#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littledemondani · 2 years

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all mine

warnings: MINORS DNI! jealous!eddie, slight dom!eddie, possessive!eddie, unprotected sex, cheerleader!fem!reader, infidelity, reader and jason are together, creampie, dirty talk, mentions of drug use, jason is a douche, canon divergence, suggestive use of a lollipop

word count: 3.4k

a/n: this is just pure filth. i'm not even sorry. also, my requests are open! and let me know if you'd like to be tagged in my future stuff. you can read the prequel here.

“or a gaaame where you toss balls into laundry baskets!” eddie yelled, his hands cupped to his mouth to amplify the sound of his voice as he stood on top of the cafeteria table.

“you want something, freak?” your boyfriend, jason, said as he stood up from his seat next to you, glaring daggers at him.

you sighed, rolling your eyes in complete annoyance at jason’s incessant need to belittle eddie at any given chance he gets. it was a tired game he played entirely by himself, given that eddie usually didn't give in to his antagonizing bullshit. but lately, he had started to counter back, and, like he’s doing at the moment, hurling the insults without being provoked.

and you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t think it had anything to do with you.

for the past few months you had been sneaking around with eddie behind jason’s back. you knew it was wrong to go out on your boyfriend. he treated you well, bought you everything that you wanted, flaunted you in front of the entire school. he was every girl’s dream guy, the one they all fawned over. yet, you didn’t feel that way about him - not after getting to know the real jason.

the one he kept hidden, save for the moments when he bullied anyone who he didn’t think was on the same level as him. he didn’t see you as his girlfriend, he saw you as a trophy that he had won. the most popular guy in school dating the most popular girl. before you became head cheerleader he hadn’t even bothered to say more than a few words to you, but like everyone else, you had fallen under his pretty boy spell.

until eddie munson came into your life.

all you had needed was something to take the edge off. the pressure your parents put on you to be perfect - the perfect student, have perfect looks, and get into the college of their choice - had started to become too much. you knew from talks around school that eddie was a dealer, so you sought him out after school on a cold, december day.

to say you were completely surprised by him was an understatement. the big, scary, metalhead freak was actually incredibly sweet, funny, and nothing like the villain everyone made him out to be. it was even more surprising when he said he felt the exact same about you. you hadn’t thought of yourself as being intimidating or scary in the least, but you figured being jason’s girlfriend probably had a lot to do with why he thought that of you.

the two of you hit it off right away, and kept seeing each other regularly after that day. you’d hang out every thursday before hellfire, then it became every tuesday and thursday, eventually turning into whenever you had free time. being around him felt like a breath of fresh air, like you could be yourself without fear of judgment.

your feelings for him developed naturally over time and you did everything you could to fight them off. having feelings for someone else that wasn’t your boyfriend wasn’t something you did. but on the night you were alone with eddie in his trailer, sharing a joint between the two of you, his big, dark brown eyes gazing into yours intently, you couldn’t hold back anymore.

when eddie leaned in closer, his lips dangerously close to your own, you didn’t stop him. when he kissed you, as if it had been the only thing on his mind for a long time, you didn’t stop him. when he reached his hand under your shirt, you didn’t stop him. you didn’t stop him from unbuckling your belt, pulling your shirt up over your head, or from fucking you multiple times. you wanted him, more than you had wanted anyone, and were relieved that he wanted you just as badly.

“jason,” you chastised, narrowing your y/e/c eyes up at him. “just let it go, please?”

he nodded, though he didn’t look away from eddie, and kept standing with his hands balled into fists at his side.

eddie stuck his tongue out at him, bringing his hands beside his head like the devil horns on his hellfire t-shirt. you couldn’t help the small snicker that escaped past your lips, and you covered it up with a cough once you realized you had done it out loud.

“freak,” jason mumbled under his breath as he sat back down, completely unaware of anything you had just done.

eddie’s hardened gaze fell to you, softening only when he made eye contact with you. you felt your heart flutter, and the familiar warmth that spread throughout your body each time eddie was around you. to keep from completely blowing your cover, you went back to sucking on the cherry-flavored lollipop perched between your fingers, like you had been doing before eddie’s public tirade.

he soon retreated to his own seat, but not before terrorizing some poor teacher just trying to leave back to her classroom.

jason shook his head, a look of disgust on his features as he turned to his friends. “which one of you is getting the beer for tonight?” he asked, once again oblivious to the apparent scowl on your face at the mention of alcohol.

“patrick and i are going after school,” andy said. “my brother is gonna buy it for us.”

you swirl the lollipop around in your mouth as you try to tune the boys out, completely uninterested in the conversation they’re having. your thoughts immediately go to eddie, of him glaring at jason not even moments ago, and how fucking hot he looked. you imagined how he’d be like in bed if he ever fucked his frustrations out on you. maybe he’d handcuff your wrists together with the cuffs hanging on the wall next to his bed, using you however he saw fit. and you’d gladly let him.

you'd let eddie do whatever he wanted to you if it meant you got to feel his long, thick cock deep inside of you.

which is what you currently craved at that moment.

you glance over at his table hoping to grab his attention. he was talking to those kids, nancy wheeler’s little brother, and his shorter friend with the curly hair - you couldn’t remember their names. mike? justin? or what was it dustin? you watched as he picked them both up by their hellfire shirts, whispering something in their ears before slightly pushing them away towards another table.

eddie waited for the two freshmen to sit with a group of other lonely freshmen before he turned to walk back to seat, only to notice you looking in his direction.

you run your tongue over the top of the lollipop in a suggestive manner, keeping eye contact with eddie as you do so. you noticed him swallowing thickly, letting you know your spur of the moment plan was working.

you wrapped your lips around the candy, bobbing your head subtly, not wanting jason to see just what you were getting up to. he was still going on with his friends and forgot you were even there - what else is new, though?

eddie watched you intently, feeling the blood rush straight down to his cock. he was shocked that you’d do something so bold, seeing as it wasn’t like you, but the mere fact that you were, with your boyfriend sitting right next to you no less, turned him on way more than he’d like to admit.

gareth called out to him, and for a moment he broke eye contact to whip his head towards his floppy-haired friend. he made a ‘what are you doing?’ gesture at eddie. only then did he realize he was still standing in the middle of the cafeteria, on the verge of a fucking hard-on. he made his way back to the table and grabbed his stuff. he looked over at you and signaled for you to follow after him: a simple brush of his hand through his hair as he eyes you up and down.

you both came up with signals for when you couldn’t be seen together. some for regular talks, when one of you had a bad day and needed the other, or, like in this case, a quick fuck.

you wait for eddie to leave the cafeteria before standing up from your seat and glancing down at jason. “i’m gonna head out,” you said, gathering your backpack from behind the chair.

jason doesn’t hear you over the loud chatter, too occupied with his friends to even notice you’d gotten up. you scoff, shaking your head as you push the seat in, and that’s when jason pays attention.

“where are you going?” he asked, turning in his chair to look up at you.

“if you had heard me the first time, i said i was gonna go.” you didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in your voice, but knowing jason, he’d be too clueless to even sense it.

“what? why? lunch isn’t over yet,” he said, brows furrowed slightly. just like you thought, completely clueless.

“i have that exam coming up in history that i have to study for, remember,” you lied, slinging your backpack onto your shoulders. “if i don’t at least get an A- you know my mother will kill me.”

he seemed to accept that answer, giving you a soft nod, and you leaned down to press a quick, chaste kiss to his cheek before walking out of the cafeteria.

you wandered down the desolate halls of hawkins high in search of eddie. all of the classroom doors were shut with the lights off, save for one at the end of the hallway. you recognized it as the one eddie used for hellfire, and you hurried towards it before anyone could see you. you knock once, twice, and wait for eddie to open the door for you.

he quickly closes the door behind you once you step in, making sure it’s locked so no one else can enter. once the coast is clear, and the two of you are secured inside, he turns to you with a lustful glint in his dark brown eyes.

“that little show you put on back there was definitely something. sucking on your lollipop like that, for me, in front of your boyfriend,” he said, emphasizing the last word with a hint of malice in his tone.

you pick up on it right away and it catches you off guard. eddie had never shown any disdain for your relationship in the three months that you’d been sleeping with him. he’d crack jokes here and there about jason not being able to satisfy you the way he could, which wasn’t a lie at all, he never made you cum whenever you fuck him.

was eddie starting to get jealous?

you couldn’t deny the thought of it added fuel to the already raging fire of arousal burning within you.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, feigning innocence as you gaze up at him with your big, y/e/c eyes. you swirl your tongue around the lollipop for good measure, hoping to get yet another rise out of him.

it worked.

eddie hummed in appreciation, though the look on his face told an entirely different story. “you see, princess, i think you know exactly what i’m talking about.” he reached forward and pulled the lollipop from your mouth, smirking at the shocked expression on your features. he holds it up in front of you, brow raised as he waits for you to admit what you both know is the truth.

the pet name effectively kills any ounce of rebellion you had in you, rendering you completely blank. it was a main weakness of yours that eddie loved to use to his advantage, not that you were complaining.

he took your loss of words as a win, smirking slightly as he slowly made his way over to you until he was mere inches away from your face. “you did that to rile me up, didn’t you? you wanted this. want me to fuck you.”

his close proximity to you, the smell of cheap cologne mixed with the faintest scent of cigarettes, has your head spinning with lust. you couldn’t keep up the charade of innocence anymore. you just wanted him. needed him.

“yes,” you whisper, feeling a rush of heat fan across your cheeks as you meet his darkened eyes.. it never failed to amaze you how easily eddie could reduce you to practically nothing without really even trying.

“hm, who knew my girl could be so naughty,” he said thoughtfully, brushing his fingers down your cheek to your chin. he let his gaze linger on you for a moment longer, taking in your natural beauty before pressing his lips to yours. the kiss is a mix of soft, but needy. you could taste the remnants of cinnamon gum on his tongue. he broke away first, resting his forehead on top of yours. “if you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do was ask.”

in a swift movement, he pushed your backpack straps off of your shoulders and hoisted you into the air, walking you back towards the D&D table. he carefully sat you on the edge, settling in between your legs as he leaned back in to kiss you heatedly. you both roamed your hands up and down each other’s bodies, needing to feel the other as close as possible. being apart from each other for majority of the day was frustrating for the both of you, and any time you’re together, you can’t keep from touching.

his hand found it’s way to your inner thigh, squeezing lightly before pushing up the hem of your cheerleading skirt to your pelvis. his fingertips toyed with the waistband of the spankies, groaning in annoyance.

“have i ever told you how much i hate when you wear these?” he asked, tugging the offending article of clothing down your legs and tossing them somewhere behind him.

“only every time i wear them,” you giggle, hooking your fingers through one of the belt loops on his jeans and pulling him closer to you. you make quick work of undoing his belt buckle and jeans, pushing them as far down as you could. “you know i have to. unless you want the entire school to see my goods?”

“noooo thanks,” he said, helping you in removing his pants. he takes his cock in hand, pumping a few times while he pulls your panties to the side. he rubs the tip through your soaked pussy, sucking in a sharp breath as he feels just how wet you really are. “i’d rather them not.”

he pushes into you with ease, and you let out a loud, drawn out moan, your head tipping back. he stills once he’s filled you to the hilt, giving you time to adjust to his massive size.

“eddie,” you moan, rolling your hips against him in an attempt to get him to move. “we don’t have much time.”

as much as he’d love to tease you right then and there, make you squirm and beg for him to fuck you, he knew you were right.

“tell me if it’s too much,” he said, thrusting into you with a fast, rough pace.

it was never too much any time eddie was concerned. in fact, it was never enough for you. you always wanted more than what he gave you. for it to be faster, harder, rougher. you wanted to be able to feel him for days after he was through with you. and he always gave you what you wanted, but not before making sure you were one hundred percent okay.

“oh fuck…!” you cried out, face contorting into pleasure as the tip of his cock brushed against your sweet spot. “mm..fuck, you feel so good, eddie.”

“you feel so fucking good, too,” he moaned, gazing down at you as his bangs fell in front of his eyes. “best fucking pussy i’ve ever had.”

he brought his hand to your cunt, and began rubbing fast, tight circles against your aching clit. he smirked as he watched you writhe beneath him, the way you clutched at him like your life depended on it, using your ankles to push him even further inside of you. he loved knowing he was the only one who could make you this way, reveled in it even, and a part of him wished he could have you like this all to himself.

“tell me, princess,” he said, leaning forward slightly so he could angle your hips a little better. “who do you belong to?”

the words are right there on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t find the strength to say them, not when he has you right there on the brink of your release. he senses your dilemma without you needing to say anything, and he slows down the speed of his thrusts, but not the intensity.

“y-you,” you mewl, brushing his hair out of his eyes. you make sure he knows you mean it. you kiss him deeply, bringing your hand to tug on his hair. “i-i’m yours.”

“that’s right you are,” he breathes against your lips, resuming his previous fast pace. “all. fucking. mine.” he accentuated the words with his thrusts, each one significantly harder than the last.

you nodded rapidly, peppering kisses along his jaw down to his neck. you gently nipped at his sensitive spot, feeling him shiver a bit against you. you kept going, licking and sucking his skin until a soft pink mark appeared. you admired the way it looked in contrast with his light skin tone.

eddie’s cock twitched, signaling he was closer than he had anticipated.

“are you close?” he asked, cupping your face in his large hand as he gazed down at you. the metal of his rings felt cool against your heated skin, and you absentmindedly leaned into his touch.

“yes,” you moan, bringing your hand to cup his cheek as well. “are you close?”

“fuck yes i am,” he groaned, chuckling breathlessly. “you feel way too fucking good.”

his fingers found their way back to your clit, determined to make you cum before him. “let go, baby. cum for me.”

the white hot pressure building up inside of you finally burst with a few more thrusts and swipes of his fingers, and you cum with a loud cry of his name.

he held you close to him to keep you from slumping over, pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss. “cum inside of me,” you moan into the kiss, tugging on his long curls.

“are you sure? i will if that’s what y—,”

“it is,” you cut him off. “please…i just wanna feel you cum inside of me. please…”

eddie groans loud, giving one more heated kiss before pulling back. he grips your hips tightly, and chases his own release. it doesn’t take that long, and he shoots hot ropes of his cum deep within your walls.

you wrap your arm over his shoulder, holding him the same way he held you during your release. you press soft, soothing kisses to his cheek, your free hand resting behind his head.

once you've both come down from your respective highs, eddie reluctantly pulls out of you, groaning as a drop of his cum leaks from your entrance. “fuck that’s so hot,” he muses, bringing his finger to run through it before trying to push it back inside of you.

you chuckle in amusement, shaking your head lightly. “only you would think that’s hot.”

“any guy would agree that it’s pretty fucking hot to watch his cum spill out of a girl’s pussy,” he says matter of factly, though a smile tugs on the corner of his lips.

he pulls your panties back over your cunt, patting it twice to make sure they stay in place.

“dear god.” you hop off of the table, holding onto eddie’s arm for balance. he picks up your spankies off of the floor and helps put them on you, giving you a tender kiss once he’s done.

“it’s even hotter knowing you’re gonna go back to your boyfriend with my cum inside of you.”

that shouldn’t have made your cunt throb the way it did, but then again you shouldn’t be doing anything you’ve been doing the past three months.

“and it’s really hot knowing you’ll be walking around with that hickey i made you,” you said, smirking as you gesture to the now reddened mark on his neck. “good luck trying to tell everyone how you got that.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction

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storiesforallfandoms · 3 months

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one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr;8 mile

word count: 3481

request?: no

description: she’s always been viewed as just “one of the guys” despite having feelings for one of her friends, and now it’s looking likely that she’s going to lose him to the wannabe model

pairing: jimmy smith jr. x female!reader

warnings: swearing, pining

masterlist (one, two, three)

I had known Jimmy and Future since we were a bunch of snot nosed kids causing trouble on the playground in elementary school. Cheddar Bob was next, having followed us around like a lost puppy until we finally adopted him. Iz and Sol joined our little group in high school, and then we were complete.

For as long as I had known the guys, they considered me to be...well, one of the guys. Even after I went through puberty and actually started looking like a girl, I was still just one of the guys. It didn’t bother me for the most part. When you’re a kid, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a boy or a girl. We all played the same, caused trouble the same. But when we hit puberty, I found myself not liking being considered “one of the guys” anymore.

Especially when I realized I had feelings for Jimmy.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a part of the friend group and I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends. What I definitely could ask for, though, was for those friends to recognize I was a woman and treat me as such. Namely, I wished Jimmy would realize that.

One Friday evening, just like every Friday evening, I had just pulled into my driveway and was walking up to my front door when I heard another car pulling up behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Future.

“Get your ass changed, we’re going out!” he called.

“Future, I just got home,” I said.

“So?”

“So maybe I don’t want to go out with you chuckle fucks after I just worked an eight hour shift.”

“We both know that’s not the truth.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. He was right, I did want to go out. We went out every Friday night. It was a group tradition at this point. If I was seriously turning it down, there’d have to be something wrong with me.

“Give me 10 minutes,” I told Future before slipping into my house to change.

I was in and out in less time than I told him. I just changed out of my work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt, and was ready to go again. I got into the passenger seat of Future’s car and he didn’t even wait for me to buckle myself in before he was backing out of my driveway and driving off to get the others.

“I fear for my life every time I get in the car with you,” I joked as I managed to buckle my seatbelt.

“Well, lucky for you, Jimmy agreed to drive tonight. His car can hold more people anyways.”

“Who else is going with us?”

“Just the usual.”

I looked over at Future in confusion. His tone definitely made me think there was someone else coming along for the night, but it seemed he wasn’t going to tell me. I couldn’t figure out who could possibly be joining us that Future wouldn’t want to tell me about beforehand.

We pulled into the trailer park and parked next to Jimmy’s car. Jimmy was exiting his trailer before we were even out of the car, as usual. Jimmy was usually waiting for us to show up and would be itching to leave his mom’s place as soon as he could. Jimmy gave Future one of their high five hugs, and patted me on the shoulder. It was just a step up from me also getting a high five hug, but not by much.

We got into Jimmy’s car, all three of us in the front. We started for Iz and Sol first, then Cheddar Bob. Once the car was full it was nothing but noise as each of the guys was talking over one another with Jimmy’s radio blaring as extra noise.

“How was work, by the way?” Jimmy asked me over the current argument between Future and Sol.

“Same bullshit as always,” I responded.

“I guess we should be lucky you even agreed to come out with us after working all day, meanwhile all we do is sit on our asses like a bunch of bums.”

I playfully nudged his shoulder. “Hey, you work, too.”

“I wouldn’t consider the Stamping work.”

I chuckled. I noticed then that we weren’t headed for the club. “Where are we going?”

“To pick up Alex.”

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I looked over at Future. I couldn’t tell if he was actually deep in conversation with Iz or if he was just ignoring me. So this was who was joining us that he didn’t want to tell me about.

Alex.

She was a girl Jimmy had met at his work. She was a model apparently, or was trying to be one. Jimmy didn’t talk about her much, but the other guys didn’t waste a single moment in teasing him about her. It didn’t take a genius to realize he liked her.

Alex was waiting as Jimmy pulled up. She was wearing her usual mini skirt so short that you could basically see everything whenever she moved. It made me feel very self conscious about my choice in jeans.

Future opened the door and got out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked. I already knew the answer and hoped he’d see the look of begging on my face.

“I’ll get in the back with the idiots,” he said. “I’d assume Alex will be more comfortable pressed up against you instead of Sol.”

“Yo, fuck you!” Sol snapped.

I hoped my clenched jaw would go unnoticed as Alex slid into the seat next to me. Her eyes immediately went to Jimmy and they shared a smile that made me wish I could throw myself from the moving car.

We got to the club and piled into our usual table while Future got the first round of shots. Cheddar Bob and Iz were sat on one end, I was in the middle, Jimmy and Alex were sat next to me, and Sol had pulled up a chair. When Future returned, he slid in next to Cheddar Bob. The table chorused with cheers as we held up our shots then shot them back.

I tried to play it cool, but having to sit next to Alex and Jimmy while they were flirting up a storm was making me more tense by the minute. When Sol offered to get the next round of drinks, I jumped to give him the money to buy me two of the strongest drinks he could for me. I downed the first one quickly, but took my time with the second. It didn’t take long for the shot and the first drink to kick in. My head was spinning and I felt care free and light as air.

At some point, when the drinks had hit me hard enough, I shoved against Iz’s shoulder and said (or rather slurred), “Hey, can you guys move? I gotta pee.”

“Yo, go the other way,” Future said. “There’s three of us here and only two on your other side.”

“You’re gonna break the dam this early in the night?” Sol asked. “You may as well sit on the end when you come out. You’ll be back and forth for the next few hours.”

“Look, I don’t care who moves and I don’t care where I sit when I come back, I just have to pee now.”

“Here, we’ll move,” Jimmy said.

He and Alex moved out of the booth and allowed me to get out. When I stood, I realized just how drunk I already was as I almost immediately lost my balance. I felt someone grab hold of me as the rest of the table chorused in laughter at my drunkenness. When I looked up, it was Jimmy that had taken hold of me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I’m getting you water when you come back,” he said. “And you gotta pace yourself.”

“You’re always looking out for me,” I said. “You’re such a good friend.”

I put emphasis on the friend for my own benefit, but there was also some level of petty in the word. A reminder for both of us that that was the only way he saw me: as a friend. One of the guys that he went out drinking with every weekend, that he smoked with in the basement of someone’s house, that he ran around Detroit with causing mayhem since we were tykes.

I saw a look flash across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher, but I assumed I was just seeing things in my drunken haze.

I managed to make it to the bathroom on my own without incident. Once I was safely inside of a stall, I was able to sit down again. I almost didn’t want to get up and go back out to the table. Sitting was safe. The world didn’t spin when I was sat down. But I also couldn’t be sat on the toilet in a club bathroom all night either. I knew Sol was right about me going back and forth to the bathroom now that I had broken the dam, but if I put enough time between this bathroom visit and the next, maybe the spinning wouldn’t be as bad by then.

When I stepped out of the stall to wash my hands, I jumped to see that someone was waiting there.

Alex.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.

I waved away her apology. “It’s fine. I just didn’t hear anyone else come in.”

I stepped around her to wash my hands. She turned to face me as I did. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Is there anything going on between you and Jimmy?”

The question took me by surprise. Why would she think there was anything between us? In all the time that Jimmy had known Alex, I had only met her once before after the lot of us had run into her at a house party. I remembered Jimmy only having eyes for her that night, too. There was no reason I could even fathom that she would believe Jimmy and I had a thing going on when he was so clearly into her.

“No,” I said. “He’s my best friend. Has been since we were kids.”

“And that’s it? Just friendship?”

“Yeah. What’s this about?”

She sighed. “I really like Jimmy, and I thought he liked me, too. But he’s never really asked me out or anything yet. I didn’t know if maybe you two had a thing going on and I read the whole situation wrong. I’ve known far too many guys who claim to be just friends with a girl and turns out they’re actually fucking around.”

Trust me, I wish that’s what was going on here.

Against my better judgement, I put my hands on Alex’s shoulders and said, “If you really like Jimmy and you want things to be more serious, maybe you should make the first move.”

She looked as though she had never even considered that option. “You think so? That won’t seem too...direct?”

“Who gives a shit? Why do men always have to be the ones to make the first move? Most of them are fucking idiots anyways and wouldn’t know if a girl liked them even if she was telling him to his face.” Alex chuckled. “If you want him, go get him.”

She nodded. I was taken by surprise when she suddenly pulled me into a hug. I reluctantly patted her on the back and tried to put the best smile I could muster on my face.

“You’re the best,” she said. “I think we’re going to be great friends.”

I bit my tongue as she hurried out the bathroom door.

That interaction was enough to sober me up more than I wanted. I could feel myself tearing up, but tried to fight it back. I turned to lean against the sink and looked up at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help but notice everything that Alex had that I didn’t: gorgeous face, sexy voice, body of a model. I couldn’t even dream of leaving the house in a skirt as short as hers without feeling completely embarrassed and exposed. Of course Jimmy would like her, and of course he was going to say yes when she asked him to go out with her.

I hung my head as the tears slipped from my eyes and ran down my face into the sink. I prayed no one would come into the bathroom and find me here crying, and luckily someone was looking out for me because no one did. Once I felt like I had cried myself dry, I quickly splashed my face with cold water and tried to pretend everything was alright. I figured everyone was going to question where I had been for so long, but I didn’t feel like coming up with a fake answer to tell them. If I told them to fuck off, they wouldn’t pry.

My steps faltered a little when I exited the bathroom and saw that Alex and Jimmy were missing from the table. I was tempted to go right to the bar and get another drink, but I pushed through and went back to my group of friends.

“Hey, you good?” Future asked as I sat down in the booth.

“Yeah, just sobered up a little,” I responded. “Where did Jimmy and Alex go?”

“Alex asked to talk to him in private,” Cheddar Bob responded. “But that was a while ago, so who knows where they are now.”

I noticed both Future and Iz elbow him, causing him to spill some of his drink on himself. I didn’t care to imagine where Jimmy had taken Alex after she asked him out. I didn’t need to have that image burned in my mind for the rest of the night.

Everyone went back to their conversations, but I found myself not paying any attention to them. I kept glancing around the club, expecting to see Jimmy and Alex tucked away in a private corner, sucking face as if they were trying to blend into one person. Or maybe they’d be on the dance floor, practically dry humping in front of everyone. I didn’t think Jimmy was one to dance, but Alex had enough allure that she could’ve probably convinced him. But I didn’t see them, and that almost made it all worse.

Eventually I stood from the table suddenly, bringing everyone’s attention to me. “I need some air.”

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Cheddar Bob asked.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I said. I turned and quickly made for the exit.

Once I was outside, I breathed in the cool night air. It filled my lungs, but it didn’t seem to help soothe me at all.

“You alright?”

“Jesus!” I hissed as I turned towards the voice. It was Jimmy, leaning up against the club. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Free country,” he said with a shrug. “Are you good?”

“Just needed air. It felt very stuffy inside.”

I walked over to stand next to him. The rough brick wall dug into my back through my t-shirt. It was cool out, but not enough to make me feel like I needed a jacket or anything. I was standing so close to Jimmy that I could feel the heat coming from his body anyways.

“Where’s Alex?” I asked. “The guys said you two went off to talk in private.”

“She left,” he responded.

I looked at him in shock. “What? And went where?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Home, I guess?”

“Don’t you think you should’ve driven her? It’s not exactly the safest for her to be walking alone at night.”

“I offered, but she turned it down. Said she didn’t wanna see me ever again.”

I’ve definitely missed a lot of things here. “What happened?”

Jimmy sighed. “Well, she got up and went to the bathroom after you, said something about wanting to make sure you were okay where you were so drunk. Then when she came back she asked me if we could talk in private. She brought me outside and told me how she had been waiting for me to ask her out properly since we first met and she was tired of waiting, so she made the first move to ask me if I wanted to go on an official date with her.”

“And you said...”

He looked at me for a second before responding, “No. Obviously.”

Well, yeah, it was obvious that he said no. But what wasn’t obvious was why he had said no.

“I thought you were into her,” I said.

He laughed. “Who told you that?”

I shrugged. “The guys seemed convinced you were.”

“The guys don’t know shit about shit. They just like talking a big game and making fun of each other.” I just looked at him, waiting to see if there was any more he had to say. He looked at me then away again. “No, I’m not into her. She’s beautiful, yes, but I don’t see her that way.”

“Wait, so if you don’t see her like that, then why did you invite her tonight?”

“I didn’t. She was at the Stamping today and asked if she could come along. I guess this was her plan.”

Well, it wasn’t her plan until I told her to go after Jimmy, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

I felt like everything had just been flipped upside down. I was so sure that Jimmy had been reciprocating Alex’s feelings. It seemed like that anyways. Or maybe it seemed like that because I was making it seem that way. I was projecting something onto the two of them that wasn’t really there, I guess because of my jealousy?

“Sucks that she didn’t handle the rejection well,” I said.

“It wasn’t the rejection, it was the reason I rejected her.”

My brows furrowed together. “The reason being...you didn’t like her like that?”

“No. Well...yes. Kind of.”

“You know, for a man who can freestyle, you’re god awful with your words right now.”

He laughed and lightly nudged me with his shoulder. “It was the reason I said I don’t have feelings for her. I told her that I don’t like her because I like someone else and she didn’t handle that very well.”

I could feel my stomach turning to knots again. “Oh? Didn’t like the competition?”

“No, she said something along the lines of she should’ve trusted her gut, and that all guys who hang out with girls end up fucking them in the end.”

It took a second for what he said to register in my brain. When it did, I thought back to Alex talking to me in the bathroom and asking me if there was anything going on between Jimmy and I because she knew of too many guys who were friends with girls who they were actually fucking. Then, I put the pieces together in my head.

When I turned to look at Jimmy again, he was already watching me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion. “Me?!”

“Jesus, that took you long enough.”

“What do you mean that took me long enough?! Why the fuck haven’t you told me?!”

“Because you’re my best friend! We’ve known each other since kindergarten. If I told you I liked you and you didn’t like me back, that would fuck everything up between us and within the friend group. I would rather feel this way in silence than risk losing you as a friend.”

“If you had told me I would’ve told your dumbass that I like you, too, and I have since high school.”

“Wait...for real?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, for real!”

We both stood in silence. We shared a look, and then a smile broke out on Jimmy’s face. I couldn’t help but mirror it, and soon we were both laughing. With the absurdity of the situation, we couldn’t not laugh.

“We’re both dumbasses,” I said between fits of laughter.

“I guess so,” Jimmy agreed. “That brings up the question, though, of where do we go from here?”

“Well, I think we try a date, just the two of us and not those other idiots in there, and we see how things progress from there.”

He smiled. “Okay, I like that idea.”

“And we promise that if things don’t work out, we stay friends.”

“And we don’t tell the guys about any of this.”

I laughed. “Okay deal.”

#jimmy smith jr #jimmy smith jr imagine #jimmy smith jr x reader #eminem #eminem imagine #eminem x reader #marshall mathers #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #8 mile #one shot #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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nyctophiliq · 10 months

Text

✮ ┆ THE IDEAL ART INSIDE YOU. ellie w. (the last of us)

— “at one point, everyone hated themselves.”

description. everyone experiences art block once in a while, ellie just deals with it differently

content warnings. MDNI, nsfw content, female bodied reader, art student! ellie, light bondage, ellie is a little rough, light bondage, she also fucks reader with a sharpie, oh and she draws with said sharpie on reader, so basically marking?, possessive & control freak! ellie, wc 1,67k author’s notes. you read the warnings? still here? hope you enjoy, you freak >:) pls reblogs are very very much appriciated

ellie who’s fountain of inspiration seemed to never dry up whenever she looked at you, or just thought about a glimpse of you. but as every artist, ellie too hits a rock bottom every once in a while and she just suffers from her art because she hasn’t yet figured out a way to suffer through it.

“my favorite piece of art that I don’t keep fucking up.“ she groans as her left hand comes to catch your throat, fingers clasping around your neck not at all lovingly but ferociously, her other hand palming your forehead while also managing to force your eyes open with her thumb and index finger. even if you wanted to fight back, there was no use for it. one of her wet cloths, the one that is covered in paint because she wipes her face and hands with it after a session in front of her paper is now wrapped around your wrist, tying them behind your back as she forces your legs apart with her knees, spreading them apart to reveal all of that is you, eyes spitefully wandering your nude body.

oh, how she hated you in these moments, when her art seemed to be nothing just a piece of painting that a child did with its fingers, spreading condiments around its plate and you were the mom who couldn’t help but praise her child, clip that god awful ‘painting’ on the fridge and call it a ‘future picasso’. it’s a disgrace to all the incredible painters before her, the ones who have sweat blood for their art not to be called a silly thing, be frowned upon, and to be taken seriously because sometimes words just weren’t enough. you seemed so perfect, your eyes, your lips, your face, your chest, your stomach, your legs, your everything- how could she ever create art as beautiful and magnificent as you?

she couldn’t let that situation to eat her alive, to consume her from the inside out, for it to own her because in the end it was her who owned it, owned you. the aspect, all the things she had admired, and she called you her muse- she made you who you are today just like god made angels to be so perfect, she is the god who birthed you, casted you in stone and made the land worship you as it’s protector.

“you’re mine, you hear me?” she yells, her spit spurting on your face and she pushes your head further into the mattress, her fingers pushing so hard on your skull she might just claw your eyes out. “I created all that you’re, sculpted you to be so ideal.” she rambles, shifting further between your legs, prying them open with so much force your hip start to burn and little sobs ball up in your throat from the discomfort.

ellie gives you a repulsed look as your lips agape, choking on your words, writhing from the same anguishing feeling of not knowing what to do. it truly turns her stomach, your uncertainty as you lie there, your eyes bulging from fear of what is gonna happen next. but your pupils tell a different story to her, that the way parts of your body is reacting goes against each other, and where your legs meet with your hips- it’s almost impossible to overlook the heat that is radiating.

“i own all the rights to you, everything that they see is my talent sacrificed.” she follows up, letting go of your head and reaching into the back pocket of her khaki shorts, and pulls a sharpie out. there isn’t a second that passed between her pulling it out and biting the cap off before she starts scribbling away on the skin that covers the middle of your chest.

the brush of the pen tickles your nerves, jolts running up and down your spine like a horde of wildlife fleeing after a gun shot, your back arching with each stroke she makes. your skin like paper trembling under her touch, but she is too busy to notice. your eyes roll to the back of your head, closing as you relish in the sensation. the ink staining your skin, her touch softening around your neck, the pads of her fingers ghosting over it, a small smile gracing her lips as she moves from your sternum to the top of your breast.

your mouth falls open at her touch, your hips swaying slightly against her knees as she continues to work. her voice hoarse as she speaks, “this will be mine, my masterpiece,” she says, swallowing hard. “mine…” she mumbles, her voice trailing off. she works in silence for what seems like hours, the only noise being your labored breathing and a soft scratching sound from her pen. your eyelids flutter slowly, the darkness encroaching on your until all you can see are stars floating through the room. you are falling into nothing, nothingness.

she switched sides sometimes ago, but you hardly noticed until she pulls away from both your chest and neck, your eyes snapping open as her hand comes to rest on your waist. her tongue darts out to wet her lips, her body tensing slightly. “yes…” she whispers, before biting her lips, pushing her tongue against the teeth that is peaking above. your gaze follows hers until you find yourself staring right into her eyes, their irises so dark they look black.

“mine… I own this body, I own this life… this was always supposed to happen.” she laughs then, dark, and wicked, her words dripping with confidence as she runs her finger along whatever she wrote or drawn on you. “you should see… you should see but where should i-“ she cuts herself off, a puzzled look washing across her features as she tries to find the handheld mirror, simultaneously searching for a place to put the sharpie because she is gonna need it again, she just needs you to see her signature first.

she laughs as she thinks of it, deep and rumbling before she teases your folds with the handle part of the sharpie, collecting all that have been dripping from you the minute your bare skin was exposed to the cool room’s air. you let out a gasp as it slides inside you, a gasp that becomes a whine as she keeps going. you feel tears gather in your eyes as she just leaves it there, unattended and stuck in one place.

“here! see for yourself, see it! tell me what do you think?” manic, that’s how she sounds now, absolutely out of her mind as the sweat starts to glow on her face. she grips the handheld mirror, her hard grip visible as she holds it up above you, giving you the perfect look at yourself.

her signature, all over your chest. ellie williams. ellie williams. ellie williams. ellie williams.

ellie’s face contorts with frustration at your silence, “do i need to coax an answer out of you? come on, give me an answer!” she grits her teeth, her other hand coming to take a hold of the sharpie in you. she moves it back and forth, painfully slow until you manage an answer out, your voice sounding so small you almost believe you imagined it.

“I love it, I love it, I love it!” you laugh weakly when you feel her speed up at your words, her face getting redder and redder. she chuckles softly before she brings the mirror closer to you, angling it so you get a better view of your nakedness and the way your cunt practically sucks the sharpie in.

she looks at you as if you are a prize, as if the mirror has finally captured the image that she desired for so long. ‘I won’, her expression proclaims proudly, her grin wide as the room fills with the sounds of the drenched pen fucking your walls. you wince at some spots, a little more sensitive, but her gaze remains steady on yours, never breaking contact. you try to speak, to say something ,anything, but your throat feels tight, your breath short as she discards the mirror, the soft pad of her thumb rubbing circles on the fleshy parts between your thighs.

you whimper quietly, a moan building up in your throat. you could cry if you wanted to, a hot flood threatening to erupt from your body, begging to be released. you bite your lips, your legs tremble, your nails digging into the bedsheets under you as your vision goes blurry. you blink furiously, trying to refocus. she moves to your clit, circling it with her thumb as your entire body tenses. the slick wetness coats her fingertips as she gives you the few last pushes you need to end up on the other side, for the bliss of your climax whiten your vision and everything that she is.

ellie watches you, excitedly, with a fire burning in her eyes that has never burned before. she looks sick, she feels sick, but in the best way possible as you writhe against her hand, trying to get away from the sharpie that is still residing between your clamping walls. she can see the bigger picture now, the light burning on your skin and the dark in that covers your torso, the overwhelming feeling of coming undone, and her ownership over everything that had occurred. she smiles to herself, proud of her accomplishment, but also anxious to finally begin her next piece.

“just one final detail…” it came quietly, murmured from between her lips as she pulls the sharpie from your, flipping in while her free hand comes to push down on your hip bone. you don’t need to guess, you already know what she’s gonna write, it’s predictable from the expression of her face. twisted grin, with flushed cheeks that are not at all red from embarrassment but rather overcome with pure pride, joy, and glee.

ellie williams was in here.

#📗 — written by moss !#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #tlou ellie x reader #ellie williams the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #tlou ellie #tlou x reader #tlou x reader smut #tlou ellie williams x reader #tlou ellie williams x reader smut #tlou ellie x reader smut #ellie williams x you #tlou ellie williams #ellie williams x fem reader smut #ellie williams x fem reader #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams x female reader

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irisintheafterglow · 9 months

Text

The Archer (gojo x you)

summary: after your best friend becomes viewed as a monster, the only thing to do is cling to the ones that loved him too. (or, screaming who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?)

wc: 1.1k

cw/tags: hurt/comfort, angst but heartwarming ending, manga/anime spoilers, established relationship, pet names (babe, baby, sweetheart, etc), mention of vomiting but nothing descriptive, yeah did i mention angst

note: i just need to hold gojo satoru and tell him that it's going to be okay is that too much to ask for (anyways hope you enjoy the pain that my brain farted out)

likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated <3

“Su?” He freezes, rooted in place as the sun casts shadows on his unreadable expression. “Where are you going?” He sticks his hands into his pockets and turns to you with a smile so fake you need to take a step back. He'd lost a lot of weight but what terrified you the most was the calm aura that surrounded his weakened body, a contentment that was scary to see on someone in so much agony.

“Mission, just a few Curses plaguing a village of about a hundred.” Forcing normalcy into his voice was as successful as forcing a square block into a round hole and you couldn’t stop the worry from leaking onto your face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I had another dream.” His face falls, washing over into careful blankness. He was used to this, your technique and the consequences it brought. It was, however, a long time since you confronted someone directly about what you see. “You know, Future, it doesn’t show me what will happen.” He won’t meet your eyes and you hesitantly take a few more steps toward him.

“It shows me what can happen.”

His words are cautious, delicate as if saying the wrong sentence would break you like a fragile piece of pottery. “And what did you see?”

“Something that I’m begging you not to fulfill.” You swallow the lump in your throat and blink back the fear threatening to spill over from your eyes. “I’m so scared, Suguru. I’m so fucking scared.” You stumble the rest of the way forward and his arms wrap around you instinctually, holding you tightly as you continue to plead for him not to go. He pulls away to look at you and a sliver of hope pokes the back of your mind when you see the conflict in his eyes. It disappears as resolve hardens on his face.

“You’re family. Whatever I do, I will not harm you.”

“I need you to promise you won’t–”

“I can’t promise anything beyond that.” After a moment you have no choice but to nod, defeated, and he pulls away for the last time. “You have my word.”

The news hits you like a train that you saw coming ten miles away, knocking the air from your lungs and sending shards of invisible shrapnel into your body. Because of your technique, you know before everyone–Yaga, Shoko, Nanami, the higher-ups, Satoru. You feel the moment Suguru makes his decision in your own body like cruel twin telepathy and you rush into the nearest bathroom to expel everything you’d eaten that day. You feel the same sensation again when word reaches Yaga, the whispers of massacre and Curse User and traitor seeping into your ears. Nothing, however, could compare to the storm you felt when Yaga told Satoru.

You fall asleep early in the days after Suguru leaves. Not because his absence didn’t keep you up at night, but because you didn’t really know what to do except hide in dreams. Dreams that kept you in a state of blissful ignorance; you, Suguru, Satoru, and Shoko at the fair or the park or the beach, not scattered into four separate corners by indifferent Fate. Suguru’s departure felt like a severing of your soul, like your brother died rather than your best friend leaving. You avoided others like prey escaping a predator, paranoidly checking reflections in windows for people you didn’t have the energy to talk with and ducking behind corners when voices got too near. When the few missions you completed were over, you were back in bed, curled into yourself so tightly that no one could reach you.

No one, at least, except Satoru.

He calls you some nights later and you squint against the harsh light of your phone screen.

“Satoru?”

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty.” There’s a forced smirk in his voice that you see through like glass, immediately noticing the way his pained tone wavers with every uttered word. “Did I wake you from your beauty rest?”

“Mhmm,” you hum exhaustedly, groaning as you sit up in the darkness and swing your legs over the side of your bed. “Door’s open if you need it.”

“Yeah…okay.” The melodically teasing tone in his voice drops in an instant, as does its volume. You make sure there’s an unopened bottle of water ready for when he gets to your dorm. He was probably just as dehydrated from sobbing as you are. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, love?”

“Waking you.” You laugh softly, rubbing your eyes and sitting back on the edge of your bed.

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re too good at that.”

“What, knowing when you’re lying? I thought we weren’t supposed to lie to each other. Relationships 101.” He huffs as much of a chuckle as he can. “What are you really sorry about, Satoru?

His voice cracks and your heart feels like it’s been stabbed a hundred times. “I need you. Really badly.” There was no suggestive air or promiscuous tone in his voice, just unfiltered desperation not to be alone. “Can I–”

“Of course. Get over here; I miss you.”

You time the duration it takes for him to get to you, two minutes on the dot. He opens your door slowly as if to check if you’re still awake, and shuts it just as gently. You flick on your nightstand lamp and feel your stomach sink when you fully take in just how tired he looks. There’s no trace of anger or frustration on his face, only pure loss. The bags under his eyes deepen as he sighs, avoiding your eyes for the first time you can remember. He just stands there in the middle of your room, deflated and suffering. When he speaks, it’s a strangled and helpless choke.

“I couldn’t–”

“Shh, just come here.” You rise from your bed and catch him when his knees buckle, his face buried in your shoulder. He doesn’t cry or heave like you did; he just grabs whatever he can with his hands and holds you so needily his arms start to tremble. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

When you finally slide under the covers with him, he’s still clinging to you like you’d float away if he let go. “Stay.” He pleads with you even as you have him locked against your chest, gently carding your fingers through his hair. It’s soft between your fingers and reflects the little moonlight seeping through the cracks in your curtains.

“I will.” You press another kiss to his forehead as if to seal your words, but he doesn’t feel safe yet.

“Please, stay.”

“I swear on my life that I will not leave your side.” You try to lace Cursed Energy into your words, make them as unbreakable as you command them to be. Squeezing your eyes shut, you breathe him in, willing him to let himself go. To not be the honored one or the strongest sorcerer, but Satoru, to break down and grieve just as any other man would.

“I’m so sorry.” There it is, baby. Just let go.

“I know, sweetheart. Rest now, I’ve got you.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#jjk x you #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk x reader #satoru gojo #suguru geto #satoru gojo x reader #geto suguru #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk angst #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen season 2 #jjk spoilers

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moonshynecybin · 7 days

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I find Marc covered up fully underneath his leathers, upto his neck & wrists, so fascinating when we have the others in half sleeves, mesh or nothing. I can't remember if he always was that way or changed midway, if there was a particular reason? If Alex does the same? It just gives regency era eldest spinster daughter hair tied up tight covered up to the neck waiting for the highest titled rake to come show her the pleasures waiting for her.

marc would be SOOOO good at the kate sharma of it all. like bridgerton season two is in many ways rosquez 2 me. marc WOULD deny himself love and marriage if he convinced himself it would protect alex and vale WOULLD close himself off from love for fear of losing anyone he loved ever again after the untimely death of his [dont worry about it] from a bee sting. perfect set up for vale to decide to court marc's much more agreeable and younger (NOT A SPINSTERRRR) brother who because he needs someone to secure the family's future with and alex is one of the most eligible and educated bachelors on the market. and he knows he will never fall in love with him. whereas marc is known for going on crazy person horse rides (how he first meets vale) and pissing people off. and ALEX is locked in this fun codependency thing with marc, where marc sacrificed so much to get him there from spain and its the only way they can like. still live in the same household because the marquez finances are a lil shaky for regency reasons (alex it should be noted will fall for vale's ward franky SO fast and they shall have their own tortured by familial obligation repressed regency drama please trust this. it WOULD involve alex saving franky from bandits. again trust.)

so anyways vale commits to courting the idea of alex. butttt marc and vale. kind of hit it off. chemistry! goofballs ! a game of crochet that legitimately turns a little dangerous (marc is. cheating the whole time lmao. vale is ALSO cheating he is kicking balls into the bushes and. possibly. checking out marc's ass when he bends over to fetch them. victimless crime looking never hurt anyone.) truly luca meets marc and is like lovely to meet the man my brother plans to marry :) and alex vale marc are all like. um. hah. about that. EVERYONE can see and marc and vale are down fucking horrendous but are cutting themselves off from love so aggressively its UPSETTING ! vale CANNOT lose anyone he loves and marc will sacrifice EVERYTHING for alex's future so they are locked in horny tension for monthsss. it is. insanely horny close proximity sniffing. it is. dancing at balls probably more than is strictly proper. it is. marc getting pushed into a body of water and having to strip off his paper thin old-timey shirttttt. getting wayyyy too into betting on horse races like they are throwing elbows. alone in various well dressed rooms breathing the same air SO much yearning and holding back because like. they CANT do that to alex (alex. does not want that man lmao).

until finallyyyyy its alex and vale's wedding day and marc feels like hes going to THROW UPPPPPP. worlds saddest little spinster. pale sad brave face on. but he walks in and vale is just. he cant take his fucking eyes off marc. at the alter in a church in his best suit. he cant stop looking at him. and he feels like hes going to cry but he doesnt know why. and alex walks in and looks at the two of them looking like they want to DIE and it clicks. right then. that theyre in love (huge relief off of his shoulders tbh. already sexting franky via horny letter in his mindpalace) like alex KNOWS his brother and he KNOWS the only way get marc to stop doing something self destructive is for alex to tell him he doesnt have to. so he turns away from vale and he takes marc's hands. and he calls of the wedding.

BUT that doesnt resolve our central conceit on vale's end. what do you do when the scariest thing in the world is the person you love dying. and that is a belief that has been informed by person you love dying trauma. well in vale's case you simply have to realize YOU ARE ALREADY IN LOVE... TOO LATE IDIOT. having them and MAYBE losing them is better than never having them and losing them ANYWAYYY. so in this its like. the wedding falls through, alex marries franky so hes fine, and marc gets in a HORSE RIDING ACCIDENT ! and its uh. not looking good. and marc almost DIES and vale wasnt even THERE and he didnt knowwww how vale feels. he never got to be with him :( truly life is fleeting go fuck your twink :( finds out marc is going to be okay and cries for hmm. maybe the first time in ten years? and then they get married :)

#thinking about marc saying once my brother is married i will return to spain and vale being like. haha what. what do you mean by that.#like i don’t think marc would actually leave franky but if franky and alex are good to go back marc is GONEEEE #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #this is too long and i looked at it for so long. be free.#*leave alex. whatever you understand.

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rassvetsky · 1 year

Note

i was wondering if u can come up with ‘a trust issue who needs reassurance all the time’ reader and ‘i dont know how to communicate my feelings’ bucky. basically a miscommunication trope.

i will accept however storyline and ending you make because i love you and i love ur writing💕❤️❤️

hi babe!! i really really hope i did your wonderful request at least some justice because i got too carried away-- i hope you like it! thank you for existing ♡

Out Of Mind

bucky barnes x reader

"Falling in love with you terrified Bucky, enough to push you away. He was sure that it's better this way. But merely a week later, when you disappear without a trace, Bucky realized that he couldn't handle being without you."

[5.2k] | angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, arguing, bucky being an asshole at first but he has his reasons, natasha being protective, sassy tony, canon level violence, fighting, reader getting minor injuries, clint is the loml, bucky is an idiot in love my dudes, they're so cute god help me

reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.

Bucky used to be a simple man, Steve had told you long ago. After all those years of torture, he developed… Complexity.

And you couldn't agree more.

He was a tender lover to begin with, the one to always make sure that you were alright, the one to put your wellbeing above his. He wasn't good with words- wasn't the most expressive man out there, but you understood him. You understood why he never included cards in the flowers he sent to you, or sometimes didn't say anything back to your love declarations other than a bashful smile; you understood that for him, these things worked in different ways now.

And that's why he loved you so much. That's why he was terrified.

Because the deeper he fell for you, the more intense his feelings got. The harder his separation anxiety hit, the more mushed his brain became.

And in any other scenario, that would be lovely. Those butterflies that one would feel in their stomach, or the sweet little dumbification that came hand to hand with love. In another life, he'd bask in the feeling. He'd see the world around him under a different light, a light that you cast on his life.

But in this life? It was nothing but dangerous. Nothing but absolutely horrendous.

Because he was supposed to focus. He was supposed to be alert. His fight or flight response had to be on at all times and no matter what, he was supposed to prioritize his life to save the others.

He couldn't do that when you were involved, not anymore. The paranoia got too much- he was terrified of seeing you get hurt, of losing you in any way. That fear brought out the worst in him, causing fights to break out whenever you willingly got yourself in trouble, distracting him, making you drift apart further.

You didn't want that. He didn't want that. But life for you wasn't always just movie nights at the compound, breakfasts on bed, long nights of talking about the future.

He had to let the chips fall where they may.

You needed reassurance, he knew that. But suddenly, after the last mission you went on with the team including Bucky, he suddenly… Stopped doing that. That bashful grin was nowhere to be seen when you told him you loved him, when you held his hand it just didn't last as long as it usually did, he… He didn't even look at you properly. And that went on for days, each day worse than the one before, until he barely even talked to you.

And the dread you felt on your chest was unbearable.

The night-time fell quicker than any other day that one evening, as you prepared yourself a warm tea to accompany your book. Carrying the mug up to your shared room with Bucky, you slowly got under the sheets, holding the book open with one hand, mug with the other.

The plot was barely interesting to you with all the thoughts running through your mind, snatching your attention from the words, making you have to go back and reread the same paragraphs over and over. It wasn't anything new, this type of distraction, but more often than not, it was the aftermath of the latest mission plaguing your mind. Not your boyfriend being excessively restrained towards you, as if your sole existence was a problem for him.

Speaking of, maybe it was. Maybe you were too high-maintenance for him, maybe you weren't giving him enough space, maybe he was just going through something. Or maybe, he was done with you. He didn't need you anymore, now that he got rid of the vivid nightmares and dissociations-

How cruel of you to think that. How cruel of him to leave that open as a possibility.

With your tea half-drank, you set the mug back on the nightstand, pinning the bookmark between the pages before leaving it by the mug. You didn't feel like laying down- didn't think you could fall asleep with your mind on overdrive like this anyway. Getting up from where you were laid across, you slowly made your way over to the window, arms crossed on your chest as you heaved a sigh. The view was nice, moonlight illuminated enough of the surrounding trees, and if you were to squint, you could see the grass shine wetly, with a layer of dew upon them.

You couldn't help the way your shoulders tensed a bit when the door knob twisted open, hearing the heavy steps of your lover and a sigh leaving his lips. Your back was facing him still, and you didn't dare to look at him, figuring he was busy changing his clothes judging by the shuffling sound of fabric.

The slight squeak of the mattress brought a bitter grin to your lips as you spoke up. "Not even gonna talk to me?"

He was quiet for a full minute. "Sorry. I'm tired, sweetheart."

"Of me?"

"What?" he sounded surprised. "Wha- why would I be tired of you?"

"I don't know." you sighed. "You've been acting incredibly distant for the past week. Figured I was tiring you out."

Another squeak, he was on his feet now. Slowly walking towards you, he rested a hand on the small of your back, but you still didn't look at him. You wouldn't admit that to yourself but you really didn't want to know the truth.

"Don't be ridiculous," he spoke, tone quiet. "It's just that… The missions, you know how they-"

"We went through rougher missions back then," you chuckled. "On the verge of death, covered in blood. Missions that went on for months. You didn't treat me like this then."

"How am I treating you?"

"Like I'm a fucking nuisance!" you finally snapped, pushing his hand away from your body before turning towards him. Your eyes were wide with anger, chest heaving. "You're treating me like you don't even want to see me!"

"You're my girlfriend!" he was bewildered, albeit a bit guilty. "Of course I want to see you, what the fuck are you even talking about?!"

A scoff left your lips. "Fuck that! You used to treat me better when we were barely friends," you watched him look away, annoyed. "I've been trying to give you some space but you- you just won't tell me shit! You're barely talking to me, anyway! How the hell am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you won't even talk to me, Bucky?!"

Bucky felt his heart getting heavier. "Stop assuming that you did something wrong-"

"Then what else?! What else can I assume? For fuck's sake, am I supposed to assume that there's someone else, or you're just- you're just sick of me. That you don't need me anymore, is that what I'm supposed to think?" you could feel the tears building up by your waterline. "Fucking hell, it'd hurt way less if I was sure that it's all my fault! Or- even if you were- I just- just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, please?"

"Nothing!" he was loud, suddenly. The sudden outburst had you taking a step back in instinct, and he panicked so hard for a moment that he almost took a step towards you.

He knew he shouldn't.

"Nothing, okay? Just one of those weeks. Leave it alone."

"Fine." you sighed. "Fine, I'll leave it alone. I'll leave you alone, Bucky, to figure your shit out and- please, for the love of God, don't talk to me until you do. I'm done being treated like garbage." and with a final shove to his chest, you walked out of the door.

Bucky knew that he deserved that.

Hell, he deserved a solid punch for the way he was treating you but he didn't know how else to act. He didn't know what else to do. He was so sick of worrying, being in a constant state of paranoia because of you, so sick of his heart hurting like someone reached right into his chest and severed it off whenever you got hurt.

Was he protecting himself, or you?

"Hey," Sam swiftly sat by Bucky's side with a bowl of cereal on his palms, not giving the other a chance to walk away before speaking up again. "You good? You look like… Hell, I can't sugarcoat this. You look like absolute shit."

Bucky felt like absolute shit.

"I'm fine." he muttered, eyes trained on the big TV screen in front of them. The compound had been pretty quiet for the past few weeks, with the main troublemakers scattered around the globe for a mission.

Sam saw right through his bullshit, though. "Your girl ain't talking to you?"

"None of your business."

"She looks like absolute shit too."

Bucky took a moment to process that.

"Did you guys fight?"

"Again, none of your business, Sam." heaving a sigh, Bucky slowly pushed himself up to his feet, leaving Sam sitting on the couch all alone. Natasha, who was busy making herself something to eat to get through lunch, decided to chime in after Bucky managed to take a few steps away.

"You push her away the second things get hard and then wonder why she hates you."

If looks could kill, Bucky's would murder everyone in that room under three seconds. "She doesn't hate me."

"You want her to hate you."

"Bullshit."

"Because you hate yourself. Isn't that it?"

Sam's eyes were wide when he looked at Natasha. She was the one to deliver a hard kick on the shin when one needed it, tough-loving and relentless with her words- not to hurt the other, but to give them a chance to see things from a different perspective.

When Bucky didn't say anything, Natasha decided to continue. "I don't know how you're justifying this in that 'cyborg' brain but you don't have one single right to punish her. For absolutely no reason, too."

"Natasha-"

"Shut it, Sam." she shook her head. "We get it, you don't like fights. But I never took you for a coward, James, and you're not being anything else but that with the way you're refusing to fight for her."

Nobody said anything else for a solid minute, while Natasha kept glaring at Bucky. His eyes were on the ground now, the harsh nature of Natasha's words hitting him right across the chest- and it hurt. It hurt bad, because he knew that he was hurting you on purpose. "How do I make it right?"

"In my opinion? Leave her the fuck alone-"

"No, no. Natasha, calm your horses," Sam got up from where he was seated, approaching the two with a relaxed expression to calm them both down. "Just tell her how you feel, man. Be real with her. Be completely honest- if you don't love her anymore, just say so. If that's not the case, then-"

"I love her, Sam."

A soft sigh left Sam's lips. "I know. Just talk to her. She'll understand."

Bucky shook his head in a nod. The idea of talking to you was nerve-wracking, to say the least. You hadn't talked to him in a week, despite living in the same compound. Didn't even dare to step into your shared room when he was there, instead deciding to take on a vacant room for a while and get your work done in silence.

You were afraid of continuing that argument, honestly. Because you and Bucky- you two weren't the type to argue. Problems would be solved in peace at all times, with both parties admitting to their faults. So when that dynamic changed, it freaked you out. Just like how falling in love with you freaked out Bucky.

"FRIDAY," Bucky called out. "Where's Y/N?"

An automated voice answered immediately. "I'm afraid that information is classified." Bucky tensed up quicker than he'd like to admit.

"What?" Sam muttered under his breath, gaze finding Natasha's confused one. Natasha spoke up not too long afterwards. "What do you mean by classified?"

"Mr. Stark specifically requested that I keep Mrs. Y/L/N's current location confidential."

"Fucking hell," Bucky heaved a sigh. "Have any of you seen her today?"

"Nah," with a shrug, Sam walked towards the counter to set down his bowl of cereal, suddenly not interested in the food but rather, your whereabouts. "Last I saw her… Yesterday evening, yeah. She was leaving Tony's office, didn't say anything."

"Where did she go after that?"

"Man, how would I know? I'm not keepin' tabs on your girlfriend, that's your job."

"FRIDAY, where's Tony?" Natasha ignored the two, focusing on the matter at hand. For all she knew, you weren't the one to keep secrets from the team. Even on solo missions, you would always keep your tracker on just in case.

"In his office. Shall I inform Mr. Stark of your visit?"

"Nope." lips pressed into a thin line, and a not-so-apologetic shrug. Typical Tony Stark nature. "Just because you live here doesn't mean you have to know everything."

"But she's my girlfriend."

"Just because she made that mistake doesn't mean you have to know everything, Barnes." Tony quipped. "If anyone else in this room was on her position and I were to give away your location, which she specifically made sure that I wouldn't tell, I would be murdered horrendously."

"It's not like her to do that." Natasha's tone was way softer than Bucky's, understandably. She was mad at Bucky and worried about you at the same time but still, keeping her cool was an art form and she was doing it beautifully. "We're just worried, that's all."

"You don't seem like her parents to me."

"Would you tell us if we were her parents?"

"Wilson, use your head. Of course I wouldn't." plopping down on his seat with a huff, Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'd beg to differ but I'm a very virtuous and excruciatingly handsome man, and I made a promise, so… The door is right behind you. I got a lot of stuff to do."

The sound of Bucky's palm meeting the desk separating him from Tony caused everyone's eyes to find his, including Tony. "You have to give me something."

"I don't owe you anything." Tony's words were like venom as they dripped from his tongue, his challenging gaze on Bucky's rampageous one. "But if you really, really want her to hate all of you, fine. She's on a solo mission."

"A solo mission?! You sent her on a solo mission?!" Sam was quick to grab Bucky by the arm, pulling him back a little.

"Man, calm down-"

"Last time I checked, she was perfectly capable of handling a mission and taking care of herself." Tony spoke, calm despite the furious man standing in front of him. "She wanted to go. Why the hell would I say no?"

"Bucky, he's right." Natasha pushed herself up from the wall she was leaning on. Signaling for Sam to possibly take Bucky out of the office with her eyes, she approached the desk. "I'm sure she's fine and she only did that just so you wouldn't go after her."

"Yeah," Sam continued. "Let's just- let's get you out of here. She'll be back before you know it."

Tony didn't miss the glare Bucky sent his way when he left the office with Sam.

Feeling Natasha's judgmental eyes on him, he looked up at her, leaning back on his seat comfortably. "Do you need anything?"

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing, except for her location."

"No," Natasha shook her head. "It's obvious you didn't tell us everything. I'm not expecting you to, but I've known you for a long time, Tony. I can see it when you're leaving a crucial part out."

A sigh left Tony's lips.

"She's indeed on a solo mission. A mission that I know absolutely nothing about, and she disabled her own tracker."

"Are you sure nobody knows you're here?"

"God, Clint, what's with all the secrecy?" you weren't even sure your hushed whisper was heard by Clint, crowded streets of Hong Kong were noisy enough to usher a headache within you. You hadn't seen him in a while, with him retiring again, and God he retired a lot, but after receiving a message with 'emergency, don't tell anybody.' and coordinates, you rushed to his aid rather immediately.

You owed him a lot.

Following him to a small apartment building as he pushed the door open, you looked behind to see if anybody was following, before climbing up the stairs with him. "What's going on?"

"Extraction." he whispered. "Kind of a sensitive one. Tony didn't want anyone involved."

"I really think Laura should lock you up sometimes."

"So do I, kid."

Your time spent in his small hideout apartment was filled with intel and planning. It was supposed to be a very quiet mission, a sensitive one like he mentioned earlier- a swift infiltration to save a former SHIELD agent from where he was held prisoner, just so he could return to his research.

You didn't quite understand why Tony wouldn't want anyone to be involved and to save the agent, but you weren't going to ask. You trusted Clint, sometimes more than you did Tony, and if Clint told you that what he's doing was right, then you'd believe him.

The next day, with both of you suited up, his arrows ready and your secret knives hidden beneath layers of fabric all around your body; the quiet approach to the building went pretty smoothly. He kept telling you to keep your cool and to keep it quiet. This was a stealth op, and made sure to assure you that you were excellent at those.

Except, for all the stealth operations, your partner was Bucky. He was the one who knew exactly what you were going to do without needing you to tell him, he was the one who fought by your side, in so much sync with you that it felt like you two were one mind split to two bodies. You felt safer when he was by your side, calm enough to perform better.

You didn't tell Clint that. You didn't tell him that you felt way too insecure without Bucky by your side to perform well.

He was expecting your help, and you were going to deliver.

Except, things took a turn for the worse far too quickly. You got into the room in which the agent was kept, with Clint following from far behind to keep you safe; and saved the agent from his restraints. Before you could lead him out, though, you heard Clint telling you to stop taking your time because apparently, a swarm of people were coming your way, and he had to hide.

You helped the agent all the way down to the ground from the first floor, through the piping by the outer side of the wall and informed Clint of your current location, before spotting a few men running your way.

Pushing the agent away towards the woods where he could hide and protect himself, you pulled your gun out and managed to down at least two of the five men. You noticed one of them following the agent as the two attacked you; landing a harsh kick by one's neck before sliding out your knife and swinging it at the other's direction, but the distraction that they needed came quickly when through your in-ear, you heard Clint's voice again.

"Shit, abort. Get the hell out of there, get away from the building."

And a loud explosion right to your left followed.

Natasha was torn.

Tony's words kept replaying themselves on her head as she paced around the room, unable to decide between telling Bucky and keeping it to herself. She didn't know what she would be risking if she told him, but at the same time, you could get yourself in a much bigger situation and a supporting pair of eyes at solo missions were always required.

She couldn't bear the worry and uncertainty anymore.

Pushing the back door that led to the living room open with a loud thud, she found Bucky by the kitchen area, and Sam by the couch, watching the afternoon news. "I need to tell you guys something."

Bucky perked up at that, pulling himself away from his moping state to get back up on his feet, and walk towards the couch where Natasha approached. "She disabled her own tracker. Tony has no idea where she is, or what she's doing."

"Shit, how are we supposed to find her, then?" Sam slowly got up from where he was seated in worry. But before any of them could say anything else, a loud explosion sound snatched their attention and brought it to the screen.

"Earlier this morning, a lab explosion took place in a Hong Kong biochemistry lab, for reasons unknown. Public CCTV footage shows two unidentified individuals breaking into the building only ten minutes before the blast."

"Isn't that-"

"Damn it," Natasha whispered. "God fucking damn it, Barton."

No matter how fast the Quinjet was, Bucky felt like they couldn't get there quick enough. His heart was basically beating through his ribs, brain pumping adrenaline into every single bit of his veins as he watched the jet decrease altitude. The news didn't even provide the number of casualties, and the fact that he wasn't sure if you made it out of there alive or not was eating him alive.

The fact that he didn't get to make things right with you beforehand was outright torture.

The jet landed on a clearing by the woods, pretty close to the remote building in which the explosion took place. Bucky's strut seemed like it was made out of steel, as if nothing in this world could even attempt to stop him as he walked in front, Natasha and Sam following close behind. It had been at least twenty hours since the blast, and if you were dead, you'd be identified, right?

The news of your passing would be all over the world by now, right?

"I know where they might be hiding," Natasha spoke up, a bit breathless from having to catch up with Bucky's fast steps. "Clint has a hideout apartment, not too far from here."

"Fuck!" your loud cry was enough to land a grimace on Clint's face, as he let out soft shushes, trying his best to wrap your injuries up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he mumbled, taping down the bandage wrapped around your thigh before giving it a slight pat. "Just a contusion. I know it hurts but you could have it much worse."

"I know, but it still hurts, you idiot!"

"And whose fault is that? Not mine!"

Letting your head fall back on the cushion with a thud, you let out a slight groan. "How's the agent?"

"Called somebody to pick him up," he sighed, pulling himself up from the floor to sit next to your laid out figure. "I genuinely didn't know that they had explosives laid out through the building. Some sort of eradication. Must've been big, whatever they were hiding."

"Couldn't really keep it quiet, huh?"

"Unfortunately," he chuckled. "But we saved him, at least. Probably going to get an earful from Tony when he finds out… But you did a good job. Thanks for coming."

"Didn't have anything better to do," a grin made its way to your lips. "Don't even wanna go back, if I'm being honest."

A frown took over his features. "Did something happen?" and he continued, when your only response was a slight nod. "Bucky?"

"That easy to guess, huh?"

"Nothing else has an impact on you," a soft chuckle followed. "It'll be fine. You two- you shouldn't lose each other. Not over anything."

"I don't know if I can make sure of that anymore, Clint."

"Look, I'm saying this from a man's point of view," he repositioned himself on where he was seated, now completely facing you. "And I don't ever want you to think that I'm sexist or something, but, um… We're different. In a bad way- we're not… Complicated like your kind."

"My kind? Okay, now that's-"

"No, shut up, you know what I mean," he laughed. "Every single woman that I had the pleasure of meeting knew what they wanted. Maybe it was a bit rough around the edges, maybe it was just a scaffolding but there was a plan. There was an… expectation of how things are supposed to go, you know?"

A short silence followed. "And because of that scaffolding, you folks don't freak out as much as we do. And when you do, you still make sense. We don't. We freak out over the smallest inconvenience and everything goes shit because we don't know how to restructure our own plans that quickly. We take longer to adapt. Because we're a bit more primitive, does that make sense?"

You smiled at him, earnestly. "That's… vague, but it makes perfect sense. Thanks."

His hand found yours then, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about it."

That night, Clint woke up to footsteps across the apartment. He was sleeping on the armchair by the side of the bedroom, making sure that you were safe on his bed since you had to take a pill or two to manage the pain and fall asleep quicker.

Quickly getting up to his feet, he grabbed the pistol he placed on your nightstand earlier, slowly pulling the door open- only to find Natasha, with a gun in her hand, seemingly relieved to see Clint.

Clint brought his finger up to his lips, signaling the room as to let her know that you were asleep. "What are you doing here?" he whispered.

"That was a sloppy op, don't you think?" Natasha whispered back, teasing. "Gotta warn you, Barnes will be here in a couple of minutes and he's going to be mad, Clint."

"Let him be," he sighed. "She's-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the front door got pushed open, revealing a worried and seething Bucky and an apologetic Sam following suit, shutting the door slowly after the other. "Where is she?"

"She's in the bedroom-" Clint stepped in front of the door, shutting and guarding it. "She's exhausted. Be quiet."

"Why the fuck is she with you?"

"Hey, not like I kidnapped her, alright?" Clint rolled his eyes, still speaking as quietly as he could. "I needed her help and I couldn't call anybody else. I'm sorry I kept your girlfriend away from you for literally two days, Barnes."

Bucky took a step back, heaving a deep sigh. He was angry, angry at you, angry at Clint, angry at himself… Yet he didn't know where to direct that anger. He didn't know how to calm this feeling down. "Why didn't she tell anybody? Not even Tony- what the hell did you make her do that she felt like she needed to hide from everyone?"

A scoff left Natasha. "Bucky, stop making assumptions."

"No- you know what?" Bucky was getting louder by the second, and nobody in the room had the guts to shush him down. "My girl doesn't hide anything from me, ever. I need to know what was so important that she had to turn her tracker off and you had to lead her into a building full of explosives."

"How the hell was I supposed to know that the lab would explode?!"

"You were supposed to make sure that it's-"

"Bucky?" your frowning, sleepy figure appeared by the door that everyone was too busy watching the argument to notice opening. Bucky's gaze visibly softened when he saw you, tense shoulders relaxing before Clint stepped out of the way and with a few steps, he approached you to pull you into his embrace.

You didn't hug him back at first- instead sending a confused look to the rest, to which Sam shrugged as a response. "Are you okay?"

"No, are you okay?" he asked, pulling away to get a good look at your figure. A few cuts and the bandage by your thigh was visible as you were just wearing one of Clint's old shirts and underwear. "Are you okay?" he asked again, tone more stern this time.

"I'm fine," you pushed his hands off of you. "Why the fuck were you yelling at Clint?"

"Yeah, alright, have that conversation without us," Clint sighed, pushing the two of you into the bedroom gently before offering you a small wave and shutting the door, to give you some privacy.

Bucky sighed before looking at you again, wanting so bad to just cup your cheeks and leave kisses all over your face- but he knew he fucked up, and you were mad. "I was worried about you. You left without a word, and when I heard that your tracker was off-"

"I don't owe anyone any explanation." your tone was harsh. "And I'm sorry if I thought that you wouldn't give a shit, Bucky. You made it pretty obvious that you wanted me to leave you alone."

"I never said that," he ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to stay calm and work this out- but you were almost as stubborn as him, if not more. "I never- I care about you, alright? You're my girlfriend, and you should've told me where you were going."

You shook your head to both sides in disbelief. "You're not entitled to that."

"Y/N-"

"No, you're seriously not entitled to knowing anything about me. Not when you have the audacity to treat me like I'm nothing more than an absolute stranger, and then to not even make an effort to talk to me for a whole week."

"I freaked out, alright?!" he sighed. "I was fucking terrified because- because of you!"

"How the hell is that my fault?!"

"It's your fault! You're the one who made me fall in love with you!" he was loud, and you got cryptically quiet.

He never dropped the L-word before.

"It's your fucking fault because I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop worrying about you, I can't stop making everything about you and it's putting everyone in danger!" you were biting back a smile now, as he kept ranting. "Including you! I can't- do you have any idea how hard it is to look at you and not just burst into tears because oh my fucking God, you're the love of my life and-"

You cut him off with a kiss to his lips, your hands cupping his face. He was shocked at first, unable to comprehend the sudden switch from arguing to kissing, but he wasn't going to complain. Wrapping his arms around your body delicately, he deepened the kiss, exhaling softly against your mouth when your fingers massaged the nape of his neck.

"You're such a fucking idiot," you whispered against his lips. "You're like, the dumbest person I've ever met. Your IQ is so low that-"

"Okay, okay. I get it." he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I genuinely am. I'm sorry for making you feel like I don't love you- because I do, I love you so much that it's physically painful."

"I thought you were tougher than that, Bucky."

"I'm just a coward, honey." with a shrug, he pulled you closer to his embrace. "I'm just a fucking coward, nothing more. But you know what? Seeing you so angry at me, telling me that I don't deserve to know anything about you- that hurt more. I guess I- I really can't be without you."

"I can't be without you either," you sighed. "I've been so cranky, just ask Clint."

"Oh, I'm still kicking his ass."

"No, Buck," a soft giggle left your lips. "He actually plays a grand part in me forgiving you. And he's one of my favorite people in this whole world, so, I won't hesitate to punch you if you ever yell at him again."

"In that case, I'm thanking him. And kicking his ass in my head."

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kopivie · 6 months

Text

as a continuation of this post.

you squeeze your eyes tight and wait for the worst to happen. you can only imagine what sort of pain you were about to be subjected to. your stomach churns as your mind conjures up the sickening sounds of bones crushing and teeth gnashing; of flesh being ripped from the bone and blood being splattered like paint upon a canvas. you wait, and you wait as the gardemek gets closer. you can practically taste the putrid steam that pours from its nostrils. you wait and you wait...

...but death never comes. or at least, not in the way you expect it to.

"at ease."

his voice is gruff, like he's speaking through his teeth. you've never heard him like this before. on any other occasion he's calm, cool, and collected; he normally sounds like he has everything under his control. but right now, after hearing him sound like he's holding himself back, you wonder what expression he's wearing.

you're paralyzed with fear. your entire body is taut and wound tight, almost as though rigor mortis has already set in. but you're not dead, you have to tell yourself. you're not dead. you repeat that phrase over and over like a mantra in your head even as the presence of the three-headed gardemek diminishes. you're not dead. you're not dead, not dead, not dead not dead not--

"you're okay."

your eyes may still be closed, but you know he is here. he is right in front of you. you can feel it. you can feel him. his hands are ghosting over your frame -- your hair, your neck, your shoulders, your cheeks. you can smell him, rich and heady -- intoxicating. hell, you can practically taste him with how close he seems to be.

he calls your name. his voice is still rough, but it is becoming softer as he speaks. perhaps he doesn't want to scare you any more than he already has. "look at me," he begs. he pleads. would he grovel if you asked him to? "please, look at me. open your eyes, my love. you're safe. it's been taken care of."

your neck feels stiff as you shake your head.

you feel his hands finally come to rest on your cheeks. his hands are calloused and cold, yet also warm and grounding. his touch sends a shiver down your spine. your joints creak as you bring your hands up to cover his own.

"that's it," he breathes. "i'm right here. breathe with me. i'm here. nothing will hurt you while i'm here."

your breathing is shallow, but he, wriothesley, is patient. he is always patient when it comes to you. four beats pass, then six, then ten. your breathing is stable and he is still here, grounding you to this plane of existence. finally, finally, you open your eyes.

and there he is. pale grey eyes stare back into your own. maliciously, your mind wanders to the sky above the overworld. you wonder if today is sunny. perhaps the sky is overcast. if it is, you wonder if the clouds are the same color as his eyes.

you used to seek refuge in nature whenever times got tough. but since you won't be returning home for the forseeable future, you let your mind run free. you start to sink as you return his gaze. lower, lower, and lower still. the closest you will ever get to seeing the overworld again is by staring into his overcast eyes. you hope and pray to whatever god exists that you'll get a glimpse of some cumulus cloud reflected through his irises. but when reality inevitably hits you, when the adrenaline starts to bleed from your pores and your body starts to deflate, you realize that the only thing that's reflected in his eyes is you.

he does not dream of the overworld. he does not dream of freedom like you do. he does not wish for a life outside of these walls. he wants for naught but you.

you feel bile sour your tongue. some savior he is. your words of thanks become rotten and disgusting. you swallow it all back and tear your eyes away from him. "i want to lay down." your voice is hoarse. "take me to my room." belatedly, you add a, "please."

he regards you closely. he analyzes you, scans you like the very gardemek that you nearly lost your life to mere moments ago. in times like these, you wonder just how much difference exists between him and the very mechanical beasts he commands.

his hands leave your face and he sighs. you recognize that sigh. defeat. he won't get any gentle treatment from you today either. but you know he won't think much of it. he never does. he will try again tomorrow.

hopefully, you think as you march to your room, he does something about that monster.

#[ 💭 — thoughts. ]#wriothesley x reader #hades!wriothesley x reader #good heavens #its eepy time #im so sleepy honk shoo mimimi

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for trying to block evade?

This happened several years ago, so I'll put the ages that we were at the time.

I [17F at the time], had an extremely close friend [17F] of 3+ years, and I still haven't found any kind of friendship that came close to the level of trust / openness that was there. So some of this backstory ranges from 14yrs to 17yrs.

My home was abusive, and she and her mom helped me figure out what was rational vs irrational, normal vs not normal, and pointing out local resources to get help - which was absolutely amazing and I could not thank them enough.

She invited me to her house pretty regularly, a couple times a week. We'd have hours of skype calls. She got me roped into Undertale & the fandom. Well, not that we really interacted with the fandom at large. We only publically posted some of the art and barely got noticed haha. Between the two of us, we had something like 26 AUs and had a lot of rp with multiverse shenanigans - like over 1200+ pages of google docs rp, because that's where we did like 90% of it. After we hit like 100-200 pages, we'd make a new doc so it wouldn't take so long to load. And we had like, at least like 9 docs I think. I was mostly in it for her, because it was really fun to just make up stories together. I could've done it with any fandom she threw at me, undertale is just the one that was popular at the time.

At one point, I think when we were around 16, I asked her if she wanted to start dating. She said something along the lines of maybe in the future, but not right now - she wanted to focus on school. Even though she declined at the time, she did say she appreciated me asking and that it meant a lot to her. And there were 0 hard feelings about the answer, we just kept on going the way we were going.

She got hit with a really bad level of depression, and stopped coming to school. After 2-3 days, I started calling her every day around lunch time just to check in on her and see how she was doing. See if there was anything I could do to help - bring some snacks, catch her up on classwork for the couple classes we shared, stuff like that. This was for couple months. More than just a mental health day, and the only reason she gave was Depression.

After a week or two of the daily calls, there was probably an aspect of toxic positivity on my end. Like "You gotta Do Something to avoid being trapped in your misery, even if it's just baby steps like sitting outside on the porch or going on a walk down the block" Not maliciously, but more out of not knowing how to handle a situation like this & genuinely wanting to help her because of all the help she's offered me in the past & fueled a little bit by fear because Depresssion is the excuse that my abusive parents used to justify their shitty behavior & neglect. Not because I was afraid of what she'd do to me, but more what she'd do to herself. That's one of the only things I could think where I went wrong, which I completely acknowledge and understand now.

She was still inviting me to her house, and we were still doing our normal thing there. Drawing and writing stories together.

After 4-5 weeks [? estimate, time is an illusion] of her not showing up to school, I can't remember if I asked if it was helpful or if she suggested that I stop calling every day. Calling every day was making her feel worse.

I did end up calling the next day or two at lunch - crossing the boundary was not my intent. We had planned to hang out on the weekend again, lunch is just when I remembered & had time to call to ask if she still wanted to hang out or if she wanted some space. I think she said yes to hanging out, didn't mention anything about crossing the boundary. Same with the next day - there was something I needed to ask clarification on, it wasn't a check in, nothing was mentioned of the boundary. I can't remember what it was now. This is another one of the places where I think I went wrong, which I acknowledge & understand.

I did stop the check ins like requested though. After those two off days, I did stop calling her every day at lunch.

She finished out the school year having shown up to class maybe 3ish times, I think.

Again, we were still hanging out regularly. There was no indication that I was doing anything wrong, there was no indication that anything I was doing was wrong. She was still the one inviting me to hang out at least half the time.

There were some problems that I was noticing that I just wanted to have a casual chat about and figure out, but she kept pushing it off as a "I don't have the energy right now, we can talk about it later" and we'd go back to the fun things. I don't really remember what those problems were.

In the summer, I went to a different state to visit my older sister that I hadn't seen in years. I talked to her about it, I was excited for it. We were still chatting regularly during my trip over skype or discord.

And then, during my trip that I was so excited about, she drops this bombshell. She sends me several massive messages detailing out a bullet point list of everything I've done wrong, that she's explicitly breaking off the friendship, and blocks me. 95% of things on that list either flat weren't true, or gross misunderstandings of what happened.

It was genuinely horrible things too.

For example, one of the things on the list was "Suicide baiting" or "Suicide guilt tripping" or something along those lines, which had happened several months if not a year before this. -I've only ever communicated feeling acutely suicidal to her 1 time. -Long before that, she made me promise that if I ever felt suicidal that I was supposed to immediately talk to her about it, for her own peace of mind so she wouldn't worry about me. -I reached a point of feeling acutely suicidal due to abuse at home & general existential dread, that happened to be during a time we had an issue.

I purposefully waited until after the issue was resolved, like 2 weeks, before telling her. I did that specifically so it would not be taken as a guilt trip or a form of coercion while still holding as true as I could to my promise. She made me promise to tell her, it was something very important to her. I made very clear to say "this is something I experienced a couple weeks ago due to unrelated things, it is resolved now, I got help through xyz means and genuinely feel better. You made me promise to tell you so I am telling you, I didn't want to say anything while we were having a problem for xyz reason." I just wanted to talk, and clear up the misunderstandings. I wanted to have a good conversation about figuring out where the communication went wrong, try and figure out how she came to these conclusions, and how that differs from my point of view. Do something to work it out, and just talk about it, and try and salvage this 3+ year friendship.

After I realized I was blocked, I was going through so so many emotions all at once. The whiplash of going from 5 to 100, Upset that I wasn't given any sort of chance to explain, the 5 stages of grief, being thrown away like the gum off your shoe, worrying about her and if this was the stage of isolation for depression, holding out the hope that we could still just talk and work things out, angry that she kept pushing off and refusing to have any sort of serious talk before this, doubting if anything she had said on 'normal vs not normal' - particularly communication styles, thoughts that maybe she was abusive and manipulative all along, maybe I was continuing the cycle of abuse, trauma flashbacks, anxieties that I had since squashed as 'irrational', fear that this was a sign that she was about to fucking kill herself and maybe the whole list was a lie so I wouldn't try and reach out and stop her, doubting my own reality and maybe the entire list she sent me was true and she was justified in her actions.

Simultaneously trying to process intense feelings and realities if it was true and I'm really secretly a horrible monster, if it wasn't true and she was about to die, and old traumas getting dug out of the grave.

God I was such an emotional wreck and did not know how to process or understand anything that was happening.

This is where the AITA comes in -

I was pushing through back to back panic attacks trying to contact her and figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to die, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to be discarded and thrown away like a piece of trash, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to have 0 chance of learning & growing as a person even if this friendship wasn't salvageable due to my monstrous nature, if that's what was happening.

So I block evaded like fckn crazy. Gmail, pet game sites, discord, skype, deviantart, whatever online platform that we shared that had messaging enabled. I called her phone several times. On the 3-4th call, her mom picked up and told me that none of the above was true. That she wasn't about to die, that I wasn't being thrown away like trash, and that I wasn't a monster. She didn't agree with her daughters actions and thought it unfair to me, but ultimately it was my friend's choice. All simultaneously which just did not compute.

If the list she sent me was true, I was a shitty horrible person. If it wasn't, and she isn't about to die, then not be able to just have a calm sit-down conversation at some point about it and clear it up - if I wasn't worth even attempting to make that effort then I was being thrown away like trash. I kept trying for days afterwards to talk to her - just, anything at all. Nothing got through, she never responded to anything.

And... that was that.

I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. I didn't have a chance to clear up misunderstandings, or understand what I did actually wrong and where, or any sort of closure.

Sometimes if I'm remembering it and feeling paranoid, I'll check and see if she's alive by looking at her online profiles for any activity. Like, maybe once a year tops now. According to the petgame sites, she's still alive at least. I'm assuming she got new social media. Literally it's just a "is she alive, do I have to worry about causing her suicide" check, I don't stalk or look into anything further than that.

Anyway, AITA for how extensively & desperately I was block evading?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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marycorcaroli · 8 months

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yandere!zoro x inventor!reader.

req: hiii 🙈 maybe you can do yandere zoro x inventor! reader hcs. the reader is basically the inventor of the crew, she can make stink bombs, explosives, and overall, just great gadgets. the reader can't fight with swords or do hand to hand combat but uses her inventions to help her out, zoro kind of becomes protective of her. this is so long whew!!

mary♡: thanks for the request 🌷, i hope you enjoy it, i tried really hard💗 ! iapologize for my mistakes, english is not my first language 🤧

zoro loves you infinitely much, you are the perfect girl for him, but he is just a traumatized asshole who is afraid to make the first move and show his love, but there is one problem, zoro won't let someone hurt you verbally or physically, he would go crazy.

you were beautiful in everything, you could do everything he couldn't and teach him to be better. i think zoro could spend hours watching you do something useful to protect the team, your graceful hands going through what seems like such heavy and hard elements, but you still look beautiful. you can't even imagine how proud zoro was of you when you unveiled your new bomb or explosive that could defeat anything and everything. zoro would never say out loud how wonderful you are, his ego wouldn't let him, but if someone else did, i'm afraid that person would be dead in seconds.

zoro knew you couldn't defend yourself with your hands and was always afraid that you would be found by other pirates who wanted to avenge themselves and you wouldn't be able to beat them, it breaks zoro into tiny little pieces, he thinks about it every night or even every night he thinks about you and how he wants to have you all to himself.

zoro is very possessive, he won't let you go anywhere. you want to go with luffy to help him? nah, how about you stay here and just be quiet with zoro? simple, he's very scared for you and himself too. zoro can't see his future without you, he'll be a literal monster if he loses you, his brain will stop functioning properly and he won't be able to see anything but the blood of the people who took you from him.

it was his biggest mistake, to try to hurt you, to make you cry and leave you bruised in a horrible shade of purple. god, everyone knew zoro was crazy when he saw the pirate next to you, trying to hit you and take the key to the cabin where all your inventions were.

zoro ran towards you, imagining the most horrible ways to kill this fearless pirate who was trying to touch you. zoro was at your side in seconds and threw the man away from you to the farthest corner of the ship, odd that he didn't die from that.

"are you okay? did he hurt you? where did he touch you? " zoro said all this out of breath, he was short of breath from the anger he was feeling, his eyes were running all over your body and face, he was trying to make sure you were okay, but the bruise on your face said otherwise, zoro's eyes were even more aggressive than they had been in a couple seconds, he was literally on fire, his hands were tense and veins were showing on his forehead from how hard he was squeezing you and he didn't want to let go but he had to.

"zoro, it's okay, it doesn't hurt, don't worry about me, h-he wanted to steal all the things i've been doing for so long, but-he didn't have time, i-i wanted to fight back but nothing would come out, i'm sorry, please."

zoro didn't hear your voice, he was terrified of what he wanted to do to that pirate and then keep you all to himself.

zoro will start with something small, just beating him until he hears him begging for forgiveness, but he doesn't care anymore. he hurt you and made you feel fear, which means zoro will do the same thing to him, only a few thousand times worse, he will make the man feel the fear he never felt.

at the end when you ask zoro to stop, he will, but stop for a couple seconds to do something else.

"no one can touch y/n and survive after that, no one. " zoro said it with the coldest look, "you tried to take her from me, but it didn't work and it never will. my face is the last thing you'll see before you go burn in hell."

zoro's words left you shocked, he had never said those words before, you had no idea how he really felt about you, but now it all fell into place.

you are his treasure, his air, his life, you are his completely, not from that moment but from the moment you first met you have always been only his. today, zoro made it obvious to everyone here. you don't have to worry anymore, no one will dare to hurt you or just come near you, zoro won't let them. he will kill them all and spill all that blood for you, he will do anything to keep you with him. and if you think he is too aggressive and you don't want to be with him, he will make you.

#one piece #one piece live action #one piece x reader #one piece x you #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #roronoa zoro x reader #yandere!zoro #yandere boy #nonnie's req <3 #nonnie <3 #mary ♡#mackenyu

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hurtmyfavsthanks · 3 months

Text

Febuwhump Day 2: Solitary Confinement

Content warning: implied self harm and finger gore (not shown, but implied to happen in the future), manipulative Whumper

It had started out easy enough.

“Cut a lock of your hair for me, any size will do, then throw the scissors out of your reach,” Whumper had ordered. And it was barely an order at that. There was no command behind their tone, none of the threat or menace Whumpee had expected when they’d walked in. They were almost polite. They almost seemed innocent, as if they weren’t the one holding Whumpee captive.

It was bizarre, and that itself should’ve been terrifying. But the apartment toothlessness had given Whumpee a surge of confidence they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

“I don’t-…N-no. I won’t…” their refusal was just as weak as Whumper’s command. Hesitant and flinching, waiting for the moment Whumper dropped the facade of politeness and lashed out. They clutched the scissors they’d been given, dull and harmless as they seemed, like a weapon.

The consequences they expected never came. Whumper didn’t hit them or lash out, didn’t so much as glare. Whumper only frowned, soft and disappointed, and nodded. “I perfectly understand. Take your time; I can wait until you’re ready.”

And then Whumper had left. And they didn’t come back.

Whumpee had been relieved at first. Anything was better than the looming presence of their captor, and silence simply meant they weren’t being hurt. They’d be safer alone. Why would they want to see Whumper?

They spent several days alone in their cell. Searching for a way out, praying someone would find them. They’d hoped that they could use the socors to their advantage, to pry the cain on their leg off, then somehow break the hinges of the door. But the scissors only clinked uselessly against the metal, too dull to do anything.

After days of solitude, Whumpe had nothing to show for it. They only had a dark, empty room and themselves.

Whumper still did not return. Food simply…appeared, slipped through a slot in the cell’s door while they were asleep. It was always the same meal; a loaf of bread and a single bottle of water. They’d never managed to catch Whumper doing it.

They were only able to remain terrified for so long. Without stimulation, boredom quickly eroded away at fear, pulling their attention away from a desperate need to escape to a desperate need for something to do. But there was nothing to do but wait, each second an eternity.

It was boredom, not threats or torture, that ultimately broke Whumpee’s defiance. Nearly a week into their captivity, Whumpee submitted to Whumper’s demands. Feelings of fear and relief rushed through their mind as they snipped a lock of hair, the scissors trembling in their grip.

Less than ten minutes later, the door opened. Whumper did not return to them with self satisfied smugness, nor anger at the extent of Whumpee’s resistance. Whumper simply smiled. An innocent, kind smile that almost made Whumpee forget why they’d been dreading seeing them again.

Whumper brought food. Actuall food, warm and filling like Whumpee hadn’t enjoyed since they’d been taken. Whumper served it with a smile, handing Whumpee a bowl nearly overflowing with thick broth, meat, and vegetables.

Whumper sat on the floor across from Whumpee, eating their food with polite, small mouthfuls. Whumpee could only resist temptation for a moment before doing the same.

The first bite was so delicious Whumpee nearly cried.

The pair didn’t sit in silence for long. Whumper spoke to them, pleasant, inane chatter that soundly nearly heavenly after days of silence. Whumpee found themselves clinging to every word. Not because they cared about the topic, not because they trusted Whumper. But because it was something different. It was something to do.

When the food was gone, Whumper began collecting their bowls, tucking them away in the now empty pot. They were preparing to leave, and that fact made Whumpee’s stomach drop out from underneath them.

Whumper handed them something before leaving. A dog collar.

“When you wish to see me again, click this around your neck.”

And then Whumpee turned without another word. Leaving Whumpee in the darkness, alone.

“Wait!” the words burst out of Whumpee before they could think. Whumper turned, already halfway through the door.

The collar burned in Whumpee’s hands. They hesitated.

Whumper frowned, shaking their head sadly. “Whenever you’re ready to see me again, you can. Remember that obedience brings reward. I’ll be waiting.”

And then they left. And they didn’t return until four days later when Whumpee clicked the collar shut around their throat.

It became a cycle after that. Whumper would make a demand, Whumpee would refuse, and then they’d both wait until solitude broke Whumpee’s resolve.

Whumper never threatened them. They only frowned when Whumpee refused, so sad and disappointed that Whumpee nearly felt guilt each time. But they were never forced to obey. It was only the fear of nothingness that convinced them to. It was only the offer of human company, a kind voice after weeks of silence, that compelled Whumpee to obey.

Soon, obedience felt like a small price to pay.

“Call me master.”

Six days. Whumper’s smile when they returned lit something warm in Whumpee’s chest.

“Remove all of your clothing and throw it out of your reach. Yes, all of it.”

Eight days. When Whumpee gave in, the replacement clothing Whumper offered was even warmer than what they’d thrown aside.

“Here, take this pill.”

Twelve hours. Whumper had brought them a blanket, warm and big enough for two. They snuggled together as Whumpee laid boneless in Whumper’s embrace, mind pleasantly numb. They never felt more content in their life.

Nearly twelve days ago, Whumper had given them another demand.

“Pick a finger of your choice, any will do,” Whumper had ordered, that kind smile still on their face as they handed Whumpee a butcher's knife.“And cut it off.”

Of course they’d refused. Of course they did, and they had every right to. It was an insane request. Utterly unthinkable. And yet Whumper’s frown still sent a jolt of guilt and terror through them.

They were shut into the darkness again. Each second felt like agony, knowing that relief was simply an action away. And the longer they sat, the heavier the knife felt in their hand.

They could feel themselves considering it, feel reason buckling under the threat of silence. For the briefest of moments, they considered tossing the knife out of reach, removing the temptation. But they couldn’t.

Whumpee turned the blade in their shaking hands, and they considered which finger they’d be willing to lose.

#whumpee #whumper #intimate whumper #manipulative whumper #conditioned whumpee #captivity whump #febuwhump #febuwhump day 2 #My stuff #whump #whumplr #febuwhump 2024

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harley-sunday · 1 year

Text

Feels Like Home [03]

Summary: When an unexpected three-week break between Monza and Singapore finds Daniel back on his farm in Perth he’s desperate to use this time to clear his mind, figure out his future in Formula One, and find his way back. He didn’t expect a new neighbour, a sassy two-year old, and three alpacas would make him realise that sometimes, what you’re looking for is right in front of you.

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x reader (unnamed OFC)

Warnings: Language

Word count: 4.6k

AN: Daniel in this chapter is just... Oof. I hope you like it, if you could take some time to leave a comment that would mean so much :) ♥

Masterlist

“Alright, Boss,” Daniel jokes with a wide grin, “tell me what to do.” It’s his first official day as her farmhand and even though she told him yesterday what she expects from him he might have been too busy looking at her to really hear anything she said.

“Well,” she draws out, looking from him to the alpacas and back, “it’s Sunday, so it’s time for their weekly bath, maybe you could-”

“I’m sorry, what?” Daniel eyes the girls suspiciously, not sure how he feels about bathing three killing machines who could take him out in a second. Try explaining that to Blake, he thinks to himself with a wry smile.

“Well yeah, I mean, they’re outside all week long, so I usually take them down to the river on Sundays and give them a nice wash.” She nods towards her truck, “There’s a bottle of shampoo and a brush in my truck.”

Ok. He’s got this. This is nothing compared to driving a race car at three hundred k’s per hour, right? It’s just three alpacas, and they’ve probably been bathed lots of times before, and if she can do it he surely can. Right? Daniel swallows hard, mentally preparing himself for the task at hand by taking a deep breath, trying not to show fear because he’s convinced the girls will pick up on that and- Ok. One at a time. He'll start with Blanche, she's definitely the least threatening, then Babs, and Betsy last.

“I usually take all three of them at the same time,” she says then. “They get a little antsy when they’re separated.”

Oh. Ok. He risks another glance at the girls who are huddled together in the corner of the paddock, eating some grass and probably having a better time than he is right now. But. One alpaca or three alpacas, same difference, right? So why does his voice come out all high and squeaky when he tells her, “Yeah, nah, no worries.”

Next to him he can hear her let out a laugh and he’s about to tell her that this might not be the best idea but then her hand is on his arm and she looks up at him with a mischievous smile, “I was just messing with you, Daniel.”

“Oh, thank God,” he breathes before he composes himself. Or tries to, anyway, “I mean, I was going to do it but-”

“Yeah, nah, I could totally see that,” she jokes, her hand squeezing his arm as she winks at him. “Why don’t you fill up their feeder inside and I’ll get started on cleaning out the shed?”

“That I can do,” Daniel agrees easily enough. He takes the bucket of grains out of her truck and starts making his way over to the shed. As soon as he opens the gate he can see the alpacas hurrying over to him and so he makes a quick dash to the shed to avoid being trampled to death by a herd of angry alpacas. Or at least, three very hungry ones. Still they catch up with him and he lets out an embarrassing yelp when Blanche head buts him in the back, “Jeepers, Blanche!”

“She likes you,” she says from where she’s leaning on her pitch fork.

“I like you too,” Daniel tells the white alpaca in a soft voice, trying not to spook her, “but I’m gonna need you to keep your distance, ma’am.”

***

When you hit the call button you take a deep breath, trying to settle the nerves in your stomach that have formed a nice little knot there ever since Granddad suggested asking Daniel to help you out and gave you his number, and bite your lip while you wait for the call to go through.

He answers with a hesitant, “Hello?”

“Hi Daniel, it’s-”

“Well, hello neighbour,” he says then and you swear you can feel his megawatt smile beaming at you through the phone. “Everything alright? Is this you calling me to tell me what an excellent job I did today?”

“Uhm, no-” You can’t help but laugh, “But sure. Thank you for today, Daniel. You did an excellent job.”

“Thank you, that sounded very genuine and not at all prompted,” he laughs.

You nod, even though he can’t see you. “I uh-” you clear your throat, trying to get rid of your pinched voice, “I wanted to ask if you maybe could do me a favour tomorrow?”

“Hmm,” he hums in reply and you think you can hear him sit down somewhere, “that depends.”

“On?”

“On what the favour is. I’ve got no problem feeding the girls but if you’re going to tell me that because it’s Monday it’s time for Oscar’s his weekly bath I might-”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, “No.” A little cheeky then, “That’s not until next Friday anyway.” He chuckles and you can feel your nerves settle down a little, “I do have to take Granddad into town tomorrow though. The doctor wants to see him for a follow-up and so I was wondering if you maybe could watch Ellie for an hour or two? Mrs Mackenzie was supposed to watch her but she’s not feeling too well, so- Normally I would take Ellie with me but it’s right around her nap time and she gets a little grumpy when she doesn’t get enough sleep so I’d rather-”

“You want me to hang out with Miss Ellie?”

“Well, she’d be asleep for most of it,” you try to reassure him because he sounds a little- hesitant, maybe. “Really it’s just babysitting her for two hours tops but if you don’t-”

“I’d love to,” he interrupts you quickly. “What time do you need me to come over?”

“We have to leave at one-”

“I’ll be there.”

You can’t help the smile that grows ever wider, “Thank you so much, Dan. I really appre-”

“Stop it,” he counters, no doubt with a grin. “I’m happy to help out.”

You have to bite your tongue to keep from thanking him again and so instead you simply say, “Perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Yep. Catch you later, neighbour.”

***

“Thanks for another great workout, Mikey, it’s been swell,” Daniel says once they’re done with their Monday morning session. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Michael eyes him suspiciously, “You’re awfully chipper today-”

“What?” Daniel chuckles and shrugs, “Am I not allowed to enjoy working out?”

“You are,” Michael draws out, “it’s just that usually you don’t.”

“It was a good workout, mate,” Daniel says as he claps Michael’s back. Of course he knows exactly what brought on his good mood, because he’s been looking forward to babysitting Ellie all day, but he doesn’t necessarily need Michael to know that.

“Sure,”

“What?” Daniel says again. “Don’t doubt yourself, Mikey. Your workouts are great!”

“I’m not sure what’s going on here,” Michael says, circling his finger in front of Daniel’s chest, “but keep up with the flattery, mate. It’s better than your usual complaining.”

“Awesome.” Daniel risks a quick glance at his watch then and sees it’s already a quarter past twelve and he still needs to shower and- “It’s been swell, mate. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yep,” Michael agrees bluntly. He narrows his eyes at Daniel then, “Do I need Blake to schedule a drug test or something?” He lowers his voice, “Are you involved in illegal activities, Dan? I mean, I’m not against the use of CBD oil but I don’t think smoking weed is-”

“Out!” Daniel pushes his friend towards the door with a shake of his head even though he can’t help the smile that tugs on the corners of his mouth, “Don’t be a nosy Nellie, mate. It doesn’t suit you.”

Michael gives him the finger but then heads to his car and so Daniel turns on his heels and heads for the shower, and if he’s already picked out the outfit he’s going to wear, so what? It’s efficient.

He’s out of the house twenty minutes later and when he pulls up in front of Oscar’s house there’s still ten minutes to spare. Daniel knocks and then lets himself in like he always does, finding his neighbour in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of tea, “Hiya Oscar.”

“Hi Danny,” Oscar replies, his face lighting up with a smile.

“How you doing, mate?”

“Not too bad,” Oscar agrees easily enough. As always he’s a man of little words and doesn’t really elaborate. Instead he nods to the ceiling, “She’s just putting Ellie to bed, shouldn’t take long.”

“Oh, that’s ok,” Daniel says as he sits down in one of the kitchen chairs after helping himself to a cup of coffee.

“Listen, Dan,” Oscar starts and for some reason Daniel knows whatever comes next is important, “they’ve been through a lot, both of them. It wasn’t easy when Ellie’s dad-” Oscar shakes his head, “That’s not really my story to tell but I need you to understand that she doesn’t trust people easily, so for her to ask you to watch Ellie, the one person who means more to her than anyone, well-” he locks eyes with Daniel, “It’s a big ask from her and a big responsibility for you. Don’t muck about, son. Ok? Not just now, with babysitting Ellie, but with her as well. I might not be as quick as I was before but I won’t hesitate to hunt you down if you ever hurt her.”

“Understood,” Daniel says with a nod because he does. He could tell she was hesitant to accept his help when he first offered it and even more so when she called him yesterday and so he wants to do anything but hurt the trust she’s put in him.

“Good,” Oscar says, taking another sip of his tea.

When he hears her coming down the stairs he leans in a little closer to Oscar and tells him, “I’m not gonna let her down, promise.”

“That’s a big promise to make, Danny,” Oscar counters with his eyebrows raised.

“I know,” Daniel gives him a big smile, “but I intend to keep it.”

It’s then she walks into the kitchen, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Daniel beams back at her, a little taken aback by how different she looks out of her normal work clothes because even though she’s wearing jeans and a simple black top she looks absolutely gorgeous. He clears his throat and tries not to stare when he asks, “Ellie’s asleep?”

“Yep,” she nods. “Out like a light. I doubt she’ll wake up before we get back but just in case there’s a bottle of milk in the fridge that you just need to heat up and if she wants she can have a banana.”

“Gotcha.”

“You have my number so call me if there’s anything, ok?” She waits until he nods before she casually adds, “She likes you so I don’t think she’ll mind you being there but if she does throw a little tantrum-”

“I’ll call,” Daniel adds, trying to reassure her that he’s got this while still basking in the fact that Ellie likes him.

She turns towards Oscar then, “Ready to go?”

Daniel helps Oscar to her car and promises once again to call if there’s anything before he heads back inside and settles on the couch with his phone, making good use of his time by catching up on some emails.

Ellie wakes up somewhere around two-thirty and Daniel’s on his feet at her first cry, a little nervous when he walks up the stairs to where Oscar told him her room is. The little girl is sitting in her cot, looking at him with big eyes and so he lowers his voice, trying to let her know it’s ok when he says, “Hi Miss Ellie. How you going?”

Ellie looks up at him, her little eyebrows knitted together as she studies him for a moment, but then she must recognise him because she holds out her hands to him, “Danny.”

“That’s right,” Daniel says as he picks her up and kisses her cheek. “How you going, sleepyhead?”

She leans back a little in his arms, looking over his shoulder, “Momma?”

“Momma’s taking Granddad to see the doctor, sweetheart,” Daniel explains as he gently wipes her hair out of her face. “She’ll be back soon.”

Ellie seems to think about it for a second but then seems content with his answer and lets her head rest against his shoulder, “Milk?”

Daniel laughs, “Yep. Let’s go get you some milk, huh?” He pokes her side then, “And maybe a banana?”

Ellie’s head shoots up, her eyes wide, whispering a quiet, “‘Nana?”

“Banana,” Daniel confirms quietly as he turns around. He makes his way down the stairs carefully before he walks to the kitchen and sits her down in her high chair.

Ellie’s quietly singing to herself as he waits for the microwave to heat up her bottle and at first he can’t make out what she’s going on about but then the microwave beeps and it’s quiet in the kitchen again and he hears her loud and clear, “Danny, banana. Danny, banana. Danny, banana.”

Daniel presses a kiss to the top of her head as he puts her bottle down in front of her, “You’re the coolest kid ever, Miss Ellie." When she smiles up at him he grins back at her, "Don’t tell my niece and nephew I said that, ok? Our little secret.”

***

It’s close to three when you pull up to the house and part of you wants to rush inside, to check up on Ellie, and Daniel, but you know you can’t just leave Granddad behind. Instead you turn to him, “I’ll go ask Daniel to come help, ok?”

Your granddad grunts something in reply and you can’t help but smile because you know it’s nothing personal, know it’s just because he hates not being able to do something as simple as getting out of a car on his own and if anything you admire the way he still cares about his independence.

You hear him continue his rant as you step out of the car but don't really pay it any mind, music coming from the house drawing your attention instead. When you walk past Homer, who's curled up on the old couch on the front porch, he looks at you as if to say he doesn't know what's going on either. You pat his head and tell him, "Good boy," before you let yourself in and head for the kitchen.

The loud music means they haven't heard you come in and so you allow yourself a moment to take it all in - Daniel with the sleeves of his t-shirt pushed up, excitedly showing off his tattoos to Ellie, pointing at them and explaining to her what they are. Ellie seems absolutely enthralled by all the pictures etched into his skin, her little fingers now tracing the lines of a cupid on his arm. You feel something settle inside of your chest as you watch your daughter and Daniel together, both of them so at ease, and it's something you haven’t felt in a long time. Before you have time to explore it some more your daughter spots you and so you push yourself off from where you were leaning against the doorframe and walk over to where Ellie’s sitting in her high chair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “Hi bub. You having fun?"

Daniel nods, "She's been like this ever since she woke up half an hour ago," just as Ellie points at Daniel’s tattoo, “Cupid!”

“Yeah, that’s a cupid,” you agree with a smile, trying your hardest not to stare at Daniel's tan arms but failing miserably and so you clear your throat to distract yourself.

If Daniel notices anything he's kind enough not to mention it and instead puts his sweater back on. Once that's over his head he looks at you with a grin, "What you do to the old man? Leave him behind at the nursing home?"

You laugh and shake your head, "He's in the car. Would you mind helping him out?"

"On it," Daniel says with a click of his tongue, pointing a pair of finger guns at the two of you before he pulls a face and turns around.

Both you and Ellie watch in silence as he walks out of the kitchen, Ellie letting out a quiet, "Danny," when he turns the corner and you letting out a heavy sigh at the same time. When Ellie looks up at you, you smile back at her, drawing out a "Yeah."

Ellie, bless her, claps her hands in response and then blows a raspberry at you.

You comb your fingers through her hair absentmindedly, "Same, bub-" Another sigh then, "Same."

Daniel and Granddad make it inside not much later, but it’s only Daniel who returns to the kitchen, running a hand through his hair as he says, “He asked me to put him in the living room.”

“He’s a little grumpy,” you whisper with a wink. “Hasn’t had his afternoon nap yet so-” you see-saw your hand and let the rest of that sentence hang in the air unspoken.

“Gotcha,” Daniel says with a grin, looking a bit unsure of himself. He shakes his head then and points at the window, “I don’t know about you two but maybe we could go for a walk? It’s nice enough outside and I don’t mind stretching my legs for a bit.”

You look down at Ellie, “You wanna go for a walk, bub?”

Ellie’s eyes light up and she whispers a happy, “Yeah,” before she looks at Daniel, “Come with?”

“Yep,” Daniel nods. “I’m definitely coming with, my friend.”

“I’ll just go get her changed real quick,” you tell Daniel as you pick Ellie up from her seat. “Shouldn’t take long.”

“I’ll wait outside for you,” Daniel offers with a grin. “Wouldn’t want to disturb the old man during his nap.”

When you come down a little later, Ellie in a pair of pale green dungarees and a fleece made from Alpaca wool, you find Daniel sitting next to Homer on the porch swing, albeit with some distance between them. You can’t help but tease, “Cautious of the dog too, Ricciardo?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies with a nod, rubbing his hands on the fabric of his jeans. “Although I trust him more than I do the alpacas.”

You click your tongue, “Better not let the girls hear that.” Ellie starts wriggling in your arms and so you put her down, watching as she wobbles over to the apple orchard, where Granddad put up a swing for you in one of the trees when you were Ellie’s age. You look at Daniel and shrug, “Guess we’re going that way.”

Ellie’s surprisingly quick on her little legs and already waiting for you at the swing by the time you catch up with her. Daniel doesn’t hesitate and picks her up so he can put her into the seat, gently pushing her once she’s in, drawing excited giggles from her, his own smile growing wider with every push.

You and Daniel talk about the farm mostly, how it was back when you were a kid and how much has changed since your grandmother passed away a few years ago. When he asks if you could ever see yourself moving here full time, you hesitate, “I’m not sure.” You shrug then, “I think I could manage what little livestock we have now but I’m not sure if I could be the best mum to Ellie if I have the farm to worry about.”

“Hmm,” he agrees quietly, encouraging you to go on.

“It’s a lot of work,” you explain. “I mean, if it wasn't just me maybe it’d be different but-”

“Can I-” Daniel stops himself but when you nod, because you know what he’s going to ask, he clears his throat and continues, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but where’s Ellie’s dad?”

“Dunno.” You smile to let him know it’s ok, “We were together for six or seven months before I found out he was married, so I broke it off and told him I never wanted to see him again. Two months later I found out I was pregnant.”

“Does he-”

“He knows about Ellie, but he already has a wife and kids so-” You look at Ellie, “He signed away his rights when she was born and asked not to bother him anymore.”

“Wow,” Daniel shakes his head. “What an a-” He looks at Ellie and corrects himself just in time, “What a despicable human being.”

You shrug, “It’s fine. For me it’s better this way but-” you swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump that has started to form in your throat, “I worry about the day Ellie’s going to ask about him, you know? Can you imagine? ‘Oh yeah, funny you should ask, kid, but your dad doesn’t want anything to do with you.’” You scoff, “I hate that he’s put me in that position but on the other hand, if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have her so-”

“If it’s any consolation,” Daniel says with a hesitant smile, “she’s a carbon copy of you, both the way she looks and her personality. People will always know she’s your kid.”

“That’s very kind, thank you,” you tell him with a warm smile.

Ellie decides then she’s had enough of the swing and holds up her arms, “Out.”

You can’t help but laugh and nod at your daughter, “You heard her, Daniel. She wants out.”

Daniel laughs and picks up Ellie, lifting her onto his shoulders before he turns to you, “Why don’t you show me your favourite place on the farm?”

“My favourite place,” you echo slowly, trying to choose between the little creek over in the Burned Oak paddock or- Looking at your daughter then, who is giggling with glee from being so high up, the choice is easy, “Ok. Let’s go.” You lead Daniel through the orchard to a field that at first glance doesn’t look like anything special but you know in a few months time will look completely different.

When you reach the gate you look at him from over your shoulder, “This is it.”

“Ok,” he draws out, probably not sure if you’re joking or not.

“You’ll have to come back in December,” you tell him, without thinking much of it, without fully realising you actually want him to come back, want to have him in your life for more than just the two weeks you’re promised now, “the entire place will be covered in poppies. It’s beautiful.” You poke Ellie’s side then, “It’s why her second name is Poppy.”

“Because you love the flowers so much?” Daniel guesses.

“That and because she was born on December third, when they are in full bloom.” You take your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans and pull up your picture gallery, scrolling back to a picture of Ellie’s second birthday, where you took a few pictures of her surrounded by thousands of red poppies. You angle your phone to Daniel, “See?”

“Oh wow.”

“Right?” You smile at Ellie, “A very pretty girl in the middle of some very pretty flowers.”

Ellie yawns in response and when you look at the time on your phone you’re surprised to see it’s already close to five. You look at Daniel, “We should probably head back. Don’t want the wrath of Granddad unleashed on us because of dinner being late.”

Daniel laughs, “Yeah, nah, we could do without.”

***

It’s been less than a week since Daniel offered to help out on the farm, but already you’ve settled into an easy rhythm. You still do your chores around the house in the morning, make lunch, put Ellie down for her nap, and spend some time outside until your granddad calls, have a coffee break, head back outside again together with Ellie for an hour or so until it’s five o’clock and it’s time to make dinner. Or, well, warm up dinner. The meals Daniel brought you only require a few minutes in the microwave and save you so much time.

Daniel usually shows up around five-thirty, entertaining Ellie long enough for you and Granddad to finish your dinner in relative peace before you take Ellie upstairs to get her ready for the night while Daniel and your Granddad drink a cuppa and gossip about the neighbours and whatever footie game was on that day. By now Granddad is a lot more independent around the house, but getting him ready both in the mornings and at night is still something you need to help him with. He seems a bit happier though and in the end that’s all that matters.

Once Ellie is asleep, you and Daniel head outside, taking your Granddad’s ute out to Eagle’s nest to tend to the alpacas. More often than not, Homer jumps into the back of the truck once you set off, having taken a special liking to the alpacas ever since they arrived on the farm a few years ago.

It’s where you find yourself today, an unusually warm Wednesday evening, with Homer dozing off next to the fence while you and Daniel clean out the shed so you can put in fresh hay later. The warmer weather means both you and Daniel have ditched your jackets, Daniel even going as far as taking his sweater off and working in only a t-shirt and so you keep finding yourself stealing glances at his arms and the way his tattoos stand out against his skin.

Of course Daniel catches you looking, “Like what you see?”

Is he flirting with you? If he is, it’s working because you feel the heat rise to your cheeks but try to shrug it off, “I’ve seen better.”

“Hmm,” he teases and throws you a wink. “Let me know if it’s too distracting, babe. I’ll put my sweater back on.”

Babe? Oh God. He really is flirting with you. Fine. Two can play that game, you decide as you lean on your pitchfork, “Are you flexing right now?” You laugh when he seems confused and tease him some more, “Oh my God, you are. You are actually flexing your muscles.”

“Am not,” he shoots back, throwing his spade aside and taking on one of those ridiculous bodybuilder poses, one leg bent as he turns his torso towards you and pumps the muscles in his arms, “Now I am.” He goes through a whole array of poses and ends up with his back towards you, flexing his butt cheeks.

You hate the giggle that escapes you and so you try to play it cool and applaud his efforts instead, holding up an invisible sign, “Ten out of ten, Danny. You have impressed the judges.”

“Judges-” he echoes, “or judge?”

Biting your bottom lip you scrunch your nose, “It takes a lot more than that to impress this judge-” then, because why not, “-babe.”

“Oooh,” Daniel draws out and puts his hand to his chest, pretending to be hurt by your comment, “way to kick me down, boss. Jeepers.”

“You wanna impress me?” You nod towards the last of the dirty hay, “Clean that out for me and then we’ll talk.”

“Or,” Daniel starts, taking a step closer to you and making you look up at him, “I could take you out to dinner on Friday.”

You nod, your throat a little dry from how close he’s standing, “Or you could do that.”

#Daniel Ricciardo #F1 Fanfic #Daniel Ricciardo x reader #F1 imagine #DR3 #Harley Sunday x Daniel Ricciardo #Feels Like Home

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luveline · 2 years

Note

Is it too late for shy reader requests?? I would love shy!reader being very nervous to ask sirius to move in together, so she’s off all day and he can tell something’s up so he tries to guess until she finally tells him. 🙈 love you jade! Hope you’re well!

anon u r a star I love you ty for ur request ♡ shy!fem!reader | 1.1k words

Sirius lives with his friend Remus. You like Remus a lot – he's quiet as you are, and though he usually has his nose in a book he always says hello when you come around. He's probably the reason Sirius has as much patience as he does for your shy nature.

But Sirius lives with someone, which means he can't really ask you to move in; you don't live with anyone, which means it's up to you to ask.

It's a very big ask. Do you want to spend time with me almost every hour of the day for the foreseeable future? Are you ready to take this next step?

Do you want to be with me… permanently?

You're terrified of the answer.

Not that it's Sirius' fault. Even now he can tell that something is worrying you and has persuaded your head into his lap. His long fingers stroke back your hair and tease your hairline, a soft tickling that has your worries slipping away so slowly you nearly forget what it is you're trying to ask him. He's looking down at you, a silence between you filled with what feels like nothing but fondness from his end, dark eyes creased with an empathetic concern.

"I love you," he says quietly, eyebrows furrowing. "You know that?"

You swallow down the lump in your throat. "Yeah," you say, voice thick with something you can't name.

"Did something happen at work?"

You turn your face into his stomach. "No."

"Is it your family?"

"No, s'nothing like that."

He strokes your cheek and encourages your face back with his thumb just enough to see your eye. "It's something. You can tell me."

You hate to worry him like this. It's not fair on him. So, despite your fear that he'll say no, that you're not what he wants, and that this is too much too quickly, you try to force yourself to ask him. In the back of your head the way he'd said 'I love you' plays on a loop. A dark, deep velvet sound, entirely honest.

"I have something to ask you."

He grows still. You sit up to look at him properly which seems to fill him with the same kind of worry you're feeling yourself, his lips pursed, his hands grasping nothing where they lie in his now empty lap.

"Hit me with it, sweet thing."

You offer your hand. An amused little smile plays on his face as he takes it and pulls it toward his chest, second hand curling around your wrist.

"It's kind of a big question," you say, looking at his cheek rather than his eyes.

"I love big questions."

"It's… would you…" You want to ask him. You don't know why it feels so hard, your mouth dry as sand and every word like tar.

"Would I…?" He leans back against the sofa cushions slowly. "Would I be your date for Emma's wedding?" he guesses, raising his eyebrows.

You shake your head. "I mean, yes, I do want you to-"

"Of course I will. Not even a question," he says, as if he's scolding himself. "Let's think… Do you want something?"

"Yes," you confess.

He grins. "You want something. A kiss?"

"No-"

"Something more?" His grins gets impossibly bigger.

You flush with heat. "No-"

"Please?" he asks, then laughs. "No, I didn't think so, but I thought I'd try my luck anyhow."

"I do want to," you rush to reassure him.

"Oh, you do?" He starts to lean towards you, that familiar, amorous look about him that almost convinces you to chicken out and ask him another time.

"But that's not what I'm trying to say," you say.

His blissful smile fades just slightly. "What is it?"

"It feels bigger now that I'm trying to ask," you confess.

He rubs your forearm reassuringly. "It's okay. You take your time. But just so you know, you can have my kidney if you need it."

You laugh, tension breaking like a sudden wash of cold over your sweaty cheeks. "I don't need a kidney."

"Well, if you ever do, I'm your man."

"Would you move in with me?"

You meet his eyes and follow them as they flit between your eyes and your mouth. For once, you seem to have struck your boyfriend entirely speechless. A nice change, but especially worrisome. You almost can't stand it.

"You want to move in together?" he asks.

"Yes. Yes," you repeat, moving as close to him as you can get while you're on your knees and he's sitting the way he is, "I want you to move in with me. Here. Or- or somewhere new, if you wanted to. It doesn't have to be here."

You look down at his chest and try not to say aloud what you're thinking, self-deprecation in a one word mantra. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

Sirius' voice drops to a murmur. "Come here," he all but pleads, hands moving to your waist.

You let him pull you into his lap, arranging your thighs either side of his wait with your heart in your mouth, thinking, This is where he lets me down easy.

But, "Yes," he says, knuckle under your chin and forcing your head up to meet his gaze. "I'll move in with you. I'd love to."

"Really?"

"Yeah, baby. Of course I will. I love you," he says firmly, knuckle moving to draw a soft line along your jaw, the backs of his fingers stroking up your cheek adoringly.

"I love you too," you say. It burns in the best way.

You're so happy you could cry, euphoria in your chest and your arms and your hands pressed to his front, wondering if he can feel it and expecting to be kissed within an inch of your life. Sirius surprises you when he doesn't kiss you, not even a chaste peck, but he works his arms around you and hugs you so tightly the air gets knocked out of you.

"Oh," you say, arms forced over his shoulders.

"I love you so much," he says.

You bury your nose in his dark hair, your smile wide and trembling against his forehead. "That might change. You know, when you see me all the time."

"No, it won't."

He says it with such surety that you really do start to cry then, a mixture of relief and joy and anxiety that he was going to reject you all crashing together. Quiet, sluggish tears crest your cheeks. You sniffle happily as you hug his head to your mouth.

Sirius doesn't do anything but rub your back until you've calmed down, and then he does kiss you within an inch of your life. A hundred kisses over your damp cheeks.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black drabble #sirius black fanfiction #marauders era #marauders #sirius black imagine #sirius x reader #sirius x you #sirius orion black #sirius black #sirius black dialogue

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josiesullysblog · 1 year

Text

Stuck Like Glue p2

~AGED UP Neteyam x Na’vi reader

~Fluff

~Proofread?-no

~Summary- You and Neteyam are sworn mates.

***

Neteyam couldn't believe himself. The girl he hated, borderline despised was the same girl making his heart pump. Making his palms sweaty. The same girl he was walking to way after eclipse to meet up with. He is making a mockery of himself, but he was following his heart. And his heart wanted to see you again, hear you laugh, feel your hand on his body. He was a fool in love but luckily he knew you two would end up together. A smile fell on his lips thinking about the kids you and he would have. He rubbed his face to stop his train of thought, he was in over his head.

You waited patiently for the boy's arrival making sure your braids were nicely done. You knew it was wrong, you were sworn to another. So, why were you attempting to look good for a boy you’ll never see again? You groaned as you caught yourself looking at your reflection in the water. You heard footsteps causing your thoughts to go away when you saw him.

He was so cute you couldn't help it. You gave a small wave as he approached you. “Ready for your first day of lessons?” you nodded eagerly, “I can't wait,” you masked the blush that appeared with excitement as the boy handed you an arrow, “we will start by trying to catch a fish.” You both walked towards the river.

“It's about getting the right timing,” you watched as he quietly stepped into the water before aiming at a fish and letting go, “see?” Amazmemt crossed your face, “I can do that!” you quickly grabbed the bow in his hands. “Hold on there princess, you're not even holding it correctly,” he placed a gentle hand on you helping you get the right angle. Your breath hitched at the nickname you completely losing focus as he maneuvers you around.

Neteyam held a soft smirk on his face watching you, he knew you were learning nothing from him. But he likes to call this payback from all those years ago. “Alright release when you feel it is the right time,” his hands leave you as you finally focus back in. You notice a fish nearby and you release it, hitting it perfectly. You clapped running up to it, “I did it!” Neteyam laughed while you brought it closer to him.

“My parents would kill me if they knew I was doing this!” You laughed as you finally let go of the fish. Neteyam continued to help you learn other skills, while the night got darker. You two laughed as he explained some of his experiences when he was first learning. “You are a fast learner, much better than my brother,” you beamed at him, “aw thank you!”

He continued to teach you the basics, and hours went by. You two became rather close in the short time you've talked, but you knew after tomorrow he’d most likely be unable to teach you. You asked him to do this because you just wanted to do one thing that was your choice. You were going to be mating with a man you hardly knew, learning about certain things, that before this point was only meant for the Tsahik. Your life was going to change forever, and you just wanted one thing you could control.

“What are you thinking about,” Neteyam questioned you. You smiled sadly, “i’m just kinda nervous for the future I guess,” you wish you had a way of knowing what was gonna happen next. “These next few months are gonna be different then to what i’m used to,” Neteyam listened intently. You two were more similar than he’d thought.

“I’m sworn to the Olo'eyktan’s son, I fear he will not love me,” maybe it was the fact it was dark, or maybe because you knew nothing of the boy in front of you, but you felt at peace. Neteyam’s heart fell, “I understand the feeling you're talking about,” you faced the boy, “it feels like my whole life my family has been pushing this narrative onto me, to be this amazing warrior.” You scooted closer to the boy, “ever since I was fifteen, I’ve wished for time to stop and let me just be free.”

You smiled at his words, “it's not fair how everyone around us is forcing us to grow up!” You laughed thinking about it, “we still have time before we truly are seen as adults,” Neteyam smiled at you, to which you returned it. “Maybe it's a good thing we can't control time,” you looked confused at the boys words.

“Why’s that?” Neteyam looked at the river in front of you, “if we keep focusing on the future we’ll miss the present,” he paused looking at you, “I’ve actually been focusing on the past myself,” Neteyam sighed. He was so focused on what you did to him, he didn't even give you a chance. Listening to you explain how scared you are for the future opened his eyes, nobody benefits from being stuck in time.

“When I was younger, I met this girl who got me in trouble,” he smiled at the memory, “I was so upset at her, I refused to see her in any other light,” you looked at him, “did she ever apologize?” Neteyam shook his head, “oh, that's terrible!” He could laugh at the situation, funny how you have no idea he’d talking about you. “But I forgave her,” you looked at him shocked, “you forgive her even though she’s wronged you?” he nodded. You looked at the stars, “thank you.”

“For what?” you smiled at him, “everything.”

It had become the next morning, your anxiety skyrocketed, “do not fret child, Neteyam will love you,” you smiled at the woman but her words gave you no comfort. You kept thinking back to the boy you met and how much you both clicked. You prayed that you and Neteyam would click the same way, “let us go now!” your father's voice boomed in the room.

You took a deep breath and recalled what the boy told you last night, as you thought about it you realized you never got his name. It was for the better that way, you thought maybe knowing his name would hurt more than help.

Neteyam on the other hand, couldn't be more excited. At first, he was a little upset, but now that he at least got to know more about you even on his own terms, he couldn't be happier. He was imagining your face when you notice that he is the boy you are to be mated with. A smile appeared on his face thinking about it, “Neteyam we’d like to speak with you,” his parents walked in, “everything alright?”

Neytiri took to heart what Neteyam had said, and he was right they had given the boy no room for his own choices. “I’ve heard your worries son, and I come up with a solution,” Neteyam went to go speak but Neytiri cut him off. “You were right son, it should be up to you who you want to mate,” Neteyam’s eyes widen there was no way his mother cut the agreement off. “So, all I ask is for you to meet her once more today, and decided if you want to continue or not,” Neteyam let a sigh of relief out, “then and only then will I leave you alone.”

Neteyam nodded, “that's alright with me!” he was definitely interested in mating with you now, so he knew his mother would be thrilled with his choice. His mind all night kept going back to you, how you and he were so similar yet different. He hoped you felt the same way, or at least willing to try with him.

You held your head high, walking into the center. Everyone smiled and congratulated you on your unity but you were far from happy. “Smile dear,” your mother said as you finally sat down. You pushed a fake one looking at the area Neteyam and his family would sit.

An old custom was that when a pair were to be mated in front of Eywa, they’d hold a party before in hopes of long-lasting love, a good heir, and happiness. You were from a different tribe, so your unity with Neteyam was especially special. The combing of two different people becoming one, yet you felt as if someone had stabbed you.

Neteyam picked up his pace after Kiri said you had already made it to the festival. His heart raced as his eyes looked for you, when he finally spotted you his hands clamped up. You were actually stunning, you looked nervous but you were the most gorgeous girl.

He wasted no time in heading to you and your family. Your father immediately gets up and hugs the boy, “Neteyam how you have grown!” your mother hugged him next. You were far too busy looking at everyone dancing to notice the interaction, you wanted to dance but knew your parents would be against it.

“Seems as if she’d like to dance,” Neteyam walked closer to you, finally gaining your attention. Your heart fell realizing who it was, the boy from last night. You looked past him and realized Neteyam’s family was still not there. You gave a polite smile as the boy gave you his hand, “would you like to dance?” you immediately looked up at your parents who nodded, so you took his hands.

Maybe it was a kind gesture to dance here, you hadn't pieced it together yet. “I thought I’d never see you again,” you smiled at the boy, “oh, I highly doubt this will be the last time we see each other.” You made a confused face as he brought you to the middle and started dancing with you, “why’s that?”

He laughed, “sweetheart ask me my name,” you were beyond confused at this point, “why?” He pulled you closer, “I asked first,” you sighed before hesitating, “what is your name?” He twirled you around, “it's Neteyam.”

And just like that, everything started making sense. You let out a gasp which made Neteyam belly laugh, “took you long enough,” you blushed embarrassed at how slow it took you to catch on, “why didn't you say anything!” you playfully pushed him. “Well, where's the fun in that?” you laughed at his antics.

“When did you know?” you both continued to dance, “when you told me your name, no one around here has such a pretty name,” you blushed at the compliment. He was going to explain how you were the girl in his story but he stopped himself. It didn't matter anymore, and he’d admit he was being a little dumb.

As you two danced and laughed, Neytiri finally joined the festivities and smiled watching her son and you. Granted, she didn't know the exact reason why you two were so close, but it didn't matter. You two looked happy, that's what matter.

***

HEYYYYY! So, this was originally supposed to be done yesterday, but I absolutely hated it. So glad I did cus this ending is cuter than the original! Hope you enjoyed it!

Taglist: @cherry-blossom24, @yourbobaeyestell, @erenjaegerwife, @mashiromochi, @nxptury, @eywaheardyou , @vviolaswrld , @fanfictons-loveavatar, @c78r , @stevesdick, @inutheangel, @neteyamforlife, @mommyneytiri, @btsiguess-kpop, @slythermania, @tejas-kris, @cwufst, @hornknee-and-bi-myself, @laviedanslespetal, @scarletrosesposts

#avatar way of water #neteyam #avatar loak #jake sully #loak x reader #neteyam x y/n #avatar #neytiri #avatar neteyam #neteyam x na'vi!reader

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thelampisaflashlight · 8 months

Text

Everything Goes On Pt. 1

[Surprise, it's divorce. Angst. Not suitable for younger audiences.] Below the cut.

"I just think I want... I think what we want, what we are, as a couple has changed." Aether says, his hand on Dew's knee as they sit side by side on their shared bed -the one that Dew decides in that moment that he'll never sleep in again- he rubs soothing circles with his thumb, but his touch feels... wrong now.

Dew crosses his legs and ignores the faint tingle left behind by Aether's warm hands.

"What I want..." he forces the lump in his throat down, "...is to stay together."

Aether sighs and it sounds...

Cold.

Distant.

Less empathetic more... tired.

"Dew..." he starts, pausing to rub his hands down his face before patting them against his thighs to ground himself and force the words he wants -no, needs- to say out, "...I want... wanted-"

Dew winces at the other's correction.

"-I wanted us to be together, too, but our priorities are... they're just different now. I have things I want that I can't force you to give me." Aether says, clasping his hands in front of him in his lap, "I'm... I'm leaving the abbey. I'm going home-"

"This IS your home..." Dew whispers, unable to speak any louder for fear of his voice cracking, "...Why are you doing this...? Why... Why are you doing this to me?"

Aether makes a sound, somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.

"Because it's not about you."

The words hit Dew like a slap across the face.

Because it's not about you.

"It sure fucking feels like it is." he hisses, standing up and facing Aether, who casts his own eyes upon the floor, "W-What..."

Fucking dammit.

"What did I do?"

The ghoul lifts his head and meets his gaze, no softness, no adoration...

No love.

"Nothing." Aether says, "And that's half the problem."

Dew's eye twitches.

"Nothing?? I've done nothing??" his eyes go wide, his chest grows tight, "I-"

"Emotionally speaking... you just... aren't the same."

"...What?"

Aether pats the bed.

"Sit back down."

"No..."

"I said sit." Aether growls.

Dew swallows... but he does sit.

He does sit, and he hates himself all the more for it.

"To be honest," he begins, "I've felt this way for a long time now. Maybe I should have said something sooner, then maybe we could have talked things out... I led you on, and, for that, I'm sorry-"

"You're not." Dew thinks, "You don't regret it at all."

"-but beyond sex-"

Dew closes his eyes and pretends he's anywhere but here right now.

"-what have you ever actually done for me?"

Silence.

"Name one thing."

Silence.

"...See? Doesn't feel good, does it?" Aether says after a moment, "So, yeah, there it is. I was trying to spare your feelings, but, well, I don't even know if you have feel-"

"Stop."

"Dew-"

"I know what you're going to fucking say, and fuck you."

"...Okay, that's fair. I crossed a line there."

Dew stands again.

"So we're done then?" he asks, gesturing broadly at the room around them, "Four fucking years..."

"Four fucking years!" he shouts, wanting desperately to throw something, but instead lowering his arms at his sides, clenched fists turning into open palms, "...Four years, Aeth. We've been together for four years, we were... we were building a life together and now you're just... you're throwing that away?"

"When I think about the future I want..." Aether says, getting to his feet and heading for the door, "...you're not a part of it anymore."

Dew stops him, opening the door and stepping outside.

"Then at least let me be the one to leave first." he remarks calmly, a small, sad smile on his face, "I guess I don't have to tell you to gather up your things, since I already saw the boxes folded up in the closet earlier."

"I-" Aether frowns, but Dew cuts him off again.

"I hope this makes you happy... because I'm certainly not." he says, "But, ya know, if what you were going to say is true, then I never knew what that felt like to begin with."

Aether says something, but it's muffled by the sound of the door shutting in his face.

Dew lingers in the hallway for a moment, dazed.

Maybe Aether is right and he doesn't have feelings, because all he feels right now is numb.

He breathes in a sharp inhale.

Unsteady.

He turns and makes his way down the hall, moving with purpose even if he isn't sure where he's going.

Normally, when he's upset, he goes to his room.

Their room.

But now he has nowhere to go.

So he goes nowhere.

And, man, does nowhere look a lot like the loft above the second floor of the library.

He scales the ladder without much thought and nestles himself in the large beanbag chair that nobody uses but him.

It's old and worn and conforms perfectly to his body, encompassing him in comfort he can't bring himself to enjoy.

He lays there, staring at the ceiling for a while before reaching into his pockets for his phone, but coming up empty.

"Right," he thinks, closing his eyes, "it's back in the room charging."

He'll get it later.

Maybe.

Annoyingly, by the afternoon, word has gotten around about their break-up.

Not that Dew has said anything about it, he's been too busy counting the cobwebs accumulating on the ceiling -the new librarian is afraid of heights and gets too shaky on the ladder to clean up here, even when he holds it for him- but from the chatter down below, Aether must have told everyone himself.

"I can't believe they lasted that long."

"Honestly, if I was Aether, I would have just kept hooking up with him until it was time to leave-"

"I wouldn't have dated him to begin with, Dew's too unstable..."

"You're taking that guy's side? Imagine being Dew right now, that was probably the only chance he had at a steady relationship"

"He'll be over it in a week tops."

"A week? I give him a day. Dude doesn't care about anyone but himself."

Sure, kick him while he's down.

He deserves it.

"I heard-"

A loud clap echoes through the library, startling the gossiping siblings into silence.

"If you have time to talk, you're clearly not reading or trying to study and have no business here." a stern voice announces, "So get out and let others make use of the space."

There's a bit of shuffling and the sounds of chairs being moved before Dew hears the door to the library click shut, and the voice from a moment ago calls up in a far gentler tone.

"Stay up there as long as you need."

"...Thanks, Quincy."

Dew can't see him, but he can sense the librarian's eyes on him, even from down below.

"...I'll be okay." he adds, "So don't worry about it."

"I'm not going to say it, but you know what I mean." Quincy says.

"Maybe in a day or two, when it's not... ya know. Fresh."

"Right. At any rate... I'm working late tonight, so I'll leave the lights on a little longer than usual."

"...I appreciate that."

By the time Dew leaves the library, the sun is setting outside, and he can feel his back click from laying in the same position all day.

He thinks he should be hungry by now, too, but despite how empty he's feeling otherwise, his stomach feels... fine.

He doesn't really like eating when he's sad.

Makes the food taste funny, but he knows he can't just... not eat.

A slice of bread or maybe some chips.

That's all he wants, but-

Laughter.

Dew freezes in the doorway to the ghouls' living room, stares across the space to the kitchenette and sees...

"So I said-"

Aether.

Aether and...

"Said what?" someone asks, sounds like Swiss, but everything seems so distant all of a sudden.

Everyone.

Everyone's standing around in the kitchen with Aether.

Laughing.

Laughing like his world wasn't just shattered.

"So I said-"

Said what.

What are they talking about?

Are they... are they talking about this morning?

Is that why they're laughing...?

They're all...

"Dew?"

...They're all laughing at him.

He's not sure what gives him the strength to walk away.

What makes him think twice about going over there and beating the shit out of each and every one of them...

...but he hates that the voice of reason in his head -the one telling him to consider the possibility that he just walked in on an unrelated conversation- sounds like Aether.

And, as he walks down the hall, he hates the fact that he can't hear anyone -can't hear Aether- walking after him to check on him when he's clearly not...

"I don't even know if you have feelings."

Dew swings at the imaginary Aether in his thoughts and misses, because of course he would, and slams his fist hard into the stone wall beside him.

Pain shoots through his knuckles as the rough rock tears at the thin skin there.

Dew gives a wordless scream and hits the wall again.

"Too unstable."

Fuck.

"Doesn't care about anyone but himself."

FUCK.

"...Fuck..."

Maybe he is unstable, but...

...If there's one person in this world Dew couldn't give less of a shit about....

...it's himself.

"You asshole, that was your job..." Dew hiccups, "...You were supposed to care... you were supposed to love me... You SAID you loved me..."

"-but beyond sex-"

...Is that all he was good for?

Is... is that the best he has to offer someone?

He... he tried so hard to show Aether he loved him.

He told him all the time, too!

Even when... even when he wasn't sure.

Dew blinks away his tears, pulling his sleeve over his palm to rub it over his eyes.

He sits down on the floor, back against the wall.

"...Satanas..." he sighs, "...maybe I should be the one going home..."

Ah.

Right.

Home.

That used to be where Aether was -still is when he tries to imagine it- but more pressingly, through the fog of misery clouding his mind, home is where his phone is.

He gets up, slow and zombielike, and trudges along with his head dipped down low.

"Don't think, just get in, get out." he tells himself, "You don't care, you don't have feelings, so this won't..."

...Hurt.

Dew stares at the suitcases sitting open on the bed.

Sees them half full with Aether's things, and...

"I bought him this shirt." Dew says, picking up the funkily patterned polo shirt from the top of the stack, pinching the soft fabric between his fingers, "..."

The first tear is hard.

It takes more effort than he expected, but once his claws hook into the seams, it practically falls apart in his hands.

But it doesn't... it doesn't scratch the strange itch in the back of his skull.

He needs...

He turns to Aether's beside table and pulls the drawer all the way out without a second thought.

Dumps the contents on the bed and grabs the pictures that flutter down a bit slower than the bulkier parts of the mess.

Pictures of him.

Pictures of them.

Pictures of the so-called "good times"...

The stupid fucking polaroid plastic is impossible to rip in one go, so he grabs the barber scissors from the bathroom.

He makes a fine confetti when all is said and done and lets it fall across the bed.

Still not enough-

Dew throws Aether's things in the hallway.

Lets the suitcase smack against the opposing wall.

Throws the stupid fucking matching mugs they bought at some tourist trap while in a city countries away.

Throws the scrapbook he was working on for their stupid fucking anniversary-

...and then his phone chimes.

Across the bed, long forgotten in his rage.

And, damn, if he doesn't want to throw that, too, when he sees his own stupid fucking smiling face squished against Aether's on his lockscreen.

#lamp writes #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band fanfic #This is going to hurt

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