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girl8890 · 2 years

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JK | Cabin in The Woods

word count: 6.7k

Summary: Everyone knows to stay out of the forest, but through a dare you ventured in… you just never came out. Meeting a wolf that says he needs you to survive, and you have no one else to give your love to but the animal that uses you every night.

Pairing: Werewolf!Jungkook x Human!Reader

Genre: yandere, supernatural!au, horror!au, smut, angst, some fluff (if you squint)

Rating: 18+

Warnings: bullying, disfiguration of body parts, breaking of bone, mate bonding, possessiveness, implied murder, blood, eating of people & living animals, implied/attempt at rape/non-con, vaginal sex, cream pie, cock warming, pussy sniffing & kissing, jk is horny for reader 99% of the time, kinda stockholm syndrome-ish, easily manipulated reader, dom!jk, sub!reader, lonely!reader

A/N: The best way I can explain this fic is that jk has actual wolf tendencies. He’s more wolf than man, so you’ll find that he relates more to a wolf in this fic than to his human half. I had a dream about this, probably should see a therapist, but here we’re instead! I hope you enjoy, my yandere lovers! 😌

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You don’t know why you agreed to the dare. It was stupid to even think nothing would happen to you.

All you wanted was to make some friends, so when some people in your hometown asked you to come to their party, you were all for it. When you got to said party, it wasn’t what you were expecting. Everyone’s eyes were on you, and the peer pressure was to the max. Somehow a game of truth of dare started, and now your here—alone in the woods because you were one of the few daring people at that party.

You weren’t daring, though, and the dare wasn’t random. It was pointed at you by a couple of college kids that wanted to pick on the loner girl. You realized this after the hour in the haunted forest definitely went by, and no one came to save you.

North became south, and west became east. Any direction you pointed yourself in, you would find yourself trailing deeper and deeper into the woods where too many tourists and even a few locals never came out of.

You swore the forest was even playing tricks on you. Swearing that each tree looked the same, and the fog got thicker with each step you took. You didn’t stop your hurried walking, to try and get out of the forest as quickly as possible, until you heard a snap of a twig from behind you. Slowly turning your head, something you never thought in your twenty-two years of life you would ever see was standing right above you on a rock.

It was a wolf.

Not just any wolf. A snarling, big, yellow eyed, and black furred scary looking wolf that still had animal carcass from an earlier dinner hanging out of its mouth. And you had a feeling it wanted you for desert. You, for some reason, thought if you stayed still that it wouldn’t see you. Like all the movies about predators not being able to see their prey if it stayed still. Well, you very quickly realized this is not Jurassic Park and the wolf lunged at you.

You screamed, sliding somehow just out of the way from the wolfs attack, and then booked it. Running as fast as you can, and screaming as loud as you can. You claimed this day to be the worst one of your life because even as you ran like hell, the wolf still followed closely behind. Four big paws hitting the ground way faster then your two feet were.

You think you may have run a mile that day just trying to get away from the wolf. When you finally decided to look back and see the beast, you were finally able to skid to a stop when you see it’s not behind you. You breathe out a sigh of relief… but that relief didn’t last long.

Just as you turn back around, the same beast as before springs out of the shadows and tackles you to the ground. The beast hunted you. It made you think it left and had you let your guard down. Stupid mistake because now your done for.

The beast growled in your face, and pinned your entire body to the ground. It’s sharp, huge teeth dripping with drool right on your face. This was it. This was going to be the end of your life, and you were going to be apart of the many that ventured into this forest and never came out.

Tears streamed down your face, and because you felt desperate you even begged the wild animal. “Please… I-I’m not ready to die.”

In that moment, you thought you even heard the wolf laugh. A heavy chuckle coming from its snot. But in that moment, when the beast was laughing at your pathetic pleads, it sniffed the air around you and then it’s pupils dilated. The wolf inhaled again, this time pressing its snout right against your neck, and making you shake with fear when you thought it was going to bite you.

There was a moment of silence, the wolf keeping its nose against your neck, and then it retracted it’s snout away from you. Everything happened so fast after that…

The sound of bone crunching was the first thing you heard, but it wasn’t your own. The creature above you backed away a messily bit, and it was only because the head of it was melting away. It’s then you realize it’s body was transforming into something you’ve never seen before. Body parts coming out of its skin, and constant sounds of broken bones snapping as each piece of the wolfs limbs melted away into one of… something else.

When the first limb that was being created out of the wolf became whole, you realize it was one of a persons. A man’s hand attached to a whole arm as each piece of him clicked together. It was a gruesome and slow process to watch. One that would of had you gagging if you weren’t so focused on the once wolf turning into a man.

When each bone finally clicked in place, a man that would of had you swooning by his looks alone any other day was kneeling above you. His hair was close to hitting his shoulders, and to the opposite of what you would expect from a creature like him, his skin was smooth to the touch except a singular small mole under his lip. His lips were pink, chapped, but plump and they were above a jaw line that most women would compliment as being sculpted from the gods.

It’s then, as more silence stretches on and you’re now staring into two brown eyes that were once yellow, that you put the pieces together of what creature us standing before you. Of what creature—this very muscular, and very naked, creature of a man has been doing in these woods too. Making countless people disappear, and having too many people afraid to even step foot into these wood because of it. Because of him.

“Werewolf,” You say at the same time the beast above you says, “Mate.”

And that was the day your life changed forever.

———

Nobody missed you. Nobody went out searching for you. You assumed everyone at the party thought you died, so that was the end of loner girl y/n. Probably didn’t even have a memorial like all the other forest disappearances.

You had no parents to worry about you. Your mom died over a year ago from complications, and eventually your father died soon after from a broken heart. No siblings or other close relatives to wonder about you, so you were stuck. Stuck in the woods with the only person—being, wolf, whatever—that actually showed he… cared?

You’ve be in a small cabin in the woods with him for three months now. It was a cabin that if an people passed by—not that they would venture in to the woods or get that close to begin with—wouldn’t think twice about it being abandoned and nothing worth exploring. But on the inside was everything a girl like you needed.

A somehow working bathroom, a small kitchen right in front of the door, and a queen sized bed (that’s more of a mattress on top of a old bed holder) that was pushed into the corner of the small cabin. With a blanket and two pillows on top of it. One pillow that ironically had a picture of a wolf sewed into the fabric of the pillow case. Everything a girl like you needed to survive was in this small space.

And everything the werwolf needed, Jungkook you found out his name was the day you met him, was you and what was in the last door of the cabin. The door that opened up to a set of steep stairs, and held nothing but a steal cage in the middle. That’s where he held you the first week you stayed here. Trapped and forced to endorse his ritual of claiming you as his. Teaching you how to be the perfect little submissive human to his dominate wolf.

He never took you as a an actual wolf luckily, but he did take you that first meeting in the woods. On the ground, with your clothes ripped apart, and you crying and screaming for him to stop. It wasn’t until he bit into your neck, forever claiming you as his mate, that it felt like your whole world shifted.

Suddenly it was like you could do nothing but submit to him. You still had resolve, though. And that’s why he kept you in the cage for so long. A week may not seem like much, but it did for you. Especially when he—allegedly—left you down there at night. He didn’t let you out until you promised never to leave, and after three months you’re still here.

You’re currently washing a dish in the small sink in the kitchen. You just ate lunch of what you assumed was rabbit, Jungkook being the one to hunt for yours and his food, and once your done with cleaning it you put it on a towel to dry. You look up from the sink at the same time Jungkook as a wolf came into view of the small window in the kitchen above the sink. You can see he’s holding in his mouth what looks to be a deer, and you grimace as you think about how he killed it.

You open the cabins front door when he gets close enough to the house, and move off to the side so the big wolf can squeeze himself into the house. Shutting the door behind him, he came in into the kitchen area and dropped the dead deer on the floor. You crotch onto the floor in front of what you presume to be dinner, and you aren’t scared of the wolf’s fangs as he continues to heave out breathes next to you.

You haven’t been scared of his wolf for a long time.

“Poor Bambi,” You say as you pet the deers snout. Earning a growl from Jungkook as you touch the dead deer so tenderly, and then he pushes his own snout in between your hand and the deer so you can then pet him. “Stupid wolf.”

You smile as the wolf laughs. A husky chuckle of a noise you remember used to confuse you when you heard it, but now you know it as him laughing in wolf form.

He then backs away from your hand after a few scratches, and you look away as he begins to transform into the man you were forced to love. The only person you love.

The sound of broken bone came from your right, but it wasn’t until you feel a human nose against you cheek that you turn to see a hairless faced Jungkook. His hair is still a bit long, but you convinced him to cut it a little shorter and even chop a part of it completely off. Making it look like he had a buzzed portion of a quarter of his hair. He’s currently naked, but you ignore that fact. Being very used to his naked form by now.

“Hello stupid wolf,” You say in greeting with a small smile, and you watch his own smile twitch up for a second. He then pushes his face forward, and you let your eyes drift shut when you know he’s about to take in your smell. Something he always does when going into human form and being in front of you.

He first presses his nose back onto your cheek, it wiggling a little as it touches you. Then he moves his nose to your own, and glides it next over your two eyes. Sniffing and inhaling every few seconds. It isn’t until he goes to your lips that you allow your eyes to open half-lidded.

Jungkook’s eyes are shut, but he senses you staring at him so he opens his own eyes. Two pools of brown looking back at you as he slowly presses his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter shut, and you know his eyes are still open. It’s a small, barely any pressure type of kiss and you always think he’s doing it more for you then for him. He knows he doesn’t need to kiss you to earn your love, to own you, but he kisses you anyway.

After a moment of the soft pressure of his kiss to you, he detaches from your lips. You flutter your eyes open, and you hear a quiet growl rumble from his chest. Making your eyes flicker down to where you believe it sounded from.

“Hello… Y/n,” Jungkook says with a broken up voice. You think he’s never talked in his human form until he met you. At least not for a long time, so hearing his voice now is a rarity but you can’t help yourself and smile at him as he practices speaking.

“Yes, I’m y/n.” You press your hand to your chest. “And your Jungkook.” And then you press that same hand onto Jungkook’s naked chest right above his slowly beating heart.

You watch the corner of his lips twitch up again into a small smile, and you wonder what it would look like for him to actually smile. With teeth and all.

“Yes,” Jungkook says simply as he nods at you. He then takes his face away from so close to you, and aims his sights on the bite mark he left on you during the first day you met. You softly gasp when you feel his finger touch the surface of your neck. Gliding his fingers around the jagged teeth marks that will never go away. He then says with a mouth full of clenched sharp teeth, “Mine.”

And you’re his. He’s drilled it enough into your mind and body that you’re his. That he needs you to survive because a wolf without his mate is futile. Just like how your father died without your mother, Jungkook would die without you.

He may have brought up the situation in parts, and started this relationship in a terrible way, but he’s been alone and stuck in his wolf for a very long time. He didn’t know what “no” meant, and everything humans learned about consent and taking things slow into a relationship was nonexistent to him. So, he did what he does best when he wants something, he took it. Took you right there on the forest floor, and came deep inside you as he bit against your neck hard. Claiming you to him and his wolf forever.

Jungkook then slowly departs his finger from your neck, and wraps his arms around your arms and back. Your arms are sandwiched in between the two of you, and you’ve come to learn he likes to hold you this way. Having you safely protected in his arms, and he can easily bring his whole body on top of you so he can scent all of you at once. You pull your legs to your chest, knowing he’s going to scoop them up after he’s done sniffing your hair.

With one last whiff of your hair, he rubs his nose on top of your head. He then, just like you thought, scoops your legs up with one arm and supports your back with the other. Picking you up bridal style, and looking down at you as he caries you to the bed.

Your cradled and squished against him the whole ten steps there, but the whole way feels so safe. You would think a wolf like him that has such animal tendencies would be the worst place for you to be, but overtime you recognized it as the safest place for you. No one could touch you as long as your with him.

But that just means the big bad wolf would always have the ability to touch you.

———

Some time later, when your clothes are stripped off of you and your stomach is being pressed against the mattress, Jungkook drives his cock roughly into you from behind. It’s a rough, hard, and rocky affair every night. That’s right, every night.

The only times he doesn’t take you is when you’re on your period, and that’s because he hates the smell of blood on you. Keeping his distance and staying in wolf form the whole week, so he doesn’t temp himself in his human form.

Your hands are holding onto the front of the mattress in a tight grip, and his hands are clamped on top of yours as he continues to drive into you on repeat. Your moaning so loud it sounds like a scream, and each time you feel his hips press against you to go as deep inside you as possible you arch your back as a quivering sensation goes off in your stomach. Indicating you’re going to cum for the first time that night soon.

Jungkook grunts above you in a animistic way when he feels your pussy clench around his length. Making the teeth of his wolf elongate when his peek gets closer. His cock continues to drill into you at a fast pace as he brings his mouth down onto your neck. He doesn’t bite you, but he does apply a soft pressure of his teeth onto the bite mark he left there three months ago.

He doesn’t need to bite because he knows you know he already owns you. He owns your body, and he knows it so well by now that he doesn’t need to repeat the hurtful mark again. Just laying the sharp teeth across the ridges is enough of a reminder to what you are to him.

With a few more thrusts, banging his hips against your ass, your cumming along side him as he groans into your neck and you moan into the mattress. You lay there, heavy breathing going off from the both of you as your highs decrease. Jungkook takes his teeth off of you and then licks the surface of your neck. A little blood trickling down it since his orgasm was so harsh he bit down on you a little.

When he’s done cleaning your neck, whimpering a little to say sorry for making you bleed, he flips you over without pulling out of you and starts up his thrusts again. Caging your head and arms underneath him, with his arms holding himself above you next to your head. It’s like he didn’t just cum and reck your whole head space as he begins fucking you again. You expected this, though. It’s never just one round, not even two!

He continues to fuck you over and over again, placing you in new positions that keep you surrounded by his body after each time he cums deep within your clenching walls. Not a single time he’ll speak, either. Only you moaning and crying out your pleasure can be heard aside from his occasional grunt as he finishes inside of you. But the faces he makes are enough to have your mind going dirty besides doing the act itself.

When you get a chance to see his face, it’s so sexy it makes you clench around him. His mouth will be wide open in bliss, and his eyes squeezed shut. It looks like he can’t take how good you feel, but he still chases the feeling every time. Wanting to make you cum just as much as he wants to cum.

He fucks you so many times that it gets to the point tonight that you lost count of how many times you’ve orgasmed, and as he was placing you sideways to thrust into you again you felt yourself drift into unconsciousness.

———

Waking up was a start. The sun was blaring from outside the window, and you blink your eyes open to see it. Your body wasn’t sore since it’s gotten used to how rough he is on you over the months you’ve been here, and you look down to see his arms wrapped around your naked middle. You bite your bottom lip, trying to figure out a way you could get out of his hold without waking the softly snoring Jungkook behind you.

As you wiggle in his grasp, staring to remove yourself from him gently, you realize there was no way to get up without him noticing. And that was because he’s still inside you. Still hard too, which was unexpected. You turn slightly around to see the handsome wolfs face, looking innocent as ever as he sleeps.

Softly, you reach out and cup his cheek with your hand. Trying to coax him awake with a few rubs of your palm. Instead of waking up, though, he rubs his face into your hand like a puppy. Wanting you to continue what you’re doing even as he sleeps. You hold back your laughter as Jungkook begs for your rubs, but you drop your hand altogether.

Instead of waking up from the lack of rubs, his face starts trying to find where the amazing sensation went. It isn’t until his nose gets buried in your hair, him sniffing up a big whiff of your small and gripping you a little tighter in his grasp, that he blinks his eyes open.

He pulls his face out of your hair, looking down at you like he didn’t realize it was for a second, but then the corners of his mouth are switching up when he sees it’s you he’s holding.

“Goodmorning,” You whisper to him with a smile. He hums his own version of saying good morning, then he wraps his other arm around your middle and pulls you flush again him.

You cry out when his cock that’s still inside you impalas you deeper, and then he letting go you altogether when he hears your cry. He must of not noticed he was inside you until now, gently taking his slowly softening cock out of you, and he looks at you frantic when he thinks he hurt you. Hovering his hands above your arms and looking strained as he tries to push out the word, “Hurt?”

You swallow, pulling yourself together as the rough pain to your dry pussy lessens, and you shake your head and smile again at him. “Nope, just surprised me.”

He looks at you unconvinced, and because he doesn’t know what boundaries mean, he pulls your legs apart and inspects you himself.

“Jungkook!” You scream as you try to cover your core from him. He’s scene it plenty of times, but besides to aim his cock at you he’s never directly looked at it before. He still pulls your hands away from you, pinning them against your one leg as he pulls your legs wide apart. Your beat red in the face and chest now as he just stares at your core so closely. “S-stop it.”

He looks up at you, and his eyes say more then any words can. Matching with his pointed frown, his big doe eyes look up at you saddened. Even though he’s been rough with you many times in the past, using you every night for his own pleasure even if he coaxes your own in the process, he hates the thought of you hurt. That’s also why he hates you bleeding because blood means hurting, and hurting means pain, which should never involve itself with his mate.

Looking back down at you pussy, he slowly places a singular kiss onto your slit. You clench your eyes shut at the press of his lips on you. And then your full on grunting when you feel and hear him smell your pussy up close. You know it’s just him saying “I’m sorry I hurt you,” since you taught him kisses could help when someone is hurt, and the smelling is so he can check that you’re not bleeding. But out of all things, your pussy should not be getting kissed and smelt this way!

After a few more embarrassed wiggles from you, Jungkook finally clears that you’re okay and lets you go. You pout at the wolf that looks confused at why you’re upset, and you roll out of bed. As you start getting changed, you hear the cracking of bone behind you. Within seconds Jungkook is back in his wolf form, and pressing his snout against your clothed back.

You sigh, turning around and looking down at the wolf who’s staring up at you so apologetically, and you roll your eyes at him. “Yeah, yeah you stupid wolf.”

You pet him in between the ears, now seeing a smile on the wolfs face and you return a human smile of your own. One with a lot less drool. Then you head for the door, stopping when you realize the deer from last night is still on the ground from last night and look an accusing eye at the beast who brought it here. Jungkook crocks his wolf head at you, not understanding the look you’re sending him.

“Did you really just leave that thing on the floor?” He looks to where you’re pointing, and his ears perk up. Walking up to the fly swarming carcass, instead of throwing it away or putting it in the fridge, he starts to eat it whole.

You grimace as you watch him a second too long, never getting use to seeing that happen in front of you, and then you head out the cabin to start your day.

Your day usually consists of tending to the small garden behind the cabin. It’s nothing incredible, but enough that you won’t be eating dead deer or rabbit everyday. A few tomatoes and cucumbers that you were able to syphon from plants near by, and TaDa! Your own personal garden.

Besides this garden, you don’t usually stray too far from the cabin. For one, even though the monster that haunts these woods lives with you, you’re too scared to find out what else could be found lurking in these woods. And two, anytime you accidentally travel too far from it, weather it be just to walk around or to try and find more seeds to grow, a huffing wolf named Jungkook will come and coax you back to the cabin. There’s been times he’s legit dragged you by your shirt to get home, but that’s just because you were so close to finding new seeds and you didn’t want to leave yet.

You know it’s all out of protection—and maybe still out of fear that you may leave him—but he likes having you close by enough to smell you. His wolf nose being able to track anything from a mile away, so that’s how far around the cabin you’re allowed to go before he loses scent of you. Stopping your wondering just before your scent crosses over that mile mark.

Today, after you put the veggies inside the fridge, you take one of the books that Jungkook “found” for you and go walking into the woods to find a place for you to sit. Just before you cross the tree line, you see on the opposite side of the clearing you’re in that Jungkook is walking into the woods too. Probably to go on a hunt or scoot the area even.

You walk for about a minute into the woods before you find a rock and a tree you can sit, and lean against. Opening up your book, you frown when see the small pool of blood on the title page. You try to ignore how it most likely got there, and keep flipping pages until you find the first page.

It’s just when you get to chapter two, that you hear a twig snap close by. You grin at the knowledge that it’s most likely Jungkook, and call out, “Come to read with me, stupid wolf?”

“No, but I would definitely like to do more then just read with you.”

You gasp, jumping up from your spot and dropping your book on the ground in the process when you hear a human voice that’s most definitely not Jungkook’s. It’s a man with long brown hair, a beard thats unkept, and one of his eyes looks screwed shut from loss of sight.

Your body starts shaking immediately. Since you’ve got here, you haven’t seen a single human. You always thought no humans were stupid enough to wonder into these woods—unlike you, but you were lucky enough to be the monsters mate and not die. You know not a single person is going to be that lucky if they come across a hungry Jungkook. Or just him in general!

“I-I, what are you doing here?”

The man raises a fluffy eyebrow at you, and you continue to stare at him wide eyed. “I just thought I would wonder these woods that so many claims is haunted. I just didn’t think I would find myself such a sexy specimen like yourself in here too.”

You swallow thickly at his sultry words, backing up from him as he starts to move forward. “Tell me, girly. Why are you out here all by yourself?”

“I-I’m with my boyfriend.” Your referring to Jungkook, but if this man some how got past him there’s no way he can save you if this man tries something. You watched Jungkook go the opposite way of you, so you have no idea how long it would take for him to rescue you even if you scream.

The man looks both ways, stopping in his tracks with you. “Don’t see no boyfriend.” The closed lip smile on the man’s face disappears. “But I am hungry.”

You open your eyes wide, and clutch onto the skirt of your dress. You look all around the area your in, thinking up the best route to get away from this man. “I-I don’t have any food. So you should p-probably go looking somewhere else.”

The man laughs, showing his blackened teeth as he does, and then he looks at you with a pair of disgusting eyes that only mean one thing. “Oh, darling… that’s not what I’m hungry for.”

Right when his words register to you, you run as fast as you can in the direction of the cabin. Your not far from it, and you can only hope that maybe Jungkook stopped his travels early and came home. You hear heavy footsteps behind you, and you’re suddenly aware of what this chase of cat and mouse reminds you of. The difference between that day with Jungkook and you and right now is that you thought Jungnkook was going to eat you. While the disgusting and vile man behind you doesn’t want to actually eat you, but taint and ruin your body. Ruin your soul, even.

You push forward as you spot the clearing up ahead. Dodging tree branch’s and jumping over rocks. Just when you’re about to step foot into the clearing of the cabin, a heavy body pins you to the ground. You cry out as the man that was chasing yous heavy weight falls on top of you. Screaming once again when you feel a hard erection press against your ass through his jeans.

He’s not as big as Jungkook—not that that was your main concern—but just knowing it’s there and not Jungkook’s has you starting to cry already.

“Oh, shut the fuck up you whore!” The man above you yells. Maneuvering himself so he can pin your arms against your back with his knee, and you hear the start of him unbuckling his pants and belt.

You think your done for. That you’re about to be ruined beyond repair from the man above you, and never want to face Jungkook again. Even though Jungkook did the same to you once all those months ago, there was still pleasure for you being brought to the table. It wasn’t selfish, but a need for him to mate you. This man, on the other hand, won’t give a shit if you like it and wants to use you because your just there. Not because he loves you, or wants to hold you in his arms forever. Keeping you safe and making sure you’re never in pain.

This man wants to bring you pain, and you shut your eyes and cry out one last time before you think you’re about to be ruined forever. “Jungkook, help me!”

It happens so fast after that… but not what your thinking.

One second the man is pushing up your dress to reveal yourself to him, and the next he’s being ripped off of you. It doesn’t register to you that you’re no longer being pinned to the ground until you start to hear screaming, growling, and the sound of bones breaking. Breathing heavily against the ground, you stay completely still until the screams stop out of no where and the smell of blood is in the air.

You blink back your tears that are still falling, and on shaking arms you push yourself up onto your hands and knees. Before you could be brave enough to stand up entirely, a hand is being pressed into your back. You jump away from the hand and turn around to see a bloodied face Jungkook crouching in front of you.

Although your eyes are being blurred with tears, you can see his extremely upset face as he takes in your form. You don’t waste any time. You leap into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. He makes a ‘Uph’ sound and stubbles back, but he catches you nonetheless. He’s always there to catch you.

Jungkook buries his face into your neck to smell you, while your face is against his neck to cry into. He growls against your neck when his nose processes the now dead’s man smell on you. You let him scent mark you, and the whole times he’s keeping you strapped to him. Not letting go of you for a single second.

By the time he’s down scenting you, and your crying has simmered down a little, you pull your face out of his neck to face him. The same deep frown and saddened eyes look at you, and you know it’s because of what almost transpired a few moments ago.

He swallows, pushing out a, “Hurt…?” You open your mouth to say no, because even though it scared you the man didn’t hurt you exactly. But then Jungkook is pushing out more words, “Try. To… Hurt. You?”

Your lip wobbles, and you can’t speak. Feeling your chest crumble from knowing the answer to his question is not positive, and instead of you speaking you nod your head since it’s too hard to speak right now.

Jungkook’s upset frown turns into an expression you haven’t seen yet on him. You know what he looks when he’s happy (flick up of the corners of his mouth), and when he’s sad (deep frown and drooping eyes), but this is different… this Jungkook is angry.

His sharp wolf teeth extend from his gums, and the corners of his eyes wrinkle and twitch as he thinks about what that man would have done to you. If it wasn’t for Jungkook being back on his way to the cabin at that second, it would have been too late. The man’s smell didn’t even register to him when Jungkook did an air check to smell where you were. All he smelt was something dirty, and he registered that as the part of the woods you were in smelling weird.

Never again. Never again will he ignore weird smells around you, or think your alright even if something seems off. He’ll drop everything for you. Even if he really wants to go claw some more at the dead man’s body right now, he picks you up as you’re now, wrapped around his body, and starts carrying you in the direction of the cabin.

You keep your face against Jungkook’s shoulder the entire time. Not letting go even after he puts you on the bed. You don’t remember how you got here, or even him closing the door behind you, but once your in bed and safe you still don’t let him go of him. And Jungkook is okay with that.

He puts you against the wall, making sure your caged in between his body and the wall so nothing can harm you. Even if someone were to look inside the cabin right now, all they would see is Jungkook’s naked back and ass.

Trying to be a good mate, he hums what sounds like a lullaby as he runs his sharps nails up and down your clothed back. When you finally begin to relax, calmly pulling your arms off of him so they can be sandwiched in between the two of you, you whisper a quiet, “Thank you.”

Jungkook stops humming, and stops rubbing your back. Looking down at your shameful looking face with wide eyes.

“Why?” He asks.

“Why, thank you?” He nods his head pointedly. “For saving me.”

Jungkook won’t take that. He won’t take a thank you for this. Your his mate, and he wasn’t there to protect you. He doesn’t deserve your thank yous or even you at this point. Pulling your face out of his chest with his two hands, he stares into your eyes as he tries to communicate how he feels. “No. No, thank yous. Don’t… Deserve… Thank yous. Or… You.”

Now it’s your turn to look at him wide eyed. You grab onto his hands on your face and shake your head. “What are you talking about? Yes, you do. You deserve me because I’m your mate.”

Jungkook’s shakes his head. “Not enough.”

Your lips part, and you see the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes as his hands fall off your face. This is the first time he said something without breaking the words apart, and out of all things it was him saying he’s not enough for you. Well now, your not going to take that.

You grab onto his face, making him face you and feel a little pleased with yourself when you see a surprised look on his face. You pull his face forward and smash your lips against his. He’s surprised, at first, but then he’s groaning into your mouth and wrapping his arms around your middle again. You moan when you feel his length begin to grow against your thigh, moving it slightly to allow him some friction. He growls when you do that, and you detach your lips from his as you look at him determined to make him understand just how you feel about what he just said.

“You do deserve me, Jungkook. You deserve me because I’m your mate, and you’re mine. And I-… I love you so stop being stupid and just claim what’s yours already!”

Jungkook blinks, registers your words a couple times in his head, and repeats, “Mate?”

You roll your eyes and say, “Yes!”

“Love. Me?”

You swallow, taking a moment of hesitation but then replying again, “Yes.”

Then that’s all Jungkook needs to be convinced. He smashes his lips against yours the same way you did, and you’re moaning up a storm by the time he rolls you underneath him. You take your clothing off as fast as your arms can do it, and then Jungkook is thrusting into you the second your pussy is presented to him.

Both of you making noises of pleasure as he enters you, stretching and rubbing at your walls just the way you like it as he roughly pounds against your core. As always, Jungkook fucks you rough and hard, but right now you need it. You need it just as much as him, and when you both cum at the same time, you’re scratching at his back to go another round… and another… and another.

As always, you lose count of how many rounds you both did, but this time you’re both out of breathe by the time you both decide to stop. His cum is leaking from you because you’re so filled to the brim with his seed, and you revel in it. Feeling his cum drip on your leg, and feeling his soft lips peeper kiss your face as he sandwiches your body against his and the wall again.

You love it all! But most importantly, you love your mate.

And he loves you more than you could ever comprehend.

The End

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butdaddyilovehim-hs · 7 months

Text

Tolerate It III

"Tell me I've got it wrong somehow."

Read Part II here

Harry watches as Kendall leaves, his heart heavy with the weight of the situation. He turns his attention back to Y/N, who stands there, waiting for his explanation. He knows he doesn't have much time to make things right, and he takes a deep breath before he starts speaking.

"Y/N, I swear, I didn't invite her over. I had no idea she was coming. I've been a mess since you left, and I've barely left this place. She must have just shown up on her own," he pleads, his voice full of sincerity.

Y/N's grip on her bag loosens slightly, but she doesn't sit back down. Her eyes are still filled with hurt and doubt, and Harry can see her fight or flight kicking in.

"I know I messed up, and I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for everything. I love you, Y/N, more than anything in this world. You and Elle mean everything to me, and I've been a fool for not showing it," Harry continues, his voice cracking with emotion.

Y/N remains silent, her gaze fixed on him. Harry knows that he needs to give her more than just words. He needs to show her that he's committed to making things right.

"I'm going to make it up to you, Y/N. I'll do whatever it takes to rebuild your trust. We'll go to counselling if you want, and I'll be more present in Elle's life. I promise to be the husband and father you both deserve," Harry says, his voice filled with determination.

Y/N finally sits back down, her bag still in her lap. She looks at him with a mixture of sadness and hope in her eyes.

"Harry, this isn't going to be easy. Rebuilding trust takes time, and I can't just forget everything that's happened. But I want to believe that we can work through this," she says, her voice quivering.

Harry nods, relieved that she's willing to give him a chance. He reaches out and gently takes her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I know it won't be easy, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I love you, Y/N, and I'll spend the rest of my life proving that to you."

Y/N's eyes soften, and she leans in to kiss him. It's a tender and heartfelt kiss, filled with all the love they've shared over the years. It's a kiss that signifies a fresh start, a chance to rebuild what was broken.

As they pull away, Y/N gives him a small smile, the first genuine one he's seen in days. "Okay, Harry, let’s try and fix it.”

Harry nods, his heart feeling lighter than it has in days. "I know, and I'm ready for all of it. I just want us to be okay again."

Y/N places her hand on his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "We'll get through this together, Harry. But it's going to take time and effort from both of us."

Harry leans into her touch, closing his eyes briefly before opening them to meet her gaze. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes, love. I promise."

And in that moment, as they sit together on the couch, holding onto each other, they both believe that maybe, just maybe, they can find their way back to the love that had once been so strong.

So they do it. They go to counselling for the first time and Harry is a shaking bundle of nerves and Y/N is internally breaking down. Because what if it doesn’t work out? They sit in the waiting room, the minutes ticking away slowly, the tension in the air palpable. Harry's leg bounces nervously, and he can't help but feel like he's about to face a judgmental tribunal. He glances at Y/N, who is lost in her thoughts, her fingers nervously playing with the edge of her sweater. He reaches out and gently touches her hand, offering a reassuring smile. She looks at him and manages a small, trembling smile in return.

When their names are called, they enter the therapist's office together. The therapist, a calm and empathetic woman, greets them warmly and invites them to sit down on the cozy couch. The session begins, and Harry and Y/N take turns talking about their feelings, their fears, and their hopes. It's difficult at first, and there are moments when tears flow freely. They confront the pain they've caused each other and the scars it has left on their relationship.

The therapist guides them through various exercises, helping them communicate more effectively and teaching them strategies for rebuilding trust. They start to see the deep-seated issues that led to their problems in the first place, and it's not easy to confront those truths.

As the session progresses, Harry's nerves start to ease. He realises that this process isn't about judgment but about healing. Y/N, too, begins to feel a glimmer of hope as they explore ways to rebuild their relationship.

After the first session ends, they step out into the daylight, and Harry takes Y/N's hand in his, squeezing it gently. "How are you feeling?" he asks softly.

Y/N looks at him, her eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. "Nervous, but I think it's a step in the right direction. We have to try, Harry, for ourselves and for Elle.”

Harry nods in agreement, his heart heavy with the weight of their journey ahead. "I know, love. And I promise you, no matter how hard it gets, I'm with you every step of the way.”

A/N: Finally the end to this series. Thank you for all the love on it :)

Tags: @lukesaprince @harryspirate @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @lilyrmason12 @styleslover-1994 @stylesfever @kathb59 @indierockgirrl @bxbyysstuff @gills-lounge @lomlhstyles @opheliaofficial07 @behindmygreyeyes @gem1712 @stylesmoonlight12 @babyiamperfectforyou @velvetballaspark @harrys-flower @macy-tpwk @mema10 @jerseygirlinca @daphnesutton @rafaaoli

#harry styles #hslot #love on tour #harrystyles #harry styles au #harry styles fic #harry styles fics #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles ceo #harry styles angst #tolerate it #taylor swift #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 22 days

Note

Am I the Asshole for the way I played Risk?

👑🎲= Emoji Identification

This is super low-stakes, happened a few years ago, and I don't even talk to anyone in this play group anymore, but I still need to know.

Me (21 at the time F); My Ex-GF: G (24 F); Her brother-A (19 M); Mutual Friend- P (19 M)

So, we were all together, hanging out, playing Risk, and other games. So we start the Risk game. We each started in one of the four corners. At first it seems to be going well. After a few rounds, it seems like G and A are avoiding attacking eachother, despite being right next to each other. Me and P are fighting over borders. The usual. G and A, especially, have been attacking me and P almost exclusively. Well after several more rounds, G and A let slip that they do, in fact, have an alliance. It was kind of obvious at that point, anyway.

Here is where I am honestly confused. So since G and A were in an alliance, me and P started to discuss one as well, since we were currently playing defense and not doing well against G and A's more or less combined armies.

G lost her mind. Started accusing us of cheating and metagaming, and conspiring against her to make her lose (she likes to brag that she never lost a Risk game). I told her, that alliances were apart of the game, of course we are trying to win, and she already said that her and A are in an alliance! So what is the problem? She just kept insisting that our making an alliance was metagaming because we only did it because of what they were doing, which shouldn't impact us at all. But I argued it was a strategy game. You are supposed to react to your opponents strategies. And alliances aren't against the rules. We went back and forth for a few minutes. P eventually placated her and promised we wouldn't make an alliance. I was annoyed but gave in.

The game continued, with G and A not attacking eachother, and focusing on me and P. After a couple of rounds, G got mad again, because P and I weren't attacking eachother. I tried to explain, that with two armies attacking my borders, it doesn't make sense to provoke yet another army, when I need to defend against the first two. She insisted this was metagaming, and we should be attacking eachother. P and A were desperately trying to stop our arguing and I considered just quitting the game, but A convinced me to keep playing.

Apparently A was also fed up, because he decided to backstab G and attacked her. Unfortunately, she already had quite a big army at this point due to some lucky rolls and placements, so he was annihilated. Eventually, P and A were wiped out and me and G were the only armies left (I eventually turned on P and attacked him, mostly just to get G to stop yelling at me). I decided I didn't want to play against just her, so I proposed a draw and just divy the map up. She agreed and the game ended.

I thought that was the end of it, but for months after, she kept complaining about how me, A, and P were conspiring against her. She even brought it up to her therapist, and then later woke me up to yell at me about how the alliance I made with P hurt her and how we were unsportsmanlike and cheating, and she can't trust me. I said she should let it go already, it was just a game, and we didn't even make the alliance she was accusing us of. That she even got to keep her winning streak. And yelling at me and accusing me of cheating and all of that was just uncalled for and hurtful. She brought it up to her therapist again, who said we should both just drop it (even through I never brought it up to begin with, but I digress) and no apologies were issued.

TLDR: Ex-GF threw a hissy fit during a game of Risk because me and another player wanted to make an alliance after she already made one. It apparently caused her immense emotional trauma and hurt. I just wanted to play a game and yelled at her after being accused of cheating in a board game.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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humongousgothskeletonfarm · 13 days

Text

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

“It’s not about size, anyway.” “Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” “Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” “I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. “Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. “Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” “I do not want you to look.” It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” “Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

#aftg #all for the game #tsc #tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #jean moreau #jerejean #jeremy knox #catalina alvarez #laila dermott #neil josten #david wymack #stuart hatford #nora sakavic

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ace-of-gay · 11 months

Text

A Mountain is home

I currently dont have a masterlist set up for this collection but i hope you enjoy this none the less, this will eventually be posted on ao3 but i dont have an account currently

Warnings: age regression (not very in depth) , self destructive stimming like scratching pulling on tail thrashing and hitting ones self during a neurodivergent meltdown, quite panicked reader, reader has trauma, reader is a full ghoul this time cause this is still my interpretation of a fantasy universe <3, cuddles and ghoul-piles!!!

The word muzzle is used multiple times over but is referring to a mouth cover to symbolize silence

I headcannon mountain as autistic, no shoes for lifeee yup thats all

age regression is a coping mechanism that can be both voluntary and/or involuntary it is entirely safe and reccomended by therapists if they believe it would be effective for said person but as mentioned for some people it is entirely unpredictable, if this makes you uncomfortable please scroll away thank you <3

Not betad or edited

Word count: 5,611words (it basically wrote itself)

Youd been summoned just a week ago and it already seems as though youre once again fading into the background, no one had taught you if someone of your neurotype was acceptable in todays world, the bok-hord in hell or library as you read above the one here in the church of sin was not at all up to date on whats acceptable yet.

This is your second time being summoned, your first ritual was terrifying but what made it worse is they thought you were impossible to become a domestic ghoul, the uncertainty of being sent back from this one weighed on you, if you went back again no one would be there for you.

Holding yourself back and biting your tongue from doing or saying anything including the strange chirps and trills that kept you regulated, taking it upon yourself to be even more docile and quieter than the tall ghoul behind the drums, no matter the situation not a peep has been heard from you, all you did was play your instrument, there was no jumping around putting on a presentation, the others however did so, its just practice but you hadnt earned your place, you could always be sent back for even the most minor of slip up, its happend before and you for sure wont let it happen again.

《~♡~》

Friday nights are prime for the others, the guys in a ghoul-pile and girls raiding the fridge for snacks while watching a film, in the common area designated for only ghouls no one wearing their mask but yourself, only passing through doing your best to keep in the shadows, if youre out of place surely youll be duely punished, the first time you were summoned your family and friends were disappointed to see you sent back but your mother worst of all had said she had expected it , you had no place yet, so your room was for you the closest to safety.

Locking the door to your room as soon as you returned; taking off themask and the muzzle of sorts, some ghouls had facepaint instead but you weren't vocal so there was no reason, finally now to a safe place you let everything fall from its people pleasing manner into what felt most like yourself, jumping up and down to get your blood flowing and thoughts swarming.

"Who needs others when you can feel at home just being yourself", clicking and pacing and flapping your hands you were trying to catch up to what your body demanded, but

It just kept spilling, from the deepest places in your mind, crevasses full of discomfort, confusion, irritation and just the most overwhelming feeling that could muster itself from your being.

Nothing was working, it was too late to regulate and your mind took to a melt down, shaking your head wasnt good enough, grabbing hold of your horns, you violently shake yourself around, tail whipping and slashing all around you, and than the crying.

Oh how the crying was the worst part, shoving the muzzle back on it didn't do much for silence but its still an attempt, everyones expectations ringing shrill in your ears, you didn't come from a happy home, your family torn apart by sinners from christs hall a completely different take on sin, as it caused harm.

Hands over your muzzle to silence just a bit more if possible and than the silent choked sobs, more physically painful but it wouldn't draw attention, thats the last thing you wanted, slamming your fists down against your thighs followed by tugging on your tail and scratching the spade of it until it hurt, the only thing that could regulate you was small jolts and shocks of pain and than it stopped, you were right back where you started, silent but this time you felt like a kit.

A tiny kit who got told that they need to learn to be normal, but for the time being there was the innocence, nothing would happen if you weren't, you were just different, and you were alone but you were still safe.

Putting the helmet back on, you take all of the blankets and pillows that are in your room and shove them under your bed, taking the cover sheet and creating a curtain between the floor and the frame, all of your tiny kit-like self holed up in one place, a place as small as the family and friends in your life had made you, maybe this time you were sent here to be safe.

Fixing up the nest you made under your bed you let yourself hide away from the world, be as small and pure as your mind could muster and let all the terrible feelings melt away, chirping and trilling quietly as you lay there eventually being held close and coddled by darkness, falling asleep you would not return to the common rooms until most necessary.

Grabbing food and hiding once more, at some point when you were in the library and had found scratch paper, a sketchbook , a couple pencils and a mess of tacks set out in a bin that had the word 'FREE' in print on it for anyone to partake in the activity of drawing, collecting the supplies and a few books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, and just a simple fairy tale, you embark back to your room.

Over the weekend you had covered the walls in the corner of the room under your bed with fantastical pictures of your dreams, and drawings of each ghoul and papas youve seen so far.

《~♡~》

When monday came it was back to breakfast and lessons in the morning, lunch after practice around noon and communal chores, the others were very loud today, as for yourself youd been silent like predicted but you could feel eyes on you and could hear bickering but nothing quite clear of their words.

making dinner for everyone was the last thing, it was easy, it was one thing your family didn't ridicule you over, your cooking made anyone who was having a bad day feel better, there was so much passion that anyone could see and taste.

your tail flowing in an easy, comforting sway and a smile hidden under your muzzle, the first smile to bare your face outside of your room and it felt like this was what would give you your place to stay.

Dishing everyones plates with your home-made meal and taking it to the ghouls and ghoulettes where they each were was apparently unexpected and out of their ordinary, but you had no idea, how would you when you hide away, maybe they would take that into consideration. This was also one of the first times you got to hear others address you, smiles and bright eyes shared when they where blown away by your cooking, you dished up yourself and sat at the island counter crouching on a wooden stool, sitting on them hurts the backs of your legs and crouching was more like hugging yourself anyway.

Soon enough people would march in putting their dishes in the sink giving a thankyou and a smile or a compliment to your cooking, slowly eating your food, savoring each bite, the comments from others causing your tail to pick up its sway with a little flick in it, maybe itll be okay.

You go to put your dish in the sink after rinsing it off when the tall guy from behind the drums approaches, while just as quiet as you he was also playful like the others.

"Hey y/n dinner was amazing, i cant wait til next week to see what you come up with" he exclaimed, "im mountain by the way, i know i didn't exactly introduce myself at all since you first got here, we wanted you to settle in, you seemed very stressed" he added before someone shouted for him from the other room, leaving with a smile and wave.

There was no expectation for you to respond, no expectation to look someone in the eyes, you let out a small chirp joined by a small movement in your hands.

《~♡~》

Back in your room you let your tail wag wildly, pulling the books you'd been reading up on, you had gotten from them the fact that over the years some churches of sin have allowed a better understanding and acceptance for people and ghouls alike with neurodivergencies to be better recognized and seen as equals, there were things they didn't tell you about back in hell when you were told of your neurotype, like your sounds and movement for self regulation was called stimming and that it can be harmful but it can also be helpful just depending on the purpose and action, you had copied information from the book down on resources and important things you thought would help, these books were the most helpful and the fairy-tale was perfect however you needed a new one since youve read this one so many times you knew every line, you take the books back to the library.

Putting them back on their respective shelfs you pick out two new fairy-tales and stop by the free stuff bin, taking pencil lead an eraser and a new sketchbook, youve already filled your first one in just a few days, you dont have anymore room on the walls around your nest for more loose paper sketches so you need the sketchbook instead.

On your walk back to your room admiring the stained glass windows, lost in thoughts somewhere between regression and big feelings, letting them mingle and intertwine,

So lost in thought you dont see when papa copia started coming closer until he spoke up, "good evening y/n" a small scream torn from you as you are brought back to right now practically jumping out of your skin, your eyes big as you process who it is, the first time anyone has heard your voice in any way and it obviously had to be a panicked scream, this wouldn't sit well with your family, your mind shifting farther into regression, just wanting to be in your room again.

"My apologies little one" littleone? Is it that obvious you think to yourself, "it was not my intention to frighten you, i see youve taken a liking to the library, what books have you got there?" Hanging your head in shame and slight worry you show him the two fairy-tales and he breaks out in a grin "i remember reading those, i might have to look at them once more! A very good choice, Molto bene indeed" finishing up your silent-sided conversation you rush quickly back to your room, theres been too much interaction and what did papa copia mean by 'little one?'

《~♡~》

After a few days of this halfsided banter from the ghouls and papa youre started to feel a little more comfortable.

A knock on your door pulled you from your slumber, the first couple times had made their way into your dream, you get up and open the door to the ghouls and ghoulettes standing in the hall, a few smiles making their way on a few faces, and thats when you realize youre not wearing your mask or muzzle, heat rushing to your ears and cheeks causing your cool grey skin to tint purple, hanging your head in embarrassment while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, "were sorry to wake you but were meeting early today because papa has a meeting with the clergy and after lessons and practice mix we have the rest of the day off", nodding you return into your room to get changed and to put on your muzzle and mask, the group waiting outside of your room for you to walk with them.

Lessons and practice going by quickly you find yourself in the library,helmet off, curled up and tucked into one of the couches reading another fairy-tale, looking intently at the pictures, your eyes irritated from not getting all of the sleep you normally get, theyre slowly drifting shut, you can only stay awake so much longer before your mind takes you to a rem sleep.

Waking up to mountain shaking you awake he smiles gently, "hey sleepy head, i was looking for you, its lunch time but it seems as though youre tired, we'll get you to your room and ill bring lunch to you there" he was a gentle giant ghoul and although you haven't said anything to anyone youre starting to warm up to him, he puts a book mark in the book and helps you up handing you your mask, you decide to just carry it with you.

Opening your door he hands you the book and you set it down atop your bed along with your mask, "do you want me to knock when i come back?" Thinking for a moment and shaking your head 'no' you'll probably just be asleep again, taking off the muzzle you set it with your mask getting ontop of your empty bed you curl up waiting while slightly dozing.

When he returns he walks in with your plate in hand, "wheres you stuff bud? Did they move you into an unready room?" You once more shake your head, pulling up the bedsheet curtain putting your nest on display, "aaah a safe spot, i completely understand, im here if you need anything, just holler my way" he kids while stepping out.

"Can you- stay?" You mutter through a slightly broken voice, catching him off guard, youre not sure why you asked but he seems easy to open up to, hes kinda like you.

"Id be honored"

You sat there mostly quiet eating but occasionally you'd respond and every time he would be looking elsewhere but the smile on his face said he was paying attention.

The more you got to know him the more you realized youre very similar to him.

《~♡~》

The next couple weeks youd spend lunch with him sharing stories while you sat in your nest and him at your desk, he talked about how fond the ghouls and ghoulettes and even the papas were of you, they all looked forward to you hopefully someday talk full sentences with them but for now with you slowly coming out of your shell, wearing your mask and muzzle less often and spending more time somewhat near the group, for now they were content watching you grow and become more of yourself.

You gave each person a sketch youd do of them from observation and mountain even brought you another sketchbook when he noticed you were running low on pages, you told him why youve been scared to come out of your room and your past experience with your previous summoning, you however didn't tell him why it failed but he understood itll take some time.

《~♡~》

One evening after another one of your delicious meals you were invited to watch a movie with everyone, accepting the offer you show up in your hoodie you just recently bought and pajama pants, socks with sticky tabs on the bottom so you didn't slip on the marble floors, you balled yourself up in a beanbag chair, others had grabbed pillows or stuffed animals from the pile in the corner, you go over to look through the pile, pulling out a well loved multi-textured dog plush, smiling and taking it over to your spot with you, focused on the textures, "very good choice little wisp" mountain hummed, your tail thumping against the bean bag chair, your cheeks and ears dusted purple once more, "i haven't held one since i was very small" you return.

After the movie you gave the plush one last hug before placing it atop the pile, "you know if you want you can take it to your room with you, we have them here for everyone" he encouraged but you shook your head, "he would miss his friends and i dont want to take someone elses opportunity of loving him away", little did you know the ghouls left in the room all felt their hearts melt, this wasnt new to them, theyve met ghouls and people whose minds are permanently part kit, they wouldn't say anything until you said something first, youre part of the family, you deserve to do it on your own terms.

Just the next evening when you returned from the library you come to find a black gift

Bag infront of your door with a tag that has your name on it.

Entering your room you set everything down before you open the bag, youre met with a soft multi-texture plush almost identical to the one from the other night but this one had weighted feet,and a book of several fairy-tales with a few purple tabs on certain pages along with it. A card that says, "a plush specifically for you and your love, i hope you give him a wonderful name, and a book my mother read to me when i was just a kit, one that you dont have to take back to the library"

Holding the plush out infront to look at him your headspace slipping quickly, thankfully you were in the safety of your bedroom and he would fit perfectly into your nest with you.

With plenty of time between now and dinner time, your chores being done and someone else being on dinner duty you took right now to relax.

in comfortable clothes you lay down in your nest with your book and the stuffy you named chip cause he reminded you of chocolate chip cookies, you named him late at night when you were feeling very small and it just stuck.

Closing your eyes when the words in the book were adding to the strain, from all the light today, hunger pulling a whine from you, if you slept for now youd wake up at the perfect time to eat dinner, you might even sit with rain and talk about the books youve read recently outside of the fairy-tales.

Being pulled out of your dreams by someone gently shaking you awake and calling your name, confusion built it way to your face, he doesn't need to knock but normally he chooses to, what brought him in?

"I know youre sleepy but its dinner time and i know you like your routine, i tried knocking but you were out cold" he states after reading your scrunched and slightly confused face, handing you your bowl, tonight cirrus and swiss made dinner together.

Mountain sits on the floor across from you as you both ate in a comfortable silence, thats one thing about him, he tries to make sure hes not being a trigger for anyone with misophonia.

Eating slowly and running your hand along the textures of your stuffy, "s'named chip" you just barely say aloud, causing him to smile, "thats the most perfect name for him, does he give the best of cuddles?" Nodding youre completely unaware of the fact hes talking to you as if you were a kit, he was just being kind and attentive for all you knew, and while yes thats completely true he also saw through your silence, hes talked to semi-permanent kit-minded ghouls and he knew it was for safety of mind.

Both of you done with dinner, you pull out your sketchbook as he gets up to take the dishes to the kitchen, standing in the doorway looking down at you with a smile upon his face, "do you want me to come back after i put the dishes in the kitchen?" Watching as you ponder for a moment before nodding, looking up at him, never once more than now have you longed for physical contact with someone but you little mind craves it.

He returned quickly to see you moving your nest about, your movements less exact and a little choppy, he could see the irritation when the blankets wouldn't flatten out so he got down to help, fixing it for you he sat back on his knees when you planted yourself down closer to the wall than normal, you pat the spot next to you while holding chip close to your chest.

"You want me to cuddle little wisp?" He questioned already taking his jacket off before you hummed in response.

Cuddling was very common amongst ghouls so there was no questions asked as to why

It was naturally so second nature for most.

Curling into him he holds you close, your head resting on his chest, you could just fall asleep right now but you fought that instinct so you could savor a moment of feeling completely safe, where youre not being overstimulated.

"When i was first summoned i read those exact same books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, i remember reading that someone with a mind like the one both of us have can easily struggle in public environments or around new people"

He retold, causing you to question how he knew you read them.

"Oh wisp, i can hear just how stirring you mind can be, i saw you walking back to the library to return them, i want you to know that you are safe here with me and all of the others, im honored to cuddle, i didn't join a ghoul-pile until several months of being here."

Nodding to yourself, taking a moment to process his words when your own join the party.

"Jus cant do touch with others almost ever, makes brain hurt and than hurts me aswell"

Your eyes started to sleepily flutterand he picks up the fairy-tales book he brought you, opening it up to one of the purple tabs, some of his favorites.

He read you to sleep, when his pants were starting to put deep seam imprints into his legs causing him discomfort, he goes to leave the room but is stopped by you plea for him to stay, "ill be right back little mouse."

And like promised he did return in much more comfortable clothes, a blanket and a comfort item of his own, cuddling back up with you halfway ontop of him, covering the both of you with his blanket, setting your temporarily forgotten of stuffie in the corner above your head along with his.

《~♡~》

From than forward you and mountain spent Friday nights in your room reading and cuddling, going to lessons and practice together, he was helping you open up, when it would be your night to make dinner, which you had requested to have more than once a week instead of sink duty because soggy wet hands felt offensive to your skin, he would sit at the island watching unless one of his chores intercepted that period of time or if another ghoul requested his company.

It took five months to ease you out of you shell, at four you had brought up the regression and neurodivergency topics to the others and than out of fear you hid in your room for the weekend until dew stopped by inviting you to watch a movie with the others which you happily obliged to do so, remembering that its okay to be around others and be yourself, that night you sat on the couch behind the ghoul-pile falling asleep with chip in your arms, your tail intertwined with mountains.

Not wearing your mask unless you needed a break or everyone else was, copia had taken you aside at one point to find fabrics that looked like the others but were sensory safe so when it was time for uniforms you would feel comfortable.

At night you would go out to the garden in secret and jump around, spin, stomp, trill, chirp, coo and so much more. It helped tremendously.

《~♡~》

Tonight unlike the others was much louder in your head and harder to feel okay, already regressed you tried stomping around and flailing your hands but without meaning to you were once more pulling on your tail and scratching it painful and raw, the garden was closed for the night with new fertilizer being put down, taking chip you trail your way down to one of the last rooms, the shiny name plate reading 'mountain' you gave a slightly too heavy knock on the door, rocking back and forth on your feet, he answers and is suprised to see you standing there with deep grey tear tracks down your face, chip under your arm and your tail in hand scratching as you fumble with your words.

Letting you in he pats the bed for you to sit down while he turns on the light and pulls a shirt on over your head, sniffles and hiccups break your silence, he take your hands and holds them for a moment, watching the spade of your tail drop small dots of blood onto the marble floor, "come with me little wisp, its okay" he leads you to the bathroom, picking you up and setting you on the counter, lifting his tail for you to hold on, he knew full well you wouldn't scratch his, tracing the scars on his tail had you questioning if he did the same.

As he took hydrogen peroxide cleaning the small cuts and scrapes pulling a hiss from you in reaction, "i know hun, im sorry ive got to be mean and clean it but weve got to take care of it so it doesn't get icky ya-know?" He soothes, "you see the ones on my tail, theyre from the same thing, sometimes i almost start scratching at them again but i normally just hold my tail and put lotion on the scars to feel like im cleaning it up once more"

Once hes done patching you up he once again takes your hands leading you to his bed and looking through his closet. His room was well decorated and filled, a queen sized pillow top mattress and black wooden four poster bed frame against the wall, he had a collection of old trinkets including a camera that takes film, your father used to have one, several gas masks, a homophone record player. On the wall above his desk was a cork board coverd in the drawing youd given him, small trinkets littler his desk, before you could look further he brings over a box of similar small trinkets setting them infront of you.

"You can dump the box out if you want, find whatever works best, i have plenty more" dumping them out you turn the box upside down organizing them, finding three, liking them the most you put the duplicates of them and all the others away back in the box holding onto the three youd picked out, he puts the box under his bed, seating himself next to you, leaning into his side as he turns on one of the movies you'd taken interest in, "hey wisp can i hold chip?", nodding against his chest, paying deep attention to his heartbeat how slow and rhythmic, tapping your tail against the bed in the same beats, occasionally humming and trilling, his left hand running up and down your back, occasionally running though your hair gently.

"Youre gonna be okay little mouse, ive got you".

《~♡~》

Your first ghoul pile was something very special, stuffies piled everywhere, they all had banded together to make the room perfect for your comfort, your favorite music playing in the background, dew and sunshine had found you in the library quietly crying flicking around one of the fidgets mountain gave you

Humming and rocking back and forth, chip sitting ontop of your tail, you couldn't find mountain and you didn't want to taint the energy of your nest. Sunshine sat with you as dew went to find mountain, she lifted chip for a moment, carefully intertwining her tail with yours setting chip on your tails.

Dew returned around 10 minutes late with a smile upon his face, taking your open hand with sunshine carrying chip, they took you through the abbey to the lounge where the blanket, stuffy and pillow pile was spread across the floor, mountain and all the other were waiting, some of them already cuddled up, and others walking around, drawing the curtains and dimming lights, filling up a cooler to keep near the pile, mountain lead you to the group, curling himself around you with chip between the two of you, sunshine still connected to you laying back to back with you.

The first time being so close to the others all together and for once your brain lets it happen, youre not sure whose hand is running through your hair but it causes you to chirp, nuzzling you head into the hand.

Swiss tapping his forehead against yours, "youre welcome to stay as long as you need, this is your pile."

Theyre all so much more calm and centered on one another when theyre cuddled, with the warmth from all of the bodies it made it very easy to slip into a smaller headspace.

Cirrus reaching over mountain to wipe away the tear tracks with a wet cloth, they already had a feeling youd be disoriented with the news of the tour starting at the end of this month and the arrival of the outfits.

Cooing and trilling, others trilling back made you excitedly laugh.

《~♡~》

Youve been attached to at least one ghoul at all times, they knew you liked holding tails until you had to use your charm to pass as human, copia gave you a hug before he headed out first.

This was the first time youve seen mountain wear shoes, it looked as abnormal as it felt to not have a tail.

Standing in your place when papa introduces the band, not paying attention to him but instead the piece in your ear counting down til the lights cut off and mountain and dew are counted in, mountain looks to you taking an exasperated deep breath telling you to take one aswell, feeling the lights go out and the beat of mounts drums through the floor, counting the cymbal crashes and its time for you to join in, as soon as your hands start moving, you feel it, absolute euphoria, youre radioactive with energy, the fans going wild, youre practically thrashing as you play, prancing around and jumping when youve got time to spare you run up front adding flair and showmanship to the ceremony, interacting with the others.

By the end youre absolutely drained, enough energy to hop about and screech getting rid of the last bit of energy, if all of the tour is like this youre gonna have an absolute blast, mountain hands you a couple drumsticks for you to throw after taking a bow, and than perching yourself in 'frog crouch' on mountains riser next to his drums watching everyone go about their ending routines, people throwing stuff on stage, bracelets and flags to hand made gothic style stuffed animals, the ghouls picking some stuff up to look at em, handing them to the designated ghouls if there was a name and handing the rest to anyone else like yourself, the ghoulettes and even papa, swiss picked up a couple hand made stuffed animals bringing them to sit next to you.

When it was time to leave the stage mountain came over opening his arms, you lean forward wrapping your arms around his shoulders and he sets you down on you feet, grabbing the teddy's leaning into his side, hes completely drenched in sweat but so are you, it was practically a work out so it was worth it.

In the van having let down the human charm you wash up and slip into pajamas, the stuffies and bracelets set in your bunk you stare out the window waiting flicking your fidget around, Cumulus walks by stopping to give you a hug, "you did great wisp, your energy was so contagious. ", nodding and tapping your forehead against hers in a silent communication, you were absolutely exhausted.

As soon as mountain is out of the shower you push yourself into his chest, finally time to rest, and with your favorite ghoul no doubt, he hands you chip, folding into one another he holds you gently, as he pulls out the fairy tale he reads your favorites in the book, looking down when youre not humming out your regular vocal stims he realizes youve fallen asleep with your head on his chest, his hands running up and down your spine, tail occasionally thumping against the bed followed by nuzzling against him, "sleep well little wisp, you were so radiant tonight.

《~♡~》

Your room at the church of sin was finally decorated, still sleeping in your nest, the ghouls helped you assemble a proper loft bed with the mattress from your previous bed as part of the nest below, stuffies from the tour everywhere and bracelets hung on a set of racks to display them, posters scatterd on your walls, some plushies piled on the top matteress but keeping that open for the most part if someone wants to hang out. A bookshelf full of normal books and fairy-tales, a starry curtain over your window with a matching opposite one around your nest. Chip in his spot as always hes constantly waiting for your cuddles.

Drawings of both your own and others, many interpretation of what fans saw you as, they call you gargoyle, but to the ghouls youre just a little wisp or little mouse, you were your most accurate self, you were finally at home.

(Accidentally posted the unfixed version, sorry bout that)

#nameless ghouls x little reader #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghouls x gn reader #nameless ghouls x gender neutral reader #nameless ghouls x fem reader #nameless ghouls x f! reader #nameless ghouls x male reader #nameless ghouls x m! reader #nameless ghouls x ghoul reader #nameless ghouls x agere reader #nameless ghouls x neurodivergent reader #nameless ghouls x autistic reader #autistic reader #mountain x reader #mountain earth ghoul x reader #agere reader #alternative universe

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addieisnotawriter · 5 months

Text

Confessions to Getting Caught

Ted Lasso x fem!reader

i have no idea what this is, i found this in my drafts and thought ‘what the hell’ and wanted to share this mini drabble that i don’t even remember what i wrote in this lmao

—

"You're not leaving!" Ted slammed your office door open, startling you and Colin who was there for a session. You whipped your head towards him with a pissed off look on your face.

"Ted!" You hissed, pointing out that you're in a session.

"Oh hell, sorry." Ted just awkwardly stood there, embarrassed. He scratched the back of his head and then waved at Colin, apologizing to him.

"Go outside and give me five minutes to wrap things up." You muttered, shaking your head.

"Yep, gotcha. Sorry." Ted walks back out, shutting the door behind him as he left.

"Sorry 'bout that Colin. Where were we?" You apologized, giving a smile.

Colin went back to talking and you finished your session ten minutes later. Colin kept repeating his mantra as he left your office while a determined look on his face. You gave a stern look to Ted when you saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"I am so sorry. I didn't know you were in a session." Ted apologized again for the third time.

"Please knock next time." You replied, waving him into your office. He walks in and you shut your door behind you.

"So you heard?" You asked, walking up to him while crossing your arms together.

"Yeah I heard. Why didn't you tell me?" Ted was angry which surprised you. He's always so calm and happy.

"I was going to. But apparently it got around before I could tell you." You replied honestly and calmly.

"I won't let this happen! There's no way in hell you're leaving!" Ted yelled, throwing his hands in the air. He walks away from you, running his hands through his hair and down his face.

"Ted.." You spoke softly, "it was bound to happen. I was only hired to stay on till the end of the season. It's the end of the season, therefore there's no reason for me to stay on." You reasoned with him, hoping it'll calm him down a bit.

"I will talk to Rebecca, get her to hire you for another season!" Ted started pacing, "She'll say yes, she will definitely say knowing it's you. We can-" You cut him off and stopped him by putting your hands on his shoulders, turning him to face you.

"Why are you so hell bent on keeping me here?" You whispered, furrowing your brows at him.

"Because.. I don't want you to leave." He sighed, his eyes softening when he looks at you.

"Why? Ted, if this is about therapy, I can give you names of the best people I know around here to take over. You're going to be fine without me." You spoke softly, letting your hands fall to your sides.

"It's not that. It's.. I-I.." He trailed off, trying to find the words to admit his feelings. He never thought in a million years he would find someone who cared for him as much as you did.

Granted, you were his therapist and that's your job, but there was something different about your relationship with him. You were a friend to him and he wanted you to be more than that, even if it meant having to change therapists.

You ignited something in him that he hasn't felt in a long time, and he wanted more. He felt this way since the day of Rebecca's father's funeral. He just didn't realize those feelings until his conversation with the Diamond Dogs a few weeks after. Though they didn't know you were his therapist in which they said to tell you how he felt but he just played it off. He truly couldn't tell you how he felt because he didn't want to compromise anything. He liked how things were and didn't want anything to change. But now? Now, this was his last chance to say anything before you left.

"I like you. A lot. I have feelings that I probably shouldn't be having but I can't help it. I want you to stay because I can't imagine my life without you." He admits, releasing a heavy breath after.

You stood there stunned. You never thought in a million years he would say something like that to you. You had to admit, you had feelings for him for a long time. But, you played it off and stayed professional with Ted and sometimes friends. Close friends. Though you complained to Keeley and Rebecca that you liked him a lot but couldn't say anything. They never understood why you couldn't tell him because you never said anything about being his therapist. So, you just stayed quiet, and let things continue the way they were. Now things were different.

"Ted.." You whispered after realizing you were gaping and he started to get nervous.

"I know you're my therapist and this crosses a lot of lines between us. Now, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but I just wanted you to know how I felt. I'll leave you be." He puts his hands in his pockets again and starts to leave.

Before he could reach the door, you walked up to him and turned him around. You stared into his eyes then his lips and back up to his eyes before grabbing his shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss, your lips crashed into his, tickling against his mustache. He grunted lightly at the impact but didn't mind as he kissed you back, deepening the kiss as he did.

You pulled away, breathing heavily and looking down at the floor before looking back up at him, "I feel the same way and I can't imagine my life without you either. I don't want to leave at all because you're here." You whispered, your hands moving up to his face, your thumbs rubbing his cheeks lightly.

"Then don't. Please stay." His arms snaked your waist, pulling you in closer. He softly bumped his forehead into yours and closed his eyes, sighing as he did. You felt his hot breath against your lips, and wanted more right now.

"God, I need you so badly right now." You muttered, and he chuckled before pulling you into a hard kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he picks you up, letting you wrap your legs around his waist and he carried you to the couch. He softly places you down on the cushions, and laid on top, his right knee and elbows holding him up so he wasn't laying completely on top of you.

You continued to make out with him until you were suddenly interrupted by a door opening and a voice talking. You pulled away quickly to see Keeley there but she didn't see you and Ted yet as she was distracted by her phone.

"So, I decided to plan a going away party for you cause I thought why not and holy shit!" Keeley squealed when she finally looked up from her phone to see you and Ted on the couch together.

"Keeley!" You gaped, shocked to have gotten caught by your best friend. Ted gives a confused look after you pulled away then his eyes went wide when he heard you say Keeley's name, quickly turning to see her standing there.

"Hey Keeley!" Ted drawled on, giving an awkward smile when he looked up at her.

"You know what? I can come back! Keep doing what you're doing!" Keeley starts running out of your office, then comes running back in and leans on the door frame, "thank God you two weren't naked, yea? Could've been a lot worse." She giggled and left, shutting the door before she did.

"Knock next time!" You yelled out, sighing when you know she was possibly out of reach to hear you.

"That is embarrassing." You muttered, covering your face to hide the redness that was slowly growing.

"Hey like she said, it could've been a lot worse." Ted crawls off your body and gets up, grabbing your hands to pull you up off the couch.

You groaned that your moment got interrupted, but then you thought it was good it got interrupted. You didn't know where things could've gone if Keeley didn't walk in here.

It would’ve been amazing either way, you knew that for sure.

#jason sudeikis #ted lasso #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso x you #ted lasso x y/n

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aqours · 6 months

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ok i REAAAAAALLY need to make a dedicated sideblog for this shit now i realize bc this game is gonna fucking fully get me dragged into this discourse so i'm gonna make an active effort to stop putting these on main, but i can't see myself saying more beyond this in general but ANYWAAAAYS

so i recently made this post about the cognitive dissonance regarding this game and people using fucking CALL OF DUTY a game that is more or less a recruitment drive to make the US military look cool and try to get kids to join up and that GTA's wanted system is actually NOT rewarding you or something to try to play a dick measuring contest with coffin but this interaction really interested me and i wanna talk about it bc i just blocked them after they refused to answer the last question but this is a very specific kind of gaslighting tactic i'm very familiar with from my own days as an anti

i think p much all of us who are used to engaging with this discourse are used to like y'know, being called awful horrible disgusting things. this is not the first time some fucking weird random person came onto my content asking me if i was a kid didler or wanted to fuck my brother. ain't gonna be anywhere near the last time either folks, but i and Lord God knows that's not the case so i don't care what a rando on the internet says but here's the thing: you can't "win" this, but they want to win it. no matter what you say you are the absolute worst kind of dreg of society that should be shot behind a barn and no amount of anything would work. if i actually pulled a list of sourced all that would have happened was they would've doubled down on calling me an inc*s*ious p*d* that I would be willing to use articles probably written by "people like me." because YOU don't care about "winning" this argument, you just wanna get the facts out on your end. it's a catch-22 folks, nothing you say will get you out of it!

i started by calling them a karen, they immediately escalated the living FUCK out of it and tried to trap me in this catch-22 to keep feeling morally superior to me. me saying i don't have such desires and never will isn't enough because i like this game. nothing but me renouncing it will change it.

but here's the thing about antis- they fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it when you turn it on them. look at the difference. look at the difference between they were the one throwing the catch-22 at me vs. the other way around. what about you? you just came onto my post to harass me, so i'll say it back. how about you? are you just accusing me of these horrible things because you are projecting your thoughts on me? you told me to get a therapist: so maybe you're the one that needs help if so!

violent video games must encourage violence, riiiiight? and you support it because it's violent. Game of Thrones had in*e*t in it so everyone who likes it also is the same. and Demon Slayer, where the pfp is from is violent, so you support it. the main protag's little sister also gets a superpowered form where she gets physically older and a tits out kinda look. so clearly YOU want to see your sister in the same way, right?

and it went as expected. you can see the tone going from smug jerking off with a shit-eating grin to just annoyed while smelling their own farts like it's a rose. and the moment i started doing the same uh i got NO fucking answers and they stormed off. i waited half an hour for a response before blocking them

so why am i typing up this walltext? because i used to be an anti. i fucking guarantee you i would've called everyone who liked this game [insert horrible things] like 7-9 years ago. so let me tell you, you know what pisses off antis more than anything? more than ANYTHING? turning this catch-22 bullshit on them. this is the only way you can end this miserable conversation without blocking them.

it's all one-sided bullshit and the moment you turn it on an anti it IMMEDIATLY shuts it down. this fucker KNEW the answer and you know it. so i wanted to share that, if you ever struggle with this shit: well the best thing you can do is block them and to give a fuck about winning their imaginary argument, but this is the only way to make the headache end otherwise. just throw the catch-22 right back and that's the end. thanks for reading!

#starposts #the coffin of andy and leyley #coffin of andy and leyley #proship #comship #long post #anti anti #discourse cw #ok i REALLY do want this shit off my main blog though i'm gonna start using a sideblog probably

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vintagemulti · 2 years

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rainfall (part four)

parings: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x pilot!reader

desc: this was the mission someone wasn’t coming back from; you were sure of it. you just hoped to god it wasn’t the man you loved.

warnings: swearing, angst, alcohol, sad bradley bc that is a warning itself, two oblivious idiots it’s painful, self-loathing/mental health struggles

a/n: ellie going back to her roots and doing a filler chapter for chapter four😵‍💫 i only plan on this being like 6/7 parts btw, this won’t be a long as my other series (which u should 100% read if you’re into moonknight) but i’ll see how ur goes. disclaimer that i know nothing about the navy or planes. also reblogs to wayyyyy more than likes so…

series masterlist

masterlist

if you didn’t understand the rules of american football before, it was no exaggeration to say that you were completely lost now. what could you say? you were never into sports as a child.

all you managed to gather was this - bradley was on your team, pass to him. don’t let someone take the ball and if someone has the ball; take it from them.

both of those things, at once. god, this was brutal.

it was too hot, too muggy - even though you were only wearing shorts and a sports bra, you still felt like you needed to strip and dive into an ice cold pool. maverick was crazy for making you do this in this heat; did he want you all to get heatstroke?

“are we ready to play?” he yelled from the opposite team’s side, whistle hanging from his lips.

“ready… go!”

and the game began - the boys instantly crashing int each other, because apparently none of them were taught that it’s just a game and that no, it’s not actually that deep.

but you wouldn’t try to tell them that, not now, anyways.

“rainfall, here!” fanboy called, throwing the ball straight to you.

catching it, you froze. who did you throw it to again? oh, yeah, bradley.

“rooster,” you called, aiming at him and throwing.

pheonix laughed from beside you, her memory of your god awful football skills serving her well. really - there was a million other sports you could play, but american football really, truly, was not one.

payback came into your field of view, charging at you full force. it took you a whole second to decide that no, it was not worth trying to defend it, and you should just get out of the goddamn way.

you stood back for a moment - watching everyone around you smiling and completely immersed in the game, even maverick was playing; his duties surrounding the mission completely slipping his mind.

and it was in that exact moment that you felt completely, utterly, wholly useless.

it didn’t happen a lot - the feeling you had. sure, you’d struggled with depression in your teenage years, but it was something you’d gotten help for - you were better.

but in a job like this, where you were so used to having control over everything, the moments where you felt useless and unwanted hit harder than ever.

so you did what your therapist had told you to do all those years ago - walk away. you walked away from the group, none of them even noticing your absence.

well, that’s what you thought.

bradley watched you leave, not even taking a look back at your teammates, his face falling with every step you took. he knew about your mental health struggles, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty - had he cause this?

his actions, everything that happened last night; was this is fault?

he knew that it would take forever to explain things to you, even longer for you to forgive him. but fuck - in that moment, as you got further and further away from the group, bradley wished that he hadn’t done anything last night.

the ball was thrown to him, but he didn’t care. you were his priority; you’d always been his priority, always would be. nothing could ever change that.

“rooster!” payback called, hands up in confusion as bradley completely missed the ball.

picking it up from where it had fallen beside him, bradley gave it a half-assed toss, not even checking his aim; he didn’t care where it landed.

maverick had stopped to look at him now, already half knowing what had changed bradley’s mood so quickly. the younger boy was stood completely still, eyes fixed on where you had been only a few minutes before.

“bradley,” maverick called to him, making him turn. “just go to her.”

it was like he had been waiting for someone to tell him, just needing those four words to be set into action, letting him move.

and so bradley turned back around, setting off in your footsteps. a walk turned into a jog, his eyes scanning all over for you, the only sign being your footsteps left on the sand.

it was colder inside. the short walk from the beach to the hard deck had cooled you down, just a little. but you couldn’t help the burning feeling in your gut, travelling up through your throat and reaching your eyes.

you stared into your own eyes, watching them get redder and clouding over with tears, not even trying to stop them before they fell, only adding to the mascara streaks down your face.

god, why were you like this? why did you have to be so goddamn sensitive about everything? it wasn’t like bradley cared - he was perfectly happy with carrie, or whatever the hell her name was.

you let yourself fall against the bathroom wall, slowly losing sight of yourself in the mirror as you slid down.

it took everything you had in you not to claw at your own skin, peel the flesh off until you were nothing but a puddle of blood and bones on the floor. but then again - what would that solve?

after spending most of your teenage years going through phases like this, you knew the feeling would pass in a day or so. but in that moment, if felt like it would last forever. the guilt of fucking someone else and secretly wishing it was bradley; bradley, the man who would never love you how you loved him.

bradley, the man who - unknown to you - had just walked into the hard deck.

letting your head hit against the wall, you closed your eyes. this part was the worst - the longing, the knowing that if bradley was there he would be able to fix everything. if only he looked at you the way you looked at him.

if only he didn’t want other girls; didn’t look at their asses when they walked past and for once, just once stared at you like that.

the funny thing was - he did. he constantly stared at you. when you weren’t looking.

“did y/n come in here?” bradley asked, looking around the bar for you but only seeing one, sad looking, glass sitting on the bar.

“she’s in the bathroom,” penny smiled over a crate of beer. “i thought you’d come looking.”

luckily for you, you hadn’t heard them speaking, if you had - what would you have done anyway? would you have wipes your tears, stood up and ran out the door? or would you have stayed exactly where you were, that selfish part inside you glad that bradley had finally come to save you?

speaking of which; he approached the door, getting as close to is as possible without pressing his ear against it, listening for any sign of you behind the door. a sign, which came in the form of a small, hitched breath; something that came out as more of a gasp.

“y/n?” he almost whispered, knuckles tapping against the door.

you froze. no - it couldn’t be, could it? had he really come running after you? fuck. fuck - no, it couldn’t be.

“y/n, you in there?” bradley repeated, your suspicions being completely confirmed - it was him.

“i’ll-” you started, voice betraying you with a crack. “i’ll just be a second.”

but bradley knew you far better than that.

“let me in, sugar,” the pet name had you choking back a sob, biting into your hand to stop the noise coming out. “please.”

it took you a moment to decide whether you’d let him in or not. a full moment - but the selfish side of you won. the little voice in the back of your head that sounded a little bit like pheonix; mumbling how you’d always had a chance with bradley.

the lock clicked, and bradley slowly turned the handle, not quite knowing what to expect on the other side.

what he did see, though, almost spilt his heart down the middle.

you were stood a few steps away, eyes, red and puffy, fixed firmly on the floor, you head tilted down - in a half-assed attempt to hide the mascara trails that ran down your cheeks. the way you were standing, like an insecure little girl, arms folded over your chest, hugging yourself.

any anger you thought bradley was holding towards you completely faded away.

“oh, sugar,” he stepped forward, almost scooping you into his arms. “what? what is it, darlin’?”

you felt so completely enveloped in him, it was completely blissful. his scent; the smell of beach water mixed with a spray of his cologne, his feel, everything - he had you completely covered in him.

“i can’t-” words failed you. “not here- i can’t.”

“alright,” bradley hummed, you could feel the vibration of his voice in his chest. “alright, sweets, i’ll take you home.”

bradley’s house was exactly the same as the last time you were there. even down to the jackets hanging on the back of the front door, everything was the same. after all - it had only been, what? a six months, since you’d been here? in his house?

he led you to his couch, sitting you down so gently you half thought he expected you to shatter.

but he didn’t - not really. you’d been friends with bradley long enough for him to know exactly what to do in this situation, how to handle you at your most vulnerable.

“alright, sugar, do you wanna talk to me?” bradley asked, sitting down next to you, hand wrapping around your shoulders.

“i just-” you took a breath. you just what? how in the hell were you meant to be honest with him and keep your oldest secret? “it’s nothing, really.”

maybe saying nothing at all would do the trick.

“it’s clearly not nothing,” his tone was so soft; like his voice was laced with bubble wrap to make sure he didn’t come across the wrong way. “y/n, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t-”

“i slept with hangman.”

the words came out quicker than you could have stopped them, tumbling out of your mouth and leaving you no room to even try to catch them.

“i know.”

“what?” you looked at him. “how?”

“i saw you,” bradley swallowed like the words were bitter on his tongue. “when i was driving cassie home.”

cassie - you’d almost forgot her name. but it still stung to hear him say it; say it like she was someone to him.

“oh, right.” you couldn’t hide the bitter tone.

“why do you feel bad for that, sugar? did he- did hangman do something? did he take advantage of you? i swear to god - i’ll kill him if-”

“no,” you almost laughed, placing a hand on his chest. “no, bradley, he didn’t. i just- i feel bad because… it wasn’t him i wanted to sleep with.”

bradley furrowed his eyebrows. “what do you mean?”

now you were fucked. you’d said too much - how did you get out of this hole you’d dug for yourself? “it doesn’t matter, really, i just feel like i used him, you know?”

“who would you rather be having sex with?”

the question took you completely by surprise. you’d spoke about sex with bradley before, it wasn’t a topic you’d ever shied away from - but how in the hell did you dodge this question?

“i-” your mind went blank. “i didn’t mean it like that, i mean- i was kinda mad, you know? i don’t like fucking like that, like a stress reliever. i dunno, it makes me feel like i’m using them.”

“why were you mad?”

you couldn’t lie this time. “‘cause you treated me like shit all last night.”

bradley hung his head, nodding. “i’m sorry. y/n, i mean that. i’d had one too many to drink and i was in a bad mood, i- i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. i really am sorry.”

smiling, you relaxed slightly. communication was always important to you - and this was one friendship you refused to lose after one fight.

“bradley?” he looked back up at you. “why didn’t you tell me about cassie?”

“well,” he laughed lightly. “i didn’t think it was that important, you know? i doubt you’d really care, honestly.”

“what?” you looked at him, slightly shocked. “bradley, of course i care! i’m your best friend, i’m like- the person who would care about this stuff the most.”

he looked at you for a moment. “y/n- who do you think cassie is to me?“

“she’s-” you furrowed your eyebrows. “she’s your girlfriend, right? or something close?”

“oh my god,” bradley laughed. “oh my god.”

you stared at him, totally confused. it felt like some inside joke you weren’t in on.

“y/n,” he smirked. “she’s my cousin.”

it was hilarious. absolutely fucking laughable. god - it was divine comedy at its peak. your mouth fell into an ‘O’ shape, slowly nodding. bradley’s giggles sounded from beside you, clearly he was finding this funny.

you were completely relieved. totally, selfishly, one hundred percent relieved. so you laughed too. laughed at yourself; how you’d gotten so upset over something you had no idea about.

whether a second or five minutes passed, you weren’t sure. the sound of bradley’s laugh, so completely drowned in happiness, it was music to your ears. a drug you were so totally addicted to, you’d cut off your own leg if it meant you could hear his boyish giggles.

god, you were in love with him.

and bradley was thinking the exact same thing about you.

once you’d finally stopped laughing, quiet came over you, a familiar kind of comfortable quiet, embracing the two of you and enveloping the room with a hum that settled in both of your souls.

or maybe that was a slightly rom-com version of saying; it went quiet.

meeting bradley’s eyes in the quiet, you couldn’t help but stare into them.

his eyes, god his eyes. you loved everything about him but his god damn eyes. they were like whisky, filling up the glass of his iris until it was just about overflowing. they were like jack daniels at the end of a bad day, a little distillery in the scottish highlands turning out the best thing you’d every tasted.

and by god - you would drink whisky every day if it felt like his eyes.

the world around you seemed to stop spinning as you stared into his irises, the couch you were sitting on melting into you until it felt like you were pure mass.

it must have been a genetic impulse. to lean in, to let gravity pull you towards him. you moved your gaze from his eyes to his lips, suddenly imagining what it would feel like to have them on yours.

there couldn’t have been more than a few inches between your faces now, an electric heat in between the two of you as your breath combined, fanning onto each other’s faces.

“y/n,” bradley whispered, the words hitting your ears and snapping you from your chance.

the way he whispered your name woke you up. fuck - what on god’s earth were you thinking? you were his best friend. nothing else. don’t be stupid, y/n. he doesn’t want you.

you pulled back quicker than bradley realised, his eyes still on the spot your lips had been milliseconds before.

clearing your throat, you felt the air around you turn awkward for the first time in years.

“takeout and a movie?” you proposed, hoping to god it would put a bandaid on whatever wound you’d just opened between you two.

“of course,” bradley smiled like nothing even happened. did anything even happen just then, or did you imagine it? “i’ll order.”

nodding, you watched him stand up and walk to where his phone was. you took a hand to your lips, swearing that when you touched the flesh you felt electric shocks.

fuck - you hoped bradley would forget that ever happened. bradley on the other hand; hoped he’d never forget that happened.

“good morning aviators,” it wasn’t maverick’s voice this time. “we have some news for you.”

the admiral eyed all of you, making sure he had everyone’s attention before continuing; “your mission date has been moved forward by ten days.”

“oh, shit,” hangman mumbled from beside you.

“this means that you have under a week to complete your training-”

“but sir,” payback piped up. “none of us except rainfall have completed the route yet, and even she fainted.”

“which is exactly why you’re going to be working double as hard, starting today. i’ll now hand over to your teacher.”

and with that he was gone.

“alright,” maverick walked to where the admiral stood a few seconds prior. “same route, in teams of four planes this time. i’ll give you an order, and please-” he looked at you. “no passing out.”

a few people sniggered, leaving you rolling your eyes. you were at ten point three g’s - what the hell were you supposed to do? and you’d lost at least a cup of blood. like they would stay conscious in that situation.

“alright, team one; yale as your team leader, fritz as your wingman, omaha and harvard in dagger two, halo and coyote in dagger three.”

the six of them stood up, walking to the door and waiting to be dismissed. maverick waved them off, chatting amongst themselves as they walked down the corridor.

“do you think any of them can manage it?” hangman asked you, watching the door close behind them.

you hummed; “maybe. yale’s a good pilot.”

“better than you?” he raised an eyebrow.

scoffing, you turned to him. “better than you? than any of us? we’re all the best of the best, jake. don’t be bitter.”

“hey, come on,” he raised his hands in defence. “i was just asking. you know, giving you something to think about.”

“have you been listening to like, anything, maverick said?” you smirked. “we don’t think up there. stop trying to sabotage me.”

“oh, yeah,” you were glad he got the joke. “that’s definitely what i’m trying to do.”

laughing, you turned away from him, looking at bradley. he seemed a million miles away, staring out of the window into the big wide ocean. you wondered where his mind was, but judging from the way he stared at the water, you knew what he was thinking about already.

his dad’s anniversary was coming up.

as it turns out, yale must not have been a good enough pilot, because none of the group managed to complete the route on time. not a single plane would have made it back if this had been a real mission.

“alright, next group is all of you guys. i want rainfall as a team leader, pheonix and bob as your wingman. fanboy and payback in dagger three, rooster and hangman in dagger four.”

without having to turn around, you could picture both bradley and jake’s faces. god, it was a sight to behold. they really were like two spoiled little kids.

did it surprise you to be made team leader? no. you’d been the only person who’d completed the course, and if you hadn’t passed out everything would have went completely ideally.

praying you wouldn’t pass out again this time, you followed the rest of your team out to the planes.

you could still hear hangman and bradley behind you, muttering insults at each other like little children who never learned the meaning of teamwork. it made you smile, knowing that no matter what happened, those task would always hate each other.

yes, it was a strange thing to be smiling about, but it was the sense of stability, a hatred that had been there since they met each other all those years ago and would most likely still be there until the day they died.

not that they really hated each other. you knew that, it was all an act deep down. bradley respected hangman, hangman respected bradley. they just didn’t like to show it.

it went in a blur - from being given your safety briefing to taking off, it felt like you had blinked and you were a thousand feet in the air.

“rainfall, proceed to the coordinates on your dash. everyone else, follow her.” maverick said over the radio; he was supervising the flight.

“got it,” you mumbled back, turning to follow the directions in front of you.

it was the same place you’d gone the last time for this training, you noticed. the same big, open desert, surrounded by forest, spanning what seemed to be hundreds of miles.

“alright, everyone in place?”

checking your controls once more, you nodded to yourself; “i’m good, mav.”

“we’re good.” fanboy replied.

“all good here.” pheonix said.

“yeah, us too.” hangman agreed.

“good. your time starts… now!”

you sped up instantly, pushed back in your chair from the force. pheonix was behind you, a shocked noise coming from her when she realised just how fast you were going.

g-force pushed against you, everything twist and turn you took pressing down on your lungs, like an elephant was standing on top of you.

“thirty seconds in, im about a quarter of the way there.” you stated.

“christ, rainfall, you’re fast.” pheonix answered. “i can’t even see you.”

laughing lightly, you turned to look behind you, pheonix and bob not even appearing in the distance.

“then get faster.” you said.

“speaking of faster,” fanboy groaned. “slow down, hangman, you’re up my ass.”

“you should’ve put pheonix behind you, fan, maybe then you two would be going at the right pace.” hangman answered, cocky tone dripping through the radio.

“that’s a minute, i’m half way there. pheonix, you gotta hurry up. i need that laser on time.”

as you said it, the pair of them appeared behind you, gaining speed with every turn they took.

“happy?” pheonix asked.

“very. like christmas.” you laughed.

the rest of the route was like a second nature to you, each curve coming to you almost naturally. it was here that your nose had started bleeding before, leading to you passing out.

you prayed the pressure wasn’t too much this time; you could not afford another accident. you’d never be put on the mission if you passed out again.

“alright, pheonix, you ready?” you asked, taking a quick look behind you to see where she was.

“always, rainfall.”

pulling up, you felt the g-force push you back, just slightly. this was nothing compared to what was coming.

“alright bob, get that laser ready.” you said, eyes fixed on the target.

“shit- there’s something wrong with this laser, it won’t catch.” he replied, hint of urgency in his voice.

“are you fucking kidding me!?” you yelled back, target getting even closer. there wasn’t enough time.

“i’m sorry, i’m trying everything to-”

“forget it, i’ll drop blind!”

trying to aim without a laser was hard - harder when time was running out. fuck, this shot would have to do.

“bombs away!” you yelled, already hundreds of feet away.

“bullseye!” bob called over the radio, making you let out a relived sigh.

and then you had to pull up. pull up - against the force that pushed you back, so much that you thought you’d go falling through the entire plane and put onto the ground.

you were pulling seven g’s now. seven point five. eight. fuck, your vision was blurring at the edges. your breathing was slow, rigid, like the oxygen wasn’t really getting to you at all.

everything felt light. like you were floating. you could feel your hands, tingly and shaky and slipping off of your controls. you couldn’t form any thoughts, just the overwhelming feeling of calm.

the world was quiet, dull. the ringing in your ears was the only sound audible to you, and even then it didn’t bother you. the bliss of unconsciousness was just about to overtake you and-

“get that fucking laser ready, rooster!” fanboy yelled.

and you were awake again, hands gripping your controls and pushing you forward, levelling yourself after pulling up.

“you alright, rainfall?” maverick asked over the radio, scratchiness scraping against your ears.

“all good,” you mumbled, voice slightly weak. “still awake.”

“i’ve got a lock, i’ve got a lock!” rooster cried, clearly having fun trying to work a laser.

“alright, bombs away!” payback yelled.

both you and pheonix were level now, watching the two of them pull up from a few hundred feet away. you could hear their groans over the radio, bradley taking a few gasps follow by a strained ‘fuck’.

that should not have been as attractive to you as it was.

they were almost there now, twenty seconds more or less and they’d be fine. they just had to stay awake.

which is far easier said than done, clearly, because fanboy seemed to go quiet over the radio, payback getting louder in his calls to his wingman.

“fanboy, you alright?” maverick asked.

and then you saw it - the plane losing balance, turning nose to the ground and falling. fanboy passed out.

“fuck, he’s in g-lock!” payback yelled, voice laced with fear. “fuck, wake up, man!”

“shit,” maverick mumbled, his own plane coming into your view. “let’s hope this works again.”

maverick lined himself up with the other plane, clearly trying to get a dial tone to wake fanboy up. it worked for you, right?

“come on, give me tone, give me tone.” he mumbled.

you felt completely powerless, all you could do was watch. two pilots could die right now, and all you’d be able to do was stare as they went down.

“oh, fuck- oh shit!” fanboy finally yelled, pulling up straight away.

“christ,” you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, leaning back in your seat.

fanboy came level with the rest of you, clearly shaken up. payback was still yelling at him, something about almost getting both of them killed.

“shit, birds!” maverick interrupted them both, making you turn around in your seat.

about twenty birds were coming straight for you, making you break right straight away. but pheonix didn’t think so fast; you saw a bird fly straight into one of her engines, instantly causing a fire.

“right engine is out!” bob yelled.

“disconnecting power and restarting,” pheonix blurted. “fuck, it didn’t go out.”

you could see them, much like fanboy and payback just minutes before, on a downward spiral - fast. pheonix was an amazing pilot, you had no doubts about that; but there was no way she can pull this back.

and you heard just as much, over the radio; her desperate attempts to keep in the air, downed out by mavericks begs for her to just eject.

she must have tried absolutely everything else, because after a particularly desperate plea from maverick, you saw both pheonix and bob eject.

you watched, mouth half open and breaths shaky. the thought you’d pushed to the back of your mind reading it’s head once more;

this was the mission someone wasn’t coming back from.

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