#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers
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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
#nonbinary love#nblnb yearning#nb4nb#nblnb#wholesomeposting#yearning hours#ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense#so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc#but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership#i think about this mostly in terms of ecology#and relation to land#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers#like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs#but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while#and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well#when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else#its understood i just mean the city where i live#so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again#ok#done now
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lights up — daniel ricciardo
summary – having too much fun with Daniel in a Coachella mosh pit.
pairing – daniel ricciardo x you (female reader)
rating – mature (course language, drug reference)
word count – 1.7k
a/n – fluffy, friends to lovers bullshit but i liked writing it!
masterlist
Physical touch. That was Daniel’s love language and it was what had the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, even in the 40-degree heat.
It was sweltering in Indio, California. Roasting. You were somewhat prepared with the large cowboy hat sitting upon your head, sheltering you from the sun. Nothing really could’ve prepared you for the day – your first Coachella. It wasn't your first music festival by any stretch of the imagination but this one was big. You’d been looking forward to it for months, brushing off the cobwebs in preparation for the weekend and losing your mind over your outfit.
You'd spent hours shopping online, putting together the perfect ensemble, knowing you’d be photographed. It was inevitable with the company you were keeping but you didn’t care. It was happenstance that you and Daniel found yourselves in the same friendship group, watching your respective best friends fall in love and marry in the same year. Fate prevailed for them and you always wondered whether it would for you.
Daniel seemed to think so whenever you sat together, locked away in deep conversation. You were magnetic in that way. Always finding a quiet moment alone amongst friends, stealing glances from across the room until one of you nodded for the door. Plenty of Irish goodbyes shared between the two of you over the years – you could never say no to him and you never wanted to.
“Let’s get out of here,” You would whisper, Daniel already clocking the quickest exit.
It was his all too familiar touch that caused you to spin around in your combat boots, handbag swinging into your hip as you spotted that smile. Bright. White. Evergreen. He hadn’t even been in the sun for more than 10 minutes and was already sweating but he was relived to see you standing there, looking like a rockstar. Daniel had sussed you out a couple of times, asking whether you were still tagging along – trying to seem nonchalant and not desperately holding onto the hope that you'd be here.
You weren’t naïve as to why he was asking you the question and you answered happily, also wanting to make sure he would be there too – your partner in crime. He was Danny Ricciardo, after all. Our party boy.
And there he was as you turned around, standing proudly in a loud party shirt, tinted aviators covering his playful eyes and a smile that could light up the entire festival grounds if they needed him to. God, he was beautiful.
“You can always rely on Danny Ric to bring a bit of colour to the party,” You enthused, softly tracing the printed palm trees on his neon pink shirt, “So good to see you, honey.”
“And you, sweetheart.” He sweetly replied.
Daniel had missed you. And missed his opportunity so many times. He’d lost count of how many times he had the chance to man up and revealed his true feelings. But he didn’t want to ruin the friendship – a friendship that meant more to him than any other. He’d fucked it up so many times in the past with friends turned lovers and he would’ve rather die than lose yours. He couldn’t even bear to think about that. Gut-wrenching.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t spend every second of the day flirting with you. Anyone looking in would’ve thought you were honeymooning the way you doted over each other – him making sure you had a cold drink in your hand at all times and you making sure his collar was neatly folded down, sunscreen applied. There was an unspeakable pull between the two of you and it never dawned on either of you how obviously in love you were until someone brought it up, usually someone who liked to see you squirm.
“Babe, you need to fuck him and put us all out of our misery,” Your best friend whispered in your ear while Daniel scoured through the list of set times you’d handed to him, eyes widening at her words.
“I’m not fucking Dan,” You quietly snapped back, “We’re just having fun.”
“Hopping on that dick might be fun too if you weren’t chicken shit. You’re both as oblivious as each other…”
Your mouth fell open at her bluntness. Usually you appreciated her honesty but in that moment, you were offended. You weren’t chicken shit, you thought. Or maybe you were and couldn’t see how pathetic it was that you hadn't crossed the line with Daniel after all this time – that tempting, tantalising line that was constantly being dangled in front of you.
“I’m not talking to you about this anymore.”
You walked away, pissed off. So pissed off that you grabbed Daniel’s arm and dragged him away from the group, “Please tell me you’ve picked a band for us to see… I can’t be around Hannah right now and you’re my only hope.”
Daniel chuckled and nodded enthusiastically, “Amyl and the Sniffers are on at 5.”
He knew you loved them and he was proud as punch when you tightened your grip on his waist and stood on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his cheek. “Fuck I love you.”
His heart was in his throat every time you said those three words. They were never in the context that he wanted them to be said but that didn’t mean he loved hearing them any less. His stomach did a flip as he peered down at you, “Love you too.”
You and Daniel found your own little nook underneath a shady tree, away from the chaos and your friends. You sat there for hours, catching up on life and sharing a joint – simply enjoying each other’s company while bands played and went on stage. The music of Coahella wasn’t really Daniel’s vibe and it definitely wasn’t yours but you didn’t care.
Daniel was just stoked to be able to spend time with you after what had been a shitty start to the year. He needed your grounding words to remind him of what mattered most in life - he always trusted you with that. You were his safe place and sometimes Facetime just didn't cut it.
The sun had finally begun setting out in the desert. The dusty breeze cooling as darkness cloaked the sky, stars starting to twinkle above. Your fingers had become subconsciously intertwined with Daniel's at some point as you began your descent into the growing crowd, everyone keen to get as close as humanely possible to the stage. Harry Styles was closing out the festival and although you and Daniel had debated on seeing King Gizzard instead, you both agreed that you couldn’t miss history in the making. It was Harry fucking Styles for christ sake.
“Can you see alright?” Daniel asked, mindful that your vision was obstructed due to your shorter stature. His hands gripped your hips as he positioned you in front of him, feeling his warm chest bump your back.
“Yeah, I’m good.” You replied with a smile. He was protective of you and you loved how close he was, making sure nobody knocked you around or pushed in front. Hands never leaving your hips until the stage lights started to dim.
“I don’t want to lose you in this madness,” You yelled over the thousands of screaming people as you turned around and grasped Daniel’s hand, looking into his dark eyes – pleading.
“As if I'd let that happen,” He shouted back with a smile and clasped you hand, spinning you around so his arm was loosely wrapped around your neck. Both of your hands grasped his tattooed forearm, feeling safely tucked under it, wishing you could stay like this forever.
Having you that close killed Daniel. It hurt knowing that in 90 minutes, the show would be over and you’d disappear into the night, out of reach until you meet again. He tried to push those thoughts away and seize this rare moment, holding you, dancing with you. Moving in perfect rhythm with the music.
There were a lot of songs that neither of you knew but you still swayed along together, giggling at some of the girls who were literally catapulting themselves through the crowd to get closer to their idol, “Is this what it’s like for you at Albert Park?” You yelled into Daniel’s ear, standing up on your tiptoes so he could hear you.
His hand slipped down to the small of your back to hold you in place, sending chills down your spine once again, “There's a lot less boobs and a lot more middle aged women named Karen.”
“Hot,” You quipped back with a smirk as Daniel tugged you closer into his side, Harry’s voice suddenly becoming background noise.
This was his chance, he thought – the opportunity he’d been waiting for.
“Can I kiss you?” He shouted over the music, searching your eyes for any kind of hesitancy before leaning in, but you already were halfway there. You were two magnets constantly being pulled together, after all.
“Thought you’d never ask,” You teased before your lips locked, slowly at first but you’d both wanted this for so long – yearning for the chance to be free of insecurity and fear. You moved quickly to deepen the kiss, not caring about how public it all was. You were way too excited to care about anything besides Daniel’s lips on yours.
Your hands grasped both sides of Daniel’s face as his held your waist, holding you as closely as he could without breaking you in half. His fingertips brushed along the hem of you jeans, tugging on the loops that were unoccupied by a belt, desperate to feel you. He wanted it all with you but he knew he couldn’t. Not in the middle of a mosh pit.
A few more seconds passed before you reluctantly pulled away, breathing heavily. Your lips ghosted over Daniel’s and cheekily he took that opportunity to sneak one more kiss before resting his forehead on yours. Noses bumping and eyes blown out, hungry for more than what you could give him in the middle of the Californian desert.
“That was nice,” You rasped and you could feel the blush creeping rapidly up your neck. There was a break between songs and you savoured the few seconds of peace, even though your heart was thumping in your ears.
“Really nice,” Daniel whispered and paused for a moment before leaning in again, “How badly do you wanna stay for the rest of the show?”
You pulled back and clenched your bottom lip between your front teeth, pondering your next move, “If it means leaving with you right now then fuck Harry Styles.”
A loud laugh slipped from Daniel's swollen lips before he nodded in agreement. Your words were like music to his ears, better than any song he’d heard all day.
let me know what you think!
#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo smut#f1 one shot#f1#formula 1#monzamashmasterlist#daniel ricciardo one shot#formula 1 one shot
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heyy i remember you said on one of your posts that you have a lot of hc’s for the dimi’s👀 So i was wondering if you had any specific hc’s on what each sister’s type is? S/o wise, both physically and personality wise
Oooooh I doooo!👀 this plays a little into my “how to woo them”-post, so I’ll link it 🌹 here 🌹
I write them with pretty much anyone (non specifics that are mentioned in this post) in order to include as many people as possible, so the following are just personal HC regarding what I think their type is :)
Let’s get into it!🫶
Masterlist 1
Masterlist 2
🌹 Bela
Bela knows exactly what she wants. She won’t waste her time with one-time dates or flings. She barely has dates, even. But she knows she doesn’t want to waste her time unless she is sure her partner is the one for her
Personality is the most important thing for her. Yes, it sounds like cliché
But it’s such an important variable to her
Between rowdy sisters and stressful family business, long hours of piling work and a strict mother, she wants someone competent
In fact, she needs her partner to be competent. She gets impatient very easily, and tends to become bitchy when her partner can’t follow her instructions or so. They’re simple, to her
She doesn’t want to have to worry about her partner adding more trouble to her pile, either
Also, she wants her partner to be caring, and comforting. She dislikes relying on others, but having an s/o she knows she can rely on and lean on during difficult times is important to her
Bela needs to be listened to. Not in an authoritative sense, but in a way where her words and interests aren’t dismissed
When she mentions something, it’s important to her that her partner listens.
When she tells stories or talks, she wants to know she is listened to. It’s easy for her to shrink into her shell with people she cares about, if she isn’t given the feeling of being heard or appreciated
She has many love languages, but one her main ones are acts of services
She wants her partner to match this, even if it’s just little things
It’s the thought that counts, and if even a little bit of weight is lifted from her shoulders, such as her desk being organised or a bath drawn for her, it means the world to her
She doesn’t have any qualms about her partner’s level of IQ or such, or their interests
She is happy to learn about their interests if they differ from hers, and eager to share what she knows if they match hers
She appreciates confidence- it makes her feel all flustered. Though she finds shyness adorable as well. She doesn’t have a preference as it comes to this, nor as it comes to an intro-or extroverted personality
Attraction wise, physically, the following applies;
She doesn’t have a type as it comes to most things. She sees past all of this
(However, it can be said that as it comes to sexual preferences, and she feels she is a submissive, she finds it attractive to have someone taller and stronger than her. To be intimidated as a submissive is attractive to her, and height and strength plays a large part in this)
She enjoys muscles, but doesn’t see them as a necessity
The perhaps only preference she has as it comes to physical attributes is the following:
Bela is a total sucker for hands. She likes veiny ones, or strong fingers. It’s not a priority to her, but a bonus that makes her feel flustered
🥀 Cassandra
She’s a little less cliché than her sister. Personality, however, is important to her
She wants someone loyal and honest. This is the most important thing to her, nobody who is anything but that to her becomes her lover. They are go-to’s for her
Whether shy or confident, chaotic or concentrated, serious or goofy, she doesn’t mind. She likes all kind of people
Her type, though? The one that could make her melt on the spot?
Surprisingly, someone that is similar to her
Sadistic- the more the better
She will melt if she finds someone as sadistic as her
Someone who not only indulges her, but joins her in her sadistic games, even comes up with new ones
Funnily enough, she enjoys someone masochistic as well
She likes to play with pain. As a sadist and masochist herself, she finds these combinations fun
Someone bold
She wants to be challenged, and at the same time, she wants somebody that can handle her- which is not an easy task, mind you
She wants someone dominant for that, in a way. Even when she is the dominant one in the relationship, she needs someone able to withstand her sudden mood changes, especially anger and frustration
Someone with low to no morals regarding anybody but her and her family
She finds it so hot to see her partner treat maidens and lycans, prisoners and her prey as nothing but that: prey, and prisoners, something beneath them
If her partner kills for her, or with her, she is immediately hooked. It’s romantic to her
She tends to go for brutal people, or at least those with a brutal mind. Mind you, if the right person comes along, Cassandra might even date the human version of a cinnamon roll. Not quite her standard type, though
Of course, sexually, she has two ideals as well- she is capable of being a switch after all
To trigger her dominance, she loves a partner that is easily flustered.
Even if they are taller than her or muscular, sadistic and bold, it’s hot to her how she can push them down and dominate them easily
To trigger her submissive side, Cassandra yearns for someone extremely bold and dominant. Someone mean, and yet caring, someone not hesitant to push her down and greedily take what they want from her whether she likes it or not. It turns her on to no end
She will also, for these scenarios, appreciate someone able to intimidate her. This works best with a strong and tall build and a low voice.
Though, as long as they are firm enough, anything will get the job done to the little brat
As it comes to her partner’s interests, she isn’t picky. She likes to learn and will often ask questions and try to engage in the hobby, even. Unless it’s reading- though she will gladly cuddle while her partner reads
Physically, she is a little bolder than her sister
She likes dark hair, and long hair
She likes to pull and grab it numerous times
Cassandra is a total sucker for anything that stands out on her partner’s skin
Tattoos, scars, drawings, moles, freckles, muscles
She is intrigued by any oddities or new things
Accents, for example. She is big on those. They’re adorable and attractive to her
Needless to say, Cassandra appreciates a partner in crime. Even if they are not literally that, she wants someone she knows is by her side and in her corner, especially emotionally
🌷 Daniela
Ah, the romantic sister
I’m sure you can imagine how she feels. Allow me to elaborate anyway
Of course, it’s all about romance to her. But not just that
She wants someone cheesy and romantic. Someone that appreciates her, most of all
She wants to know she is someone’s one and only. Their number one priority
Without shame, it can be said she wants someone obsessed. She wants to be someone’s obsession
Hearts drawn around her name,
Flowers gifted to her
Poems dedicated to her
Quotes from her favourites of books!
Random, sweet dates that last hours
Cuddling sessions
Pictures of her on their person
She wants to feel heard. If she talks of her favourite kind of flowers, she wants her partner to get her one without her needing to ask
In general, Daniela wants things done without asking for them
Cuddles, kisses, spontaneous baths together and confessions of love. Don’t make her ask for such things, it immediately lessens their worth to her
She loves being coddled and spoiled. Not with money necessary
Gift her little notes of what you think of her! She loves herself a thoughtful partner
Daniela is such a passionate person and needs her partner to match this
She loves to learn, and needs her partner to allow this
To indulge her and tell her stories, to let her ramble about things she has learned
Daniela wants someone touchy for sure
When it’s her partner, she likes to be ogled and groped, kissed and touched all over all the time. It makes her feel wanted and appreciated
She wants someone bold. Someone who is not afraid to tell her what they think
At the same time, they must be mindful of how sensitive she is, as well as her rather dangerous mood swings. She is a little maniac most of the time
Her partner must be able to handle her. All her emotions. They can be quite wild sometimes, as well as her delusions
Sexually, she doesn’t really have a type. She’s more of a submissive, nearly all the time, and eagerly submits to all
It takes willpower and firmness to take care of her bratty side, though
As it comes to physical attributes, Daniela loves herself a fairytale knight
Tall and strong, capable of swooping her off her feet and carrying her
She loves wide shoulders
She’s absolutely into muscles
She thinks they’re fascinating- being mostly around maidens and her family, she isn’t used to seeing them either
She likes all hair colors, though will call her partner “Prince(ss) Charming at times if they are blonde
Her last thought regarding these things are: she thinks freckles are adorable
But most important of all things: Daniela wants someone who is in for it all, forever
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Fic Recs June '23
What did I read this month? Let me tell you, Hurt Comfort exchange finally released, and also I'm halfway through reading Extreme Timed Challenge exchange, and there have been some BANGERS. Not entirely DSMP, even though I am Still That Way, but yeah, it's still a lot of Emduo. I Am Who I Am.
The Fics - All One-shots this time!
One Fish, Two Fish by ssootsprite
Fandom: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Rating: G
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Grandpa/Willy (Stardew Valley), Lewis & Willy (Stardew Valley)
Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Pre-Canon, Friends to Lovers, Queer Themes, Asian Character(s), set vaguely somewhere between modern day 1980s and laura ingalls sorry bout that, and the crack treated seriously is cus this is kind of a crack ship but i treated it Quite seriously
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,141 words.
Willy, the fisherman, gets to know the new Farmer in town. They become friends. They become— more? Absolutely adorable little blossoming of romance. This was being recced as countryboy4countryboy and it is that and it's so good.
the DSMP let loose on the internet by impravidus
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: G
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Tags: Social Media, Crossover, Crack, Humour
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,056 words.
A glimpse at all the DSMP character internet presences. Techno runs a potato rating channel. There's people sharing the details of the fact that BBH killed his husband in the comments of his outfit channel. It's very funny.
the beehive state by amaranthinecanicular
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: T
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, POV 2nd Person, they're having a hard time but they're trying, the wonders of Utah help, takes place between Boundless Sands and the finale, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, they are brothers your honor
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,980 words.
Okay, before you get scared off by second person, this is just immaculate. The voice is pristine, the relationships are devastating, I read it while being the :wails: emoji the whole time. Tommy shows up and demands Wil show him around, and then they are abrasive brothers, and just, UGH I'm not even a crimeboys but this is so perfect.
here’s to this, get used to it. by hoorayy
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: T
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Tags: Manberg | Manburg on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric
Length: 1/1 chapters 1,171 words.
Just a perfect little slice of Manberg tensions, when Quackity discovers Tubbo sneaking back in, and uuuuuuggggghhhhhhh taking care of each other in a shit situation while being abraisve as hell. Neither of these men are good at emotions. Everything sucks. Schlatt is laying over the conversation like an opressive force. It's so good.
hearth by fensandmarshes
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: T
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Niki Nihachu & Philza & Ranboo & Technoblade (Dream SMP)
Tags: Found Family, Fluff, ambiguously canon setting? but without the canon ending? idk man, au - the version of canon that lives in my head, love languages go brrrr
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,754 words.
The Syndicate, and love languages, and what they are to each other, in four parts, and :wails:. They CARE. Little tiny character studies reflecting on their relationships. I love them.
shall we rise to the occasion by Odaigahara
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: T
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza
Tags: Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Angel of Death Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Champion of the Blood God Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Androids, Blood Magic, First Meetings, Developing Friendships
Length: 1/1 chapters 2,830 words.
Death Angel Phil finds broken down Automaton Technoblade (He runs on blood!) and gets him running again. Oh my GOD the worldbuilding crammed into this one. Phil is a black hole in the universe! Beetles pray to gods of endurance! Religious wars! They banter and friendship! They're probably the final boss of somebody's D&D campaign because my god these guys are gonna do DAMAGE to the world. I love it.
Of a Different Color by Rhizophora
Fandom: Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones
Rating: G
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Sophie Hatter/Howl Pendragon
Tags: Domestic Fluff, pregnancy fluff
Length: 1/1 chapters 1,272 words.
Just adorable Howl's Moving Castle fluff when Sophie was expecting, with excellent Sophie and Howl voice. Howl is stressing out the whole time. Sophie's like "i'm a powerful witch and fine actually". Howl dyes his eyebrow orange.
a falling axe, a sharpened knife by sesquidpedalian
Fandom: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series
Rating: G
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood & ZombieCleo
Tags: scott exists only as a distinct absence, Telepathic Bond, Relationship Study, Late Night Conversations, Season: Double Life, Season: Limited Life
Length: 1/1 chapters 2,081 words.
Incisive and magnetic character study on Martyn and Cleo and how they orbit each other and Scott, across two series. It's just, Oof. It's good.
Moonlit and Mending by InsomniWillow
Fandom: QSMP
Rating: G
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Rafael Lange | Cellbit/Roier
Tags: Werewolf Roier, Vampire Cellbit, Post-Rescue, Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Fluff, Alcohol, Late Night Conversations
Length: 1/1 chapters 2,254 words.
monster4monster spiderbit late night conversations! It's so fluffy and comforting, after cellbit's kidnapping! Cellbit makes this spicy alcohol hot brazilian drink that I want to drink SO Much.
hey siri how do i tell my sister i was bit by a really weird dog and now i’m turning into a monster by hoorayy
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: T
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Recently Turned Werewolf & Their Sister Helping Them Hide Their Secret
Tags: Siblings, Protective Siblings, Werewolves, big families
Length: 1/1 chapters 1,412 words.
So hoorayy is really good at taking single slice scenes and putting a whole story in them, and that absolutely happens here. Such good big family, and elder sister dynamics. I love them. I belive in the sibling dynamics here entirely.
improvised problems by hoorayy
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Alexis | Quackity/Wilbur Soot
Tags: Queerplatonic Relationships, Aromantic Alexis | Quackity, Las Nevadas on Dream SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, thumbs up emoji, Alexis | Quackity-centric
Length: 1/1 chapters 2,810 words.
[Leans close to the mic.] AROMANTIC QPR TNTDUO. AND THEY KISS. I'm taking this one as relationship canon, it's fine.
Maybe This Time I Won't Wake From The Dream by juliana677
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Bodyswap--character's hidden or downplayed pain/illness is discovered because of bodyswap, Bodyswap
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,293 words.
Techno and Phil wake up in each other's bodies and then goes "you live like this? Unacceptable", and proceeds to try to help each other with chronic pain. Also Phil (in Techno's body) repeatedly walks into the doorframe.
The Longevity Clause by MissyColorful
Fandom: SMPEarth
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Caring for a character's injured wings, Solitary Confinement, Aftermath of Solitary Confinement, Badass in Distress, BAMF Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Angst
Length: 1/1 chapters 12,838 words.
WHUMP THAT BIRD. Phil gets kidnapped and is extremely bitey about it, but it's taking so long for Techno to rescue him, does he even care? (Techno is panicking trying to find him, but he can't FIND him.)
move your feet from hot pavement by Odaigahara
Fandom: SMPEarth, DSMP
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza
Tags: Antarctic Emperor Phil Watson | Philza, General Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Developing Friendships, Misunderstandings, Prisoner of War, Injury, Angst with a Happy Ending
Length: 1/1 chapters 2,795 words.
Ooooo I loved this one. Techno is part of the surrendering force to the Antarctic Empire, and he thinks he's going to be executed, and he's trying to remain upbeat about it, but y'know, the blood loss. And the impending execution. Extremely good emduo bonding moments.
filling up the emptiness by PolynomialPandemic
Fandom: The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Attolia | Irene/Eugenides
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Wound Tending, they trust each other so much ur honor, Aftermath of Torture
Length: 1/1 chapters 1,211 words.
Irene takes care of Gen after a kidnapping! :sobs: They care so much.
a token for a ravager by loyalcrowlist
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Gladiators, compelled to follow orders, Gestures of Affection After Gladiator Fights
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,895 words.
GLADIATOR EMDUO. And they have to fight each other. :sobs:. (My pitches for these are becoming less and less sensible, but *points* look at it. Gladiator Emduo. Techno gets told he has to beat up Phil or someone else will do it. These boys be hurting.)
tasting snowcones by mothandflame
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Alexis | Quackity/Wilbur Soot
Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Pining, Oblivious Wilbur Soot, Friends to Lovers, Crushes, First Kiss, Summer Romance, Fluff
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,737 words.
OOOOOOO It's cute. A first kiss in the summer. These boys are pining.
swimming out beyond the breakers by Odaigahara
Fandom: DSMP
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Tags: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Avian Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Avian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Rescue, First Meetings, Sharks, Happy Ending
Length: 1/1 chapters 3,580 words.
Shark mermaid Techno with just a TOUCH of body horror, and lots of fun. Tommy is a seagull! Wilbur is a grad student! Techno gets offered a phone and tries to bite it! I love them all so much!
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Hi Fay! I was admiring some of your drawings yesterday and this little thing popped into my head 😊 i'm a great fan of your work (not just your drawings but your fics too) so i thought i'd share how they inspire me. It's not much but since it's the first time i write anything at all i'm trying to not be too hard on myself (apologies for any mistakes and formatting, english is not my first language)
you're a gift to this fandom ❤💫
Farah had never bothered to learn how to play chess; truth be told she didn't have the patience for it nor did she care much about strategy (luckily for her and the rest of the batallion, Saul had a natural talent for it).
At first, Rosalind had tried to encourage her to learn by using analogies (that Farah barely understood) and explaining pieces and rules and tactics and other things that Farah didn't pay much attention to. At the end of the day she couldn't remember any of it but to her relief (and surprise) her mentor didn't press it. So Farah never learnt.
Sometimes she felt guilty about it but why should she waste time with that? Her strength was her magic. She was training to become a soldier, to fight in the war. All she had to do was follow Rosalind, she'd train her and lead her into battle. She'd lead all of them to victory.
When she was young Farah used to try to work out which chess piece each member of the batallion represented, even though she only had a vague idea of their value and how they moved: were the specialists meant to be the pawns? Rosalind probably thought so, but surely Saul and Andreas were worth more than an average pawn... and what about the fairies? Would Rosalind consider the less powerful ones in the same regard as the specialists? A fairy like Ben had to be a rook at the very least; he might even become a knight or a bishop one day.
As for the king, Farah decided early on that it represented the inhabitants of the Otherworld. The queen was the most powerful piece in the board which meant it could only be Rosalind. So what was Farah supposed to be?
When she was feeling confident, Farah even dared consider herself as the queen, which left Rosalind in the place of the king. It made sense, she'd tell herself, her mentor didn't take much part in the actual fighting anymore but she remained the most important member of their army. She was the head, their leader, the only piece they couldn't afford to lose.
How stupid she'd been. How blind and ignorant. Pawns and rooks and knights, even the king and queen, they were all just pieces in a game. Rosalind had been the player all along.
Hi my wonderful amazing anon!! I'm incredibly sorry it took me this long to respond but I wanted to do it right and not just type a quick answer crammed in between lectures or other assignments!
First, thank you so so much for your message. I am truly honoured that you shared this with me and everytime I hear one of my works inspires people I could jump with joy! I feel like inspiring others is one of the most beautiful things art can do and it doesn't happen often to me that I'm on the inspiring end!💕
And of course I'm also beyond happy you like ny drawings and fics, thank you for the support!!!💕
As a chess lover (although quite the amateur I fear) I always love chess analogies!! But I have to admit I found it hard to apply them to fate characters because in my mind they only work for specific situations because everyone switches places in my head depending on situation and relationship. That's why I love love love how you had Farah deliberating the pieces and her place on the board from her perspective as a soldier in the war! And the king as the inhabitants of the otherworld would make so much sense! But also Farah deliberating both herself and Rosalind as Queen, comparing how she would measure up to her mentor just to realise that Rosalind was the player all along because she absolutely was.
Again you so much for sharing this and I hope you write more whenever inspiration hits!!
Also can I just say that this message made me happy everytime I opened my inbox for the past week?? because it absolutely has been brightening my day!💕
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Hello! Can I request a candyman x reader? Where reader has an infatuation with Daniel and writes poems and makes art of him?
A different kind of Love Language
Candyman / Daniel Robitaille x gn!reader
WARNINGS: Kind of short, mentions of murder(?), and poorly written poems-
NOTE : This is my very first request on Tumblr and I'm kind of excited about the thought of actually writing fanfics for this community! But I'm also kinda nervous since I don't have any experience in writing so if there's anything I missed out on ( grammar, spelling, etc.) please let me know! And I openly take suggestions from anyone, and help myself to improve!
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Life has always been full of surprises, especially the fact that you're dating Daniel Robitaille or more likely known as "Candyman", the infamous urban legend that has been going around in Chicago for centuries, the man who had been murdered because of forbidden love, and the spirit who kills anyone who says his name five times in front of a mirror.
And by some miracle, you somehow managed to survive from getting your throat slit by his hook and winning his love at the same time, you didn't know what was it about you that made him fall for you, maybe it was because you both shared a similar interest in art and poetry.
You knew he was a man of arts considering that he used to be an artist, so you showed your love and appreciation for him through that same advantage.
Whenever you'd leave your humbled home instead of small notes you'd leave written poems on your kitchen counter for him to read later on.
To Daniel my beloved,
my love for you is unlimited,
you painted my life full of colors,
From yours truly your lover.
You are the bee to my honey,
this may sound kinda cheesy,
aou make butterflies in my tummy,
and I love you so dearly. <3
The first time I saw you,
Was just out of the blue.
But only then I knew,
My love for you is so good to be true.
They're always short but they held a deeper meaning to Daniel, the fact that you took your time into writing these sweet short poems just for him warmed his dead heart, and he would often keep those simple poems underneath his furry coat and write back to you.
To my dearest Y/N,
I promise I shall take all your pains away.
With every moment spent together,
I cherish them as if it were my final day.
I want nothing more but to spend the rest of my life with you,
Oh the things you do to me, you don't have a clue.
It's to hold you close and have your presence near me,
for all eternity.
There wasn't a day without you or Daniel leaving each other love poems, it was as if written poems were your love languages. But other than that you would often stay in the comfort of your home painting when you have no work or chores to do for the day, you had asked him if you could do a portrait of him which he happily obliged to. Daniel watched as you applied your paintbrush to the mixing palette in hand, and stroked the brush on the canvas looking back and forth between him and back to the canvas.
To be honest, you weren't the worst painter but having seen Daniel's artworks before made you motivated into improving your art skills and making sure not to leave a single detail out of the portrait. It had been hours and you had eventually finished your artwork, you were a bit surprised that Daniel hadn't left the entire time to kill some poor and helpless soul for calling him 5 times.
You stepped aside and watched him intently as he inspects the final product of your masterpiece, your anxiety washed away, and with the newfound feeling of relief as you saw a gentle smile spread across his face. "My love, this is probably one of your best masterpieces yet." he whispered as he pulls you closer to him by wrapping an arm around your shoulder, you gently placed your head on his shoulder and took in a deep breath as you felt a little more confident about your painting, "You think so?".
"I know so."
He was glad to have met someone like you, even after what happened with him and Coralina he still managed to have found someone who accepted him, loved him for who he was, and never failed to show their appreciation to him every day.
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TAGLIST :
#candyman x reader#daniel robitaille x reader#slashers x reader#slasher fanfiction#slasher fluff#candyman#daniel robitaille#candyman x you
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Morning writing
Sure, have deadline, ignore fic. I see where my muse has gone.
Anyways. Have some pretty graphics too. I can’t decide which one I like better…
Title: An All Time High (aka the Vegas AU)
Fandom: 911
Pairing: Buddie
Fic summary:
After being struck by lightning on the job, Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley takes his newly acquired math skills to Vegas for the weekend. He’s also in search of the meaning of why he survived given that all his lovers leave him sooner or later and his found family is all happily settled down but he isn’t.
He’s not running away to Vegas, but it might look that way from the outside.
Las Vegas, Nevada is where Eddie Diaz has been spinning his wheels for the last few years after his discharge from the Army. He’s finally in a bit of a good spot emotionally but is starting to feel at loose ends as his son starts wanting more independence.
A different first meeting under alternative circumstances.
Tags/warnings: alternative first meetings, first draft, set post lightning strike.
“What do you say, want to get out of here?” Eddie asks, surprising himself with how forward he’s being. He doesn’t do this—pick up people in his own casino—but there’s something about Evan that’s different and he wants him in a way that Eddie’s not sure he’s felt before.
There’s a mutual understanding between them, a shared experience. Eddie knows what it’s like to be left, to feel like nobody is ever going to stay. It’s written all over Evan that all he really wants is for someone to love him and Eddie suspects that this Taylor wasn’t the first but the last in a long line of people who haven’t always treated Evan’s heart with care.
Evan bites his lip, those long curly lashes fluttering as he sneaks quick glances towards Eddie. His body language is conflicted, hands twitching as they reach for Eddie and chest turned towards him but his shoulders are rigid.
Deciding that he’s all in, Eddie makes another move and presses closer until there’s only maybe half an inch between their bodies from shoulder to knee. He can feel the body heat Evan is radiating in the cool air of the casino. Telegraphing his move, Eddie slides his hand around Evan’s body until his hand is resting in the small of Evan’s back, applying a gentle pressure to encourage Evan to step into his embrace.
Evan folds and comes willingly, pressing his body into Eddie’s.
This close, Eddie can smell the intoxicating scent of Evan’s cologne and the expensive whiskey on his breath. Neither of them are drunk—they’re consenting adults here and both aware of what they’re doing.
“Let me take care of you tonight?” Eddie asks, letting a bit of his native Texan drawl slip out.
#all time high#—>an all time high#buddie vegas au#alternative first meetings#buddie#911#snippet#first draft#eddie takes care of buck
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I'm curious, a lot of people seem to bring up the Pedro Pascal is considered to be white when there is discourse about racist protrayals of Din Djarin. It feels wrong not to call it racism, but it also feels wrong to say that Pedro Pascal isn't white when he himself identifies this way. How should one potentially approach this counterargument?
I've tried to explain the issue here but I can clarify further because it is a complicated problem.
It boils down to the separation between the canon portrayal of a character, aka Din Djarin as portrayed by Pedro Pascal, and how the fandom systematically chooses to add upon that portrayal and change aspects of this character. The issue with harmful stereotypes and tropes that are usually applied to Latine characters is an issue regardless of the race of the character, because the Latine identity is an ethnic identity. People from Latinoamérica identify as Latino, Latina, Latine, not in the same way someone might identify as Asian or European, because it's not just a geographical denomination but rather a cultural one. It's mostly a political identity from shared history, alliances, and unity in this forgotten and exploited corner of the world. It's an identity that exists beyond race. People from all races live in Latinoamérica that identify as Latine.
So when the fandom decides to apply the Latin Lover trope to Din, or Poe, or Cassian (three Latine characters played by white latine men*) it's a form of xenophobia: discrimination against cultural identity. They're doing it because they're Latine, not because they're white.
The thing is, this is not the only problem. Because the fandom also started to change Din Djarin's appearance in fanarts and fanfics, darkening his skin and describing him as having a brown complexion or being tanned. This is not in itself a bad thing! I actually think it would be so much better if he were portrayed by Latine actor of brown skin, since Hollywood only seems to hire white Latinos, and latines come in all skin tones. It's long been discussed in fandom how poc can and should be able to say "you know what this white hero is black/brown/asian now!" Feeling represented is a good thing.
But these things don't exist in a vacuum. And when you have people darkening Din's skin color AND applying harmful stereotypes at the same time, like the aggressive predatorial Macho Alfa or making him speak Spanish exclusively during sex or having him always be a mechanic or bodyguard or cook or stereotypical "low level" jobs, it becomes a race issue. Because it's not JUST about his ethnicity, but people have gone out of their way to make him brown AND assassinate his character. Both things need to happen at the same time, and it's very frequent. So it ends up being racist on top of being xenophobic.
This is a character that is canonically a refugee, who speaks multiple languages, who is gentle and smart, who is a natural leader, who is set up to become the king of a scattered and destroyed civilization. Making those changes to make him "dark" or "sexy" and at the same time making his skin darker is a deliberate change that feels very much racist. And it's not exclusive to "dark" fics, this is a very prevalent phenomenon in most modern au fics. And it's not exclusive to Din Djarin either, it's a phenomenon that you can find with Poe (who people transformed into a Latin Lover long before JJ Abrahams made him a fuckin Narco) or Cassian who people also love to make him aggressive and cold-blooded.
I hope I was able to clarify the issue for you, if there's still questions you have don't hesitate to ask!
*correction here, Diego Luna isn't white, he's mestizo. Sorry for the confusion!
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Exe's Commissions!
Exe's Official Commission Info!
I've officially started to take writing commissions sbsjsh 🥳💕!!
If you've ever wanted a piece of writing catered just for you, then a commission is definitely the way to go 👍~
This post details everything regarding my commissions, including slots, prices, rules, guide, etc!
If you're interested in commissioning me please take some time to read this post agshs 👉👈 I appreciate it lots, tysm!!!
Reblogs and shares of this post are also v v much appreciated also 💞!!!
COMMISSION SLOTS
(Currently I have no slots open!)
1 - Taken by @zone10-8!
2 - Taken by @amreaux!
If all commission slots are full and you’d like to reserve one, please DM me to let me know and I’ll happily hold a slot for you!
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PRICES
Prices are in CAD!
As I complete more commissions and become more comfortable, I might begin to offer more options such as letters from characters, longer pieces, etc.!
(word count - price)
Imagine pieces
1000 - $18
1500 - $26
2000 - $34
2500 - $42
For imagines, I always try my best to stay in the word count range that you purchased, not anything less and too much above. No extra charges will be applied if I end up writing a few hundred words over what you paid for! Ex. If you purchased an imagine 1500 words long, however I end up writing 1650 words, I will not charge you anything extra!
Headcanon pieces
1000-1500+* - $20+*
*The length of headcanon pieces can vary a lot based on the content involved in them, and a headcanon piece may end up being more than 1500 words. Ex. Headcanon pieces involving the details of lots of different love languages between two characters might possibly exceed a word count of 1500 words.
If the content of a headcanon piece causes it to surpass 2000 words, an extra change of $5 will be applied; if the headcanon piece then after surpasses 2500 words, another extra charge of $5 will be applied. I will never charge extra before discussing it first and receiving a clear answer from the person commissioning me.
If I already anticipate that your headcanon piece commission will surpass 2000 words based on what you'd like me to write about, I will inform you before I accept your commission.
If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask me!!
I currently do not take commissions for anything lower than 1000 words, and for anything higher than 2500 words extra charges will apply that aren't listed here (please ask about this if you're looking to commission something lengthier from me, such as something that's 3000 words!!); prices are not negotiable and subject to change!
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EXAMPLES OF MY WORK
Many more can be found on my Masterlist!
Imagines
"Welcome Home" - Nearl the Radiant Knight + Doctor OC (raffle prize for @vesvic)
"Flowering" - Executor + female reader
"Cat Emergency" - Phantom + gender-neutral reader
"Solicitude" - Thorns + gender-neutral reader
Headcanons
Passenger with his outgoing, artistic, Perro lover (commission for @mammonishot)
Growing closer to Thorns overtime
Ayerscarpe with an affectionate lover
Being in a relationship with Blitz and Ash
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RULES
I will write:
Canon character + OC
Canon character solo pieces
OC solo pieces
Self-inserts
AUs
I'm all okay with:
Angst
Character death
Writing pieces involving just platonic content (ex. a piece involving your OC being a friend or family member to an Operator)
Using neopronouns
Time-skips within the piece
Multiple side characters
Unrequited love (ex. one character loves one character, however said character does not return the feelings and/or loves a another character)
Brief and minor canon character + canon character ships featured on the side or in the background of a piece (however do note that there are some ships I am uncomfortable with and will not write! Feel free to ask me about this!)
Lgbtq+ couples (m+m, f+f, etc)
I will not write, under any circumstances:
Canon character + Canon character centered pieces
NSFW or any sexual content (however suggestive material or "fade to black" situations are okay to an extent!)
Hateful content
Extremely dark/sensitive subjects
Extremely OOC (out-of-character) characters
In most cases, NPC characters (however this can be discussed and I'll see what I can do if you're looking to commission something involving an NPC!)
Poly relationships, as I lack the confidence in writing these sbsjsh
Incest, or romance involving child characters; if you send me a DM asking about anything involving these I will block you
I also do not write for certain characters, DM me beforehand if you'd like to know which characters I will not write for or if you'd like to ask if I write for the characters you have in mind
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GUIDE AND PROCESS
Most important parts/Key info are in bold!
I only accept payment through PayPal (CAD)! Payment is to be paid via PayPal invoice (which I will send!)
If you're interested in commissioning me, send me a DM on my Twitter or here on Tumblr letting me know you'd like to discuss commissions! We can start from there~
As of right now, I write exclusively for Arknights and the characters of the game, and so OCs also have to be within the universe of Arknights! Additionally, I only write for Operators released to the EN server, not ones currently exclusive to the CN server!
Please note that for OCs, I require a description of their personality and a visual of their appearance (Picrews or avatar creators work for this!), at the very least!!
I have the right to decline a commission request if I believe I'm not capable of accomplishing it!
You can do whatever you'd like with your finished commission piece! However if you post it anywhere publicly you must credit me, you cannot claim the commission as your own work in any way, and you definitely cannot sell it or use it for any commercial purposes!
I reserve the right to cancel work on your commission and refund your payment if you make me feel uncomfortable anytime during the commission writing process.
-
Once we have discussed your commission and I have agreed to do it, I'll write an opening bit to the piece based on what we've talked about and send that to you! If it's not quite what you had in mind, we can discuss some more and I'll rewrite until you're happy with the opening lines I've come up with. And then that's when I can start and I'll place you in a commission slot!
Payment is to be sent in full after you approve of the opening lines I've written! I will not start your commission any further than those opening lines until I am paid.
Please let me know once you've sent the payment! If you don't send payment to me within 2 days of our discussion regarding your commission, I will assume something maybe came up and will remove you from the commission slot and I will not go any further with the commission until I hear from you again.
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Your commission may take longer depending on the length of the piece, my familiarity with the characters I’m writing for, and my schedule; commissions generally should take 1-3 weeks to finish!
As I work on your commission, I'll occasionally send you: updates on the current word count of the piece, excerpts from the piece, and what I've written most recently! You can also feel free to ask me for updates whenever you would like, however please do not spam me or insist on updates extremely often!
If I send you excerpts or parts of the piece I've just recently finished and you'd like something changed, please tell me and we can work through revising it how you'd like! I'm happy to make smaller changes. However please remember what we discussed and agreed on during our initial talk about your commission; please don't ask me to write in new things I didn't agree upon!
Once I am done, I will inform you about the commission's completion! If you would like to me to add any images (maybe you have art of your OC + canon ship, etc!) and alter the colour of the document, font, and/or font style I can do that as well before I finally finish and send the piece to you!!
I can send you the completed piece as a PDF or a Google document, or both! Let me know which you would prefer.
If you're uncomfortable with me using your commission as a commission example or posting it on my Tumblr or elsewhere, please explicitly tell me!
(My writing belongs to me, however: I do not claim personal ownership over any of the characters in my works unless I say so! All the characters I write for are owned by their respective owners.)
*The Arknights stickers I used are from the Arknights Fankit website HERE!!*
That's about it svshhs 👉👈!!! I'm rather excited about this aaa 🥳🥺 If you like my stuff lots and want to support me, or you just want a piece that's just for you, I'd be v v happy if you commissioned me aaa 💞!
If you have any questions that weren't answered here then please don't hesitate to send me a DM svshhs 👍
Tysm for your time and please have an awesome day 🌸!
Yours truly,
- Exe 💕
❝We all have our roles to play. Use my abilities as best as you see fit.❞
SilverAsh, Arknights
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Don't you think it's funny cause actual canon gay characters in BL manga will say "I love you" but only the shounen bromance can spew out some of the most romantic shit akin to a 19th century poet writing a letter expressing his surpressed love for his lover 😭.....
Cheers to that! That's actually why I started to enjoy shipping more than reading actual BL. And I'm reading BL since 18 years... Haha xD
But I also think I know why the bond between shonen characters seems stronger and more interesting as regular BL. At least I have a theory.
Regular BL or Romance in general is focusing actually on this: the romance. But most romances laking chemistry through a shared history, interest or story. They are driven together because that's the major plot point. There is not much world outside of this romance.
But having a well written story (non romantic) with well written characters just hits different. The point is not their romance but how they work as humans/beings. How circumstances like saving the world can change their relationship. How they fight together or against each other. It's how their bond is explore without romance. And sometimes this bond is so strong that the word 'romance' doesn't fit. They are more like 'soulmates' in any way and form. That's what I believe is the reason why so many people enjoy shipping within a good story.
Some ships even are canon. Like Achilles and Patroclus (a very ancient couple but whatever) their story isn't about their love alone but how they were cogs in a waaay bigger system. But their bond was so strong and unique through all odds. That's why I am so drawn to them.
And because these relationships are so strong the commercial word 'love' doesn't seems to fit for characters who have something so unique.
(this applies to all kinds of relationships not just gay love.)
Basically let the affection bloom naturally within your characters/story and don't force it.
Hope I could make my point somewhat clear as English is not my first language and I've got a bit rusty. Anyways this was a good point. Thanks anon <3
#Ask#answered#Plot over love#Idk if this all made sense...#Write a good story and the relationships came naturally
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Given how souls are an actual Thing within the universe of Nanatsu no Taizai, I'll be tackling the concept of soulmates itself within this post.
Now, all of the clans have some notion of a soulmate in one form or another and what it means. This post will start with how the humans in general view the idea of soulmates as a comparison point before I examine it through the lens of the demon clan.
When you ask humans what a soulmate is, most will have an answer along the lines of them being that single lifelong, romantic love fated for you. A soulmate is the One™. That Special Someone that ideally "completes" you.
You know what that means ? It means ( for them ) soulmates as an established concept are inherently amatonormative. It's "the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types." Aka the romance aspect takes precedence over everything. It reigns above all other relationships in your life on the basis of simply having romantic feelings, and you're supposed to strive for that since it's the norm. And if you don't fall in line with this way of thinking you're usually either perceived to have / made to feel like something wrong with you. There's no real way of getting around it, considering how baked into society it is.
Moving on, I'll now redefine it through demons. In another headcanon I mention how of everyone, it's them who are the most in touch with their souls, it’s them who are most literal with matters revolving around it, and how that consequently in turn shaped various aspects of their culture. This isn't any different.
Transcribing the original demon concept from their language, it can be roughly translated to a Welsh word: dwfnwym. Derived from dwfn and rwym, the word literally means 'deep bond' and can be loosely interpreted as such in English but it’s more nebulous than that and the bond itself is either natural or formed . The term 'soulmate' is actually more or less britannian slang they coined that other clans picked up and adopted.
Dwfnwym or a soulmate is simply someone that your soul recognizes or resonates with. More so a measure of affinity or compatibility that allows for an incredibly strong connection. It's not limited to one person so a person can have multiple soulmates. They don't really have anything to do with fate. It can be applied to all sorts of relationships, but there are cases of soulmates going sour. Additionally, there's nothing wrong with not having a soulmate at all. It's not a requirement in life or anything and many are perfectly fine with never having one.
Natural soulmates just happen and the connection exists passively. You can't really predict these, but you also don't need to do anything with it if you don't want to and it will remain as is. When you do invest in it, it gets stronger and stronger. However, it's rare finding even one. The odds of running into a natural soulmate in a lifetime are astronomically low, much less multiple.
Formed soulmates are demons who emulate natural soulmates by sharing a part of their soul with a partner. They need to go out of their way to make this connection. It's considered a pure expression of trust and it's not unheard of to hear bonds like this between family, lovers, and close friends. It's a lot to commit though, since if the person dies they actually take that piece of you with them and sometimes people can't cope with the loss. A person who has a natural soulmate can still engage in this and share a part of their soul with who they have that connection with.
There's no such thing as an end all and be all soulmate with demons. There's no penultimate other half that's completely on your level and they're your ideal, perfect match, destined to meet and overcome all odds. There's no fated, inescapable chain binding you, possibly against your will. It doesn't work like that.
When demons actually hear this they actually get a little worried because it's not great??? to hinge a concept like soulmates on missing parts of yourself ( halves of a whole ) and leaving it up to an "inevitability", rather than the intricacy of being whole in the first place and willingly sharing in it on your own terms, as the multiplication of two wholes and becoming something greater than the sum of your parts.
A relationship is a choice, and a soulmate is there to allow something to be built on top of that connection. A person and their partner(s) must work together to be good for each other.
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Mating bonds explained in HOSAB:
For shifters:
There were several definitions of the term mate—though Bryce supposed that to Ithan, to a shifter, only one mattered: one’s true lover, predestined by Urd.
For Angels:
The angels, she knew, used the term far more lightly: for the malakim, it was akin to a marriage, and matings could be arranged. Like breeding animals in a zoo.
“Angels have mates. Not as … soul-magicky as the Fae, but we call life partners mates in lieu of husbands or wives.”
For Fae:
The Fae had a similar concept—a mate was a bond deeper than marriage, and beyond an individual’s control.
“Mates are … an intense thing for the Fae.” She swallowed audibly. “It’s a lifetime commitment. Something sworn between bodies and hearts and souls. It’s a binding between beings. You say I’m your mate in front of any Fae, and it’ll mean something big to them.”
“But if we tell Ruhn that we’re mates, we’re as good as married. To the Fae, we’re bound on a biological, molecular level. There’s no undoing it.” “Is it a biological thing?” “It can be. Some Fae claim they know their mates from the moment they meet them. That there’s some kind of invisible link between them. A scent or soul-bond.”
So … maybe they were already mates, by that Fae definition. Maybe Urd had long ago bound their souls, and they’d needed all this time to realize it. But did it even matter? If it was fate or choice to be together?
It means that he’s going ballistic in the way that only mates can when the other is threatened. It’s what happened then, and what’s happening now. You’re true mates—the way Fae are mates, in your bodies and souls. That’s what was different about your scent the other day. Your scents have merged. As they do between Fae mates.
True mates. Not only in name, but … in the way that Fae could be mates with each other.
And let's establish something about Urd who we know now is The Mother as the Fae in Prythian know her:
“Urd twined our fates together,”
“I thought the Fae bowed to Luna, but perhaps you remember the old beliefs? From a time when Urd was not a goddess but a force, winding between worlds? When she was a vat of life, a mother to all, a secret language of the universe? The Fae worshipped her then.”
Mating bonds are preordained by Urd, the Mother, and Fate herself.
Angels do not have mating bonds, they call their significant other “mate” as an endearment. Matings can be arranged such as in Celestina and Ephraim's case. It is used as a term, not something that is actually a soul connection or a magical bond between two individuals.
As for the shifters, there is a one's true love predestined by Urd. It's also important to remember that the shifters were revealed to be originally Fae. The Asteri bred out the pointed ears and weakened their magic and so it's not far-fetched to also apply the Fae's soul bond on the shifters because they're both destined by Urd and the shifters originated from the Fae. They're likely the shifter Fae from Throne of Glass.
But her research into the bloodlines and the origins of the shifters, her belief that they’d once been a different type of Fae, from a different Fae world, [...]
The Midgard shifters were Fae from a different planet. All the Fae in that world shared their form with an animal. The mer descended from them, too. Perhaps they once shared a world with your breed of Fae, but they had been alone on their planet for long enough to develop their own gifts.” “They don’t have pointed ears.” “Oh, we bred that out of them. It was gone within a few generations.”
Danika had known the shifters had once been Fae. Were still Fae—but a different kind.
Now we come to the Fae, the mating bond is simply a soul bond. There is no other type of bond it is one and the same. It's deeper than marriage and beyond anyone's control. The Fae bond is biological.
As for there being a mate and a "true mate" for someone, there isn't such a thing. When the “true mate” term is mentioned, the context of it was to reassure Bryce that her and Hunt are actual mates, in a biological sense. Their souls are connected, so they are not calling each other mates as an endearment only but they are true mates as the Fae are. This is to emphasize that they are bound by soul.
HOSAB did not introduce other versions of mating bonds, there is only one and the same. It can be used as a term like the Malakim or it can be a soul bond like for the Fae and shifters.
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cpn: sweets from the 16th 🍭
I haven’t done this for awhile, so let’s look at some clowning material from the past 24 hours 🤍 usual disclaimer applies, it’s all a coincidence.
• I’ve already talked about GG’s 4/16 post here and here but there seems to be more, especially people drawing stuff! We learned from GG! 😂 The last one tho looks like he’s editing in their photo from Tencent or maybe it’s all an illusion— whatever it is, it’s still fun to draw things. I personally don’t trust GG at this point. At times I feel like he’s purposely fucking with us. He shares these things that seem like normal content but he hides clues in it and he knows there is a specific group of people that will lose sleep over it.
It's also the 1005th day of Chen Qingling's broadcast. It's 2022, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo are on the hot search again! 🥲 I guess GG might have seen that and decided to post.
Notice that YBO and GG’s perspective is the same, they are taking a photo/video of the clouds and you can see the white cover thing ( idk what it’s called lol).
Plus some BXGs did some searching and the tree looks like a match for a Hainan Red Bean tree. Now who do we know established a cultural technology company called Hainan Boyuan Cultural Technology Co., Ltd? Yibo. If you wanna find more meaning then it is said that Red beans, also known as Xiangsizi, have been used by people who love each other since ancient times. Red bean means missing your lover. It means a hundred years of harmony, and people think that red beans are a kind of spiritual auspiciousness. It means growing old together 🤍
BONUS: people are saying GG left work around 23:00 so it’s not true that he got “off work” at 1:23
• Now since I like symbolism and possible meanings, let’s go back to when GG sang Heartbeat / Tempting Heart in Our Song. He also performed this in one of his 2016 livestreams. When he was asked in Our Song rehearsal about why he chose it, this is what he said:
“I’ve liked this song since young because the lyrics were very beautifully written, especially the emotional struggle in relationships. 2 people who are in love couldn’t get together for some reason, and it’s regretful”
Well trust GG to gravitate towards the angst.
youtube
It’s from the movie Tempting Heart released in 1999 and the song also became popular. There is a scene towards the end of the film where you see a note that the male lead gave to the female lead. He would take a picture of the sky whenever he misses her. He only gave her the photos and the note just before he married someone else. It says : These are the days I miss you. I’m giving them to you! *cue sad music*
I like to think that this is not the case for GG/Web. They can take photos of the sky ( or moon ) when they miss each other and send it. Even if they can’t say it out loud, it can be shared in their social media and those of us who get it will understand. It doesn’t have to be kept and given at the end— it’s out in the open and those close to them ( and us clowns ) are supporting the love between the two.
• Sunrise & Sunset is a other recurring photo theme between the two of them. I know it’s a popular thing to take pics of but we clowning here so we gotta go a little deeper. I also like this clip from 2019 where Web was trying to take photos using a proper camera on set then he goes on to say that his phone takes good pictures. When he shows it off, it’s all blue sky/sunrise/sunset. In my CPN brain, GG teaches him how to use a camera. Web knows how much GG likes photography so he tries to understand it too. Their love language is sending each other photos and probably with some disgustingly sweet message with it.
• 4/15 was the last day for OOL’s airing for non-vip members so XZS decided to share Gu Wei’s OOTD. Fans really did love wei wei’s wardrobe in this show and it’s the first one where XZ was able to wear normal clothes so it made people really excited. One design detail that caught our attention is this photo where Wei Wei is leaning on the tires.
It is the only photo where there is something “extra” added in. The caption says something about the angle that Wei Wei is standing. It’s still out of place tho. If you look at that episode, he was leaning against a car while waiting for LZX. They can easily edit that out. The tires remind us clowns of moto tires and why did they add that to the (only) piece of clothing in color green?
• Yibo posted today at 11:16 but it’s about that space thing that came back after 6 months. I’m still waiting for a proper 4/16 post or maybe they are taking turns? Lol. with how it’s going, It seems like GG is taking charge of being the captain lately. 🙃
• They are on HS and the main photo is too funny! I hope the boys see it and get to laugh about it 😂
Happy 4th Anniversary!!! I wish someone would pick up and translate 限時狂想丨0805x1005’s essay from last year because that was where I read the line : “ we are still here.” and it stayed with me. 😌
Finally, look at this BTS video shared by rufeng. It’s so good especially at the end where they smile at each other as XZ and WYB. ❤️ I’m sorry to those who can’t access wb but OP does not allow sharing of their videos and photos.
sources:
https://m.weibo.cn/status/4758696871592892?
https://m.weibo.cn/status/4758681864897535?
https://m.weibo.cn/status/4758807622454047?
https://m.weibo.cn/status/4592683115348579?
#bjyx#yizhan#clowning and cpn bye#cpn thoughts#Youtube#i am thinking of sad songs and i wanna recommend SATURN by sleeping at last to GG
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the love project | jjk
summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.
{college!au, friends to lovers!au}
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
genre: fluff, comedy
word count: 12k
warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn
a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind
on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!
These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur.
At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.
Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks.
Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all.
Your best friend would have to disagree.
“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”
“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”
“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”
He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.
Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode.
Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn’t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments.
But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.
“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”
Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did.
He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself.
“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half.
“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”
“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”
“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”
“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”
“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you.
“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”
Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.
There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he’s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off.
The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything.
So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong.
“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds.
It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you.
“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated.
“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.
“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”
“What do you have to do?”
Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”
You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly.
“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”
“Oh,” You say dumbly.
“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”
“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you.
Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”
“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”
“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”
“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years.
“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”
He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost.
Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about.
“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”
“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”
He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.
“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”
“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless.
“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”
“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.
You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together.
Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest.
Click.
“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?
From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task.
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”
“Well, how many do you have now?”
It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.
You wonder what the hell he sees in you.
“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement.
“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk.
Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows.
It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click.
He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why.
“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?
“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”
“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.
Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”
You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”
“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”
“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”
“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair.
“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”
Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems.
The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you.
When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.
“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.
“I never want to miss anything.”
“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”
“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”
“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?
“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”
At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship.
You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it.
Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio.
Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic.
This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since.
It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have.
“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows.
“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”
“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in.
You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”
“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.
“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”
“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once.
“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”
“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.
“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”
Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”
“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”
“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”
“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this.
You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right?
The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.
“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins.
“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing.
You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”
You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention.
“Y/N!”
You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind.
Another voice breaks you from your trance.
“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide.
The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes.
“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”
“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to.
Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you.
“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”
The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”
Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you.
“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”
“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”
“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you?
What do you not know?
By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.
This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?
Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.
You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence.
Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them?
Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.
Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.
So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.
An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met.
And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.
The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.
“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.
The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor.
“Whoa.”
“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook.
“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”
“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”
“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”
“Yeah.”
It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date.
“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”
“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”
“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this.
“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”
Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”
“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”
“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”
“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”
You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you.
“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”
“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief.
Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”
He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it.
Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it.
And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory.
Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away.
You wonder what he sees.
(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)
“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.
You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders.
“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”
Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door.
“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”
There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.
“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”
Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door.
For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left.
The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind.
You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet.
[November 7th, 8:48PM]
You: you still game for that movie?
[November 7th, 8:50PM]
Jungkook: you finished your date already?
You: is that a yes or a no
Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that
You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me
You: i’m coming over
The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.
Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side.
But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet.
Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive.
“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist.
“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him.
“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them.
You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”
“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted.
“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”
Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing.
Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter.
“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”
“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”
To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash.
He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them.
“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.
Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him.
Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”
The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card.
“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black.
“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised.
Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure.
“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body.
The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is.
“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you.
“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”
“I want to see it.”
“What? My project?”
“What else?”
“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”
You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”
“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”
“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”
“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?
“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown.
“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back.
You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further.
“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.
Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”
And that’s good enough for you.
You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.
You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.
“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”
“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”
“How do you know what feels right?”
Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him.
The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet.
So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?
Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment.
The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester.
Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there.
Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that.
Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?
Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right.
“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”
“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk.
Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room.
You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world.
As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well.
The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen.
There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written.
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.
What?
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.
This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page…
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over.
“Y/N?”
You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling.
“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed.
“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom.
“Uh—”
“Were you reading my computer screen?”
It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else.
“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head.
(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.
If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over.
I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)
“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease.
“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart.
“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”
“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you.
“So you are hiding something?”
“That’s not the point, the point is that—”
“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”
“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving.
He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless.
“Jungkook—?”
“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”
“Know what? What would I know?”
Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”
The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating.
“You’re in love with me?” You ask him.
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”
You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”
Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”
“And you are mine,” you remind him.
“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”
“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”
And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain.
You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing.
But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure.
He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth.
He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about.
By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out.
“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”
“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.
“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”
Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process.
You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world.
“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”
“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”
“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”
“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”
“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”
“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious.
It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side.
“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her.
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”
↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!
#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#bts imagine#jungkook imagine#bts au#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#w: the love project#yes i am finishing this at 6am on the day its meant to be posted... MIND UR OWN BUSINESS
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What do you think it would be like if Madara loved someone romantically? I love your analysis and sorry for my bad english, I'm not fluent in the language. 💙
Hey Nailalala ! Thank you for your question and your interest in my little blog 🥰Your english is fine don't worry and anyway I'm certainly not judging you since it's not my mother tongue neither... *crying in broken english grammar*
Your question is hard because it depends which Madara are we talking about?
A) Pre- Izuna death
B) Post Izuna until Valley of the End
C) Post VotE to Edo Madara
D) Rikudo Madara
A) This period is probably where romance most likely have most chance to happened. He was still socialising with his clans, outsiders and have a kind of balance between duty as shinobi and emotional openness to others.
I think I don't have an idea different from most headcanons on Madara in love, so sorry if it sounds unoriginal. Here like often in Uchiha culture there is a very distinction between how they behave outside and in private. Someone romantically involve with him needs to be aware about this. His ego is VERY important to protect in social occasion. So probably not demonstrative in public. But in private Madara is very caring about your well being, protective and the PASSION IS STRONG ! With the Uchihas went they love, it's unconditional and intense.
Since 90% of his time is training, shinobi life and politics. His lover needs to be quite an emotional independent person having her own objective with or without him. And when he comes back from mission, he actually appreciate the routine life because he barely experience it since childhood. Normality is for him extraordinary, he loves sharing home cook breakfast, lunch, fixing something defecting in the house, drinking fresh iced tea in the garden when sun is high and hot in summer, feeding his falcons, practising calligraphy, complaining about anything for the sake of complaining, teasing his partner, reconciliation with wild sexe, promise to not do it again because he wants peace between us, bored and create new drama ect... So not at all a party animal, not even social event, He is about building home memories that he will carry with him when travelling outside.
But really his partner need to stand boundaries. Madara is about fire in the good, but also in the ugly side. Too submissive, he will eat you up and make your life a misery with his short temper. Too loud is as well unattractive to him (can't be two alpha in the same room). So it's a subtle mix of femininity and someone able to comeback quickly with a sharp answer and humble him. He is as well about earth aka control. If you don't put limits, he will be sneaky about everything you do. Who you see? why this frequency? Why do you wear this?
Ah yes and if Izuna doesn't like you, consider your relationship dead in the egg 💀
But mostly I think at this time he was very loyal, quite reclusive but a devoted partner.
B) Now you deal with someone who carry heavy psychologics damages, a war veteran who doesn't have anymore the same hope for future. He buried most of people he grew up with, Izuna but also all young uchihas boys and girls from his generation. His authority is questioned but also his new power feared. And his dark reputation of stealing his brother eyes is already on his way.
Everything applying above in A) can still work but it will take more time to let you reach the same level of intimacy. Patient and deep emotional partner are more lucky to get his attention. But it will be a relationship flirting with toxicity. A lot of instability in his behaviour. Anger, frustrations, depression, melancholy, fear of loosing you as well.
C) honestly chance are super low...but let's be crazy you hang out in the wood and he is outside near the cave (lol sounds like a creepy version of the little Red riding Hood) because even if a tiny light of hope comes to him, Black Zetsu will make sure that he sabotages and ruins this relation before it could lead anywhere. And you will end up being his pawn for his plan. I don't recommend!
D) Aside Jesus, I don't know who can save him at this point.😅
I think that's all I have to say, hope it answers your question...But good thing, your question has actually inspired me a sweet one-shot so bear with me, I'll keep you posted soon ! 😘
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