at an older age that are normally done younger ( like getting their diploma or GED, learning to drive, even learning to read ) how about you:
don’t
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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superheroes continue to fascinate me as a genre, something about being given power beyond what the average person is capable of and choosing to use that power in service to others
but i'm running into what i'll call the "guy with laser eyes" problem in this disorganized rant
imagine you're a guy with the ability to shoot lasers out of your eyes. how do you use that power?
genre conventions say fight street-level crime, which is fucked up! vigilante crimefighting is just being a cop without the oversized paycheck or the extremely limited accountability, and your laser eyes aren't good for nonviolent intervention anyway
or you fight supervillains, that way you're at least punching in your weight class. sure, sounds good on paper but that's some real "the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" thinking and also you're still not a cop
so you'd say "okay, what if i use my power to address structural problems and deal with societal ills at their source?" well what the hell is a guy with laser eyes going to do to fight income inequality?
disaster relief is maybe your best bet but i don't know that you want to be saving orphans and kittens from burning buildings by blasting a big hole in them with your laser eyes
so what's a guy to do with his laser eyes?
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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incredible translation of sheeesh thank you google
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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There are ten trillion pictures of flowering trees to the point where they sometimes seem trite and overdone. But then you see a tree in full flower and go holy shit this rules and I've gotta show this to everyone so they can experience the same magic and wonder and there are ten trillion and one pictures of flowering trees
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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Why do people need subtitles to watch a show in English? I don't get it. What is wrong with the ears of young people?
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linguisticparadox · 10 hours
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you're not stuck. it's not over. you can claw yourself out again and again. find strength in yourself. find strength in others whom you can trust. the fight isn't over until you're dead.
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linguisticparadox · 11 hours
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linguisticparadox · 11 hours
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thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
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linguisticparadox · 11 hours
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linguisticparadox · 11 hours
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in a kinder world i live in an i spy page
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linguisticparadox · 11 hours
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Justin of the Timber Lake: A mythical figure revered in the early 21st century as the Harbinger of May, thought to be the name of a deity, or possibly some sort of messianic figure
Excerpt from A History of Pre-Contact Earth, published 2903
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