what do you say to a trans person who’s sharing after-surgery pics?
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My dad has a little gag he loves doing that involves me being trans (it’s fun- don’t worry).
So, my dead name is also the name of a food item (spelled different but sounds the same). We sometimes eat that food item- it’s a nice treat. His little joke is that he will only call that food “Dead Names”- which leads to hilarious instances of hearing my 70 year old father call out “Hey, I’m going to go grab some Dead Names while we’re here!” while he’s half way down the isle in the grocery store, or him coming home and saying “hey, I picked up a box of Dead Names while I was out! :)”
It just makes me so overwhelmingly happy that my old name is not something wrapped in grief. It doesn’t represent a loss. It is something we can smile about and remember even if it doesn’t fit me anymore.
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Many Aces go through a process where they learn what society conventionally considers "sexy" and learn how to feign sexual attraction, without experiencing it themselves, based on those standards. This is known as "hacking the allo-gorithm"
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