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#lonlyness
hamburguesaxd · 8 months
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we came from dirt
we have to swallow it
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dukeordeath · 17 days
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Let me die, just not alone
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ahiruartist · 7 months
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Led through the mist by the milk light of moon
All that was lost is revealed
Our long bygone burdens, mere echoes of the spring
But where have we come and where shall we end?
If dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?
How the gentle wind beckons through the leaves
As autumn colors fall
Dancing in a swirl of golden memories
The loveliest lies of all
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bluedragonflydream · 1 year
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It makes me so mad that people who didn't care about me at all ruined my life so bad
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ledestin-7 · 5 months
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Open sound 🔉☁️
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snarlingteeth · 1 year
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Feeling the loneliness of every pet left alone at home, fearing their owners are gone for good
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iamstargirlposts · 5 months
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we will all die one day, so what's the point?
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rottinglilys · 20 days
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i wanna feel something genuine, and not emptiness.
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booboodaddysblog · 26 days
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Disappointment
Part three
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Warnings: smut, p in v, fingering, arguing, crying, slapping, drama
Words: 3242
———
Colin woke up and looked at his watch. It was 4 in the morning. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Marg lying next to him. She was sleeping peacefully. Her lips were slightly parted. He was tempted to touch her lips. He was already about to do so when he remembered what time it was. He couldn't wake her up after all. There was nothing left for him to do but watch her beautiful face and listen to her quiet breathing.
He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He didn't understand how she could sleep so peacefully after what happened last night. He himself didn't know what it was. An argument? Or maybe it was just... the fear of letting her down. He wanted to give her so much of himself... and yet he screwed up. On top of that, twice more during that evening.
Colin hardly slept at all that night. His thoughts were running wild, trying to find a solution to the situation. Everything he thought about was negative. He was immersing himself and putting himself in a bad mood. He knew this was not good. He knew that nothing good would come out of this. It would only get worse and worse.
He desired to be happy. He desired to have a family. And that was going to happen in the near future. But... the longer Marg stayed in his house, the worse he felt. He was used to being alone, to living alone. He did not feel at ease now. On the other hand, however, he felt good with the knowledge that when he returned from work someone was waiting for him. It's an amazing feeling when you open the door and a loved one hugs you. All the stress and fatigue floated away as if by magic.
His thoughts were one big mess. He didn't know how he should deal with it. He was beginning to understand why his ex had left him. Probably because he acted the same way he does now with Marg. She had given up and left. She was really trying to save their relationship. She tried to talk to Colin... but he was closed off and focused more on work than his personal life. With Marg it's different, she understands his work... they work together. She can see what it all looks like. Stress, fatigue, thoughtfulness... trying to solve another case at work…
He looked at Marg again. She closed her mouth. Maybe she could feel him moving. It was almost 5 a.m... maybe they could try to fix their mood a little... just how... he looked at her again and smiled. He got up gently from the bed and stood in front of it. He started to go under the quilt from the side of Marg's feet. He hoped that what he wanted to do would succeed. He sighed quietly at the sight of her legs. He lightly kissed her left calf and moved higher. Suddenly he froze, Marg moved slightly and rolled over onto her back, still immersed in sleep.
- "That's even better” - he thought and licked his lips.
He started kissing her thighs, inch by inch. This was what he needed. He felt a hunger. He gently moved his hands over her smooth skin. He felt Marg move slightly and sighed in her sleep. Maybe she was dreaming of something really nice.
He was already really close to the spot between her thighs. He closed his eyes and kissed her there. He tried to spread her thighs slightly, but felt resistance.
- What are you doing? - said Marg in a sleepy voice, lifting the quilt to see who was disturbing her sleep.
- I... got hungry - he smiled innocently.
- And you claim to find something to eat here? - she said yawning.
- Of course - he whispered and moved his index finger across her stomach, sliding it lower.
- Okay, let it be - she sighed and lay on her back draping the quilt over Colin again. She pressed his head against her stomach. She heard muffled laughter.
He separated her legs and inhaled the sweet scent of his favorite place. He purred. He kissed her sweet and juicy pink lips. He felt her tremble. Her body was very sensitive to his touch, she felt everything with redoubled power. He sucked on her lips. He had to hold her legs because she wanted to escape him.
- Colin, oh God I can't stand it! - she moaned loudly and grabbed Colin's hair, forcing him to come out from under the quilt.
- What happened? - he asked surprised while licking his lips and wiping his nose with the top of his hand.
- I can't handle it. What you're doing is too strong for me. I almost peed myself - she whispered the last sentence.
- Oh... then how can I please you if you don't want to feed me? - he said pretending to be offended.
Marg pulled him close and pressed her mouth into his mouth. She kissed him deeply and passionately.
- I love your lips - she returned to exploring the inside of his mouth with her tongue.
An uncontrollable moan escaped his lips, and they were both breathing heavily. Colin, not knowing what to do with his hands, began to move them down her body. She wriggled under him feeling what he was doing. She moaned into his mouth and trembled even though he hadn't done anything yet.
- Oh you are so hot and wet - he moved his fingers over her clit - and hungry... - they kissed continuously.
- Yes... yes... Colin... - she moaned into his mouth.
- Yes?
He slid one finger inside her, with his thumb he continued to make circles on her pleasure button.
- Fuck me, Colin! Deeply! I need you there! Now! - Marg broke the kiss and drove her nails into his shoulders.
- Oh... okay... - he settled between her legs and spread them more.
Marg grabbed his dick and started moving her hands over it wanting to warm him up more.
- Oh my... Marg... - he closed his eyes and tilted his head back in delight.
- Enough of this, fuck me! - she pulled him to her and kissed him again.
Colin slid into her with a quick movement and immediately felt her clamp down on him. He moaned loudly and began to move. He didn't do it slowly, he was as hungry as Marg.
- Do you think our bean will be okay? - he asked, struggling to catch air.
- Of course not, don't be ridiculous. Fuck me! - Marg clung to his lips again. She put her arms around his neck and held him tightly.
Colin didn't say anything anymore. He carried out the request. He did not need to be told again. He moved quickly and entered her deeply. They both trembled in each other's arms. They felt they were close to fulfillment. They moaned loudly.
- Colin... I'm about to... - her back arched uncontrollably. She surrounded Colin's hips with her legs to pull him closer to her - deeper!
He entered her as deeply as he could. This made Marg scream and she reached the gates of paradise.
- Wow, that was fast - he stared at her without stopping moving inside her to give her even more sensations.
He didn't last too long. The sight of her trembling body and loud moans made him come deep inside her. He parted his lips and stared into her eyes reliving his orgasm. He fell back exhausted and sweaty on her still trembling body. He snuggled into her neck and kissed her lightly. He closed his eyes trying to catch his breath. They both slowly calmed down.
Marg stroked his back with her fingertips.
- Colin? - she asked quietly.
- Yes? - he answered still with his eyes closed.
- I have to go to the bathroom, my bladder is about to explode - she whispered.
- Haha, of course - he laughed, kissed her neck one last time and got off her laying down next to her.
With a smile, he watched Marg get out of bed, wrap a blanket around herself and go to the bathroom. He sighed loudly and rolled over onto his side and began to stare out the window. He was again consumed with overthinking. All the time these intrusive thoughts kept him awake. As if his brain was trying to tell him something. It was as if he didn't approve of what was happening in his life right now.
- Hi - Marg returned from the bathroom and lay down in bed again cuddling up to Colin's back.
- Hey... - he said quietly.
- How did you sleep today?
- Not good... and not the worst though... I’m not sure, and you?
- What happened? - she sighed.
- Just... I'm just upset about what happened yesterday...
- What happened yesterday? - she teased him.
- You know exactly what happened yesterday... - he sighed loudly.
- Can you remind me?
- Are you serious... Do I really have to? - turned his head slightly toward her and furrowed his brow.
- Yes, please.
- Fine... you know how... how did we have our little “fun”?
- Do you mean mine? You were just watching me… - she sighed.
- I didn't just watch... you know what happened before... before we even got to that part...
- You know what?! I was trying warm you up, but then you said “no”. I really tried my hardest. You just pushed me away. I wanted to pleasured you. I was so horny. Those fucking hormones! You didn’t even try to help me! You was just only “don’t touch me” - she started crying - I was so mad at you!
Marg sat down on the bed and moved away from Colin.
- I was trying to protect myself at that moment! And you just didn't give a damn about how I felt! - Colin also sat down.
- You were just tired! It's no big deal! - she shouted at him.
- And not just tired…
- And what else?!
- You really don't know why I didn't want you to touch me at all... - he whispered.
- So tell me!
- No... you'll get mad again...
- Tell me! - she slammed her fist on the quilt.
- No…
- Speak!
- Alright, fine…
- Go on! - she was at her limit.
- I don't want to tell you until you promise to stay calm - he said calmly.
- I am calm! Don't you see! - she shouted even louder.
- Please don't get upset with me for this.... it's just... it's really embarrassing... I warn you... - he watched her carefully.
- Gosh, say it… - she was a bit calmer.
- Do... do I really have to tell you about this? Won't you hate me for this?
- Colin…
- Okay... fine… but... but I told you... you have to promise to listen and not react until I'm done.... right?
- Okay… - she rolled her eyes.
- So... when I was younger... I... okay… so, I was very insecure and thought I was ugly and felt that no one could ever love me or think I was attractive... Then I entered puberty and my body started to change so much... and I really dealt with it badly.... I thought about many things related to my body, I felt that I was disgusting... I was ashamed of myself... - when he said this, he was not looking at her, he was looking at his hands, in which he was squeezing the quilt.
- Aha... that's it?! Colin, we fucked a million times! I saw you naked! This is nothing new for me! - she wasn’t calm, not at all.
- I know that, but it's still... - he sighed - still embarrassing for me to talk about it with you... Don’t you really understand? It's just still so hard for me to talk about it...
- Don't be afraid to talk to me. I’m here for you after all - she said a little more calmly.
- I know about it, but it's hard for me to say it now.... can you... can you be quiet and let me finish?
- I’m quiet - she rolled her eyes again.
- Okay... - he took a few deep breaths - can I... hold your hand?
- Okay…
He slowly took her hand, gripping it gently to make sure he wasn't squeezing it too tightly. He didn't want to hurt her.
He held her hand, letting his other hand also rest on her leg. He wanted to say something more, but couldn't get the words out. For a moment he watched them hold hands, enjoying the moment, which made him feel a little better.
- You are silent....then I have a question....
- Go ahead…
- Do you still love me? Do you still want to be my husband? Do you still want to have this child? I'm asking because you changed when we found out I was pregnant - she said, getting quieter and quieter.
- Of course I still love you... you know I do... and yes, I still want to be your husband... - he sighed quietly - as for the baby... honestly, I don't know why I act like I don't want to keep it... it's a very important thing for me, but I still don't know if I'm ready for it...
- You know… it's a little too late to say “I'm not ready for a baby” - she didn't look at him.
- I know... I realize that... but... I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it.... how do I even find time to take care of it, I barely have time for myself or you... - he looked at their hands.
- It's true, you don't have time for me... - she said with a sad face.
- I... yes... yes I know... I try to talk to you as often as I can... and I'm sorry if that's not enough....
- It’s not enough, Colin. I feel so alone…
- I know... I shouldn't have disrespected you like that when we found out.... I don't know why I did it.... I... I want to be there for you.... but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do about it... or how to behave... - he squeezed her hand lightly.
- Maybe I should go back to my place... to my home... - she whispered feeling tears coming to her eyes.
- Do you think it would really help you... or maybe you just feel that I haven't treated you the way you deserve to be treated? I've noticed that you've been upset with me all the time lately. I don't know what to think about all this myself... I wish I could just focus on you and the baby, but I can't... - he felt Marg trying to pull her hands out of his grasp.
- I feel that... you don't want me in your house - she whispered.
- I... I... but I want you to be here.... I'm sorry if it seems to you... - it was hard for him to say it - as if I didn't want it.... I just think I've been focusing too much on work....
- "I've been focusing too much on work”... What about me? - she looked into his eyes.
- That's the problem... I know I need to focus more on you and the baby... but I'm just trying to make as much money as possible so that we can have some peace of mind once the baby is here...
- Can't work remotely sometimes? - she looked at him hopefully.
- I could... sometimes... but would... yes, I would like to take care of you - he smiled slightly.
- I would take care of you too, you know it well.
- I realize that you may feel worse. Pregnancy has just started... God, it still doesn't get to me... - he groaned in displeasure.
- Yes, I'm still learning all about it too... we can do it together…
- I would like to make you breakfast and make sure you take all your pills - he laughed.
- I’ll cook, no worries. And I always remember about my pills.
- Oh… but what if you forget or something happens and you accidentally take a double dose?
- Colin… I won’t…
- But we still can't be too sure.... What if we accidentally end up in the hospital because of something like this?
He tried to sound serious, even if it was a pretty lame explanation. He really wanted it to sound more like something that might happen, rather than overprotective.
- Colin… stop…
- I... I can't help it... I... I'm so worried about you... and the baby... I just can't help myself...
- My pregnancy has just started, at the moment everything is fine.
- I know... It can be good all the time.... but what if it doesn't happen? Should we just sit here like this and wait, instead of preparing ourselves... mentally?
- I'm a positive person and I know that everything will be fine.
- I know this... but still....
It seemed hard for him to explain why he was so worried about it. There was really no reason to worry, maybe he was just overreacting. But it made him worry even more. He didn't like the thought that something could go wrong. Is that why he has been acting so strangely lately?
- Okay, stop thinking. Just hug me - she extended her arms toward him.
- Okay… okay…
He did as she asked. He hugged her. He tried to stop thinking about all the possible bad things that could happen.
- Everything is and will be fine - she whispered in his ear.
- I know... but I just wish I could get rid of these feelings, intrusive thoughts... I wish I could focus solely on you - he closed his eyes and savored her closeness.
- I love you…
- I love you too…
Colin sighed loudly and snuggled tightly into Marg.
- I guess, I have to go to work...
- Colin, I know - she whispered.
- I'll be back soon.
Reluctantly, he released Marg from his grasp and got out of bed. He went to the bathroom.
Marg didn't answer anything. She lay down again and covered herself with the quilt, listening to Colin's every step. When he returned to the bedroom to get dressed, she watched him. She still didn't say anything. She was sorry that he had doubts about their relationship and the baby. She had no choice, but to be patient.
Colin kissed her gently on the forehead, then on the lips. He put his hand on her belly and smiled.
- See you soon my love.
She smiled at him and watched him leave the bedroom. Then she heard him close the door behind him and start the car. She was left alone again.
——————
Part one
Part two
Part four
@robnovetre
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poeticrambler · 5 months
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Crystalline prison
We can see through each wall
Though we can not reach out
We watch others fall
Isolation together
In union, alone
The shrill cries for help
Chill us to the bone
We pound on our prison
A captive of fate
Dreading the worst
Help one minute too late
Calling out in the darkness
I see you, alone
But im trapped behind the glass of the screen of my phone.
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hamburguesaxd · 4 months
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you scare me
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kariiimm · 3 months
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You think you can handle it , then one day you can't.
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imasecretkeeper · 2 months
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I realised people never loved me for me.. It was just the way I showed up for them, the way I held them down and had their back.. They way I was always the stable one, the way my mindset stimulated theirs. The way I look past their flaws and wanted the best for them. The way I was loyal no matter what.. I'm this person, because I've always wanted a person like me in my life..
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bluedragonflydream · 1 year
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I'm doing better, but sometimes I miss the misery. I miss the self harm, the Ed, the drugs. I don't unterstand why.
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sinfonia-relativa · 10 months
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La única cosa que siento en este invierno es la soledad…
Lonlyness
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iamstargirlposts · 6 days
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why dont you love me mum? why dont you love me dad?
what did i do so wrong?
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