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wowzah2nd · 2 months

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A Not So Secret Relationship

Severus Snape x reader

Word count: 2k

after years of a not so secret relationship a student catches then sharing a loving kiss. Which cause rumours to spiral around the school, whats going on with professor Snape and professor L/N?

You had been working at hogwarts since you were 20 which was the youngest the school had seen to teach muggle studies since you were muggleborn. 2 years later your dear friend severus snape joined you to teach as well but was offered potion professor and not defence against the dark arts professor. Even though you were very different, you being a gryffindor and him being a slytherin you got along very well. You actually didn’t become friends till both your last years at Hogwarts. You always saw him alone or being bullied by the same gryffindor as James Potter, Sirius black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew also called the marauders and one day you decided to stand up for him seeing how cruel it was.

Flashback

It was a normal day at Hogwarts. You were walking around the hall when you heard a commotion coming from around the corner. You'd decided to take a peak and see what was happening and you could see the marauders bullying someone and hanging him upside down. As soon as you saw that you made a run for it towards James who was the one casting the spell as you went near him you pushed him to lose focus luckily the boy wasn’t too high up when he fell.

Y/N: what is wrong with you lot doing that to someone that is just cruel and mean

James: well he deserved it y/n you know what he called lilly, he called her a mudblood

I paused for a second looking between them the boy was no sat against the wall but i still thought what he did was cruel

Y/N: still doesn't give you the right to treat someone so cruelly, if he did say something like then your the one that's supposed to be better and not do things so idiotic you head boy after all lead my example

The group stared at me in surprised that i would defend a slytherin

James: come on boy let's get out of here

Before they were fully out of ear shot i heard them call me a traitor to my house but i didn't care no one deserved such cruel treatment

As soon as I couldn't see them I turned to the boy that got bullied. He was a little hurt getting a scratch on his head from being dropped. Which was my fault, maybe I should have made me put him down slowly instead of pushing him. I crouched down to his level grabbing my handkerchief from my school bag to wipe the little blood on his head

As i was wiping his head he decided to finally speak

Boy: their telling the truth you know

Y/N:I know

He finally looked at me and look surprised

Boy: then why did you help me aren’t you a muggleborn too

I gave out a long sigh

Y/N: I am, but no one ever deserves to be treated less than anything human also how did you know i was a muggleborn

Boy: i was friends with lily before i called that name and she mentioned you a couple times

Y/N: oh did she now i didn’t really think we were friends we barely talk

Boy: yeah she talks about how smart and nice you were apparently you helped her out a few time and she felt grateful for. You are really nice by the way

I giggle at his comment it seemed he was shy when saying it

Y/N: well thank you…

Severus: snape, Severus Snape

Y/N: well snape, can i call you severus instead

Severus: only my friends call me that

I gave him a big smile

Y/N: well wanna be friends then

It took awhile to get him to agree to being friends but it was a great friendship even if people thought it was weird me being friends with him but i never let it bother me and over time i started to develop feelings for him but never got to tell him at school

Flashback ended

It had been 2 years since I graduated and I had become a muggle studies teacher here after Dumbledore gave me the offer and I gladly accepted . another year passed when a new teacher can when i found out it was severus when i saw him in the staff room i ran to him and gave him a big hug.

He was a bit taken aback from the hug and luckily no one else was in the staff room to see

Y/N: i miss you so much severus why did you ever write me

I started to let out all my suppressed emotions that i didn’t realise i was holding in. he let out a sigh before speaking

Severus: I had my reasons that i can’t tell you just yet but i will say that i have missed you too and i was actually scared yo see you

Y/N: why were you scared to see me

Severus: well that because… i wanted to confess something to you..

I was looking hopeful at him now had he been feeling the same way about me like i have about him

Severus: i have liked you for so long and every day that ive thought about you that feeling has grown and developed into love. Even though its been years since i last saw you i finally realised that i love you and wanna be with you. So if youd allows me can i take you in a date

I immediately jumped him and gave him a bear crushing hug

Y/N: of course severus you can and i love you too i loved you every since we started to be friends

He gave out a sigh of relief at my answer

Severus: you have no idea how happy i am right now

Ever since that day you have started to date everyone knew but ever brought it up since it wasn’t their business but what they saw warmed their heart. Seeing the one cold and withdrawn severus actually turn happy when you walked into a room or were in the area. But of course he still tried to hid that side of it since they thought only you deserved to see that side of him but he could not always hide it. Few years later after dating you'd gotten married it was a big ceremony it was a small one of just you and him just how you always wanted

And that now brings us to the year 1993 10 years after being married you still loved teaching at that school mainly because you also wanted to be close to Severus and he never complained. But only complained about harry potter it was the boys third year and as alway severus did really like him since he was a reminder of his youth and i would never blame him

Y/N: hello severus how are you this morning my love

I made my way into in classroom due to not seeing him during breakfast

Severus: not so good if im honest

I placed down a small plate of food he can eat since i know he didnt grab anything before heading back to the classroom

Y/N: and why is that love

Severus: well it’s because i'm teaching potters class

I let out a sigh

Y/N: you know he’s not his father right so please cut the boy a little bit of slack and the rest of the kids they have me later in the day and they still complain

Severus: i know his not his father but he remind me so much like him

Y/N: he won’t be like him the school will teach him better

Severus let out a sigh before grabbing my hand to say come sit with me, so i sit on his lap as we continue our conversation

Severus: your right, but i still won’t go easy on him or the student they need to learn one wrong move they’ll all end up like mister finnigan

I giggle at all the memories i had over the years that id seen the boy come in my class with missing eyebrows

Y/N: give the poor boy some slack he’s not very good at potions it's a hard subject for him

Severus: your beautiful when you smile you know…also i'll never stop loving you laugh it just brings be joy every time

At those comments i started to blush

Y/N: severus stop you're embarrassing me

Severus: i'm just trying to tell my dear wife how much i think she's beautiful and how much i love her presence

Y/N: well Mr snape i love you too

Severus: well Mrs snape i love you more

He cupped my cheek before he leaned in for a long passionate kiss, but without realising it students had filed into the class a a few had saw that kiss both. One of the student decided to get our attention and we both broke away from the kiss in surprise

Student: u-um excuse us professors

Y/N; o-oh im so sorry i should let you teach severus

I got up from his lap and made my way out of the class

Y/N: bye severus see you later

That potion class was a even bad one for those students since any student who tried to ask about what they saw would question it

After morning classes it was lunchtime and whispers and rumours already spread around the school about Severus and you. Causing severus to be annoyed he hated when people talked about you but it made you giggle more than anything since the amount of theories people thought of

Class had resumed and you had the third years first and you knew they were gonna ask questions but you didn;t mind telling them the truth it really surprised you though not more people new about you and severus marriage you neve had your affection but severus did always acted indifferent to it but you knew deep down he loved and didn't want people to see

As everyone was making their way into class you could sense they had questions but decided to ask later. As the class went one you decided that taking a 10 min break would be good for them since that class can be boring

Y/N: okay that's enough for now let's take a 10 min break ok

After saying that it was a que for students to start asking questions

Y/N: yes mister Weasley

Ron: is it true what they’re saying

Y/N: you'll need to be specific mister weasley

He looked a bit nervous to ask the question but the whole class was looking at him to ask it. Seems like everyone else wanted to know to

Ron: is it true you kissed professor snape i hear from some slytherin’s who went into the classroom they saw you

I gave out a long sigh i might as well be honest or else they may go wild with the rumours

Y/N: not that its anyone's business but yes it’s true we did kiss

Everyone was shocked and all started to talk either saying “ i told you so” or “ how can that be”

Then one of the slytherin’s asked a questions

Blaise: but miss aren't you a gryffindor and mister snape a slytherin

I was disappointed at that statement i hated house rivalries they always went to far

Y/N: yes its true mister Zabini but house should never matter when it come to love

That made the commotion even louder they didn’t think love was involved yet, most likely think this was a new occurrence

Then some one in the class decided to ask a smart question to finally put the pieces together

Hermione: Professor L/N what your relationship with Professor Snape

I gave a smile finally someone had maye notice i never really talked about my relationship unless asked same with severus so getting this question was a little bit exciting to me

Y/N: well miss granger good question my relationship with Professor snape is actually a simple question to answer

I paused for dramatic effect looking at all the anticipated face of the students giving them a sweet smile

Y/N: were actually Husband and Wife

Everyone was shocked giving out surprised gasps at the very thought

Student 1 : no way that can’t be true

Student 2 : why are you married to snape

Student 3: how long have you been married ?

Student 4: unbelievable

I decided to hush the class to explain this was such a big surprise to all of them apparently

Y/N; 1 it is true me and severus have been together for a few years now and quite happily married we’ve known each other since out student days, 2 severus is a very kind person and i would not appreciate you all bad mouthing my husband around me and 3 it very believable

After answering all their question classes resumed and it was finally finished the day went on as normal but you next classes were pretty much the same as the third years asking questions and being very shock at a gryffindor and slytherin were together

Classes were now done and it was time for dinner as you were waiting for dinner to start you waited for Severus but it seemed like he was a bit late, probably marking. But after a few minutes he had finally arrive while dinner was in full swing.

Y/N: hello love how were classes today

He seemed very grumpy probably due to the students constant questions

Severus: no very good student don’t know how to keep questions to them seleves

As he said that i look towards to student seeing them looking at our interactions, and a plan came into my head it could anger him a little bit or maybe help

So i decided while everyone was looking at us and he was talking, to give him a kiss on the cheek and i did

He froze for a sec but then relaxed guess the kiss worked and for a moment he ignore everyone around us and cupped my cheek to give me a quick kiss on the lips

Severus; i love you, i really do my darling wife

I smile at him i was so in love with this man

Y/N: i love you too my darling husband

After that everyone said awwww in the great hall which cause severus to snape out of it and go cold once again i slid my hand under the table to hold his hand to make sure he was okay and he squeezed back telling him he was fine then i brought it to my lips to give it a kiss causing everyone to awww once again

And to this day people say they could have sworn they saw professor snape blush

#severus snape #Severus snape x reader #harry potter #secret relationship #established relationship #romance #angst #fluff

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hollowed-theory-hall · 25 days

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"gave Snape a stable job....despite being abusive to children (though he probably didn't perceive himself as such)"

I am a tad confused about this. How could Severus not possibly understand that he was being abusive to the kids under his care- especially Harry? Did he feel threatened by the children under his care to the point of viewing them as equals and thus justifying his behaviour to himself (why didn't the other teachers call him out on his shit)

Anonymous: am curious. You mentioned Snape likely doesn't realise that he is abusing the children under his care and mimicking his father. Does he actually feel powerless enough to justify his behaviours to himself? When he sees James in Harry and blames Neville does he see the boys as his equals/ someone above him in power that needs to be put down- thus allowing himself to continue acting the way he does? It's ironic all things considered. For all that Harry looks like James, he takes more after Lily.

Okay, so, I just wrote a post about Snape, but I'll cover here what I'm thinking about this specifically in more detail.

I'm not sure where the quote you mentioned is from, but I can say what I think about the way Snape treats Harry and his students and how he sees it.

So, Severus was abused by his father. From his behavior, what I guess is that a lot of his treatment of his students is him mimicking what he saw from his father.

Like, Severus became a professor at 21. It means his older students knew him as a student. Not to mention he was a terrorist, known Death Eater, who was saved by Dumbledore from being sent to Azkaban. And his students knew this.

So Severus felt like he needed a way to make sure his students would take him seriously. The main example he decided to draw from — his father, Tobias.

We don't know what exactly Tobias Snape did, he was a poor, working-class man who abused his wife and son. And I think when Tobias wanted to be taken seriously, he used fear, insults, and force. So this is what Severus knows.

Severus sees what he does as the only way students would treat him seriously, he doesn't really see it as abuse, as I believe he doesn't really see his father's mistreatment of him as abuse.

Severus always struck me as a character who doesn't want to get better.

I think Severus is one of the abused kids who rationalized his own abuse as something he deserved. He clearly wants to beat himself up about his mistakes. He wants to feel the guilt over pushing Lily away and then over killing her (in his mind). So, to him, in his mind, it's not abuse, it's what they deserve.

Is it good that's what he thinks? No, not at all, it actually sucks. Snape needed therapy.

Now, with Harry specifically, his treatment is different. With Harry, he really does see him as an equal and he needs Harry to treat him seriously. Like, Snape projects James on Harry way more than Sirius does. And Snape can't show anything resembling weakness to Mini-James Potter, so he goes back to his father's methods to be taken seriously. It's about Harry not seeing him as weak like James did.

And revenge, a little bit. Snape is very petty.

He still doesn't see his vengeance as abuse, because, as much as Severus wants to believe he's the one in power, he's scared of Harry more than he's willing to confess. He doesn't see a power imbalance between him and Harry, he doesn't actually see himself in a position of power, because he sees James in Harry. Harry doesn't treat Severus with the respect usually given to professors, which strengthens the way Severus doesn't really see him as a student.

Like, the fact Severus felt the need to remove memories he didn't want Harry to see when teaching him Occlumancy shows how much he fears Harry. Fears the possibility of Harry getting this information and using it against him.

Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . . “Antidotes!” said Snape, looking around at them all, his cold black eyes glittering unpleasantly. “You should all have prepared your recipes now. I want you to brew them carefully, and then, we will be selecting someone on whom to test one. . . .” Snape’s eyes met Harry’s, and Harry knew what was coming. Snape was going to poison him. Harry imagined picking up his cauldron, and sprinting to the front of the class, and bringing it down on Snape’s greasy head —

(GoF, 300-301)

In the above quote, Harry has these thoughts while Snape is reading his mind — there's eye contact. So Severus sees these thoughts from Harry and doesn't separate this from James, he sees it and thinks that Harry very much might actually spill his entire cauldron on him — like James might've done. So, Severus is taking every instance like this to justify his fear of Harry and his need to keep him down.

With Neville it's different. He doesn't fear Neville the way he fears Harry, I think he does see Neville as someone weaker. In the case of Neville, Severus is, I think, doing what a lot of bullies do, picking on a weaker link to feel better about himself. More in control, more capable. Neville being next to Harry is kinda part of it, I don't think Snape would've been as harsh with Neville if he wasn't near Harry, who makes Snape kinda lose it and feel unbalanced and insecure in his position because he sees him as James more than as Harry.

And I agree with you second Anon, personality-wise, I think Harry isn't very similar to James at all. And he definitely has some of Lily's traits in him, but he's not her either, he's his own person. Something Snape willfully chooses not to see. It's easier for him not to see it, so he chooses not to, so he can keep up with his petty vengeance towards a dead man.

As for why other teachers didn't call him out, well, I think the Wizarding World has a very different approach to child care than the modern western world does.

We know corporal punishment was allowed at Hogwarts and the Wizarding World at large. One of the good things Dumbledore did as a headmaster was stop the use of it at the castle, but it was socially acceptable in the WW even in the 1990s. Actually, even in the muggle UK in the 1990s caning was still allowed in private schools, and Harry is clearly aware of this fact:

“Excuse me, Professor Flitwick, could I borrow Wood for a moment?” Wood? thought Harry, bewildered; was Wood a cane she was going to use on him? But Wood turned out to be a person, a burly fifth-year boy who came out of Flitwick’s class looking confused.

(PS, 109)

Because this is something that was still practiced in the UK. Harry actually had to lie to Aunt Marge that he was getting canned at St. Brutus school since that's something that happened there.

And it also happened in the Wizarding World until very recently, Molly says Arthur still has marks from what was most likely a caning when he was at Hogwarts:

Mrs. Weasley grinned, her eyes twinkling. “Your father and I had been for a nighttime stroll,” she said. “He got caught by Apollyon Pringle — he was the caretaker in those days — your father’s still got the marks.”

(GoF, 616)

Umbridge (and the Carrows) later returns corporeal punishment to Hogwarts, and it's quite clear there is no law against it in the WW:

“Approval for Whipping . . . Approval for Whipping . . . I can do it at last. . . . They’ve had it coming to them for years. . . .” He [Filch] pulled out a piece of parchment, kissed it, then shuffled rapidly back out of the door, clutching it to his chest.

(OotP, 673)

Molly actually beat Fred with a broom (or at least attempted to) and it's considered fine and legal and not abuse:

“Seen the Fizzing Whizbees, Harry?” said Ron, grabbing him and leading him over to their barrel. “And the Jelly Slugs? And the Acid Pops? Fred gave me one of those when I was seven — it burnt a hole right through my tongue. I remember Mum walloping him with her broomstick.” Ron stared broodingly into the Acid Pop box.

(PoA, 200)

Because the Wizarding World (and the UK) in the 1990s had a very different view on abuse and domestic violence. So, yeah, I don't think Severus considered what he did abuse, he considered it harsh discipline, like he himself received as a child. The way everyone ignores Harry's (and Snape's as a child) very clear signs of being abused is also telling. A rough hand and insults with disobedient children is just considered what you do, and not horrifyingly gross behavior like we see it today.

And the other teachers don't step in, because they consider it just as legal and acceptable as Snape. Because it is in the Wizarding World.

#harry potter #hp #harry potter thoughts #hp thoughts #asks #anonymous #anon asks #severus snape

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these-conquered-woodlands · 1 year

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For the snape asks: III and XI :3

Thank you for the ask :) took me a while to come up with answers for these.

III: Should he have been sorted into slytherin? Why or why not?

In terms of whether he deserves to be in that house I'd say yes, sorting him into Slytherin was the best option for him- except that he was sorted into it at the wrong time in history I suppose. He shows most of the qualities- we see his resourcefulness, cleverness and determination in how he helps the fight against Voldemort. In his younger years there is also a sense of ambition that he had, directed towards proving himself (by learning more than what he needed, like his spell creating) and getting the upper hand on his enemies (the marauders).

However, we know that many of the people with him in that house at the time were indoctrinated death eater kids, and it was likely their influence which helped Severus to make the decision to become a death eater. Unless the other three houses were also facing an infiltration of kids who were also indoctrinated, it might be best that Severus went into Ravenclaw at least- he has a fair share of wit and intellectual ability to fit into that house.

XI: Why do you think he kept helping dumbledore after finding out he lied to him about harry’s life?

There's definitely quite a few ideas on why Severus continued to help Albus. It depends a bit on how you view Albus and Severus' relationship. There could be some manipulation at play, with Albus convincing Severus that this was the ultimate way for him to truly repent himself. Albus' treatment of Severus could very much have been better, he did tend to use a fair bit of guilt-tripping on him at times, subtly reminding him of his role in Lily's death to try to convince him to do things.

On the other hand, something a bit nice to think about- Severus continued helping Albus because despite the betrayal, he just genuinely came to understand it would be the only way for Voldemort to die. Despite his devotion to Lily, he came to believe in the cause and wanted to end Voldemort's terrors. A way of showing that Severus truly changed his beliefs, and ended up believing in the beliefs espoused by the people fighting Voldemort's philosophy. If you take the cursed child as canon, there's a line by Severus himself that supports this idea:

Snape: One person. All it takes is one person. I couldn't save Harry for Lily. So now I give my allegiance to the cause she believed in. And it's possible - that along the way I started believing in it myself.

#asks #severus snape

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severusish · 2 years

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HEAR YE HEAR YE

After much reflection I have decided that I loathe Severus Snape. Can’t stand him. Worst character ever. I am changing my blog name to @prongsmybeloved because James Potter deserves more attention than greasy lame ugly Snivelly Snivellus ever could!!! 🤮🤮

I don’t know how I could have ever loved Snape. I was in some kind of a fever dream. What planet was I on? I was wrong. The Marauders are the ones I love. 😍😍😍✨✨✨

James? Immaculate and unflawed. Peter? Loyal, always. Remus? Hello, hi werewolf hottie. I would marry you. Sirius Black? Yes my Pureblood son, reject your family’s Slytherin ways, you rebel icon. 😌😌😌🙏🏻🙏🏻

Slytherins = trash💀

Gryffindors = gold 😍✨

Fight me. Anti Snape for the win. Marauders Era. All the young dudes. All the boys. ♥️

@severusish has died. Long live @prongsmybeloved

— ish

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gallavich-forever · 3 years

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You know what really does me in? People who don’t understand Snape. Because he was a Death Eater it means he must be a shitty person and everyone who was against the Death Eaters were all good, perfect people, right?

Wrong.

The amazing thing about the Potter series and how Rowling chose to write it is that a lot of the characters are neither all good or all bad. Many of them operate under a gray morality standpoint, and this is ultimately what makes each character so effective and relatable. It’s this acknowledgment that none of the characters are really good or bad. They just are, and they operate under their own sense of ethics of what’s right or wrong. This makes them truly human, because all humans are neither good nor bad. We just are. We do bad things sometimes, and we do good things. The good things we do don’t make us a good person if we’re horrible the majority of our lives, and likewise just because we do bad things, even sometimes terrible things, does not make us any less of a good person. Good and bad are very subjective experience. People aren’t good or bad. We just are.

Take the Marauders for example. Now I’m the first one to say how much I love Sirius and Remus, but there’s no way to put this: the Marauders were big, fat bullies. They just were, and I’m sorry if that offends anyone, but it’s true. James and Sirius tormented Severus throughout their entire school life, for literally no other reason than just because he existed. Sirius almost got the man killed by Remus, and if it hadn’t been for James he would have died. In fact the Marauders weren’t just bullies; they were unnecessarily cruel to a kid that didn’t deserve it. And to be quite honest, James probably only did it because he was jealous that Lily liked Severus better than him. There was no reason for them to bully Severus, no reason for Remus not to immediately put a stop to it and tell them that this was wrong. There was no reason other than just because they could, or they were bored and wanted to start trouble. Yet we all still love the Marauders, minus Peter.

Severus’s only crime in the Marauders Era was fighting back and defending himself, which any normal person would try to do in his circumstance, yet so many people hate him. Why? Because of seven short years of his life where he dished the abuse James had given him back out onto Harry. Was it right for Severus to behave this way to a child? No. Was it right for him to play favorites with his own house? No, although keep in mind that the other Heads of House did the exact same thing. McGonagall in particular always favored the Gryffindors and gave Harry the same special treatment that Severus gave Draco. Realistically Harry should’ve gotten a detention in first year for the flying incident. Yes, he was trying to help a classmate, and that’s commendable of him, but he still broke the rule not to fly without supervision, and had it not been for his remarkable skill, he could’ve been seriously injured or killed. When it’s McGonagall doing it to her students, it’s okay, because they’re Gryffindors and they’re the good guys so they deserve to get special treatment. But people start pointing fingers anytime Snape wants to do the same. Granted, his ways are more extreme, however it’s the exact same concept.

People get onto him for playing favorites and for just generally having a pretty intolerable personality and forget that he has literally helped Harry as much as he possibly could and has saved his life more times than any of the other professors can count. Let’s not forget it was Dumbledore putting Harry in dangerous, hairbrained situations in the first place. Let’s also not forget that Severus got angry at Dumbledore when he found out that he planned to sacrifice him to Voldemort for them greater good.’ Severus has fought for Harry so much. He wasn’t always nice to him, no, I’ll admit that. But the man doesn’t deserve any of the hate he gets. Severus worked to try and save Harry’s life again and again and again, and ultimately paid the price. So please show the man a bit more respect because he deserves as much credit for his efforts as the Marauders or anyone else on Dumbledore’s side gets.

#severus snape #harry potter rant #marauders #Snape deserves respect #harry potter

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ravenousgf · 3 years

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COI/HP PARALLELS

You know what I just realised? I was rereading COI in math class as one does, and one scene in particular gave me some deja vu.

coi page 72

“...for that matter it could've been Alastair.” (Matthew talking about who could be the murderer)

“Matthew,” Cordelia said furiously, “must we keep bringing up my brother? Alastair may be many things but he is not a murderer.”

“I just like to blame him for things,” Matthew said a bit sheepishly.

ootp chapter 28, snape's worst memory

“Leave (Snape) alone,” Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. “What's he done to you?” “Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean...”

THE PARALLELS!!

both matthew and james (potter), the popular, well-liked teenagers in their social circles, publicly insult the lesser-liked, abused boys of their year and are callous and arrogant when called out on it, preferring instead to indirectly sift the blame onto the victim.

now, I do not like snape. I think redeeming him was definitely not the right decision for the story, but the point is, everybody agrees that what james potter said in this situation was fucked up, including the girl he wants to impress. The book ootp makes it very clear that this is a huge character flaw that james had to overcome in order to even hope to secure her affections, but more importantly, in order to be deserving of any respect as a good person.

It's even said that this was the worst memory/incident, and that usually, snape gave as good as he got, or even sometimes gave before he got. but alastair is polite with matthew, owns up to his mistakes, apologizes and tries to be better, and this is how he's treated for it? Even given their usual enemity, we still all recognise that what james potter did to snape was shitty.

but that's far from the case with matthew (and his parabatai). the book sympathizes with him for his behaviour towards alastair and marks it off as a valid treatment of a guy he barely even knows. even cordelia isn't made to stand up for him beyond a few passing remarks.

after watching this scene play out, those very lines his father says come back to haunt harry as he wonders if he got everything wrong about him. if james' actions had been painted as alright, then he would be getting so much more hate than he already is, and rightly so.

why, then, is matthew's (and his parabatai's) similar behaviour viewed so differently?

tl;dr: ik the book paints matthew's words as well-meaning, a little rude, but ultimately harmless but perhaps we should step back from that and reconsider how truly and unendingly terrible his treatment of alastair is.

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amtoooldforthisshit · 4 years

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Lily Evans’s treatment in canon was so sexist. She was just a plot device to further develop the male character’s stories. It’s aggravating!

There’s so much I wanted to know about her. Why couldn’t we learn about her the same way we learned about James through his friends? What were her flaws? Who were her girl friends? What were her dreams? her fears? How did she deal with the fallout with her sister? Why didn’t she leave anything behind for Harry like James did with the invisibility cloak and map? Did she harbor any secrets like the mauraders did with their animagi? What was it like for her to be a muggleborn in the middle of a war started with the intention of prosecuting people like her? Why was Harry rarely compared to her when he was her son as much as he was james’? I’m sure he inherited more from her than just his eyes!

we never really got to know her as a person. She was merely the perfect sacrificial mother and Snape’s unrequited love and proof that James grew up. The key to the rivalry between Snape and James. The reason Snape hated Harry but still protected him. She was defined entirely by the men in her life. A symbol not a person and that’s a shame. She deserved better.

One might argue she’s dead through the entirety of the series so we weren’t meant to focus much on her anyway, which sure, except James is dead too and yet he’s still humanized and given agency by the narrative in a way lily was denied.

It’s just one of many examples of Rowling doing her female characters dirty.

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sl-ash-er · 3 years

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In Defense of Severus Snape

This isn't well planned out or anything, I'll likely rewrite this another time, but i wanted to get my thoughts out now so yeah.

I'm all for disagreements btw. At the end of the day, HP is a fictional world, the characters aren't real. It's cool if we disagree. I don't mind at all. This isn't really me debating anyone, as I honestly have no intention of changing my mind. I just wanna talk about my thoughts, ya know?

If people are willing to see the complexity of the Mauraders and how they're more than just bullies (they definitely are more than that) then I honestly don't see why people don't see the absolute trainwreck of complexity Snape is. He and Voldemort are characters that are the examples of what happens when people don't become better and don't get help.

👏Time👏Itself👏Does👏Not👏Heal👏Wounds👏Help👏Does👏

Thats exactly why Sirius still acted the same way after being in Azkaban for 12 years and him being out, because despite him having all that time he didn't get help.

Often times, traumatized people need help by being removed from the toxic environment in order to change or to prevent them from become a product of that toxic environment.

Sirius ran away to the Potter's

Harry went to the Weasley's

Snape did not have anyone

Snape had Lily, until he destroyed it by calling her a slur. Which he regretted until the day he died. Which again, this can be seen as him being a product of his environment of clinging to the only friends he had at the time who were extremely prejudice and it was out of impulse, not thought. He regretted it immediately. Dont get me wrong, I don't blame Lily from being upset and stopping her and Snape's friendship. She had every right to do that, but I will never see that as anything other than Snape making a huge mistake and regretting it the moment that word left his lips. He was angry and scarred, he was humiliated and assaulted and his best friend laughed at it.

Even Harry thought it was disturbing. Even Harry realized, the kid that hated Snape from day one realized that he did not deserve the treatment he got.

Snape didn't want to be a deatheater again, that was Dumbledore's idea. Snape was a death eater for about 2 years and then spent the remainder of his life taking them down. Was it for a selfish reason? Yeah it was, but he still did it so what does it matter the motive behind it? It worked, didn't it?

I love Snape, not because he's a good character, because he isn't, but because he's one of the most realistic characters.

I do not condone the bullying Snape did to his students, but I understand why it happened.

When someone doesn't get help for their abuse, they will very likely become a product of their environment. Snape did exactly that.

I see so many people say that Harry should have had a lot more issues because of all the abuse he went through. That is not very realistic that he went on in life unscathed from the fact the Dursley's neglected and abused him and him going to literal war at such a young age.

Yet Snape was a very good product of what people were expecting from Harry- a product of an abusive, bullying environment. He was bullied as a kid, traumatized by it, and when he never got help for it time means nothing because he never got help during that time. He became a bully himself.

Most bullies were bullied themselves. Most abusive people were abused themselves. Trauma destroys a person.

As another thing, people rarely criticize Sirius for being abusive to Kreacher due to the understanding that Kreacher was very likely a reminder of Sirius' abusive home life, leading to him yelling, screaming and yeeting Kreacher. I agree with those as well. I think the constant mention and praise of his mother and the the way Kreacher talked down to Sirius and those who entered Grimmauld Place definitely brought up some trauma in Sirius. Leading him to lash out like he did.

So if we can agree that the reason Sirius was abusive to Kreacher was due to his reminder of trauma, isn't it possible that Snape was so awful towards Harry (and arguably Neville as well) was due to the fact the Harry reminded him of James? The guy who bullied and traumatized Snape? Who was his student for 6 years?

Food for thought

#severus snape #snape #pro snape #mine #ashy rants #darrin dont look

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fandom-thingies · 3 years

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My Complicated Feelings Toward JK Rowling

I think everyone who’s read Harry Potter and likes to talk has written something like this by now. It makes sense, right? She wrote possibly the most influential book series to come out in the last century. For me and many others, those books are an unforgettable part of our childhoods, and it hurts for the person who took us on such a journey of magic and wonder to be so unmagical herself.

So, here’s my take.

I think the thing I hate most about JK Rowling is how close she came to greatness.

There’s a reason her books became so popular, after all. For all her faults, (and there are many) she’s an amazing writer.

Every one of her characters feel like they could walk off of the page at any time and into your life.

Dudley Dursley with his absorption of how his parents treat Harry and how his friends treat him, with his slow growth throughout the books into a person beyond who he was raised to be.

Molly Weasley with her overbearing mother henning, sometimes harmful but oh so clearly coming from a place of love, and her complete willingness to adopt any child that stands still long enough for her to do so. (Except Fleur)

Narcissa Malfoy with her belief in the horrible things she’s doing, without that stopping her from being entirely willing to do anything for her child.

Sirius Black with his tendency to unintentionally echo the sentiments he was raised with, and the tragedy of him losing his chance to ever truly grow as a person after being thrown in Azkaban for twelve years and then dying so soon after, and his complete, unconditional love for Harry.

I could write essays on any of them, and my point is that while JK’s treatment of certain issues and characters makes me want to hate Harry Potter, her characterization itself is both consistent and magnificently human.

Her world, too, is beautiful.

I first read Harry Potter before I turned eleven, and I was one of many across the nation who awaited my letter with eager anticipation.

Can you blame me? The world she created filled so many children with wonder, made so many of us want so badly for magic to be real, to be ours-

It was beautiful, and I hate her for what she could have been.

She had this fully realized system of prejudice that canonically created genocidal maniacs and put them in power every two generations or so, and she had this very realistic way of writing horribly flawed people that pronounces them as people without exonerating them for the awful things she’d have them do, and I can’t help feeling like “the horrors of war”, as well as she wrote it, wasn’t the story her world deserved.

But that’s a big idea to tackle, and I think it will be tackled best if I start small. I’ve spoken now of the beauty of her world, of her characters. Now I’ll speak of what marrs it.

Like I said, I want to start small.

So, let’s talk about the house elves.

TL;DR? Hermione was right. They’re indoctrinated from birth into believing the only thing they’re good for is housework, as well as being raised to abhor any elf who chooses to do otherwise. It’s a neat little self perpetuating system that bears absolutely no similarity in ideology to the mythology JK built it off of, and as such loses the aspect of choice that’s so significant to brownies.

Add to that the socially acceptable abuse, and you’ve got something that looks far more similar to slavery than it does little fairies who come to clean your home and get mad if pay them because they’re doing it as a favor.

And that’s why it’s so concerning, when JK brushes Hermione’s campaigning off in canon so casually.

It’s honestly hard to say when I started to be leery of JK Rowling, except that it was several years before the TERF scandal occurred. I think this was probably one of the earlier areas, though.

The first time I remember wondering if Harry Potter’s greatnesses were in spite of her intentions, rather than because of them, though, wasn’t the house elves.

It was, rather, a different contentious issue in the fandom, and one I’ve always fallen quite firmly to one side of, as someone who’s been bullied myself.

The first time I remember being suspicious of JK’s beliefs was when I realized she didn’t write Snape with the intent for him to be a villain.

Snape is not a person anyone in the fandom seems to be able to agree on. Some see him as a flat, cartoony villain, while some see him as a tortured soul who only did all those terrible things because he was hurting inside, don’t you see?

Personally, I drew the line at him being a child’s boggart, as well as the time he attempted to kill Neville’s toad, Trevor, because seriously; what the fuck.

It had always been my belief that while him being obsessed with loving Lily motivated him to work on the side of good, it was more like Narcissa’s willingness to betray her cause for her son than anything else, being a sympathetic trait without absolving his cruelty.

Then I realized that a bunch of people (likely including JK) view Narcissa similarly to how they view Snape, seeing both as people who do bad but are good, rather than people who do good but are bad, and I honestly don’t know what to say to y’all.

You know having good traits doesn’t make a person good, right? Being capable of affection doesn’t absolve people of cruelty or make it your responsibility to forgive them and try to get them to change, it just tells them that they can do bad things without being punished for it.

Do you guys need an abuse hotline?

Anyway, that’s when I stopped liking JK, since I’ve been bullied myself and seeing her treat such a horrible bully as a good person kinda soured me on her. I’m not mad at her for letting her bullies grow and change- I love Draco’s and Dudley’s character arcs. I’m just mad at her because unlike those two, Snape is an adult and she kinda wrote it like forgiving him was an expectation of Harry, rather than a personal choice (and not an easy one either! Forgiving bullies is hard and it’s not always healthy!)

I’m getting off topic, but I genuinely believe that discussing this kind of thing is important, so I’m leaving that in.

Getting back to what this is actually about, I’m the kind of person who sees potential in things, often before I see the work itself, (it’s why I write fanfiction) and Harry Potter has so much potential it hurts, because so much of it is just wasted.

I said, earlier, that “the horrors of war” wasn’t the story best suited to this world, and I stand by that.

The first reason I believe that is because I don’t think that the black and white morality this kind of narrative often creates was well suited to JK’s writing style. JK has a tendency to put her characters in boxes of “good” or “bad” and as someone who doesn’t really believe in inherent goodness or evil, this will always feel unrealistic to me.

Because in the end, it’s JK’s minor villains, the ones not directly involved with Voldemort’s war, that really shine.

My favorite villains in the series were Umbridge, the Dursleys, Draco Malfoy, and Cornelius Fudge, because they were the villains who felt real, who felt like flawed people making flawed decisions because we’re all fundamentally products of our environment-

These are the villains who stuck with me, who I still want to take and shake because they were the kind of cruelty we’ve all faced.

Voldemort, as the main villain of the story, would have been more powerful if he’d been an amplified version of these people. In fact, the story would have been better in general if Fudge or Dumbledore had been the villain, because the problem with Voldemort is that unlike the good villains in this story, who feel real because we’ve all met people like them, Voldemort is and will always be larger than life.

A genocidal maniac is a villain few of us have faced societally, and one none of us have faced directly.

Also, rather than being a worse version of Umbridge or Fudge, Voldemort is more akin to a worse version of Snape. He’s a tortured soul who does bad things because bad things were done to him, rather than being cruel through his choices, his own agency.

That’s the first reason why “the horrors of war” wasn’t the best choice of a narrative for this world.

The second is that I don’t think JK sees anything wrong with her muggle hating characters.

She clearly thinks killing muggles is wrong, of course. She’s not that bad.

But, well, the muggle characters in Harry Potter are consistently kind of awful.

First there’s the Dursleys, selfish, entitled, egotistical, and cruel to anyone different from them. Then there’s Snape’s muggle father, who was horribly abusive, as well as cruel to anything different from him.

Then there’s the muggle prime minister, who despite being an important figure, is left completely out of the loop for anything concerning wizards, pretty much only used when the ministry needs the muggle news to say or do a certain thing, like when Sirius Black was declared a criminal.

There’s also the family at the quidditch world cup, of whom who only meet the patriarch, a somewhat stupid man who remarks uncomprehendingly on the oddness of wizards trying to assimilate into muggle society, a man who is canonically obliviated ten times a day.

And that’s it, that’s all the muggle characters I can remember. Aside from the Dursleys, none of them are given more than a page or so of screentime, and none of them do anything significant.

No, wait, I did actually forget two.

Hermione’s parents, who are obliviated and sent to Australia when the war starts, because the only thing they could ever do in a war is be victims.

Muggles in Harry Potter are consistently stupid, ineffectual, and cruel to anyone different from them.

Out of the entire massive cast of Harry Potter, there are few enough muggles that I can list them all off the top of my head without googling and the only muggle in the story ever given the all important chance to be kind is Dudley Dursley, who is taken out of the story the moment he stops being an awful person.

I’m sure you see the problem.

The issue with Harry Potter is that JK acts like the problem is solved when muggles are no longer being actively persecuted, when in reality that’s only the beginning of solving the prejudice that plagues her world.

Voldemort is frequently called “wizard Hitler” and I think that’s more accurate than people realize, because as with Hitler, people easily see the problem with Voldemort committing genocide, and they’re fine with working to stop that, but the moment they’re asked to examine their own biases, their own small cruelties and exclusions, the ten thousand cuts they’ve inflicted with their own hands…

The moment people are asked to examine themselves, to look close at the mirror and point to what allowed someone like Voldemort to gain a following in the first place, they turn away and go back to turning a blind eye to the fact that if you don’t address the societal issues that made him gain a following in the first place, there’ll just be another when it’s been a few years and people have forgotten.

In the end, Grindlewald is wizard Hitler. Voldemort and the death eaters are wizard neo nazis.

I’m not Jewish, though, so I’ll let them be the ones to expand further upon this, as many have.

My point here is that JK’s story would have been more powerful if it had been about addressing the issues that underpin the death eaters, rather than killing their leader and acting as if that’ll solve anything.

JK Rowling is antisemetic, racist, and a TERF, among other things, and while I’m glad it shows in her work as little as it does, it does show, and I’m not going to cover that in this because a thousand other people have covered it better than I ever could.

Suffice to say, I’m nonbinary, and I’m glad I was disillusioned with her before I knew she was prejudiced directly against me, because loving her before she said the things she said and did the things she did would have hurt.

The fact that her world shows so clearly the consequences of her beliefs, even in the context of a prejudice that doesn’t exist in our own world…

I guess she’s always been too good a writer for her own good, in the end.

#harry potter #jk rowling #harry potter meta #harry potter criticism #tl;dr i hate harry potter because it came SO CLOSE to greatness and then JK just SQUANDERED it and i'll die angry

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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FLIGHT OF THE FAT LADY

Lily took the book with very mixed emotions. Harry was only one week into this school year and already she felt as wrung out and emotionally drained as his other two years. She would also keep a lid on her emotions and not blow up at Snape like she knew they were all expecting. Hoping it just couldn't get any worse, she hesitantly began to read.

After that, Defense became hands down the best class for the majority of students.

Remus couldn't help but beam with pleasure, while James and Sirius were unsurprised and smirking.

Only Malfoy and his select Slytherins found anything to bad mouth Lupin about.

Lily's lips formed a sneer of annoyance; she found it horrid anyone would say something about someone else because of the way they dressed, especially when he couldn't help it.

She saw the boys clench as they fought their disgust, only Remus rolled his eyes, not looking very concerned. He doubted this kid could say anything he hadn't already heard before.

He laughed loudly in the corridors even as said teacher passed, mocking him for dressing like their old house elf.

"I like to think I'm a little better off than an old pillow case," Remus said lightly.

"Wonder what happened to Dobby anyways," James said with interest, still rather wound up at anybody insulting one of his friends, but recognizing it couldn't really be handled right now.

"I'm rather sure I find out," Harry said with as much confidence as he ever could when talking about his future, but he did seem rather sure on this matter, so the others let it go for now.

This didn't concern any of the other students though,

"The good people never do care about such trivial things," Sirius nodded in agreement, always wishing he could help his friend out more if he'd allow it, but grateful that the students had looked past his physical appearance to see the real friend and good person beneath.

as they eagerly anticipated and were promptly delivered the next set of interesting lessons, ranging from all manner of magical beasts over the next several weeks.

However much they all forced themselves to continue ignoring the issue, they all felt just that little bit worse when they realized time was still dragging on and Remus very clearly wasn't going to have that talk with Harry. Why though, what possible reason could he have for ignoring him like this? If it really was Dumbledore stopping him, then what motive could the Headmaster have? Harry deserved an adult wizard in his life, one that would make sure to look after him like Dumbledore himself clearly hadn't. No one could bring themselves to say anything aloud about this topic though, having no more answers now than when this had first come up.

Instead, Harry at least tried to push past that awkward part and asked, "why were you focusing on the dark creatures though? Were we that far behind?"

Remus gave himself a hard little shake, uneasily meeting Harry's eyes as he explained, "well, yes and no. I do specialize in dark creatures, as Dumbledore well knows I enjoy studying them in my spare time. Mostly though that's just what the third year curriculum focuses on, scattered in with the spells used to combat them."

Harry nodded in understanding, while James and Sirius tried not to share an uneasy look. On top of Remus' odd behaviour so far in this, they were also well aware that this was the year when most students focused on how to spot werewolves. That wouldn't be an easy lesson for Remus to teach, and it wasn't any more pleasant to wonder how Harry was going to react to that. He seemed fine with it now, but could they stand it if he had an initial bad reaction to their friend? Of course they were just assuming Harry figured it out like they had, but what if Remus sat Harry down and explained that before hand, it could even be the reason why he was so unsurprised to relearn the news here with them.

More questions than answers, and still none of them dared speak any of this allowed.

Harry just wished that his other classes were going as well, like Potions.

Lily grit her teeth in frustration, before reading on forcefully, already having to use a lot of self-restraint to read in a normal tone.

Snape was acting even worse than usual.

"Bitter old bat," Sirius huffed.

"I wish I struggled to imagine it," James sneered.

He'd clearly overheard the story of his boggart.

Here James and Sirius again didn't bother hiding their laughter one little bit, dearly hoping they never would have to again.

He'd also taken to giving Lupin a death look whenever they were in the same vicinity, while if ever his name was spoken in ear shot that student would receive the same treatment.

"Glad he blames me for that rather than Neville," Remus frowned, "at least I can handle him."

His treatment of Neville had doubled up in bad.

Lily wasn't the only one seething by the end of this; they all wanted to strangle this overgrown child for treating a student like that. It was Snape's own damned fault he was Neville's worst fear, and the subsequent boggart form. It was infuriating for him to still not have learned his lesson. His continuation of the treatment to Neville and the other students was doing nothing to stop future boggart incidents. Lily was going to give him a not very pleasant visit soon.

Divination wasn't going any better, as that teacher now watched Harry with dew filled eyes.

"Oh please," James scoffed with perhaps a bit more acid than normal, still distracted and peeved at Snape's actions.

Unlike Harry though, some of the other students had taken to revering Trelawney.

"Ah the easily fooled youth," Sirius said lightly, finding her rather annoying as well.

Parvati and Lavender in particular began spending their lunch breaks with her, and proceeded to then speak to their fellow students with knowledge bound smirks.

"And Hermione has to share a dorm with them?" Lily asked in disgust, "I feel bad for her now."

They'd also jumped on the bandwagon and began treating Harry like they were at his wake.

"That must get annoying, considering how loud the school can get. Could you even hear them?" Remus asked.

Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes, finding those girls antics rather annoying as he said, "I hardly spoke to them anyways, and no, not really. By that point I didn't care."

Care of Magical Creatures had lost its fun as well,

"Oh no," Sirius frowned, "what happened?"

as Hagrid had lost all charisma after the debauched first class, and had spent the remainder of time teaching them how to take care of flobberworms.

"Ouch," Remus winced in sympathy.

"Poor Hagrid," Lily agreed with a frown.

"Guess I can see that happening," James admitted.

Ron found these classes the most boring thing of all, pointing out how useless the wriggling creatures were while shoving lettuce down its gullet.

"Ron's also got a point," Sirius rolled his eyes, "flobberworms are very self-managing, and they're pretty much just grub for a few creatures. Hagrid's doing the class a real injustice for lingering on these things longer than five minutes."

"I can only imagine the seventh years appreciating this, as if he carries on too long their NEWT's will be a breeze," Remus agreed with a slight wince.

October though brought something new to Harry's plate, as the Quidditch season was set to begin.

"Yes," all four boys brightened up at that, and then Sirius narrowed his eyes dangerously at Lily and said, "I swear if you get to read his Quidditch chapter, I'm going to have a fit. It's high time I've gotten my turn at that."

Lily rolled her eyes at him; personally she was hoping she didn't get it too since she had hardly enjoyed the sport even before it seemed to have gone out of its way to pulverize her son every chance it got. She'd gladly hand over the book to Sirius if he really wanted to read it.

Oliver Wood was well aware of this, using his first bit of practice to go over brand new skills and tactics he'd been thinking on. The narration began to explain that there were seven players in Quidditch,

"Oh here we go again," James rolled his eyes, "the book explaining something we've already gone over."

"Yes well, since it's about Quidditch, I'm willing to allow this," Sirius smirked.

and gave a small overview of the game.

"At least it was brief," Remus shrugged without concern.

Wood was now a seventh year in school,

"Oh that's right," James nodded, "this will be his last year there. Poor kid hasn't won the Cup once as captain has he?"

Harry shuffled a little, feeling personally to blame for this, but the others still wouldn't hear of it and spent a few more minutes telling Harry why this was ridiculous of him to think so. He did look slightly better by the end of it, and still had a personal conviction that nothing should happen this year, he and his team would win that Cup, he hoped.

Hoping to make Harry feel at least a little better Sirius also pointed out, "besides, it's not like anyone who would review him for a professional team could blame any of that on you. They'd look at his statistics of how many goals he's saved, and other such stats."

Harry did look a little better at that reminder, thinking he had won Wood every game he'd been in so far, and ignoring an odd little feeling like he should correct that statement.

and as this was his last year to win the Quidditch Cup for their team, he kept up a constant reminder of that. He began by addressing some of the reasons they hadn't won the last two games, due to unpreventable circumstances,

"See, that wasn't your fault at all, just paranoid teachers," Sirius said bracingly.

"Rightly paranoid," Lily corrected, "but I'll admit you're still right too."

but they had the best team by far of the school, stating the names of the three best Chasers, the unbeatable Beaters the Weasley twins, who kindly flattered themselves at his praise,

"Well they're not modest are they," James chuckled.

and their Seeker who'd won them every game.

"Damned straight," Sirius and James both grinned, having called this way back when Harry started playing, and still convinced until otherwise proven that Harry would never lose a match.

Wood finished with a furious pride staring down at Harry.

"Err, gee, thanks," Lily muttered, though she was smiling a bit too at how happy Harry seemed at such praise.

Then he tacked himself on at the end. Fred and George were quick to agree his own praise was well deserved.

"Glad they gave him his credit," Remus approved.

Then Wood carried on, reminding that this was his last chance to get that Cup before he left school, and he looked so desolate by saying it even the twins turned sympathetic.

"Aw," James and Sirius said with concern.

"Okay, now I'm really hoping you win this year just because of that," Remus agreed.

The team rallied, promising it would be an easy victory, and they began the team practices three times a week, with Harry now dreaming of that Cup himself.

While the boys were still giddy with excitement as well, Sirius was personally hoping this match got put off for another two chapters, feeling it was high time he got his Quidditch game.

Harry returned from one particularly wet flying practice to find Ron and Hermione eagerly looking over something, a flyer stating when their first Hogsmeade trip would be.

Harry went from pent up excitement at the prospect of winning the Cup like he so dearly hoped, to disgruntled at once. In all the excitement of finding out Sirius and Remus were alive, right now he was more than distracted by the matter, but he knew his thirteen year old self would still be beyond upset at this turn of events.

Which would be taking place on Halloween.

Then the four of them winced, having a rather bad track record of that holiday in their opinion, but still more than convinced nothing too bad could happen to Harry this year, or any more years for that matter. Remus and Sirius would get this whole mess figured out, why they hadn't already was still too touchy for anyone to bring up. The point was Harry now had two great protectors who wouldn't let anything too bad happen to him again.

Hermione caught sight of Harry's down turn of a mood, and tried to sooth him he might could go on the next one,

"Did someone magically sign his form?" Lily asked redundantly.

that Black was sure to be caught sooner rather than later.

Sirius winced, but still said in a forced light tone, "that's not why he's not allowed to go, come on Hermione should be able to keep up better than that."

"She's probably so distracted by her butt loads of homework," James reminded.

Ron brought up the old argument that Black wasn't stupid enough to try anything in such a public place like Hogsmeade,

Sirius was making goofy faces at the baby again and refusing to allow himself to react negatively to this continued topic.

telling Harry he should still ask McGonagall if he can go anyways.

"She'll say no every stinking time," James grumbled, "because he doesn't have his stupid form."

Hermione told Ron off for that, saying Harry was supposed to be staying inside.

"They really can't keep him locked up forever," Remus rolled his eyes.

Ron pointed out Harry would literally be the only person who couldn't go, and Harry agreed he'd at least try his head of house. Hermione looked about arguing,

"Argue what?" Lily demanded.

"That I shouldn't," Harry shrugged.

"Hermione's being a bit paranoid this year," Sirius noted, "really, I'm with Remus, she can't expect you to stay cooped up forever."

but was cut off by her cat jumping into her lap, a pre killed spider clamped in its mouth. Ron looked disgusted as his yellow eyes watched Ron while he ate it up.

James couldn't help but snort with laughter at that, the cat was hardly being subtle about its feelings towards Ron.

He told Hermione to keep the cat away from him, he had Scabbers stowed away in his bag. Harry wasn't paying them much attention as he began to dig out his homework, but Ron pushed his finished copy towards his friend.

"Not going to say anything Lily?" Sirius asked, still trying to get a provocation out of her, and being more amused the longer this went on. She was trying so hard not to react to anything.

"No," Lily shrugged without looking up, "I'm not perfect, and I'll willingly admit I had to sometimes get help from others on some homework. I think Harry should have tried first, but there's nothing for it now."

Harry wasn't the only one who gave her a surprised look at that, but he did look the most grateful.

Hermione may have said something about this as well, but then Crookshanks pounced on Ron's bag, claws extended.

"Dang," Remus winced, "is he still after Scabbers?"

"Apparently," James grumbled, feeling all the more annoyed at both cat and girl now.

Ron tried to wrench his bag away, and Hermione told him not to hurt her cat.

"Really?" Sirius demanded. "He's trying to eat Ron's pet, and that's her response."

"Both of them need to learn to keep their pets separated," Lily agreed.

"Kind of hard to do when they spend so much time together," Harry sighed.

Everyone in the room was watching as Ron flung his bag hard, trying to dislodge Crookshanks, but instead sent Scabbers flying away.

"Uh oh," they all muttered, knowing Scabbers was much safer in Ron's bag, not that the rat could understand that.

Ron tried to grab up the feline, but missed, and yelled at someone to catch him! George made a swipe for his tail, but missed.

"Good thing he's not a Chaser then," Sirius muttered without any real humor, feeling just as uneasy as anyone else at how this might turn out.

The rat made quick work of darting between everything and flashed under a wooden chest.

"Where the cat hopefully can't follow," Remus nodded happily.

Crookshanks tried to follow, smashing his face as low as possible and batting at the available carpet, but then the owners arrived as Hermione pulled him into her arms, and Ron had to shove his arm clear up to his elbow to pull Scabbers out by his bald tail.

"At least that went better than I feared," Lily sighed in relief.

"Yeah, but how many more times is it going to happen," James was still frowning, "Hermione should have realized it was a bad idea to buy that particular cat back when this happened before."

None of them could think of anything else to say, all having a very bad feeling this was going to get worse before it got better.

Ron was yelling at Hermione already, saying that cat was slowly killing his rat from stress! Hermione shot back that it wasn't Crookshanks fault, it was in his nature.

"True," Lily nodded, "but she should have thought of that back when she bought him, and not bought him."

"Buying a cat when one of your best friends owns a rat feels like a recipe for disaster," Remus agreed.

Ron insisted it was Hermione's cat though, how it had heard him say Scabbers was in his pack.

"Now he's just being a little ridiculous," Sirius smirked. "'Heard'? Nah, he smelt him obviously."

"Not the point," James reminded.

Hermione told him he was being ridiculous, but Ron wouldn't hear it, telling her off that Scabbers was sick and here first!

"A very good point," Lily huffed, while Remus cocked his head to the side, thinking over that sentence. Scabbers had been getting sick before Hermione bought Crookshanks, so Ron was obviously exaggerating that part as well. This also couldn't be the first time Scabbers had interacted with a cat; surely some other Gryffindor owned one. The truth probably was; Scabbers was getting old, and Ron was projecting his fear of his pet dying of old age on his hatred of the cat.

Then he stamped off towards the stairs, and refused to come down until next morning's class, Herbology, where Hermione's first question was to ask how Scabbers was doing?

"At least she asks," James said still a little stiffly.

"Hermione cares," Lily snipped at him for the tone, "perhaps she's not showing it that well, but it's not like she set that cat on Scabbers on purpose. She'd be just as upset if an accident did happen and Crookshanks ate him."

James backed off slightly, noting that at least Hermione's asking was an attempt at the start of an apology.

Ron snapped that he was cowering at the foot of his bed, while knocking over a tin of beans in his rage.

"And Ron's clearly still holding a grudge," Sirius noted.

Sprout told him off for that, as he ruined a whole plantation that sprouted to life as they watched.

Harry's startled look was enough to make the others laugh, never getting tired of his constant surprise of the magical world.

On the way to Transfiguration, Harry was stewing over how to ask McGonagall if he could go into Hogsmeade

"Know the answer to that already," Remus sighed.

"He's got a point," James nodded when Harry looked like he might try and argue his point. "Unless you outright tell McGonagall why they hadn't signed, which by your track record you won't," he finished in a rather grumpy tone.

Harry sighed, knowing full well he'd never tell a teacher something like that, so remained silent and hoped anyways.

but was distracted outside of the class by Lavender in tears.

"Oh no," Lily frowned in concern.

"She's a girl," Sirius scoffed, "I'm sure she's just exaggerating."

"And here I thought you actually had a heart," Lily snapped at him at once, ignoring his eye roll. Whether he meant it or not, he really needed to stop making jokes like that.

Parvati was clearly trying to comfort her while talking to Dean and Seamus, who looked rather serious.

"Shut it Sirius," Lily snapped at him before he could open his mouth.

Sirius pouted at her, grumbling that she was kind of proving his point about how dramatic girls were, but then James nudged him and convinced him to let it go.

When the three of them approached, Parvati explained for them that Lavender had gotten a letter from home saying that her rabbit had been eaten by a fox.

"Aw," Sirius winced, "okay, poor kid."

"Thank you," Lily acknowledged.

Sirius made sure she could see his eye roll this time, stating, "come on Lils, I'm not heartless. I own an owl; I'd be pretty upset if anything happened to him too."

Lily still didn't think he'd gotten her point, that he shouldn't have made the joke in the first place, but decided to let it go.

Lavender was wailing that she shouldn't even be surprised, today of all days! It was October sixteenth, and the thing she'd been dreading happened, she was right!

"Oh crap," Remus said, blinking in shock.

"I'd honestly forgotten about that," James admitted.

"Wow, honestly, I think that Trelawney might have some real Seer's blood," Sirius said in surprise.

"Really Sirius? One right prediction and that's what you go with?" Lily asked, not bothering to try and hide her disbelief.

Sirius shrugged, personally he found the odds that not only had she chosen the death omen that was dogging Harry this year, but now this? No, he truly was beginning to believe this woman might really have a power, even if she did still annoy him for her use of it on his pup. He said as much aloud, and while he didn't really seem to convince anyone but Harry, the others found the argument to become rather circular after a time. Sirius wasn't letting up and he wasn't convincing anyone else so Lily decided to forcefully read on past him.

The rest of the class looked shocked and downed at the news, but Hermione began hesitantly asking if Lavender had really feared her rabbit Binky being killed by a fox? Lavender stuttered that it wasn't a fox exactly, but she'd feared for him! Hermione then asked if Binky was an older rabbit.

"Really Hermione?" Remus said with a frown. "Now, really?"

"I can see what she's trying to do," Lily nodded in agreement with both the girl and Remus, "but, yeah, wrong time and place."

Lavender moaned back that he was just a baby. Hermione then asked why she was so afraid of him dying. Parvati was now giving Hermione a dirty look.

"A fair reaction honestly," James sighed.

Hermione turned away from her and began addressing everyone as she pointed out that Binky hadn't even died on this day, but Lavender had just gotten the news of it.

"Harry, now would be the time to be a good friend and drag Hermione away," Remus pointed out.

"Before she continues making an arse out of herself like this," Sirius agreed. While he still would have argued the point on the probability of this happening on this day, he more than agreed Hermione wasn't doing it the right way.

Harry just sighed, he'd only observed the scene and hadn't really put an opinion on the matter, but he had felt rather bad for his friend as the rest of the class had been giving her harsh looks.

Plus, Lavender couldn't have been too surprised, since she was so stunned by the news.

"Now that was just tactless," Lily winced.

Ron cut in, telling Lavender to ignore Hermione, since she held no regards for how other people felt about their pets.

"And that was just heartless," Remus huffed.

McGonagall arrived then, cutting off a haughty glare between the two normally friends.

"Finally I can count on her good timing again," Sirius said weakly, more than happy himself to have avoided that fight, and they weren't even his friends.

They marched into class and sat on either side of Harry without looking at each other, and remained this way until class let out. It was McGonagall herself though that brought up the Hogsmeade trip, reminding that no one was allowed entrance without a form. Neville raised his hand hesitantly, beginning to explain he lost his,

"Ouch," all five of them winced, though none of them would admit rather selfishly pleased if Neville wouldn't be permitted to go either. They could hardly get mad at Hermione and Ron for wanting to go, but it would certainly make them feel a little better if Harry wasn't left behind on this.

but McGonagall explained that Neville's grandmother had mailed it to her personally.

"Smart woman at least," Lily said aloud, ignoring the internal wince.

Then she dismissed the class, and Ron told Harry to go and talk to her. Hermione tried to say something,

"Still don't understand why she's arguing that one," Lily shook her head in disbelief. "Harry deserves to have a little fun."

but Ron cut her off by insisting Harry should try. Harry went up to McGonagall's desk, and began to explain that his relatives had forgotten to sign his permission form,

"Forgot," the four of them muttered in disgust, eying Harry in disbelief. They honestly wondered if Harry had told her what really happened if she would have done something about it, but they couldn't say they were surprised at this point either. Harry's bad habit of glossing over this clearly hadn't gotten any better now that he was older.

but stuttering out by asking if he could still go anyways?

"And stammering on top of everything," Remus sighed.

"I could already tell her answer from the look on her face before I finished," Harry sighed.

McGonagall replied as expected, telling him that no form meant no visit, it was a rule. Harry tried to protest, saying that his muggle relatives hadn't understood it,

"That's what you're going with," Lily groaned, "just tell her the truth, and let's sit back and see how quickly they continue living."

Harry gave her a rather edgy look for her tone of voice but chose not to comment on that.

but if McGonagall gave him permission- she cut him off by saying she wasn't going to. The form stated it had to be Harry's parent or guardian.

"And now I want to cry," Sirius hissed, looking far more deadly than upset in that moment at that stupid reminder they were all Harry had to claim as guardian right then.

Then she gave Harry an odd look, which sort of resembled pity.

"I'd like to think more like confusion," Remus huffed, "since she'd probably be wondering why you really hadn't gotten your form signed."

"With any luck she'll bring it up to you, and you'll investigate," Sirius murmured to him, causing a vindictive smirk to appear on both of their faces.

Then she told them to get along to their next class, and once they were gone Ron spent the time walking calling McGonagall a couple of things that annoyed Hermione.

"The worst part is, McGonagall's still in the right," Lily sighed.

Said girl had a look on her face though that made it clear this was the best outcome, only angering Ron further.

"Yeah, she's not exactly being helpful this year," James sighed.

As the weeks crept on and this was the sole topic of everyone's conversation though, Ron tried to cheer Harry up that at least they would enjoy the holiday feast.

"Not exactly the worst consolation prize," Sirius offered bracingly, and Harry tried his best to give him a smile he didn't really feel.

The rest of the Gryffindors tried to cheer up Harry as well when they found out, Dean offering to forge someone's signature as he was a pretty good artist,

"Now there's an idea," James said, going bright-eyed.

"Except that Harry just got done saying he hadn't had his form signed," Remus reminded.

"Harry could have mailed it back and had it signed," Sirius said, mind now churning with possibility as he came up with a story for this. "He shouldn't give it to her until the day before, gives some credibility to the idea, and he'd have to mail himself something that looks like that in case McGonagall notices how often he gets mail. Most likely she doesn't, but it's a safe backup."

"You are putting way too much thought into this," Lily told him.

"Nonsense," Sirius scoffed at the same time James said, "no such thing."

While Harry didn't disagree with them, he had a sinking feeling that all of Sirius' planning didn't actually come true then, and hardly looked happy about it as Lily read.

Harry turned down the idea though, reminding he'd told McGonagall he hadn't had anyone sign it.

"Well dang, clearly no one in your dorm thinks outside the box," Remus sighed.

"Wish you'd go to the twins for help," James grumbled, "they could sneak you in no problem."

Harry perked up suddenly, his dad's words finally gave him that feeling he'd been missing, and he had a very good feeling this just might be what happened at some point. Still too worried about being wrong on the matter though, he didn't say this.

Ron offered for him to use the invisibility cloak,

"Which might have worked if not for those bloody dementors," Sirius grimaced.

but then Hermione reminded they didn't work on dementors. Percy offered the least helpful advice of all.

"Oh this can't be good," James groaned.

Telling Harry that everyone made a big deal about Hogsmeade in a serious tone of voice,

"Not as Seriously as I could have," Sirius said quickly, clutching the baby to his chest to prevent either of his friends from smacking him.

"You shouldn't be allowed to do that," James grumbled, looking rather disappointed that he didn't have a chance to get at him.

"I think I should claim rights," Remus huffed, eyeing the baby, "you've been holding him long enough."

"I might share if you didn't look like you were about to slap me once I did," Sirius smirked.

listing some of things that were worth seeing, but then adding on at the end that it wasn't that much fun.

"He only listed like a fourth of the good stuff," James huffed under his breath, making sure Harry didn't hear that one so he really wouldn't feel worse.

Halloween dawned with Harry feeling the lowest he had in a long time, but he attempted to act normally, though unable to fool his friends as Hermione promised to bring him back loads of sweets, while Ron agreed. They'd clearly put the fight over their pets aside in favor of trying to make Harry feel better.

"That's when you know you have some good friends," Sirius smiled brightly, "when they put aside their differences for you."

Harry couldn't help but beam right back, trying his very best to smother how much he really missed his friends.

Harry tried to reassure them in an offhand voice that he was going to be fine,

"I get the feeling it wasn't actually an offhand tone of voice," Remus said lightly, "but good effort for trying."

and promised to see them that night. He watched them leave, with Filch checking names off of a list to make sure no one was getting out who shouldn't,

'Which was basically every third year and up, aside from Harry,' they all sighed in their head, but kept that comment to themselves.

and did his best to ignore Malfoy who laughed when he saw Harry wasn't going, asking if he couldn't stand the idea of going past the dementors.

"Of all the bloody rotten timing for him to-" Sirius began, using a bit more of a threatening growl than normal because of his depressed mood for his little pup being left behind.

Harry went back to his common room and went inside, only to find the place diminished to second years and below, and the few older students who had no want to go to Hogsmeade.

Harry grumbled something about he really couldn't picture that. Honestly the other four really couldn't either, it was never worth passing up an opportunity getting out of the castle, with permission the three trouble makers mentally added on.

He was just wondering what to do with himself now when Colin came up to Harry, a boy a year below Harry who always talked to him whenever he could.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about him," Remus said in surprise.

"Well he clearly wasn't dogging you that year, or he would have been mentioned by now," Sirius pointed out, preeing even more he got to make his own pun again and still no one could retaliate.

"No, thankfully he hadn't memorized my schedule again," Harry said in relief, but repeated, "but he still went out of his way to talk to me." He didn't exactly look pleased, but he had to admit this was still better than last year.

He asked Harry why he wasn't in Hogsmeade, then offered Harry to come sit with him and his friends.

"I don't see that as being at the top of his to do list," James smirked.

Harry told him he'd forgotten to go do some homework.

"Pretty good on the spot lie," Remus appraised.

Then he turned back around and left, with the Fat Lady calling behind him that what was the point of getting her up?

"Because you deserve it for sleeping in the middle of the day," Lily snapped right back.

Harry began wandering through the hallways, but didn't get very far before he decided homework wasn't going to help.

All four of them were wincing in pain, hating how truly upset and lonely he seemed to be right then.

Harry at least tried to keep their spirits up by refusing to let his own mood sink that low, he had a funny feeling he got some sort of interest happening to him on this day. Maybe he and Remus finally talked? Or he learned something about Sirius? Neither option left a very good omen for him for some reason though, so he still kept it to himself.

He didn't backtrack too much when he ran into Filch, who snapped at Harry what he was doing? Harry just said 'nothing.'

"You can't ever really be doing nothing," James said loudly, trying to get at least a small smile out of Harry again.

Sirius noticed at once and continued, "yeah, like technically right then you were walking, that's something. Or you were standing, that's something too. You can't ever really be doing nothing."

Harry recognized what they were doing and really did give them a small smile for the effort.

Filch said back that he didn't believe that one bit.

"Funny part is he actually wasn't doing anything wrong right then," Remus chuckled.

"Probably had another flashback to when he caught James like that," Lily pointed out lightly.

Then he demanded why Harry wasn't out with the rest of the miscreants buying everything possible to destroy this castle.

"He just thinks so much of all of them doesn't he?" Sirius snickered.

Harry didn't answer, and Filch told him to get back to his tower.

James rolled his eyes and pointed out, "it's not like it's curfew or anything; Harry can go wherever he wants to in that castle."

"Like that's ever stopped Filch," Remus pointed out.

Harry walked off, but had no intentions of going back there. He was now thinking of going to see Hedwig,

"At least that'll be something pleasant," Lily sighed.

when another voice called him back and Harry turned to see Professor Lupin.

"Yes!" All five of them brightened at once. Surely the fact that Remus had just called out to him meant he really couldn't ignore him this time! Why he had waited until now, months after school had started they still couldn't guess, but now would be the most perfect time to finally have that talk Harry so desperately deserved.

He asked what Harry was doing, in the opposite tone Filch had used.

"Well I should hope so," James agreed.

Then he asked where Harry's friends were, and Harry told him. Lupin watched Harry for a second,

"Remus I will give you all of the gold in my vault right now if you bloody ask him about this," Sirius said, nearly bouncing around in anticipation for what this could mean.

"And Harry actually tells him the truth," James noted.

Remus couldn't help the pessimistic little niggle that Harry had known him for far less a time then he'd even known McGonagall, so why would he tell him something like that? He looked so dejected Sirius finally gave up the baby and passed him along to Remus, which put a smile on his face at once.

then he offered Harry to come inside his office and have a look at his new grindylow.

The two boys refused to let them get their hopes down. So Remus hadn't started off like they would have preferred, but it was finally happening. He and Harry were completely alone with the best amount of time no one would walk in on a conversation that was so desperately needed. If Remus didn't get to it this time, they would know something was up.

Harry walked in to see an odd creature floating in the tank, green in skin color with spiky little horns jutting out of its forehead and trying to hide in some weeds. Lupin explained it was a water demon,

"I always get those confused with kappas," Lily said absently.

"Kappa is Japanese for cucumber," Remus said randomly.

At Lily's blank look he shrugged and said, "when I was first learning about them, I found that a random and interesting fact, so when I got to grindylows it was an interesting distinction."

"Okay then," Lily said with a shrug and a small smile, not having actually expected an answer.

telling that after they'd dealt with the other creatures, this one should be easy to handle, noting its weakness in the strong but brittle fingers. The grindylow gave them a dirty look and dug itself into the sand.

"You are the only person who would actually keep that thing in his office," Sirius snickered.

"It's not that weird," Remus defended. "Where else would I keep it?"

"In the staff's supply room, where all the other teachers keep their stuff, like live animals, they plan on using for class," James said in a duh like voice. "Did it never occur to you why McGonagall and Flitwick don't have a bunch of random animals around their offices?"

Remus rolled his eyes; he wasn't going to argue the point. Sirius only wished they had their own supply office for all the random beasts Remus kept bringing home to study, it was a wonder he didn't come home to find him cuddling in bed with a diricawl.

Then he offered Harry some tea, and Harry agreed with some lingering awkwardness.

Remus grimaced and turned his attention back to the child, hating just how awkward it clearly was for the two of them to be in the same room. He felt lucky Harry had accepted at all, considering the past two DADA teachers had attacked him.

Harry tried to catch his eye and give him a reassuring smile now, to prove he didn't still feel that way, but Remus was clearly ignoring everyone else in the room now.

He began to set up a pot, making the joke that all he had were teabags, but he'd heard that Harry would prefer that to leaves.

Sirius couldn't help but give a little surprised laugh, Remus had obviously been checking up on Harry's other classes.

He caught Harry's eye then, trying to suppress laughter as he explained that McGonagall had told about his first Divination class, and asking if he was worried about that Grim?

"I'm sure you two had a nice long conversation about him," James snickered, having quite the amusement at McGonagall telling Remus all the things Harry had been up to the past two years at school.

Harry looked mildly annoyed at this, not really appreciating the thought of teachers sitting around gossiping about him, but couldn't find it in himself to be to mad at Remus for this, knowing now that he probably just wanted to know more about him.

Harry admitted he wasn't, while considering thinking about telling him that stray dog he'd seen months ago.

"Now that would have been interesting," Lily said, eyeing Remus who did look mildly entertained at how that reaction would go. Most likely, if his assumption was correct, Sirius would have already told him that he'd seen Harry then; but he certainly wished Harry would tell him. It would help ease into the conversation they were all wanting to hear about Harry's past really being explained to him by someone who really knew.

He didn't though, wondering if bringing this up would only reinforce what a coward he was sure Lupin already thought he was after that boggart mess.

Which popped any form of happiness Remus was feeling, and he turned as if to quickly say something to Harry, who waved him off and said, "I know, you already said it now. I didn't know then."

Remus still didn't look very happy, but admitted there wasn't much else he could say right then.

It must have been clear enough on his face though, as Lupin asked if anything was on Harry's mind? Harry's first instinct was to say no,

Remus winced and began bouncing his leg in high agitation now, greatly amusing the baby at least though it didn't seem to be helping him now. He would never not hate just how little Harry seemed to trust him, Harry should have been able to come to him with any of his worries since he could talk, not this nonsense where he was lucky Harry was talking to him at all!

His emotions were written all over his lined face, so Sirius took pity on him and tried to put some comfort into his words as he said, "Let it go Remus. Yeah this sucks, but there's no sense in dwelling on this now that we're going to fix it." Sirius was still rather torn about Remus in the future. His actions were more annoying than anything; what could be holding Remus back, from stopping him from seeing Harry like he should have. But he'd decided to wait until that reason was revealed before he fully passed a judgment on Remus' actions.

Remus didn't exactly look comforted, but Lily decided to read on anyways.

but then he said yes before he could reconsider.

Which made them all perk up as if Christmas had suddenly been announced. It didn't matter what had changed Harry's mind about telling Remus, the fact that he was meant more to all of them then they could have put into words.

He finally asked why Lupin had stopped him from tackling the boggart, and Lupin said he thought it was obvious.

"No, sorry, not really," Harry told him, still smiling faintly.

Remus fidgeted around a bit, but shrugged all the same, still unsure what to say about his future actions.

Harry had been expecting Lupin to deny his actions altogether,

"Now that would have been just stupid, one thing Remus usually isn't," James noted.

"Usually?" Remus snapped without any heat, to which James ignored him.

but still asked why? Lupin explained he hadn't wanted a Voldemort to appear in class, boggart fake or not.

Remus rolled his eyes, he still didn't think this was a good enough reason to publicly deflect Harry the way he had, though his classmates clearly hadn't noticed, he still didn't like the way it had made Harry feel. Then Sirius leaned over and whispered in his ear, "glad to see you obviously still know him so well, even then." Which caused him to smile in spite of himself.

Lily was watching them curiously, noting the change in Remus' demeanor, but kept going when it didn't look like they were about to explain.

Harry was stunned not just because he'd partially guessed his actions right, but because he'd called Voldemort by name.

"I can see why you'd find that so surprising," James said fairly, "since, aside from Dumbledore, you've yet to see anyone else do that."

The only person Harry had ever known to do that, apart from himself, was Dumbledore.

"Whom Remus idolizes, so even if he didn't have his own brain, he'd still do whatever that man said," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Remus scowled lightly at him. Yes he was eternally grateful to the headmaster for everything he'd done for him, but Sirius had made it sound like he had blind faith in the man, which he didn't. Mostly. Okay, maybe a little, a lot, before they had read this, but after all the things the book had implied Dumbledore had done to Harry he wasn't one hundred percent sure on that anymore.

Lupin easily read Harry's face and said he must have misinterpreted it wrong, but it really would have been a bad thing if even a fake Voldemort had come to life in the school, it would cause quite the chaos.

"I can see that," Harry said fairly.

"But it still wouldn't do you any good, even if I had been right. You still should have had practice at it just like anyone else," Remus argued back.

James suddenly burst out laughing, causing Remus' annoyed look to double up on him. "What?" he snapped, his tone far sharper than Harry would have thought.

James hardly looked offended, or even surprised, as he admitted, "you do realize you are arguing against yourself right. How is that not funny?"

Remus paused with his head cocked to the side as he realized what James meant, then gave a wane smile and sat back and cuddled the baby as he gave up on the pointless argument.

Harry then admitted what he had been thinking at the time, dementors. Lupin found that intriguing, telling Harry that meant that he feared fear itself, which was very smart.

"Glad to see you agree with yourself on some things," Sirius snickered, causing Remus to stick his tongue out at the pair.

Then Lupin asked if Harry had really thought he wasn't up for the job of going at a boggart?

"Well you can't blame him for thinking that," Lily defended.

"Oh I know," Remus said at once peaceably.

Harry admitted he had, then began to ask about the dementors, but was interrupted by a knock on Lupin's door.

"Dang it," they all muttered, wondering who on earth could be interrupting them now when they were finally talking!

"What were you going to ask anyways?" James inquired.

"I was going to ask him about the effects dementors could have on people," Harry admitted. "Wanted to ask why I passed out and Ron didn't."

They looked all the more annoyed now, very much wanting Harry to be able to get that answer, so even before the person came in they were in a disgruntled mood.

Lupin called for them to enter, and Snape came in.

"Gah! Can't go one bloody chapter without wanting to hex him lately," Sirius snapped.

"What's he even doing there?" James frowned, "I sincerely doubt it's a casual visit."

Harry was just as curious as the others, thinking back and wondering why something significant might be fixing to happen, so eagerly asked his Mum to go on.

He was holding a goblet, which was smoking at the brim, but froze when his eyes landed on Harry.

"Try something in front of Remus you slimy little git," Sirius growled.

Remus couldn't help but agree this time, if he started in on Harry he'd have every reason to step in, though he somehow doubted Snape was that stupid.

Lupin greeted him pleasantly, asking him to leave the drink on his desk.

"Say what now?" James demanded, doing a double take on that.

Lily was looking down at the page, clearly just as confused as anyone else.

"What would you be accepting from him?" Sirius demanded, looking at his friend like he'd just declared he and Snape were the best of friends.

"Whatever was in that goblet I guess," Remus shrugged, looking just as perplexed as anyone else.

This was such an odd interaction, they were still pretty stunned and no one protested when Lily decided to carry on and hope for a better answer.*

Snape did as told, still watching the pair of them with narrowed eyes.

"Probably wondering if he's concocting some mad scheme with you," Lily smirked.

"He might have been having a flashback to be honest," James agreed with a laugh.

Lupin told Snape that he'd been showing off his new grindylow.

'Wish he was joking' Sirius noted sourly, wanting very much to grumble about how Snape shouldn't have shown up for hours so these two had a better chance to talk, or not at all preferably.

Snape didn't react to the news, telling Lupin to drink whatever was in that cup as soon as possible. Lupin agreed he would,

"Well I obviously know what it is," Remus observed quirking a brow in surprise.

"Wish you did now," James frowned.

then Snape added on he had more and it should be drunk as well tomorrow, which Lupin also agreed to, and thanked Snape.

"The fact that you two are being so polite to each other honestly scares me," Sirius grumbled.

"I'm just waiting for Harry to ask what's going on," Lily sighed.

Snape said it wasn't a problem, but Harry was getting a prickling feeling from the look on Snape's face.

"I don't like any look from him," James agreed, his eyes still narrowed suspiciously. Snape wouldn't do anything too bad to Remus in reaction to that Boggart mess, and Remus clearly wasn't bothered by the interaction in the future. Then again, Harry wasn't the best eyes to go on for that, as he might not have even noticed Remus' tells.

Then Snape left the room by walking backwards, still eyeing the pair of them mistrustfully.

"Be a little more scared if he was smiling," Sirius snapped.

Harry looked back at the drink and Lupin explained Harry's look saying that Snape had just made him a little pick-me-up. He picked up the goblet and gave it a dissatisfied look, telling that sugar didn't make it taste any better as he drank some and shuddered.

"But what is it?" Lily huffed, her eyes narrowed in high agitation that she didn't know the answer to that, though she couldn't help a sneaking suspicion of something it could be.

"Wish I knew," Remus answered with a shrug.

"I don't like this," James and Sirius said in sync, still frowning in concern that Snape might be trying to get some sort of payback at Remus for that boggart stunt. Then again, Remus didn't seem very concerned for this, in fact if they were hearing this right he seemed rather grateful to Snape for whatever that potion was. It was driving them all crazy none of them could figure it out.

Harry began to ask why, but Lupin cut him off by stating he'd been feeling off-color, and he was lucky Snape had done this for him when most wizards wouldn't bother.

Sirius and James exchanged wide-eyed looks at that. 'Off-color' was a kind of inside joke that Remus said when he wasn't feeling well around the full moon, and the 'many wizards aren't up to making it' bit sort of made it seem like it might be about the same thing. Had a potion actually been discovered to help with his lycanthropy? If so, then this was a miracle as much as it was mind-blowing. Neither voiced their suspicions though, wondering if it would give Remus false hope.

Lupin took another drink, and Harry had to fight down the want to throw that cup across the room.

"Can't blame you on that one," Sirius agreed, "I wouldn't trust him not to poison me any farther than I could throw him."

"He wouldn't do something like that right under Dumbledore's nose," Lily said at once, and all of the boys noted she had just so phrased that in the way she hadn't exactly said he wouldn't poison Remus. It was far from reassuring, even if it did mean she really wasn't exactly in Snape's corner anymore.

Instead Harry told him that Snape loved the Dark Arts.

"Which is not a surprise to me, I can assure you," Remus rolled his eyes.

Lupin didn't look very interested, but Harry kept going, stating that he'd heard rumors Snape would do anything to get Lupin's job.

"Glad Harry's so trusting of his potions teacher, really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy," James said with only mild amusement, still stuck on the potion itself.

Lupin downed the rest of it and made an ugly face at the taste, then he told Harry that he would see him later.

Then they all pulled a face remarkably close to how Remus had looked finishing off that potion, Harry noted, but didn't need to ask why. He knew they were just as disappointed as he was that their little talk was clearly over, and they actually walked out with more questions than answers.

Recognizing he was being excused, Harry did indeed leave, though still watching that goblet that still had smoke curling out of it.

"Ominous," James drew the word out, still giving the book a significant and haughty look.

Time skip to Ron and Hermione returning, looking like they'd had the time of their lives as they bestowed Harry with a shop's worth of sweets.

"Please, do anything but tell him what all you did," Lily sighed without any hope.

Harry thanked them for it all, then asked how it had gone, where all did they go?

"Well Harry's not helping anything," Remus grumbled.

Pretty much everywhere.

"And Ron and Hermione clearly weren't pulling any punches," Sirius winced.

They told Harry every detail of the village, all the shops you could go into, and their favorite the Three Broomsticks, where they swear they'd seen an ogre.

"That would have been a fun sight to see," James chuckled, remembering sneaking into there all the time just to watch who came and went.

Then Hermione changed subject to asking if Harry had done any homework.

"Oh yeah, he really sat around and hit the books," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, doesn't Hermione know him at all?"

Harry instead told them his day, and Ron asked if Lupin was mad when he heard he'd drank that stuff.

"That's actually a fair question as of right now," Sirius agreed sagely.

Remus rolled his eyes at him, stating in as sane a voice as he could muster, "despite my friends, I actually like to argue that from time to time." Even his own face though was showing his misgivings at this fact currently.

They were heading down to dinner now, while Hermione put in that Snape wouldn't have tried to kill Lupin like that, not with Harry sitting there as witness.

"Don't think Harry could really have done much to stop him," James frowned, "or known to do otherwise."

"I still kind of agree with Hermione," Lily said thoughtfully, "Snape's not so stupid to do that in front of someone like Harry, even if he didn't understand what was going on."

"If you're all done deciding whether I'm going to die or not," Remus pleasantly mocked Harry, the pair exchanging amused looks.

James and Sirius frowned, not finding that funny in the least. They'd only just found out he was actually going to survive, the thought of him being killed right now made them want to lash out at anything even slightly threatening. Whether they were right in their guess or not, they still didn't trust Snape to do a damned thing for Remus for any reason.

The feast was as pleasant as always, but Harry felt distracted the whole time as he kept an eye on Lupin through the night, who was acting no different than usual.

"I'll admit, I do find that rather comforting," James nodded in agreement, suddenly putting the date with the act and remembering all over again Harry's spectacular bad luck with this particular holiday. If something bad was going to happen to Remus, he wouldn't even be surprised if it had happened on this day.

Then he switched to watching Snape, who also seemed to be watching the DADA teacher with more interest then was called for.

"Please tell me you are exaggerating," Sirius groaned, "cause otherwise, that is creepy."

The show for the night turned out to be Nick showing off the way he'd died.

"Glad to see they still think that's funny," Harry said, trying to move on to lighter topics, and ignoring the mounting feeling he'd had earlier. He was still so sure something did happen today, but it clearly didn't involve Remus and Snape, so what could he be thinking of?

As they were leaving the halls, Malfoy got one last crack in about how the dementors missed Harry.

"That joke is still not funny," all three boys on the couch snapped, thinking this kid really needed to get a grip, or at least a new book of jokes.

They made it all the way up to Gryffindor tower, but met most of the house crowded up in the hallway. Harry tried to crane over heads to see what was up with the portrait, which was still shut.

"Did McGonagall change the password without telling anyone?" Lily asked in confusion.

"She's only ever done that to us, not the whole house," James disagreed with a frown in place.

Harry was starting to get fidgety again, instinctively knowing something bad was about to happen, and trying his hardest to keep that feeling suppressed.

Percy was shoving his way through, announcing his position for them to move,

"Yes, because that will make them move out of the way so much faster," Sirius rolled his eyes, thinking that even if their unlikely guess was right; Percy would know the new password at least.

but when he reached the front, he froze up as well, before hollering for someone to go and get Dumbledore!

"What, why, what happened?" The boys demanded at once.

Lily desperately wanted to pause and bite at her lip again, fearing that anything that made Percy upset couldn't be good, but read on quickly anyways for her answer.

Said headmaster arrived soon enough, and the parting of the crowd finally revealed that the Fat Lady's painting had been torn to shreds, little bits of canvas all over the floor.

James was blinking spastically like someone had just shined a bright light in his eye, while Sirius' mouth was hanging open in shock. Remus and Harry leaned forward, not wanting anyone to pause and try to guess what had happened, but encouraging Lily to keep going and try to get an answer already.

The rest of the teachers arrived with Dumbledore, and he quickly instructed them all to spread out and find the Fat Lady, but then Peeves arrived and told that would be a chore, laughing at all of them.

James was getting jittery all over, and keeping a paternal eye on Harry as he watched him continually rub at his temple, a sure sign something important was fixing to happen. Who, or what, on earth would have attacked that painting?

Dumbledore asked what he had seen, and Peeves put on an air of respect, even he wasn't stupid enough to mess with Dumbledore.

"Found the other person, besides the Bloody Baron, who Peeves won't mess with," Sirius said, but was ignored by the others.

He began to explain that it had started as a nasty little argument, and the end results was the poor woman running through paintings crying and screaming.

"Running from what?" Remus muttered, though not loud enough Lily stopped to acknowledge it.

Dumbledore asked who had done this, and Peeves told that of course it was none other than Sirius Black.

The book slipped out of Lily's numb hands and landed on the floor with a thunk.

HPHPHP

*I would just like to note before anyone says anything, in chapter eighteen Remus says that the invention of the Wolfsbane potion is 'very recent' which makes me think that it possibly wasn't even discovered until after the events of their deaths. So no, they really don't have any idea what Remus drank.

#Harry Potter #Fanfiction #Marauders #The Life that Never Lived #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #Lily Potter #reading the books

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imogenlefay · 3 years

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oooh, a ship game! tagged by @perfectromanceinmymind who i just started adoring more for reading Imzadi. ok, let’s get into this!

rules: Movie/TV ship questions; answer with a GIF; no repeats

1. First ship - Janeway and Chakotay (Star Trek: Voyager)

yeah, I KNOW. since i started my rewatch i’ve been complaining about how boring chakotay is and how captain mom - i mean mommy - i mean janeway deserves someone way more interesting. hell, i’m pretty sure i’ll be shipping Q with her over chakotay. and just see waht will happen when seven of nine shows up. ...but yeah. sue me. it’s THERE. it’s obvious. it’s just also very, very boring.

2. First OTP - Lily and James (Harry Potter)

so, i know, tons of issues with harry potter. but that was a fandom i was super invested in. ctually, not sure that’s the right way to put it. i was super invested into the books, waxed and waned a bit... and the funny thing is, i didn’t care about the whole harry-ron-hermione-ginny thing until i started reading fandom things and was totes fine with whatever was happening (actually kinda rooting for ginny since book 2). didn’t really care about these ships. but lily and james? from first finding out about the marauders, i was on board of that ship. also, snape was a creep and a horrible person, and a nice guy, and that was not romantic

3. Favourite current ship - Sebastian and Blaine (Glee)

do i have to say it? seblaine from glee. these two have barley 15 minutes of screentime, but the chemistry is just there. i still think they were set up to be at least a midgame ship that fell through when grant gustin was busy with the flash, which given the writing on glee and the insistance on klaine as an endgame might have actually been for the better, but there’s just something about them. if blaine’s in the room, sebastian’s eyes are on him. when sebastian shows up, blaine’s mood lifts. Just so much potential, wasted again - but that’s the glee thing.

4. Shipped from the first minute - Dean and Castiel (Supernatural)

sooooo, i won’t say they’re canon, but they’re half-canon and broke the internet. now, keep in mind, i stopped watching supernatural around season 8? the one in which metatron showed up, idk. it got so boring how every season another main character was the bad guy, the winchesters got more toxic, and of course, the treatment of cas. so i’ve seen from gift that got super toxic. but come on. i’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. best entrance ever, electric chemistry, gradually growing connection... i’m ignoring most of supernatural canon, but that was magic.

5. Wish they had been endgame - Barney and Nora (How I Met Your Mother)

my shipping history with himym is... spotty. i liked ted/robin, was fine with them breaking up, and reaaaally got into barney/robin. until they got together, were awful and broke up. sure, i blamed the writing, but that short stint killed my enthusiasm. enter nora. sweet, smart, confident nora who is not ashamed to admit she’s a romantic and clearly state what she wants, who calls barney on his bs and won’t let him walk all over her. and also, the first woman barney actually wanted to be in a relationship with. even with robin, lily had to bully them into it. i thought she was really good for him, and he was at his best with her. hated how she was pushed aside to bring back more barney/robin drama (who srsly brought out the worst in each other) still my headcanon that he runs into her again when he’s more mature, caring for his daughter. but alas, has to remain a headcanon. (also, it’s a pic cause i literally can’t even find a gif)

6. Wish they had been canon - Bashir/Garak (Star Trek: DS9)

sorry, not sorry. the dynamic between is amazing - the brilliant but naive new doctor, excited like a freaking puppy, meeting the mysterious spy pretending to be a tailor while trying to move away from his past. there is SO much chemistry, fascination, intrigue between them, even if they aare so fundamentally different. just... damn. except at some point midway they stopped giving them scenes. were they afraid of the chemistry? idk but i’ll spread the rumor. because we were cheated.

7. Ship everyone else hates - Ted and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)

i get it. the writing had issues. writing an endgame ahead of time can backfire. ted backtracking to robin again and again gets really annoying. the mother was seriously amazing and i still can’t believe they pulled her off so well after all the buildup. and the pacing of wasting a whole season on a wedding for a couple that gets divorced within like five minutes is awful. i know all that. but i honestly think they work. their first relationship was seriously sweet - nothing like the trainwreck between barney and robin - and for them to come together when the timing is right, they both grew and matured, and are in the right places in their lives... idk, they work for me.

8. Don’t even watch the show but still ship - Rory and Jess (Gilmore Girls)

i literally only know gifsets of them. they look cute.

9. Wish they had a different storyline - House and Cameron (House MD)

i seriously shipped them so much in season 1. their date was sweet, especially how before wilson told her to please not break house’s heart. but after the date, they just threw it out. i had some hope again when she left his team and returned as head of the ER, just cause i thought it changed the power dynamic and maybe they had a shot. that’s what i would have liked to see. that they work together occasionally, and he starts seeing her more as an equal and maybe build something from there. would probably been way healthier than the toxic crap with cuddy.

10. Actually endgame - Emma and Hook (Once Upon A Time)

oh hi, jennifer morrison, haven’t seen you in a bit. so, i also stopped watching once upon a time, as the stories got too wild and i never got into regina’s big redemption, which consisted of *checks notes* deciding she’s redeemed now and screw anyone who disagrees. but i did love captain swan. did not see that coming. like, sure, hook flirts from their first interaction, but i was against them, given how antagonistic they were. but come season 3 and neverland, and their kiss? and damn. they took chemistry, and actually built something from it, and this time, it freaking worked. which is rare. so yes, so many issues with the show, but these two? ready to set sail, captain!

tagging @blainesebastian, @seblaineaddict, @glitzgustin, @ejaycaswell and @liloandsoon, as well as anyone else who wants to take a spin at this

#ship game #star trek: voyager #star trek: ds9 #harry potter #glee #ouat #house md #himym #gilmore girls #supernatural

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moonyinchaos · 3 years

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no problem and i would really love to see what you wrote about snape so if its not a problem share

Alright, I’ll put the Keep reading thingy, because I think this will be a long one. If you’re not interested in my opinion on Snape, please, keep scrolling. We can have a constructive argument about Snape as a character, but I won’t ever tolerate character bashing (with the exception of Dolores Umbridge, Peter Pettigrew and Fenrir Greyback). If anyone disagrees with me, I respect that, and I would really like to know why :)

It’s so funny to write my opinion when someone actually asks for it! So here it is my opinion on Severus Snape...

I think that Severus Snape is one of the strongest characters; both mentally and magically. Possibly even the strongest one right next to Harry. He is really determined, devoted, self-controlled, but most importantly he is emotional. Of course, he doesn’t show it, but he is really driven by his emotions. The main thing which made him change was his love for Lily. Love is the purest emotion, and I don’t think it was an obsession. His patronus was the same as her, she was something what made him happy, something that protected him. It was just unrequited love, and that happens in real life. But you can’t just push an off button, and stop feeling something for someone. We can see him showing exactly how he feels in some occasions. For instance, when he was mad that Sirius got away at the end of the PoA. Or when he refused to teach Harry occlumency after Harry saw his worst memory. But let’s go back in time for a bit...

Judging someone according to something they did while they were teenagers, or really young adults is not really fair. But let’s start from his hostility towards the Marauders. It’s completely understandable since they were mocking him all the time, and without any real, valid reason. Even if they did have a reason, bullying is never justified. What James did to Snape in his worst memory is something that can make a serious trauma on a person. He, again, acted on emotions. He was humiliated, frustrated, angry, and he let it out by calling Lily a Mudblood. Was that right? Of course not. Did he regret? I think he did, until the day he died. But, teenagers say a lot of dumb stuff, and should never be judged by that. I would most gladly slap 16 years old self because of some things I said when angry and emotional. And with what he said, he lost the most important person he had in his life. I think that was the worst punishment ever for saying one dumb word. People often mention his invention of Sectumsempra. He invented the powerful spell to keep himself safe. Is it brutal? Yes. Could he kill someone with it? Yes. Did he ever? No by what we find out from the canon. Sirius, who is one of the most loved characters, endangered Snape’ life because of his teenage rashness, and lack of sense for consequences. The fact he literally sent Snape to transformed Remus was more dangerous than any spell Severus invented. Why? Because transformed Remus can’t be controlled, and what he can do cannot be undone. As we saw clearly, Sectumsempra has a counter curse, since Malfoy survived Harry’s experiment. If you’re judging Snape for inventing Sectumsempra, and using it against the Death Eaters to save Remus and George, then Harry is way worse than Snape because Harry used the spell purposely to hurt Malfoy. He could easily kill Malfoy, and then what? All the characters in the whole HP universe did at least one stupid thing, and we can’t judge them just because of that. Because if we do, write out Remus, Sirius, James, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, and many, many others as good characters :)

As we all know, Snape joined the Death Eaters. Kind of expected because, let’s be serious, most of the then Slytherin house did. Peer pressure is a nasty thing + Snape wanted control/power. He was naive to think he’ll get it from Voldemort, but look at all the people that followed Voldemort. Snape was among the smartest there, if not even the smartest one. Was that a mistake? Yes. And again, he did it when he was what 18? As I said before, people do stupid shit when young, and that’s a fact. Alright, he did really, really stupid shit, but it was a moment of naivety. If someone is judging him plainly on that, remember what Sirius said about the world, people and the Death Eaters :) From the moment he realised what he did when he told Voldemort about the prophecy, Snape did everything in his power to make up for that. He risked his life in various occasions, he lied to one of the most powerful wizards ever, who can read minds, torture, and kill people just for fun. But he did that for years. Snape always did exactly what Dumbledore told him to do, and even killed him, knowing that the deed will make him an enemy number one in the eyes of the Order. But he did that with a higher purpose, and on Dumbledore’s order. If Order wasn’t so judgy towards Snape, maybe they would know about this plan, and they would handle it better. Snape was a Death Eater for what, a couple of years, but he spent seventeen years trying to redeem himself for what he’s done. You can at least respect that. As my best Skyrim friend Paarthurnax wisely said “What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” :)

The only thing I can’t justify is his teaching methods towards a particular group of students. We never see Snape teaching a bunch of Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws, so we don’t really know what was he like in those classes. He is a mastermind with potions, and has a potential to be a great teacher. I don’t justify his behaviour towards Harry & co., and never will. His teaching methods were questionable at best, but lets take a look on who he “bullied” as a teacher.

Harry - son of a man who bullied him, and a woman he loved. The Chosen One. The Boy Who Lived. It occurred to me that maybe Snape didn’t want Harry to forget what was important in life, and since Snape grew stronger from being treated poorly, maybe he wanted to do the same effect with Harry. I think he didn’t like Harry in particular, but I don’t see him as having bad intentions in long term. Nothing comes served in life, and I guess that was Snape’s point. Teen James was pretty spoiled, and vain, so maybe Snape didn’t want Harry to turn into teen James.

Ron - Ron was to Harry what Sirius was to James. In Snape’s eyes, the same thing, and he deserves to be treated the same. Still, can’t be justified.

Hermione - I guess she really did remind him of Lily. The fact that Snape didn’t want to hear anyone call Hermione a Mudblood tells us all. Emotions got the best out of Snape in this one, since he obviously couldn’t really control them.

Neville - a soft kid who needed some strengthening for real. Well, not really in that way. Snape’s treatment was just too much. Was the fact that Neville was terrified of him good? No. But Neville got stronger, and learned to stand up for himself. And don’t forget, the prophecy could easily be about Neville, and if it was, then Lily wouldn’t be dead.

As I said before, I don’t support his teaching methods, and can’t justify them because it was his choice to act like that, when he could easily be someone better than that. And that is the only thing I don’t understand about him. Maybe Dumbledore told him to be nasty :’D And of course he was biased to Slytherin. I think that doesn’t need any arguments. I would love to see what Snape was like when teaching young Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs because I’m sure he wasn’t that bad. Strict? Sure. Snarky? Always. But I highly doubt he treated Cedric, or Padma Patil, like he treated the students I mentioned.

To conclude this, I think the anti-Snape fandom need to at least respect what he did because the man did some great things, and he was one of the main links in a chain that led to Voldemort’s downfall. Voldemort who was deceived by Snape. And as far as we know, Severus Snape is the only person in this world who did that long term (kudos to Narcissa Malfoy for lying to Voldemort’s face)! You don’t have to love, or like him, but he doesn’t deserve the bashing he gets. He deserves respect. I made him close to Gwen, my OC, to show the softer side of Snape. The emotions he hides, and how he is surely capable of them. I made him mentoring Gwen to show how he has a potential to be a great teacher. And I have a great plans for Snape in my fic because he, as a character, really gives an opportunity to make an interesting story :)

#severus snape #my thoughts #chaos speaking

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aidanchaser · 4 years

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero, @magic713m, @ccboomer, @aubsenroute, @somebodyswatson

Chapter Twenty-Nine The Phoenix’s Lament

He did not remember how to breathe. He did not remember how to move. Every part of him felt numb.

He had watched friends fall before. He had watched friends fight and die. He thought that he remembered how much it hurt, but he did not remember it hurting like this.

“James,” Lily whispered. He could hear in her voice how sore her throat was, how she couldn’t breathe as she spoke.

James had not seen Lily cry tears of sorrow often. She poured so much of herself into anger, into fury, into fighting. But now there was nothing to fight. There was nothing but grief.

“James, you have to let go.”

He heard her, but he could not answer her. He could not move his lips any more than he could move his hand. If he moved on from this moment, if he walked away now, there would be no chance of turning back. Standing up meant admitting that Dumbledore was gone…

“We had just talked to him…” James said.

“I know. But you can’t do anything here. You can help Harry.”

Lily’s hand slid down the length of his arm and she carefully pried James’ fingers loose. “We need to get Harry to the hospital wing,” she said.

He let her pull him to his feet. “What are we going to do without him?”

She didn’t have an answer.

Reluctantly, he allowed her to lead him away from Dumbledore. He realised the crowd of students around them had grown. From first years to seventh years, they gathered around Dumbledore’s body.

“They shouldn’t be here,” he whispered. “They shouldn’t see this. They shouldn’t… Lily, they’re just kids.”

“Hagrid will take care of it. We’re going to take care of Harry.”

James finally found Harry in the crowd, buried in Cedric’s arms. His heart ached. It was so disparate from the numbness, he wondered if he had ever felt anything at all before this.

Without Lily’s guidance, he put his hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry pulled away from Cedric and James saw, once again, just how much blood Harry was covered in. He had seen it when he and Lily had finally gotten through the gates of Hogwarts, but he was unprepared to see it again.

At least he did not have to see it for very long. Harry hugged him, and Lily wrapped her arms around them both.

“Come on,” she said. “Harry, let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey.”

“I’m alright,” he mumbled into James’ shoulder.

“No, you’re not,” said James. “Let’s go.”

Cedric took Harry’s hand and squeezed. “I’m going to stay and help Hagrid, but I’ll be up there soon.”

James was not sure if Harry registered this, but Cedric let go, and together, Lily and James helped Harry into the castle.

It was one of the longest walks of James’ life.

Hogwarts had always been untouchable. During the first war, things had been terrifying outside of Hogwarts, but inside these gates, Hogwarts had been safe. Voldemort had not dared to attack while Dumbledore was in charge. But James’ faith in that safety was now shattered, far more than it had been after the Triwizard Tournament, if only because of the damage to the castle itself.

The doors of the entrance hall had been blown off. They hung precariously from their hinges, splintered and cracked. The floor was covered in bloodied footprints and scattered rubies. James looked up to the hourglass that had, when he and Lily had left with Dumbledore that evening, reflected Gryffindor’s lead in the House Cup competition. That glass was now shattered, and Slytherin’s hourglass on the end was covered in a spiderweb crack, threatening to spill emeralds at any moment.

The marble steps were cracked, too, a deep gash from a curse cutting across the stone. There were scorch marks in the hallways, rubble where walls and ceilings had caved in, and blood — so much blood.

“Do you think —” James started, but he could not bring himself to finish the question. He could not bear the thought that anything had happened to a student, nor to Remus or Sirius.

Things had been so pleasant that evening when they had said good-bye to Sirius. They had promised to see Sirius at home, and had gone on to Hogsmeade. They’d stopped for a drink in the Three Broomsticks, because he and Lily had thought a few more hours out of the house with Williamson and Cedric would be better than a few hours in the house. They’d invited Dumbledore, but Dumbledore had said he would prefer the Hog’s Head that evening.

But of course, they’d planned that with Dumbledore, to give him an easy out without raising any suspicion in Williamson.

And after a few hours in the Three Broomsticks, laughing and talking with Rosmerta and each other, they had walked out into a balmy summer evening. James had been ready to enjoy a pleasant stroll with Lily regardless of the company of Aurors. But once they had reached the street, they had seen the bright green glittering Dark Mark above the castle.

They hadn’t said a word to each other. All four of them had bolted for the castle, only to be met with the same wards that had been put up to keep Harry safe. They’d tried to break through, but they were Dumbledore’s wards, and none of them had known what to do. Williamson had decided to go for help, but Cedric had refused to go with him; he had refused to leave Hogwarts.

And then, finally, they had seen something. Snape had come onto the grounds with Draco. James, Lily, and Cedric had all shouted for Snape to let them in, to tell them what had happened — but then Snape had dueled Harry. That was what had happened, wasn’t it?

James looked at Harry as they climbed the last set of stairs before the hospital wing corridor. Harry had said that Snape had killed Dumbledore, but that seemed impossible. James could not fathom it, could not reconcile it any more than he could understand why he thought he had seen Snape duel Harry.

Lily pushed open the doors to the hospital wing and they were greeted with a chorus of shouts and a few cries of joy. James relinquished Harry to the series of hugs he deserved. First Hermione and Luna, then Remus, and then Ginny.

Then Sirius shoved them all aside and set to work mending Harry’s face and any other hidden injuries.

Neville lay in a nearby bed, unmoving, but breathing. Regulus had found a corner to stand in, apart from everyone else. James was surprised to see Regulus in his human form, but unsurprised that Regulus appeared unharmed; he had a knack for staying out of danger. Tonks sat nearby, exhaustion etched on her face and a hand purple, bruised after a hastily healed break. Ron stood next to Madam Pomfrey as she treated Bill Weasley, who was only recognisable by his leather jacket and dragon fang earring. His face was a mess of claw and teeth marks. Madam Pomfrey dabbed something green onto the wounds. Whatever it was, the smell left a bad taste in James’ mouth.

“Can’t you fix him like you did Sirius? And like you did the claw marks on me?” Ron asked.

“No charm will work on these,” Madam Pomfrey said. “I’ve tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites.”

“But he wasn’t bitten at the full moon! Greyback hadn’t transformed, so surely he won’t…”

Remus moved to stand beside Ron and put a hand on his shoulder. “Bill won’t be a werewolf, no. But a cursed bite is a cursed bite. Greyback has found a way to stay partially transformed, regardless of the moon, in order to use his curse as a weapon.”

“Where’s Dumbledore?” Ron asked. “He might know something that would help —”

“No, Ron… Dumbledore’s dead,” said James. The words did not sound like they had come from his own mouth. He could not make them sound like his own thoughts, but he made sure to say them, because he did not want anyone else to feel the pain of admitting it out loud, and he did not want his friends to hear it from anyone else.

“No!” Remus’ face went white. He stared at James for a moment, as if waiting for James to admit it was a terrible joke. When he did not, Remus stumbled into a chair and buried his hands in his face.

Sirius’ went very still. The blue light at the end of his wand that pulsed as he mended Harry’s wounds flickered for a moment, then Sirius continued his treatment of Harry as if James had said nothing, though his chest heaved with the effort of maintaining control and, James guessed, the effort necessary to stay at Harry’s side, to not abandon Harry and grieve with Remus.

It was Tonks who reached her hand out and rested it on Remus’ arm. “How did he die?” she asked. “How did it happen?”

This, James could not spare Harry from. He had not been there; he had been trapped on the outside, unable to reach Harry, unable to reach Dumbledore, unable to do anything. He took Harry’s uninjured hand and held it, offering what little support he could.

“It was Snape,” Harry said, voice hardly more than a whisper, but no one had trouble hearing him in the silence that filled the hospital wing. “I followed Malfoy onto the tower. I thought…” Harry kept his eyes on his hand as Sirius healed his broken wrist. “I don’t know what I thought. Malfoy and I were dueling when Dumbledore appeared. Dumbledore protected Malfoy and… Malfoy said he used a Vanishing Cabinet to get the Death Eaters into the castle. He —” Harry paused, swallowing down a sob, “Malfoy called Mum a… a you know, and I just lost it. I tried to curse him but Dumbledore protected him again and Malfoy Disarmed him…”

James remembered sitting by Harry as Harry had recounted Voldemort’s return at the end of the Triwizard Tournament. He had wanted so badly to take the pain away, to hold Harry, to make everything that had happened go away. He was as powerless now as he was then.

“The Death Eaters arrived,” Harry continued. “I tried to protect him, but he wouldn’t let me. Then Malfoy accidentally cut me with the sword… and then Snape… Snape arrived. Dumbledore begged Snape to help and… and Snape killed him.”

“Malfoy cut you with Gryffindor’s sword?” Sirius asked, and began examining the blood that stained Harry’s torn robes. “Merlin, Harry, you killed a basilisk with that. How are you alive?”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked.

“The sword is goblin-made,” said Sirius. “So if you killed a basilisk with it, it's got basilisk venom in it. Malfoy could have killed you, Harry — he should have killed you.”

James was not sure but he thought he saw a brief shock pass over Regulus’ face, but it was gone before James had a chance to understand what it meant.

“Fawkes saved me,” Harry said, “just like he did in the Chamber of Secrets. He saved me instead of…”

Lily was the first to hear it. Her head turned away from Harry and to the open window, and then Harry looked too.

“It’s Fawkes,” Hermione whispered, and then James heard it.

The musical notes of a phoenix’s song carried across the grounds and through the castle. It was dull, distant, like the grief James felt. But the more he listened, the louder the music became, and the more his grief hurt. He squeezed Harry’s hand, knowing that it was selfish to look for comfort while trying to give it, but feeling as if he had no other choice. Then Sirius’ hand was on his arm, and Lily’s on his shoulder, and James knew they all were looking to give comfort as much as they were seeking it for themselves. That was just the nature of grief.

James did not know how long they sat there listening to Fawkes, holding each other, but when the doors to the hospital wing opened and McGonagall walked in, it was like a spell had been broken. The grief had seemed manageable while listening to the phoenix’s song, like channeling his hurt through the notes like water controlled by a dam. But then the dam broke, and he was overwhelmed once more as McGonagall spoke.

“Molly and Arthur are on their way,” she said, looking to Ron and Ginny, who stood at Bill’s bedside. McGonagall had her own scrapes on her face and tears in her robes, but she stood straight and resolute as ever. “Harry, you were on the Astronomy Tower, weren’t you? What happened?”

Harry looked up and met her eyes. It seemed, for a moment, he was seeing if she could read his mind, but finally he admitted, “Snape killed Dumbledore,” and it did not hurt James any less to hear it said for a third time.

The strength McGonagall had always carried herself with crumbled in a moment. Her hand reached out shakily towards a chair, and she sank into it. “Snape…” she whispered breathlessly. “Snape… but he trusted… we all wondered but he said… Snape… I can’t believe it…”

“He was a highly accomplished Occlumens,” said Remus, voice thick with anger and bitterness in a way far more characteristic of Sirius. “We always knew that.”

Not to be outdone, Sirius added, “Two-faced son of a banshee.”

“But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!” said Tonks. Her voice broke on Dumbledore’s name, but she managed to hold back her tears. “I always thought Dumbledore knew something about Snape that we didn’t…”

“He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” said McGonagall. She had pulled herself together just enough to sit up straight. She dabbed at her tears with a handkerchief before they could fall. “I mean, with Snape’s history… of course people were bound to wonder… but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape’s repentance was absolutely genuine. Wouldn’t hear a word against him!”

“I’d love to know what Snape told him to convince him,” said Tonks.

“I know,” said Harry, and they all turned to look at him. “It was Snape who told him the prophecy,” said Harry.

“What?” Lily asked, her voice hardly more than a breath. James was not sure anyone else heard her besides him and Harry.

“When Dumbledore heard that prophecy from Trelawney, Snape heard it too. He told it to Voldemort, or the bit he knew anyway. Then, when Voldemort thought it was about us, Snape went to Dumbledore for help. He’s the one who asked Dumbledore to put us in hiding. But I guess… that was probably all part of the plan, too. He just never counted on Peter changing his mind at the last minute.”

Lily seemed to be in a trance. She left Harry and wandered to the window. James could feel her heartbreak as tangibly as if she had placed it in his hands. They had trusted Snape, and though she had denied over and over that he loved her, they had both known. And, if nothing else, he had been her friend.

And now that friendship, that love, had been weaponised against them, used to convince Dumbledore of his loyalty. He had kept that love so secret that if Harry had not accidentally discovered it in Snape’s memories they might never have known about it. Knowing, though, only made this betrayal more painful.

James left Harry in Sirius’ care, and stood beside Lily at the window. There was nothing to see outside, nothing but the darkness of night.

“I don’t understand, though,” said Ginny. “Snape told us to get help — after Luna and I found him, he told us to get Professor Sprout. I… I didn’t listen. I went back to the fight. But why would he —?”

“To keep you out of the way,” Regulus said, and James turned away from the window, because he had forgotten about Regulus entirely. “I’m sure he wanted as few duelists at the battle as possible. He knew that by the time you would have reached Professor Sprout and returned, his mission would have been accomplished.”

There were occasions when Regulus’ words sent a chill down James’ spine. This time, though, it was not Regulus’ words that bothered him so much as Regulus’ tone. While each of them had been reduced to grief, rage, and disbelief, Regulus remained unchanged. He was as unperturbed as ever, and separate from all of them.

“I don’t think Snape even knew there were Death Eaters in the castle,” said Luna. Her eyes were fixed on one of the lights in the wall, and her voice distant. “At least not before Ginny and I arrived.”

“If we’d stayed to fight,” said Ginny, “instead of alerting Snape, then maybe —”

“No,” Tonks said quickly. “No, you can’t think like that. This is no one’s fault but Snape’s.”

“It’s all of our fault,” said Remus dully. “We all trusted Snape.”

“No, we trusted Dumbledore,” Sirius said. “We trusted Dumbledore who told us to trust Snape and now look what that’s got us.”

“Oh, don’t,” Lily snapped. “Don’t pretend like you’re somehow better just because you’d never liked him —”

“I’m not saying that at all, just that —”

“Sirius, Lily — not now. Please.” James squeezed Lily’s shoulder and surveyed the group of mourners. Though his own heart ached, he thought that if McGonagall was not going to pull herself together, and Alastor Moody was not here, then leadership in the Order fell to him. He could not let them fall apart, even with Dumbledore gone, especially with Dumbledore gone.

“We’re all hurting,” he said. “We all feel guilty. But Dumbledore wouldn’t want us to wallow in regret. He knew as well as anyone how dangerous that could be. We’ll grieve, and we’ll keep fighting.”

McGonagall dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief and stood. “Well said. We ought to —”

The hospital wing doors burst open, making McGonagall jump and reach for her wand. Tonks was halfway out of her chair, and Remus had already drawn, but it was only Molly and Arthur Weasley at the door, with Fleur Delacour just behind them.

McGonagall hurried over to them. “Molly, Arthur — I am so sorry.”

But Molly hardly seemed to hear her. She saw her son lying in a bed and hurried to his side. “Bill!” she cried, and sobbed when she saw his face.

Arthur moved more slowly, his mind clearly lost as he took in his son’s mangled face. “You said… Greyback attacked him? But he hadn’t transformed…”

“He’s not a werewolf,” said Remus, “but he’ll never be… himself again.”

Molly grasped her son’s hand, and Ginny leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder.

“And… Dumbledore… Minerva, is it true? Is he really…?”

McGonagall nodded.

Fleur, whose movements had always been fluid and graceful, seemed stiff as she approached Bill’s bedside. Her bright blue eyes were wide with terror and her lips parted ever so slightly.

“Dumbledore… gone…” Arthur did not seem able to take the information in with any more ease than James had.

Molly’s sobs grew louder and she buried her face into her hands. “Of course,” she sobbed, “it doesn’t matter how he looks… It’s not r-really important… but he was a very handsome little b-boy… always very handsome… and he was g-going to be married!”

Fleur’s shock turned sharp and she glared at Molly Weasley. “And what do you mean by zat? What do you mean, ‘e was going to be married?”

Molly looked up, shocked enough to pause her tears. She sniffed. “Well — only that —”

“You theenk Bill will not wish to marry me anymore? You theenk because of these bites he will not love me?”

“N-no, that’s not what I —”

“Because ‘e will! It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!”

“Y-yes, I’m sure…” Molly wiped her cheeks. “But I thought perhaps — given how he — how he —”

“You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per’aps you hoped?” Fleur’s anger seemed to burn white hot, and James was reminded of the first time he had ever seen Lily lose her temper, in a carriage car on the Hogwarts express.

“What do I care how he looks?” Fleur continued. “I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk. All these scars show is zat my husband is brave!”

Molly’s lip trembled as she watched Fleur, who now stood opposite the bed, beside Madam Pomfrey, eyes on the green ointment in the matron’s hand. “‘Ow can I help?” she asked.

James had heard Molly complain about Bill’s French veela girlfriend, complain about how they were rushing into a marriage, how it was infatuation and they had not known each other long, at more than one Order meeting. He had kept his mouth shut, knowing how he and Lily had married quickly after leaving Hogwarts, and now he was glad to see Molly set right by Fleur.

“Our Great-Auntie Muriel,” Molly began slowly, “has a very beautiful tiara — goblin-made — which I am sure I could persuade her to lend you for the wedding. She is very fond of Bill, you know, and it would look lovely with your hair.”

“Thank you,” said Fleur, as Madam Pomfrey handed her the ointment, and though her voice was stiff, a few tears fell from her cheeks.

James could not help but smile. At least, in the middle of all this pain, there was still a bit of love.

But then Tonks hiccuped on a sob. She left Remus’ side and moved closer to the door, arms folded over her chest. Remus looked down at the wand he had mistakenly drawn when Molly and Arthur had entered.

James did not know everything that had happened between Remus and Tonks, only what had been told to him. That information, though, had been filtered through Sirius for the most part, and he was not sure just how much of it was true.

“It’s different,” Remus finally said, as if knowing one of them had to say something.

“I don’t care,” Tonks said, and though James did not hear any malice in Tonks’ voice, Remus flinched.

“You know that’s not what I —”

“I know what you meant.”

And though Remus lifted his head to look at her, she refused to turn to face him.

“I don’t care about the things you think I should,” she said. “And I care about the things you think I shouldn’t. And that’s never going to change. I’m going to love you, regardless of whether or not you love yourself.”

Remus stood. “Tonks —”

“No, let me finish! I’m not letting you cut me off and run away and not hear what I have to say. You’re not doing that again. I’m getting this off my chest before you up and leave again.”

Wisely, Remus shut his mouth.

“I’m not asking you to love me back. I know you already do. But what you do with those feelings — I know that’s your choice. I can’t make you act on them, but if you want to stay friends, you have to accept that I care about you. Whether you deserve it or not, I love you.”

Remus said nothing. He sat back down in his chair and looked down at his wand. James would have liked nothing more than to comfort Remus, especially because Sirius was steadily keeping his eyes on the floor, but Lily was still gripping his hand tightly, and he could not let her go.

The hospital wing doors opened once more, and Hagrid walked in. His eyes were puffy and red, and he blew his nose into a handkerchief that already looked soaked through. Cedric was right behind him.

“I’ve… I’ve done it, Professor,” he said, and blew his nose again. “M-moved him. Professor Sprout’s got the kids back in bed. Flitwick made sure Travers is properly secured, an’ Professor Slughorn said the Ministry’s nearly here.”

“Thank you, Hagrid.” McGonagall tucked her handkerchief back into her robes. “I shall have to see the Ministry when they get here. Hagrid, please tell the Heads of Houses — Slughorn can represent Slytherin — that I want to see them in my office forthwith. I would like you to join us, too.”

As Hagrid left to get everything in order, McGonagall turned to Cedric. “Will you meet the Ministry at the gates and escort them in?”

Though Cedric looked ill at the idea, he nodded and left.

Then she turned to the Potters. “James, Lily, Harry, I should like to speak with you in private, if I may.”

James, Lily, and Harry followed her out of the hospital wing, and so did Remus, Sirius, and Regulus.

McGonagall hesitated for a moment, but nodded her assent.

James had gotten into trouble enough times as a student to know the way to McGonagall’s office without thinking about it, but they did not go to McGonagall’s office. Though they climbed the steps to the seventh floor, she led them instead towards the gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster’s Office.

James swallowed, unprepared to face the reality of someone replacing Dumbledore.

But prepared or not, he had to follow McGonagall upstairs. It helped to have Lily at his side.

Dumbledore’s office was hardly changed since James had visited that afternoon. The trinkets Dumbledore owned were still out on display, whirring and whistling. Fawkes was gone, but his song could still be heard across the grounds. The portraits were full, though they looked more somber than usual. Then James noticed a golden frame behind the desk that he had not seen before. Depicted in paint was Dumbledore, slumbering peacefully. James’ breath caught in his throat.

McGonagall eyed the portrait for a moment, but after a deep breath, moved to stand behind the desk.

“I should like to know what the three of you discussed with Dumbledore before he left the grounds this evening,” she said. “I presume this information is not a secret from Remus, Sirius, nor Regulus?”

James exchanged a glance with Lily. He had every intention to trust Remus, Sirius, and Regulus with the knowledge that Dumbledore wanted them to go into hiding again, but Dumbledore had warned them to be careful. He had warned them that Hogwarts was not a wise choice. Had he suspected Snape would betray them? Were there others at Hogwarts he did not trust?

“We’ll have to tell the Order regardless,” said Lily. “Without Dumbledore to help us coordinate…”

James ran his hand over his face, then pulled off his glasses to wipe off the smudges his fingerprints left. “Dumbledore wanted us to go into hiding again. He said we couldn’t trust the Ministry, and with him gone… I suppose Voldemort will make his move against Scrimgeour sooner, rather than later.”

“I shall get word to Moody for you,” said McGonagall.

“You don’t have to do that,” said Lily. “You’ve got so much to manage —”

“I will do what needs to be done, thank you.”

The silence that followed was uncomfortable, and James searched for a way to thank McGonagall or offer her support she would accept.

Sirius was the one to break the silence, and said, “Actually, I’ve got a question for Harry.”

Harry did not take his eyes off of the sleeping portrait of Dumbledore.

“Why did you take the Sword of Godric Gryffindor from Dumbledore’s office?”

McGonagall looked to the case the sword normally rested in and was surprised to see it had been removed.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Harry. “Malfoy left with it — I don’t know if he even realised he was carrying it.”

“It matters, Harry,” said Remus. “What did you think you would need it for?”

Harry continued to stare at the portrait, and would not meet the eyes of his parents, nor Remus and Sirius, nor McGonagall. He did, however, glance briefly at Regulus. “I can’t tell you.”

“Harry!” Lily said, perhaps more harshly than she meant to.

“Dumbledore asked…” It was Harry’s turn to run his hand over his face, and James’ stomach twisted at the similarity between them. “Dumbledore asked me to keep it a secret.”

“From us?” snapped Lily. “After everything that happened last year, after everything you said to us —”

“I know,” said Harry. “But I think if he wanted you to know, he would have told you.”

“That’s ridiculous! Harry —”

James squeezed Lily’s hand, hoping to communicate to her that they could have this talk later. He was hurt, too, by Harry choosing to keep a secret from them. But he knew that lashing out at Harry now would not help. He also could not help but think how incredibly grown up Harry looked as he stood before Dumbledore’s desk.

James remembered the end of Harry’s second year, when he had received news that Harry and Lily had gone missing. He’d hurried to Dumbledore’s office, paced that room for what had felt like hours, begging McGonagall to let him search the castle, let him be useful. Then Dumbledore had returned, and Lily and Harry had turned up moments later to tell them they had faced off against a memory of Voldemort in the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry had been covered in blood then, too. After Harry had told them everything and left, James and Lily had reaffirmed their decision to wait until Harry was seventeen to share the prophecy with him. And now here Harry was, standing before the Headmaster again, nearly seventeen. This time, Harry was choosing to keep a secret from them. James thought they deserved it.

“You should know, though,” said Harry, “that there’s a Vanishing Cabinet on the seventh floor that Malfoy used to get Death Eaters into the school. And he put Madam Rosmerta under the Imperius Curse. She was helping Malfoy and the Death Eaters — that’s how the necklace and the poisoned mead almost killed Katie and Ron. The Ministry might like to know about that.”

“Rosmerta?” McGonagall repeated. “But how —”

The door to the Headmaster’s office opened again. Regulus suddenly returned to his form as a cat, perhaps belatedly realising not everyone in the castle was a member of the Order and knew of his true loyalties.

Hagrid’s large frame provided the cover Regulus needed as he temporarily blocked the doorway, still sobbing into his worn handkerchief. He was followed by Professors Sprout, Flitwick, and Slughorn.

“Snape!” Slughorn moaned. He was pale and used a handkerchief to mop sweat from his brow. “Snape! I taught him! I thought I knew him!”

James considered replying that he, too, had known Snape in school, and he could see a similar notion on Sirius’ face, but perhaps it was fortuitous that they were interrupted by one of the portraits on the wall.

“Minerva, the Minister will be here within seconds, he has just Disapparated from the Ministry.”

“Thank you, Everard,” said McGonagall, without looking at him. She did not take her eyes off of the four professors that had entered her class. “I want to talk about what happens to Hogwarts before he gets here. Personally, I am not convinced that the school should reopen next year. The death of the headmaster at the hands of one of our colleagues is a terrible stain upon Hogwarts’s history. It is horrible.”

“I am sure Dumbledore would have wanted the school to remain open,” Sprout said. “I feel that if a single pupil wants to come, then the school ought to remain open for that pupil.”

“But will we have a single pupil after this?” asked Slughorn. He wrung his handkerchief in his hands. “Parents will want to keep their children at home and I can’t say I blame them. Personally, I don’t think we’re in more danger at Hogwarts than we are anywhere else, but you can’t expect parents to think like that. They’ll want to keep their families together, it’s only natural.”

“I agree,” said Professor McGonagall. “And in any case, it is not true to say that Dumbledore never envisaged a situation in which Hogwarts might close. When the Chamber of Secrets reopened he considered the closure of the school — and I must say that Professor Dumbledore’s murder is more disturbing to me than the idea of Slytherin’s monster living undetected in the bowels of the castle…”

“We must consult the governors,” said Professor Flitwick. “We must follow the established procedures. A decision should not be made hastily.”

“Hagrid, you haven’t said anything,” said Professor McGonagall. “What are your views, ought Hogwarts to remain open?”

Hagrid’s voice was worn and unusually thin. “I dunno, Professor… that’s fer the Heads of House an’ the Headmistress ter decide…”

“Professor Dumbledore always valued your views,” said Professor McGonagall, “and so do I.”

“Well, I’m stayin’. It’s me home, it’s bin me home since I was thirteen. An’ if there’s kids who wan’ me ter teach ’em, I’ll do it. But… I dunno… Hogwarts without Dumbledore…” Hagrid sobbed into his handkerchief.

“Very well,” said Professor McGonagall. She strode from the desk to the window that gave her the best view of the gate. James craned his neck and saw the Minister and a company of Aurors making their way onto the grounds.

“I must agree with Filius that the right thing to do is to consult the governors, who will make the final decision,” McGonagall said, “Now, as to getting students home… there is an argument for doing it sooner rather than later. We could arrange for the Hogwarts Express to come tomorrow if necessary —”

“What about Dumbledore’s funeral?” said Harry.

“Well…” McGonagall hesitated, but it was brief. She did not have time to grieve with the Minister nearly on her doorstep. “I — I know that it was Dumbledore’s wish to be laid to rest here, at Hogwarts —”

“Then that’s what’ll happen, isn’t it?” asked James.

“If the Ministry thinks it appropriate,” said McGonagall. “No other headmaster or headmistress has ever been —”

“No other headmaster or headmistress ever gave more to this school and its students,” said Remus in a soft voice.

“Hogwarts should be Dumbledore’s final resting place,” agreed Flitwick.

“Absolutely,” said Sprout.

“And in that case,” Harry said, “you shouldn’t send the students home until the funeral’s over. They’ll want to say —”

Harry was unable to finish the thought, but Lily did it for him.

“They’ll want to say goodbye,” she said. Her own voice trembled as she spoke.

“Well said,” Flitwick cried. “Well said indeed! Our students should pay tribute, it is fitting. We can arrange transport home afterward.”

“Seconded,” said Sprout.

“I suppose… yes…” Slughorn said, though he did not sound as confident as the others.

Hagrid’s agreement was lost somewhere in an enormous sob.

McGonagall let out a heavy sigh and turned from the window. “Scrimgeour is at the front steps now. I suppose this concludes our meeting.”

James took Harry’s arm and they all left hastily, a black cat trotting after them. He, personally, did not want to meet the Minister, and he did not want to let Lily meet the Minister either, with the temper she was in. It would be terrible for everyone involved.

They walked across the corridor and upwards, following the corridors to Gryffindor Tower. It was not intentional. None of them said a word to each other, but their feet seemed to unconsciously carry them to the place they had once called home, except for Regulus, of course, who followed regardless. They all stopped outside the Portrait of the Fat Lady. She was sobbing uncontrollably and did not look interested in taking any passwords.

“Harry,” Lily said, and for a moment, James thought she was going to ask Harry to explain the Sword of Godric Gryffindor again. He squeezed her hand, but it was an unnecessary warning. “We can take you home, Harry,” she said.

Harry stared at the ground. His shoes were still stained with blood, like his robes. At least Sirius had cleaned his face.

“I want to stay,” he said.

And this, as much as Harry choosing to keep a secret from them, hurt.

“Are you sure?” James asked.

“Yes. I need to… I want to stay with my friends.”

“It’s not safe,” said Remus. “You should come home.”

“It took Malfoy a year to find a way to get Death Eaters into Hogwarts. I don’t think Voldemort will manage it in a week.”

“Harry…” But Sirius did not have any real argument, or maybe, for once in his life, he did not have the energy to fight. He bent down and scooped Regulus up into his arms.

Regulus, unsurprisingly, leapt out of Sirius’ arms and down to the floor. He circled between Harry’s legs, indicating his own decision to stay.

Sirius’ face crumpled. “Alright, then. Figure out your own way home.”

James hugged Harry. “You know we love you, Snitch, right?”

“Yeah, Dad, I know.”

Lily hugged them both. It was a longer hug than James could recall ever sharing with Harry. He did not think he and Lily had held each other this long in years, not since Peter had died.

When they did finally break apart, Harry hugged Sirius and Remus goodbye, too, and the Fat Lady’s portrait opened for him without asking for a password. The corridor was filled only with the sounds of her sobs and the distant melody of the phoenix.

#hbp #hp #hp fic #everyone lives au #hp everyone lives

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araeph · 5 years

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Anonymous said:

Since HP is one of your fandoms, I'd like to know your opinion on typical questions: 1) what are your views on Dumbledore and Snape, not only the characters but also the way they are portrayed in the narrative? 2) what are your favorite HP movies and how do you feel about the way they portrayed the characters (in particular the leading trio)? 3) what are your views on how JK deals with minorities? 4) what are your ships, canon and non-canon? A favorite of mine is still Remus/Sirius. Thanks!!

1) I very much appreciate what Rowling tried to do with Dumbledore: have a wise, benign mentor figure to a child, who then has the scales lifted from his eyes when he grows up. It’s kind of like looking up to your parents as a kid, and then finding out how human they really are as an adult. I am also on board with Dumbledore having a tarnished past. What I felt was missing, though, is that Harry never got a chance to challenge and defy him—really mess up his plans—because at the point where Harry knew the whole truth, he had already followed Dumbledore’s predetermined path for him and the latter was already dead. Harry should have gotten a chance to tangle Dumbledore’s carefully crafted web because his belief system is perhaps evolving away from that of the man he once looked up to.

As for Snape, I wish his character were as dynamic as a lot of people seem to think it is. Is he an interesting character? Yes, but not particularly complex. I have the same problem with his heel-face turn as I do with Mai’s: he turns because the object of his affections has been endangered, not because his value system has undergone a substantial metamorphosis. There is nothing to show us that Snape fundamentally disagrees with Voldemort’s ideology pre- or post-downfall, even though he had 13 years between turning and Voldemort rising again to reform his behavior and beliefs. For someone who is the subject of so much heated discussion, Snape’s character is remarkably stagnant. (Also, those who believe that his abhorrent treatment of his non-Slytherin students can be justified by his being a double agent for Voldemort should read this: )

AlexFS: Parzival, that doesn’t make any sense. Snape was playing double agent. His job was to convince Voldemort that he was on his side and spying for him. Now, if you’re a spy for Voldemort, what do you do? a) walk and talk like a Death Eater, bully the Boy Who Lived, and snark at muggleborns, or b) do you play the part, gain Dumbledore’s and Harry’s trust allowing you to get valuable information to pass on to Voldemort…

Any sane spy would go for b). That’s what Barty Crouch Jr. did. He didn’t waltz into Hogwarts and let everyone know he sympathized with Voldemort. That would’ve been ridiculous. He played nice with Harry, even Neville for god’s sake, gained their trust, helped Harry out, and guess what? His plan worked flawlessly. It’s the same reason Peter was an effective spy for Voldemort: no one, not even Dumbledore, suspected him because he was playing the part.

Voldemort was happy that Snape was so close to Dumbledore after all those years, even if it pissed off DEs like Bellatrix. It was useful for him. He wanted someone on the inside. If Snape could say he was also close to Harry, Voldemort would’ve been over the moon. Voldemort wouldn’t give a shit about how nice Snape had to be to muggleborns if it meant gaining Harry’s trust.

Ursula: Snape was a double-agent.

No, he wasn’t.

Snape was in Voldemort’s camp, firmly and unambigously, until he learned that Lily was a target.

He turned double-agent to try to save Lily. He failed.

Voldemort fell.

After that, Snape was in Dumbledore’s hands. Dumbledore protected Snape, but on the condition that Snape would stay where he could monitor him. Snape agreed, not as a double agent, but as someone who was effectively a solidier on the loosing side of a war, needing the protection of someone powerful on the winning side in order to survive.

This situation continued until the en of book 4, when Voldemort returned. Snape found himself in a trap. Dumbledore knew too much, and could destroy Snape if Snape didn’t continue to toe his line. Dumbldore told Snape to play along with Voldemort, to be a double agent, while retaining the power to destroy Snape, have him sent to Azkeban like the innocent Stan Shuntpank, if Snape didn’t continue to play along.

This is blackmail. Dumbledore tells Snape “Do as I say, and I’ll protect you from the Ministry’s justice system and the horrors of Azkeban. Fail me, and you’re on your own against a wizarding government looking for vengince and scapegoats.”

Once Dumbledore was dead, Snape seemed quite comfortable with the new Death Eater regime, with the exception of a desire for revenge on Voldemort for Lily’s death. It is a personal vendetta, not the actions of a double agent. I can’t rememer anything in-text to suggest that Snape wouldn’t be happy with a Death Eater regime with someone other than Voldemort as a leader, or that he had any second thoughts aside from his pecular obsession with Lily.

Someone playing for the enemy against his preferred side, out of fear and blackmail, is not the same as someone voluntarily choosing to be a double agent bcause they believe the cause is good.

2) I actually like “Chamber of Secrets” the best out of all the movies, even though it’s not as visually artistic as others such as “Prisoner of Azkaban,” because it comes the closest to capturing the spirit of the book it was based upon. Most of the movies were unable to find the right balance between “dark and gritty” and “playful children’s adventure series”—sometimes literally, as the weather was remarkably overcast for the last 3 movies if I recall.

3) She didn’t. It was something she never contended with in a narrative filled with WWII analogs. Rowling’s books are now a generation old, and if her more recent work had taken the time to address these concerns better, she might have fended off some of the (deserved) contemporary criticism. Sadly, I think that ship has sailed.

4) I don’t ship anything in particular with Harry Potter, but Remus and Sirius raising Harry together (whether they’re a romantic couple or not) is one of my favorite alternate plotlines.

#Harry potter #hp critical #snape critical #dumbledore critical

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callumturncr · 6 years

Text

A Different Path [Sirius Black AU] - Part 1

Summary: Post-graduation AU in which the reader, Lily and The Marauders have just joined the Order of the Phoenix. As tensions are at its highest in the First Wizarding War, the reader, who likes Sirius Black more than she would like to admit, is framed for the murder of Marlene McKinnon.

Parts: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8

Gif is not mine. Words: 2k.

A soft whoosh signaled that she’d arrived. Stepping out of the bright green flames that had transported her to the Ministry of Magic, Y/N gazed around in wonder at the Atrium. Many wizards and witches poured into the hall through the many ornate fireplaces lining the corridor and in the center, a few feet away stood a towering fountain. As much as she wanted to go over to inspect it further, one look at her watch told her she was later than she would’ve liked to be on her first day. Heels clicking on the polished floor, she set off for Level 2 which was home to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

As she walked, Y/N tugged subconsciously at her new, midnight blue robes. It had been a few months since she’d graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and she missed her friends desperately (despite having seen her closest friend, Lily Evans, only last week). Her pace quickened with the prospect of meeting them all again and in no time, she was standing in front of the particular chamber Dumbledore had instructed her to come to. Straightening her robes once more, she pushed open the door.

The chamber itself was quite small for the Ministry’s standards and the paintings of previous ministers hanging on the walls dwarfed it even more. Y/N shuddered with the realization she could probably name most of them – thanks to her incredibly tedious History of Magic lessons back at Hogwarts. At the far end stood a table piled with food and hovering next to it stood a redhead she knew all too well, along with James Potter. A voice called out for her as she started towards them.

“Y/N!”

Turning around, she saw none other than a beaming Sirius Black striding towards her.

“Hello Sirius,” she said as she returned his smile. “You look well.”

Once he was close enough to see her properly, he stopped in his tracks. His dark grey eyes gave her a once over before an even larger grin came over his face.

“Your hair.”

Y/N rolled her eyes before nodding at him. It had taken Lily the better part of an hour to convince her to do something different – and permanent – with it when they had stopped at a Muggle salon so Lily could get a haircut. Y/N had insisted that there was no need to go in the first place, she could cut Lily’s hair herself but the latter had insisted using magic was dangerous, let alone wandless magic (which Y/N was quite accomplished at). Besides, Lily had said, you’ll be able to see the Muggle world, you’re always saying you want to!

One of Sirius’ fingers curled around the ends; now carmine red and bleeding up into black. Playfully tugging he said, “Pretty. It suits you.”

Y/N turned her head before he could see her flush and instead tugged his arm so they could make their way to where Lily and James were still standing. James smiled as he caught sight of them.

“Hey you two. Dumbledore is about to start speaking soon. Y/N here, have a muffin,” he handed one to her and batted away Sirius’ hand as he reached out to take one. “Piss off Sirius. You’ve had five already.”

“Have not! You wouldn’t know anyways you’ve been here the entire time talking to Evans–”

“Let’s find our seats guys,” interjected Lily and she steered James away, Sirius and Y/N following suit. They sat down near the front, joined by Remus and Peter. The latter seemed a little jittery which was quite different compared to how confident he acted at Hogwarts, she thought. As much as she tried to hide it, Y/N didn’t like Peter Pettigrew and she could never pinpoint for what exact reason this was. Always hiding in Sirius and James’ shadow, Pettigrew had vigorously cheered on their treatment of Severus Snape (the former two however had grown well out of their ways). As incredibly unpleasant as Snape was, no one deserved to be bullied, although taking Remus’ lane and staying out of it herself hadn’t been much better either.

“Welcome,” boomed the voice of Albus Dumbledore, cutting short her train of thought.

“I thank you all for joining me here today and for agreeing to be a part of the Order of the Phoenix. What we are trying to achieve here will be extremely trying not to mention dangerous; you will all be given as much responsibility as the Ministry places on its Aurors.” In her peripheral vision she thought she saw Sirius perk up because Marlene McKinnon had just walked in. Slightly late and looking sheepish, she slid into the chair next to Y/N, who shot her a smile before returning her attention to Dumbledore.

“As all of you know, dark times lie ahead. Lord Voldemort gains more and more supporters every day and has the backing of most ancient pure-blood families in the wizarding world. I advise constant vigilance to all of you and once again, thank you for your contribution to the Order.”

Lily was muttering something about Dumbledore’s speech but before Y/N could turn to hear properly, another voice called out.

“All the Hogwarts students come to me!”

It was Alastor Moody. Glancing around at her group of friends, Y/N was relieved to see all of them looking just as baffled. Slowly, they shuffled over to where he was standing.

“Dumbledore has placed you all directly under me,” he began gruffly. As he spoke, he looked around the circle as if sizing them all up. “These first few weeks I will send you to sort out minor inconveniences to the Ministry. I want no fooling around.” He eyed James and Sirius specifically. “I may send you on these tasks alone or with a partner. You will report back to me on whatever you find at the scene.”

“He’s brilliant you know,” Sirius leaned over to whisper, “Caught almost all of the Death Eaters they’ve put in Azkaban so far. Best Auror the Ministry has right now.”

“Black!”

Sirius’ eyes snapped back to Moody. Y/N froze, terrified. With his stark black robes and stiff posture, he reminded her largely of Professor McGonagall but even stricter (which Y/N didn’t think was even possible). While her old teacher had put up with Sirius, this was the Ministry and she expected Moody to be furious at him for interrupting. Even James looked at his friend with wide eyes.

“Sorry Sir, I was just–”

“Since you’re so eager, you can go to the first house Crouch wants checked. And take your friend with you,” he barked. His hasty look made Y/N snap out of her state.

“O-of course Sir. We’ll go right away,” Y/N gave a quick nod before pulling Sirius away. They walked at brisk pace, out of the chamber and back down to Level Eight where the Atrium was. Y/N gave him a light shove as he stepped into the green flames.

“I can’t believe you got us into trouble on the first day!”

As the familiar feeling of being forced through a sinkhole engulfed them both, she thought she heard him laughing.

“How was your holiday?” she asked as they walked.

“Very good actually. Better now that we don’t have school anymore and I didn’t have to go back to see my family,” answered Sirius, smiling bitterly.

Y/N nodded and then to diffuse some tension, poked Sirius in the side and added, “And because of Marlene. Lily tells me you guys were barely out of each other’s company for more than a few days.”

A blush came over his cheeks and he gave her a good natured shove.

“That too, yes,” he paused. “How come you didn’t come over to James’ that day? Lily said you weren’t feeling well but you wrote to me only two days before saying everything was fine.”

Y/N hadn’t gone because she had been unsure whether to join the Order in the first place. The shame had risen in her throat like bile with the realisation and there was no way of avoiding the topic if she’d gone to James’. More than that, she wasn’t sure she could’ve faced seeing Sirius and Marlene together. Of course, Lily knew all this and had simply made an excuse but Y/N couldn’t reveal this now.

“I… I just wanted sometime to myself to really think if… if this is what I want to do.” She fiddled with her fingers as she avoided looking at him. “At Hogwarts I threw myself into my studies because I was convinced the Auror career path was the one I wanted to take. When Dumbledore told me about the Order, I was hesitant to agree.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, what she told him. Sirius didn’t say anything and only stared at her intently, prompting her to continue.

“You guys knew immediately that you wanted to join, no matter how dangerous. I– I don’t know if it has anything to do with you all being in Gryffindor or anything but I just wanted to think it through before I agreed and...”

Sirius had reached out to squeeze her hand. The action startled Y/N for a second but she recovered quickly enough so he wouldn’t notice. “Seeing all of you guys again before I agreed to come would’ve made me choose this just for my friends you know? To be together with all of you and I didn’t want that to be the only reason.”

“I understand.” She had never heard his voice this soft. “And you don’t have to justify it Y/N, I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Y/N opened her mouth to carry on but Sirius beat her to it.

“It’s got nothing to do with houses either. I know you’ve felt out of place being the only Hufflepuff among us but your reaction was normal. I… I also reconsidered after agreeing.”

Sirius was glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, like he feared her judgment. Y/N tried not to let her surprise show on her face.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. This Order stuff is like Dumbledore said, Auror work without all the training and I didn’t know if I was good enough to do it. My mother’s voice in my head certainly reminded me.”

“Sirius that’s– that’s rubbish. You were one of the best students in our year – top grades as well as mastering non-verbal magic, you were the one who taught me remember? And you became an Animagi, albeit illegally. Even McGonagall said you were at the top which is very high praise,” he rolled his eyes playfully as she continued.

“You will be good at this, I know you will. And if you ever have doubts again just imagine the look on your mother’s face when she finds out you’ve gone and joined an organization that wants to protect Muggle-borns.”

It was at this stage she realized that Sirius still had not let go of her hand. Looking up at him, Y/N saw that he was grinning.

“That is a very impressive list. Do you often think of my accomplishments to know them off by heart like that?”

Y/N snatched her hand back and poked him in the ribs hard. Sirius’ loud laugh echoed around the neighborhood.

“Only teasing Y/N, you know how much–”

She cut him off with a huff.

“I think this is the house.”

Sirius spoke again before she could knock.

“Thank you Y/N. You how much it means to me. This is year is going to be fun.”

“Of course,” she replied curtly. “Living in mortal peril is always fun. I should know, I was a first-hand witness of your pranks.”

“Always the responsible one. Maybe it is a house thing–”

“Sirius!”

Chuckling, he raised a hand to knock and Y/N shook her head as he greeted the woman that opened the door.

It was going to be a long year.

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #sirius black x reader #sirius black au #sirius x reader #sirius x you #sirius black fanfiction #marauders era #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black fanfictions #my writing

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afaithy · 5 years

Text

A crinkle of Fate; CH:7

Available in AO3:https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896918/chapters/39941508#workskin

Chapter 7: What you want, what you fearNotes:

"Most people are always doubtful as to whether they are happy or not, cheerful or not. This is the normal state of happiness, as doubt is a most natural thing." — Yukio Mishima

Tonks return was accompanied- as expected - by endless gossips and whispers that the girl, very maturely, had chosen to ignore. Boreas and his gang had tried to harassed her again, but their attempts were either stopped by a teacher or by Sirius and James’s mischieves and she was more than grateful for it. Even though she knew Boreas was a git and that she should know better than to hear what he had to say, it didn't make his remarks about her grandparents' death sting any less. The Hufflepuff girl started avoiding the Great Hall and her Common room as much as she could, so most of her free time was spent in the library with Lily or Snape who-surprisingly - had kindly offered to help her catch up with the potions lessons she had missed; or in the owlery with Lupin who would either help her study or distract her with some friendly chat. Sometimes they enjoyed of the occasional company of Sirius, James and Peter. As day went by, the girl noticed that the veil of grief was slowly lifting and little by little, Tonks returned to her old cheerful self and things went back to how they used to be. Well, at least most of them. Tonks seemed to have caused an impact on certain Hogwarts students after all. The first one was Snape. The Slytherin potions prodigy was as irritable as always, but Tonks constant insistence to befriend him seemed to be paying off. The boy was less bitter and slightly more talkative; and, in very rare occasions, he’d even smile. When it come to his rivalry with James and Sirius, the three boys seemed to have reached some sort of truce. After an impressive and a little scary scold from Tonks, James and Sirius had stopped picking on Snape and Snape had stopped being rude to them. Their friendship was complicated, but it was there and that seemed to satisfy Tonks. Peter wasn’t much of an active speaker and he limited himself to follow anything that James and Sirius decided to do. Among the four Gryffindors, the one who seemed to have the best accord with the Slytherin, was Lupin. Perhaps it was his good nature or the fact that Tonks influence had already biased his image of Snape, but in many occasions he found himself having very enriching conversations with the black haired boy. As their relationship with Snape improved, the second change came up with Lily. The girl was elated about Snape having more friends and as result her, usual cold treatment to James and Sirius, was lifted - much to Jame’s pleasure. After a few weeks, the picture of five Gryffindors, a Slytherin and a first year Hufflepuff hanging around Hogwarts during free periods became a common sight. The months passed and the season began to change as autumn reached it peak. There was a little secret that Lupin hadn’t revealed to any of his friends yet. Each full moon, his wolf counterpart would sit under the moon listening to a cheerful Hufflepuff girl relate the stories of her friends’ adventures. Lupin felt a little guilty about keeping it secret. Especially when there was his fear that one day the wolf would be in bad mood and would try to bite Tonks, but as one full moon passed after another, he realized something that’d left him speechless. His wolf counterpart liked Tonks. He couldn’t comprehend those animal’s feelings, but he could tell that the wolf saw Tonks in a particular way. It didn’t consider her a threat, in the contrary, it seemed to enjoy the girl’s company. It was sort of possessive and protective of her to the extreme in which the wolf was willing to kill anything or anyone that could impose a danger for her. It was something he’d never heard about, and even after digging into all the books about werewolves available in the library, he’d come out without answers. No one had ever seen a case in which a werewolf would feel the urge to attack. Werewolves obeyed instinct and their human mind was completely disconnected from their actions after the transformation. Then why did the wolf seemed to retain Lupin’s sympathy for the Hufflepuff girl? “Wotcher, Remus!” Lupin had been too lost in his thoughts to notice the girl’s arrival. He was sitting at the edge of the window in the owlery with a book open on his lap. Sirius and James had probably gotten themselves into detention after setting a up Boreas’s cauldron during potions causing it to explode and Peter had been sprayed all over with the cauldron’s content, so he had ended up in the hospital wing. Being the only one with free time, Lupin had caught into Tonks’s habit to sneak into the owlery for peace and quiet. Tonks was looking at him with a smile. She sat in front of him and for a second he feared that the girl would lose her grip and fall through the window, but surprisingly she sat down without troubles and threw a small silver package. “What’s…?” “Muggle chocolate…” she replied “Dad sent me a whole box yesterday. You’ve been up into werewolf reading recently, haven’t you?” “Eh...yeah. I was curious about something…” “About werewolves?” “Yes…” “Can I ask what?” Lupin snorted. How about why I don’t feel like I need to tear down your throat when I’m a wolf? He though. “It’s...complicated.” “Try me…” she said biting her chocolate. “Do you think a werewolf could...I don’t know recognize people or feel some sort of attachment to them?” Lupin knew it was a stupid question. Wizards that were well educated regarding werewolves had never addressed this possibility, why would an first year student in Hogwarts even think about it? “I reckon he could…” she said thoughtful. Her answer came out naturally and without doubts. It was the way she always said what she thought without fear that made him admire her. “But...werewolves are tagged as monsters, and books all say that they are unable to recognize friend or foe. They only instinct is to attack and to prey…” “Books also say Unicorns don’t exist…” Lupin chuckled. “No book would say that. We all know unicorn exists... What kind of book were you reading?” “A muggle book...” Tonks shrugged “But that’s the point. To muggles it doesn’t exist because they’d never seen one, but to us it exists because we have seen them. Do you see my point?” “I am afraid no…” “What’s written in books is what the writer has seen, but just because you haven’t seen doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Werewolves aren’t too different from wolves, and wolves aren’t too different from dogs. So...if you ask me if I think that a werewolf could recognize people they like or dislike, and even feel attachment...I’d have to say I think they do…” “So… let’s put an hypothetical case…” “Aha…” Tonks replied eating another piece of chocolate. “Let’s say there’s a werewolf that hunts around the forest during full moon. One day he stumbles with a girl...an innocent and defenceless girl. His first intention is to attack, but the girl starts talking to him and his aggressive intent seems to die away. Next full moon it’s the same, and then the one after and so on. It continues like that and suddenly his human side realizes that the wolf….likes the girl.” Tonks seemed to replay Lupin’s tale in her mind and she smiles. “Don’t you have the answer already, then?” “What do you mean?” “That hypothetical case just serves to proof my point. Yeah, the werewolf was probably afraid at first...he wanted to attack, but when he saw she was harmless he let it go. It was like that for a while, and eventually, they’d become friends. It might sound wrong, but it’s like having a dog. The dog will idolize, not because you’re a human, but because you’re his master…” “But it is dangerous…” “Everything is dangerous, Remus. I’m probably more dangerous than a scared werewolf…” she chuckled “Don’t forget I almost broke your leg when I tripped over you on the stairs…” Lupin laughed at that. She had and Madam Pomfrey wasn’t too happy about it. “Even a werewolf deserves love…” Tonks whispered. “Even if it is a hideous and horrible monster?” Tonks looked at him with a faint smile. “Even the most hideous creature deserves a chance…” Lupin was speechless. Sometimes he wondered if Tonks was real at all. How could she be so...understanding? “Who said?” he asked her softly. “I did...and in a few years when I’m all famous and quoted around the world, you’ll have the honor of saying that you heard it one afternoon while you were sharing muggle chocolate in the owlery…” she laughed throwing small ball of wrapping paper at him. Lupin dodged the ball by using his book as a shield and let out a wave laughter. His concerns about the dangers that the wolf could represent to the girl were still there, but a new feeling had appeared with her words: hope. Hope that perhaps what Tonks believed was true and that he wasn’t the monster that he thought himself to be. “I don’t know how you do it…” he chuckled. “Do what?” “See things so...clearly.” “Ha..If only I did. I just have a funny way of seeing things I guess…” she smiled “Second looks aren’t as bad as people think, aren’t they? Lily said that you and Severus were practicing potions together yesterday…” Tonks rested her chin on her hand and blinked at him with dreamy smile. It was an expression that he had come to understand as her way of, nonverbally, saying: I was right, wasn’t I? “He was kind enough to help me out with a cleaning potions that was giving me troubles…” Lupin nodded “I was actually surprised that he agreed to help…” “Well, you earned his good favors. I heard you’ve been coaxing SIrius and James to leave him alone…” “I...have tried, but I doubt it was my influence that has persuaded those two…” Lupin chuckled “I’d think a certain Hufflepuff scold was the real reason…” “Oh….haha, never saw James and Sirius so scared, have you?” “Remind me never to make you angry…” “Remus...please. You’re the sweetest thing in the world how could you ever make me angry at you?” Lupin felt his cheeks blush at her unintended compliment, but Tonks had been busy petting her owl to notice. The boy rested his chin on his hand as his green eyes stared at the girl in front of him with a smile.

*** “She what…?” Sirius said coughing up the juice he’d been drinking. James jumped to his bed and bagan pattin his friend’s back amused. Lupin had just told his friends about his unintended meetings with Tonks during the full moons and the boys had taken the news better than he’d anticipated. “Easy there Pads...don’t drown yourself…” James laughed. “She petted you?” Sirius was astonished “What the bloody hell? WHat normal person goes and pets a random werewolf so freely?” “She thinks it is a wolf…” Lupin reasoned. “So what? Wolves can bite too. Merlin, that girl deserves my respect…” Sirius barked in a laugh “Here we are...breaking our necks trying to figure out all the animagus thing, and she goes in all her grace and has you eating from her palm like a pup…” Lupin glared at Sirius half heartedly. He’d hate to admit that perhaps Sirius was right. “I got to visit, Andromeda and ask her how she raised that girl...and then I’ll have to thank her…” “She’s...something else…” Lupin sighed sitting back on his bed. “Somebody who treats a werewolf as a dog and actually befriends Snivellus…” James smiled “Yeah, she has to be out this world.” “She’s wonderful...but it is dangerous. I can’t trust that the wolf won’t bite her…” “He hasn’t so far, has he…” “Werewolf can’t be trusted…” Lupin said shaking his head “I…” “So what are you going to do?” Peter asked “She’s ...well hard to control…” Hard to control wasn’t quite the word that Remus would have chosen, but if his fuzzy memories weren’t wrong, Tonks was definitely fond of the wolf and stubborn as she was, she wouldn’t let go that easily. Lupin couldn’t help, smile. Besides, how was he supposed to tell her that he knew about her night strolls under the moon?And there was also that conflicting part of him that didn’t want her to stop visiting him in the full moons. “Are you telling her the wolf is...you, mate?” James asked. “I...don’t know. I should...shouldn’t I?” “I’d say you wait for a bit…”Sirius said. “Yeah, no rush…” James agreed. Lupin sighed. He had never felt this conflicted in his short life. A part of him felt the usual horror that revealing his secret usually carried. The fear of rejection; but the other told him that with Tonks, it’d be alright. A tiny voice in his head keep assuring him that no matter what he was, Tonks would always be willing to accept him. “By the way. What about detention?” Lupin asked with a raised eyebrow. Sirius and James exchanged looks and broke into laughter. “You wouldn’t believe it…” Sirius said. “Snivellus saved our necks…” “Snape?” “Yeah, he persuaded Slughorn that the Cauldron incident was due to ...how did he say it?” “Boreas evident inability to follow proper instructions regarding the proper order of addition of ingredients and stirring…” James said solemnly “Slughorn totally bought it, so we were spared from detention…” “I think I might be going nuts, but maybe...maybe Snivellus is starting to grow on me…” “I hate to say it...but...I think I am too…” James said dramatically before breaking into a laugh. Lupin rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle. Tonks was probably totally clueless of the impact she’d had in their lives, but he was grateful about that.

*** Bellatrix bursted into the halls of Malfoy Manor ignoring the many glances from her fellow Death Eaters as she made her way into the inner chamber. She pushed the doors open with her wand and looked around with her dark eyes. A man with long silvery blond hair stood a few steps from her. His clear eyes judging and arrogant. The witch let out a snort as she recognized the man who had been courting her youngest sister the past few months. “Modest as usual, Bellatrix…” Lucius said with frown. Bellatrix glared at the man. If it wasn’t for Narcissa’s sake, she would have hexed the man right away. “Now, now...my dear Lucius. Let us not admonish, dear Bellatrix …” a voice said from one of the room’s largest seats. “My lord…” Bellatrix rushed to the feet of the of the chair and stares up at its occupant with adoration. Voldemort caressed her head in a way that resembled a father caressing his favorite child. Bellatrix picked one of his hands and brought it to her lips. “You’ve been busy, Bellatrix.” “My lord, I did as you commanded. I’ve sent a message to all those blood traitors out there…” “Oh, yes. I’ve seen…” Voldemort nodded in approvement “A clever way to send a message. You never disappoint me. It was a very careful pick, was it not?” Bellatrix smiled as she took pride on Voldemort’s words. She raised to her feet with a cruel smile. “It’s been a while since I sent a present to my dear sister. I thought I could use the occasion to send her my best regards…” “Ah...no doubt she received a surprise…”Voldemort said in a soft sizz as a large snake began climbing around his shoulders “Have you found what I instructed, Lucius?” “I am afraid not, my Lord…” Lucius said softly “The...creature is harder to find than we anticipated.” “I see…” “With all due respect, my lord. Why are you so interested in this….creature?” “Have you ever heard about Nyaphes, Lucius?” “I...I am afraid not, my Lord.” “Marvelous creatures. Elementals, as some wizards calls them. Powerful to the point of divinity. It is said that the apparition of a Nyaphes is an omen of change. They have the power to warp time, give and take lives…” “That...sounds intriguing, my lord.” “Intriguing? Ah yes….of course. Unfortunately, Nyaphes are scarce, very rare to find. They’re smart creatures, you see? But they’re powerful...very powerful. No one has seen one in centuries…” “My lord, if that’s the case...uh, is there really a chance for us to find one?” “Ah...always the questioner, Lucius…” Voldemort reply with a hoarse chuckle “There’s the case. A Nyaphes was seen here in England some years ago… eleven years to be more precise...” “Eleven years is a long time, my lord. How can we be sure that the creature is still here…” “Oh, it is...No doubt it is.” Voldemort said petting his snake’s head “I’ve spoken to the seers. Nyaphe’s only shows themselves when they bestow a blessing and they’re quite protective. They will remain close to the one who receives it…” “So...if we find the blessed, we should find the creature…” Bellatrix stated with a smile “Do you know who it is, my Lord? I’d be delighted to bring him or her to your presence.” “I’m afraid not, my dear Bellatrix. Not doubt the person with show up eventually, but if we find the Nyaphe’s first, it won’t matter.” “My lord, if may ask. What do you want this...creature for?” Lucius asked. “You dare question, our Lord’s plans?” Bellatrix snapped at him. “Of course not. Never...but I am curious of what could have caught our lords attention.” “Ah, Lucius. So young and ignorant. Nyaphes are powerful, with one under you control you can cause hurricanes and earthquakes, or maybe something more simple like changing events in history. Do you understand how a valuable tool it is? ”

Lucius said nothing. The power to change the events of history. Was that even possible? How powerful could those creatures be?

“I understand, my Lord. I shall intensify the search…” “I’ll leave it to you, Lucius. Do not disappoint me. Now Bellatrix...I have another task for you… “Your wish is my command, my lord.” Voldemort’s pale factions wrinkled in a cold smile. His plan was set and soon, nothing would be able to stop it.

*** Tonks woke up for a nightmare. Her room in the Hufflepuff tower was dark and chilly. She could hear the faint sound of breathing from her roomates as they slept tranquil and oblivious to night horrors; but Tonks isn’t. She cleans up the drops of sweat from her face and slipped in to her shoes and robes. It was a recurrent dream. She’d had it since she was young; at the time she’d sneak to her parents room where her mum hug her telling her it was just a dream and her father would made her some hot cocoa. Thousand times better than draught of peace. He would say and her dreams would vanish with the comfort of her parents. But here in Hogwarts, she was alone. It wasn’t exactly a nightmare, now that she thought of it, it was more like a unnerving dream. It had no sense or plot, only random images from people she felt familiar, but could not quite recognize. Then there was the wave of feelings the images carried: fear, pain, sadness. Sometimes it was just too much to take. Tonks slipped out from the tower and walked down to the lower levels. Perhaps a stroll in the night and some fresh air would make her feel better. Lost in her thoughts, she missed the last two steps from the stairs crashed loudly against something warm. “Merlin’s sake, Nymphadora. Watch where you’re going!” She recognized the annoyed voice. She raised her face and found Snape’s pale face staring at her in annoyance. He was sitting on the ground after she had dragged him in her fall, a bag lying a few steps from him. “Don’t call me Nymphadora…” she said annoyed “What are you doing up so late?” “I should be the one asking you that…” “I asked first…” Snape had long learned to not argue with the girl. Instead he pushed himself up and patted of the dust from his clothes. “I offered to help professor Slughorn gather ingredients for his next class. I was heading to meet him…” “At this hour?” “We are picking Moonbloom flowers...they…” “Bloom around midnight...right. That makes sense…” Snape frowned at her as he turned to walke away. “Hey...can I join?” “No…” “Well, I don’t think you can decide that. I’ll ask professor Slughorn.” “Honestly, are all Hufflepuff as stubborn as you are?” “Maybe? It is part of the house’s virtues after all...” “You’re not dressed for ingredient gathering…” “I’m perfectly dressed for adventure, Severus…” Much to Snape’s annoyance, Slughorn welcomes Tonks participation with open arms. Professor Slughorn was quite eccentric at times, he spent half of the way into the forest talking about how much of a wonderful student her mother was and about how gifted, for a muggleborn, her father was. Tonks had never entered the forest, she’d strolled around the edge of it during full moon nights. That’s how she’d come to meet Mr. Wolfie, but she had never stepped beyond the limit. Slughorn said that the Moonblooms were flowering in a small clearing not too deep into the forest, so it was safe and they shouldn’t worry; but as she stepped into the the shadows she began to feel uneasy. “You shouldn’t have come if you were going to be so scared…” Snape muttered to her and she replied by giving him a soft punch in his arm. “I’m not scared. Nervous and scared aren’t the same…” “We are with a teacher. Nothing is going to happen…” A lot of things could happen, she thought. True, they were with a teacher. A experienced wizard many times more powerful and skilled than them; that should give out some reassurance; but at the end, the teachers were human too, and no human is unbeatable. “Care to say what were you doing sneaking around so late at night, Nymphadora…” Snape’s voice was a mix of teasing, scolding and curiosity. Even though she was annoyed by his insistence to use her first name, which she knew was un purpose to work her up, she was pleased by the fact that the shy stoic boy was finally starting to see her as a friend. “Had bad dreams and couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d go for a stroll to clear my head. Do you always volunteer for this kind of...jobs?” she asked quickly before Snape could ask about her dreams. “Sometimes. I like potions and I learn a lot more during this kind of experiences than from classes and books alone…” “The potion brewing prodigy, aren’t you? I’m sure you’ll end up being Potions teacher in a future…” “As long as I don’t have to teach you…” “I’m not that bad in potions, you know?” she said elbowing him. “Yes, of course...like I haven’t noticed after all the tutoring I’ve given you.” “It’s practice for when you become a grumpy teacher…” “Very funny, Nymphadora…” “Can you stop calling me that?” “No” Tonks knew when a battle was lost and nothing she did would persuade Snape from using her first name as long as it annoyed her. The trio reached the clearing and Tonks almost lost her breath at the beautiful view. She’d never seen Moonblooms in real life; she had read about them and seen them in books, but she thought that the description in them didn’t give the flowers proper credit. The flowers were ghostly white and glittering like diamonds; even in the lack of light they seemed to glow with their own light. The corolla of the flowers were composed by numerous smaller petals surrounding a carpel with golden stamen. Their perfume was bewitching: sweet and fragrant, and Tonks couldn’t help but feel lucky to have stumbled with Snape. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Slughorn said happily “Moonblooms are hard to come by. They’re awfully hard to grow and can only be harvested from the wild. Magical properties are only useful when they’re harvested in full bloom and that only last around two hours between 10 and midnight. A very tricky flower. Now, now...children. I’ll show you how to cut them and we can start…” Spending the late hours in the forbidden forest cutting flowers with a friendly potions professor and a cranky Snape wasn’t exactly a planned adventure, but Tonks found herself enjoying herself. Snape seemed particularly cheerful as he asked Slughorn about the flower’s properties and their application in potions, and she could swear she’d never seen the boy happier. She was listening, too, but not with as much devotion as he did. She picked up another pair of flowers and as she searches around the plants she comes face to face with some brilliant cobalt flowers. “Aconite…” Snape muttered behind her “Didn’t expect to find it here…” “What is it for?” “Many uses...but I wouldn’t touch it. Is way to poisonous…” “Wolfsbane…” she said softly. “What?” Snape asked with a frown. The word had come into her mind and she wasn’t fully aware why. It was important, but she couldn’t tell why. “Wolfsbane…” she repeated trying to understand what meaning the word held to her. “Ah...yes, that’s another name it receives.” Snape nodded “Anyway...let’s hurry. It’s almost midnight.” Tonks nodded. She stared at the flowers and once Snape had turned back to his own chores, she cut the aconite flowers into a small bouquet and pushed them into her bag. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt like she had to take them with her.

#harry #harry potter reimagined #AcrinkleofFate #nymphadora tonks #Remus Lupin #remadora #ronks #remus x tonks #maruaders era #marauders au #James Potter #Sirius Black #severus snape

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