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your-name-is-jim · 9 months

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What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 2/2]

Part 1 <- Please read Part 1 first. Part 2 won't make sense otherwise!

This panel is absolutely AMAZING and you all deserved to see it :D

So, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Laura just proposed.

As you can see, Jim is panicking not sure what to answer, so the first thing he does is calling his two best friends. There are so many things going on here; I'll try to mention everything I care about!

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

This is an important part of this comic: apparently, in this story Starfleet isn't encouraging relationships between officers with a different rank. I know it's sort of implied in canon too, but it's not always clear if it's actually against regulations or if it's fine when the ranks are close.

As a K/S shipper, this detail just gives me an in-universe reason why Jim and Spock aren't considering dating each other in this story: a commander can't probably have a relationship with a captain. I mean, we already know from canon TOS that Jim avoids relationships with the members of his crew, so this just adds a layer to a potential forbidden love story between them. Yeah, I know this isn't what this comic is trying to do, but what can I say? Fans don't stop shipping something just because they learn it's not allowed in-universe… if anything, they can find it more exciting! :D

"We could teach at the Academy. Mind you, she laughed at that idea."

Oh, wait. Jim actually talked to Laura about their possible future together! It looks like he's thinking about them as teachers at Starfleet Academy. Hmm… this sounds familiar:

2277 — Accepts appointment to Academy faculty, moves into San Francisco apartment

This is from Kirk's biography in Star Trek official website. Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan, Jim accepts a job at the Academy. We see it at the start of the second movie, after Saavik takes the Kobayashi Maru test.

Wait, who's the other teacher here? :D

Okay, okay, in that era Jim is an admiral and Spock is a captain, so their ranks are still different, but except for that… They both teach at the Academy. And it's literally what Jim proposed to his love interest Laura in the comic! With my Kirk/Spock goggles on, what I read in that panel is "If Laura and I got married, we could both do this thing that I'm totally going to do with Spock in the future." LOL

Did the comic creators notice the parallel? Probably not. However, we K/S shippers have special skills for finding accidental implications about our ship everywhere, so here it is :)

"Your thoughts, please, Mr. Spock."

I said I had a lot to say about that single panel, so of course I can't skip the last line! A human woman has just proposed to Jim, and what does Jim do? He asks for Spock's opinion. This says a lot about Jim and Spock's friendship, and it's very sweet on Jim's part, but it also makes me think about Jim's love life. What about Jim and Laura's romantic feelings for each other? Does Jim want to spend the rest of his life with her? Perhaps the reason they don't talk about it (not even with Bones!) is that it's implied that Jim loves her and she loves him, even if they never say it. However, I still think it's interesting that Jim's discussion on the matter is mostly "logical".

Anyway, I swear I won't post every single panel of this comic, but Spock's reply is an absolute gem you all must see:

"I AM SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT OF JAMES T. KIRK."

(dkjflsdjlkdjglk brb losing my mind again)

Ahem. Okay, Spock. Noted. Also, wow, nice make up. Did I say that the art in this comic is great? Good.

"I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I find interesting his use of "equal status" instead of the more specific "equal rank". Status makes me think less of their official position in Starfleet, and more of how two people actually see each other. It's not just about Laura and Jim being both captains; it's about them seeing each other as equals.

Anyway, Jim jokes about Bones and Spock finally agreeing about something, and the conversation continues.

Jim's best friends are both encouraging him to marry Laura. In this panel, I zoomed in on Bones because his words are especially interesting. Based on everything we've seen so far, it looks like having a romantic partner when you're in Starfleet is a pain in the ass in general in this comic; however, Bones is pointing out that for the first time, Jim has someone who really understands. Of course, that's because she's a Starfleet captain too.

About Spock, I won't share the entire conversation, but I just want to say that as a K/S shipper who likes to think Spock is secretly in love with Jim in this era, I find his dialogue where he's supporting Jim's relationship with Laura totally reasonable. It's important to remember that this comic takes place close to the end of the five-year mission. We know that Spock is going to run away after that, trying to erase all his emotions in Gol. So, in this specific part of his story, I find pretty in character that he'd tell Jim to find happiness with someone else. That's what he'd do, regardless of his own feelings.

So, Jim knows his two best friends think he should say "yes" to Laura. What happens next?

During a mission, Jim meets his ex Carol Marcus. She is surprised to find out that Jim is considering settling down. This is not completely related to this analysis, so I won't post it, but I found interesting that Carol knows about every single woman Jim dated before he became captain (the only one she doesn't name is Ruth), and she even says "And that woman in 1930, what was her name?" Just… how the hell does she know? LMAO

At least Jim hasn't told her about Miramanee and Rayna (well, technically he doesn't even remember the latter), but seriously, Carol does know a lot about Jim's private life, even if it's clear she doesn't want her or their son to be part of it. (Not really related to this plot, but in case you're confused about the timeline: David is a child in this era; however, he doesn't appear in this story.)

Anyway, this is what she eventually tells him:

So, I like to think that Carol is genuinely trying to help Jim here, because the spiteful ex girlfriend is another thing I don't really want to see in 2020. I want to think that the creators meant well; however, what happens in the story is that, despite Jim not seeing himself outside the captain's chair, and despite his best friends telling him to marry the captain that is just like him… Jim keeps thinking about Carol's words.

He knows from Starfleet that he's going to be promoted to admiral the moment he reaches Earth. What is interesting here is that Jim could refuse the promotion and be a captain with Laura. This is definitely a different situation from everything else I've seen before. It's obvious to anyone who has watched TOS movies that Jim is not happy as an admiral. He didn't really want to be one. He doesn't want to be one in this comic series either (you can see it explored in Star Trek: Year Five main story). However, thanks to The Motion Picture, we also know that he will accept promotion at the end of his five-year mission. This isn't a canon divergence story: the writers can't really change any major event, so they have to work with what canon offers.

What I find interesting is that in this 2020 comic, Jim finds himself in the opposite situation he is in Gene Roddenberry's The Motion Picture novelization from 1979. In Roddenberry's novel, it's mentioned briefly that Jim starts a relationship on Earth with a vice-admiral, a woman that was basically asked to use her charm to keep Jim grounded. Jim could refuse promotion, but he finds himself lost, without his ship, without Spock, and eventually without Bones. So he tries to convince himself that a life as an admiral with a perfect woman by his side will be good for him (it will not; Jim himself will realize a year later that his lover was an "Enterprise-surrogate").

Now, I understand trying to write something fresher and more modern in this Valentine's Day special, but I confess that I find a little hard to believe that Jim would accept a promotion as admiral if the alternative was keeping both a starship AND a wife. Also, let's not forget that Spock and Bones are both telling him to choose the married captain life. So, while I totally get from a writer's point of view that if you can't change canon, you have to work with what you have, I'm also not sure that Carol reminding Jim that he's always wanted to challenge himself is enough to make him doubt everything.

I guess I can sort of see that as part of a bigger problem: Jim knows he can't be a captain for life; during his first date with Laura, as we saw in Part 1 of my analysis, he talks about it.

"I've been thinking lately about whether I could ever stop being a Starfleet captain. Whether I could ever want to. A friend of mine talks about 'infinite diversity'. That applies to the Federation, too. But here I am, only built for one thing."

So, Jim knows he has probably avoided the subject for too long. Carol is forcing him to think about it. And, more implicitly, we could say Spock and his IDIC philosophy are also making him think, even if it's not what Spock would have expected. After all, Spock told Jim to marry Laura (in the comic), and he'll tell him that being a starship captain is his "first, best destiny" (in The Wrath of Khan).

Anyway, Jim eventually decides to meet Laura and talk to her about his personal concerns. First of all, we find out that the two of them haven't called each other for six weeks. Laura is still waiting for Jim's answer, and she didn't want to call him. If you ask me, their lack of communication is yet another a big clue that perhaps getting married is not a great idea.

Well, now Jim is at least trying to talk to her.

Aaand that's how she breaks up with him.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, in a sense, Jim doesn't say "I decided to be an admiral instead of marrying you", but Laura definitely sees it that way. I think he was genuinely looking for help, but that just proves that Laura isn't the right person for him. Why marrying someone you can't communicate with? They are such a great team as captains, but it looks like that doesn't apply to their relationship. I pointed out other clues in the previous parts, and now we got this. It's interesting to see that Jim in this comic can have a normal conversation about his future with Spock, Bones, and even Carol Marcus, but not with the person he's supposed to build a future with. Unless something changes between them, it can't work out.

Anyway, this isn't the end.

A year later, when Jim is an admiral on Earth, there's a sudden emergency. A miniature black hole appears out of the deep structure of the universe (don't blame me for the science, I'm literally quoting the comic LOL) and it's attracted to Earth gravity. Short story: they're all going to die, but fortunately the Drake (Laura's ship) can cause an anti-matter implosion that will shunt the black hole outside their reality. Unfortunately, that also means the Drake will have to go inside the black hole. Laura evacuates her crew and asks Admiral Kirk to give her the order to proceed. Reluctantly, Jim tells her that he knows she'll do it, and he gives the order.

Now, please appreciate The Motion Picture aesthetic:

Okay, I know I could have chosen a panel with Jim and Laura, since this is literally their love story, but I did say this analysis was going to be biased, so here is Laura with her two closest friends instead; they would never let her risk her life alone! <3 They are very obviously meant to be a parallel to what Spock and Bones are to Jim, which is very cute to see. Now, Laura, listen to me: I know the three of you have different ranks, but you may die in a few seconds… And I just think that the few times your friends appear in this comic, you have a lot of chemistry with them, sooo maybe you should forget about Jim and just smooch one of them, or both… just saying :)

Ahem. Anyway, after Laura and her girlfriends disappear into the void, there's another timeskip. This time it's 15 years.

Oh, damn.

I said in the premise of this analysis that one of the reasons I decided to read this comic despite shipping Kirk/Spock is that, in my headcanon, Kirk and Spock get together after The Motion Picture. Until this point, this comic hasn't really gone against my headcanon. I can genuinely believe that Jim had another girlfriend during his five-year mission; it's not a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this comic has its last part taking place around The Final Frontier era. Dammit.

Well, it's just one comic. I read until this point; it'd be illogical not to read until the end, right? Nah, it's not logic. It's human curiosity. I know I won't like it, but I still want to see it.

Also, if there's something that I really don't want to see in modern media anymore, is female characters dying just to make male characters suffer. I can accept that in TOS show because it was made in the 1960s, but even TOS movies got better about it! Characters like Saavik and Gillian can have their own lives without having to die for a man's pain. It's not a coincidence that the writers had to kill Spock to make Jim suffer. Without digressing too much, I just wanted to say that K/S bias aside, I went into this comic hoping to read something different from another dead woman for Jim. I'm very glad that, at least about this, the comic creators didn't disappoint me!

So, in this story, it's been 15 years since Laura's disappearance (actually, it should be more, but I'll try not to nitpick, despite being the trekkies' favorite hobby :D). Anyway, the one with the whales The Voyage Home happened, and Jim is not an admiral anymore. He's happy to have a starship again, but he hasn't stopped questioning his life decisions.

We can also see that, 15 years later, he's reading the book Laura liked.

HOLD IT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE--

*inhales deeply*

(Friendly reminder to myself that what is obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone else, so I need to explain. Fine. I'll try.)

The screenshots I posted are from The Wrath of Khan, right after Spock's funeral. What Jim is doing there is reading the end of the book that Spock gave him for his birthday. He's mourning Spock.

In the comic panel, Jim has a new pair of glasses, because it takes place a little later in the timeline. But, except for that…

It's the same scene.

The same fucking scene.

I mean, come on! I can't even post the "they're the same picture" meme, because it's not funny if they're literally the same picture! Even the bookmark is the same!

The comic creators literally took a canon scene about Jim reading Spock's book after Spock is gone, and they redrew it with Jim reading Laura's book after Laura is gone. In a Valentine's Day special. Where Laura is Jim's love interest. They made a romantic scene with Jim and a woman that was originally about Jim and Spock.

(Brb, I'm going to chew a pillow until I calm down.)

So. Well. If you wondered why I thought there was something about Kirk/Spock in this comic… you have your answer. Perhaps the artist didn't think anything about it. I certainly do.

And I guess someone could say, "But Jim is still reading Laura's book 15 years later! That's true love!" Why yes, he's not reading Spock's book 15 years later, because he didn't stay without Spock for 15 years; he risked everything and lost all the most important things in his life to save Spock's soul.

Anyway, back to the comic. Starfleet receives a signal from the edge of Federation space. It's the Drake. Laura and her friends are alive.

Jim and Laura have a reunion after a long separation. Since they're both captains now, Jim thinks they are given a second chance.

Oh, whoops.

It's her turn now. It looks like being away for 15 years has changed her (as you can expect, honestly), and she's now glad to become an admiral. In this comic, that means Jim can't marry her. So, this is how the story ends:

So. Um.

This isn't a bad ending, but I also wouldn't exactly call it a happy ending. It's certainly not a happily ever after story. I'd call it open, maybe hopeful? Honestly, pretty much what I'd expect from a love story between an original character and Jim, so I can't say the writing is disappointing about that.

On the other hand, I can't personally imagine middle-aged Jim being so eager to start a romance again with someone he hasn't seen in 15 years who broke up with him 16 years ago. Perhaps he felt guilty about Laura's disappearance because if he had married her, they would have been part of a colonization fleet somewhere else and the incident wouldn't have happened the same way? Maybe. Personally, I would have found more believable an ending where Jim asks her to have dinner together or go for a walk, and then something romantic happening as they get to know each other again. But I can see why the creators wanted to bring up the marriage proposal again, just to close the circle. The comic is just 32 pages, so they did what they could.

"Unless there's someone else." "Not so much. I've been really busy."

Busy with what? Oh, right: Spock's death, Spock's body on Genesis, Spock's rebirth on Vulcan, the time travel (okay, that one wasn't 100% Spock-related), Spock's brother… Honestly, just say there's been a lot of Spock in your life, Jim, because that's the truth :)

On a more serious note, I guess that dialogue could mean that Jim has someone, but "he's been too busy" to do anything serious with them. However, as a K/S monoshipper I don't really like the idea of Jim being in an open relationship with Spock, so Jim's character in the entire scene in the end is just a big NOPE for me. Sorry.

That said, I found very interesting that in a few panels they show very clearly the "captain" rank on Jim and Laura's shoulders, to point out that it's the same. They can't be together forever, but they can have fun for a few days as captains. Because of that, I went back to the start of the last timeskip, just to check out something:

Fascinating.

This is a pretty detailed panel, where you can see the ranks on the shoulders of Jim's friends; the colors of their pins are also pretty good, close to the ones in the movies… except for Spock's.

Oh, please. Did you really expect me not to pay attention to this? :)

Captain Kirk and Captain Spock.

And unlike Laura, this is what they are until the end! The end of a very long life! Generations? What's Generations? Spock will eventually become an ambassador, but that's just a different job. How did Spock himself put it earlier in this comic?

"I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk. And I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Did the comic creators just play themselves? I don't know, I'm quoting their own story here! LOL

And what about Jim's words from the same scene? :D

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

Partners. Of equal rank. Working together.

That's literally what Kirk and Spock are since the end of The Voyage Home! Without an expiration date!

The comic creators made a big deal in their universe about relationships being better between two captains, and how good Jim and Laura may have been for each other if they had married as captains; and now they can't have their happily ever after because Laura is going to be an admiral… But even if the comic tries to hide it, we know there is a captain in Jim's life. And to make things better, Jim lost his admiral rank to bring him back. Listen, I'm a huge Old Married Kirk/Spock fan, so there's no way anything can make me forget that in the last TOS movies they're both captains. And there's no way I can forget that Jim risked his entire career (and everything else!) for Spock, and that's literally why he's not an admiral anymore.

This is almost ironic in this Valentine's Day comic. If it hadn't been for Spock, Jim would have still been an admiral, and he could have married Laura. Whoops. Too bad.

Speaking of admirals, I didn't notice it at first, but there's also something about this line Laura says in the last panel I posted…

"And don't you dare 'Admiral' me."

Ah, yes, a typical thing you tell someone you're planning to have sex with. Right, Laura? Agreed :)

Honestly, at this point I should just stop checking this comic, because I wonder if I'd just end up finding a Kirk/Spock version of every Kirk/Laura Rhone line LOL

By the way, I have other thoughts to share now that the story is over, but there's one more thing first. Do you remember the last panels of the comic? Middle-aged Jim and Laura kiss; END.

Okay. After that, the comic has a picture of the cover, with Jim and Laura kissing when they're younger.

And then it has this:

dklsfjlskjflskjlksjlkdlkgjdlfgsnfjekniuwanf LISTEN, HOW--

Just how am I even supposed to say anything that makes sense about this…??? I'm just… I can't…

Okay. So. We're talking about a Valentine's Day comic. It makes sense for it to include a cute Valentine card. I also get that Spock's iconic line has become so mainstream that it can be quoted out of context. And you can make parodies.

But… But… A Star Trek TOS fan can't really forget the original context of "I have been and always shall be your friend"? Someone could just not think about it, I guess… But, well, I know that at least I can't forget that this is literally Spock's line to Jim rewritten in a romantic Valentine's Day version. I can't possibly NOT think about it!

And I know it's very possible that the people who worked on the comic story weren't even aware of this extra, but the fact that I'm seeing this after reading about Jim Kirk's romance without happily ever after… Jim kisses a woman he can't stay with forever, and then there's Spock's "I have been and always shall be your Valentine". It's just so fucking funny. I can't. If I was feeling a little down after seeing middle-aged Jim wanting to marry Laura, now I'm laughing again. Thanks, Spock's silly Valentine card. I needed it! :D

Anyway, what did I say about this comic taking things originally created for Kirk and Spock's relationship and making them romantic when they're not about them? I can believe that sometimes it's a coincidence, but this card? Please… In a sense, this is the perfect ending.

---

Conclusions.

I started this comic with a question: in 2020, how do you write a story about TOS Kirk falling in love? I wanted to see this attempt. Overall, I think the creators did what they could. Laura is different from every other woman in Jim's life; they didn't kill her off, and they also didn't force a happy ending. I think they did a good job with the canon limitations they had, especially in 32 pages.

Do I believe that Laura could have been a good match for Jim in different circumstances?

As a temporary girlfriend? Yes.

As a lifelong partner? No.

Of course, I'm aware my answer is biased, but I can try to be a little more "logical" about it.

First of all, I think that the comic itself supports my interpretation: of course, like in every story, different people are going to see different things; however, as I already pointed out, Jim and Laura never say that they love each other, and before the marriage proposal their relationship is pretty casual.

In The Original Series, Jim isn't lucky when it comes to romance because the women he falls in love with can't really understand his nature as a space explorer. Sometimes they can, like in Carol's case, and that's why they break up with him. Laura is the opposite, because she's just like Jim. But here is the thing: I think Laura is too much like him.

What would have happened if Jim had accepted to marry her at the end of the five-year mission? They would have been both captains. On different ships, though. Sure, they could have been part of the same colonization fleet, as Jim says in the comic, and maybe it would have worked for a while. However, would they really have seen each other as much as Jim needs?

I don't know about Laura, but we see multiple times in canon that behind his mask as a starship captain, Jim is definitely more lonely than what someone may think.

First of all, don't get me wrong: in these screenshots from The Naked Time, Jim is single, so of course his attraction to Janice Rand is related to that. It's not the same situation he'd be in if he were married to Laura. Early in the series, he has thoughts about his yeoman exactly because he doesn't have anyone else. Contrary to his fame as a womanizer, TOS Jim in canon always has one woman at a time in his mind, never more.

So, why am I sharing those lines? To show that when Jim is always inside the Enterprise, he does feel lonely. He needs a romantic partner's physical touch. However, we also know that Jim does not want a relationship with one of his subordinates, so Janice Rand and the rest of his crew are off limits.

Laura is good for him because she's part of Starfleet, and not a subordinate. But is that really enough? From what I've seen in the comic, no. At the end of the day, it looks to me that Jim and Laura don't really know how to plan a future together. Perhaps it's because they're so similar, but they don't really think of themselves as a couple, especially Laura. There's Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Laura Rhone; they both love their ships, so they should get married? That's not how it works.

Their relationship is casual. Jim doesn't want to define it. Are they friends with benefits? Are they in an open relationship? Either way, when Laura decides to marry him, she asks around if Jim has someone else, and only after that she asks him. Jim, on the other hand, doesn't talk to her for six weeks after her proposal. He talks to Spock and Bones immediately, but not to her. He even talks to Carol first.

Then, when Jim finally tries to talk to her about his problems, she doesn't listen. Their lack of communication is the cause of their break up.

16 years later, what we see is even worse. It's obvious that Laura has just different priorities. Maybe it's because of what happened to her lost in space, but I'm not sure. If they had married at the end of the five-year mission, would have Laura always refused a promotion to admiral? Would she have tried to get a promotion with Jim? Based on what we see in this comic, it doesn't look likely to me.

Now, as I said, different people are going to see different things, so I'm sure that someone really invested in this romance can imagine that Jim and Laura are really meant to be, and they can get their happy ending after their retirement, or in other ways. However, I admit that Jim and Laura's huge communication issues make hard to me to picture a long happy relationship between them. They should both try to get better, but in those 32 pages there was no hint towards that direction.

There's another thing that makes really hard to find any love interest for Jim as a plausible "happily ever after" option: the stakes. I know that it's just a single comic, so the creators had to focus on a few things; however, I couldn't help but notice that Jim and Laura never really save each other from dangerous situations. They work together as a team, and Jim watches Laura disappearing into the void, but does he do anything about it? Does he try to reach her inside her ship before she disappears into the black hole? Does he try to bring her back from the void? No, he doesn't.

In TOS show and movies, Jim Kirk risks so much for his crew and his ship that a Star Trek fan can't believe that a new woman is the love of his life, unless Jim is willing to do for her everything he does for his friends. And honestly, after The Search for Spock… how can he even come close to do that?

And it's not just about Jim's actions. There's his language too. At the start of the third movie, Jim refers to Spock as "the noblest part of myself". What could he say about a love interest that is as deep as this?

Let's be honest here: the reason it's so hard to write a story about Jim Kirk's true love is that the real love story for him has already been written. You may not see it romantically, but Kirk and Spock's story is absolutely a love story. And when a character has someone he loves so deeply, it's not easy to convince the audience that he could have someone new to love as deeply. In Jim's case, the combination of his personality and his canon life makes it almost impossible.

Anyway, before I end up not so accidentally turning this analysis into a complete Kirk/Spock ship manifesto, I'm just going to mention one silly thing about the Valentine's Day comic. Please, don't take it too seriously, I'm half-joking :)

So, there are two kiss scenes in the story: one when Jim and Laura start to spend a lot of free time together, and one in the last panel. Well, I can't believe Jim isn't holding Laura's shoulders when he kisses her! That's just the basis of the way Jim kisses women! D:

Different Star Trek characters kiss in different ways; it fits their personalities. And because the rest of my TOS posts are probably too gay for these gifs, I'm dropping them as references here:

Sorry, but if Jim Kirk doesn't grab someone's shoulders before a kiss, it just kills my immersion! :P

Okay, a little more seriously: Jim doesn't always kiss women the same way; however, his "shoulder grab" is common enough that you definitely notice it if you pay attention. Because of that, I think it would have been nice to include it in the Valentine's Day comic.

After reading this comic, what kind of person would I consider perfect for Jim?

Well, my answer is obvious. However, I'll try to elaborate.

First of all, this story definitely convinced me even more that Jim can only be really happy with another Starfleet officer (or at least someone who's been deeply involved with Starfleet). He also needs someone who understands him as a space explorer, without trying to keep him grounded. And someone very smart, of course. These are all traits Laura has. But they're just the basis.

I don't think Jim needs someone in command of their own ship as a lifelong partner. As I said before, I can't really imagine it working out. Another starship captain would have their own goals and their own ambitions; that doesn't mean Jim shouldn't marry someone with specific plans for their own career, but I think these plans should keep the two of them close, not on different ships. Jim needs his partner physically at his side; if he could be happy in a long-distance relationship, I believe we would have seen at least one working out in canon. But it's never the case. Working on different starships from the same fleet would be a little better, but in my opinion not enough, unless it's for a short period of time.

And there's also the matter of his partner's personality. Jim is a natural leader; that's why he's so good at his job. I don't think he needs a similar kind of leader as romantic partner. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe they would just fight about everything they disagree about. I think he needs someone calmer in his life, not someone who'd encourage emotional outbursts.

More importantly, he absolutely needs someone he can communicate with. If he can't talk to his partner about everything important, they're not the right person for him. That doesn't mean they can't have disagreements or miscommunication issues, of course, but they shouldn't happen all the time, and Jim and his partner should be able to talk about them and make up.

In conclusion: someone at his side on his ship, smart, calm, trustworthy :)

Now, I know what some of you are thinking about: what about the "no relationships with subordinates" personal rule Jim has? How can Jim be in a relationship with Spock (or anyone else on the Enterprise) if he's everyone's superior officer? Well, first of all, I already said that after The Voyage Home, Jim and Spock are both captains. And before that… I think that Spock in the comic phrased it the right way. Jim can find his happiness with someone of "equal status". I think it's pretty clear, in my opinion, that Janice Rand and Spock aren't the same kind of subordinates to Jim. Just think about it: which members of the Enterprise call their captain "Jim"? Bones, Spock and (occasionally) Scotty. These are the three people I believe are "equals" in private to Jim, no matter their ranks when they're on duty. Because of that, a relationship between Jim and Spock could work pretty well.

By the way, another thing the Valentine's Day comic made me think about is that in TOS movies, Jim sort of does with Spock pretty much everything he does with Laura in this story. Not the same way, of course, but does it matter? Spock is his own person, he's not Jim's copy. That doesn't mean he can't indulge Jim, have fun himself… and try to stop Jim from doing dangerous things "for fun", as an old spouse would :)

Okay, perhaps throwing each other into the water doesn't count as dancing, but it's so much better :D

In conclusion, this is the way I can read the Valentine's Day comic as a Kirk/Spock shipper:

Jim mentions Spock on his first date with a woman.

Jim questions his life choices as he thinks about Spock and IDIC philosophy.

Jim does with Laura everything we see him doing in TOS show, except for playing chess (just the thing he does with Spock).

Jim says Laura and him are a good team in Starfleet because they had a lot of sex (is that true about other people he works well with??)

There haven't been many ladies or gentlemen in Jim's life because he's busy (not because he's not into men, apparently).

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together." Good for your future with Spock, Jim!

If Jim and Laura got married, they could both teach at Starfleet Academy, something Jim is totally going to do with Spock someday.

Mister "I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk" Spock.

Also, Mister "I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness" Spock, which is actual foreshadowing of his own future status with Jim.

Hey, look at Jim reading a book that reminds him of his lost love! I wonder where I've seen LITERALLY THE SAME PICTURE???

"Don't 'Admiral' me". This is totally not similar to what Jim tells Spock in The Voyage Home, of course.

Hey, we're both captains now! Just for a few days, but isn't that great? I wonder if anyone else is a captain now, and forever? :D

"I have been and always shall be your Valentine". Totally not a Kirk/Spock line, I don't know what you're talking about! :)

Okay, okay, that's all.

As a Kirk/Spock shipper, I won't deny that I'm a little jealous of this Valentine's Day special comic, because I wish we could get something with amazing art like this where Jim is in love with Spock. On the other hand, Star Trek: Year Five comic series has a few scenes about Jim & Spock's friendship that I really liked. Platonic, sure, but good enough for my K/S goggles!

Thank you so much for reading this post until the end! I hope you enjoyed my analysis! Live long and prosper!

#star trek analysis #star trek: year five #star trek: year five valentine's day special #star trek comics #james t. kirk #laura rhone #spirk #star trek tos #star trek the original series #k/s #kirk x spock #space husbands #my gifs

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bibbawrites · 3 years

Text

I Want Your Midnights - Owen Joyner x Female Reader (SMUT - 18+)

Request: NONE

Word Count: 2568 words

Summary: You bring your boyfriend Owen home for your family New Years party, which ends with you getting a little more than a New Years kiss

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, oral s*x (both male and female receiving), squirting, slight overstimulation

A/N: this is literally just 2.5k words of self indulgent babble lol so this idea came into my mind and I couldn’t get it out, i know i should be working on requests but i just had to write this, sorry! as i said, this is very self indulgent, the way new years is described is exactly how my family and our neighbours (who are close friends at this point lol) celebrate each year so i couldn’t help myself sorry for any typos, its 4am lol hope you enjoy it!

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added, removed or if you change your url): @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals

Every single year your family celebrated New Years Eve exactly the same way.

Your neighbours across the road would set up a table and chairs on their driveway, and your family and your next door neighbours would head across the road for a barbeque and drinks under the stars, with the Christmas lights that covered the three houses shining in the darkness.

And then after food the kids would always head inside to play a board game or battle it out on Just Dance, only stopping at midnight to watch the New Years fireworks go off and to run around with sparklers.

That’s how New Years had been for as long as you could remember. Only this year, things were going to be slightly different.

You were bringing Owen, your boyfriend of just over a year. You had celebrated New Years apart the year before, opting for a text to wish each other happy new year instead.

But you’d been dating for over a year now, and you couldn’t wait for Owen to meet your friends and family, and have the chance to ring in the new year together.

Owen pulled his truck into your parent’s driveway, parking before turning to you, his eyes full of anxiety.

“You’ll be fine, they’re all gonna love you.” You assured him, grabbing onto his hand. He bit his lip.

“There’s just so many people to remember.” He sighed slightly. “Give me a recap?”

You nodded.

“So you know my family’s names, right? Mum is Alice, Dad James, brothers Tom, Will and Lucas.” You said, and he nodded, so you continued.

“Rose and Max own the house we’re going to, and their daughter is Sophie. Then our other neighbours, the ones next door, are Graham and Pam, and their daughters Violet and Bella. You’ve met Violet, she’s my best friend, remember?” Owen nodded again.

“I think I’ll survive your family, it’s just everyone else I’m worried about.” He told you. You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand.

“It will be okay. I’ll make sure to introduce everyone when we get over there, okay?” You said, leaning across the car to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Now we should probably get inside and see if Mum needs help with anything.”

You climbed out of his truck, walking around to his side of the car and waiting for him to hop out, grabbing onto his hand when he did. He locked his truck and with a last reassuring squeeze you were leading him around to the front of your house.

“Do we knock?” He questioned as you reached the door. You giggled and shook your head.

“Knock knock!” You called out, opening the front door.

“It’s open.” Your mum’s voice called back from the kitchen. You led Owen down the hallway and into the kitchen, smiling widely when you saw your mum and dad stood behind the bench.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Your mum joked, and you dropped Owen’s hand to give her a quick hug, then your dad next. When you stepped back he grabbed onto you again.

“Mum, Dad, this is my boyfriend Owen. Owen, this is my mum Alice, and my dad James.” You introduced.

“It’s very nice to meet you sir and ma’am.” Owen smiled, and you squeezed his hand to reassure him.

“Oh please, call us Alice and James dear. It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you I feel like I already know you.” Your mother laughed. “This one never shuts up about you.”

You pouted.

“Don’t expose me.” You said. Owen grinned.

“It’s okay baby. if you asked my mum she’d say exactly the same thing.” He told you and you smiled up at him, before turning your attention back to your parents.

“Is there anything you need taken across the road?” You asked and your dad nodded.

“We were just about to take the chairs over, do you want to tell the boys and we’ll all head over now?” He suggested and you nodded, dragging Owen behind you as you went to find your three brothers.

After introducing Owen to your brothers and collecting the chairs from your garage, the seven of you headed across the road to where your neighbours had already set up the table and barbeque.

“Hello everyone!” Rose greeted from her spot next to the table with Sophie, as you made your way up the driveway.

“Ooh we’ve got a ring in.” Max joked, coming over from his spot behind the barbeque.

“This is my boyfriend Owen.” You introduced. “O, this is Rose and Max, and that’s Sophie.” You pointed to each one as you said their names.

Owen waved shyly and Rose smiled.

“Don’t be nervous, we’re all very nice.” She said and Owen smiled back. You placed your chairs down at the table, before turning to find your other neighbours heading up the driveway.

Violet was the first to reach you, throwing her arms around you.

“Hey friend!” She exclaimed as you hugged her back with one arm, your other hand linked tightly with Owen’s. She pulled away, grinning happily at your boyfriend.

“Hey Owen it’s good to see you again.” She said, pulling him into a hug too. You giggled at the slightly shocked expression that covered his face for a few seconds before he hugged her back.

“Nice seeing you too Violet.” He replied. She turned to her family.

“This is Y/N’s boyfriend Owen. Owen this is my mum Pam, my dad Graham and my sister Bella.” She said. Owen smiled at them.

“Howdy.” Graham greeted, while Pam and Bella just waved.

“Now.” Your mum spoke up. “Should we get this party started?”

Everyone settled in quickly, loud chatter filling the air as the sun went down. The three fathers headed over to the barbeque, Owen joining them tentatively, and you watched from your chair as your father handed him a beer and made sure to include him in the joking. You smiled, watching your boyfriend visibly relax which could have been because of the alcohol, but also could have been because of the fact that he could finally let go of the fear of being rejected by your friends and family.

“So Y/N, how did you meet?” Rose questioned, drawing your attention back to the women who were sat around the table.

“We met through a mutual friend, he was having a little halloween party and invited me and introduced me to Owen and we hit it off and started dating a few weeks later.” You explained.

“When was that?” Pam asked.

“Last year. We’ve been dating for a year and a month or so.” You told her. They all nodded.

“He seems like a good one.” Your mother said and you smiled, looking over to where Owen was stood, laughing at a joke Max had made.

“He is.” You agreed. “He’s a very good one.”

The dinner part of the night went well, everyone loudly joking around. Owen had fitted in well, confidently adding to stories and asking questions, and you couldn’t help but smile at how perfect the situation was.

After dinner, as per tradition, the kids of the three families headed inside, leaving the adults to sit and chat. You dragged Owen inside, sitting together on the couch as the younger kids decided what to play.

“Why don’t we go back outside and play hide and seek?” Bella suggested and when everyone agreed you all headed back outside and down the driveway onto the road.

“Oldest counts first.” Sophie said, and Violet groaned loudly before covering her eyes and beginning to count. You grabbed Owen’s hand, pulling him with you.

“I have the perfect hiding spot.” You told him, dragging him up into your front yard and into a small space between your house and a large bushy tree that concealed the two of you perfectly.

“You’re not scared of spiders, are you?” You questioned, and Owen’s eyes widened.

“I’m scared of all bugs, you know this.” He exclaimed in a hushed voice. You pulled an apologetic face, before an idea popped into your head.

“I know something that will keep your mind off it.” You said, before pulling his face down to kiss him passionately, slipping your tongue into his mouth. He groaned, pulling your body against his as he kissed you back, the two of you lost in your own little world.

“Ew oh my god, get a room!” Violet’s voice came and you and Owen jumped apart quickly.

“Shut up.” You replied and Violet laughed.

“Whatever. Found you, go join the other losers in the street.”

Midnight finally came around after hours of running around, playing Lego Rock Band on Xbox, and playing the family friendly version of Cards Against Humanity.

Everyone regathered in the living room, watching as the timer on the tv counted down, and you all joined in noisily.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!” You all cheered, and you grinned as Owen pulled you in to a soft kiss.

“Happy New Year O.” You mumbled against his lips. He smiled as he pulled away.

“Happy New Year.” He replied.

After exchanging well wishes with everyone you decided to head home, accepting your mother’s offer of staying the night in your childhood room.

You watched as Owen pulled his clothes off, leaving him in just his boxer briefs.

“Happy new year indeed.” You joked, your eyes raking his body. He blushed, stepping closer to you.

“Your turn.” He whispered, pulling on your dress and helping you take it off, leaving the two of you stood in just your underwear.

“Does your door lock?” Owen questioned softly, reaching out to run a hand down your side. You swallowed as you shook your head. He made a sound in disappointment.

“Guess we’ll just have to be careful then.” He said, closing the gap between you and lifting you up to kiss you. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he spun around, placing you down onto your bed and climbing on top of you, reconnecting your lips.

You ran your hands through his long hair, scratching slightly on his scalp, causing him to moan into your mouth. He grinded his hips down into yours, causing you both to gasp at the contact, your kiss getting steamier by the second.

Owen broke the kiss, panting slightly.

“We don’t have a condom.” He muttered.

“That’s okay.” You kissed him softly. “We can improvise.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah?” He questioned. You nodded, pushing him off you and forcing him to lay back on your bed. You palmed his dick through his underwear and he groaned.

“Fuck Y/N.” He muttered. You shushed him.

“Don’t want to be caught, do we?” You said, before pulling at his underwear, letting his dick spring free.

Owen moaned as you lent down, licking a single line up his dick, swirling your tongue around the tip.

“Make sure you’re quiet for me baby.” You instructed, before taking his dick in your mouth, putting as much in as you could without choking and wrapping your hand around the remaining part. Owen’s hands tangled in your hair as you bobbed your head, licking and sucking on his dick and occasionally scraping your teeth gently along it to hear his shaky gasp.

“I’m close baby.” Owen warned eventually and you tapped on his thigh to let him know it was okay for him to cum, a signal you had been using since the first time you messed around with each other. You continued to bob your head, humming against his dick which was all he needed to tumble over the edge, his hot cum filling your mouth as he moaned into your pillow to stay quiet. After working him through his orgasm you pulled off his dick with a satisfying pop, before swallowing his cum and leaning down to kiss him.

“Your turn.” He instructed once you broke apart from the kiss, flipping you over so that you were laying on the bed. He quickly undid your bra, throwing it to the floor before kissing his way down your chest, pulling one of your nipples into his mouth. You bit your lip to hold back a moan as his tongue flicked at your sensitive nipple. He pulled away, before repeating the same actions with your other nipple, and once he was satisfied he began kissing his way down your abdomen, stopping only to pull your panties off.

He spread your legs before making himself comfortable between them. He lent down, sucking a hickie into both of your inner thighs.

“Owen.” You moaned quietly and he grinned up at you.

“That’s it baby, you ready?” He asked and you nodded.

“Please.” You said, your tone verging on begging.

He grinned again, before burying his face in your pussy, his tongue flicking at your clit as you bit into your pillow to stay quiet.

“Delicious.” He commented cheekily, before slipping his tongue inside you, his hand coming up to massage your clit as he tongue fucked you.

“If you keep doing that I won’t last.” You warned and he ignored you, his tongue flicking faster.

“Owen.” You groaned, as he moved his mouth back to your clit, sucking it into his mouth. “I’m gonna...”

You were cut off by your orgasm shaking your body, moaning quietly into the pillow.

Owen looked up at you, giving you a cheeky look before continuing his assault on your now extremely sensitive clit.

“Owen what are you doing?” You questioned shakily. He laughed, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your body.

“Helping you start the new year right.” He explained before returning his attention to your pussy, his tongue flicking at your clit once more.

It didn’t take long for the familiar feeling of your orgasm to reappear, and you warned Owen quickly, gasping when he sucked your clit back into his mouth as a response.

Your orgasm hit quickly, and to both of your shock you squirted all over Owen’s face. He pulled away, staring at you in shock.

“Holy fuck.” He said after a moment. Too exhausted to reply you just nodded.

“Fuck.” Was all you could get out. Owen grinned.

“I didn’t know I could make her squirt.” He muttered, mostly to himself, as he grabbed one of the towels your mother had left out for the two of you to use in the morning, wiping his face and chest with it, before heading back to you.

“You okay baby?” He questioned, wiping your thighs that were covered in liquid from when you squirted.

“Yeah just exhausted.” You said, letting Owen clean you up.

Once he was done he grabbed your underwear from the floor and helped you pull it back on before offering you his shirt he had been wearing, which you accepted sleepily. He pulled his boxer briefs on before pulling back the covers of your bed and helping you in, climbing in next to you.

You yawned, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Happy new year O, I love you.” You whispered.

“Happy new year, I love you too.” He replied, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

You snuggled closer and not long after that you found yourself falling asleep, ready for another new year with your amazing boyfriend.

#owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #owen joyner x reader #reader insert #smut #sorry for the typos #this is v self indulgent

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jerepars · 3 years

Note

Back again lol. Even though the writing just hasn’t been the best this season, I’m not really that mad about the way they’ve portrayed Jeresa. Just looking at this logically, I feel that they gave us 5x02 as our Jeresa episode early on and there really was a lot of sweet moments. Now, inevitably we had to have angst in between. But it’s been constantly cemented that James is in love with Teresa, and strongly implied that she loves him too. They can’t just build that up and leave it unresolved. Plus, with TV shows in general, a couple being together early on in the series just leaves it open for unnecessary conflict and the ship just loses its intrigue. If they give us the Jeresa ending we’re hoping for then it makes sense to have not got them together any episode earlier than the final 2. And despite everything, I think the writers have been a hell of a lot better than others in keeping their ship alive and not causing a irredeemable issue between them. I probably shouldn’t defend them before seeing the next two episodes, but I am hopeful. All that being said, there most definitely should have been more scenes and dialogue between them. We should’ve had a Tony moment between them (I’m so mad about this, especially since the writers acted like it was such a pivotal part of the season and then only showed Pote’s ‘grief’). I’m very sorry for rambling, just wanted to hear your take.

Oh, yes hello, back again, I see. Your ask made me sigh because I think it opens me up to be honest and critical of this season’s writing, and that kind of opinion may not always be favored around here, and also because it requires a response of essay length. But I’ll do it for you, anon, I will. Okay. So you want my take on the portrayal of Jeresa in season 5. Here we go. After the jump:

Let me preempt this by saying the show isn’t too serious (try and tell me this is still a serious show after the kerfuffle that season 5 has been), so you shouldn’t take this too seriously either. I have an opinion but I’m just…me. I encourage everyone to stick to their guns about what they feel about QOTS; what you like about it, what you love about it, what gets you excited, what you think has been done well, what is worthy of praise, etc. etc. etc. I go in pretty hard on the show in the next several (LOL, yes, really) paragraphs. But I am in no way the ultimate authority on all things QOTS.

I don’t think Jeresa would have unnecessary conflict and I don’t think the good ship Jeresa would lose its intrigue. In lieu of conflict, we’ve gotten…*crickets* nothing. No conversations of real value, no meaningful exchange of ideas, no arguments, nothing. If anything, the conflict between Teresa and James that is necessary had been absent. In seasons 1-3, there were always disagreements between Teresa and James. There was never a point reached where it created too much conflict, or unnecessary conflict. It created tension, which is like the very essence of Jeresa, and it showed the dynamic they have that made so many of us fall hard for Jeresa as our ship, as our OTP. I don’t think making them a couple or having them together early on in the season would create unnecessary conflict. I think it could’ve created different conflict than what we’ve seen before, and wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing, to have seen them evolve and deal with each other in ways we haven’t seen before?

So, related to what I said about different conflict, as far as intrigue goes…I don’t think presenting Jeresa as a couple or in a relationship would ever make them flat or boring. When I think back to season 3, when we got Jeresa in 3x05 and 3x09, I wish we’d been offered the chance to see them succeed and see what happened with them if they tried. Like I said, it’d be a different kind of conflict, a different kind of challenge for them to face and have to face together. That sounds so opposite of lacking intrigue to me, anon. That’s a side of Jeresa I would have loved to see.

You’ve pointed out that, in general, on TV shows, getting a couple together too early usually means doom and gloom and failure for them. One of my favorite shows ever was Veronica Mars, the first two seasons especially. When the showrunner, Rob Thomas, has talked about the first kiss Logan and Veronica have, he refers to it as being earned. For QOTS, and for Jeresa, I really felt that when they shared their first kiss in 3x05. It took so much and they went through so much to get to that moment. It was earned. So, with that idea—of the earned kiss, of the earned get together, of the earned relationship—in mind, to me, there is no point in season 5 that would have been too early for Jeresa.

Talking about TV shows and how they usually go in general leads me to my next point: as a viewer, is that what I want and is that what I should expect, to be given more of what’s typical? Maybe the writers and critics and people much smarter than me will tell me it’s my fault, I’m the fool, for wanting to critically engage in media that’s not meant to be consumed that way. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept and enjoy and be happy with what I’m given. No one claimed this wasn’t going to be typical. So okay. It’s on me. It’s my bad. But here’s the thing. If I’m supposed to accept and enjoy and love this as it is…well, give me something to love. I’m not asking for a revolution or anything life-changing here, just something I can appreciate (and this season, in my opinion, has really lacked things that I can hold on to and appreciate). So as for typical TV…I’m not down with merely accepting that because things usually go a certain way, that’s how they always have to go.

Why do Jeresa have to fail if they got together earlier in the season? Why is it so out of the realm of possibility that they might succeed together? Are they so emotionally stunted, do they lack so much compassion and understanding of each other that it would be impossible for them to listen and move forward together? What if they could discuss their issues, tell each other how they feel, stop hiding, and try? Who says there wouldn’t be angst and tension between them as they try to work through their issues? What if they’re actually supposed to be together and it would make them stronger—individually and as a couple?

Now, forget everything I just said. LOL. Let’s say we have to go by TV in general and typical TV rules. Let’s assume if Jeresa got together early on, then we’d see them struggle and fall apart and break up. Fine. Okay.

Here’s how Jeresa could have played out after the first two episodes:

5x03 banging honeymoon phase, probably

5x04 arguments and frustration with each other as T embraces being the white queen

5x05 J finds out about T’s coke usage and has to walk away from the relationship because he can’t stand to be complicit and stand idly by while she destroys herself

5x06 classic Jeresa angst and tension

5x07 KG’s death leads to T’s breaking point and J is there to support her

5x08 honesty hour, where it’s made clear that these two mean so much to one another and they’re running out of time to let each other know that, so they tell each other

5x09 one last united mission + they hatch the plan to get out and be free + a farewell with the promise and intent to see each other in another life

5x10 reunion in another life

Are these all headcanons? Of course they’re headcanons. Of course I would never expect the show to go exactly how I thought it would or with my own ideas. My point is that if they would’ve gotten together early on and we’d been given a glimpse of what that would be like, even if they failed, it doesn’t mean it would’ve been impossible for them to ever find themselves together again before season’s end.

“There’s not enough time,” the writers said. “It’s an action packed season,” the writers said. Okay. Why? There was enough time to spend on backstory of minor insignificant characters. There was enough time to introduce characters, tell us a bit about them, only to see them dead by the end of the episode. There was enough time to focus on Kote’s story, over multiple episodes, with not just a baby plot but a kidnapping one as well. So why? Why was there no time for Jeresa? Forget about them getting together and kissing and sex. If that was what it was (and it was) they wanted us to not have, then fine. Some of my favorite Jeresa moments were in the first two seasons, when Jeresa getting together was very much not a thing, when tension was high. So if it was just the portrayal of them not being together, if we still got the scenes of tension and them having no choice but to communicate, that would be completely fine. Like I said, I know I’m never going to get exactly what I want, my headcanons are mine, so that’s okay. Oh. But…no. Oh no. There was not even enough time for Jeresa to have more than short, throwaway, blink-and-you’ll-miss it conversations? Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s a Teresa-centric season,” Dailyn claimed. Like I’ve said before, James is a big part of Teresa’s journey and story. If you’re going to have a Teresa-centric season, it’s hard to accomplish that without shedding more light on James and Jeresa. This isn’t a Teresa-centric season. This has become the Kote show. Teresa is the main character but her journey has been pushed aside, diminished, and downplayed in order to make way for Kote ultrasounds and Pote grunting and Kelly Anne thinking “positive” and hopeful that Marcel will come to a party at the safe house. Instead of getting conversations that would offer insight into Teresa’s relationships with those in her family, we got an extended deep dive into the most chemistry-lacking relationship we’ve ever seen on the show. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s Queen of the South, not Jeresa of the South,” the writers will insist. If by that they mean it’s Kote of the South. Imagine for a second that it actually was a Teresa-centric season but they were adamant about keeping James in this minor capacity. Okay. It would still be different than it is now because we’d be in tune with Teresa. We would’ve gotten a glimpse into her thought process. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about a strong woman? I can even extend that question to Kelly Anne. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about strong women? Then why do we keep seeing them make asinine decisions? Why are their most extreme actions in reaction to what the men have done?

Moreover, if this show is about the people in the cartel, in Teresa’s inner circle, rather than just the Kote side plot becoming the main plot, there’s no way this is the James we would be getting. James, our beloved reluctant assassin…who we know nothing about. He can’t even get a backstory on a show on which he is supposedly one of the main characters. Five minutes—five seconds—couldn’t even be spared on James and how he came to be who he is, how he got where he is. But Isidro Navarro? By all means, I need to hear his life story. Who’s Isidro Navarro, you ask? Right. Exactly. Apparently we don’t deserve backstory and explanation and conversation and introspection from our protagonists. But a character who is there for ten minutes or less on a single episode and will never be heard from again in any significant manner? Of course he needs his screen time. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“This is not a romance show,” the makers of season 5 said. Honestly? Fuck that noise. Fuck that sentiment. Fuck that ignorance. When has Jeresa ever been about romance? Where do the people who make this show get off saying something like that as if we are so stupid we don’t know that? A romance story and a love story are not the same thing. Jeresa is love. God forbid Jeresa ever experience love within a successful relationship. God forbid Teresa and James ever become mature enough to use love as strength rather than weakness. But pile on all the Kote. Focus on them and emphasize how Teresa and James can barely even look at each other. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

So now here we are, on the cusp of 5x09. We got a spoiler in the last promo trailer. We know, after 7 episodes since their last conversation that actually meant something, after the writers missed the mark and didn’t have Jeresa interact in a way that was significant and necessary over the course of the season, that there is at least one kiss. They might even have a conversation. They might even share more than one kiss that leads to more (but also, don’t be surprised if we get a mere few seconds of a kiss and nothing more before fade to black). This is going to make us so happy because finally, finally, they’re giving us what we wanted. And then what? What does it mean if those things are true? Is everything forgiven? Is the instant gratification of seeing our ship sail for a scene or two enough? Does it make up for the character assassination of the characters we love? If we somehow get the ending we want, or at least one close to it, is it even believable anymore? Is what has been broken all season so easily fixed?

Listen, I already know the counter argument. I’m going to be told I’m crazy, that Teresa has to be on her own, that it wouldn’t be interesting, that it would diminish the payoff for Teresa and Jeresa in the end. I get it. Typical TV rules, right? We have to go with what people know, what they’re used to. But what have we gotten, really, to preserve these ‘rules’ for TV in general? Teresa has been dumbed down and is now lacking a lot of the intuition and street smarts she had before. She makes bad decision after bad decision and she doesn’t see what’s coming. The actions she takes are in reaction to those bad decisions. James hates so much of what he’s been made to do but for some reason he keeps going along and carrying out Teresa’s orders; he’ll just stew over it quietly in a corner without saying anything. Teresa and James don’t talk to each other, at least not about anything important, and when they do talk, they give each other heart eyes but never scratch the surface—how could they when they talk for like 10 seconds at a time? So. Has this been a good portrayal of Jeresa? You tell me. If it’s fine with everyone else, then I guess it’s fine. I’m probably the wrong person to ask.

#answered #qots #queen of the south #teresa mendoza #james valdez #jeresa #i have opinions they are unpopular #unfollow me block me do what you gotta do #queen of the south season 5

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inkandpen22 · 3 years

Text

Somewhere (1/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.7k

Series Summary: Based in the early summer of ‘78, tonight Y/N is celebrating her 18th birthday. Her protective older brother and their friends take her out dancing. She envisions the perfect night!

A/N: In this story, muggles are aware of the wizard world. The series is based on West Side Story and POV switches between Sirius and Y/N. The red dress is based of the Saturday Night Fever red dress btw lol

Masterlist

Reader

While business slows down in the boutique, I hurry along on finishing last-minute tasks before the weekend. The goal is to get all of these orders done before closing.

“Hey, Lauren?” I shout for my best friend as she finishes stocking up the backroom for the weekend.

“Yeah?” She calls distantly.

“Could you bring me two of those navy cardigans when you come back out?” I recite, looking over the shipment list in front of me.

“Sure thing!” She complies.

Today is my eighteenth birthday. To celebrate, my older brother, Brady, is taking me out to the disco with our friends. It’ll be the first time I can go out to a club and drink. That’s not the most exciting part of today either! I’m officially an adult, a functioning, independent, member of society. My brother and his friends will no longer see me as the youngest who’s in constant need of looking-after. Brady has always been overprotective, but Lauren has tried to help convince him that I can take care of myself. Lauren and Brady have been dating since they were in high school, almost five years now. They’ve graduated from college and Lauren is eager to be married. In my opinion, it’s only a matter of time. I can’t see either of them with anyone else. Plus, I already consider Lauren my sister.

Lauren appears out from the backroom with a bright grin as she joins me at the register counter. “So, are you excited?”

“Yes! It’s going to be so much fun!” I gush, practically bursting. “Finally after four years of watching you guys go out with me, I can join!”

She gives me a knowing look, “did you ever end up showing your brother that dress you picked out?”

I bite down on my lip, pretending to return my attention to the order sheets in front of me. I can already hear her reprimanding, Brady’s too when he sees the bright red off the shoulder dress I picked up yesterday from the shop down the street. The fact that it’s off the shoulder will go over like a led balloon.

Lauren’s jaw drops, “Y/N!”

“I know, I know,” I sigh, trying my best to avoid a lecture. Moving around to the other side of the counter, I head to the office with the order sheets.

Lauren follows on my heels, “he’s never going to let you go, especially if you step out of your room in that dress and those matching heels you bought!”

“But it’s my birthday!” I plead, turning to face her with puppy-dog eyes. “My eighteenth, the most important one! It’s my first night as an adult.”

Lauren sighs defeatedly and I continue to express a poor, pitiful, pout. I can tell she’s on my side, but she also doesn’t want to go against her boyfriend. I understand her predicament, yet then again, my brother can be unreasonable too.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she offers, rubbing her temples stressfully.

I jump up and down, pulling her into a hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Oh, thank you!” I repeat profusely. If Brady is going to listen to anyone, it’s her.

“Ah, ah, ah, don’t get excited just yet,” she parts from me with a stern expression. “Your brother won’t be happy. I will vouch for you, but it’s up to you to stay in line. Tonight is your chance to really prove to Brady that you’re not a baby anymore.”

I nod my head frantically, “yes, yes, of course! Tonight will be perfect! Promise!”

Lauren narrows her eyes with a smirk, unconvinced. She hums, taking the sheets of paper from me to put them in the office.

Tonight will be perfect! I can feel it. I’ve been waiting for this night ever since I can remember. After tonight, everything will be different.

____________________________________________

Reader

As I listen to my Gloria Gaynor record, I stare at my reflection in my full-length mirror. More specifically, I admire the red satin dress that hangs off my shoulder. It’s everything I imagined it would be. As I think about it, it’s funny, I don’t feel any older, I don’t look any older, yet I feel different.

Over the music, I hear a series of knocks on my bedroom door. "You coming, Y/N?” Brady calls from the other side. “Lauren and the others are here!"

"In a minute,” I announce, lowering the volume of my music. “I have to do my makeup!"

"You look fine as you are!" My brother insists as I hurry into my bathroom. "Besides, someone is really excited to see you..." he insinuates.

"I have to look immaculate,” I argue, rushing to put on my makeup in front of my skin. “Plus, Jay can wait!"

Working as fast as I can, I follow a makeup tutorial Twiggy did for Cosmo. It’s crucial I perfect my eyeliner and large lashes.

"We're just going to the disco," he huffs, growing impatient. He would never last as a girl.

"It's my eighteenth birthday!” I remind him. “It's the first time I can drink and actually go into a club. Let me do what I want!” I then shoo him away, "go entertain your friends downstairs!"

"You have ten minutes!” He announces as a form of compromise. "Everyone's waiting for us!"

Mouthing the words to Gloria’s latest album, I’m practically dancing already and we’re not even at the disco yet! If only tonight could last forever. I want to ponder every minute, every second because tomorrow will be just another day and the magic will be gone.

Sirius

James stopped by my apartment to go over things for his wedding to Lily, but I have other plans.

"A disco?" James repeats with a frown, rolling over to lay onto his stomach on my bed. “And why would we want to do that?”

"Muggles really love them!” I tell my best friend as I move about my bedroom to get ready. “Plus, it’s the start of summer! We are officially Hogwarts graduates, what better way to celebrate!”

"Why can't we just go to a bar in Diagon Alley?" He reasons.

"You'll like this place, promise! Muggle music…” I struggle to describe it. “It’s unlike anything I've ever heard before!"

"But muggles are so... mundane,” he shakes as though he just caught a chill at the thought of them.

"I invited Remus and others too," I mention, certain that'll help convince him to come.

"At least we'll know people, I suppose," he shrugs, at least now considering the idea.

"Just give it a chance, James. Watch, after tonight you're going to want to spend every night of our summer holiday there!" I predict, nearly positive it’ll happen.

"Oh alright,” he complies with a huff, rising up from my bed to get ready. “I guess we don't have anything better to do," he grumbles on his way to the door. "Plus, we won't have to worry about any Death Eaters joining in on the fun."

Reader

I hurry down the stairs, to join Brady and his friends, Jay, Adam, and Henry, in the living room. The boys and their girlfriends have already started drinking while listening to some Queen in the background. They’ve gathered around on the couches and armchairs as they’ve done countless times before and after going out together. My brother is the only one standing, leaning against the fireplace mantel with a glass of scotch. Brady is the first one to notice me enter the room, he takes in my appearance in a scan of his eyes and waves me over. Clenching his jaw, he downs the remainder of his drink.

“What are you wearing?” He asks rhetorically, wasting no time to reprimand me.

“A dress,” I sass.

“Cute,” He remarks sharply, not finding amusement in my response. “Go change, now.”

“Oh come on, please,” I beg, taking his hand pleadingly. “It’s not that revealing and it’s my birthday!��

He shakes his head, pointing toward the steps. “Go, hurry up.”

“One night! One night and I’ll return it first thing tomorrow!” I negotiate.

He glances between me and his empty glass, twirling around the leftover ice cubes, clearly debating whether he should accept my offer.

“Please…” I mutter, pouting dramatically to get a rise out of my brother.

He huffs and turns to the group. "Alright!” He shouts to gain their attention.” All eyes shift to me and my brother. “Jay, boys, I need to keep an eye on Y/N,” Brady commands of his buddies as he wraps an arm around my waist protectively. “It's her first night out and the last thing she needs is uninvited attention, especially from wizards," he mutters the last part with disgust.

I look up at my brother in confusion. “Do you think they'll actually go to a human club?" I ask him, the idea never once crossing my mind.

Wizards don’t really interact with us. In fact, they’ve created a whole other system and lifestyle apart of our own to avoid us. Different schools, stores, forms of government. I would imagine they have discos of their own.

Lauren steps forward, "they're actually considered human-"

"Lauren!" My brother barks, causing his girlfriend to bite her tongue.

"That's debatable," Brady’s best friend, Jay, grumbles disdainfully, focusing on the drink in his hand.

Henry and Adam hum in agreement, looking at Brady like he’s a preacher.

"If we do see some, just stay clear, okay?" Brady orders strictly. Based on the sharpness of his stare, I best not test him.

"How will I be able to tell?" I mumble, having only seen a wizard once or twice my whole life, at least consciously.

According to Brady, and the others, wizards have the uncanny ability to appear normal just like us. However, in recent years, there’s been trouble amongst the wizard race. There’s a group of wizards who want their society and ours to be completely separate. My family and Brady’s friends are quite fond of the idea. In fact, most people are too. It’s such a frequent topic in the news, in addition to the tensions surrounding it, that I’ve grown annoyed by the dramatics.

"Believe me, you'll know,” Brady assures. “They're so dependent on their magic that they can't help but use it."

"Okay, I will..." I mutter, wondering if I’ll truly see magical-beings tonight.

_________________________

Masterlist

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indigobackfire · 3 years

Text

Phoenix Lazar Nobleworth Silverwood

Below is a lengthy history of his parents, their involvement with dragons, and how he lost them.

Ps: I tried adding some Scottish dialect in the dialogue, but I'm not the best at it considering all I have as reference is my love for James McAvoy and Outlander. Forgive me in advance for any atrocities lol. Also, diverging from canon especially in relation to Veela powers and physical descriptions.

Phoenix's father, Emilian, was sorted into Gryffindor and with pride, he was a Gryffindor by the book, adventurous, brave, often reckless, fun, with a strong sense of protection over his friends, someone who valued courage and honor.

Emilian didn't know how he and Palmer Silverwood - Slytherin, pureblood, much more popular than him, and one of the best duelists in their year - became friends, he also didn't know how Palmer found an about to hatch dragon egg in the forbidden forest, or how he even got into the forbidden forest to begin with, but being who he was, Emilian wasn't much surprised.

The biggest surprise was that Palmer even knew who he was.

Emilian takes a peek into Palmer's robes where the egg is hidden. "So? You're the dragon laddie, Nobleworth."

"Yeah, it's a dragon egg. Common Welsh Green this one." He looks up. "And is that what people call me?"

"Are ye really surprised? You talk about them all the time, yer the best in Care of Magical Creatures, and ye have a dragon painted at the back of yer bloody robes."

"Only fair. McGonagall hates it."

Palmer laughs. "Will ye help me?"

"Aye. But what ye want me to do?"

"I dinna ken. I just don't want the wee dragon to die. The poor creature wasn't warm when I found it so it's probably motherless. I mean... they fire up their eggs, don't they?"

Emilian smiles. "You're not as unknowledgeable as you think, Silverwood. Let's go somewhere more private."

In the humid and dusty air of the artifact room, they hide. "Hand me the egg."

Palmer hands him the egg delicately as if the creature inside it wasn't one that could eat them both in a bite when grown. And for a moment Palmer wonders what he'll do, but Emilian just stands there holding the egg. And as he's about to question him, he sees Emilian's fingers get bright red.

"Mate? What's wrong with yer hands?"

Emilian snickers. "I have a secret, can you keep it?" Palmer nods eyes fixated on the egg whose cracks were very slowly growing. "I'm half Veela and whilst I can't throw balls of fire from my hands... I can heat it up to... oven temperature."

"Oven temperature?"

Emilian smirks. "Ah dinnae have exact numbers, but if ye want to give a touch."

Palmer looks at his hands again. "Nae. They're as bright as molten glass, lad."

Emilian raises his eyebrows. "Oh, I felt it move."

"Ooohh, it's gonna set this tiny room on fire."

"Let me hide it this time. I ken a place we can go. The person ye should've gone to in the first place."

Palmer widens his eyes. "Kettleburn, nae."

"Silverwood, ye cannae keep the dragon. It'll set you on fire before completing one year."

Palmer puffs as they walk out of the artifact room. "If the dragon enthusiast dinnae want to keep a real dragon, why would I?"

"A dragon lover is the same as a bee lover. You can appreciate the honey, the lovely stripes, but if ye hold it in yer hand, it'll sting you. Dragons were made to live outside, flying, spitting fire. A wee dragon is cute, but once is grown..."

"Yer a curious lad, Nobleworth." Emilian gives an awkward half smile. "I like you."

Their friendship was as unexpected to them as it was for the bystanders, but one that sustained for their last two years in Hogwarts - including Palmer's girlfriend, Clarin, an uptight but curious Ravenclaw, who despite her best instincts followed behind on the boys' adventures.

When Emilian announced he would be leaving England for the Dragon Sanctuary in Romania a couple of years later, as much as Palmer and Clarin expected that to happen, it still came with the bittersweetness of watching one of their best friends go.

Years go by, but still, their bond sustains time and distance. Every opportunity they had, the SIlverwoods would travel to Romania to visit their friend who in a lighting in a bottle chance found himself a wife of "his kind".

Full Veela, Antonia Lazar, practically raised herself as her father left her mother, a temperamental full Veela woman, to deal with Tonia herself, a task she delegated to her equally careless family members, closely involved with the Dragon Sanctuary in times the place was still informally managed.

When Emilian meets her, barely wearing rags over her body, barefoot on the grass, pearl blonde hair unruly, looking as if she was raised by wild house elves, he couldn't help his heart hammering in his chest. Female Veela beauty wasn't something he was unused to, considering his mother and aunts were ones as well, but when Antonia was before him he thought of himself before a goddess.

Emilian tries not to spill the water in the heavy buckets while Antonia doesn't seem to be struggling at all. He wouldn't have a need to even carry them if he hadn't forgotten his wand, but at least he got to be alone with her.

"Why is it that ye dinnae like us?"

"You English think you run the place just because you read about dragons in a book, think you know more than us who grew with hundreds of them." She shoots him firey eyes. "Know when I first rode a dragon? I was five years old!"

"I never say I doubted yer capacities. And I'm not English, I'm Scottish." She glares at him again. "I'm kidding."

"Don't get me angry, you won't like it me angry. Trust me."

"I would actually. I wonder what color yer feathers would be."

"I'm sorry?"

"I ken a Veela when I see one. Especially cause I'm half one."

Her expression soothes a little. She puts the bucket down and grips his hand. "Go, do your magic."

While his hand goes as hot as they can, his eyes slowly change hues to match her, never breaking eye contact. "It's nice touching a girl who doesn't mind a more... ardent touch."

She gives a small smile. "You're pathetic."

"I'd love to fly on a dragon's back with someone who understands about them. I promise I'm not here to mock or doubt you. I love those creatures more than anyone I know."

She lets go of his hand and with a smirk picks up the bucket. "Well, now you know me."

Their relationship quickly becomes stronger as they spend day after day together. The work at the Sanctuary is as rewarding as it is tiring, so at the end of long days, they would sit together and exchange stories, her of her buckwild childhood and him of his years in Hogwarts. In each other's company that they find an air of normality and peace.

After recognizing and accepting her strong feelings for Emilian - something hard considering how men had treated her before, seeking what she had to offer them more than considering her needs - and finding out he felt the same for the longest time, they decided to marry, her seeing in him a sense of stability for the first time in her life.

It doesn't take long until Antonia is pregnant with their first child, and in the pool of genes and possibilities, their first-born boy is a full Veela like his mother, something uncommon for boys. Not considering what would be 'formal' or well accepted, Antonia decides to name him Phoenix for encompassing what being a Veela means to her, a bird of elegance and fire and perseverance.

And as if it was pre-destined, just a couple months prior, Clarin and Palmer had given birth to a girl of name just as uncommon, little Indigo Silverwood, who is but three months old when they come to Romania to meet little Phoenix.

To this day, the Silverwoods wonder if their timing was the best or worst it could've been.

As in the same week they came to visit, an attack happens with the intent of capturing as many dragons as they could from the reserve, something that had happened times before but this time much better planned and heavily armed with the best wizards they could get.

They start picking up their wands in haste while seeking the fire protection potion they had brewed specially for this trip back at home. "What do they need dragons for? Can't they breed their own." Clarin asks.

"Is not like is legal or easy to do so." Antonia has her eyes soaked with tears. "They don't care about the creatures, they want money. Oh, they use their blood to make spot removers. Oven cleaners! How can you take a marvelous creature and turn it into such a pathetic thing? Then they use their hearts in you wizards stupid wands and their skin into gloves!"

"Somebody must have heard about the new Chinese Fireball," Emilian says, "People seek the gold in their horns and eggs, but if you pull them out, they die."

"Not to mention the baby Romanians. Put your goddamn boots on already, Emilian!"

"What 'bout the bairns?" Palmer asks anxiously.

"There's no time. They probably ain't getting all the way up here, but in all cases." Emilian grabs the potion from Clarin's hands turning over Jacob's and baby Indigo's mouth, knowing the fire wouldn't do harm to Phoenix. He places something in Jacob's little hand. "Jacob, if any mean person comes trying to hurt ye, throw this at their feet and run. Alright?" Jacob nods, eyes wide with fear and excitement of a five-year-old.

"What is it?" Palmer asks.

"A vial of Peruvian's Vipertooth venom, extremely deadly and volatile. Don't ask me why I have it."

Palmer looks at Jacob. "Stay quiet and protect the babies, right, love?"

Antonia kisses Phoenix on the forehead one last time then turns to the others. "Let's go, please!"

And if they knew, she would've held him a little longer, Emilian would've stopped time for a couple of seconds to look at their boy for a lingering moment more. But they didn't and time never reversed.

They weren't the only lives lost, but side by side they fought and won and lost and lost and lost. They managed to protect all but two of the dragons at the end, blood of dark wizards - and innocent ones - soaked the grounds. Dragons loose on the sky overhead, blood spilt from both sides, burnt buildings, scars that would never heal, the body of a friend devoided of life, a mother of dragons and children never to wake up again, children crying in a cabin kilometers away.

When Antonia's mother refused to watch over her own grandson, Clarin felt as if it was her own son the woman refused and it was that soon the decision to keep him came. She was still breastfeeding and no ordinary family would know how to raise him right, at least that's what both her and Palmer told themselves. Emilian's parents, both devastated by the news of their son's death were quick to agree with the Silverwoods' proposal.

And it's like this that Phoenix and Indigo are practically raised as twins, still young when he notices he doesn't look like the rest of them - a pale and blonde boy in a family of tanned brunettes - not only for his looks but by the fact that sinking his hand into a pot of boiling water doesn't hurt or the fact his anger makes his body react differently from the others or that people got mesmerized by his looks enough to do whatever he asked them to.

But the Silverwoods learn the painful way that raising a Veela child is not easy work. Not only easily irritable but also dangerous when transformed, not much to others while still young, but to himself due to painful and harmful transformation, taking hours until he could retain his human form. Meditating and thought exercises became pivotal from an early age. As not make their treatment towards him different from Indigo, they become tougher with both, demanding an altruistic, patient, and empathetic behavior from both.

This leads Phoenix to grown into a level-headed, sweet and compassionate boy who eventually got sorted into Hufflepuff without the sorting hat having to consider long.

As much as he wishes he had grown with his biological parents, he's grateful to have grown in the family he did and doesn't consider himself any less part of it, he loves his siblings dearly and considers and reslects his parents as if it was from their blood and cells he was made of.

---

This is my attempt at a concise history of Phoenix, mostly his parents who I dream of drawing someday. I'll make something in the future for his romantic life as it is its own ride. I ship him with Ismelda and boy oh boy I have some to say about that.

If you wanna more info on Phoenix, I made him an OC profile :)

#mi artita #phoenix nobleworth #fanfic?#oc backstory #hufflepuff #dragons are in it too #an attempt at scottish sounding dialogue #i cant draw clothes for sht #or poses #or hair #help #hphm #hogwarts mystery

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wienerbarnes · 4 years

Text

Telephone Line

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,449

Warnings: pretty sad ngl but not angst, mentions of death, mentions of cancer, these warnings sound bad but i promise its just kinda sad lol

A/N: ngl even i dont know where this came from lol but ill prob make a pt 2? if the idea i have strikes enough material for another part. enjoy anyways tho!

MAIN MASTERLIST

A deep orange hue shines through the cracks of his blinds as Bucky looks at the new shiny exterior of his new iPhone. Being too reckless on a mission led him to a cell phone cracked in two, resulting in him having to spend four hours at the Apple store all the way in Manhattan, quite a ways away from his apartment upstate.

Low trumpets flow softly through the speakers of his record player, a bold blue box that Sharon gifted him this year for his birthday. He hums to Marvin Gaye as he goes through the device in front of him, setting up account after account, typing in password after password. Gaye was a few decades after his time, but he won’t let it show in front of Sam how much he enjoys his music.

He downloads the mindless puzzle games he had on his previous phone and is thankful that the contacts that were in his old phone were able to be transferred for him.

He locks the phone and sets it aside before taking out the small sketchbook from the drawer in his desk. He also grabs a pencil from the cup sitting on the corner of the wood and flips his book open to a fresh page. A new hobby Bucky’s picked up since Steve’s passing.

His real passing. Not the one everyone sold to the world in order for him to live the rest of his life in peace in a cabin far away, probably crowded in trees and flowers; perhaps the house is where a rainbow begins or where the sky rains golden droplets. Bucky wouldn’t know, he never visited after seeing Steve as an old man after he returned the stones.

There wasn’t anger; Bucky and Steve spoke about his plans before he left and Bucky was happy for him, he was finally getting the life he deserved after so much time spent doing the “right” thing, and not what he wanted. It was a situation of feeling… weird and awkward around this new Steve. It was a completely different Steve with different experiences, different memories. A family. Kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. Photos probably hung on the walls of the house of people he wouldn’t recognize. He always wondered what happened to him in Steve's timeline. In other words, he wonders if Steve rescued him from Hydra and spared him the eighty years of torture. He wonders if there’s any pictures of him in Steve’s house. For Bucky, it became, “I’ll go visit him another day,” until, well, there weren’t any more chances.

A sketch of what he can remember Times Square to look like from this afternoon appears on the paper. Rough lines shaping out tall buildings and people, small squares to outline the pavement, bigger boxes to indicate the shapes of the numerous cars that filled the area. He reaches for his box of colored pencils in the side-drawer of the desk when the generic ringtone of his new phone belts out loudly.

A number that isn’t saved into his phone appears on the screen. A Brooklyn area code. Maybe all the contacts didn’t transfer themselves.

“Hello,” Bucky answers after swiping his right pointer finger along the slide bar.

A hitch of feminine breath is heard before a few seconds of silence, before the three beeps signaling the caller hung up. Probably an accident.

Bucky goes to pick up his pencil again before the tone is heard once more, the same number on the screen. An eyebrow quirks upwards and he answers the phone again.

“...Hello?” Bucky says once more. Again, he’s met with silence before being hung up on. Maybe not an accident, maybe a prank caller. I’ve had the phone for maybe six minutes and this is already happening.

The same number calls for a third time and Bucky debates even answering this time. He lets it ring three times before answering.

“Hello?” He asks, met with silence. “Listen, I’m not in the mood for prank callers, so if you don’t mind-”

“Who is this?” A quiet feminine voice finally answers through the speaker against his ear.

“Who is- What do you mean who is this? Lady, you called me first!” Bucky responds, already exasperated with the conversation.

“How did you get this phone number?” She asks, voice shakier than the first time she spoke.

“I got a new phone and they gave it to me? How else do you get phone numbers?”

“No, no, no. You don’t understand. This-this is my husband's number. It can’t be your new number!” The woman responds, voice cracking this time.

“Okay, okay, hey, relax. Maybe there was a mistake? Maybe your husband received a different phone number?” Bucky offers, not really wanting to play Tech Support as he draws to wind down his day before dinner.

“No! There wasn’t a mistake, my-my husband is dead! This was his phone number and-and-and I call it everyday once I-I get out of work! How did you get this number, why did they give his away?!” Pants and shaky breaths are heard between almost every other word as you start audibly crying on the phone.

Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting that explanation. Great, a fruit gave away her husband to me.

“Hey, okay, take a breath.” Bucky suggests, and waits for her breathing to become a little more regular before continuing. “I’m sorry they gave me your husband’s number, it was randomly selected. I mean, I hope it wasn’t the last thing you had of his voice?” Bucky tries to offer.

“Of course it’s not,” You reply, voice sounding calmer now. “I just wasn’t expecting them to give away his number like that, it stayed for a few weeks so I thought,” a humorless chuckle, “I thought they’d let me keep it.”

“I’m really sorry about your husband. I, uh,” Bucky hesitates, questioning if he should be telling this emotionally unstable widow about his personal life, but continues anyway, “I recently lost someone important to me, as well. My best friend.” Bucky confesses, fingers toying with the circular edge of the back of the colored pencil.

A pause, “Can you tell me about him?”

“He, um, was a good guy. Real selfless. He was uh,” Bucky thinks of how to talk about Steve without actually leading to the fact that he’s talking about the former Captain America, “He was a bit older than me, and he passed away from health problems. Heart problems.” Bucky comes up, technically not a lie, his heart did stop when he died.

A small sniffle, “My husband passed away from lung cancer. The doctors told me there was no other hope for him; he needed a machine to help him breathe and a bunch of tubes in him to help him do everything else. So I asked the doctors to just…” You trail off.

A sudden deep sigh escapes her, the raspiness of her voice heard through the speaker and flows into his ear, “Sorry, I probably sound like a crazy person right now, calling her dead husband everyday just to hear his seven second voicemail.” You apologize, another humorless laugh following your words.

“I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re just trying to cope the best way you can. You miss him.” Bucky objects, still toying with the purple colored pencil in his hand.

“Um, yea.” You respond, probably not even expecting Bucky to actually listen to your rambling.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“James.”

“Of course it is,” You mumble, eyes closing on the other side of the call.

“What was that?”

“I said, of course it is. That was my husband’s name, too.”

A sympathetic smile pulls at his mouth, even though you can’t see it.

“Listen, if you even want to call again, I don’t mind. I can either listen in silence, or we can talk, or, whatever you want. It’s okay.”

“Thanks, James. That’s nice of you.” You say, voice watery, but Bucky doesn’t mention it.

“I’ll, uh, let you go, James. Sorry for any bother.” He can tell you’re struggling to hold back tears with the way your voice is straining.

“No bother at all. Have a good rest of your night, okay?” Bucky bids her, hoping she will, but accepting that there’s a good chance this poor woman will be in tears for the rest of her evening.

“You, too.”

A couple seconds of silence follow before the call ends. Bucky sighs, locking his phone once more. He picks up the pencil in front of him, ignoring the small tremor in his fingers, and presses the pencil to the paper.

He thinks about her for the rest of the night.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #oneshot #bucky x reader

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cherrybloomn · 4 years

Text

Delicate - Chapter 4

Alright guys, so here it comes. I am not really sure if anyone is reading this story, but for me it’s a great joy of writing it. I’m not much of a writer, but it’s a nice thing to give it a go. If there is anyone that would like to be tagged, let me know and I will. As for now there’s no tag list as I’m not really sure anyone reads this, lol

Once again, HUGE thank you for my most wonderful beta and supporters @musings-sans-muse and @shellbilee <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Warnings: strong language, (it’s a slow burn so.. no more warnings as for now), a bit of a breakdown.

Music inspiration: ( as I really love to discover all the music inspirations here on Tumblr, I’ve decided to put all the songs/music that have inspired me to write) -

1) Jacob Banks & Louis the Child - Diddy Bop -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxcsoynCkPk

2) Olafur Arnolds - Poland - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIq55s61KAE

3) Ruelle, Fleurie - Carry you - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i39fan8ow-o

Storyline: Naomi Poesy is a TV host of the show about acting and contemporary cinema. She is living life to the fullest, but for some reason she promised herself, she will never do any relationships. Much to her surprise she befriends one of her guests. Will she keep her promise?

30th of July, 2020

Naomi was driving her car home from her pure barre classes, when her phone rang. She quickly switched the Bluetooth on and pressed the dial button.

“Hello, boy. How are you doing? It’s your last Friday of freedom! Are you still in London or have you already got to the countryside?”

Henry chuckled. “Thank you I’m actually doing very fine. I can’t wait to get back to work. Finally. I’m in the countryside already. I’m throwing a small party tonight. Just closest friends. Shisha included. Hope you’re on board. Colin said he could pick you up.”

It took Naomi a minute to answer that question, as she was distracted by other drivers’ weird actions on the road.

“What the fuck is he doing!” She looked to her right and gave the driver sitting in the other car the scary look. “Oh, sorry. The party. Yes. Well, no. I’m sorry, I can’t make it. I’d love to though, really. I know we won’t be able to meet for a couple of weeks now, but BBN has a new CEO. Tonight there’s this introductory dinner. I have to be there. To be honest I don’t really know how I feel about it. This guy is so… disturbing. He visited us two days ago and said that he would announce who is going to end their journey with BBN, and I quote,“Some of you have nothing to add to the company”.

“Naomi, come on! You don’t really think you are one of these people! You are nominated to the TV Rising Star Award! Come on! But when itcomes to your presence at the party, well, I won’t deny I’m a little bit disappointed. I hoped we’d see each other tonight. But I do understand of course. Please let me know tomorrow how the dinner went. Oh, and I am keeping my fingers crossed on Monday. I sincerely think you do deserve to win the award.”

“Thanks. Alright, so, have a great time in the evening and don’t get stoned!”

“Thanks…” There was a short silence between them, Naomi felt like he wanted to add something more, but he didn’t, so she finally broke the silence:

“Ok. Oh, and Hen… I will sincerely miss you. I know how tight your schedule is” she stopped for a brief moment to rethink if she should ask for that, but decided to do so, and continued with soft voice “but just call me from time to time.”

“If I didn’t know you, I would have thought you fell in love with me, or something.” He joked.

Naomi smiled “Hm. I’m just curious. What makes you feel like you know me?” She asked playfully and grinned like a Cheshire cat at her question.

“Should I read between lines??” Naomi could only imagine him raising his eyebrow with the cheeky smile on his face.

“I don’t know. It’s you who said you knew me.” She giggled. “Ok, that’s enough. I’m almost at home, so I need to end this wonderful conversation. Keep in touch.”

“Absolutely. Now that you’ve admitted to falling for me, touching is inevitable.”

Naomi rolled her eyes and exclaimed quickly “Oh dear god, you did not just say that!” And also added with laughter: “Bye!”. She ended the conversation.

To fall in love with. Whatever being in love means. Naomi thought about it for a while. She didn’t really remember what that meant, how it felt. Was she in love with anyone right now? She knew she wasn’t in love with her fuck friend – James. Henry – on the other hand – was important to her. She thought about him every evening beforeshe went to sleep, she thought about him every morning. His messages made her smile, and the thought of their meeting made her feel warm inside. She knew that with every meeting, she wanted more – longer conversations, just one more movie to watch, another joke to share, another (un)accidental touch. She shivered at each thought of his touch. It has always been so casual and innocent, yet so powerful and soothing. Oh, fuck. Enough of this. He’s so not my type. Her own thoughts terrified her, so she tried to push them away.

***

The evening came very fast. Enveloped in a black, knee-length, silky dress by Dior and Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel, Naomi found herself in a cab on the way to the dinner. Her hair was styled in soft waves and her lips painted red. She was very stressed about losing her job, but tried to do as much as possible to make herself presentable and appealing. What a pathetic circus– she thought.

Just before leaving the cab Naomi fixed her makeup. She entered the Ritz, and quickly headed to the hostess, who waited to lead the guests to the tables. The young girl welcomed her with a glass of champagne, which Naomi politely accepted. She took a small sip. Let the shit show begin. Both women headed to the small room just behind the main chamber of the restaurant. Much to Naomi’s surprise the CEO was already sitting at the small table prepared for two. His posture was relaxed, his jacket hung over the backrest of the chair. He must have been waiting here for some time. He was a handsome man in his fifties, but his mischievous smirk was very disturbing. He didn’t bother to stand up to welcome Naomi.

“There you are! Our shining little star. Our nominee. Come closer, darling. Let me finally take a proper look at you.” He beckoned her. Naomi approached him and extended her hand for a professional handshake.

“Mr McKenzie, very nice to meet you.” She faked her sweetest smile and looked around. “Where’s everybody? I was sure I'd heard it was a meeting with all of the presenters.”

“Surprise, surprise!” He exclaimed and took a sip of his whiskey. “Darling I want to talk with you and only you. YOU are our future. I want to transfer you to the news section and make you the main news presenter. Excited?” He looked her up and down. “Turn around”.

“Excuse me..?” She looked at him with her eyes wide open. That request caught her off guard. She quickly looked around. All of the tables were occupied, and Naomi felt like everyone’s eyes were settled on them.

“Darling I said just turn around for me. I want to see you.”

The shit-show indeed. Naomi slowly sat down in front of her boss, never ceasing to look him in the eyes. “No, Mr McKenzie. I’m afraid I can’t do that.” She gave him a sly smile.

“Disobedient. I don’t like disobedience.” He slowly poured whiskey to the empty glass standing on Naomi’s side, and after filling it with the liquid he handed it to her. “Here’s to our new news star.” He took his glass of whiskey and clicked her glass. With his other hand he grabbed her chin and turned her head to her right side and then back to the centre, forcing her to look at him. “You’re so perfect. I will make a star of you. Just be good and obedient.” He let go of her chin and sat comfortably in his chair.

Naomi, usually so outspoken and forward, didn’t know what to say. At the very moment she felt exposed. Vulnerable. Fragile. Lonely.

“Mr McKenzie, I’m sorry but I don’t really see our cooperation like this. I am very grateful for the given opportunity, but I really love my show, and I have put so much effort to make it work. People like it, the guests like it. It’s not just another talk show, it touches important issues in theatre and film industry, it gives information about acting methods. I think it’s very refreshing and I have only got positive feedback from our viewers. We also have the social media account and the show has the biggest number of active followers. People like it and they associate the show with me. I wouldn’t like to give it to anyone else. I feel like it’s my child.”

“Naomi. I don’t really give a fuck about the number of viewers or comments made by spoiled, cocaine addict celebrities. This show is running to its end and you either become the face of the evening news on my terms, or you can consider yourself jobless.”

“Well, if so… I guess you will have the one and only chance to look at my ass, just as you wanted to. I’m sorry, but I can’t take this offer.” She half whispered all these words. She worked very hard on her composure, but inside she felt like bursting out. She quickly stood up, held her bag and left the restaurant. Just when she caught the taxi and sat inside, the tears started running down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe she was deprived of her beloved child, just because someone decided to destroy it.

She gave the taxi driver her home address but after just a minute she changed her destination. Henry.

An hour later, she was standing at the door of Henry’s rented countryside house. She could hear laughter and screams from the inside. She slowly wiped her tears away, trying not to destroy the remains of her makeup. It must have been destroyed, as she felt her cheeks burning from crying. She took a deep sigh and knocked a couple of times. After what it felt like eternity, Henry opened the door.

“Naomi! You made it!” He looked her up and down “You look absolutely amazing! What a sexy dress. It’s more of a sweatpants party, but no worries. You will fit just perfectly.” Henry was in a very good mood, which made her smile a little. When he asked her in, he noticed her puffy eyes. Suddenly he got all serious and frowned at her. “Hey, come here.” He wrapped his big arms around her. He started to gently stroke her back with his left hand, and with the right one, he moved her hair to the side and placed the palm of his hand on the nape of her neck, pushing her even closer towards himself. When he felt that she started sobbing into his chest, he rested his chin on her head. “Do you want to talk?’ He asked gently.

“Not now.” was all she was able to say.

“Henners it’s your turn! What the fuck are you doing with the pizza deliv…” One of Henry’s friends ran into the hall, to check what was going on. “Ouch.. it doesn’t look like pizza delivery.. Sorry, sorry. Take your time guys. I’ve seen nothing.” He quickly got back to the living room. “Hey guys it’s not pizza delivery, it’s a lady!”

The comment kind of lifted Naomi’s spirit. She cry-laughed, and stepped backwards, breaking the embrace. “I’m sorry. Thank you.” She extended her hand and touched his arm. “Thank you. I feel much better now. We’ll talk later, ok? I need to relax. And I should change. I feel so overdressed.”

“Of course. I have my ex’s leggings and t- shirts here, if you want you can wear them. How about me preparing a good drink for you and you in the meantime taking a hot shower and changing?”

“Sounds perfect.” She said with a weak voice and gave him a faint smile. She looked defeated. She felt defeated. After a minute Henry brought her a pair of leggings and white tank top. Naomi took her time in the shower, she then fixed her makeup, dressed up and headed to the living room.

“Hello everyone. To those of you I don’t know yet, I’m Naomi” She smiled and waved her hand. She knew some of Henry’s friends, as they have all met a couple of times at the parties.

When the time passed, this small gathering made Naomi feel much better. Some got burnt down with shisha and weed. One of Henry’s mates was taking the piss at Henry being referred to as “daddy” on the Internet. Another one of his friends, excited with this news, went on the literotica website, picked up some spicy story and both guys started to read it aloud pretending it was about Henry. Naomi found it extremally stupid, but couldn’t stop laughing. Henry was just rolling his eyes and smiling, he was obviously embarrassed.

“Alright, enough!” He shouted after a minute and everyone got silent.

“Oh my god, Henry. That was so dominant” Naomi purred in a seductive voice and everyone started to laugh dramatically. Naomi just couldn’t breathe. “I’m so sorry, oh god. This is too good.” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry…but I have just found out about that kink I had no idea about!”

At around 2 am, when everyone left, Naomi sat with Henry in the kitchen. She told him about her evening. He didn’t talk much, but was very supportive. He was listening to her carefully. He furrowed his brows and grabbed her hand. “I’m really sorry.” He whispered. They talked about it for another hour, and Naomi finally said: “Alright. I’ve got to go. Not that I need to prepare to work or anything, but still.” She laughed bitterly. In the meantime she ordered the Uber.

“You can stay, you know that.” He was still holding her hand gently brushing the inside of her palm with his thumb. Once she realized that, Naomi quickly withdrew her hand and stood up.

“No, you need to get rest before the big day.” Naomi grabbed her dress and high heels and headed to the main hall. Henry followed her.

Once Naomi went out, Henry stopped her by holding her wrist and said “Girl, don’t worry. You are strong. You’ll survive”. He kissed her on the cheek. “Let me know when you arrive home.”

These two sentences crushed Naomi’s heart. She’s heard it before and she’d never forget it. You are strong. You will survive.

As a child, Naomi’s biggest dream was to become the Principal of the Royal Ballet. At the age of three, she started her first ballet classes. She was a natural, and not long after she was accepted to the national ballet school. She was very talented. This is why she started to work in the Royal Opera House at the age of 12.

One summer Naomi had an accident. She fell down from a tree and crushed her ribs and knee. She also suffered a spinal injury. She had to have an operation. She had to spend two months in the hospital.

In the last week of Naomi’s hospital stay, her beloved teacher – Mrs Selena Kurylenko visited her. When Naomi’s mentor entered the room, she quickly exclaimed: “I just cannot wait to get back to school and on stage!”.

Selena Kurylenko sat on the small chair next to the bed. “Naomi. What are you talking about, my silly girl? You are not going back to school, child. After this accident, you will never dance again as a ballet dancer. I only came to bring your stuff and say goodbye.” She said with her thick, Russian accent. Mrs Kurylenko put a small bag on the counter next to the bed. “Your pointe shoes. Keep it as a souvenir.”

Even as a grownup Naomi still perfectly remembered the chills running down her spine on that very moment. The chills that felt like needles. She still remembered Mrs Kurylenko’s last words: “It’s a shame your mother didn’t tell you that you won’t go back to school. She is a weak woman. Unlike you, Naomi. You are strong. You always have been, and you always will be. You will survive”.

You will survive. Naomi just nodded, said goodbye to Henry and quickly sat inside the car, which had arrived. The driver asked for the place of destination, but she did not hear him. She hid her face in her palms, and couldn’t help crying. She was so fed up with everyone expecting her to be the strong one.

Suddenly she heard someone knocking on the window, which was followed by opening the car door. She quickly wiped her tears and looked at Henry leaning his shoulder on the opened door.

“I’m sorry, I just needed a moment for myself.” She said to both Henry and the driver.

“Naomi, get your ass out of the car.” Henry turned to the driver “I am very sorry for that situation. Here’s for the drive.” He gave the driver some money. “My friend is a little burned down and it’s better she stayed here. Thank you very much for your service.” Henry extended his hand to help Naomi out of the car. “Come on, get out.”

Reluctantly she went out of the car. The driver was a bit puzzled, but quickly disappeared, probably thinking that the party must have been pretty rough.

Henry raised his eyebrow at her and wrapped his arm around her “Come”.

“Noo.. I’m going home.” Naomi said with a small smile and tried to get out of his embrace. It was more of a tease than a real need to break the embrace of course.

He didn’t let her go and tightened his embrace. He also leaned forward and whispered into her hair: “Don’t push your limit baby girl, daddy will be pissed.” He gave her the strict gaze, but after a split second both of them burst out with laughter.

“This is sooo wrong Henry! So wrong!” She said, shaking her head. She finally got out of his embrace and went inside the house.

They’d been watching the most ridiculous horror movie, and at some point Naomi dozed off on the armchair she was sitting at. She woke up at around 4 am, and with sleepy eyes she looked at Henry, who was lying on his side on the sofa. He must have fallen asleep too. She slowly and silently knelt on the floor in front him and studied his face for a moment. He wasn’t her type, but sure thing he was an extremely attractive man. Naomi smiled at the sight of his curls getting into his eyes. She gently moved a strand of his hair to the side. “Are you sleeping..?” She half whispered. He didn’t react. “Hm.. maybe that’s true what you’ve said in the morning. Maybe I am falling for you after all. Too bad it would never work out though.” She stood up, and covered him with the blanket hanging on the sideboard of the sofa. Afterwards, she called the Uber, and once it arrived, she went home.

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #slow burn #henry cavill x other female character

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pankows-girl · 4 years

Text

Can I Be Him? - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader, Harrison Osterfield x reader

Summary: Based on “Can I Be Him” by James Arthur

Word Count: 1,266

Warning: Cheating, Cussing

A/N: This has been a wip for literal years but I finally got motivation to finish it at 3 am. It’s probably terrible but oh well lol. Enjoy

For as long as Tom can remember, him and Harrison had been best friends. Nothing could break the strong bond that they had made over the years, or at least before you came into the picture and changed everything. The three of you had met at a bar, you were performing as a solo artist and the boys caught your eye. After your set they came up to you and offered to buy you a drink and you accepted. A new friendship quickly formed between the three of you and soon enough you all started to hang out together. Tom and Harrison both fell in love with you but in the end only one of them got the girl.

Tom was beyond devastated when you and Harrison had started dating. Each time he was left to be the third wheel and it hurt him to see you happy with someone that wasn’t him. However, that someone was his best friend and he was happier than Tom had ever seen him before. The way you two went together so perfectly made Tom jealous. That should be him that gets to hold you and kiss you. There were a few times that he thought about admitting his feelings to both you and Harrison but he chose to bite his tongue and stay quiet. Who was he to ruin your happiness?

It wasn’t long before your singing career took off and you were performing all over the place. You were amazing, writing your own music, following your dreams. Harrison could not have been more proud of his girl or at least that’s what Tom thought. Tonight Haz and Tom went to every one of your shows, supporting you and your love of music.

Tonight you were singing a new song, one that neither Tom nor Haz had heard. As you walked onto the stage, Tom was blown away. You looked so gorgeous. It was like a punch to the gut as Tom remembered that you weren’t his, even if he wanted you to be. Oh, how he wished he never fell for you, then he would never have to feel this way, feel this longing that he always felt when you were around. He knew even if he had the chance to turn back time, he would fall for you again and again.

You walked into the room and now my heart has been stolen

You took me back in time to when I was unbroken

Now you're all I want

And I knew it from the very first moment

'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again

As you started to sing Tom felt his heart skip a beat. It felt like you were looking right at him, like he was the one that existed besides you. But, he knew it must have been Harrison you were staring at, who was standing right next to Tom. Though you were dating his best friend, his heart ached for you, hoping against all odds that the words you sang had even the tiniest semblance to him.

I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me

Like it was a private show, I know you never saw me

When the lights come on and I'm on my own

Will you be there to sing it again?

Tom knew that to you he was just another face in the crowd, only a friend, but it didn’t hurt any less. As selfish as it was, he loved you and he needed to tell you. He didn’t know if he could bring himself to do it, to risk ruining his friendship with you and Harrison. He wanted to be with you, be able to love you in the most wonderful way but how could he?

“She’s great isn’t she?” Harrison spoke to Tom, snapping him out of his thoughts of what life would be like if you were his.

“Oh yeah, mate. Y/n’s killing it up there.”

Harrison clapped Tom on the back, his eyes drifting over his shoulder to check out some girl that wasn’t you. The brunett gave him a once over and nodded her head at him

Tom clenched his jaw, unable to believe what’s about to happen. As much as he loved his best friend, he also envied him and his relationship with you. Not only that but he felt guilty for wanting his best friend's girl. But all that guilt flew out the window as soon as Harrison’s eyes wandered and he took a step towards the girl.

Tom looked at you for a moment. You were in your old world, oblivious to him calling after Harrison as he followed the brunette throughout the club after, eyes begging Tom to keep this quiet. Tom was dumbfounded as he realized the person he considered a brother was really a cheating asshole.

He felt sick to his stomach. You deserved so much better than Harrison. Tom knew he had to tell you about this but he didn’t know how. Little did he know that you already knew. You saw Harrison walk off with that girl and you did nothing. You continued to sing even though your chest hurt and tears threatened to escape your eyes.

After the show was over, Tom made his way backstage. He cleared his throat upon entrance, alerting you of his presence. You jumped, turning to look at him and noticing that Harrison was nowhere to be seen. Your eyes watered with more unshed tears and they didn’t go unnoticed by Tom.

“Where’s Haz?” your lip quivered as you spoke, already knowing the answer.

“Fuck him, seriously,” Tom scoffed angrily. He stepped forward, burying his face in your hair as he wrapped you in a hug. “He’s a twat.”

“I could treat you so much better than him,” Tom whispered into your ear, tensing as he awaited your reaction. “Just give me a chance please, darling.”

I heard there was someone but I know he don't deserve you

If you were mine I'd never let anyone hurt you, no, no

I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips

It's all that I've been thinking about

'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again

If you were being completely honest with yourself, you hadn’t been happy with Harrison for a while. You and Haz both knew it but never brought it up with another and sure him cheating really hurt but you also couldn’t lie and say that you weren’t relieved.

This was your shot at happiness with Tom. His words ignited a spark in you. One that caused all the hair on your arm to stand up and a smile to stretch across your lips.

“Ok, Tommy,” you mused. “Here’s your chance, don’t miss it.”

A smile lit up his face, Tom unable to believe that what he’s wanted for so long was actually happening to him. His eyes wandered down to your lips and you nodded, giving him permission to kiss you. Almost immediately his mouth connected to yours, nose rubbing against your cheek. You both pulled away for air.

“I have something to tell you, Tom,” you started nervously. Tom’s eyes shined as he looked down at you with curiosity. “That song I sang earlier was about you.”

He blushed at your confession. Heart nearly leaping out of his chest at his dream come true.

Tom pecked you in the lips. “I want you to sing it again. For me, please?”

Tag List: @toms-order @hollandjmc @totallyreadyforthis @tomholllandsquackson

Lmk if you wanna be added or taken off

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland fanfiction #harrison osterfield x reader #song fic #haz osterfield #tom holland fanfic #my writing

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dc41896 · 4 years

Text

And The Award Goes To...

After seeing this suit AND this walk, I had to come up with something lol

Pairing: Chris Evans x Black Reader

Warnings: None

“Well thank you for speaking with us and good luck tonight!,” the interviewer, Zuri, smiled, opening her arms to give you a hug which you gladly accepted.

The way your nerves were right about now, you felt like you could use a million of them and would take one from anyone offering.

Being escorted down the red carpet, your emerald green, satin dress seemed to reflect the sun rays the way it shined with every step you took in your gold, strappy stilettos. With simple spaghetti straps and a v-neck, the material clung to you from your chest to mid thigh where the left side split open down to just above your polished toes to show your leg, equally shining thanks to Rihanna’s Fenty Body Lava and you’re hydrated melanin. Photographers call out for you to stop for pictures as the sounds of cameras clicking and flashing lights seem to come in waves.

“I don’t think I’d ever get used to this,” your best friend, Hazel, whispers to you as you both pose for a few pictures.

“I’m not used to it either, this is just my first award show,” you answer as you resume your walk down the remainder of the carpet to the inside of the building.

“First of many though! Trust me, you just getting started girl.”

Being called the breakout star of the summer, you hoped that more roles and invitations to award shows were to come. Ever since you were young, you always dreamed of accepting an Oscar or a Golden Globe, and yes even practiced your speech in front of your parents, which they of course recorded and tended to bring out whenever they wanted to reminisce on your childhood.

In all honesty though, yea the accolades were amazing and you wanted them, but if they didn’t come you’d still be ok. You loved acting and to be able to do what you loved every day was all that mattered.

Waiting for everything to start, you sat at your table talking with your director and a couple of your other cast mates, as well as took selfies with Hazel. Looking at the picture, you see a blurry, yet familiar figure in the background prompting you to turn around to see if you were truly correct in your thinking.

Sure enough, you were and began quietly freaking out.

In what looked to be a chocolate brown, velvet suit with a white button down shirt and black bow tie, there stood Chris Evans looking as amazing as ever and currently walking pass your table to get to his. You never though you’d be hypnotized by a walk, but here you were openly gawking and wishing his table was across the room so he’d have to do the movement a bit longer.

“Dang Cap, bring that walk this way,” Hazel speaks, pulling out her phone to record him walking away.

“Put your phone down creeper,” you laugh lightly smacking her arm.

“Takes one to know one Miss let me openly stare at my celebrity crush and his booty.”

———

“Looks like your award is next!” Hazel softly squeals lightly shaking your arm. “I wonder who’s presenting for it?”

As if hearing her question, the announcer introduces Chris as he walks out smiling with card in hand.

“Whoaa that’s crazy!! You could receive your award from THE Chris Evans!,” she gasps. You managed to keep it together as the camera panned to you, softly smiling and being gently nudged by your director making you giggle.

On the inside though, you were a nervous wreck. You were already worried about falling if you had to walk to the stage, but now you had to worry about literally falling in front of Chris and never being able to show your face again due to embarrassment.

“And the winner for best actress in a comedic performance is...Y/F/N Y/L/N!,” he reveals causing everyone to applaud and your table to go crazy. Quickly hugging the rest of your friends seated next to you, you slightly lift the un-split side of your dress so it won’t potentially get caught on your heels as you walk.

“Welp here we go,” you thought to yourself, making your way up the stairs. Being the gentleman that he was, Chris met you halfway up the steps offering his hand to help you the rest of the way.

“Congratulations!,” he sweetly whispers handing you the figurine, which surprisingly had a good amount of weight to it.

“I’m really gonna try not to cry right now but chances are I will so I apologize in advanced for that,” you start, causing a small amount of soft laughs to erupt in the room.

“First off, I want to thank God because he blessed me with this opportunity, and I want to thank my parents who sadly aren’t here because of the flu but I know y’all are watching and I love you!”

“I also want to thank my friends both old and new, my director James, the cast and crew, and everyone else in my life that’s supported me and helped me in any way whether small or large. Ok I’m gonna go backstage now and cry and hope you all have a good night!,” you finish with a small wave as you turn away from the mic, applause behind you as you make your way off the stage followed by Chris.

“That was a really nice speech,” he says, now beside you.

“Really? Thanks! I feel like I sounded like a rambling mess.”

“You might’ve felt that way, but I assure you, that’s not how it sounded,” he replies.

“Y/N! Congrats on the award! We need you to come this way for another short interview with the press,” a tall, slender man with glasses interrupts smiling as bright as the camera flashes coming from the room where the interview was to take place.

“Well I um guess I’ll see you later. Congrats again!,” Chris smiles.

“Thanks and yea see you later!,” you reply smiling as he walks away to return to his seat.

“Yep this definitely will take some getting used to,” you thought, walking into what felt like a sea of cameras and questions.

———

“Tonight has been surreal!! Just being here in midst of everything, you winning, AND getting said award from Chris Evans!!! If I were you I’d be dead right now,” Hazel says grabbing a glass of champagne off one of the trays being carried by servers.

“I know!! I feel like none of this is real and I’m gonna wake up any moment.”

“Well it is real and I’ll even pinch you to show you if needed. Or better yet we can get your new bestie Mr. Evans to do it.”

“He is not my new bestie, and I definitely would not ask him or anyone to pinch me,” you laugh sipping from your glass.

“Whoa pinching? What kind of party is this?,” you hear from behind you causing both you and Hazel to choke on your drinks.

You from utter shock and disbelief he heard that, and her from laughing at your reaction.

“Chris! Hi! Um sorry about that I-,”

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s ok. Also if you did ask me, that’d certainly be a first,” he laughs.

“Um Chris this is my best friend Hazel,” you introduce as the two shake hands.

“Nice to meet you Hazel. And this is my brother Scott, Scott this is Hazel and Y/N,” he responds to which Scott shakes both of your hands and congratulates you on your award. “The answer is probably obvious, but how’s your night?”

“Amazing! I don’t want this night to end!,” Hazel excitedly answers causing you all to laugh.

“I agree it’s amazing, but I don’t think everything’s set in yet. And this probably will sound weird but I feel like Cinderella and as soon as the clock strikes 12, I go back to normal.”

“No it’s not weird at all, like you said everything is kinda unbelievable and it’s still a bit shocking. I totally understand,” Chris lightly nods before drinking from the beer bottle in his hand. “Also can I add that I love that movie.”

“Same! She’s not my favorite princess though, but I still love the movie.”

“Who’s your favorite then?,” he asks, leaning on the table with his elbow.

“I have two. Overall, it’s Tiana but for the songs it’s Ariel,” you answer.

“Can you believe? 2 grown adults going on about Disney movies like kids,” Scott whispers to Hazel, to which she nods agreeing with him.

“You should see her on the weekends. When she’s bored, she watches videos about all the rides, parades, and stuff in all the Disney parks,” she adds, lightly laughing along with Scott at you and Chris’ excited expressions as you guys continue on with your conversation.

“Hey you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That we head to the bar and let the Disney fanatics enjoy their time together?,” Hazel answers as Scott links his arm with hers.

“Exactly!”

“I have the feeling this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” she smiles holding up her glass as he clinks his with hers.

“And hopefully a beautiful relationship between those two,” he adds as they reach the bar.

“Wait? How did you know Y/N likes Chris?”

“She does?! I didn’t know at all, Chris kept talking about her at our table during the show and when we saw you guys here I suggested he go talk to her.”

“If they end up getting married, I’m expecting a shout out for the both of us for getting them together,” Hazel replies making Scott laugh as they cheers once again.

———

“So Y/N, the people need to know, how was your conversation with America’s golden boy?!,” Hazel asks joining you on the couch, plate full of waffles, eggs, and fruit in one hand as she holds out her fork pretending it’s a mic to your face.

“Girl you need to relax!,” you laugh lightly pushing her fork away. “But it was good, I mean he’s super friendly and we like a lot of the same things.”

“Yea Scott and I heard a bit of your conversation and let me say if there was a couples Disney jeopardy game, you guys would more than likely win.”

“Hey don’t judge us, it’s not our fault that’s something we like,” you laugh. “He said how he goes to Disneyland pretty much every year and said that I should come along-,”

“Umm say what now?!?! He invited you to Disneyland?!?!!!!,” she interrupts after momentarily choking on a piece of egg.

“I wouldn’t call it an invitation really. It’s like when you’re talking to someone about a nail place you go to and say how they should try it out sometime. Plus it was after I said I hadn’t gone since I was a teenager.”

“Either way you got invited by a guy who’s interested in you to Disneyland, which is a dream date of yours!!”

“Just because he was nice to me doesn’t mean he’s interested Hazel,” you reply taking a bite out of your omelette.

“Well let’s just say an EXTREMELY close source, aka his brother, confirmed that Mr. Evans was definitely into you and checking you out the whole award show,” she squealed.

Now was your turn to choke on your food.

“Really?,” you ask pulling yourself together. “He didn’t try to get my number or anything though so maybe it was just a ‘she’s pretty’ type like versus an ‘I really want to get to know her’ like.”

“I don’t think so, but we’ll see. Even still though he definitely invited you to Disney and you better take him up on that offer or I’ll smack you then go in your place!,” Hazel adds, picking up your now empty plates to put them in the sink.

“Noted,” you laugh now looking at the messages on my our phone. Of course there were the usual ‘congratulations!’ from family members, your team, and your other co stars who were unable to come to the show.

Although he was there, your director even messaged you telling you congratulations again on your award followed by one of the sweetest message you’d ever recieved saying how much he appreciated you on set and that you were surely about to change the acting game.

Y/N: Aww James, I was trying not to cry today lol!!! ❤️😭😭 that was so sweet and I thank you so much for giving me this chance that has surely changed my life forever!

😎Bond, James Bond🎥: You’re so welcome love and deserve it😘! Also I have some news...

Y/N: Ohh another project you want me to be in?? Wait I don’t have to give the award back do I👀?

😎 Bond, James Bond🎥: Lmao no not yet and no it’s yours🤣🤣. The news is a certain someone who you were talking to ALL night asked me for your number and I wanted to ask you first before I gave it out just to be sure

Y/N: 😳😳😳🤯

😎Bond, James Bond🎥: Mhmm 😏😏

Y/N: Lol yea it’s fine you can give it to him

😎Bond, James Bond🎥: Done! Have fun you two 😉😂!

You expected that he was probably busy and you’d more than likely hear from him later. However the running theme of your life recently seemed to be how nothing turned out how you expected.

???: Hey Y/N! It’s Chris

???: That is Chris from last night, in case you know another Chris lol

“Oh my gosh he’s such an adorable dork!,” Hazel gushes from over your shoulder, making you jump.

“Can I have some space ma’am?!”

“Oh sorry,” she innocently smiles going towards her bedroom. “If you need me, just call!”

Shaking your head as she exits, you turn your attention back to the screen in your hands and hoping that you don’t make a fool of yourself.

Y/N: Hey😊! And can honestly say I don’t know any other Chris’ lol

Chris: Lol ok good. I mean not that other Chris’ are bad or anything. Looking back at it, I should’ve just left it at “Chris from last night” my bad 🤦🏼‍♂️

Y/N: 🤣🤣 it’s ok. Exactly how many drinks did you have last night?

Chris:😶....lets just say I’m not totally hungover, but my head is hurting a bit 😂

Hearing you laugh to yourself from downstairs, Hazel contently sighs before turning on her laptop as she plops down on her bed.

“Yep, I can hear the wedding bells and thank you speech now,” she speaks to herself as she smiles.

A/N: So this turned out longer than I expected and not gonna lie, kinda didn’t know where I wanted to go with it by the time I got in the middle of it😓 lol but hopefully you guys like it!

Taglist: @crushed-pink-petals @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @fumbling-fanfics @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @nina-sj @itshinothey @wildfirecracker

If you want to be added to the taglist, have asked to be added and don’t see your name, or only want to be tagged for certain people I write for just let me know 🤓!

#chris evans #chrisxblackreader #chrisxwoc #chrisxreader

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inthewild-flowers · 4 years

Text

fic masterlist!

This is a masterlist of all my fics. Most of them can be found on AO3, although there is a Tumblr Drabble section at the end.

I’ll be updating this every time I post a new fic/finish posting a multi chapter fic. Enjoy!

Oneshots

Weak In The Knees

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Word Count: 575

Summary: Kind of just a whole lot of Wolfstar fluff. There's dancing involved.

Other: Maybe a muggle au?? I’m not entirely sure tbh, pretty cute if I do say so myself, the title comes from the Serena Ryder song weak in the knees.

Bright Yellow Ducks

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): James Potter/Lily Evans, background Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Word Count: 2114

Summary: Lily works at a corner store, and one day the Marauders walk in on a quest for ice cream.

Other: Muggle au, I’m pretty sure it was based on a post I saw but I wrote it a few years ago so I’m honestly not sure

Earth Angel

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Word Count: 674

Summary: I love fics where Remus is just an absolute angel, so here’s my version of that. Sirius has a crush on the cute guy who works at the bakery in his neighbourhood and finally get a chance to talk to him.

Other: Remus works at a bakery au, I wrote this after reading The London Underground Book Of Love by Children_of_the_Shadows on AO3 (absolutely would recommend, it’s amazing) and it’s probably one of my favourite fics I’ve written, the title is from the song Earth Angel by The Penguins

Gilderoy Lockhart Is A Dick (But His Dickery Has Some Interesting Consequences)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, background James Potter/Lily Evans

Word Count: 2699

Summary: When Remus finds out Gilderoy is cheating on him, the next thing he has to do is find out who he's cheating with. And if that person happens to be Sirius Black, well, Remus is okay with that. Based off of the joke me and my sister have about Legend of Korra: both of Mako's girlfriends leave him for each other.

Other: Muggle au, funny, crack fic, way more sex jokes than I usually write but it fits with the whole vibe of this fic

Text Me

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Word Count: 566

Summary: Written for girlwithacrown’s finish this fic challenge. My take on the second half of “Remus is a bookstore owner and Sirius comes in looking for a book during coronavirus lockdown” (might wanna read her first half tho lol).

Other: Here is @girlwithacrown ‘s first half of the fic, and here is her collection with the other fics that people wrote for their own versions of the second half!

Padfoot Won’t Leave

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Word Count: 2453

Summary: At the end of Harry's third year, Remus and Sirius have a plan to get Harry away from the Dursleys.

Other: crack fic, I tried my best to make it funny, someone sent a post to the wolf star games 2020 discord that said that there aren't enough “Sirius makes himself at home at the Dursley’s house because there’s nothing they can do to make him leave” fics and then we as a group decided to fix that. Here’s the collection of fics we wrote for it! :)

Rooftop Ramblings

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Aziraphale/Crowley

Word Count: 526

Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley share a cigarette on a rooftop, and wish that things could be different.

Other: pining, the whole plot is literally just pining, written for a dtiys based on this art by @whiteleyfoster

yoga (sirius’s way)

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus/Sirius

Word Count: 1043

Summary: Remus decides to start doing yoga to get some exercise during quarantine, and naturally, Sirius wants to try as well.

Other: Quarantine fic!!, domestic fluff, inspired by this art by @gaeilgelupin

two bros, going on a brocation, five feet apart cause they’re not gay

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus/Sirius

Word Count: 1927

Summary: In which Sirius takes Remus on a surprise Christmas vacation

Other: Christmas fic!!, so much fluff, :))

🎶 Remus is a swearwolf 🎶

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus/Sirius, James/Lily/Regulus

Word Count: 2694

Summary: Regulus sighed. “Come on, Sirius, let’s get you off this thing and then you’ll feel better.” They pried Sirius’s hands off the bar and helped him out of the rollercoaster, where he stood for a moment on shaky legs, clutching Regulus’s arm.“I’m going to get some mint chocolate,” he declared once his legs had regained some of their strength, “and then we’re going to the haunted house and I’m getting my revenge.”

Other: A sequel to ice ice baby by @pan-and-ready-to-stan, 90% banter, a LOT of swearing, fluff

would it kill you if we kissed

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus/Sirius

Word Count: 1741

Summary: Sirius leaned his head against the window and let his eyes flutter shut. Maybe if he slept, some of the horrible things would go away. Maybe if he slept, he would wake up to find that he was just on a normal road trip with one of his best friends. Maybe if he slept, he could forget the reason he was here at all.

Other: hurt/comfort, and also getting together!! bc I love get together fics :)

(i thought) i knew you

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus/Sirius

Word Count: 1432

Summary: Sometimes Sirius thinks that he might be okay. That maybe he’ll make it through this. He’s broken up with people before, hasn’t he? He’s been heartbroken before, and he’s always made it through. He’s survived so many things in his life that it seems silly that this would be the thing to break him.

Other: oh boy is there angst, that’s it that’s the fic just angst, there is a hopeful ending though??, there’s some super vague sort of references to self harm but it doesn’t like. happen

Got It

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus/Sirius

Word Count: 2859

Summary: Remus pushed down the butterflies in his stomach and accepted the vape when Sirius offered it, inhaling deeply and pointedly not thinking about how Sirius’s lips had been there just moments before. This was the closest Remus would ever get to kissing him. No, he told himself sternly, don’t think about that. It didn’t work. It never did.

Other: texting, fluff fluff fluffity fluff, getting together, written for marauders pride fanzine

in a cottage on a cliffside

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Word Count: 2865

Summary: “Are you cold?” Remus asked. “I’ve got another blanket somewhere…” he trailed off, looking at Sirius expectantly. Sirius shook his head.

“I’m fine.” he smiled again, then took another sip of his tea. He made the same face as before. It was adorable.

“Why are you here?” Remus asked. Sirius blinked at him.

“I wanted to see you.

Other: this was a birthday present for a friend, its fluff and a bit of pining and just generally soft :)) also a get together fic

The Year Remus Lupin Made Friends

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Word Count: 3546

Summary: James was sixteen years old, and it was summertime. Sirius and Pete were staying with him, Pete for a week, Sirius for the whole summer and hopefully every holiday after it too. James wanted to play quidditch, but the risk of being seen by muggles was too high, and his parents wouldn’t allow it. James was also very stubborn. His parents should have known to keep a closer eye on the boys, but some things can’t be helped. Here is what happened:

Other: written for a discord server secret santa. very marauders friendship focused, but also wolfstar at the end :))

In the dark and in the dusty sunlight

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Word Count: 1099

Summary: “I thought we were past such formalities, Lord Lupin.”“Indeed we are, Sirius, but it did feel right in the moment. You know,” Remus gave him an appraising look, and Sirius shivered, “you look rather like a painting, lying there like that.”“My dear Remus, we know very well that I am a work of art.”Remus laughed. “Yes, that has been well established.” He took off his hat and placed it on a table, then crossed over to the windows. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to the curtains.

yall its gay historical pining thats it thats the summary

Other: its just,,,, a period drama. thats it. I wrote a scene from a period drama just for the pining.

Multi Chapter Fics

Love At First Hot Chocolate

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, background James Potter/Lily Evans

Chapter/Word Count: 5 chapters, 5069 words

Summary: 18 year old Remus Lupin works at Starbucks. He hates it. He hates that he has to talk to people and be nice. He hates making coffee (although he doesn't mind the hot chocolate). But one day, Sirius Black walks in. For Remus, it's love at first sight. But does Sirius feel the same way?

Other: Muggle au, sort of a coffeeshop au in that they meet at a coffeeshop but otherwise it’s not it there much, fluff, might have been inspired by a post I saw a few years ago about Remus working at a coffeeshop and always getting Sirius’s name wrong?? But again, I wrote this a few years ago and don’t really remember lol

I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans

Chapter/Word count: 2 chapters, 1431 words

Summary: James is getting married, and Sirius worries that he won't get to see his best friend anymore. One night, he vents his feelings to a cute stranger at a pub, who happens to be in a similar situation.

Other: Muggle au, title from the Tom Waits song I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You

If You Want To Buy Me Flowers

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Chapter/Word Count: 3 chapters, 1499 words

Summary: Remus owns a flower shop. Sirius is breaking up with his boyfriend using flower language.

Other: Muggle au, Remus is a florist au, inspired by a post I saw about flower meanings, title from the song Two Princes by Spin Doctor

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Alice (I don’t know her last name)/Frank Longbottom

Chapter/Word Count: 16 chapters, 13,192 words

Summary: Ever since his first year at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin has been exchanging messages with someone on a bathroom stall. Neither of them know who the other one is, and now that they're graduating soon, they want to find out.

Other: Muggle au, modern au, Remus isn't part of the Marauders au, a bit of texting

Love Through The Ages

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, some vague background James Potter/Lily Evans

Chapter/Word Count: 4 chapters, 2213 words

Summary: Remus finds a love letter that Sirius wrote to him two centuries previously and never sent.

Other: They’re vampires au, I guess technically muggle au??, fluff, love letters, confessions, inspired by this post by @kayvsworld

“No, Sirius, tying the stems of flowers together will NOT make a flower crown”

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Chapter/Word Count: 4/4 chapters, 4247 words

Summary: In which Sirius can’t make a flower crown, Remus thinks Sirius might be flirting, and James has no clue what’s going on.

Other: so much fluff, oblivious James, inspired by this art that I love a lot by @girlwithacrown

Hogwarts, 1993

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (this may change, I don’t have the fic planned out at all, so it could end up with a G rating, but I’ve rated it T just to be safe)

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Chapter/Word Count: 7/? chapters, 7248 words as of October 4 2020

Summary: When Sirius escapes Azkaban and goes to Hogwarts, instead of lurking around as the Grim like a FOOL, he decides to seek help from an old friend.

Other: I don't have any warnings for this one yet, but I’ll put them in if necessary. I’ll be posting the chapters as I write them, and I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t take too long.

the doc was called halloween babeyy

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans

Chapter/Word Count: 6 chapters, 1240 words

Summary: a self indulgent halloween fic with pumpkin shenanigans, meet cutes, and texting.

“They’re battle scars,” Remus repeated. “And you can’t call him just ‘pumpkin’ anymore, his official title is the PumpKing and he requires it to be used at all times.” Remus finished carving out the last scar, and picked up the sharpie to draw the outline of a crown near the top of the pumpkin. One he was satisfied, he picked up his knife and started cutting along the lines.“In that case,” James said, “Mine’s the PumPeasant and he looks like this because of a childhood disease.”

Other: ‘tis all fluff :))

a very (in)effective seduction

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Chapter/Word Count: 10/? chapters, 9557 words

Summary: In which Sirius decides that it's time to seduce Moony. Yes, he has a list

Other: written for girlwithacrown and kidovna’s blissember chirstmas prompts! get together, fluff, etc.

Note: I will finish this eventually, but I was struggling a lot with writing it, so it may take some time. I do have it sort of planned out, and once I have the motivation to write it again it shouldn’t take too long to finish :))

dreaming of you

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, Dorcas Meadowes/Marlene McKinnon

Chapter/Word Count: 6/? chapters, 4932 words

Summary:

french bitch: I have arrived

french bitch: paris has gained a resident and he is magnificent

sweet sweet moony: paris is usually referred to as she

french bitch: HOW DARE

Jimmy: he does have a point tho

or: Sirius is in france on his study abroad year, remus is pining, and James and Peter are enjoying the chaos

Other: texting, fluff, theres eventually gonna be wolfstar and dorlene and either jily or jegulily I haven’t decided yet

You Hold The Key To My Heart

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans/Regulus Black

Chapter/Word Count: 38 chapters, 26 049 words

Summary: Sirius threw himself on his bed, not caring about how he must be wrinkling his clothes. In fact, he relished the idea. At least his parents would have a reason to be angry with him today. He stayed there, thinking about soft curls and a sweet face that he barely caught a glimpse of, until the sun was shining directly through his window and James arrived to help him dress for dinner.

Or, a victorian au in which Remus is a gardener, Sirius is a dramatic rich kid, and they fall in love.

Other: I wrote this for the 2020 wolfstar games. it’s mainly fluff, but I also got to indulge my love of historical things which was amazing :D

Series

Dan’s cute & short wolfstar fics with no plot that make them happy to write :)

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Number of works: 4

Complete: No

Works in the series:

Goodnight Moony - Remus doesn’t want to go to bed. Sirius thinks Remus should go to bed. 201 words.

Snow - It’s literally just Remus and Sirius enjoying the snow, that’s it, that’s the fic, please enjoy. 124 words.

I Just Called To Say I love You - Sirius calls Remus the night before a big exam. 174 words.

Lupin Can’t Sing - Please read the title to the tune of “lupin can’t sing, lupin can’t sing, lupin cannot sing!” from AVPS. Remus is drunk and trying really really hard at karaoke. 409 words.

Ruby Tuesday - Remus and Sirius cuddle and listen to Ruby Tuesday. It's very cute, if I do say so myself. 259 words.

HP Pride Month 2020!!

Rating: General Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, Lily Evans/James Potter

Number of works: 4

Complete: Yes

Other: All the fics in this series were written for @girlwithacrown ‘s HP pride month prompts, and you can find other fics written for those prompts in her collection on AO3!

Works in the series:

Coming Out - Remus and Sirius decide to tell their friends they're dating. 1035 words.

Flag - Sirius and James make unique additions to their pride flags, and at the pride parade they see two other people with matching flags. 1126 words.

Family - Sirius runs away from home. 898 words.

Healing - Remus's dog gets hurt, and the vet is way hotter than Remus was prepared for. Sirius may or may not have Ted from Schitt's Creek vibes. It was mostly unintentional. 1012 words.

Working Title: Summertime

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Ship(s): Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans

Number of Works: 2

Complete: No

Works in the series:

Forgiveness & Friendship - The summer after sixth year (and The Prank, you know which one. The one with Snape. And Remus.), Sirius shows up on James's doorstep. 13 chapters, 4437 words

Mischief & Matchmaking - The marauders (+ Lily) are spending a few weeks at James’s house, and oh boy is there a lot of sexual tension there. Peter decides to do something about it. Featuring: shenanigans and three separate tropes cause why not. 17/17 chapters and 6772 words.

dan?? writing angst?? it’s more likely than you’d think

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Ship(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Number of Works: 3

Complete: No

Works in the series:

stardust is easily lost - He kisses him because he loves him, because loving Sirius is a habit he’s never been able to break, not in school when he thought loving Sirius would kill him, and not now when he thinks that Sirius might kill them all. It keeps him up at night sometimes.

cascade - Teaching at Hogwarts is equal parts wonderful and miserable. He loves his students, but some days he looks at them and he sees himself, happy and carefree, with his best friends at his side. Those days are the hardest.

the death of a star - And sometimes, Sirius almost seems like his old self again. Sometimes, his mischievous grin that Remus remembers all too well will appear on his face, and he’ll lean over and whisper a snide comment in Remus’s ear, and Remus will have to try to stifle a laugh.

Other: yall this is angst, there is major character death, its A Lot, theyre also down in the Tumblr drabbles section & their titles are all variations of “angst babeyyy”

dan is a) yearning and b) obsessed with dorlene and bookstores

Rating: General Audiences and Teen and Up Audiences

Ship(s): Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes

Number of Works: 3

Complete: No

Works in the series:

1. Walking In a Winter Wonderland – As they skated, Marlene couldn’t take her eyes off of Dorcas. She knew that they were holding a conversation somehow or other––about Dorcas’s job at the bookstore, she was fairly certain––but her brain was on autopilot as she watched the lights dance across Dorcas’s face, lighting up the night like miniature stars.

2. adventures pertaining to love actually (and also shrek) – The woman shook her head solemnly, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You absolutely cannot.”They grinned at each other for a moment, then the woman’s eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall and she swore. “I’ve got to go. It was nice talking to you! And you’ll have to tell me what you think of that movie if you watch it!”“I will!” Dorcas called after her, and the woman waved as she hurried out the door.Well. She sure hoped that Love Actually was on Netflix. (note: this one is set before the first fic in the series)

3. it can't be hard to find a present right?? (wrong) – “What’cha got there?” Frank flopped into the chair beside Dorcas and took a sip of his coffee, eyeing the mess of yarn on her lap with curiosity.

“It’s not weird to make her a scarf, is it?”

“...to make who a scarf?”

“You know exactly who I’m talking about.”

Other: yeah im just being generally fluffy and self indulgent here, enjoy! :))

Tumblr Drabbles

“It’s three in the morning” - jegulus

“This is the opposite of what I told you to do!” - wolfstar

“Do you have a ride home?” - wolfstar

“Come cuddle” - wolfstar

“I am home” - dorlene

“I’m getting married? Since when were you choosing my future spouse?” - wolfstar

“Another bad date?” - jily

James and Remus being very very chaotic bros

24 hour diner au - wolfstar

they have the same favourite chair - wolfstar

Sirius loses Remus’s present (and James helps him look) – wolfstar

when she wears YOUR flannel shirt - dorlene

when you can’t choose just one snuggly blanket so you wrap up in all of them - the marauders

angst babeyyyyyyyyy - first war wolfstar

2 angst 2 babeyyyyyyyyy - poa wolfstar

angst babeyyyy 3.0 - ootp sorta wolfstar

high school/college minifest day 1: back to school - wolfstar

high school/college minifest day 2: detention - wolfstar

remus has whipped cream on his face and sirius canNOT handle it - wolfstar

hufflepuff remus who makes friends with the marauders - wolfstar

dorcas is hurt and marlene is taking care of her - dorlene

remus is a lil shit (back hugs prompt) - wolfstar

just friends booty shorts - James and sirius

night at the museum au - wolfstar and jily

#fic masterlist #wolfstar fics #jily fics #jegulily fics #dorlene fics #fic recs #James potter #lily evans #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #regulus black #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #marauders fic

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thevagueambition · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @antirococoreaction to talk about five male characters I love

(God, only five? However will I choose between my boys >_< ?!)

This is most certainly not going to be a literary as your offerings, lmao. When it comes to literary fiction I mostly like Kafka and Kafka, by the nature of his writing, writes thoroughly unlikable characters.

This got way too long bc I’m incapable of not gushing about my faves when given the chance lol

Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender

It is my enduring opinion that if you want to see a redemption arc done right, look at Zuko’s arc in The Last Airbender. He’s a scared, abused kid who managed to build up personal morals in a system that discouraged them, and was harshly punished for daring to voice them. He’s someone who always wanted to be good, but struggles with defining what good is, given that his culture and upbringing has taught him one thing, but his heart (and his uncle) tells him another, and his new experiences reinforces that. After he figures out what “good” looks like, he’s always held accountable for his past actions. He makes amends, and he accepts it, for the most part, when people aren’t ready to receive them. His anger issues, as well as how he sees himself as someone who had to be hardworking because he isn’t talented (however far from the truth that may or may not be in reality) are also aspects of him that appeal to me and indeed that I relate to.

Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

My love for Anakin is not dissimilar to my love for Zuko, though the quality of the writing in question certainly is. I love an edgy boy, is what I’m getting at, I guess :’D More seriously, Anakin’s story is ultimately one about control, which is a subject that interests me quite a bit. Anakin is never, at any point, really in control of his own life. He’s never really truly free. He’s born a slave, he joins the Jedi Order and he becomes Palpatine’s apprentice. He always exists within rigid systems of control, until his very lasts moments with Luke before he dies. With how Palpatine essentially groomed him, thinking of Anakin as equally a victim of Palpatine and a perpetuator of his (metaphorically speaking) abuse is also interesting to me. Certainly his clearly distorted thinking (eg convincing himself he can’t trust Obi-Wan, for instance) is also hugely important to his appeal to me. Also? He’s SO EXTRA I can’t with him lol

(That’s your LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM you turned off, Anakin!!! I know you’re depressed and dissociated and also The Drama but damn!!!!!!)

Nicodemus Ravens from The Shamer Chronicles (Skammerens børn)

The Shamer Chronicles is a series of Danish fantasy books for kids, and probably the most popular books of that type (particularly the first book, The Shamer’s Daughter). Nico is a major character, though never a POV one.

Nico was, essentially, abused by his father for not living up to the male gender role. He didn’t want to learn to use a sword, he didn’t want to kill, and his father hated him for it. As a result, he’s a teenage alcoholic and profoundly at war with himself. He constantly have other people telling him narratives about who he is/should be: first, he’s the younger son who should bring his father glory, then he’s the heir unfit for the throne, then he’s, depending on the political position of the character in question, either a monstrous murderer who must be killed by the glorious leader or the rightful heir to throne, a hero ready to bring war to his enemy and liberate his people, then rule them in benevolence.

Nico doesn’t want to be any of those things. He knows who he is, is stubborn about it, but also can’t shake the belief that his relative pacifism is really just cowardice. I’m just going to quote one of my favourite scenes here (forgive the translation, it’s my own, I don’t have the official one at hand):

“[...] They want a hero, I think.”

“Is that so bad? It’s better than being a monster, at any rate.”

“You think? Have you noticed how often heroes die in battle? Of course everyone mourns them afterwards and write beautiful ballads about them, but the heroes remain dead. Stone-dead. And I’m in no hurry to get on my white steed and start slaughtering people until someone better or luckier than I sticks a sword in me. No, thank you.”

He looked both obstinate and shameful, as if he thought he really should get on his white steed and all of that. I could understand why he didn’t want to die, and yet… Well, I think I’d always expected him to return to the Lowlands to fight Drakan at some point.

“What do you want, then?” [...]

“I just want to be me,” he whispered. “Is that so terrible? I just want to be Nico and not a lot of other people’s hero or monster.”

Anyway there are Two Crimes when it comes to Nico: the fact he isn’t gay in canon and how so many adaptations turns him into the Generic Fantasy Hero he’s a very conscious subversion of in the books (the other principle male character is essentially someone who’s hurt by toxic masculinity as someone who buys into it, while Nico ofc is hurt by it because he doesn’t/can’t, so the series certainly had an opinion about it).

Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter

Dumbledore is, to me, someone who chose what was good for the world over his own happiness. He chose to be the one to dirty his hands, the one two make the terrible decisions, do the terrible things, that were necessary in the battle against facism. There is something very brave and admirable about that to me. It’s not that he never did anything wrong, he certainly did, but again, I think he was very aware of the terrible things he was doing, and part of the reason he keeps everything so close to his chest is because he doesn’t want anyone else to have to make those decisions, to have to feel that blood stain their hands. Dumbledore loves the people in his care profoundly, he loves Harry profoundly. And it kills him to have, as Snape puts it, “brought him up like a pig for slaughter”.

Whether something is morally justified and whether it’s necessary to prevent evil are two different questions, and I don’t think Dumbledore feels particularly justified, but I do think he does what he perceives to be necessary to prevent facism. And hates himself for the decisions he takes along the way. And all of that comes back to, to some extent, his survivor’s guilt over the death of Arianna and the profound wake up call that was Grindelwald 1) turning on his family 2) being a very violent fascist, rather than just a theoretical one like teenage!Dumbledore was. In his mind, Dumbledore is already condemned for what happened when he was 18, so it’s better that it be he who takes the terrible things upon himself than an “innocent.” It’s better that he try to atone. Dumbledore is working towards a redemption he never (to his mind) arrives at.

In regards to his sexuality, Dumbledore was certainly written with the trope of a “tragic old closeted gay” in mind, but of course JKR never made anything much canon aside from his “flamboyant” sense of style (that the movies have ROBBED us of >:( ) and hobbies, so to a certain extent, I get to ignore that homophobic intent. In the books themselves, the only thing you can really read between the lines is that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald, not whether it was 1) reciprocated 2) acted upon, so with only the canon, we also get to mitigate some of the Implications of “Dumbledore dated Wizard Hitler for a while”....

I mean I do Love Mess(tm) so Dumbledore having that terrible wake up call is certainly also part of the appeal for me. Personally I enjoy the interpretation that Grindelwald deliberately manipulated Dumbledore’s feelings.

Captain Flint/James McGraw from Black Sails

BE GAY DO CRIME BE GAY DO CRIME BE GAY DO CRIME BE-- *coughs*

As you might guess from my description of Dumbledore, a lot of the reasons I love Flint are similar to why I love Dumbledore (and Solas, but we won’t go in to Solas rn lol). Flint is also someone who chooses to do the terrible, necessary things, who chooses the fight over his personal moral cleanliness. In a more obvious and extreme way than Dumbledore, certainly, but the principle is essentially the same. Of course, Flint’s fight is personal in a completely different way from how Dumbledore’s is. Flint’s fight is simoultaneously his revenge, a fight against the corrupt system that ruined his life and a fight for something better. Dumbledore is defensive, Flint is offensive.

The self-integrity he has is truly amazing. He’s cast aside by everyone but Miranda, and yet he never starts thinking he has anything to apologise for. To ask for a pardon would be to ask for forgiveness, and he doesn’t think he needs to be forgiven. Not for loving Thomas, not for anything he did while he was still English. He perceives the reality of the situation, he sees what is right and what is wrong, and he knows that he is the wronged party. He stares at the behemoth of the entire social structure of his world and says: No. You move. I am not in the wrong. England should apologise to me.

Flint is my angry gay dad and I love him.

I tag (as always, completely optional ^^ ): @teddy-stonehill @thebearmuse @andvaka @solitarelee @gallifreyanathearts @sinni-ok-sessi @melle93 @papanden @seimsisk

I feel a bit dishonest leaving Grantaire off of this list, lmao, but I talk about him enough as it is.

Other honorables mentions go to: Enjolras (Les Mis), Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who/Torchwood), Solas (Dragon Age), Fitzwilliam Darcy (Pride and Prejudice), Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium), Harry Potter, Remus Lupin (Harry Potter) and my soap boys Robert Sugden (Emmerdale), Richard “Ringo” Beckmann (Unter Uns) and Ben Mitchell (Eastenders).

#someone: like a none edgy boy me: a what now #not that nico is that edgy #btw if i had been the type to name myself after fictional characters it would have 100% been nico #the movie adaptation does not deserve rights #also re dumbledore jkr is like ''he turned into a bit of a celibate after grindelwald'' and i'm like nah NAH fuck off #siggi rambles #tag meme #my meta

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i-dontwikeit · 5 years

Text

Making it okay.

A/N : Oh my God I was a mess for the last month(s) LOL and I didn’t write anything, I had no inspiration and work was crazy and I literally wasn’t even on tumblr for like weeks and more and thanks to my lovely girl @dayanacvm and her request I did it! It took me like a month but I did it!! I hope you like it!!

Fandom : Marvel ( MCU )

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Stark!reader

Warnings : it’s kinda angsty, maybe some swearing (?)

Word count : this is long, like 5k words long. SORRY

Bucky absolutely loved his '' new '' life. He loved living in the Tower, and opposed to what all of them believed, he loved having people around him. It all made him feel normal. He loved waking up every morning knowing there will be someone in the kitchen making food. He even loved cooking. He loved the feeling of safeness, happiness.

It took a while for everyone to get used to Bucky living there. It took a while for them to accept him as one of their own. Tony took the longest. Buck did everything to try and prove him that he isn’t The Winter Soldier anymore, he was just James Barnes, a guy whose life got stolen and who wants a normal life back.

But there was one person who immediately accepted Bucky, not counting Steve, of course. Y/N. She was a special one, Bucky knew. She was lovely, she was calm, she was accepting. She was so understanding and so, so good. And she was a Stark. Tonys’ kid. And God dammit, Buck hated her. He didn’t know why, because when he would look at her she was everything he could ever want in a person. But she was also everything he could never had.

And she would always take care of him. She would always make sure he was okay, always took care of him after his nightmares, always saved a place for him on the couch.

Bucky hated that. To him, it was always pity. It was always her being scared of making him angry or sad in any way. He didn’t ever see it as her being a friend, he saw it as him being her charity case. And he hated it, he hated her and the way she spoke to him. He hated her and the way she smiled at him. He hated her and the way she said his name. He hated her and the way he cared when he wasn’t supposed to care.

Bucky always noticed how Y/N would lit up the room when she came in and he hated it. But he never noticed how she would lit up only if he was in the room. He would always notice how she would smile so lovely and he hated it. But he never noticed how she would smile just a bit more than usual to him than to anyone else.

Bucky Barnes never lets his guard down. And his guard is especially up around Y/N. Because he knows she would never, ever care about him, so he doesn’t care about her either. It was easier to hate her than bring danger her way, so he started to act that way. And soon enough, he made himself believe he hated her.

Soon enough, he didn’t notice her coming into the room and soon enough he didn’t notice her smile being the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

But just like that, he didn’t notice her smiling less, her shining less, her laughing less. And he didn’t notice how she would do her best to still be nice to him.

Bucky would come into the kitchen in the morning and Y/N would give him her biggest smile and he hated her for that.

“ Morning Bucky. “ her voice filled the room “ Do you want some pancakes? I’m making some. “ she asked, she would always ask.

“ Can you please call me James? “ he hated how beautifully his nickname would roll of her tongue. “ And no, I’m not hungry. “

“ Okay B.. James. Sorry to bother you. “ she said, her voice laced with hurt and sadness just like every time they came into contact.

Y/N heard laughing in the living room and went to see who was having such a good time. When she stumbled into the room with Bucky and Nat sitting on the couch, very close to each other, laughing, her heart stung a bit.

“ Oh.. Sorry. Didn’t want to bother you. “ Y/N said, her voice quiet, looking at the floor.

“ It’s forgiven. “ Bucky said, his voice cold, him looking at the TV. Nat kicked him with his elbow and gave him a very puzzled look. She had no idea why the hell was he acting like this.

“ Wanna join us, beautiful? “ Nat asked, giving Y/N a heart whelming smile.

She just shook her head. “ No, you two enjoy. I have work to do. “ she waved them goodbye and barely held her tears in this time.

Y/N really didn’t know what she did to Bucky. She was always so, so nice to him. She wanted to make him feel comfortable, loved, safe. She wanted him to know he has friends here and that he can count on her always, no matter what. She gave him the best she had and he always threw it away like it was nothing. And it hurt, of course it hurt. Especially considering the feelings she had for him. She knew how good he actually was. She knew he was just a broken boy whose life was taken away and she wanted to give him that life back. “ I guess I’m just not enough. “ she thought, lied down in her bed and cried, like almost every day.

Back in the room Nat yelled at Bucky.

“ What the hell , Buck? It’s forgiven? “

“ What? It was forgiven. “ he shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on the tv.

“ I have no idea why are you being such a dick but get yourself together or I will kick your ass. “ and with that Nat left the room, leaving Bucky alone, again, to think about Y/N, again.

He knew how idiotic his behavior was and how mean he turned out to be. He didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore, especially not someone as good and precious as you and that was all he was doing, but it was for the best.

After a few days, Y/N decided to find Steve and talk to him. Months and months of trying to make Bucky warm up to her took a toll on her and she wasn’t herself anymore. She needed out. She found him in his room. His doors were open and she came in.

“ Hey, Stevie. “ she smiled and leaned in for a hug. Steve was a hugger, and so was she. They personalities were so similar and they were best friends.

“ Hey there, precious. You need anything or did you just come to see me? “

“ Um.. I actually wanted to talk to you. “ Steve noticed how she was playing with her fingers and immediately knew something was off.

“ Sure thing. What is it? Everything okay? “ he sat down on his bed and patted a spot next to him. Y/N sat down.

“ Yeah.. No. I want out, Steve. “ saying that out loud was painful. “ You need to move me somewhere else for a while. I can’t be here “

Steve panicked. He could never let her go, and Tony would never allow that either.

“ Look, precious. I know your dad isn’t letting you go on missions and all of that but it’s because you’re his kid and he loves you. You are amazing at organizing them and I swear all of our missions would fail without you. “

Y/N chuckled a bit. “ It’s not that, Stevie. I don’t want to go on missions, I appreciate my life. I just. I can’t be here anymore, okay? “

“ But why? I don’t get it. Family is here. Why don’t you want to be here? “ Steve asked, both puzzled and concerned.

“ I.. I’m not enough. I get that and I get that B.. that James won’t look at me the way I look at him but he is constantly mean to me and treating me like I’m nothing and it’s draining my energy. I’m not happy here and I need out. If you won’t transfer me, I’ll quit and leave. “

Y/Ns voice stern and her determination to leave made Steve realized that she was on the edge and couldn’t take it anymore. Steve knew she was so soft, so good and so easily hurt.

“ Okay. I’ll see what I can do, yeah? I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see what I can do. “

“ Thank you. I love you. “ she said, cuddling into him.

“ I love you too, precious. “

And the next day Steve came and gave her the papers. She was leaving in a week.

A few days later Y/N found Bucky in the living room again, screaming at the TV. ‘ Maybe one more chance ‘ she thought. ‘ maybe we can make it okay. ‘

“ Hey James. Is everything okay? “ she asked him, giving him a soft smile.

“ No. Yes. Everything is fine but I can’t make the TV work, again. “

“ Come on, let me show you. “ she offered.

“ No, I can do it myself. “ his word coming out harsher than he intended

“ Why are you so stubborn? Let me help you. “

“ I don’t need or want your help, Y/N. Don’t you get it? I’m not stupid. I don’t want you to help me. I don’t need it and I don’t need you. “ shit. He didn’t mean it and he didn’t mean to be so awful but he was angry and annoyed and now he heard a little sob coming from her and when he looked at her she looked like she was about to cry and it broke his heart. “ Y/N.. I. I didn’t.. “

“ No, it’s okay. “ she cut him off before he could say anything else and left the room.

She went to her room, locked the door and started crying. She just kept packing her things and sobbing the whole time and she knew it was her time to leave, no matter what.

This time, Tony heard the fight and just marched into the living room. He looked at Bucky, grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him into a wall.

“ WHAT THE FUCK, TONY? “ Bucky screamed.

Tony already had his nanotech on his arms, grabbing Bucky by the neck and holding him up.

“ You know what, you prick? That’s my girl you ‘ don’t need ’. That’s my kid and this is my home and you don’t get to be a dick. Not to her, ever. “ Tony said, wanting to scream but holding himself together. Steve came into the room and had no idea what was going on.

“ Tony, stop! “ Steve screamed, but Tony didn’t listen, he just turned back to Bucky.

“ She is the best fucking person here and probably in the whole world, not saying that because she is mine but because she really is and you know that. Steve knows it. Everybody knows it. So I have NO IDEA why are you acting like that. SHE IS NOT ME. SHE ISN’T A TIPICAL STARK AND YOU KNOW IT. I maybe wouldn’t say anything if she was like me but she isn’t. She is good and precious. This is my house, Barnes, and that is my kid. You know I made everything you did disappear. I can make it come back. I hear her cry one more time because of you, I’ll make your life a living hell. “

“ She.. she cries because of me? “ Bucky asked, his heart dropping.

“ Yes. Pretty much every night, pal. “ Steve cut in, letting Tony to calm down a bit.

“ I didn’t.. I didn’t know, Steve. “ he said, almost sobbing. “ I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt her. I.. Tony.. I’m pretty sure I love her. But.. I know I can’t. I shouldn’t. If I love her, she’s in danger. HYDRA… They’ll come after me and they’ll come after her and we are all vulnerable if that happens. “ he was now fully crying, Steve sitting next to him with his hand on his shoulder. “ I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt her but it was the only way. “

“ She’s made out of pure gold, Barnes. You better treat her like that when she comes back. “ Tony said and left the room.

“ When she comes back? “ Bucky asked, confused.

“ Yeah.. She’s leaving, Buck. Not sure for how long. She asked for a transfer. She said she couldn’t be here anymore, it was draining her. “ Bucky looked at Steve not knowing what to say. “ I’m sorry Buck. She’ll come back. You’ll make it okay. “

“ Yeah.. I hope so, Steve. I really hope so. “

Y/N left in a hurry, said her goodbyes to everyone but Bucky. He knew he deserved it but he would be lying if he would say that it didn’t hurt. He realized then, that’s how she felt every time he would talk to everyone but her.

During month one and two, Y/N was really happy with herself. She loved being in London. They needed someone to organize everything since their boss left on an undercover mission and they couldn’t find anyone who was capable enough and when she asked for a transfer it was like a blessing for them. She took all of the chores on herself. It took her a while to get everything in order and she loved burying herself in her job. It took her mind off of everything.

During month three, she started missing all of them. Mostly Tony and Steve. There was no coffee on the table in the morning and no pancakes on Sunday.

During month four, Y/N realized that this place was not for her. She was very affectionate person, cuddly, happy. She loved people and being around them and well.. People around here were very professional. She knew they were the best, after her own team back home, but there was no home-y feeling while she was there. And she missed that.

During month five, Y/N really started to miss the sound of laughter. She could always hear someone laughing back home, mostly Sam or Clint. There would always be some kind of noise and during her time in London she realized she hated silence.

During month six, all Y/N could think about was Buckys’ grumpy face. She missed seeing him around. She realized that even thought he never really spoke to her more than a couple of words, and when he did he was mean, his presence was always so happy and light and lovely and she got used to that. He got a special aura around him. And she knew she had to get back home. Her six months contract was almost over and no matter how good these people were, they weren’t her people.

During month one, Bucky wouldn’t even come close to Y/Ns’ room. He felt like it wasn’t okay and he felt like he was invading her personal space. When she was home, he would always try and walk past her room. Now, he did everything he could just to not be close.

During month two, he started to spend a bit of time there. He would study how her room was decorated. It was full of books, cd and records. He didn’t really knew her. ‘ I spent all of the time trying to hate her instead of trying to get to know her. ‘ he would think.

During month three and four, he spent most of his time watching her favourite movies and TV shows. It took him about a month to watch all Supernatural episodes and he definitely saw why she loved it. She had a good taste.

During month five, Bucky listened to all of her CDs and records. Y/N would always surprise him. He never took her for rock kind of gal but apparently she loved AC/DC and her favourite band was Guns ‘n’ Roses.

During month six, Bucky read almost all of Y/Ns’ book. She had quite a big collection and he never knew how much she loved fantasy. She even left little notes and highlighted her favourite quotes and he fell in love with her little habits.

Bucky didn’t know how long he could take this anymore. Not having her around made him feel empty. He never gave her what she deserved but her presence gave him everything he ever needed. So when he heard Steve and Tony talking about her coming home soon, he felt.. happy. He felt lucky enough because he will get another chance at making it okay.

When Y/N came back after spending six months on the other side of the ocean, she finally felt like she could breathe. Even tho she enjoyed working with people in London it just didn’t feel right. It wasn’t home. They weren’t home. And when she finally came near the Tower it was all it took for her to break. And she had no idea why.

When Tony saw his little girl cry he thought she didn’t want to be back. It broke his heart but he immediately knew that if he had to let her go back, he would. Everything for her to be happy. So he came, sat down on the ground next to her and hugged her. They sat there for a while like that before Tony started speaking.

“ Hey precious. I missed you. “

“ I missed you too, dad. “ Tony hugged her a little bit harder

“ Why are you crying? Do you… Do you want to go back? “ Tony asked, praying that she will say no.

“ What? No, dad. I don’t know why I’m crying.. but it’s good to be home, I promise. “

“ Pinky promise? “ Tony asked and they both laughed. When Y/N was little, every one of her promises had to be a pinky promise.

“ Pinky promise, dad. “

“ Wanna go inside, precious? “

“ Yeah. I’ll take my stuff up and go to my room. I’ll come down later, I hope. I’m really tired. “

What Y/N hoped for was a nice, warm shower and a couple hours of sleep when she gets to her room. What she got was Bucky sitting on her bed, headphones in his ears and a book in his hands. She called his name a couple of times and when he didn’t even budge, she tapped his shoulder.

Bucky jumped, not expecting anyone to be here and to bother him. Y/N was laughing and it made his heart flutter. She was finally here.

“ You startled me. “ Bucky simply said. “ You came back? “

“ Yeah. Is this still my room James, or? “ she gave Bucky a puzzled look, not sure what was happening.

“ Bucky. “ he said

“ What? “

“ Please, call me Bucky. “

“ Um.. But.. I.. You told me to call you James? “ she asked, even more confused. She had no idea why he was nice, or why was he in her room.

“ I know. I’m sorry. Can you please call me Bucky? “ he looked like a lost puppy looking at her and God dammit there was no way she could say no when he was looking her like that.

“ Yeah… Is Buck okay? “ he nodded at her question. “ Um.. What are you doing in my room? I just came back, wanted to take a shower and sleep. Is this still my room?? “

“ Oh, sorry! I forgot. I am on the last 50 pages of Deathly Hollows 2. I’ll just leave the book here and buy my own. Sorry. “

“ No, no! Take it.. You can finish it. I didn’t know you like to read. “

“ Neither did I.. I kinda read all of your books.. “ Bucky said, a little bit shy. It just hit him that it could look a bit weird to Y/N that he spent his time in her room.

“ Woah, James. “ he cleared his throat before she could say anything else. “ Buck, sorry. It’ll take some time to get used to. “

“ I know.. I’m sorry, I really am. I’m gonna let you take a shower and sleep and maybe we can talk later? Please? “

“ Of course.. You can take the book with you.. See you, Buck. “

He came closer to her and almost kissed her cheek. His lips ghosted over her skin and it made both of them feel like teenagers again.

Next morning, Bucky came down to the kitchen, made pancakes and coffee. He was humming quietly but everyone noticed how happier he looks and just kept quiet about it. He took a couple of pancakes and a cup of coffee and left.

“ Where is he going? “ Nat asked.

“ I have no idea. Maybe to his room? “ Steve told her, not knowing what was happening. Nat just shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat her food.

Where Bucky went was actually Y/Ns’ room. He made her breakfast and coffee and he hoped that maybe they could talk about everything. He knocked at her door and heard a lovely voice coming from the inside.

“ Come in, it’s open. “

Bucky opened the door and smiled at the sight in front of him. Y/N was in, what he assumed was, her pajamas and her hair was a mess and she looked like art.

“ It’s me, doll. I brought you pancakes and coffee. “ Bucky smiled at her and Y/N swore she never saw him smile like that to her nor did she ever saw such a beautiful smile.

“ Thank you, Buck.. But.. why? “ she was still confused. Six months ago, before she left, he hated her and now he was acting strange and it made her worry.

“ I.. A peace offering? I know it won’t cut it but maybe it’s a start? If you’re willing to give me a chance? “

“ This is weird, James. Just tell me what is happening? “

“ Bucky.. I told you to call me Bucky, doll. “

“ Yes, but you told me to call you James a couple of times before and showed me how much you hated me so.. Please, just tell me. “

“ Look.. I know this is confusing. I never, ever hated you, I promise. “ but before he continued she stopped him.

“Pinky promise? “ and they both laughed a bit.

“ Yeah doll, pinky promise. When Steve brought me, you were the first one to not just accept me, but to care for me. You were a ray of sunshine peeking through my clouds and I didn’t know how to handle it. Soon enough I started to think you’re doing it out of pity and I started to hate you for that. “ he said, took a deep breath and continued to speak. “ You never deserved the way I treated you. I’m sorry. It’s hard for me to even say all of this but I know I have to. You deserve the world and I want to give you that but I know I can’t. “ Bucky tried to say all of that fast and he started to hyperventilate and he knew a panic attack was about to happen but she came close to him and put her hand on his and he felt safe and happy and calm in a matter of seconds.

“ Slow down, Buck. Breathe. You okay? “ he nodded. “ Thank you for apologizing. You really hurt me, repeatedly, I’m not gonna lie. I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to maybe be even more but you would never let me close to you. I get that you can’t look at me that way but you didn’t even let me be your friend. “ she didn’t get to finish what she was saying before Bucky interrupted her.

“ Wait, what? What did you just say? “

“ What did I just say, Bucky? “

“ You wanted more? “

“ I.. Yes? I thought it was obvious? Nat would always poke fun at me because of that? “ Y/N was utterly confused by his ignorance.

“ I.. Doll. I didn’t know. I thought you acted that way because I was your charity case. I thought you just pitied me. “

“ Never. I’m not that kind of a girl, Bucky. “

“ I’m so, so sorry. I never thought.. Someone like you could never care about me. “

“ You don’t really know me at all. “ she sounded offended.

“ I spent all of my time trying to hate you instead trying to get to know you. “ Bucky said the words that were running around his head ever since she left. “ I’m sorry. I cared for you since day one and I knew I shouldn’t. First of all, you’re Tonys’ daughter. Second, I knew if I cared, you’re in danger and I could never do that to you. “

“ So you just kept treating me like trash instead talking to me? “

“ Yes. “

“ That’s .. idiotic. “

“ I know. I’m sorry. I know it’s not a lot but please can we please start from the beginning? Can I get to know you, doll? Give me a chance to make it okay. “

“ You can take me out for coffee today. “

“ Okay. That’s good, yeah. Around 5? “

“ Sure. “ she nodded. “ Thank you for bringing me breakfast. “

“ Making. “

“ Oh.. Thank you for making me breakfast, then. “

“ Anything for you, doll. I’m gonna go now.. See you.. Um see you later? “ his sudden nervousness made Y/N chuckle.

“ Yeah, Buck. See ya. “

So Bucky took Y/N for coffee that day. And the day after that and every day for the next month. They visited pretty much every coffee shop near them and they talked about pretty much every single thing they could. And Bucky finally had the chance to get to know Y/N. She loved dogs and she loved snakes which was such a weird thing. She loved old music and she loved fantasy. She still believed that you can have a happy end. She loved helping people, she would always put everyone else first. He got to know how caring, loving and selfless Y/N really was.

And Bucky showed Y/N the real him. She got to know how he just wanted to have life as normal as he could. He wanted kids one day, a big backyard and a couple of dogs. He wanted to do good, he wanted to redeem himself for everything bad he did in his life.

One day they didn’t get coffee so he went up to her room with a cup of her favorite coffee and a couple of cupcakes. He knocked, she told him to come in.

“ Hey doll. “ Bucky have her his loveliest smile, like he always tried to. It still felt wrong to love her, sometimes.

“ Hey there. “ she winked. “ What ya got for me there? “

“ Brought you your favourite coffee and cupcakes. “

“ God, you’re amazing. “

They both laughed. Y/N took her coffee and cupcakes and sat on her couch. She tapped spot next to her and Bucky came and sat down next to her. She took a sip of her coffee and a bite of her cupcake and gave him one, too.

“ So, doll.. “ He seemed nervous and Y/N noticed that.

“ What’s wrong, honey? “

“ I.. Can I talk to you? “

“ You can always talk to me. “ the smile she gave him made his heart skip a bit and made him determined to tell her how he felt.

“ I know.. Look. Hanging out with you was amazing and you are so amazing and I love spending my time with you, but.. “

“ Oh. “

“ What? “

“ You’re gonna tell me that you don’t want to spend your time with me anymore, aren’t you? “ she asked him, looking down at the floor and playing with her fingers like always when she was nervous.

“ What? Doll, no. Pinky promise, that’s not what I’m gonna say. “

“ It’s not? “

“ No.. I wanted to ask you if you would like to go out with me. “

“ But we go out all the time? “

“ On a date, doll. “

“ OH, that. “ it was so unexpected for her. She knew he told her he cared for her before but she thought he looked at her only as a friend since they started hanging out.

“ I’m sorry for putting you in awkward situation. Can we forget that this happened? “ he asked her, thinking she doesn’t like him like that. He got up and almost walked out the door.

“ Buck, wait. “

“ What? “

“ Yes. “

“ What? “

“ Yes, I would like to go out with you. “

“ For real? “

“ For real, Buck. “

“ I.. I didn’t expect that. I don’t know what to do now. “

They both laughed. She got up from the bed and walked over next to him. And hugged him.

“ Doll.. “

“ Yes? “

“ Can I.. um.. “

“ Yes. “

And when Bucky kissed Y/N, it felt like that was everything they were missing in life. It felt like the missing piece of the puzzle was finally in its’ place. It felt like home and like happiness and a lot like love.

“ Bucky? “

“ Yeah, doll ? “

“ Now you plan a date. “