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#not sure of the name of decorative blocks tbh
rorywritesjunk · 3 months
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The stars in their courses will run and bring their hearts earthward to hear her.
Buggy brings his son in to the bakery to get a treat for his birthday. You like decorating cakes. Rating: PG-13ish. Warning: Fast paced in a way. Six month time skip. Pregnancy. Buggy's a little insistent and sulky. Talk of child abandonment. A/N: Now that Birdie has a name I think of her a lot tbh.
Title comes from “Girl in the Garden” by S.J. Tucker.
Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6
Chapter 4
Six months had passed by when he walked into the bakery. You grimaced when you saw him, shaking your head as he tried not to make eye contact, looking everywhere but at you. You didn’t remember his name after meeting him those few times, but he remembered you by the small smile he gave you as he placed an order for a cake.
“Who’s birthday is it?” You asked as you wrote down the order. “And what’s a name for pickup?”
“It’s for Darby’s birthday.” Cabaji said quickly; you looked up and raised an eyebrow.
“So, his half birthday then?” You said as you straightened up a bit. “Since his birthday was six months ago, which is when I met him and his dad.”
“It’s… the Captain’s birthday?” 
“For a pirate, you’re really bad at lying.” You pointed out as you ripped the order off the pad and tore it up. “I thought pirates were good at it.” You sighed and rubbed your face. “Look, just buy a dozen cupcakes and call it good, okay? I don’t know why you’re here with your terrible lies but I don’t have time for it.”
“R-Right.” He took the box he was given of assorted cupcakes and gave you some berry before leaving, but not before looking back at you once more before he stepped out the door. Why he had to come check on you and not the Captain himself was something Cabaji was curious about. Darby spent the last six months talking about you, asking when you’d come and cook pancakes again, and to his credit, Buggy was patient and kind with the kid with all the questions but he took the frustrations of the situation out on his crew.
Buggy wasn’t handling it well, the way things ended between you two and Cabaji had seen it firsthand. He knew his Captain had a big heart, one that often opened up when he thought he’d found a kindred soul, someone he could fall in love with and sail the seas together, but when you walked out after breakfast that morning, he was shattered, even if he didn’t tell it to anyone, but Cabaji saw it. 
When Buggy saw they would be near your town again, he sent Cabaji out to check in on you. And boy, Cabaji had news to share and he wasn’t sure how the captain was going to take it.
Once he delivered the cupcakes to the kitchen, he sought out Buggy. He was in Darby’s room, brushing his son’s hair out while trying to figure out how to style it for the day. The three year old hated sitting still but Buggy had given him some blocks to distract himself with while he worked. Cabaji knocked on the door and cleared his throat; Buggy looked up and glared at him.
“What?”
“I saw her, sir.” 
“And?”
“She’s… changed.” Cabaji trailed off and Buggy rolled his eyes.
“How? She get a haircut, grow shorter, or is she missing some limbs? I don’t really care, I was just curious.” He said as he began to braid Darby’s hair. 
“She’s pregnant, Captain Buggy.”
Buggy stopped what he was doing and slowly looked over at Cabaji. “She’s what now?”
“Pregnant.” He said hesitantly. “I didn’t… ask how far along she was.”
“Did she have a ring?”
“I didn’t see one.”
Buggy nodded slowly and turned back to his son. “You can go.”
“Sir-”
“I said go.” His hand flew at Cabaji, pushing him out of the room before yanking the door shut. So, you were pregnant. You must have found a man shortly after Buggy which didn’t sit well with him. It wasn’t as if you belonged to him or that he was the jealous type, he just… wanted to know what you’d been up to since you left the ship during breakfast and broke his son’s little heart. It wasn’t that Buggy cared about you, no, he just didn’t like seeing his son so sad. You two weren’t in any sort of relationship after two days, but maybe he needed to pay you a visit, just to say hi, check in with you, that sort of thing.
~
When you walked up to the bakery the next day, you noticed someone was waiting outside. That wasn’t too unusual, often someone was waiting for the place to open so they could grab a breakfast pastry and coffee, completely normal, but it was just that when you got closer and saw who it was, you paused for a moment. He hadn’t changed in six months, still had his blue hair hidden, his makeup was still smeared, and his nose just as red.
“Uh… hi.” You weren’t really sure what to say. You didn’t expect to see him. “Bakery opens in an hour.”
“The donuts were tasty, Darby wanted more.” Buggy said with a shrug. “Wanted to be first in line to get the best ones.”
“Those were cupcakes.”
Buggy paused for a moment before shrugging again. “Same thing.”
You sighed and unlocked the door, gesturing for him to follow you in. This was a dumb idea, why were you doing this? Why were you letting him into your place of work while you tried to get ready for the day? You locked the door behind him and went to make him a cup of coffee.
“Why are you here?” You asked with a frown. “Is Darby okay?”
His gaze softened just a bit at you asking about his son. He nodded as he took a seat. “He's fine. Growing like seaweed.”
You didn't correct him as you brought him his coffee. He grabbed your wrist gently before you could pull away, looking up at you, eyes briefly flickering to your growing stomach.
“So, find some hot guy to make an honest woman outta ya?”
“Not exactly.” You said; his eyes narrowed and you sighed, removing yourself from his grasp and putting his hand on your stomach. “I was pretty shocked, the two times I wasn't careful and some goofy pirate knocked me up.”
“Wait-”
“Yep.” You stepped away from him and headed to the kitchen. He got up to follow, leaving the coffee behind. “Six months along. Kinda getting tired of being on my feet all day.” 
“Why are you still working then?”
It was hard not to snap an answer back at him. Admittedly, you found the fool to be handsome, it was hard not to in some ways, but he was certainly dumb sometimes. You bit back a retort as you started to bend down to get something but Buggy’s hands were there to help you. You pointed out what you needed and they grabbed them, putting them up on the counter for you.
“I can't not work, Buggy. I need money, especially with this little one on the way.” You sighed. “And then once the baby is born, I'll be coming to work with them because… I don't have anyone to help me.”
“I still have an open position on my ship.” Buggy said without missing a beat. “I… still want someone to help with Darby.”
“What, like a nanny?” You asked. Before, the idea was crazy to you. But now, with the baby growing inside you, it didn't sound half bad. Keeping up with the running of the bakery was driving you crazy. You’d come home exhausted, achy, feet sore and swollen. It was hard to want to get out of bed some mornings to do it all over again. You didn’t know how to pace yourself, barely even giving yourself a day off most of the time, and as you reflected on that for a moment, the invite did sound enticing. Maybe it was the changing hormones and emotions, but you ended up nodding. “Do I get my own room, or…”
“Own room, you take care of Darby, I'll pay you, it's quite the life, y’know.” Buggy shrugged. “He'd love to have you around.”
“Is he the only one?” You asked as you tapped one of his hands, pointing to a large mixing bowl that was up high. “Look, I didn't mean to leave the way I did, I just… was concerned with what you said. I really liked those two days with you, and I loved spending time with Darby.”
Buggy just shrugged. “He loved spending time with you and having you on the ship.”
You smiled softly and looked at him. “I just… need a few days to take care of some things.”
~
The way Darby's eyes lit up when he saw you at breakfast one morning made you think the decision to come aboard was the right one. He completely ignored Buggy in favor of hurrying over to you and holding his arms up to be picked up, which you did, pulling him into your lap, which was just a little uncomfortable with your stomach being in the way, but he didn't seem to mind. He was just happy to see you.
“Clearly you're the favorite.” Buggy sighed as he fixed Darby’s plate for him. You had arrived the night before after Darby went to bed. Buggy gave you the Grand Tour of the ship, finishing off where your room was, the small storage room that was between Buggy's and Darby's room and it was perfect. He had it converted pretty quickly and you appreciated it, even though you ended up sleeping with Buggy that night.
“I can't help it.” You chuckled as you hugged Darby, kissing him on the forehead as he made himself comfortable on your lap. “I missed you, Darby. I'm excited to spend time with you!”
“With me?” He looked up at you with a frown. “Why?”
“She's going to stay with us for a bit, sweetheart.” Buggy told him as he set Darby's plate down in front of you, as well as your own. “She's going to live with us! That's great, right?”
“Really?” The little boy's eyes lit up as he looked at you. The smile on his face tugged at your heart and oh, you couldn't believe that you were going to do this, live on a pirate ship while pregnant, helping the captain raise this adorable child. 
“Oh, he's precious.” You chuckled as you hugged him. “Really! I'll get to play with you, we can cook and do whatever you want, Darby.”
Buggy wasn't sure he could handle the scene in front of him. Darby had the biggest smile on his face as he looked up at you while you had one arm around him while you used the other to start feeding yourself. It was apparent what kind of person you were with how attached his son was to you already, even after meeting you the first time and wandering off to see you the next day. Darby still didn't even go near most of the crew and they knew him since he was a baby.
It was a little too sweet and Buggy finally managed to look away, focusing on his own food while you answered Darby’s questions between bites while also encouraging the three year old to eat as well. Was this going to work out? It had been Buggy and Darby for the kid's entire life and now here you were, pregnant with Darby’s sibling, joining the family in some way. 
Buggy realized there was going to need to be some conversations happening.
~
“Can Darby call you mom?”
It was just before lunchtime the day you arrived. Darby was down for a nap while you were in the kitchen, preparing lunch for the three of you. You knew the two of you would need to talk, lay down rules, expectations and boundaries, things like that, but you just didn't expect that question out of the blue like that.
“Do you want him to?” You asked, looking up from the cheese sandwiches you were currently toasting. “I mean, I think it would be confusing if this new baby comes and we are saying ‘mommy and daddy’ around it, and he just calls you daddy…”
“I want him to be able to.” Buggy said a little too quickly. You frowned as he went to grab plates for the three of you. He hesitated for a second before looking at you. “Look, Darby’s mom didn't want him. We… we had a fling, I didn't know she was pregnant, and when I came to visit her, she told me either I take the kid or he goes to an orphanage.” He took a moment, cleared his throat, before adding, “He was a little baby, y’know. He was just a few weeks old and that bitch wanted to leave him at an orphanage.”
“Oh, Buggy…” You swallowed the lump in your throat and rubbed your eyes, trying to ignore the tears threatening to well up. “That's horrible.”
“I wasn't going to put my son through that. And… and he is my son, it's pretty obvious, and it hasn't been easy but I love that kid.” Buggy continued, no longer looking at you as he set the table. “Y’know, never thought I'd be a dad. Didn't think it was a possibility, but… here I am, raising one kid with another on the way.”
You lowered the heat on the stove before walking over to Buggy and touching his arm to get his attention. He glanced over at you and you took his hand, placing it on your swollen belly.
“We both know this isn't going to be perfect, we're probably going to fight and have other issues, but I'm fine if Darby wants to call me mom.” You told him as he sat down on a chair and leaned into you, resting his cheek on your stomach. “But I don't want to force it, let it happen naturally, okay?”
“Yea…” He trailed off, eyes closed as he made himself comfortable against you. You didn't move for a moment, rubbing his shoulder gently. 
“Are you sleepy?” You asked; he nodded. “Okay, I think it's time for you to take a nap after lunch. I'll take care of Darby so you can get some rest.”
“I'm too old for naps.” He mumbled in response.
“I feel like I had this conversation already today.” You chuckled as your fingers moved from his shoulder to the back of his neck. He shuddered, leaning into you further, and you kept it up for a few more minutes. “Okay, I need to get Darby up for lunch. After you eat, you take your nap.”
Buggy tilted his head up to scowl at you but you weren't bothered by it. You already saw that scowl on a three year old when you put him down for his nap a few hours ago. You just patted Buggy on the cheek before pulling away to plate the sandwiches before going off to collect Darby.
This was all either going to work out or explode into millions of pieces.
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TWST Boys with Artist Yuu Part 2 Electricboogaloo
Content warning: Probably bad grammar and spelling or something
Ocatvinelle/Pomefiore
Heartslaybul
Riddle’s notes are already organized to perfection but his juniors still have a hard time following along. The notes look just like the textbook, so he knows it’s easy to understand but it’s not clicking with his students. Yuu’s artistic flair will give more life to the blocks of texts in a way that’s way more engaging (and will hopefully deter his students from going to Azul for help)
Ace commissions decks of cards where the Ace of Hearts looks way cooler than the Ace of Spades. Cards, dice, chips; any sort of parlor trick tool that he can use sleight of hand on (he totally doesn’t have his specialty Ace of Hearts in a frame or anything)
Decorating cakes and other pastries with Trey, creating the most intricate and detailed designs anyone in Heartslaybul has ever seen. Trey normally sticks to normal piping and the likes but Yuu has seen way too many episodes of Cake Boss to leave it at that. Every odd Unbirthday Party gets a sugary sculpture of a flamingo, hedgehog, house of cards, you name it. Bets are made throughout the dorm of when and what the next piece will be
Creating sick blastycle designs with Deuce as he struggles to think of something that looks cool yet sophisticated. Deuce’s designs are usually bombastic but just needs a bit of tweaking. He has posters of blastycle designs on his walls from excitedly brainstorming ideas with Yuu whenever there was a spare moment
Cater had noticed the blastycle sketches on Deuce’s wall and asked to design some skateboards with him. It started off with the design on the bottom and the colors of the wheels before completely drafting boards from scratch. Interesting but dynamic shapes, cool color comps, sick designs; the whole process is going straight to Magicam!
Savanaclaw
The sound of the pencil against the paper has become a lullaby when Leona naps near Yuu. This is the best time to catch the 3rd year without a scowl and the Botanical Gardens makes for a nice scene study. As long as Yuu switches out the sketchbook or runs away in time before Leona wakes up, their work can stay intact 
Jack tries everything in his power to keep his tail from wagging whenever Yuu paints the cactus’ pots. He always turns down the offer to join, saying that it’s for kids, but he never misses a painting session (he’s just there to make sure your design is school appropriate, he says)
Ruggie very rarely gets free time to himself but on rare occasions he likes to watch the equally bust Yuu drawing in their sketchbook. After noticing the hyena’s ears twitching while using a pen or other hard mediums, Yuu opted for soft pastels. Every so often, Ruggie would purposefully smudge a line or the entire piece tbh. Yuu pretends to be mad but they see it as them doing art together (plus its funny watching Ruggie smudge everything he touches with color, especially if it’s Leona’s stuff)
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arcadian-vampire · 2 years
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My Terraria world so far! :0
Looong post ahead, mostly tucked under a read more link, bc I have a Lot to say!!
I'm playing on Journey mode, so I get to cheat a bit by researching + duplicating stuff, hehe. It makes it wayyy easier to build without worrying about stopping to collect more blocks, and I figured since this is my second first time really playing, I'll take it easy and get to know the game better before I try the harder difficulties!
My character's name is The Wanderer! They're mainly melee bc I Love the cool swords in this, but I make sure to get good ranger gear + weapons for tricky bosses. They had white hair until I got the party hair dye from the stylist and decided the confetti was the best thing ever
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And my world is a large one named Kepler-62e, after a big earth-like exoplanet!! I decided on a large world because I like having lots to explore, and plenty of space on the surface to build things!
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Here's my home!!! I wanted kind of a wizard tower vibe, and I plan to decorate it more and make it fancier over time, but I'm happy with it for now!
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Ryan the Guide and Greg the Rabbit also live up here :0
Beneath that is my crafting room, which has kind of spilled out into the central part of tower because I ran out of space lol. I'll reorganize it eventually so everything fits
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That central part of the tower- where the torches are- will eventually have stained glass windows to match the smaller tower! I just don't have enough at the moment
Between the two towers is the main portion of the castle! It has a kitchen and dining room on the main floor, a party room and the pylon on the second floor, and two bedrooms + a bathroom on the third floor! Above that I've got a bunch of sunflowers for now
The merchant lives in the right third floor room, with the elder slime. The steampunker is in the left room of the third floor, just until I decide where he should live. And the party girl lives with the cool slime on the second floor.
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The smaller tower is what I built first, so its stained glass windows are complete! I'm thinking about redecorating the wizard's room, but I haven't decided yet. I might move him and the party girl into a tower in the Hallow
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This tower leads down into my main Hellevator (tm). It also features some spare rooms for npcs or storage, and a cute little jail where the tax collector and golfer live <3
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Behind my castle, I made a lil pond + fountain, just to be fancy. I want to decorate a whole lot more, but haven't got around to it just yet!
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At the front of the castle (the right side), I've started to put together a garden for potion ingredients. Might change it later, but it's fine for now! I also want another fountain here, some picnic tables, and another small tower beyond all that.
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Here's the world's spawn point, and the first npc house I ever built, lol. I want to put the small tower here I think
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Just past the first npc house is a little fishing pond I made! I spend a lot of time fishing for crates here
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And on the other side of the fishing hole is the mausoleum and graveyard, where the clothier lives! I'd had Nana the cat living with him, but she kept getting attacked by zombies so I moved her
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Back to the left of the castle, the desert is a short walk away, and has three npcs living around the oasis! On the right is the dye trader, and on the left live the nurse and arms dealer. I want to change these houses a bit later
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Further to the left is the jungle! I haven't finished these houses, but this is a community of four npcs! The zoologist and witch doctor in one house, and the painter and dryad in the other
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Much further to the left, we have T H E M U S H R O O M, where the truffle lives with John the dog! It's pretty simple, but I still love it a lot tbh
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And alllll the way to the left side of the map is the beach, where the angler and stylist live! These houses were put together pretty quickly, so I plan to make them cooler at some point
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Venturing back to the right of the castle, past the graveyard and a patch of Corruption, is the Hallow! It spawned in the one place I didn't want it to- most of it is in the snow biome </3
In the small section that isn't in the snow, I dug into the hillside to make another fishing hole (where I'd be safe from the unicorns)
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In the snow biome, the goblin tinkerer and mechanic have a cozy cabin! I want to make this cuter at some point too
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Above the Hallow and snow biome, I have a sky bridge I made to fight the mech bosses! I got sick of The Destroyer murdering me in my regular arenas, so I spent some time researching the best way to deal with it and the other mechs. I made it here so I could warp to either the snow pylon or the cabin pylon and climb up real quick if a boss spawned
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Just past the ladder up to the sky bridge is the underground inn! The tavernkeep and demolitionist live here, and just outside I have another hellevator
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There's another big patch of Corruption past there, and I purified some of its surface and planted Hallow seeds to get a patch of Hallow I like better than the one that spawned naturally. I wanna build a wizard tower here I think
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After that is the dungeon! I built an arena here to fight Skeletron, and I want to make it cooler before I eventually fight the Lunatic Cultist
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My dungeon goes Pretty Deep, like 3/4 of the way to the Underworld
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After the dungeon is more Corruption </3 I haven't built anything over here because this beach is gonna be swallowed up by the Corruption soon
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And that's all!
I really wanna get better at building, I wanna make awesome stuff. I'm happy w the castle, especially compared to the house I lived in before I built it:
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(Featuring an incredibly angry pink rabbit)
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screwstontx · 2 years
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sooo... it's not that i had writers block- i just had nothing interesting to write about bc my days have been super uneventful thanks to school & work. u can tell in my prev posts that they were forced entries. anyhoo, i have a story to tell:
a decade ago, (yes, literally ten yrs) one of my nabrs (neighbors) was leaving for bootcamp so ofc ya girl had to get him sth the nite b4 he left! obvi, sth that he actually likes- which was a box of his fav oatmeal (raisin?) cookies
i wrapped it all nicely & decorated it w/ pictures & letters cut out from magazines kind of like how culprits in old hollywood films would make ransom notes
anyhoo, i uninstalled ig a few mos ago but needed to login a few days ago so i logged in via firefox & saw i had a new follow.
twas my nabr.
we met up yday which was actually the very first time we had ever formally met. ever. idek how we got ea others contact # back when we were in hs tbh... we didnt know ea other. at all.
all thru out the nite he kept telling me how much of an impact that gesture had on him & how he thought about it frequently & always wondered how i was doing blahblahblah
he said he saw my name on his recommended list & wasnt gonna question if it was me or not. saying he was ninety-eight percent sure it was me. also saying how he doesnt know how/why i of all ppl showed up on that suggestion list bc we have zero mutual friends
well
he seems to have taken a genuine interest in me
so far, the bond we have isnt based on lust.
in which theres a theory i have. i think maybe the reason i am such a giver in many aspects such as time, effort, energy, & money is bc im compensating. i mean im no naomi campbell but ppl tend to not be able to see past my appearance even though i have way more to offer than just my looks. but w/ him, he doesnt stare at me like im a piece of meat & hasnt tried any funny business. hes been nothing but a perfect gentleman. we're gonna grab a bite to eat 2mro ima update y'all. we shall see where this goes
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derp-craft · 2 years
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some shots of build experiments in this lil village~ I've been having fun experimenting while trying to keep it soooomewhat cohesive.
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dejwrites · 2 years
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missing chubby y/n & plug!draken :((((
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❪ ♡ ❫ ─── ⠀ ⠀⠀ his fav customer ⠀ 〳 ⠀ k.ryuguji ‵
❪ ♡ ❫ ─── ( synopsis ) just moments surrounding draken & his favorite customer.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ft ken 'draken' ryuguji, afab reader, her/she pronouns, fem petnames, chubby reader, plug!draken, suggestive themes, mentions of drugs, drug usage (weed), established relationship, tbh this is just word vomit because i have had the worst case of writers block, super short lovey dovey drabble, lowercase intended, continued from 1 & 2, minors dni!
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the neon lights looked so elegantly against your soft skin or maybe you just were high at the moment to the point where you were highly concentrated on your legs. your eyes stared up at the ceiling as you were laid out on draken's king-size bed. the black supreme hoodie (obviously belonged to draken) that was on your thick figure would rise with each movement you attempted to make. your eyelids half-open, your eyes shot red, and you were personally counting each time your heart pulsed against your chest.
"you good?" draken asked as he took place in between your thighs. despite him taking place in the warmth in between your thighs as he watched those annoying (unnecessarily loud) sports recap videos.
"mhm." was the only thing you could hum out before going back to attempting to count your heartbeats. this time you begin to comb through draken's black hair.
"you sure? i told you the new strain i received was strong and what did you say?" draken asked.
"that i'm a big girl and i can handle it," you repeated your own words back to the drug dealer that currently was in between your thighs with his head resting right above your pelvis.
"yes, you said that! i do not want to be taking your ass to the hospital." draken reminded as he locked his phone and toss the red iphone to the side.
"i'm good ken," you sighed happily.
you could feel draken lift up from laying on you. despite the room being warm, you still felt a shiver shock down your spine when you no longer could feel the warmth from draken's skin. you could feel him climb off the bed just to tower over your frame. as your eyes stared up at him in the red neon lights, you just were so starstruck. your breath hitched in your throat at how attractive draken looked at this moment. his black hair fell in his face so he found himself constantly combing through it. or the fact that when he was lost in some random thought, he'll toy with the one earring that pierced his left ear. perhaps it was the way the gold necklace with your first and last name initials would clash against his broad chest with each quick movement he'll make around his room.
at this point, you didn't know. you just knew that you had to breathe. another happy sigh escaped past your lip gloss-covered lips as you could feel draken kissing at your ankles. tugging you closer to the edge of the bed so he could kiss up on you some more. playfully dropping your ankle down before climbing on top of you decorating your cheeks with kisses.
"kennn'," you whined, but you still let the boy's lips place kisses on your neck.
he's lifting himself off you slightly, his forearm right next to your head as he stared at you. you could feel the pendant off his necklace brush against your skin as you looked up at him. mouths inches apart from sharing a heated kiss after smoking.
"(y/n), do you want to experience cummin' on my dick while you're high?"
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TAGS — @sanwioz @indiecursor @tyga-lily @gabzlovesu @misss-chrisss @hellavile @maydayaisha @thicksimpx @luffysthickwaifu @simpingforwakasa04 @sleepy3 @warmchick @festive @caribbeanwifey19 @gardenof-venus @ryuugot @strawberrysanzu @plussizeficchick @littlemochi @celi-xxmoon @po3ticb3auty @thenerdyrebel @reiners-milkbiddies @babyyblueey @woahhajime @yooniluvbot444 @whoismoneaa @tonaken @h-shibas @rueren @kazufuyusluv
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heart+head(ache), m | myg, jjk
pairing(s): yoongi x reader x jungkook
summary: Like the seasons, the highs and lows come and go. Unlike the seasons, the lows are unpredictable and multiplicative, because life is not just one aspect, but many. If there's one person that can be your heart, it's Min Yoongi. If there's one person that can occupy your head, it's Jeon Jungkook.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; fluff / comfort, then PWP; smut (fem reader, nipple play, scratching / marking, fingering, hair-pulling, penetrative sex); softdom!Jungkook
this series has always been the personification of Yoongi and Jungkook as my muses. therefore it's not really a story, but rather a glimpse into my emotional state at the time it was written (about two weeks ago). I thought about not posting it, but, hey, you can choose to read it or not. I don't expect anyone to read it, tbh.
--
heartspace!Yoongi - his POV
"Leave me alone."
He sat down, silent, beside the hunched form.
"I can't take it anymore."
The only light came from the desk above them, the laptop screen blaring brightly in the darkness.
"I want to go back to the way it was."
He reached up and touched her knuckles, rubbing his fingertips over them.
"Back when no one knew I existed. Back when no one wanted to get in my head."
Over the silver rings, tracing reach one, decoration and armor, mirroring the outward self that protected the one inside. The fragile one that hid from the outside world. She let him see the fragility in this space, but only in this space. Her nails dug into her skin, tearing it up from the outside as the thoughts inside tore her to shreds.
"I don’t want these wings. I don’t want to fly high."
He waited, quietly, saying nothing, hand on hers. In this space, it was only him and only her.
The heart and the heartless.
"I don’t want to be in this light..."
Her eyes found his and he looked back, into shadowed orbs clouded from struggling for far too long and would continue to do so until she was no more. That was the way of the world, persistent and hurtful for no reason at all.
Time heals all wounds, but some wounds are blind to time, stagnant and frozen.
"I don't know the difference between pretending and not pretending anymore," she whispered, so quietly that he had to strain to hear.
He finally spoke, squeezing that thin hand gently.
"In some ways, they're the same thing for you, aren't they?"
She looked at him for a long, long time.
He lifted his hand from hers and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.
“You are with me,” he murmured. “And with me, you can be anything.”
This face hid behind smoke and mirrors. This face didn’t trust the world and trusted their own reflection even less. The world could pretend to know, but the reality was the depth of the scars was much deeper than anyone could ever fathom and this mind was unlike anyone else’s, too creative for its own good, producing new and intricate tortures for the one that lived within it. Only here, in this space, did he have a glimpse. Even then, he wasn’t sure he would ever see all of it, because that wasn’t necessary and because some shadows should stay in the dark where they belong.
"I can't be like them, Yoongi."
Min Yoongi shook his head.
"They're ordinary. You're special."
"I'm not."
"You know you are, otherwise no one would find solace in knowing you exist."
He held her face in his hands.
"Nameless, faceless, and yet... they flock to the safety of you."
He leaned forward, forehead to forehead.
"Who else can say that? No one. Not even me. Everyone knows my face now."
Into dark, dark eyes full of pain, reaching in, shouldering the weight so it was a little lighter, a little less heavy. He didn’t need to know the reason for the weight. It was there, and so he assisted.
"They'll never know the one I know."
A little despair, a little helplessness, all her.
"I'll never know the one you know."
He kissed her, softly, whispering her name and his love.
“If you think you can’t feel, then I will feel for you. If you ever feel like you don’t have a heart, know that I will be yours. Trust me.”
“Can I?” she breathed against his lips, eyes closed, lost in his taste.
Yoongi chuckled, running his hands through her hair, breathing in the scent of sweet matcha marshmallow, deeper, richer, warmer now that it was soaked into her skin, smooth and soft under his fingertips. She was like that. Everything she touched became more vivid, more alive, more real, even if it was only a fantasy.
“Of course. You are with me.”
He pulled her into his hold, into his lap, both of them still on the floor, cradling her at her lows so he could raise her at her highs.
“However long you need, one day, one week, one month, a year, until the end of time… I will be whatever role you need me to be. Obsession, possession, enemy, protector, muse, lover, one of them or all of them,” he murmured softly, lips on her temple, hand on the left side of her ribcage, cradling that rapid rhythm under his fingertips.
It was easy to say, don’t think about anyone else, but much harder to do so, and thus he didn’t say it. There was no need to. She already knew. That’s why she had retreated in the first place, retreated to the safety of his heart and blocked out the outside world.
“They are but visitors and they should be grateful to visit.”
Her fingers twisted into his shirt, clutching the fabric tightly.
“But I am, can, and will be everything you need, if you let me.”
She spoke into his neck, her hot breath wafting over his skin.
“You already are, Yoongi. You already are.”
They stayed like that, for a long, long time.
-
headspace!JK - reader's POV
You opened your bedroom door to find Jeon Jungkook laying on your bed.
His dark brown eyes shifted to you.
You looked away and closed the door.
“Where have you been?”
Every time. Every time you heard his smooth, silvery voice, you were reminded of home, even if he wasn’t always here. Then again, home was never a place to you. Like a permanent resident, Jungkook always managed to find his way to your bed and you, well, you resided with his voice.
“Who knows,” was your answer.
Because, in truth, you didn’t know.
Jungkook tilted his head, pink lips slightly parted. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He sat up, watching you, black strands brushing against his dark brows. There was a slight furrow to them, somewhere between disbelief and inquisition. White t-shirt, blue jeans. He hadn’t been here long, otherwise he would have given up on the jeans. His eyes followed you, resting his right arm on his knee, black tattoos standing out against the light wash of the jeans and white-shirt, tan skin the perfect background for them. With the red eyeball tattoo, perhaps it was more accurate to say that three eyes were observing you.
You stood beside the bed but didn’t get on it.
Jungkook let out a soft sigh, the side of his lips quirking up ruefully. “If I was hyung, I would say the right words.” He frowned slightly, chewing on his lower lip, tiny mole underneath flashing into view, a soft kiss from the moon, perfectly placed in the middle. “He always knows what to say.”
You could almost hear that gentle, deep voice murmuring to you, hand on your chest, right above the rapid rhythm below his palm.
You always say it’s nothing when it’s something you know no one will understand.
Jungkook placed his chin on the back of his hand and looked up, catching your eye and pulling you from your thoughts with his voice.
“I don’t know what to say, but I can make you feel.”
You looked back, but still didn’t get on the bed.
“You cut your hair.” It was to his ears now, still black, just shorter.
“Mhm.” He smiled. “Do you not like it?”
You chuckled dryly. “You could be bald, Jungkook, and you would still look good.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “Someday I’ll show up like that and then I’ll know if you’re telling the truth.”
You didn’t laugh or banter back, settling into silence instead. He noticed right away. His features softened and he raised his other hand to beckon you to him.
You didn’t move.
His lips formed to the words and you could tell he meant them because he maintained eye contact, not letting you avoid his gaze.
“I missed you.”
Where have you been?
You placed your hands on the bed, fingers spread, silver rings glinting in the light, lighting each and every one, all except your left pinky. You still hadn’t found the perfect one for that one yet. The three silver necklaces you wore clinked together as you crawled to Jeon Jungkook, mind full of thoughts that fell away one by one, replaced by the sight, sound, smell of Jungkook, tongue remembering his taste, skin prickling, remembering his touch.
“I could have distracted you,” he whispered, leaning forward.
“I wasn’t the best version of myself,” you whispered back, the dull ache of intangible weight pressing down on your ribcage. “I couldn’t see you like that.”
He lifted his right hand from his knee and reached around your head, burying his fingers in your hair, pulling you closer to that face and those eyes, sharp and defined with an endearing softness, lashes lowering, inhaling your scent, lustful satisfaction clouding his gaze as he once again recognized that you had changed it from that spiced, warm chestnut to a heady matcha marshmallow.
“You know,” Jungkook breathed, tugging you to him, his lips brushing against yours. “I am here for all versions of you, good or bad, sad or mad, fallen apart or all in one piece.”
His teeth nipped your lips and your breath caught your throat, knowing he was making you wait, curling his fingers in your hair to hold your head in place.
In this space, with him.
“If your head is full of me, there’s no space for the other thoughts.”
“That’s not how it works, Jungkook.”
“That’s how I want it to work.”
His lips captured yours, firm, intense, hand pulling you to him and his hard body, surrounding you in his embrace, your gasp in his mouth as he pressed you to his chest, pinning you down, forearms flexing against the small of your back, your hands coming up to steady yourself on his shoulders, digging your nails into the thin fabric of the t-shirt. You shivered in his hold, eyes opening slightly, not realizing they had closed, and his were open too, filtered by his lashes.
“I don’t want to go back out there,” you said, so softly that the words didn’t seem real.
“Then don’t,” Jungkook whispered. “Stay with me.”
“You’re not good for me.”
“They’re worse.”
He spread his legs and put you in his lap. You could feel the texture of his jeans through the thin fabric of your pajama shorts, thighs on top of his, softness to hardness. His fingers traced the lapel of your pajama shirt and the red piping, smiling at the print, little red devil heads making various faces against the black jersey fabric.
“You’re insufferable.”
The small smile lifted and now it was yours, turning into a smirk. “Yeah, but you love me.”
You stared into those eyes, that face, trapped in his arms, his body, his voice, his sound, everything just Jeon Jungkook, and the hesitation remained. You felt his hand shift, raising, fingertips brushing your cheek, sending shivers up your neck and to his electric touch.
“I couldn’t come back because it didn’t feel right.”
His hand lowered, cradling the side of your neck, thumb stroking your jaw.
“What about now?” Jungkook asked, silvery and sweet.
You told the truth, because the truth was eating away at you.
“I don’t know.”
He turned his head and leaned in, inhaling your exhale, eyes closing.
“I’ll help you know.”
His kiss.
I want to be your everything.
He made you memorize the shape of his lips, made you memorize the weight of his hands, made you memorize the curve of his shoulders and chest, pushing you down on the bed, your hands sliding down and pressed to his chest, palm to his heavy heartbeat, hungry kisses and fleeting tongue teasing you, the lower half of his body pinning yours down. Heavy. Inescapable. You tried to move away to speak but he caught your lips, pulling your back, his left hand peeling your right off his heart and interlocking his fingers with yours, slamming it down on the sheets, his right snaking in between your bodies, undoing the buttons one by one. You cried out into his mouth and he lifted his head, black hair messy, breathing hard.
“J-Jungkook…”
His lips were dark, swollen from kissing you so fiercely, irises shadowed and pupils expanded.
“This is how it should be, with you saying my name like that.”
You glared at him, but he simply chuckled, diving back down again, lips attacking your neck, kisses and bites that made your breath hitch, clutching fistfuls of his shirt, and it didn’t matter, it simply didn’t matter anymore, too many outside thoughts when you could just have Jungkook invading your head, clawing the hem of his shirt upward, digging your nails into his back and his soft skin, his moans on yours, tongue dancing up your trembling throat, biting that space right behind your right ear, your pulse roaring under his lips and your name in his throat, no distractions., only Jungkook.
“My mark belongs all over you,” he growled possessively.
Your nails dragged down his broad back and his hips bucked into yours, his oppressive force and weight a welcome one. You didn’t respond. A single dark brown orb watched your face, smirk against your earlobe. No response needed because Jungkook could see it in your expression and the way you held him, violent but desperate, needing him more than anyone or anything else in this world right now.
“Someday,” he murmured teasingly.
“In your dreams,” you shot back, finding your voice.
“They’re all about you.”
He sat up, thighs straddling you, crossing his arms and pulling up his white t-shirt in one swift stroke, tossing it aside. His lips curved into a sly smile, seeing you bite your lip and narrow your eyes to hide your breathlessness at his muscular and toned torso, the black tattoos of his right arm rippling as he leaned down again, his large hands next to your head, smirk dancing above your face.
“Just like how yours are all about me.”
You didn’t look away. “They’re not.”
Neither did he. “They will be.”
You clicked your tongue.
Unfazed, unbothered, unwise, you pulled Jungkook down to you, closing your eyes, his fresh scent filling your nose, lips on your skin, murmuring, so sweet, so delicious, kissing your collarbones, pushing your shirt off and reaching around you, forcing you to yank your pajama shirt off to avoid getting tangled in it and your unhooked bra, already moving on, lips wrapping around your hard nipple and you felt his eyes on you, opening yours to see his smirk and his tongue flicker, pulses of desire clawing through you, all because of Jungkook.
“What?” you managed to get out, sucking in a breath as his hand came up, fingertips pushing the other hard nub, watching your expression with his tongue extended.
“You belong under me, like this, enjoying everything I do to you,” he murmured, lapping slowly, not enough but still too much with the visual included.
“S… Stop looking at me like that.”
He shook his head slowly, your name falling from his lips, black hair brushing over his brows. You stiffened as his hand slid under the waistband of your shorts, under the thin fabric of your panties, long fingers dancing closer and closer to your heated, dripping core.
“If I look away, you might disappear from me again.”
You were lost, lost in the feeling of Jeon Jungkook.
Brown eyes ensnaring you, drowning your senses with his sensations.
“I can’t have that.”
His lips wrapping around your nipple again, deft fingers slipping inside your pussy, moan drifting from your lips as you raised your hips, shorts and panties sliding down, but Jungkook was already moving, plunging his fingers in fast and rough, sucking hard, tongue teasing the hard tip, other arm wrapped around you and free hand splayed in the small of your back, locking you in his space.
“Fuck, Jungkook, fuck…”
Your walls clenched around his fingers, his chuckle vibrating through your nipple, faster, harder, so easy because you were so wet and he was so close, one hand in his hair and the other clutching the sheets, back arching, muscles pulled taut in his touch, thighs unable to close because his own were holding them open, fingers tightening in his short black hair, nails digging into his scalp, breathing hard, not letting him have his favorite sounds, so Jungkook increased the pace, his own fingernails clawing at your back, and your eyelids fluttered, jaw clenching, moan torn from your throat.
“A-ah, Jungkook…”
And it all crashed down, fierce blossoming pleasure overtaking your veins, pitch hiking as his fingers stilled and his thumb pressed to your clit, fuck, don’t, but he did, he did because you pulled him even closer, chest to chest, his triumphant pants against your neck, hand sliding up your back, pushing your head down, taking your lips and your scream as you came again, all over his hand, tight pulsating walls clenching around his fingers, the scent of sex painting the air and his palm, covering him with you.
“Fuck…!”
You broke the kiss, hand wrapping around his forearm, squeezing hard, taut muscle pushing you back, tattoos peeking out from beneath your fingertips, staring into his eyes, time stopping, slow circles on your most sensitive spot, his blown-out pupils reflecting yours, skin to skin, heart racing against his.
“What?” Jungkook panted. “Tell me.”
His brown orbs searching your face, shrouded by lashes, desire so obvious that it was tangible and palpable.
“Want you.”
His lips curved into a smug smile.
“Yeah? Say it again.”
Your hands left his hair and his arm, reaching between your bodies, still gazing into his eyes.
“Want you, Jungkook. Want you to fuck me.”
His forehead touched yours as the button came undone, his hair sticking to your face, both sweaty from the intensity.
“I really missed you more than the words,” he mumbled against your cheek, helping you push his pants down, skin to hot skin, kicking them off the bed.
“Mhm.”
“I’m not lying.”
“I’m not an idiot, Jungkook.”
“You are if you don’t believe me.”
You stilled, holding the condom out and Jungkook took it from you, ripping it open, cocking an eyebrow defiantly as he rolled it down his hard length, nudging your thighs.
“You… You’re just here to annoy me.”
Your eyes shifted away and you felt him pick up your legs, pushing them up, hooking them over his shoulders. One of his hands cupped your chin and tugged you back to face him, not letting you avoid his gaze.
“We both know that’s not true,” he said softly.
You gasped sharply as he gripped your chin, holding you in place as he slid in, setting his jaw at your tightness, both of you shuddering at the feeling of your pussy surrounding his cock, feeling it swell inside you and get harder, stretching you out, his determination nearing as he leaned down, bending you in half, hand leaving your chin and pressing his palms flat against your sheets, breathing hard as he shoved himself the rest of the way in, a little pain but so much pleasure, soft thighs against his hard torso, your breath mixing with his, hot and heavy and sweet despite how firmly he had you pinned down.
“I want your head full of me,” Jungkook sighed, slowly rolling his hips into you, making you gasp. “You’ll never have a bad thought if I’m occupying that space.”
“Fuck, you can’t… ah, that’s not how it w-works, Jungkook…”
He was using his weight to drive his thrust, powerful and intense, ramming his hips into you, your juices leaking out and sticking to his crotch, the inside of your joined thighs slick and wet, loud slaps echoing throughout the bedroom, stiff length so hard you could feel it twitch inside your pussy, hitting you as deep and as rough as you liked, probably too much for the normal person, but not you, because you wanted to feel it all, wanted Jungkook to really fuck you and not be gentle about it, grabbing his hair and smacking your hips up to meet his, making you both moan loudly, names mixing with the visceral sounds of sex.
“I’ll just keep fucking you then,” Jungkook hissed. “Keep fucking you and make you feel so good that nothing else matters, nothing except how good I can make you feel.”
You looked up, your silver rings glinting in his black hair, your silver necklaces cutting into your neck and the three coin-shaped pendants jingling and clinking in rhythm with the mattress bouncing under your bodies, pressure and pleasure building inside your core, struggling to breathe as you glanced down and watched him enter and reenter, thick cock slick and hard before disappearing inside you.
“A-Ah…”
Back to his eyes, nearly black from arousal, groaning as you came around him, throbbing walls squeezing his entire length, feeling it all with every pulse.
“You’re gonna have to f-fuck me harder… than t-this…”
He smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You got it.”
You threw your head back at the first smack, clutching his head, feeling it all over, pleasure like rushing fire, eating up all your nerves and replacing it with sound and touch, the swift squelch of his length plunging into you, the feeling of him filling you up and taking your breath away, so good you could barely breathe, so good you could barely think, nothing but the feel of Jungkook towering over you and slamming down into you so you could thrust your hips up to meet him, so close, so close, heavy exhales blending together, skin and nerves prickling, humming with ecstasy, feeling so good you could only moan his name, and he groaned yours, right in your face, edge of desperation in his normally controlled, deep voice..
“Cum, yes, cum for me – fuck!”
And it all crashed down, fierce fire rocketing through you and hitting its peak, gasping as you smacked your hips up and clenched all around his cock in rapid throbs, his moan washing over you, jerking and flinching as he came in strong jolts, rutting his hips into yours to feel it all, shifting the head inside you so your muscles massaged him all over and drained his orgasm out.
“Jungkook… fuck…”
He lifted his arms and lowered your legs, hands coming up to hold your face, tipping your lips up to him, kissing them deeply.
“You don’t understand,” he mumbled, staring at you through his lashes. “It hurts when you don’t come to me.”
He kissed you again and again, your words wisping out between them.
“I…”
Feeling sorry there wasn’t another way.
“I have to get through it myself… It wasn’t you… You didn’t do anything…”
Jungkook collected you in his embrace, breath becoming one with yours.
“Yeah, but I can do something, so I need you to give me the chance.”
His eyes were telling you, you don’t have to go back out there. Stay. Stay with me, in this bedroom, in this space, just you and me. Your hand was against his temple, silver rings against his silver brow piercing, tracing his sharp features, feeling airless as you looked into those dark brown orbs and listened to his voice that seemed to be a permanent resident of your thoughts.
“Keep me with you, always.”
--
masterpost
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badwithten · 3 years
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〉yuta x fem!reader
〉word count 1.1k
〉warnings vaping, drinking
〉from my 500 follower event
〉for @fruityutas​ ok so i was excited to write this but then actually writing it i dont think i did a great job? the concept is better than the drabble tbh. i still would love to hear what you think of it though + im super excited to read yours if you’re still going to do a rockstar!yuta au
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The wolf whistle thrown in your direction immediately made you tense up, with cautious eyes you turned to see who it was from. But right away you relaxed, releasing the tension as you were meet with the smile of your boyfriend.
“Don’t do that” You gave him a light punch in his shoulder, smiling regardless as he tugged you in for a hug. “You scared me”
“Sorry baby” He still holds onto you as you lean back, tugging on his arms to pull him forward. “I didn’t mean to” A soft kiss is placed on your nose before he gives you a light kiss on your lips, leaving you following him for more but he pulls away. Still holding onto one of your hands as he leads you out of campus and into town.
Your warm hands are a harsh contrast compared to his cold rings, in fact, your whole demeanour is the opposite of his. His bleached and shaved hair, ripped clothing, pierced and inked body. It was a tough look, one that often got him in trouble with his family or even got him a beating or two. Not that he didn’t love the attention. But you hated cleaning up his bloody lips and kissing his bruises.
But that didn’t change your love for him. He was soft to you, treating you like you were glass. People had warned against him, but after hearing his band play at a local bar, you were intrigued. Never once had he hurt you, broken your heart or made you cry. He was good to you.
You stayed by his side as you made your way to the familiar building of Taeils apartment. It wasn’t long till said member was opening the gates for you two to enter. Greeting you with his lovely smile and scream laugh as he always did.
“You made your boyfriend late again” He joked as he patted both of your shoulders but you could tell there was some realness behind it.
“I guess I’m more important than ‘Superhuman’ then, aren’t I?” You could see the pain through his smile as he opened the door into his apartment for you. Once again you were bombarded with smiles while you felt Yuta leave your side.
“Yo,” Mark called from the couch, a cloud of smoke blocking him from your sight.
“Mark” You smiled and joined him, the end of his guitar leaning over your lap. He flapped the vape away to give you a proper hello and you both discussed the latest lecture of your psyche class.
“Boring” But it didn’t last long as Johnny came and sat on the coffee table, across from the two of you. “Do you guys talk about anything else?”
“Damn someones a salty college drop out” Yuta was quick to defend you, nudging in between you and Mark despite the little room left on the couch. His cup was filled with some sort of vile liquid that you didn’t want to question but he downed it quickly. “Where is Sicheng anyway? I can’t believe I wasn’t the last to arrive”
“I know it’s a miracle. But if Sicheng doesn’t hurry up, I’m going to lose my mind. I cannot have Mark and Johnny in here any longer” Taeil was the last to join you four, taking his seat on a nearby beanbag.
“Hey, what is that supposed to me?” Johnny and Mark spoke almost in unison. It wasn’t long until the bickering started and reminded you of how special these boys are to you. It was never quiet around them, either one of their mouths was running off or the loud noises of their instruments creating music. But it was nice, you were able to sit comfortably in silence next to Yuta, playing with his picked fingers.
The conversation is interrupted as a flushed Sicheng finally busts into the cramped apartment, out of breath and hair a mess. He struggles to hold papers and bags in his hand as he walks in and dumps them on the nearest surface. He’s quick to get a telling off from Taeil, which you don’t know if he deserves considering the state of the rest of his apartment. But Sicheng quickly brings the attention back to something more important.
“But guys! It arrived today, he finished it, on time surprisingly ”
“I’m glad something was on time today” Yuta groans as he stands up to look at whatever Sicheng is talking about. You join, still attached by the hand. You can’t tell what it is, a large disk wrapped in newspaper, but the boys seem excited.
“Let’s put it on before we start” Johnny suggests as you all make it down the hall into the room Taeil had dedicated for practice. A large set up of speakers, instruments and microphones decorated the room. A mess really, but it all felt correct and in place. You were quick to ditch Yuta and sit on the old Lazyboy in the corner. Watching as they all crowded around the drum kit. Sicheng had flipped it over and began unscrewing but your view was disrupted by Mark and his guitar still in hand. It wasn’t until they all stepped back and placed the drums in place that you saw what it was.
A new drum front, instead of the worn-down white of the previous one, had the bands logo and name printed on it. ‘Superhuman’, the paint dripping down, messy scribbles surrounding. But it was perfect. It represented them. This felt like the stepping stone to something bigger for them and you couldn’t help but be happy for them. Be happy for Yuta.
With new energy in their step, they all set up their equipment, Sicheng making himself comfortable behind the drums, Mark and Johnny tunning their guitar, Yuta plugging in his bass and Taeil setting up the microphone.
Their music shook the room, you were sure Taeil’s neighbours must have hated him. But his voice was heavenly, soft contrasts compared to their rough music. You couldn’t help but keep your eyes focused on Yuta. His beanie had been lost somewhere, hair sticking to his sweaty forward, tongue pushed out in concentration as he danced in place, swinging his body with his bass. You could feel their music in your chest, rocking your entire body with the message of it all. You knew one day they were going to blow up. Move out and stop recording songs in their friend’s apartment and instead, a proper studio. Perform at sold-out shows and not just local bars. And you were happy to know that you would still be by Yutas side at the end of it all.
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leapyearkisses · 3 years
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For the director's cut: Could you do Nice Work If You Can Get It? (Eliseo/Padgett)
That fic... Changed me. I'll never forget it TBH.
Yes, I'd be happy to! This one was really fun to write, and it was the beginning of two OCs I am very fond of now (and who I am happy to know made an impression on quite a few people!).
(If anyone enjoys this director's cut thing and wants to see one for another of my stories, ask away. I had a lot of fun!)
Commentary in bold below the cut! NSFW, mess, deliberately sneezing on people, m/m
This story started from a prompt about one character hiring someone to get them sick. An intriguing idea!! But it was one I actually struggled with finding a groove for when I started out. I actually started a few different scenarios with different character dynamics before I figured this one out. I have a 2600-word WIP of a different version of this in my "unfinished" folder.
"All right... close your eyes." Eliseo swallowed and did so, blocking out his bedroom, the red-gold sunset light pouring in from the windows, and Padgett, who was straddling his hips. He could still hear, quite easily, the other man's labored breathing and feel the heat of his thighs... and his crotch. Eliseo was under no illusion that he was in an incredibly compromising position at the moment. He hadn't thought much about the.. particulars when he'd first decided to strike this deal. "Are we really doing this?" he asked, voice weak.
I can't really write fetish porn without including actual porn lol, so from the beginning it was sexy even without the snz. In this version, the POV character is Eliseo, who is the "naive" character in a way. I pretty much write pairs where one character has the fetish and their partner does not but is indulgent. The one with the fetish is usually embarrassed about it or somehow naively realizing they like this weird-ass thing. Padgett laughed, voice tumbled and edging on hoarse. "Hey now. Not getting cold feet are we, my lord?" His exhale ghosted over Eliseo's forehead and his tousled black hair touched Eliseo's cheek.
Padgett is the confident character, and he brought the humor to this scenario! Eliseo cleared his throat. "No..." He could imagine the other man's smug look. They'd known each other long enough now that the image rose unbidden to his mind's eye. Padgett's eyes always glittered like opals when he was scheming something. Padgett surprised him with a tender touch on the shoulder, and he almost opened his eyes again. "The safe word is 'pumpernickel,'" he said, managing not to chuckle. "We can stop whenever you want... Hhk-" He fought off a gasp. "Decide hh quickly, though." Eliseo shivered. "I'm okay. Let's do it." He didn't want to admit it, but Padgett's reassurance did put him at ease, even if this had been his idea. He relaxed and tried to lose himself in the late afternoon heat. "Yehh-s, my lord." Padgett leaned forward and took a shaky breath. It stuttered and caught on invisible hooks, sounding at once to be full of potential and then gone again, like a ghost at the window. Eliseo could feel his body tightening again with anticipation, especially when Padgett gasped and leaned back. "Hh-... hah--
"A ghost in the window" eehhh this is kind of overworked. I like to write descriptively even when it isn't necessary. "Huh-ktschht!" A warm rush of air burst in Eliseo's face, almost immediately followed by a watery spray over his forehead, closed eyes, and nose. His instant reaction was to curl back, or try to, and he had his hands braced on Padgett's chest before he could think about it.
I had never written anything quite this scandalous as it were. There hadn't been a lot of snzfic I had read where there was direct, purposeful contagion like this or quite so much mess description directly on the skin, the face even. So I was sweating while writing this lol. "Hey now," said Padgett, delayed by a sniffle. His tone was light. "Easy. You specified this in the contract, remember?" He rested his hands lightly on Eliseo's wrists. "How are you feeling about it?"
CONSENT IS THE SEXIEST THING. We get this instinctual edge of revulsion from Eliseo because he has not acknowledged to himself that he likes snz yet and also he has never allowed anyone to do this to him before because why would anyone do this? Eliseo found he was holding his breath, but- Well, that would defeat the purpose of this exercise. He cautiously let it go and then opened his eyes. Padgett was gazing down at him, looking neither smug nor concerned, just curious. "I- this was on instinct," Eliseo murmured. After a beat, he lowered his hands, and Padgett let him go easily. "Yes, I imagine so. It's natural." Padgett smiled then, and then his expression crinkled. "Wh- hh- want to do it again? Hkt-- hhh..." Eliseo forced himself to surrender again to his pillows. "Yes." Again, he closed his eyes. Padgett shifted forward on his lap and oh- but then he was sneezing one more. "Huh- hktsschit!" Again, the spray. This time it dusted over Eliseo's nose and mouth. He fought to keep from thinning his lips and... took a deeper breath. Padgett hadn't moved, was still fighting with his own lungs, reeling in another insistent sneeze like a stubborn trout. "Huh- hh... hh hh huh-" He made an annoyed sound. "Hah-- hah-krttschtts!" Eliseo felt droplets of saliva decorate his cheekbone. Padgett sniffled thickly.
I think artists often point out how funny it is that when they're drawing they mimic the face of the character. I do this with sneeze sounds (IF I'M ALONE). I tend to like softer sounds for my characters, so a lot of sibilance creeps in. "...Bless you," Eliseo murmured. He was feeling hot. Maybe it was Padgett on top of him. The man was running a fever. "You are... doing the job admirably." That earned him a laugh. Padgett shifted his weight to his heels, which did interesting things to his cock's relation to Eliseo's own. "Thanks, I guess? I never would have thought anyone would be hiring for this, much less you." "Circumstances are dire," Eliseo intoned without a hint of irony.
Eliseo is a card. I love him. Of the two of them he is much more my preferred "type." He is similar to my mage character Llewellyn but less fussy. "Mmhm." Padgett sniffled again. "You must really hate weddings. Couldn't you have just gone on a hunt or something this weekend instead?" Eliseo sighed. "No. My sister would do anything to ruin my plans if I tried to avoid the party any normal way. But luckily, she's terrified of germs. I think a miserable head cold will be the ticket." Like hell he wanted to sit through another of his sister's weddings. Every time it was some new, world-changing drama. He wasn't even sure whether the groom this time was noble born. No doubt the reception gossip would be scathing. What absolute drivel.
There's a little "my lord" up there before, but this is kind of where the setting is characterized - Eliseo is a noble and this is a time and place where nobility matters. However, it's also anachronistic, because germ theory is a thing. They're kind of in a pseudo Regency/Victorian world where I just write whatever feels like the most fun. "Lucky also that you have me around, hm?" Padgett's next chuckle turned into a bit of a cough. Eliseo patted his knee awkwardly. "I- well, yes. Very. But believe me when I say that I would not wish for you to be so stricken if I had the power to stop it."
People with shitty immune systems are my jam. Even if it's really unlikely, I love it. Sometimes especially if it's unlikely. Like mister high elf Llewellyn, or if they're a god or angel or something. Or in a world where if you had that bad of an immune system you probably would have died of diphtheria or pneumonia by now. "Of course, my lord." Padgett rubbed his nose. And though his breath hitched a few times in the following moments, he stayed where he was. Eliseo blinked. "Are we...?" Done? He didn't really think the exposure had been long enough. "I am ready." Padgett blushed a little. Blushed? "Sorry," he said. "I can kind of feel that, uh, the uh, next ones are going to be kind of... wet. I could blow my nose." His voice trailed off, wavering again. His nostrils twitched, and Eliseo did see within the promise of moisture. Perhaps it was the taboo of it, but Eliseo was alerted instantly to a sudden thickening of his cock. It pressed at his trousers with some gusto as Padgett sniffled again. Eliseo swallowed. "No. No, this is good. This will... help."
After consent, MESS is the sexiest thing. That's just how it goes. I don't make the rules. Padgett gave him a considering look, at least as well as he could between soft gasps and squinting against the itch in his nose. "If you're sure, my lord." "Just- call me Eli, like you used to," said Eliseo, stumbling over the words. He wasn't sure where they had come from, but now they were bare between them. Still, perhaps a bit of affection wasn't so odd compared to what they were already doing. Eliseo closed his eyes on Padgett's startled look.
I wasn't sure where this came from either. But suddenly they were in love and I was cool with it. Eli btw is pronounced like the name (Ee-lye) but Eliseo is pronounced Ell-ee-zay-oh in my mind. It's of Latin origin and means "God is my salvation" according to that authority Babynames.com lol. Padgett means "attendant" so that was chosen partially because he's Eliseo's employee but also because Padgett is just a SUPER English-sounding name. I really enjoy looking up name meanings and representing different traditions in my characters. I tried to give Eliseo's family members Latin names, too, although they're not mentioned here. "Eli," Padgett said, and he sounded like he'd just come home from a long war to find the hearth kept warm for him. "I will." He leaned forward again, bracing himself. "Now, I'm going to- to hih-- to snhhsneeze, hah-- haktschtsch! Hrh- Hnkgstschhiu! More spray this time, more wetness, and Eliseo gasped himself when he felt a thick drip against his chin. Padgett hadn't moved. When Eliseo tentatively looked up, he saw his friend caught in a limbo of urgency. His green eyes were shut, eyelashes fluttering. His nostrils, gently pink now, flared. A clear trail hung from one of them, quivering as Padgett panted. He looked wild and fever bright and teetering on a precipice. Eliseo ignored what it might mean that Padgett's desperate expression, his wet nose - even the mess - suddenly went to his cock. He was hard, looking up at a portrait of a sneeze.
Sometimes you just have to stop writing for a second and drink some cold water or something. Carefully, he placed a hand on Padgett's thigh. "It's okay," he said, words coming of their own accord. "I've got you." Padgett's fingers tightened fitfully in the sheet as he shifted his weight again. He was making soft, irritated noises. His nostrils flared and Eliseo saw another drip lying in wait on the cusp.
Fingers tightening fitfully in a sheet is a thing I love to describe. If you binge-read everything I've written, you will find that I write snz and sex in a very particular way over and over. Because that's what I like! And I'm super glad readers like it as well! But I can basically only find the motivation to write what I enjoy (when I write at all... .__.), which is why I only write m/m or nb characters and such. When the urge became too much, it was like watching a wave finally crash down. Padgett's breath caught; he tensed and leaned back. Eliseo hurriedly closed his eyes again, and none too soon. "Hhhhrektschuckh!" He felt the mess streak his face, fly to spatter his mouth and nose and chin. Padgett moaned and then gasped again, chest swelling with air.
SCANDALOUS "Hah- Huhrttschuh! Hshtt! Hah- hsshtt!" Again, he teetered, teasing the air with shivering gasps. Then, he abruptly folded with a crush of vowels and congestion. "Hggtschiucht!" A baptism, pondered Eliseo's brain as it detached from reality momentarily. Pinned as he was to the bed by Padgett's sex, he couldn't move when he felt himself coming just as abruptly as the sneeze. Somehow the slick wash had become a mounting sense of urgency in each of his muscles, racing from his fingertips and toes to his abdomen, where, quite unbidden, his cock had tugged all that energy into a gut-wrenching orgasm that sent the shockwaves back out with renewed vigor. Padgett whined, and Eliseo took him firmly by the shoulders and drew him in for a messy, off-putting, contagious, blindingly good kiss. "Wow," said Padgett, when they finally broke for air.
Wow, lol. I have a great imagination. I wish I could make myself write more often. "Don't ask me why," Eliseo muttered, but he refused to be made a fool of by embarrassment. "C- come here." He shifted to sit up further and put his hands on Padgett's hips. "I want-" He wanted. "This. Yes?" Before he could stop himself, he swept his tongue over Padgett's mouth, under his nose, to rest at the edge of a nostril. He tasted salt. It was not entirely pleasant, but whatever pilot was captaining his body right now didn't care. He could still feel his cock pulsing against his trousers.
Also the first time I wrote anything like this, but Eliseo was like go big or go home, so. Padgett moaned. "It feels... odd. But, my lord, you can do what you- I mean, Eli." He was breathless for different reasons now. Eliseo laved the tender skin above Padgett's lips, then licked up his septum. When Padgett shivered, Eliseo kissed him again. Slowly, he cleaned away the mess from Padgett's face. When he was finished, neither of them knew what to say. Eliseo was hard again.
Huahaha Eliseo can have an unrealistic refractory period. I don't really give a shit how accurate this stuff is when it would get in the way of the enjoyment. Not to the point where people are just going in without lube or something crazy like that, but being willing and able to go again is just sexy, so that's fine. Finally, Padgett laughed shyly. "I think you'll be catching your cold, Eli." Eliseo blushed and shrugged. "I should hope so. I am-" He bit his lip. "I'm not ready to stop. Will you stay the night? I'll look after you." Padgett kissed him, tenderly drawing them together. "I would like that, very much."
And then they DEFINITELY banged. I hadn't conceptualized their specific history together at this point, but Eliseo and Padgett were FWB while younger, so the "surprise" at meeting again like this in a sexy fashion is more like "Oh, are we doing this now, as adults with drastically different social standing?" and less "Hey, are you into me??"
I got more than one request to write the direct sequel to this, but I dunno. I usually prefer one character in the pair to be the one who is sneezing, and writing Eliseo sick isn't as fun. Partially because I'm much, MUCH more interested in the shy/embarrassed/"voyeur" dynamic, so someone who gets off on their own sneezes really does nothing for me. I do have a WIP of Eliseo sick that is a direct sequel to Carriage Shenanigans, but I have no idea if it will ever get finished.
Thanks so much for the request for this very fun exercise!
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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years
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I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!
Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂
So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊
The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.
I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.
I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.
The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.
I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.
Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.
I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.
I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).
Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.
I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.
Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.
The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL
The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."
I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.
The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:
I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.
Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL
The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.
The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.
I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL
Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.
Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)
Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.
Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL
Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."
I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.
The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.
And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲
Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️
Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut
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hwangdol · 5 years
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n.jm: where were you?
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summary: y/n does not know what the fuck is going on half of the time. 
pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader
warning: a lot of cursing, drug usage reference, crackheadness, maybe a lot of grammer error. this is my first bullet-scenario au so yeah. also! this a collab with the lovely @huangsren in out nct dreamies alternate universe teehee. she has a lovely, fluffy renjun one up so go read it!
part two!
you okay let’s get this collab with @huangsren 
so at NCT High if you don't know Na Jaemin who the hell are you? like everyone knows this kid from lunch ladies to the freaking janitors 
its not a surprise since the dude is literally dead drop gorgeous and has a shit ton of social skills. like the boy deadass can swindle his way out of detention (which he did) with just a wink 
typical fboi but instead of it being a huge turn-off, girls still throw themselves on him even when he WARNS them beforehand that he isn't looking for a serious thing
still, they get attached and heartbroken when he tells them “this isn’t working out” 
his friends (aka art-hoe!renjun and student-athlete!jeno) always rolls their eyes when jaemin rolls up into the lunchroom with his arms wrapped around a new girl’s shoulder
“bet she’s not going to last two weeks”- renjun slapping down a 10$ 
“knowing him, this isn’t going to last more than a week”- jeno said but still sliding over a 10$ bill 
AND SUPRISE it doesn’t 
both renjun and jeno don’t approve of his philandering, but they stick w jaemin cause he’s still their best bud cause bros before hoes ya know what i mean?
this is especially true with jeno cause they’ve been bffl since they were like five but that doesn’t mean that jaemin is anything like jeno. 
nah man they both are the complete opposite of each other
like jeno is a quiet reserved student-athlete boi but jaemin out here acting like a little thotty 
nomin is like a package deal, no one can separate them
here where out little y/n comes in
surprisingly you’re childhood friends w nomin 
both u and jeno are neighbors and your families have been friends since before you were even conceived 
your moms’ have weekly tea times where they’d gossip about everything and anything while your dads would be watching the weekly soccer/football games drinking a cold one 
you and jeno would be playing with some legos or barbies 
jeno had a minor (major) barbie obsession which was probably induced by you
don’t tell anyone but jeno still binge-watches barbie movies;;;his favorite really be the princess charm school one 
like i said nomin is a package deal so expect jaemin to be taging along to yours and jeno’s weekly playdate
imagine you being the princess while jaemin pretended to be the prince and jeno was the dragon,,,yeah man it was so lit 
this isn’t a jeno fic btw keep in mind its still jaemin 
all of that stuff before was when the three of you were like kids
once highschool came around all three of you found ur niches: jeno was the student-athlete, jaemin was well that guy that was wanted by all the girls
and you were just a regular mundane student ya know,,,you weren’t extremely talented nor smart you just floated around 
u still hung around jeno tho but your friendship was really lowkey 
like both of y'all would wait until the other one was completely alone or do some ridiculous actions to deliver the simplest messages 
jeno would look both ways before slipping you a note in class that said “can your mom drive me home today?” and you would make sure no one was looking before nodding secretly 
or the two of you would hide behind bushes to say that y'all parents wanted to have dinner together tonight 
tbh yall could just text each other but where’s the fUN in that? 
jaemin, on the other hand, was someone you haven’t a solid conversation with since sophomore year bc of an incident 
basically, you had helped one of your friends into a relationship with jaemin that lasted for about two months,,, which was considerably a long time considering that it was jaemin.the two of them were a fat power couple 
ur friend, let’s call her ella, was probably one of the more popular girls at school. she was well-known for being the prettiest, kindest girl that everyone LOVES
anyways, things didn’t end so well bc he stood her up at hoco even though he was gonna be crowned homecoming king and her queen. 
no one knows why jaemin just ditched but he did. 
didn’t stick well with your friend tho cause she stopped talking to you as well not really giving you an explanation
and this led to everyone in your friend group to kinda put all the blame onto you 
this is also when jaemin picked up his heartbreaker reputation and began living up to that title
at first ur were hella mad and sad, but you got over it cause being outcasted and kicked out of that friend group led you to befriend the local stoner boi!haechan
honestly, you got over it but after ignoring and avoiding jaemin for a whole year it just stuck. 
yall never talked again 
here comes SENIOR YEARS BITS 
u were so done w school at this point, you had suffered and labored through junior year,,, SAT and ACT were the biggest bitches you ever faced in your lifetime and this is coming from someone who was friends with the resident shithead lee haechan 
so it’s lunchtime and you’re listening to haechan’s wild story about some shenanigan that he and his weed dealer/ older college friend mark had gotten up to the past weekend 
“so like we were just hitting a blunt this weekend in mark’s car and this cop pulls up next to us.mark rolls down the window and all of the smoke just hits the cops in the face” 
“you're a fucking idiot, haechan” 
“listen bitch, i’m not done” 
“so the cop is doing the regular illegal drugs bullshit and asked mark a question. understand at this point that mark is high as fuck so i kid you not the crackhead says quack. nothing else just quack. honestly, i still don’t know how we got out of that but we did and lee haechan is still in school.” 
you want to slap your friend with a big smh at this point 
but it so ridiculous and so haechan that you can’t say anything else 
and you don’t have too! bc someone taps ur shoulder pulling you out of your convo and boom it’s ella 
“hey, y/n” she starts out sweetly and you could feel haechan’s bitch face directed towards the girl, who seemed to just ignore the boy 
“what’s up, ella?” you were hella fucking slightly irritated and highkey suspicious bc like this was the first time that she talked to you in like two years
“this out of the blue, but you know how prom is coming up soon? we need extra hands on the planning community,” ella explained with a bright smile  “we need another person to work on making the centerpieces for each table, but we only have one person on that” 
“okay, so what does this have to do with her?” haechan’s bitchy tone soaked in each word 
ella’s smile faltered slightly at his words, but it was so subtle that only people with keen eyes could notice
“i hope that i’m not imposing anything on to you.” ella trying to reassure  “but Mr. Moon told me that you still need some community service hours for our graduation requirement so I just assumed that this would be a good opportunity for you.” 
oh shit 
you completely forgot about that and you still needed like another 10 hours to complete
“ummmm” 
“i wouldn’t ask you this but my workload is completely swamped” ella added “it would be a big help if you can help. haechan, you can help too!” 
haechan let out a loud gag that seemed to baffle her 
“oh hell no, i already got my community service hours done like freshmen year.” 
you gave haechan the most incredulous face you could make cause like this druggie who gets high every other week and vapes in the bathroom really finished his community service hours before you????how?? 
“don’t look at me like that.” haechan kicked you underneath the table “it was before i learned how to roll a blunt” 
“drugs aren’t good for you, haechan,” ella chided 
haechan made a mocking face,,you know the one he does like that one,,”not all of us can be little miss goodie-two-shoes like you” 
oKAy time to do some damage control before your shithead friend gets himself into more shit 
“i’ll do it. just text me the details.” 
“thank you so much y/n!” ella said before bouncing off 
“i hate her” haechan stated
“you hate everyone” 
CUE aFTerschool when you follow ella’s text to go to the art building where everyone was gathered 
the minute you walked in you realized that you should have just said no and done some other community service activity cause jaemin was present standing in the corner and other people who you once called your close friends that turned out to be fat snakes
now you gotta deal with them again (aww shit here we go again) 
ella is motioning you to come into the classroom which you obliged cause you figured that you possibly could survive w ur rbf on as you made your way to the other unoccupied corner
there was some whispering in the background but you ignored it cUASE like hyuk always says: “you just gotta get high and block out all the haters” 
well, he was right about the second half, not so much the first. 
“alright everyone! thank you so much for volunteering to help set up for our senior prom! we only have about three weeks so we have to get all of the decorations done as soon as possible!” ella said in a chirpy tone
a lot of people looked motived by the girl’s bubby short speech on how everyone needs to put in 100% of their effort. you zoned that out as you caught the sleeping figure at the teacher's desk 
“goddamn you mr.moon forcing me to be here” you grumbled in your head almost missing your assigned duty, 
“y/n!” your head snapped in the direction that your name was called 
you saw ella standing with jaemin and the sirens go off in your head 
FUCK THIS
you let out a loud sigh before trotting over to the two 
ella gave you a piece of paper that had the centerpieces’ picture on them along with a long list of decorations “all you guys have to do is make about 300. all the directions are on the sheet and the supplies are in the other room. it’s really simple, just have it done by next friday.” 
you nearly popped a blood vessel 
300 by next friday? today was wednesday so that meant you only had ten days to finish all 300 of them
so you and jaemin are walking to the classroom next door to get the supplies y’all needed,,, in your head, you were just cursing everything in existence for putting you into this position especially mr. moon 
“so how did she rope you into this?” you heard jaemin say from beside you as you both carried boxes out to the parking lot. 
you two came to the good conclusion to split the load so that he would do half and you would do half 
150 it’s not that bad 
15 a day
hell yeah
it was so strange and foreign talking to him since it’s been about two whole years.  
he had a nice voice tho ngl maybe that’s why he got out of that detention that one time 
“she somehow found out that i still needed to complete my community service hours before graduation” you murmured, praying that haechan remembered you telling him to wait for you after school 
he probably ditched you to get high or hang out with one girl he liked
all jaemin said was “oh” and the rest of the walk to the school’s parking lot was quiet 
the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and the knife would break
“hey can i ask you a question?” jaemin asked when the two of you were about to go your separate ways 
you could see mark’s old beat-down car meaning that haechan, in fact, did ditch you but had the decency to call up mark to pick you up 
“yeah, go ahead” 
“how come you still talk to jeno, but not me?” 
i shit you not this was the quietest and deepest voice that you ever heard jaemin project 
you didn’t know how to reply so you looked down at the large box in your hand, mumbling some incoherent excuse
“can you repeat that?” 
“ i said, we don’t really have any other reasons to be friend's unlike me and jeno” 
“is that all?” jaemin asked, probably catching onto your bullshit
you were probably delusional but you could’ve sworn you heard some sadness in the tone he used
you nodded quickly trying to get to mark’s car hoping to avoid further conversation 
but boy was jaemin stubborn 
“that wasn’t a good explanation,y/n! ” jaemin called out after you. 
this time he sounded more lighthearted than before
you turn around to face jaemin who had a fatass smile on his face 
damn was he good looking smiling like that 
“give me a better reason tomorrow or else i’m taking you on a date!” his dazzling smile nearly blinding you as he made his way to his own car
inside your head little y/n is going whattheactualfuck? 
“what’s with that shook face?” mark ask as you climbed into the passenger seat 
“what the fuck?” you say 
“huh?”
you look at mark “what the ACTUAL fuck?” 
poor mark is like wtf is wrong with her,,,did haechan get her on some type of crack? 
that night while you were making the little centerpieces you were still going over what jaemin said 
you looked at the last centerpiece you finish making 
was he flirting with me? or was he serious?
he sounded sad when i said that tho? 
at the same, this was jaemin, a boy who is well-known for having flings left and right. 
he’s probably just flirting
until next day! jaemin pops up next to you as while you get your shit from your locker for your first class 
“did you come up with a good explanation yet? 
his sudden appearance startled you causing you to subconsciously let out a yelp 
“cute” he said, and you forced down the blush that was about to show 
“i thought i told you already?” causing jaemin to shake his head like a cute little puppy 
“i don’t accept it.i want a better one,” he said sounding like a spoiled toddler 
you gave him the “wtf do you mean look” and he was about to reply until you saw haechan walking through the school doors with a pair of sunglasses on which can only mean one thing
that little shit head came to school high again
you pushed passed jaemin and stormed towards haechan pulling him to some vacant hallway to lecture him
leaving jaemin standing there staring at your backs as the two of you left 
jaemin’s smile dropping significantly as he nearly glared over at the two of you leaving, specifically at the back of haechan’s head 
“dude, why do you look like you’re going to murder someone?” jeno asked as jaemin sat next to him at their lab station 
you weren’t in this chemistry class but haechan was,,,and it was his naptime
“how is y/n friends with him?” jaemin stared directly at a sleeping haechan 
jeno follows his line of sight, letting out a sigh once he notices it was haehcan
“she never really told me, but i assume it was because she stopped being friends with ella and that group” jeno said honestly. he raised an eyebrow in question at his bffl “why do you need to know” 
jaemin didn’t answer him, continuing to glaring at the sleeping male 
jeno rolled his eyes at his friend's antics 
but in a serious tone, he warns to his friend, “don’t pull your games with y/n.” 
except jaemin’s head wasn’t registering this warning,,he was solely focused on how lee fucking haechan the biggest stoner of NCT High managed to take a girl’s attention from him, na jaemin....it was simply ridiculous 
maybe he really was an attention seeker bc he made a beeline for your table during lunch instead of his regular one once he saw just how loud you were laughing at haechan’s joke 
“what’s so funny?” jaemin asked sliding into the seat next to you 
now both of you and our boy hyuk is like wtf 
immediately you’re on defense, “what are you doing here?” 
“you never gave me a good explanation!” jaemin pouted, giving you fat puppy eyes 
those aLMost worked 
“uhhhhhh” you try to find a good excuse but jaemin quickly cuts you off 
“it’s okay if you don’t have a good explanation,” jaemin reaches over and steals a fry from haechan’s tray eliciting a hissing sound from the boy “you just have to go on a date with me” 
then he winks 
and he's gone
“what in the holy fuck just happened?” 
the amount of time that y/n has said wtf is unbelievable 
haechan’s sunglasses slip down the bridge of nose and you could see his red eyes giving you a look of disappointment, “and you say i have issues” 
“stfu before i slit your throat” 
the rest of the day wasn’t any easier on you tbh. you learned that jaemin was really really stubborn and very very clingy 
the boy deadass scanned the whole hallway to find your face so he could tag along with you to your next class even though you could have sworn that his class was one the other side of the school 
he kept on bombarding you with questions on what you wanted to get after school and if you like roller skating 
by some means, you were able to hide in the library for the rest of the study hall period which meant that you could probably avoid jaemin until school ended 
you spotted a familiar boy huddled in the corner reading a book that made you squint your eyes. 
marching over to jeno, your eyes just say “explain” 
jeno looked at you with like those wide eyes he does when he’s shookth bc the two of you never interacting in school so puBlicly
“what the hell is na jaemin trying to pull?” you whispered-yelled plopping down in the wooden seat next to the athlete 
jeno is all like????wydm 
and you explain your whole situation to him and he just lets out the biggest sigh 
“he doesn’t like being left on read” 
“what do you mean?” 
“i mean, that’s what you basically did to him sophomore year. he was kinda depresso about how you just stopped talking to him out of nowhere. by the way, why did you do that?” 
tbh you really didn’t know at first you were mad at him
was it bc his actions caused all your friends to blame you for his inability to commit to a relationship,,, but it’s been two years since that incident
you got over it, so why were you still avoiding jaemin? 
“i dunno after him and ella broke up, i didn’t have a reason to talk to him.” 
jeno looked at you like “really? is that your answer?” 
“think about that question again because i’m sure that that's, not the whole answer.” 
now you’re more confused but also very mad about how both of them weren’t accepting your reason as valid! 
so as you were furiously making the stupid centerpieces that ella forced you into volunteering to do
angry y/n really got through a solid 50 of them 
you pondered on jeno’s words and you thought back to sophomore year 
you remembered still joking around lightheartedly w jaemin until he started dating ella 
he actually spent a lot of time and effort even ditching jeno sometimes for her which was okay cause jeno would chill w renjun or even you (mostly bc he could watch barbie movies w no shame) 
everything was alright until homecoming came around and jaemin flaked on ella leading them to breakup the next day 
and ella to stop talking to you which made everyone mad you or think that you were the one that caused the breakup 
WHICH YOU DIDN”T 
you were the one that hooked the two of them up too! so it was really unfair! 
it's like 2 am and you don’t know what came over to text jeno but you did 
y/n: why didn’t jaemin go to hoco sophomore year? 
you felt instant regret after sending that text bc like it probably made it seem like you were interested in jaemin,,,, which you were totally not!
seconds later jeno slaps you with the ”ask him yourself”  
fattest facepalm 
so that’s how you spent the entire night finishing all of your centerpieces that you were assigned to make cuz of your frustration
wow we love a productive y/n 
alrighty this is where shit goes down 
now that you were done with all of your centerpieces you took them to the art room the next day before school where ella was there doing her stoof 
she looked up with a giant smile when you came in with a giant box 
“you finished all of it?” 
“nah just 150. jaemins finishing the other half” you set the box down 
“oh okie,” ella nodded returning to whatever she was doing beforehand 
since it was just the two of you in the classroom and you’ve been dying to know the answer since sophomore year 
so fuck it 
“hey ella, can i ask you a question?” 
the said girl looked up with that same friendly smile that she gave everyone “of course!” 
“why didn’t jaemin show up to hoco sophomore year?” you blurted out 
in an instant, ella’s smile dropped and there was a sudden cold look in her eyes 
“you already know the answer to that, y/n, you don’t need me to answer you. now if you excuse me, i have things i have to do” ella said in a very unlike-ella-way 
her answer made you even more confused than ever bc how were you supposed to know the answer to THAT 
confused!y/n is even more confused 
however, all your questions were about to be answered, not really tho 
you’re on your way to the third period with the same burning question in your head: why the hell did jaemin not show up to sophomore year hoco??? someone help?  
tbh you didn’t even notice someone yanking you into the janitor’s closet until you were surrounded in darkness and someone's hands were clasp over your mouth 
“it’s me, jaemin” his soft whisper sent tings down your spine 
he let go of your mouth to switch on the light 
“are you fucking insane?” 
“yes, but it’s only cause i’m madly in love with you” 
you rolled your eyes “cut the bullshit, jaemin, what do you want?” 
“our date. you never gave me a solid explanation, so i want a date” 
you were about to reject him but then an idea formed in your head 
“fine” 
and with that one-word jaemin’s eyes glowed 10x brighter with his smile almost blinding you 
cheesy i know. 
“let’s go now!” 
the boy was really about to skip class just to go on this stupid date w you 
is he that bored? did he really run out of girls to date? 
but then again you really don’t want to go to math bc you’re pretty sure there's a test today that you haven’t studied for yet 
so that’s how you found yourself with jaemin at the local ice cream parlor 
jaemin INSISTED that y'all share a sundae, which he also fought you to pay for 
there a silence that falls upon you for a little bit 
jaemin breaks it though like he breaks heart (okay minnie that’s kinda mean) 
“ella told me that you finished your half of the centerpieces in two days. that’s pretty impressive,” he comments 
you nodded staring at the ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup 
“to be honest, i haven’t gotten much done yet,” he admitted, continuing to ramble on “it’ll get done. i might even pay renjun to do it, but i’m pretty sure he’s too preoccupied with this girl that he’s been pining over for a while” 
“speaking of which, are you seeing anyone right now?” jaemin asks out of nowhere. 
“lol i could be doing other things with my time.” 
jaemin observes your face closely taking in the faint blush on your cheeks from his direct gaze, “so what about that haechan dude?” 
“what about him?” 
“are the two of you a thing?” 
you nearly gagged 
“there no way in hell i’d ever get with haechan. besides, he’s having some of his own girl problems right now. he was being a little bitch about it too” 
“good” jaemin says really contently. 
“why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year?” you finally asked
taken back slightly, jaemin softly smiles down at the half-eaten sundae
instead of answering you, he asked another question “why did you stop talking to me?” 
you gulp, but eventually, you had to tell him the truth even though it was kinda dumb and immature
“because ella was mad at me after the two of you broke up.” 
he shifted his gaze up to your own eyes 
“do you know why she was mad at you?” 
you shook your head
jaemin smiled again 
this time it kinda looked sad :( 
“because she knew that i was in love with you”  
2K notes · View notes
pinksparklelps · 3 years
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1-50 >:3
K
1: lesbian n demisexual
2: sky
3: nah
4: none cuz last time didnt turn out so well
5: none
6: big field surrounded by trees with a lil pond. A cabin decorated with flowers and vines. I could go on but this is the main stuff
7: idk
8: lost song
9: hell no
10: nope
11: to my s/o :)
12: theyre all unrealistic/fantasy fantasy soooooo
13: no no no no no
14: give some to charity, get a new drawing tablet, new pc maybe? Animal charities!! Definitely buy icy some things. Ect
15: yes :)
16: hell no but they keep following me i block so many its unreal
17: very
18: none atm
19: tbh i like my name but i do like stella mostly cuz its close to stars
20: warrior cats
21: bruh i cant choose
22: 👀 @icyangelsblog
23: citizen soldier, britt nicole, blixemi (if that counts), and i dunno i just listen to random things
24: again to my s/o, probably france just cuz i love french, and i dunno
25: bed, cookie dough, draw, sing
26: autumn :)
27: i hate being told what to do and how to do it. One of the reasons I absolutely despised art class
28: icy
29: im not sure i just watch what i like
30: if im too shy to talk to them why would i tag them 👁👁
31: paper books!! Its just superior
32: sky!!!!!!!!
33: dresses
34: i dont like coffee
35: nah im with the love of my life :)
36: nah
37: no
38: i drink water
39: yes obv
40: if my s/o counts then sure
41: 140? Havent checked in a bit
42: hot
43: anythings a guilty pleasure if you have enough anxiety
44: heeeell no
45: havent been on a date
46: too many
47: none
48: im already with them
49: take a wild guess
50: night time. Slightly warm. Soft rain. Hell yes.
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jwnbwnjwn · 3 years
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Entry 8 (12.20.2020)
 Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well). 
I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick. 
I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.
Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM
-jen
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traumantic-a · 5 years
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                     HOW  TO  INTERACT  WITH  JORDAN                    (  A  PLOTTING  CHEAT-SHEET )
so,  you  want  to  write  your  muse  against  jordan,  but  you  have  no  idea  what  to  do?  have  no  fear!  plotting  can  be  pretty  daunting—I  know  I  always  blank  on  ideas  the  second  I  go  to  approach  someone  about  something,  or  I’m  always  afraid  I’ll  suggest  something  that’s  overdone  or  that  the  mun  isn’t  particularly  interested  in.  hence,  this  guide!  keep  in  mind  everything  here  is  just  a  suggestion,  so  if  you  have  ideas  that  don’t  really  fit  what  I’ve  put  in  this  guide,  that  is  fine!  throw  them  my  way!  and  happy  plotting!
                                       MEET  JORDAN  RILEY                                (  aka  a  really  quick  character  cheat  sheet  )
she’s  a  college  student.  specifically,  she’s  currently  in  her  junior  year  as  a  graphic  design  student  and  is  also  a  resident  assistant,  because  it’s  the  only  way  she  could  afford  to  continue  to  attend  school  ( #justcollegethings ).  like  many  students,  her  preferred  study  method  is  coffee  and  tears,  and  thinking  too  far  into  the  future  freaks  her  out,  so  she  copes  by  screaming  inwardly  and  pushing  on  even  though  she  needs  to  relax  ( whatever  that  means ).
she’s  also  a  resident  assistant.  and  surprisingly,  taking  the  job  wasn’t  all  about  the  money,  though  that  was  a  big  motivator.  jordan  genuinely  enjoys  the  position;  not  so  much  the  paperwork  and  having  to  enforce  rules  all  the  time,  but  getting  to  decorate  her  floor,  help  freshmen  navigate  campus  life  and  academics,  and  plan  fun  programs  and  activities  for  them  is  something  that  makes  her  feel  a  sense  of  accomplishment.  of  course,  the  perks  of  having  a  room  and  bathroom  all  to  herself  make  it  extra  nice.
she’s  very  involved.  if  she’s  not  working  on  projects,  she’s  designing  layouts  for  one  of  the  student-run  magazines;  if  she’s  not  doing  that,  she’s  hosting  a  radio  show  with  one  of  her  friends;  if  she’s  not  doing  that,  she’s  at  improv  practice;  if  she’s  not  there,  she’s  probably  stress  crying  in  the  shower,  tbh.  either  way,  she  likes  keeping  busy  whenever  she  can;  sometimes  to  a  fault.
she  hates  talking  about  ‘it.’  not  the  movie;  no,  she  enjoyed  both  chapters,  even  if  she  hasn’t  made  her  way  through  the  brick  that  is  the  novel  yet.  no,  she  hates  talking  about  her  past  traumas,  she  absolutely  hates  talking  about  the  whole  rothfield  murders  fiasco  and  the  fact  that  she  was  a  target  because  she  spoke  up  about  being  assaulted,  which  is  understandable,  because  all  of  that  is  shitty.  she’s  trying  to  move  on  from  it  all;  she  wishes  the  rest  of  the  world  would,  too.
                              PRE-ESTABLISHED  RELATIONSHIPS                                 (  aka  a  starting  point  for  fleshing  out  dynamics  )
be  a  resident  in  her  building.  this  one  is  especially  great  if  your  muse  is  a  college  student;  rothfield  university  is  a  big  school  and  there  are  roughly  six  thousand  students  living  on  campus;  250  of  those  students  live  in  williams  hall,  split  across  four  floors.  while  williams  hall  tends  to  have  a  mix  of  underclassmen  and  skews  heavily  toward  having  primarily  incoming  freshmen  reside  there,  it  isn’t  unusual  for  juniors  or  seniors  to  stay  in  the  building  because  it’s  cheaper  than  trying  to  rent  an  apartment  on  their  own,  and  they  don’t  have  to  pay  for  a  parking  pass  that  they  rarely  use  because  there’s  never  any  place  to  park.  jordan  has  to  keep  in  contact  with  the  residents  living  on  her  floor,  do  regular  academic  and  wellness  checks,  etc.;  but  beyond  that,  she  genuinely  wants  to  help  them  adjust  to  campus  and  college  life,  and  likes  being  a  mentor.
be  a  fellow  art  student/classmate.  technically  jordan’s  major  of  study  falls  under  the  college  of  communication  and  information,  but  she’s  on  track  to  learn  a  bachelor’s  of  fine  arts  in  graphic  design,  and  she  spends  a  lot  of  her  time  in  the  art  building  attending  studio  classes  and  pouring  over  projects.  she  has  other  courses  she  has  to  take  to  fill  requirements  for  her  core  classes  and  the  like  ( such  as  art  history,  algebra,  sociology,  etc.);  if  your  muse  is  a  college  student,  why  not  make  them  a  classmate  of  jordan’s?  especially  if  they’re  in  different  majors  but  happen  to  be  taking  all  the  same  ‘core’  classes;  it’s  always  great  having  a  note-sharing  buddy,  if  nothing  else.
be  involved  in  a  club/organization  with  jordan.  she’s  an  illustrator  for  a  student-run  general  interest  magazine,  she  has  a  radio  show,  and  she’s  in  an  improv  group,  and  usually  auditions  for  productions  through  the  school  of  theater  and  dance  whenever  she  has  the  time.  make  your  muse  a  member  of  the  editorial  team  on  the  magazine,  or  a  blogger,  or  a  fellow  DJ,  or  someone  who  enjoys  performing;  I’m  sure  they’ll  cross  paths  with  jordan  somehow,  some  way!
be  one  of  her  professors/mentors.  chances  are  there’s  a  bullshit  course  your  muse  could  teach  if  they  don’t  fit  in  ‘traditional’  courses  of  study  like  history,  economics,  etc.;  my  university  offered  two  different  courses  on  glass  blowing;  there’s  no  limit  to  what  can  be  taught  on  a  college  campus  to  fill  credit  hour  requirements.  jordan’s  degree  of  study  requires  a  lot  of  liberal  arts  credits  and  she’s  definitely  the  type  to  take  a  course  on  analyzing  tone  and  message  in  zombie  movies  because,  what  else  is  she  going  to  do  with  $800  dollars  in  grant  money?  she’s  a  good  student,  and  tries  not  to  skip  classes,  and  will  usually  keep  quiet  in  the  back  if  she’s  not  up  to  participating.  she  also  attends  office  hours  when  she’s  not  grasping  something,  and  if  she  likes  a  class  she  took  because  of  the  professor,  she  usually  tries  to  take  more  of  their  classes.
work  at/in  rothfield  in  some  capacity.  be  another  resident  assistant,  work  at  the  coffee  shop  frequented  by  students,  be  part  of  campus  security,  be  an  event  coordinator  with  campus,  be  that  one  lady  who  walks  her  three  rescue  dogs  on  campus  every  evening;  there’s  really  no  limit  here  ( the  lady  with  rescue  dogs  was  a  thing  at  my  school  and  I  ended  up  befriending  her,  and  she  turned  out  to  be  the  dean  of  the  women’s  studies  department  and  is  generally  the  coolest  person  I  know,  ANYWAY );  if  any  of  this  appeals  to  you,  hit  me  up  and  we’ll  flesh  out  the  details.
be  a  townie.  whether  your  muse  is  a  student  who  graduated  and  never  left  rothfield  or  is  a  born-and-bred  local  that  can  spin  a  yarn  about  the  history  of  campus,  or  just  likes  showing  up  at  house  parties  for  the  hell  of  it,  this  is  another  great  way  to  cross  paths  with  jordan  and  strike  up  a  friendship.
                                THINGS  I  WANT  TO  EXPLORE                                  (  aka  a  living  document  of  my  wishlist  tag  )
jordan  opening  up  to  someone.  jordan’s  assault  and  the  trial  from  her  high  school  years  were  pretty  well-publicized;  while  her  name  was  never  printed  in  the  news  stories  surrounding  the  case,  it’s  not  hard  to  put  the  pieces  together  when  people  find  out  where  she’s  from.  this  only  becomes  more  apparent  after  the  rothfield  murders  that  take  place  over  spring  break  2019;  being  the  ‘sole  survivor’  of  a  revenge-murder  rampage  takes  its  toll  in  some  unusual  ways.  it  takes  time  for  the  trauma  of  the  murders  to  fully  sink  in  for  jordan;  initially,  she’s  relieved  that  her  abuser  is  dead  and  gone  and  she  never  has  to  see  him  again,  but  that  relief  is  short-lived.  it  doesn’t  change  the  fact  that  she  hasn’t  fully  healed  from  her  past  traumas  and  that  she  needs  to  be  more  vocal  about  her  feelings  and  emotions;  she  needs  a  support  system,  especially  considering  her  family  is  hours  away  and  the  only  other  person  she’s  confided  in  outside  of  her  parents  and  sister  goes  to  school  in  another  state.  I’d  love  to  develop  some  close  friendships  where  jordan  feels  comfortable  opening  up  to  others  she  knows  she  can  trust  and  lean  on  when  she’s  having  bad  days;  likewise,  she’d  do  the  same  for  those  she  loves  dearly.  she’s  loyal  at  her  core  and  if  she  trusts  you,  she  will always  be  there  for  you.
                             more  to  be  added  as  ideas  come  to  me
                       THINGS  I’M  NOT  INTERESTED  IN                                 (   aka......  it’s  pretty  self-explanatory   )
your  character  ‘fixing’  jordan.  through  love,  through  friendship,  through  whatever;  while  all  of  the  above  can  definitely  help  people  dealing  with  trauma  heal,  it  is  not  the  sole,  solitary  thing  that  will  get  the  job  done.  jordan  will  never  rely  on  one  person  to  be  the  sole  thing  that  makes  her  happy  and  makes  her  feel  whole  again;  it’s  not  realistic  and  it’s  a  harmful  cliche  that  I  don’t  wish  to  perpetuate  here.  she  absolutely  needs  friends  she  can  trust,  and  she  is  capable  of  being  in  a  loving  relationship,  but  those  are  not  going  to  automatically  fix  all  her  problems.
toxic  ships.  I  don’t  really  feel  the  need  to  go  super  in-depth  with  this;  while  I’m  not  opposed  to  exploring  shitty  or  toxic  friendships  or  relationships,  because  those  do  happen,  I’m  not  interested  in  doing  so  in  the  sense  of  “they’re  toxic  because  they  care!”  again;  very  harmful  cliches  and  stereotypes  that  I  do  not  wish  to  perpetuate  here.  if  I  explore  anything  like  this  it’ll  likely  be  with  close  rp  partners  I’ve  had  for  a  while  and  know  I  can  trust.
fetishizing/‘fixing’ demisexual  people.   it’s  a  spectrum,  folks;  jordan  needs  an  emotional  connection  with  someone  deep  enough  before  she  feels  comfortable  with  intimacy.  I’m  not  interested  in  anyone  being  the  ‘exception’  to  this  for  obvious  reasons.  if  you  come  to  me  with  anything  related  to  your  muse  ‘fixing’  jordan’s  demisexuality  ( which  existed  before  her  trauma  and  was  amplified  by  it,  both  of  which  are  valid ),  I  will hard  block  you.
                                      FINAL  THOUGHTS so,  I  didn’t  intend  for  this  to  get  as  long  as  it  did;  as  far  as  the  last  section  goes,  a  lot  of  that  is  common  sense,  but  I’ve  included  it  anyway  because  I’ve  had  similar  experiences  on  blogs  before  with  people  coming  to  me  with  plot  ideas  that  were  inherently  toxic  and  glorified  to  be  something  bigger/better,  and  felt  it  would  be  best  to  address what  I’m  not  comfortable  with  and  why  directly  out  of  the  gate.  keep  in  mind  that  all  of  this  is  a  guideline,  and  if  you  have  ideas  that  expand  outside  of  what  I’ve  placed  here,  I’d  love  to  hear  them!  don’t  hesitate  to  approach  me  to  plot,  especially  if  you  want  to  expand  on  anything  I’ve  listed  in  this  cheat  sheet.  <3
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sometimesrosy · 5 years
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Your thoughts on the parallels between Octavia and Clarke's respective identities as Bloodreina and Wanheda? And on the possibility of Niylah reprising her role as the accepting loyalist and us getting canon Octavia/Niylah as perhaps a way to take some of the sting out of endgame Bellarke for the wlw community?
That is a good question, and I’m not sure I have a theory on Wanheda and Blodreina parallels. I do know that I have a different take on Wanheda, because while western society associates death with evil, a lot of other societies don’t? It’s a part of life. One that can’t be avoided. And also, in considering Commander of Death, the commander doesn’t only decide that people will die, she also decides who will live. It’s LIFE and death, really. Clarke saves as much as she kills. She heals. The knife is an edged blade that can kill but it can also do surgery and cut out the poison so that the body can keep living. In the tarot, the Death card actually represents REBIRTH, not death. And seeing as this is a story about the apocalypse, the end of the world and saving humanity from the brink to bring it back, Wanheda can’t be as simple as “genocide king.” 
Blodreina is different. First there’s no tarot card for it….although…. wait… There are lots of queens. Blodreina could represent Queen of Cups, because blood is liquid, but that represents the heart and emotion and Octavia is dead inside. She could be Queen of Cups reversed, blocked because of her broken heart. Or she could be the Queen of Swords, which fits with her persona, but not the name. No. I googled. not queen of cups. what was I thinking. Octavia is definitely queen of swords. Definitely reversed. Remember the poster had wonkru reversed? (btw, Clarke is wands, Bellamy is cups, Octavia is swords and Raven is pentacles, and i knew that already. The symbolism has always worked. Like the chess metaphor, I believe they’re using those archetypes. The blood in blodreina threw me off.)
Description of Q of Swords
The Queen of Swords sits on a stone throne decorated with a cherub, representing the Queen’s softer side, and butterflies representing transformation. She faces towards the future, with her left hand raised as if to receive, and in her right hand, she holds a sword up high and straight, representing her desire to find the truth in all matters. [x]
That’s clearly an earlier Octavia, butterflies, swords and all. But in the bunker, she went into the upside down and became the reversed, blocked negative version of herself.
At times, the reversed Queen of Swords can come across as cold-hearted, resentful and bitchy, particularly if she is devoid of any emotion or compassion for others. This card may represent a part of yourself or someone else you are trying to deal with. You may be putting others off-side and losing your supporter base, isolating yourself from others and being seen as narrow-minded, intolerant and mean. [x]
Actually, if you want to go this site, you can look up the court cards, notice that s1 Octavia is the Page of Swords, season 2, 3, and 4 Octavia is the Knight of Swords, and s5 is reversed Queen of Swords, although she has the clear potential to be upright and transform her darkness. What I noticed is that Clarke and Bellamy are both the queen and king of their suit, respectively. You never saw their growth from page to knight to q/k. that reflects their status as heroes, I think. (I have not analyzed the pentacles, because I’m trying to stick to the question.)
So I need to say that Blodreina and Wanheda are NOT parallels. Wanheda is on another level from Blodreina. Octavia finally made it to a Queen card, and that is on a worldly level, not actually reflecting her journey of fate. Clarke’s fate is as Wanheda. She is going to save the world and she’s already started. She didn’t get there for two seasons, while she was saving her people. 
Sorry if I went tarot reader on you, but Wanheda and Blodreina are both tarot archetypes. So symbolically, that’s what I needed to look at. Blodreina is a court card, and it’s important and a leader, but in the worldly sense. While Wanheda is the major arcana, and this is fate, higher purpose, the larger story at hand. If Octavia is getting a major arcana title, it hasn’t happened yet. 
Okay that was a lot more than I expected it to be and i’m only 1/3 of the way into your question.
I don’t know what’s happening with Niylah. I had high hopes for Niytavia, and it’s at least hinted at, but I don’t know if they’ll make it canon or just leave it as subtext, or put it in the past. I don’t know if they usually do that, but, I’m afraid that Niylah isn’t strong enough to be with Octavia. She needs a stronger partner, because otherwise she’ll walk all over them and turn them into her subject. :( I mean, you don’t want to be with someone who thinks of you as a goddess, because that’s worship not a relationship. She needs a partner.
And then Marie made comments about JORDAN and Octavia and I was like, uh oh. Because Jordan’s innocence is something that Octavia needs to regain, if she ever had it, because Octavia represents HUMANITY and she’s so fallen and darkened and traumatized. So in her symbolic presence in the story, she doesn’t need Niylah. She needs to resolve her loss of Lincoln and what he taught her, but she also needs her INNOCENCE back, her HOPE. And Jordan represents that. 
So as for Niytavia being used as a kind of apology for wlw fans? I’m not sure they’re doing that. I did spec that in season 4 I think. But I think that would be kind of mean and cynical, as if like you could buy someone a puppy when their beloved dog died and that replaces what they’ve lost. Like, you can’t replace one ship with another and make it okay. you know? And tbh I don’t think it was JUST because CL was wlw that it was loved, I think it was because it was a traditional fantasy fairytale story. It wasn’t a very special episode about ‘being” lgbt, it was a FULL story, just like straight people have always gotten, but the main characters were wlw. It was a story for women who wanted genre stories where they got to be the heroes and the love interests. Like, the stories of minority people are not just about how hard it is to be a minority. We’re people. And we have all the same stories as the people who have gotten to be heroes for millennia. 
I do have a speculation that seems almost unavoidable to me at this point. And it is about endgame CL. Because Lxa is in the flame, and Clarke was a commander and in the flame, and when a commander takes the flame, their consciousness is downloaded into the AI, so even though Clarke did not DIE, her consciousness should actually BE in the flame. So in that case, if they address it (and I think they did hint that flameClarke is in there by some of the things Madi said,) then FlameClarke and FlameLxa are currently together in the flame, and will indeed have an endgame, immortal romance. 
I don’t know how that might be received by the wlw community, if they will feel that as an epic story or as a cheat. Because I doubt that The 100 will follow the story of FlameCL on screen, but it does open up an almost unlimited universe for fanon and speculation in which CL is real. The rumors of Alycia returning for a cameo would support this theory, although I’m not a fan of rumors, so id on’t know.
However, I think endgame FlameCL will also be paired with the in canon story of Bellarke endgame. And I know that just makes the CL fandom angry on principle, so I guess that’s where I wonder if they will accept a FlameCL endgame or think of it as a cheat. 
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ofaprotector-blog · 5 years
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 -- greeeetings !! I am legit so excited to have found this rp because I was PrAYiNg for a zombie rp to pop up in the tags. I’m also really looking forward to meeting everyone + your muses ! but okay ~ my name is amanda ( 18 / est / she | they ) & some lil fun facts about me are : I love sims & could play it for literal hours on end, my favourite colour is red, i have 2 cats & 4 rats annnnnd I love taking bubble baths ! but enough about me . . . under the cut you’ll find info + some wanted connections for ya boy :-)
introducing . . . . nicolas ( nico ) diaz !
(  alberto rosende  /  male /  he | him )  .  introducing nicolas “nico” castro, the host for the caretaker. they’ll be twenty - five years old, and arrived at hartly two and a half months ago. you’ll always see a cleaver knife around wherever he is
BEFORE :
nico grew up in a loving family ; he, his parents + his sister were all very close and it was just ... very sweet
was born & raised in delaware and had plans of staying in the area during his later years in life ( which... i mean, did happen cause he’s still here )
he always had a caretaker inside him. when someone got hurt or was in need of someone to talk to, nico would always be there - it didn’t matter what terms the two were on, he was there for anyone who needed him
in high school, nicolas was labelled as a music kid ; though he never really had only 1 group of friends .. he didn’t believe in cliques and was friends with pretty much everyone
was planning on opening a daycare center! & got really close to the opening day. he spent a lot of his time and effort into decorating the center and making sure it was perfect ( + safe ) for kids
for nico’s 20th birthday, his little sister gave him a locket with a photo of the two of them in it & he has literally not taken it off since she gave it to her -- even nowadays. he just refuses to take it off
AFTER :
he was with his little sister when the outbreak first first happened. they were actually visiting a sick relative in the local hospital ( yikes fdgh ) and needless to say, getting back home was uuuh hard & took several hours
a month into the outbreak, he and his little sister were going to find their parents - who went on a supply run and never came back - & on their way back home, a horde blocked them off. they were absolutely surrounded and knew their only way out was to go up
^^ nico made his sister go first and he quickly  climbed the ladder behind her but when he got to the top of the building . . . she was no where to be found. lost - gone - disappeared into thin air. he spent DAYS on end looking for her but just simply couldn’t
of course, he knew he needed to move on and he eventually did but he never stopped looking for her. & actually will often look for her when going on supply runs for the group
despite losing the people he was closest to, he’s still very kind and tries to give people hope. he hates seeing people cry and will make a complete fool of himself to cheer someone up
tbh though.... he has some damage. losing his sister was so, so incredibly hard for him & not knowing if she’s dead or alive or where she even is, is very upsetting for him to talk / think about
OTHER STUFF :
he started playing guitar when he was 10 - years - old & practiced every weekend since the outbreak ... so he’s very good at playing
nico is a sweetheart but he isn’t afraid to be tough daddy if it means protecting his loved ones
bisexual | ravenclaw | esfp | cancer | the caretaker
pos traits : welcoming, nurturing, humorous
neg traits : overly giving, stubborn, worrisome
his weapon of choice will always be a cleaver knife because 1) he lowkey thinks it looks badass dfjkgh & 2) he knows how to use it ‘cause his mother was a professional chef + taught him how to properly hold every single kitchen knife ---- he never uses guns unless he absolutely has to
if anyone finds a guitar + gifts it to him, he will literally cry. he misses playing & making music so much
WANTED CONNECTIONS :
platonic ↳ childhood friends ↳ best friends ↳ close friends ↳ supply runner group ( people he trusts to watch his back )
crushes ↳ mutual ↳ unrequited / one - sided ↳ long lasting ( aka a crush that’s been there for a long time )
enemies  ↳ friends on bad terms / friends turned enemies ↳ mutual dislike ↳ one-sided hatred ↳frenemies
LOVE  ↳ current partner ↳ fwb / one night stand ↳ flirtationship ↳ exes 
literally anything else 
annnnnd yeah - sorry this is a little long !! eventually, i’ll have a full bio + stats page for my dude. if you want to plot, please hit me up @ any time cause I would Love to :^)
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