#mind dump
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Beauty exists because life exists. Vibrant plants look best when they’re well taken care of. Fields of green and patches of grass look best when they’re watered regularly. You can tell when a pet is doing well, fed well, brushed and washed and loved. In people, someone’s kindness makes them more beautiful. Someone’s sense of humor. The snort when they laugh. The way they mispronounce certain words, their habits, their individuality. The color in their cheeks, the little scars and the stories behind them (fell off of a trampoline, thought I could swing without holding onto anything, my sister hit me with the remote because we were fighting over the remote—and the way they laugh or shake their head telling the story). Expressing their emotions. Being fragile and soft. Being loud and talkative. Beauty is so interesting because it goes farther than outward appearances, and sometimes even seems to affect it. I think, the more unapologetically alive you are, the more beautiful you are. The more you find beauty in other people, in the depths of them and not just the way they look, the more you’ll find it in yourself.
#mind dump#bee tells a story#the healing (starts here)#growth in the self#comfort kindness family#positive#positivity#posi#positivity suggestions#positivity suggestion#self care#self love#self growth#mental health
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"You're young. You'll breed well"
OF COURSE I WILLLL 😩🙏🏻
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Και τέλος πάντων,για να είμαι ειλικρινής απλά προχώρησα μηχανικά...ποτέ δεν το ξεπέρασα.
Δοκίμασα να το πνίξω με άλλον έρωτα,με κρασί,με τσιγάρο, με παραπάνω χορό, με παραπάνω δουλειά...αλλά όλα κατέληγαν σε λυγμούς στο μαξιλάρι μου. Κι άλλωστε κι οι δύο ξέρουμε πως απεχθάνομαι τους εθισμούς. Και π��ραείμαι πειθαρχημένη για να γίνω αλκοολική ή καπνίστρια.
Οι φίλοι μου λένε πως είναι πια καιρός να πάω παρακάτω.
Όμως, δε σε ξέρουν. Δε μας ξέρουν. Δε μας έχουν δει μαζί,δε σε έχουν δει. Εγώ σε είδα. Αλλά δεν είμαι σίγουρη ότι σε ξέρω πια. Κι αυτό είναι το δύσκολο κομμάτι,γιατί κάποτε ήξερα κάθε λεπτομέρεια της ημέρας σου.
Ο άνθρωπος που ερωτεύτηκα δε βρίσκεται πια μαζί μας..κι εσύ φαίνεσαι καλά με αυτό. Άρα κι εγώ θα έπρεπε να είμαι. Μου αξίζει κι εμένα λίγη ευτυχία.
Άλλωστε,μάτωσαν τα γόνατά μου να κλαίω πάνω από το κουφάρι σου.
Κι όλα αυτά μακάρι να τα διάβαζες,μήπως νιώσεις έστω και λίγο πόσο με πόνεσε να σε βλέπω να αλλάζεις. Κι όσο τα διάβαζες,μακάρι να καταλάβαινες πόσο σιχαίνομαι που δε μπορώ να σε μισήσω.
#greek posts#tumblr#pareisakti#love#selflove#thoughts#mind dump#σκέψεις#έρωτας#πόνος#αγάπη#moving on
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Evil powerful lesbians!
So, I watched this show for kids, "Mia and me", because someone on Watty kept making jokes about it and wow... I love the villains. That evil queen (Panthea) and her general (Gargona) have such an awsome dynamic. The perfect mixture of powerabuse, arguing like an old married couple and glimpses of real admiration and care (like the fact that Panthea only takes her mask off in front of Gargona) (and that scene, where they litteraly ride on the same dragon, like some teen couple on a motorbike). It is a trope I love for villains *cough-Angbang-cough*. I soooo ship those dramatic evil girls!!!
I see them like:
Gargona: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Panthea: *weird glowing dark ritual, killing all plants in a 10 mile radius*
Gargona, blushing: Oh wow-
Or:
Panthea: There's no way she likes me back.
Rendom servant: General Gargona would throw herself of the tower for you, my queen.
Panthea: Gargona would throw herself of the tower out of pure foolishness.
(So as long as I don´t get Angbang interaction in canon I´m just imagining Melkor and Mairon as them :) )
#mia and me#panthea#gargona#angbang#mind dump#sorry this is kind of weird#mia and me memes#mia and memes?#incorrect mia and me quotes#evil lesbians#panthea x gargona#gargona x panthea
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I might actually start posting here again (I say this every time and end up hibernating again)
I’ve been so fucking tired lately. Like existentially deep deep in my bones. As a system we’ve been floundering a bit but better than usual honestly.
Here’s what yall missed, though.
We are medically recognized (would be fully DXed but didn’t want to put it on the chart)! Fuck yeah!!
Found out we survived Ramcoa and trafficking as a very small child (a lot less fuck yeah)
I miss the advocacy work we used to do but we got ran off the app because people decided to contact our family (wow, super fun guys)
It really is beleive survivors until they’ve survived something.
Now we’re back, focusing on writing, art and trying to exist.
We also started testosterone!! Which is a huge step for us as a collective and a massive weight off our shoulders as a system. Idk how much I’ll post on here, if I even will, but I want to. I like having a community to rant to. And it’s a lot less of a mental burden than Fucking tik tok.
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Now, obviously this is HIGHLY immoral and is definitely SA.
However, hypothetically speaking, would it be possible to Pavlov dog someone into being attracted to different things/people?
Like if you took a gay man and showed him pictures of naked women, followed with sexual stimuli, eventually due to the conditioning, would he begin to be aroused automatically when seeing a naked woman as opposed to not enjoying it previously?
PLEASE DON’T CANCEL ME I’M JUST DUMPING MY THOUGHTS ON HERE😭
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'can we make love?' 'would you let me make love to you?' 'i think we should make love.'
i honestly and personally think that making love is an art; beautiful and exposing. you are lying there, exhibiting all your flaws in their glory; all the icks you detest about yourself; all the things you wish you could change about yourself. you cudgel your brains about what might be running through your partner's mind while their eyes scan your body. but then, it is raw; it is love in its pure form when all you desire is to become one with that person. for some, it stems from a deep emotional connection and trust. for some, it could seem like the only way to make an emotional connection. it is not the same for everyone. maybe that's why it seems so euphoric. it is something that could tragically open a whole new plethora of emotions or become a painstaking memory, traumatic enough to numb you.
#love#poetry#dead poets society#bookblr#bookworm#books and libraries#bookstagram#books and coffee#book aesthetic#chaoticaesthete#organized chaos#chaotic academia#chaotic academia aesthetic#messy aesthetic#this is me trying#mind dump#random thoughts#life is strange#life is a series of contradictions and paradoxes#food for thought#dark academia#dark academia aesthetic#you do you#loveyourself#you're on your own kid#its ok to not be ok
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#moodboard#journaling#journal#bullet journal#diary#dear diary#diary entry#spring#organization#mind dump
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Okay so I was having more brain worms for my rottmnt Last Ronin AU.
Ronin Mikey for a long while is entirely alone. His father and brothers are dead, he doesn't know what happened to Draxum or April, and his home is gone.
Yet, sometimes he can swear he hears voices in the back of his mind. Familiar voices. He writes it off as going crazy and hearing things.
He isn't going crazy.
Ronin eventually finds April and Baron Draxum on separate occasions mostly in one piece, which is an absolute bittersweet relief both times.
Having somebody again is the world to Ronin.
An odd thing that's been happening with Mikey is that on occasion he's managed to use his brother's ninpo entirely on accident. When he's in high stress combat he's found himself forming one of Raph's projections to pack an extra punch, or one of Leo's portals to get away. He swears he can hear his brothers whenever this happens.
After enough times this tips Ronin off to something going on, so he meets Daxum as the resident expert on all things mystic. Draxum has seen Mikey's propensity for things mystic, and if that may have something to do with that. He's also aware of Karai's spirit in April's body.
Something is up.
Ronin ends up taking lessons with Draxum to master his mystic capabilities. There are very mixed results. Mikey should be highly powerful, Draxum has seen it before, yet if anything it only seems to get harder and harder for Mikey as time passes.
One day, Ronin asks if there is some way for him to connect to the afterlife, if there's some way to speak to his brother's spirits. It's intense, difficult, and requires a powerful connection, but it is possible.
So Draxum draws the the required markings on the ground, and they try.
Ronin can't do it.
This continues on for days, weeks, almost constantly and Ronin just can't. He can't use his ninpo, he can't connect to his brothers. The voices have been silent ever since he started. Ronin can't use his ninpo.
He's far too guilty for that.
So Ronin is stuck, drifting, desperately trying to speak with his family but failing time and time again. He continues his fight against the foot and gives up on seeing his brothers.
Ronin finds himself tossed around in waves of self imposed isolation and spending time with April. He wants to be around others, but how could he possibly deserve it?
April and Karai tells him it isn't his fault whenever they see him. That he couldn't have done anything. That as long as there's Hamato, there's hope. After a while, Ronin considers they may be right.
The time comes when Ronin tries to connect with his brothers again. He tries, and tries, and tries and it doesn't work why won't it work-
Until it does work.
His brothers are right in front of him.
Not only that, but they've been with him in his head the entire time, like Karai and April. He had just refused to allow himself to listen.
Okay, brain dump over.
I don't know whether this will be exactly cannon or not to the Au, but I think it's a cool concept
#mind dump#last ronin#rottmnt#rottmnt au#rottmnt mikey#I've had this idea for a little bit now#angst#But also a little happiness
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Why is a guy wearing a watch SO HOT like
#just girly things#girl blogger#girlblog#im just a girl#it girl#lana del rey#pinterest girl#becoming that girl#that girl#glow up#lizzie grant#dream self#mind dump
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Spamming screenshots from things ive already said for Golden Shrike rant
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When I have the time, I want to practice drawing backgrounds. Specifically ones that evoke the feeling of these images. I love them and want to include something like this in my OCs' worlds.
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I have lost my feelings for you
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I think one of the hardest things about learning to draw, self-teaching how to draw, is trying to be consistent and learning the fundamentals and basics when all you want to do is jump in and make what you want when you don’t have those skills in your mental library.
Because, while I am making drawings Alhamdullilah, they aren’t at the standard I want nor at an exact free-handed freedom I want.
Idk, it’s just hard to want to do so many things at once and then not being able to just *DO* the thing is hard sometimes.
I will also mention, being neurodivergent when learning new skills is either; yes! I’ve mastered it already! OR I didn’t get it the first time. Everything sucks. Why can’t I do things other people can.
And then trying to tell yourself and make yourself believe the TRUTH that, they have been drawing and making and doing for much longer than you have.
Idk, I felt like I needed to write this for myself while I’m learning so I can come back to it when I feel insecure and just remember that I CAN do it.
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I remember laying on the grass and staring up at the stars. I always thought that one day you'd be beside me laying there. I liked to imagine the sensations around me. The bugs flittering by. The wet grass on my back. The frogs croaking away. And most importantly, your heat radiating onto my skin. I had it all planned out in my mind, and it was amazing. I would daydream all day about the situations we could get in, things that could happen, anything and everything. But the one constant was always you. You were always next to me no matter what the scenario was. Now when I daydream, there's a void, a formless blob that takes your place. I don't have you to fill that role anymore, and I don't know if anybody else can or will. Sometimes I daydream and instead of the void, it's literally nothing. I struggle to think now of a world where I have somebody there. And I have to lay on the grass on my own, looking at pairs of stars.
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