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royal-ruin · 2 years

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genshin: diluc and kaeya (platonic) fic recs

other genshin fic recs here genshin fic recs by pairing here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

The Master of Dawn Winery Doesn’t Drink Wine (and Five Other Things to Know Before Trying to Kill Diluc Ragnvindr) by resince (~4k)

He receives his assignment on a too-hot day when he’s just arrived in Mondstadt. Diluc Ragnvindr is all it says. That is enough for him. But, the more he learns, the more this target seems impossible.

no ships, but a little hint of plantonic diluc/kaeya

tell all the truth but tell it slant by CalicoColors (~6k)

Kaeya accidentally reveals his past only a year after being accepted into the Ragnvindr’s during a fever-driven nightmare.

This changes everything and nothing all at once.

Although Kaeya doesn’t remember, Diluc does. The future changes as Diluc accepts this new truth at a young age.

basically a fix-it fic.

(fire)crackers and cheese by meowy_times (~9k)

[“He’s one of the weird grown-ups. He’s so grumpy all the time… why does he never smile?“

“Hello Jean,” Albedo greets, “We’re here to collect a few extra papers and drop Klee off?”

“Yes, here,” Jean hands Albedo a small stack of loose papers, mostly covered in empty charts that would be filled once they got up to Dragonspine. “And about Klee,” Jean glances around and sighs. “Diluc!” A sound comes from upstairs and Albedo looks up as Diluc, the illustrious winemaker of Mondstadt, pads down the stairs like a grumpy dog.

“Diluc!!” Kaeya grins. He moves toward Diluc, his arms outstretched for a hug. Diluc grunts and avoids it.

“Yes,” Jean clears her throat, “I’ve managed to get the old Cavalry Captain to stay with the Knights for a while – which took quite a bit of convincing. He will also be in charge of watching Klee while we are away.”]

mostly diluc-centric

Taking Care of Yourself (and Sometimes Not) by enbybedo (~2k)

Unfortunately, the tavern was as lively as Charles warned Adelinde it would be. It was packed to the brim with people due the last-minute birthday celebration of one of Mondstadt’s resident drunkards; Diluc didn’t bother to remember which. All he comprehended were the deafening cheers of an intoxicated mass and a stifling atmosphere filled up with the stench of liquor. The walls felt like they were slowly closing in on the pyro user as he absentmindedly wiped down dirty wine glasses and prepared drinks for the large crowd of customers. A voice called out to Diluc, but he could barely register it, being too focused on not collapsing on the job. He continued to clean a spotless glass as he tried to gain his bearings once more, wishing that the world would stop spinning even for just a moment.

*Song of Resistance: Frostborn Loyalty by TheOpticalMouse (~38k)

What if Schubert’s attempts to take over Mondstadt succeeded, and the Traveler never got in the way? What if Mondstadt was left to fend for itself against an insidious evil from within the stone walls that were supposed to protect it?

Diluc MIA Jean captured The City in Chains It falls to Kaeya and the scattered remains of those still free to gather and win their home back.

This tale is one of two parts, told in tandem with StrangeDiamond in their Sister Fic, "Song of Resistance: Flames of Defiance” in a massive collaborative project!

*Song of Resistance: Flames of Defiance by StrangeDiamond (~30k)

When the Lawrence Clan, backed by the Fatui, launches a two-pronged attack against Dawn Winery and Mondstadt, everyone is blindsided. The City of Freedom falls within a matter of hours … but Diluc survives, to rally those outside the city walls to take back their home … and make their enemies pay for all they’ve taken from them.

Sister fic to Song of Resistance: Frostborn Loyalty by TheOpticalMouse

both of these fics are so good, i absolutely love them. you can read them in tandem if you’d like or read them one at a time. personally, i think you’d have the best reading experience if you read them in the order they’re meant to be read though.

Liar, Liar by StrangeDiamond (~19k)

[“Are you trying to tell me … that you are literally incapable of telling the truth right now?” Diluc asks incredulously, because that’s what everything’s adding up to. Kaeya’s expression of relief is his answer, and his words (kind of) confirm Diluc’s theory. “Nope. That’s not what I’m saying at all.”]

Kaeya needs Diluc’s help to cure a rare affliction before it kills him. Diluc just might kill Kaeya himself before all is said and done. (Standalone Fic) Will be updated every day until complete.

The warmth in my heart by softcloudss (~2k)

where Diluc has a relapse of his childhood ailment and Kaeya fusses over the well-being of his brother.

(a self-indulgent work written to satisfy my craving for Diluc being cared for, and Diluc and Kaeya reconciliation)

The Flames of a Man Long Gone by SakuraSloth (~5k)

He stands up, catching another glimpse of scarlet in the darkened window. A familiar jolt shudders through his body, and soon nausea settles in his stomach.

It’s been years, and Crepus’ ghost still plagues his reflection.

Or late-night grief and mitachurls do not mix well.

*The Burden Of Memories by TheOpticalMouse (~51k)

The Abyss order is seeking to find any way it can to destroy Mondstadt. In their attempt to turn Diluc into their puppet, they cannot finish the process before Diluc escapes.

Still, the damage is done.

*Watcher of the Night by COBALT (nacaratskies) (~70k)

At age 22, Diluc Ragnvindr is murdered, with only his estranged brother as a witness.

At age 17, Diluc Ragnvindr woke up.

With memories that weren't his own, a strange connection to his Delusion, and lingering dreams of a world without him in it, Diluc was determined to relive the worst night of his life and get it right this time—no matter the cost.

Unfortunately, his plan did not account for Kaeya.

this one is pretty long, but it’s so worth the time.

Two Liars and a Spy by HAL_berd (~4k)

Following the Stormterror Incident, the Church of Favonius hires professional aid for its traumatized citizenry. This places two of the most powerful men in Mondstadt on the chaise longue over their petty sibling dispute.

Diluc and Kaeya have been going to counseling over their issues, but something's afoot with the counselor, and neither of them particularly care to cooperate. At least not in the way the counselor hopes.

featuring: reconciliation and two absolute menaces.

Distant Echoes by deprecavi (~4k)

Kaeya is grounded, but he turns up at the Angel's Share anyway. However, when he leaves without even finishing his drink, Diluc is concerned and follows him out.

we've taken different paths and traveled different roads by LilacsAndLilies (~6k)

Diluc comes home after three years only to find Kaeya right where he left him – at the Winery. This changed more than either of them could have imagined.

au where kaeya takes over the winery while diluc was gone.

next to your heart by alexithymias (~6k)

Four times Kaeya kisses Diluc, and one time he kisses Kaeya.

it sounds a little suspicious, i know, but read and you’ll understand.

*for living is an exercise in suffering by iellimau (~5k)

There was blood on Diluc’s hands.

He couldn’t see it— no one could. Not while he was still eighteen and just about to leave Mondstadt, not while he was fighting in Snezhnaya, not now in the few months since his return home. But it was there.

or What “recovery” means to a man who’s just come back home.

tw warning: read the tags. this fic concerns things like SH, suicidal ideation, OCD, and more. i’m putting it under diluc and kaeya, but it’s mostly just about diluc.

*Poisoned Dreams by StrangeDiamond (~83k)

Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.

Blind Mirror by StrangeDiamond (~76k)

A serial killer surfaces in Mondstadt. One whose signature is eerily similar to the first serial killer Jean and Kaeya ever caught together, four years ago. Right after Diluc left the Ordo. The shadow of the past falls heavily on the new investigation, as the three friends hunt down this threat to their city and are forced to reconcile their lives now with their regrets and mistakes from four years ago.

this one is basically a sequel to the previous one. they can be read seperately but it might be hard to understand diluc and kaeya’s dynamic at first if you don’t read it in order.

This is No Cultivated Heaven by thecrazychatlady (~6k)

Kaeya and Diluc get into a fight so bad that Jean intervenes, demanding Kaeya apologize for wrecking the Angel's Share. He gets a little more than he bargained for. Ragnbros reconciliation fic.

[“What’s this I hear about you and Master Diluc scuffling in front of the Angel’s Share last night? I have three concerned reports from—” these she ticks off on her fingers, “Margaret from the Cat’s Tail, Captain Hertha, and Six-Fingered Jose, all sitting on my desk when I arrived this morning. Not to mention multiple eyewitnesses who said that you went after him with a chair. Explain yourself.”

Kaeya winced. “About that. You may get an invoice from the Dawn Winery fairly soon, on account of the ruined bar…”

“You demolished the bar?” Jean demanded.]

hold me tighter (don’t let go) by mysterious_ky (~3.5k)

Kaeya never tells Diluc his secret, they never fight, he doesn’t get his vision as a result of almost dying at his brother’s hands. Instead he runs.

Kaeya runs for three years.

One night, he comes home.

*Lights Are On (But Nobody’s Home) by enbybedo (~3.5k)

[“Why are you here?” Diluc asked the pane of glass in front of him. Kaeya took a moment to consider his response before speaking.

“The Knights of Favonius are trained to handle mental health emergencies, if the need for that arises. I’m simply here to make sure you aren’t going to put yourself in harm’s way, Master Diluc.”]

tw warning: read the tags. deals with self-harm, suicide attempt, etc.

when the dusk draws on by yesitsalsoagun (~27k)

A week after a relatively confusing clash with the Abyss Order, Diluc is overcome by a mysterious creeping cold. Surely there's no connection between the two...?

[There is. There absolutely is.]

#Genshin #genshin fic rec #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #Kaeya #kaeya alberich

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spicyjellyace · 1 year

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how to be confident in 4 steps

youtube

Look at me. Look at me and tell me that I'm the hottest person you've ever seen. I'm not, right? Because that's not true. And maybe... I don't suit your standards. Maybe... you don't think I'm the hottest person alive — you don't even think I'm hot. Maybe you think I'm mid, or ugly, even. But do I care that you don't think I'm the hottest person alive?

No, because that opinion does not affect my day-to-day life, but I think that I'm the hottest person alive, and that's all that matters.

Hi, I'm Gloss, and today I will teach you four steps to becoming delusionally confident. But before I continue, I have to tell you that I do have a script that I will be glancing at, just so I don't go off track and ensure that I hit all the points.

Alright. Let me just adjust the window. Okay. Alright. So anyway, just to give you an overview of how confident I am, I can spin any insult into a compliment. If you tried to insult me, I would only be flattered. Why? Because that means you observed me enough to find my flaws. Either when it comes to my appearance or my personality. Oh you think that I have bad teeth?

That means that you stared at my mouth enough to notice my bad teeth because I have mastered speaking in a way that conceals my bad teeth. I've gotten so good at it that if I point it out to even people that I've known for years, they get surprised. So if you notice that I have bad teeth in a short period of time, you know what that tells me?

You were looking at my mouth — for an extended period of time, and that's flattering to me... why? You could have used that time to do something else. But what did you do though? What did you do with that time? You stared at my freaking mouth. You deemed staring at my mouth a worthwhile activity over many other things.

Or if you call me an attention seeker, what am I gonna say?

I agree! And the fact that you pointed that out tells me that I grabbed your attention... therefore, I succeeded! And I'm not just saying this out of my a**. It's genuinely difficult to insult me because I've programmed my brain to flip any insult into a compliment, or better yet, ignore it.

This is a video that my IRLs have been bugging me to make. "Please make a video about confidence! You would help so many people," and I'm like, "Why? There's so many videos out there on charisma and confidence," but I guess there's no harm in adding another perspective to the conversation, right? So let's start. How do you become deliriously confident?

STEP ONE is to shed any and all desire for external validation. And yes... this is the hardest part. It took me years to even get to a point where I was comfortable with even just the idea of disregarding other people's opinions, where it didn't feel like a sin. Now, I've gotten to a point where I genuinely don't care.

A common example is I'll put in AirPods while I'm out on my daily morning walk, and sing along to my heart's content. Maybe even do a little dance. People will stare, sometimes give me weird looks, but do I care? I don't care. Why? Because they don't freaking know me. I don't freaking know them. We don't freaking know each other.

And above all else, their opinion of me isn't gonna affect my future in any way whatsoever. This is just one example out of many, but back to the topic, why is it important to shed all and any desire for external validation? I talked about this to my friend recently, and the reason why it's important is because living life and doing things, even with the slightest hint of a desire for external validation creates a cognitive dissonance in your head.

This will make more sense once we get to step two, but essentially, when you have even just the tiniest desire to gain external validation, and it doesn't matter from who — strangers, someone you're romantically involved with, family, friends — once you have some desire to win external validation, it creates a cognitive dissonance in your self-concept.

"Which one is the person that I am? And which one is the character I develop to win external validation?" Why is this a problem? Because it contradicts step two: developing extreme self-awareness. But before I proceed to step two, let me tell you the HOW of shedding the desire for external validation. This is something that I have successfully taught many friends, and this is something that I have, of course, mastered myself.

Think of it this way: You won't be scared of being judged if you don't judge other people. I'm gonna paint you a scenario so that this makes sense. Growing up, my parents have always been very image-centric, particularly my mom. She would not let us leave the house looking even just the slightest bit unkempt.

We had a separate set of clothes for going out and staying in, and while that's normal, she was almost obsessive about setting the two apart. She always wanted us to look put-together when we left the house, and her reasoning for this was always, "What would other people think?" There lies your problem.

While I will acknowledge that there's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking external validation and fearing rejection, I unfortunately also have to make it clear that dissolving this desire is key to untouchable self-confidence. I understand that the need for validation and the fear of rejection is the reason humans have even gotten this far, and why society has developed drastically.

Back in the day, your actions and existence had an effect on whether you would survive or not, as rejection from the tribe would mean you would have to survive by yourself in dire conditions. Innovations and discoveries such as finding food or discovering fire, wowed the group, won you approval and elevated your social status. This goes on incrementally, until we get to the point where we are today.

That is something that is hardwired in our monkey brain, so I'm not gonna demonize people who wanna conform, seek validation, or fear rejection.

That's not a bad thing, okay? However, unfortunately, if you wanna be untouchable in your level of confidence, you need to get rid of that... and that's why you're here, right?

Okay. Back to the scenario. My mom always wanted us to be perfectly put-together. If we were to be in the presence of other people [from] outside the household, so this doesn't just include times when we would leave the house, but also when people were visiting.

So I would find myself thinking, "Why do other people's perception of me matter that much?" That was something that always plagued me, even before I started this journey, I always wondered, "Why the hell does it matter what other people think?" And then growing up, I started to notice that my mom was extremely judgmental.

I don't say this derogatorily either. It was just her state of being. She would notice and point out the littlest things that I wouldn't even catch, or frankly, give two s**ts about. And I'm not saying that being observant is a bad thing, but what I noticed in her pattern of behavior, and a recurring theme, especially in insecure people or people with low self-esteem, is that... they like to watch other people — not in a curious way, but to find their "flaws".

"Flaws" in quotes here, because a lot of these things in the grand scheme of the universe are really irrelevant. As a result of watching other people so closely in this manner, they develop a fear of being perceived the same way. So if you want to shed the desire for external validation... (verbal drumroll) you must stop thinking that your validation matters to other people, unless it is explicitly asked for.

When you go out in public, stop looking for and reacting to things that you see that are weird TO YOU. The world does not revolve around you, and that's a good thing. If you go out in public and you see someone wearing a shirt with a hole in it or mismatched socks, don't hyperfixate.

Don't give that person the time of day wondering why they're wearing something out of the ordinary, because it doesn't matter. Or if you see someone with weird toes, screw it. Right? Why are YOU staring? Their foot still works, right? What does it have to do with YOU if someone's body, or clothing, or way of self-expression is different from what you deem normal? Stop judging other people.

I have personally become unobservant and indifferent to things that do not concern me, that I won't even notice when people look weird or act weird — someone else has to point it out to me, and even then, usually my response is, "Why does it matter?" Right? If it doesn't affect me and nobody's harmed, nobody needs help, why the hell does it matter?

Why should it take up space in my limited working memory when I could be dedicating that time, energy, and attention to other valuable thoughts and prospects? When you stop letting irrelevant things bother you — and not in an apathetic way, more like indifference... weird shirt, who cares? Imperfect skin, who cares?

Clashing outfit, who freaking cares? Another step that you can take is to start doing things that you don't usually do. For me, remember that scenario I told you about my mom never letting us mix our outside and inside clothing together? It's a small thing, but I started wearing inside clothes outside and vice versa.

I started with baby steps — I would wear my pajamas to the convenience store, and then to the fast food place, and then eventually started doing it at the mall and other places where it would be considered "weird". But then eventually I just realized... clothes are freaking clothes! As long as they do their job, and as long as your bits are covered, no one cares!

Sure, you'll get the occasional double take or even a weird stare, but they won't remember you forever. Okay? They'll probably talk about you to their friends or family or post about seeing someone in pajamas in public as a one-time thing, but that's it.

And if it goes beyond that... that's not your fault! It's not your fault their lives are so uninteresting that they still think about a stranger looking or doing something weird a year, or even just a week after they witnessed it. So I just started wearing pajamas everywhere. Hang out at Starbucks? Show up in pajamas. Sing at the karaoke? Show up in pajamas. Grocery shopping? Show up in pajamas!

Who cares, right? Let's tie that into the main point. Now, because I have shed the desire to seek validation and approval, every action I do or choice that I make is because I WANTED to. When I DO dress up and do my makeup and get glammed, it's no longer because I'm seeking validation, but rather because I FELT like it.

I WANTED to. So there's no longer that cognitive dissonance of "Who is Gloss?" and, "Who is this person I'm trying to project onto the world?" because now, they've merged into one person. The person that I'm trying to present and the person that I am are now one, and that makes my self-concept rock solid. They do not clash, so I don't have an internal struggle.

I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not, because people know me as how I truly am. There's no longer that cognitive dissonance of "Who the h*ll am I?" Which leads us to...

STEP NUMBER TWO: self-awareness. There are many ways to define self-awareness, but the most succinct way I can define it is to know yourself down to the nitty gritty.

Know where you suck, and decide whether to accept it or improve on it. There's nothing wrong with having pride in the things that you excel at — your good traits, your good characteristics. There's no harm in that.

I believe it's also important to know what you're good at and be aware of what you bring to the table, because this way you're able to maximize your potential and achieve self-actualization.

BUT! People seem to downplay the advantage of knowing your weaknesses, because when you know your weaknesses, NO ONE CAN HOLD THEM AGAINST YOU.

When you know what you suck at, and have made the executive decision to either accept them as a part of you or work on them, they can't be held against you, because like for example, "Yeah, I can't dance. How does that make me a worse person?" Or, "Yeah, I can't dance, but at least I'm taking classes and I'm doing something about it. What are you doing to improve yourself? Are you even a good dancer? If you are, shouldn't you be helping me improve rather than making fun of me?"

This mindset comes naturally as a result of shedding the desire for validation. Now, I do things to become a better person FOR ME, rather than for the purpose of impressing others or conforming to society. Now, I'm not saying that you should stop at self-awareness and no longer work on yourself. Personally, I'm always trying to be a better person, but I believe it's also important to prioritize what traits to improve on first.

An example for me is I have prioritized the need to build habits because I cannot stick to a routine. So it's what I'm actively working on at the moment. Everything else is in the back seat. I know they're there. But they're not of utmost importance because self-improvement is a process. I cannot become an amazing person overnight.

So being aware of what you suck at is the first step to self-awareness and consequently, self-improvement. This applies to all aspects of your life, physical, mental, emotional, et cetera. For accountability's sake, I will point out my flaws and actual insecurities. For starters, I have bad teeth, right? Like I mentioned earlier, although I'm not exactly insecure of that, I've learned to accept that, and to some extent I feel like it's even part of my charms, but that's a conversation for another day.

Another thing is I procrastinate often, and that is also something I'm working on alongside building habits. Some of my insecurities include my hooded eyelids because I think they drag my face down, and my nose because I wish it was more defined, but I don't ruminate on those things. I don't ruminate on the things that I consider "flaws", because at the end of the day, I know that I'm still a good person, and these so-called flaws do not deplete my worth.

So self-awareness shifts your perspective from seeing your flaws as a bad thing into things that you can either accept or change.

STEP THREE: Have a personal brand. This is a step I pride myself in because I have taught this to many of my close friends and it has worked... TREMENDOUSLY. One of the friends whom I gave this advice to went from someone who rarely left their home to someone who parties often and meets new people all the time.

Another friend I taught this to told me that they found peace in their daily life because they no longer had to concern themselves with the opinions of others. As you can see, dear viewer, confidence manifests itself in many different ways. People tend to think that extroverts are confident and introverts are shy, but that's not the case.

So Gloss, what the h*ll is a personal brand? Here. Choose a trait, or a set of traits. These have to be non-physical, at least while you are in the process of building your self-confidence. Even just one trait, or if you choose several, the traits have to be related to each other. Pick a trait or a set of traits that you pride yourself in.

If you can't think of one, make one. It can be something you personally notice within yourself or something that other people point out. So for one of my friends, she always got told that she looked expensive, so I told her. "Okay. Maybe you can use that because people already perceive you as that. You just have to lean into it."

This is different from performing for the purpose of validation, because rather, you are playing into a role that has already been assigned to you, and hijack it to your advantage. I told her, "Now you have to see yourself as someone luxurious." She was like, "What do you mean someone luxurious?"

I said, "People think you're expensive. People think you're luxurious, so you're gonna start thinking of yourself as a high-value commodity. No, not an object. Rather, believe and embody that your presence is a luxury."

She said, "How?"

I told her, "Everytime you're around other people, instead of wondering if you're bothering them or wasting their precious time... start believing: 'Because my presence is a luxury, everyone I meet is lucky that they even get to spend time with me.'"

The key to establishing a solid personal brand is to not base your perception of yourself on comparisons. Notice how I never told her to think I'm more *blank* than these people, or I'm the most *blank* person in the room. It's not that! The phrase is, "Being with me is a luxury. Having me around is a privilege."

Does it mean I'm the smartest or hottest person in the room? NO! Rather, it is establishing that your value as a person is immutable regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. If your confidence stems from comparison, it WILL falter. Sure, it can work, but it's not sustainable.

There will always be someone smarter, someone more good-looking, someone more eloquent. Adversely, there will always be someone less smart, less good-looking, less articulate. This kind of confidence fluctuates and is fragile. You don't want that. You want to be certain that no matter who you're with, your worth stays the same.

So I told this friend, "No matter who you're with, no matter if you are with freaking Angelina Jolie... remember that your presence is a luxury and a privilege — EVEN to people like her. Do not compare yourself to other people. If Anne Hathaway walks into the same room you are in, it doesn't mean you're suddenly less attractive. Now, there's just two gorgeous people in the room."

This is what we call your personal brand.

My personal brand... there's a physical aspect to it. However, I assume if you are watching this, you may be a little insecure. Your self-concept is not solid. Your self-esteem is easily knocked down, so I would recommend for your personal brand to revolve around non-physical traits. That way they're intangible. However, mine works for me as I have mastered the art of confidence.

For me, my personal brand is simple: I'm hot and I'm smart. Pretty straightforward, right? How did I build this brand?

For the hot aspect, I realized that... hot is a state of mind. Literally — if I'm in pajamas, my hair is messy, I'm sweaty from working out — it doesn't matter. TO ME, I'm always hot. My attractiveness doesn't fluctuate based on how I look. Whether I'm dressed up or down, glammed up or bare-faced. Rather, it's just my state of being. It's me. I'm just hot.

In my eyes, I will always be attractive, and because I have made that my personal brand, YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. I don't care about other people's opinions regarding that because it's MY personal brand. Think of brands, as in corporate brands. For example, McDonald's. "I'm lovin' it." That's their branding, right?

Anyone from anywhere will recognize it. They probably have it in different languages in different countries, but the central message remains the same. "McDonald's: I'm lovin' it." It doesn't matter if one or five or even a hundred people say they disagree with that slogan and they say they hate McDonald's.

"Oh, I'm not lovin' it. I'm hating it." It doesn't matter to McDonald's! McDonald's doesn't care that you disagree with their branding. They will continue to embody that slogan and present themselves as a store with food that people love. "I'm lovin' it" has, is, and will continue to be a part of their brand. The same applies to you.

So for me, my personal brand is that I'm hot and I'm smart. I already discussed how I established thinking that I'm hot earlier. So now for the smart part, it's just that, growing up I was always told I'm smart, and I'm a fast learner, so similar to my friend's "luxurious" personal brand that I talked about earlier, it's a trait that I simply leaned into.

My personal brand is an example of both picking a trait that society has assigned to you and leaning into it, and choosing a trait that you would like to embody. It doesn't matter how many people disagree and insult me, or how many times I get broken up with... you cannot change my mind. TO ME, I'm hot and I'm smart, and that's that — hence my opening statement.

I could get acne, I could lose my job, I could become dirt poor, my family could disown me, my body could change the way it looks, my physical appearance could change, my theoretical partner could break up with me, all the bad things and worst-case scenarios could happen to me, and I would STILL be hot and smart.

This is something you CANNOT take away from me because that's my personal brand. It is unchanging despite the circumstances I find myself in.

Finally, STEP FOUR: (we're nearing the end) Realize that it is a process and that it WILL continue to be a process. I'm gonna be realistic here. Am I 100% confident all the time?

Do I just NEVER get insecure? NO! That would be a lie! I have mastered spinning insults into compliments, yes, but do I have moments of weakness? Is there a small chance that... in the right circumstance, insults still get to me sometimes? Maybe. Do I still feel awkward when I sing out loud in public and someone stares at me weirdly? Maybe.

Like I mentioned earlier, when I go on my morning walks, I love singing at the top of my lungs at the highway, while my AirPods blast music into my ears at max volume. Who cares, right? People won't hear me. I'm not harming anyone because people don't live near the highway and there's just so much open space that chances are no one can hear me for miles, but sometimes while I do that, I'll encounter someone and get a double take — not the good kind, which I recognize cuz I'm not stupid — and for a split second, for a split second, I'm like, "Holy s**t, that's weird. They definitely think I'm weird," but then I remind myself, "Does it freaking matter? Do I really need their approval?"

Go back to STEP ONE.

I don't want their validation. I shouldn't freaking care. That's the monkey brain talking. So what if they think I'm weird? I'm having the time of my life. I have an endorphin rush, I'm getting my steps in, I'm not hurting anyone. If anything, THEY'RE the weirdo for not minding their own business. So... even if I get moments like that, I remind myself, "Screw it."

Remember that you are NOT perfect. You will NEVER be perfect. And it is a CONTINUOUS process. Those are the four steps to becoming deliriously, confident and untouchable.

To recap...

STEP ONE: Shed all and any desire for external validation.

STEP TWO: Develop extreme self-awareness.

STEP THREE: Establish your personal brand.

STEP FOUR: Acknowledge that it is a continuous process. I hope that this helps you, and if you want me to talk about other subjects, please feel free to drop suggestions in the comments below. If I feel like I have enough experience in the subject and I can give valuable insight, then I will make a video about it.

But if I don't, I will not. I don't wanna participate in conversations I'm not qualified to speak on, and add unnecessary noise to the marketplace of discourse. Alright! I hope you gained something from this. That's it for today. Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you soon.

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female-overlord-3 · 2 years

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Older Brother Magic

This is a fic for one of The Salt Masters @winged-fool (a fic that will hopefully be finished... eventually) because we miss Flint Manes and cannot stand the horrendous writing choices this season so I decided to once again write my feelings cause fuck it I bet I could do better. This is an au for if Flint returned to RNM cause he has that older sibling intuition about Alex being in danger so we could finally have someone competent looking for him and he was so much fun to write! As per usual my fic contains anti-maria but it also has Flint trying to be a decent person and only succeeding 55% of the time and the Real Michael Guerin who would not just wait chilling with a bear instead of going to find the cosmic love of his life... oh also the only other true competent person on this show (besides Kyle) who’s been buried in a hole: The Alex Manes who I also need to figure out how to save from said hole cause in my opinion Malex should just stay in the nice pocket universe with occasional visits from Kyle, Sanders, and possibly Flint. Long spleal over, Ariqa I hope you like what I’ve got so far :)

Flint knows first. For some reason he always knows first which he's hated after years of it happening. He used to love it when they were kids, to even be proud that he always knew when Alex was in trouble and he could be there to save him but not when it became only at home. Not when he couldn't help or save Alex at the risk of himself too. It just became this annoying feeling buzzing around in his chest he did his best to ignore when he could or put in a word somewhere when it became unbearable. The only time that happened was when Alex took that bullet and lost his limb. They don't talk about it, that it was Flint who called in a favor to have his unit back early just a few hours after Alex got hurt.

Flint tried to ignore it because he was taught that to need help meant weakness and being indebted but when you did help someone it was because they were weak and now indebted to you.

Then all the alien insanity happened all at once and it was just easier to follow orders, do what he knew, and not have to think but then- then he died which set him free without a tether so he was left drifting. Flint was injured, honorably discharged from it, left to his so-called family who also seemed to have no idea what to do with him.

Flint tried staying on the Res with Greg but he needed more time to let go of his resentment of what Greg did and the small part of jealousy that Greg was able to do it. Flint still isn't sure if it's ending their old man or saving Alex. Probably another thing he needs to work through and talk about with the therapist Alex referred him to.

It didn't help that Greg was also seeing the Deluca woman which Flint didn't understand. Didn't she hurt Alex? Didn't she almost ruin Alex's chance with his idiot alien? Didn't she almost get him killed!

He never asked but he can somehow tell that something else happened that night, something that shouldn't have. Usually the feeling only lasts for a few minutes but that day it lasted until the next day which almost made him check. He still does sometimes but it's unsure if it's to instigate or get clarity. Getting both can be reasonable right?

He hasn't though because for once Alex has been safe. Well safe since the Alien dictator mess and whatever Deep Sky had him doing but he hasn't felt anything for almost 6 months. Now it's back and after waiting a day and still feeling like his skin is crawling… he decides to just go see for himself. Sadly there are only 2 people he can go to for this.

He tries the doctor but realizes that'll let everyone know he's here and going to Guerin is more of a last resort if he can't find Alex on his own.

Maintaining a low profile and gathering any information about what's happened while he's been gone the first day was… insightful to put it plainly but now he has a timeline and knows what two out of the three new aliens to avoid.

Alex has been missing for either a few hours to a day or two and Flint will bet his car that the third alien is the culprit.

It's this… feeling or sibling intuition? Whatever it is, it's the only thing that makes sense from what he's gathered.

Also he knows what subordinates look like and neither of them look like a leader.

The two subordinates go by Bonnie and Clyde… which is interesting and sort of stupid but they seem new and naive.

It takes tailing them to a random cabin and of course Alex's alien is there and doing a subpar job of being undercover.

Flint waits parked in front of Alex's house until Michael arrives and walks right past his car before doing a double take.

Pleading for patience, Flint gets out and tries to not frown.

"Guerin."

Michael eyes him wearily before taking a breath and nods.

"Flint. Alex isn't here but ummm… what can I do for you?"

It's insanely awkward but they're both trying even if it'll only last until Flint's next words.

"Ya about that… Alex is missing. And no, I didn't take him this time." He tacks on the last part even if it sounds a little suspicious.

It takes a second for it to sink in and there aren't any alien powers or accusations being shouted which is something Flint wasn't expecting. Michael just pinches the bridge of his nose and takes another breath.

"This isn't you trying to kidnap me or some weird shovel talk because Alex and I live together now right?"

Flint includes the new information about their new domestic status and can see that might be why Michael seems more civil. 'Seems' because he can see that barely controlled chaotic anger thrumming from him. It was the same energy from that time which again he does marginally regret. While he regretted what he did he also needs that same energy from that time so he's gonna push.

"You were much easier to get help from last time. Went nearly feral trying to get him back but now nothing? Do you even l-"

Flint slams into his car with an invisible force and the pressure is uncomfortable but he can still breathe.

Michael is panting, his hand extended and glaring at him in fury, but then he starts to sway and the force pressing on him is weakening until it's gone and Michael collapses to the floor.

Flint takes a second to right himself and gives Michael a once over before reminding himself that a "nice person" goes and actually checks if the collapsed person is okay.

Well he can see that Michael is still breathing but it's heavy and he's sweating, all signs that would point to a fever but Flint's never known for their kind to get sick like this.

Unsure how contagious whatever sickness Michael has, Flint grabs a mask and gloves from his glove compartment like a smart person before grabbing on to Michael to lift him up.

That gets a groan and a cough which almost makes him drop Michael in disgust. It takes reminders of taking care of a much younger Alex sick with a cold and how miserable he sounded.

"You are so lucky you're my brothers." He grumbles and gets the sick alien over his shoulder then to the front door.

Eyeing his surroundings Flint hesitates before going with his gut as he feels under the mailbox next to the doorbell and pulls free a key. Thankfully Michael is too out of it to see how emotional a stupid key makes him as he gets them inside and sets Michael on the couch.

"Why you helpin?"

"Oh good, you're conscious."

Flint takes in the place and catalogs what he might need. Tissues which would be either in the bathroom or a desk, blankets that should be in a cabinet but he sees a familiar one resting in a chair next to the couch, maybe food so he has to check that additional inventory, and a thermometer to keep track of Michael's temperature for the doctor and Ortecho to analyze.

"Guess you really won't be any help finding Alex. Stay put so I can grab some things and get one of your people to come. Where's your phone Geurin?"

Michael just groans again before sniffling Alex's name.

"I really hoped you'd be useful. Where's the bathroom?"

"No. Ours. No one but us."

Flint rolls his eyes at that as he grabs the large blanket and has to grit his teeth when he realizes why the blanket looks so familiar. It's Alex's favorite, Grandma's blanket that still looks and feels the same though just a bit faded.

"Here use this-"

"No."

Michael actually whines the word and rolls away, almost falling off the couch.

"Guerin-"

"Alex's. His favorite. I'm gross so no."

Flint throws it on him anyway.

He grabs what he can without going to what he assumes is their room because that's a line he doesn't want to cross unless he has to.

Even though Michael fought him about the blanket he's all cocooned in it now. He takes a picture for both blackmail and Alex.

"The only person's number I have is Greg and he'd call Deluca. Who do you want?"

"Alex."

Why did he expect any other answer.

"He's still missing so either tell me someone else's number or you're getting Deluca which I'm highly against doing."

The bartender is decent company at her bar or with others but Flint has never really liked her. What she proclaims as being headstrong and a self savior is just a pretty way of saying stubborn and selfish.

He's seen it clear as day now because that's who he used to be. He's trying not to anymore but he's still angry and he still doesn't see what Alex sees in this particular alien. Might as well use the anger to stay focused instead of stewing in it.

"What about Isobel? There's that new parish guy I've seen. Not sure how he got added into all this mess but he looks like he cares."

Michael shakes his head and closes his eyes.

"I might get him sick with whatever this is. No other aliens." He seems to be contemplating who else might be able to help but Flint knows that's a small list. The possibility of getting the parish sick also confirms what Flint believed about the parish being another one.

"What about Ortecho, since she'd be able to figure out whatever this is right?"

"She's busy… but we could let her know."

Flint tries to decipher what Michael isn't saying.

"She won't stay and take care of you will she?"

That just gets another sniffle.

"Ok what about Sander's or Valenti? The doctor is human and probably knows the most about your physical biology."

"He's not here." Michael counters and Flint really wants to know how this guy is considered a genius.

"Well I'm sure a call would get him here especially once I tell him that Alex is missing. He's the only one that I would trust right now."

That gets a scoff that triggers a nasty coughing fit.

"I hope that was worth it. Now, I need your phone or someone's number or I will have Deluca come take care of you until Valenti or Ortecho get here to check you out."

There's a muffled thump from another room but Michael starts talking, distracting Flint from looking into it.

"I'll be fine after some sleep. Then we can go find Alex. Just need an hour." Michael tries to say this all while sneezing twice and slurring the end as his eyes flutter shut and he passes out again. He's still breathing so it's fine.

Finally peace and quiet.

Flint stares cautiously at the pot of soup on the stove that's cooking in slight fear.

He did not make that and Michael is still passed out on the couch.

He went out to his car to make a call to Valenti who gave him Ortechos number. Both said they would get to Alex's as soon as possible but Flint knew Valenti actually meant it. Those calls and grabbing some things from his car took less than 10 minutes so how the hell did this soup get here!

The most chilling part is that it's a very specific type of soup that he does not want to think about so Flint just turns the stove off, puts a lid on the pot, and walks back into the living room.

He can deal with that later once someone else comes and sees it too.

The knock at the door is a bit of a surprise and instantly sets Flint's nerves on edge. There is no way Ortecho got here that quick and he's not letting anyone else in here.

When Flint tries to get up a pillow goes flying into his lap to sit him back down. There's a knock again but the pillow goes heavy like a pressure is holding it down. All Flint can do is glare at it until someone calls Michael's name and the voice makes him freeze.

It's Max Evans.

He stays still and silent until the sound of a car starts then leaves and he unfreezes to let go of the pillow he was unconsciously gripping for dear life.

Trying to calm down the unnecessary panic he wants to rip out of his chest, Michael moves on the couch with a small whimper before the blanket tightens around him and he settles.

"Alex?"

The pillow in his lap presses down once.

"We both know Morse Code idiot."

*I know Asshole

"Yup, it's you. Where are you so I can save your ass and you can take care of him."

The back of his shirt gets tugged almost over his head before it's let go.

"I brought him in and have given him basic assistance. You're welcome."

It almost feels like a hand pats the top of his head. The feeling is absolutely horrible and he never wants Alex to do that again because if he does he'll do… something.

*Feral kitten

"I don't need to help you Alex." He hisses at him.

"Where's Alex? Alex!"

Great, he's awake now.

A force pushes Michael back down and tightens the blanket on him. He still looks like shit but hopefully the sleep helped. Then Flint sees something glowing on Michael.

"Is that you or Alex. The glowing."

There's a tugging on Flint again, more insistent so he gets up and allows it to lead him over to a very emotional Michael. Can this day get any worse.

"The other piece. Alex has the other half and- we can find him! I need to-" Michael then proceeds to all but fall off the couch while still trapped in the blanket. Whatever weird force Alex is, he makes Michael stay still as the blanket is slowly unwrapped and it's nauseating how caring the action looks.

"Alex." The sound is almost a strangled croak as Michael just stares at the blanket.

Flint eyes some of Michael's hair moving and that is what seems to break Michael.

"I'm sorry! God Alex I'm sorry but I'm coming okay. I'm gonna bring you home."

The glowing piece of alien glass starts to dim and Flint is not going to like what happens next.

"Alex? Alex wait no come back! Alex!"

He lets Michael walk around the living room frantically as he holds the glass clutched in his hand until he starts to hopefully calm down or pass out again.

"You done so we can get to work now?"

Michael stupidly spins around and extends a hand at him but Flint feels nothing and all Michael does is almost fall again.

"No powers noted. We have at least another hour until Ortecho gets here to diagnose you so I'll keep a list."

Flint gets up to try and make Michael sit but he's just… standing there staring at his hand.

"I- I don't have my powers."

"I just said that."

Taking a second Flint tries to think more about the situation and he sighs.

"Right you need time to process and freak out. Um hopefully it's not permanent?"

That's the right thing to say right?

"I'm- how?"

The alien glass glows and directs Michael to sit then Flint feels the taps on his arm.

*Bonnie. Power remover. Tried to help. She's naive

"Alex says it was the Bonnie alien. She takes powers away somehow. Said she thought doing so would be helping you because she's naive."

This new information just makes Michael shrink into himself. How does Alex deal with him!

*don’t push. Needs a second

Flint can’t help but voice his annoyance at that. “Well this is sorta wasting valuable time in getting you back.”

*she kissed him

“She what! And you’re okay with that? I know you and your stupid heart is too kind but you can’t keep doing this Alex.”

“He knows.”

Even to him the almost hollow way Michael sounds is… concerning. Alex does whatever reassuring thing Michael needs but he still looks sorta brittle. That isn’t stopping him from chewing Michael for doing this shit again.

“I don’t want to believe you’d do this to Alex so either explain or I will leave you here to find Alex myself.” He threatens and he means it. Flint can find his brother on his own perfectly fine.

“She kissed me because she thought I was into her or that was what I assumed because I was teaching her about earth and finally getting to show someone why you would want to stay.”

*instead of leave

“Alex says instead of leaving and somehow it comes off happy. Please keep both your feelings to a minimum.”

“I was just trying to get information and maybe bring someone else to our side. She wants to stay here and she reminds me… reminds me of who I was before this stupid planet made me hate it. I pushed her away instantly and told her I was very much in- had a boyfriend who means everything to me. A boyfriend who was supposed to stay safe and come back to me so I could tell him something but now he’s edging me again.”

Flint can’t help the look of revolution because he does not want to ever hear that again.

“I’ll accept this even if I think you should still feel guilty.”

“Of course I do! I texted him about it but now I know why I haven’t been receiving any text back.”

Feeling that they can move onto how they can find Alex now, Flint grabs his laptop and settles in.

“Sit and conserve energy. Now tell me when did Alex leave for his weather mission?”

“He left 2 days ago around 7pm so 2 days and 14 hours.”

Flint won’t mention how slightly creepy that is because it’s vital information and he knows Alex would be the same way.

*ask Michael for map

“You know where you are and you’re only now telling me!”

“He’s doing recon isn't he, trying to find out more while he’s stuck wherever he is.”

Michael sounds as annoyed as Flint is which he doesn’t like.

*stuck. You can’t get me. Alien tech

“Hey I know Morse Code too! Alex what did you tell him?”

*stuck. You can’t get me. Alien tech. Keep working with evil triad

This back and forth is going to get annoying so Flint just pulls up a blank word doc and sets it on the table.

“If you can tap us then use this, it’ll be more efficient and clear.

Wasn’t sure if it would work. Thank you Flint. Michael your map. I can show you but you won’t be able to get me.

Michael reaches his hand out before remembering he doesn’t have his powers.

“I’ll go grab it.” He sighs.

Flint eyes the screen waiting for more text but nothing.

"Is there anything I should know that he can't yet?"

Liz will need to diagnose and create something to neutralize her powers while I see what the leader is up to

"Anything else?"

Wherever I am it'll be hard to bring me back. I think I'm in a different dimension.

"Somehow I'm not surprised by that."

Wherever I am, the place I got sucked into dropped me into some type of device that more or less transported me somewhere else.

"So it's like their ship or something? Some type of portal maybe?"

Tell Michael and let him know I'd understand if he wants to go home

It takes a second to decipher what Alex means because isn't Michael home now? What-

"You're more of a self-deprecating idiot than I thought. He'd choose you cause you're his home now."

Alex doesn't reply because again he's a self-deprecating idiot who still won't keep anything for himself.

"You better stay here and listen. Guerin! Talk to your boyfriend."

Michael stumbles from the room at his name.

"What? What's wrong! Alex, are you okay, are you hurt!?"

"He's fine but you need to talk to him. Here, read this and tell him he's wrong."

Michael leans down to read what Alex said and frowns.

"Do you really think being in a different dimension or wherever you are will stop me from getting you back? What the hell do you mean home! You're my home!" His yelling softens as he grips onto his alien glass pendant.

"You were my first home Alex, the first person who gave me a warm place to feel safe and cared for."

But you've always dreamed of going back

"I had a dream to give me hope even if it was a pipe dream! Something I could keep working on even if it never worked out because I thought I lost the real thing in that shed but now I have you again, you made us a new home, so stop being a sacrificing idiot and let us go get you. You said you'd burn the whole world down before letting something happen to me well now I get my second shot of proving I'd do the same."

That may also be an unresolved fear

"True. You did leave him last time." Flint points out.

"I was an idiot worrying about the wrong things. Go get me some acetone and I'll call Liz to get over here now."

You're still sick. Take a second.

"I feel fine now so I'll sit while I make the call. You stay put and just- be there okay. I need you to be there so I-" Michael flicks a glance at Flint and adjusts his words, "we can get you. I want you to come home Alex."

This is obviously a moment but all Flint heard was that Michael felt fine. He takes a second to assess Michael to see if he's lying about feeling better but he does look fine.

"Ortecho is taking too long so leave her a message and we can head out. I'll let Valenti know but no one else got it."

Flint quickly grabs his things and heads to his car.

There's pressure on his shoulder once he gets outside but Flint shakes it off.

"You can get all emotional after we get you back."

He looks around and doesn't see Michael yet so he allows himself this small moment with Alex.

"Just hold tight okay."

There's another press to his shoulder but this time it takes a bit longer to shake it off.

#malex #malex fic #roswell new mexico #Rnm spoilers #flint manes #michael guerin #alex manes #honestly fuck this season I can do it better #anti maria delcua #I called the morse code before the stupid episode #RNM my behated

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syncopation53 · 1 year

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Overall I think lightfall felt about the same as beyond light for me, maybe a little bit less so without eramis’ lore and the lack of (narrative) conflict when it comes to strand like stasis had. I know that we’re moving beyond the “light good, darkness bad” dogma, as drifter puts it, and it’s been three years at this point since stasis has been introduced and we’ve had time to get used to it, plus the fact that strand is more of a… I want to say “neutral force” than stasis, which had been an explicit gift from the witness as we now know. I’ve seen how it almost feels disjointed from the overall narrative, and I can sort of see where people are coming from. The missions with the meditation place and vex network almost seemed like adventures rather than a part of the campaign itself, which is a shame. I can see where they were going for the “secret power that the bad guys don’t know about but is hard to master so we only use it in Important Scenes and have a training montage about it,” but that’s me filling in the blanks after the fact, not an actual thought I had while running the campaign. I found osiris and ghost’s dialogue about the whole “perspective shift” thing to be laughable because I’d been doing the exact same things with strand I’d been doing from the beginning. There was no perspective shift for me just incessant banging on bungie’s door yelling to let me unlock strand in full already. Will be interested in getting more lore on the nature of darkness-based powers vs. light-based ones in the future. As you can tell by my recent posts, the ending was the true best thing story-wise. I felt completely dead inside after that 10/10 will be crying myself to sleep thinking oc thoughts for the next week.

The story was… alright, I’ll say. Somehow bungie made it feel like nothing was happening and simultaneously everything happened all at once. Definitely felt like I missed some stuff in my race to get to softcap so that the tormentors wouldn’t eat me for breakfast but I’ll definitely be doing the campaign again in full on my hunter to see if there’s anything I didn’t catch the first time. Titan… eh, I’m not usually a fan of video game microtransactions but if it’ll let me skip right to strand titan a bitch might just buy some silver.

I will say, I’ve never been a fan of calus’ lore. I didn’t actively dislike him or the cabal/uluran as a whole, and he is an interesting character in his own right, but I just never felt that personally interested in learning more about them like I had the hive and eliksni. However comma, his cutscenes with the witness were some of the highlights of the campaign for me. They carried, as the kids say. The other part being helmet-less cutscenes for lots of pretty screenshots of xira. Osiris was also a highlight for me. His character felt more in-line with that from curse of osiris than any other season I’ve played before (I know season of dawn was a huge hit but I’d been away for college at the time and thus couldn’t play for a while so I’m not familiar with the osiris lore from that). I liked his growth from pushing the guardian to master strand and getting frustrated when we failed to helping us hone our abilities and being proud and excited when we succeeded.

I’ll also throw in my two cents into the Nimbus Discourse as a non-binary person: they were fun. I liked them. I like that they’re not a 100% perfectly androgynous anime prettyboy and I know that’s caused people to misgender them but I enjoy their design overall. I can understand being annoyed with the voice modulations, but that’s about it. I understand their character, neomuna being a separate hidden colony on the second-to-last planet in the system whose last contact with earth was during the warlord era and all, and how blasé they were about things as this would probably be the first time they’re dealing with something other than the occasional vex incursion. I honestly didn’t feel that much when rohan died, but I’d originally thought what his “battle cry” was had come from nimbus as he sacrificed himself, and honestly I prefer to think of it that way because it’s clear in the following interlude and cutscene that nimbus is trying to deal with their grief through keeping themself busy with the legion, and also I’m guessing that cloud striders (and possibly neomuni in general) have different views on dying and the grieving process than earth-bound people do. I haven’t finished the quest for the void machine gun yet but I also hear the ending is pretty good as well.

Neomuna itself is a good location, maybe a little bit jarring compared to other destinations in destiny 2, but I’m sure that was intentional. Only thing I had a problem with is the patrol space being very unfriendly to little 1650 me when I tried doing some bounties and patrols for the first time. Even my arc buddy was struggling, we were in truly desperate times running around barely above the power floor trying not to get one-shot.

Season of defiance’s one (1) battleground is already getting on my nerves. I’m this close to turning off dialogue and subtitles whenever I’m waiting to load into it. The bosses were hell and I hate them, especially the last room. Not a fan of the activity but also excited for new things such as the seasonal exotic mission. I also liked the sort of minor update to the ascendant plane look, much easier to see where I’m going. I also like how open mara is with us now, as someone who used to have issues with her character her growth has been amazing to see.

Overall I’d give the lightfall campaign a solid “I mean, it wasn’t perfect, but still enjoyable at least.”

Season of defiance gets a “you tried” sticker for compensation.

#this turned out a lot longer than i expected sorry everyone #i’m sure there are more i’ve forgotten but i have schoolwork to complete so this is what it is #long post #destiny #destiny 2 #lightfall #lightfall spoilers #destiny 2 spoilers #season of defiance #season of defiance spoilers #just in case #legacy dot text

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minashiro-mcl-etc · 2 years

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Nu Carnival - Chapter 1 (light territory)

Story 1-04 NRJ = 7 Power level = 560

-------- room --------

Aster: Hey, dumbass incubus... I’ve thought of something.

Morvay: What a coincidence, shitty little vampire, me too.

Aster: He might be from Master’s bloodline. One of his long lost descendants or something.

Morvay: Hmm, you could be on to something. I’ve always thought it’s strange that such a generous Master... *cough* So well-loved by all the strange folk... *cough* Ahem... Well, it’s not impossible that he might have conceiveda few offspring...

Aster: Wow, if a dumbass incubus as loyal to master as you thinks so too, then I guess it really must be possible.

Morvay: That means, surprisingly, that pathetic excuse for a ceremony you conducted actually succeeded.

Aster: Huh? You wanna say that again, ya dumbass incubus? I dare ya! I’ll suck you dry as a bone!

Morvay: Bring it on! As it happens, I’m starving. Let’s see just who sucks dry who!

Eiden: ... Ermm... I’m still right here... (Although...I’m kinda enjoying watching these two hotties fight it out like this... *gasp* ... Ughh... My head... So dizzy again... I can hear a buzzing... Is fatigue finally catching up with me?) Ahhh... Feeling tired even in my dreams... This is too much. After I finish this piece of work , I don’t care whether it’s my day off or not, I’m gonna... take... a long rest...

Aster: Huh? Master! Or descendant of Master... Ahh, that’s a real pain to say! Let’s just call you Master for now. Are you okay? You don’t look so good...

Morvay: Hey! Master... Fine, we’ll call you Master for the time being... Huh? ... Aster.

Aster: I-It sounds so weird when you use my actual name...

Morvay: Can you fell Master’s essence?

Aster: Huh? M-Master’s essence... ... Morvay.

Morvay: Indeed, we better do something quick. It seems more serious than we thought.

Eiden: (S-Serious? Because I’ve been overworking? It’s gotta be! Did I poison myself with too many energy drinks? O-Or maybe it’s because the only thing I eat are those health supplements the celebrities advertise whenever I get hungry... Gotta think about my figure after all... Shit! There’s too many possible causes. If I get taken to hospital, I bet the doctors will have to filter everything out of my body one by one... I’ll be stuck there forever!)

Aster: Not good. If we don’t do something soon he might die.

Eiden: Con you die from overworking?! Ah, I guess maybe you can...

Morvay: I knew no good would come of that crudely performed ceremony of yours...

Aster: Even if we added those damn roses you suggested, the outcome would have been the same! Suddenly getting summoned to this world probably threw Master’s essence a little out of whack, that’s all.

Morvay: Nonsense! How could be Master’s essence be afected by something as simple as a summoning. It’s definitely due to a problem with the way you performed the ceremony.

Aster: Then we better treat this “Master” as if he’s our previous “Master”, right? If he’s just a descendant, the repercussions for summoning him could be huge...

Morvay: ... So... We...

Aster: We’ll have to take responsability...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Between 1-04 and 1-05 (sex secene) FREE

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story 1-06 NRJ = 7 Power level = 767

--------- Room ---------

Eiden: Well... erm... I-I’m gonna go for a walk... and ponder the meaning of life...! Or something like that...

Morvay: Oh, no problem.

Aster: Take care, Master!

Eiden: You two really get straight down to business, huh... But... for just now... *cough*... Thanks...

Aster: Huh? Thanks? Isn’t that our line?

Morvay: Who knows? He’s so polite. Master Huey was always so care-free. This one’s totally different. Even if his scent is similar, I still...

Aster: Hey, dumbass incubus, still suspicious? Who was the one sucking cock as if it was the end of the world just now?!

Morvay: That’s because it was...urgent... A very urgent situation, you damn shitty little vampire! (Although, I have to admit it really was delicious. It’s been years since I’ve tasted essence that good...)

Aster: Ermm...

Morvay: What now?!

Aster: That glowing stone over there on the floor. Is that --

Morvay: Huh? This is Master’s... “gemstone”. The human must have brought it with him.

Aster: Then that must mean...

----------- Garden -----------

Eiden: Wow, this garden is huge!

As Eiden walks out of the grand entrance hall, he emerges into a courtyard so huge he can’t even see where it ends. It would likely take a half hour drive just to get to the main gates. The trees look as if they’re regularly trimmed, and there are a only a few fallen leaves on the lawn. The gardener must take pride in his work.

Eiden: Is this some kind of villa or mansion?

This isn’t the first time Eiden has taken on an urgent piece of work for a rich client, but it’s the first time he’s been brought to such an extravagent residence. As he takes a few deep breaths, the hot and uncomfortable sensations he could feel earlier have disappeared. Eiden had been guessing that, as soon as he closed his eys again, he’d return to the office... or his home... or at worst, the hospital. But he’s still in this place. He gives himself a pinch on the face and, sure enough, the pain is real.

Eiden: So, after all that... this really isn’t a dream...? (Then where the hell am I? If this isn’t a dream, I must’ve got swept up in some evil scheme, right? Or else, I really did die and go to heaven?)

? ?: GRAAARRR --

Eiden: Wahh! Dogs? N-No, wait a minute... Wolves!? What the hell are these things?!! Aghhh! They’re coming this way!

Morvay: Master! Watch out --

Aster: Ohh... Shit! Master! --

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Story 1-07

----------- Garden -----------

Eiden: *pant*... Why the hell are there such dangerous creatures here...? (There’s no way there could be anything this scary in heaven! This place definitely isn’t heaven...)

Morvay: SHITTY! LITTLE! VAMPIRE!

Aster: It’s okeay. Settle down. There we go. There’s nothing to be scared of.

morvay: As soon as my back is turned, you run off and waste money on new pets!

Eiden: Pets? Just where did you get those things?

Aster: Ermm, let me explain --

Morvay: Just because you have enough money to cover the next hundred years, there’s no need to spend it like this! Have you forgotten the last time your pets escaped and terrorized a nearby village?! You still haven’t learned your lesson!

Aster: Hey, no fair! That incident was settled long ago!

Morvay: You mean how you tampered with the minds of the villagers and changed their memories of seeing your “pets” into memories of seeing the boss of a local gang of bandits running around butt-naked?

Eiden: Wow... poor guy...

Aster: Aren’t I just the smartest? Bandits go around doing all sorts of bad stuff, anyway. He deserved it.

Morvay: Smart my ass!

Aster: Ohhh... my adorable little babies... Bobo, Pipi and Momo... Getting hurt like this... I just wanted them to get used to the garden, that’s all...

Eiden: (What the hell is with those names...)

Morvay: Pah! They just lost a few teeth, that’s all. They’ll grow back tomorrow... Anyway, you’re gonna suffocate them to death, holding them so tight like that.

Aster: Huh? I would never... Ahh! Why is Momo frothing at the mouth!

Morvay: *sigh*...

Eiden: Hah... (After all that, I still have no idea what the hell this place is --)

#nu carnival #chapter 1 #story

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ranger-august · 2 years

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Gay HoracexWill headcanons but it turns into headcanons about Horace, Will, Cassandra, Alyssand Maddie. Plus a random George pop in???

It’s long so I’m putting a cut

•They’re not in a relationship but they do play around sexually and experiment with each other

•Halt is aware of it but pretends not to be because he and Crowley did the same

•Horace really likes basic pop music (Taylor swift, Billie eyelash, the works) and suppresses it for years. He only stopped because Will gave him a large talking to about healthy masculinity

•It wasn’t Horace’s fault. He didn’t know any better. Society did him dirty

•Horace is pansexual and demiromantic

•After the whole Morgarath thing, Horace takes up crocheting as a coping skill

•Pauline teaches him and displays all the pieces he makes for her around the house. Everything from the lopsided beginning squares to his little stuffed animals

•Pauline knows how to crochet because it’s part of diplomacy training. Not only is it important to know the skill for going undercover purposes but it teaches the skill of practicing until you get it right and patience

•The relationships between Cassie&Horace and Alyss&Will are not as separate as they lead others to think

•The only exemption to that is Cassie and Will. They see each other as siblings and nothing more

•What I’m trying to say is they’re in a happy polyamorous relationship

•This does stop once Maddie is born and Alyss.

Maddie found Will’s journal from that time once when she was snooping while Will was out and vomited

•She never snooped again. Will thought he had just succeeded in drilling honesty into her

•Will and Horace both have PTSD and one of the ways they deal with it is they have identical stuffed animals that they sleep with every night

•When they see each other they switch stuffed animals so they always have a piece of the other with them

•Horace and Cassandra try to sneak up on and scare Will but it never works

•They complain to Pauline about it and she smiles

•Horace has dyslexia and Will helps him with his reading etc.

•Horace goes to pride and wears one of those “Free Dad Hugs” shirts

•Will thinks it’s the corniest things ever but loves it

•George unironically has an among us obsession to everyone’s amusement

•They are the master of “your mom” and “yo mama” jokes because they don’t have a mom

•They lose this ability when Pauline and Halt get married

•Pauline and Halt set up an adoption law process thingy and adopt Will

•Everyone cries

•They have a “gotcha day” party every year

•Every couple I’ve mentioned here is the definition of a power couple

•You know the line in Hamilton where the people talk about how they feel like they can grab a beer with Aaron Burr?

•That’s Horace

•He’s widely loved by the kingdom and is completely innocent to the extreme thirst that people have for him

•Oblivious would be a better word. Someone could scream …stuff at him and he’d shout back that he’s married

•Maddie develops a new code for the diplomats and rangers which is used for more long distance

•It consists of stitching code into embroidery

•Similar to how braids where used in the Underground Railroad

•It had an extra bonus of the same things that crochet does, as I mentioned above

#wow that’s long #oops #rangers apprentice #ranger's apprentice #ranger august #august speaks #rangers apprentice headcanon #:)#headcanons

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miniaturebelieverbird · 2 years

Text

July 13, 2022

After a year and a half hiatus, MBB is back at it!!.. After it took me a few tries to get into this account lol

So here is an update since the last time I logged in: I graduated graduate school with my Masters in Occupational therapy, I figured out what population and area I want to work in, and I have almost made it to 2 years working at Sbux. I’ve started to go to therapy and have moved back home full time (since May 2021). J has graduated high school and he is going to be moving onto OSU’s campus this fall as a sophomore. I’ve gone on a few Tinder dates, but nothing has come from them. I’ve realized that I am pansexual and I am learning to accept myself as I am. Reading over my old posts has made me realize that I have lost faith in God and I don’t know if I want to gain it back. My dad has cancer. My Gran almost died in March. So many things in my life have changed since the last post and it is shocking to think about them all at once.

Here is the kicker, though: I have failed my board exam twice. Both times were only by a few points, but it still cuts like a knife. I have always been one to keep going after bad things happen or if things don’t go my way, but friends, this time is it extremely difficult. I understand that these tests are meant to be super, duper hard, but there is a little part of my that thinks that if I can’t even pass this test, how am I suppose to do this in real life? Then I think about all of the people and kiddos I helped in my internships and I know that this is what I want to do. I then realized that this is definitely something I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I am working through the maldaptive thoughts that everyone is disappointed in my for failing twice. I feel as if I always need to be succeeding to be able to face everyone else. I need to unlearn those thoughts. My own path in life is not the same as my former classmates. It is not the same as my brother’s or my best friend’s or my coworkers at Sbux. I also need to start adopting the attitude of “who cares what others think?” No one is walking in my shoes and I am the only one who needs to worry about what I am doing. I am proud of myself for sticking to this this long. A lot of things have happened in my life this year and it has been extremely difficult to concentrate on anything else. Do I need to learn to compartmentalize things? Absolutely. But, for now, I am going to wallow in self-pity today and then start studying again tomorrow. This time around, 3rd time is the charm and I refuse to take this test again. Looks like i will have to prove my own mind wrong and finish it this time.

Until then, stay safe and stay kind, friends <3.

--MBB

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askthefuturegleeks · 2 years

Photo

Thank you for joining the campaign to bring the arts to future generations, OLIVER BRAY, we’re happy to have you! If you want a refresher on what to do next, feel free to look at the WELCOME CHECKLIST. Please send your account in within the next 48 hours so that you can get started.

ooc information NAME: Char

AGE: 28

PRONOUNS: she/her

SHIPS: Oliver w/ chem

ANTI-SHIPS: Oliver w/o chem

basic ic information NAME: Oliver Bray

BIRTHDAY/ZODIAC: March 18, 1989 Pisces

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Tech Mogul

CURRENT LOCATION: New York, recently having moved from LA

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single but not available

FC: Matthew Lewis

twitter post @THEOLIVERBRAY: (How about those Lakers?.) #IDON'TREALLYCARE

in character questions Answer these in character, and feel free to add gifs into your answers.

1.) What did you want to do with your life when you were younger? What would the child version of yourself think about the path you paved for yourself?

I wanted to do whatever would get me out of where I was the quickest when I was a child. So, I would say I succeeded and would be proud. The place I was going was anywhere but there, which is exactly where I am.

2.) What is your proudest accomplishment? Don’t be afraid to talk about what it took to achieve it and how you feel about it as well.

Opening my tech startup. Even though I've gotten here from there, if I never would have taken the leap to get things going I never would have made it.

3.) If you could do anything you wanted for one whole day, what would it be and why?

That isn't something I'm at liberty to answer. t really anyway.

where are they now?

Oliver was born in Lima Ohio, in Lima Heights, into a family that was never truly equipped to have a child. Both of his parents were into drugs, both using and selling. Their house was always a mess, and from the youngest possible age Oliver was forced to take care of himself in all ways possible. He also spent a good deal of his time taking care of his parents.

Oliver always excelled in school and was more than determined to make himself a success, a name, and a way out of Lima as soon as possible. As an elementary schooler he began working whatever odd jobs he could come up with, and doing whatever others would pay him for, to begin saving up cash for himself.

When Oliver turned 14 his parents began to pull him into their dealing deals and schemes, recognizing that if things went south he would likely incur little to no punishment. Luckily, their theory was never tested. Oliver hated what he was asked to do, but ultimately understood how to play the game, and used it as an opportunity to continue squirreling away his own money.

While attending McKinley he became the provider for the school, thin rough his parents, but no one would have ever suspected anything due to his grades. He graduated high school near the top of his class, in the top 2%, and then moved on to college full ride. He continued working full time despite his scholarship and considerable sum of money he had saved up over the years, only to continue contributing to his own wealth

Oliver graduated with his Bachelor's in Business once again at the top of his class, and proceeded on to his Master's Degree Engineering. Throughout his life Oliver had a specific interest in technology, which is something he pursued on his own outside of his primary courses, paying for his own classes and certifications as he climbed the business ranks.

By the time he graduated his Master's Program Oliver had amassed a small fortune for himself, cut off contact with his family completely, and had proposed a patent for a small app that helped with secure tracking and location services. Once the app began to take off, Oliver moved to LA to begin his tech startup and make a name for himself in the Silicon Valley.

Oliver spent 5 years there, where he skyrocketed financially and within his business, earning himself a name as one of the leading tech moguls in the industry. Having developed 5 apps and with investments in several robotics companies and AI patents, he felt the urge to expand. Having heard many people from his high school had moved to New York, he decided to do the same. It has been almost a year and he and his business are thriving...Professionally at least.

#glee rp #oc rp #fandom rp #atfg admin #accepted

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cursekept · 2 years

Text

sukha - voice lines.

sukha has a generally warm voice that runs on the deeper end. therefore, it’s only fitting that he shares a voice with mr “ pick a god and pray ” himself, frederick. though, if angered, he sounds a bit more like lon’qu ...

voice - over.

hello ... you may call me father or sukha or whatever makes you most comfortable. nothing too crazy, though. please.

good morning ... nothing like a nice little adventure after the morning mass. how have you honored your faith insofar ?

good afternoon ... noon ... to think some people are just rising at this time. i sometimes wish i had the luxury, especially after a long night of nursing ... ah, never mind. a priest shouldn’t reveal his vices so openly. i wouldn’t want to steer you down the wrong path.

good evening ... perhaps we should make haste --- before it becomes too dark. ... why ? oh, i’m not afraid of the dark, no. i’m just concerned. i already attract enough ghosts as it is during the day.

good night ... well, i should head back. it’s my pleasure to assist you, traveler, but i do worry for the people of springvale while i’m away. and, er, the pantry ...

chat - confession ... i hear the confessions of all that seek forgiveness, no matter how small the sin. if there is something that you, too, seek to get off your chest, traveler, know that i will lend you an ear. .... with a bottle of wine ? ha ha ... w - where are you hearing such things ?

chat - eye ... hm ? my eye ? i don’t know what you’re talking about. it seems to be working just fine on my end.

chat - traveling ... it’s been a long time since i’ve traveled like this. it takes me back to my youth ... haha, kidding. i’m only twenty - six. it’s just that i’ve been “ settled down ” for the past few years.

chat - prayer ... “ heart be pure, evil be erased. mind be purged, world be saved ... ” oh ? are you done ? i was just praying. let’s get going.

when it rains ... i really don’t like the rain, hydro vision wielder or not. snow at least has some charm to it, but rain just leaves you cold and uncomfortable like some poorly planned spectacle.

when the sun is out ... ah --- too bright ! it burns ... ! oh, er, sorry to worry you, traveler. i just have quite the headache and that sunlight is leading an all - out assault on my brain ...

when the wind is blowing ... refreshing, don’t you think ?

about sukha ... call faith in the gods what you wish, i have no right to dictate what your beliefs are, but there’s something important about believing in something and dedicating yourself to that. find something, anything, and you will find a way through whatever struggles life presents you with.

about us - purpose ... i know at times things seem bleak, but we will find your sibling. it’s good to have a purpose like that, a goal to strive toward ... anything i can do, within reason, please let me know.

about us - hope ... you’re a compelling one, traveler. i have hope for us succeeding.

about the vision ... without it, i wouldn’t be able to entirely do my job as a priest, exorcist, and protector. thaumaturgy only goes so far. as much as i detest it, i can’t deny that.

anything to share ... if you’re looking for a fair trial, you will technically find one in the courts of fontaine. if you’re looking for forgiveness for a grave sin, never set foot in their churches. it may as well be a bastardized courtroom with how they run things there. oh ... i’m sorry for being so blunt.

interesting things ... i craft talismans in my free time, you know. would you like one, too ? i’ve been trying to learn how to make them more fashionable, so i’m sure i can make something to your tastes ... seeing as i can’t always be there to chase away spirits. then again, maybe my absence would have the same effect.

about diluc ... master diluc is a kind young man. don’t believe me ? well, i guess his disposition can be a bit misleading at times. he does what needs to be done, is all. i wasn’t in mondstadt for long before he left for those three years, but no one was without praise for his feats. i believe, though he’s grown now and has discarded childish naivete, he still carries that virtue within his heart. maybe don’t let him know i said that.

about kaeya ... the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius ? yes, i know him. he and i share similar tastes when it comes to that which can be found in a tavern. that’s where the similarities end, however. the differences between us and the circumstances under which we met are not something i like to delve into. and the privacy of another is to be respected.

about chongyun ... a few years back, when still serving in fontaine, i was sent to liyue to study exorcism with a famous clan of exorcists. this was when i ran into chongyun for the first time. i expected to be haunted by all manner of demons while there, however, the congenital positivity of his clan chased away even those that flocked to me ... i didn’t think it was possible. as much as i am jealous of that power, i wouldn’t trade places if it meant he’d have the burden of my curse. ... you know, we were never on our own, so the positivity was overwhelming. i wonder what would win out if it were just the two of us. maybe he’d get to finally see a demon or spirit ?

more about sukha - i ... alleviation of spiritual burdens and advice are what i am most adept at. physical ailments are a different breed. my sort of healing can’t give without taking from others.

more about sukha - ii ... i wasn’t born an exorcist. i didn’t develop my abilities until i received my vision. my curse, however, has persisted for my entire life. ... what is my curse exactly ? ah ... ha ha ... my tendency to attract the supernatural, of course ... nothing else.

more about sukha - iii ... fontaine and mondstadt are the only places that i have called home, though they’re not where i was born. i would very much like to avoid that place. it’s not a kind land, it’s monstrous and unforgiving, the people themselves ... why, one could say they’re godless. er, please excuse me ...

more about sukha - iv ... if demons are driven away by positivity, then they are drawn by nerves. their appearance, in turn, makes me more nervous. my thaumaturgy can be considered flawless; my disposition is what is my downfall. i like to consider myself unshakeable in all other ways. the supernatural, however ... i have been granted another use for ceremonial wine, even if my curse can never really be quelled. thankfully, this makes it easier to draw spirits away from others when i am performing my duties ...

more about sukha - v ... that monstrous form i take when i use the full power of my vision, that is my real power. my real curse. the claws are manageable. they retract. the fangs can be written off. i don’t even try with them. my eye, though ... that’s a horror that must be concealed at all times by magical or non - magical means. isn’t it disgusting ... ? maybe i shouldn’t have shared that. seems the exhaustion and my cups have gotten to me ...

sukha’s hobbies ... i’m also a connoisseur of wine. i don’t keep such priceless vintage in my church though. i have another, secret location.

sukha’s troubles ... a bit ago, i awoke in the middle of the night. well, i wouldn’t entirely call it waking. i was conscious, though i couldn’t move. at the edge of my bed, goat man. he was chomping away at a bottle of wine. yes, a bottle ! the entire thing ! the wine itself had spilled all over the floor ! i mentioned it to a friend to try and find a cause. they just said i probably spilled it in some drunken stupor. rude ... i’m never that careless, especially with wine. why don’t any of my methods work on that creature ?

favorite food ... i don’t have a favorite --- i love everything, but, sometimes, i don’t eat unless i’m reminded or almost pass out. i don’t know how i’m still alive, either.

least favorite food ... anything made with any part of a goat. i can’t look goats the same again. which is a shame. goat cheese is really good ...

birthday ... you’re another year older. isn’t that interesting ? life continues to perpetuate ... i am happy to have met you, traveler, therefore i mean it wholeheartedly when i say “ happy birthday ”.

feelings about ascension - intro ... are you sure you wish to buy into this sort of power ? as long as it keeps you all safe, i suppose ...

feelings about ascension - building up ... ah, this strength ... i feel as if i’ll slip up and commit something most unholy.

feelings about ascension - climax ... hehe ... ah, er ... um ... please don’t look at me like that.

feelings about ascension - conclusion ... your faith in me has been key in making it this far. thank you. i never thought i could become this strong without losing myself.

battle & exploration.

added to party

i’m here for you.

i’ll be your shield.

please, put your faith in me.

elemental burst

you will not touch them !

die.

stay ... AWAY !

idle

hm ? my eye ? i don’t know what you’re talking about. it seems to be working just fine on my end.

it’s been a long time since i’ve traveled like this. it takes me back to my youth ... haha, kidding. i’m only twenty - six. it’s just that i’ve been “ settled down ” for the past few years.

“ heart be pure, evil be erased. mind be purged, world be saved ... ” oh ? are you done ? i was just praying. let’s get going.

gliding

mmm ... to be taken by the wind ...

damage

a - ah ... ow ...

knocked out

are they ... safe ?

so this ... is the cure ...

use me ... well ...

#❛ out. ✦ / ❝ ( be at peace. )#❛ s. ✦ / ❝ ( assembling their philosophies from pieces of broken memories. )

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

Text

Gingerbread man as golem

@yaronata asked:

I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.

These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?

I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!

My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.

However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:

1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.

2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )

3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)

As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.

I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3

--Shira

I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.

As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.

--Dierdra

This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊

At first I was confused by this part:

She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice

But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!

Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:

A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.

A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.

A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.

A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.

Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?

Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’

Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.

Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)

But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.

Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!

-Shoshi

I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D

--Shira

#asks #Jewish #dnd #golem #food #Jewish stereotypes

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bringbackthebastard · 3 years

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Bring Back the Bastard Daily Prompts

Hello, folks! I'm posting these two weeks before we begin our fest, on September 1st, to give folks some inspiration on what to write each day as we celebrate Severus Snape's pettiest, most dastardly moments. I specifically picked out moments Snaters always harp on, that Snapedom personally enjoys--from any moment with Trevor to bitching at Lupin at Sirius, to the moments that Lily turns away and Dumbledore's face flashes with disgust--sure, he's a bastard, but he's our bastard, and that's what we like about him. You don't want him? Good. We'll keep him. Here are 30 scene prompts for 30 days--it's a long list, pulled chronologically from all seven books, but I found that it reminded me of everything I love about this character. The moments where he's called deranged, the moments where he slips into all-caps, the ugliest moments of the soul. Hope yall enjoy. Excited to kick off the fest starting September 1st, and absolutely excited to see what Snapedom will do. Let's Bring Back the Bastard! The prompts are below the readmore.

Day 1: The Scar Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacheer with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin. It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes--and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead. "Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head. "What is it?" asked Percy. "N-nothing." The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look--a felling that he didn't like Harry at all. "Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy. "Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to--everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."

Day 2: Bad Impressions Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name. "Ah, yes," he said softly. "Harry Potter. Our new--celebrity."

Day 3: Potions Class "Potter!" said Snape suddenly "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of what? Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand shot into the air. "I don't know, sir," said Harry. Snape's lips curled into a sneer. "Tut, tut--fame clearly isn't everything."

Day 4: A Horrible Sight Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees. One of his legs was bloody and mangled. Filch was handing Snape bandages. "Blasted thing," Snape was saying. "How are you supposed to keep your eyes on all three heads at once?" Harry tried to shut the door quietly, but-- "POTTER!" Snape's face was twisted with fury as he dropped his robes quickly to hide his leg. Harry gulped. "I just wondered if I could have my book back." "GET OUT! OUT!"

Day 5: Maybe He's Ill "Hang on..." Harry muttered to Ron. "There's an empty chair at the staff table...Where's Snape?" Professor Severus Snape was Harry's least favorite teacher. Harry also happened to be Snape's least favorite student. Cruel, sarcastic, and disliked by everybody except the students from his own House (Slytherin), Snape taught Potions. "Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully. "Maybe he's left," said Harry, "because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!" "Or he might have been sacked!" said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him--" "Or maybe," said a very cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."

Day 6: Slytherin Takes the Field "But I booked the field!" said Wood, positively spitting with rage. "But I booked it!" "Ah," said Flint. "But I've got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape. 'I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Seeker.'"

Day 7: No Quidditch For You! "I suggest, Headmaster, that Potter is not being entirely truthful," he said. "It might be a good idea if he were deprived of certain privileges until he is ready to tell us the whole story. I personally feel he should be taken off the Gryffindor Quidditch team until he is ready to be honest." "Really, Severus," said Professor McGonagall sharply, "I see no reason to stop the boy playing Quidditch. This cat wasn't hit over the head with a broomstick. There is no evidence at all that Potter has done anything wrong." Dumbledore was giving Harry a searching look. His twinkling light-blue gaze made Harry feel as though he were being X-rayed. "Innocent until proven guilty, Severus," he said firmly. Snape looked furious.

Day 8: Expelliarmus! "Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," said Lockhart, flashing a wide smile. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry--you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!" "Wouldn't it be good if they finished each other off?" Ron muttered in Harry's ear. Snape's upper lip was curling. Harry wondered why Lockhart was still smiling; if Snape had been looking at *him* like that he'd have been running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Lockhart and Snape turned to face each other and bowed; at least, Lockhart did, with much twirling of his hands, whereas Snape jerked his head irritably. Then they raised their wands like swords in front of them. "As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position," Lockhart told the silent crowd. "On the count of three, we will cast our fist spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course." "I wouldn't bet on that," Harry murmured, watching Snape baring his teeth. "One--two--three--" Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent; Snape cried: "Expelliarmus!" There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light and Lockhart was blasted off his feet. He flew backward off the stage, smashed into the wall, and slid down it to sprawl on the floor.

Day 9: Only Bite Him A Little Bit, Please "Don't move, Potter," said Snape lazily, clearly enjoying the sight of Harry standing motionless, eye to eye with the angry snake. "I'll get rid of it..."

Day 10: Poisoning Trevor The end of the lesson in sight, Snape strode over to Neville, who was cowering by his cauldron. "Everyone gather 'round," said Snape, his black eyes glittering, "and watch what happens to Longbottom's toad. If he has managed to produce a Shrinking Solution, it will shrink to a tadpole. If, as I don't doubt, he has done it wrong, his toad is likely to be poisoned." The Gryffindors watched fearfully. The Slytherins looked excited. Snape picked up Trevor the toad in his left hand and dipped a small spoon into Neville's potion, which was now green. He trickled a few drops down Trevor's throat. There was a moment of hushed silence, in which Trevor gulped; then there was a small op, and Trevor the tadpole was wriggling in Snape's palm. The Gryffindors burst into applause. Snape, looking sour, pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his robe, poured a few drops on top of Trevor, and he reappeared suddenly, fully grown. "Five points from Gryffindor," said Snape, which wiped smiles from every face. "I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed."

Day 11: Insufferable Know-It-All Everyone sat in motionless silence; everyone except Hermione, whose hand, as it so often did, had shot straight into the air. "Anyone?" Snape said, ignoring Hermione. His twisted smile was back. "Are you telling me that Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between--" "We told you," said Parvati suddenly, "we haven't got as far as werewolves yet, we're still on--" "Silence!" snarled Snape. "Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognize a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are..." "Please, sir," said Hermione, whose hand was still in the air, "the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf--" "That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," said Snape coolly. "Fire more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Day 12: Your Saintly Father "I would hate for you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter," he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. "Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you--your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn't gotten cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts." Snape's uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.

Day 13: Don't Talk About What You Don't Understand "KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" Snape shouted, looking suddenly quite deranged. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out of the end o his wand, which was still pointed at Black's face. Hermione fell silent. "Vengeance is very sweet," Snape breathed at Black. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you..." "The joke's on you again, Severus," Black snarled. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle" --he jerked his head at Ron-- "I'll come quietly...." "Up to the castle?" said Snape silkily. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black...pleased enough to give you a little Kiss, I daresay...."

Day 14: A Great Disappointment "He must have Disapparated, Severus. We should have let somebody in the room with him. When this gets out--" "HE DIDN'T DISAPPARATE!" Snape roared, now very close at hand. "YOU CAN'T APPARATE *OR* DISAPPARATE INSIDE THIS CASTLE! THIS--HAS--SOMETHING--TO--DO--WITH--POTTER!" "Severus--be reasonable--Harry has been locked up--" BAM. The door of the hospital wing burst open. Fudge, Snape, and Dumbledore came striding into the ward. Dumbledore alone looked calm. Indeed, he looked as though he was quite enjoying himself. Fudge appeared angry. But Snape was beside himself. "OUT WITH IT, POTTER!" he bellowed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" "Professor Snape!" shrieked Madam Pomfrey. "Control yourself!" "See here, Snape, be reasonable," said Fudge. "This door's been locked, we just saw--" "THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!" Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione. His face was twisted; spit was flying from his mouth. "Calm down, man!" Fudge barked. "You're talking nonsense!" "YOU DON'T KNOW POTTER!" shrieked Snape. "HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT--" "That will do, Severus," said Dumbledore quietly. "Think about what you are saying. This door has been locked since I left the war ten minutes ago. Madam Pomfrey, have these students left their beds?" "Of course not!" said Madam Pomfrey, bristling. "I would have heard them!" "Well, there you have it, Severus," said Dumbledore calmly. "Unless you are suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once, I'm afraid I don't see any point in troubling them further." Snape stood there, seething, staring from Fudge, who looked thoroughly shocked at his behavior, to Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling behind his glasses. Snape whirled about, robes swishing behind him, and stormed out of the ward. "Fellow seems quite unbalanced," said Fudge, staring after him. "I'd watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore." "Oh, he's not unbalanced," said Dumbledore quietly. "He's just suffered a severe disappointment."

Day 15: Haven't You Heard? "Blimey, haven' yeh heard?" said Hagrid, his smile fading a little. He lowered his voice, even though there was nobody in sight. "Er--Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'....Thought everyone'd know by now...Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose on the grounds las' night...He's packin' now, o' course."

Day 16: I See No Difference "And what is all this noise about?" said a soft, deadly voice. Snape had arrived. The Slytherins clamored to give their explanations; Snape pointed a long yellow finger at Malfoy and said, "Explain." "Potter attacked me, sir--" "We attacked each other at the same time!" Harry shouted. "--and he hit Goyle--look--" Snape examined Goyle, whose face now resembled something that would have been at home in a book on poisonous fungi. "Hospital wing, Goyle," Snape said calmly. "Malfoy got Hermione!" Ron said. "Look!" He forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth--she was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape's back. Snape looked coldly at Hermione, then said, "I see no difference."

Day 17: The Dark Mark Snape strode forward, past Dumbledore, pulling up the left sleeve of his robes as he went. He struck out his forearm and showed it to Fudge, who recoiled. "There," said Snape harshly. "There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can still see it. Every Death Eater had the sign burned into him by the Dark Lord. It was a means of distinguishing one another, and his means of summoning us to him. When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to Disapparate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side. This Mark has been growing clearer all year. Karkaroff's too. Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight? We both felt the Mark burn. We both knew he had returned. Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord's vengeance. He betrayed too many of his fellow Death Eater to be sure of a welcome back into the fold."

Day 18: If You Are Ready...If You Are Prepared... "Severus," said Dumbledore, turning to Snape, "you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready...if you are prepared..." "I am," said Snape. He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely. "Then good luck," said Dumbledore, and he watched, with a trace of apprehension on his face, as Snape swept wordlessly after Sirius.

Day 19: Obviously "Now...how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" she asked, her quill poised over her clipboard. "Fourteen years," Snape replied. His expression was unfathomable. His eyes on Snape, Harry added a few drops to his potion; it hissed menacingly and turned from turquoise to orange. "You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Professor Umbridge asked Snape. "Yes," said Snape quietly. "But you were unsuccessful?" Snape's lip curled. "Obviously." Professor Umbridge scribbled on her clipboard. "And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?" "Yes," said Snape quietly, barely moving his lips. He looked very angry. "Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?" asked Umbridge. "I suggest you ask him," said Snape jerkily. "Oh I shall," said Professor Umbridge with a sweet smile. "I suppose this is relevant?" Snape asked, his black eyes narrowed. "Oh yes," said Professor Umbridge. "Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers'--er--backgrounds...." She turned away, walked over to Pansy Parkinson, and began questioning her about the lessons. Snape looked around at Harry and their eyes met for a second. Harry hastily dropped his gaze to his potion, which was now congealing foully and giving off a strong smell of burned rubber. "No marks again, then, Potter," said Snape maliciously, emptying Harry's cauldron with a wave of his wand. "You will write me an essay on the correct composition of this potion, indicating how and why you went wrong, to be handed in next lesson, do you understand?"

Day 20: Very Like His Father "How touching," Snape sneered. "But surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?" Yes, I have," said Sirius proudly. "Well then, you'll know he's so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him," Snape said sleekly. Sirius pushed his chair roughly aside and strode around the table toward Snape, pulling out his wand as he went; Snape whipped out his own. They were squaring up to each other, Sirius looking livid, Snape calculating, his eyes darting from Sirius' wand-tip to his face. "Sirius!" said Harry loudly, but Sirius appeared not to hear him. "I've warned you, Snivellus," said Sirius, his face barely a foot from Snape's, "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better." "Oh, but why don't you tell him so?" whispered Snape. "Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother's house for six months very seriously?" "Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he's delighted his lapdog's working at Hogwarts, isn't he?" "Speaking of dogs," said Snape softly, "did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform...gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in future, didn't it?" Sirius raised his wand. "NO!" Harry yelled, vaulting over the table and trying to get in between them, "Sirius, don't--" "Are you calling me a coward?" roared Sirius, trying to push Harry out of the way, but Harry would not budge. "Why, yes, I suppose I am," said Snape.

Day 21: Wormtail's Whine "We...we are alone, aren't we?" Narcissa asked quietly. "Yes, of course. Well, Wormtail's here, but we're not counting vermin, are we?" He pointed his wand at the wall of books behind him and with a bang, a hidden door flew open, revealing a narrow staircase upon which a small man stood frozen. "As you have clearly realized, Wormtail, we have guests," said Snape lazily. The man crept, hunchbacked, down the last few steps and moved into the room. He had small, watery eyes, a pointed nose, and wore an unpleasant simper. His left hand was caressing his right, which looked as though it was encased in a bright silver glove. "Narcissa!" he said, in a squeaky voice. "And Bellatrix! How charming--" "Wormtail will get us drinks, if you'd like them," said Snape. "And then he will return to his bedroom." Wormtail winced as though Snape had thrown something at him. "I am not your servant!" he squeaked, avoiding Snape's eyes. "Really? I was under the impression that the Dark Lord placed you here to assist me." "To assist, yes--but not to make you drinks and--clean your house!" "I had no idea, Wormtail, that you were craving more dangerous assignments," said Snape silkily. "This can be easily arranged: I shall speak to the Dark Lord--" "I can speak to him if I want to!" "Of course you can," said Snape, sneering. "But in the meantime, bring us drinks. Some of the elf-made wine will do."

Day 22: A Loving Caress Snape set off around the edge of the room, speaking now in a lower voice; the class craned their necks to keep him in view. "The Dark Arts," said Snape, "are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible." Harry stared at Snape. It was surely one thing to respect the Dark Arts as a dangerous enemy, another to speak of them, as Snape was doing, with a loving caress in his voice? "Your defenses," said Snape, a little louder, "must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo. These pictures" --he indicated a few of them as he swept past-- "give a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance, the Cruciatus Curse" --he waved a hand toward a witch who was clearly shrieking in agony-- "feel the Dementor's Kiss" --a wizard lying huddled and blank-eyed, slumped against a wall-- "or provoke the aggression of the Inferius" --a bloody mass upon the ground.

Day 23: Better People "What does it matter?" said Malfoy. "Defense Against the Dark Arts--it's all just a joke, isn't it, an act? Like an of us need protecting against the Dark Arts--" "It is an act that is crucial to success, Draco!" said Snape. "Where do you think I would have been all these years, if I had not known how to act? Now listen to me! You are being incautious, wandering around at night, getting yourself caught, and if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle--" "They're not the only ones, I've got other people on my side, better people!" "Then why not confide in me, and I can--" "I know what you're up to! You want to steal my glory!" There was another pause, then Snape said coldly, "You are speaking like a child. I quite understand that your father's capture and imprisonment has upset you, but--"

Day 24: Revulsion and Hatred Etched on His Face "Severus..." The sound frightened Harry beyond anything he had experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading. Snape said nothing, but walked forward and pushed Malfoy roughly out of the way. The three Death Eaters fell back without a word. Even the werewolf seemed cowed. Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face. "Severus...please..." Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. "Avada Kedavra!"

Day 25: Don't Call Me Coward Mustering all his powers of concentration, Harry thought, Levi-- "No, Potter!" screamed Snape. There was a loud BANG and Harry was soaring backward, hitting the ground hard again, and this time his wand flew out of his hand. He could hear Hagrid yelling and Fang howling as Snape closed in and looked down on him where he lay, wandless and defenseless as Dumbledore had been. Snape's pale face, illuminated by the flaming cabin, was suffused with hatred just as it had been before he had cursed Dumbledore. "You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them--I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, woudl you? I don't think so...no!" Harry had dived for his wand; Snape shot a hex at it and it flew feet away into the darkness and out of sight. "Kill me then," panted Harry, who felt no fear at all, but only rage and contempt. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward--" "DON'T--" screamed Snape, and his face was suddenly deranged, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them-- "CALL ME COWARD!"

Day 26: The Guest Voldemort raised Lucius Malfoy's wand, pointed it directly at the slowing revolving figure suspended over the table, and gave it a tiny flick. The figure came to life with a groan and began to struggle against invisible bonds. "Do you recognize our guest, Severus?" asked Voldemort. Snape raised his eyes to the upside-down face. All of the Death Eaters were looking up at the captive now, as thought they had been given permission to show curiosity. As she revolved to face the firelight, the woman said in a cracked and terrified voice, "Severus! Help me!" "Ah, yes," said Snape as the prisoner turned slowly away again.

Day 27: I Regret It "All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner...and I think I have the answer." Snape did not speak. "Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen." "My Lord--" "The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine." "My Lord!" Snape protested, raising his wand. "It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last." And Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand. It did nothing to Snape, who for a split second seemed to think he had been reprieved: But then Voldemort's intention became clear. The snake's cage was rolling through the air, and before Snape could do anything more than yell, it had encased him, head and shoulders, and Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue. "Kill." There was a terrible scream. Harry saw Snape's face losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake's fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor. "I regret it," said Voldemort coldly.

Day 28: You Hurt Her! "Tuney!" said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Snape had jumped to his feet. "Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d'you want?" Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. Harry could see her struggling for something hurtful to say. "What is that you're wearing, anyway?" she said, pointing at Snape's chest. "Your mum's blouse?" There was a *crack*. A branch over Petunia's head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears. "Tuney!" But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Snape. "Did you make it happen?" "No." He looked both defiant and scared. "You did!" She was backing away from him. "You *did*! You hurt her!" "No--no I didn't!" But the lie did not convince Lily: After one last burning look, she ran from the little thicket, off after her sister, and Snape looked miserable and confused....

Day 29: Save Your Breath "I'm sorry." "I'm not interested." "I'm sorry!" "Save your breath." It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here." "I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just--" "Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends--you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine." "No--listen, I didn't mean--" "--to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I any different?" He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole....

Day 30: Anything "If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for the mother, in exchange for the son?" "I have--I have asked him--" "You disgust me," said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to drink a little. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?" Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore. "Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her--them--safe. Please." "And what will you give me in return, Severus?" "In--in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, "Anything."

#severus snape #snape fest #bring back the bastard fest 2021 #bring back the bastard fest #bring back the bastard #bring back the bastard prompts #harry potter fandom fest #hp fandom #snapedom #pro-snape #snapelove #prompts #daily prompts #snape prompts

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jangmi-latte · 3 years

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>♡< may i order some cheesy pomefiore headcanons with an s/o who's a ballet dancer?

➻ content: almond chocolate cocoa

➻ warnings: none

➻ comments: i've always wanted to try ballet. makes me wonder how weak my legs are. i've broke my boots one time attempting to stand on my toes :'D this was fun to write. i do be having mad respects for ballerinas.

i. vil schoenheit

➺ with him as a model and actor and you as a ballerina, there is no doubt that both of you will have strict self-care schedules for yourselves. daily yoga and workout with him during the mornings (maybe even late at night) is one of the ways you two would bond with each other.

➺ you may have your own healthy diet and vil somehow keeps track of what you eat to keep your slim figure.

➺ your diet is probably not as strict as vil’s so there are times you would tease him when it comes to any cheat day.

“look vil, i bought fried donuts.”

“get those detrimental calories away from me.”

“but they’re yummy :D”

“no.”

“come on just have a small bite for me.”

“y/n no--!”

➺ vil is a very supportive partner. he values and respects the hard work you went through just to master balance and grace. he would be there for your rehearsals and performances. if magicam had a story function similar to instagram, he would totally add you to his stories.

➺ being a ballerina includes inevitable bruises and wounds while practising. vil makes sure these instances are taken care of instantly. he cares for your physical wellbeing.

➺ dance practices with each other is one of your dates. he would catch you doing a grand jete and would smile in delight. like, damn look at his lover go.

➺ you're a sub mentor during the vdc.

➺ struggling to do a certain dance routine? vil is there to help you. we all know how strict he can be as a teacher and he’s no different when he’s helping you. you handled his teachings before anyways, there’s nothing new to it.

➺ he also uses that as an excuse to touch you (affectionately).

➺ imagine having his hands on your waist while he helps you posture properly during a certain step and then it wanders towards your stomach. the last thing you know he’s already hugging you from behind.

➺ if you’re a popular ballerina then it’s no doubt the paparazzi already caught wind of your relationship. vil would, one day, post a picture of you together and there you go, shippers everywhere.

➺ pomefiore students would be baffled by how flexible you are. you know those flexibility challenges on tiktok? you would definitely do that and the students would question if you have any bones. it’s possible you’re more flexible than vil, he’ll totally ask how you stretch during yoga.

“stretching that far back is scaring me,” he said, watching as you bent back while you sat in a front split. “be careful, you might break your spine.” you sat back properly, smiling at your boyfriend while you brought your legs back together. sitting doll-like while stretching your feet, “that’s my favorite stretching position. really helps with the back.” you stretched your arms this time, arms rising above your head before standing back up. vil simply sighed, knowing not to question the capabilities of a ballerina. you are far beyond your liege. his eyes wandered over to the shelf in the dance studio. there sat both your awards, his from modeling and acting, while yours are from your magnificent dancing. the real epitome of hard work.

vil’s mind began to wander at how far you two had gone-- until he heard a loud bang against the studio floor that his head snapped over to your fallen form. “ow…” you giggled while he clicked his tongue. “see, from stretching too much you got weaker. doing too much of one thing isn’t good.” his legs swiftly brought him to your fallen form. strong arms lifting you up bridal style towards a chair. “are you hurt?” he spoke with concern laced in his voice.

“this fall is nothing compared to how hard i’ve fallen for you though,” you shrugged.

“okay, that’s enough bonding with rook and epel,” he sighed.

“i love you though.”

“thanks.”

“vil! ow- ow okay okay i may or may not have bruised my knees--!”

ii. rook hunt

➺ most supportive boyfriend you had.

➺ it’s likely he fell for you after seeing you dance. would compliment you in the most poetic ways possible and even knows the words to ballet steps.

➺ his phone gallery and camera will be full of pictures of you. ranging from you in your ballet costumer to you during rehearsals yet in the most elegant pose you can do. you would think his wall would be adorned by your pictures too, but no, he has a corkboard just on the other side of his room with pictures of you.

➺ you bet, he’s there during your performances.

➺ would call for your help concerning the vdc since he knows you have potential that can help vil training the juniors. he really just wants you there since he, himself, gets tired from practicing yet he doesn’t show it.

➺ you accidentally kicked him on the face once you did a high split and damn, even with a bleeding nose, was he impressed. let’s not ask how you even kicked him, he just popped out of nowhere.

➺ if you were able to use a bow and arrow using your feet then… just imagine hearing a thump somewhere in the room because rook probably fell off a tree seeing that. that’s some hard ass skill to do and he just fell for you more.

➺ totally your videographer and photographer!!! taking confidence in your skills and looks considering you have to look fit and need to feed your fans with some content, rook would be your best go-to person when it comes to taking videos and pictures. he has got the best angles to capture your utmost beauty.

➺ people wouldn’t even question why rook is smiling while staring at a distance again. yet, as vil and epel had observed, his smile was more soft and sweet while he watched you suddenly dance in the school’s courtyard. he can’t believe you were actually his lover.

➺ is willing to run around and help you with what you need. leg warmers? check. water bottle? check. just as long as he gets to watch you perform he’s contented.

➺ if you have a performance outside of the country, rook would try his best to watch via social media but before you leave, he’s going to give you encouraging words and how he’ll miss you. when you come back home, you got, not only rook with a very proud smile on his face, but also vil (who apparently watched after seeing rook so immersed).

you cried and yelled awake as another cramp hit your calf. oh, those very painful cramps when you stretch your legs after continuous leg workout. rook was jolted awake by your screams and immediately sat up and bent your toes backwards. his hair disheveled and eyes panicked and concerned despite having sleepiness in them. “mon cheri...” his husky (still sleepy) voice called as you whined, feeling the pain immediately leave from the aid of your boyfriend. “are you alright?”

“sorry…” you sniffed, carefully adjusting your leg after rook had let go of your toes and laid back beside you. “that was your third cramp this week,” he spoke worriedly. half-lidded green eyes looking in concern. “aren’t you overworking yourself?” he asked. rook is, no doubt, a very supportive boyfriend when it came to your talents, but that doesn’t mean he’ll support the fact you're getting hurt and tired from overworking yourself. he has woken up to your screams of pain for three consecutive nights. he didn’t mind waking up to aid you, he’s just really worried unto why you’re even having cramps in the first place.

“maybe…” you mumbled, hiding your face on the crook of his neck, “scold me next time please… i don’t really like waking up to this or even disturb you from your sleep.”

rook chuckled quietly, whispering, “your dancing is one of the reasons i love you. but if i do need to watch out then i’ll call vil. i’ll be too immersed watching you dance to even notice.”

“rook,” you whined.

“alright, alright. now relax yourself, mon cheri. bonne nuit.”

iii. epel felmier

➺ is amazed at how high you jump and how flexible you are. he’ll attempt to do the same even though he has no idea how to do it exactly. when you mentioned it’s ballet, he went red and exclaimed, “t-that’s ballet…?!”

➺ remember when he complained to vil about the dane being meandering and girly and now he needs to do ballet? guess who he ran to.

➺ is actually quite skeptical that he may not look manly as he wanted to be but after you said that learning ballet can help with his muscles, he’s already bombarding you with questions.

➺ thanks to vil, both him and deuce already have ballet shoes. since they didn’t have to do a releve, it was just simply stretching and balance to teach.

➺ “epel, you need to look like a swan not a seal having an asthma attack.” “wHAt?”

➺ sure, you’re both in a relationship, but epel would still get flustered by your touches during dance rehearsals. like come on, he’s supposed to be the guy holding your waist to look attractive and not the other way around.

➺ even so, he’s thankful for your help. you’re not as ‘demonic’ (as ace would put it) as vil.

➺ when he’s just watching you, damn, the admiration in his eyes was oiling your gears more. he really wants to be strong and you know even your talent can help him go where he wants to be with vil’s guidance as well.

➺ deuce would downright be confused on how close you two are until you kissed epel’s cheek when he successfully spun without toppling over. the first year was dumbfounded.

➺ “all thanks to y/n!” he would cheer when vil pointed out epel’s improvement. man, seeing vil’s proud smirk and epel’s victorious grin-- you had to hold onto rook to avoid fainting.

➺ epel would want to have an innocent competition with you on who can spin the most without getting dizzy and he instantly lost while you’re still spinning. and you’re on a pointe.

➺ your magicam would be videos and photographs of him attempting and succeeding certain ballet routines or even just him practicing for the vdc. relationship goals and ace feels stupid about love.

➺ you would let him smack your ballet shoes (to soften them) on stairs or something if he’s pissed. at least your shoes will be easier to use.

“shit, this is harder than i thought,” the first-year pants as he collapsed on the floor. you rubbed your nape, watching as deuce’s knees quivered while balancing on a board. “alright, enough you two,” you called and gave them water bottles. you assisted the both of them epel by removing his ballet shoes and there, your eyes softened. he hasn’t even experienced the full ballet course (like what you’ve experienced) and you can already see bruises and the evident veins prodding on his skin.

“we’ll do some stretching tomorrow. you both did enough balancing for today. no legs shall be strained too much, who knows what’ll happen if you got injured during the duration of the vdc.”

“no, wait! i can do more!” epel persuaded as he stood up, only to wince and drop back on the floor after feeling the pain on his ankles. “see, that’s what i mean.” knowing the ice bags would come in handy, you approached your boyfriend and laid them on his feet. “you’re excelling enough, epel. do it more slowly. you were able to do a pirouette even without doing a releve and that’s already an achievement.”

you heard him sigh, watching his face grow solemn as he looked at his feet. “i just want to prove myself to vil…”

“and you’re proving yourself enough. he’ll see your progress and i can already see him being proud. all i did was guide you, you did all the hard work yourself and that’s what’s important to vil. chin up.” you smiled, pecking epel’s nose as he immediately looked away. his lips quivering to a small smirk before nodding. “t-then...i’ll make sure i can be strong enough to even beat vil! that’s my promise!”

poor deuce being a third wheel.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #pomefiore #pomefiore x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst imagines #night raven college

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star-anise · 3 years

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Thank you for your reply. My ask was kind of all over the place. (I've done some dbt before with a previous therapist and it helped! But that therapist was not a good fit I'm at a new one now tho).

Random thing, you mentioned bpd I heard in my abnormal psychology class that a lot of therapists won't treat someone diagnosed with bpd??? It was the teacher who is a grad student studying to be a therapist who said it. And like. I don't understand. They sound like a very in need population who was often abused and there's a whole huge book of treatment resources written by someone with bpd. I've heard they're "hard to treat" and talked about like they're hopeless. but like why be a mental health professional if you don't like mentally ill/different people?

This is also the same professor who insisted trauma is only the few things listed under dsm ptsd definition as traumatic events.. like she said parents getting divorced isn't a traumatic event because you aren't physically in danger... that class really scared me about the mental health field because of all the awful people in it aspiring to be therapists including the teacher.

Sorry for all the asks I love the work you do on this blog

Ahahaha, what IS it about undergrad abnormal psych professors? Mine said he wouldn't touch clinical practice with a ten-foot pole, and told a story about how once a student told him she had schizophrenia, and he knew that she was lying because obviously nobody with schizophrenia could actually manage to attend university.

(It's seriously untrue. I've had both friends and clients with psychotic disorders who succeeded in university. He was being an ableist bastard. Like, I know psych students can tend to over-identify with a disorder they're studying without actually having it, but that doesn't mean no psych student is ever entirely correct about their deal.)

Okay so, BPD. The thing about BPD is that it requires a special skillset that does not come standard in most clinical training. If a therapist who doesn't have that skillset tries to treat someone with BPD, the therapy will not be very effective and the process will be very frustrating for both them and their client. To be very frank, it's just as true that ordinary therapists are bad at treating BPD and don't like feeling stupid, as it is that people with BPD are hard to treat.

(And training to deal with people with BPD clinically is often not included in grad school education. DBT training is expensive and they won't accept you unless you have an adequate clinical placement.)

Also, part of dealing with BPD in particular is... people with BPD often have trouble seeing authority figures with anything more nuanced than "adoration and compliance" or "fear and loathing". As a therapist, you're signing up as an authority figure. Part of the work means letting your client express all their feelings about you, and helping them work to something more nuanced and sustainable, like, "I am furious and enraged that I'm in pain and I wish my therapist could take that pain away, but I realize that's not within her power. I have to admit that she's not being an evil villain here, so I can feel my resentment but let it go."

Which can be stressful to deal with, as a therapist. You have to live with a lot of hurt and anger and rage headed your way, and keep your perspective. Be empathetic without getting carried away in those emotions. You have to be able to face that pain and say, "I can't take that away. I can only help you learn to bear it."

Basically everyone I know in grad school had a nervous breakdown somewhere along the line because we go to therapist school because we're smart and capable and feel good about helping people, so when we encounter a person we can't help, or are put in situations where we have to stop helping, we tend to have existential crises and end up sobbing in the student lounge about What Am I Even Good For Now. I was lucky because I had a version of that breakdown before I entered grad school, and my therapist warned me to get a new shrink when I moved for my Master's, "Because if you don't need one at the beginning, you'll definitely need one by the end." So I was more equipped to help classmates for whom this was a wholly new experience.

In my opinion, the healthy way to approach the problem of A Person You're Not Good At Helping is to practice humility, set reasonable boundaries, recognize the limits of your competence, and see where you can learn and grow. But many therapists and helping professionals use what I consider to be an unhealthy approach, labelling such clients as "defensive" and "resistant" and "hard to treat" and blaming them for the difficulty.

Which like, I get that "practicing humility" is like "doing exercise", sometimes you're tired and cranky and don't want to go for a run. Sometimes you just want to blame the other person for not accepting your magnanimous help.

Anyway, within the field of mental health psychotherapy, complex trauma is a unique sub-speciality that many therapists don't want to touch at all. I had many classmates say, "Woof, you're into complex trauma? You must be so tough, I could never." 🙄

(Technically I have the ethical obligation to represent my profession in the best possible light to encourage public confidence in the field of psychotherapy. But I think it's not undermining the profession to admit what everyone already knows, which is that some therapists are oblivious assholes who do bad work. I've seen it, I've met them, I want them to piss off forever. Jordan Peterson is a blight to our names and Phil McGraw can go choke.)

So people who are on your wavelength about BPD and trauma and What Therapists Are For are out there. They're just a little rarer than the usual run of therapists. For what it's worth, I've found they cluster more in areas like complex trauma, DBT, Narrative Therapy, and the Hearing Voices Movement. Next year (knock on wood) I'l be going to a conference on the treatment of complex trauma with a friend, and this sounds weird given that it's a weekend all about child maltreatment, but I expect it to be a blast, because I'll get to be among My People, talking about the work that fills our souls.

I really wish that as an undergrad, I'd spent more time hanging out with Social Work students, and going to conferences and trainings. Those are where I met some of the coolest people I really clicked with. And in grad school, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting other people who were a lot like me. Those friendships were especially rewarding because as skilled helpers, we ended up playing a game of Needs Chicken, where each tries hide their own needs and caretake for the other, which finally ended up in a standoff where we had to agree to put down our caretaking skills and just be honest about what we wanted, even if that felt new and scary and raw.

(Support me: Patreon and Paypal.)

#therapisting #advice about therapisting #borderline personality disorder #ableism tw #long post

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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If you're still doing the ask meme, 156/170 for Rexwalker, Codiwan(?), Disaster Lineage, or Quinlan Vos with any of the Disaster Lineage?

390 Prompts!!!!

156. “I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”

170. “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”

-------

Rex holds up a hand, closes his eyes, and breathes deep. General Skywalker’s still looking at him, probably.

“Okay,” Rex says, opening his eyes again. “That’s... I’m sorry, run that by me again.”

“I’m not your commanding officer anymore and was hoping I could take you on a date?”

“Yeah, that’s--that’s what I thought you said,” Rex manages. “Sir--”

“You don’t have to call me that anymore, Rex, the war’s over and--”

“Sir, you’re married.”

The General has the audacity to smile at him, an almost pitying amusement in the expression. He holds up a comm. “Padme’s encouraging it, but we could give her a call if you want proof.”

That... does change some things.

Rex runs a hand over his face, grimacing. “Just... just give me a second.”

“You can say no,” Anakin tells him, almost too gently. “Seriously, no hard feelings.”

“Sir, with all due respect, please shut the fuck up.”

“Noted.”

Rex tries to get his thoughts in order. It’s a little difficult. Anakin waits, obligingly silent.

“You’re married, with kids,” Rex says. “And a Jedi.”

“Eh, half a Jedi,” Anakin dismisses. “Running missions doesn’t mean I have my role back after coming clean with the marriage. I’m like... Jedi-adjacent. Like I still technically work for the Order, but I think I’m classified as a civilian consultant or something? I dunno, Obi-Wan said he’d handle the paperwork and then kicked me out of the room because Master Vos was trying to get his pants off.”

“I--no, I didn’t need to know that,” Rex says.

“I don’t think it was for sex, if that helps?”

“It doesn’t. I don’t--if it involves Vos, just don’t tell me.”

“Alright.”

“Right. My point was that you won’t have time for another relationship,” Rex points out. “Twin infants and missions and--and a padawan, if Ahsoka’s choosing you over coming back to the Temple.”

“And Ahsoka’s going to be coming with me on those missions, and we were both hoping to ask you to stick around and keep working with us,” Anakin says. He smiles, charming and sincere. “As equals, this time.”

“And if I wanted to retire?”

“Then we probably wouldn’t have time for a romance between the rest of my life, and we could just stay friends who comm each other a lot,” Anakin says. He tucks his hands behind his back, but there’s just enough of a twitch to his shoulders visible through the black leather to tell Rex that the man is fidgeting. “I’m not... I’ve already done one romance where neither of us had enough time. You’re right that, with the twins, it’s only going to be harder, even if there isn’t a war eating up all my time anymore. But on the off-chance that you want to keep working with me, and that you like me back in that way, I want to give it a shot. Hyperspace isn’t exactly romantic, but it’s time together.”

All of these are solid points.

Rex just... doesn’t know what to do with them.

“Do you want me to give you a mo--”

“I’ve spent the past three and a half years trying not to get my hopes up,” Rex admits, spitting the words out before he can lose his nerve. “And I mostly succeeded. And now you’re telling me you’re actually interested and not just as a hookup, but as an actual relationship.”

Anakin beams, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Yeah, I do, now that it’s not weirdly terrible power dynamics. So is that a yes?”

“Yes, Si--Anakin. Yes, Anakin, I’d like to go on a date with you, and possibly with Senator Amidala if that’s going to be part of... whatever it is that you’re proposing.”

“We can figure it out,” Anakin promises, and in a movement just slightly too fast to be human, darts over to where Rex is and grabs his hands. The way he swings their hands is almost childish, but Rex finds it endearing. It’s an easy contact, and he isn’t sure if Anakin’s deliberately making it as non-aggressive as possible, but he thinks it’s likely. If it’s intentional, it’s very sweet for him to try this hard not to put any pressure on Rex. “So, how do feel about tomorrow?”

“Is there something wrong with tonight?”

“Padme has to stay late at the Senate so I’m watching the twins,” Anakin says, with an oddly careless shrug. “So unless you want a first date to include babies spitting up on your shoulder, I’d go with tomorrow.”

Rex blinks, and then says, “I mean, maybe not a date, then. That wouldn’t be any different than just visiting you on a normal afternoon.”

Anakin stops swinging their hands. “So... you’re saying you want to babysit tonight?”

Rex separates their hands and grips Anakin’s face between his palms, pulling him down. “Anakin. Yes. I am hanging out with you and your adorable, smelly noise machines tonight, and we’re doing a date tomorrow, and the day after that will probably be half the GAR spamming both of us on all comms to tease us.”

“And then we can kiss?” Anakin asks, with a voice that implies he’s never had such a thing before, rather than being four years married and a father of two.

He can’t help but roll his eyes. He pulls Anakin down and in, presses their lips together and tilts just a little to--ah, there. That feels right.

Anakin is a very expressive, very tactile person who melts into him, wraps his arms around, steps in and adds some tongue and wow this man moves fast.

Well.

Rex digs the fingers of one hand into Anakin’s hair lets the other drift down to settle on a leather-clad hip, and settles into the deepening kiss, laughing when Anakin tries to get somehow closer.

The situation could be much worse than a long-term crush wanting to move straight from ‘absolutely no pressure, but you wanna go on a date?’ to ‘let’s make out in a private room’ in under ten minutes.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah, this is gonna work.

#rexwalker #RexAniDala #Captain Rex #Anakin Skywalker #Rex #Phoenix Answers Memes #star wars #the clone wars #sorry anon I don't think this is what you were hoping for

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