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#of life and general exuberance
minionwater · 2 years
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concepts of some supporting cast star crossed lovers for D★SENT >:3 design notes in tags!
#so these two r reaper and muse until I can think of better names for them#essentially they’re a grim reaper and a guy who can’t stop reincarnating. and unfortunately they r in love#i have no idea if they’ll get together at this point but they see each other for like fifteen minutes every once in a while#yknow. whenever muse dies#reaper’s design is based off skeletons you find in the forest - nature and calming death essentially. decay as a form of life#those silver bands r all centipedes#muse is based off fancy candles - the everlasting endurance of fire. you can put it out but it comes back#as for personality in design language#reaper is based off sad drunk girls in the bathroom at parties who give the best advice but hate themselves too much to see they’re so full#of life and general exuberance#and muse is based off the song ‘the cat came back’ which I was forced to sing in elementary school n thought I made up for a decade somehow#if I have to think about the cat came back for 10+ years straight. so do you#reaper is calm enough. she shows up to dying people in projections as a guide - taking the form of their most comforting memory a la black p#arade. muse is so fucking sick of being alive at this point but they can’t resist the draw of art anyway - after all that’s what they keep b#eing pulled back for#they’re much more tricksterish than reaper. at this point they kinda don’t have morals anymore tbh. but morals r a very loose concept in thi#s world anyway. they just deal with being alone much differently than reaper does. she pushes it down and they bring it forth#also the design language for dsent is that only the dead have uncovered faces. something about it being the purest form of truth#so reaper’s face is uncovered for obvious reasons. but muse’s face is partially stripped away to show just how many times they’ve seen truth#and come back anyway. for everyone else it’s one and done yeah.#there’s also their face being stripped away for the lasting impact of art beyond death even after a person n their body r gone#original character#oc#character design#sander ocs#sanders art tag#dsent#D★SENT
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void-and-virtue · 2 years
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I’m a big fan of the whole concept that Andrew actually ends up grudgingly enjoying Exy at some point, entirely because he enjoys being contrary. Like. To Andrew, denying people who think they can one-up him their success is a basic need. Riling them up for his own amusement in the process, only to make the takedown that much more humiliating when even the anger is not enough to give them an edge against his immovable presence is Andrew’s idea of self-fulfillment. Exy makes it so he’s literally getting paid millions of dollars to do that.
Kevin would be so much more successful in his pursuit to get Andrew to actually play if he stopped trying to get him to like the sport itself, and instead started to subtly market it as a professional career in being a little shit. I like to think Neil eventually figures out how to intentionally garner Andrew’s interest and starts to capitalize on his instigative tendencies to the fullest to give him incentive. Andrew plays Exy like it’s psychological warfare when he puts his mind to it. They could probably get him to run precision drills at night practice by prompting him to imagine how mad it would make people if he managed to strategically bounce balls off of his opponents’ helmets mid-game as a way to pass the ball up to Neil so that he can score. Stuff like that is actually creative, and hard to do, so the challenge becomes interesting when the reward (grim satisfaction in his own skill, his opponent being mad at him but unable to do anything about it, Neil’s smile) is worth the shot. It’s not the game itself that interests Andrew. It’s the opportunity to thoroughly mess with people and be as much of an inconvenience as humanly possible that sometimes makes playing Exy satisfying for him.
On a more serious note, there’s also something to be said about how his personal history/trauma feeds into this. Saying ‘No’ and the ability to see through that his ‘No’ is final is a very integral part of who Andrew is as a person. It’s really tangled up with Exy for him because, as Neil accurately put it, he plays Exy like he plays life.
Andrew is someone whose choice has been taken away from him far too many times in his life. The ability to choose and deny what happens to him and those under his protection is the highest good he has. Playing as the last line of defense at his level of skill quite possibly has the potential to be downright therapeutic. There’s satisfaction to be found in every goal denied, in being the best at what he does and taking control of his part in the game, if he allowed this to mean that to him. And that could factor into enjoyment of the sport as well — a quiet, subdued kind rather than loud celebration, but silent satisfaction is just as valuable as the much louder, more obvious kind. Anybody who matters can recognize happiness and contentment in him without needing him to say anything anyway.
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i feel like i should finish the season before i give a more thorough assessment but like i do think the biggest problem with netflix sandman is that it just looks like complete and total shit
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tenth-sentence · 11 months
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Many of these aboriginal cosmologies, like that of the Amazonian Ufaina people referred to above, involve sophisticated conceptualizations of the flow of "life energy" that parallel contemporary environmental and economic theories, including Bataille's theory of General Economy.
"Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" - Bruce Bagemihl
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dark-tides-in-faerun · 5 months
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Boiling Point (1/2)
Astarion x You!
Your party stumble across a hot spring in the wilds and agree to take turns bathing. It turns out, Astarion isn’t very good at taking turns but is more than happy to share…
🌶️mature🌶️ (fair warning that this chapter is just a little steamy but the next one will be very nsfw!)
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You lay on your back in the recently discovered hot spring, eyes closed, basking in the delicious warmth. If this wasn't heaven, you weren't sure what was. The moon lights up the little clearing you’re in, giving everything that it touches a lovely, silvery sheen, and you close your eyes and relax into it, feeling at ease for the first time in weeks.
“Well, hello.”
You almost jump out of your skin.
“Astarion.” You gasp, spluttering up a lungful of water as you quickly sink lower beneath the surface, arms crossing against your chest in a bid to protect your modesty as you twist toward him. The water’s cloudy enough that he wouldn’t be able to see anything, but that knowledge does very little to make you feel less exposed. “What in the nine hells is wrong with you?”
“Nothing that a little dip couldn’t fix.” He quips, lounging against a rock, his face the picture of innocence and your eyes narrow as you notice he’s clutching a crimson towel in one pale hand.
“It’s not your turn.” You warn, narrow eyes meeting his as his carefully blank face looks back at you. You’d all agreed on a schedule for hot spring use and given that he’d already talked you into letting him steal all of your allocated time, it definitely wasn’t his turn.
“Oh, I know that.” He replies, the picture of unaffected grace as he looks at his nails and then back at you. “I just think it’s a little selfish of you to be… indulging yourself with so little regard for other people’s feelings.”
“Is it?” You say, slowly, and his lips quirk up in response. “Or is it a ‘little selfish’ to interrupt someone during the only time they’ve had to themselves in days. Especially when that person in question has already given up every other opportunity to bathe in the hot spring for you.”
“Yes, yes, that was very generous of you darling, but try to look at it from my perspective. You generate your own heat, but what about me? Do you know what it feels like to spend night after night in this frozen and miserable, knowing that there’s something warm and wet that I could sink myself into just meters away?”
His voice is innocent, but as his eyes drop to where your skin disappears beneath the water, the smile he gives you is anything but. It's obvious he’s trying to use your physical response to him to manipulate you, because he's always trying to do that and you flush, desire flooding to your core just as he intends it. But you're not just flushing because of the obscene way he's looking at you. It's because that smile has reminded you of how he looked when he returned from the springs last night. All pink skin and delighted exuberance. He’d been light, playful, exhilarated... Happy. And you knew enough about his past to know that happiness wasn’t something he’d known much of in his long life.
“Why can't you just go and bother someone else for a change.” You grumble, but the delighted shine in his eyes shows you that he knows he's getting his way and you scowl at him. “Gods give me strength. Turn around.”
“Why?” he asks, mouth blooming into a full smile and you can’t help the extra little flip your stomach gives at the sight of it.
“Because I’m naked and I’m not getting out with you staring at me. Turn around.”
“Darling, I’m hurt. Are you really suggesting we can’t share? There’s more than enough room for two.” He pouts, eyes shining as he stares down at you, sparkling with mischief and butterflies flutter to life in your stomach at the suggestion. You know he’s only trying to get a rise out of you but damn it, if it isn’t working. "Besides, I promise to keep my hands to myself.”
You choke back a strangled laugh because it really wasn’t him you were worried about. The butterflies have gone into overdrive just from the suggestion, and you can feel the heat staining your cheeks a darker pink than the warmth of the hot spring. You stare up at him, eyes a little too wide, and he gives you a self-satisfied smile. You can see in his gaze that he expects you to balk. Expects you to surrender the hot spring and slink away with your pink cheeks and pounding heart.
Well fuck him.
You force a sweet smile, feeling a thrum of satisfaction at the slight widening of his eyes as instead of moving toward him you wade to the far edge and turn around. For a long moment there’s nothing and you wonder if he’s even still there.
“Well? Are you getting in or not?” You demand, proud that your voice is only a little shaky, and he lets out a laugh. You swallow, focusing on trying to keep your heart rate level as you hear the sound of rustling fabric and then the water ripples around you as he slips in behind you.
“You can look now, darling, I assure you I’m quite decent.”
You turn around and immediately regret not getting out when you had the chance.
There is nothing decent about the way he looks right now.
The moonlight floods the broad expanse of his naked chest, staining it an ethereal, shining white, and he looks like he was carved from marble. The steam from the water has already tightened the hair at the nape of his neck into little curls. He’s stark and beautiful in the silver moonlight, but it’s not even that, that’s most striking.
It’s his expression.
His eyes are closed, head resting against the grassy bank behind him and the little smile that plays at the edges of his lips is a million miles away from his usual shit-eating grin. It’s small and soft and decidedly content and you swallow. It’s the full force of the little smile you’d seen at camp. It’s true happiness, you realize and it makes your heart pound and ache in equal measure to acknowledge that you’ve never seen that particular smile before.
He shifts, lifting his arms from the water and resting them against the rocky edge of the pool, blinking up at you and that little smile dissolves into something darker. Water streams from his skin, running between the dips and crevices of his muscular biceps and you shrink into yourself a little, sinking into the water until just your chin hovers above it. There’s nothing you can do about your heart now, it’s pounding against your ribs like it wants to escape from your chest and his crimson eyes are fixed on you as you try your best to keep yourself in check.
“Happy now?” you ask, and though your voice is a little breathy you feel like the fact that you’ve even gotten the words out is a feat of heroic proportions.
“Very.” He replies closing his eyes, and you can’t help but smile at that. He looks more content than you’ve ever seen him and that thought triggers a reaction in you that’s so strong that you suddenly realize that you can’t stay here. He doesn’t deserve to be ogled like this, when he’s just trying to relax. From the little snippets he’s given you from his past he’s had enough of that to last several lifetimes.
You clear your throat and he opens his eyes again, one eyebrow raised questioningly you swallow, gesturing at him to swap places with you. He sits up at that, a surprised smile on his lips and you shake your head, not wanting him to get the wrong idea about your intentions.
“I’m going to leave you to it.” You say, your words only catching a little in your throat as he cocks his head to the side, looking at you thoughtfully.
“Leave me to what, exactly?” He asks, voice low and teasing, and heat rises beneath your cheeks as steam curls up in silvery tendrils around his chest.
“This. Warming up.” You manage, trying not to look at him as you edge your way around the to the other side of the spring, nearer to the grassy knoll, but you really need him to move out of the way if you want to make a graceful exit. “I’ll see you back at camp.”
“I can think of better ways to warm up.” He says, voice a little too innocent, and your gaze flicks to him before you can stop yourself. His eyes are fixed on you and the look in them is dark and predatory and you falter, heart in your throat. You’ve seen that look before, and you swallow as his gaze slips to your neck, the hunger in it apparent.
“I-I-“ you start, but your words die in your throat. The way he’s looking at you has melted your insides into a puddle of lust and your really, really need to get yourself under control. You take a breath. Blood. He means blood. You try to distract your pounding heart by thinking through the implications of what he’s asking. You’re no cleric, but surely bloodletting in hot water wasn’t the best of ideas... “Is it safe?”
He frowns at that, cocking his head to the side as if trying to work out your meaning and you swallow and touch your neck.
“Is it safe to feed in the water?” You say, again. He freezes for a second, and then some unreadable expression passes over his face before he quickly looks away. If you didn’t know him better, you’d have said it was disappointment.
“Of course.” He says, seemingly to himself, and when he looks up the expression has been swallowed up by his usual confidence. “Don’t worry, my sweet. I’ll take very good care of you.”
He holds out his hand and you bite your lip, hesitating for a moment. It’s not that you don’t trust him. If he says it’s safe you believe him, but you’re just suddenly very aware of your lack of clothes. You shift uncertainly, edging a tiny bit closer to him and a slow smile spread over his lips.
“I think you’ll find you need to be a little closer than that.” He says in a voice that spreads beneath your skin like treacle, and for the second time in one night you regret not leaving when you had the chance.
You shiver despite the heat as you place your hand in his and he wraps his pale fingers around yours, tugging you gently towards him. For one panicked second you think he's going to pull you onto his lap, but he stops when you're a few inches apart. You put your free hand on the grassy bank to steady yourself as he lifts your hand to his mouth, rotating it so that the soft skin of your wrist presses gently against his lips. He's fed from you before but, other than the very first time when he almost lost himself, he’s been almost clinical in his approach. Careful to only touch as much as he needs to.
This is not that.
You watch, dumbstruck, as his pink tongue slips out from between his lips to swipe a cool stripe across the overheated plane of your wrist. Your breath catches, a small hitch at the back of your throat, but he catches it and drowning crimson orbs flick up to meet your startled gaze. He does it again, staring at you darkly from beneath his eyelashes and licks another tortuously slow line across your aching skin.
You try not to, but you can't help but gasp, hand gripping tightly into the grass, and his pupils dilate with bloodlust as his fingers tighten against your skin. Gods.
“A-Astarion.” Your voice is breathy and tight, barely audible and you feel almost drunk from just this small amount of contact. He closes his eyes at the sound, a pained expression passing over his face as a shudder runs through his body, and then, before you can say anything else, his fangs sink into your wrist.
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forlix · 7 months
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𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠・h.h.
— you're uninviting, there's no doubt about that, your resolve like unpolished diamond and tongue like broken glass. but hyunjin finds you're not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are.
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words・11.1k
pairing・idol!hyunjin x female stylist!reader (inspired by this)
genres・fluff, angst, eventual smut so MDNI, some hurt/comfort, some humor, mc is a bad bitch and hyunjin is a #simp, enemies? to lovers, sexual tension, workplace relationship, mutual pining, slow burn, nonlinear narrative, alternating perspectives
warnings・cunnilingus, overstimulation, creampie (practice safe sex!!), mild dacryphilia. again, MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS THAT INTERACT WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED.
warnings (cont'd.)・reader vividly remembers an anxiety attack. alcohol is consumed. lots of compartmentalization and imperfect communication. latter half is just kind of sad in general tbh but what do u expect from a fic based off alex turner lyrics
playlist・farewell, neverland by txt・like crazy by jimin・black friday by tom odell・collide by justine skye・crying lightning by arctic monkeys
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a/n・call me victor frankenstein bc i've given birth to a MONSTER (except i actually love and care for mine ofc). this was easily the greatest challenge of my fanfiction-writing career and it feels like my magnum opus; i hope it's worth the wait! also a huge shoutout to sahar for being my voice of reason and my biggest supporter :’) i don’t deserve u i love u
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Present day. Cannes, France. 5:54 P.M.
You’ve long made peace with the fact that Hwang Hyunjin is incapable of shutting up for more than five minutes.
As it is, the man has a mouth that runs like a cross-country marathon; then throw in his uncanny aptitude for annoying you, and what do you get? A nonstop slew of terrible jokes and teasing quips, tailored according to his thorough mental manual of what gets under your skin hardest and fastest.
This is the reality you live in, presumably because you were evil in your past life, and you’ve steeled yourself to see it through.
But twenty minutes have passed since you and Hyunjin ducked into the back of a cab and gave the driver the show’s address—and, as stunning as the red rooftops and lazuline coastline of Cannes are, you find you’re more interested in Hyunjin’s peculiar silence.
You move your gaze to his face. He’s looking outside, his chin resting upon the palm of his hand, the afternoon sunlight dusting over his chiseled features like polish on pottery; his complexion an exuberant gold against the cream-colored linen that makes up his clothing.
Maybe it’s because you opted for a simpler makeup look today, leaving the most telling contours of his face warm and bare, or maybe it’s because you’ve spent the last year committing his every mannerism and expression to memory. Nevertheless, you see through his pursed lips and tight brow right away.
“Nervous?” 
Hyunjin’s head swivels towards you with a small snap, like he’s forgotten you’re here. His lips fall open, their glossy peach color glinting with the small shift.
“No,” he replies reflexively, but then his facade flickers. “Fuck, maybe a little. It’s just hard to believe, you know?”
You do know. It was a huge honor for both of you when Hyunjin was named the newest global ambassador of Versace. For you to be attending the brand’s pop-up show in one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, among some of the world’s most prolific creatives, is truly incomprehensible. Even you’ve been feeling antsy since you landed; you can only imagine Hyunjin’s anxiety.
You have never been good at consolation. You think your mouth is too coarse, your propensity for honesty too strong. But you’ve always known just what to say when it comes to him.
“Just remember who you are.”
Hyunjin takes a few seconds to process your words, but his understanding washes over his whole body; straightens his back; hardens his gaze. You don’t see this change in posture, though. You’re too busy looking anywhere else, all of a sudden feeling quite embarrassed.
Nor do you see the private smile that disperses across Hyunjin’s lips; his eyes softening so, so marginally when they peer at your profile; his hand twitching where it rests on his knee, as if contemplating reaching for you with a mind of its own.
Thirty seconds. That is the amount of time you have left to bask in this otherworldly tranquility. And then he speaks.
“I want you to meet my parents.”
Your arm reacts before your mind can. Without having to turn your head an inch, you smack him squarely in the bicep, sending him crumpling against his door with a bark of a laugh; “please,” he adds, and you’re biting back a smile as you hit him again, with less conviction this time.
The cab driver nearly misses an exit, too busy wondering about the peculiar pair in his backseat and the nature of your relationship. He can’t tell if you hate each other or if you’re married.
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One year ago. Seoul, South Korea. 8:42 A.M.
“I still can’t believe you’re abandoning me.”
“For my newborn daughter.”
“Yeah, okay. I still can’t believe you’re abandoning me for your newborn daughter. What does that brat have that I don’t?”
“My genes, to begin with.”
“That’s unfair. She’s using—”
An important-looking pair of women step out of the nearest elevators, the clacking of their heels ricocheting sharply off the lobby walls. Hyunjin straightens his back so quickly he thinks he pulls a muscle. He and Seojun incline their heads in perfect sync, their “good morning”s prim and professional.
“She’s using cheats,” Hyunjin hisses the second the women are out of earshot again, and this wrests a laugh from the older man at last.
Around one month prior, Seojun confided in Hyunjin that he and his partner were expecting their first child soon, and that he would be putting his career on indefinite hiatus to welcome her into the world.
Hyunjin had never felt so conflicted in his life. On one hand, he’d grown closer to his stylist over the last two years than he’d thought possible, and he knew it was stupid to be anything but delighted for him and his expanding family. On the other hand, it was precisely because they’d become so close that he wanted to grab the man by the ankles and shake the decision clean out of his body. He couldn’t imagine a dressing room or tour bus without him.
Today is a Saturday, but it’s also Seojun’s last day with the company. Hyunjin dragged himself to the JYP building at half past eight with much less reluctance than he let on. He wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
“Fourth floor,” Seojun instructs after the pair enter the elevator, and Hyunjin presses a knuckle to the according number. “Thanks.”
The doors slide shut; the floor numbers tick upwards.
“What was her name again?” Hyunjin asks.
“Y/N,” Seojun returns. “Y/L/N.”
“Is she here already?”
“No, she’ll be here at nine.”
There’s a small pause. 
“Hyung.”
“Hm?”
“I feel like I’m being married off to another family for political reasons.”
“God, I can’t wait to be free of your theatrics.”
At this, the two men make eye contact; exchange smiles. The elevator announces their arrival to the fourth floor, and they step through the doors.
“You’ll be in good hands,” Seojun reassures. “She’s the best of the best. I hear she’s basically running the industry these days. I’m surprised she agreed to take you on.”
“I’m surprised an old fry like you knows someone like her,” Hyunjin replies, and the look Seojun gives him is so withering that he thinks he pulls a muscle again with his apologetic bow.
“You’re not wrong, though,” Seojun concedes. “We happened to work on the same project back when she was still a small name, and we’ve kept in touch ever since. She’s a great kid. Ambitious, hardworking, strong as hell—”
They arrive outside their destination, and Hyunjin holds open the door to the conference room. Only to find that Seojun has stopped in his footsteps, temporarily stunned by a new realization.
She reminds me of him.
“He’s forgotten how to walk,” the him in question whispers like he’s narrating a nature documentary, and the moment is over. “Is this what fatherhood does to a man?”
Seojun kicks Hyunjin into the room by the seat of his pants.
The minutes pass slowly. Seojun moves his eyes between the door and his phone every few seconds, visibly antsy about the imminent meeting. In the meantime, Hyunjin makes the groundbreaking discovery that these office chairs are absurdly and almost suspiciously comfortable. All it takes is a chin upon his palm and a few seconds of shut-eye, and he’s suddenly slumped over the table, snoring softly into the crook of his elbow.
At 8:57, Seojun’s phone lights up with a new notification. At 8:58, he notices that Hyunjin is asleep, and closes his hand around the crumpled receipt in his pocket. At 8:59, he scrunches said receipt into a ball and launches it in Hyunjin’s direction. It hits him squarely on the head, and the boy is nearly knocked to the floor like a bowling pin.
“For that,” Hyunjin sputters, “I’m the godfather.”
“Absolutely the hell not.”
Then, it is 9:00.
When the door of the conference room opens, Hyunjin is still trying to gather his wits, wondering if the bastard is leaving the makeup industry to secretly pursue a career in professional basketball. He just barely notices the unfamiliar figure who steps into his line of vision.
“There she is,” Seojun greets warmly, rising to his feet right away. “God, how long has it been? Two, three years now?”
You’re not doing anything remarkable when Hyunjin sees you for the first time, simply walking across the room and bowing graciously in Seojun’s direction, but he is immediately under the vague impression that you’re cutting through space as you move, scorching the particles of air that dare obstruct your path. 
With his head cocked slightly to the left, like a fascinated puppy, Hyunjin watches the stunning smile that forms on your lips when you take Seojun’s hand; your finger as it tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear with the elegance of rippling silk. His mind feels impossibly slow, like you’ve tapped open his skull and robbed him of his ability to think.
Then, you toss Hyunjin a look over your shoulder, and he’s reminded of lightning forking towards the earth. Terrifying, volatile, beautiful.
“Something like that,” you say, turning back to Seojun, and time starts to move again. “It’s great to see you again, Mr. Lee. Congratulations on the baby.”
“Please, Seojun is fine,” he answers hastily. “And thank you. Thank you for all of this, actually. I can’t tell you how excited we are to have you.” 
“You’re too kind—I’m excited too.”
Upon uttering the word “we,” Seojun delivers Hyunjin a fleeting side-eye; he takes the hint and pushes himself to his feet, feeling uncharacteristically clumsy as he moves towards you.
The second time he meets your gaze, it feels wrong, almost, for him to hold it for as long as he does. Like he’s approaching your throne with his chin held high and eyes fixed forward instead of his head sweeping the ground.
Except he swears he senses a strange warmth within the rings of your irises, and he spends every second of eye contact following, chasing it, almost craning his neck with how badly he wants to get a closer look. Until he’s as close to you as is socially acceptable for a first meeting and comes to a halt.
He ends up losing its trail, but he won’t forget that it’s there. 
“My client, I’m guessing?” You say, extending your hand. “Y/N. It’s a pleasure.”
Your fingers are freezing cold where they meet his, and Hyunjin already knows that melting the permafrost that coats your flesh and guards your soul will be the tallest task of his life.
But he finds his next words accompanied by an involuntary smirk; he’s nothing, if not tenacious.
“Hyunjin,” he returns. “Pleasure’s all mine.”
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Nine months ago. Paris, France. 6:16 P.M.
Hyunjin isn’t sure why—maybe you forget that he can still steal glances at your reflection over your shoulder or through the gaps of your fingers—but he’s learned over the last four weeks that you’re different, gentler, when you’re doing his makeup.
Your cold hands request instead of demand that he angle his head a certain way or suck in his cheeks. Your syllables are rounder somehow, your voice never traveling above a murmur. Even your eyes mellow out when you move in really close, your pupils dilating as you detail the final touches to the fresco you’ve painted upon him.
Your expression doesn’t give you away (it never does), but his hunch is that there’s a sprinkle of doting somewhere among the intense focus. That would explain why he feels like a flower in the moments when your fingertips and gaze move so carefully over his skin, like you’re touching his petals, trying not to tear them.
Too bad you never let him daydream for long.
“Close.”
“Huh?”
“Your eyes. Close them.”
His lashes have hardly brushed his lower lids when you begin to empty what feels like an entire bottle of setting spray on him. At the moist surprise, Hyunjin’s features scrunch up around his nose and he lets out a distraught hack like an old man.
A few seconds later, the barrage stops, and he cracks open a wary eye to scope out his surroundings. You wait until he does this to give his face one last spurt.
“Witch,” Hyunjin mutters, clawing back up the vanity chair.
“Thank you,” you reply, completely earnestly.
And whatever Hyunjin was going to say next suspends instantly on his tongue when you bring the pad of your thumb to the very edge of his lower lip and drag it across the soft flesh. He wonders if you know how hard he tries not to look at your mouth whenever you tend to his. He wonders if there’s anything you don’t know.
“You smudged your lipstick already.” There’s a small streak of coral pink on your hand when it falls back to your side. “See? That’s why we need the setting spray.”
“Uh huh.” And Hyunjin spots a ghost of a smile flit across your face, gone nearly as soon as it appears. The only evidence of it ever existing is the quickened heartbeat it leaves behind within him.
“You’re done, by the way,” you say, stepping aside. “Take a look.”
He slips out of his seat and moves closer to the vanity, peering at his reflection as curiously as if he’s never seen it before. But that’s how he’s felt since he started working with you.
Seojun was right: you are the best that the makeup industry has to offer. Hyunjin has come to understand this for multiple reasons. Your phone screen is incessantly illuminated by new notifications and incoming calls. The other stylists heed your advice like it’s the law. Brushes and pencils move like water when it’s you maneuvering them. And then some.
He would call what you have “talent,” but he knows it’s more than that. You show him a new version of himself every time you turn a mirror in his direction, like there are facets of him that are visible to you and you only. As much as he delights in the notion that you have such intimate knowledge of him, it should be impossible, considering you’ve only known him for two months. So no, it’s not just talent that you possess. It’s some combination of talent, hawkish perception, and raw artistry that is utterly inhuman—and sexy as fuck.
Speaking of sexy. Hyunjin’s look is relatively rudimentary tonight, the makeup light, the outfit a simple black tank top beneath a jacket and pants made of bright red velvet. But it’s the details that tie the whole thing together: the wide, loose sleeves causing the jacket to slip continually off his shoulders; the inner layer tight in all the right places. His face doesn’t look half bad either, with the sultry carmine powder that fringes his eyes and the intentionally mussed state of his hair. He pushes a hand through the dark locks, regarding himself with thorough appreciation.
You appear in his periphery as you start cleaning up your work station. “You can just take the jacket off when your sweat glands start malfunctioning, by the way. I thought you’d appreciate that detail.”
At this, his smize cracks into a laugh, the sound loud and uninhibited and uniquely yours to hear. “You suck.”
He looks away from his reflection just in time to glimpse another of your phantom smiles, and he thinks it’s so painfully on brand that the two times it’s appeared tonight have both been from you making yourself laugh. You might be the most insufferable person he’s ever met. He might be obsessed with you anyways.
“Well?” You implore. “What do you think?”
“No notes.” 
It’s the answer you’re expecting. You survey him from head to toe one last time, decide that you, too, are satisfied, and slip your makeup into your bag; hike its strap over your shoulder.
“I’ll see you after the show, then.”
You have an important conference call to attend before tonight’s concert, hence why Hyunjin had to come in early for hair and makeup. This is also the reason why the two of you have been the only people in the dressing room for the better part of an hour. 
It’s rare that he ever gets you alone, and he doesn’t want it to end. Not just yet.
“I lied, actually,” he calls. “I do have notes.”
You already have one foot out the door when you hear this, and you turn around so slowly and in such disbelief that he has to fight to constrain his laugh—the concept of imperfection is truly unthinkable to you. Insufferable, like he said.
“Do tell,” you say, dropping your bag back onto the floor.
“You have any jewelry for me?”
You chew on this for a moment. You did have a selection of necklaces prepared for tonight, but they were heavy and numerous, not exactly the best-suited for the group’s dynamic sets. You still like them, granted, and you know Hyunjin would as well.
You articulate all of this to him, and he asks if he can take a look at them anyways. “Come here, then,” you say, the words so tantalizing when they fall from your lips that nearly trips over himself trying to obey.
You take out a flat rectangular box from your bag and set it down in front of the lightbulb-studded mirrors. Hyunjin observes quietly as you show him its contents: three thick, gold chains with varying lengths and boasting different pendants, plus a beaded bracelet and an assembly of rings of the same material. His devious plan aside, he does love the selection.
“You’re sure you won’t be uncomfortable?”
He nods, and you pick up the longest of the three chains; turn to him expectedly. He takes this as his cue to move closer to you, except he overshoots a little, and he feels the tips of his shoes accidentally bump into the ends of yours; discerns the warmth emanating from your body against his own. He expects a withering glare, a kick in the shin, maybe, but you don’t seem bothered by the proximity at all, unblinking as you bring your hands around the either side of his neck and fasten the first necklace with a soft tap. Your fingers then brush over his collarbones to adjust the pendant, and he thinks your hands would have to be numb not to perceive the frantic heartbeat threatening to burst straight out of his skin.
Entire minutes pass before Hyunjin musters the courage to actually look at you. By then, you’re already working on the third and final necklace. It’s not a surprise that your face is mere inches away from his; he’s been watching your reflections out of the corner of his eye; he knows you’re closer to each other than you’ve ever been. But there are parts of you that the mirror doesn’t show—the soft curve of your lashes, the concentrated narrow of your eyes, the shapely protrusion of your pursed lips—and these surprise him so thoroughly that he slips and slides out of his right mind.
You are the type of beautiful that’s been around longer than humans have, the same as that of the true blue color of forget-me-nots. And Hyunjin feels enveloped, intoxicated by you from this minuscule distance. The idea forms numbly in his head that maybe, just maybe, he was put on this earth to admire you.
In this inebriated state, he makes a venturesome decision.
When you finish centering the last pendant upon the his chest, you are about to take a step back and review the updated look, but you’re debilitated by the feeling of fingers grazing over your hip—lightly, so lightly that you mistake them for a gust of wind at first, but the contact is enough to push the small of your back against the edge of the counter. Then, both of Hyunjin’s hands reach behind you, pressing flat against the marble surface, and, just like that, he has you right where he wants you, ensnared between cold stone and hot flesh.
And so begins an equilibrium so fragile that it’ll shatter if one of you so much as blinks the wrong way, your rattled breath fluttering against his lips, his eyes dark and hooded and out of focus as they survey the fine lines of your expression. It still doesn’t give you away (it never does), but he finds that in this moment he just doesn’t care.
“Let me take you out,” he murmurs. “One date.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” You reply under your breath.
“You know what I’m talking about, beautiful.”
Upon uttering that last word, he angles his head almost imperceptibly, the movement challenging, daring you to say something about it. But you don’t. You merely hiss out a whetted “you’re fucking crazy,” and that’s his opening to drag this on a little longer; push your limits a little more.
“About you? Damn straight.”
At this, finally, fucking finally, there is a semblance of something in your face that isn’t just your usual mildly-irritated nonchalance. Instead, he detects surprise in the whites of your eyes as you widen them; as you part your lips with a response that only comes much later.
And he’s surprised by your surprise. Surely, with your skills of observation, you would’ve noticed long ago how his world shrinks down to only you and your gorgeous voice and your confident glare and your shitty sense of humor whenever he’s been granted the privilege of your presence.
This might be the first time he’s admitted it out loud, but he hasn’t tried—hasn’t been able—to hide how he feels about you, not now, not ever. It’s been that way since the moment the sole of your shoe met the carpet of that conference room on the fourth floor of the JYP building.
 “Hwang—” You begin.
“Hyung!”
At the sound of a third, new voice, your arms tense like you’re about to shove Hyunjin off of you, but he only leans in further, so that his lips almost graze your jaw and your hands have nowhere to go except the taut surface of his chest. The surprise is gone; now you’re just pissed. He can feel the heat of your furious eyes and the tremor in your hands as you form fists around the fabric of his top. But he takes his sweet time in scooping up the bracelet and rings, and only afterwards does he pull away from you and straighten to his full height.
“Hey, Innie!” Hyunjin chirps, and Jeongin materializes in the doorway, looking thoroughly perturbed by the older boy’s sunny tone. “What’s up?” 
In the meantime, you turn around to snap the lid of your jewelry box shut, and it takes a singular glance in the mirror for a truly horrible realization to settle upon your shoulders. You don’t think anybody would be able to tell even if you announced it outright, but you know yourself and the little nuances of your face all too well.
You’re flustered.
You feel like a horror movie heroine breaking the fourth wall. 
“Nothing, weirdo. I was just announcing my arrival,” Jeongin says. Thank fuck you did, Hyunjin thinks to himself, completely unaware of the epiphany you’re having behind him. “Chan-hyung mentioned you were here already? Why?”
“She’s in high demand.” Hyunjin points out the she in question by jutting his chin in your direction. “The usual.”
“Ah.”
Jeongin inclines his head towards you in polite greeting. You return his hello, but your expression starts to feel tight when his eyes dart between the strange smile on Hyunjin’s face and your awkward stance (still glued to the edge of the counter) as he drops his duffel by the couch. The boy isn’t stupid, unlike his older counterpart.
“I saw a vending machine on my way here,” Jeongin says, turning to leave the room again. “You want anything, hyung? Noona?”
“I’m okay, thank you,” you say.
“I’ll have whatever you have,” Hyunjin says.
Jeongin flashes a thumbs-up and dips out of the room, perhaps a little more hastily than he intends to come across. And then there are two. Again.
You wait until you can’t hear his footsteps anymore, and then you turn to glower at Hyunjin so intensely that he thinks you’re about to place a curse on his whole bloodline.
Then, your phone starts vibrating, and he knows he’ll live to see another day.
“You still owe me an answer,” Hyunjin calls as you turn around and leave the room.
“Don’t hold your breath,” you reply.
One day, I’ll break her, is the predominant thought that resides in Hyunjin’s head as he slips on the remaining jewelry; watches your figure disappear around a corner. One day, I’ll break his face, is the predominant thought that resides in yours as you stalk away. That’s the two of you, in a nutshell.
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Six months ago. Osaka, Japan. 3:03 P.M.
When you walk into the dressing room, you find Haeun hunched over an overflowing photo album with her hands forming fists in her hair, muttering to nobody in particular, “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”
There’s an amused look in your eye as you set your bag down by Hyunjin’s empty vanity chair. She hasn’t noticed your presence yet; approximately three hallways down, the members are rehearsing for tonight’s performance on the main stage of the Kyocera Dome, and the music is so loud that you think you actually saw the walls vibrating while you were in the hallway moments ago.
You rise to your tiptoes and encroach upon her, waiting until she’s within reach to tickle the back of her neck. She nearly flies out of her seat with a shriek that can be heard over the heavy bass.
“Never gets old.” You hand her the photo album that went soaring also, and Haeun snatches it back with an affronted flourish.
“I can’t remember the last time you said hi to me normally, unnie.”
“Me neither, now that you mention it.”
Haeun and Han are your favorite stylist-idol duo in the world because they’re so eerily similar—and it’s adorable. They both illuminate every room they walk into; they both have grins too big for their faces, laughs too loud for their lungs. You always regret leaving your sunglasses at home when you catch sight of the effulgent pair.
But today you cannot detect the usual radiance in Haeun’s voice, nor so much as a hint of her easy grin. Then again, that’s another quality that she and her client share; they’re both well acquainted with the burdens that come with unwavering passion.
Every stylist has their own modus operandi. Haeun’s is a scrapbook of images that she cuts out and saves from catalogs, advertisements, newspapers, et cetera. You’ve seen it many times before, but never in such a state: messy handwriting stuffing the margins to their very brims, numbers and symbols like clusters of rainclouds over a sea of different outfits, arrows and circles and squares highlighting pant cuffs and cascade collars and dangling earrings. Telltale signs that Haeun hasn’t a clue as to what Han will be wearing tonight.
You gnaw on your lower lip, deliberating your next move. You end up placing a firm hand against the album’s cover and pushing it closed.
“Come with me,” you say. “We’re gonna try a new approach.”
Haeun opens her mouth to protest, but unfortunately you have an extensive track record of being right.
“What do you have in mind?” She sighs instead.
“You’ll see.”
With that, you stand up, tuck a small towel under your arm, and angle your head in the direction of the music.
The two of you make your way through the labyrinth of hallways that comprise the venue’s backstage. Eventually, the color of the floor changes from speckled white to solid black, and you step onto the part of the stage that is concealed from the audience by drawn curtains and heavy equipment. You say a quick hello to the group’s manager as you dip past him, and eventually reach the edge of the curtains, where you and Haeun have a good view of the eight members as they run through their setlist for tonight’s concert.
Haeun settles into the spot beside you, still confused as she follows your gaze. 
“Let me ask you this,” you say, just audible over the din. “Can you style a performer if you don’t know how he performs?”
And understanding seeps over her features like poured tea.
“I want you to watch him,” you continue. “Tell me how he performs.”
Han’s part begins, as if on cue. His voice rings out through the empty stadium as he ducks to the front of the formation, a microphone held loosely to his lips, his face taut with focus. Haeun stares at him for some time, silently trying to fathom her observations, but she sees you shaking your head in the corner of her eye.
“Don’t think, Haeun. Just speak.”
She blows out a deep breath before obliging. “It’s hard to picture Han doing anything but laughing or making other people laugh, he’s so goofy and lighthearted most of the time. But he’s like a different person on stage. He’s so intense, it’s almost intimidating. Not intimidating in a douchey way, though—you just get the impression that he’s very confident in himself and his music.
You don’t say another word, but don’t need to. She’s hit her stride.
“His voice and enunciation are so clear. It’s crazy how he sounds exactly like the studio recording. Plus, his delivery feels genuine; he’s not just reciting lyrics, but speaking straight from his heart.
“And this is gonna sound bad, but I didn’t know Han could dance. Like, yeah, I knew that he could dance, but not like this. His movements are so sharp that I feel like my attention is being—”
Right there.
She cuts herself off, reaching the same conclusion.
“It’s his turn to talk, and he wants you to cling to his every word," Haeun articulates slowly. "He’s demanding your attention. He needs you to listen. That’s how he performs.”
A satisfied smile bolts across your face like lightning. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Haeun pictures her scrapbook again, and there are now only a few articles of clothing and accessories that fit the framework you’ve helped her forge. She’s almost dizzy with disbelief, tearing her eyes from Han to look at you instead.
“You’re brilliant, you know that?”
“I do, but I appreciate the reminder.”
She can’t help but giggle. It’s a you answer if she’s ever heard one. “Do you do that with all of your clients?”
Haeun asks the question arbitrarily, without thinking. But you respond in a way that she doesn’t think she’s ever witnessed before, and she’s momentarily baffled by the sight: you hesitate.
As the song’s final chorus approaches, Hyunjin is the one folding himself into the center of the eight-person throng. You can only see his back from this angle, but even then it’s palpable how expertly and effortlessly he molds his body to the modulations of the music; how much fervor and feeling he expresses with every jerk of his spine and flex of his hands.
Within a few short seconds, innumerable descriptors and sensations skim the surface of your mind—but one word knocks the rest clean out of the water, the way it always does when you watch Hwang Hyunjin perform.
Artistry.
“No,” you reply. “Not all of them.”
And where better to find inspiration than inspiration himself?
Haeun furrows a brow, understandably puzzled by this response, but you don’t elaborate. Partially because you feel like being coy, but mostly because you know that any explanation you offer will sound like a confession.
The song ends, leaving your ears ringing with the abrupt absence of sound. The members hold their poses with heaving shoulders, staring out into the empty stands until the stage manager’s voice comes through the monitors.
“And that’s a wrap! We’re all set for tonight. Good work, everyone.”
There is a ripple of movement around the stage as the boys relax. Jeongin jogs over to Minho, hoping to review a particularly challenging dance break; the manager asks Chan if he has a second to discuss travel logistics; Seungmin plops onto the edge of the stage and downs the rest of his water; Hyunjin beelines toward you the second he sees you, because of course he does.
You get a good look at him as he skips closer. Stray blonde locks plastered against his damp skin, tank top dyed several shades darker by the perspiration rolling down his neck, the muscles of his arms actually rippling as he swings them around stupidly, a shit-eating smile plastered across his stunning face.
You’re annoyed before he says a word.
“I didn’t know they were letting fans backstage now,” he hums happily. “Want an autograph, gorgeous?”
“Put a sock in it.” You whisk the towel you’ve been holding in his direction. “Wet freak.”
But he catches and tosses it over his shoulder straightaway, and your heart sinks to your fucking ankle. You’ve seen this movie before. You know how it ends.
“No.” You take a shaky step back. “No, nope, don’t even think about—”
The next thing you know, Hyunjin is lunging towards you and winding his arms around your waist, nearly sweeping you clean off your feet as he pulls you into his sweaty embrace. To your complete dismay, your face presses flat against the clammy plane of his chest. “Call me a wet freak again, go on,” he manages to say through his laughter. 
In response, one of your hands wriggles free of its slippery prison and snatches the cuff of Hyunjin’s ear with impressive accuracy. He yelps and loosens his hold on you, but doesn’t relent completely, not even when he catches sight of the murderous expression on your face and cackles so forcefully his whole head is thrown back.
You tighten your grip. “Wet,” you seethe, “freak.”
“Ow—okay, don’t make it hot, what’s wrong with you?”
“Wha—what’s wrong with YOU?!”
As the two of you dissolve into your fatuous arguing, Haeun is no longer sure that she’s still standing here. She’s not even sure if she’s in her right mind anymore. She thinks she might be hallucinating the way everything about Hyunjin softens next to you, or the way your biting tone only seems to nibble when it’s him on the receiving end.
“Psst. We’ve been placing bets on them. You want in?”
Han suddenly materializes next to Haeun, and she would have been jumpscared into a different dimension if she wasn’t so fixated upon the bizarre occurrence before her.
But what if she’s not hallucinating?
No, not all of them, you’d said, like you were disclosing a forbidden secret.
“Yes,” she says, and Han beams. “Absolutely.”
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Three months ago. Seoul, South Korea. 2:26 A.M.
On a tranquil Saturday night, you’re sitting at your desk, your knees tucked to your chest, the newest episode of your drama playing quietly on your laptop, a half-empty glass of rosé and open sketchbook laid before you. This is your happy place—a safe haven that the trials and tribulations of the real world can’t reach. But you think you’ve really gone and lost your mind when you find yourself thinking about your job.
Well, not your job, exactly. More like the man who makes your job feel fucking Sisyphean.
You know your way around fabric and foundation better than anyone, but you have never struggled with anything as much as you have trying to navigate Hyunjin. You show up to work every day ready to just put some makeup on the man; instead, you wind up stumbling around the potholes of his dimples and the hills of the veins that run over his forearms and hands like a hopeless drunkard. Scouring the creases of his smile and the oscillations of his voice like they’re topographical maps. Mentally replaying your interactions with him time and time again like you’re monitoring security footage, trying to detect illicit activity in every casual touch he leaves on your shoulder or waist; every babe or gorgeous he throws your way, seemingly without a second thought.
You’ve been trying to understand him and his intentions for seven months now, and your efforts have yielded no fruit whatsoever, save for a few theories that you feel insane for even humoring.
You down the rest of the blush-colored liquid, and as you set down your empty glass you notice your fingers itch with a familiar urge. The pen that you’ve been twirling over your knuckles stills, then swivels; its tip hovers over the last free corner of the sheet of cartridge paper below you. And then it presses upon the surface and starts to move, as naturally as if on its own.
When you were little, you came across a children’s book that you no longer remember the name of, about a little girl with a magical pen that brought her every drawing to life. You decided then that you would one day be that girl.
At some point, the subjects of your incessant sketching became almost exclusively runway models and makeup advertisements. You cemented that you wanted to work in fashion as early as your high school graduation, and by then you already possessed the conviction and charisma of the industry’s most experienced members. Your portfolio was stellar; your personality prophesied of wild success. So your career took off, propelled by the neverending positions and projects that various companies continually laid before your feet.
You stand and pad to your kitchen to refill your glass, only to bring the entire bottle of wine back to your room instead. With one hand, you flick the cap off and lift the whole thing to your lips; with the other, you seize your pen again, not wanting to lose momentum.
For the year or so after you joined the industry, you basked in your idyllic prosperity. Even the doodles you scrawled on random napkins during banal business lunches would appear on some of the world’s most renowned faces the next week. You had indubitably become the little girl from your story; made a career out of giving your imagination tangible form. And what a fruitful career it was going to be.
If only you knew how it would strengthen you in ways you never wanted.
The first time someone called you cold, it took you a while to realize that they were talking about you. The phrase was said so casually and lightheartedly that it sounded at first like a piece of unimportant small talk. But the whisper of cold bitch was then followed by a bout of stifled laughter and what was undoubtedly your name. Your heart stopped along with your footsteps, and you looked towards the source: two interns whose names you had yet to learn, while yours was already in their mouths.
You felt nothing until you were three stops away from your apartment, and then the bottom of the subway gave out beneath you and suddenly you were feeling everything. Only confusion, hurt, and rage at first, but then the other emotions that you’d been smothering tirelessly for who-knows-how-long tore free of their cerebral shackles too, and together they formed an amalgamation of anxiety that closed up your throat within seconds. 
As your pen studs details into a shapely jawline, you remember how you’d shoved your way off the subway and made a mad dash into the night air. You remember how you collapsed against a utility pole in an unfamiliar neighborhood, how your knuckles paled around the ashen wood, how your tears tumbled over your lips and salted your tongue. You remember wanting to go home so badly that you thought your ribcage would cave in on itself with the weight of it. You remember begging for air, for you.
By the time the oxygen had returned to your lungs, the streets were empty save for you, crouched on the curb, your face buried in your arms, spent, shattered, and alone. You were only nineteen at the time.
You are now twenty-two, and the word “cold” has become a regular guest in the lodgings of your heart. You never invite it over, but you’re no longer surprised to find it at your door. It’s a thief, swiping pieces of you when it thinks you’re not looking—a fragment above the fireplace, a scrap from the cracks between the couch—and you know whenever you’re being robbed, know that you lose parts of yourself upon its every visit. But better that than acknowledging what you lose.
You allow it to walk away with full pockets every time.
Hyunjin does not.
“Three words to describe yourself. Go,” he said a few days ago, the two of you heading back to the tour bus after a filming session. 
You were so used to these irrational inquiries of his that you didn’t bother trying to dodge this one. “You first.”
“Smart, sexy, suave,” he said immediately, but burst into a sheepish laugh at the sight of your weary glare. “Fine, fine, let me think. Ambitious, for one. Introspective, definitely—maybe overly so. And artistic. I’d like to think so, at least. Satisfied?”
The most creative person you knew doubting his own ingenuity was absurd to you, but you nodded begrudgingly. It was a good answer, for the most part.
“Now you.”
Honestly, the thief had surfaced the moment you heard the question, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to inform Hyunjin of its existence. Not because you didn’t trust him—you did, more than you had anyone in years—but because you didn’t know what you’d do with yourself if he agreed. You weren’t sure your heart would be able to take it.
When you met the boy’s gaze, though, the carob brown of his eyes was so curious and so comforting that you suspected that was never a possibility.
“Cold,” you mumbled. “I’ve been called cold before.”
There was a pregnant pause. You found yourself holding your breath. And then—
“That’s a joke, right?”
Hyunjin began to count off his fingers.
“Mean. So mean. Impossibly, infuriatingly confident. Talented, stubborn, strong. Funny, sometimes, I guess, though I’d rather you hit me with a metal pipe than admit that ever again.”
At this, you caved; a laugh erupted from your lips, leaving a genuine smile in its wake.
“Determined. Eloquent. Bossy. Some kind of evil, twisted genius. Contemplative, caring, compassionate. Fearless,” he went on. “You get my point. You’re a lot of things, Y/N, but cold isn’t one—”
He was about to say something mind-numbingly stupid. You could sense it in the air.
“—and not just because you’re hot.”
You smacked his bicep, the smile on your face now an uninhibited, helpless grin. And as he vanished into a fit of high-pitched laughter, you thought you sensed him crack open your door and slip your missing artifacts back to their rightful places.
Hyunjin began to climb into the bus, and you caught the cuff of his sleeve, your feet still planted on the pavement.
“Thank you,” you said.
The tremors of his fond chuckle traveled to your very core.
“Idiot,” he sighed softly.
Idiot, you write, and the drawings are complete. 
When you stand up, the bottle is mostly gone—and so are you. You splash some water on your face in lieu of your skincare routine and prod the inside of your mouth a few times using a dry toothbrush, and then you dive beneath your duvet and are dead asleep in minutes. Your slumber is interrupted only by dreams of a world where your theories about Hyunjin aren’t just theories.
If you’d had even one mouthful less of rosé, you might’ve remembered that you picked up your phone and opened your most recent conversation somewhere between steps two and three.
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[3:10 A.M.] To: Hwang Hyunjin (Stray Kids, JYP) Audio Message.wav
Hi. I’m drunk and I’m going to regret this tomorrow. But that’s tomorrow’s business. There’s something I need to tell you tonight.
After I moved to Seoul, I used to get these bouts of homesickness. Not in a standard ‘I wanna go home’ kind of way, but in a way that felt like a hole had opened up in the ground below me. I was always ready for it to swallow me alive. I would’ve been happy for it to.
But I haven’t felt that way since I met you. I realized this not too long ago, and it threw me for a fucking loop. I’ve never felt seen the way you see me. I’ve never been known the way you know me. Every time I look at you or hear your voice, it feels so much like returning home that I don’t have to dream of it anymore.
You called me fearless the other day, but you’re wrong. I’m terrified. I’m terrified that history is going to repeat itself, that another home will slip through the cracks between my fingers and there will be nothing I can do to stop it. And that’s why I’m so hesitant towards you, towards whatever this is, because I don’t want to go through that ever again.
So the thing I need to tell you is that I care about you. I care so much that I’m scared speaking it into existence will make it real and vulnerable to all the worst parts of the world. But it’s not speaking it into existence if I’m drunk, right? Maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ll never even hear this. So it doesn’t count. That’s how that works, surely.
Sorry if this was totally nonsensical. And sorry that I’m so bad at feelings. You must think I’m impossible, and I don’t blame you.
Good night, Hyunjin. Thank you, again.
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One month ago. Los Angeles, United States. 12:37 A.M.
When Hyunjin steps out of the hotel’s tall glass double doors, he’s wearing a teatree facemask, and his bags are draped over the crooks of his elbows like he’s an upper-echelon socialite on his way back from a lavish shopping spree. And then he sees you standing next to the curb, and the situation dawns on him in bits and pieces.
You’re the only one here. The vans that were supposed to take you to the airport are nowhere to be seen. Boarding begins in four minutes.
A soft flinch crimps his features. Oops.
“Tomorrow night,” you’re saying into your receiver, but your attention is on him only, your penetrative gaze putting the dead in deadpan. “The absolute earliest. You’re sure?”
When you finish listening to the manager’s response, you heave a sigh that sags your shoulders and end the call with a jab that should’ve splintered your screen protector.
Then, you start walking towards him.
“Hi,” Hyunjin says, his eyes pleading for mercy. “You are so talented and beautiful. I don’t tell you that often enough, do I?”
He expects you to grab him by the cuff of his ear again, to throw him a retort that’s twice as mean as it is witty, something along those lines. But you merely push your suitcase in his direction, and it is then when he notices that your face is hard enough to chip enamel; that your eyes are eerily, entirely empty. The tendril of warmth that’s always dancing among the subtleties of your expressions, that he’s always pursuing to the very borders of his dreamscapes, is nowhere to be seen.
A shiver travels down Hyunjin’s spine as he curls his fingers around the plastic handle.
Something’s not right.
“We’re gonna have to stay here another day,” you say. “Can you check us in? I have some calls to make.”
“Us?” Hyunjin repeats.
“Junghan could only reserve one room,” you reply, your phone already glued back to your ear. “The hotel is fully booked for the next few months.”
With that, you’re already preoccupied with the next thing, turning to the side to reschedule a meeting. But Hyunjin can only stare blankly at your profile, trying and failing to grasp that he’s going to spend a night with the subject of his every daydream. Though you might be leaning more towards the nightmare end of the spectrum at the moment, considering the way your head snaps back in his direction like a woman possessed.
Go, you mouth, and he obliges.
A few minutes later, Hyunjin is in the elevator by himself. He speculates it’s an ingenious, intentional choice that the lights are turned off, so that whoever’s inside can watch the psychedelic lights of Los Angeles sprawl further and wider the higher they go. But he can’t think of anything except for the subzero nothingness where your irises should’ve been.
Hyunjin’s initial guess was that he crossed a line with this missed plane, but the more he thinks about it the clearer it becomes that this isn’t an isolated issue. It’s the culmination of something bigger. Something continuous.
You have become as familiar to him as the lines of his eyes or the ridges of his knuckles. He’s learned where to look for your feelings when he can’t find them in your face; studied your words and the undertones of your voice like they’re verses of scripture. Yet, it was around two months ago when Hyunjin looked at your side profile and couldn’t recognize you. He’d blinked, startled, and then you’d asked why he was looking at you so strangely, and everything returned to normal. He wrote it off as a side effect of sleep deprivation and paid it no more mind that day.
Except it happened again a few days later; again, not too long after, and Hyunjin began to suspect that he was losing his mind. You didn’t seem all that different—a bit more taciturn than usual, maybe, but you’d been busier than usual, too, your workspace always full of empty coffee cups by the end of the day, the pages of your planner more colorful and crammed than ever. The minor variances never struck him as a reason for worry.
“Stupid,” Hyunjin whispers bitterly.
He replays your interaction one more time. You, shoving your suitcase against his palm, telling him to go check in. Him, fastening his hand around the handle, sensing the bottomless void within you, feeling like he’d been dismissed from before your throne.
As he steps off the elevator and walks towards your designated room, he doesn’t understand how or why—but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s failed you.
Nearly an hour passes. The room only has one bed, so Hyunjin turns off the lights, folds himself onto the armchair by the floor-to-ceiling window, drapes a complimentary robe over his shoulders, and tries to sleep. He doesn’t know why he even tries. He’s exhausted, but he knows damn well there’s no hope of him getting any rest until he has you in his proximity again.
He doesn’t look at the door when he finally hears it open, but the knot of tension in his chest comes undone as soon as your silhouette appears in the hallway. He takes out his first real breath since leaving you at the hotel’s entrance.
You hear the sound it makes. You fall still.
“Hyunjin?”
His heart physically aches at how tired you sound. “Yeah?”
“Oh, you’re awake,” you answer. “Move to the bed. You’re not sleeping on that thing.”
He remains where he is, his chin resting on the side of his fist, his eyes glued to the flickering panorama of neon lights below him. You crouch to unzip something, and there’s a heavy thud of metal meeting cloth, presumably your laptop being tossed onto the bed’s mattress.
“Hello? Did you—”
“Is everything okay?”
A short pause follows his interruption.
“I still have a few emails to write, but everything’s been rescheduled, so as long as you don’t miss tomorrow’s flight, too, we should be—”
The robe slides off his lap as he pushes himself to his feet. “That’s not what I mean.”
The only source of light in the room is the lone light above the entrance, but it’s enough for him to see your face and the surprise etched upon it. You open your mouth, utter one syllable, and stop yourself immediately after, stunned into silence by the sobriety in Hyunjin’s expression.
“Enlighten me, then,” you say finally.
“You really don’t know?”
“What is there to know? That you missed a flight and pissed me the fuck off? Trust me, I’m aware.”
“No, that’s not—”
“So what are you talking about, then? Why are you talking in riddles? Fuck, what is it that you want from me?”
There’s real frustration in your voice, and it’s the first time you’ve shown him any emotion in pure, unadulterated form. With this, Hyunjin understands that he was right; this conversation is heading towards a culmination of some kind, and so are you, with the devastating force of a natural phenomenon.
He wonders if you’re prepared to destroy yourself, too.
“I know how you are around me,” you whisper. “You’re always acting like you’re trying to unearth something, and I figure this ‘something’ must be wonderful, because you look at me like I’m made of stars; you speak to me like you’re serenading a lover. But I am constantly, ceaselessly haunted by the possibility that this ‘something’ doesn’t exist, that you’re looking for the wrong thing in the wrong person. 
“I know it’s selfish to ask for anything more than what you’ve already given me—you’re so kind, Hyunjin, and you’ve been nothing but since the day we met. But grant me one more wish, even if it is the last time you ever do.
“Tell me what you see in me,” you plead. “Otherwise, I will spend the rest of my life mourning the months of yours that you wasted on me.”
With that, it occurs to Hyunjin, falls upon and cracks open his mind like a piece of firewood, that you have never been aware of—never asked for—the throne you sit upon.
For an indeterminate amount of time, the two of you stay there, standing in silence on opposite sides of your dark hotel room. You haven’t felt anything like this in a long time, your chest heaving with your heavy breaths, your vision muddied by both the lack of light and the desperation searing through your windpipe. 
When Hyunjin finally begins to speak, his words wrest the oxygen from your lungs.
“After you moved to Seoul, you used to get these bouts of homesickness.”
Your mind careens; your heart reels. 
“They came in a way that felt like a hole had opened up in the ground below you.” He takes a tentative step towards you. “You thought it was going to swallow you alive. You would’ve been happy for it to.”
You never got to listen to your voice note. You were blacked out when you recorded it and horrified when you discovered it in your chat logs the next morning; the wretched thing was unsent so quickly that you couldn’t check for a read receipt.
But there’s not a doubt in your mind that these are your words falling from Hyunjin’s lips.
“You haven’t felt that way since you met me, though.” He is only a few feet away from you now, and getting closer still. “You’ve never felt seen the way I see you. You’ve never been known the way I know you.”
God, you said that? Did you propose to him too?
“You’re terrified that another home will slip through the cracks between your fingers and there will be nothing you can do to stop it.” Hyunjin flattens his left hand upon the drywall next to your ear; pushes you back ever-so-gently against the hard surface. “I must think you’re impossible.”
And he brings his face so, so close to yours; looks at you with so much adoration, so much tenderness, that you feel the final bulwark around your heart fracture—
“I don’t,” Hyunjin breathes, cradling your cheek, “because you’re not. And I want to prove it to you, even if it takes me the rest of my life. That’s what I see in you.”
—and crumble.
You form fists in the lining of his hoodie. Hyunjin’s hand tightens where it lays over the curve of your jaw.
When you crash your lips upon his, he tastes the metallic sheen of electricity and the salt of tearwater both; he witnesses crying lightning, for the first time in human history.
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Present day. Cannes, France. 9:15 P.M.
Hyunjin never thinks when he fucks you. 
One part of it is that he physically can’t; his cognitive facilities shut down when he has you quivering beneath him, like his desire to pleasure you is too overwhelming for his mind to bear. The other part is that he doesn’t want to. He’s afraid that the voices of cynicism and trepidation that plague his mind every waking moment will taint the actualization of his wildest dreams.
Lucky for him, you manage to erase his mind on a daily basis with only one accidental touch or an apparition of a smile, so he doesn’t stand a chance whenever you let him between your legs.
“Trust me?” He whispers, imprinting the words upon the inside of your thigh.
“More than anyone,” you breathe, and just this has him tenting against his satin slacks.
Hyunjin used to see you scolding managers or moving racks twice your weight and think that was you in your element—tonight, he learned otherwise. You were so confident that even just the way you puffed your chest out prompted heads to turn and low voices to ask for your name; so charming that even by the end of your self-introduction you had every guest you spoke to eating out the palm of your hand. 
Eating out your pussy, though, is Hyunjin’s privilege alone.
He wraps his fingers around the hem of your dress and pushes it upwards, creating a halo of red fabric around your midriff; slides your panties off your legs and tosses them over his shoulder. All obstacles out of the way, Hyunjin winds his arms around your thighs and pins your hips to the mattress, slotting himself between your knees as they fall apart. Your ankles fold over the top of his head, and you’re about to ask if he’s okay like this, but then you feel the hot muscle of his tongue trace over your dripping folds—and every word of every language you’ve ever known is dispelled from your brain and your mouth in the form of a stuttered, euphoric moan.
He teases you first, drags his mouth over you so that he’s lapped up all of your slick, and just when you feel your patience thinning he pulls you apart with reverent hands and begins to suckle on your clit, as attentive to your every solicitation as always. You arch your back so high off the bed that your ankles knock Hyunjin’s head down a few inches, but the new angle is even better; grants him access to more of you.
He reinforces his grip around you, presses his torso right up against the side of the mattress, and gorges: sluices your labia until you’re spilling from his chin onto the sheets; flicks against your bundle of nerves until it’s pulsating and swollen on his mouth; fucks his tongue against your favorite spot until you’re curling your toes, seeing the whole solar system. 
“Coming,” you blabber after some time. Tell me something I don’t know, he thinks to himself. “Coming, Hyune. I’m—fuck—”
Hyunjin is aware of the way you clench so hard around nothing that your pelvis hurts. He is aware of the way you’re so dilapidated from pleasure that you’re genuinely struggling to breathe. He doesn’t care. He wants to get the cadences of your climax tattooed into the gray matter of his brain, and there can’t be rests in the sheet music, can there?
He presses a hand flat on your stomach in preparation for your body’s protest, then returns his face to its place between your thighs; starts to leave kitten licks around the edges of your puffy folds before you can finish riding out your high. You press your tongue against the back of your front teeth, emitting a pained hiss as you draw a sharp breath, tears stinging at your eyes.
“Son of a bitch—”
“Trust me?” He asks again, his voice vibrating against your sore cunt, and your complaints quiet into whimpers as you bring a hand over your quivering mouth, and nod. 
At least Hyunjin bridles his thirst the second time he eats your pussy open, his lips smacking openly and slowly over your every inch except the one that would be truly unbearable for you right now. He’s so rough and so fucking careful at once like he can’t decide between obliterating and worshipping your cunt.
He’ll end up doing both.
Within a few minutes, your legs have gone slack on either side of Hyunjin once again, and another coil has begun to tighten behind your bellybutton, equal parts pain and pleasure—but he knows your pussy just as well as he does your person by now, and it’s not long before the former is compounding with the latter.
Round two has a faster ascent and a steeper drop. He finds your spot again with the precision and ease of a trained marksman and fixates upon it like a man starved. It has your cries devolving to incoherent profanities and, to his unfettered delight, your foot actually shaking, your heel tapping against the back of his neck every time it comes down.
As if referencing a metronome, Hyunjin matches the rhythm of his tongue to your accelerando. Only when your leg is nearly convulsing does he wrap his lips back around your clit; slide two fingers into the place he leaves empty and pumps them into you until you are liquifying, igniting around him, your mewls lamenting the second orgasm he plucks from your core.
After your body has stilled, Hyunjin lifts his head, his face drenched in perspiration and saliva and you. His eyes travel over the slopes of your arms and the hills of your breasts, over the tears streaming from your eyes and staining the pillow you lie on. It is this last bit that has him shrugging off his shirt and undoing his dress pants with one hand, palming his throbbing cock with the other.
He clambers over you, and the kiss that follows is filthy, your mouth falling apart when he rolls your nipples between his fingers, strands of spit suspending between your tongues before dripping down onto your collarbone. You can sense what he wants in his craving lips, his pleading tongue—and you know he won’t ask for it. He’s tested you enough tonight; he’d rather your comfort than his pleasure.
But you guide his leaking head to your entrance, returning his stupefied look with a watery smile.
“Love me?” You ask this time, for the first time.
There is not even a nanosecond of hesitation when he answers, “with everything in me.”
He comes inside you the moment he bottoms out, your name leaving his lips in breathless, desperate repetition like a broken prayer as he topples off the same cliff he’d dropped you from moments ago. You curl a hand in his hair as he stutters against you, bring your lips flush against his ear, and whisper that you love him too—and the sight of you beneath him blurs he also starts to tear up.
This is the reality Hyunjin lives in, presumably because he was a saint in his past life, and it would be his utmost pleasure to see it through.
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Two years later. Milan, Italy. 11:28 A.M.
For the last half hour, a ray of sunlight has repeatedly struck the diamond that sits between the second and third knuckle of your ring finger, and the Vogue journalist on the other side of your desk thinks he is slowly losing his vision. But when he asks his final question, your hand comes to a much-appreciated stop, the fountain pen you’ve been twirling around clattering to your tabletop.
“Where do you find your inspiration?” 
As the journalist blinks the phosphenes from his eyes, he finally manages to get a good look at the face of Versace’s newest designer, and he detects something ineffable and warm in your expression.
“My inspiration, hm?” You fall silent for a short time, thinking. “If you asked me this at the start of my career, I’d have said ‘people.’ Their postures, their expressions, their wardrobes. I knew I was a goner when I watched a fashion show for the first time and noticed how the models’ attire helped them harness their innate power and grace—I wanted to orchestrate that kind of symbiosis, too. In that aspect, nothing has changed, actually. I still find wonder in human beings, and not just the ones on the runway. I think it would be difficult not to, don’t you?
“Some time ago, a good friend of mine was having trouble with an outfit for her client. She asked me a similar question, and only then did I realize that it was no longer just people that inspired me most, but a singular person. I had always been skeptical of the idea of a ‘muse’ until I met him. But I could only spend so long denying how he ventured closer to my soul than anything ever had, how he knew me and saw me like nobody ever could. He understood my art. He was my art, so—”
Your eyes dart over your ring, and the journalist would’ve flinched out of habit if he wasn’t so mesmerized by your eloquence.
“—where better to find inspiration than inspiration himself?”
A few seconds elapse, and then you clear your throat and straighten your back, returning to your office from your trip down memory lane. 
“That’s the long answer, anyways. The short answer would be my fiancé.”
The journalist laughs, and he doubts you’ll give him this next piece of information—but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try.
“And who would that be?”
He’s right. You don’t answer the question. But you do flash him an enigmatic smile, and for some reason it reminds him of lightning.
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© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other works here. thanks so much for the support ♡
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dycefic · 1 year
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The Hearthstone God
[The sequel to the God of Prophecy, and the Serpent God of Protection]
---
Fire is out of fashion, in this new age.
Some of my kind have found new homes, new names, in factories or forges, in the hearts of wildfires or crystals or volcanoes.
Most of us are simply forgotten.
I was a fire god, once. A god of gathering, a god of communion, a god of song and story. But there are no hearthstones now. No fires around which families gather to eat and talk and tell stories.
I am lucky. I am tied to a great flat stone near a lake. A lake that has survived all the wild exuberance of men, when they learned to change the world around them. Once, this was a place where travellers stopped to rest. At first they travelled on their feet, or on half-wild horses. Then there were carts, and a road. Much later, cars drove down the road. The road was paved.
But some things do not change. People need clean water to drink, and the spring here is good. They need to rest, when they are weary. And even now, when they come to camp in nylon tents, to fish in the lake, or to hunt the ducks, or drive camper-vans to the flat place, their ancient instincts wake, and they turn to fire once more. They light new fires atop my stone, so flat and safe, from which no log will roll to set the woods afire.
Not so many come now. Camping is less popular these days. But some still come. Some still light their fires, and settle around my stone, and talk, or listen to music, or tell stories. So I survive, just barely, on the edges of belief.
I feel it, when things begin to change. Something is happening. Something is drawing old gods back. Not the great ones, risen beyond mortal understanding, but the oldest gods, the small gods, those who rose when humankind were still learning what they were.
Far to the west of me, a god even more ancient than I wakes, and begins to hunt again. I remember the stories that were once told of that old serpent, and tell them over to myself in the long fireless nights.
A god of prophecy, not of this land, settles south and west, and I remember tales of ancient ravens, their wisdom and their guile and their sharp, sharp eyes. There was a raven clan once, who passed this way in the days of skin garments and stone tools, but I have forgotten their name. I only remember the symbol they wore, the black bird with its spread wings, marked in charcoal or charring on wooden talismans or leather garments.
I wait, to see who will awaken next.
To my great surprise, it is me.
The people who come this time aren’t like the campers. They come at night, a ragged family group with few blood ties between them, with a single tent and few possessions carried on devices I haven’t seen before. Bicycles, they’re called, slung over with bags the way ponies used to be. They come at night, and hide when cars pass on the road.
They light a fire on my stone, with wood scavenged from the forest, and huddle around its warmth. They don’t speak much, not at first, but they say enough. They have no home, I learn. They are travellers of a kind I have not known before, who are allowed to stop nowhere, but have no goal but a place to rest. They are thin, and worn, and so tired. So very tired.
They need a hearth.
I am only a weak shadow of a god, now, who once recorded the songs and stories of a thousand generations in my ancient stone, but I am still a god of fire. Their fire burns slow, their little fuel lasting well. The food they heat over it sustains them better. The water of that spring, my spring, puts a little life back in them. This stone has lain in this place since great monsters walked this world, since before humans spoke words to one another, and I came into being with the first fire that burned on it. I am old, old, and though weak, I am not powerless.
They stay.
I cannot speak to them. I am old, and weak, and they do not believe. But slowly, with the power of the fires they build every night, with the tiny offerings of scraps of food spilled into the flames, with their growing confidence in the safety of this place, I am able to do more. I give them dreams and they find the cave not far away, where they can hide. They dream of fish, and begin to try to catch some. A woman remembers that some of the local plants are safe to eat, when I slowly wake a long-forgotten memory of a camping trip from her childhood.
And then a child, a strange, quiet child who rarely speaks, a child without mother or father, in the care of an older brother who is exhausted to the very edge of death but cannot give up while she needs him… that child begins to hear.
She sits on my stone, sometimes for hours, not moving or speaking. It worries the others, but at least she is quiet, at least she is no trouble, and they are beginning to associate their hearth with safety. So they let her sit.
She is *listening*. She is listening to the sound of the water, to the sounds of the forest, to the wind blowing. And because she is listening, where no-one else has listened for so long, I sing to her. I sing to her the songs of thousands of years. From the wordless music of the earliest people, who sang what was in their hearts without words, to the songs I have learned from the fishermen with their radios and bluetooth speakers.
I do not know if she hears me, for some time. But then, one night, while they sit around their fire and eat food the oldest have almost certainly stolen, she sings one of my songs. “In a cavern… on a canyon… excavating for a mine…” she sings in a small voice. The others are startled, confused, for she has not spoken aloud since some bad thing they do not name happened, but one of the older ones knows the song and sings with her.
I have always liked ‘Clementine’. It’s been popular with campers for a long time.
The next day, while she sits on my stone, she sings along to one of the wordless songs the Raven People whose name I no longer remember once sang. It is a lullaby, a soft croon to soothe an infant, passed from mother to mother, and she seems to take pleasure in it.
She can hear me. She can even answer me, as the voice driven away by pain and fear begins to return. And so I grow stronger still. Strong enough to make the raven sign on the stone, one day, in the ashes of the fire of the night before.
She takes a half burned stick, and draws the sign on the stone. Pleased, I show her another sign, a leaping fish. She draws that too.
Soon, I need not shift the ashes. I can show her the pictures in her mind, and she draws them. She draws the wheel of a cart, and into her heart I whisper the stories the travellers in covered wagons once told over my stone. She draws a fish, and I make her laugh silently with the jests of fishermen who boast of fish who escaped them. She draws a horse, and I tell her about the wild horses who once drank at this lake, about the men and women who captured and tamed them and rode them through the forest when it was far greater than it is now. She draws a long-toothed cat, and I show her the great cat that once slept on my stone, and denned in the cave where her new found family sleep.
One night, when all the others are asleep and my fire has burned down to coals, she creeps back to the stone and looks into the coals. “Who are you?” she asks. “Are you real?”
She is afraid that the voice in her mind is the voice of madness, a lie created by a mind that does not work like other minds, that has endured great hardship. I do not want this child to be afraid. To instill fear runs counter to my very nature, save in whoever might threaten those my hearth protects.
I am a god of the hearth. I am a god of food, and communication, and peace, and safety. I am all the things that fire used to mean, before humans learned again to fear the thing they had tamed. I do not often take a form, for fire is my form, but for her I must try.
There was a wise woman once, who knew me, whose clan visited this lake several times every year. I watched her grow up, and grow old. I watched her learn of the god of the fire stone, and I watched her teach others. She slept beside me as a child, and as a woman. She sang her children to sleep beside me, and her grandchildren, and dozed beside me as an old, old woman. To her, I was represented by a sign of a flame in an oval, a fire and a stone.
I build a likeness of her out of the light of the coals and the shadows of smoke, a child with straight dark hair and a simple tunic, and in lines of light I draw the sign of the fire and the stone on the outlined chest. “I am the fire,” I tell her, “and the stone. I am all the fires that have ever burned here, all the stories told, all the songs sung, all the meals eaten. I am the traveler’s hearth, and the rest for the weary, and this is my place.”
“Piedra de fuego,” she says, tracing the symbol with her finger in the air. “The fire stone.”
“Yes. I am the god of this place.”
She frowns at this. “My brother says that God is in the sky.”
“Many gods are in the sky.” I cannot continue to hold the form of the girl, but the coals shift to make my sign. “I am not. I am here. I have always been here, since the first people built a fire on my stone, and warmed themselves.”
She nods slowly. “You are… a small god,” she says thoughtfully. “A place god. Like in movies.”
“Yes.” I’ve heard of movies, which are a new way of telling old, old stories. “Old places, important places, often have gods. And gods who are forgotten return to their old places and wait, until someone believes again.”
“Will you protect us?” she asks. “When the police come, to tell us to move on?”
“I am not strong,” I tell her sadly. “I cannot make men go away from here, if they are dangerous, or even call game here for you as I once did. But what I can do, I will do.”
She sits watching the coals for a long time, thinking. “Can we make you stronger?”
I think too, and she waits patiently. “You have already made me stronger. You listened. You believed. If you can convince the others to believe, that will make me stronger still.”
She sighed. “They don’t believe in anything, anymore. Not good things.”
It is a sad thing, that she knows that. They’ve been trying to hide it from her. “Then,” I tell her, “that means there is a place in their hearts that is ready for me. I am not hope. I am not a happy ending. I am not a god in the sky. I am a stone, and a fire, and a song. I am *real*. They can believe in what is real.”
The next night, she asks for a story, and one of the adults tells her an old fairy-tale from a country far away.
The next night, again, she asks for a story, and another adult tells a funny story about his childhood.
On the third night, she asks her brother to tell her a story. He tries, but he is so tired - not physically, but emotionally - that he runs out of words. So she lays her hand on his arm and offers to tell him a story, instead.
And she tells them all a story about a stone near a lake, flat and strong, that people wearing uncured skins and carrying flint weapons built a fire on. She tells of centuries passing, of people coming to the lake on their feet, on horses, in carts and wagons, in cars and motor-homes. Of thousands of years of fires, of people gathered around them, of the great continuity of humanity, and the Piedra De Fuego that has lain in this place since time began, listening to the stories and the songs and the voices of people long gone. Somewhere in the stone, she says, laying her hand on it, all those stories are remembered. All those songs are still sung. And it will remember us too.
I don’t know if it will work. But I was right. People need to believe in something. They need something to hold onto, when times are hard, when the ties of community and family are broken and they feel alone. And a stone thousands of years old, and a fire endlessly renewed on that stone, always new… that is real. They touch me, and think of those who came before, of thousands of years of history meeting them in this place, and they feel less alone.
It’s not much, not yet. But it is something. My nature, my existence, as explained to them by my small, strange priestess, is a slender lifeline flung to those who are adrift, a tiny certainty in a world they do not trust. And the more they believe in that lifeline, that certainty, then the more they believe in me. I *am* growing stronger.
When the police come, I will not be able to make them leave… but I think I am strong enough now to hide my people from unkind eyes. And if I can do that, then their faith will grow.
Tonight, three more people come. A mother and two children, weary and beaten down with hardship. My people welcome them, give them fish and greens grown by the lake, speak kindly to them. And when they have eaten, my little priestess sits between the two children and tells them a story of a stone, and a fire, and thousands of years of stories and songs, and she sings a wordless lullaby six thousand years forgotten, but living again in a child who draws the sign of the Raven in the dirt while she sings, and the sign of the fire on the stone.
And I grow a little stronger.
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papiliotao · 1 year
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・❥・BEAUTY AMIDST AN ENDLESS NIGHT
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♡ — Reader: GN
♡ — Characters: Albedo, Alhaitham, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Tighnari, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli
♡ — Synopsis: on days where you feel as though the world is against you, your lover is there to cheer you up.
♡ — Content: fluff, modern AU, established relationship, generally soft
♡ — Word Count: around 200 per a character
♡ — A/N: the fact that I wrote this solely because I get sad for no reason sometimes. I'm sure there are people out there who can relate though. For anyone going through tough times, stay strong and keep going! I hope this fic will be able to cheer you up a little. (P.S. the parts for each character are arranged in alphabetical order if you're looking for anyone specific)
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As your boyfriend, it is both ALBEDO’s duty and pleasure to remind you how much you mean to him whenever melancholic feelings of dread weigh your heart down. You watch as he flips through the pages of a worn sketchbook sitting in his small art studio within your shared home. It is filled with the most wondrous portraits of landscapes, wildfires, and even people. However, Albedo completely disregards those works. Instead, he opts to point out particularly detailed drawings strewn throughout the sketchbook. Intersecting lines form picturesque depictions of the memories you share with Albedo. On one page, your first date. On another, your first night together. But it is the final page he shows you that causes you to raise an eyebrow at him. It seems to resemble a rather average day in your life. In the sketch, you and Albedo are conversing in a mundane setting; there’s really nothing special to be seen. When you ask your boyfriend about it, he allows a gentle laugh to escape the confines of his lips. Then, he points out all the finer complexities of the work. From the lovestruck expression on his face to the way he flawlessly replicated your every feature, you begin to realize how much Albedo thinks about you on a daily basis. Upon reaching this epiphany, the feelings of insecurity and bitter frustration that have been permeating every inch of your mind dissipate ever so slightly, and it’s all thanks to Albedo’s love.
On days where it feels as though you’re drowning in a sea of your own sadness, you are thankful for your lover’s relaxed demeanour. ALHAITHAM’s voice is the only sound that cuts through the tangible silence permeating the air of your living room. He recites complicated words adorning the pages of one of his rather verbose books as you sit beside him, leaning against his muscular figure. Although you can’t understand half the phrases that leave his lips, you feel at ease. His calm voice lulls you into a dreamlike trance, acting as a temporary ailment to the negative emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. So instead of paying heed to the disturbing feelings of deep melancholy that plague your fragile heart, you direct all your attention to the alluring sound of your loving speaking and the feeling of his body pressed against your own, allowing yourself to get lost in every single intricacy of his mannerisms — the very subtleties that you love him for.
Everything about today has felt rather off. Happiness eludes you, avoiding you like an ancient plague, causing feelings of unadulterated sorrow to bubble up within the depths of your soul. Although you’re trying to conceal all your woes behind a carefully-crafted mask of smiles and feigned lighthearted laughter, your facade is akin to porcelain — delicate and fragile, cracking under the slightest pressure. And to no one’s surprise, KAZUHA is able to see through your meticulously-designed illusion of exuberance instantaneously. The subtle sighs and breaks in your expression prompt him to drag you to bed as soon as you’re finished with your daily tasks under the guise that he wants to cuddle. In reality, he knows that you’re having a rather difficult time, and he wants nothing more than to hold you and kiss the pain away, so as of now, you are wrapped in his warm embrace as he continuously presses his soft lips to the back of your neck. His snowy hair tickles your skin as he comforts you, and between each chaste kiss, he whispers sweet nothings into your ear, assuring you that tomorrow, the sun will rise again, giving way to a brighter day full of ecstasy and warmth.
Some days you can’t help but feel as though the world has been obscured by veils of endless blue. Everything feels mundane, and you just can’t bring yourself to smile. Thankfully, even in moments as perturbed as these, you are able to seek a small bit of solace by confiding in SCARAMOUCHE. To others, he seems brash and insensitive, but when it comes to you, he is attentive beyond measure. So when signs of melancholy begin to show through the cracks in your demeanour, your lover drops what he is doing and turns his focus to you. He insists on taking you out to a mysterious location, and although skepticism floods your thoughts, you eventually give in, agreeing to trust Scaramouche despite his enigmatic musings. Your boyfriend drives you to a quaint location situated in the middle of nowhere by the light of the setting sun. As you exit his car, you are greeted by the scent of the evening air, refreshing and cool, just what you need after a long day of feeling down. Scaramouche intertwines his fingers with yours, grasping onto you like a lifeline. He pulls you through a sparse line of trees, and although the darkness of the night obscures your vision, you trust your lover to guide you. When you clear the grove of vegetation, you are met with a sight that causes your breath to catch in your throat. Scaramouche has brought you to a cliff in a secluded area overlooking the city. Millions of stars adorn the velvety royal blue of the night sky, illuminating the world below, and the lights that glitter from the distant urban area fill you with a sensation of nostalgic ease. As you sit down on the soft grass beside Scaramouche, a sense of calm washes over you. Here, beside your lover and under the watchful gaze of the luminous celestial bodies up above, you finally feel at peace.
Amidst restless hours filled with uncertainty and unwanted negativity, THOMA is like an effulgent light piercing through the darkness that clouds your mind. He caters to your every need, doing anything your heart desires in order to remedy your pain even the slightest bit. Right now, he is standing in front of the stove, his back to you as he attentively prepares a meal. A mouthwatering fragrance drifts through the air as he cooks, and the warmth that fills the kitchen from the stove melts the icy cage of sadness surrounding your heart ever-so-slightly. When Thoma finally finishes, he plates the food in a meticulous manner and then shifts all his attention to you. The steam from the fresh meal caresses your cold cheeks as your lover peers deep into your eyes, displaying to you a wondrous sea full of olive green lights as you lock gazes. Before you can thank him for making dinner, Thoma leans over the table and presses a tender kiss against your cheek — one filled with all the gentleness and comfort of the sun on hazy winter days, making even the harshest of stinging winds just a little more bearable.
Whenever the world seems grey, shrouded in the gloominess plaguing your heart, TIGHNARI never fails to restore the beauty of the vibrant hues around you by bringing you bright bouquets of delicate flowers. Vivacious translucent petals tickle your nose as you breathe in the floral scent of the blossoms you are holding in your hands. The perfumed aroma that fills the air causes the tension in your shoulders to relieve slightly. A sigh of contentment escapes your lips as Tighnari takes the flowers from you and places them in a vase. His fingertips brush against your hands, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. In a hushed voice, he begins to explain the symbolism behind each plant in the bouquet. From blush pink azaleas to the fragile and pure lily of the valley, your lover knows of the meanings behind each floret, listing them off one by one. You know that the only reason he’s rambling on and on is to distract you from the thoughts that wrack your restless mind, and for that, you are beyond thankful.
When VENTI first proposes the idea of going on a picnic, hesitance overtakes you. You know he’s just trying to cheer you up, but you’re not quite sure if you’re in the mood to go out. Nonetheless, he manages to convince you that leaving the confines of your house to breathe in the crisp, late spring air and surround yourself with the viridescent foliage of the outdoors will work wonders for your mood, so you allow him to drag you to the park, albeit somewhat begrudgingly. When you arrive at your destination, Venti sets a blanket down on the lush grass, and atop the checkered quilt, he places a weaved basket. Upon opening the basket, you discover that it is filled with all your favourite delectable treats, so despite the bitterness of the day, a small smile settles on your face. As you begin to grin, Venti sings you a song, imbuing each lyric with softness and tenderness, conveying to you that even in the darkest of hours, he will always be by your side. The wind tousles your hair as the sound of leaves rustling in a gentle zephyr rings out like a backing track to Venti’s angelic voice. For the first time that day, you feel a sense of ease settle over you.
XIAO isn’t great at comforting people, but each time he sees your empty expression, he feels his heart shattering into countless fractured crystal shards. Despite knowing that he’s not the most qualified to help you deal with your worries, you still decide to go to him to seek consolation, so in spite of the fact that he is rather inexperienced, Xiao tries his best. He tells you to rest and immediately tucks you into bed with a sweet yet endearingly shy kiss on the forehead. Before he leaves the room, he whispers a few honeyed words in a voice that somehow feels softer than usual, reassuring you that everything will be alright, and when he finally exits, he sets himself to work on all the unfinished chores around the house. He works diligently while you relax under the silky covers of your bed, and although it takes a while, when Xiao finishes with your trivial tasks, he joins you in bed, wrapping an arm around you and allowing you to bury your head in his chest, breathing in his comforting scent as you feel yourself drifting off into a blissful realm of alluring slumber.
On days where joy evades you, ZHONGLI never fails to find a way to comfort you. His presence alone is calming, but when coupled with his actions, you feel as though you can almost continue with your daily routine as usual. At the moment, you are sitting with Zhongli in your living room as your hands are wrapped around a teacup. Condensation graces your palms, and it would be unpleasant if not for the warmth seeping into your body through the delicate porcelain of the cup. As you take a sip of the drink, you allow an airy sigh of contentment to slip through your lips. It’s absolutely divine, reminiscent of the finest ambrosia, something straight out of the tales your lover is currently recounting. Your mind feels as though it is clinging onto his voice, hanging onto his every syllable to regain a sense of stability despite the fog that clouds your thoughts. He spins stories of downfalls and triumphs, some tales downcast while others inspirational, and in the midst of his narration, you find yourself transported to a different world full of fantasies — an oasis of reprieve hidden away from the monotonous and lamentable reality facing you.
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astrojulia · 9 months
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Asteroid Bella (695): Understanding its Signs and Houses
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Navigation:   Masterlist✦Ask Rules✦Feedback Tips
       Askbox✦Sources✦Paid Readings
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₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ About the Asteroid: Have I found something in my asteroid sources? No. In general sources, the asteroid Bella (695) talks about beauty.. and that's it, that's why I gave a deeper look into what beauty is to make this post.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Sources and inspirations:To make this post, I used what is seen as beauty in the aesthetic area, which goes beyond personal taste, which are factors such as: symmetry, proportion, youthfulness, ,familiarity and similarity, I also used the birth chart of women by the Golden Ratio. The image template in from minikyuns on deviantart.
Asteroid Bella by Sign
✧. ┊Aries: Bella's presence in Aries ignites a magnetic force, drawing attention with youthful exuberance and boldness. The face possesses an angular charm, arousing curiosity and daring others to keep up with the swift pace of life.
✧. ┊Taurus: Bella in Taurus unveils an embodiment of earthly beauty, where proportion and symmetry are paramount. Facial features are refined and harmonious, evoking a timeless allure that echoes the grace of nature itself.
✧. ┊Gemini: In Gemini, Bella's influence manifests as an ever-changing visage, versatile and captivating. The face carries an animated charm, often enhanced by lively expressions, reflecting a familiarity that spans diverse connections.
✧. ┊Cancer: Bella's energy in Cancer enhances the allure of familiarity, drawing on nostalgic appeal. The face emanates a warm and comforting vibe, inviting others to find solace in its welcoming features.
✧. ┊Leo: Bella takes center stage in Leo, radiating an undeniable facial magnetism. Symmetry reigns supreme, and the face exudes a captivating confidence, inviting admiration from all who gaze upon it.
✧. ┊Virgo: In Virgo, Bella lends an understated elegance to facial attractiveness. Subtle proportions and immaculate grooming enhance the visage, creating an allure that stems from a meticulous attention to detail. This placement carries the apex of proportion.
✧. ┊Libra: Bella's placement in Libra emphasizes the aesthetic balance and symmetry in facial features. Grace and charm exude effortlessly, drawing others in with an air of harmony and refined beauty. This placement carries the apex of symmetry.
✧. ┊Scorpio: Bella's influence in Scorpio manifests in an enigmatic and intense allure. Proportionality takes on an alluring edge, and the face carries an aura of mystery that beckons others to explore its depths.This placement carries something that we all like but is not on the standard list, the mystery of trying to understand that person's intentions, people thinks you're mysteryous and that's why they want to know more.
✧. ┊Sagittarius: In Sagittarius, Bella radiates a youthful and adventurous appeal. The face reflects the spirit of exploration, with features that embody the essence of wanderlust and open-minded curiosity.
✧. ┊Capricorn: Bella's presence in Capricorn bestows a dignified and refined attractiveness. Symmetry and proportion are elevated, resulting in a visage that commands respect and admiration, mirroring the aura of a wise elder. This placement has the quality of not being so apparent when the native is younger, but retaining youthfulness over the years.
✧. ┊Aquarius: Bella in Aquarius imparts an otherworldly allure, marked by unique and unconventional features. The face carries an eccentric charm, captivating others with its distinctiveness and originality.
✧. ┊Pisces: Bella's energy in Pisces lends an ethereal and dreamy beauty to the face. Proportions may be fluid and elusive, evoking a sense of enchantment that draws others into a world of imagination and sensitivity.
Asteroid Bella by House
✧. ┊1st House: With Bella in the 1st house, your physical appearance becomes a canvas of attraction. Proportion and symmetry manifest strongly, creating an aura of personal magnetism. Your face exudes youthful energy and a confident allure, drawing others to your charismatic presence.
✧. ┊2nd House: Bella's influence in the 2nd house enhances the allure of your possessions and values. Your facial features reflect the harmony of proportion, making your expressions an asset in both social and material realms.
✧. ┊3rd House: In the 3rd house, Bella enhances your communication style with facial expressions that speak volumes. Youthful charm and familiarity in your interactions draw people to engage with your ideas and stories
✧. ┊4th House: Bella's grace in the 4th house infuses your home and family life with a comforting beauty. Your facial features may hold a resemblance to family members, evoking a sense of shared familiarity and connection.
✧. ┊5th House: Bella's presence in the 5th house adds a touch of artistic allure to your self-expression. Your face becomes a canvas for creativity, exuding an irresistible charm that sparks romance and infuses your creative endeavors with aesthetic appeal.
✧. ┊6th House: With Bella in the 6th house, your health and daily routines become more harmonious and attractive. Your facial proportions may reflect a commitment to self-care, inviting others to take note of your disciplined approach.
✧. ┊7th House: Bella's energy in the 7th house enhances the attractiveness of your partnerships. Facial symmetry and proportion play a significant role, drawing others to your side with a sense of familiarity and compatibility.
✧. ┊8th House: In the 8th house, Bella's allure takes on a mysterious and transformative quality. Your facial features hold an enigmatic charm, inviting others to explore the depths of your persona and engage in meaningful connections.
✧. ┊9th House: Bella's influence in the 9th house bestows a worldly and adventurous attractiveness. Your face carries the glow of youthful curiosity, enticing others to join you on journeys of both the mind and spirit.
✧. ┊10th House: Bella's presence in the 10th house enhances your public image and career pursuits. Your facial features reflect an air of professionalism and authority, attracting attention and admiration from those in your professional sphere.
✧. ┊11th House: With Bella in the 11th house, your social interactions are infused with a sense of similarity and camaraderie. Your facial expressions resonate with shared experiences, fostering connections within social circles.
✧. ┊12th House: Bella's energy in the 12th house lends an ethereal and mystical allure. Your facial features may possess a dreamy quality, drawing others into your spiritual insights and inner world.
Asteroid Bella Aspects
✧. ┊Conjunction: The energies of Bella and the associated planet intertwine seamlessly, creating a captivating synergy that can significantly impact the area of life represented by that planet. This conjunction encourages you to embody Bella's charms and express them in a potent and direct way, inviting others to be drawn to your unique allure.
✧. ┊Sextile and Trine: This facilitate a gentle flow of energy, allowing Bella's allure to blend effortlessly with the qualities of the associated planet. This alignment suggests that your innate attractiveness and charm are readily accessible and integrated into the realm of the aligned planet. Relationships, creativity, and personal expression benefit from this harmonious connection, as Bella's grace enhances the natural traits of the associated planet, creating an inviting and appealing aura.
✧. ┊Square and Opposition: This configuration challenges you to navigate and integrate Bella's allure with the energies of the associated planet, which may require conscious effort and self-awareness. The square aspect prompts you to find a balance between your natural charm and the qualities represented by the planet, often leading to growth through overcoming obstacles.
(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved
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aphroditelovesu · 3 months
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The Lost Queen - XI
— summary: You woke up near a military camp without remembering how and why you got there, you didn’t understand why they were dressed like ancient Greeks, all you knew was that you weren’t safe and you needed to get out of that place as soon as possible. Too bad for you that you found yourself attracting unwanted attention from the Macedonian King and he won’t let you go so easily.
— genre: yandere, dark!au.
— warnings: time travel, obsessive and possessive behavior, murder, mention of torture, kidnapping, angst, fluffy (very rarely), dub-con, possibly smut.
— pairing: yandere!alexander the great x female!reader, yandere!generals x female!reader.
— word count: 2,268.
— tag list: @devils-blackrose, @faerykingdom, @hadesnewpersephone, @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 , @kadu-5607, @zoleea-exultant, @borntoexplore11-blog, @silmawensgarden.
— the lost queen series masterlist.
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Chapter 11
In agitated and pulsating Babylon, life flowed incessantly, without pause for rest. Its inhabitants were driven by an inexhaustible energy, immersed in different activities that filled their days. Under a sky permeated with seduction, the city exuded an irresistible charm, conquering all who dared to cross its limits. And in the midst of this frenzy, the Hanging Gardens stood majestically, silent witnesses to the magnificence and beauty of the city.
The city's famous Hanging Gardens not only added beauty to the urban scenery, but also aroused admiration in everyone who looked at them. It was said that it was one of the Seven Wonders and that it should be worshiped.
The story of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon was even more fascinating.
A long time ago, in ancient Babylon, the powerful king Nebuchadnezzar II reigned. He ruled firmly, but also had a sensitive heart for the beauty and well-being of his people. However, his wife, Queen Amytis, felt a deep nostalgia for her homeland, the lush mountainous region of Persia, where gardens were abundant.
To gladden the queen's heart and create a grand gift, King Nebuchadnezzar II ordered the construction of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Built into a magnificent structure of raised terraces, these gardens were designed to recreate the exuberance and serenity of Persian gardens amidst the hustle and bustle of the city.
The architects and engineers worked tirelessly, bringing to life a true verdant paradise in the heart of Babylon. Using an intricate network of water channels and irrigation systems, they managed to flow water from the depths of the Euphrates River to the highest terraces, nourishing the exotic plants and leafy trees.
When the Hanging Gardens were finally completed, they became a breathtaking spectacle for all who beheld them. The terraces were adorned with a dazzling array of fragrant flowers, fruit trees and lush greenery, creating a haven of peace and beauty for their beloved Queen.
It was a beautiful city, with a rich and vivid history. It would be a shame if the city fell into the hands of the savage Macedonians. The Persians believed that if the city fell into enemy hands, then the entire Empire would be doomed.
Darius knew this, he was more aware that if something happened to the city, everything would be lost. His defeat in the last battle had already been crushing, he could not be defeated again.
The Persian King sighed, frustrated and sat down on the chair in front of the table full of maps. He poured some wine into his glass and drank it, rubbing his temples irritably. He would have to do something quickly about this or risk losing everything.
The tent flap was opened and Darius frowned when he saw his detestable relative, Bessus. The man smiled mischievously and approached his King.
"You look terrible." Bessus commented, as he took a seat in front of Darius and grabbed some wine for himself.
Darius didn't respond, just drank his wine.
One side of Bessus' mouth quirked up and he chuckled, "You look tense."
"I am tense." Darius grumbled, adjusting his posture. He could never show himself weak in front of this relative of his.
"I can see that," Bessus murmured, stroking his black beard, "Maybe you need some good news."
Darius looked up and looked at Bessus, curious.
"Ah, have I piqued your interest?" Bessus laughed.
"Say it at once."
Bessus placed the glass on the table and smiled like a predator, "Our friend, Alexander, recently got married."
Darius raised his eyebrow, clearly interested in where this conversation was going.
"A certain (Y/N), from what the spies told me."
(Y/N)? It was a different name, one he didn't remember ever hearing.
"And who would this be (Y/N)?" Darius asked, placing the glass on the table.
"Someone who can be useful to us." Bessus licked his lips, as if savoring the idea. Darius stopped himself from shuddering.
"And how could she be useful? She's just his wife."
"That's why, my King. She's his wife and from what I've heard, he seems to care a lot about her. I've heard rumors that he almost killed his own General because of her."
Darius thought. Maybe she could be of help after all. If Alexander really cared so much about her, there would be an advantage.
"And from what my spies are saying, she could be pregnant." Bessus said, rubbing his hands together.
"And what do you suggest I do with this information?"
Bessus laughed darkly, "Bring her to us, Darius. I have spies ready to infiltrate the Macedonian camp, one word from you and she will be brought to us."
Darius didn't like the idea of kidnapping a pregnant woman, but these were desperate times. He could not suffer another humiliating defeat to Alexander. These were war times, after all. And all is fair in war.
Darius nodded hesitantly, "Do it."
Bessus smiled widely and stood up, turning his back to Darius.
"Bessus," Darius called in a serious, lethal voice, "Don't hurt her."
Bessus nodded, "I won't."
As Bessus exited his tent, Darius sighed loudly. He wasn't sure what he had ordered, but he knew it was too late to reverse it. He could not show weakness in front of his soldiers. Not now.
He needed to relax and so he called a name, "Bagoas."
Darius didn't even blink when the eunuch appeared in front of him and began to remove his overcoat. He needed this to clear his mind about what he was about to do.
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The women looked terrified.
You felt sorry for the Persian women, the captives. It was obvious what would happen to them and you felt sick to your stomach just thinking about their possible fate. Although Alexander had prohibited rape, it was inevitable.
You would have to talk to him about it. It was unacceptable and since you were the Queen, you would have something to say about it.
You watched the Persian royal family carefully. After Darius's defeat at the Battle of Issus, he left his mother, wife and daughters behind. You already knew this story and couldn't help but be curious as you watched the women.
You were next to Hephaestion and Alexander, who were also watching the women carefully. At least these wouldn't suffer a bad fate.
Not now, at least.
The oldest of the women, who you immediately recognized as Sisygambis, the mother of Darius, approached Hephaestion and fell at his feet, prostrating herself and begging for mercy.
You bit back a laugh when you saw how Hephaestion's eyes widened in surprise.
"Please, Grand King, I ask that you spare my granddaughters..." The woman muttered, as she still had her face lowered in her hands on the floor of the tent. Hephaestion muttered something under his breath and looked desperately at Alexander.
Sisygambis turned pale when she realized her mistake, fearing that she had offended the King by mistaking him for a mere general.
Alexander decided to say something, "Don't worry, mother. He's also Alexander."
You held back a laugh when you heard the well-known words of Alexander the Great. It was like watching a movie in first person.
Alexander turned to you, "And here is my wife and Queen, (Y/N)."
You blushed a little at being called that. It was still strange and you were sure it would take a while to get used to being called that.
Straightening your posture, you smiled gently at the women, who watched you carefully. With a calm and serene tone of voice, you greeted them, ''It's a pleasure and an honor to meet you.''
Sisygambis smiled and nodded at her granddaughters, who bowed at you.
You waved your hands, "No, no. Don't worry about it, it's not necessary."
They seemed a little disoriented and confused, but they respected your request. Alexander seemed satisfied and began talking to the women.
You didn't pay much attention when you felt a wave of nausea. You bottled it up and held firm, but you knew full well what that could mean.
After your wedding night a few weeks ago, you continued to share a bed with Alexander a few times and, obviously, there were no contraceptives available and a very high chance of you being pregnant was plaguing you.
You didn't know what you were supposed to think about this. Having children had never been a goal of yours, sure, you had thought about it before, but the idea of actually expecting was scary.
You considered yourself too young to be a mother and the current scenario definitely didn't help. By the gods, you were more than two thousand years in the past, married to one of the greatest conquerors in history and possibly pregnant.
It all seemed like a very bad joke.
And there are still conflicts to be resolved. Cleitus had recovered well and an understanding between him and Alexander was made, it seems, the General forgave Alexander for trying to kill him and everything would return to normal between them. There was tension between the generals over this, but it seemed like everything would be fine.
Thanks to Hephaestion's diplomatic skills.
And there was the matter of Perdiccas.
You sighed just thinking about him. You hadn't spoken in weeks, he seemed determined to ignore you and you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt you. You had felt something for him, but it seemed to become less and less the further away you were.
You missed him. He was one of the first, no, the first to be kind to you and someone you thought could become a friend, an ally.
But now he avoided you like the Devil avoided the Cross. When you were forced to be in the same room, he would remain silent and avoid your eyes. And when you spoke to him, he only spoke short, sharp words.
There was no longer that warmth, that kindness that you shared before.
You missed him. A lot.
But that was his choice and you would have to live with it. If he wanted to pretend that nothing ever happened between you, that you were mere acquaintances, you would do it. He could be stubborn, but you were more so.
And you couldn't put yourself at risk, not now when there was a chance you could be pregnant. This was for yourself and for this possible child.
You closed your eyes and pressed your hand over your stomach. Fearing for the uncertain future.
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Perdiccas knew this was treason.
He was very aware that what he was doing could lead to him being sentenced to death. He knew it but he didn't care.
It was a crime of treason, a serious betrayal against his King, against his childhood friend and his beloved Macedonia.
But he didn't care. Something inside him just exploded on your wedding day and he knew there was nothing he could do to destroy that uncomfortable feeling.
He was jealous and angry. Jealous that Alexander had you in every way and angry with you and himself. Anger at you because you didn't choose to run away with him and at himself for not insisting.
But he was hurt, feeling betrayed. Perdiccas thought you liked him, maybe you could even be falling in love with him, but you chose Alexander over him.
And he hated you for it.
He loved you, Perdiccas knew he loved you. You awakened feelings he had never felt before for anyone and he wanted you. He wanted you just for himself, he wanted to be able to love you and adore you like the Queen you were.
You could have been happy together, just the two of you and with children in the future. Perdiccas could envision a happy future with you. You playing with his children while he watched.
You could have had a life next to each other.
But you chose to throw it all away and Perdiccas wouldn't allow it.
You would be his, one way or another.
These words repeated in the General's mind as he stealthily approached your tent with Persian spies at his side.
The camp was dark and strangely silent. Even the swashbuckling soldiers were silent.
Alexander would not share his tent today, he had much work to do with Hephaestion and Ptolemy.
It would be the perfect opportunity.
He waved his hand and the spies quickly knocked out two guards who were assigned to protect you.
Perdiccas was sure you would be asleep at this time. With silent steps, he lifted the flap of the tent and entered it, moving silently inside to where your cot was located.
He smiled like a fool in love when he saw you, asleep. You were covered by a thin blanket and your sleep seemed restless. He looked at the Persian spies and nodded.
It was now.
One of the spies approached you with a piece of fabric in his hand that had some kind of poison on it that would keep you asleep for as long as necessary.
When the cloth was placed under your nose, you woke up with a start and tried to scream, but the spy covered your mouth and pressed the cloth harder against your nose. Eventually, you stopped struggling and your eyes grew heavy, until they closed.
Perdiccas approached you and picked you up carefully. He smiled widely when he glimpsed your beauty.
Now was the time to finally have you for himself.
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— lady l: WE'RE BACK, BABY! I know it took me a while to get back to this fanfic and I apologize for that. But we're back and the updates will continue as before! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and… Well, what happens now? I leave the doubt in the air… See you soon!
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elix8r · 4 months
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Rare and Pure (cbg)
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PAIRING: choi beomgyu x fem!reader
GENRES: angst (it's really distressing at parts), smut, a teaspoon of fluff, werewolf!au, friends to lovers, mates, accidental lover
WARNINGS: this story contains some dark themes so pls beware! profanity, unrequited love, kidnapping, drugging, dubcon? its not sexual, abusive behavior, implications of murder, choking, descriptions of blood, violence, drinking, mates, talk of death/dying, IM SO SORRY RIIZE ARE WRITTEN AS THE EVIL GUYS ESP WONBIN RIP, sexual content: multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, drunk sex, knotting, cumming inside, rough sex, biting, marking, oral (f receiving), fingering, handjob, bulging, breeding, choking
SUMMARY:
“But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.“ - Patrick Rothfuss
Choi Yeonjun was the love of your life, the one you were unequivocally sure the Moon Goddess had chosen for you. His younger brother, Beomgyu, on the other hand, didn't even register on your radar as mate material. But fate, as it often does, had other plans. One night was all it took for your entire life to flip around as you found yourself accidentally mated to your childhood friend. Now, you're left grappling with the emotional wreckage of it all as you are not only struggling to feel the unbreakable connection that mates are supposed to share with Beomgyu, but you're also dealing with the harsh reality that your dreams of forever with Yeonjun will never come to fruition. It's a bitter pill to swallow, and it's forcing you to reevaluate your very sense of self. Your wolf clearly had some serious explaining to do.
WORD COUNT: 21.5k
AUTHOR’S NOTE: i know this story took so long but thank you to everyone for waiting! i really went through it writing this cause it was a rollercoaster of emotions but it's truly my baby and i adore this story so much so i hope you guys enjoy it and was worth the wait! beomgyu is a sexy lover here and an even sexier wolf (rawr xd) so hope that's exciting for you guys and i'm so sorry but i literally put names of groups into an auto generator machine to pick who was going to be the villain and it chose riize so i'm so sorry for their depictions cause they are despicable here but know i meant no harm and i adore them it's all just for the story! anyways hope you guys have fun reading it and please give me some feedback! Happy Holidays!!!
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You felt conflicted coming to this conclusion because you genuinely loved the girl, but you couldn't help but blame your current predicament on Huh Yunjin and her family's recent move to your town.
New families were rare, especially as it meant they would become new members of the pack. However, an old and close friend of the Alpha had decided to relocate, prompting a warm welcome and an invitation to join the pack. When you heard that the new family had a daughter your age, you eagerly volunteered to give her a tour.
The family was to move into the vacant house on the other side of the neighborhood. And on that day, you excitedly watched the moving truck arrive from your window, clutching a box of cookies lovingly baked by your mother for the new family. 
Your family held a prominent position within the pack, with your father serving as the Beta and every bit of you exuded that high status. Being an only child furthermore assured you to grow up to be confident and bold, but you also tried to be welcoming to all which made it easy for you to make friends. It seemed though, that Yunjin was quite the opposite of you as she was quieter and less outwardly exuberant, but she still was quite friendly and happy that you were showing her around.
"So that's the pack house, and since your dad is close friends with the Alpha, I'm sure you’ll be over sometime soon.” You flashed her a wide smile, concluding the tour as you both headed back to your house. Yunjin appeared a bit overwhelmed, understandably so. She had just moved to a new town, knowing no one, and you had bombarded her with information about the pack and the town within an hour.
"Oh, and next door is my house! You're welcome anytime; just come over, and we can hang out. Right next door is my best friend Taehyun's house. He’s away right now, but he’ll be back soon, and I can introduce you two. I’m sure you'll get along!" A grin spread across your face, thinking about your best friend whom you hadn't seen in a while.
Taehyun had left for a trip with his father and a few pack elders a week ago, focusing on improving his tracking skills. However, he would return soon, and you were confident that he and Yunjin (along with the others in your friend group) would hit it off, so you were eagerly anticipating everyone meeting. From the hour you had spent with the girl, you could already tell that she was going to be a great addition to the pack. 
"Wow, thank you so much. I was honestly nervous about moving because I've never had an easy time making friends, but I feel really lucky to have met you. You seem to know everyone and everything." Yunjin smiled appreciatively at your kind offer, and you beamed back at her. However, before you could say anything else, the front door of the pack house swung open.
His scent reached you even before he came into view, instantly stirring up a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. Choi Yeonjun had captivated you since the moment you met him, and you were certain that you were in love. The word "perfect" was the only one that could adequately describe the oldest son of the Alpha. Your heart ached in his presence, and you knew that this was no fleeting crush like the ones you had experienced before. This was love, a profound and all-encompassing emotion unlike anything else.
"Hey, Y/N!" The combination of his voice and smirk threatened to make you weak in the knees, but you managed to maintain your composure as you smiled back at him.
"Hey, Yeonjun! This is Yunjin. She's the daughter of the new family in town, and I was just showing her around." Yunjin revealed earlier that espite their fathers being close, she had never never met the rest of the Alpha’s family. Yunjin greeted Yeonjun with a shy smile as he extended his hand for a handshake.
"Oh yeah, my dad mentioned that. He was pretty excited that his old friend and his family were joining our pack. Well, nice to meet you, Yunjin. I'm Yeonjun, the oldest and the only Choi kid important enough for you to meet. Don't worry about Soobin and Beomgyu, you're better off not even meeting them." You silently agreed with him, although your biased opinion was clearly influenced by your feelings for him. Yunjin seemed to relax further with his warm welcome and playful introduction.
"You're really lucky to have Y/N showing you around. She's like a celebrity in our pack. She knows everyone, so if you ever need anything, she's your best bet." He smiled at Yunjin and playfully nudged you. "Well, I have to go bring Beomgyu his clothes. That stupid bastard decided to go for a run without taking anything, and we're literally supposed to be going over to Elder Kwan's house for dinner in a couple of minutes. You know how my mom would kill him if he showed up in his wolf form. Anyways, it was nice meeting you, Yunjin. Y/N, I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting." With an affectionate ruffle of your hair, he waved goodbye and left.
Despite your efforts, Yeonjun seemed oblivious to your feelings, treating you more like a sister than a lover. Yet, you remained convinced in its belief that a deeper connection existed between you both. The inexplicable emotions that surfaced whenever he was near convinced you that destiny had intertwined your paths for a reason.
"Wow, he seems really nice," Yunjin commented, her tone subtly shifting. In retrospect, you should have picked up on the change, but you were too captivated by Yeonjun's presence to notice. Unfortunately, your obliviousness would soon come and bite you in the ass.
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Several weeks had slipped by since your new friend, Yunjin, had made her entrance. Your hunch had proven right – she seamlessly melded with your well-established crew, like the missing puzzle piece you didn't know you needed. Initially quiet and reserved, she shed her timid shell bit by bit, especially as you all hung out more. Just yesterday, she had even joined in on a run in full wolf form with everyone which sure helped tighten the bond that had been growing stronger. 
If you could have it your way, you would currently be with them at the local movie theater where you knew everyone but you were. Yet, reality had you poking at your food, stealing subtle glances across the table at your crush, whom you had strategically sat down in front of.
Even before you were born, it had been a tradition for your family to go over to the pack house and have dinner with the Alpha’s family every first Tuesday of the month, and so here you were. 
"Ok well, I'll get the dishes, and if you kids could help clear the table for dessert, that would be helpful," your mother said, quick to get up and head towards the kitchen with a couple of plates in her hand, prompting everyone else to follow her directions.
"Dinner was amazing as usual," your dad kindly thanked the Luna. "We have a couple of things to talk about regarding the matter we discussed earlier, so we'll be in the office." Clearly, he was trying to make the conversation confidential, but your dad wasn't the best at keeping secrets, and you (and probably the boys) had already caught on to what he was referring to. It honestly wasn't that hard to figure out, considering it had been the only thing anyone in your pack had been discussing recently.
Rumors had been circulating around that an unfamiliar pack was closing in on the town your pack had been inhabiting for over a century. Sightings of rogue wolves have also been on the increase, which explained Taehyun's unexpected tracking trip. While this didn't necessarily mean that your pack was in immediate danger, it was crucial to remain cautious. Precautionary actions, such as doubling up security around the borders, had already been taken, and the pack's council was now prioritizing finding out who exactly was approaching their territory and their intentions.
As you watched your dad and the Alpha head towards the office, out of nowhere, a voice caught you off guard, forcing you to take your eyes off of them. "Hey, can you come to my room after this? I need to talk to you about something."
Beomgyu, despite being the same age, had always been the Choi boy you were the least close with. While you still had a strong bond with him from being raised as pups alongside one another, your relationship with Yeonjun and Soobin was undoubtedly stronger. So, hearing this request from Beomgyu surprised you.
"Why can't you just tell me here?" You questioned him while taking plates back into the kitchen where your mom and the Luna could be seen washing the dishes while engaging in an animated conversation.
Beomgyu followed closely behind you, also holding dishes in his hand. "I just can't. Just come upstairs with me, please."
You frowned a little, trying to figure out on your own what was so important that Beomgyu had to speak to you in private. However, you had to admit that you were a bit curious about what he had to say, so you gave him a small nod. "Ok, fine."
As the two of you made your way towards the staircase, Soobin must have noticed and halted you and Beomgyu. "Where do you two think you're going without even helping us finish cleaning up the table?"
"Ugh, fuck off Soobin, we already helped. We'll be back when Mom brings out the pie," Beomgyu retorted, rolling his eyes. But before he could take another step, another voice stopped him.
"Wait, seriously what are you guys up to?" Yeonjun's eyes sparkled with curiosity at the unusual sight of you two heading off on your own. Normally, he and Soobin were part of the group.
"It's none of your business," Beomgyu replied, clearly annoyed at all the questions.
"Hold on, I want in on whatever you two are doing. What's with all the secrecy?" You, too, grew increasingly curious about why Beomgyu wanted to speak to you privately, excluding his older brothers from the conversation.
"Oh my god, it's just between me and Y/N. Seriously, fuck off," Beomgyu's patience was wearing thin, which was no surprise considering his brothers often had that effect on him.
"Just you and Y/N? And you're going to your room? Hmm, sounds a little–" Soobin's insinuation was cut off by your swift response.
"Jesus, Soobin. It's nothing like that. We'll be back quickly," you assured him, not wanting to entertain any unnecessary assumptions being thrown, especially in front of Yeonjun. He could get the wrong idea. So with that, you swiftly turned around and headed to Beomgyu's room, leaving Soobin and Yeonjun behind.
"Fucking Soobin and his nosy ass," Beomgyu muttered in annoyance as he followed you into his room. You were familiar with every single room in the pack house, including his, and as always, it looked exactly as you remembered. Impeccably clean, which never failed to surprise you. It was also unsurprising that his warm and woodsy scent was intensified in his room. However, you sensed that this did trigger a strange reaction from your wolf, but you pushed her aside, ignoring her peculiar behavior (which she had been having more frequently recently) and without even asking for permission, you plopped onto his neatly made bed.
"Ok, now what was so important that you needed to talk to me alone?" you inquired, watching as Beomgyu closed the door and settled into his desk chair.
"I like your friend Yunjin, the new girl," Beomgyu stated plainly, and the random confession had you sitting up straight in surprise.
"What?" You gave him an incredulous look, still processing why he had brought you all the way up here to reveal this information.
"She’s hot and I’d like to get with her so I need help from you," he replied matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You continued to give him a confused look with a hint of disgust at his words, but you gathered up your thoughts to respond. "What the fuck, Beomgyu? Did you drag me all the way up here for that? I mean haven’t you already met her? And what would I even get out of helping you with this?"  
“Yeah, I’ve met her briefly a couple of times cause of our parents but like I need someone on the inside to you know, scope out her feelings and like maybe put in a couple of good words about me.” His persistent nonchalant expression and tone struck a nerve, aggravating you further, especially since he hadn't addressed how this would benefit you.
"Beomgyu, I’m not doing that for you. There are at least ten other guys I'd consider trying to set her up with before even considering you. If you're so interested in dating her, my suggestion is to just go and ask her out like any normal person would." Rolling your eyes, you stood up, intending to leave the conversation. However, his next words halted you in your tracks.
“I’ll help you with Yeonjun.” 
It was obvious that growing up together had given him an edge in understanding you too well. Those five simple words were all it took for you to reluctantly agree to assist your childhood friend in pursuing the new girl in town.
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In the midst of blaring music and flashing lights that seemed determined to trigger a headache, you found yourself in an obnoxiously loud club on a Saturday night. This was the last place you would have willingly chosen to spend your evening, but circumstances had led you here. When you initially agreed to assist Beomgyu, you envisioned a more thoughtful and gradual approach to make Yunjin develop feelings for him. However, your expectations were shattered earlier when Beomgyu unexpectedly appeared at your doorstep, barging in without a second thought and heading straight for your room.
You were aware that some of your friends had plans to hit the nearby club tonight, an invitation you had initially declined. Your preference was to stay at home, engrossed in the pages of the new book you had recently acquired. But Beomgyu seemed to have other plans, disregarding your intentions the moment he stepped into your house. Apparently, he had caught wind of the possibility that Yunjin might be among those venturing out for the night.
"Sure, I knew she was going out," you shrugged, your attention split between applying makeup and addressing Beomgyu, who had made himself comfortable on your bed.
"You knew? And you didn't tell me? Come on, Y/N, I thought we had some kind of agreement!" His sigh carried a tinge of exasperation, clearly disappointed by your perceived negligence.
"Apologies for not realizing I was your designated Yunjin-schedule informant. That's bordering on creepy, by the way. And I thought that we were going to take things slow. Plus, why do I have to tag along? Since you're in the loop now, can't you just go by yourself?" Despite your rapid-fire inquiries, you continued meticulously applying your makeup. 
"Do you not remember? That's exactly why I came to you. I need help seamlessly integrating myself into her life, making it seem natural and subtle. Take tonight, for example! I'll play it cool, like I had no clue she'd be here. You'll join our conversation, kick-start it naturally, and then gracefully bow out, leaving us to continue. It's a flawless plan, trust me. Plus, seeing you actually putting in some effort to make this work will make me more motivated to help you with my brother." Beomgyu, as usual, carried on with his chatter. To be honest, you found the plan a bit nonsensical, but considering what was at stake for you, you ended up donning that cute new outfit you had been saving for a different night out. Before you knew it, you were in Beomgyu's car, en route to the club.
Normally, you wouldn't mind a night out at a club like this, and you would typically have agreed without a second thought. Lately, however, you had felt more inclined to stay home, and the odd behavior of your wolf throughout the week made you hesitant to introduce alcohol into the mix. Nonetheless, since you were already here, you decided it was a good opportunity to let loose a little.
Amid the deafening music, Beomgyu's voice rang out, "So, have you spotted them yet?" You leaned against the bar, waiting for your drink.
Surveying the crowd upon your arrival, you had even tried to identify them by scent, but the throng of people made it challenging. "Not yet, but let's move around. I'm sure we'll be able to find them soon." With one hand gripping your vodka lemonade, you and Beomgyu started moving around, staying close to make sure not to be separated within the bustling club. 
Out of the corner of your eye, a familiar face caught your attention, instantly recognizable. "C'mon, I found them!" You hurriedly exclaimed, gesturing in the direction of your best friend, dragging Beomgyu along.
Taehyun's eyes widened as he spotted you approaching. "Y/N, I thought you were staying in tonight? You should have texted!" Beomgyu emerged behind you, and Taehyun's surprise morphed into confusion. "Oh, and you brought Beomgyu along?"
It wasn't that you and Beomgyu weren't on good terms or weren't friends, but the sight of the two of you together wasn't a common occurrence unless it involved family matters. After all, you both had different sets of friends. So, your unexpected duo not only grabbed Taehyun's attention but also that of a few others in the group.
“Yeah uh I ended up changing my mind and he was heading out too so I just grabbed a ride from him.” You brushed off his question lightly before scanning your eyes around your group of friends, looking for a specific face. 
It appeared Beomgyu was on the same page, as you felt a gentle nudge from him. "Did Yunjin come out with you guys?"
"Yep, she did! She's just in the restroom and will probably be back soon." Kazhua, your other close friend, greeted you with a tipsy smile before she resumed engaging in lively conversation with her boyfriend, Kai who spared you two a wave.
Thanking her, you felt a sense of relaxation settling in as you basked in the company of your friends. The drink in your hand was starting to take effect, lifting your spirits and making you feel lighter. Observing Beomgyu from beside you, you could tell he was loosening up as well as he seemed to be engaging in friendly banter with Taehyun. Seeing them dab each other up as if they were best bros had you rolling your eyes.
"So spill the beans. What's the real deal here between the two of you? I’m obviously not buying your story and getting a ride from him wouldn't lead to you sticking together even when you found us. Are you guys seeing each other? I swear, I won't say a word to anyone if you are!" Chaewon slung her arm around you, her eyes playfully dancing as she gestured towards Beomgyu.
A puzzled expression creased your pretty face as you processed her question. Chaewon was probably your closest friend after Taehyun, and she had a knack for uncovering every detail about your life. However, her insinuation of a romantic connection between you and your neighbor had you almost freezing from surprise. You couldn't afford to give the impression that something was brewing between you and Beomgyu, especially when your mission tonight was to make Yunjin notice him. Plus, there really wasn’t anything happening between the two of you.
"Wait, hold on a second. Jesus, Chaewon. Seriously, it's not what you're thinking. I promise it was just a ride," you replied, attempting to brush off her inquiries. Yet, the skepticism in her expression told you she wasn't entirely convinced.
"Well, that's not what Soobin said." You inwardly cursed, momentarily forgetting that Soobin had been recently seeing Chaewon. It was clear that he had shared how he and Yeonjun had caught you and Beomgyu sneaking off alone upstairs to his room. 
"Jesus fucking Christ, Soobin. You need to tell him to mind his own business. And seriously, he's just trying to be a pain in the ass. I promise you, there's absolutely nothing going on between us. If there were, I would've been the one to tell you, and not leave it to Soobin to play messenger." Your fervent response finally seemed to ease Chaewon's suspicions, as she nodded in understanding.
"Alright, I believe you. But remember, even if there's a hint of something happening, you better let me know and give me the details. I don’t want to have to rely on Soobin of all people to get all my juicy gossip from," Chaewon's playful yet determined expression made you chuckle. Just before you could respond, a familiar voice caught your attention.
"Y/N! Oh my god, you're here! I thought you said you weren't coming out?" Yunjin's excitement spilled over through both her voice and her actions as she enveloped you in a warm hug.
Clearly, a few drinks had loosened Yunjin up; her eyes carried a playful glint, and her usually composed demeanor had given way to lively energy. Amidst her effervescence, you were also able to catch a glimpse of Beomgyu's eyes lighting up with eagerness upon spotting her. Lost in the thrill of finally locating your target for the night, both you and Beomgyu had failed to notice that Yunjin hadn't returned from the restroom alone.
"Hey, Y/N," a familiar voice greeted you from behind her presence, and a flurry of emotions erupted within you as your heart raced in response. Despite the time that had passed, you were still defenseless against the effect Yeonjun had on you.
"Hey, Yeonjun! I had no idea you were joining us tonight," You managed to regain your composure, your voice finally steadying as you exchanged greetings.
"Yeah, I mean I just came with Changbin and a couple of the other guys, but I stumbled upon her when she was wandering around lost, trying to find her way back to your group. Naturally, I couldn't resist lending a hand. You know me, I never leave a helpless pretty girl alone." A quick wink from Yeonjun, and you could see Yunjin's amused giggles in response.
Yeonjun's reputation as a major flirt wasn't a secret, but witnessing his overt flirting with your new friend right before you stung a little. Though you did your best to brush it off as his usual playfulness and quickly put on a wide smile in return.
"Well, thanks so much for returning her to us safely," you playfully retorted, echoing his tone. You then quickly downed the last of your drink, hoping to mask the twinge of anxiety that the sight of their interaction stirred within you.
As Yeonjun weaved his way through the group, your gaze remained fixed on him. Like always, you were unable to resist your attraction towards him, but this time, you were far from oblivious. Quickly noting the close proximity he maintained with Yunjin as they navigated around the table, a small frown formed on your face. When’d they get so close?
"Hey, when did you arrive? Changbin could've given you a ride along with me if you had mentioned you were coming," Yeonjun greeted his brother. However, it was evident that Beomgyu's attention remained steadfastly fixed on Yunjin, his focus unyielding even as his brother spoke. Maybe your initial assumptions of his interest in your friend were wrong. With the look he was giving your friend, it seemed that maybe there was more to the attraction than just physical.  
Recognizing the opportune moment to step in and work your magic, you decided to make your move. Yeonjun appeared engrossed in conversation with his brother and your best friend, giving you the chance you needed. Swiftly, you moved over to where Yunjin stood and linked arms with her. With a clear plan in mind, you guided her away to the bar, seeking both a private conversation and a refill.
Once at the bar, you ordered drinks for the two of you and then turned your attention to Yunjin. "So, how's the night treating you? Are you enjoying yourself?" you inquired with a friendly smile.
Yunjin accepted the drink gratefully, seemingly oblivious to your underlying motives. Her smile lit up as she responded, "Honestly, I'm having a blast, especially now that you're here!"
"Aww, that's great to hear! Is everyone being nice to you? How are you liking the club? Anyone catch your eye?" You smoothly slipped in the last question, hoping to naturally lead the conversation towards Beomgyu. 
Though a pang of guilt tugged at you for manipulating your friend, you reminded yourself of the agreement you'd made. The possibility of finally attaining your desires was too enticing to let pass, and after all, if Yunjin genuinely fell for Beomgyu, was it truly manipulation on your part?
Yunjin's laughter tinkled in response to your questions, and she leaned against the bar. "Everyone's been wonderful, and I really appreciate you welcoming me into your friend group. As for the club, it's incredible. Back in my previous town, we had nothing like this, so this is a whole new experience for me." After a sip of her drink, she looked at you, and you eagerly awaited her response to your previous question.
"I’m not going to lie; everyone in this pack is ridiculously good-looking, so naturally, they've all grabbed my attention in some way. But, I have to admit, there's someone who's been on my mind. It's still way too early to say, and I'm not in a rush to find a mate, but I've never felt such a strong connection with someone this quickly. I can't help but wonder if he might be the one the Goddess has in store for me." Her words instantly grabbed your attention. If there was a possibility that Yunjin had already discovered her mate within the pack, it could complicate your task of steering her towards Beomgyu. 
Eagerly, you pressed on, "Come on, you’ve gotta tell me! I know all the ins and outs of this pack. Depending on who it is, I could probably give you some insights—whether they're a catch or a red flag, especially if you feel they could be the one." Your enthusiasm prompted Yunjin to consider sharing, and as you leaned in, she relented.
"Alright, alright I guess it wouldn't hurt to get some female insight, but since the first time you introduced us, I think I've kind of felt something with Yeonjun." Her words hit you with unexpected force, instantly hardening your face. 
Despite witnessing their interactions with one another earlier, it was apparent that you had been more preoccupied with your own infatuations for the older boy that you hadn’t even had the chance to realize the possibility of her attraction towards him– the very person you had been secretly in love with for what felt like an eternity. 
She remained oblivious to the quick shift in your expression as she carried on. "Like I said, it's definitely too early to make any conclusions, but I genuinely believe there's something special with him. Even today, running into him had my wolf practically giddy, and that has to mean something, right? Every time we bump into each other, which seems to happen a lot lately, we just click effortlessly and I just feel like I could talk to him for hours. He's so cute, and I kind of sense he might be dropping hints of interest, so fingers crossed, right?" Her animated enthusiasm while discussing the boy tugged at your heartstrings, filling you with a sense of despair.
"Yeah, he's a great guy," you managed to mumble, though the green monster of jealousy began to rear its head within you. "Just be cautious, though. Yeonjun is a fantastic guy, but his reputation with girls isn't the best. He's known in the pack as a bit of a flirt, and he hasn't really had many long-term relationships. Honestly, there have been plenty of girls who've come and gone, so I just don't want to see you get hurt by him."
Your words weren't entirely false; Yeonjun did have a bit of a player reputation within your community, but it wasn't as extreme as you portrayed it. It had mostly been a phase during his high school and early college years. Now that he was out of school, he appeared to have matured and settled down. Nonetheless, it had been a while since you'd seen him seriously involved with anyone, so witnessing his connection with Yunjin had you wanting to go back home and cry. 
Her expression briefly faltered, but a determined smile soon replaced it. "Well, maybe he just hasn't met the right person yet! Thanks for the heads-up on his past, but I'm not easily discouraged. Honestly, it's better than hearing he's an asshole or mistreats girls. Who knows, maybe I'll be the one to change him!"
"Well, there are plenty of other great guys in the pack you might not have had a chance to get to know yet. Keeping your options open might not be a bad idea, especially since you mentioned you're not in a rush to mate. You know Beomgyu, right? He's an awesome guy, and I think you two would really hit it off. Actually, let’s go find him!" Without waiting for her response, you eagerly take her hand and lead her back to your group.
But as you returned to the group, your intentions to subtly steer her closer to Beomgyu were abruptly interrupted by Yeonjun's appearance. "Hey, I was looking for you. I found the guys I mentioned earlier and I want to introduce you to them," he said, his focus solely on Yunjin as he guided her away from you, towards his friends who were on the dance floor, making you feel invisible in the process. The way he looked towards Yunjin confirmed everything you needed to know.  
Beomgyu appeared engrossed in an animated conversation with Taehyun and Jeongin when you hurried back to the group. Without a moment's hesitation, you seized his hand and pulled him away from the others, heading back toward the bar with a sense of urgency in your steps.
"What the fu—" Beomgyu began, but he stopped short as he took in your distressed expression.
"I think Yeonjun is Yunjin's mate," was all you managed to say before tears you had been suppressing welled up and trickled down your cheeks.
To outsiders, it might seem overly dramatic to cry over a guy, but Yeonjun wasn't just any guy to you. He was the one you had been in love with for as long as you could remember, and now it felt like your world was crashing down. You might have been labeled naive or unrealistic, but that didn't change the fact that it hurt like hell. Witnessing Yeonjun's face light up in a way you'd never seen before, all because of a girl who wasn't you, was a heart-wrenching reality. Beomgyu seemed to grasp this as he reached out, pulling you into his arms.
"How do you know? Did she say something?" Beomgyu's usual teasing tone, often centered around your crush on his brother, disappeared. He now spoke with genuine concern, understanding the depth of your feelings for Yeonjun.
All you could manage was a nod against Beomgyu's warm chest. The two of you remained in that embrace for a minute, an unusual scene not just because it was unprecedented between you two but also because it was happening in the middle of a club.
Finally, you stepped away from the hug, your eyes, which were gradually drying, locked onto Beomgyu. "She mentioned feeling a connection with him since the first day they met. She even said she thinks he might be her mate. But I wasn't sure until I saw how he looked at her. He's never looked at me like that. I'm sorry, Beomgyu. I really tried to tell her about you, but it seems like she's only got Yeonjun on her mind."
Beomgyu's response was unexpectedly understanding. "No, no, don't apologize. It's totally fine. If anything, I'm the one who should say sorry. I dragged you here today, and it's clear that your feelings for Yeonjun are on a whole different level than the physical attraction I had with Yunjin. I'm sorry about all of this, Y/N," he added, shaking his head.
"Hey, let's grab a drink and talk about something else. We're already here, so we might as well make the most of it and distract ourselves from those two." The idea of shifting your focus away from what had just transpired was a welcomed one, and you didn't hesitate to nod your head to accept his offer.
It all began quite mildly with vodka lemonades, but it quickly escalated into a flurry of shots, with each one sliding down your throat. Before you knew it, you found yourself intoxicated beyond your usual limits, a sensation that didn't bother you in the least. Beomgyu was on the same wild ride, and it seemed that both of you were in a state of inebriation that you rarely reached.
The club's atmosphere was electric, with the deep bass of the music reverberating inside you. Your sweaty bodies drew nearer and nearer to each other, and soon, you felt as though you were moving as one. It was a level of closeness you had never experienced with Beomgyu as you had never seen him in a romantic light. Undeniably, he was one of the most attractive people you knew (the entire Choi family seemed blessed in that department), but your heart had always belonged to the eldest Choi brother. However, in this moment, with a shattered heart and a new perspective, your childhood friend had taken on an entirely different allure which definitely explained the position you were currently in.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You were practically screaming as Beomgyu increased the speed of his thrusts. 
Having sex in a grimy club’s bathroom with your next-door neighbor was definitely the last thing you expected this night to take you, but here you were with your pants down panting into Beomgyu’s mouth as you felt all of him inside you. 
While you weren’t practically sure when you moved from dancing on the dance floor to fucking in the bathroom, you definitely didn’t mind though, as you were getting your mind absolutely fucked out. You weren’t sure if it was the multitude of alcohol you had consumed or the after-effects of finding out about Yunjin and Yeonjun’s connection with one another, but your body seemed to be at an extreme high with the way you were feeling Beomgyu everywhere on your body. It was different from any other sexual experience you’ve had with other wolves and the way your body responded to his was automatic, as if you were perfectly tailored for him and him only.  
With one hand on your breast, while the other was in your hair, pulling your head back to get easier access to your neck, Beomgyu also couldn’t help but feel a similar high. He’d never thought that seeing your fucked out expressions under him would give him this amount of pleasure, but now that he’s experienced it, he didn’t know if he would ever be able to stop thinking about it. You felt perfect around him and smelled so enticing, it was stirring his wolf to absolute madness. No matter how deeply he attempted to bury his nose in your throat, it was not enough. His wolf was screaming for something more. He needed to taste you and he knew exactly what he needed to do. 
Pain exploded within you while you reached your peak and the the dynamic between pleasure and pain was almost too much for you as you felt your knees buckling while you felt yourself sliding down the stall’s door before Beomgyu caught you. 
Without hesitation, Beomgyu had bit you right where your shoulders and neck met, ensuring his claim on you. And before you could process what was happening, your wolf took over to reciprocate the act, completing the mating process. 
A lingering pain held you both in place, your teeth still sunk into each other's skin. Then, like a sudden, undeniable realization, it hit you with the force of a freight train. You and Beomgyu had just marked each other, forging an irreversible connection that would permanently link your fates.
Beomgyu still seemed to be in a daze, his bite unrelenting, and panic coursed through your intoxicated body. With a sudden burst of force, you pushed him away, and at last, he released his grip. As he took in your disheveled appearance and the newly marked skin, the weight of his actions seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks, his eyes widening in realization.
"Fuck! What the hell did we just do?" you screamed at him, hastily pulling up your pants and bolting out of the stall. Beomgyu followed, his words stuttering in his panic. "I-I don't know, shit!"
You dashed to the mirror, inspecting your neck, and what you saw made your heart sink. The bite was deep, and you could make out every detail of his teeth. A trickle of blood ran down your shoulder, and you winced in pain as you carefully traced the mark. Turning around, you pulled his shirt to the side to examine his neck, finding an almost identical bite mark, mirroring your own. There was no denying that the two of you had permanently claimed each other.
Panic was overwhelming, and the alcohol only added to the haze that clouded your thoughts. You rushed out of the bathroom with Beomgyu hot on your heels, shouting your name as you weaved your way through the growing mass of dancing bodies, which seemed to have multiplied in the last hour.
Your desperate attempt to reach the front door came to an abrupt halt when you accidentally collided with the last thing you needed to see tonight. Before you could turn and find another route, you found yourself facing the one scene that would shatter your already fragile state.
Yeonjun and Yunjin were passionately entwined on the dance floor, their lips locked in a heated kiss. Before you could react, they both noticed your distressed presence. "Y/N?" Yunjin called out.
Overwhelmed by the whirlwind of emotions and events, you couldn't fully deduce on how to react, and you felt your eyes burning as tears blurred your vision. Beomgyu had finally caught up to you, but his arrival only served to intensify the situation. Yeonjun, with his keen senses, quickly picked up on the extremely potent mix of your and Beomgyu's scents that wafted in the air, which were a telltale sign of what the two of you had been up to. His eyes zeroed in on the glaringly obvious marks adorning your bodies, and it didn't take long for all hell to break loose.
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The four of you, engulfed in a mix of panic and anxiety, made your way back to your house, with Yeonjun demanding answers (mostly from his brother) and Yunjin attempting to soothe your distress. The pack house soon descended into chaos as the news of the marked bonds and the events at the club spread like wildfire, rousing everyone from their beds. Elders were urgently summoned to the house, while your parents anxiously paced, demanding answers from you and Beomgyu.
The two of you sat on the living room couch, with Beomgyu providing a more coherent account of the events (with many details omitted), while you remained in a trance, barely able to respond to anyone. Yunjin stayed by your side, holding your hand in a gesture of comfort, though it provided little solace amid the overwhelming situation.
"It appears that what has been done cannot be undone, especially considering the mating ceremony appears to have been finalized. I am afraid that the two of you are now bound for life. I'm sorry, but I believe there's little if anything, we can do about the situation." Elder Kwan finally concluded after what felt like an interminable wait for the Elders and your parents to reach a resolution.
"In a way, it might be comforting to know that the Moon Goddess is never wrong in her pairings. So, regardless of the circumstances, it appears that the two of you were destined to be mated. I understand you're both quite young, and it's not typical for wolves your age to be mated, but it was inevitable. Congratulations," Elder Lim added, and with that, everyone except your parents began to make their way out of the house.
Five days had passed since that life-altering night. Five days since you had last seen Beomgyu and five days since you had left your room.
"Miserable" hardly covered the depths of despair you found yourself in. Countless people had come by your house since the news of your newly mated status had spread, but you remained invisible to them all.
Initially, after the elders had delivered their verdict, your father had nearly lost control. He had launched accusations and screams at Beomgyu, accusing him of coercing you into this situation. However, you had sternly explained to your father that you were equally responsible for what had occurred, and that had managed to calm him down. Still, he struggled to approach you. However, you couldn't really blame him, as he had received no warning that you had even found your mate before you arrived home fully mated and marked. Your mother, on the other hand, was more sympathetic to your plight and made efforts to coax you out of your depressive state.
"Honey, you have to go see him. I know you're hurting inside, and staying cooped up in your room isn't helping anyone," she urged, fully aware of your inner turmoil. Your wolf had been howling for its mate since you separated from Beomgyu, and she was beyond furious with you for keeping her away from her mate as she was now unresponsive.
"I can't," you muttered, shaking your head.
She sighed and ran her fingers through your hair, attempting to provide some comfort. "Well, at least go see Taehyun. He's been here every day, and I can't keep turning him away. He's worried sick about you."
You were aware that Taehyun had been coming over daily to check on you, and while you felt terrible for ignoring him and the rest of your friends, you hadn't had the courage to face anyone during the past few days.
“C’mon, he’s right next door. He’s your best friend, maybe you’ll feel better getting out of your room and seeing him. It’ll get your mind off of everything, Y/N, it’s not healthy bottling all of this in.” 
Your mother's persuasive words finally prompted you to reach for the front door of your house. As you stepped outside, a wave of regret washed over you. Beomgyu's scent was the first thing that hit you, an intoxicating blend of cinnamon and wood that made your body hyperaware, almost weakening your knees. 
Beomgyu was about to get into his car when he spotted you emerging from your house. Five days had felt like an eternity for his wolf, and just the sight of you had him jumping with excitement. An awkward silence settled as the two of you locked eyes, and your gaze was drawn to the very visible mark on his neck, an immediate reminder.
"Y/N..." Beomgyu began, but the words seemed to escape him, and he didn't know how to continue.
Your wolf, who had been avoiding you and resisting your attempts to connect, suddenly sensed Beomgyu's presence and started to stir, eager for you to reach out to him and reconnect her to his wolf.
"Hey, Beomgyu," you managed to say, your voice trembling with the tension between you and Beomgyu.
"I'm sorry," you both blurted out simultaneously, heightening the awkwardness. Beomgyu decided to bridge the gap between you by moving closer.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Beomgyu's voice held a sincere tone, his eyebrows furrowing with concern.
You shake your head, knowing fully that none of this was his fault alone. “No, don’t be sorry, we both did this to us. If anything, I’m sorry for shutting you out, I just needed some time. I’m sure your wolf was losing his mind.” 
He nodded and offered a small smile. "I get it. Everything happened so fast. I don't blame you for needing some time away to process everything. Are you okay?"
This time, it was your turn to nod. "I guess. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that you're my mate. But, like Elder Lim said, it was bound to happen anyway, so there’s no point in resisting it."
"I'm really sorry about Yeonjun," Beomgyu said, feeling a twinge, knowing his mate previously held deep feelings for his brother and hoped to be mated to him. "I know I probably wasn't the Choi brother you were hoping for, but I understand how much you liked him. You'll need time to get over that."
Seeing Beomgyu in such a mellowed-out state was odd. Since you were young, Beomgyu had been known as the mischievous pup of the pack. Most wolves typically outgrew that role, but he seemed to carry it with him even to this day, which was one of the reasons you had difficulty seeing him as mate material. To witness this more restrained side of him was almost unfamiliar.
"Yeah, thanks. I mean, seeing Yeonjun with Yunjin and then immediately getting with you definitely forced me to move on quick," you acknowledged. Still, a lingering question had been eating at you and had contributed to your recent depressive episode.
"Do you feel it?" you asked Beomgyu, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Feel what?" He was clearly puzzled.
"The connection. We've been told our whole lives that when we meet our mate and become mated, we'll experience this indescribable link that makes us feel complete. I don't know if knowing you my entire life has dulled that rush of feelings that most mates have. While I definitely feel my wolf yearning to be with you constantly, aside from that, I don't really feel anything. I'm sorry for being so upfront, but I need to know if I'm the only one feeling this way, and if it's my issue, or if you're going through the same thing?" Your candidness left Beomgyu quiet for a moment, and you instantly regretted it. Your wolf chastised you, and now you were panicking, worrying that you had been too blunt and might have hurt his feelings.
You’ve made him mad and now he’s not going to want us anymore. After five torturous days of not being able to be with him, the second we’re reunited, you’ve fucked it all up. 
Before you could react and apologize to rectify the situation, Beomgyu spoke up and you felt your heart drop. "I don't feel it either."
His admission cut deep, and you felt a pang of hurt. Even though you had admitted that you didn't feel a strong connection with him, it still stung to know that your mate, to whom you were now permanently bound, didn't desire you in the same way that most mates did. You wondered if the elders were wrong, and perhaps this union wasn't truly meant to be.
"Fuck," you muttered, letting out a deep sigh. You were at a loss for what to do now and wanted to crawl back into your bed.
"But I don't think that necessarily means we're doomed," Beomgyu continued. "I believe in what the elders said, and I don't think being mated to you was a mistake. My wolf was driving me insane because we were apart," he admitted, and you nodded in agreement. "While we personally might not feel it yet, I think it's a good sign that at least our wolves are sensing the connection. We probably need some time, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes for us to make this work."
His words instantly provided you with a sense of comfort. Knowing that he was taking the situation seriously and was willing to put in the effort gave you hope. But it was still a bit disheartening to realize that you had to work on developing the connection with him that other mates seemed to naturally have. 
Why couldn't things be easier for you like you were raised to believe they would be?
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A month had passed, and you and Beomgyu had more or less fully accepted your situation. The pack had moved on from their initial curiosity and nosy questions, finding other topics to focus on. Gossips about your status and unconventional mating circumstances had faded away, allowing you a bit more peace.
Most days, you found yourself in the company of Beomgyu, attempting to forge some kind of bond. While the effort felt forced at times, you were determined to create a connection, if only to alleviate the persistent fear that you might never truly connect with him. Despite spending time together, it seemed that the two of you had yet to break through anything beyond the surface level.
“Take it, take it like the slut you are.” 
In truth, any attempts to cultivate a deeper, more complex relationship between you and Beomgyu, that extended beyond being family friends, often got derailed by your strong physical bond, or rather, just horniness (seriously you felt like a teenager again with the constant need to take each other’s clothes off). The irresistible need to be intimate often overshadowed the potential for emotional depth, leaving your efforts to form a more meaningful connection feeling like a constant struggle against the physical desires that seemed to take precedence. In other words, it was now really fucking getting on both of your nerves. 
Like, of course, you were aware and taught that mated wolves, especially newly mated ones, carried a need to be around one another and to breed as it was instinctual for your wolves to create offspring, you never would have guessed it’d come down to the constant need of being filled by him 24/7. 
“Shit!” You had been screaming in pleasure for a couple of hours by now and it seemed like there was no indication that you nor Beomgyu were ready to be stopping anytime soon. Stamina like this seemed to also be a gift that came with your newly mated status.
“Beomgyu please, please, please!” You chanted as you clawed at the sheets. 
Your once perfectly made face was now absolutely soiled as remnants of mascara, sweat, spit, cum, and tears were littered all across. Honestly, you couldn’t have been more grateful that your parents were away on an important trip outside of town with Beomgyu’s parents. There was no doubt in your mind that your poor mother (his too) would drop dead the second she got wind of how you had been spending the last few days.
“Keep fucking you yet you stay tight as a virgin like you were perfectly made for me and only me,” Beomgyu growled out as his hips snapped harder from behind you while his grip tightened. There were no doubt bruises in the shape of his fingers were forming around your waist.
You knew you were closing in on your third orgasm of the night as you felt the splintering sensation you were very well aware of reaching its boiling point. And as if he knew, a pinch to your clit was all it took for you to be crumbling down. Lightheadedness instantly came as everything around you seemed to turn white and you knew your body went limp, but that of course was no deterrent for Beomgyu as he continued to pound himself into you before finally reaching his peak. 
Pulsing inside of you, you felt the familiar ache of your walls expanding as Beomgyu came. His dick continued to swell past its normal size as ropes of his cum continued to paint your walls. Your soft whines and his deep pants were now all that filled the room.
“Fuck, sorry I don’t think it’s going down anytime soon, hold on.” Beomgyu adjusts you to where the two of you can comfortably lay on your sides whilst waiting for his knot to go down.
With how much he came (so much that even with the knot, his semen escaped down your thighs) and with how tightly he was plugging you, there was no doubt in mind that your wolves were making it their mission to have you bred as soon as possible.  
Suddenly bangs rained down Beomgyu’s door. Instantly you jolted at the unexpected intrusion which had you clenching around Beomgyu’s still rock-hard cock pulling a groan out of him. “Are you two fucking done now? Jesus Christ other people live here selfish bastards!” 
Clearly too occupied by your pleasures, the two of you must have not heard anyone else coming into the house. 
“Fuck off Soobin!” Beomgyu yells in response to his older brother as your face heats up at the realization that he’d probably heard everything.
“You think he heard everything?” You try to turn your head towards Beomgyu as you ask, but quickly realize the position the two of you were in wouldn’t allow you to face him.
His knot still felt like it wouldn’t be going down anytime soon which meant the two of you were stuck in a spooning position for a bit. 
"Probably, but I don't care. It's Soobin; I've caught him with Chaewon more times than I'd have wanted to, so he's in no position to bitch." His voice is muffled as he nuzzles his face deeper into your hair and neck.
After what seemed like an eternity, likely the longest it's ever taken for his knot to go down, the two of you finally managed to detach and clean yourselves up a bit before bracing yourselves and leaving the room.
Of course, the second your feet hit the bottom of the stairs, your embarrassment tripled as you realized it wasn’t just Soobin present in the house.
“Y/N!” Yunjin's excited voice greets you as she runs up to give you a hug.
You hadn't seen her since the night at the club, and while you hadn’t intentionally avoided her, the part of you that wasn’t quite ready to face her yet lingered beneath the surface. It wasn’t her fault for what had transpired; she had no inkling of your feelings for Yeonjun (which she still didn’t know) and had no say in choosing her mate, just like you. However, witnessing her with Yeonjun only solidified your own emotional hurt. 
Over the course of the month, you learned from Taehyun that she and Yeonjun had decided to get together, though taking it slow and not rushing into mating. But nevertheless, it seemed that they (along with everyone in the pack) were well aware that they were indeed true mates, confirmed by the elders just as you and Beomgyu had been.
“Hey, Yunjin how’s it been?” You reciprocated the hug nevertheless though as she was still your friend, but over her shoulder you got a glimpse of Yeonjun and the sadness in your heart that you’d been working hard to mend seemed to ached a little.
He looked good. Great even, which you decided to attribute to finding his mate. There was almost a bright glow around him and he just looked so happy. They hadn’t even been mated yet and Yunjin was already making him light up like that.
She responded to you, but your mind was elsewhere as you looked at Beomgyu, who was bickering with Soobin about something. He didn’t look any different. Where was his glow? Frowning at the realization that yet again there was another thing that you and Beomgyu’s relationship lacked in comparison to others.
Chaewon must have noticed how you had suddenly gotten upset as she interjected herself between you and Yunjin cutting the other girl off. “Hey, so sorry Yunjin, but I totally forgot I have to ask Y/N about something.” And she took your arm and dragged you away to the bathroom.
As soon as the bathroom door closed, Chaewon enveloped you in a hug, offering comfort. “You okay?”
You sighed deeply, sinking into her embrace. “I think something's wrong with me. Something’s not right with me and Beomgyu.”
This admission was the first time you vocalized your concerns. For a month, you’d kept it hidden, not disclosing it to anyone, not even Taehyun or your parents. It was a weight you carried, feeling like a failure—a broken wolf.
Chaewon pulled away slightly, a mix of concern and confusion on her face. “What do you mean? I thought things were going okay. I mean, we all heard you two upstairs.”
You shut your eyes tightly, fighting back tears, shaking your head with a sense of dejection. You were beyond feeling embarrassed at what they probably heard. “That's the issue. It’s purely physical between us. Every time we’re together, it’s just about that, but beyond fucking, there’s nothing. He’s still just the Beomgyu I grew up next door to, not my mate, not the love of my life.”
Her gaze softened, understanding the gravity of your words. Mates sharing a deep connection was foundational, and your experience seemed to deviate from that norm. No wolf was ever taught that there was a possibility of what you and Beomgyu currently had. 
“Oh sweetie,” Chaewon dragged you into a tight hug again. “Have you talked to Beomgyu about this?”
You affirmed with a nod, "Yes, we're both aware that something isn't right, and we're genuinely making an effort. We spend time together almost every day, trying to bridge the gap, but it's been a month and we haven't felt any change."
The two of you stayed in a comforting silence, wrapped in each other's arms.
"Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry," Chaewon's words carried genuine empathy. "I'm sorry about Yeonjun too. I know how much you liked him. We all did, and it wasn’t in a childish crush way. We all saw your feelings were real. I'm truly sorry for everything that has happened in the past month."
You've felt like all you've done for the past month was cry, and you despised it. Yet, as Chaewon spoke, tears still found their way down your cheeks. While you appreciated everyone's sympathy, a part of you wished those words could make a difference.
"Thank you, really. I just feel terrible that Yunjin’s kept in the dark about everything. I'm not deliberately avoiding her or holding any anger toward her. It's just that I need some time. Seeing her with him hurts a lot and it adds to the strain I feel about everything with Beomgyu. It's nobody's fault." You sniffled, pulling back slightly to wipe away your tears. Yeonjun was never yours to begin with, yet why did his presence still hold such a grip on you, even after finding your mate?
“Have you talked to anyone else about this?” Chaewon inquired, and you shook your head in response.
“I think it’ll really help to talk to Taehyun. He always knows how to make you feel better,” she suggested, her understanding evident. Taehyun was your best friend, and at this point, you felt unable to keep everything bottled up. You longed for the comfort only your best friend could offer.
With a nod at her suggestion, you decided, “You’re right, I think I’m gonna go there right now.”
With that, you attempted to compose yourself, ensuring you didn’t look like you'd been crying, and together, you both headed back out to rejoin the group.
"Hey guys, I think I’m going to head back. I need to do something," you announced to the group, who seemed engrossed in watching something on TV.
“Are you sure? We just put something on. We were thinking of maybe a movie night?” Yeonjun’s voice almost tempted you to stay, but you resolutely shook your head.
“I’m sorry, guys, maybe next time?” You hoped this would appease them as you exchanged another hug with Yunjin who genuinely seemed disappointed that you had to leave so soon before bidding them goodbye.
“I’ll walk you to the door,” Beomgyu offered, rising from the couch, and together, you both began heading towards the front door.
“Are you okay?” His voice was filled with concern as you started putting your shoes on, he could tell that you'd been crying.
“Yeah, I just need to talk to Taehyun about something,” you responded. 
He noded, but before you could turn the handle, he reached out, taking your hand. As you turned to face him, he gently cupped your face in his hands and gave you a small kiss.
“Just call me if you need anything, okay? I don’t want to pry or anything, but I can feel how heavy your heart is,” he said softly. Your eyes widened slightly at the confession, but you decided against saying anything and just gave him a single nod before opening the door.
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Chaewon's advice definitely seemed to help, as confiding in Taehyun turned out to be exactly what you needed. He attentively absorbed every detail as you poured your heart out to him. Initially, he was upset that you hadn't sought his support earlier, leaving you to face everything alone. Yet, he swiftly took it upon himself to lift your spirits. The next day, he suggested a trip downtown, which was only just outside of your pack’s territory. This seemed to work wonders, as genuine laughter bubbled up from within you—something that had been rare lately. Sharing an ice cream with Taehyun, you both joyfully wandered around, enjoying each other's company.
The weather was scorching hot, and even in your minimal attire of a thin tube top and shorts, sweat was trickling down your neck. It was the first time you hadn't felt self-conscious about displaying your mark, and you were glad you'd decided to change into what you were wearing now instead of the thicker and longer shirt that would have covered it.
"Hey, let's head over there. Didn't you mention you still needed to get something for Chaewon’s birthday?" you suggested, tossing out your empty ice cream cups before leading Taehyun towards a small shop. However, as you reached for the door, it swung open abruptly, knocking you down with force.
"Fuck," you groaned as pain shot through your bottom from landing on it. Taehyun rushed over to help you up, but before he could reach you, a hand extended in front of you. Looking up, you met the gaze of a good-looking boy about your age. You decided to take his hand, allowing him to assist you to your feet.
"I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize someone was behind the door. Are you alright?" His voice was filled with genuine concern, but his unfamiliar scent put your wolf on edge.
As you're about to respond, Taehyun interrupted, examining you to ensure you were not seriously hurt. "You good?" 
"Yeah, I'm fine," you assured him. Turning back to the stranger, you offered a smile. "You're good, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known someone was behind the door." Your smile aimed to reassure him.
"I still feel terrible. Can I do something to make it up to you?" His offer seemed polite, but something about his demeanor raised your guard, and you quickly declined with a shake of your head.
“No, I’m fine, seriously. Don’t worry about it!” You forced another smile, eager to leave the situation and enter the store.
“Can I at least get your name? I’m Wonbin. I’m new around town, so maybe I’ll see you again?” His insistence was making you more uncomfortable, and your wolf was now screaming at you to distance yourself from this stranger.
Taehyun from the side could see the lingering looks that Wonbin was giving you that was obviously making you increasingly uncomfortable so he stepped in, creating space between you and Wonbin. “Back off, man. Can’t you see she’s already claimed?” He pointed to your neck, where your mark was visibly displayed. 
Though Wonbin's eyebrows twitched at Taehyun’s assertive comment, he quickly returned to a friendly demeanor. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize you were her mate.”
“We’re just friends, but her mate wouldn’t be pleased to know you were hitting on her like that.” Taehyun's tone lacked warmth, and although you and Beomgyu were dealing with your issues, Taehyun was right—Beomgyu definitely wouldn’t appreciate someone else showing interest in you.
Despite Taehyun's words, Wonbin remained unaffected, shamelessly continuing to look you over, making you regret your choice of clothing. His previously friendly smile now twisted into more of a smirk, worsening your anxiety. It was clear that even knowing you were already claimed didn't deter his interest in you.
 “Well, just so you know, If I were her mate, I wouldn’t let her out of my sight. You never know what dangers are lurking around, waiting for the right chance.” Wonbin gave you one last look before walking away, leaving you with a chill running down your back.
You hadn’t felt this type of fear in a while and one thing was for sure— there was nothing friendly about him, and you sensed that you’d now been singled out as a target.
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The moment you returned from your trip to town with Taehyun, an urgency drove you straight to Beomgyu's doorstep. Your body acted before your mind, taking you to his house and knocking before you even registered your actions. Your wolf, still reeling from the unsettling encounter with the stranger, sought comfort and solace from Beomgyu's wolf.
"Hey, I didn’t know you were coming over–" Beomgyu's greeting faltered as he observed your distressed state. His concern was evident as he furrowed his brows. "What’s wrong? Did something happen?"
Without uttering a word, you sought refuge in his embrace, initiating a deep hug that immediately brought a sense of relief. The whole experience had left you deeply unsettled. In the past, such attention from a stranger might have been flattering or easily dismissed. However, everything had changed since discovering your mate. The incident made you feel queasy, and the only solace you sought was from your mate's comforting presence.
Your voice muffled against his chest as you responded, "There was a wolf."
Beomgyu's body tensed in response. "What? Who was it? What did they do? You’re not hurt, are you?" He gently pulled away from the hug to check for any signs of injury.
“No, he didn’t hurt me, but I've never felt this uncomfortable before. He claimed to be new in town so I didn’t recognize his scent, but beyond that he just seemed off. Even with Taehyun there, I felt unsafe. It’s like something was off, and it’s making my wolf extremely uneasy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m mated to you now that any unfamiliar wolves set her on edge, but it wasn’t a good feeling,” you explained truthfully. You knew Beomgyu would eventually pry it out of you or find out from Taehyun so hiding it would serve no purpose.
As Beomgyu's body emanated more heat, you sensed a surge of anger brewing within him. It was as if your own emotions were mirroring his, an unfamiliar sensation.
“Fucking hell, I should’ve been there with you,” Beomgyu's wolf angrily chastised him, irritated at not being there to protect you.
Shaking your head, you replied, “He didn’t actually do anything. Taehyun made sure of it, and I don’t think he had violent intentions, but he made me extremely uneasy.”
“Who was it? He should've known you're already mine, your mark’s on full display and there’s no way he couldn’t smell me all over you. Fucking douche,” Beomgyu's readiness to confront the situation was palpable, but you swiftly placed your hand on his chest, urging him to stop.
“Hey, it’s fine. I’m here in your arms right now, and I already feel better. All I need is you to be here with me,” you assured him. 
The unease had dissolved from within you, and you had a feeling it vanished the moment you were enveloped in his embrace. Your wolf found solace in knowing that safety lay where your other half resided. For the past month, you hadn't entirely found relief in Beomgyu despite knowing he was your mate. However, in this time of distress, you felt a sense of safety in him.
“Are you sure?” Beomgyu was still upset that an unknown wolf had made you so uncomfortable, but your reassuring gaze calmed him.
“I promise. All I want is you right now,” you tenderly said, leaning in to connect your lips before he could respond.
You could still feel his anger but as he slowly moved his lips against yours, reciprocating your action, it seemed to be overtaken by a stronger emotion that indicated that he wanted you just as much as you did. 
Quickly, the two of you wasted no time going up to his room and the second his door slammed, you were stripping out of your clothes. 
“Shit, baby everytime I see you I can’t believe how fucking perfect you are,” he cupped one of your breasts in his hands pinching at your bud releasing a moan out of you. 
“Says you.” You responded before reconnecting your lips together. 
As the two of you fought for dominance with your tongues clashing against each other, you helped him undress. Hands quickly reached down to his pants and with one swift motion you push his pants along with his undwear down while he swiftly took his shirt off. Lips attached again and your hand reached down to touch his hardened cock. Swiping your thumb against his head and spreading his pre-cum around the shaft as you wrapped your hand around his member, before giving it a good jerk. He hissed.
“Fuck, your hands are so soft.” As your hands tugged at his dick at a faster pace his lips attatched to your neck kissing over the mark that he was responsible for. It was a spot that was much more sensitive than anywhere else and you shuddered.
“I need you so bad,” you whimpered as he lapped over and over at your mark, making you pant. You knew he was making an emphasis on covering you with his scent due to what happened today. 
With your whine you were pushed back into his bed and Beomgyu’s hands grabbed ahold of your thighs keeping them open. You knew you were incredibly wet and the sight of Beomgyu before you had you growing even more inceasingly so. He started slow on your thighs, kissing the insides of them, but it wasn’t enough.
“Beomgyu, please.” You begged wanting more than what he was teasing. 
“Use your words princess, what do you need?” You knew he was dragging this on as he loved seeing you beg. 
“Please, I need your mouth,” you begged again. At this point, you knew you had to be dripping and you were growing increasingly frustrated. He was kissing and lapping at everywhere but where you needed him most.
His hot breath ghosted over your core and you shuddered. “I think you’re going to need to be more specific than that.” He was toying with you and you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please, I need your mouth on my clit,” you finally gave in and you could see him smirk in satisfaction before diving in. 
Like a starved man, Beomgyu doesn’t hold back as he devoured your pussy. Your back arched as all sound from you seems to have been dissipated due to the overwhelming pleasure you were instantaneously given. His tongue gracefully lapped at your slit, parting your lips as his nose buried itself into your clit. 
“Fuck,” is all you could manage as your hands reached for his hair, pushing him deeper into your core.
As he continued to make out with your pussy, his finger made its way inside of you and slowly started puming in and out. The sounds you were making were music to his ears, encouraging him to continue adding another finger and slowly start increasing the speed of which his fingers were fucking you. His lips were now wrapped around your clit and you knew you were so close to reaching your peak. 
“I’m so close,” you mewled out as you felt the familiar feeling rippling within you. And before you knew it the hot blinding light exploded as you loudly moaned his name. 
You could see even in the dim light Beomgyu’s lower face glistening, covered in your release as he gave you a smile. Climbing up the bed he hovered over you and leaned in for a kiss and despite just having an orgasm, your body was screaming for another as your tongues clashed with each other. His hardened dick was felt against your stomach before he reached down to line himself with your drenched pussy. 
He rubbed himself against your slit, covering his length in your juices before fully inserting himself in you. 
“Fuck,” he hissed and without giving you a second to adjust, he pummeled himself in and out of you. 
You were sensitive from your previous orgasm, but you couldn’t care less when the pleasure you were experiencing was the only important thing in your mind. His thick cock was bruising your cervix as he wasn’t holding back, using the strength of his wolf to his advantage. 
“Shit, Beomgyu! You’re so deep right now,” you wailed out as you held tight to his shoulders. His headboard was banging into his walls as Beomgyu moved at an unstoppable pace. 
“Yeah, feel me here?” He gave you an almost smug look before pressing a hand down on your stomach, right where his cock was slightly bulging out from. 
“Yes, yes, yes!” You screamed out, raking your fingernail deep into his back. 
He grabbed one of your legs and pulled it up, hooking it on his shoulders and as if it was possible, you felt him even deeper within you. Tears were forming in your eyes at the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling and with the change of position, he seemed to be thrusting even harder and faster in you. 
“My pretty cock hungry mate. No one can fuck you like I can, can they?” You shook your head.
“No, only you!” You cried out. You could feel yourself once again getting close to reaching that peak.
“Fuck, you feel so good, should just breed you full of my pups.” Beomgyu panted out as one of his hands made its way around your neck. “Maybe then all these other wolves will know you’re mine and mine alone.”
“Please, Beomgyu! Please breed me!” The fingers wrapped around your throat squeezed just the right amount and you knew you had just reached your peak. As if someone had cut out all noise, a ringing in your ears was all you could hear while your eyes rolled to the back of your head while you let out a sob. 
Beomgyu panted above you as he animalisticly snapped his hips into yours and before you knew it, you felt warm spurts of his cum coating your insides as the familiar swell of his cock started to expand your walls. “Fuck!”
His body collapsed on top of yours, sweat mixing with one another's as the two of you attempted to catch your breath. 
"You're fucking incredible," Beomgyu panted out before planting a kiss on your forehead.
His compliment made your face hot, and for the first time in your relationship, warmth spread through your heart. The flutter of butterflies in your stomach made you break into a smile, it was something you could easily get used to.
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"Y/N, you gotta wake up right now," your eyes fluttered open at the your mom’s voice. It couldn’t possibly be morning already.
"What’s happening?" You asked, still half-asleep and trying to process.
"It's serious. Y/N, hurry up and get dressed," the urgency in your mom's tone jolted you awake; you could sense something had happened.
“What’s wrong?” You tore the covers off, scrambling out of bed. Though still drowsy, you were more alert, grasping the urgency once you caught a better look at your mom's furrowed brows and the scent of her almost panicked state.
You hastily threw on whatever clothes were within reach, disregarding your appearance, as you hurriedly followed your mom. She hadn’t explained the urgency behind dragging you out of bed in what still appeared to be the dead of night, judging by the darkness outside your windows.
“Come on, everyone’s at the pack house.” Her statement heightened your worry.
Upon entering the grand house, your senses were immediately assaulted by a wave of intense emotions. It seemed every significant pack member had gathered, their expressions lacking the usual hope. Your eyes sought out Beomgyu, and without hearing a word, you sensed his seething anger. It felt as though the heat of his fury was emanating through your body, causing your wolf to whimper in concern, fearful of what might have happened. 
“Apologies for summoning you in the middle of the night, but an urgent matter has arisen that allows us no time,” the Alpha addressed you, attempting to maintain his customary warmth. Yet, even he, never known for a quick temper, struggled to contain his anger.
“What’s happening?” Confusion and concern intensified within you.
“Did you happen to come into contact with a wolf not familiar to our pack recently?” Your body tensed, a sinking feeling dawning upon you.
You nodded, prompting a heavy sigh from your father and a deeper furrow of anger in Beomgyu’s brows. You could feel he was inches away from snapping. 
“He's the son of the Alpha from the pack we've been having border issues with. As you know, their aggressive advances toward our territory have caused us much trouble. Tonight, their Alpha visited me. The wolf you met has claimed you as his mate and is challenging Beomgyu for you.” Your wolf, previously attempting to stave off full panic, was now in a state of distress at the Alpha’s revelation.
Scanning the room, you sought confirmation from the others, hoping the Alpha's words were a joke, but the serious expressions mirrored the gravity of the situation. Even Yeonjun and Soobin, typically lighthearted, wore stern expressions that also seemed to showcase anger, affirming the truth in the Alpha's words.
“That bastard is trying to rip you away from me, daring to claim you as his true mate despite knowing he’s absolutely irrelevant to you,” Beomgyu's rage surged, an overwhelming force that felt utterly foreign and shocking. It was so intense, you were sure you could almost feel your body resonating with his, flames of anger igniting within.
“I’m going to fucking kill him. How dare he even think he has a chance with a wolf already claimed. He's just sealed his own fucking fate.” Fiery fury blazed in his eyes, each word seething with intense emotion.
His father attempted to calm him, reaching out, but Beomgyu shrugged off the gesture. “Son, calm down. We need to approach this wisely.”
But Elder Kwon's voice cut in before Beomgyu could respond. “The young wolf's anger is justified. Their claim on Y/N not only threatens him but our entire pack. If they can take Y/N from us, it’s an affront to our pack's strength and unity.” 
“How is his claim even valid? He probably just saw Y/N and felt attracted. There is no way there's any substance to what he’s saying. If anything, they’re probably using this as a pretext to declare their official threats to us, especially after learning that Y/N is from our pack,” Yeonjun's voice sliced through the tension.
The foreign pack’s aggressive moves had put everyone on guard. Your pack hadn't faced conflict or been attacked for decades, so the mere possibility made you feel queasy, especially since you were now at the center of it.
“She’s our Beta’s only child and the mate of one of our Alpha’s sons. She’s an integral part of our pack. This is practically a declaration of war,” Soobin's words resonated with the weight of truth. The fear gripping you was entirely justified.
“Is there a chance they could take me?” The question trembled in your voice, your anxiety reaching its peak. The thought of being taken away from everything you knew and loved was terrifying.
Instantly, Beomgyu shook his head, “No.”
The looming threat of losing you, his true mate, to an undeserving wolf ignited a tempest of emotions within Beomgyu's wolf. Despite the initial hurdles that shadowed your relationship, the irrefutable truth stood firm—you both were irrevocably bound as mates and just the thought of being torn away from you sent tremors of despair through his every fiber. Even if the path towards love was veiled in uncertainty and required time to blossom, Beomgyu was resolute in dedicating himself wholeheartedly to nurturing that sacred connection. He grasped the significance of the invisible yet unbreakable tether that bound you both, a connection he was willing to fight for, no matter the cost.
Instances of mates being torn apart from their true mates only heightened the gravity of the situation. You knew, with absolute certainty, that you'd rather face death than endure that fate. Love or not, Beomgyu was still your familiar comfort, far more meaningful to you than Wonbin could ever be. 
In a moment that felt like an eternity, for the first time, your heart didn't ache for Yeonjun as it usually did. Instead, it was a yearning so profound, so raw, that it cut through your soul. It wasn't Yeonjun’s face, which you had been for all your life so used to searching for; it was Beomgyu's. The tug of longing, the deep yearning for him, was an unfamiliar yet undeniable ache in your chest. For the first time in your existence, it wasn't the past or the ghost of an unattainable love that haunted you, but the urgent, desperate need for Beomgyu's reassuring embrace. 
The undeniable truth etched itself into your very being, Choi Beomgyu was your true mate.
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The tension in town escalated following the indirect declaration of war against your pack. Border patrols were heightened to unprecedented levels, and Taehyun's father took extra precautions, stationing wolves around your house each night for added protection. However, their presence seemed somewhat redundant, as Beomgyu hadn't left your side since the threat emerged. Initially, it was a bit awkward for both your father and Beomgyu to essentially cohabit, but your parents understood the necessity for you both to be together, especially given the looming danger. They found solace in knowing that Beomgyu would go to any length to safeguard you, choosing that assurance over the fear of losing you indefinitely. However, this didn't mean there weren't moments of awkwardness amidst this tense situation, especially as you and Beomgyu had a hard time resisting each other. 
The concerns about the struggles you and Beomgyu faced in establishing a solid connection seemed trivial now that the undeniable bond had finally revealed itself. It was an unfamiliar sensation, trying to adapt to the newfound ability to sense almost every emotion and vibration of his wolf. It was as though the two of you operated as a singular entity, connected on a level that transcended the ordinary. Love, however, didn't feel like the right term to define what you shared with him at that moment. Though you were sure you were going to get there one day. 
"So, any plans to move in together?" Taehyun's casual inquiry hung in the air as you and Beomgyu nestled together on the couch. From his spot on the opposite sectional, Taehyun hinted at the subtly crowded atmosphere, though the vast expanse of your home made the idea of it being cramped somewhat absurd.
Across from you, Yunjin and Yeonjun were absorbed in their own world yet half-attentive, mirroring your cozy scene. A few months ago, witnessing such a scene would have been torturous and utterly heartbreaking, but as if by some enchantment, the love you once held for the older boy seemed almost erased, leaving you indifferent to their current affectionate bond. Your wolf, usually alert and sensitive to such moments, was preoccupied with Beomgyu's wolf, showing little interest in Yunjin and Yeonjun. 
Surprisingly, you found yourself content that Yeonjun's mate was someone you genuinely approved of. Yunjin had seamlessly integrated into the pack, not solely as Yeonjun's unconfirmed mate but also because she was genuinely cherished by everyone. Any previous hesitance toward her had vanished, allowing you to interact comfortably like you had previously done with her without any lingering heartache. She was back to being a cherished friend of yours. Now, you could say with no hesitation that the only person occupying that part of your heart was Beomgyu.
Kai had also joined in tonight since his girlfriend was away, and Chaewon was also present but without Soobin as he was on border patrol. The gathering at your house started as a game night but quickly turned into a casual chat where discussions veered towards anything and everything. Though, the topic of Wonbin and his pack remained untouched throughout the evening. It wasn't just to avoid irritating Beomgyu; it was a sensitive matter that threatened the pack's stability. With the pack being the core of their lives, everyone was cautious not to stir up a topic that could bring tension. Moreover, you were Wonbin’s primary target, a valued member of the pack, making it an uncomfortably sensitive subject.
“I mean, we've definitely thought about it, and our parents are certainly more enthusiastic about it than us. But I don't think we're quite ready to take such a big step in our relationship just yet. Maybe soon, but not at this moment.” While you were growing more comfortable with everything, neither of you felt an urgent need to rush your relationship. If it were up to your wolves, though, you'd probably already be living together and starting a family.
“Your poor dad, Y/N. Having to witness his only child being taken away by Beomgyu of all people...” Kai's sympathy for your dad was evident, and everyone seemed to nod in agreement. It was no secret that Beomgyu had always had the reputation of being a bit of a naughty boy since he was young and wouldn’t be the first pick of mate for any parent. Even Beomgyu seemed to be aware and acknowledging his reputation as he nodded along.
“No, seriously, your parents are much stronger than me. You two have no self-control around each other. The number of times I’ve heard or even walked in on you getting your back blown—” Chaewon's candidness left you shrieking in embarrassment. Her lack of filter was well-known, but it was still mortifying. Beomgyu, on the other hand, found it more amusing than shameful, chuckling along with the rest of the group at your reaction.
“Ah ah, harder Beomgyu harder!” Taehyun joined in on furthering you humiliation and you were burning up with embarrassment.
"Oh my fucking God, cut it out!" You practically screamed, setting off an even more exaggerated response from the group, clearly relishing your reaction. "You're all absolutely horrible!”
"Hey babe, it's alright, they're just joking and I mean they’re not wrong," Beomgyu chimed in, unintentionally worsening the situation. The feeling of betrayal stung, and you gasped, pulling yourself away from his comforting embrace. Marching across the room, you headed straight for where Huening Kai was seated, letting out an audible hmph.
"Wait, no, come back! Fuck, I'm sorry!" Beomgyu rushed to apologize, attempting to coax you back into his arms, but you were resolute, settled in your place beside Huening Kai.
"Whu psh," Yunjin mimicked the sound of a whip cracking. "Beomgyu, you're so whipped! You should see your face right now, like a puppy who just lost its favorite toy."
Beomgyu shrugged dismissively at her comment, though he knew it held a grain of truth. "Well, I don't think you're in a position to judge, considering you're practically glued to my brother like a koala."
Just as their banter threatened to escalate, Yeonjun intervened, offering reassurance to soothe the embarrassment festering within you.
"Hey, hey, Y/N, it’s totally fine. I mean, that’s expected of mates, especially newly mated ones. Plus, you guys are young, so it's no surprise the hormones are raging," Yeonjun smiled warmly, trying to ease the tension. But even with his attempts, you remained visibly flustered, arms tightly crossed in a self-defensive gesture.
“Yeah, Yeonjun’s right, they're just as bad as you guys, and they haven’t even claimed each other yet!” Taehyun gestured towards the other couple in the room, diverting attention to them.
“Yup, you two are equally disgusting. I mean, where’s the decorum? Shit, the kitchen is literally where people cook!” Yunjin's embarrassed outburst broke the tension, finally eliciting a chuckle from you amidst the teasing.
Riiing Riing
Amidst the loud laughter, the unmistakable sound of a phone ringing caught everyone’s attention.
“Hello?” Yeonjun answered, but his previously lighthearted expression turned dark as a scowl appeared on his face. “Okay, we’ll be right there.”
An uneasy hush fell over everyone as they looked to Yeonjun, waiting for an explanation.
“Dad just called. There’s something happening at the border, and they need backup,” Yeonjun announced, his words instantly casting a shadow of concern over the room. Instantly, a frown etched across your face, the mirth from moments ago evaporating in an instant.
There hadn’t been any recent issues, but the news of trouble at the border stirred an unsettling feeling in your heart, shared by everyone in the room. It could be nothing more than a rogue stray, but the possibility that it might involve Wonbin's pack left a heavy weight in your chest. You could sense Beomgyu's heartbeat quickening, mirroring your own unease.
“I’ll go with you,” Taehyun volunteered immediately with no surprise as this was exactly what he had been training all summer long with his dad for.
Before Beomgyu could voice his offer, a surge of dread enveloped you, prompting an immediate response. You shook your head in refusal. 
“I’ll go too.” The words escaped your mate's lips, causing your heart to plummet. Meeting Beomgyu's gaze, you silently begged him to remain by  your side.
“It’s okay, it’s probably nothing. We’ll be back by tonight, I promise.” Beomgyu assured you, though his wolf howled within him at the thought of being away from you. He understood that if this situation extended beyond a rogue threat, his absence would be his way of ensuring your safety.
“I’m going with you guys too,” Chaewon chimed in and you quickly whipped your head to face her.
“Okay, then I’m going too,” you insisted firmly, but instantly you saw everyone shaking their heads at you. Everyone understood the potential risk if you were near the border.
“No, you're not,” Beomgyu countered firmly, his concern evident in his furrowed brows. His tone left no room for negotiation.
“Yeah, Y/N, he’s right. It’s probably nothing, but it’s better not to risk anything,” Huening Kai added, his expression showing traces of unease.
But they needed to understand that staying within the confines of your home didn't offer solace while everyone you cherished, including your mate, ventured out, putting themselves at risk for your safety.
“Seriously, Y/N, Dad didn’t sound too concerned, so it’s probably nothing serious. Just stay here with Yunjin and Kai. We'll return soon,” Yeonjun offered a small smile, hoping to reassure you, but your expression remained tense.
You scanned the room, seeking reassurance, until your gaze locked with your mate's. Through that silent connection, his presence offered solace. “It's alright, I'll come back.”
With that, he held you tightly in his arms, and your wolf instinctively sought comfort from him, silently pleading for him to stay. The reality of your friends not allowing you to join them weighed down on you. So, with a heavy heart, you reluctantly let Beomgyu go, sharing a deep kiss before he departed. Your eyes followed him until he vanished behind the closing door, leaving a lingering unease within you.
“Hey, it’s gonna be fine,” Yunjin offered a tight smile, trying to reassure you, though you sensed her own unease. You nodded, attempting to brush off the worry. Your wolf was probably being dramatic at the fact that she had to part with her mate. 
“How about we put on a movie or something to pass the time while we wait for them to get back?” Huening Kai's suggestion sounded like a good distraction, and you nodded, eager for anything to take your mind off the constant worrying about Beomgyu and the others.
“Okay, you guys can pick something. I’ll go make some popcorn then,” you decided, heading towards the kitchen pantry to grab popcorn and a few other snacks for Kai and Yunjin.
From the living room, you could faintly hear your friends discussing which movie to pick for the night as the popcorn started to pop in the microwave.
Beep Beep 
The microwave's alert signified that your popcorn was ready, but as you reached to open it, a surge of raw fear seized your body, sending shivers down your spine. Your wolf was all of a sudden howling at you to flee, a visceral warning that someone who shouldn't be there had somehow made their way inside your house.
"Kai? Yunjin?" Your voice trembled with audible panic, but your calls went unanswered. Their noisy chatter from earlier seemed to have dissolved into an eerie silence that gripped the air.
Then, without warning, an ominous white mist began to seep into the living room, thick and suffocating. The acrid smell stung your nostrils, and your eyes stung as tears welled up. Your wolf's urgency to escape pulsed through you, but a chilling sense of paralysis rooted you to the spot. Your body refused to respond, leaving you helpless as you collapsed, feeling every second in excruciatingly slow motion.
The thickening smoke enveloped you, obscuring your vision and suffocating your senses. Panic seized your chest, your heart pounding in sync with the rapid beeping of the microwave. Then everything went dark.
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Your dry mouth was the first thing you noticed upon waking up. The unfamiliar brown-walled room raised alarm bells in your head. Memories of what occurred before being knocked out rushed back, triggering a surge of panic as you surveyed your surroundings. You had no idea where you were.
Ignoring the ache in your bones, you threw off the covers and dashed towards the door. It was locked tight, the doorknob refusing to budge. The room, while not overly small, contained nothing except a bed. Above it, a window beckoned, and you hurriedly made your way there. Yanking back the curtains, your optimism crumbled at the sight of metal bars barricading any chance of freedom through the window.
“Fuck,” you cursed in realization of your entrapment. Where the fuck were you?
The room offered nothing that could be use to your situation, leaving you frustrated and eager to try the door again, hoping against hope for a miracle. As you approached, the doorknob began to jiggle, sending a rush of fear through you. It was an unsettling feeling, not knowing who might be on the other side. And unfortunately, your suspicions were confirmed as the door swung open to reveal the last person you ever wanted to see.
Wonbin strolled in, a smug grin adorning his face as he met your startled gaze. “Took you long enough to wake up. I asked them to go easy on the wolfsbane, but clearly, those fucking idiots didn't listen.”
Wolfsbane. It all clicked into place—how you'd been incapacitated so swiftly.
“Wonbin, where the fuck am I?” Your voice held an edge, reflecting the anger brewing within you at the precarious situation.
“What do you mean? You’re at our pack house. We rescued you,” Wonbin retorted with an overtone that seemed patronizing, further fueling your fury.
“Rescue me? From my pack, my home, my friends, and my mate?” Your tone sharpened as you mentioned Beomgyu, causing Wonbin's grin to vanish, replaced by a scowl.
“Don’t fucking talk about him. He’s not your mate. You’ve been brainwashed by your pack,” he spat, visibly agitated by your defense of Beomgyu.
“You're fucking insane! I don’t even know you! Beomgyu is my mate, not you stop being delusional. I want to go back to my pack!” Your voice rose in indignation. The audacity of Wonbin to make such baseless claims incensed you beyond measure.
“No,” Wonbin growled as he lunged at you, wrapping his hand around your neck tightly as he pushed you against the wall. “You belong with me so stop resisting it, I know you feel it too. It wasn’t fucking easy getting you here so stop being an ungrateful bitch and be thankful that we saved you.” 
The grip he had on your throat was tight and choking you as you felt your eyes water while your air was constricted. You clawed at his arm in hopes for him to release you. “Stop, please.”
As if he was in a trance, the angered glaze over his eyes snapped back to reality and once he realized what he was doing to you, Wonbin instantly let go, making you fall to the floor gasping for air.
“Oh shit, fuck. I’m sorry I didn’t mean that,” he leaned down to check if you were okay but you quickly took this chance to head butt him on his face and bolt out of the room without even sparing him a second. 
“Fuck!” Wonbin screamed out, no doubt you had atleast done some damage to his face. 
With adrenaline surging through your veins, you dashed out of the room and bolted down the stairs. But any attempt to strategize your escape was cut short as, upon reaching the staircase's base, you were confronted by a cluster of young men—undoubtedly members of Wonbin's pack.
“Don’t let her escape!” Wonbin’s enraged shout echoed behind you, his fury palpable.
Taking advantage of your head start and their initial surprise, you made a beeline for the door. The only thought in your mind was to reach the outside and change into your wolf, but the exit seemed impossibly far. The pack members, larger and swifter than you, quickly closed in from both sides, effectively blocking any route of escape.
“No, get your fucking hands off me!” You screeched, clawing at them to release you, but to no avail, their hold on you was unrelenting as they carried you back upstairs. 
“Fucking bitch got me good,” Wonbin raged, the fire in his eyes blazing fiercely. Blood streamed down his face, evidence of your attack that had left his nose crooked to one side.
They forcefully escorted you back to the room, hurling you inside and slamming the door shut, leaving you alone with Wonbin. Fear gripped your entire being, realizing the extent of his anger from your attempted escape.
“Please, I just want to go home,” you pleaded desperately, tears brimming in your eyes. The unfamiliar surroundings and the presence of strangers sent a shiver down your spine. All you wanted was the familiar warmth and safety of your home.
“I told you, this is your home now. You’re being fucking ungrateful, I saved you!” his voice seethed with frustration. His agitation was palpable, and you sensed he was on the brink of losing control.
How had everything spiraled into this nightmare? How could a chance encounter with someone lead to being kidnapped?
“Wonbin, I know there's nothing between us. You can't keep me here; I'm not your mate. You need to let me go,” you pleaded, but it seemed like your words fell on deaf ears. Wonbin was fixated on the idea that you belonged to him, despite the fleeting and insignificant nature of your prior interaction.
“Stop denying it! The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were meant for me. My wolf connected with yours in a way I've never experienced before!” His voice resonated with fury and desperation.
Your tears flowed freely, a mix of frustration and fear consuming you as you felt utterly powerless in the situation. “You can't force feelings that aren't there! My pack is going to find me, and when they do, Beomgyu is going fucking kill you, you sick bastard!”
The next few moments unfolded in a surreal, almost cinematic manner, as if you were a mere spectator to your own life rather than an active participant. Wonbin lunged at you once more, his hand aiming for your neck. However, instead of tightening his grip, he swiftly turned your head to the side and sank his teeth into the exact spot where Beomgyu's mark rested on your neck.
A searing, blinding sensation shot through every nerve of your body, rendering you immobile. The agony you experienced was a stark contrast to the previous marking by Beomgyu; this pain wasn't the sweet, intimate agony you had felt with his mark. No, this was an excruciating torment, as though molten metal had been poured onto your skin, scorching it raw. The agony consumed you, leaving you helpless to do anything but unleash piercing screams, tears cascading down your hauntingly contorted face. Each moment felt like an eternity as the intensity of the pain grew, until finally, darkness engulfed you, mercifully offering respite from the overwhelming agony.
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You couldn’t determine the length of your imprisonment in this grim place. It felt like days had passed, though it might have stretched into weeks or even months, but you had lost track. Your state resembled catatonia; Wonbin entered your cell multiple times a day, urging you to eat and talk, but your responses were nonexistent. Your weakened body struggled even to sit up, let alone engage with Wonbin's twisted fantasies.
Wonbin's bite had inflicted a devastating toll on you, seemingly killing you both physically and mentally. Once filled with the vibrant energy of your wolf, you now felt a void. Every attempt to connect with your wolf ended in pitch-black emptiness, as if she was never even there in the first place. You were convinced that Wonbin's bite had killed her, leaving you on the brink of succumbing to a similar fate. The wound from his bite festered, refusing to heal and instead spreading its infection throughout your body. Pus oozed from the site, signaling your deteriorating condition. Your body showed signs of impending demise, resembling a shadow of your former self, and the loss of appetite only exacerbated your bleak situation. Desperation for survival eluded you; your spirit had dwindled to a mere spark in the face of such overwhelming torment.
“Y/N, please, you have to eat,” Sungchan pleaded, his voice laced with concern. He had been tasked with delivering your meals every day, but his efforts to persuade you to eat felt futile, a recurring conversation that had lost its impact.
You turned your head to face the tall boy. Sungchan was kind, and in a different circumstance, you might have found friendship in him. Yet, in this grim reality, he was undeniably tied to Wonbin and his pack, making it impossible to separate the two in your mind.
Shaking your head weakly, you whispered, “I don’t want to die here.”
His brows furrowed in genuine worry, “You’re not going to die.”
With a bitter laugh that drained you further, you retorted, “Yesterday, one of your elders and your Alpha were here to check on me. I heard them talking outside. They said I was dying. It won’t be long now, I suppose.”
“We’re not going to let you die. Just eat, it’ll make you feel better,” Sungchan persisted, his tone tinged with helplessness. He attempted to convince you, although deep down, he knew their efforts might be hollow at this point.
“You know that’s not true.” Your voice was barely a whisper, filled with a longing to see your pack one last time, to find solace in Beomgyu's warm embrace before dying.
Sungchan grappled with conflicting thoughts. He had no firsthand experience of having a mate, but seeing your deteriorating condition made him question everything. In the beginning, he believed his friend's claims, but the more he witnessed your decline, the more he realized the falsehoods in Wonbin's assertions. How could you possibly be Wonbin's mate when you only got worse ened the longer you were under his control?
“Can I ask you for a favor?” Your question interrupted his thoughts, causing Sungchan to startle slightly. He nodded slowly, his expression reflecting uncertainty about your request. “When I die, can you tell Beomgyu that this wasn’t his fault and that I love him?” With that, you turned away, settling back onto your bed.
Sungchan’s eyes filled with tears at your words, feeling the weight of your words settle heavily upon him. 
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You were sure it isn't time for breakfast yet when you're awakened, and from what you can see through the crack between the curtains, it's still the middle of the night.
"What's happening?" You croaked, your eyes adjusting to the light. Before you stood Sungchan, accompanied by Anton, another one of Wonbin’s pack mates, though you haven't been as acquainted with him as you were with Sungchan.
"You have to be quiet. Here, wear this," Sungchan instructed, handing you dark clothes. He and Anton turn around, offering you privacy to change. You hesitated, but complied.
"What's going on?" You repeated once you were changed, utterly confused by the unexpected turn of events.
“We’re getting you out.” Anton revealed. 
The words seemed surreal, and your disbelief was evident on your face, prompting Sungchan to reaffirm what the younger boy just said. "Yeah, we're going to help you return to your pack. Back to your mate," Sungchan whispered to you.
Your eyes widened, but you were not entirely convinced. Just hours earlier, there was no sign that Sungchan would fulfill your wish to return home, so you remained cautious.
“We have to be really quiet, though. The Alpha and Wonbin are both on patrol duty alongside a couple of the others, but Eunseok is still next door, so we have to be careful.” You were still reeling with the fact that this seemed to be happening, but you didn’t hesitate to nod.
The three of you then quickly made your way out, moving stealthily down the stairs, holding your breaths, hoping there were no creaks to wake up Eunseok. It felt surreal when you reached the back door, and when Anton opened it, fresh air greeted you, bringing tears to your eyes. 
“Through the back part of the woods, there are only two patrols tonight, so that’s the route we’re going to take. It’s going to take a little longer, but we can’t risk getting caught at all,” Sungchan informed you of the plan as the three of you navigated through the woods, staying vigilant, taking in your surroundings in case anyone was out in these areas. 
“You’re wearing Sungchan’s clothes, so hopefully his smell masks you enough to not stick out to anyone. Sorry if it’s stinky,” Anton chuckled a little, attempting to lighten the situation. However, you frowned, realizing you couldn’t detect his scent or any scent at all, even when you pressed your nose firmly against the sweatshirt. It dawned on you that your wolf might have truly perished, leaving you unsure if you could even transform anymore.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” After a somber silence, Sungchan broke the quietness. “I really thought you were Wonbin’s mate. The way he came to us after meeting you had everyone convinced that he really had found his mate.”
Anton nodded, a pained expression on his face. “Yeah, we were blinded by our loyalty, too caught up to realize he might’ve been mistaken. We thought you had been stolen from your true mate when, in reality, we were the ones stealing you from yours.”
Your heart ached with the realization of the damage Wonbin had caused, dragging innocent people into the turmoil created by his misguided infatuation. “I can’t say that I can fully come to forgive you guys, but thank you for saying that. I know that ultimately, Wonbin is to blame, and you were acting in response to your loyalty towards him, but I think there are irreversible consequences due to what happened. I can’t feel my wolf.”
Anton gasped, turning towards you in disbelief. “What do you mean?”
“She’s been gone since Wonbin bit me, and no matter how much I’ve called out for her, I’m just left with coldness. I think that’s why I’m dying. I can’t smell anything, and I’m not even sure I have the strength to turn, if I can even do that,” you explained, feeling the despair of being stripped of the essence of your being.
“Maybe she’ll come back once we get you back. I’m sure of it,” Sungchan offered in a faint attempt to provide hope.
You offered back a tight smile, but you weren’t as optimistic as they seemed to be. 
"Okay, once we pass this tree, we'll likely be in range for the patrol guys to hear or catch our scent. Anton and I will handle them; while we're distracting them, you need to circle around through those trees and start running. This is as far as we can take you without raising suspicion," Sungchan explained the plan, making your heart race knowing how close you were to making it back home.
"Thank you both for doing this, and I'm sorry Wonbin dragged you into this mess." Even though you knew they weren't entirely innocent in your capture, you couldn't shake the guilt over how Wonbin's selfish desires had caused such chaos. Returning to your pack, you knew they wouldn't let Wonbin's pack get away with what they'd done. There was likely going to be war waged between the packs, especially once they see Wonbin’s mark on your skin. 
"I am genuinely so sorry for everything, Y/N and there’s probably no chance we'll meet again, but I hope you get better," Anton said, offering you a final smile before they leave, heading towards the patrolled area.
From behind a large tree, you could faintly hear Sungchan and Anton making noises, signaling your cue to start running along the path they'd instructed.
You were exhausted, each step feeling like your last as fatigue weighed heavily on your body. However, the thought of reuniting with your pack pushed you to take one more step until you seemed to have reached a main road. Keeping your pace, you kept going, not knowing exactly where you were, but you knew the further away you were from Wonbin, the safer you were. 
You didn’t know how long you had been running but you knew you had reached almost the end of what your body could withstand with hour your vision started to cloud with black spots, and breathing became harder and harder. Then, a flashing bright light caught your attention, sending a bolt of fear through your already exhausted frame. Had they finally caught up to you?
Instinctively, you swerved to flee, but unexpectedly collided with someone, the impact forcing the air from your lungs. “Oof!”
“Y/N?” The voice that uttered your name was tinged with astonishment and disbelief
Looking up, as you recognized the face, a strange mix of relief and exhaustion enveloped you. Your body, sensing safety, began to shut down, pushed beyond its limit.
"Hey, I need backup over here!" Taehyun's dad's urgent call resonated through the air, likely directed to the other members of the patrol. He turned back to you with reassurance. "Y/N, hey, I've got you. We've got you. You're safe now," were the last words you heard before everything went black.
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A sliver of bright sunlight peeked through the curtain, momentarily blinding you as your eyes fluttered open. The events of the past few days flooded back into your hazy consciousness, almost convincing you that it had all been a terrible nightmare. But as you attempted to move, your body protested with searing pain, a stark reminder that Wonbin's kidnapping had been reality.
Beside you, a figure in the bedroom chair stirred, catching your attention. "Y/N," Beomgyu blinked rapidly, trying to fully awaken at the sight of you. Instantly, waves of emotion surged within you, and tears streamed down your face. You were home.
"Shh, baby, it's okay." Beomgyu hurried to your side, enfolding you in his comforting embrace. His hand gently smoothed your hair as you sobbed into his reassuring warmth.
"Is this real?" You managed to ask through your tears.
"Yes, it is. I'm here," Beomgyu reassured you, holding you close until your emotions began to settle. "I'll go let everyone know you're awake. I'll be back."
Sniffling, you nodded, watching him leave the room. Yet, as you waited for Beomgyu's return, you couldn't shake the realization that your wolf had not returned. Sungchan's hopeful assumption that she would come back once you were reunited with your mate seemed to be disproved, leaving you feeling the absence of your essential part.
As Beomgyu re-entered the room, your parents followed closely behind, their emotions palpable as they laid eyes on your awakened state. Your mother dissolved into inconsolable sobs, her hands shielding her tear-streaked face, while your father, fighting back his own emotions, enveloped you in a tight embrace.
“Honey, I'm so sorry,” your father murmured, his embrace filled with both relief and regret. “We searched everywhere for you. They covered their tracks meticulously, even masking their scents with wolfsbane. It was impossible to trace.”
Beomgyu nodded in agreement, his expression tinged with restrained anger. “Every lead was a dead end. We knew their pack was nearby, with the way they had been causing trouble with us regarding the borders, but they hid you well. We did everything to find you, but they were one step ahead. It was well-planned, and I'm sorry we couldn't rescue you sooner.”
You observed the simmering fury behind the controlled facades of your father and Beomgyu. You knew they were suppressing their rage for your sake, but now that you were returned, they wouldn't hold back against Wonbin's pack.
“Sweetheart, what have they done to you?” Your mother's heart-wrenching words pierced the air as she took in your weakened state. The contrast from your healthy and vibrant self before your capture to your current frail appearance was stark. You looked drained and sickly, hollowed out by the ordeal. Despite the bandages concealing Wonbin’s bite, you felt the continuous deterioration within your body, an unrelenting decay.
“Wonbin, he-” You choked on the memory of the abuse inflicted upon you. “He marked me, tried to claim me, but my wolf rejected it. In the midst of it, I think... I think it killed her.”
Your mother's gasp reverberated through the room upon your revelation. “I can’t reach her. I can’t smell, hear, and I don’t think I can shift right now.”
Beomgyu huffed with suppressed anger, visible veins bulging in his neck as he struggled to contain his rage. His wolf seethed, enraged at the state his mate had been returned in. Despite your reunion, his wolf remained unable to feel yours. His desperate howls for her went unanswered.
“We’ll call the Elders; they’ll know what to do. Don’t worry about that now, focus on getting better,” your father attempted to reassure you, though uncertainty lingered in his voice.
“Yes, later we’ll discuss this with the Alpha and the Elders. But rest for now; you need it. Beomgyu will stay with you, he’ll make you feel better” your mother addressed your mate, receiving a nod confirming his intention to remain by your side. Beomgyu had made it clear he would never let you out of his sight again.
You nodded at your parents as they hugged you tightly, your mother holding back sobs before leaving you to rest. The room fell into a solemn quiet, only disrupted by the sound of Beomgyu's stifled sniffles. As you turned to him, you noticed tears streaming down his face. The once fiery anger in his expression had given way to an overwhelming sense of devastation.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry, I couldn’t do anything,” he said, kneeling beside your bed. A closer look revealed how much he had been affected. His vibrant features were now pale and worn out, the usual sparkle in his eyes replaced with a hollow emptiness. He seemed sleep-deprived, his exhaustion etched into every line of his face. Your heart ached at the sight of him.
“Oh, Beomgyu, it’s not your fault,” you reassured him, reaching out to cup his face and wiping away a tear.
“But you are my responsibility. Mine to cherish and mine to keep safe, but I failed you in every way a mate can. Now you're bearing the consequences. I feel like a part of me was ripped away and I ache, longing to feel you again, but I can’t. I can’t imagine what you went through, what you’re going through right now,” Beomgyu's words were heavy with guilt, taking on responsibility for your suffering even though it wasn't his fault.
"Baby, it’s not your fault. Wonbin’s the only one to blame for everything, you can’t put that on yourself," you reassured him, gently urging him to come up onto the bed. "Come on, let’s sleep. I think we both need it."
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As the days slipped by in a blur since your awakening, the constant stream of visitors revealed a spectrum of emotions, from guilt to sadness, from your friends. Meetings with the Elders and the Alpha became routine, although you struggled to remain engaged for long as fatigue often overcame you, urging you back to rest. Despite everyone’s best efforts, you didn’t seem to be getting better.
"We know where they are, why can't we just go after them?" Beomgyu's frustration echoed in his raised voice, pacing the room in agitation. With each passing day, his impatience grew regarding the lack of decisive action.
"We can't risk a war," his father stated with an exhausted sigh, understanding his son's sentiments all too well. As much as he empathized with his son's anger and the injustice done to the family, his role as Alpha demanded a broader perspective. You were now part of his family, and the assault on his loved ones evoked a deep sense of anger and distress, but his responsibilities to the pack weighed heavily in decision-making.
“She's your fucking daughter-in-law, my mate, and you're just going to let them get away with what they did to her?” Beomgyu's anger surged, directed at his father, causing Yeonjun to stand and attempt to calm his younger brother.
His father, burdened by the weight of leadership, sighed deeply, trying to maintain composure amidst the escalating emotions. "They will face consequences, but we must proceed with caution. We can't rush into a conflict," he tried to reason, his tone strained with the gravity of the situation.
Beomgyu, consumed by fear and anger, felt a surge of despair. "Clearly not! Stop being a fucking pussy and hiding behind diplomacy! She's dying, and if she goes, I know I will too. So I hope you don’t regret not acting then," he raged before storming out, leaving behind a stunned silence.
He made a beeline for the house next door and straight to your room, knowing your fragile state. Seeing you weakened and still without your wolf, his heart ached with a raw intensity. He wasn't just fighting for justice; he was fighting for your life, aware that losing you now would shatter him beyond repair. 
The atmosphere in the room was heavy with unspoken sorrow as Beomgyu settled next to you. His presence brought a fleeting comfort that momentarily eased the weight of your pain.
“How’re you feeling?” His voice was tender, his concern evident in the way he gazed at you.
You managed a faint smile, making room for him under the covers. “I’ve been okay, just the same. My shoulder hurts a lot, but I think I’m kind of used to the ache now.”
As he joined you in bed, you nestled into his embrace, seeking solace in his warmth. His arms enveloped you, offering a sense of security in this uncertain time. The quiet moments with Beomgyu were the highlights in your otherwise bleak days, and you cherished this closeness.
“I promise you’ll get better, I’ll do everything I can,” he murmured softly, his words filled with sincerity even as the harsh reality loomed over both of you. The hope for a recovery seemed dim, despite the Elders' efforts.
“It’s okay, Beomgyu,” you replied, your voice quivering with emotion. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, looking at him with a fragile smile. The weight of the situation hung in the air, and both of you knew the inevitable truth. Yet, in that moment, you found solace in each other’s presence, clinging to the love that bound you together.
In the quiet of the room, hearts heavy and minds burdened, you held onto each other, hoping against hope that love would somehow conquer the devastation. As sleep enveloped you, you both prayed for a miracle, for anything that could piece together the shattered fragments of your world.
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The night laid still, marked only by distant owl hoots, yet you jolted awake, an unusual occurrence for you to rise before dawn. Reaching out beside you, your hand met nothing but cold sheets. Beomgyu was gone.
You scanned the room frantically, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but there was no trace. Fumbling for your lamp, you sought the solace of light to offer some clarity. His absence in the dead of night was unfamiliar and unsettling.
As you contemplated getting out of bed, the door creaked open. Your body tensed with uncertainty, until the form of a familiar, colossal beast emerged, its fur as dark as the night itself. Relief swept over you momentarily, recognizing the distinct wolf form to be none other than your mate. However, as the figure drew closer, a viscous liquid dripping from their fur became apparent, sparking fear in your eyes.
“What happened?” You instinctively reached for his fur, panic setting in as you saw your hands smeared in crimson. You inspected every inch of the wolf's body, but there's no clear source for such an amount of blood, easing your immediate concern yet deepening your confusion.
“Beomgyu, whose blood is this?” You implored, meeting his glowing blue eyes, yet you received no response. He ignored your inquiries, seeking solace in your embrace as his massive wolf form pressed against you, compelling you to encircle your arms around his colossal figure.
“Please, babe, what happened?” You pleaded once more, urging him to meet your gaze. He let out a faint huff before finally shifting back into his human form, standing bare before you, his body coated in blood that seemed inexplicably present, prompting a surge of concern. 
He pulled you into a tight embrace, unconcerned about the blood smearing everywhere, and you reciprocated, though his words sent a shiver down your spine. "Wonbin, we took care of him and his pack."
His revelation chilled you to the bone as the implications sank in. "What do you mean? Beomgyu, what did you do?"
“We couldn't just stand by after what he did to you. We went after him tonight. You don't need to worry about them anymore.” You felt a mix of relief and confusion, wanting more clarity.
"Who's 'we,' and what exactly happened?" You broke away from the hug, studying his eyes and blood-spattered face.
"Me, Taehyun, Chaewon, and Yeonjun went out tonight. Taehyun had been tracking Wonbin's every move and knew he was on patrol. We ambushed him, and he gave a good fight, but I think he underestimated me. He got what he deserved, left his head at his dad's doorstep. That should be a message to them. If they're smart, they'll know not to provoke us again, or they'll lose more than just him." His words filled you with both awe and dread, knowing your friends risked their lives to gain justice for you.
“Beomgyu, you shouldn't have risked it. Your dad is going to be furious. He doesn’t know, does he?” Your voice was fraught with concern, aware of his father's adamant stance against taking any action until he understood the situation completely.
He shook his head, seemingly unperturbed by his father's potential reaction. “He’s probably finding out now. Yeonjun said he’d handle him, but honestly, I don't care about the consequences. Wonbin needed to pay for what he did to you, and if I get punished for that, then so be it.”
“So it’s really over now?” you asked, feeling a surge of relief.
Beomgyu nodded, and a sob of relief escaped you. You surged toward him, wrapping him in a passionate kiss. Emotions from the tumultuous days surged through both of you, an overwhelming mix of love and relief, as if you were making up for the lost time. The kiss was intense, as if he had been deprived of you for an eternity.
His hands play with the hem of your shirt, the only thing you were wearing to sleep along with your underwear, and unable to stand his teasing, you to rip it off of you. Your bare body presses against his as you reconnect your lips. Both your hands roam all over each other’s bodies, unable to get enough of one another. 
"God, Y/N, I'm in love with you," his voice trembled with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. It was a revelation, a confession, delivered with such raw emotion that it brought a swell of emotions flooding through you. Your eyes welled up with tears as you realized the depth of his feelings, and your heart soared at the sheer overwhelming love he was expressing. 
"I love you too," you managed to whisper back, your voice choked with emotion. 
You leaned in to connect your lips again. Unlike any other times where the two of you were just fucking, this felt different. This shared love between you changed the very dynamic that surged between the two of you. The way Beomgyu moved inside of you wasn’t just to chase the feeling of mere superficial pleasure, instead the slow pace and shared kisses brought on beyond anything you had previously felt. It was a true form of unadulterated love and as the two of you reached your peaks together, you knew all too well at that moment that this was rare, pure, and dare you say perfect love found between you and him. 
Still swept up in a euphoric rush that felt endless, Beomgyu sensed a deep understanding of his next move. Guided by his wolf’s instincts, but now with complete clarity unlike before, he acted with determination. His bite landed directly on your marred skin where Wonbin had forcefully marked you, signaling a symbolic reset in you and his connection.
Your breath hitched as his teeth grazed your skin. Although the previous marking had been excruciating and left you raw, Beomgyu's bite seemed to bring an unexpected sensation. It was as if his action was a remedy, a healing touch that started to mend the shattered pieces within you, making you feel whole once more.
And the next morning, the second you woke up, a radiant smile graced your face brighter than the morning sun at the realization. You turned towards your mate, excitement twinkling in your eyes, and exclaimed, "My wolf's back."
227 notes · View notes
alexawynters · 4 months
Text
Scarlet Whispers pt. 8
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Gif not mine, as always
Trigger Warnings: Smuttttttt. Horribly written smut.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader
Rating: M. Minors DNI
Masterlist with parts 1-7 here
Chapter Eight
Translations: котёнок - Kitten; malyshka - baby; lyubov - love; dorogoya - darling; I probably missed some… I should have probably been doing this the entire time, no? Eh… My b.
A/N: Its uhhh.. My first time writing smut for the public so uh… be gentle pls? Lol. Lemme know how it went. Writing dialog and smut makes me cringe haha. This was also written while I was in the hospital. Is it bad that the 5 day stay was almost a vacation compared to life? Haha, living the dreeeaammm. Someone pls hit me with their car or something so I can go back and have 0 responsibilities for another week. Promise I won’t sue 😛
Once again, edited while floaty. Apparently that’s the only time I can get the motivation to open my laptop. In my defense, I’m currently in the middle of a move and starting a new job so pls forgive my laziness. I’m a tad overwhelmed. It’s finnnne. 
____________________________________________________________
During your time at the aquarium with Wanda, you hadn't noticed how late it had gotten. Logically, you knew it was around dinner time because you both had just eaten, but you didn't realize until you both entered the dimly lit cottage that it was so dark outside. Despite the long day you’d had, you weren't ready to go to bed just yet. Body thrumming with an unfamiliar energy, and you could tell it stemmed from Wanda's hand still holding onto your waist. Now that you were home, it would be socially acceptable for her to let you go, but instead, she chose to linger.
Never one to enjoy having others in your personal space, regardless of if you were touch starved, you were thrilled to discover that you didn't mind the witch being so close to you. In fact, the mere thought of being separated from her made your stomach roil with anxiety. Looking at the redhead next to you as you traversed the hallway towards your room for the evening, a new kind of craving overcame you. This one was different from the hunger you had experienced just before dinner, and you realized that you couldn't get enough of the witch’s touch and presence.
Reaching your shared room Wanda finally moves to separate from you, and as she heads opposite from you, her hand falling away, you make a split-second decision. Well. Decision was being generous. More accurately you allowed your impulses to take over, unable to think logically - you couldn’t let Wanda get too far. Not that there was anywhere for her to go in a bedroom you both shared, but your brain wasn’t exactly running on all cylinders at this time.
“Wait!” 
You don’t know what, or even if you were thinking, knowing only that in the scant few feet the witch was away from you, your whole world felt like it was collapsing. A lightly calloused hand shot out as you turned to grab her hand again, and in your exuberance, you accidentally ended up yanking the woman towards you. In an unexpected feat of grace surprising both of you, you managed to catch Wanda. Despite her velocity, you were able to use her momentum, spinning both of you. A small jolt of pain wracked through your bones as your back landed harshly against the smooth wall, with Wanda safely in your arms. Chests heaved for air, both of you having fully expected to collide, ending up in a heap on the floor.
After the initial surprise wore off, both women giggled, though neither made a move to separate. “What is it, Y/N?” the older woman asked. Amusement colored her gaze, mixed with something else you couldn’t quite decipher. You were still learning new facial expressions to this day. 
“I-” You started then stopped, trying to assemble your thoughts and determine just how vulnerable you were willing to be. “Thank you, Wanda. For today. For… everything. This was..” you trailed off, unable to find the words. “Everything.”
You hoped Wanda would understand what you meant by that even if you yourself weren’t quite sure just yet. What you were sure of is that you wanted to return to Wanda at least a fraction of the care and devotion she had shown you in all this time. You knew you didn’t want her to walk away, heart aching at the concept. What you didn’t know was what you wanted to do next, you hadn’t exactly gotten that far, but you couldn’t stomach the thought of being apart from her.
The redhead’s gaze softened at your words. “You don’t need to thank me, lyubov. You deserve so much, and I just want you to be happy.” 
The words “with me” went unspoken, though she was dying to let them out. Instead, well-manicured hands lifted the tips of her fingers to gently push some fallen strands of your hair from  your face, as she studied you curiously. A feeling you both were on the precipice of something settled firmly within the witch’s chest. Wanda was fairly confident she knew exactly what that something was, but she wouldn’t plunge you into anything you weren’t yet ready to fall into.
Though certain in her assumptions, Wanda was unable to clearly read your surface thoughts. A jumbled mass of emotions, each thought no more than fleeting before another took its place, your mind was a whirlwind. The next steps had to be taken by you, and if you weren’t up for that yet, the redhead was content with where you both were at this moment. 
A palpable tension filled the air, conveying an unspoken awareness that something transformative was about to occur. Anticipation lingered in the atmosphere, creating a delicate blend of nervousness and excitement. There was an understated, magnetic attraction that drew you closer to Wanda. Completely unaware as you were, enthralled by the alluring softness of her lips which stoked a longing within you to know if they felt as velvety as they appeared, you were unconsciously learning forward.
It was a moment of breathless expectation, where time seemed to stretch. The world had fallen away, leaving only the two of you suspended in the beauty of the impending inevitability. Eyes finally connecting with Wanda’s, a silent, mutual understanding was shared, and in that moment, you made a decision.
”May I…?” your voice a husky tremor, thick with emotion.
Never had Wanda found you more endearing than in that moment. Your innocent consideration that you would need to ask her permission after everything. As if she hadn't been waiting for this very moment for so long. As if this wasn’t what she had been waiting for since first discovering the Darkhold, and all the possibilities of a multiverse.
“Please, Y/N.” The witch’s reply was all but a breathy whisper.
As your lips and hers finally connected in a gentle, exploratory kiss, an electric current seemed to pass through their bodies, igniting a fire within your souls. It was a moment of pure magic, a culmination of all the emotions and desires that had been building between you both. Breaths mingled, blending together in a perfect harmony of passion and longing.
The softness of the kiss spoke volumes, revealing a depth of connection that you were certain words could never fully capture. A tender exchange, filled with a delicate balance of vulnerability and trust. Each touch, each movement of Wanda’s lips against yours, was deliberate, as if she was savoring every precious moment of this newfound intimacy with you.
With every passing second, the world around faded away, leaving only the two of you enveloped in a bubble of pure bliss. Time seemed to stand still as you explored this uncharted territory together. A feeling as if something inside, you hadn’t known had been missing, was now perfectly slotted into place. Home.
When it came to kissing you, Wanda marveled at the stark contrasts between your Avenger variant, and you. While your other variant was self-assured, often taking command of a kiss with practiced skill, you, on the other hand, were gentle and tentative. It was evident that you were willing to let Wanda take the lead, which she found incredibly empowering, almost addictive. She knew she should probably take this first kiss slowly for you, however, your submissiveness was simply too delicious for her to pass up such an opportunity.
Long, slender fingers came to rest just under your jaw, firmly holding you close, Wanda using her body to press you harder against the wall, as if trying to merge your two bodies into one. A gasp escaped you at the length of the witch’s body pressed so intimately against you. Wanda, ever opportunistic, took advantage of your open mouth to deepen the kiss, her lithe tongue swiping softly at the seam of your lips in askance. 
You couldn’t even fathom a moment where you would ever deny Wanda this request, opening your mouth to grant her the access she desired. Her skillful tongue sensually slid against yours, eliciting a barely suppressed whimper from you. With a little coaxing Wanda was able to entice your tongues to engage in a seductive dance, leaving you breathless and heady. 
Eventually, the kiss broke, leaving both of you craving more. It had opened the door to a world of possibilities, and in that moment, everything changed. The bond between the pair of you had deepened more than you could know, and more than Wanda had hoped for. Despite initial reservations, your heart knew then you would follow Wanda anywhere, irrevocably tied to the witch forever. There was no one you wanted or trusted more.
While trying to catch your breath, no words were spoken. Taking this moment, your intrusive thoughts began creeping in because of course they were. Desperately you hoped the woman wouldn’t view the kiss as a mistake, praying that you measured up to your superhero counterpart. That you were truly what she had been looking for all this time, even if you weren’t anything special.
You would do anything to have her lips on yours again, and briefly a thought occurred to you that this woman could murder you, and you would probably thank her for the privilege. Therapy, maybe you should ask Wanda if she could get you in to see a therapist, because that wasn’t concerning at all. 
It wasn't in you to feel ashamed just then though, not when the very thought resonated in your soul. Gods, was this what you had been missing your entire life? And it had been right under your nose, for ages you had been unknowingly depriving yourself, hellbent on self-sabotage.
As you finally caught your breath, the witch gazed at you hungrily, causing a shiver to race down your spine.
"What do you want, detka?" Wanda asked, voice sultry. She tilted her head as if curious, but in reality, she was relishing in your disheveled appearance, eyes raking over your blown pupils, and kiss-swollen lips. So responsive for her, and this was only a kiss. Your first kiss with her, to be specific. Wanting to completely ruin you, it took every ounce of self-restraint for Wanda to wait for your answer instead.
Chest heaving, your brain struggled to pull together enough brain cells in order to provide her with an answer. When you finally spoke, your voice had a throaty quality you had never heard before.
”You. I want you.”
Green eyes, the color of jade, sparkled in such delight they could have practically illuminated the room with their vibrant glow. As you stared into her mesmerizing gaze, you got lost in her presence. Your mind was a myriad of thoughts, unable to focus on anything else. Every word she spoke, every movement she made, had a profound impact on you. As if the witch had cast a spell over you, weaving her magic effortlessly, and you willingly succumbed to her enchantment, eager to be under her captivating influence. 
A mischievous smile played upon her lips, adding an air of mystery to her already enchanting demeanor. The grin hinted at the hidden depths within her, the playful intentions that lied just beneath the surface. So, as Wanda’s mischievous smile lingered, you couldn't help but be drawn further into her web of enchantment, willingly surrendering yourself to the metaphorical spell she had cast.
"Oh, lyubov, will you let me ruin you?" she asked teasingly, her voice filled with impishness and a hint of excitement.
Swallowing nervously, you felt desire building deep within you. Your experiences in this matter were limited, but you trusted the former avenger all the same. Still, you had a sneaking suspicion that whatever Wanda had in store for you would likely test your limits, even if you had no idea what those were yet. Eagerly, you nodded, ready to throw yourself headlong into this unknown, trusting the witch implicitly.
The moment her silky lips met yours once again, a hunger ignited within her, surprising both of you with its intensity and passion. Wanda pulled you close, her fingers curled in your hair, keeping you in place as she plundered your mouth. You could do little but let her lead the way, trying not to embarrass yourself with how much she was turning you on. Her sharp teeth tugged on your lower lip before biting down hard enough to draw blood. A pitiful whine was barely restrained by you as Wanda lapped at the new wound she had caused.
Deciding to test your boundaries during the kiss, the redhead gently wrapped her other hand around your throat. Not tight enough to cut off your oxygen supply, but the pressure did restrict some of the blood flow to your brain, leaving you in a deliciously foggy haze. A breathy moan escaped you, which Wanda eagerly swallowed as you gladly ceded control of the kiss to her. Pride out the window, you were no longer capable of trying to withhold any sounds she could draw from you. Wanda found it delightful that so far you were proving to be the perfect little котёнок for her. The redhead eagerly anticipated discovering what other surprises you had in store for her.
The other hand not on your neck moved from your hair down to the first button of your shirt and hesitated. “Is this okay, Y/N?” She asked, voice surprisingly soft for someone who currently had one of their hands wrapped around your neck.
Sluggish thoughts hazy with lust, you nodded with what would have probably counted as an embarrassing amount of enthusiasm. Having someone as gorgeous as Wanda in front of you, asking for your consent, you found you couldn’t be bothered by your eagerness. You were a simp, and you were fine with that. Anything to get more of Wanda touching you.
The former Avenger grinned, finding you utterly adorable. She was charmed by how needy you were for her. Unable to help but revel in the power dynamics between you, relishing the opportunity to challenge your blissed-out mind and watch as you struggled to comply with her demands. It was a delightful game for Wanda, and she was going to have fun training you.
Before she could continue though, the witch wanted you to be absolutely sure. Regardless of how long she had waited for you, if you weren’t truly ready, Wanda didn’t want to push you. She wanted all of you, everything you had to give, but if you still weren’t ready, weren’t sure, she could wait. Wanda would wait forever if she had to. 
 “Lyubov moya, if you want me to stop at any point, just say the word, and I’ll stop immediately, okay? Full stop, I promise, and I won’t be upset with you.” she insisted, voice thick with longing as her nose grazed gently across yours in a reassuring manner. 
Even now, Wanda was always putting your safety and happiness as her top priority, endearing her evermore to you. How could you have ever doubted that this woman had anything but your best interests at heart? The purest of intentions?
Knowing it was a bit over dramatic, while you appreciated her reassurances, if the witch didn’t do something in the next few seconds, you felt like you might combust. Releasing a needy whine, you hoped to convey your desperation to Wanda who only chuckled at your behavior. 
“Relax, malyshka, I’ll take good care of you, I promise. But first, I need you to use your words, darling.” The hand on your throat easing its grip a little, allowing more blood to your brain, giving you back some of your intellectual capacity.
With Wanda’s body covering yours, you petulantly ground against her in the hopes of achieving any sort of friction, causing her lips to quirk upwards in an amused smirk. You weren’t going to get out of this until she had confirmation of your understanding, and if she happened to tease you into a petulant, writing mess in the process, well, that was just the cherry on top.
Giving in, you let out a keening whimper. “I understand Wands, please. Just touch me. Please!”
A wolfish grin overtook Wanda’s face at your begging. Green eyes locked with yours, and she could see the desire and longing in your eyes, mirroring her own. The way you looked at her, with a mixture of vulnerability and trust, made her heart flutter with a sense of joy and fulfillment. You were willing to surrender yourself to her guidance, to allow her to take the lead and shape you into the person she knew you could become. That kind of implicit trust and faith you had in her shot her arousal through the roof.
With each passing moment, Wanda's excitement grew, knowing that she had the opportunity to train and mold you into her perfect little котёнок. She relished the thought of all the fun games that lay ahead, confident in her ability to guide you towards your full potential. Your willingness to submit to her desires fueled her passion, making her all the more determined to own you completely. This power was the ultimate high, and she didn’t think she could ever get enough of it.
Her hand moved from your throat to wrap around your waist with a firm yet gentle grasp, pulling you closer to her in an undeniable display of ownership. The touch of her hand on your hip sent a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins, igniting a fire within you that you had never experienced before. It was a possessiveness that transcended the boundaries of mere desire, a possessiveness that spoke volumes about the depth of her emotions for you.
Far from being suffocating, her dominance was a testament to the strength of your bond. A tangible manifestation of the passion that burned between the two of you, it was a flame that only grew stronger with each passing moment. Her assertive touch was a declaration, a proclamation of her utter devotion and fierce protectiveness towards you.
In that instant, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings. A sensation that both thrilled and comforted you, it was a magnetic pull that drew you closer to her with each passing second. Feeling as if you were the center of her universe, the focus of her unfaltering attention, and you visibly preened under her attentiveness. Your hands which were clenching the bottom of her shirt held fast, unwilling to let her move more than a few inches away.
Now that she had your consent and had subtly established your place with her, Wanda's svelte hands returned to the task of unbuttoning your shirt. Unable to resist the allure of your lips for long, she passionately kissed you once again. As your lips moved against each other with a sensual rhythm, Wanda swiftly unbuttoned your shirt. Before you knew it, your shirt was completely undone, revealing your torso to her exploring hands. A shiver ran through your body as her slightly cool palm pressed against your abdomen for the very first time, the gravity of her body pressing you further into the wall. While you had felt her touch on your skin before, it had never been this intimate, this exhilarating.
As her hand glided over your bare skin, heat coursed through your body, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. The flames within you steadily stoked by every caress. Your breath hitched as her touch lingered, tracing delicate patterns along your abdomen.
Growing desperate you deepened the kiss. Your hands instinctively reach for her, moving from the hem of her shirt to tangle in her hair as you pull her closer. The magnitude of the moment was almost too much, feeling the desire consuming you from within.
Wanda's lips slid against yours with a fervent hunger. Her roving hands continued their journey, tracing every curve and contour of your torso with an almost reverent touch, sending pleasure coursing through your body. As your lips moved in perfect synchrony, heightening your senses, it left you yearning for more. The room was filled with a heady mix of desire and anticipation, as you both gave in to the draw of the moment..
Lost in the haze of passion, you couldn't help but give yourself completely to Wanda's touch. The way she explored every inch of your body with a delicate yet possessive hand left you breathless, craving more of her commanding aura. It was a dance of pleasure and surrender, a symphony of sensations that left you craving her touch like a drug. You had never needed anyone or anything as much as you needed Wanda to continue doing whatever she wanted to you.
As the kiss broke, both of you gasped for air. Wanda, still breathing heavily, leaned back to take in the sight of your newly revealed skin, her eyes darkening with want. Though never having been confident in your own body, often choosing to cover up, to hide in your self-consciousness, the way Wanda was looking at you now though left no doubt she liked what she saw. Yet still your insecurities plagued you, especially now that you were no longer covered up and there was nothing for you to hide behind.
The witch didn’t need to read your mind to know where your thoughts were going. The expression on your face, the way you tried to curl in on yourself made it plain. Voice thick with desire, Wanda needed to reassure you. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N. Don’t ever let yourself believe otherwise.”
Though you didn’t truly believe her words, her tone and the way she held you like she couldn’t get enough was almost capable of convincing you in and of itself. You decided then that throwing yourself into this was the fastest way to get out of your head. Throwing caution to the wind, you slammed your lips against Wanda’s again, desperate for more of her.
Impatient, you couldn't resist the urge to guide Wanda's hands lower, craving for her to touch you more. Deft fingers brushed against a particularly sensitive spot, sending a surge of pleasure  shooting through you, and tearing a quiet gasp from your mouth. Your body responded eagerly to her every caress, arching into her hands, silently begging for more. Emboldened by your response, Wanda's touch grew daring, her kisses to your neck pressing harder leaving red welts that would purple over by tomorrow. Her marks on you would tell all who you belonged to. Her fingers began exploring your body with a newfound confidence. The touch was both gentle and possessive, leaving you with the utter clarity that she wanted to mark every inch of you as her own, even the parts of you no one else would ever see.
The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, heavy with desire. Feeling the urgency building within you, your body pressed closer to Wanda's, seeking to ease some of the pressure within. Her touch was all at once overwhelming yet not enough.
Determined to elicit every delicious sound she could from you, one of Wanda's hands finally moved to your breast. Gently she cupped it while her thumb teased you by gliding around your areola, avoiding your hardened bud. She took great enjoyment in your whimpers and gasps as she teased you. If she had it her way, she would keep you like this, never giving you quite what you wanted. Wanda would ease you into that eventually though. For now, this was enough.
Eventually she had mercy on you, letting her thumb lightly graze across your nipple. A deep, throaty groan emanated from within you, your hips bucking against hers, unbidden. Taking the opportunity you had presented her with, Wanda slotted her knee between your thighs, applying firm pressure just where you needed it most. You whispered an exhaled curse as your head slumped forward onto the older woman’s shoulder. Your grip on her tightened, the urge to just rut against Wanda’s leg nearly overpowering what little was left of your rational mind.
Wanda could feel the subtle grinding of your hips against her leg, and she encouraged it, pressing harder each time you arched towards her. The witch grasped your hips firmly, helping to set your rhythm as you desperately sought more friction between the apex of your thighs.
For someone who hadn't even taken off their pants yet, you were surprisingly worked up, but you were far too focused on chasing your high to be overly concerned about it. Sensing how close you were, Wanda pulled away from you, calling forth a keening whine from you. The older woman chuckled softly at your desperation. Her raspy voice next to your ear made you shudder. 
"Patience, dorogoya, I don't want you to come just yet unless it's in my mouth or on my fingers."
Wholly unprepared for her words as you were, they almost single-handedly threatened to ruin the witch’s plans as you nearly came on the spot. Wanda was aware that you had likely never edged before, and while she should have shown some mercy, she found no enjoyment in that prospect. Her intention was to have you so drunk for her to the point where you would become a helpless, trembling wreck, willing to do anything she desired just to reach that peak. Then, she planned to repeatedly push you off that ledge so many times that you would be a boneless, quivering mess for her by the time she was done with you.
As her words hung in the air, you felt a mixture of anticipation and hesitation. This was a new territory for you, one that you weren't entirely sure of what you were getting into. But as you looked into Wanda's eyes, filled with desire and a touch of mischief, you couldn't deny your feelings. You wanted to experience everything she was willing to show you, to give yourself fully and trust in her to guide you through this journey of pleasure.
With a deep breath, you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper, "I trust you, Wanda."
A smug smile played on Wanda's lips as she gently held your cheek. "Good," she purred, her voice laced with satisfaction. "I promise you won't regret it. Now, let’s take this to the bed.” She didn’t want your first time together to be rutting up against a wall.
Wanda grasped your hand, leading you the remainder of the distance to your shared bed. Once there the witch assisted you in removing the remnants of your clothes, gently pushing you backwards onto the bed. Before joining you, she took a moment to admire your naked body, as you looked up at her with a combination of desire and excitement. You were uncertain of her intentions, but the fact that you were willing to trust her filled Wanda's heart with joy.
With a gaze that could only be described as ravenous, she studied you and quietly uttered a curse. "Fucking exquisite" she husked, hoping to drive home her words from earlier.
Squirming under her intense gaze, you blushed deeply at her compliment. No one had ever called you that before, not in your entire life. The longer you laid there, alone under her scrutiny, the greater your need for Wanda grew. Before you could ask her to rejoin you, she was already removing her own clothes with purpose. You waited with bated breath, as Wanda revealed her body which you swore could have been sculpted by Michelangelo himself. Honestly, you thought it was a little unfair for someone to look so perfect. You felt absolutely privileged to be in this moment with her, that she had chosen you of all people to witness her glory. No one you had ever seen, in person or even on tv could compare. Wanda was a goddess, and you wanted to worship at her altar.
The redhead knew she was an attractive woman, but your loud thoughts were giving her quite the ego boost. She had you right where she wanted you, but Wanda would be damned if she allowed your self-deprecation to continue. There was not a single doubt in her mind that you were equally deserving to be here with her.
“Your thoughts are loud, malyshka.” She almost giggled at how red your face turned when she called you out, reminding you of her powers, and your gaze dropped.
 “While I’m flattered, darling, you need to know.” Wanda said with certainty as she began crawling up the bed towards you. Once she had crawled up the length of your body, the witch trailed her fingertips along your thigh, and up your torso to your face. Curling a graceful finger under your chin, she tilted your face upwards until you made eye contact.
“You are stunning, lyubov moya. There is no one else I would want to be here with right now. Not in the entire multiverse, believe me, I’ve looked. No one but you. Can you trust me on that, Y/N?”
Green eyes searched Y/E/C for any sign of lingering insecurity. With the witch looking at you so earnestly, your doubts faded into the background. They would likely never be completely silent, but in this moment, those thoughts were just white noise. Speaking was currently too difficult for you so instead you simply nodded at her words.
No longer able to hear your uncertainty as loudly, Wanda felt you were ready to continue. “Good, but just to make sure, I’m going to show you.”
Before you could ask what she meant, Wanda kissed you again. Her hand, which was previously under your chin, caressed down your chest and cupped your breast. She gave it a gentle squeeze, causing a soft sound to escape your throat.
As Wanda's touch re-ignited the flicker of pleasure within you, her lips and tongue traced a path of heated kisses down your neck, leaving a hot trail of saliva behind. Her skilled hand continued to explore your body, evoking an oeuvre of gasps and moans. Eventually, her lips settled on one of the places you desired the most, enveloping your nipple.
Once Wanda's lips closed around your hardened bud, a jolt of pleasure shot through your body, causing you to arch your back in response. Her tongue teased and circled the sensitive bud, sending ecstasy pulsating through your veins. While Wanda continued to lavish attention on your aching nipple, her other hand trailed down your body, caressing and exploring every inch of your skin. The combination of her skilled touch and the intense pleasure coursing through your body made it difficult to think or focus on anything else. 
Her hand continued its exploration, gliding over your skin with a feather-light touch. Every brush of her fingertips, each flick of her tongue against you sent your arousal to new heights. Your senses were completely consumed by her, the world around you fading once again into a distant blur.
Completely at Wanda's mercy, you found yourself basking in her every touch and caress. The pleasure she was bestowing upon you was the best high you had ever felt, addictive and irresistible. Your mind was filled with a primal need, a craving for more of the pleasure that only she could provide.
Wanda switched breasts, moving to lavish attention on the other one ensuring it didn't feel neglected. Her hand continued to tease your flesh, raising goosebumps to form on your skin. 
Unable to sit still, your own hands came up to tangle themselves in the redhead’s hair. Head held firmly in place by you, Wanda's hand slid lower, exploring the wetness that had pooled between your thighs. Svelte fingers teased your entrance, and you gasped as the anticipation nearly undid you.  Back arched, begging for more, you whispered a “please!”
Helpless to deny your plea, Wanda's fingers dipped inside you, your slick allowing them to slide in with ease. You moaned lowly as she began to move her fingers in a slow, deliberate rhythm, curling and stroking against your most sensitive spots. The pleasure built within you, radiating through your body like an electric current.
Your hands tightened in her hair, pulling her closer to you as your hips instinctively rocked against her hand, seeking deeper pleasure. Wanda matched your movements, her pace increasing, driving you closer to the edge. Her lips found yours once again, swallowing your moans as the pleasure consumed you.
The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, the wet, almost obscene sound of her fingers moving inside you, and the symphony of your pleasure. Each stroke of her fingers sent you spiraling further into this rapturous euphoria, your body trembling with desire.
Lost in the carnality of the moment, you could feel the heat building within you, the pressure mounting until you were teetering on the edge. Sensing your imminent release, Wanda's fingers quickened their pace, driving you towards oblivion. Moans growing louder, they mingled with the sound of your ragged breaths.
“Are you gonna come for me baby?” She asked, voice dripping sweetly with lust, not letting up the pace even a little. The woman knew what she was doing to you, and couldn’t resist drawing it out just a bit. 
Beneath her, you squirmed and bucked in place, desperation eeking off you in waves. You hadn’t exactly had many partners to begin with, and you had certainly never been especially vocal with any of them. Wanda couldn't have you being all shy on her now though. She wanted to hear each and every sound she could possibly draw out of you as proof of how good she was making you feel, her fingers hitting that special spot deep inside of you that had always been just out of your own reach.
“Now dorogaya, use your words. Are you going to be a good girl and come for me? If you can’t answer me then I guess I should stop.” Wanda slowed her pace and you all but wailed your frustration.
“Yes, yes I’m going to come. I’m so close, Wands, please don’t stop!”
Truthfully that should have been enough for her but sadistically she wanted to push your boundaries further still. She smirked at your pleas. 
“I won’t stop, Y/N, but you can’t come until I give you permission.”
You didn’t think you had ever been on such a precipice of euphoria before. It was right there if only Wanda would let you. Part of you wanted to ignore what she said and let yourself go, but the part of you that yearned to be good for her won out in the end. 
You begged pitifully. “Please Wanda, please let me come! I’ll be your good girl, please, just let me come!” You would say anything the woman wanted as long as she would let you finally finish.
It was positively sinful how your submission made Wanda feel. She wanted to experience you like this every day for the rest of your lives. The tremor of your voice as you begged, how quickly and completely you accepted her commands, it was positively sublime.
“Well when you beg so prettily for me, how can I resist? Be a good girl, Y/N - come for me.” Her fingers curled deliciously, mercilessly hitting your new favorite spot. 
With Wanda’s permission, the world shattered around you as your orgasm crashed over. Your body convulsed with exquisite hedonism, every nerve ending alive with sensation. Wanda's name were the only words from your mouth as you rode the high, your orgasm careening over you in a tidal wave of pleasure.
For Wanda, feeling your wet heat tighten around her fingers, practically refusing to allow her to pull back to even help you through your peak, was so perfect. You didn’t know it, but it was enough to make Wanda topple over the edge alongside you, her head dropping to the crook of your neck while she whispered sweet nothings in your ear, struggling to bring you gently down from your high. 
As the aftershocks of your release subsided, Wanda gently withdrew her fingers, her touch lingering for a moment before she pressed a soft kiss to your lips. She held you close, her presence a comforting anchor as you came down from the heights of pleasure. You whimpered at the feeling of emptiness after being so joyously full.
Breathless and sated, you nestled into her embrace, feeling a profound sense of contentment and connection. And as you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you felt that this was just the beginning of something beautiful between you both. You had made the decision to trust Wanda with your body, heart, and soul, and in this moment, everything felt so right.
Wanting to return the favor, and make Wanda feel as good as you did, but as you tried to shift in her embrace, the former avenger simply held you tighter. Feeling rejected, you wilted in her arms. Perhaps you had already failed to live up to her expectations, so much so that she didn’t even want you to touch her. How heartbreaking to have failed so soon, to never get the chance to prove yourself.
Voice soft, Wanda alleviates your fears. “Not tonight, darling. Tonight was all about you. Rest with me for a little while, detka, I just want to hold you. May I do that, Y/N?”
Murmuring a quiet assent, you settled into the comfort Wanda provided. You both laid there, basking in the intimacy you both had just shared, feeling content and happy. It wasn’t long until your eyes began to droop, signifying you were about to nod off.
Sensing how close you were to sleep, the witch gently roused you. She giggled at your grumblings for the disruption but insisted you both needed to clean up. Shaking your head, you whined as you tried to hold her in place with you, unwilling to let her go for any reason. Wanda  had to actively restrain herself from cooing at your adorable stubbornness.
“Come on now, it’ll be just a few minutes and then we can go back to sleep, okay darling?”
Petulantly you shook your head, and Wanda full on belly laughed, holding you tightly to her while she did so. Her laughter was infectious, and you couldn’t help but chuckle as well, knowing you were being a bit ridiculous.
Eventually, both of you calmed down, and Wanda pulled away from your embrace, mentioning that she would be right back. You let her go, but you pouted the entire time she was in the bathroom. After a few moments, you could hear the sink running, and then the witch returned to you with a warm, damp washcloth in her hand. With an unprecedented level of care, Wanda cleaned between your legs, removing any trace of the night's activities, while being mindful not to overstimulate you.
“There we go, detka. All clean. Let me just throw this in the sink, and we can go to sleep.”
Doing exactly as she had said, Wanda quickly returned, swiftly maneuvering her way into the cozy bed beside you. With a few gentle movements, she skillfully arranged the soft sheets to envelop both of you, creating a warm and comfortable cocoon.
Once she was finished setting up the sheets, you wasted no time in crawling back into her arms, burying your face into the divot where her neck and shoulder met. You felt like you had been through the wringer, but in the best way. When she had gotten up to clean you both, with her no longer being in your arms, your emotions had run all over the place. Now all you wanted was to be as physically close to the redhead as possible, to reassure yourself that she wasn’t abandoning you after such a vulnerable act.
Wanda was not at all opposed. Quite thrilled in fact, and as she held you, one hand came to gingerly trace random shapes along the side of your face, whispering nonsensical words of love and solace. Pillowy lips placed a soft kiss to your forehead.
As you drifted off to sleep, feeling safer and happier than in your entire life, you heard Wanda whisper in her native tongue. You were curious, but too far gone to ask her what she meant.
“я так люблю тебя, дорогая. (I love you so much, darling.) I promise I will always keep you safe, and I will never let you go.”
A/N 2: ... Why do I have a higher word count for a chapter with smut than any other chapter? .... Reasons. We're going with "reasons". So uhhh... yay? nay? Yeet myself off a cliff? Also if anyone wants to be added to the taglist just lemme know in the comments.
Taglist: @dorabledewdroop
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jhuzen · 11 months
Note
Will there be a part 2 of the "Attention" fic?
infidelity [gn/m.reader]
the answer to that is a solid yes AND a big apology for taking a hundred years to post this. this ask has been in my inbox for freaking months. and it’s mostly because i have been remaking this fic until i got the most satisfying fic LMAO. i’m sorry for taking so long 😭 i hope this is compensation enough. btw this part 2 to this! but honestly, you don’t have to read it lmao.
𖦹 crack taken seriously, hsr mention but this is mostly genshin, this is just a fic of me making fun of cheaters aka you, highly based on that one tweet of the “welcome home, cheater” one, pushing my grand overseer reader agenda like in my early fics teehee <3, sagau, sahsr au
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“I should probably go back…”
Jing Yuan begged to differ. The general himself had his reservations about your sudden eagerness to depart. After all, you were a good company — one that amused him to the core and even kept him awake for the better part of the day. You are an interesting being to him after all — much after learning from the exuberant girl from the famed Astral Express suddenly emphasizing your importance when they left you under his supervision.
You, in much simpler words, are adorable in the Luofo general’s eyes. With eagerness and curiosity melding in those gaze of yours that could leave anyone transfixed — wanting and desperate.
You truly live up to the title as the grand overseer across worlds. You were the sole beholder of their sentience, despite the fact that right now, you’re barely aware of your status and your circumstance, it was more than enough for anyone go cherish your presence. How could they not? It was a blessing to see you descend from where you were, behind the great barrier that they all could only stare at when they looked to you for guidance.
Alas, that mattered little, not when you were beside the amused general and his coy smile, fingers raking through your hair; reminiscent of the pattern when he would do the same thing to Mimi when you visited his abode to meet the furry beauty that was his pet.
Quite frankly, you weren’t all too sure if this was something you were used to, being treated like an animal companion, with even the way Jing Yuan’s hand would suddenly roam behind your very human ears, scratching behind out of habit.
The only thing missing was him giving your food to you in a bowl, actually, and you’d be no different than Mimi at that point. Wait. No. You were sure Jing Yuan’s lion also ate out of a golden encrusted plate when you saw his hired caretakers come and feed Mimi.
“Bark for me, won’t you?” The general teased with a purr and it was more than enough for you to pull the plug at your willing compliance.
You removed his hand from your head and only shot him a subtle glare, “That’s a request I can’t honor even if my life depended on it.” You sighed, “I should get going now though, General… I made a promise to help our conductor in sweeping the floors. Apparently Caelus tracked some dirt inside when he decided to lug some trash.”
“Must you really? You’re the grand overseer, no? I believe such a title deserves a limitless freedom in doing whatever it is that they wish,” he coaxed in a suave tone, quick to win anyone over. And honestly, that sounds nice. But you’ve never seen Pom-Pom look so stressed when you saw an unwilling March and Dan Heng drag some trash either wrapped in gold bags or regular black ones inside the express when they came back from Belobog.
You somehow regretted leaving first — but even you had urgent matters to attend to at that moment.
“Ah—!” The lax Jing Yuan jolted at your sudden outburst.
“…Anything troubling you, Grand Overseer?”
“T-Teyvat! I completely forgot…!” Your eyes were blown wide as the panic settled within you. You had promised Nahida you would make it to the Interdarshan championship. She was so excited when she communed with you just days ago, completely elated that even your beloved Wanderer would participate as a representative in a Darshan.
Albeit confused by your sudden squawking, Jing Yuan understood and only watched you pace around while you lamented what sounds to be a rehearsed apology that you will no doubt tell to someone you hold precious.
“How envious, to receive an apology from you even sounds like a great honor.” Jing Yuan teased with a chuckle. “Well then, off you go now. Don’t be away for too long. I rather enjoy our time together.”
“O-Oh, yes, of course… I truly apologize for cutting our time together short. Do give my regards to Fu Xuan and Yanqing if they drop by. I have to go and talk to the crew and also bid my goodbye for now.” You bowed before turning away, briskly walking your way towards the door outside of the general’s office, only to bump into Welt and March.
“Oh! There you are! Ya ready to go shopping?” March held an exuberant energy as she asked, clasping your hand in hers tightly with an excited gleam flashing through her eyes.
Welt, however, was far more observant than March, “Judging from that look in your eyes… you have some affairs you’ve forgotten to tend to, Your Benevolence. Would I be correct in my judgment?”
“It’d be a miracle for you to be wrong at this point,” you laughed amidst your panic. “But yes, unfortunately. March, I hope you don’t mind a little bit of postponement… I have somewhere to be urgently.”
March’s bottom lip stuck out into pleading pout, “But you promised!”
“March, let’s not force them. It is as they say — an urgent affair.” Welt only looked at you with a small nod and an encouraging smile, “Don’t be too worried. I’ll let Himeko and Dan Heng know of your absence. Just be safe.”
“I will definitely come back and visit.” Your smile and reassurance was enough to quell March’s disappointment and Welt’s initial concern. “Please tell Caelus not to track more dirt inside. It’ll only serve to frustrate Pom-Pom further.”
“It’s a useless attempt, but for you, I’ll try,” March winked as she waved to you with Welt.
With a nod to the two of them, you were off to Teyvat — lucky that you have little need for the Star Rail in the first place to travel. Otherwise, it would most certainly take you the entire conceivable time just before you could even come back to one of the many worlds that you oversaw and to a fault, even took care of from afar.
You stepped into the familiar grassy fields of Sumeru’s rainforest, looking up to see that the city isn’t too far off. There was a gentle breeze that blew by, almost like a kiss from a certain archon, but you paid little heed to it. You normally always took your time to appreciate the sights in Teyvat, finding its vast lands and many biomes incredibly fantastical in sight. But even that couldn’t keep you from the fact that you’ve broken several promises that you willingly made to some residents here.
You can only imagine the disappointment in everyone’s faces once you’ve admitted to the fact that… other people may have swept your attention away in the first place — hence your sudden absence.
You owed your first apology to Nahida. She is after all, one of your far more favored archons around, treating her like your own, definitely something that would make Rukkhadevata proud among every other archon out there. And then there’s also a matter of apologizing to your dear Aether, you made another promise to him that you would spend your time with him in Sumeru’s far end by the Realm of Farakhkert to meet the infamous Sorush and the majestic race of the Pari (you once made a claim that Aranara’s are superior, and your endeared traveler was reluctant in protesting to your words it seems).
Now that you thought about it — you were sure you made quite a lot of promises to the residents of Teyvat. A lot of commitments were hammered into your special sanctuary that Aether had built for and with you inside his teapot.
Commitments that you’ve forgotten in favor of space travels with a couple of trailblazers.
Onlookers turned to your direction, completely flabbergasted at your casual appearance. What were you doing in Sumeru city (not that they were ungrateful for your gracious presence) — but it was as if you were solely taking a stroll on your own. Where are your entourage? Was the Acting Grand Sage even informed of your arrival? What about the archons that always accompanied you? Where is Buer?
Best of all, why does your face contort into an expression of what seems to be utter guilt?
You hiked your way to the Sanctuary of Surasthana, refusing any help offered to you by the guards that were courteous enough. You were prepared to face Nahida’s crestfallen look — prepared to start indulging her wishes to make up for the tomfoolery you engaged in. The corners of your mouth trembled as it itched to finally spill out the plethora of apologies that you’ve prepared.
“Oh. So you exist after all.”
Only for your well-rehearsed (by the last minute) apologies to fall apart when the Wanderer’s voice rang from above. You looked up to see him perched on one of the ledges just above the door of Nahida’s residence. He was stationed like a watchful hawk — and he was, constantly on the prowl for anyone suspicious daring to come up to the sanctuary.
Suddenly, a memory of you promising him to go fishing by the coasts of Sumeru had you wincing. And with the way the puppet’s mouth turned up in a smug smirk showed that he was aware of an engagement you swore you’d do with him.
“Ah… I hear you go by Hat guy now?” You tilted your head, giving him a reluctant smile.
“Spare me the meaningless prying. Where have you been?” His eyes narrowed, suspicious and a tad bitter at your absence and incompetence in attending a tiny little leisure that you yourself insisted he join you on. Who the hell even creates plans first and suddenly flakes out? The Wanderer has never felt more betrayed, quite frankly.
You suddenly looked like a guilty spouse that came from a messy affair, with the way you shifted your footing and how you averted your gaze quick. The Wanderer was intolerant of such a behavior however when he finally came down from his little high up spot to face you with no escape. He will summon a void and trap you in it halfway if you so much as make an attempt to escape.
“I’ve been… away…”
“Were you now?” His scrutinizing gaze only served to intimidate you further when he came up close, his nimble fingers tracing against your clothing. “Whose is this?”
And before you, he held a familiar long strand of white hair — possibly acquired when the general of Luofo decided to frolic around with you, coaxing (or coercing, more like) you to give him a much deserved head massage for his hard work (though in truth, he barely did anything that day).
“…A cat.” Technically not a lie. Jing Yuan does exhibit certain behaviors that you can classify as a behavior that a feline has.
“Is it now?” His voice went an octave higher — clearly mocking you if his churlish grin wasn’t enough of a sign about his suspicions of you and your… agendas prior to your unprompted visit in Teyvat.
A terse silence engulfed you and your Wanderer before he flicked away the hair and dragged you inside Nahida’s sanctuary.
“She was disappointed that you were absent the entire Interdarshan event thing. Where in the abyss were you?” The puppet hissed, his grip on your wrist tightening. Somehow you found it far more comforting compared to the times where people would treat you like some fragile object that could break at any second.
What’s not comforting however, were his words. You couldn’t bear the thought of letting Nahida down, and now you’re faced with that very thought becoming a reality that you now have to get through just for the sake of your sanity.
You smiled a little despite seeing the Dendro Archon’s back turned while she minded her own business. There was always something comforting when wasting your hours away inside the sanctuary. Just having to teach Nahida from your old world knowledge about people, and to an extent even teaching the Wanderer with your wisdom that rarely pops out (according to him, with full intent to insult you). It’s not as daring as the time Venti decided to fling you up and catch you or Ei’s insistence on you eating your tenth dango during your walks.
For now however, you had one goal in mind — and that is to make amends with your favored archon and puppet.
Teyvat altogether created an unspoken rule to never ever doubt you — the Grand Overseer. You have a position that transcends even farther than the Primordial One, your eyes that gaze on many universes and worlds. You are the one that took care of the blooming life in each planet that teemed with it, thriving under your guidance.
There was a collective decision among all gods and mortals alike to never doubt your endeavors, much less your love for them. You care a lot about them, and based solely on your constant descent towards their world, it seems as though above all other worlds, you favored them. They were the proof of your benevolence, granting the residents your presence while you walked among them.
Right. That was the case that everyone agreed upon.
However, there was an underlying layer of unease. Heaven forbid may it be doubt; they could never! But perhaps… a tiny bit of uncertainty in the layer of cautiousness as the residents watched you with adoration.
It first started with the wrong names.
When Albedo, Sucrose, and Timaeus wholeheartedly welcomed your help when you visited Dragonspine with Klee. Jean was far too busy with her work and while she wished to, could not have time to bask in your presence after the announcement of your sudden arrival. In turn, you only assured her and relieved her of her added duty in watching over Klee.
Klee was the one to visit big brother Albedo, to surprise him that you were finally back. And you complied. Dragonspine is an extension of Mondstadt, and you had plans to check up on every single resident of the nation.
Suffice to say, you were quickly hooked up in a chair, pulse detectors attached to your temples while you watched Klee doodle away on the floor. For a respected overseer, you certainly were a people pleaser, letting Albedo scan you out of his own volition (Sucrose was fussing the entire time, she didn’t want you to be hurt in the process, after all!).
“Look Grand Overseer! This is you and me and Dodoco!” Your vision was quickly filled with a flurry of bright colors on paper, one that was filled with an abundant amount of red and the other with the colors of your clothing.
“Ah! So it is! Good job, Hook!”
Everyone in silence soon tore themselves away from their work, looking at you with evident confusion.
Klee blinked, tilting her head as she looked just as lost and surprised as the other three researchers in the mountain, “Hook? That’s not how you say Klee…”
Your heart hammered against your ribcage and tried to save it with a cough, “D-Did I now? Ah, my bad… I meant to say was that you… did a great job! It immediately hooked me in!” It was a half-baked excuse — hell, call it a raw excuse even and everyone aside from Klee caught on as the explosive child beamed with pride, just happy that you loved her heartfelt creation.
Albedo eyed you in suspicion before returning to his work.
Then there was your misplaced reminiscence.
In your defense however, Snezhnaya does feel like Belobog. Sometimes… most definitely not because of the fact that both places are constantly subjected in a thick layer of snow.
The Tsaritsa was all but cruel to you. She loved you like any other archon out there and always basked in your presence — even keeping you for herself a week or two longer, leaving the next nation in your rotation of visitation completely restless at your tardiness. However in her gentle kindness was a terrifying beast that laid dormant.
Only then did you catch a glimpse of it on the morning that you and her spent on your appointed room in the palace, both you and the Cryo Archon siting on the balcony while you sipped on a hot beverage, enjoying the mountainous coated in freshly fallen snow.
You sat your cup down and blew on your hands. The Tsaritsa laughed at your actions, pleased that you can truly feel the love she embodied through the cold winds of her icy nation.
“Cold enough for you, Grand Overseer?” She jested with a light tone.
“…Yep…” your teeth lightly chattered. “…T-This place is a lot c-colder than Belobog, I’ll tell you that… B-But not more than Jarilo-VI as a whole…”
All of a sudden, you could feel the creeping coldness from beside you and looked to where the archon sat, her striking eyes looking at you with curiosity… with a smidge of coldness behind them.
“Pardon? Not colder than where?”
Her tone was pressed despite her sweet adoring smile. She took pride in her sovereign kingdom of cryo. It was all for you, to feel the comforting cold after you spent your last stay with Murata in Natlan. This was her giving you love, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough?
The better part of your mind decided to feign ignorance. And you lived to see another day.
And then the sudden secrecy.
By all means, of all people, Zhongli indulged in your stories the most. Whenever you visited Liyue, you were almost always found beside him if Ningguang wasn’t asking for your presence or if you weren’t getting coerced into another drinking competition with Beidou and her crew. And in this case, you were preoccupied with a little something while you accompanied Zhongli in his usual spot.
He listened earnestly to the storyteller while you busied yourself writing a little something on a parchment you had acquired from the Wangsheng parlor when you fetched Zhongli for his break.
And ever so slightly, he’d find himself glancing at your hunched over form, while you stewed in your little activity. He didn’t particularly mind the lack of conversation from you. Having you beside him was more than enough, actually. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to have him be just as engaged in your little agenda, would it?
The former archon peered at your work, only to be faced with scripts that were oddly reminiscent of Liyue’s characters. Albeit there were significant changes that made the language still all too different from his nation.
“…Might you be translating ancient texts, Grand Overseer?” He inquired and was met by a suspicious jolt from you.
It was a text Dan Heng gave you before to practice the language used in the Xianzhou fleet. Only now did you have time to do his little practices upon your descent. You had plans to check up on everyone as soon as you were done in Teyvat, and perhaps impressing Yanqing with your language prowess was a good party trick (and eventually not get bullied into eating something spicy because of your ignorance).
“Ah! N-No—! I— yes. No.”
Zhongli tilted his head and you were quick to recall your flubbed answer, shoving away the parchment into your little pocket. There was a frantic look in your eyes and Zhongli was concerned, naturally.
You used to be so willing in divulging everything to him in exchange for his stories, with the both of you managing to talk from dusk to dawn without fail with him needing little to no sleep and the time dilation that your body couldn’t seem to adjust to. You weren’t afraid to share what you were preoccupied with, and even often let him experience new things from your own world.
So why are you keeping secrets now?
But perhaps, the breaking point was your standoffish nature.
Aether has always cherished his raw connection with you and was proud to wear his closeness to your divinity, not because of infamy, but because of how incredibly special you treat him. While, certainly, you have made the people of Teyvat special on your visits, but what sets him apart from the rest is your adamant expression of affection towards him. For some reason, he was favored alone, not as a part of a collective unlike Venti and his people, or Zhongli and his. He alone was yours to indulge, even more behind closed doors in his teapot realm.
However… something was off after your abrupt visit.
Something had changed when you came home.
You were far more distracted, occupied with that tiny device you always held in your hand. Suddenly, Paimon wasn’t the loudest one in the teapot mansion with the incessant beeping that your phone made. It never did that before, it was always tucked away somewhere, sometimes even letting him place it in his inventory if there was little time to go back into the teapot.
He had always deemed your mode of communication useless. Especially on your travels. It was always so silent, like a useless artifact that you keep on you.
But suddenly it was teeming with life, buzzing endlessly that could drive any man with weak resistance into the threshold of insanity. You’d often pick it up and grant the little device a heavenly smile and proceed to be on it for hours upon hours.
It was a heartbreaking time for him.
It was heartbreaking whenever he would peer at your device, only for you to keep him in the dark as you made some lame excuse.
It was heartbreaking whenever he could no longer recognize your words when you talked about your own anecdotes, throwing name after name at him while he listened intently.
And oh was it heartbreaking when you called him by the name of someone else.
“[Name], have you seen my earring?” He took pride in his informality with you showing your comfortability and familiarity with the renowned traveler.
“Over on the table, Cae— ther… Caether… Aether.”
Not so much with that tiny slip.
Yes. Perhaps that was it. And all the preceding reasons.
Perhaps it was why you sat like a condemned criminal in the court of Focalors, as every archon looked at you with scrutiny and skepticism in their eyes. Only sweet Nahida looked at you in concern. Ah, your poor child. You’d rather her look away than experience the possible punishment you were about to receive.
“Grand Overseer, make no mistake, this is a trial born from the accumulated concerns of us all. This is a trial born… from our love.” The hydro archon’s voice bellowed through the courts. She normally wasn’t one to personally try the defendants, however you were a special circumstance.
You always were.
…Sure doesn’t feel like it…
“M-May I at least know what my charges are…?”
“Infidelity, Grand Overseer.” Ei answered for the collective. “I can only hope you are not found guilty.”
You grimaced. You’re quite glad that this was a private trial, with only the archons, retired or otherwise, gazing at you. Make no mistake however — this was an intimidating position to be in. You may be the Grand Overseer, but you’re quite sure the only thing keeping you alive is their thinly veiled fanaticism and adoration for you. Otherwise, you would have been incinerated long ago.
It might have been your luck. But it was something you would wholeheartedly thank as the moment Focalors slammed her gavel down, the horrifying screech of something you can only classify as a hideous ally pulled you out of your impending doom.
The alarm on your phone rang incessantly, a glaring reminder of your subpar and mundane reality, waking you up from a dream that you could barely remember.
You shot up, only realizing you fell asleep in front of your own computer. You looked up to see your game open, with your beloved traveler gazing down at you with a disappointed frown on his face.
You chalked it up to your awful sleep and rubbed your eyes, closing the game and migrating to the other, where your in-game phone was filled to the brim with messages.
Smothering a yawn in your hand, you can only shake your head.
“My games have been really weird lately. I should probably leave them alone for now. Maybe have fun with Elysia and the girls.” You muttered to yourself but not before powering your computer down.
Truly, your utter cluelessness is bound to drive everyone insane.
Fret not however, they will make it work. They will let you know of their sentience. They will make sure that you are aware of how much they admire you.
It’s only a matter of time until then.
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spockandawe · 8 months
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Here we go, a guestbook for my little brother's upcoming wedding! With the way bookbinding has consumed my life, my mother, unsurprisingly, turned to me and asked if I'd be willing to do the guestbook. Yes, of course! Handbound leather 3/4 binding, natch.
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But I also am very bored by empty notebooks, and I also learned that the recommended number of pages for a wedding this large was like... twenty pages. If I'm paring leather by hand, the book is not going to be twenty pages. So I thought, and went back to my mother and suggested, 'what if each signer was prompted to draw the bride and groom?' She loved it. My brother has no idea, but I'm confident he'll love it to. He has no taste, and if my babiest brother forgot to constrain his eldest sibling, it's his fault if things run off the rails. When I asked what his wedding colors are, he said 'weddings have colors?' so any problems are on his head! 🤣
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We're not a particularly artsy family, but we are a boisterous one! And it's the first marriage among his siblings and his fiancees, so things will be exuberant. And I wanted to set this up to be fun for participants and for the couple, while still generating an aesthetically pleasing book interior. I set out to find an antique woodcut-looking page frame, and ended up with a combo of editing one frame, tracing/drawing rose decorations from a different frame, and stealing some ovals from a third frame to incorporate and decorate to blend. That frame goes on the recto side of each page, with a banner for the name of the signer (and two smaller banners with the names of the couple, which i whited out). On the verso side, to add length to the book and avoid risk of bleedthrough, I traced some animal couple photos and dressed them up for a wedding. Now, i just have to make instruction cards for the guests and distribute them to the tables, which means i also get to come up with a bunch of silly demo photos, hahaha
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I'm very pleased with how it turned out! And naturally, the finishing touch, this is why I was learning the k118 style, to have this nice pretty book that still opens BEAUTIFULLY flat for writing. This was a fun project, and I'm super excited to show it to the rest of my family!
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astrolovecosmos · 6 months
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Aries deserves more recognition for their strong sense of justice and vibrance for life.
Taurus deserves more recognition for their sensitivity and intuitive side, the Moon is exalted in this sign afterall.
Gemini deserves more recognition for their amiable and unbiased nature.
Cancer deserves more recognition for their ability to keep the peace while remaining tough and tenacious.
Leo deserves more recognition for their pure exuberance, generosity, and power behind self-belief, respect, and honor.
Virgo deserves more recognition for their caring, sensitive, and thoughtful side.
Libra deserves more recognition for their deep intellect and powers of persuasion.
Scorpio deserves more recognition for their compassion, empathy, and devotion.
Sagittarius deserves more recognition for their spirited nature and warm heart, they can have an incredibly trusting, generous, and affectionate side.
Capricorn deserves more recognition for their keenness and endurance + their associations with power and power dynamics.
Aquarius deserves more recognition for their faithfulness, altruistic side, and scientific mind.
Pisces deserves more recognition for their ability to "swim against the current", they have a low-key rebellious side that can manifest, all while also having a sensitive, receptive, "go with the flow" persona.
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scarletttries · 21 days
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What One Piece Characters Are Like With A Reader With Walking Sticks...
Request: "So... I was thinking, how about headcanons of the straw hats with a S/O who has a disability with their feet and use walk sticks to move around freely but they can use their walk sticks as their weapons too! I would truly appreciate it if you could add Buggy the Clown and Dracule Mihawk in the headcanons too, thank you."
Pairings: Luffy x Reader, Zoro x Reader, Nami x Reader, Sanji x Reader, Usopp x Reader, Buggy x Reader, Dracule x Reader
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Luffy:
- Luffy sees every characteristic about a person as an unending strength and advantage and your disability would be no different. Luffy wouldn't even have to see you fight before he begged you to join his crew, being able to see just how special you are in a way unkind people tend to overlook.
- The first time he sees you use your sticks as a weapon, that might be when Luffy really falls in love, cheering and screaming at the top of his lungs as you take down the enemies pursuing the pair of you and pulling you straight in for a kiss the minute you two are alone.
- Luffy treats you with the saming loving exuberance he does his whole crew, but somehow dialled up by a thousand since you have his whole heart. His beaming smile follows you everywhere you go, and he always feels safe and at home with you by his side.
Zoro:
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- When Zoro first accepted the bounty for your capture, he had to admit he thought the price might be a little too generous. He followed you for the better part of a day, sure from the kindness you radiate that he could almost just ask you to come with him and you'd do it with a smile. And then he saw the way you easily fought off two other hunters who had come to take you in, watching the whole encounter with a smirk on his face as he realised no price would be enough for your capture.
- Instead, Zoro introduced himself to you that evening, coming clean about why he had come to find you, and hoping you would take mercy on him and let him buy you a drink anyway. Luckily he had been right about your kindness and you hooked the nearest bar stool with your crutch and dragged it close enough for the pair of you to sit knee to knee for the rest of the night.
- After a night of swapping stories and weapon handling tips, Zoro is infatuated, knowing he's found an equal partner and fellow free spirit he could explore the world with free of worries. You two are famed for taking on the most difficult bounties, never backing down from a fight, and rarely keeping your hands off each other.
Nami:
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- Nami has spent so much of her life being wildly underestimated that she recognises a dark horse when she sees one. She's trying to pull a grift in a bar inside a military base, but can't get a word in edgeways with every cadet tripping over themselves to help you; fetching you drinks, offering out their arm every time you want to change seat, trying to one up each others brave stories as you applaud their efforts. Only Nami sees your true capabilities as you take keys from their pockets as they settle beside you, or make an obvious mental note of their name to use later. As the night descends into star speckled darkness she follows you back to your boat, determined to find out your plan and not paying enough attention as she rounds a corner and trips straight over your outstretched walking stick.
- Laid out on her back as you smile down proudly at her, she can feel her stomach do a flip. She never wanted a partner in crime before tonight, but when you extend out your hand she can feel herself drawn to you and the possibilities the two of you could get into together.
- She happily accepts the hand you offer and in return gives you her unwavering loyalty, the two of you becoming the unexpected family you had both always been seeking.
Sanji:
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- Bless poor pathetic Sanji, he truly does not know how to handle himself around you. His heart is so immediately head over heels that he wants to treat you like the undeniably precious gem that you are, even when you can look after yourself far better than he's ever looked after himself.
- Deep down he knows you can handle yourself, and that he never has to worry, but dear god does he love you so much that he's going to worry anyway. He's going to offer you a piggyback whenever you have to walk more than a few steps. He's going to sprint ahead of you and pull out a chair even though he's more likely to fall over than you are. And you better believe he's going to constantly fear that you're not eating enough and he needs to feed you right now.
- Sanji is truly captivated by everything you do, and when he sees you fight, that man just drops to his knees in worship of your strength and skill. Honestly Sanji would fall to his knees and beg for your affections and company any time you asked, so completely devoted to you and your happiness, even if he's not always showing it in the most helpful way.
Usopp:
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- Usopp can hardly believe how cool you are when he sees you fighting off fellow pirates with your walking sticks. Before the battle is even over he's narrating your incredible skills and the badass way you defend yourself when your enemies underestimate you. By the time all your foes are on the ground he is bounding over to you with a beaming smile on his face and his hand stretched out to shake yours.
- Usopp has always struggled to be brave, but somehow being around you finally brings out the best in him. He finds himself more willing to lead the pack, to step up and be his own captain, wanting more than anything to make you feel proud of him.
- Usopp will never not think you're too cool for him, but he's so grateful and excited the first time you kiss him that he practically sprints off to tell Luffy the good news, leaving you stood blushing as he shouts with joy that he feels like the luckiest guy in the world.
Buggy:
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- Buggy knows how much strength it takes for someone to turn a disability into a personal advantage so you know he really truly appreciates you for exactly who you are. He likes to keep you very close, not for some outdated feeling of protection, but because he genuinely values your insights on all the decisions he faces as a captain.
- Buggy isn't afraid to put his hands on you, lifting you onto his pirate throne or pulling you suddenly into his private captain's quarters to steal a moment of your time. He's impatient when it comes to spending time with you, a hollow feeling creeping up inside of him whenever you have to be seperated.
- If you're ever feeling tired or worn out, Buggy will happily leave an arm wrapped around your waist to guide you with his intense strength, grateful for his strange gift if it means he can support you wherever you are.
Dracule:
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- It's not often anyone manages to land a hit on the world's greatest swordsman, but that's exactly what you do when he inadvertently sneaks up behind you in a winding village street. Instincts taking over you catch him off guard and sweep his leg with your stick, sending him tumbling to the ground with an absolutely awestruck look on his face. Naturally you apologise as you realise he wasn't actually sneaking up on you, but by then the damage is done and Dracule is head over heels physically and emotionally.
- He insists on apologising himself but only so he can offer to make it up to you by buying you dinner tonight, immediately overwhelmed with feelings for you and desperate not to be parted from you so soon.
- He's so easy to talk to, a life spent roaming alone rarely letting Mihawk connect with anyone like this, and when the night draws to a close he's sure he'd die happy if he never spent one more night away from you.
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