#not just friends but really a support system and someone really close or whatever. and i dont even dream one day in my life to have an irl f | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jungkookschin · 8 months

Text

older

think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders

synopsis: all your friends say you're delusional for thinking you have a chance with jungkook, the handsome older man you've known since forever, but you just can't seem to let him go. word count: 18k

pairing: older!jungkook x afab reader

genre: age gap au (seven years), social media au!!!, childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes warnings: character death (not jk or y/n), cursing, nudity,

author's note: i am so overwhelmed with the support i've gotten for this fic!! obviously this isn't going to be the best written fanfic, but i genuinely enjoyed writing it!! and yes, there will be a part 2!

PART 1 | PART 2

“Girl.. be for real. He doesn’t want you.” Beomgyu’s opinion bounces off your bedroom wall but shoots into your heart like an arrow; you subtly glare at him through your vanity mirror. Though, the Snorlax plush headband and unblended concealer in triangles under your eyes is far less than intimidating.

“Okay, fuck you-”

Beomgyu shrugs. “You can wear all the makeup in the world and you would never get his attention,” he nonchalantly utters, not caring enough to even look at you while he addresses you. You pout, sulking as Beomgyu’s very real assertion settles into your system.

Jeon Jungkook would never see you that way.

He adores you because you’ve been acquainted since childhood- your parents being close friends. He’s seven years older than you and has witnessed you blossom from a childish boy-crazy kid to an equally boy-crazy adult, the same way you’ve seen him go from a prepubescent pre teen to a hot, older, rich, man.

“Look, and that’s not to say that you’re not pretty or whatever because you are pretty and a lot of guys want you, but Jungkook… he’s just too old for you,” he offers you an empathetic smile before attempting to assuage the petulance in the air. “Honestly, I would be even more concerned if he responded to your advances because that would be.. hella weird.”

Beomgyu’s claims often transform your brain into a philosophical battlefield. Would it really be all that inappropriate for Jungkook to see you as a woman? An age gap of seven years holds no real significance if you were both in your 20’s, right? But does Jungkook knowing you since childhood completely nullify any chance you have with him?

“Oh fuck off with that. I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m already 19 years old, almost 20-”

“The delusion is never escaping this one…” Beomgyu mumbles. He finally looks up from his phone when you spring up from your chair and stomp over to him. You hold your manicured claw up to scratch his face, but Beomgyu grabs your wrist before you can do any damage.

“You’re such a horse girl, don’t try to scratch me- wait are you crying?” Beomgyu’s gaze melts after noticing the tears accumulating in your waterline.

“No!” you respond, the tip of your nose becoming slightly red. You raise your sleeve to wipe your nose.

“Wait Y/N! You’re going to get makeup all over my hoodie!-”

Beomgyu halts when he sees your unblended concealer transfer onto his very white and expensive hoodie. His lips form into a straight line while he stares at you blankly.

“Sorry?” you squeak. He gestures dramatically- blinking at you like a pissed off owl.

…

You bolt to the door, sprinting from Beomgyu before he quickly follows in pursuit of you. You run through the house, tumbling down the stairs frantically, and when you turn the corner, you stub your toe against the wall, stumbling over and falling flat on your face.

You shriek in pain, holding onto your toe. Your eyes immediately tear up, sobbing through the pain blistering in your toe. And for some reason, Beomgyu is nowhere to be found.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You freeze when none other than Jungkook pops out of his room, completely shirtless with nothing but gray sweats on. His abs are literally ripping in your face and his entire sleeve of beautiful tattoos are practically mocking you- especially the mask one. It's laughing in your face because it gets to be on Jungkook’s body and you don’t.

You begin to cry even harder. No physical pain would ever compare to the pain of not being able to have him.

“Whoa, whoa, what happened?” Jungkook kneels down and takes your foot in his large hands.

Thank God you got your toes done the day before. His thumbs press into the balls of your feet while he carefully inspects your toes. “Not fractured, I think. Think you can get up, baby?”

Baby. He’s been calling you that stupid nickname since forever. That’s what everybody used to call you when you were younger; you were the youngest of all your parents’ friends’ kids after all. But for some reason, the nickname only seemed to stick with Jungkook. He has this horrible tendency (not really) of doting on you, taking care of you, and spoiling you to oblivion.

You sniffle, shaking your head.

Jungkook’s handsome face crinkles into a subtle laughter, an amused expression etched onto his features. He takes his pointer finger and thumb, pinching your nostrils and wiping your snot onto his sweats.

You smile sheepishly, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

This man will literally touch your feet and boogers as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. That has to mean something, right?

Jungkook scoops you into his arms bridal style and takes you into his room.

Why Jungkook has a room in your house is beyond you. It seems like he was always over doing some errands for your parents- not that you were complaining, of course. He sets you down on his bed and uses his large palm to smooth over the frizzy hairs that are sticking up.

“Just stay here for a while. I’ll take you to Urgent Care if it hurts in a few hours.”

Truth be told, that shit didn’t even hurt anymore, but there’s no way you were going to pass this opportunity up. You nuzzle into Jungkook’s sheets, his masculine smell absolutely amplifying your will to live. His cologne smells so good, the musky elegance of his scent making you dizzy as you bask in his essence.

Anyways! Looks like you’re canceling your plans with Beomgyu. Apparently, he already knows that.

Shutting your phone off, your eyes drift towards Jungkook, owlishly blinking at the computer code projected onto his large monitor. He’s got everything going for him: rich, hot, smart, successful. You want to cry again. “Jungkook, can I ask you something?”

His focus remains on the screen, eyes still boring onto the monitor before he absentmindedly responds, “Sup?”

“What would you do if a bear, a lion, and a gorilla just walked into this room right now?”

Jungkook’s fingers pause, hovering above his light up keyboard. He swivels around in his chair, his handsome features crinkling in evident confusion.

“I’m serious. What would you do if a bear, a lion, and a gorilla showed up in your room? If you aren’t able to answer the question, then I don’t really know if I feel safe here,” you elaborate as you gesture with your hands, the bratty tone laced in your voice attempting to guilt trip him for not having a backup plan for this very specific specific situation.

“Easy. I would feed you to them and then escape,” Jungkook bites back a cheeky smile before spinning around and returning to his work.

You gasp dramatically, pouting before you pull his covers over your head.

Jungkook hums to himself, laughing at how obnoxious you can be.

Later on, another question is conjured in your imaginative little mind, and Jungkook’s lip twitches when he hears your classic Jungkook, I have another question.

“Hmmm?”

“Do you think you could put me on with your piercing guy?”

Jungkook swivels around in his chair once again. “Thought you already had your ears and belly pierced.”

“It’s not enough. I want more. Wanna be like you,” you murmur, eyes settling on his five piercings decorating his left lobe, the one in his eyebrow, and the two on his lips.

“It is enough,” he immediately counters, “You shouldn’t put holes in your body.”

You cock a brow at him. “I know you’re not talking.”

Jungkook’s lip twitches upwards at your cheekiness. “Yea, I’ll send you his instagram. Tell him you’re with me and he’ll squeeze you in as soon as possible.”

“And I told Soobin to not piss in the water bottle, but he did anyway. And guess what? I almost drank from the same water bottle. Can you believe that? I was so fucking pissed at him I almost threw his piss back on him…” Yeonjun can tangibly feel that you’re not all there, your eyes occasionally drifting off- so his eyes follow your train of vision until-

“Oh c’mon Y/N!” Yeonjun’s fingers release the grip on the gym equipment, causing the weights to thunderously slam back into place. You yelp, flinching a bit before you swat Yeonjun’s biceps.

“You scared me you bitch!”

“You scare me! And what the fuck are you wearing? What kind of basic bitch wears a pink set to the gym?”

You gasp dramatically. “You did not just say that.”

“And stop drooling over Jungkook! He doesn’t want you-mmmphh!” You clasp your palm over Yeonjun’s mouth mid-sentence, your boba eyes glaring up at him. You release your hand, pouting at him dramatically when you feel you’ve tortured him enough.

Hands on your hips, you continue glowering at him and he gladly reciprocates the scowl on your lips.

Yeonjun acquiesces from the glare-off almost immediately, too entirely soft to hold a grudge against his best friend. “Did you only agree to come to the gym with me to see Jungkook?” he asks, sincere disappointment laced in his words.

You immediately soften, disheartened to hear the crestfallenness in his tone. You shake your head at the notion. “No- I wouldn’t do that. I swear he’s here by coincidence,” you explain thoughtfully, “I’m sorry for being an inattentive friend. It wasn’t intentional. I just get distracted whenever I see him. I’m sorry.” Your eyes return to Yeonjun’s who smiles knowingly at you. He opens his arms, offering an embrace and you gladly accept, hugging all the problems away.

“You’re such a lovestruck girl,” Yeonjun teases.

“I can’t help it. He just looks so good. Look at his arms and his tattoos- oh Yeonjun, I’ll never get over him. What should I do?”

“We just have to kill him. That’s the only option left,” your eyes meet his, his empty gaze boring into your skull before you both burst into giggles.

“You’re right. That is the only option left.” You take a step back to stretch your arms, releasing the tension in your limbs until you sense a very familiar walking pattern approaching you.

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook casually greets, creeping behind you to wrap a single arm around your shoulder. He pulls you closer to him from behind, nonchalantly nuzzling his forehead into the back of your head. You use both your hands to grip onto his thick forearm. “Um, hey Kook.”

Yeonjun bites back laughter, watching how you practically become hysterical at Jungkook’s casual gesture.

Jungkook uses his vacant hand to dap up Yeonjun- over your head. “What’s up Yeonjun?” Jungkook grins. Yeonjun reciprocates the friendly greeting. “Hey, how’ve you been? You looked great with the tricep presses.”

Jungkook beams at that. “Oh, you saw? I’ve been bulking so I’m trying to go super heavy with the weights.”

“I can tell. You look fucking enormous,” Yeonjun comments.

Jungkook immediately dismisses the compliment with a wave. “Don’t say that. You look good too…”

Tuning out of the interaction, your brain begins to malfunction when you realize that Jungkook is extremely familiar with all of your friends. You definitely aren’t the most social person, often opting to napping in your cozy bed instead of going into the harsh, unforgiving world, but you are lucky enough to have great friends like Yunjin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Jungkook knows all of them. That had to be indicative of something deeper, right? Perhaps his underlying affection for you? Or a sign that he was possibly in love with you?

“What are you giggling about?” Jungkook teases, gently using his vacant hand to ruffle your hair.

You crimson intensely. “Nothing,” you sheepishly respond, skitterishly ducking under Jungkook’s arm to scurry behind Yeonjun, using your friend as a protective shield.

“What’s up with her?” Jungkook asks Yeonjun, to which Yeonjun feigns ignorance. “Not a clue.”

“Well then, I’m gonna head out. I’m actually staying at Y/N’s for a bit because her parents are out of town. Can you believe I still have to babysit her?” Jungkook says to Yeonjun, giving you a teasing glance.

“It’s just in case someone stalks me or tries to kill me! I don’t need to be babysat,” you emphasize, scowling at Jungkook and he can’t help but to reach out and pinch your cheek. The casual gesture sends you over the moon.

“Whatever you say. You need a ride home though? I can wait so Yeonjun doesn’t have to waste gas on you,” Jungkook suggests, eyes darting towards yours then Yeonjun’s to detect any traces of reticence or hesitation in his features.

You do the same, glancing towards Yeonjun who actually sports a look of indifference. You playfully link your arms with Yeonjun’s before sending Jungkook a downward smile. “It’s okay Kook. Wanna spend time with my friend today.”

A touched gasp leaves Yeonjun’s lips as he holds his hand over his heart, gesticulating dramatically to convey his surprise that you would choose him over the man you’ve been salivating over the past thirty minutes.

Jungkook has no protests about your preference. “Alright Y/N, see you at home. See you Yeonjun,” he gives you a little squeeze before he departs.

Yeonjun waits until Jungkook is out of ear shot to provoke you, mocking you in an obnoxious, high pitched voice, “I don’t need to be babysat! You’re such a baby- but thank you for choosing me, you know.”

You tilt your head, eyebrows pinching before you subtly frown at Yeonjun’s comment. “Of course I would choose you. You’re my friend.” You say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world- because it kinda is. Bros over hoes any day.

Yeonjun’s lips quirk up at the sentiment, “Oh how touching, thank you so much for gracing me with your presence, my queen.”

Jungkook thinks you can be such a princess sometimes, especially when you drag your feet back into the house, a sour expression consuming your pretty features. Particularly receptive to your emotional fluctuations, he doesn’t hesitate to ask you what’s up.

He leans against the kitchen counter, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows as his eyes settle on your moping figure. “Who made you sad? Bring them to me right now,” he muses.

You pause, letting your light green gym bag (with little Snorlax’s decorated all over it) fall to the floor with a thud before gazing at him with a vacuous expression. “Why are you dressed up?” you point towards his work attire- a simple white button up and slacks. The buttons on his dress shirt are undone and messy, giving you access to his chest and it makes you want to roll around on the floor and cry. His slacks are tight- accentuating his long, muscular legs and you decide that you’d be okay with dying only if you were suffocated between his thighs.

“Had a work call,” he responds, indifference laced in his voice, “Now who made you sad? Want oppa to handle it for you?” he teases, releasing a breathless laugh at the way your nose scrunches up in disgust.

Nonetheless, you spill everything to Jungkook- because you always spill everything to Jungkook and because you trust him with everything in you. He makes you feel safe. Plopping yourself down on the seat by the dining counter, you wordlessly slide your phone across the counter. Jungkook effortlessly stops your phone with a single hand, his eyes scanning across the array of text messages popping up on the screen.

“Not this guy again,” he mutters under his breath, gauging the situation.

“I know!” you concede, “Wish he would leave me alone- but I feel like I have to respond.”

The text messages were from none other than your ex-boyfriend, telling you how much he misses you, how he’ll do better for you, and every other generic I want you back text in the book.

There are various reasons why you feel obligated to respond to him: (a) the whole breakup was a mess and (b) it was your fault. You were in a long-term, committed relationship with your high school sweetheart until you recognized your exponentially growing feelings for Jungkook. The guilt of breaking your ex’s heart haunts you- his crying, tear-stained face often popping up in your mind when you feel shitty, making you feel even shittier. Though you were no longer emotionally tied to him you do feel obligated to give him closure, or at the very least respond to his text messages.

But you’ve had this conversation with your ex numerous times. How much closure does one need in order to move on?

“You don’t have to respond to him,” Jungkook’s sonorous voice pulls you from the thoughts plaguing your mind. “You’ve already told him how you feel,” Jungkook is the rational force in your life, always tugging you towards the right direction, especially when your susceptible mind feels the need to please everyone and everything.

“I know,” you sigh, “I just feel bad. He was my first kiss, first boyfriend. It feels like I just abandoned him.”

A look of contemplation blankets Jungkook’s handsome face, evident by the way his fingers trace over his chin and lips. “That’s true,” he eventually asserts, “but no one as young as you should stay in a relationship out of obligation.” He approaches you and settles himself down on the vacant seat beside you. “Actually Y/N, I’m proud of you for building up the courage to let him go. It would be more painful if you forced yourself to stay.”

You purse your lips and nod, allowing yourself to enjoy the sensation of Jungkook comfortingly rubbing your back. “t’s just sad. I used to love him.”

“I know Y/N, but sometimes you just have to start living in the present instead of the past. If you respond you’re just going to give him false hope. Just let it be,” he articulates, using prudence to assuage you.

You nod, craning your head to sustain eye contact with him, making the conversation feel all the more intimate and personal, “How would you feel if you were him? I mean- if your girlfriend broke up with you and you were still like- in love- with her?”

He tilts his head, thoroughly contemplating the question because he takes your feelings seriously, and he wants to give you the right answers. “If my girlfriend loses feelings then she loses feelings, there’s nothing I can do about it. I definitely wouldn’t beg for her back, I’d go out and make a lot of money instead,” he smiles, “But I wouldn’t know how it feels. I’ve never been dumped before,” he adds.

“Seriously?” you interject, not believing that Jungkook has never been dumped in his 26 years of living. “What about that one girl you brought to Thanksgiving Dinner a few years ago? What happened to her?”

“Ahh her?” he somewhat grimaces at the thought of his ex-girlfriend, “She was getting a little too suffocating so I let her go. She was really pissed off- tried to key my car and shit,” he states.

You gasp. His ex-girlfriend was so sweet to you- she even bought you a Snorlax plush keychain. But you can imagine Jungkook trying to hold her back while she jostles out of his grip, trying to key his car- his baby. “No way? If she ever comes back, just let me know. I’ll throw hands for you,” you enunciate, showing him your fists to which Jungkook just scoffs in amusement.

“Yea, I’ll definitely call you,” he remarks sarcastically before getting up, “So are you good, baby?” he asks, casually resting his hand on your shoulder, and you nod.

“‘M good. I’m not gonna respond to him.”

Jungkook’s lips quirk up at that. “Good.”

Jungkook is livid. You can tell by the way he spam calls you even after you repeatedly reject his calls. You quietly sneak out of the lecture hall and answer his call once you’ve reached the hallway.

“What? I’m in class,” you impatiently mutter.

“You’re fucking kidding, aren’t you?” he scoffs through the phone, “I canceled your appointment, by the way.”

The color drains from your face once you realize what this is about. “He told you?”

“You’re out of your fucking mind if you thought you could go through me to get your nipples pierced! I can’t believe you thought I would let you do that!”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” you whisper shout into his phone, “I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want!”

“No you’re not. Baby, you can’t even drink,” he reiterates, a little more calmly this time.

“Who cares? You’re not my mom! I can do whatever I want. Even if it’s through someone else!” you bark back. The silence that ensues intimidates you.

“Baby.” His voice is low, and it’s kinda hot but you don’t pay attention to it because of how angry you are at him trying to monopolize your actions.

“I’m not a fucking baby anymore so stop calling me that!”

“You’re not a baby?” Jungkook laughs lowly into the phone, as if the claim itself is ridiculous.

“‘m not.” He can practically hear your pout through the phone.

“You can’t even get on a plane by yourself.”

You gasp at Jungkook’s low blow. That was one time. A month ago, you took a flight to Vegas for EDC to meet up with Yunjin, who flew out the day before you. But you had no clue how to check your bag in, and were far too intimidated to go through the security check by yourself. What if they thought your ID was fake? Or worse what if they sent you to jail? There was just no way you could go through by yourself.

You remember the way Jungkook shook his head at your preposterous notions but nonetheless still agreed to take care of you.

So Jungkook drove you to the airport, carried your bag for you, weighed it, and checked it in. He also stood with you for the entire thirty minute wait at security and only left the airport when called and told him you were waiting at the departure gate.

You don’t respond, and he takes it as an opportunity to further his point.

“That’s what I thought. End of story. You’re not getting it done.”

He hangs up and you blissfully sigh. This literally takes feminism back 32904098 years, but you kind of love a man that can put you in your place.

Jungkook goes to the gym everyday solely so he can beat the shit out of Taehyung and Mingyu, who get off on tormenting him for his extremely complex and profound feelings for you.

Hooking up to the bluetooth speaker and blaring the sound of police sirens, going “Ayo! He’s right here, officer!” every time they walk past a policeman- they even go as far as putting handcuffs on him while he sleeps- hooting and howling in laughter when Jungkook wakes with his hands restrained.

Initially, it made his intestines twist and turn with pure guilt, guilt about harboring feelings for you, the little girl who used to prance around his room and do cartwheels in futile attempts to impress him.

His friends make him feel like shit, but they’re his friends for a reason.

“Hey, so how’s Y/N?” Mingyu casually asks, sinking into the welcoming leather of Jungkook’s sleek, black sofa. He props his feet up on Jungkook’s coffee table- mahogany brown and custom designed to suit Jungkook’s meticulous and elegant taste.

Jungkook narrows his eyes at the nonchalance of the comment, half expecting Taehyung to pop out of nowhere in policeman cosplay, ready to put him in cuffs. “Why’re you asking?”

When Mingyu detects the hostility blanketing Jungkook’s features, his jaw drops in realization of the reality of the situation. “Wait.. you don’t take us seriously when we tease you about that shit, right?”

Jungkook cocks his head in confusion, settling beside Mingyu, chopsticks in hand as he blows on his ramen. “I mean, kinda. I feel guilty about it.”

Mingyu eyes his friend for a while, and Jungkook slowly turns his head towards Mingyu when he feels lasers boring holes into his skull. “What, asshole?”

“Ah, sorry man. I didn’t know it bothered you. I kind of thought it was a given that you and Y/N are cute together. Didn’t know the age gap bothered you.”

Oh.

Jungkook pauses, setting his sizzling ramen back into the plastic container instead of into his mouth, and Mingyu feels the need to further elaborate.

“I mean, you’re always helping her out, taking care of her, that’s pretty cute.”

Jungkook blinks at Mingyu, raking his tattooed hand through his hair. “Doesn’t that just make me look like a dumbass?” he mutters, before letting out a bitter, light-hearted laughter at the reality of his assertion.

His emotions for you run deep and intricate, but one thing remains unequivocally clear: he doesn't do these things because he expects something in return. That would be selfish. Obligation doesn't factor into his decisions either. Jungkook doesn't subscribe to such motivations when it comes to his personal life. He views it as unnecessary and cumbersome—except when it involves you. Whether it's looking after you, lending you money, helping you with homework, or driving you to the airport, he does it all because he genuinely loves you.

He acknowledges the peculiarity of his natural inclination to care for you. In the past, he's ended numerous relationships due to girls he found excessively clingy, suffocating, or overbearing, all attributes he easily uses to describe you- but he lives for that shit when it comes to you.

Mingyu’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. “What? That girl loves you, Jungkook. If she does good in school and gets rich, you’d be bathing in that shit,” Mingyu jokes, causing Jungkook to sputter out laughter at the absurd thought.

“Right now though?” Mingyu continues, “She wouldn’t be able to change your tire or some shit, but she brings you this sense of peace, and that’s something every guy needs in his girl.”

Jungkook pauses at that.

Jungkook is abruptly awoken by the blaring sound of his ringtone. Groggily, he reaches for his phone on the nightstand, eyes barely open.

You, the only person that would call him at 3 in the morning, and you the only person he would answer at 3 in the morning.

Babysitting is the last word he would use to explain why he’s at your house right now. He’s at your house because, well, he would do anything for you, even if you aren’t aware of the lengths he would go to keep you satiated and happy.

He’s aware that men find you charming for your ditzy and oblivious nature, but Jungkook likes you regardless of whether or not you possess such an arbitrary trait. But it is true that there are a lot of things you aren’t aware of, like how utterly lovely you are. Jungkook knows you- sees how oblivious you are to the men who shamelessly ogle at you, or the boys who practically break their necks to get a glimpse at you.

You have this resonating effect on him. You drive him crazy and you don’t even know it.

Initially, Jungkook had never truly focused his attention on you, yet as time passed, an irresistible attraction began to pull him toward you. He vividly recalls an incident in particular that left him dumbfounded.

Jungkook’s mom visited yours to drop off some vegetable. Gifting fruits and vegetables from their gardens are the way the aunties demonstrate their love and appreciation for one another. Jungkook reckons you didn’t know he was there because you pranced down the stairs with the tiniest boy shorts and camisole top. Jungkook isn’t the type of man to become disoriented over the sight of a woman’s body, practically desensitized from all the women he’s been with, but he stiffens at your presence.

“Wow baby!” His mother giggles, using your classic nickname as she ogles you shamelessly, “You’re getting really sexy!”

She playfully nudges your mom, “Are you ready to have grandchildren?” The joke makes your mother roll her eyes, though a smile lingers on her lips, infinitely proud of her beautiful daughter.

“I wish someone would marry my daughter!” Your mom jests, “All she ever does is sleep! I just wish a man would even look her way!”

Jungkook’s eyebrows pinch in bewilderment. He knew your mother was only joking, teasing you as per usual- because clearly, you are captivatingly gorgeous. You make a sly comment in return to make his mom giggle, always so smooth and sociable with the old ladies.

Suddenly, you randomly swivel around, yelping at Jungkook’s presence. “Oh hey,” you greet, fidgeting in place, “I didn’t know you were here. Sorry- I should cover up a little.”

For the first time in his life Jungkook is speechless in front of you. You. You just look so pretty standing in front of him, your manicured fingers twirling a single strand of hair, gazing at him and gnawing your lips like he makes you nervous when in reality you make him tremble with just one look. It makes his chest tighten and he inhales deeply to compose himself.

“No. Not at all, you should be comfortable in your own home,” the smile he offers you is forced, polite, and you’re bewildered at the tension accumulating between you and him. Your eyes glint downward; you can’t even look at him, and suddenly a bold wave of impulsivity washes over you.

“Hey Jungkook, can we talk in the other room?”

Jungkook’s eyes flash towards his mother’s then rapidly back at you. Subconsciously, his eyes trace down your body and he feels like has to physically gouge his eyes out to prevent himself from looking.

“Yea, sure.”

He follows you upstairs into the guest room, taking extreme measures to keep his pupils focused on the ceiling lights above your head. However, his efforts work against him because the ceiling lights shine on you like a spotlight, illuminating your gorgeous figure as you make your way up the stairs.

Your fingers wrap around his forearm and you pull him into the room.

You waste no time getting straight to the point.“Jungkook, I think I’m pregnant.”

Jungkook blinks, processing what you just said. “Huh?”

You bite your lip anxiously, crossing your arms while you look down at your toes. “My period is late, and I don’t know what to do- you’re the only person I trust to talk about this.”

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to confirm the sentiment. “You can trust me with anything. I’ll always take care of you- ‘m just a little shocked because I thought you were still a virgin.”

Gasping dramatically, you pout at him and stomp your foot. “I’m not a little kid anymore.”

Yea, clearly not, he thinks. “Just act normal. After I drop my mom off at home I’ll come back with a pregnancy test.”

You nod and give him a downward smile. “Thanks- ‘m just really nervous and I hope I’m not pregnant because I don’t even remember who the dad is and-“

Jungkook frowns at that, perturbation morphing onto his features. “Y/N, you don’t remember who the dad is? Please don’t do that- only sleep with people you trust. Please.”

“I trust you.”

The words tumble from your lips immediately, before you can even process your thoughts. You clasp your hand over your mouth, a small gasp leaving your lips as you gaze up at him in pure horror.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to think- doesn’t even know if that was just a fragment of his imagination. He blinks at you, brain too fused to even conjure a proper response.

“Wait- I didn’t mean it like that!” you blurt out. At that moment, you give up on any attempt to salvage the situation and scurry out of the room, stumbling back down the stairs.

Jungkook runs his hands over his face.

He’s going to hell for the thoughts running through his mind.

Thank God you weren’t pregnant but after that night Jungkook just never looked at you as just a family friend. It’s complicated . It’s morally conflicting, and it frustrates Jungkook like nothing else.

“Hello?” he speaks into the phone

“I bled on my bed,” you sniffle into the phone, “Just please come upstairs,” you say before abruptly hanging up.

He begrudgingly rises from his bed. Though tired, he doesn’t hesitate to throw his black t-shirt over his head to look presentable for when he checks up on you. Rubbing at his eyes with his knuckles, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his black sweats as he makes his way up the stairs. He gently opens the door to see you sitting idly under your covers, clinging onto your Snorlax plushie for dear life. You’re wearing

He sits on the edge of your bed. “You ran out of pads?”

You don’t say anything, remaining stiff like an ice sculpture, not melting under Jungkook’s warm touch like you usually do.

He nods at you and gently tugs on your oversized T-shirt, urging you to get up as he sticks out his hand. “Change the sheets and I’ll go out and buy you some pads-“

“Jungkook, I'm in love with you.”

Abrupt.

Impulsive.

Messy.

But you feel like you just have to say it. With a radiant glow on your rosy cheeks, you purse your lips in a demure manner, physically unable to look at him. You have to look at Snorlax to get your words out instead.

You inhale deeply. “I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry if it creeps you out but I’ve always had feelings for you- and I hate you for it because I don’t think I’ll ever have the capacity to love anyone else like I love you.” With glossy eyes you finally peer at him just to see an entirely indecipherable expression- you’re not sure if it conveys shock, bewilderment, or horror but it evokes the most unsettling and humiliating sensation in the pit of your stomach.

Just as day transforms into night, humiliation morphs into anger, and anger morphs into nonsensicality. Outrage bubbles within you and you chuck the Snorlax plushie at his face.

“Fuck you! How can you treat me the way you do and expect me not to feel anything?! I emotionally cheated on my ex with you! You’re the fucking worst and I hate you. I hate you so fucking much!” Your hands frantically search for every single squishmallow, plushie, and teddy bear you have and you violently chuck your beloved squishies at him. From zero to one hundred, you’ve escalated rapidly and you feel like you’ll die if you don’t convey everything to him right now, in this moment.

Jungkook remains stoic, somewhat resembling the statue of a Greek god: handsome and stagnant, not even flinching at the impact of your squishies hitting his built body or the way you nonsensically scream at him.

“This is all your fucking fault Jungkook. You ruined my life! You ruined love for me! I’ll never get a boyfriend, never get married, never have kids because of you! I’m going to die alone and it’ll be all your fucking fault! How could you do that to me? How could you do that to me?” You erupt into sobs, pushing your face into your hands as you violently cry. Snot, tears, and saliva leak from your face as the chagrin completely consumes you.

“Y/N.” The sound of Jungkook’s deep, baritone voice is barely audible over the sounds of your heaving.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He does sound sorry, but you can’t help but question the authenticity of his words because he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. It’s like he’s merely uttering an apology to appease you.

But for Jungkook, he’ll apologize a million times if it helps dry your tears. He never let his pride get in the way when it comes to you.

He sits at the edge of your bed, using his finger to tilt your chin up, revealing your disheveled, snotty, and glossy face. You whimper when your vision clears and focuses on him.

He wipes your face with your own shirt, tugging up the hem to absorb your tears, still gentle and attentive. You swat his hand away. “You need to stop doing that,” you mewl, blinking more tears from your eyes.

“You need to stop crying. It makes me sad,” he retorts, passing you the same Snorlax plushie you violently launched at him. You cushion the plushie on top of your thighs and bring your knees to your chest. You inhale and exhale deeply, trying to settle from your emotional high.

“You don’t even take me seriously,” you mumble, peeking up at him.

“I always take you seriously,” Jungkook responds, “but I want you to stop crying first-

“Jungkook, kiss me,” you breathe out, “If you don’t hate me, then kiss me,” you say, your eyes fluttering shut, delusionally- as if he was about to kiss you. Instead, you feel his large palm on your head, softly caressing your hair.

“I’m not gonna kiss you. You should get some rest.” His voice is deep, calm, and composed. How can he be so normal when you’re on the brink of losing your mind?

Your face scrunches up in indignation before you erupt in tears once again, practically screaming. “Fuck you! I hate you! I hate you!”

“Y/N.” He calls your name repeatedly.

“Y/N-”

“Shut the fuck up you asshole!”

“Y/N,” his voice becomes more stern with everytime he calls your name, but you don’t let him get a word in. You keep screaming at him, calling him every name in the book of insults, shaking him off every time he goes near you.

When he attempts to sit by you, you violently push him away. “Go away! I’m not a little kid anymore! I don’t fucking need you anymore! I’m gonna be single forever because of you! If you don’t want me to be single forever then just fucking leave and never come back!”

You’re aware that your words are horrible, but the overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shame erupting in your system prevents any rational train of thoughts from developing in your mind. You’re embarrassed and devastated that Jungkook doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and it sends you spiraling.

He attempts to calm you once more by sitting on your bed, but you push him even more violently. “Don’t fucking touch me! I’m never gonna find love because of you! Just fucking die, just leave forever if-”

He staggers on his feet, caught off balance from the force of your push, and for the first time in his life Jungkook yells at you.

“Y/N!”

Giving you no time to say or think anything, he seats himself on your makeup chair, tattooed hand gripping onto its top rail. “Y/N,” he scowls deeply at you, features blanketed in exasperation, “We’ll talk about this later, but you need to calm the fuck down. You’re hurting me when you talk like that.”

Your eyebrows furrow deeply in horror, your cheeks tear-stained and your eyes filled with sorrow. The haunting realization of what you just said settles into your system. Your quivering lips barely enunciate your words. “Kook, I’m so sorry,” you blubber out. “I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it. I promise I didn’t mean it!” You shoot up, stumbling over your own feet and collapsing onto the floor. You’re a mess. Your face glistens with a layer of your own snot, and your hair is matted and tangled, the result of the countless times you tugged at it during this interaction.

Unbeknownst to you, there's a red blotch near the lower hem of your T-shirt, and droplets of blood escape you and drip onto the floor as you stumble out of bed. Jungkook notices though, eyebrows pinching in concern as a very disturbed expression morphs on his face when you collapse to your knees, your trembling hands holding onto him for support. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it! It’s all my fucking fault!”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you sniffle. “I’m so sorry I said that. That was so horrible of me. Please don’t die. I’m so sorry.”

A sigh of vexation leaves his lips, but nonetheless he remains patient, compassionate towards the devastation that consumes your face. “I’m not gonna die.” He cups your face with his tattooed hand, and uses his thumb to wipe the idle tears on your face. “I forgive you. It’s okay.”

“Promise? Promise it’s okay? I’m so sorry,” you cry even more, desperately latching onto his hands, using the side of his fingers to wipe your eyes.

“It’s okay,” he confirms, tilting your head upwards before wiping your face with a makeup wipe from your vanity. “‘M really tired. I’m gonna go get your pads then I’ll be back.

You sniffle. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The smile he gives you is forced, and it makes you feel horrible.

He motions his head towards your bed. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when I come back.”

You tiredly listen to his words, getting under your covers and holding onto your Snorlax plush. “Good night Kook.”

“Night,” he says, somewhat emotionlessly, flickering the lights off and vacating your room.

Horrible. You wake up with puffy eyes, infinite eye boogers, and an awful pit in your stomach. The memories of last night come flooding in and you immediately check your phone to see if Jungkook texted you. There’s nothing there.

Why would he want to talk to you after what you did?

You decide to send him a text message to further emphasize how sorry you are.

You throw your phone on the bed and scream into the stomach of Snorlax.

Dry. He’s being so fucking dry and it’s all your fault.

The next few weeks are spent with you attempting to redeem yourself.

You have no idea why you’re in front of Jungkook’s work, let alone with a lunchbox cake in hand. Begrudgingly, you stumble inside the tall building, awkwardly smiling when you come face to face with the sweet old security man. Jungkook’s work place is fancy as hell. Every floor of the tower hosts the office of an aristocratic company. There are even enormous, airport-esque x-ray machines stationed towards the entrance. You have to walk through a metal detector to be granted access into the building.

“Why hello, young lady! What business do you have here today?”

“Um, I have a cake for someone. H-he works at HYBE Tech Solutions.”

“Alright, go ahead and put your bag and belongings here,” he says, motioning towards the tray on the X-ray machine conveyor belt. You watch as your belongings pass through the machine and come out on the other end. Then, you step through the metal detector, holding your arms up to be properly inspected. You bid the security man goodbye and walk towards the elevator.

An ominous feeling of stupidity washes over you as you press your fingers onto the elevator buttonsYou feel stupid. You feel dumb. You feel silly. You would never do this for a man, but here you are.

You take a deep breath before you stumble in, coming face to face with the lady that works at the front desk. Your eyes settle on the badge on her blouse. Dorothy. You vaguely remember Jungkook ranting about this woman, venting about how she crossed professional and ethical boundaries- often sneakily creeping her fingers up his chest while they spoke and even going as far as to dig into the company’s database for his personal information.

You clear your throat. “Hi, how’s your day been?”

“I’m great! Thanks for asking, hun. How can I help you today?” She asks, voice bubbly and uplifting, perfect for customer service.

“Oh! Um- I have something for Jungkook. He works in the tech department.”

Her bubbly and friendly atmosphere immediately diminishes, and she raises her eyebrows at you before eyeing you conspicuously. With a vacuous expression, she picks up the landline, pressing her thin fingers into the numbers. “Hey, can you let Jungkook know that there’s a child here for him?”

You purse your lips at that, rocking back and forth on your heels. You try to avoid eye contact with this woman by looking elsewhere- pupils frantically darting to the daisies on the front desk or the grandfather clock that sits idly against the beige walls- but she’s persistently staring you down.

Thank God Jungkook appears from the end of the hallway.

He sports a light blue button up and brown slacks, a stack of papers in his tattooed hand while the other rakes through his short hair. He looks delicious as ever and clearly Dorothy agrees because she practically moans as he walks down the hallway.

“Y/N?” He narrows his eyes in your direction, confirming that it’s really you.

“Um hi Kook. I brought you something.” You use two hands to present the styrofoam box to him.

Jungkook’s eyes scan from the lunchbox to you. He places the stack of papers on the front desk before accepting the box and popping open its lid. “A cake?” he questions, and you nod shyly, fidgeting in place.

“Thanks,” he plainly says, giving you an awkward smile before his eyes dart towards Dorothy, who is intensely scrutinizing the interaction. There is tension in the atmosphere, and Dorothy’s presence isn’t helping.

He clears his throat. “You didn’t have to, you should be studying,” he says, his words a little more light-hearted this time.

You shake your head. “I wanted to do this for you. I’m sorry for last night, Koo.”

He stares at you before letting a sigh escape his lips. “t’s okay Y/N. Told you I‘m not mad. We’ll talk about this later.”

You twiddle with your fingers, your puppy eyes flickering towards him.

“Hug?” he asks, cutting the tension, tilting his head while he holds his arms open. You pout, nodding before running into his arms. He holds you tight, and whispers into the top of your head so Dorothy wouldn’t catch heed of the conversation. “You made me sad last night, you know.”

“‘I’m sorry.”

“‘It's okay. I can never be mad at you for too long,” He subtly releases you from his embrace and pinches your cheek. “Now go home, okay?”

You take a step back and offer a nod. And for some reason, Jungkook feels that you’re looking at him as if you’ll never see him again. “Enjoy your cake.”

Jungkook smiles back, waving you goodbye. You turn to the office lady, who quickly averts her eyes once you notice her blatant eavesdropping. “Thank you auntie. Have a nice day!”

Jungkook has to physically restrain himself from laughing.

A heart emoji. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his most insignificant actions. You hold your phone to your chest and bite back a smile.

Loud music booms and vibrates through the walls of this massive mansion. There’s a huge pool, complete with a waterslide and waterfalls spilling into the pool. You’re surrounded by tons of other like-minded college kids, clad in nothing but a white lace bikini. You’re able to acknowledge that it isn’t the most tasteful outfit, but you feel good and you look good.

After jumping in the pool and violently pelting water balloons at each other (effectively scaring away all the hoes), you and Yunjin lie under a cabana mindlessly scrolling through your phones. You only look up from your phone when you sense Yunjin holding up her phone for a selfie. Jungkook would have rolled his eyes at the sight.

“Can I show you something?” you abruptly blurt out, eliciting a cynical look from your friend. “Is it bad?”

You immediately shake your head, composing your posture so you can properly show Yunjin your texts with Jungkook. Her eyes rapidly scan over the phone in moments and she shoots you a sly glance.

“So do you think?-”

“I don’t know… but I really, really, really hope that it means something. I don’t want him to see me as a little kid anymore, you know?” Bashfully, you smile at her, your demure expression a complete juxtaposition to your practically naked figure.

Yunjin cups your cheeks making your glossy lips pouty. “Y/N! You’re about to pull Jungkook!”

“I am?”

“Yes you are-”

Yunjin flinches dramatically when a harsh stream of water unexpectedly drenches you. You both whip your head to the culprit in question: Beomgyu standing directly in front of you with a massive water gun.

“You bitch!” Yunjin shoots up and runs after him with you rapidly following your partner in crime’s lead. But as you’re running towards Beomgyu (who maniacally screams and dashes), another stream hits you from the back.

The second culprit. Soobin. You sprint towards, latching your claws onto his white T-shirt him while you tug him towards the pool. “Wait Y/N! I just dried off. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

No mercy for this bitch.

You position yourself behind him, using your whole body to push him into the pool. Splash! You jump and squeal in excitement when he emerges from the water wiping his face with his hands. You laugh hysterically in his face, childishly pointing your finger at him, finding it even more hilarious when he gives you the stink eye. “That’s what you get, asshole!-“

You pause and shriek in horror.

Somebody just pulled on the strings of your bikini top, exposing your boobs to the entire party.

You instinctively crouch, shoving your chest into your knees.The gasp of horror that leaves Soobin’s lips mirrors yours, and he immediately springs into action, rapidly lifting himself from the pool and sprinting after whatever asshole just violated you.

“Y/N!” Your savior, Yeonjun appears in front of you, crouching to your level. He rapidly rids himself of his shirt and pulls it over your entire figure. “You’re good, you’re good,” he whispers calmly to you, trying to prevent you from having a full blown panic attack. You stand up reticently, folding your arms over your chest, eyes trained on the ground and only looking at Yeonjun’s feet to gauge which direction you’re heading in.

“You okay?” Yeonjun settles under the cabana. “That guy is such a dick,” he mutters to himself.

You nod and sink into the cushion of the outdoor-couch. “I’m so fucking embarassed.”

Attempting to salvage the situation, Yeonjun immediately shakes his head. “No, no. Nobody saw anything.” You shoot him a skeptical look, knowing damn well everybody in the party saw your bare boobs.

“Is that Jungkook?”

You immediately whip your head towards the left, and indeed Jungkook is walking your way. You can’t believe he’s real. All heads whip in his direction as he makes his way towards you. He flicks his head back to prevent hair from falling in front of his eyes, barefoot, black T-shirt, and gray shorts. He looks so handsome you can’t even comprehend it.

“Y/N!” He shouts, quicklyducking under the roof of the cabana before he positions himself in front of you. He inhales and exhales deeply, the blistering sun forming particles of sweat on his forehead.

You look up at him and your heart melts. The sheen of sweat on his face, the way his eyes fixate on you. Your heart skips a beat. You want to cry. Again. Out of embarrassment, and how emotional you become at Jungkook’s mere presence.

You bury your head into your knees, making Jungkook's eyebrows pinch. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Yeonjun opens his mouth, hesitatingly glancing at you to confirm if telling Jungkook is okay.

You shoot up and practically catapult yourself onto Jungkook, latching onto him like a Koala. “Nothing happened,” you say, nuzzling your face into his shirt. “Come swim with me. Please.”

Jungkook sighs, using his large palm to tame your frizzy stray hairs. “Y/N. We need to go home.”

You cock your head in confusion.“Wait why?”

His voice becomes oddly stern. “Y/N. It’s important and we have to go home.”

“To your place or mine?”

“My place. Just follow me.”

You haven’t a clue as to why Jungkook is behaving so urgently, but you follow him nonetheless. You pick up your purse and give Yeonjun a quick hug, running after Jungkook who cooly breezes past everyone, not a single person missing the hot guy who suddenly showed to the party.

Jungkook opens his car door for you and allows you to step in.

“Jungkook… is something going on?”

“Yes, there is,” he says grimacing slightly, shutting the door for you before he climbs into the driver’s seat.

This nauseating anxiety bubbles inside you and sends chills up your spine, making you flinch when Jungkook closes the car door on his side. Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just looks behind his shoulder to reverse from his parking spot before zooming out of there.

“Is this because of what happened the other night?” you ask, and he glances at you quickly.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Well.. are we going to talk about it?” you push, twiddling with your fingers.

Jungkook shakes his head, noticing your trembling fingers in his peripheral view. He reaches over and puts his hand on top of yours. “Not now.”

You don’t respond, shifting in confusion.

“Here,” Jungkook starts, throwing his phone in your lap, “You can play whatever song you want.”

You purse your lips and silently nod.

Sooner or later, you arrive at Jungkook’s apartments, and he leads you up the stairs and sits you on his black leather couch.

He cups your face with both hands, caressing the apples of your cheek with his thumbs. With your eyebrows pinched, you peer into Jungkook’s eyes, conveying your confusion through your scrunched facial features.

“Y/N, before I tell you what I want to tell you, I want you to take a few breaths. Just know that I’m always here for you.”

You nod steadily, pretty facial features still crinkled in confusion.

“Y/N, your parents were in a car accident, and they didn’t make it.”

“What?”

And as the haunting realization settles into your system, all you can remember are your shrieks of terror echoing throughout his apartment and the way Jungkook holds you against his body while he wipes your tears and assuages your loud cries.

The few days that proceed are a blur, but Jungkook takes care of you and is far more attentive than he ever has been. You cling onto him like fragile glass ornament hanging from a delicate thread- like he was all you had left because he was all you had left. He was your spring solace after a harsh winter, and the way he treated you indicated as much.

Jungkook works from home so you aren’t alone. For the entire day, you sit on his bed and watch him work. You eavesdrop on his meetings, falling asleep to the sound of his voice and whenever you wake up Jungkook ensures that he feeds you, constantly worried about your inability to eat.

You’re queasy just thinking about going back to your house, so your daily and nightly attire consist of pieces from Jungkook’s wardrobe. You haven’t verbally acknowledged what has happened- not ready to talk about the death of your parents. You’re just trying to survive, and you feel like you’re barely making it.

Thankfully, all your friends and family have been extremely helpful trying to get you through your grief. Jungkook’s mother stays with you for a few days, and after that Yunjin sleeps over with you for a few days- but you know that a piece of your heart has been ruthlessly ripped form you.

“Y/N, you need to take a shower,” Jungkook expresses, obstructing your view of the TV. His toothbrush hangs from his mouth, toothpaste residue bubbling around the perimeter of his lips. You owlishly blink at him, observing how his expression hardens at your look of indifference.

You scoot towards the left end of the couch, hoping to get a clear view of Ever After High projected on his flat screen TV.

“Y/N you haven’t showered in three days,” Jungkook interjects, “Please take a shower.”

“I will. Later.”

He pushes up his glasses, staring at you with intense disapproval. “Y/N,” he says sternly, trying to be gentle despite his qualms.

You acquiesce, pouting at him. “Okay, fine. Later.”

His frown deepens. “Y/N.”

You chew on your bottom lip, deeply contemplating what Jungkook has asked of you. His large frame remains frozen in front of you. No matter how you position yourself on the couch, he renders you unable to watch the princesses prance around on the TV.

“Okay… but will you at least come with me? I don’t want to be without you.”

Jungkook pauses.

“I don’t mean like getting in with me, but will you just sit on the toilet and talk to me?” You ask, sinking into the leather of his sofa and using your sweater paws to sweep your hair back.

“Yea, I’ll do that.”

Once you step in the shower, you close the curtains, and strip yourself from your clothes, handing the pile of clothes to Jungkook. You turn on the water, yelping at the sensation on your body. Jungkook was right. You needed this and you kind of do smell like butthole.

“Wait Y/N, do you want me to go to your house and get you underwear?”

After folding up your (his) T-shirt and boxers, he notices that you haven’t been wearing any undergarments.

“No!” you call back, “I don’t want you to go there! Not yet,” you call back.

“Then do you want me to buy you some?” he responds, placing the folded clothes on the bathroom counter.

“Um, maybe we can order some on Amazon.”

“Just send me the link and I’ll place the order.”

“Okay.”

A wave of silence washes over the bathroom, and you peek your head from the shower curtain to see what Jungkook’s up to: scrolling on Instagram. On his screen is some instagram model’s bikini pic, his fingers pausing on the screen so he can look at the photo.

“Who is that?” you ask, making Jungkook jump in his seat.

“What the- Y/N, just take your shower!” Jungkook feigns annoyance but can’t help himself but scoff in amusement at how petty you can be.

“Is she prettier than me?” you ask, glaring at Jungkook with disapproval.

Jungkook purses his lips and tugs the shower curtain past your face and holds it against the wall, preventing you from peeking your pretty head past the curtain. He holds it there for a good minute, unfazed by the thrashing against the shower curtain.

Swish.

You swipe open the shower curtain from the other side. Your eyes bore into Jungkook’s and Jungkook thinks you’re foolish not to realize how alluring and sultry you are. Your bare body is akin to a sculpture of the goddess Aphrodite. Water drips from the crevices of your body and you gaze at him with anticipation etched onto your face. You’re just standing there, but your posture is so seductive- or maybe it’s just the natural curvature of your body.

“Why don’t you join me?” your sweet voice makes his Adam's apple bob in his throat.

When he doesn’t respond, your features morph into humiliation, regret consuming you. You nod your head. “Sorry Kook, I’ll just-”

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous. Any man can see how lovely you are. Honestly, you take my breath away every time I see you,” Sensing the trepidation on your face, he solidifies his claim, “I mean it Y/N. You’re beautiful, and I want to join you but I’m not going to. You’re hurting right now and I don’t want to do anything to take advantage of you.”

And he isn’t lying, he yearns for every kind of contact with you, but he’s not going to go through with this. Not when you’re traumatized from the death of your parents. Not when you’ve been so unhinged for the past week, refusing to even shower.

You stare at him for a second, dazy eyed and your eyes darting around the room. “Okay Jungkook. I’m sorry.”

He smiles sweetly at you and gently closes the shower curtain. “It’s okay Y/N. I’m gonna head to my room. You’re welcome to come visit me anytime.”

Boys’ night. Jungkook being the handsome stud he is, happens to have friends that are also handsome studs. Jungkook offered to postpone boys’ night but you declined his attempts to make you more comfortable. Jungkook has exerted so much effort to take care of you. There’s no reason for him to forgo time with his best friends. Besides, you can always hide in your room.

You crack your door open slightly ajar, peeking through the crack to spy on Jungkook and his friends. Antisocial is the perfect word to describe you.

The sound of the doorbell ringing was your cue to lock yourself in your room. Jungkook knocked a few times, but you were too scared of other people that you didn’t even grace him with a response.

Clearly Jungkook got the message because he opted to leave a greasy piece of pizza outside your door, sending you a quick text message about it.

You just wanted to scout the scene, see who was there. Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon. Soju bottles are scattered around the table, and there’s some music blaring from the TV. You’ve met everyone here a few times- they all know you, but you aren’t close with Jungkook’s friends like he is with your friends.

“Oh Y/N! Come join us!” You freeze at Mingyu’s words, and all eyes in the room whip towards your direction.

“Umm..” you close the door gently and leap into the safety of your bed.

You overhear their banter through the wooden door. “Hey! Why are you making little kids uncomfortable!” Jimin yells, slapping Mingyu on the neck.

Your lip quivers, and you inhale deeply, gathering the courage to step outside of the room. You quickly put on deodorant, and step out stealthily, taking a seat next to Namjoon on the couch. No one seems to notice you, and you tap on his shoulder. Namjoon whips his head towards you, the confusion on his face melting into fondness.

“Hi,” you squeak out, fiddling with your fingers.

“Hi Y/N,” Namjoon greets, the kindness laced in his voice assuaging the trepidation bubbling on your inside. Jungkook’s red lava lamp illuminates the room with shades of crimson, and your eyes flutter shut when a ray of light shines on your face.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon inquires, holding his hand up to shield you from the light.

“Yea, I’m fine,” you blink a few times. You don’t say anything, just awkwardly take a bite of your pizza while your eyes dart around the room.

Namjoon doesn’t seem to know what to say to you either, so the two of you just sit and eat pizza in silence. For a moment, your eyes lock. You owlishly blink at him and he blinks at you for a good minute.

But then, to your surprise, Namjoon sets his pizza down, opening his arms. Your features scrunch up, and you let yourself melt into his warm embrace, glossy tears rolling down your face.

“I’m so sorry about what happened,” he expresses, gently caressing the back of your head with his palm. You sniffle. “t’s okay,” you sob, “but I’m so sad. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You’ll get through this. We’re always here for you.”

His words invoke a tornado of intense feelings in your system, and your strong facade crumbles as you become vulnerable in Jungkook’s friend’s embrace. By this point, everyone has noticed your presence, and suddenly the night becomes about you.

After wiping your tears with the back of your hand, you find yourself sitting in between Jungkook and Namjoon in a “friendship circle”. It’s quite cute that these grown men still sit criss-cross applesauce in a circle, but you’re overjoyed that you’re welcome to the group.

“I brought you a cake Y/N,” Taehyung announces, handing you a lunchbox cake. With your doe eye, you look towards him before opening the lid of the cake. A lunchbox cake with Snorlax’s face iced on the top. “Jungkook mentioned that you really liked Pokemon, so I thought you’d find this cute,” he continues, slightly trailing off. You’re Strong! Is what it reads, and you fall into pieces, your features crumpling up before you burst into tears.

Jungkook laughs in fondness at the vulnerability of your reaction, wrapping a single arm around your frame.

“Th-thank you,” you sniffle, offering Taehyung a crooked smile. “Can we eat it together? I don’t want to get f-fat.”

At that, a chorus of no’s echo through the room, and you giggle a bit.

Your heart is incredibly full. Family. Friends. People who care about you. This is something your soul desires, something your soul needs.

The night meets its unfortunate end, and you stand in front of Jungkook as you bid his friends goodbye. Before the boys walk away, you find your fingers clinging onto the hem of Jimin’s oversized shirt. Before he ventures off, he turns around and graces you with an endearing look of confusion. “What’s up?”

“Can I come with you?” you spout.

“You want to sleep over at our place?” Jimin questions, gingerly scratching the back of his head.

You shake your head steadily, “I just want to talk to you,” you clarify, gazing up at him shyly. Jimin’s eyes dart towards Jungkook’s for approval and Jungkook nods his head. “Go ahead. I’ll give you guys privacy,” he pinches your cheek affectionately before closing the door. You stand on your tiptoes, peeking through the window of the apartment to ensure that Jungkook isn’t eavesdropping.

Jimin leans against the railings, observing you carefully.

You tug on the hem of Jimin’s tee, urging him to follow you to the lobby of Jungkook’s apartment. He follows in your stead, not questioning you until your actions pause. You shift around uncomfortably for a bit, and you look up at him. Taking a deep breath, you find the courage to ask him the question that’s been lingering in the back of your mind.

“Do you think Jungkook and I could ever.. be a thing?” you finally question, shifting your weight between your feet, a crimson sheen sweeping over your cheeks.

Jimin’s eyebrows pinch, and he repeatedly opens and closes his mouth, looking for the right words to say. “Like romantically?”

Your eyes cumbersomely drift towards the painting behind Jimin. “Y-yea. I really like him, and I want him to be my boyfriend- and I know he’s attracted to me but won’t act on his feelings because of his ethical qualms,” you stutter out, pursing your lips after seeing how Jimin’s face morphs into astonishment.

“Well, I don’t think Jungkook is seeing anyone right now- but Y/N, if I’m going to be totally honest, I don’t think you and Jungkook being a romantic pair would be appropriate. I mean, he’s known you since you were a kid. Even if he does like you, I don’t think he would cross those boundaries.” he very gently explains, meticulously finding the correct wording to not hurt your feelings.

You bite your lip bitterly, sinking into the realization of his assertion. “Yea, you’re right. I don’t know. I guess it’s just a stupid crush,” you dismiss your confession with a wave and offer Jimin a shy smile.

Jimin pouts at your invalidation of your own feelings. “Don’t say that. I know you’ll find someone who cherishes and loves you. Someone you deserve,” he asserts. You smile at him, nodding before he ruffles your hair and leads you back up the stairs.

Someone you love.

Would you ever find it in yourself to love anybody that wasn’t him? Jungkook has successfully monopolized your heart, your soul, your very being.

Ping!

Tonguing his cheek, Jungkook impatiently and abruptly brakes at a red light, accelerating rapidly when the light turns green. He changes from his casual clothes to a black sleeveless shirt, loose leather pants, and a beanie. Mingyu sits on the passenger seat, frantically typing on his laptop as Jungkook zooms down the highway at record pace.

Breaking into a frat house to terrorize some dumb college kids definitely wasn’t a part of the plan tonight, but Jungkook was down for some last minute terrorism.

“So what are you gonna do? Threaten the kid? Call the cops?”Taehyung questions from the backseat, both hands gripping on the headrest of Mingyu and Jungkook’s seats.

“Look, I’m really trying to not sound corny, but I’m going to torture him,” Jungkook enunciates, which evokes a few seconds of silence.

“This bitch-”

“He’s lost his fucking mind,” Mingyu mumbles.

Jungkook laughs to himself, amused by the comments of his friends. Jungkook is an intelligent, rational person. Normally, he wouldn’t take it this far but he deems it extremely necessary for this particular situation.

“What the- now he’s creepily laughing to himself-”

“If we tell Y/N about this she’s going to be scared of you,” Mingyu abruptly comments, shooting Jungkook a pointed look.

Jungkook pauses, seemingly deeply considering the utterance of his friend, toying with his lip ring for a while he finally makes a comment. “I won’t do anything bad. I’ll just intimidate him a little.”

His friends sigh, not pressing further on the matter because Mingyu and Taehyung were pissed off too. Instead, Mingyu rolls down the windows of the car, allowing the breeze of the cool night to consume the interior of the car.

Jungkook considers this very night a milestone in your healing process. You isolated yourself in his apartment for two consecutive weeks, your grief severely limiting your social capacity and ability to normally interact with people. His friends were privy to your situation, purposely not coming to Jungkook’s home out of respect for you. But tonight, the color that reappeared in your aura overwhelmed his heart with joy.

While you were on the couch, talking to Namjoon about something, Jungkook got an alarming text from one of your friends- Yeonjun. Jungkook is cool with your friends, but not close enough to be sending private text messages, so his eyes brows pinch in concern when he sees the notification pop up from his phone.

Mingyu’s eyes drifted towards Jungkook, who was noticeably brimming with indignation. Jungkook scoffed to himself, a macabre smirk on his lips before he laughed erratically at the message. He repeatedly wiped his face with his hand, chuckling in amusement. Jungkook discreetly passed his phone to Mingyu without a word, with Taehyung looking over his shoulder, both of them gasping at the message.

This whole time, you were oblivious to the scheme Jungkook was contriving and Jungkook intended to keep it that way. You were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and Jungkook would cut his limbs off to lessen that burden. The indignation and resentment bubbling within him threatens to erupt because he’s so fucking pissed off.

You’re everything to him, and the thought of you being violated makes him want to indulge in his violent impulses. He can’t imagine how you would feel knowing that video spread around, and usually he would confide with you about these things but right now he needs to sweep this under the rug and make sure it never comes back up.

Luckily, he and Mingyu both have degrees in computer engineering and know how to hack into technical infrastructures.

Jungkook pulls up to the frat house, rolling the window down steadily before he rests his elbow on the ledge of the window. He sits there for a second, toying with his lip ring while his eyes bore into the interior of the house. He’s sure he looks creepy as hell- just staring into the house.

After a few minutes of waiting in silence, some guy arises from the house and approaches the car.

Jungkook keeps his lips sealed until he’s close enough to perceive his features.

“Uh is there something yall need?” the guy asks, innocently scratching the back of his head.

“Yea,” Jungkook responds, voice firm and somewhat chilling, “Your name Josh?”

“Yea? What’s up-”

Jungkook kicks the door open, knocking Josh over until he’s rolled on the floor, clutching his leg as he shrieks in pain.

“Oh shit, are we really doing this?” Taehyung mutters before joining Jungkook outside the car.

Jungkook sits on top of Josh, continuously punching the shit out of him before he spits on the kid’s face. He uses a single hand to lift him by the collar, and violently pushes him against the car. “You mad Y/N rejected you? So you pulled that shit?” Jungkook menaces, his face centimeters away from Josh’s.

Josh whimpers, crying- too horrified to coherently respond. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he pleads, tears and snot streaming down his ugly face.

“Shut the fuck up!” Jungkook repeatedly bangs Josh against the car. “I’m gonna say this shit once and I’m not going to repeat myself,” he seethes, satisfied by the way Josh whimpers and nods his head pathetically.

“You’re not shit. You’ll never ever be good enough for Y/N. You’re the same as the shit on the bottom of my shoe,” he breathes against Josh’s face, who whimpers and cries, “If I ever see you messing with Y/N ever again- I will ruin your whole life.”

Josh nods, unable to do anything else.

“Got it?” Jungkook seethes, pushing Josh’s head against the car door.

“Got it!”

“Good. We’re going inside, and you guys are going to watch us go through all of your iClouds, and we’re going to delete every single copy of the video there is, alright?”

“Yes! Yes! That’s fine! I’m sorry!”

Jungkook scoffs in amusement at his despicable demeanor, before he throws Josh on the ground and enters the house.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Mingyu mumbles, following Jungkook’s lead into the house.

You anxiously wait for Jungkook to return home, absentmindedly toying with the Switch to distract from the hysterical thoughts frantically racing through your mind. You’ve done everything you could to distract yourself, your restless heart aching to do something of substance.

You’ve been isolating yourself from society for the past month simply because you can’t bring yourself to leave Jungkook’s home, as if it was your safe haven.

You dread the moment you have to return to your home, memories of your family coming to mind. You’ve been trying to avoid thinking about everything, and you reckon that it’s time to process everything. There are aspects of grief that you find unfathomable- questions you have that make you want to throw up.

What will happen to the home that holds the memories of your family within its walls? How will you assimilate back into society without your father, without your mother? You’re not confident that it will ever be the same, and your heart sinks into your stomach at the notion- but you have to be resilient; you have to face it.

It feels worse to avoid the reality of your life than to face it head on.

You’re pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the doorknob turning.

“Jungkook!” The way you call his name is breathless, and his eyebrows pinch in concern when you pounce on him. Nonetheless, he allows you to nuzzle into his embrace and he soothingly rubs your back- like he always does.

“Wasn’t gone that long,” Jungkook absentmindedly comments.

“I know- just missed you. I’m sorry for being clingy,” you murmur, to which Jungkook shakes his head at the absurdity of your words.

“Not at all. Stay here for as long as you want. I’ll take you with me wherever I go,” he adds, settling into the leather of his sofa. You shuffle after him like a cute little penguin, sitting your ass directly next to Jungkook despite the vacant empty space on your right side.

“Then am I allowed to sit next to you?”

Jungkook’s features crinkle up in amusement, nose scrunching as he laughs lightly at how cute you are. He pinches your cheek, “It’s one thousand dollars for every minute you’re within a five foot radius of me,” he comments, tone stoic and firm.

He doesn’t have to look in your direction to visualize the way your pretty lips fall open, swatting at his bicep for his cruel words. “Jungkook, I don’t have that money! You know I only have 35 cents in my bank account!”

“Okay, then go sit over there,” Your eyes follow the trail of his pointed finger, the corner of the room.

“Fine! You fucking asshole,” you mutter bitterly, jumping up from the couch and stomping away with a hmph, until Jungkook slyly wraps his hand around the circumference of your wrist and pulls you to him. You collapse onto the couch, your back against his chest, and your butt between his legs.

He clings onto you, almost suffocating you with the way he wraps his arms around you, grabbing his elbows as he locks his arms over your head. “‘M just kidding- you know that. I can’t survive without my baby either, y’know?”

Your chest erupts with butterflies, and you hold onto his forearm with both of your hands. “I know.”

The next day, you return to school. Your professors were so empathetic and understanding to the nuance and confusion of your situation, allowing you to complete your coursework from the comfort of Jungkook’s home.

Grief isn’t a linear process. Though you’ve found it in you to return to school, it’s the mundane and the typical that you’re becoming increasingly bothered by.

No one in your Philosophy class is paying attention to this movie, clearly. You can tell by the lit up screens scattered within the clusters of students, and you aren’t diligent enough to not be one of those students, doodling flowers and Snorlax’s on your paper.

For the second you do look up at the movie, your heart stops. It’s always the most mundane, irrelevant details that get to you. The scene barely occupies a minute and it makes your chest tighten in the worst way possible.

The main character walks down the wedding aisle, her arm linked with her father’s. The haunting realization settles in your system- you will never ever experience that. You begin hyperventilating, your hand crumpling the paper, and you quickly rest your forearms on the table before shoving your face into your forearms. People are already looking at you and you can’t fathom the humiliation so you stay like that until class is dismissed.

You finally lift your head, rubbing your eyes to adjust the blinding ceiling lights.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You shriek at the unexpected voice and whip your head to the left.

“Hey hey hey- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he breathes out, rolling his chair towards you before rolling back so as to not scare you further.

“No no, you’re good,” you breathe out, inhaling and exhaling to bring you down from your petrified high. “Just having a shitty day,” you explain, sweeping away the hair dried to your face by your tears.

He seems to be unable to conjure a proper response, peering at you with an empty gaze and you sink in your seat, feeling the need to further explain yourself. “Well there was that part in the movie where Emma got married, and that made me feel horrible because I recently lost my dad.. And my mom.”

“Wait, I’m sorry. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he articulates, “I just noticed you haven’t been in class for a while and was kinda worried when I saw you crying. I’m sorry if I pushed your boundaries.”

“You know me?”

His lips tug up in embarrassment as he gingerly scratches the back of his neck. “Well we usually sit next to each other so I thought we formed an acquaintanceship or something,” he mumbles.

“Oh I’m sorry,” you pout at him, “I usually tap out during class so I never noticed you. What’s your name by the way?” You shyly stick out your hand, and he gives you a straight lined smile before shaking your hand gently.

“Sunghoon. I-I’m really sorry for your loss by the way,” he adds, and you find his nervousness quite endearing. You shyly smile at him, and he gazes back at you with similar amity. He ever so softly pulls your wrist towards his and scribbles his number onto your forearm. “Feel free to text me if you ever need help with homework. You missed a lot of school,” he offers, and you find yourself giggling at his forth forwardness.

“Thanks Sunghoon."

When Jungkook returns from work that night, the first thing he’s met with is you shoving your boots on, seemingly ready for a vivacious night out. Your figure is adorned with a white satin slip on dress, and your hair is put up in an elegant updo. Jungkook pauses, eyes settling on your figure before scanning up to your face; he thinks this is the first time he’s seen you with makeup on since he wiped away the mascara running down your cheeks the day he broke the news.

“Hey daddy,” you purr, “Where have you been? The kids have been waiting for you,” you giggle, sliding your mini purse down your arm.

Jungkook narrows his eyes at you, humorously scoffing at your corny choice of words.

You giggle, skipping towards him before jumping onto him, latching around his neck before you whisper in his ear. “‘m going out with my friends, don’t wait for me to get home because I might stay the night with Yunjin.”

Jungkook stiffens, remaining frozen while you back up from him.

“So, do I look like an angel, or what?”

“Always look cute,” because despite the infesting irritation bubbling in his system, he would never not tell you how it is. You are cute, always cute, always like an angel.

“Thanks,” you giggle, skipping towards the door but before you can skip past him, he latches onto your wrist. “Wait.”

You tilt your head, slightly confused. “I bought something for you.”

He digs in his backpack and pulls it out. Nipple pasties. “You never wear a bra, so I thought you’d be safer if you put these on before you go out.”

“You were the one who said I had small tits!”

“Okay, well you still have nipples- so at least put these on to keep you safe.”

You narrow your eyes at him, but he doesn’t back down. You snatch the pasties from his hand and march into the bathroom. “Fine!”

Jungkook lounges on the couch, eyes trained on you before you bid him goodbye and skip out of his apartment. He inhales deeply to settle the erratic palpitations in his chest. He needs to stop being so protective of you.

Your arms linked with Yunjin, you skip around from one club to the next, dancing and partying your little hearts out. When the night comes to a close you prance to the local ramen shop around your campus. From a distance, you can already make out Jungkook casually speaking with his friends. He’s always so animated when he’s with his friends, dramatically gesturing and hip thrusting in the air while his friends laugh at his immature jokes. He’s got a cigarette between his pointer and middle finger, taking slow puffs, allowing the smoke to fill his lungs before he tilts his head to exhale a long plume of smoke into the atmosphere.

That’s right. Jungkook smokes occasionally but never lets you do it. What a hypocrite.

His eyes drift off for a second until they land on you, and his lips curl up in your presence.

“Well look, if it isn’t my favorite girl,” he teases, letting out low laughter at the way you crimson when all his friends’ heads whip in your direction.

You narrow your eyes at him, giving him a dirty look that Jungkook cooes at. Even when you were trying to intimidate him you akin to a cute Snorlax, so adorable, eyebrows pinched and lips pouted- how could he feel anything but adoration at that?

“Aw angel,” he jests, throwing your words right back at you, “Don’t ignore me, ‘m sorry for teasing you,” he catches you as you walk past him, pulling you towards his chest before resting his chin on top of your head.

He casually smiles at Yunjin. “How’s my angel been doing? Has she been behaving?”

Yunjin’s jaw drops at the bold statement and you attempt to wrestle out of his firm embrace to berate him.

Just kidding. It’s getting late, though. Do you girls need a ride home?” he asks, finally letting you go just for you to stumble out of his grip and almost land on your face, but luckily Jungkook pulls your shoulders back without even looking in your direction.

“Jungkook, it’s literally 10,” you deadpan.

“Oh c’mon, I don’t want you girls to get kidnapped or something,” he snarkily responds.

“How about you give us some money instead?” Yunjin jests, clearly joking, but Jungkook takes it so, so seriously. He raises a brow at both of you. “How much do you need?”

“Wait no- I was kidding,” Yunjin quickly clarifies, her ears becoming slightly red, “you don’t have to..”

Jungkook looks from you to her, then back at you before whipping out his phone, taking another puff of his cigarette before blowing the smoke upwards, careful so you don’t inhale any smoke.

Ping!

Your eyebrows pinch in confusion when you get a notification, and you unzip your mini purse to grab your phone, allowing the screenlight to illuminate your pretty features.

JEON JUNGKOOK HAS TRANSFERRED YOU 500 DOLLARS VIA HYBETRANSFER.

“250 each, alright?” Jungkook laughs, taking another puff of his cigarette before he saunters off, his friends pushing him around and teasing him.

“Ayo, when did Jeon turn into a sugar daddy?”

You and Yunjin are left dumbfounded, even more so when Jungkook turns around and makes kissy lips at you.

You fall to your knees.

The next morning is the weekend.

You absentmindedly chomp on your cereal, eyes still crusty and mind still hazy from the morning daze. Jungkook arises from his bedroom, hair still messy and sticking out in various directions- but he still looks as handsome as ever, the tired and morning glow suiting him wondrously.

“So, I’m planning a trip with my friends at the beach. We’ll stay in an AirBnb. You wanna come with?”

You pause, features crinkling up in confusion. “Which friends? The ones from last night or Mingyu and them?”

“Mingyu, Tae, Jimin, Namjoon,” he counts off, before shrugging, “I already planned to take you with me so it’s not like you have a choice anyways.”

You scoff to yourself in amusement. “Aren’t you being too forceful?”

Jungkook narrows his eyes and graces you with a look of skepticism. “So you don’t want to go? or..”

“No!” you rapidly interject as you shoot up, clearing your throat and regaining your composure at the way Jungkook smirks at you.

You settle back into your seat. “I do want to go,” you exhale, “but do I have to pay for my own room or something? I’m broke.”

“Oh, I was just gonna have you stay in my room,” Jungkook responds, trailing off as he tries to detect any trace of apprehension on your features, “Is that alright with you?”

You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath until you breathlessly exhale. “That’s perfect.”

So that’s how you found yourself at the beach, in nothing but your black bikini, prancing around the waves with Taehyung.

“Jungkook watch!” you call as you swivel around towards Jungkook, who’s applying sunscreen to his legs, not really paying attention to what you were doing.

You stand in front of the upcoming wave, holding your arms out as if you were going to embrace the wave. “I’m going to stand against the wave!”

At that, Jungkook whips his head upwards, eyebrows pinching in worry as he shoots up. “Tae! Get her! She’s gonna get swept in by-“

And on cue, the wave collapses over you and you tumble into the unwelcoming water. “Motherfuck-“ You thrash and scream, powerless against the unforgiving currents until a pair strong arms pull you from your armpits and drags you to the sand.

“Holy shit Y/N, are you alright?” Taehyung asks, crouching beside you as he pats your back, allowing you to cough the water up.

“Y/N that was so dumb,” you hear Jungkook’s voice as he approaches you, crouching beside you as he hands you his black steel water bottle. “Take a sip,” he urges, and you nod shakily, grasping the bottle with both hands before you take a sip from it.

“I’m okay. Thanks for saving me Taehyung,” you smile at him and he releases a sigh of relief. “You scared the shit out of us!”

You gulp down the water and close the cap, returning his bottle to him. “Sorry, I won’t do that again, but can we get back to playing now?” you smile as you playfully fling a ball of wet sand at Jungkook.

Jungkook closes his eyes on impact, scoffing in amusement before he grabs you by your legs, signalling Taehyung to grab your arms before they both lift you and run into the ocean.

Jungkook waits outside your shared room, knuckles softly knocking on the wooden door. A towel loosely wrapped around his lower waist, water drips from every crevice on his body, but he can’t enter until you’re done changing.

“Oki! I’m done!” you call out, opening the door for him, a towel in your hand as you use it to scrunch up your damp hair.

“Wow. You’re really muscular,” you giggle, fingers hovering over his abs before you look up at him for approval to feel, to which he gently pushes your head aside and waltzes into the room.

When he’s done changing he beckons you back to the room, and you plop in the king sized bed, belly down and legs swinging back and forth in the air.

Jungkook lies down beside you, resting his head on the pillow as he scrolls aimlessly on his phone, only looking over when he hears your ringtone go off.

You answer the call almost immediately.

“Oh hey Sunghoon!” you greet, shooting up from the bed to touch up your appearance in the facetime camera.

Sunghoon. Jungkook knows all your friends and he hasn’t heard that name before.

“Hey Y/N, how’s your vacation going?” Sunghoon asks, and you take a seat at the desk, propping your phone up against the wall. You twirl an idle piece of hair around your fingers. “It’s really fun here, I feel great,” you explain, “so what’s up?”

“You look like you’re having fun- wait, is there someone in the room with you?”

You rapidly turn around and look at Jungkook, then tilt your phone at an angle where he isn’t visible. “Oh, he’s just a family friend, do you want me to go somewhere more private?”

“Oh no that’s cool, I was just wondering but I called to ask you about the homework…”

A family friend? Jungkook scowls at that. Wordlessly, he breezes past you and exits the room, closing the door and sits next to Jimin on the couch.

Jimin takes a few moments to acknowledge Jungkook’s presence. “Hey, is there anything going on between you and Y/N?” Jimin finally asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern when he perceives Jungkook’s sour face.

Jungkook pauses. “Why are you asking?”

Jimin shrugs. “I don’t know. Don’t you know she has a crush on you? Isn’t it inappropriate for you two to be sharing a room?” Jimin continues, nudging Jungkook with his elbow.

At that, Jungkook buries his face into his palms. He’s let this go on for far too long. “I know,” Jungkook murmurs, voice projection muffled by his hands.

“You know? The other day she asked me if it was possible between you two and I straight up told her that you wouldn’t go for it.”

Jungkook remains wordless at that, and he thinks he’s developed an idea of the reality of the situation.

Jungkook was too scared to address the subject with you; he let it linger for far too long. He didn’t want to burden you with anything else besides what you already had on your plate, and you got in your head about it. He never explicitly stated that he more than reciprocates your feelings, leaving you dangling on a string.

He’s going to fix that.

“No Jimin, that’s not it,” Jungkook clarifies, wiping his face with his palms. “I like her too, and I’m going to tell her tonight,” he states firmly, slightly craning his head to gauge Jimin’s reaction. His reaction isn’t what Jungkook expected. Instead of a look of concern, worry, or horror, Jimin looks over the moon.

“Well shit! I wish I knew that before! You guys look perfect together!” he exclaims before eagerly patting Jungkook on the back.

Jungkook raises his eyebrows at his friend. “Really? Don't you think I should wait a little longer? Until she's ready?”, to which Jimin simply shakes his head.

“Y/N's an adult. She can handle herself. I thought you wouldn't go for it because of the age gap, though. I guess I shouldn't have told her that," he says gingerly, scratching the back of his head. ”Sorry Kook."

Jungkook doesn't say anything, seemingly in deep contemplation. "It used to bother me,” Jungkook clarifies, "but it doesn't anymore."

“So what’s wrong with it?"

That’s right. There is nothing wrong with it.

A cool night on the beach. You feel the cool breeze through your air, the lunar radiance of the moon illuminating the beach. You’re adorned in a lovely, summer-esque two piece set with floral patterns running along the fabric, The top piece is cropped and strapless, exposing your collar bones and belly button piercing, and the bottom piece is a long, flowy skirt that blows marvelously against the wind.

You gingerly step outside the beach house, enjoying the cool sensation of the night breeze. The guys are all hanging out in the yard, soju bottles and beer cans scattered on the wooden benches positioned on the beach. Namjoon and Jimin are posted up on the benches, chowing down on meat whilst engaging in pretty animated conversation. You spot Mingyu and Taehyung running around the beach, slapping each other and chasing after each other, their dirty heels slipping against the coarse sand.

Jungkook is stationed at the grill, frying meat for his friends. His tall and built figure is concealed by his loose black T-shirt and black sweat shorts that you have worn a few times during your extended stay at his place.

You creep up behind him, swiping away the stray hairs that the wind blew into your face. Tapping him lightly on the back, you coyly skmile at him, a bashful glow illuminating your face.

Jungkook sensed your presence the moment stepped foot from the house, but still acts like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you. He does a double take, eyes scanning up and down your face and body- you look so lovely and elegant in your little two piece set. “Hey,” Jungkook finally returns your greeting, a little breathless.

“Can I have some?” you ask, pointing to the grill.

“Uh yea, I actually made a plate for you a second ago,” Jungkook takes the prepared plate of your favorite meats, but pauses before he hands it to you. He hasn’t a clue if you’re doing this on purpose, but you’re looking at him with the sultriest of eyes, and it drives him crazy. His Adam’s Apple bobs in his throat, and he collects himself before handing you the plate.

You tilt your head, sending him a look of confusion at his hesitance, but Jungkook sees it as a gateway to talk to you. “Y/N, can we talk? Like now?” Jungkook asks, rubbing at the nape of his neck.

“Sure, what about?” you solicit, setting the plate on the table.

Jungkook immediately shoves his hands in his pockets, and motions his head towards the beach, obliging you to follow him. “About what you told me at your house..” he trails off, “that one time in the middle of the night,” he adds.

He perceives the way your features morph into embarrassment, so he decides to take the lead on this conversation. He approaches you, standing beside you momentarily before smoothly lacing his fingers through yours. “Let’s go.”

Unable to conjure a proper response, you follow his footsteps in silence until your bodies appear as distant figures by the ocean. With your toes kissing the water washing up on shore, he turns back to look at you, fingers still intertwined. But you stop him before he can open his mouth.

“Wait- Jungkook. Let me explain myself first,” you begin, thankful that the night sky conceals the obvious bashful glow on your cheeks.

Jungkook who is seemingly expressionless nods his head, signaling you to let your words out.

You gently pull your hand from his, twiddling with your fingers before you can speak. “Firstly, I just wanna apologize.. to you,” you begin, ignoring the way his nose scrunches in confusion, “I feel like you’ve been so good to me- you always take care of me. Your family is the only family I have left,” you continue, bashfully tucking an idle strand of hair behind your ear.

“So I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, and I’m sorry for mistaking your care towards me as romantic affection,” you continue, subconsciously gesticulating with your hands. “I know you said you don’t like it when girls are clingy but I’ve been nothing but clingy, and you still take care of me and care about me.” Your words are passionate, and they’re true. “Everyone told me that a relationship with you would be inappropriate.. but I was too persistent and too selfish. I’m so sorry Kook. You must’ve been so shocked when I yelled at you and when I.. opened that shower curtain,” you finish, shaking your head in embarrassment.

When you finally complete the sentiment, you tilt your head upwards to gauge his reaction. His eyebrows pinch in confusion, and his mouth is slightly agape. “What?” he asks breathlessly, eyebrows pinching even further. He runs a tired hand over his face. “Y/N- just- I can’t believe you said that. Y/N, I love you. And I don’t care if you’re clingy, and I don’t care what anybody else thinks of us.”

You gasp at his words, a profound sense of emotion absolutely overwhelming you.

“What I care about is what you think of me, and whether you’re happy,” His fingers find yours, and he holds your hand and looks right into your eyes to properly convey his sincerity. “Y/N, I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner. You were just going through so much shit and I didn’t know if you were in the right headspace or if you were even serious about how you felt for me-”

He stops when you yank your hands away from him, using the back of your hands to wipe the tears streaming down your face. The shapes of his eyes turn into little crescents, petrified at your reactions. He removes your hands from your face, holding your wrists.

“Y/N, don’t cry. Please say something.”

“Jungkook, it’s too late. I-I don’t think I can do this- with you- I mean,” is all you’re able to say and Jungkook’s chest tightens impossibly.

His heart drops to your stomach, a crestfallen expression morphing onto his handsome features. “I-is that how you really feel?”

Another tear streams down your face and Jungkook itches to wipe it but suppresses that urge.

“I love you Jungkook. I do. I really do!” you cry out, “But I can’t date you, ever. I never want to lose you,” you sob between sniffles. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m sure of it!”

The situation is bitterly ironic. Jungkook spent months tiptoeing around his feelings, your feelings, because he wanted to ensure he was what you wanted. Even when you blatantly threw yourself at him, he made the conscious decision to not pursue you. He spent months deciding your feelings for you- and now you’re telling him you don’t want him and he can’t do anything but accept it.

“Y/N, you’ll never lose me. I’ll always be here. Even if you change your mind.. I’ll always be here.”

“Jungkook, I lost my whole family. You’re all I have left,” you explain, trailing off a little bit, “If I lose you then I have nobody.”

“No, I swear- Y/N, you’re it for me, and I mean it.”

You sniffle, wiping your cheeks, eyes, and nose once more. “What- hiccup- does that mean?”

“It means… whatever you want it to mean,” he concludes.

“Jungkook…” you trail off, “Don’t wait for me. If you find a girl you like, then you should go for her. All I want is for you to be happy. It’s what you deserve,” you offer him a soft smile, a direct juxtaposition to your tear stained cheeks.

His chest tightens at that and he shakes his head. “You’ll always be my priority. Me? I’ve dated enough girls, I can be single for the rest of my life.”

You immediately swat his chest at the sentiment. “No, Jungkook. You should be with someone who takes care of you, not someone you have to take care of all the time. I’ll just always be your family friend who had a stupid crush on you in college.” Your attempt to lighten the atmosphere is futile and makes Jungkook’s scowl deepen.

“You’re more than that to me. You’ll always be.” His hand latches onto yours, and you pull yourself from him.

“No Jungkook.. I’ve made up my mind. I really don’t think we could ever…” When your voice breaks and more tears accumulate in your waterline, Jungkook stops you, not wanting to cause you any more pain.

“I got it, Y/N. But just know I’ll always be here… in any way you’ll take me.”

READ PART 2 HERE

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corrodedcoffins-blog · 30 days

Text

History Repeats Itself

masterlist

note: first jess one-shot!!! (and i'm actually proud of it???) also i say their baby is one but i don't know babies to well so if she's too advanced for a one year old, just cut me some slack

warnings: teen pregnancy, food/eating

word count: 4.7 k

♡ summary: Being a teen mom is hard but without any help it's even harder, after saving up enough she can finally move to Stars Hollow to be closer to her baby's father

♡ Jess Mariano x reader

request ✓

The bus ride down was long, and it only got worse as 1-year-old Caroline woke up from her nap and decided to let everyone know of the inconvenience. Finally after the long months of working and saving up she had enough to move to Stars Hollow, unlike Jess who had a parent to send them and an uncle to stay with, she saved up and made it happen. She wanted Caroline to be around her father, and she wanted to be close to Jess.

And Y/n’s always loved the idea of a small town, a place where you felt safe, a place she would feel safe raising her child in, a place that wasn’t $2,500 a month for a closet. Here she could give her daughter a lot more, here she would have a support system in Jess and Luke. Unlike what her parents would give her.

By this point in the bus route it was only the mother and daughter and a couple strays, she saw the messy haired boy sitting on a park bench close to the bus stop, of course he had his nose in a book. She started packing up Caroline’s stuff, tucking her blanket and toys in the basket of the stroller.

When she got to the bus doors, Jess quickly made his way to help her lift the stroller down the steps, when the stroller was once again on the ground Jess squats down getting face to face with his little girl, “Hey, Care!” “Daddy!” He lifted her up by her armpits. When the little girl was out of her seat and in her dad’s arms, her mom stacked their bags on the seat.

“Hi! You’re so big! Really she is. She’s growing up so fast.” “Well she can walk way more stable now. No more scaring, mommy that you’ll fall if I look away for a second.” She says the last sentence in baby voice while she tickles the girl’s belly to make her giggle and their foreheads to rest on each other’s.

“So you gonna show us around?!” “‘Around’?” They continued their walk around the gazebo area, walking towards Luke’s.

“This is it, that's the record shop, that’s the bookstore, that's Luke’s, and that’s all you need to know.” “Well where’s the bank, I might need to rob it later.” “You’ll find a job. And if you don’t then work at Luke’s, he could do with the time off then maybe he’d get off everyone’s backs.” “He’s probably stressed with you always causing trouble.” “Me? Trouble? Nooo, I’m a peach.”

Jess had the baby today since Y/n was off to find a job, her first stop was the most promising. Luke let her know that a friend of his needed extra staff at their Inn for an event that was coming up, someone who could be an assistant of sorts. So after wearing her most capable looking top, and best fitting jeans. She kissed Caroline’s check and yelled goodbye to Luke and Jess as she began her walk.

When she walked inside she saw a man at the front desk on the phone. Waiting to ask for directions, she hung around the man’s desk, busying herself with some pamphlet. She couldn't help but listen to the man’s angry English in his french accent.

Suddenly he hung up the phone and got back to writing whatever he was writing, without looking up and with an annoyed tone said, “Yes?” “I was looking for Lorelei, I’m here for-” “The assistant job, yes.. Follow me.” He walked quickly to wherever it was they were going, mumbling along the way, “Of course, an assistant. Just what we need around here. Not like I don’t already do most of the work around here.”

He opened the door for them, it ended up being the kitchen they were now in. A tall woman holding a to-go coffee cup that said ‘Luke’s’ on it and a shorter woman in an apron fighting with a scruffy man about vegetables, which look to be parsnips.

“The mini-you is here.” “One little comment, Micheal. I’m not saying you’re incapable. I just want more help with organising events so I focus on planning!” “Whatever.” Turning on his heels, Micheal walked out the doors making his way back to his desk.

“So you’ve met Micheal! Sorry, we usually don’t let him around the new people but we're a little short-staffed. Let’s head to the dining room.”

They sat down at a table in the dining room, Lorelei asked all the important questions, and Y/n was perfect, now she was just asking the things she’ll tell Sookie later when the woman asks about the new hire.

Taking a sip of her sixth coffee this morning Lorelei asked, “So, are you new to town? I haven’t seen you around before.” The girl was stirring milk into her second coffee as she responded, “Yeah, I am. I just moved here with my um- my daughter, closer to her dad so…”

Since it was of course the time most adults got horrified, thought she was a bad kid, and though she didn’t get that vibe from Lorelei, it was at least bound to shock her. “You’re daughter? How old are you? Wait- I know, it’s on your resume. I mean- I’m, deja vu y’know? Abba did say ‘the history books on the shelf are always repeating themselves’.”

She must have seen the confused look on the young girl and explained, “I had my daughter when I was sixteen.. And came here to get a job, so just getting major deja vu. Well then, since I know what you’re going through, I won’t put you through the short mental torture of waiting for a call I was gonna do and just tell you you got the job.” “Oh, thank you! I really need this, I can’t thank you enough.” “Just change her name to Lorelei and we’ll call it even.” “deal.” Those two would get along great, much to Luke’s misfortune.

Y/n sat at the counter with Caroline in front of her sitting on the counter while she played with her mother’s hair. Jess was filling up cups of coffee and serving customers while he listened to Y/n’s words.

“So until you go back to school, you’ll have Caroline during the day here and when I’m done work I’ll take her.” “No, you’ll never have a break. After work you go to your house, relax then grab her after dinner.”

Jess may have this ‘I only care about myself’ attitude but that never included Caroline and Y/n, he’d kill for either of them at any given moment. He always put them first. If thought Y/n needed a break, she was getting a break whether she wanted it or not.

Just as the girl was going to thank him she was interrupted by another girl around their age coming to sit down at the counter, two over from her.

“I have the book you lent me.” She said, unknowingly interrupting the conversation since Jess was facing the coffee machine to make a new batch when she sat down. “Oh, thanks.” He muttered, notably not turning to face her.

On the inside Jess felt guilty. Why did he feel guilty? He didn’t do anything, he and Y/n weren’t together, nevermind the fact that all he did was lend Rory a book. As friends. Because they’re friends. But nonetheless it almost felt like cheating. Jess and Y/n may not be together officially but that didn’t mean that they both didn’t love each other. And not just because they were the parents to a beautiful little girl. Jess had always wanted more, he’d let the girl know that more than a handful of times, and she let him know it wasn’t unrequited, yet something always came between them.

You’d think having a baby together would bring them closer, and in some ways it did; they trusted each other more. But they also fought more and being the dumb teenagers they were, they didn’t have the emotional ability to move past that and build the relationship they both wanted. And then when they felt they were ready to, Jess was sent to live with his uncle. Just another fork in the road. But now they were living in the same town and had a good system, and people to support them. It was the perfect time, everything was going right, they could feel all the feelings that never really left resurfacing.

“Okay, I have to get to work. You’ve got her?” “Yeah.” “Bye, baby, I love you. I’ll see you in a little bit, but you get to spend all day with daddy.” “Bye-bye, mommy!”

She said bye to Jess after she walked around the counter and handed him Caroline, muttering a small ‘go see, daddy’ that Rory most definitely heard.

When the door finally chimed shut Rory shot up to follow Jess to the table he was now setting Caroline up at. She watched his gentle movements as he readjusts her shirt and places crayons and paper in front of her, which she got right into scriballing away.

“She’s yours?” “Yeah.” “.. So that girl is your girlfri-" "I’ve got work to do.”

The warm atmosphere of the dinner is a stark contrast to the cold winter air. Noticing Jess and Caroline are nowhere to be seen she assumes they were upstairs and makes her way up the stairs. Half-way up the flight of stairs she could hear her little girl’s loud giggles. She quietly opens the door to see Jess holding Caroline above his head, as if she was flying.

When she first got pregnant everyone told her Jess wouldn’t be a good dad, that she can’t rely on him for anything. God were they wrong. She doesn’t think it’s possible for her baby to have a better person as a dad. She sadly doesn’t get to watch the scene for much longer as she’s spotted by little Caroline.

“Mommy! I see daddy ‘morrow?” “Yes, you get to be with daddy all day tomorrow too.” “Yay!”

As the conversation between them goes on, Jess lets his little girl plant her feet back on the ground and starts collecting some things she’ll need during the night before she comes back here tomorrow, he then starts getting Caroline’s shoes on her feet. While Y/n sits on the couch next to their little girl.

“So who was that girl this morning?” “Who?”

Jess always did this, it was a tell tale sign that he didn’t want to talk about it, but that’s never stopped Y/n before. “You know who.” Of course having to be difficult, Jess gives her a fake confused look, as if he’s never met another girl in his life.

“The one returning your book.” “Oh, that girl.” “Yeah, that girl.” “She’s nobody.” “So you just lend books to ‘nobody’s now?” “Care, where’s Mr.Wiggle?” The girl lets out a gasp and reaches out for Jess to help her off the couch, when he does she runs into the closet where she previously hid while playing hide and seek a couple hours earlier.

“What? Don’t want Care to hear about her new step-mom?” “Don’t call her that.” “What? Care? Only you can call her that?” “No, don’t call Rory Care’s ‘step-mom’.” “Rory! I get her name!”

Jess was a quiet guy, but not this quiet, especially not with Y/n. He didn’t want to talk about Rory, maybe because it was weird talking about another girl with your baby momma. And yes it was weird for Y/n too, but for a completely different reason, she assumes. She liked Jess, and has since before she even knew about Caroline.

“C’mon, Jess, it’s me. I want you to be happy.” Sure Rory made him happy, but only because she was the only friend he had here, it wasn’t the way Y/n made him happy. Before he could deny for words again Caroline came back running into the room with her stuffie in her hands. Having already said her goodbyes, she opened the door and walked out.

“Caroline, wait hun! I think you should go for it Jess.”

She walked out the door, closing it behind her, leaving Jess to stare at where she disappeared. He decided to take her advice, just maybe not the way she meant it

Y/n helped Caroline pack more snow onto their snowman. Caroline wanted to do it after she heard Luke complaining about town events again, he stopped complaining when he saw how excited the girl was. They had Mr.Wiggles off the side learning against the tree, using him as a reference.

“Mommy, no. Mr.Wiggles has more hair.”

Caroline was getting very comfortable ordering her mother around, but in this instance Y/n let it slide, poking more sticks on the top of the snowman’s head to mimic Mr.Wiggle’s spiky hair.

“That’s good!”

Lorelei and Rory were just one snowman down, both told Caroline they thought she would win and encouraged her before she even started. Since they were so close, they could hear the scene that had just played out.

“Tough age, wait till you get to the terrible twos. ‘No’ is all you’ll hear.” Lorelei said, kindly as her and her own daughter walked past them. Y/n let out a laugh at the comment before she asks, “You guys done already?” “No, but after Michelangelo over there busted out the power buffer, and when Caroline busts out her cuteness, what chance do we have?” “I see your point.” “So off to Luke’s we go.” “We’ll see you there in a bit.”

Y/n was standing talking to one of the decorators when she saw Lorelei and Sookie step out of the kitchen, quickly finishing her directions she wrote down a note on her clipboard then made her way to meet them at the entrance of the dining room.

When Sookie sees her, she asks, “What’re we looking at today?” Sookie was really fun to work with, like Lorelei she was very chill as a boss, but Sookie was also so kind and always took it upon herself to make sure Y/n has eaten and that her and Caroline are taken care of. She could tell the woman was going to make an amazing mother.

“This is last on the list.” She replied, after she took a quick glance at her clipboard, then continued, “We’ve got trumpets, the madrigal singers-” “Sorry to interrupt, but I’m not playing squire of Bracebridge.”

Sookie and Lorelei must have finally told Jackson to play the squire, they told her earlier in the week that they were playing to ask at the last moments so he had to. It was a flawless plan, especially when Jackson can’t say no to Sookie.

She saw that Lorelei and Sookie were just ignoring him, so she played along and continued down her list, “All the servers are lined up. This is just for the recorder players and harpists.” She stopped at the recorder players and let Lorelei talk to them, “Hi. Lay some on us, guys.”

The two recorder players played the soft tube they were going to come accustomed to in the next few days. The three of them shared positive looks and when their playing came to an end, Sookie said, “Hey, you cats really know how to blow those things.” Lorelei continued Sookie’s comment by saying, “You’ve got the gig. Y/n here will call you later with the details. Thanks.”

Recorder players started packing their things, Jackson started again on the fact that he wouldn’t play the squire, and the three women continued to ignore him.

“When do the quests arrive?” “Thursday at four on their own jet.” “After buying out the whole inn.”

“Must be nice to have money.” Y/n added, checking off and writing down more notes on her clipboard.

“You know what struck me today?” “-Was it the fact that I am not the squire?-""We’re crazy for doing this.” “We’re beyond crazy.” It did feel crazy, Lorelei told her they’d never done a function this big before and that’s the reason they hired more help. Like her, but also that they were planning to do a lot more big things like this, more weddings, and such.

“We’re ‘Anne Heche speaking her secret language to god and looking for the spaceship in Fresno’ kinda crazy.” “Oquinis no-goodo noto.” Sookie said, causing Y/n add, “Il ecnatra dos guidan.”

Their nonsense was once again interrupted by Jackson, “And spring this on me at the last minute too. I mean, that’s just manipulative.” Suddenly a cook pops his head out of the kitchen, saying calmly, “Sookie- fire!”

Sookie rolled her eyes softly, this happened far too often, before saying, “I gotta get back in the kitchen. You guys handle the harps?” Both women nodded and replied in unison, “You got it.”

“Alright. I’ll do it. I’ll play squire Bracebridge if that’s what you want.” Everyone knew he would cave eventually. Sookie patted his arm and said a quick, “Thanks, sweetie.” before walking back into the kitchen to hopefully deal with the fire. “As long as it’s not just because I fit the costume.” Jackson looked back at Lorelei and Y/n, Lorelei had a grin on her face while Y/n wore a tight-lipped smile. “It’s because I fit the costume, isn’t it?” He followed after Sookie.

Lorelei put her arm around Y/n and led them to the harpist, “Go ahead.” The harpist played the same tune as the two recorder players. But just as the woman started, Lorelei got a call. She patted Y/n’s arm, “I have to take this, you handle the harpist.”

The girl tried to stay calm, nodding her head and going back to listening to the music. Lorelei trusted her, yes it wasn’t a big job by any means, but still it was a step into a bigger role down the line.

The next day, Sookie and Y/n had all the waiters/performers in the dining room going over what their job was. And teaching them the old English words to use for things.

Sookie was just telling Rune that he couldn’t just talk like an old man whe Lorelei came in with a disappointed look on her face, and let them know the dinner was off.

The three women, as well as Rory and Caroline were now sitting at a table at Luke’s, Caroline was happily eating her pancakes, plain just as she liked and completely unaware of the collective disappointment of the group.

Lorelei has really welcomed Y/n into her life. She may not be Jess’s biggest fan, but she would always help another teen mom out. Especially since she sees so much of herself in Y/n. She’s grown to really love the girl in the short time they’ve known each other. And aftering hearing Y/n didn’t have her family in her life she was more than happy to help and maybe become that family for her one day. Just like Mia did for her.

“I’ve got 30 pounds of aged beef, trays and trays of trout, mountains of prune tarts. I diced pumpkins until my hands turned orange. I’ve got pumpkin hands!” Sookie showed the table her hands, it apparently caught Caroline’s attention since she grabbed Sookie’s right hand and held it in her left while she continued eating. Sookie lets her hand rest in the little girl’s while she freaks out more and asks Lorelei, “How can you stay so calm?” “There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Rory was just as upset, mostly because she knew how hard her mother worked on the planning, “I can’t believe they got snowed in.” Y/n hasn’t told Jess, but she’s become pretty close to Rory, the girl sometimes comes to the Inn and helps around and Rory’s become kinda her only friend, that was until Rory invited her to the record store with Lane. After that day she had two friends.

After knowing Rory more, she realised how much she and Jess have in common, and even though Rory has a boyfriend she can tell there’s an attraction to Jess she’s trying so hard to hide.

Y/n zoned out for a moment, looking outside, she was upset that the first event she helped organise wouldn’t even happen. She was broken from her stare out the window from Caroline jumping in place while sitting on her mom’s lap, the cause of which was Luke coming to the table.

“You girls want anything besides coffee?” He asked, adding on with a pat on the girl’s head, “Or pancakes?” “Hey, what about Luke?” “What about him?” “He eats, and Jess eats. Doesn’t Jess eat?” Sookie directs the question at Y/n, before the girl could say anything Luke cuts her off, “What’s she doing?” “I think she’s inviting you for dinner.”

Getting distracted while trying to convince Luke to come to dinner, the four decide to still put on the dinner for the town. Like an out of control slumber-party.

The dinner was going great, the secret amazing part of inviting the town was that Y/n and Caroline could actually meet everyone. Miss. Patty and Babette loved Y/n and Caroline (mostly Caroline), Caroline loved Kirk, and everyone loved that Caroline could do whatever she wanted and Talor wouldn’t say anything. And Y/n got to meet Paris after all the stories she’s heard.

Caroline and Y/n were in line for the horse drawn carriage rides, when Caroline saw her favourite person, Lane. “Laney! I ride with you!” Lane, before agreeing, made eye contact with Y/n to make sure it was okay. Y/n gave them the go ahead and helped Caroline get settled. After their carriage left she made her way to the next one. Telling the driver it’s just her.

It was nice to get a break from everything. It was quiet and peaceful. Well that was until Jess ran up and hopped on the carriage next to her. Without a word he put the blanket that was over the girl’s legs on his too.

“I thought you and Care were going together.” “She’s one ahead, with Lane.” “Ahhh. Well it’s two to a sleigh no more, no less. So you were breaking the rules, you're welcome for saving you.” “You could have hurt yourself.” “Aw, you care about me.” “You are my baby's father.”

She wished she just agreed with him. She didn’t just care for him because he was Caroline’s dad, and she doesn’t think she says it enough. But then again, maybe it would mess things up if she admitted that. But that decision was made for her.

“I’m touched.” “Jess. I don’t mean it like that. I care about you, Caroline or not.”

Trying to change the topic to something she thought was more lighthearted, she says, “So, how are things with Rory?” “There are no things with Rory.” “C’mon, Jess, we can talk about this stuff-” “Why are you so insistent that I date Rory?”

She wasn’t expecting that outburst. Not from Jess. He rarely ever yelled at her, and when he did it was always misplaced anger, never actually angry at her. This time it was her, it was what she said.

“I just want you to be happy-” “C’mon, Y/n. Be serious.” “I am. I want-” “If you want me to be happy so bad, why won’t you give me a chance?!”

He turned his face to her, looking right into her eyes, she could see the hurt in his. Did she put it there?

“What’re you-” “Since we found out about Caroline, I’ve tried and tried to help you realise that I love you. And not how you mean ‘I love you’. I don’t love and care for you because we have a family and I have to. I love you, because I want to. I want to be with you. And I know it will be hard, but I’ll do the work.”

If she had more social awareness at the pent she would have hated that the coachman heard all of that. But after what Jess said, the look in his eyes; that was so full of love. She felt like it was just them two in the world. No, that it was just their little family in the whole world. He and Caroline were all she would ever need.

“I love you too, Jess. I have for so long, long before Caroline, but I thought you wouldn’t want to be tied down to me, especially after I had Caroline, that any sign I thought you gave me was all in my head.” “It’s not.”

He brought her in closer to him, an arm around her shoulders and when her arms wrapped around his waist he left a kiss on the crown of her head. The small kiss brought her eyes up to him, which led to their first real kiss in one year and nine months.

His lips were softer than she remembered, but they still fit into hers as if they never left.

She broke away from their reuniting kiss to place her head in the crook of his neck, wanting nothing more than to be close to him.

“My mom didn’t want me to come home.” She took her head out of his neck to look at him fully. They were always that person for each other, the one you can tell your problem to and they knew when to help and when listening was enough. Right now, she knew listening was enough.

“I’m sorry, Jess.” “It’s fine. Just sucks.” “I know. Well, Care and I will always want you to come home.” After her words, he brought her closer than before. She was always just what he needed.

Wanting to change the subject, Jess nodded his head to the snowman Y/n and Caroline built. “It’s good.” “What?” “Your snowman, well Caroline’s snowman I'm sure she’d want me to say.” “You know which one’s ours?” “Definitely shows her personality… It kinda looks like Mr.Wiggles.” “That’s what we were going for. But everyone thinks the one on the end is going to win.” “Really? It’s so overdone.” “I agree.” “You and Care’s should win.” “Agree again.”

The dinner was filled with Jess and Luke confused at what exactly was in the food, Jess and Y/n trying their best to keep Caroline sat which about half an hour in they gave up and just let her walk around the lobby, as well as saying hello and talking to everyone at the table. Having an interesting conversation with Mrs.Kim about grace, ‘helping’ Kirk by sitting on his rolling food cart, and even talking with Paris for a while.

Overall it was a great night. Even better when Jess, Y/n, and Caroline got to their shared room, putting Caroline asleep together for the first time in a while. And falling to sleep in the same bed together, holding each other, listening to each other’s breaths, as well as Caroline’s. Everything was just how they both always secretly wanted. And now get to have openly and freely.

In the morning Y/n got up early since she was technically working, and she still was when Luke, Jess, and Caroline left to open the diner for the day. It was around noon when Y/n finally left, walking to Luke’s to spend the day with her two favourite people. Which was when she saw Michelangelo’s snowman fallen to a large pile of snow on the ground.

She didn’t even have to think for a second to know that Jess did it. Sometimes he did the weirdest things to show his love.

The bell rang as she pushed open the door, she sat down next to Caroline, saying ‘good morning’ and getting one back before she made her way to the counter.

“I saw what you did.” “What’d I do?” “Caroline will be happy she won.” “Anything if my girl’s win.”

#jess mariano #jess mariano x reader #jess mariano x fem!reader #jess mariano x female reader #jess mariano x y/n #gilmore girls #gilmore girls fic #milo ventimiglia #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #emily gilmore #teen mom!reader #teen mom

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tomboy014 · 10 months

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Dun Dun Dunnn!!! Arkham Security Guard Danny's Epic Backstory! with Dick Grayson

I fell in love with the Arkham Guard AU by @xy-is-i and like most projects I work on, rather than starting where the story starts, I end up going backwards and delve into the backstory. And I mean waaay into the backstory.

Because while the stories might start when the Bats run into Danny and Jazz working at Arkham Asylum isn’t where they first met.

Long, long ago, through shenanigans unknown, Robin and Phantom became friends, and honestly, they both really needed it.

Dick Grayson, age 16, has been Robin for a while, but this is so early in the day that there just aren’t many teen heroes or sidekicks yet. He’s basically pioneering the field of child heroes.

For Danny, 14, Sam and Tucker are great, but there are just some parts of superhero-ing that they just don’t get when you don’t have to hide a secret identity.

Batman, for his part, does not approve of the friendship. He’s already not a fan of metas in his city, but when the two of them get together, the chaos twin energy between Dick and Danny multiplies. Worse, it brings about the pun-pocalypse, and there are only so many puns Bruce can take. And then there’s the sibling discourse…

After all the stories Danny has told about his family, Dick is desperate to have a little sibling of his own, and the two repeatedly gang up on Batman to adopt another kid. Their acting may be stilted, but the efforts are constant.

It never works. Bruce doesn’t have empty nest syndrome yet, and tiny, homicidal Dick was already more than he could handle while he was trying to figure out how to adult, but he also can’t stand that he’s disappointing Dick. Alfred isn’t helping either; he wants more grandkids.

And there’s no way in HELL that he’s adopting Phantom.

But for Robin and Phantom, they finally have someone they can talk to who gets it. They can vent about their rogues, get help with homework, bitch about balancing their vigilantism with going to school, talk about whatever TV they’ve been watching, anything and everything. It’s not uncommon to see them hanging off the Gotham gargoyles or grabbing a bite on top of the Nasty Burger.

There’s an unspoken rule between them that neither pries into the other’s personal life or secret identity, but as they get more comfortable with each other, little things slip out. Then more. Numbers are swapped, bits and pieces about their families come out.

Later on, homes and secret hideouts are visited and they know each other’s first names. It’s not a problem for Dick to go to the Fenton’s, but technically, Danny isn’t allowed in the Bat Cave or the Manor. Those visits happen behind Batman’s back, and they were almost caught when they hid in the chandelier before Danny remembered he could turn them invisible. (Alfred encourages the friendship and bakes extra cookies once when he finds out Danny is over.)

And eventually the relationship grows until they’re comfortable enough to swap full names. No more secrets.

Dick likes going over to Danny’s place since it’s a chance to feel a lot more normal, even if they have to be very careful and either stay in civilian clothes in the shared areas or stay locked in Danny’s room if they’re in uniform. Danny also goes out of his way to keep Dick from ever meeting his sister, Jazz (Danny knows he has a type). It doesn’t stop them from swapping their numbers under the door. (Jazz will unofficially be Dick’s therapist for years after this)

But being this close, Dick can also see just how stressed Danny is trying to maintain this lifestyle. Doesn’t help either he has to listen to Danny’s parents go on and on about wanting to rip their own son apart, molecule by molecule. Sure, Danny has a couple friends to help him, but he doesn’t have the same mentor or support system Dick has. For a kid his age to be anything other than a sidekick is practically unheard of in this day and age. Superheroes are still fairly few and far between, but Batman helped start a group called the Justice League a couple years ago with the idea that heroes could help each other. Maybe there’s something there…

So, Dick starts the Teen Titan. He had originally intended for Danny to join him as one of the founding members, but are you kidding? Jump City is on the opposite side of the country! He has school! and parents! (That’s the point, Danny. We’re trying to get you away from the parents that want to dissect you) He can’t just up and leave home and run halfway across the country!

So, Dick found the other iconic members and still joined the Titans, but Danny will always have an open invitation to join them and a room at the Tower, something Danny does occasionally take advantage of. Jump City doesn’t spawn as many natural portals as Gotham, but he visits whenever he can and basically haunts the tower the entire month of December to get away from his family.

Still, the distance and growing up are hard on Dick and Danny, and they grow more distant over the years, but they’ll always have each other’s backs in an emergency. Dick was there when Danny thought he was turning into a monster (it was just ghost puberty). Danny stole the Spectre Speeder so they could scour the Ghost Zone after Jason died. And Danny would eventually become godfather to Dick’s daughter, Mar’i.

But things cooled down between them… at least until a panicked Danny called because his sister just took a job at Arkham…

Next>>

#dpxdc #dp x dc #arkham guard au #arkham guard backstory #danny phantom #dick grayson

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thoseboysinblue · 8 months

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I Kissed Someone New Last Night

Christian Pulisic x reader

You visit your best friend, Christian, in Milan after a break up.

Word count: 4150+

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of weight loss, mentions of death of parents

Song Inspo: Kelsea Ballerini's Penthouse (Healed Version)

Requested: No

"Come to Milan" he pleads with you through the phone, "I'm worried about you, y/n."

"Christian, you know I can't do that," you frown at him.

"Please," he says quietly, "you've lost too much weight, you're not taking care of yourself, and no offense but you kind of look like shit," he tries to lighten the mood just a bit.

The truth is, there is nothing stopping you from hopping on the next flight to see your best friend and both of you know it. You broke off your engagement a few months ago, after finding out your fiancé was cheating on you. You also recently quit your job because no matter how hard you tried you always were bumping into him and you desperately needed a fresh start.

You had considered moving to Florida to be closer to Christian's family, the only real support system you had left. And even though he was far away, Christian never failed to be there for you through every heartbreak you had endured in your short life.

The night your mom died when the two of you were in high school, he dropped everything to be by your side, staying with you through all of it, holding you when you cried, staying strong for you when you completely fell apart.

He flew home as soon as he heard the news of your father's passing a few years later, and again, he was your rock. As everything in your life seemed to crash down, he was the constant, steady presence.

His family had welcomed you with open arms, including you in their holidays, family vacations, and trips to visit Christian and watch him play. They always made sure you felt like you had a place to call home. In recent years, you had opted to go to Christian for holidays so that he wouldn't have to spend them alone, the two of you setting about creating your own traditions. That was until your ex came along and you felt like you should spend holidays with him, but it broke your heart knowing Christian was spending them alone again.

Christian never really liked your ex, he couldn't put his finger on exactly why, but something about him made his guard go up. And it broke his heart when he found out he was right all along, maybe if he had said something he could have spared you the heartbreak, but you seemed happy and he wasn't going to interfere if that was truly the case.

"Come see me, I'll take care of you, I'll feed you pasta and let you get drunk on Italian wine. We can see the city together, I haven't gotten to do much exploring yet. It will be good for you to get away, take a break, get some fresh air, come on y/n, please?" he continues to plead with you.

"Ok" you whisper and you see his face light up, immediately grabbing his laptop and searching for flights before you have a chance to change your mind.

"How soon can you leave, looks like I can get you on a flight tonight, or tomorrow," he grins into the phone.

"Christian, you don't have to do that, I'll book something," you roll your eyes at him. He never failed to be generous and take care of you, whatever you needed, you didn't even have to ask most of the time.

"Nope. Not happening. Tonight or tomorrow, y/n? You better give me an answer or I'm closing h my eyes and clicking on whatever I land on," he chuckles.

"Fuck it, tonight," you grin at him, the first genuine smile he's seen from you in as long as he can remember.

You have to admit that the thought of landing in Italy tomorrow morning to spend however long you wanted with Christian makes you a little dizzy.

"Ok, pack your bags sweetheart, I'm sending you your boarding pass now," he smiles at you, "fuck I'm so excited to see you, it's been ages since we've gotten to spend time together."

"Christian, I just saw you this summer in Florida," you chuckle at him.

"Yeah, but that was less than 24 hours and you had the dickhead with you so it doesn't really count," he huffs at you.

"Christian this boarding pass says seat 4C, you did not just book me a first class ticket did you, you jackass."

"I sure did, because I can, and because I wanted to, and because there wasn't much left on the flight anyways. Now, get off the phone and start packing. Call me when you leave for the airport. Love you, y/n."

"Love you too, Chris." you shake your head at him before you hang up.

A few hours later, you have taken care of anything that might need your attention in the next few weeks since you were unsure of exactly when you would be back. You had packed and showered, and were set to leave for the airport. Making one final check that you had everything you needed, you call Christian, who answers sleepily, "I'm headed to the airport," you smile, even though he can't see you. "Ok, I'll see you in the morning," he says through a yawn, "safe travels."

"Thank you for this" you whisper but you can hear him snoring through the phone so you quietly end the call, after whispering another "love you."

You phone dings when you turn it off of airplane mode and you look down to see a message from Christian.

Christian: ciao bella 🤌🏻 there will be a car waiting for you to take you to my apartment. I'll be in training when you land, but should be home when you get there. Can't wait to see you 🫶🏻 Love you.

Y/N: oh god, am I going to be subjected to your attempts at learning Italian?

Y/N: thank you for the flight and arranging the car. I'll meet you at home. I can't wait to see you either. Love you, Chris 🫶🏻

Christian: do not insult my Italian, y/n. On my way home now, see you there 😍

When you arrive, he is waiting outside for you, pulling you into a warm embrace. It feels like he might crush you, but being in his arms heals your soul just a tiny bit.

"You've bulked up," you chuckle, your head resting against his chest. "You're skin and bones" he whispers leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

"Come on" he says retrieving your bags from the car and thanking the driver, waving off your attempts to help carry your things.

He leads you inside his new apartment, sitting your bags just inside the door before intertwining his fingers with yours, "let me show you around," he smiles at you adoringly.

He leads you from room to room, letting you know his plans for each of the ones that aren't quiet fully furnished yet. He grabs your bags as you follow him up the stairs opening the door to what you presume is his bedroom.

"Christian, this is gorgeous," you say taking in the room, the view out of his window to die for.

"It is," he smiles, never taking his eyes off of you.

You and Christian always share a bed when you are together so you aren't sure why it makes you slightly nervous to think about staying with him now, but it does. Your stomach flips as he moves your bag into the walk in closet, sitting your toiletry bag on the bathroom counter.

"Are you tired?" he whispers tucking a loose strand of hair around your ear and settling his hand on you jaw, smiling a the way you lean into him and shake your head, your eyes already a little brighter.

"Hungry?" he grins when you nod.

"You feel up to going somewhere, or do you want me to cook here, or we can order in?"

"We can go out, but can I have a few minutes to freshen up? You know I always feel gross after a long flight."

"Of course," he smiles, leading you into the bathroom, grabbing a towel for you and turning on the shower.

"Thank you," you whisper, wrapping your arms around his waist, "for everything," a couple of tears slip from your eyes which you try to hide from him but he definitely notices.

"Always, y/n" he breathes out, kissing you on the forehead.

After your shower, you wrap yourself in a towel, walking into Christian's room so that you can grab some clothes out of your suitcase. Christian is sitting on the bed when you walk out of the bathroom and his heart sinks when he realizes just how thin you've gotten. He knows it's just from the stress, and that you tend to lose weight when you are dealing with heavy emotions, and that you always return to your normal with a little TLC, usually from him.

He doesn't say anything, he knows he doesn't have to, you can read perfectly well the look of concern on his face.

"I'll be fine, Christian," you whisper as he nods.

"I know you will be now," he offers you a weak smile, but the look of concern is still evident.

You quickly get dressed, noticing that Christian has already unpacked your things and placed them on the empty shelves in his closet, your heart fluttering at the kind gesture.

"Come here" he gestures, patting the empty space on the bed beside him.

You waste no time in climbing over him and tucking yourself into his side, your head resting on his chest as he scratches your back.

"You know I'm here for anything you need, right? Forever." he speaks quietly.

You nod, allowing the familiar sound of his heart and his scent to wash over you. You never feel more cared for than you do when you are wrapped in Christian's arms, his warm embrace always soothing you, no matter what is going on in your life.

"You sure you don't want a nap," he asks quietly, a small yawn escaping his lips.

"We can nap if you are tired, Chris," you whisper.

"That's not what I asked," he chuckles.

Your stomach rumbles loudly and he kisses you on the top of the head, "food first, then naps."

He takes you to a small restaurant close to his apartment, filling you with as much pasta as you can hold before you make the short walk back to his place.

Once you arrive back at Christian's, he closes the room darkening shades in his living room and the two of you settle down on the couch to watch a movie.

Before long, you fall asleep wrapped up in Christian's arms and he does the same. You aren't sure how long you've slept when you stir slightly, waking Christian up.

"You ok?" he whispers into the dark, a sigh escaping his lips when you nod and nuzzle your face into his chest. You let out a giggle when his stomach rumbles, "you can't be hungry again, Chris."

"I'm starving, actually" he chuckles when you move slightly allowing him to stand up and pull you to your feet. He makes the two of you a sandwich, both of you eating before heading up to get changed for bed.

You wander out of the en-suite bathroom in Christian's room after finishing your skincare to find Christian sitting in the bed, already under the covers.

You give him a hesitant look, chewing on your bottom lip, "you sure you want me to stay in here, I could stay in the guest room or..." you trail off as he stands up and makes his way over to you wrapping you in a hug.

"Why wouldn't you stay in here, we've been sharing a bed since we were kids, y/n," he says quietly his hand stroking your back.

"I don't know," you whisper, "I just wasn't sure you wanted me in here."

"Of course I do," he says taking your hand and guiding you towards the bed, "but only if you want to be in here. I can definitely get you set up in the guest room if you would feel more comfortable."

"No, this is fine," you offer him a smile, your moment of anxiety passing.

"You know, I think my parents always thought we were up to something when we kept sharing a bed when we got older," he chuckles, "led to me getting the talk from my dad on more than one occasion."

"No, really?" you groan, your cheeks painted with embarrassment as you try to hide your face with your hands.

"Mmmhmmm" he laughs pulling your hands from your face, "I think they were worried that we might figure out that one of us is a boy and the other is a girl when we were younger, but as we got older, I think there were secretly rooting for it."

"I figured they would eventually put a stop to it, but I guess they trusted you far more than the trusted me," he grins.

"Guess we've disappointed them then," you chuckle tucking yourself into his side as he kisses the top of your head.

"Sleep well, y/n, wake me if you need anything," he whispers as he turns off the lights leaving the two of you wrapped up in nothing but the darkness and each other's arms.

The next several days in Milan Christian works to improve your mood as much as he can, enjoying when he catches flickers of you returning to your normal self.

You wake up early with him, enjoying quiet mornings before he has to leave for training. He even asks if he can bring you along for a few sessions giving you a chance to catch up with his old Chelsea teammates. You spend afternoons wandering the city and learning Italian with him. Evenings, which he knows you typically dread, are spent, snuggled up together watching movies or binge watching some of your favorite series.

Being constantly surrounded by Christian's presence is working wonders for you, you can feel yourself healing from everything you've been through the past few months. During a face time with Christian's mom she mentions that she can tell both of you are in a better place mentally and physically and that she's glad you are getting to spend some time together.

You cannot deny how much you enjoy being with him, here in a safe bubble, seemingly protected from the outside world. And Christian, he's enjoying your company more and more each day. Things are seamless and comfortable between the two of you, conversations are easy, and the silences are never awkward.

He has been thrilled to have you with him as he embarks on a new season with Milan. You've been able to travel to away games with him and we're blown away on your first trip to the San Siro.

One particularly warm evening after a match, you walk out of the bathroom in a pair of pajamas that show far more skin than any others you've worn around him. You pretend not to notice the way his breath hitches in his throat when he sees you and the way his eyes follow you as you slip into bed next to him.

"You ok?" you whisper, resting your head on his chest noticing the way his heart is hammering away.

"Couldn't be better," he sighs, trailing his hands over the exposed skin on your back and shoulders noticing when your skin erupts in goosebumps, a reaction he's not used to from you.

"I've got the next couple of days off, I thought we might take a little trip to Lake Como tomorrow, have some lunch, see the area," he says quietly, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"That sounds nice," you whisper, turning to place a kiss to his chest.

"And I have a surprise for you tomorrow night," he smiles as you turn to look him in the eyes, resting your chin on his chest.

"You know I hate surprises," you grin, a glint of playfulness in your eyes.

"I know, but this is a good one, and you're not getting it out of me," he grins back at you, tickling your sides and making you squeal.

"Now, let's get some sleep, we have an early morning tomorrow," he says, reaching to turn off the light and gesturing for you to turn on your side so that he can be the big spoon.

"Good night y/n," he whispers, "love you," as he places a feather light kiss on your shoulder, so light you almost don't notice it.

"Good night, Chris, love you too." You whisper back to him, intertwining your fingers with his.

The next morning, you both wake up early and have a quick breakfast before leaving for the day's adventure. Lake Como is more beautiful than you could imagine and you share a lunch that borderlines on romantic at a small cafe that overlooks the lake.

"I can't believe we are here," you nudge him with your shoulder as you walk down a small path towards the waters edge.

"I'm sure you could sweep some lucky girl off of her feet here," you chuckle at him noticing the way his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Probably, but that's not what today is about is it," he rolls his eyes at you, "today is about me and you spending time together, not me scoping out potential date spots."

"I know, but what better place to fall in love than Italy, Christian," you say, twirling yourself around in front of him, missing the absolutely smitten look on his face.

"Maybe," he shrugs his shoulders, his eyes never leaving you.

"Are you going to tell me what this surprise is?" you ask him, looping your arm through his and resting your head on his shoulder. Noticing the way his skin reacts to your fingers tracing over his skin.

You like Kelsea Ballerini right?" he asks, as he rests his head on the top of yours as you both of you stare out over the water at the colorful houses dotting the horizon.

"I do, her new album is practically an anthem for my life right now, why?" you breathe out, shuddering as his arm wraps around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

"She's playing at the stadium tonight, and I might have gotten tickets for us," he says lowly, tilting his head up so that he can look you in the eyes and see your reaction.

"Playing at the stadium, as in your stadium? In Milan?" you nearly squeal, turning to fully face him as he nods.

"Thank you," your voice comes out low, barely above a whisper as tears well in your eyes, "for this, and for everything, you've always been the one person I could count on no matter what, and I honestly don't know what I would do without you."

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, lingering a bit longer than normal as you notice him swallow dryly.

Leaning back slightly, you take in his features, suddenly mesmerized by his beauty. You've always known Christian was attractive, that much was obvious to you, but Italy has done him a world of good. His summer tan has lingered a bit longer, freckles dancing over his skin, and his eyes seem a bit brighter and more full of hope than you've seen them in a while. You catch your gaze lingering over his lips, noticing how soft and plump they are and wondering what they might feel like pressed against your own.

Christian has been your best friend for as long as you can remember, there isn't a single core memory of yours that doesn't involve him, being here with him the past couple of weeks, his patience, support and attentiveness have healed parts of you you didn't know needed healing.

Part of you never thought it was possible to develop feelings for him beyond friendship, and yet, when he's looking at you the way he is at this very moment, it makes you wonder if there couldn't be something more there.

"You're staring," he whispers, enjoying the flood of color that rushes to your cheeks.

"Am I not allowed to stare at my best friend? You're kind of beautiful you know?" you say, your eyes never leaving his.

"You're the beautiful one," he whispers, leaning down and glancing at your lips, almost as if he's thinking of kissing them before kissing the tip of your nose.

You turn, facing the horizon again as his arms squeeze your waist. "I love it here," you breathe out, feeling him nod as he rests his chin on your shoulder, but you aren't quite sure if by "here" you mean your actual location, or if you mean in Christian's arms.

"We should go," he gives you a gentle squeeze and slides his hand into yours.

The car ride home is quiet, he can tell you're lost in your own thoughts and he'd give anything to know what you are thinking about as you stare out of the window. Truthfully, he's a bit lost in his on thoughts as well, trying to come to terms with everything he's been feeling over the last few days.

Back at his apartment, you start getting ready for the concert, Christian ordering dinner for the two of you to eat as you get ready. You pick out a flowy dress, something that accentuates your best features, wanting to look pretty for yourself, and you catch yourself thinking that you also want to look pretty for him. You want him to be proud to have you with him, not that he's ever made you feel otherwise.

Once you are finally ready to go, you walk out of his bathroom about the same time as he walks out of his closet, also dressed and ready to go. You both silently stare at each other, soaking one another in before his lips curl slightly at the edges as he makes his way over to you.

"You look beautiful as always," he smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek, dangerously close to the corner of your mouth.

"So do you," you blush slightly at his compliment as he takes your hand and leads you to the car waiting to pick you up.

The concert is amazing, Christian never leaves your side, and most of the night he has one or both arms wrapped around your waist.

As the first notes of "Penthouse" ring out around the stadium he moves so that he is standing behind you, both arms around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder as he gently sways with you to the music.

Tears well in your eyes at the words that seem so very personal to you, a few spill over as Christian grips onto your hips turns you around. He brings his hands up to cup your face as he brushes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs as the music fades out.

You're staring at each other, both of you knowing exactly what is coming next, as she belts out the healed version of "I kissed someone new last night, and now I don't care where your sleeping baby," Christian presses his lips to yours.

The kiss is soft and slow, and without a moment's hesitation you grip your fingertips into his t-shirt as you melt into the kiss; his lips slotting perfectly against yours, just as you had imagined they would. Suddenly, it feels like all of the pieces have fallen into place.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours, "I love you, y/n" he says quietly, only loud enough for you to hear. A couple of tears fall from your eyes, as you nod and say "I love you too, Christian."

"No, baby, I need you to understand what I'm saying. I'm in love with you, I am desperately in love with you," he says as he bumps his nose against yours.

"I know, and I'm in love with you too," you grin, a squeal escaping your lips as he picks you up and spins you around.

"Stay in Italy with me, I can't bare for you to leave me," he says as he pulls you closer to him, burying his face into your neck, "we can both start over here, and we can start building a life together," he says hesitantly, searching your features for an answer he is hoping will be yes.

You nod and he crashes his lips back to yours in a much heavier yet still reserved kiss considering you are in public.

"So you're staying," he mumbles against your lips.

"I'm staying" you grin, "until you're sick of me."

"That's never going to happen sweetheart," he smiles sweetly, "never."

Tag list:

@chelseagirl98 @neverinadream @masonspulisic @pulisicsgirl @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @nyctophilic0vitnir @lunamelona @tall-tanned-tattoo @lizzypotter14

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic fic #christian pulisic fluff

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drdemonprince · 10 days

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I recently finished reading your book Unlearning Shame, and I absolutely loved it. I found the conceptual framework of Internalized Shame and your techniques for it so very helpful, especially when most ideas of mental health (anxiety and depression, trauma, etc.) have seemed insufficient and useless to me.

However, there was one thing that kind of bugged me the whole way through reading it. Your primary focus was the shame people face as part of marginalization, but often, this too felt insufficient for me. Like, I do face a lot of this flavor of shame: I'm an autistic trans woman, feeling like I'm cringey or childish or creepy or obscene or whatever are things that bug me daily, and restrict a lot of my freedom.

However, a lot of the shame I deal with stems from some kind of awful things I've done in the past, and this is perhaps the loneliest and most difficult kind of shame I deal with. To be fair, I think a lot of this has been very closely linked to my marginalization: people would interpret genuine mistakes of mine as signs I was some awful, manipulative predator, and quickly oust me from their friend groups as a result. If I had been an allistic cis man I would have faced far gentler behavior, or at least far more people would have justified the shit I did.

Regardless, very little in the book dealt with shame tied to guilt and wrongdoing. I remember there was mostly just this one tantalizing line about how even previous members of neonazi groups can benefit from speaking shame, but other than that, I didn't see much.

So my question here is, do you know how to deal with the shame of doing something really bad, and facing the consequences?

Thank you for asking, I'm glad you liked the book!

There are answers for you throughout the book, I think. Arguably, many of the examples of shame I outline involve feeling regret or shame over one's actions. People who do not recycle "enough" and feel profound shame and anxiety about it are people who have done something "wrong," in their minds. So are people who have repeated internalized transphobic/racist/fatphobic/etc messages to other people who share the same identities as them. These people's actions are systemically caused, and they are suffering from those same systemic forces that provoked them to take actions they feel bad about.

You aren't any more morally culpable than any of them, and you aren't qualitatively different from them -- even if you are likely telling yourself that what you did is so much "worse" and so much less justified.

You can find much of the advice that I apply to people who feel ashamed about an experience (a rape survivor, say), apply equally to you as someone who might have done something you view as "wrong." You can also look to the material in chapters 7 and 8 about finding grace and perspective for others who have done wrong to us, and apply much of that yourself. A person must be held in community before they can be held accountable, for example. Understanding the circumstances that contributed to your behavior is important, which it sounds like you've already done some work on, as is contemplating the needs you were attempting to meet with your actions, and the social supports you currently still need in order to move forward.

If someone has taken actions that go against even their own morals and they feel profoundly ashamed about it, I'd say they are generally still in a state of far-reaching systemic shame that goes far deeper and requires far more healing and support than just addressing the morality of their own actions. There's usually a lot of shame about one's identities, deprivation one is facing, fears of abandonment and attachment insecurities, and other major issues going on. Because a person wouldn't just violate their own moral precepts for no good reason.

No one wants to feel that they are a horrible person according to their own personal standards of goodness. A person's actions always make sense within their own context, and so when someone does something "wrong," either they have done something that they do not actually believe to be wrong, but fear societal judgement for, or they have been pushed to the brink by extreme distress, deprivation, abuse, indoctrination, political repression, exclusion, or likely a combination of those things.

I hope this is making sense. If you feel ashamed of something you have done, you need the exact same healing, safe vulnerability, social support, and trust as someone who is ashamed about something over which they have no control. There is no difference, you are no more deserving of that shame, and shame still will not prevent you from changing your behavior for the better. You can believe wholly that your actions in the past were wrong, and uphold your current values in the present, without deserving to feel any more shame about it.

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kokomos · 11 months

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*°; 𝙄 𝙒𝘼𝙉𝙉𝘼 𝘽𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝘽𝙊𝙔𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙉𝘿 ✦ ‧˚.

dylan lenivy relationship headcanons

+ As the self-proclaimed 'master of music', Dylan is always sharing songs with you. He gets so excited when he listens to something new and it makes him think of you, he has a long ass playlist of songs in your name.

+ He kinda dreads the serious stuff in relationships, he wants everything to stay upbeat and lighthearted.

+ This means you're probably gonna have to take the lead communication-wise, it makes him super uncomfortable to talk about his real feelings.

+ He's such a good support system, though! He appreciates the balance between you two and it affirms his belief that you two are "meant to be".

+ Good at hiding it, but he is riddled with anxiety most days. Some handholding and a couple kisses would help him a lot though (his words, not mine lol).

+ PDA makes him nervous!! He tries to put on a tough face but you really should go easy on him if you guys are in front of other people, even his friends.

+ While working at the camp together, he'll use up most of his energy trying to get you to goof off with him, it doesn't matter how hard you try to stay committed to your responsibilities, you always end up somewhere secluded with your hands all over him. This results in a lot of reprimanding from Chris and too much teasing from the counselors.

+ "I can understand young love, Dylan, but your job comes first! The kids are counting on you, your friends are, I am… blah blah blah"

+ Chris makes such crappy arguments you're leaving your cabin that night to meet up with Dylan again.

+ He loves the thrill from disobeying authority, it makes him feel like a carefree kid again. It's why he likes to tease you a lot! He just loves playing around and wants to make you laugh.

+ Speaking of playing, the kids at the camp see him as one of their own since he's one of the few counselors who will take full part in their shenanigans. It's pretty cute until you find yourself being targeted by a child army under Dylan's command.

+ Takes the most pride in his humor, he adores the sound of your laugh so he'll do anything to hear it again and again.

+ Not necessarily the jealous type, but he can feel threatened if he sees you laughing a lot at someone's jokes.

+ Absolutely loves that he's taller than you even if it's only by a couple inches, he'll take any opportunity to remind you just how small you are compared to him. His signature move is coming up behind you and stretching his big arms over your whole frame to get what you were reaching for.

+ If you're taller than him, he's constantly standing on his tippy toes to close the gap. He secretly likes being smaller than you because he's usually the biggest person in the room and this lets him take on a different role for once.

+ He wants you to take the lead when you two get intimate, despite the attitude he can catch with the others, he's always been more than eager to do whatever you tell him to.

+ He's really so sweet, he loves being good for you.

+ Dylan's also got that secret smart side he likes to keep tightly under wraps unless he gets to flex in front of you lol. He's can't help but get cocky when he sees how impressed you are with his random quantum physics facts/rants.

+ A man who needs a lot of reassurance. It's hard for him to believe you actually want to be with him considering the fake personalities he plays into in order to 'protect' himself.

+ Needs someone who can see him as he is, who really likes him for him and not the persona he created to get through his nervous start at the camp.

— ♡☆

a/n: this was written with a male or gn reader in mind, dylan is gay!!

#dylan lenivy x reader #dylan lenivy headcanons #dylan lenivy imagine #dylan lenivy fluff #the quarry x reader #the quarry headcanons #the quarry imagine

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roman-cup · 9 months

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hhhhh Thinking about how so many people in Phoenix's life just. Leave, for one reason or another.

When he was a kid, Miles was someone who was so important to him, and he just disappeared from class one day and Phoenix had zero idea why. Which later had such a effect on him that once he sees Miles has become a prosecutor, he changes his college major just for the chance to see him again

But in college when he was working on that law degree, he meets Dahlia. And they start dating (Ignoring the iris situation rn) and he is so happy and like lovesick about the whole thing. He ate glass for her. She frames him for murder and goes to jail and obviously he loses her there.

But at least he met Mia from that! Mia became his mentor and he cared deeply for her. And she ends up dying after Phoenix first ever case. (Even after she dies her profile still describes her as "A friend forever" or something like that. ) Mia is still around because Maya and Pearl but she isn't really THERE.

He meets Maya. They aren't really That close in Ace Attorney 1. I think they are both still grieving for Mia to intensely, and in different ways, to really gain that connection just yet. Plus at the time Phoenix is very focused on Miles, that he doesn't really notice how upset Maya is.

But Phoenix does care about her. And she leaves for a bit too. Like. She has every right too of course, I respect her for it. But afterwards Phoenix spends months NOT taking any cases because he misses her so much. The only reason he takes the Lana Skye case is because Ema reminded him of Maya.

And sometime after the Lana Skye case, Miles "The prosecution choices death" Edgeworth fakes his death. Leaving Phoenix now alone and with no closure. Maya is still gone, he doesn't actually like Larry, and even if he did, Larry isn't the kind of guy he can have a serious talk about stuff with, with stuff like this. Phoenix has zero support system. Not that he would open up even if he did, but he doesn't even really have the option.

Maya comes back, to her being accused of murder, but its ok. Phoenix helps her and they have each other's backs.

Maya gets kidnapped.

This is so different then her just leaving to take a short train ride over to her village. Phoenix is nervous that she might die, and Maya actively encourages him to get Matt a guilty verdict even though she WILL DIE and he can't do anything about it.

and then Miles comes back with his smug "Your hatred for me is one-sides" or whatever he said and ahhh, Phoenix deserved to just break down right there. Phoenix had been angerly grieving for a man who was still alive, and now he's here, alive, and also his best friend has been kidnapped and also he has to babysit Pearl. And Miles doesn't seem to realize/want to realize the effect he has had on Phoenix and I know he was going though his own stuff but ahhh.

They get Maya back and Miles leaves AGAIN after this. Phoenix and Miles seemed more mutually ok with it this time but still!

And then there is bridge to turnabout with the whole Iris thing and also he thought Maya was dead for some time there and AHhh

This post has gone off track but like. ahhhh.

#Phoenix and Maya and Miles have such tragic lives but they all respond so differently to that trauma and it so cool to me #idk where this post is going #ace attorney #maya fey #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth

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galacticspaceguy · 11 months

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((Definitely didn't rewrite this ask like 8 different times pshhhh u don't know what ur talking about-))

First things first, I'm 1000000% agreeing with your post about there not being enough platonic Spiderverse x Reader content. I am literally STARVING for platonic Spiderverse PLEASE,,,, there were only like 10 posts when I searched it up last and AO3 was so empty when I checked,,,,

Secondly, I rewatched the first Spiderverse two days ago ((& watched the new one earlier today)), but something about rewatching the original triggered some dormant part of me that has decided that Noir would be SUCH A GOOD PARENTAL / MENTOR FIGURE!!!

So, If you're cool with it, could I get some headcanons or a oneshot ((whatever you're feeling I'm starving here please-)) with him and a reader who's an older teen (like 17-19) and became Spiderman/woman/person when they were in their mid-teens (15/16)? It would probably work best with the context of the reader being a part of the events of the first movie, but in my head, reader has lived their entire life without close friends or anyone they could really talk to about their problems ((especially after they got bit)), so they closed themself off from others. Noir seems like the type that would be able to push someone like them to interact with others more, while also being entirely willing and eager to act as a support system. Maybe the oneshot/headcanon would involve reader getting hurt and Noir patching them up and letting them know that they do have other spider-people available to support them? Preferably gender-neutral but I don't mind either way! :]

((sorry but kinda not sorry for the kinda longish ask ((I did cut it down tho so hopefully it's a bit better)), rewatching Spiderverse triggered something in me that deeply desires parental! Noir so when I saw your post I immediately needed to send in an ask lol))

“You don’t have to shut everything out, you know.”

His words confused you for a moment, until you realized it was gonna be one of those sentimental, overly-emotional, trying to break your walls down, conversations.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You said, rather nonchalantly. You winced when he tightened the bandages around your arms.

You had insisted on going off on your own, resulting in you getting your ass beat- injured.

And apparently Noir was a doctor, so you got stuck with the black and white spiderman variant.

Everyone had tried to engage with you, the pig was very persistent in getting you to crack a smile with his cheesy, cartoony jokes. Their efforts proved to be fruitless.

You lived your entire like without needing anyone, and you weren’t about to change that. It was better that way. You were safer.

“You’re rather cut off for a kid?” It was said like a question, but you knew Noir knew it was a fact.

You acknowledged this was a huff as you cradled you injured arm.

“Could I, uh, see your hand?” Noir held out his own hand. You hesitated, looking between his hand and his masked face. You placed your hand in his.

He began to wrap your bruised hand in bandages that were provided by Mile’s universes Aunt May.

“I know being Spider-Man is hard, but it’s nice knowing there are other spider… people.”

You stayed silent, your answers coming out in hums or little noises, never taking your eyes off of his hands. You stiffened as his fingers touched one of the bruises.

“You’re allowed to talk, kid.” He said, looking you dead in the eye.

“I know that.” You replied, yanking your neatly bandaged hand away from him. “Just don’t see the need for it.”

Noir slightly tilted his head to the side. He hummed after hearing your answer.

“That’s a shame, I quite like the sound of your voice.

Now he was just trying to butter you up.

“Really?” Your tone of voice proved you didn’t believe him.

“Of course. I can only imagine the type of things you’ve got to say.” He leaned back in his chair in Aunt May’s living room. “What’s it like in your world? It’s obvious all our worlds are different.”

You sighed, a bit frustrated. “Look, I swing around, fight the bad guys, get bashed for it on the news, thats my life, nothing more to it.” You pulled your knees closer to your chest as you sat in an armchair.

“Well, if you ever wanna get more… in-depth about it, I haven’t quite lost my hearing yet.” He got up and sent two finger guns your way. It took everything in you not to let a small smile break free.

He left the room, leaving you by yourself. It was quiet and empty.

Suddenly, you didn’t like being alone.

#into the spider verse #spiderman #itsv #spider noir #x reader #y/n #platonic

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denimini · 8 months

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What is going on with Jimin, Jungkook and Jikook?

Warning: long post

I've been a BTS fan since early 2017. Back in the day, I ran this blog here, analyzing a lot of Jikook moments, but life sort of took over, and I stopped having the time for it. However, I never stopped being a fan and observing BTS and Jikook through the years. There's a lot said and written already about the supposed video of JK, but here are my two cents.

To me, the most logical explanation for that video is that this really is Jungkook. The layout of the apartment matches (yes, even the position of the security system, if you have ever watched JKs lives, you'd know that it actually is at his shoulder height, just like in the video), the dog looks like Bam, the couch is the same and this definitely looks like JK. There's also another video of the man in this apartment, alone, shirtless, and having a whole tattoo sleeve on his right arm just like JK. Obviously, we don't know for sure, but it looks like it's him. People say it was filmed in late Feb, early March, and I agree. JK had the same hair then, the outfits look warm, like winter clothes and not to forget, that when JK was stalked in his gym (late of February) there were a lot of fuss about a girl being there with him, so it all checks out in my book.

Now, what the video shows isn't that scandalous. A boy hugging a girl from behind and them playfighting/tickling each other or whatever. It isn't overly explicit. It could mean a lot of things, but it's clear the people are at the very least physically comfortable with each other. It's a short video. We don't know if they're even alone, but it looks like it. There are a number of possibilities for whom this person is to JK: a long-time girlfriend, a casual hook-up, a one night stand, or just a friend.

We'll probably never know for sure. What we do know is that this is an unacceptable invasion of privacy, and the person who took those videos should be sued for all they are worth. I hope we all agree on that, yes?

Now, if this girl is someone JK is dating/has dated/has slept with, where does that leave his and JM's relationship?

In my eyes, as someone who's observed them for literal years now, there's no way JM and JK have always had a strictly platonic relationship. Too much just doesn't add up. Sure, technically, they could be bestest friends with great chemistry, but as someone who is now 30 years old, I don't think I've seen this type of chemistry between people ever be just platonic. At times, it looked too much like sexual tension for it to easily be dubbed as "friendly".

My theory is this (keep in mind these are still just assumptions):

In 2017-2020, pre-Covid era, JM and JK spent A LOT of time together, basically all of it. BTS were super active, they didn't have any breaks. They were always working. Always on tour and doing smth else. JM and JK were pretty young back then (20-24) and this is typically the time when someone discovers their sexuality and starts experimenting, and I believe that at some point they did this together. They were best friends but also had this weird tension and air around them and I think they could've started a physical relationship back then. The members teasing them hear and there about being a couple, also kind of supports this, though of course, it doesn't prove anything.

Contrary to other people, I don't belive they only just fucked. It's very hard to have sex with someone who you are very close to otherwise, who you love and admire as a person, and not catch romantic feelings for them, so I think they did more than fucking. Whether they had a serious relationship or decided not to label it much, due to MS coming up, the group being in jeopardy or other reasons, I tend to think that other than sex, they also had feelings.

Side note: In any case, they were figuring thinks out about themselves as individuals, as well as a pair. I think maybe this is the time JM realized he is definitely bisexual (which he proudly expressed in his photobook of last year in my opinion). Idk what Jk figured out for himself, if anything.

Anyhow, by 2020‐2021 it seemed they had some sort of agreement about what/who they were to each other. At times they could have been on and off. There might have been other people/partners in-between, but I think they were mainly together by this point. It even looked like they lived together for some time. The fact they always took the same car and they were together on JKs birthday night when they first had number 1 on hot 100 sort of proves it. JM's birthday live in 2021 was also sus af (the way he was blushing while mentioning JK and their whole convos, very sus).

I think before Covid they had smth somewhat stable but then Covid hit. Their schedules changed, it was a tough period overall. Suddenly, they were not working and traveling so much, they were staying in SK. I think this was the time things started getting much more real and different. MS was also in the near horizon. Maybe one of them wanted a more committed relationship, and the other wasn't ready. Maybe they were both afraid. Maybe they tried and it didn't really work out. Maybe one finally realized his sexuality and the other had doubs. Whatever it was, the feelings of affection were still there. Chemistry as well. Proof: JM bday live in 2021 was just crazy, the way he blushed when JK was mentioned and the way the spoke to each other... man. Also, the way the were at PTD L.A. The way JK answered questions about JM etc.

So , all that connected them as people was still there, but I think their relationship come late 2021-early 2022 was definitely more unstable. Who knows what happened then. Personally, I don't believe in the theory that they opened their relationship, rather I believe by the second half of 2022, due to whatever reasons, things were simple mostly off between them. I believe they stayed this way all through the second half of the year and at least the first 4 months of 2023. They were friends, their families still loved and supported each other (JK's mom made seaweed soup for JM's bday, which one does for family) but that's about it. They weren't living together anymore, as well.

The beginning of 2023 we saw a very busy JM and a very not busy JK. Sure, they still commented on their welives but it seemed they didn't meet each other that often. Jm was working, JK was at home and occasionally with Tae. Yeah, JK watched a lot of JM content and often invited him over, but he also didn't know when his promotions will be over and it seemed they haven't seen each other for some time and JK was missing JM. I think if they truly were a serious couple back then, they would still have found the time to meet each other no matter how busy one or the other was, especially considering they live in the same city, and it wasnt the case. I don't think JK would have to resort to watching hours of JM's content just to satisfy his need-for-JM thirst, if they were a couple back then.

So, yeah, I think they were not more than friends by this point, for sure, which also ties up pretty well with the timing of the recent leaked video (February-March). To me it seems that JK and JM probably saw other people in that period, at least JK, JM was pretty damn busy then. Maybe they had some serious partners even, maybe just hook-ups here and there. Maybe this was JK's time to explore more of his heterosexual side, who knows. I don't think he stopped caring for JM in some capacity. In fact it kind of looked like he longed for his company but for one reason or another, they were simply not that much in each other's lives in the first quarter of 2023.

But then something weird happened around June-July. First JM is all scratched up from something (presumably Bam) indicating he saw JK and spent time with him. Then Seven came out and JM flew to NY. There they spend a long, fun weekend amid promotions. It wasn't a secret but they seemed to want to keep private and didn't really want to talk about it , judging by the way JK answered the question about JM being in NY as well. JM was practically silent. Then they returned and that welive happened. The one where they openly flirted, JM said he could handle JK naked, JK blushed like a school girl and tried everything in his power to get to JM but JM said "I'm not that easy". That welive. Idk about you, but that welive didn't seem platonic to me at all and if I had been JK's partner at the time, I would definitely be very angry with his behaviour. I don't think JK is disrespectful and a cheater, and neither is JM for that matter, so I believe there's no way any of them had a partner when that welive happened. I simply refuse to belive they are that type of people.

So, my conclusion is they were both single then and something definitely happend in July and NY. They returned somewhat different and they still kind of are. Jk posted pics of NY to Twitter for the first time. Jm shared a pic from then for JKs bday (shirtless, as we all know) and then recently another pic from a boat that could have been from back then, as well. The whole way they're acting offline and online strangely reminds me a lot of the time after their trip to Tokyo, actually. The way JM has been posting about JK very much give me nostalgia about the way he used to post Jikook often in 2017-2018 before he withdrew from social media. But maybe that's just me 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, to finish this long post I will say this. I don't know what Jikook were and are to each other and unless, it is explicitly denied the person in the video is JK, I will believe that it's him. But also, unless it is confirmed he currently has a girlfriend, I will have my doubts. The video is old and in any case, it doesn't prove much other than the fact JK is maybe into women (solely or also into them). This video though doesn't automatically negate everything I've seen between Jikook through the years. In some ways, it confirms what I've been thinking for a long time now. Unless JM and JK personally shut down any rumors about them and deny any romantic connection or confirm a relationship with someone else , I still believe that at some point in their lived their relationship crossed the platonic line.

Whether that was in the past or is currently true, I only can guess, but to me there's no way these two were always, all these years, just only friends.

For now, I will observe how JK, JM and Hybe are acting after the leaked videos and go from there. It will also be indicative.

Peace.

#jikook #jungkook #jimin #bts

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lanternbats · 10 months

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Ok, do you know how much I love the idea of Bruce and Hal being married before Hal becomes Green Lantern? BECAUSE I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! I've literally thought about secret batlantern marriages FOREVER. Because of that, I apologize in advance for the long message. 🙂❤️

Ok, but imagine bringing the kids into the family..... Since Hal is gone for like a month or two on assignment I feel like Brice would just see Dick, and with no one there to stop him, he'd just say "mine" and like forget to tell Hal (or "forget" cuz he's scared Hal would say no) and then Hal comes home and sees Dick and is like. Who tf are you? Like where did you come from? How did you get into my house? And then Dick would just be excited to meet Hal, cause you CAN NOT tell me that Bruce wouldn't gush like a school girl with a crush about Hal (when he's prompted correctly). And thus begins the adoptions that just happen when Hal is on month long assignments.

He comes back from space tired, ready to lay down and just be with family, and boom Jason. Then he finds out Bruce is like the worst at communicating when someone's not there to interpret for him. (The relationship between Bruce and Dick is slowly healed by Hal literally just saying, "That 'hm' means he was worried, that running off to fight thugs in dark alleys ALONE and WITHOUT A COMMUNICATOR really worried him and him sewing a tracker into your suit isn't fully about control, it's really more about needing to find you if that happens again. WHICH IT SHOULD NOT!") Hal would be able to bond with Jason over losing one parent and then it's like the other fell apart. (Obviously they had VERY different upbringings, Jason lived on the streets and Hal had shelter and a kinda support system (idk I think that since Hal was really close to his dad and looked more like him (?) His mom like could not stand to really be around him. But she still loved him, like they just really had a complicated relationship, but then he told him family he wanted to join the air force and suddenly it was like the support system and shelter and love that had been there dried up and he went through the airforce and the everything alonr until he met Bruce.) Anyway, I think that he'd have a pretty good relationship with both Dick and Jason. And that in one of the months where a galaxy ending disaster wasn't happening would be when Jason finds out about Shelia and the whole trust fallout between Bruce and Jason happened. So once again Hal plays the mediator once again and before he's called away again, Jason takes Bruce to Ethiopia with him. (Hal isn't there for the fallout, for the injuries that Jason sustained. He's not even able to be contacted due to how far out he's had to go. It takes him 2 months to come home.)

He returns, and Tim's there. Tim who is apparently not adopted yet, as he is Jason's new friend. He finds his son with randome child #3 in his house helping Jason up the stairs. Jason who has a thick cast on his leg and a cast on his arm with bandages peaking out from his collar. (I think Hal would have like a beak down with Bruce about not being there. Like he has a ring. He was called away a day before everything went down, and he could have prevented the almost crippling of his child, he could have supported his husband and children as they all basically came to the realization that no matter who they fight, how they fight, who they fight with no one really lives forever.) Hal takes leave from the Coorps as long as he can, going back to work for Ferris Air (or Wayne Enterprise's airplane engineering department whatever you want). They slowly pull Tim into the family, learning more and more about the neglect and abuse he's lived through. After a lot, a LOT of lawyer fees, Tim is able to stay with the Waynes permanently. But like all good things, Hals time with his family comes to an end. He returns to space this time with a transmitter that can cover the distance of the universe if it needs to.

Hal's return to the family for the next couple years are uneventful. Until Damians arrival. Damian who begins his life at Wayne Manor with the attempted murder of Tim. And another attempted murder of Tim. And another attempted murder of Tim. A kinda attempted murder of Dick, but one could argue he was just being annoying. Hal's return to the Manor brings the order that they had been lacking. (I kinda think that since Hal grew up in a military household he's a stricter parent. Like he'd definitely be a duper fun parent, take the kids out on adventures and have a great time with them when he can/could but there would be rules that he like 100% would not let up on. Like patrol on a school night ends at 11:30 and if not they're grounded from patrol for the next two nights. Bruce would probably be strict too, but more so in the field. Like the kids could look at him and call him dad and he would break like a piece of angel hair spaghetti.) Anyway, Hal would be able to support Bruce through the idea and fact that he'd been raped. I think Hal and Bruce would have separately gone through a LOT of therapy and like couples therapy too. Not just sprung on by the arrival of Damian, but because Hal had kind of forced Bruce into it after his overprotective nature had pushed Dick away. It might have started as a way to learn better communication, but it ended in Bruce staying with his doctor at Hal's recommendation. (read: Hal noticed Bruce's better regulation of feelings and coping mechanisms and forced him to continue to go to therapy.) Anyway, I think Hal would have a good relationship with Damian, against all the odds. Hal would be the structured support and rules that Damian had grew up with and had been missing since coming to Wayne Manor. Leaving after Damian was a difficult trip. But staying wasn't an option, his departure was just as hard as all the others.

Cass' addition to the family would've taken Hal off guard, if he hadn't been informed. (Communication coming in clutch!) In meeting Hal, Cass had not trusted him. He held himself too wrong, too ridged, too frozen, too similar to her father. Her fear and suspicion had melted away the moment she saw him with Bruce and the other children. His eyes lit up, and his previous tension relaxed. It was in that moment that she knew she what she wanted. Cass and Tim almost immediately became inseparable. The ride or die kind of relationship that they shared led their siblings and parents alike to fear the combined power. Hal's rules practically doubled when they were together, should they plan or go for world domination, Bruce would be the one to deal with it.

As for Bruce and Hal's relationship. I think in the beginning they were very secretive. Bruce had suddenly returned to Gotham and subsequent take over of Wayne Enterprises had Bruce trying to keep the little privacy he had left under wraps. Hal had agreed wholeheartedly to keep the relationship a secret, knowing that once the news eventually reached his family there would be no more quietly whispered scheduled calls between himself and his brothers. No more sporadic text messages between him and his mother. No more shreds of the family he had clung to since being kicked out at 18. Over time, as more and more kids came into their lives the secritiveness of their relationship became too much to keep up with, it wasn't secret secret anymore, however it was a very private relationship. No one in Gotham/media knew they were together, however they weren't actively hiding it anymore. They just didn't advertise that they were together. As for the Justice League, Batman never joined. The Green Lanturns involvement in a organization of superheros was practically informed when the Coorps inevitably found out about it, however, Bruce never found it to be necessary to involve himself in the League, excluding large scale events where he and the rest of the family would make themselves known.

I think in the inevitably that they are found out, the news would break to the media first. A mistyped photo catching them kissing just outside of the gates of the manor or in a coffee shop on the edge of the Diamond District and suddenly the gossip rags of the city, and the major news conglomerates of the surrounding cities are blasting the news of Brucie Wayne's new relationship! With the subsequent findings of Bruce Wayne's new boy toy (suddenly found out to be HUSBAND!) Hal Jordan, a decorated Air Force veteran now working as a test pilot, while not in active duty, still working to preserve the lives of his friends and family. With his reveal to the public, Hal's relationship is revealed to the Justice League. And thus, the integration of the Batfamily into the Justice League begins.

Ok!!! So that was really long. Wayyyyy longer than I thought, but thank you for letting me share!!!! Anything I'm missing or you want to add would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for sharing their secret marriage, because I'm not going to lie, I've literally been thinking about this forever!!! Ok have a great day, thank you again!

Hi omg every concept you mentioned here is so interesting! I zoomed in so hard on "Jason lives" aspect especially, I’m so intrigued. I can totally see the “a death in the family” storyline having a different outcome if the family dynamic was different, but the sheer pain potential of Hal considering Jason a son and returning from space only to find out he died months ago… oh my god… (maybe I’m writing something about that very premise. Who knows.) Hal doesn’t play favourites doesn’t play favourites of course, but like you said there is definitely an unspoken bond between Jason and Hal.

I also understand surprisingly strict parent Hal, but I can totally see it in a more “You guys need to have regular lives outside of vigilante stuff and I am going to set some rules so that you can have that because we know Mr. Bat Suit over here doesn’t know what that even means.” so he takes them to sports games and movies and makes sure they have their homework done. “Please go and hang out with your friends or you’re grounded.” “What.” “Here I will literally give you money, just go to the mall and don’t fight anyone.”

And OH BOY. Damian. Let’s be real, Damian probably would have tried to kill Hal too if he was there when he arrived. What a mess that would be, Hal stay in space for a second dude. But anyways Hal and Damian’s dynamic is one of my faves to read fics about, I love the idea of Damian (post murder attempts) adoring Hal. Again, Hal would try his hardest to give Damian a normal childhood. I would also really like to see a fic where Bruce worked through what happened to him and how it resulted in a son and the very complex feelings that come with that.

Also? The concept of the bat family not joining the justice league but being Hal’s back up is so funny. Messing with the Green Lantern and expecting him to call the corps but no, his back up is a bunch of over protective bats. Good luck!

#batlantern #asks #sa mention #I'm glad you liked my original post!! makes me smile to know it brought joy to people aha #also i love long messages i love talking about batlantern. clearly.

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copperbadge · 1 year

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Review: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

I am still trying to log my reading more diligently! And this one is the latest. Now there’s a title that makes it tough to recommend to people without a lot of disclaimers. :D

My psychiatrist is a specialist in medication management, and while he does see patients therapeutically, I’m not one of them; he sees me to prescribe ADHD medication and make sure I’m not having side-effects or misusing it. But of course part of the meeting is just chatting so he can gauge my behavior for himself, and in our last meeting we got onto the topic how I haven’t told my parents about my diagnosis because I don’t think any good can come of it. After explaining my somewhat complex relationship to my mother and stepfather, who I love but who also can be difficult, he recommended Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (subtitle: “How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents”) by Lindsay Gibson.

It’s kind of a shame the book title is so direct, because I think my mother could actually really use to read it, but if you recommend a book like that to your parents it means you also read it and that...does not send a super great message about how you feel about them.

I did a lot of highlighting.

Although, in the end, not for the reasons one would think. In part, while I recognized parental behaviors described in the book, I also recognized behaviors in myself. About halfway through, especially when Gibson was writing about how emotionally immature parents generally come from emotionally immature parenting themselves, I had to stop and think, “Oh. Maybe this is also me.” Fortunately I’m not a parent nor likely to become one, but it’s still a bit of a hard truth to see yourself in that kind of thing. I’m not much one to cause drama, at least not intentionally, and I try to be a generally good and emotionally supportive friend, but some of the stuff -- shallow emotional affect, difficulty with empathy and intimacy, anxiety surrounding strong emotion and personal relationships -- landed kind of close to home.

The problem with self-help books and books like this which are on the edge of the self-help genre is that they tend to be written very structurally. They have a specific way of being, which if you’re already part of the way to the conclusions they’re presenting (or familiar with the scammier ones) can be less helpful. For one, because they are aimed at people who tend to be wounded and confused, they lay out whatever they’re discussing in a very systematized way, and human behavior often defies systems. I was seeing aspects of behavior in my parents and myself here and there, but none of us fit into the categories the book lays out. Most people won’t fit precisely, but being an outlier doesn’t really help.

And, honestly, the case studies that are meant to resonate tended not to, simply because I looked at them and went “Oh, that person was abused. Those behaviors happened to me, but not at that level, and not in those ways.” I struggled too with the “workbook” aspects, where you’re asked to answer specific questions or make a list of things. One of the questions was “I wish people would just ______” where you fill in the blank, and like...I don’t have wishes like that. I’m still trying to figure out what I would even put there. Not stand in front of bus doorways so often? Stop voting Republican? I suspect that’s not what they’re reaching for.

And when you get a little distance on stuff like the categories and case studies, what you start to see is a book that, like many books in this vein, could be half the length it is. So much of this book is designed to cause a resonance with the reader and then reinforce and reinforce and reinforce that resonance -- there’s a lot of repetition of theme in order to pull someone emotionally further and further into the book, meanwhile not really presenting new information, just the same information framed within a different anecdote. I don’t condemn that; it’s what you have to do to sell the book, and to sell the ideas within it to some people. Otherwise it’s not super publishable, and I get that. But once you see the manipulation going on it’s hard not to react poorly to it.

A shorter, more informative book wouldn’t necessarily appeal to people who are pulled into the book via those reinforcements, but I started to do a lot of skimming because I knew I could. In that sense it’s a fast read, but I’m sure I missed some information here and there.

And the real problem is that the solutions presented for how to deal with emotionally immature parents as an adult are all things I was already doing, which after all the emotional build of earlier was quite disappointing. The reason I’m capable of having a pretty positive relationship with my parents is that I know how to handle them without taking too much psychic damage, enough that it’s worth maintaining a relationship, and apparently that’s as good as it’s going to get. There’s a lot healing from the harm inflicted just in those behaviors, but also for anyone wanting to DIY the rest, there’s not much good advice -- it circles back around to “Go to therapy and heal your childhood wounds” which is fine, I guess, but not a super executable solution for me. It reminded me powerfully of reading a book about autism when I was younger; there was a chapter about resources for family members of people with autism, and within that chapter there was one paragraph about siblings. I can give it to you in a sentence: “Asking your neurotypical child to help their autistic sibling is very character-building and will teach them responsibility.” Sure, but could we not dig for something a little deeper?

So, insightful book, potentially very useful if you do have a fraught relationship with your parents, but unfortunately not terribly helpful to me personally. Still, worth getting out of the library.

#book reccs #parental relationships

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mist-see · 1 year

Text

Pain

⚠️ Cursing, detailed descriptions of Bella's body, dead beat mother mentioned ⚠️

Where does he go?

Today in a long time was beautiful. Forks was showing its true beauty as the sun shined through the trees and glistened against the water. For the first time in a while, it wasn’t humid or cold, but breezy and warm, maybe if you were lucky you’d have time to go to the beach and get a tan today. I don’t know, maybe even find a lover…wait.

You cringe at the thought, your hand coming to a pause from the math problem. Ugh. The thought makes your stomach acid bubble up with disgust. Then your mind flashes to Embry and hid derpy smile, you stomach suddenly reacting with nervousness. The two of you were meant to hang out later, no members of the pack, no phones, just you and him with the warm water from the beach. If only life was that simple.

It’s been two weeks since Bella and Edward went away on their honeymoon and a week since you’ve had that conversation with Embry. A month since you’ve been in Forks. Summer break was over. During that time you realize you truly couldn’t bring yourself to leave Forks again, you wanted to, to leave to feel the Atlantic air once again, but that deep void of emptiness was terrifying.

To be alone in your dorm, fighting internally with your instincts, fighting yourself for the break up that had you feeling empty every time you were alone at night, sob-less tears trickling down your face as you dreamt. You didn’t need that, you needed your family, you even risked having to share a shower with them again if that meant having someone faithful in your presence.

That’s why you transferred to Peninsula College. Local, close to your new support system. Also, close to your ex-boyfriend's family while he frolics in the wind of whatever he’s at. Ugh.

Someone faithful, huh? That voice spoke in your head just in time as your brother comes out of his room with his motorcycle keys in hand. You watched him as he puts on his worn boots in a semi hurry, quiet, yet you could tell he was loud internally. Where does he go? Jacob didn’t go to school anymore, studying for his GED when he had the chance, and he only worked Fridays to Sundays. And his stone expression says he wasn’t visiting any friends.

Ain’t shit faithful about this damn family, they hid shit from you, betrayed you. I gotta let that go. You sighed, sitting up from your slouched position in hopes to focus on the task at hand. Instead, you hear the opening of the fridge and the fidgeting of the sandwich meat package. “So… where have you been going nowadays.” You asked for the first time since his whole leaving out early and coming back late act. Theirs no way he has a girlfriend.

You watch as he rolls his shoulders back while he makes a quick sandwich, releasing the tense feeling he constantly had. “Just hanging around, you know? So how’s you and Embry?” Changing the subject, and he did it so fast. You’ll let it slide, to focused on your own problems, you couldn’t really care what Jacob was doing in his free time. Except you do, just not today.

Me and Embry? You truly couldn't find the way you arms filled with goosebumps at the mention of his name. You don't even have a crush on him. But why did it feel so good hearing his name? “Well…we’re getting better, speaking more. We’re supposed to go out later once he’s off from work, we’ll see.” As you spoke, Jacob finally faces you with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand while the other one fidgets with his keys. Seems like he doesn’t even want to speak, just trying to get me off his back so he can go handle whatever.

Maybe I’m overthinking.

Jacob's eyes narrowed at this, not knowing how he felt about his best friend coming over, alone, just the two of you. But, he just releases a hot breath from his nose as he eats the rest of the sandwich, hand coming down and wiping it against his jeans. He knew there was nothing he could do, except be the annoying little brother he was meant to be.

You were reading into the silence too much, to your brother it was probably comfortable, but in all honesty, you still couldn’t fully feel comfortable with him. All of this lying and secrets, the only person to trusted was yourself.

But you needed to break the silence so he could go about his day. “You’re really ugly, I keep forgetting we found you under a bridge.” He scoffed, annoyed but smiling, happy you were still you, the annoying big sis he needed.

“Yeah, says the mistress baby, I’m out!” It was your turn to scoff, yours loud and sarcastic. “Huh! Jokes on you, I’m not even offended!” You childishly stuck your tongue out at him, which he mirrors as he walks to the door. Just like that, all of that insecurity you were feeling was gone, all that anger washing away as you play fight with your brother.

“Yeah whatever dog brains, bye!” Before you could clap back, the fragile door slams against its hinges, making you gasp. He ate you up. You cringe in disgust as you hear the bike engine roar to life and slowly fade away. You hated losing arguments with him, never again.

|Jakes Pov|

It felt great today. It was a shame that I’d be spending this day with the Cullens, the only people in Forks who couldn’t even enjoy the sun. Why am I socializing with my enemies? Well… its not that I have much of a choice. She was back.

Bella was back

In the worst possible condition, she could be in. But she wasn’t them, not yet. She was still her.

If I could- if I could just convince her to get rid of it- to save herself, then maybe… maybe she’ll have a chance to be… her.

Or maybe I’m just prolonging the inevitable.

She’s dying. She’s dying from his baby, and there is nothing I can do but sit there and watch the one I fell for wilt away.

Pulling in front of the large White House I couldn’t help but to cringe at the smell once again. A week here and I’m still not used to it, my body constantly reacting negatively.

“Jake!..” I smiled as her soft voice says my name. “Hey, Bells.” My voice was softer as well, so afraid if I raise it I could somehow break her. She was so fragile. Her hair was thinner, her skin, pale with blue undertones, no longer fair with red cheeks. Her eyes were sunken in as if she was getting drained slowly by slowly, but they still held that beautiful light in them, if anything the light was brighter than before. Her body was smaller, skinnier, and delicate as that demon feeds from her, and her lips… her lips were stained red. The only source of color she seemed to have.

“I missed you..” she reaches up for my hand, which I gently, and quickly grabbed to warm her up. “You missed me or you missed your natural heating source?” I grinned as she grinned. “Both,” she laughed, slowly moving over which I was quick to help her do. “Hey, I got it.” I leaned her against me, and I swore I heard edwards marble teeth grind against each other from the far corner.

Speaking of the devil. “Jacob..” I pulled her cold body closer, something in me telling me that he’d take her away. Even if he already has.

But to my surprise when I look over to the man that hurt my best friend, he was glaring at the woods, stone body fidgeting with his hands. “What,” I answered, trying my hardest to act like I didn’t care what he was thinking.

Then he turns towards me and Bella, thick brows turned inwards as if he was thinking long and hard.

Oh, this is serious.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” His voice cracks. It was weird. He was so perfect, he walked perfectly, he talked perfectly, and he dressed perfectly. Yet here he was, slowly breaking down as his world-my world begins to rot and die.

Looking down at Bella, she gives me a small smile before shifting away. The Blondy takes my place, but instead wraps a thicker blanket against her frame. Edward barely spared me a look as we began walking a trail into the woods, by the river so the ones on the inside couldn’t listen in.

“You know… I’d always known you’d destroy her… just not in this way..” I couldn’t help but to bring myself to say it. I’ve been coming here for a week and every time I see her… and see what IT does to her I can’t but hate this freak even more.

Staring longingly at the trees Edward takes a shaky breath, an attempt to get fresh air before slowly turning towards me. “She… she thinks Carlisle can turn her at the last minute,” My back straightens at this.

At this point did I have a choice? It was too late, her body failing her every day, I knew this was coming but I wish I wasn’t going to be there to witness it.

“Like he did for me and Esme.” He finishes.

This time it was me who took in a deep breath, nerves running through me. This could work, it had to. “Well… can he??” I questioned, quickly wanting an answer and not some wordplay.

“It’s… slight.” Bringing my hands up to my face I release an aggressive sigh. I guess I should’ve known that. I mean, look at her.

“Edward… she has to live.”

“And if her heart stops…” he pauses, amber eyes falling into the leaves and dirt as if he’d given up. This isn’t the time to give up. “Go on with it.” My hands drop to my sides, fists clinching, not wanting him to say it, but I wanted him to. Just so he could feel that this was real, that this pain hurts.

“Jacob… do something for me…” I scoffed. How dare he.

“If not for me then for her!” He asserted.

Now I’m listening. Looking back at him I sigh, tilting my head so he’d know to continue.

“You have this… connection to her that I’ll never understand. Maybe you could talk to her, to try… to try to save her,” his lip quivers as if he’s about to cry.

“You could keep her alive.”

Tuh… there was no changing Bella Swan's mind. In the back of my mind… I knew. I knew how this was going to end. But I needed to try.

“And if I can’t?”

“If she dies…” there it was. Edward Masen. His eyes went blank, no light in those stone-cold pupils as he spoke about the maybe death of the love of my life. I almost felt pity for him. But unfortunately, I had months of preparation for this day.

“If she dies,” he repeated as if it was hard to get out. “You get what you always wanted, to kill me.” He shrugs. He shrugs as if it was the simplest thing ever.

“I can’t live without her.”

Walking back into the living room, the first thing I see is a smaller Bella wrapped around a heavy comforter and fuzzy grey socks.

She dismissed blondy-or Rose before I took my seat on the couch in front of her.

“You two besties now?” I try to lift the sour mood from earlier, which she appreciates with a smile. “Rose knows what I want. I guess we have some things in common.” She sighs as if this was the beginning of something great.

“How’s ___?” Ugh… she just had to say it huh? My sister…

I’m betraying her right now, and it hurts.

“Um…”I chew on my lip as I looked down. How can I say this without stressing her out more? “Um, what?… hey… don’t tell me something bad happened... Rose and Alice said they saw her the other day with Leah. Said she looked… different.” She plays with the blanket, a small nervous tic.

“No, no nothing bad… well… ___ is kinda dealing with some wolf hormones right now… and she imprinted on Embry.” Bella smiles her beautiful smile, before settling on a closed-lip one. “Well- I guess I kinda assumed that would happen… she looked different during the wedding. And… tell her I said good luck on the whole imprinting journey… and, and that I’m sorry.” The smile was no longer on her face. She still felt bad about the whole wedding situation.

I didn’t get much information on it, my dad and Sue filled me in once I came back. “I’ll make sure to tell her that… she needs to hear it.”

She does need to hear that… the woman your man cheated on you with, the woman who’s now pregnant with death itself has the balls to apologize… but not me…

I fucking suck.

“So… did Edward send you in here to change my mind?” She grins weakly

“Sort of. Though I’m not sure why, it’s not like you listen to me, you never did.” We both laugh at this. So stubborn.

“What are you thinking bells? Seriously.”

She rests her bony hand on her belly. “I know it seems like a bad thing. Something that… shouldn’t even exist. But it’s not, it’s not scary, it’s beautiful, a baby. He’s a miracle.”

I scoff again, trying my hardest to not say something offensive, or at least try to play it as a joke. “So it’s a bouncing baby boy?- I’m sorry I didn’t know, should’ve brought some blue balloons.”

She grins, shaking her head. “It’s just a guess… I’ve been having dreams about a curly-headed boy. And my dreams are usually real. I guess we’ll see.” I shake my head, elbows now on my knees as I leaned in.

“No… you won’t.”

“Jacob I can do this! I’m strong enough ” She says, hope in her eyes.

I could feel the anger come back to me, the anger I felt when I first saw her bruised belly.

“Tuh- oh come oooon. You can yap that shit to your bloodsucker but you don’t fool me, Bella.” Her brows push together from the cursing.

“I’m not blind Bella, I can SEE what that thing doing to you, that pixie girl said it! She can’t see you anymore, she can’t see you alive!” My voice began to raise, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad as I watched her lean backward.

“You’re wrong…” It made me sick at how bright those brown eyes were. She had so much hope that this would work, but my gut, my gut tells me otherwise.

“And when you die… what was it all for? Huh? Me loving you, you loving him, how is that fair? Huh? Tell me Bella how is that right to anyone?” She stayed quiet, the face of mourning on her face. She knew I was leaving slowly.

“Cuz I sure don’t see it.” She begins to tear up, and I feel my heart-shattering. I keep breaking my promise to her. Breathing out I get off the couch and sit on my knees in front of her, gently taking her cold hand that rested on her belly.

“Listen to me, Bella…. Please!” I begged, my eyes getting blurry but I blink away the tears so I can stare right into her eyes. “Just don’t… don’t do this. Live- okay? Screw my emotions, don’t do it for me or Edward. But do it for Charlie! Do it Renée!” She lets out a sob, her lips curling into each other before looking out the window.

“Jake…” that wasn’t fair of me, but life isn’t fair. THIS isn’t fair.

“Everything is going to be okay.”

Even though she heard my words, she refused to listen to them.

Letting out a broken breath, I nodded, eyes going down to glare at the kicking belly before I take my hand away from hers and stand up.

Jake- don’t go!” She sighed, throat too fragile to raise her voice. But I grabbed my jacket before giving her one good look.

“I know how this ends.” I force myself to keep my eyes on hers, but they found their way back to her stomach. “I’m not sticking around to watch.”

And so I walked off.

Walking past Rose, past Edward, and past Carlisle until I reached my motorcycle.

All that anger I was storing from her came back. I couldn’t even bring myself to start up the engine before I threw the leather jacket against the gravel and kicked the machine against the trees.

Then I felt that heat again. That burning heat that I grew to admire.

I felt myself rip out my skin and run into the woods, the burning lasting a fraction of a second before I howled out.

“Jake?” ___ called out

“Jacob, what’s wrong?” No, no no no Seth shut up, I tried whipping my head, trying to force the images of Bella sitting there half dead, of her bruised stomach from a week ago, of Edward asking me to kill him. Of me begging, pleading with her to give her life another chance. And the soft voice of Bella trying to call me back.

Visions in my head and voices in my ears, I didn’t notice the car suddenly swerving to the side to come to a stop. But I didn’t give them a chance to let them look as I hopped back into the woods.

I howled once more, calling for the pack, just hoping that there was a way for them to help

“Jake??”

“Jake!”

“Jacob what going on??”

“Jake this can’t be real”

We all run to the meeting spot, at the peer where the trees lay for construction.

“Is it true Jacob?” Paul asked lips coming over his teeth as he circled me. “It’s growing fast,” he says again, the others coming behind me.

Leah gets there with Seth, her voice louder than the others, “It’s unnatural!” “Dangerous!” Jared's voice yelled after hers. “An abomination!” Paul growls, causing me to bare my teeth in defense, but Quil was quick to choose his side. “We can’t have that thing on our land!”

“We can’t allow it!” They repeated as they circled me.

“She’s pregnant…”

___…

|___ pov|

Everyone turns to face you. And for the first time in a while, you felt like a kicked dog. The flashes of Bella and her bruised protruding belly as she sat there pale. Her voice echoed and meshed with Edwards. Then his lone voice whispered, “If she dies, you get what you’ve always wanted, to kill me.”

Whimpering, your ears press to the back of your head, feet taking a step backward. “Y/n..” Embry walks up to you, feeling your hurt

He got her pregnant. After you thought that pain was away, it was back, and it was fresh. So fresh you felt your heart bleeding.

Then a throaty bark sounded from above us. Sam.

“We have to protect the tribe. We come first, Forks is always first!” You huff out from your snout, your sides instantly warmer as you felt Seth and Embry get closer to you.

“Once that thing is born it won’t be able to control its thirst!”

“We’re ready!” Jared announced

“No time to waste. Let’s go!” This time it was Leah, making you peel back your lip in a growl.

“Let’s think this through!” Your voice echoes in their heads, Leah, the first one to approach you. “Absolutely not! ___, remember what they’ve done to you! You got hurt by those bloodsuckers! They deserve it!” Not like this.. not like this.

They don’t need to hurt like this.

“Right now?!” Jacob steps up to Sam, his ears twitching back

“We have to get rid of it before it’s born.”

Oh god…

“You mean… kill Bella?” Seth steps beside Jacob, which you get in front of him just in case Sam had the thought of putting the younger in his place.

“Seth…”

“Her choice affects all of us!” A growl is released from your throat, a sign which Sam takes as disrespect. His brown eyes flick toward you.

“What do you have to say?”

“Sam don’t do this!”

Embry speaks up, approaching you, only to get shut down with a bark from Sam.

“I won’t be a part of this! Me and my brother won’t do it!” It was time to act like a big sibling, your big body pushing Jacobs over so he wouldn’t get hurt.

“You, are nothing but a lost puppy. You don’t get to say anything!” He barks, but you didn’t flench like the others around you. You were good at taking disrespect you just recently found out. But you still felt it, the need to bow down and obey the alpha, you just couldn’t do it.

“Bella’s human!” Jacob cuts in, trying to get the attention back to himself. “Our protection applies to her!”

“She’s dying anyways!” Leah snaps her teeth, digging them into the fat of jacobs neck. Oh fuck no.

That friendship meant shit to you if she disrespects your brother in front of you. You moved faster, clenching your jaw down into her neck to pull her off of him. “Don’t touch him!” You seethed, wide tongue coming out to lick your teeth. Leah’s ears press against her head as it ducks down in submission

Being older only gets you some places. But being Ephraim Black's great-granddaughter gave you the advantage. You were supposed to be the Alpha. And the others were realizing it.

“Enough!” You gave the girl one last growl before whipping your head back to Sam

“We have real enemies to fight tonight!” He starts coming down the tower of logs, making his way toward you and your brother.

“Tonight?!” You and Jakes voice sync, Seth’s whine catching your brother’s attention. But you didn’t dare take your eyes away from Sams.

“You will fight with us. The both of you.” He commands, causing you both to step back. “Jacob don’t you fucking listen to this old bitch.” You growl, head ducking down, which Sam snips at you, teeth almost coming closed on your snout before you backed up just in time.

You snarl at him, Jake doing the same thing. It was only for a few seconds before you finally made up your mind.

You were leaving.

You had to.

“I won’t! I will not sit here and go kill my best friend and her child! I am the granddaughter of Ephraim Black!

“And I am the grandson of Ephraim Black!

“We aren’t meant to take orders from you Sam Uley. I wasn’t born to follow you or anyone else. But I will follow my brother. Because we know what’s right! And this shit ain’t right!”

“___!” Embry yelled out, knowing what you were going to do.

You ignored him, you had to. ”I’m out!” You bark, teeth on display as you bump into Sam, and went up the logs.

Fuck them. I don’t need them.

“So, you choose your little brother instead huh?”

You send him a glare before focusing your eyes on the White House in front of you, the Cullens house. “Okay… I deserve that. I betrayed you, your trust… I deserve this.”

Boy, fuck you.

“I betrayed my imprint. My friends… but I do this because know what's right and what's wrong... And this shit is wrong.” I shake my head, heart heavy with what felt like grief when I bring up embry.

We never got to hang out together. Will we ever? Now that I broke my bond with that pack, we’ll see each other less, and it’ll hurt like hell.

“Garcelle called today.”

Jacob whips his head toward me with wide eyes, but he couldn’t get anything out as the trees move behind us. A boy with a tilted smile comes out, letting you release a sigh.

“Seth.” You and your brother say at the same time, making you roll your eyes.

“Kid, what are you doing here?” You asked, eyes immediately searching your perimeter for any more movement. “Don’t worry! No one followed.” He smiles brightly

“Go home, Seth.” Your brother rolled his eyes. “No! I can’t, I won’t stand behind him! I like Bella and Edward!”

“Oh yes, you will! I’m not kidding, get outta here.” Jacob talks back, arms coming across his chest. Seth's mouth forms into a pout, a sigh coming from his nose. “Or what? Is that an order? You gonna make me bow down to?” Jake rolled his eyes once again, an attitude deep in his roots. You keep having to remind yourself that he is just a kid himself, barely 17.

“I’m not ordering anyone. It’s not like I can… ___ is the alpha.” Seth gasps and faces me, but I keep my eyes on the White House in front of me. “Don’t put me in this.”

“Can I stay? Please??” You closed your eyes with a groan.

Seth was just a kid, not knowing the sacrifices he was going to make during this.

“Seth- are you willing to fight your friends-your sister if it comes down to it? Huh?” You weren't going to say no to him, but he needs to know what the hell is real and what’s not.

But he was ready, a determined look on his face as he gives you a nod. “If that’s what it takes to do the right thing.” You give Jacob a look, and he shrugs. “Fine… you’re in.”

“Woo! Hell yeah!”

“Language.”

“Yup! Can do.”

“Jake, go give the Cullens a heads up. I’m going to run the perimeter.” This was just an excuse for you to not see Edward. You haven’t seen him since the wedding and honestly, you’ll force yourself to keep it that way.

“Right-wait! Take him.” Your younger brother points to the young boy. Grinning you shake your head. “Whatever. Come one kid.”

Tag list:

@smenny

@lady-ragnvindr

@itsmytimetoodream

@kyrah-williams

@iv3t

@esposadomd

@delvira-only-baby

@dietothemusic

@lola-bunny765

@hw-shorty

@kissforvoid

@caramelcandy

@fwegu

@twililty

Part 5 <<<<<<<

Part 7>>>>>>>

#black!reader #dom!reader #black reader #dom reader #edward cullen x reader #twilight angst #embry call x reader #twilight renaissance #twilight x reader fanfiction #imprinting #twilight werewolves #mist see; pain #vampire #reader x vampire #jasper whitelock x reader #carlisle cullen x reader #the twilight saga #twilight

105 notes · View notes

dylansslutt · 2 years

Text

blossom/ h.s

i dont own the gif!!!

i do however own my writings and all content i create, because my mind never turns off so these our my thoughts. i am not one to condone underage minor sexual stuff predo whatever, however there is a age gap.

people are of age obvi

warnings: mentions of; drugs, alc, smut

summary: you were niall’s younger sister, starting off fresh into the acting agency. being around the boy’s lead to the crush of one of them, what happens a few years later when you two gain some sort of “friendship.”

growing up under the influence of your highly famous older brother, who was more glorified than you thought was necessary. it led to some really cool stuff as well, getting out of your small town, traveling to places never thought imaginable.

now you were 21, finally settling in a nice flat in california. niall got the voice, yours could hold a tune but nothing special, of sorts. yet, acting was something you loved and dreamed of since childhood.

you tried very hard to make sure you made your own way, not using your brother to boost anything. yet, he did help get you out into this type of world.

sitting on your bed, your laptop in front of you with the new script you received from your agent. harry’s new album softly playing in the back, smiling softly to yourself.

harry was always someone you were close with, invited to his family gatherings on occasion, texting or calls when can. even though he was 5 years older than you, your mind couldn’t help but fantasize about him... like every other girl.

you kept it strict though, always allowing him to just be the “other older brother.” your phone distracts you from your thoughts, seeing the one person you just had on mind.

“y/n/n!” harry beams through the phone, you prop your phone up giggling. “hairball, ‘ello!”

he frowns at his current nickname, but quickly pulls the phone closer. “is that my album?” you nod sheepishly, forgetting about the record playing in the background.

“it’s really good, harry! i’m so proud of ya’.” the compliment was sincere, you both being a great support system. you adjust your cropped hoodie as he smiles brightly, muttering a small thank you.

“i was told you would be attending the met gala this year.” you couldn’t help but let out the squeal of excitement. instantly grabbing your phone, pulling it closer. “never once, would i think i’d be invited. my manager said that a high fashion designer even wants to dress me on that event!”

he laughs at your excitement, “i told ya’ darlin’, good things would come. ya’ been workin’ ya’ ass off.” setting the phone back down, you stare back at his reflection.

“wait, who told ya’?” he rolls his eyes, “make me give my secrets, huh?”

“i got the list secretly, i like to know whom i’m to be seated with; and your name was there but not as niall’s guest.”

you laugh at that, “yes, i get to bring me own guest.” your dog jumps up on the bed, coming right onto your lap. “oh well sansa wants to say, ‘ello.”

she was all in the way of the camera, you shooing her to lay down beside you. “well, do you have a date?” his question was simple, but your eyes widen a bit. you haven’t thought much, maybe bring your friend or whatever. mom wasn’t one for all the camera’s.

“not quite, do you?” licking your lips, you pull the phone closer. harry was on the couch, lazy stubble and a white tee on. “nope, gemma couldn’t.” you frown at that, you and his sister were besties for sure.

“aw i’d rather her than you.” the joke was sarcastic but he faked a sarcastic laugh, “ooo fiesty today.”

“always am, did ya’ expect less?” the tease was building a tension you didn’t quite know why, but you squeeze your legs tight as his dimples show.

“no, never with ya’.” he clears his throat, looking a bit more serious. “would ya’ wanna go with me? not like that of course, tabloids and stuff...”

before he could continue a ramble to come, you quickly agree. “of course, it be nice, ya’ know. instead of being alone or with someone i don’t really want.”

both of you staring at your screens, happy with the agreement. “well, i got to get these lines down... but text me your clothing style so we can arrange something of sorts to match.”

he scoffs, “ya’ and this always matching.” you roll your eyes, “hush, because ya’ know ya’ll end up doin’ it.” you pet sansa’s head which rested calmly on your lap.

“whateva’, talk to ya’ soon, darlin’.” you smile softly at the nickname.

“bye harold.” and with that you hung up, not even bothering with the lines. more so freaking out at the fact that your date to the event is now your brothers ex band mate...

“what the hell just happened?” you glance at sansa, who just wags her tail.

a few weeks have passed, you and harry’s text becoming a daily thing. yet the energy was different, he was more open, more flirty?

you couldn’t tell if he was actually flirting, but it was more nicknames, phone calls goodnight, goodmorning text, planning. everything making you long for the older boy even more.

the met gala was in just a few days, harry was back in la, as well as you just got finished shooting a modeling gig. the time was around 6 in the evening, when you arrived home. sansa was at your best friend’s, dog sitting the baby since you have a busy few days.

setting the few bottles of alcohol you stopped and grabbed, onto the counter along with your bag and coat. “alexa, play my chill playlist.” you call out to the scary robot, instantly the tunes of bob marley fill the room.

walking into your bedroom, ridding yourself of the clothes and into more comfortable lounge wear. a phone call interrupted the music. shuffling back towards the kitchen, snooping through to find your phone.

quickly answering, you set it down on speaker. “hi!” you call out not looking at you even phoned you. “well ‘ello.” harry’s voice calls out making you stop your motion.

“well ‘ello, harold. what do i owe the pleasure of your calling?” you walk closer, picking the phone up. “im actually outside your door.”

almost dropping your phone, you shake your head. “wh-no fuckin’-are ya-” the knock comes from your door aswell from the phone. hanging up and setting your phone down, you rush to unlock the door.

the six foot something man stood infront of your smaller frame, eyes widen in surprise. “what the hell!” jumping up and wrapping your arms around his neck. his hands scoop around your thighs.

a feeling rushes through you as he walks in, spinning you around softly. his grip tightens before setting you down back on your feet. “i didn’t know you were on this side of town?”

he laughs softly, “i wasn’t but i wanted to see my favorite girl, before being in front of hundreds of people.” you smile at that turning towards the bought alcohol.

“well, ya’ arrived on time. i just bought some drinks.” glancing back you notice his eyes on you, and where they were placed. right on your ass, since you didn’t realize you were gonna have company the shorts were your cute short short ones.

“like old times, we can catch up and drink.” you shake your head, “not like last time though, i ended up sick as a dog!” he chuckles at the memory, heading into your apartment more.

“i like it, it fits you.” he observes as you pour you both a glass of wine first. walking closer to him, you hand him the drinks. “thank ya’, the remotes are there. i’ll grab the blankets.”

he gets situated on the couch, turning the tv on instantly going onto netflix. you open the cabinet under the tv, bending over slightly to pull out the biggest blanket for you two to share. his eyes bore onto you as you struggle with the material.

standing up, glancing at his selection and seeing he chose a scary movie. “ooo finally.” you throw the blanket on him before settling beside him. “i remembered it was my turn last time.” he mumbles as he hands over your cup.

you hum at that, taking a sip of the wine. “i thought ya’ would forget, bein’ busy and all.” shuffling the pillow a little, allowing yourself to rest against harry. legs now drape across his. “

“never.” he pulls you closer.

“i’ve missed ya’.” you mumble out before glancing up at him, his eyes already on yours.

“i know... it feels so different from not seeing ya’ all the time.” you nod in agreement before taking a few more sips.

“life has definitely been different for sure...” not even wanting to get into everything. “i never said anything about it, but you were too good for him.” he mentions your ex, timothy chamalet, which ended way over 5 months ago.

you roll your eyes, “it’s fine, trust me harry. i realize right now, im probably gonna be single for awhile, but thats okay.” the movie starts and you focus your attention back on the tv.

harry leaves it be and downs his wine, as you finish yours. “lift up, i’ll grab us another one.” you obey moving your legs and handing over your empty glass. your fingertips graze each other, eyes locking together until you clear your throat.

“thank you.”

“of course.”

settling down beside you the movie started getting more interested, but you couldn’t get the distraction of his warmth beside you, out your head. and of course now there was a relationship scene.

clearing your throat softly, taking another sip and lift up. harry’s eyes catch yours confused, “i haven’t ate much today, wanna share a pizza?”

“yea, sounds great.” leaving his embrace, you turn the oven on allowing it to pre-heat. finishing your wine, you turn and notice the first bottle was empty. a warm feeling rose through your cheeks from the alcohol, opening the second bottle.

not noticing harry was now behind you, you jump at the cup set down beside you. “oh gosh.” you giggle hand close to your chest, his deep chuckle matching yours.

grabbing the bottle you pour you both another glass, “ya’ might as well stay the night. its getting later and i don’t want ya’ to drive super late.” he grabs his cup as you turn leaning back against the counter.

him infront of you, “i already figured i would.” smiling at his response still settled between him, his eyes staring down at you. you could’ve sworn he flickered his gaze towards your lips, but you shake the thought. he takes a gulp of the wine before setting it back down.

“my dress will be in tomorrow, i have a fitting in it later. which reminds me i need to text her” you update him on the outfit, rambling on was something he was use too. him only humming in response, staring at you as you take another sip of your wine.

“you’ll look beautiful, either way.”

his hand reaches upwards, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. eyes connecting with each other. “well thank ya’.” not exactly knowing what to do, since his hand never drops from your face.

in a stand still, he suddenly moves closer. lips inches from each other, his thumb caressing your cheek. sliding down to toy with your bottom lip.

“y/n...” he says my name as almost a warning, his voice holding a edge i’ve never heard. the ding of the oven, pulls us away from the most intimate moment between you two.

“i gotta put the pizza in.” the words were soft, maneuvering from underneath him. you pull the pizza out the box, uncovering the wrapper. feeling eyes on the back of your head, made you fumble nervously with the plastic.

shoving it quickly in the oven, and turning the timer on. you now face the man that was running through your head. his expression undetectable, only tyhe wander of his eyes.

“harry, i-” you try to come up with something to say, to ease the anxiousness inside you. “i have a question.”

the statement threw you off guard, furrowing your eyebrows as he continues. “have you ever thought about us?”

the swore your eyes almost fell out your head, already feeling the warmth on your cheeks. moving forward, grasping the cup, swallowing half the glass before giving a response.

“what do ya’ mean us?” nice, smooth play. you were staring at the man in front of you, trying so hard not to be desperate and just jump his bones. he rolls his eyes, “don’t play dumb now.”

grabbing the bottle, glass still in hand, you make way back over to the couch. “no idea what ya’ talkin’ about.”

the words were spoken over your shoulder, deciding if he was going to ask such questions... he shall make the first move. you lean over more than needed, guiding your shorts up some as the bottle sets on the coffee table.

standing up and glancing over at him, he was fidgeting. “fuck it.” the words left his lips and he advances forward; not expecting his hands around your face.

both your lips smash together, you gasping in shock allows his tongue to enter your mouth. one hand slides down to your throat, holding it lightly in a teasing manner.

your hands run up his chest landing onto his shoulders, his hands leave your face grasping underneath your thighs. laying you down carefully onto the couch, he pulls away.

eyes wild, matching each others energy, you decide to take your shirt off. leaving your pierced nipples exposed. his gaze darkens at the sight of them, licking his lips lustfully.

throwing his shirt off, he leans down cupping your left tit in his hand. before latching onto your right nipple, flicking and sucking on it. your hands fly into his hair, a soft gasp escapes your lips.

his free hand moves your legs open, allowing himself properly inbetween you. moving it back to hold himself up, he switches nipples making you moan softly. he pulls away slowly, eyes boring into yours.

“i wanna taste ya’, darlin’.” he mutters against your skin, slowly making way back up to your lips. his other hand now cupping your cunt, leaving you to clench your legs around his waist.

he pulls his hand away, thrusting his bulge against your heat. eyes watching every reaction. “so pretty.” he captures your lips again, hands going around your waist lifting you slightly.

a giggle escapes you as he pulls your panties down, leaving harry to stare a little confused. “what?”

“yes, i’ve thought about us.” you finally confess, leaving him to spank you softly. the feeling felt like something you never felt before, you moving up a little. “harry.”

he hums as his eyes bore into your core, as if it was the first time he’s ever seen a girl naked. “i need ya’ to touch me.” the whining sound that left your lips, gave harry no second thought.

he pulls you close to his face, him laying flatter on the couch. tongue pressed flat against your clit, sucking and swirling softly. the moans litter the room, your hands back in his hair tugging softly.

“fu-fuck.”

he grips your waist, squeezing tightly as he moves up his pace. his left arm flattens against your stomach, holding you in place as a finger enters you. your free hand goes against your lips, hips bulking up against his grip.

“oh fuck, harry.” you moan at the feeling of his second finger slide into you. his lips leave your folds, “ya’ taste so fucking good.”

you could’ve came right there, but it was quicker than expected when his tongue was relentless against you. his fingers hitting a spot that was perfect, your legs began to shake.

“ha-harry im-” the loudest, most pornographic moan that you never thought you could make escapes your lips.

harry’s grip on your thighs tighten even more as you feel your wetness drip down onto the couch. hand flying to your mouth, then clenching the bundle of the blankets beside you.

breathless and in bliss, you let out a breathe as harry licks you up after you calm down some. wiping your face, he kisses your thighs. alternating between the two. moving upwards leaving trail of kisses before stopping right in front of you.

his hair was a mess and he looks so good, above you glowing in a small gleam. he smiles down at you, giggling up at him he kisses your forehead. “what?”

you shook your head, only allowing yourself to stay in this moment for a second. “so much for a long time no see.” his dimples pop as he laughs, sitting upwards more slightly.

“hey, watchin’ ya’ cum on my face. that’s a good long time no see present.” the words made your face heat up, moving to grab your shirt throwing it on. harry eyes follow you making you push him softly.

“why are you starin’ mister.” you lean over him slightly grabbing your shorts and underwear. he just smirks shaking his head, you roll your eyes in a joking manner.

“imma’ go to the loo.” he nods as you walk off towards your bathroom, knowing you needed to pee after being eaten out. also it gives you a second to digest how the fuck this all seem to go down.

your shorts were balled up in your hands as you walk bare, turning back to catch his eyes focused on your behind. turning you flick the switch, your reflection showing how dishevel you look.

you grab your hair brush, calming the frizzy mess; as well as applying some lip balm to your swollen lips. glancing at your reflection, you internally scream.

you’ll be in public view soon with a man who has just made you cum, from his mouth. now he is acting all weird as well, like he might like me.

there’s no way that’s not possible. shutting the light off along with the thought that you knew was not true. making way back into the living area, harry has the movie back on at the part we last actually can recall.

the pizza dings, making me beam. i turn to get the pizza but harry calls me out, “stop, sit down and relax. i’ll grab it out.”

your eyes widen at the sudden nice gesture, neverless you thank him and get comfortable again on the couch. leaning forward grabbing the cup, the touch of the cup on your lips made you shiver.

your eyes glance over at harry and you knew it, your crush was becoming more. it didn’t matter if you got hurt, you wanted him in a way you thought never possible.

he holds two plates as he makes way back over, “here ya’ are my lady.” the plate held a few delicious slices. “thank ya, my lord.”

a small smile breaks way on both your faces, as you throw your legs over his getting comfortable. the plate rested on your lap as you press play on the remote.

halfway through eating your pizza, a clicking sound from a phone comes from my side. my head jerking towards harry who just busts out laughing at the photo.

“harry.” you whine, snatching the phone to look. “you can not show anyone that, i look horrible!” it wasn’t horrible but not the best.

“okay okay, but im not deleting it. you’re too cute.” the comment made you take another bite, trying to cover up the remark you would’ve made.

after finishing the pizza and wine, the movie was finished leaving the two of you yawning. you stood in the kitchen making yourself a water bottle, turning to sleepy harry.

“ill make ya’ some water and bring you a aspirin just in case, if ya’ wanna go lay down.” you knew the poor boy was exhausted. he throws you a tired smile before shuffling to your room, as you grab an extra bottle for him to use.

taking your aspirin right away, you put an extra one in your hand. flicking the kitchen light off, you head into your bedroom seeing harry laying there half sleep.

“here take this.” you climb into bed, placing the pill in his hand as you give him his water. setting your water on your end table, you plug your phone up and look back over seeing harry’s eyes on you.

“cuddle me.” he pulls you down, a gasp escapes you along with a small giggle. his arm was underneath your head along with his other around your waist. you felt snug and tight, you press yourself more into him.

“night h’.” you mutter softly, he kisses the top of your head gently. “night darlin’.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles drabble #harry styles fluff

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damnfandomproblems · 6 months

Note

735268800396656640 I'd like to add my 2c to this, because I have seen it a lot, and I have some theories.

The rate of people faking (and really believing they have) DID seems to have totally skyrocketed during the pandemic, and mainly among people under 18. Though I've seen it in people as old as 40! And I think there were a combination of factors at play. The first was the ease at which Tiktok videos can be consumed and even come off as suggestible to people. I've seen videos of kids sitting in front of a television reiterating very specific "tics" (better called tic-like behaviours) because they found a famous person with Tourette's and their brains started mirroring it.

The second was the lack of support systems for kids during COVID, which left them to their own devices online, often in spaces designed to garner views without any accountability or control over scientific accuracy. The lack of support systems also meant that during COVID, a lot of kids were trapped at home in abusive environments, and were, actually, being traumatized. They were experiencing real effects of trauma, like dissociation, maladaptive daydreaming, even viciously trying to imagine themselves as certain characters in the hopes if they tried hard enough, it would change reality and they would actually become that character (talking from experience here. I had a rough few years as a kid!). But because of Tiktok, they ran into people who were suggesting if they dissociated in any form, they could have DID. Then they watched another video like this, and another video. After enough times, it just becomes normal, and you start to accept it. There's a similar process to how cults work, they purposefully inundate people with BS over and over until the person just accepts it one day, except in this case it's not so intentional, just a sick accident. When this combines with the real trauma-induced escapism needs, you get kids of 15-16 thinking they have DID, when really it's more like complex PTSD or depersonalization/derealization disorder.

But on top of this, during COVID, a lot of kids didn't have the crucial opportunity to socialize with other people. They don't know about code switching. They don't know how people act, for instance, in a customer service job versus school around their friends, versus at home. Maybe they remember from previous years, but it becomes harder and harder to see it as a tangible reality after a long enough time. So they think the different moods, bubbliness, etc depending on their company isn't just normal behaviour, but actually some kind of pathology. This seems to be "corroborated" by all the videos they see online, all the people they see in servers.

Hence, we now have a young generation of people growing up believing they have an incredibly rare disorder, while simultaneously saying insanity like "I have 2,000 personality states", and somehow getting new personality states every week as a new show comes out, when DID mainly happens if someone experiences severe, EXTREME (unthinkable) ongoing trauma when they are very, very young. Not when someone is 15 or 16. You have lists of hundreds, if not thousands, of labels, and even a wiki made by people like this. And it's all over the place in fandom because, well, fandom is an escape for people. Characters are comforting. It gets very close to the heart of whatever trauma these people have gone through. Of course it's impossible to point this out, because some of those made-up labels include pejoratives that try to equate "being aware that someone is not actually suffering from DID" to being bigoted. It's anti-intellectual and effectively, again like how a cult works, cuts off the people in the group from any unbiased feedback, and it keeps them from healing.

I'm genuinely worried.

This is a response to this previous ask.

#response to previous ask

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bodypaintsculptures · 8 months

Text

High Priestess | Chapter 1: Why Now?

A/N: Hey lovelies!!! Welcome to the new edited version of High Priestess!! I have decided to post the full chapters on here as well as on Wattpad! I have made a few adjustments to all chapters. I have also renamed a lot of the chapters as well as adding some new chapters in! The plot has changed slightly but the overall story has remained the same! A big thank you to @alovesreading for being such a big help with the storyline! You are a gem! Please lemme know what you think and if you would like to be tagged!! H x

Synopsis: A down on their luck Welsh band, High Priestess, finally get the big break they were looking for - a supporting spot for one of the UK's biggest successes; the Arctic Monkeys. Was this finally the opportunity they needed to kick start their dream careers of being a successful rock band? Or will a tumultuous relationship between the two lead singers and a secret confession of devotion ultimately be too much to handle for the three best friends from Cardiff?

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: swearing, drug usage, mentions of death, mental health issues and sexual content throughout this fic.

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"Letting the days go by, letting the water hold me down..."

The speaker sang, quietly as to not to disturb the customers in the bookstore, well all two of them.

"Letting the days go by, water flowing underground..."

Niko sighed exhaustedly, her tired frame leaning against the glass countertop, watching as the customers came and went without so much as buying a thing.

She was bored.

She always was when it was her turn to close, or even open, or just be here, she thought with a melancholy hum.

That's when she saw someone or rather, her, caught the woman's attention. Sat nose deep in a tattered old book, the cover faded and the title unreadable to the distant blonde sat at her cash register. She was always in here, reading whatever she could put her hands on, alone. But she was always smiling.

Linda.

With a heavy roll of her eyes and lethargic push, Niko got to her feet, wandering over to the gray haired woman that had taken a seat in the reading area. Her presence was enough to make the woman glance up from the book she looked very interested in. There was a moment of silence between the two before Niko spoke up, her tone flat and fed up.

"Look Linda, y'know what I'm gonna say..." Niko drew out, scratching the back of her neck. It was the same thing she always said to her; "You can't sit 'ere and read the whole book and then put it back, you have to at least buy it first." Her tone remained flat as it always did when she told the woman, sick of spitting out the same words.

Linda gave the blonde a small happy smile, the crows feet surrounding her eyes wrinkling in her old age. "My apologies Niko." She sat up, fetching her purse from the bag that leant against the leg of the sofa she had occupied for quite some time. "How much?"

Niko blew out a breath, and shrugged her shoulders. Usually she would scan the barcode of the book to see what the system would say but this book was so beaten up and falling apart at the seams, that there was no barcode, or even really a front cover. Niko shook her head, she couldn't really charge an extortionate price for something that looked like that.

"A pound." The blonde eventually said, piquing the old woman's interest but she didn't question the young lady's decision and fished out some money from her purse.

"Have a fiver, my dear." Linda responded, giving the blonde a folded up five pound note.

Frowning, Niko took the five pound note from the old lady without so much as a complaint, god knows the store needs it, letting out a small 'thank you' ash she did. She pocketed the note in her checkerboard trousers, reminding herself to deposit it into the cash register when she returned to her post in just a few seconds. However, before she could get there, Linda was trying to strike up a conversation with the uninterested blonde.

"How's life been treating you, my dear?" Linda asked with a smile, the book she'd been nose deep in, now folded close on the coffee table in front of her.

Niko stuttered for a second, muttering something about getting back to the desk but Linda quickly chuckled that away. "There's only one other person in here apart from me dear, I think you've got a bit of time, no?"

With a tentative glance around the store to the only other person in it, a middle aged man lost inside a war book, Niko sighed and decided to take Linda up on her offer of a light conversation. It would make my shift go quicker anyway.

The blonde took a seat opposite the gray haired woman and with another heavy sigh, answered the question that had been poised to her, with little enthusiasm. "Same shit, different day." Niko almost chuckled at the irony that was her life but before doing so, realised what she had said, and quickly apologised for her cursing; "Sorry."

Seeing the young woman flush in front of her, Linda let out a quiet chuckle. "It's no problem my dear."

She had always referred Niko as a dear even though every time they would speak, it was the blonde telling her to either buy the book she was reading or leave. Not usually a very amicable conversation that would warrant such a phrase to be used.

Though, Linda was a sweet woman. she always had a smile on her face, she always wanted to strike up a conversation, even with Niko's soured personality. But from those conversations, forced or not, Niko had learnt about Linda's life and how she would come by the bookstore to read and enjoy the company of others since her husband had died a few years ago and her children lived abroad. Niko had felt sorry for her, that this was her only solace to feel a sense of togetherness in this world and would usually be happy to converse with her when she first started coming by. But these days, these days, the blondes mood had soured and her patience wore thin, making it difficult for her to hold a conversation with customers in a job she had come to loathe.

"How's the band going?" Linda questioned, snapping Niko back from her thoughts and filling the silent emptiness of the bookstore.

Niko hummed, the band.

"Good." She quipped a small sweet lie. Niko didn't want to burden the gray haired woman with the depressing truth, not when she didn't really want to admit it to herself, so she continued; "Had a few auditions to support a few bands, sent some demo's to some labels..." The blonde exaggerated, slightly, as she drifted off into thought.

The truth was, it wasn't good at all. They hadn't got one call back from audiences nor had they really sent that many demo's out to places.

And if Niko was being really honest, she had contemplated quitting the band on more than a few occasions over the last couple of months. after years of trying, they weren't getting anywhere. All they seemed to do was play small gigs in pubs and small venues across South Wales and at this point there were just kind of existing. For her, there seemed to be no breakthrough in sight and she was just about ready to give up that part of her life. Of course, Niko had tried her best over the years to keep the band together, for the sake of her sanity, but it was getting to the point where even that was starting to waver. Although the band had become the only solace away from the mundane reality she had come to know as her life, there was no longer any motivation or inspiration for her, now it was more like a nightmare.

"And?" Linda pressed, seeing the vacant expression on the blondes face.

Niko shrugged, slouching back in the chair. "Tha's it... just kinda waiting." She lent Linda a small smile, hoping that would satisfy the older woman.

But Linda could see the dull emptiness in Niko's eyes. It was the eyes of someone who was ready to give up.

Leaning across the gap between them, Linda grabbed Niko's hand, and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, I'm sure someone will pick you up dear, I think you and your friends have a good thing going there." She reassured.

Though Niko was finding it hard to agree with the optimistic woman, she gave her another forced smile of appreciation nonetheless, pretending as if her words actually mattered in the grand scheme of things. Which, regrettably, they did not.

"I'm no music connoisseur, but I know something sounds good when I hear it and you, my dear, have a beautiful voice." The gray haired complimented determinedly.

She had heard Niko singing along with the music in the store on a few occasions and had found appreciating it's beautiful harmonies, so much so that it had stopped her from reading her books.

The compliment made Niko's cheeks flush and her forced smile turned more genuine on her cherry painted lips. "Thank you, Linda."

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

After that quick interaction with the bookstore's regular customer, nothing much else happened for the rest of Niko's shift. Just the boring rigmarole of watching customers come and go without so much as buying anything, all the while Linda sat, reading the book she'd bought for more than it was worth.

When it came to closing time, Linda was the last one to leave the store, as she always was when she came to visit. Niko let the gray haired woman out with a forced smile and a quick 'see you again' on her lips, like they always did. But this time, before the blonde could close the door and lock it up, Linda stopped her short, grabbing her outstretched arm.

"You should believe in yourself a bit more, my dear." Linda whispered encouragingly before giving the blonde a small wave.

Niko just nodded, watching the old woman, with the permanent smile on her face, make her way down the dimly lit street with a sigh. Believe in myself, Niko found herself thinking, what was there to believe in anymore?

From then, Niko did what she always did when closing the store; cleaned up any books people had discarded after reading them and not paying; cashed up the minuscule amount of money they'd taken for the day; turned the lights off and finally locked the store up, always with the same though crossing her mind; I hope it burns down.

Now, Niko wasn't an arsonist per say, but just the thought of one day turning up for work and seeing the place burnt to a crisp brought a sense of ease to her. As if its singed state would finally release her from the boring monotony of her every day, nine to five, life she had fallen victim to.

But, unfortunately for her, that day never seemed to come. No one seemed to want to burn a bookstore down and so, depressively enough, the cycle of Niko's life continued to roll on, unchanged and uneventful.

It wasn't as if Niko hated the bookstore or the thousands of books that it held. Truth was, Niko used to love reading. Well, used to.

She used to love being sucked in by the characters and their adventures, used to love being transported to a world where she could tag along for the ride and experience the emotions of the characters would endure on their conquests for love or revenge. She used to love drawing inspiration from the pages of a book or the lines of a poem, able to dream up her own stories in the form of lyrics. But now, well, that inspiration ceased to exist. Those words she would once worship as if their own religion, were now just meaningless. They did not provoke a sense of wonder or a flicker of light inside the stone could heart she had grown over the years.

It had all become a nothingness to her. Just like her life.

Checking that the door was secure, Niko walked away from the bookstore, hoping that it would finally be the last time she was there, but it never was. She hoped nonetheless, a hoping that was slowly fading.

The blonde walked down the same dimly lit street that she had watched Linda walk down not half an hour before, but instead of walking straight ahead like her counterpart had, she took a swift left, heading down a familiar side street with only one thing on her mind. I need a strong drink.

She arrived at her preferred destination not two minutes later, staring up at the low lit sign that read 'The Queen Vaults'. It was like every other olde-worlde pub in Cardiff; dark exterior and stained glass windows, but this place evoked something inside Niko that made it seem different. It was her place, their place. And the memories that evoked inside her, brought a well-needed genuine smile to her face. It was a place she did not have to think twice about entering, giving the bouncer, Dave a customary "hello" as she did, as the familiar smell hit her senses and made her heart sing.

Stale beer and piss.

It probably sounded horrible to anyone else and would probably put them off ever stepping inside, but to her and her friends, it was the smell of home, the smell of memories; the smell of a good time.

Wasting no time at all, the blonde made her way to the bar, her small stature pushing past a group of rowdy lads who had decided to call it home for the night before she reached her destination with a heavy sigh.

"Packed in 'ere tonight." She quipped annoyedly and leaned against the sticky bar, lined with dried beer.

The bartender nodded with a roll of her eyes. "There's a footie game on tha's why, Wales playin' some... other European team." She drifted off not really caring, and neither did Niko. Sport really wasn't her thing. She did not understand why people raved about watching sweaty men chasing after a ball and falling over dramatically. It all seemed a bit too gay to her. "So we're a bit busier-- the usual?"

"Yeah please, CJ." Niko smiled, glad that she was able to get served quickly.

God knows I needed it.

CJ, or Cleo, was Niko's best friend and also the drummer of their ill fated band. They had known each other since they were six, they went to school together, grew up together. She had started working at their local when she was eighteen, just as Niko had gotten a job around the corner at the bookstore. Since then, after every shift, Niko would swing by for a drink and another and another, until it was usually those two laughing and drunkenly joking around at the bar until the early hours of the morning. Although, it was to the annoyance of CJ's boss, the man wasn't going to stop them as they paid their way through, even with the little money they had. Their drinking habits at the pub, also seemed to play in their favour, as her boss afforded them their first proper gig, even if it was in front of about ten people, most of which were the locals they begged to attend.

But that was nearly eight years ago, and since then, not much has changed. Unfortunately.

"One 'double' for the sexist lady 'ere." CJ smirked upon her return, a vodka lime soda in hand. "And a bit extra, free of charge of course." She winked.

Niko smirked at her friend's insistence on adding more alcohol that she was allowed to. If she was going to let her get drunk, she definitely wasn't going to complain about it.

The blonde let out a small "thank you" to her friend, grabbing two straws from the side and taking a healthy sip of it, immediately being hit by how strong her friend had actually made it. She pursed her lips as the strong liquor burned its way down her throat, almost making her cough, before she began looking around the packed pub.

"Are the two idiots 'ere?" She questioned the bartender, with a raise of her perfectly slicked eyebrow.

CJ nodded. "Usual spot." Gesturing towards the secluded booth in the corner where two people sat hidden away. Niko smiled seeing them from a distance and began walking over, CJ shouting that she would be joining them in a minute.

Before Niko had even got half way there, one of the idiots was already on their feet, shouting at her with their arms wide open. Larry.

"There she is!" He sang, engulfing his friend in a bear hug, making her chuckle.

Larry was another friend Niko had known since primary school. Herself, CJ and Larry had been inseparable since then. He was also the keyboardist and technician for their band, and although he wasn't officially part of the trio, Niko was insistent that he be the adopted fourth member which Larry was happy enough to accept. He was easy going, didn't really mind having a title or not. Besides, this was a side gig for him, away from his full time job as a tattoo artist, so the whole "being part of the band" thing never bothered him.

Niko slipped in next to her friend and was greeted by the other idiot she mentioned to CJ; Viola.

The woman with a permanent smile on her face. A smile that was sometimes a nice sight and sometimes the death of her. Niko was convinced that Larry had tattooed the joker-like grin on her because there was no way for someone to be happy all the time, but then she would remembered that Viola wasn't good with needles and had fainted every time Larry or any other tattoo artists had attempted to tattoo her, so that was was just how she was, naturally.

"How was work?" Viola questioned, her perfectly manicured nails playing with the ends of her long, blonde hair.

Viola stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of them. She wore more than monochrome colours they did and her skin was always perfectly tanned, not to mention her flawless hair and make up. But that's what you get for being beauty technician by day and a heavy metal lover by night.

Though was the other didn't have in Viola's flawlessness, they made up for it in tattoos. All three of them were covered. Larry from his leg, to his arms, his torso and neck, CJ -- who had now slotted herself in next to Viola -- had a sleeved arm and tattoos covering her thighs, while Niko herself was covered in them from her arms to her legs and the majority of her back.

They looked like a group of pot smoking goths who had kidnapped one of the prettiest and more popular girls at school and were holding her captive.

"Bollocks as always." Niko tutted in a fed up tone, slumping against the ripped leather seats of the booth.

She was fed up with everything at this point; her boring life, her boring job, her boring everything. But she wasn't about to start ranting, not again at least. She had done enough of that over the years and although it depressed her, she wasn't about to depress her friends.

Though it always had Niko pondering that surely there was more to life than this.

That more was yet to be found.

"Aww well, at least you're getting paid." Viola smiled at Niko trying to be positive about her friend's situation, ever the optimist.

Although her upbringing had allowed her to be, especially when her dad was famous, well famous in Wales at least. Which, if you play international rugby for Wales, you were considered just that. Now, Niko wasn't that into rugby either but Viola's dad was the sweetest man she had ever met, he had helped his daughters band out a lot over the years, even converting his one of his spare bedrooms into a recording studio for them.

Anything for his little princess, Niko chuckled to herself, envious of the relationship she had with her father. But that didn't take away from the fact that Viola had had it easier than the rest of the group. She'd been born with a silver spoon in her mouth and not had to endure the same sort of upbringings as Niko, CJ and Larry had.

But she was still a humble girl with aspirations as big as the rest of them and she was a great friend to have.

"And we gotta gig on Friday, so we can get some money from that too!" Viola smiled happily. For someone who looked like a Barbie doll from the 1970's, she didn't half love rocking out on stage.

Fat chance of that, Niko thought as she held her tongue. These days it cost more in fuel money and set up than what they actually got paid, and usually Niko would give them the money before she'd give herself a cut, which would leave her with only enough for one lousy microwaveable meal.

But Niko wasn't going to dampen the mood with that information. Instead the blonde just hummed in response, picking apart the beer mat her drink sat on as the thought of leaving the band became more attractive as time went on.

CJ whooped in her usually chirpy mood at that fact. She wasn't as positive as Viola, but she was more positive than Niko, who was a pessimist at the best of times.

"And check this out... I 'ave some news." CJ wiggled her painted on eyebrows, diving her hand into her apron to retrieve her phone.

As CJ sat doing whatever on her phone, Niko glanced around the table uninterested. However, that uninterest was quickly curbed when she saw a pair of silly smiles on the faces of Larry and Viola, making her eye them suspiciously.

Something was going on. They never usually smiled like that, even on a good day, so it confused the blonde on why they both looked so demented. She was just about to voice her curiosities at their psychotic looks, when CJ shoved her phone in her hand with the same unnerving smile gracing her lips, and began to speak up;

"I had an email today 'bout one of the demos we sent to tha label, uh fuckin' Domino?" Niko nodded remembering. "And they said tha they loved our demo and wanted to send a representative out to watch us 'n potentially being a supporting act for, get this--" The bartender paused, the silly smile still on her lips, and eyes wide with excitement as she blurted out. "The Arctic Monkeys."

Niko's head snapped up at that name. Her heart skipped a beat. Wait... what?

As quickly as her head had snapped up at the mention of the Arctic fucking Monkeys, it had snapped back down again, reading over what CJ had confirmed. It took Niko a few moments as she read it once, twice, three times over, unable to suffice if this was some kind of sick joke or stupid prank they were playing on her. She checked it again, eyebrows firmly knitted together, trying her hardest to debunk its legitimacy but she couldn't. It was true, staring her right in the face in black and white; she wasn't lying.

That was when all the air in Niko's body left, leaving her dumbfounded. She was almost numbed by the truthful information that stared back at her, greeting her with a smile. But the blonde just couldn't seem to be able to accept it, she couldn't seem to understand it. This couldn't be real, she thought in disbelief, not us.

But it was.

Overloaded with it all, Niko's eyes began to pool with tears, blurring her vision. She once again ran her eyes over the email, trying her hardest not to believe that any of this was true.

Why now? Was all she could think.

Why now? After so many years of trying, of trying so desperately to get the recognition they wanted or maybe even deserved. Why now? After all the long nights travelling around the small bars and venues of South Wales. Why now? After she had finally been ready to give this empty dream up, after she finally decided that enough was enough, she was going to quit the band.

Why now?

Niko was speechless, motionless as she finally glanced up from her friend's phone to the rest of them, sat around the table, eagerly awaiting her response. She could tell that they already knew, CJ seemingly had been too excited not to say anything the second they had walked into the bar that evening and with Niko working until late they had agreed to tell her together when she arrived.

Niko didn't know if to burst out crying or laugh.

She was stuck, confused, overwhelmed, and just as the tears threatened to spill for the woman's usually hardy exterior, she choked out a response. "Ar--are you sure?" As if couldn't believe it and part of her didn't want to believe it.

The blonde didn't know why but she was scared. Scared of what, she wasn't sure. Change? Acceptance? Everything?

"Yes I'm sure." CJ chuckled at her friends hesitance. The drummer was beaming, more than she had in a long time, though that beaming was cut short and the grin on her face fell off when she saw Niko's attention back on her phone, scrolling through it again as if she was trying to debunk it somehow. "It's legit, stop trying to check Nik." She warned, taking her phone back and shoving it in her aprons pocket.

CJ wasted no time in leaning back over the table and grabbing a hold of her best friends trembling hands in her own. She gave them a light squeeze in reassurance as she began to speak. "This could finally be the break we've waited so long for, we could finally make it -- you, me and Viola." She nodded to their friend who sat in the corner, beaming like a Cheshire Cat and one of Larry's arms draped across her shoulder, himself expressing the biggest grin on his face.

Everyone else was smiling, Niko noted, so why wasn't I?

Why couldn't she smile like they were? Why couldn't she believe what they were telling her? Why was she so stuck? She wasn't sure if she had an answer to those questions, but it seemed like CJ knew that.

"Niko, look at me." CJ demanded, seeing the shocked expression on her friends face, feeling her own tears start to well. "This is all we've ever wanted." She whispered into the crowded bar, but Niko heard her nonetheless. "We've worked so hard for this, we deserve to be happy, don't we?"

But before Niko could formulate any kind of response, a shout from across the bar brought them from their heartwarming moment. "Cleo, get back to work!"

The anger-filled shout snapped the group's head to the bar where CJ's manager stood, glaring at the bartender. CJ's eyes rolled at the man's untimely interruption, her hands reluctantly letting go of the blonde's shaking pair as she fell back into her seat with her own shout. "Shut up Tony!" She cursed loudly, before turning back to the group. "Duty calls, but I'll get us a round of shots to celebrate!" The brunette smirked happily as she stood up.

Before she left, however, CJ stopped in front of her best friend, gathering her attention with a whisper; "Smile Niko, our dreams are finally coming true." And with that she left the blonde to process everything that had just happened.

The news. The email. The chance of a lifetime thrust their way.

Their collective dream finally becoming a reality.

They were the undisputed facts, the facts that seem to ignite a small spark inside Niko. One that she had been convinced she had lost a long time ago; hope. And for the first time in forever, Niko felt a genuine smile form on her lips. Maybe this was our chance.

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