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pigeonwhumps · 8 months

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🫁 for Phoenix. (Laughs evilly)

"I need to do a cricothyroidotomy," says Aaron, adjusting the IV line. "Eyes on my face, Phoenix, I need to start. Eyes on me, yeah?"

Phoenix looks up into Aaron's face and blinks. His eyes are very brown, eyebrows furrowed. All wavering. They can't breathe, god, they can't breathe, they try automatically and all they can do is choke on blood, oh god, they've already died multiple times they don't want to die again, but they can't–

"Eyes on me. Injection's done, I'm starting to cut, eyes on me, you'll be fine. Squeeze this, stay still, eyes on me."

Phoenix's hand feels blindly until they find... something, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing, trying to ignore the 'not breathing' part of things. But they can't breathe, they can't breathe, there's blood everywhere, it smells metallic and they're choking on it, all they get is blood, they can't breathe oh god they're dying, they're going to die again, it's over and over and it won't stop because they can't get the blood out, they can't–

"Phoenix! I need you to stay calm. I'm here for you, we're going to get you breathing, but you need to calm down. Squeeze the ball, concentrate on me, look at me, Phoenix. You'll be okay. Stay still, try and calm down, I know it's hard but you're going to be okay."

Phoenix tries. They look up at Aaron and just about see him, vision blurred and greying, squeezing less than before. They try to concentrate on staying still, not the blood, not their mouth that hurts so much, it's agonising, not– not–

There's a strange feeling in their windpipe, like something's being pushed inside. It feels weird and wrong and they don't like it.

They can't move. They can't take it out. Their windpipe doesn't hurt so much but everything else does and they can't even move. It's easier to breathe now but god, it hurts. They gasp, trying to gulp in air, that doesn't work, and then it feels weird and tastes kind of metallic but there's air, there's air, oh god there's air. It's much further down than they're used to but they can breathe again, they can do it, there's air and everything's not quite so fuzzy anymore.

Hurts, though. It's okay, they've had worse.

"You've got it Phoenix. You're doing it, you're okay, keep your eyes on me and keep breathing. It's just me here, you're doing well. Focus on me."

Phoenix tries to obey, gripping the sides of the bed for balance, the cold grounding them.

"That's good. You're doing well. The next thing we need to do is splint your broken bones, before they heal wrong and we have to rebreak them. I'll give you morphine through your IV, and another injection of lidocaine, that should help with the pain. I need to wire your jaw, it'll be scary but given your healing factor it shouldn't be for long. Okay? You're getting there, Phoenix, you're doing really well. Focus on me, try to stay calm."

Phoenix tries, they really do. They can breathe now, that's good, it's not breathing through their mouth but it's still air. But as Aaron turns to fetch the wire, Phoenix panics. The only reason they don't thrash is that some part of their brain knows that it would be a bad idea to knock the IV out. Aaron won't be pleased with them and he might punish them, or stop giving them painkillers.

Why is he giving them painkillers again? They don't need them. They don't need them to be gentle, it's weird.

"Try to calm down. It's okay, Phoenix, you're going to be okay. You don't need to look so disbelieving at the painkillers, y'know? Squeeze this as hard as you can. It won't be wired for long. You'll have to eat liquid food, but it's okay, I promise. Let's get this done before you heal wrong."

And Phoenix... they shut down. There's wire and what looks like pliers and Aaron's going to feed them and give them painkillers, and they can't cope. They're terrified and they don't understand, and they just... shut down completely.

The world is fuzzy, their heart pounding, everything seems far away. It's all... wrong.

They'll understand at some point, maybe. But not now. Not when they're not even here.

They don't know where they are. But it's not here.

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch

#whump #whump writing #answered ask #immortal cannon fodder #phoenix oc #aaron oc #medical whump #whumpee and caretaker #immortal whumpee #hero whumpee #hero caretaker #hero whump #according to google criking is a type of intubation?#technically?#admittedly most of the medical info comes from our conversation #mostly you #i shouldve guessed youd go for intubation...

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mzcain27 · 9 months

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I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part

#yes this is about baldurs gate 3 #no I don’t have a decent computer if any description or a PlayStation #I do wanna play the game but I mostly wanna make my dnd characters for hours #you could literally do it for everything tho #totk outfits and dyes #Skyrim could have it’s 17th release #outfits in shit like assassins creed games #dragon age #fromsoft games #the sims maybe??#the options are endless pls game devs #video games #nintendo #Xbox #Sony #PlayStation

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fox-guardian · 8 months

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"maybe if i dress more boring i'll get gendered correctly by strangers" that's the devil talking

#ramblings with major #just thinkin about it #do NOT listen. dress as weird as possible always #never give up your whimsy for the sake of acceptance from people whose opinions you should not care about #this is a note to self mostly but AUGH

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cqcophobiq · 9 months

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alright listen spiderverse fandom. love hobie’s design, but why’s he’s always in his work outfit in group art or fics even when the others are in casual clothes? punk fashion is so cool. look!! look at the things he’d be wearing when he’s clocked out

#spider punk #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #spiderman #spider man #hobie brown #spiderman across the spiderverse #spider man across the spider verse #spiderverse fanart #astv #astv hobie #look y’all you KNOW he looks cool come on 👀#and I included mostly black punks for a reason

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possessable · 10 months

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Hello i'm a normal person here's some stuff i drew to illustrate different traits different "person getting controlled" tropes can have

edit: obligatory possession shorthand code link because people seem to be using this like the possession code but just. without the code part

edit: DO NOT BE HORNY ON MY POST 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

#if you see tumblr flagging this its literally not mature i dont know why it got flagged #i like how you can see the artstyle in this change because i drew the first couple a year ago and then picked it up again intermittently #this aws just an excuse to draw a bunch of tiny possessed guys. ''what am i supposed to do with a possession hyperfixation its not like you #can draw possession fanart'' Yes You Can If you really Believe In yourslef #This isn't even all the traits i can think of there's four more but they seem kind of boring to draw and are mostly self explanatory #Less Unique my Ass #ThePossessionHyperfixationIsNeverEnding

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perfectlyripeclementine · 1 year

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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

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yuribeam · 2 months

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for whoever needs to hear this:

starting HRT doesn't have to be a huge momentous all-or-nothing decision. you can just try it like you would an antidepressant you've been informed of the risks of.

there won't be any immediate irreversible changes overnight. you can always stop, change your dose, change your delivery system, decide it's not the right time. you can even microdose if you want to.

you don't have to tell anyone. you don't have to announce it if you don't want to.

stop waiting for a perfect time in your life because it won't come.

stop waiting to reach a mythical level of certainty that never comes to anyone, for anything.

you've been thinking about it long enough. if you have the opportunity, just give it a shot. you're worth the courage it takes to make a change in your life.

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frownyalfred · 5 months

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“You wanna fight someone, you fight me” seemed like a silly rule at first. but after there was more than one batkid living in the Manor at the same time, suddenly the prospect of having to spar with Bruce on the mats because you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing a punch at Tim earlier is terrifying.

#stolen from Yellowstone #I think this is a great way to discourage the batkids fighting among themselves #mostly #like it still happens #but damn if getting beaten into the mats at 4 am reminds you why punching Tim won’t help you in the long run #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #batfam #thoughts

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queenburd · 2 months

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in the span of hours tumblr has banned an out trans woman who was outspoken about her harrassment and the unfairness of the website's system and MULTIPLE out trans women who commented on the absurdity of the situation--has even banned them for posting pictures of hammers and cars.

if staff thought this was going to make the situation go away, all staff's gotten is a class action lawsuit. good job, hellsite "moderators." you showed your whole ass and you're going to go to court. again.

#im BITTER #im keeping my blog mostly free of it but you KNOW ive seen it and its just beyond a joke at this point how staff has acted.#and you know? theyre only banning the out trans women. ive seen that. the ones who arent out as trans women are untouched.

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alex-just-vibing · 3 months

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Are you a student who is unable to donate to Palestine, but still want ways to show your support?

Me too! Unfortunately, searching up ways for students who can't drive, spend money, or drop school for a week to show solidarity for Palestine just comes up with "centrist" (if not blatantly pro-israel) articles for teachers telling them how to stay neutral during discussions with students. So! Here are some ways that I've thought of to bring pro palestine sentiment into your school and community! You are more than encouraged to add on any ideas of your own!

Wear shirts, pins, or anything outwardly pro palestine. If you can't find something, make it.

Email your representatives. Email Congress. Email the White House, or whatever your country's equivalent would be. Let the people in charge know you want a ceasefire

Talk to your local library about holding an educational night about the genocide, and/or about Palestinian culture.

Talk to your peers. Find people who share your views. Create a fuss together.

Talk to your teachers about it. Having an authority figure on your side could make things so much easier for you.

Make stickers, posters, pamphlets, etc to put up around your school, town/city, anywhere you can.

Educate yourself on anti-palestine talking points and how to refute them in a calm and logical manner. (Palestinian Toolkit is a great website for that)

Speak up! It's fucking scary, but if you can, don't let people's bigotry go unchecked. (You can use knowledge from the last point to make it easier to talk)

But also, know when to give up. It sucks, but not everyone is worth wasting your time debating. Some people won't change their mind no matter what.

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theoldkyokodied · 7 months

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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

#bloodweave #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual #the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max #I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together #toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable #I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him #and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale #and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually #helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god #at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again

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qrowscant-art · 4 months

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things grow when left unattended

#3d #gore #artists on tumblr #pixel art #visdev #horror #mal-art #i hesitate to tag this as anything robot/supercomputer related because its mostly meatstuffs in this picture. hes complicated like that.#real ones know #alt title: you know how it is with spaghetti #is-ot

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froody · 4 months

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if you feel comfortable, list what generation you’re a part of and what writing system you use in the tags

#polls #I’m a zillennial (gen z?) and I use mostly cursive #I added something else in case we have shorthand writers out there #doubt it but #you never know

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egophiliac · 7 months

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just something I wanted to try! (tumblr please don't absolutely destroy this, thank you)

#art #twisted wonderland #gif warning #gifs that remind you that they are still just cats warning #i was going to do the tail stepped but i actually kind of liked it with the interpolation?#i thought it would look weird with cheka being frame by frame but. i dunno. ymmv but i think it's kind of fun!#it is also Late™ and i did this mostly all in one sitting so my brain is kind of fried #that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it

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kiwi · 2 months

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everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone ur real name and that was just understood as basic internet safety. plus having a screen name is fun because sometimes it sticks so well that it becomes part of ur identity that u can use in whatever facet of ur life you choose. it rocks to pick your own name

#im living proof! i wasnt always called kiwi but now i am and it rocks #but mostly im just worried about all these kids wayyy oversharing personal info online #not to be like aaaggghh kids these days. but.#um people are sharing their full names and schools and deepest secrets with their FACE ATTACHED #i surely dont need to explain why thats scary #tiktok trends where u share stuff you would Never tell people irl.... WITH!!! YOUR FACE!!!!! IN FULL VIEW!!#WHHH.... WHY...........#Get Scared of Internet Strangers Again Please!

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gouinisme · 10 months

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#signed a former muslim in a mostly muslim area who didnt know people were actually taught that santa existed for the longest time #throwback to the time our white primary school teacher asked what we wanted from santa claus and we were all like. ma'am what do you mean #santa's not real did you think santa was real?#and she had to try her best to protect the like 2 white kids in the class from learning santa doesnt exist #poll #christmas

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