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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 8 months

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Wildest dreams, pt. 28

Summary: Paul's gone. While the search for him is ongoing, Y/N is back home, awaiting his return.

Warnings: angst, fluff, sexual innuendos, swearing, talking about death, mental health issues and suicide

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

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Tucking her legs under her, Y/N stares out the window. It’s been unusually cold lately, the skies turning darker with each passing day. The clouds are getting lower, spreading among the trees surrounding her home. Whenever autumn comes knocking, Y/N welcomes the rainy days and moody weather with both arms. She didn’t detest the cold as she once did, because Paul would always hold her a little bit closer. He’d often kiss her until they both struggled to keep their hands to each other and she had to beg for mercy before they were both late for work. It’s not like he’d kiss her any less in the summer, it’s just that he’s aware his warmth in already warm days is harder for Y/N’s body to handle. It’s why he’d give her space from time to time. Y/N hated that. That’s why she’d turn down the AC to freezing cold temperatures all the time just so she could enjoy Paul’s cuddles more.

She misses his cuddles now.

It’s been five days since Paul went out of the Cullen’s house and shifted into a wolf. When he’d lose his temper, Paul would be back by nightfall and Y/N never needed to worry. This felt different. Jacob didn’t tell her much at first, trying to sugarcoat what they’d discovered, but she wasn’t letting up. She could never let up when Paul was involved.

“You need to hear it from him, not me,” Jacob sighs.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Y/N frowns deeply. “I don’t know what’s happening, but I know I feel that his heart is shattered and I -”, she pauses as a sob threatens to escape her. “I never feel his emotions unless they’re at an extreme and his pain is suffocating me right now.”

“It’s a deeply personal thing I can’t imagine Paul would want you to talk to us about.”

Chuckling dryly, she points a finger at Jacob’s chest. “You have no idea what he or I would want. You weren’t here when we were building this relationship from the ground up! You weren’t here as we grew up and you sure as hell weren’t here when we learned each other’s hearts by heart! So don’t tell me what he would or wouldn’t want, because I know what he wants, and that is me! And if he is in this state because he believes he’s done something that will take me away from him, I need to know what the fuck it is so I can convince him it isn’t his fault and that–,“ belting over she lets a shuddered breath pass her lips. Clutching her chest, Y/N’s knees hit the ground with a loud sob echoing throughout the room. Jacob’s quick to wrap his arms around her, looking at Edward in distress.

“She’s overwhelmed”, Edward explains before glancing at Jasper, who seems devastated by the constant waves of pure anguish coming off of Y/N.

In the blink of an eye, Jasper is beside Y/N, his hand running up and down her back as she gasps for breath. All the pain and confusion coursing through her blood is nearly enough to make anyone insane. Even Jasper is barely holding it together as he takes some of her pain, replacing the tsunami of negative emotions with a sense of tranquility.

It doesn’t take long for Y/N’s breathing to return to normal, but her tears don’t dry. Jasper can manipulate her emotions, but he can’t trick her body into forgetting everything.

“Just tell me,” she pleads. “I need to know how to bring him back home.”

“He’s found out you’d possess a rare ability if you were to join our family,” Carlisle answers, and her eyes find him immediately. “One that the Volturi would never allow to exist. That means they’d kill you if you were to change.”

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she furrows her eyebrows. “Then I won’t shift and it won’t be a problem.”

“Aro will know,” Alice chimes in. “He can read every thought anyone’s ever had just by touch. He’d find out about you. Even as a human, you’d be a threat. The potential you carry is enough for him to act.”

Letting out a heavy breath, Y/N shakes her head. “How do you even know I might have this power?”

“We asked a member of our extended family to visit,” Alice replies. “We didn’t want to take risks when it came to you. A Quileute imprint.”

“And if you didn’t? If he never told you what potential I carry? If we never even mentioned the possibility of me being part of your family?”

“You’d have never gone through what Paul saw the day he imprinted on you.”

“A self-actualizing prophesy,” Y/N nods. “Is it really as bad as it seems?” Y/N asks Alice. “Paul has always seemed traumatized by it, but he’s my imprint. Is it really a horrid way to die?”

For the first time, Y/N noticed emotions in the Cullens. The Cullens' stony faces are difficult to read by humans, but Y/N can no longer ignore the emotions she notices in them. It’s on all their faces–compassion and pity most of all.

“Okay then”, Y/N forces a small smile as she uses Jacob’s shoulders to help herself stand. Jasper doesn’t hesitate, holding her up as she stumbles during her attempt.

“We need to find my fiancé,” Y/N purses her lips. “Jacob,” she sighs. “Please find him and bring him back to me.”

“I will do my best,” he promises. “But it’s not easy when we get into this headspace. It once took me an entire summer to return to my human form.”

Nodding, she swallows thickly. “Tell him I need him. Tell him I love him and I don’t care about anything other than spending the rest of my life with him. I want to get married and I want us to live every single day to the fullest.”

“I’ll gather the rest of the pack still willing to shift,” Jacob pecks her forehead. “We can cover more ground and drag him back if necessary.”

As Jacob walks toward the door, he’s stopped as her fingers coil around his pinky finger–the only part of him she could reach as he all but ran to fulfill his promise.

“Don’t let him see me breaking down. He can’t ever know.”

Ever since, Y/N waited for her soulmate to return to her. Embry, Quill, and Seth joined Jacob in their search the very first night. Sam and his eldest son waited for Leah and her husband, Owen, to come from Port Angeles before joining the very next day.

Emily would visit with her youngest every morning. Y/N’d have her dad over for lunch, but it didn’t help distract her as much. The greatest thing Sam has ever done for her was give her and Paul his blessing to clue her father in. She didn’t tell him she was marked for certain death. It would kill him to know, but he knows enough to be aware her life is in danger. She told him Paul’s off with the pack trying to hunt down a rogue cold one, protecting the tribe. Kim and Jared would come over every other night for dinner. Y/N imagines it’s because they feel guilty about Jared’s lack of involvement in the search for Paul. He’s not shifted in so long, the human part of him is much stronger than the wolf. Y/N supposes they didn’t want to halt his aging now when they finally seem to look the same age. She can’t take it to heart. Perhaps she’d hate if Paul shifted after a decade too.

Claire and her wife visited on the second day. She’s never been too close to Claire as she and Andrea live far, about a five-hour drive in one direction. They mostly see each other for holidays, but Y/N appreciated her visiting very much. Catching up with them put her mind at ease for a few hours, long enough to maintain some semblance of sanity.

Renesmee showed up with Bella for a few hours on the third day, bringing loads of chocolates Edward knew Y/N liked. Apparently, he’s joined the search earlier that day with Emmett and Rosalie.

The only ones who never left her home were Daisy and Jasper. It would likely drive Embry crazy if he knew his imprint had been sitting beside a vampire this entire time, especially when that vampire was Jasper. He’s apparently less stable with his diet compared to others in his family, but Y/N likes it when he’s close by. If it weren’t for him micromanaging her emotions whenever they threatened to kill her, Y/N would have lost herself. Alice came and went, unable to handle the smell of wolves for too long. The smell of several wolves mixed together is much worse than Jacob's scent, she said.

“He’s going to come back”, Daisy hands her a cup of warm tea. It’s nothing compared to holding Paul’s hand, but if she closes her eyes for a few minutes, she can pretend he’s there, safe with her.

Daisy sits with her, feeling her loss. Embry’s never been away this long before. She can’t imagine how hard it must be for Y/N when she can’t even be sure Paul is alright when she can feel he’s in pain. At least Embry isn’t in danger and he isn’t heartbroken to the point of being stuck in his wolf form. He’ll definitely come back home. Paul might not. She doesn’t say that openly, but she carries that worry. Meeting Y/N was scary as hell, especially with how highly Embry used to talk about her. She knows they had a mutual crush on each other when they were younger, but it never seemed to work for them. Embry told her he didn’t want to mess up his friendship with Jacob, who was evidently in love with Y/N, but he also didn’t want to risk losing Y/N as a friend. It was easier to admire her from a distance.

It’s not like Daisy is insecure about her relationship with Embry now, but before she knew what imprinting was, it did cross her mind that Y/N might be competition. She only found out about imprints when Embry spilled the beans about Paul imprinting on Y/N when she first came back to town. He wasn’t aware she was close enough to hear him and the way he mocked Paul for it, but she heard it. It wasn’t hard making the connection about their own situation. Smiling, she remembers how stupid his face looked when she called him her imprint in bed that night. He nearly choked on his own saliva before she kissed him harder than ever before. She wishes he was with her to kiss him harder than that. Jared didn’t shift and leave Kim, so why did Embry? Shaking her head, she puts those thoughts away. Y/N is a close friend, possibly her closest friend, and she’s definitely Embry’s favorite person aside from herself. This is a small sacrifice for someone they both care about.

Jasper watches the two girls from the couch. He can sense the quickly shifting emotions in Daisy every day, but none of them are malicious. It’s evident she simply misses her husband. Y/N is a hurricane compared to Daisy. She’s impossible to predict and the devastation her emotions can cause is incredibly difficult to contain. He’s never truly delved much into imprint connections, perhaps because Jacob and Renesmee had a simple relationship. Renesmee didn’t pay him much attention until she ended things with her high school boyfriend. After graduation, that’s when she decided she wanted him…selfishly so. She never quite unlatched from him. Renesmee was more or less obsessed with him, jealous of Y/N’s friendship with him, but she was never in any pain regarding Jacob. As for the wolf side of the relationship, Jacob just wanted to protect her and make her happy. He didn’t necessarily love her the way Renesmee loved him, but he wouldn’t ever break her heart, even though his own wasn’t whole. Jasper always knew Jacob loved someone else and despite the imprinting tying him to his niece, Jacob never forgot the one he wanted truly. Seeing Jacob and Y/N in the same room revealed everything to him — he wanted what he could never have. And now he’s off, making sure Y/N can have some form of a happy ending as if she won’t die soon.

Never before did Jasper care much about humans, knowing they’re around only for a brief part of his immortal life. Very few did he care to befriend and, for some reason, Y/N felt like a person he wanted to be around. She didn’t make him thirsty, it’s her heart that speaks to him. So many people walk around hiding their true feelings, but she feels everything so clearly and she refuses to pretend otherwise. It’s rare to find someone like that. He has observed her mainly depressed in the time he's known her, but he wonders about the potential of being around her when she's truly happy.? He could get drunk on candid joyfulness Y/N is capable of feeling. Perhaps he’s going to be invited to the wedding when Paul returns. She’ll certainly be cheerful on that day and he has to know the other side of this despair. He can't believe that he cannot replace this pit of aching with ecstasy and serenity.

Alice finds him unreasonable for staying with Y/N inside the house she shares with Paul, but he can’t bring himself to leave yet. Not before she’s reunited with her fiancé. Leaving now is like playing with destiny. She deserves the relief he’s cautiously giving her, making sure she can feel her emotions without allowing them to cross the borders of what she can safely handle. Y/N needs him, even if others do not agree. Until Paul walks over the threshold of this house, Jasper will not leave. Y/N doesn’t demand it either. He can feel she’s grateful for his presence, for taking the edge off the very sharp knife her emotions tend to become.

So he stays, watching over the girls as the lighting tears apart the sky.

“What would happen if I were to join your family and Aro was,” Y/N pauses as she turns to look at Jasper, who seemed rather surprised she was talking about it. “Well, if he was eliminated, would it really be such a problem for me? For your family?”

Staring at Jasper, Y/N watches as his lips spread in a thin line and then into a genuine smile. She’s definitely gone mad. “You’d want to take on the Volturi?”

“I want to take on Aro,” she corrects. “If he was alone, he’d be easier to eliminate.”

“To kill, you mean,” Jasper states.

Shaking her head, she places the empty teacup down. “I understand the chances of it are minimal, but say I accept to be one of you and I get this magical power of making vampires human… Can’t I make him human?”

“Would he, like, just become a vampire again?” Daisy asks.

Jasper rubs his chin. The more time he spends around her, Y/N swears he does these little gestures for her benefit, something to take away from the ungodly beauty he possesses, to make him seem more human.

It's impossible to turn them into vampires after they have been cured. However, the rest of them would know. The entire army would be ready to dismember us to get to you.”

“Not if he disappears,” Y/N tries. “We could hold him hostage until he dies a human death.”

“That’s dark”, Daisy notes.

“It’s nothing compared to what he’s been doing for much longer than you’ve been alive,” Jasper argues. “He deserves far worse.”

“Could it work?” Y/N asks as Jasper’s phone lights up. “Alice?” The hope in her voice is so easily detectable that it makes Jasper almost frown when he sees it’s a message from Edward.

We found Paul.

“No. Edward says they found Paul.”

“Are they coming home?” Y/N jumps, running toward Jasper. “Call him, call him!”

Smiling as her hope brings alive the butterflies in his stomach, Jasper dials his brother immediately.

“Kind of hard to talk now”, Edward grunts as a loud growl sounds.

“I’m with Y/N. You’re on speaker.”

“Where is he”, Y/N grabs Jasper’s wrist, bringing her lips closer to the phone. “Is he okay?”

“Canada”, Edward sighs as the growling grows louder.

“Is that him?!” she exclaims. “Paul Lahote, you stop that right now!”

On command, the growls turn into whimpers and she can’t help the way her chin trembles with the pained sound leaving her fiancé.

“Come home,” she says softly. “I know you believe you put me in this situation, but that’s not true.” Sniffling, she pauses as if to wonder if saying it in front of everyone is unwise. It doesn’t take long for her to decide, choosing to prioritize Paul over her vulnerability. “If you and I never fell in love, I’d have been dead a long time ago. Paul, I came back home for a few months to tie up loose ends.”

Glancing at Daisy who stood by her, Y/N swallows thickly. “I was struggling with anxiety and depression. And I didn’t feel like I had anyone in this world other than my dad. I just…I was in therapy, but it didn’t really feel like it was working. The meds never really helped either. I was just so…so lonely.”

“Y/N”, Daisy rests a hand on her shoulder as a show of support.

“I was planning on taking my life and then you showed up in that forest with your stupid smile and gorgeous eyes and suddenly I had one more mystery to solve.” Smiling meekly, Y/N sighs. “Before long, I was falling in love with you and my friends returned to me and in that time, I started falling in love with life again. You saved my life, Paul Lahote, and I hate how cheesy that sounds, but you did. And whatever time I got now is still a lot longer than it would have been if we never met.”

Biting her lower lip, she closes her eyes. “You made me happier than I believed was possible. I love you and I want to marry you. I want to marry you and become your wife as we planned. Come back to me so we can enjoy this time we have left.”

“I will.”

She recognizes Paul’s voice immediately.

“I’ll be home soon. We’ll do whatever you want.” His voice is shaky, imbued with heavy emotions he’s attempting to keep under control.

Smiling, she nods. “A beach wedding would have been great, but the weather might not agree.”

“I’ll make sure it agrees,” Paul sniffles.

“Where we had our first date?”

“Sounds perfect!”

Neither spoke for a few moments. Each breath seems to hang in the air, heavy with unspoken thoughts. It’s the kind of silence that carries weight, a palpable tension that both parties are acutely aware of but hesitate to break. Y/N inhales sharply as Paul breaks the silence.

“I love you too.”

“I know”, she replies quietly.

“With all my heart.”

“I believe you.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Paul promises.

Nodding, she holds her breath as tears rush to her eyes. She can’t let Paul hear her crying. He’s carrying far too much guilt already and her tears shouldn’t be part of the load. Swallowing the growing lump at the back of her throat, she replies sweetly, her tone laced with all the love she wants to give him.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

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Tags: @b-tchymoon @squiddaloo @abbiesxox @kellyashcroft @the-chaotic-cow @xxxjaexxx @captainrogers-19 @bexloxl @llovergirlll @adaydreamaway08 @sunsetevergreen @volturiwolf @twihard08 @galacticstxrdust @sorrow-and-bliss @ireadthensuetheauthors @missxmarvelous @locokoca @unstablekay @makhaia @venusdelaroix @avadakadabra93 @tearsforhan @a-marie-a @lendeluxe @seagulls-corner @jdbxws @konigslilslut @rottenstyx @itsmytimetoodream @dreamerwasfound @convolutings @thingfromlove @jennyamanda8 @havecourage-darling @luvr-exe @alittlejudgemental @turningtoclown @emptydoorsandpaintedwindows @marvelmenarebeautiful @bringmethe-world @alitaar @sugasthreedollarkookie @chloe-skywalker @heyheyheyggg @feral-ratatattat-king @queereddie @fandomrulesall-blog @queenotaku27 @dcgoddess @lilac-crowns-blog @small-town-wayward-daughter @yourqueentp @boreddemigodd @chaosgoblinreblogsthings @felinegrate @lunajay33 @gtfoana @hpboysslut2707 @tpwk-harry-styles @amberpanda99 @let-love-bleeds-red @mo-s-blog @nj01 @myheadsinanotherworld @problematicpastry @witchybabel

A/N: No clue why Tumblr is being a bitch today, I don't even know if the tags are working because it doesn't let me do my usual thing, so if you're on the tag list, please let me know if you got a notification or not. On a side note, I've had the worst stomach bug since Friday, so forgive me for the grammar, I beg for leniency. As usual, anyone wanting to be tagged can comment on the post, just make sure your blog visibility settings are on and that your blog hasn’t been flagged (blurry pfp is usually your clue that you have been flagged) as those are most common reasons why tumblr won’t let you be tagged. Also keep in mind changing your @ might mean you lose your tag since Tumblr acts like your blog no longer exists due to the change.

Part 29

#paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #twilight fandom #twilight fanfiction #twilight saga #twlight #paul lahote series #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote angst #jacob black #the cullens #paul lahote fanfic #paul lahote fic #jasper hale #imprint #imprinting

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theaskywalker · 1 month

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hi! I had a small idea with Seth, reader (if you could do fem that would be amazing!) was in Russia for 4 years for her studies, for her coming back. she wanted to Suprise Seth by coming over in his jacket he gave her before she left:) I was thinking in that moment he looked at her (her eyes to be exact) he imprinted on her. (I would love for reader to have really sharp canines, not a vampire but almost like it! that's how my teeth have been and wanted to see someone include it in a fic:)

Seth Clearwater x Fem! Reader

Thank you for the request ghosty-boo-shh! It was an interesting idea and very fun to write. Hope you enjoy it! 😊

❥ You had always been close with Seth Clearwater.

❥ Having grown up in the same neighborhood and with your mothers being best friends it was no surprise that the two of you became practically inseparable.

❥ Sitting together during classes.

❥ Passing notes to each other when the teachers seperated you.

❥ Having lunch at the cafeteria.

❥ Studying together after school.

❥ Spending the weekends chilling at the beach or indoors watching movies and playing video games.

❥ Leah always joked that you acted like a married couple.

❥ Which turned the both of you into blushing fools.

❥ Seth liked to call you his little Dracula due to your extremely sharp canines.

❥ He loved that characteristic about you.

❥ And constantly reminded you of how cool it was.

❥ You in turn called him all sorts of silly nicknames referencing his favourite pop culture elements.

❥ By the time high school rolled up, you had fallen hopelessly in love with your best friend.

❥ You wanted to confess your feelings but the fear of him not returning them kept you silent.

❥ That's when everything changed.

❥ Your impressive academic record had won you a scholarship to attend one of the most prestigious colleges in Russia.

❥ It was your dream to study there and you were ecstatic.

❥ The day before you left, Seth came at your house to say goodbye.

❥ He surprised you by giving you his leather jacket that you had been admiring since the day he bought it.

"Something to remember me while you're at Moscow" he said.

❥ Without thinking you kissed him hard on the lips.

❥ A kiss that he reciprocated after a moment's hesitation.

❥ You confessed your feelings afterwards and Seth did the same.

❥ A long distance relationship wouldn't be easy.

❥ You promised to call him everyday and send emails in-between.

❥ And he promised to wait for you as long as it was needed.

❥ At first the communication between the two of you was daily.

❥ But after several months Seth's responses became less and less frequent.

❥ You didn't understand what caused this change in behaviour.

❥ Phone calls became non existent.

❥ And emails would be replied once a week at most.

❥ You patiently went along with it hoping that everything would go back as normal when you returned to Forks.

❥ After 4 years of studying abroad you finally graduated and made the long journey back home.

❥ The first thing you did after arriving in Forks was to go at Seth's house to surprise him.

❥ You had planned this little surprise beforehand by telling your parents to keep your return a secret.

❥ You even wore the jacket Seth gave you before leaving, thinking it would be nice to show him how much his present meant to you.

❥ Sue Clearwater greeted you warmly and explained that Seth and Leah were at the beach with friends.

❥ You went straight to La Push and saw the Clearwater siblings sitting across a fire roasting marshmallows together with Jacob Black, Quil Ateara and another boy.

❥ Leah was the first of the group to spot you and happily called you over.

❥ You gave Leah a hug and greeted Jacob and Quil, who introduced you to the third boy, Embry Call.

❥ Shyly, you turned to Seth and greeted him with a nervous "hello".

❥ The moment Seth locked eyes with you time freezed and gravity no longer held him in place.

❥ You were equally awestruck and unable to utter a word.

❥ Seth had loved you for years but nothing had prepared him for this extraordinary feeling that took over him.

❥ It was like your soul had touched his in an intimate way and nothing would ever be the same.

❥ Jacob Black broke the silence by asking you and Seth to collect more firewood.

❥ The two of you agreed.

❥ As you silently collected twigs along the beach, Seth noticed the jacket that you wore and grinned.

"You still have it after all those years"

❥ You smiled at Seth and told him that the jacket was a reminder of all the beautiful memories you had together.

"And I hope that it will be the start of many more to come" you added.

❥ Seth looked at you with adoration and claimed your lips in a gentle kiss that gradually grew more passionate.

❥ By the time the two of you made it back to the group with the firewood you were tasked to collect, one thing was certain.

"This is the beginning of something good"

Masterlist

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fabforgottennobility · 5 months

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#imprinting #nastassja kinski #beauty

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rooksages · 2 months

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“lowe doesn't know what answer to give her, so he simply walks over and slides his hand down misery's back as she hits the wall. but, seeing that this is not enough, he hugs her from behind. inhale its stimulating and disturbing scent. close the eyes.”

#bride #ali hazelwood #lowe moreland #misery lark #vampire #werewolf #wolf #imprinting #soulmates #books #book quotes #romance

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mist-see · 11 months

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Pain

⚠️ Cursing, detailed descriptions of Bella's body, dead beat mother mentioned ⚠️

Where does he go?

Today in a long time was beautiful. Forks was showing its true beauty as the sun shined through the trees and glistened against the water. For the first time in a while, it wasn’t humid or cold, but breezy and warm, maybe if you were lucky you’d have time to go to the beach and get a tan today. I don’t know, maybe even find a lover…wait.

You cringe at the thought, your hand coming to a pause from the math problem. Ugh. The thought makes your stomach acid bubble up with disgust. Then your mind flashes to Embry and hid derpy smile, you stomach suddenly reacting with nervousness. The two of you were meant to hang out later, no members of the pack, no phones, just you and him with the warm water from the beach. If only life was that simple.

It’s been two weeks since Bella and Edward went away on their honeymoon and a week since you’ve had that conversation with Embry. A month since you’ve been in Forks. Summer break was over. During that time you realize you truly couldn’t bring yourself to leave Forks again, you wanted to, to leave to feel the Atlantic air once again, but that deep void of emptiness was terrifying.

To be alone in your dorm, fighting internally with your instincts, fighting yourself for the break up that had you feeling empty every time you were alone at night, sob-less tears trickling down your face as you dreamt. You didn’t need that, you needed your family, you even risked having to share a shower with them again if that meant having someone faithful in your presence.

That’s why you transferred to Peninsula College. Local, close to your new support system. Also, close to your ex-boyfriend's family while he frolics in the wind of whatever he’s at. Ugh.

Someone faithful, huh? That voice spoke in your head just in time as your brother comes out of his room with his motorcycle keys in hand. You watched him as he puts on his worn boots in a semi hurry, quiet, yet you could tell he was loud internally. Where does he go? Jacob didn’t go to school anymore, studying for his GED when he had the chance, and he only worked Fridays to Sundays. And his stone expression says he wasn’t visiting any friends.

Ain’t shit faithful about this damn family, they hid shit from you, betrayed you. I gotta let that go. You sighed, sitting up from your slouched position in hopes to focus on the task at hand. Instead, you hear the opening of the fridge and the fidgeting of the sandwich meat package. “So… where have you been going nowadays.” You asked for the first time since his whole leaving out early and coming back late act. Theirs no way he has a girlfriend.

You watch as he rolls his shoulders back while he makes a quick sandwich, releasing the tense feeling he constantly had. “Just hanging around, you know? So how’s you and Embry?” Changing the subject, and he did it so fast. You’ll let it slide, to focused on your own problems, you couldn’t really care what Jacob was doing in his free time. Except you do, just not today.

Me and Embry? You truly couldn't find the way you arms filled with goosebumps at the mention of his name. You don't even have a crush on him. But why did it feel so good hearing his name? “Well…we’re getting better, speaking more. We’re supposed to go out later once he’s off from work, we’ll see.” As you spoke, Jacob finally faces you with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand while the other one fidgets with his keys. Seems like he doesn’t even want to speak, just trying to get me off his back so he can go handle whatever.

Maybe I’m overthinking.

Jacob's eyes narrowed at this, not knowing how he felt about his best friend coming over, alone, just the two of you. But, he just releases a hot breath from his nose as he eats the rest of the sandwich, hand coming down and wiping it against his jeans. He knew there was nothing he could do, except be the annoying little brother he was meant to be.

You were reading into the silence too much, to your brother it was probably comfortable, but in all honesty, you still couldn’t fully feel comfortable with him. All of this lying and secrets, the only person to trusted was yourself.

But you needed to break the silence so he could go about his day. “You’re really ugly, I keep forgetting we found you under a bridge.” He scoffed, annoyed but smiling, happy you were still you, the annoying big sis he needed.

“Yeah, says the mistress baby, I’m out!” It was your turn to scoff, yours loud and sarcastic. “Huh! Jokes on you, I’m not even offended!” You childishly stuck your tongue out at him, which he mirrors as he walks to the door. Just like that, all of that insecurity you were feeling was gone, all that anger washing away as you play fight with your brother.

“Yeah whatever dog brains, bye!” Before you could clap back, the fragile door slams against its hinges, making you gasp. He ate you up. You cringe in disgust as you hear the bike engine roar to life and slowly fade away. You hated losing arguments with him, never again.

|Jakes Pov|

It felt great today. It was a shame that I’d be spending this day with the Cullens, the only people in Forks who couldn’t even enjoy the sun. Why am I socializing with my enemies? Well… its not that I have much of a choice. She was back.

Bella was back

In the worst possible condition, she could be in. But she wasn’t them, not yet. She was still her.

If I could- if I could just convince her to get rid of it- to save herself, then maybe… maybe she’ll have a chance to be… her.

Or maybe I’m just prolonging the inevitable.

She’s dying. She’s dying from his baby, and there is nothing I can do but sit there and watch the one I fell for wilt away.

Pulling in front of the large White House I couldn’t help but to cringe at the smell once again. A week here and I’m still not used to it, my body constantly reacting negatively.

“Jake!..” I smiled as her soft voice says my name. “Hey, Bells.” My voice was softer as well, so afraid if I raise it I could somehow break her. She was so fragile. Her hair was thinner, her skin, pale with blue undertones, no longer fair with red cheeks. Her eyes were sunken in as if she was getting drained slowly by slowly, but they still held that beautiful light in them, if anything the light was brighter than before. Her body was smaller, skinnier, and delicate as that demon feeds from her, and her lips… her lips were stained red. The only source of color she seemed to have.

“I missed you..” she reaches up for my hand, which I gently, and quickly grabbed to warm her up. “You missed me or you missed your natural heating source?” I grinned as she grinned. “Both,” she laughed, slowly moving over which I was quick to help her do. “Hey, I got it.” I leaned her against me, and I swore I heard edwards marble teeth grind against each other from the far corner.

Speaking of the devil. “Jacob..” I pulled her cold body closer, something in me telling me that he’d take her away. Even if he already has.

But to my surprise when I look over to the man that hurt my best friend, he was glaring at the woods, stone body fidgeting with his hands. “What,” I answered, trying my hardest to act like I didn’t care what he was thinking.

Then he turns towards me and Bella, thick brows turned inwards as if he was thinking long and hard.

Oh, this is serious.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” His voice cracks. It was weird. He was so perfect, he walked perfectly, he talked perfectly, and he dressed perfectly. Yet here he was, slowly breaking down as his world-my world begins to rot and die.

Looking down at Bella, she gives me a small smile before shifting away. The Blondy takes my place, but instead wraps a thicker blanket against her frame. Edward barely spared me a look as we began walking a trail into the woods, by the river so the ones on the inside couldn’t listen in.

“You know… I’d always known you’d destroy her… just not in this way..” I couldn’t help but to bring myself to say it. I’ve been coming here for a week and every time I see her… and see what IT does to her I can’t but hate this freak even more.

Staring longingly at the trees Edward takes a shaky breath, an attempt to get fresh air before slowly turning towards me. “She… she thinks Carlisle can turn her at the last minute,” My back straightens at this.

At this point did I have a choice? It was too late, her body failing her every day, I knew this was coming but I wish I wasn’t going to be there to witness it.

“Like he did for me and Esme.” He finishes.

This time it was me who took in a deep breath, nerves running through me. This could work, it had to. “Well… can he??” I questioned, quickly wanting an answer and not some wordplay.

“It’s… slight.” Bringing my hands up to my face I release an aggressive sigh. I guess I should’ve known that. I mean, look at her.

“Edward… she has to live.”

“And if her heart stops…” he pauses, amber eyes falling into the leaves and dirt as if he’d given up. This isn’t the time to give up. “Go on with it.” My hands drop to my sides, fists clinching, not wanting him to say it, but I wanted him to. Just so he could feel that this was real, that this pain hurts.

“Jacob… do something for me…” I scoffed. How dare he.

“If not for me then for her!” He asserted.

Now I’m listening. Looking back at him I sigh, tilting my head so he’d know to continue.

“You have this… connection to her that I’ll never understand. Maybe you could talk to her, to try… to try to save her,” his lip quivers as if he’s about to cry.

“You could keep her alive.”

Tuh… there was no changing Bella Swan's mind. In the back of my mind… I knew. I knew how this was going to end. But I needed to try.

“And if I can’t?”

“If she dies…” there it was. Edward Masen. His eyes went blank, no light in those stone-cold pupils as he spoke about the maybe death of the love of my life. I almost felt pity for him. But unfortunately, I had months of preparation for this day.

“If she dies,” he repeated as if it was hard to get out. “You get what you always wanted, to kill me.” He shrugs. He shrugs as if it was the simplest thing ever.

“I can’t live without her.”

Walking back into the living room, the first thing I see is a smaller Bella wrapped around a heavy comforter and fuzzy grey socks.

She dismissed blondy-or Rose before I took my seat on the couch in front of her.

“You two besties now?” I try to lift the sour mood from earlier, which she appreciates with a smile. “Rose knows what I want. I guess we have some things in common.” She sighs as if this was the beginning of something great.

“How’s ___?” Ugh… she just had to say it huh? My sister…

I’m betraying her right now, and it hurts.

“Um…”I chew on my lip as I looked down. How can I say this without stressing her out more? “Um, what?… hey… don’t tell me something bad happened... Rose and Alice said they saw her the other day with Leah. Said she looked… different.” She plays with the blanket, a small nervous tic.

“No, no nothing bad… well… ___ is kinda dealing with some wolf hormones right now… and she imprinted on Embry.” Bella smiles her beautiful smile, before settling on a closed-lip one. “Well- I guess I kinda assumed that would happen… she looked different during the wedding. And… tell her I said good luck on the whole imprinting journey… and, and that I’m sorry.” The smile was no longer on her face. She still felt bad about the whole wedding situation.

I didn’t get much information on it, my dad and Sue filled me in once I came back. “I’ll make sure to tell her that… she needs to hear it.”

She does need to hear that… the woman your man cheated on you with, the woman who’s now pregnant with death itself has the balls to apologize… but not me…

I fucking suck.

“So… did Edward send you in here to change my mind?” She grins weakly

“Sort of. Though I’m not sure why, it’s not like you listen to me, you never did.” We both laugh at this. So stubborn.

“What are you thinking bells? Seriously.”

She rests her bony hand on her belly. “I know it seems like a bad thing. Something that… shouldn’t even exist. But it’s not, it’s not scary, it’s beautiful, a baby. He’s a miracle.”

I scoff again, trying my hardest to not say something offensive, or at least try to play it as a joke. “So it’s a bouncing baby boy?- I’m sorry I didn’t know, should’ve brought some blue balloons.”

She grins, shaking her head. “It’s just a guess… I’ve been having dreams about a curly-headed boy. And my dreams are usually real. I guess we’ll see.” I shake my head, elbows now on my knees as I leaned in.

“No… you won’t.”

“Jacob I can do this! I’m strong enough ” She says, hope in her eyes.

I could feel the anger come back to me, the anger I felt when I first saw her bruised belly.

“Tuh- oh come oooon. You can yap that shit to your bloodsucker but you don’t fool me, Bella.” Her brows push together from the cursing.

“I’m not blind Bella, I can SEE what that thing doing to you, that pixie girl said it! She can’t see you anymore, she can’t see you alive!” My voice began to raise, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad as I watched her lean backward.

“You’re wrong…” It made me sick at how bright those brown eyes were. She had so much hope that this would work, but my gut, my gut tells me otherwise.

“And when you die… what was it all for? Huh? Me loving you, you loving him, how is that fair? Huh? Tell me Bella how is that right to anyone?” She stayed quiet, the face of mourning on her face. She knew I was leaving slowly.

“Cuz I sure don’t see it.” She begins to tear up, and I feel my heart-shattering. I keep breaking my promise to her. Breathing out I get off the couch and sit on my knees in front of her, gently taking her cold hand that rested on her belly.

“Listen to me, Bella…. Please!” I begged, my eyes getting blurry but I blink away the tears so I can stare right into her eyes. “Just don’t… don’t do this. Live- okay? Screw my emotions, don’t do it for me or Edward. But do it for Charlie! Do it Renée!” She lets out a sob, her lips curling into each other before looking out the window.

“Jake…” that wasn’t fair of me, but life isn’t fair. THIS isn’t fair.

“Everything is going to be okay.”

Even though she heard my words, she refused to listen to them.

Letting out a broken breath, I nodded, eyes going down to glare at the kicking belly before I take my hand away from hers and stand up.

Jake- don’t go!” She sighed, throat too fragile to raise her voice. But I grabbed my jacket before giving her one good look.

“I know how this ends.” I force myself to keep my eyes on hers, but they found their way back to her stomach. “I’m not sticking around to watch.”

And so I walked off.

Walking past Rose, past Edward, and past Carlisle until I reached my motorcycle.

All that anger I was storing from her came back. I couldn’t even bring myself to start up the engine before I threw the leather jacket against the gravel and kicked the machine against the trees.

Then I felt that heat again. That burning heat that I grew to admire.

I felt myself rip out my skin and run into the woods, the burning lasting a fraction of a second before I howled out.

“Jake?” ___ called out

“Jacob, what’s wrong?” No, no no no Seth shut up, I tried whipping my head, trying to force the images of Bella sitting there half dead, of her bruised stomach from a week ago, of Edward asking me to kill him. Of me begging, pleading with her to give her life another chance. And the soft voice of Bella trying to call me back.

Visions in my head and voices in my ears, I didn’t notice the car suddenly swerving to the side to come to a stop. But I didn’t give them a chance to let them look as I hopped back into the woods.

I howled once more, calling for the pack, just hoping that there was a way for them to help

“Jake??”

“Jake!”

“Jacob what going on??”

“Jake this can’t be real”

We all run to the meeting spot, at the peer where the trees lay for construction.

“Is it true Jacob?” Paul asked lips coming over his teeth as he circled me. “It’s growing fast,” he says again, the others coming behind me.

Leah gets there with Seth, her voice louder than the others, “It’s unnatural!” “Dangerous!” Jared's voice yelled after hers. “An abomination!” Paul growls, causing me to bare my teeth in defense, but Quil was quick to choose his side. “We can’t have that thing on our land!”

“We can’t allow it!” They repeated as they circled me.

“She’s pregnant…”

___…

|___ pov|

Everyone turns to face you. And for the first time in a while, you felt like a kicked dog. The flashes of Bella and her bruised protruding belly as she sat there pale. Her voice echoed and meshed with Edwards. Then his lone voice whispered, “If she dies, you get what you’ve always wanted, to kill me.”

Whimpering, your ears press to the back of your head, feet taking a step backward. “Y/n..” Embry walks up to you, feeling your hurt

He got her pregnant. After you thought that pain was away, it was back, and it was fresh. So fresh you felt your heart bleeding.

Then a throaty bark sounded from above us. Sam.

“We have to protect the tribe. We come first, Forks is always first!” You huff out from your snout, your sides instantly warmer as you felt Seth and Embry get closer to you.

“Once that thing is born it won’t be able to control its thirst!”

“We’re ready!” Jared announced

“No time to waste. Let’s go!” This time it was Leah, making you peel back your lip in a growl.

“Let’s think this through!” Your voice echoes in their heads, Leah, the first one to approach you. “Absolutely not! ___, remember what they’ve done to you! You got hurt by those bloodsuckers! They deserve it!” Not like this.. not like this.

They don’t need to hurt like this.

“Right now?!” Jacob steps up to Sam, his ears twitching back

“We have to get rid of it before it’s born.”

Oh god…

“You mean… kill Bella?” Seth steps beside Jacob, which you get in front of him just in case Sam had the thought of putting the younger in his place.

“Seth…”

“Her choice affects all of us!” A growl is released from your throat, a sign which Sam takes as disrespect. His brown eyes flick toward you.

“What do you have to say?”

“Sam don’t do this!”

Embry speaks up, approaching you, only to get shut down with a bark from Sam.

“I won’t be a part of this! Me and my brother won’t do it!” It was time to act like a big sibling, your big body pushing Jacobs over so he wouldn’t get hurt.

“You, are nothing but a lost puppy. You don’t get to say anything!” He barks, but you didn’t flench like the others around you. You were good at taking disrespect you just recently found out. But you still felt it, the need to bow down and obey the alpha, you just couldn’t do it.

“Bella’s human!” Jacob cuts in, trying to get the attention back to himself. “Our protection applies to her!”

“She’s dying anyways!” Leah snaps her teeth, digging them into the fat of jacobs neck. Oh fuck no.

That friendship meant shit to you if she disrespects your brother in front of you. You moved faster, clenching your jaw down into her neck to pull her off of him. “Don’t touch him!” You seethed, wide tongue coming out to lick your teeth. Leah’s ears press against her head as it ducks down in submission

Being older only gets you some places. But being Ephraim Black's great-granddaughter gave you the advantage. You were supposed to be the Alpha. And the others were realizing it.

“Enough!” You gave the girl one last growl before whipping your head back to Sam

“We have real enemies to fight tonight!” He starts coming down the tower of logs, making his way toward you and your brother.

“Tonight?!” You and Jakes voice sync, Seth’s whine catching your brother’s attention. But you didn’t dare take your eyes away from Sams.

“You will fight with us. The both of you.” He commands, causing you both to step back. “Jacob don’t you fucking listen to this old bitch.” You growl, head ducking down, which Sam snips at you, teeth almost coming closed on your snout before you backed up just in time.

You snarl at him, Jake doing the same thing. It was only for a few seconds before you finally made up your mind.

You were leaving.

You had to.

“I won’t! I will not sit here and go kill my best friend and her child! I am the granddaughter of Ephraim Black!

“And I am the grandson of Ephraim Black!

“We aren’t meant to take orders from you Sam Uley. I wasn’t born to follow you or anyone else. But I will follow my brother. Because we know what’s right! And this shit ain’t right!”

“___!” Embry yelled out, knowing what you were going to do.

You ignored him, you had to. ”I’m out!” You bark, teeth on display as you bump into Sam, and went up the logs.

Fuck them. I don’t need them.

“So, you choose your little brother instead huh?”

You send him a glare before focusing your eyes on the White House in front of you, the Cullens house. “Okay… I deserve that. I betrayed you, your trust… I deserve this.”

Boy, fuck you.

“I betrayed my imprint. My friends… but I do this because know what's right and what's wrong... And this shit is wrong.” I shake my head, heart heavy with what felt like grief when I bring up embry.

We never got to hang out together. Will we ever? Now that I broke my bond with that pack, we’ll see each other less, and it’ll hurt like hell.

“Garcelle called today.”

Jacob whips his head toward me with wide eyes, but he couldn’t get anything out as the trees move behind us. A boy with a tilted smile comes out, letting you release a sigh.

“Seth.” You and your brother say at the same time, making you roll your eyes.

“Kid, what are you doing here?” You asked, eyes immediately searching your perimeter for any more movement. “Don’t worry! No one followed.” He smiles brightly

“Go home, Seth.” Your brother rolled his eyes. “No! I can’t, I won’t stand behind him! I like Bella and Edward!”

“Oh yes, you will! I’m not kidding, get outta here.” Jacob talks back, arms coming across his chest. Seth's mouth forms into a pout, a sigh coming from his nose. “Or what? Is that an order? You gonna make me bow down to?” Jake rolled his eyes once again, an attitude deep in his roots. You keep having to remind yourself that he is just a kid himself, barely 17.

“I’m not ordering anyone. It’s not like I can… ___ is the alpha.” Seth gasps and faces me, but I keep my eyes on the White House in front of me. “Don’t put me in this.”

“Can I stay? Please??” You closed your eyes with a groan.

Seth was just a kid, not knowing the sacrifices he was going to make during this.

“Seth- are you willing to fight your friends-your sister if it comes down to it? Huh?” You weren't going to say no to him, but he needs to know what the hell is real and what’s not.

But he was ready, a determined look on his face as he gives you a nod. “If that’s what it takes to do the right thing.” You give Jacob a look, and he shrugs. “Fine… you’re in.”

“Woo! Hell yeah!”

“Language.”

“Yup! Can do.”

“Jake, go give the Cullens a heads up. I’m going to run the perimeter.” This was just an excuse for you to not see Edward. You haven’t seen him since the wedding and honestly, you’ll force yourself to keep it that way.

“Right-wait! Take him.” Your younger brother points to the young boy. Grinning you shake your head. “Whatever. Come one kid.”

Tag list:

@smenny

@lady-ragnvindr

@itsmytimetoodream

@kyrah-williams

@iv3t

@esposadomd

@delvira-only-baby

@dietothemusic

@lola-bunny765

@hw-shorty

@kissforvoid

@caramelcandy

@fwegu

@twililty

Part 5 <<<<<<<

Part 7>>>>>>>

#black!reader #dom!reader #black reader #dom reader #edward cullen x reader #twilight angst #embry call x reader #twilight renaissance #twilight x reader fanfiction #imprinting #twilight werewolves #mist see; pain #vampire #reader x vampire #jasper whitelock x reader #carlisle cullen x reader #the twilight saga #twilight

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toyastales · 6 months

Text

Don't carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones to rise above them.

Title: Computing...Downloading...Imprinting

Artist: LaToya Cole

Purchase prints of this painting at:

https://www.saatchiart.com/print/Painting-Computing-Downloading-Imprinting/422485/9948617/view

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panlight · 1 year

Text

#twilight renaissance #panlight polls #imprinting

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im-a-wonderling · 1 year

Text

Love & Hate, Part VII ~ Paul Lahote

Wow, this series is getting more and more popular. This part has one of my favorite scenes in the whole fanfic, so I hope you guys enjoy! @writing-on-the-wahl, thank you so much for being such a good sport about helping me edit all my fanfics before I post them. You’re the best, and I’m forever grateful.

Warnings: descriptions of needles and drawing blood

Word count: 9k

Love & Hate masterlist

The two mile walk from his cabin to Sam and Emily’s house took twice as long as it could’ve, but Paul didn’t want to let the wolf out. After so thoroughly losing his freedom of choice last night, he wanted to avoid shifting if at all possible.

It sent him into a foul mood, the fact that he was tiptoeing around something within himself. Nothing egged at him quite so much as that.

If Y/N wasn’t around, he wouldn’t have any issues with the wolf. There would be no need for arguing, no need for spontaneous trips to Kansas City, and absolutely no need for Jacob to bite him. Paul ran his hand across his shoulder underneath the sleeves of his tank, over the place where the bite mark had been. The wound had closed fairly quickly thanks to his supernatural healing, but the memories of the pain and embarrassment lingered.

He was so far gone, so preoccupied with thoughts of a woman that his packmate had to bite him?

And worse than that, the words Jared shared about Y/N being alone wormed around in his brain, joining forces with the wolf’s utter mortification over the fight they’d had. In favor of dealing with the full moon, Paul pushed the memories of the argument aside, but now the full moon was over. Now there was no excuse to make to rid himself of the waves of shame.

A growl loosed from his throat.

Paul was easily irritated, he knew that, but Y/N could just get under his skin like no one else ever had.

Add that to the wolf’s constant, unhelpful commentary about how beautiful she was and how good it would feel to be next to her and how perfect she was…Paul’s path to being the crazy villager everyone laughed about was almost set in stone.

He shook his head, trying to focus on the present.

Apparently, when Sam had informed Carlisle of the events the night of the full moon earlier this morning, Carlisle had asked for the chance to speak to the pack. Since Paul was intentionally not shifting, he didn’t have the chance to see the memory, but according to what Sam said on the phone, Carlisle had been rather anxious.

What could have the doctor all tied in knots?

I suppose I’m about to find out, Paul thought as he opened the front door.

Y/N’s scent hit him like a semi truck, and he immediately clenched his fists, fighting his desires both for more air and more of her smell.

Had her scent always been this sweet?

Paul didn’t know, but if her scent was somehow becoming more irresistible to him over time, he might as well take up permanent residence in Kansas City if he wanted to be a functional human being.

Was there somewhere in La Push Paul could get a scuba tank? If he brought his own air, there was no need to be smelling Y/N’s.

He shook his head.

Stupid idea.

He stepped into the house, trying to ignore the intoxicating smell, lest he lose any semblance of common sense he had left. As soon as Paul laid eyes on the scene in the living room, however, he realized he had much bigger problems.

Jacob sat on the armchair, like he always did, while Sam and Emily stood beside the walkway to the kitchen. A few werewolves lazed about on the furniture while the majority of the pack made themselves at home on the floor. Considering the pack’s rise in numbers, there wasn’t any floor space to spare.

Carlisle Cullen stood with his back to the fireplace, hands wringing and eyes flitting to look at every werewolf in the room. Leah, perched on the arm of the couch, gave a mock salute when she saw Paul. She was the only one to acknowledge him. The rest of the pack watched the doctor. No one assumed the bloodsucker’s news was of a good variety, but his apparent nerves heightened the highly strung atmosphere.

The tension in the air was unlike anything Paul had ever experienced.

Paul stood on the other side of the walkway to the kitchen, leaning against the wall, pretending like he knew exactly what to do with his arms. His ears caught the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway, and from the labored gait, he knew exactly who it was.

When Y/N came around the corner, Paul’s heart seized in his throat.

He’d forgotten how beautiful she was. It wasn’t just one part of her. It wasn’t only the way her hair framed her face or the sensuous lips or the innate grace she carried, even with her limp. No, her beauty belonged in the whole picture, the balance and colors used in this living painting.

His insides leapt as she came closer. He wasn’t sure if he’d been existing these past few days because to be seen by her was to exist, and it’d been far too long since they’d last seen each other.

Paul’s brain came to a screeching halt.

Those thoughts weren’t his.

Shut up, Paul grumbled at the wolf.

Still, the wolf barked in protest as Y/N limped right past him without batting an eye.

“Y/N,” Sam said congenially.

Instead of saying anything back or even nodding, she pursed her lips, throwing a glare in his direction. When Jacob got up to offer him her seat, she fixed him with the same cold stare and limped over to stand by the wall opposite Paul instead.

Paul cocked his head, suddenly curious.

Why was she behaving with such hostility? There was no way she’d forgiven Paul for the comments he’d made after changing her tire, but she wouldn’t take that out on Sam or Jacob. She was unreasonable, but not that unreasonable.

Which meant something else was going on.

Whatever it was, it most likely had something to do with Carlisle’s studious effort to avoid looking in Y/N’s direction. Didn’t the two of them work together? They’d acted fairly chummy before, so why suddenly did Carlisle look as if there was a tennis ball stuck in his throat?

Paul suddenly straightened.

Had some sort of romantic advance been made? Had Y/N…

He didn’t want to finish the thought, not when her smell was calling to him. Not when it took all his strength not to give into the gravity she’d always seemed to have around him. Besides, the doctor was happily married…right?

But what if Y/N was attracted to him? It would make sense because they were both in the medical field, but she wasn’t supposed to be with the bloodsucker, she was supposed to be with him. No one could ever be good enough for her, but Paul was the only one who could be sure to try every day to keep her safe and happy.

Really, man? Paul asked the wolf. Calm down.

“Alright, Carlisle,” Sam said, arms folded in the stance he typically took when he was trying to look authoritative (Paul had once caught him practicing it in a mirror). “What’s the news?”

Carlisle cleared his throat, and Paul couldn’t help noticing he now looked like a high school boy about to confess to his parents that he’d accidentally gotten a girl pregnant. “Um, well, my family and I…we-we decided not to, uh, tell you about this, but with the events of late, it’s probably best that you know.”

Paul exchanged a nervous look with Jacob. A bloodsucker secret? This couldn’t be good.

“You may recall that some humans have blood that sings to vampires.” Carlisle took a deep breath. “These ‘singers’ are nearly impossible for vampires to resist, especially if they haven’t practiced resisting human blood before.”

“So…it’s like how Bella’s blood sang to Edward?” Jacob asked.

Y/N hadn’t known that, judging by the slight rise of her eyebrows.

Paul hated the fact he’d even noticed.

“Yes, like that.” Carlisle scratched his neck. Then, his eyes darted in Y/N’s direction, as if it were uncontrollable.

A flare of some green-eyed, protective need rang through Paul, like Carlisle’s look was a mallet hitting Paul’s bell. “Out with it already,” Paul grumbled, curling his hands into first to keep from storming towards the vampire and bashing his face in. “Some of us have patrols to do.”

Carlisle shoved his hands into his pockets. “As you know, werewolves and vampires are natural enemies.” He paused again, and Paul only just resisted the urge to walk over and shake the words out of him. “I think that’s why this vampire is hanging around.”

Confused murmurs erupted in the room, as mostly everyone still didn’t understand what Carlisle was getting at.

“What didn’t your family want to tell us?” Sam asked, trying to get straight to the point.

“The blood of a wolf’s imprint sings to all vampires,” Carlisle said.

The whole world ceased to spin, teetering dangerously on its axis.

Paul gaped at the doctor.

How long had the Cullens been sitting on this? Did the Cullens have any idea how much danger they’d put Emily in by not telling the pack this information? Or Kim, Jared’s imprint? Or Quil’s kindergarten imprint?

Of course, the Cullens kept this to themselves. Renesmee, being half vampire, was most likely immune to this.

A few growls sounded around Paul, and he knew he was not the only one having a hard time refraining from violence.

Out of the corner of his eye, Paul saw Sam shift to stand in between the doctor and Emily. “You’re saying,” Sam said slowly, like he was imagining what Carlisle would look like with a broken nose, “that vampires are attracted to the blood of our imprints?”

Carlisle nodded solemnly. “I think that’s why this vampire is hunting Y/N.”

Paul froze.

In his preoccupation, he hadn’t realized it wasn’t just Emily, Kim, Claire and Renesmee who’d been endangered by the keeping of this secret.

Y/N was too.

Had someone dumped a colony of fire ants on Paul? He could’ve sworn something was burning his skin, crawling up and down his back and neck. The guilt that had been plaguing him earlier was nothing compared to the tidal wave that rose up in him now. He nearly choked as the full weight of the news sunk in. It was Paul’s fault Y/N was in danger. The vampire wouldn’t be hunting her with such an intensity if Paul hadn’t imprinted on her.

Paul’s eyes slowly slid to her, suddenly wishing she would look at him so he could guess what she was feeling.

But Y/N’s eyes stayed on the doctor as a mirthless laugh tumbled out of her mouth. “You’re telling me–” she pushed off from the wall to step in Carlisle’s direction, “–that not only am I stuck with him–” she pointed an accusing finger straight at Paul, “–as my supposed soulmate, I’m now an irresistible snack for all vampires?”

Carlisle winced. “That’s a bit harsh–”

Another bitter and grating laugh came from Y/N, and Paul felt like his insides were shriveling and crumbling away.

“Dr. Cullen, I think you should leave now.” Sam’s voice was tense, leaving no room for argument. With the speed Carlisle headed for the door, he wasn’t looking for any room anyways.

Unfortunately, Carlisle left behind only one target for Y/N’s wrath.

She rounded on Paul. “You.” Paul was glad just then for Y/N’s limp, because she wouldn’t be able to chase him if he needed to make a run for it. “You and your imprinting!”

“Y/N, that’s enough,” Sam said the same tone he’d used on Carlisle.

But of course, where the doctor had fled, Y/N stood her ground. “I’m not one of your lackeys!” she spat at him. “I have a job, Sam, a life that I’ve been shut away from because you guys can’t catch this stupid vampire. And now, you’re only going to shut me up longer while you cross your fingers and twiddle your thumbs!”

Paul knew he should get involved and make an attempt to calm Y/N down or reason with her. But he couldn’t make himself move towards her.

“We’ll protect you,” Sam cut in, “just as we have been.”

Y/N advanced on him. “What, are you going to tell me to be patient and sit around this house while I continue to wait for you guys to save the day?!” Sam opened his mouth, but nothing came out, which is how Paul knew that was exactly what he’d been going to say. Y/N shook her head so violently that a lock of hair fell into her face. “No.” She tucked the lock of hair behind her ear in a movement that somehow made Paul’s chest ache. “No, now it’s my turn.”

“What are you going to do?” Sam asked. “Chase the vampire down yourself?”

The little jab at Y/N’s limp made Paul’s breath catch. He knew that Sam’s frustration wasn’t really aimed at Y/N, he knew that. But his hands still rolled into fists, and it took every bit of his strength to keep from flinging himself at the alpha.

But Y/N didn’t cower or cringe, she only held herself taller. “No, because as you guys have so kindly proved, chasing this vampire doesn’t amount to anything.” Sam’s face soured, and Paul’s shoulders relaxed from their previously murderous stance as a smile fought to break free. Clearly she didn’t need him fighting her battles.

“We need to lure him,” Y/N said.

All the members of the pack looked at each other, and Paul didn’t have to be in his wolf form to pick up on their desperation. “How?” Jared asked.

“Bait,” was Y/N’s response.

Every cell in Paul’s body rebelled as his head filled with the yips of rejection from the wolf. “Absolutely not,” he blurted out, causing everyone in the room to look at him, Y/N included. It was hard to focus when he could see the full scope of the anger simmering in her expression, but he managed. “We’re not putting you in danger.”

“I don’t need your permission, and I certainly don’t need any of your protective wolf bullshit.” Paul couldn’t hold back his flinch. “It’s my life on the line, and I’ve had enough of sitting back and hoping that you guys will do your jobs. I say we’re setting a trap.”

Y/N’s icy words made Paul feel cold all over, but he wasn’t about to back down. “Do you have any idea how painful it is to be sucked dry of all your blood?” he asked her. He intended for it to match her levels of venom, but the question came out softly.

Y/N’s eyes blazed hotter. “I’m no stranger to pain.”

The wolf whimpered. She didn’t deserve pain, nor any other discomfort this world could subject her to. She deserved sunshine. And bouquets of flowers. Gentle kisses and back massages. Bubble baths and–

“Fine then,” Paul managed to say around the wolf’s cascade of thoughts. “Do you have any idea what happens to a wolf when its imprint dies?”

A smile appeared on Y/N’s face, an expression of pure spite. “Well, you’ve wanted to be rid of me since day one, so it seems like a win-win for you.”

All of the sinew in Paul’s body rotted into pain, and he inhaled sharply. He deserved that comment, he knew he did, but it was like Y/N thrust a knife into some deep part of him. Whether that part belonged to him or the wolf, Paul didn’t know.

Not looking the least bit apologetic, Y/N addressed the pack. “The vampire wants my blood. And thankfully for us, I’ve been drawing blood since I started med school.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “You want to draw some of your blood and use it as a trap?”

Y/N nodded. “Carlisle said it was nearly impossible to resist an imprint’s blood when it’s inside the body. Imagine how irresistible it would be outside of the body.”

Bile burned in Paul’s throat at the idea of any of Y/N’s blood being outside her body.

“It could work,” Leah mused, and Seth elbowed her. “What?” she snapped. “Y/N’s right, our way hasn’t worked. Maybe it’s time for a change of tactic.”

Paul glared at Leah, but she didn’t bat an eye.

“I’m down,” Seth said, looking completely at ease in his position sprawled on the floor. Paul opened his mouth to argue.

“I’m in too.” Jared’s eyes were far away, likely centered around a fair-haired classmate in need of extra protection.

“Sam?” Jacob pushed, and Paul wheeled to look at the alpha.

Sam glanced at his wife, and Paul knew what he was thinking.

If they used Y/N as bait and caught the vampire, Emily would be safe.

Sam rolled his shoulders, preparing for action. “Let’s do it.”

Paul stared around the room at the pack, at his brothers, who’d been gushing about their imprints and telling Paul that he would one day understand. Yet every one of them had thrown Y/N into the way of danger for either a chance at a bloodsucker hunt or their own imprint’s safety.

Paul’s blood boiled, bringing his body temperature even hotter.

He wanted to rip out his pack’s throats.

And what’s worse, he knew it was only his own imprint bond making him feel that way.

This was why.

This whole situation offered more proof than Paul could ever need about the imprinting bond. It always, always did more harm than good.

As Y/N and the pack launched into brainstorming, Paul shrank against the wall, wishing he could be alone.

He wanted nothing to do with this plan.

“What do you mean I have to go to the hospital?!” Paul roared at his alpha. It didn’t matter if the two werewolves were all the way across the room; Paul’s raised voice still made me jump.

He cut me a glance, something urgent simmering in his face, but he turned back to Sam too quickly for me to decipher where the heat was coming from.

Sam didn’t even blink at Paul’s commonplace display of temper. “We need Y/N’s blood, and the supplies necessary for that are at the hospital. Plus, this way Y/N can check out Emily and the baby to make sure they’re okay.”

“So then you go with them,” Paul snarked. “Why is my presence necessary?”

“Because I’m driving Emily home after we check the baby. And because someone needs to protect Y/N while she draws the blood. Because we don’t want her alone in that hospital with Dr. Cullen. Because she’s your imprint and I’m your alpha.” Sam arched an eyebrow. “Do you need more reasons?”

I glanced at Paul, who, noticing my attention, sat down on the armchair, frowning. I rolled my eyes at his petulance. If I could stomach being in the same room with him, he could too.

“Emily, are you almost ready?” Sam called, rubbing his forehead.

“I can’t tie my shoes!” she hollered back from the bedroom.

“Just wear slip-on shoes then!”

“Sam Levi Uley, stop being a jerk and help me tie my shoelaces!”

All the worry on Sam’s face melted away, giving room for a smitten smile. “Coming,” he said, too quietly for Emily to hear.

The sweet tone of his words only made it all the more awkward when he disappeared into the bedroom, leaving me alone in the living room with Paul.

His eyes rested on the wall. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he was internally debating something dull, such as the best technique for brushing one’s teeth. But there was no mistaking the way his fingers gripped the arms of the chair or the way his arm muscles were flexing, allowing a sliver of his tattoo to peek out from his short sleeve.

He hadn’t so much as attempted to start a conversation with me, not about my blood singing to vampires, nor what he’d said after changing my tire. Part of me wondered if he waited because he wanted me to break the silence first.

But I didn’t have anything to say that I could tell Paul.

Like, for instance, how would I ever be able to convince a vampire to bite me but leave enough blood in my body to circulate the venom that would change me? If my blood was irresistible, no vampire, no matter how disciplined, would be able to resist even a drop of my blood. It wouldn’t just be a risk, it would be suicide.

Once again, my quest had become harder and more steps were added to my plan.

Now this vampire had to be dealt with before Paul and I could focus on breaking the bond, and there was a chance of my blood remaining irresistible even after the bond was broken.

The idea of getting that far and still failing was…unthinkable.

I tried to shake off the hopelessness swirling around me like fog. Becoming a vampire was my only hope and had been for months. I wouldn’t stop, not even if it seemed impossible.

I walked into the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of water. I’d barely taken a sip when Emily waddled into the kitchen. “I’m driving,” she announced.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Sam asked gingerly. His soft tone didn’t land as intended, for Emily turned to glare at her husband, who seemed to shrink a little.

“I’m with Sam,” I said, drawing Emily’s wrathful gaze. But unlike Sam, I’d dealt with expecting mothers before. “Your movement is limited, and that’s not safe for you, your baby, or anyone riding with you.”

Emily narrowed her eyes, but I could tell by her silence that she saw my point. Out of anyone in La Push, my MD probably had the most sway with her. “I’m not riding with Paul,” she finally said flatly. “He’s a maniac when he drives.”

Paul started grumbling under his breath.

I smiled at Emily, slightly pleased that she’d annoyed him. “You can ride with me.”

“Absolutely not,” Sam interjected. “There needs to be one wolf per car, in case the vampire shows up.” Emily’s obvious exasperation didn’t seem to have the same effect this time around. Sam might’ve been willing to quail on some things, but when it came to vampires and safety, he’d never change his mind, not with the recent news from Carlisle.

Then the whole room seemed to come to a realization at the same time.

If Emily wouldn’t ride with Paul and Sam wouldn’t allow her to ride with me…

I shot a glance at Paul, who glanced at me at the same time. He looked away quickly, but I just narrowed my eyes.

If he didn’t already regret imprinting on me, he would soon.

With his superhuman lungs, one would think Paul’s lung capacity would be upgraded as well.

As it was, holding his breath lasted him less than a minute.

Her smell clung to his skin like humidity, and like humidity, it was causing him to sweat badly enough to need a shower. It was difficult to keep still. His limbs contained all this unnecessary energy, making time seem slower. Any time Emily’s car came into view on the road in front of them, Paul stiffened. The anger at his pack had yet to dissipate, and Sam was the worst of the lot.

Y/N’s eyes never strayed from the road, and her ramrod posture made Paul’s back hurt. Paul didn’t know how it was humanly possible, but she looked even less comfortable than he was.

When they passed the spot where Paul had changed her tire several days ago, Paul shrunk in his seat a little. Should he apologize? Would Y/N not appreciate the reminder of what’d been said? Or would this awkward tension in the air remain as it was until he apologized?

Apologize, the wolf sang. Apologize, apologize, apologize.

Paul ignored the chanting as much as he could. Despite what the pack and the elders might think, Paul owed Y/N the same she owed him: nothing. He tried to take a steadying breath, but the air laced with her smell did nothing for his inner turmoil.

One step at a time, Paul told himself. First, defeat the vampire. Then, break the bond.

A sharp melody sounded, startling Paul, and the phone in Y/N’s cupholder started vibrating.

“Can you look at that?” she asked.

Paul squirmed. “Umm…I’d rather not.”

“Oh for goodness sake,” Y/N said with a roll of her eyes, “ look at the caller ID.”

“You look at it,” Paul shot back.

“What is your problem?” she snapped. “I’m busy driving, just pick up the phone.”

“No.”

“Pick. It. Up.”

“No!”

“Now!”

“NO!”

The ringing stopped, and Y/N’s fingers whitened as her grip on the steering wheel increased. “Great, now I missed a call because you wouldn’t just look at the caller ID.”

Paul crossed his arms. “I didn’t want to snoop.” Surely she could appreciate that.

“It’s not snooping if you have my permission.” A muscle in her jaw rippled, and he strongly suspected she was grinding her teeth, adding to the bite in her voice. “Curiosity is the most natural thing in the world. The human race would’ve died out long ago if they hadn’t been curious.”

Her clipped tone provided the spark for Paul’s short fuse. “I’d hardly call respecting your privacy an action that will annihilate the human race.”

“Why can’t you just do what I ask?” Y/N grouched. “What’s so hard about picking up a phone?”

“Exactly, so pick it up yourself.”

“I’m driving.”

Paul threw his hands in the air. “What’s the big deal? There’s hardly anyone else on the road and it would only take you a few seconds!”

“A few seconds is all it takes to get in an accident!” Y/N burst out. Her chest heaved, her body trying to keep up with the rush of blood towards her reddening face.

Paul stared at the angry splotches on her cheeks. Why had she spoken like that? Like it was a confession born of unspeakable events? Admitting to being an uptight driver wasn’t some dark and terrible secret.

Y/N shifted her left leg, and with that small action, it clicked.

“You were in an accident.” Paul shifted so he was facing her. “That’s how you injured your leg.” And that was why she was so militant with seatbelts and not texting while driving.

Y/N grit her teeth, but she repositioned her left leg again.

“How long ago?” Paul asked before he could stop himself.

“Mind your own business,” was the cutting reply.

But while her hostility was usually effective in ending any more questions, it couldn’t stop Paul’s curiosity this time. “How bad was the accident?”

“I said–”

“What kind of injury was it? Did you have surgery? Did you break a bone?”

“–mind your own business!”

Paul studied her. He’d freely admit to anyone that he didn’t know his imprint that well, but if the accident was insignificant, Y/N would’ve admitted it, simply to correct him. The only reason she’d be cagey was if it truly was a horrifying event.

She wasn’t angry.

She was afraid.

His stomach sank.

He’d assumed that Y/N’s cynicism and rigidity had been attitudes gained after a lifelong struggle. But if it was an accident, it could’ve happened recently. Was that why she’d dropped everything and moved across the country? Was she struggling to cope? Jared’s words came back to him. Right now, she doesn’t have anybody but us. How alone was she? And how alone had she been when she’d been in that accident?

The ringtone started up again, interrupting Paul’s whizzing thoughts.

Y/N didn’t say anything. Apparently, her tight lips outweighed her sharp tongue.

Paul reached for the phone. “It says dad.”

If Y/N was grateful to him for finally telling her who it was, she didn’t show it. “Just let it ring. I’ll call him later.”

“Okay.” Paul gingerly set her phone back into the car cup holder.

Y/N didn’t say anything, clearly preferring silence. But Paul’s mind was racing too much to call the atmosphere ‘silent’.

Leading Sam, Emily, and Paul through the Emergency Room entrance was mortifying.

Even at eight months pregnant, Emily was still walking faster than I was. Apparently carrying a baby the size of a coconut still didn’t compare to my limp. The back of my neck felt hot, as if all the staring somehow kept raising my body temperature.

All four of us squeezed into an exam room that was clearly not intended to fit a pregnant woman, her doctor, and two overly protective werewolves.

As soon as Emily got onto the exam table, I pulled over the ultrasound machine, accidentally clipping Paul’s foot with its wheels. “Ouch,” he grumbled. I ignored him, focusing on the Ecovue gel bottle.

“Might be a little cold,” I warned her.

Emily didn’t flinch, her eyes focused on the ultrasound screen that wasn’t displaying anything yet.

When I pressed the ultrasound wand to her stomach, Sam shuffled closer, capturing her hand and lacing it with his. A tiny heartbeat emitted from the monitor, and I glanced up at the virile alpha to see his eyes glistening. Emily smiled widely, squeezing her husband’s hand. “That’s our baby.”

“Hello, baby,” Sam said quietly.

I studied the pair. It wasn’t unusual for ultrasounds to be emotional events, but why was Sam behaving as if–

“I’m sorry,” Sam mumbled, looking down at his wife with guilt deeply etched into his expression. “We haven’t even discussed names.”

Emily reached up a hand to cup his face. “It’s okay. You’re out there saving the world.”

Oh.

Sam hadn’t been to an ultrasound yet.

Feeling awkward, I glanced over at Paul.

Paul was looking anywhere but at Emily’s belly or the monitor. His eyes skimmed the cabinets around us, the art intended to be comforting, and even the jars of alcohol pads and tongue depressors. If it wasn’t somewhat inappropriate to laugh during such a sweet moment between a husband and wife, I would’ve.

I froze the screen before withdrawing the wand and cleaning it up. “Your due date’s in a month.”

Emily tore her eyes away from Sam. “There’s a midwife in La Push that agreed to work with me.” Clearly she remembered what I’d told her at the last ultrasound.

“You’re having the baby at home then?”

“Yes,” Emily said, sounding extremely confident while Sam looked anything but.

“Honey, are you sure that’s wise?” Sam glanced at the frozen screen. “What if something goes wrong?”

“That’s what the midwife is there for.”

“Still, I’d feel better if we came here.”

Sensing an argument brewing, I got to my feet, wiping away the gel on Emily’s stomach. “I might very well still be sleeping on your couch when you go into labor, so if it makes you feel more confident, I can be there for the birth.”

Sam eyed me, and I knew what he wanted to ask.

“I’m an MD. I’m only a month short of having completed an obstetrics residency. Between the midwife and I, your wife will be just fine.”

Emily clapped her hands. “Perfect. There’s the plan.” She tried to sit up, and Sam immediately helped her before she could fall back again. “Now I’d like to go home.” She awkwardly slid off the exam table before making her way to the door.

I busied myself with resetting the ultrasound machine.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam follow Emily, stopping in front of Paul.

“You’ve got her?” he asked quietly. Was that remorse on the alpha’s face?

“Yeah.” Paul’s equally soft response spoke of dark promises.

The exam door opened and closed before I realized which ‘her’ they were talking about. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I decided to say nothing as I led Paul out of the ER.

I expected him to trail somewhere behind me or in front of me, but instead, he kept time with my labored pace. Somehow, that annoyed me more than if he’d gone ahead or behind me.

He reached the elevator before I did, but instead of pushing the button, he shoved his hands in his pockets. I sent him a suspicious look.

What was with the sudden gentleman act?

I pushed the button, and the doors dinged as they opened. Paul and I walked inside, and I selected the button for the second floor.

“Hold the door!”

Paul stuck his hand through the rapidly disappearing entrance, and the doors slid open, revealing none other than Carlisle Cullen.

He came to an abrupt stop. If vampires had any blood in their body, all of Carlisle’s would’ve drained from his face just then. Was this reaction due to seeing me?

Then the lift started to shake, creaking and groaning.

I turned to ask Paul if Forks often got earthquakes when I saw that his whole body was convulsing, and he was staring daggers at the doctor.

Carlisle fell back a step. “I’ll take the next one.”

Paul’s glare didn’t lessen, even as the doors closed, shielding the vampire from view. The floor of the elevator continued to tremble underneath my feet.

“Paul?” I asked warily.

The shuddering didn’t cease.

“Paul?!”

His eyes remained on the elevator doors. Was he having some sort of seizure? I set a hand on Paul’s shoulder, shaking him to get his attention. “Paul!”

Paul blinked, trance seemingly broken. Then his attention shifted to my hand, still resting on his shoulder.

I withdrew it. “What was that?”

“The wolf,” Paul grumbled, his hands reaching up to fiddle with his stubby braid. “Neither of us are very happy with that bloodsucker right now.”

I couldn’t argue with that, so I led Paul to my office. “Wait here,” I told him before limping to the nearest med supply closet.

Paul, of course, didn’t comply.

I rolled my eyes. “I told you–”

“I can’t protect you if I’m not with you.” Paul folded his arms imposingly for emphasis, and I tried to ignore the muscle bulging off his arms.

“You’re not authorized to be in the supply closet.”

Paul shrugged. “Neither is the vampire. I doubt authorization matters much to him.”

My fingers itched to push him back to my office. With great effort, I continued towards the closet. The faster the blood was drawn, the sooner we could leave and the sooner we didn’t have to be around each other.

Alcohol wipes.

Medical tape.

Gloves.

I quickly realized I wouldn’t be able to carry all the supplies I needed with one arm. Without looking away from the labeled bins, I handed the box of gloves to him, half expecting to hear it thudding against the floor. But no such noise sounded. I handed the alcohol wipes to him, and he took them without comment.

Tourniquet.

Gauze.

Empty blood bags.

“Two?” Paul blurted out.

I quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

Paul shifted, and the box of gloves fell out of his grip. He tried to catch it, but failed. We both crouched at the same time, our hands brushing as we reached for the box. I expected him to jerk his hand away like he always did upon physical contact with me, but he didn’t. He picked up the box like nothing had happened.

Well, not nothing.

There was a peculiar and unsettling contusion in his face. He looked…concerned?

I made to brush past him, but he sidled into my path with such severity, it nearly made me lose my balance. “Two bags seems like a lot.”

“Paul–”

“How much of your blood is two bags?”

“It’s not a big deal.” I tried to walk around, but Paul planted himself directly in front of the door.

“How much?” Paul pressed.

“It’s two pints of blood.” I made another attempt to leave, but Paul threw a hand into my path, somehow balancing all the supplies in one arm.

“How many pints of blood do you have total?”

“About ten.”

Paul’s jaw went slack. “You want to draw a fifth of the blood in your whole body?”

“The more blood used for the trap, “ I explained as patiently as I could muster, “the more likely it’s going to work.”

Paul was shaking his head long before I finished speaking. “Absolutely not. Losing that much blood is not good for you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, have you been to med school? If you had, you would know that blood loss is traumatic at 30 to 40%. Clearly I’m not planning on getting to that point.” Paul didn’t budge, and my patience frayed. “Oh for the love of–what do you want from me?” I nearly shouted at him.

“I want you to stick to one bag.”

I folded my arms. “Not your decision to make.”

Paul opened his arms, all the materials crumbling to the floor as he set his hands on his hips. “If you try to do more than one, cinnamon sugar, I’ll haul you over my shoulder and carry you out of here. So please just stick with one.”

“You’re threatening me?”

“I said ‘please’.”

I rolled my eyes. “So you’re nicely threatening me?” His only response was to smile proudly. My frustration reared its head, and I quickly tamed it. “Look, we should get started. We can argue about the number of bags later.”

Paul was already shaking his head. “Oh, no, no, no, no, you don’t get to dodge this–”

“The longer we stand here, not getting any of my blood,” I said with as much composure as possible when talking to a headstrong werewolf, “the longer we stay here, away from the pack and exposed to danger.”

After a moment, Paul nodded and bent down to regather the supplies.

As we walked back to my office, I realized it hadn’t even occurred to me to lie to Paul. If I’d said it was 20 or even 10%, we wouldn’t have had to compromise. So why hadn’t I just said that?

I shoved the question away with all my might. It was time to focus.

I prepared all the supplies for the blood draw, and Paul stood, his hands in his pockets as he glanced around at my office. “I need your help,” I told Paul. He stayed where he was, warily watching me. “I can’t wrap a tourniquet around my own arm.”

“I…” Paul scrunched his nose. “I don’t know how.”

I opened my mouth to say something snarky, but then he glanced around the office again. The airs of arrogance that normally pooled around him had gone.

He’s embarrassed, I realized with no small amount of shock. I wanted to laugh at the idea of this massive, arrogant man being embarrassed about anything whatsoever.

A small part of me whispered that if I wanted to make him feel the way I felt by the side of that road, I had an opening. I could bring him to his knees.

But for some reason, I couldn’t make myself do it.

What was happening to me? Was I losing my edge?

It was Sam and Emily’s fault for being so loving and adoring to each other, it’d softened me up.

“I’ll show you what to do,” I said, my aggravation bleeding through.

Paul reluctantly came closer. His warm fingers brushed my upper arm as he followed my instructions, tying the tourniquet in the exact place it was supposed to be. “What’s the tourniquet got to do with drawing blood?” he asked.

“It dilates the veins, making them easier to access.” I pressed the tip of my middle finger to the inside of my arm, trying to locate my antecubital fossa.

One of the most random things I’d learned in my medical career is how bouncy veins were to the touch, especially when a tourniquet was on. Veins were thinner, had lower blood pressure, and held more blood than arteries. Veins were also closer to the surface of the skin.

I finally located the vein and lifted up the needle.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re going to stick a needle in yourself?” Paul looked rather green all of the sudden. “That needle looks big, why does it look so big?”

“I didn’t think you’d be so squeamish,” I replied. My arm was starting to tingle a little bit, letting me know the tourniquet had already been on for quite a while.

Paul stiffened. “I’m not squeamish.”

“Then get back over here and help me.”

“Help you?” Paul’s shrill voice filled the office. “Help you with what?”

“I need you to hold the skin tight so the vein doesn’t roll as I try to get it with the needle.”

Paul took a nervous step back, his arms posed in front of his body like he was in a boxing ring. “Why can’t Dr. Cullen do it?”

“Oh, now you trust him?” I scoffed. Why would Paul suddenly swivel to the opposite side of the emotional spectrum when it came to the doctor?

“No, I don’t trust him,” Paul declared. “It’s just that…he’s probably more qualified to do this than I am.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell you exactly what to do.” When Paul didn’t move, I tried to adapt a more comforting tone. “Look, all you have to do is hold the skin tight. You don’t have to watch me stick the needle in or anything. It’ll be easy.”

“Easy?” Paul repeated sarcastically. “Nothing about sticking a needle in your body should be easy.”

The tingling in my arm increased. “Will you just sit down and help?” I swallowed hard, annoyed with having to beg, but having no other choice. “Please?”

Paul slowly lumbered over to the other chair and lowered himself into it. It took a great deal of instruction, but eventually, Paul correctly held the skin taut as I held the needle, hovering just above the vein.

“One,” I said softly to myself, making sure my grip on the needle was relaxed, but firm. “Two.” I took a deep breath, looking up to see Paul’s face turned far away from my arm. “Three!”

The needle went in painlessly enough, but there was no blood flow. “Crap,” I muttered.

Paul shifted slightly. “What?”

“I missed it.”

“Missed what?”

“The vein.”

Paul’s head whipped around with so much force, the motion probably could’ve powered the hospital. “What?!” His eyes fell upon the needle in my arm. “Oh my gosh.” He clamped a hand over his face, blocking his vision.

“I need you to hold the needle for me.”

Paul’s hand flew away from his eyes, and he blinked at me. “Oh, hell no.”

“Either you hold it or I just let it go, and I’m sure I don’t have to explain how dangerous it is to just leave the needle half in, half out of my body.” Paul gulped as I guided his hand to the needle, my fingers showing him how to hold it properly. As soon as I let go, Paul muttered something in a different language, staring at the wall behind my head.

“Give me…a second.” I felt around the needle with my free fingers, scouting out the skin for the familiar buoyant feel indicative of a vein.

“Just tell me when it’s over,” Paul said, shutting his eyes.

Again, the urge to laugh nearly overwhelmed me. I paused in my search, looking at his face. It occurred to me that I hadn’t really actually ever studied his face. Hot was too crude a word, and handsome was too virtuous of one. He truly lay somewhere in between, forever resting in an area as gray as his fur. If I leaned forward, I’d be close enough to kiss him.

That observation shook me out of my reverie, and I refocused, finding the vein and taking the needle from Paul to redirect it towards the vein. My effort was rewarded as blood started flowing through the tube and into the first bag.

“I’m done,” I told Paul as I ripped a piece of medical tape with my teeth and secured the needle.

Paul opened his eyes, took one look at the needle in my arm, and closed his eyes again.

I couldn’t stop my laugh. “If I’d known that shoving a needle into my arm was the way to shut you up, I would’ve done it ages ago.”

“Okay, calm down there, sugar.”

“Why do you call me that?” The question was out before I realized curiosity was the thing fluttering in my chest.

Paul cracked his eyes open, his attention centering on my face instead of my arm. “No reason.” His tone was breezy enough, but a faint blush started on his cheeks, magnifying my interest.

“Oh, there’s definitely a reason. And since I’m the one with a needle in my arm, I think I deserve to know.”

“Hey look, the bag’s a quarter full already,” Paul said in a poor attempt to distract me.

I checked to make sure the tape was still secure. “You’ll have to get the next bag ready.”

Paul’s head jerked up. “We’re not doing another bag.”

“It’s–”

“It’s your blood, and you have a medical degree, and you’re stubborn, but that’s still not enough to convince me,” Paul replied. “I’ll yank that needle out if I have to.” He reached out, like he was preparing to take it out right then.

I sat back in my chair, feeling slightly woozy. “You could do that, but you could do it improperly and give me a hematoma. Or even cause me to lose more blood.”

Paul froze. “I could hurt you?”

For all my knowledge, I couldn’t quite discern the meaning of his tone. Was he concerned again? Or was he still feeling squeamish?

And why did I care?

“Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal.” Intrigue shone in Paul’s eyes as he gestured for me to go on. “We’ll stop at one bag if you tell me why you call me ‘cinnamon sugar’.”

Paul sat back in his chair, folding his arms. “This is extortion.”

“What can I say?” I said with a casual shrug. “I get what I want.”

“Do you?” Paul mused.

“Yes.”

“Everything?”

“Yes.”

“Always?”

I hesitated for a moment. “Yes.”

Paul scratched his chin thoughtfully. “No deal.”

I blinked. “No deal? Why not?”

“Well, you did say you always get everything you want.”

“So now you’re trying to spite me by withholding information?”

“Possibly.” Paul leaned closer to me, a smirk toying with his lips. “Or maybe I just want to see what lengths you’ll go to in order to get the answer.”

Something in my chest danced, curiously rising to skim the surface of his brown eyes. “You just love making things difficult.”

Paul scoffed. “That’s all you, sugar.” He reached out to fiddle with the blood bag. “That’s…” He looked two seconds from hurling. “That’s a lot of blood.”

“We should get ready to hook up the second bag.”

Paul made a noise of disbelief. “We’ve gone over this. We’re not doing a second bag.”

“Unless you want to ‘fess up, yes, we are.” I reached over to my desk where the second bag lay, intending to prepare it, but Paul snatched it up.

“No, we’re not.”

I made another pass at the bag, but my reaction time was so sluggish, Paul easily lifted the bag above his head before I got anywhere near it. Not one to be outdone, I stood up, stretching out my hand for the bag.

I’d underestimated the effect of blood loss.

I swayed, my center of balance shifting over to my left side, and my bad knee buckled. I nearly lurched forward, only just leaning back to allow myself to fall back into my chair instead of forward onto the floor.

My heart thundered in my chest, and I knew I couldn’t blame it on having less blood to pump through my body.

Falling.

I’d done it often when my knee first sustained its injury. After the accident and surgery, I’d spent hours doing physical therapy, doing everything I possibly could to restrengthen the muscles around my knee. Unfortunately, knee injuries involved muscles, bones, and ligaments. The complexity of the joint fed into the complexity of injuries to that joint.

The bleakness of my prognosis wasn’t something to face, it was something to avoid. Transitioning to a vampire was the only way to fully avoid it.

“We’re doing two bags,” I said stubbornly. “This trap has to work.”

Paul kneeled down, setting the blood bag on the floor. “Stop at one bag.”

“No.” I shook my head and regretted it as my world spun. “We need two.”

Paul got to his feet, resting a hand on each armrest of my chair, trapping me into it. He opened his mouth to speak and shut it again, eyes dropping to the blood bag. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Counteroffer. We do two bags, and you tell me about your accident.”

My heart tripped, falling headfirst into a hasty pace.

Brown eyes dipped to my chest all the sudden, and I remembered the comment Paul’d made about being able to hear my heartbeat.

I didn’t want to give him answers.

Couldn’t give him answers.

“No deal.” I pushed at his shoulders, shoving him away from me.

Paul stepped back, folding his arms. “Since I know you’re used to winning, I’m not sure you know what happens when two people reach an impasse.” I opened my mouth, and Paul held up a finger. “They compromise.”

“Compromise?” I laughed.

Paul didn’t. “Compromise. It’s the basis of every relationship.”

“You’re just saying that because you want me to agree. If I say honesty is at the basis of every relationship, would you tell me why you call me ‘cinnamon sugar’?”

Paul sighed, rubbing his forehead. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Do I strike you as someone who lets things go?” He paused, slowly raising his head to look at me, a sudden sadness in his eyes. I shot him a confused look. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m sorry.”

I sat back in my chair, hardly believing my ears. Did he just…? “What are you apologizing for?”

“For what I said by the side of the road.”

His words rebounded again, as unbidden as every other time they’d replayed in my head.

Wanting to be rid of you has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with you!

My worst fear, that something really was wrong with me, confirmed by my ‘soulmate’ himself.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Paul wrinkled his nose. “It does. I don’t have a problem with your…” He gestured towards my knee brace.

Discomfort rustled its wings. “Like I said, it doesn’t–”

“Yes, it does,” Paul said firmly. “I was frustrated, and I said things I didn't mean.”

“I don’t really–”

“I think you’re a very capable person.”

As compliments always did, his words made me want to cringe, to retract my turtle head back into my turtle shell and avoid uncomfortable things until they were long gone. “Can we drop this?” I asked, fiddling with the needle so I didn’t have to look at Paul.

But Paul was on a roll. “I mean, you can’t change a tire, but I can’t stick a needle in someone to get blood and whatever else you doctors do, so it all works out.”

Warmth blossomed in my cheeks like a mellow fever. “It’s not a big deal.”

“And I know I said I wanted to be rid of you, but it’s the imprint bond I don’t like.” My desk creaked as Paul sat precariously on its edge. “I could’ve imprinted on anybody else, and it wouldn’t’ve made a difference.”

I abandoned the needle, looking up at Paul.

“I mean it,” he said, correctly decoding my expression.

“Whatever,” I muttered. I started to cross my legs, but my good knee bonked against the metal of my brace, so I gave up.

“Am I forgiven?”

“Paul–” I began to say, more than ready to move on to anything else.

“Am I forgiven?” he said louder.

“Yes, you’re forgiven!” I snapped, focusing on the irritation at his persistence instead of whatever other feelings were rising in my stomach. “Now will you just attach the second bag?” Paul raised an eyebrow, and I rolled my eyes. Really, I couldn’t blame him for his skepticism, but did he have to be so thorough in his doubt? “I’m not going to do a full bag, I’ll only do half.”

Paul cocked his head. “Compromising, are we?”

“Annoying, are we?” I parroted back.

No reply came. Paul’s eyes narrowed, traveling over my face with a sort of hypervigilance. I suddenly felt sorry for the creatures in biology that I’d studied under a microscope. Is this what it felt like to be measured and weighed? To have one’s behavior scrutinized and written about in a scientific report?

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Looking.”

“Stop it.”

The corner of Paul’s mouth turned up. “Is it illegal to look?”

“It should be,” I grumbled. “Especially when you should be hooking up the second bag.”

Paul didn’t move, still inattentive to my words in favor of inspecting my face. Had he gone deaf? What could possibly have him paying such close attention, and with such a dreamy look in his eyes?

“You’re still doing it.”

With a start, Paul finally got up, picking up the second bag and crouching to tie off the first one. “Sorry,” he grunted. “The wolf had things to say.”

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thegrimreaperisanerd · 22 days

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hii i have a maybe somewhat difficult question:

how do you go about writing all of the police/detective stuff? I have no knowledge at all about that except having played the game a few times and watching bbc sherlock back when that was a thing.

I have so many cool kimharry things in my mind that i need to get on paper but i don't know how to involve all the cop stuff in a natural way because i don't know anything about it and don't want it to be too wildly incorrect.

so yeah.. how do you even learn the things for this?

thank you so much i love your work

Quite a difficult question I won't lie...... But I've answered at length so it's going under a readmore

This isn't my favourite thing to discuss online as it can trigger my psychosis, but I have an actual dismaying amount of experience with cops. I don't want to talk about it but... Bit like Cuno I suppose. Good ending for that kid is doing public services training ages 14 - 16, and going "oh this is shit actually" once he's got an out from his abusive parent, then working at a restaurant

I quite literally cannot go into detail - so don't ask because I WILL delete this post - but an ex military police officer told us a "funny story" about a "prank" he played on some kids in an occupied location during the late 80s that I recognised as psychological torture, but made my peers laugh. So I decided to become a faggot and poet instead.

~NOW FOR THE FUN ADVICE THAT IS ACTUALLY OF USE TO YOU!

Research:

Honestly, the amount of time I spend looking up stuff for writing is probably more than the time I spend writing. The internet's being fucked by SEO but it's a start. Like... There's plenty of info out there written on the police and their role in systematic oppression, I'm pretty sure there's free PDFs floating around on Tumblr actually...

If it's more "day in the life" I honestly don't know. Maybe reddit or if there's one of those "Ex-[blank} reviews [blank] in movies" videos on Youtube for cops, but obviously take everything said with a pinch of salt.

FAYDE:

Fayde is the best tool at your disposal. We bully Kim a lot for his dedication to the RCM but that makes finding out info pretty easy. EDC too! I've never played with high EDC so just typing in key words (especially names of other officers to try and get character info) and scrolling through is helpful.

Good keywords are "precinct", "RCM", "Militicia" as they'll bring up opinions/ info from other characters.

The RCM is not a traditional police force:

I would worry less about accuracy and more about being interesting. It doesn't need to be a perfect representation of police work since the canon makes a point of there being a distinction in the powers and roles of the RCM. Go listen to the collapsing tenement cut content. You don't need to write about them filling in forms if it's not relevant. It'll show in your writing if you're unsure/ bored.

Make them worse:

If you're going to write one of the officers doing something shitty (yes, that includes Kim and Harry) but worry that you've gone too far then I promise you haven't. Dickheads are drawn to positions of power and the impunity it gives them. There's a reason I wrote one of the 57's officers as a groomer.

Make them less competent:

Don't trust the police, but also don't expect anything of them.

As recently as Monday I had to call for the fire brigade because a lit (thankfully poorly made) petrol bomb had been left under a neighbour's car (I live an irritatingly interesting life for somebody who lives in the middle of fucking nowhere) nobody was harmed. Cop came to find me afterwards to get an interview from me since I'd spotted it and he told me, I kid you not, "Yeah, we're not gonna do anything unless anything else happens." Like, I expected as much but I wasn't expecting him to up and fucking say that. You're welcome for 85% of my council tax, you fucking moron.

Harry's a special case because he's, like, psychic and got "maybe if I solve *THIS* one my wife will let me sleep in the big bed" disorder, and nobody wants to read a case fic that they... don't solve (or do they..? *winks*) But if you care about realism you need dick-in-hand dipshits. Another favourite quote of mine from an officer two years back; "Is 'right wing' the good one or the bad one?" So the advice here is you're writing a cop well if you're reading it and thinking: holy shit please just go work at a TESCOs instead.

Don't worry so much:

You should write, first and foremost, for yourself. I like detective fiction, I have wasted an unfortunate amount of my life dealing with police due to my job and shit childhood. (I did originally write far more about this, but frankly it's better for myself if I don't bother. That's why it's taken me five days to answer this)

I've read/ watched a lot of detective fiction and I'm always more drawn to stuff that is less based in police work. Private investigators, investigative journalists, kid detectives like Nancy Drew, ect.

In particular my favourite book, perhaps of all time, is called Hideaway by Dean Koontz and is two fathers (one: the killer's father - a talented doctor who brought his shithead son back to life - and another, the doctor's most recent patient to be brought back from the brink who has developed a psychic link with the killer as a result) trying to stop him, but never actually meeting! It's one hell of a read if you need inspo.

Val McDermott is a good author for crime writing with less police input, too. She has a book called Killing The Shadows which is excellent. The Killer's motive is taking out crime writers who've romanticised psychological profilers after he was wrongly convicted. Fair enough! Until he starts... Killing about it? Sort of defeats the message... Anyway, what's fun about this book is that before each crime writer is killed (in the same way they wrote THEIR killers killing!! Love that) you get to read the first chapter of each writer's most famous work. So you are essentially getting six crime books in one (first chapter of at least) ...Also the main character's husband is a crime writer called Kit, which I've only remembered just double checking the book name now. Lol???

...This is just turning into me recommending books.

TLDR: write what you know, write what is fun, ACAB, don't even worry about it

#Hope this helps #I'm not upset about being messaged about this by the way i hope it doesn't come off like that #DUCKLINGS THAT DROWN #Imprinting #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 5 months

Text

Wildest dreams pt. 31

Summary: Learning how to cope with loss and move on is never easy.

Warnings: angst, sexual innuendos, swearing, GRAPHIC depictions of death and blood

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

————————————

The world is bleak. It doesn’t seem so, she knows it is. Everyone around her wants to speed through the grief she’s struggling with, trying to keep her busy with pesky tasks she gives no fuck about. Waking up in the morning makes her nauseous, getting out of bed is a chore she often attempts to skip out on.

Paul doesn’t allow it. It’s nothing he does or says, it’s the look in his eye that makes her heart ache worse than it already does.

The worry in those chocolate brown hues is a gut punch she can’t escape and for some unfathomable reason, she resents him for it. She resents the love he touches her with, the kindness in his words, the way he treats her as if she’s a fragile Christmas ornament when all she wants is for him to grab her, to kiss her hard enough for the numbness to recede and give way to something, anything palpable that would make her feel alive. She wants him to stop time, to make the world stop spinning so fast outside the bay window he built for her – to make it all easier to carry on her shoulders. It’s unfair, she’s painfully aware of how unfair it is, but watching the snow falling where her father bled out is unnerving. The scenery changes forcibly as if she could ever forget the sound of gurgling as he choked on his own blood, unable to breathe no matter how hard she tried to clear his airway…but there was nothing to clear – his throat was ripped in a way she would have failed even if they were in an operating room with a skilled team by her side.

Paul places her favorite tea beside her, pressing a gentle kiss on her left temple as she stares ahead at the trees.

Perhaps something or someone could be staring back at her right now and she’d be none the wiser. It’s the beauty of being human, some would say. Ignorance is bliss. Not if you ask Y/N. The worst part of being human when your loved ones are threatened is the helplessness when faced with danger. No one can make that feeling of uselessness fade.

Is this how Paul felt when he believed she’d meet the fate her father did? He’s a wolf unable to protect his imprint, after all, he must have felt this way. Maybe he still feels it. She’s seen the shame in his eyes, he’s blaming himself for the way it all turned out, but he must be secretly content she’s not the Y/L/N he had to bury. Well, she can’t blame him for it. If her father had the choice in the matter, he’d have chosen it to be him over her and she hates it. Everyone would have made the choice that placed her in this position without any regard for how it would affect her.

She takes comfort in delusions of her mother being there, guiding her father through the afterlife. Part of her always struggled to trust there’s anything after death, but if she cannot imagine it now, she might as well perish. No. There has to be something more. The human soul is comprised of things no science has been able to explain…twenty-one grams no one can account for. It can’t be a coincidence. His soul is with her mother’s and they’re finally together. If there’s anything she’s certain, is that her father suffered terribly after her mother passed, but he showed up for Y/N every minute of every day. Even when she left for so many years, he didn’t move out of the home they made, choosing to see all the pieces of her mother left in every inch of that house. Despite the solace it brought him, Y/N imagines it caused as much torment. Yet, he stayed. It was his wish to die in his home, in their bed with the lingering scent of her mother’s favorite flower that he kept alive for all these years that withered in the first week of his passing. Instead, he got to die in the dirt with the taste of his own blood on his tongue.

Worst part of it all?

They never caught the ones who’ve done it.

Carlisle and Edward went furthest out, following the monster all across several state lines before losing their scent. It was a vampire, they told her. That much they were certain of, but that’s not what she wondered. Y/N knew it was a vampire, she remembered the pale-skinned creature staring at her with burgundy red eyes and a smirk on lips that had her father’s blood dripping from it. It was a short encounter, not nearly enough to be certain she’d pick the thing out of a lineup, but it’s still in the back of her mind, stuck on a loop she can’t seem to pause or erase.

“You need to eat”, Paul sits beside her, a plate in his hands.

Swallowing thickly, she forces herself to glance at the content. Meat and vegetables, she’s not sure what kind of meat but the smell is sickening.

“Please”, his voice is softer than ever before, fear of change he sees in her overwhelming him.

“Why not eat at the table?” Her lips spread in a small smile she could tell he saw through. “Together”, she adds. “I’ve missed it.” Reaching out for his hand, she can feel him shake as her fingertips graze his skin. “I miss us”, she admits quietly.

“I’m right here”, Paul reminds her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

But she isn’t. She hasn’t been there for months. Going to work is the only time she feels herself, with her hands doing something worth the effort. At home, her mind shuts down as her heart’s been long disconnected from feelings. Trying to feel love also brings an onslaught of pain, so she’s decided not to feel at all. Nothing is better than drowning in the restless waters of grief, isn’t it?

The look in Paul’s eyes tells her it’s not. It screams for her to stop being selfish and to feel everything she’s been trying not to or he will lose himself, left on the outside of the ice court her heart built.

“I know”, she looks down at her hand on his, her chest hurting with how foreign the feeling’s become. She forgot how warm he was, how rough his skin felt at the beginning of their relationship. It’s taken her so long to soften his hands, to convince him that using hand cream isn’t going to cause the end of the world. He’s been less than diligent with it now, it’s obvious.

Taking the plate from him, she heads to the kitchen. He’s already set his side of the table. Paul didn’t even consider she might choose to join him for dinner. Why would he? She hasn’t done so for too long.

Rubbing her palm over the exposed skin of her chest, she ignores the stinging the realization brings. She’s been gone, alive but dead and Paul’s fear of losing her has come true. Passing beside her, he quickly pulls out her chair, a hopeful glee in his eye. Her bottom lip quivers as her hands begin to tremble. Gripping the plate tighter, her entire body is shaking. Y/N’s jaw clenches, her eyes focused on Paul.

“Y/N”, he steps closer. “Breathe,” he instructs calmly as his hands touch the plate. Her eyes fill with tears, but she sees him clearly – the confusion and concern swirling in the eyes that once looked at her with inexplicable amounts of adoration and admiration. “I need you to breathe”, he repeats and she manages a faint nod as he takes the plate from her, placing it on the counter.

“I’m going to put my hands around you now,” he warns as he opens his arms for her. “Please, don’t be scared”, he says quietly.

Is that what he thinks this is? That she’s somehow scared of him? That she’s reacting to him?

God, she hopes it’s not what’s going through his head right now.

It’s her, not him. It really is.

The warmth of his arms wrapping around her takes her by surprise and she can’t help but shudder. It’s as if she’s been under ice this entire time, accustomed to winter that rages outside, but now summer’s melting the icicles and sunshine is breaking through the fog and clouds. Closing her eyes, she allows her body to relax, unaware her legs will give out when she does. Lucky for her, Paul’s been prepared, holding her up in an embrace filled with endless compassion and understanding she doesn’t deserve. Paul’s always put her first, and she’s consistently blind to him and his needs. And he needs her. He desperately aches for her to show any inkling of love he prays still exists, but he never once demanded it be given to him. As her legs become stronger, slowly helping Paul keep her upright, her hands rest at his sides, closing around the cotton material his green shirt is comprised of. Soon enough, she’s clutching to him, as if he’s the breath of life she’s been seeking in every corner of this damned world. And he’s more than willing to share it, to fill her lungs with oxygen they’ve been deprived of. As her arms spread out around him and her hands meet just below his shoulder blades, Y/N pulls her head back until her eyes meet his.

“I love you”, she breathes out. “I’m a fucking mess and I don’t know anything other than the way I feel about you. And that’s love. I don’t say it enough.”

“You don’t”, Paul cups her left cheek. “But that’s okay. Sometimes life is shit and there’s not much I can do about it other than be there for you. I hope I’m doing it right, Y/N, because I really have no clue what to say to you most of the time and I’m sorry for that. I wish I could fix it and make it go away, but I can’t-“

“You’re doing better than you think.” Looking around, as much as she can without breaking away from him, she smiles – genuinely this time, perhaps the first time since their almost wedding. “You kept the house clean, you’ve gotten me out of bed every single day and I know that’s not easy.” Pausing, she licks her lips as her eyes close for a moment. “Loving me has not been easy. And it won’t be for a while.” Looking back up at him, she notes the slight wrinkles between his eyebrows as they furrow. “I just want you to know I see it – all of it. And I appreciate you. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Paul insists. “I wish I could do more. I need to do more.”

“Kiss me, then.”

“What?”

Raising her eyebrows, her expression softens. “Kiss me. Like you mean it. Like you did when I first let you be this close to me.”

“I always kiss you like I mean it”, Paul grumbles.

Shaking her head, she frowns lightly. “Every time you kiss me, it feels like you’re afraid to touch me. Paul, I’m not a porcelain doll. You can still throw me up against a wall and kiss me like you’re starving and I’m the last blueberry muffin left! Like you-”

Y/N didn’t get to finish her sentence, finding herself moving to the left and her breath knocked out of her as Paul pushed her against the wall with more ferocity than she expected. She would gasp for breath, but his lips had claimed her faster than she could comprehend. And there it is – the breath of life she’s been asking for. It feels more than a kiss, rather resuscitation. His lips are soft, softer than his words and promises of love, she could be so happily mesmerized by them for all the days heaven grants her. God, he’s warm. He’s so warm and his hands so curious and something is tickling her chin but she can’t focus on anything other than the way his hand grips her left hip. It’s like he’s getting to know her all over again, feeling the way her curves have melted with the way she’s been skipping meals. Does he miss those curves? Does he miss who she used to be?

As Paul’s lips release her, she inhales deeply as he moves down to her jaw. His pine scent floods her senses – it’s intoxicating. The slightest touch or glance used to be enough for her soul to quake and thunder, perhaps it’s why she kept him away for so long. She needed to pause life, to let her weary soul rest before allowing him to set her back on fire. With Paul’s lips on her neck, every fiber of her soul is brought to a state of aliveness, finally capable of feeling lust and passion and love, true love – the kind that lasts through every natural disaster.

Running his hands up her bare arms, he sends a jolt of electricity she needs to jump-start her heart. His kisses rob her of breath, forcing her to consciously have to remind herself to breathe, drowning in his need and desire for her that she can’t help but laugh, startling him.

With his lips parted, he looks at her with confusion, an inkling of fear she ignited with the sudden sound he almost forgot.

“I missed that”, he’s breathless as he speaks and she can’t help but laugh at his disheveled looks. His neat bun is barely contained as her relentless attempts to run her hands through left it looking like a battlefield. It’s gotten so long, and he has a beard? It's the first time he's actually let it grow for more than a few days. She'd estimate it's been a solid three weeks since he shaved if not more – is that what tickled her chin when he first kissed her? She’s barely noticed it, only making her feel guiltier. Pulling at his bun, she lets his hair flow freely, watching as it reaches his shoulders with amazement in her eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” she whispers fearfully. Will he realize how blind she’s been to him? Does he know the depth of it? She hopes he hasn’t felt it, not to the full extent she’s realizing now. Things have to change, she can’t excuse her willful ignorance anymore. Paul deserves better than he received.

With a soft smile, Paul sniffles. “Jared says I look like I’ve forgotten what scissors and razor blades are.”

“Well, Jared might want to run for the hills next time he sees me,” Y/N grumbles, but so does her stomach. She’s genuinely hungry – a first, like many things this evening.

Pecking her cheek, Paul steps away, but his left arm remains wrapped around her. As long as she allows it, he will not let her go unless absolutely necessary. “Your chair, my lady”, he smirks.

“Why, thank you, kind sir.”

They ate dinner, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It felt almost normal. The next day, they shared breakfast, but the rest of the day Y/N’s mood darkened again. Paul watched her slip away from him once more as the lunch turned cold and when she left for the night shift, he didn’t eat dinner at all.

In the morning, Paul woke up to the sound of her footsteps. He listened as her bag hit the floor, and he certainly heard the shower running as he remained in bed, back turned to the door. Almost asleep on his back, he had to stop himself from jumping out of his skin as she decides to lay on top of him, nuzzling her cold nose in his neck. Even if he needed to get up and relieve himself from the sudden torture his bladder imposed, Paul refused to consider it. She’s here, she’s the one initiating contact, and he will not be the one to end it.

This became their new normal. Some days are better than others, but she makes an active effort to open up and share her mind and body with him, something Paul didn’t push her on. It feels crucial to allow her the freedom to choose for herself when she’s ready and he eagerly waits for every crumb she gives him.

“Her birthday is coming up”, Embry exclaims. “We can’t not celebrate it!”

“I don’t think she’ll be up to it”, Paul frowns.

“We barely see her”, Jacob complains. “I miss her.”

“We all do”, Emily adds. “But if Paul thinks-“

“If we listen to Paul, we’ll never see her again”, Daisy grimaces. “She’s my best friend and I’ve seen her a total of five times in almost three months. Birthday or not, I’m coming over and if she wants to kick me out, so be it!”

“I don’t think we should push her,” Jared states, seemingly the only rational one.

“You’re saying that because you’re ashamed to even look her in the eye,” Jacob points an accusatory finger, “and you know it!”

Lowering his gaze, Jared swallows thickly as silence fills the air.

“That’s not fair”, Sam is the first to speak up. “There were more than enough of us willing to shift so others didn’t have to.”

Snorting in disbelief, Embry raises his eyebrows. “Because that’s what you do when your family is under attack? We don’t cower and hide.”

“That’s enough”, Sam orders.

“Embry’s right. If it were Kim, he’d expect us to help him. Yet he’s not willing to do the same,” Quil crosses his arms. “He watched Y/N cradle her father’s corpse and didn’t even consider joining the rest of us.”

“I promised Kim”, Jared tries, but Embry is quicker.

“We all made promises, but that’s under normal circumstances, and backing out in a moment where we needed to be a united front was a shit move. Don’t justify it by taking Kim’s name in your mouth or your children’s names. Sam has kids too, but he shifted for the first time in five years to guide the pack. We were all five years in, hell I finally saw my first marks of aging EVER and I ended that streak to help my best friend and to protect my imprint from anything like that happening to her. That’s what I was thinking when I broke my streak.”

Getting up, Jared didn’t bother arguing. He walked out the door without looking back. Nodding faintly in Embry’s direction, Paul hopes he understands it’s in gratitude. If he’s completely honest with himself, Paul’s been wanting to say all of that and more to his best friend’s face, but he’s had no energy for arguments. If it were Kim, Paul would have done anything to help Jared. If it were any of them, he’d have shifted without a second thought. Many of the pack members did just that – even if they had wives and children. Every one of them struggles now. A shapeshifter doesn’t stop shifting so easily – it’s like an addiction. The anger they’ve laid to rest has resurfaced, the need for a fix of freedom shifting supplies is worse than any drug. It’s difficult to ‘retire’ a shapeshifter, especially when they’ve been dormant for a while. Consuming is how Paul would describe it – all you want to do is shift and run, to ignore the ache your heart can’t seem to shake. All his brothers are now suffering as he’s suffered every moment since that first shift occurred. Every fiber of his being covets the feeling of grass under his paws, the smell of the forest filling his nostrils as he rushes between the trees, an apex predator on top of the food chain. It’s lurking, waiting for a moment when his will bends to claim him, to take him away from Y/N as it did before. Paul promised her he’d never do that again and he’s kept that promise, despite the pain it brings him. Looking around the room now, he sees everyone else is in the same kind of pain too, except for Jacob and Seth who shift regularly.

“We can do a dinner,” Paul sighs. They sacrificed a lot for him and Y/N. They might as well get something from it. “It can’t be a surprise!” He insists. “I’ll check with her first. She’s finally making progress, I won’t risk her regressing now.”

“Fine”, Daisy rolls her eyes. “But we get to bring gifts.”

“If she agrees to dinner, feel free to bring gifts.”

High-fiving Embry, Daisy smiles. “And I know exactly what to get her.” Noticing Paul’s furrowed brows, Daisy’s eyes narrow. “I see you’re regretting your decision. Don’t let Y/N feel it or I will show you why my middle name is Thorne!”

Jacob cackles, “No way!”

Embry runs a hand down his face, aware his friends will definitely use that whenever they can.

“My parents were hippies, okay?!”

Paul nods, unable to hide his smile. “Well, you definitely gave us all a present today.”

Grabbing a muffin, Daisy glares at Jacob who bends over, still laughing…extremely, annoyingly loudly. Thanking his lucky stars for ending things with Rachel when he did and remaining single long enough to find his imprint, because if things played out a little differently he'd be stuck with Jacob as his brother-in-law for the rest of his life.

With the sense of relief his thoughts brought him, Paul walks closer to Emily and Sam. He leans on the wall.

“If Y/N gives permission for this thing….I might need help cooking”, Paul sighs as Emily smirks.

“Oh, I’m well aware. All you need to do is ask.”

PART 32

Tags: @notperfect-justme @sucker4seresin @ahoyyharrington @b-tchymoon @squiddaloo @abbiesxox @kellyashcroft @the-chaotic-cow @xxxjaexxx @captainrogers-19 @bexloxl @adaydreamaway08 @sunsetevergreen @volturiwolf @twihard08 @galacticstxrdust @sorrow-and-bliss @missxmarvelous @locokoca @unstablekay @makhaia @venusdelaroix @avadakadabra93 @tearsforhan @a-marie-a @lendeluxe @seagulls-corner @konigslilslut @rottenstyx @itsmytimetoodream @dreamerwasfound @convolutings @thingfromlove @jennyamanda8 @havecourage-darling @luvr-exe @alittlejudgemental @turningtoclown @emptydoorsandpaintedwindows @marvelmenarebeautiful @bringmethe-world @alitaar @sugasthreedollarkookie @chloe-skywalker @heyheyheyggg @feral-ratatattat-king @fandomrulesall-blog @dcgoddess @lilac-crowns-blog @small-town-wayward-daughter

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #twilight fandom #paul lahote series #paul lahote angst #twilight fic #twilight saga #paul lahote imprint #wolfpack #imprinting

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theaskywalker · 2 years

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Excuse me, are requests open? If so , may I please request a Seth Clearwater x ADHD fem reader. Thank you for your time! 🙃😊

Seth Clearwater x ADHD Fem Reader

Thank you 123-just-ignore-me for being my very first request! I hope that you like it! 😊

❥ When Seth imprinted on you, a few months after the Volturi incident, you were overjoyed since you had the biggest crush on him

❥ The two of you immediately started dating and everything seemed perfect

❥ Seth loved you passionately and showered you with kisses and affection

❥ But he soon started worrying about you

❥ It all began when you got carried away while grocery shopping and slipped resulting in a sprained ankle

❥ You tried to shove it off as bad luck but Seth didn't buy it (since it was the third accident of that month)

❥ Reluctantly, you told him about your condition and waited for his reaction

❥ Seth hugged you and said that he loved every aspect of you, which made you smile

❥ From that day on, Seth tried his best to make life easier for you

❥ He helped you study for school by creating interesting quizzes out of the source material and rewarding you with kisses and your favourite sweets when you got a question right

❥ When you zoned out during class or a conversation he was always there to recap all that was said so that you didn't feel left out

❥ Glaring at people who give you weird looks because of your fidgeting

❥ Opting to be your school assignment assistant in order to remind you to hand them in on time

❥ Reassuring you that you are an amazing person when you feel insecure about yourself

❥ Knowing of you losing track of time and feeling guilty about always running late on your dates so he schedules them accordingly by telling you to come an hour earlier

❥ Interested in learning all the details about strange topics that catch your attention

❥ Helping you find misplaced personal belongings

❥ Keeping a constant eye on you to prevent you from falling and getting hurt again

❥ He's the sweetest and most caring boyfriend you could ever ask for and you are super grateful for him

Masterlist

#twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight wolves #twilight wolf pack #seth clearwater #seth clearwater x reader #seth clearwater headcanons #headcanons #twilight headcanons #adhd reader #relationship #imprinting #00s #la push #high school

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starsdies · 2 years

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LISTEN I love and live for all your omega anakin headcanons so how about both anakin and Obi wan sort of expect that anakin will be an alpha based off the fact he’s super headstrong and tall and what not but a few days before anakin presents anakin innocently keeps making comments about how Obi wan smells especially nice today 😇 and Obi-wan is like 🧐😯😳 once he realizes what it might mean (also the idea of omegas being way more feral and territorial than alphas is soooo chefs kiss 😘)

oh anon i am OBSESSED WITH THIS. i like to think unpresented people don't smell presented scents. like he can smell obi-wan's natural "human" scent but over time, maybe his eyes linger on the patch on his neck where it's most potent. maybe he gets extra cuddly. it's a slow, unassuming process until anakin leans in and comments on obi-wan's strong scent. anyway here's a very small scene playing in my brain over and over <3

"Is that new cologne, master?"

Obi-wan freezes mid sentence in his book. Of course, approaching nineteen, Anakin's presentation was far overdue and he'd carefully prodded their bond every few days for any potential changes. However, nothing quite clicked that it was actively occurring. There were: no immediate shifts in temper often associated with alphas, no sudden saturation of scent, no pain with his body adjustments. Nothing. The healers were nearly sure Anakin wouldn't present at all. A part of Obi-wan couldn't help the passing thought that it would be better that way. "What do you smell?"

Anakin, leaning over his exposed mechno arm where he'd been working, takes a test whiff. The affect of Anakin's new proximity is immediate. Their bond blooms pleasantly, and oh god, Obi-wan gets a full whiff of... pomegranate. Spices. A hint of sweet Jogan fruit. His thoughts click into place just as his mouth waters. The longer hugs. The passing comments of Obi-wan's apparent cologne. Ah.

"You smell so..." Anakin sighs, nostrils flaring. "Good. Strong but gentle. Like your favorite tea. Or the spray of an ocean wave. Or..."

He can't help but laugh - immediately after presenting, Obi-wan recalled wanting to put his nose in every crevice of the galaxy to experience it in an entirely new way. The same awe is on Anakin's face but rather than expected discomfort from an alpha's scent, he is... drawn forward to another alpha in the room. Eyes slide up to Obi-wan's neck and glance away with a certain shyness that's reminiscent of when he was much younger. Younger, and entirely human. His Padawan wasn't often shy - he'd grown out of it for the most part, but the heat on his cheeks is evident. Damning, even.

"Sorry, it's just," Anakin licks his lips, squeezing the tool between his fingers. "Really nice cologne. You should wear it more often."

Obi-wan bites his tongue. His scent, even for an alpha, is incredibly faint. If Anakin can smell it... "I don't wear cologne, dear one," he says carefully, unsure how Anakin might take the realization that he's presenting. Not just that - but as an omega. "Have you been experiencing sensory issues?"

Anakin's face pinches. "Sort of. But mostly I'm just achy. But I did so much sparring with the other senior Padawans the other day and Ferus Olin really has it out for me."

Obi-wan sets aside his book, a palm pressing against Anakin's forehead. As expected, it's hot to touch. "I see. Does my cologne help?"

This time, Anakin's gaze flickers, attentive. "Yeah, that's why I mentioned it actually. Why, Master, wh--oh. Oh."

A flash of horror crosses Anakin's face. He has yet to master the ability to control his facial expressions with his emotions, and Obi-wan sees it clear as day: the realization that he's presenting. Here. Now. Presenting and utterly drawn to someone that he shouldn't be, omega attached to the comfort of a scent he shouldn't find comfort in. Obi-wan brushes away what it means, what it will mean, to stand. "I think we should visit Master Che, Padawan."

#imprinting #i wanted to write more but i will stop good lord #love the idea of alphas not liking other alpha's scents so >:)#or omegas on an alpha scent GRRRRR #anakin imprinting on obi-wan HELLO #ask #anon #drabble #obikin #omegaverse

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fairyqueentitana · 1 year

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Twilight has issues

Like every other girl, I watched the movies and read the books and now I shall rant.

Isabella Marie Swan is a romantic idiot - Now I get that vampires are supposed to suck in their prey and in a way tend to hypnotise humans so much so that common sense is not that common but seriously who follows a vampire into the woods ALONE. Even with a friend, she would not have a chance but who does that. She finds out that she is a blood singer and thinks oh we can have a wonderful relationship. Sis your blood is his drug of choice you are his literal special walking and talking blood bag. Who chooses the walking undead over their family and loved ones. Mind you ladies and gentlemen I say nothing about money cause we all need money these days can't blame nobody for looking for stability. However, Bella was not looking for stability she was looking for the sparkly disco stick connected to her equals sparkly disco ball of her boyfriend.

Renesme is totally going to hate her mum - So for those that don't know Ragamuffin is the biological demon spawn of Edward and Bella half vampire/half human. She was imprinted on by Jacob Black now what is so off-putting by this is that Jacob was infatuated with Bella throughout the whole series until of course, he made eye contact with Renesme. I should point out he really wanted her dead until the dreaded eye contact happened and the imprint bond formed. Now Reenesme is a bit self-conscious about the fact she does not sparkle and Bella tells her "You're the prettiest" Edward being the dad of the year straight up says "I have to disagree" (those two should not be parents) The kid is obviously going to grow with an inferiority complex towards her mum how will she feel when she finds out not even Her Jacob wanted her initially and that he was in love with her mother.

Imprints - I noted this before with Renesme however I wanted to address something people love to ignore. The bond could be that of a friend, protector,brother/sister or lover so why in the world is everyone letting Sam and Emily off. Yes, Emily is his imprint but he was ENGAGED to Leah her COUSIN and chose to pursue her romantically and no one but Leah is mad at him. Emily tells him no a bunch of times eventually her harsh words cause Sam to lose control and stuff but after that, she starts dating him, They could not have chosen to have a platonic or family relationship no lets eventually date and throw that in Leah's face both of them are in the wrong. Next, if they imprint on a child then that should be an automatic big brother/sister relationship nothing more nothing less.

The Cullens cover story is just awful it is ridiculous seriously Edward, Alice and Emmett could have played their kids and Rosalie and Jasper their significant others who live with them due to family issues or being listed as guardians when their parents died in a horrible crash three years ago. They just had to use the most outrageous cover story out there and it shows.

Bella did one thing right - Bella ensured herself a comfortable future I mean the Cullens are loaded she will never be wanting for anything ever, unfortunately, she will have to continuously attend school for the rest of her immortal life.

BLOODLUST IS AN EMOTION AND SO IS HUNGER - Y'all Jasper is an empath and he lives with a group of vampires to be clear he lives with Edward who is struggling not to drain his blood singer on a daily basis. The Cullens owe him a huge apology that was not his fault.

Esme is the only one with a fully developed brain- Esme is the oldest out of all the Cullens she was turned when she was 26 years old one year after the brain is said to fully develop. No wonder she seems to be the sanest person in that family.

Stuck in time - WHile they have lived for a very long time and adapted the Cullens still maintain many of their learned habits from their times and as they are frozen at that age I would have to assume that they maintain certain thoughts and opinions of their time. I'm slowly hinting at the fact that Jasper was a Confederate solider so he may be quite racist..........

#twilight #bella swan #esme cullen #alice cullen #jasper hale #olympic coven #jacob black #leah clearwater #emily young #sam uley #imprinting #twilight rant

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pareparebear · 2 years

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My Sunshine, chapter 3

Paul x reader 1.7k words

Every moment of Paul’s life had been leading to her. If someone had told him a week ago that his purpose for existing would show up he wouldn’t have believed them for a second, but here she was. All of the weird feelings he had experienced lately make sense. His excitement whenever he came a little too close to forks, his wanting to hang out more with Jake, Em, and Quil (which is something he would never choose to spend his time doing on purpose). He had been restless for weeks and couldn’t think of a reason why. He blamed it on the patrols. He believed he had been working too hard and that was it. Oh how wrong he was. It felt strange for him to suddenly be so nervous yet excited to meet a complete stranger when his previous feelings towards imprinting were anything but…

About two weeks ago Paul had been sitting lazily at his home when someone messaged him. He sighed heavily and reached for his phone. Most of his attention was on his television screen that was showing his favorite movie, but he peeked at his phone and saw texts from his fellow pack members.

Jared : “Paul Paul Paul Paul Paul”

Jacob : “Paul Paul Paul Paul Paul”

Embry : “Paul Paul Paul Paul Paul”

Quil : “Paul Paul Paul Paul Paul“

Paul sighed even more heavily than before he knew who was bothering him on his day off. Being a shifter and running around the woods all day in search of those bloodsuckers was hard work. He did, however, give in to their cult like chanting and answered.

Paul : “What do you want?”

Jared : “OH WOW HE RESPONDS”

Quil : “And not two hours later after ignoring us!”

Embry : “AWWW he does love us”

Paul : “I'm Leaving.”

Quil : “wait waIT WAIT HOLD ON”

Jared : “We want you to come cliff diving with us”

Jacob : “Everyone is going to be there”

Embry : “come ON it’ll be fuuuuuun”

After some consideration Paul thought ‘what the hell’ and sent the guys a quick ‘be there in a bit’ text before grabbing his swim trunks and a change of clothes before heading out.

‘The one good thing about being able to shapeshift into a giant wolf’ Paul thought while standing in his backyard preparing to shift, ‘is definitely the speed.’ That was his last thought before turning into his giant silver counterpart. He leaned down to pick up his clothes and set off in the direction of the beach. Out of all of the things he hated about not being a normal human, at least running in the woods, feeling the wind rustle his thick fur, and the Earth under his giant paws was not so bad. It almost makes up for having to leave his old friends behind, going through that confusing and terrifying first shift, and the relentless invasion of privacy.

When Paul arrived at the edge of the woods near the beach he could hear his friends laughing and decided to let out a small howl to tell them he was there before shifting back to a human and changing into his swim trunks. He ran towards the noisy group and came upon the boys playing a game of soccer in the sand. He grinned showcasing his pearly canines that transcend the wolf. This was another plus to being a shifter, he kept these sharp fangs. He playfully pushed someone on his way to greet Emily and Kim who were sitting off to the side enjoying watching them play, he didn’t see who it was but by the grunt of protest he heard as he passed he assumed it was Jacob. He ran to quickly hug the girls before returning to the pack and interrupting their game. Playful protests exclaimed amongst them, but other than that the game resumed and by the end they were all laughing and attempting to shove each other in the sand.

When they were tired of their game they all decided to head to the cliff. Slowly they ascended the cliff side to dive down into the frigid waters below. Sam and Jared stayed back with their imprints to keep them company and warmth considering the sudden temperature drop. Paul glanced back while heading to the cliff and scoffed at the lovey-dovey display. He didn’t get it. How could they just throw themselves at their feet like that- what because some supernatural feeling told them to. He couldn’t imagine losing himself so completely. He liked having at least a little dignity left when at the end of the day he can transform into an oversized dog.

Quil saw Paul's disgusted reaction to the two couples’ displays of affection. He couldn’t understand why everyone hated being a wolf so bad when it came with so many perks. You are faster, stronger, bigger, and better than you were before plus you get a soulmate that you can love for the rest of your life. Of course Quil simply enjoyed being cued into the big shape shifting secret so he can spend time with his best friends again. He wanted to speak up and ask Paul why he found the idea of imprinting so unappealing but then he remembered all the times Paul would complain about it and decided to save himself the headache.

‘It’s completely against our will.’ … ‘Why would I want the universe to choose who I want to be with for me?’ … ‘Don’t you remember what it did to Sam and Leah? What if I’m happy with someone and fate decides to intervene?’ … ‘It’s bad enough that I have to change into a wolf so what would I need an imprint for?’

Paul had made it abundantly clear on multiple occasions that he thinks the idea of imprinting is stupid and he simply won’t have one. As if he has a choice. Sam and Jared always told him that he would understand when he meets his imprint but Paul swore that if that day comes he would reject it. He would defy nature and its barbaric rules and would make a new destiny for himself. He wasn’t made to be a wolf. He wasn’t made to be a protector. He wasn’t made to give all of himself to someone else. At Least that's what he thought. Oh how wrong he was.

Paul didn’t expect this pull towards Y/n to be this strong. It was like something invisible was tied to his navel, or more like attached, and was yanking him towards her. Something inside of him was begging to be near her, to touch her, to smell her, to hold her, to be anything and everything she could ever need. Paul wasn’t prepared for this. He also wasn’t prepared for his feet to start moving by themselves closer and closer to this unknown, beautifully radiant person. He couldn’t believe that he ever thought he could fight this. He felt almost disgusted with himself at the thought that he used to not want an imprint. Now that he sees her. Now that he can feel her presence and is aware of it he couldn’t imagine going anywhere or being anywhere that is not with her. Paul genuinely believed if he didn't get closer he might die. His skin was burning hotter than he remembered and his hands were sweating so severely that he had to wipe them nervously against his pants to try and dry them a little. Has walking always been so hard? He could feel his legs shaking the closer he got to his soulmate.

‘Be cool Be cool Be cool Be cool…’ Paul repeated in his head on his way to meet the love of his li- imprint. To meet his imprint. ‘Wow this whole destined to be together thing is really powerful,’ Paul thought.

“Hi”

His body had to have been working on autopilot because there was no way that his entire being could be filled with thoughts and feelings of Y/n and would still be able to walk correctly. This was the only explanation Paul could come up with that would make himself feel better for making such an awkward and embarrassing first impression on the person he had decided he would spend the rest of his life with. He’s mortified, scared, sweaty; but somewhat impressed that he actually managed to say anything at all considering how he can barely breathe. Her presence was suffocating in the best way.

“Hey,” Y/n replied back in the softest and most melodic voice Paul had ever had the privilege to hear in his entire life. He was determined to make her talk for the rest of his life. He never wanted to stop hearing her voice. But if he wanted to hear her again he would need to act fast because she was slowly realizing that staring intently at a stranger is not normal and that everyone else in the house had been completely silent this whole time.

“Hey guys sorry we are a little late but we brought some snacks for the bonfire tonight!” Seth proclaimed while bursting in the front door, effectively ruining any mood there had been as everyone swiftly eyed Seth and Leah and they walked into the house. Seth had both his arms raised with large bags of chips in each hand and a proud smile stretching across his face ear-to-ear. Leah trailed slowly behind him with a couple jars of cheese and salsa. She looked as though she would rather stick her hand in a vat of acid than be in this room.

Suddenly everyone in the room could breathe again. People started shuffling out the door towards the beach where the bonfire was taking place. Y/n, suddenly remembering how close she had gotten to Paul, quickly jumped away. She gave him a small smile before slipping out the door alongside Emily into the frigid evening air. As she got farther away Paul could feel the pull again, less intense than when they first met eyes, but definitely there. He almost whimpered when he watched her walk outside before catching himself and quickly following after her. He was officially and completely whipped and the only thing he knew about her was her name.

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Hey guys! Wow two weeks has felt like FOREVER. Band has me exhausted but I’ve had loads of ideas and I didn’t want to leave you guys hanging for too long. This chapter I wanted to get the story from Paul’s perspective a little more. I am SO ECSTATIC with the amount of positive feedback my story has been getting and at the amount of people that have liked it so far! I cannot wait to upload more chapters. Anyways, Happy Reading!

Tag list :

@randomstory56 @hauntedfunbouquetsposts-blog @blueshoelacess @adaydreamaway08 @lendeluxe @gabxbyr @rottenstyx @livieweasley

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