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tummy-bump-king · 1 year

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When I met my classmate in a UV-lit nightclub five months ago, he didn't know it was me. We had been in the same cohort, working under the same graduate advisor, for about a year at that point, so you might have expected him to notice, but it really wasn't his fault. We don't actually know each other that well and besides, I was somewhat...dressed up that evening.

He knows me as a nice but reserved guy who tries maybe a little too hard for that classic academic vibe with the sweaters and the horn-rimmed glasses. There's no reason he would associate that image with the excitable woman in the fishnets and miniskirt he'd met that night. Even if the club had been well-lit and I'd attended makeup-free, I get the feeling he'd be too busy staring at my cleavage to notice anyways. He doesn't even know I have cleavage.

Anyway. I'd seen him watching me for most of the night. When I finally approached, it took no urging to stumble back into a private room. His lips were on mine and his hands on his belt before the door even closed.

I bent down to kiss him back and guided him to the low bed, laying him down and allowing him to watch as I removed my skin tight garments. The boots, of course, stayed on.

I rode him hard as he worshiped my breasts and thighs. He came inside me and we remained locked together a while longer as I nibbled at his ear and neck, making him shiver in his post-orgasm haze. I didn't come, but it had been fun enough.

I redressed and went home to clean myself off, leaving him there.

It seemed pointless to tell him the truth. We had a perfectly fine working relationship, and I didn't want to ruin that in exchange for awkward, stilted conversation, or god forbid, transphobia, just for the sake of one half-sober encounter. He could keep his memories and I could keep mine.

I didn't realize there had been consequences of that night until almost four months later. I hadn't had my period in years since switching hormones, and I only got sick for a few days, chalking it up to something bad I ate. It was only with the aggressive cravings and sudden weight gain that I began to connect the dots and went out to buy a test.

I doubt anyone has noticed any change yet. My stomach wasn't exactly flat before, and I wear several layers daily anyways, so a few extra inches around the middle is hardly likely to draw stares.

I know about it though. So when I happen to catch sight of him in the lab or the office, or when I feel a slight ache in my chest or the growing weight of my center, I can rest my hand upon the subtle curve and know.

I can't hide it forever, of course. Not with clothes at least. Another month or two and I know the curve of my belly will begin to strain against the soft fabric of my sweaters and hang over the waistband of my pants. My breasts will swell and my ass will expand. I'll be front-heavy and take up more space than I'm accustomed to. I won't be able to sit fully against my desk or my steering wheel and my lunches will be twice as big, and my hands will rest comfortably atop the swell of my abdomen or cradle it carefully from below, and even with all of that they will not know. He will not know.

Because with the hair on my face and the timbre of my voice, who would ever suspect.

#my post #text #fic #imagine #preg fic #mpreg #ftmpreg #queer #trans #transgender #trans man #drag #drag queen #secret pregnancy #hidden pregnancy #didn't mean for this to sound like gone girl lmao but I think it's fun

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rom-e-o · 25 days

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✅Connie Turn Ons/Offs🚩

After yesterday's post about her chemistry with each Scrooge, I realized she has a lot of things she likes, as well as some icks, that I’ve never put to paper.

So, for another fun writing exercise:

(Info under cut, rated 16+ for innuendo and non-explicit sexual details)

Turn-Ons ✅

-Awkwardness. It’s her biggest green flag. Not that she doesn’t love a suave man, but a man who stumbles over his words a bit or blushes when he sees her, it MELTS her. Nobody pretends to be awkward (not usually, anyway) so she perceives someone as being more genuine if they stammer a bit or get tongue-tied.

-Suaveness. Both can exist in tandem, haha. Just like she finds awkwardness endearing, suaveness also sweeps her off her feet. Maybe it’s a smooth kiss, or seamlessly helping her avoid paparazzi, or maybe it’s flipping her over in bed like she is featherlight. That gets her going, for sure.

-Higher Libido. Connie herself has a below average libido. She definitely has one, but it’s not as pressing of a need for her to function. So, having a partner with a higher libido, or even an average one, kind of helps her feel a little more healthy about sex. It balances things out, so to speak. It stops things from feeling stagnant, for her. She finds it attractive when her partner pulls her aside and says, “I’m in the mood, and tonight, I want to be with you, if you’d like that too.”

-Touch. Connie’s love languages are touch and words of affirmation, so touch is big for her. Hugs, kisses, hand-holding, even her partner’s hand just lingering on her waist? She adores it. Even platonically, she’ll hug her friends, or kiss their hands during hard sobbing sessions. After Orin, it’s a little bit like trying to touch a wounded deer, but she relearns to trust and will SINK into an embrace like nobody’s business.

-Good Listening. Connie literally doesn’t care if someone is introverted or extroverted. Hell, she grew up with a talkative mother and a nonverbal father. It’s good listening that matters. She tries to do it, and if she sees her partner is giving her undivided attention and truly listening, she definitely notes it positively.

-Leadership. A partner to guides the way and paves a path for her will make her swoon. When she was a socialite in New York with Orin, she was tasked with always planning everything alone. Having someone that takes responsibility off her shoulders willingly, and gives her credit for all the work she does? It would move her to tears.

-Body Hair. Girl loves body hair on her partner. Not much else to say, haha. It also inspires her to no obsess over waxing and shaving twice a day, every day.

Neutral⬜️

-Size. She honestly doesn’t care. Three inches or 10, she cares more about the visitor than the package they bring.

Turn-Offs 🚩

-Abusive Behavior. When she married Orin, she thought he was a loving, scrappy young man with a tenacity for life and a mind for finance. Instead, she got a controlling lunatic who used her for his own status elevation, and participated in a group assault on her on their wedding night. She was gaslit into thinking she ruined him, not that he was actively trying to ruin her for his own gain.

-Possessive Behavior. You know dirty talk that veers into, “I just want to lock you up and keep you to myself” or “I saw you talking to that other man - you’re mine, remember?” Nope. Noooope. Not for her. Even if it's roleplay.

-Public Grand Gestures in her Honor. So, Connie likes parties. Clubs. Dancing. She LOVES big events, like balls and galas. HOWEVER. She gets super uncomfortable when something huge and public is done FOR HER. Orin’s public proposal in a bar? No. A huge surprise party filled with people she doesn’t know? Super stressful. You want to erect a new library in her name? Please no, name it something more meaningful to the community. She doesn’t need the flattery from people she doesn’t know. You know in “The Little Mermaid” when Eric saw a statue of himself? Those vibes.

-Thinking Hygiene is Overrated. She is not a woman that’s impressed by “I use one bar of soap for everything”. Nope. If someone can’t take care of themselves and keep their body/living space clean and maintained, she’s not interested. She also isn’t deterred by partners who use a lot of beauty/hygiene products. She doesn’t find it weird or ‘too feminine’.

-Voyeurism. Especially nonconsensual voyeurism. She already deals with paparazzi and photogs enough. She doesn't want it in her private life.

#oc lore #oc constance dogoode

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kayleigh-83 · 11 months

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Thanks for tagging me @eulaliasims

1. What’s your favourite sims death? Never thought about having a favourite, maybe the cowplant? Or maybe when death results from something usually mundane like hail or lightning (I’ve had that one).

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Mainly Maxis match, but I think of my style as like 90% MM and 10% semi-realistic (more on the BB side) because I do find the occasional thing that fits in with my style from that aesthetic. And I feel like my style is somewhere between the true Maxis match and the cartoony style.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No? Seems odd!

4. Do you use move objects? Constantly, it’s on more than it’s off. I have an alias set up in my cheat file.

5. Favorite mod? Wow that’s a hard one to narrow down, so I’m gonna choose a few. Based on what has the biggest and most widespread effects, I’d say ACR, Community Lot time, and the whole Traits system (that’s cheating since it’s a million mods but I don’t care lol)

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Would have been the very first pack, so University I guess! When the games came out I was living at home still and my mom played too, so we always got them relatively soon. Uni came out a month or so before my birthday so I suspect I probably got it as a gift that year.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVE as in LIVING, @eulaliasims is 1000% correct.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? So not counting born in game? Sort of a tie but I’ve always been very fond of Joshua and Roxanne Lewis, they were two of Brightmaple’s founders - the first ones I thought up, and first ones I created.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes, in my old neighbourhood, I was a vampire along with the Sim version of my cousin. We lived in a huge Victorian mansion I built where I sent all the vampires in the hood to live.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Brooding, couch potato, good, loves the heat, hopeless romantic

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Don’t really have one I guess.

12. Favorite EA hair? Also don’t really have one lol.

13. Favorite life stage? Probably adult because the most happens, but I also really enjoy toddler which is a hot take in most circles.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Both! The building is fun and a creative outlet for me, but I do it so I can create more immersive and enjoyable worlds to play in too.

15. Are you a CC creator? Yes but on and off, I do it purely for fun and primarily for things I want in my game. So I take long breaks of making nothing at all, when I’m not in the mood.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I wouldn’t really say so? I do chat with people from time to time and have lots of great acquaintances on here! I find it to be a generally very nice community. But I usually find online friendship difficult since I find it harder to read people purely through text with no baseline for knowing them irl, for things like tone of voice/mannerisms/body language and just general vibe.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Well I think it’s pretty obvious TS2 has ruined all other games for me (not just other Sims games either).

18. Do you have any sims merch? nope

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Actually yes! For speed builds.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Gotten more Maxis match in terms of aesthetic, if you scroll back to like, pre-2017 on my blog you can see that for sure. For play style it’s a lot more structured - pure rotational so ages sync, more wants based, paying a lot more attention to their personalities etc.

21. What’s your Origin ID? I’ve been playing with either the RPC Launcher or a no-CD crack since the day I switched to the UC, so although I do have an Origin ID I’ve literally used it probably twice ever. So no idea!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? There’s too many to pick!

23. How long have you had a simblr? My very first Simblr post was July 31, 2016. Before that I had a bit of a hiatus from playing for a few years, and before that I was on Livejournal/Dreamwidth.

24. How do you edit your pictures? My photo editing program (PSP8) is literally from the era of TS2 itself, which seems appropriate. It’s always worked perfectly well for me - I downloaded Photoshop a couple times but always found doing the same actions clunky and unfamiliar, so I stick with what I know. I adjust curves, saturation, and add a very slight (probably imperceptible) bloom effect. Then I crop in, and I resize by width - meaning my pics are always the same width, but the height varies slightly. I prioritize getting everything into the frame that I want, and don’t really care if the heights are different.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? If I were making up hypothetical TS2 EP’s? I wouldn’t have minded something like Superstar from the Sims 1, having my Sims become famous (if it was done more like OFB/hands on style rather than “off to work in a carpool for the day” style) would have been pretty fun.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? That’s really tough to pick. Probably Seasons (such world building!), Freetime (the hobbies system adds so much depth for me!) or Open For Business (my whole hood has no EA careers and only businesses sooo...) or Pets?? I love my Sims having pets. They’re all so good!

I’m seeing this going around, so please allow me to tag @you if you haven’t been yet and wanna do this!

#ts2 gameplay #ts2 maxis match #ts2 tumblr #ts2 #simblr #ts2 simblr #maxis match #thesims2 #sims 2 #the sims 2

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bonky-n-steeb · 3 years

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𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴

𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.

ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ

Oh, lawd! i have to post everything again! Send me all your energy. If you wanna be tagged, just inform me!

Also, I’ll be changing the story by a little, (or by a lot, idk) from my previous version.

You were feeling like John Travolta from the music video of Stayin’ Alive. Vibing to your own rhythm, living your own freedom. Attending college miles away from your hometown, you were the captain of your ship. Though you loved your parents more than anything, you were glad for the freedom granted upon you.

Your Freshmen year had just begun and you had already made a few friends. But what you didn’t want to accept just yet was your crush on one of them, Bucky. With his steely blue eyes and boyish charm, even a goddess might fall for him, and you were just a mortal. You were simply happy with being friends as you believed he would never like you and well, a little crush never hurt nobody.

Completing your shift in a local bookstore, just outside the campus, you were walking back, lost in your own thoughts. What caught your attention was a group of howling high schoolers; from the look of it, they were barely a year to two younger than you. A group of tall and popular kids were bullying a skinny, helpless dude; ufff the usual cliché you thought to yourself. What you failed to notice though was his bleeding nose.

You were a kind soul, always helping others, but you were no fool. All alone in an unknown town, you weren't going to confront the burly teens who were twice your own size. After giggling and cracking some stupid jokes on the poor dude trying to impress a girl, they left him and that’s when you noticed all the blood. You quickly crossed the road and walked towards him. He seemed smaller than he was as he was crouching down and trying to rub all the blood.

“Hey! Pinch your nose, don’t disturb it by rubbing.” you said while bending down. “Uhh, okay... thanks!” he looked at you with big doe eyes and you were utterly mesmerized by the blue oceans he had for his eyes. “Do you.. Do you need something else kid? Where do you live?” you asked giving him a candy and your water bottle. “I’m no kid!” he exclaimed and you flinched.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. You are helping me and here I am shouting at you.” You could clearly see remorse in his eyes and you wondered why would someone hurt him? “yeah, yeah.. It's Okay... now have this candy, the sugar will help you feel better.” you said with a soft smile. “thank you so much... and by the way I live two streets across. I mean I can go by myself, I'm a grown-up.. But...” he trailed off and you helped him get up.

“I’m Steve” he tried his best to smile and you followed by sharing your own name. And with that his chatter train began, he explained that he was just trying to help another girl getting bullied, when the bullies decided to change their target and chase Steve instead.

“you should wear your own mask first and then help others wear theirs.” you quipped and instantly bit your tongue. “Hmm, what?” he asked genuinely curious. “what I meant is that you did what is correct and very brave, but sometimes you gotta think for yourself too. But these are just my thoughts.” you shrugged. “I’ll remember that.” he said with a genuine expression. And after a million thank yous he finally went in his house. By the size of his house, he seemed rich and you wondered maybe this wasn't that cliché.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

The next day, you were walking back the same road, when you thought of Steve. He really was a kind and sweet person. This world needed more of people like him. And just then you saw him smiling brightly and waving at you, his nose bandaged. He had a huge box in his hand.

“Heyyyyy! Thank you for helping me yesterday. So I just... kinda got this as a ... a token of appreciation. I considered you might like donuts, so I got you this.” He said rubbing his nape. His cheeks had become so red he looked like a ripe tomato. “well, if you haven’t already given me diabetes by saying so many thank yous, after eating sooo many donuts I’ll surely get it.” At that you both chuckled and the atmosphere became lighter. As you picked a donut, he looked at you with such admiration you thought you would melt then and there.

Suddenly with a stern expression you asked “what if it’s drugged?” His eyes widened and he stuttered, “I... I would never do that ...” he looked down and you thought he might cry. “hey waittt.. don’t get so sad.. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I was just joking. I have this really bad habit of saying things when I shouldn’t. God I just ruined everything.” You just made a mental note not to joke around him, he seemed to be quite emotional. Though it was going to be difficult to tame your tongue. “don’t be. I just take things too literally.... anyway let’s have some donuts what say?” He said with such shine in his eyes you wondered whether he was sad just a moment before.

You both walked up to your university campus, munching on donuts. You both shared things about yourselves. You told him how you were passionate in becoming a doctor. He on the other hand talked about his struggles in studying. “will you help me? You are so smart and bright, will you help me study if I have a doubt or something?” he asked giving his big doe eyes.

You weren’t going to agree at first, you had just met him a day ago. But after looking in those calm blue pools of his eyes you agreed. Seeing the joy on his face, you wondered whether he just won an Oscar.

What you didn’t know was that Steve had already fallen in love with you, yes love, he was convinced that you were the one for him, his one true love. Not a moment had he been able to think of anything but you since he had met you. You were everything he needed and wanted and much more. He was simply desperate to spend more time with you.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

It had been around six months since you met Steve. Over the time you two had turned out to be best friends. While Steve had fallen even more in love with you, you had fallen hopelessly in love with bucky. While you always told bucky about Steve and vice versa, you never confessed to Steve about your love for Bucky, thus furthermore increasing his hopes. You desperately wished to make Steve and Bucky meet. They were two important people in your life and you more than anything wished that they got together well.

Today was the day when you decided to arrange a small meet and greet at the park where you and Steve met every day. You and Bucky walked together towards the tree where you usually sat with Steve waiting there for you. You knew both would like each other, but somewhere deep within your gut you were getting a not-so good feeling about this.

Steve’s eyes lit up seeing you but as they turned to Bucky, it felt as if all the energy had been sucked out of him. You didn’t like that one bit. “Bucky!?” Steve exclaimed in half disappointment and half fear. “You both... you both know each other?” you ask bewildered. You tried chuckling to lighten the mood but by the looks of it they were sworn enemies, but you prayed that you were wrong. “yeah, we know each other a little too well... Uh... We were good friends once.” Steve quietly admitted.

All this time Bucky had his jaw clenched, dragging in a deep breath he began. “I knew it! I knew it would be you, you little fucker! You want to have everything don’t you? Goddammit! I had this feeling it was you but I thought it was too much of a coincidence, but no. fate had to be so cruel.” you were shocked to see Bucky's sudden outburst. You wondered what conspired between the two, as either hadn’t ever mentioned the other.

You were snapped out of your thoughts with Bucky calling your name. “let’s go. I don’t want to see him even for a minute more and neither do you.” Bucky started pulling your hand but you stopped him “Bucky no. I guess you have some misunderstanding; Steve is a good person. And you don’t get to tell me who to talk to and who to not.”

Suddenly Bucky turned back to Steve, anger written all over his face. “You didn’t tell her, huh, did you? Don’t worry I'll tell her. Steve is the son of Joseph Rogers and he is the freaking Don Corleone of this area. Do you know how my father died? Steve’s father had him killed just because unknowingly he provided shelter to his father’s fugitive. Steve just pretends to be a caring, emotional person but he is a snake behind that mask, so is everyone in his family.” towards the end Bucky was in tears and you were in utter shock. Now that you tried to remember, Steve never really did tell you much about his family. And the fact that Steve wasn’t denying any single allegation made you want to puke your guts out.

“You have taken too much from me. But not this. Not her. Not the woman I love more than anything.” Bucky said it out loud in the heat of the moment. You were too dumbstruck to even blink. Did Bucky just confess that he loved you?

Bucky turned to you and held your arm with such softness you wondered if he was just now screaming his lungs out at Steve. “I know I can't tell you who to be with, and I promise I never will in the future, but trust me you want to be caught up with him or his family. And still, if you choose him, well then, I can’t be with you.”

You knew you had to make a choice then and there, there was no going back, and you chose Bucky.

#chris evans #sebastian stan #mcu #marvel #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #mob!steve #dark!bucky #mob!steve x reader #dark!bucky x reader

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genshin-latte · 3 years

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Childe propaganda anon here! While it is expected that I request content for my clown, after reading the winter holiday prompts I would like to request a scenario for adventurer reader and diluc using the prompt "Come here, you're freezing". Maybe winter has fully set in, and the Dawn Winery is covered in snow, and the reader swings by from one of their travels, definitely underdressed for the weather change and Diluc offers them a way or a place to warm up. I just suddenly wanted soft cute winter vibes w Diluc 🥺💖💖💖

Lmao #2 was somehow the most requested but where’s the surprise. Also I put off posting this till my birthday, it’s the 21st here alr so yay! Smol birthday present for myself too 😳👉👈 Im legal I can write n$fw now

P.S they r both stupid

Prompt #2 : “Come here, you’re freezing.”

Pairing : Diluc x gn! Reader

Word count : 1,210 words

Warning : mildly suggestive

It was a little after dark, the air was piercing cold and the streets were dark except for the few dim lights. Your dragged yourself through the snow, your ragged breaths quickly turning into misty clouds. You shivered as you rubbed your hands together, attempting to create some heat.

You had planned to return earlier, but that commission took way longer than you had expected. By the time you were done the sun had set and you wouldn’t have enough time to get back to the city. Furthermore you had not expected for it to snow in the middle of your trip. So you headed to the closest place you could think of, the winery.

Snow covered the winery’s grounds as they settled on the wooden crates sitting just outside the entrance, the usually green grass was buried in white, the roofs were pure white, it was white as far as the eyes can see. The colourful fairy lights hanging on the building’s walls stood out compared to the rest of the scenery. You see a grass ring with the words ‘merry christmas’, hanging on the front door.

The sight made you smile, it was rather surprising. You hadn’t expected Diluc as the type to enjoy Christmas to the point he’d decorate the place. If anything, you had thought he’d despise the holiday, or perhaps it was the maids who decided to bring in the christmas spirits. Either way, it was a rather refreshing view.

The click of the wooden door brought you back to the present, the man from your thoughts suddenly standing infront of you. His usually tied hair falls loose to his waist, he was wearing an extra coat, and you notice that his gloves seem to be thicker than usual. It seems like he was about to head out.

“What are you doing out here?” He eyes your shivering form. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you try to shoo away the cold.

“Y-yeah... you see...” you trailed off, laughing nervously in the process. He only sighed, stopping your explanation

“Come inside.” He held the door open just enough for you to slip in.

“I-I thought you w-were heading out?” Your words trembled along with your body. He looks at you with his usual deadpanned expression “and leave you to freeze?”.

“Uhm. I-I guess?” You felt rather bad having to interrupt his plans, you know how he dislikes having them ruined. “Thank you.” You whispered as you took his offer, stepping inside the warm room.

He gives you a small nod, and perhaps it was just you but you could’ve sworn you saw his expression soften. You see him mouth something to his butler before leading you to the guest room.

“Achoo!” that was the third time you sneezed. You sat on his sofa across the fireplace, wrapped with layers of blanket, attempting to take a sip on the hot chocolate he had prepared for you.

You heard him sigh, he stood from his seat and moved beside you. You immediately felt warmer, perhaps it was because of his vision but you want nothing more than to snuggle him so you can feel more of his warmth.

As if he could read your thoughts, he said, “Come here, you’re freezing.”

“Huh?” You looked at him in confusion. Was he? Is he? If it wasn’t for the cold, your mind —you heart— would have combusted. You shifted closer anyway, awkwardly laying your head on his shoulder.

“Like this?” You hear his dissatisfied grunt as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. With your head resting on his chest, and both his arms around you, you could feel nothing but the rising heat on your face and your heart that seemed to beat twice, no three times faster.

It almost overlapped with his, but you could hear it, his heart beat was no more steady than yours. Was he nervous? You shifted your eyes to him. His gaze was locked on the window, perhaps he was watching the snow fall, or perhaps he just couldn’t face you.

The light blush on his cheeks was subtle, even more so in the dim light of the fireplace but it’s there, your eyes couldn’t have lied. You let out a little laugh, he was too cute for your liking. The way he averts his eyes and the way his lips would turn into a firm line, the things he does to hide the intense emotions he feels, it’s so endearing. You could kiss him right there, perhaps, you could.

“Hey.” Your voice might have cracked out of nervousness but that’s the least thing you’re worried about.

He turns to you, you didn’t give him a moment to spare and pulled at his shirt, pressing your lips against his. You pulled back, attempting to see his reaction though you didn’t get the chance to do so. He leaned in further as you move back, placing a hand on the back of your head to push you back for another kiss.

Things escalated faster than you would expect, the more you tried to pull back the more he’d deepen the kiss. His kisses soon turned needy, aggressive. In less than he minute, you had him pinning you against the sofa, your arms around his neck and legs tangled together.

“Mhm.. Diluc?” A small moan left your lips, as he started trailing kisses down your jawline, nipping at the junction of your neck. You might have started it but you no longer had any idea what was happening.

Hearing a knock, you shifted your eyes towards the door, whilst your companion had pretended to ignore it. He saw your attention was no longer on him, placing a thumb on your chin he caught your lips once again. Tongue pushing past clenched teeth, you couldn’t help but melt into him.

“Master Diluc?” You recognized that voice, it was his butler, he must have told him to come earlier.

He groaned, upset to have been interrupted. He stood up, fixing his shirt before approaching the door. You were frazzled. Perhaps the intrusion was what you needed to catch your breath.

You see the butler peek in through the gap of the door before the redhead shut it close, a tray of cookies in hand. He placed the cookies on the table before settling himself beside you, sighing in frustration.

It was fine during the heat of the moment, but now, embarrassment was starting to get to him. Well, you were the one who initiated it but he doesn’t understand what exactly you had meant by that.

“Sorry.” You coughed out, sensing that he must have been uncomfortable. You didn’t even dare to meet his eyes.

His brows furrowed as he looked at you, he didn’t mean to make you upset. He just... doesn’t know how much further you would’ve let him go. He doesn’t, he never wants to hurt you.

“Do you mind...?” You felt his hand brush against your thigh. You finally looked at him, biting your lip out of nervousness. The gesture only made his impatience grow. He wanted nothing more than to ravor you.

You let out a timid smile at his gesture,

“No, not at all.”

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact diluc #genshin diluc #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #genshin x reader #diluc #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin diluc x reader #genshin impact scenarios #cup of latte #christmas in teyvat

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unpretty · 3 years

Text

astielle ch 28 spoiler ask dump~~

anonymous asked:

Tauril-form is puberty, because that's when his voice changes. Abysscale-form is college-age because that's when he goes to his first orgy.

anonymous asked:

You called Abysscale-form college-age (which does not preclude teenage sexscapades given the ages that go to college) and that tracks with how I think of Tauril-form as going through puberty (because of the voice-change). But if Tauril is the horny teenager that's kind of sad. Because as Minnow has pointed out many times That Dick Will Kill.

not each other, it won't!! although i imagine taurils sleeping with each other would have the bro-iest vibe. very bill and ted. taurils also have Options with people who aren't giant bull centaurs, it's just awkward is all. fortunately for everyone taurils are actually adults and are not full of hormones, they just have zero impulse control and when they like someone they want to impress them and spend time with them and it doesn't necessarily occur to them to get their dicks involved in the situation (karzarul's mind was elsewhere the first time he was a tauril)

anonymous asked:

When Violet said monsters make the best mercenaries and throw the best parties I didn't think about it, but the fact that all the impyrs came into being with swordsmanship skills equal to Lynette probably had something to do with the former. Even if ten isn't that many, THEY COME BACK. (Eventually. In, like, a month.) And the others probably learned from Lynette, even if they died. Lynette's unintentional teaching, back again.

they learned from the best murdering them repeatedly

anonymous asked:

When Ari is repopulating, and he skips Black Drakonis, he says "Makes sense." But he's surprised when Violet points out that Black Drakonis is missing, so it sounds like he at least had a theory/assumption at the time for why she was skipped, but it doesn't match with the new information.

he initially just assumed that black drakonis had managed to avoid being killed the whole time, which made sense because she's a big dragon and she can just fly away if someone is trying to murder her. but generally if a bigass monster is alive someone is going to see it, especially her, because she likes finding population centers to try to guard.

anonymous asked:

"It also occurred to him that trying to get Minnow to act like she lived in a society since they were young may have negatively impacted his sense of what constituted an acceptable thing to say to a person while his dick was out." Is just HILARIOUS.

anonymous asked:

Honestly I can relate to Leonas cause just last week I was like 'I keep falling asleep in class maybe I should develop a caffeine addiction' and one of my friends was like 'pls eat more food' so I started to actually have breakfast and an after work snack and I magically stopped falling asleep in class

anonymous asked:

Minnow's hips don't lie, but castle ruins are strangely deceptive.

everyone who wasn't following along when astielleblogging intersected with kink taxonomy hell is going to be so confused if/when minnow finally gets stuck somewhere

@9ofspades asked:

Ari is my favorite again and I want him to have actual eternity to be happy with his poly soulmate throuple together. And also his big monster family. Also I think he's wrong about what the core of the Heir and Hero are - both of them have, deep in the core of their souls, the fact that they are Monsterfuckers.

for the record i have a post in my drafts with all of your readalong asks and i still haven't decided what to do with them but i enjoyed them IMMENSELY

anonymous asked:

>looking for food >ask the cook if their food is earthy or wet >she doesn't understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is earthy and what is wet >she laughs and says "it's good food sir" >buy some food >its wet

@ivylaughed asked:

I love the tumblr meme references in Astielle. The guards bringing their own knives; there being an infinite variety of brassica oleracea; the fucking chocolate guy. I'm half-waiting for a children's hospital/color theory reference. Thank you for the easter eggs.

i'm glad someone read 'chocolate birdhouse' and immediately thought THAT FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY AGAIN ashjasd

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say that as a plant nerd and forager I deeply appreciated Minnow's surprisingly accurate botany lesson.

unfortunately all the books that leonas gave minnow are still at her house and so she cannot cite sources for the existence of hemlock, queen anne's lace, and giant hogweed

anonymous asked:

“I think you overestimate people’s willingness to admit when things don’t make sense to them," lmao Minnow has a point

will the two men she is with learn from this and start admitting when they don't know things they think they should and are confused? absolutely not.

anonymous asked:

XD Ari hears "Kavid" and immediately attempts a strategic retreat.

anonymous asked:

“‘you should get dressed’ is a complete sentence.” Is making me laugh.

it's probably for the best because if he actually had known all three of them were out there it would have taken him like an hour to get ready and he would have had at least one breakdown about how none of his outfits were good enough and it was all nari's fault

anonymous asked:

Kavid: I will be happy to HAVE YOU ALL *lascivious eyebrow wiggle* at my earliest convenience.

anonymous asked:

"he gets smaller" "in this weather who doesn't?" KITTY PLZZZ

anonymous asked:

I can't decide whether I love or hate Kavid - I have a very Specific idea in mind for his voice, though I admittedly can't figure out where I'm pulling it from. He is an Excellent character though. Lovely chapter as always :D

anonymous asked:

Before, I was entertained by Kavid. Now I love him.

anonymous asked:

Kitty, Kraven and Kavid have similar speech patterns on purpose, right??? Right?????

i was honestly imagining some kind of nonsense faux-european what-country-is-this-even-from hollywood accent but imagining that he has sounded extremely russian this whole time is extremely funny

@rose-and-bones asked:

SHE HAS A TYPE aghfgstjs

minnow having a thing for obnoxiously pretty men who think they're great aka self-recognition through the other (horny)

@speakingintothevoid asked:

“You are,” Leonas said, “an egotistical, self-important fop.” “Ye-e-es,” Kavid said without shame. “She has a type, does Starlight.” I! LOVE!! IT!!! Makes me almost think of Violet and Karzarul - our point of view character being faced with a version of themselves who are more comfortable in their own skin and our boys not knowing why that annoys them

@keleviel asked:

I rescind my earlier mild disdain, Kavid is great. Is he actually The Greatest Of Bards, or is that just more showmanship?

he rocks about as hard as you can rock on a lyre, which is probably harder than you'd think (especially if you brought a lot of drummers) (which he does)

anonymous asked:

Jakshahshsh every time a new astielle chapter comes out i read it at least twice. Kavid i love you. Leonas i love you also you fucked up lil man. And karzarul the seat. And minnow the mischievous. and just. poor nari. existing in the same world as minnow and her all-powerful boyfriends and also kavid. nari needs a raise

she really does

anonymous asked:

Bruce in Office Meeting and Leonas grabbing the wine when Kavid starts talking about Imperials solidarity.

anonymous asked:

"You would like to compare notes?""Always." Brilliant. Leonas to a t. Loving this interlude with kavid. Snuggly tipsy leonas is a treat. kavids talk of how the weather makes all of us smaller had me cackling. Also this batshit imperial conspiracy is gr8

anonymous asked:

I am suddenly much less comfortable about Leonas performing medical experiments on Minnow, though no fault of his own. :(

@mooseman13579 asked:

Leonas finding out about the weird sun empire truther stuff: haha I'm in danger

the real unanswered question is how much of this is news and how much of it is stuff he already knew and assumed was normal

@thegayknee asked:

Holy shit this is it, isnt it. This is how they fix karzarul's reputation and expose Leland. With the power of Kavid

anonymous asked:

Karzarul's Questlog: "Work on our Image" updated, The Tale of Hollow Monsters delivered to bard.

anonymous asked:

just how many of her lovers is minnow going to recruit into her questing party

she should probably be swapping people out to keep their levels consistent but instead she just keeps karzarul and leonas as her companions for every single quest

@flying-butter asked:

"Details! I need details!" "The king sucks." This is every conversation with any of the trio. Minnow likely knows how to complete half of Ari's quests and Leonas the other half, but no one talks about anything without prompting.

minnow just assumes that everyone knows what she knows because she can't possibly be the brains of the operation and meanwhile karzarul and leonas are both busy having shame

anonymous asked:

i was so excited for the lore drop but the moment Leonas sat in Karzarul's lap my brain just shut off

@themaidenisdeath asked:

oh yes, as we all know, "all business" and "taciturn" are the first words that come to mind when we think of Minnow. It reminded me of when she met Karzarul and he told her she was particularly chatty for hero. Sorry Kavid, you're just neither a Sweet, Considerate Monster with a Dick of Steel And Tentacles To Match™ nor a Twink Prince With Silky Hair, Dom Tendencies And Weird Dietary Beliefs™

@halfdeadfriedrice asked:

"what Hero business?" / "I'm the Hero. All my business is Hero business." You tell em Minnow! And then it turns out to be Quest relevant after all; all business is Hero business Also kavid's last night's makeup and messy convertible couch covered in laundry with half-empty wine bottles on the floor is THEE most visually resonant, I feel like I am visiting a college friend

leonas got very lucky that there weren't any cigarette butts floating in that wine because in his mood he might have just drank it anyway

#original #astielleblogging #writeblogging #astielle spoilers

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asexualone · 3 years

Text

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

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localcactushugger · 3 years

Text

Honestly the thing that really pisses me off, the thing that really hurts the most, about the Hawks vs. Twice conflict is the fact that they had so much potential.

I know on my blog I post mostly about Hawks and bnha leaks, but Twice was by far my favorite Villian and I loved seeing him every time he showed up. I love and understand both Hawks and Twice.

And Horikoshi fucking robbed us.

He robbed us of potentially the most hilarious and pure bromance in all of Bnha history.

All because of the fucking plot.

Think of the beautiful dynamic these two already had! They were only together for what? 2, maybe 3 months at most? And during that time they both learned to sympathize with each other. They even laughed at each other's jokes!!

They actually cared about each other even though their goals and morals didn't exactly aligne.

Both of them saw each other as "good/ kind hearted people" who were deserving of sympathy:

"You're a swell guy!" "Right back at ya."

"You're a good person."

"Anyone who wants to help their friends can't be all that bad." "I know you're good natured." "Let's fly free together!"

"I empathize with their cause." "I wanna fly free"

LOOK AT THEM JOKING AND LAUGHING TOGETHER!!!

LOOK AT THE FINGER GUNS!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WE WERE ROBBED OF THIS:

I'm still so fucking salty about it. It's genuinely upsetting to me.

What's sad is that both of them genuinely cared and wanted to help each other. They just couldn't because their goals were so different.

Twice wanted to help his friends and "protect their happiness" more than anything, and that's why he was fine with helping them destroy/take over Japan. Because nothing matters more than the league's happiness. He'd burn down the world and "sell his soul" to make the Leauge happy! They were his friends. His family. They were his everything!

And Hawks' goal revolved around keeping the people of Japan safe. It revolved around making sure the Leauge didn't hurt anyone because "If you had just captured the Leauge when you had the chance . . ! Think of how many citizens might be alive today!" It revolved around making sure that "everyone would be able to laugh by the time the next cherry blossoms fall."

Both of them were kind hearted genuinely good people. The only difference is that they fought to protect different things.

But that doesn't mean they didn't care about each other or didn't reach out. Both of them reached out!

Twice reaching out: "I know we're being monitored right now, but I wish they'd stop spying on you! I get how you feel."

Hawks reaching out: "You've been unlucky, but you can make a fresh start once you pay for your crimes. I'll even help you start over! Because you're a good person."

Twice didn't know why a hero would sympathize with the liberation army. But a person who wanted to help his friends couldn't be that bad right?

Hawks knew how powerful Twice was and all the horrible things the Liberation army was planning for Japan. But Twice was good natured and kind right?

Both of them made efforts to understand each other. But neither of them could let go of their goals or the things they wanted to protect.

Twice remained loyal to the Leauge. To protect his friends happiness.

Hawks remained loyal to his mission. To protect the people of Japan.

Both characters were sympathetic towards each other, but at the same time they were both fiercely determined to do what they thought was right in the moment. It makes perfect sense story and character wise . . .

BUT THINK OF THE BROMANCE WE LOST!!

I'm still so upset about it!! I was so happy when Twice and Hawks started to warm up to each other, even though I knew it wouldn't turn out well.

Can you imagine these two doing finger guns? Laughing at each other's jokes?? Eating Yakitori together and making up secret handshakes???

They had such a pure, funny, bittersweet dynamic that pulled at my heart strings and made me laugh at the same time.

Honestly I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to rant about the two of them for a bit because I love them both. And I just know if they weren't on the opposite sides of a war they would've been the bestest bros in the world.

Y'all can have whatever opinions you want about Hawks and Twice. But this is a post meant to appreciate their short-lived friendship and amazing dynamic. It's meant to appreciate and show love for both of their characters.

So please keep any bitter comments away from this post. I know everyone has different opinions about these two, but I've heard the debates a million times. Any disrespectful or mean notes will be deleted swiftly.

Just keep the vibes of this post nice okay? Why can we never have nice things in this fandom?

The whole Hero stan vs. Villain stan thing honestly ruins it for me, and I've quickly learned that It destroys all room for understanding and only creates division.

So whatever 12 yr old created the toxic Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic in this fandom, I hope you step on a Lego. Because I'm sure that dynamic has ruined a lot of characters for some people.

If you're someone who can't like a character just because they're a "villain" or a "hero", I'm genuinely sorry for you and I hope you know it's not your fault. This fandom likes to make the whole Hero vs. Villain thing a competition sometimes, and all the extremely biased metas don't always leave room for debate. Sometimes it can even make you feel like you have to pick a side. And it can make it hard for people to enjoy some character's as well.

People will try to demonize Twice.

People will try to demonize Hawks.

Obviously you can love whatever characters you want regardless of their roles in the story, but It's sad how that kind of division in a fandom leaves little room for understanding. And it's sad how quickly a fandom can ruin a character for some people as well. (I've had characters almost be ruined for me too. It sucks.)

Obviously, as a human being I also have my opinions, biases, and favorite characters. And having those isn't a bad thing! Just so long as you're respectful about it. And I'm saying this as someone who has, admittedly, partaken in the Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic once or twice myself. Even though I personally think that dynamic is dumb. I've also had moments where I've lost patience over "bad takes" I didn't like as well. I'm not perfect. No one is, and you can disagree with me all you like if you want. It's chill dude. 👌👌👌

But I would like to keep this post conflict free. In my opinion, Twice and Hawks are both genuinely good people. This is not something I will ever budge on. And i want to enjoy both of their beautiful characters just this once. I love and understand them both your honor. ✋😔

#seriously. good vibes only #be nice to each other in the comments (or notes? whatever. you get it)#anyways i love Hawks and Twice #i have no doubt they would send each other shitposts at 3am with no context #the two of them would have competition's to see who could fit the most food in their mouth #they would be the most destructively playful dynamic duo #think of the shenanigans!#Horikoshi didn't put them together because they were too powerful #he's a coward 😤#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #hawks #bnha spoilers #keigo takami #takami keigo #bnha hawks #mha hawks #twice bnha #bnha twice #bubaigawara jin #jin bubaigawara #mha spoiler #bnha meta #hawks meta #I'm debating putting this is the Twice tag #whatever I'm putting it #mha twice #the point of the post is i wish they could've stayed friends. This was in my drafts and I'm posting it before I loose courage

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illuminatedquill · 3 years

Text

Nevertheless, Episode 9

More Thoughts/Analysis

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”

- E.A. Bucchianeri

Jae Eon’s Self Sabotage

Chekov’s Gun is the dramatic principle that details within a story will contribute to the overall narrative. You might have heard of this before in its simplest form: if there is a gun shown in Act 1, it absolutely must go off in Act 2 or 3. In episode 9 of Nevertheless, we have this scene right at the beginning:

Yes, that scene. Park Jae Eon sees Yang Do Hyeok standing off to the side as he waits outside Na Bi’s apartment to retrieve his stuff. Na Bi doesn’t know Do Hyeok is nearby. Jae Eon makes the calculation in his head and manipulates his way inside Na Bi’s apartment, knowing exactly what it looks like to Do Hyeok. It’s petty revenge for seeing Na Bi and Do Hyeok together on campus from earlier.

This is the gun. And it backfires on Jae Eon big time. Throughout the entire episode, his acts of sincerity towards Na Bi seem genuine and heartfelt, yet his action in that one scene undermines anything he attempts. It doesn’t work; to his mounting frustration, Na Bi and Do Hyeok continue to talk and meet as if nothing happened.

(We know that’s not the case as seen from Do Hyeok’s alone time but I’ll talk about that later in this post.)

It’s a ticking time bomb and it goes off at last in the rain scene. Nothing is working for him. He is desperate not to lose Na Bi. And he goes off in a drunken rage on Na Bi after she returns home on that fateful rainy night.

And he loses her. The gun goes off. Everything sincere he did turns rotten in Na Bi’s eyes after he reveals his actions. Actions have consequences, always rippling forward and affecting change in moments not yet experienced. He ruined his chances because of his petty cruelty towards Do Hyeok in the beginning. His sincerity only extended towards Na Bi and it was only to get her attention once more.

Jae Eon lost. Not so much to Do Hyeok, as he lost to Na Bi, who cares about him deeply. He underestimated her feelings towards Do Hyeok, assuming, like so many other viewers, that he was an an irritating distraction that refused to go away.

He can’t fathom why Do Hyeok still seems to like Na Bi after seeing them enter her apartment together. Is he really that incredible a person? What makes him so special?

Well, let’s talk about it.

Do Hyeok’s Crisis Playbook

We see from Do Hyeok’s time alone after his initial visit to Seoul that he is taking it pretty hard; I can’t really blame him, considering what he saw that night. His struggle is open, honest, and raw; like Na Bi, it affects him to the point that he can’t focus on his work (anyone seem to notice that Jae Eon’s work never seems to be affected by his feelings?).

It’s jealousy and insecurity eating away at him. Just like Jae Eon. He’s also desperate not to lose Na Bi but doesn’t want to do anything untoward or overboard because he’s afraid of ruining their friendship. Once again, his consideration is for Na Bi and how she feels, but he cannot ignore what he saw and how he feels about it.

So, what is our favorite Potato Boy to do? Park Jae Eon already made his move by staging that whole scene of him and Na Bi going into her apartment together. How does Do Hyeok fight back? What’s his playbook in this time of crisis?

He doesn’t fight back. And that’s how he stays in the game. Do Hyeok is not a player like Jae Eon; there isn’t a manipulative or deceptive bone in his body. Do Hyeok does what he always does and doubles down on his sincerity, on the strength of his feelings, and his faith in Na Bi.

Do Hyeok doesn’t play the game Jae Eon tries to involve him in. He always lays it all out on the table with Na Bi so there is no room for misunderstandings. That’s one of the reasons why their relationship works so well; they talk more. Not just about feelings or romance but about school or their day to day life. What they’re building now is something that can last a lifetime.

So he talks to her about it. And admits his jealousy. She wasn’t even aware that he had seen them and yet it sounds like he’s the one who is apologizing (even though he never let his hurt feelings show in his conversations with Na Bi, DO HYEOK YOU ARE TOO GOOD). He lays himself bare to her once more. We don’t see Na Bi’s response other than her shocked and guilty expression, which is annoying because it would definitely be interesting to see how she reciprocated his frankness.

(Underrated super cute scene between them in this episode; when they meet up at night and bring drinks for each other. It’s even the exact same drink. I was grinning like a maniac.)

But Na Bi is familiar with Jae Eon’s game. And when she finds out how badly Do Hyeok was hurt by Jae Eon’s actions (and how he involved her in it) Na Bi finally is snapped to her senses and severs the thread still binding her and Jae Eon together.

Na Bi’s choice isn’t shown as a redemptive or heroic moment. It never was supposed to be. Although I’m sure a lot of us were cheering in that moment, her moments of unrestrained grief alone afterwards are the sobering reality that love, as always, comes with a price.

Nabi’s Choice (The Review)

This is a follow up to my earlier post before episode 9 came out. So, now we see what Na Bi decides and, maybe, how it will all play out in the next episode (barring any last minute twists).

First, let’s address the still ongoing criticism I see regarding Na Bi and Do Hyeok’s relationship: lack of passion, no romantic vibes, blah blah blah. I wrote at length in a previous post why that isn’t true - at least on Do Hyeok’s part (one of the reasons why we don’t get internal monologue from Do Hyeok is because what else is he thinking about other than Na Bi?).

Na Bi, on the other hand, is still ambivalent about her feelings towards Do Hyeok. Episode 9 provided more clarity for her stance towards Jae Eon - he’s the dog shit she stepped on and was promptly wiped away in the grass - but Do Hyeok is still a mystery. Yes, she’s friendly, she cares, and genuinely enjoys being with him but the spice, the passion is missing. And that is kinda important for a romantic relationship.

Well. Look no more. Na Bi has spice for Do a Hyeok and it shows not once, but twice this episode. Where’s the passion? Jae Eon fucked around and found out. Very kind of him. Turns out Na Bi, like all of us who like Do Hyeok, will not tolerate any Do Hyeok slander and I am 100 PERCENT here for it.

There’s a scene shortly before the climatic rain fight where Na Bi is having another meeting with her assistants: the junior (does he have a name? Jin-su?) and Jae Eon. The junior talks to Na Bi about her and Park Jae Eon: the usual tired gossip of whether or not they’re dating. Na Bi waves it away like dandelion fluff.

And then the junior mentions Do Hyeok. “What about the noodle shop guy? Ever since the camp meeting, people have been saying there’s a higher chance you’re dating him.”

And Na Bi just . . . we’ve never seen this from her before, even when she broke up with Jae Eon in episode 5. Her whole demeanor turns ice cold and her voice is wicked sharp as she proceeds to shut down that avenue of questioning. The junior physically leans back from the force of her anger and wonders aloud why she’s so upset (you’re talking about her love life as gossip, idiot, why do you think she’s so upset). Jae Eon walks in and doesn’t see the foreshadowing; he just hears Do Hyeok and it feeds his jealousy.

There it is, everybody. Evidence of Na Bi’s feelings for Do Hyeok and what he means to her. Her protectiveness over him and her refusal to let him be involved in the drama surrounding herself and Jae Eon. Her desire to be the better around him; not because he asks (and he would never) but because his feelings for her make her think she might be worthy of such a love.

And then there’s the rain scene. Na Bi and Jae Eon, vulnerable in the rain. Na Bi admits to her faults in the relationship, how she brought this upon herself. No, she hasn’t been nice or good this whole time; in fact, she’s been kind of terrible. But Jae Eon revealing what he did and how it was to hurt Do Hyeok wakes her up and convinces that the time has come to end this “game”. It got Do Hyeok hurt because of her inability to end it with Jae Eon and good people don’t let that happen to people they care about.

So Na Bi ends it with Jae Eon and chooses herself. At last. And to do so, she has to cut out this malignant tumor of a relationship and, God, does it hurt so much to end it, but she gets it done and takes the first step to being a better person for herself.

The cinematography in this drama is top tier and we see her situation presented so viscerally. She’s alone, in the light, but it’s not a warm, redemptive light; it has a sickly, yellow tint and is surrounded by darkness.

But she’s still there. She still made it.

One Last Observation, I Promise

Last thing I noticed from this episode that I want to talk about: the professor’s critique of Na Bi. She specifically mentions that a good artist can inspire others and Na Bi, whether she realizes it or not, actually does do that.

Na Bi helps Do Hyeok with his videos, giving advice that helps boost their popularity and making them better.

Jae Eon is inspired to make the butterfly bracelet for Na Bi and gifts it to her.

The difference between the two? Do Hyeok actually thanks Na Bi for her help and points out that it was her influence that made his videos better.

Jae Eon obviously means his gesture to be romantic and sincere but he again fails to talk about why he’s doing it. The implication is there but Na Bi needs more than some vague nonsense.

Communication is at the heart of this episode and how, without it, relationships stagnate and fail. Bit Na + Gyu Hyun and Soljiwan couple - their relationships only progress because the couples voice their concerns and fears to one another. And instead of being rejected or being hurt, it allows their partners to reassure them and move forward with their relationship.

Why do Na Bi and Jae Eon fail? They. Don’t. Talk. Na Bi is stuck inside her head and Jae Eon relies on vague gestures and sexual chemistry to express himself.

Why do Na Bi and Do Hyeok succeed? Because they talk. About everything. Their dialogue is clear and honest and sincere without any hidden meanings or motives. And you see why Na Bi is rapidly moving more and more towards Do Hyeok and not Jae Eon.

(The preview does raise some questions about how it will all end but I don’t think the show is going to pull a bait and switch and have Na Bi end up with Jae Eon. I also don’t think it’s likely they’ll have an open ending, either. I’ll talk about that in another post.)

My next post will be what I envision to be the best version of a Na Bi and Do Hyeok endgame and what I mean by that since Na Bi shouldn’t be dating anyone right now. So, look forward to that.

Until next time, everybody. Thanks for reading this long ass post. Hope you enjoyed it.

#jtbc nevertheless #nevertheless #kdrama #han so hee #chae jong hyeop #song kang #yu na bi #yang do hyeok #park jae eon

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spicynamericano · 3 years

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Perception. - mk lee

sypnosis: you meet a stranger in the park, who helps you prepare for your interview with renowned author, mark lee.

word count: 2.1k

genre: fluff, strangers to friends!au, author!mark x reporter!reader

a/n: i impulsively wrote this in the wee hours of the morning because i can't stop thinking about mark lee and his poems! btw, this is my first time posting an au on this platform, but i do have ongoing twitter fics (written in eng/fil)!

I had just finished my late night shift at the office and was on my way home from work. Being a field reporter is not an easy job. I have to work my butt off to always stay up to date on the latest news and make sure to grab even the rarest exclusives.

I have to travel to basically anywhere, just to gather the most accurate information for the daily primetime news. And even if work is done for the day, I would usually go overtime to make sure no single detail is left out for tomorrow’s reports.

My workplace isn’t that far from home, or what I call home now. Moving into my elder sister’s old apartment was not a hassle. It was actually quite a blessing since I always used to stay over whenever we visited the city. I really thank the heavens that her place was near my workplace. Imagine the struggle of moving in and out from scratch. Actually, I wouldn’t even dare to imagine.

I would usually ride my bike to and from the office, but since I was running a bit late earlier in the morning, I decided to take the bus. Convenience at its finest. But it’s late now. A fifteen minute walk back home won’t hurt, right? Besides, I needed a breather. A walk in the nearby park would suffice.

It’s midnight and of course, the park is empty. Although Seoul is alive 24/7, I really like how some areas still have that laid-back vibe. I walk to the swings and place my bag on the ground. I do wish someone would push me right now. I just wanna be free from all the hectic stuff I’ve been doing lately.

But no, the quick rest I thought of didn’t stop me from going over tomorrow’s duties. I scan my little, brown notepad and check the work I have yet to accomplish. I mostly finished them before I got off work, but there is one more that I needed to do for tomorrow: interview Mr. Mark Lee, the author of the best-selling Late Night Scribbles.

It’s a collection of poems and prose he’s written over the course of five years during his travels to different cities as a renowned travel writer. His travel reviews and recommendations were something I always looked forward to reading. Maybe someday I could go on a stress-free holiday trip thanks to his advice.

I have read his book. For someone who’s trained into more technical writing like me, I could still clearly resonate with most of the poems he’s written. Not too shallow, not too deep. Though you do need to have a sense of literature in order to understand more of his deeper works. He isn’t famous for nothing.

What appalled me though is that he never showed his face to anyone, not even once. Some say he’s actually the main rapper of the world-renowned boy group NCT, since they bear the same name. I think otherwise. Well, it could be, though. Rappers do make their own lines and tell their own stories.

But I don’t think that Mark Lee would be the same person I’d be interviewing tomorrow. It’s weird because I won’t be actually meeting him face to face. He said he’d rather converse through email. Works for me since I don’t have to travel tomorrow. Thank God.

Well, let me tell you a secret. The reason I don’t think author Mark Lee is singer Mark Lee is because singer Mark Lee is actually my childhood best friend. Crazy, huh? I used to live in Vancouver when I was young until my family and I moved back to Korea during my teen years.

I don’t think he remembers me, though. But I do remember him. Our moms were practically best friends. I couldn’t say the same to us, only if he still actually remembers me.

I stretch my arms up high and bend it side to side. God, I need a massage asap. I was about to pick up my bag when a basketball rolled over and hit the tip of my loafers. A man dressed in black waves from the court, signaling to toss the ball to his direction.

I would toss it if I could but I walk over instead. Blame my poor strength and reflexes. And I obviously do not want to embarrass myself. A rough day’s a rough day. I don’t want an addition.

“Uhm, are you looking for this?” I ask the guy, tossing the ball mid-air.

“Yes, thank you…” he pauses. “uh…”

“Oh, it’s (y/n).” I introduced myself, “And you are?”

“Minhyung.”

“Well, you’re welcome, Minhyung. Good luck with your basketball practice!” I gave him a nod before finally turning back to go home.

“Wait!” he calls out. “Do you maybe wanna have a cup of coffee? There’s a nearby convenience store still open. I figured you might need it.”

Was it that obvious? I can’t imagine how stressed I look right now! He has probably seen the dark circles under my eyes. Gross.

I finally turn around and give him a smile, “You know, maybe I do need it. Let’s go?”

This man and I walk to the nearby convenience store just a few meters away from the court. It’s midnight and not many people are here. Well, just exactly like how I want it. The park can actually become full, even until 10 pm. But I guess these people also need some shut-eye. I’m actually surprised this man right here still has some energy left.

I wait outside and sit at the nearest gazebo while he buys instant coffee for the both of us. He arrives with three in hand. Does he like coffee that much?

“You’re really gonna drink two?” I ask him curiously.

“It’s actually for you,” he says as he hands me one of the cups. “I feel like you’re going to be staying up late tonight.”

Well, he’s right. I am gonna be staying up late. I still need to prepare questions for tomorrow’s, or later, rather, interview. I really won’t be getting some sleep tonight. I also need to do research on him too.

“Well, I do have an interview for tomorrow. I still need to prepare as it’s a very important one.”

“With whom, may I ask?”

“Mark Lee, the author. Not the singer.”

“Oh,” he lets out a soft sigh that can be heard, even through his mask. Is he offended that I don’t think author Mark Lee and singer Mark Lee are the same?

“Why do you sound so disappointed?”

“Uh, nothing. I just remembered the book he recently released. Have you read it?”

“Late Night Scribbles?”

“Yes, that!” he answered enthusiastically. Wow, I guess I found a fan right here. He might actually help me with my interview later. I need to grab this chance.

“Do you mind helping me? I’m actually going to interview him about it tomorrow.” I gave him the widest smile, hoping he’d say yes. I normally wouldn’t do this to strangers, especially at night. But I really just need to get this over with.

“Well, as someone who’s a fan of his works. I’d like to give it a try and interpret it,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Just imagine I’m Mark Lee. Shoot your questions.”

“Hmm, I can’t be answering personal questions since you’re not Mark Lee.” I scratch my head. Damn, I can’t think of anything. My brain is not working right now! “But if you were Mark Lee, what would you want to be asked?”

“If I were Mark Lee? Well, rather than asking what my inspiration was behind the works I’ve made, I’d rather be asked on how I tried to convey my thoughts and feelings to this piece of work,” he explained, staring at the night sky.

I followed the direction of his gaze, and he’s looking at Orion, one of the brightest constellations out there. I gaze at it too while waiting for him to continue explaining.

“But isn’t it basically the same as drawing inspiration from something?” I ask profoundly.

“Not really. You can draw inspiration from anything. And you can come up with different outputs based on one inspiration. What’s important is how you’re able to connect the context of what you’re writing to the feelings you want to draw out,” he continues.

“With a single inspiration, I can come up with two completely different works based on how it’s written. The idea may be the same but the context is not.”

“Hmm, care to explain a little further?” I ask politely.

“We can use Black Socks as an example.”

Black socks are underrated

The way they connect the bottom sleeves of

my black sweatpants to my black sneakers

is just perfect

Pleasure from perfect alignment

That also goes for the ability to be parallel

with my thoughts and actions

I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep

it consistent even when forgotten like a

working habit

A moment to think twice about what

seemed unimportant

Black socks have been making my day

these days and I knew I had to return the

favor by acknowledging them

I throw you in the bin only so that you can

be renewed again

“Black socks, literally an ordinary object that is tossed to the bin right after use. But what caught my eye is his appreciation for this mundane thing.”

“Through his words, you can tell black socks gave him comfort. He used a simple subject to convey his inner thoughts of how every little thing we don’t really recognize can actually be part of our routine, our life,” he said, looking me in the eye seriously.

“He found comfort in the most ordinary things no ordinary person would take notice of.”

Minhyung stands up and stretches his arms. He then continues, “It’s actually cool he shared this piece with us. If I were him, I’d go on and ramble how black socks could ruin my laundry.”

We both chuckle at the thought. It’s true. I hate how some of my black socks actually ruin my laundry. I dread the thought.

“It’s only a matter of perception, (y/n). Sometimes, you have to open your eyes and see, not look. Listen, not hear. Savor, not taste. Feel, not touch.”

“You know, you could actually be Mark Lee himself,” I tease him, “You do know your literature.”

I know he smiled at my remark. I can see his cheekbones rise from the edges of his mask.

“Sometimes, you just have to ask the right questions in order to get the answers you want,” he said teasingly. “You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.”

For a stranger, he’s indeed a good talker. I actually learned so much from our talk tonight.

“Thanks for tonight, Minhyung. I really learned a lot.” I thank him before gulping down the last cup of coffee he bought me. “And thanks for the coffee, by the way! I now have energy to prepare for my interview later.”

“No problem. I’m just glad that I was able to help.”

I stood up from my seat and we both started walking away from the park.

“It’s 1 am. How are you gonna get home, (y/n)?” Minhyung asks worriedly. Yeah, it is pretty late. It’s a good thing I just live near.

“My apartment’s just two blocks away. I can manage,” I say with a smile, a genuine one at that. “How about you?”

“I’ll just grab a cab. Do you mind if I walk you home?” I don’t know why but I felt flustered for a moment. Surprisingly though, I just nodded my head, giving him permission to accompany me home.

We both arrive at the entrance of my apartment building and we say our last goodbyes.

“For a stranger, you really do know how to make people comfy,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a stare, brows furrowed to tease him.

“Well, that’s just how I am,” he says while giving me a wink. Okay, now he’s flirting. Someone stop him, please. Just kidding.

“By the way, you haven’t taken your mask off the entire time except when drinking coffee. I couldn’t get a good glimpse at you since it was dark,” I explain. It’s true. Add the fact that I’m barely keeping myself awake the whole time. “I might’ve actually thought you’re an idol of some sort. Perhaps, maybe you are Mark Lee.”

“What?” he asks, puzzled and clearly taken aback. “Why’d you think so?”

“Because you share the same name with him.”

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ghostbustermelanieking · 3 years

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some thoughts on mag 200

i’ve been having trouble articulating this, but i wanted to get some thoughts down on mag 200, and the ending of tma as a whole, now that i’ve heard the finale twice and had some time to process it all. putting this under a cut in case people don’t wanna see it -- there’s gonna be a lot of praise here, but also some legit criticism. this is a way to sort through my feelings more than anything else.

first off, relistening to the finale, and sitting on it for a while, has made me feel a hell of a lot better about the whole thing. the episode comes off a lot better when you’re not vibrating with fear and anticipation, in my opinion. the final statement was very fitting and cool -- not my favorite ever, but i can appreciate it a lot as a final closing for the fears. and i don’t have an ear for soundscaping but the sound in that statement was cool as hell. the jonah magnus gets fucking murdered scene is incredibly satisfying. a lot of other people have said this, but i love that jon finally got his revenge, and was able to lash out against jonah for all the years of manipulation and beng used, and for tim and sasha and everything else. that was perfect. i genuinely thought we might not get a scene like this after 193 but i am so glad we did. incredibly satisfying. the girls made it out!! i am very glad that they’re ok and moving on and seem to be leaning on each other. (By God I Will Wring Found Family Out Of This Podcast If It Kills Me.) and the admiral’s okay. love that

and the jonmartin ending. oh my god. while i was never the biggest fan of the possibility of martin having to kill jon, the way it went down was so painful and good. i loved that final scene. i love the ambiguity -- that they might have died but maybe they didn’t, maybe they’re all right and happy and we can decide for ourselves -- i love that i got exactly what i wanted, that i get to have my cake and eat it too, all the angst of a jmart death and still the possibility of happiness... i am going buckwild. i love it. the longer i spend with this ending, the happier i am with it. i really really loved it

on another note... i do have some reservations about the finale and the season as a whole. i understand peoples’ irritations with the finale, and while i’m trying to focus on the things i did like, i definitely have some irritations. for one, i definitely wish the finale had been longer. i would’ve loved to see more of what wtgfs and basira were doing, and the actual lighting of the archives, etc. and while i completely understand why the scene at the panopticon went as quickly as it did -- it comes off very much as wild, frantic impulse in the heat of the moment where they’re in danger and trying to protect each other -- i do wish it had gone a little slower.

in my mind, the biggest issue in season 5 ended up being pacing. and this might be a personal preference thing -- there’s a lot of things within the show that i don’t personally vibe with, but i don’t necessarily think they’re badly written. but i do think season 5 was slow. and while slow things can certainly work in a certain context (season 4 comes off wildly slow til you listen to 160), i wish more of what actually happened in season 5 had been baked into the end game. the season felt like it had a lot of filler, which drives me mildly crazy, because the end game feels rushed and i don’t think it NEEDED to be. i liked a lot of what season 5 did -- there’s some impeccable episodes, the character interactions are weirdly lighter and softer than they have been in previous seasons, and i wouldn’t trade a lot of the things that it’s given us (all the jonmartin interactions, jon and georgie briefly rebuilding their friendship, martin and melanie friendship, wtgfs scenes and intimacy, backstory, lore, etc) for anything. but i do think it could’ve been structured and paced a little differently. i also think it could’ve given some more screentime to the character stuff we got from episodes like 161, 170, 186, 190, 191, 192, 199... i absolutely love both martin centric monologue episodes, but i hate that we didn’t get anything like that for jon. (or for melanie or georgie or basira...) the best episodes of the season, imo, are the ones that broke from traditional form of domain statement domain, and the ones that focused in hard on backstory, lore, character introspection, character interaction... i wish we had more of this.

when it comes to the jonmartin arc... i know this has been a point of contention with a lot of people, but i don’t hate it at all. maybe it’s just because i relistened to the majority of the season back in january, but a lot of the more grating moments that seemed large week to week (martin pressuring jon to smite people, the disagreements they had earlier in the season, jon using martin as bait in 176, etc etc) come off a lot more minor when you’re binging. personally, relistening to act i made those interactions come off as things they were struggling with through continued support and reassurance. there were absolutely things i wanted addressed, especially with the “kill bill arc” -- the disagreements early in the season, and how it seemed to turn on its head in the argument they have in 194. (i didn’t like martin blaming jon for the kill bill arc and i was hoping it would get brought up.) i also wanted to see a discussion of martin going with annabelle in 194 -- i wasn’t really ever mad at martin for doing it, but i did want to see them talk it out.

but! after relistening to 200, i think i have a better handle on why that couldn’t have happened. martin goes behind jon’s back to go with annabelle and they don’t talk about it; jon goes behind martin’s back to sabotage the plan everyone agrees on in order to prevent the fears from spreading. if they’d had a big talk about trust, and working through martin going off with annabelle, and then jon turned around and did the same thing, more or less... it would’ve completely soured that discussion. jon and martin needed to be in a place of discourse for this ending to work.

honestly, the more i’ve thought about this final JM arc, the better i feel about it. sure, jon and martin are in a bad place, and they’ve gone behind each other’s backs and been somewhat selfish, but i don’t think this ruins their relationship. for one, martin’s break in trust comes from a place of wanting to save jon and the world. and for another, jon genuinely feels he is doing the right thing, making a decision he can live with. (i have my own opinions as to how ethical jon’s decision was, but that’s another post. and i think the muddy ethics of this ending are on purpose -- it’s horror, a genre that often doesn’t offer ethical decisions.) their final decisions and final moments come from a place of love and protectiveness, and they change their decisions for the other. they still love each other, through all of it. i don’t think these late stage betrayals equivalate jonmartin necessarily being doomed as a couple (not that anyone has said that, but it’s worth saying). and i think it’s important to remember that this is still a relatively new relationship. it existed for approximately three weeks before the literal apocalypse, and it’s been under an immense amount of stress, as well as the constant fear that one or both of them would die. (which they did.) i’m not saying that excuses certain things they’ve said or done, but i am saying i don’t think the relationship is doomed. i think, if jon and martin have survived, they’ll need to work through things. they’ll need to talk it all out. and they’ll be able to! they’ll heal from this one way or another. the tragedy isn’t that jonmartin is doomed, or toxic. it’s that these moments of betrayal are what dooms them. and the beautiful undercurrent of it all is that they still manage to come together, and make decisions that mean they stay together. and that wherever they are, they’re still together.

all in all, i don’t think season 5 has been perfect, and i can make my peace with that. (tma’s worst is a hell of a lot better than most shows’ best.) (i also think it might be worth considering how covid could have affected certain aspects of how the season was written -- pandemics are stressful, and i can’t imagine what it’s like to finish an enormous, in the works for years project like this in the middle of that. personally, i’m impressed they’ve managed to finish the show through all of this and keep it to a similar quality.) i think critiques are valuable and worth discussing. and i think plot aspects aside, there are several other critique related things that could be brought up about this season that people have articulated much better than i ever could. but i also, personally, want to walk away from the show feeling satisfied. i tend to be weirdly positive about things i love (the x files finale was horrendous, but i managed to get to a place where i was happy with it, for example), and i think that applies here -- even more so because i really did love so many aspects of that finale. i don’t necessarily want to linger in my own mind over what i disliked, especially considering the show is over. although i did want to air out my thoughts.

i still love this show. i loved a lot of episodes this season, frustrations aside. season 5 will forever be my only live tma experience, and it got me through one of the worst years of my life, and i am very grateful for this. i genuinely did just want to air out my thoughts and get them all down on paper. these are just my opinions -- i don’t want to criticize anyone who feels differently about the finale, or the season as a whole. everyone’s opinion is their own.

i feel a lot, lot better about mag 200, to the point of genuinely loving it. i hope my appreciation only grows as i get further from that frenzied first day and have more time to sit with it. and i can’t wait to see all the art and read all of the amazing fics that are going to come out of this ending (and write some of my own). it’s been a wild ride. i’m glad i was here for it.

#tma #the magnus archives #mag 200 #tma spoilers #tma negative #not too strong i dont think but just in case #this might be completely incoherent lol but i wanted to get it down

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corruptedconfessions · 3 years

Text

Sub!(kinda)Bakugo x reader

So...I was sitting vibing and I had a small idea. And it was basically just “Partner gifts sex toy” and then I went “...Bakugo long distance relationship...gift sex toy...use during phone sex” and then went “...sub/switch Bakugo?”

It was meant to be a quick 500 word drabble to get the idea out of my system and it turned into a 2.3k+ fic so uh yeah xD Enjoy~!

This one is pretty gendernetural. He talks about you fucking him but girls pegging tough guys is my favorite thing s o

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Katsuki!” Your cheery voice on the other side of the line lifted the angry hero’s spirits more than he wanted to admit. Even if no one should be happy with how early in the morning it was for you. For him it was later in the night, he had been busy with his post dinner workout when you had texted, asking to call him even though you had just woken up.

“The fuck do you want.”

He grunted softly, tone softening despite the harsh words, betraying his attempts to sound annoyed. He could hear the tinkle of your laughter over the phone, you knew it too. Fucker.

“I got you a present!”

He blinked in confusion, wiping away the sweat that was collected across the back of his neck before tossing the towel away. He cocked his head slightly, musing over it.

“A present?”

It wouldn’t be the first time you had bought him something, sent packages to his door step. Usually they were silly little things. Sweaters or hoodies that you had bought for yourself and gotten an extra of so he could match you even if the two of you were hundreds of miles apart and no one would get it. Little trinkets you liked or thought he would like, spicy foods and snacks from the country you were in that he couldn’t get in Japan.

He admonished you every time for getting him ‘worthless shit’ or ‘wasting money’ but that didn’t stop his chest from warming at the sight of every gift. Or how he had an entire shelf dedicated to the things you bought him. Or the fact that if you sent him selfies wearing clothes he had a match to he would immediately change to match you.

“Yeah! And if the tracking thing is right it should be at your do-or~”

You chirped excitedly in delight, sounding suspiciously enthusiastic about him opening the package. Usually you waited until he texted you that he had gotten it before pestering him to open it while on call or facetime.

“What have I told you about buying me shit without telling me?”

He grunted softly, trying to sound peeved but failing yet again as he immediately got up, making his way to his door. Sure enough as soon as he opened it, there sitting innocently in front of his feet was a small box.

He picked it up, kicking the door shut carelessly behind him as he made his way to his kitchen, grabbing a knife as you eagerly chattered away, encouraging him to open it. Who was he to leave a eager crowd waiting?

He sliced through the tape quickly, harshly yanking the bubble wrap out and tossing it to the side carelessly, too eager to see the gift that awaited him. What he saw had him freezing in place.

“What the fuck?!”

He stared open mouthed at the fleshlight sitting innocently in the box, staring back at him. Faintly he could hear you cackling like a gremlin, clearly trying to muffle and hide it from him.

“What? Don’t you like it?”

He could feel his face steadily turning bright red, an embarrassed flush reaching all the way up to the tips of his ears. Of course you would get him something like this.

“Of course not! What the fuck were you thinking?”

He blushed even harder when his voice came out slightly higher pitched than normal, just enough he was painfully aware of it without it being obvious to you.

“Oh…So you don’t want to use it with me? Hear my voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear as your big thick cock fucks that thing so hard you ruin it?”

Your voice dropped slightly, changing to that tone that had his cock twitching in interest as his shoulders went up to his ears. His face felt like it was going to melt off at this rate. What were you doing to him…

“Give me 10 minutes to finish everything.”

He sighed softly in defeat as you laughed on the other side of the line.

“It’s a date!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

Phone nestled on the pillow next to him, set up with you connected to his bluetooth headphones that were nestled into his ears he was finally finished setting up.

He had spent nearly the entire 10 minutes just getting his face to stop being so beet red, and most of the rest of the time turning off his notifications and pulling the fleshlight out of the box and lubing it and his cock up. He wanted to be ready for the main event before you even called.

Which was how he found himself here, curled up on his side answering your call as he held the fleshlight tight in one fist.

“Are you ready for this?~” Your voice was teasing in his ear, sending shivers down his spine all the way to his toes as he hissed like an angry cat. He clutched the fleshlight tighter, trying to ignore how his dick was already hard against his stomach just from the anticipation of it and sound of your voice.

“Of course I am!”

He scowled, nuzzling his face against his pillow as he slowly pushed his dick against the fleshlight, hissing as he sunk into the tight wet heat, lube was pushed out around his cock, globing around the opening and smearing against his balls. Must have used too much.

“Shit…”

He hissed softly unable to stop the way his hips bucked slightly. It had been so long since he had been balls deep in something, he felt overly sensitive, every squeeze sending jolts through him that had him moaning low in his throat.

“Does it feel good, baby?~”

He rolled his eyes growling softly at your cliché petname, giving a soft grunt as he bucked his hips, tightening his fist around the fleshlight as he slowly started moving it around his cock.

“Barley can even feel anything.”

He lied smoothly, ignoring the way your soft laugh over the phone caused the heat starting to form in his stomach to pulse hard.

“Oh?~ Maybe you should move it faster then~”

He grunted immediately following your suggestion, the lube helping as he started fucking it, gliding it across his dick faster as he grunted. Fuck, it felt good. Not near as good as you did but…Good. He could feel his face heating up as sweat formed around his brow, biting his lip to stifle the pleased noises that bubbled from his throat. He was clearly failing miserably since your voice turned softer, breathier like it always did when he worked you up.

“That’s it, baby~ You’re doing so good, my good boy~”

His cheeks flushed even redder, turning his head to hide his face into his pillows despite the fact you couldn’t see him. His hand kept moving, fast and jerky as he bit back whines and soft moans.

“Of course I am. Shut up.”

Your soft breathy chuckle on the other end of the line send jolts down his spine, leaving him unable to hold back the soft whine that came from him as his hips stuttered forward. Fuck. He wanted you here. The plastic in his hand felt nothing like real skin. It was much too soft, like what people wanted skin to be like. Beside he wanted…

He flushed darker as his hole twitched. Fuck. He wanted you inside him so bad. He had half a mind to just reach out for his bedside drawer. His favorite dildo and bottle of lube was within reach…he could just-

“What are you doing, Katsuki?~ You’ve gotten awfully quiet? You aren’t being a bad boy, are you?”

You’re voice yanked him back to the present, a soft stuttered gasp slipping out before he could stop it. Growling in frustration he pressed his face harder against the pillow, voice muffled as his hand that had slowed picked up the fast pace again. Despite himself he couldn’t stop the way his heart stuttered when you even suggested he was being bad, the anxious flip in his stomach. He liked to mouth off but both of you knew he wanted…needed to be your good boy. Talk was as far as he would go.

“No! It’s your fucking fault for not being here, this plastic doesn’t do shit…”

He grumbled even as soft pants and gasps were clearly heard over the line as he rolled over onto his stomach, pushing his hips in the air as he fisted the fleshlight tighter around his swollen cock.

“I know, I know. Soon, baby.”

He huffed angrily back at you, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. Suddenly he was reminded of how empty the room was, how cold without you there to hold him. Shit, he was getting so weak…so sappy. Aching for your presence, for you.

“I’m going to fuck you so good once I get back, you won’t be able to stand for weeks~ I gotta make up for all the times you came alone, right? I’ll make you cum twice as many.”

It was impossible, he knew it. He came way too many times for the two of you to even begin to catch up in your week long vacation to visit him again. Still, his cock didn’t quite catch that memo, twitching hard and leaving him shuttering, moaning embarrassing loud into the phone.

“You like that, don’t you, baby? So desperate to be stuffed full of my cock~ I’ll fill you up real good~”

He hissed softly his pace picking up, his hips snapping forward into the fleshlight with wet squelches, lube dribbling out around his cock. Fuck…It wasn’t enough! He growled, sweat trickling down his brow as he swiped his fingers through the mess of lube trickling down the side of the toy, coating them in the slick. Vaugely he could hear your praises filling his ears, background noise to the pleasure filling him as he reached back, dipping his fingers between his cheeks, rubbing the lube against his hole.

Part of him wanted to stay here, teasing and lightly fingering himself as your voice rumbled in his ear, telling him how good he was but he didn’t have the patience for it. Not tonight. He pushed three fingers in at once, hissing softly at the burn of the stretch but he didn’t care. Immediately he was poking and rubbing at all the right spots that had him jolting in place, moaning and whining shamelessly loud for you to hear as he kept fucking the fleshlight.

“You suddenly got excited~ Are you fucking yourself, Katsuki? Stuffing your fingers in your hole thinking of me?”

He grunted, whining soft enough he wasn’t sure the phone would even pick it up. He never stopped his pace, the wet sounds of his fingers sliding between his cheeks and his cock fucking the wet flesh clutched in his fist filling the room.

“Shut up…”

His voice was softer, whinier, less harsh than earlier. He couldn’t focus on embarrassment or frustration, too focused on the heat boiling in his belly, his balls pulling up tight.

“Cum for me, Katsuki~”

He would deny it vehemently, as he always did. Insisting he was going to cum anyways, that you just had the right timing and he sure as hell did not come on command. But he couldn’t stop the soft cry of your name, the desperate gasps for air as he spilled into the toy, pumping it full of his cum until it gushed out around his cock, spilling down the sides and collecting on where his hand was wrapped around it.

He planted face first into the bed, collapsing, arms too weak and slow to catch himself as he gasped for air. Slowly he pulled his fingers out of his ass, peeling his tight grip off of the fleshlight and cringing at the mess that coated everything.

The afterglow lasted a few seconds before that sick empty feeling from before crept in. The gasps and pants that filled the room were only his own, not an intermingling of the both of yours. Faintly he could hear the sounds of traffic breaking through the weighted silence that hung over him like a blanket.

After a few moments your voice pierced the silence as well.

“Hey, Katsuki?”

He grunted softly, too exhausted to speak, or move, or do anything but lay there and push back the all too familiar burning in his eyes that came before he cried. He wouldn’t cry. Crying was stupid. It wasn’t as if you were dead…only on the other side of the world away from him.

“I love you.”

His chest tightened, a soft choked noise coming from him. He couldn’t stop the tears from collecting in his eyes now, unwilling to fall but there all the same. He swallowed hard, pushing down the feelings that welled inside of him.

“...Yeah.”

He didn’t say it back. He never did. He didn’t need to, you knew he loved you and you loved him. Always would even with this…Obstacle in the way.

#bakugo x reader #reader insert #bakugou x reader

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munku-collar · 3 years

Note

I would very much appreciate an analysis of the reasoning and song placements for you Macavity playlist whenever you get the opportunity.

- Signed, a big fat music nerd

Putting this guy under a cut cuz it'll be long! I'm just going brief with these but if there's one in particular you want a deeper look at I can def do that. Also I didn't proofread this before posting so i'm sorry for any typos ksjdbgksbdg

Dead Souls- It's a combination of the title and sound for this one. It kind of encapsulates that cool guy vibe that he was born with, that Tugger was born with too. Kind of slow, steady and strong. It covers his general essence, the sort of beat of his heart if you will, and then the lyrics speak to his loneliness as a child and the allure of giving into his worst impulses. He's just lost, looking for support which he unfortunately doesn't find.

How Soon Is Now?- Same idea here. He's left the tribe, he's on his own and every bit of positivity has disappeared. He's hopeless and tired of feeling "other" and not getting what he feels he deserves from those around him so focuses on building an empire instead, exploring crime and taking what he wants, because it won't be given to him. Essentially, he's tired of waiting and tired of trying to make things work at home. "I've already waited too long," if you catch my drift. And "I am human and I need to be loved," is self explanatory: All he wanted was to be accepted for who he was, and that wasn't happening, so he left.

Hungry Like The Wolf- He's hungry. He's hungry for power, for fame, and unbeknownst to him until he lays eyes on Demeter, love. He's ignored that bit for a while now and focused on taking things to fill the void instead, but when he meets her he's just blindsided with this desperation to have her. He's determined, and at this point he is quite a hunter. He knows how to read people, how to break them apart, to get what he wants. She doesn't make it easy. Honestly she makes it a little hard for him to think straight, and always does. He feels like a beast chasing after her, and luckily for him, he catches her.

Candyman- Demeter has fallen for his charms and for the bits of him that are still, whether he admits it or not, Jellicle. She's intrigued by him and has no idea of what she's going to endure by letting herself fall into his arms. And he has no intention of hurting her, never does, but to any bystander it's clear that he's dangerous, and that things won't end well. He can't help his nature, and she can't change it.

Don't Fear The Reaper- Whether he admits it or not, he's a reaper, and she starts to understand that, at least a little, but it doesn't bother her. They come to know each other better, shared their experiences and pain and believe they're a true match. They've been hurt and lonely and turn from strangers to "us against the world," or and naively think that they'll always be together. He hasn't fallen yet, but he will.

The Same Deep Water As You- He is at his core, really a sad figure. He thought Demeter would fill the void, and she does fill some of it, but not all, and in the quiet hours of the night between heists and fights and celebrations of his power, he crumbles in her arms and clings to her. But they're both starting to realize that maybe it's not for the best. Maybe they're not what each other really needs, and he hates that idea. It's her, or nothing, he thinks. He'll be damned if he lets her go.

The Killing Moon- This is really the shift. He's killed others now, and finds more joy in violence than anything, excepting Demeter's company. It's a kind of latent realization on Demeter's part of what she's gotten herself into, and how nothing she could have done would've let her avoid any of this. She's disgusted, and somewhat terrified, but knows that he won't let her go, and she still loves him despite it all. It's a cruel twist of fate. He's determined to keep her, reminiscing on their meeting and how he fell in love with her. Honestly the memory of it is sweeter than being with her now, and it's killing them both.

The Promise- She keeps distancing herself from him, and he keeps trying to get closer. He's given her so many promises, but at this point, they don't matter anymore. It's really upsetting, to see what they've become, and part of him knows it's his fault. He feels guilty for it, but he can't stop doing what he does, because he doesn't know how. Who is he without power, without bending others to heel? A scared, damaged tom, and that's worse than anything. He can't face his own reflection in the mirror, and that's his, and their, downfall.

Monsters- He's angry at her, she's angry at him, though they won't show it to each other. But he's not an idiot. He can see how her soft gazes have turned hard, how she doesn't lean into his touch anymore, and she watches him grow more violent day by day, until he well and truly is a monster. His frustration at her turns into frustration at everyone else, and finding new ways to be cruel to his enemies, and even his subordinates, is the only way he can redirect the pain it's causing him. But they're still hanging on by a thread. She's too scared to leave, and he's scared of her leaving. But there's no saving it, even if she cares about him and always will.

Vantablack- His romantic gestures used to delight her, comfort her, but now any attempt from him just makes her feel dread. It absolutely ruins him that she's not comfortable with him anymore, and when he tries to make things like they were, it's useless. He's let too much darkness consume him, and he can't hold on to her anymore. It makes him insanely angry, and he lashes out at others twice as hard as a result. He blames her for it all too, when she runs away, and leaves him all alone.

Not Just A Name- He really thought she was his match, that she was the one cat who understood him and wouldn't let him down. She made him believe that things could be good, that he could find happiness, but he didn't realize just how much of himself he would have to change for that to happen. He refused to change, couldn't bring himself to, and instead surrendered to his worst impulses, and now she's run from him. He wasn't who she thought he was, and she clearly didn't know him as well as he thought she did, and quite frankly, he's just hurt. (Even if it was all his fault, he doesn't see it that way.) "Made me someone I wasn't, it's not just a name." He didn't, and can't, meet her expectations, or be what she needs, and that might be the only thing he's ever experienced that really breaks his heart. And she won't ever give him another chance.

The Less I Know The Better- He tells himself he doesn't need her, that he doesn't want her back. He tells himself he couldn't care less if she rots out there on the streets without him, but really, he still cares. He still wants her. He's haunted by her absence, and wants nothing more than her at his side again. She really was the last tie to his humanity, his morality, and he's lost without her. He'll beg for her, if he has to. He needs her back, but she's moved on, and ironically, was pushed into his brother's arms.

Loner- He constantly flips between thinking of stealing Demeter back or burning everything to the ground. He steals and fights and commits crimes just because he can, just because there's nothing else to do, or feel, without her. He's entirely closed off. When she was there, one of his henchcats could sometimes ask him questions or have somewhat easy conversation with him, but nowadays that's an impossibility. He has completely put on a mask and only barks out orders, reprimands, or toys with others to pass the time. He's just this angry, lonely figure. He hardly feels like a person at this point. Without Demeter, he has no direction, and no connections.

Gimme Shelter- The more time passes, and the more he realizes he can't get Demeter back, the worse he gets. He's intentionally nefarious at this point, and hateful. He resents her too, even though he still loves her. If he ever gets his paws on her, he isn't sure if he'll caress her or choke her. It's a bitter, cruel world, he has remembered, and the only way to survive it is to be crueler than everyone else around you.

I'm So Afraid- He truly feels as if he's been alone his entire life, and loneliness is the root of his problems. He felt lonely and misunderstood as a child, driven away. He feels lonely without Demeter, without her love. Really, if he tried hard enough, he could come back from his darkness, maybe try to find a new life, repent for his mistakes, but he's too scared. He's afraid of losing himself, knows he already has, honestly, and there's nothing to do about it. Macavity is big and strong and clever and intelligent but underneath all that he's always just been terrified of emotions, of abandonment, and of himself, and whatever bits of him that are Jellicle, burried deep down, are disappointed, and it kills him. He hates that he still has those feelings, and wants to drown them, or lock them away forever. He'd rather feel emptiness than any of this anymore.

Lord Of This World- At this point his name is beyond infamous. No one remembers the more tender parts of him, and no one relates to him. He's been branded a villain, by everyone, and so assumes the role with a sick sense of pride. He knows he's not to blame for how he is, no matter what the others say, and won't let them judge him. He's in charge. He is a stronger, better leader than his old tribe could ever have, and this is his world. He bears that burden alone, but believes it was always his to bear, just like it was his burden to fall in love with Demeter and endure so much suffering for her kiss on his lips.

Double Dare- He invites his old tribe and in fact everyone around him to self reflect. They're not blameless, they're not better than him, and they're not as strong as him. They haven't survived what he has, haven't built something from nothing, haven't overcome his odds. He thinks everyone around him is weak, even Demeter, for not sticking by him He's angry at her for being with the Jellicles, and believes they've killed the stronger bits in her, the twinge of darkness that she also had, and allowed them to be miserable together. He won't be fooled, won't be changed, even at the cost of her, now. Either she'll be brave enough to come back to him, like he believes she should, because she was made for him, or he is truly the only brave cat in the world. And if that's the case? Then so be it.

-------

So yeah. This man is fucking delusional. Yes, he had a rough start to life, but it was his own arrogance and fear that prevented him from becoming a better person or adjusting. He turned to dark coping mechanisms instead, and ended up ruining the only positive relationship he's ever formed for the sake of remaining comfortable. If he wasn't so frightened of judgment and change, things could have gone very differently. But nope. Now he's hated by everyone, including the object of his affections, and he'll be sitting alone atop the cold throne he built for the rest of his life. He's really just driven by impulse and desire, despite his masterful approach to crime. It's an interesting juxtaposition. Someone so powerful and intelligent is really just constantly pushed and pulled by his emotions. He's one second from spiraling out of control at all times, and that's what makes him really dangerous more than anything.

#my shit #asks #macavity #demecavity #cats 1998 #cats the musical #demeter #cats demeter #demeter cats #macavity the mystery cat

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phoebenavarro · 3 years

Text

the fading sun

I haven’t posted any of my writing here in a very long time but I’m rather proud of this piece so, why not. part of my “Jon decides Tim is the only person he can trust in s2″ AU, but can be read on it’s own

the magnus archives, jontim, 1,456 words

on ao3 here

Jon is the most tactile person Tim has ever met. It came as a bit of a surprise to him, because of the general vibe Jon has projected the entire time they’ve known each other, but as they’ve gotten closer, Tim has learned that Jon only allows himself to be like this with people he trusts, and Jon has never trusted many people. Tim feels all warm and fuzzy, knowing he’s one of the few people Jon trusts. So Tim holds Jon, and Jon clings to him like a lifeline. Jon is wrapped around him, with his head resting on Tim’s chest, and Tim is stroking Jon’s hair when a thought strikes him, and he snorts. Jon hums an inquisitive tone.

“Nothing really,” Tim says, “I just realized that this…..” he gestures between them, “Whatever this is. Us. Is the most stable relationship I’ve had in years.” Jon huffs out a half laugh, a little bitter.

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

Tim lets that sit in the air for a few minutes, enjoying the calm between them.

“What are we?” he asks, “Are we a couple? Romantically, I mean.”

Jon considers it. “I don’t know, are we?” he replies, lifting his head to look at Tim with a raised eyebrow. Tim pulls Jon up to face him more comfortably.

“Oh no, you’re not turning the question back on me,” Tim says, a little indignant, then, softer, “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t interested.”

Jon has definitely thought about it. He’s thought about how his relationship with Tim really isn’t that different from any other romantic relationship he’s had in his life. The main difference is the lack of kissing (or well, snogging, but Jon hates that word), and going out on dates. Tim is handsome, and kind, and funny, and he’s the only person who makes Jon feel safe, the only person who understands exactly what Jon is going through.

So yes, it’s safe to say Jon is interested.

“I’d like that,” Jon says, shyly, “If you would.”

“Oh, I absolutely would.” Tim waggles his eyebrows at him, a large grin spreading across his face. Jon smiles back at him for a second, before his brain decides to ruin the moment for him.

“I’m asexual,” Jon blurts out. He winces, embarrassed at his own self. He’s never been good at this part. Tim sits up a bit, leaning on his elbow. He looks a little surprised, but not shocked at the sudden change in topic.

“I mean, I figured?” he says. Jon’s brain short circuits.

“You… What?”

Tim gestures to the black ring on Jon’s middle finger. “The ring. That’s an ace thing, right?”

“Oh!” Jon looks down at his hand. “Yes, uh.” Georgie gave it to him, shortly after he figured out he was ace. She was the first person to accept that he didn’t really want sex, and she was integral in helping him discover that there was a word for the way he felt. “I— Sometimes I forget I’m wearing it, and that other people know what it means.” Tim nods.

Jon plows on, unable to stop talking. He hasn’t dated in a long time, since before he got the head archivist position, so he hasn’t had to do the ‘coming out to a potential romantic partner’ spiel in a while. He’s always anxious about it, but with Tim, he’s terrified. Not that he thinks Tim will react badly, but… Every person he’s dated since Georgie lost interest after he came out to them. He knows that, statistically, his asexuality couldn’t have been the reason for all of them, especially when he considered his difficult personality, but the last thing Jon wants is to ruin what he and Tim have now.

“I don’t experience sexual attraction, I never have, and I just want you to know that sex isn’t something I’m interested in, except on very rare occasions. An— and it’s nothing you’ve done, it’s just me. It’s how I am.” He wishes he could blame it on a low libido, but it’s a lot more complicated than that.

Tim is looking at him with such gentleness that he thinks he might cry.

“Jon,” he says, “That is okay. More than okay, really. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.”

“I mean— I don’t—“ Jon sighs, “I know that sex is something that you enjoy.”

Tim laughs a little, because now it’s his turn to explain a complicated subject.

“Yeah, sure, I have been known to enjoy casual sex,” an understatement, “But it’s not something I’ve been doing lately.” He sighs, unsure of how to explain it. “After Danny I was just… Numb, for so long, and hooking up with people was an easy way to feel something. It was a coping mechanism, I guess, but it really wasn’t healthy, so I stopped. Not that I stopped hooking up with people completely, but y’know, going on dates with people first and making more genuine connections instead of just… using them. And then Prentiss happened, and well, I haven’t exactly been sleeping with anybody.

“I know what my reputation was in Research. and I first liked you because you were never all judgmental about that. So if you never want to have sex with me, I’m fine with that.”

“Well, I didn’t say never,” Jon mutters. He knows he gives off a ‘never’ kind of vibe, (and he was, for a long time, until he figured out what he likes and how he likes it), but he genuinely enjoys sex, on occasion. Usually the issue is that he’s too much in his own head, thinking too much about the logistics, the vulnerability required, that it’s too much trouble, but it can be different with someone he trusts.

“That didn’t come out right,” Tim says, “I don’t want you to think that you’re a burden, or something. Because you’re not, and I want to give this a go, with you, because you’re you, and I love you.”

Jon stares at Tim, dumbstruck for a moment, because it is such a painfully Tim way to say it, and Jon once again feels like he could cry.

“Thank you,” he says, “I appreciate you saying that. Other people have not taken it well, in the past.”

“Fuck that,” Tim responds, “I’m sorry people were shitty.”

“Guess we’ve got that in common,” Jon says.

“Yeah,” Tim sighs, “Bi ace solidarity?”

Jon nods and leans in closer to Tim. “Kiss me?”

Tim doesn’t need to be asked twice. He’s been thinking about it fairly often for the past few weeks. He presses his lips against Jon’s, gentle and chaste.Jon melts against him. Tim doesn’t want to push things too far, since they haven’t had a real conversation about boundaries, so they just trade soft, sweet kisses for a while. It feels simultaneously novel and intimate, and Tim finds himself thinking that he would be content to stay in this moment forever.

After some time, Jon pulls away, a small grin across his face.

“Alright?” Tim asks gently.

“Very much so,” Jon replies.

“Hey, if we’re dating, is it weird if I still call you boss?” Tim asks, humor back in his voice.

“Only if you’re into that,” Jon deadpans, and Tim laughs that delighted laugh he reserves for when Jon surprises him with a joke.

“Oh Christ,” Jon says, as he thinks about the implications of dating someone who is technically his employee, “HR is gonna be a nightmare about this.”

“I mean… Who says we have to tell them?” Tim says, and Jon stares at him, affronted. “Yes, alright, I’m sure the employee handbook has lots to say on the subject, but this stopped being a normal job the moment we got attacked by a worm lady, so forgive me if I don’t see the point in doing the proper HR paperwork.”

“I suppose you have a point.”

“I genuinely don’t think there’s much we can do at this point that would make Elias fire us. And if he did fire us for dating I would leave a hell of a bad review on GlassDoor.”

Jon smiles. “I don’t think academics really use GlassDoor.”

“Whatever,” Tim shrugs, “I think HR would also have a thing or two to say about me sharing a bed with my boss every night for the past few months.”

Jon’s face goes red at that. “Yes, alright. We won’t tell anyone.”

“I’ll make it up to you. We could go on a real, proper date? Go out to dinner, maybe see a movie?”

“I haven’t been to the cinema in ages,” Jon says, “ ‘Would be nice.”

Tim snickers. “Cinema. Alright, Grandad.”

Jon kisses him again to silence his teasing.

#the magnus archives #tma #tma fic #jontim #jontimweek #mine #my writing

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whump-town · 3 years

Text

Into Your Arms

@genevievedarcygranger this one’s for you (I would have done more but the other’s sucked ass)

Various ways Aaron Hotchner stumbles his way into his loved ones arms only to give them heart attacks because he’s a drama queen with awful timing (and inspired by this post)

(1) Haley

He tells her everything that he can when he gets home each night. A second debrief where he sits on the couch, anxiously rubbing at her fingers, and is allowed to feel the impact of what occurred. She knows it’s just the honeymoon phase, that’s why he still greets each day with a smile and promises her it’s not that bad. He’s still got that look in his eyes like he can save the world or eat it whole like he hasn’t decided but when he does...

She thinks that if there was ever a man who could succeed, it’s going to him. His background is so drastically different from everyone else there. Not the son of a politician, hardly the son of a lawyer. Aaron has dragged himself here bleeding, nothing more than roadkill to these men. He might not have been able to pour himself into these cases as they had, doesn’t have the experience, but he’s lived many of them. Felt abuse and escaped his monster’s hands. Maybe she’d just needed him to be different. Safe for once.

But isn’t that what all those other men had wanted too?

It’s midnight when he gets home. She’s already in bed when she hears him fighting his bike into the door, the loud clatter of the pedals and the handles refusing to fit. All before he shouts angered and explosive and not nearly under his breath-- “fuck”-- before he gives up and throws it out onto the porch. Desperate with those thoughts that tell him everything is out to get him, that’s he’s alone in his misery.

She jumps when he slams the door, not expecting the sound from her typically very timid, soft-spoken husband. The man who will drop a dish or a pot and comes to find her to make sure he didn’t scare her. She’s known him for nearly all her life and she’s heard him utter maybe five curse words. It’s how she knows that what greets her downstairs will not be her Aaron but something broken, something like the boy who feverishly tried to convince her that his bruises and scars were something of her active imagination. The boy killing himself to save everyone else.

“Aaron?” She comes down the stairs, making sure to hit every creaky board so that he can hear her coming. He’s not in the living room. None of the lights are on but with the street lights pouring in she can make out just enough, and he’s not there. She searches it twice, making sure her eyes don’t deceive her but he’s not there. “Aaron?” she comes around the side of the room and stops.

He’s standing in the kitchen, shoulders shaking. She can hear his soft intakes of breath, the way he presses his hands into his face to muffle the sounds of his sobs. “Oh, baby.” She comes around him, keeping her distance until she’s standing in front of him. Watching as he wipes at his face, jaw quivering as he fails to hide the tears streaming down his face. “Aaron,” she hesitates to touch him, waits until she’s certain he’s calmed down enough not to flinch at the contact.

She starts with a hand on his shoulder-- this is the hardest part about loving him. No matter how many years she’s been here, no matter how long it’s been since he’s seen or talked to or been hurt by his father every time is like the first time. Like he’s still just a kid standing in his kitchen waiting to get beaten for something beyond his control.

He lets her get closer, anxiety growing but he wants her there. Knows it won’t get better until she’s got both arms around him so he wills his body to remain stationary. He whimpers when she touches his back but she keeps going until their chest touch and there is, he’s right there. She wraps him as tight as she can. Feels his heart beat against her chest.

“Okay, okay--” she’s not ready for how quickly his knees give out from beneath him. She pulls him back when it startles him, holding his arms with her own, willing herself stronger to keep him down. “You’re okay.”

He shakes his head, bowing in until his face is in her shoulder. “No,” he rasps. “She was right there,” he cries. “I had her in my arms, Haley. I felt--” he chokes on his own words. Chest heaving. “She died and I held her, she wasn’t alone but I couldn’t do anything.”

She hates the pain in his voice, the way he shakes nearly feverishly against her.

“She was seven,” he cries, “and I held her the entire time, I promise I did. I tried but she just kept bleeding. She was so tiny, I don’t even know how she had so much blood. I hurt her, Haley. She cried when I put pressure on her wounds. She was scared and all I did was hurt her.” He’s frantic, trying to make her see his reasoning. See him for what he sees, the thing he flinches from in mirrors.

She just holds him and waits for morning.

(2) David Rossi

Dave is going to put a tracker in the kid’s boxers. He’s fairly certain Haley might hate him but she might okay this idea, so long as nothing like this happens again.

“He’s like ten feet tall,” Max grunts, “how the hell did you lose him?”

Dave shoots him a glare in the rearview mirror. “I didn’t lose him!” He presses on the gas pedal, the old car groaning as it accelerates. There’s nothing David Rossi likes more than playing Mr. Cool & Collected and there’s nothing that Aaron freaking Hotchner has accomplished more than making Dave feel like the frantic father to a toddler that can’t just stand still in the store. It’s kind of ruining the badass vibe thing he claims so feverishly. It’s hard to be a hot FBI agent when he looks like those dads in the store, running up and down the aisle calling out for their child.

“Alright,” Jason soothes, reaching over to squeeze Dave’s elbow. He looks at the picture of calm but he can feel his own fears rising as the gauge climbs steadily over seventy miles per hour. “Easy, Dave. Have some faith in him, okay? You’ve put in the time, he’s a smart kid.” A blind hope sort of faith but all things considered (with the exclusion of the fact that Aaron is like a fire-bug and seems to not understand that you run from danger not to it) he’s has a good head on his shoulders.

“Right,” Dave mumbles. God, he should have left Aaron in Seattle.

They find him in a field and when Dave hears the deputy calling in his description-- early thirties, dark hair, slender build-- his breath catches in his throat. He’s expecting the kid from Seattle, whose gangly height had made Jason wince and Max laugh. Who drinks too much coffee and trips over everything to be brought back to him on a stretcher. A sheet thrown over his body. Suddenly all those jokes, the way Max pointed out Aaron’s ankles hang off stretchers, would fall bitter.

But instead, he sees that ten-foot-tall, 99% all-leg toddler that he hired and his throat dries.

There are deep, dark circles around his eyes. Too many cuts to count on his face, some actively dropping blood onto his dress shirt, but he still smiles. Still raises a hand to wave when Jason shakes his head and huffs out “that kid is a piece of work”. He leans heavily on the deputy at his side, wincing and limping but he’s upright and alive.

Dave gets to him first. Tearing through the tall grass to end up, chest heaving from the run, right in front of Aaron. He points a finger up at him, anger melting at the sight of just how tired he looks. How young he really is and Dave hates himself for bringing him into this stupid mess. “Don’t you ever do something like that again, do you understand me?” Is this what it feels like to finally find your kid in the endless aisles of Walmart? Because he’s livid but he wants to pull this big oaf into a hug and never let him go. “You could have been killed. Do you know how much paperwork that is?”

Aaron smirks, tilting just a bit and wincing when he puts pressure on broken ribs.

“Come here,” Dave says far too angrily to make it clear he’s on the verge of tears here. He pulls Aaron down, cupping the back of his head closer and wrapping his other arm across his back. “Big old idiot,” he chides sniffling to keep his tears at bay. Dave can feel him shaking, shivering despite the humidity looming over them thickly. Making even the air nearly unbreathable it’s so thick.

Aaron grunts, shifting in Dave’s arms but not away. Just trying to be comfortable but his ribs light up like a match has been struck inside him. “Rossi,” is all the warning he can get out, knees rolling out from beneath him. He hits the ground with a thud, Dave grunting to keep him from falling completely.

Dave grabs him, wincing when Aaron’s eyes roll back into his head and his mouth slacks open. Body jerking.

“It’s a seizure,” the deputy drawls. Dave is too shocked to fight as the deputy eases Aaron to the ground, rolling him onto his back, and holding him on his side. “You have to time it.” Dave looks down at his watch but he’s unable to think-- unable to breath as he hears Aaron moan in pain, crying softly as his body jerks beyond his control.

The deputy rubs Aaron’s chest, whispering something softly until Aaron’s eyes peel back open. His choked breathes easing into breathless pants, confused mumbles leaving his mouth. He doesn’t pull away from their touch, if anything Dave thinks he might actually press his face into Dave’s leg. Holding on a little tighter to Dave’s hand. “My son used to have them,” he tells them both. “You’ll be tired for a while but you’ll probably be fine.”

Unless it’s a brain bleed or a severe concussion or brain damage or a thousand other things.

“Da--Dave?”

He leans closer, squeezing Aaron’s hand and rubbing at his back. “I’m right here, you’re okay.”

Aaron peels an eye open, that signature scowl slipping into place. He looks like himself for a few moment as he looks around and artfully deducts, “I’m laying in the mud.” Leave it to Aaron. “It’s cold.”

Dave thinks again to the sweat pouring down everyone else’s backs. To the humidity so thick it should be considered a solid at this point, defying all laws of matter. “Shut up,” he says entirely too softly to be taken as it should be. A jab, a taunt. “You’re always cold.”

The crunching of grass betrays the medics coming in behind them but Dave doesn’t leave Aaron’s side. He hears the deputy tell them about the seizure. He smiles down at Aaron, brushing back a strand of hair. “I’m putting a tracker in your underwear. Gonna handcuff you to me next time we go anywhere.” And as Aaron’s eyes slip closed, loosing his battle with fighting his body, he smiles.

Dave already complains that he walks too fast, how would handcuffing them together solve anything?

(3) Penelope Garcia

They entrusted him in her care. She’d seen the hesitation in Emily’s eyes, watched her move back to Aaron’s side twice before averting her eyes and going to stand back by Dave. As if physically putting distance between them would solve the gut-rotting feeling Emily has that she’s abandoning him. That they’re all awful for leaving him but there are no other options. They leave him and they go solve this case and they can come right back as soon as it’s over.

“I’ll watch him,” Garcia promises. “We’ll be okay.”

And it’s relieving to know that it’s Garcia who will be here. It’s unspoken the connection between Garcia and Hotch. No need to review the ways he won’t even behave for Emily or Dave, he will succumb to Garcia’s nurturing ways. Let her tuck blankets around him and fuss with him about resting when he wants to sign himself out. He’s far more hesitant to hurt her. He loves her just a little bit more.

“Call if you need anything,” Derek reminds her again, as he stalls at the door. Looking back between Garcia and Hotch, convinced there is no way this goes over smoothly. No way Hotch doesn’t burn her trying to self-destruct and he’s afraid of what that will do to both of them. Garcia has ever right to be wounded by the daggers Hotch throws when he’s down-- a wounded animal cornered, snapping and teeth barred fighting with all he has left. But if Hotch sees the blood, sees the way that he hurts them… He doesn’t need any help placing those knives in his chest, prying his ribs open to see his heart. Trying to convince himself, as his blood flows freely over his hands, that his human.

They’re all terrified of what will happen this time. As they are every time he goes down. How much longer until the next time? How close will he let them get? How much blood is it going to take?

“We’ll be okay,” Garcia says again because she’s still trying to believe it herself.

But she knows that when he wakes up, he will be someone else entirely. An animal biting it’s leg off to escape, unaware that is leaves that mutilated limb behind that they will never get free. A few feet. Maybe a mile. Blood loss and infection will set in and they will die alone. Panting but free.

Aaron never cares about what he has to loose, he just has to get free.

The drugs hold him back for a day. She sits there, expecting every little hitch in his breathing to be the start, but the next inhale comes and all she has is a pained groan or a soft sigh.

She falls asleep, laptop precariously tipping off her hips, when he wakes. He doesn’t make a sound, just peels his eyes back and takes in his surroundings. He’s panicked, on the edge, and he sees her but he can’t say a word. He’s too tired, too drugged to even try to make the great escape he’s already formulating in his mind.

She hears the monitors pick up, something shifting in the room. “Sir,” she gasps but she’s a little too late. He’s already sitting up, hunched down and over himself. “Are you okay? Should I--”

The door is thrown open, startling them both with the bright lights from the hall into the dark room.

“Hotch are you okay?” she stays right beside him, trying to get him to say something. Anything.

The nurses buzz around him, not as frantic as she feels just quick practiced movements. She watches them give up trying to move Hotch’s arms, raising the sleeve of his gown up and plunging something into his arm. They step back, going to the machines.

“Hotch?” she tries again, softer.

He turns his head, eyes darting between hers.

“Are you okay?” she touches his shoulder and nearly jumps in surprise when he leans into her. She hesitates for only a second-- mind racing to understand what’s happening right now. Hotch who avoids hugs and hates attention, leaning into her. Seeking out comfort. “It’s okay,” she whispers, pulling his shoulders closer to her. “You’re okay.”

She can feel him deflating, all of him now against her. Head on her shoulder and his other arm, not the one pinned between their bodies, trying to reach closer. His breaths even out, no longer quick and shallow as they had been before.

“It was a sedative,” one of the nurses assures her. “He’s okay. He just needs to rest.”

Garcia nods and tries to pretend like that idea doesn’t terrify her. She’ll call Derek or maybe Dave just someone later and tell them about this. How quickly Hotch had just gone limp in her arms, unable to hold his body up. She’ll cry in the shower and probably every night after this-- is that how desperately he needs a hug? Should she have really been listening to him all these years and skipping him while showering the others in affection?

She doesn’t fall back asleep, she sits up with him. Listening to his breathing and calming him back down before he can wake up or work himself into a nightmare. She’ll make up for when she wasn’t there and vow that once he’s back on his feet, she’s going to pull him down into a hug and she’s never going to let go.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #haley hotchner #penelope garcia #david rossi

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